#hes a nerd hes a freak he likes knitting hes judging you for what order you eat the food on your plate

[dadbastiandisaster]

Fuck it

🕸️🕷️✨Claude headcanons✨🕷️🕸️

Yes i know his characterisation is utter shit and yes i am taking a marie kondo approach to the s2 canon

Sebastian had at least been around humans before his contract, so he at least had a passing idea of how to Human. Claude had not. Only interacted with humans ever if murder counts.

He’s actually short-sighted (someone on a wattpad book Black Butler Headcanons I can’t find for the life of me because wattpad utterly fucked up their search system suggested this was because his true form has eight eyes and I love it. I think the person who wrote it was called something like ‘The King Fisher’, so if that sounds familiar, say and I’ll tag you)

He has very little concept of social norms. Alois will be like ‘men are supposed to wear trousers and women are supposed to wear skirts >:(‘ and claude will be like

They’re both coming at the ‘gender is bullshit’ thing from two very different places

Sebastian is over-achieving as far as Claude’s concerned. He’s got three other Demons working for him and he’s going to make the most of it, there is no benefit from doing more than he has to.

He has mixed feeling about Alois. On the one hand he does know that Alois’ situation is not great and has even grown somewhat fond of him (platonically i swear to fuck some people in this fandom) but on the other there are few people on the planet less equipped to help than him.

Jokes aside, I imagine it’s a he/they/it situation, but it’s the Victorian era so Alois was like ‘well you’re probably not a woman so unfortunately that leaves you with one other option’ and Claude was like ‘that’s fine, how long could these contract things last anyway?’

His life pre-contract was basically just surviving in Hell, which has left him with extensive knowledge of nature and no sense of identity

Hates people, loves animals!

Took the contract more out of curiosity than anything else. He fucked around and found out!

Most of Alois and his contract is ‘if you have no idea what you’re supposed to be doing and I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing who’s driving this ship?’

The answer is Hannah obviously

My interpretation of the Hannah-Claude situation is that Claude (somehow) knows that Hannah killed Alois’ brother and that chasing after Sebastian is totally pointless, but if he tells Alois, Hannah will kill him (I hc Hannah as a very old, very powerful Demon). Hannah obviously doesn’t want Alois to find out the truth, so she has to sabotage quite a lot of Alois’ plans (which Claude has to carry out, so it makes his life a lot harder, which is Not A Vibe as far as Claude’s concerned)

Plus Hannah is like ‘actually you’re doing a shit job with Alois’ (true) ‘and if I had this contract instead of you he would be fine’ (not true)

Sort of mid-level Demon. Like he’s in pretty good health (aside from the crappy eyesight) but he’s not especially skilled in combat. He’s just sort of meh.

He likes knitting, crocheting, sewing, lace-making etc because it’s similar to web-building and he finds it relaxing

Sebastian fucking hates him after the Ciel kidnapping incident but the hatred is entirely one-sided. Claude does not give a singular shit about Sebastian, just thinks he’s (as the kids say) a bit of a try-hard

Knows for a Fact that Alois is a lot smarter than he lets on. Doesn’t rat him out on it though, he doesn’t get paid extra to be a snitch, and he’d probably do the same if the situation allowed

I’m torn between ‘totally non-judgemental’ and ‘is a massive bitch’, so I think it’s both. Totally non-judgemental is he’s ambivalent to/likes you, if he dislikes you he is judging you on everything you do right down to how you butter your toast and will chat shit behind your back

Even he didn’t like the previous Earl Trancy

Really not a fan of physical affection

I think if he and Aunt Frances met, it would be a case of unstoppable force (Aunt Frances knowing that Claude is doing 10000 things wrong and cutting so many corners he now has a circle) vs immovable object (Claude doesn’t care). The Sebastian - Aunt Frances dynamic heavily relies on Sebastian caring about her opinion and Claude simply does not have that problem.

Unlike Sebastian, he sometimes sleeps.

I don’t think he’s aro/ace he’s just never really had much of a chance to explore any of that,

Anyway, I will stop for now, this is already very long. I might make ones for Hannah and the Triplets because I will simply never stop talking about the kuro demons

[jornami]

Hamilton High School AU!

A/N: I'm so excited for this! With every person’s headcanon there's a little something about me too!

Request: no one asked for this, but did that stop me from writing it? No

Let's start with Aaron because he is me

He freaks out about his grades. He checks them three times a day. Minimum.

He once tried to go the whole winter break without checking his grades.

Spoiler alert: he lasted for three hours

One time he got a 69 on a math test

He freaked

He started looking up McDonald's applications and told all his friends that he could kiss his dreams of college goodbye

I actually did this. He actually did this.

He's also in debate club

Him and Alexander argue the whole time every single meeting

Student Body President

The other members have renamed it “The HamiltonBurr Discourse Club”

Let's do Eliza next, shall we?

She's in chorus and she outshines everyone

She auditioned for District Chorus and got in of course

She has the hugest crush on Alexander and none of friends know why

She has straight A’s

She packs her lunch strategically

Her sandwiches are always perfectly cut

she has her carrots and hummus in a container that looks like this

she always puts a napkin on the table and on her lap

All the teachers love her

Got all her community service hours done her freshman year

She's that girl that's so perfect you just wanna punch her but you can't because she's so kind

Let’s give it up for the baddest female in town, Angelica Schuyler 

No one messes with Angelica Schuyler

She eats fuckboys for breakfast

She's in Social Justice Club

She got kicked out of history class for saying, “America is a hierarchical structure that was built by sexist white men.”

And let's just say they definitely had something to say to talk about in the next Social Justice meeting

Also got kicked out of English class the next week for saying, “Well, excuse me for thinking that we should read books by a variety of authors not just old, dead white men!”

I love her. She's my hero

I'm not even going in any specific order at this point, so I'm going to talk about Gwash!!!

He's the sexy math teacher that everybody wants

He wears button ups and rolls up his sleeves,,, and,,,, his hands,,, they’re so big and,,,,I,,,, lost all ability to for,m sentences,,,,

He's clueless to the fact that everybody wants him

“Wow class! I've never had such a big turnout for after school SAT prep!1!1!”

Poor baby, he's clueless, protect him, okay?

Calls Alexander son

Next up, my sweet sunshine, my cinnamon roll, my curly haired freckled faced cutie, JOHN LAURENS!!

He's in Social Justice Club too

He loves to doodle !!!

He's gotten so many points taken off for classwork for doodling on the side of them

His binders are filled Polaroids of his friends and pictures of sloths

Common misconception: his favorite animal isn’t turtles; it's sloths!!!

He's notorious for taking naps in class???

“John what's the answer to number 6?”

“Uh, y=7x-8”

“John, this is Spanish class.”

Yeah,,,he never lived that down

Thomas motherfucking Jefferson

He's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs

He packs Mac and cheese with ketchup 3 out of 5 days of the school week

Shows up to class late

Goes on random tangents in Debate Club and ends them with

“And if you don't know, now you know.”

Never goes anywhere without his sidekick/echo/lap dog James Madison

Theatre nerd

“Today I'll be performing a monologue for A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare.”

Then continues to recite the monologue until the teach interrupts and says,

“Young man, I asked for your name.”

Starts speaking in French for no reason at random times,,,,,????

“Mr. Jefferson, answer the question in English or go see Mr. Seabury in the office.”

“Peu importe.”

Complains about school but is getting all A’s

Yay! Time for Maria!

She's super introverted

She writes poetry and music and sits in the chorus room during lunch to focus

She writes like she's running out of time

She can sing her ass off

Always afraid that she's going to get the answer wrong but always ends up getting it right

She is quiet, but she's definitely judging you

She very shy and gets intimidated very easily

Angelica always stands up for her

Lafayette! Ladies! Lafayette!

Uses his French accent to get what he wants

Also uses French to confuse people

He's sort of a rebel??

“Laf, we can't make out in the dressing rooms!”

“Shhhh, you worry too much.”

Is also a theatre nerd

Is the only person getting an A+ in AP French

throws raging parties when his parents aren't home

Despite his rebel ways, he's getting straight A's

And Peggy, of course!

Went through a phase in middle school where she wore headgear

They called her metal mouth even when she got it off

She hit her glow up freshman year and every guy was throwing

themselves at her

She's the person who finds the quizlet for the whole test online

Then people are asking how she got an A on the hardest test of the year

She'll never tell

She's in theatre and she always end up in the ensemble even though she deserves a starring role

Also in district chorus

Eats in the middle of class????

They’ll be taking a test and all you hear is a bag crumpling

She once brought peanut butter crackers and started coughing up a lung because they were so dry and got caught in her throat

help her

B rahhh B rahhh it’s Hercules Mulligan

Is the king of Home Ec

Knitted all his teachers scarves for Christmas

Looks like a jock but is really a big softie

A model student™

Hates math class with every fiber of his being

 Tutors people for fun

And last, and definitely least: Alexander Hammy Ham

If Mr. Washington calls him son one more time he's going to wild out

His spam account on Instagram is mostly rants about Mr. Washington

Don't let this fool you...he loves Mr. Washington

Turns Debate Club meetings into rap battles

Incapable of answering a question without going on a tangent

“Mr. Hamilton we get it. Please, sit down.”

Laughs at Burr for freaking out over his grades but also freaks out about his grades

Oblivious to the fact that Eliza likes him

Only eats nachos from the cafeteria

Has his name displayed on the “Perfect SOL Score Wall” multiple times

Hates Shakespeare with a burning passion

smarter than most of the teachers