Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
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thinking about how kim dokja thinks he's alone in the world and there is no one in the world who understands him or can possibly understand him.
but. there yoo sangah is. yoo sangah who discusses literature with him. yoo sangah who understands kim dokja bc she is very perceptive about people and very empathetic and also bc they have the kind of friendship where words aren't needed. yoo sangah who read every book in the library about kim dokja bc she was genuinely interested in her friend's life and bc she wanted to understand him. yoo sangah who figured out it was 49 and not real kdj and figured out what he did but didn't say a word bc she understood and respected his decision even though she wanted her friend back more than anything.
yoo sangah who witnessed his mundanity and monstrosity both, and loved him either way. loves him despite every irredeemable quality he thinks he has. yoo sangah who wants to be his best friend in every lifetime and live together right next to each other. yoo sangah, his best friend who understands him without words.
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Madam Yu is so much of a character in so little space, it's fantastic, and it's funny to me being also in the Scum Villain fandom because. She is very much set up on the same character framework as Shen Jiu. She's that same Kind Of A Guy.
But ofc her trauma foundation is in being a proud woman in a world that does not value womanhood, and without the social skills to get anyone to forgive her for it. So she's less violently fucked up than he is.
But like him, she's all twisted up around the sensation that her suffering is her own fault for being the wrong sort of person. Which is an unutterably fucking corrosive mindset.
And I really think that she doesn't in the least believe that her husband loved or had an affair with Cangse Sanren. She's humiliated that other people believe it, and furious that he's encouraged them to, but she doesn't think it's true.
What she thinks is that Jiang Fengmian liked Cangse Sanren. As a person.
And of course, he doesn't like her. Because who could? Yu Ziyuan is not the sort of person people like.
And then Jiang Cheng, her son who takes after her, is basically just an extension of herself. So obviously, his father doesn't like him, either.
And she says this. Out loud, in front of him. While having honestly a really embarrassing meltdown.
I'm sure one of the things driving it is worry, because as she'd just acknowledged even though she's now blaming her husband about it they have to send either Jiang Cheng or Jiang Yanli into the hands of the Wen or face reprisals, which she doesn't want to face either, and obviously Jiang Yanli would be toast.
But if your response to worrying about your kid is to make fun of him, yell at him, shame him, and shout that his father doesn't love him in a weird tantrum before storming out and going to your room where he isn't allowed, you are failing as a parent on such a fantastic variety of levels idk where to start.
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has anyone gotten the idea that odysseus' storyline in hades 2 is a depiction/exploration of trauma over his SA and how he's blaming himself for things that were out of his control? because that's the impression i'm getting from what i've seen. he talks about "goddesses" as his "greatest weakness" and that "he's not one to say no to them"...
when mel invites him to the bath, he brings up mortals having different standards for intimacy than gods and how it usually has a more romantic/sexual connotation. she then asks if he's uncomfortable and he has a startled reaction and brings up circe and calypso again (but never actually by name)
(this isn't ship/romance bait btw. odysseus knew mel as a kid and they're stated in-game to have a sibling/uncle-niece relationship)
also he grew apart from penelope after his return, but the game makes a point of showing that his love for penelope and telemachus is what drove him on at all so that element of his character isn't brought into question
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