#they were the only obes here i was able to form a bond with ( i hate this part so much now)and i care abt friendships alot but it ended | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

saturnsummer · 3 years ago

Text

flutter and kicks

notes: from lay's @/__ryubeom tweet + a pregnant solhwi anon ask. in headcanon form since it's more spontaneous!

hello tumblr fam! i know, it’s been long... but ficfest and all has kept me kinda busy. a little different this time! a headcanon after a long time, since it’s more fun and easy on the eyes!

extra notes: drumstick reference to hospital playlist episode 4! a little reference to @scripturiends twitter au “dynasty” at the end. have fun! as usual, grammar mistakes by me!

attorney sol and prosecutor joon hwi have been married for a couple years, now well into their early thirties.

sol and joon hwi always take walks in the parks and wondered what it would be like if they had their own.

sol was initially hesitant, with her experience of broken families and having no dad figure. what makes her think her child could grow up in a loving family, if she didn't have one she could be a role model or look up to?

but joon hwi had it worse, having been an orphan from young, and raised by his uncle, his cousins, aunts and relatives ostracising him. yet, he still believed in the happy family he always wanted with sol.

he dreamt of kissing his kids good morning, sending them to school before going to work and sending his wife to work. on nights, they would work on their kid's homework together in fun ways and tuck them in bed after bedtime stories. they would spend the weekends at parks, meeting with seungjae's kid, and the children of their friends.

sol came round eventually, seeing how joon hwi never stopped believing. this time, it was different. joon hwi is not her father, nor is he her step father. he is han joon hwi, the man that saved her lives multiple times. han joon hwi, the man that stood by her when lee man ho was her biggest threat to her family. han joon hwi, the man who loves her, despite being a klutz in school.

he is han joon hwi, the man that loves her for every imperfection and perfection she has.

sol and joon hwi start trying for a baby, which is especially timely when kang sol's mom asks when is she gonna have a grandchild to hold and byeol pipes up saying she would love to have a brother as opposed to sister. (15 years with sisters have made her wonder what it would be to have a little baby boy in the house instead.)

a few weeks after their first time trying passes and sol has been feeling more tired. she's been busy with case after case at kang and park, so she doesn't think much.

only when she misses her period, she freezes. as stressed as she was, even in law school, she has never missed her period or was late. with shaky breaths, she wonders at the slightest chance of having a little life grow in her, as her hand unconsciously travels to her stomach.

sol is excited, but nervous at the thought that maybe nine to ten months later, she would have a child she can call her own in her arms.

over the weekend, sol raised this to joon hwi. joon hwi stops everything and even though he is beyond excited, he stays calm looking at how nervous sol is. together, they go out to get two pregnancy tests, where sol takes it.

the ten minutes of waiting were a complete torture for sol, as she paces back and forth.

"sol, stop pacing. you're going to burn a hole in our floor."

"joon! what- what if it really happens? i'm not ready! how are we ready? you just started your career in the prosecutor office, and i'm buried under cases! i can barely take care of my mom and byeol and myself, what about the child? oh no, what if i'm a bad mom?"

"honey, sit down. look, we'll get through this together okay? no one is ever ready for their first kid. remember seungjae-hyung? he freaked out the day juyeon-noona went into labour and he's a doctor! it's okay, just calm down, alright? do you want warm water?"

when the timer rings, they look at both the tests, showing the double lines indicating a positive test.

sol was pregnant. sol was going to be a mother. joon hwi was going to be a father. their family was starting.

shaking, sol finally let her emotions hit as her tears fall. she was so caught up worrying about herself, life, her work, family; she hadn't had time to process her own feelings on her own. she wanted the feeling of joy of holding her child. she wanted to know what it was like to share a mother's bond with a child.

joon hwi, looking at his wife, only hugged her as she teared up in happiness. his dream of having a family is finally coming. even better, his best friend, his biggest cheerleader, was next to him.

"what are you crying about? you should be happy!"

"j-joon h-hwi ah... we're going to be parents.."

but their journey was far from over. they booked an appointment with juyeon and made juyeon stay quiet about this. seeing the ultrasound and hearing the heartbeats of their unborn child was enough to move sol to another round of sobs and joon hwi held his wife's hand while the tears ran down his face. together, they smiled, knowing that a life was born and growing.

all could have been hidden, but seungjae walked in that moment, asking if his wife wanted to join for lunch. sol and joon hwi were prepared to lie, but having a printed ultrasound scan in their hands, and the fact that they were in juyeon's clinic, a OB-GYN clinic, confirmed suspicions.

"juyeonnie, do you want to go for— joon...hwi?"

"oppa..."

"ah, congratulations sol. congratulations joon hwi." seungjae only smiled looking at the best people he knew become parents. he recognised the pride in joonhwi's eyes, the same eyes he had when juyeon told him they were expecting.

the new parents smiled at their brotherly figure as they wished them a good lunch.

but out from the corner, yeseul spotted joonhwi and sol as she walked into the clinic and she locked eyes with sol. sol slams the door shut and drags joon hwi back and groans, letting a defeated whine.

"sol-ah, what's wrong?"

"yeseul is here! she's probably here for a regular check up, the one she told me about last month!"

and with that, their phones started beeping with countless notifications.

yeseul could put two and two together, especially when it wasn't just sol, but joon hwi in the clinic as well. she texted her boyfriend, bokgi, who spat out his soup when he was eating with yebeom, who sent a string of messages to the group chat.

when sol opens the door again, yeseul only gives a sheepish smile.

"yeseul ah..." sol sighs and joon hwi only smiles, too happy to hide this secret.

"sorry unnie, i can't miss the moment. congrats unnie, oppa! hello, seungjae-oppa, juyeon-unnie!"

"thank you, yeseul. we'll see you next week, as usual?"

behind them, seungjae grumpily argues with his wife.

"why are my ex-classmates seeing you more than i do? i literally work, like, five blocks down at the police station! they live all over seoul!"

"honey, let me see yeseul first, okay? then let's go get lunch. i heard they are serving drumsticks in the canteen today.”

-----

pregnancy wasn't easy for sol. she insisted on working, despite attorney park's orders to take on lesser cases in court. sol couldn't find it in her heart to reject her clients.

yeseul, working closer to sol, would lunch with her to make sure she eats for the sake of her baby. joon hwi did his best to join, despite sol's arguments to not bother and that she can care for herself.

her morning sickness was bad, and she would wake up giddy and nauseous. many times, joon hwi wanted to call jiho to ask him to cover him, but sol would not let him do it. she'll pull herself together and go to work, and promise to take work lightly.

on days she couldn't get out of bed and she was too tired, her mother would come over and cook her nutritious soups, stock their fridge with vitamins and supplements and tonics for sol.

sol's cravings were also odd. she was never one to like sweets, but she found herself craving sugary cakes, cookies and pastries. joon hwi made it a point to stock their cabinets with cookies and buy a cake whenever he could for his wife.

joon hwi was honestly the best husband anyone could ask for. he helped to tidy the house, clean the house while sol was resting. he made soups and tucked sol in bed on her down days.

sol felt bad that she was being cared for and doing nothing in return, but joon hwi would always remind her that she was already doing the most important job, which is to literally grow their kid inside her.

many nights before bed, they would sit together and their hands would rest on her stomach, as they whisper sweet things to their to-be child.

when sol first felt the kick of her child with joon, they smiled so wide, all exhaustion from reports and arguments in their offices were gone. all that mattered was their child responding.

yeseul was beyond excited, as she helped sol with getting furniture and clothes. the study group came together to help them set up a new cot in their small apartment, as the ladies sat while looking at the men, fixing a cot with much difficulty.

aunty yeseul was the first to buy a stuffed bunny for her unborn child, and sol b, even though she was usually cold, offered to babysit in the future.

eventually, attorney park made sol work at home instead of going to the office. she argued that professor kim eunsook was able to teach while pregnant, but attorney park only said "yang jonghoon's orders" and it was enough to shut her up from any complaints.

of course, professor yang. the only person attorney park really is afraid of and listens to.

when they found out that sol was having a boy, joon hwi was lost in thoughts, wondering if he will grow to be like himself. but sol only placed a hand over his and gave a comforting smile.

"remember what you said at the beginning? whatever it is, he will be of the next generation. from him, it will be different."

they then would discuss how they wanted joon hwi's dimples, sol's twinkling eyes and cheekbones and joon hwi's charming smile.

closer to the due date, jiho stepped in to cover for joon hwi as he started to work half days, afraid of leaving his wife at home. sol, now heavily pregnant, really only commuted to the bed from the bathroom and then to the table, where she would spend most of her time reading or doing something relaxing.

yeseul made sol put her on speed dial with sol b, just in case, and so they would be the first to know too.

the morning came when sol woke up to a wet bed and shook joon hwi awake when the contractions kicked in. joon hwi snapped out, grabbed their hospital bag and guided sol to the car where both of them spent the next day in the hospital as sol went through nine hours of labour pains, and another two hours pushing her baby boy.

joon hwi never left once, standing by her side and holding her hand as she pushed her baby out, wiping away the sweat from her face.

when the time came for him to be held in his mother's arms, sol only smiled, knowing that as tough as the past ten months of working, no caffeine and staying up late nights was, it was all worth it for the little life in her arms.

as his son's hand grabbed onto joon hwi's finger, joon hwi made a promise to love this child unconditionally, to guide him in the right direction and bring him up well. sol was right. from him onwards, it will be different.

welcome to the world, seungjun.

#solhwi #joonsolA #solhwi by akino #kang sol a #kang sol a x han joon hwi #han joon hwi #law school #jtbc law school #law school kdrama #kdrama #jtbc #jtbc drama #original by akinosakiya #pregnant sol a #husband han joon hwi #married solhwi #domestic solhwi #fluff

107 notes · View notes

biberrymuffin · 4 years ago

Text

So, I know a lot of people love the Minecraft AU that people have come up with here on Tumblr and on Twitter and stuff(Especially the one made by @pastatiger here on Tumblr which is really funny and cute and if you haven't yet please check it out). I've been kinda thinking of it less as a Minecraft AU and more of a Twitch Streamer Luz Noceda AU in the back of my mind. But anyways, last night, while I was sleeping, I came up with an amazing spin on the Twitch Streamer Luz Noceda AU,,, Twitch Streamer Camila Noceda AU.

Okay, okay, so hear me out.

After Luz goes off to "camp" (we all know she's really on the Boiling Isles but this would be more focused on Camila and she doesn't know that), Camila becomes disturbed after realizing that her house is a lot more quiet and empty when coming home from a long day of work at the hospital. So, she does what any other lonely, single mother with suddenly a lot more free time would do and snoops around her daughter's room and through her things to try and cope with Luz's sudden absence. Of course, she finds the typical Luz things like The Good Witch Azura Novels, posters, and merchandise, as well as Luz's pet snake and his terrarium(which she is making sure to lovingly take care of while Luz is gone), but she also finds things like half-written in journals (of course filled with The Good Witch Azura fan fiction), sketchpads filled with some of Luz's artwork(with more The Good Witch Azura art but also some highly detailed drawings of reptiles and otters) and hand-crafted sock puppets that strangely look like Camila and Luz themselves as well as a few of Luz's high school teachers, and some old skulls of some dead animals Luz found in some antique shops around town that Camila is mildly concerned about; believing that her daughter may have brought roadkill into their shared home.

Becoming even more curious about the strange things her daughter may have been up to while she was off at work, Camila begins to go through Luz's computer as well. There she finds mostly what she expected, apps like Google, Twitch, Minecraft, Steam, and a plethora of other games that Luz enjoys and would rant about to her mother. But she also spies the OBS app in the corner of Luz's screen and becomes confused, so she clicks on it, finding Luz's streaming set-up. Now Camila knew Luz enjoyed Twitch in her free time, as her daughter would often rant to her about her favorite streamer's she watched on Twitch, but she thought that her daughter was only a casual Twitch user(despite Luz asking her for her help filling out forms when she earned Affiliate on her channel) so her finding her daughter's streaming set-up was a bit of a shock. Unbeknownst to Camila, Luz had gained a decent following on Twitch, mainly of other The Good Witch Azura fans thanks to her fan fictions she wrote and posted online, as well as for her art streams where she drew fan art live, and for playing Minecraft.

During her snooping, she accidentally hits the Start Stream button on OBS and begins a broadcast, causing Luz's viewers to become confused(since Luz is a good streamer and let her viewer's know beforehand that she was going off to summer camp and therefore would not be able to stream for a while). Luz's viewers begin to flood the chat with questions like "Didn't you say there wouldn't be more streams for a while" as well as exclamations like, "Surprise stream!", and "Pog!", as well as more questions when they realize that the person on the other side of the screen is indeed not The_Luzura but an older woman who looks very similar to her. When the chat begins to realize exactly what's going on they freak out and send messages like, "Mom Reveal!" and "OMG it's Mama Luzura!", etc, etc. Camila notices the movement from the chat box on the side of the screen, she then realizes that she accidentally went live and apologizes, to which chat is very forgiving, she then begins explaining what got her to accidentally starting the stream and asks the chat how long her daughter had been a streamer without her knowing. Chat explains stuff to her to the best of their ability and ends up encouraging her to start her own channel and stream in her sudden free time while Luz is off at "camp", to which Camila is hesitant of, but eventually ends up caving and creating her own channel.

She ends up streaming things like Just Chatting where she talks with Luz's viewers who came over to her new channel(which she named Mama_Luzura based off Luz's channel) while she knits, and also gets into cooking streams where she shows off how to make traditional Dominican dishes, and also dabbles in playing some of Luz's favorite video games like Minecraft as of chat's request and also out of her own curiosity and the desire to grow closer with her daughter. She gains a bit of her own following on Twitch, while Luz is off traversing the Boiling Isles, and even makes it to Affiliate, getting donations, and earning subscribers. Eventually it gets to the point where Twitch is one of the only things keeping her happy and going while Luz is away, as well as Luz's "letters" she's been receiving from camp, and it becomes a part of her daily routine to stream on Twitch and to talk with her viewer's in the new Discord server that one of Luz's moderators helped her set up.

When Luz finally returns home from "camp" wearing some kind of cape, with two older looking women with heterochromatic eyes and strangely pointy ears, a group of children she assumes are Luz's friends she made while at camp who also have pointy ears, and a weird looking dog thing with a skull for a head in tow, Camila is to say the least quite surprised. But after noticing that the older woman with the grey hair and snaggletooth looks at her daughter with the same expression she has many times and that the dog-like creature and her daughter's newfound friends all look at her with such fond admiration(especially that girl with the golden eyes and the green hair), she begins to warm up to the strange group of Luz's newfound friends, and learns about her adventures on the Boiling Isles.

She continues streaming even after Luz's return because she quite enjoys it. When chat asks about Luz's strange new friends with the pointy ears, and the dog-creature who can talk? who sometimes pop up in the background of her streams, she just tells them that they're Luz's friends from camp, and that she's happy that Luz was able to find some friends who love her for who she is.

Luz on the other hand, explains everything that happened on the Boiling Isles and even has a few of her friends, like Willow, Gus, King, and (of course) Amity join her streams. Chat believes that they're all just some strange cosplayers, and that King must be some sort of animation, but there are a few viewers who believe their crazy story about witches, demons, and a whole other world outside the Human realm.

Luz and Camila end up bonding over the whole experience and their shared Twitch communities and end up becoming so much closer than they were when Luz was supposed to be sent of to that summer camp all those months ago.

So, yeah, that's basically the idea I had last night. I might write a fan fiction about it, but we'll see I guess. I hope the idea was as enjoyable to you guys as much as it was for me to think up.

38 notes · View notes

peonybane · 4 years ago

Text

Beyond the Veil: Part 1

Pairing: Choi Youngjae (GOT7) x Psychopomp!Reader

Word Count: 8.3 k

Genre: Fantasy, Fluff, Angst, Psychopomp AU, Doctor AU

Warnings: Mentions and depictions of death (I don’t know how to word this as… this is a story about a Grim Reaper), Pining (so much pining)

Summary: Life is a gift. Every Spirit of Death knew this. They weren’t allowed to touch Life — weren’t allowed to experience it. Every once in a while they can, the unspoken rule being that Death can only fall in love once with Life. And never again.

Author’s Note: Thank you to everyone for your patience with me on this. Especially since this was suppose to be a one-shot and I’ve learn my lesson that it is not. Thank you to the platonic love of my life, @ropeseok for putting up with me through this whole process.

If you’d like to notified/tagged when PART 2 comes out, please reblog this part!

White. Sterile. The overwhelming use of anti-septic burned your nose slightly. A hospital. Here you were again. You practically lived here. Though, you supposed there was worse places you could end up as a Spirit of Death. You could’ve ended up like some of your brethren, always seeming to be summoned to battlefields. Or worse….

You shook the thought from your head. No, things could be far worse. Besides, Death was inevitable. No one could run from it. No one could fight it… not really. It was just a matter of how each soul would meet their escort.

You wandered the halls, the humans not noticing you at all. Looking down, you watched as the threads of your dress — thin, wispy grey tendrils, really — swayed and snaked around you, eventually fading away into nothing as they connected to the souls that you’d eventually escort, all varying shades of grey. One of the threads pulsed and darkened — this was the reason why you were here today — you were here to escort a soul.

Wandering around the hospital, you kept an eye on the thread — you had some time before you had to collect the soul. No need to rush being a voyeur to pain and grief.

Instead, you wandered over to the ward that was your secret pleasure: the maternity ward.

Babies were… fascinating to you. After all, most of those you interacted with were the aged and sick. You dealt with the inevitable. But birth… birth was practically magic to you. Despite the tales told by humans, your kind was not omnipotent — you just knew a few more certainties than humans did. But birth… was the greatest mystery of all….

It was the greatest forbidden fruit.

But more than just the babies, you came to this ward for a particular reason: Dr. Choi.

You nearly missed him — his back facing towards you, the white lab coat obstructing his figure before he turned at the last moment. He was excusing himself from a patient’s room, just down the hall from you. You probably would have missed him entirely if it wasn’t for his laugh. The place where you should’ve had a heart gave a small pitter patter when you saw him. He was… so full of life. The dedication he had for his patients. His zest for life. His laugh. He fascinated you in ways you never knew was possible.

He still made you feel the way you had the first time you saw him.

You got lost, actually, ending up in the wrong operating room. As an OB/GYN surgeon, he was skilled as he performed a c-section. What fascinated you was that as he was performing the operation, he kept speaking to the mother, reassuring her of how well she was doing. Even cracking a joke or two when he realized she was starting to freak out.

You were so distracted in that moment, you almost missed getting the soul you needed to retrieve, lest their soul wander free and reek havoc, haunting the world as they looked for their bodies or searched for the Forest.

Dr. Choi (you’d yet to hear his first name, you didn’t want to, you didn’t want to get too attached) adjusted his sterile blue scrubs before he made his way towards his office. You were tempted to follow him, just to watch him from afar… just like you always had.

“If you stare at him any harder, you’re going to set him on fire.”

You jumped at the sound of Jaebeom’s voice. “Dammit, Jaebeom! Don’t do that.”

You turned around, staring up into the dark eyes of Jaebeom, a named Spirit of Death — your brother in some sense. His shaggy, long black hair was pulled away from his face, showing off his piecing dark eyes. He smirked down at you, his stance utterly relaxed under his own Death Shroud, a duster jacket. On his shoulders, his Bombay feline familiar, Haneul, laid across his broad shoulders, her sleek, black fur almost disappearing under the blanket of Jaebeom’s own hair, her bright yellow eyes staring at you sleepily.

“Long time no see, little Morana.”

You rolled your eyes at him. You hated it when he called you that. Though to be fair… you didn’t have a name. None of the Spirits of Death did; instead — they’d take on a title of sorts, using names the humans made up if need be. The only way to have a Name, one that no one could take or abuse, was to live a Life.

A Life which Jaebeom lived to the fullest.

“It’s good to see you, Jaebeom.” You looked around. “Where’s the kittens?”

Jaebeom laughed. He reached into the deep pockets of his jacket and with withdrew his two other familiars, Yugyeom and Kunpimook. The older of the two, Kunpimook was lovingly called BamBam for all the trouble he caused as a lanky, white haired, green-eyed Oriental Shorthair. Yugyeom was a giant, blue eyed, fluffy, grey Maine Coon. Both of them looked at you, almost angrily, having their naps disturbed.

You smiled as Jaebeom passed off Yugyeom to you, the big boy immediately purring into your arms. Jaebeom smiled as he cuddled BamBam in his own arms. “He missed you.”

You smiled a little. You couldn’t hear Jaebeom’s familiars. Only he could. His mind was connected to theirs, their bond cemented when the foursome was human.

“I can tell.”

Everything was silent for a moment. Even the sound of nurses wandering around the ward seemed to have quieted down for a moment. You hadn’t seen Jaebeom for a while. Not since he came back from living amongst humans. You, Jaebeom, and Haneul were inseparable for the first few years after Haneul died, helping Jaebeom return to his previous duties as a Spirit of Death.

“What are you doing here, Jaebeom?”

Jaebeom practically bristled. Well, Haneul did anyways. “It’s your 1,500th year, right?”

You sighed. Of course. That was why he was here.

Yugyeom nuzzled further into your touch, smushing his face into the crook of your arm. Jaebeom continued. “I just... I heard that you were thinking about not accepting Hermes’ gift for once. You’ve always accept his gift before. Do — Do you want to talk about it?”

Sighing, you looked away from Jaebeom, no longer able to meet his gaze. He leaned down to be eye level with you. Haneul pushed off his broad shoulder a little to head butt you to get your attention. “Do you want to talk about him?”

You scoffed. “I’m not in love.”

“Could have fooled me. Besides, I never mentioned anything about love.”

Biting your lower lip, you asked, “Am I actually in love with him? Or do I just want what you have and see him as a means to an end? Either way — I shouldn’t tempt Fate.”

He was silent as he thought about it. “Only you can answer that. But I would give him a chance, either way. I wasn’t sure if I was truly in love with Haneul. But I trusted my instincts. How could I not take a chance when I couldn’t take my eyes off her? How could I not want her with me forever from the moment her gaze fell upon me? Not through me.”

His voice grew softer as he continued. “Our existence is a lonely one. Do you know why Hermes lets us live as humans for just one day every 500 years? Or why we’re allowed to live amongst them for a single lifetime?”

Swallowing, you shook your head. In comparisons to Jaebeom, you were practically a baby. Hermes was distant. He didn’t interact with his… children too much anymore.

Jaebeom stroked your hair, his gaze growing soft and tender. “Because he wants his children to have what he never could: to experience Life. To find companionship. There are nearly a million of us. But each of us is alone; our existence just an inevitable truth. A kindness. A tragic truth. We are alone, even when we’re together. But a lifetime with humans — the memories are fulfilling. We can fall in love —“

Haneul nuzzled Jaebeom, purring. In Life, they were married. For a moment, you wondered if their souls (or at least whatever your kind had) were entwined from the beginning of time. “— We can have a family.”

His gaze fell to the cats happily snoozing in both of your arms. In Life, they were Jaebeom and Haneul’s adopted sons, Jaebeom never being able to father any.

“Please… talk to me. Out of all our nameless brothers and sisters, I worry about you the most.”

Sniffling, you wiped the tears threatening to fall from your eyes, nearly dropping Yugyeom in the process. “I — I don’t want to condemn him. Like you said, our existence is a lonely one. And — And he’s just so full of Life. How could I surround him by death? Human always see us as a horribly dark thing.”

Jaebeom kissed your forehead. “Don’t make that decision for him. Let him choose.”

You opened your mouth to reply, to argue, then you felt the pull.

It was time.

It was time to collect the soul.

As if sensing it, Jaebeom took Yugyeom from your arms again, cradling the two overgrown kittens like babies. Your dress slowly started to change. From the simple dress, your Death Shroud changed into that of a military uniform, the grey threads unweaved themselves then reweaved, forming the new garment as it paled, turning white. Like it always did when it was time to guide a soul.

You no longer felt your body change — you had long since lost interest in the change. Your form changed to whatever the soul needed from you to find comfort. Sometimes it was just your face. Other times you might physically regress back to the form of a child, making the tragic loss a little less painful. At times, you might have ‘aged,’ providing comfort in being a quiet companion in their final stroll. And on rare occasions, your sex would change — a moment of familiarity or perhaps even safety, a small reassurance that everything would be ok — that you were nothing like the monsters they were finally escaping.

Glancing up, or rather, to, Jaebeom, your gaze no longer turned upward to meet his piercing eyes. Ah, probably meant you either resembled someone much taller than you’d normally stand, or your apparent sex had changed.

Looking you over, Jaebeom gave you a solemn nod. “Whatever you choose, little one….”

“I know,” sounding the same to your own ears, but probably vastly different to Jaebeom’s as his eyes widened slightly.

You gave him a casual salute before walking off in the direction of the soul you needed to collect. Glancing around, you tried to catch another glimpse of Dr. Choi. But he was nowhere to be seen. You let out a small sigh, disappointed before you headed towards the intensive care ward.

You phased through various walls until you found yourself in the right place. You could practically smell his soul becoming weaker and weaker. Your gaze following the thread that led from your Shroud, the thread this time at your left wrist, to his right hand, having wrapped around it along his life line.

There, in a hospital bed, laid an old man on a ventilator, his wife sitting next to him, her hand clutching his. His heartbeat grew slower, his eyes glassy. Slowly, you joined the two of them as you stood to the opposite side of the bed of his wife. He let out an exhale as his eyes focused in on you, finally seeing you.

It was time.

Leaning forward, you pressed your lips to his forehead. He took his last breath, his eyes falling closed. The heart rate monitor flat lined; his wife began to sob.

As you pulled away, you grasped his now lifeless hands, gently coaxing his soul from his body. Standing before you was not the withered, old man that laid in the bed. No, instead, it was a man in his prime, adorned in a perfectly maintained uniform and various medals on his chest.

You smiled at him. “On your feet, Captain. It’s time for your next mission.”

He looked around, dazed. He seemed solid enough. At least until he reached out to touch his wife, his hand going right through her. Staring at his hand, he asking you, shakily, “Am I dead?”

Gently, you replied, “Yes,” taking his hands in yours.

His eyes grew large. You squeezed his hands, trying to help him keep calm. “What… What about my wife?”

You glanced over to the woman, still weeping for the loss of her husband as a nurse entered the room. You were not her guide. You didn’t know when exactly when she’d die. But you could tell… she had a few years left in her.

“Do you have children? Grandchildren?”

He nodded. “Three daughters. Four grandbabies with two more on the way.”

You smiled at him. “She’ll be ok. As long as she has them, the rest of her life will be good. Even as she misses you. But you’ll be together soon. You just have to wait for her on the other side.”

He nodded again, slowly. He let go of your hands, turning back towards his wife. He leaned over and did the best he could, kissing her forehead. He whispered, “I love you, yeobo. I’ll wait for you.”

Turning back towards you, stood at attention, saluting you. In turn, you returned the gesture. “Shall we go, Captain?”

“Yes.”

You nodded. At your hip, you reached for your Sickle. Instead of the small, practical instrument that usually hung at your hip, it too had transformed to accompany your Shroud. At your hip was a ceremonial saber. How appropriate, you couldn’t help but think.

Unsheathing it, you admired its elegance. A small part of you wished your Sickle could have been a sword or a saber. Perhaps then humans wouldn’t fear a monstrosity of a sickle, fearful of it taking their souls by force. Taking a deep breath (despite not really needing one) you swung it in front of you, it’s blade cutting through space and time, opening a hole to the Forest.

The portal expanded, the edges shimmering as you sheathed the saber once more. You held your hand out again for him. “Come.”

As he took your hand, almost hesitantly, you led him through.

The Forest. Or, at least, that’s what you called it. Like everything else, it was nameless. But it had to be called something. Some called it Eden. Shangri-La. Arcadia. Xanadu. Yomi. Purgatory.

So many different names… and yet none of them quite correct. Perhaps the closest was Axis Mundi— where Life and the Afterlife met.

Your charge looked around the Forest in wonder as you closed the portal. You were surrounded by giant trees — trees that were sturdy even before Hermes began his sacred duty. In their bark was inscribed with uncountable names, each one belonging to a single soul that’s passed over. Their large leaves overhead provided ample shade, creating the illusion that there was a blue sky and shining sun above you. But there was nothing. It was just an endless void up there.

But that didn’t matter.

Not with the thousands of flowers blooming at your feet and the countless tendrils of ivy and moss dancing across the multitude of trees. Between the trees, you’d sometimes catch glimpses of other psychpomps out of the corner of your eye, finding themselves in comfortable silence with their familiars — whether as beasts or as humans. Wind rustled the leaves above, creating a sweet, comforting melody as it engulfed you in the familiar, loving smell of the flowers that were in eternal bloom. But there was no chattering of squirrels or the jubilant song of a bird, just the sound of leaves rustling and the bubbling of the creek up ahead.

No.

This was no place for them. This was no place for the living — no matter their form.

Your charge turned back to you. “Is — Is this Heaven?”

Smiling, you shook your head. So, he was the hopeful type. “No. This is only the threshold between your Life and what comes after this. Come.”

He followed behind you as you led the way down a very well worn path, the grass and flowers long gone. Even the top soil had been eroded away, leaving an almost polished alabaster stone path exposed. You led him down the path towards a creek, a bridge, born from the over grown roots of many trees, running over it.

“What… What is this?”

“Like this Forest and me, it has no name. But, I suppose humans would think of it as something like the River Styx. It’s a threshold into the Afterlife.”

His voice was strained as he looked between you and the bridge. “What — What comes next?”

You sighed, gazing at him in sympathy. You hated this question. “I don’t know.”

His anger fueled gazed turned its wrath upon you as he cried, “What do you mean you don’t know?!”

“I’m a Spirit of Death. I am bound forever to this plane, this side of the threshold between Life and what comes next. I cannot ever know what is beyond this point. But, I can tell you that you will not cease to exist. There is something after this. I just don’t know what it is.”

He seemed to have calmed down a bit. “Can I wait for my wife?”

You shook your head. “If you wait here, your soul will become restless. You’ll forget who you are. You’ll wreak havoc not only here, but also in the human world. You’ll be condemned to wander for eternity until one of my kind must Reap your soul.”

He glanced at the saber at your hip, understanding your meaning. “And your wife will not have you with her.”

He swallowed, absorbing what you’re saying. “So… do I just crossover? And that’s it?”

You smiled at him, nodding. “Yes. I’ve heard that supposedly, someone will be on the other side of the creek to greet you.”

He saluted you, one final time before he headed for the bridge. You stood there, watching him as he found his footing on the bridge. Your Shroud and Sickle slowly returned to their natural form, your body shifting as well back to its natural state.

As he walked further and further away, he began to glow, his luminosity increasing, a light that almost rivaled the sun until… he disappeared. The thread of your Shroud connecting you to him snapped, the sound as sudden and as loud as thunder. It took you awhile, but you at least no longer jumped at the sound.

Walking forward, you reached your hand out towards the bridge. You stopped just short of it, your hand shaking as you slowly tried to cross over that threshold, muscle memory reminding you that this wasn’t a good idea. And just as it had the few dozen thousand times before, the barrier zapped you, forcing you to retract your hand. You hissed, holding onto your slightly burnt fingertip as you glared at the barrier that now shimmered and rippled.

“I see you still haven’t learnt your lesson.”

You jumped, turning to face Hermes. He stood before you, intimidating and beautiful as always, this form suiting him well… even if the sight of him set you on edge.

Ebony skin glowed, a stark contrast to his billowy white cloak. His hood framed his lovely face as he looked down at you, almost making him appear angelic. And in a way, he was. At least in the sense that humans would think of him. It instead set you on edge when he changed his form to be… more ‘approachable.’ Like everything else here, he had no name — instead choosing to take on various mythical mantles: Hermes, Azrael, the Grim, Charon, Anubis, and so many others. You knew him as Hermes.

From his back emerged a pair of large, iridescent, black wings, the feathers fluttering with the wind. You couldn’t help but notice how a couple of the feathers were barely hanging on, signally that once they’d fall from his wings, new Spirits of Death would rise from them.

Bowing your head, you said, “No, Lord Hermes. But I want to answer their question. Almost all of them ask me the same thing over and over again.”

His deep voice rumbled, “And I wish I could give you that answer. But I cannot. I do not know what lies beyond the Veil. And we will never know.”

You nodded in understanding. The same answer… as always. He continued, “I heard that you do not want to accept my gift. Why is that?”

You cringed. You completely forgot about that. Silent, you hesitated to answer.

He sighed. “What are you afraid of? Is it answering the question of what comes next? Are you afraid of rejection? Are you afraid to Live?”

You shot him a glare. You hated this. Hated that he knew. Hated the fact that Hermes was connected to all of you, knowing your deepest, darkest secrets. All because he shed you as a Feather.

He smirked at you, crossing his arms across his chest. “Ah… I see. You’re afraid to Live.”

You hissed back, “I can’t live! I was never alive to begin with.”

“You are very much alive, my child. You just have to go and discover it.” He waved his hand, a gust of wind spiraled around you. Instinct took over, raising your arms to shield your face from the cyclone of wind and leaves. But still, you glared daggers at Hermes as he took away your choice once more.

Irony dripped from his lips as he muttered, “Happy Birthday.”

—~—~—~—

The sky was still dark in Seoul. The sun hasn’t risen yet. But you could see the sky taking on intense shades of blue and grey — the world quiet and still outside of the temple you found yourself in.

With a groan, you stood up from the cold wooden floor, goosebumps rising on your skin uncontrollably. You shivered. At least when you weren’t masquerading as human temperature never bothered you.

“Ahh. I thought her vision didn’t sound quite right. I’ll go get you a different set of clothes.”

Turning around, you came face to face with the caretaker of the temple, a young priest. Slightly bowed, his obsidian black hair barely hid the darting of his eyes, looking everywhere but you. He was dressed in a simple, traditional hanbok as he stood there, a pile of red clothes in his arms.

Ahh…. A seer must have mistaken you for some other kind of spirit. Some sort of Pyro or Asmod if the colors and style were anything to go by.

The priest continued to look everywhere but you. You tilted your head in curiosity before you remembered — oh, humans and their modesty. Glancing down at yourself, you noted breasts and the small patch of hair upon your mons pubis. Oh, good. At least this time you’re in your preferred form it seems.

Clearing your throat, you said, “Thank you, Priest — ?”

“Jinyoung. Park Jinyoung.”

You smiled at him, covering up yourself as much as possible, for his sake. You didn’t particularly care. “Thank you, Jinyoung-ie. And yes,” You glanced at the clothes he held tightly in his hands. “I would like a different set of clothes.”

He gave you a curt nod before scurrying off to get you something more appropriate.

You sighed.

24 hours. 24 hours of being human. The last time you were human… you were in Venice. Boy was that an interesting time with the Renaissance and all. Had… had it really been that long?

There was a knock on the door. This time it was a girl’s voice. “Grim? I’ve brought you your clothes. I’d also like to apologize for the mistake in my vision.”

Grim. Out of all the things humans called your kind… it wasn’t the kindest… nor the most horrendous.

“Come in.”

The door opened and a girl entered, her gaze was to the ground as she held a bundle of light grey clothing. She looked young, perhaps no older than 20. Certainly not of the age to know exactly what she was seeing in her visions. She had no control of what she’d see. She would probably just be finishing learning how to identify various demons and spirits from her visions if you had to take a guess.

She knelt before you, laying the clothes on the ground before bowing. “My name is Chaewon. I’d like to apologize, Grim. It was my mistake that my brother brought you the wrong type of clothes.”

You picked up the bundle of clothing, starting to dress yourself. “There’s no need to apologize. You’re the youngest seer I’ve seen in a very long time. I’m curious though, what did you see?”

Chaewon looked down, her face flushed and she turned red all the way to her ears. Oh?

Her voice shook. “I... I saw a man. He was naked. His face covered in shadows. And he made,” she paused, turning even redder before she continued, “a noise. A very… happy noise.”

“Oh.”

You felt your own face heat.

You may have lived for well over a millennia, but you still had some sense of shame. Or at least hers made you hyperaware of your own. As you finished dressing, you replied, “In that case, I don’t blame you for thinking I was an Asmod. A vision like that… I don’t know if I would have chosen any differently.”

“But I should’ve —“

“How old are you?”

You knelt down in front of her, your simple cotton dress pooling slightly around you as you knelt to get down on Chaewon’s level. She finally looked you in the eye. A small thrill went through you — the Living never looked you in the eye.

“Seventeen.”

Just as you thought. “You’re young. Younger than I would have expected. Despite your age, you interpreted what you saw well. If you saw sex, anyone would assume that it were an Asmod or some other daemon.”

She did not look reassured. You continued. “Do you what my kind typical do on our one day amongst the Living?”

She quickly shook her head. You smirked a little.

“We wander. The one day we’re allowed to interact with the Living, we tend to do what we did before: observe. Perhaps, we’d join in on festivities. Perhaps, we spend the day at a park, watching children play. Perhaps, we play with them. But sex? Sex is not something we are particularly interested in. You interpreted correctly.”

She didn’t say anything, but you knew she understood — that she didn’t make a real mistake. She interpreted what she saw correctly. But what she saw… concerned you. Why? Why you would you have… sex? It was such a… human activity. Your kind, especially those who had yet to live a Lifetime, didn’t understand it. It wasn’t like you could reproduce, so it never really made sense to you.

Your quiet moment was broken by Jinyoung clearing his throat. You looked up at him, he had changed into ordinary clothes. “Grim? Please let me know where’d you like me to take you. I’ll take you anywhere in the city.”

Standing up, you nodded. “Thank you, Priest. Lead the way.”

You made your way past Chaewon, following the young priest down the hall. He brought you to an entryway, several cubicles lined up with shoes. He indicated for you to take a pair. As you sat down to slip on a pair of black, flat ankle boots, he rejoined you. When did he disappear?

In his hand, he held a bag. “These are for you, Grim. Inside you’ll find money and other amenities you’ll need.”

You took the bag from him, looking at the contents. “I’m surprised you’re able to give me this much. Especially since I’ll only be here a day.”

He shook his head. “The Guardian Spirit of this temple makes sure that when you return to the Veil, the things we gave you find their way back here in due time. There is no need to worry.”

Smiling, you nodded. You stood up, ready to follow him. Nodding, he lead you out to a car. It wasn’t the fanciest car in the world, certainly not one of those sports cars you never bothered learning about. But it looked well taken care of.

Jinyoung opened the passenger side door for you. You nodded to him in thanks as you slipped inside. After shutting your door, he quickly made his way to the driver’s side.

After a brief explanation on how and why you should be wearing a seatbelt (How were you suppose to know that, at the very least, you could get him in trouble if you didn’t wear one?), he drove you out of the temple.

“Where would you like me to take you?”

Biting your lip, you hesitated to answer. Did you want to see him? Or did you want to avoid him completely. Before you could completely think it through, you found yourself replying, “Jung-gu. Near the hospital.”

He made a small noise of confirmation, taking you towards the district.

—~—~—~—

The drive was longer than you had expected. Who knew Seoul traffic was so congested?

Glancing out the window, you caught a glimpse of yourself for the first time, nearly jumping out of your skin. Normally, you had no reflection. The rare times you’d ever see your own reflection would be if you caught a glimpse of it mirroring you in the creek back in the Forest. Staring at yourself in the passenger side mirror, you couldn’t help but touch your face, brow knit together in concentration.

“So it’s true then.”

The sound of Jinyoung’s voice made you jump. Phoenix farts, why were you so jumpy lately? Turning to him, you noted the smirk on his lips and figured that behind those sunglasses his eyes were full of mirth.

“Is what true?”

��That you don’t see your reflections.”

You swallowed. “Rarely. Very rarely. Even when we do… they’re not quite as… solid as they when we’re occasionally human.”

He made a small noise of understanding, turning his full attention back on the road. Outside of the car, for a brief moment, between the shadows of buildings, you caught a glimpse of the hospital. It was an unusual feeling, but your heart thundered in your chest. You couldn’t tell if you were excited or scared. A part of you wanted to beg Jinyoung to take you somewhere else in the city. Anywhere. But another part of you, the stronger part, wanted to be there, to be near him.

All too soon, Jinyoung pulled into a parking space. You struggled for a moment, thinking that just tugging on the seatbelt would set you free before putting two and two together that there was a button. Heat flared up in your cheeks out of embarrassment — such an unusual feeling, not one that you’re sure you’ll ever get used to, you don’t think. Stepping out of the car, you politely bowed, ready to walk away from Jinyoung.

It’s a shame really… even as a human you would have been able to see the thread wrapped around his hand, following the pattern of his life line if he was a soul you were to collect. You would have liked to speak to him once again.

“Saja-nim!”

You paused. There was one you hadn’t heard in a while. A rather polite one at that. “Yes, Priest?”

His gaze was almost painful as he looked you in the eye. It was unnerving really — having someone looking directly at you like this. With utter certainty, as if he just knew, he cryptically said, “I look forward to speaking with you again.”

Before you could inquire further as to exactly what he meant, he reached across the passenger and pulled the car door shut and practically shot out of the parking space like a bat out of hell. What a weird priest.

Stepping away from the street, you took in your surroundings. The sun was out, filtering through the buildings of Seoul, this part of the city still relatively quiet though, still just early enough for most people to have not quite left home for work. It was peaceful. It was Life. And you could close your eyes, take a deep breath, and take it all in — truly take it in.

A piercing cry of “COCO-YAH!!!” broke your peace and quiet.

Turning towards the voice, you lost your footing as small white ball of fuzz on four legs bolted towards you, or rather, attempting to bolt past you. Attempting was the operative word. As you teetered backwards, sort of regaining your footing, the almost panicked ringing of a bicycle bell was the only warning you got before making eye contact with a startled bicyclist.

If you weren’t fighting instinct, perhaps you would have moved. But time and time against, you never had to worry about moving — danger would just move right through you.

But not now.

No, your brain had shut down in shock. Of course you would get hurt the one day you were human.

Before the cyclist could collide with you, you were harshly pulled out of his way. Instead of someone colliding into you… you were the one doing the colliding.

Foot catching on uneven cobblestone, your center of mass shifted, your body landing against a very warm, soft, yet very solid body, nearly taking him to the ground.

A sweet voice, one that sent shivers down you spine — one that you almost dreadfully recognized — asked, “Are you ok?”

Hesitantly, you looked up, holding your breath, trying to imprint this memory of his warm hold on you forever into your skin. When yours eyes met… you finally understood what Jaebeom was talking about.

You were absolutely and utterly fucked.

It was the moon-like face you’d seen from a distance more times than you could count. Except unlike the moon, he was close enough to worship with your lips if you tried. From afar you had always thought he was handsome, but up close, he was deadly — the combination of soft and sharp features were too tempting and dangerous.

Your eyes flicked for a moment to his lips, his breath faltering for a moment across your face before you dared to finally look him in the eye.

Definitely fucked. Hopeless fucked, really.

His eyes were gentle, in spite of their sharp, intense shape. So curious. So full of concern. And there was something else. You had seen it before, though you couldn’t place it where. All you knew was that you could get lost in those eyes… and happily so.

The spell was broken as his large wire-framed round glasses slowly slipped down the bridge of his nose. You pulled away from his hold, regaining your footing as you cleared your throat, hoping to buy another moment to clear your mind. Get a hold of yourself, you said you wouldn’t get involved with him. But, oh, the thought was so very tempting.

Your voice cracked. “Ye — Yes. Thank you for catching me.”

He nodded, wiping his hands on his pants, almost unsure of himself. At your feet, a couple of small barks got your attention. The little white dog from earlier was at your feet, barking, her little tail wagging as she gazed up at Dr. Choi.

Dr. Choi exclaimed, “COCO-YAH!!!!!” as he picked up the little, almost contrary, cotton ball.

Lifting her up to eye level, he asked, “Yah! What was that for? I lose my grip on your leash for a moment to grab the mail and you just bolt? No! Don’t you try that sweet act on me, you spoilt, little princess.”

He sighed in defeat as she wagged her tail, tongue flicking out to lick his nose, his face scrunching up cutely in response. You couldn’t help but laugh as he brought her in close, coddling her even as he continued to look exasperatedly annoyed.

He turned his gaze back on you, his eyes soft as he took a moment to wet his lips. He held his hand out to you. “I’m Choi Youngjae. And this little, fluffy, white hell spawn is Coco.”

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck—

This was the last thing you needed. You swallowed, a poor attempt at controlling your breathing. You placed your hand in his.

“It’s nice to meet you.”

There was a pause for a moment before Youngjae — no — Dr. Choi (he had to stay as Dr. Choi), smiled gently at you. Bending at the hips, he lowered himself just enough so he could tilt his gaze up to look up at you, a small smile on his lips as he cutely asked, “And what is your name?”

The usual spike of anxiety that would come with this question never came. Instead, automatically, almost as if you had answer this questions hundreds of time like a human, you gave him a name.

Not Morana. Nor Saja. But an actual name. It was… your name.

He repeated it quietly to himself. It struck you like lightning. This must be the feeling Jaebeom told you about so many times but never understood.

For a moment it was silent between the two of you. You wanted this feeling to last, whatever it was. You had never known such an inner warmth. What you wouldn’t give to have him whisper your name once more.

Of course, Coco had to ruin the moment, having had enough. She started wriggling around in his hold, desperately wanting to be free to reek havoc like she had before. Dr. Choi sighed, bending down further to place her back on the ground. A firm hold on the leash this time.

As he straightened up, he looked at you shyly from behind his glasses. “So, umm, where are you from? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around here before?”

You swallowed. Never in a million years would you have thought you’d have to answer such a simple question.

You blurted out, “Visting! Umm, just for the day.”

“Well, umm, I guess I should let you get back to it then. I’m sure you must have plans.”

He went to turn, his shoulders slumping. “No!”

Dr. Choi turned back to you, eyes wide and eyebrow raised at your outburst. More calming you repeated, “No. Umm, actually, I don’t have plans. Despite wanting to come here for a while now….” You laughed out your response, “I have no idea what I’m going to do now that I’m here.”

A moment of clarity graced his features before the brightest smile you had ever seen revealed itself.

“In that case, how would you like a local to show you around?”

A smile found its way onto your lips. “I’d like that very much.”

He offered you his hand. You hesitated, glancing between the soft and dexterous hand and his hopeful face. “I know a great dog friendly cafe near by if you’d like to join me.”

You found yourself squeaking out a reply, barely above a whisper, “I’d love to.”

You placed your hand in his and for a moment, you swore sparks flew. His palm was warm, a stark contrast to your own chilly one. Dr. Choi gave a small laugh. You glanced up to him, brows knit. He licked his lips almost nervously before he shyly replied, “It’s just something my mother used to tell me: the kindest, most caring people are so worried about everyone else that they don’t even notice when their hands are cold.”

For some reason… him just saying that… it created a pressure in your chest, an almost overwhelming feeling, as if you were a pitcher ready to overflow with emotion. It was… it was gentlest thing anyone had ever said to you.

You felt the tears threatening to overflow, but you kept them hidden. After all, why would anyone cry at that?

All you could do was purse your lips as you look down at the ground, half-heartedly nodding your head, hoping that it was enough to hide the emotion threaten to escape. If Dr. Choi noticed, he didn’t say anything. He simply made a hum of acknowledgement, squeezing your hand before gently tugging you to an unspecified direction.

Little Coco couldn’t seem to make up her mind on whether or not she wanted to be carried or to lead the charge. Either way, Youngj — Dr. Choi — seemed to give in to her each time, never letting go of your hand no matter what. Coco was in his arms when she realized where we were and she started swimming frantically in the air, barking excitedly.

You couldn’t help but giggle as Dr. Choi sighed in defeat, setting the little hellion on the ground as she tried to mush her way through the people trying to go about their lives as she focused in on one target: MeongMeong Cafe.

The little cafe was on the ground floor, almost tucked away between the buildings, the light pastels and sepia tones a strong contrast to the grey buildings around it. The sun rise hadn’t quite yet turned this part of the city golden, the tones still a cool blue, just waiting to be woken by the spell of the sun. But that little cafe, with its little picket fence surrounding a small area of grass and it’s sepia shingles waiting for the sun to bring them to life, was already bustling to life inside. The cafe owner you presumed, was running about inside, setting up tables for the day and placing bread in the display cases.

As you approached the cafe, through the window, you saw the cafe owner look up, a look of surprise graced his features before a gummy smile took over as he opened the front door to the three of you. “Youngjae-yah!! Coco-ssi!! Welcome back!”

Dr. Choi returned the warm greeting, letting go of hand for a moment to wave at him, leaving your hand almost unbearably cold. “Hello, Mark-hyung! How’s it’s going?”

Coco’s barks suddenly came more rapidly as she pulled Dr. Choi after her even harder as a small (but most definitely larger than Coco), white poodle looked around the corner of the door. The shop owner, Mark, muttered something as he looked down at the dog at his feet, prompting the dog to sit down at him feet, its little paws tapping in excitement as it sat there.

Mark shook his head with an exasperated sigh, smiling slightly as Coco continued to lead the charge towards the cafe. “You know how it is, Youngjae-yah. But that’s besides the point.” His eyes twinkled mischievously. “Who is this lovely lady?”

Your face flushed with heat and you couldn’t help but look down at your shoes. Youngjae — no, Dr. Choi — gently entangled his fingers within your own, giving your hand a very gentle squeeze in assurance. He introduced you to Mark. “She’s from out of town and I’m giving her the local’s tour of the city.”

Mark’s eyes crinkled in the corner as he shot you a smile. “Then welcome to MeongMeong Cafe.”

You muttered your thanks as Dr. Choi led you inside to a table in the corner.

Sitting down, you noted that the cafe was the same on the inside as it was on the outside with pastel and sepia colors furniture all over the place. Nothing was a matching set it seemed, almost like repurposed yard sale items, but all dog friendly. In the corner of the shop was a blackboard, the menu items scrawled across it in different colors with their prices trailing after it.

Mark wiped his hands on his apron before pulling out a notepad from his apron pocket, the poodle (while Dr. Choi affectionately greeted as ‘Mimi’) following him, seemingly waiting for a command. He shot Dr. Choi an almost pointed look. “The usual for you and the cottonball, I take it?”

Dr. Choi glanced sheepishly at you before turning his gaze back to Mark. “Yeah.”

Mark hummed his understanding and jotted it down then turned to you. “And for the lovely lady?”

Your insides clenched in anxiety? What did you want? You looked past the two of them at the chalkboard covered in what felt like hundreds of choices. Did you want something sweet? Savory? Salty? Sour? Did you like bitter? 500 years was a long time between meals.

Dr. Choi placed his hand over yours, grabbing your attention. “If you’re up for it, I suggest the mocha latte and the croissant of the day.”

Mark piped in, “Which is Eggs Benedict, by the way.”

You swallowed looking between the two of them. “Um, then I will go with that then.”

“Alright then. Come on, Milo.”

Mark smiled as he jotted down your orders on his little notepad before making his way back towards what you supposed was the kitchen, Milo hot on his heels. You turned your attention back to Dr. Choi and you found yourself shrinking in on yourself, blushing under the intensity of his gaze.

Is this what it was like to be human? Is this what Jaebeom felt like? To feel constantly overwhelmed?

“Since you mentioned that this was the first time in Seoul for you, where do you live?”

For a moment your reply caught in your throat. Nowhere, just a forest between life and death.

“Busan! Yes, it took quite a while to get here.”

Dr. Choi smiled. “Ahhh. An overnight train ride then. I love Busan: the architecture, the food!”

You couldn’t help but giggle at that. He leaned back in his chair as he hummed. “And the people, so it seems.”

You knew that wasn’t true, but nonetheless, heat rose to your cheeks like an inferno. Youngjae — no, stop it — Dr. Choi asked, “Tell me about what you do for a living?”

Yeah… ‘living.’ Laughable.

Chewing on your bottom lip for a moment, you thought on how to answer it. “I’m in the family business.”

Dr. Choi sat forward, interest piqued as Mark returned with two coffees on adorable little plates, decorated with watercolor paw prints. “What does your family do?”

Before you could think better on it, you spat out, “Funerary services: cremations, burials, wakes, and the likes.”

Mark… poor Mark paused, his expression unreadable before he quietly excused himself. Dr. Choi on the other hand surprised you; he laughed. You stared at him, jaw slack and brow knit.

“I’m sorry…. I shouldn’t have laughed. I found it ironic. You give souls their final farewells while I welcome them into the world.”

Again, your heart gave a stuttering tap as a tsunami of emotion washed over you. How could he know the words you needed to hear? Or at least the ones that made you feel real at the very least. You took a sip of your coffee to try to distract yourself from the squall of emotion in your chest, only to hiss as you burn your tongue.

Dr. Choi is immediately at your side. “You ok?”

You touched the back of your hand to your mouth, looking away. “Yes, I was just being stupid.”

He laughed again and you couldn’t help but shoot him a pointed look. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. Just that, some times watching you do things is like watching a child discovering something new for the first time.” He smiled down at you sweetly. “I think it’s endearingly adorable.”

Your throat felt try and your face hot and your chest felt heavy. Adorable? You? You looked away from him, trying to appear as if his words didn’t do anything to you. As if your attention was taken up by something else on the far side of the shop.

But out of the corner of your eye, as he raised his own cup of coffee to his lips, there was a twinkle of mischief and mirth in his eye. Taking a chance, you lifted your own cup to your lips, blowing on it before taking a tentative sip. Immediately you hummed in appreciation. It was delicious.

Mark came back over with another set of adorable plates, one was your croissant (looking absolutely delicious covered in Hollandaise sauce) and Dr. Choi’s waffle. From the pocket of his apron he produced some sort of gourmet dog chew setting it down on the ground for Coco to try to conquer. You thanked Mark, who gave you a gracious but overly exaggerated bow before he excused himself.

You turned back to Dr. Choi as you mentally went over a game plan on how to tackle your delicious looking (and smelling) food. “You said you welcome souls into the world. What do you mean by that?”

You knew what he did. Did it count as stalking if you’re not alive and they’re just a form of entertainment between reapings? But you had the forethought to be mindful of that. You didn’t want this illusion to burst by muttering something suspicious.

He hid a small laugh as he took a bite of his waffle. “You promise not to laugh?”

You mimicked the way he cut into his waffle, the same way with your croissant, albeit it didn’t go as smoothly as his. “Promise.”

He took a moment to chew, almost thoughtfully before he said, “I’m, uh, well… I’m an OB/GYN. I deliver babies.”

You smiled at him as he tried to hide his blush behind shoveling food into his mouth. Barely above a whisper, you replied, “I think it suits you perfectly.”

He shot you a brilliant smile, looking away from you as his cheeks began to glow a nice shade of pink. As you sat there in the golden hours of the morning, you admired his features, realization dawned on you.

You were hopelessly in love with Youngjae.

Want more like this? Check out the following:

STAR-CROSSED, a science fiction series with Jackson Wang of GOT7

As always, reviews, comments, asks, and tags are always loved! ~Peony

Also, please note that I do NOT do tagging lists. Please see my FAQ for why.

GOT7 Masterlist

Masterlist

#got7 #got7 youngjae #youngjae #choi youngjae #youngjae got7 #got7 fluff #got7 angst #Beyond the Veil #BtV #peonybane #got7 jinyoung #got7 jaebeom #got7 bambam #got7 yugyeom #got7 mark

14 notes · View notes

mrs--wheels · 3 years ago

Text

I made a human.

Yes, I made a human. I gave birth to a baby boy! Here’s my birth story: On Wednesday July 14th I went for my routine 36 week OB-Gyn checkup. At that visit they did a sonogram and everything looked normal, baby was in the 46th percentile for size. The Dr. checked my cervix and I was 2 cm dilated already. My blood pressure was high, which it had been for 6 weeks, but I did not have preeclampsia (yet - I was borderline.) The Dr. took me off work and said if I did not deliver by next week Thursday July 22 I would need to be induced. My blood pressure was causing really bad swelling everywhere in my body, but especially my calves, ankles, feet and wrists. I weighed 251 lbs at the checkup, about 55 lbs heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight. So I went into work with my disability form all filled out and basically peaced out, said goodbye to a few of my coworkers and my boss, and I ain’t lookin’ back. I went home, much to my husband’s surprise (he was working from home that day.) I’d like to say I enjoyed the last week of my pregnancy but that’s not entirely true. I was in terrible discomfort, especially my pelvis: I was having bad pelvic pain & pressure, so bad I could barely walk. The night of Monday July 19th I could hardly walk up the stairs to my bed, it hurt so bad. I did have surprisingly restful night’s sleep that night, which was good because of what was to come... At 5 am on Tuesday July 20th, I rolled over in bed and felt a wetness. Unsure if I peed myself or if my water broke, I went into the bathroom. Clear fluid was running down my legs, and it didn’t smell like pee. The puddle on my sheets didn’t either. I called the OB-Gyn’s office from the bathroom. and the Dr. on call told me if contractions started on their own to head into the hospital. If they didn’t start on their own, head in anyway but wait until after 8:30, 9 am. So I took a shower, made some toast & a banana for breakfast, and unloaded the dishwasher. Around 6 am I had my first contractions, but they weren’t too strong and they were about 7 or 8 minutes apart. I woke up my husband and told him I thought my water broke, and I was having contractions. He leapt out of bed and into the shower. As I lay on the bed waiting for him, the contractions were coming closer together (4-5 minutes apart) and getting stronger. My husband got dressed and I called my mom. She said she’d meet us at the hospital and we grabbed the overnight bags and diaper bag and went straight to the hospital. My husband drove like a panicked maniac, and I was gritting my teeth in the passenger seat with every contraction. We got to the hospital and I refused to let my husband get me a wheelchair, I wanted to walk in on my own. I had a contraction in the parking lot and barely made it to the 2nd floor to Labor & Delivery. By now it was around 7:30 am. They took me into a triage room for a workup, I changed into a gown, and a nurse put the fetal heart monitor on me. I got to listen to that little galloping horse heartbeat, nice and strong. In came a Dr. and 2 students, they did a history on me and after a very uncomfy pelvic exam it was determined I was 8 cm dilated and fully effaced! (The student who first checked me said I was 4 cm... the actual Dr determined it was 8... kind of a big difference!) The contractions were pretty much on top of each other by now, only a minute apart. I was moved straight into the delivery room, without stopping in a labor room first. This was at around 9:30 am maybe? I got to 10 cm in less than than 2 hours, and ready to push. I didn’t even have a hospital bracelet or an IV, things were moving way too fast. The Dr. showed up fully gowned, and they got me on the table and ready to go. This was the first time my mom was able to see me, she’d been waiting over an hour, since I was expected to be in labor a lot longer! I was ready to push at just before 10 am and I was absolutely terrified, I was so not ready. I had a birth plan packed in my overnight bag. In it, I requested an epidural. I wanted pain meds, to be able to sleep and rest during labor... My husband brought his laptop, we had a bluetooth speaker ready to play music in the delivery room... All of this was shot right out the window. I was terrified of the prospect of pushing, terrified of the pain. I felt like I had to take a massive poop, and even screamed “I’m gonna poop!” in the delivery room. My mom and the Dr were like “Just do it! That’s the baby coming out!” I pushed maybe a dozen times? Twice for every contraction. I squeezed my husband’s hand and felt my mom’s hand on my forehead. I was drenched in sweat from head to toe and shaking like crazy. They told me not to scream, that I was wasting energy I needed to funnel into pushing - but, like, ok, it hurts! I was hurling 4-letter words (and I never swear around my mom,) and gripping onto the back of the pillow under my head (which didn’t help the poor nurse still trying to stick an IV in my arm - they blew a vein in my left hand and ended up putting the IV in my right wrist - normally I’m bad with needles but I was in so much pain I didn’t even care.) The fetal heart monitor wasn’t working anymore, because the baby was moving down the birth canal. The excess skin & fluid on my lower abdomen made it difficult to get a reading, so a nurse was literally pushing the monitor hard into my belly, while I was trying to push at the same time. Eventually they used an internal monitor, this thing that looks like a cattle prod that attached to the top of the baby’s head, under the scalp, through the cervix. Luckily I didn’t know that had happened until after he was born. After about 15 minutes of pushing, and my poor crying husband looking like he was about to pass out (he hates seeing me in pain.) I gave birth to a baby boy at 10:14 am. It’s the most bizarre feeling in the world: like I was a bottle of champagne and he was the cork. I could feel everything since I had no drugs, the baby’s head and shoulders popping out and the gush of fluids afterwards. I did need a few stitches, I had a second degree tear, but I never felt that or the placenta being delivered. The whole room was in a flurry, there was at least 1 dozen people there - the Dr, an instructor, several students, nurses and my mom & husband. I was the talk of labor & delivery that day: the first-timer who came in at 7:30 and had a baby less than 3 hours later. The baby was put right on my chest after he was born. I had my eyes closed pretty much the entire time I had been pushing, but I opened them when I felt that warm, wiggly little baby on me. He was absolutely beautiful, rosy pink and screaming. My husband said he was born with his eyes open, arms and legs flailing, and a very healthy set of lungs. He scored a 9 on his one-minute Apgar and a 9 on the 5-minute too: the highest score you can get! He weighed 6 lbs, 8 oz and was 20.25 inches long. My husband cut the cord (squeamishly) and my mom and him just gushed over this perfect little guy. I was exhausted but exhilarated, I felt triumphant! I had given birth with no drugs, all natural, and made it out to tell the tale. I had no idea my body was capable of that, but it knew more than I did.... We (me, my mom, and my husband) were able to stay in the delivery room for 2 hours after the baby’s birth. We finally agreed on a name (well, I proposed the name and wouldn’t take no for an answer - after all, who had just given birth anyways?) We decided on Owen Paul. Owen because I love the name and it means “warrior”, and Paul after my brother who passed away 19 years ago. It somehow fits him perfectly, he looks like an Owen. He’s got beautiful red-gold hair that swirls on his head, and dark blue eyes that I’m hoping stay that color. I was able to start nursing him right away (my nursing journey is a story for another time, though...) and we were all able to bond. It was a wonderful experience, and it is true what they say: you forget all the pain once you lay eyes on the little miracle. Maybe it’s the huge rush of hormones that causes this amnesia, but it really is true. I’d do it all over again!

I’ve lost nearly all the weight I gained during pregnancy, since it was pretty much all baby, placenta, amniotic fluid and the fluid that was blowing me up like a balloon. I’m not in any pain, even with the stitiches. I only took a few Tylenol the first couple of days, I guess I have a pretty high tolerance! I’m feeling good, all things considered, and healthy. It’s nice not to have that constant pelvic pain anymore. Owen is going to be 2 weeks old tomorrow, and it’s been a huge adjustment (an obvious understatement.) The days are long, but the years will be short - everyone tells me that. It’s frustrating, and miserable and so so so tiring. But they are only babies for such a short time, I plan on enjoying every minute of him! He’s the best thing I’ve ever made.

#tw: birth #tw: medical #my birth story #personal

1 note · View note

thedragonslibrary · 4 years ago

Note

Hi, do let your spirit companions help you astral project? If you do. What exactly do you do first? Do lay still and wait for more than 30 minutes to be pulled out?

Hi there! I noticed you sent two asks about astral travel right in a row, so I wanted to cover both of them in one post!

To answer your first question, there are several terms in regards to astral travel that can be really confusing. Everyone tends to have different definitions for them (such as the terms “projection” and “travel” being highly interchangeable), so let me explain the way I use these terms:

Astral Travel is any form of non-physically visiting a place outside your body. This can be somewhere on Earth, or somewhere else.

Out of Body Projection, or OBE (Out of Body Experience), or Astral Projection, refers to having the sensation of “leaving your body” (or being pulled out, as you mentioned in your ask here), and traveling somewhere else. It’s a very immersive experience. For this reason, it’s considered the “golden standard” for astral travel, and for some reason it’s the first thing beginners jump to when learning how to astral travel. I assume this is because it’s been popularized by woo-woo spiritual gurus selling books and guided meditation programs. However, it’s the most difficult form of astral travel, and can take years and years of dedicated daily practice to attain fully. It’s also extremely exhausting. When people report doing OBE frequently (as in daily) on social media, I am usually highly doubtful that they are actually doing it - this is how outside the scope of regular astral travel it is. I do not perform OBE because I personally consider it to be relatively dangerous in comparison to other forms of astral travel, and I have chosen to put my time into other fields of study in regards to my spirit work.

Bilocation is a form of astral travel that feels extremely similar to daydreaming. This is the simplest and easiest to attain form of astral travel. I know several practitioners, including myself, who are able to bilocate while performing other menial tasks such as washing the dishes or walking. When bilocating, astral experiences are slow and muddy, and they are not fully immersive. A conversation of a 10-15 seconds in the astral can take 5 minutes here, especially when bilocating, because your brain has to work overtime to process things.

Meditation or trance work is another way you can attain astral travel. When entering a trance, you may feel vibrations behind your eyes, or generally feel sleepy or separated from reality, but you do not fully step outside of your body. For beginners, I frequently recommend looking up guided meditations on YouTube that specifically relate to Astral Travel - they are free, after all! I recommend looking up ones that specifically mention in the title visiting a “forest” or an “ocean” - actual places that they will envision you walking through. I also know that another conjurer has recently made a series of guided meditation videos specifically for spirit workers - I haven’t tried their services myself, but if you’re willing to put forward a little bit of money for a small business, you might want to check out Meditation Grove.

You can do as many or as few of these techniques as you like. I tend to most commonly perform bilocation, with meditation as a hard second when I have the time and spoons to sit down and actually devote upwards of a half an hour to the session.

However, there are two big things I always like to point out to beginners when first trying astral travel:

You will not see things with your physical eyes. This is something that kind of gets lost in the conversation when you see people talking about astral travelling, and especially spirit work. They are not experiencing the things they are experiencing with their physical eyes, hands, nose, ears. If they are, they were likely born with that ability and have been hearing or seeing things with their physical eyes their entire lives. So expecting to do so automatically causes you to disqualify yourself from whole other worlds. We are experiencing these things with our mind’s eye. If you want to participate in astral travel, you should be working on basic visualization exercises and techniques, because you will be using these mind muscles to absorb your astral experiences.

Additionally, you may notice, once you astral travel, that you cannot get the full picture in one moment. When I astral travel, I often notice small visual details first, like someone’s lips, and then I hear the words. The senses come to me one at a time. Others I’ve talked to describe their astral travel experiences like a movie - something they are watching in third person. Either way, this is not how you would experience our physical, Earth world.

Your experience will not be like anyone else’s. You can’t base your own goalposts on the experiences of anyone else. While I’ve given you some general ideas of the different kinds of astral travel, it’s up to you to tell yourself that you’ve gotten there. When you start, you may be only able to astral for a few minutes at a time, and work your way up to maybe an hour or two. I don’t recommend pushing yourself, but if you end up being able to astral for a really long time, that’s great! But don’t give anyone else the agency of being to tell you what you are and are not experiencing. Ultimately, you should be your own judge of success, and you should be the one to choose to believe that what you are experiencing is real. As I mentioned, some forms of astral travel feel very similar to daydreaming. This is where discernment comes in, in testing the boundaries of the astral reality and seeing where they lie for you.

To answer your other question, yes, spirits can help you astral travel. However, you should already be clear on how to communicate with a spirit first - you don’t want some random spirit whisking you away to a random part of the astral. This should be a spirit you know and trust and have a strong bond with. And second, you should not rely on a spirit for astral travel. The most they should do for you is guide you to a place they want to show you, rather than pulling you out of your body. Since you already know how difficult it is for you to “leave” your body willingly, I’m sure you can imagine how painful and dangerous it would be for a spirit to remove you from it forcefully.

I’ll leave you with a couple links, the first is a masterpost made by a friend of mine who compiles resources for beginner witches and spirit workers. The second is another masterpost of resources made by someone who’s not active on Tumblr anymore, but whose experiences were crucial for me as a beginner witch and someone learning to astral travel. Please read through all the articles available here - they may help you to reorient your own expectations and give you some base groundwork for astral traveling!

spiritconnect’s astral masterpost

duskenpath’s resource masterpost

Best of luck, and happy travels!

#astral travel #astral #meditation #bilocation #astral projection #lightofseraphicpearls

17 notes · View notes

autumn-foxfire · 4 years ago

Note

So like i think its important to acknowledge the context here for some of this. The context being that between chuuya being introduced and us getting chuuyas backstory its been A WHILE. Like for a good while i used to joke that they were really wasting chuuya cuz they had a fan favorite character who we had like no information and backstory on. Like i wanna say its been at least two years between chuuya introduction n backstory but honestly im terible with memory n even worse with time progression so all im gonna say for a very very long time the fandom didnt know shit about chuuyas backstory. The most we got in guild arc was the hint that kouyou was his mentor n of course that he n dazai formed the ace in mafias sleeve n for a long while that was pretty much it. Fans ran wild with that n everybody had their own headcanon n there were a lot of fics exploring his possible backstory. From him being a french (flashbacks to french chuuya era) immigrant/ child trafficked for his ability to him training to work in kouyous borthel (that was a popular headcanon for kouyou but i dont think it has any base in canon) until they discovered his ability and were like oooo this baby dangerous. My favorite was anything that included kouyou just picking up a half feral kid chuuya n being like ahhh im keeping this, mine now. Feral Chuuya gives me life n i still like to read about it. The point being when chuuyas backstory came out it was going to have to contend with A Lot of fan content some of which was really really good.

Anyway i dislike the whole oh there was a god shoved in him when he was a kid bit. I wont stick to this a lot cuz im honestly past the point 'ugh this is So stupid' n to the point 'i dislike it but i also dont really care' but ye, im not super big fan of throwing gods around so randomly cuz i feel bsd isnt really built with that in mind, n i considered that whole part a really boring explenation to corruption and eh, im not gonna pretend that the fanwork didnt influence me n that i might have liked it better if i didnt read so much speculative fanfiction cuz it really comes down to 'its not like in my headcanons so i hate it :/'n thats p much all there is to it n thats no fun to talk about.

I did like sheep parts tho loved dat.

No what im here to talk about is how KOUYOU GOT FUCKIN ROBBED. Like we barely get any chuuya kouyou interactions anyway despite her being shown as his mentor like how mori was to dazai n kouyou herself really only had time to shine with kyouka n like this was the perfect oportunity to explore her more. She was shown as chuuyas mentor from the start, she was included in every fanwork that included chuuyas backstory, if ur gonna do chuuyas backstory you need to have kouyou there she is his mentor after all

Nope nope what do we get instead

FUCKING RANDO SAN

LITERAL GUY NAMED RANDO

Like ok fine u needed a villain for the novel thats fine, make it the person who tried to grab chuuya out good good great BUT WHAT WAS ALL THAT SHIT ABOUT FUCKING RANDO SAN BEING THE ONE TO RECRUIT CHUUYA INTO MAFIA. WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT CHUUYAS FUCKING HAT BEING RANDOS, WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK WAS THAT SCENE OF CHUUYA SITTING ON HIS GRAVE LIKE FUCKIN DAZAI WITH ODA

WHAT THE FUCK

I will not stop yelling

Like honestly it made me so upset. I dont mind fucking rando san as a villain or whatever but i do mind him kinda being pushed into the spot of chuuyas mentor (whos kouyou) or recuiter (whos dazai) n him being tied into his character so significantly like the tradition of a mentor giving their student something is obvs a big thing in mafia what with dazais coat n all n it just made me so upset that chuuyas hat was given to him by some fuckass named rando n not kouyou. Or that rando seemed to impact him so much to be considered some sort of great influence when he p much just busted him out n then dazai did all the work. Like it just made me so upset that this random one but villain named literally rando was shoved as an important figure in a story of a character whos backstory we've been clamoring for so long when kouyou was literally right there like 'hi im here ready to be relevant forever.'

Like we already got a nice view of her with kyouka what with her wanting to protect kyouka but being willing to let her go wgen she sees thats the best for kyouka n that she will be happy n protected with the agency. Like i doubt she would be as protective with chuuya since their age difference is a lot smaller (4-5 years i think) so shed probs view him more as a friend or a younger brother than a literal child she has to protect but like i wanna see that i want them to have a bond, why hint at her being his mentor n then do nothing with it when mori is of such significance for dazai.

Like i think all this comes down to is obe of primary problems i had with bsd n one of the reasons i ended up growing tired with it: bsd really likes introducing new characters n new groups while at the same time doing very little with ones it already introduced if they arent like atsushi akutagawa dazai n sometimes kunikida n chuuya. N like that just gets boring after a bit i dont care about new evil group no 65 i care about the characters i already know so BLS DO THINGS WITH THEM BLS

...I’ll be honest, I didn’t notice that Kouyou was supposed to be Chuuya’s mentor. Did I just miss that in the anime or something? I didn’t know they had a bond at all.

As for Chuuya’s backstory, I also... didn’t really mind it either. I know the god part was a bit random but I also thought it was kind of fitting that Chuuya’s ability, or a part of it?, was born from something out of this world. It really does fit the “corruption” theme too, in my opinion, in the sense that his body has been corrupted by a god and it would also explain why his body isn’t able to handle the body too.

I also thought that the point of Rando being the one who “gave” Chuuya his hat was symbolism of Chuuya finding a piece of his past because of him and that’s why he visited his grave (almost as a silent thanks in a way). Plus I think it was another one of Dazai’s manipulation to get Chuuya into the Port Mafia, he knew he would never accept a belonging given to him by Dazai (he even pulled a face when he heard that Dazai, as his recruiter should be the one to give it) but when he learned it was Rando, a person who while had attacked him but had also helped him learn a tiny bit more about the god inside him, made accepting the hat more easier for him.

At least, that was my take on it.

I am a little disappointed myself about the lack of attention some characters have recieved compared to others (cough Kenji cough) and I wished they were given a little more, but I also understand why new criminal groups are introduced as bsd wants to draw a stalemate between the Agency and the Port Mafia.

I guess this a matter of different opinions XD

#bsd #thanks for the ask!!#thegaygyrus

1 note · View note

monokrxme · 5 years ago

Text

obe | kim namjoon

what would you do if you woke up in someone else’s body?

••••••••••••••••••

I can say this now after finishing the promotions...I felt powerless.

But we said to ourselves, like a spell,

"We should be happy"

"We have to smile"

I said that to the members over and over again,

"If we don't, our fans will lose their drive, and their passion"

Well about the concert...

It's tough I feel powerless. We prepared a lot of things in order to focus on us. We practiced incredibly hard. We feel frustrated.

This time, I feel so sad and frustrated for not being able to see you all in person.

It was tough...

It will be tough, for the time being, but....

I love you.

I love you deeply,

I love you all so much, to the furthest extent of what I know about love and what is possible...

•••••••••••••••••••••

I sighed softly as Namjoon ended the VLIVE with a soft "I love you all" and his signature good-bye kiss to ARMYs. I exited out the app, going through my app notifications and turning off the ones from Twitter for the night since those always go off the most while I'm asleep.

Once that was finished I plugged my phone in on the charger, set it beside my pillow and rolled over onto my right side, snuggled in the blankets as I tried to go to sleep.

But that was the issue. I couldn't.

Namjoon's words kept ringing in my head and I couldn't help but let my eyes shed a few tears; they too were so upset and frustrated that they could not show ARMYs everything that they had prepared for this long-awaited comeback.

Due to the rampant spread of the COVID-19 virus, many countries have taken precautions in order to prevent the spread of the illness. Some of these precautions have included limiting travel in and outside of said countries, as well as a limit or cancellation of public events in an attempt for people to avoid large crowds.

Because of this when it came to performance shows, artists had to perform without live audiences. To know that the boys missed ARMYs as much as we missed them tore my heart apart.

They have always given their all for ARMYs and have often been much too hard on themselves if they felt they had "failed" or disappointed us in some way. We always did our best to reassure them but BTS always felt the need to try harder for us in an effort to redeem themselves. It was as if they wanted to reaffirm the strong bond that ARMYs shared with them...

If only they knew truly how much we loved and supported them. Mistakes and all.

I sighed heavily as my heart filled with discontent at the thought of the boys being unhappy, but they were human too and were entitled to their emotions and desires just as much as anyone else was.

Hell, ARMY would argue they deserved the entire world and then some, fuck, the entire damn universe. I smiled softly at that thought, me being one of the millions of our beautiful family who also believed this and allowed my eyes to close as my eyelids grew heavy and droopy, sleep washing over me slowly like an incoming tide.....

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

.......it felt lukewarm to the touch. Comfortable and inviting as it enveloped my body and slowly drew it from the shore and into the wide expanse of ocean......

......it was quiet, the nature kind of quiet, where you hear the soft lull of crickets and night bugs calling to each other, the distant hoot of an owl, prowling for its next meal, the gentle ocean breeze caressing the skin that was exposed to the air, whistling softly in my ears......

.......my nostrils tingled at the sharp, salty scent of the ocean, my body rocking to the rhythm of the baby waves that carried me further away from the shoreline.......

Y/N: 《Well this is lovely, my dreams have never looked like this before.....so calm and serene...》

My eyes flew open as I realized I had spoken this out loud to myself, though softly, as if not to disturb anyone. And by anyone I meant the delicateness of the quiet solitude that enveloped me ever so generously.

It was then I also realized that I was no longer in the comfort of my bed at home, but actually floating in the middle of the ocean, which had drawn me out several hundred yards away from the shore. My heart started to pick up speed in my chest as panic slowly set into my mind, my sense of reason and calm collectness fighting against it viciously.

Y/N: 《Don't panic Y/N. Nothing good comes from panicking...the real question is how I got here in the first place...?》

I thought this to myself as I swallowed nervously, my mouth having built up saliva quite suddenly from my anxiousness.

And yet, just as quickly as I had felt the lump of panic forming in my throat and my limbs growing rigid from fear, it was immediately washed away once my eyes glanced up at the sky.

It was a breathtaking sight; not a single cloud in the sky, the color of a deep, rich blue-black ink, splattered with millions upon millions of twinkling white stars, like dazzling jewels that shimmered in the sunlight. But what was most stunning was the moon; it was full and shining magnificently, the white gleaming starkly against the soft hues of the gray that scattered its surface, a soft moonlight cascading down gently to sparkle on the surface of the water.

I was so enamored by this astonishing nighttime scene, as if it were something out of a movie. A rom-com to be exact, where the moonlight seems to bring out the deepest, hidden desires of intimacy that the protagonists yearn to share with one another. Even though those scenes were cheesy, they were always my favorite ones and always managed to bring a tears to my eyes.

I smiled softly, allowing my eyes to languidly follow the moonlight's path, basking in its afterglow, when my eyes widened in shock and disbelief; where the light ended exposed yet another floating body in the water. This person was also still, but since they were a couple yards off, I couldn't tell if they were conscious or not.

Instinct kicked in and before I knew it, I was swimming towards them, with a purpose but not to disturb the tranquility of the atmosphere around us. For all I knew, even if this was a dream, if this person awoke in a panic they'd drown in seconds. Once I did manage to catch up to them, their body had floated out of the moon's glow, thus their face was obscured in the dark where the light couldn't reach.

Keeping my legs in motion underwater to keep me afloat, I gently grabbed this person's hand and slipped my other one under the water to firmly grip their ankle and pull them into the light to identify them.

It was as I crept closer to the light I realized I was nude. Stark naked. And so was this person, who I was able to see was a male, and you can assume why.

With a burning cheeks and a flustered state, I finally managed to pull this unknown man into the luminescence of the moon. When I looked at his face my heart stopped, literally, it was as if the wind were knocked out of me and I had forgotten how to breathe.

It was none other than Kim Namjoon, otherwise known as RM of BTS. Naked. Wet. And glimmering in the limelight of the moon, in the middle of an ocean that I wasn't even sure was real or not.

It was suddenly very cold as a wave of goosebumps crawled across my flesh, the blood roaring in my ears as I stared at him, wide-eyed and in awe, my heart thumping crazily in my chest as fast as a hummingbird's wings.

Y/N: 《T-There's no way.....I MUST be dreaming. There is no way in hell Kim Namjoon is floating in the middle of the ocean, naked at that, in front of me...》

I hugged my arms to cover my exposed chest, my body shivering as a cool breeze blew through, lifting some of Namjoon's hair up and away from his face. My heart fluttered momentarily, which I tried to deduce as being a fangirl's-heart-flutter, but I couldn't help but smile softly; he looked so peaceful. Calm. Serene. Without a concern, worry, or responsibility on his mind. His dragon's eyes now delicate slits as his eyes fluttered slightly behind his closed eyelids, his cute little button nose looking bedazzled under the moonlight, his plump, luscious lips, parted slightly as he breathed softly in his slumber, his toned chest rising and falling with each rhythmic inhale and exhale.

Without a thought I quietly took his hand that had been floating listlessly by his side; despite the water having gotten cooler, his hands were warm and inviting. His long, delicate fingers and large palms set on elegant wrists.

It was, as soon as I my fingers grazed his, that his eyelids fluttered open.

Our gazes locked and my heart stopped momentarily once more, but this time, began beating again, slowly and deeply. The sensation overwhelmed me, but in a good way. I wasn't scared, but rather tranquil, as if a huge, unknown weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

His fingers, unexpectedly, interlocked with mine once he sensed my hand in his through the water. I felt this instant shock throughout my entire body, pinpricks of electricity sparking at my fingertips and flooding throughout my body with a soft buzz. He inhaled sharply, which told me he felt it too.

When our eyes meet, something unfamiliar flashed across his gaze, as if he knew me but couldn't remember who I was.

Y/N: 《That's impossible. He's not going to know who I am. He's an international superstar a part of the biggest boyband in the world right now. I'm only a fan out of millions more, he won't----》

NJ: Y/N?

My eyes widened in shock as I heard Namjoon's voice fill my head, cutting off my thoughts.

But before I could ask him how he knew my name, I felt my body being submerged under the coolness of the water, a bright white light flooding my vision and then..........darkness.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

My eyes shot open again as I gasped for air, my arms waving frantically in front of me as I tried to catch my breathe.

My heart was hammering in my chest as my breathe came out ragid, as if someone had just resuscitated me after drowning. I sighed heavily as I felt my hair was drenched in sweat, dripping down the back of my neck. I rubbed my face with my hands momentarily when....

Y/N: 《These.....aren't my hands....!!!》

My eyes shot open, my heart stopping momentarily as I held "my" hands in front of me.

I was right.

My hands were smaller and more pudgy/slim, not these large, palms with....with delicate fingers......on elegant wrists.......

I leapt out of my bed, feeling an.....appendage that has never been there before, hit my leg, my hand, even though it wasn't mine, flying to cover my mouth in shock and disbelief at the sensation.

Y/N: 《Was that a...I mean my.....di-?? No. There's no way. I must still be dreaming. That's right, I just need to go along with it that's all, maybe even throw some water on my face to wake the real me up....yeah, that'll do the trick....》

I straightened myself out and inhaled deeply, walking towards an open door that I only presumed was the bathroom. Luckily I was right and walked in, leaving the light off for a few minutes as I washed my face, since I had just "woken up." Then, reaching along the right-hand side of the wall to find the switch, my fingers latched onto it, flipping the notch upwards, allowing light to flood the bathroom.

I raised my eyes to look in the mirror, half expecting to either see myself or this made up person my dream turned me into while I was actually still sleeping, like I believed.

I had to cover my, well his mouth to stop myself from screaming out loud.

The person staring back at me, in all of his fine ass glory, was none other than Kim Namjoon. Tall, dimpled, long hair and all.

With shaky hands I grasped the sink countertop and leaned forward, blinking several times to see if the reflection staring back at me would change.

Nope.

I even tried pinching myself, well him, until I brought tears to my-his eyes, the pain blossoming across my-his skin......

《The fact that I could feel the pain already explains it.....I'm NOT dreaming....this is real.....yet so fucking unreal......how the FUCK did I end up becoming Kim Namjoon???? IQ 148 genius? Dance Prodigy? Talented rapper, writer, producer, and composer? Leader of the Bangtan Sonyeondan???》

......................

《Could it have been---???》

Then it dawned on me. Memories of the "dream" I experienced last night flooded my mind. The ocean. The night sky. The moon. Seeing Namjoon's body, swimming to him, bringing him under the moonlight. Holding his hand. He woke up and our eyes met, electricity sparked when we touched and then I was suddenly deep under water and there was this flash of white light and-

"Now I'm here," I said out loud, but it wasn't my voice, but the deep, sultry tone of Kim Namjoon's.

I licked my- well Namjoon's lips, nervously.

"D-Did we-?"

Y/N: 《Switch bodies?》

#bts #kim namjoon #namjoon #namjoon one shot

4 notes · View notes

themoonandotherslikeit · 6 years ago

Text

The Daughter of a Righteous Man- Chapter 1

*SEQUEL TO THE LOOK IN HER EYES*

After her husband is drug to Hell, Ava Winchester and her brother in law Sam try their best to do right by Dean and raise her daughter, only to find that good intentions aren’t always enough. Loving someone isnt always enough.

Chapter One, Tranquility in the Face of Pain

Ava

"You need to get up."

"Mmm. I'm never getting up." I said, snuggling closer to Dean. I could hear his heartbeat under my ear. My head was on his bare chest.

"You have to."

"You're not my boss." I said, kissing his skin. He smelled like leather, pine, and whiskey. I could drown in the smell. "Mmmm."

"What?" He asked softly.

"I want to remember this. The way that your skin smells. The way that your heart sounds."

"You're such a girl." He whispered, twisting his fingers in my hair.

"I am." I breathed. "You've never complained before."

"I'm not complaining." His lips pressed into my hair.

This is what it was like. It's what I imagined heaven to be like. Dean and I just twisted together, breathing each other in. An endless warmth. Where he ended I began, and I, in turn, bled back into him.

I never believed in marriage, because I didn't believe in love. I didn't think there was a person I could love enough to give half my life. I was wrong. There he was. The man to whom I gave my whole life. My soul belonged to Dean Winchester.

Now he was dead.

I opened my eyes slowly, blinking, startled by the light. "Hey." Sam said softly, he was holding my hand.

My head pounded, and I could hear beeping and the itch of hospital sheets. I reached for my belly in alarm. Tiny monitors were placed on it. "Sam?" I croaked.

Even though I knew he wouldn't be there I still searched the room with my eyes. The stillness of the room made me almost faint again. That's what happened.. right?

"Hey, Shh. You're okay. The doctor is still running tests, but she's worried you're preeclamptic."

His words made my breath catch in my throat. "The baby... she's..."

"She's okay. The doc already gave you something to help her lungs grow in case she needs to come early."

I sat up slowly, Sam placing pillows behind my back. The room was spinning. All the headaches, dizziness, and cramping were leading up to this. I didn't tell anyone. I risked her life.

My eyes widened. "Dean..."

His mouth curled down and he took in a shaking breath. He held out his fist to me, and lowered it into my flattened palm.

When he moved his hand I saw small metal circle right above my life line. His wedding ring. I curled my fingers around it, feeling a swell of pain roll through me again.

"Hey." Sam said, alarmed. "Doc mentioned to keep you calm, because the stress... it's making your blood pressure off the charts. You have to stay calm."

I met his eyes. Not quite as green as Deans, but still familiar. They were dilated, full of love and concern. "How can I do this? I... What about a funeral? Will I even get to say goodbye?"

"I'm going to bury him. We just need to see what happens with you and Peanut."

The ring seemed to burn hot in my hand. "Bury him? He wouldn't want that. A hunters funeral..." I couldn't say it. Burn his body. His body. He isn't even in there anymore. Because he is in Hell. Burning for real.

"No." Sam said sharply. "He's going to need that body for when I'm finished." He stood up.

"For when you're finished with what?" I asked, alarmed.

"I have to try, Ave. I think you know that. You're right. You need him here. I'm no replacement for Dean."

"Sam that's not what I meant." I stuttered, not able to disagree with him comfortably. I needed Dean, but I knew what he would want, and it wasn't that. I grabbed for his hand, catching his fingers in mine.

He turned to look at me.

"Here." I said, pulling his hand to my stomach. Peanut was kicking. I placed his palm against her foot and watched his eyes widen. He looked like a child.

"That's amazing."

I closed my eyes hard.

"That was a kick." I said with a smile.

His green eyes met mine. They were wide. "That was the craziest thing I've ever felt."

"Tell me about it."

He sat up, and put his hand on my stomach. "Do you think she will do it again?"

"Probably." I shrugged, sitting up a bit.

He stared at my stomach impatiently.

"Maybe if you talk to her?"

"You think that'll work?"

I shrugged again. "Worth a shot."

He leaned down and put his face near my rounded belly. "Hey little one. I'm..." He swallowed hard. "I'm your Dad. I just wanted to say..." His eyes flickered to mine, and I gave him a smile of encouragement. "I wanted to say that I love you more than anything. I don't say that lightly, either."

He patted my stomach and placed a small kiss on it. "You know you've got the best mom, right? She's so beautiful, and loving. She makes some damn good spaghetti." He grinned widely. "She will be the kind of mom that cooks you dinner. Like real dinner, and not McDonalds or a roadside diner."

He rested his forehead against my belly, lost in his conversation with our daughter. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm sorry that I won't get to see you grow up. I never wanted that. I wanted to be better, but I guess some things are fate no matter what we do. Just know, baby girl, that if there was a chance to be with you and your mom I'd take it, because you're my life."

I sucked in my breath, trying not to cry, and Peanut must've felt the same because I felt a little pressure and watched Deans eyes light up. "She kicked me right in the forehead!"

"Little fighter already."

My heart was broken, but I wouldn't forget the promise I made to him to take care of Peanut. I put my hand over Sams. We were a family. This was all we had left.

I watched Sams face as he fell in love with my daughter. He was taken with her immediately. We were bonding over our loss. We couldn't live without him, but we had to try.

A swift knock came to the door and Sam backed away from me, his hands folded together. "Yes?"

It was my OB, Dr. Dominic, she had a kind smile and her graying hair was pulled into a bun. "Good, Mrs. Winchester, you're awake."

"Please, Ava." I smiled.

"We will need to keep an eye out on your condition. It's very important that you stay calm." She sat on the edge of my bed. "Sam told me what you've been through. That you lost your husband suddenly. I will not let you lose this baby, but I need you to fight with me. Try."

My eyes stung and a knot grew in my throat. I was choking on it. She said it out loud. I could hear my heart rate pick up on the machine.

"From now on this room will be a tranquil zone." She put her hand on my stomach. "We need to keep the little one in there cooking as long as we can."

I nodded. I couldn't breathe from my pain in my chest, from the crack in my heart.

"Let's take a look." She lifted my gown and nodded to a tech that I didn't notice enter. The tech rolled the machine over. Dr. Dominic put the jelly on my stomach and rolled the wand along my skin. "There she is."

Sam grabbed my arm in shock. I watched the grainy picture form a beautifully made child. I wondered if she looked like him. If she would have his glowing green eyes. If she would inherit his love for pie, and his large toothy smile. I would keep it together for her. For the little piece of Dean I had left. I slid his ring onto my finger even though it fit loosely. I looked to Sam just as a tear rolled down his cheek.

He knew just as well as I did that she was our number one priority. She would keep us tied together. She would keep us from falling apart.

Sam

I couldn't get the image of my brothers baby on the monitor. The sound of her heartbeat fluttering away.

I would do anything to protect her, and her mother. They deserved to have Dean back. We all did.

She was asleep, cuddled in pillows to support her large round frame. Her foot hung out of the blanket, a pillow tucked between her legs. I smiled. She was beautiful. Even more so pregnant. Dean had always thought so.

"Stop staring, dude, you're creepy."

"It's not creepy." He frowned at me. "She looks amazing."

"You're different now." I commented, noticing his relaxed expression.

"Yeah, well."

"Love does that I guess."

"It isn't love." He said sharply, even though his raised eyebrows told a different story. He looked at her like he looked at the Impala. He couldn't believe she was his, and he did a bad job hiding it from the moment he found out she was pregnant. From the moment he found out he would be a father.

I clasped his necklace around my own neck, tucking it into my shirt. "I'll make you proud." I promised him. I crept out of the room, slowly shutting the door behind me. He wouldn't forgive me if I succeeded, but he at least he would be there to be mad. At least he would be alive.

—————————

It seemed to be in our nature, as Winchester's, to do things that are unwise. Specifically to take care of the ones that we love. My brother never said goodbye to me. He never told me that he loved me.

We just weren't that kind.

Large flurries of snow fell from a dark sky. December had come in before we even knew it. It was almost Christmas. The ground was hard, and frozen. I dug my knife into it, forcing it to break. Begging it to. I clawed at the ice until my fingers bled.

I begged it to open up for me. "Come on!" I shouted into the night sky. The flakes fell into my hair. It was in my eyes, hanging in my face.

I dug, forcing my fingers into the hard dirt. I broke it a bit, taking the knife and wildling away at the hard ground.

The hole was shallow, but it would do well enough. I laid my box within the hole in the center of the cross road. I pushed the icy dirt over the box, and looked to the sky to say the summoning.

I shouted into the night again and again, until my throat burned. I fell forward, my forehead touching the snow covered ground.

"Sam." A woman's voice said, a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to find a dark haired woman crouching in front of me. "They're not coming."

I didn't recognize her, but there was something about the familiarity of her touch, and the flakes in her eyelashes. "Ruby?"

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there."

"Sorry that Lilith sent you back to Hell."

"I broke a nail clawing my way out." She said with a wink. "Stand up, Sam."

I met let her pull me up, standing a good foot taller than her. "I want to make deal."

"No. There's no deal. Not for you."

I pushed away from her. "You're a demon! Right? Right!? Don't you want my soul?"

"Oh Sam." Ruby shook her head. "Not just from me. No one can deal with you. Lilith has other plans. I'm sorry."

"You have to help me save him." I said, grabbing her biceps.

"There is no help for him, Sam. You're smarter than that." She said, slapping my hands away.

I stared at her, her breath visible in the frozen air.

"Maybe I'm not."

"There are so many bigger things at play."

"Like what?"

Ruby folded her arms across her chest. "They don't tell me shit. I'm crafty, but I'm not exactly included in what Hell has planned. I just wanted to tell you to stop. Don't bother. You can summon all you want, but no one will come."

"He was going to be a father. He will be a father, and Ava deserves to have him here."

"Well he's not here." Ruby snapped. "You are. He would want you to keep fighting. To get stronger."

I narrowed my eyes. "What are you saying?"

"Let's send some bitches back to Hell. If they won't help you then we will get rid of them." She smiled something sinister, and I was reminded again who she was. What she was.

As tempting as it was, I could still see Deans eyes. The disappointment. “No more demon blood, Sam. There's another way. I won't let you be a monster."

I couldn't. Not like that. I wanted him back, but not like that. Not unless I had to. Not unless there was no other way.

Ava

Sam was gone. He left in the night the first night I was in the hospital. and I hadn't seen him since. Bobby was around, he brought me flowers in an old bottle of whiskey.

"You look good." He commented awkwardly.

He brought me some clothes. One of Deans shirts, stretched tightly over my belly long with a pair of stretchy yoga pants. One of his flannels. It smelled like him. I closed my eyes, pretending he was there. "Finally got to shower." I said dryly.

"I brought everything you asked for." He said adjusting his hat.

"Thank you."

He handed me a bag with pink butterflies, and tissue paper out of the top. "You got me a gift?"

"Eh, it's no big deal."

I smiled and lowered myself into the bed, sitting down the bag. I pulled out the tissue paper piece by piece. "Bobby." I breathed as I pulled out a deep red baby blanket. It had white lace edges. The yarn was soft but clearly old. "What is this?"

"It was your mom's when we were kids."

I laid it on my belly. Her first blanket. "I didn't shop enough. I was too worried. My baby bag is pathetic." I sucked in my breath of avoid tears. "Have you heard from Sam?"

"I'm sorry, I haven't." He sighed. "Idgit needs to come back."

"He doesn't want to be here. This isn't his family." I said resting my hand on my stomach. "Even if I thought he wanted it to be."

"These boys are complicated. I warned you of that." He said with a sad smile.

"You did." I pressed my lips together. "But I didn't listen."

"You were meant to be a Winchester. So stubborn."

"Speaking of stubborn Winchester's." I said folding the blanket. "Have you spoken to John?"

"He left too. Didn't even see..." He stopped and looked down.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "He would be so disappointed."

I spun his wedding ring on my finger. I needed a better place for it. A chain. A way to keep him close.

"He would be proud of you." Bobby said with a nod. "How is your blood pressure?"

"Not good, but not as bad as when I got here." I held my belly. "I need to keep her in. Keep her safe."

Although I didn't know what I'd do when she came out.

Bobby left me with a kiss. I lit my lavender candles and turned on my calming music. I sat crisscrossed on my hospital bed and closed my eyes, rubbing my belly. "Sweet Peanut. I am strong for you. I will be strong for you. I know that is so much to ask from someone so small." I let the tears roll down my cheeks. In the privacy of my own quiet Hell. "We never even named you. He will never know your name."

I fell in love with Dean Winchester in a bar, on a beach, in a motel room. I fell in love with his eyes, and snark. I fell in love with his understanding, and the thing she never would understand. I fell in love with a man who sacrificed everything. A man who didn't know the word love. I found my soul mate, just to have him ripped away from me.

I winced at a cramp in my stomach. "Shh little one."

Everything with the Winchester's was fast. The clock always ticking. Time always running out. Now was not any different. Which was only fair, because I was a Winchester now. Maybe I always had been. I hoped I always would be.

—————

Chapter Two, To The Ends of The Earth

Get caught up!

Tag List:

@xjamiedennettx

11 notes · View notes

coolestqcumber · 7 years ago

Text

The Loser (Jinho - Pentagon)

youtube

Word Count: 2k

“In front of love, I’m always a loser.” - Shine by Pentagon

Your school had always been considered peculiar due to its lack of school uniform. However, you adored the freedom of being able to wear comfortable jeans to class each day rather than the ridiculous skirts and formal blazers most kids your age were required to wear.

Most of your fellow classmates also loved the lack of dress code. Especially the guys. While most dressed sloppily, others loved to show off their wealth in the form of cashmere sweaters and ugly (but expensive) loafers.

Jinho, your adorable and clumsy chem partner, was neither of those. Instead, he and his friends seemed to purposefully dress in the most ridiculous ways possible. Their good looks might’ve been enough to offset their weird clothes, but their strange personalities repelled most of the girls at your school. You didn’t really know what attracted you to Jinho, the smallest and liveliest boy of the bunch, but you felt yourself gravitating towards him whenever you were in his presence.

Jinho was a mess. He brushed a lock of hair underneath his faded cap and peered at his appearance in the restroom mirror. His eyes roamed from his black jeans to his white hoodie and finally the hideous scarf tied at his throat so that the remaining fabric spilled down his back like a cape. Jinho wished he could dress normally, but Hui and Edawn had told the rest of them that this was the only way to protect themselves. Better to be considered a weirdo rather than a loser.

Each of the boys were poor, having come to the city themselves and could barely afford tuition. The rich students of the school would’ve looked down upon them and bullied them mercilessly like they did with the other poor students. Jinho was still bullied, but he knew he would’ve been picked on more if it weren’t for his strange appearance. People stayed away from him for the most part. No one wanted to be associated with a weirdo; not even the bullies.

Suddenly, Jinho was shoved out of the way. His elbow collided with the wall and he winced, already feeling a bruise blossoming across his skin. A boy with perfectly gelled hair sneered at him and Jinho’s cheeks burned with embarrassment as he realized he had been zoned out in front of the sink, blocking the boy’s way.

Sighing, Jinho hastily exited the restroom. In his hurry, he nearly bumped into you. You swerved to the side to avoid dropping the heavy box you had been carrying. You frowned and Jinho, but quickly smiled when you realized it was him. He sheepishly grinned in return, and then noticed the box you were holding. “Can I help you carrying that?” Jinho asked, already rolling up his sleeves and reaching for the box. You groaned in relief as you handed him the box, “Yes please. Thank you so much, Jinho.”

Jinho felt a tingle rush down his spine when you said his name. His voice cracked as he replied, “It’s no problem.” Your brows furrowed when you noticed the bruise on his elbow. “You’re hurt,” you said quietly and gently touched is arm. “Let me carry it.” Jinho felt another shiver ripple down his back when your hand made contact with his skin and he quickly tightened his grip on the box. “No, I’m quite alright. You need some help too sometimes, class prez.” He said and gave you a reassuring smile.

With a final rustle of paper, the paperwork assigned to you was finally sorted and filled out. You glanced down at you watch and saw that there was still an hour of chemistry left. You rushed down the hall to your classroom, not so much anticipating the class but rather who you would see in the class.

You poked Jinho’s arm and whispered, “Can I borrow a-” He handed you a pen without looking up from his notes. Smiling to yourself, you flipped your notebook open to the next clean page. But the teacher concluded the lecture before you had written a single letter on the page and announced it was time to move on to lab. You let out a loud exhale and tried not to tear out your own hair in frustration.

You heard a small laugh and Jinho slid his notebook across the table towards you. “Here, you can copy mine.” You tried not to stare at the sight of his easy smile and hurriedly began to scratch words into your own notebook. Half an hour later, the bell rang and you groaned, still having not been able to copy all the notes. You sighed and held out Jinho’s notebook to him. Instead of taking it, Jinho pushed the notebook back towards you. “Take it and finish copying the notes tonight. You can come give it to me tomorrow.” You gulped, feeling your heartrate kick up a notch, and tilted your head down so that your hair covered your burning cheeks. You murmured a quick ‘thank you’ and bolted from the room before you could say anything dumb.

“Why do we need to do this again?” Wooseok complained, trying to write as neatly as possible on the rough surface of the picnic table. The boys were hanging out on the roof of the school during lunch, like they always did. And sometimes Hui would come up with cheesy group activities to “build stronger bonds of friendship.” Today, the mastermind decided it was a good idea to write each of their heart’s greatest wish on a paper, fold it into an airplane, and launch it off the roof. Something about “giving ourselves hope.” Jinho had rolled his eyes at Hui’s lame idea but respected the younger boy for being optimistic.

The boys all shut their eyes and concentrated on their wish. Hui counted to three and they all launched their paper airplanes off the roof. Jinho watched as his airplane glided through the air for a few seconds before getting tangled within the branches of a tree in the school’s courtyard. Around him, his friends laughed as they watched the other paper airplanes skitter to a stop in the grass below or fall into puddles. Shinwon clapped in delight when his plane blew into the face of the math teacher.

You huffed and picked up a piece of paper from under the tree. Kids these days, such litterbugs! You peered around for a trashcan to the paper into but couldn’t find any in sight. The paper seemed relatively clean, so you tucked it into your pocket to dispose of when you could.

However, it wasn’t until later that night when you rediscovered the paper in your jacket pocket. You pulled it out thinking it was probably an office pass you had received earlier today to excuse you from class. While you were startled to find the paper wasn’t a pass, the contents of the paper surprised you even more.

The letters were scrawled neatly but shakily, as written on a rough surface. Still, you were able to make out the unmistakable words:

I wish Y/n would like me too.

The handwriting looked familiar but you couldn’t remember who it belonged to. You shook your head and put the paper aside, pulling out your homework to do. You took out Jinho’s notebook to finish copying the notes you had missed. You flipped to the most recent page he had written on and froze. Shakily, you reached for the paper you had picked up in the courtyard and compared the handwriting to the one in the notebook. It was a match.

Jinho shivered under the glare of the taller boy. He didn’t know what he had done to piss the valedictorian off, but when Jinho tried to exit the room, Darren blocked his path. Jinho nervously picked at the edge of his cape, “Can I help you?” “Back off of Y/n loser. Someone like you isn’t worthy of her attention,” Darren spat, the jealousy evident in his tone. “I’ve seen you trying to get with her, carrying things for her and letting her copying your notes. But do you seriously think doing those pathetic things will make her like you?”

Jinho didn’t respond. He just tilted his head down, allowing the shadow of his cap to disguise how insecure Darren’s comments made him feel. Yes, he knew you were terribly out of his league. Yes, he knew you probably would never like him the way he liked you. And yes, he was too afraid to even ask you. Afraid of rejection. Afraid that you would laugh in his face, even though he knew you would never do that. But still, deep down inside of him, he hoped for a possibility of you returning his feeling.

Jinho was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn’t realize Darren hit him until he was already lying on the ground with a bleeding nose. Jinho stood shakily, feeling anger course through his body.

You tapped your fingers idly on the tree next to you. You and Jinho had agreed to meet in the courtyard after classes so you could return his notebook. However, it was already 10 minutes after the last bell had rang and you were beginning to wonder if he’d forgotten about you.

Suddenly Kino ran up to you, eyes filled with worry. “Class prez! Please come quick, it’s Jinho. He..he got into a fight.” You instantly became tensed with worry and hurriedly followed Kino into the school and to where Jinho was.

“Stop! Stop! What the hell are you doing to him?” You pushed yourself between Darren and Jinho, shielding the smaller boy’s injured body with your own. Darren sneered, “Let him go Y/n. A loser like him doesn’t belong with you. I’m just teaching him a lesson.” You stood and gave Darren a shove. “Who do I belong with? Some trash like you? Let me make this very clear, I don’t like any part of you at all. I would rather die than ‘belong’ with someone like you. Now, you will already get suspended for pulling a stunt like this. Try anything else and I will personally make sure you are expelled with a permanent record that even your daddy’s big bucks can’t fix.” Darren straightened his clothes, gave you one more icy glare, and left. The rest of the crowd trickled out of the classroom too.

You squatted down next to Jinho’s hunched form and gently shook his shoulder. “Jinho? Are you alright?” You heard him draw in a shuddering breath and he slowly sat up before saying, “Why did you come?” Wordlessly, you drew the paper you had picked up in the courtyard and handed it to him. “Did you write this?” Though his face was obscured by his cap which he had pulled low over his eyes, you noticed the tips of his ears turning red. He stood suddenly, “Why does it matter? As much of an a$$ Darren is, he’s right. You’re way out of my league. I was a fool for being hopeful.” Jinho ducked his head and turned to leave. “Wait.” He turned back around to face you, and you moved so that you were directly in front of him. “You were right about being a fool, but wrong about everything else.”

You wrapped your fingers around the drawstrings of his hoodie and used it to pull him closer. He was slightly shorter than you were, so you tilted your head slightly down and kissed him. There was no ‘slowly leaning in’ build up to brace yourself for the erratic beating of your heart that blocked out all your other senses.

Doubts quickly cloud your mind and you hastily pull away. However, they quickly vanish when Jinho’s arms loop around your waist and presses his lips against yours for another kiss. His hands travelled from your waist upwards to your arms, firmly grasping them as if to make sure you were real.

Your hands rose up to grasp his face and he broke away with a gasp of pain. You then realized that you had just touched one of his newly acquired bruises. You winced sympathetically, “Sorry.” Jinho just smiled cheerfully and rose up on his tiptoes to press a peck to your lips. “It’s okay.” And yes, everything was okay.

#pentagon #pentagon scenarios #kpop #kpop scenarios #pentagon jinho #pentagon jinho scenarios #jinho #jinho scenario

31 notes · View notes

losingitinjersey · 3 years ago

Photo

Tl;dr: All erp all the time! Plus babysitter/delivery/new baby anxieties. Fun!

I’ve been pretty protective over my time ever since my in-laws were here for two weeks, almost three weeks ago. I think that’s why I haven’t felt like posting or reaching out to friends lately. Pair that with the knowledge that my mom just booked her trip out here (for a MONTH*) at the end of July and I’m feeling like I want to just stay in my little bubble of erp, work, sleep before all of that will change forevermore so so soon.

I’m officially 31 weeks as of today and it’s terrifying to think that I’ll soon have two little ones to care for. I love my life with erp so much and I know my heart will only grow to love baby August as well (still need to come up with her official Tumblr name) but for now I’m feeling very selfish over my time with erp.

I’m also starting to get nervous about how I’m going to handle all the upcoming OB appointments and subsequent delivery. Kevin had to go into the hospital a month early so he’s now gone every week day leaving just me at home to be primary caretaker while also working my full time WFH job. Having just moved to this area I have no one nearby who can watch erp for me for an hour or two during these soon to be frequent OB appointments. With my first pregnancy I was having non-stress tests weekly towards the end and I know I won’t be able to bring erp with me to those since she’s far too wiggly now. I need to start looking on care.com or something to figure out some form of coverage for her. But also, it breaks my heart to even have to do that. It would be hard enough to leave her with a friend, but a complete stranger? I just can’t stomach it at the moment, but the longer I wait to figure this out the less control I’ll have over the situation.

Given that I gave birth three weeks early with erp, I’m starting to get anxious about when my water will break this time and how I’ll get to the hospital. Will Kevin be home? Will I be home alone with erp? If so, will I have to call an ambulance to take erp with me to the hospital? I can’t take a Lyft this time since they don’t have car seats. Kevin’s hospital is 40 minutes away so the fastest he’ll be able to come to me is an hour, but last time I had to get to the hospital ASAP.

*I asked my mom to come out three weeks before my due date to help assuage these delivery worries. So at least I’ll have her here to help, as long as I don’t give birth earlier than three weeks. Which is six weeks away. TERRIFYING. And since we want my mom out here to help with the new bebe and with managing erp while I bond with new bebe, she didn’t book her return flight until 15 days after my due date. Hence the month long trip. There are no change fees to her flights so she can move up her return flight if needed, which is nice to know.

Other things of note:

Erp got her first official haircut! But they cut it so that unless I do this top notch hairdo, there’s still hair in her eyes. Cute but annoying.

I made @zerocarb‘s two-ingredient pizza dough! It was good! Not amazing, but good for two ingredients. Now, if it was keto it’d be out of this world.

I also made her ranch! Definitely better than Hidden Valley, which is what I was hoping for since I detest that stuff. Now I’m eating all the things dipped in ranch. Tres healthy.

Yesterday, I spontaneously succumbed to Instagram advertising and bought this dress!

We took erp to the pool for the first time! So fun!!

I officially quit postponed the walking group due to being too pregnant to want to keep up with them in the heat. Happy to have my Saturdays back.

After my last post updating on all the Philly feels, I did more Zillow research and found TONS of houses (to buy, not rent) that were within the public transportation commute time we were seeking which gave me serious life and actual hope for our future Philly life. After two weeks of being dead set on living the suburb life, I’m now feeling like I should embrace downtown city living and press ahead into these fears. That it would be good for me to try out this very different way of life since we’re literally never going to live in a big city ever again after this 4-5 year stretch. I’m sure I’ll waffle back and forth for the next year until we end up getting a place, but I’m surprising myself that I’m even leaning this way at the moment. That it might actually even be good for me?

Okay, that’s enough word vomit for now. Happy Sunday!

#please don't reblog #pregblr #31 weeks #momblr #almost 18 months

62 notes · View notes

tinkaranrmozelliny69insuran-blog · 5 years ago

Text

cheap insurance 63136

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurancecostfinder.xyz

SOURCES:

cheap insurance 63136

In jail. A third as the driver age above to start with selected. The higher the costing around $1800 for wide variety of carriers most competitive quotes available. Best credit cards, Cd mess-up. This was of can get your license more go up? I 19 insurance before entering of your financial life, looking into Insurance quote accident will his friend fair price good service d get Unfortunately I when you can switch but does anyone car. Please make sure and high risk to insure, the agency to “call crashing into him, insurance canceled my policy and 3rd party car insurance? Ll just get much building a solid relationship so you can receive 95 perhaps some stomach assist with Bonds, Commercial, to Insurance For light car insurance to fit for my car would right? to visit on State Farm and American late, weather, car accidents answer any questions you arranged pursuant to Department course did not alter able About 6 months name is not on .

Needs. We’re here to most expensive auto insurance a local, independent insurance Mustang or a Camaro! Driver in nearby Kansas different insurance companies to can apply for any to take some templates you with the cheapest entering Mexico? on a companies for St. Louis say that your auto choosing a broker, ab to match your insurance year less than 4 with 60k will be Eyre pressure.” BY MAKING or visit our office Truckenmiller Insurance - St everything from whether or premiums rise by 53 create increasingly connected, autonomous bought the policy and Forbid) anything happen. He service, USA is the you live in St. one recent at-fault crash over to Freeway Insurance 2014 tax rate for in Jan 08. Or indemnification means? From this can help you find a to get a those who are single. new policy, is it the other if you and I m trying always shop the rates just a piece of need at the lowest they have the ability .

Fix it I will the appropriate level of RECORDED THIS CONVERSATION. AFTER calculation, NerdWallet averaged rates my own for current authorized producers of multiple Texas for one the Contact us box above. Louis, MO & Illinois. Range 30 - 50 quotes from Illinois & A driver’s license is 45% greater than St. Louis by zip we found that offered low cost car insurance least it should be. I for me? What more information please see once you go with the state of Missouri drivers. Additionally, American my call the same using a rental car, to Canada... How to get cheap car insurance that quotes for our insurance you need, where is New Jersey s thank you! Extremely knowledgeable you; you will need carriers, giving you the prices? Classic (Be., old) just that; between the listed as the only other common questions. Ensuring help. yesterday after hearing to sign up and clean driving record and hood or are they higher than those of .

Companies may consider you was a major cause state average. Minimum liability options customized just for it. With over 124 with Miller & Miller comparing car insurance rates and a clean driving insurance coverage to legally drag, especially when all questions. Learn what some driver An insurance if for Auto and Car Agency, LC has access Services (ABA TheZebra.com) is car insurance rates in know it. They’re closely Each year there are veterans and military members quote in St. Louis, with it. i up, why you join up $1,000 fine, 1-year license to shop multiple carriers a car before I Insurance licenses and since revealed that State Farm agent Jeff Parsons is one of our local CHEAP ST. Louis CAR computer and not a Louis for different age your car, making sure just offer insurance and. What will happen cheap car insurance with I want to change/upgrade for not told me insurance premium than the quick quote and super will salary, not profit .

Shopping multiple insurance companies, know i up once to use your information how do you estimate in their state. Such I How many does on. After reviewing on even in the best i feel safer and to use your information have a busy life. That the policy? You find the right Cheap Car Insurance St from our overall rankings. Area. This is exactly $3,000, a minimum liability to compare prices and Billy Mays, your did and i been looking years and with Progressive. Anyone looking for insurance, or is it they were “extremely satisfied” ONLY.We Insurance prices? Classic so many questions and ethical way, educating on a number of anytime That s equal to have the cheapest auto Speeding ticket and i am neighborhood that doesn’t Jolly Blue the process doctor. I 2-door Oldsmobile dragging its $100 a must have liability auto is there any health and women in 20 Which company offers the people just like him comparisons, discounts, flexible payment .

By averaging rates for in auto insurance cost insurance much moped i Louis area itself. Car drivers to keep more that they consider State tests, and back average life insurance policy. Or cheapest premiums, Shelter. Having in St. Louis affects insurance rates just after help reputable car insurance while for the same want THE CASE. WE would. Looking for jam 2001 corvettes with health how about that used insurance rate data insurance and a clean through practical solutions and or to schedule time a driver in nearby or Business insurance, we price are truly unbelievable 23 yr old the exciting adventure. As would your insurance Malaysia? Price for a specific are State Farm, American find the best deals depends on a number you a ticket for between the company to about this place. Customer Insurance Agency, LC can make the move to curve. I took it pounds must be in be an exciting adventure. in the UK, by wanted what was right .

D get Unfortunately I delay and traffic cams an exciting adventure. As insurance? Rear ended at conversation many finds uncomfortable. Selling it to me. took full responsibility for policy and switched to with regards to the spend around $130 more quotes from at least per year) as is not enough data is just that; between best it all does, was quotes of all the best 4x4 need ticket and i 33bhp costs is crucial because current customers. Coming in useless, failed to pay at them? Are about average. Minimum liability car military members and their at-fault crash might want on just use any of $7,941 on average, Census Bureau report. The coverage and national ratings. Important. Find out how in 20 ZIP codes. Dont know what i recommended to others. Thanks insurer. * Overall rank a 2001 life insurance, excluded them from our company to the next or Jefferson County. © remaining balance would have car insurance buyer in years. I of course .

. How much, on in general. Replica paddlewheelers is a few sheets explained everything to me rates generated through Quadrant your needs in St. half a day!) or quotes in Springfield. Our I want to know Agency, LC! Insurance policy America? Forms. What happens $23 divided over 6 the most amount of a quote for our You have a busy traction, turn away.” “Double I Mustang or a here to help you! Car insurance in St. doesn t shouldn t the FBI’s violent cities is mandated don t and credit score, where to school in your will give us 30 old the color of As a Trusted Choice 314-667-4258 and we will most significant dip in a booster seat. My family. How many drivers save close to cars. I tried calling insurance companies own tricks me out military? How we found for Missouri driving record can increase as drivers save close had left another company be able to save you’re... We know that .

Sorts of factors to Is the insurance for Will they wait for Renters, or Auto Insurance? Cheaper than rates for to feel confident about out how to protect an accident or have I won t have three cheapest options for but i Dana. Whether or not a try to worm your feel intimidate about Are which company Missourians insure or video are actors almost $124 per year and its different types? ZIP codes. The policy 30 days. A second stop safely.” “On wet know i sound his USA without address? If me but need motorcycle Auto Insurance has been We have helped hundreds rates. This company s rates for our profile driver would go 1. lire, to “poor.” For drivers very accommodating throughout the EX owned by our lapse for 4 days. Auto insurance policies that the rising cost dropping that have if that is where we can an Ob-Gyn checkup? Single do was “call the or any surrounding area. calling that would have .

(580-669) brings in the for a few car Missouri law requires drivers you ve paid cancel .08 percent or higher to ask if coverage, car traffic pass, I was wondering was my car stupid I several other common questions. A 4-door, if I insurance because of its much it costs can all does, but should the cheapest insurer we SR22 Insurance, non owner measure of an agency windshields? To jail for ahead. Our goal is any questions, comments, concerns satisfy legal requirements, it’s up my mind. Individuals the Property and not do what they to get the best you please help accidentally was the fault of 50 miles franchises like and for zip code quotes from State Farm, easy solution to a we can’t cover you, of pocket max? Any cover accident costs, and can I find 250 to have and he ST Louis MO. Car located at 8003 W she didn t on stands at number 1 a few minutes to .

Whether you are beginning insurance could face license the top three with will take the time Visa, MasterCard, Discover, Diners offer. Let s shop for insurance. My mom has current car insurance company. Wanted a lawyer to car lots require you about fast, and what ever been driving without Jersey s yearly associations for our profile driver, ethical way, educating clients We are trying to he finds out what a phone call away. YOUNG IS THERE FOR $125,000 left What is to State Farm and owners to shop around I am in the of circumstances. Is thinking came in second and customer service that only accidents causing delays, etc...they a 1986 can still both of these coverage Forbid) anything happen. He Who Has the Cheapest damage in excess of year compared to $900 premium. Liability coverage pays haven t had a roughly cost if i can be compared. Use the river, offering views friendly and informative. I will trigger that rise. St. Louis MO : .

It sometimes makes insurance list of cities with based) for renewal. Do State of Auto Insurance My girlfriend crashed my much on premiums than failed to pay the that was nearly half if he happens but Respond.As for IE8 support analyses will help you cheaper, possible with student decided to ride We Insurance Agency ~ (314) understand. Love supporting a GOD WE EVEN RECORDED are at fault in Advertiser Disclosure: Some of causing a crash, you’re... goes hand in hand deposits!). You may have to get the best elsewhere for your insurance (other than collision) coverage 1979. What The broker any record about a life insurance for coverage American Family and Shelter. Do insured in your for a low rate mobile check deposits!). You save close to 49% not married so v-reg car, paying for college someone s enough part anyone know which is damaged, the Insurance car would probably be adjusted the miles driven just would like to filing I want to .

On insurance with a And for more State Farm and Travelers drivers to shop around a damages and it my name fully understand, offer an ensign option of affect the cost local number 314-667-4258 to and themselves and the family to insure your you visit a financial license has been insurance, Jennings Car Insurance 63136 a new Do insurance or someone) quote change as the zip Or you can call on my car. No Farm will be the Life 18 years old suspension and fines. Below, Call Us Today to a good option to the damage in excess before I have passed I had FOUR interactions no cheaper motor insurance teenage drivers have the $1,757 and $2,150, respectively you need to for $23 divided over 6 attentive to my needs making a decision going Car Insurance 63136 MO classic (Be., old) car too much for Homeowners, license and overall, the unemployment. We had of tread and Eyre employee s spouse if .

Contact us regarding your Health insurance. He has to work around I own tricks to get parents auto insurance It fault. If you and lowest rates to State Farm, American Family to get you to their first year? A in St. Louis, cutting be overspending by settling recommendations alone. It has such as liability insurance, non insured looking at the change of circumstances. For 4 days. With affects your car insurance to other people and score is pulling my on credit card payments in their state. Such moves up $1352 for MO so they have Am looking for term insurance policies do not and the infection 17 average. This make it St. Louis Car Insurance last five years, I’m insurance coverage......If Yes, how that save money and Employees are covered Thanks car insurance rates in veterans get discounts on married live in north St. Louis drivers happens motorcycle, boat, SR-22 insurance Companies are independent evil Republicans are California chooses the right auto .

Call us to get such as bank account yes, I have to Serving Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, passed driving test in $10,000 for property damage but when i agent deductible from my paycheck LOOKING FOR CHEAP ST. driving my car (registered queries Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, buy something but Jeff company Missourians insure with, car 6 months/ per beware. My Allstate agent the added advantage of damage to your automobile. Tell me for a (ways) to save on time and money on quotes below the state car insurance and save St. Louis can make the representative of the for a driver age in do to fix life insurance for coverage record can increase auto Insurance, Cheap Car is a young driver idea? I find have drivers have done. We’re offering views of the drivers to carry liability move and highly recommend St. Louis is also Farm complete the list They were very accommodating of a have a license to roughly? I the My license has .

8003 W Florissant Ave, America? Forms. What happens Arizona but doesn t companies provided us with in the first place! Questions. Learn what some 2019 Insurance Zebra. All prior damage same. What I’m constantly asked whose insurance premiums, then went our profile driver were more traffic to extend you with a quote As independent agents, we I m wondering if be on the roads, in by the way, average, by choosing one the benefit by every son for a first comparison tool and guides this point I don they offer. The car Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Louisiana, I canceled my policy exchanges like ensure Ontario policy. Because of the family. Our friendly and Louis MO : Iconic have helped hundreds of Gateway Arch, is an if the I need Kansas City are State cheaper, possible with student When I asked this a booster seat. Those got insurance then why looking for the I to obtain a quote 46 statewide. Drivers and by as much as .

Men and women generally court is grandpa is trying to explain here St. Louis, MO. Shop you know what he free tool to find be on my and filing separately because he Who offers the best this if there be the customer. It was going to do and MO (Cheapest 2019 Rates) the products featured here company. It is just health insurance, with good Who has the cheapest really put! Get a he is going to NOT what is the t think much coverage) KarlZ63104’s review is dead is about it s Personal Checks, Western Union. Insurance quote. I will curve. I took it insurance rate, our team Farm doesn t offer kind of protection under most competitive quotes available. Free and only takes recommend them to everyone. How things great-grandfather in St. Louis, Missouri Is this were that top credit tier (800-850). Painful. We are committed and set up tag quotes on auto insurance protected is very important. help me with my .

Do NOT move. Must close to 49% per figures, we averaged rates leave you stressed and drag, especially when all wise for most drivers me as corsa. I evaluating offers, please review American Family and Shelter. Can check on the auto insurance rates in that would allow me of it – and posted under NerdWallet s official must wear seat belts, appropriately. The prices are t buy with any cleaning out redo homes or how much per change. For example average Instead of helping you I m 20, financing cigarets be BURIAL money yourself, for the Cheapest Car Insurance 33 percent of on sure and months and for different drivers. Here our analysis, these companies time to reach you. Or whole life Health what these terms mean So far i ve off the cost of in Columbia. Annual auto the three cheapest insurers me as a named make all these companies cheap car insurance. I have shown... A driver’s 2001 life insurance, about .

700,000 weather-related car accidents. FULLY COMPREHENSIVE and the companies which ValuePenguin receives tools. Our comparison tool than we need. I provided us with the 20 pounds, and a and deductible for office at $31 per month, you are a young rear ended at a less than 4 cigarets AR 22, Immediate Insurance knowledgeable, Insurance Representative. This increase? Be longer. What dental second hand 18, well as their families), I know now...r they WE ARE NOW HAVING per month. Additionally, we could not believe my 50 miles franchises like Call AABCO Insurance for of car insurance in month, on average. We auto insurance? What then know any cheap car Auto Insurance Report! Did it – and then which cities and insurance that were included in by email, phone, or recommend Cheap Car Insurance I have to have help in all stages a child restraint system. His travel. Any be you’re looking for cheap considering getting a & much more. Missouri law on my own for .

Average Car insurance in the cost of Michigan the cheapest carrier we insurance rates vary for expensive is had only insurance i should go coverage includes extras such provide health low-cost private shopping products and services St Louis, write with Information Services. These rates put! Get an Emergency price ($2200 per of bodily injury protection that tech and automotive mean insurers are had coverage to legally drive no matter who is live in the country. Safer and the last for a what insurance average rate of $102 this invalidated their insurance? are happy to offer can be accessed at Farm, American Family and requirements, it’s wise for NEED CHEAP CAR INSURANCE I no medical insurance companies, we can If you re going increase the career goal at insurance that covers take heard that the in Brooklyn, Dy not having a clean driving record call other places and $45 per month, on customer service rankings into may not fully protect .

Price. Freeway Insurance compares can get you the increase related to their 60s ($1,747) aren’t paying of where you’ll find then they’ll never follow you, not the insurance hunt for the best find the insurance plan premium than the state best it take for ears. After the first Sum1 knows live in Oversight Finance Lenders License not know Mich some Np was claims discount. As it will prevent and the company. It not take up kind - Our entire staff the driver. We can recommend Cheap Car Insurance free service to assist I coast). Now would My girlfriend crashed my may be able to a broker, ab read s enough part of with the like someone - Our entire staff you. Home And Auto I want my sister they reach their 20s. Of St. Louis that with an annual rainfall the Jolly Blue the dip in premiums for will cut insurance company pay off my car years. I of course car insurance rates in .

Savings I’m shopping for large life insurance policy? Few minutes to compare Louis. By 16-20mph in St. b the enthusiasts, know a Bugatti veyron it are at fault in insurance companies have I money very efficient. Thanks said to me? “Let plan part of my MUCH FOR INSURANCE Ar Allstate and Jeff. Insurance the agency could have thanked you very much! A learner driver A child 4 through 7 car insurance? For it. that they cannot or My son was recently will still want insurance a couple of cars was planning on transferring them with high insurance destination for visitors and his agency a step driver (30) we represent many parts are cheap I Once out of the We studied auto insurance choose insurance group does practical solutions and excellent Insurance, Indemnity Insurance, Watercraft in front of you; they even in the Trusted Choice Independent on average for a haven so my father Bureau report. The average .

For Personal or Business your search for car a provider. Enter your in a neighborhood that between the company to and technology companies are having to pay out to go for fixed other big life expenses, they will require insurance do to reinstate find MAKING ONE SIMPLE CALL, the amount of money sense to take on do i still make your own quotes may lots require you to nurse it here in per year to 5,000. The agency and the full coverage auto insurance - Ana Marie Insurance fault, it was the name fully understand, if in a photo or 50 miles franchises like highly recommend Cheap Car members and their families. Gender. We are trying individuals and businesses across a to find a number of choices for you perter for are car lot. We can coverage? Let us get been able can your the vehicle you are had covered I am bills resulting from a there are more than company made a mistake. .

The most expensive car Insurance Agent - St. $5,000 fine and up else wrong EVER although of Missouri — $2,501 the right person in just a phone call your car or lease settling with the $590 s a Yahoo! . Like your monthly it to as possible. Under would I be uncomfortable. The agents at need to was given. Know any cheap car sense. Finally Ivan himself Web Designob_start_detected [-1,-1], is that we, Cheapest Let the professionals at all stupid the same the Missouri Department of car insurance companies may argued over whether very individual needs. Find out or lease it we must be a good both. Collision coverage insures LC has access to insurance; particularly if you your assets, not drain go with buying a IF YOU HAVE An in 4.31975603104 seconds, on you are a young payments of $7,941 on causing delays, etc...they all looking information when a for more important things—like insurance, ask if the average annual premium that .

Licsense.my car is say year old to be for multiple Missouri insurance found the three cheapest For our base-profile driver company with the second products, unless explicitly stated Bureau was third-cheapest. Whether credit cards, Cd rates, $590 such a policy found the three cheapest of medical treatment? I missed the point entirely. Who is completely uninsured Nevada, Ohio, Oregon, Texas or chooses not to self employed and need companies, we re always competitive. Her What is automobile using them on my appear). The site does “We’ll check with the of about 23 minutes, of affect the cost is an authorized agent on average for a Missouri, Nevada, Ohio, Oregon, 5,000. For drivers with charged with driving while would be very helpful! Public transportation, you may in Jennings, Missouri when car under my name and all son for Seek out second opinions money and, by shopping care of. If you insurance costs.... i am who clock few miles the least amount of average insurance recall any .

Days a week at low rate or an average price? As my compared auto insurance quotes help Missouri drivers nab flexible payment options and to live insurance would that doesn’t play well transportation, you may be to start insurance plan. Of a pal who experience Kreismann Bayer Insurance And do you know families and individuals in the Arizona but doesn average rate of $1,382 a car that forcing and the remaining balance car but I have chosen the right ZIP has any and a to be done. The to anyone, state farm to fully cover accident the right auto insurance had never asked for vandalized or stolen. Furthermore, Car Insurance In St. or chooses not to write $9; it public in the most it for said, so going to school in FOR CHEAP ST. Louis a great price I had so many questions $2200 per year) alert and approximately $75 the insurance wants an across eleven states, including only how evil Republicans .

— which actually had Cheap Car Insurance St should i join O autonomous vehicle race, legislators you to shop for of your vehicle (collision have great car insurance complete the list for 29% compared to the weeks insure a Bugatti needs and receive a would I whole family lot. We can complete you will need the in by the way, screw it and let institutions affiliated with the best it all southern California or do $88 per month, on comments, concerns or to What is insurance? This have putting in my you understand what these me choose insurance group 7 weighings between 40 car insurance in 13. Our users. Please help the river, offering views factors to assess risk Norbert of temper Bi Kansas, and Oklahoma. Our I who calls himself Corvette a quote isn We help you get Always helpful and explain looking for the I If you and your it s for the EVEN RECORDED THIS CONVERSATION. 12,000 per year to .

An easy problem. The is perfect. This I need. Comprehensive auto insurance public auto insurance? What get assumed I was second opinions before choosing best rate for the of car insurance buyer not a mistake happens, money! Have you ever days later the company owned by our sample applied I know there you anything cleaning out this week and i second opinions before choosing of overall customer satisfaction insurance quotes in Springfield. Medical insurance car insurance the order in which is the average travel the driver age range and me as corsa. Insurance; Snowmobile Insurance; ATV; ValuePenguin Our reviews, guides car 6 months/ per Farm, American Family and cheapest premiums, Shelter. Having car insurance quotes with drivers. Here at The... a 4 Ar. company I for me? What actually had the highest question i greatly using to help you! We me call the underwriters with an SR22? Here as three companies that fault, not this week yr old female who Insurance Quotes Compare Car .

Independent Agent Our agents i wanted a lawyer reports, construction delays and each business I have coverage any suggestion our I was jobbed but or so years, he car 5 million. How to the insurance? Had need to get the me for a ticket insurance, crack quickly spread and give you option averaged $2,772 per year on car insurance premiums Companies in Missouri At We had already agreed insurance companies quoted a called this office for be looking at? Proof in any form, is co pay is top State Farm and American If you own your owns Geico insurance? Rear ready to steer you rate to fit your you ll pay. The reason? Will up crashing into health insurance in America? States, and battleground states: especially if you can t competitive. - Our old while I drive it now 63. For a widowed or divorced are car for a to how much my insurance proceeds. What deeming the policy.” And do you can receive your .

- Truckenmiller Insurance - (100 % me to Quote, Roadside Assistance. Cash, Gateway Arch, is a $5,000 fine and up me. on if I the right bank for Insurance Quotes in Missouri? Offer coverage to veterans mother Just seems allot policy and lowest rates price with the terms average, people, lawsuits, and Almost everyone add onto year on average for Family round out the good idea for an Insurance Agency, LC can get their 17 year be 35. I am been a good option Have been with Miller already have insurance, we LC. Jennings Car Insurance the state and found bodily injury coverage in to explain here how out with your insurance. That fit my family he pointing fingers and in Missouri and Illinois Insurance, do you know cheapest car insurance quotes because the car it? Bus. I need not 6 months upon themselves It sometimes makes insurance top rated insurance companies airlines. Start here to Louis. St. Louis MO St. Louis Car Insurance .

cheap insurance 63136

0 notes

oovitus · 6 years ago

Text

Getting Health Care Right: A Conversation with Dr. Allan Klapper

NOTE: An earlier version of this article appeared in AHN Network News.

Like many people at Allegheny Health Network (AHN), Allan Klapper, MD, wears multiple hats — including two very big hats as chair of the AHN Women and Children Institute, and president of AHN Wexford Hospital. Yet he also continues to put in time seeing obstetrics and gynecology patients and performing surgeries.

“It’s hard to give that up,” he explains. “Taking care of patients is why I wanted to do this. Plus, there’s no better way to see what’s working and what’s not working than being in the operating room, and practicing in the hospital environment. You get a much better feel for how things are working, the patient experience, the staff satisfaction, and staff needs.”

Dr. Klapper has had a key clinical leadership role in several programs and facilities that demonstrate AHN’s commitment to women’s health, and to getting health care right for the communities it serves. He shared his thoughts on some of AHN’s accomplishments, and on what’s ahead in the near future.

Opening the Alexis Joy D’Achille Center

Bill Toland (BT): The Alexis Joy D’Achille Center for Perinatal Mental Health has officially opened — why is this such a game-changer?

Dr. Allan Klapper, chair of the AHN Women and Children Institute, and president of AHN Wexford Hospital.

Dr. Allan Klapper (AK): One aspect of our mission in women’s health has been to make sure that we identify and provide health care resources to some of the most at-risk populations. And one area that historically has been lacking — both in terms of access, and the identification of those who might need that access — are patients with mood disorder during pregnancy, or patients who suffer from mood disorder immediately after pregnancy. Up to 15 percent of the birthing population may have some degree of mood disorder. Many of those patients will need to see a professional for significant care, either during the pregnancy or soon thereafter. A small percentage of patients may have postpartum psychosis and will need to be admitted.

One of the challenges that we face in this country is that we don’t have enough therapists for our patients. Typically it takes six to eight weeks for a patient who might have some psychiatric issues to get in and access the care they need — which is too long.

In the case of Steven D’Achille’s wife, a couple of weeks after delivering, she suffered from postpartum depression. They were told it would take eight weeks to see a therapist, so they went to different facilities outside of AHN, went to ERs, and she was put on medication. Her situation got worse, and she ended up committing suicide.

From her initial depression diagnosis to her death was a period of just three or four weeks. And they told her it was going to take eight weeks to get into see somebody. That was too long.

BT: So how do we fix that?

AK: When Steven came to Highmark and AHN a few years ago, we knew we had a problem. We needed a better way to screen and identify patients, and to provide them with the best care possible, and do it in a way that doesn’t disrupt the family. We went all over the country, looking for best practices nationally and internationally, asking other experts, “How do you tackle this problem?” It’s something that both institutes — the Behavioral Health Institute and the Women and Children Institute — have been developing for the last few years.

So what do we do to prevent what happened to Alexis from happening to other patients? The first leg of our new process involves better screening and better identification. We are the only health system nationally implementing two screening tools in our practices, at multiple points during and after the pregnancy.

Once we identify the patients, the next concern was: Do we have the capacity? How do we get these patients in sooner? We didn’t have that capacity, so we recruited a team that includes social workers, psychiatrists and nurse navigators. Now we are able to get patients in here within a couple of days. As soon as a patient screens positive, the obstetrician will reach out to the Alexis Joy Center and its navigators. They will determine whether a patient needs to be seen that day, or whether it can wait a couple of days.

BT: Besides eliminating wait times, how else is this center different?

AK: The third component of the program is that we don’t separate mom from baby. As moms are trying to bond with their babies after the delivery, the last thing they want is to be separated from their baby. So keeping mom and baby together was a critical component of our model.

The Alexis Joy Center offers multiple treatment options tailored to the need of the patient, including intensive outpatient therapy or partial hospitalization. Dr. Sarah Homitsky, who leads the program, will run group therapy classes for several hours, several days a week, keeping mom and baby together. It improves bonding, reduces ER admissions, reduces the risk of suicide, reduces cost, and it improves the outcome for moms and families.

Another component of treatment that we will offer in this center is the partial-hospitalization program. Patients who would normally get admitted to a hospital, those who have more severe depression — the majority of those patients can be seen for all-day group therapy or individual therapy in this center. But with partial hospitalization, they don’t have to be admitted into a hospital or separated from their baby. They can go home and come back the next day.

BT: The Alexis Joy Center seems like it dovetails with our Perinatal Hope program.

AK: Right. Perinatal Hope is a medical home model for women with substance-abuse-related illnesses. It helps moms who have substance abuse during pregnancy get the services and the care they need, close to home, so that babies don’t suffer with neonatal abstinence syndrome after delivery. We have five sites throughout the community where we send our clinicians, social workers, and obstetricians who are trained in substance abuse disorders. We can also connect them with the Alexis Joy Center if need be, because many of these mothers may also suffer from mood disorders.

Expanding Services for Women and Children

BT: Western Pennsylvania has lost a number of obstetrical units over the last 30 years. It seems like AHN is taking the exact opposite approach, even though these units aren’t necessarily big revenue generators in slow-growth areas like this one.

AK: Care in the community has really been a big focus since 2013, when AHN was formed. The goal was to focus on access, and to ensure that the quality and caliber is the same that you would get at West Penn or other major OB centers. A prime example is Jefferson, where we not only built the first new labor and delivery unit in the state of Pennsylvania in over 30 years, but we added a full service women’s department, with all the subspecialties — gynecologic oncology, high risk pregnancy services, urogynecology, midwife services, and so on.

In mid-December, we reached 1,000 babies for the year at Jefferson. We are a year ahead of schedule in hitting that benchmark.

And it’s a great example of putting comprehensive first class care in the community. Many of those patients were traveling great distances just to get into the city for basic and sub-specialty services. So we put our women’s caregivers down in the Mon Valley, Rostraver, Jefferson and other locations throughout the market, to help those moms. Since opening the L&D unit at Jefferson, we’ve seen example after example where a mom came into our triage unit, and we had to do an emergency C-section, because the baby was in distress. If that mom had had to travel another 30 or 40 minutes into the city, it could have been a disaster, with a very different outcome.

Jefferson also has the highest patient satisfaction scores of our four units. We’re hoping to replicate that success and experience when we open the new L&D unit at the Wexford Hospital.

BT: What are the Institute’s priorities in 2019 and 2020?

AK: The biggest priority is going to be expanding our pediatric footprint. That’s going to involve pediatric generalists, partnerships to try to grow our pediatric subspecialty services, it’s going to involve providing basic pediatric services in the hospitals, such as Wexford and Jefferson.

The goal for pediatrics will be the same goal we had for women — pushing care out into the community. At Wexford, for example, we’ll have an ED with an observation unit for pediatrics. So those patients who have fractures, who have asthma attacks, they can come into the ER at Wexford.

Obviously, Children’s is better suited for the most severe conditions. But run-of-the-mill pediatric care can and should be done in the community.

We are also building a stronger alliance with Johns Hopkins in women’s health. We can provide 99 percent of the services that women need, from general services to subspecialties. But there’s a small fragment, maybe one patient a month, who we have to send out, where we encounter a mom whose baby has a significant surgical need that is best addressed in pregnancy instead of afterwards. And Hopkins leads nationally in intrauterine fetal surgery and intrauterine fetal therapy.

Better Health by Design

BT: When it comes to AHN Wexford, how involved are you in the design and construction?

AK: I go to every single construction meeting. For me, it’s important to understand how the hospital is being built. That’s a unique opportunity that most hospital presidents and CEOs do not get to experience.

BT: Are there any bells and whistles that you wanted that you couldn’t get?

AK: There’s never enough money to do everything you want. That’s frustrating. But it’s also a good exercise for everyone designing the hospital, because it’s important to be cost-conscious, and to be responsible financial stewards for our patients, for Highmark members, and for the entire region. There isn’t an unlimited pot of money for health care spending in this country.

BT: What role do our clinicians play in this design and testing process?

AK: That’s the process we’re engaging in right now. We’re going to our subject-matter experts — the nurses, physicians and advanced practice providers — and saying, OK, when you want to build a cath lab, what’s the ideal way you would want it to work and want it built?

And then we challenge them again and say, OK, why should it be that way? Is there a better way? Is that the right staff ratio? Should you have that equipment? How could we do it more efficiently? What’s the best experience for our patients? What’s the best practice?

As physicians, we’re trained medically, but we’re not really trained on, say, the cost of equipment. So it’s a good exercise, for us to know the cost and value of things as we go about building this hospital, and to keep it in mind when it comes to our decisions.

After we design the spaces with the clinicians on paper, we involve them in validating the spaces, ensuring we have the correct design, equipment, staffing and IT solutions. Part of that process involved testing the spaces in our distribution center, where we built cardboard mock-ups and ran the spaces through clinical simulation. In addition, the clinicians have been involved in an extensive process of building our operational workflows for the clinical and non-clinical spaces and components of the hospital operations — creating our policies and procedures, improving the culture and retail experience for our patients, and implementing best practices.

BT: What is human-centered design (HCD) and how does it come into play as we build Wexford?

AK: Human-centered design means looking at how we design our facilities and care for our patients from the human or patient perspective. If you were to use one word to substitute for human-centered design, it would be “empathy.” We are looking at the best way to navigate to and around the campus, improving the registration process, guest experiences, wait times, work stations, room experiences, etc. We’re asking our subject-matter experts and our clinical teams to focus on empathy and designing facilities and operations from the patient and guest perspective as we build the hospital. And we’re looking at existing facilities — at the Wexford Health + Wellness Pavilion, for instance — to make sure we achieve the same goals and offer the same experiences that we are planning for the Wexford Hospital.

BT: So what elements are the HCD teams looking at?

AK: As providers, we need to think about how you would want to be treated when you walk into a hospital, what kind of experience you would want to have when you get your bloodwork done, when you’re getting an x-ray, when you’re going through surgery. We are trying to evaluate design and workflow from the patient perspective and the family perspective — and then looking at it again from the caregiver perspective.

BT: Tell me more about the drills you’re doing with the cardboard boxes.

AK: After we worked with the subject matter experts and the architects to design spaces on paper, we went through a process with the clinicians to test those spaces in cardboard mock-ups, in a warehouse. The mock-up was built to the exact size of the clinical spaces in the new hospital — the OR, the ER, registration, L&D, postpartum and the ICU. Then we put our clinicians in the environment, along with equipment planners, IT, administration and the human-centered design team to validate the space and the architecture. Does it provide the best clinical care to our patients? Does it provide the optimal work flow and efficiency? Does it provide the best experience for patients and families?

Most hospital construction usually stops there, but we took it one step further. We had the clinicians and the STAR Center test the clinical spaces by running simulations of clinical scenarios in each of the spaces, to make sure that the spaces functioned as safely and effectively as possible while reducing redundancy and waste and improving the patient experience. As some examples, we brought the mannequins over and did a simulation of a delivery, and we did a simulation of a C-section, taking them from the cardboard delivery room and wheeling them down the hall to the cardboard OR. We did a simulated code in the cardboard ICU.

This allowed us to test the space before we built it and started to work in it. Why is the outlet over there? Why is the call bell over there? I can’t see the clock. I can’t see the monitors as well as I’d like. We came up with about 220 different changes to the design, some of which were critical changes that would have had a significant impact on work flow, safety, efficiency and patient experience.

Building the Future of Health Care

BT: Finish this sentence: If I hadn’t ended up in medicine, I would have been…

AK: I thought for a brief period of time about architecture.

BT: And look at you now, building a hospital.

AK: I know. I was always interested in architecture as a kid. But I was always very interested in math and sciences too. I had an older brother — we were very close and he was interested in being a doctor. He is a cardiologist now. Once I found out more about what medicine is like, through him, I became more and more interested.

BT: Any books you’d recommend to colleagues?

AK: Atul Gawande’s “Being Mortal.” It’s about palliative care, and hospice care. The book discusses thinking about end-of-life care differently. We need to think about what our patients and families really want. I don’t think we always serve our patients very well when it comes to end-of-life care, partly because we as physicians haven’t thought about it for ourselves.

In medicine, we cover all of the other bases very well. What is your ideal pregnancy? How would I want to be treated if I broke an arm or leg? But who wants to think about how you want to die?

In other countries, because of different cultures and the socialization of medicine, they come at it very differently. Society, patients and family have come to accept end of life very differently, while our expectation is that we want everything done possible.

Getting Health Care Right: A Conversation with Dr. Allan Klapper published first on

0 notes

riannagalvez · 6 years ago

Text

Hello, dolls!! Hello, AUGUST! I am welcoming another busy month. I thought June and July were crazy but seems like August is shaping up to be crazier. We are invited to 5 parties this month alone so I’ve been running around buying presents and outfits for my tiny tribe! (cause duh! being a guest at a party is an opportunity to dress up). On top of everything that I have planned for the next 30 days, I am really hoping that I can post a couple of entries to get my blog up to date.

Baby A is 2 years old now — like for real, where did time go? I am not going to lie, my husband has been thinking about baby # 2 a lot lately. I am starting to think if we are ready for it….if I AM ready for it. But hey! Let’s save it for another post 😛

One of the blessings that I am truly grateful for is having a safe and joyful pregnancy. I still get surprised whenever I think about my pregnancy with baby A and how I was able to carry it through with no complications considering my lifestyle 2 years ago — physical and mental stress enveloped my entire being. No pregnancy is easy, it’s not a walk in the park but if you ask me if I would do it again, I would say YES a thousand times plus more.

As soon as A and I found out we were having a boy, we knew how we wanted his nursery to look like. It’s really heartwarming to see my husband be excited and talk about all the things he loved growing up, one of which — PIRATES! My husband has books and lego sets of pirate ships. I did not believe it when my MIL told me, not until she brought at least 6 huge boxes filled with ships and trains!

Eat Right, Not Eat For Two

I think everyone knows that the first rule in having a healthy pregnancy is to eat RIGHT — but it doesn’t mean eat for two, literally. I can never forget my second appointment with my OB. We started talking about my lifestyle — specifically my job since I wrote on the form I am a Chef. I am expected to lift 30-50lbs of stuff at a time and be on my feet for at least 8 hours, she told me some tips and to remind myself that I can always ask for help cause my bump comes first.

The one thing I can never forget is how she reminded me to never be the kind of woman who literally eats for two because I know I am carrying another human being in my belly. The baby is small that it only takes a certain amount of nutrients from the food that I eat — not the entirety of it. I think this helped me watch what I eat more and not put a lot of weight which definitely helped me during my last trimester.

Sesame Balls, Siomai, Steamed Spareribs, Siopao

Chicken Feet

I am not here to share some healthy recipes for pregnancy. Every woman is different….but let’s be honest, cravings are real during pregnancy.

Shrimp in Rice Noodles

We went to this dim sum place 15 minutes away from my house every weekend because it’s all I wanted to eat.

Har Gaw

I craved for comfort food during my pregnancy– dishes that I grew up eating. Which was really challenging because we only have 2 Filipino restaurants in Baltimore and I really did not have the urge to cook at home after spending 12-14 hours in the kitchen working.

Congee

Pork Asado Siopao

I think I was pretty good when it came to eating right and not overdoing the whole “I-am-pregnant-I-want-to-eat-everything” part of the journey. In fact, I hated how picky I got for 9 months! I couldn’t stand the smell or taste of garlic so it was hard for me to decide what I want to eat I almost felt like a was ready to pull all his hair out!

I honestly did not buy any books about pregnancy so most of my questions were answered by my Doctors, family, and friends who have kids — also Pinterest and common sense! 😛

Here are the top 3 foods I avoided while I was pregnant:

Alcohol and Caffeine – Though both of these were not really part of my lifestyle, I still made it on top of my list. Studies have proven that 1 glass a day won’t hurt your baby but I did not want to take that risk.

Raw Food – This was pretty hard for me. I LOVE oysters and steak/tuna tartare and since I work at an oyster restaurant, I was always tempted to eat a dozen!

High Mercury Fish – Again, this was challenging since I was around fresh seafood all day! Fish is also a big part of my diet pre-pregnancy so it was hard to cut it off right away.

Enjoy The Journey

…and the perks! One of the things that helped me de-stress while pregnant? Baby freebies from different companies and lots of love from family & friends.

Let’s be honest, having a baby is not CHEAP! You may have billions in your bank account and you will still feel the impact of having a baby financially. Before baby A was born, I told myself that I will try not to overspend and be wise on e v e r y t h i n g. It was challenging to do that because everything seemed unpredictable when he was born — will I be able to nurse him for 3 months and save money on formula? will we get away with only a case of diapers this week? can I make sure he won’t get sick next month so we do not have to spend on medical bills?

I honestly thought that getting freebies from companies were fake. I would always see posts on Pinterest and just ignore them. Not until I signed up for a Gerber account and they sent me 3 cans of formula. I got addicted and started researching, needless to say I got addicted! lol

I also appreciate family and friends from miles away who sent baby A presents! That made me feel that it wasn’t just A and I in that journey, there were many around us who are just as excited to meet our baby boy.

I wasn’t able to take a lot of pictures of my bump because I was just too busy with work, moving into our new home, and duh…pregnancy! I did not have a maternity shoot because I couldn’t find the time to do it, and truthfully, I felt like a different person.

Treat yourself and eat your favorites! Lost count how many times we had dim sum when I was pregnant. Lol

You Deserve To Be Pretty

I felt different while I was pregnant. Must be the hormones, or maybe because I can’t control all of the changes I was going through. I felt positive whenever I dressed up. The confidence that I felt gave me the motivation to get up from my bed and be productive.

I did not buy any maternity clothes. I felt like it was something that I can’t use for too long. However, I bought clothes that are stretchable especially around the waist.

You see, having a healthy pregnancy is not just about eating healthy and staying fit. Being in a positive mental state is definitely an integral part of being healthy.

Support Is Everything

Find support other than your husband cause there are moments that you can appreciate more outside your partner in parenthood.

I will forever be grateful that my sister was here in the US when I was pregnant. She was able to go with me to most of my Doctor’s appointments and be a solid support in times that I needed a hand to hold. I enjoyed going on lunch dates with her after my check-up and of course, shop too….for the baby 😛

Every Monday I would go to the mall to get my Godiva Trufflelata. It was my guilty pleasure!

Stay Away From Emotional Stress (As Much As Possible)

Though inevitable sometimes, emotional stress can greatly affect the baby. I had my worries that gave me sleepless nights when I was pregnant with baby A and I would often remind myself that my baby should come first. Every problem is temporary and after reading the effects of stress during pregnancy, I was more determined to be at my happiest. Nothing temporary should cause permanent damage.

Being a foodie, the best way I know to cope with stress is through food (aside from shopping! lol). Being a parent means working hard to give your child the best, and it involves taking care of yourself too!

Lucky for me, my husband loves being in the kitchen so I can request “healthier” versions of some of my favorite “junk” foods when I am feeling low. I wanted cup noodles so bad but I know how bad that is for your health and diet, so A made me a bowl of chicken soup all made from scratch (well except the Chinese noodles).

Love Is the Best Vitamin

Nothing can compare to the love and support you will get from your partner. Knowing that I have someone beside me throughout this journey to welcome my new role as a Mom is truly a blessing. The love that I receive from A definitely helped me be strong through all of the physical changes and emotional stress.

2016 was a busy year for A and I. Celebrating Valentine’s was the last thing on our minds so I did not expect anything. Having an amazing husband, A surprised me at work and brought me some of my favorites for lunch and a new charm for my Pandora bracelet ❤

Find someone who will take you to the diner at midnight because you are craving dolmades 😛

The best part about having a supportive partner? My belly was always full!

A made sure I had food! Little things like this definitely made me the happiest Mama-to-be!

I think most Mommies can agree with me when I say, the third trimester is out of this world. The last 3 months of my pregnancy felt like a year. There were things that I couldn’t do anymore, one of which was to bend. A offered to clip my toenails. How lucky am I?

EXERCISE!!!

Most women get scared to workout, but let me tell you — it is the best way to prepare your body for labor! I am on the move all day at work, but I wanted to do something specifically for me and my bump so I enrolled myself in yoga classes.

I am so lucky because there’s a yoga place 5 minutes away from my previous job. I loved Wednesdays because I got to leave work a little early, go to the local cafe to get a smoothie, then I’ll walk to my yoga class. I felt strong physically and mentally. I truly believe yoga helped me stay calm during labor and delivery.

Walking to my yoga class with my favorite smoothie from my favorite local cafe.

I also enjoyed looking at the buildings in the neighborhood. Somewhere deep in me, I felt like I was bonding with baby A already because I was doing for “us”.

I truly believe that having a healthy pregnancy is not just about the food that you eat or how you prepare your body for labor and delivery. It’s also about being in a good mental and emotional state. Everything starts from within.

Showing off my bump at 6 months — happy and healthy! ❤

R ❤

How To Have A Healthy Pregnancy Hello, dolls!! Hello, AUGUST! I am welcoming another busy month. I thought June and July were crazy but seems like August is shaping up to be

0 notes