#‘this is my blog and i will post whatever i want and i’m making it everyone’s problem’

[candyheartedchy]

You have such a dedicated following and friends in the selfship community- how do you do that? I've been posting for over a year and a half now and I just can't seem to get many mutuals or really anyones eyes on my stuff. Any tips? - @/jamestown-base

To be honest I never know what I’m doing online. I’ve been on this site for about four years and just been winging it because to this day I’ll still finding out new things about internet culture and all that. Even watched old mutuals of mine come and go sadly. But after spending almost a whole decade and a half friendless, I’m always just baffled that anyone wants to interact with me or be my friend since I was just ingored for years among my peers. So any friends I’ve made on here I treasure. This blog I always saw as a kind of diary for me and I always confused by any following I get. Like don’t get me wrong, I appreciate any support I get, and I’ll lose followers here and there, but I never know why anyone follows or unfollow because I’m just doing whatever on here.

I know most will say, “Hop into what’s popular for quick views!” since a lot of folks these days do that for a following (which honestly I think would be exhausting to do), but I think reaching out to others, making connections, especially to those who share the same fandoms as you can help you make mutuals or friends (and this is coming from someone who still has to force herself to get out of her comfort zone to message back friends and others that I admire due to my anxiety). Connections are very important. But also doing what makes you happy just for you is important as well because you will find those who’ll adore your stuff and it will all be worth the waiting and loneliness. Trust me, I know.

[electronicmail]

Firefox-official vs electronicmail

Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby

okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole it’s electronicmail or nothing

[shorthaltsjester]

i do not want to dig a hole but i am too much of a laura bailey pc enjoyer to not make this post so:

selfishness ≠ a lack of kindness 

selfishness is a theme that has come up with all of laura's main campaign pcs. that doesn't mean that her characters are always making selfish choices or that they don't care about the rest of the people they're with or that they're not good. it's just that, for the most part, the first thing they're thinking of when they take action or make choices is themselves. 

in jester and vex both it is more typical and obvious selfishness. vex's developed because she needed it to keep herself and vax alive and as safe as possible and it grew into a behaviour that she had to actively work to avoid. it's evident in her greed, her theft of the broom, her reaction to her own death which relied heavily on i'm okay/i survived to which keyleth reminded her that she wasn't the only one who had to witness and reckon with her death. in jester's case, she grew up in an environment that literally trained her to make every decision based on two things - her mother's opinion and her own. so, when she's out in the world without marion for the first time, her choices are those that will benefit her and her actions are those that consider her own thoughts and not really many others' (aside from the traveler's). 

it isn't a criticism of either vex or jester to say that they are characters who act selfishly. in fact, i'd argue that to claim otherwise does a great disservice to exactly how immense both of their character arcs are. because the nuance of both jester and vex is that they are selfish, and they also hold extreme room for self-sacrifice and empathy. vex is much more brash than jester is, and jester is much more trusting than vex, but both of them are characters who begin with selfish impulses who grow with them. neither ever truly shed those impulses, but they use them in new ways, typically transforming them into impulses towards things that are in the best interest of the party. 

you may have noticed the lack of imogen in this post about laura bailey pcs and that's because of two reasons. one, we are an unknown amount of time into her story, i can't analyse her development the same way i can vex and jester's. two, imogen's selfishness isn't the blatant quasi-self-aware selfishness that we see in things like jester complaining about her lack of money to caleb or vex stealing a broom. instead, imogen's is very internal, like a lot of laura's character work with imogen. it is a bit similar to jester’s in the sense that it comes from a lack of awareness moreso than vex’s practiced behaviour, but imogen’s is a lot more tied to inherent beliefs she has about the world and the people in it.

as a consequence of her powers, imogen sees people's thoughts as their entirety, she holds it above their actions to be the truth of who they are - to act against what they think or to say something that doesn’t cohere with what they’ve thought is akin to lying, so for her to act empathetically is to act in tandem with what someone else’s thoughts are, not how they act, which is typically not all that wanted. the same as vex’s greed and jester’s naivety, this is a trait that makes narrative sense and it’s one i find quite compelling, especially when read in the vein of someone struggling through trauma that has made them assume that the world is against them. imogen’s cynicism is coherent cynicism, i can’t say that in a similar situation i wouldn’t have the same predisposition towards the world.

the part that is particularly self-interested comes in if you look at how imogen has actually been treated in the campaign (quite well) in comparison to the cynicism that she’s developed from her past (something that speaks to a world out to get her). certainly, a bunch of shitty things have happened to imogen in the time we’ve known her, but the same can be said for everyone in bell’s hells and pretty much everyone in exandria at this point in time. but, in a fight to save the aforementioned world, imogen’s focus was getting her mother back on her side. which, while very consistent with her character and a choice that i enjoy, is a very selfish one. the fun thing (to me, obviously) about imogen is that she has, more than most, an insight into the opinions of others and she also tends to seek others’ opinions out and genuinely engages with them and supports their choices. but she still very much acts towards what she thinks is best. it’s one reason i enjoy looking at the dynamic between her and orym as one between foils, as orym tends to be stalwart in his beliefs and doesn’t care too much for other’s opinions if he’s already sure of his own, but his actions tend to favour collaboration and protecting others.

as i mentioned earlier, imogen is a harder case to look at because she is still in the process of her story. however, the circlet is clearly influencing how she interacts with the world and in the wake of the solstice, the hostile reaction towards ruidusborn people has started to become more and more apparent and i’m interested to see what route that ends up leading imogen down and how it will influence her relationship with the rest of bell’s hells. (for better, i think, based on recent conversations, but if it's for worse i will be just as seated and excited).

all of this is just to say, please stop assuming that claiming a character has a trait you think is a bad one is criticism or a hate post. in light of the fact that i know that people who don’t believe this will continue to not believe this, i’ll encourage anyone confused about the ability of a character to be good and kind and selfish all at once to look to what the text itself says, specifically scanlan’s words to pelor when asked what vex means to him:

“Her name is Vex, and she is greedy and mean sometimes, and she can steal a lot. She’s a little bit not the greatest person, but her flaws highlight everything that is right about her, which is she does all these things to protect her friends and her family. She would give her life for any of us and for anyone who was truly in need. And she’s not perfect but she’s the most perfect of all of us.”

would you look at that... an ability to be a multitude of things, some in conflict with one another. i know that's hard for fandoms to believe, especially about female characters with agency, but i promise its true!

[askthisfishprince]

((Hello!! I just wanted to pop in to say that I apologize for the lack of replies lately! Full transparency, I have rampant adhd which makes focusing on literally anything almost impossible :,) And I wasn’t able to get my medication for a while because of a shortage. So that was stunning 🥰✨))

((BUT! I have obtained said medication and can start doodlin the fish guy again for more than five minutes!! 🕺🐟))

((So hopefully some more dumb little Eridan replies will be posted soon! Also thanks again for interacting with this blog in any way shape or form 🥺❤️ I appreciate all the tags, comments and dms all the time!))

[right-there-ride-on]

Gyjo in the fandom

cw: light discussion of ableism

Gyjo… what am I thinking about gyjo…

I like them. I like them a lot, actually. They have paralleled narrative arcs, they complement each other nicely, the romantic subtext is incredibly obvious to the point that even the most homophobic fan you know will admit they understand why people ship it… so why do I also have a problem with it?

There’s a lot of good fanart. Hell, I’ve reblogged plenty. Maybe it’s just something that’s more pronounced in fic.

I’m trying to word this correctly. My issue with gyjo has nothing to do with the text itself. I think my problem is just how people portray it in the fandom.

Maybe it’s because it’s so popular, or maybe it’s the sheer prominence of applying ‘Character A’ and ‘Character B’ dynamics without considerable regard for the characters involved, but I feel gyjo is very prone to flanderization. I believe the intersection with how ableist people are toward Johnny (intentionally or not, subtly or not) and the old tropes these two get shoved into makes it so I have trouble enjoying fics in the fandom.

I’m not saying it’s bad to enjoy certain tropes. I’m not saying headcanons are bad either. What I am saying is that writing is hard, but if you’re going to write fanfiction please have consideration for the characters you’re writing. The arcs of these two are complex and multilayered, which is why I think they have such staying power, but I also think they also provide a good opportunity for us as writers and artists to examine our biases when it comes to the portrayal of certain groups, personality types, mental illnesses, queerness, disability, etc. and maybe come out better people for it.

[silkjade]

i haven’t been here much recently, and i’m sorry i’ve only been negative on the off chance i’ve been online, but let me just say one last piece before the end of this month, so that maybe the next might be better….

[adhd-languages]

Please don’t compare yourself to my blog because I only mostly show the highlights. And just because I reblog something about studying languages doesn’t mean I’ve actually done much that day!

There’s nothing wrong with taking it slow and enjoying the language! We’re all here to learn because we want to. There’s no pressure to learn quickly. Learning a language is a lifelong journey, and there’s no rush to fluency. Whatever amount you’re doing, it’s okay and you’re welcome on this blog :-)

[alastyr-not-alastair]

Hhhungryyyyyyyyyyy

[connectedspace]

as fun as that was, and i would never stop doing fun gift art for the world

its disheartening, and hurts, to try and get engagement from people. to struggle to get asks for weeks. and i know im not the most active blogger, but as soon as i offer free art, i get swamped with asks. where is that beforehand? i dont know what to say entirely, it just makes me depressed. the fact that people are so quick to jump on my ask memes but wont talk to me or this blog otherwise. i dont know what to do

I don’t want to tell anyone that it’s bad to ask for it, or that it’s bad to receive it. Because that’s not what I’m trying to say. But it just sucks to get low engagement and people only interact with you to receive art, often without giving you anything in some way. It’s fine if it happens sometimes, but it’s exhausting when it’s repeated. It makes you feel like people only want you for free gifts that you put time and effort into but won’t give you the same effort

I guess I’d just like to encourage everyone to send regular asks to each other, even if it’s on anon. That’s all I’d want to see not even just for myself but mostly for others

[candyheartedchy]

Just want to thank everyone who’s been enduring my Spo.ngeBob fixation these past few days.

[pkmn-smashorpass]

Hey! So I’m new to being popular but I’m thinking of making a couple stickers (or something) with memes related to our blog.

Related to that I also want a new profile pic.

My current one is fanart and the artist gave me permission to use it on the condition that I don’t use the pic to make money (which is absolutely reasonable, I’m not arguing with that at all)

But if I make stickers or something I’d like to have the profile pic as an option. I think it could be fun to have a fanart competition and I pick a winner and use the pic.

BUT BUT BUT!!! Is this rude to artists? Cause I know I could pay someone to commission art and I feel like if I’m asking followers to make art for me then maybe I’m extorting you? but it could also be a great way to involve yall! I genuinely don’t know what to do here and I want to hear honest opinions.

Is it okay to do a fanart competition (of a Gardevoir) and use that to sell/ become new profile pic?

Or should I just find an artist and pay?

[eternal-reverie]

got the posting anxiety bad tonight

[banditblvd]

If I started posting art I make for different fandoms would anyone look at it or should I just keep drawing and giggling at it in that dark corner over there

[leopardom]

to post or not to post 🤔

[dashiellqvverty]

i try not to be too obnoxious about liking kids media but i will be honest my one thing that really gets on my nerves is when people compare shows like idk the owl house or whatever to shows like bluey or like talk about them as if they are similar. like yes i logically realize they are probably exaggerating in order to frame all cartoons as especially childish but it still makes me want to tear my hair out like do you know how wildly different the target demographics for these shows are!!! do you realize that preschool television is generally a whole different world from tv for older kids!!!!

[aka-indulgence]

Made another Bob Velseb drabble… thing. Idk why I was suddenly inspired, I just was > < It’s a lil thing where he comes to take care of you a little while you’re sick in the winter, while it’s snowing, late at night /w\ hehe

——

It’s snowing pretty hard out, and your bed is placed next to the windows. You’ve drawn the curtains, as if it was going to protect you from the chill outside. Huddled in your blankets, trying your best to force yourself to sleep, through the headache.

It’s pretty damn hard to do.

…

Especially when you hear some hard knocks on your apartment door. In this late night.

“Mmnerghhh,” you grumble, giving the doorway an irritated look. You are not getting up from your bed. Who was it anyway?

You tried not to let your mind run wild at whatever spooky monster had crawled its way to your door, from all the rumors you’ve heard around the town. Especially when an acquaintance you had couldn’t resist introducing you to the scariest ones when they found out you were a newcomer.

Thanks, Luna. You thought sarcastically to yourself, Real helpful for the newcomer who lives alone.

It’s probably nothing anyway. Though you struggle with a proper explanation, since.. you didn’t really know your neighbors.

Tried to ignore it.

… The knocks were back.

Fuuuck.

“Who??” You try your best to keep the irritation out of your voice, and physically cringe at how raspy your throat sounds. “Is it???”

Silence hangs for a moment. You’re about to start cursing, you didn’t have TIME for this, when a voice answers.

A familiar one.

“.... ‘s Bob.” His baritone voice answers.

It startles you to alertness, eyes opening wide, looking at the doorway. It’s a good thing you didn’t curse immediately, you would be very panicked right about now.

“O-oh, c… comingng!” You say, the ‘ng’ sounding stuffy. You had the problem of getting out of your bed… the heater was warm, sure, but it felt as if anything was cold when you were sick. Especially in winter… while it’s snowing…

You decided to try to walk barefooted towards the door, stepping over the carpet threshold onto the tiled floor.

Bad idea- you made a very unattractive yelp when your delicate foot touched the icy cold floor (probably not that cold if you weren’t sick, you note). You mumbled incoherently, putting your feet in your fluffy slippers and shuffling towards the door.

You have little brain-power, some of it going to the thoughts of What if he’s confronting me about giving him late notice on your absence? Maybe this is why he worked alone-

You don’t hesitate to open the door, however. You blink confusedly, looking at a wall of red before you remember right. Have to look up to look at his face, before doing just that. Bob is… looming over you a little bit, eyes narrowing as he looks at you. Puffy eyes, stuffy nose, blanket wrapped around you, making you look like a cloaked grandma.

The question that comes after a moment of silence surprises you with how warm with concern it was. “Are you ok?”

“Yes I am, don’t worry about me, just… cold.” You explain easily, “... I mean I’m cold, but I also have a cold… but it’s fine, I’ll… I’ll try to come to work tomorrow.”

… You shivered.

He looks unimpressed. Although… you aren’t sure how you’d read his expression, right now.

“... Let me in.”

It comes as an order, rather than a request.

You… you weren’t prepared for that, and all too quickly the word “Yes,” tumbles out of your mouth.

Bob opens the door wider. And maybe, if you had the clarity of mind, you’d start to feel pretty awkward, having invited your boss into your modest apartment while you were poorly, but. You didn’t have that right now, and simply hobbled back closer to the warmth of your heater, in your bedroom. Your boss(/friend????) walked in after you, his footsteps heavy.

“I’m sorry… ‘bout the late… message,” you muttered, “I don’t think it’d be good to work like this, and I didn’t have energy to talk it with you this morning and just passed out…”

Bob is silent as you try to explain yourself.

“.... Are you firing me?” You turned to look at him as you stand in the bedroom, your brain too headachey to think about how odd it was that you had this big man in your bedroom… not that you don’t trust him. Just, odd.

You don’t see the weird face he makes.

“No. You’re sick.”

Hm… why does he look so angry then? … no that’s a look of concern.

“I’m… mean not tuh be rude…” you say, as you feel your legs aching, sitting back on the bed. “Why’re you here, Bob?”

“To check on you,” he explains simply.

“Awh… that’s very nice of you,” you say, unintentionally interrupting something that he looked like he was about to say. “It’s not that bad, just-”

Itchy.

Ah.. ah…

“ACHOO!” you sneezed, quite violently in fact, that your whole body shaked and snot was dribbling down your nose. Wonderfull, (Y/n), you looked great in front of your boss. Curse this window right now… you could feel the chill when you bring your hand to it. You ungraciously feel around for the box of tissues beside your bed, and furiously wipe away your snot. The trash bin you’ve moved closer to your bed was almost full.

You look at Bob… then start shrinking into your blanket. You must look like garbage right now- not a look you wanted him to see.

“... Sorry.”

The man only shakes his head, asking “Have you eaten?”

“Mm… sure…” You nod your head at the yet-to-be-cleaned table just beside of him. Microwaved, ready to serve food, that.. didn’t taste very good. You needed something warm, something that tasted good even if your taste buds decided to take sick-leave.

It was not that.

“... Darlin’,” your brain doesn’t even process the nickname, “No.”

He looks at you disapprovingly. As if on cue, your stomach starts grumbling, and you shift uncomfortably in your bed.

“Was a good idea I came here, then…” He puts his hand in his coat pocket (he hadn’t taken it off)... producing a tupperware.

You sit up straighter.

“What’zat?”

“Stew.” He answers simply, then smiling secretively, adds “Beef stew.”

He smiles wider (but not eerily so!) when he sees how your eyes start to regain it’s sparkle, looking at it. Maybe you even start to drool when he opens it up, and the delicious scent starts wafting in the air.

“Whoa…” You wipe your mouth with sleeve. If he noticed it, he doesn’t mention it. “That smells heavenly… … did, did you make this for me?”

Bob chuckles, that warm chuckle that made you feel… something, when he did. “Yeah. Can’t have my only waitress sick… need her back as soon as possible, hm?”

Your cheeks warmed, at the idea of mm, stew, and that Bob was being such a sweetheart. You thank him, as you take the stew into your hands (wonderfully warm… wonderfully fragrant…), dipping the spoon he’d so kindly offered you to taste.

“Fuck… this is so good!” you moan a little at the taste, “Burger isn’t the only thing you’re good at, huh?”

“It’s… anything with meat, really,” his eyes cast to the side, eyes giddy about… something. He takes off his coat, revealing more of his signature red sweater, putting it on a clothes hanger, and… you notice, as you slurp your soup, the snow starting to melt off it. You open your mouth to mention it, the winds howling out the window, but it’s Bob that talks first.

“I can make other stuff too, if you’d like…”

“Oh, would I!”

—————

Bob was happy to see the color flooding your cheeks again, (he always enjoyed watching blood rushing…) and you looked less miserable while he talked with you. You shivered less, too. Eventually you went quiet, and it took a while before he noticed that you’d fallen asleep, head on your pillow.

Eyes softening, he pulled a blanket over you. By the stars, he thought you looked cute. Your cheeks were slightly pink, even if your nose was redder. You were snoring very quietly that it sounded cute. He chuckles to himself, pulling the blanket up over you, tucking you in.

He wouldn’t have pegged himself for a guy who liked… soft things. Sure he… liked soft meat, but he also found out he liked soft bodies. Soft, warm bodies. Body.

This one.

He lets his hand reach for your cheek, running the back of his finger up and down your cheek. Such delicate skin… so warm. Perhaps that was a slight fever, but it felt nice to touch in the chill.

It’d be laughably easy to break it. … but he doesn’t let his claws scratch you up. And he doesn’t even think about the knives he has on his belt.

Never this one. He thinks to himself. This one’s mine.

He stands up, wondering to himself if he could just… settle into your bed and wrap himself around you, but thinks better of it. Let her rest. He should probably leave now.

… But.

The snow wasn’t letting up soon.

And his house was a bit far away.

And the chair looks mighty comfy, right about now.

He could leave, but then your door would be unlocked and the thoughts of someone else bad that could walk in here puts a bad taste on his tongue, like bad meat. And he definitely isn’t willing to wake up the sleeping little thing in front of him…

So to the chair he goes. It creaks under his weight, grunting as he settles into it. He closes his eyes for a moment, before opening one, to look at you again.

… Yeah. This was much nicer than having to go home alone, where there wasn’t any adorable little things to look at.