#[answer is I am used to doing this all organically]
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(I want to learn all of these)
Ibrahim has reached out and ask that I spread his family’s campaign, and it has almost reached their goal! With your help we can do it!
🌧️🤍🕊️🇵🇸🌙
Please click on his campaign to read his story, and here is his latest update about the flooding in Gaza, please support his cold family this winter:
January 1st, 2025
by Ibrahim Alhabil
“Between Celebration and Sorrow: The Story of a Tent Flooded by Rain”
While the world celebrates the beginning of 2025, we face a harsh reality. Torrential rains flooded our humble tent, the place we called “home,” turning it into ruins overnight. There are no longer walls to shield us from the cold or a roof to protect our children from the relentless rain.
We now live in unbearable conditions, struggling to survive with the bare essentials, holding onto hope that kindness still exists. We do not ask for much, only enough to help us rebuild what we lost and provide warmth and safety for our children during this harsh winter.
We call upon every compassionate heart and everyone who values the importance of shelter and security to extend a helping hand. Your donation today, no matter how small, could bring a smile to our children’s faces and give them hope for a better tomorrow.
Let’s come together to save my family from the cold. Let’s share the gift of kindness.
DONATE 🌙
( This request came from Twitter, so while there isn’t a Tumblr vetting option I can give you I can instead direct you to Ibrahim’s ->
Twitter / Instagram / TikTok
For verification )
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commissions are open! ✨
HELLO!! Here are my updated commission prices for the new year! I'll be working with 4-6 slots per month at a time, and have added an option to submit your idea to me by google form, if you prefer to do that.
I'm offering full-body sketches for a reduced price as a bit of an experiment! I have a lot of fun sketching, and wanted to include a lower-budget option. I also want to try offering discounts on coloured full-body illustrations, if a sketch is resubmitted to me later in the year.
Link to my detailed ToS. Some quick info is listed in this post, but please read in full!
Payment via PayPal invoice, in Canadian dollars. (PayPal handles the currency conversion, and the processing fees are incurred by me, not you.)
Full payment is due after you have seen, offered feedback on, and approved of a rough composition sketch. You can request milestone updates as I work.
Blood/injury, body horror, nudity, pinup/suggestive (nudity or no), are all OK and I’m happy to discuss subject matter in DMs if you’re unsure! (media tags on this blog are a good reference for what I am willing to draw. BG3 is a fair reference point!)
I can answer questions and offer price quotes in DMs, but emails let me stay better organized during our communication, and I will need your email to send you the PayPal invoice.
Google form for commission applications
(I created the google form to streamline your idea submission or break the ice for shyer folks, but using it is not mandatory. Feel free to email me cold! - [email protected])
I’m excited to bring your visions to life! 🫶🫶🫶
Additional examples are under the readmore, or in the links to my art and commission work tag!
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Hello! I plan on doing a Sailor Moon rewrite later on next year (bc i have a lot of shit to do in the entirety of my 3rd year of university) and I'd like to know what issues you have with each season of sailor moon. You don't have to name all of them, just name the biggest problem(s) you have with each season!! I hope I am not troubling you :3
Hi! You're no trouble at all! Thank you for asking, I'm humbled you're interested in hearing my opinion.
Ok, let's see. Before I start I wanna say, these are MY opinions based on also how I'm doing my own rewrite AU thingy, so don't take it personally if I don't want to include elements or characters you love. (Most fo the time it doesn't even mean I don't like those characters in canon, I just don't think they'd fit with the specific narrative I have in my mind)
I'll say for Season 1, my biggest issue is the amount of time it takes to get everyone in the cast. By the time we get Mina it's like what, over 3/4ths of the season in? I like that the show takes its time introducing everyone and giving the girls some organic bonding time in the filler, but there's better ways to do it imo. That's why I have Usagi be the last to awaken and meet an already tranformed Ami and Rei, so we don't totally break from Usagi being the center at first. We can use her as a vessel to get to know these new people and this crazy new identity at the same time she does, letting us know more about her too in the process, while not slowing the pace of the story to a crawl. As we get to know more, you can introduce the rest of the girls and break from the main group to catch glimpses of Mako and Mina, to later unite them. But that's my fix, there's other ways to fix the slow introductions, just.. don't maybe go manga style and spend only one ep per girl and immediately move on to the next, give them time to breathe.
My main issue with Season 2 is the time travel. The show does NOT know its own rules and that is a recipe for disaster, once you introduce an ally that is able to time travel, you got a LOT in your hands. Everything in the show could be solved with one travel through time, but they never do. Why? Cause otherwise the show wouldn’t exist. It leaves too many possibilities and questions that is not ready to answer. Idk how one could fix it, I'm sure there's many ways you could, I just have 0 interest in incorporating time travel in sm.
With Season 3 I'd say it's the introduction of the whole Pharaoh 90 or Mistress 9 thing. I don’t know, I know they are the main baddies, but like.. just make Saturn the main threat, she already basically is. That's my problem with it, I'm sure a ton of people disagree, but I'd rather the season just focus more on Saturn, Haruka, Michiru and Pluto, I don't need another "queen Nehellenia" type villain that gets introduced 2 seconds before the end. And I lovee Eudial and Mimete, but we don't need 5 of them. I'd just make those 2 Tomoe's assistants and that's that. Too many villains, especially if you're not going to do a motw format.
With Season 4.. uff where do I even begin. Tbh I scratch the whole season and do a ground up rebuilding project, but if I HAVE to stick with the canon structure I'll say make Nehellenia more present. She's THE BEST part of SuperS, make her more present and more threatening. Give her that mirror power from the get go, make her appear in mirrors, reflections, show her subtly , in the background, give the season a subtle but palpable atmosphere of unease, make her scary. I WANT TO BE SCARED of her! Also unrelated, but get RID of the S*A metaphor with the 3 eyes.
With Stars the whole pacing the season is a mess. The start is way too slow and the end is rushed as fuck. Introduce Galaxia as a present threat earlier, again idk how you'd do that exactly while keeping the episodic tempo of the show, but my solution is. Don't! Lol
#ask me stuff#sailor moon#srry this got rished I'm running out of time#ill fix this later#ty for the ask hun#good luck with ur rewrite#fixed
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Meet Me on the East Side ❥𓂃𓏧
FEATURING : Yukimiya Kenyu, Itoshi Sae, Oliver Aiku, and Nagi Seishiro
ABOUT : They were your highschool sweethearts, puppy love to be exact, but time changes when you graduated highschool. Cheat incidents, Fell out of love, focusing on priorities, or basically just ghosting you out of the blue. But years past as your paths met once again, will you give them a chance?
note : this a multiverse AU, the plots were inspired by two songs ; Eastside by Benny Blanco, Halsey, and Khalid, and Knees by Bebe Rexha. Choose any of the two to listen to. Enjoy!
❥・• Yukimiya Kenyu
— Many students knew that you were inseparable. Kenyu, being the star player in the soccer team of your school, and you, being the head of the student council. He had many fangirls, as much as many fanboys you had as well.
You supported him 24/7 when it comes to their game, you were his number one cheerleader. Everytime you shout his name, his ego becomes unstoppable, resulting him scoring as much he could.
But then as graduation came, you were alone in the bleachers, the day was about to end. The breeze was so soothing, that you took a deep breath, waiting for the love of your love to come over. Since he was the one who wanted to meet you in that certain spot.
The empty soccer field gave you nostalgia, you knew you couldn't see him play in this field again. Instead, you'll see him play in a bigger field. You knew he's going to another city to chase his dream.
"Yuki!! You yelled "Baby! Congrats to us! We finally made it to the end of high school!" You hugged him.
"Y-yeah.." He stuttered worryingly "Is there something wrong?" You asked "I called you here to tell you something.."
You gulped because you were nervous, the vibe seem to drop "I'm breaking up with you.. I need to focus on my career for now.." He coldly stated "W-what?" You stuttered "Is it really necessary? Sure we'll be far apart but we can still contact each other! I don't care how many days you will reply, as long as you update me.. I understand you're focusing on your career but.. Am I the reason who's pulling you down?" He couldn't answer, so he went silent. You started crying "Yuki please.. There must be some other way—"
"I made my decision. I'm sorry. I truly love you but, it's for the best.." He caressed your cheek one more time before he walked away.
You were stunned, couldn't move at all. Everything happened so suddenly. Your knees went weak, and you cried so hard, that your voice echoed all around the empty field and bleachers.
— 15 years later —
You're now a CEO of your favourite organization, Blue Lock. It's been your dream to be the head of your favourite sport, well.. Used to be..
But you still grasped that dream because ever since, your passion was to lead. Even though you couldn't do the certain things, but you were insanely amazing in leading them. You graduated from Business school with latin honours, in which led to where you are now.
It's been 15 years since you two lost contact. The last conversation you had with Yukimiya was during graduation, which was tragic.
But you did see him on television, and he indeed. Became one of the best strikers worldwide, representing Japan. You despised him a lot, but deep inside, you were still that little highschool girl who was proud of him wherever he was now.
You still loved him..
Sure, you dated some dudes in college, but he was that guy where you would give up everything for him. Well, it's sort of true where first love is indeed irreplaceable.
Your secretary Anri, gave some news for you "I GOT NEWS! Ego brought some amazing soccer players! You should check their profiles out!" There she handed a USB filled with all the players' profile.
"Thanks Anri, I'll check these out! Would you mind bringing me more coffee?" She agreed and politely left your office.
You sat down and plugged in the USB on your computer. There were around 300 players in Blue Lock "Hmm they sure are talented players here, wow.."
You scrolled and saw the Top 11 best players in Blue Lock, and froze as you saw who was number 5.
"Y-yuki.." You gently pressed your mouse to open his profile, he definitely became more attractive. You analyzed all his personal info, it seems his eyesight was getting worse.. You suddenly feel worried, because you knew his eyesight was already bad during highschool, but it didn't stop him from playing soccer. You saw his favourites, likes and dislikes. You simply chuckled "I guess he never changed at all.." Then you stumble across the "my type" section.
Type : [ Someone who laughs a lot and will always watch over me, support me, and love me for who I am. Someone who's really good at leading me. ]
A tear dropped from your eye "H-he.." Suddenly Anri barged in with the coffee you asked her to fetch for you "Here's your coffe— Hey? Are you crying? Is everything alright?" You immediately wiped your eye and smiled as if nothing happened "N-no! I'm all good!" Anri had suspicions but she just brushed it off.
"Hey, we'll be meeting the top 11 later on, we'll train them before the U-20 tournament will commence" You simply nodded. "Of course, I'll be there." Anri happily left your office, you simply sighed.
"After 15 years I'm finally meeting you again..."
— Timeskip —
"Welcome Diamonds in the rough.. You made it this far.." Ego stated. "Today we'll be preparing for the U-20 tournament.." You noticed there were small amounts of players in the lobby, you simply whispered to Anri "I thought there were around 300 people- only top 11?" Anri whispered back "These are the surviving players. The rest, eliminated." You quietly gasped.
You tried looking for him in the crowd until the door opened. There, Itoshi Rin, Shidou Ryusei, Bachira Meguru, Isagi Yoichi, and..
"Yuki.." You felt relieved "Wait.. No.. Why am I like this- he's your ex!" You talked to yourself "Ex? Who?" Anri gasped "ONE OF THE PLAYERS HERE IS YOUR EX?!?" You covered her mouth "It was way back highschool okay? That was only puppy love-" You defended.
"Oh sure~ wait until I found out who is your ex!" Anri teased "As if-"
"Hey! You two! What the heck are you guys blabbering about?!" Ego angrily called you two out which brought attention to everyone in the lobby.
"Shit." All were eyes on you two "SORRY GUYS! You may continue Ego! Hehe sorry-" Anri pulled you out of the lobby.
But before you got out of the lobby one special person laid eyes on you "Eien..?" He called out, but you couldn't hear him.
( Eien means Eternal means 日本語 ) It was his endearment to you before.
"HE SAW ME-" You panicked. You felt nostalgia because the same feeling where you had a crush on him during your freshman years in highschool "This feeling brings back so many memories-" You mumbled "You still love him don't you?" Anri teased "What if I still am..?"
"BUT I HATE HIM!" You suddenly yelled "He dumped me because he wanted to focus on his soccer career!" Suddenly you had flashbacks and started crying. "Hey.. Look, I don't know the full story, but it seems you really loved this person.."
"I still do Anri, I still do.." She didn't know what to do so instead, she hugged and comforted you until you stopped crying.
Little did you know, some of the boys, and Yukimiya overheard you and Anri. "Dang, she looks so hurt-" Bachira grieved "If I was her friend I would've choked the dude to death "Hiori innocently spoke "Woah- isn't that a bit too far—?" Yukimiya defended "No-? He could've just taken the Long-distance relationship so what?" Hiori added which the other boys agreed.
Yukimiya felt guilt all over him as he saw how hurt you were..
"Had I made the wrong decision?"
— Timeskip —
You went out to get some fresh air. Your eyes were still swollen from crying so much earlier, you decided to head to the open soccer field nearby, and laid on the middle of the field. You let out a huge sigh "Gosh, why are these feelings coming back.. It's been 15 years. Move on dammit!" You fought with yourself.
There was a moment of silence until you got startled as you heard a familiar voice.
"That makes the two of us now, I'm glad"
You sat up as you couldn't believe it "Yukimiya.." "What happened to 'yuki'?" He asked "Do I still need to call you that? We're not together anymore right?" You suddenly went back to your senses, you were furious "Eien, I'm sorry..." "Stop calling me that, we're done." You coldly stated "And what are you doing here?! You're not allowed to get out" You added "Well I escaped, and followed you here.." You went silent.
"Hey, I saw you crying earlier, my chest was aching see you cry, knowing it was because of me... I deserve to be choked by Hiori indeed..." He looked down "You better be! I really hate you so much!" You angrily spoke. "I had a tough time Kenyu.. You left me there, I couldn't get to explain myself properly that time.. You left me without saying a proper goodbye.." You cried "It hurts.. IT HURTS! 15 YEARS! I should've gone to therapy at this point.."
"Hey, don't say that.. I totally understand your pain, I was a jerk that time.. I was only thinking of myself during that moment... I was immature, I'm sorry..." He apologised "Look, I know you can't forgive me, but believe me, ever since I broke up with you, I never dated ever again. If you saw my type in my profile, I was describing you.." He suddenly cried.
"I know. I saw. Why are you crying? Don't prey yourself. I totally understood you prioritizing your career that time, it's my decision to continue loving you until this day." You coldly stated "Can we start over?" He asked "I promise, I won't leave you like that again.. And this time I'll prioritize my career, and you.. Eien.." He cupped your cheeks "I know it's been 15 years, it was so long ago, but.. Can we?" He desperately added.
"Give me time.." You replied "I'll ask you out again, starting from the beginning.. This time, I've changed, I grew." He suddenly kissed you passionately, the breeze swiftly touched your skin, melted from his kiss "Fine, but if you'll leave me again, there's no more chances, I'll definitely move on, even if it takes another 15 years to move on." You both laughed.
On the corner bush, there was Anri and Ego spying on the both of you "Bingo! So Yukimiya Kenyu, Top 5 striker in Blue Lock was her ex.." "What the heck are you talking about-?" Ego curiously asked "Oh, nothing, I just witnessed broken pieces glued back together."
❥・• Itoshi Sae
— You and Sae were both an athlete couple in highschool. Him as a soccer player, while you as a gymnast.
You two were the star in your campus, everyone dreamed to have a relationship like you two, both talented and never declining face cards. As you both graduated highschool, the two of you were given an opportunity to your dream university, you in France, while Sae in Spain. Sure, both of you were headed to Europe, but you'll still be miles away from each other.
But despite that, you two handled the long distance relationship. Updating 24/7, late night talks every night, and daily messaging every morning.
But one night, you tried calling Sae. Usually he would answer in a millisecond, but he didn't tonight. You tried again but this time, he purposely did not answer the call.
Your brows furrowed "What on earth is his problem?" You sound pissed. A few minutes later, he messaged you, but your eyes widen from his sudden message for you.
Love ♡ : [ Hey.. Sorry for not answering your calls, I was trying to type this message for you. I'm really sorry for what I'm about to say to you, I hope you would understand me. I'm sorry but I'm breaking up with you. I can't have too much distractions. I need to focus on my career first, maybe in our next life, we can be together, without any distractions. I'm really sorry again. Good luck on your journey as an gymnast in Paris. I'm sorry. ]
— Love ♡ cleared your nickname —
— Itoshi Sae cleared his own nickname —
— Itoshi Sae blocked you —
You were too stunned to even let out a word. You read his message, again and again, trying to cope with his message he just sent you. All you did was to cry..
"Sae.. Why.." You cried all night, forgetting to train yourself for tomorrow. You cared less about it and went to bed and sobbed until daylight..
Weeks passed since your break up with Sae. You can't seem to keep up with training because your mind was too empty at the moment.
"Mon chéri, what's wrong?" Your instructor approached you "Why the long face?" She added "Oh nothing Madame! Just thinking about something these days" You covered it with a smile "Are you sure? You must focus! Your recital is coming up and special guests will be there, you can't disappoint them are you?" She replied.
"No madame, I won't." You finally got back to your senses and went back on track.
"I don't care about stupid Itoshi Sae anymore, if he's focusing on his career, why shouldn't I?"
— 8 years later —
Roses, tulips and confetti rain over you as you bowed after your grand performance, applauses were echoing the whole auditorium.
As the curtains closed, you let out a huge sigh "What a night!" You went back stage and got greeted by the staff "Mon chéri! You did amazing! I'm so proud of you for making this far! From performing, to competing soon enough! Your tournament is next week, are you ready?" Your instructor proudly asked "Yes! Of course madame! I should bring my fiancé too, if that's alright with you?" You asked.
"Of course! A little support couldn't hurt right?" She chuckled. You smiled in relief, I'll be telling him madame! Thank you so much!" "As you should! That man certainly inspired you does he?" You happily nodded.
— Timeskip —
"Finally! It's over, we won again!! We won against France's star soccer team!" Charles proudly cheered "Indeed, I could use a warm dip in the bathtub tonight with the view of the eiffel tower" Shidou added "I'm going to watch the gymnast competition tonight!" Ness also added "Competition? Tonight? Interesting, I'll come with!!" Charles replied "Hmm, I suppose I should watch too, I love flexible women" Shidou cheekily laughed.
"What about you Sae, aren't you tagging along?" Kaiser asked "No thanks, I should train instead." Sae coldly stated "AWW C'MON BRO!! Just this one time! We deserve this, right everyone?" Ness pleaded. "And besides, the star gymnast is competing too! She'll surely win! I saw her tricks and wow she's spectacular!" Ness added "We should go!" Charles said as everyone followed.
Kaiser's phone rang "Oh, gotta answer this, you should come along Sae, my fiancé is competing too. You should see her, she's too perfect" Kaiser said with admiration with his eyes. "I see, sure, I'll try to come along" Sae answered "Good, gotta go.. Hello? liebe? Yes?" Kaiser closed the door as he left.
Ness was preparing to go but Sae stopped him "Hey, may I know who's the star gymnast who is competing tonight?" "Oh!! Wait here!" Ness showed a video of you performing. Sae paused for a moment. "She's... She's m—"
"Magnificent right!?" Ness interrupted, now let's go! He said as he pulled Sae out of the locker room.
"She was once mine..."
— Timeskip —
You took a deep breath as the whole gymnasium was yours to perform on "You can do it Mon chéri, I know you can!" Your instructor cheered "Thank you madame!" You finally had the confidence to come out the gymnasium and showed yourself, you were glimmering, as your shiny fitting dress has reflected the spotlight.
"Here goes nothing" You motivated yourself.
"THAT'S HER!!! WOOO!!" Ness screamed "Wow, isn't she a beauty~" Shidou flirtly spoke "Damn- she's really flexible, does she even have bones?" Charles jokingly said "What the fuck?" Sae suddenly spoke which startled Shidou and Charles "Chill bro- what are you on" Shidou defended "Yeah- you sounded like you're her boyfriend" Ness and Charles added.
"BECAUSE I WAS." They went silent "Be for real right now-" Charles spoke "No way-" Ness added "Psh- you're joking" Shidou rolled his eyes.
"I'll prove it. Watch me." Sae sat back and continuously watching you.
"Did he went cuckoo?" Shidou asked which Ness and Charles only shrugged.
Sae admired you so much, he reminisced the time when you two were just in highschool.
— Flashback —
"Love! Haha! Look!" You called out to Sae "Okay, wait.. Okay now!" He yelled.
You showed your triple flips then a smooth landing with a split. "How'd I do?" "WOO!! THAT'S MY GIRL! You did so well love! I can't wait to see you performing like that during nationals!" You pounced at him causing you two to fall on the ground.
Laughter echoed the field, you two were so happy, you were on top of Sae, faces inches away from each other. "Let's chase our dreams okay?" You said "Of course my love let's chase them together." He replied then passionately kissed you, you kissed back. It was one of the most romantic moments you two ever made.
— Present time —
He saw you successfully landed on the last move you did and bowed. You looked around the gymnasium, everyone cheered for you, he smiled. He knew he was proud of you. You saw Shidou, Ness, and Charles cheering, so you did the same.
The three turned to you and thought you were weird, but brushed it off after.
You were the last contender. It was time to announce the winners. It was intense, but you remained calm and confident.
On the other hand, Sae was worried and nervous for you, he prayed you would get the gold medal, if you did, then you will be representing France for the internationals.
Everyone cheered as your name was announced as the first place, you were speechless, you had mixed emotions.
You got up on the podium feeling overwhelmed. Everyone chanted your name, you looked around, but your eyes landed on a familiar person.
No it can't be..
You saw Sae happily jumping with his teammates yelling "She did it!!" You didn't know what to feel. But joy overshadowed all your feelings at the moment.
"Wait- Where's Kaiser?" Ness asked.
— Timeskip —
As you were wiping your sweat with a face towel, Sae approached you, which startled you.
"Hey... Congrats.. I-I'm so proud of you.." He stuttered, feeling awkward from the conversation.
"Sae?" You paused "What are you doing here?" Your brows furrowed again, you hated seeing him at this time "We had a game here in France, and my teammates wanted to watch your competition, I didn't want come along, not until Ness showed me one of your performance, you did really good.."
"Don't do this to me Sae, showing up out of the blue after you cut ties with me 8 years ago.. What are you on?" You spoke as you felt pissed.
"Hey, look.. I'm sorry okay? I wasn't thinking straight that time, I was too stressed.. I couldn't tell you what happened to me that time." He defended.
"No need, I moved on. But I'm really thankful to see you tonight, even though it was unexpected." You chuckled "I'm too immature to long a grudge on you right?" You added, he awkwardly laughed "Yeah.." He cleared his throat, "Hey, uhm- how were you? Should we have dinner sometime?"
You simply chuckled "I would but, I couldn't. My fiancé might burn you to pieces, and I wouldn't want that" "Fiancé—?" Sae asked.
"Liebe, ready to go— Sae? What are you doing here? I thought you wouldn't come?" Kaiser entered as he was playing with his car keys. "Kaiser? Wait.."
"Oh? You two know each other?" You asked "Yes schatz, Sae is my teammate. I haven't mentioned, sorry liebe" Kaiser answered "How 'bout you Sae? How did you know my fiancé? Quite unexpected honestly" Kaiser asked.
"Oh.. Uhm- we go to the same highschool before.. Yeah.." Sae coldly replied.
You went silent, knowing that your ex and your soon-to-be husband is on the same soccer team. You decided to take a deep breath and cleared your throat "So~ uhm.. I guess we should get going Micha? Can you grab my bag? Thanks" "Oh sure liebe, I go get it" Kaiser left you and Sae.
"So..."
"So..."
You both went silent. "Well, at least we finally reached our dream right? Me, being the star gymnast, and you as a star midfielder, and overall your team itself is famous, right?" You awkwardly laugh.
"I'm... Too late am i?" Sae looked at you desperately "Sae.. I-"
"I'm so sorry I left you.. I'm glad Kaiser is treating you better now.. I wanted to be him again, but.. I guess I was too late" He forced a smile.
"I'm sorry Sae.."
"Let's go schatz? See you Sae, call me if we're training tomorrow hmm?" Kaiser said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder.
You turned back seeing Sae looking so lost. You mouthed 'thank you, and I'm sorry..'
Sae just watch you disappear from the room, letting out a smile but tears were rolling down his cheeks.
"I love you.. But you're not mine anymore.."
❥・• Oliver Aiku
— You two were an amazing duo, but sometimes you two couldn't get along as well. Some say you were in a toxic relationship, but you didn't listen because you were so inlove with him.
But there was one time where Aiku invited you to go to a KTV bar with him. You simply agreed cause you thought it would be another date.
You wore a beautiful blue satin dress, excitedly you messaged him you were on the way "I can't wait to see him again!"
— Timeskip —
You arrived at the KTV bar and asked the counter which room was Number 308, she happily led you to that room. "Here's the room miss!" "Thank you so much!"
As you were about to enter the room, you peeked on the small window of the door. There you saw disco lights and the room was dim, but you clearly saw Aiku— with another girl..
Your head was boiling as you barged in the room "OLIVER AIKU! WHAT IN THE FUCKERY IS THIS?" You yelled.
"Woah- my love chill, this is Denise. Denise, this is my girlfriend" It seems Aiku was drunk. "Girlfriend? I thought I was your girlfriend?" The girl looked confused.
"YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME?!?! I DID NOT EXPECT TO BE IN A POLY RELATIONSHIP!" You cried. "We're over Aiku." Before you could walk out, he grabbed your wrist "Wait baby! Don't go! I can explain—" A huge slap landed on Aiku's face "Don't TOUCH me!" You flicked your arm and left the KTV room..
As you left the room, you cried. You couldn't believe what had happened just now..
"They were right, I was in a toxic relationship... I was too blind to see it.." You ran out of the venue and went home.
— 6 years later —
You just got home from work, exhausted. You were working full-time in the office, but your exhaustion disappeared as your 6-year old son ran to you. "Mama!!"
"Aww my baby Ollie, how are you? Did the maid gave you dinner?" You hugged him.
"She did mama! But I don't want to eat without you, I want to eat McDonald's with you! Please please!" You chuckled "Well, I am hungry too so~ let's go?" "Yay!!" He cutely cheered.
— Some time later —
You two were walking home from an alley, bringing take-out McDonald's when you see two men approaching you, they weren't friendly.
"Ollie get behind me." You sternly said as your son went back "Mama... I'm scared.." They were about to steal from you but someone pounced them from behind. "Look out!"
He fought the two men with ease, but at the same time he got injured. "Oh my goodness are you oka— OLIVER?!?!"
"I'm fine— MY LOVE?" You smacked him with your heavy shoulder bag which passed him out. "Oh shit- why did I do that-"
"Mama..? Why did you hit Mr. Hero? He saved us but you hurt him.." Ollie tugged your jacket. "I'm sorry baby, mama seemed to have reflexes-"
You decided to bring Aiku to your home, you carried him, and dang he was heavy. Your son kept laughing all the way home.
— Timeskip —
Aiku finally woke up in a place where he's unfamiliar with "Shit- where am I-?" Ollie was peaking in the door from the outside, checking up on Aiku "Hey little guy, don't be scared, do you know where I am?" Aiku asked gently.
"You're in our house Mr. Hero, mama placed you in the guest room, you were badly hit by mama, I'm sorry mama hit you.." Ollie answered.
Aiku simply chucked "It's okay, little one, your mama must be scared that's why, by the way what's your name?"
"Ollie" He said as he gave you a piece of chicken nugget. "Eat." Aiku gladly accepted the kid's nugget. He noticed Ollie's eyes were just like his, "Hey little one, look, your eyes look like mine, see?" Ollie gasped, you're right! I have heter— het— hetetormia!" Aiku laughed "Heterochemia little one, it's okay, nice try!" The both of them laughed. "Where's your papa?"
"I don't know, mama said, my real papa is nowhere to be found, but, I have a new papa!" Ollie happily said. Aiku went silent, "Really? What happened to your real papa?"
"I don't know, mama does not tell me.." Aiku went silent again.
"Mama!! Mr. Hero is awake!" Ollie happily went to you "Yes, I can see that baby.. Go to auntie maid first if that's okay, I need to talk to "Mr. Hero" here hmm?" You stated "Okay!" Ollie ran downstairs.
"T-thank you—"
"What were you doing in that alleyway?" You inserted "I was gonna ask you that? What were you doing in that alleyway with a child?!? That place is dangerous!"
"It was the shortest way home alright?! I'm too tired but my son wanted McDonald's with me, how could I say no?"
"But you should've at least rode a taxi back-?" "Why are you so concerned Aiku?"
"Answer me. Is that my child?"
You went silent. "Tell me please.."
"And what if he's yours? We're way over now Aiku, thank you for saving us, you may now leave the house now." Aiku grabbed your wrist "Pfft, this is nostalgic isn't it?" You flicked your arm "Nostalgia my ass, now leave."
"Please, if he's my son, can I make it up to him at least? Since when did you get pregnan—"
"THE MOMENT YOU LEFT ME." You both went silent. "H-how?"
"After I broke up with you, as soon as I got home, I felt sick." He went silent
"And when I had a gut feeling, I took the test. And it was positive.. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I SUFFERED RAISING A CHILD ALONE.. I never thought of abortion, never ever! Even if the father of the child was a jerk!"
"I-I'm sorr—"
"But I'm happily engaged to someone else now, who's a father figure to Ollie. We're totally happy, he bought a house for us to settle in, got me into a perfect job, a tiring one but still thankful. And a loving man." You cried. Aiku couldn't let out a word.
"My life had been a roller coaster ride, but Ollie was a blessing to me. And I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world."
"Can I at least... Be responsible for the child? For making it up?"
"I'm home!" A man called out from downstairs "That's him." You said as you went out of the room, and soon Aiku followed.
"Papa!!!" Ollie ran towards Barou and he carried Ollie. "How's my sweet boy doing?"
"Me and mama almost got snatched but luckily Mr. Hero saved us!" Ollie happily reported.
"Mr. Hero?" Barou asked as he landed his eyes on you and Aiku "Honey.." Barou knew between you and Aiku
"Love, I know.. Oliver, thank you, for everything. But I think you should leave.." You sternly said. "But I don't want Mr. Hero to go!!" Ollie cried. "It's okay little one, I have to go.. Call me Uncle Oliver, okay?" He said as he pats your son's head.
"Okay Uncle Oliver! When can we see each other again?" Ollie innocently asked.
"Soon, little one. Soon.." Aiku said as he bid you and Barou farewell and left.
As Aiku got out from the house, he looked back and saw your shadows from the window looking so lively, like a small but perfect family.
"I'm glad your doing well, my love.."
❥・• Nagi Seishiro
— You two are quite known as gamer couples during highschool, it may seem cliché, but for you, it's heaven. Imagine, playing your favourite games with the love of your life.
Nagi seems to be the lazy type but he is really good with hygiene and cleanliness. And he's really good in taking care of you. You didn't know why people call him 'lazy', when he's with you, he's the opposite of lazy, I mean he does act like a sloth, but he was never lazy in your eyes. He always come over to your apartment to play games with you, sometimes study date.
You also got used to his way of messaging you, he takes so long to reply. Sometimes he ghosts you, but when he's with you personally, he's really "boyfriend material".
Though recently, he soon joined soccer with Reo, his best friend. He was effortlessly good at it, I mean- he's the boyfriend who can do it all. You were proud of it, and you weren't sad at all, because he always found a way to make time with you by playing games.
But one time, you noticed he wasn't online. Even the online games, RPG, all offline.
"Huh- that's weird" You tried calling him through number and social medias but no answers. You gaslighted yourself maybe he was busy. But those "busy days" you thought Nagi had went for over 2 months now.
You felt betrayed, he ghosted you for 2 months now. Which was weird, because even Reo, you couldn't contact him.
You had enough, you went to the sports office in your school, and ask where Nagi had gone. Their coach said that they had an invitation from a certain soccer school. But usually Nagi would update you if ever where he was. You overthought, maybe the place they went took their devices, which is funny- because it would look like they were prisoned.
— 2 years later —
It's been 2 years since Nagi ghosted you, you're finally a freshman in college. You graduated without him, you felt sad but you had to continue. You never held a grudge over Nagi, because you still love him.
"Wherever you are right now Shiro.. Always remember I am here supporting you from afar.." You spoke to yourself as you felt the breeze brushed your skin.
You're a college student currently taking Computer Science. It's been you and Nagi's dream to develop a game, but you two couldn't figure out what game would you develop. So you decided to study about computer logic for now..
— Timeskip —
You overheard your blockmates about this "Blue Lock", everyone was so hype about it. You were curious so you asked one of them "Uhm— excuse me.. What's this Blue Lock you guys are talking about-?"
"Oh! It's a team of soccer players who are playing against U-20, you know Sendou? Omg he's so hot!" They squealed "Soccer?" You repeated "You heard that right!" The other one replied.
Hmm.. Blue Lock.. Interesting..
— Timeskip —
As you got home, you opened your laptop and checked this Blue Lock thing everyone was so hyped about.
It showed soccer players, who were indeed going to play againt the other team called U-20.
You scrolled through the player's profile, and..
You gasped. "NAGI!?!"
You pressed his profile to see if it was really him. "It really is him... He's going to be playing against the U-20, and he's part of the Top 11 in blue lock? Wow, Shiro... I never knew you went this far.."
Then you saw the other players who will be back-up players for the game, then you saw Reo.. "Mikage— REO?!?!" You gasped once again "How many chapters did I miss?!?!" You noticed Nagi's features matured "He changed a lot.."
You researched on where to buy a ticket for the game and...
"Bingo!"
— Timeskip —
It was time of the game, and soon enough you arrived just in time, and as you were finding a place to sit, you saw someone selling jerseys. Then you saw a Jersey with Nagi's name on it.
You comfortably sat on a seat with Nagi's jersey. "This is cozy-" You surprisingly complimented.
There it was, the players came from from the inner gymnasium and you finally saw your white haired cutie "LET'S GO SHIRO!!!"
The person sitting next to you "Who are you supporting to?" "My boyfriend" You proudly said, they gave you a judging look but you didn't care. You were admiring Nagi from afar.
The game soon started and majority of the people where only cheering for U-20. "Why aren't they supporting Blue Lock?" You asked yourself.
The game was neck-to-neck, but then suddenly Nagi got the ball, and did an insane trick.
"Nice to meet you Japan. I'm Nagi Seishiro!" He kicked the ball and scored a goal for Blue Lock.
Everyone went silent, everyone was too stunned to speak even his teammates.
"Uhh— did I mess up introducing myself?"
Everyone cheered, the crowd goes wild. Blue Lock got up from their bench and cheered on, even U-20 was impressed by the skill Nagi has executed.
You went silent for a moment, as if everything blurred around you.
"That's your boyfriend right?" The person next to you interacted again. You couldn't respond because you were too focused on Nagi.
"Shiro... You've evolved..."
— Timeskip —
It was 3-3, it was tie and only 5 minutes. You were shivering, worried because the game was on the edge of the tightrope.
"Please please..." You manifested.
Suddenly one of Nagi's teammate berserked from the opposing teams blind spot, then he scored.
3-4
Blue Lock won..
Everyone cheered, the crowd went insane. You cried, you did not expect these two whole years, your boyfriend ghosted you because he was intensely training in Blue Lock.
"I'm so proud of you.. Shiro.."
— The next day —
Overnight, you finally decided what game you would develop, a soccer simulation. Where everyone can be a soccer player.
You fell asleep on your desk with the screen with full-brightness. Someone was knocking on your doorstep.
You were too tired to wake up so you didn't care about the knocking on the door, but you soon heard a key unlocking your door.
You wanted to check it out but your body was too heavy to sit up, you only had an hour sleep, because you were up all night developing the game.
You soon felt a kiss on the cheek, and was carried in bridal style. "Hmm.." You groaned "I'm home baby.." You heard a familiar soothing voice. "Hmm.." Is all you could answer.
As you woke up, you noticed you were already in bed, you swore you were sleeping on your computer desk. You saw a glass of milk and cookies on your side bed and Choki beside the food. "Choki?"
You soon turned to your computer desk, a fluffy white hair peeking out on your computer chair, doing some typing and clicking.
You tried to approach slowly, but he turned the chair immediately and pounced on you.
"SHIRO?!!" Both of you made a thug sound as you fell to the floor "Hi baby." Nagi was now on top of you. "I'm home." He calmly said as he laid on you. "GAH!! You're heavy, get off!" You cried.
He assisted you to sit up and suddenly kissed you "I missed you.." He pouted. "You literally ghosted me for 2 years you lazy ass." You rolled your eyes "I thought you never thought of me as lazy..."
"I'm mad at you. Hmph— HEY!" He carried you and led both of you to bed "I saw the game you developed, you knew huh?" He brushed your cheeks "Yeah, I watched your game yesterday, you did amazing out there"
"How did you know? I couldn't update you... Our phones were confiscated" You laughed "I KNEW IT!" You laughed again "I knew Blue Lock because the university I'm in were talking about it, you're literally the topic of the students" You chuckled.
"Oh how I missed your laugh..." He said as he snuggles himself in your body. "Even though you ghosted me for 2 years straight, I still waited for you.." You suddenly felt emotional. "I'm sorry for making you wait baby, how 'bout we snuggle the whole day straight?" He suggested. "But.. The game?"
"The game can wait, for now, I want you.. It's been so long since I scented you... I missed you so so much.." Nagi buried his face onto your chest, you simply chuckled.
"You physically changed, but you're still the Nagi Seishiro I know.." "I grew taller didn't I?" You both laughed "Yes you did Shiro.. Yes you did.."
You both fell asleep in that position, you indeed will be sleeping the whole day, after a chaotic week you just had.
End.
#blue lock#bllk#blue lock x female reader#blue lock x reader#bllk yukimiya#yukimiya kenyu#bllk sae#sae itoshi#itoshi sae#oliver aiku#bllk aiku#blue lock aiku#bllk nagi#nagi seishiro#blue lock au
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I gotta answer this one, because if I'm not included in 'people' here, I'd be surprised, because this particular axe is one I find it very difficult not to grind for some reason (...Probably one I just need to articulate for myself). Also, I'm answering because I love your blog and though I have read and understood what you meant, as detailed above in paragraph 1, I still disagree, and paragraph 2 does not reflect anything I heard or thought you meant. Again, if I am not 'people' in this case, I apologize for the presumption.
I'll start with thing 2, which is something I think about love, and it's this: I don't agree that there is a any way in which relationships and forgiveness 'should' function. I think love is a relationship in which we don't owe anyone anything, but where, out of our own freedom, we choose to give everything. I also think that relationships are as individual as people, and as complex and the two people in them, that each one has its own character and way of functioning, and that no one but the people in them really understands exactly what it is.
Basically, it comes down to this: I think ALL narratives about how relationships and forgiveness 'should' function are questionable narratives, and not because I'm an edgelord, but because I think that love, relationships of love and forgiveness are all products of our freedom and free will, and that they cannot be obliged or owed; they can only be freely given.
Taking that to the show, I think it's probably the main reason I love Supernatural so much is what it's saying about the nature of love, forgiveness, goodness and relationships, and the relationship of these things to freedom and free will. I think these themes are at the heart of what the show is doing. Dean and Cas's very specific love story arises so organically out of who they both are, and and out of the the way they both have their hearts oriented on the other, while trying to navigate their inhumanly difficult circumstances, traumas and personalities.
This might go long, so...
Dean is probably my favourite character EVER. I love him and I am not at all joking when I say that I think he is in some important way essentially and elementally faultless, but with that in mind: I think Dean is really unfair to Cas in the end of season 14. In Absence, when he blames Cas for not telling him something wasn't right with Jack when Dean knew FULL WELL that something wasn't right with Jack? I just felt that was not fair, full stop, and I think Dean knew it!
They ALL KNEW that Jack was in trouble.
Dean's anger is a crutch he leans into when the things he's feeling hurt too much, and in that episode, Cas walks into that cabin and Dean, fearing what's happened to Mary and Jack, turns his back on Cas immediately. He's feeling pain, fear and loss, and Cas arrives (feeling the very same things!) and Dean immediately directs all of his vulnerable feelings at Cas as anger. Cas, on the other hand, is immediately and verbally vulnerable with Dean. He expresses his pain, fear and sense of loss to Dean using WORDS. Says outright that he was afraid, that he made a mistake in trying to go it alone, that Jack was good for them and made them a family, that he didn't want to lose that, expresses guilt over his faith in Jack, which now seems misplaced. I have to say that there is almost no moment in Supernatural that I find more painful than the one just before Dean breaks the chair in that cabin. I hated the way I could see it coming. I hated knowing that his pain would be expressed as anger.
I also think it undermines Dean's inclusion of Cas in his notion of family when they lose Mary, and Dean behaves as if the loss is only theirs, and not Cas's. Cas loved Mary too. Cas lost her, too, and Cas feels responsible for what happened to her, but Dean can't let himself acknowledge that he has any responsibility at that moment because it's too painful so... he blames Cas. The reality is that neither of them is to blame AT ALL. It was Jack, who is compromised, and it was the work of a weak moment -- A horribly tragic, fucking awful accident. Later, at Rowena's place, Dean admits to Sam that he knew there was something wrong and that he was warned at Donatello's, but that he just couldn't see it (couldn't LET himself see it I think, because he's holding onto that little family as hard as Cas is), but despite that he still directs all his anger towards Cas for the rest of the season despite the fact that Cas loses Mary, loses Jack, loses Rowena, and on top of all that, is losing Dean -- his whole family and the person he loves most all at once -- the whole time.
At Mary's pyre, Cas wants to comfort Dean, and Sam doesn't let him, which...ok Sam, good time to finally acknowledge how Dean processes grief. I guess there's a first time for everything! And, at the hunter's wake in the bunker, I find Cas standing there behind Dean, but estranged from Dean and in some important way, excluded from Dean's grief, really painful. Am I blaming Dean? No! He is who he is, and he is deeply profoundly good, and deeply, profoundly in pain.
So, Cas went it alone, again!, which is his mistaken pattern, and he did not tell them about the snake. That was wrong, and Cas admits as much. On Dean's side, his anger is also legitimate problem, and more importantly, it's also a lie he is telling himself, because he is not really angry, he is grieving, and he is broken-hearted and the pain and never-ending horror of everything that follows is overwhelming him. Then, as we all know, the hits keep coming right up until their break up in The Rupture, at which point both of them are so wracked with pain, loss and guilt that BOTH OF THEM act against their own hearts -- Cas by leaving, Dean by letting him walk out.
As I said above, I don't think that in love, you can OWE anyone anything, and definitely not an apology, but I think you can give the person you love grace out of your own exigency and freedom, and I think that's what Dean does, and it's also what Cas does. I don't agree that the episode legitimizes Cas's worse tendencies, and I don't think there's a way forgiveness is 'supposed to function.' I think Dean apologizes because he loves Cas, and he needs to get right with himself and with his own heart. Dean knows in his own bones his anger towards Cas was wrong, that it keeps them apart when they should be together, and more than that, that it was a lie -- a lie that his love, which is much stronger than anything else in him, can't let him hold onto when he realizes that he may have lost his chance to tell Cas that he loves him, that he wanted him to stay. I don't agree at all that it amounts to the story telling us that Dean has to get over everything forever. They both caused the rupture, they both forgave, and I also understand why Dean had to say it FOR HIMSELF at that particular moment.
For me, The Trap is not about absolving Cas, it's about Dean getting right with Dean, not because Cas is owed an apology, but because Dean has to give one for his own sake. Cas forgave Dean a long time ago, and didn't need an apology to do it, he only needed to know Dean's heart, which he does. Just like I think Dean forgave Cas while he was walking up the fucking stairs to leave and Dean was realizing that he didn't want him to go, even though he was too down in it to say so then.
For me, the episode is deeply satisfying as a Dean Enjoyer because I love when Dean's beautiful, loving, gorgeous heart wins, and I love watching him speak it, and tell the truth about what he feels, both to himself and to Cas. I love that Dean's exigency is ALWAYS love. That Dean has it in his power to give Cas that grace, and with it, probably gave Cas the strength to fight.
Ultimately, I think the nature of love and forgiveness as something that can only be freely given out of one's own exigency is such an important thing that Supernatural is saying about love and the responsibility it engenders. Does Dean OWE something to Cas? No, not really. Does he, out of his own needs and his own freedom have to give everything? Because that is what love requires? Yes. And he does.
He always does.
And it just makes me love him so fucking goddamned much. For me, that is the satisfaction of The Trap.
What you say: The Trap is a dissatisfying episode that presents some questionable narratives about the way relationships and forgiveness should function, and never meaningfully addresses any of Cas’s problems. Instead, it legitimizes Cas’s repeated tendency to keep secrets as a reasonable behavior that Dean needs to get over.
What people hear: Dean did nothing wrong and nothing he ever said about Cas was ever unfair. Cas is entirely and solely responsible for the breakdown of his and Dean’s relationship and Mary’s death is all his fault. Cas should die. Destiel is dead and Cas killed it. I hate him and he smells. Also I killed at least three of your dogs.
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Feel free to be more specific in comments/notes if you want! If you want to elaborate further, how do you organize them? By role, species, age, alphabetical order, vibes or something else?
#I use a mix of improperly used site (Trello) and writing it all down in Drive (docs and sheets my beloved)#sure I also use tumblr but it's all already written in the sacred texts(?) so that feels like an extension of my note docs#and lol it used to be ALL in my mind. then I learned not to trust my memory too much. anything I think and I like goes down on a note.#that said I'm considering moving it all to Obsidian (as soon as I learn how to use it) because of some nitpicks I have with docs#anyway so far I organized my gw2 ocs in story-relevancy categories: Main. Extra. Background. Companions.#mains do story-relevant stuff. extras are supporting characters to mains or have minor roles in important story stuff. backgrounds are -#- mostly family or part of others' backstory. companions are pets/mounts/constructs/creatures (and get their own subcategories).#I should probably go back and change some OCs' categories though oops#poll#am curious therefore I ask#(and I need to compare how I do these things because I feel like I could improve in some areas)#I poll you answer
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gigantic yakumo
ABSOLUTELY NOT
#wtfd??? what is yakumo doing out in public????#that's illegal. who was standing on that street corner wwaiting for the exact moment that yakumo shows up in both screens#i am escaping to the underground#the longer i stay on that street corner the more i will evaporate into dust#not the fun glittery whimsical kind.#the straight up toxic and microscopically shard-shaped kind of dust that'll pierce your organs from the inside#exposure to giant yakumo will only end badly for us all#feesh answer
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I've finally let my friends talk me into being brave
#I'm gonna make calls this week about both blacksmithing#and voice lessons#I'm really excited about both#I've REALLY missed trad sessions and hopefully I can get my voice back into shape#my mom's gonna get me voice lessons for christmas#and hopefully that should both build my confidence and really help me seek out folk music places here#god I want to crawl under a rock#why is a 9-5 so anathematic to being Weird [ironic]#Good Reminder I Did Not Have To Leave This All Behind After Grad School#anyway posting here so if you know me irl you can hold me to it#god#why is this so scary#[answer is I am used to doing this all organically]#[and making decisions and taking steps is scary]
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Hello! I'm new to this blog and I was just wondering whatever happened to King's Gambit (the 95 line collab)? i'm not really expecting a full answer but I just wanted to talk to you and had nothing else to say ❤️
the king's gambit masterlist — teaser for my fic
don't worry it definitely is still happening and we haven't forgotten about it!! for this collab there's one plot shared between all three of us, and we're each writing a member's perspective so everything is interconnected with each other's fics. since they share the same major events we can't really move forward on the fics unless all of us are ready at the same time, and it's been hard finding time for us to get together and flesh out how our fics end. we are for sure going to finish it eventually because we've all put way too much work into this for it to never be posted (mine is currently at 22k, nova's @duhnova is around 20k and mars @onlymingyus is over 60k) but i can't give you a timeline because i don't know it myself :/ i would really really love for it to be out by the end of this year but that may not be possible, it just depends on the other members of the collab and how much we can all get written. i know it's been over a year since we announced it and i'm so so sorry that we've kept everyone waiting, i want to finish this fic as much as you want to read it and i wish i had something better to update you guys with but that's honestly all i have for now
#[💌] — asks#[👤] — anon#[✏️] — the king's gambit#all of us work and nova & i have school + other stuff going on so we havent all gotten to sit down and organize stuff in a minute#it may be 6 months it may be 2 years i really dont know but i am absolutely going to stick around until it gets posted#but i promise they will be posted someday!!! i wont leave yall hanging#honestly ive been really excited to work on it again recently but weve all had busy schedules so it probably wont happen *soon*#but i am hoping to make at least a bit more progress before the end of the year#once the main fic is posted im gonna do a series of extra drabbles/scenarios bc i love cheol hes my baby i have so much to say about him#the original estimate for my fic was 25k. its going to be a LOT more than that#so there is a lot of content to look forward to but you will have to wait a while#im sorry thats probably not the answer you wanna hear :( but it definitely isnt forgotten its always in the back of my mind asjgdkfs
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I think theoretically if I drink crazy fast and do not stop I could finish the bottle tonight before I go to bed but what satisfaction would that bring? The fact that I’m tolerance enough that I can have 25 shots of 60 proof without dying? (That’s equivalent to 18-19 shots of normal unflavored vodka but that doesn’t. Hmm. That doesn’t sound better or more reasonable.) anyway whatever this is not the lowest point of my whole entire life but it’s pretty damn low. But it still beats being actively suicidal at night. Like I often was when drinking wasn’t an option. Quite a conundrum
#luke.txt#drunkposting#drinking has made me put off the question how do I not want to die? because the short term answer is get drunk about it duh!#a lot of the treatment materials for drinking too much are a lot like the treatment materials for being suicidal#aka they assume that what you’re doing is impulsive instead of something you’ve been planning all day (drinking) or all month (suicide)#useless to someone like me who HAS weighed the pros and cons and decidided dying/getting blackout drunk is the preferable solution#come on man just cuz I have adhd doesn’t mean all my shit is impulsivity#I used my logic brain for a lot of this#other parts of the college Pleeeeeease Don’t Do Drugs program focused around fixing problems by doing things I don’t know how to do#like meeting local friends. or finding a higher purpose (can’t do that when organized religion is weird about queer people)#like sorry! sorry because of who I am my life just kinda has to have No Meaning#I dunno. I sought out help. and then the help was not helpful#sorry :(
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Watching you get got by the teru reigen virus in real time is so funny dude. And you're right
EXCUSE TO DRAW REIGEN AND TERU SPOTTED
dude im so sick in the head about them its not even funny (it is). the teru reigen virus is NO JOKE GUYS. it can get you any time anywhere and you wont even know until it's TOO LATE. but yes like you said i am incredibly correct
also since i have yall here
youtube
you have to see my vision. this song is so them. in a non-romantic way of course
#i need to make an entire post of my Thoughts about them. because i am so so crazy.#aka mew thinks about teru and reigen for too long and throws up#ARGHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH I DONT HAVE MY THOUGHTS ALL PUT TOGETHER DONT LOOK AT ME#the picture featured above is CLEARLY after theyve been domesticated. it would not be smooth sailing at first.#also teru's sock is the same color as reigen's tie did you notice. did you did you notice that did um did yall see tha#im so jumbled ill have to organize everything later.........#god. i love them so much. reigen would be a horrible father and teru isnt used to parental authority. aiheuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugy#also hi moongpie. you witnessed me at a very vulnerable moment in my life(paragraph of tags).#i kept thinking about this ask and i was itching to doodle something for it until i was finally able to sit my ass down and be FREE.thnakyo#ok i need to go do something hruoouuggrr (passes away)#i really wanna expound so more later hopefully#mob psycho 100#mp100#teruki hanazawa#reigen arataka#NOT a ship. duh#mob psycho fanart#meowmeow art#asks#mewmew answers
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none of this is new info, but you know I have the "loves to write lists and compile links" disposition, so I thought it might be helpful to share some of the tips I've seen about how to make sure you're sharing legitimate palestinian evacuation fundraisers and bundle all those tips into a single handy reference post.
this is a spreadsheet of legitimate ("vetted") fundraisers on tumblr.
this post explains how the people who maintain this spreadsheet confirm the legitimacy of each fundraiser they add.
this podcast episode ("yousef and the fourth move") explains why evacuation fundraisers are often organized by people who don't live in gaza and/or who may not be immediate relatives of the people trying to evacuate. it's part three of a series about a man named yousef and his family; parts one and two aren't required listening for part three to make sense, but if you have a few hours to spare then I wholeheartedly recommend listening to all of them.
this is the process that I personally have been using to check whether a particular fundraiser has been vetted:
spreadsheet method
open the vetted fundraisers spreadsheet.
inside this spreadsheet, open the "find..." menu. on a windows computer, this shortcut is ctrl+F. on a mac, this shortcut is cmd+F. on a mobile device, click the three dots menu in the upper right corner of your screen, then select Find and replace.
search for the last name of the person or family in the fundraiser. you may get several results because last names obviously aren't unique; keep hitting "next" until you've looked at all the results.
if you find an entry in the spreadsheet that has the exact same name and whose gofundme link leads to the same fundraiser associated with the blog, it's legitimate. if you don't find an entry in the spreadsheet that matches the blog's fundraiser, that does not mean it's a scam. try the next method below!
tumblr search method
copy the username of the tumblr who originally posted the fundraiser and/or sent you a message asking you to boost the fundraiser. (for example, username123)
paste this username into tumblr's search bar.
for best results, click the All types drop-down menu, then select Text. since the search page is often dominated by asks sent by username123 (which people then answer and tag with their username), this helps narrow things down a bit.
look to see if any people who are not username123 have made posts confirming that username123 is legitimate. this includes people who've reblogged fundraisers and added notes, people who've compiled masterlists, and people sharing hyperlinks to other posts confirming a fundraiser's legitimacy. if the message seems to be "yep, looks legit," then it's safe to assume it's legit.
this is not a comprehensive list, but here are some of the usernames I've seen associated with "yep, looks legit"-type posts and who I've come to trust by association. (disclaimers: I am not mutuals with any of the users, and not all of them do the vetting firsthand, but the ones who don't vet posts themselves still seem to be careful about what they share and therefore are a good lead to follow. also, don't bug these people to vet fundraisers for you unless they've specifically indicated that they're open to that.)
90-ghost
el-shab-hussein
nabulsi
appsa
northgazaupdates
retvolution
communistchilchuck
neptunerings
a-shade-of-blue
shimamitsu
neither of these methods yielded anything definitive; what now?
it may just be too early to tell. unless a trusted source has shared overwhelming evidence that a particular fundraiser is a scam (which seems to be a very very rare occurrence), the best thing you can do is ignore it. don't report their blog as spam, because there's a good chance it's a legitimate fundraiser who just hasn't been vetted yet.
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FIREFLIES NEVER CAME ; SATORU GOJO
synopsis; your seat is close to the heater. that’s the only reason gojo comes there to warm up.
word count; 4.2k
contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, teen!satoru, set in a canon au, mutual pining, fluff, a little bittersweet (melancholic winter vibes <3), introvert/extrovert, reader is antisocial and dense as a brick (black cat vibes :3), also kind of self-deprecating, satoru is very shoujo manga coded, just lots of puppy love!! feat. wingman!suguru <3
a/n; this wasn’t meant to be a fic …… it was gonna be really short and sweet ……… (T_T) anyway i am very fond of this reader/character dynamic so i hope you enjoy reading abt my emotionally stunted kids 🫶 biggest mwah in the world dedicated to professor logan (@staryukis) for teaching me about physics so i could find a loophole in satoru’s infinity :3c all for the sake of lore-accurate (kinda) fluff <3
”what are you listening to?”
your seat is close to the heater.
it was nothing but a lucky draw, really. yaga-sensei was organizing the desks when you transferred, and so he gave you the first choice; one you had no trouble making, latching on to the chair in the very back, right by the window, right by the sole heater of the room. vital for surviving your chilly winter classes.
so there you sit. a warmth sneaks through your fuzzy socks, tends to your restless legs. your feet tap and tap, on the cold floorboards, in rhythm with your never-ending thoughts, spinning like a planet in orbit.
through the fogged-up, frosted glass of the window to your left, you observe the world. headphones covering your ears, safe and snug, muffling all noise. you watch as snow falls, wholly entranced, eyes stuck on the icy snowflakes descending from the wool-gray sky — blanketing the frostbitten landscape of the courtyard. it’s pretty, all those skeletal trees, glittering and gleaming like they have something to say. sometimes they look like stars.
”… hey. did you hear me?”
gojo is being particularly chatty, today.
out of the corner of your eye, you see him wave his hand right in front of your face. you’re almost certain he doesn’t realize that it’s rude; he must be used to all eyes being on him, from the moment he speaks.
with a flutter of your lashes, you lift your weary head. meeting his gaze, the blurry shine of your own visage, reflected in his circle-frame glasses. a soft tilt of his head, and then his lips are twitching upwards, just barely, snowy strands gliding across his forehead and falling over his face. like an excited puppy.
”what are you listening to?”
you read the words off his lips, all sound muffled by your headphones. quick to lift one of your hands, pulling one of the heavy ear cushions away — letting all white noise in the room flood your senses. the snarls of the wind outside, ieiri’s laughter, the scribbling of geto’s pen against paper.
it’s overwhelming, but a small price to pay. his voice is softer than usual, during moments like these; there’s a pleasant lull to it.
gojo tips his head to the right, still awaiting your response. all you can do is stare, watching your own reflection, fingers gripping onto the edge of your desk. as if seeking to ground yourself.
with a spoonful of hesitance, you part your lips.
”… do you like music?”
the words seep out into the air, a softly exhaled breath. gojo watches you, silently, for just a moment.
then he gives you a shrug.
”i guess?” he hums, shifting his weight from one foot to another — hand slipping into the pocket of his uniform. ”that’s more suguru’s thing.”
ah.
your mouth forms around the syllable, as if responding, but not making any sound. gaze fleeing from his glasses, crumbling under their weight, straying towards the frosted window to your left. safe, familiar, rotting trees and twitching branches. snow just as pure as the boy in front of you.
silence overtakes you both, once more.
”... not gonna answer?” he asks, with another tilt of his head, absently rocking side to side as he lets out an exhale. ”is it a secret, or something?”
(it is, you think. but you can’t say it out loud.)
before you can part your lips again, the classroom door slides open — and you know it’s yaga-sensei just by the way his feet hit the floorboards, the decisive weight behind every step. you know even before he’s telling you to get back to your seats.
on cue, gojo stands up straighter, shooting you another glance. bright-eyed, easy-going, every star in the sky leaping out from the glimpse you get of his eyes when he angles his body. two blue pools, flecked with white, like frozen puddles in the street.
and then he’s strolling away.
gojo leaves, and you take off your headphones; stretching your legs underneath the desk. reaching for your ballpoint pencil, flipping open your textbook, and indulging in sleepy blinks, as yaga begins to drone on and on. you stifle a yawn with the sleeve of your blazer, resting your jaw on the heel of your palm. eyes inevitably straying towards a head of white hair.
but your name is called before you can get lost in your daydreams.
”page 27, from the top.”
your chair scrapes against the floorboards, as you sluggishly stand up. holding onto your textbook, flipping the pages until you land on the correct passage. with shaky hands, not enough to notice, you read out loud; voice controlled, almost monotone. all you can think is that you feel his frost-clad eyes on you, from the row straight ahead.
but you continue to speak. you speak until you reach the end of the page, until you’re allowed to take your seat again, happy to feel the warmth of the heater radiate against your legs. it’s this warmth that’s important, the most important thing of all.
without it, gojo wouldn’t bother to stop by your desk.
nearly every recess, as soon as yaga leaves the classroom, he’s waltzing over — leaning against the wall, stretching his arms out, purring contentedly as heat spreads throughout his body. you think he must run cold. chatting with you, just to pass the time, just until your teacher comes back. just to warm up.
then he’s leaving, again.
that’s all it is. a cold boy, and a heater by your desk — a conversation that otherwise wouldn’t have occured. even the strongest is vulnerable to changes in temperature, you suppose.
though if warmth is all that binds him to you, it’s bound to dwindle away.
(you’re sure he’ll stop as soon as spring comes.)
the next day, gojo is nowhere to be seen. you saw yaga-sensei drag him out of the classroom this morning; something about a clan meeting, something you weren’t paying attention to.
but now you wish you had.
(it’s quiet, without him around. eerily so.)
with nothing to lose, and nothing else to do — you push your chair away from your desk, and walk up to your classmate, a question on your mind.
”… music? are you looking for recommendations?”
you nod.
geto blinks. caught off guard, you’re sure, surprised that you’d approach him without any prior coaxing. he’s usually the one striking up a conversation with you, like a responsible class president, making sure the weird kid doesn’t feel left out. you’re almost certain he doesn’t realize that it’s patronizing.
”hmm... well, that depends.” he gives you a smile, soft around the edges. it never feels as genuine as gojo’s, but it’s calming. ”what kind of music do you usually listen to?”
…
you glance down at the floor. bundling up the cuffs of your uniform, fingers clawing softly at the fabric, bottom lip trapped between two sets of teeth.
”… what kind of music does gojo like?”
silence. your words are barely spoken, just above a whisper, just like always, but geto picks up on them anyway. you can tell he does, can feel the weight of his keen eyes on your face. analytical.
then he parts his lips.
”… ohhh.” a low hum, ripe with meaning, buzzing at the bottom of his throat. the corners of his lips quirk up into a knowing smile. ”i see.”
heat rushes to your cheeks, blossoms under your skin. if he notices, he’s even more composed than you thought he was, because he doesn’t mention it. only continues to speak, in that soothing voice, crossing his arms in silent thought.
”hmm…” you follow his gaze, out towards the window, the same webs of frost as always. it’s not snowing, but you still can’t see the blue of the sky. ”i’ve never seen him listen to music before, so i wouldn’t know.”
you can’t help but deflate, at that.
geto only smiles. exhaling, through his nose, mildly humoured — though he’s good at hiding his amusement. ”… what do you think that means?”
a blink. your lashes flutter, as you gaze up at him.
”… huh?”
”satoru doesn’t listen to music, but he wants to know what you’re listening to.” he says the words almost coachingly, like he’s listing off a string of numbers. you realize he must have been listening in on your conversation, but it doesn’t bother you nearly as much as his tone. ”what do you think that means?”
…
(you haven’t got a clue.)
geto lets out a chuckle, laced with mirth, no longer trying to hide it. paired with a soft shake of his head, a crinkle to the corners of his eyes. ”why do you want to know about his taste in music, then?”
(… that’s a good question.)
he seems to notice your hesitance, your apprehension, the way your teeth seek to trap your bottom lip; always the victim of your muddled mind. you know the answer, of course you do — but it isn’t something you want others knowing.
thankfully, geto breaks the silence for you.
”i don’t think you need to try so hard, when it comes to him.” his voice is soft, almost sincere, something warmer than usual. glancing away when you meet his eyes. ”… he isn’t worth the effort, anyway.”
but that’s where he’s wrong.
satoru gojo is a special case. a special person. in the orbit of your life, there’s no star you’d rather keep — no one quite as ripe with colour.
geto couldn’t possibly understand, because gojo is always with him — always orbiting around him. he always will, until you graduate, probably even beyond that. geto has him. they’re the strongest, a pair, always matching their steps to one another. but you only have these quiet days, these chilly classes in between never-ending missions — and that’s all.
when the frost outside the window thaws, gojo will surely stop visiting your desk. your lonely little world.
that’s exactly why — you need to find a song. if you just teach him about something wonderful enough, if you can give him something other than warmth…
(… maybe he’ll stay with you even after spring comes.)
”next time, why don’t you say what’s on your mind?”
geto’s suggestion breaks you out of your thoughts. when you raise your head, to meet the warm pools of amber in his eyes, he gives you a smile. there’s nothing patronizing about the way he’s looking at you now — if anything, you think it may even be slightly fond, but you can never tell what he’s actually feeling. he’s frightening, like that, always a mirror to his circumstances. a chameleon, tilting his head at you.
… though you can’t help but fall victim to the kindness in his eyes. the velveteen purr of his voice.
”i’m sure he’ll appreciate that.”
a nervous pit opens up in your chest, an empty space that gnaws incessantly at your heart. will he?, you want to ask, but it feels like the words are made out of lead. you can’t get them out of your throat.
”… okay,” is all you end up whispering, a soft lull of your tongue. ”i’ll try… thank you.”
geto rewards you with a full smile.
”don’t mention it.”
spring is closer than you thought.
it’s all you can think, when you step onto the pavement, when you feel the morning air gnaw at your frostbitten cheeks. it’s freezing, it’s winter, but the signs of changing seasons are still there — a lonesome snowdrop, the crackle of an icy puddle beneath your feet. the frost is beginning to thaw.
in a month or so, spring will be here — there’s no stopping it.
”did you bring your card?”
your headphones rest around your neck, allowing you to listen in on your classmates' conversation. all four of you are together, for once, all first-years, walking towards the nearest konbini — at gojo’s insistence.
it’s been a week since you had that talk with geto, but you still haven’t made any progress with him.
”huh? was i supposed to?”
”… are you kidding me?”
you glance up at the pair. always walking just a little bit ahead, their tall statures obscuring the view in front of you; shoko lags behind, with lazy steps, a trail of tobacco drifting out into the crispy air. all while snowflakes fall from the sky, gently, landing in your hair, on your shoulders, melting on the inside of your palm when you hold it out to catch them. watching as they turn into droplets of water, slip through the gaps between your fingers.
someone taps your shoulder.
geto has snowflakes stuck in his hair. they’re melting, in the strands of ink-black framing his face, matching the colour of the thick polo jacket he’s wearing. a bright red scarf is tied around his throat, and there’s a weighty look in his eyes — something telling.
a silent cue.
he falls back, slowly but surely, into ieiri’s lazy pace. not before murmuring something unintelligible to gojo, and shooting you a wink — one that makes you frown, confused, a low heat blooming at the base of your spine and crawling up your neck.
and then you realize what he’s done.
gojo is looking right at you, through the black glass of his specs. only wearing a baseball jacket, no gloves or scarves to keep him warm, despite the harsh bite of the open air. for a guy who runs cold, he must not put much thought into his clothing.
more importantly…
it’s just the two of you, now.
you blink at him, silent as a mouse. it only takes a moment for him to start moving, for you to follow, taking your place beside him while staring right ahead. if he’s bothered by geto slinking away, he doesn’t show it — only continues to walk.
”… that’s so unfair.”
gojo’s voice breaks the silence. you turn your head to gaze at him, the way his lips wrap around the vowels, haphazardly hanging onto every word he speaks.
”just ’cause i have clan money,” he kicks at a pebble on the side of the road, wisps of white hair swaying with a shake of his head, ”suguru thinks i should pay for our snacks. isn’t that unfair?”
you hesitate. then you nod along, absently.
he seems to take that as a yes, because it makes him brighten — as if gleaming with your approval, standing a little straighter, puffing out his chest with an exhale that turns into white smoke.
”right? they only give it to me because they want me to come back to kyoto, anyway…” he trails off, holding the tip of his tongue between his lips. ”… not that it matters. anyway, i just think he’s oppressive.”
”… mm.”
from this angle, you can see a sliver of his eyes. can see the way he steals a glance at you, without even turning his head — hands slipping into his pockets. there’s a moment of silence, until he’s parting his lips again.
”… i can buy some for you, though.”
(you barely pick up on the words, spoken almost in a whisper — as if an afterthought.)
he clears his throat.
”… if you don’t have the money, i mean.”
you can’t help but blink, at that — lashes fluttering in rapid succession, wondering if you heard him correctly. he doesn’t seem keen on elaborating, though. walking on, ignoring all snowflakes descending from the sky, eager to nuzzle in between his locks. his infinity keeps them out.
”… why?”
it’s all you can say. all you can verbalize.
(in a story like this, why would the brightest star of all orbit around someone like you?)
gojo gives you another glance. his iris cuts into your skin, observes you on what you’re sure must be a molecular level. he lets silence linger, for a moment, tipping his head back to look up at the sky.
gray, and more gray. flecks of white. you’d see the same thing he does.
”hmm…” he lets out a breath, head falling forward again, snowy strands ghosting against the skin of his forehead. ”let’s call it a trade.”
another series of blinks.
gojo turns towards you, then — a fresh grin blooming on his lips. white teeth, pink gums. it makes him look boyish, innocent, just another city boy with too much time on his hands.
”i buy you snacks — and you tell me what music you’re always listening to.” he bends his body forward, tilts his head at the same time, all lanky and charming, like a big cat. ”deal?”
you stay silent.
he’s looking at your headphones, still left neglected around your neck. your gaze falls down to the icy concrete, the thin layer of frost, waiting to be melted by the first sunrays of spring. whenever that will be.
geto and shoko are still behind you — you can hear their low, muffled chatter, smell the remnants of tobacco in the air. and you swear you can practically hear geto’s words, echoing through your head.
(why do you think that is?)
gojo is still looking at you. expectantly, lips curled up into a lazy smile. he’s waiting, you know he is, and you also know he isn’t very good at that. you know a lot of things — what you don’t know is what to say. you don’t know if you can believe in whatever geto was insinuating, don’t know if you can grapple with your own longing to do so.
(next time, why don’t you say what’s on your mind?)
geto doesn’t get it. he doesn’t know what your feelings towards gojo truly look like. doesn’t know that what’s on your mind when he’s around is always something horrifically embarrassing. something like, i want to know more about you, or maybe i wish i could tell you more about me. something awfully cheesy, like — i’m jealous of how bright you shine, but i can’t help but like you anyway.
if i become your friend, would it be okay to say i understand your loneliness? that i notice it, even just by a fraction?
would that be okay with you?
(words that should be left unspoken.)
”… well, it’s not like you have to.” gojo exhales, again, the words a heavy weight seeping past his throat. his shoulders slump, as he turns forward, fingers trailing up to scratch at the back of his neck.
all you can think is that he’s getting ready to leave. that nothing will change, at this rate, that spring will wash winter away. that geto should be more direct with his advice, and that if it’s not the music itself that gojo is interested in knowing more about, then surely —
” — i don’t listen to anything.”
gojo stills. the words have flown past your lips before you can reach out and grasp them, slicing through the open air.
he spins around, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose at the sudden motion, exposing his widened eyes. those white lashes, fluttering softly, like a pair of doves eager to get above ground. you grip onto the insides of your pockets, warm and cozy against your freezing hands — it grounds you, keeps you tethered down to earth, down to him.
”music,” you continue, sputtering slightly, as if your lungs don’t quite know how to work under pressure. winter air seeps into your windpipe, cuts the skin there. ”i don’t listen to music.”
you lift your hands, fingers curling around the soft earmuffs wrapped around your neck, hesitantly meeting gojo’s gaze — an overlapping sequence, blanketing his view. then you’re gazing down.
”it’s just… comforting,” you try to explain, speaking softly. ”to wear them. white noise.. tires me out, so…”
the sentence trails off, unfinished. you feel silly. silly for saying anything at all, for building it up so much. silly for being the way that you are.
but when you look up at gojo, he’s brightened like a star.
white teeth, pink gums, that breathtakingly boyish grin. his blue eyes gleam with colour, almost spilling over the corners, like watercolour paint on a too-small canvas. he tilts his head, looking at you carefully, as if truly seeing you for the first time; absently swaying side to side.
if he had a tail, you’re sure it’d be wagging.
”i see!”
a silent breath spills into the air. your lips part, but no sound comes out, only vapour; heart pumping blood through your writhing veins, warming you up from the inside, a co-conspirator to the heat blooming in your cheeks. gojo continues to speak.
”i guess that counts,” he nods, crossing his arms with a satisfied hum. ”alright. i’ll get you any snacks you want! you can be greedy, it’s okay.”
a murmur of thanks escapes you, although you’d like to tell him there’s no need. something tells you denying him this would be like taking another step backwards, in this budding connection between you.
(… if you can even call it that.)
geto and ieiri catch up to your unmoving figures, finally, and only then does gojo spin on his heel and pick up his previous pace. calling back to you over his shoulder, a smile you can’t see but still hear.
”just don’t give any of it to those two, yeah?”
”cheapskate,” ieiri calls back, lone cigarette hanging between her lips. geto lets out something like a chuckle, his shoulder brushing up against yours.
you watch gojo’s back as he moves forward. unbothered, untethered. you think of him a snowflake in the breeze.
spring is almost here, now. it’s a bittersweet feeling, to know your conversations during recess will surely dwindle out — but at least you’ll have had this. one normal conversation, the knowledge that he was curious about you, even if you may just be the classmate by the heater in his eyes.
you’re too cold to keep him warm all on your own, so there’s no helping it. you’re willing to accept that some stars only show from the surface during winter.
you’re willing to accept this. it aches, a little, but you’ll be okay.
”i’ll take it things went well, then?”
geto is wearing his signature smile, when you look up at him. an expression of carefully concealed composure, lips curled up, but a knowing look in his eyes — something that borders on teasing.
you give him a nod, a bow of your head, to silently convey your appreciation. chameleon or not, you don’t really mind his ways. it’s hard to fake the warmth in his voice, when he speaks.
”i’m glad.”
the two of you watch gojo’s back, like birds gazing out at a body of water. silence lingers.
”won’t that moron get cold?”
ieiri’s voice cuts through the mold of your mind, low and gravelly, right beside you. she’s pointing towards gojo — the flimsy jacket he’s wearing.
you’re wondering the same thing.
geto casts her a glance over your head, before gazing down at you, seemingly noticing your curiosity. he lets out a low hum; reaching a hand out to brush away the snowflakes on his shoulders.
”temperature,” he begins, slipping his hands into his pockets; that familiar coaching tone to his voice, purposefully slow. ”is just a measure of atoms in rapid motion.”
you tilt your head, in tandem with ieiri — looking to your classmate for further elaboration. he seems to enjoy your confusion, lips curling up just a bit. gojo calls out to you, in the distance, waving both his hands, and geto returns it with a wave of his own.
an amber eye flicks towards you, an explanation on his tongue. ”his infinity can regulate that motion.”
… another tilt of your head.
geto lets out an amused breath. it scatters out into the air, a cloud of smoke, almost a chuckle.
”basically…” he sighs. ”he does just fine, in the cold. don’t worry about it. he’ll keep himself warm.”
ieiri mutters something, beneath her breath, something like you could have just said no, but you don’t really hear it. you think your heart must have climbed up, somehow; got caught in your windpipe.
ah.
gojo can keep himself warm.
the thought spins inside your mind, over and over, a realization that makes your inner palms feel clammy. stupid, silly, this pitter-patter of your heartbeat. but what else could it mean? if the cold doesn’t bother him, if he doesn’t run cold, then…
(he wouldn’t need it. he wouldn’t need it here, wouldn’t need it during recess, within the chilly walls of your classroom. he wouldn’t need it to stay warm.
gojo isn’t after your heater. if that’s true, then…)
…
you bury your nose in the soft wool of your scarf. breathing in the fading scent, vanilla and cinnamon, grounding you to earth, lingering in your nostrils. distracting you from the rush of warmth, that blooms in the frostbitten apples of your cheeks.
as if sensing your thoughts, or maybe just noticing your embarrassed expression, geto laughs — soft and breathy, shoulders shaking to your left. you hear it, only nuzzling deeper into the comfort of your scarf. feeling your heartbeat spin out of orbit.
in the distance, gojo continues to wave, yelling out something unintelligible. you could mistake him for a star.
spring is almost here, now. in just a month or so, it’ll be at your doorstep — waltzing right in.
(but you aren’t worried.)
#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#gojo fluff#jjk fluff
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productivity apps for self improvement
pinterest
you know i had to include the ultimate form of social media. pinterest is one of the only truly peaceful social media apps out there and focuses on sharing photos to your themed boards. this app is everything if you’re into making vision boards, moodboards, beauty, productivity, and really anything else. there’s something there for everyone!
finch
this is a wonderful self-care app, in which you take care of a bird while taking care of yourself! this is my new favorite app. i use the free version and it is adorable. the app asks you some questions about your goals and how you feel about self care, and gives you some daily goals based on your answers, but you can delete and add goals of your own. the more you log in and track your goals, the more adventures your bird can go on and the more they grow. i recommend this app to absolutely everyone and i will never shut up about it.
gymshark training
this is a free training app including many different types and styles of workouts. you can search for workouts based on duration, equipment used, the targeted muscle, and so on. you can also add workouts and plans of your own and track your progress.
i am sober
this is my favorite app for if you have something you want to quit. this isn’t just for substances or alcohol, but can also be used for quitting sugar, skin picking, caffeine, fast food, and so many other things. you can track your progress, review your days, make pledges, and connect with others who are struggling with the same thing you are. you are also given motivational quotes and reminders when you log into the app. there is an option for a subscription, but i use the free version and have had no problems with it at all.
study bunny: focus timer
an adorable focus timer where you gain coins with every goal/time you accomplish something with your focus timer and you can spend your coins on cute little accessories for your bunny! the only real issue with this app is that the ads are kind of crazy, and it’s $15 a month to go ad-free.
flora - green focus
this app includes a pomodoro timer and plants a tree in a rural community based on how often you stay focused using the timer on the app. the app does not plant a tree unless you opt for their subscription, which is $2 per year and allows you to plant one tree for 120 hours of focused time. you can also plant a tree every 24 hours with the $10 plan.
focus to-do: focus timer&tasks
this app combines a pomodoro timer with a daily to-do list. the app is free to use, but includes additional features for those with a subscription, which is $3 for every three months or $9 for a lifetime membership.
balance: meditation & sleep
a great app that includes nightly reviews, meditations, and sleep sounds. this app has great reviews, but it’s worth noting that it’s not completely free. it includes a trial, after which is $12 per month, or $70 per year.
insight timer - meditate & sleep
just as it sounds, this is another great app for meditations, ambient sounds for sleep, and progress tracking. there are tons of free things included in the app, but if you want to unlock everything, the premium plan is $10 per month or $60 per year.
structured - daily planner
an app with great reviews intended to help organize your daily tasks into achievable goals and track your progress. the app has basic features for free, but also includes a premium subscription if you want to unlock all the features.
routineflow: guided routines
this app caters to those who have difficulties staying focused and maintaining a set routine by guiding your routine for you and managing your progress. the app gives you one routine for free, but if you want another, you would need to pay for the $30 annual subscription.
how we feel
a wonderful free journaling app developed by therapists and scientists for logging your emotions, talking to other users, and tracking your mood patterns.
gentler streak fitness tracker
if you’re tired of the constant work and grind mentality, this may be the app for you. this app takes a gentler approach to fitness by tracking exercise, giving encouragement, and notifying you if you are overworking yourself. the app itself is free, but certain features require a subscription, which is $8 per month or $50 per year.
glo | yoga and meditation app
glo is a highly rated app for yoga, pilates, and meditation. unlike most of the other apps listed, you can’t really access much on glo for free. to access the full courses, they offer two plans: $30 per month or $245 per year.
waterllama
another adorable app that lets you track your water intake with a cute llama! super motivating and is free for basic features. if you want to unlock all features, the subscription is $7 per year.
mindllama
made by the same people as waterllama, this app allows you to practice and track your meditation and breathwork practice with a cute llama! like waterllama, the app is free, but some features require a subscription, which varies depending on whether you want the premium plan, the anxiety relief plan, or the sleep focused plan.
daily bean - simplest journal
another super cute app that helps you track your days and moods. the app itself is free, but a premium plan is also offered, which is $20 per year.
schmoody: mood & habit tracker
this app aims to help you through depression, anxiety, and/or adhd by helping you track your habits, talk to other users, and give you the resources to get you back on track. the free version includes the “essentials” to support mental health and well-being, but they also offer a premium version, which unlocks more resources and personalized options. the subscription is $15 per month, $60 per year, or $100 for a lifetime membership.
meditation timer - zenitizer
this is a meditation timer that focuses on simplicity and organization while tracking your meditation practice. a free version is available with a limited amount of content, but a premium version is also offered, which is $3 per month, $20 per year, or a $50 one-time payment.
mineral - gratitude journal
this is a free journaling app that is secure in the fact that you have to use face id in order to access your journal. this app is definitely more simple, but effective nonetheless.
focus keeper: productive timer
this app is a popular pomodoro-style timer app. i’ve heard that this app works wonders for many people with adhd. the app is free, but includes additional content and features for those with a subscription.
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Are banks operational in Gaza? And how do we deal with cash flow?
The targeting of the occupation against the banking and financial systems in the Gaza Strip, the destruction of dozens of exchange offices and ATMs, the prohibition of financial transfers to Gazans, and the absence of regulatory oversight from the relevant authorities have led to chaos and the dominance of banks and exchange offices, resulting in an increase in the financial discount as commissions on the amounts that Palestinians there seek to obtain in cash.
So as not to get away from the main topic of this post, let's focus on answering these two questions directly.
Yes and no.
How is that, Mahmoud? Explain.
Yes, all banks in Gaza have shut down their headquarters since the war broke out, and it's not possible to contact their employees to complete certain transactions.
But banks operate digitally through some official apps, mainly Bank of Palestine since its headquarters is in Ramallah and not Gaza, so it operates normally.
So you're saying the banks are closed does that mean ATMs are, too? How do you withdraw your money?
Through traders in Gaza.
How does that work?
Let's say Mahmoud needs to withdraw 100 dollars in cash. He goes to one of the known traders in Gaza and says "I need 100 dollars in cash, how much is commission?"
How much is commission?
Commission differs from one trader to another. It comes down to their personal desire. For example on the day of writing this post, dated 4/12/2024, commission for cash withdrawal has reached 30% of the amount withdrawn.
In other words, if I had 100 dollars in my bank account, I need to pay 30 dollars to the trader, and receive 70 dollars in cash. So, the price of converting bank credit to cash is 30% of that amount.
Meaning if I had 1000 dollars, I receive 700 dollars instead. Imagine that level of injustice, despair, and despotism.
When you receive money from outside of Palestine, the trader also keeps 30%.
But there's nothing we can do. We have no choice but to accept these terms, just to be able to eat and drink and go on with our daily needs.
On the other hand, prices of goods are astronomical. I am not exaggerating when I say that if a person in Gaza has unlimited money it still wouldn't be enough.
The smallest of families need 100 dollars a day just to get by with the bare minimum.
Help us to provide food for today and feed our children in the midst of this famine.
Only $350 left to reach the short-term goal of $22,000
@appsa @tsaricides @schoolhater @buttercuparry @feluka
@el-shab-hussein @wherethatoldtraingoes2 @nabulsi @sayruq @sar-soor
@tiredguyswag @gothhabiba @slydiddledeedee @kingskrazzyart @a-shade-of-blue
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On your blog you've talked about dealing with chronic as a result from the stress of masking your autism.
It's a bit of a different situation, but my little sister (who we've begun to suspect has adhd) has been experiencing chronic pain in her arms and legs. I may be totally off base, but I was wondering if a similar stess might potentially be a factor in her pain.
If you're willing, would you mind talking about how your pain affected before you found a way to manage it (I tried searching your tumblr, but not much came up, so sorry if I'm asking a question that's already been answered)?
Thanks either way, I love your books. Love is real!
sure buckaroo GOOD QUESTION. i have had chronic pain in some form or another for LONG TIME in a number of STRESS RELATED WAYS. in past it has been cracking teeth from clenching dang jaws while i sleep and things like that, but a few years ago it was FULL ON BODY PAIN AND TIGHTNESS like every muscle was clenching up. went to the doctor over and over all kinds of dang specialists and it was very difficult to figure out what was going on. eventually landed on a sort of nebulous trot of STRESS but i can get more specific.
there are several things about me that you would never know just from looking or even talking to me for long times. i am a bi buckaroo, i am a non-dysphoric trans buckaroo, i am an autistic buckaroo. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE THINGS IS EITHER HIDDEN AUTOMATICALLY OR I AM SUCH AN EXPERT AT HIDING THAT IT IS SECOND NATURE
autism presents its trot in many ways, so my words do not apply to all, but my version is EXTREME ORGANIZATION AND ENDLESS WORK ETHIC. in way of freud (which is a silly way but sometimes good for symbolism talk) i have what you would call an OVERDEVELOPED SUPER EGO which is a double edged sword. i can write 100s of books at an incredible pace, but also feel like my body is constantly collapsing in on itself
this is not really something i consciously think about much, but eventually these health problems started creeping up. it was all from carrying this mystery tension in my body, because while it feels EASY for me to mask i believe all that tension goes somewhere and it stores up and stores up and stores up.
so i think the HEALTHY way that i have found to deal with this (i think of it as releasing the steam valve a bit so the boiler does not break down) is ART. this space where i am allowed to be CHUCK TINGLE and write without obsessing over the spelling or punctuation, or to loudly express my queerness, or explore gender, and to let my neurotypical mask down DIRECTLY RELIEVES my chronic pain because it literally makes my muscles relax.
when i started out this ARTISTIC TROT as chuck i used a LOT of metaphor to keep my privacy, with different words or different versions of people for different things, and buckaroos found this very funny. as a way to express myself artistically i also liked this metaphor trot a lot, but i have also found that the LESS metaphor i paint over my life as chuck, the better it is for my health. if you have noticed, i talk less about some of the parts of my life that were metaphors, or maybe you have seen that my voice has relaxed a bit in interviews, or that i carry myself a little differently over time, this is partially why. (there is another artistic reason that was a planned trot from the beginning and it has to do with my feelings as a young autistic buckaroo of not fitting in on this timeline, but we can dive into that later).
anyway, as PRACTICAL ADVICE i would say that FINDING A SPACE TO EXPRESS YOURSELF WITHOUT FEAR OR MASKING has been the number one trot for me. that can be a pink bag over your head writing hundreds of erotic shorts, or that can be just laying on the ground howling your heart out, or doing whatever stim you need to do.
i will also say that ONCE I REALIZED IT WAS MUSCLE TENSION getting a physical therapist helped a lot. because there are two sides, you have to start releasing steam from the steam valve, but at the same time youve also gotta start HEALING THE DAMAGE. so i think stretching and techniques like that can be very helpful.
hope that helps buckaroo LOVE IS REAL
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