#“this has great potential to be hilarious” makes angst instead
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This is part 1 of a continuation for my other post where LL Megatron gets trapped in the G1 universe, I was thinking about how someone would go insane in this cartoon world and thought "what if Megatron had someone else to accompany him" so, I gave Starscream an existential crisis
Edit: pt 2 here
#guys i cant continue this comic I'll get too attached to the “oh its g1 animation errors excuse”#“this has great potential to be hilarious” makes angst instead#starscream i love you but your shoulder spike thingies are annoying to draw#theres only two parts but i wanted to keep my streak of posting art daily#DO NOT BE FOOLED BY HIS CUTE FACE HES STILL EVIL hes just having alot of thoughts right now#sorry if my handwriting is hard to read at the end#i print when i can but i... unironicly write in cursive#transformers#megastar#megascream#megatron#starscream#megatron x starscream#transformers fanart#transformers g1#tf idw#transformers au#ok looking at this a day later i realize how bad the flow is#note to self draw just make comics on the same canvas in the future#i will say though Ive never made comics before its pretty good for character angle practice! I need to do more of these#also use a character ref sheet!!! I gotta look at refs if im gonna do this cause its kinda obvious most of my drawings are from memory#G1 x LL AU
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Yet Another Dead Boy Detective Fic Rec List
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
I've been having so much fun with these, so I've decided to make another! See above for links to my other fic rec lists. ♥️
Like We're Gonna Die Young (Again) by RoseGanymede95
The latest installment in the superb Codependency World Cup series has the boys attend a nefarious house party and grapple with old frenemies, 90s fashion and temporary amnesia. Also fleshes out their achingly sad backstories, but compensates with the triumphant return of Pierre the rabbit.
When I Picture You by Gruoch
Charles gets braceleted by the Cat King instead of Edwin and receives his heart's desire... being alive again. This author has a special gift for taking fun sounding premises and turning the angst up to 11. So excellent.
young blood (never get chained) by ghostinthelibrary
University AU in which half-demon Charles intervenes in Edwin's ritual sacrifice and inadvertently binds their souls together... I'm genuinely obsessed with this AU, it has so much potential for tons of delicious tropes. Human!Edwin getting a crash course in supernatural shenanigans! Soulmate vibes!Found Family! Demon lore! What's not to love??
Ghosts and Monsters by justafandomfollower
Charles is also sacrificed and the boys meet in Hell! Fantastic premise and executed really well. I loved Masterful Edwin taking charge and protecting Charles while inwardly despairing. Highly recommended.
back to back they faced each other by ShanaStoryteller
The Night Nurse has a theory about how Charles was able to rescue Edwin from Hell so quickly... I'm genuinely shocked I haven't recced this one already. Sorry guys, I forgor. Anyway, this has interesting "Guardian" (angel?) lore, great meta and we even get some temporary amnesia as a treat.
boyfriend jacket by skadii
5+1 times Edwin borrowed Charles' jacket. The characterisation is on point, and it has some great OCs (Kyle the snarky seeing-eye cat!) and really sweet payneland moments. Plus Charles' jacket doing its most to annoy the Cat King.
Looking Like the Sunrise by letters_of_stars
Edwin thinks he's cursed so he and Crystal must team up to solve the case of his Mysterious and Suddenly Appearing Rizz. Funny and sweet friendship fic with some quality Edwin-Crystal bonding and discussions of trauma.
The Case of the Anonymous Confession by Mayarenerose
College AU featuring Charles posting an 'anonymous' online confession about his complicated feelings for his bestie. The closet is glass, but Edwin is oblivious and Crystal is in pain. Cute and funny epistolary social media fic done really well.
the middle of something wonderful by KiaraSayre
Does what it says on the tin and gives us a trope salad of cosy vignettes, including a time loop, temporary amnesia, sudden corporality and Crystal and Edwin trying to get a good grade in Party. Wholesome.
My heart is like a haunted house (series) by halffulljampot
Charles (unknowingly) befriends the ghost of Edwin's mother and constantly gushes to her about his amazing best friend/boyfriend. Beatrice is a great OC and it's just nice (though extra tragic) to read a fic in which Edwin had loving parents. Read it for Family Feels and wholesome intergenerational friendship.
the first rule of fight club by e_va
The boys are captured by an evil underground fighting ring. The fic is from Charles' PoV, so the prospect of having to fight Edwin was especially stomach-churning. Still, we get Edwin being a badass and a brilliant surprise cameo I don't want to spoil.
The Case of The... by sophisticatedyet
Edwin borrows Niko's negligee and Charles' brain breaks. There's also a case and giant squids, but Charles' Distracted By The Sexy crisis is the main (hilarious) event.
in those heavy days when love became an act of defiance by aletterinthenameofsanity, JUBE514
Daemon AU and first meeting fic! Loved the worldbuilding, insightful character work and lovely use of Greek mythology. Honestly, this fandom needs more daemon AUs.
spinning around and around in an ocean of grief (your ladder came down to the sea) by Ingi
Prequel to DontOffendTheBees' excellent College AU, expanding on the boys being alive and in school together. Also has its own prequel about their first meeting from Edwin's point of view. This one, though, is a Charles' Bisexual Journey/Feelings Realization fic. So lovely.
head in the clouds but my gravity's centered by shadowquill17
Face Touching: The Fic. I just love non-sexual intimacy in fics and this one is so tender. I also love Accidental Kissing and Feelings Realization so my cup runneth over.
i don't want to rest in peace by handwrittenhello
Different First Meeting fic featuring Poltergeist Charles! Loved the concept, even though it made me sad.
the great snogging debacle of '95 by thatgayprince
Edwin disguises himself as a girl and Charles starts and then defers a sexuality crisis for 30 years. Funny, steamy and emotional.
a beautiful day to say goodbye by ofstitches
The agency take on the case of a depressed house. This is another bittersweet Edwin backstory fic with discussions of grief.
Smitten in the Stacks by cordelianoir
Adorable prequel to lolotr's equally adorable library AU. Meet cute featuring (platonically married) Dad!Charles crushing on the hot librarian who leads Children's Storytime.
Jenny Green: Butcher, Hot Mess, Reluctant Queer Elder by Money_Maker
Jenny-centric fic! The focus is on Jenny and her financial, mental and emotional struggles post-canon, but mentoring Edwin through his queer self-discovery becomes a big part of that. This turns into a really sweet friendship, plus Found Family Feels and some fun outsider PoV of the boys' dynamic.
I've always got more recs so watch this space! ❤️
#dead boy detectives#fic recs#fic rec list#payneland#chedwin#fic rec friday#payneland fic#painland#payneland fic recs#dbda#dead boy detectives fic recs#fanfiction#my fic recs#my recs#dbda fic recs#edwin payne#charles rowland#jenny green#crystal palace#niko sasaki#dbda fic#charles x edwin#otp: love of my afterlife#paineland#payneland fics#fandom#dbda fandom#you're all amazing
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Time-travel/fix it AUs with Cal Kestis as the main protag will always be funny to me, especially when authors pair him up with the Disaster Lineage (usually as Obi-Wan's new padawan since Ahsoka ended up apprenticing under Anakin).
Mostly because:
1) I will always fuck with AUs where Obi-Wan gets a new padawan, regardless of whoever said padawan is.
2) The sheer comedic and potential angst/anxiety of everyone trying to navigate having an actual tiny, baby Jedi on the battlefield with them.
3) Cal just mentally trying to process the whole time-travel thing on top of being a padawan to HIGH GENERAL, JEDI MASTER, COUNCIL MEMBER OBI-WAN FUCKING KENOBI!!!!!!!
4) The opportunity for Anakin to struggle with possible feelings of jealousy over Obi-Wan having a new padawan and maybe slowly coming to accept Cal as a Jedi sibling (with helpful, or not so helpful input from Ahsoka-lol).
5) Obi-Wan having to wrangle yet another droid loving padawan with very obvious mental and trust issues and OH GOD HE'S JUST AS TINY AS ANAKIN WAS AND HOW COULD THE COUNCIL HAVE EVER APPROVED THIS-
But, most of all, what I love about this particular AU is the additional, optional layer of Cal somehow knowing (usually through psychometry) that Anakin is Darth Vader and just having to struggle to interact with his new Master's former padawan without letting anyone else know, that he knows--
--which then leads to baby Cal Kestis meeting Anakin the Skywalker for the first time and just sort of blurting out something to the equivlaent of "... don't fucking talk to me" and then screaming internally when everyone inevitably reacts to Obi-Wan's new padawan clearly hating/not taking a liking to Anakin at all.
Obviously, Ahsoka would think this is hilarious, Anakin would take it super personally and Obi-Wan would just feel exasperated/delighted/resigned at the fact that he has yet another rude padawan to take care of.
*fics recs under the cut*
For anyone who might be interested in reading fics with this particular AU, I can't help but recommend these two in particular:
a distant fire is burning by e_va (AO3)/@e-vasong (blog)
(I Promise) This Time Will Be Different by Nation_Ustria
Make sure to give these authors lots of love. They've done an excellent job with their writing :3
Update: Since this post has started to sorta blow up (at least way more than I expected WOW), I just wanted to take the opportunity to shout out another fave Time-travel/Fix-It fic that I also adore called:
Lost Property Box by Young_and_spitefilled/@constantlymisspelled
It's not a Cal joins the Disaster Lineage fic, but instead sees an older Cal Kestis return to a timeline way before the events of Phantom Menace. And what do you know, he gets to interact with baby Obi-Wan and other child versions of the Jedi he looked up to as a baby Jedi himself. It's pretty great. Definitely check it out :3
#star wars au#jfo#jedi fallen order#cal kestis#tcw au#disaster lineage#baby cal kestis#obi wan kenobi#obi wan gets a new padawan AUs#are a guilty pleasure of mine#i just dig found family tropes so much#anakin skywalker#ahsoka tano#fic rec#fic recommendation
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I’ve never seen someone else in this fandom actually make content for Chris and Noahs dynamic, I GENUINELY LOVE THEM SO MUCH, THEIR SNARK MAKES THE DUO SO FUNNY TO ME. Theres not enough Chris and Noah enjoyers in this fandoommm
Assistant!Noah really was a blessing to the fandom that we've taken for granted. I love the concept of it, and I adore the idea of him and Chris and Chef having this bantering back-and-forth whilst he's working for them; it starts out as him genuinely insulting his bosses but evolves into a weird sort of bonding activity. Throwing insults and barbed comments at each other like they're compliments. It's enrichment for both parties.
The Chris (and Chef) and Noah dynamic is one of my favourites to explore, simply because there's so many different ways you would take it.
Having Chref as sort-of parental figures to Noah is the most glaringly obvious, and it's hilarious every time because neither of these men should be trusted with the wellbeing of a teenager, certified genius or not. You could take it in a fluffy 'Chref learn how to become decent people through the Powers Of Pseudo-Parenting A Snarky Teenager' direction, or have the two of them act as fun morally bereft uncles that Noah simultaneously hates and begrudgingly cares out.
Or, you could flip the script and have Noah act as the 'authority' in their dynamic instead; Local TV host is such a disaster of a man that local hyper-competent (and incredibly lazy) teenager takes it upon himself to micromanage him. This one's a great avenue of opportunity for crack fics.
There's so much angst and hurt/comfort potential in any interpretations of their dynamic, but I'm not gonna go into that because. Well. You'll see soon enough.
I reccommend the series kijosakka has on their Ao3 that explores the relationship Chris and Noah share through their shared struggled with ED, though I know the subject isn't exactly palatable for everyone (no pun intended), and there's a tonne of really cool fics exploring their dynamic on the Chris McLean & Noah tag on Ao3 too, so if you're looking for more content with these two there's plenty there to peruse. At the moment I'm really enjoying the Chref&Noah dynamic in This Superhero AU Fic by Noah_bout_it.
#I have a lot of thoughts about the Chris&Noah dynamic post-assistantship#total drama#td noah#chris mclean#assistant noah#replies
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No one else has made Metamy propoganda yet this round and my Big Metamy Essay™️ that i started writing for the last round is taking a while and got way out of hand so i'm gonna sum it up real quick here why Metamy works so well
Dramatic irony to an insane degree - the idea that Amy's been pining after Sonic for so many years but ultimately ends up with his evil robot duplicate is hilarious and has a lot of starcrossed lovers potential when combined with the fact that he's on Eggman's side but it's still legitimately possible that Amy's "destined encounter" with Sonic that she predicted in Sonic CD was actually about Metal Sonic instead... Can you imagine Amy's reaction if she figured that out??? Her reaction if she found out Metal Sonic had a soft spot for her? Please it'd be sooo funny
Metal Sonic simply deserves it <3 - this robot is SO SO SAD YOU GUYS, I feel like besides other dedicated Metal Sonic fans the whole fandom misses this. He's an inherently tragic character, a walking identity crisis, no free will outside of what Eggman says he can and can't do... This isn't even getting into the Metal Sonic is Sonic Robotocised Theory!!! Most of the time he's just fighting the main cast, but there's only one time (in the main series + idw) where he's shown kindness and empathy and actually accepts it... and that's from Amy Rose in the Sonic Mania christmas short
Amy Rose is the best character to reach out to him - Amy literally has a history of reaching out and showing kindness to both Eggman robots (most notably Gamma in SA1) AND to edgy hedgehogs (Shadow in SA2, which is of course what kickstarted Shadamy as a ship but I always saw that scene as being more about her reminding him of Maria than anything, personally...). But Amy has always been someone who, while she can, will and HAS fought against robots and bad guys without holding back, she's also usually the first to hold her hand out in friendship and empathy towards the villains. If ANYONE could reach out to Metal Sonic and actually get through to him, Amy's the one with enough love and stubborness in her heart to do it!!
Sonic CD was released on bisexual visibility day - they're also the bi colours themselves <3 the bi4bi ship ever. Also Metal Sonic has plenty of trans coding to draw from too!!! They're queer as hell!
Anyway everyone should go read my friend @pollyannawog's Metamy fic series Heart of a Hero!!! And check out all the other great Metamy content out there if you're curious what makes people like this ship beyond just "that christmas short was cute" !!! There is so much infinite potential with these two and so many fun and interesting ways to interpret their relationship that i promise whether you're a fan of cute fluff, angst and drama, or comedic shenanigans, there's something for you in Metamy
Semi-Finals
This poll is for the Shadow/Amy ship vs Metal Sonic/Amy, both for the general concept of the ships across any of the characters' shared media All ships included were submitted to us. This tournament does not accept insults towards either ship - use propaganda to uplift your fave, not put down the opponent
#sonic poll posting#metamy#poll propoganda#I'M SORRY MUTUALS i had to#metamy deserves so much more recognition than it gets#and i keep seeing people in the notes of this post being like 'i don't really get metamy'#i hope this helps people understand the appeal!!!
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what are your top 5 favorite stranger things fics you think people are missing out on if they don't read?
Anon I love this question, thank you for asking this question.
Unfortunately I think I have already highlighted most of these in the rec list I was asked for a while ago, and I haven't done much reading of fic since making that list (the whole 'not finished season four yet' thing is seriously cramping my style but it's just. I need a long rest to recover my hitpoints between each episode. It's just how it goes), so most of these will be familiar names.
I’m going to kick it off with a new one, though: I just recently read who you gonna call? by dharmainitiative (4 chapters, complete, 65,079 words), and I have to sing its praises from the rooftops. I am, as has previously been noted, a sucker for a good Steve/Jonathan/Nancy fic, and this is a very good one. It’s also that rare bird, a modern-no(?)-supernatural AU that grabbed me and never left me missing the tone or the vibe of the canon. It’s got a clever structure, a very creepy mystery, a great sense of growing dread, and some very excellent characters caring about each other. Definitely give it a read, just...maybe don’t start reading it at 11pm like I did.
break them right by scoutshonour (aka @trulyalpha) (20 chapters, complete, 143,404 words) is one I’ve recced before, and may yet rec again. I love this fic. It’s like receiving a huge, warm hug in words, and the occasional gut punch of exquisitely-honed angst only adds to the experience. Post-season 3, in an AU where Hopper escaped Starcourt badly injured and he and El have to move in with the Byers, focusing on Jonathan slowly unpacking all his many, many layers of trauma. Well, once he actually acknowledges that it exists, anyway.
all these acts of violence by bixxelated (aka @bixxelated) (13 chapters, ongoing, 48,970 words) is in some ways the exact opposite of break them right, and in other ways makes a very nice companion to it. A season-three AU where Mike gets bitten by the Mind Flayer’s weapon instead of El and immediately lives up to his full damsel-in-distress potential, it’s plotty and action-packed and, once it gets going, fast-paced. But it’s also primarily character-driven, reframes some of the things that pissed me off about s3 really beautifully, and has a climax Terry Pratchett would be proud of.
Nought by Anonymous (2 chapters, unfinished, 10,000 words) is looking more and more like it’s never going to be finished, but it’s so good I still have to recommend giving it a read, if only to bask in the way this anonymous author uses language. “Steve Harrington has superpowers and doesn’t know it” is a concept targeted very specifically At Me Personally, but the execution on this one is so deft and so thoughtful that I’d recommend it even to people for whom that description sparks no particular interest.
And, last but not least, The Very Best People by scioscribe (complete, 18,150 words) is maybe my favourite fic in this fandom. Steve and Robin go undercover as a newly-married couple to infiltrate an evil suburb, and it’s awkward and hilarious and touching and great. I’ve read a few things by this author, and they have such a grasp of character and narrative voice, and use historical detail so well and naturally to build a believable, grounded sense of place. This particular fic also has a beautiful balance of plot and character focus, humour and heart, and while the Steve-and-Robin friendship is obviously at the foreground, there’s a strong sense of the whole ensemble cast being important and having their own stuff going on as well.
#chatter#stranger things#there are many fics that are very very popular that I'm sure I could also mention#but I wanted this to also be fics that it would be easier to miss#and that it would be a shame to miss out on#these all seem to be very focused on the teens and on season three and that may just be a function of when i got into the fandom
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ladrien fic recs!
there are SO MANY amazing ladrien fics i cant possibly cover them all but here are a few!
(all the ratings used are ao3 ratings)
((this is a very long post!))
FLUFF
Of Ivy and Sunlight by cyanise [ T, 1509 words, 1/1 ]
When Adrien takes to wandering the streets of Paris in ungodly hours, Ladybug has no choice but to keep an eye on him. Still, things are bound to get a little out of hand between two overloaded teenagers with a lot of love and not enough self-control.
a lovely post-chat blanc fic :’) it has a great flow and is just soft and so sweet and it’s just perfect. gosh i cannot really say more other than read it!!! also almost all of their other stuff is also ladrien so do check it out!
This can't be happening by PlaPla [ T, 6,467 words, 1/2 ]
Ladybug is unsure whether accompanying Adrien to a gala as his not-date is the best or worst thing that has ever happened to her. But when their table mates turn out to be none other than her long time friends Alya and Nino and with Adrien acting weirder and weirder she finds herself with bigger worries than an unrequited crush.
a djwifi/ladrien double date? hit me up! i love identity shenanigans, ball dancing, ladrien, and djwifi and this is a perfect mix for me. i know it’s incomplete but it doesn’t end in a cliff-hanger really, the part 2 is just a promise of more so it doesn’t feel incomplete! PlaPla also has a short oneshot of ladrien going for a motorcycle ride.
Falling again by emsylcatac [ M, 4,506 words, 2 Works ]
They had been dancing around each other for a while now, and while fifteen year old Adrien would have been ecstatic at the idea of dating Ladybug in secret, twenty-two year old Adrien knew better. But Ladybug wasn’t making it easy. It was like… she, too, was falling for him. And that surprisingly enough, she didn’t mind.
* * *
Or Adrien trying (and failing) to keep things professional between him and Ladybug when the two of them partner up for a mission. Older AU
things are a little steamy~ here (don’t worry, it’s only implied it’s very mild and closer to a T rating than the M) but it’s a great mature take on their dynamics! emsy has more ladrien one-shots in her collection of one-shots!
i'd love to go on a date with you by sae_what [ G, 6,480 words, 1/1 ]
Once it had been falsely announced throughout Paris that Adrien and Ladybug are in a relationship, Ladybug pays him a visit to turn him down gently.
Only, she doesn’t. And instead, she has a formal dinner date. With Adrien. At 8 pm. Tonight.
LADYBUG IN A SUIT!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. okay but for real it’s so sweet and also??? they are on a date!!! a rooftop date!! (too man exclamation marks oops)
Always Welcome by chatonne-rousse [ T, 1,683 words, 1/1 ]
Ladybug knows that Adrien's window is always open for her to swing by and stop in, whether for video games or a chat or, like tonight, for soft kisses and sweet nothings.
He loves these visits. His girlfriend is always welcome. Always. (Especially for kisses.)
Written for Ladrien June, day 8: bluebell eyes.
established relationship, pre-reveal ladrien. there is something very home-y about this fic and it’s all about the comfort and quiet that i adore about it!
Five Times Gabriel Agreste Caught Ladybug in His Son’s Bedroom (and the One Time He Caught Chat Noir) by agrestenoir [ T, 1,923 words, 1/1]
Gabriel Agreste keeps finding Ladybug in his son's bedroom. As a super villain and father, this will not stand.
this crack fic is... honestly so hilarious. it’s all through gabrie-i-am-trying-to-parent-and-failing-a-lot-agreste’s POV so it is so much ridiculous!
an uncurtain discovery by Missnoodles [ T, 4,684 words, 1/1 ]
When he returns from school on Wednesday afternoon, Adrien discovers the darkness in his own home. He struggles to come to terms with it. To his utter mortification and delight, Ladybug is nearby to rescue him.
(He does not discover that his father is supervillain. That will happen on a different Wednesday.)
Adrien is being a cat and gets tangled in the curtains on his window and it’s utterly ridiculous. all the bug and the cat tendencies make it funnier and adrien’s inner monologue is just a cherry on top!
secret valentine by a_miiraculer [ T, 12,245 words, 1/1 ]
this is the moment that we will come alive brace yourself for love sweet love, secret love
If Adrien had known that getting himself stuck in a tree would end like this, he would've gotten himself stuck sooner.
A drabble series.
i just,,,, don’t have words for how much i love it! it’s ridiculous, it’s cute, it’s funny, it’s whole-some and just ladrien. the writer also has a M rated multi-chapter ladrien kissing (no the M is very much real here) and a heroic adrien and ladybug one-shot too!
Those Benevolent Stars by peachcitt [ G, 23,696 words, 3/3 ]
“Will you come back?”
She looked up at the deep blue sky, as if she could somehow find the answer there. “I shouldn’t,” she said, shaking her head and looking back at him. But the stars were still there, caught in her eyes, and Adrien persisted.
“But will you?”
or
adrien meets his soulmate, a thief who calls herself ladybug. he falls for her, but she seems determined to maintain a space between them.
oh my god this au.... just no words!! it’s poetry and it’s tender and it’s about the yearning and just!!! perfect :’). Her current ongoing ladrien june fic is also akin to this (and the fic i linked before it) so do check it out too! (literally check out all of their works it’s so beautiful)
Flowers on the Window Sill by LNC [ G, 2,144 words, 1/1 ]
The first time Ladybug saw him, really saw him, the universe stopped.
this fic feels like poetry and it’s so lovely. LNC is always short and direct but it always hits right in the feels while also being hilarious. Her other ladrien works are just as good and i highly recommend going through them because it fulfills all of the ladrien needs (along with Reiaji)
whatever a sun will always sing is you by komorebirei [ T, 32,980 words, 37/37 ]
“I didn't think you'd actually... do anything," Adrien admitted, cheeks prickling with warmth. "I-I mean, I never expected... I didn't know you watched my interviews.” That definitely wasn’t how he'd imagined confessing to Ladybug.
“Of course I do!” Ladybug squeaked. “Uhh, that is…” She looked down at her hands, nervously turning her yo-yo over, over and over. “Maybe you’re not the only one with a crush.”
(After an unexpected confession, Ladybug and Adrien start dating in secret. A progressive character- and relationship-study quilted from drabbles, with the intention of digging treasure out of the cove that is Ladrien. Written using kashimalin-fanfiction's kiss writing prompts from Tumblr.)
it does such an excellent job at exploring this dynamic along with the characters. it’s such a sweet fic, each chapter short and fun!
ANGST
whose woods these are (I think I know.) by Reiaji [ T, 105,000 words, 25/25 ]
Four years after his future turns to cinders, Adrien is a servant in the house he was meant to inherit. Disowned by his father and abused by his stepmother, his days are filled with drudgery until he meets a masked huntress in the forest behind his father's chateau.
As his friendship with Ladybug turns to first love, he dreams of a future spent at her side.
Then, on the eve of the Princess's masquerade, he meets his guardian—and is granted a wish.
[Ladrien Cinderella AU]
Warnings: Child abuse, Graphic depiction of violence
this is absolutely gorgeous. it has so many troupes and so many amazing character arc and great build up and everything just flows so well. it left me in awe for weeks and i just. want to experience reading it for the first time again. look at this gorgeous art inspired by this! {and you have to read leonard bernstein too because LETTERS and LADRIEN and YEARNING}
i would do it again (oh, a thousand times) by bugabisous [ T, 2,266 words, 1/1 ]
Knowing you can bring someone back doesn’t mean you’re free of the pain of seeing them disappear before your eyes. He can’t imagine he’ll be able to look at her directly without replaying every horrifying moment when he felt her slip away in a puff of smoke.
When it happens once again, he already knows he’ll be trying again. He just can’t give up.
it expands on adrien’s feelings in the episode desperada (my beloved <3) and it is just ouch. such great angst, such great potential. the kind of tragedy that it offers is unusual for ml (it gets only rivaled by chat blanc tbh). to rival this angst bugabisous also has a fluffy one-shot :)
when the world gets too heavy (put it on my back) by Taliax [ T, 4,720 words, 1/1 ]
Chat Noir isn't allowed to cry over his father. But even when he's just Adrien, Ladybug won't abandon him.
Hawkmoth reveal hurt/comfort + Ladrien
the plagg and adrien bond written is just perfect, and oh this hits right in the feels :’) it hurts all in the right way. tali also has so many other ladrien works in all genres too
By Your Side by omniousunflower [ T, 4,361 words, 1/1 ]
(Angry and alone, Adrien waits on top of the Eiffel Tower for his lady.)
“So, how did my kitty get stranded up here?” Ladybug asks.
Groaning, Adrien pulls his knees toward his chest and presses his face against them. “Because he’s stupid and impulsive.”
“Chasing pigeons, then?”
“No.” Shame burns in Adrien’s veins, white-hot now that Ladybug is here to witness his stupidity. “I threw my Miraculous, and Plagg wouldn’t get it for me.”
post-hawkmoth defeat, and adrien is not doing well at all. i am cheating because it is post reveal, pre relationship but it’s still ladrien. this fic is a roller coater of emotions, starting from a slightly crack scenario to a cute, awkward, hopeful ending. More Than You Know is another of sunny’s angsty ladrien work!
Breaking The Rules (AKA The Ladrien Fistfight) by ThisKwamiNeeds_aNap [ T, 8,714 words, 1/1 ]
Marinette may or may not be dying, but she’s still going to do her best to fix every single problem in the world. She’s not expecting Adrien to be the one who tries to stop her. (Takes place immediately after Kwami Buster)
Warnings: panic attack, broken bones, PTSD. please read the tags!
*slaps this fic* this fic can fit in so much angst. it just?? left me in PAIN oof. it says ‘ladrien fistfight’ on the lid but nooo there is marinette is just having a freak out and it’s all so much??!! and it’s not just marinette there is adrien too and chloe and alya and- wow it’s amazing. love it so much it fills up my angst needs :’)
so that’s it for now! my personal commentary isn’t impressive nor does it do justice to the fic but i still hope you read a few of these!! happy reading!!
#ladren#fic rec#ml fic rec#miraculous ladybug#i know i dont do the fics justice but. oh well#lovesquare#ladrien#obviously check out the writers other workd too but this is ladrien so i am trying to give it a bit more emphasis#also i am so sorry i couldnt include more lesser known writers but unfortunatley they dont have ladrien uRGH anyway maybe sometime later!#i spend a lot of time on thi n got lazy so plz be considerate#also add recs if u want even self-promo is cool duh
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Perpetual Bliss
Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Little Angst, Bashful & Timid KSJ
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2.1K
Warning: Light Swearing
Summary: Seokjin and you have been seeing each other for a few weeks, but neither have you have crossed the line from casually dating to lust and desire... will tonight finally be that night?
Listening: This Kiss by Faith Hill
Notes: This is for @ksmutclub‘s Summer of Kiss event!
Tag: @jinpanman
Beta: @sugasbabiie of course
Lightning streaking across the sky.
The bubbles in fresh champagne.
A perfect scoop of ice cream.
Tingles down your spine.
Subliminal.
Driving on a summer day, music blasting, hair moving in the wind.
Butterflies over a first love.
A stolen glance.
Blush creeping over cheeks and ears, burning down your neck.
Plush pout, gentle lick of a bottom lip, nerves shaking as hands reach and hold.
A pivotal moment.
Ahhh.
Bliss.
The first kiss.
Seokjin isn’t one to lean in on the first date, to invade the space of his companions, asking to cross the line between friendly interactions and lust—which is why he didn’t kiss you on your first date. Or second. Or, third.
In fact, Seokjin has worked himself up in such a tizzy that he isn’t quite sure he remembers how to kiss anyone, let alone how to make the first move.
“Jin?” You call, staring up into his clouded eyes.
“Yes?” He answers, eyes coming back into focus, glancing past his lashes to stare at you. You’re beautiful, he thinks, sexy and charming, and so funny.
Do you know you are hilarious? That when he goes home after every date to relay the jokes you told, he can’t ever get them out because he’s laughing too hard? Which inevitably leaves Yoongi annoyed that he ever decided to ask, “hey, how was the date?” Do you know that he’s crazy about you, that in between rehearsals and practices, he’s counting down the minutes until he sees you again? That when he falls asleep, he’s wondering when he can ask you to spend the night, or stay at yours, so he can hold you, wake up to you, maybe even love you?
“I was just saying that I don’t really want you to go,” You repeat.
You’ve propped yourself up on his chest, chin resting against your hand, moving ever so slightly with each intake of Jin’s breath. Somewhere between the third act resolution and the credits, you’d started speaking to him, only to glance up at him and realize he wasn’t paying any attention to you at all. You can feel the rapid beating of his heart, not at all calm and steady as it was a few minutes ago. It is cute, really cute, watching his eyes go out of focus, his thoughts so deep he hadn’t heard the call of his name, not once or twice. But finally, eyes focusing, blinking quickly, lips pouting again, he’s returned to you.
“I don’t want to go either,” He smiles, “I have to, though.”
You sigh, fighting the urge to trace his cherry pout with your index finger.
“I guess, work or something,” You roll your eyes. “Not like you need to pay bills or anything,”
“I suppose I don’t, but I can’t miss practice,”
“I mean, you could,”
Seokjin scoffs, “Ya - you want me to call in sick?”
“Would it really be that noticeable?”
“I’m one of seven, of course they’d notice, and I need all the practice I can get,” Jin uses his index finger to bop your nose, the immediate scrunch eliciting a giggle from him. “You’re so cute.”
You glare, the finger you’d so desperately wanted to use to trace his lips, repeating his actions on his nose. “Anyway, you’re a great dancer.”
“I work really hard to be okay at it,”
“You’re great, better than okay,”
His heartbeat, which has evened itself out, picks up at your praise, and the wiggle of your hips repositioning yourself against him.
“If you say so,” Jin’s ears are burning, hot to the touch, and he can’t stop himself from glancing from your eyes, kind and soulful, to your lips. He notices the subtle poke of your tongue, wetting your bottom lip before your teeth rake over it. He’s watched you do this before, often taking your bottom lip between your teeth to gnaw at the flaking flesh, but never this close, never when his lust for you has reached monumental heights.
“When will I see you again?” You whisper.
Again, your voice pulls his focus back to your eyes, staring again, expectantly, hoping he’ll say soon, bracing for the potential that he’ll have to disappear for work for a week or two.
“Day after tomorrow?”
“Yes,” You nod.
“It’s a date,” Jin pulls you closer to him, holding onto you, a gentle kiss on your head. You exhale, breath fanning his neck, nose nudging the column of his throat. It’s safe here, cozy and welcoming, the giddiness in your heart echoing in the beating of butterfly wings in your abdomen. Seokjin’s hands, resting on your lower back, dangerously close to tickling you, are steady and calm.
“Your heart’s beating so fast,” You comment, lips coming in contact with the skin of his neck.
“Ya, of course it is; it always is when I’m with you. You’re acting like I’m so cool and collected all the time, I’m a mess,”
“You’re not a mess!”
“Ayesh, my ears are going to burn off my head. You’re cool and collected! So unphased. I can barely get a sentence out without stammering. You make me so nervous all the time. And then you just laugh at me!” Seokjin argues. You love when he gets worked up, his words hurdling past his angered pucker, not stumbling but gracefully gaining speed, one after the other until he’s not only red from embarrassment but red from fury.
You sit up, laughing while he tsk-tsk-tsks.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I keep laughing. What you’re saying is valid; it’s how you’re saying it that has me laughing,” You explain, laughter diminishing as his embarrassment ceases.
“Seokjin’s pain is just so funny,” He mocks, “trying to be cute and vulnerable, and this is what I get!”
“Here,” You take his hand, placing it gently above your heart. “Can you feel mine?” Your body stills, heart racing matching the pace of his, too quick, too unsteady, the warmth of his hand making the rhythm pick up speed.
“Hm,” He answers.
“Not just you, but my heart too.”
For what he can estimate is the hundredth time, his eyes linger on your lips, lowering to the placement of his hand before he takes it away.
“You should probably go; it’s getting late.”
He follows your lead, standing too. “Yeah, yeah I should.”
“Text me when you get home?” You ask.
“Yes,”
Seokjin hugs you, once again placing you in a position to listen to his heartbeat. The longer he holds you, the faster it beats. A kiss to your hair, and he’s gone—no traditional kiss goodnight, no lingering desire in his eyes. But if he isn’t mistaken, he saw yours: the slight disappointment, the gentle frown, the way you tucked your cheek between your incisors, gnawing as he walked away.
Had he missed his opportunity?
It isn’t until he gets home, tossing himself on his bed, shoes neatly tucked away, that he texts you. You respond immediately, and it’s your response that swells the lump in his throat.
Seokjin: Home sweet home
You: Great! Also, I kind of thought you were going to kiss me…
Seokjin: I should’ve, I wanted to
You: Why didn’t you?
Seokjin: I was scared – what if I’m bad at it?
You: Haha – I can’t imagine you are
Seokjin: But… I could be
You: I could be too
Seokjin: I’ve wanted to, before tonight, I’ve just been so nervous
You: I’ve wanted to, too… I think about it a lot
Seokjin: Really?
You: Yeah, I do
Seokjin: Me too
You: Well, then we better make it happen next time
Seokjin: It’s a date
Kissing you is all Seokjin can think about. Not just what it’ll mean for your relationship, but you.
Kissing.
You.
How will your lips feel - will they be supple and soft? Chapped and rough? What sounds will you make? Will you hold his waist or tuck your hands into his shaggy hair? Will you be greedy or giving? Will your tongue move past his lips, drawing his out?
But the one he cannot shake, cannot begin to comprehend: what will you taste like?
He’s tried not to venture down that path, the path of temptation, the path that moves from a kiss to kissing, to making out and hands slipping under clothes… clothes flying, sinful sounds… Seokjin has had to stop himself on more than one occasion. The temptation… the desire… it’s all too much when he hasn’t even kissed you once.
As he tries to focus in rehearsals, brushing his teeth, playing games with Jungkook, all he can do is wonder: have you thought the same things, wondered what he’ll feel like, what he’ll taste like?
“Hey,” You greet, stepping into the car. You’re glimmering, Seokjin observes, glancing at your bright smile.
“Hey,” Seokjin offers you a nervous smile in exchange, ears already a bright red.
“Jin, are you nervous already?”
He chuckles, “Aren’t you?”
You set your hand on the center console, palm up, waiting, expecting him to place his in yours. He complies, letting your thumb caress the skin as you speak. “I mean, yeah, but we’re still, us right?”
“Yes,” He hums.
“So, let’s go see the movie, and get pizza when it’s over,”
“What, and make out on your couch?” His nervous giggles betray his hidden desires. He really would like to make out with you on your couch.
“Do you want to skip the movie and do that instead?” You question. He turns his key in the ignition, shutting off the motor, and sighs.
“We’re good, you and me, right?” He asks.
“Yes, I think so,”
Seokjin takes your hand again. “Good, good, me too,”
“You’re asking because?”
“Because, at some point in the very near future, I’m going to kiss you for the first time, and I need to know that if it’s a terrible kiss, if I’ve forgotten how or my teeth hit yours or our foreheads bump, that we’ll still stand a chance,”
“You want a guarantee that if our first kiss is trash, I’m not going to ghost you?” You clarify.
“Yes,” He’s staring ahead at the empty street, wondering if being this vulnerable will result in you no longer finding him attractive or interesting. Though nothing could be more embarrassing than his outburst the other night. He’d been kicking himself over it; how was it possible that he could both embarrass himself fully and so openly share how quickly he is falling for you.
You squeeze his hand, still in yours. “Jinnie,”
“That’s a new nickname,”
“Oppa,”
“No, please, no,”
“Jinnie, how about this,” You tuck your leg underneath you, turning your entire body to face him. “Kiss me,”
“What?” He yells, head whipping around to you.
“Just a peck, nothing more,” You instruct.
“Okay,” His eyes are still wide, caught off guard by your sudden directions. He takes in your posture, the nervous habits he’s picked up on the last month or two, how endearing when caused by him.
“Meet me halfway,” You whisper, squeezing his hand once more.
Seokjin unbuckles his seatbelt, turning to mimic your posture. He inhales, steadying himself before leaning in.
“Wait,” You request.
“Oh god,” He groans.
“Shut up,” You laugh, your free hand pushing his hair behind his ear, slowly coming to rest on his cheek. Your thumb draws languid circles on the apple of his cheek, blush seeping into his honeyed flesh. His eyes, already a little blown, gazing longingly into yours. “I really like you.”
His eyes soften more, head leaning into the palm of your hand. The butterflies blossoming in his abdomen, he’s so relieved you can’t feel his heartbeat. “I really like you, too.”
It’s the confidence he needs, the security and safety of being in his car, with you, so close together, and admission of mutual affection, that inspires him. It pushes him over the edge, leaning in slowly, brushing his nose against yours in an Eskimo kiss, eyes drifting closed, lips finally, ceremoniously, meeting yours.
Unsinkable.
The bubbles in fresh champagne.
Centrifugal motion.
Tingles down your spine.
Toes curling.
Shooting star.
Everything is in slow motion.
Soft touch.
Heartbeat in your ears.
Sweet and gentle.
A pivotal moment.
Ahhh.
Perpetual Bliss.
Seokjin pulls away, resting his forehead on yours. His breath fans your face—it’s gentle, calming, not so nervous or shaking as it was before.
“Wow,” You whisper.
“That was criminal,” Seokjin says.
“Do you want to go to the movie?”
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to focus, now that I know,” He answers.
“Now that you know what?”
“Now that I’ve had a taste, a feel, I don’t know if I can focus on anything but you,”
You groan, loudly, before opening your car door and stepping out. Seokjin follows, moving quickly to slip his hand back into yours. He’s following closely, excitement bubbling in his chest. Because now, now, that he’s experienced just a taste of kissing you, going a minute more without your lips on his, is completely unthinkable.
#ksmutclub#summerofkiss#thebtswritersclub#btsgoldnet#kim seokjin#Kim Seokjin fluff#Kim Seokjin fic#Kim Seokjin x you#Kim Seokjin x reader#Seokjin x you#seokjin x readeer#Seokjin / you#first kiss#kiss kiss#kiss#new relationship#Seokjin fluff#clubzerooclock#justaspark
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Hey! I was wondering if you could do promt #3 for Hyde x reader? (Love your story telling btw)
I (fake) love you - Steven Hyde x reader
a\n: this somehow ended up as a fake dating au but i’m not mad
trigger warnings: cursing, weed mentioning, Hyde and reader are pretending to “do it” as Kelso would say, i’d say it has some angst and fluff but nithing too extreme.
I was always good at reading people. Normally, I could talk to someone for 5 minutes and know everything there is to know about them, for example, the first time I met Michael Kelso, I knew immediately he’s dependable, loyal and likes to be pushed around. Most people thinks it’s his lack of smarts that makes it easy to manipulate him, but the truth is he just seeks attention, he grew up in such a big family, and as just another sandwich kid, he never got that much attention. He’s more than just a good-looking, brainless goofball.
Eric Forman? Smart kid, heart of gold. His father crashed his self esteem and his belief he has no worth sunk so deep into his brain he’s not even trying to prove it wrong. He’s not just a nerdy smart-ass, too bad he’s scared of his potential.
Donna Pinciotti is the girl who will go far. She’ll make history, i can tell you that. She is passionate, and she will not hesitate to fight over what she sees right, yet will admit if she did you wrong. She grew up in a loving family overall, but she doesn't want to end up like her dad: rich, lazy and stuck in a small town. She’s a big city kind of girl.
Fez is sweet, desperate and eats candy to cope with his loneliness. He’s not afraid of his feminine side, and cares about his looks in a different way then Kelso. He might be weird, and have a tendency to say the most inappropriate things, but he never looks to hurt someone or make them uncomfortable, he just wants to feel loved.
Jackie Burkhart was a bit harder to crack, and her first impression on me was semi-wrong. I could tell she’s more than a spoiled brat, I just didn’t know if it’s in a good way - like, she might be smart and kind, with a broken point of view in the world but she’s willing to look at it from a different point of view. On the other hand, she could be a mean, spoiled brat who’s going to succeed big time by manipulating the hell out of everything around her. Turns out it’s a little bit of both - she’s kind, and she learns the world is not all glitter and unicorns, but she manipulates to get things her way. At least she doesn't make a fuss when she doesn't get what she wanted. Well, not as much.
With all that, there was still one mystery in the little group I found myself a part of: Steven Hyde.I could not tell you a thing about him. I knew the basics - his name, the fact his parents are not there, and that he likes weed, beer and Zeppelin. He hid every sign of emotions behind sarcasm, and had walls taller than anyone i’ve ever met.
I started hanging out with them when I moved here. Kelso made a move on me the second he saw me, and he still tries to this day, but it’s obvious our relationship is strictly platonic and it’s not going to change, even though he thinks it’s better. One time I jokingly agreed and he said, and I quote, “ew, no, you’re like a sister to me”, but he keeps on making sexual advances on me for the sake of the joke.
I quickly befriended the rest of the guys (and girls), and even though i learned to love all of them, there was someone i really loved. Not Kelso, he’s practically my brother, it was Hyde i was so into, but i can’t tell you why. Maybe it was his sense of humor, maybe it was his kind heart or maybe it was the challenge.
“Hey, (y\n), penny for your thoughts?” Donna said, breaking the silence. The TV was on, but it was clear my head is somewhere else. “She’s thinking ‘bout Hyde” Kelso was quick to tease. “Shut up” I growled at him, and suddenly everyone’s focus was on me. Hyde wasn’t there, Kelso might have zero tact, but he would never throw me under the bus, cause he knows i will get into the bus and run over him. It was me and him on the couch, and Donna and Eric across from each other on the chairs as a way to avoid them making out instead of hanging out with their friends. “(y\n), do you want to tell us something?” Eric asks. “I- no, it’s stupid. Kelso is stupid, remember the time he ate a blueberry on a field trip and it ended up being the poisneus one we were warned about when we arrived?” i said, hoping it will drive the attention to tease him and not me. “Oh, that was funny, but not as funny as the time he revealed you have a crush on Hyde” Donna said, “but good try”. I sighed. “Look, it’s not like i’m in love with him or something, he’s just a mystery I want to solve. A mystery with a kind smile and great sense of humor. Look, it’s nothing, Kelso is just obsessed with the idea his best friends will date” i said. “oh, Tell them what you told me, come on! It was hilarious” Kelso said, ignoring the last part of my confession, and when I refused he decided to share my words he did it himself. “God, Kelso, his voice is so hot, i can listen to him for hours even if it’s just the stupid car that runs on water non-sense” He said, immitating a high-pitched voice that didn’t really sound like mine. “That is not what i said” i tried to redeem myself, but Eric and Donna were too busy laughing to hear me. “I just said he’s voice is calming” I kept trying.
“Who’s voice?” Hude asked as he jumped over the couch and took the open spot next to me. “Y-” Kelso started, but i hit his chest, “-our mama” he changed the ending of the word, “BURN!”. “I was talking about the weather guy” I made up, but did I lie? “You’re so weird, man” Hyde sighed, stretching and leaving his hand on the couch. “Well, kelso, we have this thing, you coming?” Donna said, “with Jackie, the double date i can’t believe i agreed to”. Kelso looked confused, “it’s tomorrow”. “No, it’s today” Eric insisted, winking at him and nudging his head at me and hyde. “What? Jackie is going to kill me-” “we won’t tell her you forgot” Donna plays along. I saw right through the act, but kelso really thought he forgot.
He left the basement along with Eric and donna.It wasn’t the first time me and Hyde we’re alone, but usually it was Kelso ditching me and Hyde when the three of us hung out to try and get a girl to sleep with. I’m telling you, one day he’ll get someone pregnant.
“What’s with them?” Hyde sighed and got up to get a popsicle. “Who fucking knows?” i replied, trying to think of a way to change the subject. “You saw how Eric pointed at us? Like what, are they trying to get us alone?” Hyde continued, handing me a popsicle as he sat down. “I- yeah” i admitted, “Kelso has this crazy idea, he wants us to date cause we’re both his best friends or something” i explained, leaving out the part i was on board with the idea, and the fact that it was originally mine. “Oh, we should totally prank them!” Hyde said, “like, let’s pretend to date and be the most annoying couple ever”. I looked at him confused. “Like, we can use cutest couple names, ditch them to be alone or just make out in their face constantly” his smile got wider and wider, and I can't say no to that smile. “Sure, yeah, could be fun”.
The next day, I walked in the basement wearing your favourite outfit, ready to annoy the heck out of my friend. The moment you entered the room, Hyde got up and pulled you onto a hug. “Hey, lover boy” I said, kissing him on the lips. We had to practice doing that without laughing. We kissed like, 10 times yesterday when we planned the prank, his reply kept breaking us and we had to do it again. “Hi, apple pai” he said, kissing me one more time. Everyone looked at each other, exchaging “what the fuck?”s with their eyes. Hyde placed his hand on my waist and walked me to the couch, “Steven!” I laughed when he picked me up in bridal style and sat down, resting me in his lap. “God, babe, you look so hot today” Hyde said, sliding his hand down my side, settling on a not too sexual but not that friendly spot on my thigh. It was all planned, and fake, but the blush on my cheeks was as real as it gets. “Well, lover, I wanted to dress up for you” I said, fidgeting with the collar of his shirt. “Uh, guys, what’s going on?” Jackie was the first to speak. “Oh, well, yesterday Kelso, Eric and Donna, pulled a little trick to get me and Hyde together, and it worked” I smiled. “Yeah, guys, thank you so much for helping me get with the most beautiful girl in the world” Hyde agreed, looking at me through his rosy sunglasses. I took them from him. “Hey!” he said, but before he got them back I put them on. I slide them down my nose and look up to him. “That was hot, so i’ll let it slide this time” he said, taking the glasses off of my face. The script we wrote was absolutely perfect.
The days have passed, and soon they turned into weeks, and our little show kept going. I’ll admit, kissing Hyde and ditching the gang to hang out with him (we pretended to leave for a different reason, tho), the fake double dates… it was fun. The longer we pretended to date, the more our couple-y behavior stuck with us, like, one time we met up for a pretend-date and he kissed me when he saw me. I kissed him back, it just felt natural. We got a good laugh out of it, but it happened more than once. I knew I had to ask him to stop this, because my feelings kept growing but he had none, plus I know he kept fooling around cause i’ve seen girls flirting with him, and they always left together.
We were in his room now, pulling another trick. “Oh, lover, yes” i called, trying to sound as breathless as i can. “Oh, buttercup, you're soooo hot” Hyde called, and jumped on his bed, making it creek. I had to really hold my laugh as I joined him.
“Oh, babe, you’re so good” I called, adding some moans in between words. “Nice” he whispered. We heard the door knob being messed with. Hyde was quick to push me down on the bed. He took off his shirt, hinting me to do the same as we got under the sheets. He got on top of me and pushed his lips against mine just as Michael opened the door.
“Dude!’ Steven called and pulled the covers over us as he fell on his back next to me. “Dude, we can hear you, that’s so gross. You two are-” Michael started. “Well, you can just take your hangout somewhere else, Kelso” i said, throwing the first thing I could grab in his face. It was my shirt. “Yeah, we are kind of in the middle, man” Hyde said. The moment Kelso left, Hyde and I started laughing like crazy.
“That was..” i said as he got up. “Yeah, i’m so good” he said, mimicking my breathless voice. “K, give me my shirt back” i said, trying not to look at his bare chest, and not luckily, he was already putting on his shirt. He went up to the door. “Kelso took it” Hyde said, grining. “Well, shit” I sighed, but he had a solution. “Take this” he said, and tossed me a Led Zeppelin shirt. “Thank you, lover boy” I said, staying under the covers. He looked at me, waiting. “Well, turn around, creep” i said, laughing. “As your boyfriend-” he started, but gave up when his eyes met mine, “fine”. He turned around, allowing me to put on his shirt. “You can look now” I said, fixing the shirt. “How do i look?” I asked. “So hot, buttercup” he replied, smirking and wrapping his hands around my waist and kissing me, forgetting that we are not actually dating. “Hyde, we need to break up” the words slip out of my mouth.
“what ? why?” he asked, “i mean, this is the best prank i ever pulled, and the most enjoyable” he said, his lips stretch into his familiar smirk. “Because-” i tried, but couldn’t come up with a good reason other than the truth. “I mean, you have to admit it’s fun” he said, his hands still around my waist. “Well, yeah, but not for the reason you think” i say, and the confused look in his eyes hurts me. “I- Hyde, this is.. Look, I know you’re sleeping around and that’s gonna blow our cover ``I finally find an answer, “you don’t want your friends to think you’re a cheater”. He looked even more confused. “(y\n), i haven’t touched any other girl since we started... this” he replies, pointing at me and at him. “But i saw you-” I insisted. “I couldn’t, every single time” he admits. Taking the sunglasses resting on his cabinet and putting them on. “Why would you do that? You really expect me to think a horny teenager gave up making out, possibly more, with really hot girls because of what? He’s fake dating a random girl?” I laugh sadly. “No, god, (y\n), you are not some random girl” he says, resting his hands on my arms. “Why-” “because i love you!”.
I don’t know who was more surprised at his words - him or me. We stayed quiet. “Are you- are you gonna say anything?” he broke the silence. “How about i’ll do something instead?” i said, taking a step closer to him. As I moved closer, I placed my hands around his neck. “What are yo-” he tried to ask, but I pulled myself up and connected our lips. Even though we kissed before, this time it was different. His lips moved against mine in a mix of relife, passion and love. He tasted like mint, orange flavoured popsicle and weed. “I forgot to mention, I love you too” I said, breaking the kiss. “Whatever man” he said, re-connecting our lips.
#steven hyde#steven hyde x reader#steven hyde imagines#steven hyde imagine#that 70s show#that 70s show x reader#that 70s show imagines
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So I finally watched The Owl House
I wish I’d do this with every show I watch but it seems like only a lucky few get the She-Ra style rant of love treatment. Well, I finally watched The Owl House after my dash having been flooded for the past couple of weeks and I have some thoughts. Slight spoilers below.
First off, I love the whole vibe. I had a faint idea that this show would be about magic but I didn’t know much before watching - except for one thing, we’ll get back to that. The way it builds its world and deals with magic, though, is so refreshing. And I just have to mention here that I laughed out loud at all the Harry Potter jabs, they were hilarious. I expect we’ll learn much more about magic and its users as the show goes on but as far as the first season goes the introduction was really solid. It strikes the right balance between leaving things to the imagination but being more than “wave wand and magic happens”. It’s colourful, it’s creative, and I even like the ovens and school tracks, despite knowing that the story is about not conforming to those. It makes the Boiling Isles unique and make me want to learn more about the world even beyond the characters and the main plot.
TOH also presents a world that’s much more macabre than I was expecting from the Disney Channel, not that that’s a bad thing. I found myself thinking of Adventure Time at certain points and pondering, at scary moments, how kids would react. I think kids love this, though, and besides, nothing can be more scarring than Courage the Cowardly Dog was. It’s not that terrifying, of course, just daring enough to stand out. Overall the show has what I would classify as more of a Cartoon Network vibe than a Disney Channel one, but I admittedly haven’t really been following many Disney shows. In any case, I dig it. I dig the weird creatures and the beautiful backgrounds and I appreciate how alive the Boiling Isles feel. It doesn’t take long for TOH to immerse you in its world so I’m for one am hooked.
I make a big deal of loving the world itself because rarely does it happen that world-building stands out to me so soon in a series. I do love carefully constructed fantasy worlds but for the most part I’m more interested in the characters themselves. Here, I’d say it’s close to being a 50-50, which is something that even Avatar can’t say with its elemental masterclass in world-building (which is mostly because the character depth there is unrivaled but still). So yeah, kudos to The Owl House for achieving this. From Luz’s glyph magic to the covens and the titans, I’m excited to explore this world more.
Now, the characters. The real meat of any story. Starting with Luz, I have seen some criticism that she’s a generic hero so far, the “I’m a weirdo”, heart of gold, upbeat variety. I don’t think this makes her bland, though I do admit that being told over and over again that she’s weird makes me less engaged, even she’s also shown to be weird. I like the message of her arc and that the chosen one trope was deconstructed almost right away. I like that she’s relentlessly enthusiastic and kind to people and I like that she doesn’t have to get more bitter in order to get development. Instead, she learns from her mistakes but keeps being herself and brings her unique spirit to the Boiling Isles. We need protagonists like Luz, not just because she’s latina and bisexual but because her learning process doesn’t involve cynicism. Sure, there is a lot she needs to learn but her heart is presented as an asset and a sort of source of magic. I’m excited to see where her story goes, for sure.
I’m gonna write briefly about the other characters before I get to my favourite one. Eda is super cool and I quickly got over the fact that she’s not Beatrice Horseman, lol. She embodies such a youthful energy but the show also allows her to be a middle-aged woman comfortable in her own body - well, owl curse notwithstanding. Also, her relationship with Lilith is one of my favourite parts of the whole show. Eda subverts so many of the mentor’s traditional tropes and I’m here for it. I kinda thought she was the villain based on her design and when I didn’t know anything about the show but hey, happy she’s not.
I don’t think I’d even seen a picture of King before starting to watch the series and at first I thought I’d get tired of him real quick. He’s the type of character who can get really annoying instead of endearing really fast if he’s not given any depth or charm, both by way of writing and voice acting. Luckily, I ended up liking King and his antics. His design is indeed adorable and Alex Hirsch is a genius. The only time I felt like he went too far was, perhaps surprisingly, in the book writing episode, “Sense and Insensitivity”, but even there going too far was the point. So yeah, King’s also great, there’s much potential in his backstory and general character.
Alright so really quickly, other characters: Willow and Gus are generic best friend characters and though they already have other things going on, I expect more development as the series progresses. I like that Willow is actually super powerful, just not in the way people expected her to and Gus is clearly also talented despite being younger. I’d be happy to see more of the other kids, get more familiar with Hexside. Edric and Emira are fun characters but they were really shitty in their first episode so I was kind of surprised they weren’t more of a nuisance to Amity later on. I’m all for supportive siblings so I wouldn’t mind a good relationship between the three but I feel like it’s more complicated than that with the Blights.
Finally, I also have to mention that Hooty is... well, quite something, isn’t he. Much like with King, I thought he’d be much more annoying but somehow the show is self-aware enough that it makes Hooty tolerable. I’m almost always torn between feeling sorry for him and being thoroughly weirded out, and I think that’s the intention? It’s fitting that he’s the titular character as he embodies the tone of The Owl House well in my eyes. He’s there for the comedy but there’s just enough there to hint at something more. Very bizarre, strong CN vibes, here for it.
Now that I’ve written a paragraph more about Hooty than I expected to, let’s talk about Amity. Listen, no other character stood a chance to be my favourite as soon as I learned Mae Whitman voiced Amity. That woman gave me Katara so now I have a quasi Pavlovian response to her voice. I’d also say that I knew more about Amity going into the show than I did about any other aspect of TOH. I heard somewhere that she started out as an antagonist, I knew her parents were abusive, and the reason the show blew up on my dash and my general online bubble is the Grom episode. Lucikly I only saw stills of Lumity beneath the crescent moon but the pure Sapphic energy of that was enough to gay migrate me to this show. I’d like to note it here though that The Owl House is a good show in and of itself, the queer rep is just a nice extra. I’m gonna spend the next couple hundred words going on about Amity and her crush on Luz but I don’t value only that. The Gay Migration is great and rep is great but I’m also grateful to have a solid show behind it. That being said.
I’m a total dyke for Amity Blight. I was very biased before even being introduced to her character but I genuinely find her to be fascinating and she has great potential. She’s developing quite quickly, like much of The Owl House, but an arc not being stretched out for several seasons before getting a rushed conclusion is refreshing. The progress hits all the beats and the only note I have is that I want more. She starts out as a generic bully but the opportunity to be more is there from the beginning. We find out early on that she used to be friends with Willow, we see that she works hard and values honest work. When she becomes Luz’s rival, it doesn’t last long before Amity shows that she’s open to new perspectives. That’s not to defend or even justify her earlier and nastier moments, Amity was rude to both Luz and Willow. But through all that, she becomes a complex character who does bad things but isn’t a bad person and grows when she gets the space to. I think that’s neat.
Luz’s decision to befriend her might be cartoon logic but as someone who subscribes to the “kill them with kindness” ideology, I can totally relate. Amity’s softer side doesn’t take long to show and “Lost in Language” is such a great episode to show how complex people can be. Again, I was already biased when it came to Amity but she’s consistently shown to be capable of self-reflection and growth when others give her the chance. I think her past and potential future friendship with Willow is a great way to explore many different topics and I’m trusting the show to do it justice. I also can’t wait to meet the rest of the Blights, if only to get me some angst and further develop Amity. I half expected Grom to take the form of her parents. Too dark for Disney? Well, we don’t know Amity’s dynamic with her parents, exactly, but there’s so much subtext and potential. I love what we’ve already seen from her but I’d also say that she has one of the greatest potentials in the show.
Another way in which this potential manifests is Lumity, of course. Again, they’re developing quite quickly but that doesn’t mean it’s rushed. I’d love to explore Amity’s crush more and what Luz means to her. The Grom episode surpassed all expectations, still and gifs don’t do the stunning dance sequence justice. The animation is so smooth, the colours are amazing, the music is on point and the Sapphic vibes complete the picture. Poetic cinema, truly. Molly Ostertag and Noelle Stevenson are really out there giving wlw animation fans everything we ever wanted, huh. It also warms my heart that the crush is made very clear, not just by Luz’s name being on the note but by the delightful gay disaster that is Amity in “Wing It Like Witches”. I never thought I’d ever see such a relatable useless lesbian in animation so kudos to Dana Terrace and the whole crew. Wow, how far we’ve come.
So yeah, Amity is a funky little lesbian and I’m a 100% here for her gay disaster moments, but I also love where Lumity is going thematically. They’re great as foils and I’m hoping that they won’t get together at the very end. Look, I love me some Bubbline, Korrasami and Catradora, but it’s time a wlw relationship had the chance to exist onscreen and not only in the last episode. The Owl House has a great chance to do that. I know the creators don’t want romance to be the main focus and I respect that, I think the world they created deserves to showcased and explored to its full potential. Lumity could be a great subplot though, as representation on the one hand and as a thematically interesting dynamic on the other. Plus, Luz and Amity are just cute and sometimes, it’s as simple as that. Oh, and also the whole Little Miss Perfect thing? One of the best fandom discoveries I’ve made in a long while. Not only is the song truly perfect for Amity, I love that Joriah Kwamé went on to write Ordinary as well. This right here is why fandom is beautiful.
I think that’s about it for season 1 initial thoughts. The moral can be a bit on the nose at times, especially in the early episodes but the show is ultimately for kids and I appreciate its message. Interesting world and magic system, good characters, great potential for later seasons, just a well put together show that I’m really glad I started watching. I’m kind of sorry I didn’t keep up with season 1 as it was coming out but I would not have been able to wait between episodes. The pacing is good overall, deffo moves fast but I wouldn’t call it rushed, and the “filler” episodes still add something to the story. I’m not sure if I would still feel like the show moves at a fast pace if I hadn’t binged it but in any case it isn’t rushed, the necessary beats are all there and have time to sit. I’m going to watch as it comes out from now on so hopefully season 2 will arrive early next year.
Oh, and: I’m very new to the fandom, barely just found out about Little Miss Perfect, so any and all tidbits, fun facts, and fic recommendations are welcome. Also if you just want to chat my inbox is always open!
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『 Haikyuu!! Week 2020 | Day 3 』
· Sept. 27th → Irresistible Force ·
Characters: Karasuno team
Prompts: A. favourite team + B. crossover/AU
Tags/warnings: Haikyuu!! (anime), PG, fluff, crack, a teensy bit of angst (because who doesn't love a sad superhero backstory), headcanons, AU, superheroes, HaikyuuWeek2020
A/N: Again, I love all the teams and didn't want to pick, but life is cruel, so here I am. This is headcanons about my fav team (Karasuno) in an AU (superheroes). I was thinking of a Hero Association, kind of like in 'The Boys'? But less corrupt... Maybe more like in 'One Punch'? I think you get me.
All of my Haikyuu Week 2020 posts will be SFW, but I have NFSW content on my blog if that butters your biscuit. Feel free to check it out! Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ Imo~
Karasuno / Superhero Association AU
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☆ Sawamura Daichi ☆
Powers: nigh invulnerability, super strength, enhanced healing
If he's not the ordinary cop that somehow befriends the heroes I was tempted then he's definitely the leader of the superhero group
Kind of like Superman in the old-school Justice League, just not as OP lol
Looks damn good is spandex those thighs *sweats*
Cape!! so ✨majestic✨
Probably wears dark-ish, neutral colours with a dash of blue
A bit serious. Not the kind of hero to go around making quips all the time, but will make light of his own suffering like Captain America
Takes younger heroes under his wing like the true Dadchi he is
Strong moral compass. Unbreakable
Won't hesitate to lay down his life for others
Who am I kidding. He's basically Captain America with a cape
Poster-boy for the Hero Association
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☆ Sugawara Koushi ☆
Powers: telekinesis
A soft, pearly aesthetic with his suit, hair and skin. Lots of white and silver
A favourite among the ladies he's just too pretty, damm it T T
Very plucky and adorable
People in the vicinity will literally faint when he goes all serious to concentrate and use his powers
Has a duo move with Daichi where he literally throws him like a missle YEET
Has the most followers on Twitter and TikTok and his fans can be pretty nuts
Has a perfume line named after him and models for the adverts
Will smile like an angel right before bringing a building down on top of you fuck, I find this one really funny
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☆ Azumane Asahi ☆
Powers: regeneration, enhanced stength
Kind of like Wolverine or Deapool but, like, much, much softer on the inside uwu
Wears green and black
Messed up big time back in the day and dropped off the grid out of guilt some people died :(
Was convinced to come back when his old teammates finally found him again because they needed his help in a crisis
Literally shed tears of relief when heroes and citizens alike welcomed him back instead of hating him mah heart *sniffs*
Can withstand seemingly anything and fully heal within a matter of days
Doesn't know the full extent of his powers himself. How exactly do one test it? 🤔
Still has to psych himself up for a fight, though big softy, really
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☆ Shimizu Kiyoko ☆
Powers: electrokinesis, flight
Powers like Storm from X-Men, and kicks ass like Wonder Woman
Refuses to wear a revealing suit, but looks bomb af anyway
Kiyoko = absolute queen
One of the most powerful heroes, but doesn't throw her weight around unless she's kicking bady-guy booty
Stella gynamast, and has mastered several martial arts
Can literally throw a guy three times her size, all without any strength powers Tanaka: 👁👄👁
Somehow has perfect hair all the time secret superpower??
Is active on the political stage as a human rights activist, headlining women's rights yes, yes yes
Will strike you with lightning for sexual harassment
Comes up with really good mission plans
Is a soothing balm for Tanaka when he loses it
Black and gold aesthetic✨
Asymmetrical cape! super fashionable
Poster-girl for the Hero Association
☆ Tanaka Ryuunosuke ☆
Powers: fire generation and manipulation
Tanaka brings the heat literally
A bit of a chaotic-good, but what's new there?
Can get out of control if he loses his focus, so his friends have to keep him grounded Kiyoko is a literal angel when that happens
Kiyoko: Sun's getting real low...
Bonus points if you get the reference
Is terrified of hurting innocents if he gets out of control
It rarely happens, but if he loses his self confidence, his powers don't seem to work
Shouts cringy lines at the villains before roasting their asses lmfao
Wears a black and orange flame-retardant suit, and actually looks pretty fine in it 😌👌
Literally head over heels for Kiyoko just imagine it. Biggest hype man
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☆ Nishinoya Yuu ☆
Powers: animal metamorphosis, enhanced speed
Think Beast Boy from 'Teen Titans', but less green he's more likely to be yellow or orange, lmao
Handy in lots of different situations. Very versatile
Incredibly cheeky and joins in with Tanaka's cheesy jokes and one-liners
Absolute maniac, but the people love him, especially schoolkids lmao
Has his own energy drink flavour, and he's STOKED about it
Yellow and black suit, kind of like his hair
Has a surprisingly large following of fans
Laps up the attention, but it doesn't really go to his head
Quiet and serious when he's on a mission/fighting
☆ Hinata Shouyou ☆
Powers: self replication, super speed, levitation
His powers took a while to properly manifest, which left him feeling isolated as a teen
Was pretty lost until Ukai helped train him
Got into a fight with Kageyama in an alleyway when he first met him MET HIM IN THE STREET, LMAO
Argues with Kageyama a lot at headquarters, but they work together like a dream when taking down bad guys
Has a heart of literal gold precious baby
Is contantly amazed when he helps significantly
Was inspired to become a hero by his idol, the Little Giant and it's his dream to inspire someone else 😭😭
Uses his replication ability to confuse the bad guys ULTIMATE DECOY
Levitates around the room when he's excited like Aang from ATLA, hahaha
Wears an orange, white and yellow suit with little wings on his heels cuuuute
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☆ Kageyama Tobio ☆
Powers: water/ice generation and manipulation, breathing underwater, superhuman reflexes
I was tempted to give him fire/ice powers like Todoroki, but I didn't want to detract from Tanaka
Has problems focusing his powers, and can be quite turbulent in the heat of battle
Finds it hard to work well with others initially, but really makes an effort
Has hurt people close to him by accident before and never wants to do it again it would tear him apart
Becomes a power duo with Hinata when Ukai helps train them, even though they don't seem to get on well at first
Broody boi on the surface, but a cinnamon roll deep down
Wears a dark blue and deep purple suit that has fins to assist in underwater escapades which are his forte
Freezes Hinata's feet to the floor when he pisses him off or anybody's feet, tbh
Can dodge almost anything because of his reflexes don't ever try to punch him. You'll look stupid
Is surprised by the number of people in his fan club especially the number of women asking to marry him??
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☆ Tsukishima Kei ☆
Powers: telepathy, superhuman intellect, mind control on weak-willed individuals
Prefers to outwit his enemies rather than getting into a brawl
But his self-designed gadgets and tech help him out if he has to a bit like Tony Stark, wink wonk
Sometimes makes you question if he's really a hero or not Tsukki, please
Doesn't take orders well
Baits villains by insulting them and getting the better of them with his words it's hilarious
Comes up with good plans, but improvises well with whatever he's got
Probably wears suits over his spandex most of the time fancy shmancy
Is prepared to die to protect Yamaguchi waahhh
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☆ Yamaguchi Tadashi ☆
Powers: invisibility, force fields, teleportation
Susan Storm with added teleportation, lol
Often finds it hard to value his powers because they're not as visually strong and impressive as other people's
Rather than squaring up to a battle, he often has to 'hide' from it by literally going invisible
But he gradually becomes aware of how vital his powers can be, and learns to control them and make them as advantageous as possible
Is a highly important and valued member of the team
Soft bean that gets nervous and throws up before a fight
But he's hella determined and won't back down
Honestly, just wants to protect Tsukki and make him proud PROTECT HIM
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☆ Yachi Hitoka ☆
Powers: size manipulation
She can shrink and enlarge herself and objects she touches at will, including other people
Sometimes shrinks really small to avoid social situations she doesn't want to be in samez, honey
The clumsiest and least experienced on the team
But she tries her best, gradually getting to grips with her powers
Sometimes uses her powers by accident, like when she's nervous
Once touched a watermelon slice on the refreshment table and accidentally blew it up to the size of a car Hinata, Kageyama and Noya fully dug in with their faces 😭😭
Nearly passed out when Daichi, the literal god of the Hero Association, told her she had great potential
Don't worry, Yams teleported and caught her
☆ Ukai Keishin ☆
Powers: laser vision, metal mimicry
The has-been hero who lost his enthusiasm for hero-ing and retired some years ago
Was really cool back in his hayday. Big hot-shot with a fan club
Has been working as a convenience store attendant to pay the bills and is bored out of his mind but refuses to admit it
Was convinced to get back in the game when he found Hinata and Kageyama fighting, both struggling with their abilities. He broke up the fight and agreed to coach them
Doesn't do much of the flashy hero stuff anymore, but will occasionally get stuck in when he's needed must protecc his children
Is only, like, ten years older than the other heroes, but they treat him like some fossilised sensei out of Natuto, or some shit
Tbf, he has the back problems of one 😭😭
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☆ Takeda Ittetsu ☆
Powers: power absorption
Transferred from being a hero to hero management after having having issues with the effects of his powers he has a conscience :(
He felt guilty and responsible for permanently taking the powers of others, even if they were criminals
It was like removing a piece of their souls it kind of broke him
These days, he makes sure nobody knows about his powers, so it can't be used against him
He helps in any other way possible
He would only use his powers again in dire circumstances he knows he'll eventually have to
Is generally chipper and good natured, though
If he was ever captured by a villain, they'd probably send him back because he talks too much omg, hahaha
Helps gather info for the team and direct them on missions and in fights
Gives bomb inspirational speeches ✊
© imo-chan-imagines 2020
#imo chan imagines#haikyuuweek2020#karasuno#haikyuu!!#hq!#headcanons#haikyuu headcanons#sawamura daichi#sugawara koushi#azumane asahi#shimizu kiyoko#tanaka ryuunosuke#nishinoya yuu#hinata shouyou#kageyama tobio#tsukishima kei#yamaguchi tadashi#yachi hitoka#ukai keishin#takeda ittestu
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This week on Sen Çal Kapımı
Serkan's inability to articulate his feelings for Eda has him literally man down, while Eda contemplates their kinda, sorta, maybe mutual feelings and her future. Other stuff happens, but come on, with this episode, Edser takes centre stage as the ship sets sail on the high seas.
Before we jump right into it, last week in this post, I bulleted the things all of us expected was coming.
Let’s take one moment to note the glorious ways in which all of these things unfolded?
Nursing back to health
Pining
Severe angst
Breaking point
Dear writers of this show, we appreciate you. We are truly blessed.
Now, on to this week. The episode picks up where we left off, with Selin giving Serkan 2 days to decide whether she drops Ferit like a hot potato on the eve of their wedding. Let’s be clear, she wants to dump a man she is supposed to marry in two days to resume a logical and clinical relationship? Is Selin even in love with Serkan? It doesn’t seem like he treated her very well – but then again, it seems their relationship had a very logical genesis – no sweeping romantic gestures, no sweet words, no compliments it would seem! etc. So objectively I’m not sure what exactly makes that prospect better than the one with Ferit – who clearly does love and care for her. But I digress.
Essentially, this is how it plays out:
Selin: “Let me know in max 2 days if you want to be with me, k.”
Serkan: ...
Eda: Simply exists.
Serkan: Stares directly at Selin as he deliberately grasps Eda’s hand and holds on for dear life.
Now, they say actions speak louder than words... so how is Selin still not clear on the fact that Serkan not rushing to end her marriage means he’s not interested???
Anyhoo, Serkan and Eda spend most of the episode circling around the same.
Did you say yes to Selin?
What is your opinion on my situation with Selin?
Would you stay?
I can’t stay because… reasons
If either one of these to love-struck puppies took a second to reflect, they would realise that they actually have the answers already. Eda in fact, does consider for a minute that Serkan might actually have feelings for her. Serkan however, is convinced Eda cannot wait to get out of his life - which makes his bold move at the end of the episode a great moment for his own growth as a character. He was operating on his feelings and taking an emotional risk, having no idea how she actually felt. Yes, he had the note she left, but up until 20 minutes earlier, he was still fighting Engin on the notion that she could genuinely have feelings for him.
Speaking on Engin, writers, I have faith that we will see Engin mercilessly tease Serkan in the next episode about his heart eyes and his newfound familiarity with the language of love. This is likely going to bring great comedic gold. Its also not lost on me that Engin can so easily see the love between Serkan and Eda, but is totally clueless about his own romantic entanglements. To be honest, I’m not invested in this romance, so whomever he ends up with - or doesn’t - is fine by me.
Listen, I’m high key bursting at the fact that Eda and Serkan both already see the other in their bed(s). Them facing “each other” with longing was one of the smaller moments of the episode, but one of my favourites. And because this show is so good at parallels, I’m putting it out there that we will get a scene of them sharing a bed without Serkan needing to turn his back to her, but also without Serkan ruining the mood once daybreak arrives. Eda is a snuggler and she loves to sleep. I’m looking forward to bedroom shenanigans. Also, can Eda (and Engin) find the pictures of them he’s clearly carrying around in his wallet at this point? Please and thank you.
SIDE NOTE: according to Laila, Serkan has a conference in London “next week” which has been reserved for two people. Since I’m going out on a limb and saying Serkan won’t be travelling with Selin, will Eda accompany him to the UK? One can only hope for a honeymoon romantic getaway business trip.
Adore the “don’t leave” parallels that the show has been dropping like golden nuggets for the past few weeks. Serkan has spent multiple episodes in a struggle with himself. If Eda wants to leave, he insists its not his style to ask her to stay. But by episodes end he is so frenzied at the thought of his life without her, he’s ready and willing to say it m u l t i p l e times. We love a glow up.
Things I loved about this episode:
The handhold 5 seconds in & Eda’s impulsive kiss on his cheek.
The super cheesy let’s-randomly-turn-on-the-radio-and-awkwardly-listen-to-the-exact-song-describing-our entire-love-story. The way I was lapping it up with shovel. Also, Başak Gümülcinelioğlu’s (aka the actress playing Piril) song Sen Çal Kapımı is beautiful. All the fanvids, all the time please oh talented vidders.
Serkan’s meltdown at the office the minute he realised she’s about to leave. Hilarious. I truly enjoy seeing him a little off kilter and a lot out of control. Just looking at how his employees have relaxed since he’s been more relaxed - due to Eda’s influence - is a great subtle storytelling mechanism as well.
Immensely enjoyed Nurse Eda - especially her traditional approach to checking temperatures. LOL. Just a comment that despite Eda believing Serkan and Selin are most likely a thing, she refuses to leave his side in deference to Selin. I totally loved seeing her stake her claim. And judging by the never-you-mind, irritated way with which Serkan basically told Selin to move along, Serkan doesn’t want people around when he’s sick - but he certainly wants Eda.
Serkan going from unable to communicate to “you’re constantly in my head, in my every thought! You’ve taken over my brain! You’ve taken over my entire life!” #FlingsSelfIntoTheSun
THE KISS. Beautiful cinematography, beautiful direction, gorgeous cast, amazing script. Loved everything about it.
Things that broke/confused me
Serkan being a complete dolt and instead of enjoying the woman he loves cuddled up beside him, he takes the time to reiterate that he doesn’t remember their conversation from the night before. SMH. Eda was about to risk it all one last time, and Serkan’s poorly timed dose of realness is the final straw.
The tears in his eyes when she left the office. He was still fighting being vulnerable, even after Eda basically gave him the roadmap with an x for how to achieve success. Thankfully, by episodes end his own desperation at potentially losing her outweighed his “logic” and self preservation. Eda is teaching Serkan that its okay to need other people and that he doesn’t have to shoulder everything alone. #MyEndlessFloodOfTears
Aydan being unable to see how very much Serkan loves Eda and her - bordering on delusional at this point - push for Serkan to marry a woman who inspires no passion, no interest, no life, no spark in him! I understood it initially. But now it’s just comical. Seyfi is clearly team #Edser. I know the Bolat’s have a history of trauma. But pushing Serkan into a loveless marriage, while hurting Ferit and potentially Eda (and Serkan himself) seems absurd to me.
Ayfer’s reaction to the contract was OOT IMO. The show has been quite light handed with drama and this was the first time I thought the hysterics was over done. I understand that it was a shock, I understand that feelings of betrayal and hurt are natural. But a moment of reflection - as well as allowing Eda to explain - would have easily highlighted what Ayfer already knows - that there is a lot more happening between Eda and Serkan than a mere contract. Furthermore, this “Serkan Bolat is the devil incarnate here to take advantage of our poor Eda” is ridiculous. Serkan is a good person - logical and sometimes aloof - but he isn’t devious. If anything, Ayfer getting to know him during their terrarium creating afternoon left her with a good impression of who he is. So unless there are missing scenes somewhere, her suddenly being anti-Serkan feels like a necessity to serve the upcoming plot, as opposed to an organic happenstance. Not my favourite development. This includes her orchestrating Eda’s scholarship in Italy. Feels out of character. But let’s see how it all plays out.
Things I know is coming:
From the fragman, Serkan names a star or something after her #squee
Selin finally getting it
Aydan not getting it
Seyfi being over the moon - along with Melo no doubt
D R A M A about parents and death and cover-ups but I’m ignoring that for now
And most importantly:
Dating
Kissing
Hugging
Giggles
#FlingsSelfIntoTheEverLovingSun #NotPrepared
#sen cal kapimi#Sen Çal Kapımı#edser#serkan bolat#eda yildiz#naz rambles#JFC I love this show#THANKS FOR MY BB FOR LIFE MIRI FOR POINTING ME AT THIS SHOW#I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER#f long post#so under the cut
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toffee!
ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.
ah yeah ty, good suggestions.
hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(
ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)
hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)
cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe
thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track
domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*
ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album
the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy
sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha
silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either
secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it
STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.
red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved
surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?
gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining
wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)
hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha
<3 w.a. 🐺
i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.
oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.
man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d
okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!
> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)
back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.
i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.
i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.
PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)
i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!
wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ
and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA
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Soriel Week 2020 Day 1: Dance More of a subtle reference to the prompt in this one. Yes i’m back at it with the angst on day 1. The pic is just a bonus for the real entry, which is the oneshot I wrote below the cut. You can also read it here on AO3: X (TW for implied blood, death and violence. The usual stuff that comes with references to the no mercy run)
It was cold.
It was cold when he hit the tiled floor, body rapidly going to pieces. And it was cold now. Wherever he was.
Everything still ached. Like acid eating through his bones. The pain was always strangely familiar, expected. But that never stopped it from hurting.
He curled his crimson stained mitten tighter over his ribcage, not even sure if he was facing up or down. He didn’t dare open his sockets, wanting more than anything to slip away from all this into sleep. He was so unbelievably tired.
The sounds of a small child’s body repeatedly slamming into the floor and against the walls kept swimming through his skull, ruining any chance of that. Paired with the hazy visions of a gold hallway littered with bones and awash in great stains of red, it was like a cruel joke. So much for this process being peaceful.
How long had it gone on this time? How many times had he killed them?
It didn’t matter anymore. So he wished his mind would stop asking.
With every moment that passed though, he did start to notice the cold all around was losing its grip on him. Something warm had come to combat it. Something physical… soft. Something… that smelled like cinnamon… and butterscotch?
The oddity of that alone was enough to calm the chaos of his thoughts some, and convinced him to attempt to open his weary sockets. It was more effort than expected, but he managed it.
What met his eyelights then when they were able to focus was… unexpected to say the least.
Soft scarlet eyes stared down at him, set in what seemed to be a sea of white fur. Long creamy white ears framed their face and two horns crowned their head. Strangely, there were also what appeared to be shining specks in their fur, glittering like tiny stars. Those same specks were also lazily floating in the air around them, bright and twinkling against what seemed to be all encompassing blackness in every direction.
Judging from the angle he was seeing them from, he realized they were holding him in their large arms. making him feel utterly tiny… but safe. The monster shouldn’t have been familiar, yet somehow he knew exactly who she was.
“Oh thank goodness…” She sighed with relief before smiling down at him. “I was starting to worry you may not wake up!”
He just stared up at her for a few moments, mind awhirl with questions he was too tired to focus on. But he eventually managed a weak smile.
“heh… well this is new.” Was all he could think to say, thinking aloud more than anything.
He had been expecting his brother. Surely that was who must have greeted him all the other times he’d ended up here. It only made sense. But thinking about it too much would only add a skullache to all the other aches consuming him. So he didn’t bother to question it. Worrying about the logistics of what happened in this place didn’t have much of a point.
Besides… he’d be lying if he denied seeing her didn’t stir the first positive feelings he’d felt in… gosh… how long had it been since he’d saw Papyrus’ scarf half buried in the snow at the outskirts of Snowdin? Whatever… if she was here, he must be here too.
“Greetings, my friend.” She said warmly, though her eyes were still noticeably sad. “It is I, Toriel. I know you may not recognize me, but my voice may sound familiar to you, does it not?”
“yah. nice to see you tori.” He said, finding the words oddly natural.
She blinked in surprise at that, tilting her head a bit in a way he couldn’t help but find endearing.
“Did... did you already-?” She began to question, but he interrupted her with a few shaky coughs.
“heh, don’t worry about it.” He rasped once he could speak again. “i just started connecting the dots over time, i guess.”
It was not a full lie, but not a full truth. He knew that. Though in that moment, he couldn’t have put into words just why that was. It didn’t matter anymore anyway. Not here.
She frowned, as though upset with her past self for potentially giving away her true identity unbidden. But her attention was drawn back to him as he stiffened up and winced from another wave of pain.
As much as he wanted to keep focused on her, the wound he carried that nearly split him from shoulder to pelvis was pretty darn good at demanding his attention. He squeezed the front of his shirt tighter, feeling that it was still soaked. When he shakily lifted his free hand in front of his face, he could see the splashes of dark red staining his mitten.
For some reason it made him want to laugh, but he didn’t know why.
“Do not worry, it stops hurting after a little while.” She assured him softly, giving his arm a consoling rub.
She turned her head a bit then so he could more easily see the scar on her face. A faded, but still noticeable remnant of a gash that stretched from her cheek up to under her right eye.
His breathing went funny for a moment, as something akin to a mix of nausea and anger briefly bubbled up inside him. But it wasn’t long before he forced his weary grin back into place with practiced ease.
“good to know.” He rasped, wheezing out a chuckle. “was worried i might end up as half the skeleton i used to be.”
As if on cue, she laughed that brilliant laugh of hers. The kind that all but left her breathless. And though it was strained with the heavier emotions no doubt pressing down on her, it caused his grin to grow so much it made his cheekbones hurt.
He’d missed this. He did the best to avoid chuckling in turn though, as the action would no doubt further aggravate the gaping slash through his ribs.
Once she had calmed down and returned her ruby red gaze back to him, he shook off his ruined mitten, lifted his trembling free hand to her, and gave the best smile he could manage.
“the names… sans.” He croaked out. “sans the skeleton.”
As usual, he slipped the whoopee cushion he always kept in his hoodie sleeve up into his hand. Maybe the red stains all over it kind of ruined the effect, but he saw no sense in spoiling his routine if he could manage it.
The sound of artificial flatulence sounded somehow more hilarious when echoing through an ethereal void, he found.
She burst into laughter again, and his soul felt light.
...
Shortly after, he found himself being carried by Toriel down some winding, faintly glowing path through the darkness. Everywhere her paws stepped, the “ground” glowed for a few moments in the shape of her footprint before fading away. It reminded him faintly of waterfall, if waterfall also had a bunch of sparkling stardust floating around.
At the end of the path, in what could maybe be called “the distance”, he could see a place that was glowing far brighter, like a city floating in the middle of a pitch black sea. He tried not to look at it, it only made a new pain lash out at his soul.
Instead he looked back up at Toriel, and found that she had been looking down at him too. She played it off and returned her gaze to their destination, but Sans could see the conflicted emotions in her eyes. He debated staying silent, maybe just closing his eyes until whatever came next, but the words seemed to tumble out of him without his permission.
“so... i figure you must of seen what happened, huh?” He asked quietly, feeling the dulling pain of his wound thrumming beneath his phalanges.
Her breathing stalled and she momentarily struggled to look at him. The soft scarlet of her eyes was awash with what he was worried he may see there, guilt.
“Yes… we all did.” She admitted, holding him a little closer and swallowing hard. “Y-you… you fought bravely, my friend. Please just rest now.”
In a move that was all too familiar to him, she worked a smile back onto her face and quickly changed the subject.
“Everyone is waiting for you. Your brother included. Not too far from here.” She said, motioning towards the bright place in the distance. “He is a wonderful monster, so cheery and kind hearted despite all that has happened. I can see why you spoke so highly of him.”
His eyelights must have given away the inner surge of emotions he felt at the mention of his brother, as she added to her statement quickly.
“Oh, he wanted to be the one to come get you of course…” She assured him. “But it seems that since I am among those who have been here the longest, it is easier for me to traverse this place. I… I do not fully understand it myself yet.”
He hummed in acknowledgement, seeing the logic in what she was saying and not bothering to question it further. He was in no shape to imagine how such things worked here, though there was some small part of him that still held that interest regardless. Even if he didn’t want to admit it. He couldn't help but think for a moment about how the other monsters must of reacted to Toriel, their long lost queen, suddenly reappearing to them in this place. Given the circumstances... if they knew all that had led to this... it was easy to imagine the majority of them would be less then pleased to see her.
Perhaps there was more to the fact she'd come to meet him alone than it seemed. If that was the case, and even if it wasn't, he figured the best thing he could do for her was try to keep her smiling.
“what, you weren’t just eager to see me?” He teased, wheezing out a chuckle despite his best efforts when she gave him a playful glare for it. It left his ribs freshly aching, but it was worth it.
“Well, I am very happy to finally meet you in person, my friend.” She said upon regaining her smile. “Just as I was happy to meet your brother and the others… We all have so much to talk about… and all the time in the world now to get to know one another.”
Just as quickly as it had come, her smile faltered again, and he could feel the conflicted emotions from her powerful soul radiate off her. She swallowed hard and let out a shaky sigh.
“I know… it is difficult to feel anything truly positive after all that has happened.” She said, voice noticeably trembling. “But at least… it is over now, and we will all be together. Just try to remember that.”
Sans couldn't be sure if she was really talking to him, or herself with that last bit. In any case, she kept walking, a bit faster than before. She kept her eyes on the path ahead, but he just kept his gaze fixed on her.
“right…” He responded quietly, trepidation beginning to wind tighter around his soul.
He couldn’t just keep ignoring it. No matter how much he tried to avoid the thought, it was growing like a weed and inevitably kept choking out any opposing ones.
He should keep his mouth shut. He shouldn’t say anything. He should just go to sleep and let it happen. He should spare her from this. But...
His gaze met hers again, and he felt like his soul was being squeezed.
“tori… listen…”
The words had barely left him before they both were hit by a powerful wave of... something. Strong enough to make Toriel stop in her tracks and look around in alarm. Sans didn’t know exactly what it was, but he knew what it meant. It felt like all the vitality he had left drained from him in that moment.
“What on earth was that?” Toriel asked quietly, more to herself it seemed.
“nothing good.” Sans replied, internally wincing a bit as she looked down at him in surprise.
Her gaze silently demanded to know what he meant, fear creeping bit by bit into her expression. He sighed in defeat, knowing there was no backing out of it now. He could already feel the tips of his phalanges going numb, and hear a dull whine in the far distance.
“tori, we… we aren’t gonna make it back to the others.” He said, shutting his sockets briefly.
Toriel stiffened, and he could feel the faint prick of her claws against him as they slid out of their own accord.
“Wh-what?” She stammered, clearly hoping he was setting up a joke somehow. “What do you mean?”
The hollow expression on his face no doubt banished any hope she had that this was some poor excuse for humor on his part. Even though her eyes were painful to look at then, he did his best to keep his wits long enough to explain what he could.
“tori... the stuff with the human… it goes beyond just what they did to us.” He said, ignoring the now creeping numbness in his phalanges. “they... they are causing something a lot worse to happen… i dunno what it is. but i’m pretty sure it’s happened before. i’ve uh… seen the data.”
There was no time to explain that last part, and it reminded him too much of his encounter with the kid anyway. He had to get to the point.
“for some reason… everything disappears at the end of this. and i do mean… everything.”
Toriel just stared at him in silence, mouth opening and closing but not finding any words. He could tell she wanted to argue, but surely she was feeling what was coming just as much as he did. And just as it seemed she may finally reply, another wave, stronger than the last nearly knocked her off her feet.
She staggered, clutching him tightly in an effort not to drop him. Once the initial shock had passed, her gaze quickly snapped to the lights in the distance. Sans didn’t have to look to know they’d be flickering, feeling the effects of what was coming as well. The sparkling bits of stardust around them were also winking out one by one, leaving them in further darkness every moment. It wouldn’t be long now.
It was then that it became clear Toriel wasn’t going to question things further. She didn’t fully understand, but she really didn’t need to. The idea had sunk in, as he could sense the weight of it slowly taking hold of her. Despite all her fur keeping her warm from the chill of this place, she began shivering lightly.
“i’m sorry.” He murmured without thinking, resisting a far harsher shudder of his own. “this is what happens when people like me take it easy.”
He didn’t expect a reply to that. If anything he expected anger from her, as she realized just what his failure to stop the human had truly meant. But instead it was that guilt he’d seen from her before that made itself known.
“Please, you must not blame yourself.” She implored in a dazed tone. “You... you fought so hard to stop them in the end… If anything… I am to blame for asking you to protect them…”
He closed his sockets with a soft sigh at that, all while feeling the numbness had consumed his hands and feet entirely. He considered arguing with her further, insisting his lack of earlier action against the kid far outweighed her wanting to give them a chance. But there was just no time. There were better things to focus on in what little they had.
“well... for what it’s worth… i think your heart was in the right place, y’know?” He assured her, resting the side of his skull against her slightly. “you couldn’t have known. and i doubt the other humans were anywhere near as bad as this one, otherwise you wouldn’t have given this one a chance in the first place.”
He knew he couldn’t free her of her own guilt no more than she could free him of his. But he didn’t want her last thoughts to be those of self hatred. Not if he could help it anyway.
He tried to think of some last knock knock joke, knowing it was the only real sort of comfort he could reliably offer her. Pathetic as that was. But the increasing signs of their certain doom’s rapid approach all around them kind of made it hard to come up with any decent material.
It was her who ended up speaking again first, in a surprisingly calm tone all things considered.
“Then... this is it?” She asked, her eyes growing hazy. “Why then… why were we brought here? I..."
She turned her head away, stifling what sounded like a sob.
"I never was even able... to find my children..." She croaked out, the words heavy with despair. "Wh-what was the point of any of this..?"
It was a question he could never answer. It was unlikely anyone really could. But she knew that. The question was rhetorical, but he played along anyway. If only to keep from giving into the icy fear that wanted so badly to ensnare him.
“i wish i knew...” He replied weakly, breath hitching a bit. “guess it’s just... one last dance before the curtain call.”
He meant it to be that last twinge of humor he wanted to get out. But the strain in his voice robbed it of any joviality, making it humorous in a different way perhaps, but not how he intended. Maybe if his funny bone hadn’t just gone numb as well, it would have been better.
Toriel didn’t reply for a long moment, staring at where the bright lights in the distance had once been. Now they were so dull, they were barely visible amongst the sea of black. He struggled not to think of his brother and the others, frightened and having no idea of the secondary and final fate that was bearing down on them. Or perhaps that had already claimed them.
Instead Toriel’s voice brought his wavering focus back to her, as she subtly tightened her grip on him. Her face remained impressively stoic as she spoke, even as a few tears silently spilled from her eyes.
“Will I… ever see you again, my friend?” She asked softly, looking down at him as though trying to memorize every element of his face.
The question was so raw, he wondered if she’d even meant to speak it aloud. His soul got all tight in his ribcage, and he felt what may have been long withheld tears of his own wanting to well up in his sockets. But he kept his usual smile in place all the same. If only for her sake.
Part of him wanted to lie again, to give her some last comfort before the end, but for some reason… he found he just couldn’t. Not with her looking at him like that.
“can’t know that for sure.” He admitted, giving a small shake of his skull. “we don’t have any say in what comes next. but... there’s a possibility that after everything’s gone, things might... start anew... reset, y’know?”
All of his limbs had gone numb now, and his vision blurred to the point he could no longer make out her features. Whether that was from tears or from the world’s imminent destruction, he didn’t know.
“you can be sure if we end up back at the start of all this...” He gave her a wink. “i’ll come knocking again as always.”
Those statements surely must have confused her, but the sentiment seemed to be enough that he could feel that she’d stopped trembling, and a flicker of warmer emotion emanated from her soul. Like a spark in the ever growing darkness.
“Perhaps then… there is at least a chance things will be better next time.” She said quietly, and he felt her chin rest upon the top of his skull as she held him close.
He closed his sockets and pressed a little closer to her in return, feeling his awareness starting to steadily slip away.
As much as he would have liked to, he couldn’t share her optimism. Not after this. But she spoke with that same integrity that had made him soften enough that day at the Ruin’s door to break his personal rule against making promises. And just like back then, despite everything, she was getting to him again.
As foolish as it was, he allowed himself to hold on to that possibility as the last wave hit, eradicating everything in their world along with it.
“yah… maybe next time.”
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NCIS thoughts to make up for the fact I'm horrible at liveblogging
I found this in my drafts. Since I wrote this, I finished s8, so it’s maybe not entirely accurate anymore? But it’s still a lot of words and I agree with most of it so I’m just gonna post it anyway. :)
So in the last few weeks I've binge watched my way through seasons 6 and 7 of NCIS and the first few episodes of s8. And I'm clearly horrible at liveblogging - sorry - so have my thoughts on NCIS so far (still less than halfway through?!). Before you read the rest of this, I should say that overall, I very much enjoy this show. Like, a lot a lot. So please take the bits of criticism in here with love.
I love Gibbs still. I really, really wish they'd give him more stuff to actually *do* in most of the episodes, and also have him smile more because Mark Harmon's smile melts my heart, but I love him even without that too. I mostly wish for more Gibbs stuff in most episodes because I feel like Harmon's not given much leeway to show the depth of the character beyond just "tragic backstory" type episodes, and I think there's a lot of potential there. Interested to see if this changes going forward, but...yeah. I do miss earlier Gibbs.
Tony, Tony, Tony! I did not like you at first/you were a problematic fave. But now Tony has to be my second favorite or possibly rivaling Gibbs for my favorite. Here they definitely were able to add great depth and I love it. I love how his goofy persona sometimes breaks down. I love how he's such a good investigator. Aaaaahhhhhhhh *screams with love*
On that note, wish we saw more Gibbs & Tony interaction - though I can understand why they split them up often. But...yes. I want these two going to crime scenes together and casing places together, please
Ziva! I love Ziva's growth from s3 to s8. I was so-so on her in s3, but I very much like her character by s6. Her dad is an asshole. She's cool and competent and not girly. Not that there's anything wrong with being girly, but as someone who's been a tomboy all her life, it's always nice to see it onscreen, done well--it doesn't happen too often.
Ziva and Tony--god, I wish they'd get together already. They'd be good for each other. Of course, I believe I have several more seasons of mutual pining?
It's been great to watch Ziva and Gibbs get along, too. Another pair I'd like to see go on missions together more often.
Abby! Abby is awesome. So awesome. I love her. I somewhat violently disagree with her whole angst over the Gibbs/Reynosa case at the end of season 7, but that might just be because I'm a little more protective and less rule-abiding. But anyway, I could spend the whole post gushing about Abby. She's wonderful.
McGee is... probably my least favorite. I know people didn't like Ziva at first when she replaced Kate. Ignoring production/cast issues and all that, I would've liked to see a universe where we didn't get McGee as a main character and kept Kate instead. He's a little too...boring and occasionally mean for my tastes. Although, as an RPF writer myself, I do think it's absolutely HILARIOUS that he's apparently become a famous author for writing what's essentially RPF of his co-workers. 😂 And I mean, I don't HATE him. I like him, usually. He's just not my favorite.
Ducky!! Ducky is always awesome. Um, yeah. That’s it. And his interaction with Palmer and/or Gibbs is always HILARIOUS.
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(y)our name 2 - one (m)
> genre : fluff, angst, light smut
> pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (f)
> total words : 6.7k
> warnings/content : friends to lovers, unrequited love, slice of life; a LOT of cursing, oc is... chaotic, thirsty, panicked; Bad Editing Le Retour™
You could not look any less serious. With your badly dried hair, your face glazing from the cream you just applied in a rush and your whole frame, vibrating in childish excitement. “You know what, Guk? We can decide to make it weird or we can decide to be two grownups, responsible and smart and like reliable and- and be like 'Well yeah we had sex, whatever, it’s not gonna change anything!'”
There's a heavy silence blaring in the hallway. You're too ecstatic to let it affect you but still, you wish he'd appear a little less impenetrable. He's not giving you anything to work with. And even though you can't imagine any other alternative than the one you just suggested, he has to confirm he's willing to go along. “Right?” You're defying him with your gaze, hands attached to your waist, head tilted to the side. The smile stretching your lips grow less natural and more rigid. Jungkook simply shrugs, shifting about on his feet.
“I guess you’re right.” He says but he doesn't look like he means it. He looks preoccupied. And a thought, disturbing, invades your mind. Something is burdening him. And from the frown on his adorable face, it's at least mildly serious.
“Are you okay?” You’re pouting as you ask, not meaning to tender him the way you do but you can see his troubled heart all over, in his stance, in his giant eyes. You feel bad for being the idiot concerned about that night when there is something wrong with him. Anything could have happened during those excruciatingly long and testing three weeks. Your merciless dumb ass may have missed a drama in your favourite boy’s life and the fact that you could have actually let it happen breaks your heart. “Is something wrong?”
He gazes at you, wide-eyed. They’re shining with a curious apprehension. It’s as if he wants to say something. The tiny tremble of his lips hints there is something, just right there, at the tip of his tongue. A simple little push would have the words out. “Tell me.”
Instead, he shakes his head, one of his hands rising to mess with the already chaotic pile of dark locks. “S'nothing. I’m good.”
“Jungkook.” He’s already down a few steps, his back turned to you. “You’re not gonna tell me?” There’s a tiny little edge in your voice, as if your heart's been wounded. It brings him to spin around to peek your way. You’re not that stupid. You know three weeks of break in a friendship that has, in almost a decade and a half, never had any before, must impact it somehow. You detest the idea. “You know you can tell me anything.”
“I know.” He says, softly. He seems all tiny, hunched over as he is, several stairs down.
“Still, you’re not gonna say?” He looks up from his shoes. There's this contemplating pout on his mouth. Again, he looks like he's debating internally.
“If- It’s not important. If I need to, I will, ok?” Your heart stings. But you want to trust him.
“You promise?”
Jungkook rolls his eyes, biting a smile back. “I don’t need to, you already know.” Grinning you jump on the step next to him, wrapping with great difficulty an arm around his shoulders, you lead him down the stairs.
You're rambling loud in the resonating hallway about how you spent the whole night watching your favourite zombie movies in prevision of the day you're about to spend. He doesn't need to hear you say it all as he already knows. His phone along with him didn't have any sleep last night, as you kept sending him messages of extreme importance regarding all the technics and strategies you were actively learning watching the films and how useful they were all going to be for the zombie apocalypse-themed escape game you had made reservations for.
You are so excited, you can't contain yourself. Finding him back after having missed him so much and for so long, you just can't accept to spend any more time without him. Which is ridiculous. You two would have to get back to your lives and go to work for starters, but not now. Now you've dumped your shift on your kindest colleague at work, quite last minute, so you could have the whole day with Jungkook. Planning on going to that escape game you two had been talking about for months, making a checklist of all the places you could visit afterwards to eat and take pretty pictures if he wanted to, adding a list of the potentially interesting movies now in theater if you still have time left. Yes, you really did miss him. You don't want to say it out loud as it's been said enough the night before, but you hope he knows from how hard you hug his arm against your heart that you're still overwhelmed by the joy brought from him filling the staggering void in your chest again as if he'd never left it.
Your phone lights up on a too-familiar face and a name you feel too uncomfortable to pronounce out loud. It’s Namjoon. Again. You see Jungkook’s eyes catch it before you turn it off, and they divert awkwardly as if terrified to meet your own. Your heart stings again. Like a sharp scorching needle piercing through the thing. You can’t bear the awkwardness. You used to be able to talk about anything. Even some things that require litres of liquid courage and lead to consequences such as burning ears and heavy sweating. But never anything has just been brushed over. The realization that something is installing itself between you hits. A new norm, where some subjects must remain unmentioned. It’s horrifying so quickly you blurt out, “We broke up!” Jungkook looks up from his bubble tea, eyes large like saucers.
“Yeah, I heard so. From Jimin.” He doesn’t ask for more information and it’s upsetting. You want him to know he can ask anything. Anything that is yours, anything that is you is his too.
He should know it all.
“It’s just- he is- he is not an asshole but I don’t know, I guess we didn’t agree on everything. He wanted me to choose between you and him.” Your eyebrows raise, head shaking in remaining disbelief. He had some nerves. You felt bad momentarily because it meant Namjoon believed your relationship to be strong enough to face this kind of ultimatum. But he was so rude about it! So rude and assertive, it didn’t even give you the willing to clarify things up with him, to sort things out, consider a compromise. As if you’d ever sincerely only dare think about giving up Jungkook for anyone or anything else. You would never.
Jungkook smiles around the straw he's gnawing on and you chuckle. You're sharing the same mischievous glance you used to when younger, you would find some shenanigans to ditch a third party you were not inclined to stay with so you two could play and be yourselves exclusively together. Like a secret handshake, you have your secret smile. There you know you'll be fine.
After some time, he feels comfortable enough to bring Namjoon back to the conversation. It's just to apologize again about what happened. He doesn't leave on any more information, any answer to the burning question you've carried with you since the incident but you decide to not push it. It was fucking weird, this whole mess of a situation. So unlike him to hit someone. So unlike you to turn your back on him as if there would ever be a valid reason for you to stop loving him. A piece of the puzzle is missing, however, you trust him with it. Surely, he'll give it to you one day and that's fine.
You're cutting the calm quietness surrounding you with a sudden burst of giggles. He squints at you, eyebrows frowned as if he already knows and it makes you laugh harder.
“Shut up!” He groans while trying to reach for your phone on the table. Your reflexes are cat-like though, and before he knows it, the hilarious video you shot today of him, fighting incredibly poorly a zombie, plays for the two of you to enjoy. He's screaming so loud, cursing a bunch of profanities you've never heard him say, and when his ass hits the ground without the actor touching him you're throwing your head back, crying in hilarity. It's been torturing you for the past two hours. Each time your brain starts to putter, the video comes knocking and you just can't help the bubbling mess to rumble from your chest. You only stop when he starts to threaten you, saying he is going to leave and head home.
You really don't want to go home. Or more like, you don't mind going home but he has to come and stay with you. Why couldn't you have been born as Siamese twins?
Sticking the lollipop out of his mouth, he winces in pure disgust, “That'd be horrible!”
“What? Why? It'd be awesome! We'd be stuck to each other all the time!” Which is an enchanting thought -maybe it needs to be precise. You're sure he thinks the same. The grimace intensifying on his face is just comedy.
“We'd be siblings, by the way. Not best friends. That wouldn't work.”
“Let's hot glue the shit out of our hips so we can test this theory out!”
“What are you even-” You don't interrupt him, he does himself, deeming it's pointless. Halting his steps, sighing deep and loud as he stares down at you like you're crazy. Maybe you've turned a little bit insane. That's what too much Jungkook and sugar do to you: you're sincerely considering the whole hot-glueing thing. “Ok. You're going to bed.” It's a gasp that answers him and like a dad who knows how to handle his misbehaving child, he cuts you off before you even get to say anything.
“___, it’s 3 am. Don’t you have work tomorrow?”
“I start at 5 pm!” You pester, hitting the ground with your foot.
“Still. Don’t be ridiculous. You need sleep.” His huge eyes blink slowly, his face contorting weirdly as he contains a yawn. He's the one who needs sleep but-
“But-”
“You really did miss me, huh?”
He's all smug eyebrow-dance and wiggly shoulders so you decide to simply be honest, that'll shut him off. “Of course I did!” He tsks, not having expected this as he stares off the distance, looking anywhere but you. You pout, hitting his ugly sneakers with your own boots. “Why do you keep wearing those things?” The offending bulky things are daring you to criticize them further.
“You don’t know fashion.”
“Oh is that fashion? Ok, I guess I really don’t know then.” When you look up at him, grinning, he has that look on. Head slightly tilted to the side, tight-lipped smile, the one that pinches the skin around his mouth into a tiny dot, eyes looking soft but implacable. It’s the look he has when he’s telling you off and it makes you whine indignantly. “I don’t wanna go home yet.”
“But you will.” He decides, sticking the lollipop back against the inside of his cheek, gaze all ominous before he's throwing you on his shoulders. You'd scream if it were not the middle of the night and you didn't mind having people calling the police on you two for night fuss.
It's not the end anyway. You're dramatic and greedy because it feels natural to be in these circumstances but you know you two will be fine. You should let him go home to sleep without fearing losing him again.
There's no doubt in your mind. Still, instead of your brain to sink in the happiness and let you fall peacefully asleep on your two ears, the uncooperative thing just wouldn't let you rest. Keeping you wide awake and alert, bringing thoughts way too joy-filled to not render you giddy and fidgety.
I guess it wasn’t that terrible. It wasn’t bad at all. You did apprehend it. Not only were you two to start hanging out again after a pause that felt like an eternity, but you had also to do so after spending the night that you did together. It seemed easy enough on his part. Maybe because he seemed already preoccupied with something else. Either way, it went smoothly. Like riding a bike. Something you never just stop knowing how to do. Jungkook and you, it’s natural. It’s pure fated affection, there’s no place for any lagging. This you confirmed today.
As the days pass, the routine reinstalls itself, with morning breakfasts shared, impromptu hellos, and stray kitties pictures sent out throughout the day.
It feels wonderful. You can appreciate what you used to have with a whole new level of intensity. It’s like hovering over the Earth on a candy cloud. You’re not lucky, you’re blessed, gifted. Nothing is that upsetting. Nothing is that tiring. Everything fixes before it even breaks because there’s Jungkook and the happiness he brings everywhere along with him.
You’re not that bad at being cool about the whole one-night thing. Not as good as him but still good enough. You manage to prevent anything potentially compromising to slip, refract any impulsive gesture towards his arms or his chest or his thighs even. You do end up blushing furiously sometimes when an unexpected careless babe falls through his lips, or when he mutters your name quietly to bring your attention to him and the breathless calls from this one night remind themselves to you. And of course, it would be like this. How could it not? How could you just say each other’s name so casually when you heard them being moaned by the other the way you did. That’s what you think. But he doesn’t seem on the same page as you. And that puzzles you. Not greatly, you know him to be more used to unattached sexual affections, but still.
How could he not be affected when you’re pretty sure you screamed his name? That’s the other thing about the fateful night and its consequences, the more time passes the less you remember every detail of it, and you dread it. You wish it would stay intact, untouched in your head, as grandiose as it was when it happened.
It’s worrying. How obsessed you are about the incident. But not for the reasons one could expect.
Your friendship is not at stake per se. Or maybe it is in a way, and that’s why you’re not presenting yourself to him with those thoughts.
It’s not about Jungkook or more so, it’s less about the feelings you adorn for him, and more about his skills. Because he does have skills. You have no idea where they come from. If he’s spent years secretly attending sexology seminars or if he was born an incubus and for some reasons you knew nothing about that, point of the matter is: he blew your mind. He ruined you, opened up a door inside you had no idea was there and it felt so good during and after, that you find yourself feeling miserable at the idea that maybe, you won’t ever fall upon a lover like him.
Namjoon was fine. He didn’t have the best stamina and was a bit too stiff to plant and bloom passion as intense as Jungkook managed to in few minutes but he was ok. Taehyung was fine too. Perhaps tending to be a bit selfish, forgetting to give back if you didn’t remind him but for the most part decent -he did have a huge shrine that wasn’t so handy in practice but still managed to entice you and make you squirm before you realized that, except for pain and discomfort, the hugeness of it didn’t bring much more.
And that’s the thing that annoys you the most: they used to be good. They used to be in your mind more than good enough. You didn’t question the possibility of having more. It was alright. You didn’t come each time. You never came more than once in one encounter. But it was fine for your standards. You didn’t know any better, that there could be more to it. Now Jungkook swirled in, wrecked you, leaving you a satisfyingly empty shell lain in a puddle of your own arousal and that’s the mind-blowing sex you want to have for the rest of your life. The thought that maybe he is one exceptionally proficient guy, member of a very rare and exclusive club of fucking abnormally phenomenal lovers that has the secret access to a secret magic to Orgasms -with a capital O because what you thought to identify as orgasms before definitely are not the same things as what you experienced with your best friend- it’s depressing and horrifying and makes you want to start a fucking riot against the universe and maybe against men for not all being as good. Because they should. Fuck, there would be no more cheating partners, no more lonely solo underdogs, eternal peace in the world if everyone dared be as good of a lover as Jungkook.
Maybe you’re over exaggerating. Maybe. Probably not.
How, how in the hell are you supposed to just brush that memory like a simple anecdote, marking your history like any other tiny souvenir would, like that first time he cried in front of you right after he scratched his hands falling from his skateboard and you had kissed it better, or that time he lied for you so you wouldn’t get your ass beaten by your parents after having skipped two classes to go make out behind the school with Kim Seokjin.
Well, you can’t. It’s impossible. And at first, it’s fine. It just means you spend a little more time in the shower, you're a little slower at work because you have to constantly bring your brain back to the task ahead, you’re overall a little more angsty and every time you meet up with Jungkook, there’s a little apprehension. It’s a little less 'I can’t wait to see that dumbass’ cute face even though he might bully me for not having showered', and a little more 'I’m going to meet with my good old friend who happens to be the man who fucked my brains out that one time, so maybe I should put on that skirt'.
The permanent tension doesn’t last that long. He’s too much like he’s always been. You’re too happy with him like you’ve always been.
Things go along as they should. You repress actively your deviant brain, decide you’re going to get over him because he is not the only man on this fucking Earth and there’s no way, there’s no fucking way -it’d be too unfair- he is the only good man worthy of your time.
Soon you realize that in fact, he is. In a way or another, by some curious black magic or something, he managed to make himself the only man left on this Earth. What a dick, you think. Because now he’s gotten back to his life, his awesome life of an awesome dude, unbothered, untroubled by whatever the fuck happened when you, on the other hand, are all broken.
There's this thing about you. You used to fall a bit in love with every person you’d see when you'd be single. There would be this tall guy with his beanie low on his forehead pushing his fringe in his eyes, reading some manga on the train, and you’d start making up a sweet history for him and you’d wish he’d look up for a second and fall in love with you too. But he’d leave without noticing you and then this young woman would walk in with a dude on her toes. She’d look saddened while the guy would look annoyed and you’d start thinking about where you’d like to take that girl out and what cute pet name she’d like you to give her when you’re not even into girls -allegedly. You’re desperate for love. You’ve always been. Which could be surprising as instead of having a childhood deprived of it as often have the people who grow to be very demanding when it comes to affection, you were spoiled with it. Instead of curing you, the force-feed love rendered you addicted and you've always wanted more. More people to meet and discover and adore. Rarely enough. Except when you’re in a relationship. You’re not simply loyal you’re fully invested. You want to be good, to be the best, bring the most. You know how to direct all your time and attention and aspiration on one person without wanting to look away.
And that’s what you need again. Maybe. Someone to prove you that sex is not it all. You never thought that before stupid Jungkook but now, you're questioning it. He did break you. You think constantly about it, not wondering what compliment that one stranger like to hear, what place that other stranger would love you to make them discover, you're wondering if they could make you feel good. If their bodies would be as hard and hot as Jungkook's. If their sexes could fill you up and stretch you, hard and right the way his did. And fuck Jungkook because not only did he change your way of considering people -which is fucked up, by the way, you feel like a creep every time you catch yourself doing it-, he made them all uninteresting. None, even in fantasy, do it for you. You don’t want them to touch you. You don’t want to touch them. You wonder what’s under their clothes without really wanting to know. That’s not that surprising. You’ve always been a very emotional person and perhaps it’s just not something for you. Perhaps you can’t fuck without affection. But at the same time, it’s what you want, it’s what you need. Just purely wild and relieving sex.
It’s the reason why you end up grabbing your phone, tapping your passcode in a fury because the print sensory thingy won't work and you’re already pissed enough as it is. Wrist hurting, breathing laboured, pussy quivering uselessly around nothing, you quickly get to your chat log with Jungkook. You’re mad. It’s the umpteenth time that you try to get yourself off and end up on the verge of crying from frustration because you can, physically, feel yourself craving for a cock to fill you up -possibly his. It’s the worst feeling. A degree of desperation like you never have felt before. And it is insane because never in a million years could you have imagined that sometimes a woman, and you of all, could have your cunt yearning for something that bad. It’s like it builds and builds, not phenomenal but seemingly good enough, and then it snaps but as you come, you feel the lacking spoiling completely your already low-quality orgasm. One of the worst experience of your life. You’re enraged and delirious from the dissatisfaction and that’s why you end up sending him this message:
you : thinking bout u
Read. Right away. There are the three little dots blinking on the screen, your brain adds a mental drumroll to accompany it. And then they disappear. Five minutes pass, you’re dying, feel like your pussy might catch a cold staying open like that -which is quite dumb and lewd but you’re so upset, you spent so much energy on attempting to get off that you can’t even get yourself to roll over to the side (it’s not even like he’s going to teleport himself there and just slip inside at any instant). The dots don’t come back so you decide to text him again, a bit more apprehensively.
you : do u think about me?
jungkook : are you making a YouTube video?
You’re confused for a while, reading multiple times the text over, simply not getting it until the phone vibrates again in your palm.
jungkook : like a lyric prank
Ah.
you : Ah no. And why would I chose a song from 2009 to do that
jungkook : It’s not 2009 and cause you’re lame like that
This is absolutely not going the way you planned, you think finally closing your legs together. Then you remember that you didn't plan shit.
you : 😐
jungkook : What do you want anyway? Why aren’t you sleeping
jungkook : ?
you : I just told you
jungkook : I don’t know what you mean
Is he messing with you? Or does he sincerely not know? Fuck, you hate texting. You never know what the person on the other line genuinely means. You're not being a coward tonight though, so you send:
you : You said to tell you if I ever think about you
The torturous three musketeers are back, cackling right in your face as you stare, for an eternity, wishing for something, anything, to replace them. It’s outrageously long. It’s like he’s typing his eulogy or something. Until the dots are replaced but by worst than any text, no text at all. They disappear and nothing else comes through. The embarrassment is so overwhelming, your body finds the strength to fully wince, your legs jerking up to your chest and your whole body falling sideways from just the cringe. What a fucking idiot. Your face buried in the pillow, you wail and groan in emotional pain. Then it shakes again, the cellphone, the cursed object you shouldn’t be allowed to own. You grab it with your eyes shut close, terrified at what the screen has to show you. When you gather the courage to look, you frown: it’s a link. A URL you don’t recognize. You tap on it, gnawing nervously on your lip as Safari takes forever to load the page and once it's done, and the title of the page appears, you wish it wouldn’t have loaded at all. Fucking hell. You’re going to die. You’re dying of embarrassment tonight, it’s decided.
'69 Best Masturbation Tips for Female Orgasm'. It’s an article about masturbation. He sent you that. To help probably. Because he doesn’t want to do it himself and doesn't know how to say it. Of fucking course he doesn’t want to and oh-my-fucking-god how could you have been so fucking stupid.
you : Sorry
There are the dots again but you can’t bear to see them again so quickly you type a desperate:
you : I’m really sorry, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. Sorry sorry JK please just forget I said anything sorry good nighttt 😅 😅
It’s the worst moment of your entire life. And this thought, the thought that it’s so terrible, nothing will ever compete for that title, is the sole reason why you decide to not suffocate yourself to death in your pillows. The worst just happened.
You’ll just avoid him. For a few days. If he lets you. He probably will. The poor guy is probably feeling even more awkward than you. You were acting so normal, regular platonic friendliness and suddenly he learns that you’ve been lurking over his ass for all this time. For fuck's sake. You’re the worst. There's a tiny voice in your head that's not a bitch and keeps telling you that a couple of days would suffice and eventually your cheeks’ crimson will reduce and progressively the whole thing will be lost in your memory like those events that sometimes fade so far away, you’re not even sure if they were ever real or simple dreams. Except this one is a fucking nightmare and as you toss and turn around relentlessly for the whole night you’re sure you won’t ever forget it did happen and the shame that you felt.
And you’re wrong about that. Because as you wake up the next morning after having successfully fallen asleep for an hour around 6 am, the memory is blurry. It’s flimsy. The burning devastating emotions are gone like they hardly ever existed and you can sigh in relief as you stretch out of bed, body sore and rusted but mind fresh and enthusiastic. You feel like you’ve just woken up from a power nap -you know the fatigue will strike you half-dead later, around 10 am or 2 pm, you’re not sure yet-, feeling positive and wanting to move the world with how productive you feel like being today.
And then your initial hypothesis is proven right. As you reach for your phone by rote, meaning to check the time and your notifications as you usually do, you fall upon the text Jungkook sent you right after you shut your phone off, the night before.
jungkook : It’s okay
That’s it. Hell befalls once again on your stupid self. It’s like last night, all over again. Your eyes well up, aiming to fill up the tenuous rivers dried up on your cheeks. You fall on your face back in bed, yelling full-on in your mattress. It’s horrible. It’s horrible. It’s horrible.
“Are you okay?!” You hear Eun ask from the other side of the wall. Her voice is all hoarse from sleep and now you feel even worse for having woken her up with your idiocy. Stupid and selfish you are.
“Yes, sorry!” There’s a loud thump as you assume she lets herself fall back to sleep. You’re glad she’s too tired to register the tremble in your voice and the obvious desperation even you could decipher.
'It’s okay' with no emoji, no nothing. The emptiest text you’ve ever received. It’s worse than one of those 'ok' assholes send sometimes as an answer to a long invested text. You know what it means. It means it is not okay. He is too sweet to tell you off the way he should or wants to. He knows you’re not an inconsiderate bitch and that you will read through the pixels with this simple two words that it is not okay, he’s not interested and he feels bad but that’s just how things are.
The alarm of your phone rings loud. You’re reminded of your stupid duty you’re supposed to attend to: your job. You feel like a teenager again. Well, in reality, you never really stopped feeling like one. When something would happen, you expected the whole world to stop for you to deal with it. You were too spoiled as a kid. People would actually stop. You remember walking down the playground, eager to play at something but not knowing what and sauntering about looking out for your different options and all the kids, no matter what they were busy playing at would stop and stare, sharing quick nods of approval before one of them, one for each group, would walk up to you and try to convince you to stay with them. Everybody liked you at the time, everybody always loved you without you completely realizing, only occasionally would you suspect it with a sheepish mischievous smile hidden in the corner of your lips.
And now you’re twenty-three and someone, the person who’s supposedly is always cherishing you, doesn’t want you. Which is fair. Fair enough. You’re friends and it’s weird for him, you get it. But he said that you could call him whenever you thought about him. He said it. And he said something else. You can’t remember properly now but you remember what you thought at the time: that he was suggesting you’d do it again. That happened. Whatever the exact terms were, he did hint at wanting other times to happen. Then again, he did say a lot of things that night. And obviously, those were spurred in the heat of the moment. You guess he’s smooth along with being talented. His words are part of the whole thing and for good reasons, it works like a charm.
But, therefore, of fucking course, you’d take it seriously. Of course, it’d take roots in your weak mind and bloom into invading, overpowering desires.
You’re pissed at him now, you realize as you struggle to apply mascara from how much your hand is shaking. You’re angry because he is the asshole behind all that. Even if he did not do it on purpose, he’s made you like that, fucking obsessing over his fucking dick like it’s the only one left and you’re meant to save humanity from extinction. He didn’t have to be that good to you. And why would he say those stuff if he didn’t mean them? That’s fucking sick. And why does he not want you anyway? He didn’t have a problem with you being best friends the first time. He sure enjoyed it, right?
Right?
Your memory is hazy.
You’re not sure if you just made it all up from the pleasure you were experiencing. He is good. But maybe you suck? Maybe he just went along and concluded with you because he was too sweet to back up and stop in the middle of the course of action but in fact, he didn’t enjoy it. You didn’t do a lot, that much is true. You didn’t feel too bad about it before because you were sure he still had his fair share of pleasure but now that you’re not sure, now that you consider the idea that maybe your brain affected the real turn of events to spare your ego and feed that magical experience you had, you feel like shit. It must be it. With all those girls, beautiful, liberated you’ve seen him with over the years, he must have had expected and wanted more. He didn’t end up that talented with no one to practice with. And there you were, awkward potato who couldn’t keep the lights on -which apparently was such a big deal-, way more inexperienced than you thought yourself to be, giving him the worst sex of his life. Of fucking course, he wouldn’t want to do it again.
It’s decided you’re never meeting him again. It’s not his fault. It’s yours. You suck balls. Or rather you don’t and that’s the issue.
Fuck. This is so embarrassing. It's been a couple of hours since the curse text he's sent, and you don't feel any better. If only you could focus on those dumb coffee orders and forget about your stupid pussy for a second.
It’s a little easier after a few mistaken cups of weird lattes, when your manager, perched like an owl on a bar stool, starts staring at you like she’s about to fly to you and bite your head off.
It gets harder when you finish your shift and your mind is left to think about him again and the atrocious humiliation. You’re cringing the whole ride home. Having to stop yourself from growling out loud in frustration, not wanting to freak people out by making them think you’re rabid or something. And it turns the hardest when you have to walk past his door and ignore it, when it’s right fucking there, to quickly flee in your apartment. You’re sweating and shaking once you’re inside, pressing yourself against the door, praising the barrier protecting your ego from him.
Wow. That’s insane but you don’t want to see him ever again. Or at least not until it quiets down. It’s too much. You know there shouldn’t be a seat for shame in your friendship but you can’t help it. It’s just Jungkook but it’s also the best lover you’ve ever had and, you can't deny it anymore, an extremely attractive man. And you’ve humiliated yourself in front of that man.
It’s the reason behind your avoiding him. You don’t even take the time to think about it and try to rationalize, think about what he might be feeling, think about the implications of your action, about how childish you’re being, you just do it.
At first, it’s a blast. Knowing you would work hard to precisely avoid him makes it more bearable for your existence. You don’t wake up with an awful tummy ache and a migraine just considering having to talk to him and act fine and casual as if you’re not dying inside. You won’t see him so it’s fine. It requires a little effort though. A little checking the area for safety with an unsuspecting Eun. A little hustling as you have to steal all of your colleagues' early shifts so that you don’t have to be home for breakfast and see him land in your living-room to eat with you. A little stealth when you have to come home as you do in the early afternoons and you don’t know for sure if he’s not working from home, eagerly tending the ear to try and catch you coming home. His ear is very sharp and you know when you don’t pay attention and are loud climbing up the stairs, he can hear you from his apartment. He told you before that he recognizes the sound of your stepping, different from Eun’s and that’s how he knows you’re home safe when you get off work at ungodly hours of the night, and knows to send you a sweet encouraging text when he hears you leave ungodly early.
It’s because of those messages that you start feeling too bad to handle. The first time, in a panic, you had answered the text with a raccoon gif. He responded with a sympathetic laughing emoji and you decided you sucked faking casualty and would simply restrain yourself from answering his morning texts. It’s been cleared out already that you should not be allowed to use a fucking cellphone.
He's too powerful though. The kindness of his texts and the guilt you’re facing directly proportionate to it adds to the fact that you miss him. It’s been five days and you miss him immensely. It’s when Eun who asks why the boys haven’t been around in so long that you realize you’re really being a bitch. He deserves better than that. Therefore, laying down on the sofa, legs propped on the armchair, naked feet shaking in anxiety in the air, you pick up your phone because you never learn apparently.
you : you wanna have a ““““spooky””””” movie night? Netflix put up the scream movies + pizzas
It's natural enough. Doesn't mention anything risky and that's perfect.
jungkook : I’m in busan rn
you : What? Why are you in Busan?
you : And since when?
jungkook : Two days. I’m coming home tomorrow night
jungkook : For a seminar
jungkook : And you would know if you were not so busy avoiding me
Well, here goes the not-mentioning-anything.
Another quirk of yours: when your mind is set on something, hardly anything can make your aim waver.
you : *gasp* I don’t appreciate being called out like that
Nicely played.
jungkook : Don’t care
But he's going to be difficult.
you : 😐 😐
jungkook : Are you embarrassed about the other night? That’s fucking dumb
you : You fucking dumb
jungkook : Why are you so embarrassed? I told you it’s fine
you : But it’s not though. I feel terrible still
jungkook : There’s no reason everybody gets horny
you : But I rubbed it in your face when clearly you don’t want it I’m verysorry
jungkook : Stop apologizing
And again, as always, it just goes smoothly. You don't understand this. It used to be so simple being friends with him. But lately, it's like everything is a challenge. You always doubt before being proven that yes, things are like they've always been. You have no reason to doubt your friendship, nor him. The weight lifted off of your chest feels incredible as it leaves, bringing a few relief tears to the corner of your right eye. It's the end of it, at last.
jungkook : who said I don’t want it
a/n : yes, it’s happening, (y)our name is back. Way sooner than expected but it’s kookie’s bday so i felt i had to give him another chance. So, there should be 2 other chapters to follow, all in reader’s pov. I’d really like to know what you guys think. I feel like it’s too messy (it took me a while to write and i’ve been feeling stressed out so i think it transpires too much). in any case, i really hope you enjoyed, i know a lot of you anticipated a sequel so i hope i don’t disappoint. i’ll try to have the second part up next week-end. until then, peace out boys scout!
& a happy birthday to our angel, please bid your well wishes hard enough so they can reach him.
Hugs and kisses and love to you all. 💜
▲ Comment ‘tag’ if you want to be tagged when I post the next part! ▲
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