#[ she kind of goes with the flow of things and just accepts things the way she sees it ]

[sylvva]

anon said :

to camilla: Luffy didn't fall for Boa Hancock, why would he fall for you? He clearly doesn't care for romance.

send my muse anons // always accepting

❀ 𓏬 Small waves of heat came and went with the crackling of the bonfire. It's sound barely audible, masked music, singing, and the usual chatter that came with the random parties the crew throws. Laughs surrounding her, while all she could seem to muster is a smile.

Her eyes glanced down at the drink in her hand, her second fruity mix of the night. Camilla wasn't drunk, in fact she would barely call herself tipsy. Yet, the alcohol in her system was just enough to derail her thoughts away from the good time she was meant to be having. The intrusive question coming in like a bug buzzing in her ear, and the girl couldn't seem to shake it.

There was little point in debating what the voice was saying. Camilla was not going to fight herself to prove her worth, that was a mind battle she already played several times in. She didn't require new reassurance when the man in question already gave it to her. Besides, it wasn't like the statement repeating in her head was necessarily wrong. Anyone with a pair of eyes could tell Luffy had no bone in his body that felt any sort of attraction. And he was clueless when it came to romance. Those two facts didn't mean he was in capable of love.

The girl's gaze drifted up to the group once more. Brook's upbeat melody had started a new round of dancing. Their captain out of control movements to the beat broke a laugh out of her. It never got old watching him act out, there was a certain charm under all that goofiness. Her feelings for him were unexpected, but now that they had arrived they were probably obvious. And because they were obvious, to an outside eye she probably looked foolish, lost in unrequited love.

An out stretched rubber hand grabbed hers, and without much wait pulled her from her seat. Gleefully Camilla followed, interlacing their fingers in the process of keeping up with Luffy's eccentric dancing. The rest of the unsettling thoughts finally being pushed away from her mind.

It didn't matter if he wasn't able to fall in love with her the same way she had. Just as everything he does needs a better understanding of him, the way he showcases love was no exception. No one would be able to tell her that he didn't show her love.

ooc: camilla and luffy's relation is a complicated, not typical, romance. everything has been plotted with @astherea 's luffy through many many years of rping together. we do our best to navigate feelings with how luffy's sexuality (or lack of) is portrayed in the series. hope this insight helps !!

[hijackalx]

BG3 CHARACTERS REACTING TO BEING CALLED DADDY/MOMMY +18

characters included: karlach, astarion, halsin, gale, gortash

KARLACH

LOVES being called mama/mommy. probably suggests that you call her that before you can even bring it up

kind of plays into the caregiver role but only to an extent. it definitely feels like a character she shifts into. plays it VERY good though

usually something she reserves just for sex. if she calls herself mommy otherwise it’s probably in a nonsexual, playful manner (unless she’s teasing, which will be VERY obvious)

on the other hand…. if you call her mommy outside of sex….. she will be acting accordingly (your hole is getting obliterated promptly)

really, REALLY sweet when she goes into mommy mode 😭 like i don’t think could be a hard dom mommy if she tried. the two just don’t mix for her. consists of lots of praise and kisses and cooing

ASTARION

i’m sure he’s heard it before, but it’s different coming from you. he’s definitely taken aback at first. has to think about how he feels about it LMAO

makes him feel old af 😹😹 but he’s lowkey a sucker for an age gap dynamic so he has mixed feelings

eventually accepts how hot it is. once he sees you falling apart beneath him whimpering “daddy, daddy, daddy—“ his soul is SNATCHED !!!!!!!

loves to refer to himself as daddy to see your reaction— SO obsessed with the effect it has on you. he thinks it’s so sweet. will also use it to get you to do what he wants (using his powers for evil fr)

honestly wouldn’t have thought to introduce it to your relationship but he’s literally a natural. he already has the patronizing soft dom thing down so it flows pretty easily 😹💗

GORTASH

THE DADDY OF ALL TIME. DO NOT EVEN SPEAK TO HIM IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO BEGIN AND END EVERY SENTENCE WITH “DADDY”

refers to himself as daddy CONSTANTLY. will also do it outside of sex. literally a cringe discord daddy dom. but like. sexy. (will call you kitten)

HARD and MEAN daddy dom. can occasionally be sweet with it during aftercare though— “daddy’s so proud of you”

hearing you call him daddy makes him sooo weak. you can honestly get him to do anything for you if you whine “daddy” in a needy enough tone 😈 bonus points if you call him daddy in public. 100% wants everyone to know that you call him that

also super into the sugar daddy thing. loves to shower you in gifts and money. definitely a prominent dynamic in your relationship

GALE

legit stops him in his tracks. he’s like a deer in headlights. has no idea how to react LMAO

never considered himself daddy material before. he’s excited that you do though (he’s pumping his fist in the air and whispering “yesss” 😹😹) it’s a huge compliment for him

kind of awkward using it during sex at the beginning, he just doesn’t want to sound weird or anything. but if you encourage him he gets more confident with it and it’s so, so good

has such a good personality for it in terms of attentiveness/caring for you. plays daddy extremely well but he’d never admit it (still doesn’t believe he’s daddy material 😹)

gets SO flustered if you call him daddy in front of other people. even though he thinks it’s super hot he’d prefer for it to stay your little secret— it’s kind of sexier that way anyway

HALSIN

the most normal about being called daddy. doesn’t think it’s some huge deal or anything— he’s heard it before and it doesn’t phase him

integrates it into your sex life really smoothly (and into your everyday life if you want that). doesn’t care at all if people overhear and lowkey can embarrass you with how much he will readily refer to himself as that in public 😹😹 if you wanted him to wear a badge that said “[name]’s daddy” he would LMAO

always coming up with ways to get you to say it during sex, usually offering some kind of reward for it if you catch my drift 😼

the best at the caregiver role. does it so casually and it seems very normal for him. has such a good, soothing tone of voice for it too

the only downside is that it almost feels like he’s not as into it as you are. i mean he is but he’s so lax about it because he’s just like “kink is normal who cares !!” but like damn a little enthusiasm PLEASE

[nieceeee]

Can you do a story with ony about every time he buys her something she pays him back either in cash or getting him a gift just as expensive every time and he eventually catch’s on and asks her why to which she explains how at the end of her last relationship her ex was tryna to force her to pay him for “wasting his time” can it end in smut plz 🤭🤭😩

“ALL THE THINGS”

P/S: Most of your life your relationships have been transactional. You learned early on that nothing you get comes for free, especially with me. It was always a give and take. So when you got with Ony, you expected the same things. For every gift he got you, you made sure to double it because that's how the game goes right? Well Ony wasn't having that. He was going to get it through to you by any means necessary...

WC: 3.2k

A/N: DO NOT HATE ME! MNDI!! This took so much longer than I expected it to. But I hope you like it. It got me in my feelings a little bit ngl. Nicknames (pa, mamas, princess, babygirl) smutty, slight angst as well but there is smut and cute fluff, p in v, body worship, I think that’s all.

Life is about balance. The ebbs and flows are what makes the world go ‘round. Every action requires a reaction. It's a give and a take.

You took that literally.

Simply put, you have never known a love that wasn’t built on balance. And for as long as you could remember, every relationship you were involved in had been more of a checks and balances act that anything. It was all so…transactional.

See love has it's strings attached, no matter how the fairytales tries to spin it. It was an unwritten rule. In order to get what you wanted you had to give exactly that same thing or greater back. You needed to surpass expectations to have someone meet your own. You learned-- no, excelled at this. Now, could it have stemmed from deeper rooted insecurities of protecting yourself from being hurt. Sure.

I mean you were told at an early age from women in your life that nothing was truly free. Love, affections, kindness-- they all came with a cost. And you simply learned to play the game. Accept it with grace but never let them think they got one up on you. You remember the warning as clear as day. You kept your guard up, always matching every gesture, every gift, every ounce of attention you got from the people who mattered most. Because it had always been a give and take, and you’d be damned if you were ever the one left holding the bag.

Nonetheless this worked. It always worked. Until you met Ony.

Onyankopon came into your life like any other relationship would. He was sweet, charismatic, gentle. He was everything you could have ever asked for in a man. Patient, a rock when you needed him, and a safe space for you to just…be. When everything around you fell to chaos, he was the one thing that could lead you back into serenity. He quiet devotion to you was unmatched, making you feel seen and appreciated in every way a woman needed to be. Only was a simple gentleman who loved his lady. And he showed it even in the smallest of gestures--a hand-picked flower, a warm sweater on a cold day, a soft kiss on your forehead when you least expected it. It just felt right.

But with each gift, you felt a twinge of unease, a little tug in your chest. Those words repeating in your brain.

What was his endgame?

Ony loved you. Plain and simple. Anyone could see that. But yet you were so blinded by past hurt, you couldn’t step outside of your own head. Surely, he isn’t doing these things and expecting nothing back? No, it's just like before. So you did what you’ve always done. You matched him, made sure each gift was of equal or greater value. Yours needed to be more meaningful, more dramatic. You had to outdo him.

Every. Single. Time

It started early, a few weeks into your relationship--like when he bought you your favorite coffee from the cafe around the corner of your apartment that you loved so much. Of course you had to treat him to lunch the next day. “What’s this?” he asked when you walked in the house. He was working from home, headphones covering one of his ears. “I figured you were hungry so I wanted to bring you a treat.” you had replied. He smiled up at you, placing a gentle kiss against your temple. “Thank you baby girl.” his voice was soft with you, hands tracing gentle circles into your hips.

Further into your relationship, it continued. For you birthday, he bought you the beautiful tiffany princess cut diamond necklace that you were raving about one night as you scrolled on tiktok. “Omg, Pa look at this! It's gorgeous.” you had exclaimed. You saved it to your cart for you to buy later but he beat you to it. So what did you do? You bought him a Berluti Men’s leather jacket for his own birthday that you knew he had been eyeing for months.

But soon, the game escalated. You found yourself overthinking every little thing he did. Your mind wondering what you could give him in return. And no matter how hard you tried, you always felt like you had to top his gestures, matching him with something bigger, something better.

Ony had an inkling about your behavior for a while but he left it alone. Until your two year anniversary. That night, you sat together in his apartment, you hand him a gift--a black bag with two boxes inside. He smiles at you as he opens it up. Inside were two new grillz, one silver set and one gold set for his collection. His shocked expression morphed into a small smile of appreciation. “These are fire mamas, thank you so much.” he said before sitting them to the side. You smile bright at him “You deserve it baby.” you say to him.

Before you could even think, Ony placed the bag aside, reaching for a box from the table in front of him. You raised an eyebrow. "Hold up," Ony interrupted, his voice steady but serious. "I’ve got something for you too." He hands you the blue tiffany box with a bright white bow attached to the corner. “Wait,” you said, a little too quickly. “You didn’t get me anything else, did you? Because I just—"

He hands you the box, much smaller that the one you had given him. You hesitate for a moment as he opened it, revealing a stacked rose gold diamond ring. Your heart lurched in your chest. You blinked at the gift, unsure what to say. The ring was beautiful—perfect—but your immediate thought was that you needed to do better. Your mind raced, running through possible gifts you could return with, how you could top this beautiful piece of jewelry. Your instinct to outdo him kicked in, but then you saw the look on his face. He wasn’t waiting for you to match him.

“Ony…” you started, your voice wavering slightly. “I can’t just... take this. You know I—"

“Yeah, I know,” he said softly, cutting you off, his voice low. “That’s the problem.”

You blinked, confused. “The problem?” He sighed “I’ve been watching for a while and I didn’t know if I was for sure until now.” He lets you sit the box to the side and waits until you turn back towards him. “I noticed it a while back. The way your face contorts when you see me get you something. And before I know it you’ve repaid the favor.” he explains. “I mean we are in a relationship baby. That's what we do.” You attempt to laugh it off.

He leaned forward, his gaze steady as he watched you, his dark eyes soft but intense. “You’re not getting it, are you?” he said quietly, shaking his head. “You think everything has to be a transaction. That if I give you something, you have to give me something back. But that’s not how it works with me. Not with us.” he says “Ony, I’m not…” you speak up but you’re cut off

“Even in our bedroom. It’s like I can’t even please you without you feeling as if you need to outperform me.” He says. Your chest tightens at that statement. You hadn’t realized how much this had affected your relationship. You could see it now the wear and tear it was causing him. “Like don't get me wrong baby I love when we fuck but…sometimes I just want to make love to you.” he says gently.

You looked down at the ring, your fingers nervously tracing the gold, feeling the weight of his words. Your heart skipped a beat as you tried to process them.

“I don’t want you to match me,” Ony continued, his voice gentle but firm. “I’m not giving you this because I expect something in return. I’m giving it to you because I want to. Because I love you. And I don’t need anything back. Not right now, not ever.”

You swallowed hard, his words sinking deep. A lump formed in your throat as you felt the sting of emotion build up inside you. Ony wasn’t playing the game. He was giving you something real. Something without strings attached. Yet you struggled to accept it.

“I...” You found it hard to speak, the words getting caught in your throat. “I don’t know how to accept that. I’ve always had to give something back. I’ve always had to prove...”

“You don’t need to prove anything to me,” he interrupted softly, reaching out to take your hands in his, his touch warm and grounding. “Look,” he said gently. “I don’t know who he is that made you feel like this. Or who they were that told you that this is the only way you can receive love. It’s not.” He says softly ”But you don’t understand. It not okay for you to do for me and I don’t do for you.” You attempt to explain tears burning your eyes. “You can do for me. But do for me because you love me and appreciate me. Not because you feel like you have something to prove.”

“You don’t have to keep playing that game, baby. You’re enough just as you are. I love you, and that’s not conditional. It’s not about what you give me. It’s about what we give each other. And if you can’t accept that, then we need to have a different conversation.”

Your heart ached, a flood of emotions threatening to spill over. You had spent so much of your life protecting yourself, hiding behind the walls of your own expectations, and here was Ony, asking you to tear them down. To let him love you without the conditions you had always set in place.

You took a shaky breath, feeling the warmth of his hands around yours. “I’m scared,” you whispered, your voice trembling.

“I know,” he replied, his voice tender, the understanding in his eyes never wavering. “But you don’t have to be anymore. You don’t have to do anything, or be anyone, to deserve my love. You’ve got me. No strings attached.”

And with those few words, you felt the walls inside you begin to crack. The tears you had been holding back finally spilled over as you let out a shaky breath, feeling the full weight of his words settle in your chest.

He caresses your head gently, kissing away your tears. You don’t move, allowing him to nurture you. Ony pulls you closer to him. Kissing down to your lips. After a few minutes, you pull back. “Your lips are salty.” you giggle. Laughter fills the air as tension leaves both your bodies. Ony picks the box up and opens it, the ring on full display. “Ony…” you start. “This is my vow to you. My vow to love you endlessly if you let me. To give you all of me and more. No questions asked. My promise that you have all of me.” he slips the ring onto your finger. “It's beautiful baby. Thank you.” you lean up and press a kiss against his lips. His kisses you gently, pulling your bottom lip into his mouth.

You whimper in his touch. “Ony.” you speak breathlessly. He hums before kissing you again. Heat rises in your body as his hands trail up your thighs. You whine, wiggling closer to him. Ony pulls back a bit from you. “Wha…” you startle. “I want you to allow me to love you and please you without conditions. Can you do that for me?” He asks. You look into his eyes burning with sincerity and a sense of newfound peace washes over you. “Yes” you answer and you feel yourself being lifted up. You smile as Ony carries you back into your bedroom and places you gently on the bed.

“Just let me worship you baby. Like you deserve.”

He speaks before gently removing your clothes. His eyes rake over your body, taking in the curves of every part of you. “Fuck, you're so fucking pretty.” he said, hands caressing every part of you. His fingertips trace your neck and down to your nipples, circling them gently. Your back lifts from the bed but he presses you back down carefully. “Relax mamas, let me take care of you.” he cooes, continuing his descent down your body. His feather light fingers move down your torso and to your thighs. He draws gentle shapes into your inner thighs, massaging your body to loosen you up. “Breathe deep for me mamas. In and out. Focus on your breathing.” he whispers before moving his head down to your pussy.

His nose grazes against your clit and your body jolts. Ony’s thick hands come back up and flatten you back against the mattress again. “Relax baby. Keep breathing for me.” You will your body to relax as he resumes his actions. Nose grazing against the meaty flesh, he begins to pepper soft kisses along your skin. Tantric breathing methods allow your body to release the tension you held in your muscles as Ony’s lips press against your already wet one. He makes out with your pussy, softly tugging your lips into his mouth and using his tongue to flick your clit ever so often.

“Fuck pa. Right there. Don’t stop.” you whine. Ony’s kisses are slow and deliberate. His pace is steady, tongue dragging from opening to clit, like a cat lapping at it's milk. “You so fucking sweet.” he growls into your pussy, warm breath blowing into your pussy. Your pussy clenches around nothing, causing more of your juice to pour out, landing right on his tongue. “Fuck.” You gasp for air. Your toes shape into ‘C’s as Ony explores your body. Mouth pleasuring you as his hands grip and knead at your flesh. Your juices drip down his chin as he slurps you down, soft moans release from his chest at the sight of your arousal. Ony’s dick hardens as he presses his hips into the mattress to relieve pressure while he honors your body. Your eyes roll back as your head presses back into the pillow, breathing doing little to keep shivers from racing through your body.

“Ony baby, please.” you whine, hips grinding against his face while his tongue fucks your center. Your pussy so wet, the sounds echoing through the room as she sings sweet music to him. Ony was in a trance, getting lost in your essence. The speed of his tongue increases causing sparks to sizzle underneath your skin, alerting your body of the pending release. Your moans get louder as your breathing gets heavy, Your hands reach down to grip the back of his head, hips stuttering against his face. “Ony, Fuck Pa, I’m gonna cum.” You’re borderline groveling as your body begins to convulse, saccharine secretions glaze his beard as you call out his name.

You struggle to catch your breath as Ony finally comes up for hair, lickign you from his lips. “You ready for me baby?” he asks, dick hardened beneath his boxers. “I-...” you breaths still trying to level themselves out, “Are you sure you don't need me to help you baby?” you manage to push out between breaths. “No mamas. Just let me praise you like the muse you are.” his deep praises caress the deepest parts of your heart, mending unspoken wounds with each word. He steps forward, pulling his dick from his boxers and gently slapping your swollen clit with his tip. “You’re my princess, yeah?” he asks softly looking down at the gold mine between your legs. “Y-yes.” you respond to him. “Remember that. Always.” he slips his tip through your entrance. “Onyyyy, fuck baby.” you body clenches, attempting to pull him in deeper. “Tell me you deserve it baby.” his eyes meet yours, brown irises burning with intensity. “I deserve iitttt…” your words drag as he sheaths himself all the way inside you.

“You deserve it all baby girl. You’re so fucking precious to me.” the sweet words contrast with the thickness of his voice as his hips jut forward, strokes deepening and increasing in speed. Only’s hands trail your body, one hand coming up to gentle press against your throat as the other locks your wrists above your head. His body leans closer, strokes shallowing as his hips grind into yours, words of praise whispered against your skin as he caters to every need that your body requests. Both bodies move in tandem as breaths deepen and arousals heighten. You feel your body teetering on the edge of another climax. Only can tell by the way your pussy grips him desperately, craving him.

“Ony, I’m..I’m c-close.” you cry out, body begging for him. “It's okay. Give it to me princess.” he commands. “Bless me with your essence baby. Release it all for me.”

You don't register the sounds being released are yours until your body starts to shake in his arms. Tears fall from the corners of your eyes slipping down your face and around your ears. Bed wet with your tears and your release as your aura explodes from inside of you. Ony’s breaths choppy as he requests, “Can I pour into you princess?” he whispers brokenly into your ear. Words don’t come so you feverishly nod your head in agreement. His growl follows his nut as you feel your pussy warm from his release coating your gummy walls. You both sit, holding each other as you come down from your high.

After a moment, Ony raises up. “All good or one more?” He asks using his thumb to swipe the tears from your eyes. “All good Pa. Thank you.” You let out. Ony rises up and goes into the bathroom. Your eyes flutter open and closed as you let yourself calm down. He returns with a warm towel and works on cleaning you up. He replaces your clothes with a warm t shirt of his and gets fresh blankets for the bed.

You sit and allow it. It feels good being on this side. Your heart feels light as you watch him move around the room getting everything comfortable for you. “Better?” He asks. “Better.” You repeat as a response. “Good. Now take your pretty ass down while I go get you something to eat.”

Ony didn’t ask for anything in return. He gave freely, unconditionally. And maybe, for the first time in your life, you realized you could do the same. He came back in the room with your food and slipped underneath the covers with you, pulling your body in his warmth. You pulled him into an embrace, wrapping your arms around him tightly, as if trying to hold onto the love he was offering you.

“I love you,” you whispered, your voice muffled against his chest.

“I love you too,” Ony murmured, holding you even tighter, as if he never wanted to let go.

In that moment, everything changed. You didn’t need to play the game anymore. You didn’t need to prove anything. You just needed to accept what was right in front of you: a love that was simple, pure, and free from the weight of expectations.

And for the first time in your life, it was enough.

[seafoamreadings]

week of august 4th, 2024

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: while the week's transits are quite earthy at this time, the background is still by and large fire and air. venus into virgo can also be a great time for you to spice up a diet, gym routine, or any form of routine you want to elevate from boring to sacred ritual.

taurus: virgo is where the action is. that's your 5th house of fun! on the one hand, mercury goes retrograde in there this week but on the other hand, your ruler venus graces that region of the sky with her own special sparkly aura. you're just going to have to accept that going with the flow involves getting splashed a little bit. plan accordingly and insist on a good time.

gemini: this week is very "you can do this the easy way or the hard way" vibes. unfortunately it's not always obvious which way is easy. mercury retrograde really muddles things up for you but on the bright side, venus is near by to hopefully soften the blow.

cancerians: if you have a partner, bring them out to some local fun this week and if you don't, hanging around nearby places, no matter how boring your locale may have previously seemed to you, presents good odds for a fun meet-cute scenario or just a really good time.

leo: the new moon in your sign is like a personal new moon in so many ways because the sun is so powerful in your sign. don't let anyone convince you the moon is your enemy or that you should be uncomfortable with lunar themes. use this very magical period to set intentions and level yourself way way up.

virgo: some may try to tell you to dread the ingress of venus into your sign due to her classically debilitated state there. no, she's not at her most comfortable, but that doesn't mean she is suddenly a malefic or that there's anything wrong with you. embrace the beauty of service and the love that is wrapped up in little details.

libra: the week is not comfortable for you per se, but the background astrology is broadly supportive anyway. sometimes support comes in the form of tough love, brutal honesty, or a wrong turn that turns out to be a weird shortcut.

scorpio: friendship weirdness ensues. or if it doesn't naturally occur, you might have to be the catalyst. but stagnation socially is not meant for you at this time. even a little too much comfort isn't always a good thing.

sagittarius: the upcoming week or two or so may be hectic for you. it's not so bad, as you can keep up with any changes of pace. but if you had made plans, don't expect to be sticking to them very much.

capricorn: if you didn't already have plans or projects in the works, it's not a great time to enact them. however, with all that out of the way, things otherwise unfold very nicely for you, especially when it comes to long distance travel or business affairs, and academic endeavors.

aquarius: any esoteric or occult - in any sense - pursuits are at the forefront this week but they are really meant to be kept to yourself, these are not public affairs. lending and borrowing are also to be strongly discouraged at this time.

pisces: mercury retrograde in virgo along with venus's ingress into virgo means for you, the service axis is lit up and so is the self-others axis. don't lose track of your own identity; some people will take advantage of your unconditional love and kindness. even without realizing they are doing so. give love to yourself as well. don't try to pour from an empty cup.

[lonelywolfinthemiddleofnowhere]

So I'm reading HOO again

And I decided to share some insights and observations that I gather as I read. First, let's begin with Book 1: The Lost Hero.

Here we meet the new trio. They are new characters, people we have never seen before.

First we have Jason POV: at this point, in chapter I, Jason is mostly confused, doesn't know where he is or where he came from, he doesn't know anyone and there are two kids stating they are his close friends.

My boy Jason is very stunned throughout the whole first chapter, and he kinds of just goes with the flow cause he doesn't really know what else to do.

Interesting observation #1: His description of the other new characters that will eventually become his actual friends, but atp are just strangers (for him)

He describes them very superficially, what gives the impression that Jason isn't much perceptive and doesn't have the inner will to look closer, so he just focus more on the surface stuff of his "so-called" friends.

His first thought about Piper is that she is "cute". Than, after when he really looks at her he thinks she is "seriously pretty", which is very cute and all but that's about it at first. He notices her eyes immediately.

Than we have Leo's description

He basically calls Leo an Latino Santa Claus Elf, with a very troubling kind of smile and very hyper.

Interesting observation #2: Leo reminds us of someone

Leo's description makes us remember another character that has a very troublemaker smirk and is hyper 👀

Leo and Percy are very different, but at the same time very similar. I really wish we got to see them more together, but alas, things happened. Anyway, we will talk about Leo and Percy more eventually, but I just thought it was funny how similar his first appearance is with Percy's first description of himself.

Interesting observation #3: The beginnings of the very messy Jason/Piper relationship

Jason/Piper are very messy throughout the whole series. They share very cute moments, but very awkward and tense moments too. And if you read all TOA books, you already know it doesn't end well for them, but here in HOO, specifically in TLH, they relationship are all over the place and they are emotionally unsettled with each other. Very angsty.

First we have THREE occasions where Jason physically withdraws from Piper.

1 - First Occasion: right after he wakes up:

2 - Second Occasion: when she is worried and tries to take his hand again:

3 - Third Occasion: when she asks his help to free her from Dylan and he kinda of ignores her to talk to Coach Hedge

In Jason's defense, I wouldn't want a stranger in my personal space all he time too. Especially an intimidatingly beautiful girl like Piper.

But for her, it just seems like her boyfriend avoiding physical contact, and that is never flattering, so Piper is quite worried and a bit hurt. And Jason can see he hurt her but he can't actually do anything about it, can he?

They are so messy u guuuuuys. She had inside jokes with illusion!Jason man

For her, he is behaving very differently from the Jason she knows and loves.

Which takes us to...

Interesting observation #4: Jason is not a delinquent.

I don't know how accurate Hera's Mist Version of Jason was to the real thing, but Jason is definitely not a delinquent. He isn't the kind of boy that frequents the Wilderness School. He gets amazed at the way the Coach shouts at the students, man! My boy is prim and proper, thank you very much.

Interesting observation #5: Jason seeks Leo more than he does Piper

At least in the first chapter. Leo is his promised partner for this first part of the book. They share cute lil friendship moments in the Grand Canyon excursion. He just has an easier time accepting that Leo is his best friend than the fact that Piper is his girlfriend and I find that very funny lol:

Another cute snipped of Jason & Leo's friendship:

Interesting observation #6: Jason has good instincts

Jason has moments in the very first chapter where he proves right off the bat that he has good instinct. For example, when his mind tries to remember the Gods after an afterthought about it:

PS: It happens to Percy too in the next book.

Than we have him feeling he is going to need his magical weapon very soon (spoiler: he does):

He is also shown to be a protector at heart, doesn't like bad kids and his gut tells him to protect Piper when the girls get mean to her:

Golden boy with a golden heart fr fr

And at last but not least

Interesting observation #6: Jason is Hera's "special package"

Throughout the series we will see Hera claim Jason as hers multiple times. The very first time it happens is indirectly, when she communicates to CHB about her "special package", which turns out to be Jason.

Hera & Jason have such a complex and intriguing relationship, we will dive deeper as I read the other chapters.

If you like my insights follow for more!

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

I feel like the idea of “more practical” outfits is kind of overused in ND’s Spop. I mean, come on.

A GIANT cape with wings? Not practical.

Same goes for Glimmer. A body suit, a vest, and a cape? AND wings? It’s a hat on a hat in a hat.

No wonder her wings were so small. Those things were literally stunted.

Frosta wearing this 24/7? Not practical.

This scene. They BOTH should’ve gotten caught on branches and brambles. They’re both wearing long flowing outfits. Not practical.

Exposed tum? Great for looking good. And for stabbing. Not practical. No one living in deserts irl does this. They wear light and breezy robes for breathability and coverage. Shoutout to BFS for also not dressing appropriately.

Cutting holes in SPACE SUITS for hair and tails? Not practical.

Spinnerella’s… Armor? That hardened pink thing that’s only covering her left side and the swirls probably stabbing into her stomach and thigh? Not practical.

These bracers? Either too flimsy seeing how easily they are bent back, or if they worked properly Adora’s wrists can’t bend all the way. Not practical.

This outfit for a guard? Not practical.

Catra, Scorpia, Entrapta…. Hell, DT has TWO. All the windows windows. All the cutouts. I like them. I wear them. I think they look cool. But in this show? Not practical.

agree with all of this!

like,, i know a lot of people are just gonna say “it's a fantasy show, it doesn't have to be realistic!” and i can understand the idea of wanting your characters to have an aesthetically pleasing design but

1. that can be done while giving the characters a practical and secure armor (for example, general amaya from tdp looking hot as fuck while wearing an almost full set of armor)

OR

2. just change the characters into a proper armor when they're fighting. spop only does this ONCE in the entire show, and that was during the battle of brightmoon. and even then, they fucking erased adora's armor so that catra could scratch and injure her. what was the point of the armor then?

and catra doesn't wear an armor EVER, her outfit looks like it's made out of regular cloth but she somehow almost never gets injured while fighting. even when adora slams her into a boulder, she's completely unharmed except for a few scratches. i get that cartoons can't show blood but you can still see that catra isn't injured and exhausted the way adora is.

the main reason i have a gripe with this is because of all the fans saying that the original she-ra wasn't realistic enough. either leave the OG alone and just accept that not everything is perfect or realistic in fiction, or criticize spop the same way you criticize the original. you can't have double standards here.

[allied-mastercunt]

Heyy, if you are still writing can I get some kiss kiss hcs or ficlets or whatever with ellen, gorrister and nimdok please?

I love the yandere am and I'd love to see more of your writing

i'm very much still writing, just happened to make the blog around the time my work got really busy-

Kisses with Ellen, Gorrister and Nimdok

Ellen (book leaning)

Her kisses are tired and in a way. Sad.

After all, she sacrifices for the others, letting them use her body in hopes to keep them somewhat sane.

She needs you to be soft. Kind. To hold her, to assure her it's okay.

She really likes it when you kiss her face. She likes the soft, intimate promises it brings. It's the closest she gets to feeling at peace.

Ellen's favorite kisses to receive are the ones on top of her head. It makes her feel protected.

She often kisses your cheek as she holds onto you while sitting down, your arms around each other.

Ellen craves safety. She craves feeling loved. She misses feeling loved.

Gorrister (book leaning)

Gorrister's kisses have changed over the years.

In the beginning, back when it all started, he was passionate and protective, holding you tightly as he kissed you.

But now, after all those years, he barely kisses you. AM killed his passion, changing the man completely.

He just... stopped caring, went with the flow. This was not the man you knew, not the activist who would speak up at protests, trying to make the world a better place.

Sometimes, very rarely, but sometimes you manage to see a spark of his old passion when you pull him in for a kiss.

For a brief moment, you feel the same, secure grip he had on your thigh.

But then he goes back to his cruel apathy.

It's heartbreaking, but you have hope.

Nimdok

Nimdok is an old man. He's an old man with regrets and a dark past.

He's not a very kissy person. He's not a very affectionate person.

He accepts your kisses, but very rarely returns them.

The few times he does kiss you, it's almost never your lips.

Usually it's your forehead or the crown of your head.

He lets you kiss his cheek, it's about as close to his mouth as you can get.

He's much more accepting of leaning against each other or holding hands.

Kisses, though? Those aren't really his thing.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Hajime Sugoroku Headcanons

He can speak and write English at more than a conversational level, but less than fully fluent. There are words, particularly regional colloquialisms or slang, that he just won’t know or understand and he’ll need to have them patiently explained to him. Because of his accent, he has a hard time saying particular words, especially ones that have two consonants right next to each other, like psych.

However, both his writing in Japanese and English is very beautiful to look at. He has a surprising talent at calligraphy.

Going along with that, his signature is smooth, flowing, and pleasant to look at in English.

He’s been shaving his head since he was in his teens. He really doesn’t like his hair – it’s really thick, it won’t behave and goes every which way, it’s very coarse and straw-like in its texture. It’s a massive headache for him to maintain and if it gets at all long, it starts giving him headaches. He finds it easier to just shave it off and honestly, he thinks he looks good without hair. When his hair does grow in, it’s blonde.

He’s always had a horrible temper since he was a kid and he seemed almost supernaturally strong even back when he was a kid. His mother would get him to lift the furniture for her when she was vacuuming and Hajime, while he would complain, could do it, even for things like couches or heavy television sets.

 The Sugoroku parents are alive. It’s just that, with their children grown up, they decided they could finally take time just to themselves, to both rekindle their relationship and pursue their dreams of travelling. They’re currently somewhere in Brazil, part of their plan to visit each and every country.

He was considered a weird one in high school because, while he had a lot of respect for the rules and cared about the honor of his school, actively participated in school activities and committees, he also had that nasty temper and had no problem with fighting others, making others view him as a little bit of a delinquent.

Definitely has GERD and probably a bleeding ulcer but, since he refuses to go to the doctor for his issues and just chalks them up to stress, he doesn’t get the help he needs for it. They’ll be caught at the next mandatory yearly check-up for the guards.

His biggest fear when he becomes on the elderly side is having to get yearly prostate exams.

While Samon does annoy him greatly and he does have issues with the man, he respects Samon on some level too.

Hajime considers Shiro as the inmate that every other inmate in his building should look up to – the one who became rehabilitated and went on to be of use to the world.

He imposes his insane standards and expectations for perfectionism on other people in some regards, but nowhere near the amount he puts them on himself. He will not be able to accept a compliment or answer what he did well in a situation if he finds even one sizeable mistake.

He genuinely finds paperwork calming.

While Yamato and Seitarou are kind of weird, he considers himself lucky in the people he has working under him anytime that he goes to other buildings. After all, he could have been stuck with someone like Inori.

He doesn’t just stick to one coffee order but changes it up. As long as he can still taste the coffee flavour, he’s willing to experiment with it.

On top of motorcycles, he does like classic cars. Gone in 60 Seconds is one of his favourite movies not just because he’s a closet Nicholas Cage fan but because of all the cars.

He likes shochu and it’ll be his choice for alcohol more often than not.

[demontobee]

Parallels between Lord Jim and Good Omens (2)

I have rewatched GO2 at least 10 times now (still counting, obvsly), and every time I notice new easter eggs that emerge from the massive web of intertextuality that Neil Gaiman created for us here.

So today, I wanted to focus on the way Aziraphale came up with the “undercover” name “Jim” for Gabriel. He read it on the spine of a book: Lord Jim.

That book was written by Joseph Conrad (a Polish-British writer with dubious ideas about colonialism) and published in 1900. The plot basically follows the life of a young idealistic seaman called Jim who has to defend himself in a trial that concerns a sinking ship which he and other members of the crew abandoned in a storm, leaving it and the helpless passengers to their fate. The ship did not sink in the end, and he was the only member of the crew who was held accountable for his deeds by stripping him off his naval certificate. The trial is where he meets the narrator of the story, Marlow, who is strangely intrigued by the young man, who seems to be engulfed by guilt and shame over his morally wrong decision to leave the boat. The narrator tries to help Jim to his feet and lands him a job as a post manager at some remote colonial outpost. There he becomes a hero by capturing a local bandit. Later he falls victim to a scheme against him, and a pirate raids a neighbouring community and kills the son of their chief, Jim’s close friend. Jim then goes there, and the chief shoots him as a revenge for his son.

I mean, the most obvious parallel is that Gabriel gets named after Jim. He, too, abandoned his ship (Heaven; and the question here is, did he know it might be a sinking ship as well?) and was put on trial and lost his position as archangel before he came to Aziraphale for help. But that’s not all there is to it.

Let us start with the formal (concerning style and structure) aspects:

narrative structure:

“Marlow has complete control over the story … and he exercises his power in increasingly complicated ways. Time is broken up: in a single paragraph of narration, Marlow will reference the past, the present, and the future. By manipulating the flow of the narrative, Marlow is able to create juxtapositions and contrasts that highlight particular aspects of the story. He is a master at withholding information …” (Source: Sparknotes)

As I have already discussed in another post, this is more or less how narrative structure works in GO, too (S2 maybe more than S1, but this still applies to both). We get minisodes from the past that directly reference and juxtapose situations in the story that takes place in the present. Take, for example, the Job minisode, which gives us information about the development of Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship, but we also see how devastating and hard it was for Aziraphale to realise that sometimes he had to lie (or do something considered wrong in heaven) to do the morally right thing. This sequence is juxtaposed with the relative ease he exhibits in the present day when he has to lie to heaven on a regular basis (in this case, about the miracle and hiding Gabriel, which is kind of a big lie, too). The show also plays with our understanding and expectations of how time works, as S2 starts with a scene that takes place “before the beginning,” which undermines dramatic structure as it has been known and accepted since Aristotle. It is also interesting to note that in S1, we have a strong sense of an almighty narrator, since god herself is narrating the whole time and she sure lets us know that she is playing her own ineffable game here. In S2, however, we don’t have a clear narrative voice. This might make it seem like the narration is more neutral or less meddled with, but in reality, it just makes things even less reliable and situations more ambiguous, as we have no single voice to interpret them for us. Someone is definitely “withholding information” here, and I guess we’ll have to wait for S3 to get the full picture.

language/style:

“Marlow constantly ponders the "message"--the meaning of Jim's story. His language is dense with terms like "inscrutable" and "inexplicable," words that denote imprecision and indecipherability, but which also possess a certain quality of uncertainty in themselves, as words. He struggles to name things, and is often reduced to wondering if there even is a meaning to Jim's story and his fascination with it. Sometimes he concludes that the meaning is an "enigma"; sometimes he decides there is no meaning to be found at all. Words are constantly being contested in this novel; at least three major episodes center around the misinterpretation of a single spoken word.” (Source: Sparknotes)

I mean, “inscrutable” and “inexplicable”? Why not just call it “ineffable”? I also love how Crowley seems to wonder about the meaning of things (especially the distinction between “good” and “bad”), as one of the first things we here him say in S2 is something like: “Do you ever ask yourself what’s the point. I mean angels, demons, heaven, hell … it all seems a bit … point … less.” And obviously, the whole show is full of misinterpretations of words (e.g., “what does your exactly mean, exactly? I feel like my exactly and your exactly are different exactlies”), or, as we are all painfully aware, a whole way of communicating with one another (“aim for my mouth, but shoot past my ear”).

Now for some similarities concerning informal (aka content) aspects:

moral balance and “naïve heroism”:

“Even more tortured is the analysis of idealism and heroism that lies at the center of Lord Jim. Jim is a young man who enters the world motivated primarily by fantasies of daring and noble deeds lifted from cheap novels. His ideals break down, however, in the face of real danger; they are, in fact, untenable when applied to any form of reality.” (Source: Sparnotes)

That sounds like both Crowley and Aziraphale in a way. They both set out as naïve idealists, and both of them learn (Crowley earlier and faster that Aziraphale) that their (heavenly) ideals do not hold in the complex reality of life. A lot of what we see in S2 is Aziraphale coming to terms with accepting that doing the “right thing” on earth often involves breaking his heavenly rules and allowing for “shades of grey.”

struggling to comprehend own identity and moral consequences of own actions:

Both the narrator, Marlow, and the protagonist of his tale, Jim, are trying to figure out their identity. Marlow seems to tell the story mainly to kind of make sense of identity itself but also of him personally, while Jim tries to make amends for his morally wrong behaviour and tries to manifest his identity (as a hero) through action.

In GO2, we have a lot of identity struggles and questions of “who am I?”: Jim the amnesiac angel is the most blatantly obvious case, but we also have Aziraphale negotiating his identity constantly, e.g., in the Job episode when he asks “Then what am I?” after having lied to heaven for the first time . And I mean Crowley is just on another level of liminal identity entirely, isn’t he?

As a bonus (and I am probably going overboard here, but well), this is the description of Jim’s death:

“Then with his hand over his lips he fell forward, dead.”

  The imagery reminds me of something…ahhh yes:

Feel free to add your thoughts in the tags or comments!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I sent my mother articles about murders unprompted to manhandle her into feeling basic sympathy?

TW mentions of transphobia.

What it says on the tin. My (20NB) mom (55F) is transphobic, the type that just thinks trans people are “ruining their bodies” and shouldn’t “expose kids to their agenda” and has routinely told me it goes against her religious beliefs. She’s going down the alt right pipeline and it’s been scary to watch, but she’s not so far that she would advocate for any human beings to be targets of violence.

She’s a conservative transphobe in ideology, but in the past she’s also provided a home for closeted trans women I’m friends with who have discriminatory parents, done their makeup, and made them feel accepted when no parental figures in their lives would. While she is not exactly supportive of my transition, she does respect my bodily autonomy and has made efforts to gender me correctly and call me her son. She’s made efforts to educate herself in some ways, but the issue is she’s being bombarded with a constant flow of transphobic misinformation and horrifically biased journalism because of algorithms and echo chambers, as well as the people she surrounds herself with. She’s vented to me before that she hates how her friends speak about my transition, and how refreshing it’s been to make new friends who are supportive of me. I don’t know how I feel about this.

All this is to say she has absolutely awful beliefs, but she treats my trans loved ones well and has openly defended us when it comes down to it, and I honestly don’t believe she’s beyond redemption or growth as a person if i get to her before my mother is gone. It’s like seeing snippets of the supportive mother that could have been and used to be, but the second we talk politics it shatters. All this is just background.

One thing that endlessly pisses me off is that she’s vocalized doubt that anyone actually faces violence or homelessness for being trans, certainly because literally none of the news media she consumes reports on it. I think it could genuinely change the way she views things at least to some degree if every day I sent her an article about an anti-trans hatecrime to force her to wake up to reality. Even if it doesn’t change her opinions, honestly, it’d absolutely upset her and tbh as someone advocating for policies that get people killed, it’s kind of warranted to make her see what she’s advocating for, and more importantly, the America her political party is moving towards. Either she wakes up or she feels like shit about the bleak reality I have to face daily. I see this as a win-win scenario.

Where I might be the asshole is that I’m going to be bombarding her (someone who is very sensitive and cries easily) with horribly triggering content daily, and also it does make me feel a bit icky to think that I might be using real peoples’ suffering and deaths to try to change her opinion or make her feel guilty.

What are these acronyms?

[tookishcombeferre]

So, I know I made a really long and super rambly post about the episode the "Sorcerer's Secret." But, I am not done because I want to bring together the threads of a few posts I've made before.

One of the things, I find, as someone steeped in the show almost daily with my kid like a really, really strong tea, is that the characters in the show are very human. Despite living in a high fantasy setting, the emotions they have are very real.

This is true of like ... ALL the characters. They're all incredibly real people. And, I LOVE THAT! It's so lovely. It feels super old school 90s cartoon-like because of that. There really aren't any totally flat major characters. Which, is something I only ever really see in Bluey and Sesame Street as far as more "modern" programming goes. (And, let's face it, Sesame Street is just a super old school thing that has kept running into the modern era.)

That out of the way, I think it's super important to recognize a few things.

Human brains are not meant to operate in isolation. And, specifically, what I love about Season 2 is *a lot* of characters who were previously isolated coming out of isolation to find acceptance and start to trust more deeply. We see this in Vivian in the "Sorcerer's Secret" episode as she learns to trust her ability. We see Cedric actually *enjoying* things - genuinely - for once! We see Baileywick opening up about things that are personal to him beyond just his work. Trust is being built between Sofia and her friends/ mentors, and she's the bridge between them and he friends.

However, one of the things I really like, specifically with Cedric's arc, is that it ebbs and flows. He is, at times, self-interested. But, over time, as trust is built, that starts to dissipate more and more. He becomes more genuine. He's freer with his emotions going into Season 3. He's a little less uptight. He's a little less self-centered. He's a little more loving.

I can imagine, based on Cedric's experiences, that trusting anyone would be difficult. It's much easier to create distance when hurt has been felt for a long time. And, yet, time and time again we see him breaking down the barriers of his heart to let people in.

I love "Sidekick Clio" as well. It's a great episode. It sends me into peels of laughter every time I watch it. But, I also think is shows just how much Cedric wants to *be wanted.* And, for a while, the games, the pranks, the joys of creating the effects for the play provide him that. Yet, you can see James light up in that episode as well. There's a connection there. Something is being built there. The walls are slowly coming down.

And, yes, Cedric still struggles with wanting to take over the Kingdom. He does put active roadblocks in the way of the characters in certain episodes as the antagonist right up until his redemption. But, it leads to a really beautiful moment of writing and dilemma. It leads to an important discussion of "Am I good? Am I crazy? Am I bad? Or has life left me some kind of mix of all three that I must sort through, understand, and then decide how to act on?"

Cedric has been led to this juncture by the love he has for his apprentice and this amazing person who has shown him nothing but kindness EVEN when he has been lousy. But, at the end of the day, the question he's faced with is "Am. I. Evil?"

And, the answer is no.

But, in order to get to that oh so satisfying conclusion, we have to build into it. We have to see the trust develop. We have to see the walls of the tower come down brick by brick. And, sometimes that's messy, BUT it doesn't make the things he taught Sofia any less real, or the love he has for her any less valid when he shows it.

It just makes Cedric messy. It shows that trust is a process. It shows that human relationships are complicated. But, the love we feel as people who are healing and learning to build trust is very real. The apologies we make when we're on the other side of our hurt count. And, we can all find paths to forgiveness and atonement through communication and service. (The Valjean metaphor lives on.)

My final thought I want to wrap up with is this.

In putting all the lifting of this relationship on Sofia, we run into three problems.

The first is losing her as child. Part of what helps Cedric is just that Sofia exists. He gets to watch her succeed, have hope, and be a kid. He gets to see her have some of what he, likely, wishes he had but, due to the Incident, didn't get to have.

How much more willing would Cedric be to protect her childhood because he didn't get one? How insensced would he be/ is he over how Sofia has been treated by the Protectors because of this?

(Cedric has absolutely told off the Amulet. 1,000/10 he has yelled at it for making her do too much.)

Cedric understands Sofia. He knows what she could lose, and has lost, because he lost it. I think that's a profound part of his dilemma between his goodness and his villainy.

The second thing is focusing solely on how "Sofia fixes" or "heals" Cedric is that it detracts from the other meaningful moments on Cedric's journey. You mean to tell me that seeing Vivian succeed at disappearing bubbles or helping Clio literally fly weren't also meaningful to him? Or, that his growing relationship with James wouldn't have also reminded him of himself? Or, the depth of a relationship he seems to have with Calista, and that that love wasn't also important to his transformation? Or, even as Cedric himself seems to imply in his speech on DotS, that his desire to HAVE a relationship with his sister and Roland again that doesn't involve being nitpicked wasn't fundamental to his redemption arc?

If Cedric lets evil win? He doesn't have hope of reconnection with the people he wants most to rekindle relationships with or to continue to be in the lives of those he cares about most. He can't be the world's best uncle from exile.

The final thing is that, as I mentioned in a past post, it really detracts from Cedric as accepting the love he is given and working to trust. I think, without recognizing the difficulty of that, we lose a fundamental part of his character and why he's so compelling. He's experienced a lot of hurt and a lot of isolation, and that takes TIME to heal from. Somehow, despite this, he finds good in things and tries to grow it. And, we see that occur more and more instead of less and less as the seasons go on. This culminates beautifully into DotS and "In Cedric We Trust."

Cedric has let himself return to who he was before he was hurt. Because, there is no way the kid who just wanted to calm his sister down and make her look cool was evil in his heart of hearts. So, instead, Cedric has learned to see himself for who he is ... as good. To use a quote that, at least one other person will probably get a little chuckle from, "the evil has been defeated" and, even when it seemed all hope was gone, hope and goodness found a way in anyway.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. If any of this sounds incoherent, I have some kind of mystery virus and am not feeling all that well. So, pardon my crazed ramblings.

[alliiepaz]

One reason I will forever love Aloy is because even though she's learned the scientific and therefore "real" reason behind the way their world works, she never really tries to discredit the way one tribe or another talks or believed things.

She meets Zo and although Zo is kind of hostile to this newcomer who isn't following their directions for her to rest and heal and immediately refers to one of their landgods as an it, Aloy respects that to the Utaru "Re" is a "she" and that she is their landgod and immediately offers to help put Re at ease by finding what's wrong with her her and fixing it.

She just goes with the flow no matter who she meets, accepts the way this new tribe thinks, and continues on in her adventures while being respectful of the culture in the other tribes, including the Nora despite growing up an outcast.

I love the little red haired bitch so much.

[icaruslamenting]

⌗ !! ꒰ 31 days of helpol ꒱ 🏛️

(so sorry for missing the other days!! i’ve been spending lots of time with my family and we’ve finally [after five months of issues] started moving into our house. it’s been such a wave of relief that there isn’t any more issues, so all that’s left is to get moved in and wait for a few other things to get finished up)

day twenty-five - “what was the most surprising thing you’ve learnt about hellenic polytheism or your deities?”

how flexible this religion is. like in many religions (like basically every one with some form of holy text that they follow), there’s rules and strict things that you have to follow. a lot of time, followers of said religion will also bring those words to an extreme. “do this or this god won’t love you” “don’t do that or you’ll suffer eternally” things like that. i’ve seen none of that with hellenic polytheism. i mean, sure, the occasional bad person pops up every once in a while, but that’s not what the religion has been. i’ve felt more accepted than ever since, which i never expected lol

day twenty-six - “do you celebrate any festivals? which ones or why not?”

i’m trying to?? but i don’t really know what festivals there are (i’ve only just now started learning about them)

day twenty-seven - “share a fun fact about one or more of your deities which you think is underrated or not well-known”

i don’t have any facts that come to mind😭 my mind’s just blank right now

day twenty-eight - “what is your favorite myth?”

ICARUS. ANYTHING ABOUT ICARUS, ANY RETELLING, ANY FORM OF RETELLING (story, poem, painting, etc…), ANYTHING. i loveee the story of icarus. i’ve even wondered before if hero worship is possible for icarus (is it?) so i can show how cool and amazing i think he is

day twenty-nine - “what is an aspect of your deities you really appreciate?”

their unconditional love. i am yet to hear about a deity who doesn’t unconditionally love their devotee/the person who worships them (and this goes for every deity)

day thirty - “do you have a visual interpretation of your deities? is this different from usual depictions you see of them?”

for Lord Apollo, i usually imagine him with tanned skin, blond long hair, the usual sort of depiction of him that you’ll see a lot from people. like with how i see all gods, i don’t imagine him as having any irises. i feel like eyes are what truly makes something human, so the lack of that shows that they aren’t human. but that’s just a personal thought!!

for Lady Aphrodite, i can never keep a steady depiction of her in my mind. seriously. there is one image of her i have in my mind that repeats though. so, if you’ve watched arcane, you know how viktor and jayce and sky looked in that cosmic realm sort of thing?? imagine that but it’s not like she has a human face or hair like how they did in the show. everything is like whatever that other stuff is, the weird cosmic bodysuit (please tell me this is making sense🙏). i imagine that, her body type and facial features that’s typically seen in statues of her, and everything is carved out like a statue. her hair is long (like going down to her feet kind of long), it’s wavy, and is constantly moving like a flowing waterfall. the only thing that’s different about any of her appearance and any of the colors are her eyes which are pure white. and that’s about all i got for an image of her.

for Lord Hermes, the designs for him from epic the musical. specifically the one by wolfythewitch. where his eyes are covered by his helmet (following the theme of the whole gods and eyes thing), i imagine him with wings both on his feet and his helmet, light brown curly hair, and i also kind of imagine him with slightly pointed ears?? i dunno, i always associate him with puck from a midsummer nights dream, so a mischievous sprite with sort of fairy/elf-like feature but in the most gorgeous way possible.

for Lord Dionysus, much like Lord Apollo, the typical depiction of him. black wavy hair, leopard print and purple everything, hints of wine red in his clothes, sort of maximalist clothes?? but somehow in an ancient greek way?? like combining the fashion of ancient greece and modern times. i do imagine him with darker tanned skin though, which i see sometimes in art. and of course, the whole no irises/eyes thing

day thirty-one - “share a positive experience you’ve had this month/year with one or more of your deities?”

Lord Apollo - when he comforted me while i was crying, then later the sun was shining as it rained (which is my favorite type of weather)

Lady Aphrodite - when after taking a break for months, i prayed to her for the first time, and the next day i looked in the mirror and i felt so pretty. looking back on the selfies i took at the time, i still think i was absolutely drop-dead gorgeous

Lord Hermes - when i wanted to talk to Lady Aphrodite because i was feeling insecure, but he wouldn’t let me use my pendulum to talk to her and kept refusing to let me put the pendulum down until i talked with him. so i talked with him instead and he helped me out <33

Lord Dionysus - when he helped me memorize my whole script a week before my play. a week. mind you, i had maybe three lines memorized overall, and he helped me remember all 42 lines and 3 monologues. i know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but it was shakespeare😭 i was struggling a lot. but i got multiple compliments after the play, and a little girl told me i was her favorite character <3 never forgetting that feeling

[alyssas-personal-diary]

wagon wheel watusi

summary: cas would do anything to have his husband back. even if dean isn’t totally dean.

wasn’t gonna drink today but about to lose porn in florida 💔 ANYWAYS here’s some destiel to appease the masses with a whisper of wincest and a rumor of sastiel if you shut your eyes hard enough. if this one shot seems ooc or not at all canon, it probably is. don’t tell me i don’t wanna know. also the title of this has nothing to do with the one shot, i just thought it was silly ❤️

It was all so sudden. You imagined that’s how it was for Dean. Your poor husband. Everytime you closed your eyes, you saw that image.

Saw Dean lying in the middle of the field, his head bashed into pieces. You swore bits and pieces of his skull weren’t here. It looked like strawberry syrup leaking from the missing hole in his head. You didn’t want to eat, everything reminded you of him, down to the tiniest speck of red, the slight flash of crimson and you were back in that damned field.

You wondered how it went down. This town wasn’t his home, never was and never will be. You wondered if it was the townspeople, wondered what they said to him. They weren’t the most accepting. You imagined him in that field alone, the last thing he sees before he goes is the edge of the bat before it struck his head. You wondered what they called him, wondered if they threw a mixture of slurs and profanities his way before blowing his head in and fleeing.

You wondered if it was all an act, how all the townspeople grieved with you, how they offered their support. They never really liked Dean, never supported the relationship between you two, between Man and Man. Maybe it was a ploy, a well detailed lie. Just like how the police report was a fib. No one honestly cared for Dean. You guessed it was all for you, to give you some type of closure. But there really was no acceptable closure after seeing your husband missing half his head, his brains spilling out like some mixed stew.

Sam was the first one to bring this up to you. You never really knew the woman. Everyone saw her as an outsider, even if she was born here. Witch, they accused. Witchcraft, they screamed. But you trusted Sam, your brother-in-law, your own lover. Sam had said he tried it on his own, said it was real, something he’d study and hunt if Dean was still by his side. (You wondered for a moment what Sam had done with this new Dean. You knew of them, anyone in a five mile radius knew of them.)

Well, whatever it was, it worked. It worked and it didn’t really matter what that woman was, whether she really was a witch. Because you had your Dean back and his head was back together in all its glory.

Not really Dean though. You knew that. You quite literally saw him with a gaping hole in his head, a mix of brain matter and blood staining the dirt dark. You saw him missing half his face, saw the crimson flowing like some sick twisted river.

But it was the closest thing you had to him and all you wanted was one last conversation with him, one last conversation. That’s all you needed. Just.. one conversation with him.

“Dean..?”

“Yeah?”

No. Too cold. Too blunt. It wasn’t him. That woman didn’t know him like you did, how Sam did. He wasn’t violent or mean. He was sweet and kind and he made home cooked meals and he made you soup when you got sick and ran you a bath after a long day. No. No, this couldn’t be him. It wasn’t real enough.

“Are you real?”

“Of course I’m real dumbass. Come touch me.”

He was too serious, too sarcastic. It sounded like he meant it when muttered the word dumbass. It wasn’t teasing or playful. It was mean. It was plain mean. Of course, you didn’t expect an exact copy. But you didn’t know this man. You could see your husband, maybe even hear him. But this wasn’t him and you honestly felt like you were going crazy.

“I don’t want to touch you.”

“Well why don’t you want to touch your husband?”

“You aren’t my husband.”

“You’re so goddamn funny. Always were a jokester, weren’t you? Of course I’m your husband.”

“You aren’t Dean.”

“You wanna believe it anyways. You will believe it anyways.”

Whatever this was, whatever that woman conjured up, it wasn’t your husband. It took his image, took his voice, but it couldn’t take Simon’s personality. It wasn’t real enough. It was right though. You would believe it anyways, hold on to the hope you are talking to the real Simon right now.

“I don’t wanna talk anymore. You aren’t Dean. How do I leave?”

“You wanna leave now? Why? C’mon, we’ve barely even got to speak.”

“I wanna go. Tell me how to go.”

“I’ll do you one better. I’ll show you.”

It was goddamn instant, just how you imagined it. A quick blunt hit to the head and he was out. It didn’t stop there though, no, of course it didn’t. You found him without half his face, how could it stop at one hit? You shut your eyes as you listened but all you could imagine was Dean in the field alone, getting beat over and over, blunged to death with a goddamn bat. It was fast, too fast, over before you knew it.

You were a fool. You were a fool and you played the joke. Some sick joke. You just wanted closure. All you wanted was one last talk, a sense of normalcy. You figured you’d never sense normalcy again. It was one thing to see the aftermath, it was a whole other thing to hear it all, to have it repeat for some woman’s sick enjoyment. You imagined you were in some sick play, like some lab pony. Did Sam know?

“FUCK!”

There was no leaving. This was your fate. Watching your husband getting murdered over and over again, going through the same song and dance. 

You got what you wished for and you payed for it too.

i hate this ending . soz hope u enjoyed anyways ❤️

[ficbrish]

Part of my Kinktober 2023 one shot collection

"You were my first."

[Ao3] | [Tumblr]

cw: Blood, cptsd, self-hate, alcohol

Tav Vistri, Act I, right after Bite Night

Big moment, that following morning was. Pleasantly enough, none of the others tried to drive a stake through Astarion’s heart upon learning his true nature. Nor did Vistri suddenly change her mind and call for a mob. She even stood up for him. Showed a suspicious amount of understanding.

But that’s how she’d always survived.

A bit of kindness tinged with charm, and lying back, goes a long way.

Astarion seemed the happiest that Vistri had ever seen him. Although, to be fair, they’d journeyed together less than a tenday, and not under the most pleasant circumstances. She’d seen him smile, but not like that. Not like the way he’d been smiling since—

His lips on her neck…

“Augh!” Vistri exclaimed, walking unannounced into Shadowheart’s tent, “I feel like a ripe pile of shit!”

“Were you raised in a barn?!” Shadowheart cried, startled and put out by her new friend’s sudden appearance.

“No, the Underdark—But that’s not important right now,” Vistri answered, too obsessed at the moment to exchange a bit of back and forth, “We don’t have time for an ethics debate.”

“An ethics debate? You just barged into my tent!”

“Because I needed to talk to you!” she explained, as if that answered everything sufficiently.

“I swear, if you hadn’t saved my life…”

“I know, I know! I’m insufferable. Do you have wine?”

“It is just passed sunrise.”

“Yes, and I’m very thirsty.”

Somehow, Shadowheart’s exasperated refusal to indulge her self-destructive habits prompted Vistri to spill everything. How she never felt anything.

How much she felt last night.

“You like the vampire?”

Vistri looked as if Shadow had just spat in her face, and protested, “I do not!”

While she had her crisis at Shadowheart, Astarion was literally skipping through the woods. He couldn’t remember a day where he felt better than he did this morning. With her blood flowing through him, giving back life.

Was this what it felt like to be Vistri? he found himself musing, watching the dapple of shadows dance across his hands as the sunlight trickled through the trees.

Which was a very ironic conclusion for him to draw, considering that she was just now sobbing wildly on Shadowheart’s awkward shoulder.

But Vistri never let him inside her mind despite pushing into his, not after that first initial taste; when they met on the ground in his arms, while his blade pressed into her. Too much was happening then for Astarion to really notice anything, and he only felt a hint of someone else before she instinctually shut her mind off from his. They’d shared a memory, but it was like the directions of a play read aloud, not the feelings of an actor emoted through their eyes.

It piqued his curiosity now that he spent a little time in her company. Had a taste of her.

And like a cat discovering a closed door, he was suddenly possessed by the need to pry it open.

Turns out, things were working out for Astarion better than he could have ever imagined. He could get used to his luck turning around like this. Not only did the rest of his companions accept that he was a vampire without much complaint, Vistri offered to let him feed again.

Before he accepted, it was important for Astarion to make clear that nothing would ever happen again without her say so. He could be better than Cazador ever was—wanted to be better.

“I shall wait patiently until you suggest we… dine together.”

Vistri could feel heat rising in her face. Cheesy little comments of his like that previously grated on her nerves, and now she wanted to giggle.

What the fuck was wrong with her? Did she really want him? Could she really… imagine that as a possibility?

“But until then: No more late-night surprises, you have my word on that,” he promised. Rather sincerely, actually.

It was probably due to some vampiric thrall she must be under, but Vistri decided to trust his words. Every night could be its own test, and a sick part of her hoped he’d break his vow. That he’d prove it was all good to be true; show her who she really was. Prove that neither of them were worth it.

“Thank you,” she said, biting her lip, “And if you don’t mind, I have a vow of my own to exchange.”

“Oh?”

“Pushing into your mind… I wasn’t sure if you were going to kill me, but in finding out, I also… That was for you to save or tell. Not for me to find out. Not like that. I swear I’ll never do it again. Not without asking first.”

Astarion looked a bit devastated; shook it off with a smirk, and then said, “We’re even.”

Vistri was taken aback, “Even?”

“I've only tried to stab you when we first met, and bite you while you’ve slept. A little wriggling around with my mind worm… Well, you’re not better than me after all! In fact, you’re just like me.”

She smiled and looked at her feet, “I wouldn’t go as far as that.”

Even the teasing mention of closeness was too much for Vistri to endure, and she hated him for it.

So of course she didn’t want to appear too eager! She waited a whole other day before proposing another late-night snack. Astarion took it to be a reward for his good behavior; not coming back for seconds before he was asked.

The anticipation ate at them even worse after they agreed it would happen that night, and it itched at them all day. Unfortunately, Astarion was a bit of a stress-eater, and quite literally bit off more than he could chew with a large bear that evening before they met up. Draining it just barely replaced what he'd lost, which left him punch drunk and dizzy from his own bloodlessness. Their fun was put off for another night.

Much to the vexation of both.

He didn’t want to wake her that second time, not because he didn’t want her to be present, but because he was doing his best not to be an inconvenience. Vistri wasn’t offended either; he was so obviously sure he was doing her a favor. Oh, but she wanted to be awake for it! Not asleep, not in trance, but there feeling his—

Shit. Bad thoughts! No, no, no.

It was nothing. He meant nothing. She was nothing but a source of sustenance. Vistri had a purpose, and that was that.

She was food.

But then… So was that bandit earlier. Now he was food. Astarion drunk him dry with little grace. Ripped his screaming throat from out of his neck, and the spray went everywhere! Tonight he would gently creep up to her in the dark, at her behest, and take only a little while trying his best not to cause her to stir. It was quite the contrast.

That bandit was a meal. Vistri was a treat.

Then what was this even all for?

Vistri shooed away her curiosity before it meant she had to answer that question herself.

Waiting impatiently in her bedroll, eyes shut tight, Vistri could feel her heart pounding as if it was berating her for their present circumstances.

Oh, hush! she thought, arguing back.

This wasn’t her best performance, pretending to be in the midst of trance as she was. Her focus was elsewhere, searching for his presence through her pores. Her mind froze when Astarion finally began to approach. Even without seeing, she knew he was there; could feel his proximity before he touched her. The very air changed around him, like a storm cloud. Her senses filled with something herbal and sweet, then brandy and heat as his chest crept over hers.

She held her breath, even though deep breathing was the telltale sign of trance. Vistri thought he caught her, sensing him pause for a moment. Then she reasoned she was probably making that up.

But she didn’t. He did pause. Not because he noticed she wasn’t breathing, but because he still wasn’t quite sure this was all really happening. Not just some mad trick of the tadpole.

He swallowed and let himself lean carefully down, until his body pressed into hers. He could feel her heart beating frantically, but in his distraction, it didn’t give her away. Astarion just took it as a sign she was alive. That this really was all real.

His lips met her neck before his fangs. Vistri held back a shiver, taking a deep breath against it. She stifled a moan as one hummed quietly in Astarion’s throat. She could feel it vibrate on hers, neck to neck. Feel her life and power flow into him and through him. Power. Pleasure.

It was palpable.

Astarion’s tongue moved against her skin, swallowing her.

She even lost herself for a moment. As her mind flew blissfully away, her fingers, those sluts, found their way up into his curls.

Her hands grasped the sides of his head. Vistri wasn’t trying to push him away, she just needed to brace herself against the loss of gravity. Astarion didn’t even notice at first. It just felt like part of the whole thing. It was her sudden movement as she jerked them back that brought his attention to her wakefulness.

“Are you not in your trance?” he asked in the crook of her neck.

“No,” she answered with her eyes still closed, “Do you want me to be?”

She was truly the most curious thing to him. Was she pretending to be in a trance to please him? While allowing him to drink from her? Who does that? Astarion smirked, shaking his head, “I thought you’d prefer…”

Vistri opened her eyes and looked into his. She’d been warned her whole life about elves with red eyes.

“No, I—” she blushed, “I mean, it’s quite fun. Is it not?”

“It is?”

Curiouser and curiouser.

She nodded.

“Well, that’s nice to hear.”

“Do you want to-?” Vistri gestured to her neck.

“Right, yes,” Astarion said, clearing his throat. Regaining his cool, he slyly suggested, “Why don’t you crawl into my lap?”

Vistri couldn’t breathe.

Her non-answer was a glorious victory. Astarion could tell he had an effect, a sway over her somehow. He tilted his head back, smiling with confidence, “You do want it, don’t you?”

Lightheaded, Vistri gave in and sat across his knees. Grinning, Astarion grabbed her up into his arms and dipped her dramatically with a slight growl. Vistri giggled, too loudly, and he cupped a hand over her mouth.

He shushed her, “Be still now.”

First, he brought his lips back to her throat. Then his tongue. Then his fangs.

A moan escaped Vistri this time. One, warm hand cradled the back of her neck as he drank from the front of it.

He promised it would be just a taste, and it was just a taste. She didn’t even have to hold him back this time. Astarion stopped on his own accord, before she was ever in any real danger.

When she opened her eyes, Astarion had stars in his. Just a little bit of her, and he was an entirely new person.

Self-satisfied, Vistri grinned, “You’re welcome.”

Sitting up, her head swayed forward like a drunkard and almost smashed into his skull.

“Oh, there you go,” he muttered, steadying her.

Vistri looked up at him, her face so close to his. “I’m okay,” she answered before he could ask.

“Don’t try to get up just yet. You’ll take another tumble, and who knows if I’m feeling generous enough to catch you again.”

“Bastard,” she laughed weakly.

Vistri could smell her blood on his breath. She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes so the only thing in existence was the scent lingering between them. She couldn’t imagine liking this so much with anyone el—She shot up so fast, suddenly standing to escape those thoughts.

“Careful!”

Astarion must have been feeling generous because he caught her a second time.

“Oops,” she said, embarrassed.

“You ought to take better care of yourself, darling. I’m invested now.” Funny thing, that wasn't even a lie. He'd never met someone like her before.

Vistri met his grin with performative suspicion, “How heartening.”

Astarion's eyes followed the words as they bounced off her lips. He smiled realizing they were perfectly painted instead of washed clean.

She either swayed or leaned closer. Even Vistri couldn't tell if it was blood loss or an intentional inching of her feet.

“You look a bit peaked,” Astarion said nervously.

“Yes,” Vistri sighed, standing so near, “Off to bed I go.”

Even the air between them pounded. They stayed very still. His breath turned into her breath.

Then Astarion broke the spell, stepping back with narrowed eyes, “Sweet dreams, then.”

“Sweet dreams.”

But there were no dreams.

Just forbidden thoughts that ran endlessly through their minds, until even their muscles ached.

[raguna-blade]

Finally got around to watching the Anime Movie Belle and I gotta say that even though it had a bunch of plotting problems That I think i would normally be a bit more annoyed about - It never does anything particularly egregious, but I feel that some things move a little too quickly or are glossed over a bit in a way I don't quite like, or the this is an outgrowth of the internet and technology that felt a bit eh, but those moments also ultimately don't matter so- it's hits me as a really just...aggressively sincere movie.

Like I had to had to tell my brain to not go lmao this bit is dumb because XYZ because like...No, that's so nakedly obviously not what's important here.

"Oh but this makes no sense it's basically a social media platform that does XYZ" It doesn't matter IDIOT, it exists to support the theme of you being part of the world and how you HAVE to expose yourself to see the changes in yourself that you want to see, if you want to help people.

"Ok, but how does it all work though? Like, Yeah Beast...Beats people so badly that he's able to break their data? THat's just a thing he can do? Nobody can find his secret castle for some reason?" YOU ABSOLUTE MORON, none of that is relevant. It works because it's fantasy twitter but cool and functional and owned and controlled by 5 cool old ladies who may as well be fairy godparents. But the tech-No, it literally is unimportant. While I'd like it a bit more if they gave a less technical explanation, the tech works because it does, homie is able to fuck things up the way he is able to because pain is pain, And for him his ability to fight is basically the equivalent to belles ability to sing. An Ability WILDLY INSANELY INCREDIBLE to an unreal degree (like Her arc does follow a viral sensation arc for the initial flow, but it takes effort to capitalize on that, and on top of that she's apparently making money? yeah no.)

I mean hell, most of the people in this movie actually do seem to have some legit super powers. It's kinda glossed over and is again relatively unimportant, but like her bestie? Kind of scary capable of dealing with things, especially if we take the textual difficulty of finding Beast as true. Kayak dude? Homie hits nationals....on strength of a club that consists of himself and himself alone? What? Like yeah ok, that's normal sure.

Anyway.like...man, once and if you just buy in and accept the technical aspects as just "it fucking works" the movie really just constantly goes "Here are the feelings and why they're being felt and yes it's goofy and weird in places" but damn if they don't just mean it and it does hit.