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griffinborn · 2 days ago

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ARCANE ENDING ANALYSIS

****obviously SPOILERS ahead****

Everyone is debating whether jinx is alive or dead so here’s my thoughts first I’m going to try and explain my view on WHY jinx is alive but made to look dead and then I’m going to prove HOW she is Alive. And why air vents have nothing to do with it.

WHY JINX IS ALIVE

With ARCANE coming to an end we are to believe that The piltover part of the show is over, the reason?

Well… we all think this season felt rushed, the beats didn’t land properly and character development felt shallow. That is because it was rushed it’s been 9 years since they started writing this story arc and they wanted to end this story arc that had to end at this point in this way.

if they could have produced the more quickly over a shorter period of time they would have streched the arcs and have had better pacing but it’s a long time and they wanted to move on to the next arc of this universe.

That doesn’t mean this is the last we’ll see of these characters or even piltover as a lot of piltover champions haven’t been introduced because this wasn’t the arc for that yet. We get hints of that as we see sevika become a councillor but be met with distrust and being looked down upon so now the class division and healing will go on in the background as we explore different parts of runterra (cause the writers don’t have the competence to write engaging happy stories).

The characters will come back to begin the next arc of their character growth.

Take Vi for example she is not even a person in her own right, right now she’s just ‘dirt beneath Caitlyn’s fingernails’ that does not seem like a fulfilling way to live your life for anyone. But makes sense for Vi, she needs to grow relax not be a person for a while because for her being a person means sacrificing everything she is to save others live for others but she’s never successfully done that she needs to do that live for someone else (1 person- cait) be successful in protecting them so she one day live for herself, find herself, find the meaning of being a person, her own goals. Till now we haven’t seen the story of Vi - just Powder’s sister her keeper since the first scene when she became wholly responsible for her a role that Vander did nothing to deter her from but pushed more heavily onto her.

And we kinda got a happyish end for jinx, NOT because she died so is free, NO, but because she finally got to save Vi not just from death but also stop Vi from killing herself (cause that’s what she has doing staying on that ledge not because she thought she could save Vander but because she left his dead body behind once). Show her that she has to rise above her self sacrificing bulshit, cause that only works when she is the only one protecting others not when she is fighting with others together, cause in those scenarios if she puts herself uncaringly in danger someone else will protect her and get hurt doing so.

She is alive but more importantly ready to go go on a journey of self discovery and define for herself her identity (herself not silco as Vi’s sister but not one dependent on her) away from Piltover and Zaun. Truly find herself, and be ready to come back on her own terms not bcz the outside forces dictate it.

HOW IS JINX ALIVE

I want to preface this by first cursing the guy responsible for camera work on Ep9 May seven generations of your family cry tears of blood!!

it was so hard to figure everything out!

let’s start with our North Star the stationary point around which everything revolves.

You’ll understand that in a moment.

I’ll like to draw everyone’s attention to this Frame.

Aww… Sob.. jinx hugging Vander while she kills them both… 😢 Forget that focus on the background!

the glowing runes the circular shape with an opening in the middle in 3 rings like oh? The hex gate beam!

but that could just be a pretty backdrop yeah I wouldn’t believe that even if this was the first time I was seeing it but it’s not. We’ve seen it before…

here

Here

Directly followed by

then after cutting to jayce and victor in the tunnel, different backgrounds for a sec but none of them from a consistent camera angle

and we’re back here again

Then another cut to jayvik, them finally entering the sphere, and again different backgrounds for jinx/vi/vander

and then? We’re back here again

And it’s here that jayvik enter

Disrupting the vi/jinx/vander fight and creating the ledge.

now the North Star why do I mention it? Because the existence of the gate itself is not enough to prove that the hexgate turned on, so what is?

let’s go back to the image of the blast

Notice that rune in the corner?

that’s also a repeating marker it first appears not when we get the first look at the inside of the hex gate where where jinx/Vi/Ekko/Vander have crashed but after jayvik have started their ascent and the tunnel lights up.

and again when jayvik finally enter the sphere

and again after Viktor has blasted through the ledges and is exiting the sphere

notice the lack of light entering the scene from the hole created by Vi/jinx/ekko But in all these instances the rune has the top horizontal straight line facing away from the tunnel but when the explosion happens the line is facing inwards towards the tunnel that means a the rune turned in its casing implying that a mechanism was activated.

also notice how the tunnel is between the tube on which jinx lands and the ledge vi and vander land on no way that somebody moving like this

will fall towards the centre of the tunnel.

also take these 3 frames

vander gets a hold of jinx

cut to vi coming to rescue

Back to vander with jinx in his grasp turns his head towards incoming vi

The camera in the first and second image is the same, a split second has passed but the background changed.

because the sphere started rotating the moment the tunnel light up the first time, the first time we see the North Star.

Let’s have a positive outlook for the future and until then see you all on ao3

P.S. - If you think my theory makes no sense or the evidence is insufficient or disapproved do let me know….

#arcane #vi arcane #jinx #jinx arcane #arcane season 2 #arcane spoilers #jinx lives #arcane analysis #arcane theory #arcane thoughts

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cluescorner · 9 months ago

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I gave myself a writing challenge and I am fascinated by it

So basically I put the robins in a randomizer to give them a new order/role (because I just...kinda wanted to see what would happen + I like role-reversal AUs) and got results that are giving me a fucking brain blast.

Stephanie, the first sidekick who defines the role

Tim, the sidekick who dies and comes back wrong

Dick, the sidekick who saves Batman from himself

Damian, the sidekick who was never supposed to be a sidekick but would go on to prove everyone wrong

Jason, the youngest sidekick who is still the Kid Wonder

...So this is fucking wild. I've got some ideas and several of these fit perfectly (Dick's role is pretty similar to his one in canon), but some of these are fucking INCREDIBLE to explore (Steph being the first Robin is something I never even considered but tbh I kinda love it).

I probably won't write a fic or anything because tbh I don't like publishing my writing that much, but I might expand this into a full AU and post about it. I might randomize other stuff too (ie, stuff that I cannot change vs stuff that I cannot keep the same) but this fucking rules as a starting point.

#uhhh what am I calling this??#randomizedrobinsau #stephanie brown #oh my god I am so excited to figure out how tf to write this.#because she's my favorite of these characters and having HER be the first sidekick + the one who has a mentor/older sister relationship #with the others?? kickass. though I'll probably keep her and Tim's relationship as 'dating-then-exes' because I think it's funny #and then SHE can be the Robin who Tim got fixated on + figured out her identity?? holy fuck and then the angst of Tim later dying #Tim Drake #tbh I kinda wish he'd gotten a different position because 'sidekick who dies' Tim has kinda been done a lot with the standard #reverse robin aus. But it'll still be fun to write. Definitely going the Joker Junior route with this because Batman Beyond kicks ass #Dick Grayson #He'll honestly probably be the easiest. Like...his role has not changed much outside of being younger/not the one who defines this #But I still think it'll be good to see how well I know Dick beyond his eldest brother thing (which is my best way of relating to him)#Damian al ghul #damian wayne #oh this is gonna kick ass #Bruce does not want his son to be a sidekick but Damian just kinda forces his way into that role #and everybody doubts him because of his history with the league but he later proves himself more than capable #to the point that he can set out mostly on his own and still thrive #Jason Todd #Jason being the baby of the family is also something I have never thought about but holy shit it could kick ass #I really hope that I don't roll 'Jason must die' or 'Robin 5 must die' on the randomizer. I just kinda want Jason to live this time #But unfortunately I double-screwed him because he's on the 'must happen' wheel twice now. I did not think these prompts through #TBH I am so happy that none of them rolled their OG roles. because that would have been so fucking boring

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seungminsleftear · 3 months ago

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Six Years, Five months and Two days | FIVE X READER

pairing: five hargreaves x reader

Word Count: 5470

Genre: angst

General Notes: Lila x Five did happen here folks :/, sexual themes, crude language, this does not correlate with whatever happens during seasons 4 other than Lila and Five jumping into a different timeline together for seven years,, Reader is referred to as female and wife,

Trigger Warnings: Infidelity and Betrayal, Emotional and Psychological Trauma, Unresolved Grief and Loss, Intimacy and Relationship Issues, Family Conflict, Self-Worth and Identity Crisis, Anger and Violence, Emotional Isolation, Suicidal Thoughts or Self-Harm, Intimate Relationship Details

Author’s note: I have not watched season 4 and yet I know about Five x Lila… Kms

Spoiler: All you get is, There will be a part 2

Click here for part Two!

I MOVED ACCOUNTS THE REST OF THIS FIC WILL BE PUBLSIHED ON @seungminsbaldspot !!

They had been missing for a few hours now, and the anxiety was beginning to gnaw at your insides. You could only guess that Five and Lila had gotten caught up in a different timeline—something your husband was well-acquainted with doing. You tried not to think the worst. After all, Five was skilled, perhaps the most skilled among you, but the worry persisted like a shadow clinging to your every thought.

He had told you stories about when he was young, disobeying his father, and jumping through time. He saw the apocalypse, lived through it, unable to return to his original time. He would speak of the chaos and destruction, the sense of being unmoored in a fractured world. Then he told you about the moment the Handler found him, plucked him from that desolation, and invited him to join the Commission. And that's when he met you.

And oh, how he hated you.

You were, and still are, the complete opposite of that grumpy old man. You were always precise, a stickler for the rules, never one to color outside the lines. The Handler loved you for it—your discipline, your meticulous attention to detail, your unwavering commitment to the Commission's goals. You were reliable, the perfect agent, the kind who made her job easier.

He, on the other hand, was a wildcard. Reckless and unpredictable, he saw rules as suggestions rather than absolutes. He didn't care about the consequences, not when there were bigger things at stake—things only he could see in the chaos of time. He was a man who thrived in the midst of uncertainty, a constant challenge to your carefully ordered world.

But that was part of what drew you to him, wasn’t it? That contrast. The way he lived life like he was on borrowed time, like every moment was his to seize. You hated how he would disregard protocol, how he’d show up late to missions or disappear altogether, chasing his own ghosts through the folds of history. And yet, there was something about that fearlessness that fascinated you. Something about the way he could stare into the abyss of time and laugh, as if daring it to swallow him whole.

The Handler loved assigning the two of you missions together. You were the perfect team, each of you balancing out the other's weaknesses. She liked to say you were two sides of the same coin—your precision and his improvisation, your strategy and his audacity. Together, you were unstoppable, a force to be reckoned with.

It wasn't always smooth, of course. He had a way of getting under your skin, pushing your buttons in ways no one else could. He loved to rile you up, to watch that carefully maintained calm of yours crack, just a little. He’d tease you mercilessly, call you names, question your every move. But you never let it show, not in front of the Handler. You knew she was watching, always assessing, always deciding where her next move would take her. And despite your irritation, you couldn't deny that he had a knack for getting results.

And you hated that. Hated that he could bend the rules, defy protocol, and still come out on top. But the more time you spent together, the more you began to understand him, to see the method in his madness. He wasn’t just a reckless fool; he was smart, sharp, and had an uncanny ability to read a situation and turn it to his advantage. There was a reason the Handler kept pairing the two of you up, and it wasn’t just because she enjoyed watching the sparks fly.

You had never thought Five had cared so much about you—not until that one particular mission.

It had been a long day, the kind where the hours blurred together, each minute weighed down with tension and danger. You were both exhausted, having fought your way through the tangled threads of time, dealing with threats at every turn. Endless close calls, contact after contact, each encounter more chaotic and draining than the last. You were used to this kind of work, but that day felt different. Maybe it was the weight of the mission, or maybe it was something else—a premonition, a sense that something was off.

You and Five had been tracking a target across multiple timelines, chasing down a loose end that the Commission desperately needed tied up. The mission had seemed straightforward enough at first, but complications arose as they often did, turning what should have been a simple extraction into a drawn-out battle. After hours of fighting—ducking bullets, dodging blows, and navigating through the chaotic flow of time—you were growing weary. You prided yourself on your precision, your ability to remain sharp under pressure, but even you had your limits.

You weren’t thinking straight. The fatigue was getting to you, and in a moment of distraction, you let your guard down. It was only for a second, but that was all it took. A sharp pain tore through your side, and when you looked down, you saw the knife buried deep in your abdomen. The world seemed to slow around you, a haze of shock and disbelief clouding your vision.

You staggered, clutching the wound, trying to maintain your balance, but the pain was overwhelming. You heard Five shout your name, his voice cutting through the fog of agony. There had been a strange edge to it, a raw urgency that you hadn’t heard before. You had always thought of him as the consummate professional—gruff, detached, always in control. But now, there was something different in his tone—something almost frantic.

He was at your side in an instant, his figure blurring with the speed of his movements as he dispatched the remaining threats with a brutal efficiency that was startling even to you. His face was tight with concentration, but his eyes—those sharp, calculating eyes that were usually so unreadable—were filled with something you couldn’t quite place. Fear, maybe? Or was it… concern?

“Stay with me,” he had commanded, dropping to his knees beside you. His hands moved quickly, one pressing against your wound to staunch the bleeding, the other rummaging through his coat pocket for something—bandages, maybe, or some kind of first aid. He was muttering under his breath, a stream of curses and commands, as if he could will you back to health with words alone.

You tried to speak, to tell him you were fine, but your voice came out in a weak, strangled gasp. The pain was spreading, a hot, searing sensation radiating from your abdomen and up through your chest. You could feel yourself slipping, the world around you growing dim and distant. But even through the haze, you could still hear his voice, sharp and insistent, pulling you back.

“Look at me,” he snapped, his tone leaving no room for argument. You forced your eyes open, focusing on his face—his furrowed brow, his clenched jaw, the way his lips were pressed into a thin, determined line. “You’re not dying here, got it?”

There had been a fierceness in his voice that surprised you, a kind of raw intensity that you hadn’t heard before. You’d seen him angry, sure, and you’d seen him frustrated plenty of times, but this was different. This was personal. And it was then that you realized: he wasn’t just afraid of losing a colleague. He was afraid of losing you.

“Five,” you managed to whisper, your voice barely audible over the sound of your ragged breathing. You wanted to say something comforting, to let him know you’d be okay, but the words wouldn’t come. All you could do was reach out, your fingers brushing against his, a silent acknowledgment of his efforts, of his fear, of his care.

He grabbed your hand, his grip firm and unyielding, his gaze locked onto yours. “I’m not losing you,” he said again, his voice softer now but no less intense. “I’ve lost too many people already. Not you. Never you.”

For a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath, the chaos around you fading into the background. It was just the two of you, caught in this strange, suspended moment, connected in a way that was deeper than words, deeper than time.

He worked quickly, efficiently, binding your wound with a piece of his own shirt, his movements precise and controlled despite the tension radiating from him. You could feel the energy building around you, the familiar sensation of time beginning to warp as he prepared to jump you both back to the Commission. His hands were steady, but there was a tremor in them that betrayed his calm façade.

“Hang on,” he murmured, his voice barely more than a whisper. “Just hang on a little longer.”

And then, with a blinding flash of light, the world around you shifted, the familiar pull of the time jump tugging at your very being. The pain in your side flared, a sharp spike of agony that ripped through your consciousness, but you held onto his hand, your grip tightening as you were pulled through the fabric of time.

When you opened your eyes again, you were in the Commission’s infirmary, the sterile white walls and the faint hum of machinery a stark contrast to the chaos you’d just left behind. Five was still there, his hand still holding yours, his face pale but relieved. He didn’t say anything, just sat there, his eyes never leaving your face, as if making sure you were really, truly okay.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” he muttered after a moment, his voice rough, but there was a hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth. “You scared the hell out of me.” Despite the pain, you managed a small smile. “Didn’t know you cared so much,” you replied, your voice weak but teasing.

He rolled his eyes, but there was a softness in his gaze, a kind of tenderness you’d never seen before. “Yeah, well, don’t let it go to your head,” he said gruffly, but you could hear the relief in his voice, the unspoken gratitude that you were still here, still alive.

And in that moment, you knew that things had changed. You’d always been a perfect team, but now, you were something more. You had seen a side of Five you’d never seen before, a vulnerability he’d never shown anyone. And you knew, without a doubt, that he cared about you—deeply, fiercely, in a way that went far beyond mere partnership.

As you lay there, your hand still entwined with his, you felt a strange sense of peace, a quiet understanding passing between you. Whatever happened next, whatever dangers awaited in the tangled web of time, you knew one thing for certain: you wouldn’t face them alone. Not as long as Five was by your side.

Since that day, he had been inseparable from you. At first, you found it strange—his constant presence, the way he seemed to hover just a little too close, always watching, always ready. Five had never been the type to show affection, to offer comfort. He was all sharp edges and quick wit, a perpetual storm in human form. But now, there was a softness to him, a quiet protectiveness that he tried, and mostly failed, to hide. And you no longer minded. In fact, you found it endearing. You came to cherish his closeness, his silent support.

You liked the constant teasing and the bickering that filled your days, a steady rhythm of banter and back-and-forth that felt more like home than any place you had ever been. It was comforting to have someone with whom you felt so... normal, someone who could keep up with you, match your pace, challenge you in ways that no one else could. The loneliness you’d once felt in the vast corridors of the Commission faded away with him by your side, replaced by something you never thought you’d have—companionship. Friendship. Love.

Many years later, during a quiet moment in the middle of another mission, Five finally confessed that he loved you. It wasn’t a grand declaration, nothing like the romantic stories you’d heard growing up. It was simple, almost matter-of-fact, the way he said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. You had been stitching up a wound on his arm, your fingers deft and practiced, when he suddenly blurted it out.

“I love you,” he had said, his voice gruff but sincere, his eyes not meeting yours. For a moment, you thought you had misheard him. But then he looked at you, really looked at you, his expression more open and vulnerable than you’d ever seen. “I’ve loved you for a long time,” he added, softer this time, as if testing the words.

Your heart had skipped a beat, and you found yourself smiling, a real, genuine smile that you hadn’t felt in years. “I love you too,” you replied, your voice barely more than a whisper. It was the truth, the simplest and most profound truth you had ever known.

Not long after, he asked you to marry him. It was as unceremonious as his confession of love, almost awkward in its delivery. You were in the middle of cleaning your weapons, preparing for yet another jump, when he looked over at you, his brow furrowed in that familiar way of his. “We should get married,” he said, as if he was suggesting you grab a cup of coffee.

You blinked, taken aback by his suddenness, but then you laughed—a soft, genuine laugh that felt good, felt right. “Yes,” you said, without hesitation. “Of course, yes.” There wasn’t a doubt in your mind. The life you’d built together, the bond you shared—it was more than enough.

The two of you quietly eloped, keeping your marriage a secret from the Commission. It wasn’t their business, after all. They didn’t need to know about the life you were building together, the small moments of happiness you stole between missions, the way you found comfort in each other’s presence amid the chaos of time. You had your little secrets, your private world carved out of the madness, and you intended to keep it that way.

And when Five decided he needed to go back to his family, “The Umbrella Academy,” you didn’t hesitate. You went right along with him, standing by his side as you always had. You knew how much he had sacrificed, how much he still carried with him—the weight of his past, the ghosts of his mistakes. But you also knew that he had found a new purpose, a reason to keep fighting, to keep moving forward. And wherever he went, you would follow.

And with that, you find yourself back into the present. You’re pacing around the room. Every minute feels like an hour, and every second that ticks by without a word from Five or Lila makes your heart pound harder in your chest. The silence is broken only by the occasional murmur of conversation or the soft shuffling of footsteps.

Then, suddenly, the air around you seems to shift. A low hum fills the room, and the familiar tingling sensation of a temporal disturbance ripples through you. Everyone turns toward the source, eyes wide with a mix of hope and apprehension.

A flash of blue light erupts in the center of the room, and for a moment, it’s blinding. You shield your eyes, your heart leaping into your throat. When the light fades, you blink, trying to clear your vision, and then you see them—Five and Lila—standing there, slightly disheveled but very much alive.

The two of them share small, strained smiles, a strange new tension between them that wasn't there before. Diego rushes at Lila, hugging her tightly, his strong arms pulling her close. "I thought I'd lost you," he whispers, his voice breaking, betraying the tough exterior he usually maintains. Lila laughs softly, but it sounds different—almost forced—as she returns the embrace, her eyes darting briefly to Five.

Five stands apart, his expression carefully neutral, he struggles to make eye contact with anyone — especially you. He scans the room as if searching for a distraction, his posture stiff, his hands clenched at his sides. "Good to see you're all still in one piece," he mutters, his tone flat. When his gaze accidentally meets Lila's, he quickly looks away, as if the sight of her is too much to bear.

You smile at Five, offering a small nod. You both aren’t much for public attention, and you hoped a subtle acknowledgment would be enough to connect, to let him know you’re there. But Five never meets your eyes. His gaze is distant, his thoughts clearly elsewhere. Your smile fades, replaced by a furrowed brow. What’s your deal, Five?

You feel a knot of worry tighten in your stomach. Something is off with Five, more than usual. You’ve known him long enough to recognize when he’s hiding something, but this is different. It’s like he’s shut down entirely, locking everyone out—including you.

The others, caught up in their own reunions, don’t seem to notice the tension radiating from Five and Lila. Diego pulls back from Lila, holding her at arm’s length to look her over. “What happened to you two?” he asks, his eyes narrowing as he takes in the subtle changes in their appearances—the slightly haunted look in their eyes, the way they seem older somehow. “You’ve only been gone for like 4 hours”

Lila’s smile is tight, almost brittle. “Feels like a lifetime,” she says with a small, hollow laugh that doesn't reach her eyes. Her gaze drifts back to Five, and for a moment, there's something almost like longing—or maybe regret.

Five flinches at her words, just barely, but enough that you notice. He looks down, his jaw clenching. “Doesn’t matter,” he says quickly, cutting off any further questions. “We’re back now. That’s all that matters.” But his voice wavers slightly, betraying a crack in his composure.

You step forward, unable to keep the concern from your voice. “Five…what happened?” you ask softly, hoping to reach him, to break through whatever wall he’s put up.

He finally looks at you, but there’s a hardness in his eyes that makes your heart sink. “Drop it,” he snaps, a sharp edge to his tone that makes everyone else in the room go quiet. The silence that follows is heavy and uncomfortable, the unspoken tension between him and Lila now impossible to ignore.

Lila clears her throat, shifting uncomfortably. “Yeah, maybe we should all just… take a breather,” she suggests, trying to lighten the mood, but there’s a nervousness in her voice that makes it clear she’s not as relaxed as she’s pretending to be. She glances at Five again, and you see it now—how her eyes linger on him just a moment too long, and how his jaw tightens in response, his expression guarded.

Diego, picking up on the strange atmosphere but not fully understanding it, frowns. “Did something happen between you two?” he presses, his eyes narrowing as he looks between Five and Lila. His gaze drops to Lila’s wrist, and his eyes widen slightly. “You hate wearing bracelets,” he points out, suspicion creeping into his voice.

Lila instinctively pulls her wrist closer to her side, but not before Diego catches sight of the handmade leather bracelet. “No, I like them,,” she says but her voice lacks conviction. Diego shakes his head, his frown deepening. “Yeah, you do. You traded the one I gave you for a vacuum, remember?” His voice is heavy with accusation, his eyes now fixed on the bracelet. “Where’d you get that one?”

Diego’s eyes narrow even more, his gaze shifting to Five. "Did you make that?" he asks, his voice low and dangerous, cutting through the tension in the room like a knife. The question hangs heavy in the air, charged with accusation and disbelief.

Five’s expression hardens, his eyes narrowing as he glances at Lila, then back at Diego. His jaw is set, his posture rigid. “I sure as hell didn’t make that bracelet for you,” he replies coldly, his voice slicing through the silence like a blade. There’s a finality in his tone, a hint of something unresolved but unapologetic.

Your breath catches in your chest, a painful tightness forming there. He made it… For her…? The thought is like a dagger, twisting in your gut. You blink, trying to process the revelation, the reality of it sinking in like a stone. A handmade bracelet—something so personal, so intimate.

You glance at Five, but he’s not looking at you. His gaze remains locked on Diego, unwavering, as if bracing for whatever comes next. A storm of emotions swirls inside you—betrayal, hurt, confusion. The room seems to close in around you, the walls pressing in, the air thick and suffocating.

Diego’s gaze shifts from Lila to Five, and you can see the pieces slowly clicking into place for him. His face hardens with a mix of realization and fury. “Did you screw my wife?” he demands, his voice a low, dangerous growl. The words explode into the room like a bomb, the air suddenly charged with tension.

Five’s eyes remain steady on Diego, his face an unreadable mask. He opens his mouth to speak, to say something—anything—but Diego’s not interested in hearing it. His fists are clenched at his sides, his entire body radiating a barely restrained fury.

“You did, didn’t you?” Diego’s voice rises, each word heavy with the weight of betrayal. "All this time, and you—you were cheating on me?” His accusation shifts to Lila, his eyes burning with hurt and anger.

Lila quickly steps between them, placing a hand on each of their chests as if trying to physically push them apart. “Guys, let’s not do this right now,” she urges, her voice firm but laced with a hint of desperation. “This isn’t the time or place.”

You stand frozen, disbelief washing over you. Your mind reels at the weight of Diego’s words. Cheating? The idea feels like a punch to the gut. You’ve spent countless years with Five, fought battles by his side, faced the end of the world more than once. And he gives it all up—for what? For his brother’s wife, over the course of seven years in another timeline?

Your breath catches, a sharp pain blooming in your chest. You try to swallow it down, but it’s too much, too fast. The reality of what you’re hearing—of what Five has done—feels like a betrayal deeper than anything you’ve faced together. The walls seem to close in around you, the weight of the revelation pressing down on your shoulders, threatening to crush you.

You look at Five, searching his face for some sign of denial, of regret—anything that might soften the blow of this new reality. But he’s still staring at Diego, his expression unyielding, almost defiant. His jaw is set, his eyes cold and distant. There’s no apology there, no remorse—just a cold, hard acceptance of what’s been done, of what can’t be undone. The sight of his indifference twists the knife deeper into your heart.

You feel your chest tighten, your breath coming in short, shallow gasps. Your hands are trembling, fingers curling into fists at your sides as you fight to keep yourself together. You want to scream, to cry, to lash out and demand answers. But you know it won’t change anything. The damage is done, and the betrayal runs too deep. You feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. Not here. Not now. Not in front of them. Not in front of him.

You shake your head, unable to look at Five any longer. The pain is too raw, too intense, and being in the same room with him feels unbearable. You can’t handle this—not now, not like this. The walls are closing in, the air thick and suffocating. Your heart is pounding in your chest, each beat a painful reminder of what’s been shattered between you.

Without another word, you turn on your heel and leave the room, your steps quick and unsteady. You feel the eyes of the others on you as you push past them, but you don’t care. You can’t stay here—not in this room, not with them. Not with him. The hallway stretches out before you like a lifeline, and you move toward it, your movements frantic and desperate, as if putting distance between you and Five might somehow ease the ache in your chest.

You stumble into the hallway, your vision blurred by unshed tears. You don’t know where you’re going—only that you need to get away. Away from the pain, away from the betrayal, away from the suffocating weight of it all. Your feet carry you down the corridor, your breaths coming in ragged gasps as you fight to hold back the sobs threatening to break free.

You finally reach an empty room, but as you reach for the door, you realize with a jolt that it's the one you and Five share. The one where you slept beside him last night, completely unaware of the storm that was about to hit. The memories of your shared moments—whispered conversations, late-night confessions, stolen kisses—flood back, now tainted with a sense of betrayal and loss. You hesitate, your hand hovering over the doorknob, but then you push it open and slip inside, closing it behind you.

The moment the door clicks shut, you collapse against it, your legs giving out beneath you. You sink to the floor, your back pressed against the wood, and the tears finally come. Hot, angry tears spill down your cheeks, and a broken sob escapes your lips. The room is quiet, painfully so, and the sound of your cries seems to fill every corner, bouncing off the walls and echoing back to you.

You wrap your arms around yourself, as if trying to hold the pieces of yourself together, but it’s no use. The dam has broken, and the flood of emotion is too strong to contain. You bury your face in your hands, your shoulders shaking with the force of your sobs. You cry for the loss of trust, for the betrayal, for the love you thought was unbreakable. You cry for everything you’ve lost and everything you can never get back.

The bed looms in the corner of your vision, a cruel reminder of the intimacy you once shared with Five. It’s still unmade from this morning, the sheets tangled from where you both slept. You remember the warmth of his body beside you, the way his hand would always find yours in the dark. The way he would hold you when you were scared, whispering promises of forever. Promises that now feel like lies.

You lift your head, your eyes red and swollen from crying. You look around the room, and all you can see are the remnants of a life that no longer feels like yours. The books on the nightstand that you read together, the photos on the wall of happier times—all of it feels like a cruel joke, mocking the trust you placed in him. The room, once a sanctuary, now feels like a prison, filled with ghosts of a past that will never return.

As the tears flow, you realize something with a cold, hard clarity that cuts through the haze of your grief—nothing will ever be the same again. Not between you and Five, not between any of you. The damage is done, and there’s no going back. You feel a hollowness settle in your chest, a void where your love for him once lived. You wonder if you’ll ever feel whole again, or if this betrayal has shattered you beyond repair.

It’s been a few days since the cheaters blinked back to your timeline. Each day has dragged on, an endless cycle of numbness and pain. The initial wave of tears has subsided, replaced by a slow-burning anger that simmers just below the surface. How could he? How could she? The questions run through your mind on a loop, feeding the fire that burns inside you.

You try to go about your daily routine, but everything feels off, wrong. The house feels different—colder, emptier. The others tiptoe around you, unsure of what to say, how to act. They’ve seen the hurt in your eyes, the way you flinch whenever Five enters the room. They’ve heard the way your voice trembles when you speak, how your words are laced with a bitterness you can’t seem to shake.

And then there’s Five. He moves around the house like a ghost, his presence a constant reminder of the betrayal. He tries to talk to you, but you can’t bear to look at him, let alone hear what he has to say. His words mean nothing now; they’re empty, hollow, like the promises he once made. You’ve built walls around yourself, high and impenetrable, to keep him out—to protect what little remains of your heart.

Your anger grows each day, festering like an open wound. It fuels you, giving you strength when the pain becomes too much to bear. It’s the only thing that keeps you going, that stops you from collapsing under the weight of it all. You cling to it, because without it, all you’re left with is the emptiness, the loss, the heartbreak.

We have been married for years, you think bitterly, and yet we never even once slept together, let alone him see me naked. How in the hell could he have fucked Lila over the span of seven years? The thought is a searing ache, cutting through the numbness that has settled over you. He always said we were too busy for such nonsense.

The double standard gnaws at you, a relentless, cruel irony. All those times he claimed there was no time for intimacy, no room for such personal moments because of their dangerous, high-stakes missions. And now you have to grapple with the fact that he found time for Lila—time to build a relationship, to share moments that were supposed to be sacred between the two of you. It feels like a betrayal of not just your love but the very essence of your marriage.

You remember the conversations where he would dismiss your need for closeness, brushing it aside with promises of better times to come. “We’re too busy,” he’d said, “We have a world to save.” Yet here was the proof that when it came to Lila, the rules were different. The lies, the excuses, all of it crashes down on you, leaving you gasping for breath.

The anger is raw, a jagged edge that you can’t seem to smooth over. It’s not just about what Five did; it’s about the betrayal of trust, the violation of promises made. The fact that he could share himself so completely with someone else, while withholding even the smallest gestures of intimacy from you, cuts deeper than any physical wound could.

You pace the empty room, the anger simmering, demanding an outlet. It’s a fire that consumes everything in its path, burning through your hope, your trust, your love. And it leaves behind a desolate landscape, a place where you’re forced to confront the stark reality of what’s been done.

How could he justify this? you wonder. How could he reconcile the intimacy he shared with Lila while claiming there was no time for us?

#tua4 #five tua #tua five #tua s4 #tua season 4 #the umbrella academy season 4 #umbrella acedmy #five hargreaves x reader #five x reader #number five #tua fanfic #hargreeves siblings #five hargreaves x you #five x lila

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gaywineauntsstuff · 8 days ago

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See one of my favorite things about fanon is that Dick is like a normal dude outside of nightwing like genuinely he’s normal person who isn’t that extreme canonically. He loves his family but he needs space with them and doesn’t want to be a carbon copy of his father.

He follows Bruce is moral compass while also being more lenient on some crimes. He canonically values life and protecting the sanctity over it than actually stopping crime and has a very strong moral compass that exceeds “well it’s the law”. Dick canonically thinks that Corrupt police officials are worse than criminals and became a cop to weed them out the same way he did the mob. And has bad blood with the BPD despite working for them.

He has genuine reservations about trusting Jason for obvious reasons even if you don’t like Dicks run as Batman where Jason was flat out the worst or like stealing the Nightwing suit in New York in brothers and blood. While still being able to work with and like him.

He is supportive of Tim while still being frustrated at taking on more work bc he knows Tim does too much and will need help.

He loves Damian but steps away from that relationship because unlike Bruce at his age he’s emotionally mature enough to realize he cannot be a parent for the kid. A role model sure! A big sibling, yeah. But not a parent.

He didn’t want Steph as spoiler, Robin or batgirl bc she wasn’t well trained but neither did literally anyone else. Once she and him started working together they had a decent relationship.

Dick and Cass have a strong relationship and he helped Babs with her when Bruce was being an asshole while still not stepping into a parent role bc he’s in his mid 20s and not going to do that actually.

And Dick believes Duke is going to become a big leader in the hero world and sees his potential despite not agreeing with the we are Robin thing.

And the fanon goes 1 of 3 ways

he’s fully uninvolved, doesn’t like the bats, has cut them off after trying to send Tim to Arkham, and abusing/ mistreating or co-signing the mistreatment of Jason. All his relationships with everyone except Damian have been erased. He ruined Tim’s trust, hated young!jason, has never spoken to Steph or duke and Cass doesn’t like him because she’s on babs side or in Hong Kong.

Literally Bruce Wayne’s lapdog, says yes to everything with the worst case of battered women’s syndrome you’ve ever seen. Jason must stand up for him and protect him from the big bad bat/ the bats cut him off aswell after abandoning the bat movement (more rare but I’ve seen it). He doesn’t have critical thinking and his morals are identical to Batman’s and he refuses to question them. Will call the police on a homeless man stealing food bc it’s illegal. And has never tried to rehabilitate anyone including his friends, abandoned Roy and Kory bc of moral differences. He’s still a cop and doesn’t understand the nuance that Jason, Tim, Steph and Duke do.

Dumb himbo, doesn’t know nothing except smile and nod. Pretty face, no brain. Has had one thought and it’s the fact he misses his siblings and needs his cereal oh wait was that two thoughts? He forgot how to count lmao. Babs or Tim will roll their eyes and do stuff for him bc he’s so dumb and sweet like a puppy who has had a lobotomy. :( doesn’t even have a college degree dumb silly teehee. Worst liar you’ve ever met everyone can see right through him hehe. He’s loves Bruce and calls him Dad 24/7 and uses nicknames for everyone.

And like it’s total flanderization

He has some of these traits sure, (more rigid moral compass, more willing to work with other heroes and delegate though this one literally only became a thing during Tom kings run and maybe a little bit after Donna died, in the current canon he went to Uni for business and dropped out, he’s not as good on the tech side as oracle)

But they’re just so exaggerated and I firmly believe it’s bc the rest of the bats are so extra. Like Tim trying to clone his dead bestie 99 times.

Jason goodness gracious I’ve been bamboozled let me try and kill the penguin on live tv

Damian my mother literally tore my spine out

. Duke let’s start a cult that’s something that isn’t dumb and won’t get us murdered.

And Dick is just there like… yeah fuck okay.

Like he’s still unhinged even for a superhero but he’s just objectively more hinged than all of his siblings like you’re telling me if TIM got the talon ancestry storyline shit wouldn’t have hit the fan??? The mother fucker who at age like 13 broke in Nightwing and starfire’s house, memorized all their schedules bc he’s the most insane stalker you’ve ever met. You’re lying and we both know it.

And everyone thinks their fave is the sane won and you are all just wrong I fear. I have already slandered Tim so I’ll do the rest for funsies

“Oh babs is the only sane one”

Bby Barbara is such a stalker with a need for control someone stole her tech and turned Gotham into a police state. If she decided that she wanted to go dictator she has a WHOLE setup for it. She’s also unhinged

“Jason just needs to get away from the bats then he’s the only sane one who the others go to for protection”

Yall Jason’s 2 biggest teams were

An Amazon, and a kryptonian

An arrow and an alien (also some times an Amazon)

So the league big three knock off and a titans knock off

He has also slept with his dad’s ex and 2 of his brother’s exes. Let’s not pretend that he’s being dragged back into the bat family, bro never left.

He wears a bat on his chest

He has a helmet with explosives in it… when he died in an explosion and fought with a crowbar when it was one of the major reasons he died. Let’s not talk about his whole thing with scarlet but the Morrison run had some weird characterization.

“Damian-“ no actually you can’t even start with Mr let’s go to Lazarus island. Let me adopt a giant bat monster bc my abusive childhood means I slaughtered his entire race. No actually I will not allow it. The fucker is unhinged and I love him.

“Steph” - you know what she is also my fave so everything she has ever done is justified and she has the best batgirl run and also her and Damian are hilarious. (She’s also the best female bat hands down I prefer her to both Cass and Babs for so many reasons I will not get into)

In summary this isn’t actually a criticism I find it hilarious plz keep going my darling fanon fanfic writers

#nightwing #batman #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #batfam #bruce wayne #comics #damian wayne #batfamily #stephanie brown #Dick ‘leave me alone’ Grayson #and the codependency of the rest of the bat family #is amazing

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brucewaynehater101 · 6 months ago

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Okay okay, so Tim finds out Bruce is stuck in the timestream and gathers all his siblings + Barbara for a meeting, presenting his evidence, a drafted plan of action to save Bruce . . .

. . . And asks what to do with this information

They all come to an agreement / majority vote

l e t h i m d i e

=========

Once upon a time they thought that Gotham, the world, that they, all needed Batman

Now that isn't the case anymore

Oh he was mourned, by the Justice League, by his allies, by civilians . . .

But the Batfamily has grown into their own, they've found a way to fight for Gotham, Bludhaven, Crime Alley because they've inherited the Fear of Batman

They've found their own ways to instill the fear of them into the criminal world

Their territories are becoming better even despite their Patriarch being dead

And they feel less dead than they were becoming under his thumb

The Dark Knight is Dead; Long Live The Dark Knights

· · ·

People questioned what would happen with the Prince of Gotham dead

Tim tried becoming CEO, but Jason stepped in himself to take the mantle from right under him, citing he was too young and should enjoy his childhood while it still lasted

That started quite a fight between them

Duke Thomas was adopted by Jason and while not technically joining the family's nightlife, Signal could always be found while the sun was up

Gotham's bones broke, organs failed, and flesh was bitten off

Gotham has never been better since Batman or even The Second Robin died

Praise the Batfamily

This is happiness . . .

=========

Somebody finds out they let Batman die

Be it the Justice League, other heroes, their rogues, or another hero's rogues, or somebody else entirely

They find out

Do other groups learn by themselves? Does this knowledge come into the hands of people who would spread it?

Either way, the Batclan is going to have to confront that it's known they let Batman die

Is the knowledge it used maliciously, is the accuser wanting answers, or is it a mix of both

Gosh, what will Alfred think if he learns? I imagine that even if he enabled Bruce's abuse they kept him around, stick close enemies and friends after all

(me thinks personally that Joker is throwing a fit with his nemesis dead, and he may not even be able to abuse the fact his own kids killed him cuz it was a child abuser who was killed by his abused)

(but I'd love to see your take on Joker's pov when he only knows Batman is dead and if he learns his kids left him for dead and if he learns they were abused by him and that's why they let him die)

Now I'm wondering what would happen if it got leaked to the public that the Batfamily knew Batman could've been saved but did nothing about it. There could be so many different reactions from different groups

Crime Alley people, criminals, people outside Gotham, Gothamites themselves, and Bludhaven residents would have different takes collectively methinks

Fucking hell, that isn't even accounting for all the fuckery you could do w/ Bruce Wayne = Batman and I'm not talking about an post-mortem identity reveal, I'm talking identity shenanigans

Like say the bats knowing they could have saved Bruce but left him for dead and somebody/some group learns this and leaks it

And then Jason steps in to say "you know the FUCK what? We knew our old man could have been saved and since he was shit we voted/agreed to let him die!!" And all hell breaks loose

And that's just one example!

=========

Inspired by that ask on Jason calling for a family meeting after learning Bruce is stuck in the timestream to figure out what to do from there

+ the one post where Dick tries and fails to get Tim to give up on Bruce so he doesn't embark on BruceQuest and Bruce dies in the Timestream

w/ Cassandra in particular, it'd be fun to explore her psyche in the Vote branch, if she votes to let Bruce die or not considering her "No Kill" stance

Heck, with both branches they alone bring so much fun to the table, even without the flavor of The Reveal

Agreement: You get the explore a world where all the bat kids + Barbara want Bruce dead, by why is it? You get to see all their reasons for it, and how their reasonings may mesh or clash and how they come to make their decisions!

Majority Vote: You get to see the conflicts between those who want him back and want him dead + what they do and think knowing who voted for what then onwards

Bonus if a batsibling or two start of wanting Bruce back but then decide they want him gone, or the reverse, or they flip flop again and again until they make their choice

Either branch I think would overhaul the Batfamily's relationships w/ each other in a major way and not just because someone has to take Bruce's spot as the family head or whatever, but because they chose/voted for said Patriarch to die

That's a big fucking deal

Oh yeah, Duke; is he ever taught about the (technically not) Patricide committed? Or do they keep him ignorant because ignorance is bliss?

Because if he learns through means other than them, yeah it'll be a shit show the Bats won't be prepared for beforehand

Oh yeah what about Gordon? Do you think he'd be in the know or learn via leaks or a leaker cuz he's kind of Barbara's family

Hello!!!!!!!!!!

Tw: abuse, death, murder, child abuse, suicide (let me know if I need to add more)

I love this idea, and I'm totally up for breaking it down.

If it's not an agreement, then it's likely that the ones who disagree will try to save Bruce regardless of what everyone else wants

This will turn into an all-out war as those who want Bruce dead try to prevent the others from succeeding. It would be like a weird version of capture the flag, clue, and escape the room. The save-Bruce team (whether out of love or duty) would need to gather all the evidence that Tim did while fending off attacks and working against the clock (there comes a point in time that it's too late to save Bruce).

Even if they all agree, it's still complicated feelings wise.

Bruce is an abusive piece of shit (especially in this AU), but it's hard to not love your abuser. The cycle of abuse is difficult to break out of. I think Dick and Jason would be at the point they are more apathetic to Bruce's care/love. They are adults who don't rely on him. They might still love Bruce, but it's easier for them to put a defense against the man emotionally to the point of condoning his murder.

Babs and Steph aren't his kids, so, while their feelings aren't black and white, it's easier to distance themselves from Bruce.

Canonically, I think Tim recently got adopted by Bruce. This makes it harder for him to outright reject Bruce. When given evidence (and shown what Bruce did to his other family members), Tim might come to the conclusion that it's better off without Bruce.

Damian is a child who just got to meet his dad. I doubt he'd be on board with this plan nor, with his hero worship, would he be able to find faults in him. He simply hasn't spent enough time with Bruce (and lots of angst to be explored there. Basically, his "siblings" that he's just met are telling him it's better for him if their dad is dead).

Cass loves Bruce. She trusts his mission, what he's supposed to stand for, and that he does love his kids (she can see that he truly does love everyone). At the same time, he hurts her siblings. She doesn't agree with leaving Bruce to die, but her feelings are complicated on the matter.

How the batkids feel about Alfred is similar (although not categorically per a kid) as they feel about Bruce

If they've reached the point where they have acknowledged that Alfred will never be on their side nor protect them, they still love that old man. They want him to be around, they would be sad at his death, but they know Alfred could and has hurt them. They know Alfred would choose Bruce over them.

The JL find out Bruce isn't actually dead with the Black Lantern battle thing.

Theoretically, other heroes can then start trying to save Bruce. Without canon Tim's information, though, they might not be able to. Bonus points to this batfam au if Oracle and others actively sabotage their efforts.

Gordon would be presented with all the evidence that Batman was an abusive piece of shit.

The Commissioner would try to bury any feelings of grief out of guilt for what he's unknowingly allowed his ex friend to get away with. If he knew that Batman was the same boy he threw a jacket over at the scene of that kid's parents' murder, he would sit at his desk with a bottle of scotch and a lit cigarette trying to figure out where it all went wrong. Jim would blame himself, curse Batman, and, as he curses himself for always allowing, do not a damn thing against what the masked vigilantes tell him to do.

Crime Alley and Bludhaven respectively probably would either not give a fuck, say "good riddance," or whistle at the fact the Bat's own kids refused to save him.

Gothamites know their vigilantes. If the batkids had refused to help Batman, than they trust the kids. There's nothing out there that would turn a man's entire family against him besides the man himself. By the end of the week, all Batman related stuff is burnt and replaced by the many symbols of the birds.

Anyone outside of Gotham (besides Bludhaven) will criticize the batkids. Gotham becomes fiercely protective over their birds after that and will fist fight anyone who tries to talk shit about them or their decision.

Fuck Joker, but here's how I think he felt about it.

Man definitely lost his shit in a fit of giggles. It seems (though Joker is slightly disappointed he wasn't part of the final showdown) that Batman was dragged down to the level of madness he swore he'd never go to. If Batman's kids turned against him, oh that must mean that the furry freak truly did horrendous actions against them!

That clown spends several weeks coming up with twisted fantasies and theories to ask out of the Birds to tease out their reactions for when he next sees them. He wants to know exactly how the Dark Knight fell and what was so dastardly to turn children against their father.

After he solves that mystery? Dealer's choice. He doesn't quite get as much joy without Batman around. He can play around with Red Hood and Red Robin specifically (if JJ happened), but nobody is the Dark Knight.

Maybe his melancholy turns into rage where he starts seriously gunning for all the Birds for not returning Batman to him. That, or Joker kills himself cause his nemesis/obsession is gone. Both are likely responses.

Anyways, I also love the positive notes you had that I didn't address. The hopefulness of them doing better for Gotham and Jason adopting Duke is fantastic. I'd love more of that as well as everything else

#dc comics #dc universe #thank you for the ask!!!!#bruce wayne #bruce wayne bashing #dc au

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rose-of-red-lake · 17 days ago

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I feel like the Bear is exploring how some people just aren't cut out to have "normie" romantic relationships, particularly people in obsessive, meticulous, high stakes, high pressure jobs.

Carmy started a relationship at the same time as he started a restaurant. Uncle Jimmy was right to say "uh oh:" the result is a disaster, where he ultimately decides he can't juggle both, and chooses his restaurant people (ie Syd). I was happy with this decision because hell yeah, Syd does deserve his full focus. She is busting her ass and he is out here going to parties? The injustice.

But I learned that other viewers didn't like this decision. They saw it as "unhealthy" that Carmy thinks he doesn't deserve a life outside the kitchen, and that it's a personal flaw if he can't find time for both. They want him to end the series with Claire because it would mean he's freed himself of restaurant stress.

But honestly, they are naive if they think it's that simple. Good writing (in a prestige drama) wouldn't make this choice easy, and there would be consequences. Carmy would be written to be abandoning his work family, and possibly even his sense of identity, if he made that choice. It is realistic too, considering the systemic pressures of the workers in that industry. The pressures force harsh decisions because multiple people are depending on you. In his talks with fine dining restaurant workers and chefs, Storer said they consistently said their personal lives were in shambles because the restaurant consumed them. There was no world outside of it. And ultimately, Carmy chose the restaurant. He chose Syd, not Claire.

So the demands of the job and the pressure of high-stakes business decisions really don't allow for intimate relationships. I don't think this is all on Carmy for being unable to handle it.

However, I would think that any fleeting moments of non-work, relaxing, unwinding that MIGHT happen...would happen between people who "get it."

Like calls to like.

So, maybe we will see Syd and Carmy actually execute that ask out that almost happened by the lockers?

The consequences might be harsh there too, but at least we would get some juicy workplace drama🍿

#sydcarmy #the bear #thinking out loud to no one in particular

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ewingstan · 1 year ago

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I certainly didn’t appreciate it on the first read-through, but one of the biggest background characterizations of Alec is among first things we learned about him: that he painted the Undersider’s symbols onto the doors of their hideout.

The loft reads as almost ridiculous when you first read about it. Whatever you’re expecting the hideout of a bunch of hardened criminals to look like, your not expecting “the rich kid’s house with all the best video games.” It almost took me out of it; it felt like such a teen wish fulfillment of a supervillain base that I thought Wildbow must be pretty young—and didn’t really take in what it was telling the reader about the Undersider’s mindset. Because it is a teen wish fulfillment, filtered through the practicality of what cost, secrecy, and Brian would allow for. Its the derelict old building you dare your friends to go into to find some rumored amazing or horrible secret—but this building does have a secret, and its a pizza party with a sweet flatscreen setup.

For the most part, it is an especially cool hangout spot that would appeal to your average teen—and not necessarily your average villain. Taylor gets told to use the other’s civilian names while hanging out here. They wear street clothes instead of their costumes. Its built to be appealing to the non-cape side of your life, a welcome reprieve from that world. For the Undersiders who don’t have much of a real life outside of capedom, its something like a place to play make-believe. That’s part of why its so effective as an initial pitch to Taylor when she’s looking for friends and doesn’t want to be a villain, why its important for ingratiating her to the rest of them and making her backstabbing plan that much harder to follow through on. Its part of why getting her own lair, built for the specifications of Skitter the Warlord instead of Taylor the kid, represents such a big change in how Taylor sees herself and her goals. Its why there’s presumably dozens of Undersider fics of them just casually hanging out in the loft, away from any major cape shenanigans. Its why Rachel's first full appearance is her coming up into the room and breaking the bubble—ruining Brian’s pitch of sweet teen digs by bringing the violence inherent to cape life into the supposedly separate space. Because the loft is supposed to be for the Undersiders to be themselves as civilians, instead of capes.

But at the same time, everyone’s personal room has their symbol painted on their door. And the first real thing we learn about Regent is that he’s the one who painted them.

Regent did not get to have a double life. His cape stuff and his family stuff were inherently intertwined, and it was all bad. He’s arguably the only undersider to have a secret identity in a traditional, important sense: not just “you have a civilian life, and everyone’s gonna respect that its separate and not go after anything related to it,” like @artbyblastweave outlined here, but “your specific other identity is important, in a sense outside of just being something to target” way. People finding out who Skitter is means they know there’s an identity there to exploit—her enemies can trace her to her school, she can’t continue to go back to her old house, etc. You’d be able to get the same advantage by finding out the civilian identity of pretty much any cape. But not with Alec. People finding out who Alec is means they go “oh fuck, its Heartbreaker’s kid—” the effect is much more like finding out Taylor is Skitter, rather than vice versa.

And that’s important, because the persona of Regent is, to a large extent, his chance to live out the life he wants. Brian and Lisa both have circumstances that don’t allow them a typical childhood, and so they construct spaces to go through the motions of one. To roughhouse and play video games with friends, to plan shopping trips and visits to Fugly Bobs. They’re looking for a respite from their normal state, and that respite to them looks like civilian life. Alec is looking for a respite from his awful childhood, and that respite has a lot of the same things, but it also has the symbols and aspects of his cape persona. He draws his crown on his door, he uses his powers casually on Brian—he’s using the space to let him be Regent, in the same way Brian is pitching it to Skitter as a place where she can just be Taylor, where Tattletale can just be Lisa. This is pretty huge for understanding Regent early-on: Taylor obviously has a pretty expansive double life, as does Brian, and Lisa clearly wants to get into some non-cape-related shenanigans. We’re introduced with a clear divide between cape and civilian identities being the norm. Rachel is presented as bucking a trend, her lack of second identity making her an outlier. But if you read into Regent’s decorating choices, you realize pretty early that you can’t separate his cape identity and his current civilian idenitiy, because their both effectively the same thing: a persona where he can be something other than a Vasil.

Sheesh, now that I’m thinking about it there’s a lot to be drawn from each of the undersider’s lairs. I already talked a bit about how Skitter having her new base be a proper “villain lair” instead of “hang spot” represented a shift in perspective, and how Rachel being unable to behave the way your “supposed” to in the loft shows that she both can’t live a double life and has no interest in doing so (unlike Alec, who is very clearly interested in making a “new” life for himself with the Undersiders as Regent). But how about how Brian won’t take a room in the loft and insists on sleeping in a separate apartment he’s planning on shairing with Aisha? He obviously wants to be able to draw an especially clear line between his cape and civilian life, and doesn’t want Aisha to get involved at all. How about how Lisa’s eventual separate Coil-provided villain lair is a disguised community center she was pretending to work in, showing both that she has some interest in a life outside of capedom and that she’s inherently drawn to working with/having control over civilian culture? She doesn’t just want to hold territory, she wants to be an institution—not just someone the other capes have to play ball with, but who the mayor and civilian agencies have to go through. She separates capedom and civilianhood to an extent, but not to the same extent as Brian, and her goals are much more “civilian-oriented” than most.

I forget the specifics of Alec’s eventual Coil-base, but I know that it was a group of buildings (a campus, maybe?) with few people in the surrounding area outside of puppets—presumably not so different from the compound he grew up. But I do remember that one of the last times we see it is near when Taylor says something about his connection to Heartbreaker, and him getting upset by it. I wonder if it changes in the intervening two years, especially with Imp’s influence. I’m kinda sad we never get a chance to see it.

#worm #wildbow #parahumans #alec vasil #regent #leo says #leo reads worm

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ghostofhyuck · 6 months ago

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Drawn to You

Vampire! Zhong Chenle x Human! Reader

Summary: You never thought that Zhong Chenle would like you, heck even go through measures of courting you just to show you that his intentions to you are genuine. Or is it? If you only knew about his real identity.

Word count: 3.5k

TW: Contains blood, and noncon biting. Read at your own risk.

AN: I skimmed the Dracula plot just for this fic, if inaccuracies occurred, I’m sorry.

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Everyone would think that you’re just a typical college student who studies literature at her local town college.

“Oh my god, you have another one!?” your friend shrieks as she sees the bouquet of flowers on your desk.

Except what makes you stand out from the others is that you’re being courted by Zhong Chenle — one of the most popular guys in your college.

Popularity isn’t just by the looks. Sure Chenle is one of the most good-looking guys in your town, but that’s just a small part of his popularity. He came from a family who runs a centennials-old business. The Zhong family are knit-tighted and are old money. They’re highly influential. Chenle being the second son of the Zhong makes him stand out. Aside from that, he studies business while being the captain of the college’s basketball team.

Girls would die to be noticed by him. But Chenle was dubbed as an “ice prince” due to his cold yet cool image. He rarely engages in conversations with anyone aside from his friends, and has been known to turn down confessions coldly. People’s impression of him as someone who’s untouchable. Even in academic projects, he's as formal as he can be.

You think of him as someone who’s unreachable. You did find him ideal and handsome but not enough to throw yourself on him.

That’s why you were surprised when one day he striked a conversation with you. You thought of it as merely a coincidence. You were part-timing at your older sister’s book shop when he entered the place. You never thought that the college’s star athlete would find himself going to a book shop.

You stared at him unknowingly as he scans around the bookshelves that contain poetry books. You watch as he scans the books, finding himself engaged between the pages, and obliviously, you have your gaze lock on him. Everyone’s right. Chenle does have a strong aura that can make everyone turn their heads on him.

And there, he started asking you questions. Keeping the conversation going on. You were surprised by the way he talks to you, casually. You always thought that he’s a bit cold who thinks highly of himself. That’s why you’re there, quietly flustered as he gives you a small smile before waving goodbye to you.

That’s not the only thing that happened to you. The next day, the whole school is buzzing as Chenle drives you to school. They were shocked to see Chenle step out of the car and walk towards the passenger seat in which he opens for you. Due to embarrassment, you ran away without even turning around to look at the crowd.

You knew that day, you'd end up being the talk of the town. The girl who managed to swoon Chenle. There were a lot of stories and gossip running wild as they tried to decipher how you managed to end up in that situation. Even getting strangers to ask you and ask you what’s your deal with him.

It didn’t stop there. Everyday, you’d go out to your house and see Chenle waiting for you outside. He’s leaning on his car and has every plan of driving you to school. You told him that it’s fine, but he insists. Even during days where you have classes and he doesn’t have, he’ll still drive you to school.

Then came the gifts. The foods he brings you, and small gifts that he insists that it’s nothing. You tried to ignore it but you knew where it would lead, and you were suspicious of it.

“Whatever you’re planning, stop it,” you told him one day.

Chenle glances at you, dribbling the basketball so casually as he throws it to the ring. It went straight to it and you only watched as he caught it.

“What do you mean?”

“You can be honest with me, if your friends just made a bet to date me or something, you can now tell me because I don’t have any plans of making myself look like a fool,” you explained, letting out a small sigh. “If you’re doing this because you’re bored, find another girl.”

“You got to stop reading romance novels in your past time,” Chenle mocked instead. “I’m not that type of guy yn, if you want, fine I like you.”

“Stop fooling around —”

“I’m not, and if you find yourself doubting me, it’s okay,” Chenle said with a serious tone. “Because I’ll prove to you that my intentions are genuine.”

That’s how you ended up being courted by Zhong Chenle. You know that it’s some old-fashioned thing to do but it was Chenle’s decision to do so. He has every plan of making you his. While you’re just there, accepting all things he does to you.

You bear no feelings for Chenle at first. You found it suspicious that he chose you out of all the girls in your college. But he explains so casually that he’s just drawn to you. Whatever that means. You think.

But as day passed by, you slowly opened your heart to him. He’s not the ice prince everyone calls. Chenle also has a side that only he opens to you. He’s good with his words, can be straightforward but you’ll find yourself agreeing with him. He also likes teasing you, and you’d come to realize that you’re lucky that you hear his laughter on a daily basis.

Soon, you find yourself thinking that maybe being courted by Chenle isn’t that bad at all.

“Hey!” you looked up to see Chenle in front of you. He’s wearing a plain tshirt and jogger pants. Hair still dripping wet indicating that he’s fresh from the post-practice shower. His gym bag slinged on the left side of his shoulder.

You only smiled at him as you grabbed your backpack and stood up from the bleachers.

“Should we go now?” you asked, Chenle only nods. He helped you get down from the bleachers and as you two began walking, he grabbed your backpack and wore it on his left arm. You only smile at his gesture but shift to the book you’re reading.

“What’s that?” he asked, pointing out the small book you’re reading.

“Oh, it’s Dracula by Bram Stoker,” you answered, showing him the book cover. “It’s for my Gothic Literature class, I’m doing a novel analysis for it.”

“About vampires?” he asked.

“Yeah, why not?” you only smiled. “The plot’s interesting plus the writing style is different.”

“Didn’t like the novel,” Chenle casually said. “There’s a lot of inaccuracies.”

You raised an eyebrow, “inaccuracies?”

“About vampires.”

You laughed at his comment. “Okay nerd, are you a big fan of vampires? Next thing you’ll say, twilight isn’t an accurate representation of vampires.”

“You’re right actually,” Chenle pointed out. “Vampires can actually be exposed to the sun, it’s just that they’re just more active during night because they’re more connected to the moon rather than the sun.”

“Okay where did you even learn that?” you raised an eyebrow. “What’s next? they can actually eat garlic and can actually touch silver.”

“Vampires can tolerate garlic, it’s a food preference just like how you don’t like some types of vegetables while they can touch silver but not those silver stakes that are blessed with holy water. That’ll kill them.”

“You’re bluffing.”

“I’m not.”

“Then how come you know much about vampires? Wouldn’t be surprised if you’re secretly a vampire.”

But Chenle only laughs at your comment. He swings his arms around you pulling you closer to his stance. “What if I am really a vampire? And then I’m gonna eat you!”

You let out a small shriek as Chenle tickles you on your waist. You squirmed your way out of his touch, and as you catch your breath, you can hear the horrendous laughter from your suitor.

“You’re such an asshole!” you shouted, playfully kicking his shin in which he was able to dodge it quickly.

“Sorry, it’s just you’re just too cute!” Chenle squealed, squishing your cheeks before he steals a kiss on your nose.

“That’s not going to work Zhong Chenle,” you said, sticking out a tongue.

“Yeah I know, I just want to kiss you,” he smirks. “Come on, let’s just go get some iced coffee for you.”

“Ugh, you reek of her again,” Renjun complained the moment Chenle entered the mansion.

“Isn’t she sweet?” Chenle proudly said, making his way towards his room while his cousin was just behind his tracks.

“Not for me,” Renjun pointed out. “She’s too sweet that I’ll get cavities just from a drop of her blood.”

“Well that’s a relief because I have no plans of sharing her to you.”

The older one only lets out a sigh. “The full moon will be out in a week, if you don’t get the chance to drink from her —”

“Yeah I know, i’ll die from starvation,” Chenle rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry about me, I can handle it.”

“I just hope you’d do it in a decent way.'' It was the last thing Renjun said before leaving Chenle alone.

As Renjun’s footsteps started to fade, Chenle could only laugh as he grabbed his phone, revealing a stolen photo of yours.

“You don’t have to worry about that dear cousin.”

Despite being courted by Chenle for months, you two never really had a proper date. You’re used to him taking you out to eat dinner or lunch just outside your college’s vicinity but the formal ones never really happened.

So you were surprised when Chenle asks you if you’re free on Sunday night.

“For what?”

“A date,” he said so casually and yet, it made your heart jump in joy.

“A date?”

“Yeah, I mean I’ve been courting you but I never really took you out for a date,” he said.

“I mean, it’s okay with me but can I ask where?” you asked.

“I actually wanted to invite you to my place,” Chenle pointed out. “The full moon’s happening tonight and my mother has a garden that’s full of moonflowers. It only blooms during the full moon and I want you to watch it bloom with you.”

“Oh Chenle,” you gasped. Flustered with his words. “That’s sweet of you but I'm scared that I might draw a wrong impression on your family.”

“Oh don’t worry about my family, they already like you,” he brushes it off. “I’ve told them how amazing you are and they couldn’t wait for you to be part of the family.”

You only let out a small chuckle. “Okay, I’ll be happy to watch the moonflower with you.”

You watched as Chenle’s smile grew bigger to your answer. In a swift second, he gives you a hug and a kiss on the cheeks. “Thanks yn, you’re not going to regret it.”

“Those moonflowers better be worth it.” you teased.

But you were only welcomed by a small pinch from Chenle. “Of course they will be.”

When Sunday night arrived, you felt nervous. You tried your best to find the most appropriate dress you can find from your closet.

With the help of your best friend, the two of you managed to find the most decent yet formal looking dress from your closet. It was a black sleeved dress that hugs your chest area and has an A-line skirt just above the knee. You paired it with short heeled sandals. You let your hair flow, curling the ends and doing light makeup.

You let out a sigh as you wore the silver cross necklace that your mother gave to you. Adorning it with silver stud earrings to compliment your overall outfit. As the night deepens, you can feel your heart beating fast. The moment you heard the honk from Chenle’s car, you did everything at the last minute and grabbed the small bag that contained your things.

As you open the gate, Chenle is there, leaning against his car’s hood. He looked exquisite in his black slacks and white sleeved polo, rolled down to ¾’s and two buttons undone. You were in daze, thinking that you indeed scored a good-looking guy as your suitor.

Chenle glanced at you and did a double take, he was about to approach you when he stopped, you became confused when you noticed the sudden discomfort from his face.

“Is everything okay?” you asked.

“Oh I’m fine,” he said. “Your necklace looks nice.”

You smiled, “really? I got it from my mom.”

“It’s pretty,” he said looking away. “It’s a shame that I won’t be able to give you my gift.”

You raised an eyebrow. “A gift?”

From his back pocket, he grabs something and shows it to you. Your eyes wide at the silver necklace that’s adorned with a topaz trinket.

“It’s beautiful,” you said, touching the topaz.

“It’s from my mom,” Chenle answered. “I was hoping if you could —”

“Of course! I’ll be happy,” you only smiled.

Chenle watched as you took off the cross necklace, he could only sigh internally as you placed it inside your bag. He then carefully places the necklace around your necklace. Clasping the lock before grazing his finger against your nape.

“It’s beautiful,” you said once again.

“Should we get going?” he asked, making you nod.

The Zhong Mansion can be found on the outskirts of the town. It just sinked into you just how far Chenle drives just so he can pick you up. The gesture makes your feelings for him deepen. You watched as you trailed off to a more secluded part, turning left towards a dark road that seems endless to you.

You would eye Chenle from time to time but it didn’t budge him, he kept on driving until you passed by huge bamboo stalks, swaying slightly against the wind. And from there, you noticed how there’s a few lantern lights from afar. You guessed that that’s Chenle’s place.

After minutes of driving on the endless road, you found yourself in front of a white steel gate. Chenle honks for a few seconds before the gate opens slowly and from there, your jaw drops.

A white mansion rests idly on a small hill. Chenle drove further until you two reached the entrance of the house. There, he shuts off the engine while you remain frozen from where you are sitting. You flinched as you felt his hands holding yours.

“Nervous?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you said. “Your house is huge.”

“I know,” Chenle only said. “Let’s go inside? Everyone’s waiting for us.”

Your worries disappeared when you were welcomed by warm hugs and laughter. There were only a few people and just like Chenle said, it was an exclusive party. They keep their life private, away from the prying eyes of the public. Only a few guests are allowed and you’re just lucky that they agreed to invite you over.

Chenle introduced you one by one to his family, and just like what he said, they seem to like you. You only smile as they give you handshakes or hugs. You found it incredibly fascinating how they’re so pale and seem ageless. You guessed that that’s what happens to rich people.

“Finally glad to meet you,” you turned around to see a guy around your age. He’s wearing a black sheer blouse that’s tucked in his black slacks. He’s insanely pale and pretty as he gracefully took a sip from the red wine that he’s holding.

“And you are?” you asked while waiting for Chenle who went out to get you some food.

“Renjun, Chenle’s cousin,” he introduced. “Care for some?”

You only stare at the wine he’s holding and you shake your head gently. “Sorry, I don’t drink red wine.”

Renjun laughs, “who says it’s red wine?”

“Then what is it?”

He brings the glass closer to you, “why don’t you find out?”

You stared at him for a second, an innocent smile forming on his lips. You raise an eyebrow before accepting it when Chenle grabs your hands.

“Chenle —”

“Auntie is looking for you Renjun-ge,” Chenle said with a cold tone.

But Renjun wasn’t fazed by his cousin’s words. “Alrighty then, see you later yn,” he gives you a wink before leaving you two.

Chenle lets go of your hand. You ignored the way it hurt you, Chenle placed the plates full of food in front of you and sat next to you.

“Sorry about that, Renjun tends to be a prankster,” Chenle apologized. His hands make their way to your wrist as he lightly presses it.

“It’s fine, I get it,” you assured. “What’s in that drink by the way?”

“Alcohol but not wine,” Chenle answered.

You let it be. Giving him a sign that it’s fine now and you two can start digging in. The whole night, you two enjoyed mingling with his family. Dancing to the music and even talking to his parents. They were lovely people, despite the enormous teasing that you got from them for being the first girl Chenle has brought, you couldn’t help but feel at home with them.

“It’s almost eleven,” Chenle pointed out. “Should we go see the moonflowers?”

“What about your family?” he asked.

“I know a perfect spot to watch it, come on,” you weren’t able to say yes when he tugs you away.

You two walked towards the backyard of their property. A wide grassfield that's a field with nothing but tall trees and wildflowers. You only hold on to Chenle as he finds the route towards the garden of moonflowers.

“Wow,” you mumbled as you two reached the garden. Chenle finds the marbled bench that’s beside a pillar where the moonflower vines crawled. You looked at the white buds, they’re twitching as the full moon slowly rises, gray clouds acting like a curtain opening slowly the bright gleam of the moon.

You sat there in awe, watching the moonflower bloom slowly and beautifully. Your eyes widen in amazement because it’s the first time you have witnessed a flower bloom, let alone in the middle of the night.

“This is amazing,” you only mumbled. “I’m so glad that you brought me here. Thank you Chenle.”

“I’m happy too,” he smiles.

Silently, you gaze on his eyes. That’s when you noticed how his eyes weren’t in the shade of black, more of a unique reddish brown. The two of you stared at each other for a second before Chenle leaned on you slowly.

You couldn’t help but to close your eyes as Chenle’s lips crashed onto yours. It was soft, tasted like cherries, so sweet and addicting that you couldn’t help but to kiss him back. You can feel your heart beating fast, the feeling was something new yet blissful.

Chenle’s arms trailed around your waist, you couldn’t help but to distinctively wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as you two kissed each other under the bright moonlight.

He breaks the kiss, leaving trails on your jaw, going down and down, earning a moan from you as you feel his lips on your neck, somewhere you’re sensitive the most.

But your eyes widened as you felt something sharp — a deep sting stabbing on your neck. You let out a mute scream as you tried to grasp for air. The stabbed deepens more and as you try to push Chenle away, his grip on your arms tightens.

“Chenle…w-what?” you stuttered, finally having the courage to speak. You let out a scream as you felt the stab being removed from your neck. As you come face to face with Chenle, you watch as he licks his lips in pleasure, blood dripping from his fangs — something that you were surprised that he had.

“Fuck you’re so sweet,” he said. “I’ll never get tired of drinking your blood.”

“What?” it was the only thing you could say. Your mind is turning hazy, feeling the blood dripping out of your neck. You feel pale and weak, watching Chenle cup your cheeks. His eyes turned red fully.

“You’re driving me crazy yn, your blood is driving me crazy. You don’t know how much I endure taking you in whenever I’m with you,”

The truth was out. You can feel your tears flowing out from your eyes. No wonder he was drawn to you. It was your blood that he’s addicted to. Chenle’s eyes darken and yet, his thumbs swiped the tears away.

“Oh don’t worry dear, I still love you,” he said. “You’re going to be mine anyways.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, heart beating fast.

“It’s easy, you’re going to be mine,” Chenle said, resting his forehead on yours. Eyes gazing at you with every dark intention he had in his mind. From there, he smirks. “We’ll share the same blood and drink from it. You’ll be just like us.”

“No!” you shouted, pushing him away but he was just too strong. You struggled your way out of his grip but Chenle was just too strong for your weak body. He pushes you against the marbled bench, trapping you in between his arms. His left hands grabbing both your wrist to stop you from struggling.

“Don’t worry, it’ll just hurt a little,” he assured, gazing his hands on your cheeks. You watch as he leans close to you once again.

And you could only let out a guttural scream as his fangs deepened on your neck once again.

#nct dream #nct imagines #nct dream fic #nct fic #nct x reader #nct #nct chenle #nct chenle fic #nct dream chenle #chenle fic

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thatonebirdwrites · 26 days ago

Text

Book

(Part of Lena's POV from Coffee) Follow-up to L-Corp, Chill, and Scotch (Lena's POV), Catco and Family (Kara's POV), Kara and Heat, Plumerias and Ink and Aura

Hospital time exists outside of real time. Lena finds the days fold into each other, like origami, each design needlessly complicated mess. The pain simmers like an old friend, while the other symptoms irritate her. Sitting upright is difficult, and the dizziness exacerbates her sense of unreality.

Plus the unrelenting nausea from the medicines has her not wanting to eat anything.

But Sam, Kara, and Kelly won't stand for that. Nor will her nurses. So she drinks the broths and meal-replacement drinks, snacks on the frozen fruit pops, and tolerates the crummy decaffeinated tea.

She's certain she'd lose her mind if it weren't for the steady stream of books.

The one Kara reads to her she keeps on the bedside table for that is their thing now. It surprises her how much she enjoys Kara's reading voice, and the unique voices she gives each character is utterly delightful. She should ask Kara to come read for the kids at the Luthor Children's Hospital. They'd likely adore it.

So for the times when she's alone and not sleeping or taken for wheelchair 'walks,' she reads whatever the technicians find in the meager hospital library. Most are romances, which aren't her cup of tea, so she urges them to seek out any other genre.

Which is why she's reading about the origins of corn today. She expects it to be bland, but instead, she finds herself engrossed in the vivid prose, each description almost like poetry. The writer is an Indigenous woman who gardens for a living, and her storytelling prowess amazes Lena. She also reminds her of Kara due to how easily excited and fervent her prose becomes when digging deep into the history of corn and its interactions with humanity.

She's so engrossed that she misses the knock on her door at first.

"Ms. Luthor?"

She looks up, confused. The person in her doorway isn't any of the nurses or technicians that she's seen so far. Instead, they are dressed in what looks oddly like pastor garments. Their skin a deep mahogany, and their eyes a brown so dark that it blends with the black of their pupils.

"Yes?" She does not like religious people. So why one stands in her doorway irritates her.

"I was asked to stop by." The person smiles and takes a step closer. "I'm Chaplain Grove, they/them pronouns, and an agnostic. I'm here for those that aren't religious but may wish to have someone to help process their stay."

Lena blinks and tucks her bookmark into the book. She adjusts her bed with the controls so she's sort-of sitting upright. It makes her body ache and her chest hurt, but the numbing meds in the IV cools her arm and helps control the pain.

"I asked for you? When?" She searches her memory, but the unreality of time in the hospital makes it very hard to be certain of the day or when events transpire. She notes the clock, and how it's still an hour before Kara shows up.

At first that knowledge made her anxious. Now she years for it. Kara's presence grounds her, comforts her, and it honestly terrifies her how she's already fallen back into Kara's gravity well.

She has no sense of self-preservation when it comes to that blonde alien.

Grove nods. "You asked to talk with someone about your situation."

"Oh." That's right. The nurse last night, after the nightly meds, asked if she needed anything, and she'd replied, "I think I need an outside opinion about my situation. Someone who doesn't know me."

They pull a chair closer and lean forward, their hands clasped over their knees. "What is it you need?"

She might as well roll with this. "Someone I love deeply hurt me. Lied to me about their..." she can't outright say alternate identity, so she settles for something mundane, "... side job. I know it's a dangerous one, but still. It hurt."

"Your partner?" they ask.

Why is everyone calling Kara that? Lena probably should correct people, but part of her desperately wants it to be true. But that requires more trust than Lena knows how to give.

So she nods and just goes with it.

Maybe this bubble will burst when she leaves the hospital, and she'll have to reckon with the reality of their shattered friendship (relationship?). She's too tired, too in pain to think about that now. She wants the comfort, the grounding, the solidity of Kara's presence.

As much as Kelly and Sam's presence helps ground her too, it's not the same.

"Have you talked with her about how you feel?" The Chaplain asks.

"Yes, before my hospitalization." If their gazebo talk counts as that. "She apologized, promised to be honest, and do better."

"And has she?"

The question stops Lena's thoughts entirely. Has Kara done so?

She thinks through the conversations they've had since Kara's confession at the Pulitzer's. Thinks of how open Kara has been about all aspects of herself. Thinks of the tentative stories Kara shares about her childhood on Krypton, stories she admits she's been too fearful to tell anyone, even Alex. How honest she'd been about the need to hide, and how difficult it is to break those habits.

Little bits and pieces that slip out during her visiting hours.

"Yes, yes, she has." Surprise fills her, and a surge of yearning that brings tears to her eyes. "It's hard to trust her still."

"What's stopping you?"

"I..." she frowns. What is indeed? "Fear I guess."

Chaplain Grove nods. "That's a common motivator. It can be hard to push past it. Do you want to trust her again?"

"Yes, yes, so much so." The word spills out fervently, the desire for Kara so intense that Lena has to briefly close her eyes. God, she's hopeless, isn't she?

"Then why not choose to trust her? I know it sounds easy to say, but often the act of choosing can help build that foundation of trust. By choosing to trust, by choosing to try again, by choosing to be present, trust begins to grow again. So again, what's stopping you?"

Damn, this dude is good. She doesn't know what to say in response to that. So she settles for a simple reply. "You've given me a lot to consider. Thank you. I'd like to think it over alone now."

They smile. "Do you need anything else?" When she shakes her head, they stand and adjust their vest. "Then I'll let you rest. If you need me again, don't hesitate to ask."

Lena lifts her hand in a farewell, and watches them leave. The silence wraps around her, and the chaplain's words dance through her thoughts.

Choosing to trust. She knows it's never that easy.

With a sigh, Lena places her book on the side table and lowers the bed to an one-hundred and sixty degree angle. Much easier on her chest and back.

She looks up at the speckled ceiling, a drab white, and glances around the room at the paintings of waterfalls and mountains. Outside her window a palm tree moves in the breeze, and she sees the wing of the other side of the hospital.

She thinks of her talk with Kelly yesterday during her visit.

"How are you feeling today?" Kelly settles into the chair by her bed. She has a bag with her, and she pulls out knitting supplies to keep her hands busy.

"Pain, exhaustion. Irritation. Nothing new. What about you?" The way Kelly keeps their conversations simple helps Lena cope. She doesn't want complications right now. She's too sick and scared.

Kelly sighs. "I relate to the exhaustion and irritation. Alex and I had an argument about the lies she's done in regards to Kara and her work."

"Oh." Lena winces. She's partially responsible for that since she'd outed Kara to Kelly. "I'm sorry."

"No, no, it's all right." Kelly waves her hand at Lena with a smile. "We talked it out last night. I understand she couldn't tell me about Kara without permission, and Kara's need to hide is... a need of hers." She starts a new row of whatever she's knitting, the yarn a beautiful blend of violet, red, and turquoise. "Alex admits that part of that drive to hide is her and her mother's fault. They wanted to protect Kara. Apparently the government found out where she was as a teenager, and tried to take her away for training."

Lena's eyes widen. That sounds creepily like what her brother did with Red Daughter. "Did they?"

Kelly shakes her head. "Alex's father offered himself instead. Alex didn't get into specifics. There's a lot of trauma there."

Lena rests her hands on her stomach and looks at the ceiling. "Gives more context to it all," she says after a long silence.

"Yeah, it certainly does."

"Do -- do you forgive Alex for her lies?" Lena's not sure exactly what she's asking, but she needs to know Kelly's answer.

Kelly studies her for a long moment, her fingers deftly moving along. The clatter of the knitting needles roots Lena in the present far more than she cares to admit.

"Yes. It's not easy, but that's part of loving someone. We both apologized, we both sought repair, and we'll do better." She smiles and pauses her work to lightly touch Lena's hand. "This is what worked for me, so don't feel like you must do the same."

Lena smiles grateful for Kelly's words, but truthfully, she wants to forgive Kara. She wants things to be okay. She's tired of being angry.

She's facing death yet again, but this time it's slow and painful. Where each day feels like it might be her last. Where sometimes her breaths are so labored, her heart pulsing with pain, that the alarm of the EKG beeps a honing signal for Lady Death to visit.

But then nurses come and stabilize her, and she's wrapped once again in that timeless haze of this drawn-out healing regimen.

She's under no illusion that if Kara and Sam had not intervened, she would be dead.

The memory of Kelly's talk coupled with the Chaplain's words tangle together in Lena's mind. It feels almost like the universe itself is telling her to trust Kara.

The more she considers the situation, the more she sees how much of a pedestal she'd placed on Kara. She'd assumed perfection, placed far too much expectations on Kara, which was bound to explode at some point, regardless of Lex's meddling. That isn't fair to anyone.

Yes, Kara hurt her. Yes, trusting her again is terrifying.

But her actions since the confession proves that Kara is trying to be better. Lena can see that now; funny how being ill gives her a clarity she failed to have prior.

A knock sounds on her door again, and this time when it opens, it's Kara.

Her beautiful, lovely, and often frustrating love. She's wearing black slacks, suspenders, and a button-down violet shirt. Downright illegal handsome, especially with her hair pulled back in a ponytail.

"Hey," Kara says, nervously. "How are you feeling?"

Lena reaches out her hand. The urge to touch Kara, to feel her warmth under her fingers overwhelms her.

"Why not choose to trust her?" The chaplain's words echo in her head, followed by Kelly's "...that's part of loving someone..."

Kara scoots the chair close to her bed and grasps her hand. Lena tugs until she's even closer, and presses Kara's hand against her heart.

Since her confession, Kara's followed through on each promise, has been almost brutally honest at times, and here she is, faithfully coming every day for hours at a time. She's Supergirl, and yet she puts her Catco job, Supergirl, and all her duties aside for Lena.

Lena knows she's staring. She sees how Kara shifts and the blush that blooms on her face.

A smile curves her lips. "I'm glad you're here," she says quietly and finds she means it.

The hospital is less scary, less daunting when Kara is here. Sam may hold back the dread with her jokes and tales, but Kara's presence melts into Lena like water saturating her dehydrated cells.

A literal sunbeam and golden retriever rolled into one, and Lena finds that she can't stay away. Doing so nearly killed her.

Choose to trust?

Okay, she will then. As terrifying as that is.

***

The chaplain visits four more times, partly due to Kelly's advice. "They're trained in therapy too. Some of my cohorts ended up as chaplains. The other option is to ask for a psychologist, but they often can be more formal. I highly recommend either."

Lena trusts Kelly's expertise, so she asks for the chaplain. Each visit is only thirty minutes, but she finds, to her shock, that talking about her emotions help.

It's a novel idea.

Not a new one. Sam has been on her for years to attend therapy. She has no intention of telling her of this development since Sam is already insufferable enough.

But Sam notices the change anyway.

"You sure are calm, despite being locked up in this room," Sam says one evening. Lena's not sure which day of the stay, that timelessness of the hospital is as present as always.

"Hardly locked up," Lena drawls. "I just am too ill to move much."

"Do you walk at all?" Sam leans forward, and digs her elbows into Lena's bed to prop up her head. "Because I read laying for long periods isn't good for your muscles."

"Yes, the nurses have a physical therapist come by to work with me." Lena rolls her eyes. "I'm being cared for, Sam."

"Good. You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you seem more at peace with yourself." Sam smiles, but her forehead still has that crinkle of concern. "Who would have thought a hospital stay would bring you peace."

"Forced rest does wonders to the spirit," Lena says.

"Then perhaps we'll work in forced rest periods into your work hours," Sam jokes with a grin. "It'll be the Lena Luthor Rest Hour."

Lena weakly swats Sam, but she smiles. If this stay has taught her anything, it's drilled home how important rest is for one's body. How she's not a machine but a human with weaknesses and strengths.

And having a human body means rest as much as she loathes how it breaks into her productivity.

It hits her then.

"It's a Luthor trait to keep going despite the pain," Lena says, slowly. "I was taught productivity and efficiency is what matters the most. But that's not right at all. Love matters the most. I wouldn't be here if not for the love you and Kara have for me." She looks at Sam and tears sting her eyes. "Thank you."

Sam gently rests her hand over Lena's. "Of course. You're family."

Family.

Such a confusing premise, but Lena's starting to understand what family can be. Warmth, comfort, love, laughter, tears, grief, and trusting others to have her back.

It's something she's deeply wanted for so long, and she finds it here with Sam, with Kara, and with Kara's friends.

Sure, the lies hurt still, but no one is perfect. Even someone who loves her can fuck up, just as she messes up too. Perfection is unattainable, and she's learning to be okay with that.

Maybe choosing to trust isn't as hard as she thought.

***

Lena finds herself falling each time Kara visits. Not physically falling, but more falling deeper into love.

She's given herself permission to tentatively trust that Kara means it when she says she'll do better. That opens a door somewhere in Lena's heart, and she finds that she can't look away when Kara's at her side.

She wants to map Kara's face with her eyes, to capture this moment in perfect detail in her memory. The warmth of Kara's hand in her own as she holds it against her heart seeps through Lena's spirit.

Kara doesn't have to do this. She doesn't have to come faithfully, and yet she does. She's always done this. Always thrown aside her duties whenever Lena was in need.

The lies hurt, yes, but the warmth of these other memories began to break that hurt down. To repurpose it into the growing trust foundation. She thinks of the Japanese style of using gold to seal cracks in ceramic vessels. She's mending the cracks with Kara.

Learning about Kara's mind-healing sessions melts more gold into the cracks of their foundation. It's evidence that Lena didn't realize she needed to witness.

So shouldn't Lena try to be better for Kara too? Isn't that part of loving someone?

Her eyes rove over Kara's face, the tan of her skin, the golden locks that curl in perfect ringlets, her soft features, and the light she emits by simply being Kara.

God, she loves her so much. Those months making herself scarce had been torture, and now, as she struggles to heal from Endocarditis, she's caught up in the gravity well of Kara's gentle and loving support.

Kara had been the one to alert Sam, and now Lena has a fighting chance to beat this infection of the heart. It's almost poetic in a way, that of all her organs it's her heart impacted the most.

"Do I have something on my face?" Kara blushes and fiddles with her glasses.

Lena laughs. She can't help it. Kara is adorable when she's flustered. "Just your glasses."

Healing may be painful at times, but it also wraps her in a joy and fervent hope. One she's never allowed herself to ever feel prior. She's always been waiting for everything to crash down on her head, for the good to be taken from her.

And yet, Kara, Sam, and the others haven't left. Her brother tried to steal this all from her by ripping into her insecurities and fears in the worst way.

And yet, despite it all, despite the horror of what she's done, she's not alone. Kara is still here.

Lena wants to kiss her. (She doesn't.)

***

When Kara comes the next day, Lena has finished yet another book. This one a silly mystery, where she'd guessed the twist halfway through the book. But it passes the time.

Lena's restless. Tired of the same walls, but she's too ill to handle siting up for long, and the antibiotics side effects exhaust her.

On days when the symptoms are less, she sits in the reclining chair by the window. Birds like to build nests in the palm trees outside, and watching them brings her a quiet comfort.

The doctor's visit yesterday had alarmed Kara. Lena could see that, but it's no surprise that the infection is stubborn. Much like Lena herself.

She suspects this will end with surgery, and she knows how much Kara fears that. She'd been uncharacteristically wild in her tone, her eyes wide with fear, during the doctor's discussion about test results and Lena's condition.

So today, Lena holds out her hand and pulls Kara close, until the chair is pushed against her bed. She reaches out to gently run her hand through Kara's locks. She wore them down, likely due to Supergirl duties before this visit.

Kara studies her, intently, a quizzical look on her face.

Lena's fingers trail down Kara's cheek to her chin. She's not sure how to comfort Kara. Such things don't come easy for her, and with how ill she feels, she can't do much more than offer words and touch.

"You're here," she murmurs. The words inadequately sum up her thoughts. "We're both here."

"Yes?" Kara is still, as if afraid to disturb her. Her blue eyes are dark, and her tongue licks her lips so swiftly that Lena wonders if she imagines it.

She runs her thumb over Kara's lips, and feels the moisture there. "Time seems suspended here," she says, softly. "Days blend into one another. The sun rises and sets, and yet I'm still here. You keep saving me."

They've spoken of this before, but she can't help it. She's had far too much time to think over her life while stuck in this hospital room. The antibiotics certainly add to that surreal feeling, with how woozy they make her feel.

"I always will." Kara's gaze sears the air between them, and Lena wants to grab Kara's shirt, tug her closer, and kiss her.

But she's still too weak. So she runs her thumb over Kara's lips instead. Kara doesn't stop her.

"You're gorgeous, you know?" Lena whispers.

The blush decorates Kara's cheeks, and she sucks in a breath. The expelled air warm against Lena's fingers.

"It's cute how flustered you get with compliments," Lena says, dryly. She can't hide her smile, especially as Kara's blush deepens.

"Lena," Kara whines, but says nothing more.

Lena rubs her thumb over Kara's cheek, and thinks of how this grounds her and distracts her far more than pain meds and reading books.

For Kara is a book in of herself. Her pages on display for Lena to read, her stories rich with details now that they are fully honest with each other. With Kara, she can read forever, never tiring of the tale, never wanting to put the book down.

She holds Kara's story in her hands, and she wants nothing more than to delve into its prose, to mine it for the wonder of Kara's indomitable spirit and her endless trove of knowledge.

Each page turned, each moment shared, spills yet more gold into the cracks, and Lena feels full of hope and love.

Does she write upon Kara's heart in turn? Is their growing relationship transcribing a shared story between them? Is this what partnership is like?

All of her care team calls Kara her partner, and Lena finds she likes it. She likes it far more than she should.

Is this partnership forged because Lena's ill? Because she's in the hospital? Will it stay once she recovers and can return home?

She doesn't want to let it go.

Tears sting her eyes. Wetness dampens her cheeks. Kara's hand wipes away her tears.

"I'm here," Kara says, gently. "You're not alone."

Lena presses her face into Kara's hand.

Trust grows when the ground is fertile. This timeless hospital stay fertilizes the ground, pushes Lena to face her mortality, and she knows that Kara deserves so much more than Lena.

And yet, Kara is here anyway.

An open book that unfurls more stories each day. Each glimpse into Kara's Kryptonian heritage draws Lena closer, each memory of her Earth years sparks Lena's curiosity. Each time Kara turns the questions on Lena, and tentative she shares her own stories.

It goes against her instincts, and yet, she understands Kara's fear of loss, her need to hide. Hasn't she too hidden herself behind an impenetrable wall of ice? Yet, Kara's light melts the ice.

Will she survive this infection? Lena doesn't know, and tries to be realistic. So why not allow herself this guilty pleasure?

She's trying, and Lena can do no less.

"I know," she says. "You've always been here."

That truth transcribes across both their hearts.

***

Being under anesthesia is not a pleasant experience. Lena wakes groggy, confused, and afraid. Her heart aches, and her vision blurry, her glasses and contacts somewhere else. She feels along her blankets, touches the railings of the bed, and the cold metal grounds her. The lights are dim but still too bright.

The fear slowly abates. She's in the hospital. That's right, and she's recovering from something. It takes longer for the thought to coalesce into the word 'surgery.'

That's right. A surgery happened.

Her last memory was the anesthesiologist explaining each of his actions, while he administers the dose. The surgeon and nurses are all dressed in their blue surgery garments, gloves, and masks, their hair tucked up into the blue hats and hair nets.

Now she lays on her hospital bed in a large room full of other patients. Nurses and other specialists flutter between beds.

One of them stops by her bed. "Waking up?" The nurse sits down next to her. "Can you tell me your name?"

Lena blinks at the man, his skin a deep amber, and his eyes a warm hazel. "Lena," she manages, her throat dry. "Kieran Luthor."

"Good. Do you know what year it is?"

She's confused. Why is he asking? "2020..."

"Great." The nurse smiles. "Would you like something to drink? We can offer some apple juice or water."

"Juice please. Where exactly am I? Did -- did the surgery go..." She's a little dizzy still.

"You're in recovery. We need to watch over you until the anesthesia is fully out of your system." The nurse adjusts the blood pressure cuff and slides the oxy-meter onto her finger. He writes something on a clipboard by her bed. "Surgery went well. Once you've recovered more, the doctor will speak to you."

That's a relief. Lena briefly closes her eyes. Her mind flutters to Kara, and she pictures Kara's affectionate smile, the warmth of her body, and the kindness in her words. She opens her eyes and blinks away the floaties.

"Where's Kara?"

"Your partner?" Even the recovery nurses call her that. Huh.

"Yeah." She really shouldn't be encouraging this, but she can't help herself. She wants strong but gentle arms to hold her close. To warm her and remind her that she's alive. She wants Kara at her side, and that yearning pierces through the haze on her mind.

"She's waiting at your room. We don't normally allow visitors back here." The nurse pats her hands. "Let me get your juice."

She watches him walk toward the counters at the back of the room. Her memory sizzles with fog, but that's slowly starting to lift. Her thoughts start to come easier.

When he returns with the juice and a drinking straw, she gratefully sips, the cool liquid soothing her throat.

She's left alone again, but only brief as the nurse comes by to take her vitals again. It's a procedure that she's grown used to in her long stay here, and she moves her arm the way the nurse needs to get the most accurate readings.

No clocks within vicinity, which means she has no idea what time it is or even the exact day. She sips her juice as her mind slowly reclaims itself from the haze of anesthesia.

Once again, time sneaks away from her.

The ceiling is painted a light blue with white clouds, and the air has a sterile scent. Soft, pleasant music hums in the background.

"Ms. Luthor?" The surgeon steps up to her bedside. He's back in a white lab coat, with his blue mask still on his face. His hair is slicked back in a ponytail, his skin a deep tan. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," she says. "Less pain."

He smiles. "Good. The surgery was a success. We cleared the pustules and repaired your valve. I recommend taking it easy for the next few weeks. Rest is your friend here. Your heart needs more time to heal."

"Okay." Lena figures that rest will be her life for the next few months. Between Sam and Kara, they'll keep her to that. "What else do I need for recovery?"

"I'll speak with your primary doctor, but I do recommend physical and occupational therapy. You'll need to ease back into exercise, and both can assist with that transition." He makes a notation on the clipboard. "Any other questions?"

Normally she'd unleash a dozen or so, but she's tired still and the haze has only recently lifted. "No, thank you."

"Okay. If you have any, ask your nurse, and we'll come by to chat again." He looks over the equipment recording her vitals and heartbeat. "Looking good. Would you like to see your partner now?"

Lena nods. "Yes, please."

"I'll have the nurses wheel you to her. We'll need to supervise you a few more days, but if things continue to improve, you'll be home soon enough." He clips the pen back the clipboard and pats her shoulder awkwardly. "Take care, Ms. Luthor. A nurse will be by shortly."

She's not sure why she assumed 'wheel' meant a wheelchair, but she's only a trifle disappointed when the 'wheeling' means the entire bed. For the ride, she tilts the bed to an angle that lets her sort of sit up. Not a full ninety degrees, but an easier one-hundred and fifty degrees.

The trip from the recovery suite to her old hospital room has far too much bright lights, and Lena closes her eyes against the glare.

She opens them when she hears Kara's lovely voice call, "Lena! Oh, gosh, you're okay." Kara stands in her room with Sam. Both stood from where they'd been waiting by the window.

"Hi." Lena lifts a hand in greeting. The technician lines up her bed and rehooks the vitals -- the EKG, oxy-meter, blood pressure cuff, and IV.

"If you have any questions or need something, let us know." The technician nods at Sam and Kara. He places the controls by Lena's hand. "The doctor will be by later. Rest."

After he leaves, Lena takes a steadying breath. "I survived," she says with a hint of pride. The pain simmers still, but it doesn't diminish her relief at finally seeing the end point of this journey.

"You sure did," Sam says, tears in her eyes. "You really need to stop scaring the shit out of us, Lena."

"And leave you complacent?" Lena drawls. "Better to keep you on your toes."

"Lena..." Kara tentatively reaches for her hand, but hesitates.

That won't do. Lena didn't just survive a heart infection for Kara to hesitate.

She grasps Kara's hand and tugs her closer. Her own hand trembles too much, but that's okay. Recovery takes time. She presses Kara's hand over her heart and smiles.

"I'm so glad you're going to be okay," Kara says, tearfully.

"This one was losing her mind waiting." Sam drops back into the armchair. "Almost used up my entire Dad joke catalog. Going to have to devise new ones now."

"I can't wait," Lena says sarcastically. Sam's Dad jokes are the worst, but that's part of Sam's charm.

"She's beating me at them," Kara says with a slight pout. "I tried to come up with some, but she had two to every one of mine."

"A dad joke contest?" Lena doesn't know whether to laugh or roll her eyes at their ridiculousness.

Sam laughs. "Oh yes. Next time, we'll have you and Ruby judge us. Whoever loses has to buy the snacks for the other."

"What?" Kara looks at Sam, mortified. "No way. You'll just buy me healthy snacks. I've seen what you and Ruby eat."

Sam shrugs. "Then don't lose."

Lena can't help it. She laughs. It makes her chest ache. Tears stings her eyes, and an immense gratitude and wonder saturates her. "What would I do without you two?"

"Be extremely bored," Sam says.

"I won't even entertain that," Kara says, firmly. "Life without you is dull and sad."

Lena softens. She's seen what she's like without Kara, and she doesn't ever want to go back to that. She lifts her other hand and tenderly touches Kara's cheek. "Then I'm glad you're here."

The blush tinging Kara's cheeks makes her want to kiss her, but instead she runs her thumb along Kara's lips. Kara kisses her thumb, and Lena feels it through her body.

"You two," Sam says, breaking the moment. "No wonder everyone here keeps using 'partner' for Kara."

She drops her arm as heat warms her face and neck. "Yeah..." she has no idea how to explain to Sam. She didn't know Sam had noticed that.

"And you two just went with it?" Sam glances at the two of them.

"Um... well," Kara sputters. "I just am following Lena's lead, and uh, it's nice?"

"Just nice, huh?" Lena says as she smiles.

Kara flushes again, the red deeper. "Well, uh, more than that, you know, I mean..." she trails off and rubs her thumb over Lena's palm.

"Red looks good on you," Lena teases.

That earns her Kara's characteristic whine. "Lenaaaa...."

"God, you two are sickening." Sam shakes her head. "Here I am, showing up for my best friend, and you're flirting like teenagers in front of my soup."

"You don't have any soup?" Kara says, confused.

Lena chuckles. Her eyes droop shut, the day catching up to her, and she tugs Kara closer so she can wrap her arms around more of Kara's arm. The warmth seeps through her.

Yes, today marks the start of a new chapter. Lena is glad that Kara and Sam are here to help her write it.

#supercorp #lena luthor #kara danvers #supergirl #supercorptober #karlena #supercorp fic #supercorp fanfic #supercorptober2024 #kara x lena #Hospital stay AU #I drew upon my own experiences for the depiction of the hospital stay #Though I woke in a panic from anesthesia after my surgery so for Lena I used the more typical disoriented response upon waking #This story has evolved far beyond what I'd originally planned but that's okay :)#Also I had so much fun with the book metaphors

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ifitmeanslosingyouthenno · 3 months ago

Text

au in which nathaniel is married to riko

okay so

in this universe there's no mafia, the moriyamas are just filthy rich businessmen, but nathan still is a serial killer

things go a bit different in the sense that nathan kills mary when neil is 10 bc he loses his temper and keeps neil practically captive in that house, torturing him endlessly until nathan slips up and somehow the fbi finds the evidence they need to raid the house when neil is idk 15 ish and they end up killing nathan and neil is sent to foster care

he doesn't have as bad a time in foster care as andrew did, some parents like slapping him around, but some are genuinely nice people

ultimately tho he's not adopted by anyone by the time he turns 18 (he tells himself he doesn't mind, who would want a damaged and quiet and sketchy and flighty kid in their family anyway?)

he's left on his own, to figure out how to be a real person, an adult, with no home, no place to stay, no friends, no family, nothing but himself

he goes through a few years where he just lives on the streets, spending the little money he has left on food, going to shelters when he can, traveling through states until he gets to new york

he's attacked and harassed by some guy at some point outside a bar or something and he's so dazed he cant even fight back, but someone fights back for him

and its riko moriyama, famous fucking exy star and professional athlete

he saves neil and he takes him to his place, where he lets him stay and recover and hey, he's actually kind of sweet, and he really cares about neil, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad to stay with him? and when riko kisses him the first time maybe its not so bad? and maybe when they start dating he's incredibly loving and he gives him gifts and it's the happiest neil has been? and maybe when riko proposes neil says yes and they get married and they're happy? genuinely happy for once?

except that at some point, the love becomes anger, the sweet gestures become punches, the care becomes jealousy and control and pain, and what was the best thing in neils life becomes a nightmare once more

(and maybe he blames himself, maybe its neil thats the problem, maybe its him who brings out the worst in people, maybe he's doomed to this cycle of abuse)

its not until riko beats neil withing an inch of his life that neil runs

OH SHIT WAIT LMAO I FORGOT TO SAY

neil doesn't actually go by neil throughout all of this, he still goes by nathaniel, his legal name, nathaniel wesninski is married to riko moriyama not neil josten

so neil runs and runs and runs with what little money he could steal from riko and he adopts neil josten's identity until he physically cannot keep going

luckily for him, his collapse happens far enough, all the way in seattle in the same pharmacy that medical intern aaron minyard was buying some supplies

so yeah aaron freaks out and almost calls an ambulance but neil stops him bc he's scared bc riko might not have mafia connections in this universe but he has so much fucking money

and it takes aaron and katelyn and abby on the phone for them to fix a heavily beat up neil who should definitely go to the hospital but this is the best they can do

(aaron just assumes he's homeless, and he cant pay the hospital, and he's a fucking softie deep inside so he does everything he can to help how he can)

and maybe when kate catches neil sneaking out one night, she does everything to stop him and offers him safety and maybe the exchange some truths, maybe kate guesses that neil had someone that abused him, maybe someone he loved and neil is scared and he doesn't feel like he can trust anyone but something about kate makes him break down and tell her what he can while making sure he doesn't reveal much

and im taking too long but basically aaron and kate take neil in and they introduce him to the foxes and to the legendary kevin day and andrew minyard, professional exy players for the seattle exy team

and well it takes time and lots of trust before neil lets himself open up again

but its in the form of andrew minyard and the way they can both respect each others boundaries, and neil tells andrew about nathan, but never reveals the truth about being married or anything about riko moriyama

until andrew asks neil to marry him and well

it all goes to shit lol

neil cant bring himself to tell andrew the truth and it all becomes a mess and andrew breaks things up and neil becomes a mess as well

(bc its true, it's on him, its always on him and god he never learns, he never fucking learns, he doesn't fucking get happy endings, he doesn't fucking get good things)

and he tries to leave aaron and kate's place again, and he's successful this time and he's on his way out of seattle when he stops by a gas station to get some food and he has no idea of where he's going and he hesitates for a while, until he catches the eye of andrew on his car outside, and andrew just looks away and leaves and-

and if neil was hesitating before he's sure now and he has to leave for good and he has to leave and get away and never come back and

and he runs right into riko moriyama as he's leaving the store

to be continued maybe??

part 2

#aftg #neil josten #all for the game #aftg fic #andrew minyard #andreil #aftg au #riko moriyama #aaron minyard #katelyn mackenzie

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crimeronan · 22 days ago

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Camila’s “Oh god I need to get Luz to see a doctor” vs her “Oh god how do I fend off news reporters and the police if someone asks questions about how my not-actually-dead daughter who has been missing for 13 years is alive” Fight

The circumstances for this to happen might be a little bit of a stretch but Do you think there’s a world out there where Hunter gets REALLY accusatory about Camila wanting Luz to see a doctor to the point that Camila would have to say like “Hey, I’m sorry for being pushy. This is a bit of a sore subject for me. My husband passed away from an illness he had been fighting for a while. We didn’t catch it fast enough to get the treatment he needed,” and Hunter immediately panics about “Does Luz have it? Whatever made your husband sick, Does Luz Have It???”

OUGH.

i've always imagined that manny died of cancer, simply because i Think that's the most common type of long-term illness that kills people in their 30s/40s..... camila explaining that no, she doesn't think luz is sick Right Now, but cancer can run in families so it's important to see a doctor regularly....

and if i'm gonna be extremely self-indulgent, i could also see manny having passed from some kind of autoimmune disease, since that's the other big category of Thing That Kills You that frequently targets younger people. and that tends to have an even more immediate and pressing genetic component than cancer. i won't say it's fully AU canon, bc i think if it WAS, then camila would be even more worried about luz's neurological health than she already is, but...... food 4 me.

as for the logistics of camila getting luz to a doctor.... YEAH. i was thinking about how one of the Biggest complications is that camila can't, like, feasibly say this is luz. at least without sparking a million questions. if she had any outside help with getting vee a legal identity then i imagine she'd turn to them for resources.... because good god. The Complication.

#'hi i have an undocumented minor with me who has very clearly experienced extreme medical neglect and child abuse. dont call the cops'#is a non-starter. FJSJDJDJ. understandably so!! please do inquire further about the undocumented minor's situation!!!#but similarly 'this is my supposedly-dead daughter.... who had clearly experienced extreme medical neglect and child abuse....'#ALSO A NON-STARTER. FINDING HUMAN DOCTORS IS HARD.#replies #toh #princess luz au #camila noceda #cancer #autoimmune tag #death #horrible mindscape trauma pals

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imthepunchlord · 22 days ago

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Just wondering, how do you feel about Marinette keeping Gabriel's identity a secret from Adrien in the S5 finale of Miraculous?

Be mindful, I didn't watch it, so I'm answering with limited details that's just based around what I've gathered from hearing and seeing from the fandom.

And I will give it, I do think that is something Marinette would do. She is someone who has a history of doing things for others for their own happiness, like her cheating to help Nino in Anansi, or her stealing Alya's phone to rerecord a video she accidentally deleted a video recording of Ladybug.

I can see her thinking that she shouldn't tell Adrien this, that this would upset him. She's paid attention to him for 5 whole seasons, she knows how much he loves his dad. So the choice I feel is in character.

But I do hate that she's even in that position at all.

I hate that Adrien's in a position of never being involved in his own plot.

Seriously, what's the point of him being the son of Hawk Moth if he's never going to be in conflict with his dad? If he's never going to find out? We got all that built up angst and no pay off. It feels like we had our time wasted with Adrien being the son of HM. They did nothing with it.

And it's bonkers as you can do something with it.

You got your angst options:

Adrien is going to fully commit to being a hero he was chosen to be and him and his father will be enemies

Gabriel reveals to him what he's trying to do, and Adrien now has a chance to have his mom back, and he joins his father

You got your hopeful Agreste family option: take the route that the movie did, Gabriel realized his son is Chat Noir and he's like, oh no, I can't hurt my own son. And so he stops. Technically happy ending but they're going to need some family therapy.

And you got your comedic route, playing off that HM is meant to be a campy villain instead of a serious one: Adrien finds out, and he just doesn't know what to do, so he doesn't do anything but try to appeal to his father's goodness, just as Gabriel is trying to appeal to Adrien to join him. But neither of them get anywhere, and it delves into them getting passive aggressive with each other, especially as for once, Adrien has some power in this household as he can out his dad's the villain. Adrien drops little hints about his dad not being so great or toes the line of making the Agrestes look bad, and Gabriel starts sending akumas out during major tests or when Adrien has plans to hang out with friends. And they just proceed to annoy each other until it escalates outside family.

And look. That's four options on what they could've done with Adrien finding out his dad is HM. Mindful, some of these do mean they needed to pick a lane with Gabriel, on what sort of villain he is, does he love his son or not; but defining Gabriel as a character would've been better for the show.

#ask Punchie #ml salt

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vasito-de-leche · 8 months ago

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hi hello!!! I’ve been reading your Horropedia stuff and oh my goD the way you write him fills my itty bitty heart with glee- would it be alright if I asked for a character analysis on him? I’d love to hear your thoughts on him!! ༄⋆｡˚✵ ໒꒰ྀི ⸝⸝´ ꒳ `⸝⸝ ꒱ྀི১

;R1999 HORROPEDIA - General Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons and analysis on Horropedia as a character and other related things.

TYSM! I'm very happy that you like my horropi posts! my horroposting!!

I don't know much about the horror genre or horror culture because I get scared very very easily so I don't watch many horror movies, but I'll do my best to deliver a good analysis of our boy o7

On the subject of horror, ableism and neurodivergency.

It goes without saying that Horropedia's character revolves around the horror genre. In this bullet point, I'm not aiming to list every single reference to movies or horror culture, but to tackle his relationship with it and how it gives further context into his personality--as well as how his heavily implied neurodivergency is meant to bring focus into the ableist ideals and practices within the St. Pavlov Foundation.

The very first part of Horropedia's storyboard and his 01 Story explains the origin for his love of horror AND affinity for tinkering with technology: his adoptive grandfather, described as a failed researcher and forgotten horror novelist.

In these excerpts, it is VERY clear that Horropedia and his grandfather loved each other despite the poor living conditions. This aspect of community and family, as well as a strong sense of self and individuality is very important, because it goes against EVERYTHING that the Foundation stands for.

Compare the "role models" of the Foundation with the "troublemakers"--on one hand, we have Sonetto and Matilda. On the other, we have Vertin and Horropedia. All four act as parallels and foils of each other in this aspect. I think everyone is more familiar with Sonetto and Vertin, so I'll begin with them to make this whole tangent easier to digest!

Both characters are direct opposites of each other, but their origins are similar: neither of them has any sort of strong ties to the outside world. Sonetto does not know about her biological family. Vertin was the youngest arcanist to join the Foundation, and vaguely remembers her mother. The key difference is that Sonetto hasn't shown any interest in finding about her biological family, adapting perfectly to the model that the Foundation aims to instill into their students--whereas Vertin's character focuses a lot on loneliness, on finding a community. Because Sonetto lacks this support, this solid ground in which she could cultivate her own identity separate to her martyr and obedient dog role, she's considered the best of the best. And because Vertin keeps stepping out of these ideals and strict guidelines, clinging onto her own sense of self and individuality, she's considered a troublemaker.

Now, let's focus on Matilda and Horropedia. Unlike the previous examples, these two HAVE families outside of the Foundation--which are a very important part of their lives--and it's implied that both of them chose to join the Foundation, unlike Sonetto and Vertin who had no choice.

We already discussed Horropedia's grandfather. When it comes to Matilda, it's stated in one of her Stories that the only way for her busy parents to show affection and give her the time of day is through academic success, which explains why she's so hellbent on being the best. Family is very important to both of these characters. Both of these characters also suffer within the Foundation because they have strong identities and lives that the Foundation does not agree with. In Chapter 03 "Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien," the very first stage shows the way Matilda, the newest student in class, is immediately put down by the rest of the class.

In this context, Matilda is being cast aside and ridiculed because her knowledge (of arcanist origin, coming directly from her grandfather) and her inability to give proof (note how mankind considers knowledge discovered or passed down between arcanists as "inferior," as seen in 1.3 "Journey to Mor Pankh", because they cannot verify it themselves).

How does this relate to Horropedia?

Well. The second part of his Storyboard shows the connection I'm trying to make.

Horropedia went through a similar experience. Both he and Matilda were ostracized by their peers because they didn't neatly fit in within the perfect model of a Foundation arcanist. We even see that he had to abandon his love for horror, instead "blending into the quiet campus." Their uniqueness, their history was slowly washed away.

So what is the difference between the two? How are they parallels and foils of each other? The difference is that Matilda, like Sonetto, was assimilated into the Foundation's ideals, whereas Horropedia was able to break free and retain his sense of self. The things he loved, the things that made him himself.

His Monologue voice line expresses this sentiment perfectly:

We all experienced the past where we were denied, distressed, and lost. That beautiful building, the white cradle, cut off all the "inconsistent" parts from us, in order to shape us into a "better" self … All in all, I am relieved that I am still me, and you are still you.

We see time and time again throughout the main story and sprinkled throughout other events, the Foundation is an organization that advocates for order and peace--something that they believe can only be achieved through the assimilation (or taming) of arcanists. They are written in a very specific way that shows how oppressive they can be to every single minority, not just related to neurodivergency. It's intersectional oppression.

It's just like horror.

Horror as a genre has an undeniable connection with communities such as POC, LGTBQ+ or neurodivergent and disabled people. Or just women in general! These groups have been demonized in one way or another in these movies. At some point, we have seen caricatures of people like us used to scare the masses.

...And in some cases, we've reclaimed certain aspects of it. Take one of the latest movies for example, "Lisa Frankenstein", or an older piece of media such as "Carmilla," a book that might be the origin of the predatory lesbian stereotype.

To me, it makes a LOT of sense that a character so heavily coded to be autistic or neurodivergent has a hyperfixation as loaded as horror. Fundamentally, Joshua and horror should not go together--because his Medium is "Logic," which contradicts the whole nonsensical and fantastical aspect of the horror genre. This is the subject of his interview with Pandora Wilson, actually!

In here, he explains how horror has its own set of rules and guidelines, a "rigorous internal logic" as he puts it, which allows anyone to survive--as long as they understand how horror movies work. We see this aspect of him in action during the 1.2 event, many many times! We see the way he interprets it, how it relates to his way of thinking and his life, how he embodies horror as part of his life--it's in his chosen nickname, Horropedia--it all falls into place rather nicely!

Horror can only make sense if you take the time to study the laws that govern it, when you pay attention to the details.

A lot of the discussion surrounding Horropedia is obviously about his hyperfixation with horror, how he would act in a slasher movie, if he would make fun of certain tropes and this and that... Which is fair! That IS the whole point of his character!

But I hope I was able to emphasize just how meaningful his connection to the genre is. It goes beyond a classic hyperfixation that could wear off in the future. Just note the description for his i2 Garment "Screamism":

A little monster under the sheets and a steadfast guardian of the heart.

Details and things I had no idea where to fit in that first bullet point.

I hope these analysis and this entire blog gave away the fact that I'm also extremely neurodivergent and my special interest is overanalyzing things to an insane degree. These are the details that I HAVE to share with others or I'll explode, but I don't know where exactly fit them in the previous bullet point.

Related to this whole discussion about horror, ableism and neurodivergency. Horropedia's Night voice line mentions "The Man in the Frame."

Fine. I've always considered "The Man in the Frame" to be a conventional horror story. But when I myself stay in a frame … I finally realized it's really horrific.

I discussed this voice line with some people and some interpret this as a reference to the way characters in the main screen can turn into paintings. However, I believe this is a reference to the neat, little mold that the Foundation and the School of Discipline insist on using to raise their arcanists.

"The Man in the Frame" is a Russian animated short by Fyodor Khitruk, which you can actually watch here on Youtube--it's only 10 minutes and it's very interesting! I actually watched it to understand what Horropedia was referring to.

For those who don't have time for it, the short follows a man living within a frame and the different phases of his life. At first, it's a simple rectangle, four black lines caging him--when he falls in love, he gets out of this frame, but returns to it. Each phase shows him slowly working to "better" his frame, so it's more elaborate and ornate like those coworkers with higher positions. Until he refuses to step out of this frame, now at the top, even turning a blind eye to the suffering of others who ask for help, ordering everything to be put within more and more frames, his own becoming more and more claustrophobic until there's nothing left of him.

Of course Horropedia finds this story terrifying now that he understands what it's like to be suffocated by conventional and strict rules.

In this same vein, I want to talk about the fact that every character (except Tooth Fairy, since we don't know her real first name) in the 1.2 update has a name that starts with J--Jennifer, Jessica and Joshua.

Horropedia's name is said to reference a movie named "Joshua" from 2007. I'm not going to watch this movie because its premise sounds scary to me and I would like to sleep tonight, BUT the poster for this movie is relevant to the discussion of "The Man in the Frame".

If someone has seen this movie and would like to add their two cents about it and how it might relate to Horropedia, please, by all means! I would love to hear what you have to say!

Next thing I couldn't fit in: Horropedia's items.

A character's items are meant to give us a little more insight into their lives and important aspects that the game wants to highlight about them. If you've read my previous analysis of Dikke and Tennant, then you know what I'm taking about. One of Horropedia's item stands out to me.

His glasses allude to his fanatism and devotion to his interests. His gadget set alludes to his logical side and intellect, the technology that his grandfather taught him. But what about the green tie clip? There is nothing outstanding nor worth noting about this clip, other than the fact that it's green.

Why does it matter that it's green? Because green is Horropedia's color.

It is the main representative color in his design, the one that pops up the most in his i2 Garment and sprites, the color of his shirt and monster slippers, the color of slime and ooze from horror movie's practical effects, the color of the entire 1.2 event. It is the color that, in this case, represents the aspect of horror.

It's the color you see once you understand Horropedia more (by raising his level and insight) and the color that is subdued and hidden by default in his regular sprite, only seen in very specific areas as shown below.

Perhaps this is an extrapolation on my part, I'm willing to accept that if it's ever confirmed, but with the amount of detail given to each character and their items, I think it makes sense for this simple, green tie clip to mean much more than "oh hey, Horropedia wears tie clips!" the same way Tennant's third item is a direct display of how much New Delhi meant to her despite the lies she tells in her voice lines.

Note the first phrase Pandora Wilson uses to describe this item: "A green line cuts through a black-and-white checkered world." To me, this alludes to Horropedia being an outlier within the Foundation, as someone who fought the system and remained true to himself despite everything.

He is the green line that cuts through this checkered world, everyone knows him and his eccentric nature, he fully embraces his status as a problem child and even gives Jessica tips on how to avoid being brainwashed by the School of Discipline in her own event.

The next and final part of this bullet point is more of a personal observation?

I've seen a lot of people focus on the fact that Horropedia would poke fun at every single horror trope because "they're too predictable" and I feel like this is not quite right? Yes, he plays the role of That One Guy who is very aware of the sort of movie he's in, who serves mostly to explain horror tropes to the audience and be self-aware or joke about how certain aspects make no sense when we think logically (outside of the context of horror) about them. But we also see how serious and eager he is during the whole 1.2 event. And tropes exist because they work, because they are part of the formula in each genre. Being able to spot a trope does not mean that the media you're consuming is bad, it's just something that you were able to pick up on because it's part of the genre.

From my understanding, shock value and surprises are part of horror. That's why we have these twists at the end, like the reveal of a killer who survived being killed by the protagonists. Yes, Horropedia DOES mention that jumpscares are outdated, but we understand jumpscares as a cheap and fast way to scare people by catching them off guard, like Five Nights at Freddy's for example. But the element of surprise is still important, it's just something that this cheap tactic and actual horror share.

Logically, horror makes no sense because there's no way for a zombie apocalypse to happen, or for ghosts to haunt you and so on and so forth. This is why we suspend our belief, to fully immerse ourselves in the worlds being presented to us--one must understand the logic within the context of these movies, rather than apply outside logic to it.

This is a really long tangent just to say that Horropedia wouldn't exactly be the type of guy to engage in horror with such bad faith interpretations or opinions, since his To The Future voice line does focus on the impossible, the surprises that the future might bring. Expect the unexpected, as he says!

Future, future, hmm … Our future slides back to the past. What else would be impossible then? Perhaps that blondie would accept an award on the stage of any film festival, or the lame horror novels written by my grandpa would win the Nobel Prize in Literature, haha … I mean, you can always expect the unexpected, my friends!

There is also the fact that his Inheritance Skill is LITERALLY named "Jump Scare," because even though it's an outdated practice, it requires a lot of redirection--to ease the viewer into a false sense of safety only to hit them with the real thing, which fits the way Horropedia's Incantations work! He shoots randomly or with his eyes closed and his shots are redirected to the enemy! It's like his Ultimate description says:

With that, I think I got everything off my chest and out of my brain. Sadly, I don't think I have many headcanons that I could ramble about without making this post longer than it should be?

I guess I like to think Horropedia is left-handed and wears his accesories on reverse to throw people off, if that counts? I also like to think that he just naturally assigns a piece of horror media that he knows to everyone he knows in his brain, and that's how he knows them as or remembers them. Oh! I also think he could figure out the plot of FNAF if he wanted!

#reverse 1999 #reverse: 1999 #reverse 1999 horropedia #horropedia #i blacked out for 3 hours to write this #almost 4 actually #i love him can you tell

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