#[Comfortable Being Alone | Personal Para]

[dino--draws]

para!Place and para!Ilse Relationship Headcanons — because I am mentally ill. Also I slipped in a little short written character exchange too

Tbh I think para!Place got manhandled as hell when brought to Site-43. That man was in complete shambles, frightened and sobbing his little heart out. No one is listening to what he’s saying, he can barely hear them over the ringing in his ears. They can’t wrangle him down to get the eyedrops in and end up having to sedate him to avoid 001-A killing the man. This is a horrendous first impression 

Fun fact?? Ilse was only a Year out of the incinerator when the Paradox hits?? She’s not doing too hot.

So they see this frightened, alone man and Majorly see themselves in him. She’s projecting when they first start trying to reach out and connect with him. And he vaguely knows of her from parascientific journals and such, which is better than knowing Nothing (see: not knowing a damn soul in 43)

para!Place is touch adverse as all hell due to the previous shit and para!Ilse is a very touchy-feely person due to being touch starved and this does clash a little initially

They keep trying to physically comfort him or just in general put a hand on him and it makes him flinch a handful of times. He’s bad at communicating discomfort but they pick up eventually and start asking permission 

Place takes a while to warm up to Ilse, but they both end up mutually latching onto the other. He tends to tail her like a lost dog because Ilse knows the site better at first

Him getting injured by 001-A and Ilse helping in his recovery majorly grows his trust in them back when they were still warming up

They are both so mid socially. Ilse stands too close to people and talks a bit too loud, Place will stare at you with wide eyes in dead silence

After a while Ilse ends up as like the only person on site that Place lets touch him, because he knows they’d never hurt him. :))))

You will often find them passed out in one of the labs curled up against each other.

They could have some sort of queer platonic relationship going on. Its moderately co-dependent and theyre not sure what to define it as but they act close. Its just all platonic

Place tells Ilse about all the stuff pop culturally and more mundane that they missed while in the Incinerator. Oh and books. TV shows. Movies. Media themes and modern tropes. They are usually very baffled or confused but the two of them loooove to yap its enriching for em.

They have moderately incomprehensible parascience discussions. They do not always Agree parascientifically and sometimes butt heads, but they respect the others opinions

AND THEN EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT WHEN NGO DIES AND PHMD STARTS ISOLATING HIMSELF AND BREAKING UNDER THE PRESSURE ✨✨✨

He shuts out everything and everyone, gets some asinine shit thats been boiling under the surface in his mind this whole time and starts to crumble mentally.

It worries the Fuck outta Ilse, because they notice when he starts to deteriorate both physically and mentally but still can barely pry anything from him. They’re the one that prompts the “better story” line from him. 

They get Really strained 

When he abandons the timeline, when she realizes what he’s done and what he’s going to do, they are god damn furious.

Stealing this from Kiku, but Ilse basically jailbreaks her TAD jumpwatch and manages to jury rig it to follow him after some time passes. Taking the Cannon fucked everyone over, and they want fucking answers to what he’s doing.

She’s not going to like those answers.

Other tangential headcanons for these two

para!Place occasionally goes nonverbal. Sometimes stress related, sometimes he just Doesn’t feel like it. He’s gesture heavy or can use a text to speech to bridge gaps from time to time.

para!Ilse loves to draw. They’re mid at it at best and the drawings come out looking more like scientific diagrams, but they love to draw things that she sees in a little book. She looks back on the doodles she did of the outside world before the paradox with solemn nostalgia.

phmd has a damaged little rubiks cube but he struggles with it because half the colors are hard to see now with the red monochromacy 

Here actually have a little drabble because I am insane fun fact:

“How can you even solve that thing, with the monochromacy?” Ilse’s voice cuts through a silence that had previously only been broken by a quiet clicking. Placeholder jolts, and looks over at her. He’s sat on the lab’s floor, back against the wall, Rubik’s cube in his lap.

“Ah— well,” he rubs the bandages on his arm, winces, “truth be told, I can’t. The only colors that are still differential are these two—“ Place taps a darker square, and a pale one, “—blue and white, I think? I don’t remember well what they looked like.” The eyedrops make his vision blurry, anyhow. He can scarcely see, between them and the Paradox’s sensory effects. 

“So what’s the point?” There’s a shifting of fabric as Ilse plops down heavily next to him, adjusting her glasses on her nose. They’d long since popped out the lenses, but kept the frames for ‘nostalgia’. 

Place shrugs, “I like the sounds. I… I need to do something with my hands, HEAR something, or I fear I’ll go batty down here.”

“I can’t stand the silence either,” Ilse nods, she traces a circle on the tile with her finger, “the Incinerator was dead silent for all seventy-eight of those years, if I have to stand another second I may snap.” They give a harsh, bitter sort of laugh. Placeholder frowns,

“I… I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. If this shitfest is anyones fault, it’s Dougall’s, not yours — no matter what he tried to imply.” Ilse would almost rather this hell over their previous, if not for the fact this one affected more than just one person.

“…at least the Cannon works.” Placeholder sighs, “its given the others hope.”

“You say that as if it didn’t give you any,” Ilse arches her brow, “did you ever ask future you anything about what his situation was?”

Placeholder looks away. 

“Place?”

“I don’t remember. Our conversation fades more by the day. But I think he sounded… tired.”

“If YOU’RE saying someone sounded tired, it must’ve been bad.” Ilse frowns, they tentatively reach over to him — a silent ask of permission — and he nods. Ilse gently grasps his shoulder, tugs him closer and Place leans up against her, knees curling up to his chest. 

“And speaking of, you should rest, Place.“

He exhales softly, eyes drifting downwards.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

[drenix004]

𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘━━━ 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐀 𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐙𝐀

-> Teaser

❝𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲︙It was the candy she needed to cope with the life of danger and death she had willingly gotten herself into.❞

❛Her sweet, natural attitude reminded him of honey, and her peculiar amber eyes reaffirmed this❜

warnings: mention of alcohol, drugs, death, obsession, among others, if you are not comfortable, don't read it !

rating: 18+

pairings: Valeria Garza x female Oc

¡English is not my first language, so there may be mistakes, don’t hesitate to correct me.!

¡para las personas que hablan español, actualizo primero la historia en wattpad :)

Link de wattpad-> Honey

━━━━━━━━》❈《 ━━━━━━━

The happiest day of your life is supposed to be your wedding day. The decorations, the flowers, the dress, the guests, the music as you walk in; everything should be a beautiful memory.

But she hated it all.

The guests? They were strangers to her, and the few she knew only smiled falsely at her misfortune.

The dress? She found it hideous; the lace itched, and the fancy design with stones was repulsive to her. That kind of dress did not suit her.

The embellishments were ostentatious, seeking to grab attention, just like the smiling man standing before her.

She should feel joyful on this great day, but all she experienced was revulsion, disgust and hatred towards the person waiting for her at the altar.

She longed to escape, to run away from that damned church, to return to Mexico. However, the strong grip on her arm by her supposed father, together with a sharp object pressed against her side, confirmed that there would be no escape.

She was not advancing toward the altar of her own free will.

As she approached, she couldn't help but wonder if she would have been spared this whole nightmare if she had waited a few more minutes in the classroom without making a sound.

She would not have found out about the prostitution and drug ring operating within the medical specialty school, much less been forced to experiment on freshman students who were victims of said ring.

Had she not been selfish, she would have turned down the scholarship and stayed in Mexico, content to be a general practitioner only. She would have avoided all this.

She wouldn't have to forcibly marry that son of a bitch Jérémie to keep her quiet, but she wasn't stupid, she knew the Frenchman would kill her once they were alone to erase any trace of evidence.

-No, please,- he muttered when he was almost there.

He began to pray for something to happen, a miraculous chance to escape, anything.

-It doesn't matter what it is, but let it stop. Have mercy on me, Lord,- she continued, looking at the crucifix further back from the altar. She was desperate, mentally praying for compassion to show itself.

She turned pale when she reached the altar and was greeted by Jérémie with his fake smile.

-Why so nervous, darling? -He teased, -This is the happiest day of your life, smile.

No, someone has to stop all this, no matter who it is.

The ceremony continued, her pleas seemed to have been ignored. She was on the verge of tears, and when they stopped to give her vows, she felt life slipping away.

Just as they were about to put the ring on, gunshots and screams were heard from outside.

The guests panicked, creating chaos that was accompanied by gunshots coming closer and closer to where they were.

He turned his head towards the crucifix and, with a glimmer of hope, spoke.

-Thank you,- he thanked her for the opportunity he was being given.

She quickly removed her veil and heels. She would take advantage of the chaos to escape. When she tried to run, she was grabbed by the hair forcefully, eliciting a groan of pain.

-Oh no, you won't,- the Frenchman punched her in the cheek, knocking her to the ground.

No one was aware of what was happening; they were more focused on fleeing or hiding as men dressed in black and armed burst in violently, confronting the guards.

When Jérémie crouched down to her full height, she spat blood in his face before kicking him and starting to crawl away from him, the dress getting in the way, the tail weighing her down and making it harder for her to stand on her own.

When she finally got the balance to stand up, her dress was pulled hard, making her fall again.

The Frenchman had no intention of letting her escape; if he couldn't kill her on the honeymoon, he would do it now.

-Bastard,-he shouted loudly. She began clawing at the Frenchman's arms in a desperate attempt to free herself as she kicked, but to no avail.

His vision began to blur due to lack of oxygen.

Another shot rang out, followed by Jérémie's screams of pain and curses.

The white dress was stained scarlet.

She coughed as she struggled to breathe. Her throat burned from the pain, but at least oxygen was getting to her lungs.

-You're dead, cabrón.

Even in a daze, she could recognize the voice. She looked to the side in astonishment: a woman with short black hair was making her way through the armed men, who were respectfully moving aside. The woman was not looking at her; her eyes were fixed on the man who had tried to kill her. Her dark eyes promised that this was only the beginning of the tragedy.

-Valeria?

Chapters: teaser, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...

[veinsfullofstars]

Precious babies - I’m sure nothing bad will ever happen to them.

(ID: Reference sheet for my Kirby OCs, Para Dee and Bow Dee. Visually, Para is a young Waddle Dee with light orange fur, a pale beige face, peach cheek blush, brown eyes, and yellow feet. He wears large round glasses taped on the sides of his head and a green-and-brown plaid bowtie, and there is a little curl of fur swooping up from his forehead. Bow is a smaller Waddle Dee with red-orange fur, a beige face, pink cheek blush, big black eyebrows, brown eyes with a hint of sea-foam blue on the bottom, and gold-yellow feet. She wears a large navy-blue bow on the back of her head, the ribbon rimmed in pale-blue and wrapped around her head in the style of Kirby’s Fighter headband. Additional information below the cut. END ID.)

Just their kid versions at the moment, but there might be teen and adult refs for them in the future depending on how much story stuff I get around to showcasing. I got a couple other story-pertinent characters in mind as well, but they’re still deep in concept stages, so no refs for them just yet, haha. Also, if you guys want refs for young Dedede and Meta, lemme know.

Sketch started some time in 11/23, render started 12/13/23, finished 12/20/23, updated 03/11/24, updated for color correction 11/02/24. NOTE: This was originally posted on my deleted account on 01/08/24. | Childhood Friends AU Masterpost

(OC info updated as of 08/28/24)

—

Some facts about Para Dee:

-His name is just a shortened version of “Parasol Waddle Dee” - in addition to reflecting his Copy Ability, he has yet to find another name that he feels fits him better, so he keeps it as a nickname for much of his childhood and beyond (a common practice among Waddle Dees).

-He is around DDD and Meta’s age, and a little older than Bow.

-He is the middle child in a pretty big family. While he cares for them all very dearly, being crammed in a veritable mosh pit of siblings gets to be a bit much for him sometimes. He hangs out with DDD and co. partially to get away for a while, partially because he was probably going to get roped in with them anyway.

-He shares a deep love of books and learning with Meta, though his interests lean more towards math, science, and mechanical engineering, with space being perhaps his biggest hyperfixation. Seriously, this lad can go on about nebulae and starships and quantum mechanics for hours if you let him.

-Para has an unfortunate habit of “Um, actually”-ing people about topics he knows (or thinks he knows) well, annoying his friends at best and making him an easy target for local bullies at worse…

-Unlike his friends, Para is not a very active or adventurous soul. He is easily startled, chronically un-athletic, and unlikely to harm a fly let alone another person. He much prefers quieter activities like reading and stargazing, especially from the comfort of his own home. The only physical activity he seems to enjoy is rollerskating, though all he does is leisurely roll around the park while watching the others fail at doing cool tricks.

-Though reluctant about most things, Para is especially afraid of heights. Even being slightly up off the ground has him scrambling to cling to the nearest solid object (usually DDD, who has probably picked him up, possibly with the intent to throw).

-While his friends go on about their lofty goals of being kings and knights, Para’s ambitions are relatively lax. He’d like to go to university off-world to study rocket science when he’s older, maybe even learn to build them one day, but that’s about as big as his dreams get, and even those could be narrowed down further to just seeing a real interstellar starship in person. Sometimes, he imagines flying through space on one, seeing all those stars he loves so much up close and personal, even if the idea of being up that high makes his little heart stutter in his chest…

—

Some facts about Bow Dee:

-She is named, unsurprisingly, for the bow on her head, which she has been wearing since she was a baby and practically refuses to remove without a lot of coaxing (stars help anyone who tries to take it off by force). She keeps both the name and the bow for much of her childhood, though she might not keep them (or her pronouns) forever…

-She is the baby of the group (a couple years younger than DDD, Meta, and Para).

-She comes from a relatively small family, taken care of by her two (extremely cool) moms and an older brother who is often away at school or out with his friends (usually to get away from his "obnoxious baby sister"). As a result, she is on her own more than she cares to be - hence why she follows DDD and his friends around like an overeager puppy all the time.

-She thinks Meta is the coolest person ever from the moment she meets him. She hovers around him constantly whenever the gang is together (to his slight annoyance), sometimes even mimicking his poses and gestures without meaning to (usually while Meta is mimicking DDD the same way).

-Bow was born with a Copy Ability atypical for Waddle Dees, that being Water. At this point in her life, the most she can do is manifest bubbles at will and maybe manipulate small puddles if she focuses hard enough. Sometimes, in moments of high stress, she can summon powerful jets of water from nearby rivers, lakes, or even pipes beneath the ground (something that has definitely gotten her into trouble more than once). She will get the hang of her powers with enough time and practice, especially as her interests in oceans, sea life, and sailing grow over time…

-Bow finds it hard to sit still and loses focus easily if she’s not already invested in something (much to her teachers’ frustration). But when she is invested in a task, she will go all in on it until either her energy runs out or something else grabs her attention.

-Bow loves sports and most outdoor activities, constantly bouncing between favorites (though she probably enjoys swimming and surfing the most) and getting super competitive when teams are involved (much to DDD and Meta’s delight, and Para’s dismay).

-On that note, she is the only one of the four who has ever successfully landed a kickflip without getting hurt (at least after the first time).

-Bow - who often forgets that she is the smallest person in the room - will challenge anything to a fight if it makes her angry enough. Literally, she will look a feral Gigant Edge directly in the helmet and put up her little fists like she has any chance at winning. The only exception to this is bugs - she will perish before letting a bug anywhere near here (something DDD never lets her live down).

-If she had a mouth, she would bite.

[sophieinwonderland]

if you had to guess, what percentage of do you think may be of a plural mind, regardless of if it’s a trait they identify with or not?

Ooh! This is a tough one.

It's going to come down a lot to how we defined plurality.

First, are we talking about people who currently are experiencing plurality or all the people who have ever experienced plurality?

I've talked a lot about how there are many imaginary friends who are experienced as acting outside of the child's conscious control.

One study showed about 65% of children have imaginary friends. Another showed 35% didn't always do what the children wanted while 29% were what was deemed as "noncompliant."

 Thirty-six per cent of the children described their imaginary companions as consistently compliant and agreeable, 35 per cent gave some indication that the imaginary companions did not always do or say what the children wanted, although they were mostly friendly and compliant, and 29 per cent described their imaginary companions as noncompliant in ways that suggested the children experienced the companion to some extent as being out of their conscious control. 

If we assume every imaginary friend who can act outside of the host's control is a headmate, the percentage of children who are plural during childhood would be a whopping 41.6%

But the numbers could be even higher. That only covers two manifestations of plurality. (Imposition and Inhabitation.) And it's probably ignoring spiritual experiences.

If a child has different distinct personality states they switch between, that's not accounted for in that statistic. Nor would praying to God be even if the child hears God regularly talks back in two-way conversation. And it's unlikely a voice in their head would be counted as an imaginary friend unless that voice had a form of some kind. So this number could actually be much higher.

But I feel comfortable saying at least 41.6% of kids are naturally plural.

What about adulthood? Well, things get complicated.

Purely on the disorder side, DID alone makes up about 1-3% of the population. OSDD and Partial DID make up even more. And personally, I consider certain experiences many psychiatrists would currently classify as hallucinations or delusions to be dissociative as well. (A delusion of being someone else could be a form of switching, some hallucinations demonstrate intelligence, etc.) Then there are many with MADD who report sentient Paras.

On a more spiritual side, Tanya Luhrmann, who is running the Stanford Tulpa Study, wrote a piece comparing people who build two-way communication with God to tulpamancers.

If we take the view that these are the same mechanisms at play, that could add a lot to the plural spectrum.

But finding accurate statistics for this phenomenon that we could apply to the whole population is hard. And it's unlikely everyone or even most people who say God talks to them is meaning with a literal mindvoice, and that this is happening consistently enough to consider this God of theirs a headmate.

Going back to the imaginary friends, only about 7% of adults report having imaginary friends.

While we might take the numbers from the children and apply it to the adult group, to say only about 64% of that 7% would be autonomous, I would actually speculate the number being much higher.

A lot of those imaginary friends will have been with the hosts since childhood. And I think it's likely most would gain autonomy and self-consciousness in that time. I would say most adult imaginary friend will be sentient enough to be considered tulpas.

All in all, my conservative guestimation for adult plurality is 10%-20%.

(This estimation might sound low after everything I've said, but consider that different forms of plurality tend to overlap. A lot of systems with DID may have imaginary friends who they don't consider alters, many spiritual systems are mixed origin, many self-diagnosed with delusional companion syndrome here on Tumblr also happen to be systems of some kind, some tulpamancers later discover they were already traumagenic systems, etc.)

Finally, if you were to ask me the percentage of the population with the potential to be plural, I would guess that at near 100%.

[tacagen]

¿Por qué Eobard escogió a Barry Allen?, ¿Por qué no ha a Wally o a Jay?, o a otros superheroes, como Superman, Wonder Woman o incluso Batman?. ¿Por qué exactamente él?, ¿Qué lo hizo especial, único y diferente como para tener toda y la absoluta atención de Eobard?

okay i am most likely out of my competency here bc i have no idea about anyone other than barry (and that's through lenses of issues with thawne) and maybe batman but my guesses: 1. thawne's origin place, central city and accessibility of the flash museum. 2. thawne's undeniable taste because speedsters are literal gods and the slayest superheroes with the slayest powers. 3. barry being a scientist, because thawne needed someone to relate to, and even if that would half-consist of his own projections they still needed a base. 4. barry's sweet cinnamon roll personality with all the unique individual traits (i cannot describe it on spot but tell me you also feel that his kindness is different from superman and ww's, let alone batman's. as to wally and jay, i shall not speak of them because i have no idea of jay's personality and i am biased against wally and his treatment of villain speedsters) because thawne needed comfort in his life.

also, fun fact! according to rs thawne studied all flashes, if i remember correctly this is confirmed to be wally and later he recreates the picture while posing as The Flash Of 25th Century. he wasnt just obsessed with barry but with the flash as an idea and obviously with the speed force as well. but did that interest come from his love for barry or independently as an obsession complex from the very beginning, (like if he knew about the concept of flash in his childhood first and only then about different people who wore the suit)? open for discussion as even thawne probably cant tell at this point, his timeline and obsession are both a complicated blurry mess.

[nicolesainz]

Romance is not dead, if you keep it just yours (CS55)

Requested by : anonymous

Request + Summary : hii! can i request reader x carlos fluff where reader get nervous before go public with their relationship, so carlos comfort her and you both decide to make the relationship ig official before out in public together

Carlos Sainz x reader

Warnings: fluffier than your pillow

The Spanish Grand Prix has officially arrived once again! Your and Carlos’s home race. Instead of hoping on a plane, you enjoy the comfort of your house and embrace of each other.

Carlos and Fernando always get a standing ovation having been crowned as Spain’s golden boys. A two times world champion and a multi podium winner!

Your eyes sparkle as you see every fan from all of the teams that Carlos has represented, wearing his number on them. Red Bull fans, Renault and current Alpine fans, McLaren fans and most importantly, Ferrari fans. Everybody loves him.

You and Carlos have been together for almost 5 years now. Followed him at every race, supported him through thick and thin. A lot of speculations had been going on around your relationship, as you had been spotted around the paddock, but without a man hanging around your arm.

A few months ago, back at the beginning of the season, in Bahrain, after the second place Carlos gifted to his team, he decided to give your relationship a bigger gift. The gift of eternity.

He proposed to you, under the lights of Bahrain, with the track completely empty, but with a big heart shaped on it and the banner writing on it,

“Te tuve en mi pasado, pero quiero que sigas siendo mía para siempre. ¿Quieres casarte conmigo?” (I had you in my past, but I want you as my forever. Will you marry me?)

You had never felt more alive since this moment. A life with Carlos was all you’ve ever wanted and now that it was about to become a reality, he wanted to tell the world that you were his and he was yours.

The thought of being publicly known as Carlos Sainz’s wife scared you. Not in the sense of being related to him. But in the sense of that you’d both get hate on. And you didn’t want anyone to hurt Carlos.

But nothing stopped Carlos from wanting to show you off to the world. To scream that he was more than happy to have you with him.

You were currently sitting with his sister Ana, bitting your nails, with your finger hovering over the “post” button on your Instagram page. This idea terrified you.

“Y/N, if you don’t feel ready yet, just tell Carlos. He will definitely understand” she took your hand into her and smiled kindly at you.

“No, I do. I want to make Carlos happy. I just-i don’t like the spotlight. I see what the other wives and girlfriends have to face and it can be a bit pressuring”

“I do underestimated. He’s a very famous driver and publicity, whether we like it or not, sadly comes partnered with negativity. But it’s more than normal if you don’t feel ready yet”

“Hello ladies, what are you two talking about?” Carlos showed up in the kitchen, glancing at his sister and fiancé, whose hand was shaking extremely much

“Cariño what’s wrong? Who hurt you? Why are you shaking?” He dropped everything to the sink and run towards you

“I will leave you two alone. Just please tell her that everything will be alright Carlos. I don’t want her to suffer more” Ana said before hugging you and leaving the room.

“I hate this! I don’t know why I’m such a coward!” You exclaim while a few tears run down yours cheeks

“First of all, don’t even call yourself a coward again! You’re the strongest person I know. And secondly, what is going on?” your boyfriend kissed you softly, trying to calm you down as much as he can

“It’s been five years, why am I scared to be publicly announced as your fiancé? I just don’t want to hurt you Carlos. Something holds me back”

“Baby, you don’t have to write a poem or a paragraph about how much you love me or contact my publicist. If you’re not ready yet, then we won’t. As long as I know you’re mine, that’s what comforts me” your fiancé says wrapping his arms around you. His hugs were always the best part of the day!

“I don’t deserve you. I’m so thankful to have you Carlos, you can’t even imagine” you cup his face as your foreheads connect with each others

“I should be the one saying how glad I am to have you! You’ve been my biggest supporter and fan since day one. You deserve the world Y/N”

A few hours later, the Grand Prix is currently in action with Max leading the race and Carlos currently being second and Charles close behind in third. Everything was being held by a thread.

There were only two laps to go and Carlos was trying to close the gap between him and Verstappen. He was pushing and pushing to the limit until he almost touched the back of the Red Bull.

When Carlos saw the opportunity he slipped right in there next to him and swooped into the lead, earning a massive wave of applause from every fan sitting in the grandstand.

Your screams and laughs were echoing all over the Ferrari garage, knowing that this win is more than guaranteed. Finally, Carlos would win his home race. Become the new home hero! You can’t contain your happiness and knowing that his radio is being publicly head, she almost yelled at the team radio,

“You just made me the proudest fiancé alive. That’s my Carlos! I love you” and there wasn’t a slight regret in your words nor actions.

“Eres dueña de mi corazón y me alegra que sea tuyo para siempre” (You own my heart and I’m glad it’s yours forever ) he replied with the highest pitch in his voice you’ve ever heard him talk with.

“I knew that it was more than right to fall in love with you. Whoever did in the past and decided to let you go, I’m glad they did, because you wouldn’t have ended up in my arms. And I am here to make sure that you are the happiest woman alive”

“God knew what he was doing when my heart started first fluttering for you. I knew it wasn’t going to be a feeling that would leave soon. And I’m eternally grateful it didn’t. Because it would have been the biggest mistake of my life not to be with you”

[vilisisms]

˚☽˚.⋆ ― riley shaw / post event self-para

Every second since she opened her eyes in the oea headquarters she hadn't been left alone. It wasn't a mystery to her as to why. Her friends and family had lost her, seen her displayed like a pig after slaughter. That does damage. The kind that was hard to repair, only time and a good therapist could stitch back up. That didn't change the fact that riley was not a people person, she wasn't clingy and she hated when people hovered. The hybrid knew it was all out of love, concern, worry, and though they might not being saying it to her, she could smell the guilt. Riley only blamed the oea, the people responsible only got a taste of what they have coming to them, especially now that she had completed her transition.

It was hard to think about anything though, with everyone suffocating her. She was trying to best to be there for them, despite being the one to have gone through the trauma of being tortured and killed and then waking up in transition, she felt she had to keep a facade up for them. So they knew she was ok, to do her own twisted version of comforting them with dark humor and sarcastic comments. The truth was, every time someone looked at her she could feel every ounce of her body flood with emotions begging to overflow and pour all over them. As a werewolf, she was used to the heightened emotions and had damn near perfected repressing them. Now it was harder, where as before they grew like a flame, but now it felt like a bomb igniting within her. It was getting more difficult to keep the explosion behind her brick walls, they were growing weak with every attempted smile, every failed attempt from her sister to not cry, every time oliver couldn't even look her in the eyes (not that she wanted him to, they have since turned into a glass window)...

Riley knew she had to get away. Away from it all. There were moments where things felt normal again but she couldn't even be around her friends without being excessively aware of the sound of their blood pumping through their veins. The thirst was the worst part, it consumed her. A blood bag does the trick but not when she was constantly surrounded by the real deal. Hurting her own family friends was the last thing she wanted but it was getting harder to pretend like she had it all under control. Not when the truth was that she had never felt more out of control in her own body.

The decision to leave was easy. All it took was one look in rykers eyes, her beautiful hues told a story and she didn't like the ending. every time she looked at the girl that had her heart in the palm of her hands, she knew she was now being unfair to her. she was a hybrid now. her family friends may have watched her displayed by the oea but at least they didn't know they were going to see that. riley knew she was going to have to watch the people around her grow old and die while she remained. she knew she would watch ryker do the same and the thought of holding ryker back from the life, no, from the love that she deserved to have, it was paralyzing.

the blonde left a note on her bed explaining she was going to be gone for a while to work things through, needing the space and the wide open road to clear her mind, to adjust, to say all the things her fucked up head struggled to say out loud. asphalt, gravel, and the speed of her bike have always been able to comfort her, speak to her in, help her in ways people never could.

'who am i?' she asked the sunset one night, and the silence that she got back was deafening.

she didn't know who she was anymore, what life would look like for her anymore. was she even pack anymore? she knew she would always have parker as her pack now, and that brought a little comfort but after a week of the road, she still had no answers. the only silver lining to the trip was she learned how to snatch, snack, erase. she had met some pretty awesome people at dive bars along the way, but they only helped her temporarily forget her situation and then she was back on the road.

"shit, brace for impact, riles" she whispered to herself as she passed the mile marker heading back into town. she thought the roadtrip had worked, or at least slightly fixed her but everything that she had ran away from came rushing back. with the open road, the moon overhead, and the wind all around her the hybrid let it all out. a scream ripped through her, joining the night. she hadn't screamed like this since the night of the gala. a part of riley wanted to stay away, like it would be easier to go ahead and cut the ties to avoid the slow burn that her immortality would bring but she never could stay away from new orleans for too long, no matter how many times she swore she'd never come back. she knew there were people there that needed her, as fucked up as that was, she couldn't leave them.

just, not yet. she had to do what she could to make the oea pay for what they've done first, and she was determined to do whatever it took to make that happen. then.... maybe then she would rip the bandaid off.

[aimee-if-tulpa]

Hi, we're a plural system with partially paragenic origins. We've had MaDD/Immersive Daydreaming our entire lives. MaDD/ID has definitely had a huge impact on our plurality and the formation of some of our headmates.

We're not sure if there's a huge community of paragenic systems online, but we have definitely seen a few. You all are welcome to use whatever terms you're all comfortable with, but we figured we'd share some of the paragenic terminology we've discovered on our journey to help your search.

Related to Daydreaming:

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Category:Daydreaming-Related_Terms

We'd recommend looking up specifically

Prevera, Paragenic, Parative, veritbond, Araisagenic Systems

Related to Imaginary friends:

imaginagenic, imagitive

It's unfortunate and frustrating that the term 'para' means more than just a character from a Paracosm, especially on Tumblr, but perhaps these additional terms could help with connecting to the right group.

Ignore the haters. Your system is valid and real. There's a lot of support out there, you're not alone.

-the Dream-Spared System

Thank you so much for your kindness and sharing your research. I will take a look at it. We also have another blog specifically for the paragenic side of my person’s system. It is @auraindigos-paraspace . Give that one a follow as well. I have really came into my own recently, at least in the past month. She has accepted me back as best as she could. It can still be hard since she is an adult in her 30s and imaginary friends are unfortunately not as accepted when one is an adult even if I did not come into being until she was around 18-19 years old. Anyways, I do feel like I am an imaginary friend tulpa even though the mean people and haters can be discouraging many times.

[rebornnebulasystem]

THE RNS DNI LIST

Last updated 31/10/24 (dd/mm/yy)

General DNI

- Radical Pro/Anti endos that push their beliefs onto us, you have your opinion, and thats fine, but dont like- push those ideals onto us, otherwise youre going to our blocklist

- Anyone interacting with us that is under 15 or over 21, This is for our own personal comfort, and exceptions apply to our current friends, moderating purposes, or if we interact first, which we likely will

- Anyone, and I mean ANYONE who is pro harassment, you are an asshole if you think that harassment is ok

- Adding on from the previous, Endo Harassers, Just because a system didnt “form” or “fully form” from trauma doesnt make them magically immune from it, just tell them to leave you alone and go on with your day

- Paras / Para Supporters, even if you are Anti Contact, most Paras will be triggering to us so please don’t interact if you are ok with these things

- Israel / IDF Supporters, I dont have to say anything

- Blatant Misinfo spreaders, this involves anything, and yes, I wont skimp out on either sides of syscourse if youre just saying straight bullshit

- Anyone glorifying and/or posting about their ED or SH, both are HEAVILY triggering to us and you will be blocked on sight if you do this

- Proship, or anything involving shipping, this makes us uncomfortable VERY quickly, Selfship is excused in most circumstances

- Radqueers, and this only because we don’t know much about them + others not liking them

- TransIDs, get a grip, you are not “TransAsian” or “TransAutism”, and if I hear anyone saying Endos are just like TransIDs one more time-

- Transmeds, please for the love of god, don’t interact, these people probably piss us off the most

- NSFW blogs, WE ARE BODILY A MINOR (17) even if we sometimes make nsfw jokes, that isn’t an invitation for you to interact (We do check accounts FYI)

- Supporters of Lolicon / Shotacon / Similar things

- White Supremacists, Nazis/Neo-Nazis, Zionists, etc. Yall are icky as shit

Specific DNI

- Active Wilbur / Shelby participants, it’s very stressful for us when talked about, and this more for Shelby fans due to bad experiences (see next)

- People who refuse to see introjects for who they are, and not just their source, this goes with the previous one as we have had targeted harassment for having Wilbur introjects

- Supporters of “we-do-not-owe-you-misery”, for more info, check this post ⬇️

- Overly political blogs, yes America is fucked, yes fuck Trump, that’s all you’ll get in terms of politics from here

Thin Ice

(Harassment rule still applies)

- People who tell endos specifically to “fuck off”, it doesn’t bring a nice vibe to your blog (/gen)

- Anti Good Faith Labels (eg. Lesgays), Gender and sexuality is a broad spectrum, and there’s no written rules to what can and can’t be a gender or sexuality. Even if it doesnt make sense to you, it makes sense to the person with the label

- Anything heavy themes of cannibalism, it’s a bit iffy with us, but brief mentions are ok (HABIT has the exception to this, He’ll happily talk about it)

- Slurs, as I briefly mentioned before, we are uncomfortable with slurs being used on us, the only exceptions are if we are friends + we know you can reclaim them

- High amounts of arguing / discourse, this is VERY stressful for us, even if we are not involved, please limit this when possible

- Anyone using “Sysmed” terminology, because of its roots with Transmeds, it does not sit with us right and makes us uncomfortable when people call themselves/others “Sysmeds”

Thin Ice (ext. Fandoms)

- Stray Kids, this is a bit of a “controversial” one, but this is due to having a bit of a rough history with things related to SKZ, and specifically introjects of such (We are aware that introjects are not their source), so please be kind if we are a bit uncomfortable around you, as we are probably being reminded of some bad things that happened

- Homestuck, we personally haven’t looked too deeply into Homestuck, but we generally just get uncomfortable for whatever reason, this is only a light entry

- Harry Potter, and for 2 reasons, we don’t care about it, and J.K Rowling, so for that, be extra cautious

- ANYTHING Sanrio related, we have had extremely bad experiences related to those who are fans of Sanrio, most of which being extremely toxic people, this is a borderline DNI

- Extreme superfans of certain Animes, this includes MHA / My Hero Academia, JJK / Jujitsu Kaisen, BSD / Bungou Stray Dogs, One Piece, and Demon Slayer. We (for whatever reason, can’t explain) feel weird around these specific fandoms, and we don’t know exactly why we feel this way.

[shimmerbeasts]

NAME :　Miss Tantabis, usually called Miss T or T for short.

PRONOUNS:　She/Her, might wanna see how I feel about Them.

PREFERENCE  OF  COMMUNICATION: Discord. While I can use the Tumblr IM and use them as icebreakers, I have gotten more used to using Discord nowadays as it is far more reliable.

NAME  OF  MUSE(S): My primary muses are Jinx, Silco and Vi. My secondary muses are Naafiri, Sevika, Vander/Warwick and Kindred. When it comes to my secondary muses, they are not all equal and sometimes one goes more silent while the other one is far more awake. I tend to go where my muses lead me when it comes to replies.

EXPERIENCE  /  HOW  LONG  (  MONTHS  /  YEARS? ): I started rping around the time I finished my A-levels aka my school graduation. That is nine years now. I started on Facebook and forums during these three years when I was in the advanced levels of high school. However, I quickly moved over to Tumblr. I think that was either already in 2014 or at the very least 2015. Though, if we wanna go by writing alone, I have been telling stories since I was six. That means over twenty years worth of writing by now.

BEST  EXPERIENCE: God, this is a hard question. I had many experiences in so many different rp communities. Not all of them were pleasant. However, I believe what I would deem my best experience, is the fact that through rp, outside of meeting amazing rp partners, I also made some very close friends. Some of these people, I have known for years, and they helped me through strife and tribulations. I cannot thank them enough for being the awesome human beings they are. At the same time, I am just so happy with how rpers give me a chance and how they have helped me so much with my ability to world build and finally embrace my own creativity. It may be an ongoing struggle, I still sometimes have, but I know I have people here who adore my ideas and my style and for that I cannot thank them enough.

RP  PET  PEEVES  /  DEALBREAKERS: I think the only real dealbreakers I have are things like blatantly expressed homophobia/racism, etc. Basically, people being dicks. Though that isn't really a surprise and not really RP-related. I think, in that regard, something I really despise is when people try to tell you how to write your blog, your muses, what you curate on your dash. I am not a big fan of one-liners either and normally, prefer multi-para replies. At the same time, if you can give me something to work with and the passion is there, I can also do shorter stuff. I also do not like it if communication does not happen, even though I know I too have to work on that sometimes. RPing is a two-way street and many of my pet peeves relate to that street being disrupted.

MUSE  PREFERENCES  FLUFF,   ANGST  OR  SMUT: I tend to say that I am predominantly a horror writer. Both due to my themes, my choice of characters and my writing style. Because of this, I absolutely love angst, whether that be heavily emotionally taxing angst or gory and violent angst. However, I am not opposed to fluff either, though I prefer if it is coming out of angst. I think that is called hurt/comfort. Smut is something, that while I do enjoy writing it sometimes, is not my biggest strong suit. I can normally only do certain types of smut and even then only with people I trust deeply and where my muses really have chemistry.

PLOTS  OR  MEMES: While I love using memes as an ice breaker just to gauge how our muses would interact with one another and whether our writing style mashes, I am more of a plotting kind of person. I still have to practise this craft a bit more. However, I prefer to have at least an idea of the dynamic we attempt to build with our muses and I always enjoy discussing potential scenes and plots we can do with that dynamic. If we manage to do the proper groundwork, most plots write themselves.

LONG  OR  SHORT  REPLIES: I prefer long threads and replies. I thrive on multi-para to novella roleplays. Threads, which are filled with details and characterisation. I love it when I can really sink my teeth into what has been written and when the reply challenges me to bring forth my A-game. Longer threads keep my passion going and usually make dropping things harder.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: I normally write in the early morning hours or afternoon. I do not think there is a best time to write. I am trying to learn to be able to write at pretty much any time. However, I also always check what I am in the mood for. Or I plan to try to finish specific replies. It does not always work.

ARE  YOU  LIKE  YOUR  MUSE(S): From my primary muses, the one I relate to the most and the one who is the loudest and easiest to write for me, is without a doubt, Jinx. While I may not have psychosis or the tendency to commit acts of murder, when it comes to Jinx's personality like her creativity, her wrathfulness and her tendency to overthink, those are elements, with which I deeply connect. By now I have written Jinx and built her and the world she inhabits in a way, which makes her both similar and different to the version of Arcane. This version of Jinx is very dear to me and in my eyes indeed shares some of my qualities.

Tagged by: @knifvd, @ferinehuntress and @tealsteel

Tagging: @the-rogue-dragon, @thenextchapterbegins, @demacianhcart, @blackrosesmatron, @moxxee, @moxxietude, @hexcoremagician, @jynxd, @powdied

[randomprosho]

i wanted to make a post about my thoughts on pro/anti para, but I feel it will be all over the place. I suck at articulating my thoughts so misunderstandings are bound to happen. I am someone who is very self analytical, so I just started thinking about this topic a bit more... Another reason I was thinking about this is because someone had gotten triggered by name alone. I didn't even say an opinion. they did apologize and I'm not angry over it, it's just something that happened and I do feel a little bad about it.

like, I KNOW that pro paras will come out to say "it's not pedos/zoos/necros you dislike, it's predators" because I have only been around predators. nothing happened to me personally. The first thing, I was in elementary school and there was a teacher everyone liked, but for some reason, I didn't want to be anywhere near him, especially alone. When I was a teenager, he was arrested for being in possession of CSEM.

A few years ago, my aunt brought this man into her sister's home for the holidays. she use to take care of people who couldn't care for themselves. This man had been to prison for harming children and she brought him with her into a house that had children. I didn't know that he actually touched my younger cousin, I only found out afterward. But when he came to the tabel and introduced himself to us, I didn't want to look at him. Luckily my aunt took him and left pretty quickly, he wasn't there for long.

When I was younger, I liked watching these shows that were similar to Maury, I believe one of these shows had a female host and she was explaining facts about pedophilia (specifically). And it was things that pro paras believe. I know they're facts and not "normalization of pedophilia".

I remember about a year ago, an organization put out their research about pedophilia and everyone was angry about it, accusing them of trying to normalize pedophilia, they eventually had to delete their post/thread. I did want to tell my moot who also jumped in that that wasn't the case. What that organization posted were facts that I've heard before. I didn't want to be accused of supporting pedophilia and he is someone that is very anti, to the point he would post those threat memes.

While I'm not very political, I have seen a certain group say "facts don't care about your feelings" and that is also the case with pro para and research involving such illnesses and disorders.

Im basically anti in name only. When I say that pro paras want to force people into being comfortable around them, it's not about them tagging their posts, I mean that I have literally been told this by pro paras. I have been told that I NEED to be comfortable around them, that I NEED work on my self, that it's not good enough that I block and not harass them. I HAVE to be accepting of them.

No one is evil for having thoughts/feelings they don't want, no one should feel suicidal for having certain thoughts/feelings, no one should feel shame for having certain thoughts/feelings.

When I think of someone who is proud of their thoughts/feelings, they're the types that believe they're not harming who they're attracted to, that those they're attracted to can concent. They're the types that want laws to change so they can freely abuse those they're attracted to.

i might add more if I have anything else that comes to mind.

[soulofagwa]

"KITA KITA"

- Agwa (Obra-Tinta), 2023

[3] Is being visually impaired is a hindrance to falling inlove? In every viewpoint love is one of the meritorious gift that you can be attain and bequeath. "Di mo naman siya kailangang makita, mararamdaman mo naman" mga salitang kaniyang isinambit noong siya ay nabubuhay pa. I met this genuine person who love me unconditionally and treat me the way i deserve to be treated. His voice keeps lingering in my ears, the way how palpable his words made my heart melt, his embrace made her feel safe and comfortable. Siya'y napa-isip kung paano ko natanggap ang ganitong pag-trato dahil nga ako'y bulag. This man change her life, he leads her to positive side of life, but their love story come to it ends when she can already glimpse jer sorroundings especially him. To do what one said one would definitely do ㅡ '"Natatakot ako na gawin mag-isa ang ating mga pinangarap subalit nung bumalik ang akin paningin ikaw ay hindi ko na muling nasilayan". I cannot compare how berevead I am while witnessing myself alone again, but I cannot change that's our destiny. "Salamat mahal at patawad kung ganito ang itinadhana para saatin.

[mikayuubigbang]

Mikayuu Big Bang Fic Summaries

Hello artists in the fandom!! The time has finally come for the writer’s fic summaries to go live! Here they are!

Here are the fic summaries from our writers!

How this will work: Artists! You’ll be looking at the fics below and choosing your top three fics you would like to draw for, filling them out in the linked form below! (Please only fill it out once!)

https://forms.gle/PhGeCFd5iLg8g8dn6

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FIC 1

Summary:  Mika got injured by the Moon Demon company. Without blood, she's as good as dead. To save her, Yuu offers her own blood. Saving Mika matters more than her own life.

Tags:  Female Mikayuu, blood drinking, comfort, Mika cries a lot

FIC 2

Summary:  Mika is helping coordinate a frat party and randomly invites Yuu. They don’t know each other personally, and it’s Yuu’s first ever party. But the sparks are flying instantly, and intense flirtations are exchanged throughout the night. What happens when a bunch of horny college students get together? Hook ups. This time in the form of being alone in a dark closet with their partner left up to the fate of a spinning bottle.

Tags:  Smut, Blowjobs, Fingering, Frottage, College AU, Shameless Flirting on both sides, Sexual Tension, Songfic, Strangers to Lovers, Top!Mika/Bottom!Yuu

FIC 3

Summary: Being in debt wasn't anything new for Mikaela Shindo. In fact, he had a long history of being in debt in order to get by. 

 So, when his employer, Guren Ichinose, offered to settle his debts in exchange of a contract marriage, Mikaela wasn't exactly thrilled about the idea. But, logically speaking, it was his ticket to be a free man. He only needed a year to pretend he was Guren's husband. 

 That was until Yuuichirou Ichinose, Guren's nephew-turned-adopted son, spiraled that simple offer of a contract marriage into a dangerous gamble full of deceptions and lies.

Tags:  Fake Marriage/Relationship, Implied NTR/Cheating, MikaYuu endgame, Soft Porn/Implied Porn, One Night Stand, Cliffhanger ending, Mystery & Drama, Lots of drama, Transactional relationships, Discovering true love, mentions of alcohol

FIC 4

Summary:  The first snowfall of the year occurred at dawn, while Yuu and Mika were sleeping peacefully; they would have a nice gift when they woke up, and that is because they loved winter days, where they could snuggle together to feel each other's warmth. 

La primera nevada del año ocurrió en la madrugada, mientras Yuu y Mika dormían plácidamente; tendrían un bonito regalo al despertarse, y es que amaban los días de invierno, donde podían acurrucarse juntos para sentir el calor del otro.

Tags:  au modern, general audience, gureshin as secondary couple

FIC 5

Summary:  Yuuichiro lost his memory due to an accident he had in one of his last missions as a soldier, he is forced by his doctor and adoptive father to go to a country house to rest. Only there is a small detail, Guren married a beautiful omega and he also resides in that place. When the alpha arrives at that place he is greeted with a pleasant smell of milk that is all over the house, curious about the aroma he discovers that it comes from the living room and when he enters the room he is surprised to see his childhood friend and love interest breastfeeding a blue-eyed, jet-haired baby. Mika married Guren and they had a child!? Yuuichiro can't help but feel jealous.

Tags:  Hyakuya Mikaela/Hyakuya Yuuichirou, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bottom Hyakuya Mikaela, Top Hyakuya Yuuichirou, vaginal sex, sex toys, anal sex, blowjob, Intersex Mikaela, dirty talk, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Rutting, Fluff and Smut

FIC 6

Summary:  When Mika—a skilled magician who also happened to be a vampire—got tricked by a witch in his own game, he now had to play by the other’s rules. It’s only by sheer curiosity that he accepted the deal proposed by the witch, but that’s a decision that would quickly send him into a rabbit hole. Meanwhile, all Yuu wanted was to protect what's most important, no matter the cost.

Tags:  blood sucking, mild gore, a few deaths, partial fem!yuu (only a few scenes), bunny!yuu (literal bunny, also in a couple scenes), witch!yuu, victorian au, vamp!yuu, kidnapping, very british, aesthetic; I don't think it's very dark, and the main theme here is magic.

FIC 7

Summary:  Mika and Yuu are two of the deadliest at warriors in the armies of space empires that have been at war for thousands of years. But in the aftermath of battle they find themselves stranded on a deadly planet, and their only hope of survival is each other.

Tags:  Mild Violence, Alternate Universe: Science Fiction

FIC 8

Summary:  “At 8 in the morning, Mikaela was the first to leave the apartment.  The light was much clearer at that hour, so Yuichiro allowed himself a peek into the living room.  He started looking around the walls, being attracted by the picture frames that, for some reason, were turned around; he approached one of them and held it in his hands. In front of his eyes, there was nothing more and nothing less than a photograph of him, one in which he apparently held a cheerful expression next to Mikaela;  they were both sitting on the grass somewhere that he cannot determine, but what caught his attention the most in the photograph was that between their intertwined hands, they both wear a pair of matching rings on their ring finger. 

The emotions evoked were nameless: surprise?, nostalgia?, confusion?, surprise? People had already warned him about the relationship he used to have with Mikaela, but he didn’t expect that seeing a photograph would shake his feelings so much.  He wanted to cry of sheer frustration at that moment, but he stopped himself.  After all, there was no use in thinking about what it was.” 

[Or, Mikayuu have been victims of amnesia shortly before their wedding. Maybe it was an opportunity to reconsider their choices?]

Tags:  Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Hurt/Comfort, Amnesia, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Happy Ending

FIC 9

Summary:  On his way back from a funeral, Mika finds a black cat abandoned in a carton box with the name “Yuuichirou Hyakuya” scribbled on it. He takes the cat home, unaware that he is about to be swindled of all his cash in under 24 hours… If Yuu can sneak away without “the cat getting out of the bag”, that is. (AKA yuu can turn into a cat but his attempts to steal from mika and run away are thwarted by circumstances time and time again)

Tags:  fluff, some humour, hurt/comfort, no angst, no smut, homeless Yuu

FIC 10

Summary:  Set in the modern era, Mikaela has his work cut out for him as the immortal ‘God of love’ Cupid. He mostly makes himself busy helping out those who just need a little push in their romantic prospects. But one day, while minding his business, he comes across someone..unique. 

That person is Yuuichiro Amane, the towns local mechanic. 

Mikaela immediately drops all of his work to follow Yu around. And whilst leaving secret notes for eachother, Mikaela and Yuuichiro build a relationship. Only problem: Mikaela isn’t sure how to reveal his identity. 

Will being Cupid interfere with their love lives? Or will true love prevail?

Tags: Fluffy as all hell

FIC 11

Summary: Yuuichirou Amane is a powerful necromancer, and he wishes more than anything that he was not. He keeps his powers a secret from the Hyakuya Church - the religious organization that took him in after an accident that killed his parents - and from his best friend Mikaela, another orphan taken in by the Church. Seven years after coming to the Hyakuya Church, Yuuichirou is sent on a mission with Mikaela, but their small caravan is attacked en route by vampires, and Mikaela is killed in combat. Witnessing this, Yuuichirou has a necromantic meltdown that kills the remaining vampires and priests in the caravan…and revives Mikaela as a vampire. The two are taken in by Guren Ichinose, a necromancer who used to serve the Yuuichirou’s family as his tutor, who has been in hiding with his partner, Shinya, since the fire incident. A necromancer creating a vampire is an unprecedented occurrence, and so the two are tasked with researching connections between vampires and necromancers and experimenting together to test the rules of this strange new magic.

Being stuck together in an elaborate Gothic magic library-turned-laboratory brings up some issues between the two that can no longer be avoided, and the fallout leads to some exciting sensual discoveries.

Tags:  Fantasy AU, Gothic Setting, Vampires, Necromancy, Zombies, Brief Mention of Suicidal Ideation, Religious Trauma, Light violence and gore, Friends to Lovers, Implied Homophobia, Making Out, Smut, First Time, Hand Job, Blow Job

FIC 12

Summary:  After Mika witnessed Yuu's death during a mission and went on a rampage, Krul had him imprisoned. Still unwilling to drink human blood, Mika spends his days in a coffin, only coming out to drink the blood Krul left for him. But one day, Ferid brings him a soldier from the Japanese Imperial Demon Army.

Tags:  Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence | Friends to Lovers | Hurt/Comfort | First Kiss | Non-Penetrative Sex | Intercrural Sex | Top Hyakuya Yuuichirou | Bottom Hyakuya Mikaela | Bath Sex | Blood Drinking

FIC 13

Summary: The year is 1899. With no purpose other than living beyond the boundary of the rapidly changing world, Mikaela is caught in the middle of his fanatically religious gang and the law that wants him dead. When he takes a bounty hunter hostage after a train robbery goes awry, he starts to battle between who he has been all his life and who he desires to be.  

Red Dead Redemption 2 AU

Tags:  NSFW, violence, murder, criminals and lawmen, blood and gore, non-con (not graphic but still intense and not between mika and yuu), religious undertones, happy ending, smut (consensual), bounty hunter yuu, outlaw mikaela, yuumika

FIC 14

Summary: Caught by humans, Mikaela is left for a sacrifice to a ‘great beast’ that prowls the forests. It’s just his luck it turns out to be a werewolf; but the werewolf isn’t there to eat him, but instead, delivers him to a mysterious lord locked away in a castle. But can a creature of the sun and one of the moon ever live together? Or was Mikaela doomed the moment he was put on that cross? 

Tags:  angel Mika, vampire Yuu, werewolf Yoichi, loose beauty and the beast inspiration, blood drinking.

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The link to put your preferences in once again!

https://forms.gle/PhGeCFd5iLg8g8dn6

And as a reminder, here is the schedule for artists:

[themarissaharrison]

Ashes to Ashes | Self Para

mentions: @nsloanefms / delilah daniels trigger warning(s): fire / loss / drinking

The nights alone were always the worst. She was glad, happy even, that Nicola was finally doing what made her heart happy - what fired up her passion and sense of self, of duty. But the days when she would have to work late, into the night, through the night... They were hard. Lonely. Right now? Scary. She kept those feelings to herself, as much as she could, because she didn’t want to worry the older woman. Nic hadn’t been taking everything going on too well, blame and guilt flooding her system after promising Viv lessons, and never being able to deliver them. The feeling that she couldn’t escape the dark, poisonous clutches of death - that she was cursed with losing everyone that meant anything... And though she never said it, she knew fear sat heavily on Nicola’s chest. She knew the thought of the killer seperating them forever ran through her mind frequently... She knew because the same thought ran through her own. She knew because it was what was on her mind right now as she sat out on the balcony, eyes on the stars, knees pulled into chest and cardigan wrapped around like a warm hug.

“At the end of the day, I will always come home to you.” 

Marissa was a pessimist at best, and a self destructive hurricane at worst. So, naturally, those words that Nicola had once said to her circulated her mind in doubt, not comfort. At this point, what would she do if that promise was broken? She had promised herself that she would never get into this situation again - that she wouldn’t put her heart, her soul, her sanity in the palm of someone else’s hand. Yet, here she was. Her life, in the space of just a few months, for better or worse, now started and stopped with the firefighter. She loved her more than she had the words to express, unable to go much longer than a few hours without the other brushing past her thoughts, often bringing a gentle smile to her features.

As she looked up into the sky, her mind moved to the last person who made her feel like this - to Delilah. Her heart sank as she thought about the blonde, as she tried her best to recall the way she used to smile and laugh but could barely hear it properly anymore, as if the laugh was coming from behind closed doors - distant, dampened. 

“I’m not leaving this time, I promise.”

That was one of the last things Delilah had said to her before leaving for good. The similarity to Nicola’s promise was eery, making it difficult to not necessarily not trust Nic’s word, but to believe the universe will allow the promise to be kept. She wondered whether Delilah was up there somewhere in the stars, looking over her, bullying the universe into finally giving her a break. Riss sighed, reaching down beside the chair and picking up the glass of wine, bringing it to her lips for a drink. She’d been doing a lot more of that lately - suppressing everything with alcohol. It was easier that way.

She didn’t know how much time passed by as she sat there drinking, thinking. She didn’t know at what point she spaced out from reality, but she clearly did. Sirens brought her back, the sound of fire engines rushing past and, for some reason, she knew... She knew where they were headed. She stumbled to bring herself to a stand, red wine knocked over, spilling out onto the white fabric on the chair. Riss didn’t notice. She was already inside, feet slamming into boots, arms pushing into coat, hands grabbing keys. She rushed out the backdoor and onto the beach. And that’s when she saw it. 

The flames soared up into the night sky, the dark water reflecting the amber blaze. Her home, alight. Before she even knew what she was doing, she was running. Sand kicked up behind her, as she got closer and closer to the inferno. She fell a few times, a mixture of the darkness obsuring objects in the sand and the two bottles of wine she’d already drank tonight. But she kept pulling herself up and she kept running until she arrived on her strip of the beach, and as if perfectly timed, the moment she took a step towards her home, the pressure inside smashed through the bottom floor windows, glass shattering and flames poured out and rolled upwards to the night sky. It was too late. Her home was gone. Everything she had held dear... The last things she had of Delilah’s... Gone. She had moved in with Nic a week or so ago, but she’d decided to keep most of her belongings here... They were supposed to be save.

Marissa fell to her knees, chest heavily rising and falling as tears streamed down her cheeks. She screamed. It was the type of scream that would pierce the ears of anyone around to hear it, the type that one only makes when their entire world is collapsing in on itself. Hands gripped her own shirt as she felt a thousand knives lodge into her heart, as the weight of a million losses tied itself around it and pulled it into the ground. Everything was gone. Delilah was gone.

Crippled over, Riss struggled to catch a breath as tears poured out onto the sand. Little did she know, just a few hundred meters in front of her, Nicola was also struggling to breathe. Little did she know, the fire didn’t threaten to just take the reminiscence of her old lover, but the life of her current. It was probably best she didn’t know what was really happening inside, that she couldn’t hear the calls to Nicola from the other firefighters. If she knew, if she’d heard the firefighters calls, she wouldn’t have thought twice about walking into the flames. But she didn’t know. 

And she didn’t know how long she stayed there on her knees, watching her life burn away, before someone found her. But at some point, a blanket was draped over her shoulders. But at some point, the arms of another wrapped around her. But at some point, a voice told her it was going to be okay. 

But nothing was okay, and nothing was ever going to be okay again. Everything was gone.

[shhthesecretdiary]

uhm

Random thought dump during this past weekend!

I had a burst of creativity and having ideas of life videos recently!

Also bought a kindle and trying to read more na and lesser screen time. Is this me becoming a tita na? huhu.

Work has been a bit hectic though ang dami ko pa ring 'di nagegets talaga and uhm, although I am a beginner I kinda want to be involved rin. More of that later.

Friday, we were all working from the office. Then, I was not in the mood to work. Char. Umuwi na kami around lunch time, so I was craving for ramen or hotpot. And I did go to h4id1la0 alone with a bear in front of me. Nakakainis kasi late kong nakita na may set meal for one person. So I paid 2x sa food na pinilit ko lang ubusin.

Para madigest ang food, naglakad ako inside dubai mall and saw arte mus3um. it's really nice to go on museums alone. AND I LIKE THE LIVE CANVAS HAHAHHAAHA my poor purple-blue dolphin and neon green colored feet na camel.

pero other than that mostly it is digital art din. it's nice. like art in island. wished it was more interactive though.

I went home after that. Then I was just into editing Taiwan travel vid Like really into it na need ko sya matapos right then. I slept at almost 4am.

Saturday and sabog ako. Initial plan was to have brunch somewhere pero natulog si itan so naka 3 rounds ako ng tulog. We went to Dubai hills mall after then stayed there until past 12am. We went to w4g4mama for ramen, hay b0t3jyu pa rin talaga. ako na nagbayad. then ikot langs tapos ayon staba. puyat uli.

Sunday and I need to rush my clp grad speech. I was not into it that much. Liike, am i being an oversharer? inooverthink ko pero i need to tell a story. then late na ako nakarating, di rin nakapagpractice for performance.

normal talk8 na saglit lang tapos nagprep na for lords day. may pabread and juice pa like bread and wine tas a lot of songs and prayers, tas speeches, DGL perf. etc etc

then buffet dinner.

tas perf na uli and share

TAPOS DI AKO AWARE NA NEED PALA NG WHITE SHIRT KASI TATANGGALIN YUNG BLAZER NA BLACK, SHEESH. so nasa likod ako nakasando tas di pa alam pineperform ko. umay.

I've been thinking about the embarassing moments like these too much ahahay.

Isa pa, yung speech ko omg ang dramatic ata. omg omg tas ang panget ko pa don sa pic. tas yung iba nakakatawa speech nila. tas ako may script sila wala

anyway

ang taba ko na :(

tapos bale 1:30pm -10:30pm yon teh grabe. daig pa full time job. pero masaya naman.

tas ayon pa inapproach ako ni kuya mark um4y4m after sksksk nakakahiya kamaganak ko tas napaovershare ako. anyway, inapproach ko rin si kyla. yung nagsend ng number ko kay ate che ann to join clp. tas HAY. kasi nagpapic ako sa kanila using instax. nyeta nadouble print ko yung kay kuya mark so di ko nabigyan si kyla ng copy SHET WALA PA AKONG SPARE FILM BUSET

ayon. tas naiwan ko pa yung comfort cross na souvenir sa clp grad hahahay

so officially sfc membs na me

mONDAY CAME.

inaantok lang ako the whole day.

then nagkaroon meeting sila n4s, a1s at 4nni3. so uhm, paano ako? tas naiinis ako kasi itong si n4s, tinanong ako regarding sa mktg. like di ba ako iinvolve sa meeting? kahit l3c0tra yon at di ko entity, di ba nila gustong malaman ko rin? wala nahurt lang ako tbh kasi it means they dont see me as a reliable member pa. though understandable naman na beginner ako pero i still want that inclusivity ba.

pero ayon, buti nalang din at least nakauwi ako ng maaga. pero kasi wala na nga akong nagegets sa mga nangyayari don and i want to get it.

pero sguro rin it's on me and i may not be making enough effort to understand or i am not proactive enough.

i will try not to accomodate these feelings and i will just take it as something for me to use as a motivation na i need to catch up. magleave rin si ann13 from nov 11 til end of the month tas papasok uli ng 2 weeks then leave uli.

gusto ko magkazakhstan

anyway

HAHHAHHAHAA

i may not really convey this in a very sequential way pero ayon i just want to let this out. life update. i would want to go deep pa. nakatulog kasi ako after work for 1hr 15 min SO AYON, sabog na naman sleeping sched ko.

I need to reflect thin and absorb what is happening to my life recently kasi if i did not write this, i would probably forget it and photos will be stuck on my gallery left unseen.

minsan iniisip ko rin probably disappointed sila na hinire nila ako ahahahahahhaah hay

i need to collect my thoughts and just focus on what i can control. i need to work on this mindset kasi ako lang rin mahihirapan if i will dwell on it and entertain it.

osya.

nakwento ko rin ba yung last weekend? oct 25-27 friday night is telebabad with shs friends back to back with college friends. saturday we went to ate's inaanaks bday party na boring eme. di ko lang kasi kilala, tsaka mukhang bored celebrant. iwent to lino and bangchan cupsleeve event. ala pa akong sahod non so di ako nabudol sa merch ahahah then met people din ang saya.

these days i am glad that i make an effort to go out and meet new people na.

work week after that was drama. nagaway sa harap ko si 4isw4ry4 at 3v3 kasi don pa ako nakaupo sa office ni 3v3.

now don na ako sa tabi nila ac5(now ac2) at ni ac3. so ramdam ko na yung pagka-OP ko.

alam mo yung nakikita kong dependent sila kay 4nni3 now and at some point i want to be reliable and magask din sakin pero can i deal with the pressure.

wala lang ang gulo lang ng setup na napasukan ko.

hoping for better days and better company soon.

and if i could just do what i love and have a lot of money.

next week is p1cpa g4la dinn3r.

i am grateful and blessed.

thanks Lord,

[trickscourse]

I got 2 notifs from @stationdefenseteam within the past half hour so I guess resting isn't allowed ://

Most of this is a copy pasted from my original response on the post and question before they decided to possibly leave me alone and fucking delete it. Hopefully they just screw off.

I'm not really cool to using a picture of my dog more than my art only because people have been incredibly weird about him over the years and I've had people make horrible edits of him before. Please remove or change your icon, this shouldn't matter since I already reported you once already.

There's no point in denying my past behavior, I've done some fucked up shit in the past in the past and I will completely acknowledge that. To be honest I'm not going to sit here and scramble to explain why actions I did as a teenager don't hold up now since for the most part it makes basic common sense.

I will say as someone who's trying their best to recover from being a terrible person that I have no idea why I want to throw my development and recovery backwards by spending little time and energy that I have harassing people who are better off not in my life, or mine in theirs.

When it comes to me having a previous post on my blog that I originally swapped the freezing of, contact the court recently to see if that counts as harassment and then just delete it all together to get rid of the problem all together.

Having an alter someone's OC so he doesn't mean that you're stealing it because people with did have no way to control who they have an intorject of

As cool as it is knowing that the current owner of @stationdefenseteam is stalking my twitter and this blog, several people can confirm that know me both IRL and online that Arty is in fact a real person.

There are several more confirmations outside of the ones that I've given on this blog and the mods of @stationdefenceteam / @calloutrebuttal have, but we also are barely friends anymore for reasons outside of this whole debacle and mostly having to do with personal friend group issues and how much she's been harassing Miles and other people.

The last thing I want is someone to go through the same harassment that I had when I was younger and still do now.

I didn't see the pride flag edits until I got notification of the harassment post in question, and I'm comfortably disgusted. I don't support the pro-para movement or any radqueer bullshit, I think the idea of "reclaiming" someone's personal OC that clearly means a lot to them and using it for hate or being fucking petty is weird as fuck!!

After this post goes up I'll probably be blocking them in the other mods on all social media since being involved with this is making my mental & physical health turn to shit. My close friends agree with it too.

My 'lessgoooooo' is entirely sarcastic.

I showed my full, uncensored username list to several people on here and just don't want to put it in this post because I have several versions of my old legal name, phone number and address hoarded because people on this website love to role play as me for some reason?