#[ it’s like that in canon but it doesn’t make it right same as a Victorian being silenced for her voice doesn’t make it right because law ]

[spiderwarden]

Breaking tumblr by confessing that my findings have me deducing she is bisexual with a preference for men.

[yuuxhan]

Edgar Allan Poe headcanons

+ pairing hcs (Edgar x reader)

+ some with Karl

(These are my personal hcs and opinions! Nothing canon here!)

Edgar is very introverted. As we all know, he stays cooped up in his house all the time working in his novels. He has a special room that cluttered with materials, especially books that are scattered everywhere in a frantic look for inspiration.

His house is perfectly normal… except it’s very dark Victorian styled… the windows are always shut or he probably has no windows.. he uses candles as a light source. Everything is black, it makes it easier for him to concentrate.

Writers block sometimes hits him, it eats at him. And since he isn’t very social, he doesn’t go out as much for inspiration… unless Its for a job with the detectives, then how could he not accept?

The rivalry with Ranpo eats away at him too.. every time he creates what he thinks is the perfect murder mystery crime for him to solve, Ranpo solves it like it was nothing. He gets so happy.. and then depressed the next minute.. but it only drives him to make more, which makes it a problem.

He sometimes likes to work at a cafe, that one person in the back with the table full of supplies for writing.. maybe he’s even eating a muffin or two… yeah that’s him. But he’s careful enough to watch out in case any stupid person comes and takes his things.

He seems fine.. but inside he has something that he never likes to share.. he has a major disability but he hates to talk about it. It makes him so embarrassed and he hates himself for it. Whenever he feels it’s going to hit, he walks away immediately from whatever he’s doing and gets himself to a place where he’s alone and safe.. before letting it happen. (I’m not sure what it is yet.. but I’m going with epilepsy)

Karl is also there! His little pet raccoon is like a service aid animal ready to help him. He’s not trained and he’s not licensed.. but he’s known Edgar for so long.. ever since the little raccoon was little. Both him and Edgar are like two peas in a pod, they never split up from eachother. Whenever you see Karl, Edgar is always somewhere around.. and it’s the same for the opposite. They always have each other’s backs.. and Edgar couldn’t feel more happy and safe with him than ever.

Edgar is a very emotional person.. with not having many friends.. and everything that happened in his past.. it makes him tense up with all different kinds of emotions very often. He’s very sensitive.

Sometimes he’s get so invested in his work, he would sit all day in his room, from morning to sunset without even realizing it.. he’d forget to eat and take breaks, so he tends to pass out from exhaustion quite quickly.

When he’s crying, he has a sort of ‘tic’ or ‘saying’ that he says a lot.. it’s anxiety induced and he just repeats it over and over and over and over for as long as he can.

“Oh.. oh no.. oh no oh…”

“Oh.. (y/n).. oh.. oh my.. oh..”

When he’s very very frightened or panicked.. he age regresses. Not only that, if he’s in a stressful situation that hits him personally and close to home, he’ll become suddenly silent.. or he’ll just suddenly panic and break down right there.. depending on the situation. He becomes a small frightened boy, crouched down head in hands pulling his hair out.. all of it.

——————————————————————————

Edgar is the kind to carry around a notepad.. he uses it to write down inspiration when he doesn’t have his books on him.. but he also uses it to draw when he’s bored. But sometimes.. if he sees someone.. or even you that catches his eye, he’s nervous to talk to them so he writes what he wants to say to you and hands you his notepad with the pen, in hopes you’d respond of course.

Since he’s so emotional.. if you show him the smallest of kindness, he’d take it like it was a otherworldly blessing, he’d appreciate it so much that you’d feel kind of weird for him thanking you all the time about it now.

Edgar is not fond of touch.. especially intimate touch. He gets startled easily from someone’s hand on his shoulder or anything of that sort.. but once he’s used to you, he will warm up and every touch you give him will be the most comforting thing to him.

He loves it when you compliment him, the more you do it the more he’ll get attached to you. He thinks of himself as such a person who doesn’t deserve to be given compliments.. but if you keep talking to him over and over about it.. he would only accept them from you… slowly you can rebuild his love for himself.

He loves it when you pull him in to hug him, he can rest his head on your shoulder and be at peace for a moment, he’ll close his eyes and he won’t move a muscle.. almost like he’s fallen asleep on you. He loves every moment of it.

Edgar isnt one for aquarium dates or carnival dates.. he’d rather sit in a library with you and read you stories with him on your lap.. especially if it’s murder mystery’s.. it can give him inspiration for his novels but also makes you interested in the story’s outcome.

If ever he’s stumped with something about his novel, he’d come to you for you to read and understand what he needed help with. With your help an confidence bed be able to fix it in no time!

Please.. please help him with his disability.. he’ll rely on you for comfort if you’re around. Give him hugs or let him rest on you.. he’ll appreciate it when he comes back instead of laying in the cold floor.

When he’s been in his room working all day, please check on him every now and then. Make sure he gets his break, even if it’s five minutes of you talking to him.. or bringing him food to eat, make sure he eats it before you leave, that way he won’t pass out from working all day long.

Karl would absolutely love you once you come around more often to see Edgar. He’d get used to you and he’d love it when he gets belly rubs or you feed him snacks. He’d sit on your shoulder all day long just like he would with Edgar.. but when it’s time for you to leave, the poor raccoon gets sad and would tug on your pants for you to stay. He’d eventually hide away on Ed’s desk and curl into a cold little ball, waiting for you to come back.

When he’s upset, sit him down either in a chair or on the floor, somewhere where he wouldn’t be able to hurt himself much. His crying will be shaky and he will cling to you so much and for so long that he never wants to let go. He’ll sit there and cry until your warmth and your voice soothes him.. but he’ll stay longer and he might even fall asleep on you. You’d have to sit there for hours with him asleep on you.. unless you put him down if he lets you.

He is like a little duck, he will follow you around any and everywhere. He’ll stick close behind you but he most likely won’t interact with anyone unless he has to or he’s comfortable with them. This also makes him be a little and big spoon when you’re cuddling him, he loves to hold you, he loves to feel you close to him like you’re a life line to hold onto. But he also loves being a little spoon too, even though he’s quite tall, feeling you hold him.. it would feel like a mothers love for him.

Confidence boosters! When he’s feeling down, make sure to cheer him up with boosters! He’d find it fun later on and maybe start laughing from how silly you two would look

“Come on! Show me some love! Shout it louder for the people in the back!!

“I love myself!”

“Louder silly!! You got this!!”

“I LOVE MYSELF!!”

Whenever you two are walking around somewhere in public, poe would probably get overwhelmed by all the big crowds and want to hold your hand like a lifeline. But if something catches your eye and you let go, he’s stand there dazed and confused, he wouldnt know what to do with himself, even if you call him to come over. He’d get anxiety and just stare at you, so you’d have to go and get him yourself…. Lesson learned, don’t let go of his hand.

He loves back hugs.. you know that feeling when you’re standing in a doorway, you know what’s in front of you.. but not what’s behind you.. and you feel scared to turn around..? Yeah… he gets that a lot.. and when you hug him from behind, even if you’re shorter than him (this man is 6’ he’s tall as hell.. jeez, I’m like a midget compared to him D:).. he feels at ease, he feels safe.. he knows you’re behind.. you have his back.. and he can look forward.. and be at peace..

Bonus if you kiss him.. while hugging his back.. it sends flutters down his spine <3 ;)

You have to help him with his age regression! It’s not a want, it’s a must. You must help him.. or else he’ll probably lose all trust with you. He’d use you as a shield to hide from the world, hiding behind you when he wants to suddenly become mute, you’ll feel him hug you from behind and not say a word. Or at times where he’s super stressed out (example: from a seizure depending on how hash it hits him) hed regress into a small child, you’d need to hold him and spoon him as if he really was one. He doesn’t remember that kind of attention from his parents… at least not from memory.

(That’s all I have for now! Thanks for reading! I’ll probably add more later on !!!)

[mr-bas00nist]

Hello :D may I please request Albert Wesker with a vampire boyfriend! (Head canons will probs work better for this but whatever you want) Like the black and red blouses, a mansion Victorian Gothic style but he isn't even a old vampire or anything he's just dramatic af and has the entire vampire aesthetic 😭 (sunglasses duo fs) maybe add in the trauma of becoming a vampire and being a immortal monster! anyway have a lovely day and take care of yourself freind, also keep up that wonderful work for us mascs and enbys and I certainly don't see enough trans content so thank you it makes me feel much better about myself! (๑ت๑)

-🍷

Thanks for the compliment! I will be writing all you guys want 🫡

Albert Wesker x Vampire! Male! Reader

(male reader is what I was suggesting but no pronouns used)

Cw: Blood, gore and kind of short but their headcannons so their obviously not gonna be the longest

•Okay so I’m not really sure how he’d meet you tbh so we’re gonna hop right into it 💀

•He loves you

•Your style, your demeanor, everything about you

•Your fancy like him and you dress to impress the people around you and yourself

•He respects that because he does the same

•When you take him to your mansion he’s in awe

•it’s the type of mansion you’ll only see in Romania or in a Dracula movie

•You decide to tell him there

•When you tell him it takes everything in him to not dissect you

•He’s a scientist what do you expect? 😭

•But he won’t

•Instead he asks questions and maybe, a little bit of probing and prodding when he gets a chance

•Nothing to crazy though and with your consent

•When you guys finally wind up in a relationship it’s great

•Albert’s usually always up late because of work so he gets to see you in your most active state

•He’s kinda nocturnal

•He brings blood if your not a fan of killing people

•If you don’t care he’ll bring you live victims based on your presence

• “Do you prefer young or old my dear?” Or “Does innocence matter?”

•When your in the relationship your even more flamboyant and dramatic bit he enjoys it

•Your also tidy and neat just like he is with your clothing

•Your cape is dry clean only 😤 (just like his outfit)

•If you do decide to tell him your backstory he listens with care

•He won’t force it out of you though and he probably won’t ask

•You’d have to ask

•He’s not good at comforting people but he’s a great listener when he wants too

•Your like the only person he listens to

•When your done he gives you a gentle kiss and comforts you

•Yeah your an immortal monster who drinks blood from their victims and kills them but hey, he’s no better

•Since you already have your abillities he doesn’t have to inject you with uroborus or anything so that’s one less thing you and him have to worry about

•Your already on his godlike level

•Your sunglasses are different to his enough to were you know their yours

•You have crimson lining on them and a more fancy look than his

•And he still takes them and says that their his

•He loves swapping sunglasses with you and you really couldn’t care less

•His are just as fancy as yours

•All in all you guys are a killer duo

•Literally

[dadbastiandisaster]

Fuck it

🕸️🕷️✨Claude headcanons✨🕷️🕸️

Yes i know his characterisation is utter shit and yes i am taking a marie kondo approach to the s2 canon

Sebastian had at least been around humans before his contract, so he at least had a passing idea of how to Human. Claude had not. Only interacted with humans ever if murder counts.

He’s actually short-sighted (someone on a wattpad book Black Butler Headcanons I can’t find for the life of me because wattpad utterly fucked up their search system suggested this was because his true form has eight eyes and I love it. I think the person who wrote it was called something like ‘The King Fisher’, so if that sounds familiar, say and I’ll tag you)

He has very little concept of social norms. Alois will be like ‘men are supposed to wear trousers and women are supposed to wear skirts >:(‘ and claude will be like

They’re both coming at the ‘gender is bullshit’ thing from two very different places

Sebastian is over-achieving as far as Claude’s concerned. He’s got three other Demons working for him and he’s going to make the most of it, there is no benefit from doing more than he has to.

He has mixed feeling about Alois. On the one hand he does know that Alois’ situation is not great and has even grown somewhat fond of him (platonically i swear to fuck some people in this fandom) but on the other there are few people on the planet less equipped to help than him.

Jokes aside, I imagine it’s a he/they/it situation, but it’s the Victorian era so Alois was like ‘well you’re probably not a woman so unfortunately that leaves you with one other option’ and Claude was like ‘that’s fine, how long could these contract things last anyway?’

His life pre-contract was basically just surviving in Hell, which has left him with extensive knowledge of nature and no sense of identity

Hates people, loves animals!

Took the contract more out of curiosity than anything else. He fucked around and found out!

Most of Alois and his contract is ‘if you have no idea what you’re supposed to be doing and I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing who’s driving this ship?’

The answer is Hannah obviously

My interpretation of the Hannah-Claude situation is that Claude (somehow) knows that Hannah killed Alois’ brother and that chasing after Sebastian is totally pointless, but if he tells Alois, Hannah will kill him (I hc Hannah as a very old, very powerful Demon). Hannah obviously doesn’t want Alois to find out the truth, so she has to sabotage quite a lot of Alois’ plans (which Claude has to carry out, so it makes his life a lot harder, which is Not A Vibe as far as Claude’s concerned)

Plus Hannah is like ‘actually you’re doing a shit job with Alois’ (true) ‘and if I had this contract instead of you he would be fine’ (not true)

Sort of mid-level Demon. Like he’s in pretty good health (aside from the crappy eyesight) but he’s not especially skilled in combat. He’s just sort of meh.

He likes knitting, crocheting, sewing, lace-making etc because it’s similar to web-building and he finds it relaxing

Sebastian fucking hates him after the Ciel kidnapping incident but the hatred is entirely one-sided. Claude does not give a singular shit about Sebastian, just thinks he’s (as the kids say) a bit of a try-hard

Knows for a Fact that Alois is a lot smarter than he lets on. Doesn’t rat him out on it though, he doesn’t get paid extra to be a snitch, and he’d probably do the same if the situation allowed

I’m torn between ‘totally non-judgemental’ and ‘is a massive bitch’, so I think it’s both. Totally non-judgemental is he’s ambivalent to/likes you, if he dislikes you he is judging you on everything you do right down to how you butter your toast and will chat shit behind your back

Even he didn’t like the previous Earl Trancy

Really not a fan of physical affection

I think if he and Aunt Frances met, it would be a case of unstoppable force (Aunt Frances knowing that Claude is doing 10000 things wrong and cutting so many corners he now has a circle) vs immovable object (Claude doesn’t care). The Sebastian - Aunt Frances dynamic heavily relies on Sebastian caring about her opinion and Claude simply does not have that problem.

Unlike Sebastian, he sometimes sleeps.

I don’t think he’s aro/ace he’s just never really had much of a chance to explore any of that,

Anyway, I will stop for now, this is already very long. I might make ones for Hannah and the Triplets because I will simply never stop talking about the kuro demons

[cosmiclion]

Familiar AU angst hours: I know I said that hunger makes demons weak and vulnerable, but what if it makes them revert back to a mindless state? The longer they go without consuming a soul the closer they are to becoming the feral monsters that they so look down on.

And ever since he became Ciel’s guardian Sebastian hasn’t made a contract with anyone, what with all the time consuming work that comes with caring for a young child. Of course, since demons are immortal they can go years without really starving, but the thing is Sebas had already been a bit hungry when he first found the child. Sure the prospect of raising a little human and gaining his trust so that he’d later decide to make a contract with him sounded fun, but years go by and the Phantomhive boy still doesn’t mention it.

Conflicted, strange feelings start swirling around inside Sebas. While he does care for the kid and even feels protective of him (in his own demon way), he has never stopped viewing him as a potential meal. But if the kid never offers him his soul, does that mean he should just leave? If Ciel grows up and doesn’t need help and guidance anymore, why stay? Saving him and keeping him alive was just an experiment, right? Right?

To make matters worse, he starts to worry when he finds himself often fantasizing about the flavor that the past trauma has added to the young soul. He’s always been a patient calm demon, so what’s going on? Demons can also smell souls, and Ciel’s is mouth watering, oh how he’d love to open up his jaws like a giant wolf and swallow him whole.

Oh no.

He’s losing his mind. He hasn’t even gone looking for souls of dying people all this time, as that goes against his aesthetic. And of course the idiot bastard hasn’t talked to anyone about this. Which is why he doesn’t know Ciel has been studying demonology behind his back, knows everything about demons and contracts and actually plans to make a contract, but what he wants is for Sebas to be his familiar, which means he’ll be bound to him until he dies of old age (the little shit does view him as a parental figure but also wouldn’t mind having a demon by his side to help him gain power and smite his enemies, boys amirite?).

I haven’t fully decided how the story goes from here, but maybe it gets to a point where hunger overcomes Sebas for a while and Ciel has no choice but to confront him and forcefully bind him with the knowledge he has acquired, maybe also with Agni’s help (they have met Soma and Agni by now, more or less at the same point in time as in canon). After Sebas has calmed down, Ciel makes a promise: if he stays with him all his life and becomes his sword and shield, he can have his soul in the end, effectively making him a familiar demon; and in the meantime he can take the souls of any enemies they may kill whenever he gets hungry.

Tl; dr: Scrawny Victorian orphan catches demon like a pokémon.

[tetrakys]

MCL Alternate Life review

Now that the three 4-episodes routes have been fully released, I’m ready to spend some final words on AL in general and the three boys specifically.

Plot

The plot is quite simple: AL was created to mostly address the break up, it is the canonical ending to Lysander, Kentin and Armin’s routes (while UL and LL are the canon continuation of Cas’ and Nath’s routes). The general plot is meeting your old boyfriend again, reconnect, solidify the relationship and resolve the long-distance issue. Quite simple, it’s the con of having only 4 episodes, but it does its job well, for years we asked for something that would fix the break up and we got it. Also I liked that the main structure was the same for all three boys, it provides a sense of continuity and a main theme for the season.

System

Same as the other seasons, 2AP x line of dialogue, however there is one main difference. Episodes 2 and 3 have choices which lead to different illustrations and scenes, meaning that they should be replayed twice if all illus with the crush want to be obtained. I personally quite like this system because the episodes are short and cheap, rarely over 1000 AP and this gives me a reason to play twice and extend my gaming experience. Plus replaying doesn’t bore me since the scenes are different as well so it’s almost like having two episodes in one.

The Art

I’m generally always happy about the quality of MCL’s illustrations, and I think AL keeps up with the high standard. As a con, I’d say that the poses might be a bit repetitive, hugging and kissing tend to be quite similar among the three routes, but other than that I’m happy. Backgrounds and sprites are also very good imo, but I’ll get to that soon.

Now, a closer look at the three:

Lysander

My Victorian prince was perfect as a teen and remained perfect in adulthood. Personally I think he looks even more beautiful, if possible, and his personality didn’t change at all, only slightly more mature due to being an adult with adult responsibilities. If on one hand this means that we got exactly what we lost 4 years ago, it also means that he’s the crush that remained the most static, didn’t have a real evolution like all the others did. Like a fae prince who remained frozen in time. It might make his journey a bit less interesting that’s true, but on the other hand can you improve perfection? I don’t think so.

In fact he’s the only crush we didn’t break up with. At first I was a bit surprised “for sure it must be Kentin the one we don’t break up with, right?” but afterward it made so much sense. His AL is one of rediscovery of someone who we never really lost, and despite me not liking farm life it makes perfect sense for him and Candy to have ended up there. His story is soothing, and calm, just like him. Finding him again is like feeling you finally found your place and your home.

Kentin

Kentin grew up a lot since high school. Not only physically as he got taller and bulkier (and hotter) but also mentally. When we meet him again we find someone who has completed a personal journey, a new person who knows his worth and who they are. These years spent travelling the world alone made him grew up and now he’s able to love Candy in a healthy way because he can also love himself. 

His AL is one of getting to know the new mature person he’s become but also finding out that what really matters, his feelings and good heart, are always the same. Its route is full fluff with 5 minutes of drama which only serve to learn how different being with him is going to be now but also how his love didn’t change. His story is about personal growth and the work you have to put on yourself before being able to be in a relationship. 

Armin

Armin is still the same jokester as before, but he’s not a boy anymore, it’s clear that the break up made him grow up as well. His new looks are similar to what he used to wear before (without Alexy’s terrible involvement), I’m not a big fan of the yellow but it compensate with the haircut which imo makes so much more sense than that octopus-looking one he had before. I also love that he kept a smirking teasing expression which is so him. 

His route, while remains similar to the other two in its basic structure, is completely different in the sense that while he did grow up and became more mature, his story isn’t as much as getting to know him while getting to know who Candy and him are together and if they can build something solid and long-lasting. With Lys and Kentin we get a finished product, with Armin we get a work in progress, that makes his route more eventful and dynamic. We start with a fight in episode 1, get a whole journey and end with a final declaration which address all the issues and uncertainties. We see both Candy and Armin grow during the story. 

Personal considerations

I think all 3 routes are really well done so preference becomes a matter of personal taste. On my side, Armin’s is above the other two for the simple fact that I enjoy the drama and the enemies-to-lovers vibe. I also love Candy in this route, and the teasing relationship the both have. I loved following their journey, for me this route is pretty much perfect and I can only hope Beemoov keeps up this amazing writing. 

The other two routes are also really great. Kentin’s route is perfect for people who like fluff above all and just want to live a sweet love story. Lys’ is for people who want to play something soothing and with a more fairy tail vibe. 

I’m happy we finally got a happy ending with the three of them and these endings make so much sense: with Lys we could only join him in his farm life, not my thing as I said, but I never saw Lys as someone who could enjoy the rockstar lifestyle, his choices don’t have to work for me, they have to work for him and I’m happy they do. With Kentin it wouldn’t have felt right if he gave up his lifestyle and stayed in town for us, it would’ve been a complete step back from his personal journey to see him give up everything and chase Candy once again, so I’m happy it’s Candy the one joining him this time. And with Armin, with all the times Candy was the one to follow him in his passions and hobbies (plus the whole long-distance and Disney debacle) it had to end with him staying, and I’m so glad it did.

So now that we got our happy endings, what’s left?

I guess we’ll see 😏

[seeingteacupsindragons]

This is such an extremely dumb detail to analyze but when I’m out of things to analyze this is what I do. I was always under the impression that Fred is like 15 (pre time skip). Like no more than 16, but then the characters birthdays came out and even though Fred doesn’t have one listed (still sketch to me) it has 18/19(?) as his supposed age which is kind of weird to me because it feels like he’s younger? Like people who talk about “this kid” being in that type of work and yeah he is young but if he is technically a legal adult why would people be surprised by the line of work he is in? Also it was probably just a comedic moment but I remember the whole bond situation and Moran being weirded out about bond changing with them and he comments “she has a bust .. Fred’s too young to see that.” Again, why would Moran think an 18/19 yr old is too young to see nudity? I know all this pretty much amounts to “it’s not that deep bro” but these are the things that plague me.

So, I think you've gotten a little caught up here in your assumptions having led you very astray from canon:

I cannot remember a single time anyone referred to Fred as a kid or were surprised someone his age was in his line of work. I'm not going through 20 volumes of material at 2am to check, but if it does happen once or twice, it's fairly inconsequential and from someone who doesn't know Fred well.

Moran never, ever says that Fred is too young to see nudity. This one I did check because it was easy to find that scene, and Moran actually just says that Fred didn't want Bond in the changing room either (and Fred was unimpressed and unamused by being dragged into Moran's brief foray into transphobia). The English translated this one a little funny, but he didn’t actually comment on Fred’s age directly in Japanese.

My assumption that his age comes with a question mark and a lack of birthday is because he doesn't know exactly when he was born. While birth certificates and records were quite common in the time period, I think it's a massive assumption to assume everyone knew the exact details of their birth, especially someone like Fred who seems to have come from poorer origins.

But the actual reason I'm answering this right now is actually this one specific detail: Fred, at 18 or 19, is not a legal adult. Not in Victorian England (where the age of majority was 21) or in modern day Japan where he's being written (the age of majority in Japan is currently 20).

So, he's the youngest on the team by a few years, and, yes, he's actually the only minor in the on the team.

But I think he comes across as "younger" than the others because he's initially less entrenched and more in doubt of things, and he's much more openly kind and hopeful than the others. He doesn't have the same angry jadedness. And even in Baskervilles, his warm heart is compared to William's own. He is the one with the same love and idealism as our disaster boy. So that probably contributes a lot to the impression.

So anyway, I think this is a reminder that fanon is fun and gut instincts make sense, but sometimes it's important to double check canon before getting too caught up in something not making any sense, 'cause sometimes we forget or misremember things. I know I have, and sometimes when I'm writing longer meta, I've got to double check myself because my memory is good but not infallible.

[bladedhatsandstars]

About

…the muse

Name: Robert E. O. Speedwagon

Age: varies.

Pronouns: he/him 

About:

A tertiary character from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures parts one and two. Gang leader in the toughest slums in late Victorian period London, near White Chapel. Traveled extensively before settling in the slums to oust the former gang leader and start his own reign with the alliances he made between other gangs, locals, and people he met around the world.

Background:

Born during the late Victorian Period in the slums of London where classism, capitalism, and xenophobia rule (gee, doesn’t that sound familiar?), Robert has seen it all. He’s been in enough scraps, he can tell a good person from a cruel person by the scent of their sweat. As such, he will sometimes antagonize a person to get a better read on them if they are particularly good at hiding their emotions. Even Narcissists can’t get past His nose or survival-honed instincts!

Though marked by a deep, permanent facial scar stretching from the bridge of his nose to his chin, Robert is much more than a seasoned robber and conman. Empathetic to a fault, he worries about those he gets to know, and it’s given him a Robin Hood complex: steal from the rich to feed the poor. Even when he becomes rich himself, he keeps his dream to better the lives of the city’s outcasts, and uses his newfound wealth, and the sudden social class changes it gives him, to start making changes for the better! He employs his friends and other “unemployable” workers, finding their special strengths that others might overlook and gives them the resources they need to pursue their dreams (like Smokey Brown changing from a street thief to a town mayor). He starts humanitarian efforts around the world, rebuilding broken streets like his hometown slum, researching medicine to heal the sick, preserving cultures and land for indigenous people and animals, and… secretly…searching for supernatural threats to all of humanity.

His fear that the whole world will be subjected to the same levels of cruelty he’s grown up with keeps him on his toes his whole life. He will never turn his back on danger to those he cares about… Even if that danger is far too powerful for him to face with his own martial art prowess and weapon proficiency. In the words of an infamous general, “torture will not work” on him. For a man who’s already “seen Hell”, nothing humans do will shake him. The only things this man fears are supernatural forces that can take away everything he loves in an instant.

Depending on the verse and time setting, this muse can be played as a child; a youth traveling on ships and caravans seeing the world; a scrappy young gangster joshing with his best friends and terrorizing the public; a narrating sidekick; a deeply traumatized young man trying to figure out how to keep himself and his friends’ lives together without falling apart himself; a miner following his nose and a dream; an oil baron with No idea how to deal with his new social class or all the people suddenly out to rob him of everything; an oil tycoon settled into his role of dismissing politicians and anyone else trying to use his wealth for their gain and setting his sights on his own dream of helping the world and the less fortunate; a philanthropist and humanitarian trying to save art and culture from WWI and II and deport endangered citizens from the Axil’s clutches; a heartbroken godfather; a desperate grand godfather trying to help raise a boy who reminds him so much of everything he’s loved and lost, including his younger self; a pioneer for human health, technology, habitat preservation, animal rights protection, and researching the supernatural and mythical; a foster father for New York’s future mayor; and a proud great grandfather who dotes on his adopted family, and loves his work, his employees and friends around the world, and still travels extensively despite being an octogenarian.

RP Verses

Canon

❅ Will my heart thaw the frost (Young Speedwagon)

✞ Will my heart endure the frost (old Speedwagon)

AU

Fateverse: Canon until a key event changes the course of Fate

✹ My heart shines on (Jonathan lives)

✩ My heart shall be your guide (Old Speedwagon, with Jonathan and family by his side)

Others:

- Kid verse: Mini Wagon will cut ya. Beware the gremlin munchkin!

AUs for JJBA

- Golden Speedstar: a certain golden haired heir to the Joestar line is cloned from Robert’ and Jonathan’s DNA. Robert gets to be a father and he’s not sure what to think about it.

- Caesar Lives: All canon events happen as written but Caesar survives and gets to torture/guide Joseph

- Swap verse: What if Robert was the nobleman and Jonathan was the gangster?

- Future verse: Robert is sent to the future/ or lives an unusually long time/ or we revamp canon to modern setting. Robert gets to live in an era with cellphones, internet, and Stands.

- Kid verse: can be set in canon time or modern

Other Possible AU ideas:

- medieval fantasy verse with Speedwagon as a winged creature.

- Pirate verse: Captain Speedwagon and his merry men, Ahoy!

- Anthro verse: works for Zootopia, Ducktales, Darkwing Duck, and similar anthropomorphic animal shows

- Animal verse: Horse Wagon anyone? Or Wolf Wagon? Something along the lines of Balto or Survivors could work. I have a Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron AU

Other ideas? Feel free to plot with me!

…the mun

Name: Lupineleigh aka Tempest Loupnoir

Age: 21+ 

Pronouns: she/her

My muse does cuss but the mun prefers to avoid writing it out so some curse words may be censored. You do not need to censor yourself. If I’m feeling up to a good old fashioned Faff, I’ll look up words for him to use that fit the timeframe but I may lack the energy for research. If you have references I can refer to, let me know. I’m happy to learn and grow as a writer!

I use an outdated mobile app for responses so fonts, special characters, reaction images, response trimming, and hiding long posts will be difficult for me. I’ve been on here since 2013 and I’m Still figuring this confounded site out! 😆

I might respond in seconds, or I might take a week to respond, depending on the amount of energy I need to provide the response. Response lengths vary. I might write multiple paragraphs. I may write one sentence. My muse is very emotionally reactive with a hyperactive mind, intrusive thoughts, and keen senses, so what might fill up paragraphs on the page could happen in a second in real time. Just like JJBA.

My DMs are open, so feel free to chat or discuss plots with me.

Word of Note: This should go without saying but Mun ≠ Muse. We don’t even speak the same English language! I only know 21st century American English. Just because I like this character, that does not mean I condone everything he does or make the same choices. My interpretation is for my personal enjoyment and may not be one you like. That’s okay! There are other rpers or even other characters that I play that you might enjoy more. We’re all here to have fun, so let’s get started, shall we?

Disclaimer: 

There is the usual gore and violence triggers that comes with watching JJBA. They will not be tagged unless requested. Heavier themes like child abuse or death will be tagged as #tw: x and placed under a cut.

[majorxmaggiexboy]

The Terror Shipping Nonsensical Babbling - Jopson edition

first of all full disclosure while i am happy to ship this cat with anyone and everyone in this show (except, y’know) Jopson is my designated character per media i get to claim for the aroaces so technically in my world it’s canon that he’s just married to being the best steward on the planet like someone back home will be like “So have you ever thought of marriage?” and he’ll be like “No i’m good” “But Don’t You Want A Wife?” “Nah” “A Lover???” “Wouldn’t have time” “what” *rolls out to-do list* “Okay first of all you need Jesus but second of all-” 

BUT HYPOTHETICALLY 

there’s exactly one of two ways a Jopship could go

1. This is a guy who needs a PROJECT okay this man is a mama duck in the body of a cursed victorian 20-something if he isn’t actively caring for and nurturing something 24/7 he fades into the ether like if he doesn’t have an object of ceaseless loyalty and devotion you HAVE to give him like, an egg or something to take care of until that situation is rectified. Which means ideal candidates will be the poor little meow meows of life the pathetic soggy waffles of men (if women were an option in The Terror he’d go for like, an ex-maid turned weird victorian vigilante she totally killed her last three bosses and probably lives in a trashcan he would love her) okay he needs somebody he can take care of and hype up and enable i mean

2. ALTERNATIVELY and he would HATE this option initially he should be with someone who will be like “Wow, damn, he does everything. I better step it UP” and pulls an uno reverse on him and shows the same level of care and dedication and he’s like “wtf is THIS? NO??? That’s my job!” if he isn’t furious and wriggling like the cat in the pepe le pew cartoons they’re not doing it right. Unfortunately Jopson is tall so ideal candidates for this scenario are absolutely lacking but even shorties can make it work if they’re determined. Get somebody who will either out-soft him by sheer goodness of nature or who will run on spite and red bull and take it as a personal challenge to be as gentle and loving as possible and create a continual cycle of one-upping each other like that

THE CANDIDATES THEN

Luckily for us almost the entire cast of The Terror falls into one or the other of those two categories. So does Catwoman. So,

1. Catwoman - I was joking at first but actually i can see it. It could work. 19th Century Catwoman would be a weirdly ideal candidate. I hate myself

2. I won’t lie the Jopzier shippers know a category 1 when they see it. It ain’t my favorite but i also can’t argue with them

3. Lieutenant Nedward Little is unique in that he fits both categories like, on the one hand we’d get Jopson going “Oh my god I have to fix him,,,,” and trying to kind of lowkey hype him up, especially to Crozier, being like “that’s an interesting point lieutenant the captain would like to hear that he’s actually v fond of u u know” and Little would be like, you know, in tears by this point going “man i gotta step the hell up and be a damn good man” and then he wouldn’t but it’d be a solid effort and Jopson would appreciate it except for the times when Little’s on him to take a break or smthn. They definitely argue a lot but they’re a pretty cute option.

4. Lieutenant Irving is actually also a fit for both categories so Lieutenant Nedward once again knows the sting of not being special, that’s awful. Anyway, Irving is a flaming dumpster fire of a gay man, it’s downright tragic, Jopson would feel compelled to intervene. He’d sit through so many crisis of religion conversations and be so nice about it while also fully calling Irving out on his stupidass opinion so after a certain point Irving would actually be working on himself and would be like “wow I should do something nice” and would do a hard swerve in the opposite direction so he goes from Gay And Angry About It to like, Aggressively Bumbling Yet Well-Meaning Boyfriend like after a certain point Jopson would legitimately have to be like “please let me do what’s left of my job it’s all i have, also we have to improve your sewing” it’s a potentially cute option, they get into little tiffs too but at the end of the day they’re also in fact having an ongoing competition as to who can be the sweetest softest most gentle yet semi-feral bf

5. Henry FOSTER Collins oh my god it’s another category 12 HE STARTS OUT as a 1 like Jopson’s like “This man is on DRUGS?????” and drags him to Dr. Goodsir which starts a chain of events that saves all their lives but hear me out hear me out Collins is reminded that life is worth living and Collins is able to return to being the absolute soft semi-feral teddybear we all know and love he’s like “i will take care of you i will somehow bring flowers i will cuddle for warmth you don’t even have to ask i will build us a goddamn house i will punch tuunbaq in the face if it even looks at you what do you need what can i do for you” and Jopson is probably like “that’s very sweet but nO ACTUALLY” so he’s doing everything in his power to take care of Collins and make him feel loved but Collins is doing everything in his power to take care of Jopson and they’re both kind of stressed out but Collins is hug-shaped, and that is important. Jopson needs a hug that cracks his spine like a glow-stick it’d be so good for him, Collins is the man for the job. Collins also has rly big coat which is super important for purposes i’m sure you can discern

6. DOCTOR GOODSIR CATEGORY 2 codifier. Do y’all understand that if Goodsir falls in love with you you’re set for life? Like you literally never have to worry about anything ever again, that bear could be looking you dead in the eyes going “you’re next” and you’ll still die feeling safe and warm in the knowledge that Goodsir loves you SO GENTLY ngl Jopson would be horrified. He’d probably go through a bluescreen moment of just, “what is happening” just, straight up sheer confusion but eventually he’d be like “Oh. Alright” and would immediately make it his mission in life to be such a ray of sunshine that Goodsir would be like “I thought it was starting to be horrible here but Actually,,,” also it would be cute bc Goodsir would be like “You’re probably fluent in Inuktitut by now, you eavesdropped so much” cue playful argument over whether being in the room to serve tea and happening to be highly observant counts as eavesdropping

7. Ngl i don’t really see it aside from potentially bonding over a mutual appreciation for propriety and shampoo but on the other hand it’s the contrast between the man who will do amazing things to be seen and the one who’s willfully invisible but desperate to be seen by just one person it’s the fact that if Jopson ever caught on that Fitzjames is a Category 1 it’d be like “I Can Fix Him” senses ACTIVATE here comes Validation here comes Unconditional Love here comes Devotion Like You Never Seen Before those piercing slightly cursed knowing victorian eyes are locked on, man, Fitz would be shaking in his boots like Holy Shit and then Fitz would go Category 2 so fast the world would start spinning the other direction

8. Silna stop blocking me they would not get romantically involved per-say but at the end of all things Jop could be a suitable roaming the wild companion for her bc on the one hand he’s respectfully distant on the other hand he literally has to be ride or die in order to live, kind of like a shark if he stops he’ll die so he would absolutely give it 100% into helping her out however possible and she’d be like “If I Have To Be Stuck With A Haunted White Boy Who Isn’t That Doctor I Suppose This One Will Do. They’re not bf/gf, they are Partners. Silna would also clock Jopson as no less than 10% Unhinged and be like “Oh. Okay.” and occasionally side-eye him like *nods to herself* “Ghosts* and not elaborate

9. Hartnell - they would date for like one week bc Hartnell is a category 2 who’s just getting his Bi wings. They’re mutually v soft and adorable but after a certain point they’re both like “Oh okay turns out we’re actually just rly close friends” and it’s like the most peaceful breakup in the history of breakups

10. im including Hickey just to make the note that he is a 1 but even Jopson isn’t that good. He can’t fix that. No one can. It doesn’t even occur to Hickey to look at Jopson and go “I could make him worse” until it’s too late. A REAL contender would’ve figured out Jopson’s slightly insane well before the tent scene. If Hickey can’t figure it out before “I’ve shot smaller hawks than you” he can’t make Jopson worse, he wouldn’t even know where to start. Instead i’m proposing that they’re like, exes who never dated. They were never attracted to each other but Jopson went “I’ve shot smaller hawks than you” and Hickey went *EYES EMOJI* they have a beautiful arc of “strangers-to-can’t-be-in-the-same-room-without-trying-to-skin-each-other” 

11. i’m serious about 19th-century catwoman tho

[phoenixyfriend]

Fake Sith TCW Trio

I have another fucked up time-travel AU! Who’s surprised? (Nobody.)

So like. Have you guys read that one fic where Luke and his students go back in time and pretend to be Sith Lords and are super hammy about it? (Sith Lord Swell by AMournfulHowlInTheNight)

This AU has contributions by @atagotiak, @the-lunar-system, @purronronner, @gelpenss, @creepingthroughthistidalwave, and @thisarenotarealblog.

I want TCW trio (plus Rex and Cody) to go back to several years pre-TPM and, since the Council DEFINITELY won't believe them about the Sith being back... they'll force the issue.

Anakin is weirdly excited about things and building up their backstory.

Anakin: Okay so I can definitely be a Maul type, with the unhinged ranting and manic laughter, Obi-Wan can be the whole Refined Rich Guy type like Dooku, where you can't even tell he's evil until he starts talking about getting out the eyeball scoops, maybe toss in a bit of mad science stuff? Ahsoka could play up like Ventress OR, oh oh, she can be the Light Side Child we need to PROTECT who's publicly begging us to return to the Light after our big dramatic Falls where we murdered like eighty people to save her, and-- Obi-Wan: Why are you never this enthusiastic about actual undercover missions. Ahsoka: Did you just have all this ready to go, or...? Anakin: WE COULD GET YELLOW CONTACT LENSES FOR ME.

Obi-Wan: How's my evil laugh?

Anakin going “Okay.. so if any of us need to murder someone to sell the bit it should be me, I think I could handle it the best. Why? No reason.”

Obi-Wan: I'm not sure a complete Fall could come from protecting Ahsoka, really-- Anakin: No, no, it could.

Obi-Wan: Surely you’d hold back because you realize neither of us want that for you. Anakin: Uh. Sure. Definitely.

Obi-Wan points out that none of them can channel the dark side to Prove they're Sith and Anakin just goes "Okay, give me like two seconds to stew in my negativity and--right, you can stop staring in horror, please."

Anakin rambles on that they can TOTALLY make the galaxy a better place while playing at being Sith! He's got a whole LIST of slave empires to "take over" and disassemble!

Anakin has a whole excited spiel about how EVIL soldiers and assistants are minions, in this case partly because Cody and Rex are too good at what they do to be mooks. Cody could pull off evil minion very well. Facial scar? Looks good in black? Quietly competent and sarcastic?

He also pushes for Obi-Wan to lounge in a fancy throne with a glass of wine while Anakin stalks the shadows and Ahsoka hangs out on the window ledge. The disaster lineage is dramatic, okay, Anakin’s just leaning into it, he’d appreciate it if everyone stopped looking at him like that.

Qui-Gon, surprisingly, ends up a skeptic about all of this. Everyone is freaking out about the Sith and he’s like “y’know I’m not even sure they’re darksiders.”

Some Jedi, possibly Qui-Gon for his conspiracy board, gets in a real risky situation and one of the Fake Sith saves them, but also panics and kinda drops character for a bit.

Jedi: You saved me! Why’d you do that? Anakin: I uh... just wanted the pleasure of killing you myself?

"You saved me. Why?" "Mmmm. Jedi." [walks away]

Qui-Gon: [trying to figure out what is up with these people semi-competently (from his perspective) pretending to be Sith] Dooku: [trying to protect Qui-Gon from Sith influence]

The gang is the most successful at pretending to be Sith to Dooku. Sure, they’re not gonna punish him for something he hasn’t done, but it’s not hard to act menacing and angry around him.

(They really do have so much fun irritating the heck out of Dooku. He hasn’t Fallen yet, but they want to keep an eye out.)

At some point, future Obi-Wan definitely drops that little tidbit of "What, you didn't think the Banites were the only Sith running around did you? You... didn't even know about the Banites. How... disappointing."

They REGULARLY use Ahsoka as an excuse to be marginally less terrible. They claim that if Ahsoka pouts, they stop. ‘Soka also uses them as an excuse for why she’s a lil feral. (To be fair, that one is accurate. She was already a lil feral before but it’s not like they did anything to stop it.) Ahsoka gets her "breaking into people's offices" jollies by bugging Nute Gunray's office.

The Jedi keep trying to Rescue Ahsoka.

Rex and Cody end up in real beskar, there's a whole Thing with Mandalore and Jango and Satine.

Obi-Wan is CONSISTENTLY worried about Anakin Falling for real, which... hey, at least he knows to be worried about Anakin Falling. Step up from canon, really.

Anakin is WAY too into killing the Hutts but like. It does... technically sell the bit.

Obi-Wan: Sure, I’m not sad that they’re dead, especially because we’re not connected to the Republic, so we don’t need to worry about starting a war and all that. But. Anakin is disturbingly cheerful about this. Rex: Wasn't he a Hutt slave? Obi-Wan: Well yes, but-- Rex: I'd kill Nala Se if I could get away with it.

Cody and Rex are very supportive of Anakin's murderous intentions.

Obi-Wan does understand anger, even killing someone in anger. Like Maul (the first time at least) and D’nar and a few others. All the same, like... y’know. The level of bloodthirst from the others is a little off-putting.

At one point, Anakin accidentally addresses young Obi-Wan by name, despite never having met before, and to cover it up, he... panic-flirts. He panics, and so he flirts, with young Obi-Wan.

(He will later blame this on old Obi-Wan, because he had to pick up the habit of flirting with the enemy from somewhere.)

Anakin vaguely implies that he's a wee bit obsessed with young Obi, and that the padawan should "get used to being the target of a dark-sider's interests," because he’s scrambling for Ominous Shit and, well, future Obi-Wan was pretty frequently a fixation point for darksiders, right?

The second he gets out, he just starts screaming into a bucket while Rex pats him on the back.

For the next however many terrible months, possibly years, he has to keep up the act while having an ongoing meltdown about how That's My Dad As A Twenty-Something.

(It doesn't help that young Obi-Wan reflexively flirted back.)

Old Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is just very "you dug this hole yourself, padawan."

There is an argument at the beginning about Obi-Wan’s outfit. If he’s gonna be a Sith, he can’t just go around in beige, but he’s like “I like this and it’s comfy.” Sure, he’s changed clothes for undercover stuff, but that’s always been temporary, y’know? He likes his beige.

We have a number of options.

My first instinct? Beige linen three piece suit, like a southern lawyer. "Now I may just be a simple Outer Rim force adept--"

And, of course, you can TOTALLY make the beige sinister: he’s impersonating a Jedi! Jedi impersonation would also explain why nobody has a red saber.

“Sure is good that the Jedi don’t seem to realize most of the galaxy doesn’t know red sabers are different and bad.” “Shhhh, stop poking holes in our story where a Jedi might overhear.”

Like.... if you do enough doublethink, it works! How would a Sith hide? In plain sight. Also, it’s a GREAT way (if they were actually assholes) to try to slander the Jedi name.

(Anakin and Ahsoka still think he could stand to put a little more effort in. Add a splash of color, for pity's sake!)

Though tbh part of me is like “What if Old Obi wore, like... a split skirt suit...” Victorian womenswear inspired because he misses his robes, but he has to look Professional, and like he's MOCKING Jedi instead of BEING one, so he wears a vintage-y split skirt thing over his leggings. Ends up looking a lot like what Ventress had for a while, but Beige. I also keep wanting to put him regency menswear.

Anyway. Obi-Wan’s wardrobe aside...

Anakin builds up his Tatoo accent again. It helps him with the (mostly true) "slavery helped me fall" backstory.

Either Cody or Rex offhandedly mentions being made to serve them (the Fake Sith) and now the Jedi are somewhat concerned about brainwashing. Are these Mandos the victims here?

“No like. Literally made for this. In a lab.” This is even more horrifying. So...

On the one hand good! The Jedi should be scared about Sith! On the other hand... it makes the Jedi more determined to stop them, specifically. They keep on getting in the way, just, all the time, and they’re not investigating the actual Sith problem, which is decidedly not great since the Team doesn’t actually know who’s a real Sith right now, except Maul, and who even knows where that guy is.

Obi-Wan, at some point: Do you think we've succeeded at this ruse... a little TOO well? Anakin: I don't follow. Obi-Wan, gesturing at the truly obnoxious amount of wealth they've collected, including "trophies" of their kills: Really? Because I'm a little worried! Anakin, planning out a battle to take on Nar Shadda: ...I'm not.

"How many people do we realistically we need to take over Hutt Space? Apparently... five."

(Mostly because Anakin is ridiculously op.)

ANAKIN AND YOUNG OBI GET KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES TOGETHER. It's tradition.

Anakin: Okay, so, I need to get really angry about something to pass as a Sith... time to think about my WIFE and how I'll NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

Since Anakin’s life never goes as planned... this does not work. Instead of getting properly angry, he makes himself sad. There are tears. There is wailing. There’s a distraught rant or two. Young Obi ends up awkwardly trying to comfort him.

“Oh no, this… Sith?? Is crying on me. What do I do???”

Later on, when the Council wants intel: "So... one of the Sith cried on me about his wife. I think she's dead? He wasn't very clear about it but it, uh... it sounded like it might have contributed to his Fall. Also the relationship was a little unhealthy? He basically worshiped the ground she walked on and kept ranting about how he would have given her the galaxy on a platinum platter of she'd only asked, but that might be new and inspired by the Dark."

One of the random Jedi is REALLY good at detecting the truth Through The Force, and asks Anakin how he Fell...

Anakin just. Tells the Tuskens story.

They don't get pinged as lying, but oh boy does old Obi have a LOT of questions for Anakin once they're in private.

There are other things happening to help sell the ruse. Some of them are necessary! Some of them are... not.

Obi-Wan: What's the best way to show we're rich and kind of evil, but like... classy about it? Anakin, immediately: I sit on the floor next to the throne, leaning against it, and you call me pet names while stroking my hair, and then when you need something killed I get to do it for you and then I go back to the floor and you thank me for the directed violence, and then you go back to Negotiations with criminals while I’m sitting there covered in blood. Obi-Wan: ...is there something you want to TELL us, or...?

"You're all going to get a glimpse of something normally kept hidden about me." "Anakin, you don't have to do that." "No, I'm gonna."

(Anakin has decided hes going to peel his kink tomato to sell this ruse, and the others are slightly uncomfortable with that.)

Anakin: Okay, I cannot keep flirting with you. Young Obi: Wait, what? But that's the best part of any time we run into you! Anakin: You look WAY too much like my Master did when I met him. Obi: O...kay? If someone looked like my master when HE was young, I'd-- Anakin: My Sith Master half-raised me. He's basically my dad. Obi: ... Anakin: What's that look for? Obi: I mean, you spend a lot of time lounging at his feet, and, like, given how much you hate slavery, I... kind of assumed it was a kink thing? Anakin, brightly: Oh no, I just have a LOT of trauma. And neuroses. Snips says they’re neuroses.

Young Obi is a little upset because he was actually getting REALLY into Flirting With The Enemy and was hoping it would go somewhere. He mopes to Qui-Gon about it. Qui-Gon isn't sure whether to be proud about Obi breaking rules, or worried over Obi-Wan falling for a Fake Sith.

(As Tia put it: "You enjoy making young Obi-Wan have a completely unrequited crush on Anakin, don’t you?")

Fortunately, one of those attractive Young Mando boys very kindly helped him tape up his ribs this one time, and has thus caught his eye...

I feel like having Cody date Young Obi would court an entirely different kind of (internet) drama because clone ages, but whatever.

Also please imagine an element of "so I'm dating the genetic identical of my boss... who's dating the man I'm a genetic identical of..."

(It's probably not actually Jangobi but man would that be funny and also stupid.)

Somehow Young Obi figures out that the "Sith Master" is a future him before he realizes that they're not actually dark. In his defense, Anakin was pretty convincing. Especially with the wife rant. It makes HIM more obsessed with Anakin, in a reversal of the implied earlier dynamic, which is all kinds of weird. Less romantic but like. Still weird.

"Future Me Scares Me" with Extra stupid. "Future Me Annoys Me." "Future Me acts like grandmaster Dooku, but more sass." "Future Me raised a really hot evil guy that refuses to bang Present Me." "Future Me might be a Sith, but I'm getting more and more convinced he's just fucking with us all." "Future Me is really rocking that beard, and I can't BELIEVE we figured out a way around the babyface."

"I’m kinda concerned about the whole evil thing, but I’m also glad that I know I’ll stay hot as I get older."

Quinlan approves of the priorities.

Also a lot of interactions with older Obi are very Anakin: [does/says something deeply unhinged] Obi-Wan: So, do you want to…. Talk about that? Maybe? Anakin: What’s there to talk about?? I’m fine, everything’s fine! Anyways how about those plans for tracking down Maul?

Anakin later, like way after the ruse is lifted, just blankly tells everyone that he did Fall, once, and Older Obi made him get therapy about it after the truth came out between the two of them a few months into the Fake Sith thing.

Where'd they find a therapist? I'm sure there's one SOMEWHERE around. Denon and Herdessa are close enough, and they've done enough "your criminal empire now belongs to me" that they can pay well. They make sure to find one that takes confidentiality real seriously.

It's all very "we need some more time to unpack all that."

Therapy helps get Anakin to figure out Sheev’s whole deal. They don't necessarily figure out he’s a Sith from it, but they figure out he’s sketchy and they need to look into that more. Obi-Wan probably already thought he was sketchy, but the whole active gaslighting campaign was a little surprising. They realize that he kinda benefited a lot from a lot of Sith plots and they still probably don’t think he’s a Sith but Obi-Wan is definitely starting to think he’s working with one.

"Okay, we're already bugging Gunray, should we bug Palpatine just to be safe?"

They get away with a lot of slicing because Anakin is a technical genius from twenty years in the future.

The reasons they're so good at Taking Over Hutt Space: 1. They know parts of the future. 2. They have superpowers and FAR less reason to not use them, now that their actions aren't going to reflect on the Republic. 3. They have Cody and Rex, who are two of the greatest military minds in the galaxy, and know EXACTLY how to wage a war that covers a solid third of the galaxy, starting from a position of relative weakness. 4. Anakin's charisma is scary high, and his knowledge of slave culture means they gain a lot of trust from the people they free, and they just... keep acquiring volunteers for the army they didn't plan to have. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He thinks they might have started a cult?

In his defense, Dooku sort of started a cult, and Komari got kidnapped by a cult, brainwashed into joining it properly, and then took it over as head figure of said cult. It's practically tradition!

Comics Vader is the central figure of like three different cults, it was really just inevitable.

Anakin: Aw, don't worry master, it's not a cult, it's a revolution! Ahsoka: They're worshiping him, though. Anakin: ...it's still a revolution! Just... with some misunderstandings.

Also, if they got wind of people trying to keep people from being able to leave and other culty stuff like that, they’d probably put a stop to it pretty damn quick.

Names! Time for names. As per usual, it's easiest to keep track of Obi-Wan's alternate Older Self by just calling him Ben.

Darth Ben.

Ahsoka: You should be Darth Boring. Obi-Wan: I can still make you run laps, you know.

Anakin: The Force is telling me to call myself Darth Vader. Obi-Wan: ...why? Anakin: I dunno, but it sounds cool, I'll run with it.

Someone: Ben has all the answers; we shouldn’t question him, ever. Ben: One time I lost a planet, and a five-year-old found it for me.

More options: Going with the "evil word with the prefix 'in' chopped off" that we get with Sidious and Vader: Darth Surrectus (as in insurrection) Just random Latin words: Darth Temporus (time) Darth Commenticius (fake)

Anyway, back to Nonsense:

Maul goes after young Obi early, because the Fake Sith are really invested in this one random Padawan (Sidious is saying he might be a cousin of the false Sith Master? They do look similar enough) so someone needs to investigate. Naturally, Anakin shows up with some wild screeching to fight Maul, and when someone questions why he got involved it gets very "Kenobi is MINE!" and like. Okay. So.

Anakin means it in a very Sith "to toy with" and "to torture" way, or the ‘my chosen opponent!’ way, just the same kind of Obsession as Maul had with Obi-Wan in the original timeline. Unfortunately, Anakin’s a weird-ass person who flirts with Young Obi against his own better judgement, so there's some awkward "Like... your boyfriend?" from young Obi. Anakin just screeches in SOME emotion that nobody wants to interpret, and couldn't even if they wanted to, and starts whacking away at Maul again.

(Anakin hasn't explained the "you look exactly like my dad, sorry, it's just too weird" thing yet, and he is HAVING MANY REGRETS.)

There's definitely at least one instance where a person asks Anakin if he's planning on dating That One Jedi Twink, or at least banging out the tension. At that point in time, Anakin doesn't actually know who the fuck they're talking about, because "Obi-Wan + Twink = Does Not Compute" for dear, dense Ani, and instead he just ends up ranting about how he is LOYAL TO THE MEMORY OF HIS LATE WIFE, how DARE anyone so much as INSINUATE that he would TARNISH HER PERFECT MEMORY and UNWAVERING KINDNESS and WHOLESOME BEING, and the person who asked doesn't end up lightsabered but they do end up with a LOT to tell whoever they're reporting to.

Young Obi-Wan definitely hears Anakin mutter the phrase “something to discuss with my therapist later” a few times, and he’s a little bewildered because darksiders definitely don’t seem like the type of people to go to therapy. They’re the type of people to need therapy, sure, but not the type to go to therapy.

I think it would be very fun for Young Obi to continue sighing over Anakin (who's pretending to be fine with it and even flirting back because he's in too deep to stop and hasn't worked up the courage to explain the elephant in the room) while Anakin is covered in grease and infodumping while having a slightly manic hyperfocus on engine repairs while the two of them Somehow got stranded together in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (it's Plagueis's doing, he finds the interactions between THESE two in particular to be the most informative regarding the fake Sith).

Anakin, at some point while stranded with young Obi-Wan, and having actually started unpacking some stuff in therapy, though he’s def still got a ways to go: I’m pretty sure Ben cares about me. He acts like he cares, like he’ll do stuff like put extra blankets in my quarters in the spaceship because I get cold real easily or track down those droid parts I need for a project and he always has my back in a fight but y’know it’d be nice to hear him say he loves me once in a while. Especially because we kinda had a rough start and idk I don’t think he wanted me around at first.

And uh. Obi-Wan definitely relates to that a bit too much, y’know?

I want to say that Young Obi ends up mentioning All That to one of the clones or Ahsoka later, because they seem probably invested in Anakin's well-being, even if Ben is, well, a Sith, so Obi-Wan's a little worried the man's affection really is fake, but at least Ahsoka...

(Ironic, given what Anakin's actual eventual Sith would-be-Master was like.)

Young Obi mentions Anakin’s most recent rant to Ahsoka, and she just goes "Wait, is that why Skyguy likes to sit by the throne and get called pet names?" "Uh... I don't... know... but it sounds like all of you have a LOT to unpack there, Miss Apprentice."

Later on: "Master Kenobi, you need to tell Skyguy you love him 'cause apparently he's been having a lot of emotions about you not telling him you care and he's been talking to mini-you about it whenever they get stuck together and--"

Young Obi-Wan is just constantly the "Now we don't have time to unpack all of that" John Mulaney gif. Anakin in particular is a mess, and young Obi-Wan slowly goes from "I want to date that" to "I want to study that" about him.

Obi-Wan gets stuck somewhere with Ben, tries to small talk, gets on the topic of Vader, and spills the drama. He gets an awkward “Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”

It’s followed by a fairly frustrated “I try, but Anakin refuses to communicate his needs to me, and it feels like I’m always falling short.”

At least one member of the group is in therapy, probably all of them, but they’re still using young Obi as a sounding board for all this stuff. On the bright side, this is probably good for impressing the importance of good communication on Obi-Wan.

Good for Obi-Wan! And... whatever Padawan he eventually has.

As for baby Anakin, who is approximately age four, I want to go with "Anakin decides to be his own uncle, and Shmi just rolls with it because fuck it, she’s not a slave anymore, and a Fake Sith is a solid defense against anyone trying to re-enslave them."

[This is a backstory I've had them use before (see here and here).]

Seeing Big Ani and Little Ani in the same space might be what finally pings the "oh shit, that's future me" thing for Obi-Wan... you know, if he’s ever allowed close enough to see Little Ani in the first place.

Little Ani stays with the fake-Sith and is sorta jointly trained by all of them, and young Obi-Wan teaches little 'Soka at the Temple. Ani and 'Soka still end up friends somehow, but it is fairly different.

Every time little Ani addresses Old Obi as "Dad," it's just like ten kinds of awkward. The one time someone tried to explain that Ben wasn't his new dad, Shmi glared them down. She is of the opinion that, all the gods be damned, Ani deserves to refer to the most mature man in his life, who raised another him in another timeline already, as a father.

Ani doesn't NEED a father, Shmi herself is more than enough, but he does deserve to have this if he wants it.

An alternative conclusion to the time travel is uh. So the Mandalorians are genetically identical (give or take a hair gene) and really resemble Jango Fett, though whether anyone notices that is up in the air. Then the three ‘Sith’ (two fake Sith and their morality chain tag-along) have three younger, identical copies show up….

It could be really weird cloning shenanigans. Now, it makes no sense that they’d make clones, and stagger their production like that, and leave them as babies on various planets for Jedi to find. IDK what reasons Obi-Wan would come up with for that, but it’s a fun little detour before he gets to time travel.

There's a really painful moment (for the audience, who know about canon Vader) where someone tries to convince Ahsoka to leave the Sith and she's just like "no way, they'd never hurt me!” Then she clarifies that “someone has to keep them from doing stupid Sith shit whenever they get bored, you know?"

A bunch of Jedi probably think she’s delusional, but the few that have seen her get into trouble that is legitimately too much for her, which isn't often, have then seen Anakin show up like the devil himself to save her, and it's like. Oh. This is why she isn't scared of them hurting her.

We’ve discussed how Anakin does get concerningly in character with the fake Sith thing. However, Anakin and Ahsoka are, just once in a while, surprised by how Ben gets sometimes when playing the bad guy.

After all, he stabbed a dude with a fork and threatened to eat him during his time as Hardeen…

He has the same dramatic streak as all the rest of the lineage. He can be vindictive and creepy and scary as fuck.

HOWEVER:

Obi-Wan: I know I'm supposed to be playing at evil right now, but how do we feel about me making that evil a little... fruity? Ahsoka: Fruity, master? Anakin, who knows where this is going: [buries face in hands] Obi-Wan: You know, the... [limp wrist] Ahsoka: ... Obi-Wan: I mean, I'm already bisexual and well-groomed, I can play it up.

What’s the point of being evil if you can’t be flamboyant?

Anyway, I had to put in a lot of thought for what to do with Rex and Cody, because there's a solid place for them in terms of strategy, but it doesn't do much to give them independent narrative arcs, and 'young Obi-Wan has a crush' isn't much of an arc, you know?

So, basic info first: Cody, Rex, and Anakin all hold the rank of General in this AU because, like... who else is gonna. Ahsoka remains a commander because everyone declares her Baby, and also to keep up the "I'm a morality chain" ruse.

Cody maintains a very stern and unyielding public persona, but the second they're behind closed doors, he's roughhousing with his little brother.

Rex has some fun pretending to be a sadist whenever he and Anakin have to team up, because hamming it up as an evil bastard in front of Jedi is actually really fun... but usually, he's a competent fucking professional.

Because here's the thing: someone has to be.

They both kind of hate the army they've gotten, because these people don't even have proper trigger discipline, let alone any actual discipline.

This army? Tragic. They hate it. Give them the clones.

They have to be drill sergeants for months before they have anything worth sending onto the field.

I think that might be how/when they end up reaching out to Jango. Like, the first inroad is absolutely "we're your clones from the future and you were a Shit Dad so you owe us," but then they actually talk him around into letting the Fake Sith hire him. He brings along all the Mandalorians he can get to answer his calls, and on suggestion from Those Mando Twins, joins the army Ben doesn't even want.

Darth Boring doesn't want an army! Unfortunately, Cody thinks that's stupid as hell, and is overruling Ben so they can actually work on this 'cleaning up the galaxy of slavery' thing with actual resources.

Cody and Rex are super competent, and it shows in their horrified disdain for the state of their troops.

Rex: Fucking natborns. Anyone who isn't in the know: What's a natborn? Rex: [leaves without answering] People: WHAT'S A NATBORN???

(I'm assuming that the word smush is harder to parse in Basic.)

I think young Obi-Wan's new crush on Cody should also be unrequited. Cody's just like... bemused. Very "Okay, then, that sure is an Affection you've decided on."

Cody and Anakin both: Sorry, it’d just be too weird. Obi-Wan: Why would it be too weird? Cody and Anakin: Reasons.

Rex has to deal with the "whyyyyy" from both his brother and his (former?) General.

Young Obi-Wan just likes cute boys that fight good! Is that so wrong???

Ahsoka: So since we're not officially Jedi anymore-- Obi-Wan: We're still Je-- Ahsoka: Can we date? Can I date now? I want to date someone before we go back to the Code. It's a classic life experience for most teenage girls, and I want to Have That Experience before we're back at the Temple. Obi-Wan: You're not... you can date, Ahsoka, that's not actually banned by the Code. I mean, you'd have to keep it casual, but-- Ahsoka: I CAN DATE!!!

(Great priorities, Ahsoka.)

An idea I'm toying with is that one of the clones ends up Legally Engaged to Satine for political reasons, and young Obi-Wan is just like ???? because not only can he not date the hot boys, but one of said hot boys has become Mr. Steal Yo Girl.

Young Obi-Wan is suffering, and Quinlan is the worst friend ever because Quinlan is laughing at him.

There is obviously the question of

"How would Satine ever end up agreeing to that, given what their public personas are like and all that? She puts duty ahead of personal feelings but all indications are that it’s a terrible decision both ways." (as stated by Tia)

Which, yes, I forgot to actually say that I was imagining Jango had declared "those twins" his heirs after telling people they were his younger* cousins. Because reasons.

* Jango is about 27 when they land in the past, and I’m going to say the accelerated aging ended after hitting physically twenty because no, I don’t want to deal with that. As far as anyone knows, Cody and Rex are about five years younger than Jango. They’re less than year apart, which isn’t very visible, and most people assume they’re identical twins (except Rex’s hair), and that Cody just looks slightly older because of the scar.

Darth Boring had convinced Satine that the way to keeping Mandalore peaceful was to work with Jango (because Darth Boring, which is not his actual title but it is what Ahsoka insists on calling him in private, has a vested interest in keeping Mandalore and all interested parties calm), and he... maybe accidentally set up a political marriage between her and one of the clones.

It wasn't on purpose! Satine never married in his timeline, okay, he didn't expect her to ever get married here, either! He didn't even suggest it! This just happened!

(I want to say that Cody would be more competent at having a political marriage? But IDK.)

Do I do the Satine thing? It has potential, but also it's a bit of a cop-out. Do I have Cody be a diplomatic representative for their pseudo-Sith empire? He could be, but I think he'd hate it. Do I have Rex date one the Chaos Entities (Anakin or Ahsoka), or is that too repetitive with my other works? THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Part of me wants Quinlan to get a crush on Cody, and the crush gets bigger specifically in response to the fact that Cody refuses to take him seriously and/or just doesn't give him the time of day.

Based on their one interaction in TCW, they probably let get along ok. Cody maybe likes him back, buuuuuuut internally he's just a little "you were tolerable at almost-forty; early twenties you is obnoxious."

Just imagine the absolutely puppyish attempts at gaining approval and Impressing The Hot Mando General. Quinlan keeps having vague daydreams of seducing someone to the side of the Light. He really leans into the bodice ripper fantasies of saving someone evil with the power of love! (And also the power of really good sex.)

Bant looks at Quin and Obi and wants to throw them both into the nearest pond because they're idiots, but on this topic they are the same flavor of idiot. She considers calling up Reeft and Garen to help her knock some sense into them.

Quinlan: Can I volunteer to go undercover to the Sith? The Council: No. Quinlan: ...what if I-- The Council: No.

Tholme tries to get Qui-Gon to commiserate over their Padawans getting obsessed with Hot Sith Boys, but Qui-Gon just finds the whole thing funny. He knows from the chats he has with Ben that Anakin feels so completely, utterly, incredibly awkward about all of this.

(Ben continues to hold to "Anakin brought this on himself.")

(Ben also “kidnaps” Qui-Gon a lot.)

Also, hey, at least Quinlan isn’t actually into hot Sith boys! He’s into hot Sith minions which is... probably a step up. At least Cody’s not a Sith himself!

It's a step in some direction but Tholme has no idea which one.

(Quinlan sees Cody in dress uniform once and just keeps the mental image for Ages. It’s in his dreams. Sometimes said dreams overflow to Tholme via Force Mind Magic and Quinlan wakes up to someone smacking his face with a pillow.)

Arguably, Quin's also a lot more romantic about his crush than Obi-Wan is, in this case. Quinlan: I want to save him... Obi-Wan: Hey, hey, cute boy. Look at me. Let’s bang.

Cody: There are currently two future Jedi generals having some form of absurd romantic fixation in my direction. I don't know how to feel about this. Rex: Bed them. Cody: ...I'm not saying that's not eventually an option, but one of them is the younger Kenobi, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Rex: Pat him on the head like a tooka and then bed his friend, it'll be funny.

I think the Quinlan thing and also general exasperation of leading an absolutely useless army can function pretty solidly as the basis for Cody, but I have another idea for Rex now.

Komari is currently brainwashed in a cult, yes? So.

I keep bouncing around back and forth on what to do with Rex, but part of me suddenly really likes the idea of, after Team Fake Sith finds and dissolves the cult (as one does), and takes Komari into custody (because she's dangerous and deeply unwell), Rex kind of ends up her touchstone to being a decent person. He’s not a morality chain, and it’s not really a redeemed-through-love thing, just This Is A Solid Dude who doesn't pity her or thinks she's irredeemable (however you choose to define such a thing), but actually relates to the kind of conditions living like that can involve, and just kind of...

I don’t know. I think Rex's arc in this AU could be very heavily grounded in something to the effect of "You're not the worst darksider I've met. You're not the only person who was in a cult. You're not even the only former Jedi I know that's committed awful, horrible crimes. My question is just this: What are you going to do moving forward?"

Later Anakin: Wait, who do we know that was in a cult? Rex: What did you think Kamino was?

(Rex isn't as chill as he'd like her to think, but he's trying, and she's fairly reliant on the Force to understand emotions, and is currently in nullifying cuffs, so he can bluff.)

Komari needs someone solid and dependable to rely on for at least conversation, and I think Rex needs to feel needed.

I’m not sure if it’d be romance or friendship, but I think there's a solid basis to work with, potentially.

Per Tia:

One thing about Rex and shipping is like. If you want to do Rexwalker again that's fine, but if you're worried about repetitiveness but still want to like. Ship him in a non-political-convenience way. Rexsoka here actually would be different than your other stuff.

I'm trying to figure out if I can make it work because Ahsoka thematically fits very much into a little sister shaped hole here? She feels younger than in other works, despite not actually being younger than she is in, say, Commander Buir. In those other fics, she has some time alone to function and prove herself independently of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

I usually pluck Ahsoka out at sixteen if I'm pulling her from TCW, so she's got most of her competence but hasn't gotten quite all the trauma yet. Commander Buir, in particular, also has baby-shaped Anakin for contrast.

That said, I can see a decent source of narrative conflict in her wanting to experiment with romance and all that, and Anakin trying to tell her she's too young.

A year into this whole time-travel mess, she wants to give the dating thing a shot, and it spirals into "You were only two years older than me when you got married!"

I think I could build a plot out of Ahsoka wanting to do these things, and Anakin as an audience insert not quite processing that she's old enough to make these decisions. If she's choosing to date Rex, whose age works out as being close to hers when one takes into account Kamino fuckery, and whom she trusts absolutely, it’s arguably extra weird for Anakin to be upset with it.

"Senator Amidala was five years older than you, and you married her when you were nineteen and had only really known her for a week! I can go on a date with a guy we both know is one of the most trustworthy people alive if I want, Skyguy!"

I can definitely see Ahsoka getting annoyed with Anakin being overbearing and controlling at some point before that unrelated to romance, too. It’s not exactly a new fault of his.

My god, just imagine someone snidely asking Anakin "where's your little shadow?" and Anakin, being Himself and also a Fake Sith, has an emotional breakdown about how Ahsoka yelled at him for micromanaging her and not trusting her to make her own decisions in life and so she got herself a multi-month solo mission from Ben that Anakin isn't allowed to know any details about, and--

It's another one of those "oh, you have PROBLEMS problems with your mental health" incidents for the Jedi to add to the file, because Anakin having emotionally charged rants about his issues at seemingly terrible times is how they get a lot of information.

Some of the rants are planned.

Many of them, actually.

They want the Jedi to know these things.

Just, well. Anakin.

He really is a little Like That.

On that note, I'm low-key imagining that Anakin gets put on mood stabilizers by the therapist in this context, and he's doing good! He's handling his issues! He's--been captured with Obi-Wan the Younger again and his medication was confiscated.

Anakin is... not great. He's a little out of practice managing his unmedicated self, and when adding withdrawal symptoms onto that... poor Anakin.

(Poor Obi-Wan.)

I think it would be best if Anakin makes a bunch of ominous blustery comments at their captors about how they won't like what's coming to them if they take his belongings (AKA the fanny pack that has his backup pills), and then Obi-Wan just gets to watch Anakin get more and more erratic, because like. Yes, Anakin is using the Force to compensate, but unfortunately he's mostly cut off, and the stress of the situation is pushing him away from depression and into the beginnings of a manic episode.

Anakin is aware of his issues to the point where he's mostly managing, and he keeps asking Obi-Wan "would it make sense for me to [slightly deranged, very impulsive action]," and Obi-Wan realizes he's being the morality sounding board for the Hot Sith because ??? reasons?????

Eventually, Anakin does flop back in bed and dramatically throws his arm over his eyes, and says he needs his meds back, he's absolutely going to lose it, and Obi-Wan tentatively asks what kind of medication. There are levels to worry about. Mild allergy medication is one thing, but heart medication that needs to be taken every four hours is another, you know? He wants to know how much panic is appropriate.

Anakin lets him know that it's Psychiatric In Nature. Obi-Wan suddenly realizes that he really, really, really doesn't want to know what a properly erratic, unmedicated Anakin is like.

(An unmedicated Anakin really isn't nearly as bad as Obi-Wan fears. Anakin's been dealing with this for a while, and knows what his issues are and some of how to deal with them. He'd need to be running on no sleep and higher levels of stress, or to have been drugged with something meant to increase his aggression, to really lose his shit and do something worthy of Vader. RotS levels of stress and sleep deprivation is required to pull RotS levels of manic paranoid delusion.)

Tia asked:

How long does it take the Jedi in general to catch on to how like. They have opportunities. But these Sith never seem to harm any Jedi. And it’s not just like, the past timeline parts of the disaster lineage. They probably get opportunities to hurt other Jedi. Ones that are less skilled at saber work. And more importantly ones that they don’t seem weirdly interested in."

I'm not sure, really. The Jedi don't spend as much time in the Outer Rim as they could, and that's where the Team operates, so actually running into them by accident is unlikely for anyone other than Shadows.

Fortunately, it's really easy to toy with Shadows with the excuse of "I want to see how long it takes before you Fall with us."

I do want like... okay. Here’s the mental image:

Qui-Gon calls them out on being Fake Sith pretty quickly, so Ben just sort of eyes him, dramatically, and orders out "Leave us" to all non-team people. The threat of torture is implied but not stated. He gestures with wine to keep in character. He definitely makes sure Young Obi-Wan is ushered out, so it's just five time travelers, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Ahsoka's immortal force birb.

"...so, what's the reason for the farce, Obi-Wan?" "How in all the hells did you figure it out so quickly?"

(Qui-Gon cheated a bit. He could feel the broken training bond that was never properly severed due to Traumatic Death Of A Master on Ben's end)

Ben didn't realize he'd feel it! Young Obi-Wan can't feel his older self or a training bond with Anakin or Ahsoka, so why could Qui-Gon?

IDK if there would be anything on the level of crying and hugging it out, but I think it would be very funny if, every time young Obi and Anakin are getting captured by pirates or something, Ben and Qui-Gon are just having a nice afternoon tea and checking their watches to see if their respective walking bundles of neuroses are done with their adventure yet.

The Council is So Done, because Qui-Gon continues to insist that they're Not That Bad, but every time anyone other than Qui-Gon brings up the friendship, Ben laughs and makes a comment about how absolutely gullible Master Jinn is.

Obi-Wan is skeptical of his own experiences with Anakin, at least, if only because he's skeptical about Anakin's everything.

"I don't know if Vader is telling me the truth. I don't know if he's telling himself the truth. I don't think he's a great source of information even when he thinks he's being honest."

Anakin could tell Obi-Wan the full and complete truth, and Obi-Wan would worriedly put a hand to his forehead and start doing tests for hallucinations and paranoid delusions. In his defense, this is a very reasonable assumption to make with an individual like Anakin. It's just also not accurate, this time. I don’t know if Anakin hallucinates in canon without a weird inciting incident like Force Nonsense or getting drugged by the enemy, but paranoid delusion is pretty much all of RotS.

"I’m your time-traveling padawan who’s pretending to be a Sith to catch some other Sith who’re going to start a galactic civil war and those Mandalorians you like are from a clone army based on a template of Jango Fett made to serve the Jedi (because that’s totally something he’d sign up for), and one of the Sith is your grandmaster but he doesn’t seem to have fallen yet, it’s probably fine," is hard to believe.

Honestly, even if he seemed stable before saying that, which he doesn’t, it’s all real far fetched. There's a lot going on and Obi-Wan wouldn't even begin to believe it without evidence.

I've had it in my head that he and Bant and Quinlan have been gossiping about the mess for months if not years about these idiots, and at one point it became common knowledge that Ben was a Kenobi, and Bant convinced them (since the two were among the most likely in the entire Order to encounter the Fake Sith) to get a DNA sample, probably hair or blood since that's easiest so they can figure out HOW these two are related, if they are, and then there's a whole big thing.

Bant: No, no, this must be contaminated, it's coming up as Obi-Wan! Are you sure you didn't accidentally grab some of your own hairs? I know it's a little long for most of your hair, but the braid-- Quinlan: Wait, they keep claiming stuff about cloning, right? Maybe someone's a clone? Check for artificial telomeres! Bant: ...okay, so, there aren't any artificial telomeres, but the ones from apparently-Ben are... a lot shorter... um... I don't know what to do with this. It's like I have two samples from the same person, twenty years apart. Quinlan: Obi-Wan, what's that face? Why are you-- Obi-Wan: Vader told me he was a time-traveler. I thought it was the fever talking, but...

That’s how he finds out that Ben is future-him before finding out about how he’s not evil!

"Master Jinn... I think... I think the Sith controlling the Outer Rim is me from the future." "Oh, you finally figured it out?" "I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE."

Obi-Wan, after a few hours of dazed realization, runs screaming to Quinlan and Bant like 'GUYS GUYS THIS EXPLAINS WHY VADER KEPT SAYING IT WAS WEIRD AND THAT I LOOK LIKE HIS MASTER AND THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE DATING HIS DAD.'

You know, the important stuff.

I think Qui-Gon tells him that Ben isn't evil because, like, That Sure Is A Crisis Obi-Wan's Having. He could hold off for shits and giggles, sure, but Obi-Wan’s on the edge of something Really Concerning, mentally. Best help calm him down on at least one or two things.

Obi-Wan’s maybe still a little skeptical until he confronts them over it. Because their Sith act was real good and also like. Maybe Qui-Gon just wants to believe the best of his Padawan, y’know?

Quinlan runs into Ben before Obi-Wan does, after this whole mess, and gets to observe as money changes hands and people act like sore winners about bets made for When Does Obi-Wan Figure It Out.

Anakin was saying 'soon' because he really didn't think the fever-fueled rant would be discounted as easily as it was.

Cody was of the opinion that it would take at least a few more years since they're actually pretty damn good at this whole schtick.

Quinlan: Wow, he's... going to be really disappointed that you have such a low opinion of his intelligence. Cody, gesturing at Ben: Experience. Darth Ben: ಠ_ಠ

Cody just rattles off some of the Extremely Stupid Shit that Ben's done in their time working together.

Rex cheerily offers up "You didn't even realize General Skywalker was married, sir! And they weren't subtle!" "I knew they were together, I just didn--" "Everyone knew they were together, sir. Everyone."

(Rex had the lowest opinion of their deductive capabilities. He claims it would have taken until Baby Ahsoka showed up at the Jedi Temple.)

-Once Obi-Wan accepts that they're decent people after all- Obi-Wan: Wow, Anakin, you're real good at acting unhinged! Anakin: Haha. Yeah. Thanks?

[wahbegan]

The King in Yellow is fucking insane because it’s an absolute hallmark of Cosmic Horror, you know one of the defining pre-Lovecraft examples, but there’s not much....actual cosmic horror in it.

I mean, okay, there are ten stories, right? 

The first two build up to the cosmic horror. I mean first we have

-A guy who fell off his horse and suffered a traumatic brain injury who goes on and on and on about how he’s NOT crazy and everyone who thinks he’s crazy is an irredeemable ASSHOLE (as everyone knows, this is the most reassuring thing you can tell anyone under any circumstances) and also about how he lives in an alternate version of America (the details of which directly contradict another story set in the same location btw) becomes convinced by his weird little friend (a guy who inexplicably keeps a feral cat around for the purpose of goading it into mutilating him-he has lost all the fingers on one hand and both his ears to this practice) that said weird little friend runs a huge cabal based on blackmail and occult shit and that if he kills or banishes his cousin and kills said cousin’s fiance and her dad, he will inherit the Earth. 

-And a beautiful, sexy, slutty French artist throuple (technically it’s a love triangle but by GOD do they act like a throuple) is mystified by the alpha boyfriend somehow discovering magic goop that turns living things to marble and then wracked by the girlfriend and beta boyfriend contracting Victorian brain fever disease, which ends with the girlfriend deliriously throwing herself into the marble-izing gunk and the alpha shooting himself in the heart out of grief, but the beta recovering and realizing years later that the marble-izing is temporary and the girlfriend comes back to life so....happy....ending?

Not very Cosmic Horror except oh yeah, just casually in the background there’s this play, only ever briefly quoted and evasively referenced, called The King in Yellow that apparently drives every single person who reads it varying levels of batshit fucking bonkers and/or dooms them to horrible deaths. The novel The King in Yellow does a very good job of referencing the play The King in Yellow like it’s something the reader should have read first and already be familiar with, which would be a lot easier if it fucking EXISTED, but it doesn’t, so. 

The 1st story’s “protagonist” and Mr. Earless the Cat Attack Addict seem to base their bizarre plan/delusion for world domination around shit they got from the play, and the French throuple are tormented by visions from the Play when they get Victorian Brain Fever Disease. But that’s about it.

Then the next two stories abruptly shift into ACTUAL Cosmic horror. We got everything! Mysterious artifacts of doom inscribed with an eldritch insignia! Zombies! Creepy-looking blokes mysteriously appearing around every single corner you turn! Mocking Bible quotations! The Eldritch Abomination HIMSELF showing up (kinda sorta not really) and stealing souls!!!

And then the last 6 stories just really abruptly drop all that shit. There’s like a couple minor references in story 5, but that’s about it. It’s just like...romantic-decadent stories about love and artists and shit. Oh, and story 6, my personal favorite, a collection of eight abstract pseudo-poems that have nothing to do with fUcKInG aNyThInG!

Oh yeah, also the Eldritch Horror in it may be more of an infectious idea than an actual entity, or just straight-up a metaphor for decadence? Yeah there is an actual entity referenced a couple times but it’s i dunno i do not know it’s ambiguous but the point is there’s nary a tentacle in sight

Also there’s like 8 characters named Jack and fucking 16 named Sylvia and at least two characters with the same last name who may or may not be the same guy and it all might be alternate timelines or not who the fuck knows if you try to make canon sense of it you actually will go insane and try to kill your cousin’s fiance or become addicted to cat scratches, just read it and enjoy it mayn

[keister-meister]

I'm currently watching the Bohemian Rhapsody film and it's got me thinking about how silly it is that this whole 70's rock aesthetic has become practically inseparable from the popular Marauders era fanon.

Like... we all know what the Marauders era looks like in a lot of fanon. Everything is kind of sepia, the Marauders wear nothing but bell-bottom jeans and t-shirts and denim and leather jackets, they rock those fluffy, shaggy 70's 'dos, light up a cigarette like every five minutes and maybe most importantly, they spend their free time listening to whatever the author's/OP's favorite popular 70's band is on a muggle record player whenever they're not busy participating in muggle protests for gay rights.

What's up with making the Marauders basically muggles in all but name only? Aside from projection? We know at least two of them were pureblood wizards, the third was a half-blood who grew up in the wizarding world (Remus had to hide being a wizard AND a werewolf – what are the chances that his parents would have allowed him to hang out with muggle children?) and the fourth was most likely either pureblood or half-blood. Point is... they all grew up in the wizarding culture, as far as we know, and whatever muggle influence Remus as a half-blood would have had from his mother would certainly not have included current fashion and popular music – those are things youth get from peers.

The boys likely wouldn't have had much contact with muggle culture until Hogwarts... but from what we know from canon, there doesn't seem to be much muggle culture in Hogwarts either. The kids from wizarding backgrounds just stick to their own things, and the muggle-borns seem to mostly adapt to the wizarding world. Also, muggle technology doesn't work in Hogwarts, so that's it for music records, movies and TV-shows being shared.

We also know from canon that the wizards as whole just aren't keen on integrating or adapting aspects of the muggle world into theirs, even if it was possible. They still write on parchment with quills and ink, FFS. Arthur Weasley was apparently the most notable connoisseur of muggle culture, yet he didn't even remember the word "telephone" correctly. While Harry's generation of wizard youth is said to dress in muggle clothes outside Hogwarts (which I assume was Rowling's way of making Harry's generation in particular more relatable to the reader), we are shown that adult/older wizards are mostly clueless about muggle clothing... to the point of old men wearing floral night dresses (no judging tho).

All I'm saying is... if the wizard society as a whole – not just the few pureblood fanatics – wasn't pretty much unreceptive of the ways of the muggle world, there's just no way they would have that medieval/victorian thing going on in the late 20th century. They would not wear robes and cloaks as everyday clothes. They would have debit cards instead of carrying gold around, they would write with mechanical pencils and they would definitely use some magic-powered version of a cell phone instead of... sending an owl or putting their head in a fireplace. Dumbledore would not be seen as the progressive icon he apparently is just because he thinks it would be evil to kick muggle-born magical people into concentration camps to be executed. IDK, the bar is pretty low.

The fact that the wizards haven't adopted many modern muggle inventions and ways of doing things even when they would be more convenient suggests that valuing tradition is something that is implicitly taught to all wizards. They either see their own ways as superior, or just don't feel compelled to change what is familiar just because something else might be more efficient or convenient. And it makes sense because isn't this how humans work a lot of the time when it comes to new, unfamiliar things, although maybe less extreme? Like, how America as a whole is still mostly averse to bidets, despite the fact that rinsing your ass with water is obviously a better way to clean up than just smearing around with a dry piece of paper? (Sorry for the shitty example.)

This is why I feel like the Marauders wouldn't be anywhere near as "muggle" as they are usually portrayed in fanon. I don't see any reason why they would be so different from Harry, Ron and Hermione – none of whom were into muggle things in canon, despite being "progressive" and despite two of them actually having been raised in the muggle world before Hogwarts. Teenagers don't tend to become invested in popular culture like fashion and music until after the age of 11, and these kids spend all but two(?) months a year at Hogwarts surrounded by wizarding culture. Since the expectation is that they stay in the wizarding world, why would they be interested in keeping up with the trends of the muggle world? I can see this being important enough for someone who is muggle-born and maintains close relationships in the muggle world, but for purebloods? No way.

Anyway, we know there are wizarding musicians (although maybe two were mentioned), wizarding games, wizarding fashion, wizarding literature, wizarding magazines, wizarding sports... so why not get creative and expand on that, instead of making everyone basically muggle? Like, it's interesting that most fic writers don't take the chance to explore the possibilities of wizarding youth culture beyond what is shown in the books. What if there was a wizarding band that had the same vibe as Queen or ABBA or the Sex Pistols or whatever band you want the Marauders to like? What if instead of everyone just smoking regular muggle cigarettes, there was some different habit that was popular with the wizard kids? Wizard drugs?

I guess people love the idea of Marauders being the definition of cool, but we forget that what is cool to us is generally stupid or insignificant to wizards, and what is cool for wizards is just... silly fairytale nonsense to us. The Marauders who wear like... high-collared Diricawl feather cloaks and smoke Purple Pixie grass or whatever through a nostril pipe while listening to some band called the Bad Goblins, or whatever whimsical things Rowling would probably come up with, just don't scream "cool guys" to us like the Marauders smoking cigs and wearing leather jackets do.

IDK, let's just be real, the canon Marauders would be scoffing at bad-tasting muggle cancer sticks, laughing at how silly muggles look in their bell-bottoms, listening to weird wizarding music... what's so wrong with that?

[floriannas]

What Exactly Gothic Is

(Let me preface with trigger warnings, because Gothic makes a point of delving into dark themes: murder, abuse, racism, homophobia, incest, ableism, misogyny)

I have seen certain posts about what the definite characteristics of gothic fiction are that, I hate to say...felt either incomplete or inaccurate. And that has bothered me enough to make my own post about, at the very least, my understanding of this genre. 

Some things to get out of the way:

Gothic does not have one fixed definition. It is fluid and nebulous, and while all literature reflects its society, genre changes massively depending on where it was written. Canadian Gothic is not Welsh Gothic is not American Gothic. Victorian Gothic is not contemporary Gothic is not Regency Gothic. Nineteenth century British gothic is often in response to the drastic technological changes of the industrial revolution. Welsh Gothic has a lot of focus on the disenfranchised and the coal mining industry. Where and when your WIP is, and where and when YOU are writing it, is going to define it. 

We cannot talk about Gothic as a genre without talking about the racism that much of it is rooted in. We cannot ignore Charlotte Bronte’s dehumanising description of Bertha Rochester, a creole woman. We cannot ignore that Edward Hyde’s physical description is less ‘white’ than Henry Jekyll’s. We cannot ignore Heathcliff’s identity as a racially ambiguous villain. We cannot ignore just how bigoted in every way Dracula is. We CANNOT ignore the whiteness of much of the ‘feminist’ gothic literature, either. This is something you must be aware of if you're writing Gothic - it is not integral to gothic fiction but as I will explain, the traits of the genre lend themselves to antagonising marginalised groups.

Gothic is not just gothic horror. It can be horror, but it is still a genre in its own right and the horror is not mandatory.  

This post is about gothic as a literary genre. I will not be talking about Ostrogoths, Visigoths, gothic architecture or art, and - for once - I’m not talking about the Goth subculture either, the two actually have almost nothing in common.

Some frequent, though not all required, characteristics of the gothic (this is NOT a checklist. I cannot stress that this is a genre purposefully WITHOUT a clear definition):

Familial trauma - the ending of family lines (the presence of the aristocracy is common in Gothic, this trope perhaps most blatantly depicted in Edgar Allan Poe’s The Fall of the House of Usher), hauntings - not necessarily literal but metaphorical. There’s often a secret, or some kind of terrible incident that has been covered up, amongst a family that is inevitably unearthed. Marital trauma is very common - as seen in Jane Eyre with the original ‘madwoman in the attic’, the mystery surrounding the titular character in Rebecca, the secret room of The Bloody Chamber, the murdered husband being literally unearthed in House of America. 

The setting is everything in Gothic. It often has a presence enough that it is a character in its own right. Key things about the setting is that it’s typically old - or at least old enough to have a turbulent history - and typically remote, ‘feral’, in amongst nature and separate from civilisation. The latter is very often executed in a racist and/or xenophobic way in Gothic classics. Think very critically of what is considered ‘civilisation’ and what is not. Dracula being a novel about white Christian Britons being threatened by an Eastern European vampire? Don’t replicate that. You will also see the ‘sublime’ (see below) here, and motifs of decay (which can be linked to the ending of a family line easily!), and themes surrounding imprisonment and escape. Gothic fiction loves pathetic fallacy - whether a storm, fog, rain or bitter cold, the weather is absolutely there to set the tone.

Repression. This can be of a trauma, but repression of sexuality can feature too. I have seen it asserted that homoeroticism is a key component in Gothic, and while it can feature, I would not say entirely agree, for a number of reasons. There is often a focus on ‘taboo’ sexuality, a categorisation which places LGBT people with taboos such as incest (which features often in some forms of Gothic). Homophobic tropes such as the predatory gay villain (e.g. Dracula’s obsession with Jonathan Harker and Mrs Danver’s obsession with Rebecca) are fairly common, and a general treatment of homosexuality as immoral or depraved especially older texts, so let’s not act like it’s always been a LGBT friendly genre. Something either hidden away or repressed that is then discovered is a huge, huge, component to most gothic fiction. 

Misogynistic gender dynamics are often present: the combination of a young, vulnerable and innocent woman with an older male ‘Byronic Hero’ type love interest is common. The Victorian template of ‘bad’, ‘promiscuous’ or otherwise ‘improper’ woman reaching a sticky end is well loved. And then there’s Poe’s sinister obsession with ‘beautiful dead woman’. Don’t forget the intersection of ableism and misogyny with the ‘mad’ women like Bertha Rochester and Miss Havisham (though Eleanor Vance of The Haunting of Hill House is a sympathetic antidote of this trope.) The way women are written is something I’d very much like us to move beyond. 

The sublime: this is everywhere. That something, especially the wilderness, is beautiful and massive enough to be incomprehensible. 

Doubles or doppelgangers. Often as a ‘darker’ reflection of the protagonist - such as the hero and villain having close parallels, or the heroine as a foil to her husband’s mysterious dead first wife. It doesn’t have to exist just in this way, but the motif of the doppelganger is one Gothic fiction likes a lot.

‘Otherness’ or monstrosity. ‘Otherness’ and ‘Othering’ is something that is a crucial part of literary theory - what the narrative deems strange, unfamiliar, not like us, and so most depictions of monsters will also be Othered. Considering how almost all of the time in the Western literary canon this is a vehicle for racism, please think critically. Frankenstein’s monster has a more nuanced approach to what society defines as strange, or monstrous, how monstrosity is created, and self fulfilling prophecies. 

Cultural anxiety. This is by no means unique to Gothic but the genre is shaped by what the society of its creation is afraid of. This - like Frankenstein or The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde - can be scientific advancement and new discoveries we do not yet understand, but the problem arises that for a lot of Western Gothic this has been marginalised groups. 

The Uncanny. As found in various forms of horror - same with the fear of the unknown, but often in Gothic - that something resembles something else enough to recognise at least what it ‘tries’ to be, but not enough for it to be truly familiar. This is a really effective way to make any person, place, or thing unsettling.

I think I’ve covered most of my notes - please take my first bullet point into consideration as this will inevitably be a bit UK centric. The thing about gothic is that it doesn’t really have one fixed meaning, so you have a lot of freedom. Bonus: if you want to read a really good gay feminist Gothic short story, ‘The Resident’ by Carmen Maria Machado is one of the best pieces of fiction, ever. 

[emotionallyits2009]

deancas fic rec list!

hello everyone! happy christmas to those who celebrate it, my gift to you is my fic rec list that i said i would make like a month ago. the only thing it is organized by is canonverse vs alternate universe. tried to cover a variety of subjects but there are in particular many fics of the genre “postcanon where cas is human and he and dean live together and slowly finally get their shit together” because i know what i’m about, son. HOPE U ENJOY. and if you wanna talk about any of them or rec me other fics please do. :) 

Canonverse:

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo, 30k, explicit “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.” There are many fics set in a post-canon universe where Cas is human and he and Dean live together and slowly fall into a relationship. Imo this one is the best of the best of that genre. This was one of the first fics I read back in July when I was getting Back Into Supernatural where I was like oh fuck I’m like in this. Dean builds Cas planters and bookshelves and a chicken coop and they fight and work through it.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits, 10k, explicit For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless. Really Gets the dynamic of Cas doesn’t think Dean wants him to stay/Dean thinks Cas will leave the first chance he gets. Also a nice example of Cas thinking he’s not wanted if he’s not useful/powerful and being told otherwise. Another all-time fave!

lonely hearts by outphastthemoat, 4.5k, gen He thinks he might give up having his own anything just to be able to step foot inside the room next door and sit on the edge of Dean’s bed instead. This one is for the CAS GIRLS who know what LONELINESS feels like.

Helionneiros by aeli_kindara, 24.2k, mature In which Dean visits his mother, and Claire takes Cas on a hunt. I’m always on the lookout for more fic with Claire and Jack. Jack doesn’t show up until the end here but the relationship between Cas and Claire is really nice.

Crawl by aeriallon, 11k, explicit It’s been almost four years since Castiel left Kansas; he'd eventually settled in an island town where he has a job, a house, and a life without the Winchesters. Every winter, Dean drives down to the coast to see him. Another fic where Cas is human but in this one he took some time for himself and got some distance from the Winchesters! He gets to be competent and weird as a human and we love that for him. I must warn you all that this fic contains one use of the phrase “making love” which would normally put me right off but it’s still worth reading. The first of a three-part series.

home where you hold me by microcomets, 1.6k, gen Cas and Dean, in the moments between their battles, ache for quiet spaces. Technically this is a coda to 10x20 but you don’t need the episode for context. Short and very sweet.

Build a Home by domesticadventures, 20.1k, teen After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t. This one is so cute it’s like what if once they were done saving the world Sam and Dean actually invited other hunters to move into the bunker with them. Obviously Dean wants that to include Cas but doesn’t know how to use his words.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo, 22.4k, explicit This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. Angst fic! They go on a road trip and Dean is severely fucked up post-Mark of Cain.

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon, 8.6k, explicit No one ever tells Dean anything. Another nice getting-together fic.

Creature of Habit by trinityofone, 5.2k, teen The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well. This one is ancient by destiel standards (written during season 5) but it manages to nail the married couple vibes they give off in later seasons. Cas is a bitch and Dean likes him so much. <3

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by Tuesday, 11.2k, mature Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this. Another old one that is a lot of fun! They get Accidental Angel Married and if you don’t enjoy dumb fanfiction tropes like that I don’t know what to say to you.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi, 4k, teen In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything. The OTHER accidental angel marriage fic written in 2010. 

Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord, 24.8k, explicit A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there. At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history. Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe. Time travel is FUN. There’s an excellent part where (minor spoilers) future!Dean is like, “Guess what, asshole? You like me so much you marry me!!!!!!!!!!!” to 2008!Castiel that made me laugh out loud the first time I read it. Also just a good reminder of how most problems in life are temporary and if you could go back in time to talk to your younger self you’d be like, “Hey man. Chill out. You get through it.”

The Path of Fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, mature After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years. There’s a lot of amnesia fic and djinn fic out there were Dean wakes up ~suddenly together with Cas~ but I like this one in particular because he’s initially very confused and kind of a dick about it until he acknowledges that being with Cas makes him happy.

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden, 95k, explicit Three months ago, when Dean decided to retire, he thought his life was going to end up differently. He'd thought that he might get to have it all, Sam, Cas, Jack, and nice little place to live. Instead he gets Sam and Jack off on their Summer of Love Tour, radio silence from Cas, and a never-ending road trip consisting of himself. Still reeling from the loss of his grace, Castiel travels the country in search of hunts. Driven by a need to prove his usefulness, he pushes himself beyond all limits of endurance. Together, with the help of a few friends, a crumbling Victorian house, and a stray cat, Dean and Castiel patch themselves back together and create a home together. Do you wanna read almost one hundred thousand words of Dean and Cas having extremely intense feelings but refusing to voice them aloud? Haha of course you do that’s why you’re here. There’s also a lot about Cas adjusting to being human and being depressed about it which might resonate if you’ve ever felt weird about having a body. To be honest the author could stand to use a few more commas but there were also half a dozen moments that made me put my phone down and drag my hand slowly over my face and whisper “oh my god” to myself which is like, the ultimate measure of a good fanfiction so it gets to be on the list.

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers, 31.6k, explicit dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas. Have you seen the fanon (apparently pioneered by Mr. Jackles “Original Deankin” Ackles himself) that Dean used to prostitute himself to feed himself and Sam when they were younger? Are you interested in exploring that concept in fanfiction? Well, this is the only fic you need. Mind the tags on this one! It’s not what I’d call happy but it’s good.

Some Assembly Required by narrow_staircases, 47k, mature It’s September of 2005, and Dean Winchester, in an attempt to outrun old mistakes and painful memories, finds himself in southern Kentucky on a wild goose chase. He’s completely certain this weird religious movement he’s “investigating” is a hoax, despite the miraculous healings people report, and he’ll be back on the road in a day or two. Things are looking up when he meets Cas, an awkward (and gorgeous) graduate student who’s actually doing honest-to-god research into the local tent revival meetings. When that research takes a weird and personal turn, Dean’s left to face two very serious realities: one, this may be a real case after all, and two, he’s fallen way harder for Cas than he should ever have let himself. Stanford-era AU of Dean trying to avoid his father and getting in over his head on a case.

Alternate universe:

And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets, 57k, mature Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The  professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen. Mundane AUs in this fandom have to be really, really good to catch my attention and this one is! It’s exactly what it says in the summary and the characterization is spot-on. 

Out to Drift by deathbanjo, 20.9k, mature Dean drives a black car with a loud engine. He lies too easily. He keeps a gun in the back of his jeans, and Castiel isn’t sure, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Dean has killed someone before. Two people in fucked-up unstable situations meeting and forming a connection. Honestly guys I really just love deathbanjo.

[vina-writes]

Ten Favorite Drarry Fic Recs

I’ve reached a bit of a follower milestone, and I thought, why not celebrate? I’m happy! This is an incredible feeling that I honestly can’t fully articulate in writing. Knowing someone enjoyed my work and presence enough that they’d want to be notified if I posted again just makes me squeal and want to hug everyone from joy!! Thank you to anyone who has ever left me kudos, a comment, a tag, a note, an emoji, a tag emoji!! I am endlessly grateful to you all for this support and kindness.

Now, since it’s party time, I’ve compiled a personal list of my ten favorite Drarry fics to share the love. This is by no means a stamp of quality (as there are thousands of brilliant fics out there) and neither is it a guarantee that these are everyone’s cup of tea. But they are certainly my cup of tea— my whole buffet honestly.

I chose fics that made me feel deeply. Fics that made me cry, laugh, throw my phone, squeal and wiggle and dance at the end. These (mostly) weren’t fics which answered deep philosophical questions. They were fics which instead showed me love and adventure, joys and betrayals, misunderstandings and occasionally unbelievable (but appreciated) levels of smut (you know who you are). These are stories I read to be entertained, entranced, delighted, and happy. These are stories that made me feel in love.

In honor of that (and of my Canva addiction) I’ve made little banners for each. I hope they do some justice to these works. I’ve tried to capture the feeling of each fic in just one image. Without further ado, read on to find out exactly what my guilty pleasure (as if Drarry isn’t enough) is:

The Songbirds of Avebury Manor by Tessa Crowley [E, 18k] 

Summary: Harry Potter presents as alpha at fifteen, and it is supposed to change his life for the better. Instead, it leads him to a beautiful noble omega he cannot have, a political plot he cannot escape, and a threat on his life.

This story. Oh my stars, this story. What can I even say to properly express how I feel about it? This is the Romeo and Juliet, the Pride and Prejudice, the Hades and Persephone of Drarry. Reading this made me feel like an unwedded Victorian lass waiting for her Prince Charming. It’s a wonderful Historical AU that throws around power dynamics and questions of who is worthy of love, freedom, and respect despite them. This is a brilliant portrait of deep romantic love. Harry’s dedication to Draco is all-encompassing, beautiful, intense, intimate— earth shattering, really. The way they fall in love despite class and situation made me want to cry and write poetry. This is a true fairytale romance.

The Pirate and the Prince by @nerdherderette​, maniacani [E, 49k]

Summary: Draco can't believe that fate and circumstance have made him a stowaway on the Master of Death's ship. He doesn't know what's worse: the dread pirate's legendary vendetta against the aristocracy, or the fact that his captor is the most infuriating yet irrefutably fascinating man Draco has ever met.

The moment I started this story I knew it was going to be an instant favorite. It’s swashbuckling, debonair yet disheveled, dangerous, fun, adventurous— everything you could desire from a romance on the high seas! Though they come from very different backgrounds, this Draco and Harry are a power couple to the core. Their romance is once again beautiful, intense, and dedicated, but this time it’s mixed with a healthy dose of self-exploration and mutual acceptance. But apart from romance this fic holds delicious secrecy and identity issues, an astounding knowledge of sailing ships, plenty of piratey shenanigans, some heart-wrenching found family dynamics, a cursing parrot, and a glorious angst with a happy ending finale! 

Soup-pocalypse and the Great Curry Cataclysm by SquadOfCats [E, 104k]

Summary: Eleven years after the war, Draco Malfoy leads a quiet, boring, and perfectly respectable life, thanks very much. Or, at least he does, until a sudden and very unexpected veela awakening causes him to throw soup all over Harry Potter in the middle of the Ministry cafeteria.

What can I say about Soup-pocalypse? It will lure you in with tales of Veelas and romance, and then it will kidnap you and throw you in cooking class and therapy. You’ll come out wondering what just happened and how two days have passed. There will, of course, be Veelas and romance aplenty, but it will be a caring romance, a familial romance, a supportive and kind and nurturing romance. This story feels like family, good cooking, sunny days, the deep heartbreak of change, and through all of it, the truth of a real and solid partnership. This is the humorous yet angst-ridden tale of two idiots learning to love as adults, and then in turn learning to face the world together.

you’ve got the antidote for me by Kandakickass [M, 20k]

Summary: When Harry Potter unintentionally severs their soulbond before it can fully form, Draco Malfoy resigns himself to a slow death and decides not to burden Harry with a soulmate he's made it very clear he doesn't want.

He's never been selfless before, but for Harry, he can try.

Right then. On to the angstiest story I’ve ever read and truly enjoyed. Not just enjoyed, adored! Worshipped! Come back to time and again whenever I needed a good cry! Here is the beauty of it: this fic is deeply painful and heartbreaking, yet it steers clear of emotions like disgust and discomfort. Never once was it disturbing— only sorrowful, in the purest and most heart-wrenching way. Yet despite the pain strung throughout the majority of it, this fic left me feeling relieved and rejuvenated, the way one feels after crying their heart out over something simple. It’s an emotional release that does not leave you broken.

On the Last Day of Our World by Sansa [E, 84k]

Summary: During a detention, Harry and Draco get locked in a strange room together overnight. When they escape the next morning, they discover they are alone. Love, angst and adventure abound as they struggle to survive in an empty world.

Truly one of my favorite takes on canon divergence. Truly. This is an exploration of isolation and the joys and comforts that come with it. It is the power couple Drarry to rule them all— a Draco and Harry so strongly connected, in love, and attuned to one another that the world could fall at their feet. This story leaves you on the edge of your seat until the very bitter end— one of those where the second things are briefly peaceful the world goes up in a new set of flames. Those of you who daydream about a partnership that needs no others, two souls who are each other’s family, friend, and future, and would gladly abandon everything to spend eternity alone together: this is for you.

The Arc of the Pendulum by brummel [E, 30k]

Summary: After his father casts a mysterious curse on Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy is forced to try to make things right.

Yes. YES. YES!!! The Beauty and the Beast take you didn’t know you needed! Still canon-compliant to an extent, this is realistic and raw and incredible. Draco makes the choice to help Harry here, and the vulnerability of their interactions while Harry struggles with the curse is everything you could hope it to be. There’s a distinct fairytale atmosphere in this fic— both of them confined together, finding support and comfort in one another while struggling through the effects of the curse, and falling in love along the way. I could write sonnets about the ending using my tears for ink, but they shan’t be revealed here.

Picking Up Pieces by Tessa Crowley [E, 43k]

Summary of Part One: Fifteen years after the War, Draco is a social recluse and award winning author. Harry is an auror who works too hard, ensuring his old war wounds never heal. They meet at a masque ball, unaware of each other's identities. In another situation, it would have been love at first sight. But for them, it would never be so simple.

Picking Up Pieces deserves no introduction, but if you haven’t read it yet, please find a blanket, and cup of tea, and a quiet place to read, cry, and recover. I sobbed my little heart out through the entire second half— the tears were really never ending. How does it end up on a reclist by a fluff lover like me? The answer is similar to Antidote— though this story broke me apart, it was never twisted nor ugly, never disturbing. It was an incredibly touching tale of redemption, forgiveness, human nature, and recompense. The writing does put you through the emotional wringer, but it leaves you relieved and whole. I would lay down my life for this Draco. He truly needs to be protected and loved at all costs. Even though I’m usually careful when recommending heavy stories, I would encourage everyone to read this— it made me feel new, it made me feel like I’d spent an hour crying in the shower, but most of all, it really did make me happy.

Two Trees by LakeWitch [E, 36k]

Summary (shortened): In his Eighth year at Hogwarts, part of Draco Malfoy's probation is to see a Mind Healer once a week. Another part, unfortunately, is having to take Muggle Studies.

It wouldn't be so bad, really, if it weren't for the mandatory outing—a 'field trip'—booked at a Muggle lakeside retreat for the better part of five days. [...] Draco is determined to get it all over with as painlessly as possible. He'll keep his head down, and stay out of everyone's way. That is, until Pansy tells him—at the very last moment—that she's schemed to have Draco stay in the same room with Potter for the whole trip.

Just the two of them... in one room.

This is the comfort fic of all comfort fics. It feels like camping, like sitting by a lake in the sun, like marshmallows over a fire and sparks against a starry sky, and cool, feather-soft hotel sheets. Draco is dealing with several different anxieties here, but the brilliant setting and easy plot turn them into a cathartic read. This is a fic about young love and the ability to build bonds on trips. It made me remember my first crushes and the feeling of getting breakfast in a hotel lobby. There’s cuddling, there’s love, there’s some highly emo Draco (both warranted and unwarranted), and there’s a truckload of nature. Go read it!

Your Place Or Mine? by @l0vegl0wsinthedark​ [E, 26k]

Summary: "This person is so much harder to hate. And I’m supposed to hate Malfoy. How the fuck else am I supposed to limit this to just sex?" 

At first I was like, “Damn, Harry,” but then I was all, “Damn Harry!” but then I went, “DAMN Harry!” (interspersed with a lot of whistling and cursing). I could have slapped him, and you will want to. This is another Draco that deserves endless love and hot chocolate, with a Harry that deserves a good smack. I think about this fic weekly, and not just because it’s endlessly hot— although it is scorching hot, like how do you even write something that hot type of hot. Draco’s pining and Harry’s stupidity makes for the angstiest yet most satisfying friends-with-benefits-but-really-there’s-more combination, and the climax (pun intended) and resulting spill of emotions is everything anyone could hope for. Ten out of ten.

The Courting by the Pureblood Who Only Has Five Milligrams of Romantic Intelligence and Thinks He’s Real Smooth by @cibeewastaken​ [T, 19k]

Summary (shortened): Draco could grab Potter and shove him into a stall before proceeding to suck his soul out of his dick, but secretly, deep down, in the part of Draco that he will never admit to anyone, he is (everyone pauses to shudder) a romantic. Potter is not someone Draco wants a one-off with. Potter is — Draco’s beloved!

So Draco decides to boldly go where no one has gone before: to put himself through scrutiny; their friends’ teasing and pranks; unsound romantic advice from a house-elf; wearing pretty clothes; all to try and win Potter’s heart through courtship...

This thing of beauty is exactly as hilarious as it sounds. However, it is so much more than the endless laughs (although there are many). It is sweet, tender, touching, and filled with glorious pining and misunderstandings. Inside you’ll find extravagant (the word was literally invented for Cibee’s Draco) outfits, confusing customs, a blanket that brought me to tears, one badass house-elf, one very confused beloved, absolutely no fornication (wink), and one hopelessly smitten pureblood. Be warned, this fic is actually three “What the fuck, Draco?”s in a trenchcoat. I read it when I want to laugh, facepalm, and submerge myself in the adorable stupidity that is Draco Malfoy in love. It is well worth your time and is sure to bring a smile to your face.

With this final fic we conclude my list on a happy note! It’s long, it’s tedious, and I had a spanking good time writing it. I hope these bring some joy or happy tears to your day.

Love, Vina 

[thunderheadfred]

🤚Shigaraki HC's🤚

Part 1 of my Shigaraki Thesis HCs. The Second Worst: 1 - 2

This was rough because even though Shigaraki is one of my favorite characters of all time, I have nothing sexy to say about him canonically.

that's a lie, i'm lying. i had to break this post into parts, that's how much of a liar liar pants on fire i am

Warnings for quite possibly everything. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

Okay first of all:

You know it. I know it. We all know it. This man is not boyfriend material. He disintegrates boyfriend material for fun.

You don’t want to date this man.

Frankly, you can’t date this man.

Seriously. Run.

If you’re a villain, you’re his underling. Maybe, if you squint, you’re kind of like his... um... least-hated workplace associate. What do you want, a trophy?

If you’re a hero, good luck not dying horribly. Maybe you’d make a cute hostage. Hope you can escape cuz he is NOT letting you out alive.

If you’re a civilian, perhaps that’s the best case scenario. He stalks you a little before he becomes infamous. You go on the worst date of your life but luckily you don't tell him where you live. Later you see him on the news standing in a pile of rubble and you just think, “ohhhhhhh.”

If he somehow, impossibly, against all odds, manages to develop a single affectionate feeling toward you, AFO is going to hunt you down for sport. You are NOT getting in the way of world domination. Again, good luck with that.

If somehow you managed to clear all those hurdles and kiss Shigaraki Tomura square on the lips, I can see one of two things happening.

1) You’re his body pillow now. Goodbye sunlight. You live in his room. He doesn’t have to chain you to the bed, because you know escape is pointless. Congratulations, the end is nigh.

2) Total mind break. At the first sign of genuine human affection, his trauma vault is instantly unlocked. Memories come rushing in, his quirk goes nuts. There’s like a 99.9% chance he’ll accidentally kill you and it will destroy his soul forever. But let’s say you’re the lucky 0.01% - then it’s time to fuck off together to a foreign country. He’s terrified, traumatized, and possibly broken beyond repair, but I guess he’s not a villain anymore? Have fun nursing him back to... semi-sanity.

Moral of the story: you’re better off getting hit with a quirk that takes you to an alternate universe where the worst thing Shimura Tenko ever did was throw a Playstation controller at his sister’s head. He’s an aspiring video game journalist with zero charisma and severe self-image issues. He has no earthly idea how hot he is. Please, for the love of God, fall for that guy instead.

haha just kidding

join me in hell, fellow Shigaraki fuckers:

- - - - -

Scenario the first:

so apparently you enjoy living in a cage?

Listen. He does not smell right. He doesn’t need to bathe much because his skin is constantly annihilating itself. So he’s not exactly dirty, but every instinct in your body is screaming in confusion, unsure if he’s alive or dead.

Breath of the damned. Sweet as moldy lemons. Whatever he eats just... rots. He doesn't produce enough spit.

He will kiss you very deeply. Until you choke. Forget the cold, chapped lips because they're the least of your problems. He's got those skeleton hands caging your face and you're trapped against a wall and his gigantic biting teeth are prying you open. He licks inside your mouth like he's trying to steal your soul. He'll probably succeed.

His hair is exactly as soft as it looks. Too bad you'll never get to touch it.

He’s either got no sexual impulses at all and will laugh at you for trying, or he’s a full-on incel. I don’t know which one. I don’t want to find out. Apparently you do, and I salute your resolve.

You will be lucky if Shigaraki treats you like a pet. He loves his Nintendo DS more than you.

Consent is not applicable. You showed interest in him once, now you're his plaything forever. There's a power imbalance between you so wide you could chuck a planet in there.

Safewords? lol

Doesn't want to break you, because what would be the point? He's already broken enough things. He wants to keep you around for a good long while. He'll take good, good care of you.

Unless you disobey.

Obsessed with making you cum whether you want to or not. Yes, this IS a high score thing. It's just so flattering. Say hello, orgasm torture. Was that another one? Aww. You barely moved. Oh, what's that? You're begging him to stop? Haha. He won't.

Don't cry. He'll drink your tears.

He'll touch you everywhere with bare fingers. Slow, feather-light strokes, like some kind of demented ASMR artist. This is not a trust exercise. He knows exactly how much it terrifies you.

Oh yeah. You're getting finger FUCKED. Do you fantasize about having a loaded gun shoved inside you? Same difference.

Will eat you out like nothing else, but not in bed. That's the kind of shit he does on a boardroom table where anybody could walk in and see you writhing. Spreads you WIDE open and sucks on you. Makes out with your asshole. The whole nine yards. It's wet and loud and nasty.

Only time you're out of his sight (and not locked in your room) is when he shoves a remote control vibrator where the sun doesn't shine. Operates it through an app while he calls you and jerks off. Wants to make your knees fail on a crowded train.

Come here. You get to sit on his lap like a dog. Four fingers on your throat, dick hard under your ass. He'll dry hump you in front of God, the Devil, and everyone else.

If he's playing video games, you're cock-warming. He does not care which hole. He won't even look at you.

He might get hard but he does not get naked. You do not know Shigaraki Tomura on a personal level. You have only the vaguest idea what his dick looks like. It feels long and thin, almost sharp. Maybe he's actually been fucking you with an ice pick this whole time. His hip bones dig into you and bruise. He likes to kiss and bite the marks he leaves.

He mocks you for being so fucking pathetic. Have you always been a such a needy slut or is he really that special? What is wrong with you? Even he thinks you're crazy.

Shigaraki won't kill you, but All For One will.

- - - - -

The Second Worst Scenario:

The half-mad ghost of Shimura Tenko is in love with you, and your life is about to become a tragic wreck.

(this half of the post went completely off the rails and turned into like... a whole-ass Victorian Novel)