#the way Jesper broke down after she walked away

[kinreads]

No I’m ok, it’s just the way that Jesper is probably one of the first men that Inej has felt safe with since the menagerie and Inej is one of the only people who loves Jesper fully and unconditionally regardless of his faults and now they have to leave each other for separate goals that got me for a second there

[lady-ashfade]

Just a pawn

Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

Notes: kinda wanna make a part two..but maybe I just will leave it here.

Warning: Angst, heartbreak, no comfort, short, cursing, I wanna hug the reader.

This was exactly what you signed yourself up for, you tried to stop it. Telling yourself to bury the feeling deep down so you couldn’t get hurt, you hated feeling weak and this was exactly what you expected. You knew he would crush your heart, that you would wait for the end of time for him, just for him to feeling anything…

Anything other then anger.

“Don’t you walk away from me!” He shouted from behind you as your back was turned. You bit the inside of your cheek ready to cry and scream in anger. Spinning yourself you glare at him, his face dirty and sweat dripping and he looked as miserable as always. “Or what, Brekker?” You stepped closer, never letting your anger slip.

“Because we both know you can’t afford to let me go, who else would you have to throw in harms way? Inej, oh not your wraith. Jesper? Not him, your charming shooter. Nina, wylan, Matthias? Because for fuck sake he risk anyone he doesn’t care about!” You shouted as loud as you could, actually hoping everyone could hear you in ketterdam.

“Don’t you shout at me, this wasn’t my fault. We got the job done so stop yelling like this.” He groaned out. You laughed and put on a smile, “Oh thank the saints! We got the job done, so glad my almost death was worth it.” You cheered while putting your hands up.

Kaz looked at you with a glare and stood up straight not having the slightest bit of amusement from you. “For fuck sake, I had a plan. Yes you almost died but that happens on jobs like these. You came to me remember? You signed yourself up for this.”

You sighed yourself up for everything.

“No, I did not. If jesper wouldn’t have acted fast I would have fell from the building, nothing under me or could stop me from hitting the ground. I knew i could die on these jobs,” you went quieter and your eyes become heavy and flickering with tears, “what I didn’t know is that I would be used as a target to just toss around. Each time it’s always me who almost dies and you tell me to do it.”

He glare softens and his jaw unclenches it self. “I don’t toss you for you to die. You know that.” But did you? Did he ever give you a reason to believe that? “I actually don’t, kaz. I know nothing of what you feel or care about other then yourself.” The words cutting him like a knife. She wasn’t yelling or shouting but speaking to him in such a hurt tone.

“I know you know how I feel about you, kaz. I tried to hide it but it was just too hard, and I thought when you looked back at me- That you felt the same way I did.” You laughed and wiped the tears rolling down your face, “Funny huh? It was pathetic of me to believe that. Because you never could care for me like I want you to, you can’t even treat me like something other then a pawn.”

He couldn’t say anything, couldn’t do anything as she broke in front of him. She didn’t know that it was her he cared about the most and it scare him how deep his feelings went. He pushed her away each time to not let the feeling take over, always yelling at her or moving her around. And it killed him to know he could never pull her close and touch her skin.

“Nothing to say? Fine, I’ll talk for the both of us. I’m leaving and when I come back we will forget this ever happen. You wouldn’t speak to me other then on a job, no glances from across the room. Nothing but acquaintances.” Speaking clearly with her mind made up.

Kax watched her walk away to the door and all he wanted to do was go after her and make her stay with him, tell her just how much he cares for her. But she could never know, he could never give her what she deserves. He stepped closer and his body moving on its own, but he forced himself still. You turned around and looked at him half way out the door, a sad smile on your lips and glossy eyes.

“Goodbye, kaz.” And then he lost sight of you and his heart shattered. He knew this was your way of saying goodbye to the way it was between the two of you. It was never going to be the same, a goodbye to him as yourself. He huffed and turned around to clear his deck of everything on it in anger. He shouted and slammed his hands on the table knowing it could very well be goodbye forever.

“You never were a pawn.” He sighed to himself like he was talking to your ghost. Everything he wanted to say.

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

The Phoenix and the Crow

pairing: (future/in the making) kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: neutural

el's thoughts: i loved writing this one! i can't wait to continue this series! *whispers* nikolai fics will also be out soon. reblogs and comments are always appreciated :)

masterlist

The smog of the city only worsened in the new part the trio was walking through. Y/N’s wrists ached from the metal shackles and her nose never relaxed as she scanned their surroundings for any signs of… Anything. “Who said Ketterdam was a good place to visit? Whoever said that has never been here.”

“We are in the literal bottom of the Barrel.” Jesper’s voice also held a tone of disgust.

“Stadwatch don’t patrol down here. We’re safer.” Y/N noticed Kaz’s limp seemed slightly worse, but he tried to hide it as he leaned more on his cane. “Inej, what did you find?”

Jesper jumped slightly when Inej walked up on his other side. ‘She is the Wraith for a reason then…’

“We’ve been framed for the murder of Tante Heleen.” 

“Wait, what? We didn’t do that though.” Jesper said, exasperated. He turned to Kaz with wide eyes, “Wait, did you do that?” 

The pieces of their story finally started to click together. Hired by a merchant, but really it was Sturmhond, to kidnap the Sun Summoner and failed. Kaz gave Tante Heleen the shares to the Crow Club in order for Inej to come with them and leaves. All of this for a million kruge. Overall, they come back in slightly worse shape than when they left and find out that all hell broke loose while their presence was absent. They lost their club and are now left with nothing, leaving them on the run with Y/N to follow. ‘Some vacation’. 

“It was Pekka Rollins, wasn’t it? He framed us for murder.” Kaz spat out the name like it was the vilest thing he could say. As if the name itself was a curse.

Y/N knew the feeling. Someone you hated but it was much deeper than just hate. It was someone you despised, someone who did you wrong far beyond unforgivable. The Darkling. The way Kaz said Pekka’s name is the same way she would say General Kirigan’s. 

“He wanted to punish us,” Inej finally spoke up. “For taking the job after he warned you off.”

“But why take it out on Tante Heleen?” Jesper asked, half lost in the conversation causing Y/N to roll her eyes herself.

“She held the deed to the Crow Club. We cut a deal so Inej could help us with the Sun Sumoner, so Rollins killed her.” 

Jesper and Inej shared a look, “He owns the club. Everyone who works there now works for Pekka Rollins.” She held her wrist, “There’s more.” She pulled her sleeve and showed the small feather tattoo inked into her skin. 

Regret washed over Kaz’s face, “The Menagerie.”

“He owns that now too. Along with everything else the Menagerie owns.” Y/N placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder. Inej leaned slightly closer to her, glancing at her in thanks for the warm comfort.

“So, Stadwatch are everywhere and Pekka’s untouchable. Never thought I’d miss the Fold.”

“You don’t.” Y/N’s voice was quiet but held a sharp edge to it. Kirigan’s face flashed in her mind and she gritted her teeth. She mentally tuned in and out of the conversation between Inej and Kaz, only taking note of the man’s stubbornness and refusal to her the girl out.

“I’ll take care of it.” He snapped at her, “This isn’t your fight now. It’s mine.” He limped forward, walking away from the small group, his cane clicking with every other step.

“I’m not leaving you.” Inej went after him with Jesper following. Y/N walked slowly behind them, eyes still wandering around their surroundings. “Not now.” They all stood by his side once again when he looked down in both frustration and annoyance. 

Silence settled around them before Y/N spoke up, “Don’t push them away, Brekker. They’re all you have at the moment. plus what happens to Saints is fate.” She felt a pit in her stomach at the thought of Alina “What happens here is up to you.”

“It’s up to us. You’re with us now whether you like it or not.” Jesper smiled at her softly.

“Fine. But stay in the shadows, both of you.” Kaz looked between the Wraith and the sharpshooter. “We reconvene in two bells at the end of Rozenstraat. Look for the workshop around the back.”

“Where are you going?” Inej called out to him.

“I need a Heartrender for what comes next. One who isn’t already owned by Pekka. Ears open for one.” He threw a glance at Y/N before turning to limp away. “Y/N… With me.” 

The inferni sighed, followed after Dirtyhands, and muttered to herself, “This ‘ought to be fun.”

~

“So we just… Wait here for your explosives expert?” She got no response and sighed, “I’m not gonna bite you if you talk to me, you know? It’d be nice to carry a small conversation.” All she received was a sharp side-eye. She rolled her own eyes and walked to the long table where bottles and glass containers littered the area. Footsteps were finally heard echoing through the hall and she moved back to stand behind Kaz. 

A boy who looked much younger than he probably was walked down the few steps and moved to take off his backpack. 

“Wylan.”

The boy jumped in surprise and turned around to face Kaz. “You’re alive.”

“Thanks in part to you.” The clicking of his cane sounded with every other step as the slightly taller of the two moved to the long table. 

“The Stadwatch are after you.” Wylan’s voice was a higher pitch and held a note of concern. 

Kaz ignored his comment, “How much phosphorus did you pack into that flash bomb? The escape option against the Darkling?” 

“Did you need it? Was it enough?” Y/N felt pity settle in her chest for the boy and his lack of confidence in his own work. 

“Nearly. I need you to make a new package for me.” 

The brown-haired boy hesitated, scratching the back of his neck. “You said that was a one-time thing, not a real step into your world. I was strapped at the time.”

“And now?” Kaz was quick to throw the question at him, causing Y/N to glare harshly at the side of his head. “When was the last time you ate?” The silence gave him the answer he already knew. He picked up a glass bottle filled with a red powder.

“Don’t- don’t touch that specific bottle. You’ll be itching for days.” 

Kaz slowly placed it back down and dusted his gloved hand on his black jacket. He walked to the stairs and nodded for Y/N to follow him. “There will be others arriving shortly. We’ll be back.” And with that he hurried down the hallway.

Y/N smiled kindly back at Wylan, “It was lovely meeting you.”

“Sorry, I don’t know-”

~

The streets were slick with rain, and the city’s smell only worsened as the air grew thicker. “How do you live with such horrible air quality?” Y/N huffed as she kept up with Kaz’s fast walking pace. Even with a limp, he moved quickly. 

“Wait here,” Kaz muttered before walking away swiftly. 

Y/N realized they were back at the Crow Club, well the Kaelish Prince. She stayed close to the wall and crossed her legs waiting for his return. Finally being completely alone, she was left to her thoughts. 

What was she doing here? The most powerful inferni in all of Ravka was now on the run from the Stadwatch with a rag-tag group of criminals. She didn’t belong here and she most certainly didn’t actually have to stay. So why did she stay? Could it be the ache in her chest she felt when she heard more and more of all these people have been through? Was it the soft nature of Inej’s presence that brought her a sense of comfort? Was it the way Jesper smiled at her and she felt like she had her brother again? 

How could a small group of people who have been through so much pain be so welcoming and unwelcoming at the same time? The kindness she received from the two balanced the harsh glares she got from Kaz. Even with the glares, she was intrigued by him. Questions layered in her head, waiting to be let out but she knew better than to question him. She also knew she’d find her answers one way or another, soon enough. 

Kaz stumbled around the corner and walked past her, breaking her out of her thoughts. “Hurry up.”

“Yeah yeah, I’m hurrying.”

~

Y/N recognized Jesper’s voice as the heavy door closed behind her. 

“So this novice is telling me that he’s our new demo man. Raske is better. Or even Pim.”

“Yet Wylan is the one I hired.” Kaz limped down the stairs, Y/N trailing after him. 

Jesper rolled his eyes and sat down on the steps, turning his attention back to the young chemist. “Shouldn’t you be graduating university and, I don’t know, starting a desk job?” 

Kaz pulled out his pocket watch and closed it after hearing the door slide open and close again. “You’re here.”

“With the new Heartrender.”

“Nina Zenik. At your service.”

“Nina!” “Nina Zenik?” Y/N, Inej, and Jesper all spoke at the same time.

The inferni rushed over to the brunette and wrapped her in a tight hug, “Oh, I’ve missed you!” Nina gasped in surprise, “Y/N! What in Saint’s sake are you doing here of all places?” Y/N chuckled, “I thought I needed a vacation. Look where and with who I’ve ended up.” 

Kaz looked between the two grisha. “And how do you two know each other?” 

“The little palace.” They replied together.

Wylan shuffled his feet once the silence settled in the workshop. “Can I get anyone some tea?”

~*~*~*~

taglist: @rachelcarroll1819 @xcharlottemikaelsonx @khaleesihavilliard @simrah1012 @foulkryptonitepeanut @astridyoo15 @queenofshinigamis @peakyispunk @jahayla-parker @maliciousbrekker @writingmysanity @brekkershadowsinger

[rubysunnday]

what do you want from me?

Request by @magpiencrow: accidentally hit unfollow so sorry for the follow notification 😬but anyways I love sentence prompt 15 - I’m thinking some Kaz x reader angst?!

A/N: this fic does allude to sexual assault and to readers time in a pleasure house but nothing that isn't in Six of Crows.

if you like what you read, please donate to my ko-fi if you can! i'm saving up for university and other studenty things.

Walking back to the Slat, no one spoke. Y/N kept to the back of the group, hand pressed to her side, her eyes watching Kaz's every movement.

She'd made a mistake. A human mistake. But to Kaz Brekker, the man who would be king, it was a massive mistake.

Everything had been going fine. Y/N had been hovering outside the house, watching Jesper and Kaz as they broke in to the mapmakers to steal the plans for a Mercher's house.

She'd noticed the man straight away.

It wasn't easy to forget those who had seeked her out at the house for a good time with little care for how she felt about it. Their faces and stayed with her despite how hard she tried to forget.

Y/N had pressed herself to the wall, hiding in the shadows. But he'd seen her. She didn't remember what happened after that, she dissociated as soon as she saw him and the next thing she knew, his hand was around her throat and she couldn't breathe.

And then she fired her revolver.

Kaz had said when he'd bought her out that he wouldn't be able to protect her from the world and that she would have to protect herself - so that was what she did.

One bullet and the man was dead at her feet, blood pooling around him. One bullet and the Stadwatch had come running.

Kaz and Jesper had heard the gunshot and had ran out, thinking the worst - that Y/N had been killed. Jesper had noted the shaking hands, the sweat on her forehead and the glazed look in her eyes but Kaz had been to occupied with the failure of the job and trying to escape the Stadwatch that he'd been oblivious.

He hadn't said a word to Y/N since they'd escaped and reconvened, having decided to cut their losses. Kaz refused to listen to Y/N's explanation and Y/N wasn't mentally prepared to argue with him.

Y/N stopped walking and lifted her hand away from her side. Blood stained her hand, running between her fingers. The man had sliced her with a knife before she'd managed to snap out of her mind and shoot him.

But Y/N didn't want to cause anymore chaos than she already had so, she kept quiet about it, pressing her hand back to her side, taking a deep breath in.

She resumed walking, quickly catching up with Jesper and Inej. Kaz's cane hitting the cobbles was the only sound as they approached the Slat.

"Kaz," Jesper began, not being able to bear the silence any longer, "what do we do now?"

"Now, we go back to the Slat and plan again because someone," Kaz looked over his shoulder at Y/N and gave her a deathly glare, "ruined the plan."

Y/N sighed. "Kaz, if you would just let me explain -"

"There was a plan and you ruined it, Y/N!" Kaz exclaimed, whirling around to face her. "Months of planning ruined because you alerted the Stadwatch by firing a gun. I was clear - no guns. We had a clear entrance and exit and it will take us months to find another way in!"

Y/N threw her hand up. "I give up - there is no reasoning with you! I defended myself yet you are too absorbed with yourself to see that!"

She barged past Kaz, purposefully knocking into his shoulder, and stormed into the Slat, slamming the door behind her.

Once inside, Y/N made it five steps into the building before she had to lean against the wall, panting. She gritted her teeth in pain and looked down at her side, hissing as she pulled the fabric of her shirt off her wound.

The blood made it look worse than it was but it still hurt. Y/N took a deep breath in and stood up again. The back door opened again and Jesper and Inej walked in - Kaz was nowhere to be seen.

"Drink?" Jesper offered, approaching Y/N with a tired smile.

"Please," Y/N replied.

Jesper walked into the kitchen and opened the cupboard, pulling out a bottle of alcohol as Y/N slowly sat down in a chair. Inej sat down next to her, setting Sankt Alina on the table in front of them.

Jesper slid the bottle over to Y/N and she took a big swig from it, trying not to cough as the alcohol ran down her throat.

"What actually happened, Y/N?" Inej asked softly, watching Y/N take another drink.

Y/N swallowed and set the bottle down. "I saw someone who used to be one of my... clients," she said quietly. "He spotted me and the next thing I knew, his hand was around my neck, choking me. I panicked." She sighed, running a hand down her face. "In hindsight -"

"Hindsight doesn't account for trauma, Y/N," Inej replied, her dark eyes full of concern and anger. "Nothing accounts for what we went through in those houses."

"If you told Kaz," Jesper said, "I'm sure he'll listen. Well, he'll listen now that he's calmed down."

Y/N bit her lip. "Well, I'm already in a hole, I might as well chuck six feet of dirt on top of myself," she said, pushing her chair away from the table and standing up, wincing as she did so.

"Are you alright?" Inej asked, noticing her wince.

"Fine," Y/N replied, forcing a smile to her face. "Make sure my grave is nice, I want a big fancy headstone."

"I'll add sparklers to it!" Jesper called after her.

Y/N approached the staircase and inhaled as much as she could without aggravating her side.

"Three flights, we can do this," she muttered to herself.

She took her hand off her side and grabbed the bannister and pulled herself up onto the first step. It was slow and painful but eventually, she reached the third floor. Her legs felt like jelly and she leant against the wall for a minute, catching her breath.

Y/N spotted a crate of medical supplies by the spare room and wobbled over to it, pulling out a pack of gauze and a roll of bandages. She just needed to talk to Kaz and then she'd let Inej deal with her injury. Until then, she'd cope.

She secured the gauze with the bandage, wrapping it around her middle and tying it in a knot, trying not to notice how her hands shook and how her blood had gotten under her nails.

Happy that she wasn't about to keel over just yet, Y/N slowly walked down the corridor to Kaz's office and knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Kaz called.

Y/N twisted the door knob and stepped inside his office. She left the door open a crack, a habit more than anything else, and approached his desk.

"Kaz, can I please explain what happened?" Y/N asked as he looked up, his expression going to stone as soon as he realised it was her.

Kaz heistated. He set his pen down and waved a hand. "Fine."

Y/N leant on the back of the chair that sat in front of his desk, not trusting her legs to keep holding her upright. "As I was standing guard, I saw one of my former clients. I tried to hide from him but he spotted me and the next thing I knew..." Y/N trailed off and took a deep breath in, wincing as she upset her side. "The next thing I knew, he had his hands around my throat. I panicked and used the only thing that was in reach. If I hadn't been so panicked, I wouldn't have fired but... I did."

Kaz's face was unreadable. He shifted in his seat and Y/N stared at him, wishing he would hurry up and speak because she was genuinely afraid that she was about to pass out.

"I apologise," Kaz said quietly, "for what I said."

"Ok," Y/N replied, not wanting to say 'I forgive you' when she didn't. "I remember you telling me when I first joined that you wouldn't be able to protect me from the world and that I'd have to do it myself. So, I did that."

"I know," Kaz said, looking up at her. "Is he dead?"

"You really think I would let him live?" Y/N asked. "Yes, he's dead."

Kaz fell silent again. Y/N was gripping the back of the chair so tightly her knuckles were tight against her skin. Her head was spinning and her legs were wobbly and unstable.

Kaz looked at his door, eyes narrowing. "Jesper, stop loitering," Kaz called, making Y/N jump slightly.

The door to Kaz's office swung open and Jesper and Inej walked in, Jesper looking fittingly sheepish.

"I haven't murdered her, if that's what you were checking," Kaz drawled, standing up.

"Well, it wasn't completely unlikely to happen," Jesper muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Kaz," Inej said, stepping forward, "Y/N did what she had to. Hindsight and planning doesn't account for trauma or how someone copes with it."

A dark, haunted look appeared on Kaz's face for a moment before vanishing. "I know." He looked to Y/N. "I understand, Y/N."

The relief hit Y/N instantly. She nodded at Kaz and gave him a small smile but her brain wasn't really working anymore. She was on autopilot, barely functioning.

"I'm sorry," Y/N said quietly, her grip on the chair faltering as her legs went.

She fell to the ground, landing on her knees with a painful, spine-jolting thud. There were hands on her shoulders, on her back, and Y/N fell sideways, her head landing on something softer than the ground.

She looked up and saw Jesper's face over hers and somehow made the connection that it was his lap her head was resting in. Ineh was hovering anxiously and both of them were talking at her but Y/N heard nothing. She turned her head and saw Kaz, hovering on the sidelines, watching.

Y/N closed her eyes and let go, letting the incense and the ocean wash over her.

Kaz sat down at his desk. He looked down at his paperwork and then up at his bed where Y/N lay.

Inej had done a good job of stiching up her side and placing a large wad of gauze over the top of it to protect it. She'd reassured him that she'd been. That she need to sleep and heal and then she'd be back to being Y/N.

But the reassurance didn't stop Kaz from feeling guilty.

The what ifs were running around his head and the ocean was gradually beginning to rise and engulf him once more.

Ever since Y/N had joined the Dregs almost a year earlier, Kaz had been fighting with his inner demon. Everytime he looked at her, saw her smile, heard her laugh, he felt like he might drown.

Her damn smile reminded him of how Jordie used to smile whenever something went right. The way Jordie had smiled when he'd gotten the job weeks before he died. The way Kaz had once smiled before Ketterdam ripped it from his soul.

Y/N had been injured before. But this was the first time she hadn't told anyone and had almost died as a result.

And it was Kaz's fault.

He'd been so angry, so annoyed, that he'd missed the way she'd kept a hand to her side, the fact that her left hand was stained red with blood, how it had gotten under her nails. He'd missed the shaky hands, the paler skin, the sweating.

He'd missed it all until she'd collapsed right in front of him, Jesper barely catching her before she hit the floor.

Kaz clenched his jaw as he felt the waters begin to rise again, lapping around his chest, the cold water gripping his heart. He looked down at the paperwork again, away from Y/N.

He hated how he felt around her. He hated how Y/N would go on, never knowing how he felt. How he truly felt was one of his best kept secrets - along with Jordie. Kaz was determined not to give it away until he was ready - if he was ever ready.

A demon didn't love anyone. Kaz Brekker couldn't love anyone. Kaz Rietveld could have loved and did love and it cost him everything.

A soft whimper came from the bed and Kaz looked up as Y/N twitched underneath the covers. He could see the nightmare brewing and could sense the panic as she experienced her past again, stuck inside the walls, unable to escape.

Kaz stood up and quietly limped over to her side. He took a deep breath in, reminding himself that it was just Y/N, and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.

Slowly, Kaz grabbed her little finger with his, linking them together.

The ocean receded from his chest and stayed at his knees.

"It's alright," Kaz said quietly, his thumb stroking the back of Y/N's hand. "You're safe, Y/N. You got out."

If anyone else had been in the room, he would have left it to them. The only reason he was sitting next to Y/N now was because Inej and Jesper weren't around and neither one was going to walk in.

And because, for once, Kaz Brekker let Kaz Rietveld take control.

"You're at the Slat, Y/N," Kaz continued. He took a deep breath in and clenched his jaw as he moved his right hand up, brushing a piece of Y/N's hair back.

The water didn't move.

Kaz knew what she needed to hear because Inej had needed to hear it too after she'd gotten injured fighting a former client. He had sat and watched as Jesper held the Suli girl through her nightmares and had reassured her, stroking her hair as she sobbed and shook.

But Jesper wasn't here now. And Kaz wasn't ready to let his girl out of his sight.

So, he sat on the edge of her bed, his little finger entwined with hers, and quietly reassured her every time she twitched or whimpered, occasionally smoothing her hair back when he felt like he could.

Kaz Rietveld watched her with a smile and, for once, the waters didn't rise.

[vitchimage]

Can i get a platnoic reader x six of crows. She's was found on the street by kaz, inej and jesper but now works for the dregs as a baker. One day, she is walking and starts getting chased by some evil men and she basically runs into Matthias and Wylan and they help her calm down and then takes her back home. Kaz beats up the man and the crows comfort her. Change anything you would like!!! :)

Heyya! Of course, you can! I love this idea so much, it was really cute! Sorry if I was late, I have been a bit busy lately, but here it is!

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!TW: Violence, mention of human trafficking

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Note: Might be some grammar mistakes, I apologize-

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m.list

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𝑺𝒂𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎

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Running and running till her feet ached, but the need of oxygen and her legs soon to be given up was the last thing on her mind. Not when heavy footsteps followed her behind.

The weather was harsh, drenching her through the streets of Ketterdam.

‘Almost there! Almost there!’ She thought to herself.

Y/N asked herself, how did she get herself into this mess? She just wanted a peaceful life, baking. But she knew what she got herself into when Kaz, Inej, and Jesper found her and took her under their wings. She remembers the night clearly.

–

Y/N hugged her knees hiding in fear, trembling in the cold. Why did she go to Ketterdam? She didn’t know. All she knew was that she wanted to get away, away from them. If she knew Ketterdam was this dangerous, would she still run away to Ketterdam?

“Someone…” She whispered, praying.

She could hear groans, gunshots being fired. She was just walking around and in the midst, got caught in the middle of a battle between the Dregs and the Dime Lions.

“Help..” She could feel tears streaming.

And what seemed like an eternity, everything grew quiet.

“Hey,” A gentle voice calls out, making Y/N flinch.

“It’s a waste of time, let’s just let them be Inej.” A man’s voice jumps in, sighing.

“Kaz!” The woman, whose name was Inej, had a stern voice.

“Sorry,” Kaz says, and steps were heard.

“Hey, you,” Kaz calls out, his voice was stoic.

“Please..don’t hurt me..” Y/n managed to let out.

“We’re not going to hurt you,” Inej’s voice was warm, a form of safety.

Y/N hesitates and looks up at them, finally seeing their faces.

A pale man with a weird haircut, holding onto a cane, a woman with raven hair tied into a braided coil, and looking closely had a lot of knives on her belt, boots, and other parts of her clothing. Behind them stood a man with a weird top hat. He had a gun that was placed onto his hips.

“Seeing your reaction, you must be new here,” The pale man said, which was probably Kaz, Y/N guessed.

She nods hesitantly,

“I..I ran away..” She said quietly, “Ketterdam seemed far enough so..”

“You made a mistake picking this place,” Kaz states, “Ketterdam isn’t tame as it seems in the mornings.”

Y/N looked down, “I just…”

“I just want my brother..”

Inej looked at the others for a moment, before looking back at Y/N.

“Where is he, may I ask?”

“Gone.” She answered, “Because of me.”

Everyone remained silent at that,

“I just didn’t want my freedom to get sold away, so my brother helped me and I paid the price..” Y/N voice broke.

“Sold off?”

“Yeah, to please other people or something,”

Inej gritted her teeth at that.

“Well, It’s going to get colder. Maybe we should take this talk back in the Slat?” The guy from behind says.

Both Inej and Kaz nods, and after that night you were under their wings.

–

Y/N just wanted to take a stroll down the streets wanting to get something for the others.

But here she was, getting chased down by those men she ran away from two years ago.

Y/N had never really felt fear after being under the Dregs’ wings but now terror filled her entire body. Praying on her way to any saints out there to have mercy on her, to help her out.

‘Please..!’ Tears threatened to fall, ‘I don’t want to go back, please..!’

‘Someone..’ The same begging from that night repeated itself now.

THUD!

The sound of crashing into someone made Y/N panic even more.

‘No..! No..! No…! Please..! I..’ She didn’t dare to look up until a familiar voice called out to her, checking if she was alright.

When she finally did, eyes met Wylan’s and Matthias’ worried ones.

‘Thank Saints!’ She immediately cried.

“Hey, hey! what’s going on?” Matthias helped her up, Wylan picking up the items that lay scattered after the fall and into her basket.

“I..” Y/N looked around, seeing the same silhouettes that chased her down earlier and turned her eyes back onto Matthias, hands gripping onto him tighter.

“Please! Please! Help me! Please..the Slat..The..back..I..” Her wording was a mess, her mind wasn't thinking clearly.

Wylan and Matthias looked at each other and nodded, taking Y/N back to the Slat, Matthias supporting her, and Wylan patting her back, talking about different subjects from bombs to their recent successful heist to calm Y/N down.

–

“I thought I’d never get to see the boys making us waffles,” Nina chimes as she uses her ability to keep Y/N warm and calm. Meanwhile, Matthias, Jesper, and Wylan discussed among themselves, they were clearly a living question mark.

“I’m afraid they’re going to burn it,” Inej comments as she dries Y/N hair.

“Then I’ll make them pay!” Nina voices,

“No violence in my bakery, please,” Y/N smiles as much as she could manage.

“Ugh, with such an angelic smile, I can’t refuse the request!” Nina pouts.

Although still terrified, Y/N felt she could take a breather, and slowly let her shoulder sink in, the blanket wrapped around her and Nina’s ability holding her warm. She felt much safer than when she walked in.

–

Kaz, Inej, and the others rushed up to them, as soon as they arrived.

“What the hell happened?” Kaz looked at them, he tried his best to mask his worries.

Jesper quickly went and got a blanket; wrapping it around Y/N.

Y/N opened and closed her mouth, but nothing came out. Words stuck in her throat, choking her, completely terrified.

But falling into Nina’s ability, she managed to let out some words to explain what just had happened.

–

“Waffles are ready!” Jesper places the plates before them, and Matthias places the waffles onto them while Jesper hugged Wylan from behind, kissing his cheek – being all lovey-dovey.

“They actually look nice!” Nina beams,

“You didn’t have faith in my baking abilities?”

“OUR baking abilities,” Jesper chimes in.

Inej just rolls her eyes while Y/N giggles at the boys’ banter.

“Wait, Where is Kaz?” Y/N asks, noticing he wasn’t there.

“Oh, he had some…business to attend to, but don’t worry he will be back.” Nina says with her mouth full of waffles.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Matthias comments, making Nina glare at him.

“Oh..ok!” Y/N smiles, “Then the presents can wait till he gets back!”

“Why do we gotta wait for that guy? He is going to take forever with his cane!”

“Jesper!” Inej playfully glared at him.

Everyone laughs, listening to Jesper trying to reason and trash talk Kaz.

“Who are you talking about?” Kaz appears behind them.

“Boss!” Jesper grins so that he doesn't get his ass whooped, “We were waiting for youuu!” Jesper tries to change the subject.

Kaz just stared at him like he was an alien or something.

After a moment of another bantering, Y/N hands out the gifts,

“So I bought you all a stuffed animal that reminded me of you all..”

“I wanted to thank you all, for being here for me, without you guys I don’t think I would ever again know what happiness, safety, and love felt like, after loosing my only family. You guys gave me a place to stay, and despite not being good at weapons or being strategic, you guys made me feel valid like I was worth it. Not only that but thanks to you guys, I can live out my dreams to be a baker..and know what it feels like to have a family again. ”

Y/N softly smiled, fidgeting with her hands, as everyone looked at their gifts,

Y/N gulps nervously,

'Is it too childish?' She thought, doubts creeping in.

“GOD! Y/N YOU NEED TO STOP BEING SO CUTE!” Nina suddenly engulfed Y/N in a hug,

“ME TOO I WANT A HUG!” Jesper jumps in too.

“Wait-guys!” Y/N smiles happily, laughing almost thrown off balance.

"How do I remind you of a raccoon?!" Wylan asks, making Jesper laugh at him.

Everyone was smiling happily, laughing, and chattering. Banters were thrown everywhere.

It was these moments, Y/N loved the most. When everyone was together like this, peaceful, content, and happy; like a family.

Moments like these were when she felt so safe, safer than anything she has ever felt before.

And she was thankful for that night she had met them in the alleyway.

But every happiness in Ketterdam is short-lived. Especially for the former drüskelle and the ex-soldier of Ravka.

Another rainy day threatening to fall.

–

Earlier:

“Found you.” Kaz’s voice held malice in them, his smile evident when he found the men, hiding and cowardly in fear. The same terror Y/N had when she arrived at the Slat, filled their eyes.

“Let me show you what happens when you mess with Y/N.” He waves the cane in his hand, before lifting it up.

The screams of agony and begs of mercy had never sounded so pleasing to his ears as this.

[goldengoddess]

hi i have a kaz x reader request!! can you do one where kaz proposes to the reader?? that seems so cute tbh

will you marry me - kaz brekker

pairing: kaz brekker x reader

a/n: i listened to helpless from the hamilton musical while writing this so do with that what you will,,,, kaz would definitely do this just so u know (idk if kaz would consider marrige but if he did this is how it would go)

warnings: nothing ?? proposals ? kaz it a tiny bit more touchy :)

kaz brekker was not one for romantic gestures, frankly he it quite the opposite. every confession of love was silent, hidden, usually given in the privacy of his room.

but he knew you.

and he knew that proposals were meant to be romantic gestures. they were meant to represent the start of a different era of love. he’d heard you tell nina about a hundred times how romantic your parents proposal had been. he’d seen the dreamy look in your eyes the time a public proposal had happened in front of the two of you.

so he was dead set on making sure his proposal to you was everything you wanted it to be. and if there was one thing dirty hands was good at, it was making a solid plan. and a couple solid back up plans.

so he was very annoyed to see your annoyed face on the morning he was going to propose to you. 

you grumbled as you walked across the room to the kitchen where you could finally get some coffee. over her own mug, nina chuckled at your state. “looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed” she giggled and took a sip of what was probably hot chocolate. 

you mumbled a quick ‘fuck you’ and made your way closer to kaz. you quickly planted a good morning kiss on his cheek like you always did. it was part of your routine, that way he knew it was coming and was never surprised or taken aback by the act. your grumpy mood chipped away a little at the way that kaz’s lips quirked upwards as you pulled away. 

you shuffled over to the coffee pitcher just as jesper made his way into the room. he was humming something under his breath and you leaned your head closer so you could listen.

you furrowed your brows in confusion, “jesper? why are you humming the wedding song?”

he stopped in his tracks and shared a quick look with nina and then kaz. he turned to you and grinned, “no reason! just in a good mood, excited for our job later today.”

you huffed and shook your head, “at least one of us is.”

the rest of the day went by the way they always do before a big heist: slowly. it consisted of jesper running around the slat pumped up with too much adrenaline. inej taking out all of her smaller knives from their hiding spots (who knew she kept three under the couch cushions) and strapping them to her sides. wylan drawing out the outline of the mercher house one more time. matthias grumbling about the legality and necessity of what they were doing. nina sitting on his lap so he would shut up. 

and kaz, your sweet kaz, going over the plan in his head while observing you. 

later on, as you were all in your respective positions for the job, you couldn’t help but wonder why kaz had paired the two of you together. when the two of you had started dating, he had told you that he couldn’t trust his own instincts around you. and for that reason, you were always paired with another crow and he usually worked with jesper of inej. but not tonight. 

“kaz?” you questioned, “why are you and i working together tonight?”

you didn’t notice the way his hands hesitated on the lock that he was currently trying to pick. he turned to you and your breath caught in your throat, like you were seeing him for the first time again. it was midnight, there was little light anywhere. but somehow the moonlight illuminated kaz’s face perfectly. he looked beautiful. 

he shrugged and went back to his lock, “just thought it could be interesting to switch things up. this job is simple enough, nothing will go wrong.”

his words set you off slightly. your kaz would never take a chance like that. it wasn’t his style. kaz tended to ignore the odds, but never when it came to you. he’d promised a long time ago to not let his own grudges or greed put you in harms way. what was different about tonight?

before you could ask him, the lock clicked open and kaz swung the door to the hallway open. he extended his arm in invitation, “after you.”

you narrowed your eyes at him but stepped into the room. you took a deep breath and felt yourself relax at the oddly familiar scent of roses. you scanned the room and felt a smile slip into your face at the sight of yellow roses. waking closer to them, you ghosted your hands over the petals. 

you looked over at kaz with a small smile, and found he was already smiling at you. “your favorite flower” he said, stepping right next to you. 

you nodded your head in awe, you hadn’t seen yellow roses in a very long time. kaz dipped his hand into the vase and snapped the step of one of the flowers. he turned to you and handed you a single rose. you grinned and took the flower from him, tucking it gently into your backpack. “thank you honey” you giggled and then quietly moved down the hall. 

kaz stopped you in front of a room with a golden and elaborately decorated door. he motioned for you to open the door and you nodded your head, following his instruction. when you walked in the room was practically empty. the only thing inside was a glass case at the center of the room. you tip toed closer and found a tiny jewelry box. you slowly opened the glass casing and grabbed the small jewelry box, assuming this was the ‘big prize’ kaz had claimed they would find during this job. 

“open it” you heard kaz say from behind you. 

so without looking at him, you opened the tiny black box. what was inside, took the air out of your lungs. it was a tiny silver ring with a shiny black stone at the center. without realizing, you let out a little gasp. 

you started turning your body to face kaz, “kaz what is-”

but before you could say anything you found kaz kneeling on one knee, firmly holding onto his cane for the balance. you let out yet another gasp and nearly dropped the likely expensive ring in your hand. 

“angel” he started speaking

“kaz,” you interrupted him breathlessly, “what are you doing?”

he gave you his favorite mischievous smile, the smile that didn’t quiet reach his eyes but shined playfully in his eyes. “i’m doing my best to propose darling.”

another gasp on your part. 

he chuckled, “i have spent a lot of my life closing off my heart. making it impossible to reach. but then you came along and broke down my walls brick by brick. and impossibly, my heart became yours forever. so i thought it was only appropriate to put a much deserved ring on your finger. so, what do you say angel? will you marry me?”

you let out a small sniffle, happy tears falling down your cheeks. “yes! i want to marry you, i do!” you laughed happily and rushed over to kaz.

you helped him to his feet and he smiled, “excited are we? you’re not supposed to say ‘i do’ just yet darling.”

you lightly punched his shoulder. you moved your eyes to his lips and then back to his eyes, asking for permission. his grin and the quick nod of his head told you everything and you surged forward to kiss him. 

after a few seconds you pulled back and you know that you’ve never smiled as brightly as you are in that moment, “you never fail to surprise me brekker. can’t believe you pulled off a fake heist just for me.”

“i’d do anything for you” he answered quickly. 

“even marry me?”

“especially marry you.” 

taglist;

@vintagebitc @obiwansjedi @thegirlwiththeimpala @hybrid-in-progress @mrs-brekker15 @mrsbrekkers @simplyluvzuko @ode-to-joy @gallysonegoodlung @sixofshadowandbone @castielcouldbeasecretdentist @meiitanoia @caaarstairs @itisroe @the-jess-life @xsamsharons @heavenlymidnight @wtfrae @dreamer-writer-fangirl @bookishcrows @tulipsxbooks @thehighladyofday @seven-halfbloods

if your name is in bold it means i couldn’t tag you!

[bey0nd-1he-stars]

In the moonlit midnight - Wylan Van Eck

𝑀𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

Pairing: Wylan Van Eck x platonic!healer!reader

Warnings: none

Wordcount: 925

Summary: As a part of the crows and one of Wylan’s best friends, you’re there for him when he needs it the most. Even when he thinks he doesn’t deserve it.

Wylan Van Eck. A living sunbeam. Jesper often teased him, shouting ‘Hey, Van Sunshine! Come over here!” across the room. Sometimes he did it at the Crow Club and Wylan would get a soft blush across his cheeks as he made his way to the bar where Jesper stood. The rest of the crows found it sweet and Wylan often mumbled under his breath how he would set off a bomb to kill them all some day. Jesper would laugh, throw an arm around his shoulders and snicker about how he would never do that and Wylan would just roll his eyes but smile.

His friends were the most treasured thing in his whole would. He loved his friends. His first and only friends. A criminal gang in Ketterdam who robbed merchants, people like his father. These people who Wylan trusted with his life was a group of traumatised, young criminals. A boy who grew up at a beautiful farm, with a brother and a father, taking care of animals and playing around. He got that life ripped from him and ended up on the streets of Ketterdam as a broken and lonley boy. A girl who got sold to the menagerie and had learnt to stitch herself up because no one cared enough about her to do it for her. A zemini-born sharpshooter with a severe gambling addiction and a charming smile. A fjerdan drüskelle who had left his county and “betrayed” his people. And two lost Grisha from the little palace. A heartrender who fell in love with the “slaver” who captured her. And a healer with a bigger heart than all of Ketterdam but who still was fierce and alert.

A odd gang actually. But Wylan loved them all. He loved Nina’s home made waffles. He loved when Matthias helped him reach things from the highest cabinets. He loved Inej’s scarfs that she would silently wrap around him when she noticed he got cold. He loved Jesper’s soft kisses across his cheeks and to be held in his warm embrace. He loved Kaz’s silent gazes to check if he was alright and his quiet ways to care. He loved Y/N’s warm, caring touches, just telling him she was there for him if he needed anything. And tonight, he needed her more than ever.

-

Nightmares haunted him in his sleep. Not necessarily scary ones, just nightmares that reminded him of the past he so desperately tried to forget. And tonight, no matter what he did, they didn’t seem to go away.

It was in the middle of the night. Everyone at the slat was asleep. Jesper and Kaz were out on a heist, which didn’t really settle his nerves either. So after he’d waken up the third time he tiptoed out in the corridor and up to your room.

You awoke to soft knocks on your door. A soft “come in” told Wylan that he was welcome. He stepped inside and closed the door carefully behind him. He paused before silently walking over to the bed. You sat up against the headboard and reached out to take his hand in yours.

“Hey, Wy, it alright. Talk to me. What’s on your mind,” you mumbled and softly stroke a finger over his knuckles. His hand squeezed yours in appreciation.

“Just, a lot. Everything and nothing,” he carefully explained and sat down beside you on the bed. You wrapped your arm around his shoulders and he rested his head in the crook of your neck. “I’m worried about Jes,” he continued. “And Kaz.” He breathed out. You nodded slowly, letting him take his time. “And I’m having those nightmares again.” That’s when he broke. Hot tears fell from his eyes and he fell into your embrace. He felt so weak. How could he let so little break him down? How could he come to you in the middle of the night with his silly problems? Like you read his mind you softly reassured him.

“It’s okay, it’s alright. You’re alright. Jesper’s alright. Kaz is alright,” you quietly told him through his sobs. “You’re not a bother and you know you can come to me anytime you want or need, okay? It’s fine.” Wylan shakily nodded and pulled away slightly.

“Thank you. I feel so weak, how can I let so little get to me and let it break me down?”

“You’re not weak, Wylan. It’s not little. Everything weight different to everyone. What may not be much for anyone else may be much for you. And neither is right. You’re strong Wy. Never think anything less.”

Wylan nodded, thankful for you and your reassuring words. You squeezed him a bit tighter in the hug and Wylan relaxed against you, feeling his eye lids starting to feel heavy.

The soft, rhythmic sound of a cane was heard from outside your door and you shook Wylan slightly. He hummed in response.

“They’re back now, Wy. They’re safe,” you smiled. A gentle smile took place on Wylan lips and pushed himself off you to sit up straight. His eyes were a bit red from crying and his hair was a mess. “Go check on Jes and get some real sleep in your system, Wy,” you spoke softly, nudging him with your knee. He smiled tiredly, took your hand in his and gave it a soft squeeze before slipping out of your room to find his boyfriend. As he walked through the slat towards Jesper’s room, he silently thanked the Saints. For the crows. For Jesper. And for you.

[charles-rxwlands]

the aftermath of 'i love you.'

this is the sequel to my fic how kaz would react to 'i love you.' which was basically all angst. spoiler alert: this is all angst, too.

pairing: kaz brekker/reader but not exactly (??) cause they've broken up so uh

rating: teen

word count: 1.5k (rounded up)

summary: what happened after you said 'i love you,' to kaz

tags: gender neutral!reader, angst, unhappy ending

warnings: swearing, self-deprecating thoughts, and i think that's it? but pls lmk if anything else is needed

read on ao3

a/n: the writing quality of this really went 📉📈📉 but in my defense i wrote most of this while my brother watched tommy innit videos at full volume so ofc i was distracted.

and fyi muzzen is not an oc, he's one of the minor minor characters in soc!

once again, feedback and reblogs are appreciated! hope you enjoy reading <3

Kaz's pov

He watched you from the other side of the room as you blatantly flirted with Muzzen. He had his glass of kvas (Jesper had begged for the club to order the ravkan mead for weeks) in a death grip. You ran your fingers through your hair, and smiled at something Muzzen had said. He tugged lightly on the collar of your jacket, making you laugh softly. Kaz's heart tightened, jealousy settling in his chest.

You looked happy, even as you conversed with the brainless bodyguard who probably couldn't count up to ten. Kaz hadn't been able to make you happy like that. But you had loved him anyway, and he had 'fucked you over', as you'd put it.

I love you.

You're a coward, Brekker.

Kaz let out something in between a sigh and a frustrated grunt. He drained the rest of his drink in one go, and set the glass down more violently than he'd intended. His scowl deepened, if that were even possible, when he sensex Inej slide into the seat next to him. He waited for her to speak, because he sure as hell wasn't going to initiate the conversation. What was there to say? You and him were over. And it was all his fault. 

"Kaz," Inej said. Her tone of voice was gentle - too gentle. He didn't want to be pitied, for fuck's sake. 

"What is it, Inej?" he snapped. 

"Tell me what happened between you and Y/n."

"Nothing to tell." He shrugged. 

Annoyance flickered over her face. "I care about you both, you know," she said. "I don't like seeing you two like this."

He gave her a withering look, if only to disguise the ugly feeling that flared up within him at her words. 

Don't care about me.

Don't love me.

You can't.

Kaz bit the inside of his cheek and hung his head. He studiously ignored Inej for a solid minute. At some point, he noticed that you and Muzzen had abandoned your corner table, most likely to go suck each other's faces off. The thought sent jolts of jealousy through his heart. 

"For Saint's sake- did she break your heart? Is that it?" she demanded, apparently having had enough of his silence.

He 'tsked' in annoyance, standing up abruptly. He snatched up his cane. "Maybe I broke hers," he muttered before walking off. He didn't want to answer questions today. Or ever.

Inej didn't follow him, and he was thankful for that. He trudged up the stairway, the rickety steps creaking under his weight. Emotions swirled within him, brewing up a storm. It was just a matter of time before he exploded, because as much as he hated to admit it, he was still human. Especially when it came to you. 

You had been one of the first people to see his humanity, and the last thing he wanted was to become another monster in your life.

But then again, maybe it was too late.

Suddenly, he bumped into someone. He hissed, flinching backwards. "Watch it-," his next words died on his tongue when he looked up, and came face to face with you. For a few, painfully awkward moments, the two of you held eye contact. Your face was stony, but your e/c eyes betrayed some kind of emotion that Kaz couldn't be bothered to decipher right now.

"Sorry, Brekker," you apologised. Your tone was flat. "C'mon, Muzzen," you gestured for him to follow you back down with a jerk of your head.

His hand twitched at his side as you left, almost as if his body yearned for your presence. Your shoulders nearly touched - missing each other by less than a centimetre. He couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing. 

Letting out another sharp breath, Kaz resumed the walk back to his room. His footsteps grew quicker and more urgent. Your name echoed in his mind, as well as the three words that had haunted him for days now. 

Y/n. Y/n. Y/n.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

He slammed the door behind him when he finally reached his quarters. His cane fell to the floor, although his gloves stayed on. He stumbled into the cramped bathroom, bracing two hands against the rusty sink. He twisted the tap open, ignoring the squeak of the old mechanism that would have otherwise annoyed him. A gentle stream of water flowed from the tap head, and he splashed some on his face. 

No, he thought stubbornly, I am not going to break down because of Y/n.

The despair that rattled inside of him said otherwise.

f only he had reacted better when you'd told him you loved him. If only he hadn't yelled at you and called you all those horrible things that weren't true about you in the slightest. You weren't selfish at all. You were the exact opposite. You were kind, and thoughtful, and understanding - so, so understanding of him and his endless baggage. And he had- he had ruined it all, because of his own cowardice.

You're a coward, Brekker.

I know, he thought, not for the first time. I'm sorry. 

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

Your pov

"I- I'm sorry, Muzzen, but I think I'm gonna turn in for the night," you said to the bodyguard, smiling sheepishly. "I've got a bit of a headache."

"It's alright," he said, giving a half-hearted smile back. It was clear he didn't believe you. You didn't know if that was because your acting skills weren't as up to par as you thought, or because the bodyguard was smarter than you made him out to be.

You all but ran up the stairs, nearly sagging in relief as the door closed behind you. You suddenly couldn't stand the feeling of the fabric of your coat on your skin and shrugged it off; Kaz had bought it for you, because of course the reminder of him lingered everywhere you went.

Your room wasn't anywhere near big, but it was a good way away from Kaz's, and for the first time, you were grateful for that. You couldn't deal with him at the moment.

Wait, no, that came out wrong. It wasn't him specifically that you couldn't deal with, it was the bad memories (or, rather, memory, as there was one key shitshow that had ruimed everything) that came with him.

Oh, Saints, why, why, why had you told him you loved him? Things had been going so well! And then you- you fucked it up. Yes, you had blatantly blamed this on Kaz the day of the argument, but deep down, you knew you were the one at fault. 

Your heart ached every time you thought of him. You missed Kaz. So, so much. It hadn't escaped you how he had been eyeing you and Muzzen earlier in the evening. You could only hope that he was staring out of jealousy, and not devising some foolproof plan to get rid of you.

What would it take for Kaz to forgive you? Or had you fucked things up beyond repair? 

"Shit," you whispered, leaning your head against the wall. Tears burned at the corners of your eyes. "Shit." You didn't know what exactly was 'shit'. Maybe the decision you came to moments later.

I'm going to apologise to him," you said to your empty room. "I will."

With a sniffle, you cracked open your door and slipped back outside. You had left your coat in a pile on the floor, making you vulnerable to the cold that pierced the empty areas of the Crow Club. Your feet carried you to Kaz's room naturally. You barely had to think about where you were going. Instead, you thought of Kaz himself. 

Kaz. Your fallen angel, you used to call him in your mind. You couldn't express how sorry you were. You didn't even know what you were sorry for. Loving him? Loving him, and saying it aloud? Loving him, and saying it aloud, because you were so sure he felt the same way? 

You had been being selfish. Kaz said so himself. Selfish and stupid. Of course Kaz didn't love you.

At last, you were in front of his door. You raised a fist to knock. Opened your mouth to call out. Except you did none of those. You just stood there, tears welling up in your eyes once again, a familiar pang of sadness in your chest. 

He wouldn't want to see you. How could he? This was your fault, wasn't it? It was your selfishness, and your wishful thinking that had gotten you two into this position. You missed him, but you wouldn't go as far as to think he missed you, too. If you attempted to apologise… would it really be for him? 

You wouldn't be selfish. Not again.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. 

You turned around, and walked away. 

[luna-writes-stuff]

I adore your Kaz headcanons! If you aren't busy, can you write reader x Kaz headcanons with the she/her/hers pronoun where the Crows are planning to steal some painting by a unknown artist that's selling for a million Kruge only for everyone (reader included) to find out that the reader painted it before she became a Crow?

Read the request ^^, Kaz Brekker

((Sorry, I got carried away with this request. I hope you like it.))

Headcanons, female s/o

Tw: Heist stuff, established relationship (for once)

- It was no secret for the crows that you were a great artist. You had been granted your own atelier in case there was an upcoming heist which involved stealing paintings. You would duplicate them as well as you could so the object wouldn’t be missed.

- There was only one problem with this heist: this painting had been locked in a secure facility. There was no ability for you to get in without being seen, therefor leaving you incapable of recreating the thing.

- You were to get the painting out without replica, leaving it exposed, which was dangerous for the crows. The only thing important for the heist were speed, agility and stealth. No more walking amongst crowds without being noticed. It just consisted out of sneaking in and running back out before anyone would realize the absence of the painting.

- You and Inej had been sent inside while Jesper and Kaz remained on the lookout. Inej was the one who was supposed to be stealing the painting while you ensured nothing fell over, offering help to Inej wherever necessary.

- At first, Kaz had insisted on you staying at the Slat, seeing as you were most useful in the shadows. Would someone realize you were a crow too, you’d be in even greater danger than you already found yourself. But you were stubborn and Kaz was weak. He knew you’d be safe with Inej more than being outside in plain sight.

- So there the two of you stood, in front of the giant painting, currently not guarded. Your breath caught in your throat when you caught sight of it.

- “What is it?” Inej had wondered, stopping in her tracks when she saw your face. The painting you were looking at was one of your first commissions ever. You once sold paintings for extra money (before Kaz found you), but it hadn’t been a great job. Yet, this painting here was the one you got paid the most for.

- And now it was worth a million Kruge. You were flattered, to say the least.

- “I made this.” You quietly whispered, before walking up to it, investigating the border, trying to get the canvas off the wall. Inej didn’t respond to your answer. She just studied the painting, before walking up to you and helping the painting get down.

- “It’s beautiful.” She had said after a while of looking at the streaks of paint covering her side of the canvas. You had sent her a nod as thanks, but decided to get back to hanging the empty border, leaving Inej to roll up the painting.

- When arriving at the rendezvous, Inej smiled brightly.

- “We just got ourselves an original Y/L/N.” She announced proudly. Both Kaz and Jesper were confused by her statement.

- “Beg your pardon?” Jesper wondered aloud.

- When explaining the painting and how you had created it for a wealthy man once, Jesper broke out laughing.

- “Well, then it’s no longer stealing. It’s property retrieval.”

- Upon coming back to the Slat, everyone went back to their usual business. You had returned to your atelier, cleaning the last bits of your desk. You had been busy scraping the paint off of it before you left, but didn’t get the change to finish it.

- Not even two minutes later, Kaz arrived, painting rolled up under his arm.

- “Can you recreate this within three days?” He asked, pointing towards the scroll. You dropped the towel you were holding, your eyebrows raising a level.

- “Three days? You can’t just recreate a painting within three days. Not of that size.” You explained. But Kaz insisted, returning with a “You’ve made it before. You know how it works.”

- With a sigh, you walked up to him, your eyes on the roll. “Why three days?”

- “The buyer is here in three days.” You leaned your head to your side, urging him to continue.

- “I wish to hang this painting somewhere in the building. It is yours, so it’s only acceptable to keep it.”

- “You wish to swindle a crime buyer?” A moment of silence was followed before you showed him a smile. “That’s the most Kaz thing I’ve ever heard. I can’t promise you anything, but I can try.”

- Miracles do exist, you told yourself when you arrived at Kaz’s office three days later, the fake scroll under your arm. You did your best recreating the original one, and it looked marvelous, if you had to say so yourself.

- The buyer had not even noticed the difference and handed over the million Kruge without question.

- Only one day after, your original painting had been hanging in Kaz’s office, proudly showing itself off to anyone who entered. It was his way of telling you he loved you. It were the small things, but they went well-appreciated by you.

- You knew he wasn’t really one for showing off art, so it meant a lot to you, having your painting hanging right there.

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

Kaz Brekker x fem! Reader - The Saints Of Freedom

(Gif not mine)

A/n: So this just came up into my head... There's going to be so much Shadow and bone content I'm just saying in advance - I'm so sorry! Also Matthias is alive!

Warnings: Sexual abuse, abuse, harassment, angst, fluff, terrible men, death, blood, language I think that's it? You have been warned!

Summary: Some man from the Crow Club wants a good time with you

I take a sip of my water, sighing. Inej and Kaz are in the corner talking to each other, like they never broke up. Wylan and Jesper are in a couple seats over from me joking with each other like their lives depend on it. And Nina and Matthias are in a both in back, Nina trying to get Matthias to kiss her while he's trying to be decent. Apparently.

Why did I have to fall for the Bastard of the Barrel?

I shift around on my bar stool a bit so I can listen in on a conversation.

"Let's play a round of strip poker boys!" I flinch, nope not happening.

I guess I never really fell in love with Kaz, I drowned for him. Him and all his terrible ways and his broken mindset, I drown in that. I yearn for that death in an ocean of Kaz Brekker. Wanting that kills me, slowly although.

"James! Go get some Chicks!" I stiffen up and start to get out of my seat. I gracefully like a snake avoid anyone in the crowd slipping into the darkness acting as just another man looking for it's prey.

That way you go unnoticed.

A hand grabs me and forcefully drags me away from the entrance. Damn it, I was so close. I am harshly turned towards the person who dragged me away from my freedom. A shiver runs up my spine as a man with yellow teeth grins down on me. His left hand goes up and down my arm, while his right has a bruising grip on me.

"Your gonna come play some poker with us aren't you little- Umm let me think." The man pretends to think for a second

"Ah! Your a fawn!"

I freeze.

That's what my father called me when he use to rap-

Don't think about that you need to try and make up a plan to get out of here!

I realize that I'm dragged all the way to the back where a table is, too late.

"Come on girly, we want some." The monster says.

"Now." He growls.

I shake my head trying to get the thoughts out of my head from my home life. I can't kill them because their good pigeons to the Crow Club. But I can injury them if necessary.

"Your not even going to tell your name?" I look up to the man who dragged me over here, knowing that he's going to get me and will be the only one to get me. He got his prey now the others get to watch.

"It's James pretty girl, and take your pants and panties off now, if I win you'll get to keep em." The men around the table chuckle in delight knowing what will happen - he will try to loose.

"And if you don't?" I cheer myself on internally for not loosing it and keeping my voice strong. Stall, it's the best thing you get do.

"We really start playing poker than."

Lies. I hiss in my head, once my pussy is out he will do what ever he wants with me.

I place a hand on his arm, stall Y/n, stall.

"When does the game end?" I lean in and whisper into his ear like I'm trying to seduce him. Bile rise's up from my throat but I shallow it back down but then I realize it makes me seem like I'm nervous. Shit. He seems to have picked up on that though and he likes it. It means he has control.

His hand goes to my thigh.

"As long as I want." He pulls me onto to him and I struggle out of his grip. Five other men come and hold me down on the table. I attempt to wrestle them all and I almost get out, but two other monsters come up and hold me down.

"Let's give them a show boys!"

Tears gather up in my eyes.

"Monsters." I hiss at the men. One with blond hair punches my arm with the bed of his fist and a small scream is with drawled from my throat as I hear it... Crack! Fuck, it's definitely broken.

"You can't break a girl that's already been broken, you'll only get cut." I rasp my voice quiet but very, very angry.

"You litt-" He gets cut off from the other man who brought me to this torture.

"Gather round! People, gather round! Let's see what we can do to this pretty little fawn here?" The man - James says as he places a hand on my stomach. Mostly horrid men gather around the table but the odd woman is here too, probably the dumb ones. As soon as the predator got it's prey you run.

So your not it's next meal.

Struggling to try and get out of the men's grip on me, but it's hopeless. They have two on each limb of my body holding me down.

"Come on little fawn, it's time to play." The man whispers into my ear.

Memories flood into my sense's of my father. Doing terrible, terrible things to me. Marking me. Tainting me, as I learned not to scream anymore so mother wouldn't beat the crap out of me because if he couldn't get me - he got her.

The barbaric beast crawls onto me surely leaving bruise's and his hand goes to lift up my shirt and-

BANG! He's on the floor bloodied from where something hit his face. Hard.

The other men don't try and stop whoever hit the other vile man to the floor. I almost don't open my eyes to see who might be my savoir in fear that they just might want some.

I open my eyes.

Kaz! I think and I nearly sigh in relief.

"Let her go." Kaz says dangerously low and calm and the men practically drop me on the table.

Kaz's cane is still on the table as I sit up. Hi cane is pointed towards the men in question and at this point the other man starts to get up. Kaz nods to Jesper and Inej and she smiles a bit, always a pleasure to hurt some nasty men. Matthias seems to be guarding to doorway so now one can get out and Nina seems to go help Inej and Jesper as Wylan goes help Matthias with the door. Demo at the entrance, nice.

Kaz holds out a gloved hand, I take it and stand up next to him and at the angle we're at I'm pressed up against him.

"Come on little fawn." My father opens the door to my room slowly with a sadistic smile on his face.

"But fath-"

He lifts me up by hair and the cry of pain that would come from a normal child did not come, for they had not been train to be solider at seven.

"We don't call me that when it's play time. You know that." He growls as his hands start pulling off my shirt.

"Yes master." He takes my shirt off and h-

"Y/n." I voice says and I open my eyes and they lock onto some dark brown eyes. "Would you like to do the honours?" A voice rasps. I realize that Kaz is referring to the seven men lined up, held up my Nina, Inej, and Jesper and with some help from Wylan who has a grenade out to scare them.

I feel myself fade away like a I'm ghost.

Come on Y/n, be a good little fawn.

No. I think and push the memories back.

I go to the first three and I simply cut their throats with my double sided daggers. A man laughs and I swiftly turn. I then stab one in the stomach, the one who laughed while I killed the others. He howls in pain, I then simply kill him and the others till it's just the last one left. The monster. The one who dragged me away like a sack of kruge. Like I was a prize for him.

A ballistic smile creeps up on his face like he was paper and someone was drawing my nightmares.

It's my brother.

My brother who has the same smile as my dad, the brother who made fun of me at school, the brother who helped mom and beat me on his own accords as well. The brother who toke after our father in every way.

"You won't kill me." James smiles.

"You won't kill me." My brother says as I pull out a knife with serpent around it's handle.

"You still love me, I'm your brother." I drop the knife and he see's it as his chance and strikes.

The knives shake in my hands but I put them away.

"See." He chuckles like he knew what would happen. Imbecile.

"Your doing it wrong." Kaz limps up to me, the familiar pace of his cane hitting the floor. "You need to have a reason."

"I thought you didn't need one?" I sigh in disappointment of doing it the wrong way. Again. Kaz stares at me for a couple of seconds then shakes his head slightly like he's trying to clear his mind.

"No. You need a reason behind why we're here."

My brows frown in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Limping closer to me he places a hand on my shoulder.

"Why are you here?"

He walks back a bit giving me space to do my work. I suck in a deep breath, why am I here?

I release my weapon, an extension of myself and it doesn't hit the traget.

A man hits the ground with a thud, the man who tried to get a night with me yesterday is dead right on the ground. The blade embedded inside his chest and the snake sticking out.

Checkmate.

Kaz flash's me a smile but I barley catch it and it's gone in a blink.

"Good, not what do you want to be called?"

"Serpent." I whisper as I look up into his eyes.

"The Serpent."

I take out my knife with a snake around it's hilt always looking like it's moving and ready to strike.

Why are you here.

I close my eyes and it's done in a flash.

His ankles and hands are severed off and they drop to the floor like their separate bodies.

I lean in and whisper into his ear.

"The Serpent as struck and it seems." I grin a little.

"She has not granted you the mercy of death."

I lean in closer so only he can hear as he howls out in pain.

"Eight years." I breath. I come back up and turn swiftly out of the Crow Club shoving past Matthias who looks to be horrified but I don't know beause he did survive hellgate.

I stumble into an alleyway and I grip onto the brick wall.

The wolf is no more.

Streaming down my face tears flood my vision as I weep for all the pain, for all the years of torture finally the last one of them is dead.

Thump. Thump.

I hear the rhythmic of the crow cane but it seems to stop.

I lift my head up.

Kaz.

"Breath Y/n." I gasp in a breath and I stumble forward into his arms. I tense up and-

"Come on sister time to be a..."

"I'm not him." He whispers and it pulls me back into reality like an anchor.

He goes to try and touch my face but he stops midway and takes his gloves off. He touches his ungloved hand to my face and I can feel myself losing him to the past.

Think, Y/n! Think! He helped you, he saved you from everything! From your retched family, from the men today! He made it so you could defend yourself! He-

"Sankta Kaz." I blurt.

His eyes snap open and goes to back away.

"No, no, no! You can't possibly think of me as a saint!"

Normally I would be discomposed and would already be running out from embarrassment but a weird calmness wash's over me and a strange sort of serenity makes me want to go swimming.

"You may not be a saint to them." I point out behind him even though there's no people.

"But to me..." I pause trying to find the right words.

"You are my savoir. You saved me from my family." I walk up to him. "You killed my father and mother." I keep on walking closer. "You saved me from myself, you saved me today, and..." I trail off realizing how close we are.

I look into those dark eyes and I barely breath out,

"You gave me freedom."

I hesitantly warp my arms around him and he stiffens up but he relax's in my embrace. Our face's get closer and closer then-

"Why are you here?" It's the question he asked when I first learned how to throw a knife: What do you want?

"I am here because..." I trail off trying to find the words.

"I am here because of the kids." A new found confidence builds up in my chest.

"I am here to help the children safe from their abusive homes. I will help the children of Ketterdam." A fire of passion ignites in me making me bold.

"Will you help me?" The words hang in the air and Kaz looks into my eyes with a calculating gaze.

"I run a gang Y/n." I go to look away my face burning with embarrassment.

"But..." He takes my face into his hands.

"This Bastard can do both I guess." I grin in happiness and our faces finally get closer and we kiss.

Lightning crash's through me but I think of Kaz and our friends. Our lips shift together and I realize now that...

I'm drowning.

I'm drowning in Kaz, I'm absolutely deep into the ocean, falling but never rising. I just keep on going deeper and deeper till I pull away.

We pull away and I feel like a wave just crashed into me Kaz smiled and I whisper;

"Sankta Kaz."

Sankta Kaz the saint of greed. Sankta Y/n the saint of suffering. Together they are the saints of freedom.

Words 2383

-thedelusionreaderbitch

All rights go to Leigh Bardugo, Netflix and you! I just own the plot!

[imaginegenerator]

Chapter One

The Bastard and the Saint

Kaz x reader

Prologue

Summary- Many years ago, Sankta Asterisya, the first Sun Summoner, fought and defeated the Black Heretic, preventing him from covering all of Ravka in the Shadow Fold, losing her life in the process.

At least, that's what history believed.

But nothing that powerful remains dead for long.

Y/n had no clue what the hell was going on. One minute, she was fighting her brother, the next, she was in a dingy room surrounded by three shocked faces gazing at her.

“How in the name of all of Inej’s Saints are you alive?” The Zemeni boy perched in the corner asked her.

Y/n coughed. “I honestly have no idea. The last thing I remember-” she stopped suddenly. Telling a bunch of random strangers that her brother was this evil shadow monster was probably not a good idea. The girl took a deep breath in. “That knife, the one you pulled out of my chest, it’s Fabrikated. It’s made to send a person to sleep, not kill them.”

The boy crouched next to Y/n’s bed tilted his head. “I’ve never heard of anything like that.”

“I have, Kaz.” said the Suli girl sitting on the table by the window. “Sankt Petyr, the blacksmith who armed Sankta Asterisya, was said to have created weapons like this.”

The boy, Kaz, sighed. “Well, it doesn’t matter who created it. What matters,” Kaz turned to Y/n “Is who you are and why someone decided to stab you.”

“My name is Y/n. I was born in Ravka. That’s all I really remember.” That was a lie, of course. She knew everything, from the fight with her brother, the creation of that shadow monstrosity, how he buried the dagger in her chest. Not that she would tell these unknown people any of that.

Kaz seemed to realize this and ran a hand through his hair before turning to the Suli girl. “Inej, please get our new guest some clothes. Jesper,” Kaz spoke to the Zemeni boy, “I need you to make sure that Y/n is given breakfast. I need to speak with Per Haskell.” With that, Kaz swept out of the room, carefully shutting the door behind him. Jesper was next to leave, informing Inej that he would be up with food shortly.

Y/n sighed and stood up, almost falling as the room swayed. Inej grabbed her arm. “Why don’t you sit down. I’d like to talk to you. Kaz may be fine with your mystery act, but I am not.”

The girl nodded. “I told you I was born in Ravka. I was not born alone. I had a brother, a brother who will go unnamed. He was kind, but over time, the world broke him. He tried to kill someone, I tried to stop him. It didn’t work.”

Inej nodded. “Thank you.” Then, quiet as a wraith, she slipped out of the room, leaving Y/n alone with her thoughts.

---

Y/n had just finished the last of her pancake, laughing at Jesper’s dumb gambling story, when Kaz entered the room, his black overcoat whipping dramatically behind him. “If you are to stay with us, you’re going to have to earn it. We have a heist coming up in a few days. I’d like you to come, but only if you have a necessary skill set.”

Y/n nodded. “If you have my swords, I can fight with them. I also have a gift for poison.”

At this, Kaz raised an eyebrow. “Poison? What kind?”

“Any kind, really. Stuff to kill, to temporarily incapacitate, and my personal favorite, hallucinogenics.”

“Perfect. I assume you will need supplies, so Jesper will escort you to the market.” Kaz handed her some kruge. “This is all you get. Do not-” he glared at Jesper, “gamble it all away. Understood?”

“You got it, boss. Help the pretty lady buy her death juice, don’t gamble. Crystal clear.” Jesper winked at Y/n.

Kaz rolled his eyes then strode out of the room, leaving Y/n and Jesper to their shopping.

As the pair slowly walked down the stairs of the Crow Club, the curious eyes of the patrons turned to gaze at the girl. Kaz, sitting in the corner, observed her as she moved through the tables. He saw how Y/n’s jaw tightened before she threw her shoulders back and walked out of the bar, Jesper trailing behind. With her head held high and her hair braided around her head like a crown, Kaz thought she looked like a queen.

Outside of the Club, away from the curious eyes, Y/n finally relaxed. Jesper jogged after her.

“So, what do we need to get?”

Y/n pulled out the list she had made over breakfast. “We need a couple of herbs, I’d like some bottles and things to properly store the poison, and I’d also like a notebook to keep track of everything.”

Jesper nodded. “The market is the best place to get plants, and the apothecary will have your bottles. Notebooks would be at the bookstore.” He gestured to a tall building at the end of the street.

“Thanks, Jesper. For coming with me.” Y/n said as she walked to the store.

The boy shrugged. “It was Kaz’s orders. No one disobeys Kaz.”

Y/n laughed for the first time in what felt like five hundred years. “Fair enough. He certainly has a Look going on.”

Jesper grinned, holding the door open. “He’s a bit dramatic, but it’ll grow on you.”

Y/n laughed again, gazing around the shop. Over on the far wall was a map. Weaving through her way through the books, Y/n approached it, gazing at the familiar image of Ravka, now sliced through with a harsh black mark. She ran her hands over the mark, staring at the name. The Unsea. The Shadow Fold. So that’s what they called it. Her brother’s dammed creation. Jesper walked up behind her, holding a blank notebook.

“Have you never seen a map of Ravka before?”

Y/n sighed. “Not with the Shadow Fold.”

Jesper’s eyes widened in shock. “How long were you in that chest?”

“Far longer than I should have been.”

“But-”

“Please.” Y/n’s eyes burned brightly. “I can’t talk about it, I won’t. Not yet. I need some time.”

Jesper nodded. “Okay. Let’s go get your stuff.”

The pair quickly wove their way through Ketterdam, the sharpshooter still thinking.

Who was Y/n, anyway?

[in-my-feels-probably]

INEFFABLE - Kaz Brekker

Prologue - Before

If you would like to read this on Wattpad, it’s on there as well, my @ is in_my_feels_probably and there’s a few visuals and better descriptions and stuff on there. otherwise, enjoy, let me know what you think, and you can check out my masterlist for updates and more.

INEFFABLE -- Kaz Brekker

ineffable (adj.) 

too great to be expressed in words, utterly indescribable; too sacred to speak of.

Prologue - Before 

Elham Creed had never known what it was like to be part of a family. From a Ravkan orphanage, to the Little Palace, finally landing in Ketterdam, the Barrel, she had never felt the sense of safety and security she had longed for as far back as she could remember. She wouldn’t find it in Ketterdam.

At 13 years old, with nothing but a collapsable sword belted around her waist and the clothes on her back, she had spent the first few days in the Barrel stalking around, stealing scraps of food where she could, trying to get her bearings. The frigid air sweeping over the harbour into the edge of town at night where she slept was enough to make Elham almost miss her room at the Little Palace.

Almost.

She wouldn’t go back, not after her mentor, Baghra’s, warnings. All she could do was push forward and move on. She spent nights alone ducked away into abandoned shacks, using her powers to spark warmth and light, practicing control. Being an inferni had its perks, but Elham was special. She didn’t need a starter, or a piece of flint to create a spark she could turn into a flame. She could create the flame all on her own. She kept this and her powers a secret, however. If the Darkling had taken interest in her abilities, there’s no doubt one of the Barrel bosses would bait her into doing their bidding.

And Elham Creed would do no one's bidding. She would be no one’s puppet.

---

Elham remembered the first time she killed a man. Coincidentally, it was also the first time she met Kaz Brekker. She was now 14, making her way towards the harbour, working on one of the odd jobs she could scam her way into. She headed past the White Rose on the way, one of the most frequented brothels in Ketterdam.

She headed down the alley behind the sorry excuse for an establishment, when she heard a scream. She rounded the corner, to find a man with his hand wrapped tightly around one of the employed girls' wrists, the other hand making its way up her hip, pinning her against the wall.

It’s a shame. Maybe if he had heard her coming, he could have avoided the sword held up to his neck. He could have avoided his death.

Most men in the Barrel, as Elham had come to realize, were not good men. While the “pigeons,” as she had come to know the tourists as, would have tucked tail and ran, this man did not. He only scoffed.

“A sword?” The man had slurred at her, clearly drunk. “You do realize I could have you shot and dead in a second, and get back to this lovely girl you so rudely interrupted me from. Although, you’re a pretty thing. Exotic. Maybe I’ll have you instead,” he had said, reaching for the pistol strapped to his hip.

Big mistake.

With her eyes glossing over, and a rage building inside her, she quickly removed the sword from his throat, and ran it through his back. He sputtered, and fell to his knees, choking on his own blood, or maybe his last words, Elham didn’t take the time to figure out which. She walked around to face his front as he gazed up at her, clutching his stomach with wide eyes. She breathed heavily, eyes wild.

“Good riddance.”

She lifted her foot and sent him sprawling back against the street, blood pooling around him. She glanced back at the girl who was still frozen against the wall, and her eyes softened.

“Thank you,” she whispered, before hurrying back into the White Rose.  Elham only nodded, taking a breath, before turning to head towards the harbour.

That’s when she saw him.

A boy, no older than 14, dressed in black, gloves fitted to his hands. He seemed to be analyzing her, gears turning in his head. Kaz hadn’t mastered his pokerface yet, and Elham was good at reading people. She was unsure why she didn’t feel threatened by his presence, especially since he had just witnessed her kill someone, and she had no idea what his intentions were.

“You just killed a Dime Lion.”

Elham had heard of the gang before, and their leader, Pekka Rollins. She knew she was going to regret interfering with gang business, but her head was beginning to cloud, tears forming in her eyes. But she had saved that girl, she had saved herself, it was a split second decision. Unable to form words, she met the boy's stare.

She only slowly nodded in response.

After pondering for a moment, he had offered to take her to his boss, claiming that she’d be a valuable asset to the team. He’d never admit to her that it really was because he couldn’t bear to see the Barrel swallow up and harden another innocent kid, and maybe it was the way her eyes had glazed over, or how tattered her clothes were, or simply because she didn’t look at him like he was some sort of monster, but he took her in.

It was true, Haskell had been needing a new asset to the team, someone young and quick who could take care of themselves. Bringing a girl back to the Dregs was a risk, and Kaz was in no position to make himself look weak around the gang, but he just couldn’t leave her there in the street. That part of the Rietveld in him hadn’t died yet.

To this day, Elham isn’t sure what made her accept his offer to come with him. After almost a year in Ketterdam, she trusted no one, got close to no one. She had no business getting involved with a gang, she could have walked away, continuing to the harbour for the job assigned to her. There was something about him, though. And going with him was arguably the best decision she has made, she had decided.

---

Elham had been part of the Dregs for a few months, slowly gaining a reputation for herself. Kaz had taken a liking to her, almost admiring how fast she had taken to a life of crime, to the rigidity of the Barrel. He found a secret comfort in her presence, and in the fact that her story was similar to his. She hadn’t revealed much about her past to him, just enough to keep him intrigued.

And he was, despite his brain demanding he think otherwise, intrigued. She was ambitious, and cunning. Most interestingly, however, she was ruthless.

She had killed many men since the day she met Kaz. Barrel men were not good men. Elham made it a point to seek out the men who only caused pain. Men like the first man she had killed, men like Pekka Rollins and his Dime Lions. Men like them didn’t get to cause all the pain and suffering they did, and live.

Kaz had dubbed her, “The Valkyrie,” once, while on a job. The other Dregs took a liking to it, and it stuck. She asked him many times what it meant, why he would call her that, but he only smirked to himself, amused by her new found reputation, much to her annoyance.

He finally explained it to her, the night he broke his leg. They had been paired on the job together, and it had gone disastrously. They were sprinting along a rooftop, when Kaz made a bad landing, completely breaking the bone in his leg.

It was the first time she touched him.

When she first joined the Dregs, she had quickly picked up on the fact that he didn’t want to be touched. She could sense his unease when they had to be close together on jobs in tight spaces, or when one of the drunken Dregs would pat him on the back for a job well done, or during a brawl with a rival gang. She always kept her distance, respecting his space.

But this time, she had no choice. Kaz was crying out in pain, and Elham knew she had to get him back to the Slat to get his leg reset, and out of harm's way. She clicked the button on her belt and grabbed for the hilt of her sword, and with a flick of her wrist, it unfolded into place to its full length. Kaz had pulled himself to a kneeling position, desperately trying to hide his vulnerability, eyes frantically looking for an escape. She offered the hilt of her sword to him.

“Kaz, you have to let me help you. I’m sorry, but you have to let me. Hold onto the hilt, and on three, I’m going to tug under your arm to get you standing. We’ve got to get you back to the Slat before you pass out from the pain or we get ourselves killed out here.” He only gave her a pained look, before nodding, and they slowly made their way back to the Slat, with him putting as much weight on the hilt as he could, Elham trying her best to make sure he couldn’t feel her fingers through his jacket as she dragged him along.

Hours later, while he lay unconscious on the cot in his room, Elham had anxiously waited in the chair in the corner of the room. She hadn’t realized how much she had grown to care for Kaz, for him and her life with the Dregs. She knew she would have killed for him that night if it came to it, no doubt about it in her mind. Kaz only awoke for a few minutes that night, and had mumbled a few words to her.

“Do you know what Valkyrie means? It means ‘chooser of the slain.’ It seems like you choose who lives and dies around the Barrel. Killing men, making sure I don’t die. It’s fitting, isn’t it?” He had joked to her, the faintest of grins tugging at his lips. Elham had sucked in a breath, and offered a small smile at him, standing to leave as he drifted off, knowing he was going to be alright. Broken, as she knew he would think of himself, but alright.

---

It had been a few years in the Dregs, as the Crows slowly formed. First Jesper, then Inej. The Dregs had become a force to be reckoned with in Ketterdam. Despite their ages and newness to the life of a gang, The Sharpshooter, the Wraith, the Valkyrie, and Dirtyhands were well known identities around the Barrel.

They had hardened over the years, Kaz more so than any of them, the Barrel being a quick teacher in offering harsh life lessons.

Elham remembered the first time one of them uttered the words, “no mourners, no funerals.” Inej had been interested in what Elham’s name meant, Elham meaning inspiration, Creed meaning belief or law. A particular favorite member of the Dregs, and a friend of Rotty’s, had been killed on a job. Elham took this particularly hard, he was one of the men that had made her transition into the gang easier.

They sat silently in her room together, when Jesper spoke softly. “You know, I’ve been thinking about your name. Creed. Maybe, ‘no mourners, no funerals’ could be our creed.” Elham had let a tear roll down her cheek at that, and she nodded at Jesper, letting him grab her hand, while Inej, perched on the window ledge, laid her hand on Elhams shoulder. Kaz had lifted his eyes from the floor when Jesper spoke, his eyes landing on the girl. He slowly slid his cane towards her, softly tapping the end at the base of her ankle, before returning to his original position.

It was one of Elham’s favorite memories of them. Of him.

The Crows were chaotic and an odd group, but they were Elham’s family, as close as she would ever get to one. Saint’s forbid she ever told them that, it would go straight to Jesper’s head. But they were enough for her. Her Crows were enough. And they were about to raise a little bit of hell.

---

A/N - hi everyone, omg im so excited about this book, i hope you liked the prologue, im working on the first few chapters and will have them up soon. let me know what you think so far, and thank you for the support!

[lady-ashfade]

The little ear

Kaz brekker x male!reader

This was just to get me back into writing, and also I needed to feed the males something. Also yes I know the title is funny and weird.

Warnings; Flirting, kinda oc kaz.

There was only one person who knew of you, Inej. Kaz had hired you a few times, a little ear for things he needed to know. But that’s as far as it went, you weren’t a crow but a waiter at a bar a few blocks away.

“I need you to watch out for him. There will be a few men heading his way tonight, protect him at all cost.” Kaz was simple with his information. The only thing she knew was your name and where you would be.

And it was exactly like kaz had said, three men followed you out of the bar and into the alleyways. Inej stop them from hurting you, and you didn’t seem that startled by her appearance. “You must be the wraith.” You smirked at her.

“Well, thank you for your service. Come visit me at work sometime and I’ll give you a free meal.” You looked at the men passed out on the stone ground and walked over them. “And tell kaz, that I miss his pretty face.” Winking at her you left without another word.

After that she did see you more. Inej actually was comforted by your presence when she would come and see you. But, the tension between you and kaz was anything but hidden. Kaz sent her to you all the time, asking about you each time she would go on her own. And you constantly smiled when talking about him, or throwing comments around. So when the rest of the crows got to meet you, it surprised them.

“What can I get you?” You leaned over the table and filled their cups with water.

“I have a job for you.” Kaz looked up at you with the dull expression. “Hmm, and what’s that handsome?” Leaning on your hands you flirt with him.

Inej smiled but the rest looked at each other as if someone crazy happened, and it did. Kaz title his head and smirked up at you, “When does Thomas Lam come here?”

Jesper looked like his head was going to explode, kaz was flirting back. Wylan was just sitting back and looking between the two of you, Nina was smirking but frozen and couldn’t wait to tease kaz about it. Matthias knew the look in his eyes, the same look he gives nina.

“Every Wednesday in the afternoon, then on Saturday when the place opens. He likes the freshly baked pies.” You bring your eyes away from him and then look at the others with a smile. You asked them what they wanted and they stayed quiet, except for Nina who needed her food.

“I need you to come with us to his mansion, you’ll get Inej in because they know your face. You’ll deliver a box in the kitchen and then Inej could get around and let us in.” He was more of asking if you where up to it then telling.

“What’s in it for me, brekker?” They all could see the mischievous look in your eyes as you leaned closer to him.

“Money.” He stated. Kaz could help but flicker his eyes down to your lips as you smirked.

“I need to get back to work, and when I return you should have a better offer.” They all watch you walk away and into the kitchen doors.

After a few seconds of silence between the table the group broke out into giggles, kaz looked at them confused. Inej smiled that they caught on quickly and saw what she had to for mouth.

Kaz raised a brow and asked them what they were laughing at, his face looked annoyed. “That was painful.” Jesper admitted and hit his chest. “I never expected to see kaz that way.” Wylan said beside his boyfriend and held onto his arm.

“If you don’t offer yourself as payment kaz, I will knock you over the head.” Nina winked at him and he groan and told them to shut up. But they did not stop and continued to make fun of him and talk about it.

Kaz turned away from them and glared at the ground. He was going to make sure to never bring them here again.



[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

The Diffrence

pairing(s): kaz brekker x sister!reader (nikolai lantsov x reader)

genre: fluff

warning(s): slight (major but breifly mentioned) spoiler of ck

Kaz Brekker didn’t have a heart. That was known to every person in Ketterdam but one. Y/N Brekker knew that her brother was still in him somewhere. She saw Retvield almost everyday in the little things he did for her. Whether it was walking her to her room everynight, or making sure she eats breakfast. She noticed all the ways he still took care of her which only made her tease him for constantly saying the barrel is the kind of place where it’s kill or be killed. She did agree with that, but it was funny to see the same man who can cut your tongue out, serve you tea with sugar. 

Other than the fact that they were siblings, they had drastically different personalities. But only one distinct moment from their pasts really set them apart. Y/N was never on the boat. She didn’t see all those dead bodies, or use her eldest brother’s body as a raft. She was to be left in the alleyway, and she watched as these strange men took her brothers and threw them onto the boat like they meant nothing. 

“Stop! No! You don’t understand!” Y/N chased after the older men as fast as her little legs could carry her. Her high pitched voice echoing through the streets as she yelled at them to give her brothers back. “You can’t do this!” But the men paid no mind to her and they kept moving to the docs with a barrel of bodies in front of them. Shivers ran down the little girl’s arms and legs as the cold breeze seeped through the thin cloth of her well-worn night gown. Her small feet ached and begged to stop running but she wouldn’t let them, not when her big brothers were being taken away. “Please! I need them! You can’t do this!” She didn’t quite understand what they were doing, but she knew that wherever they were taking Kaz and Jordie, she wouldn’t ever see them again. Her legs finally gave out from under her when they reached the docs and she watched in terror as they threw the only family she had left onto a large boat. A horrified scream ripped its way through her throat without her consent. And she didn’t stop screaming or crying. Nothing could have gotten her to stop as she watched the boat sail away.

That’s the difference between Kaz and Y/N. 

Once he got back to Ketterdam he searched frantically for his sister and finally found her curled up deep inside the same alleyway the three of them slept in. Her filthy, torn blanket wrapped around her tiny figure in a weak attempt to keep warm. Her hair in it’s usual braid. The sight broke the nine-year-old’s heart into a million peices, but also brought a sense of comfort. He still had family. He walked forward with caution as fear settled into his stomach. She looked too still. He knelt down next to her and saw the subtle rise and fall of her chest. He sighed in relief and sat down next to her with his back leaning against the wall. Finally able to catch some rest he fell asleep next to his little sister. 

~

Y/N sighed as she stretched her legs and rested her feet on the corner of Kaz’s desk. “Do you ever miss home?” Kaz looked up from the papers piling on his desk, “What do you mean?” She ran her hand through her hair, pulled it all to one side and started braiding it. “I mean do you ever miss ma and da? Jordie? Our farm? The animals? The fields? Any of it really.” He froze. Of course he missed it all sometimes, but he couldn’t afford to. “No. Not really-” Y/N groaned, “No no no, don’t start lying to me. Truth only, please.” 

He let out a sigh, trying to hide his chuckle. He stared at her in what she would call fondness. He can’t believe how much she’s grown from the little girl who would hide behind him and scream everytime a crow would land in front of them. “Yes I miss home. But we can’t dwell on it too much.” 

She smiled to herself, “I know.” 

~

“So you think we can actually pull this off?” Jesper’s voice held a tone of disbelief as he placed his hands on the table. Kaz only nodded his head and started rolling up the maps. “Okay… We’re gonna break into the Ice Court. No problem.” Y/N chuckled and brushed her hair back for the tenth time as the sea salt wind swept through her braid. “Yeah, no problem at all. Not like it’s the most secure building in the world.” Kaz shot her a sharp glare to which she just stuck her tongue out at him. Nina smirked and nudged the younger girl, “No sarcasm, lil Brekker.” 

Y/N placed a hand over her heart in mock offense, “Me? Sarcastic? Never!” She laughed and walked over to Kaz, quickly snatching his hat and placing it on her head. “Well, I’m exhausted so I’m gonna go to sleep. Good night.” She gave everyone an extravagant bow before she turned and hopped down the steps, walking down to the private room that was assigned to Kaz and herself.

Matthias looked at Kaz with his head slightly tilted, “So… You are related to… Her?” Kaz rolled his eyes, “Yes. She’s my sister.”

~

Y/N sat with her head between her knees rocking back and forth. You’d think she was being attacked, or she was sad… A sharp wail came from across the tomb and Y/N groaned before she muttered a few colorful words she picked up from Jesper. “Y/N stop acting like you’re dying.” Her head snapped up and met a pair of eyes identical to her own. “I. Am. Dying. Can’t you hear her? She sound’s like a dying cat!” Kaz winced as Alys continued her song. Matthias looked around at everyone, “Haven’t any of you been around a pregnant woman? She needs comfort.” He sighed, stood up and sat next to the expecting mother, telling her to lie down and rest her feet up. Y/N rolled her eyes as Kaz gave her a look. A look that told her to go help. “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care and like this totally isn’t your fault?” 

~

“Can I take a moment to point out that, one-” Y/N stood up and fired at the people on the other side of the crates and barrels they were hiding behind. “I never signed up for this. Like-” She quickly ducked back down. “I literally didn’t have a choice.” She smirked when Kaz threw her an annoyed look. “And two-” She reached for her second gun, “I disagree with Jesper when he says I need anger management.” She reached up to fire blindly over the crates. “People just need to stop ticking me off.” Inej paused for a split second next to her, “You realize we could possibly die right now, right?” She shrugged, “I figured if I’ve lived this long, I’m probably invincible or something.”

~ 

Y/N walked through the door of Wylan and Jesper’s new mansion. She spun in a slow circle with wide eyes, trying to take everything in. She opened her mouth to ask a question but Jesper beat her to it, “No you can’t live with us. You’re staying at the Slat.” She stopped and glared at him, “I… Love you. You- you enormously stubborn pain in the neck.” He smirked, “I know you had other words to say and you held them back. I’m proud of you.” She rolled her eyes, “Oh, shut up.”

~

Y/N hung off the edge of the titanium beams being raised up to the flying ship. A terrified scream ripped through her throat before she could stop herself. She felt her braid fall loose, “No! My hair tie!” The annoying face with blonde hair knelt down, “Did you just scream for your hair tie? You’re literally hanging and you could die in a second.” Y/N shot the young king a glare, “Yes I just screamed for my hair tie. And I’m aware I’m hanging right now, but I’m pretty sure I’m invincible or something if I haven’t died yet.” 

She saw him roll his eyes, “Take me hand!” She struggled to keep her grip on the beam as it swayed in the wind. “No! Where’s my brother?!” 

“He’s on the other side! Look, I’m not asking you to marry me! I’m trying to save you!” Nikolai reached a bit farther for her hand. Y/N tried to pull herself high enough to reach his hand and finally grasped it tightly. “Okay, now pull me up!” He heaved her back up onto the beam and rolled his eyes as she rushed to her brother’s side. “Yeah, no problem. Just saved your life, that’s all. Not like you could’ve died or anything.” She rolled her eyes, “If you’re expecting a phrase of gratitude, you’re gonna be waiting for a long time, You're Highness.” 

~ (we’re gonna pretend that nikolai is around the same age as the crows. k? k. ALSO matthias isn’t dead)

“So you want to marry her?” Kaz leaned back against his desk as he observed the blond king’s appearance as if he’s never seen him before. Which isn’t true, because he’s been over a lot. “What makes you think you deserve her?” Nikolai looked at him, “I don’t deserve her, I know that. But I really love her, with my whole heart. And I respect her, and yourself enough to come and ask for your blessing.” Kaz bit back his smirk and diverted his eyes to one of his bookshelves. “Okay. You have my blessing.” 

“YES! HE SAID YES!”  Y/N’s voice was heard outside the office door and was followed by more murmuring voices and giggles. 

~

Y/N sat on the soft sofa Nikolai had in his office, with a book in her lap and her cup of tea on the side table. The only sounds heard was the scratching of Nikolai’s quill and the pages of her book being turned every few minutes. Y/N’s head turned towards the door when she heard the distant pounding of footsteps down the hallway. “Please don’t come here. Please don’t come here.” An amused chuckle was heard behind her when the door opened. “You’re highness.” Nikolai stood from his desk, “Yes?” “There are six people threatening the front guards, saying that if they don’t let them in they’ll kill all the gaurds and find a way in anyway.” Nikolai’s eyes widened as Y/N’s sparkled with amusement. A laugh fell from her lips, “That’d be my family.” 

She put her book down and rushed out the door, running down the halls, making her way to the main entrance. She held the front of her dress in her hands as she ran down the front steps. Six figures stood in front of four guards who tried to get them off palace grounds. “No!” The four guards froze in place at the sound of the queen’s voice. “They’re with me.” Once they step aside Y/N rushed to give Inej and Nina a hug, followed by Wylan, Jesper and Matthias. Kaz stood with his cane in front of him and watched his sister, all grown up and clothed in a nice dress with her hair pinned up at the back of her head instead of its usual braid. 

She stopped in front of him with her hands clasped together and smiled, “Kaz.” 

He smirked and nodded his head slightly, “Y/N.” 

~

“No you can’t play with knives.” 

“Muuuum! Please!” Y/N resisted the urge to roll her eyes, “Okay fine. But if you get hurt that’s not my fault.” Her son ran down the stairs in the Crow Club to practice with Inej. Kaz smirked and shook his head in amusement, “How did you even become a mother?” Y/N turned and smirked, “Well, you see… When two people love each other very very much-” “Okay. Yes. I know that.” She laughed at the disgusted look that painted his face. “But really… I have no idea. I’m still not ready to be a mother and I’ve been one for the last eight years.” 

The two siblings leaned on the railing, watching the commotion of their family downstairs. Y/N laughed as she saw Nikolai wince when his son’s blade missed him by mere inches. Kaz turned his head and smiled at his younger sister. “Do you ever miss home?” A flash of nostalgia crossed her face, “What do you mean?” He let out a raspy chuckle, “I mean do you ever miss ma and da? Jordie? Our farm? The animals? The fields? Any of it really.” 

Y/N looked back down to their family. Jesper and Wylan sitting next to Nikolai at the bar, laughing over some stories. Inej knelt behind the youngest boy in the family, helping hold the knife properly. Matthias and Nina sat at a nearby table, the latter laughing into her hand when the knife slipped from the youngest’s hand and embeded itself in the wooden table. 

She looked back to Kaz, “Sometimes… But I have home right here.”

[vanilla-vivillon]

Happy Wesper Week! We are doing a Wylan POV because I can’t write charm at all. This is a modern AU bachelor party. The grisha powers exist but everything else is made into there real life equivalent

TW very brief mentions of sex trafficking.

What am I doing here? Wylan thought to himself

When his boyfriend Jesper insisted on throwing there good friend Matthias a bachelor party Wylan thought maybe they would go to a nice bar or play some party games

Not get crazy drunk, Not set fire to the Dutch Garden, not get chased by cops, not perform a gas station heist and not catch one of his best friends making out with a gas station cashier

However it seemed the universe didn’t care for the thoughts of little ole Wylan Hendricks

“Let’s get this party started!” The Australian yelled

Wylan had to remindhimself he loved his boyfriend Jesper

“Can you not shout?” Matthias, the groom to be, begged

Wylan, Jesper, and there friends Kaz and Kuwei were throwing a bachelor party for Matthias

It took a lot to convince the Norwegian that this was indeed a great idea

Wylan had never been to a bachelor party before but he was excited for his boyfriend who adored them

“Do we really have to go to this bar Jesper?” Kaz groaned seeing the crazy bright neon sign

After years of knowing Kaz Brekker Wylan could tell that Kaz was cursing Inej for telling him to come

Nevertheless the boys all walk in and start ordering shots

“Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!” The boys chanted egging on Kaz and Matthias drinking contest

Well it was mostly Jesper and Kuwei chanting Wylan after having a couple drinks was staring at the twinkle in Jespers eyes

He really was beautiful Wylan thought to himself

Wylan attended the University of Amsterdam to mostly escape his father.

There he met his lifelong friends

Matthias a grumpy international exchange student who grew up in a very prominent and dangerous cult in Norway. He wants to be a Norwegian ambassador

Nina Zenik, a heartrender turned corpse witch who was actually a russian spy back in the day. Now she’s working to become an ambassador

Inej Ghafa, she started a non profit to help stop sex trafficking whitch takes her all over the World but she used to. be an acrobat and after that worked with Kaz as his spy

Kaz Brekker, someone who Wylan after years of knowing him isn’t quite sure if there truly friends, or the semi illegal activities he gets up to. Wylan thought his hacking days would be done after University but Kaz has built an online criminal empire

Kuwei Yul Bo a scientists apprentice from China. He was currently working on his masters degree along side Wylan.

And Jesper. How to describe Jesper Fahey. He was an exchange student from Australia. A fabricator with a gift with Guns. While Jesper loved his pistols he actually works for a nonprofit dedicated to gun safety and regulation

After a highly illegal heist on there trip to Norway during college they all bonded as a group

Especially Wylan and Jesper

Jesper with that twinkle

Jesper with that laugh

Jesper with the way he looked at him now

After many more drinks Kuwei had the idea of the century

“Yooooooo y’know what’s a good idea?” Kuwei said bringing his head up from where it was previously glued to the table

“More shhhhhhhhhots?” Jesper suggested clearly as drunk as Wylan

“A couple blocks away is The Dutch Garden, wanna see some prrrrrrrrrrretty flowers?”

Fun fact this is a real place in Amsterdam

Wylan turned towards Kaz expecting him to veto it then and there but to Wylans shock and horror Kaz said “Hell yeah”

“But, but, it’s super late it’s gonna be closed!” Matthias spluttered out

“We can sneak in from the back fence” Jesper said

When Jesper drank his Australian accent whitch had soften over the years of living in Amsterdam came through in all of its glory

When Wylan first met Jesper he thought he was completely out of his league

And that damn accent drove Wylan Insane

While Wylan was contemplating the wonder that was Jesper Llewelyn Fahey it seemed the group made a decision without him

And Wylan thought for the first time in this bachelor party

What am I doing here?

“C’mon Wylan just climb!” Kuwei whisper screamed at Wylan

The drunken lads had made it to the Garden and had found an area where there was a fence they could climb with relative ease

All of the others made it to the other side

Except Wylan

“Don’t you want to seeeeeee the flowwwwwwwers?” Kaz insisted

If Wylan needed any more proof he was the soberest man out of all of them Kaz saying the word ‘pretty’ that isn’t referencing Inej was a clear sign

“Baby pleeeeease” Jesper begged

Oh

Oh no

Not that face

Wylan thought of himself as a sensible person who doesn’t succumb to pressure easily

But when his boyfriend made that face

Where his cool grey eyes went big

And his face had a slight flush to it

Wylan

Broke

“Fine! But if we get arrested it’s on you guys!”

With the ease of a spider who’s leg got chopped off by a middle aged housewife who’s husband is cheating on her climbing up a wall Wylan somehow got across

It wasn’t pretty

And it wasn’t gonna make Kaz proud

But it was completed

Panting Wylan on the ground said “I think this is my biggest accomplishment”

“Not…. Putting away your father? Or growing past your Internalised homophobia? Or writing your first essay on your own?” Matthias suggested clearly bewildered

Hey so i know Wylan can’t actually read. But seeing as this is modern day and plenty of dyslexic people can read with help, I figured that Jan would refuse to take Wylan to a doctor or get him help with his dyslexia believing it was weak making Wylan unable to read. Buuuuut when he’s older it makes sense to me he does learn. I’m not trying to invalidate his experiences or “fix” him but for the sake of a modern AU I had to change some things.

“Nope. It’s climbing this fence” Wylan laughed as Jesper helped him up

“Everyday you remind why your my favorite human” Jesper said with a laugh

“Ewwwww it’s like you guys like to remind how I’m the only single one” Kuwei said with a throwing up motion

“Thanks Jesp- wait human?” Wylan asked confused

“Well my favorite thing is Milo of course” Jesper winked

“The- the goat in Russia?” Kaz inquired not quite wanting to believe what Jesper was saying

To Wylans knowledge Kaz, Inej and Jesper did some job in Russia before he ever met them

“Why of course” Jesper slung an arm around Wylan who was not quite sure how to feel about this goat

Kaz went to go look at some purple flowers and contemplate his life choices

“Oh my god guys…….” Matthias started “the flowers! They’re- they’re”

“Cmon Matty, share with the class” Kaz said apparently bored with the purple flowers

“They’re so preeeeeeeetty” Matthias eyes welled up with tears

“Oh Saints tell me he’s not crying” Kuwei Moaned

Jesper walked over to where Matthias was stroking a hydrangea

“They are soooooooo pretty” Jespers eyes also Welled up with tears

“Fuck this shit” Kuwei said taking out a lighter and cigarette

“Hey! Smoking is very bad for you Kuwei!” Wylan lectured

“Wylan. I’m an inferni. Smoking foesnt affect us” Kuwei rolled his golden brown eyes

“Yeah but we’re in a highly flammable garden! And the rest of us aren’t inferni!” Wylan said

It seemed during Kuwei and Wylans arguement Kaz had also joined the cult of flowers that Matthias and Jesper were fixated on

“Wylan stop smoke shaming me!” And the scientists went back and fourth

“KUWEI YOU PIECE OF-“ Wylan started then sniffed the air “is that, is that smoke?” Wylan asked

“Holy shit dudes there’s a fire!” Kaz yelled pointing at where the cigarette Kuwei droppped

It seemed that the cigarette lit fire to a big wall of flowers

“This is why I never wanted a bachelor party!” Matthias moaned

The boys could hear voices coming towards them

Then all of the men looked at each other

And all of them yelled “RUN!”

All of them starting sprinting to the fence

And Kaz with his limp scrambled up that fence the fastest

Guess his determination to not get caught was strong

Wylan started climbing as fast as he could whitch wasn’t very fast

“Cmon Merchling!” Jesper said at the top reaching out a hand to his boyfriend

Wylan took it and stared at the steel eyes that had first enraptured him years ago

“Hey Stop!” Looking back Wylan and Jesper saw three security guards running towards them and yelling at them to stop

Jesper yanked Wylan up and they both fell off the fence in a pile

Jesper took Wylans hand and they all started booking it to Wylan’s car

Wylan who had sobered up in the whole endeavor determined that he was probably sober enough to drive

Piling in they all shoved themselves in the car

Wylan turned on the gas and starte to get the car back on the road

“I can’t believe we ran from cops!” Matthias said in between panting

“That was awesome!” Jesper exclaimed from the passenger seat

Wylan laughed

He had never been a spontaneous person

It seemed this night was a lot more fun then he thought

Until he heard the sirens

From the backseat Kaz turned

And three police cars were zooming towards them

“I am not going down for arson!” Kuwei yelled

“Wylan stop driving like a grandma and go faster! There gaining on us!” Kaz screamed at Wylan

“I can’t there’s a stoplight!”

“Run it!” Jespers shrill voice screamed at him

And Wylan did what he swore to never do

He took a deep breath

And ran that light as fast as he could

They were flying

Wylan had never seen how fast he could make his car go

Turns out it was fast

Wylan used some of his dads money to buy a sports car just to rub it in Jans face

With the top off and blood rushing through Wylans head he had never felt more alive

His boy beside him

His friends behind him

“WOOOOOOOOO!” Kuwei yelled throwing his hands up

Jesper joined Kuwei as the car sped down the street

Matthias was looking a little green

“Matty you okay back there?” Wylan shouted back at the Norwegian

“No!” Matthias shouted over the roar of engine and Jesper and Kuweis yips and yells

Some point during this Kaz called Inej

“Inej I hate thissssss!” Wylan couldn’t hear what Inej said back but from the pieces Kaz gave it was obvious

“No im not drunk!……. Psh of course those aren’t sirens…… Inej we might’ve bended the law but I swear it wasn’t my fault!…….. alright bye. ….I love you to….”

After what seemed like an eternity Wylan finally lost the police

Laughing the Wylan pulled into a gas station for refill

Wylan stepped out of the car and began to refill his car and thought for the millionth time what am I doing here?

“Wylannnnnn” Kuwei moaned

“What Kuwei?” Wylan said already exasperated

“Wylan I’m hungryyyyyy”

“Then go grab some chips or something!”

“But I don’t want to pay for it!”

“Then I guess that sucks for you!”

“You got like a million dollars from stealing me from Norway! You owe me!”

Ghezen Wylan hated drunk people

“Let’s perform a heist on the gas station!” Matthias said apparently done feeling sick

“What? No! We aren’t stealing from the gas station!” Wylan lectured

“It might actually be fuuuuuuun Wy” Kaz begged

The rest of the party were already getting out of the car ignoring Wylans protests

“We will do a simple distract act, Kuwei will go in first and lead the cashier away, and then we go in and steal chips” Kaz explained

It seemed even drunk Kaz could scheme

“This is insane!” Wylan exclaimed

“You said that about rescuing Kuwei from the Norwegian government but that ended up great” Matthias replied

They were gonna do this with or without Wylan

With a sigh Wylan thought what am I doing here?

Kuwei had gone in and had given the single

Wylan had walked in after pretending to look at some sodas and after Kuwei went into the back room with the cashier Wylan sent a quick text to the rest of the guys to come In and get raiding

Like clockwork Matthias, Jesper, and Kaz went in and they started ransacking the place

Wylan was in charge of Sodas, Matthias was in charge of Chips, and Jesper was in charge of Candy

Kaz had the most important job of all

He had to hack into there computers and wipe the security cameras

If Kaz couldn’t do that then Kaz would have to actually hack into the computers from his phone

It almost suprised Wylan how quickly efficiently, and quietly, a bunch of drunk guys could ransack a gas station

Wylan did feel guilty for a moment

But then he remembered how the CEO of the company the gas station is owned by has had multiple sexual misconduct allegations and Wylan felt better

Wylan got all the soda he could carry and rushed back to the car dumping them in the backseat

Soon after Matthias followed then Jesper and a little while after Kaz

Wylan did a quick headcount “wait where’s Kuwei?”

Wylan checked his phone

No texts from him

Shit shit shit

“Someone has to go back in” Kaz said

“I’ll go after him” Wylan said with a sigh

He loved Kuwei like a brother

But like an annoying little brother constantly getting himself in messes

Wylan Walked in and saw the e cashier wasn’t back

Wylan walked through the store and then heard something towards the men’s bathroom

Walking closer to the door the noises were getting a bit louder

Wylan opened the door slamming it against the wall

There stood a wide eyed Chinese kid and from the green uniform Wylan guessed was the cashier

The cashier who was standing between Kuweis legs. Kuwei who was sitting in the edge of the bathroom sink

There’s arms were around each other

Wylan was confused

What was Kuwei doing?

Oh

Oh

“Get your ass in the car Kuwei!” Wylan yelled

Kuwei gave whispered sorries to the cashier while collecting his jacket he apparently threw off

Wylan dragged Kuwei by the arm outside the store

“Kuwei. When we say distract the cashier, that means distract, not make oht with him!” Wylan lectured

“Cmon Wylan you saw him, he was cute!”

“Your drunk Kuwei!”

“Aren’t we all a little drunk in life?”

“That makes absolutely no sense” Wylan said with a sigh “just go to the car”

Kuwei happily skips away

Wylan had just dropped off Matthias at his and Ninas apartment after dropping off Kaz and Kuwei

Leaving just Wylan, Jesper, and an unhealthy amount of snacks in the car

“Hey Wylan” Jesper said

“Yes Jes?”

“I love you”

“I love you to Jesper”

“No wylan” Jesper took Wylan’s face in his hands

“I really love you” Jesper Pushed a ginger lock away from Wylans face

Jesper then reached into his pocket and pulled out a rumpled purple flower and tucked it into Wylans hair “I really really really love you”

Wylan blinked. Jesper was so drunk.

Wylan gave Jesper a soft smile and placed a kiss on his mouth

“I love you to Jesper”

And suddenly Wylan knew exactly what he was doing there

Finnally finished this in the Nick of time! @neilperryisalive I hope you enjoy this! I was seriously worried I wouldn’t be able to finish it but I did! I’ve never written Wesper but I really enjoyed it. My ask box is open and I take any Grishaverse requests

[promenadewithme]

Congratulations on 50 followers!! Could I request Matthia Helvar with Night Changes by One Direction, please? Thanks so much!! 🥰

Thank you, nonie!! I hope you like this!

Pairing: Matthias Helvar x fem!reader

Song: Night Changes - One Direction

Warnings: swearing, protective Matthias, heist!

Word Count: 1,2k

Night Changes

“This one!” said Nina, holding up a revealing red dress. Tonight the crows were going on a heist and your job was to distract one of the merchers, Claudios Vos, long enough for Kaz, Wylan and Inej to get in and out of his estate with the blueprints they needed. Nina and Matthias would stand watch and Jesper would stay at the crow club with you.

“Perfect!” you exclaimed, grabbing the dress and putting it on. Nina then started working on your hair and makeup, saying how much Matthias would love it. You and the fjerdan started dating a while ago, after the Ice Court heist. It took a little time for him to warm up to the crows, but you’ve found out that criminal and near death experiences tend to bring people together.

“I’m done! Saints, you won’t even have to say anything to distract the man!” she giggled and dare you say she was right. You looked stunning! The heartrender had styled your hair in loose curls, painted your lips scarlet and applied black mascara to your eyelashes. You smiled at your reflection, noticing how the dress clung to all the right places. You were never one to show your body, it was a dangerous thing to do in the barrel, so you stuck to loose dark clothes that facilitate movement and left you in the shadows. Not tonight.

Nina grabbed your hand and led you downstairs, where the crows were waiting. Jesper was the first to notice the two of you, emitting a low whistle.

“Hello, gorgeous!” he said, leaning on the counter and you giggled, doing a quick spin. 

Matthias was not smooth as Jesper, turning a deep shade of crimson and thinking ‘everything she never had she’s showing off’. He snaps out of his trance, taking off his jacket and covering your cleavage. 

“No.” he declared.

“No?” you asked in an amused tone.

“No.” he maintained. Then it hit you, he was jealous.

“You like it!” you exclaimed with a grin and Matthias blushed even more if it was possible.

“It doesn’t matter that I like it, it matters that the other men will like it too.” he muttered.

“Yeah, that’s kind of the point.” chuckled Jesper.

“What do I do if he wants to leave?” you asked Kaz.

“You try to convince him to sleep with you.” he answered, adjusting his gloves.

“What?” Matthias stammered.

“It’s not like he’ll accept.” said Kaz in a monotonous tone.

“In that dress? He’d have to be a very dedicated priest not to accept!” exclaimed Jesper and you hit his arm, giving a warning glare.

“Hey,” you cupped the fjerdan’s chin and looked him in the eyes “I’m yours and I promise I’ll be safe.” he nodded curtly and you gave him back his jacket.

Jesper rubbed his hands together quickly before saying “It’s show time.”

“There he is.” Jesper nodded in the target’s direction, pouring a glass of whiskey for you.

“No mourners,” you murmured.

“No funerals.” he replied quietly and you started walking, or rather stumbling, towards the mercher. You took a small sip of the drink and bumped into the man.

“I’m so terribly sorry,” you slurred and looked up at him “I can be quite clumsy.” he looked you up and down, stopping at your breasts and you had to repress a gag.

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing drinking something so strong?” he asked with a disgusting smirk.

“My boyfriend broke up with me.” you pouted exaggeratedly and he mirrored you actions.

“You poor thing... I’m Claudios Vos. Would you like to have a good time?” another gag.

“I’d love that!” you answered excitedly. 

“Come on then, let’s play some poker.” he sat down and pulled you onto his lap.

Three games later, you impressed by how much the man could bluff. 

“You are so smart!” you giggled “How do you remember all the cards?” you asked tilting your head to the side like a helpless puppy. 

“It’s not that hard, sugar cakes.” you had to repress a cringe.

“Can you teach me?” you asked, bashing your lashes.

“Oh no, I don’t think a woman could learn this game.” he said laughing and the other men at the table laughed along. You wanted to kill him, but spilling your drink on him was enough.

“Oh! I am so sorry! Here, let me help you clean that.” he stood up.

“Don’t worry, I’ll just go to the restroom. You go order us a glass of champagne!” he exclaimed and slapped your butt. You had to bite your tongue making your way to Jesper.

“It’s been 5 hours, how much longer will they take?” you asked as the zemni boy grabbed a bottle of champagne and handed it to you.

“The most expensive bottle in the house for that slap.” he said and winked at you. “I’m sure they’ll be back soon.” as soon as he said that, a boy came running into the club.

“Where is Mr Vos?” he cried out.

“Shit.” you mumbled looking back at Jesper.

“Can I not have one night of fun?” he cried out “What is it?” 

“There has been a break in.” the poor boy looked like he was going to pass out.

“Get me my coat.” Vos replied. You made your way to him, trying to keep the man here.

“Where are you going? I thought we were having fun!” you flirted.

“We were, but it seems there has been a break in.” he answered gravely.

“I’m sure your servants can take care of it, why don’t we get a room and have even more fun?” when he smirked down at you with lust in his eyes, fear took over your body. Kaz said he wouldn’t accept! What the hell do I do now?

“What is all the fuss about?” said Kaz, who appeared out of nowhere, and you thanked the saints.

“There has been a robbery, sir.” said the boy.

“Well then, take the confusion outside. Don’t want to scare the pigeons.” then he turned around and went up the stairs, into his office.

“Another day.” affirmed Vos, going out the door. You let out a relieved sigh and went looking for Matthias. After a while, you found him sitting on the roof.

“What are you doing up here? Are you hurt? What happened?” you sat next to him and cupped his face so he would look at you. 

“Everything was going fine, then someone came in and suddenly we were running here, trying not to die. I-” he looked at his hands then back at you “Does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes?”

You sighed. “It’s part of being a crow, the uncertainty, the fear, the possibility of everything that you’ve ever dreamed of disappearing when you wake up.”

“That’s not what I’m afraid of. What if something happened to me tonight, or worse, to you.” he had tears in his eyes.

“My love, as soon as we get enough money we will be out of here. We can live on a farm! Or a boat!” he chuckled and you continued “But, meanwhile, there is nothing to be afraid of, even when the night changes, it will never change me and you.”

He smiled and gave you a tender kiss on the lips. 

“Just a few more heists and we’ll be out of here.” he said, caressing your cheek.

“Just a few more.” you smiled at him, held his hand and leaned you head on his shoulder. Matthias kissed your temple and put his head on top of yours. The two of you looked out at Ketterdam, dreaming about your life away from the barrel. 

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