#‘yes it’s because he’s never lain with a woman’

[vi-visected]

so, okay.

i’ve been thinking about this for a little bit. i’ve seen a lot of headcanons for aroace leon and i love them but he’s actually not the first character i would’ve headcanoned as asexual.

for me, that would have been lancelot.

hear me out, so in original arthurian legends (i think specifically in the once and future king) lancelot believes his power comes from his purity (aka virginity). the whole reason he thinks he’s The Best Knight is because he’s never had sex.

so onto the Fun of the headcanon, i think (in the merlin version) this is still a thing but NOT because of lancelot.

the knights start hearing these rumors about that “Sir Lancelot is unable to be bested in combat because of his purity” and at first they’re like “Lancelot’s a virgin?” immediately followed by “Lancelot’s a good swordsman because he’s a virgin???”

and they confront him about it and he spends so long losing his shit laughing that they start to get concerned and finally, wiping tears out of his eyes, struggles through an explanation that he’d turned down one too many maidens that they’d started making up justifications for it and he let them because the truth was nobody’s business. he honestly is just Not interested in sex and never has been. but the rumors are fun, so no need to dispel them.

[potatoplace]

my tears ricochet

Azriel x Reader, Azriel x Elain

loml (part one)

Story Summary: Azriel meeting you, his mate, throws a wrench in all of his plans, nearly a decade in the making with Elain. He begins his mateship with you, still with Elain all the while telling you that you are the love of his life. But, not every good thing can last.

Warnings: Suicide (more graphic than first chapter imo), heavy angst, alcoholism, infidelity, sex

Words: ~6.2k

Author's Note: and here's the second part, now I have to warn you, the first one didn't make me cry at all. But this one? I was sobbing like Feyre and Az, typing through my tears. Thank you for all of the love you guys showed to loml, it means so much to me to see every comment and note. I hope you all enjoy the final part!

p.s. I almost named it Last Kiss. Taylor is just perfect for angst, I tell ya

18+ only pls

💙🤍💙🩷💙

The wind was rushing through his hair, cooling his body, slightly calming him. But his heart was still racing, his mind panicked.

His mate. He had finally met his mate.

But Elain… they had just started discussing the possibility of having children. And nearly ten years together, ten years of love and comfort.

He’d known this was a possibility, he had just thought it would never happen. That the Mother had made a mistake in not mating him to Elain. But now, that wasn’t true. It wasn’t the love of his life, his sweet, perfect Elain, it was some random woman in the streets of Velaris. Beautiful, yes, but she didn’t hold a flame to Elain’s beauty. Her scent however… a refreshing blend of apples and autumn rain, so overpowering he could hardly smell the air rushing past him, even this far away from her.

He needed to tell Elain. He had to tell her, before he did anything stupid, like turning around and finding the female he had just abandoned in the streets.

They’d discussed what might happen if he ever found his mate, and the possibility of it was why Elain has yet to fully reject the bond with Lucien, though as far as Azriel was aware, the two only saw each other at holiday parties and the occasional family dinner that Lucien attended. They’d decided that if he did find his mate, he would come immediately to Elain and they would talk it through.

So, he flew straight to the townhouse, landing next to Elain where she was kneeling on the grass, tending to her flower garden. “‘Lain,” he started, the tension in his voice causing her to stand up and look at him instantly. “I… I found my mate,” he said, regretting that he even had to say the words.

Tears filled her eyes, and he put his hands on her shoulders reassuringly. “All I did was see her in the street, baby. I left right after and I’m here now.”

Still, she shook her head. “I cannot believe this Azriel. Now?! Now that we’ve decided to try for a family, that’s when you find your mate? This is ridiculous!” Elain vented, and it was truly one of the first times Azriel had seen her angry.

“I know, and I’m so sorry. I wish I would never have seen her, I only love you.”

“You don’t know that you wouldn’t love her,” Elain scoffed. “But you have a decision to make. Are you going to reject the bond.”

Azriel opened his mouth, not quite believing how bold Elain was being. “I don’t know. That’s not exactly a decision to make lightly, Elain. You know that.”

“Oh, really? This again? Just because I haven’t rejected Lucien doesn’t mean that you don’t have to make a decision, Azriel.”

Azriel raised an eyebrow at her, shocked by her hypocrisy. “Then you have one to make as well, Elain. Lucien or I? Which will it be?” Elain opened her mouth for a moment, then closed it. “Exactly. It’s not as easy as you thought, is it?”

Elain sighed, her shoulders slumping forward. “Fine. You can get to know her, if you’d like. But the moment you want it to turn to something more, come find me again. Until then… let’s just continue as normal,” she suggested, pushing up on her tip-toes to give Azriel a kiss on the lips before scrunching her nose. “Ugh, I can smell her on you. Let’s go take a bath, hmm?” She led Azriel by the hand to her room, undressing him as she pushed him towards the bathroom.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

It was two weeks later, and Azriel had prepared himself enough mentally to seek out his mate. It didn’t take long, seeing as two of his shadows had followed her back to her home, reporting to him that she had spent the past fortnight crying herself to sleep and barely leaving the house except for her work.

He flew over to her house, an adorable one bedroom that had a nice porch on the front, and a stained glass door depicting the season of autumn, leaves changing color as they fall from a tree and landing in a pile at the bottom. The pale orange paint on the exterior was faded slightly, chipping away in places, but besides that the home looked well cared for.

He steeled himself, then walked towards that beautiful door, knocking carefully on its surface. It was time to get to know his mate.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

3 Months Later

Elain stared at him, obviously not believing what Azriel just told her as they stood in their shared bedroom.

“You want to be with her?”

Azriel sighed. Truly, he wanted both females to stay in his life, but that was impossibility. “Yes, Elain. I’ve… I’ve fallen for her, over the past few months.”

Elain hissed, her outrage making itself known. “A few months?!” She screeched at him. “You’re going to throw away a decade over a few months?!”

“I’m not… I’m not throwing it away, Elain, this is something I have to do. She’s my mate,” he sighed. He didn’t want to argue with her. “I don’t want you to leave my life, either. But the connection between us… it’s always there. I can feel her all the time, Elain, and I don’t want to do you a disservice by being unfaithful to you in my heart.”

Elain, who up until this point had been glaring at him, looked off into the distance, contemplating.

“So, don’t leave my life,” she stated plainly.

“I… what?” Azriel asked in disbelief.

“Stay in my life, stay with me, and you can have your little mate. Just as long as you know that you come home to me after missions, after anything important. I take precedence over her. And she won’t be welcome at any family gatherings. If they ask about her, say that she’s better suited as a friend.”

She said it all as if it was simple, as if it made sense. So Azriel believed her.

Because that way, he could have the female he’d loved for so long, and he could also have his mate.

It was truly the best of both worlds.

“Alright, Elain. That’s a fair enough deal. Are you sure you’ll be able to handle it?” He asked, prowling towards her and grabbing her by the waist.

“Oh, Azzie, I promise I’ll be fine with it. Do I love that you might fuck another female? No, but as long as I can send you to her covered in my scent, I’ll be fine,” Elain purred, running a hand up his chest.

“Oh?” Azriel smirked down at her, taking her face in his hand. “And how will you do that?” He breathed in her ear, kissing her neck gently.

“I have a few ways. Come to the bed and I’ll show you, Azzie.”

Matching grins covered their faces as Azriel picked her up and tossed her gently on the bed.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would tell Y/N that he wanted to be serious.

Tonight, however… tonight he would spend worshipping Elain’s body like the goddess she is deserves.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

5 Years Later

Shit, Azriel thought to himself. Shit shit shit.

He was late. So, very late.

Elain had wanted him to spend the night together, but it was his and Y/N’s fifth anniversary the next morning.

So, he’d left in the middle of the night after his mate’s breathing had evened out, flying off in the direction of the town house. He landed in front of a simpering Elain, obviously pleased with how the night was playing out.

They had spent the night wrapped in each other, falling asleep under the sheets together as the new day dawned upon them.

Azriel had, of course, planned ahead for the possibility of sleeping in a bit too long to return home before his mate awoken, a bouquet of roses, sapphire blue for him and a pale yellow for his sweet, sunshiney mate, and love note on the nightstand. He’d also left out a coffee and book he’d spent an agonizing amount of time convincing his mate’s favorite author to give him in advance of the commercial release on the kitchen counter. He hadn’t thought that he’d be so late though, the sun having risen nearly to the halfway point in the sky.

He only hoped his mate wouldn’t scent Elain’s arousal, still mixed heavily with his scent. She had never said anything in the past, and he believed she wouldn’t now.

With the speed he was flying towards her house, most of it should be whisked off of him by the time he reached her.

Once he landed, he made sure to take a moment to collect himself, taking a deep breath before pushing the door open, greeted by his mate’s lovely scent, coming from the window seat to the right of the door.

You ran to him, and he greeted you with his arms first, the weight of you so perfect in his arms, as though the two of you were carved out of the same flesh, finally put back together for the moment.

The day was perfect, ending with the two of you snuggled together in bed.

The dagger you had gifted him was perfect, ornate enough to be worn on his belt during ceremonies, and the curved blade had fascinated him at first. He realized that you had meant it more as a way to keep you with him on his missions, rather than to do much killing. Though, it would make some wicked stab wounds, possibly helpful in interrogations. However, he didn’t think he could bear using something so precious as a gift from you during the… messier parts of his occupation.

Nonetheless, it was a perfect, thoughtful gift, and he loved it, loved you so deeply.

He sighed.

It was nights like these when his conscious kicked in, reminding him of the traitorous double life he was living. Sure, Elain was well aware of the situation, maybe not of the depth of his emotions towards you, but that wasn’t something she needed to know.

You, however… you were completely in the dark, unaware that the best friend he went on about is really his life partner of a decade and a half.

He felt so guilty, but he didn’t know how to stop, with either one of you. Elain, they had so much history and you, well, you are his mate, the person the Mother had made just for him.

He breathed in your scent, his mind relaxing as he did so. Azriel reminded himself that he still had six years left before he needed to make a true decision between the two perfect females.

Six years didn’t feel like near enough time, it felt almost cruel that he had to limit himself to a decade until he made a decision about the mating bond. He supposed Elain didn’t know that detail, either.

And now that you wanted to meet his family… well. That decision may end up coming sooner rather than later.

It all depended on how he swung it.

He knew that Elain would be difficult to convince, but he believed he would be able to. His plan was to inform the family to not make any comments about his and Elain’s relationship, and tell them that you knew about them but are still very sensitive to the subject, preferring to avoid it overall. They already knew that the you and Azriel are “friends,” Azriel having been unable to keep you a complete secret from his nosy family.

Azriel had to make it happen, or you would know something is off.

He was lucky, all things considered, that you had waited five years to ask to meet his family.

The next morning after a nice lie-in with you, he took off for the townhouse, ready to rip the gauze off. He approached Elain, in the gardens as she normally was this time of day, working on the garden before the heat climbed up too high.

“Elain, can we talk in our room?” He asked her, relieved when she followed him without question.

“What is it?” She questioned, knowing he was here with a purpose.

“Y/N wants to meet the family.”

Elain immediately started to shake her head, infuriated by the idea. “No. No, Azriel! We agreed that she would not enter our lives before you started this, that won’t change now.”

“Baby, it would just be one dinner, I will tell her not to show any affection towards me, and her curiosity will be satisfied, I promise.”

Elain thought about it for a moment, her face still pinched in anger, before it relaxed in resignation. “If this dinner is to happen, you will fuck me in this very room while she sits in the living room. If not, my answer is no, Azriel.”

Azriel considered it, the nodded, knowing it was his only way forward. And, he couldn’t deny that the thought of fucking Elain with you in the next room excited him, the riskiness of it so tempting.

“Then, inform the rest of the family. Tell them whatever you need to to keep your silly little relationship with your mate a secret. I will not be embarrassed by this, Azriel,” Elain warned, a danger in her eyes.

“Thank you, Elain.” He moved in towards her, and whispered lowly in her ear, “The sex we will have in here on that night will rival every other time we’ve been together, baby.” A shiver ran down Elain’s spine, and she wrapped her arms around him.

“It better, Azzie. Otherwise I just might crush her heart myself,” She said in a sweet tone, but Azriel took it as the threat it was.

Still, as long as everything went to plan, he will keep his two females as his, for years to come.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

The dinner went perfectly, Y/N feeling insecure, while it pained him, truly worked out for the better. The less comfortable that first meeting had felt, the less likely she was to insist on attending another family dinner.

Over the next few months, he could tell you were preparing something, most likely some kind of surprise for his birthday. Every year, you outdid yourself. When he was in town- or rather, not with Elain- you would wake him up with his favorite pastries from his favorite café, or his favorite dish from Kalia’s, a wonderful little breakfast restaurant located along the Sidra. And every year, you gave him a different custom made item, from the spider silk gloves that were fire and tear proof to the fortified, comfortable boots that he wore to this day.

During that time as well, Elain was becoming bolder with her requests of his time, drawing him away most nights after you fell asleep, only to return a few hours later, slipping back into your bed with jasmine and honey coating his senses.

That didn’t matter though, not when he was more enamored with you than ever. You were so kind, so focused on his happiness, he hardly deserved the honor of being your mate. The guilt of the situation had been weighing on him heavily, especially when he had felt you measuring his ring finger while you believed him to be dead asleep.

He was nearly ready to cut things off with Elain, her attitude as of late was bitter and angry, and while he avoided bringing you up around her, every time he did she said something condescending about you. The only problem was their history with each other, so many years that they had been together, and realized that he would be throwing it away, there was no way that Elain would ever be fine only being his friend, and seeing you near her family. He honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Elain attempted to take your life, her hatred of you ran that deeply.

He’d realized things were getting to dangerous territory when you had come back to your house, gushing to Azriel about how you and Elain might be becoming friends, and how you could see why Azriel liked her so much, she’s just so nice.

It was the day before his birthday now, and he had just returned to your home when you burst through the doors, bags filling your arms.

“Azriel!” You exclaimed, quickly walking over to the counter to deposit the bags, then made your way to your mate. You leaned up, capturing his lips in a tender kiss. “Listen, I know this will sound a little weird, but I’d like you to stay at your spare room in the townhouse tonight, if you’re willing. I want to set up a little surprise for you here,” you tell him, a smile gracing your face, and a matching expression lit up his face. “I’ll come get you in the morning, around 9 if that sounds reasonable to you?”

“Of course, babydoll,” he replied, claiming your mouth again in kiss more heated than the last. “Do I have to leave at this very moment?”

You hummed, your body relaxing against him as he kissed down your neck. “No, not yet, mate. You can stick around for a while.”

“Hmm, so I can take my sweet, thoughtful mate into our bedroom and devour her like the goddess she is?” He asked, already lifting you by your ass, and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his hips.

“I’d love that, Az,” you say, peppering kisses along his jawline as he carried you to the bed.

He left a few hours later, walking back to the townhouse at a slow pace, reminiscing on the feeling of your skin and soft sighs, how much he was looking forward to whatever you’re planning for tomorrow.

He entered the townhouse a few minutes later, breezing into his room that he shares with Elain. She was inside, already naked on the bed and touching herself.

“Oh, Azzie, I’m so glad you could make it,” she said, pouncing towards him the moment the door snicked shut behind him. Once she reached him, though, she wrinkled her nose. “Let’s go get you in the bath, Azzie, I don’t want to kiss you while you smell so gross.” Elain pushed him towards the bath, where they spent a good hour basking in each other’s presence before making their way to the bed. They remained there until dinner, getting a quick meal from the kitchen before returning to the haven.

The night passed quickly, and Elain woke him by sucking his cock to life, the climbing on top of him. She rode him at a slow, torturous pace for a few minutes, before he tired her teasing and flipped her onto her back, continuing their activities, even as the door to their room opened wide, a gasp sounding from the doorway, and Elain’s arms wrapped tighter around his neck, legs wrapping around his hips, pressing his lower half tighter against her.

The scent hit him- autumnal rain and sweet apples- and his blood ran cold. He wanted to run, wanted to explain to you, but the grip of Elain’s heavenly cunt was too much, and he finished inside of her, pulling out as soon as he was able to.

His eyes were wide, he could barely process the situation, he tried to sit up and look at the doorway, but Elain’s grip around his neck was tighter than he expected. She was grinning from ear to ear, looking positively pleased with herself.

“Elain, I need to go talk to her,” he stated frantically, still attempting to pull away from her gently. He could hear her yelling outside, Feyre’s soft voice following it.

“No, you don’t Azriel. She just saw you cheating on her, she’ll want nothing to do with you now,” Elain declared proudly.

Azriel furrowed his brow at her, a sinking feeling in his gut, and he looked at the clock- only 8 in the morning. “Did you know she was going to show up this early?” He questioned, hoping the answer was no. If it was yes…

“Of course, it was my idea to have you stay here last night.” Her voice held no remorse, and Azriel pried her hands from his neck and sat up, moving to the edge of the bed.

He placed his head in his hands, panic overtaking his mind.

His mate… his sweet, kind, caring, attentive mate… had just seen him fucking Elain, her supposed friend. Fuck. This is bad.

He got up, throwing on a pair of leathers as quickly as he could, before Elain’s hand caught his.

“You’re seriously going after her? What the fuck is wrong with you, Azriel?!” She yelled at him, before Feyre’s voice cut through.

“What in the hells is wrong with you, Azriel?! You’re not only cheating on Elain, but Y/N didn’t even know the two of you were together?! How could you do that to your mate?!”

Elain’s anger was one thing, more unsettling than anything else, but Feyre’s? Feyre’s rage was terrifying, and Azriel had the common sense to cower as night coalesced around her.

It was then that he noticed his shadows had left him, and he could still hear them screaming about Y/N from wherever they had ran to.

“Feyre, I know how bad it seems, but I never meant for her to get hurt. And Elain knew about my relationship with her, I wouldn’t have gone ahead with it without her approval,” he said, trying to get the truth out before Feyre eviscerated him.

Elain scoffed, grabbing her nightgown from the floor next to their bed.

Azriel turned to cock a brow at her, daring her to voice whatever was rattling around in her head.

“You should have cut her sorry ass off years ago, Azzie. She’s not worthy of you, she never has been, and she never will be,” Elain spat at him, just as his gut fell through the floor and to the core of the earth.

The bond- the precious, delicate string tying you to him- severed in a single moment.

He dropped to his knees, a wail leaving his body of its own accord, the grief striking him in every nerve ending of his body as your presence left him, as he was left with a gaping hole in his soul that you used to occupy.

“Azriel?�� Feyre called frantically, shaking him by the shoulders, but he could do nothing more than to loose gut wrenching cries of pain at the loss of his mate.

Rhys appeared a moment later, diving into his mind with a gentleness he did not deserve.

“Y/N…” he sighed, a tear rolling down his face. “She’s died.”

“Died?!” Feyre exclaimed. “She was just in the garden fifteen minutes ago, how could she have-?” She cut herself off, realizing exactly what happened. “Rhys, get her address from him.”

He did as she said, and she bolted away, leaving Rhys, Elain, and Azriel in the room.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

Feyre

She sprinted through the streets, making her way to the area that Rhys said your house was located in. It was orange, with a stained glass door according to Azriel’s memories.

Feyre still couldn’t believe what he had done, how he had betrayed his mate.

You was awkward at times, yes, and a little shy, but you were so sweet and it was obvious to Feyre how much you cared for Azriel- obviously not the way you cared for him, but the amount was there, always shining through your actions.

Once Feyre arrived at your house, she stopped to stare at it for a moment. The light orange and pretty stained glass window suited you, calming in nature and gave off a similar presence’s to the autumnal scent you gave off. She prepared herself as she approached the door, taking a few deep breaths before turning the knob.

Feyre still wasn’t prepared for the sight before her.

You were laying in a pool of blood- your blood- and covered in Azriel’s shadows. She rushed forward, and the shadows moved away from your neck, revealing the large gash there. A dagger was in your hands, and Feyre sobbed, pawing at your neck in an attempt to make the bleeding stop somehow, even as she could hear no heartbeat, no breathing coming from your chest.

The wound was hardly seeping anything as it was, but Feyre couldn’t believe it. You didn’t deserve this, you didn’t deserve to leave so alone, so in pain.

Her tears fell on your body, and after a few moments she pulled your head into her lap, and recited the prayer she had learned all that time ago, back in Spring.

“Mother hold you. May you pass through the gates. May you smell that immortal land of milk and honey,” she finished. She whispered a final, added phrase. “May your next life be kinder to you, Y/N.”

Feyre stood, reaching out to Rhys through her mind.

“How is Az?”

Rhys sighed. “He’s not doing well, we haven’t been able to move him or get him to do anything cry cry,” he admitted, worrying in his tone. “How’s… how is Y/N?”

“She’s gone, Rhys. She took her own life,” Feyre cried through the bond. “Can you or Cassian come and help me move her to Madja’s office? We should… we should have her prepared for a funeral as soon as we can.”

“Of course, darling, I’ll send Cassian to help you. I’d like to be with Az in case he needs to be knocked out for his own good.”

Cassian arrived a few agonizing minutes later, and after stumbling into the house, stopped and gasped in horror. “Y/N!” He cried, moving quickly towards where Feyre was stood next to your cooling body.

“I know, Cassian. It’s awful, she didn’t deserve any of this,” Feyre said sadly, wiping the tears from her eyes. “We need to move her, though.”

Cassian nodded and stooped over, collecting your limp body in his arms. The shadows were still gathered around your body, hiding as much of you from view as possible. They shifted just right, though, and Feyre caught sight of the knife belt resting upon your hips, tightened so much that she knew the belt was meant as a gift, having seen the dropped bags outside of Azriel’s door when she went to confront him.

She carefully pulled the belt of off you, noticing that the dagger you had used… matched the ones still secured in the belt.

You had used the gift you most likely intended for Azriel, to end your life. That hurt Feyre’s heart even more.

The two of them walked somberly towards Madja’s office, stares lingering on them and the body covered in shadows and held in Cassian’s arms.

They arrived in a few minutes, and Cassian gently set your body down on a stretcher Madja’s had set up in the back, the shadows still clinging relentlessly to your body, refusing to leave you even in death. Madja’s soft smile greets the both of them when they turn around.

“Rhys told me what happened, he said to prepare the body as soon as possible, is that correct?”

Feyre nodded in agreement, “Yes, just let us know when she is ready for the funeral, please, Madja.

“Of course Feyre. I’ll contact you once it’s done.”

With that, the two left the clinic, heading back toward your home to clean it up as much as they could.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

Azriel

His world was shattered. He watched as your coffin was lowered into the ground only two days after his birthday, the sky bright and sunny, just how you always loved it. But Azriel could barely stand in its rays, so overtaken with grief and rage at himself.

He had found the box among the remains of the presents you dropped at his door when you saw him fucking- he couldn’t even bear to think her name anymore.

The two rings, so perfectly Azriel that it made him sob harder than before.

You had always known exactly how to design something to scream his name, always known what he would prefer to have as a gift.

Azriel had wanted to place the ring made for your fingers on you before you were buried, but he couldn’t bear to sully your… your corpse with his hands.

He also didn’t deserve to have a ring matching one that you wear in your grave, he had betrayed you so thoroughly. So he kept the both of them.

Time passed so slowly now.

It was like the world had stopped moving once you passed, the broken tether to your soul holding him in place, not allowing him to move past the moment of your death.

He left the rings in his nightstand, pulling the box out when the pain became too much to bear. He had purchased your home, finally moving all of his things in, like he should have while you were alive.

Even though your life had ended here, he felt closest to you inside the four walls where your relationship had blossomed, bringing you out of your shy, anxious, and adorable little shell.

Azriel barely left the house anymore, only leaving when his family forced him, or the hunger in his stomach became unbearable enough that he ventured out to your favorite restaurant and ordered your favorite dish, just one more way to get any semblance of closeness to you again.

The first six months since your passing were hell. Absolute hell.

The broken string within him chafed with every breath, only subsiding when he drowned himself in vodka enough that he couldn’t see straight, passing out into an oblivion where you still existed, where his heart still beat your name happily, not in the overwhelming loss that had made it lose its rhythm.

His family had dragged him out tonight into their townhome, insisting that they hadn’t seen him in so long and they needed to get together.

He was feeling an extra pain, today. It was the anniversary of the beginning of your mateship. It would have been the sixth, if you were still here.

So, he strung the two rings on a silver chain, looping it over his head and wearing it over the top of his jacket. With them on, he felt like your presence was with him. One of the few remaining things he owned of you.

Feyre had given him the knife belt a month after your funeral, and he had promptly shoved it into the lowest drawer of the dresser. He knew, he just knew that one of those knives had been the end of you-

But that wasn’t true.

He was the end of you.

Azriel sighed. That train of thought wouldn’t make getting through this night easier. One thing might, however.

He stood up from the couch he was seated on and made his way over to the drink cart, pouring a generous amount of vodka into a crystal glass.

You had commented on the glasses your second dinner here, admiring the way they caught the light.

Tears burned at his eyes, and he downed half of the glass in one gulp, the burn distracting him enough that he didn’t jump when Cassian clapped a hand on Azriel’s shoulder.

“It’s good to see you, brother. Will you be coming to the training ring again soon?” He asked, his tone gentle.

“We’ll see, Cassian,” Azriel answered, the one that he had given Cassian the past four times he had dared to ask the Shadowsinger.

“Okay, hopefully sometime soon. Or we could go out for a meal, just the two of us, hm? Just like the old days when we were stuck here, it could be fun,” Cassian suggested, and Azriel nodded in agreement just to get him to stop asking.

Cassian walked away, and Azriel could see him making a pointed expression at Feyre, probably urging her to come talk to him. He downed the rest of his drink, and poured another of the same amount.

By the time he had sat back down on the couch, Feyre was joining him.

She didn’t say anything, just sat with him as he sipped on his drink, relishing in the burn it carved through him.

They sat like that for a few minutes before Azriel’s left hand crept out, grasping Feyre’s right. The tears that had burned his eyes for six months, six long months of drinking himself to sleep as the tear in his soul grew, consuming him whole, had begun to fall, carving lines into his skin. Feyre’s hand squeezed his, and when he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, she thankfully had her eyes turned away from him, giving him the privacy he needed.

A minute or an hour could have passed before Azriel stood abruptly, making for the front door. He burst through it, tears still streaming down his face as he walked home as quickly as he could, the alcohol doing more to him now that he had lost weight from so many skipped meals. He could hear footsteps behind him, and if he dared enough it bet on anything anymore, he would say it’s Feyre.

She had told him at the funeral how guilty she felt for not realizing that Y/N was a danger to herself, but Azriel had brushed her off, telling her it was no one’s fault but his own.

Azriel knew she still carried it, though.

“I don’t need a minder, Feyre,” he drawled, slowing his pace so she could catch up from where she had been following him at a distance.

“From my eyes, you do Az.”

Her concerned tone made him sigh, the tears flowing even more freely now. He didn’t want to worry anyone, he simply wanted to waste away into nothing.

“I will be fine, Feyre, I promise,” he reassured her once she was at his side, though he didn’t fully believe it himself. “Just go home, go enjoy the dinner everyone has been slaving over for hours, Feyre.”

It was Feyre’s turn to sigh. “Do you promise you’ll eat something tonight?”

Azriel nodded his head.

Another sigh. “I suppose I’ll head back, then. Be safe please, Azriel. We love you. I love you. Remember that, okay?”

Azriel nodding again, swallowing a sob until he couldn’t hear her footsteps anymore. He finally reached your house, opening the beautiful door that you loved so much.

He loved that you’d had it custom made, wanting something to honor your Autumn heritage, so far from home. He closed it, running a hand along its surface.

You had loved everything fiercely, him included, even if he didn’t deserve it in any way.

You had loved your mystery books, your coffee, trying out new blends of tea you had made from herbs you’d grown in your small garden.

Then there were the things about him that you loved. His eyes, his hair. You always loved both of those. His hands… you had never shied away from them, in fact you had pulled them towards you, nuzzling your face into them whenever he was feeling insecure about them. You kissed every inch of them so often, Azriel had begun to love the scars, love the way you were able to make them beautiful.

Now though… he couldn’t think of them as anything but the hands that had sullied you, touching you after touching that other female.

Azriel made his way to the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of vodka and your favorite, sapphire blue mug. He poured the liquid until the mug was nearly overflowing, and knocked back as much of it as he could managed in one go, a few drops trailing down his chin.

He regretted so many things in his life, but the way he had hurt you was the one he wished he could take back, at least trade his life for yours. You deserved to live, with your soft heart and open mind. Not him, with his unfaithfulness and betrayal of the worst degree.

His mate.

His mate!!!

He could hardly believe that six months had passed already, six months since that dreadful day.

Six months since your last kiss.

He could almost picture you now, as he walked into your bedroom. It had been on your bed, you were still naked from the earlier activities the two of you had indulged in. Azriel had just gotten his shirt on, and you made an adorable kissy noise, puckering your lips dramatically to draw him back to you. He hadn’t been able to resist, leaning back down and capturing your lips softly with his, tilting your chin up towards him gently with two fingers. It had been soft, sweet, all that he ever needed for the rest of his life.

But it was the last one. The last one, and he hadn’t even known it at the time.

And it was all. His. Fault.

Azriel sank down onto the bed, taking another large gulp of his drink. It was really kicking in now, he felt almost like he could sleep. Draining the rest of the cup, he placed it on the nightstand and laid down on his side of the bed. If he closed his eyes, he could almost trick himself into thinking you were there, sleeping beside him, almost hear your breathing and heart’s rhythm next to him.

He drifted off while clutching the pair of rings still around his neck, his heart still beating that broken, dying music that still sang your name.

Taglist: @j-pendragonx

[satocidal]

𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳“Skin…what!?” — Toji Fushiguro

A/n: listen, I don’t know. I just know he’s a slimy and cutesy man — inspired from another YouTube video lmao wc: 0.9k

“C’mon, it’s not that bad,” your voice was a whine—a drag, a smile peeking about as your boyfriend turned over slow—a scowl on his face.

“Don’t ya get beggin’ to me ‘bout this shit when you can’t mutter a please when I’m pounding—”

“—Toji!” An embarrassed chuckle you carried, hand moving to slap his—he didn’t bother dodging it, basking in the sound of your laughter. 

“Why’re ya so excited about paintin’ my face with random bull-crap?” 

“S’not bullcrap,” a pout rested on your lips, hands pressing down on him to settle him onto the small chair you used for your vanity table—⅕ of his size, a mental note made to take a picture of him such. 

“It’ll make your skin all nice and glowy—not all the wrinkles you’re gonna get with all that frowning,”

Just as you said so, another frown adorned his face—“y’er Callin’ me old now doll?” It was light hearted in all sense but Toji surely loved how you wasted not a second to plant a kiss on his cheek—reassurance. 

But As it lay, a sweet moment—always ruined by Toji himself, a sharp slap landed on your ass, you narrowed your eyes while he grinned, “don’t waste time and get to it.”

A sharp slap to his chest, a roll of your eyes—“Get up, gotta wash your grimy face,”

“S’not grimy,”

“Sure is,”

“Wash it.”

“Yes ma’am.”

The walk to the bathroom, there on was quick— simple, the water turned on, you watched with a smile as Toji cupped the water and sprawled it across his face messily—“you’ll clean the mess right?” The smile was evident in your face as he grunted—hands reaching out to close the tap, your smile dropped immediately.

“With a soap? Toji?” 

The older man turned once—“you wanna have a shower?”

You stared at him incredulous as did he—“Wash. your. Damn face with a face wash.”

And I assure you, it’s only because the tone of your voice that Toji Fushiguro relented, reaching out for your bottle of face wash, squeezing out an unnecessary amount of product, you let it pass knowing another interruption over this would backfire. 

Another smile you wore as he slowly massaged his face at your commands and glare—

“Slow down,” and typical, “your chin as well,” 

—finally letting the water wash everything away.

“Happy?” He grumbled as you grinned—“here’s the towel for my love—no more of wiping your face with your own shirt weirdo,” you could’ve sworn a slight smile tugged on his lips as he grabbed it from your hands.

“You weirdo,” he muttered under his breath still.

But all was not well still, to your utter horror, there stood Toji, aggressively wiping his face with the towel, at an ungodly speed which you knew wasn’t good.

“Toji!” Another whine, another sigh.

“What now woman?” 

“Go slow, it’s your face, not some body you gotta skin—tap it slowly, let the water get absorbed,” be well known that it was only for your pout and hope that Toji did as you commanded.

“Done?” Not much of a question it lay, his huge body trampling over you almost as he tried pushing past you—“no? Now we do the moisturisers and the masks,”

You were met with a silence—“at what part of this will you suck my dick to make it up to me? Because that’s the only thing fun now,”

A huff you let out—“it’s fun when you do it nicely—put this on, the toner,” 

Before an objection would’ve been lain forward, your hands grabbed his, pouring some toner into it, “pat it on your face—n-no, don’t slap it! Gently!”

You could see his tightening jaw at this point—“never gonna use your ideas of fun now,”

“Let it soak in and shut up,”

“You shut up,”

Another smile, you kissed his hand as his face absorbed in the toner—“now the face mask,”

“Face mask!?”

“Don’t shout,”

“Y’er crazy, it ain’t even skin care at this point it’s fuckin’ your own face,”

Another glare and finally quiet. 

You slowly applied the face mask around his face, spreading it out evenly- biting back your giggle as closed his eyes—letting you do your job.

“You could adorable,”

“I’ll make sure you look adorable in a minute,”

“Oi- no threatening, and don’t move your face around while this is on—wash it in 10 minutes,”

“Hah!? 10 minutes?” “Yes ten minutes,”

“I’m washing it right now I don’t care doll, sure it must be fun f’yer lil’ head but—”

“We’re almost done, Toji,” your lips dragged his words as you pouted, fingers pulling at his hand, “please? Just a couple more things,” His expectant eyes encouraged you to lay down the steps—

“ok ok, you’ll wash your face after this, then toner again-”

“What.”

“Hear me out, toner, and then serum, face cream and eye cream and done!” 

You stared at him and him, you—he may a strong man but a strong will against you was not something he possessed.

“Whatever woman, you’re gonna give me a good fuck after this.”

“We sleep after the skin care love,”

“Ah? Fuck off,”

Your giggle sounded in the quiet room as did his continuous muttering. 

-

Ps: the only part he loved was while applying lip balm as the last step—where he applied it on your lips and kissed you to transfer it on <3

All of this work is original and entirely my own please refrain from copying or reposting. Likes and Reblogs highly appreciated!

[maisonaime]

The Star Who Listened [Azriel x Reader]

My little contribution to @starfallweek 2024 ✨

Prompt: Character A is a fallen star, Character B finds them

Note: Angst with a happy ending. This prompt immediately reminded me of this quote from a very beautiful but heart wrenching spoken word poem about the power of friendship and of friends who dream together. Happy Starfall Week!

“You kept a rock on a satin pillow on your bookshelf and told me ‘It’s a star.’ You said you found in a junkyard. And it had been broken down for quite some time because too many people wished on it, and that’s a lot of pressure for one little star.” Shane Koyczan and the Short Story Long, For Instance

There was no telling how long he had lain there. Long enough that the ground had given way to valleys and mountains, snow and grass, fire and rain. Long enough that the wind and the moon cooled his skin, warped from the burnout. Long enough that the bones that cracked on impact hardened in the same position they had come to rest. Long enough that he learned all of the parallels of nature.

First he learned the way the ground vibrates during an earthquake is almost indiscernible from the thundering of hooves and feet as armored men trample over him. His tears flow into the rivulets of blood from fallen warriors, which flow into the river that rages through the carrion. He wants to wash away with it.

Then he learned how the earth would split and crack and flow bright and hot, creeping across the ground like candlewax. It looks like his beautiful, ruined hands. He remembers the skin dripping off of bone when he could no longer hold the burning dreams they piled into his arms. So bright, and so beautiful, but so heavy.

Then he learned how the air would hang heavy before the sky cracks open. It reminds him of the weight that hung around his shoulders in the moments before he tumbled from the sky. Feels the despair, the failure in being unable to remain afloat. He waits for Hera’s wrath for his forsaking of Astraea.

Azriel could’ve recounted all the lessons he learned in all the hundreds of years he’d lain there. Could’ve stopped someone to tell his story, to beg pity or forgiveness, or simply for a listening ear. But how could he have proven his tale?

Who would believe that a small, rough-edged, unassuming rock was actually a fallen star?

How could he even begin to explain the thousands of dreams he had forsaken when he fell? He had seen some of those dreams dashed personally. Had seen the men whose safety had been prayed for fall screaming on their swords. Had seen a woman who wanted nothing more than a child bury seven silent born at the riverbed. Had seen the children who dreamed of their prince or princess and were instead sold into marriage beds with monsters and carted away from their homes.

So he could not move, he could not speak. He could only relive his failure and all the lessons he’d learned from it. Lessons he would never get to use. Lessons that meant nothing to anyone, because lessons don’t mean as much as dreams do.

Rocks don’t mean as much as stars.

But to you they do.

You, who look to the stars to guide you. But who also looks to the ground to see how far you have come. You who use rocks to mark the trail the stars take you along. You who collect the ones you find most beautiful, the ones that remind you of the stars.

You too have a gift for seeing the parallels in nature.

And yes, dreams are beautiful. But so are the lessons we learn when they do and don’t come true.

And so, this is how he finds himself in your pocket, after so many years in the dust. After so many years on the cold ground. The wool of your skirt is warm and soft, and it cushions Azriel’s hardened heart.

The next thing he knows he is resting on a satin pillow, high on a shelf in your room where he can watch over this strange savior. He watches day and night. Watches as you work and write and wander by day. Watches as you dream by night.

He wishes you had left him on the ground. He is stricken and terrified to be so close to another’s dreams, even as his very essence cries out to caress them. It is worse agony than he ever faced. At least before didn’t have to be so close to the humans who once depended on him.

He feels perverted because you haven’t even entrusted him with your dreams and here he is fantasizing about them. Prostrate before you trying to hold himself back, because he cannot warp your dreams with his horrible hands. Cannot bear the responsibility of ruining even one more dream. No matter how large or small.

He doesn’t even know why he is there. Why you plucked him out of his quiet obscurity and forced him to endure this proximity to such a vociferous dreamer. He loves and hates it in equal measure. Loves and hates you in equal measure.

And then the strangest thing happens one day. You are showing a friend around your room. And your friend points to him and laughs “Why do you have that rock on that pillow?” and Azriel would blush if he wasn’t a rock. But you smile knowingly and say “That’s not a rock, it’s a star I found. It fell from the sky when too many people piled their wishes onto it. Too much pressure for anything, don’t you think?” and the friend nods understandingly.

And Azriel glows. And Azriel cracks. Because he is awash with the forgiveness of a dreamer. And he remembers the child with eyes like yours but different, the first who looked up to him and wished. The one who made him want to take as many wishes as he could carry, and then take more after that.

And when the friend is gone, you reach up onto the shelf and bring down the satin pillow. You set it on your desk, and observe the crack that that splits your star down the middle. You gingerly separate the two halves, and behold the bright blue gemstone in the center.

You smile. “Do you think the weight of one person’s dreams is bearable? I promise to leave plenty of room for your own.”

Azriel glows as brightly as he once did in the sky.

[crazycurly-77]

The submarine -

Ch 7

When he got to the cabin, he was pleased to see that you were actually already waiting for him and thought to himself with a smile: “Man, I could really get used to that. Coming home to her, talking and then falling asleep at night with her in my arms…”

He sighed and only then noticed that you were standing in front of him and waving your hand in front of his face: “Earth to Gibbs, anyone home?”

He must have been mentally absent for a moment. But now that he was fully back again, he took your wrist and grumbled a little annoyed, because you had brought him out of his daydream: “Y/N…”

You laughed because he looked really cute when he was contrite. That thought suddenly made you stop laughing. Wait…where did that suddenly come from? Your boss? Cute? Oh man…if you think he’s “cute” now, you had a real problem.

A big problem in fact, because he would never get involved in a relationship with a teammate. That's why he had rule number 12. But you had to admit that you were getting more and more comfortable with the close contact with him and you had never slept better than in his arms.

Then you suddenly couldn't think at all anymore, because he had pulled you close to him by your wrist and your hip. You stood there, nose to nose, chest to chest, looking deep into each other's eyes.

What happened here...?

Unfortunately nothing, because after a short while he let you go again and went to the bathroom to get ready for the night.

Then you went to the bathroom and when you came out again he had already lain down.

You stood there and looked at him, lost in thought. Even though you had already spent the last night in the same bed, it felt strange. You would get into bed with your boss... if anyone found out, they would think something about what you had done together here other than sleeping.

“Y/N, turn off the light and come to bed, I want to sleep,” Gibbs grumbled, pulling you out of your thoughts. Oh yes, of course. You couldn't stand there all night.

As ordered, you turned off the light and went to bed. He wrapped his one arm around your waist, put his other arm under your head and pulled you close.

So wrapped in his protective arms and snuggled up close to him, you quickly fell asleep.

Gibbs, on the other hand, was laying in the bunk next to you, holding you in his arms and thinking. Your fear seemed to be lessening, because you were preoccupied with your feelings for him and he obviously switched to protective mode, because he saw you as his.

The two sailors were closer to the truth than he wanted to admit, he mused. Yes, you are an attractive woman and you really have something going for you and the constant proximity to you, getting to know each other and cuddling with each other made his blood boil more and more and he realized that he wanted more.

But could he dare...?

Up until now he had only kissed you on the temple or on the head to calm you down.

But maybe he could breathe a gentle kiss on your neck while you were sleeping?

He dared and gently kissed your neck. You thought it was just a dream and wishful thinking, but you couldn't help but say a quiet, pleasant "Hmmm".

He acknowledged this with a satisfied smile and watched as you got goosebumps and pressed yourself closer to him.

You were now laying very close to him with your back against his front and he couldn't help but moan quietly. His blood boiled with desire for you and instead of falling asleep, he was becoming highly awake.

The wall behind him meant he couldn't put any distance between you two and the fact that you moved in your sleep and rubbed your butt against his hip didn't really help either. Because now a few parts of his body were wide awake and loudly demanding attention.

His hands were tingling with the desire to explore your body and his best part had ideas of its own.

He doubted that he would get any sleep that night and was close to losing his mind. That night would be hell, because sleeping was the last thing on his mind - except with you in every position he could think of.

Sighing, he fought against his desire for you. A very beautiful and desirable woman laid in his arms, but he couldn't give in. What would you think if he made even the slightest hint?

You would be shocked at first, but would quickly respond to his advances with enthusiasm. Because feeling his toned, hot body entwined with yours and his large hands, calloused from working with wood, on your skin was the most erotic thing you had ever experienced.

How much you wished that his hands would explore your body and that he would cover your skin with kisses, but this hope was in vain, because breaking a rule was out of the question for him.

So you had to be content with laying in his arms and locking this wonderful feeling deep in your heart.

This feeling ensured that your sleep became calmer again and after a while Gibbs thankfully managed to create a little bit of distance between your seductive ass and his loins, so that his torment was no longer quite so great.

He sighed deeply, concentrated on the wonderful feeling of feeling you and was finally able to fall asleep.

(To be continued...in Chapter 8)

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Here you will find the other chapters of this story and the other stories I've written to date.

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Tags: @ilovemark1951, @hobby27

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[thebadgerclan]

With Child

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Summary: The Queen is with child...

This takes place in the “Rags to Riches” universe

You knew it would happen eventually, hell, you’d been bracing for it, but that didn’t make it sting any less.  Queen Isabella Kir-Taban-Lantsov, Daughter of Heaven, was pregnant, and Ravka rejoiced.  It was something Nikolai had made clear before he officially made you his mistress: he had to father a child by his wife, and that child had to be undoubtedly his.  It was an unpleasant thought, that the man you loved had lain with another woman, but you knew it had to be done.

The pregnancy had been announced at a court ball, where you stood at Nikolai’s left side, the place reserved for the Duchess of Os Alta, and it had been a true feat to arrange your features into a smile when Isabella had revealed her news.  “I am delighted to tell you all that I am with child!” she’d said, and while she held no love for her husband, you could tell she already loved the babe growing within her.  “Male or female, this child will sit the Ravkan throne after our dear King Nikolai. But perhaps my Shu ancestors will look kindly upon us and give us a Queen with both Taban and Lantsov blood.”

Toasts were made to the Lantsov heir, and you raised your glass alongside them, pasting a smile onto your face.  You couldn’t quite place what you were feeling, jealousy, anger, fear that Nikolai would tire of you, but all you wanted was to return to your rooms and cry.  But you knew your duty, and tonight, it was to remain at the King’s side with a smile on your face.  A while later, you found yourself grazing at the dessert table, when someone cleared their throat behind you.

When you turned, it was to find Nikolai standing behind you, a soft smile on his face.  “Hi darling,” he said, offering his arm to you. You took it, accompanying him as he walked around the perimeter of the ballroom.  “How are you doing?  I can’t imagine this is easy for you.”  You looked at him, seeing the sincerity and love on his face, and you let your resolve crumble a bit.  “It’s not,” you admitted.  “I don’t know why I feel this way; I knew this would happen, Saints, I knew when it was happening, but… I don’t know.”

You had known exactly when Nikolai was visiting his wife’s chambers.  The Healers had tracked the Queen’s cycles for three months and informed Nikolai when she was most likely to fall pregnant, and those were the nights he went to her.  On said nights, you did your best to busy yourself, to keep your mind off of where your lover was and what he was doing.  When Nikolai returned to your rooms, he pulled you close to him, kissing your forehead, whispering words of love against your skin.

Nikolai took your hand and kissed it, tugging you a bit closer.  “I know, my love.  I can’t imagine what this must be like with you.”  You shook your head.  “It’s just….the thought of what you did, and the fact that you enjoyed it enough to–”  “Let me interrupt that train of thought right there, sweetheart,” the King said, lifting your chin gently.  “First, it was a struggle to, shall we say, be at attention long enough to get the job done.  Because she’s not you, Y/N.  Objectively, yes, she’s beautiful, but nowhere near as beautiful and desirable as you.

“And second, I thought of you every second.  I don’t think there would be an heir if your face hadn’t been in my mind.”  You were stunned at his admission, and Nikolai pressed a fleeting kiss to your lips, all he could truly get away with in public, especially with his wife a stone’s throw away.  “I love you, Y/N.  I have loved you from the moment I saw you mopping my bedroom floor, and I will love you for the rest of my life.  Isabella, I respect her.  We’re friends, but I could never feel for her how I feel for you.”

You felt tears pricking at your eyes, and Nikolai kissed your forehead.  “After this child is born, I will never have to visit her bed again.  I will be completely and utterly yours, for the rest of our lives.”  You smiled, and Nikolai felt his heart burst at the sight.  “Completely and utterly mine?”  “Mhmm.  We can have ourselves a brood of princes and princesses if that’s something you want.”  You laid a hand on the King’s chest, inching ever so closer to him.  “I think I’ll just enjoy having you all to myself for a while.”

“As Her Grace wishes,” Nikolai said, and he kissed you, not caring if his court or his wife say.  “Pardon me.”  Nikolai broke the kiss, and you saw Queen Isabella standing before you, and you dipped into a curtsey.  “Moya tsaritsa,” you said.  “My congratulations on your news.”  “Thank you, Your Grace.  Might I have a word with you?”  “Certainly, Your Majesty.”  Nikolai kissed your temple and left you and the Queen, accepting hearty congratulations from his advisors.

“I wanted to speak to you personally,” Queen Isabella said.  “Before the gossips start their whispering.”  You cocked your head, and the Queen continued.  “I feel nothing beyond friendship for Nikolai.  Our joinings were to-the-point and purposeful, and when the rumor mill inevitably starts saying he spent hours in my bed, I wanted you to hear the truth from me.”  “I appreciate it, Your Majesty.  Thank you.”  “Of course.  And there is something else.  In the Shu Han, a Queen has multiple consorts so none can claim the child as his.  And as such, the children do not know who their father is.

“However, each of the consorts plays a role in the child’s upbringing, acting as uncles of a sort.  So, if it is something you wish, I would be honored if you would be my child’s aunt.”  Overwhelmed, you simply dipped into another deep curtsey.  “It would be my greatest honor, moya tsaritsa.”  Isabella smiled, taking your hand in hers.  “Now, go have some wine for me.”  You laughed as you curtsied again, joining Nikolai as he spoke to his advisors.

[lindyloosims]

Chapter Two, Part One:

Lainie Robertson and Roxy Harmon are now happily settled into their flat above the old bistro. Having met their neighbours, all there is left to do now is get to work on Lainie's dream diner! But unfortunately, making friends with your neighbours is not easy as Lainie is about to find out...

Charlotte Kennedy was thrilled to have some females living in the building, she was also excited about them coming to visit! Lainie had said she and Roxy would pop over sometime! It had been a week now and every day Charlotte got up, fed her cats and baked some cakes in anticipation of the girls visiting. "So today I'll bake a sponge, lemon drizzle cake perhaps! What do you say to that Mr Fuzzickles???"

"I wonder if Lainie likes toffees. I always eat the strawberry creams and leave the toffees, it's all I have left...who doesn't like toffees eh? Well...except me!" Charlotte giggled to herself, it was Saturday, surely Lainie and Roxy would come today?

"I can always take the biscuits round to the boys, waste not want not! But I'm sure Lainie will come..." Although Charlotte seemed like the crazy cat lady, behind the kookiness lay a very sad and broken young woman. When she was 18, she met a boy named Lewis at university who swept her off of her feet. By 19 she was married and hopelessly in love! By 23 he had left her for a younger woman, got her pregnant and demanded a divorce. Charlotte had always wanted a baby of her own, and a husband to share the joy with. But when Lewis told her he'd only married her for her father's money, Charlotte was never the same again! Feeling worthless and used, she retreated into the flat her father and brother Rob had bought for her, and hardly came out. One day Rob arrived with a little female kitten, a stray he'd found in the bins around the back, and Charlotte finally got her baby! Over the years she'd adopted and cared for over 20 cats but now she only had Mr Fuzzickles and Mrs Ubercutes and worked at the sanctuary three days a week. She'd found her purpose, once a helpless and broken young woman, she now helped helpless and broken animals!

But to have girls in the building...she waited a little longer, maybe Lainie and Roxy were busy and were coming along later..."We'll give them half an hour Mrs Ubercutes, then I'll go give the boys some cakes!"

Roxy and Lainie were indeed very busy, snubbing Charlotte was not deliberate! After adorning their walls with photos of their first day in the flat, the girls had made a start on the diner...

Having stripped the walls completely of any stray wallpaper and taking up the scratched and dirty linoleum to show the beautiful wooden floor beneath, the girls were exhausted! A whole week's work done and now they were ready to make their own mark on the place! "Well, empty canvas Lain!"

"Yes, yes it is! I can hardly believe it!" Lainie struggled to keep her eyes open she was so tired. It had been a very long day!

"I'm going for a good long soak in the tub! You coming?" Roxy stretched and yawned,

"I'll be right behind you, just going to call Mickey and tell him we're ready for the wallpaper and tiles tomorrow!"

"Well don't be long, we've done all we can for today Lain!"

After finally getting hold of Mickey White, the decorator, Lainie dragged her tired legs up the stairs to the flat and was met with a rather ugly sight, "Oh hell no!"

"Lain? I can explain!" Roxy looked over at Lainie apologetically.

"He's not staying here Roxanne! And I mean it!!! Not after last time! When are you going to learn???"

As the topic of their conversation lay fast asleep on their couch in his underwear, Roxy crept over towards Lainie to explain why her ex-boyfriend Kevin Larson was in their flat!

"He's got nowhere else to go Lain! He's lost his job and..."

"ANOTHER job! Roxanne you're a door mat and you're stupid!"

"Lain..."

"No I'm sorry I'm not going to sugar coat it for you because I love you! He cannot stay here Roxanne and that's final!!!"

As the girls' heated conversation continued, Kevin woke up and chuckled to himself, "Let me guess, you're fighting over me again huh? Ladies there's more than enough of me to go around!"

"Shut up Kev!" Lainie spat as Roxy tried to hush them both.

"Please Kev, just let me deal with this! Lainie..."

"...just for one night and then he's gone okay? Please! I know this is just another favour and they're piling up! But I still care about him Lain!"

"One night Roxanne! You hear that Kev? ONE night!!!"

"Thank you Lainie, you're a doll!" Kev winked at her and let out an enormous burp.

"Yes, thank you! You're the best Lain, you really are!" Roxy's eyes were tearing up, what was this all about???

Lainie was so exhausted after all the hard work they'd done and the argument with Roxy over Kev, she just fell into bed after her bath. But her sleep was short lived as a constant pounding disturbed her from the pleasant dream she was having...

Her legs were heavy and her arms ached but she managed to swing out of bed and stand up as the pounding continued...

...checking the clock on her bedside table, it read 1:23am. "What the heck..." as the noise grew louder, she could hear a voice...was that singing???

"Whoa whoa whoa! No! This isn't working I...wait!"

The boys had been practising Dexter's new song for hours and he still couldn't get the melody right! As he sat down at his keyboard, he knew he'd finally got it...

"There was a hole in my soul, but you filled it with love. A beautiful angel, sent from above. My heart took a beating, so cold, black and blue. But all of that ended when I first saw you..." having finally decided upon his tune, all the boys played their hearts out, all happy with the final touches...

...but they were startled to hear a very forceful and angry knock at the door, it wasn't Charlotte...she just walked in! "I'll go!" Dexter sighed and stood up from his keyboard to answer the door.

His voice caught in his throat as he was about to speak, it was Lainie, and she was in her pyjamas! She looked really annoyed! "Can I have a word please?" she gave Dexter an irritated look!

"Um..." Dexter's tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth and his palms began to sweat. This was awkward, she looked adorable in her little shorts and kitty slippers, and her hair...her freckles! He shook his head clear and tried to concentrate as Lainie began to talk...rather quickly and loudly...

"You have to keep it down!"

"Huh?"

"Do you know what time it is Declan???"

"Dexter!!!"

"Whatever, I'm so very tired and I've got to get up early tomorrow and your constant racket is rattling through my brain as I try and sleep and..."

"I...chill out!"

"CHILL OUT??? It's nearly 2 in the morning and you're asking me to CHILL...OUT???"

"2...I didn't realise it was so...nearly 2 you say?"

"Why on earth are you playing your instruments at this hour anyway???"

"We lost track of time!"

"You're out of your minds! You have no respect for your neighbours, you don't seem to realise that some people have lives and they need some SLEEP!!!"

"Yes I do! But you're being mean!"

End of Part One.

⏮️Previous/Next⏭️

[effelants]

Deeply, Deeply Weird (read it now on AO3!)

The drow — or “Vrai,” as they were calling her now, apparently — was… strange. No, she was more than strange, she was weird. That was the only thing Astarion could say about her with full confidence.  Not that he had anything even approaching ‘normal’ to compare her to at present — the peculiar assortment of clowns and weirdos inhabiting their campsite was beyond even his powers of description. But even now, those clowns and weirdos were spread out across the campsite, engaging in the most regular of evening activities: Shadowheart was reading a book, ignoring all the rest of them — good for her — and Lae’zel was sharpening her knives, throwing menacing glances every which way, though taking special care to level them at Shadowheart more often than not. Perhaps they’d finally come to blows before the evening was out… or perhaps not. Wyll and Gale were still here, after all, and they’d never stand by idly and watch, even distracted as they were by their conversation with the new tiefling woman.  A pity — but not his greatest concern at present, because even such a cursory glance over the campsite truly cast into sharp relief just how little he understood Vrai. There she sat, on the ground, off to the side, all by herself: not moving, not watching, not speaking, simply staring into the middle distance, face entirely impassive, as she did for hours and hours every evening. He was a good judge of character, of course — but what was he left with when there was seemingly no character there to judge? Whenever not actively engaged, she simply… shut down. There was no other way to describe it: there didn’t seem to be anything going on behind those intense scarlet eyes of hers unless someone else went out of their way to put it there. Oh, other than the violence — couldn’t forget that tasty little tidbit. The elegant, glorious, terrifying, effective violence that spilled out of her at the slightest provocation. Yes; Vrai was deeply, deeply weird — but it was a weirdness one could spin to their advantage, if one were so inclined. And how could anyone not be, when they had seen what she was capable of when unleashed? All that was left was to ensure that her leash was held by the right hand — his — and that should be as easy as breathing. After all, he’d said it himself: there was nothing going on behind her eyes unless someone else put it there… and here he was, the master of ensuring others thought of him, and him alone. A match designed by the gods themselves — or it could have been, had he not known full well how little the gods cared for him. No, it was mere happenstance that such a gift had fallen straight into his lap, but that was no excuse to squander the opportunity. Especially not now that he was so well on his way, her freely given blood still singing in his veins.  He still didn’t know why she’d allowed that — why she’d lain there, still and silent, letting him take what he’d wanted without anything more than a sharp intake of breath. Why, when he’d overindulged, she hadn’t even seemed to care; she’d simply taken a health potion and continued about her day, as if she hadn’t been brought to the very brink of death. What he did know, however, was that he would have her blood again — and, with it, he would take her allegiance.

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[calronhunt]

human AU WAC question: what is lain and mariner's relationship like now that canary is alive and lain didnt kill her?

and did canary existing help warbler figure out she was a girl like in canon (iirc) or was it Something Else?

(canary i like her)

Mariner and Lain's relationship is like. Fine. It primarily consists of Mariner being a little bitch and Canary telling him to play nice with the new animal in his enclosure.

They're literally only around each other because they both like Canary. Lain becomes their third in the relationship after a while, but he only loves Canary.

Two dudes chilling. vibing if you will. They never really bond more than that (at least that i've thought of right now) even though that door could be easily opened for the both of them to become close. they argue about who gets to be princess peach when they play mario kart and canary settles it by being peach so neither of them can.

and yes! Even though Canary isn't a trans woman, i think Canary doing fucky things with her gender and pronouns would help Warbler realize that like, it's the "man" part she has a problem being called. In the au she's like, freshly come out so I she's still trying to get new clothes and grow her hair out and socially transition as much as she can. Canary and Warbler's mother would definitely help her along the way too. I think it would be cute if Canary went with her and her mom to help her pick out some new clothes and stuff : )

[eirinstiva]

In Eden

I just read the first part of "The Fate of Faustina" and I'm sobbing because Raffles is pouring his heart out to Bunny [*manly tears*]

“You don’t understand, Bunny, old chap; but if you like you shall. I always meant to tell you some day, but never felt worked up to it before, and it’s not the kind of thing one talks about for talking’s sake. It isn’t a nursery story, Bunny, and there isn’t a laugh in it from start to finish; on the contrary, you have often asked me what turned my hair gray, and now you are going to hear.”

Brace yourselves, a dark story is coming, so dark that apparently, this is the reason behind Raffles' grey hair.

Only to look at her—only to look at her for the rest of my days—I could have lain low and remained dead even to you! And that’s all I’m going to tell you about that, Bunny; cursed be he who tells more! Yet don’t run away with the idea that this poor Faustina was the only woman I ever cared about.

Until now Raffles avoids talking about his feelings, and we know that he has a long record of women in his past. We know a bit about his moral greyness, and that he wss engaged to a woman just to steal something, so Raffles talking about a woman like this could be shocking for Bunny.

Otherwise I assure you that I missed my own particular kind very little indeed, though I often wished that you were there, old chap; particularly when I went for my lonesome swim; first thing in the morning, when the Bay was all rose-leaves, and last thing at night, when your body caught phosphorescent fire! Ah, yes, it was a good enough life for a change; a perfect paradise to lie low in; another Eden until....

Raffles is in the paradise with the love of his life, but his heart has enough space for Bunny. This are different kind of feelings, but the fact that he remembered Bunny while in Eden is kind of cute...

It is hard to see how the satisfactory simplicity of Raffles’ time in Italy left him with such a white mane of hair; per his narration, in my next letter it shall be expanded upon. Until then, affectionately, Bunny Manders

I know that feeling, my dear Bunny. Until the next letter~

[whumpbug]

So about Captain Nievan Alaric. How does this weirdo feel about getting married?

You mentioned that he avoids attachments because he's afraid of loss. Was he always like that? Was there ever a time when he wanted to form connections with people? Bonds that he'd be willing to nourish so they'd last a lifetime? It doesn't even have to be about marriage

YAYYY NEEVI QUESTION YAYY THE WEIRDO!!!!! this is so good im gonna briefly talk about his backstory so

cw: character death, child death

✮⋆˙

so nieven probably had the most tame backstory out of the entire crew up until the Outsec rogue attack. he grew up one of the most prominent planets of PAGE so he had access to great education and resources, and his parents were loving and caring, if a tiny bit absent because of work, and he also grew up decently affluent

when he was about 20, he met a woman and fell in love with her. her name was Laine. their relationship was young and messy and vaguely strained at times, sure, but they ultimately cared very deeply for eachother. they were never planning on getting married until laine ended up pregnant with nieven's child.

they got married, nieven got a job at one of the PAGE administration offices, and were prepared to live a cushy, if not slightly boring, life to raise their daughter, Leena.

and then leena was born.

leena was nieven's everything. she gave him purpose and fulfillment. she is what snapped him out of his mundane office job every day. she was his pride and joy. being a father taught him how to love as deeply as he does. from the moment he saw leena, he knew that he wanted to protect her with his life.

and then Outsec attacked. while he was at work.

at work in a heavily guarded and proteced government building.

he lost everything. and he was the one that made it out alive.

leena was only 3 when he lost her. he lost his wife and his daughter and his home in just a couple of minutes. and that fucked him up like no other.

so tl;dr, yes, he used to form connections. he loved his family fiercely. everything he did was for them. and you know that saying that grief is love with no place to go? that is how he's felt for the last 20ish years.

so to answer the question about marriage, it's not the marital commitment he'd be afraid of, but the thought of pouring his love into someone and having it ripped away from him again. it terrifies him. he went through it once and he doesn't intend on doing it again.

so, he keeps everyone at arm's length, but unfortunately for him, those paternal instincts never really go away and he still unconsciously craves to love someone as much as he loved laine and leena. it's like his soul needs it to sustain.

(realizing i don't think i really answered your question directly but.. maybe that is for a reason who knows.)

✮⋆˙

[andromerot]

“Yes, I wanted to stay there forever and eat much spaghetti and drink much wine and make many babies and grow fat. You would not have liked me if I had stayed. I can see you, many years from now, coming through our village in the ugly, fat, American motor car you will surely have by then and looking at me and looking at all of us and tasting our wine and shitting on us with those empty smiles Americans wear everywhere and which you wear all the time and driving o with a great roar of the motors and a great sound of tires and telling all the other Americans you meet that they must come and see our village because it is so picturesque. And you will have no idea of the life there, dripping and bursting and beautiful and terrible, as you have no idea of my life now. But I think I would have been happier there and I would not have minded your smiles. I would have had my life. I have lain here many nights, waiting for you to come home, and thought how far away is my village and how terrible it is to be in this cold city, among people whom I hate, where it is cold and wet and never dry and hot as it was there, and where Giovanni has no one to talk to, and no one to be with, and where he has found a lover who is neither man nor woman, nothing that I can know or touch. You do not know, do you, what it is like to lie awake at night and wait for someone to come home? But I am sure you do not know. You do not know anything. You do not know any of the terrible things—that is why you smile and dance the way you do and you think that the comedy you are playing with the short-haired, moon-faced little girl is love.”

James Baldwin, Giovanni's Room

[renaissanceclassics]

The Pilgrim's Progress: Part 22

Listen to: Book 2, 7th stage continued, at Renaissance Classics Podcast.

Now as they were thus in their way, there came one running to meet them, and said, "Gentlemen, and you of the weaker sort, if you love life, shift for yourselves; for the robbers are before you." Great-heart. Then said Mr. GREAT-HEART, "They be the three that set upon LITTLE-FAITH heretofore. Well," said he, "we are ready for them"; so they went on their way. Now they looked at every turning when they should have met with the villains; but whether they heard of Mr. GREAT-HEART, or whether they had some other game, they came not up to the pilgrims.

At the House of Gaius

CHRISTIANA then wished for an inn for herself and her children, because they were weary. Then said Mr. HONEST, "There is one a little before us, where a very honourable disciple, one GAIUS, dwells".

"Gaius mine host, and of the whole church, saluteth you. Erastus the chamberlain of the city saluteth you, and Quartus a brother." ~ Romans 16:23 ~

So they all concluded to turn in thither; and the rather, because the old gentleman gave him so good a report. So when they came to the door, they went in; not knocking, for folks used not to knock at the door of an inn. Then they called for the master of the house; and he came to them. So they asked if they might lie there that night. Gaius. "Yes, gentlemen, if you be true men; for my house is for none but pilgrims." Then was CHRISTIANA, MERCY, and the boys the more glad; for that the innkeeper was a lover of pilgrims. So they called for rooms: and he showed them one for CHRISTIANA, and her children, and MERCY; and another for Mr. GREAT-HEART and the old gentlemen. Great-heart. Then said Mr. GREAT-HEART, "Good GAIUS, what hast thou for supper ? for these pilgrims have come far today, and are weary." Gaius. "It is late," said GAIUS, "so we cannot conveniently go out to seek food; but such as we have, you shall be welcome to, if that will content." Great-heart. We will be content with what thou hast in the house; for as much as I have proved thee, thou art never destitute of that which is convenient. Then he went down and spake to the cook, whose name was TASTE-THAT-WHICH-IS-GOOD, to get ready supper for so many pilgrims. This done, he comes up again, saying, "Come, my good friends, you are welcome to me, and I am glad that I have a house to entertain you; and while supper is making ready, if you please, let us entertain one another with some good discourse." So they all said, "Content." Gaius. Then said GAIUS, "Whose wife is this aged matron? and whose daughter is this young damsel?" Great-heart. The woman is the wife of one CHRISTIAN, a pilgrim of former times; and these are his four children. The maid is one of her acquaintance, one that she hath persuaded to come with her on pilgrimage. The boys take all after their father, and covet to tread in his steps. Yea, if they do but see any place where the old pilgrim hath lain, or any print of his foot, it ministers joy to their hearts, and they covet to lie or tread in the same. Gaius. Then said GAIUS, "Is this CHRISTIAN'S wife, and are these CHRISTIAN'S children? I knew your husband's father; yea, also his father's father. Many have been good of this stock; their ancestors dwelt first at Antioch.

"And when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch." ~ Acts 11:26 ~

CHRISTIAN'S progenitors (I suppose you have heard your husband talk of them) were very worthy men. They have, above any that I know, showed themselves men of great virtue and courage for the Lord of the pilgrims, his ways, and them that loved him. I have heard of many of your husband's relations that have stood all trials for the sake of the truth. STEPHEN, that was one of the first of the family from whence your husband sprang, was knocked o' the head with stones.

"And they stoned Stephen, calling upon God, and saying, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep." ~ Acts 7:59, 60 ~

JAMES, another of this generation, was slain with the edge of the sword.

"And he killed James the brother of John with the sword." ~ Acts 12:2 ~

To say nothing of PAUL and PETER, men anciently of the family from whence your husband came. There were-- IGNATIUS, who was cast to the lions; ROMANUS, whose flesh was cut by pieces from his bones; and POLYCARP, that played the man in the fire. There was he that was hanged up in a basket in the sun, for the wasps to eat; and he whom they put into a sack, and cast him into the sea, to be drowned. 'T would be impossible utterly to count up all of that family that have suffered injuries and death for the love of a pilgrim's life. Nor can I but be glad to see that thy husband has left behind him four such boys as these. I hope they will bear up their father's name; and tread in their father's steps; and come to their father's end. Great-heart. Indeed, sir, they are likely lads: they seem to choose heartily their father's ways. Gaius. That is it that I said, wherefore CHRISTIAN'S family is like still to spread abroad upon the face of the ground, and yet to be numerous upon the face of the earth. Wherefore let CHRISTIANA look out some damsels for her sons, to whom they may be betrothed; that the name of their father, and the house of his progenitors, may never be forgotten in the world. Honest. 'T is pity this family should fall and be extinct. Gaius. "Fall, it cannot, but be diminished it may; but let CHRISTIANA take my advice, and that's the way to uphold it. And, CHRISTIANA," said this innkeeper, "I am glad to see thee and thy friend MERCY together here, a lovely couple. And may I advise, take MERCY into a nearer relation to thee. If she will, let her be given to MATTHEW, thy eldest son. 'T is the way to preserve you a posterity in the earth." So this match was concluded; and in process of time they were married. But more of that hereafter. GAIUS also proceeded, and said, "I will now speak on the behalf of women, to take away their reproach. For as death and the curse came into the world by a woman, so also did life and health: 'God sent forth his Son made of a woman'.

"Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden. And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living. Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them. And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:" ~ Genesis 3:1-22 ~

Yea, to show how much those that came after did abhor the act of their mother, this sex, in the Old Testament, coveted children, if happily this or that woman might be the mother of the Saviour of the world. I will say again, that, when the Saviour was come, women rejoiced in him before either man or angel.

"And Mary arose in those days, and went into the hill country with haste, into a city of Juda; And entered into the house of Zacharias, and saluted Elisabeth. And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost: And she spake out with a loud voice, and said, Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. And whence is this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For, lo, as soon as the voice of thy salutation sounded in mine ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy. And blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord. And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord, And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour. For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed. For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name. And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation. He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts. He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree. He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away. He hath holpen his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy; As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed for ever." ~ Luke 1:39-55 ~

I read not that ever any man did give unto Christ so much as one coin; but the women followed him, and ministered to him of their substance. 'T was a woman that washed his feet with tears; and a woman that anointed his body to the burial. They were women that wept when he was going to the cross; and women that followed him from the cross; and that sat by his sepulchre when he was buried. They were women that were first with him at his resurrection morn; and women that brought tidings first to his disciples that he was risen from the dead.

"And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of ointment, And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner. And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on. There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty. And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most? Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged. And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head. Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet. My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment. Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven. And they that sat at meat with him began to say within themselves, Who is this that forgiveth sins also? And he said to the woman, Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace. ~ Luke 7:37-50 ~ "And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils, And Joanna the wife of Chuza Herod's steward, and Susanna, and many others, which ministered unto him of their substance." ~ Luke 8:2, 3 ~ "And there followed him a great company of people, and of women, which also bewailed and lamented him." ~ Luke 23:27 ~ "Yea, and certain women also of our company made us astonished, which were early at the sepulchre; And when they found not his body, they came, saying, that they had also seen a vision of angels, which said that he was alive. ~ Luke 24:22, 23 ~ "And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine." ~ John 2:3 ~ "(It was that Mary which anointed the Lord with ointment, and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick.)" ~ John 11:2 ~ "Then answered all the people, and said, His blood be on us, and on our children. Then released he Barabbas unto them: and when he had scourged Jesus, he delivered him to be crucified. Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the common hall, and gathered unto him the whole band of soldiers. And they stripped him, and put on him a scarlet robe. And when they had platted a crown of thorns, they put it upon his head, and a reed in his right hand: and they bowed the knee before him, and mocked him, saying, Hail, King of the Jews! And they spit upon him, and took the reed, and smote him on the head. And after that they had mocked him, they took the robe off from him, and put his own raiment on him, and led him away to crucify him. And as they came out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name: him they compelled to bear his cross. And when they were come unto a place called Golgotha, that is to say, a place of a skull, They gave him vinegar to drink mingled with gall: and when he had tasted thereof, he would not drink. And they crucified him, and parted his garments, casting lots: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, They parted my garments among them, and upon my vesture did they cast lots. And sitting down they watched him there; And set up over his head his accusation written, THIS IS JESUS THE KING OF THE JEWS. Then were there two thieves crucified with him, one on the right hand, and another on the left. And they that passed by reviled him, wagging their heads, And saying, Thou that destroyest the temple, and buildest it in three days, save thyself. If thou be the Son of God, come down from the cross. Likewise also the chief priests mocking him, with the scribes and elders, said, He saved others; himself he cannot save. If he be the King of Israel, let him now come down from the cross, and we will believe him. He trusted in God; let him deliver him now, if he will have him: for he said, I am the Son of God. The thieves also, which were crucified with him, cast the same in his teeth. Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land unto the ninth hour. And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? Some of them that stood there, when they heard that, said, This man calleth for Elias. And straightway one of them ran, and took a spunge, and filled it with vinegar, and put it on a reed, and gave him to drink. The rest said, Let be, let us see whether Elias will come to save him. Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost. And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many. Now when the centurion, and they that were with him, watching Jesus, saw the earthquake, and those things that were done, they feared greatly, saying, Truly this was the Son of God. And many women were there beholding afar off, which followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering unto him: Among which was Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James and Joses, and the mother of Zebedee's children. When the even was come, there came a rich man of Arimathaea, named Joseph, who also himself was Jesus' disciple: He went to Pilate, and begged the body of Jesus. Then Pilate commanded the body to be delivered. And when Joseph had taken the body, he wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, And laid it in his own new tomb, which he had hewn out in the rock: and he rolled a great stone to the door of the sepulchre, and departed. And there was Mary Magdalene, and the other Mary, sitting over against the sepulchre." ~ Matthew 27:25-61 ~

Women, therefore, are highly favoured; and show by these things that they are sharers with us in the grace of life." Now the cook sent up to signify that supper was almost ready; and sent one to lay the cloth, the trenchers, and to set the salt and bread in order. Then said MATTHEW, "The sight of this cloth, and of this forerunner of a supper, begets in me a greater appetite to my food than I had before." Gaius. So let all ministering doctrines to thee in this life beget in thee a greater desire to sit at the supper of the great King in his Kingdom; for all preaching, books, and ordinances here, are but as the laying of the trenchers, and as setting of salt upon the board, when compared with the feast that our Lord will make for us when we come to his house. So supper came up, and first a heave shoulder and a wave breast was set on the table before them, to show that they must begin their meal with prayer and praise to God

"And the right shoulder shall ye give unto the priest for an heave offering of the sacrifices of your peace offerings. He among the sons of Aaron, that offereth the blood of the peace offerings, and the fat, shall have the right shoulder for his part. For the wave breast and the heave shoulder have I taken of the children of Israel from off the sacrifices of their peace offerings, and have given them unto Aaron the priest and unto his sons by a statute for ever from among the children of Israel." ~ Leviticus 7:32-34 ~ "And the wave breast and heave shoulder shall ye eat in a clean place; thou, and thy sons, and thy daughters with thee: for they be thy due, and thy sons' due, which are given out of the sacrifices of peace offerings of the children of Israel. The heave shoulder and the wave breast shall they bring with the offerings made by fire of the fat, to wave it for a wave offering before the LORD; and it shall be thine, and thy sons' with thee, by a statute for ever; as the LORD hath commanded." ~ Leviticus 10:14, 15 ~ "Unto thee, O LORD, do I lift up my soul." ~ Psalms 25:1 ~ "By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name." ~ Hebrews 13:15 ~

With the heave shoulder David lifted up his heart to God; and with the wave breast, where his heart lay, with that he used to lean upon his harp when he played. These two dishes were very fresh and good; and they all ate heartily well thereof. The next they brought up was a bottle of wine, red as blood. So GAIUS said to them, "Drink freely; this is the juice of the true vine, that makes glad the heart of God and man." So they drank and were merry.

"Butter of kine, and milk of sheep, with fat of lambs, and rams of the breed of Bashan, and goats, with the fat of kidneys of wheat; and thou didst drink the pure blood of the grape." ~ Deuteronomy 32:14 ~ "And the vine said unto them, Should I leave my wine, which cheereth God and man, and go to be promoted over the trees?" ~ Judges 9:13 ~ "I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman." ~ John 15:1 ~

The next was a dish of milk well crumbed. But GAIUS said, "Let the boys have that, that they may grow thereby".

"Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings, As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:" ~ 1 Peter 2:1, 2 ~

Then they brought up in course a dish of butter and honey. Then said GAIUS, "Eat freely of this; for this is good to cheer up and strengthen your judgments and understandings. This was our Lord's dish when he was a child: 'Butter and honey shall he eat; that he may know to refuse the evil, and choose the good'".

"Butter and honey shall he eat, that he may know to refuse the evil, and choose the good." ~ Isaiah 7:15 ~

Then they brought them up a dish of apples; and they were very good tasting fruit. Then said MATTHEW, "May we eat apples, since they were such by and with which the serpent beguiled first our mother?" Then said GAIUS: "Apples were they with which we were beguiled; Yet sin, not apples, hath our souls defiled. Apples forbid, if ate, corrupts the blood; To eat such, when commanded, does us good. Drink of his flagons, then, thou Church, his dove, And eat his apples, who are sick of love." Then said MATTHEW, "I made the scruple, because I, awhile since, was sick with eating of fruit." Gaius. Forbidden fruit will make you sick; but not what our Lord has tolerated. While they were thus talking, they were presented with another dish, and 't was a dish of nuts.

"I went down into the garden of nuts to see the fruits of the valley, and to see whether the vine flourished, and the pomegranates budded." ~ Song of Solomon 6:11 ~

Then said some at the table, "Nuts spoil tender teeth, especially the teeth of children." Which when GAIUS heard, he said: "Hard texts are nuts (I will not call them cheaters), Whose shells do keep their kernels from the eaters. Ope, then, the shells; and you shall have the meat,- They here are brought for you to crack and eat." Then were they very merry, and sat at the table a long time, talking of many things. Then said the old gentleman, "My good landlord, while we are cracking your nuts, if you please, do you open this riddle: "A man there was, though some did count him mad, The more he cast away, the more he had." Then they all gave good heed, wondering what good GAIUS would say; so he sat still awhile, and then thus replied: "He that bestows his goods upon the poor, Shall have as much again and ten times more." Then said JOSEPH, "I dare say, sir, I did not think you could have found it out." "Oh," said GAIUS, "I have been trained up in this way a great while. Nothing teaches like experience; I have learned of my Lord to be kind; and have found by experience that I have gained thereby. 'There is that scatters, yet increases; and there is that withholds more than is meet, but it tends to poverty.' 'There is that makes himself rich, yet hath nothing; there is that makes himself poor, yet hath great riches'".

"There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty." ~ Proverbs 11:24 ~ "There is that maketh himself rich, yet hath nothing: there is that maketh himself poor, yet hath great riches." ~ Proverbs 13:7 ~

Then SAMUEL whispered to CHRISTIANA his mother, and said, "Mother, this is a very good man's house; let us stay here a good while, and let my brother MATTHEW be married here to MERCY, before we go any farther." The which, GAIUS the host overhearing, said, "With a very good will, my child."

[maguro13-2]

The Dark Beginnings ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Chapter 0 Pt.8 ~

"Duo!"

"We need you Duo!"

Duo Maxwell : Guys!

"Duo! Over here, help!"

"Help, Duo!"

"Duo-san! Tasukette! Duo!*

Duo Maxwell : Everyone! Let go of them, coward!

Lain Iwakura : Duo!

Duo Maxwell : Lain!

Lain Iwakura : Yamete! Hanase! Yamete! Hanase kudasai! Tasukette, Duo, Onegai! Tasukette kudasi!

Duo Maxwell : Let her go! She's not yours to take with!

Lain Iwakura : Duo! Duo!

Duo Maxwell : Lain! Hold on! I'm coming to save you Lain!

Necrodeus : This will extremely costs you and your life as well!

*THUNDER CRASH!*

Lain Iwakura : DUOOOOOOO!!!

Duo Maxwell : LAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

(Necrodeus laughs evilly)

Necrodeus : Farewell, God of Death!

Duo Maxwell : Necrodeus!

(Birds chirping outside)

Duo Maxwell : Where...where am I? Was this all a dream? Or how did I ended up at the master bedroom? It must've been one heck of a nightmare. Did I not remember who saved my life before? Hmm? (next to him is Lain in bed) Yikes! I...It's this girl! The one who I just saved her life before. Oh crap! Now I realize how a drunken loser feels. Can't say that this ended up pretty too well. I bet Heero and the others would never recognize this as we ended up as a couple. What will we he thinking now? (lain gets up) Hey, what are you doing?

Lain Iwakura : *kiss* Good morning, sunshine. Did you rest well?

Duo Maxwell : Yep. It was a good night sleep. I mean, you are Lain Iwakura, correct?

Lain Iwakura : That's true! You finally remembered me, your own bride that you reclaimed!

Duo Maxwell : Could you tell me what is this place? Am I in a master's bedroom, is this where I...

Lain Iwakura : Of course, this is our home, you are welcome to be at here at the facility which is off the coast.

Duo Maxwell : My...What!? Who? What? Where? When? Why? HOW!?! Are you telling me that I'm actually living at a facility that you call it "Home"?

Lain Iwakura : Yes. To keep our secret away from society and people will never find out that we are secretly bounded.

Duo Maxwell : So after I was knocked out by Necrodeus's powers, does that make me feel...alive again? Did I revived? Was I brought back to life?

Lain Iwakura : That's right. The wires that I control had the power to restore you and save your life. I wanted to keep you safe from harm, and I had no choice but to ran away from Tokyo, two years after the incidents that were humans terrorizing New York and the Space Colony that tried to destroy the planet itself. So I brought you here at our home, where I restored your life and kept you safe and sound.

Duo Maxwell : So where's the kitchen?

(cuts to Duo entering the kitchen where Ichise is cooking)

Duo Maxwell : Hmm? Good morning, sir. But are you...

Ichise : Ah, Good morning, Maxwell. I am Ichise.

Duo Maxwell : Ichise? Are you another of Yoshitoshi Abe's characters.

Ichise : Correct. I am the obveser of Lain and guardian of this facility.

Alice : Long time no see, Gundam Pilot. Good morning, by the way.

Duo Maxwell : Hey, you're Lain Iwakura's classmate, Alice! And good morning to you. So what is this place exactly and how did I get here?

Ichise : This facility is for Yoshitoshi Abe's Home for his Characters, Yoshitoshi Abe Labs.

[My Room - Hideaki Kobayashi]

Duo Maxwell : A lab? This entire facility off the coast of Japan is some kind of Laboratory built above the water.

Ichise : And is also a place of residence where we call it "Home". This lab was once owned by your robot's creator, Professor G.

Duo Maxwell : Huh? How did you know about Deathscythe's creator, how did he know that this entire facility of the coast of Japan is really the lab where Deathscythe was built?

Rakka : Because...this place was built by a witch that is a master of art, science, and magic.

Duo Maxwell : That would mean one thing. A woman named Drawcia built and designed this place for all these researchers and residents. I mean how come one scienctist manage to have all his research to be here on this facility off the coast? Now it finally makes sense now, I remembered it all! This wasn't Yoshitoshi Abe's labs, It's Professor G's Labs! This facility was shutdown after Proffesor G's death, he used to own the facility and the residence, I'm finally getting it somewhere? So how long was I out for over a decade.

Rakka : You've been out for 5 years after the incident on Lain Iwakura's 14th birthday.

Duo Maxwell : So does that mean I was in a long deep sleep, I was restored with technology and this is how I give my thanks to a girl, who celebrated on her thirteenth birthday. But who designed this place that the facility was built like this? Who designed this place?

Ichise : Drawcia is the builder and designer of this Facility, but there was another that built the facility was an EVA pilot. A girl with red eyes and something said besties to Lain Iwakura. They are Japan's magnificent Psychological drama and thriller, she's a girl knows something about NERV and Angels.

Duo Maxwell : NERV? An EVA pilot built and co-design the facility and residence? Girl with red eyes, besties to Lain Iwakura, and something about NERV and Angels. I better go check it out to see if there's any clues of how did ended up at a place?

Alice : Well, there might be one, cause we know that Lain residing in this place was built and designed by her friend who nevers knows about NERV, but knows about Shinji and technology.

Duo Maxwell : Alice, Lain's classmate. Do you know who designed and built this entire place? This place is really huge! It's a place for residence and a hi-tech facility for all of you people that lived here. Didn't realize that you were only person that works around the place. That only reinforced of seeing Lain in this place where she brought me here. That's still a fact that I was the only person ever seeing outside what the coast looked like. But I wanna know answers about the facilities designer. You sure it's the second person that built and design this place?

Alice : Well, yeah. I found a photo of this woman with a witch's hat and another bestie of "Lain", she was the one of groupies we call it NGE, this one might be the closet one that Lain will ever meet. If I was not mistaken on any psychological occasions, then my suggestion this would be another crossover theory.

Duo Maxwell : So this woman on the photo. It's Drawcia and this girl?

Alice : Indeed. This one on the picture is the person who piloted a robot before you did, and she's popular on TV. You might find her in a magazine. But in other hand, I have another photo of her Lain. (Shows a photo of Lain and Rei)

*flashing images showing Rei and Lain*

Duo Maxwell : Yep. Lain's Bestie all right, and now I know who it is. Rei Ayanami. What a weird and mysterious character. I wonder what does she have to do with Lain as Bestie? This is the girl who also saved her life 5 years after I was attacked by floating skull's magical secptar.

~ Prologue 8 : Home of Monsters ~

[quinnverse]

"I'll have you know, I am perfectly capable of being soft. I merely tend to reserve such luxuries for people who do not look down upon me."

And would you show me?

"Under different circumstances, yes. I don't need a man wasting my time fumbling about like an idiot in the bedroom." It was not, of course, proper for a woman to admit such things, but Emma wasn't in the business of being proper towards him. If being perceived as a trollop was enough to ward him off of marrying her, she would do it. Swallowing the wave of embarrassment that threatened to crash down upon her, Emma continued. "If you somehow convinced me to marry you, perhaps I would be willing enough to show you what I like and how I like it. But I do not expect such a thing to happen."

I have never lain with a harlot. He defended and Emma searched his expression for any sign of deceit. If he was lying, he was damned good at it, but she refused to be swayed by him, lies or no. I haven’t needed to.

“No, of course not, because you don’t need a woman’s approval, do you? You just take what you want because you can. As long as their father approves of it, you don't need their permission, right?" Her words were pointed as she crossed her arms over her chest. She didn't believe the words she was saying, not entirely, but she wanted to make him break, somehow. And she'd found the quickest way to break a man's composure was to hurl accusations towards him-- the more insane, the better.

His agreement to her risky plan came as surprise and it took her a beat to realize what he'd said. “Done.” She echoed, offering him a curt nod as he reached out to shake her hand. But instead of a simple, professional shake, he dipped down and placed his lips against her skin. His kisses ignited a fire inside of her, one that she couldn’t categorize as either good or bad. It takes her a moment—a moment far too long—to pull away, shielding her hand behind her back.

“We ought to set some guidelines, yes?" She cleared her throat and tried to ignore the heat creeping up her spine along with the lewd thoughts that threatened to float to the forefront of her mind. "My father will not hear of this. Ever. No matter the outcome. Win or lose, he is not to know of the deal, or else the agreement is forfeit. In addition, you will remain proper in public or else the deal is off. You are to follow societal guidelines for proper courtship, or the contract is null. In turn," Emma sighed, setting aside her pride for the sake of a fair game. "I will behave properly in public, too. Which means no striking, but also no snogging.”

The feeling of his lips lingered on her wrist, each heartbeat reminding her of the way his mouth tenderly brushed against her skin. She could play dirty, too, she thought. She wouldn’t let him win. She couldn't.

“And if either of us are to find out something about the other that breaks these rules, the agreement is null. Meaning, if I find out that you are a spy or a conman, or that you do have a wife somewhere in the world, the deal is off. Do you understand? Honesty from here on out, from both of us. I refuse to marry a liar, and I will not bite my tongue for your ego’s sake."

The conditions she proposed lingered in the air for a moment as her mind spun, trying to think of any other important details to add to the contract. She would undoubtedly think of more later, but, for now, she was content with the major rules she had laid down. Propiety in public settings, honesty in all matters, and absolutely no, under any circumstances, informing her father of their plans.

“I propose we give it until Yuletide. It will be a very merry Christmas for one of us, no doubt.” She refused to let him think she had any concerns about winning, but Emma couldn’t help but think ahead. Her life was at risk and it was a true businesswoman who considered the outcome of each win and loss. If she were to win this bet, of which she was determined to do no matter the cost, she would be free to continue her life as a spinster. But if she were to somehow lose, if she were to somehow fall for his fiendish tricks, it wouldn't hurt to put some thought into a possible wedding.

She’d always dreamt of a winter wedding, the kind her own parents supposedly had. The thought of the smell holly and evergreen filling the air sounded magical. With a white dress and white blanketing the world around them, a winter wedding would be beautiful. And the idea of having the presence of another body keeping her warm at night was rather exciting, as well. It would not be his body, though. Anyone but him.

“If you have any restrictions or rules you’d like to present, now is your chance. Otherwise…” With a subtle smirk, Emma hocked a mouthful of saliva and spat in her own hand before holding it out once more in the most unladylike fashion she could conjure up. If he wanted to marry her, he'd have to tolerate her quirks, the good and the bad.

“Shall we swear on it, Mister Bolton?”

"What you think you know," she coolly corrected. "You know nothing about me, sir."

"And I continue to be blessed," Benjamin quipped, smiling at her stiff response. "Thus far, you've made it abundantly clear the type of woman you are: you're unaccustomed to being taken seriously, so you feel the need to nip, bite, and snipe much as a man would, in order to be both seen and heard. You feel that if you're to be soft, that you won't get anywhere in business -- not beyond the role of wife -- and alas, you're probably right on that account. Most men do not want a brash, headstrong woman for a wife, and most men prefer not to have a woman with a fondness for commerce." He shrugged, smiling. "Fortunately for you, I take no issue with any of the above. So long as I find a woman intellectually sound and engaging, I can enlist her help in all I see fit."

Some more so than others. Although Emma wasn't exactly forthright, she seemed quick to try and prove she had extensive knowledge of the more masculine affairs. That pride of hers was bound to give him the intelligence he needed, and he would keep poking and prodding until she did so.

Pink-cheeked and livid, Emma declared, "I would rather throw myself into the Charles than become one of your paramours. You wouldn't know how to please me even if I showed you."

Benjamin blinked at that. "And would you show me?" he asked, a hint of amusement flashing across his eyes. "Need I bring up my schooling again? I was at the top of my class, and thus, I am an excellent study. But if not..." Here, he shrugged. "I am rather fond of swimming. Perhaps we should head into the Charles together."

Emma was quick to deflect, "I wouldn't have the patience anyway. You may be able to pay harlots to pretend but I would never stoop so low."

Benjamin hummed. "Didn't you just take issue with me not knowing you? Because no matter how many times you speak it into existence, Miss Dunster, I have never lain with a harlot, nor do I intend to do so. I haven't needed to."

Finally, Emma's mercurial disposition softened somewhat, though an ever-present challenge sparked across her sharp gaze. "Since you enjoy games so much, allow me to propose a challenge. If you can somehow convince me to marry you by the end of the season, I will walk down the aisle willingly."

That, admittedly, wasn't an offer Benjamin expected. "Done," he agreed.

She extended her hand -- another surprising gesture, if he was being honest with himself -- and with an impish smile, he accepted and gave her a firm shake. Though as their fingers remained clasped, his touch softened and he bent at the waist, drawing her hand up to his lips. He scattered kisses across her knuckles, her fingertips, her palm, her wrist, his ardor causing him to linger against her skin before he declared, "May the best man -- or woman -- win."

[writingsfromhome]

Rules to Break

A/N: not much to say about this, just a super fluff first-impression one shot.

—————————————————

He noticed her the first time she came in, but only because she was holding a copy of his favourite book. She’d lain it on the countertop as she squinted up at the menu and asked him if they did an iced Americano.

“We do,” he wanted to ask her about the book but when she meets his eye he’s suddenly nervous. He could tell she was in a rush, after working as a barista for nearly two years Harry could tell that when a customer looked past you even when they looked directly at you…it was not time to engage in small talk. “Is that all?”

“Uhm yes,” she bites her lip and glances at her phone. “Will that be long?”

He was right, “I’ll get started on it now for you.” Harry’s coworker shoots him a look as she moves aside from the espresso machine. He was supposed to be on cash strictly. But Americanos were easy and there were only two people in line.

“Pretty privilege,” she mutters. She was always going on about how life was easier for pretty people. Harry didn’t disagree, but also thought she benefitted from the same thing. He thought it was smarter not to say anything lest she bite his head off though.

“Here you are,” Harry pushes the drink at the pickup counter. She looks up from her phone, book tucked under her arm.

“Oh! That was quick. Thank you,” she smiles at him and this time she looks at him. Why did she make him so damn nervous?

Harry saw her a few times a week since then, usually with a friend but there were some times by herself in the far corner of the cafe. Her headphones on and typing away furiously at a laptop.

He never denied he was a romanticist, he fell in love easily and always. It never stuck of course, he was in love with the idea in his head, and it was easy when you worked in a cafe that was a revolving door for interesting people carrying small pieces of their lives on show while he made their drinks or took their orders.

The danger came from regulars; he had a rule not to romanticize regulars. But it was a rule he had to break when it came to her.

Today, she orders her usual and finds the only available seat near the sink. It was exam season so the cafe was mostly filled with students. Which meant it was too busy for Harry to keep an eye on her, him and his two colleagues work around each other as they pump out drink after drink.

3 hours later, Harry takes his 15 minute break. She’s still at her table, a friend had joined her. They talk animatedly over whatever’s on screen.

While her friend scans the screen, she sits silently. Then her eyes flit up and find Harry’s staring. Shit. He looks down at the water in his hand, turns awkwardly, and shuffles to the break room. It felt like she’d broken the fourth wall…it was uncomfortable as Harry remembers everything he knew about her was her coffee order, a shared book interest, and fantasy. He had to stop doing this.

Harry avoids her general area as he finishes his shift. He takes lunch in the break room, and focuses on the customer in front of him. One after the other.

Close to the end of his shift he risks a glance that way, and he’s surprised to still see her there. She must have ordered something when he was on his break because a second drink and half-eaten sandwich sits on her table.

The woman herself is staring into space, Harry thinks she’s day dreaming but she could be deep in thought. Maybe there was no difference. She snaps out of her thoughts and glances back at her screen. She must have noticed Harry though because she looks back up to him. This time she smiles. Harry nods and turns back to pouring the espresso in front of him.

Why did he nod? Was that supposed to be cool? What the fuck?

This was getting ridiculous. It’s been over a month of romanticizing someone just because she came in with a book. For all he knew she was holding it for a friend. He had to get over this—this was why he had that rule. He could obsess over someone he’d made up in his head for too long if he saw them too often. He had to stop.

“Can I uhm, get you a refill?” Harry decides to approach her table. “Seems like you could use one?”

“Oh,” her voice is soft, surprised when he appears at her table. “As much as I’d love that, I think I’ve had enough coffee for today.”

“Oh,” well that didn’t go how he expected. This was the other part about Harry’s fantasies—the reality always let him down. “Okay.”

“Okay,” she laughs. “Sorry have I been here too long? Are you subtly kicking me out?”

“No!” Harry realizes she’s smiling about it a beat too late. God he was normally not this awkward. He forced a laugh. “You have been here for some time, I thought you could use a refill. What are you working on?”

“Oh this,” she tilts her screen down lower. Government secrets.”

Harry waits a moment, unsure if her deadpan was really good or she was joking. She cracks a smile though and he laughs.

“You’re quite a serious one then,” she opens her screen back up.

“I’m…I’m really not. I’m mostly an idiot, ask my colleagues.” Harry glances back at the other side of the countertop and risks sitting in the seat opposite this woman. “To be honest I think I’m just a bit nervous.”

“Nervous?!”

“You’re intimidating!”

“Me!? Oh my god nobody has ever called me intimidating!”

“Nobody’s ever called me serious!” Harry laughs.

“I guess we don’t know each other at all,” she shakes her head with a laugh. “Intimidating.”

“You come in here regularly and just type away at your laptop all seriously. Your government secrets intrigue me.”

“My government secrets huh?” She smirks and Harry blushes.

“Yeah,” Harry pushes on. “Obviously. What else.”

“So is it true about regulars, do baristas actually remember our drinks?”

“Yeah,” Harry’s relieved at the switch in subject. “Iced Americano, sometimes with an almond croissant.”

“Hey that’s me,” she grins. “I’m actually writing a…well it’s supposed to be a novel. Right now it’s a fucking mess.”

“That’s what my mum calls me,” Harry jokes. “But I’m sure your work is great.”

“Nah not yet,” she leans forward on the table. “Does your mum actually?”

“She’s said it once, last Christmas.” Harry wasn’t sure if this was oversharing but she nods for him to continue. “I graduated with all these distinctions and now I’m just working at a coffee shop. I think she’s worried I’m not going to do anything with my life.”

“It’s not all cracked up to be,” she rests her head on her hand. “I had a job right out of uni, hated my life for over a year before I just said fuck it and quit. I live at home again, like I’m a bloody teenager. But…I think I’m happier.”

“I’ll put you on a call with my mum, say that exact same thing to her. Please?”

The pair laugh out loud, any awkwardness from before completely gone.

“It’s like I’m so burnt out from studying and never getting a break. I don’t want one part of my life to just rollover into the next.”

“Yeah!” she agrees.

“And, she doesn’t think it’s a real job, but I model on the side. I actually like doing it with this job so-“

“Of course you do!”

“What?” Harry watches her lean back in her chair and cross her arms.

“I should’ve know you model.”

“You should’ve?” He can’t help but grin.

“Yeah,” she looks like she’s putting the pieces together about Harry. “Your government secrets no long intrigues me, I know what you use them for.”

The unexpected joke makes Harry laugh, a bit too loud. His team lead calls out his name and reminds him his break is about done.

“Sorry,” she whispers to him. “Didn’t mean to get you into trouble.”

“It’s alright.” Harry chuckles. “I’m off in a half hour anyway, I haven’t got much work to go back to.”

“Oh,” she nods stiffly. “Alright.”

“Okay,” Harry gets up. “I’ll see you around Iced Americano.”

“That’s an awful nickname.”

Harry just shrugs and gets back to work, which is mostly cleaning up at this point. He realizes he should have asked if she had plans, they could grab a bite to eat since he knows she’s been here most of the day. Maybe he should ask now.

Harry peeks over the sink but her seat is empty and everything is gone from the table. He glances around the room but she had left. Disappointed. He felt a bit let down.

On the other hand, he realizes that this was the first time someone in his head didn’t let him down. She was bright, and funny, and really nice to him even though he cringed at how creepy he’d been. The disappointment stabs at him again. Oh well. There was always next time.

Once his shift finishes, and he changes out of the T-shirt that smelled like burnt coffee beans, Harry says his goodbyes and leaves. He turns to the right where the bus stop is but pauses when he spots a familiar figure on the bench.

“I was going to go home. But then I decided I would wait out your shift. And then it felt weird to go back inside so…”

“Aren’t you cold?” It was a brisk December evening.

“Fuck yes,” she hops up and walks over to Harry. “D’you want to grab a bite?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” he couldn’t hide the relief in his voice. She had stayed.

“I know a good spot but it’s about 20 minutes walk?”

“I’m alright, I thought you were cold?”

“Not with company,” she threads her arm through his and they laugh at her cheesy response.

“It’s the company you make along the way,” Harry joins in.

“Exactly!”

They head in her direction and it occurs to Harry. “I don’t even know my company’s name.”

“Oh my god,” she laughs and sticks her free hand out to Harry as they continue walking. “I’m Y/N!”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Harry.” he shakes her hand and they laugh again at how weird they’re being.

“I know,” she smiles up at him. “Your name tag.”

“So I’m the only one who’s been in the dark.”

“‘Fraid so. Remember when you thought I was intimidating?”

“And you thought I was serious,” Harry laughs. She was an open book and he was always cracking jokes. How quickly they went from strangers to something else.

“We were naive then..but I’m still interested in this modelling you do. What’s it for?”

Harry explains his other job to her, the kinds of shoots he landed. What he was aiming for gig-wise. By the time they reach their destination Harry had asked Y/N about her novel and she was happily explaining to him what she wanted to write. He was happily listening.

Harry was glad he’d broken his rule because the mysterious girl in the corner of the cafe was splitting the mystery wide open. And turns out she was actually really cool.