#sorry watching black sails has enraged me

[queerstudiesnatural]

i think it's time to take a page from the james flint gay agenda manifesto; stop trying to convince people that the queers are not a danger to society, and become a menace to civilisation instead. the real queer agenda should be to overthrow any and all social systems. work in tandem with other marginalised groups and set heteropatriarchy on fire. become ungovernable, ignore social norms, uplift new voices. assimilation should not have ever been the goal. queer people are different. difference is good. the real enemy is conformity. conformity is responsible for every man made horror in history. war, poverty, hate crimes, slavery, genocide, they are all made possible by the existence and desirability of a status quo. remove the desirability of normalcy and you remove the foundation for all systems of suffering. systems work because a majority of people have decided it was in their best interest to uphold them. but is it really? remove the desirability of normalcy and you have no grounds for competition. keep quiet out of fear that the system will decide you are abnormal next, and you are making sure it will. fuck civilisation, fuck normalcy, fuck the status quo.

[qitwrites]

a numbers game 

Fandom: BNHA 

Pairing: Kiribaku 

(AO3) 

Bakugou knows his personality and general rage-filled disposition towards everything, in general, isn’t winning him any favours, but the texts have made him contemplate just how shitty he must’ve been in a past life to deserve a fate like this.

Because no one - and Bakugou knows such assholes as Monoma - but no one deserves to be on the receiving end of unsolicited dick pics. From random numbers. At all times of the day. For the last 3ish months.

“I am going to throw my phone out the fucking window, I swear on all that is good and pure, fucking bull-“

“More dick pics?” Camie interrupts with a wide grin, plucking the phone out of Bakugou’s hand.

“What the fuck else?” Bakugou snaps, trying to pull his phone back in vain. Camie holds it just out of reach, eyeing the disgusting penis with a critical stare.

"Hmm,” she says, passing the phone back to him before taking a sip of her terrible grass juice that smells like a badly mowed golf course, “the lighting is bad and he hasn’t done like, any grooming at all. 3/10.”

“You’re being generous,” Bakugou huffs, deleting the picture immediately and swallowing the still raging urge to fling his phone at the nearest wall. “It’s unsolicited. And his fingernails are fucking filthy. -100/10.”

Camie rolls her eyes. “You’re being dramatic again Kitkat.”

Bakugou counts to 10 in his head, tries to find that last shred of patience he knows is somewhere deep in his dark pit of a soul and breathes out in a rush.

“I need to fucking figure this out before I actually lose it and track down one of these fuckers and choke the life out of them.”

Because here’s the thing- Bakugou has been receiving dick pics and dirty text messages like hi bby want sex? and imma dick you down gud boo �� he’s positively swooning, what a lovely way to be wooed – and he has no idea how to stop it. Yes, he could cancel his number and get a new one, but all of his bank details are linked to this one. He’s had it since he first got a phone in middle school, and now all of his documents are attached to the damn thing. The very idea of going to the banks and the DMV and every other stupid establishment to get it changed makes him grimace hard enough that he decides to bear with it.

Except, every time he receives one of these horrible pictures, his urge to blow up the phone, nay, the entire world, simmers at dangerous levels.

“Cool it kitkat,” Camie croons, giving his forearm a squeeze, “you’re making your homicidal face. That cannot be good for wrinkles.”

“Like I give a fuck,” Bakugou grunts, flinging his phone away carelessly and watching it skitter around on the kitchen counter before halting dangerously close to the edge. “I just want it to stop.”

Camie puts her atrocity for a drink down and pulls the fridge open, rummaging around as she says, “I have a theory about all this.” She pulls out a jar of jalapenos and places it in front of Bakugou. The blonde yanks a fork out of the admittedly cute utensil bucket in the middle of their counter before snapping the lid off and spearing a good 3 pieces in one go. He chews on them slowly and directs a raised brow at Camie.

“Well,” she muses, picking her drink back up, “as a woman that receives a LOT of numbers from guys and gals and non-binary folks alike-“ Bakugou makes it a point to roll his eyes hard enough to knock his head back; Camie’s laughter is loud and boisterous “- I have a tactic for when I don’t know how to say no and don’t want to give my digits.”

Bakugou has another forkful of jalapenos in his mouth when he narrows his eyes at her.

Camie shrugs, “I usually change the very last digit of my number. Works like a charm. I never meet the person again, and they can’t contact me. Win-win.”

“Win-win my ass,” Bakugou seethes. “Do I look like I’m winning right now? I am this fucking close to killing someone, because of stupid tactics like yours.”

Camie finishes the last of her drink, and speaks around her straw, “You say that, but do you know how many people, and especially dudes, don’t take no for an answer? The only reason I give out any digits at all is when I can’t guarantee my safety. I know it’s not like, the perfect solution or anything, but I’m giving you facts right now.”

And Bakugou does, in fact, know that. He’s met those pushy assholes- people that don’t back down, people that don’t take no at face value, people that push and prod and get up in his space. It pisses him off to absolutely no end.

“Whatever,” he concedes. He spears another forkful of jalapenos before grumbling, “So, what the fuck do I do?”

Camie grins, minx like. “Why don’t you text the number one ahead and one behind your own and ask? I mean, in the best-case scenario you figure it out and get it all to stop, in the worst case, you get to yell at like random people. Isn’t that your second favourite pastime, right after yelling at that pigeon outside our balcony, the one with an agenda?”

“Don’t talk about that fucking pigeon,” Bakugou fumes, “fucking piece of shit bird and those dark, robotic eyes. Something is up with that; you can’t convince me otherwise.” He mulls over the rest of her suggestion before relenting, “Well, I guess I could spare a moment to yell at the fucking extras giving out my number to perverts with no manners and gross penises.”

“I find it so funny when you say the word manners,” Camie says as she walks to her room, “It’s almost like you know what it means!”

She isn’t even looking at him, but she manages to dodge the jalapeno that sails at her head. It hits the wall with a sick squelch, and when Bakugou hears Camie’s door shut, he drops his head on the counter with a loud, resounding thunk and muffles a scream into the marble.

  He forgets to send out those texts, and when he receives yet another picture, not three days later, of someone holding their disgusting penis in their hand, like it’s an accomplishment or some shit, he sends out a text message to two different numbers typed with shaky, sweaty fingers.

>> xxx-xxx-xxx6 , xxx-xxx-xxx4

I don’t know who the fuck you are, and you don’t know me, but it’s possible that one of you assholes gives out my number to random people who, in turn, send me fucking dick pics. It’s been over 3 fucking months, so knock it the actual fuck off. And in case it isn’t you, fuck you anyway.

  Bakugou wakes up from a restless sleep to sunlight sloping in through the blinds of his room, a dry mouth, and three new text messages from an unknown number.

Because his brain takes time to boot up in the mornings, he foregoes the phone entirely and makes his way to the kitchen in search of caffeine. Camie is always up before him, and he gratefully pours himself a mug of her insanely strong black coffee, the kind to palpitate your heart and make you vibrate in your seat. She calls it jet fuel, Inasa calls it death, Todoroki just blinks.

When he’s half a mug down, he finally retrieves his phone from his room and takes a seat in the balcony, surrounded by plants of all kinds. The sun is bright but not harsh, and he takes a second to enjoy it before opening his messages.

He doesn’t even recall sending the messages last night, and for a moment he’s enraged at the idea that someone sent him even more dick pics, but there’s no photos waiting for him, just three messages.

xxx-xxx-xxx4 omg omg OMG I didn’t think anyone actually used this number im sorry D:

xxx-xxx-xxx4 no really im so so sorry holy shit I was just following this idea that my friend gave me cause im terrible at turning people down but I didn’t realize they were messaging an actual other person OMG

xxx-xxx-xxx4 ofc I wont be giving your number out anymore im just so sorry bro, god, this is so damn UNMANLY of me

At least the person has the decency to sound apologetic. Not that it tempers Bakugou in any way, shape or form, but he takes note of it somewhere in the distant recesses of his mind.

Bakugou you better not give it out anymore fuckmunch. I should sue your ass for putting me under so much psychological distress.

The guy replies startlingly quickly. Bakugou opens the message with a quirked brow.

xxx-xxx-xxx4 shit can you actually do that?

Bakugou has no idea, but the key to selling anything is confidence, and he’s got enough to spare.

Bakugou try me

xxx-xxx-xxx4 IM REALLY REALLY SORRY OK TRULY D:

xxx-xxx-xxx4 and not just cuz you might sue me or anything, it was a terrible move on my part :’(

xxx-xxx-xxx4 can I make it up to you somehow??

Bakugou huffs, deflating a little. He’s angry yes, positively incensed for the most part, but the guy sounds genuinely sorry, and he’s finding it increasingly difficult to stay mad at someone that’s just being so damn decent and taking full responsibility.

Bakugou I don’t fucking know.

Bakugou just stop giving out my no.

Bakugou I swear to god if I get ONE MORE NUDE

Bakugou I will find you

xxx-xxx-xxx4 you don’t have to find me ill come to you

xxx-xxx-xxx4 cuz ill def deserve it at that point

xxx-xxx-xxx4 anyway, im sorry again. really ☹

xxx-xxx-xxx4 I gotta get some sleep, so tell me later about how I can make it up to you!!!!

xxx-xxx-xxx4 goodnight

Bakugou checks the clock at the top left corner of his phone screen. It reads 8:31am.

What the fuck does this guy do for work anyway? And does Bakugou care?

He decides no, he doesn’t, because he’s really too busy to care about anything, especially assholes that hand out his number to horny strangers because they’re too chickenshit to say no.

He nods at his own conclusion, downs the rest of his death-in-a-cup, and walks back inside, ready to start another long day of work. Bakugou gives himself an hour before he puts this all behind him, fully forgotten and finally taken care of.

  Why the fuck haven’t I blocked this fucker yet, is the first thing Bakugou thinks when he gets more texts from them.

xxx-xxx-xxx4 heyyo!!!!

xxx-xxx-xxx4 did you think of anything????? How can I make it up to you??

Bakugou stop texting me, that’ll be a great start

xxx-xxx-xxx4 I will as soon as u tell me how to make it up to you!!!

xxx-xxx-xxx4 I was being so unmanly and cowardly, I need to fix it!!

Bakugou good for fucking you, leave me alone

xxx-xxx-xxx4 y don’t you keep thinking abt it and lemme know !!!

xxx-xxx-xxx4 if it helps, I can hook u up with some free drinks!! I co-own and bartend at a place downtown!!!!!

xxx-xxx-xxx4 just think abt it

xxx-xxx-xxx4 I gotta get back to work, talk soon!

Bakugou stop texting me dammit

Bakugou isn’t a naïve person, but he somehow convinces himself that this will be the end of things.

  It is, predictably, not the end of things.

xxx-xxx-xxx4 I just realized I didn’t give u my name

xxx-xxx-xxx4 Kirishima eijirou!!!

xxx-xxx-xxx4 and you are?

Bakugou blocking you

xxx-xxx-xxx4 aww come on man, don’t be like tht ☹

xxx-xxx-xxx4 wait, r u a man?????

xxx-xxx-xxx4 PLEASE AT LEAST TELL ME THAT I DON’T WANT TO MISGENDER U OMG

Bakugou can you calm the fuck down holy shit

Bakugou yes I’m a dude, you’re fucking fine dumbass

xxx-xxx-xxx4 oh phew!!!!!!

xxx-xxx-xxx4 ok my dude

xxx-xxx-xxx4 please come down to the bar??????

xxx-xxx-xxx4 do you actually drink though?? If you don’t we still have great mocktails

xxx-xxx-xxx4 and I can whip up some awesome protein shakes

xxx-xxx-xxx4 ohhh and our food is bomb,,, I promise

Bakugou do you ever just stop talking

xxx-xxx-xxx4 NOPE :D

Bakugou Not a compliment

xxx-xxx-xxx4 what can I say

xxx-xxx-xxx4 im an opportunist

Bakugou you’re telling me

Bakugou fucker

xxx-xxx-xxx4 IM STILL SO SORRY

xxx-xxx-xxx4 PLEASE COME TO THE BAR LET ME MAKE IT UP TO YOU

xxx-xxx-xxx4 actions speak hella louder than words

xxx-xxx-xxx4 I must action you

Bakugou what the fuck 

xxx-xxx-xxx4 you get what I mean!!

xxx-xxx-xxx4 <location> this is the place

xxx-xxx-xxx4 its name is RIOT, u cant miss it

xxx-xxx-xxx4 just lemme know when u can make it

Bakugou I haven’t agreed to shit asshole

Bakugou stop assuming things

xxx-xxx-xxx4 free food, free drinks, free live performance of whatever band’s performing

Bakugou …………………

Bakugou I’ll think about it

xxx-xxx-xxx4 HELL YEAH

xxx-xxx-xxx4 whats your name btw?

Bakugou like id tell you

xxx-xxx-xxx4 I need it for the reservation!!!!

xxx-xxx-xxx4 so that I don’t accidentally serve the wrong gentleman all your free perks

Bakugou didn’t say im coming yet

xxx-xxx-xxx4 im super optimistic

Bakugou I can tell, you’re giving me a headache

xxx-xxx-xxx4 so………… name?

Bakugou no

xxx-xxx-xxx4 I’ll get it out of you eventually

Bakugou try me

Bakugou fucker

If Bakugou finds himself smiling at the end of the exchange, well, that’s his business.

  “So, you finally figured out who was responsible for the penis pictures?” Todoroki deadpans around his cosmo.

“That’s wonderful Bakugou!” Inasa booms, slamming his beer down on the counter with gusto. Bakugou throws a spoon at him.

“Shut it Baldy,” he grunts, going back to chopping veggies. “And yes, I did, but now this fucker won’t stop texting me, insisting on making it up to me or some shit.”

“And this is a bad thing?” Todoroki summarizes slowly. Bakugou turns around in time to see him mouth why to Inasa before taking another generous sip of his drink. Inasa shrugs his stupidly large shoulders before asking, “Why is that a bad thing?”

Bakugou throws another spoon at him. “Because, I texted them so I could stop people from texting me. Now this person’s volunteering information to me about being a bartender and shit and constantly apologizing and it’s fucking annoying.”

“You know what’s interesting?” Camie muses, stirring her bloody mary with a long ass celery stick. “You’re getting all these text messages from this bartender, and you can like, so easily block this one number and be done with it, but you like, keeping responding. And keep, you know, not blocking.”

He can’t see it, but he knows Todoroki is nodding, the fucker.

“That is a good observation!” Inasa booms again, and Bakugou has to resist the urge to fling his entire cutlery set at the man’s thick skull. “Do you like this person Bakugou?”

“What’s there to like, I don’t even fucking know him!”

“Well,” Camie starts, takes a bite out of the celery stick, continues, “he’s well-mannered. Clearly good looking, because you got a LOT of penis pictures these past three months, and that also leads us to believe the business is doing really well, if so many patrons come in begging for a number. All good things, don’t you think?”

“I hate you,” Bakugou says, stirring the curry with barely repressed rage. “I hate all of you. I hate humanity. Fuck people.”

“Or fuck this person in specific,” Camie says gleefully. “You haven’t gotten laid in like 8 months boo, you need to get some.”

“You’re the actual fucking worst.”

“In all seriousness,” Todoroki interrupts, putting his empty glass down delicately, “why haven’t you blocked the number? It seems like an easy enough solution.” The asshole has the audacity to sound genuinely curious, if not slightly amused.

Bakugou hates everything.

“I don’t, I don’t fucking know, ok?” He finally admits through clenched teeth. The blonde kills the heat and places the curry on the counter while Camie brings out the rice and some pickled vegetables from the fridge. She pulls out a beer and twists the cap off before handing it to Bakugou, who snatches it away and takes a quick swig before continuing, “He’s actually kinda nice to me, I guess. And I like watching him be so sorry about all those penises. I may have also mentioned suing him for psychological distress.” Bakugou catches Todoroki’s gaze. “Can I do that?”

Todoroki hums, “You can try, but I don’t think you’ve got that solid a case. Plus, haven’t you deleted virtually all the evidence?”

Bakugou grips the neck of his beer bottle harder. “I fucking hate everything.”

  bartender asshole <image attached>

Bakugou what the fuck

Bakugou why are you sending me cat pics?

Bakugou also that cat is stupidly cute

bartender asshole I know right?????

bartender asshole her name is ruby

bartender asshole and id die for her

bartender asshole i just figured ud be a cat person

Bakugou ………….

Bakugou I hate u

bartender asshole :D :D :D

Bakugou ugh

Bakugou Bakugou Katsuki

bartender asshole :D :D :D :D :D

bartender asshole HI BAKUGOU SO NICE TO KNOW UR NAME

Bakugou I hate everything

bartender asshole except ruby. Its not allowed

Bakugou …………………………………

Bakugou except ruby

bartender asshole :D :D :D :D :D

  Kirishima, it turns out, is a ray of fucking sunshine. Bakugou has a distinct feeling that looking at him directly would be a blinding experience.

Not that he knows who to look for though; he has no idea what this guy looks like. He guesses that he’s buff, with all the times he tells Bakugou about the gym showers running out of hot water and beating his best weights doing bench presses, but he knows nothing else.

He does know that he’s sweet as fuck, making it impossible for Bakugou to stay mad at him. He doesn’t blink at Bakugou’s cussing, and he sends him cute pictures of Ruby.

There is a part of him, small but steadily growing, that wants to meet this stupidly nice bartender.

Bakugou hates everything.

  dumbass bartender so what do you do???

Bakugou front-end development and web design

dumbass bartender oh damn!!!

dumbass bartender so youre like smart smart

Bakugou obviously

dumbass bartender have I seen your work anywhere??

Bakugou I recently redid the website of that protein powder company you don’t shut up about

dumbass bartender ????????????????????

dumbass bartender that’s amazing!!!!!!!!!

dumbass bartender I just revisited the website, it looks so cool

Bakugou duh

Bakugou im the best

dumbass bartender I don’t doubt that!!! :D :D

Bakugou don’t you have work?

dumbass bartender aww bakubro are you looking out for me <3 <3

Bakugou call me that again and I will fucking end you

dumbass bartender before the free drinks??? That you are yet to redeem? ?? at my wonderful establishment?????????? :D :D :D

Bakugou I hate everything.

dumbass bartender D:

Bakugou except RUBY DAMMIT

dumbass bartender :D

  “Just to recap,” Kaminari says with an incredulous look in his eyes, “this guy cusses like a sailor, is constantly insulting you, never initiates conversation, and you still like him?”

Kirishima’s answering grin is bashful. “I mean, when you put it like that it sounds not so great, but he’s really not that bad! He’s super funny and confident, and he LOVES Ruby. Plus, I don’t like him like that, I just think he’s cool.” Kirishima picks up another glass from the washer and starts carefully drying it with his dishcloth before saying, “And, you know, I did put him through a lot by giving out his number. His behaviour is kinda warranted if you ask me.”

“I mean, in the beginning maybe, but haven’t you guys been texting for over a week now?”

“Denki, are you forgetting that giving out another number was your idea?” Kirishima mutters, narrowing his eyes at his best friend. “I’m in this mess because of you.”

Kaminari suddenly seems to find the glass in his hand a lot more interesting. Kirishima’s laugh echoes around the empty bar.

‘What’s so funny?” Ashido muses, bringing a crate of bottled beer behind the counter.

“Kirishima is going gaga over angry dick pic man.”

“I’m not going gaga, what the heck-“

“I think it’s cute,” Ashido says with a big smile. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you actually be interested in somebody; it’s really cute!”

“I don’t like him like that,” Kirishima stresses, though his cheeks are a little warm. He can blame that on the lack of air conditioning, he thinks. 

“We talking about angry dick pic man?” Sero asks with a shit-eating grin. “10 bucks say he’s actually a middle-aged guy with a cheese fetish.”

“That’s so random-“

“You’re on!” Ashido yells, slapping her hand into Sero’s. “I think he’ll be a hottie.”

“He hasn’t even said he’ll come,” Kirishima says, eyes downcast.

“He’ll come,” the three chorus, going about doing their tasks. Kirishima shakes his head fondly and finishes up with the glasses. Just as he’s put all the shot glasses away, he feels his phone vibrate.

Bakubro just finished a massive project

Bakubro could use a drink this weekend

Bakubro know any good spots?

Kirishima’s face breaks into the biggest smile as he rushes to answer.

Kirishima I know a bar that serves free drinks with your name on it!!!!

Kirishima amazing food, dope music, the bestest drinks

Kirishima ive heard the bartender is a great guy too

Bakubro way to toot your own fucking horn damn

Kirishima :DDDDD

Kirishima bt seriously

Kirishima please? ???? ??

Kirishima PLEASEEEEEEEEE??????????????????

Bakubro ugh

Bakubro fine.

Bakubro Friday night at 8

Kirishima looks up from the screen and calls out, “Denki!”

“Yeah?”

“Switch shifts with me, I’ll do Friday.”

“Um, ok, why though?”

Kirishima doesn’t respond, just goes back to texting, his heart thudding in his ribcage.

Kirishima YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Kirishima cant wait :D

Bakubro I’m bringing my stupid friends btw

Kirishima wait

Kirishima you have friends???????

Bakubro I am going to end you

Bakubro you know what? Fuck you im not coming

Kirishima BAKUGOU NO

Kirishima IM SORRY OFC U HAVE FRNDS

Kirishima please come

Kirishima how big a table should I reserve????

Bakubro don’t bother

Kirishima IM SORRRYYYYYYYYYY

Kirishima <image attached> <image attached> <image attached>

Bakubro bastard

Bakubro you playing dirty by sending me pics of Ruby

Kirishima need to weaken your guard somehow

Kirishima pls tell me it worked

Bakubro ugh

Bakubro ill be there

Bakubro reserve a table for 4

Bakubro your stupid bar better be worth it

Kirishima I promise it will be!!!!

Kirishima whoops in joy, slipping his phone back into his pocket. He looks up to see three sets of eyes looking at him with varying degrees of amusement.

“You get a really mushy look on your face when you’re texting him, it’s almost gross,” Sero points out with a laugh.

“Hush you,” Ashido admonishes, whipping her dishcloth at him. She walks over to Kirishima and gives him a big hug. “I think it’s very, very precious.”

“What did he say?”

“He’s coming this Friday!” Kirishima beams, holding Ashido closer against his side.

The three giggle.

“10 bucks say Kirishima messes up the drinks at least once.”

“HEY!”

Ashido squeezes around his middle. “Hon, I love you, but I’m not dumb enough to go against that.”

“HEY!”

They end up laughing and fibbing at each other for the rest of the prep time, and Kirishima feels his heart absolutely soar.

  Friday brings with it crunch time, running lines and lines of code, having a mini-breakdown because the stupid text block keeps floating around on the webpage like it’s in outer fucking space, being forced into one of Camie’s ridiculous vlogs and having an existential crisis about what to wear on a non-date get-together with the guy that ruined Bakugou’s life for close to three months.

Camie spends most of the day laughing at him. Bakugou throws more condiments at her.

“Fucking help me at least, you useless wench,” Bakugou growls, shifting to clothes as he throws a pair of jeans at her. Camie dances out of the way and doubles over, laughing till she tears up from the force of it all.

“I can’t, I just can’t,” she wheezes. “Did you just say wench? What era are you from babe?”

“FUCK OFF,” he roars, leaping towards her. Camie shrieks and ducks away, making a beeline towards his closet.

“Ok, ok, let’s get you dressed! What kinda look are you trying for?”

“Fuck if I know,” he grouses, feeling oddly out of his depth. He wants to look good, but he has no idea for what.

That’s a lie, he knows why. He just won’t admit it.

“Well, why don’t we pick something simple but flattering? Plus, if it's in your style, you’re bound to be more comfy.” Camie pulls out a pair of black jeans that are ripped at the knees, a black fitted round-neck tee shirt, and some black boots. While he’s changing, Camie pulls out a silver chain, some bands for his wrists and a collection of rings.

“Do you want me to do your eyes?” she offers, holding up some mascara and an eye pencil. Bakugou shrugs and sits on the edge of his bed. Camie’s smile is soft as she stands between his thighs, gently but efficiently applying his make-up. When she’s done, he walks over to the mirror to look at himself, and he has to admit- he looks good. Always one to take care of his body and his figure, Bakugou is lean muscle packed into a 5’10” body. His blonde hair is as messy as ever, but the combination of his make-up, the accessories and his clothes give him an edgy look like no other. Camie throws a dark fitted jacket at him before sauntering over to her own room.

He continues to reply to some work emails when his phone buzzes.

dumbass cant wait to see you!!!

dumbass just ask for me at the bar

dumbass or I might be the one to greet you!! :D :D

Bakugou I know dumbass

Bakugou what, are you nervous or some shit?

dumbass I mean, kinda????

dumbass it’s our first time meeting afterall

dumbass I don’t even know wat you look like!!!!

Bakugou blonde wearing all black

dumbass redhead wearing a shirt with the riot logo!

Bakugou whatever

Bakugou ill be there at 8

Dumbass cant wait <33333

Bakugou dumbass

Bakugou scoffs, his own nerves calming at the thought that he’s not the only one that’s a bit out of sorts. It’s nice to know that sunshine Kirishima is jittery about all this.

Also, interesting to know that he’s a redhead. Bakugou can’t quite imagine it, but in a few minutes, he won't need to.

His stomach roils with anticipation, and Bakugou hates every single thing.

Camie pops out of her room at half-past 7 in a maroon romper that cuts above her mid-thigh, hair done in a loose bun, makeup absolutely perfect. Her heels put her at a height taller than Bakugou, but he’s gotten used to being the shortest in their stupid posse. Doesn’t piss him off any less though.

She gets a phone call just as she pushes a tube of lip gloss into her purse.

“We are downstairs!” Inasa’s voice rings through her speaker, stupidly loud.

“Can it, baldy,” Bakugou grunts with a roll of his eyes, “we’ll be there in a sec.”

“See ya!”

Before Bakugou can usher Camie out the door, she pushes her clutch into his hands and walks over to the kitchen cabinet, pulling out two shot glasses and a bottle of tequila.

“Wha-“

“Liquid courage, my dude,” she says, pouring two generous shots and pushing one at Bakugou. She picks her own glass up and gives him a devilish smirk, “Bottoms up bitch!”

Bakugou picks the glass up with a resigned sigh but smirks back equally devilish. They cheers, smack the glasses against the counter and drain them smoothly. Camie puts the glasses in the sink, places a smacking kiss on Bakugou’s cheek and laughs brightly as she dances out of the way of his rage.

They finally load up in Inasa’s range rover, Todoroki plays classical Japanese music over the speakers and Bakugou regrets everything.

  Riot is apparently something of a beloved establishment in its neighbourhood, and Bakugou growls when he sees how long the line leading to the bar is.

“Holy moly, that’s a lot of people!” Camie points out helpfully as she disembarks from the car.

Todoroki straightens his two-tone denim jacket and runs a hand through his hair as he says, “We have a reservation, so I think it’ll be fine?”

“Yes, I agree with you Todoroki,” Inasa beams, locking the car behind him as they walk towards the building. The outside is made of exposed brick and neon lights, and the RIOT sign is a deep red colour, eye-catching and beautiful.

They bypass the people in the line and walk up to the bouncer, who eyes them warily. He’s built like an absolute tank, broad and block-like, and his silver hair shines in the artificial light.

“Can I help you?”

“Bakugou, table for 4,” Camie says cheerily. The bouncer looks immediately enamoured with her before his eyes go wide.

“Wait, Eijirou’s Bakugou?”

Bakugou’s ears burn at that.

“I’m not fucking anybody’s!” he snaps. The bouncer immediately looks at him, and his face breaks into an even wider grin.

“Well, I’ll be damned! Can I see some ID real quick?”

Bakugou cusses colourfully under his breath but pulls out his license, and after a quick check, the bouncer, whose name is Tetsutetsu, steps aside to let them in.

“Have a good time!” he says happily, almost too happily. Bakugou feels his hackles rise.

“What the fuck?”

“It appears that Kirishima talks about you at least as much as you talk about him,” Todoroki observes, walking next to Bakugou.

“I don’t talk about him, fuck you!”

Todoroki’s delicately raised brow makes him want to punch something. Or someone. Preferably both.

“Fuck you all,” he reiterates before stomping inside.

Now, Bakugou is a relatively creative soul – his job kinda demands it – so it’s not his fault that he’s actually quite captivated by the interiors of this stupidly popular bar co-owned by a stupidly nice person.

The inside has exposed brick as well, and most of the furniture seems to be retro. There are large pipes and barrels behind the bar, made of what seems to be pure copper. Black marble covers the bar tops, and the lights are a mix of neon and muted whites, bright enough to see but still bathing the room in an alluring aura. There’s music thumping through the speakers, loud enough to dispel any silence but still at a bearable volume.

“Swanky,” Camie whistles, taking it all in.

Bakugou nods begrudgingly before setting his eyes on the bar.

“I’ll go get us a fucking table,” he mutters before walking over, hands digging deep into his pant pockets. He sees a lanky black-haired guy and a girl with tan skin and pink hair behind the bar, talking animatedly with the patrons as they serve them drinks at a dizzying pace.

When he finally gets a spot at the counter, the pink-haired girl finishes up with a customer and bounds over to him.

“Hi,” she greets, smile wide and happy, “haven’t seen you around before! What can I get you?”

“Kirishima,” Bakugou says because apparently, his brain to mouth filter has decided to abandon him in his time of need. The girl tilts her head in confusion and Bakugou feels the life drain out of him.

“I’m sorry?”

“I’m fuckin here because of dumbass Kirishima,” Bakugou barely grits out, fingers digging into his palms painfully. “The name is Bakugou, table for 4?”

He sees it all in slow-mo- the way her mouth goes slack, the way her eyes light up like firecrackers on New Year’s, and then the way her smile becomes positively blinding. He hates her already.

“Holy shit,” she breathes, “of course! So glad you’re here! Oye, Sero?”

“What?” the black-haired guy says without looking, topping up a perfectly poured glass of beer.

“You owe me 10 bucks.”

This gets his attention- he hands the drink off and looks at her, “Why would I-“

The girl just gestures at Bakugou and winks, “It’s him.”

Sero – or plain face, Bakugou’s brain helpfully supplies – immediately looks at him, his eyes widening. “Shit, seriously? Aw, man.” His smile becomes mischievous. “I’ll get Kirishima.” He opens the door behind the bar and disappears.

“What the fuck was that?” Bakugou snaps, beyond irritated to be so out of the loop.

“Nothing, nothing,” Pinky sings, raising her hands in a placating gesture. “Kirishima will show your party to your table. Do you want anything in the meantime?”

“… a beer,” Bakugou concedes because he’s not dumb enough to not get a drink before he sees Kirishima if he can help it.

“Coming right up!”

He waits at the bar, watching as his group of dumbasses ooh and ahh at the place, looking delighted. A bottle of cold beer hits the counter with a satisfying thunk, bringing his attention back to the bartop.

“Enjoy!” Pinky still has a stupid smile on her face but before Bakugou can say anything, the door behind her is thrown open and plain face steps out.

“The restocking can wait, literally the only thing you’ve talked about for the last 3 days is finally happening.”

The guy following him is all tanned skin and thick muscles under a fitted deep red tee shirt. His hair is a bright unnatural red, pulled into a high pony with a few strands still framing his face. His eyes are a softer red than Bakugou’s own, his cheeks sharp and high, and when his eyes meet Bakugou’s, a zip of electricity races down his spine and along his limbs till he can feel it in his toes.

When the man makes his way over, Bakugou also notes how damn tall he is- easily around 6’4”. His smile is shy, and he smells like sandalwood.

“Bakugou, hi,” he breathes, hesitantly holding his hand out. Bakugou takes it in a daze, still amazed by just how stupidly beautiful this stupidly kind bar owner is.

“Heyyo, you disappeared fam, how’s it going?” 

Bakugou hates everything.

He reluctantly slips his hand out of Kirishima’s warm, firm grip and turns to Camie with venomous eyes. “I literally just met him Cam, shut the fuck up.” He turns back to Kirishima, “Can you show us to our table?”

Kirishima shakes his head once before his smile turns blinding, and Bakugou finds himself fighting the urge to shield his eyes. “Of course,” he says in a voice that’s deep and warm and honey-like, “right this way!”

Bakugou snags his beer off the counter and takes a quick swig before Camie steals it and takes a few sips of her own. He growls at her but otherwise behaves, watching Kirishima’s back as he leads them through throngs of people engaged in cheerful conversation.

“Ok, well, he’s hot,” Cam says around the lip of the bottle. “Total beefcake. Whaddya think, boo?”

“I think you should fuck off,” Bakugou hisses, his face burning.

“If you wanted to go on a date, you probably shouldn’t have invited us,” Todoroki says, taking the offered bottle from Camie. 

Before Bakugou can explode in their faces, Kirishima stops and turns around. “Here ya go!” He gestures to a table behind him, tucked into a more private corner of the bar. It’s large and cushy, and when Bakugou gets in after Camie, he’s surprised at how soft the material is.

“So?” Kirishima says, eyes trained on Bakugou.

“Fuckin what?” Bakugou snaps, voice lacking any heat.

Kirishima laughs, head thrown back to reveal a long, thick neck and Bakugou is so damn weak.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?”

Bakugou clicks his tongue before gesturing at each of them, “Camie, marketing expert by day, YouTube beauty vlogger by night, pain in my ass always. Todoroki, environmental lawyer and a soba obsessed weirdo. Inasa, physiotherapist and resident dumbass.”

Kirishima gives them all a wave before saying, “Kirishima, co-owner of Riot and the reason why Bakugou saw more unwarranted penises than strictly necessary in a lifetime.”

“Asshole,” Bakugou grumbles, earning him another laugh and a bashful hand ruffling the back of Kirishima’s head.

“Still so sorry about that man,” Kirishima offers, “everything’s definitely on the house for you all! Speaking of ordering-“ Kirishima moves on to explain their ordering system-

“You can scan the code with your camera app,” the redhead says, pointing at the barcode on the centrepiece of their table, “and it pulls up our bar and food menu. Just enter your order and your table number,” he points at the large digits on the side that glows a bright 15 back at them.

Inasa pulls his phone out to order. Before he leaves, Kirishima says, “Can I get your drink order before I go?”

Camie asks for a LIIT, Inasa gets a Soju bomb and Todoroki starts off with his usual- a cosmo.

“You good on that beer?” Kirishima asks Bakugou warmly, his eyes dancing with mirth.

“I’m fine,” he grumbles, sliding lower into his seat. “Maybe get me another, your choice?”

“Coming right up,” Kirishima beams before stepping away, and Bakugou’s heart splutters around his chest at the sight of sharp white teeth and cheek-aching grins.

“He’s so cute!” Camie squeals, stealing the last of his beer. “And he’s totes into you too.”

“I have to agree, he’s very attractive,” Todoroki says impassively.

“Certified hottie,” Inasa rounds up, flashing his own biceps for some reason.

Bakugou is so done, and they’ve been here all 5 minutes.

  “Kirishim- Kirishima, the beer is overflowing,” Ashido says, pushing him away and taking over. “God, you’re so gone for him, it’s almost embarrassing.”

Kirishima snaps out of his stupor and moves to take the glass back. Ashido hip checks him away.

“You’re being a little stupid, go help Satou with plating and take the food to lover boy’s table.”

“He has a name, you know,” Kirishima mumbles, but Ashido simply laughs, and Kirishima feels his neck and ears go warm.

Because who let Bakugou walk into his bar looking like that? Looking so damn gorgeous in his all-black get up and his perfect eye make-up and that fierce scowl?

Kirishima’s heart had pretty much stopped at the sight of him, and it was yet to regain its usual rhythm.

The redhead rests his forehead against the wall and mumbles, “I’m so screwed.”

“We know buddy,” Sero says, patting his back sympathetically, “we know.”

  For all that Bakugou hates outings and people and outings in places filled with people, he finds himself having a moderately good time.

Because the food is delicious if lacking a little heat, the alcohol is mixed perfectly and the music is fantastic, filtering through old rock classics with some alt stuff mixed in.

And then there’s Kirishima- tending the bar with ease, laughing along with his co-workers, and sending Bakugou wide, happy smiles that sets his entire face on fire.

“This place is awesome,” Camie whoops, banging another shot glass on the table before knocking it back with ease. Todoroki joins her, his impassive face not so much as twitching at the taste of strong tequila before he bites into a lime. Inasa is already beer drunk, cheeks dusky as he hums along to the music.

“Insufferable,” Bakugou mumbles around his 4th-ish beer. He likes to keep up his grumpy act till his last shred of dignity melts away cause of the alcohol, and he’s probably pretty hit already because he lets Camie pull him into her side with her arm around his shoulder, his nose suddenly privy to the scent of her mellow perfume.

“I love you guys,” Camie beams, picking up her beer and waving it in front of her. Todoroki and Inasa clink their drinks against it, and Bakugou silently waves his own bottle around before downing it.

“You guys good on- oh my god, are you Camie? THE Camie?”

It’s Pinky at their table and her eyes are so comically wide that Bakugou can’t help his snort of laughter. He feels Camie straighten up, but her arm around him stays, holding him close.

“Define THE Camie,” she says with a smile in her voice.

“The beauty blogger that I’ve only been following for the last 3 years, holy shit I love your videos.” And then suddenly, her eyes narrow on Bakugou before she snaps her fingers. “NO WONDER YOU LOOK FAMILIAR! You’re the angry blonde in all her videos!”

“Haan? You wanna go pinky?” Bakugou growls, moving to stand up. Camie keeps him firmly by her side, her laughter shaking them both.

“That’s us!” Camie says. Bakugou finally fights his way out of her grip and throws her a withering look, or his drunken attempt at one anyway. She winks, and he fake gags. “I don’t get recognized in public all that often LOL, this is fun.”

“Did you just say LOL in a verbal fucking conversation?”

“What do you mean you don’t get recognized; you literally have like 3.2million subscribers.”

Camie ignores Bakugou and shrugs at Pinky. “I guess my primary demographic aint here fam. Speaking of which,” she thrusts her hand out, “what’s your name?”

“Ashido Mina,” she says, taking her hand firmly. Camie introduces her to the others, and Bakugou looks back at the bar, disappointed to see that he can’t find Kirishima.

“Can I top you guys off?” Kirishima says, suddenly right next to their table, effectively startling the shit outta Bakugou.

Camie chirps an affirmative, Todoroki asks for a water and checks to see if Inasa’s breathing as the big olf continues to sleep, curled up in the corner of the booth.

“And you Bakubro?”

“Don’t call me that,” Bakugou frowns before adding, “I should probably stop, I’m already kinda tipsy.”

“Lightweight,” Camie teases.

Bakugou gives her the stink eye. “Woman, the one time I tried keeping up with you, I ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning and you didn’t have so much as a hangover, so fuck off.”

“Seriously?” Kirishima says, eyes wide.

“That’s amazing,” Ashido murmurs, her smile crooked and dangerous.

Bakugou. Hates. Everything.

“He had no lasting liver damage, we’re all fine,” Camie reassures before diving into a conversation with Mina about beauty hacks and good mascara brands and global warming.

Kirishima leans close to Bakugou, bathing him in that warm sandalwood scent. “How about I get you some water and one last beer? A Hefeweizen?”

Bakugou turns to look at him, and his breath hitches in his throat when he notices how close they are, when he sees just how red Kirishima’s eyes are, how the heat seems to radiate off his skin. He exhales in a rush and looks away, answering with a jerky nod.

Kirishima gives his shoulder a friendly squeeze – he’s so warm, his hand is fucking huge – before walking to the bar and picking their stuff up.

When pinky finally meanders away from their table to serve other customers, Camie leans her head on Bakugou’s shoulder and says, “We’ll leave soon, ok?”

Bakugou nods again, leaning some of his weight back into her. Todoroki catches his eye and flashes him a warm, tipsy smile, and if he returns it with one of his own, well, he’s drunk out of his skull and has approximately no fucks to give.

  Long after putting Bakugou and his posse in a cab, before which they insisted on paying pretty much the entire tab since they ate and drank a LOT, Kirishima and the rest are cleaning up when Ashido whips him with her cleaning rag.

Kirishima looks at her with betrayed eyes, “Wha-“

“Ei, you better text him again.”

“About what?” Kirishima says glumly. “I did what I said I would do, and I promised to leave him alone after that.”

“Boy please,” Ashido scoffs, roughly wiping down one of the tables, “ya’ll made such gooey eyes at each other all night, plus I’m pretty sure he paid the entire tab just so you could keep up whatever façade you guys have going on to cover up the fact that you have INSANE chemistry with one another.”

“Yeah, the tension was palpable bro,” Sero chimes in, throwing an arm around his waist. “I think you should text him too. He seemed really amusing, and his whole group was a riot.”

Kirishima rolls his eyes at the pun but smiles at them, feeling a new burst of energy in his limbs.

“You guys are absolutely right! Worst case, he blocks me. At least I won’t have any regrets.”

“Yeah boy, get it with that optimism.”  

  Bakugou wakes up to a slight headache, a mouth that tastes like ash, and a profound sadness that settles atop his sternum, weighing him down and pressing him into his mattress.

He sees the glass of water on his bedside table with ibuprofen placed neatly next to it and downs them both without so much as a second thought. As his brain slowly comes back online, he takes a moment to finally navigate his messy feelings and comes to a crushing realization-

Kirishima doesn’t have to text him anymore.

The redhead had said that he’d leave him alone after making it up to him, and yes, it was Bakugou’s standoffish nature that got them into that situation in the first place. And yes, Bakugou had paid the tab mostly because it was too high a bill to be footed by the bar and Bakugou made bank, but also because a small, minuscule part of him hoped that the gesture would make Kirishima insist on another outing or something to ‘make it up to him'.

The blonde doesn’t even bother to acknowledge the fact that he forgave Kirishima almost two days into texting him.

He almost avoids his phone out of fear alone and makes it through a whole cup of coffee and 3 chapters into a novel recommended by Deku before finally picking up his phone to check for emails and notifications.

He expects none from Kirishima.

So, of course, there are 3 from the redhead.

Bakugou’s heart leaps to his throat and he can’t seem to unlock his phone quite fast enough.

fuck he’s cute hi Bakugou, thank you for coming last night!!!

fuck he’s cute it was actually really cool 2 finally meet you. U didn’t have to pay the tab tho :’D

fuck he’s cute bt since u did, I still owe u. can we figure it out later??? Also, what did you think of the place???

Bakugou dumbass

Bakugou you’ve got a swanky place, I’ll give you that. Food was fucking good too. could be spicier.  

Bakugou you got cam completely hooked

Bakugou and yeah, you better make it up to me later. Asshole.

Kirishima replies a few hours later, just as Bakugou finishes up a yoga routine that stretches out his back in the best way possible.

fuck he’s cute :D :D :D :D :D

fuck he’s cute can’t wait

fuck he’s cute <image attached>

fuck he’s cute ruby says hi

It’s a selfie this time, not a picture of just the kitty. Bakugou can appreciate how cute the mutt is, but for once, he has no attention to spare her. Not when Kirishima’s eyes are crinkling around the edges from how hard he smiles up at the camera, not when he’s wearing a tank top with relaxed arm holes, showing off bulging muscles and hints of ink, and not when just the mere thought of him makes Bakugou’s stomach flop around uncontrollably.

He barely manages to reply coherently.

Bakugou the only bright spot in this shitty world

He presses his phone to his forehead and quietly contemplates just how gay he is. Camie pets his head on the way to the kitchen.

  It takes Bakugou some time to get used to waking up to Good Morning texts and a stream of random thoughts from Kirishima all day. The flutter in his stomach disappears a few weeks into talking to the redhead, instead replaced by a bone-deep warmth that always manages to make him feel a little better.

dumbass kirishima GOOOOOOOD MORNING :D

dumbass Kirishima someone threw up on my fave shoes last night

Bakugou HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Bakugou suffer

dumbass Kirishima y u so mean to me ☹ ☹

Bakugou cause its fuckin hilarious

dumbass Kirishima ☹

Bakugou ugh

Bakugou <image attached> [it’s a picture of Bakugou’s balcony, and all his plants look vibrant green as the sun hits them just right]

dumbass Kirishima :D :D :D

dumbass Kirishima legit felt my serotonin just spike

dumbass Kirishima thxxxxxx

Bakugou whatever

Bakuguo dumbass

 ---

 Bakugou if I plan a murder can I count on your stupid muscles to help me move the body

dumbass Kirishima D:

dumbass Kirishima at least take me out to dinner b4 involving me in your crimes

dumbass Kirishima what a lack of manners

Bakugou stfu

dumbass Kirishima :”D :”D

dumbass Kirishima youre joking right?

dumbass Kirishima right??

dumbass Kirishima RIGHT?????

dumbass Kirishima BAKUGOU THIS IS A BAD TIME TO LEAVE ME HANGING BRO DO NOT DO THIS

Bakugou don’t call me bro

dumbass Kirishima THAT IS NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW

Bakugou lol I didn’t do shit dumbass don’t worry

Bakugou or did I?

dumbass Kirishima BAKUGOU NO

 ---

 dumbass Kirishima <image attached> [it’s a gym selfie; Kirishima is crouching in front of the mirror shirtless, hair pulled into a bun atop his head. He’s glistening with sweat, and he’s got a more serious look on his face. He’s not actively flexing any muscle, but the pose makes his thighs, calves and biceps bulge. One hand holds the phone, the other is resting on his bent knee]

dumbass Kirishima working on deez gainz

Bakugou what time do you usually workout

dumbass Kirishima depends on my schedule actually

dumbass Kirishima I prefer the morning, but when I take the late night shift I usually go be4 work the next day

Bakugou hmmm

Bakugou let me know

Bakugou maybe we can go together

dumbass Kirishima :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Bakugou ugh I changed my mind

dumbass Kirishima :D :D :D :D

dumbass Kirishima no takebacksies

Bakugou fucking fantastic

dumbass Kirishima :D :D :D

 ---

 “So, let me get this straight- you guys gym together at least once a week, you talk every day, your stomach flutters at the mere thought of him and Cam swears he’s making googly eyes at you all the time, and you still haven’t asked each other out yet?”

Bakugou flips his phone off, “Fuck off Deku, don’t be a little shit.”

Midoriya’s face morphs into an amused smile on the other end of their facetime call, “Are you being bashful Kacchan? That’s adorable.”

“I’m hanging up.”

“NOOOOO,” Midoriya bemoans dramatically. “I can’t believe I’m missing all this.”

“Yeah, well, who the fuck told you to teach kids English halfway across the world dumbass?”

“I miss you too Kacchan,” Midoriya beams, making a heart with his hands.

“I truly loathe you.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Midoriya puts a few papers away before sighing. “So?”

“So what?”

“So, are you going to make a move? How do you plan on doing it?”

“I don’t,” Bakugou ruffles his hair and ducks his head to hide his rapidly warming cheeks, “I’m not asking him out Deku, fuck that.”

“Why not?” the asshole whines, eyes wide and innocent. “You deserve happiness Kacchan. Plus, he seems like a really nice guy.” Midoriya leans forward and adds in a whisper, “I’ve heard he has a fantastic butt.”

Bakugou rolls his eyes and flips him off again, “Fuck off, you can’t say that without actually meeting him.”

“I’ll be back before then. You guys better be dating already when I get there.”

“Stop telling me what to do, shitty Deku!”

“Never Kacchan, that’s what you do for the people you love.”

“Ugh, how are you so gross when you’re so far away, I hate you.”

Midoriya’s laugh sounds tinny over the phone speaker, lacking its usual body and warmth. Bakugou huffs again before picking his novel back up to read.

“Hi Zuku,” Camie calls out from over Bakugou’s shoulder. “You need to come back soon and help me with Kitkat, he refuses to make the first move!”

“Butt out of my fucking love life, you freaks!”

“Can’t butt out of something that doesn’t exist Kats,” Camie deadpans.

Bakugou feels extremely justified in flinging a stress ball right at her. The kitchen fills up with raucous laughter, from his phone and from the person standing in front of him, and Bakugou thinks that adding a deeper, warmer laugh to the mix, coming from a specific redhead might not be the worst thing in the world.

  Kiri bakugouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Bakugou what?

Kiri just wanted to say hi <3

Bakugou wth

Kiri we still on fr the gym tomorrow?

Bakugou obviously you dumbass

Bakugou I need you to spot me

Bakugou im beating my personal best tomorrow or im going to die trying

Kiri so manly :O :O :O

Kiri I’ve got you bruh

Bakugou don’t call me that

Bakugou and I know you do

Kiri <3 <3

 ---

 Bakugou <link>

Bakugou that playlist you were asking about

Kiri u da bomb katsuki

Bakugou katsuki huh?

Bakugou getting cocky I see

Kiri I mean, weve known each other for like 4 months now???

Kiri ur one of my closest pals

Kiri I don’t have to, I just thought ud like it more than bro

Bakugou I do like it more than bro

Bakugou eijirou

Bakugou I guess ur not terrible

Eijirou ????

Eijirou did you just?? pay me????? A compliment??

Eijirou who r u and wat have you done to katsuki?

Bakugou fuck you

Bakugou just fuck you

Eijirou <3 <3 <3

  Bakugou wakes up one morning, approximately 5 months after meeting Kirishima for the first time, with a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

His work goes smoothly. The coffee tastes potent and fresh, his body feels fine, his plants are thriving, Camie is busy with her own deadlines and therefore not bugging him, even the sun is mellow and warm; the perfect weather.

The pit in his stomach worsens with every hour.

It doesn’t help that all of his messages to Kirishima have gone unanswered; he hasn’t even been online all day. In the months that they’ve communicated, he’s never gone a day without texting the man, and now it’s like he fell off the face of the Earth.

When it gets closer to 6 in the evening, Bakugou decides to call if Kirishima doesn’t get in touch himself. Because the pit in his stomach is making him nauseous, and he needs to know if the redhead is ok if only for the sake of his own damn health.

He gets a call from an unknown number at 5:20 in the evening. The pit in his stomach becomes a yawning chasm as he picks up the call.

“Hello?”

“Bakugou, it’s Ashido, from the bar.”

Bakugou pulls in a deep breath. “Where is Kirishima?”

“Um, there was an incident last night, at Riot.” She sighs deeply before continuing, “Kiri got jumped in the alley outside by a bunch of really drunk homophobic assholes that saw him turn down some guy’s number. He actually fought them off for the most part, but he’s sustained a broken nose and some fractured ribs. We’re at the hospital right now.”

Bakugou sinks to the ground, his stomach plummeting with him. “Are you fucking serious right now? Fuck-“

“I’ll text you the hospital details, ok? I’m sorry we didn’t call sooner, between talking to his moms and the hospital folks, it slipped my mind.”

“I’ll be there,” Bakugou says, standing up on shaky feet and stumbling back to his room. “Just don’t leave him alone.”

“Never in a million years.”

They hang up and Bakugou changes, hails a cab, and gets to the hospital in a complete daze.

His affection for the redhead, brimming and spilling from every crevice, makes itself evident when he lays eyes on him in the hospital bed and feels a surge of protectiveness. He wants to kill the people that did this, he wants to gather Kirishima in his arms and hold him tight, he wants to crawl into bed with him and talk about stupid shit and see him smile again.

“He’s pretty high on pain meds right now,” Ashido says from somewhere behind him, pointing to his IV lines, “so he’s been saying really funny stuff. The doctors did a full evaluation and said he should recover completely in 5ish weeks.”

Bakugou nods and swallows thickly. Ashido squeezes his arm before leaving the hospital room, shutting the door behind her softly.

Kirishima hasn’t seen him yet, so Bakugou approaches his bed carefully before placing a hand on the guardrail. The noise pulls Kirishima’s attention towards him, and Bakugou’s gut tightens when those large, warm eyes go completely soft at the sight of him.

“Kassaki~” Kirishima slurs, his smile large and dopey.

“You absolute dumbass,” Bakugou chokes out, his hand moving from the rail to grip Kirishima’s tightly. Kirishima’s fingers twine with his own with practised ease and his smile turns gooey.

“Hi Kats, you look beautiful today.”

Bakugou half-laughs, half-sobs and rubs his eyes fiercely. Kirishima’s face is a bit bruised, and there’s a huge bandage on his nose, but he doesn’t look nearly as bad as Bakugou had first feared. The pit in his stomach finally calms, slowly loosening until he can breathe normally again.

“Shut up Eiji,” Bakugou grumbles, sitting down on the chair beside the bed. He leaves his hand in Kirishima’s.

“Ok,” Kirishima agrees easily. It takes 10 seconds for him to break the silence again.

“Hey Kats?”

“What?”

“Are we dating?”

Bakugou startles at that, eyes snapping over to Kirishima’s. He doesn’t look accusatory or hurt or weirded out or anything- merely curious.

“No, we’re not.”

“Oh.” Kirishima frowns, “Why not?”

Bakugou huffs out a small laugh, “Because we’re both idiots.”

“Oh,” the redhead says, then nods. “That kinda tracks.”

“HEY!”

Kirishima’s smile becomes dopey again, eyes crinkling in the most endearing way.

“I really like you Kats. You’re so smart and funny and you always smell like fabric softener, and you’re just like. Really pretty.”

Bakugou feels his face heat up completely, his grip on Kirishima’s hand tightening.

“Just rest, you dumbass,” Bakugou says weakly, his entire body too hot for comfort. He watches Kirishima’s smile become something warm and loving in a way that hits his heart, and he doesn’t let go of the redhead’s hand, right up until the end of visiting hours.

When he exits the hospital alongside Ashido, he feels the last of his energy drain.

“I cant believe we didn’t get to him sooner,” Ashido mumbles, rubbing at her eyes fiercely. “The bar was noisy, and he just wanted to dump out some trash. Hanta noticed he was gone a while before we went out back and found him punching the last dude.”

Bakugou purses his lips. Truth be told, he cant believe Kirishima had gotten so badly hurt so close to his own bar, and he’s pissed as fuck that the idiot brigade had even let it happen, but the sincerity in Ashido’s voice tugs at his chest painfully.

“I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” Bakugou laughs humorlessly. “He’ll probably say there’s nothing to forgive in the first place.”

Ashido’s laugh is hollow, “That’s our Eijirou.” She looks at Bakugou again. “You coming tomorrow?”

He flashes her his best sneer. “You best believe I’m going to come by every single fucking day till he’s discharged.”

Ashido’s smile becomes a little more genuine, a little more well-rounded.

“I’m really glad he has you.” Her voice goes all soft and gross as she continues, “You mean a LOT to him, in case you didn’t already know.”

“Fuck off,” Bakugou mumbles, before waving her off and walking away.

Because he does know.

He also knows he’s falling madly in love with him, and that he’s completely and utterly screwed.

And he finds that he really doesn’t mind all that much. Some people, he rationalizes, are worth the horrible butterflies and the too hot too cold feelings down the back of his spine.

Some people, he realizes, are worth loving with everything you’ve got.

  It takes Kirishima five weeks of house arrest to recover completely. Bakugou spends every weekday and a few of the weekends with him, staying over more often than not. He fusses over the redhead, forces him to take his medication on time, and cooks him everything under the sun.

“You’re spoiling me,” the redhead whines when Bakugou serves him what smells like the best mapo tofu he’s ever going to have.

The blonde grins triumphantly, “You’re damn right I am.”

They bicker and banter constantly, but they also curl up and marathon old bond movies at night. Kirishima goes over the bar’s paperwork while Bakugou works off his couch, and they take turns making the coffee. Ruby falls in love with Bakugou and curls up on his chest every chance she gets, and Bakugou laughs at Kirishima’s look of betrayal. The redhead’s couch is ridiculously comfortable, and he leaves his memory foam pillow with the blonde.

“You refuse to take my bed,” he grumbles, “so you damn well better accept my stupid pillow.”

Bakugou’s neck thanks the redhead profusely.

It’s new and weird, living with someone for the first time. Kirishima’s posse are in and out through the day, and Camie comes by just as often, bringing a change of clothes and gossip with her. Todoroki drops in with some high-quality tequila sometimes and Inasa brings his infectious energy, and through all of this, Kirishima remains in high spirits, even if he goes a little stir crazy sometimes.

It’s new and it’s weird, going from casual touches to more loving ones, more comforting ones. It becomes commonplace for Bakugou to rest his head between Kirishima’s shoulder blades on the days that he has a bad time at work. It’s normal for Kirishima to place his head on Bakugou’s lap while they watch shark documentaries. It’s easy for them to bump knees and press their calves together while enjoying their morning coffee.

It’s new and it’s weird and it’s amazing.

Because Bakugou finds himself falling in love with the little things. The way Kirishima sticks his tongue out when he’s smashing the PS5 controller during an especially intense game of Mario party, the way he makes the coffee with a sleepy smile on his face, the way he hums off-key to a song that’s stuck in his head, the way he can understand Bakugou- can differentiate between his frustrated fuck, his bashful fuck, his angry fuck, his sleepy fuck.

And how he accepts it all without so much as a hitch in his step.

Bakugou watches himself fall in love, slowly, and then all at once.

  “How is it that he lived with you for almost 5 weeks and you STILL didn’t ask him out? Or kiss him stupid? Or something?”

Sero has a finger pinching the bridge of his nose, the other flexing loosely in front of his chest as he tries to fathom the stupidity of two people that could not be more into each other if they tried.

“I, I uh-“ Kirishima hangs his head, “I have no excuse.” He sighs deeply. “I was scared he’d give me a pity answer cause I was injured and everything.”

Ashido looks over her shoulder with incredulous eyes. “Are you kidding me?”

“What?”

“Eiji, I know you love us so like, if any of us were hurt like this you’d take care of us till we were better too. But do you think someone like BAKUGOU would practically move into someone’s house to make sure they were ok if he wasn’t nuts about them? Really?”

Kirishima’s face flushes, and he waves her away. “I don’t want to read into it. He’s just a really, really, really good guy. And what we have is good, it’s great! We’re bros. Pals. Friends. It’s all good.”

Ashido continues to stare at him for another moment before throwing her hands up and yelling, “BOYS!” She stomps into the kitchen to help Satou with prep for the day.

They continue to stock up the bar, Kirishima assigned to prepping limes and the ice machine, when the door opens and someone steps in.

“Sorry, we’re not op- Bakugou?”

And there stands the blonde with the biggest bouquet of flowers – chrysanthemums and sunflowers – that Kirishima has ever seen. The redhead distantly hears the sound of a door close behind him, and suddenly they’re alone, the tension positively stifling.

“Bakugo-“

“Go on a date with me.”

Kirishima sucks in a startled breath, his heart hammering in his chest.

“Go on a date. With me,” Bakugou repeats, his neck and ears tinging the loveliest shade of red. “The romantic kind. Where we dress up and get food and drinks and fight over the bill and walk each other to the door and get super awkward before we kiss. All that shit.”

Kirishima isn’t sure how it happens- one moment he’s on this side of the bar, the next, he’s jumping across and gathering Bakugou into a tight embrace, mindful of his newly healed ribs but still unwilling to release the blonde until Bakugou returns his hug, burying his face into Kirishima’s chest.

“Is that a yes?” Bakugou mumbles when they finally pull away, his hands fisted in Kirishima’s shirt.

“In every possible language out there,” Kirishima answers, ducking down to softly kiss Bakugou on the cheek. He laughs as the blonde cusses and shoves him away and laughs even harder when Bakugou’s own smile covers his entire face, bright and open and oh so breathtaking.

That smile is Kirishima’s and Kirishima’s alone.

  Eiji hiiiiiiiiiiii

Bakugou I swear to god Ei

Bakugou if you’re late for our first date I will find you

Eiji and give me a kiss? :*

Bakugou I don’t kiss people that don’t have good time management

Bakugou so fuck off

Eiji still so mean to me ☹

Eiji I want that kiss tho

Eiji so ill be ready

Eiji promise

Bakugou good

Eiji  <3

Bakugou <3

Eiji :D :D :D :D :D :D

Eiji YOU LIKE ME ENOUGH TO SEND EMOJIS HU H <3333

Bakugou it will never happen again

Bakugou so fuck right off

Eiji :”D

Bakugou im outside

Eiji be right there

Eiji <3  

[a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives]

TW: Ableist comment/disability

Early this morning, I saw one post that shared by my mutual on twitter. It was antis's post on John Silver, which I believe from tumblr. The post was asking about their opinion on John Silver.

Their comments was “Put. The beard. Back where it came from. You lost your leg, not your hand, you can still shave and for the love of the gods, please stop rambling deliriously about how James is a sea god. Stay away from James.” and also “Throw him in the bin with the rest of the garbage.”

Reading this, never ever I had felt so much rage and so disappointed to read their ableist comment.

As disabled person, their comment inflicted so much pain to them. Do you know why John Silver wasn't bothered to shave his beard? BECAUSE IT WAS GODDAMN PAINFUL TO DO SHAVE BY HIMSELF, HE WAS TOO TRAUMATISED, WHICH HIS LEG WAS SAWED WHILE HE WAS AWAKE! HOW COME YOU MISSED THAT SCENE??

Of course his personal hygiene degrade because of his mind trying to processing how his body work, to deal another burden after losing his limb. If you never experience how it's feel like the numb and the burden on part of your body, slam your hands to the door and you will feel numb for entire the day.

Throwing him into the rest garbage because you think he is invalid as the part of crews? Silver believed that he was invalid to the crews, just add another burden, you know that? But he decided to stay with the crew, his brothers whom was there for him. They built rope for him to ease his walk when he's on the deck. They let him to use kitchen to cook food, it's his safe space where nobody look for him. Whose else there for him on the Walrus? Dr. Howell, Dooley, Muldoon, Billy and Flint.

What do you expect from disabled person with deal with traumatic past? Do you really think disabled person like us, must to grieve their lost of their body part? Silver doesn't want their sympathy, he wanted to show that he's capable to do his own!

When Billy said he needed one person to cause fear on the Nassau, it was Silver. He decided to step forward as behalf for Captain Flint and showed his power that his disability has nothing for him. He used his mind to prove that he is capable to fight the army. Flint taught him how to use sword and he never see Silver’s as less than human. He saw Silver as partner and shared same mind.

That comment on “You lost leg, not your hand” really enraged me so much. I was angry with this, because I experienced similar comments like this, “You lost hearing, not eyes or mouth! Get over with it!” and I was told that I should be grateful that I still have eyes and mouth to see and talk. I should be happy that I able to see and experience them before they were gone, unlike others. Wow, such nice way to look down on us.

Do you know what's most ableist thing people has done on me? By taking away my glasses whenever I need them to read their lips, even with my hearing aids on. By taking away TV remote and turning off the cllsed caption so that I had to learn lip reading by themselves. I was angry, hurt by their behaviour and I cried, a lot. Since then I cut off with that people and stopped talking to them. I ignored them and refused talk to them until they apologised on their past behaviour.

The way this person trying to invalidating disabled person's feeling and tell them to man up, it's hell rude. If you saw someone struggled alot, offer their help. Or if you have ableist thought, keep it to yourself. No thanks, we do not want hear that and we are fine by ourselves. We know our body better than the doctors or anyone else.

I don't know if you, the antis actually skipped the scenes and jumped in when Flint was in. I'm sorry to tell you, I don't believe you watched entire episode and season, only for your shipping. You ignored the story, you ignore every character's development and even worst you ignored his disability by invalidating his pain and his disability.

Please don't call yourself as Black Sails fan if you can't accept disability and no sense of empathy for each characters in this story.

You are allowed to express your dislike on John Silver and his action for taking away the war, go ahead but do not invalidate his disability and his pain.

If you insist to paint disabled person like John Silver as the villain in this story, go ahead, that's your wish right? We are disabled person too, and we are bad person because we have right to ask for equality!

Oh did you know, in pirate world, the person has lost limb or ability to function to work on the ship will receive better share for them if they wishes to retire!

But remember, even villain in the story also still have healthy body and functionally normal too, soo that's your choice. *shrug*

I know BS is fictional world, so with the characters! And remember, your answers/post/opinions reflected what your thought on people around you.

Good luck with that, I hope many people realised how ableist you are.

Go outside, see what you has been missing in real life.

Cheers and good night.

[harrypeglar]

black sails gift exchange 2019

my recipient is @illgiveyouallofme! hope you enjoy this fic since it uh.... got out of hand very quickly. 

posted on ao3 here

Flint has no fucking idea what Silver is doing. What he even thinks he’s doing. His second “daily address” went about as well as the first one. Now he thumbs at a few parchment notes with reluctance, and yes, he’s going to try it again. Twice he has not learned his lesson.

“If you’re trying to impress me, it isn’t working,” Flint tells him, although it isn’t wholly true. He is impressed at how little an apparent sailor can know about sailing, and that Silver is in fact capable of using a compass.

The man sighs as if the beatings he receives from the crew are minor inconveniences, and stands to take center-stage in the mess. Flint raises his brow at the sauntering steps he takes to reach his non-existent pulpit.

It begins like it usually does, with a weather report and a few resigned groans from Silver’s audience before he gets into more pressing matters. Flint, despite his better judgment, had thought that grown men wouldn’t entertain his gossip, but it seems Silver’s estimation of their maturity was accurate. Dooley is quick to blows, dropping the smaller man without pause. Flint winces.

But when he staggers back to his feet, they’re listening.

This one is undeniably worse, and Silver’s beating corresponds with the seriousness of his accusation. The crew member kicks him while he’s laid out on the floorboards, hard enough to bruise, at least knock the breath out of him in the best-case scenario. Flint nearly stands to exchange blows with the goat-fucker, since it appears that Silver can’t do that for himself. (And it’s no wonder; he wasn’t able to fight the Spaniards effectively, not to mention that his frame must be one of the smallest among the men.) But he realizes that he’s still disgraced, and that to get into a brawl would only hurt his chances for captaincy. As the man hauls Silver up by his hair, Flint’s stomach twists, despite reminding himself that Silver too will be better off in the long run if he doesn’t cause a scene.

He briefly wonders when he began taking Silver’s interests into account.  

Then the crew is raucous with insults and laughter, and Silver is left alone as the other man is harassed by his mates to what seems like no end. Flint has no interest in it. Instead, he watches the corners of Silver’s lips pull back, revealing blood-stained teeth, into a satisfied smile. His gaze darts over to Flint for- what, approval? Even more surprising is that it’s given to him freely. Flint snorts incredulously and offers a curt nod, meeting his wild eyes in a rare gesture of respect. He’s proven his plan to be effective, something that Flint wouldn’t have believed if he hadn’t witnessed it.

Later, after a whirlwind day, he sees the beginning of a solemn evening. The ship’s company associates Dufresne’s name with a bad taste in their mouths, and then he’s captain again before the night is through.

He’s thoroughly studying his new cabin and its contents when there’s a knock at the door. “Come in.” Silver peeks in first, almost as if afraid to enter, but quickly recovers with a sly smile, closing the heavy cabin door behind him.

“Congratulations, Captain. I’m glad I can call you that again; Mr. Dufresne was a stickler about my habit, but I don’t think I could accept him as a-“

“Take your shirt off.”

A pause and a soft frown. “Beg pardon?”

“You have a bootprint on your chest, for fuck’s sake.” Flint huffs and approaches Silver, who has gained a sort of blank, dumb look on his face. His sleeve is speckled with blood, and there’s a dried line of it still under his chin. “You can’t wear this.”

Silver gives a little shrug, but his breath is shallow from pain. Flint’s heart twinges with sympathy, despite having a damn good case as to why he shouldn’t feel anything for the thief. “I don’t have much else to wear. That striped shirt took quite a beating too…”

“Be mindful not to strain yourself so much, and you can take one from here for the time being.” He turns away, both to find a shirt in the cabinets he’d snooped in earlier and to indicate that he’ll hear no argument. A sigh emanates from behind him, but a rustle of fabric tells him Silver is complying. When he goes to hand off the garment, he’s frozen at the sight of Silver’s mottled torso.

Silver delicately snags it from his hands, glaring. “You know, Captain, I have been beaten before.”

“I’m not surprised,” Flint retorts, and Silver goes curiously silent at that. He doesn’t let the moment linger. Having found a tin of comfrey salve in the desk drawer, he passes it over as well once Silver has the shirt over his head, wincing a little at the stretch. “Take this and use it.” He wants to do the job himself, but that would have dangerous implications, and he doesn’t feel up to analyzing his actions after such a day. Even so, his inspection pauses at Silver’s collar bone when he’s too busy tucking the oversized shirt in to notice where Flint’s eyes are. So maybe he still has some soul-searching to do.

A more cheerful smile plays at his lips now, and he pockets the salve without protest. “Yes, Captain.” At this point, the shit is clearly mocking him, but it feels warm, affectionate. “Anything else?”

Flint’s eyes flick up to meet his. “No. If you would excuse me, Mr. Silver, I do have a course to plot.”

“Of course, Captain. Thank you for the provisions.” He doesn’t stay long enough to see Flint pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

When Silver returns the next afternoon to loiter while he meets with De Groot and Dufresne, he smells faintly like dirt and lavender- an oil probably used to combat the comfrey’s strong scent. Flint doesn’t smile, or make a comment, or inspect Silver head-to-toe the way he wants to, but it’s a near thing.

-

The next time Silver is injured, it is something that not even he can fix. Much like the other things taken at Charlestown, he has no remedy for it.

He thinks that Miranda wouldn’t want him to cry, not for her, but out of regret and shame for everything he hadn’t done. But he never listened to her concerns before, and it’s all pointless without her anyway. Silver is unconscious for the next week, and the crew steers clear of his cabin. Flint has the freedom to weep for as long as he wishes. 

The week is not a long enough mourning period, but he has a ship to run, and John Silver is back in the world of the living. He greets the other man with good news, bad news, anything but discussion of what he’s done, what they’ve unleashed. Flint hates to admit it, but he’s happy to see him, to speak to him again.

And the first piece of information Silver offers him is that the location of the gold has been betrayed to another crew. Flint detects something dishonest in the explanation almost immediately- which part of it, he doesn’t know- but Silver hasn’t even the courtesy to look sorry about it.

He storms out with this revelation, anger fresh and renewed as he reports the account to the crew on behalf of their bedridden “quartermaster”. He reminds himself that they don’t know what a lying shit they’ve voted in and works himself up all over again. Miranda gone, Charlestown gone, Gates gone, the gold gone, and a fucking urchin left in their stead to convalesce in Flint’s cabin.

After days of taut silence between them, Silver spending the whole of it staring into space or looking at Flint when he thinks the other man won’t notice, there is a gentle interruption while Flint is writing in the ship’s log.

Silver clears his throat. “Uh.” His voice is rough with disuse. Flint pauses in dipping his quill. “Captain, would you mind getting a book from the shelf for me? Any one is fine.”

There’s something in his words that just makes Flint more enraged, perhaps the propriety of his request, or the title.

He makes his way to the shelf and picks at random, a heavy leather-bound book that could be handwritten for all he knows. He carelessly tosses it toward Silver, with more aggression than is truly deserved, before pulling his chair out to continue working. Then he hears a gasp. 

Unwittingly, he twists to look, concerned even now, and he sees that the book is sliding off of Silver’s lap and down between his thighs, positioned just so that Flint can imagine one of the book’s corners had clipped his bandaged leg. He opens his mouth to apologize, to hastily explain that he wasn’t trying to hurt him, but all that comes out is a thin, panicked noise. And it’s only fitting that he can’t say it, as he knows that he wasn’t trying not to hurt Silver either.

The man clutches at what remains of his left leg, eyes welling up at the pain, shoulders heaving as he waits for it to pass. The tears finally begin to fall when he screws his eyes shut, and Flint wants to shoot himself.

“I’m sorry, I-“ He takes a step closer, and is interrupted by Silver sobbing. It’s when his grip on the stump loosens that Flint realizes that it isn’t about the book or the pain anymore. He sits down facing the window, silent, repentant, as Silver beats his fists against the window frame and cries in a way he’s never seen a man cry before. Like it’s being ripped from him, like the wailing itself hurts. 

Flint is quiet, listening for men above and below to make certain that Silver can have this private moment. Not for pride, but for him to be able to perform for no one. That this should not become another stage for others to look upon when he’s in such agony and turmoil.

He rubs his eyes raw while the tears seem to almost choke him. He must have no qualms with such a display of emotion- or more likely, Flint thinks unbidden, he can’t stop himself. It takes forever for it to subside to a more controlled weeping and finally to silent tears, when he begins to regain his breath. Silver’s chest still rises rapidly where he leans against the window frame, but as it appears to calm, he slides down so his head can rest on the cushion below. 

It’s only now that Flint reflects on what Silver wanted from their relationship: freedom. Guilt rises in his throat at the thought. Between losing Miranda and remembering how he goaded Silver into loyalty to the crew, tears prick at his own eyes. He has much to regret, it seems.

Silver’s slack hand, the one closest to Flint, trembles after he’s tired himself out. He thinks the man might have just brought his own fever back, and he reaches out to the clammy palm unthinkingly. Silver almost recoils, but he quickly replaces his hand on the seat after flinching away. Flint takes it between his own fingers and presses his lips not to Silver’s skin, but close enough to warm him somewhat.

“Christ, I’m so sorry.” For the book landing on him at the wrong time, for reminding him of this helplessness and the feeling of imprisonment, for asking him to secure votes, for going to Carolina in the first place.

Silver sniffs and swallows thickly, almost nodding off after his episode, but awake enough to know whose hands are on him. “We make quite a pair, don’t we?” He keeps his eyes closed, and his voice is nearly inaudible. He can’t manage a smile, but he hums when Flint encircles his wrist, at least tolerating the contact.

He doesn’t answer, unable to see how they could ever come as a pair after what Flint has done to him. And more than that, with the weight of the gold on their minds. He’s unable to see anything in their future but war and destitution.

Silver falls asleep then. Flint releases his hand and positions it at his side before moving the book to lean against the glass. He feels as though he’s preparing a corpse, pulling the blanket up around Silver’s limp form and gently dabbing at his wet face. Then he sits back and watches the man breathe until the sun has vanished beyond the horizon.

What have they done?

-

It takes everything in him not to wrap his arms around Silver, and squeeze. Only the presence of the bearded guard dog of a man stops him from following through. It’s a curse that their chances of being alone will only dwindle further after the battle to follow.

Somehow, they’ve both managed to rise from the dead.

Flint can’t take his eyes off him as they walk, Silver hobbling on a crudely-made crutch in the sand beside him. He squints so that it should look like he’s simply avoiding the sunlight. If Silver notices, he doesn’t say anything. And Flint is certain he hasn’t noticed. He would have commented on it by now, probably to tell him to keep an eye out for rocks that the crutch might snag on. It’s unjust that he can read Flint so well and yet cannot see Flint’s nearly senseless love for him. 

Silver’s eyes find Madi, and he stays back to allow them a private reunion, but he averts his gaze as their lips meet. He knows well enough it’s not for him to see. 

During the fight, Flint is still watching him, ensuring Silver’s safety above his own. He tells himself that it’s only because of his awareness that Silver is the future of these pirates now (whether he wanted to become that or not), but it’s never so simple. He watches Hands slaughter Rogers’ captain, and horribly, he realizes that he envies the man for receiving a go-ahead from Silver. God help him. All the same, the governor’s mansion is theirs, and Nassau is teetering on the brink of safety.

The sky darkens until all they can do is prepare for tomorrow. When they’ve all but rehearsed the expected attack on the governor when he arrives, when they’ve taken stock of their losses and acquisitions, most everyone returns to their places as if nothing has happened at all. The only indications of turmoil are bullet holes strewn about, tattered banners on the streets, and a few men sent to camp out on the beach and keep watch. It still amazes him, how quickly a tide can turn.

Silver is restless as they finish up what they can; he taps his fingers on the governor’s desk as if they itch for something more to do. Flint stands from his perch at the dilapidated window sill to console him.

“We would do well to get some sleep before dawn,” he says gently, cupping the other man’s shoulder. “Where will you and Madi be staying? Where has she gone anyhow?”

He’s almost startled out of a reverie. “Yes, well. She’s catching up with Eme. I doubt they’ll join us until late tonight, if at all. I… don’t know where I’ll sleep.”

“Why don’t you come up to the guest room and lie down?” You’ve been on that crutch all day, he doesn’t say, but the implication is there, as well as the threat that Flint might drag him up if he refuses. Silver wisely nods, and the stairs creak with their combined weight as they ascend to a far-off corner of the mansion. It’s a small room that looks incomplete, with lavish bedding but old walls and furniture. Flint had been looking forward to sleeping in a stationary bed again, but he gestures for Silver to take it instead. He sits down in an armchair in the corner, close to the bed’s headboard.

Silver blinks but takes the offer. They’ve grown close enough, Flint realizes, that this situation does not strike him as strange. His crutch falls gently to the floor once he sits (with a hushed sigh of relief, as usual), and Flint stares at him.

“What?” Silver’s eyes are full of mirth as he looks up from unlacing his boot. Like he knows what, or like he doesn’t want to know. “Something wrong?”

Playing stupid again. But no, he isn’t. He genuinely doesn’t know what’s wrong- Flint can hear it in his tone. There’s nothing smug there, just innocently amused by what he must think to be Flint staring into space.

“No. Nothing wrong.”

His smile softens around the edges. “Are you sure, Captain?”

Flint is not a praying man, but if he was, he’d be praying for God not to let him give himself away. But he isn’t, and God doesn’t do shit for him. “Yes, I’m sure. We’re both alive, aren’t we?” Silver nods in understanding before his mouth betrays him. “You’re alive,” he says in the silence.

“I am.” Silver’s lip quirks up, almost in confusion.

Flint removes himself from the musty armchair and slides down to his knees. They’re only a few feet apart anyway, so he shuffles closer to push Silver’s hair out of his face, tuck it behind his ear. He doesn’t smile or laugh or duck away like Flint expects him to. Instead his hands go to splay over either side of his captain’s face, and he studies Flint’s expression. For what, he doesn’t know. “You’re alive and sitting here with me.”

“I know.” Not that he’s alive, but he knows what it means for Flint to say such a thing. “I know.” Then he leans in until their breaths mingle and shudders, eyes closing involuntarily. “It’s alright,” he whispers, near inaudible, and Flint can’t help himself as his palm trails to cup the small of Silver’s back. 

Their lips meet chastely with rigid apprehension at first, before Silver urges him forward, palms pressing flat below his cheekbones as they come back together with more conviction. Flint sucks the other man’s bottom lip between his teeth, grabbing at his hips uselessly until he has the leverage to pull Silver flush against him. 

“You fucking scared me,” he says when they pull apart for air. His voice breaks traitorously. “When I thought I’d never get this, that you’d never know… Fuck.”

The corner of Silver’s lip tugs up as if to form a smirk, but his eyes are so earnest as he presses tight to Flint’s chest. Being able to not just see him again but also to hold him like this is a privilege. “Captain,” Silver starts, but Flint captures his lips again before he can say anything else, and the way they both clutch at each other suggests he doesn’t mind the interruption. His hands go to Silver’s curls, gently tugging and settling to cradle the back of his skull.

Silver breaks the kiss and tilts his head back into the touch. His eyelashes flutter briefly, and Flint is enthralled. 

“Madi knows, doesn’t she?” Silver nods as well as he can while still reclined, and Flint mouths at the hollow of his throat. “And she doesn’t mind sharing?” 

“What do you think?”

He pauses, considering. She had given him a look on the beach when they were waiting for John to turn up as the injured man found in the water. Almost like she wanted to say something to him and hadn’t. Flint isn’t sure he would have been able to hear her out then anyway. He withdraws from Silver just slightly, ignoring his reedy whine at the loss of contact. “I think I should find her in the morning and have a chat.”

Silver nods with a barely-suppressed smile. “And I’m sure she’ll be amenable to it. I have a feeling it will be shorter than you’re expecting.” Flint swats at his knee and stands as Silver huffs a laugh.

“Move,” he instructs, sitting at the edge of the bed. His coat came off a while ago with the warm night breeze picking up, but now he removes his boots as well, Silver’s hands splayed over his shoulders while he waits for the other man to join him.

When Flint turns about to face him, he’s absolutely besotted. Silver, reclining luxuriously in the governor’s guest bed, hair hanging loose and wild, his chest smooth and tan and freely on display under the low-cut neckline of his shirt. His heart aches, and at the same time, he wants to fucking jump Silver more than anything. 

“What?” Silver asks, trying to meet his eye with a small, nervous smile. Flint stares at him openly and tilts Silver’s head up to give him a kiss, which quickly becomes filthy. He lets out a soft moan as he opens up for Flint’s exploring tongue, and then an exhale when they separate.

“Nothing. I like to look at you.”

Silver says nothing to that, but his cheeks darken as he lowers his head onto the feather pillow. While he tries to find the edge of the blanket for a hiding spot, Flint stands to lock the door. This one, luckily, was not busted during the initial raid of the governor’s mansion, as the door was already wide open. While he doesn’t think anybody knows which room he’s sleeping in (and nobody would have reason to barge in), he’s not going to take the comfort of privacy for granted.

Once he’s back in bed and under the thin white sheets- probably marring them with whatever grime is left on him from the day- he thumbs at Silver’s cheek with no small amount of adoration.

“I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you,” he murmurs. “I don’t want to think about what I’d become.”

“Then don’t,” Silver replies quickly, touching his forehead to Flint’s. “Think about what we’ll do together now. What we’ll do after all of this is over.”

After. He nods. He hadn’t thought about after, hadn’t thought about surviving this war. But now he finds that the idea of having a life with Silver, finding the peace he’d sought for so long- it is tempting. The desire to follow Silver wherever he goes, mixed with the hatred of this new legend, is strong enough to make him tremble.

Silver places a hand over Flint’s where it cups his face. “It will be finished someday. We’ll not find our end when that day comes.”

Flint nods and holds him tight, as though he might float away, until Silver goes lax in his arms with sleep. His own rest eludes him, but he finds he doesn’t mind. After all of this is over. The same images play in his mind over and over, of a cottage in the countryside with four mugs on the table; Silver being scolded out of the kitchen, and a warm breeze filtering through unbroken windows.

[smiling-like-a-snake]

Hymn to Aphrodite

The waves played across stone like fingers over a piano. In the distance, there were ships with heavy blue sails, ignited by the fury of the setting sun. Birds sang across the coast and words drifted from stone buildings, tumbling and fading the closer they got.

Crowley turned her head, watching the woman lying beside her. Sunlight danced over black hair and the wind tugged at the soft, sea-made curls. A finger traced out Greek letters on smooth skin, writing words that were lost as soon as they were formed. A basket of grapes sat, half eaten, on a stone by their heads. Beside it was a jug that once held wine.

“What are you writing?” Crowley shifted and a hand dragged over her abdomen, tapping little rhythms underneath her ribs.

“A song for a chorus,” Sappho said, leaning on her elbow. Dirt stuck to her shoulders and hips, catching between her toes and the back of her knees. The waves laughed beneath them, dancing across the beach. “Or, perhaps, a play.”

Crowley took the woman’s hand in her own, pressed her lips along the knuckles. “A play?” She said, yellow eyes glimmering. “Would you make your way to Athens, then? Knock the men off their thrones?”

Sappho laughed. “Oh, that would be a sight,” she said and rolled over onto her back, tracing the patterns of clouds with her eyes. “I wonder what they would call me. Wanderer?  Breaker of rules?”

“She-Who-Kisses-The-Feet-Of-Aphrodite-And-Begs-For-Ladies,” Crowley mused, brushing dark hair away from her face.

Sappho’s enraged gasp fluttered down the hill and her fingers poked Crowley in the side until words turned to giggles and full belly laughs. They swatted at each other’s hands, startling the birds in the trees. A few grapes tumbled down the rocks, landing in the water to be eaten by Poseidon and his daughters.

The play fight only stopped when both were out of breath. Beyond the ships, the sun kissed the line of the horizon.  Crowley closed her eyes under the last of the golden rays. An arm encircled her waist, pulling her to salt-kissed skin.

Sappho hummed against her shoulder, breath hot against flesh. “You’ll be leaving, soon,” she said in that uncanny knowing way she did. Her lips pressed against Crowley’s neck and their hair tangled together.

“I will,” Crowley admitted, opening her eyes to look at the human curled against her side. “Places to go.”

“People to laugh at,” dark eyes glittered with mischief.

The sun vanished beyond the horizon.

Crowley traced the first lines of Orion. “I am,” she paused, searching for the words. “I am sorry I couldn’t give you what you wanted.”

“Ha!” Sappho pressed another kiss to a sun painted cheek. Her lips wet and chapped by the Mediterranean. “You are a silly creature, sometimes,” she said, not pulling away. “Loving so much and yet not knowing it.”

“There are those who would disagree with you,” Crowley said, pressing her nose into black hair and inhaling the scent of fish and salt and sweat.

Sappho hummed. “Good,” she said, “I’ve never cared much for fools, anyway.”

[mrneighbourlove]

Queen of the Red Sea: Beyond the Sea and Oceans

Gulper Bay was one of the biggest hotspots for pirate activity. A true wonderland for pirates, with trade able to be achieved in safety. Well, for the most part.

A bar fight broke out in good fun, a man flying across the floor. Landing at a Gerudo’s feet, he only saw a foot smack him in the face. The young woman laughed, and the bar gained a hardy laugh with her.

Captain Adda was the chieftain of the greatest band of Gerudo Pirates, hailing from the Great Bay of Termina. She was here today to let her crew enjoy a fun night after finding a huge cache of ancient jewels by fluke. Her real objective was a much greater treasure found in this sea. “Drinks for the man who can kick THAT guy’s ass!”

The poor large man got tackled by a bunch of other drunk men. Adda loved causing chaos here and there. Gerudo Pirates were getting drunk, trying to find suitable mates for the night. Wasn’t hard, as Gerudo were known to be exotic and rare, and the hormones of a man could easily be swayed. Adda kept away from any drink, at least for the moment. She wanted to be sober when she found her Voe.

Her first mate, a woman in big iron knuckle armour groaned in annoyance. “I hate this place. It stinks like piss.”

“Could be your attitude towards having fun. I’m ordering you to relax.”

“It’s my job to keep you safe Captain.”

“No Scarlet. Your job is one of three things. Find a guy to put a baby into you, find a buyer for all the loot we acquired, or three, get out of that heavy suit and get wasted on all the liquor here. Now go. You’re a buzzkill around me.”

Her bodyguard sighed and left her Captain to her own devices.

Captain Corsaire was in Gulper Bay to sell most of the loot he robbed from one of Danjur's cargo ships. After selling what he could, the pirate captain would then take the money and give it to his crew's family members and others in the kingdom who needed it more than he did. True, he did keep some for ship repairs and ammo, basic necessities as well, but most of the time, he kept very little for himself. His crew all knew his mission and were perfectly fine with being on the giving end instead of the receiving. After all, he had pulled all of them out of horrible situations and saw Corsaire as family. Tonight, he was treating his men to delicious tavern food, a game of darts, and a pint or two of the best beer of the seas.

"Cap'n," Rat approached Corsaire with some money earned by gambling on darts. Mojo and Juju never lost a game at darts, and to this day, still held their record. "You think we could use this to buy Seer some new boots? The ones he has are looking a little worn."

"Anyone else need anything?" Corsaire asked his quartermaster. "I think we've already stocked the kitchen."

"Acrobat's crutches have seen better days."

"All right, get him some new ones."

"We still have plenty leftover. Could buy your sisters something nice?"

"Nah, save it for the orphanage down the road." Corsaire took a sip of his drink. "Annie and Bonnie would rather have new seeds for their garden, I know how they are."

Adda noticed the freak with four arms first. That got her attention of the crew, lead by a scruffy looking rogue. Perhaps she’d test him out. Walking over she sat beside them with a devilish smile. “Hello boys. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here.”

"I don't reckon I've a-seen you either, miss." Rat was the utmost gentleman to women, even if that particular woman was a pirate. "Enjoying the bar?"

Pockets caught Adda staring and promptly blushed, turning his attention to Acrobat and insisting on a game of pool. The rigger saw his friend's problem, and entertained the notion of playing pool. Acrobat was painfully shy with women, considering he had four arms instead of the usual two. That, and he was a giant of a man, not many were bigger than him.

Corsaire, however, was not interested in Adda's playful nature and continued to write down the divisions of the loot in his small notebook.

“Thank you.” Adda didn’t like that Corsaire ignored her, so she decided to be a little playful. Turning her attention to Rat she tipped her hat. “You the Captain here? Look like a Captain. Tall, muscular, getting the deck scrubber to write out your notes.”

"No, Corsaire is the captain, I's the quartermaster."

"I don't need any of my brothers to write for me, especially considering that Seer cannot see." Corsaire did not even look up from his notebook. He nibbled at the end of his pen, thinking for a moment. If half the proceeds went to the orphanage, then he could take the other half and divide it between his men and their families with enough leftover for everything needed on the ship.

"The captain is a-little busy right now." Rat tried to turn Adda's attention somewhere else, knowing he hated to be bothered while running the numbers.

“What was your latest score?” Adda said, her gaze back on Corsaire.

"None of your business." Corsaire still ignored her. "Please leave, you're annoying me."

"Ah! Cap'n just wants to finish his a-work," Rat knew when his captain was starting to get in a bad mood. "You can talk to him a-later, hear the story of the kraken, and have drinks all a-round."

"Pretty lady no bother de captain when doing the numbers," Mojo told Adda as he tossed another dart into the bullseye. "He needs to think."

"And cal-cu-late." Juju had a thick accent just like his brother.

Adda raised an eyebrow at the brothers. Their accents were annoying. She looked back at Corsaire, her amusement starting to waver.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have come to a bar if you wanted to behave like a nerd and get your homework done. You have problems with doing numbers? Need the other kids to settle down so you can be a good boy? And a Kraken? You think killing some calamari is impressive to a lady?”

"I have problems doing numbers when a bitch with a mouth won't leave me alone when I'm clearly not interested in the booty she's so desperately trying to get me to fuck." Corsaire had lost his cool and shoved his notebook in his pocket. Standing from the table, he headed for the exit. "I'll be on the ship when you boys are done having a good time. Make sure you help Seer back to the docks."

"Oh sweet goddess of the seas," Rat took in a deep inhale. "Miss, I'll show you a-good time in the captain's absence, let me take you to the bar and buy you-a drink."

Adda glared at Corsaire now, more aware of the pistols at her side. She didn’t often let people insult her to her face sober. “I see you have a black spot on you. You lose any of your brothers in taking down a Kraken? Hear any of their bones crack and give a nice loud pop? That why you in a bad mood? Or you just a naturally born pussy with a splintered peg up your ugly ass.” She gave a chuckle, but it lacked any real humor in it. “And is sex the only thing you can naturally conclude? You’d be honoured to have sex with me, bitch. I suppose I’d have to find someone else to assist me in securing a legendary treasure.” Adda looked at Acrobat, giving a teasing smirk. “I think Mr. Goro here has a bigger brain than you on how to be smart around a lady who can carve and staple your face to a mast.”

The rest of the crew heard her mouth and instantly frowned. No one liked it when Corsaire was mocked about the kraken incident. Mojo and Juju stopped their game of darts as Acrobat and Pockets halted the shooting of pool. Seer, who was being seen to by Bomba, both looked up from their food. Rat, who had tried to be a gentleman before, was now angry. It was clearly seen on his face.

"Cap'n is a good man."

"More than you will evah be."

"Saved us, we his brothers!"

"And I-I-I'm not a G-G-Goro."

"Yeah, lady, don't call him names, it's bad enough you're staring."

"Cap'n only fucks a proper lady," Bomba zipped by Adda with a look up and down, and then turned his nose up. "Not one that smells of ass."

"Can we get out of here before someone gets killed?" Seer was dragged along beside Bomba, the blind man able to get around on his own, but it was difficult in small spaces with people.

Adda was surprised, a rarity for her. She looked over the crew that boldly spoke up to her. Akin to a shark, her eyes were still, like a doll’s eyes, the devil’s eyes. Her mind contemplated if this was an insult she would punish, or a joke that she could find enjoyable.

Looking these misfits over, and hearing Mojo’s accent again, she laughed. Her laugh echoed a young cockiness found only in Gerudo, and a dash of dark insanity, not unlike Ganondorf. Like a joke only she found was funny. “You are all an interesting bunch. Here.” She put a sack of extra jewels on the table and started to walk away. “Sorry for intruding on you and your merry men. Enjoy the entertainment around here. You’ve peeked my interest. I’ll be keeping a close eye on you. Or maybe I’ll just kill you.”

"Damn, Cap'n, she's a crazy bitch." Bomba whispered to Corsaire. "Why didn't ya just knock her lights out with dat arm of yours?"

"Because a whore like that isn't worth it." Corsaire gestured for his men to follow him out of the bar, leaving a generous tip for the barmaid. "She wanted to start something and I wasn't going to let her get the best of me."

"What should we a-do with the jewels?" Rat asked.

"Give them to the barmaid. She has three mouths to feed and her husband ran out on her." Corsaire instructed his quartermaster. "She could use it."

"Shall we get the sails ready, cap'n?" Acrobat inquired as he hobbled along with his crutches. "Go tonight?"

"No, we still have business tomorrow. Let's get some rest and I'll take first watch."

"As you say, cap'n."

Adda sat down, getting her first drink of the night. “What a mother fucker...”

Scarlet walked towards her, eyeing the crew as they left. “You want me to take care of them?”

“What? No, no.”

“But they insulted you!”

“People insult me all the time. I’m the Queen bitch of the seven seas....” She took a solemn drink at that.

Scarlet felt enraged. “I’m gonna knock his fucking teeth out.”

Adda shook her head. “Don’t. A crew of misfits isn’t worth the trouble. I think I’ll just forget about them. Need to focus on finding a dummy crew to help us with our main objective. We didn’t travel across the world to pick random fights with some losers.”

Scarlet ignored her, stomping over in her huge armour right up to Corsaire’s face. “Hey, you!”

"Cap'n doesn't want to be bothered right a-now, thank you." Rat stood in the armored woman's way. "Leave him alone, and go back to your leader, miss."

"She sounds really heavy." Seer noticed the clanking of metal. "What in the seven seas is she wearing?"

"It's a b-b-big suit of ar-armor." Pockets told the man. "Like someth-thing you'd see at a c-castle."

"She gave you her time you assholes. She's the Chieftain of the last great Gerudo tribe left. Show some respect to her. She deserved her spot at the top, fought for it fairly. AND she smells wonderful, unlike you, you tiny bandana wearing, ugly tanned grease ball." Stabbing her words carefully, she turned and gave a low growl like a panther towards Bomba on that last comment. Adda rolled her eyes and continued her drink. Scarlet liked to be her hype-woman, whether she wanted it or not. "So, when my Captain gives you a proposition for business, sex, or whatever the hell else she wants, you can at least give her your time to listen."

Adda touched her own Bandana under her hat. Scarlet wasn't the most observant, or smartest. She turned her attention to the bar fight she instigated, still raging on.

"Cap'n Corsaire doesn't have to give anyone his time." Bomba huffed, puffing up his chest like a turkey. The teenager wasn't the brightest of the bunch and was pulled back by Rat. "I'll have you know, you metal lunk, that no one gets respect just because of some damn title and a nice pair of titties!"

"She does have big boobies." Mojo muttered to his brother.

"Aye, dat she does." Juju nodded.

Rat tossed Bomba over his shoulder before the kid got his head knocked off his shoulders.

"Listen, lassie, we don't want any trouble." Rat was trying to be the peacemaker, but it was proving to be a difficult task. "Kindly go back to ye boss, and leave us be. I'm saying this politely, because you a-know nothing of the cap'n."

Using his crutches, Acrobat nudged at her leg and pushed aside.

"Come on guys, the women have ruined the buzz at this bar." He hobbled down the steps with Pockets following after him. "Some ruin it for the rest of us, I swear."

"You were doing... doing g-g-g-ood at pool this t-time!" Pockets agreed as he helped his friend with the stairs. "Some p-p-people like her and the other... other lady are just... m-mean!"

"If your boss wants a man, there's a brothel that way." Seer pointed down the wrong street.

"Other way, Seer."

"That direction, excuse me."

All the while, Corsaire was groaning internally, just wanting to be left alone.

If Scarlet wasn’t pissed before, the blind man did it for her now. No one, no one, made a comment about their crew and a brothel under any circumstance. The Iron Knuckle gave the blind man a sucker punch to the face. “You calling us prostitutes?! You’re fucking dead!”

Adda looked over, watching her first mate grab Bomba up high over her head to throw at Rat. “Oh fucking hell…”

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, HE'S BLIND!!!" Corsaire jumped into action as Rat caught Bomba and set the teenager on his feet. Seer was out cold from the punch, his nose spurting blood. Pockets grabbed the downed cook and kept Acrobat behind him. Mojo and Juju drew their pistols and were ready to shoot. Before Scarlet could throw a punch at Rat for being distracted with Bomba, Corsaire caught one of the Iron Knuckles' fists with his metal arm, the clang echoing through the bar. "I don't know what your problem is, or your damn boss', but you do not hit Seer!!! You can hit me as much as you like, but you don't attack my brother who cannot see!" With that, he swung with his free hand, catching her in the jaw. "I'll fucking kill you if you touch him again. You won't hurt him, no one will ever hurt him again, he's suffered enough!"

"He wasn't insinuating anything, you stupid bitch!" Bomba hollered. "He was just giving directions, all women go to find male prostitutes around here!"

"Cap'n, calm down!" Seer exclaimed as he groaned, holding his nose. Pockets managed to shake him awake. "I'm okay!"

"We're leaving. Now." Corsaire ordered his men. "Let's find Seer a doctor."

"Cap'n, I'm okay---"

"Doctor. No bickering."

"... fine."

With that, the crew headed into town in search of a healer.

Scarlet grabbed Rat by the shirt, throwing him to the side. With a growl she put her helmet on. “I gave you a handicap. My mistake. You insulted my sister again and again. I’m going to collect a cup of blood from you for every insult you threw.” She measured a litre with her hands. The ironed giant threw a heavy swing at the old gladiator.

"Damn it, woman, what is your problem?!" Rat caught the swing and stopped Scarlet's movements. "Leave us alone!"

Mojo and Juju had had enough of this ignorance. While Rat caught the swing, Mojo let off one bullet, nicking Scarlet's head to get her attention, the helmet ringing like crazy, while Juju scraped her hand with a bullet. "Look, they miss... on purpose, lady. The next one will be in your head."

"I'll ask only once more or I'll give my men permission to take you down." Corsaire glared at Scarlet as he held Seer around the shoulders. "Leave us alone."

“Go to fucking-“ A shot rang out from Adda’s gun, ricocheting off Scarlets armour, the bullet going past Corsaire’s nose. Adda clicked the second shot ready to go in a instant. “Scarlet! What did I say!”

“But, Captain, they-“ A second shot ran off, into the one exposed part of her armour around her thigh. Scarlet cried out as she dropped down. “I don’t want to hear another goddamn ‘but’ out of you. I told you to leave them alone. You disobeyed an order and got into a fight, where you most likely would have gotten killed. But worse, you damaged my authority by disobeying me. You showed others that you don’t respect my leadership.”

Scarlet was crying now from all the pain, as well as disappointing Adda. “N-no Captain. I’m sorry. I just wanted to make them understand.”

“Understand what? That our crew goes around beating the shit out of cute blind men? What’s next, deaf elderly?”

“T-they insulted you.”

Adda shakes her head. “And it’s my call if I want to tear all four arms off the stuttering man or make a skin carpet out of the albino. You do not act out of term. Now I have to deal with the ‘code’, on why a gun fight broke out on ‘neutral ground’. Maybe even get exiled from this particular port. And that’s on you.”

“A-are you going to kill me?”

Adda tapped her gun. It was just her, Scarlet, and Corsaire’s crew watching. “No. Not today. But don’t you ever disobey me again. Now pick yourself up, apologize, stop sobbing, go find yourself a medic, and go back to the ship.”

Scarlet nodded, saying sorry over and over to each crew member. As she hobbled off, Adda twirled her gun back into her holster. “Apologies for your blind Voe’s injury. We can talk about his medical bill in the morning. See you around....”

As the two woman left, Adda sighed. “What the hell were you thinking girl?”

“I’m sorry Captain…”

“It’s ok. Let’s get you patched up…”

The crew felt their adrenaline drop as the Gerudo walked off. Bomba expressed the feeling in the air perfectly.

“What the HELL just happened here?”

~

It was an eventful night to say the least. After taking Seer to the doctor, where it was confirmed that he had a broken nose, the crew returned to the ship. After seeing Seer to bed to rest and recover, the rest of the men agreed to get some sleep while the captain took first watch. It was the first night in port in weeks, and the crew were more than ready to rest. As the men retired to their beds, Corsaire sat on the ledge while playing his harmonica. It was a quiet night and the stars were absolutely stunning. He blew a note or two and then leaned back against the rigging. Sighing, the captain traced the constellations with his fingers as he hummed.

"Dark and dangerous, deep and low,

Whispers of a treasure trove,

The sea witch and her serpent show,

To drag you to hell below.

Krakens, maelstroms, the witch's sea,

Hear my cry, hear my plea,

Water spirit of my dreams,

Take me home, on the blue wave's gleam."

Adda felt an odd sense of guilt. She should of approached finding help more directly. But pirates, let alone her, don’t ask for help outright. They need to be smart, manipulative. But in doing so she might have caused more trouble than she wanted. After calming Scarlet down from her wounds and knowing the rest of her crew were settled for the night, she asked around and took some bottles with her as she walked down the docks. The stars were indeed beautiful, and she needed some fresh air. Hearing the harmonica as she approached, she chuckled. Of course, the gruff rogue was a musician. She started to swagger up to the draw bridge to Corsaire’s deck.

"Oh fucking hell, no." Corsaire saw Adda trying to walk up the draw bridge and promptly jumped off the rigging onto the wobbly plank. The board bounced from his added weight and he had his hand on his pistol. He was ready for a fight if there was going to be one. "There ain't no way in the water spirit's good name that I'm letting the likes of you on me ship!" He glared at Adda. "Seer already has a broken nose, I ain't letting anyone else of me mates get hurt because someone doesn't like to be ignored." The captain always had his crew's interest at heart. "What do you want? I have half a mind to give you a broken nose, but I don't start fights with ladies unless I have to."

Adda steadied herself on the board, a little wobbly from a head start of drinking. She was a heavy weight, but if she wasn’t careful, she could fall into the water. “I came here to offer you a drink. I asked around and was told you’re a man of fine rum. Until I was told you’d rather enjoy whisky. So I brought both. As my way of saying sorry for the unnecessary trouble I brought. Think of this as wanting to restart a first impression.” She took out two thick bottles, a rum and whisky in each hand.

"...?" Corsaire was a little taken aback. He was not expecting this brash woman to come with drinks, much less offer an apology of sorts. Maybe someone knocked her silly or she was drunk. He was not sure what to think. "While I appreciate the offer of alcohol, I won't drink when I'm on watch. My brothers count on me." The captain declined the drink and then said, "However, that doesn't mean I cannot enjoy it later. If it doesn't offend your senses, I'll keep my whisky for a more appropriate time."

“Is the password ‘please’ for me to come aboard?” She said as she wiggled both bottles.

"Me ship's a jealous mistress, lass." Corsaire then gestured to the docks. "She's not called the Sea Witch for nothing. You think I want to risk her wrath?"

“Awwww, she can’t fit in another woman? Never know, she might like it~” Adda toned it down a little. “I’m not gonna hurt any of your brothers. Both them and my girls should be able to rest easy tonight. Now can I come aboard?”

"No." Corsaire was not buying into her attempt at flirting. When she asked again to come aboard, this time more serious, he crossed his arms, debating for a moment. Finally, he relented, begrudgingly, simply because she brought a peace offering. Snatching the whisky, he said, "On deck only."

“Got it. Want to pull up the bridge? Can help you relax more.” Adda walked up around the deck, feeling the wood below her. “Any story behind this Sea Witch? It see a dreaded battle? Acquired from a deal with an actual sea witch?”

"Nay, I leave it in case we need to exit in a hurry. Can't jump overboard with Seer, he cannot see where to swim, and Acrobat can't swim due to his legs." Corsaire did not have any chairs on deck so he simply pulled up a barrel for Adda to sit upon for the time being. "I built this ship with my quartermaster after my run-in with“...I’m sorry about making that crack at you. I was pissed that I hadn’t gained your attention. I know my own grievances about sea monsters....” Adda sat down and popped open the rum for the two of them. the kraken. Named her after the dreaded sea witch that took down me mentors."

“I’m sorry about making that crack at you. I was pissed that I hadn’t gained your attention. I know my own grievances about sea monsters.” Adda sat down and popped open the rum for the two of them.

"Some believe the story and others don't. It's not up to me whether the landlubbers think the Kraken is real or not." Corsaire took a spot on the opposite barrel. "I know it's real and I know better now than to ever mess with one of its kind again."

“I’d believe your tale if you’d believe mine. Why’d you fight a Kraken anyways? Was there a woman, a treasure, glory...or just in the wrong place at the wrong time?”

"Treasure and greed, lassie." Corsaire was honest, he saw no reason to lie. "Took me first crew to its lair, thought the story was a bunch of hogwash. Rat was the only sensible one to stay away. Took one of the lifeboats off the ship and stayed outside the cave." He chuckled halfheartedly. "That's the only time he ever disobeyed me. I lost me crew, lost me arm, but I blew that son of a bitch to kingdom come."

“So you actually killed your monster. Admirable. You feed the squidy some firepower?” Adda had a laugh, pouring them two drinks.

"Nah, it actually was devouring the first ship I stole." Corsaire shook his head at the drink, knowing he was on duty. "Several boxes of gunpowder fell into its mouth. I shot the box before it could eat me."

“Good thinking. Shame about your crew. They die quickly though?”

"Some drowned, some were crushed, and others were eaten." Corsaire shuddered to think about it. "Didn't really know the men, just said they could have whatever they could carry if we succeeded in finding the treasure. Rat rowed me back to land before I died and bargained for me this arm." He pulled off his glove, showing his metal fingers and wriggled them. "Some islander magic”, he said. “Lor-Lee-Li something... found it in a market and bought it for me."

“That’s the arm you threatened to punch me with hon?” Adda examined it, trailing her fingers down his mechanical bicep. “Nice craftsmanship.”

"It's not for sale, if that's what you're going to ask next." Corsaire snorted as she touched the metal, not able to sense her touch with the fake limb. "All I know is Rat said it was elemental magic from some island. Won't melt, won't break, just needs a good cleaning here and there." He put his glove back on his hand. "Banthorarium I think it was called."

“Don’t want to buy it. Now, my brave little Captain, it’s my turn to tell a story.” Adda stood up, taking another drink. “You ever hear of the infamous narrow trench?”

"Aye, I have. Sirens be there." Corsaire nodded.

“To us Gerudo, the charms of a siren are lost on us. But that is not the danger that concerned me was there. In this trench, in order to pass through, you must negotiate a narrow strait. Let me ask you a question Captain. Given the option, would you take a route that would chance either complete survival or complete destruction of you, your ship and crew, or take a choice to willingly sacrifice a member of your crew, but guarantee the rest of you and the surviving crew safe passage?”

"My crew, me mates, are my brothers." Corsaire told Adda as he crossed his arms and leaned back against the other barrels. "They'd lay down their lives for me and I'd do the same for them. I'd never willingly sacrifice one. We'd take the risk; all together alive or die together."

“HA! So you’d take the choice I didn’t make.” Adda looked back at the stars. “When I first became Captain, I took my crew on a large expedition, stealing from some rich snobs. They sent a navy after us, so I decided to take a quick shortcut to avoid capture. I was previously told of the story of Scylla and Charybdis. Scylla was a six headed sea monster who would eat members of ships that passed by. Charybdis was an even fiercer entity, who used hurricanes and whirlpools to swallow whole ships. On the left side of the ship we saw the storms. On the right, calmer waters. I took the crew through the right path. Like hell was I going to take us through the storm. Yes, I had a chance for all of us to survive, but we might have all died as well. Besides...” Adda took her sword out and made fancy sword play. “We were badass Gerudo warriors! The deadliest female crew of pirates to ever live! We could take down a monster of the physical flesh.” She stabbed her sword into her sheath, shrugging her shoulders. “Oh how wrong I was. Scylla shot forth from the water’s depths. It had this terrifying appearance. I could make out what was once human, I think. It was so uncanny. It shot forward, eating two crew members immediately. It just kept chewing them, slowly. The screams....god those screams.” Adda took another swig of her rum. “We fired enough cannon fire at the other heads and used our might to stay alive, but they just wouldn’t die. That was when the monster started attacking my ship, pushing it towards the left part of the straight towards Charybdis. It wouldn’t be denied it’s meal. So.... I made a choice. I shot four of my members in the feet and back. Scylla accepted the offering and ate them. With all six of her heads fed, she let us through. I had to make a sacrifice, right on the spot at such a young age.” Adda relaxed onto the barrel again. “Now, whenever I have to go through there again, I make sure I have the right sacrifices. I don’t want to sacrifice my sisters ever again.”

"Captains make mistakes and we pay for it then or later. It will always haunt us." Corsaire knew that at the time, Adda did what she felt she had to do to ensure the  survival of the majority of her crew. "Once, I might have made the choice you did if I ended up like my mentors. They started out on a good path... but by the end were lying, kidnapping, murdering rapists." He recalled the faces of the captain brothers, Azir and Hizir. "My own brother fell under their impression and he, too, lost his life by the sea witch along with our mentors. Perhaps if I had simply dragged my brother off their ship, he'd still be with me... or not. I'll never know for sure." He shrugged slightly, and then added, "But what I do know is no captain is perfect. I've made plenty of mistakes, mistakes that cost me and my crew. Yet, through the maelstroms of it all, they've stuck with me. I couldn't ask for a better band of brothers."

“You think you’re a good man? Above your mentors? Me? Or any other pirate?” Adda asked in a good tongue and cheek, philosophical way.

"No." Corsaire answered honestly as he fixed his tilted hat. "But I try to be the good man my crew thinks I am."

“That’s cute. You’re cute.” Adda sat her drink down. “I saw that you gave the jewels I presented to you to that single barmaid. That’s very....charitable. Why do you do it? And please don’t tell me it was out of the good of your heart. Everyone has an ulterior motive....you like her?”

"Dahlia has three kids, young ones with mouths to feed." Corsaire told Adda, having seen the little ones in the bar before when the babysitter dropped them off for the barmaid. "I know what it is like to be hungry, and no, Dahlia doesn't interest me in that way. Her focus is her children, the way it should be." He explained to Adda. "True, I could have used the jewels for my ship's necessities, or I could have spent it for Seer's nose. Yet, the money had needs elsewhere and I have the ability to pickpocket, raid, or steal whenever I please. Miss Dahlia does not."

“Ha. Never said if you like her you devil.” Adda took her hat off, followed by taking Corsaire’s off with a quick snag. Her long beautiful red hair flowed in the wind. Taking a breath of the sea she smiled at the Voe. “The sea is calming, isn’t it. I got another peace offering for your crew, if you’re interested.”

"I admire her, but romantic interest? No." Corsaire knew the woman would not shut up until he answered. "If it's more alcohol, I'm sure they'll oblige."

“I’m not flirting myself when I say this, but when’s the last time you or your men have had sex?”

"That... is something I actually do not keep track of with my men." Corsaire snorted, trying to hold back a laugh. "As for myself, it's usually the last time we're in port."

“This would be to make up for the fighting and have you not make any report against me. But I could persuade my crew to mingle with your crew. Nice environment, safety, few drinks here and there. Some of my own crew has been blue balled, even tonight.” She gave a chuckle. “Go really easy on the shy guys in your crew. Give them a night they wouldn’t forget. Hell, they could even pick out who they’d like. Just don’t make any comments about whores, prostitution or brothels, and it could be a fun time for all. How’s that sound?”

"Pfffffttt..." Corsaire had to hold back a laugh at her phrasing, knowing it was rough to have a declination of intercourse. "Pockets and Seer are the two most shy men on ship, but Pockets is the shiest man on the planet, I swear, he turns red if a lady holds his hand!"

“How much you bet he’d faint in one of my girls’ arms as they carried him off to bed~” Adda stifled a loud laugh she wanted to get out of her system.

"Oh, there's no need to bet, he fainted when a lady kissed his cheek for carrying her groceries!" Corsaire tried to keep his snickers to a minimum. "He's got a pure heart, that's for sure."

“Then you won’t object to the offer.” Adda put on his hat. Turned out to be a very good fit.

"Object to..." Corsaire paused his words as the lady adjusted his hat. Why did the women always go for his hat? Was it a secret kink among the girls or something? He cleared his throat, deciding to play dumb. "What offer?"

Adda walked around him, trailing a finger under his chin. “The type where after we undress you of your clothing and have our fun, we get to keep a trinket or cloth to remember you by.” She gave a hardy grin, feeling the rim of his hat and ready to move if he grabbed for it. “Think I’d keep your hat. Add a peacock feather to it!”

"You have a very descriptive definition of fun." Corsaire chuckled as she tried to tempt him and then stood. "And I'd sooner let you keep me treasure," He placed his hands on her hips, one running up her back, getting closer, lips almost touching. "then keep me hat." With a quick tip of his fingers, he flipped the hat off her head onto his.

Adda allowed him to lay his hands on her. They were firm. "I could settle for that too. I like this look...." One hand held him by the belt, the other firmly holding his back.

"Though... my crew, they get a touch lonely too, you know." Corsaire nearly jolted when she squeezed his ass. "We could always arrange for somewhere more so... suited for nightly activities."

"I know a proper quiet hotel on this island. I can get us all some nice quarters. Or just settle for staying on my ship~" She grinned as his face crumbled for a moment at her squeeze. She reached down and squeezed the front of his pants too. "You know, usually I challenge men to a sword fight, cut their pants down and make them submit. All I had to do was walk onto your ship and you were mine!"

Corsaire was not exactly a fan of submitting to a woman he did not know. For all he knew, this could be a trick to slit his throat after the deed was done. He had heard of some women seducing men, then killing the poor sap, and taking off with all the money. He was about to nicely decline the offer of meeting on a turf she knew when he heard footsteps coming up from the cabins.

"Captain?" It was Seer. What was he doing up this late? "I sense someone else on the boat."

Adda was like a cat when it came to having sex with men. When she was hungry, she'd consume as many as she could. If they were especially tasty looking they were hers. The Captain liked to play with them before digging in as well. People were consumables to her. Be it for money, sex, or just an able body to use. And seeing the blind man come up, she gave a smile, wrapping an arm around Corsiare's shoulder, standing side by side with him. "Hello there dear. Seer was it? Glad to see you up and about after that little scuffle earlier evening."

"...? Wait... you're the lady from earlier this evening. The one that smells like brimstone and metal." Seer wondered why Corsaire allowed her on the ship. “What was going on? ... I'd prefer not to be punched again."

"No, no, the lady is just here for an apology." Corsaire quickly told Seer, taking this chance to turn from Adda and check on his crew member. "You should be resting."

"I was... until I sensed her."

"I'm here for your whole crew my man. By next week I won't even be in this particular ocean. Felt wrong not to give you and the rest of your brothers a.... proper apology." She slowly trailed a finger down his open upper chest. "Corsaire, why don't you wake the crew. It's not even midnight yet."

"Um... whole crew?" Seer repeated her words, not understanding what she meant until that finger traced down his chest. His white skin turned bright red in the cheeks. Usually women were not so forward with him unless she had a kink of some kind. "M'am, you know, that's mighty kind of you, but I'm sure a nice lady like yourself has a more suitable bed... partner..."

"Seer, are you seriously being shy when the lady is interested in you?" Corsaire knew the man was a touch shy, but then again, he always was very tipsy when he ended up in bed with another lady. "Just say hello before you go straight for the boobs, okay?"

"I did not---!!!"

"You were tipsy that one time and told a lady she had a fantastic pair of tits. I thought you were going to get slapped but she actually liked that."

"Depends on the woman." Adda trailed a finger down the side of Seer's cheek. "You were right Corsaire, he is a shy one. Give me a moment with him while you get the rest of your boys?"

"I think they'll definitely take you up on your offer." Corsaire laughed the way Seer kept turning so red. "Now, be nice to Seer. He's not normally one to flirt with ladies until he's had a few."

"Captain!!!" Seer protested. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm helping you get laid, I'll be back in a second... or minutes..."

Watching Corsaire go below deck, Adda gave a chuckle. "You seem like a nice kid. How old are you?" The poor man felt himself be pulled waist to waist with the tall Gerudo Captain. She wasn't a massive giant like some of her tribe, but at just over six feet, she was peak to most average men. Luckily, Seer matched her in height.

"Um... I really don't know?" Seer answered honestly with a sheepish grin as she pulled him close. "I think I'm around maybe twenty-two... or twenty-three. Maybe older, maybe younger, I'm not sure."

"Twenty-Five myself. I think you're cute. Sorry my best friend punched you in the face. I heard the blind have the rest of their senses heightened." Her hands held his sides for support as she leaned in to give him a deep kiss. Her lips were like strawberries, her breathe fresh and savoury.

Seer was nearly at full attention from that deep kiss. Other senses being heightened, Adda was definitely right about that. Perhaps he was a little too eager when turned on, simply picking Adda up underneath her ass and feeling that glorious backside.

Adda had the booty and the rack to bring heaven to any man. She lathered her tongue with him, pulling away for the tease. "So tell me, how did THAT feel~"

"I'm not sure I have the proper words for it, but I think I'm going to settle with amazing for right now." Seer said breathlessly. "I'd like for it to happen again."

"Alright. You want to wait for your brothers to wake up or do you want to get out of here now~?" Adda tugged at his belt, a Cheshire grin on her face.

"You know I can't see, right?" Seer liked to use a little jest here and there. "You'll definitely have to 'lead' the way."

"Then let's go~" Adda held his hand down to the docks and whistled for her ride. A gerudo on a mechanical skid boat steered in. It was made of Termina technology. Simple for quick on the shore transport, and easily attachable to the main ship. "Easy steps honey."

Once in the boat Adda sat him down, taking her own seat beside him. "Hold onto me tight, ok~"

"Oh sweet Water Spirit..." Seer nearly cursed under his breath as the boat moved so suddenly. The noise was rattling in his ears and he felt a little uneasy by all the metal. He was used to Corsaire's ship. The cook gripped Adda a little tightly.

Adda saw Corsaire getting up onto the deck again, waving him goodbye. “Too slow~ Meet you at my ship! You can’t miss it!”

Giving a laugh she held the nervous cook back.

Once the boat slowed, Seer felt like he could breathe much easier. His senses were not being rattled. Corsaire and the rest of the crew would be along soon enough. Though he was not exactly sure what this captain saw in him.

The small speedboat pulled up to its destination. Her ship was unlike many in this ocean. It was large, made of metal, yet floated with grace. It was painted to look like black charcoal wood, and the sails had a magical shimmer to them. Her flag was an old Gerudo symbol, forgotten to even her. To Adda, it looked cool and held significance that marked it as her own. As the small speed boat was pulled up to the side of the ship, Adda stepped onto the large open deck, and her crew cheered.

“Captain! You did it!”

��Others coming?”

“Ooooo, he looks cute~”

“That the guy Scarlet punched? Poor lad.”

“Can we share him?”

Adda waved both her hands downwards to silence them. “Ey! The other boys should be on their way. This handsome fellow is mine though. So is their Captain if he has the balls to challenge me. Come on Mr. Cook. I’ll walk you up to my quarters.”

There were so many women, too many women. Seer gulped down his nervousness as the women pawed at him, feeling their touchy feely hands. He nearly jumped out of his skin as one groped his backside. What fresh hell had Adda brought him into now? Thankfully, the captain told the rest of the women to back off as she led him to her quarters.

“You don’t get off on drugs do you?”

"No! No drugs!" Seer reacted negatively to the mention of any substance. He shook his head insistently. "No drugs, or I go."

Adda squeezed his hand. “Good.  Means that I don’t have to worry about some junkie not wanting to focus on me or trying anything stupid.” Adda opened the door to her quarters for Seer. First room was an office, with trophies all over the walls. Second room was her bedroom. The bed was a King Sized mattress with the softest sheets and blankets Seer had ever felt when she sat him down. “You don’t have to worry about a thing.”

"8 steps... from the door to this room and... 10 steps to the bed." Seer counted as a habit. He knew every inch of Corsaire's ship, and this was foreign territory. Once Seer felt the sheets, his hands carefully smoothed the material before sitting on the mattress. "You know, I'm not usually the pick of the litter, if you know what I mean." His head turned in her direction.

“You mentioned that. You got self-esteem issues?”

"Not really, I don't mind being blind." Seer admitted. "I'm just curious as to why."

“I can tell when a man doesn’t want it. Your Captain was chivalrous, but it seemed he wasn’t into me. His loss....and your gain.”

"All the men have their particular tastes." Seer told Adda. "You, however, I think will be all right because... you smell nice."

A knock came at her door, Scarlet’s nervous voice calling out. “Captain. The rest of the men arrived.”

“Ey! Seer. Wait right here. Just want to settle your brothers in.”

Adda walked to the quarter deck, a lot of the Gerudo woman eyeing Corsaire and his men. “Hello boys. Welcome aboard!”

Once the men were on the ship, Corsaire had to admit it was a nice setup.

Hard drinks, fine wines, and other fruity beverages had been set up. Adda shook Corsaire’s hand. “Your lad’s waiting on me, so let’s make this quick. No one does anything stupid, like kleptomania. Besides, you don’t want to steal from a band of thieves. Two, play nice, and we’ll treat you nice~”

"Pirates stealing from other pirates sounds like a bad story." Corsaire told Adda with a small smirk. "We'll keep this civil."

“Good.” She gave his side a tap, and spun around to address the crews of both crew. “Alright ladies! You wanna have fun!?”

“YEAH!!!” The cry echoed the night. Adda dramatically spun to the men, snapping her fingers with a pose. She had a flare for the dramatic. “What about you Gentlemen!?”

They gave a hell yes right back. This was certainly going to be an interesting night. All the men seemed eager to get to know and romance the ladies before finding a potential bedmate.

Adda pointed to Rat, giving Scarlet a big smack on the ass. Her first mate yelped, blushing red in the face. “What about you two? Maybe take some time making up for earlier tonight?”

“C-captain? You don’t need to-“

“Phhhhhh I insist. It will be good for you Scarlet.”

Scarlet was dumbstruck, slowly turning to Rat. “H-hi....sorry for picking a fight.”

"...? Me?" Rat pointed to himself when Adda suggested he hook up with Scarlet. "I'm very a-flattered, but tis the ladies' job to chose her partner."

"Pfffttt," Corsaire tried to keep from laughing at Rat's surprised face. "Just go with it for once, Rat."

Adda pushed Scarlet towards Rat, and the two of them started to slowly talk. Adda winked to Corsaire. “I’d offer a room, but I get the feeling you’re not into Queens when you see one~”

"All men have certain preferences, Adda, you can't fault me for that." Corsaire chuckled half-heartedly. "I think your girls and my crew will have a good time."

“Well, one day you’re gonna kick yourself in the ass for not being with a beautiful Gerudo when you find one. And with how the population is, you might never get the chance again. Have fun regardless. There’s an empty room you can stay in. That is unless you change your mind~”

Adda pulled him close for a quick teasing peck on the lips, walking back to her bedroom.

Her crew was having the time of their lives with Corsaire’s crew. The men were so charming, some even funny. With poor timid Pockets, a group took their time coaxing him into a good time. But now it was Adda’s turn to enjoy her chosen prey. Taking off her clothes, she smiled down at Seer. It was a damn shame he couldn’t see anything. Took the fun out of an exotic and slow strip tease, but she supposed it couldn’t be helped. “I hope I didn’t tease you too long with the wait.”

"No," Seer was feeling the embroidery on the sheets. He had never learned to read or write, but could recognize certain letters from his years with Corsaire. Brail books were rare, and the few that he had on the ship were the courtesy of his captain trying to teach him how to read. This language, however, he did not know. "What does it say?"

“It means Power. For the Gerudo, Power became synonymous with the Gerudo King of Hyrule, Ganondorf. The tribes of Termina have luckily never met him, because I imagine if we did, we’d be challenged, and either wiped out, or forced to obey him. Being Captain means I am the Chieftain of the Terminia Gerudo Pirate Clan. So as far as I am concerned, I am the Queen to my people just as he was King. I am Power itself.”

She gripped his shirt, and with a solid pull, tore it in two with a loud rip of the fabric. Men usually loved this move or were terrified by it. Regardless, it got Adda off. What held Adda’s interest, was that she was intrigued by Seer being invested in her culture, as little as he could be though.

"Whoa!" Seer was certainly surprised by her simply ripping open his shirt. That was not a move he expected. Though she was a pushy woman and got what she wanted from the sound of it. He was not as buff as some of the other men like Rat or Pockets, but still possessed a good amount of lean muscle.

“Scarlet’s punches are like kitten swipes compared to me. It’s all about how you apply yourself. Now, let’s get the rest so you can match me~” With a purr, Adda took down his pants. Eyeing him over now, he was a very pretty sight. His white skin, coupled with a slimmer body and beautiful dark hair made him an ideal candidate for the pirate. “You want me to describe myself to you? I promise it’s all truth~”

"I'll take your word for it, but I wouldn't want to test it to find out." Seer jested in good humor at Adda's statement. He had been punched once today and that was plenty enough in his book. "Why describe when I can just feel?" His hands carefully found her warm skin. Though his fingers did not go down to her backside, rather up to her face. His calloused fingers gently traced over her jawbone and around her features, feeling the area around her nose and her soft lips. One finger twirled around a lock of her hair, feeling the silky texture. "Warm... and soft."

Adda was expecting him to get touchy as she leaned closer, but she was taken aback by him slowly exploring her face and hair. “Why are you feeling up there?”

"I want to 'see' how you look." Seer explained to the captain. "A female's anatomy is pretty much the same with just a variance in size... but the face, that's the true treasure." The blind man's fingers then slowly left her face. "I can picture what you look like in my mind with my hands. I can sense what you're like by how you smell, the sound of your walk, how words flow from your mouth, the grin with your laugh... it's not too hard to know you're beautiful despite not being able to see."

Adda’s bravado and spunk was gone for a moment in time. In her place was a young woman completely moved by Seer’s words. Her faced softened, and her eyes grew with wonder. How long had it been since someone had spoken to her that way? Too long, too long indeed. Coming back to reality, she held him close. “Trust me when I say this. I think I really like you Seer.” With a deep kiss, the Gerudo woman straddled him, followed by the most passionate night of the man’s life.

~

The night had been glorious for all the men onboard. Gerudo woman came in a variety of charms, and excelled at their beauty. Sleeping with Rat, Scarlet was happy being cozy in the giant mans arms, having never been with someone so big before, and in more ways than one.

The man who had the most fulfilling night though was undeniably Seer. He experienced sober love making like never before. Adda was fiery, tight, and gave him everything a man could want in a passionate night. They had to have kept going even as everyone else went to bed. Filthy with sweat and other nightly coatings, Adda was the first to wake.

Seer had proven quite capable in bed and, in the privacy of her own quarters, she allowed herself to stew on his kindness. It was rare, and something she forgot existed. In this kill or be killed world, it would no doubt get him killed, but she thought it was sweet nonetheless. Her naked body felt so sensitive, even now as she brushed against him. “You beautiful Voe... maybe I can talk to your Captain about you staying on my ship....”

Adda was shocked by herself at muttering such words. He was good, in so many ways, but she wasn’t going to so easily give up her heart for any Voe.

"I appreciate your thoughtfulness," Seer was laying there with his eyes closed, still not wanting to move from the bed. He was comfortable, warm, and these sheets were a slice of heaven. Not to mention, he was not quite ready to leave the company of the beautiful captain. "Though I cannot leave Captain Corsaire, not after all he's done for me. I think you are very lovely, Adda, yet I am not ready to leave just yet. I hope you understand."

Adda was glad he couldn’t see her flare up in embarrassment. “You... weren’t supposed to hear that.”

"I'm blind, Adda, not deaf. Or have you forgotten from having your mind blown last night?" Seer grinned, only teasing in good humor. "... I think I can even hear your face turning red from all the blood rushing to your cheeks."

“Oh shut up.” She crawled on top, giving him a deep kiss. For an extra tease she rubbed her body against him. “I was the best damn experience you ever had~”

His white skin was stained red from multiple love bites, and his hips bruised from the more physical aspects of the night. Adda was incredibly proud of the canvas she painted.

"Love making, yes. Wrestling? I think Rat might have you beat on that." Seer snickered as Adda's warm body pressed against his own. "There is something to be said about all those nips you gave me. I think you definitely hold the record for that, my lady."

“Good.” Her hand trailed his shaft when she heard a knock at her door. With a grin, she held his hand to get one more touch of her perfect breasts. “Mmmm, stay here.”

Getting up, she quickly put on the bare clothing she needed with some baggy pants, a bra, and her hat. Opening the door, she smiled at Corsaire. She hoped he would be jealous. “Ey Cap. Here to check in on your lad?”

"I'm alive, Captain." Seer said from the bed with a chuckle. "She didn't kill me."

"Well, I'm glad you're all fine and dandy, my boy, but we need to head out." Corsaire leaned against the door frame. "We have a Danjuran cargo ship heading along our route."

"I understand, Captain."

Adda quirked an eyebrow. Maybe now she could get what she wanted when they first met. “What if I can offer something better?”

"I'm not into a threesome with another man if that's what you're suggesting." Corsaire teased lightly.

The Gerudo captain chuckled, a more serious tone flexing from her voice. Games were over now for her. “How’d you like treasure more valuable than gold or jewels.”

"I'm listening."

Adda went to get fully changed, teasing Covarog with her naked body as she got herself into fresh clothing. “You see my sails there Corsaire?”

"I see the carpet matches the drapes."

"Captain, please!" Seer was feeling around trying to find his own clothes and accidently picked up one of Adda's bras. Clearing his throat, he folded the underwear neatly before placing it on her bed and continuing to search. "Be serious for once."

“You can keep it if you’d like~”

Adda gave him one of her shirts as well and patted Seer, fuelling his shy embarrassment.

Now clothed, the Captain walked onto the main deck. “Up above you are one of fives magical sets known as the Swift Sail. You can’t burn or tear it, and it will sail perfectly in any direction, no matter the air resistance. In my travels I’ve discovered two other sets. Both of which I’ve promptly locked up and dropped into the sea. Rather not have anyone else have the advantage I have.” She turned to Corsaire with another dramatic spin. “However, a ship I’ve been tracking for a while has the fourth set. You help me raid this ship, and along with splitting the rest of the jewels in half, I will allow you to keep the Swift Sail for yourself.”

"Hrm... sounds a little too good to be true.” Corsaire crossed his arms. "How do I know you'll not betray me? I'm not known to work with other pirates because I've been double crossed before."

“Because on this ship that we’ll attack, there’s a much bigger prize that I desire. I can’t achieve my goal without another crew to help me pincer in my target.”

Adda took her gun, firing a bullet to not only wake her crew, but demonstrate that the sail could not be torn. “It’s like the saying goes. There’s honour amongst thieves. I can guarantee they hold the full set. I can guarantee the rest of the treasure they hold can make your crew very happy men. So trust me.”

"Hrm... what do you think, Seer?"

"Me, Captain?"

"You're the one that spent the night with her, what do you think?" Corsaire asked the cook. He knew about Seer's ability to 'read' people, to sense their thoughts, whether it was honest intentions or not. "Should I trust her?"

"Well... she was kind to me, Captain. Her words are sincere, from what I sense." Seer spoke as he finished putting on his clothes, but was having trouble with the shirt. Button up shirts were his worst enemy. He was off by one button. "If she was going to betray you, I would detect more malice. I do not sense any."

"... very well." Corsaire trusted his crewmate. "If Seer thinks you're good... then I suppose you are."

“Good. Very good.”

Adda was so close to achieving her dominance of the sea.

~

It took a day’s travel, both crews working with each other in sequence. Their target was an imperial ship of some rich nation. The ship was small, but very fast. Adda was right when she said her ship couldn’t catch it on its own, but with Corsaire’s help, the two ships trapped their quarry at the mouth of a river. That was when the bloodbath commenced. Adda was ruthless, her cannon fire crippling the lower decks of the ship, forcing it to beach itself. She used mortar fire to take care of any who dared flee onto the land. Her boarding party swept aboard and Adda showed off her terrifying power with a blade. With great laughter and snark, she duelled her way forward. Corsaire witnessed her exchange blows with the enemy captain, the man cursing the pirates to his dying breath. It was obvious that Adda was toying with him. When she was finally bored, she pulled out her revolver in the middle of the sword duel and shot her opponent in the knee cap. As the man screamed she took his suffering in with a deep breath, and silenced him with another shot to the head. Soon enough a number of men had surrendered, being round up on the main deck. Adda took extreme satisfaction from her work as a pirate. After finishing her afterglow of the victory, she signalled Corsaire to come aboard.

Adda was ruthless, that was for sure. If at all possible, he tried to avoid killing, but it seemed Adda and her crew rather enjoyed it. Once on board, Corsaire made sure that he took only a few men, leaving the rest on his ship. Rat and Pockets were beside of him, while the rest stayed on board the Sea Witch. Once Adda had her treasure, then he would go his separate way.

"You find it?"

“Give me a moment.” Adda eyed the men that were still alive. “Hmm. You’re cute. Ladies take him, and five others. You know what to do with the rest.”

They gave their Captain a nod, and put six men onto the Gerudo ship. The other were dragged over to the edge of their ship, having their necks slit and thrown into the river. Crocodiles tore into the corpses as they fell in.

Kicking down the treasury door, Adda pointed out the treasure she wanted Scarlet to divide. The first mate started counting the treasure boxes, finding a large massive rolled up sail. With a smile, she handed it to Rat. To tell the truth, she was forming a crush. “Here you go Mousa.”

"Thank you, lassie." Rat took the sail as Pockets started to load the divided treasure onto the Sea Witch. "And I's a ratty... not a mousa." He winked at her. "Not meek like a mousa either. Then again, you know that."

"Is it necessary to kill everyone?" Corsaire felt his hairs stand up on his neck when the women so casually killed the men and fed them to crocodiles. "Or is this not to leave any loose ends?"

“Lack of loose ends. Those six will make a good distraction for Scylla when we return to home waters. You aren’t worried, are you?” Adda cracked a smile, sneaking malice in it to purposely make Corsaire feel a little fear to her. Discovering a silver box, it held the engraving of ancient text, and three golden triangles. Creaking it open, Adda took hold of a very light silver baton. With a single light swing, the wind blew softly. “It actually exists....”

"You know, you could always sail around Scylla." Corsaire mentioned and tried to keep a straight face. He was not malicious at heart unless the situation called for it. What Adda did was her business. "I have no reason to worry as long as you uphold your end of the bargain. You have what you want, and I have one of the sails. Give me the rest and we'll be even."

"Captain!" Seer called from the Sea Witch. "You and Lady Adda better hurry. We have a Danjuran navy ship on our tails!"

“You only need the current sail for its magic to work. God knows what power could happen if you got all five. And by the sound of it, we don’t have the time.” Adda power walked to her ship. “Scarlet, do we have the inscription for whirlpools?”

“Yes Captain!”

“Excellent. I can buy us some time for goodbyes and an escape Corsaire.”

"The legend says I need all of them." Corsaire knew how pirates were, so he had to be sneaky. As Seer called about the Danjuran ship, he knew the navy would be close soon enough. After all, he used to be an officer for the royal Danjuran navy. He knew all the ins and outs of their routes, how the ships worked, and the weaponry. Hopping back on his ship, the captain signaled for the men to ready the sails. Grinning, the captain removed the board connecting the Sea Witch to the one he and Adda chased. With the wind in their favor, the sails unfurled and lurched it forward. "Though it won't be too hard to find where you've hid them."

“You can have my sails when you find the fifth set!” Adda ran to her ship, her crew setting out. Taking the scroll Scarlet unrolled for her, Adda followed the directions carefully. It was time to see if this Wind Waker worked. She made a flurry of flics left to right, once up, twice down, finishing by pointing at the navy ship. Storm clouds poured over the target, and the sea itself swirled. A massive whirlpool started to rock the boat, anchoring it in a circle as it spun around. Adda gave out a triumphant laugh. “It worked? IT WORKED!!! I have the greatest weapon a pirate could ever dream of!!! HahaHAHAHA!!! YES!!!”

The two ships momentarily sailed together as they left the navy behind. Adda walked to the edge of her ship with a swagger. “Well, boys, I suppose this is goodbye!”

"Just wait until I come for your sail." Corsaire said in good humor as he signaled for his men to head in the direction of Gulper Bay. "See you soon, captain of the Gerudos!"

Seer was at the end of the ship and although he could not see Adda, he waved goodbye with a soft smile.

“I guess you’ll have to visit. Give a year or two after I’ve finished making myself Queen of the Sea. Gerudo woman are the best damn pirates you’ll ever meet!”

Scarlet took her helmet off and waved to Rat. “I’ll think of baby names just in case!”

Adda turned to her with a look of confusion. “What?”

Scarlet whispered to herself in embarrassment. “I didn’t buy any pills or condoms. Something might happen...”

“Christ girl....”

Shaking her head at her first mate, Adda turned her attention and winked at Corsaire. “Normally I’d consider you a ‘loose end’.... but that cook of yours is too damn adorable to disappoint~ Don’t tell any Gerudo men about us, and you can visit anytime!”

Seer normally did not think about ever having contact with a woman with such bravado as Adda, but perhaps, one day soon... he'd see her again.

With that, both ships sailed in different directions, new adventures and danger awaiting them. (Christmas gift to the beautiful Lorraine of @figmentforms. Captain Adda is technically a creation of Lor that we made together in our spare time. I’m proud to play and bring Adda to life in this crossover with @ridersoftheapocalypse in her first introduction to the extended universe. Art is done by the fabulous @s-kinnaly. Reblogs and comments appreciated! Happy Christmas Eve! See you tomorrow for one more gift!)

[checkfortraps]

Please tell me all about Tyrea! As a fellow world builder I love hearing about other peoples worlds.

Okay okay okay, buckle up cuz this is gonna be a long ride, y’all. Hope the read more works, otherwise I’m very sorry, mobile users! (This is like 1,800 words I’m so sorry)

There are many different beliefs about the origins of the world, as vast as varying as the sea of cosmic matter it has been wrought from. Every race, every culture and generation tells a different tale about how Tyrea and all its inhabitants came to be. The most widely accepted theory though, enforced by the aasimar and those druids old enough to have allegedly witnessed those events, is that of the Prime Deities.

The Origin

At the dawn of time, there was only the elemental chaos seeping from the Planes, a whirling mass of cosmic matter and gleaming sparks of life coalescing in an endless void.

This fountain of sheer possibility and promise attracted powerful beings of light from the Astral Plane, who forged the directionless potential into tangible creation: A world of great beauty and strength, filled with wonders unnumbered as the stars strewn across the skies. From the hand of these creator gods, these Prime Deities, also sprung the inhabitants of this newly-created paradise: First the planetars, sculpted in the image of their creators, as ageless and bright and just as they were. Second the elves and the dwarves, graceful and strong, gifted with a life spanning centuries. Third the humans, creative and bright, burning up their own divine spark in pursuit of greatness. In time, many more races followed, given birth by the ever-inspired minds of the Prime Deities.

But they misjudged the threat the Planes proved to their creations. The chaos seeped through cracks in the cosmic fabric, crashing against the great green lands, plunging them into the first war. The mortals fought valiantly against the tides of magic flooding their realms, but were overwhelmed soon, all their progress shattered as they were slowly being consumed by the very material they had been forged from.

The pain of their children broke the Prime Deities’ hearts, and they decided to give up their ethereal form, donning mortal flesh instead to hold back the tides of chaos. Their physical presence within the Material Plane caused their divinity to bleed onto their children, involuntarily gifting them with the first magic. This shift of power proved a major asset in the fight against the chaos, allowing the mortals to join it in earnest. Together, the Prime Deities and their creations drove the intangible foe back and strengthened the barriers between the Planes to ensure this would never happen again.

Peace and quiet followed these harrowing events. The Prime Deities joined their powers once again, creating the metallic dragons to watch over and protect the mortal realms while they themselves acted as guides throughout the centuries of rebuilding. Beneath their gentle hands, the mortal races thrived, expanding and developing, countless cultures and cities springing forth from their boundless creativity.

The Fading

Over the course of several millennia, the Prime Deities gave so much of themselves to the rebuilding of the world that their powers started to fade. They found their physical bodies decaying, slowly reverting back to their formless existence as beings of light. Most of them gave in to this transition, accepting it as the natural order of the cosmos that all divine energy has to return to their origin eventually.

But some deities were jealous of the permanence granted to their children, unwilling to part with the power they wielded in the Material Plane. They held on with all energy they had left, trying to convince the mortal races that they still needed their creators, hoping they would help them find a way to keep their physical bodies. Their children, however, were becoming increasingly disconnected from them the more they faded, and they rejected the guidance of their gods, instead opting to forge their own destiny. And with every believer lost, the lingering Prime Deities dwindled more, revealing the bond connecting them to their creation.

The Divine Tyranny

Enraged by the betrayal of their children, the remaining gods broke with the oaths they swore when they created the world. They crushed the mortal realms under the boot of tyranny and war, destroying and conquering their way back to their original status and winning back their physical form. But every step on this way, they were opposed by the metallic dragons, who defended the mortal realms to their last breath by the divine decree of the Prime Deities that had left for other planes. In time, they too were crushed, though, and the divine beings now known as the Betrayer Gods, ruled supreme. 

Despairing over this crushing defeat, the planetars, first children of the gods, gathered all their remaining divine energy to take to the very heavens, sailing past the elemental chaos and into the Astral Plane to search for their lost parents. Meanwhile, the Betrayer Gods continued to subjugate the mortals left behind, aided by a corrupted sub-race of dragons called the Chromatics.

Centuries passed, and the planetars faded from the minds of their peers, the process hastened by the burning of libraries and temples sanctioned by the Betrayer Gods and executed by the Chromatics. Only the oldest and bravest druids and the aasimar, the children of the planetars and the mortal races, still dared to speak about the divine beings that had left them. But their stories were largely discounted as mere folk tales, even more so when the rage of the Betrayer Gods began to dwindle, and they became if not gentle, then at least just rulers over the mortal races. They grew idle and content with their kingdom and did not long for anything beyond what they won for themselves.

The Rise of Leanor, the Cosmic Devourer, and the Shattering of the World

One of the Betrayer Gods, who called himself Xeros, god of death, took a mortal wife, a beautiful aasimar named Leanor. Theirs was a great love, preserved in many a bard’s tale of yore, one full of passion and dedication and magnificient splendour. But where Xeros was content with his domain, judging over the souls of the dead in the plane he called the Shadowfell, Leanor nursed greater ambitions. She proposed to tear down the borders between the Planes again, taming the elemental chaos to brave the Astral Plane and create a kingdom spanning the whole cosmos. When Xenos refused, she destroyed his mortal coil and trapped his essence in a jewel, elevating herself to godhood.

An age of conquest began, in which Leanor allied with some of the more ruthless Betrayer Gods and the chromatic dragons to wage war on those who did not want to join them. Thousands upon thousands of souls and dozens of divine essences were trapped in Leanor’s jewel, eventually fueling a ritual that weakened the barrier between the Planes.

Elemental chaos began to batter the world once again, crushing life and culture for the second time in its history. Leanor fed on those cosmic currents until she consumed enough to transform herself into a titanic, draconic creature coiling around the world. Poisoned fangs drained natural resources to help her grow ever further, while her terrible wings blacked out the sun, plunging the world into perpetual darkness.

When Leanor, the Cosmic Devourer, as she fancied herself, grew too great and strong, she shattered the world under her grasp, and pieces of the once great continent gracing the world’s surface were scattered all across the elemental chaos of the oceans, creating secluded islands separated by distances too great for any ship to cross safely.

The Return of the Prime Deities, and the Age of Bravery

The desperate survivors of this disaster started praying. For the return of the planetars, and for the Prime Deities swooping down from the heavens to defeat the Cosmic Devourer. They found solace in the promises of the elders that there might yet lie salvation beyond those restless, doomed stars.

And, miraculously, their prayers were answered. Centuries away, the planetars finally found the Prime Deities in their new, far-away realm, where they shared their wisdom and power with other creations. 

When the Prime Deities heard of the terrible plight of their first children, they wept, rivers of cosmic matter coalescing into what later came to be called the Ethereal Plane. Touched by the soul-crushing pain of their divine parents, the inhabitants of that new realm offered to traverse the Astral Plane and deliver the lost world from the great evil that were the Betrayer Gods, even if it meant their own demise.

Accepting the offer with bleeding hearts, the Prime Deities swore two oaths: They would right the terrible wrongs of their siblings they left behind, and they would never abandon their creation ever again, protecting it to their last breath. 

By their powers combined, the Prime Deities teleported their children across the Astral Plane, following the steps mapped out by the planetars. Their arrival to their first creation came with heavy losses, as they were not prepared for the terrible power of Leanor and her allies. But they recovered quickly, launching a counter-assault that grew into a war spanning centuries. 

Whole generations rose and fell during this great war. Yet the mortals and their divine avengers fought on, fueled by the sharp rage and regret of the Prime Deities. When their numbers were too harshly decimated, they retreated into the Astral Plane to recover, while the Prime Deities held the line against Leanor all on their own, taking heavy losses.

After three centuries that became known as the Age of Bravery, the Prime Deities began to weaken, exhausted by the endless war. Defeat was imminent when a mortal band of adventurers called the Order of Last Hope proposed a terrible plan: Sacrifice one of the last remaining Prime Deities and forge a sword out of their essence that could pierce Leanor’s hide and allow them to wrench the black jewel, the source of the Cosmic Devourer’s power, out of her chest.

Despite their own solemn oaths, the Prime Deities were reluctant to agree to this madness, not willing to give up their own being to save their creation. Only one stepped forth without hesitation: Tyrea, mother of dreams. She forsook her own divinity to forge the sword, which became known simply as Last Hope, and in a final, disastrous assault, the Order plunged the blade deep into the Devourer’s heart, shattering the jewel. The attack did not kill Leanor, but reverted her back into her original form, weakened and corrupted. The Prime Deities banished her and all of her followers to a place beyond the stars called the Far Realm - the very plane they left behind to aid their first children.

The Age of Bravery finally ended. But the world paid a terrible price: The shattered islands could never be restored to their former state, and the Prime Deities were weakened so much that they began fading back into the Astral Plane yet again. Ashamed by the sacrifice of Tyrea, they decided that it was time to grant the mortals the power to rule by themselves. 

So, they gave the last sparks of their dwindling divinity to the members of the Order of Last Hope, elevating them to godhood, while they themselves faded back into the cosmic chaos - this time for forever.

The age of the new gods began.

[yoshi4sushi]

(purupurupuru) (purupurupuru) (gocha!) (coo!) (coo!)

 Hello! Hello, everyone! I hope everyone had a good weekend. As for me, I caught a terrible cold infection that my voice faded that even got my throat infected. Luckily the boys didn’t get sick so they did the footwork for me until I get back on my feet. Well, enough excuses, we go some news and goods to share with you. First off, last week’s chapter was a devil’s luck as Luffy was able to find his last resort for his plan. We last see as Luffy’s gear 4th ran out of time so he had to find a place to catch his breath, but Dogtooth wasn’t gonna let that happen as he went straight for him. Just when there was no way to get away from him, Luffy spotted his savior to escape, Brulee. She was just sitting there and let the gum gum dope kidnap and escape to place where he get his strength. However, he showed up at the wrong place at the wrong time literally. He landed at Nuts Island where Big Mom was destroying the town and eating the buildings. Now he and Brulee have to make dash off before she pummels them to death. Meanwhile, Nami and the others are still at sea on their guard so they can be ready to meet the chefs. At the end, Sanji and the girls finished making their ingredients for the cake, now they must set sail to put the finishing touches and meet with the gang. Will they make it on time? Or will trouble ruined their plan? Let’s how things get next week. Yes, no chapter this week so be patient. Next, this past weekend’s episode was in flaming. Luffy lashes out to Big Mom as he assures her that he will rescue Sanji and defeat her. This of course enraged her, but she calmed down knowing that she’s more excited for the wedding cake she will eat. Meanwhile, Pedro makes his move to be the bait so that Brook can infiltrate the treasure room to get ahold of the Red Poneglyph. Next time, he’s gonna make those chees soldiers fear the terror of his soul music. More like the terror of rock n roll! Look forward to it! Time to see him rock their world. OH YEA!!! Now on with the goods! First off, tomorrow, all arcades are going to stock this new figurine of Ace from marineford. Similar to a previous figurine from last year. Get your coins, and beat that crane. You don’t need us to say it. DO IT! Next, February will release a new Ichiban Kuji lottery of OP, and it’s titled “Battle Selection.” First two prizes will be Luffy in gear 4th in his Whole Cake Island outfit and same one in blue shorts color. It’s a big size. Other prizes will be towels or folders. Images will be released later on. Next, in April, another Ichiban Kuji will be released. The theme is devil fruit abilities. Characters have not been announced, but prize will be a figurine of Ace while prizes B & C are towels and plates. Images will be released later on.  Tickets are 500 yen. You can go to convenient stores, Mugiwara stores, or hobby stores. Next, U-Treasure will be selling this new limited ed. watch of Law in black or white color that will have his jolly roger. You can pre-order them if you live w/in the country or you can purchase it at the Mugiwara Store. It will be released in December. Jewelry stores will also have like U-Treasure store in Shinjuku, Kauno Doton Plaza in Osaka, and Kauno Meitetsu Plaza in Nagoya. Next Ichiban Kuji online will be taking order for a new set of plushie straps. This time, they’ll have Mihawk, Kuma, Buggy, Edward Weevil, Hancock, Doflamingo, and another Law version. Be quick or they’ll run out. The website is also in English. You must register if you want to order it. Next, Chara Letter will be taking order for Christmas letter set of the Straw Hats where it will contain a personal message from Luffy himself. They also have other occasional letters like birthdays or graduations. If you have a child, this would be a great gift for the holiday. We’ll leave a link if you’re interested. Moving on, next month they’ll released these tattoo stickers which by the way are water proof. You can order the whole set online on Chara Ani. We’ll leave a link if you’re interested. Next, LINE has a new OP theme which would make your chat more colorful and fun. If you know a way to purchase it, go ahead and try it. Next, ARITARITA has two new mugs for reservation and this time it’s Shanks and Mihawk which reveals his jolly roger. GUA! It looks so cool and fierce. Totally fits his personality. Shanks will be red color and Mihawk in white. We’ll leave a link if you wish to pre-order them. You can pre-order them at the Mugiwara Stores as well. Please ask the cashier box. They also have other characters available. It will be released in December. Next, DMM VR Theater is having a third campaign where you must retweet their ad, and they’ll choose lucky winners to win a big 2018 calendar of OP. So retweet! retweet! Next, websites are taking very early pre-order of these new key chains and straps of Luffy and Zoro of Whole Cake Island version. It’s possible they’ll have other characters as well. They will be released in April. Moving on, next month, they’ll release these new straps and acrylic stands of the guys such as Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ace, and Law. Next, the 20th anniversary Ichiban Kuji has released image of prizes J & K that has various characters in their blue outfits. Prize J are folders and Prize K are frame boards. We’ll leave a link if you wanna check them out. Next, Mugiwara stores are selling these new goods such as these towels of the Straw Hats and Germa 66. They’re also selling a pricey denim long sleeve shirt that has the jolly roger of Luffy, a colorful Germa 66 t-shirt, and a two new decorative tapes in purple and blue color. The tapes will be released next month. They’re also selling this book of 3D2Y special episode that has screenshots. Next, here’s the new image DVD cover of vol.4 from Whole Cake Island arc that has Pudding. You can order the DVD on Amazon. Last, but not least, Namie Amuro has released her final CD album of Finally that also contains the opening theme song of OP “Hope.” She announced that September was her retirement. Finally has many, many songs from early ‘90s to now. You can purchase her album on any music website or Amazon. GUA! So sad to see her retire. We will surely miss her enthusiastic smile and music. Well, that’s all for now. Tune in next week for more news and goods. ACHOO! Sorry about that. The sniffles are still there. Thanks boys. You sure save my hide.

 Mugs: https://hkds.tokyo/category/ONEPIECEARITARITA/

Tattoos: http://www.chara-ani.com/details.aspx?prdid=C17900145

Holiday letter: http://charaletter.com/onepiece/?utm_source=official&utm_medium=opccom&utm_content=opc

Watch: http://www.u-treasure-onlineshop.jp/news/onepiece_lawwatch/

20th anniversary prizes IK: http://bpnavi.jp/s/kuji/pc/medias/show_by_key/onep42

WCI keychains n straps: http://j-hobby.net/gir/193527.html

DMMVR Theater campaign: Twitter:「@DMM_VR_THEATER」

[toomanyfeelings5]

here are my long overdue gay sappy thoughts on black sails s2ep5:

1. sorry for the delay! i’d watched it with my dad and then we went on a very busy vacation and i wanted to make sure i devoted enough time and space to talking about this ep because i have feelings about it and i like talking about this show lol, sorry to most of you who don’t watch this show/don’t read these posts, which is obvs fine.

2. these are just gonna be the most important things i retained from watching for the first time so sorry if i miss anything!

3. max and anne and jack’s relationship is given these wonderful little touches, i like how they make their threesome situation almost mundane, like it’s not framed as a Sexy Hot Threesome, it’s framed as these three people trying their best to work out complicated feelings and to further their own agendas. it’s very human. like, anne’s jealousy of jack, max starting to maybe care a bit for anne, jack trying to figure out where he stands. that being said, i’d like a bit more expansion on anne and max’s relationship in particular: how do they actually feel about each other? what are their plans?

4. i guess i’ll find out because JACK BETRAYED ANNE AND CHOSE MAX AND IS CAPTAIN OF HIS OWN SHIP BUT AT WHAT COST

5. interesting how jack mirrors eleanor: he betrays the person he loves for his own advancement. max tacitly agrees to this betrayal, because she’ll also get more power out of this. she’s sort of following in elenor’s footsteps, though she is crafting her own kind of power over nassau. max is so fascinating and she remains my multi-faceted favorite. that being said, it sucks to be anne right now. :(

6. meanwhile, richard guthrie pulls the Classic Shitty Father speech by literally saying that he saw no value in raising eleanor because she’s a girl but that now he’s proud of her. eleanor looks conflicted--i imagine this is something she’s never heard from her dad before--but also pissed and distrustful, and i 100% side with her.

7. billy’s back and i’m guessing he’s going to be another problem later on. for now silver finds that he’s going to have to manipulate him much more carefully than the other crew members.

8. ok ok ok it’s Time to talk about the reveal, holy fuck.

9. during the last few minutes of the episode i went “IT WASN’T MIRANDA AND FLINT WHO WERE HAVING THE AFFAIR” and my dad was like “wHAT????” and we watched in total stunned silence. 

10. it was so well-done? you know there are those shows that a lot of people promote as like, “it has such good LGBT representation!!!!!! watch it, it’s so gay!!!!” and like, in my experience, at least half the time that representation is either mediocre or just plain shit, and generally way overhyped? so like, i Knew intellectually that flint was gay, i knew that this reveal was going to happen at some point, but i wasn’t really trusting the show to deliver. especially because s1 was so.....average and mediocre and just plain terrible on a lot of levels re: representation and any kind of progressive narrative. (they still aren’t good on race and on giving characters of color solid roles. at least max’s arc has drastically improved from s1′s, but still.)

11. so i had my doubts. but wow. this reveal was so well-constructed and built-up and layered that i was swept up on it, i was surprised, i was excited, i was ecstatic. by the end of it, by the time flint opened meditations, and reread “know no shame,” i had a lump in my throat. 

12. i just!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! of course james mcgraw is discharged from naval service and of course thomas is taken away to an asylum because they loved each other! because they were gay men who loved each other! 

13. “you think you’re angry about this?” “i am beyond that.” “i am enraged!” LET IT BE SAID HERE AND NOW THAT MIRANDA HAMILTON LOVES THOMAS AND SHE LOVES JAMES BUT THAT SHE IS ALSO ANGRY ON HER OWN BEHALF, SHE TOO HAS SUFFERED AND SHE TOO HAS SO MUCH RAGE, SO MUCH GRIEF. someone give them all a hug. 

14. the most powerful moment for me, though, was miranda’s speech to flint. i’m just gonna copy and paste this because it’s so much and i....have a lot of feelings about this:

15. “I think you're fighting for the sake of fighting! Because it's the only state in which you can function. The only way to keep that voice in your head from driving you mad! The one telling you to be ashamed of yourself. For having loved him.You were told that it was shameful. And part of you believed it. Thomas was my husband. I loved him, and he loved me. But, what he shared with you... it was entirely something else. It's time you allowed yourself to accept that.”

16. lies down forever and cries. can you believe that a morally ambiguous, manipulative, murdering, mysterious, asshole of a pirate captain has struggled with deeply-ingrained internalized homophobia and grief and loss and trauma this entire goddamn time.

17. can you believe that captain flint is a persona that james uses to bury his shame and his grief and his suffering. james mcgraw the naval man is no more, but captain flint isn’t exactly the pirate tyrant that he’s crafted himself to be, nor is he doing everything entirely in service of thomas’s (admittedly warped, at this point) vision. captain flint is a human being. james mcgraw is a human being who has suffered so much at the hands of england. he’s a gay man who continuously struggles to accept himself. 

18. that’s a goddamn powerful narrative and it was a goddamn powerful reveal. the show has slowly been weaving these underlying threads of ideas about shame, and reason, and order, and civilization, and freedom, and monsters, and now they have taken these threads and lifted them up and have shown us how they are all connected, what they are connected to. the show Went There, finally, at last, and i can only hope it keeps doing this, that flint’s past isn’t going to be ignored, that max and anne and eleanor and the other LGBT characters and especially the characters of color get significant and meaningful and powerful roles. if that happens the show can become something it’s setting itself up to be. 

[alys-anne]

I just wanted to THANK YOU for reblogging that fandom post oh my god I've never seen a truer thing ever and it's made it very clear to me why I don't like shipping as much as I used to!!! (god... the fans that feel like their ship is the Truest and that they are Entitled to Things or even that think it's the Truest but are Not Entitled and therefore Better G O D). Thank you.

You’re welcome ! I’ve actually spent quite a bit of time thinking about all this, and the post + article reflect (in more eloquent terms) the conclusions I’ve reached and why my dash looks so different now compared to 2 years ago.

The thing is, I find “shipping” appealing (and almost natural ? I mean I started having Feels about fictional couples while watching Pokemon and Sakura when I was a kid), and it can be so fun sharing stuff with other people. But it needs to remain fun !!! Or else, what’s the point ? I’ve seen people in various fandoms say “I’m stuck here, can’t get out”, well YES you can, you just have to do it yourself and not wait for someone to tell you to.

Also people tend to forget that without creators, there would be no stories. Like, at all. So i’m not saying all creators are perfect because far from it, and it’s important to engage in dialogue when you think something has been badly handled (thinking of minorities representation or plot inconsistencies here). But it doesn’t mean that people can just go and yell at them because their ship isn’t canon. This is so juvenile oh my god. I’ve read things that just /baffled/ me. People melting down because the camera guy said X and Y were not going to film a scene together in 2 weeks or some such nonsense. People completely lose their grip on reality, it’s maddening, and frankly repulsive. I don’t want to engage with such a fanbase and I understand why creators are put off (to say it mildly) by it.

I’ve been more or less interested in two examples that were cited in the article (larry and johnlock) and gods I’m glad that I finally realised what exactly was going on in there. I’ve fallen in the alluring trap of “look at all these cute gifs proving my theory” and landed in a world where one voice reigns and the dissidents are treated like garbage. Not fun at all. What enrages me the most is the fact that adults in these circles actively encourage this behaviour !!! You’re just setting up people for some massive disappointment by blowing a ship (that’s it, just a fucking ship, the mere idea of a romantic relationship between 2 characters, nothing concrete at all) out of proportions and to a disturbing level where fans are actually going to base their happiness on it ??? again, NOT FUN. After the Sherlock finale, people said that the showrunners should feel like shit because suicide helplines were reblogged in the tjlc corner of the fandom. DUDES. THEY’VE BEEN TELLING YOU SINCE THE FUCKING BEGINNING THEY WOULDN’T DO IT. YOU BLOODY WELL CHOSE TO BELIEVE IN SOMETHING AND TO FUEL IT WITH A LOT OF YOUR EMOTIONS, BUT YOU CANNOT SAY YOU HAVEN’T BEEN WARNED YEARS AGO !!!!!!!! DON’T MAKE A TV SHOW YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND DON’T ENCOURAGE OTHER PEOPLE TO DO SO FOR FUCK’S SAKE also, the entitled / all-knowing attitude of some bloggers was really fucking irksome. (same commentary goes with RPF, with added bonus that IT’S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS)Anyway, sorry for the rant ! To end on a positive note, I’m beyond glad to watch Black Sails and to follow the blogs I do, because no wank, 100% fun and the overall approach to shipping is relatively chill.

[directorscutandsomeotherstuff]

A Prologue

(And welcome to Director’s Cut, the show where we find old, terrible fanfiction and try to make it better by making fun of it, and today, we’re apparently going back to the beginning. Naming these posts after the titles of the fics in question has given me some choice ones, so far. Anyway, it’s One Piece time.)

(One Piece is an anime about pirates. It’s also a show in which kick-happy chefs face off against cross dressing ballerina men and in which the greatest marksman of all time carries around a slingshot. The protagonist, a Mr. Monkey D. Luffy, (referred to in this fic as “Ruffy” because of shitty localization) ate a cursed fruit that gave his body the properties of rubber, at the cost of completely losing his ability to swim. Being a sensible and level headed sort, he immediately pulled up tent stakes and made the harrowing journey from his island home to the mainland, where his eccentric powers made him a valued and much beloved member of his community. Actually, no. He became a pirate. On the ocean. Setting out for adventure on a rowboat. You’d think I’d be mad, but honestly, the show ran with that level of insane stupidity all throughout, giving it a charming level of absurdity that I can’t help but smile at.)

(Which brings us neatly to our author for today, Shaoli. Shaoli has decided to grace us with a fanfiction appropriately titled “A Prologue.” According to the description, there was never any real intention of making anything beyond it. I guess they just wanted practice? Who knows? Let’s get down to business.)

"My hat!!!" It was a cry the crew of the Goin' Merry heard several times a day. A tattered straw sun-hat bounced like a ball of tumbleweed across the swaying deck, driven swiftly by a lively breeze. (Why its owner didn’t think to use string or otherwise fasten it on board a ship powered by the wind was anyone’s guess.) Bouncing along right behind and grappling for both hat and foothold was the ship's captain, a most unlikely figure, a spindly youth with wild hair and wilder eyes. (The return of young Willem DaFoe. He sure was popular among early 00′s fanfic writers, eh?) "Ruffy!!!" That was also a cry heard several times a day, aimed this time at the scrambling, screaming persuer of the straw hat. (As opposed to all the other times, when it was leveled at the other people named Ruffy.) Ruffy had just barrelled past the Merry's most unusual feature, Nami's tangerine garden. Nami herself had been kneeling in the soft soil, pruning the lower branches of the largest bush. Leaping up and reaching with an arm that seemed, just for the slightest moment, too long for his smallish frame, the captain had nicked a bright orange fruit from that bush, sending leaves, branches and several ripe tangerines flying in the backlash from his wild grab, some battering an enraged Nami, others falling toward a figure reclined on the deck below (who was resting, with the air normally reserved for decadent aristocrats, like a boss, and this is not an attempt, on my part, to double down on the longest sentence in history, which is this sentence, that you’re reading, at this very moment). Zoro had long learned to sleep through all the ship's common commotions, but a spattering of ripe fruit in the face was quite another matter. The crew's only swordsman winced as the mildly acid juice trickled off his stiff green hair and stung his eyes. Grumbling a vague curse, (”Ah... some kind of shit from, like, an animal or what the fuck ever. I don’t care.”) Zoro scrubbed the offending liquid from his face and watched with a resigned air as Ruffy continued his hat chase. Breath coming hard through his nose (ah... um, no. Sorry. Now is definitely not the time to do my usual “twist somebody’s awkward phrasing into something funny” shtick. That’d just be nasty.) and a large tangerine crammed into his mouth, Ruffy's fingers closed around the rim of his hat just as it went over the rail at starboard quarter, the momentum slamming him into the rail itself. The youth's jaws clamped shut at the impact, and he was left with a mouthful of bitter, fragrant rind as the rest of the tangerine plummeted into the churning sea. "Aargh! No!" It was no idle protest the boy made, (after all, scurvy was an omnipresent problem aboard pirate ships, and the loss of any citrus flesh was a tragedy.) as this time his right arm did stretch many times its normal length, like so much chewed bubblegum, plunging into the water in pursuit of the fruit. The arm came up two seconds later with a vicious fanged fish gnawing at the end of it, and its owner in another screaming fit. (”Dammit!” screamed the owner of the vicious fanged fish. “You leave Chumblebutts alone, you hooligan! Can’t you see he needs that tangerine more than you do?”) Nami continued to prune, and Zoro curled up where he was, fighting a vague and creeping sense of despair which disappeared with his fist snore. The door to the ship's cabin swung open, and an irate voice carrying a vaguely french accent drifted out. "What in heck is going on out there?"  The voice's only reply was a howl as the captain sped past the garden again, hat restored on his head and a fish with needle spines and bulging eyes and huge teeth at the end of one arm. (”Ruffy!” the owner of the fish continued, “Just hold still! All you’re doing is freaking Chumblebutts out even more!) As Ruffy wrestled with the rabid fish on the deck, a trail of smoke wafted its way out of the cabin door, followed by the ship's cook, a blond-haired young fellow with a cigarette clamped between his teeth, who took a moment to adjust his tie and to smile adoringly at Nami, (which he did literally every time he ever saw Nami ever, at least according to fanfic writers.) who ignored him, before turning to frown at his captain's undignified thrashing. With a sigh, he began to make his way over the rail, when a skinny figure elbowed past him, clambering onto the wooden beam. "I'll save you, Captain!" It was Ussop, youngest of the crew next to Ruffy, and the ship's best gunman and carpenter (in that he was the only one who did those things on the crew of about five or six. It wasn’t exactly stiff competition.). Standing astride the beam, he snapped his prized goggles into place, and, taking aim with his slingshot, released his homemade bullet with an unneccessary flourish. (”Rubber Band of Doom!” he cried, smirking as the rubber band bounced harmlessly off the fish. He then fired something actually useful.) Ruffy, who had been thumping his stubborn little attacker repeatedly on the floor, looked up just as the shot connected with the source of his--present--distress, and engulfed the fish, as well as Ruffy's arm, in a ball of yellow flame.

(And then the Going Merry went entirely up in flames. The tangerine bushes, especially. The crew all drowned. The End.) The fire lasted merely seconds, and Ruffy emerged only slightly singed. (Seriously? All these attempts at slapstick, and a fishy fireball just gets “Oh, and Ruffy gets first degree burns, whatever?” It’s a fishy fireball, man! Embrace it!)  Now he sat calmly munching on his former assailiant, which had been fried to a crisp, as the rest of the crew (save the still-snoozing Zoro) milled about the ship, making adjustments to the sail, the wind having picked up again after a brief lull. "I don't like the look of this weather," called Nami to no one in particular, basket of gardening tools in one hand as she scanned the sky. "We'll see a storm within the hour." No one questioned this suggestion, clear as the sky seemed. Nami was never wrong.  "Sanji, get the tarp for my garden, will you? The rest of you keep the sails up for now, we need to make as much headway as possible before the storm hits." "Yes, my love!" was the cook's giddy reply as he descended obediently into the hatch to get the plastic covering Nami requested. Ruffy tossed the remains of the unforunate sea creature, mere bone picked completely clean, overboard, and wondered about dinner as he went to help Ussop with the rigging. The rising wind was whipping the skinny sharpshooter around the pole as he tussled with the ropes, doing a maypole dance with the mast without ever touching the ground. Zoro snored.

(The owner of the vicious fanged fish gathered up the bones of his precious baby. Beaten, burned, and thrown to the sharks. And for what? Citrus? Truly, a pirate’s greed knew no bounds. He sank beneath the waves, muttering dark promises of revenge for his beloved Chumblebutts.) ******************************************* The green-haired swordsman awoke with a sneeze. Rain fell like a translucent curtain from the black sky, sloshing about the deck and drenching him in salty cold. He sighed. There had to be some sort of cure for this ridiculous habit of his. He'd sleep through anything if he felt no threat in his immediate surroundings. (This made Zoro notoriously vulnerable to ninjas, diseases, and farts of the silent, but decidedly deadly variety.) Usually it was on board the Merry. The only other time in his life he'd had such unguarded comfort was back at the dojo; back home. Zoro had to smile as he picked himself off the deck and squelched towards the cabin. Home was here now! He grinned wider at the thought. He liked life simple, and thus he strove to keep it so. Running into Ruffy had been an accident. Life had never beem more exciting, (Special attack! Life Excitement Beem! PREEEOW!) and at the same time, so wonderfully uncomplicated.  One never could depend on circumstance for simplicity, not with a name known across the two seas; not with a price big enough to purchase a small village on your head. (Being wanted by the government was the best way of keeping life simple.) It was Ruffy's path through these strange situations that never wavered from its certain course: beat up the bad guy, and aid the helpless. His sharp hearing picked up the sound of a voice over the hammering rain, and Zoro cast a glance toward the ship's bow. Outlined against the storm- darkened sky was (the owner of the vicious fanged fish, sword drawn and murder in his eyes. Zoro sprung into action, a sword in each hand and a third clenched between his teeth, and began a fight that would surely make for much more interesting reading. However, we choose instead to focus on) the captain and his straw hat, sitting on the ram figurehead at the ship's bow. Behind the figure to the right stood Nami in her yellow raincoat, shaking a finger at Ruffy whilst her other hand struggled to keep a water-proof map open and a compass upright at the same time. For no reason he could put into words, Zoro began to hum a tune he had heard in his childhood as he turned once more toward the dry comfort of the cabin (where he would clean the blood off of his blades and wonder what on earth could bring a man to such depths of hatred as he saw) . He could not quite remember the lyics, someone had wrote about his childhood hero, the kind who always beat the bad guy and got the girl, (not that Zoro would ever admit to being a Dante fanboy. The world at large did not look kindly to grown men who still played Devil May Cry.) but to him they went something like this: "And the reason that she loved him, was the reason I loved him, too. 'Coz he never wondered what was right or wrong, He just knew. He just knew..." ******************************************** "Did the devil fruit make you immune to disease, too? You'll catch a cold out here!" Nami shouted over the storm. (”Oh, and also, if you fall into the water, you’re literally dead. It’s hard enough saving a man overboard in a storm, when they don’t sink like a stone because of devil fruit powers.”) "I like sitting here!" was Ruffy's stubborn answer. The youth clung like a possum to the smiling figurehead, glaring at Nami as if he expected her to challenge him for the spot. Nami sighed, and went back to reading her map. A most curious expression flitted across Ruffy's normally wide-eyed countenance. (5/10. Could have used more ponderous ten-dollar words.) He shuffled from his precariously dangling position on the ram head, sliding down the length of the neck so that he was only about two feet away from Nami. His voice carried that innocent tone only he was capable of. "Nami, are you happy?" Nami looked up and sneezed, a corner of the map whipping her in the face and her feet and hair soaking wet despite the raincoat. (What? The map whipped her in the face, the feet, and the hair, despite her raincoat? Fucking hell, that map must be a whiz at Tekken.) "What??" was her incredulous answer. "Um..."Ruffy searched for words. For a while he didn't find any. Nami was suddenly nervous. The youth seemed a little distant for a moment, and for good measure his bright, black eyes had settled upon her face as he searched his seldom-used and not-too-extensive vocabulary. (Unlike me, the author, who bases their entire identity on the extensiveness of their vocabulary. Why, I’m indubitably loquacious, you inadequately educated varlets.) "Don't you ever leave, ok?" he chirped, leaping over her head and onto the swaying deck. "I promise never to make you cry." And he went below deck, stretching and yawning. Nami stared after her captain, and smiled. (And that was the last thing she did before the owner of the vicious fanged fish clambered over the gunwale one last time from behind her, delirious from blood-loss and seeing only one last gasp opportunity to avenge his beloved Chumblebutts.)