#because of course I did
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benrey b. benrey album
#benrey#benry#hlvrai#benrey hlvrai#hlvrai fanart#aphex twin#blues art#cw eye contact#this might be a jumpscare#but i thought id try something a lil different#this was a fun way to experiment with lighting and the curves of the face and shi#and also kind of a study of the richard d james album cover#but i had to make it hlvrai#because of course i did#i listen to aphex alot when i draw benrey and have a lot of his songs on my benrey playlist#so i think it was fitting#half life vr but the ai is self aware
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Week 34 - November 19th, 2023 'Castle on the Hill' - Ed Sheeran Spotify / YouTube
Tired padawans, best friends. Quinlan is complaining about everything except for Obi-Wanās feet draped over him; and Obi-Wan is listening to every complaint with the amusement of someone who has the exact same thoughts. Enjoy!
#SCREAMS#posted the wrong version#because of course I did#so second time#better late then never...?#obi wan kenobi#quinlan vos#fanart#star wars#my art#week 34
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considering each episode as an allegory for sam and dean's story has done irreparable damage to my psyche. if bugs is about cursed land and if bugs is about sam and his relationship to his father, his family, then bugs is about how sam's body (his "land") has been cursed, later even confirmed to be by his ancestors just as oasis plains was cursed by its ancestors. mary sacrificed sam's body to azazel, poisoned him, sent him to the slaughter. you can't break a curse, you can only outrun it. the fact that sam and dean were stuck within the curse only solidifies the connection: they're fruitlessly fighting the literal curse while sam fights the metaphorical curse within him. it's an episode about sam and his anger at john, about dean and his loyalty to john, about how they're both wrong in different ways. it's an episode about family and ancestors and killing your children, making your lands infertile so no future generations can survive on them. it's an episode about sam.
and it comes right before home, the episode which presents with full, explicit confirmation that sam has developed psychic powers. there's evil inside him and he's scaredā"what's happening to me?"āand he's uncertain about himself, his past, and his future. the episode that reveals his psychic powers is the episode they return to their childhood home, is the episode where mary's ghost makes an appearance. sam was cursed by mary and their home was made inhospitable; she forced them out like the white man forced out the euchee.
and it comes right after hook man, the episode which wraps sam's feelings of being cursed in sinful, evil, religious language, which shows his deference to the christian god, which implies there's something evil within him that's hurting the people he loves. sam is evil, sam is cursed, sam is harboring something bad within him and the way to absolve him of his sins is to pray for divine retribution and punishment, for death, because the thing inside of sam is inextricable from himself, is bound to him.
all three episodes are about family and repeating curses, the echoes of harm carrying through generations. all framed through sam's relationship to john, to his past, to the people who came before him he knows nothing about. all culminating in the revelation that sam's fears are coming true and the curse he mentioned two episodes ago is real and it's getting worse and no one knows how to stop it.
but you can't break a curse. you can only get out of the way.
#liveblogging: supernatural#spn1.07#spn1.08#spn1.09#these episodes have poisoned me so bad#i was going to just leave my little photoset thingamabob as it was but i decided i needed to write about it too#because of course i did#sorry about 1.08 bugs being one of my favorite episodes. i'm not normal about it#dean says you can't break a curse you can only get out of the way and my mind produces images of 8.23 sacrifice#this is what your brain looks like on sam winchester#spn posting#.txt#spn1
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The Star Who Listened [Azriel x Reader]
My little contribution to @starfallweek 2024 āØ
Prompt: Character A is a fallen star, Character B finds them
Note: Angst with a happy ending. This prompt immediately reminded me of this quote from a very beautiful but heart wrenching spoken word poem about the power of friendship and of friends who dream together. Happy Starfall Week!
āYou kept a rock on a satin pillow on your bookshelf and told me āItās a star.ā You said you found in a junkyard. And it had been broken down for quite some time because too many people wished on it, and thatās a lot of pressure for one little star.ā Shane Koyczan and the Short Story Long, For Instance
There was no telling how long he had lain there. Long enough that the ground had given way to valleys and mountains, snow and grass, fire and rain. Long enough that the wind and the moon cooled his skin, warped from the burnout. Long enough that the bones that cracked on impact hardened in the same position they had come to rest. Long enough that he learned all of the parallels of nature.
First he learned the way the ground vibrates during an earthquake is almost indiscernible from the thundering of hooves and feet as armored men trample over him. His tears flow into the rivulets of blood from fallen warriors, which flow into the river that rages through the carrion. He wants to wash away with it.
Then he learned how the earth would split and crack and flow bright and hot, creeping across the ground like candlewax. It looks like his beautiful, ruined hands. He remembers the skin dripping off of bone when he could no longer hold the burning dreams they piled into his arms. So bright, and so beautiful, but so heavy.
Then he learned how the air would hang heavy before the sky cracks open. It reminds him of the weight that hung around his shoulders in the moments before he tumbled from the sky. Feels the despair, the failure in being unable to remain afloat. He waits for Heraās wrath for his forsaking of Astraea.
Azriel couldāve recounted all the lessons he learned in all the hundreds of years heād lain there. Couldāve stopped someone to tell his story, to beg pity or forgiveness, or simply for a listening ear. But how could he have proven his tale?
Who would believe that a small, rough-edged, unassuming rock was actually a fallen star?
How could he even begin to explain the thousands of dreams he had forsaken when he fell? He had seen some of those dreams dashed personally. Had seen the men whose safety had been prayed for fall screaming on their swords. Had seen a woman who wanted nothing more than a child bury seven silent born at the riverbed. Had seen the children who dreamed of their prince or princess and were instead sold into marriage beds with monsters and carted away from their homes.
So he could not move, he could not speak. He could only relive his failure and all the lessons heād learned from it. Lessons he would never get to use. Lessons that meant nothing to anyone, because lessons donāt mean as much as dreams do.
Rocks donāt mean as much as stars.
But to you they do.
You, who look to the stars to guide you. But who also looks to the ground to see how far you have come. You who use rocks to mark the trail the stars take you along. You who collect the ones you find most beautiful, the ones that remind you of the stars.
You too have a gift for seeing the parallels in nature.
And yes, dreams are beautiful. But so are the lessons we learn when they do and donāt come true.
And so, this is how he finds himself in your pocket, after so many years in the dust. After so many years on the cold ground. The wool of your skirt is warm and soft, and it cushions Azrielās hardened heart.
The next thing he knows he is resting on a satin pillow, high on a shelf in your room where he can watch over this strange savior. He watches day and night. Watches as you work and write and wander by day. Watches as you dream by night.
He wishes you had left him on the ground. He is stricken and terrified to be so close to anotherās dreams, even as his very essence cries out to caress them. It is worse agony than he ever faced. At least before didnāt have to be so close to the humans who once depended on him.
He feels perverted because you havenāt even entrusted him with your dreams and here he is fantasizing about them. Prostrate before you trying to hold himself back, because he cannot warp your dreams with his horrible hands. Cannot bear the responsibility of ruining even one more dream. No matter how large or small.
He doesnāt even know why he is there. Why you plucked him out of his quiet obscurity and forced him to endure this proximity to such a vociferous dreamer. He loves and hates it in equal measure. Loves and hates you in equal measure.
And then the strangest thing happens one day. You are showing a friend around your room. And your friend points to him and laughs āWhy do you have that rock on that pillow?ā and Azriel would blush if he wasnāt a rock. But you smile knowingly and say āThatās not a rock, itās a star I found. It fell from the sky when too many people piled their wishes onto it. Too much pressure for anything, donāt you think?ā and the friend nods understandingly.
And Azriel glows. And Azriel cracks. Because he is awash with the forgiveness of a dreamer. And he remembers the child with eyes like yours but different, the first who looked up to him and wished. The one who made him want to take as many wishes as he could carry, and then take more after that.
And when the friend is gone, you reach up onto the shelf and bring down the satin pillow. You set it on your desk, and observe the crack that that splits your star down the middle. You gingerly separate the two halves, and behold the bright blue gemstone in the center.
You smile. āDo you think the weight of one personās dreams is bearable? I promise to leave plenty of room for your own.ā
Azriel glows as brightly as he once did in the sky.
#Starfall Week 2024#acotar#azriel#fantasy#acotar fanfiction#azriel x reader#classic Azriel angst#because of course I did#angst#angst with a happy ending#night court#acotar crack
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Of course we walked into a bar and they were auctioning off paintings for an LGBQT+ charity and of course my heart had to buy one and then of course I carried it around with me all night and even danced with it on the dance floor
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So this happened.
I'm Wolfwood, @davidkage is Vash, and my sister is Meryl.
#Krazy Cosplays#siouxpercon#siouxpercon 2024#trigun#trigun stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vash the stampede#meryl stryfe#trigun cosplay#the Punisher weighs 30 pounds#and my arm hurts after carrying it around all day#and yes I proposed to Vash with a Ring Pop#in front of a trash can#and the bathroom#because of course I did#I still can't believe we won like omg
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how did I make it past the age of forty and through several major dental problems before finding out that clove oil is a natural dental anesthetic and if you dilute it with some olive oil, put it on a cotton ball, and hold it against the agony, you stop wanting to punch your own face off
this shit is for real and everyone needs to know
#brought to you by the fact that I got dry socket#because of COURSE I did#I followed all the instructions#but I have very shitty luck with dental stuff#anyway I feel great now#personal
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did you watch nonsense christmas scanning the background and audience for someone or are you normal.
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Bro I just read a bkdk fanfic and holy moly-
y'all are never starving. You guys get constantly fed. How!?!? This is amazing!! I can feel the start of a new hyperfix
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
if bkdk bad why do we keep winning
BECAUSE DUDE
WE KEEP WINNINGGGGGGG
join us comrade. hop aboard the bkdk brain rot train.
#but like actually#their dynamic is so complex and developed#both in canon and in fics#and its so ASUBIDOJPKASDF#I COULD TALK ABOUT IT FOR DAYSSSSSSS#i literally got into fan fiction because of bkdk#and wrote my first fanfic ever because of bkdk#it was a bkdk fanfic obviously#and i went for the throat with a hurt no comfort#because of course i did#>:3#bkdk#bakudeku#dkbk#dekubaku#also i am always down to scream about my fav lil gay boys so dont be afraid of coming in asks/messages to scream along with me#i will gladly reciprocate#asks#answered asks#mizismiz
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Redownloaded this game after almost 2 years just to get her, god bless
#genshin impact#arlecchino#arlecchino genshin#gold's art#catsona#c1 if you were wondering#the universe blessed me TWICE#HOW?? I DON'T KNOW BUT I'M NOT COMPLAINING#snagged kaeya's alt costume in the shop too#because of course i did#love father's playstyle btw i'm gonna speedrun getting her materials
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They are playing lotr on the tv for christmas so i am just flashed back to the time i watched the two towers and shipped eowynn and grima wormtongue <3
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Colorized photo stills from Coffee and Cigarettes (2003)
#so i found these recently#and i decided to color them#because of course i did#like how these came out#i found another one#but his face was turned#oh darn#coffee and cigarettes#my sweet alfredo#my heart#ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø#alfred molina
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.
#i need to say this somewhere. like. tangible where people can see it and so im not alone or something#and i cant do it on twitter for reasons#and i cant do it on bluesky for reasons#and i cant really talk to anyone one on one for reasons#so i have this friend. and at first they were just really cool and funny but i shouldve fucking known better#because this happens to me so goddamn often#fell in love with them#because OF COURSE i did#but its almost impossible for us to be together. for reasons.#and at first i was okay with that and i still kind of am because having them as a friend is also amazing#like genuinely theyre a wonderful friend#but part of me also is in so much fucking pain over it like its starting to physically hurt me#im writing poetry abt this guy i made a playlist i made a pinterest board im fucking cooked#and every time i talk to him i feel like i fumbled it all#i havent yet i just have issues that convince me i did but so far we're still really close#i just overreact#im still so scared that one day theyre gonna go āactually youre a creep fucking weirdo and im not talking to you any moreā im fucking#im so sure its gonna happen#theyre gonna notice eventually if they havent already#and then im really gonna be fucked#i just hope i dont annoy them as much as i fear i do and i hope they like talking to me as much as i like talking to them and#yeah#im kind of down bad#in the worst way
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Hell yeah hell yeah
#roller skates#Iām so excited and a little intimidated ngl#moxi skates#also I think everyone should know that I created a 4.5 hour long playlist of roller disco classics#because of course I did#š¼š
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Your arms are my castle...
#cyberpunk 2077#oc: zayn mackenna#dino dinovic#otp: low octave#nsft#mlm#Yes I did link that video in the caption#because of course I did#it's on their playlist š
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So, I preordered Veilguard. And I don't care who knows it!
#da:ve#dragon age veilguard#because of course I did#I was going to buy it anyway come on#let's be honest here
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