#[ can't go for walks in the woods during the times of the year when people let their dogs run off-leash ]

[despairforme]

Thoughts/feelings about Wesson the puppy?

❝ I ain't a fan 'a animals. ❞ That was his general approach to ALL animals. If he wasn't going to eat them, he didn't see the point of them. There were some animals, like horses and sheep, that he just seriously disliked. They gave him the creeps for some reason. Not liking pets was something that had developed while he was dating and living with Grimmjow, who had had two cats. Nnoitra had always been annoyed at how much love and attention they'd gotten. Attention that should've been his. So - what did he think about Wesson? Well, if he was going to pick an animal to tolerate, it would have to be dogs. He DID like how the puppy was always so enthusiastic about meeting him. Wagging its tail, yipping happily... Bouncing on his shoes. Nobody ever displayed such genuine happiness in seeing him. So yeah, he liked that. It gave him a good feeling. He also found it... Not fun, but alright, to play fetch with him. Seeing how far he was able to throw a ball was kinda fun.

Nnoitra had no idea WHY Wesson seemed to like him so much. Then again, that puppy was friendly towards everyone, right? So maybe it wasn't such a big deal. Nnoitra probably wasn't special. At the same time, dogs typically DIDN'T like him. They would often bark aggressively at him ( he assumed because they saw him as a threat ). Wesson was the exception. Oh, yeah, and Emil's dog, Bor, who didn't bark at him either. Overall? Nnoitra liked Wesson as much as he could like an animal.

[happysparklingshadows]

A Certain Hunger (5/?)

Chapter 4 ✿ Chapter 6

Summary: Just a random few days in the first Summer in the wilderness. (Y/n) explore her surroundings and the people around her in the wilderness to find some sense of control and agency. She is blossoming. Adult (Y/n) gets an unexpected visitor late at night and has deep thoughts about the right move going forward. She also needs to get ready for a romance novel convention, but she just can't catch a break from her pine-scented memories.

Pairing: Surviving!Poly! Yellowjackets x fem!reader (slow burn)

Warnings: Gore, Mentions of Starving, Mentions of weight, Mentions of Chronic Pain and Injury, the 90s setting with the views of the time, homophobia and internal homophobia, Coming out of the closet, Mentions of sex and voyeurism, Mentions of Cheating, Mentions of menstrual cycle, Stalking.

Word count: 16.7k

Notes: HAPPY NEW YEARS! Back in action with my monthly uploads, and I am so happy to have my first headcanon chapter that doesn't follow an episode of the show, I hope I can add about three in the first and second season that shows things more about the reader and her experience out in the wilderness when there was still a lot of hope. I even did a poll for the readers of this story to have a voice in the direction of this arc for the reader. If you have any questions or thoughts about this story, please let me know in my inbox, and if you have any requests, I would love to hear what you all think and want from the story. The three days that I focus on in this chapter are July 7-10,1996, during their time in the wilderness, and I plan on making a timeline written for anyone really into the story!

Day 1��

The hard ground under you was comfortable enough to sleep on, and maybe enough blankets and exhaustion made it the most comfortable place in the cabin. Your pillow's plush, fuzzy fabric snuggled against your cheek as you slept deeply. The pain in your neck rested just right as you folded your arm under your pillow. Your blanket was warm. 

A hollow growl rumbles in your stomach again as you rest. 

You have skipped another meal last night. Making it the third meal of the day you have skipped for the others.

The months have been getting to you.

You didn’t think you could avoid hunger, but you didn’t think your stomach would hurt this much. It felt hollow and sore, but you were mostly fine and had the same energy. You haven’t been getting as much fish as you did your first time fishing, but it was enough for almost everyone. You decided to go without for the past four days to help everyone ration out the food. Lately, you would catch about three fish daily, around 1 pound each for 16 people. It was spreading thin on the days when Natalie didn’t catch any animals, but you were content with it sometimes. 

You had two advantages over everyone else in the woods: you had wilderness survival, and you were overweight. It will take longer for you to suffer from starvation, and if you skip your meal, that just means everyone gets a little more.  You didn’t mind it, but everyone else seemed not to like it; not even the boys wanted you to go without unless you simply put your food on the table and walked outside if you thought the portions too small for everyone. You would just say you could handle it, and if you had a negative calorie intake, it wouldn’t be as harmful as it would be if Jackie or Larua Lee skipped. Sometimes Van, Shauna, Lottie, or even Travis, to your great surprise, skipped with you for everyone else to have more. It was those days when there was a whispering dread in your ear, making you think too far ahead for your liking. You didn’t like to think about the nights becoming colder and the food slowly disappearing, and only having food that you saved, which would be nothing as things were going.  

You worked your anxiety away as much as possible with the fishing and projects around the cabin, so you didn't think about it too much. You still hoped to be saved and didn’t want to think about the colder months unless you had to. 

A soft hand lands on your shoulder and gently pushes you back a few times until your eyes creep open, “Hey, get up.” Natalie’s soft voice comes to your ears as you slowly get up. 

“Wha- what's wrong?” You yawn as you sit up, your hands pushing the wooden floor. You wore your blue and pink striped lattice hem set your mom got you for your trip to Seattle. As you were sitting up, your shoulder peeked out of the top. Your clothes were slowly becoming bigger on you, and you couldn’t find it inside yourself to complain; you had wanted to be a couple of sizes smaller, but this wasn’t how you thought you would lose the extra weight. A thin layer of salty sweat lines your face and neck, feeling every small move with a sticky sensation tickling your flesh. The morning of July was as unforgiving as the day. You pray there will be rain today so you can get a break from the beating sun. 

“Nothing. I got some food,” Natalie said with a smile as she looked over your face. She was most worried about you not eating the last few days. 

“Really!?” You say as you quickly start to get off your makeshift bed from the floor. You try to pull yourself off the floor like you usually do, but your left arm gives out from under you, causing you to light thump back onto the floor, and a sharp stab stocks you through your stiff neck. 

“Are you okay?” Natalie asks, concerned, as she takes your hand, pulling you to stand with her. Her eyes are concerned and worried at your inability to lift yourself. Seeing the biggest girl in the group fall apart wasn't a pleasant feeling because she wasn’t getting enough calories. 

You chuckle as you place your hand on her shoulder as she helps you stand up. Your cheeks become hotter as she holds you up. When you are on solid ground, you softly push her off you and say, “Sorry. I was pretty tired yesterday. I don’t know why; I was just in the heat, I think.” 

“I could tell; you slept like a damn rock yesterday after I got back from hunting. You good?”

“Yeah,” you say with a little sigh of exhaustion, but you smile at her nonetheless. ”It must have been jet lag, " you joke as you run a hand through your hair. You find a greasy curl in your bangs that stood up the whole conversation with Natalie. You try to hide your cringe at the feeling of your own bad hygiene. After two weeks in the wilderness, most of the body smelled sensitivities left everyone after the deodorant ran out. 

“Looks like your prayers have been answered ‘cause I got us some rabbits.” Natalie chuckled as she rubbed the back of her neck and looked at you. 

You don’t notice how her eyes seem to study your movements, “The rabbit traps finally worked?” 

“Yep, we caught four rabbits this morning, but one was lost. Something got to it before we got up.”’ 

“A wolf?” 

“Maybe. But there was just a foot left behind.” Natalie shrugged her shoulders with an amused smile like she was going to laugh. 

“Did you keep it? It’s good luck. Maybe Lottie would have liked it.” You say with a little chuckle at Natalie’s face, and you just turn your head away. You felt your cheeks getting warm talking to her. Before the crash, Natalie was flirty with you, but now she seems more serious. She only talks about food and how people feel, but you always feel like she has a special interest in how you feel. Your stomach growled last night, and she gave you strong looks from the corner of the room.

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll be eatin’ good today.” Natalie jokes as she crosses her arms, leaning on the doorway to the kitchen, the second half of the first floor. She seems to be waiting for you to follow her to the hearth where Mari and Laura Lee are cooking the food, and the smells of meat cooking fill the whole cabin. It was making your stomach growl. 

“Good. I will eat until I am sick if I can." you say as you finally move to look for clothes for the hot day. Natalie's steel-blue eyes lock as you move to your bags on the opposite side of the small room. You thoughtlessly take off your pajama shirt and expose your bare torso. 

Now, after months in the wilderness, you have grown comfortable with your body being seen by others. It didn’t help that you all changed in the locker room together before the crash, but since there was nowhere you could go without peeking eyes, you have grown accustomed to just exposing yourself to change. Even if the boys were in the room, you didn’t even think about it even more because there are a lot of tits out here in these woods. Yours couldn’t be the only ones their eye see in the morning when everyone changes. 

It was a little different this time, and you felt Natalie’s eyes on you, tracing your back as you looked down at your pile of clothes in your luggage bag. You could hear Misty and Krystal quiet in their conversation as you move quickly to find a shirt; your chest softly jiggles for everyone in the room to see. You find a thin pink shirt and a Harley-Davidson shirt your dad gave you that you made into a crop top. You tell Natalie to break the loud silence, “Did you find the rest of the pop tabs?” 

“What?” 

“Wha-” You say as you throw a sports bra on yourself, “Pop tabs, Nat.” 

“Oh, yeah.” She says, quickly pushing her hand into her black jeans pocket and pulling out a couple of old pop tabs from the crash site. “These were the only ones I could find in good enough condition.” 

You throw the pink long sleeve over your head as you take the pop tabs in your hands and push them into your bag. “Thank you, Nat! I needed a few more to improve my net,” you say as you pull the crop top over your head. 

“What do you use pop tabs for again?” she asks with a chuckle. Her smile lingers on her lips, making you feel light in your stomach. 

“Hooks, " you crock out to her as you start straightening your hair as best you can with your fingers. “Just bend them back and forth at an angle, and they're makeshift hooks.” 

“Sick.” She says as she leans away from the doorway. She leans away for you to walk into the second living space. 

“Good morning!” “Morning!” “Hey, (y/n)!” was sent your way as you walked into the room. You smiled and waved back to everyone as you sat down at the table. Everyone had a pile of rabbit meat on their plates, but yours was slightly larger, with berries and the last of the fish jerky on your plate. 

“Guys!” you say as you look at your plate, worried everyone didn’t get enough food. But you are shut down by looks. 

“Stop it; it's yours,” Jackie says, smiling. She then leans her shoulder towards you playfully. 

“Yeah, please. We all thought it would be nice for you to have a big breakfast after skipping the last few nights,” Shauna says as she chews on some dark meat. 

“But, guys-” you try, but your stomach growls as you look at the freshly cooked meat.

“Just shut up and take your present,” Van says with a playful glare and shakes her head. Everyone laughs as you try again to make them take some of your portion. 

You eventually succumb to your urge to eat the meat. You sink your fork into the meat and shovel the dark meat into your mouth. 

You feel the strands of muscle on the rabbit leg you bit. You feel the juices of the fat in its body flush out of the strands as you chew on it more. You savor the gamey and wild flavor of the rabbit’s meat. You just moan as you keep eating everything on your plate. There was a click in the back of your throat as you ate. Your jaw healed weirdly after the crash, making you hear the tiny clicks as you swallow. 

You rub the back of your sweaty neck, and every step you take holds a tiny stab of discomfort at the base of your neck. It’s been two months and three weeks in the wilderness, and most of your wounds from the crash have healed beautifully. Your black eyes, busted lip, and burns healed within the first week, and the more significant wounds on your legs and neck seemed to take longer than expected. Misty said your leg took a little longer to heal than the other wounds, but it was because it was on the lower part of your body, and you believed her. But your neck has yet to feel the same. You know you should have had a brace on it, but you couldn’t find anything to make one without leaving someone without. You hoped that you would be saved before it became a problem. Luckily, it doesn’t hurt so bad anymore, but it felt like you constantly slept wrong on your head, having a stiff neck for the rest of the day. You have been messaging your neck as much as you could as you felt it becomes sharply painful, but you have made it a habit in the week of walking in these woods for hours. 

In another circumstance, these walks in the woods to the lake would have been therapeutic. The sun's rays peek through the branches and kiss the ground with light. The greenery completely consumes the environment, and with such natural beauty, sometimes you stand still, looking up at the tall trees. As you walk down the trail, you look up at the tall branches of the trees. At this point, it becomes almost muscle memory for you as you slowly approach the beach. 

You decided after breakfast to take a bath and clean the grease out of your hair and the thin film of sweat on your skin. You felt uncomfortable in your skin on a hot day out in the Canadian sun, and knowing your day would be spent sitting under the sun fishing, you felt like it was just time to wash and use some of your soap rations and lotion. You hold your toiletries bag, a new pair of underwear, and a towel in your hands as you stand on the end of the grass to the beginnings of the sand, but you stand in place as you look down the lake. 

There standing alone was Lottie in her nightgown, looking absentmindedly out to the sky, almost like she was trying to piece something together being written in the blue. 

You notice her absence at breakfast, and the last few breakfasts, she has been gone, and you always find her at the water, just staring out into space. It worried you, but you knew there was nothing you could do for the time being. The only thing you could do is be there for your friend. You didn’t need her to tell you to notice that there was a mental health issue underlining Lottie’s behaviors lately, even though she is mostly normal throughout the day. Sometimes, you would have a conversation with her so that she could only forget what she was talking about or completely state vague and ominous things without being able to explain herself. 

You softly place your towel on the big rock and untie your shoes. Then, you sit down as the soft waves brush against the hot sand, watching the brunette standing in the water. You stand up from the rock, taking your belt off, then your shorts, until you are in just your underwear. You unclasp your bra from under your shirt, slip the straps through your sleeves, and place your bra onto your towel next to your new pair of underwear. 

You walk toward the water, softly stepping into the cold, blue water. Water splashes caress your leg, hugging your body with fresh frost. As you walked deeper into the water, it was a painful pleasure to reach the unresponsive Lottie. 

When the water was at your thighs, you called out to Lottie, who was only a few more feet away from you, “Hey! Good morning, Lottie!” 

You decided the best thing you could do was be there for Lottie and ensure she was on the right track. You also had to comfort her and help everyone stay in the best conditions possible until you were found. 

She was deeply lost in her daze, but she seemed to slowly come back to reality with slow blinks when she heard your voice. She blurted out, “Huh?” and paused to rub her eyes with her fingers. “Um, right. Good morning, (y/n).” 

 You chuckle, playing down what you were watching, letting her get herself in order, “Hey, I saw you weren’t at breakfast when I woke up.”

“Have you eaten?” Lottie says in a deep, raspy tone as if she is sleeping but looking at you seriously. Hearing her talk to you like that was a little eerie, but it shows her concern about skipping meals. 

“Yeah, Nat found a lot of rabbits, and they basically gave me one whole one with berries. It was surprisingly delicious.” 

Lottie nodded, but her eyes looked miles away from her. She looked down at your body as you came beside her in the lake. She says as she doesn’t look connected to her body yet from wherever her mind is, “What’s the bag?” she asks as she stands still. 

“Soap and stuff, I wanted to take a bath, but I saw you out here and came to you. Can I ask you a favor?” 

Lottie's attention was now drawn to the bag in your hand and your thick thighs. "Yeah, Of course."

She didn’t move for a moment but blinked a few times, a clearer and more present look returning to her face. Lottie turned her body to face you fully. "What do you need?"

“Can you hold my things? I'll take my bath real quick, and you can take one, too, if you want.” 

Lottie blinks at you and nods, her hands out to hold the bag. You smile as you slowly place the bag in her hands. You say, “Is it okay if you hold my shirt too? I know you have seen my tits enough times, but I want to ask before I take it out,”  you chuckle as you look at her shocked face. 

Lottie laughed quietly, her cheeks darkening with a grin spreading on her cheeks, and nodded. "I'm sure I can survive the traumatic experience of having to see your naked tits for another few minutes."

You rolled your eyes as you scoffed, “Whatever.” You quickly take off your shirt and put it on Lottie’s shoulder to keep it from becoming wet. Lottie then glanced around to make sure no one else was there. 'We're alone here, right?"

“I’m sure, and if we weren’t, they wouldn't be seeing anything new.” 

Lottie chuckled as she turned her head back to you, her brown eyes scanning your face as she opened your bag. You move in with your naked body to grab the shampoo, start to dunk your head under the water, and stand back up to rinse the foaming soap. 

 You splash water on your head as you close your eyes and place the soap on the crown of your head. You move the bottle towards Lottie’s direction, then quickly wash your hair with both hands. 

Almost instinctively, you peek your eyes open. You see Lottie looking at your chest and down your torso. She doesn’t even notice your eyes, watching you gaze at her. You close them again and say to her, with a little laugh on your lips, “Wanna take a picture?” 

“Maybe, so I have it for later,” Lottie muttered. She took another longing look as you rinsed the grease from your hair. She said louder before you asked her to repeat herself, “I don’t have a camera.” 

“Guess you just have to use your memory, Matthews.” You laugh as you lean over again. After you rinsed your hair off the shampoo, you also decided to use some conditioner. 

“Don’t make me out as some kind of pervert or something, (y/n)!” Lottie says back with a laugh, and she is now looking at your face as you scrub the smooth soap through your ends. 

“I’m not, but I don’t know, you might be liking my tits.” 

“What can I say? You’re my girl crush.” Lottie says, looking harder at your form as your eyes closed. She quoted Cosmopolitan about movie stars and singers, but Lottie has been thinking she is forming some kind of crush on you since you both shared that kiss late at night. Lottie doesn’t know what to think, but she knows she feels safe with you, and Lottie knows that she is pleasantly surprised with how beautiful you truly are. “I also have a girl crush on Sandra Bullock.” 

You giggled as you rinse out the conditioner from the ends of your hair, “What the fuck?” You laugh as your cheeks grow in heat as she talks at you like this. You are happy she is out of her episode, but you didn’t realize that your tits were so distracting for her. 

Lottie laughs and says, “I don’t know, I am just talking.” 

From across the lake, in the thick brush, she watches with rasped and raggedy breath as she sees (y/n) in the water with Lottie. Jealousy runs through their veins like a heroine, making them hot off this intense hatred for Lottie and even (y/n). “Why is she always with other people? Why does she just show her body off like that? Doesn’t she know how beautiful she is? Doesn’t she know I would kill someone to touch her soft skin just once?” thoughts race through the teen girl's head. She wanted to touch herself at the image of (y/n) so beautiful and vulnerable in the water. If (y/n) was alone, they could have stood in the water bathing with her and watching the soap run down her body up close. It’s all they have ever wanted; it’s what they have thought about for years. They felt themselves retreating to the woods after the sounds of the girls' shared laughter got to their ears. It felt like knives were stabbing into their skin or like bugs digging into their flesh. Their hands formed into hard fists as they stormed away from the shoreline. They couldn’t take much more of this. 

After your bath, you and Lottie separated for the rest of the day. You went to your new fishing spot with your makeshift fishing net, and Lottie returned to the cabin to do laundry. She stopped by with a basket on her hip alongside Laura Lee and Van. They asked if you needed help bringing the two medium-sized grey fish, but you declined. You work hard to weave fishing lines and waterlogged weeds into a sturdy fishing net with two thick branches to anchor the netting. You would bend pop tabs at an angle until they broke, making a hook to braid into the net. You were almost halfway done with this project, but you needed to constantly work on the net to finish it before midseason when fish became less active. 

When you leaned into your braiding, the small remaining hole on the tab got stuck on the fishing line in a specific braid. You let your fishing pole sit lazily next to you. You put a small frog as your bait this time, but there wasn’t even the smallest bite for the last hour. 

Suddenly, as you are weaving the netting, your fishing pole lunges forward, almost getting thrust into the lake water. You quickly drop the net and rush over to your old, rusty fishing pole, and before there is another thrust forward, you grab hold of it. 

A mighty thrust forward caused you to step into the water, and you panicked with the pole. You quickly tried to reel in the line, but it didn’t move; instead, it moved you. 

You looked down at the water with wide eyes. As you saw the clear fishing line thrash about quickly, you stepped back and decided that the best course of action was to pull it to the surface. 

You slip on the mud, and your back leans on a tree as you struggle to pull in the heavy creature at the other end. You panic as you start to feel yourself being pulled forward again into the water by a strong force. You pull the pole with you, both hands on the reel and rod, and rush back to where you sat for hours. Surprisingly, the creature at the other end seemed spooked by you; pulling it forward, the turtle stilled, and as you rushed back to your spot from before, the green ball came to the mud with a low hiss coming into the air. 

You look behind you to see an ugly, large, snapping turtle staring you down. The fishing line is in the turtle's beak, most likely in its stomach, as it ate the frog. 

You were amazed, but you were also scared. You didn’t know what to do, so you stared at him. A few feet away, he stood, afraid, hissing at you. He was at least 25 lbs without his rocky shell. 

SNAP! SNAP! 

Before you could pull him in more, he lunged at you with two great snaps of his jaw, missing you each time but getting closer to you with each bite. He stands a foot away from you with his mouth open to whine a hiss. 

You couldn’t think but quickly backed up again and looked for your knife. You grab it quickly before the turtle can react. You pull him in with all the strength in your arm. He hissed as his body lifted from the ground, and he hung from the line in pain from the hook in his throat. You try to stab the turtle’s neck to kill him, but he reacts quickly.

SNAP! 

You moved quickly out of the way and luckily didn’t lose your finger. You rejected not letting the others help you because now you were dealing with more than before. You didn’t want to let the turtle go, but you didn’t have the strength to keep him in the air like that. You tried again, and he snapped at you. You then decided to put the fishing line on a lower branch of the tree next to you.

You take a trig growing from the broken branch to distract the panicking snapping turtle. You annoy the turtle with a twig to the face, and the turtle snaps onto the twig like it’s nothing, but as he is distracted with the twig, you stab the turtle in the back of its head. The blade pops through its head through the turtle's left eye, popping the small ball out of the socket and making you cringe. You pull the blade from the turtle's head and pull the massive beast from the tree. 

You gave up on the rest of the day after killing the turtle. It was a very taxing experience fighting with an adult snapping turtle, and you pack up for the day. You put your little tabs in the fishing box, and your net inside the box handle to walk home. You put the two gray fishes on the stomach of the snapping turtle as you held onto its shell. Walking home with the big guy was laborious, but it was worth it. You knew how much food he would be if you brought him back, so you kept walking with the turtle, weighing you down. 

When you got to the cabin, everyone circled Natalie, who held a small beaver in her hands. They cheered when you came to view and seemed beyond excited that both of you caught huge catches you had for them all. There was enough food for everyone for the next couple of days, and it could be spread out for 5 days.

Everyone decided to jerk the beaver and fish to keep them longer and to eat the turtle because Mari could make so much soup from it.  

Jackie looked at the slimy moss-green turtle with a curled lip and narrow eyes, “I’m not eating that.” 

“What?” Mari says and steps into your space to look at the turtle. Mari picks up the turtle from its shell with both hands and huffs at the weight as if she knew how to handle the beast. “My mom makes killer turtle soup. We can cook it with its shell. We just have to scrub him up, and we have a whole soup!” Mari smiles as she struggles with now Misty to bring the dead turtle to the porch. 

You held the two small grey fish by their tailfins and added to Mari, “Don’t we have some carrots and spring onions?”

Jackie gave you a sideways glance at the mention of the bendy forest purple carrots you all found by the plane. The carrots naturally grew on the vine marshy ground the plane lay on. They were a fantastic find. The problem was preserving them long enough to eat throughout the days because they were root vegetables. They were bendable and weak but still were edible. “This sounds so gross.” 

“You’re such a stick in the mud, Jackie. Just think it’s rabbit.” Mari says as she starts to wipe the turtle from its blood with a rag. 

“Dude, look at it! It looks like a slug!”

“Dude!” Shauna says to Jackie, nudging her shoulder to make her stop talking badly about their dinner. 

“I would rather have the beaver!” Jackie yelled with defensiveness, her eyes big and wide and serious. 

A snicker from Van started it, making you laugh out loud and making everyone giggle at the joke Jackie unintentionally made. 

“Beaver.” Van says, and it makes everyone laugh harder. Jackie rolls her eyes with a loud ugh. She stomps off to the back of the cabin to get away from the laughing and her unintentional pussy joke.

Late that night, after everyone had eaten the turtle soup, you sat outside on the porch, writing about your day with your journal in your lap. You had picked up the habit from Shauna, and you both decided to write about your experience out in the woods so that if you were found, people would know what happened in your time stranded. You have been becoming lazy with your journal lately because there has been nothing new to write about. You have been fishing, talking with your friends, and worrying about your mom. 

A strong breeze sent a chill down your legs, making you cringe at the cold night. You closed your journal, placed your ballpoint pen in the center, and decided to pack it up for the night. You stood up off the porch steps, but as you stood, you felt a deep pressure in your pelvis, making you want to pee. 

You turned yourself around to go to the woods, the pooping corner, as Mellissa coined it. You felt the tall grass brush against your calves, crickets and salamanders sing in the twilight of the Canadian mountainside; you felt the crisp, clean air reach your nostrils and travel down your throat. You traveled down the small trail you and all the others made from traffic, but you felt a drop in your chest as you approached the bushes. 

Snap!

You turn your head to your right, through the thick brush of trees toward the abandoned plane, to the sound of something snapping a branch. You see the small figure in the brush coming towards you, her hands holding the tree for whatever reason. Her eyes glued on you, her mouth slightly open, she looks shocked at the snapping branch. 

“Misty! Holy moly!” You yelp as you jump back on instinct. Misty always had a way to catch you off guard. “What the hell are you doing over there?” 

“Uh, Peeing?” 

You laugh out loud as you pant. For whatever reason, you feel your heartbeat in your chest. Misty’s unsettling personality isn’t one to be around at night. It is uncomfortable, but it is bearable if you speak right. You put your hand on your chest as you laugh again to distract from her creepiness and act like you are not uncomfortable in her presence. 

“Oh, of course! Sorry, Misty! Doing the same!”

She steps forward out of the brush and keeps her eyes on you. “I could come with you to keep watch, you know, um,  just to make sure you're safe,” she says.

A stiff breeze hit the back of your legs, but it wasn’t as chilling as the feeling of Misty’s eyes staring into yours. Something simmered under the surface—it was always there, but in this moment, it felt dangerous. You felt a desperate need to let her near you, to be friendly with her, but she didn’t know how to mask the sinister undertone in her words. 

You hated the fact you felt pity. You felt bad. You didn’t want to make Misty feel like a freak like everyone else. You remember how crushed she was when Randy called her a dyke at homecoming years back, and you remember the rumors of her having anal and giving boys footjobs even though everyone knew she didn’t. You know how everyone treats her like an outcast in the wilderness. It wasn’t fair to be permanently outcasted because you were offputting but overly kind, you thought. 

“Yeah, sure. Can you hold my journal?” You say to her as you stand in place, waiting for her to be beside you. “Hey, I have a question to ask you, actually?.” you add as you move to be behind a bush. 

Misty looks into your eyes softly, her hands tightly holding the leather bond book. She smiles tightly and says, “Yeah?” 

“What are those birds out on the water, do you know?” you ask as you unbutton your pants, move to a squat and pee. Your eyes lock onto Misty as you continue, “The one that makes those loud dove noises. I know those aren’t crows because they are like ducks sitting on the water and don’t sound like crows. They are so loud and scary early in the morning.” 

Misty smiles, her eyes perking up with light, her face almost red with excitement as she proclaims, “Those are Common Loons. The black ones with red eyes.” She says with a smile growing on her lips, like she is smiling under the mask she wears, “Fun fact! They use Loon calls as Mourning Dove calls in movies because Loon’s are a lot more crisp sounding.” 

You smile at her softly as you study her face. “That’s crazy... I thought it was some kind of duck or something.” You chuckle as you watch her face. You look to the forest floor for some leaves to wipe with, and Misty continues talking about different birds. You feel a shiver down your spine at how normal Misty is. 

After you were done, you walked with her, took your journal back from Misty, and kept talking about her special interest in birds. She told you she has a pet named Neapolitan, Yellow Canary, back home who always sings for her when she enters her room. As she was talking, you watched closely at her eyes and lips. 

Her eyes are bright and wide, and her lips turn upward as she speaks. But it was as if something inside wasn’t connecting with her eyes. 

There was no sadness or grief at being here and not with Neapolitan. There was just contentment in her face. 

Misty is acting the same way she did before the crash. She seemed fine, happier talking about the loon out on the lake more than her pet in her room. It wasn’t right. It made no sense. It scared you. 

The energy coming off misty just made you want to run away. You don’t understand why Misty is giving you the creeps in the back of the cabin, but you don’t feel well hearing her speak. Hearing her become so content with being here and talking about home like it didn’t tear her apart made you feel sick. You couldn’t understand how she wasn’t sobbing, talking about home or a pet, and just talking to you like this was her best conversation in years. 

Misty was at the porch with you as you started to step up the stairs to the cabin’s front door; she listed, “There is also the brewer sparrow, burrowing owl, bald eagles, American dipper, the brown-headed cowbird-”

“Misty?” 

“Yeah?” She asked with her head whipping back to you, her blonde curls bouncing around her head with the movement. 

“I need to ask you a serious question, and it needs to stay between us, okay?” 

Her eyes widened for a second as she approached you with a deadly serious expression, taking the face you needed her opinion on sincerely. “Anything, what is it?”

You sigh and look away from her at the beautiful starry sky above you. “Do you think we're going to be found? I just—” You sigh as you look at the north star off the side of the Waxing gibbous.

“I don’t know.” Misty immediately answers before thinking about it, but she says, “Maybe the plane had its last location sent to the power tower, and people are searching high and low for you guys.” 

“What do you mean “you guys”? Your family are looking for you like all our families are.” 

“I don’t think they are, " Misty said as if it were a fact. At this moment, her eyes were empty of emotion, and her face looked too relaxed to be natural. 

“Don’t say that.” 

“Well, don’t ask if we’re going to be found as if you've given up hope, (y/n),” Misty says with a serious voice as she steps closer to you, with her face almost in yours, “You are the one everyone is looking up to for what to do out here, you're the one holding all of this together, and you can’t start asking those things now. You’re our only hope of staying alive long enough for search teams to find us, and you're doing amazing. You can’t lose hope now.” 

She spoke to you like she was pushing you on a pedestal, building your confidence with a fierce glare to push you back in place. It was so unsettling. It was just wrong; it felt wrong, like she was toying with you for losing hope, which was so odd. Why do that? 

Just like the day you left the locker room after their last game before the whole plane ride, she hid in the hallway just to stare at you. 

“Okay, " you say to her as you fight the urge to step back, trying not to hurt Misty’s feelings. I’ll try. Sorry. I haven’t given up hope; I have just been getting wary lately.” 

“It’s okay, (y/n), just make sure you don’t tell anyone else what you just told me because that might scare them.” Misty says again with her smile creeping up slowly, predatorily, like a wolf lifting its lip to lick their chops. 

You blink slowly, feeling unnerved by the words but seeing why she was saying them. “I mean, I am just being realistic. I’m not trying to be a stick in the mud.”

“I know that.” Misty quickly animates her face and body, her hands to her chest to prove her innocence, with her eyes looking big up at yours. “We’re friends that understand each other, but the others don’t understand that. They will judge you and never take you seriously again.” 

You look at her momentarily to understand what she is saying and feel the sinister undertone in her words. You know you should play it dumb and safe, though, as you smile at her and say, “Yeah, okay, you're right. Sorry for talking crazy.” 

“No problem, bestie!” Misty beamed with a tight grin. Her eyes looked cold as she tried to make her smile warmly. 

‘21

You had a wonderful last few days. When Misty dropped you off at your house, you quickly wrote the ending for your smutty novel. It was a perfect ending where the two women stay together and have hot sex, the perfect ending for a complicated romance story. It made you so happy to turn in the novel finally to your publisher, which after review, they fucking loved as well. It was sent to the editors, and the book's production will start by the end of next month. You couldn’t help but feel so accomplished that you even took your father out on a nice dinner to celebrate, and you have been on a happy high since. 

Tonight, you have been sent over the editor's notes to fix the holes in the story. You went to get yourself a coffee and dinner and came home to see your cat sitting on your laptop keyboard. 

You then took the next couple hours devoting yourself to critically combing through your story, your handwritten notes beside you, and your reading glasses sitting on the bridge of your nose. The chapters have been read over four times with edits each time to be approved in your eyes to move to the next. You remember when your first published book came out. It was a lesbian Vampire book trilogy about a feminine Noblewoman meeting a street fighting masc, which just so happened to come out at the same time the movie Twilight came out.  The success of the movie made your book blow up in popularity among queer groups, in conservative groups from outrage, and from everyday literature lovers. You remember how stressed you were when you were writing the series and how many demands were placed on you to push out the next book and the next, and then you didn’t hear from your publisher for a year until they demanded a new book. You then wrote a fantasy book romance that had a fairy falling in love with a goblin, another successful series. Now, on your third romance trilogy, you have grown bored of your fantasy creatures and celebrate concepts. Tension grows in your shoulders in your computer chair, and you lean back, taking your glasses off in exhaustion. 

Rubbing your eyes and leaning back in your chair, you naturally pulled back. The wheel glided on the carpet under your resting foot, and your eyes landed on the open closet. 

Your chest grew hot, and your breath became deep. Staring at your closet door, with your hands on your head, you slowly rose from the chair. 

“You don’t need to read them again.“ The voice begs in the back of your head.

In a semi-self-inflected trance, you step into the closet and find a mess of clothes and long-forgotten items: skates from the 1980s, notebooks from NYU, and an old steel safe.

“Stop it. You don’t need to read them again.” It says again.

Your painted fingers type in the code, your mother's birthday, and quickly open the safe. When you open the safe, a wave of smell barrels towards your nose, smelling like old paper, dirt, dust, and small hints of Pine. 

You start at the worn black leather of the bound journal, which has water and sun damage staining on the exterior. The once-white pages have yellowed over the years, and the quality feels like it will fall apart in your hands before too long. 

You gradually breathe as you lean against your closet wall and slide down, looking at the 25-year-old journal. 

“(Y/n), it’s not going to change.” The voice pleads as you turn the page to a random page of the first book you found. 

7/7/96 Today was productive and amazing!  I caught a snapping turtle about 30ish ibs, and we made a yummy soup of it. It's the best thing I've had out here so far because I feel myself salivating about it. I can't wait to have a bowl tomorrow for breakfast. When Travis took a bite of the soup, he got the eyeball of the turtle, and he gagged. Mari said it was good luck and should eat it, but he kept gagging. He is so pathetic!! Natalie caught a beaver today, and we decided to make it jerky. Jackie didn’t want to eat the turtle, so she said to everyone with a straight face, “I want the beaver!” Needless to say, it made us all laugh until we peed! I am feeling happy today and hopeful. I feel better about being here, but it doesn’t make me feel completely at ease at the thought of being okay. I hope they haven’t given up looking for us, and I know everyone’s family wouldn’t stop looking for us.  7/8/96  I caught two fish, one of which was a salmon (score!!) Natalie and I started making a map by walking around the area and building it together. I had a bowl of turtle broth for breakfast and some fish jerky. a lot of progress with my fishing net. I am about ¾ completed, but I need more stable vining. I feel somewhat like I am PMSing, and I am so not ready to be on my period just yet again out here. I wish I had a pad or tampon out here. All we have is homemade ones out of shirts and stuffing made from cattails fluff. I am about to start because I am much more sad than yesterday.  I miss my mom so much I can’t even help but cry when I think of her face

You violently start to sob and cover your face with your hand after reading the tragic line from your old journal. The journal that you and Shauna started there. It’s been 25 years since you wrote that sentence in the journal, but the statement is never more accurate than it is right now. You felt like you were 18 again. You were a child missing their mother and just want to talk to them about it. About everything, but you couldn’t. There was no way for you to talk to your mother again. Nothing has changed from then to where you are now. 

It was physical proof of your broken mind and heart. The words don’t even sound like you anymore. It was so young and naive, hopeful to no end. But when you see lines like that, you break down like a baby. Maybe it was for all the times you didn’t cry when you should have been out there. 

You felt as you looked at the young woman’s words a feeling of grief that just harassed you in place when you so much as looked at a page. It didn’t matter if it was a sad or mundane page. It always made you break down. You don’t understand why you still have urges to read over your old dairy, but you did almost every week for your whole adult life. Maybe it was a reminder of the dead young girl you used to be or just clinging onto the moments in the wilderness that made you feel whole. It made you feel like you knew everything, your purpose, and the meaning of life, but as time marched forward, you didn’t feel any more in place than you did then.

It wasn’t fair. 

You were just a girl. 

You all were just children. 

You may not have died, but a part of your soul did. Some of you just couldn’t escape those pine trees and butterfly weeds. It’s been a whole lifetime away, but you still haunt yourself. 

It hurt because the words were just as true then as they are now. 

You missed your mom. 

You missed yourself. 

Knock! Bang! Knock! Bang! 

You pause in panic and hold the journal to your chest in fright. You don’t understand. Is it real? It’s dead of night outside, and you live in the middle of nowhere. 

Knock! Bang! Knock! Bang! 

“Hello! (Y/n)! Open up, please!” A familiar feminine voice yells from outside your house. It comes from your backdoor. The glass French doors rattled from the knock from the other, making a vibration ring out into the house and your shaking heart. Your anxiety spikes as you slam your journal shut, and you throw it into the safe, shutting the safe door with a sharp click. You race downstairs and go toward the doors with your heart beating violently against your chest. You don’t know why, but you knew you had to open the door for some reason without a fight. 

You rush to your door in a panic, worried it is one of the team members in trouble and immediately needs you, and quickly unlock the back door. You felt foolish and like you were putting yourself in danger by opening the door when it was dark outside, but the knocking wouldn’t let up.

You rip open the door to come face to face with the big blue eyes of your goddaughter. 

“Callie!?”

“Before you say anything, I need to-“

“Oh my god! Are you alright?” You gasp at her and grab her arms, looking over her small teenage body for any wounds or signs of her being harmed. How did she get here? She doesn’t have her license yet. She lives 3 miles away. She is in her bedclothes and has no coat or a bra.

“What? No, I’m fine.” She says to you in a snapping tone, tired from her journey to your home. She came from the wooded separation between the neighborhoods. You stand in shock, your mouth wide open as you stare at Callie. 

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE SO LATE!?” you raged as you grabbed ahold of her arm. You look outside to see if her boyfriend is there in his car. He wasn’t. You pull her into your warm home. “What the hell are you thinking!? It’s 1:20 in the morning!” 

“Jesus Christ, Let me explain, chill!”

“Chill!? Are you serious? Does your mom know you're here?” 

“Like she cares! She thinks I am at Cyanne's house, and I came home, but no one was home.” 

“Callie, of course, she cares about you. She cares a whole shit ton about you.” 

“Sure, she does.” She rolls her eyes softly, looking to the floor to examine her shoes. She is ashamed and defensive and feels foolish for coming here. You can read it all over her face. You take a deep breath. You need to calm down and make her understand.

“Callie, I am freaking out because I love you. Why did you walk to my house in the middle of the night with no coat? Do you know how dangerous that was?” You continued with a stern voice, your hand on her arm again to make her look at you.

She rolls her eyes again, annoyed, “I was okay, alright! I am fine! I was cold, and my feet hurt, that’s it!” 

“You could have run into a dangerous person, you could have gotten lost in the woods-“ 

“I didn’t, OKAY!” 

“Why are you here?” You ask again with her stern tone, your hand holding her tighter to make her look at you.

“My parents are cheating on each other.” She blurted out as she kicked off her shoes. She moves her arm out of your hold to sit on the couch beside your backdoor. You let her push off your hold of her at the words; you feel a sense of guilt come over you again as you lean against the wall. 

Day 2 

The humidity of the July morning breeze made your skin feel sticky as you carried some logs toward the chopping block for the firewood you all would need for the day. You woke up early today, restless as always, and stuff in the neck as you were the day before, and you look down at your tied shoes. Noticing the now caked-on dirt, mud, and leaves that have stained the fabric of your shoes it made you sad to see how dirty they got within only a few months out here.

You lift your head, and to your shock, you stand still in what is in front of you. As you approached the back of the cabin through the woods, you noticed two girls giggling against a tree. You see pale hands holding the tree as they lean into the other girl, their other hand on the other girl's stomach. You almost immediately know it was Taissa and Van making out against a tree. Soft moans from Taissa came out as she arched her back against the tree. You notice Van’s other pale hand down Taissa’s shorts. 

You were in shock as you watched them. You felt dirty for walking in on their intimate moment and pervert for feeling your body tingle at them touching each other. Jealously ran hot in your veins, but embarrassment possessed you stronger. You realize you are watching like a peeping Tom and try to turn away from them.

Snap!

You cringe at the snapping of a branch under your foot. The two girls turn to your snapping branch to find you standing awkwardly behind them with wood logs in your hands. 

“(Y/n)!” “Please, stop-” 

“Guys, it’s, please don’t panic-” You try to calm the two down as they storm towards you. Van’s face was painted red, eyes dressed in worry as Taissa’s face was panicked. 

“(y/n), You can’t tell anyone about this! I’m so sorry you walked in on this, but don’t think that we are lesbians or anything we- we just-” Taissa rambles as she grabs your arm to keep you there. They’re scrambling to find any explanation or excuse to explain the two of them making out against the tree even though there was no way to play down what they did. They still tried, and you just shook your head. 

“Please, it’s okay, I promise-” 

“You can’t tell anyone about this, (y/n)! They can’t find out about us; please don’t.” Taissa panicked again, tears in her eyes. The sight made you pause, and your heart hurt. Seeing how hard they tried to hide their love made you want to cry. 

“Please, (y/n), don’t tell anyone,” Van added with deeply concerned eyes. She kept her hands to her waist, hugging herself, and tried to hide the proof of Taissa on her hands. 

You look at the two with wide eyes as you realize you must calm them down. “I won’t tell anyone about this! I didn’t mean to walk in on you two-’

Taissa completely broke down as you spoke. Her face turned painfully in sadness as she started to cry. Her cheek was red with a lack of breath, and her eyebrows furrowed together tight. She was stressing out and about to have a panic attack. 

You drop your wood logs on the forest floor, approach Taissa, and hug her. She tried to push you off at the first attempt, but at your second, she came into your arms with deep sobs coming from her stomach. 

She wasn’t just crying about you finding out she was gay. 

Your eyes scan towards Van, who bites the cuticle on her finger as she watches anxiously. It seemed to be a death sentence for the two to be found out. You say without hesitation, “I’m not saying a word. You have my word. I would rather die.” 

Van blurts, “(Y/n), it’s okay, but you're not okay with this. We don’t know what to say-” 

“Please, " you say again as you rub Taissa’s back. She is still sobbing quietly in your neck. With tears in your eyes, you say, “I understand. I get it more than you understand.” 

There was a pause in the air after you spoke. Even Taissa calmed her breathing and her cries. 

Van’s eyebrow quirked in confusion, and Taissa, hidden in your neck, seemed to be doing the same. 

You felt brave in this moment with the two completely a mess in their shame and worry. 

“I have known about you two for a while. I didn’t say anything because I was envious of you two. You found each other, and you had each other.” You pause as you try to find the right words. Taissa pulls away to look at you. I never found anyone to be with like you two.” 

“What are you saying?” Van asks, her eyebrow higher on her forehead as she slowly figures out what you are saying. Taissa quietly connects the dots as she listens to you speak. 

You tear up more as you would say it out loud for the first time. You felt emotional. 

“I like girls, Van. I’m gay. I’ve never tried to be with a guy or anything, but I am sure I won’t be getting with anyone who isn’t a woman.” 

They both pause as the moment comes over the three of you. A eureka moment was almost in the air as you looked down at your feet. 

“I’ve known about you two since Randy’s party before leaving for Seattle.” You said as you looked at your feet. “I saw it in the way you two looked at each other. I just knew. I don’t know if anyone who isn’t gay would know, but I knew.” 

You look back up to the two silenced girls and add, feeling yourself vomiting your emotions to the two only people who would understand, “I didn’t say anything because I was happy you two found each other. I was jealous because I didn’t have anyone, but I wouldn’t do that to you. I know how much it would kill me if someone told people before I was ready. I mean, I haven’t even dated a guy before or had sex with one to completely know if I am, but I just never had the urge to be with a guy, so I don’t think I am wrong…”

“(y/n), Why didn’t you tell us?” Taissa asks. She steps closer towards you with a hand holding yours kindly. It touches your heart. 

You choke up as a tear comes to your eye. Van comes towards you, too, with a soft smile. “I don’t know. I didn’t even want to mention it. I don’t want you to think I wanted to do something wrong or that I wanted to break you two up-” 

“Oh, no, no, (y/n), you big dummy.” Van chuckles as she comes to hug you and rubs your back. “We would never think you would do that!”

Taissa agrees instantly. She says, “We didn’t even think you would tell anyone; we were just panicked!” 

‘I know, I get it! So, please believe me when I say the secret is safe with me! I am happy you two are together, and I don’t want to push you before you are ready to say anything. It's none of my business to tell.’ 

“Thank you,” Taissa says again, deeply touched by your words. As you finish speaking, she quickly pulls you into a hug. Van quickly follows suit. She holds a soft smile the whole time. 

You softly cried and said in Taissa’s chest, “You two are the first I’ve ever told. Not even Shauna and Jackie know.” 

It always felt so shameful that you never told your closest friends your true proclivities, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to look them in the eyes and say you liked girls and not guys. Not after years of lying and saying you wanted to fuck random guys you decided you had a crush on, you felt like if you let the truth out to Jackie and Shauna, it would hurt whatever dynamic you had left after your distance because of your mom’s health. You skipped out on so many hangouts, sleepovers, club meetings, and even birthdays with your sandbox best friends, and it has been slowly killing you. They still reached out and acted like nothing changed, but you all know things have shifted to Jackie and Shauna being the best friends, and you are now the tagalong old friend. But since being out in the wilderness, you have been closer to them than ever. Every day the three of you steal away time to talk shit and just be girls for a few hours by the river while you fish. It was slowly feeling like it did back in freshmen year of high school when you three were a true trio, but the growing weight of your mental health and shame for not telling them so many things, being gay being one of them. 

Van rubs a hand on your back as she pushes a hair behind your ear. “I am very happy to be the first to hear it. Thank you for telling me that. I told my big sister, " she confesses. She smiles softly at you, a sadness in her eyes. “She wasn’t super happy about it, but after a while, she acted the same as she always had.”

Taissa nods her head and says with a chuckle, “You are the first I’ve had to tell I was gay without dating them.” 

You chuckle softly back as you pull away from the hug. You say as you look at the two again, “Please, believe me when I say it’s all going to be okay. Just be more careful with people being around.”

After this morning, the day went smoothly. Van went to chop wood, Taissa started cleaning laundry in the lake shortly after your deep confessions, and you went out to fish like always. 

Today was a lucky day in the spring season because you caught a small gray fish and a Salmon. You caught a stray salmon on its way to lay eggs for the season, and it was completely healthy. As you raised the fish from the water, it snapped its tail. 

You returned to camp with your wins, only to find Natalie returning with two more brown rabbits, dragging the small animal back to camp. 

“Hey, pretty lady, what are you doing over there?” she calls as she approaches you on the trail. She seems in good spirits today, walking with a skip in her step, the rifle comfortably hanging from her shoulder. 

“Got a fish, what about you, baby?” You say back with a chuckle at the end, trying to flirt back with her playfully. 

She chuckles with you, a big smile, as she lifts the rabbits in her hand. " I got some dinner.” 

You chuckle again without realizing you feel like a stupid schoolgirl not even listening to Natalie’s words, and you beam to her, “You did well with those traps!” 

Natalie blushes as she chuckles; her hand scratches the back of her neck, and her eyes shy down to the ground. “Yeah, well, you helped me set them up.” 

“It was nothing because you were doing almost all of it.” You giggle offhandedly, and you walk together to the cabin. You then snap your fingers that you remembered a thought you had. “I have an idea to run by you!” 

“What’s up?” 

“I was thinking that maybe we could start making a map of some sort to find a way out because we both go into the woods often.” 

Natalie nodded slowly as she processed what you said, “like how?”

“Like we can draw the cabin as the center and then draw everything around it until we are as far as we can go.” You say with a shrug as you reach the cabin. Girls circle the fire, talking, working on firewood, hanging and sewing clothes on the line. 

Natalie looks at you as you both place the animals on the table in the cabin for Coach Scott to skin for cooking later. “I see. You're saying we piece together everything we know until we get enough coverage to find a way out?” 

“Yeah! I don’t know, but can we figure it out while we go? Like when we are bored, we draw more to the map.” 

“Yeah, okay, I like this plan.” She smiles as she slowly looks over your face. With a cute shrug, she says, “I’m happy I’m doing something. Gives me a reason to steal your time.” 

You giggle a little at the comment, trying not to take it as a clear hint that she wants to be with you. You say, “You always steal some of my time away, baby.” 

“I just want more.” Natalie smiled at you playfully as she slid away from you in the kitchen doorway to the other living space. You felt yourself smile to yourself in a flustered state, huffing out air. “Holy shit.” You mumble as you walk from the table to the back of the cabin. 

‘21

You lean against the wall with your eyes wide. You study Callie’s distraught face and see her lip quivering.

“My mom is cheating on my dad, and my dad is never home because his stupid fucking database needs work on, but it’s all just bullshit!” Callie says with a quiver in her voice, and tears come to her eyes, and she continues to say, “I am so sick of this shit!” 

You stay quiet because you feel like she just wants to yell out her frustrations at you, and you want her to calm down. 

“My mom asks me how I am or my day at school, but she doesn’t care about me! She doesn’t know what music I am, she doesn’t like my clothes, she hates my boyfriend, I can’t do this.” She has fat tears rolling down her face as she rages on. She tries to keep up the front that she is nonchalant and doesn’t care even though it is failing. “She just looks at me with these cold fucking eyes. I can’t stand it anymore. She looks at me and doesn’t see me at all! I am just a roommate to her!”

“Callie, that is not true. Your mother loves you.” 

“No, she doesn’t. She fucking hates me.” 

You stop yourself from yelling at her by closing your eyes and covering your mouth. You had a painful flash of a memory as she says that, of a bloody pile of rags used in the wilderness that old winter night when Shauna was in labor for the first time. You remember her cries that rattled your soul and caused you to have a tear in your eye. You could never bring yourself to speak about the baby before her, and it wasn’t your place to tell Callie something so heartbreaking about her mother. It didn’t stop your heart from breaking. 

“Callie, stop-“

“I know she is fucked up, and she is traumatized, but she doesn’t care how she traumatizes me.” She says with her eyes full of angry tears, and she points to herself with her hands, but her eyes grow wide as she looks at you across from her after that sentence.

You just stood there emotionless against the wall, with your eyes losing color as she paused to reflect on what she said. You sigh deeply. You slide down a wall for the second time tonight as you softly raise your eyebrow at her and look away for a second. You take out the pack of cigarettes in your sweatpants pocket, and you put one in your mouth.

“I’m going to let you in on a little something,” you pause to light your cigarette, “something about the woods.” 

You see her eyes keep wide and watery as she hugs her arms around her belly. She is focused on what you are saying but says nothing, scared of what will happen.

“Your mom, Jackie, and I have been best friends since kindergarten. We met playing house at recess and were always at each other's hips.” You say as you take a puff of your stick, looking at Callie with soft eyes, “I knew how your mother was when we were young. She was stubborn and guarded with her emotions; sometimes, Jackie and I couldn’t figure out what she was thinking. She hid some things from us but always told us eventually.” 

You stand up and sit next to Callie on your couch. You stare at the floor in front of you. Not her as you continue, you want to vomit, “But when we got out there, uh, the things that happened,” you pause yourself as you feel your lip quiver, “You have heard what people say about us, how they whisper what we did and what we did to each other to survive, is not as bad as it did go, honey.” You say with honesty dripping in your haunted tone, and you are in a faze staring at the burls in your hardwood floors. You know what you said was too dark and too vague not to continue as she sits beside you with bated breath. “People passed away out there because the winters were so cold that death felt like going to sleep. People passed away because they were trying to hunt, and wolves found them.” You stopped yourself again as you felt a tear fall from your eye. You weren’t even in your own body as you kept talking. It is somewhat the truth, mostly a lie, but still, the same reality you lived. You didn’t need to tell her the truth just yet. 

You didn’t even look at the girl in the corner of your eye. Callie stared in awe as you spoke about the unspeakable—the crash and surviving the wilderness. Tears formed in Callie’s eyes as she looked at her godmother. She was emotionally and mentally affected by what had happened just from speaking vaguely about it, thinking about you as a teenager going through all that, and thinking about her mother as a teenager in that situation, too.

“I need you to know what happened out there changed your mother. It kept her alive. It’s why she is here today, baby.” You say as you slowly turn to look at Callie. You push your goddaughter's hair behind her ear as your face stays still, tears running down her young, flustered cheeks. “When we lost Jackie, me and your mom were never the same. Something died within us. And every time you come face to face with the death of a friend like that, it kills something inside of you. It’s hard having kids of your own when you have known so many dead children at one time…”

You put your cigarette out as it reached the filter of the stick, and you flicked the rest into the small ashtray on the corner table.  “Callie, you are the age we were when all that happened. I know that in some small part when she looks at you, she sees what she could have been if it hadn’t been for the crash. And maybe it’s why she isn’t close to you right now or why she isn’t up your ass wondering what you're doing. Because she wants you to have a good time and do the stupid teenager stuff. She will never tell you that, though.” You say with a smile to Callie and a nudge to her side. You look at the calmed-down girl who looked deep in thought with her hands on her knees, 

You add to her ear with a warm tone to your voice again, your hand on her shoulder. “She loves you. Period. She worries sick about you, and she couldn’t put you down when you were born because she worried you would go away if she let you go, Callie. But she couldn’t be a mother like she could have been if your mom had never been out there in those woods, even if that doesn’t make that easier for you or make it fair… it was some really dark times out there for your mother, and that’s why she is not as emotionally open like other mothers. I’m sorry, Callie, but please don’t think your mother loves you.”

“Okay.” 

“And with that being said, what is happening with your mom and dad is between them. Stay out of it. I don’t know what is happening, but you have no part. They love you, no question, even if they are cheating. I understand it is affecting you and making you uncomfortable, but you can’t get involved with your parents. Okay.” You add that as you nudge her with your shoulder with a big smile. She softly smiles back with a shake of her head. 

“Fine.” She sighs, defected. 

You stand before your stove as you fry eggs in a pan. You yawn as you sip on your coffee. Your eyes still have a sleep crust in the corners of your eyes. You woke early to make breakfast for the sleeping Callie on your old sofa. Last night, after your long talk with Callie, you led her to your comfy sofa with the TV controller. You have her a pillow and a throw blanket to sleep on as you sit in your dad's old recliner. You let Callie put the TV on CartoonNetwork on some show she liked as a kid. You didn’t care much for its colorful characters or their loud laughing, but you leaned back as you heard Callie softly snore beside you in the living room. You leaned on your fist as you napped until the morning birds chirped outside your window. 

You made a big breakfast for the two of you, including eggs, bacon, toast, and a fruit salad bowl. When you hear the teenager walking down the hallway connecting to the kitchen, she slumps into a counter chair. She looks comfortable and relaxed at your house, as you always do when you watch her. 

“Good morning, Callie. How did you sleep?” You asked as you poured yourself another cup of coffee.

She yawns with her arms wide stretching, and she says in a deep yawn, “Good! I’m starving!” 

You chuckle as you place the fruit bowl before her and fry her eggs, “Eat up. You came at the right time. I needed to get rid of some food.” 

Callie chuckled as she threw a blackberry into her mouth. She says, “See, your favorite goddaughter coming over wasn’t such a bad thing.” 

“No, but sneaking out of your house at midnight and crossing town to my house isn’t so cool.” As you look at the side of your face to her, you want her to know you’re not over the danger she put herself in to talk to. “You couldn’t have called me to pick you up.” 

“You would have said no.” 

“I might have, but you would have been safe.” 

Callie sighed and took another berry in her mouth, slumping back in the chair almost defectively. You sigh in return as you plate the buttery egg for the child, “Listen, I love you. I care about your safety and feelings, okay? I would have come to your house and taken you out for ice cream or something. I wasn’t doing much then anyways, just picking out an outfit.” 

Callie looks at you with big, soft eyes as you push the plate toward her. She just keeps her head down as you speak. Callie picks up a fork and eats the hot eggs and bacon. She mumbles as she eats, “Thank you for talking to me last night. About what happened.” 

You move beside her, slumping into the chair. " Any time, I’ll always be there for you.” 

“Why were you picking out an outfit at 1 in the morning?” Callie chuckled as she spoke, completely taken from your comment earlier. 

You chuckle and say, “I’m promoting my book at a convention soon, so I was trying to find something cute.” 

“Can I help you?” She asks you with big eyes, pleading for a yes, and shoves the hot egg into her mouth. 

You chuckle and nod, “Finish your breakfast, and we can look around.”

Day 3

You and Natalie decided to start the map idea today. You went west towards the plane. There were enough animals that you both felt comfortable not fishing for the day, so you could devote more time to mapping the area. Today was the hottest day this week, and just walking to the front door from getting dressed made you sweat like a pig. 

“Alright, I’m going to head north, and you go to the plane, try to find out what's beyond that big ass tree.” Natalie says to you casually as she readjusts the rifle strap on her shoulder. She looks over you softly. 

You nod as you hold onto the strap of your purse, which you emptied to use as your forage bag—it just so happens to hold your remaining cigarettes. “Okay, I’ll try to get back at sundown, but I might take some rest.” 

“Please do. Try to get under some shade and stay out of the sun.”

“I’ll try. You better try, too. You're so pale you’ll get sunburnt just standing right here.” 

Natalie chuckled and shook her head, turning herself around to walk in her direction for her hunting, “Sundown!” 

You smile and turn away towards the trail, “Sundown!” 

You then march forward in the familiar trail down the forest. The way to the plane crash was like the back of your hand at this point. The once long and narrow path has become comfortable to travel through from Natalie and Travis. 

The heat surrounded your skin, creating a sticky film that dripped down every curve of your plush body. You felt a sweat drop from your back and collect on your bra’s clasp. The heat was getting to you, but you kept yourself under the shade of the tall trees. You would have already been resting if you were directly under the sun. 

 A pale-barked tree with lime leaves had dark branch scars on its flesh, standing at a curve in the trail, looking like almond eyes staring down at you in random directions. It was natural for birch trees to have lower branches to break off so that the plant could focus on the top branches that face the sun, but the scars of the branches falling age into the almost furrowed fiber. It was unreal but completely natural. As it was unnerving, it was beautiful. You stop yourself in awe at the simple, complex, tall plant; it is skinny but tall enough to be at least 50 years old and 60 feet tall and stare up in wonder at the peaks of sunlight through the cotyledon. As you gently let your eyes glance down, the slight curve of its shape as it comes to its base. 

The symbol stares at you. You softly raise your eyebrow as you stare down at the carving. It had to be new because it was at eye level with you, but it was faded enough not to be made by one of your teammates. Was it the mummy in the attic that made this? Or was it someone else? You were always so confused as you looked at the odd shape in the bark that your finger ran across the image out of a sudden urge. Your finger glides against the triangle, the short arms of the descending sides, the long diagonal line that crosses the entire shape, a crowned circle to the point on the top, and then a crooked hook at the base. You sighed to yourself as you moved away from the birch tree to continue on the trail. Your finger tingled with the friction.

You passed the old plane with a stiff, steady foot away from the eerie sight. Since the crash, you had wanted nothing to do with planes. The thought alone of being suspended in the air made your heart squeeze in your chest, and your stomach turn. You didn’t look at the white exterior as you rushed past the beast. 

When you get past the wide thick dark brown oak tree, aka big ass tree, that had moss dominating the left side, at least 150 years old, you walk forward on the tall grass. You look down at the ground and try to find anything worth taking back as you walk forward, making the map a wonderful excuse to forage. 

The summer has been a little dry in the last few weeks, with insufficient rain. The grass is turning brown in places as you move forward. The ground was barren of any nuts or mushrooms. You glace up, and you pause. 

In front of you was the old, wide, thick tree again, and the plane was just behind you again. You looked behind yourself to be sure of it. 

The plane was behind you again like you hadn’t walked at least five feet away from it. 

A breeze brushed against your side, moving the baby hairs on your cheek as you studied the tree in front of you in confusion. 

The timber has deep lines embedded in the tree's grain, and the moss grew on every pendant's surface. The swirls of the fiber were enchanting to look at and find where the line goes, but you pull yourself back from the beauty of the wood. You pull your crop top up to your face and wipe the multiple drops of sweat trailing down your nose and cheeks. 

 You march forward with some determination, trying to solve this problem. It made no sense. 

You walk past the mossy oak tree again and go towards the crowd of trees in front of you that goes on and on. Your eyebrow quirks stay on your forehead as you continue on your journey. 

And you walk forward towards the detritus as expected. The crunch of dead leaves and branched cry under your feet as you walk faster forward. Your eyes softened as you glanced around the environment, and you felt the uneasiness of whatever happened to melt from your shoulders. You reason that you must have turned yourself around when looking down at the mushrooms. You feel your mind wander as you march forward. You look up absentmindedly to look at the leaves above your head for some kind of entertainment. 

Your eyes level back to their natural direction, and when you do, they widen in terror. 

The cabin was before you, and Natalie was next to you. She looked at you nonchalantly and said, “Please do. Try to get under some shade and stay out of the sun.”

You freeze in place as you stare at the bleach blonde with a cold sweat coming over you. You felt the sweat collected from the hike you just had, and it felt like you spilled in time back to your conversation over 45 minutes ago. 

“Hey, are you alright?” Natalie asked concernedly, her hand touching your upper arm to reassure you. She noticed how much you were sweating and was completely confused. How could you be so sweaty from walking from the cabin to the fire pit?? 

You just stare into her eyes, feeling scared, “Wha-what?” 

“I said to stay out of the sun. Are you alright? Are you sure you're up for it today? It’s really hot.” Natalie says as she looks you over. She notices the pale complexion on your face and how your hands softly shake. “We haven’t looked past the tree, but you shouldn’t be scared.”

It was like you didn’t walk away. It felt wrong. This was wrong.

“I know, sorry! I’m getting a little lightheaded because my period is coming.” You lie, trying to find any excuse for acting so strange to her. 

She raised an eyebrow and questioned what was happening to the girl beside her, and she said, “Okay… Just take some water with you. Take as many breaks as you need.” 

“I will.” You say and nod. You must have imagined walking past the plane if you hadn’t left this conversation like nothing happened. You take the plastic red water bottle Natalie handed you with a soft smile and worried eyes.

“(Y/n), if you get tired, just head home. We can always come back to it; don’t overwork yourself.” 

“I’ll try not to. I will come back as soon as possible, I promise.”

“Okay, try to get back at sunset, " she says as she softly steps back and starts to head in her direction to hunt. Her gun hits the back of her thigh as she stares you down. Please don’t overdo It.”

“Okay, be careful,” you mutter back to her as you watch her walk off in her direction as she did in the morning. You remember everything, and it’s happening again. 

You shook your head to yourself as you turned yourself around, “I’m fucking crazy.” You thought as you walked the trail again, but you knew for certain you had traveled, and there was no question in the ache of your feet. 

You get to the carved birch tree once again with its dark eyes. You don’t give it or the plane so much of a glance as you continue to the mossy oak. 

You felt focused on your mission to understand how you got turned around so badly when you got back home, ignoring the fact you walked into a conversation you already had. You let your hand touch the moss on the left side of the oak as a marker in your memory if it was truly tricking you.

 As the hour passes, you rush to see beyond the oak tree and familiar trees. You just needed a landmark to find it to draw, and you would head back. It didn’t need to be so confusing. You walk past the oak tree to the sea of timber to find a boring environment again, no trail to have your eyes look down to or rocks to stumble on, as you see the sparkles of light and birds resting in branches above. Your focus again relaxed even with your sharp mind, and your eyes glance down to your shoes again. 

Your eyes look at your laces as you walk forward in routine. You took a deep breath as you tried to calm the nerves building in your body, and as you looked up, it felt like it shot whatever efforts you made to soothe yourself. You still your movements to the feeling of your heart dropping to your stomach.  

Again, the pale-barked tree with lime leaves stares back at you on the curve of the trail. You didn’t understand. It doesn’t make sense. 

You walked straight past the oak tree, glancing behind the birch tree to peek at the fat tree standing in the background of the plane. Then, you closed your eyes slowly. 

Your lower lip quivers as your eyebrows furrow, and your teeth catch your salty lip. You swallow the spit collecting in your cheeks, holding a cry in your throat—a big drop of sweat rolls down your neck from the back of your head. 

Why are you so emotional right now? 

Why does it feel pointless? All of it. The trail, the map, the fucking point of trying to find a way out. It felt like everything was up against you, and you know rationally that it was mostly true.

You weren’t going to help anything. You are not fit enough to go more than a mile before you get tired, and you can’t help but get lost. 

It’s a trail in the ground. How could you get turned around in circles? 

Halting in your tracks, you covered your tear-covered eyes as watery tears ran down your cheeks, mixing with your sweat. 

You don’t know what to do. 

“Dad would know what to do. He knew what to do for everything out here.” You thought as your lip curls in a deep frown, pushing down a sob to the bottom of your stomach. 

You wanted to hit yourself on the side of your head, and you wanted to scream into the bright green leaves that looked down at you with indifference. 

You didn’t listen to your dad about everything. You wanted to hit yourself for every time you didn’t listen, and you didn’t care about what he was saying, didn’t absorb everything he gave you so lovingly. You wanted to crawl into his arms and be rocked like you were as a child. You wanted to feel the safety of his strong chest and arms around you. You are never going to feel it again. 

The river ran down your cheeks as your feet started to march forward. 

You felt stupid. Ashamed somehow. And overwhelmingly devastated.

 It was fucking hotter than hell outside. 

You slap your hand that covers your eyes to your side. You look down at your shoes, walking through the dry grass and dirt. You say to yourself, as you hiccup a cry, “This sucks.” 

As you expected, you look to find the brown curvy tree again. You stop again as you wipe away the sweat from your brow and the wetness collecting at your upper lip. A breeze gracefully brushes against your back. 

You sigh as you focus on yourself again. You wipe your face again with your black crop top and wipe your clammy hands on your thighs. You walked on. It felt like you were walking into a wall and expecting something different. 

As you walk forward, you look at the oak tree, which is mossy and dominates the right side of the plant. This made you pause again this morning. As you stared at the tree, you wanted to pull your hair from the roots. 

Wasn’t the moss on the left side? 

You couldn’t be mistaken. You knew this tree. It’s the tree you slept under when the aftermath cuddled beside Jackie and Shauna. It was the tree you collected kindling for your first fire out here. The moss was on the left. 

You fucking touched it, for god sake. You are not crazy. 

Why is it now on the right? 

You put your hand on the mossy side as you walked past it not even 15 minutes ago. You don’t know how you could have been turned around from looking down at your feet. It was in the direction you left from; it was on the left, not the right. 

You threw your hands up in defeat, and a dry laugh came from your throat, tears streaming down again. You were too hot to think straight, but you felt an itch in your skin. You were so confused.

You walk towards the right side, lift your leg over a thorny bush, and start walking forward.

It wasn’t like it was before. It was a rocky and uneven terrain that made your aching feet uncomfortable. The crowd of trees was as it always was. You hiccuped at the end of your cries. 

You stumble on a sharp rock, fall forward, and catch yourself with your knees and elbows on the grass. 

You hiss a moan of pain, and you sit up on your knees. You wipe dirt and blades of grass from your elbows. You look back up to the dark branch scars of the single birch tree at the curve in the trail. 

You didn’t cry this time as you stood up. You sniffled and looked on with fear. You are losing it. Maybe you're having heatstroke? 

The birch tree with lime leaves and eyes staring down at you with almost a mocking laugh. You felt a scowl grow on your lip as you walked forward stubbornly. You just fucking can’t understand. 

You think for a moment and can’t remember this strange birch tree. You don’t remember when you and Taissa found the lake, and you don’t even remember a curve in the trail. You thought birch trees grow in their groves and asexually sprout saplings around themselves. Sure, the seeds could have been eaten and taken to this specific spot, but not a single seedling for an adult healthy tree made no sense. 

Nothing fucking made sense.

You find yourself in front of the oak tree again, almost dizzy from the turning around you have done today. The sun's heat beats on the crown of your head, and you feel a boiling sensation. You stare down at the bark of the oak, seeing the moss collect on the left side as it always has. 

It was like the trees were messing with you and laughing. The leaves stare down at you with a snicker on their lips. 

“Fuck it.” You spat out in frustration. You didn’t stop your leg kicking out to the tree, kicking the moss. The growth softly lands on the sole of your shoe and the tow box of your beaten shoes. You give up. “I don’t get it.” You say to yourself as a breeze comes over your burning face. 

You turn around and see the curve of the birch tree move. You pause again as you look on, glaring at the change. You are paranoid.

The tree’s bark and scars moved in front of your eyes, and the curve on the side of the wood slinked into what seemed like a feminine hip. 

You feel like you weren’t in your body as you wanted the tree morph in front of you. It completely moved two smaller scars to the center eye level to you, and it seemed to slowly open one of the scars like someone waking up from a deep sleep.

(Y/e/c) flashes in the new pocket as you feel your body launch back to the trail, running back to the cabin. You felt a scream rip out of your lip as you ran past the tree with a chill tickling your spine. 

And you ran.

You look behind yourself to see a sapling next to the birch tree. It looked like a woman with her arms above her head, and what could have been hair stood up tall, her fingers connecting with her hair with leaves and seeds dancing. The body curves and leans to the side as if it looks at you running away with a studying eye. 

You don’t look back after that. You stumble and panic your way through the sunsetting light. You felt unaware tears spilling as you tried to stay straight on the trail. 

The sun was set when you reached the cabin, and the stars shone brightly above you. Time must have escaped you like your sanity. You puff out the pants of breath you had, and you can’t help yourself from feeling exhausted. 

Natalie and Shauna sat at the porch steps waiting for you, the spring from their spot as they heard your footsteps.

“Oh my god, (y/n)!” “Dude! I said sunset! We were about to go out to look for you!”

You pant as you come to the two girls. They grab your sweaty form, and you look down to the ground as a sharp breath travels down your throat. You wanted to vomit how much you were exerting yourself. You knew you couldn’t tell the truth; they didn’t need to know how bad you were getting.

“I’m so sorry! I fell asleep and woke up, and I rushed back! Am alright, just fucking ran like hell.” 

Shauna chuckles and punches your arm harshly, “You could have been hurt! Of course, you were just napping!” 

Natalie shook her head softly at the confession and chuckled, but her eyes remained stern. " You can’t be trusted alone anymore. I have to babysit you because you need your baby naps.”

“Shut the fuck up.” You huffed in your still panting breath. You point your middle finger at Natalie as the two laugh, pulling you towards the cabin. Something bothers your foot inside your shoe, making you want to kick it off.

You follow them without a fight, and a growl in your stomach loudly grumbles as you enter the cabin. Most of the others were in their sleeping bags and makeshift beds on the ground of the living space, some in the kitchen. 

Misty sits up from her spot and whispers, “Is (y/n) back?” 

“Yeah, she's here. All's good.” Shauna says to Misty as she walks past you to the kitchen. “I’m getting your dinner.” 

“Me too.” Natalie says as she follows behind Shauna with a concerned face. 

Misty sits down with a big smile and says, “I’m happy you're back, (y/n).” 

“Thank you.” You say to her without smiling, moving yourself to your bags. 

You wanted to peel the sticky fabric off your body, completely change every piece of clothing you had, and take another bath. 

“Is she back?” You heard Coach Scott ask the girls in the other room with sleep in his voice. There was a conversation you would hear, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to listen to. You wanted to lay down on your pillow.

It seemed well past 10 while everyone took a rest. You couldn’t wrap your head around how what felt like a 3-hour journey into an 11-hour one. You didn’t have the energy to care much, though. As you pulled your shoe from your foot, a pile of moss stumbled out from the inside, littering your sock with small moss fur.

You throw your shoe to the side, rip your sock off, and moss is even between your toes.

You stood up, disgusted and anxious. You pulled your crop top off, wanting to shred every piece of the day away. Then, you pulled a long pink shirt from your jean shorts, and lime-colored leaves fell inside your clothes. 

The birch tree leaves.

You look down at the floor beside your feet at the pile of leaves and moss all around you as if you rolled around in the earth. You looked at your hands to find dirt under your nails as if you were digging for roots. 

“(Y/n)?” 

You turn your head sharply at Jackie. She lays beside your makeshift bed and looks up at you with big eyes. “Are you okay, (y/n)? You seem spazzed out.” 

You shook your head and said, “I think I started my period, and I am covered in dirt.” 

She chuckled and said, “That sucks, okay! I freak out every time I bleed out here.”

You nodded your head with a chuckle, lost in your own head, “Yeah, now I have to clean-“ 

When you look down at the ground, you see only a birch leaf and moss fur. 

“I have to clean myself.” You finish your sentence, and you rub your eyes. “I think the heat is getting to me, too.”

“It’s okay! Lay under the window.” Jackie smiles as if she solved the problem and closes her eyes. 

You were going fucking crazy.

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[andreafmn]

Speak | Chapter 10

Word Count: 3.5K Story Description: Bella Swan was a disaster when Edward had left. Deciding she needed a little help, Charlie Swan receives with open arms his younger daughter (Y/N) Swan. She helps Bella during her depression and becomes inseparable from her long-lost friend Jacob. What she didn’t expect was falling for a hotheaded short-tempered silver wolf. Chapter: 10/? Warnings: emotional and mental abuse A/N: can't believe I finished this on schedule! the story everyone is obsessed with for some reason just got updated😂🤍 My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts to support me and my love of writing or buy me a coffee TikTok • Instagram • Business | MASTERLIST If you’d like to be tagged in this or any other story: click here Make sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post!  Taglists for Twilight get filled quick and Tumblr only lets me tag up to a certain point. Notifications are your best bet.

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Chapter 10

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" Jacob suddenly asked as the pair made their way to his truck. "It's already so late and I don't wanna make the drive back to Forks right now."

"Uh, sure, that sounds great," she said, trying to contain her excitement. A surge of happiness took over her as she witnessed Jake trying. He was trying to keep them together, at least that's what it looked like to her. "I'll just let dad know."

"Yeah, sure."

After she had settled on the center of the seat, Jacob helped his father into the truck, stepping out to say goodbye to his friends.

"I'll let you know that there won't be any funny business under my roof, (Y/N)," Billy smiled teasingly. "Though I am glad that Jacob is seemingly trying to turn over a new leaf this new year."

"I promise we'll do nothing but sleep, Billy," she chuckled. "And I also hope this is a new start for Jake and me. That everything that happened stays in the past and we can just give it our all in this relationship."

"If it is meant to be, (Y/N), the universe will find a way," he said as mystically as he always spoke. "You deserve happiness, my child."

"People keep saying that," she responded, her eyes growing far more interested in the skin of her fingers. "Does no one think that Jake can make me happy?"

"That's not what I'm saying, (Y/N)," he smiled, his hand falling on top of the one she was picking. "All I am saying is that if the love and happiness that you deserve is with Jacob, then the universe will allow it."

"And if not?"

"Then, your paths will always align."

"Then let's hope that what's written on the stars is in our favor." And as she said that she didn't know if she was wishing that to convince him or to convince herself.

The three of them rode back to the Black residence in a comfortable silence. The sounds of the woods and the whistling of the wind filled their quiet. She wondered what they said. If they whispered words of encouragement or if they taunted her downfall. She wanted to believe it was the former, because the latter would wreck her.

"Well, you two. I trust that you will behave yourselves since you're under my roof," Billy told them, eyeing the teenagers suspiciously. "And don't start getting used to these sleepovers. This is only because it's already two in the morning and we are all tired."

"Dad," Jacob grumbled. "Just go to bed already."

"Ooh, never thought I'd be shooed away in my own home," the man chuckled. "But I will leave you two. Not because you told me so, but because I am tired. Good night, kids."

"Night, dad."

"Good night, Billy."

Billy rolled away to his bedroom, turning in for the night. He left the couple standing in the living room, a heavy and tense air blowing between them. They had yet to acknowledge everything that had happened between them, much less finally putting it to rest.

"Uh, I'll get you some clothes and you can shower first if you want," Jacob mumbled as he walked into his room before coming out with a folded t-shirt and some sweatpants. "Might be a bit big on you, but it's better than nothing. There're extra towels under the sink."

"Sure," she smiled. "Thanks."

There was still remnant awkwardness between them as they tried to waltz around unspoken words. She locked herself in the bathroom, finally allowing herself to breathe. Fresh start is what she told herself. Over and over again she told herself that they were having a fresh start. As she showered and cleaned away Paul's touch and the thought of him, she had to believe it.

Jacob was who she had always wanted. The boy she had grown up with, the one she had never forgotten. Still, her mind wondered what would have happened if Paul had been the one she had met first. If he had been the boy that was in her mind for the almost sixteen years she had been alive. Maybe she would have been standing in his bathroom instead of Jake's. Maybe she would have been wearing his oversized t-shirt.

"Hey," Jacob called softly from the living room as she opened the bathroom door. "Come here."

(Y/N) walked down the hallway to where he was, a smile stretching on her face as she was met with what Jake had done while she showered.

He had pushed aside the wooden coffee table that lived between the sofas and placed in its stead plush blankets and pillows, a pair of hot chocolate mugs in front of the fireplace. His long, wet hair was plaited back, and he had changed into pajamas. And he was waiting for her.

"What's all this?" (Y/N) smiled.

"I think it's about time we put things to rest already, (Y/N)," he said, patting the pace in front of him. "I don't like fighting with you."

"I don't like it either," she sighed contentedly as she sank into the warmth of his body, his arms wrapping around her. "I like things when they're like this. When we're together and happy."

"I know, and I want it to be like this all the time. But it can't be when I hear you're running around with Paul," he reminded her. His tone was soft, but his words were as snipping as a snake's bite. "I just can't stand the guy and it's embarrassing when it happens in front of the town."

"Jake, I..."

"Don't worry, baby, that's all in the past. As long as you promise not to see him again, (Y/N). I don't want you to fall into his trap."

(Y/N) couldn't remain quiet for long. She knew it would only work to anger him. But how could she promise something she didn't want to do? Something that her gut told her was wrong. "Of course," she lied. "I promise. Paul is a thing from the past."

"That's what I like to hear," he smiled before he turned her head to kiss her. "We need to focus more on us. Focus on our relationship."

"I would love that," she beamed. "I want this to work, Jake. I want us to work."

"Then let's," he smirked.

Jake attached his mouth to her neck, nipping at a spot that took her breath away. His hand held her head back, gripping her jaw. He took in her scent, the warmth of her skin, the sounds from her mouth. All as he imagined...

"Stop, Jake," she said, her voice treading between a moan and a chuckle. "Your dad is literally down the hall."

"He's a heavy sleeper," he chuckled against her skin. "He'll never know."

"No, Jake." She separated from him; a playful grin splayed on her mouth as she turned to face him. "Not here. Not now."

"Ugh, fine," he groaned, falling on his back. "Then, I guess we'll just sleep."

"Yes," she mused, crawling over his body and planting a soft kiss on his lips. "But together."

Jacob wrapped his arms around her and chuckled, positioning both of them comfortably on a blanket and draping another over them. Her body curled into his, his arms wrapped around her waist as he spooned her.

"We'll have to talk about taking things to the next level," he said against her ear, his breath tickling her skin. "I think it might cement everything between us."

"And I think you need to take a breather, Jacob," she chuckled. "We just got to a good place. Let's take things as they go."

"Ugh, fine," he muttered jokingly. "Then, let's just go to sleep."

"Alright, Jake. Good night."

"Night, (Y/N)."

If every night after was like this one, maybe it was the universe's way of telling her that Jake was the one. Laying there, wrapped in his arms, she could let herself believe that the tides were changing. That at the end of the day, Jacob would choose her. Maybe, just maybe.

***

"I can't believe she went home with him," Paul groaned, punching a nearby tree. The way the bark splintered helped ease his anger for a second, but the burning pain inside his chest remained. "I don't know what else I can do to make her understand what a shitty guy he is."

"You know there is," Jared teased. "You could always tell her how you feel and why."

Paul's stoic stare was clear even in the darkness of the night. He knew Jared was right. The more he pursued her without telling her the reason why, the harder it would be to explain his behavior. "You know I can't, dude," he grumbled. "I don't wanna put her in the middle of all of this bull."

"It's not that bad, man," the boy offered. "Look at me and Kim. She knows and nothing has happened to her."

"Yeah, she also liked you before you were a shapeshifting freak," he joked. "And look at Emily. She's forever scarred because didn't have a grasp on what was happening."

"Come on, you know that was an exception, Paul. What happened to her was a very unfortunate accident. But an accident, nonetheless. There's really no reason for you to be running from (Y/N)."

"Look how much shit happened to Bella in so little time, Jared. And it all started when she found out the truth about the Cullens," Paul said. "I don't know what I would do if I made (Y/N) go through any of that because of what I am."

"So you're gonna continue brooding and make our lives miserable? Just tell her, man. Maybe she'll fall in love with you and turn that frown upside down."

Paul picked up a stick and threw it at Jared's head, laughing as the other boy tried to duck but failed to; the piece of wood bouncing off his forehead. "You'll have to put up with me for a lot longer then," he laughed, swallowing the sadness that threatened to overtake him. "I just don't think I have it in me to do that to her. She deserves to be safe and happy."

"Even if it's with Jacob?"

"Unfortunately, that decision is hers to make," he sighed. "I just wish she didn't have to get hurt in the process."

Jared remained quiet for a second. He stared as his pack brother paced before him, his mind too quiet aside for the sporadic image of (Y/N). But even if he didn't say it, he could feel Paul's sadness. He could feel the tug in his chest that called him to go to her. He had felt it too. Every time Kim had to go to a family dinner or visit family out of state, he felt like someone had taken his heart off his chest and sent it away.

But (Y/N) was so close. All he had to do was have one tough conversation and he could soften the grasp of the claws that covered his heart. "What are you so afraid of, Paul?" Jared finally said. "I know you say you don't want to hurt her and all that, but there's something else. Isn't there?"

Paul stared at his friend, wondering if he was that transparent. "I've never been a, uh, a relationship guy. Haven't had the best role models," he confessed. "I guess I think that if I let myself get close to her, I won't be able to handle when she inevitably goes. Because at the end of the day, everyone leaves."

"Not everyone, Paul. We're still here."

"Because you have to be," he shrugged. "If you had the chance to go, you would take it. And don't try denying it."

"Come on, man. You're my friend. More than that, you're my brother," Jared reassured. "But, sure, if I had the chance to leave the rez one day, I would take it. But that doesn't mean I would leave my friends behind. Much less, family."

"Jared, we wouldn't have even spoken to each other had it not been because of the shift. I'm not that delusional to think otherwise."

"Regardless of how or why it happened, life brought us together, Paul. And whether you like it or not, you're my brother now," the boy smiled, draping his arm over Paul's shoulders. "Now, you need to let that girl prove that she would stick by you as well. And it starts by having that difficult conversation you're so scared to have. She's desperate for a reason, dude. All you have to do is tell her."

"She's going to think I'm crazy, J. That I'm making up stories to get her away from Jake," Paul whined. "Why would she believe that there are shapeshifting wolves roaming around the reservation protecting humans from threats? And what if she goes to her sister with the story? Then Bella will know about vampires and shapeshifters, and it'll just add more shit on top of the mess we're dealing with."

"How about you stop overthinking yourself into the ground and finally grow some balls?" Jared teased. "Don't think of what might happen and live in the moment. I know last year's Paul would've had the courage to ask her out. Jacob or no Jacob."

"I technically already asked her out once, and it ended up with me, by myself, in the diner," he reminded his friend, red flooding his cheeks as he recalled the embarrassing moment. "This is not just about inviting the prettiest girl in school to the prom. This is about telling someone that everything they had believed is not real. It's telling her that it doesn't matter what she might have wanted, that something out in the universe decided that we are bonded for life. It's telling a girl like her that she's stuck with a guy like me."

"Man, I can't keep trying to convince you that you are a good guy," Jared sighed. "I'm not saying you're the gods' gift to mankind. Certainly not the you from a year ago. But you're not that guy anymore. You're not even the same guy from six months ago. So, it's time to pick yourself up and do what you have to do. Stop moping about this and do something."

***

(Y/N) woke up with warm arms wrapped around her and a pang in her chest she didn't understand. She was supposed to feel happy. She was supposed to wake up that New Year's Day with an overwhelming amount of joy and the sense that things were finally on the right path. Instead, there was an aching void in her heart that was trying to eat at her insides.

It was the same void that had started festering since that fateful night at the bonfire. The one that seemed to calm whenever the fluke was around. The one that called out his name and she had let go on deaf ears.

That pang filled her with guilt. As she lay in Jacob's arms, she felt guilty that her head was thinking of another guy. And it was a guy she barely knew. A boy that she had no business thinking about, much less dreaming about.

But she couldn't help it. She couldn't forget the softness of his hands against her skin, the brightness of his smile as he looked at her, the glimmer in his eyes when he listened to her. She couldn't get him out of her head.

And as if by divine intervention, the very constant thought appeared in Jacob's window. He knocked softly, motioning for her to go outside. (Y/N) couldn't believe he was there, much less that Jacob had yet to wake up. But what was harder to fathom was the fact that she was tiptoeing to the front door dragging a blanket with her.

"What are you doing here, Paul?" (Y/N) said as she closed the door behind her, wrapping the fabric tighter around her body. "If Jacob sees you here, he'll kill you."

"I thought I was supposed to be playing nice with him," he grinned teasingly. "What if I was here to extend a truce?"

"It wouldn't have mattered because he made me promise him that I wouldn't see you again," she whispered. "So, imagine what he will do if he sees you here right now."

"And did you?"

"What? Did I what?"

"Did you promise him, (Y/N)?" Paul asked sadly. "Is this your way of telling me that you're cutting ties with me?"

"No, of course not," she quickly replied. "I mean, I did promise him. But I never intended to keep it. I would just find a way to keep you two separate."

"So, what? I'd just be your dirty little secret?" he replied, anger clear in his tone. "Yeah, no, thanks. I'd rather take my chances with other friendships."

"What did you want me to say, Paul? Did you want me to tell my jealous boyfriend that I wanted to maintain a friendship with the one guy he seems to despise more than anything?" (Y/N) spoke through gritted teeth. "Would you have wanted me to tell Jake that I wanted to spend time with a guy he was close to dragging into the middle of town and beating the living daylights out of him? Sure, that would have ended great for me."

"Why would you wanna be with a guy like that, (Y/N)? If you're that afraid of his reaction over something as small as a friendship, what do you think will happen if something bigger happens?"

"He only reacts that way with you, and I don't get why," she sighed. "And I wanna be with him because I... because... because I..."

"Why, (Y/N)? Tell me!"

"Because I love him, Paul," she cried, shame cracking her voice. "I've been waiting for this chance for the better part of my life. I've been in love with him for as long as I've known what it was. And he wants me back, Paul. He wants me. And I'm not giving up at the first sign of hardship. So, if you really want to be my friend then you're gonna have to live with that."

"What if I don't?" Paul grumbled, his voice low and hurt. He got closer to her. So close she could feel how warm his body was, even through the blanket. "What if I can't stand around and watch as he mistreats you? Someone that loves you would never treat you like that."

"Don't make this harder than it already is, Paul," she whispered, warm tears falling down her cheeks. "For some reason I want you in my life. But I won't screw up what I just started with Jacob for a friend."

"I just don't wanna see you like this," he said, wiping away the tears with the pad of his thumbs. "You deserve to be happy, but not when it has rules and regulations like this. You should be allowed to still be yourself when you're in a relationship."

"Paul..."

"Listen, (Y/N)," he sighed. "I can't tell you what to do, nor would I want to. But I can't just watch in the sidelines as he treats you like shit when you deserve someone that will worship the ground you walk on."

"What are you saying, Paul?" (Y/N) croaked. "Are you saying you won't be my friend if I stay with Jacob?"

"(Y/N), I'm saying that I won't keep quiet if he keeps mistreating you."

"He doesn't," she said, but she knew it wasn't convincing. She didn't even believe it herself. "He just... he's just passionate, I guess."

"Then can you promise me something?" Paul sighed, his eyes glossing with tears. "If he ever –and I mean ever—gets physical with you, even as much as lifts his hand at you, you will tell me. The second it happens, you call me."

"I don't think it'll come to that," she forced a smile. "He would never put his hands on me."

"Just, please, (Y/N). Promise me and don't lie to me."

"Alright," she said, looking straight into the brown of his eyes. "I promise, Paul."

"I'll make sure you're always safe," he promised. His hand had not fallen from her face, his thumb caressing over her cheekbone. "No one is going to hurt you, (Y/N)."

(Y/N) had no idea why, but she believed every word he said. So, she promised. And, unlike with Jacob, she intended to keep it.

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[thesweetnessofspring]

A little different version of "so after" and loosely inspired by Far From the Madding Crowd. Rated M and bordering E because..."so after."

Peeta's scarred hands work in the fireplace, arranging everything for the fire. First he situates the New Year log, taken from an oak tree in the woods, in the grate and places the kindling of pine needles on top. Peeta guides he singular flame of the match onto the kindling and it catches. I lean against the armrest of the couch, watching his lips pucker as he blows on the fire. Some of my own fire, left to nothing but embers, burns low and pleasant at the thought of the way those lips press to my forehead and cheek after a nightmare. And leads me to think of the night on a beach. As the fire in the hearth builds, the orange glow shadows his face, his hair appears golden with the light.

The fire reaches a steady crackle, lighting the room with its promise of a new year bringing better days. It's been just over a year since Prim's death and those days I was lost in my grief. And yet, ever so slowly, good has come. I make it a game, thinking of the good things that have happened this past year. Most are from Peeta, who first coaxed me from my empty days into the spring air and reminded me how flowers still grow.

I wait for Peeta to join me, so that I can burrow myself in his arms, my ear over his heartbeat. Yet he stays where he is, sitting back on his heels and staring at the fire. If his hands weren't flat against his thighs, I might suspect he was having a flashback, he's so far away from me.

"Peeta?" I ask. "Come sit by me."

He still stares at the fire, not moving toward me. "Does it bother you what people are saying about us?"

"What's that?" I ask. I hadn't noticed much. But then again, I don't bother with most people these days. Peeta doesn't, either, though he will go on walks and pass by the market that's popped up during the rebuild. He hears more than I do.

"That we're living as husband and wife," Peeta says. He turns his head to peek over at me, half of his face shadowed and cautious.

"I suppose we are. In our way."

We've shared our meals, kept each other company, and held hands since he came back. When I couldn't take sleeping alone anymore, I went into Peeta's bed. I'm surprised by how comfortable it feels to admit that what we have is almost like a marriage. Not since before my father's death have I ever thought I might be someone's wife.

"They don't mean it like that," Peeta says. "They're saying I'm taking your milk without paying for the goat."

It was an old saying, talked about with judging looks. The man for taking advantage of a woman without ensuring her proper legal protection. The woman for running the risk of having a fatherless child. When he found out Peeta and I were sharing a bed again, Dr. Aurelius encouraged me to take birth control and I could think of no reason to object. So even if Peeta were taking my milk as they say, it couldn't hurt me. Not in the way I worried about so much before.

I still flush at the thought of it, of the two of us naked and touching each other, of his lips on mine and his hands on my body. I clench my legs together at the thought.

"That's stupid," I say.

Peeta's cheeks turn dark in the firelight and he avoids looking at me. "I'm only saying what everyone else says. And of course, the idea of us—like that—it's stupid."

"I said they're stupid," I say. "Not us—"

I fluster and can't say the words. Only there's the thought again, the thought of olive skin to pink skin, scar to scar, and him inside of me, all over me. Tasting him again. Would he taste the same? Or sweeter this time, after so much bitterness?

"Not us what, Katniss?" Peeta asks quietly.

Our eyes connect and there's something burning brightly inside of me. Life. A warmth that I'd thought had long been extinguished, and yet persists despite all we've lost. What he means to me, the safety and goodness he brings to me, had never gone away. It only waited for this moment, when everything was right.

I slide from the couch and crawl to him on the floor. When I sit by his side, my back to the fire, it's just how it was at the beach. Only he hasn't even touched me yet and I'm craving him. So I lean in and kiss him, soft at first, as we brush off the last dust of distance between us, and then the kiss grows deeper and slows so we can savor it. Although I've kissed Peeta a thousand times before, and a couple made me want more, this feels like the first time. It's certainly the first time we've been able to kiss like this all on our own with no one watching. I want more, and he must, too, because our kisses build to crushing, breathless events.

At some point, I swing one leg around him so I'm on his lap and his hands are at the small of my back and I want, I need his skin on mine. So I break our kiss to pull my shirt over my head and then reach for his, too.

Once we're both topless, I cup his cheek to draw him into another kiss. His bare hand rests on my waist, then travels up to my breast. I tremble from the intensity of the feel of him there, of the way I need him more. My body seeks it, pressing down on his lap and finding him seeking me, too.

It's not enough. As much as I know we're on the right track, it's as if I'm smelling the food instead of tasting it. The motions only make me want more.

Peeta pulls back for a moment only to flip us so that I'm on my back parallel to the fire and he hovers over me, elbows holding him up. His curls cascade around his face as he peers down at me.

"Don't stop," I tell him, missing the contact more than anything.

The flames catch his eyes and he kisses all over my face and down my neck, my chest, my arms, my stomach and taking extra time where the scars run deepest, his tongue running along them. At my belly button he looks up at me and I hurriedly lift my hips up to slide off my pants. He moves back up to kiss me on the mouth, but I'm more aware of his hands gently tracing my underwear. I open my legs to his touch.

"This okay?" he asks, uncertainty in his words.

"Yes," I assure him and he moves more confidently in rubbing me over my underwear. It doesn't have that same spark as when I was on top of him, but I do like him touching me there. Then there's a place he finds and I jerk with a sharp pleasure and give a little cry.

"Right there?" he asks, going over the spot again.

"Yes!"

He swipes up and down and I whimper, biting my lip. Still, I need more. I put my hand on top of his and guide him beneath my underwear. When his fingers find my bare flesh over that spot, my whole body blazes with heat and I move my hips against his hand. Peeta's free hand cups himself, squeezing over his pants, his body shaking now. He's holding back, keeping himself hidden from me, as if we were still those kids in the arena. Me squeamish at the idea of seeing him completely naked, and him waiting for me to let him in, even though our lives depended on it. But we're not as we were before in the arena. The most obvious sign now is that I want to feel him, too.

I grab hold of him over his pants and for a second he falters where he rubs me, giving a short curse. That reaction makes me more responsive in turn. I lift my head up to kiss him and then make for his pants, first unbuttoning and then tugging them and his underwear down.

While Peeta untangles his bottoms from his prosthetic leg, I peel my damp underwear off and then we're naked together, both of us pausing to look from the other's bodies to making eye contact and swiftly looking away again. It hits us both what we're about to do, what we could do.

"We don't have to go further unless you're sure," Peeta says.

He's right. I know we could keep going the way that we have, with our easy routine and companionship for the rest of our lives. Neither of us will abandon the other. If we were going to, it would have happened long ago. Yet, even if we don't do this tonight, it's obvious we will in time. I don't think there is a single thing in the past that could have changed us coming to this point eventually.

"Come here," I say.

Peeta doesn't need telling twice. We take our time exploring each other, asking questions, trying things out. I almost feel foolish how little I know about my own body while Peeta gives more to guide me on, though he says he doesn't mind experimenting. Some things feel wonderful, others are just nice because Peeta is touching me. He takes it all in until he has me soaring from his caresses.

After Peeta asks if it's what I want and I confirm it, finally, we're joined. I'm breathless for a moment and there is a tightness that's uncomfortable at first, until I adjust to him. Peeta hovers above me, staying still, watching my face. When I make eye contact with him and nod, he begins to move. Our communication then is through our sounds of delight, quick kisses, the tilt of our bodies, quick affirmations, a cry of the other's name.

The fire dances beside us when Peeta brings a blanket over our naked skin and I'm in a haze of blissful sleep, making a pillow of his chest.

"Katniss?" he asks.

I hum to let him know I'm listening, so warm and happy the next words, said as soft and low as a baby bird's downy feather, take me by surprise.

"You love me. Real or not real?"

The question I've asked since after the berries myself, always in a muddle of confusion, comes to light like a spring morning. There is now, and for always, only one answer to give.

"Real."

[natti-ice]

Never Been Kissed- Tom Riddle.

Pairing: Tom Riddle x fem!reader

You go out at night to meet a friend, and end up forming a new relationship.

Warnings: OOC Tom riddle, set in the Marauders era!

Author’s note: this is a reuploaded and modified fic I wrote a while ago!

Reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated<3

Sneaking out of your dorm room, you make your way up to the astronomy to meet Sirius Black. This was a normal occurrence, you two would meet every Friday to talk about what happened that week or what's been bothering them and just goof off. You and Sirius have been friends since first year and last year you two started this tradition of meeting weekly. Since you're both in your last year at Hogwarts, it's hard to make time to see each other during normal hours.

Crossing the castle careful not to run into Filch or worse Mrs. Norris... the biggest snitch in town. Thankfully you have never been caught, can't say the same for Sirius, that boy makes so much noise wherever he goes. After climbing the crazy amount of stairs to the top of the tower finally you see the clear night sky. It was truly a beautiful sight, the early November night was chilly but not bad enough for a jacket.

You're always the first one there, arriving at around 11:40 pm, but Sirius shows up fashionably late at midnight, making you wait.

Tonight he seemed to be taking his sweet time because your watch is reading 12:18 am. Maybe he's having a hard time picking out an outfit or got attacked by a wild banshee, maybe he just forgot? You thought to yourself. Knowing him, he probably had some superficial reason as to why he didn't come to see his favorite person at Hogwarts. You waited until 12:40 a whole hour late and finally decided Sirius Black had flaked on you.

It didn't hurt your feelings much since it was the first time it ever happened, but you're a little irritated that you wasted an hour doing nothing. You're a night owl so you aren't very tired, you decide to explore the school for a while. Standing up from the wood-paneled floor, you let your legs take you wherever.

You walk down many corridors, peaking into abandoned classrooms here and there while also keeping an eye out for Filtch. Eventually, you find yourself outside of the castle and decide to go by the lake, you always wondered what it looked like at night. Walking around the lake at night is kinda creepy when you think about it but you also find it oddly calming. You don't stray too far away from the castle just in case you need to make a run for it, you find a tall oak tree and sit under it.

Lost in thought thinking about everything and nothing, you failed to hear the footsteps approaching you rather quickly.

"Good evening." A voice pulls you out of your thoughts, You look up and see it's the one and only Tom Riddle. He was hovering above you, his signature smirk on his face.

"Uh... hi Tom" You reply a little startled

"Why are you out here so late?" He asks calmly

"Oh um, no reason, I normally-" you say when something comes to mind "Hang on, aren't you a prefect?"

"I am." He says with a hint of arrogance and pride in his voice

"You're not gonna write me up are you?" You ask calmly but on the inside you're praying he'll cut you some slack.

"No, no I'm off duty right now." With a slight smirk on his face, he replied "I'm breaking curfew as well" he whispers almost playfully

You chuckle softly, feeling immediately relieved "Alright then... would you like to sit?"

He doesn't reply with words but with actions, he sits down next to you. Not too close but not too far, a respectable distance.

You and Tom weren't close by any means, you had only met this year in potions class. Tom being known as the introverted Slytherin who had a way with the teachers. You who laughed with your friends and wasn't an overachiever but still had good grades nonetheless. Slughorn decided to pair people who he thought would sort of yin Yang each other so that's why you two sat together.

Not speaking, you sat in awkward silence. The wind tussling the trees filling the air, the night got colder since you left your dorm, now you wished you had brought a jacket. You rub your hands up and down your arms trying to warm up

"Are you cold?" Tom asks noticing your slight shivering

"Kinda... yeah" you replied

"Here take my sweater" he said pulling off his grey cable knit sweater

"Oh you don't have to-"

"Just take it... please." He said the last part softer

He had a hard time controlling his temper at times, he was working on not letting little things get to him.

"Thank you." You softly smiled at him, a small silence falls over you two as you put on his sweater. Wanting the conversation to continue you ask, "Did you see professor Dumbledore's outfit today?"

The both of you engrossed yourselves in conversation for 15 minutes straight jumping from topic to topic. Once you started talking it felt like you had been talking to each other for years.

"And then I bit her." You admitted embarrassedly after telling him a story of an altercation you had with a girl a few years ago.

"You bit her?!?" Tom asks with a shocked expression

"I did, I didn't mean to it was just instinct I guess."

"Wow remind me never to do that to you" Tom laughs

"It was so embarrassing it keeps me up at night" you sigh as you remember the embarrassment. "Okay, I have to know something embarrassing about you now." You say trying to divert the attention off of you

"What? Why?" He says with a puzzled look

"I mean, it's only fair"

He sighs "Ok ok fine, umm... I haven't had my first kiss." He swallowed

"I'm being serious Tom." You chuckle not believing him for one second

"So am I." Tom said with a straight face

"Oh." Your laughter immediately stops

"Is that so surprising?" He asks, almost sounding irritated by your response

"Actually yes, yes it is" You stated

"How?" He was genuinely curious about what she thought of him

"I mean, I figured you would've had a girlfriend or something. Like you're attractive and not terribly hard to get along with." You laugh softly while explaining

He suppressed his smile before he spoke next to not let you know how much your words affect him.

"No, no girlfriend. It's not that I'm waiting or anything, the moment just hasn't come I guess. Sometimes I just want to get it over with"

A pause

"I'll do it." You speak, not knowing what came over you

"Excuse me?" He questioned

"I'll kiss you" you offer

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, friends help each other out, right? It's up to you" you say not wanting to push him into anything.

He wondered if he should or not, he always thought you beautiful. He never had the courage to talk to you until he was paired with you in potions. What if I suck at it? What if she doesn't like it and tells all her friends? He thought. No, stop you'll be fine just go for it.

"Okay" he replied

He said yes, he actually said yes. You didn't think he would actually say yes but he did. You were very thankful he did because that would've been embarrassing if he said no.

You scoot closer to him slightly to close the gap between you. You search his eyes trying to find any ounce of doubt, you felt butterflies as what was about to happen hits you completely.

"Ready?" You whisper

"Yeah" he whispers back flicking his eyes down at your lips then back to your gaze. Slowly moving his head forward.

Copying his motion you lean in. As your lips connect your eyes flutters closed, Tom brings his right hand up to gently cradle your face. Rhythmically you two move your mouths as one, in a sweet gentle kiss.

After a few seconds he pulls away, both of your faces feel red hot. Not sure what to do next Tom clears his throat and looks down at his watch.

"It's late... we should probably go back to the castle" he says

"Yeah you're right" you agree feeling embarrassed

Tom rises first, he offers you a hand. You hesitate a moment before accepting it, allowing him to pull you up. Tom hand lingers on yours for a second too long before releasing.

Walking side by side into the castle headed toward your dorm. Tom insisted on dropping you off. You both walked together in a thick silence.

Making it to your common room entrance, it's time to say goodnight.

"I had fun tonight" you spoke first

"Yeah I did too" he smiles very softly

"I uh, I guess this is Goodnight" you smile "Goodnight Tom"

"Goodnight Y/N"Tom turns around walking a few steps before you notice you still have on his sweater.

"Wait, Tom, your sweater." You call out to him

He turns to face her with that same small smile

"Keep it, it looks better on you."Tom walks away.

You smile to yourself and think to yourself I think I like Tom Riddle.

[gayerthanevertbh]

pretty when you cry.

pairings: natasha romanoff x fem!reader

n.r masterlist | navigation | n.r one-shots masterlist

summary: you and nastaha were once a happy couple, until she became a whole different person. 

warnings: extremely toxic!natasha, degrading, alcoholism, verbal abuse, cheating, pure angst - 18+ MINORS DNI.

author’s note: just did this anon request! hopefully you enjoy this!

Natasha was the ideal girlfriend. She was tenacious, loving, generous, and irresistibly romantic, among other qualities that are difficult to put into words. The redhead was everything through your mending heart during the first year of your relationship. She took you on daily dates, brought you flowers every week, took care of you whenever school got in the way, and would make love to you in your bed until the sun rose again. She took you to her favorite forest, where she had a small cabin in the middle of the woods, and you'd sometimes spend time alone with her there. You sighed at those happy memories, they were once good when she suddenly transforms into a completely different person.

"I'm going to the compound for a bit," Natasha murmured as she grabbed her coat and walked to the front door without looking over her shoulder or even kissing goodbye. "You don't need to cook dinner; Steve will do it anyway."

You only responded with a nod, knowing she wouldn't say anything else but leave the house. As soon as she was gone, you could feel your own tears streaming down your cheeks, not knowing when they would stop. The pain consumed you, the loneliness fed into your system, and the sense of betrayal lingered in your mind for a long time. One thing is certain: you're not sure if you still trust Natasha. Would you? She's been acting this way for nearly two years, so you're not sure if she's still faithful to you.

You'd like to believe she was still faithful.

When the sun goes down and the air becomes colder, you decide to go to bed early because you were expecting Natasha to be late. You were used to this routine because she was gone every night. She'd come home around midnight on occasion, but most of the time she'd return the next day but not sleep in the same bed as you. She'd either sleep in the other room or on the couch, drunk from the night before. Most of the time, she comes home and then goes out to drink with her friends. The Avengers were no longer her friends; they had turned against her because of everything she had done to you. You were constantly fighting, which caused the older woman to leave the house. And whenever you mentioned these fights to Sam, he'd always say, "I told you so, Y/n."

He was right, but you still had your hopes for your girlfriend.

Surprisingly, before you got to bed, Natasha came home early that night – not even intoxicated. She goes to the kitchen and pours herself some orange juice, while lighting a cigarette from her mouth. You leaned against the countertop and asked, “Why are you home early?”

The woman scoffed.

“Can I not be home early?”

“Of course you can,” you stated quietly under your breath, knowing that within the next few seconds she would be yelling at you. “I don’t know, it’s just that you are never home.”

“I got work, Y/n. I save people’s lives, I need a fucking break from all of this shit in my life.”

You are not saving our relationship.

Knowing that she was right for the whole time, you decided to end the conversation there by saying: “Okay, you’re right. I’m going to bed.”

But she didn’t stop there, she continued to speak.

“What have you been doing all day?” she asked, almost in a condescending tone. She swung the cigarette away from her lips, chuckling. “I bet you were just lying down in bed all day, expecting me to give you everything.”

“I work too, Nat,” you sighed, pressing your fingers onto your forehead. “I don’t want to fight, okay? Can't we just go to bed?”

“You’re avoiding this conversation.”

“That’s because I know what you’re going to say.”

“What do you want me to tell you, hm?” she takes a few steps closer to your frail body, looking down at you with so much power in her green eyes. You dared yourself not to gaze back at her, because if you did – you were doomed. “Look at me!”

“I can’t.” you whispered with a voice crack, causing her to groan.

"You're so difficult to talk to," she grumbled, hurling a glass against the wall, which splattered all over the floor, your body flinching at the harsh sound. She didn't bother to console you, and she was even moved by the sound of your whimper. "You little bitch, don't cry at me. You expect me to give you everything you fucking want?!"

“I don’t even ask for anything anymore, Natasha!” you yelled back at her, wiping the tears away using the back of your hand. “We barely talk! Do you expect me to ask something from you when we don’t even communicate?”

“But that’s what you are, a greedy bitch!”

You let out a painful sob as the sound of her voice and the use of her words made your knees weaken. She's been calling you these things lately. You tried your hardest to remain strong, but it eventually caught up with you. It really does.

"I-" you stammered, afraid to look into her angry eyes. She was breathing heavily through her nose, pleading with you to speak up. “I don’t want to fight, please.”

"You keep avoiding this type of shit," she said vaguely. "Whenever I called you out, you'd tell me to go to bed. Y/n, I'm not a fucking kid. "I'm an adult!"

“Then act like one!”

Natasha raises her hand to strike you as you close your eyes, but she stops. She looked at you for a moment before dropping her hand, noticing that she was completely unaware of what she was doing, despite the fact that she wasn't drunk. She sighed as she pinched her nose bridge, mumbling: “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

"Whatever," you replied, walking back to your room and closing the bedroom door behind you. You cried yourself to sleep that night, knowing that you would have to leave her at any moment.

What happened to us?

The next few days were crucial. You and Natasha never discussed that night, and she never intended to. You were fine with the idea because it was just another way to avoid a fight, but you also wanted your girlfriend back to the way she used to be. Despite your optimism, you were beginning to give up. You had a strong feeling she would never return. She'll stay this way forever.

For some ethical reason, you took a visit to the compound, finding out if Natasha was there or not. When Tony let you in, you were surprised that she wasn’t there. Huh, you thought. Where has she gone?

“She’s not here, Y/n,” said Tony from behind. “She uhm… left somewhere.”

You turned over your shoulder, giving him a frown. What did he mean by that exactly?

“Can you tell me where she is?”

"I'm not sure if I should," he admitted, his face flushed. He rested both of his hands on his waist, still debating whether or not to tell you. He continued, “I think you’ll be very angry if I–”

Steve speaks up, his arm crossed. “You should tell her, Tony. She is entitled to know.”

"But Natasha is our family," he said. Were you also not family? His words pierced your heart, as if a knife had been thrust through it. “She’ll be very upset.”

"We've been upset with your girlfriend for a long time," the old man sighed, leaning uncomfortably against the wall. You sat down on the stool, silently requesting that he continue. "She's been cold with us, and there's something you should know before it's too late."

"I'm sorry," Tony apologizes to you. You could tell he was sincere because his eyes weren't looking back at you, and you already knew where this was going. "I'm sorry for disappointing you, sweetheart."

“Tell me what’s going on.” you whispered in final, hearing Steve breathe deeply.

"Natasha has been flirting with one of our young recruits for the past year," Steve said, his head low. "But she's gone now because Natasha asked her to. We couldn't get a hold of her, but she had every right to leave. She had no idea Natasha had a girlfriend, which made her very upset. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be mad at the girl, but that’s what happened.”

You have known this from the very beginning; all you needed to do was stop wishing that Natasha would change into a better person. There was a mixture of anger and sadness in your throat, and you didn't care much if you cried in front of them.

"Oh," you murmured, unsure what to say next..

“I know this is very hard for you, and I’m sorry that you had to hear it this way. You deserve to know what she has been doing, Y/n.”

“Did they ever had sex?”

Steve shrugged. “I’m not too sure about that, but maybe they have.”

"They probably did," Tony says. "Natasha is family, but we don't support her actions. We all know how much she loves you, but I don’t think she’s right for you.”

"That is certainly a wake-up call," you sniffled, wiping your tears away with the back of your hand. "I had a feeling she'd do something like this, let alone fuck them. I'm not sure if there are any more girls. I just…”

I just want to love you again, but I don’t know how.

You were disgusted by the thought of Natasha fucking another girl. Were you not providing her with the satisfaction she required? Most importantly, what happened to you? You had a feeling you were the source of the problem, but you couldn't hurt Natasha in this way - it was too much.

All you know is that you wanted to leave her, you didn’t care if she cheated on you, you just wanted to stay away from her presence.

“I’m going home then,” you stood up from the stool as you walked towards the front door, giving them a small smile from your lips. “I’ll see you when I’m around.”

You quickly left the compound and returned home with a scream, throwing vases around the living room area as you reflected on the times Natasha had degraded you as a person, doing infidelity scenarios behind your back, doing the things you were supposed to do with her without your presence. You returned to your old bedroom with her as you packed your belongings, leaving the jewelry she had given you as well as the books she had also given you. You had enough of her horrible behavior; you were done being hers.

Natasha returned home a few hours later, with broken glasses all over the floor, ruined picture frames from the wall, and the bedroom thrashed with pure rage. When she looked at you, you were sitting on the ground, and she already knew what was going on - she was just too embarrassed to admit it.

You muttered to yourself, your eyes getting heavy, “You finally came home.”

She asked with a choking sound in her voice, “Did they tell you?”

“They told me everything.”

“Can we talk about it?” she asked, her voice becoming softer as she looked at you.

“If you're willing to change,” you said so bitterly that you didn't recognize yourself. “If you're willing to give up the girls you've been messaging.”

“I will,” she rushed onto her knees and embraced you, kissing your collarbone. But this did not seem to have much of an effect on you, as you continued to have a trusting nature toward the woman who has caused you god knows how many problems. “I promise I will, okay?" I'm sorry, baby. I'm truly sorry. I didn't intend for this to happen.”

You nodded, your nails digging through her jacket, wishing that you could die today without being hers. But if you didn't have her, then who were you to begin with?

“I know,” you patted her back as you felt her lips lightly brush against your skin. “I know, don’t worry.”

Natasha was only perfect for a week before returning to her old routine after convincing you to stay. She was out of the house once more, drinking until she passed out on the road, then texting a girl on her phone with no shame. You were sick of her by this point. You were tired of being her partner in everything, of being her individual. Heck, she never asked you to marry her, so you weren’t that serious for Natasha. You felt lonelier and lonelier, until you were consumed by the thought of being a bad person for leaving her again.

But you knew tonight was the night of leaving, and Natasha had to just take the fact about it.

The redhead came home around midnight – as expected – and sat down with you, surprisingly kissing your knuckles. But you pulled away instantly, disgusted by her. She frowned.

“What’s wrong? I’m trying to be affectionate here.”

“I saw you texting another girl.”

She laughed, scratching her nose. “I was texting Maria about the mission, that’s all.”

“Maria isn’t named Angela,” you pointed out with a dead pan look on your face. “You don’t talk sex with Maria, you also don’t text her about it. So why would Maria be in your favorites then?”

Natasha sighed, cupping her face as she could feel irritation boiling through her veins.

“Y/n, I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s always that,” you chuckled with sarcasm, standing up from the table as you picked up your duffel bag from the kitchen floor. Natasha raised her chin, noticing that you were holding two bags. She gulped and stood up slowly, trying to hold your face. “Don’t touch me, I’m leaving you.”

“I know I’m stupid, okay? And I'm sorry,” her voice was pleading, and you were sick of hearing it. She pulls you into a hug before shoving her away from your tired body, marching you to the front door until she blocks your path. “I love you, I’m still in love with you! Don’t leave me, please. Baby, don’t.”

“Move out my way, Romanoff.”

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she chanted, her cold hands meeting your arms and stroking your skin as tears streamed down her cheeks. Her pupils were bloodshot. “I’m just going through something right now, I’m sorry. Please, my love, stay. Don’t go, don’t leave…”

You sobbed loudly, stomping your foot on the ground pitifully. “God damn it, Natasha! You always do this! You only tell me you love me the minute I’m leaving you, and it makes me feel tired! I’m tired of you, don’t you understand that?”

“Sweetheart–”

“I’m tired of your mess, you picking up a fight, degrading me as if I’m stupid, and making me feel foolish too! I’m tired of you cheating on me, not spending time with me, choosing a girl over me, and everything else you have done! So please, spare me some remorse and let me leave you!”

“I can’t!” she screams, rubbing her eyes furiously. “I can’t, okay? I need you here with me! Through thick and thin, remember? I will move heaven and earth for you–”

“Do not even do that.”

"I love you so much," she said softly, pecking your lips. You let her kiss you because you knew it was the last time she'd kiss you. “I want everything from you, including your love. I promise to change, okay? I’ll stop drinking, I’ll stop it all! Just don’t leave me, baby… don’t leave.”

You pushed her chest away with all of your might, crying in front of her, feeling defeated once again. You looked at her for one last time before saying, “If I see you change, I will decide if I should take you back or not. But if you don’t, expect me to never see you again.”

You parted ways with her that evening, walking to the bus stop while simultaneously texting your mother to tell her that you'd soon be moving in with her after a separation of five painful years. During the night, Natasha let out all of her pent-up emotions, finally acknowledging the magnitude of what she had lost. She took a broken picture frame, memorizing your face as if it were the last time she looked at you. She smiled brokenly and kissed the picture, whispering for you to come back.

I’m sorry.

Are you?

TEN MONTHS LATER.

“So, when’s the baby shower?”

Your sister smiled happily at you as you rubbed her swollen stomach, amazed with the idea of a woman carrying a child. You sometimes thought about having one, but that was a long time ago. You continued to rub her rounded stomach, smiling fondly at it.

“Probably next week since James is still finding a crib for the baby,” she sighed, smiling down at you. “Are you excited to meet your niece?”

“Of course,” you responded with a grin. “Are you excited to be a mother?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

You were washing the dishes while your sister, Alica, was sleeping in her bedroom because you both ate lunch. While your father was at work, your mother was at the farm. You enjoyed being at home again, finally leaving the city and returning to the rural town where you grew up. When you peeked out the window, you noticed an unusual car going to the gravel and abruptly stopping. At first, you couldn't believe what you saw.

Natasha stepped out of the car with sunglasses on and a leather jacket slung over her shoulder. You felt your breath hitch from the sight of her, unsure whether you should leave or not. But before you could, Natasha knocked on your front door.

Don’t open the door.

Oh, but you did.

Her eyes and her glowing face greeted you. She smiled warmly at you while lowering her head, scared to gaze further into your eyes.

"How did you find out about me?" you inquired, looking around to see if anyone else was nearby.

"I came to get you back again," she said confidently. "Y/n, I want you back. I'd like to get you back again."

You crossed your arms at her and asked, "Look me in the eyes and say it."

That she did. Natasha smiled as she took your hand in hers and brought it close to her lips. She stroked your skin gently, moving your hand into her hair. You sighed contentedly, knowing that this was the Natasha you remembered.

"I stopped drinking and left the compound," she admitted. "Right now, I live in an apartment; I sold the house we used to live in because I don't see the point in me staying there. But I saved our photos on my wall, as well as the mugs you gave me every month."

You laughed, recalling the times you used to give her odd mugs.

"And I, uh, brought a ring with me so that I could ask you to marry me."

Your eyes widen as she pulls a black box from her pocket, opening the cover to reveal a little diamond heart in the center of the ring, glittering beyond your vision. You looked up briefly at her, taken in by the situation.

"Natasha, what-"

"Marry me?" She breathes out, her forehead pressed against yours as she inhaled your scent. "Oh, God, marry me Y/n. Make me the happiest woman alive, and I swear I'm changed. I'm ready to be with you again and finish our story. Accept and adore me once more. Because, lovely girl, I can't live without you. I can't live without my girl."

You lifted her chin and smiled, tears on the brim of your eyelids as you closed your lips together. When she eventually kissed you again, you felt her tongue caressing your bottom lip, almost falling to the ground. You drew back, your thumb caressing her cheek, and nodded joyfully.

"Yes, I will marry you, Natasha Romanoff."

You moved back in with Natasha in New York, and lived with her with the happiest decision of your life.

A HAPPY ENDING?! YAAAY

[808airsoftbros]

Missing 411 (Female Idols)

Author: This special chapter is also posted on my wattpad and decided to post it here too to help revive this dead Tumblr account. Also if you want to see more check out the Masterlist.

Y/N's POV

It's been ten years since that stormy night... Where everything went to hell... Awakened something that was never supposed to be in this world. What is it? We will never truly know and perhaps it's for the best.

Now you all must be asking what I'm talking about. I don't know much since I'm a foreign government agency from America to help with the Korean National Police Agency.

All these accounts and stories are based on reports filed by the KNPA, witnesses, and survivors of their encounters with this... thing.

I cannot disclose everything as this case is classified and under investigation by the Republic of Korea National Military and the National Intelligence Service.

It all began ten years ago on August 19, 2019, when a massive typhoon struck the Korean peninsula turning Seoul into a rubble mess than ever in history.

Everything was in total devastation, small businesses, and homes were destroyed, and families pretty much lost everything so much so that even K-pop idols began lending a hand, and those who were on tour or elsewhere donated money.

I will start with the first case... The unsolved case of the disappearance of Jennie Kim and Jeon Jungkook...

~

Flashback

Date: August 21, 2019 Location: Seoul, South Korea

Jisoo's POV

It's been two days since the massive typhoon struck the city of Seoul, I was in the safety of the dorm when it struck and thankfully nothing was damaged or lost but the same cannot be said for the unlucky ones.

Some were caught in a bad time and the street vendor's property has been damaged beyond repair including those I always visit.

"I can't believe mother nature is capable of such devastation..." I muttered looking at the rubble of fallen trees, flipped cars, and broken street lamps.

"Well, that's nature for you, come on, those people need all the help they can get," Chaeyoung replied and I nodded.

Walking around the streets, determined to help those in need as much as possible, other idols have joined us in our efforts helping where they can, and offering assistance to the rescue operatives.

The streets were flooded in some areas, especially the underground parking lots, the sewer systems were overflowed and clogged causing the sewages to flood the streets.

Everyone worked hard to guide the survivors to shelter camps to tend to the wounded and sick. My arms and legs ached like hell but if it's for the people, I must keep going.

"Jake said this is all we can do for now until firefighters and Coast Guard crews clear up the debris in the heavily impacted parts, I'd say we take a break," I explained to the girls and they nodded.

As we sat down under the shelter camp, we saw BTS covered in mud and sweat approaching, they all looked equally exhausted and worn out.

"Ah, I see you boys managed to make it, I thought you all were on a tour," I greeted and Namjoon chuckled.

"Hey, this city is our home, we can't just simply watch by as the people suffer. We lend our hand wherever we can," Namjoon replied.

"Right, there are so many children lost from their parents, I heard some of them didn't make it out," Jennie mentioned and he sighed.

"Real shame, I pity those poor souls, nobody could've expected a typhoon like this, throughout my years, I have never seen anything like this," Jungkook commented.

As the boys joined us under the tent, Taehyung was kind enough to give us water to quench our thirst, and I couldn't feel more relief as I sipped down the water.

Suddenly, Jungkok and Jennie stood up but before they could walk away from the tent I stopped them.

"Hey, where are you two going?" I asked curiously.

"I overheard there are some cabins in the woods, possible someone could've been sheltering there during the storm and will see if we can help or not," Jungkook answered and I nodded.

"Alright, be safe out there," I warned them and they nodded.

"Don't worry Jichu, we're always careful~," Jennie assured and walked away with him.

Though I had a bad feeling about it, I shrugged it off as I didn't have much time to think about it as the fire chief called us over requesting our assistance with the water pumps.

In the next several hours as the sun was starting to set and dusk was approaching, however, Jennie and Jungkook had yet to return.

"Hey, you heard from Kookie any chance?" I asked Jin and he shrugged.

"No idea, no call on the radio or anything, I was about to ask you," Jin answered unsurely and I was growing concerned.

Deciding to investigate the cabins as a group, we went to their last known location which is the cabins in the woods, we kept our guard up for any wild animals that may loom in the area, and as we reached the cabins, I felt dread as the cabins were dead quiet.

Looking around, there was no sign of any wild animals or birds in the trees anywhere and the area wasn't as damaged as the rest of the forest.

"I don't like the looks of this..." Suga commented.

"Yeah, it's too quiet for my liking, I feel like something is gonna pounce on us at any second," Hoseok replied.

"Let's make this fast and find those two before it gets dark," Namjoon said and we agreed.

Immediately, we began searching the cabins and the surrounding nature but as time went on, we couldn't find a single trace of them anywhere or signs of life.

I was now growing even more worried as they somehow disappeared like they never existed... Until...

"Hey, I think I found something!" Lisa called out and we went up to her.

"What is it?" I asked.

Lisa showed us Jennie's phone and wallet along with Jungkook's wallet containing his bank cards and IDs inside one of the bedrooms in the cabin.

"Is there anything else?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Nope, not any sign of footprints or traces, it's like they vanished like a ghost," She sighed and looked at the time it was getting dark.

"Will report this to the police when we get back, for now, there's nothing more we can do for them until morning, it's too dangerous to search at night," Namjoon explained and I felt devastated.

"W-We can't just abandon them, they're like family to us," I begged and he shook his head.

"I understand how you feel, Jisoo, and I feel the same way for Kookie but will be no good to anyone if we're attacked by predators," He replied in a sympathetic tone.

Reluctantly agreeing, I felt shameful and guilty as I felt like I had to abandon Jennie as she could be seriously injured or God knows what I knew Namjoon was right but it was my fault for letting them go in the first place.

"I should've stopped them..." I muttered to myself as we left the cabins.

~

Present

Y/N's POV

Since then, the group went to the nearby police station which was still intact, and reported a missing person case, a search was later held the next morning but despite their best efforts, no traces were ever found besides their wallets and Jennie's phone.

We couldn't turn it on as the screen was cracked and it was damaged but we did manage to extract the data but found nothing out of the ordinary.

The search went on for some time until...

~

Date: August 30, 2019 Location: Seoul, South Korea

Y/N's POV

Arriving in Korea at the airport, I was greeted by one of the agents of the NIS and he drove me over to the police station in Seoul.

"So, I was told I would be briefed on this investigation, what do we have?" I asked.

"Well, two idols vanished without a trace just a week ago when they were helping clean up the city after the typhoon hit, they went up to the cabin area in the forest but never returned and the group decided to investigate themselves to find nothing but few of their belongings," The agent explained and I nodded writing them down in my notepad.

"I see, what about the search party? Any news?" I asked and he nodded.

"After several days of searching, we did find their remains... It's quite a grizzly and disturbing sight, to say the least, and it's hard to describe it so it's better if you look at them yourself," He answered.

The rest of the drive was silent as we went into Seoul giving me the chance to look around at the devastation the typhoon had caused and it was surreal than the pictures on the news.

Once we finally made it to the station, I walked through the backdoor leading downstairs to the evidence lab, and I was led into the forensics lab.

One of the experts bowed before leading me into the lab, laying on the operation table were the bodies of Jeon Jungkook and Jennie Kim and my eyes widened as it looked like their souls were sucked out of them.

They were skinny to the bone, there was no blood within them, and they looked almost skeletal making this the most disturbing case I've ever worked in.

"What the hell happened to them...?" I asked shocked at the sight.

"We're not sure, we ran all the tests in the book but found nothing out of the ordinary or pointers of how they died, no wounds, scratches, nothing, just their souls sucked out dry," The expert explained grimly.

~

Meanwhile...

Jisoo's POV

I couldn't sleep well ever since Jennie's disappearance, we always missed her and it didn't help that the police already found her dead body not far from the cabins along with Jungkook.

YG and BigHit sent condolences letters to their families and the funerals were held as soon as the rubbles were cleared from parts of the city.

Their remains were cremated to ashes with Jennie to be sent home to New Zealand in her hometown and Jungkook to the family cemetery.

"O comforting One, compassionate One be with us all when we suffer loss and ache with the pain of grieving. Give us a glimpse of the way it will be when love will never be taken away, when life itself will not be diminished when all that we hold most precious will live and remain with us forever. Amen." The priest said his prayer as the urn of the ashes of Jungkook was slowly lowered into the hole dug before his gravestone.

The funeral was small only consisting of myself, Lisa, and Chaeyoung, along with BTS and Twice who had just returned from their tour, and of course Jungkook's family.

To this day, I still feel guilty as I could've stopped this all from happening, now two idols were lost to the Heavens, and everyone grieved their deaths.

Jin who would always boast about being flirty and ladies man was now all silent, I can tell the loss of what he considered a brother deeply affected him.

"T-Thank you for coming, Jihyo, I didn't think you'd show up," I thanked her and she nodded.

"Hey, this is more important than our idol lives, I knew them both and they were quite exceptional and talented individuals, it's a shame they went out like this," Jihyo replied and I sighed.

"Are you okay?" She asked conerningly.

"No, not really, I could've prevented this from happening, Jennie and Jungkook would still be alive if I hadn't stopped them from going to the woods alone... I'm such an idiot..." I grimly answered and shed a tear as the guilt became too much to bear.

Instead of an angry reaction, as I expected, Jihyo gave me a sympathetic look and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"It's not your fault, my dear, none of us expected anything like this would happen," She assured and I sighed.

"Speaking of which, they never disclosed their cause of death nobody knows what happened to them, they found no wounds or indication of how they died considering they were young and healthy at the time," I mentioned.

"Well, all we can do is leave it to the authorities to handle this, I am confident they will find a trail eventually and we can soon get to the bottom of this and hope Jennie and Jungkook will be the last victims of this mess," She explained and I nodded knowing she was right.

After the funeral was finished, we all left for our vehicles, our driver picked us up and drove us back to the YG building as we needed to discuss some things about our upcoming comeback.

We headed to the top floor of the building where YG's office was located and knocked on the door.

"Come in!" He called out and we opened the door.

"Please have a seat you three, we have urgent matters to discuss," He instructed and we sat down in front of him and he sighed.

"As you all may know, Jennie was found dead, now not only has this heavily saddened the Blinks and fans around the world, but it also hurts our business as our comeback is scheduled to release soon, and without Jennie to finish her lines, we might have to cancel it and start from scratch without her or one of you will have to take her place," He explained.

"Sir, are you going to find a trainee to debut and replace her...?" Chaeyoung asked and he shook his head.

"Not anytime soon, none of the trainees so far have the skills or talent or experience like hers to substitute her absence and this will surely tank the reviews and our income, that is why I'm asking you all what you wish to do at this time," YG explained and we pondered.

As we all discuss among ourselves how we're going to finish this comeback or if will just cancel it entirely, I cannot help but feel like I'm being watched, and when I glanced out the window my eyes widened as I saw... Jennie standing on a platform...

She was unrecognizable, her body was skinny to the bone, her eyes were white and her skin was pale like she was a ghost, and was staring directly at me.

"Jichu...? Are you okay?" Lisa asked waving her hand across my face snapping me out of my trance.

"H-Huh?" I stammered as I regained my senses and when I looked out the window all I saw was the cleaner wiping down the windows.

"Is there a problem, Miss Jisoo?" YG asked.

"N-No, sir, I'm fine... Just tired is all..." I nervously replied and he nodded.

"Alright, how about this? I'll leave you all to rest for the day, and by tomorrow you all can come into my office with your final decision, is that okay with you all?" YG asked and we nodded.

As we are dismissed from leaving the YG entertainment building, we head over to the dormitory to gather our thoughts and hopefully my sanity as I feel nothing but dread.

There is much pressure added to us now that Jennie is gone and Rose and Lisa were thinking about splitting the extra work evenly but that will be difficult as fans will feel disappointed about the comeback without her.

That night, my sleep was anything but peaceful, I woke up in a grassy land, and there in front of me was Jennie wearing a white dress and Jungkook wearing a black tuxedo. They were both warmly smiling as if nothing ever happened.

"K-Kookie? Jen? What are you two doing here?" I nervously asked.

"Hello, Jichu... We are waiting for you..." Jungkook spoke but his voice sounded off.

"We are waiting for you Jichu, join us... And you will be free of guilt..." Jennie spoke up.

Without warning, I woke up panting out of breath, I was covered in sweat trying to figure out what I just dreamt of but I didn't get a chance when I heard strange crackling noises like bones cracking.

I looked around, my stomach dropped seeing what appeared to be Jennie in that same white dress walking disfigured to the front entrance.

"J-Jennie... Is that you?" I softly called out as I got out of bed.

Quickly I got dressed in casual attire grabbed a black mask so nobody knows my identity and followed Jennie out of the dorm quietly without waking up Lisa and Chaeyoung.

I followed Jennie around the city which was strangely quiet and desolated as people are superstitious about walking at night, but I can't help wondering why Jennie was walking so awkwardly like some of her bones are broken or worn.

Eventually, she led me to what appeared to be an abandoned mine long forgotten to time.

"Why the hell is she going to a mine...?" I asked myself as I watched her from the distance in the bushes.

All of a sudden, the entrance of the mineshaft was glowing crimson red yet Jennie continued walking but she stopped right at the entrance and came out of what seemed to be what I describe as the gate to hell.

Coming out of the entrance was Jungkook in that same black tuxedo from my dream but his eyes were anything but normal as it was all white, he reached out his hand and Jennie took it before walking together through the mineshaft entrance.

"Dear Lord you are our shepherd and defender please protect me from all evil..." I prayed as I decided it was time to leave.

I continued repeating the prayer all the way back to the city and I saw some planks on the ground and decided to seal off the entrance to the best of my ability.

After the work was done, I ran the hell out of the forest as fast as I could until I reached the safety of the city and the dorm.

What I witness is just something I cannot explain nor could anyone and I do not want to go near that God forsaken mine ever again.

~

Present

Y/N's POV

And that is the end of the story of what the people and the authorities know... However, what Jisoo said in the interview isn't exactly clear and straight-up bullocks to most.

The military dispatched a company of soldiers to investigate the mine and sealed off the area with electric fences and barbed wire to keep everyone out... Or something in.

I don't know what the military is doing at those mineshafts to this day as the reports are all classified and they want nobody going in there.

Jennie and Jungkook were declared dead after their bodies were found but idols do report seeing them at night or in their dreams similar to Jisoo.

Sadly... Those two would not be the only missing victims...

[jamneuromain]

Another Man's Poison Part 1

Curtis Everett x You

Warning: 18+, Multiple prompts: A/B/O; “Show me.” + Frightened + Cabin in the woods, Shifter!Curtis Everett, Shifter!Reader, discussion of the transformation ritual and prima nocta, poisoning, mentioning of the results of poisoning. Less than decent parents. Grumpy Curtis in general.

Summary: You have accidentally come across a scheme that could shatter your shifter clan and your life. Unable to think of any way to stay away from this catastrophe, you turn to Curtis for help.

W/C: ~2.2k

A/N: the third entry to for this amazing event organized by @stargazingfangirl18 and @labella420 <3 (I thought I could finish it by 5.4, but alas my muse is behind me - and to be fair it's a large story I suspect it will go 6k in total so I'm dividing it into two parts ... or three, depends.

Part 2 | One Man's Meat M. List

It is a pretty bitchy thing to do, you suppose, pranking on someone else. But you can't help it if - which in fact, indeed happened - that sneaky bitch Margo smeared red paint on your pants during the painting lesson and made it look like your period was a massive flood. You are getting your payback one way or another, and what better way is there than to put dead lizards into her bed?

Margo, just in case anyone within the thirty miles premises doesn't know her already, is the cheer leading captain of the Ridgemount High, which obviously has given her every right to bully other people.

To you, she is the daughter of the second-in-command of your shifter pack. She somehow believed herself to be the future pack leader, terrorizing and threatening any younger pack members who refuse to do her biddings.

She's 19, by the way. Same as you, in the senior year of high school.

Back to the subject.

Payback.

You collected a bag of dead lizards from the forest this morning. Holding the bag in your hand, you sneak near Margo's house as subtle as possible, walking on tip toes just so you wouldn't make a noise. The grown wolves of this pack could hear a branch snap a mile away, which is why you have to be quiet.

Maybe Lady Luck has been on your side, for the small venture towards Margo's house has been uneventful. You picked the time knowing precisely that most of the shifters are gathering at Paul's, where they will be discussing the upcoming transformation ceremony for the shifters who have come of the age 19 this year to transform, first time ever in their lives, into their wolf form under the moon. That would include you, Margo, and the Maximoff twins.

You are going to enter the house via the backdoor when you hear three men talking inside.

"... the best time to attack would be the ceremony," says one of the men. By the sound of his voice, you believe he is Margo's brother Halden, "He would never see this coming."

"He thought he was tired," sounding like Paul's younger brother Sam, sniggers another, "He doesn't suspect a thing other than his old age. By the way, great idea, the wolfsbane."

The wolfsbane is one of the deadliest plants known to you wolf shifters. What the hell are they planning? You cover your mouth not to make a sound, but you press your ear closer to the door.

"Paul would be in his weakness form on the night of the full moon." The third one joins the conversation, "I will challenge him then. He will lose fair and square. And nothing, I mean nothing will stop me from becoming the Alpha of this pack."

Fuck. It's an uprising. Your heart beats like the rhythm of war drums. The third one seems like Margo's father Jason. No wonder Margo has always held her head high like she was going to own the pack.

"When I'm in charge," huffing out an evil laugh, Jason continues, "I'm restoring prima nocta."

You have heard about prima nocta, a habit dying out decades ago. It was first initiated for the need of the leader of the pack, also known as pack Alpha, to pick the best and suiting female, his true mate, to bear his pups. But the "first-night" habit died out because female shifters would writher fairly quickly without the love and adoration after connecting to Alpha, since true mates are rather rare, and as shifter packs welcomed the more acceptable way of entering relationships like regular humans, "prima nocta" no longer exists except for some rare closed-off packs.

The three men share their visions of the sick and twisted ruling of this pack, but the thought of being owned and taken by a shifter twice your age has you nearly hurling your guts out.

The men plans a few more items before the sound of a loud slap makes you shudder. "I said Show me, goddammit!" Yells Jason, "I need to see the moon calendar!"

As they continue to plot and scheme against the pack Alpha Paul, you retreat in small steps. And you run. You run as fast as you could, far away from the house.

"So what do you need me for?" Asks Curtis, when he pours more chamomile tea into the porcelain mug in front of you.

Curtis joined the Wilford clan several years ago as a part-time doctor and a full-time herbologist. The Wilford clan needs access to fresh herbs, and your clan lacks a shifter doctor, hence, both clans have cut a deal.

Curtis would help diagnose and treat illness for your clan, and he could wander in your clan's mountains to harvest a patch of herbs he grows. In return, these herbs could be used by the Wilford clan as well.

Curtis has known both your clans well enough as an outsider who lives on the border of the two clans.

Your nails pick on the edge of the scorching mug nervously, as you truly have nowhere else to turn to, "My parents were on board with the uprising, as were a couple of families ... so I fled. And I'm not a wolf ... not yet, until the ceremony. I also know that Jason would claim every female wolf of age..." A bile of vomit rises to your throat at the thought, "Can you help me? To delay the transformation?" You look up at Curtis, hopefully, at the silent young shifter that has drifted from one clan to another. Rumor has it that he finished the transformation ceremony without the help of a clan, which is an utter rarity in the history of shifters.

Curtis scratches his eyebrows and hums, neither confirming nor denying your plea. His eyes stopped meeting yours upon hearing your request, sipping on his tea silently.

"I just need another moon cycle to figure out how I can run away from them. And find another clan." You ramble on, uncertain why you share your plan with a member of a foreign clan, especially someone who could possibly rat you out, as you barely know him, but you ramble on, "By the next full moon, I would be transforming into a wolf in another clan. That's plausible, right?"

Curtis finally glances at you. His brows furrow into a tight knot over his cerulean eyes, deadpans, "It's not that simple."

"But you have done it." You blurt out, clinging to your last line of hope, "They told me that you have transformed without a pack."

Curtis shakes his head, standing from his chair to boil water on the stove, clearly not willing to proceed on this topic further.

"Have you tried warning Paul Deckard? The ceremony is in two days." He checks the moon calendar on the wall.

"I -"

Truth is, you haven't.

Paul might not be the best pack Alpha in the world. He relies on Margo's family way too much and allows Jason and Halden to have their way with the pack already. You doubt telling Paul would make much difference, and it sure doesn't seem like Paul could outnumber so many families at the same time. Not to mention the wolfsbane poison could slowly drive him mad.

If you have to confess, you haven't thought about warning Paul at all, after learning your parents' intention of joining the uprising.

You were busy thinking about yourself. And your future. And whether you could live all by yourself.

And you instantly thought about Curtis.

"Okay." Curtis sighs heavily, dragging the chair across the table closer to you, before plopping down, "Clearly, you don't know the ceremony enough to ask me a dumb question like this."

"But -"

Curtis doesn't give you time to argue, he just continues on his own, "The moon calendar is precisely calculated so that the ceremony is at a night when the lunar power is at its peak. You miss this moon, you can't get it for another year."

"I -"

"Don't get me started on the postpone bullshit." He snaps at you, making you shudder involuntarily at his fist banging on the table, to which his voice lowers by a little, "It's risky as hell to cut yourself off from the lunar power. The Alpha in Dakota drank some wrong potion and cut himself from the lunar power and his wolf, guess what?"

"What?" You weakly offer.

"He splits his wolf spirit from his own." Curtis mocks with a cold sneer, "His pack has to put him under a mental facility, and now all he does is walk on all fours and sniff around like a dog. And before you ask," Curtis glares at your lips, when you are tempted to speak, "no, he cannot transform to his wolf form. Not now, not ever, not even the day he dies."

"One of the reason that the ceremony has to perform with the full pack," He adds, standing up to get the screeching kettle from the stove, pouring more hot water to the tea pot, "is to have the pack's mental energy concentrated on smoothing the transformation. When you turn wolf for the first time," Curtis sighs loudly, pouring himself a cup of tea, "You get your wolf spirit and your wolf form in a few seconds. It's easy to feel scared, different, angry, confused, a bucket full of emotions all at the sametime, and it is not easy to control your wolf without the psychic link of the pack, without the familiarity of your families. That's the reason why solo transformation ceremony is highly discouraged."

Chamomile tea is supposed to be soothing, but all you feel right now is bitter remorse of seeking for Curtis' help. You bite back the tears prickling your eyes, unsure why you came to him at the first place when all he does is dismantle your plan into a pile of turd.

"You are saying, there's no way that -" You take a long inhale, keeping yourself calm as much as possible. Yet, on the thought of you and a bunch of girls being the sex slaves of Jason has your tears bursting out of your sockets, streaming down your cheek.

The humiliation, the regret, and the embarrassment knock your brain out cold, and all you could do is to wipe the tears off your face with the back of your hand.

Curtis sighs one more time, before handing you a box of Kleenex.

You refuse it, though, pushing the tissues away and standing abruptly from your chair. "I'm sorry. This is a bad idea." You keep crying and sobbing, and wiping your tears, walking towards the door, "I understand now. I'll be out of your hair."

Curtis clenches his jaw out of ... mixed feelings, he guess. What a stubborn little pup you are, dreaming of delaying the transformation to escape the evil clutches of Jason.

It is inevitable, really, as pack leaders emerge every two or three decades, as the older Alpha weakens from disease and age, while younger Alpha emerges from their transformation ceremonies, and takes over. Sometimes it is a smooth transition of power, other times it could turn out like Jason and Paul, poisoning and scheming.

On a completely irrelevant note, he has to do this. To lend you a hand. A, Curtis isn't a complete bastard, despite what Wilford, the kind and loving Alpha, keeps telling others. And B, ... well, he'd rather not mention the second reason.

But he's not going to stand by and watch you risk your lives either, yours and your wolf's.

He runs his hand down his face, dashing forward and blocking the only exit out of this house because he could. Blocking your chance of running away because he doesn't want you to. And sighs again.

He has probably used up the annual quotation of his sighing.

"Stop." He growls.

It's an Alpha command. A voice that compells low-ranking shifters. It works better with blood ties and mating bonds, ordering the low-ranking ones to obey and deliver what the Alpha wants. It is cruel, that one stronger Alpha could command a weaker Alpha, or weak-minded shifters. He has thought about commanding Jason and Sam to stop, but he doubts it could work, as they could very well tear his throat before Curtis could say anything.

He hates issuing it, on another level. Just like how he hates it when he issued a command to Wilford years ago, ordering the pack Alpha to permit him to stay. Curtis has the power and the strength to be an Alpha. But he hates it. He hates it when his father Alpha-commanded his mother and his younger siblings to do dirty deeds for the Everett pack. Which was why he ran, and initiated the transformation ceremony on his own.

Yet he does it now, just so you might stay.

And you did. You don't know why you did. Your body responded to his words faster than your brain could proceed. Your steps freeze in their tracks, your shoulders shivering, afraid yet submissive to the natural command of an Alpha.

Curtis crosses his arms in utter annoyance and defeat. There is only one way that he know of, that could provide a safe transformation ceremony with less shifters involved.

If he tread carefully, it might work.

Might.

Sneak Peek for Part 2:

Your body can feel it. It is being called to at a wrong time, a wrong place. The moon is dropping low by the second and the right time has passed. The right time was hours ago.

Thirty minutes until the moon descends completely, and you have to get the wolf out.

Curtis paces around you.

"Sit down, will you? It's not like my wolf is counting your steps and waiting for the right number." You snap at him, despite knowing that you have dragged him into this mess in the first place. A little snarl slips out of your lips. Your wolf spirit is awakening, but not quite yet. Not quite there to unleash your wolf form.

Curtis has his gaze zeroing on you. His eyes narrow for a split second before pushing two words out of his clenched teeth:

"Excuse me?"

Find my Cum Together Trifecta here 👈

Questions? Comments? Requests? 👉Send them to my inbox 👂

A/N2: sorry in advance, but I have come across a hilarious screenshot of a show and I believe - I'm not sure really - it's in Russian

and this screenshot represents my feelings whenever i'm looking back at my works

[radiocrypt-id]

Gerrard is painful in a way I didn't really understand at first. He's like, 30. He's grown. A handsome prince, married to a wonderful woman that's trying to do her job and prevent the deaths of her people. But all he thinks about is the ball. he offers to look through a sword form book as a way of "helping", or to appear to be helping anyway. He's a coward. He hides with the children and escapes through a secret tunnel and runs away. He's desperate to convince anyone, including himself, that he's a handsome prince who is in love with his wife and their marriage is going great.

And I didn't get it, at first. I thought he was funny and probably more like the average person in a terrible time, not a hero. He's a grumpy adult that feels like the world he was promised got taken away from him when he did nothing to hold onto that world in the first place.

And then they played through his story. He was 9 when he was turned into a frog. 9. A baby, unable to understand what it was he'd done wrong. He was a spoiled little prince with absent parents that was 9 and didn't want to interact with a random strange old woman at his door asking for stuff. An adult could have been gotten. His parents could have been summoned by a servant and brought to the door or a higher servant could have handled the talk but no, no they let a 9 year old boy open that massive door to a random stranger asking to come inside out of the rain. Any child would have said no. Any child. Because an old woman he'd never met was asking to go inside his home. I would have said no, any of the other characters at the table would have said no. She's a scary old lady on his doorstep! And yeah maybe he said it in a dickish way. Maybe he called her a peasant or said 'how dare you' to her face, but he was 9 years old, what 9 year old isn't a weird little dick? Especially when they don't know what's going on? Stranger danger is literally a thing taught to children as soon as they can walk! Any one would have said no. But Gerrard said no, and was turned into a frog for it.

But you know what's worse then being turned into a frog and dropped in a pond a bit away from your home? Never being looked for. Not once. He was out there, he could see hunters and soldiers. A tiny Gerrard must have waited months, just staring out into the woods, straining his ears, listening for his mother or father calling his name. And then just listening for his name at all. And then just listening for any sign of humans at all. No one was looking for him. For all the servants charged with taking care of a young prince, not one saw what happened to him and not one went looking. It's hard to be small and scared and alone, waiting for someone to come get you but no one ever comes to get you. It's hard to learn that the people that are supposed to love you just... don't.

And later on, after becoming a handsome man and marrying Elody, Gerrard spent more years of his life as a frog in a pond than a prince. Day dreaming about balls and gossip and feasts and all the fun things about being a prince because it's all he can remember about his time as a prince. He didn't have the classes he should have had. He missed out on etiquette, and sword play, and politics, and war. He missed those lessons, because he was just a little frog in a pond during the years he would have learned all that. But he's expected to know. Elody loves him, but she expects him to know how to be a prince. She expects him to understand war and strife and taxes and all those important things and doesn't once stop to ask if he actually knows these things. Of course he didn't want to talk about the war effort. Of course he asked about the ball and offered to read a book about sword play. It's not that he could give more and chose not to, he genuinely didn't know how to do more than that. He was taking what initiative he could. He could teach himself how to fight, sure! but he can't teach himself how to be a general. All he wants is to be safe, and for the person he loves to be safe. And he assumes that anyone would run away from a losing battle because he would. He grew up a frog that had to survive by running away and letting someone else die so he could live. But even once he ran, he went looking for Elody. Because although Elody is falling out of love with Gerrard, he loves her fiercely. And as he goes on his adventure and fights and dies and fights more, he gets it. He gets what Elody wanted from him and what she needed him to be and that he failed to do that.

So he's learning better now. He learning to accept personal sacrifice, like with the glass shard. He's learning to be diplomatic, like with the pig. He's learning to be dangerous and capable, like in the fight against muffet. He's learning what it means to rely on people and be honest with them about his failings so they can cover his ass, like with the party. It's hard to learn these things. It's hard to try and sus out who is helpful and who isn't. It's hard to not hand off his problems again for someone else to fix. Because even though he's 30 now, he spent an unknown number of years as a frog, and he's desperately trying to catch up without letting anyone know he's behind because they might not like him anymore if they know how far behind them he is. He's doing his very best and, terrifyingly, the person that's supposed to love him is loving him less because his best isn't good enough for her. Once again, he's missing and no one is looking for him.

But that's okay, because this time, Gerrard can do the looking.

[bteezxyewriter12]

Song

Pairing- Namjoon x Named Reader

Word count- 5.6k

Includes- One of my favorite fic I've written, Hitman Namjoon, Hit attempt, gunshot wound, Chair sex, cock riding, missionary, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @marvelfamily3000 @amyz78 @blueie-things

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Namjoon Masterlist

J POV

I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling trying to fall asleep

I need a nap before I go to class or I'm going to be so cranky

I look at my phone at the time

3:30 pm

I've been tossing for an hour

I worked the morning shift today at work

6:00 am to 2:00 pm at the Starbucks by my house

I have class at 6:30 pm tonight

And I need a freaking nap or I'm going to be tired and cranky during class

That can't happen

This is my last semester

I finally graduate in a few months

I can't fuck everything up now

Turning to my side, I close my eyes, listening to the song that always plays in my head

It's a song I was born with like everyone in the world

Only my soulmate and I know it

I can turn it on and off but I usually listen to it while falling asleep

It's weird because the song isn't in English

It's in Korean

But that doesn't mean my soulmate is Korean

My friend Larissa had a Spanish song stuck in her head and her soulmate is a German guy who doesn't know Spanish at all

Mine is a nice song and it's nice to listen to

A love song

I'm almost asleep, drifting, when I hear a door close

I sit straight up in my bed, listening harder

There's no one here with me

My father is an asshole

He's a wealthy business man who is also a drug dealer

He came to Seoul for his business and took me with him

I was thirteen at the time so I had to go

While he was here, he got into trouble with the gangs and drug dealers and had to flee

I refused to go with him

I was nineteen and I didn't have to go with him anywhere

He left me the house and I haven't seen him in five years

I don't have roommates, I don't let people sleep over

I'm always alone here

So there should not be any door closing in this house

I get up from my bed and creep to my door, slowly opening it

I hear someone moving downstairs

Shit, someone is here

Fear spreads in my body

What am I supposed to do?

I run to my closet and grab a baseball bat that my dad left here

I found it two years ago and I just kept it

I keep saying that I'd learn some self defense but I never got around to it

So stupid

I open my door and listen

"Where is she? She better be home", a man's voice says in Korean

I stifle a gasp

This guy is here for me

Is he going to kill me?

He's probably here because of my father

Maybe a debt he didn't pay, someone he crossed and they want to get back at him

Or maybe he pissed someone else off wherever he lives now and they're sending this guy to kill me

How nice of them to assume he cares about me

I hear him walking and fear seizes my heart

What do I do?

Do I go downstairs to try to run for the door?

Do I hide?

Hiding never works in movies

I listen and I think he's in the kitchen

"How many rooms does this place have?"

A lot

It was just me and my dad but he loved living the stupid high life

I'd sell this house but it's under my dad's name and I have no where else to go

No way to contact him

And no money either

He didn't give me any when he left

That's what my job is for- bills and school

If this guy is by the kitchen then he'll probably go into the two bedrooms down there first before coming upstairs

I can make it

I hope

I can't stay up here, it's a dead end

As quietly as I can, I go down the stairs one at a time

The stairs are wood

My dad had the carpet taken away years ago

I hope it doesn't fucking creak

I'm so scared that this guy is going to come around the corner and see me

I'm way too open right now

I'm dead if he sees me

"Fucking hell", I hear him say

Shit

I run the rest of the way down the stairs

I land on the last step

And it creaks

Fuck

I run, turning into the living room and behind the staircase just as a gun goes off and a bullet lands in the wall I was just standing in front of

Yeah he's here to kill me

"Just come out. I'm going to get pissed off if I have to chase you everywhere"

Not a chance in hell

I'm so scared and I have to force myself to stop shaking

I need to get the fuck out of here

I'm so far from the front door

And he's in-between me and it

"Joanne. Come out!"

Fuck he knows my name

Of course he does

"Go away!", I yell, "I don't know you!"

"You don't need to know me. You just need to face what is going to eventually happen. I will kill you"

"Why? I didn't do anything!"

I inch closer to the opposite side of the staircase, away from where his voice is coming

I can get to the hall and then to the kitchen

Maybe grab a knife

It's no match for a gun though

I keep moving, almost to the hallway

"There you are", he says

A bang goes off and pain explodes in the back of my arm

"Fuck!", I scream and move to the middle of the back of the staircase

I grab my arm, blood seeping through my fingers

He shot the back of my upper arm

It hurts so fucking much and my eyes begin to tear

I can't believe this

How did my life get so fucked up so quickly?

I hear him moving on the right and I move to the left

I hear him slowly getting closer

He starts to hum

Seriously?

Is this like a game for him?

Fucking asshole

I'm trying to think of what to do when I hear what he's humming

Of fucking course

He's humming my song

The one that's always in my head

He's my fucking soulmate

And he's trying to kill me

🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨

Namjoon POV

I thought this job was going to be easy

The picture of the girl I was hired to kill made her look like an easy target

She's gorgeous but she has to die

I'm getting paid good money for this

But she's smarter than I thought, staying behind the staircase

I know if I go one way, she'll just go the opposite

So I decided to shoot to wound her

I got her in the back of her arm

That's going to hurt like hell and bleed

I can follow her blood trail wherever she goes in the house

I'm getting pissed off so I start humming the dumb song that's always in my head to calm me down

The song I was born with that my soulmate is supposed to know

They're supposed to be the only one who knows it

Me and them

That's how we find each other

What a crock of shit

All I know is this song can get annoying

It's always there, in the back of everything

I've heard of people learning to control it, but I never did

And to top it off, it's a stupid love song

But I hum it as I slowly walk in the hallway towards the back of the stairs

Then I hear, "nega nal bulleoss-eul ttae naneun neoui kkoch-eulo"

And I stop in my tracks

She's singing

"neomankeum nado manh-i museowo. When you see me, when you touch me"

No

This isn't happening

It can't

"Cause you love me and I love you"

She's singing the song

The song in my head

That no one but one person can know

"Love me now, touch me now. Just let me love you"

She's my soulmate

And I'm hired to kill her

I slowly walk to the back of the stairs, listening to her

"Ijen gyeote wajwo, Uriga doeeojwo.

I don't wanna let go no"

I'm about to turn, to her and I stop

Do I want to do this?

Do I want to see her?

Because once I do, I know I can't kill her

She's mine and I'm hers

I won't kill her and I'll do everything to protect her

"Tteolji malgo nae soneul jaba"

I make the decision and walk to her

She's sitting with her legs to her chest and her head down

She slowly looks up at me, tears on her face

And I fall in love instantly

"Just do it quick ok?", she asks

Hearing that is a knife to my heart

I can't do this

I can't kill her, I could never hurt her

I will kill anyone who tries to hurt her

"I...I....can't", I whisper

"Www....what?"

I kneel down to her and look in her eyes

Her beautiful dark brown eyes

"I..I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't know who you were. I'm sorry I hurt you"

"I...what?", she asks confused

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I can fix it. It's a flesh wound. You'll be ok. I know how to fix it. Or I can take you to a hospital. I'm sorry. Please. Please forgive me", I plead

She looks at me and I hope she can see how sorry I am

She looks so confused but that expression goes away as she keeps looking at me

"Yeah ok. I forgive you", she answers hesitantly, biting her lip

"Come on. I can take you to a hospital"

"I thought you said you can fix it?", she asks

"I uh, I can but I don't know if you'd want me to. If you'd want to come to my apartment where I have everything"

She's quiet for a minute

I'm so stupid

I almost killed her

I never thought I'd find her and when I did I almost killed her

"I'll go with you. To your apartment. So you can fix it", she answers

I nod, "Ok"

"I uh, I need to get shoes and stuff. I'll be back"

"Use a towel to stop the blood for now", I suggest

She nods and I hear her go upstairs

Great job Namjoon

--------------------------------

"This is going to hurt", I tell her

"Just do it", she answers

I just finished pulling the bullet out of her arm, then I cleaned and disinfected her wound

It killed me to hear her scream into a towel I gave her when I poured alcohol on it

Now I'm holding her skin together, carefully sliding the needle in her skin to start stitching the wound closed

She screams into the towel again, tears running down her face

I hate hurting her

I always swore that if I ever found my soulmate I'd protect them

Instead I'm the reason she's hurt.

She sobs harder the more I keep going but she doesn't move her arm

I finish as fast as I can but I make sure to do a good job

When I finish, I put some ointment on it, a bandage over it, then wrap a longer bandage around her arm to keep everything in place

We sit in silence as she breathes heavily and stops crying

When she lifts her head, I move in front of her

"I'm sorry. It'll never happen again. I promise. I promise I'll always protect you"

She looks at me and she nods

"Who are you?"

Wow I'm dumb

She doesn't even know my name

"Kim, Namjoon"

"Namjoon", she repeats, "You already know my name"

I nod, "Joanne. Joanne Russo"

"I guess you were trying to kill me because of my father?"

I nod

"Of course", she sighs, "What'd he do now?"

"I uh don't know. I'm just given a target and told to eliminate it"

She just stares at me

"You were going to kill me and you don't even know why?"

"I'm not required to know. That's not part of my job"

"You're job", she repeats, "What is your job? Are you like an assassin or something? Because let me tell you, I heard you walking around from my bedroom. You suck at being quiet"

Yeah I know I'm loud but at that point I don't care

They're going to die either way

"I'm not an assassin"

She raises her eyebrow, "Then what?"

"Hitman"

She rolls her eyes, "Oh my god it's the same thing!"

"No, not true.", I shake my head, "Assassin's may not get paid for killing someone. They also kill important people like politicians, kings, presidents, people like that. I kill regular people and I get paid for it"

"Fine whatever there's a difference. Happy?", she snaps

I like her already

I like how sassy she is

"Yeah", I answer

She glares at me, but tries to stop the smile that's trying to come on her face

And I just realized I really want to see her smile

I know it's going to be gorgeous

"So what, you work alone? Pick who you want to kill?"

I shake my head

"No. I'm part of an organization that hires out hitmen, thugs and gang members. I'm one of six hitmen. We're higher up than the thugs and gangbangers. I'm the best hitman. Fast, efficient, always complete the job. Until today"

"Yeah thanks. If you didn't hum the song then I'd be dead right now"

She's not wrong

That though makes me sick

"So you were picked for the job?"

I don't want to tell her this but I'm not going to lie to her

"No. I picked the job"

Her gaze snaps to mine, "Seriously?"

I nod, "I was called by my boss and he had a job for all six of us. As the best, I got to pick first. You looked like an easy kill that was worth a lot of money."

"Gee thanks"

"Yeah well you weren't. From the look of your pictures I just assumed you were another dumb girl. But you managed to stay away from me for a good amount of time. Some men I killed didn't even last as long as you did"

She glares at me, "Again, gee thanks"

"I'm-"

"I already know, you're sorry", she sighs, "Now what? You're boss is expecting you to kill me."

I run my hand in my hair, standing and pacing

"I don't know. I don't think this has ever happened. The other six hitmen already have their soulmates. They found them before they were hired. I have to talk to Seokjin. Maybe he can overlook this because of who you are to me."

"Is that your boss?"

I nod

"And if he says you have to kill me?"

"I'll tell him I will but then I'm taking you and we're leaving. I have enough of money to take us far away."

"Hey! I have a life here!", she protests, "I'm almost finished with college. I graduate in a few months!'

I stare at her

I didn't think of that

I didn't consider her life here

I just told her I'd take her away from everything she knows without consulting her

"I...I don't know what else to do. I won't let anyone take you away from me. I...I can't"

"You don't know me"

"That doesn't matter! You're my soulmate. I can't let anything happen to you!", I exclaim

I don't know how to tell her how I feel

It's just as soon as I saw her in person, hearing her sing, I felt something inside me

Like I woke up

And I have feelings for her

I'm in love

I want her to be mine

I don't want to ever be without her

Is this how the guys felt when they found their soulmate?

Is this how everyone feels?

"Why? Why can't you let anything happen to me? You were ready to kill me", she argues

"Because I didn't know who you were! But the second I heard you sing our song, the second I saw you....", I stop

I don't know how to explain this

"It's like you woke up. Like you were asleep to everything before that second.", she says softly

I look at her in shock

She felt that too?

I nod

"And feelings you didn't know you had, didn't know you could ever have for someone hit you in the chest?", I say

She nods, "And when you look at the person, you know you'll do anything to protect them. Do anything for them."

She knows what I feel

She knows I'll do anything for her

I nod, going to sit in front of her

She looks at me in my eyes, "And you know this feeling you feel for that person will turn to love. If it's not already"

"Yeah. It already is", I agree

"It is", she confirms

I pull her to me, my lips on hers in less than a second

And fireworks go off

🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨

J POV

Namjoon kisses me and stars burst in my vision

I never felt this way from a kiss before

I never felt this way for anyone before

I never believed in that love at first sight bullshit but....

I love him

It's insane

How can I love him?

How?

He came to kill me, he tried to kill me

And I love him completely

I'd do anything for him

And I know I'd leave with him if I have to

Not only because I love him but because it makes sense

I have a hit out on me

If he's not going to kill me, maybe someone else will

I can't stay here

And I want to be with him

I know he will protect me

He deepens the kiss, his tongue sliding in my mouth and pulling me on his lap

His arms go around me, holding me tightly as my arms wrap his neck, my hands in his blond hair

His hands run up and down my body, sending shives through me

When he gets to the hem of my shirt, his hands slip under it and he touches my skin

Electricity heats every nerve at his touch

I want him and I decide to go for it

Pulling his shirt up, he moves his arms so I can take it off

He's fucking hot

Broad shoulders and chest with muscles in his chest and stomach

And his arms, fuck his arms

He's beautiful

When I saw him for the first time, I almost couldn't breathe

From fear and from how beautiful his face is

And I thought that at least my murderer is gorgeous

When I touch his chest, he trembles under my fingers

I love that

He tugs at my shirt and I lift my arms

He pulls it off and sucks in a breath

What?

I look at him and he's staring at me like I'm the hottest thing he's ever seen

Me?

No way is he looking at me like that

"You're perfect", he whispers

My eyes shoot open wide

"You are Joanne. To me you are"

I'm still shocked but I get it

He's perfect to me

"You're the only one that matters", I answer

He smiles and holy shit it's gorgeous

Those fucking dimples are to die for

"What?", he asks

"You're smile....I've never seen a smile as beautiful as yours"

I see redness form on his cheeks

He's blushing and it's fucking adorable

I lean in and kiss him, tongue in his mouth

He moans and holds me against him, his hands undoing my bra

Pulling it off he tosses it somewhere

I move off him, undoing his belt and jeans

He lifts himself from the chair so I can pull his pants and boxers down

He kicks off his shoes and clothes

Christ his cock is huge

And he's so fucking hard

How is that going to fit?

He pulls me to him, kissing and sucking on my stomach as his hands pull my shorts and panties down

I'm already so wet and so excited

Taking my shoes off, I step out of my clothes, his hands pulling me back in his lap, straddling him

He's right there and pulls me down on him

It hard to get him in because he's so big and I'm kind small

"Please.", he pleads, "Please baby let me in"

"Push Namjoon. You won't hurt me", I answer, then start kissing his neck

His hands grip my hips and he pushes me down harder on his cock as he pushes up into me

I feel his cock open me up, feeling so good

When he slides all the way in, my body shivers uncontrollably

"Oh my god", he whimpers

Kissing his lips, I start moving, riding him slowly

"Fucking hell. You feel so fucking good", he murmurs between kisses

I know what he means

He feels fucking amazing

Moving faster, I bounce on him harder, making him moan loudly

God that's so sexy

I'm making him moan like that

I can't believe it

He pulls me closer to him, his arm around my waist and he slides his other hand up my back, tangling in my hair

Fuck, I love being in his arms

"You're so wet.", he says, then kisses me, "So tight. So perfect for me"

"You're perfect for me too", I reply, kissing him again, pleasure making me tremble

I slam myself on him faster and faster

"Yes fuck yes", he groans

I'm right there and the next slam makes me cum

"NAMJOON oh my god, oh my god", I yell, pleasure blasting in my body

"Holy shit. It feels so good. You feel so good", he yells, holding me tightly while I cum

When I finish, he moves me up and down his cock, pleasure hitting me quickly again

"Again baby girl. I need you to cum for me again"

"Yes!", I moan

God, his cock is hitting all the right places because he's so fucking big

I can't take it

"Namjoon oh my god, you feel so good, I...I..can't...", I shout

"Yeah baby? I'm making you feel good?"

I nod rapidly, "Yes Namjoon, yes. Your cock...fuck..is so fucking huge, I feel everything. Every fucking move you make. God it feels so fucking good!"

I fucking love it

It's easily the best sex I've ever had

"Good baby. It's all for you baby. Only you", he moans

"More Namjoon, more"

"Anything you want baby", he agrees

He starts thrusting up, hitting my spot which makes me scream

"There baby? That's where you want it?"

I nod, "Yes Namjoon. Please yes"

He starts slamming harder, pounding into me, the pleasure shutting my brain off

I tighten on his cock, clenching him over and over

"My girl want to cum?", he smirks

Jesus Christ, he's fucking sexy

"Hmm baby?", he asks again

"Yes Namjoon. I want to cum. I want to cum. Please make me cum!", I plead

"Always baby"

He slams hard right into my spot and the pleasure blinds me as I orgasm, screaming his name loudly

"NAMJOON, NAMJOON!"

"Fuck baby, I love how it feels when you cum. So fucking good"

Oh god, he's so fucking hot

He keeps moving, fucking me through my orgasm

Which only makes me cum again right after the other one ends

Oh my god I've never felt this pleasure before

"Scream my name baby"

"NAMJOON! Oh fuck, NAMJOON", I scream, my body arching into his, his arm holding me against house body

"Want another one baby?"

"Yes fuck yes yes"

God yes I want another one

So much

His slamming brings another orgasms almost immediately

I just scream incoherently

I can't think, I can't talk

I can only feel

"Mmmm yeah baby's shaking. It's that good baby?"

I nod, "Oh fuck yes. The best"

"Baby's gonna make me cum."

I want him to

I want him to so much

"Cum Namjoon, I want you to", I moan

He nods, pounding a few more times

"Fuck JOANNE, baby, JOANNE!", he screams as he cums

I can actually feel him cum and I'm surprised at how good he feels

When he finishes he relaxes leaning back in the chair and laying me on him

I put my head on his shoulder, breathing hard, just staying in his arms

My new favorite place to be

He plays with my hair, holding me to his chest

"I'm never leaving you", he whispers

"Good. I'm never leaving you either"

I feel him kiss my forehead and I hold onto him tighter

🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨

Namjoon POV

"She's you're what?", Seokjin questions

"My soulmate"

"You're kidding me"

I shake my head

"I almost killed her. I started humming the song, my- our song and..and she started singing it"

"Holy shit!", Jimin exclaims

"That blows", Jungkook says

Don't I know it

"And you didn't kill her?", Jin asks

How can he ask me that?

He wouldn't kill Ara

He protects her with his life

Why should I do anything different?

I shake my head, "I couldn't. When I saw her....I couldn't"

Jin nods

"What...what does this mean? What happens now?", I ask afraid

I'm ready to run

I already talked to Joanne

I took her back to her house and helped her get whatever she wanted and needed

She knows she can't ever go back to live there anymore

I promised to buy her whatever she wanted or needed that she couldn't take

She told me she didn't need anything but me and that made me so fucking happy

I feel the exact same way about her and I made sure she knows it

We packed her whole life into two suitcases

I packed mine into one

We closed out our bank accounts and opened one together putting all our money there, so no one knows where it is

Then I got a hotel room for us and that's where she is now

We can't stay at my apartment either

And there was no way in hell I'm bring her here

Just in case

These people are my friends but money is money

"Well I'd say that one of the guys would kill her but she's your soulmate. Soulmates are off limits. To us anyway."

"They are?", I ask, relief flooding my body

"In this organization they are. Doesn't matter if they're targets or not. She's safe from every member of this organization. As for the others I don't know. I would tell them the job is done but-"

"They require a body", I finish

"What if we set it up?", Hobi asks

"What?", Jin questions

"We just do another job with a girl who looks like his soulmate. Mess up her face bad so she unrecognizable. Then pass her off as his soulmate."

That sounds like it could work

Jin nods, "I have doctors and cops who I can call who can fake whatever records or forms that are required."

I'm getting hopeful

Jin looks at me, "You'd have to leave Seoul, possibly Korea with her though. She can't be seen here or they will know she's alive. The men who ordered the hit do not know which hitman I sent for the job, so they don't know you work here. You can leave with no ties to us. And be with her wherever you two choose"

I nod

That works

I have no problem leaving

I have nothing here anyway

No family, nothing I'm attached to

Just her

"Is that good for you?", Jin asks

"Yes. Thank you", I reply

"Yeah well good luck.", Jin says, "We'll start the plan now."

He tosses a picture with an envelope to Tae

"Take her out. Make her unrecognizable"

Tae nods

"Thank you", I tell them

"See ya Namjoon.", Hobi waves

"Gonna miss you", Tae adds

"Good luck", Jungkook chimes in

I wave bye to the guys and leave

Opening the door to the hotel room I hear her call me

"Joonie?"

"Yeah baby, it's me"

"Joonie", she calls running to me

I pick her up and hold her to me tightly

She small and I love how perfectly she fits in my arms

"Is everything ok?", I ask

"Yeah, I just missed you", she answers, cuddling into my neck, arms and legs around me

That puts a smile on my face

"I missed you too"

I did

I felt uneasy without her next to me

Probably because of this whole situation

Putting her on the bed, she lays down on her back and I lay next to her, propping my head in my hand

"What happened?", she asks

I explain to her what Jin said and the plan the guys came up with

"Huh so soulmates are off limits? Who knew?"

"Not me", I answer

I really had no clue

"So does that sound ok to you? Leaving Korea?"

"Yeah baby", she nods

I love her calling me that

That and Joonie

No one has called me Joonie since I was a kid

"But are you ok with it? You've lived here your whole life"

Leaning down, I kiss her lips, then softly touch the side of her face

"As long as I'm with you I'm good being anywhere"

She nods, smiling

God her smile is stunning

I love seeing it and I love when she directs it at me

"That's funny Joonie, I was going to say the same thing"

A smile bursts on my face, "Yeah?"

"Yeah Joonie. I'll follow you anywhere. I'm happy as long as I'm with you"

I'm so happy she's mine

Some soulmates take time to fall in love it, to accept it but she embraced it right away

Like I did

"You're smile is so beautiful Joonie. I love everything about it", she whispers, touching my dimples

"So is yours baby. I love looking at your smile", I answer

She puts her arm around my neck and pulls me down to her, her lips on mine in a kiss

I kiss her back with everything in me

Her hands slide in my hair, pressing her body to mine as she kisses me

I run my hands all over her, touching her every where

Hooking my fingers in her pants and panties, I pull them down

Her hands move to my jeans, undoing everything and pulling my jeans and boxers down

I'm so excited to be with her again

The first time...fuck the first time was the best sex I ever had in my life

I'm always going to want her

All the time

I move on top of her and she opens her legs for me

She's already soaking wet as I push hard to get in

When I slide inside, her body trembles and she moans softly

I love her reaction to me

It shows how much she wants me

Moving slowly, I gently thrust in and out, pleasure pouring over me

"Joonie", she cries

Fuck, I love hearing her say my name

She pulls my shirt up and I help her take it off

Taking her shirt off too, I lift her a little from the bed and undo her bra, tossing it behind me

He arms go around my neck pulling me to her

She kisses me again and I'm in heaven

"Baby", she whispers, then kisses me again

I kiss down her neck and along her shoulder

"Baby, my baby", I repeat as I kiss her and she moans

As I thrust in, she moves her hips to meet me

I go in deeper and hit her spot, causing her to gasp and shudder against me

The way she and her body responds to me blows my mind

No other girl has responded like she does

As we move together, she kisses me and calls my name, "Namjoon.."

"Mmm baby", I answer

"I love you Namjoon", she tells me

I look up at her to see her already looking at me, her eyes full of love

For me

It's the first time she told me she loves me

And I'm over the moon

"I love you Joanne. More than anything", I answer

She smiles her gorgeous smile at me and I melt

Kissing her, we keep moving together, clinging to each other

"I love you", she says again, then kisses me

"I love you", I tell her, my lips back on hers

I feel her getting ready and I want it so much

She moans as her orgasm starts, blasting pleasure all over me that I cum with her

We keep kissing and saying "I love you", through our orgasms

"I love you", she whimpers

"I love you", I moan

I never came this way, kissing and telling someone I love them while she tells me she loves me

It's my favorite way to orgasm now

I can feel her love for me and I hope she can feel mine

When we finish, I pull out, laying next to her again

She takes my hand, intertwining our fingers, then bringing our hands up and kissing the back of mine

"I love you so much, Namjoon", she say, looking at me

I can't help but smile at her

"I love you more than anything Joanne. You're my everything"

She smiles, lifting her head

I lean down and catch her lips in a soft kiss

We both lay down and she immediately comes into my arms, snuggling close to me

I wrap my arms around her, getting her as close to me as she can get.

We have to move tomorrow, pick somewhere to go and possibly hide for a long time

And I know that as long as I have her, everything is going to be ok

But that's tomorrow

For tonight, I lay with my soulmate, my love and fall asleep

[foone]

Robots in temporary bodies. You agree.

Their gorgeous humanoid chasis, packed full of the latest noctua servos and the Samsung sensor package, is sitting on a bench somewhere at the repair shop. The whole damn main bus got completely fried by that EMP they got off the exploding transformer (not the Optimus Prime kind), so it's going to be at least a week before it can get rebuilt.

So now they're in the body of some toy you had gotten for your birthday a couple years ago. They barely come up to your knees and their hands don't have thumbs. They keep complaining that they only have visual and audio sensors, so they feel half-blind (once you have radar you never get over losing it) and they're constantly worried about crushing anything they pick up. You get a phone call at 2am and have to go rescue them from the bathroom. They accidentally closed the door behind them and that's the one door in the apartment you haven't replaced, so it's big and heavy and made of thick wood. Their little hands couldn't reach the doorknob.

You ask why they were in the bathroom with a smile, and they explain they needed to clean off their treads because they spilled coffee creamer on the floor. These damn hands can't grab anything.

Their job offers them a loaner body but they decide to stay on medical leave for now. Body swaps are a big hassle and no fun to go through, so they don't want to do any more than absolutely necessary. Besides, they'd just barely be getting up to speed in the loaner body by the time they were ready to switch back out. Plus they know all the loaners are those budget model combat drones. They don't want to wear a body like that. I'm sure someone wants to look like "draw Arnold Schwarzenegger from memory", but it's sure as fuck not them.

They'd tried on one of those early in their career, and it's not just the dysphoria of looking so completely different from your mental image of yourself, it's also the change in how people treat you. Yeah, if you're a cop, maybe having people flinch when you walk in the room is a good thing, and maybe it's good that most people instinctively don't want to even try attack you. But they're not a cop, and even if they were, they couldn't handle looking like that during downtime. Maybe some people like making everyone in their life scared of them. Everyone from their partner to the guy handing them their coffee... But people who like that aren't the kind of people you want to be or hang out with.

Besides, metal and motors and servos has a distinct strength advantage over muscles anyway. If you want to be able to lift a car over your head with ease, you don't need to look like a bodybuilder to do it. So it's even more obvious that the only reason you would look like that is because you either really like that aesthetic, or you want to intimidate people. And you know they are in neither camp.

They ask to cuddle one night. They don't need to sleep and they don't have the sensors to enjoy it in this body, but they want it anyway. It's not about the sensor experience anyway, it's about the intimacy and the closeness. You put up with getting poked in the chest by their square edges, and if they their current form could cry, they'd be at serious risk of rusting.

You get it. You fortunately don't have to worry about how it'd feel to spend a week without your body, but you can't imagine it'd be fun.

A few days later, you wake up to the smell of maple syrup. You start to get out of bed when they burst in the room, wearing only a cute "fdisk the cook" apron. They've got pancakes and waffles and coffee for you! Breakfast in bed, to celebrate getting their body back.

While you're sitting in bed with them finishing up your breakfast, you ask what happened to the plan for you to drive them to the repair place, since their previous body couldn't exactly work the controls of your old car, even with the wireless link? They took a cab, they say. Their body's repairs finished up at 5am and they didn't want to wait around until you got up, they were just too excited.

You ask about their previous body, the temp one? Oh, there was a minor accident. See, they were still getting used to having all their main body's senses and strength back, so it accidentally fell of the trunk. At 15,000 feet. While doing Mach 1.3 over Arizona Bay.

They promise to buy you a new robot toy. Maybe one a little... More adult? It'd be just as annoying to be stuck inside when their main body is out for repairs, but at least they could have SOME fun with you while on medical leave. You're firm on the "no creepy sex dolls" front, though. FINE! but they want at least opposable thumbs for the next temp body. You make the obvious crude joke at why they need hands that can grip, and their cheeks go gallium-arsenide-red with embarrassment. You ask if they're having cooling problems again, their face feels warm. They push you over onto the bed, laughing and telling you not to tease them.

The maple syrup goes everywhere. Somewhere downstairs your laundrybot wakes up in annoyance, already annoyed at all the extra work they're going to have to do.

[6rookie-writer0110]

The night when these stars sigh

Joel Miller x Male Reader

Request - pedro pascal characters but if u do i was wondering if i could request a male reader x the mandalorian or joel miller (up to you) that’s based on the song open arms (solo version) by sza. the request wouldn’t be a song fic it would just be the story the song is telling.

•

if u follow the song exactly it’s mostly angsty but u can do whatever u want with the request, fluff, smut, etc. i don’t mind. thank u any way 🫶

You and Joel started dating three years ago, and you and Joel fell for each other fast. You never had strong feelings for anyone before and you opened up to him and told stuff about yourself that you never told anyone. Joel did open up to you and he felt happy when you were next to him. You and Joel always spend time together, learning everything about each other then you and Joel say those three words to each other.

You and Joel went to the cabin in the woods for the weekend. But you notice he is acting strange again, but you ignore the signs because you are in love. He isn't affectionate like before, but you figured he was having an off day. You sit next to him and hold his hand but seconds later he gets up and moves and you don't say anything. You watch him go outside towards the lake. Joel wanted to say something but hesitated to tell you. He doesn't know how to start the conversation and he just becomes more distant.

Hours later, Joel did notice you stopped being affectionate with him.

“Whatever is bothering you, you can talk to me about it,” You said.

“Nothing is bothering me, Y/N,” Joel said.

“Joel, I know when you are lying but okay we won't talk about it,” You said.

You and Joel know each other very well. During dinner, you and Joel didn't say a word to each other. You went to bed early but he didn't sleep next to you, he fell asleep in the living room.

———-

The next day, you and Joel started to have a good time by the lake. But you didn't mention yesterday because you didn’t want to ruin the moment. Joel kissed you on the lips then you and Joel went into the water.

“Are you having a good time?” Joel asked.

“Yeah, I’m having fun today. What about you? I thought you weren't going to get in the water” You said.

“I changed my mind, Y/N,” Joel said.

“Yeah,” You said.

Later, you and Joel sat on the dock to watch the lake. You wanted to hold his hand but he moved it away and you didn't say anything. Joel feels bad for moving his hand away but he had to do it, he noticed you are acting different around him but he doesn't blame you.

While walking back to the cabin, Joel doesn't walk next to you. He is walking in front of you and you sigh, the good time went away. While at the cabin, you tried to kiss him but he moved away.

“Joel, what is wrong with you?” You asked.

“Y/N, I-”

“Tell me the truth, Joel! You are different around me, why” You said.

“Y/N, we can't be together anymore. You should be with someone else, this won't work between us” Joel said.

“Are you fucking serious? Why did you make me open up to you? Or why say I love you!?” You said.

“I’m sorry, Y/N but this has to end between us. You deserve to be happy with someone else” Joel said.

“We have been together for three years going on four. If you didn't want this then why you didn't leave me alone from the beginning. You knew that I been hurt before in the past. Out of all the people in the world, i didn't expect you to hurt me, Joel Miller” You said.

You are doing everything to hold back your tears, but he did notice your tears. His eyes are watery and he does care about you.

“I thought I could make you happy and give you what you wanted but I can't. I’m sorry for hurting you, Y/N I’m really sorry. But we don't belong together” Joel said.

“Screw you. I fell in love with you but now I see that you never truly loved me. I’m so stupid to actually think someone would truly love me” You said.

“You deserve to be loved -”

“Save it! Don’t give me that fucking speech, how I deserve to be loved. I gave everything of myself to you. And you do this to me after three fucking years!” You yelled.

“Y/N… I’m sorry. I don't want to lose you, I still want you in my life. I want to be your friend” Joel said.

“Go to hell, Joel. I have enough friends” You cried.

You walk away and he doesn't go after you. He heard the bedroom door slam hard and you sat on the bed and cried. Joel sits on the chair and wipes the tears away.

An hour later, you packed your clothes. You take out your cell phone and block his phone number. You struggled to delete every picture of you and him together, but you did it. You sighed and you tried to hold back your tears again. You grab all your clothes and put them in the duffle bag, now you hate yourself for falling in love and opening up to someone. It was your first time falling in love and opening up to someone.

You left through the back door in the kitchen. Joel didn't notice that you left and you didn't bother to say goodbye. You walked towards the highway and a stranger gave you a ride to the bus station. Joel gets and heads upstairs and he doesn't see you. He started to look for by the lake then back to the cabin and he cried again. Now he knows that he lost you forever and you would never forgive him.

✯ ✫ ✯ ✫

Joel hasn't seen you since that day at the cabin. He did search for you but he had no luck finding you. He just wants to make sure you are okay and he felt sad when you blocked his phone number. You and Joel don't have the same friends and he went to your apartment, but the landlord told him that you moved away. But he started to panic because there was a post-outbreak virus in town and everywhere else. He is hoping that you are safe and he starts to wish, that he could contact you.

[octuscle]

Can you transform my life into Zac Ansley’s?

The interesting thing about influencers is that they often don't do one thing at all: Influence things or people. Take this young, handsome man with this incredibly toned body. He has a staggering 1.3 million followers. How many of them have anything like his body? And how many only use his Instagram profile to secretly jerk off in the loo during their lunch break? The ratio is probably 10 to 1.2 million or so…

You're no exception, let's be honest… You have a little paunch, your favorite pastime is eating chips on the sofa while watching series on Netflix with one eye open. And watching Zac's new fitness videos with the other eye. Have you ever seriously thought about copying one of his exercises? Even getting into a barrel of ice-cold water? Buying any of the nutritional supplements he advertises? Actually, the answer is three times no. And at the age of 42, you probably won't change a thing…

You wipe your greasy fingers from the chips on your dirty wifebeater. And start wanking your puny cock. But maybe it was a beer or two too many. A few minutes later, you're lying on the sofa, snoring.

Zac gets up at 06:00 in the morning. You want to top that. The alarm clock is set for 05:45. And even if it takes some effort: By 06:00, you've eaten your high-protein muesli and you're on your way to the gym. Inspired by Zac's training plan, you start your chest workout. Shit, you're really out of shape. But no master has fallen from the sky. As you wipe the sweaty hair from your forehead after a really strenuous workout, you have the feeling that your receding hairline is getting better… And is the hair that grows back blonde?

You get lots of compliments at work. Have you lost weight? That your skin looks much better. A colleague even whistles after you and says with a grin, "Nice ass, buddy!" During your lunch break, you heat up your chicken and rice in the microwave and drink a large protein shake with it. And you cancel your colleagues' plans to go to the pub after work. You can make better use of your time. So you go to the gym and make sure your ass is even tighter.

Get up at 05:00, have breakfast, walk to the gym with your rucksack on your back and get your muscles burning. You can't imagine any other way to start the day. And your more than 12K followers are craving new selfies of you on the weight bench or posing in front of the mirror in the locker room.

At the office, you have the image of a fitness nerd. Even though you've been working out for an hour and a half, you're one of the first people in the office, you're always perfectly dressed and your hair is always in perfect condition. No one can remember the last time you were sick. And quite a few people think that, at just 38 years old, you only have your perfect body to thank for your position as division manager. Okay, there are also rumors about the size of your cock and that it also helped you climb the career ladder.

During lunch (chicken, rice and brocolli) you go live and give a few nutrition tips. You let your pecs dance under your tight shirt. If all goes well, you'll break the 25K followers barrier today.

At 6 p.m., your Indian intern knocks on the door. He has already swapped his suit for workout clothes. He asks if you're ready and if you can go to training. You tell him that you only need ten more minutes and that he should close the door behind him. A damp stain forms in his pants.

05:00 a.m. First, the obligatory Instagram check. Yes! The one million mark has been broken! There's actually no time for this in your routine, but you have to wank your morning wood. To celebrate the day. But then you quickly have breakfast and go to the gym, the first post has to be out at 06:00, you have to keep your followers in line.

When your team shows up for the new YouTube videos, you're really pumped. Just like your fans love you. "Lads, lasses, hoy! Today we're gan te mek yor triceps an' chest proper radge!" Hey, you are a proper lad from Northumberland. You talk the way you talk. Most of your followers like you for not speaking nasal Oxford English.

05:00 p.m., end of the day at the gym. The video turned out great. You've fed Instagram with a new reel. You're on your way to an interview with Status Fitness Magazine. And then you have to go to a swimwear shoot. It's going to be another damn long day. Not bad for someone who was told by the doctor just 12 years ago that you urgently need to get your act together if you don't want to die with a fatty liver. But damn, you've got your act together. And you did it damn well!

[little-bumblebeeee]

Moonlight - part 1

werewolf!Steve x vampire!Eddie

There are werewolves in Hawkins. Yeah right, and there are monsters under the bed. That's Eddie's reasoning. Vampires don't exist, neither do werewolves or monsters or the boogeyman or mermaids or any similar creature. The howling at full moon nights are probably some weirdo trying to scare kids - hell, he'd do it too - and the reason Dustin Henderson keeps buying an insane amount of raw meat on those nights is because...the Hendersons like beef? Look, Eddie doesn't know, he just knows he's not falling for some myth.

"Well, if you're so brave go stay the night in the woods tomorrow night during the full moon." Gareth tells him with arms crossed in front of him and poking Eddie pretty damn hard in the arm. "I just might." Eddie retorts, though he knows he'll probably book it out of there the second he hears a twig snap, but there are people around. He can't act like a scared little kid. So that's why he's lugging a tent and a bag of snacks into the woods because he's not gonna let his stomach rumbling give away where he is to any crazy murderers hiding in the woods or werewolves - not like they exist or anything.

He had to get Wayne to teach him how to set up a tent at least 5 times before he even stepped near the woods. His flashlight sweeps the ground, the fresh batteries making it brighter than ever. Is he paranoid? Pfft, no, he's just not dumb, he's seen horror movies. It's quiet for a few hours, and Eddie totally doesn't almost squeal like a scared middle schooler who hasnt hit puberty yet when he sees a silhouette stumbling next to his tent. He can hear their heavy breathing, they must've ran here. They say a choked sounding string of curse words and - wait, Harrington? That's clearly his voice, what is he doing here? And why is he running? Is he running from something!?

Eddie peeks his head just a little bit out of the tent to see Steve there, keeled over and breathing like he'd just run a marathon. He looks like he's in pain as he falls to his knees, digging his nails - no, claws into the ground. He didn't have claws yesterday, what the actual hell!?

So, Eddie does what Eddie does best, he runs. He runs and runs and runs until he falls over because even though he's good at running away from things he hasn't gotten proper exercise in at least a couple years. Luckily there's no beast chasing him, only a howling far in the woods. He sounds like he's in pain, and part of Eddie wants to go back - but the sensible part of him is telling him to keep running. How deep was he in the woods? He's pretty sure he wasn't even that far yet they seem never ending. He's starting to panic, he feels like he's in a horror movie with the thuds and snarls behind him and never ending forest. He knows you're not supposed to look back but he does and... he isn't getting chased? Harrington, now fully transformed, has just slowly walked away and curled up. Whimpering.

It's so surprising Eddie slows to a jog, Steve reminding him less of a ferocious beast and more of a big dog that's all bark and no bite. The sensible part of him is screaming for him to keep running, but he's tired of running, his ribs hurt, and he wants to pet the big scary wolf. So he goes to pet the big scary wolf, almost immediately regretting when Steve snarls at him, opening one eye that's surprisingly the same honey brown.

But even more surprisingly, Steve stops snarling, nudging his head under Eddie's hand and closing his eyes once more like a dog. He's calm, just lying there. "Uh...good boy?" Eddie says, not sure if he should call Steve that in case he's still kind of human. He's never going to let Steve live this down. Steve "Good Boy" Harrington.

Okay maybe he shouldn't use that one in front of his friends. Bad idea. Very bad. Yup. Icky. He leans his back against the tree, Steve's head on his lap. It's kind of nice, Eddie struggling to stay awake as he literally cuddles a big ferocious beast. He's pretty sure Steve falls asleep at some point too, so he doesn't mind leaning back against the tree trunk and closing his eyes.

He knows he has Steve to protect him if anything happens. And he does, even if a bunny gets too close to Eddie as he sleeps Steve will snarl until it runs away, making sure not to wake the sleeping beauty he's laying his head on.

This won't go anywhere, Steve will make sure of it, but it's nice. And it'll be nice until morning comes, until Steve has to run away to find that little log he stuffed his bag of clothes in because he doesn't want to explain how his clothes ripped when he transformed. So, Eddie wakes up to nothing except a weird looking bug on his hand and a memory of soft fur that he really hopes was a weird ass dream.

Let me know if you want a part 2 and if so if you want to be tagged as well!! Also cut me some slack, this is my first serious fic ._. (little picture up top by me, pictures taken from pinterest)

PART 2!!! :D

[the-blossica-fan]

Woe, more Personality Swap upon thee ^-^

An-An Lee and Yenisei

Mercuria and Ms. NewBabel

Eternity and Kanjira

Charlie and Blonney

You guys give me lists of characters as if I'm going grocery shopping/aff

An-An Lee with Yenisei's personality is such a calm and peaceful woman with the most savage comments if you bother her.

The hyperactive An-An Lee would return your comments with pettiness, but this An-An Lee would say some things that damn...

"Your job is not even a real job! Ghost hunting? Really?"

"I still win your year salary in a week"

It's more common to hear her speak in Cantonese, as well as her writing. She's still a little bit concerning sometimes, when she doesn't act up when she sees ghosts but instead efficiently and calmly.

"Good work today, now I must rest for a moment"

Yenisei with An-An Lee's personality does NOT fit her face.

A bright, hyperactive Yenisei with a big smile? Whose nightmare is that?

It's easier to find Yenisei swimming or just chilling above water during this period of time. She's just enjoying time in a very exciting way, catching fish with the help of Vila.

Yup, she burns her energy by running around, doing whatever activity that she finds amusing or water-related. It burns her adrenaline and also keeps her busy, so, why not?

She's far more affectionate, since she wouldn't really hug anyone before, unless protecting Bessmert and hand holding with Jiu counts, she rarely touches people. Which is why seeing her with an arm wrapped around Spathodea and a bright smile is so weird.

She's more active at night, a difference from her usual self, more active in the morning.

"Good evening Vertin! Are you ready to go swimming today?! Mm? Oh, don't worry, it's just a little fun!"

Mercuria and Ms. Newbabel is such a crazy concept ngl. You wanna put my baby with this absolutely gorgeous woman's personality?

You got it.

Mercuria's eyes, usually just wandering around, suddenly fixated upon money and prices? Such a crazy concept ain't that right?

Mercuria doesn't really care much for prices or business and such, but if she has such sharp eyesight for the future and divination, she can certainly make a business out of it, can't she?

And well, prices are not cheap...

"If you wish to know about your future, you can come to me. You can always rely on my business."

Thank God she had no fixation for critters because she's making a lot of money from reading people's futures. At least she's making money out of her passion.

Ms. Newbabel with Mercuria's personality, freedom for the critter slaves.

She has such an amazing friendship with the critters and walks around freely through the woods of the wilderness with her two critter companions.

Since she doesn't do divination, she's just walking around with a bunch of critters after her with the most peaceful, totally-doesn't-smoke-weed vibe.

Eternity and Kanjira, the successful business woman and the shameless thief.

Eternity with Kanjira's personality would certainly be a deal. She's a dignified lady, a woman of money who holds herself higher than the rest due to this. To her, money is easy, and business is even more important than companionship.

So, when you see this dignified lady pickpocketing with a mischievous smile, you know right away that she's not herself.

Eternity is mischievous, a trickster by birth, but unfortunately, she's also naive and driven by her own emotions. Not like she shows it or anything, but it's not that hard to confuse her if you know what you're looking for.

Surprisingly, she keeps herself spotless just so she can offer beautiful rocks or distract people before stealing their wallet or any priced possession.

"No, don't look at me. This wallet is just... A similar design to yours. ID? It doesn't have one!"

Kanjira with Eternity's personality would almost be herself but if she had been taught business.

She's a thief, but with Eternity's successful, prideful and tricky personality, she's amazing at business.

Coming from below and using such a thing to trick people for money, such as beautiful things made by herself or things she had stolen before, she's able to buy a significant amount of money.

And commit tax fraud.

Indeed, she's a smart young lady who uses her poor, haggard looks to steal, but in prices. Different to stealing wallets, she'll make you feel robbed by selling you a flower crown for the shocking amount of 55 Sharpodontry.

Oh, but you wouldn't complain to an orphan, would you? With such a haggard look and background, wouldn't you offer those 50 Sharpodontry?

An evil, greedy trickster.

Charlie and Blonney is pretty interesting, considering what you guys have told me to do (I'm building her bond atm), Charlie is a very interesting and sad character. So...

Blonney with Charlie's personality is a mess, something she could have been if only she had been allowed to have her old, human forced personality. Rationality and all.

A shy lady who uses her jacked to cover herself as much as possible to not catch anyone's eyes. You have seen her posters of horror movies? N-no, those are not hers!

Shy, reclusive and antisocial. She wouldn't speak much, nor would she appreciate visits unannounced. She prefers just, staying inside.

When it comes to battle, she's more herself. Smashing the enemies, using her arcane skill to launch monsters at them and destroy them.

Her confidence in battle is frightening. She uses such tactics to scare, creep and to frighten the enemy by using her horror movie addiction and creativity. She's aggressive, putting on a show as she destroys every single enemy.

That laugh she has in one of her lines? She's laughing like that all the way with a scary look in her eyes.

"H-huh? Uhm, these posters? No- no, Nono those aren't mine! These are from, uh, Horropedia!"

Charlie with Blonney's personality? A harsh change.

She would attempt to act naturally, if you know what I mean. Less of a shy or confident circus director and more of a... I suppose an idgaf-er. Which she isn't.

She's pretending to not care, her business are certainly not anyone else's, but it's hard to let go of that shell.

This Charlie is determined, at least. She's confident in her plays and her actions, but with Blonney's doubts and her self-esteem, mixed with Charlie's own doubts, she's just putting on a confident mask.

"Would you lock the door? I'm in the middle of a play. ... No, I don't, I don't care, if you don't have something important to say, leave."

[the-mic-drop]

Zelink gets Isekaied into BG3 Pt5: Let's Split Up, Gang!

Zelda- High Elf Draconic Lineage Sorcerer

Link- Half Wood Elf Champion Fighter

So far: Karlach has joined the party, Zelda has begun her infernal machinery research, and Karlach asks Link about his relationship with Zelda

When Zelda finally says goodbye to Dammon, she finds Link looking uncomfortable with Karlach and Astarion on either side of him. She asks what's wrong and Link takes the opportunity to escape and ask where they're going next.

Zelda is split between continuing to explore across the bridge and looking into Moonhaven more. Lae'zel suggests they split into two teams of four to explore both. Zelink is shaken by the suggestion, but can't deny the idea.

Team Link (Link, Wyll, Shadowheart, and Gale) will investigate Moonhaven.

Team Zelda (Zelda, Karlach, Lae'zel, and Astarion) will explore The Risen Road.

The teams will meet back up at camp (probably outside The Grove) at [time is a nebulous concept.]

As the group finishes distributing resources, Zelda hugs Link. She gives him a meaningful kiss goodbye before Team Zelda warps to their destination, leaving him stunned.

Link is mercifully left with the group least likely to hound him for information, but is still asked a few questions that he responds to with characteristic brevity before Team Link warps back to Moonhaven.

Karlach and Astarion ask Zelda about her and Link in their own ways as they walk and Zelda is much more open to answering than her boyfriend.

She tells them they've been living together since the end of the Calamity and started dating a year or so after that. Astarion asks about marriage and she gets bashful, saying they're waiting for the kingdom to get back on its feet. Lae'zel is watching the environment to try and distract herself from this inane dribble.

Lae'zel notices some movement up the road from where they dealt with the Gnolls. Evidently, there were even more Gnolls. Lae'zel advises Zelda to have herself and Karlach head straight in and let her and Astarion sneak up the small hill and give them support from the high ground. Zelda gives the thumbs up and Team Zelda makes short work of the Gnolls, though the moment is sullied when they find a pair of corpses in the cave. That Iron Flask they find is spooky.

Team Zelda continues and finds Waukeen's Rest on fire. Zelda immediately orders the party to search & rescue or join these nice knightly-looking people to put out the fires. She asks Karlach just how fireproof she is. Karlach enthusiastically says she can take a quick pop into an inferno if need be.

Astarion takes a bucket and heads into the less-enflamed buildings and does some light looting veiled as looking for survivors.

Lae'zel kicks down the front door and lets Karlach take the lead into the building. Zelda follows, hitting every blaze with Ray of Frost as she goes.

They get Florrick out, but Zelda hears someone yelling for help from a closed room. She recognizes that the room will ignite further if they open the door and she has Karlach bust in, find the guy, and get out before she blasts the room with a real big Ray of Frost (Ice Storm)

While Zelda goes around magically putting out fires, the rest of the team talks to Florrick and the Flaming Fist, getting the plot info (Astarion takes the lead.) Duke Ravengard, Moonrise Towers, etc.

During a short rest, the team fills Zelda in on what they've learned.

After their rest, they continue down the road and see the red dragon flying overhead. Lae'zel jogs ahead of the party to meet her fellow Gith.

The encounter begins as normal with Lae'zel taking the lead, but eventually, Voss' dragon takes an interest in Zelda. Zelda can feel that the dragon means her no harm and gently communes with it. This impresses Voss enough to believe Lae'zel's deception (or gives Lae'zel the confidence to convincingly lie) and the encounter ends without conflict.

With the knowledge that the Gith are searching for Shadowheart's artefact, Team Zelda decides to head back to camp for the time being.