#“why have you changed so much?” “how i wouldn't after this and that: you are the ones that are unable to change! now leave me alone!!”

[cherie-doll]

I have this brainrot for a while now

Which cod man would be the most husband material, who waits for the shortest amount of time before getting married? And who would be the one who would be fine with not getting married at all? And where are the rest of them?

How many kids would they want if they want?

I don’t need sleep, i need answers!😭

sorry for the delay my wifi is so slow, we just got a new batch of snow down here and tbh it might be affecting my internet

✧ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

ᰍᩚ Price... he's PERFECT husband material. Cut from the finest cloth I'm SO normal about him. You've just observed his behavior closely and he doesn't do annoying things like leaving his clothes lying around on the floor or leaving unwashed dishes in the sink. He def want to get married, but doesn't wait too long nor asks you right away, he'd time it just right. As for kids? Maybe he could convince you to have one or two...

ᰍᩚ Ghost... he doesn't realize he can lowkey be a good husband. He thinks he's not willing to adapt to anyone, given how much stuff he's been through. A relationship isn't the worst thing he's had to go through, he's gone through worse, so why is he thinking about it so much? He doesn't want to enter a relationship with only half a heart, not mindlessly. But he knows his feelings towards you don't come from nothing. His feelings would have to be resolved before you even started dating, so that afterwards everything progresses pretty smoothly. And after marriage, kids? Maybe idk.

ᰍᩚ Soap... he probably had your entire life planned out before he confessed. He knew he loved you, was convinced he wanted to marry you and needed to have kids. So, he waited the least amount of time to marry you. There's lots of things he could improve on as a partner but the good thing is he's willing to make any and all of those changes for you. His respect will never run dry, he won't let desperation take ahold of him, always letting you know one way or another he still cares. It was up to you to decide how many kids you'd be okay with but if it were up to him... yk what better not go there.

ᰍᩚ Gaz... Perfect boyfriend AND husband material. He loves showing affection with the little things, a cup of coffee or tea and cuddling when you feel down or taking care of chores when you need a break. Simple things that he does on the daily that in the long run fortify your relationship. The amount of time he waits before asking you to marry him depends and it's all on how you want your relationship to progress. He's surefooted in his decisions so after the initial stages of the relationship when he's gotten to know you very well, your faults and what he loves about you, he just lets you know that if you want to take that step, he's more than ready to do so. He def wants kids, at least three.

ᰍᩚ Roach... oh my sweet boy ToT. He's such boyfriend material and in time will no doubt grow into a loving husband. He very deeply cares about your connection and how deep it runs between you both. The topic of marriage comes up at a very proper time in your relationship, it's when all he can think of is holding your hand every day, how comforting your presence is to him and how this couldn't ever revert into something casual. Marriage is a definite yes for him. Kids are something he wouldn't think of right away. Maybe a few years down the lane, and maybe one.

ᰍᩚ Alejandro... you made him wish impossible things. How you've made him feel, the sensations not only running smoothly over his skin but finding a way to penetrate deeply, to make him desire nothing else but a life with you. Marriage was the ideal way to continue living in that daydream. How he wishes the days were endless, so he can rejoice for eternity with you. If this was what made him wish to be better, then he was surely husband material. In time, he'd want to start a family with you, to create life, to have little ones to take care of. Three or four kids would occupy his days.

ᰍᩚ Rudy... is THE blueprint for all husbands out there to follow. He's very patient, his voice soothes you, could lull you to sleep. Always listens to you even if you rant, if you point out a flaw of his he works to be better. Never pushed you into doing anything, even when he could already hear the wedding bells ringing, he wanted you to make this decision on your own. In the back of his mind, he most likely already had baby names planned and asked if you wanted kids. He def did and wanted three. He thought it was the perfect number.

ᰍᩚ Phillip Graves... husband material at its FINEST. He's not only charming and a gentleman as a boyfriend but also as a husband. He just couldn't wait to put a ring on your finger so he did want marriage very soon. There is no way he'd NOT want children, he's just as much father material as he is husband material. I've said it before but he was made to father children and I will die on that hill. He loves going everywhere with his son, showing him how to run a company and then he gentles when his daughter is born, doing everything she wants.

ᰍᩚ Makarov... husband material at the core. Deep on the inside he can be genuine and want to care for someone. He likes having someone to depend on him, under his care, leaning on him for that strange affection that isn't found anywhere else. It would be hard to refuse him with the amount of gifts he sends to sweeten you up and coax you to accept his proposal that came too soon for your liking. But look at it this way, he'll always provide everything you'll ever need and want and in exchange you only have to agree to marry him, live with him and... kids. Yes, he wants kids. A numerous family preferably.

ᰍᩚ Keegan... is quite levelheaded when it comes to relationships so he's fine with staying your boyfriend and living with you or becoming your husband when you marry. He could improve on becoming peak husband material but you're lucky if he picks up his clothes from the floor and places it in the laundry basket instead. He thinks having no kids is better until you get a scare thinking you might be with child and he gets excited until you call false alarm. He felt disappointment and then realized he did want kids after all. Would be fine with just one but wouldn't completely be against having another one later on.

ᰍᩚ König... it's not him you have to worry about when it comes to marriage. He's got to watch out for himself because YOU'RE going to wife him up, otherwise he'd never get around to asking you to marry him. Not that he wouldn't want to but he's thinking when would be the perfect moment to ask and he's always thinking, "I'm going to ask them next date", and another date comes and goes by and then another and another... He'd learn to be so loving with kids you just gotta convince him he CAN be a good father. I don't know how many he could handle though.

ᰍᩚ Horangi... he's fun but he's prob best as a boyfriend. Not that he could never be a husband because he can, but he'd be completely fine with not marrying. If you're expecting him to bring up the question and get down on his knee for you... then you're probably setting yourself up for disappointment. It'd take him a while and you'd have to hint at wanting marriage, because otherwise he wouldn't mind just moving in together. I know I used to say he'd want marriage quickly but idk man my perception of him changed. He might get baby fever (rare) and he might ask for ONE kid them, but don't think he's the type for them much.

ᰍᩚ Nikto... if he does open up to wanting a relationship you've got to work with him on the long run. He might be closed off to certain things simply because he might not see a point in progressing in that field, but once he sees that you respect him and don't force anything, he'd def want to marry you. I'm not exactly sure how long he'd wait before proposing to you, honestly it all depends but once he grows attached to a person he wouldn't want to be apart from them so I'm guessing he'd tie the knot pretty soon. The topic of kids is something he's very hesitant of, he rarely gets baby fever, like ever. It'd have to be a lot of convincing on your part. But he might be okay with one or two at most.

[ohsugar-honey-iced-tea]

Hi!

I wanted to send you this request: could you please write something with pregnant!wanda being very insecure about her body, and reader shows her that she loves her no matter what??

It can be fluff, smut. It’s up to you!!

All I will ever need

Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

A/n: I have missed writing so much and I am so happy to finally put all my thoughts and ideas on here again

Summary: where Wanda is being haunted by thoughts and memories of her past

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Ugly. Fat. Hideous. Stupid. Loser.

Wanda remembers each and every word that was thrown to her growing up.

The names, the mean pranks, the cruel beatings. Wanda remembers them all like it was yesterday. Day in day out, high school felt like a true horror every day she went.

Maybe they were right. Maybe she was indeed ugly and hideous. Why else would they feel the need to say this to Wanda every moment of every day?

Hot tears rolled over her reddened cheeks as she looked at herself in the mirror.

Wanda is around 14 weeks pregnant now, and she could see. She could see how her belly was growing a little more every day.

She remembered how happy you were the day she told you she was pregnant. And although there was happiness, her thoughts soon filled with doubt. Would she be good enough? Would you still find her attractive whilst her body would change? Would you get bored of her? Would you leave?

Harsh words and anxiety filled her thoughts, and she could feel panic settling into her body.

As Wanda's heart started racing and her breathing quickened, you came home from work.

You had brought Wanda her favorite flowers, white lilies. The same ones you gave her on your first date, and which ones she held on your wedding day.

"Hey Wands, I'm home!"

Silence.

Usually you would be greeted warmly by your wife or find her in the livingroom, painting, reading or cooking. As much as you wanted her to relax for her and the baby, Wanda wanted to stay busy. It helped keep her mind quiet.

"Wanda?"

A cold feeling came over you as you saw the bathroom lights on. As you rushed on the stairs to get to her you could hear fast breathing coming from the bathroom.

You quickly opened the door and there she was. The second you saw her you rushed to her, and Wanda immediately fell in your arms, making both of you tumble to the floor. As you held her close you felt Wanda shake, as she sobbed into your shoulder.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! Please stop, I promise I'll be good!"

All you could do was hold her as Wanda was deep into reliving her horrible nightmares from the past.

"It's okay, Wanda. You're okay. I am right here, I promise. Let it all out, we are here together. It's okay, you are safe"

Wanda cried and cried and you silently cried with her. It was in that moment you swore to yourself you wouldn't ever let anything or anyone hurt Wanda again.

After a good ten minutes, Wanda looked at you, tears swimming in her eyes and voice shaking with sobs.

"Please don't leave me"

Your heart broke for the frail little girl you suddently saw in Wanda. A girl who loved so much and wanted to give so much, and got so much she didn't deserve.

Giving her a little smile, you softly stroked her tear stained cheek.

"Oh my love, I wouldn't ever leave you. Don't you know you are stuck with me? You are all I will ever need. Past, present and future"

You moved your hand to her pregnant belly.

"You and our little peanut, of course"

Wanda smiled a little, but it quickly turned into a frown.

"But my stomach is getting so big, and I am getting more tired. What if we end up arguing a lot? And what if I get so big by the end that you won't love me anymore? And what if-"

You cut her off with a kiss as you held her hands.

"All I heard in that sentence was 'we', Wanda. We are in this together. Now and forever"

You pressed little kisses to each of Wanda's fingertips, earning you a watery giggle.

"And I wouldn't mind forever with you"

Wanda's smile brightened, and she leaned into you, cuddling her head on your shoulder.

"It's actually not one, but two peanuts"

You looked at her with wide eyes and you4 mouth open.

"You mean...?"

"Twins"

"Twins?"

"We are having two little boys, detka"

You suddently picked her up, and swirled the both of you around in the tiny bathroom, smiling widely.

"We are having twins!"

You spent the rest of the day celebrating, just the two of you.

Bad feelings come and go, and difficult memories will always be there, but when you're with the right person there is nothing in the world you can't conquer.

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Let me know if you want to be added to the Wanda taglist! If you have any requests, send them! Reblogs are much appreciated :)

Taglist: @wandanats-goodgirl

[will80sbyers]

Mileven is endgame, proof (let's see if you dare to respond):

1- Mike was scared of losing Eleven, that's why he made that face at the end of s3, he is so in love he cant even handle it!

2- Mike tried to help el when she got bullied and went looking for her, until you know who decided to make that moment about him. When El hit Angela, he was in shock, but the next day he tried to apologize empatizing with her and forgave he for lying inmediatly

I do think Mike likes Will, but he is in love with Eleven and that is a fact

Be honest are you a Byler pretending to be a mileven?

Because even for a mlvn there's no coherent train of thought here in any way so I hope it's someone saying random shit lol it's actually a trainwreck of "logic" from start to finish to the point that it's funny

Baby, if Mike "likes Will" then byler is endgame 100% because writers don't write bisexual characters or make a character like another if they don't intend to do anything with it, if you think in any capacity that Mike is bisexual then mileven is done lol

1) You're right, Mike is scared of losing El from his life, that's why he's still clinging to her even if the relationship is not good for them anymore... and I don't think he has realized his feelings for Will consciously yet, he's still trying to repress them, in the season 3 finale the reason he makes that face after the kiss is because he's shocked and they wanted to replicate the kiss in the IT saga between Bill and Beverly, note that they have also made a OBVIOUS parallel between byler and benverly...which will both be endgame 🌈❤️🤗

If you were talking about this shot right here

this is because he also has feelings for Will and it's directly connected to Will because that's his house and we had another shot before of Mike looking at the cars go away so they didn't need to repeat a shot of Mike like that, it wouldn't make sense if it was for Eleven, it's pretty obvious Byler is being constructed and mileven is being destroyed and it's been a few seasons of this...

They even made him find her choice of breakfast weird for literally no reason at all except focusing on how much they aren't really that much compatible as a couple

+ not liking her milkshake, not liking skating, not liking the pizza with pineapple, dressing up in a completely different style only because he feels so insecure with her that he feels like he needs to pretend to be cooler than who he really is and being with her makes him feel like he has to be in the "boyfriend role" instead of being just Mike... like El feels like she had to lie for months about her whole life just because she felt like Mike wouldn't love her if she wasn't normal enough... They don't understand each other fundamentally anymore and it's okay, you grow and you change and relationships stop working sometimes!

2) At rink o mania MIKE is the one that starts their argument taking away the focus from finding Eleven... just because he's pissed that Will wasn't acting happy that he was there being a 3rd wheel for their date... And Will clocked that and asked him to explain himself lmfao

Mike doesn't know what true love is yet... exactly like Laurie from Little Women didn't know shit about true love and was idealizing Jo

Mike is doing the same to El because he's a 14yo kid... He'll understand as he grows up 😚

[aplacefordreaming24]

WAAAAA HELLO HELLO HELLO

I have so many f/o's but I'll always happily take the chance to gush about my main. His name is Ted, and he's just- sigh. He's so perfect to me. I love him so much. He's the light of my life and I always feel better just thinking about him hehehe

My irl bf was the one who introduced me to him actually ;0 and it took *years* irl for me to really think about him the way I do now!!! Because originally I watched a playthrough of the game he comes from, and,,, ngl the light he's shown in that is kinda awful? Not the worst, but certainly not the best. But then, years later, I finally got around to reading the original story he comes from (It was a short story first called "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream," and then it got turned into a game). And just. God. Idk. Something about him, just- clicked!

And like, you wouldn't think it would, because ngl he's kinda, worse in the story? But it was more just- why he is the way he is that clicked. The reasons behind how he behaves that you don't learn in the game. And so much of himself, his core character, was changed in the game. (Same with everyone, besides like, the villain). And for the first time, I saw someone who was very similar to me. I felt seen and understood by his true character, and it made me grow really sympathetic for him.

After the initial shock wore down, it all just kinda came crashing into "Omg I love him so much I just wanna make him so happy" ykyk?? The way his story ends is so tragic but I wanna believe that it isn't the end. That he'll end up happy, eventually, no matter how long it takes. And I wanna be the one waiting for him with open arms to bring him that happiness and support and love that he deserves and never got.

It's silly. It's dumb. A lot of the fandom is split on his character; some really love him like me, and others kinda hate the hell out of him. And it always kinda gets me down but yk, he's still my love. My prince. My one and only. I just try to think about comforting him and block people who hate him cause like. I get it. I get why you would. But that doesn't mean I have to, feel the same? At least I think so.

He has a lot of paranoia about people hating him. I do too, but I'm always there to remind him it's not true. I'll never hate him. He has my heart, and even if he chose someone else, I'd still love him. His happiness means more to me than some silly conditional thing.

Maybe that's a little unhealthy to say. But yk, I feel this way for all my relationships, friendships, etc. I'd rather you be happy without me than miserable around me. No point in sticking around; it does neither of us any good.

Idk. I could go on and on about my s/i and his relationship (If you've ever heard of Orpheus and Eurydice, they're very much like that, including the doomed aspect). How they're two sides of the same coin and such. But like- man. If I sit here and talk all day about him I'm not gonna get anything I need to do today done.

Sorry if this is long fnjdfjk really if you don't wanna respond you don't have to!! But ty for giving me a place to gush about him ;0

AND PLEASE FEEL FREE TO GUSH ABOUT YOU AND VERGIL TO ME TOO I'D LOVE TO HEAR IT!!! I LOVE LISTENING TO PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THEIR LOVES!!!

GUSH ABOUT YOUR F/O IN THE REBLOGS TO ME AND I WILL ACTUALLY LISTEN AND RESPOND TO THEM ACCORDINGLY BECAUSE YOU 🫵 DEAR READER DESERVE TO HAVE YOUR INTERESTS TREATED WITH RESPECT AND NOT JUST GET A "wow that's neat"

doubles and proshippers dni! Doubles you also deserve respect I'm just not very good at sharing I'm so sorry!

[mehiwilldoitlater]

You trusted him. 

When Wukong presented Liu Er Mihou to you, you knew that he was just another eye on you. The only one that he could trust to leave alone with you, knowing that he would never do anything to harm you or to take you away from him. A jailer to guard you.

You kept your guard; you treated him more like he wasn't there, a shadow that was following you, following the natural rule of the sun.

You wanted, but then what had changed? Maybe the fact that he had kept his mouth shut with Wukong about the insults that you had spoken about him, that he had allowed you more alone time than everyone ever did. Maybe it was the fact that, in your most downtime, he was there, holding you, whispering sweet things in your ears, promising you that things would have gone better. Maybe you just wanted someone who didn't force himself on you, a good ear that could listen to your sorrow, a shoulder to cry on; in any case, you opened up to him. You started to believe in him, trust him.

You trusted him more than you could trust your judgment.

"I can take you away from here." His voice calm, serene almost, his hand raised towards you, an invitation.

You held your breath. Was that a test? No, no, he would never...

"Far...far, far away from here...from him... wouldn't you like that?"

His voice so sweet, his offer was everything that you could ask for. 

You trusted him; that's why you took his hand.

///

While running through the forest, your mind was spiraling like a storm.

You were running away, Freedom. Just up ahead.

He had asked you more than once if you were sure, if you were really strong enough to do that. You were, you wanted nothing more than to finally be free. Free from this life that you haven't asked for, from a love that you didn't want, and from Wukong.

He never questioned himself; like you, he had run straight ahead. You wondered, did he care for you enough to risk himself for your own happiness? You wanted to believe that. That's why you never looked back, not once.

You knew that as soon as Wukong found out about your disappearance, he would immediately run to your rescue, but you didn't want to think about that, not when you finally found someone that truly wanted your happiness.

Then, the last threshold, the last line between you and your refound freedom: the bridge. A cliff that separated the Land of the Handsome Monkey King from the rest of the world; a few more meters and you would be out from his kingdom. It wasn't that far from him, but for you it was farther than you had ever been from him in the last months. You never believed that an old bridge made of ropes and wood could make you this happy.

"One last chance," he whispered to you, his thumb caressing your hand. "You can turn back now... And avoid everything that can come After this ..."

He looked at you, searching for any kind of fear and rethinking.

"..." You stepped ahead; the idea of staying alongside that demon another second was enough to convince you of your decision.  The cracking and the lamento of the wood never sounded so BEAUTIFUL in your ears, and after a few steps, Mihou followed you in silence. Was he afraid, just as you? Maybe, you couldn't know. What you did know was just how much the world was so big without Wukong around, how closer to your real life it was!

Crossed the bridge, a few steps away, out from the bushes, out from the tree line, and-

"You took your sweet time, huh?"

The small cup of wine clattered with the nude stone when he posed it down, but in your Heard It was like a thousand thunders. Your eyes glued on him, sitting on that rock with a gourd full of wine and an annoyed look on his face, and even now you felt like he was throwing daggers at you.

You took a few steps back, feeling the ground start to fade under your feet, the air in your lungs stuck in a bubble for the terror that was moving in your veins. 

How?! How did he find out?! Why did he look so calm?! He was never that calm; why was he just sitting there, drinking like nothing had happened?! You wanted to reach for Mihou's hand, holding It is to find some courage; maybe you could still run; maybe together you could—

"Yeah, sorry for that." He dismissed your hand, moving forward. "But I wanted to see if she had some rethinking."

...what?

A second cup was there, waiting for him, which he gladly took to ease his throat from the run. He had the same look as Wukong, but...now, with a better look, that wasn't an annoyed glare...that was disappointment?

They were disappointed in you...and with that, the confusion started to disappear; a realization came like a heavy rain: they planned this...they both planned this. That was some sort of test...

Mihou never wanted you to leave; he wanted to test you. Every time he wanted to see if you really wanted to leave, it was just a way to let you go back and forgive your escape attempt. He tested you, and you failed... you failed...

You turn around, bolting away; you could still manage!  You still couldn't run, escape! With enough luck, just fast enough, you could still see it!  Your Life! Your own life!

But, as soon as you reached a few trees, the painful feelings of your head crushing on the ground completely shattered every small hope that you had been so stubbornly trying to keep light. The painful feeling on your forehead could not compare to what you were feeling in your mind in that moment.

You tried to move away, to break free, but a pair of strong hands had completely pinned you down on the ground. You tried to speak, but you were too afraid to say anything at all. The only sound you could emit was a loud sob, a sign of an imminent crying that they faced just like a child tantrum.

"Don't you dare cry now," the king hissed. "You can blame no one but yourself."

///

There was no punishment when you headed back, which it was, in its own way, quite unusual. But that didn't mean that you weren't utterly terrified of what was happening.

For several days, Wukong never spoke or even dared to enter your cell, that elegant and rich room that served you as a golden cage. You thought that he wanted to isolate you, making you crave some contact, but yet some of his monkeys were allowed to come but to never let you out...

Maybe he wanted to starve you; instead, food came. Maybe he was preparing another of his own special punishments, something just for you... but nothing came, and your sanity was on a string.

Knowing that something had to come prepared you, not knowing, instead, led you to wondering, guessing, and fearing the outcome and what was going to happen. The anxiety, the spiraling of your own nightmares, there was not a single hour in which you didn't pray for something to happen.

After two long weeks of wondering until you had almost chewed your fingernails to the bone, the creak, and white fur came into your vision.

Mihou...

You wanted to scream at him, being angry, but you feared only aggravating what had to happen, so you stayed still, sitting near the window, the taste of your blood in your mouth.

He came closer, looking at your sorry state....fear does have its own way on people, he thought. He crouched down; a small whimper from you gave him the confirmation that you were still aware of your surroundings.

"...You're hurting yourself; you need to stop."

You stopped, registering his words. He had shown some care for you after what had happened...

Suddenly your hand left your mouth to meet his face, but the smack stopped midair when his own had grasped yours before you could hit him. Your eyes, enraged, meet his calm and collected ones, still with that annoyed glare of an adult.

He had lied to you; all that time it was a lie. He had always worked for Wukong; how could you be so naive to fall for his fake kindness?!

"Look at you...you're such a mess...did you realize what happened?"

"You BETRAYED me!"

"No, I was stating a point to my king. You're the liar one; you betrayed his love for you."

You gritted your teeth, moving your arm to free it from his grip, even if he was literally doing nothing to you.

You never lied, because there was no love to lie about. He was just messing with you! You didn't want to hear him, not after all the trust that he had broken.

"Can't you see? Look at you! Did Wukong ever do things that were made to hurt you?"

"Shut up!"

"You're the one that is so desperately trying to run away! To get away from a life that could be nothing but perfect!"

"I don't want to hear you!"

"You said that he had hurt you; since when had he ever crossed your face, huh?! He can be rash; I CAN BE RUTHLESS; it's in our nature, but WHEN did he ever want to hurt you just to do that?"

You stopped moving, too tired, too afraid to listen but incapable of not doing that.

"He had never wanted to hurt you; you did. You hurt yourself because you were too stubborn to accept him! ...You can still change that...."

Your muscle relaxed, he took that chance to take your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him, to face him. How could such a cruel creature have such a gentle face?

"Just accept him...accept me...and it can be different. You can have all the love that no one will ever have; you don't have to hate us or fear us."

His voice was like a poisonous honey, sweet and dangerous.

"Accept us... it's easier..."

And then...everything broke. Your voice erupted in a strong and painful cry, and when he hugged you, hushing you, you didn't scoff him away; you held him closer to you. You were tired, tired of being afraid, of resisting, of feeling everything as a torture. You didn't want your freedom; you didn't want a life at all. You just wanted to stop hurting.

You couldn't see his wicked smile, savoring the fact that his and Wukong's plan finally worked. 

When he saw you the first time, Wukong immediately saw that gleam of wanting, the same one that he had, but oh, he was so possessive. The idea of sharing you with the macaque was enough to send him into a full rage, but even if he despised him, he did accept his counsel. Liu Er Mihou came out with a plan to become the one closer to you and make you finally accept Sun Wukong as your lover. The price?

You, alongside him.

And, even if the price despised the king, the result was quite satisfying.

((@phoenixeclipse-lmkau , yup, she gave me idea and staff to do. It came to me and refused to leave))

[inhuman-obey-me]

Barbatos and 8 because chaos 😈😈😈 (you guys are my favs congrats of 100k!!!!!)

Barbatos + 8: "Dead Walk" - Redhook

Rewriting the past means living without consequences. What freedom, for a demon to exist this way.

"Did you do something you need to atone for?"

Barbatos chuckles regretfully across the table at you.

"Indeed. Something I can never hope to undo."

He begins to reach over the table as if to take your hand, but he pauses just before his fingers can touch yours and withdraws, seemingly thinking better of it.

"A long time ago, before I came to serve the Young Master, I used to travel through the realms freely. Sometimes even through space and time. I never thought to think twice about the feelings of others I met along the way…nor in how my actions may or may not affect them."

Yes, his life back then — a life without consequences, or so he'd thought. Pop a portal here, twist a timeline there, and it was as though he'd never been there at all. Back then, it was nothing more to him than a trivial use of his power, and who was anyone to tell such a powerful demon not to do as he liked?

Well, you, for one. That's always been something charmingly strange about you — your willingness to throw yourself in harm's way and assert your opinion of how those as powerful as those demon brothers should act, even before you had made your pacts with them.

You tilt your head questioningly at him, waiting for him to continue, and he pulls back to himself, putting on a simple smile to reassure you.

"It was that mindset that led to me making a terrible mistake. One that…ended up having a great effect on the lives of Solomon and the Young Master."

He goes quiet again, remembering the moment he'd realized what he'd done — the desperate tremble in the young prince's voice, the lonely tears in his little eyes as he begged his one rare visitor to stay with him at the castle. He'd been too young to understand that Barbatos himself was the reason he lived that way.

If he were to find out now, of course, Barbatos fears how things would change. Diavolo is too just to allow Barbatos to assign himself this penitence forever, even if he did genuinely take joy in keeping himself by the royal's side. He didn't mind never using his powers without explicit instruction from his master; it had been his own suggestion. And was it so bad to chain himself, really, if he'd placed the shackles upon himself?

He'd tasted enough freedom to come to regret it.

"What kind of effect?" you prod, pulling him back to the present again with a tug on his hands, which he'd apparently placed over yours after all while lost in his thoughts.

He frowns and sits back abruptly. "I am not able to tell you the details of that yet," he snaps, immediately regretting how harsh the words come out. He tries again, more gently, "Forgive me for bringing it up. I didn't mean for the conversation to turn this way. It's rare for me to start talking about myself."

After all, it wouldn't do for the past to come back to haunt him. He'd gotten by this long without his secrets coming out; he didn't intend to start revealing them now.

But then, why had he confessed to you even this much?

"Perhaps a part of me just wanted you to understand a little more about myself."

You blush a little bit, bringing another careful smile to his face.

A part of him — just a small part, one he's suppressed for centuries now — thinks of how nice it would be to affect your feelings, your life. To leave some impression of his existence upon you.

Why else would he want you to understand him?

He feels the temptation to tell you on his tongue, in his teeth.

But, no. He'd decided to bury that old self — nailed the coffin shut on it, and wouldn't let it rise again. So that the consequences he'd always escaped wouldn't bury everything he cared about now.

That past must remain secret.

He won't go back to what he's always been.

[honeydixonn]

Back to Friends, Myung Gi

two, 333 (sneak peek)

Nari zoned out staring at the huge number on the wall as they continued to speak about the unsettling factor of the masks and horrid uniforms. Her nails picked at the skin around her cuticles, stopping abruptly when a familiar voice pierced the air.

Her heart picked up in speed as he spoke and her feet raised trying to see where it came from. "What about my phone? Why did you take my phone and wallet? Give them back, please." It couldn't be Myung-Gi. Why would he be here if he was in hiding? Why would he come here, but not to her?

"We're keeping your belongings safe. We'll return them once the games are over." He didn't like the answer he received, he needed to check the markets desperately to gain control of money.

"At least give me my phone. I need to check the crypto market." That's when she knew. The crypto market was still always on his mind.

He couldn't let it go. So she knew that it was truly Myung-Gi. Nari hated his obsession with crypto. Always nagging him about it-- wanting him to close it out and change his channel to something more productive.

Yet, he didn't listen and that's why they're both in this position now. "If I lose money, will you compensate me?" He kept hassling the square-masked man.

The obsession gaining power over every other worry he should be having at the moment. "We will return it to you once the games are over." Myung-Go wasn't having anything the man in charge had to say. All he could think about was his crypto.

"I need to monitor the real-time prices! Do you know how much I've invested?!" His voice raised before he could realize the mistake he was about to make.

"Player 333, Lee Myung-Gi." The man raised a remote before clicking a button causing the screen to change. Nari audibly gasped as a video played of him losing at ddakji, receiving slaps to the face.

"Age 28, used to run a YouTube channel called MG Coin." Nari stepped closer to get a better view of the screen, she hadn't seen his face in months and now he was in here with her.

Yet, the image of him being hurt caused her heart to break. After everything she still would never want to see him being hurt.

"After convincing subscribers to invest in a new crypto coin called Dalmation causing losses of approximately 15.2 million won." Myung-Gi glanced over his shoulder seeing all the faces judging him knowing they're that they were here under the same circumstances.

He caught a glimpse of someone who he thought looked exactly like someone he loved. Someone he trusted with all his heart and pained him to leave her behind. But it couldn't be her, she would never be here, especially in a place like this.

"You shut down and disappeared." The video played him finally winning and receiving money in return, a small smile on his lips at the succession.

"You're wanted for fraud and for violating telecom and financial investment laws. Current debt levels, 1.8 billion won." Nari's eyes widened. 1.8 billion won?

How would she ever help him pay that, there was no way to convince him to come home with that sort of debt. Her hope sputtered within her and every doubt fulfilled her thoughts. It would never be the same again.

The man in charge started naming more players and their debts as the videos changed to their ddakji matches. The reality of everyone's debts weighing heavily on their shoulders.

"Player 114, Ha Nari, 83 million won in debt." His eyes enlarged seeing a video of her in a pretty black dress with her best makeup getting the smile smacked right off her face.

"Nari..." 83 million won? It couldn't be, they must've had the wrong person. How would the Ha Nari Myungi-Gi knew accumulate such a debt?

He wouldn't believe it and he wouldn't believe she was here until he saw her. Until then, none of this was real. Just his kind tricking him. But all he could see was the replaying image of the man slapping her across the face in his mind.

It angered him to have known someone put their hands on her in that way. No one had the right to touch her in any way that harmed her, he knew when he left this place he would find the salesman and hurt him worse than he hurt her.

So he thought.

honey’s note

nothing too serious this chapter

but next chapter… stay tuned, lovelies!

[wingedshadowfan]

‘so long as caitlyn was truly there to help. and if she wasn't, she believed jinx could kill her and, well, vi probably thought in that case she had it coming. by not telling her jinx would be there, she basically sentenced caitlyn to death at the hands of her sister if caitlyn didn't do her part of the plan.’

So you think vi was fine with jinx killing cait if she didn’t prove herself, that she would have it coming? I think you have a good point and it makes me see vi in a different light cause i never saw cait sentencing vi to death no matter what

thank you sm for this question, I'll try my best to explain my thought process!!

i did fear for a while that this interpretation of mine was taking it too far, but i sincerely believe two things:

vi loves caitlyn (and i even argue she knows caitlyn loves her back, despite their fallout) but caitlyn is not family. and family is everything.

vi's family was forged in the dirt, hunger and violence of the undercity over her foundational years spent in adversity and oppression. family is to be lead and protected at all costs (whether it's by vander or by vi, whom he taught this). vi has grown up so much and become who she is only to be able carry the responsibility for her family's safety - remember, she's only so good at keeping her family safe bcuz she's terrified of losing it. this is what made her who she is. it's everything to her.

caitlyn, romantic love, although also in similar conditions, was forged in the first days of vi's freedom, when she was still looking for her family, her true purpose, and is thus something deeply personal to her. it's a luxury and an indulgence bcuz while vi deeply cares for her, she doesn't necessarily lead caitlyn or feel responsibility for her the same way she does for her family. she believes (or thinks it'll be less painful to believe) that, like most good things, this love isn't here to stay ("oil and water"). it's just a thing she can allow herself for a bit before she gets to her family (powder) again. she does grow more attached to caitlyn, and i think she's the closest to seeing caitlyn as smth at the same level of family somwhere between cassandra's death and before their fight - that's where it all crumbles.

vi decidedly doesn't want caitlyn dead but if she had to choose between jinx killing caitlyn and caitlyn harming their family (again, now), she wouldn't think twice.

but then i think abt how vi has chosen jinx at the risk of disastrous consequences before (and she does it again after too), in fact, she's chosen jinx above everything - and an enormous part of why she forgives caitlyn is that caitlyn shows vi she understands and respects this before the jail sex scene. i think choosing jinx, choosing family, is an incredibly foundational part of vi's character that she only started dismantling in that very scene: vi chose caitlyn, yes, but in that vi also chose herself.

this is why i feel like at the edge of the noxian camp, having just reunited w/ caitlyn who she no longer really trusts, and left jinx to keep watch of vander at the commune, she'd trust jinx's judgement abt caitlyn (again, seeing how "stable" jinx was in the tunnels and in the commune now that she's w/out silco's influences and w/ isha instead)

if caitlyn simply betrays vi again and doesn't do anything to help, stays aside or remains neutral when singed and rictus attempt to take vander, that's a fool me twice, and vi would blame herself for it. but if caitlyn actively tries to harm her family (jinx/vander/perhaps even isha) now that vi is so close to finally having it back again, i think it would leave vi no choice but to let caitlyn go for good. she might still mourn her after jinx kills her, but she'd know it's for the best since she might think caitlyn had changed too much from the person vi fell in love with and was beyond saving from her own desire for revenge. i think in that moment vi chose family - and in this i can't help thinking of the look she casts caitlyn when she reunites w/ jinx, vander, and isha in their group hug/nuzzle situation

vi also tells jinx, he's your father too, and invites her in, additionally showing caitlyn how she feels abt jinx despite everything jinx has done and you can see the gears turning in caitlyn's head (perhaps loving someone despite such crimes seems unthinkable to caitlyn, but caitlyn didn't grow up in zaun where ppl have to stick together and do what it takes and fight to survive, where no one gets left behind)

it all screams: this is me, this is my family, they're everything to me and they will always come first for me

[countlessofvoids]

what's interesting about hiccup's character that you never see people talk about? as someone who likes him, i also get annoyed by how the fandom sees him and i prefer him in the first movie over everything else.

A lot of things honestly. I have a hard time naming them individualy lmao.

I feel like people tend to take parts of Hiccup's character they like, then mold him into something imitating Hiccup. I see a lot of interpretations where his sarcasm takes up 90% of his personality and/or his entire motivation is saving dragons and killing people as some kind of vigilante. Another thing popular in this fandom that annoys me is taking other characters' traits and giving those to Hiccup.

But what I believe mainly gets ignored, or rather purposefully removed, is him being a 'peacekeeper'. Now, I can't exactly blame anyone for doing this, because continuations after the second movie either ;

1) Completly forget it was a thing.

Or 2) The Narrative actively shames him for it, or turns it into something else. This goes for THW — where it's treated as a flaw of Hiccup's character, then reduced to him "being afraid of change" (And circles back to the whole "Humans bad, Dragons good" message of THW, I could go on about this topic for hours).

The source material itself is not interested in exploring it.

This also happens partialy because fans think peacekeeper means someone who has no understanding of how conflicts work and expects everyone to drop their weapons to go frolic in the fields together. Hiccup gets criticized for trying to find another way, when he has a reason to believe he can change people. I mean, he changed the entirety of Berk. Yes, pursuing Drago Bludvist so you can convince him to join your side when everyone who has more experience with the warlord tells you not to, is not the best decision. But Hiccup is young, he's bound to make mistakes. Besides, events wouldn't alter too much if he did otherwise.

Which is a bit disappointing. I think it could fit with the theme of him being different from everyone else; Looking for a peaceful solution when others want to destroy each other. Another reason why I find this concept intriguing is because I see Hiccup as someone who struggles a bit when it comes to sympathizing with humans, especially hunters. Not as in he intentionaly hates them — he just spent his life befriending animals & dragons instead of people, so now he's spiteful especially towards humans who hurt them. I like to think he still holds even a tiny bit of spite towards Berkians and his enemies-turned-allies (not with Stoick & Valka though, it's complicated with them).

As for why I personaly don't like him in most iterations after the first movie: He's just kinda boring. He goes from a sarcastic loner who ultimately wants to be accepted by others, to 'young movie male protagonist n.1235'. Huge part of that comes from what was done with his design. Second movie!Hiccup has started to grow on me lately. I couldn't care less about RTTE!Hiccup. THW!Hiccup was on the right path, but they chose the worst and most contradictory way of doing it. It could also be the fact he loses relatability for me.

[2demondogs]

I Was Just A Girl, Then | Arthur & John

Tags: John/Abigail, past Eliza/Arthur, and referenced VanDerMatthews; (CW) teen pregnancy (Abigail), canon character death, whole lotta brotherly angst, does it count as comfort if it doesn't work?, vignettes Words: 1.5k A/N: I think a lot about the fact she was only around 18 when she gave birth to Jack. Good grief.

Abigail is too young to look at Arthur with this much— pain. Pain is what it is, and he'd like to think his hesitancy to call it that is entirely because John is his brother, and men should always think their family is innocent.

Her hair is dark and long; her face is round and soft. In the light of the campfire, she looks like a woman he once knew. Shadows cradle her, fall harsh on the side of her belly that's facing the night. Grimshaw will need to alter her dresses a second time, and soon.

"He's your brother," Abigail is saying, throat thick with emotion, and he feels so very uncomfortable. He knows he is. He holds her hands, anyways, the knuckles rosy and chapped with the chill coming over the air in the last month, rough against his palms. She's never had soft hands, none of them have.

The seasons are changing, and so did John. He's been gone for six months.

"You know him. You know the way he thinks, don't you?" She's moved on from hoping, because he's not answered any of her letters. Now, Abigail is grieving. She doesn't know what she's asking, but Arthur does. "Why did he—?" A choke cuts her off before he can.

His face feels tight, almost as tight as his chest. "I used to know him," he says.

This grief is worse than when Abigail began to show, because now it is shared.

He thinks of Eliza, and if some other man held her hands, entirely enclosed in his, while she cried because she was unwanted, because her life had been decided for her by a wanderer who hadn't had to hold up the same burdens. Condemned to what so many girls dream of playing house, but— girls should never be with child. He looks down at Abigail's hands instead of at her face, how the fire catches the tears welling up in her eyes.

She's a strong girl. She wouldn't have survived as long as she has if she weren't, and he knows she will go on for much longer, too. It feels wrong to see her cry, and to feel the shards of heart pulsing through the veins along the backs of her hands whenever he gains the consciousness to stroke a thumb over one.

He's not used to comforting people. Not women, especially, who expect so much more than a clap on the back and a companion to sit out the silence with,the way Hosea taught him was proper for a man to offer, lest he be misunderstood. Never stopped him from treating Dutch how he treats Abigail, now. It seems so much kinder than silence.

Arthur is walking over those shards, and whatever he says could crack them into more. Abigail squeezes at his fingers and he lets her.

"It ain't you, Abigail," he says.

It's John.

She misconstrues what he means, and lets out a small sob of: "I know, Arthur."

Yesterday, Arthur wished they would've hanged him with his father before he had a chance to grow up mean. Today, he told John they should've hanged him when he was still sprouting.

After giving him that nasty, black ring around his eye, of course. He supposes it'd only be fair to give him one in return, brothers in bruises. Hosea seems more sad than anything and Dutch, more or less disappointed. Arthur thinks both are unwarranted, even if they are — as far as he knows — less severe than the anger he deserves for acting out as their son. Lyle would've given him a fresh scar along his face. His chin stings at the thought.

His son is dead.

Eliza, too, but not even grief can lie to him enough to think that they would ever spend a life together. He has little to mourn besides a woman that he wronged and his own pathetic attempts to redeem himself in her eyes, which he knew wasn't possible.

She cried when she saw him at the saloon, wandering through, all those months ago. When he had recognized her and taken her into his arms, she slapped him harder than he thought a woman their age could ever hit. They had dinner. She said he ruined her life and that pregnancy was her worst fear as if it were the weather, all over weeks-old bread that he thought tasted just fine as fresh before she spoke, and started to cry again. Then, it all seemed stale.

Issac's absence hurts differently.

Only men are supposed to die. Not boys, lest they open their mouth the way John has. Mocking him. Can't even shoot a gun let alone— and he's mocking him for trying to be a man.

It hurt because Arthur told himself the same things. He had a handle on things until he didn't, and now the reins have slipped from his fists again.

Issac's fists. They were so small, even though he was growing like a weed. Another month, he would've needed new clothes that Arthur could have stolen the fabric for. He wonders, now and then, how tall Issac would have gotten.

Much worse is another voice telling him that Eliza wouldn't have missed him had he died, because John had spoken it into reality. He had drawn it from the pit of his thoughts the way he always does — how Hosea and Dutch are able to, too, because apparently sleeping in the same camp makes your dreams intertwine and writhe around one another just enough — and he had given it life.

It's the first cigarette they've shared since John returned.

Arthur said they should've hanged him, and then said it twice more in the same week. Old habits die hard. John hadn't found it quite as funny as Dutch had, and neither had Hosea.

Dutch doesn't often realize when Arthur is capable of fratricide.

He's older now, but he isn't. John's nose still has that mean crack to it, scraggly old beard at his jaw, and he looks as much like a kicked dog as ever. Always has looked defensive, and sad. Arthur doesn't like to consider that he's picked it up from him, and that he picked it up from Hosea. The chains that bind suffocate the most when he yanks at them.

John's an ugly sight against the setting sun. He misses when he could tell him as much and John would laugh instead of saying it wasn't very fair. Fair, fair, fair— that's all men care about: fairness. Life isn't fair, so maybe John really is all grown up, because he expects some kind of civility out of a world where people like them die in the streets everyday.

He dreams despite it all. Arthur does not, and that is why they aren't the same.

Surely, they cannot be the same. Eliza cried at the sight of his face, and Abigail fell to her knees. Arthur is nothing like his brother.

He misses John terribly. He misses when he could tell him he was ugly, and when he could push him into the water and feel good about calming the panic in his eyes.

Isn't that what brothers do? Torment and save, over and over? This only feels like one or the other, day after day.

John asked to bum a goddamn cigarette when he proposed a smoke, though he must have his own pack. Arthur was handing it over filter-out before he even opened his mouth. The instruments are out of sync, but the music still plays.

He misses adding onto one another's insults of Dutch's operas, when he first began listening to them. That was only two years ago, but the memory tells him they were both boys yet.

It seems warmer than this summer evening. John's hair is shifty and blue-black where once it looked like it could've been brown when he was born, merely darkened with age. The sun used to show some part of the man that the night couldn't. Anymore he's all midnight, all of the time. And when he looks at Arthur, his eyes are full of shame that he knows intimately and yet not at all.

"She's jus' happy you're home," Arthur says, before he can speak.

John grimaces. "I know."

Arthur likes to think he is not all nighttime himself. Every loathing thought dissipates when he must confront the issue of John Marston, and he finds himself a better man in every way. Beneath the jealousy, he knows he's better in no way at all.

The creek is still from where they sit. Arthur feels the anger build up, and he can hardly swallow it down enough to even his voice.

"I held her hand while she gave birth," he says. Turns to John, and lets the hatred seep into his eyes. "It should'a been you, Marston."

John looks away, and grimaces. "I know."

He could say that she screamed unlike anything he'd ever heard before; that he found very little beauty in the newborn, like Susan had, that he thought maybe he should visit his mother's grave, if he could find it, he hadn't thought of her in over ten years; that he had seen the look on Hosea's face while he wiped the cool cloth over her forehead: disappointment, and not in Abigail.

None of it would change anything.

[summertimesadnessirl]

Because employers lie and tell you stuff like this.

For a while my job was paying me every single business day. That experience made me realize how much of the misery of working low wage jobs is just waiting for payday and worrying about how you are going to make it.

At my first job when I asked why people get paid on friday an old woman told me she thought it was so they wouldn't call in to work drunk the day after payday.

Employers literally think if you get access to your own money efficiently, you will quit or call in sick more.

Banks reinforce this because they make money off overdraft fees.

If you work at a big corporation, they don't pay employees for around 3- 4 weeks for the first time. They claim it's because they can't get everything processed, but if you have a problem with payroll at the same company, they typically fix it within 1-2 business days and the money is in your account.

They don't pay out for that time so you will be less likely to change jobs.

thinking about that time my coworker told me she wouldnt' want to be paid weekly because it would double her taxes.

[goldammerchen]

i think the way to make "nation-person becomes a normal human and has a normal-ish life" fun is to write from the perspective or other nation-people that should be happy for the other but, can't. wishing that the one who escaped their immortality cage didn't, that the escapee was still theirs forever and ever, or unable to not feel envy.

this or, taking away the normal life from the escapee :)

[marwari]

i was just studying for my tester certification exam so maybe that's why i am so fired up and like idk what the sso testing process is BUT IT JUST FEELS LIKE they do NAWT consider their playerbase at all right from the design level like at first i was resolved to be open minded and kind but after riding around for an hour i like the update less and less. do they just not care about accessibility or player satisfaction like omfg this was an insane move

[janamelie]

#This was so hard there's so many interesting dynamics and ones that have such strong potential#Ultimately went with Kochanski and Rimmer though because the parallels fascinate me#Their dynamic was sadly underutilized in series VIII. Cassandra is the best of that series but it replaced what could've been a more complex#relationship between two characters who don't fit in with the universe they find themselves in and the group they're a part of with#Hey what if man wants to bang woman. Hey wouldn't that be funny#Anyways it's completely understandable why Cat and Lister is winning (atm) because I definitely love their relationship too!#Imagine you're a stray that's been (nearly) on your own for years when the guy who is supposed to be your species' god shows up#and takes you in and now you're just best friends. Love that gradual shift in Cat it's very sweet#Kryten and The Cat should have more one-on-one scenes because outside of the mandatory jabs all of the crew take at each other#they seem to be on chill terms and I think that's fun. Both of them should commiserate over the human strangeness of their fellow crew#Both of their relationships with Kochanski are interesting to think more deeply about as well#As much as both parts of Pete blend together and become a dull haze in my mind one post bringing up the three of them doing their own thing#without Lister and Rimmer is so true and funny. Going hands off with that duo as the two get back on their bullshit#Cat seems to also fall into the dynamic with Kochanski of man thinks woman is hot but I think it'd be fun to see him have#some more respect for her in her style than the other humans he knows. And I know Kryten's opinion of her improves when he thinks of how#he can look after her and Lister’s kids but I think it would be neat to picture a more gradual change#that's a much better reason for him to be in the women's section of the Tank than to set the scene for Krytie TV. ugh.#I've already made a couple posts about Kryten and Rimmer so needless to say I think their deal is intriguing#The Cat and Rimmer are as well for similar expressions of their relationship as Rimmer and Kryten even if the reasons differ#Oh god I've noticed how long I've been rambling whoops! Didn’t even get to Lister and Kryten#(though it doesn't even feel like I'd need to get into why I love their dynamic)#or any with Holly (which also have a lot of potential)#Ohh all of the characters make me go crazy. Love them all <3

Good tags. :D

Favourite Dynamic?

Excluding Lister / Rimmer and Lister / Kochanski, which of these dynamics do you wish had more screentime in Red Dwarf? Holly refers to either Holly and Kochanski to either Kochanski.

By "dynamic", I mean either platonic or romantic. Your choice.

[february-academia]

28.04.2023

So much happened this week. (In tags I'll rant about it)

N4 is coming and my prep is not at all good. Took a test today and i failed🥲. But i know my prep is soo bad,it was bound to happen. So have to study for that.

College exams are coming🥹 also have to study for that. The dissertation proposal is in the finalising stage,so that's good. But have to work on it properly imo.

Then i also proposed another research study to my professor and he has encouraged me to go for it. So,also have to work on it.

These very cutu plants in the scorching heat were a treat to eyes and mind.

Got this book from the library and I'm really enjoying reading the essays.

( correction in a tag- she scored less than me in class and she was all sad sad. With her i had to suppress my happiness at moments like these)

[kyouka-supremacy]

Uhm