#{ by being one. i'm !!! so heated !!! }
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Wait, hot humid weather can trigger POTS??? That would explain SO much...
Yeah, heat and humidity are major triggers for a lot of people. It's why showers and baths can take up so much energy.
Are none of y'alls doctors telling you heat is a trigger? If not, then standards have gotten worse because that used to be a basic "welcome to POTS 101" type thing.
#I'm asking in all sincerity#because I have gotten so many messages about people being confused that no one told them heat is a trigger
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Why do I keep seeing transmascs and trans men insisting or implying that all trans men are "female socialized," or "understand the female experience," or "navigated the world as a woman." Because yeah, sure, that can be true for some people. especially if you weren't gnc at all as a kid and didn't crack your egg until well into adulthood, it makes sense.
But they don't stop at saying they had that experience. It always comes with an addendum that trans men, as a group, all can relate to this experience. I don't know about the entirety of my demographic, but I never got even a little bit of what some of them talk about. I didn't even believe that women were scared of going out at night until I kept consistently seeing them say it, online or wherever, for years. I never realized catcalling was a thing until I saw some women complaining about it on reddit.
But they posit it as some sort of, you're safer than cis men, right? You know what it's like? Which, on top of being patently, demonstrably false in the case of myself and many other trans men, holds some unpleasant and often outright hostile implications about trans women. And they always deny it, but if you can't even conceptualize someone like me who grew up gnc, and never got the bulk (or any?) of whatever we consider to be 'female socialization,' what does that say about what you think trans girls went through, growing up? I don't want to speak for them, as I've never experienced that firsthand, but I can guarantee that (if you're even a little bit obviously trans) people don't treat you like a cis kid of the opposite gender. By and large, they don't get treated like cis boys.
It just makes me mad that we're taking this inaccurate framework that (ever so conveniently) puts trans people into the box of our assumed birth gender, and trying to fancy it up and use it with a faux-progressive veneer; never mind the way that transphobes use it to bar trans women from being athletes, or using the bathroom, or having access to any gendered resources they need. It would be bad enough to try and dust it off and use it even if it were largely accurate, due to the aforementioned connections to outright transphobia, but it literally is patently false. Not in all cases, obviously, but why are we trying to revamp this untrue, inaccurate generalization and pretend that we can make it 'trans-inclusive?'
#o.#trans#transphobia#transmisogyny#I may or may not be talking about a specific post I saw that made me irritated but I didnt wanna get in an argument with internet strangers#sorry guys I'm still heated over freaking collin allred capitulating to ted cruz and throwing trans girls under the bus bc he didnt have the#guts to stick to his morals#and called them ''this idiotic business with boys in girls sports'' or some crap#as if trans girls don't deserve to play the sports they love. like I imagine if they blocked trans men from being physicists or something#and I just wasn't able to pursue the career I want? that would destroy me#and I still had to vote for him because the other options were ted cruz and some freaking libertarian.#sorry thats all tangential but can we not use the same rhetoric that all these politicians do as an excuse to kick trans women out of public#life PLEASE 🙏#...also I really hate the Popular Transmasc Ideology that says that we all experience life as basically the same as a cis woman & never have#to navigate having male privilege & being an ally to women#and all have some sort of Innate Connection to femaleness or womanhood or whatever bc 'obviously' we all grew up just like girls do#ugh#this one's going out there sans editing so dont yell at me if I worded smth weird please 🙏
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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FAMINE: That's one deep, dark nothing you've got there, Dean.
[youtube with closed captions]
dean and his father. dean and his family. dean and how bad it is.
(via @closetoyou1970)
#spn#vid#mind the warnings on this one for real#woe! fruit of my rewatch be upon ye.#pallas calls this my 'deangirl coming out vid' which honestly. true. but those who paid attention know i've always been a deangirl.#also. after this no more deanwinchester rilo kiley amvs I Pwomise#anyway. i'm not gonna give a full commentary here but a big reason why i chose this song is that the narrator#is essentially dismissing her own problems and instead watching the problems of someone else#and i kind of wanted to play with that theme. this is the parallels show so let's do some parallels. lots of things happen to characters#that are Like Dean somehow. either in personality or circumstance. that we know or can infer happen to him. but we don't see it bc it's#not sayable. not speakable. so like for an easy one. we see meg being tortured in caged heat. she also talks about apprenticing under#alastair just like dean. so i show her being tortured [in a way that is sexualized and demon-specific] and reacting how she does#because i invite the audience to imagine or interpret that this has also happened to dean at some point. we just don't see it#so there are many dean parallels in this video. some obvious. some subtle but textual. some products of my twisted mind. but that's the way#i am using them to make my argument.#oh also: dean voice sam's eyes going black is JUST like when he used to fight with dad and wouldn't listen to me when i told him not to.#i guess also the point is that because it's unsayable. dean can't say it. dean can't even acknowledge it. and so it bleeds through#into everything in his life#that's why it's important that the song narrator doesn't take her own problems seriously. dean doesn't either.
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22 more images (with some saucy shenanigans and immature "seduction" tactics towards the end) below the cut:
Ryuk makes his grand return and is brought up to speed with Light and L's immoral union. The date seems pretty successful~.
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#drawn by me#my fanart#my fancomic#Death Note#The Chain#lawlight#Light Yagami#L#Ryuk#smooch#saucy shenanigans#suggestive dialogue#Ryuk third-wheeling~#L meets Light's quirky-deadly roommate#henh not much to say about this one. basically a continuation of the previous entry despite the absurd update gap.#I've lost the ability to keep anything brief anymore~#L seems a bit out of character with his willingness to go with the plan huh? And don't you think he'd have gotten used to Light's teasing b#now? Maybe it hits a little different knowing for a fact that it's coming from Kira's mouth directed towards him of all people~#Also the picture where Ryuk is saying he'll scram when things get heated is probably my favorite drawing of him that I've done!#he was so intimidating to draw especially over and over in comic form. such a far cry from my usual human style#but like all things I gradually became more and more comfortable drawing him. I'm very happy about that! :)#I have a dumb idea/headcanon concerning the nerds' first copulation attempt~.#if I decide to include it here I will definitely try to age restrict it even though it won't necessarily be graphic.#don't wanna get in trouble lol#I have more trouble drawing spicy scenes than I do with shinigami subjects XD#tw: food issues#they both eat the sketchy 'apple' to prove they're not cowards... despite it not being the smartest idea in the world. >_>
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When you moved into a big cold castle and the only sources of heat are your insane new coworkers
#UTDR#UTMV#Bad Sanses#I imagine of the main three Horror would feel the cold more#Since the other two have a lot of lvl coursing through them to keep them warm#And Nightmare is probably pretty insulated by the corruption#I know they all come from a snowy town and probably don't feel temperature but I'm being silly and having fun so#Also Nightmare does eventually catch on and get them a supply of blankets for when it gets colder#Horror still sometimes holds one of them against him like a heating pad tho. Just for fun
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realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.
... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.
#idk if ill ever open up completely about that shitshow but#i think 8 years is past the statute of limitations to vaguepost about it#late tag addition but man now i'm thinking about it all at 4am#how did in the good goddamn did i witness that and still not only let them make me an officer#but also let them put me functionally in charge of their guild IC#while those two fucked off and erped in instanced zones or played overwatch#and i and my then-rp-partner took the heat for the meandering plotline#until my partner vented to the wrong person about the abuse#and it got back to them#and we got to experience the surreality of an honest to god guild coup#all to salvage the image of some egomaniac abuser#certified fucking wra moment#its been 8 years and thinking about how i was treated in the end makes me feel sick lol#they made a new guild discord and invited everyone but us#and when i noticed the channel had gone quiet i asked what was up#and was met with gaslighting about how i'm 'thinking too much' about the channel being a 'little slow'#and it took pushing to get an early admission of what was about to happen#so we logged on and quit ourselves#which fucked up the narrative they had constructed#and they lied in the new channel that WE were the ones doing a 'coup' and that we stole the members who left with us#i guess i am opening up after all#i had to play the fucking villain of that scenario for the past 8 years#all to protect the mental health of people who hurt me#why#if you were there and know what i'm referencing with all of this... there's the fucking story#the person in question is a massively popular artist#i just dont have it in me to fight that fight
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Do you think Edelgard perceives herself as a victim? I’ve been thinking and I can’t decide myself, on one hand she clearly hates the idea of people being victims or helpless, and constantly reframes the victims of the war as “necessary sacrifices” instead of, y’know, tragic causalities of a war she started. She plays up her sad backstory to try to get Byleth to join with her in WC, but then she does all these things to concentrate as much power as possible on herself. On the other (other) hand, she pushes the culpability of the war on everyone except herself, and has trouble taking accountability. She’s obsessed with controlling everything but she doesn’t want to be blamed for the problems she’s created. What do you think?
Oh!
(sorry for replying one literal month later lol)
I find Supreme Leader hard to write because of this, but in a way, I believe that yes, she does.
However, for all the flak Faerghus gets for "ToXiC mAsCuLiNiTy" and "Chivalry BaD", there's something very toxic with the way some Adrestian victims (often women... blame the writers I guess?) deal with their abuse.
I'm not going to spend a lot of time on Doro because I already typed a lot about her, but while she still sees herself as a victim from what she endured and suffered in her childhood, she adopted the toxic mindset of "this suffering is a thing of the past and I grew from that/beyond that to become the person I am now" - which we can also see in Manu who suffered from, roughly, the same traumas.
Petra also follows this pattern, being a hostage and treated like shit, but she grow "beyond" her status of a victim to become the strong person she projects and believes she is - it's only out of House that she realises more accutely her status within the Empire, the reality of her situation and, in Houses, refuses vassalage to Adrestia to make her country independent without having to "ask the Emperor".
It's the same pattern : "I was a victim" but "I became strong" so "I am not a victim anymore, this is something of the past".
Applied to Supreme Leader...
Well, trying to ignore the Agarthans and her dad's own infuence on her character (which is kind of hard, since the games try their hardest to make Agarthans responsible for everything BaD and we're not clear on how much they had an influence on her), I think Supreme Leader believes she was a "victim" of abuse.
But - through further abuse and surviving said abuse - she became strong* enough to "not be a victim anymore".
Which is why her line of "if the weak remain weak it's their fault" feels like it echoes part of her mindset : she was a victim but became strong enough, maybe by hardening her own feelings to become "strong", so she is not the same helpless "victim" she once was.
If she managed to do that, then everyone can do the same.
As for the "necessary sacrifices", since early 2019 someone theorised that "the people" she pretends the fight for as seen as some general "concept", much like the "greater good". So if some people are sacrificed, it's for her ideals - the goal and aim of her newfound strength - , and it piles on her drive, she must realise them otherwise those people would have died (and she would have suffered) for nothing.
However, despite acknowledging her past self as a victim, and because she's now "strong", she's not above using her past trauma (but actually, still present! Remember the rat scene?) to reach her goals, because, at her core, Supreme Leader is soemone who is very determined. Maybe it's her only drive to grow beyond the trauma, or her own illusions, or a mix of everything, but AM made it clear, Supreme Leader is not above, well, using herself if it means seeing her goals come to fruition : unlike Lobotogard from AG, AM!Supreme Leader willingly transforms in Hegemongard.
This is the cost she's willing to pay, so while the memes about Lord Farqaad were on spot, I still think that Supreme Leader is ultimately willing to sacrifice** herself for her goal (but only when there's no other way to ensure her future will come to fruition, and in a way, I guess she thought she would survive the Hegemon transformation, jury's out on what she meant to do in AM's finale, but imo, she still tried, even beaten and battered as she was, to claim Dimi's head).
Ultimately I think everything's a bit muddled by the fact that, as @fantasyinvader pointed out, Supreme Leader is a liar and knows the importance of maintening good PR.
She lies and manipulates the truth to reach her goals (which again, is a red flag when CF claims to want to restore the "distorted history" of Fodlan!) and for all the flak I give them, the devs managed to scrap enough material to give us a peek in Adrestia's mindset (or at least its top nobles), they're not people who self reflect, they are salty because they aren't ruling the world anymore, and they feel like they are better than the rest of Fodlan.
Put everything in the mixer, and you indeed have Supreme Leader (but also her court, especially Ferdie in SB who dares to say, as he is invading and trouncing people who don't really like and accept the idea of being invaded, that the fear those people feel are only in their mind, or something like that? Like, dude, you're rolling over their people and country, of course they'll fear and hate you!) giving her weird rhetoric lines (why are people opposing me if they are going to die?), victim blaming (something Treehouse swallowed like honey, if their lolcalisation is anything to go by, remember, it's Rhea's fault for not offering her head on a platter that is the reason why the War continues in CF!) and so on.
IDK if the devs wanted to bank that much on the Dany parallel with her "if I look back i am lost", but again, I don't know if her drive to make a "better Fodlan" is motivated by her trauma, Adrestian revanchism, Ionius telling her dumb things or Agarthans agarthaning, but her goal and vision are everything to Supreme Leader.
So she will do anythign to see them realised, even if it means sacrificing her people, starting a war, tweaking "the truth" or using her own trauma to motivate and recruit powerful people who might assist her with her goals.
To reply to your question, IMO she sees herself as someone who had once been a victim, but won't let that stop her from reaching her goals, even if it means creating thousands of "hers" in the process, because, in her mind, reaching her goal is more important than anything else.
*I know, she refutes Dimitri's claim that she is "strong" or laughs at it, but imo, it was more in the sense of "I was weak and became strong" so everyone can "become" strong.
**I don't think she wanted to throw away her life, but more something in the lines of "putting my life on the line" or sacrificing her precious (and to see how precious it is, just play CF lol) humanity.
#mgphotogirl#replies#the way the games are written no one truly holds her accountable for the war and the WC events#the parley scene tries but then it forgets everything to talk about visions and whatnot#without even going in the 'your allies framed Dedue's people for something they never did and you are using demonic beast for fuck's sake'#territory like seriously it's so mild#Being in an UO mindset now I'm still baffled at how Alain at least delivers some venom and hatred to the guy who#trampled over the continent and doesn't deserve to him to be called its king#even if he puts his hatred aside to purify and offer him salvation#but in Fodlan? there's no hatred or feelings about the war or the WC events#I mean you could believe they're arguing about what dish should be cooked for a birthday#or they're in a heated philosophy class#This verse's pathological need to make sure she's never held accountable for her actions#bled in FEH and in even in FE17 :(#Imo Supreme Leader could have been a fascinating character#if only they dialed back on the uwu and teasets prospects#and i say that not only because we would still have fans going all 'arvis did nothing wrong as he cooked his younger brother on a low flame#for Supreme Leader but because the 'driven by their convictions to the point of abandoning why they wanted to do X in the first place'#for a female character in the FE franchise would really have been progressive in the 'yes women too can be red emperors'#fodlan nonsense#tbh going from Hegemongard in AM to AG's Lobotogard really hurts#but as a certain youtuber said#Lobotogard was designed with a certain bait in mind#and I'm pretty sure it was the only way to get some unconclusive 'everyone survives ending' without slaughtering Dimi or Supreme Leader#characters at least
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Hey y'all! I didn't get many requests for particular pride flags or pride plushies this pride month, but I did get a few requests for an intersex pride something. The intersex pride flag (like a few other flags) is more difficult for me to make, because a symbol is harder to incorporate into an oddly-shaped plushie than just stripes, and the circle will have to be* appliqued by hand so I'd prefer to limit the number of circles. So far, I have three ideas: 1. one of my pride bees (a very round bee consisting of three stripes) that's yellow with a purple stripe in the middle. There wouldn't be a flat ring, but the stripe would kind of form a ring? 2. a yellow dog plushie with a purple ring around its eye like the dog from Little Rascals. Idk how well known that dog is anymore or if it would be recognizable, but it's a one-applique option? I could also include purple patches on the back that are not rings, like the dog's markings in the show (in the movie? to be honest, I just remember the ring around the dog's eye) 3. a blue ringed octopus but the rings are purple. I think this would be awesome but I don't want to applique that many rings by hand and haven't found a fabric with the rings at quite the right scale and density for this project, so this is probably a longer-term one but I do want to make it eventually Do y'all have opinions on any of these, or any other ideas? For intersex pride plushies or for other pride plushies, I've had some work and some family things come up this month that mean I have not gotten as much sewing done this month as I wanted to, and I do love making pride plushies and would love more suggestions *yes, there are a few other ways I could possibly do that, but functionally with the way I make things it'd be by hand
#the person behind the yarn#the air conditioner being mostly broken has really taken a toll on me physically#before anyone chimes in with advice on how to beat the heat: thanks! but I am not looking for advice#I grew up in one very hot climate and moved to one that's only very hot during the summer#I know how to stay cool I just have health issues that make me very very sensitive to heat#I'm on meds for them I have strategies for managing it but nothing I can do will make me anywhere near as heat tolerant#as someone without health issues#I mean I guess the good news is I will probably never get true heat exhaustion because my symptoms are so dramatic#at such a low threshold I'd definitely go inside long before that point#(by dramatic I mean my blood pressure gets low and my heartrate gets high and if I get too hot I could faint)#(not at like. actually doing any damage to me levels of heat. my body just really likes to drop my blood pressure and takes any excuse)
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I thought that these inner sections of a pomelo peel thing kind of looked like flower petals with their coloring, so I left them out to dry for a few days, and then glued some of them together to make little "flowers" to hang in my window.
#crafts#I like the see-through ness of them and the color gradient. And pomelos are one of the foods to me that are very fun to disassemble#(like how I enjoy peeling carrots. or cutting cabbage. etc.) I don't actually eat citrus that much but some of the people I know#and live with do. so I'll always volunteer to cut stuff up or peel fruits if I'm over at someone's house or etc#I am.. the Food Prepper .. lol.. I could never be a chef due to the stress and the Hot of a kitchen and me being so heat sensitive#but in a broader sense I love doing little menial tasks like that. especially if there's some element of like 'try and get the sections all#cut as evenly and neatly as possible'.. sitting there like ..ouuu.. a challenge.. i will cut this onion into the thinnest slices known to#man.. this is now my quest and my destiny... etc. gjhbhj#ANYWAY... though I originally wanted to kind of sew them together with string so there wasn't glue visible or anything#I ended up having to glue them for them to hold their positions properly#So it looks weird because they're so trasnparent that you can kind of see the glue lines at some angles... but alas#still nice when the light shines through them
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Spoiling for a fight, spoiled for choice (Patreon)
#Doodles#Damned#Osmosis Jones#Ozzy#Thrax#Starting to move into random vignettes - let's see where I can slot them into place#Starting with pouting Thrax - petulance hardly suits a serial killer pls#He hasn't killed Anyone here yet ugh! Or has he lol he just wasn't happy with how it turned out#I assume a lot happened during Nightshifts but it seemed like the monsters tended to band patients together despite alignment hmm#Not that I'm planning anything different but it does make me curious!#Scribbly Thrax to set up the one of him threatening Oz#What's funny is that initially it was Drix who threw down the gauntlet basically being like ''He can't do anything here''#Drix I hate to tell you this but Yes He Can - and it's still Oz that takes the heat for it haha#Drix is not someone you want to mess with for simultaneously opposite reasons lol - he's a dorky tank it's pretty great#Although here he's just a mild-mannered Everyman - fun to take powers away!#Which of course happens to everyone haha#He can't keep any of his accessories! Naked without them!#One of the things I was the most curious about was piercings! I imagine most ear piercings could stay but others#They could be used as impromptu weapons couldn't they? Curious#Everyone's actual clothes and accessories are taken anyway so The Rest is a moot point but y'know - coping with alternatives#It's black yarn this time you can't prove anything lol#Thrax is constantly messing with his hypothalamus necklace so I imagine not having /anything/ has to feel weird to him#But of course he wouldn't be allowed to carry something that he could use against others with him! Too dangerous!#Haha if only#Really makes me want to think about his possible MU - his hand is already scarred so what's a bit more hmmm
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Finally finished my weird hanging painting thing (originally a secondhand partially-done 'paint by numbers' kit that I found at a thrift store and kept to repurpose lol)! Imagery somewhat based in my own worldbuilding projects, and text written in my constructed language for one of my fantasy species, but also vaguely inspired by old tapestries and illuminated manuscripts and etc. I've never been great at neat clean patterning or text, but it looks cool from afar, and I always enjoy making "props" or things that are somewhat like real objects that might could exist in my world. :0
(additional pictures/info under the readmore)
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Here's what it was originally! I probably didn't have to actually have a river running down the middle because it further makes the composition of the whole thing weird (various connected yet separate locations and things happening, instead of one unified event being portrayed), but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to fully cover up the already existing paint that was there.. and I can also kind of justify it by going with a more "all the imagery is just symbolic so it doesn't have to make exact sense" approach lol.. How is one half of the grass green and the other is suddenly snowy? shhhh.. it's not literal.. shhh...
Made a vague sketch, then painted over it, and then added more distinct lines in black pen. Center image first and border second.
The very last thing was the text, which actually took forever to translate because my conlang is still only like.. partially done, and some of the grammar is not worked out exactly how I would like it to be, so a few sentences I had to think about for a long time before just going "eh, this is probably not how I would do it if I considered it more, but I'll go with it for now" lol . I also am not entirely satisfied with all of the characters for the writing system, but again, it's good enough for a quick project, it doesn't have to be 100% accurate and perfect because it's a fake language that nobody knows anyway lol.
I thought about breaking down the text and translation here like I have for some of the tidbits of Avirrekava (the language) in things I've posted in the past, but I think it would take too long and is not interesting to anyone but me ghghj, so for the sake of getting the post out quickly, I shall not spend an hour typing All That lol.
The general jist of the writing though is that it's just about the Avirre'thel being cast out from the other elves, after abandoning their magic for immortality as a means to truly attain perfection (an important concept in elven culture), the usual, blah blah blah, but how it's Actually A Good Thing, because the gods are wrong and immortality is Cool actually and they like the shitty frozen lands they were sent to, so it's fine that everyone else is being a Hater about it lol
Lastly, here's a few photos outside in the sun to TRY and show the gold detailing actually shimmering or showing up! It really doesn't come through in photos, but there's plenty of little golden spots to highlight light or Importance.
Mostly the fire, the pink sparkle that represents magic, the red drop that represents blood, the light behind Inaashi's hands and head (common symbol for the elven religion/one of their main gods, shout out to anyone who read the ancient elven religion post and recognized that lol), the sun, and the symbol for the Avirre'thel/country of Navyete at the very top. I did a few other gold bits, but they're not highlighted because they're Significant, more just that it looked more symmetrical to have some gold on the border too lol.
Other things of note: The animals are not actually significant to Avirre'thel culture really, I just wanted to put a cat and a bird because I like them lol. (I also wanted to have a few funny looking creatures, as I was slightly trying to go with the 'in some old medieval painting the anatomy and perspective is very weird' vibe, though I think some of the other parts of it look too Normal to pull it off entirely). Same with the four leaf clover, which means nothing in their culture - but these are the only areas where stuff was just added self-indulgently .
Bligabata (giant cabbage that grows along rivers in Navyete) making an appearance! The architecture of the building IS based on actual concepts for ancient elven/older Avirre'thel architecture and metalwork. The Avirre'thel who's turning away from Inaashi/elves/magic and collecting blood, is doing so in a Special Bowl, as is part of their culture (collecting it in the hands, or just in a normal vessel would be disrespectful, they have Specific Bowls which is the only thing blood can be kept in, etc.).
The figure that represents Jhevona (and thus, a closer connection to magic, celestial imagery, etc.) is in weird ugly teal, which is not necessarily a color or design associated with them, as I don't have much common culture (like clothing) worked out for Northern Jhevona (who the avirre'thel would have come into contact with) yet, BUT everyone else is in more Typical colors (a northern elf in green, Inaashi in lavender + white + blue, an Avirre'thel in darker purples and reds).
Some things, like the four figures in the corners, and the two people + fish in the stream, do not currently have a meaning, but in-world they would.. Like, I could make up lore for how they're culturally significant and it would be true because I am god of the world, but I don't have anything currently. But just know.. they DO mean something, I just haven't decided it yet, maybe kind of fill in as I go, come up with a meaning later lol. Probably along the lines of an old myth from the ancient elven religion, a story, etc.
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I don't know, probably other stuff, but that's my Trying To Keep It Short rambling for now lol. I'm just glad I finally finished this! For how vaguely sloppy it is up close (everything being completely freehanded, only used rulers once when doing the initial sketch and lining where the border should be + my hands are shaky + the canvas is bumpy + my handwriting is scratchy and terrible + etc. etc.) it still took a REALLY long time, even when not trying to make it all perfect. Especially if including the text translation + writing, which took like 3+ hours itself.
Maybe all the asymmetry/lack of things being centered is NOT because I was too lazy to measure anything, but is actually because in-universe, it's a practice illustration made by some young apprentice who has to work on little canvases for years before he can be trusted will a full sized mural or tapestry. It's his first week on the job! of course he's uncoordinated! don't laugh at him!!! lol
#worldbuilding#elves#I AM WORKING ON A NEW PAVENTURE POST also !!!! I know I keep being like 'oh I'm going to get back to that! I'll stick to it this time!!'#and then another whole month goes by without me posting a new poll adventure - however - this time I DID fully intend to so#*do another one soon but my beloved beautiful perfect cat unfortunately passed away AND there was a heat#wave ANd I felt sick for a while for unrelated reasons so I just genuinely was not focused on posting online at all#I am trying to get back to it though along with other things hopefully so.#ANYWAY#avirre'thel#irithoas#maybe???? not super relevant to elves but I'll keep it intheir tag anyway also. Just since their lore is so closely tied with avirre'thel s#stuff and they're mentioned in the post. Or the gods are. Inaashi is.#OIGUGUGUGUHH I should have done a tapestry with the FCJhjkING triplets!!!!! Sehalanora Semoniyare and the other one whatever the hell#his name is. ... sehalanora my beloved .. (I'm referencing the ancient elven gods - for those who dont know)#It's funny that I rarely watch tv shows and when I do I rarely if EVER care about characters at all in any capacity#with maybe like a handful of even then extremely minor exceptions so I cannot relate to the concept of like 'having a blorbo' or whatever#but then for my extremely niche worldbuilding content#.. it's like OMG MY FAVORITE character!!! my favorite obscure god from a religion#that I entirely made up myself for a cultural group that I also made up that literally only I and maybe like two other#people who are able to sit through my novel long dry and wordy worldbuilding posts care about!! you all know them DUH!!#even WITHIN modern elven culture in the world at the moment in current day most people do not give a shit about them hghj#BUT .. I should have made a painting of the siblings actually!!! I stand by that!!#I mean I like Inaashi and Nisateyu and everything too. Actually all of them are fine except for Ea'ivuyera I guess. whoever the#like War and Order bootlicker god is basically. and the Evil dumbass one. but all the others are fine. I'm suprised I'm even able to rememb#that many ancient elven goofily long names ghgh.. But I could have maybe made it about the elven gods#The thing is just that.. i Don't have ancient elvish worked out as a language and I knew I wanted to put text on it#so it kind of HAD to be something written/drawn by the Avirre'thel#Knwoledge of the ancient elven gods is still a thing in their culture. But usually more as a joke or just a common fairytale knowledge#sort of thing. not really something to make a painting of. Inaashi is here less because of Inaashi The God being genuinely significant and#and more just she's there to Symbolize the elven religion as a whole. just like all the other figures are mere symbols of things. etc.
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Ok im Very sleepy rn it's 2 am bare with me
What do we think Jon would think of How The fandom sees him? And I don't mean this in a pedantic "oh fandom bad because dumbed down and Insert Petty Headcanon Disagreement"
I mean this entirely in a "How would Jon, The man who believes himself to be an Irredeemable monster who is to blame for everything that ever went wrong, react to Just so so many people listening to his shortcommings and ultimately seeing his side"
Like yeah everyone agrees he's kind of an asshole sometimes but he is so beloved by The fans?
I'm sure some people did but I've never seen anyone doubting his humanity or blaming him for the horrors™ he Just clearly understood as his fault? Like yeah Martin tried telling him it wasn't but what I'm getting at is
I love to think about what Jon would do If he saw just the ocean of people who listened to (what he considers to be)
the most unsympathetic person in the world becoming a monster and making choices that brought the literal apocalypse upon humanity
and pretty much everyone saying "he did the best anyone could reasonably expect and he is not a bad person for being caught in the crossfire of an impossible situation with no good solutions"
remember that time in mag 187 a lady grabbed jon in fear and he shouted and presumably pushed her away? and everyone and their mother defended jon's humanity because that was a textbook trauma response i think he would break down crying if he saw that
#this was brought to you by my sleep deprived brain#im just im like just#everyone is always mad at him for not taking enought initiative or sulking or making decisions for others#and i love him so much#he is probably the character that makes me the most un-normal he is Masterfully written#And he hates himself so much and so many people in podcast feed his insecurities back to him#It makes sense they're all hurt and he doesn't always make the best decisions.#there's nothing he can do to make it right enought by other people#and everyone thinks he is doing a bad job at being an unwilling participant of this fucked up power system#again it makes SENSE they didn't ask for that either and jon is the mascot of the eye#he is both a scapegoat and a sacrificial lamb#if jonah that crusty old man ever did anything truky smart it was making jon eldritch middle management#like yeah everyone hates him more but most of the time he is untouchable so jon tajes all the heat#wich helps isolating him more and making it easier to manipulate him#everyone praised or at least had some resigned respect for gertrude and her actions. but that's because she is almost imaginary to them#the characters obsviously don't enjoy being in the middle of this either and jon is the only one with some form of real power there#(that's more or less on their side at least)#ough#yeaouh#nnahoughh even#we we criticize jon from time to time#but i really love that most people are willing to fight tooth and nail to defend him#he is just such a human character and despiste everything that happens he is so very clearly just a person who is trying#the character ever#all I'm saying is i would like to know how jon would react to not one not two#but thousands of people who are able to see him and understand he shouldn't to be a perfect victim#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims
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Having ADHD but only having it just enough to get the like 2 symptoms left out of every conversation about ADHD fills me with an apathy that has no practical solution. Rolling up to the ADHD conversation like "Some days I can't focus and everything pisses me off and the best I can do is lay on the floor with music on and scowl at the ceiling until it stops because if I don't then I'll be mean to other people because I have no patience when I get like that" just makes everyone side-eye you because they immediately jump to the conclusion that you want to commit unspeakable acts of violence.
But a lot of people don't know that this is something people with ADHD can experience. The only time I ever see it mentioned is when I go out of my way to find research on it...
#textpost#I'm actually in a really good mood right now and had a really good day but I've been thinking about this for a while#Like I've been to a behavioral specialist this IS ADHD albeit a milder form of it but NO ONE ever talks about the Grumpy Threshold™️-#-in conversations about ADHD. It's always about how it makes people loud and easily excitable#Which are also symptoms of ADHD and I recognize that those symptoms are significantly more common than the main ones I experience#But it would be nice if there was more awareness about the cranky side of it lol#It doesn't make me physically violent or an absolute asshole it's just like being annoyed by everything cranked up to 11#Turbo grumpy. Low heat simmering frustration#Wellbutrin's helped a lot and I've figured out most of the things that causes it so I can avoid them#(shrill sounds/voices and ASMR are two big ones. *Especially* ASMR)#But some days I wake up and my brain chooses anger and there's nothing I can do about it besides ride it out rofl#Anyway thank you for coming to my TED Talk I have to go to sleep now good night
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I improved my morning alarm
#It was just Heat of the Moment#but *now* it's Heat of the Moment + Dean#and I now will let it go off *solely* so I can fill in the dialogue as Sam XD#If I don't have it memorized after spending almost 40 minutes editing this together I'll be thoroughly dissapointed#If I wake up and its Tuesday again I'll be frusterated but also *religiously* hunting for Gabriel#I bet he was one of the guys who came into the pet store today#sorry I'm getting ahead of myself there lol#WAIT#nononono what if he's my boss#hear me out#ok so I was complaining about not being able to be a hunter because 90% of monsters don't even exist in this world#THE NEXT DAY I have my first shift at the pet store#and let me tell you: that place is HAUNTED#flickering lights; weird sounds; cold spots; objects moving on their own. All of it.#This might be a little crazy but if Gabriel was going to be impersonating *somebody* in my life rn it would be my boss#and if I wake up in a time loop then I already figured it out. I win. And if that's the case: I bet the haunting is fake#If I don't wake up in a time loop I'm actually going to be more disappointed than if I do#I want an excuse to be able to tell my mom “yesterday was tuesday right? but today is tuesday too”#and then she's going to tell me I'm lying so after enough loops I'm just going to start saying all the same words as her at the same time#ohmygod and that would be SUCH a Gabriel thing to do actually#ok so my mom is a Sam Girl and I'm a Dean Girl so having us in the oposite characters' situations would be really funny#especially because I *really* don't like Sam that much#Guys trust if Gabriel was real he'd have a golden opportunity sitting at his feet right now#omg I love this#idle speaks#supernatural#spn#spn gabriel#dean winchester#sam winchester
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i think it's time to take a page from the james flint gay agenda manifesto; stop trying to convince people that the queers are not a danger to society, and become a menace to civilisation instead. the real queer agenda should be to overthrow any and all social systems. work in tandem with other marginalised groups and set heteropatriarchy on fire. become ungovernable, ignore social norms, uplift new voices. assimilation should not have ever been the goal. queer people are different. difference is good. the real enemy is conformity. conformity is responsible for every man made horror in history. war, poverty, hate crimes, slavery, genocide, they are all made possible by the existence and desirability of a status quo. remove the desirability of normalcy and you remove the foundation for all systems of suffering. systems work because a majority of people have decided it was in their best interest to uphold them. but is it really? remove the desirability of normalcy and you have no grounds for competition. keep quiet out of fear that the system will decide you are abnormal next, and you are making sure it will. fuck civilisation, fuck normalcy, fuck the status quo.
#rain posts#sorry watching black sails has enraged me#seeing gay people and women become outwardly transphobic#because they've convinced themselves that trans people are the problem#because they're so scared of society turning on them/relieved that the heat is off them for once#that they'll do anything to keep their spot on the normal people hall of fame#is so fucking heartbreaking#you fucking idiots are only succeeding in making sure that people remain categorised#that a hierarchy perseveres between normal and abnormal people#that inequality remains the foundation for civilisation#if you are anything other than a cis gendered heterosexual wealthy abled white western man#then society is not and will never be your friend#it's so fucking baffling that such a small group of people has managed to create an atmosphere of fear worldwide#where instead of saying fuck that we've all decided that we needed to find any resemblance we have to that tiny group of people#(being white or cis or male or straight etc)#and beg to be included based on that one similarity#i'm so fucking tired of normalcy i'm so fucking tired of quiet acceptance#be fucking weird. be appreciative of other people's weirdness. refuse to put anyone into categories#categories lead to classification and hierarchy#the most powerful weapon we have is non conformity#we all possess it. so fucking use it.#and at the very least (if you're scared for yourself) make sure other people's right to non conformity is protected and uplifted
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