#??not sure it is?? theres no writing. who knows.

[zorbik-guligan]

Not really sure what incongruous means so I'll look it up after but it does feel like as i get older life gets more complex theres more things i understand now that sure i knew about them before but not in great detail but it feels like I've become so fucking complex as a person that if i tried to explain what i actually think and feel it would just overwhelm a person so i try and section myself off into pieces and just use different parts of me with different situations or people and it may just be because ive spent most of my time these past 2 almost 3 years now alone with nothing to do but think and figure myself out that when im asked what i think about something slightly personal its kinda hard to say it just got lost in my head somewhere and that whatever i think will change at a moments notice like i can bring up memories of lots of things and remember nostalgic times but i spent so long thinking about why i feel a certain way or what makes me feel a certain way in order to try and get a better hold of myself that ive kinda forgotten alot of my past like so many memories that i made are just gone because remembering them made me feel a way i dont want to feel like i remember realizing the beginning of 6th grade that i had completely forgotten 5th grade and the reason why was because that time i had was so nice yet not at the same time my brain just frogot because it didn't want a reminder of how good yet not something can be like great teachers who for the first time ever actually seemed to care as far as i could tell class mates who were generally friendly and occasionally checked on me if i seemed off yet i felt so alone cause nobody there really seemed like a real friend like the friends i had before who even when we were in deep trouble wouldn't rat me out and would stick with me who genuinely cared and missed me if i was sick getting older and not having anyone to socialize with for really formative years off my life has made understand those really old dudes who are nice and always up to make friends but just seem extra lonely for some reason despite knowing so many people i guess technically being that alone did hurt me but i kinda learned that im just not alone ever when im outside theres always some squirrels birds or plants nearby that make it more lively its why ive grown so fond of certain forested spots they are always lively and it feels like hanging out with all my friends its also why i enjoy making things like with metal or wood stone or even writing and painting those things feel alive in a way same with music and having time to think so much has made me reflect and realize that no day is the same and even when something changes something else stays the same or gos back to how it was in a weird cycle like growing but remembering where you were growing older for me anyways is like gaining more skills and more knowledge not just on the stuff around me but on myself too obviously people change sometimes pretty quickly too but getting older makes you learn more about yourself which duh that how life works but still it feels weird to be aware of it at 17 when it feels like i should still be trying to figure out my favorite youtuber or something not contemplate who i am as a person and what makes me feel the way i do but its a good kind of weird and theres always more to learn and find so i still have plenty of room to learn more about myself still not being able to really fully let a person know you kinda sucks but to be fair that is a rather special thing its also nice being able to put into words why i feel a certain way so that i can actually explain myself instead of just going quiet cause i dont know myself that well still kinda funny to know your own problems but not be able to jusy fix them when you know its a very deep problem even when it seems surface level and damn i got kinda personal there woops also just noticed that im shaking so might be overwhelmed remembering 5th grade which is probably why i frogot it or at least thought i did

anybody else feel that being human is like being a long-time syndicated cartoon character watching the world get more complex while your own design stays the same until youre incongruous with the reality around you??

[calamarispiderart]

been watching doctor who (2005) for the first time. umm. ?????? ??????????

[vivziepop-hazbin-over]

because im obsessed with gorillaz, id like to explain how an abused character should be written.

yes, we’re talking about murdoc. in his case, he was in a very abusive household and had no parental figured that taught him what was right and what was wrong, hence his abusive behavior. he learned that from his father. his hypersexuality came as a result of being sa’d when he was 9. hes been drinking since he was little. but hes not just this empty character whos only personality traits are mean but sexy character with a dark past who cries when jts brought up and doesnt change immediately (angel dust) and nothing else. no, we saw him change. and it was a slow process, sure, but theres a signifigant change in how he acts now compared to phase 1-3. we can see where his behaviors stemmed from and it is so well written.

this is how abused becomes the abuser should be done.

angel dust and stolas fall flat because they dont recognize their mistakes as being their fault, its always someone elses. angel dust sexually harasses people and stolas forces blitz to have sex with him so he can do his job. these are both inexcusable actions regardless of what anybody has been through, and so is murdoc’s actions. but the difference between them is murdoc recognizes what he did was wrong and knows its his fault.

this is how you should write characters who are abused. do research, make it realistic. not just ‘uwu soft sexy boy has trauma!!’

all of these three characters have done wrong, yes. no doubt about jt and all of their actions are inexcusable. in murdocs case, hes grown as a person. angel dust and stolas have not.

[primrosebow]

♡Finally!♡

I found the artttt :))) it took me a surprising hour and a half but it could have been worse, really.

Content warnings!: Uhm?? Suggestive? Actually nsfw I believe. I have never done this before AHWHAHWHD(ToT) this is like my third post of all time!

(Somewhat vaguely) inspired by @bigfatbimbo 's STELLAR fanfic about Lucifer (^ー^) my first moot of all of time!!!

Here goesss :))

I imagine he'd try to cover his mouth because the noises are getting uhm, a bit too loud.

I haven't, well, re-read the fic for the 103949202nd time recently and soon after I finish reading it the thing grows legs and exits my memory, so, it isn't all the way accurate to what happened in the fic since I don't remember if this exact position was featured, but, for a 3:45am drawing while I was unimaginably high and didn't even remember making until lunch time of the next day, I'd call this a pretty successful run

In case you're wondering where his wedding band went, I ate it. Lilith is going to have to go look for a new husband now, or learn how to deal with getting cucked(￣ｑ￣)ｚｚｚ

I will see you all soon I believe!

To the ones I already know: these 10 days just mean daily, regular posting. I will still be very much active when they're up! I honestly think I'll be more active; it'll just mean I have to wake up at 5:40am and will have a lot of free time on my way to campus. A lot of time to put the mind to work ehehehe :))

[bawmbo]

hi, thank you. youve opened a can of worms that cannot be closed

killer is such an interesting character to me. i realized that im not actually too sure where to start but ill start with his timeline;

the idea of a character whose home was slowly destroyed for reasons outside of their control and beyond what they couldve ever thought was real is an incredibly interesting concept to me. i also love psychological horror and reality breaking type of things in relation to it.

to be transformed into something outside of the bounds of definition, and live with the consequences of that, of your loss of autonomy is terrifying. to be named under that total loss is horrifying. to know that everybody will only know your name and never what you went through to get there, that no one would even really care. not that you could get yourself to. theres so much potential with the idea of someone who wants to drain your world of everything for entertainment, and they can forcefully recode it, and they do not care about you because you are just a game character to them. and you are the only one aware of this. and when youre taken out of the timeline by a strange man who can also forcefully shift your control of your situation, everyone will only know you as just as bad as him. as a murderer with no reason. and every time you look at this man (nightmare) all you can feel is the same hatred you feel for yourself. you cant help but feel like youre the same. but this isnt about nightmare as much as i really do love him and writing his character (also super passionate about him)

i have a lot of problems in general with his fandom portrayal and the fact that we either see him as portrayed as either incredibly childish, dumb, very sexualized, etc. and its okay to want to write him how you want to write him, have fun, just not our cup of tea

to us, hes incredibly agile, quiet. hes eerie and incredibly smart and much more aware of whats going on than he lets on. he has lost all respect for anyone who claims theyre more powerful than him, and the way he taunts is by bringing them back to his level (or just doing things he knows pisses them off but not enough to get him killed for it. massive staring problem and wont elaborate on it). and while he can be flirty, where i understand the sexualization comes from.

i think i just crave more in depth characterization from him. how terrifying he is during battles, how he knows the knives he fights with better than the air he breathes and the placement of his feet just as much. how he could be using his magic but its difficult to fight him even without it. the absence of what he could be doing and the presence of how difficult what he is doing showing through. his disconnection from the world around him and how hard it is to realize that everything around you is just codes. that everything is malleable in the wrong hands and everyone lives their lives blissfully unaware of how quickly things can change. and how he could be deeply angry by this but never actually feel it well in his chest like he sees with others. he isnt indifferent, and at some point, somewhere he might express that care. but he cant. and this is it. and he doesnt know how to move on from that.

maybe when he gets close to people his relationships end up showing slow signs of trust. when he does trust people is he surprised if they leave? how scared is he to depend on anyone when no one was ever there to? maybe one day he finally learns to sleep with his chest or back exposed and around people. and his version of hanging out is going "hey i know a spot" and its a 50 minute walk through a closed off forest but its beautiful. and youll probably get some diseases, just gotta hope you dont. the next place is probably a feral cat colony hiding in the sewers hes been feeding and slowly gaining the trust of. hes weird.

in general i really do love complex characters and think about them a lot. and i love seeing how complex characters can be written. i love exploring the possibilities with him and i find that when we either write him or collab stories where we write characters interacting with him, we have a lot of fun and end up thinking about him a lot.

my friend @nullandvalid is a big killer enthusiast too and if you send him an ask you could probably get a big rant too. (also @thaltro. both him and null write killer super well imo. been incredibly fun to listen to them talk about how they write him and engage in writing stories with them) thank you for giving me time to yap about it, ill probably be thinking of more in the meantime but this is all i have atm fhahaha

another one for fun, pretty experimental. this one was one of those "draw regardless of whether or not you think it looks good" things. swore to myself the next utmv character i drew and posted was gonna be fell but here we are. gonna try to get used to posting things that i dont consider my best work. hi killer love you dude

[littlest-bugz]

Man :( My uncle kinda bummed me out about my fantasy series.

He's like "well you need humans or elves or something that readers can already relate to" and I'm like

the 10+ species I made was for nothing? The species I made to replace the human population is just,,, irrelevant? Like damn :( I really broke my back making this fantasy realm for 8 years, and I have to change it entirely now because humans need to be there for 'relatability'?

My wee little heart is shattered,, Would literally anyone read a fantasy series that doesn't have humans or elves?

[awakenthebeing]

Just placing more arts and things and requests here, don't mind em too much <:3

[to-the-all-blue]

A curse turns the crew against Sanji a short time after Wano. It's subtle at first. Subtle enough that he chalks their weird behavior up to WCI. In his mind, he's sure the crew probably just feels uncomfortable around him after he betrayed them. So it doesn't matter that Usopp said something unusually cruel or that Nami threw a glass at him because, well, he understands that he fucked up. And they're his crew, right? He can bear it if that's what they need. Not to mention they're in the middle of the ocean, so it's not like he can leave and give them space.

Then it escalates. Then he's getting hurt. And he starts to realize this is something more. He tries to research it, but the crew won't let him. They gang up on him, making him work nonstop: taking every watch and cooking and repairing the ship and not being allowed to sleep and, and...It doesn't end. If he falters, they punish him. After only a couple weeks of this, he's left exhausted and in pain.

One day it comes to a head. Harsh words turn into a fight which turns into the crew ganging up on him as if he's an enemy combatant and he just can't. He sees them crowd him and he remembers his brothers and he stumbles. He's too exhausted to dodge, too scared of hurting them to fight back. So they get him pinned and are about to finish him off when...

Clarity.

They all wake up, suddenly. The curse is broken and Sanji is nearly dead on the ground between them and they remember.

[intotheelliwoods]

Little Sprout: what happened with big us?

Current Sprout: ................ *INCOHERENT SOBBING-*

yeahh- *sniffles*

[trainingdummyrabbit]

theres something about the temporary nature of death and general impermanence in the pmoonverse thats driving me fucking crazy but i dont know if i have the mind to dissect it

like... in lobcorp, death just happens. its background noise. its sad, sure, but you get used to it. you dont really get anything from caring about it other than being a little sadder than usual. if your favorite guy dies, you can just try the day again. and repeat, over and over, until you get what you want this time. its easy to fuck up, but its easy to fix, if you have the mind for it. textually, nobody Really dies there, though; given the records team's deal. everyone is always recorded, retrieved, removed at a whims notice. if you miss someone, you can put them back. or not. it doesnt really matter. its a face to a function, mostly.

and similar goes for ruina-- though theres less of an ability to truly "lose" someone. the library holds tight to those in its wings, as anyone can simply be put back together if something were to happen to them. and if things dont go right, you can simply try again. and again, and again, and again; you have all the time in the world, really, and the patience to wait for them to inevitably come back. decay doesnt really exist in a place like that, does it? even those that became books were simply put back somewhere-- Somewhere, but as they were. the library appears and then disappears just as quickly; leaving a mark intangible, not unlike a dream, but a mark nonetheless.

and with limbus, turning back the clock is the entire name of the game. you can fuck up however you want to, react however you want to, and well. if you die, dante will just put you back. easy peasy. theres caveats this time, but more or less, death is pretty much just a smack on the wrist at this point. a little more than that for dante, but well, theyre fine, so. whatever, right? of course. i cant speak for them as much as i can the others, but its very much there. look at it, its on the ceiling, and all.

and like, its. well its obvious from a gameplay standpoint, it makes the whole thing Work. but due to the diegetic nature of the whole thing, it weaves a strange sort of sensation. doesnt matter what happened, doesnt matter what mark it leaves-- youre fine. get up. again. especially with the framing character-- dante is the only one who kinda has to deal with the direct fallout of these actions (though, the narrative seems to stop looking at it after a point, which is understandable, but also still paints a picture.) x and angela mostly tend to overlook the whole process, directing rather than personally experiencing the whole thing.

idunno. these concies sure dont quence, or something

[imadhatt3r]

This is going to sound really weird, I know, but I seriously feel like there's a number of like, British communists who desperately wish they were Eastern European??? Like they think that by being into political side of communism (usually not the kind that existed in Eastern Europe), they can be chummy with people who actually grew up in Eastern Europe and were raised with the communist era somewhere in the background their whole life, usually without knowing the nitty gritty of theory but with a lot of cultural herritage from that time...

Like no, there's a big difference between being British, being raised in British culture, with cultural institutions, history, traditions, then getting into communist theory and just assuming that you know everything about life in communist Eastern Europe, and then pulling a "how do you do fellow commies" to people from Eastern Europe whose associations with communism are much different, and they will see you as detached and insensitive at best.

[libras-interactives]

Flynn being the bio father of our sweet and adorable son… damn, the drama. Thankfully he doesn’t seem interested in the boy, and I hope it continues that way. Don’t want our son intertwined with the illegal business growing up. Thankfully Flynn is a bad and neglectful father. The son will be fine as long as Flynn doesn’t take interest in my boy. 😭

Dont worry! Hes not remotely interested in dealing with an illegitimate child. Hes got a reputation to uphold and hates kids 🫡 and probably wouldnt believe anyone bringing a kid forward even if the tot looked identical to him

[nerosdayinanime]

"Im worried what people would think of you then, that you're just a personal whore or something- i don't want to ruin your reputation.."

"Are you kidding? 'My dick was so good i got promoted-' Thats the biggest flex i can think of!"

"Well, you're certaintly enthusiastic about this."

[sleepwalk-living]

me: i hate self insert and y/n fics so much- they're too intimate for a parasocial relationship and cross too many boundaries. SO cringey and kinda gross.

niall: im making fun of my fans for partaking in fanfiction by reading this self insert fic for cringe and comedic purposes.

me:

[jrueships]

Do u not ship tatum and brown 💔

[wildshadowtamer]

Fascinating how when you have a disorder, sometimes you see the ever-rare media representation that exactly fits your symptoms/traits, and you just fucking hate them. like for me the obvious example is Sheldon as "autism rep", but im sure this is a universal feeling for other disorders. like sometimes the character isnt even bad rep you just hate people with your personality.