#?? idk let me know if you want it tagged any other way
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sir-fenris Ā· 2 days ago
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Thank you for the tag :D <33
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1. What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it?Ā 
Honestly, my stories are more about feelings than "lessons". But if I have to pick... it is that kindness is strenght. Cyrus does not fight fire with fire, and despite all that happened to him, he has a gentle heart, and that requires so much strenght.
2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding?Ā 
Well, fuck XD, this is hard. The ideas kinda came to my mind? The words just came to my mind and I wrote them, but there were some whump stories that helped.
This was the original drabble that started the world-building, from @floral-comet-whump 's prompt.
Destroyer, by @paingoes was the first inspiration that came to mind <3, about how it works the role of a living weapon, and Cyrus&Wilson have traces of Delta&Martino XD. Also inspired me into doing different species in the story.
Also, for different species, I got some inspiration in DnD, but since I've never actually played it, I'm using it more as a species inspiration than a guide.
Fog and Furrow from @wildfaewhump and TJ and Danny from @tendertenebrosity also helped in inspiration for how the unwilling gifted in my world are treated in the military. Those stories are super cool, so they were there in the back of my mind as I decided how to do the system.
Liam by @just-horrible-things also helped in the same way as the path verse. I really liked the story, so it stuck with me while I was writing, helping me to build up the system.
Handler and Healer also by @just-horrible-things plays a part in a part of the story I didn't post about yet, but it's also an inspiration to how the militar settlement works and the system I made.
Thank you to everyone who I took as inspiration for world-building <33
There are certainly more stories I read and that were in the back of my mind, but I can't remember them now. Also, I do use a lot of prompts to help me guide the narrative, and I do end up building words around it.
There are more protagonists to my universe than Cyrus, because I want to show different views of the system, but that's only after Curse of Withering (Cyrus story) is complete.
3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness or help the reader grow as a person?Ā 
Cyrus just wants peace. And in a way, so do I.
Guess the story is not much more than a whump/comfort story meant to entertain XD. I want to share my work, and Curse of Withering just took the first place.
4. How many chapters is your story going to have?Ā 
You're gonna ask me that so soon? :')
I have around 10 half-planned, but honestly there's no way for me to tell. It's gonna have as many chapters as it needs to for me to show all I want to show about Cyrus and the universe he's in.
5. Is it fan fiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?Ā 
Original. And here on Tumblr :D. Might post on Ao3, but not sure.
6. When did you start writing?Ā 
This story in specific? Ahhhm... 2 weeks ago? I don't remember, but it's pretty recent.
In general? The first story I created, I was 7, the first time I wrote one, I was... idk, maybe 10? Around that age.
I'm bad at counting time, you can tell.
7. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?
I follow more than 50 writers, I have a really long list of "to read" :'), so I can't name all of them.
But words of encouragement... I think what Alia said is top tier. Write for yourself! You can still crave interaction and want people to read your work, but first comes yourself. Write for yourself, and only after let yourself look at others, or else it'll feel like a duty you'll always be anxious about.
And don't overthink. Kinda hard, I know. But trust me, theres ALWAYS someone who will like it. No matter what it is about or how well/basly written it is. Add the whole amount of tags Tumblr allows you to add, make sure it all is in your work, and someone looking for that will find you eventually.
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I think everyone I would add already has been added? If any of my moots want to take this as an invitation, here you go :D
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Tag Game: Author Ask Tag
thxxxxxxx @sacratos for the tag!
Question Template: 1. What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it? 2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding? 3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness or help the reader grow as a person? 4. How many chapters is your story going to have? 5. Is it fan fiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it? 6. When did you start writing? 7. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?
1. What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it?Ā 
Donā€™t be an idiot and actually communicate with those you love, lol. In all seriousness, I donā€™t know if my story has a main theme, but there are several themes for sure. The importance of having family that loves and supports you (whether found or biological), taking back autonomy of oneself, and the importance of community.
2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding?Ā 
Other BBU/pet whump authors! If you have written for the BBU, trust me, I have used some idea of yours as inspiration somewhere. I also use middle school meā€™s obsession with dystopian novels as inspiration as well.
3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness or help the reader grow as a person?Ā 
All my MCs are trying to heal, in one way or another and I want my readers to connect with my characters in some way. Not really teaching a lesson or having some big, major theme, but I want my characters to feel real and connect with the readers (yes, even if you want to kill them you cannot touch Star, he is immune from death)
4. How many chapters is your story going to have?Ā 
Hahahaha ha ha ha. . . yeah, no clue
5. Is it fan fiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?Ā 
Original content from my brain! I post it here, and only here
6. When did you start writing?Ā 
The minute I learned what stories were. I think I wrote my first ā€œstoryā€ (bible fanfiction. No I will not be taking questions about that) when I was about seven or so, then my first full fanfiction at nine and I have not stopped since.Ā 
7. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?
Read! Seriously, I cannot stress this enough! Read! And not just to compare yourselves with other writersā€“please donā€™t do that at allā€“but read to see how others write emotion, descriptions, characters, plots! Take what you like and figure out why you donā€™t like other kinds of writing, then apply what you want to your own writing. Also, your writing voice will develop in time. Donā€™t worry about that.
A large chunk of people I follow are writers! Canā€™t list all of them here, but they know who they are and their writings have inspired and shaped both my style and my content. Ilyasm!Ā 
Tagging (w/o any pressure!) @quietly-by-myself @whump-card @sparrowsage @whumble-beeee @whumpyourdamnpears and anyone else who wants to join in!
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crownedwille Ā· 2 months ago
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For once I'm begging for fics with crown prince Wilhelm in it where that's not just portrayed as a bad thing where he is miserable and he and Simon are struggling but where it can work out and be good šŸ˜©
Or give me fics where you have the s3 ending but it didn't solve everything and they don't live a happy 'normal' life and have struggles. Both should be possible, there is not just one option for the way you can write those two outcomes. That's what fanfiction is for - to create and explore different alternatives. I see so many s1 or s2 canon divergence fics but where are the s3 canon divergence fics? Please, I'm begging šŸ˜©
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autisticlee Ā· 7 months ago
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask ā€œwhyā€ and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might ā€œhurtā€ you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not ā€œthe 'tismā€ or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad šŸ˜‚ but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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james-spooky Ā· 4 months ago
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this is a test
#iā€™m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters thatā€™s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring letā€™s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk iā€™m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad thatā€™s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isnā€™t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw thereā€™s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i donā€™t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like iā€™m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much itā€™s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books theyā€™re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry thatā€™s made everything a bit messy. i shouldā€™ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think youā€™re being annoying i literally donā€™t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now itā€™s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i donā€™t really have any thoughts to put here idk if weā€™re halfway ermmmm omg itā€™s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. itā€™s wild how itā€™s basically almost christmas. like#what. thatā€™s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesnā€™t crash or#smth cause iā€™ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but iā€™ve saved it and holy jesus itā€™s a lot of text im just sat here giggling thereā€™s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldnā€™t that be crazy) so wait thereā€™s 140#haracters and 30 tags so whatā€™s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i havenā€™t done maths lessons in two and a half years iā€™ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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lemurballing Ā· 2 months ago
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the difference between good whispangle and bad whispangle is the difference between trusting each other the most and only trusting each other. between getting stuck in the past or letting the future embrace you. between holding a close bond and being desperate for each otherā€™s company. between being a pair and being a unit.
good whispangle is tangle helping whisper stay in the present and future, and whisper being a guiding hand, a steadying of tangleā€™s impulse, and the both of them making choices that help and comfort the other.
bad whispangle is tangle getting dragged into dwelling on the past with whisper, is tangle being made to overstep instead of minding the lines she should be able to see, and whisper sinking into a mire that tangle follows her into instead of pulling her from. is putting them together ā€˜because theyā€™re whispangleā€™ and forgetting why they were loved together in the first place. is keeping them together because theyā€™re whispangle, even when they trod on the other.
and the difference is,
that if it starts out bad and becomes better, itā€™s satisfying, heartening.
but to start out excellent and then get worse and decay, feels like a smear or a stain on top of a beloved work.
a natural decay can be done, but weĀ wantĀ them to be good together, to bring out the best in each other instead of enabling the worst. if we want to see decay, it is because it makes sense for one or both of them to be driven off-balance and start messing with the other, we want one or both of them to realize this, and we want them to have to jump-start and kick aside and course-correct and come out all the better, for having broken their flaws open and mended them with gold.
we donā€™t want to see them broken apart and stuck back together with cheap glitter glue.
#somewhat critical so im not tagging them. and its under a readmore. if you see this thru search i love early whispangle &#im not sold on recent dynamics with the ā€˜neo diamond cuttersā€™ (please use any other name - even if it sounds stupid like ā€˜ruby tusslersā€™)#some of them. some of the other bits of their recent dynamic are so good. but itā€™s a mixed bag#mostly i am a person who loves characters to be capable of being independent. and functioning by their lonesome#idk like i can see tangle being desperate & wanting whisper to stay. what i CANT see if her going ā€˜lets be the diamond cutters!ā€™#esp without asking whisper.#like you can try and justify it ā€˜shes trying to keep their memory alive as a positive reminder instead of a dead nameā€™#and i agree that that is justifiable but i just dont like the decision. it doesnt add enough for what it takes away to me#additionally i feel like if tangle & whisper were just the main characters they wouldnt have so many issues (ha. issues. comic)#but because theyā€™re sometimes just absent for 3-10 issues at a time because other characters get a turn#& important developments or open-ended storylines are left bare as bone. (what did tangle do to search for whisper? where did she go?)#if youā€™re trying to give tangle complicated feelings and have her muse over things & explicitly be supposed to#be considering reforming a ā€˜diamond cuttersā€™ during the time sheā€™s missing whisper. she should have explicitly been considering that#instead of 0 to ā€˜lets reuse the traumatic name with no warningā€™. whisper not knowing? sure. the audience having no clue? bleh.#fair warning i am typing this at 12:30am with a mild headache so maybe i dont make sense#naturally a disclaimer that if you like this go you!! i would be interested in hearing why you like it#but i donā€™t like it the way iā€™m currently seeing it
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vet-student Ā· 10 months ago
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The art: The artist:
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autistic-shaiapouf Ā· 2 years ago
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Mystery bugs in my home and I don't recognize them! I've seen a few around at this point and might make a more formal post about it tomorrow but, mystery bugs below the cut if anyone wants to take a shot at helping me ID them:
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Not the best pics but it's got an abdomen with clear markings that make me think either roach or earwig, but photos of the nymphs of either don't seem to be matching up; granted I only looked for maybe 5 minutes and mightve missed something obvious but this guy's not ringing any bells for me
#I'm about to head to bed and have quarantined the perpetrator; i feel a little bad but i dont know what he is yet#I'd feel comfortable letting an earwig or smthn like that hang out but. i have reasonable suspicion hanging around this man#bc the apartment is a little messy and. if he is a roach i may bail and look for another room U_U full respect to them#ive seen lots of pet roaches and they make me quite happy to see but idk if I want them free roaming my house...#especially knowing i can't kill them; last time i killed bugs it was a bunch of ants in the pantry and it took an emotional toll on me šŸ˜­#I'd go the long and intensive route if it means i can keep them all alive but i know a lot of people don't swing that way#in that particular case i figured my roommates would prefer the ants to not be able to come back + the way to the backyard#door I would have taken them out of wasn't easily accessible so. massacre it was U_U#if you wanted to know ANYTHING about the type of person i am know that i physically cannot kill a bug or else I'll start crying#they're literally just little guys they're just existing!!! i can't punish them for just hanging out!!!! anyways#unfortunately small photogenic man may perish in captivity but that may afford better photo ops hmmmmm#i just need the knowledge base before i make any other judgements#you know what. let's put this in some tags actually; i was gonna formally rewrite this but may as well tag while I'm here#bugs#bugblr#insect identification#hoatm rants#I'm not overly concerned but ive seen a number of these inside now and this is the first one that's made its way to my room
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hydrossity-zone Ā· 8 days ago
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hi, would you consider being paid to draw toxic sonadow breakup/divorce?
..anon I have good news
#hey so uh a bit of a warning for the following tags it gets. heavy#BUT TLDR I ALREADY DO THIS AND IF YOU WANNA PAY ME FOR IT THATS AWESOME#things get a bit tmi at the end too so just dont unroll the tags if you dont want that ig#idk hkw to tell you this but Velocity is nothing *but* toxic sonadow#like. theres the scene where Sonic beats Shadow to near-death with a tire iron.#theres multiple occasions where Sonic unironically tells Shadow to kill himself. domestic violence is a pretty recurring thing#Shadow almost kills Sonicā€™s two-week old infant and only stops himself bc he knows nobody would ever forgive him if he did#theyre severely codependent on eachother and when Sonic even *suggests* that hey this is unhealthy we need to stay apart for a while#Shadow gets so overwhelmed at the thought of a breakup that his only thought is to stop it from occurring by any means possible (kill Sonic#and a lot of other shit. Sonic makes it a routine habit of coming to kill this guy every couple of weeks for DECADES#and can get away with it bc neither of them can actually die so theres no real consequence#and Shadow just lets it happen and sometimes doesnt even fight back since technically he doesnt deserve to lay a hand on him after what hes#done to him#ALL IM SAYING IS I ALREADY DO THIS LMAOOO#I have. a lot of cynicism regarding romantic relationships especially considering the two Ive had ended so badly#(IT WASNT EVEN MY FAULT AND I KNEW I WAS ARO THE SECOND TIME I TRIED TO MAKE IT WORK I REALLY DID I wanted us to still be friends#and at some point I realized the only way theyd let things remain amicable is if I let it be a codependent relationship#I didnt want to. but Id lose them as both a partner and a friend if I didnt bc they didnt want to cut things off even though I knew things#were going to shit. BASICALLY I HAVE. A LOT of stuff to project that I like to slip in#its just more interesting and tragic if things are a bit toxic and/or codependent! okay!#so I like doing it. sorry.#ask#anon
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sttoru Ā· 11 months ago
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Ā·.āŒ‡ š’š˜ššŽšš’šˆš’. youā€™ve been one of sukunaā€™s many concubines for quite a while now. yet, you still cannot get rid of the jealousy in your system whenever he interacts with the other women in his harem.
wc. idk around 1 to 2k
tags. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. angst (hurt to comfort), fluff, suggestive at the end. heian era. you call sukuna ā€˜my lordā€™. reader gets called ā€˜brat, little girlā€™. size difference. no part2, donā€™t ask i beg. not beta read.
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ā€œget back here, brat,ā€ sukuna raises his voice as he follows you. he isnā€™t one to care about othersā€™ emotional outbursts, yet here he is, chasing you after youā€™ve poured out your heart to him.
you donā€™t know why youā€™re this upset. you do know, however, that itā€™s childish of you to walk away mid dinner. you shouldā€™ve just stayed seated and refuse to let the thoughts consume you.
now youā€™re speed walking down the hallways of the estateā€”your legs carrying you as fast as they can without actually making a run for it. your mind keeps replaying the ā€˜unsettlingā€™ scene that caused you to flee.
you remember it vividly. the sound of sukunaā€™s low, amused chuckle. how intrigued it was because of something another concubine told himā€”how he stopped chewing to say something back to her. which he rarely does.
hell, youā€™ve never seen him laugh around his other concubines.
ā€œi do not wish to talk to you right now, my lord,ā€ you reply, voice raised so the distance wouldnā€™t make it a hassle for the king of curses to hear you. you know that feisty attitude of yours entertains sukuna to no end.
he raises an eyebrow once heā€™s heard your voice; how itā€™s dripping with envy and hurt. youā€™ve never reacted like that beforeā€”at least not in his presence. it made him want to figure out why and how.
though, he can easily guess the reasoning behind your sudden defiance.
ā€œoh, that so?ā€ sukuna hums. heā€™s lenient with you this time around. he could catch up to you in under a split second, but he decides to give you that sense of accomplishment first before completely destroying it. he walks after you slowly, your fast steps being the same tempo as his slow pace.
you donā€™t answer. youā€™re stubborn. you have no right to feel jealous. you are a fairly new concubineā€”only a couple months ago did you join sukunaā€™s harem. yet, the time spent with him was precious.
he treats you differently. everyone notices that. everyone tells you the same. you know he does by the way he lets you off the hook with most stuff you say and do.
you donā€™t know what you did to gain his favouritsm, but itā€™s addicting. his attention is addictive. real addictive.
you had sworn not to develop any unneccessary feelings for that ruthless sorcerer. but, with the way sukuna treated you so gently behind closed doors, it was impossible not to.
you eventually reach the doors to your chambers. you slide them open and wish to close them behind you, only for a big hand to halt those movements. you freeze in place and refuse to look up at the owner of that said hand.
ā€œlook up,ā€ sukuna demands. his voice causes goosebumps to appear on your arms, but you still don't budge. he clicks his tongue. thatā€™s your first warning. two more and your punishment will be carried out, ā€œwe can do this the hard way too if you want.ā€
you turn your head, your fingers curling around the material of your kimono. you really should not feel this way about a little interaction between sukuna and his other concubine. that is none of your concern. what he does with those other women is none of your concern.
and yet. . .
ā€œi don't want to,ā€ you retort. sukuna walks into your room with a sigh. each step he takes forwards, you take backwards. your back finally bumps against the wall next to your bed.
sukuna towers over you, his tall and big frame making you feel vulnerable. especially with the way those red eyes of his are staring down at you. he crosses all four of his arms before speaking.
ā€œtell me whatā€™s running through that head of yours,ā€ sukuna inquires sternly. he isnā€™t playing around anymore, you can tell. you glance the other wayā€”knowing that he will laugh at you the moment you tell him why youā€™re upset.
you have a feeling he knows the reason behind your tantrum anyway.
ā€œitā€™s nothing of importance, my lord,ā€ you shake your head and relax your tense shoulders to make you seem less upset. your words have some truth in themā€”you donā€™t think your feelings of envy hold any value to him.
sukuna sighs again. heā€™s trying his best not to be annoyed at you. youā€™re his favorite and he wishes not to sadden you any further. he steps forwards, one hand moving to cup the side of your face.
his rough fingers play with a string of your hair, ā€œiā€™m not stupid, little girl. i donā€™t like it when my woman is in distress.ā€
your heart skips a beat. this is what confuses youā€”how he can go from stern to gentle and vice versa. itā€™s surprisingly unexpected, which makes you long for more. even if his behaviour is confusing.
you look up at sukuna. your eyes meet for the first time in a good couple minutes. the corner of sukunaā€™s lips curls up into a satisfied smirk. thatā€™s one step closer to getting you to open up.
ā€œnow,ā€ the king of curses lowers his head to your eye level, the proximity all the more nerve wracking. he holds your jaw super tightly out of the blue. it makes you whimper.
ā€œspit it out.ā€
there it is. the duality of the man strikes once more. you swallow the spit thatā€™s been building up in your mouth. you bite your bottom lip lightly, trying to gather and form the right words to explain yourself.
sukuna wouldnā€™t understand. heā€™s a cold-hearted man who doesnā€™t care about such ā€˜trivialā€™ matters. heā€™ll just call you stupid, pathetic or whatever other derogatory term.
you stop your thoughts for a moment.
ā€œitā€™s really just a stupid thing,ā€ you mutter. your fingers curl around sukunaā€™s wristā€”the one hand heā€™s using to firmly hold your jaw. you take a deep breath in, ā€œi did not like it when you, errr. . . when that woman talked to you at the dinner table.ā€
your voice is clearly dripping with jealousy. pure, pure jealousy. and for what? because he talked to his other concubine. you feel stupid. you thought you discarded your personal feelings for the sorcerer before you the moment you turned into one of his many women.
ā€œthat woman?ā€ sukuna tilts his head, feigning ignorance. that little grin on his face tells you enough. heā€™s playing with you like some form of entertainment. well, technically you are.
he wants you to be specific. heā€™s forcing you to be by acting like he doesnā€™t know what youā€™re talking about.
in all honesty, sukunaā€™s already forgotten what that woman had said to him. it wasnā€™t and still isnā€™t worth remembering. all he can recall is your adorable facial expression when you saw him interact like that with his other concubine.
that little frown on your face was priceless. it makes him want to keep teasing you.
ā€œyou know who i am talking about, my lord,ā€ you huff, trying to look away, but get stopped by sukuna readjusting his grip on your jaw. he firmly yet gently taps your cheek once and you know what it means.
ā€œattitude,ā€ sukuna warns with a quick hiss. he can let you say whatever you want to him, but you also have some limits regarding which tone you use with him. you apologise quietly under your breath.
the king of curses nods in satisfaction before releasing the grip on your jaw. his large hand trails down to your neck, thumb rubbing up and down your throat, ā€œso, my little girl is mad at me because i talked to another concubine of mine, huh?ā€
you nod mindlessly. sukuna can easily get you to comply with himā€”to obey his every word, simply with his actions. the terms of endearment he uses are the cherry on top. they slip off his tongue so easily with you.
ā€œtsk tsk,ā€ sukuna shakes his head. his hand is now on the back of your head, fingers tangled into your hair. heā€™s staring down at you with a smug expression. he knows heā€™s got you wrapped around his finger, ā€œhow childish of you.ā€
you knew that would be one of the things heā€™d say to you. what you didnā€™t expect is for him to go for a kiss right after. his lips land on yours firmly, and to no surprise, you instantly return the gesture.
your arms wrap around his neckā€”your chest pressing against his. sukuna wastes no time in picking you up and letting your legs encircle his waist. heā€™s not pulling away for air to breathe and you donā€™t either.
ā€œyouā€™re going to listen to me, yeah?ā€ sukuna murmurs between passionate kisses. heā€™s holding onto you tightly with two arms, his free hands roaming over your body whilst he pins you against the wall.
when you whimper out a weak, high-pitched ā€˜yes, my lordā€™, he smirks against your mouth before turning to kiss your neck. he slightly bites the skin to make sure youā€™re paying attention to him.
ā€œi donā€™t remember what that woman said,ā€ sukuna continues, nearly out of breath because of the kisses heā€™s leaving all over you. he easily grabs both your wrists and pins them above your head on the wall, ā€œi was too busy lookinā€™ at a much prettier concubine of mine.ā€
he pulls back a little so he can look you in the eyes. youā€™re panting and embarrassed by what he just said. one of his hands finds your face again, tracing the shape of your mouth.
ā€œmy favourite,ā€ sukuna whispers whilst licking his lips. you can see it in his eyes: heā€™s silently planning out how heā€™s going to remind you of your place. your place as his favorite concubine.
he dips his head back down, aiming for the valley between your breasts. he closes his eyes before sucking on the surrounding flesh;
ā€œguess iā€™ll be nice for once ā€˜nd show you just what it means to be my favorite so that youā€™ll never dare forget it again.ā€
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the-kipsabian Ā· 2 years ago
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i just really need to hear its okay if i dont hit some goals i set for myself for this week. or ever, really
#i know i shouldnt be pushing myself if especially my mental health cant take it but i just feel bad for not doing things#and its even stupider cause this is about something as silly as writing. like i really wanted to get two fics done this week#and i have one written i just gotta edit it. and another one is all planned out so its just the matter of working on things#cause i wanna move to some other stuff and hitting a 50 fics in a rarepair tag would have been a nice milestone to reach this week maybe#but i just dont think i can do that. and its silly and its stupid but i feel so bad about it#i know i shouldnt and i dont owe anyone any of this and ppl dont expect anything from me in this regard but like#idk it just feels bad that i dont think i can do that after being so ready and excited for it#like.. my depression is so paralyzing. im barely getting through things i absolutely have to. let alone things i wanna do and find fun#i dont know where i was going with this. i just want to hear its okay if im slacking off cause i cant do anything#i know mental health issues and depression and such do this. but even knowing that it just makes me feel worse tbh#like oh. im not strong enough to resist any of this. my brain fucking sucks im a failure#and i know thats a wrong way to think that but again.. depressed anxiety brain. what are you gonna do really#so like.. yeah. i dont know im just trying to get through stuff day by day at this point. idk if it worth it but im trying. desperately#clinging to the little bit of fleeting happiness i have in the horizon#idk. im gonna do something to distract myself and eat cookies. carry on#night is an absolute mess on main
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starlightkyeom Ā· 5 months ago
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building blocks | yjh
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(agreeing to be the teaching assistant is the last thing you want in a semester where you're already swamped with work. but, you need a letter of recommendation from the professor and you're out of other options. enter jeonghan, the menace who signs up for the class seemingly on a whim and disrupts your entire routine.)
pairing: master's student!jeonghan x TA!f!reader genre: university!au, strangers to loveres | fluff, minor angst, attempt at humor, smut rating: explicit, minors DNI word count: 19.7k (idk what to say atp) warnings: mentions of eating and drinking, jeonghan briefly drives a motorcycle, they're both engineering students but i don't claim to know engineering, the angst is minor because there's some miscommunication smut warnings: lots of kissing, hand job, fingering, slight voyeurism? (jeonghan watches reader finger herself), kind of loser!jeonghan, missionary sex, nothing really crazy all things considered
a/n: this is for the TA collab hosted by the amazing @camandemstudios. those two have been working so hard on this and i can't wait to read all the fics. but go easy on me because i know next to nothing about structural engineering. credit to @caelesjjk for this banner, it's so amazing šŸ„° also thank you to everyone that helped me brainstorm along the way @ugh-yoongi @haologram @highvern and of course to @wqnwoos for letting me borrow her name.
note 2: this isnā€™t proofread. i had something come up irl and wanted to get it posted, so iā€™m sorry for any errors! iā€™ll come back to it next week when i have a minute.
(tag list at the end)
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Your entire academic (and professional, for that matter) career has been a battle. A fight to be taken seriously. A fight to get the right classes. A fight to make the right connections. A fight for every inch that youā€™ve gotten. There are times that you wonder if itā€™s all worth it, wonder if anything should be as hard as this. But, all youā€™ve ever wanted was to be an engineer. To be able to leave your mark in some sort of meaningful way, even if thatā€™s also a little conceited. Itā€™s all you want and youā€™re so close to getting some much needed room to breathe.Ā 
Exceptā€¦
You have to make it through one last semester of this damn Masterā€™s program. You managed to find a sponsor to allow you to commit to a final semester full time, with only part time research work. Thatā€™ll put you in a good position to carry on for your PhD, with your dissertation topic already picked and funded. Things had been going entirely too smoothly, in hindsight. You should have known. Everything about your application to the upcoming program is perfect. Except for the final recommendation. And, of course, the professor to give that recommendation wonā€™t just give it to you to recognize the years youā€™ve put into this. No. He implies that thereā€™s something he needs from you.
Nothing really awful, in the grand scheme of things. Not for someone that does want to return as a lecturer at some point down the road. Itā€™s just that you didnā€™t really want to be forced into a teaching assistant position for Professor Choiā€™s introductory structural engineering course. Itā€™s the course that weeds out whoā€™s actually going to carry on with the civil engineering branch of the Masterā€™s program from those who may switch out to something that better suits them. Which, again, isnā€™t a huge deal, except that you remember how burnt out the TA looked from when you took the course and itā€™s the last thing you need during your final semester. Itā€™s hard to know that some portion of your future hinges on doing this. Itā€™s also hard to forget another friend of yours admitting Professor Choi had given him a recommendation without the hoops.
Whatever.
What doesnā€™t kill you makes you stronger and all that.Ā 
So you schedule your regular meetings with the professor, make a separate email folder for all course related communication, jot down the important dates, and figure out which lessons you have to help plan. First up is going to be the introductory class. Professor Choi comes in and introduces himself while you distribute the syllabus, an odd task when everything is available online through the portal, but he likes things in hard copy. Once heā€™s done his introduction, he leaves the rest of the first class to you, as he had with the TA in your course during your first semester. For a moment, you consider pointing out that this is a Masterā€™s level course and you donā€™t really need to do the typical introductions. Most of these people have busy lives and, even though theyā€™ll have to work together on projects, can manage without syllabus week. But, Choi is old school and you know it. You also need his letter, so whatā€™s the point in trying to change his system? Youā€™re not here to do anything other than fill a spot that he was having trouble filling, get your letter, and go.Ā 
When you scan the roster before the first day, nobody particularly sticks out. There are a couple of relatively familiar names, though youā€™re not sure you can place faces to them, but most of the students seem to be in their first semester of the program. It only takes getting to the introductions for someone in the course to stick out, though.
ā€œWell, Iā€™ve always been good at building Legos. I figure, how different can it really be?ā€ one student answers.
It takes everything in you to school your face back into a politely interested expression when the rest of the class bursts out laughing. Your initial reaction had been incredulity. Surely he couldnā€™t be serious. Thereā€™s no way someone just wandered into this program because he liked building Legos. The laughter from the rest of the class dies down and you keep your attention on him.
ā€œWhy did you really join the program?ā€ you ask. Thatā€™s what every student was supposed to be sharing. A problem for this student, apparently.
ā€œThat is why I joined,ā€ he says with an infuriating smirk.Ā 
ā€œWhat did you say your name was?ā€ you ask.
ā€œJeonghan,ā€ he answers without anything else.
You consult the roster in front of you and put a star by his name. This is someone you know youā€™re going to have to keep an eye on.Ā 
ā€œDid I get a star already?ā€ he prompts, earning another few chuckles from his classmates.
ā€œSomething like that,ā€ you say and then turn to the person next to him. ā€œAnd why did you join?ā€
Nothing else grabs your attention during the remainder of the introductions. Several students volunteer what theyā€™re hoping to get out of the program. One brave student says sheā€™s heard that Professor Choi is tough before asking for your opinion. Although you give a neutral answer, you make a note to speak to her privately to address her (very valid) concerns.Ā 
When it comes time for you to return to speaking about the rest of the semester, you expect Jeonghan to interrupt in some way. He gives the impression of someone that likes causing a little bit of chaos or bringing attention to himself. Instead, he simply listens, notes something down occasionally, and gazes at you so intently that you nearly feel yourself flush. It would be a lot easier to ignore him if he didnā€™t look like some kind of model, though. You catch yourself looking at him more than once when other students are sharing answers. His nearly black hair falls in longer layers around his face, not quite reaching his collar in the back. Thereā€™s something almost delicate about his nose, about all of his face, really. His features are soft in a sort of beautiful way. Itā€™s only when he catches you looking that you shake any consideration of his features from your mind.Ā 
Once thereā€™s only a few minutes left, you dismiss the class with a reminder that your email is beneath Professor Choiā€™s on the syllabus and youā€™re always around to help them. This class, you share, can be daunting and youā€™re here to help them get through it in one piece. That part comes out genuine because you do mean it. None of these students are to blame for the position youā€™re in. Itā€™s not their fault that they have a TA that doesnā€™t really want to be in the position. So, youā€™re not going to make them suffer. Youā€™re going to help them just as the TA for your class helped you. You make a note to reach out to him and ask for some advice.
Jeonghanā€™s eyes linger on you as the other students get out of their seats and begin talking, mostly about what theyā€™re most excited for in the coming semester. You have to break first and look down to collect some papers from the desk. It also helps to remind yourself this is the same student who said he joined the class because he likes Legos. Ridiculous. When you look back up at the class, youā€™re half expecting to see his attention is still on you. Itā€™s not. Heā€™s joined a few classmates and is leaving the room without a backward glance.Ā 
Legos, you remind yourself, and return to gathering your things.Ā 
The one good thing about all this is that itā€™s an evening course, designed for people that have to work during the day. When the class is over, you get to go straight home to eat dinner and meld into the couch with your roommate, who also happens to be your best friend.Ā 
You: iā€™m tired, want me to pick up food on the way home?
Bestie boo: i already called in an order from that one place you like so you can pick it up on the way homeĀ 
You: wow who are you and what have you done with my best friend?
Bestie boo: i didnā€™t pay for it
You let out a snort because thatā€™s exactly the friend you know and love. He has to cover up ordering your favorite food from your favorite restaurant, which is sweet, by reminding you heā€™s still a giant pain in the ass. The gesture is enough for you to ignore it and just let him have this win. Maybe youā€™re off your game, but youā€™re a little tired.
ā€œYou should watch where youā€™re going.ā€Ā 
The comment nearly makes you jump out of your skin. Sure, you scare easily as it is. But itā€™s worse when the voice comes out of seemingly nowhere. Of course itā€™s Jeonghan from your class, leaning against the wall just outside the building. His eyes glint at your reaction, like heā€™s enjoying it. Maybe he is. A second later, he pushes off from the wall to come closer.Ā 
ā€œAnd you shouldnā€™t scare people like that,ā€ you retort when your heart slows a bit. Heā€™s looking at you conspiratorially. ā€œDid you have a question from the class?ā€Ā 
ā€œNo,ā€ he answers easily.Ā 
ā€œSoā€¦ā€ you start.Ā 
ā€œDo you memorize the faces of all your students so quickly?ā€ he wonders, continuing when you give him an odd look. ā€œOr am I special?ā€Ā 
ā€œYou made an impression,ā€ you say neutrally.
ā€œA positive one?ā€ he presses.
ā€œI didnā€™t say that,ā€ you counter.
ā€œBut, still, you remembered me. Unless you learn all your students' faces before class as TA duties,ā€ he says.
You sigh and decide to give him a partial truth, one thatā€™s less likely to bite you than admitting his face is one of the only ones you remember. ā€œI havenā€™t been a TA before so I donā€™t have a manual for how Iā€™m going to approach it.ā€Ā 
ā€œHappy I get to be your first, then,ā€ he says and turns to walk away. He turns back over his shoulder with a wicked smile and calls, ā€œsee you next class!ā€Ā 
Your mind is preoccupied all the way to the restaurant to pick up the food and all the way back to your apartment. Itā€™s only been one day of class and you can already feel that this student is going to be a menace. Worse than that, he seems like he knows heā€™s getting under your skin and wants to press it even further. Realistically, you just have to get through any of the classes that you lead. Otherwise, heā€™ll be the professorā€™s issue.Ā 
Seungkwan is waiting on the couch, aimlessly scrolling on his phone when you walk into the living room, takeout containers in hand. Itā€™s relatively familiar, though you know that he also likes to be out whenever he can. A perpetual social butterfly.Ā 
ā€œToday was already fucking annoying,ā€ you moan when you set the boxes down and flop onto the couch.
Seungkwan gives you a sympathetic look. ā€œAt least youā€™re one step closer to getting what you need from that idiot.ā€
Youā€™re confused for a moment because you hadnā€™t been thinking of Professor Choi at all. ā€œOh, yeah, no. I wasnā€™t talking about Choi.ā€Ā 
ā€œWhat was the issue then?ā€ Seungkwan asks as he leans forward to get his food.
ā€œThereā€™s this guy in the class and I donā€™t know. I canā€™t figure him out,ā€ you offer. ā€œHeā€™s so annoying. Like who signs up for a structural engineering class just because he likes building Legos? And that smirk. Ugh. I hate him.ā€
ā€œSure sounds like it,ā€ Seungkwan quips.Ā 
ā€œFuck off, I do,ā€ you double down.Ā 
ā€œWhatā€™s he look like? Is he cute?ā€ he wonders.
ā€œDoes it matter?ā€ you ask.
ā€œNo. You answered anyway,ā€ Seungkwan says with a grin.
ā€œFine, yes he is attractive because for some reason Iā€™ve been cursed. Why do all you annoying people in my life also have to be hot?ā€ you whine, casting a look at your roommate.
ā€œDid you just call me hot?ā€ he barks through a laugh.Ā 
ā€œFuck off, just pick a show. Itā€™s your turn,ā€ you say with a push on his arm.Ā 
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You make it through the first few classes as a TA without much to report. Jeonghan tries your patience, but thereā€™s not much he can do during the class and he doesnā€™t linger afterwards. Thatā€™s usually when Professor Choi wants to debrief on the course material and make sure the next class is ready. The class is also just starting to get into the real material and away from the foundational information.Ā 
But, now the course is well and truly underway, which means you have to announce that youā€™ll be starting to hold your own office hours every week. Of course, Choi also has office hours and students could take advantage of those. Probably would, if not for the fact that he encourages the class to go to you first to try and resolve anything. Something about how heā€™s very busy and thatā€™s why he has a TA. Itā€™s exhausting and just another obstacle in getting what you need.Ā 
After getting feedback from the class, you decide to set two different times for office hours, one during the late afternoon and one during the early evening to accommodate schedules. A few students show up right at the start of your first office hours session with similar concerns. So, you invite them in and start to work through a few practice problems to illustrate the point that theyā€™re struggling to understand. Itā€™s actually surprisingly easy to work in this way. You would never admit it to Professor Choi, but itā€™s actually kind of enjoyable. Thereā€™s value in helping someone understand a difficult concept. Itā€™s also really rewarding to watch the comprehension dawn on the faces around you as each of them seems to grasp what youā€™re saying.Ā 
Honestly, you canā€™t imagine your first office hours going any better when youā€™re already an hour into it and youā€™ve been working with the same three students. Of course, just as theyā€™re gathering their things to head out, feeling more confident than when they showed up, Jeonghan appears in the doorway. He doesnā€™t even say anything at first, just looks around at the other students. They seem oblivious to whatā€™s happening around them.
ā€œThanks again,ā€ one student says as heā€™s standing up.
Another student catches sight of Jeonghan and she smiles. ā€œOh, sorry Jeonghan. We didnā€™t know you were having trouble with any of the concepts or we would have asked you to join us.ā€Ā 
ā€œThatā€™s fine,ā€ he says easily. ā€œI was busy until just now anyway.ā€Ā 
ā€œDo you all feel confident with the topics? Or would you like to stay and go over something now that Jeonghan is here?ā€ you ask, trying not to appear hopeful. (And failing at that pretty miserably.)
ā€œOh no, weā€™re definitely set. And we had plans,ā€ the first student says with a look over at Jeonghan.
The three of them exchange goodbyes with Jeonghan and head out, allowing Jeonghan to close the door behind them before plopping into a seat at the table in your office. Heā€™s directly across from you, which makes it hard to avoid his eyes. When you do meet his eye, though, heā€™s got a sneaky, all-knowing look on his face. You donā€™t like the loot of it one bit.
ā€œWhatā€™s with the look?ā€ you ask.
ā€œWhat do you mean?ā€ he retorts quickly.
ā€œYouā€™re making a face,ā€ you say.
ā€œAre you saying you donā€™t like my face?ā€ Jeonghan asks, pretending to be offended.Ā 
ā€œWhy are you here, Jeonghan?ā€ you ask to switch tactics.Ā 
ā€œThese are your office hours. Iā€™m here to ask questions about the material,ā€ he says.Ā 
ā€œYou donā€™t need any help with the material so far. Iā€™ve graded your problem sets and the answers have been perfect,ā€ you admit.Ā 
ā€œImpressive, isnā€™t it?ā€ he muses.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m not answering that. It brings me back to my question, though. If you donā€™t need help, why are you here?ā€ you press.
ā€œWhy does it seem like you donā€™t like me?ā€ he asks.
ā€œI donā€™t have any feelings about you either way,ā€ you deflect.
ā€œNow, thatā€™s not true,ā€ he disagrees.Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re determined to get under my skin,ā€ you say, half as a joke.Ā 
ā€œDetermined to figure you out,ā€ he corrects. ā€œIt doesnā€™t seem like youā€™re all that excited about being a TA.ā€
ā€œThatā€™s because I was forced into it,ā€ you blurt out and immediately clap a hand over your mouth. Thatā€™s the last thing you meant to say. ā€œI didnā€™t meanā€¦ā€
ā€œNow weā€™re getting somewhere in this relationship,ā€ he says, sitting back into his seat with a satisfied smile.Ā 
You heave another heavy sigh, a common occurrence around this man. ā€œWhy are you so determined to figure me out? Why do you care how I feel about you?ā€
ā€œBecause everyone seems to like me right off the bat,ā€ he says.Ā 
ā€œI can see why,ā€ you deadpan.Ā 
ā€œSo can I stay? Or do you have very important things to do?ā€ he asks.
ā€œItā€™s my office hours, so Iā€™m here to help students until the two hours are up,ā€ you admit.
ā€œPerfect.ā€
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The next few times that you hold office hours feature Jeonghan showing up for the second half. It seems deliberate that he doesnā€™t show up right when they start, especially because you always have at least one other student in your office. If thereā€™s another student there, he joins in to ask questions along with whoever else is there. When itā€™s just him, his questions are much more personal. Itā€™s obvious that he wants to know you. Know your likes and dislikes, know the things that make you tick, know who you are when youā€™re not at school. Seems very convinced that the version of you outside the walls of the engineering building is very different from the one he sees. Jeonghan doesnā€™t seem to realize that heā€™s slowly getting more and more of a peek into who you really are. Thankfully, he doesnā€™t bring up your slip about being forced into being a TA.Ā 
It doesnā€™t make it any easier to be around him.
It should. You should be able to get used to his particular brand of torture. Yet, with each new piece of information you learn, you unlock even more questions. Itā€™s like you canā€™t ever really figure him out. Or maybe that he doesnā€™t want you to. Heā€™s very careful to give vague answers about the serious things, while he goes on and on about the things that donā€™t matter. Heā€™ll spend a solid five minutes talking about the latest Lego heā€™s building, but then breeze past the few questions you ask about him personally. It usually includes some sort of quip about how heā€™s wearing you down and how you clearly want to know him better.Ā 
ā€œBet you thought you were escaping me today,ā€ a voice says, startling you out of your thoughts.Ā 
ā€œJesus Christ,ā€ you gasp. Your heart beats a mile a minute as you look up to glare at the intruder.Ā 
ā€œNo, Yoon Jeonghan. I can see the confusion, though,ā€ he says and you sigh heavily.Ā 
ā€œOffice hours are almost over,ā€ you point out.Ā 
ā€œNot for 20 more minutes,ā€ he counters.Ā 
ā€œRight, but I was in the middle of grading something,ā€ you say, indicating the design plans in front of you. He glances over at them.
ā€œHm,ā€ he says.
ā€œWhat, Jeonghan?ā€ you ask with exasperation.
ā€œJust doesnā€™t look like mine is all,ā€ he says and plops into the chair across from you.
ā€œWell obviously,ā€ you say. ā€œCanā€™t exactly grade your project with you sitting here.ā€Ā 
For some reason, that makes him break out into a wicked grin. ā€œSo you arenā€™t grading my assignment because you were hoping Iā€™d show up.ā€Ā 
Ah, yes. Now you see your mistake. Should have definitely seen that coming, too. ā€œYouā€™ve come to every other session. I wasnā€™t hoping youā€™d show up again, but it was a fair assumption that you might.ā€Ā 
ā€œWhatever you need to tell yourself,ā€ he says placatingly.Ā  ā€œDā€™you have a question?ā€ you ask. The tension headache you associate with Jeonghanā€™s presence in your life is threatening to make an appearance.Ā 
ā€œNope,ā€ he says, popping the last syllable.Ā 
A notification on your phone stops you from responding to him and you unlock it immediately. It seems that Professor Choi needs to give you a stack of assignments and instead of just walking a few doors down the hall, he had to send a message. You drop your phone back on the desk with the message still open and take a calming breath.Ā 
ā€œEverything good?ā€ Jeonghan asks with more care than youā€™re used to.
ā€œYeah, Iā€™ll be right back. Have to go pick something up from Professor Choiā€™s office,ā€ you say, already on your feet and heading towards the door.Ā 
It only takes a minute or two for you to go and come back. For once, youā€™re thankful for Jeonghan because it gives you the ready-made excuse that youā€™re just wrapping up office hours with a student waiting for you to return. He doesnā€™t need to know that student hasnā€™t ever asked you a class related question without another student present. Youā€™ll take the wins where you can get them. The pain in ass in question is still sitting exactly where he was when you left him.Ā 
He looks up at you as you walk back in, set the folders on the corner of your desk, and sit back down. ā€œYou really hate Professor Choi.ā€Ā 
ā€œI didnā€™t say that,ā€ you counter quickly. Probably too quickly.Ā 
ā€œYou didnā€™t have to. Sometimes you have a really expressive face,ā€ he comments and looks back down at his phone.Ā 
ā€œOnly sometimes?ā€ you wonder. Jeonghan looks back up to regard you.
ā€œItā€™s always expressive, but you work a little harder to control it in class than you do outside of it,ā€ he decides. ā€œYou mentioned something about being forced into this. Why be a TA if you hate it?ā€Ā 
ā€œI donā€™t actually hate being a TA,ā€ you clarify. He seems to accept this at face value. ā€œItā€™s justā€¦I didnā€™tā€¦no. Why am I doing this with you?ā€
ā€œBecause Iā€™m asking?ā€ he offers.Ā 
ā€œI had never considered being a TA. I wasnā€™t opposed to it, I just hadnā€™t really fit it into my schedule. It has been a lot of fun, though,ā€ you say. Itā€™s the first time youā€™ve noticed how much attention Jeonghan gives you. The way his eyes are on you and it seems like he tunes out any other distractions.Ā 
ā€œHow did you end up here, then?ā€ he asks. Any teasing or lightness is gone from his tone.Ā 
ā€œPlease donā€™t make me regret giving you the honest answer,ā€ you say warily. ā€œBut, Iā€™m applying for my PhD program. I have everything that I needā€¦except for a final letter of recommendation.ā€
ā€œOh, youā€™re joking,ā€ he says and actually does look offended on your behalf. ā€œHeā€™s making you TA for him in exchange for the letter? Thatā€™s why you said you were forced into it?ā€
ā€œYup,ā€ you respond, popping the end of the word like he had done earlier..Ā 
ā€œWell, thatā€™s definitely shitty but Iā€™m still counting myself lucky that you ended up with this class,ā€ he says.
ā€œI canā€™t figure you out,ā€ you admit.Ā 
ā€œI know.ā€Ā 
That should be annoying, the way he says that he knows you canā€™t figure him out. Itā€™s like heā€™s not even trying to hide that heā€™s making it difficult to get to know him. Yet, heā€™s not making it a secret that he wants to get to know you better. Thereā€™s just something about him that prompts you to share things you wouldnā€™t with anyone else. No, thatā€™s dramatic. Itā€™s just easier to share with him than it usually is with someone else that you barely know.Ā 
Despite asking again if Jeonghan has any questions, he insists that heā€™s fine with just sitting there to keep you company while you have to wait to see if any student comes by in the last minutes of your office hours. For a change, he doesnā€™t ask any personal questions. Doesnā€™t try to press you into admitting things that you usually wouldnā€™t. He just takes out his laptop to make it look like youā€™re actually helping him in the event that anyone checks in on you.Ā 
Nobody does. The last few minutes pass quickly with you returning to grading the assignment you had been working on. The two of you gather up your things in relative silence and Jeonghan walks with you out to your car so that you can head home. Youā€™re expecting something else or something different, but thatā€™s all there is. Just a walk to your car, a smile with a goodbye, and him heading off in another direction. Itā€™s somehow the strangest and most normal interaction youā€™ve had with him. It makes you pause to wonder if this is the real version of him. A little quiet, a little reserved. Not being a menace to anything and anyone in his path.
Itā€™s not until youā€™re back home, sitting on the couch with a glass of wine while watching some variety show with Seungkwan that you realize it wasnā€™t quite the normal interaction you thought it was.Ā 
Jeonghan: i appreciated you telling me the truth about the class today
The message lights up your screen and all you can do is stare at it without being able to believe it. How are you getting a message from Jeonghan with his contact information saved? Youā€™re racking your brain trying to figure out if you gave him your number, or saved his, and just didnā€™t remember.Ā 
ā€œWhatā€™s with your face?ā€ Seungkwan asks.
ā€œWow, that was nice,ā€ you retort.
He looks over at your phone where the notification still shows a message from Jeonghan. ā€œFinally gave him your number, huh?ā€
ā€œNo, I -ā€ you start when another message comes in.
Jeonghan: you left your phone unlocked when you went to Choiā€™s office and I figured it was time for us to exchange numbers
Seungkwan, now more invested in your messages than in the show in the background, lets out a low whistle of appreciation. ā€œWow, heā€™s good. I see why you like him.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t like him, Kwan,ā€ you sigh.
ā€œSure,ā€ he says dismissively.Ā 
As if to prove something, you make a show of moving your phone over to the end table and turning it over. Seungkwan gives you a Look that plainly says heā€™s not buying whatever it is youā€™re trying to sell. Otherwise, he lets you go back to the show that youā€™re watching without bringing it up again.Ā 
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The text thread with Jeonghan seems to haunt you every time you open your messages, at least until there are enough conversations to push it out of your view. Surprisingly, you donā€™t get any more texts from him when you donā€™t answer. He also doesnā€™t show up to your next office hours, which is a bit odd to you. And you canā€™t vent to Seungkwan about it because heā€™s still very convinced that itā€™s only a matter of time before you end up sleeping with Jeonghan. Ridiculous, honestly. Like you would waste your time on someone youā€™re not even sure you like.Ā 
That carries you through to your next class. Itā€™s a slightly more complicated lecture that Choi does every semester to try and scare students off this path. He claims itā€™s so that everyone knows what they would be getting into. You suspect that itā€™s his way of reminding everyone just how smart he is. Not exactly the most flattering trait, but you suppose that he probably doesnā€™t care about that. Doesnā€™t need to. Heā€™s been teaching so long that his job is guaranteed at this point.Ā 
The good thing, though, about knowing Choi wonā€™t need you during the entirety of the class is that you get to just sit at the back of the class and do some work. It gives you the chance to get through grading some of the assignments for the class without having to take time away from something else. Letā€™s you get absorbed into that to tune out the grating sound of Choiā€™s monotonous voice as he tries his best to warn students off the path. Youā€™re so absorbed that you donā€™t notice the way that Jeonghan periodically glances over his shoulder to where youā€™re sitting, trying to catch your attention even for a moment.Ā 
When the class comes to an end, you make your way up to the front as you would any other time. Itā€™s a little irritating to have to check if thereā€™s anything Professor Choi needs like youā€™re his personal assistant, but youā€™re also resigned. What youā€™re not prepared for, though, is that he calls Jeonghan up to the front of the room.
ā€œYes, Professor?ā€ he says with so much respect and deference that it almost feels real, if you didnā€™t know how he feels. One of the only personal things you actually know about this mystery of a man..Ā 
ā€œI really enjoyed your proposal for the final project using Legos,ā€ Choi starts. ā€œEvery few semesters, I get someone that seems to think being good at using plastic building blocks means theyā€™d make a good engineer. But, youā€™ve actually been doing wonderfully in the class. So, I want you to work with my TA here to refine the idea a little bit. I donā€™t think youā€™re meeting your full potential with it yet.ā€Ā 
ā€œOh, well Professor Choiā€¦ā€ you start and he waves a hand.Ā 
ā€œSurely it isnā€™t a problem to help foster the best student in my class, is it?ā€ he challenges.
ā€œNo, of course not,ā€ you concede.Ā 
Professor Choi wears a triumphant smile. ā€œGood. Iā€™ll leave the two of you to coordinate your schedules. See you next class, Mr. Yoon.ā€Ā 
The formality of calling students by their family names nearly makes you roll your eyes. Itā€™s only when you note the glint in Jeonghanā€™s eyes that you catch yourself. The two of you say your goodbyes and a silence settles in Choiā€™s absence.
ā€œShould I just stop by your office hours tomorrow?ā€ he asks when itā€™s clear you arenā€™t going to say anything.Ā 
ā€œSure, that works,ā€ you say. ā€œYou stop by most of them anyway.ā€Ā 
ā€œDoes it bother you that I do?ā€ he asks, a note of something you canā€™t detect in his tone. Maybe vulnerability.Ā 
That makes you soften. ā€œNo, of course not.ā€
ā€œI can back off if itā€™s making you uncomfortable,ā€ he says with a forced smile. ā€œMaybe it was too much adding my number to your phone.ā€Ā 
ā€œWe can talk about boundaries when I see you during office hours tomorrow,ā€ you joke. At least it seems to bring a real smile back to his face.Ā 
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In a strange turn of events, Jeonghan shows up to your office hours only two minutes after they start. You havenā€™t even gotten yourself fully unpacked because you werenā€™t expecting him to show up at the beginning. Not when he seems to show up in the latter half every other time.Ā 
The differences continue as you settle into the work the professor assigned the two of you. Jeonghan pulls out his proposal, something you hadnā€™t actually seen yet, and talks you through his ideas. His idea had been to submit a design for a brand new structure built to scale entirely using Legos. Itā€™s ambitious in a way because the blocks only come in certain shapes and sizes. You canā€™t just cut something down to fit the size that you need. It requires a good amount of forethought. But, for someone like Jeonghan whoā€™s taken to the course like a fish to water, it doesnā€™t seem like itā€™s quite enough. You can see why the professor asked you to help him work through it a little bit more. It needs to be fleshed out a little further.Ā 
As the two of you go back and forth with ideas about how to give it an element that makes it more impressive, youā€™re stuck by how easy it is to work side-by-side with him. How well the two of you work together. Itā€™s like every visit before this has been building up to the level of comfort you have now, even if youā€™re still pretending that you donā€™t really know him. Maybe you donā€™t, though. Itā€™s not like he ever gives you real answers to your questions.
ā€œWhy Legos?ā€ you ask as the two of you are feeling stuck on where to go to expand on the proposal.Ā 
ā€œBecause itā€™s funny to see how annoyed you get when I bring it up, so I figured it would be funny to imagine you grading my final project that has to do with Legos,ā€ he says with that same look.
ā€œBe serious for once, Jeonghan,ā€ you sigh. ā€œIā€™m trying to help you with this. Itā€™s the least you could do.ā€Ā 
ā€œSorry,ā€ he says after a moment and shifts in his seat. ā€œItā€™s, well, itā€™s just always been the way that I zone out and reset. At first, it was just when I needed a break from dealing with people because I had to focus on the instructions. Then, I started to think about how impressive it was that they were able to form these insane shapes with building blocks. Then, it started to get more elaborate with me testing out what worked and what didnā€™t when I built my own designs.ā€Ā 
Itā€™s one of the first truly real and truly honest things heā€™s said to you. Not hiding behind a joke or brushing off an answer. Itā€™s just him and you feel like that one response helps you know him better than all the hours heā€™s spent in your office up until that point. It also helps you realize what the proposal was missing in the first place: something personal from him.Ā 
Ultimately, what is going to make this project stand out is something that makes it personal. A structural engineer doesnā€™t really need to design a building or a bridge or any other structure. They do need to design and analyze any of the support systems, though, which can be a dull job at times. Adding something more human will make it stand out. So, you suggest that Jeonghan take it a step further than just modeling a structural support system from Legos. You suggest that he set it up almost like instructions for an established set. But, instead of simple drawings to make it step by step, you suggest that he include little snippets about his previous experiences with using Legos, how he tests it to make sure he structure will hold, and any calculations he does for load capacity and gravity.Ā 
Initially, he seems a little unsure. Itā€™s easy to see that talking about things that are more personal to him, especially for a final project, is uncomfortable. After a lot of reassurances that nobody but you and Professor Choi will see it if he doesnā€™t want them to, he finally agrees that itā€™s a good idea. It does seem like heā€™s at least excited about the prospect now, though.Ā 
While heā€™s rewriting his proposal to submit to the professor, you get back to what you had planned to do during the first part of your office hours before he showed up: grading assignments. Once again, his isnā€™t on the stack to be graded. Out of habit, you always grade his first and some time when heā€™s guaranteed to not be around. Itā€™s oddly comfortable to work like this, grading papers while he types away on his laptop across from you.Ā 
Once he gets through typing up a new proposal, he asks if you would be willing to read it over. Youā€™re just about to suggest that he email it to you, when he just hands his laptop over. Seems unconcerned about having you his laptop. Although he watches you carefully as your eyes scan through the words, it feels like his only concern is what you think about it. Which doesnā€™t need to be a concern at all. Itā€™s perfect, as far as youā€™re concerned.Ā 
You tell him as much when you look up with a smile. ā€œI love it.ā€
ā€œDonā€™t be nice to me now,ā€ he says nervously as you hand the laptop back over.Ā 
ā€œWhat?ā€ you ask.Ā 
ā€œYou donā€™t need to spare my feelings now when youā€™ve been ignoring my texts,ā€ he says like heā€™s trying to protect himself.Ā 
ā€œSo much to unpack there and weā€™ll return to the texts,ā€ you say, a little exasperated. ā€œBut, Iā€™m not being nice about the proposal. Itā€™s perfect and I genuinely canā€™t find a single thing Iā€™d change. Choiā€™s going to love it.ā€Ā 
ā€œAh, well, he was right in getting your help. I wouldnā€™t have gotten here on my own,ā€ he admits and it does actually make you smile again.Ā 
ā€œStill your idea,ā€ you say to encourage him.
ā€œThank you, I appreciate it,ā€ he says and you know itā€™s the real him for a moment.Ā 
ā€œOkay, but back to the texting,ā€ you say to shift.
ā€œThe boundaries chat, wonderful,ā€ Jeonghan says, returning to his previous mask of being a menace.Ā 
ā€œYou really shouldnā€™t be going through a strangerā€™s phone and adding your number,ā€ you chastise.Ā 
ā€œWeā€™re not strangers though, are we?ā€ he challenges. ā€œAnd I didnā€™t go through your phone.ā€
ā€œNo?ā€ you ask with an eyebrow raised.
ā€œYour phone was still lit up when you left so I called myself quickly and then created a new contact, and then locked your phone and put it back,ā€ he says like itā€™s the most normal sentence in the world.
ā€œThatā€™s insane?ā€ you state with a level of shock.
ā€œI really wasnā€™t trying to cross some sort of line,ā€ he admits with a shocking level of sincerity. ā€œI just really like getting to know you and I figured youā€™d feel weird about giving a student in your class your number, even though youā€™re still a student as well. So, I just wanted to make it easier. If you donā€™t want me to have it, you can delete it right out of my phone.ā€
Jeonghan holds his unlocked phone out to you and itā€™s open to your contact. For some insane reason, you do actually believe what he said. Itā€™s easy to see how he might want to befriend you and be hesitant on how to do that. He strikes you as the kind of person that can put on a mask of liking to be social, but really would much rather be at home or in a small setting like in your office with you. And you do actually enjoy having him around, even if you keep trying to pretend that heā€™s basically a stranger to you. Heā€™s not wrong, either. You would have felt weird about exchanging numbers with him. Youā€™ll never admit that to him.Ā 
He must see the hesitation on your face because he retracts his hand. Waits for you to say something, though. ā€œI guess itā€™s not the worst thing that you have my number.ā€Ā 
ā€œThatā€™s almost a positive,ā€ he jokes. ā€œYou could give a guy false hope that you actually might be starting to like me.ā€
ā€œOh, now I wouldnā€™t go that far,ā€ you quickly tack on. ā€œWouldnā€™t want you to get a big head.ā€
ā€œHave you seen the grades Iā€™m getting? I already know Iā€™m doing something right,ā€ he brags.Ā 
ā€œI have seen your grades since Iā€™m usually the one grading them,ā€ you remind him. ā€œSo, I have to balance it out.ā€
ā€œYou just wanna break my heart over and over again,ā€ he whines.
ā€œYouā€™ll survive,ā€ you deadpan.Ā 
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Everything seems to carry on as it always does. You have to make sure youā€™re keeping up with all of your actual classes for your degree. Grade assignments when Professor Choi hands them off to you. Give feedback on the upcoming topics. Most importantly, you findĀ  plenty of time to disengage from all the hustle of classes. To enjoy time with friends where you can let your brain just wander onto things that donā€™t matter nearly as much.Ā 
Even though you donā€™t ever text Jeonghan first, it doesnā€™t seem deterred because you do always answer the messages that he sends to you. Some of them are idle thoughts throughout the day. Others are questions that he wants answers to and seems to think heā€™s more likely to get them over text than during the hours he spends in your office. Your favorites, though, are when he texts you some wildly out of pocket statement and then gets you to debate him on it because itā€™s always something completely inane. Something meaningless. It gets you so fired up, though.Ā 
ā€œHeā€™s so infuriating,ā€ you complain as you forcely set your phone down on the couch next to you.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m guessing weā€™re talking about Jeonghan,ā€ Seungkwan says from his position on the other end of the couch.
ā€œWhy would you immediately jump to Jeonghan?ā€ you ask.Ā 
ā€œBestie, we havenā€™t talked about anyone else but Jeonghan all semester,ā€ he says. You fling a pillow at your roommate.
ā€œFirst, youā€™re being dramatic. And second, yes I talk about him a lot. Heā€™s infuriating,ā€ you say.
ā€œWhatever you say,ā€ Seungkwan says dismissively.
ā€œI might hate him,ā€ you say.
ā€œThey say hate sex is the best sex,ā€ he says without taking his eyes off his phone.
ā€œAnd they say killing your nosey roommate isnā€™t actually a crime,ā€ you retort.Ā 
Seungkwan looks up at you and smiles. ā€œLetā€™s do it baby. I know the law.ā€Ā 
ā€œYouā€™ve been spending too much time around Vernon,ā€ you scoff.Ā 
ā€œMaybe, but if you kill me, whoā€™s going to lend their ear to you and listen to your troubles?ā€ he asks.
ā€œVan Gogh,ā€ you answer immediately.
ā€œHeā€™s dead,ā€ Seungkwan says with an arched eyebrow, carefully avoiding the more obvious retort.
ā€œAnd so are you to me right now,ā€ you say flatly.Ā 
ā€œTouche,ā€ he says with a light laugh. ā€œWhatā€™s he done this time thatā€™s got you all pissy?ā€
ā€œHeā€™s spent the last 20 minutes debating with me over whether or not a hotdog is a sandwich,ā€ you say, expecting Seungkwan to think itā€™s just as ridiculous as you.Ā 
What youā€™re not expecting, though you should be, is for him to pick up Jeonghanā€™s side in the debate and make you rehash everything youā€™ve already talked about. It sounds like such an innocuous topic. Something so outlandish that it could possibly spark debate for more than a few minutes. Yet, here you are, having the same debate all over again. It makes you even more heated despite not having a stake or opinion before Jeonghan asked you. In fact, you had never even considered the question. It was one of the most effective he had posed since he started sending you random questions or opinions like this.Ā 
Somehow, though, your biggest mistake is telling Jeonghan that your roommate got just as invested as he had about the topic. Worse when you told Jeonghan that Seungkwan was on his side. It made it immediately obvious that you could not ever let those two meet. It would spell an instant demise for any remaining sanity you had left. The realization that they would be instant best friends is terrifying.Ā 
The debate about whether or not hotdogs are sandwiches lasts all the way until the next day when Jeonghan shows up at your office hours, right at the start. The look on his face tells him that heā€™s about to carry on the text conversation. But, thankfully, he falls silent when you say that you actually want to get some grading done unless he actually has a question about the course material. It makes him soften, actually, and he agrees that heā€™ll sit at the little table and work on some of his own homework. It doesnā€™t really give the impression that heā€™s asking you for help, though youā€™re sure that you could sell it if you needed to.Ā 
Normally, itā€™s not all that distracting to have Jeonghan in your space. Probably because heā€™s there so often that youā€™re kind of used to him by now. Thatā€™s a thought you donā€™t allow yourself to dwell on too long. Itā€™s easier to maintain the idea that you kind of hate him than to consider what your real feelings might be. Yet, those thoughts seem to be swirling in your head just by him existing in the same space as you. If heā€™s equally affected, then you canā€™t tell. His fingers seem to fly across his keyboard as he works steadily on something.Ā 
Without warning, his voice interrupts the rhythm you finally find. ā€œCan I ask you a question?ā€
ā€œYouā€™ve never asked permission before,ā€ you note, but donā€™t look up.
ā€œI wasnā€™t sure if it was an office hours question,ā€ he says with a little hesitation.Ā 
That does get you to look over at him. ā€œIs it about the course material?ā€
ā€œNo,ā€ he says.
ā€œShocking,ā€ you sigh. ā€œWell, whatever it is, letā€™s have it.ā€
ā€œDo you want to go out and get dinner sometime?ā€ he asks, looking more vulnerable than usual.
Itā€™s enough to make your heart both constrict and threaten to beat out of your chest. Does he know that youā€™ve been sitting here internally debating what your actual feelings towards him are? Has it been that obvious on your face?Ā 
ā€œWith you?ā€ you ask to buy yourself time.Ā 
ā€œThat would be the idea, yes,ā€ he says with a nervous chuckle.
ā€œI donā€™t knowā€¦ā€ you start.
ā€œYou donā€™t know because youā€™re trying to spare my feelings? Or youā€™re not sure for some reason?ā€ he asks to clarify.
Thatā€™s such a crossroads kind of question. Youā€™re not actually sure what the answer is yourself. All you know is that you feel immediate panic at the thought of one of the professors, especially Professor Choi, seeing you out with him. Itā€™s not that there are any rules about TAs and students dating. After all, TAs are just students themselves. But, since youā€™re doing most of the grading, setting some of the assignments, and even leading some of the classes, itā€™s frowned upon. It could give the student actually in the class some kind of perceived advantage. The thoughts just go rapidly flying through your brain as you look over at Jeonghanā€™s expectant face.
You decide on some version of the truth: that it doesnā€™t matter what you think, itā€™s not a good idea for you to blur that line. That if someone from the university saw you out, that it could possibly jeopardize everything youā€™ve spent years working on. That Professor Choi seems even more old school than most of the other professors. Youā€™ve already sacrificed so much. Itā€™s just not a risk you think you can take.Ā 
What you donā€™t say: that the question actually confuses you. That you can see yourself saying yes to finally figure out what exactly it is thatā€™s going on with you and Jeonghan. You wonder what type of place he would pick. Wonder what heā€™s like when itā€™s really just the two of you without the risk of someone else butting in. You wonder if maybe heā€™ll answer all those personal questions that heā€™s so fond of dodging when heā€™s sitting in your office. It actually makes you wonder if saying yes is worth taking a risk when youā€™ve been so careful with everything in your entire academic career. Itā€™s the kind of thought that really terrifies you even more. This is a man that you canā€™t even figure out your feelings towards and yet youā€™re considering taking a massive risk.Ā 
Itā€™s one of the most intense office hours you hold and youā€™re left with more questions than answers.Ā 
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Itā€™s been another exhausting day between your own classes, research, and doing work as a TA. Sure, there are definite upsides to your schedule. It helps you feel like you have a complete grasp on the material. It also helps you feel like you might be well suited to being a lecturer or even a professor yourself down the line. You also know that youā€™re giving more to your time as a TA than you need to. Itā€™s just that you donā€™t want to leave anything to chance. The stronger the recommendation from Choi, the better.Ā 
When you get to your apartment, Seungkwan is in the kitchen with Vernon and Chan. Which should be a concerning sight, since none of them are exactly great cooks, but youā€™re too tired to really care. Youā€™re also kind of starving and whatever theyā€™re making smells good. Whatā€™s the worst that could happen? So you call out quick greetings before heading into your room to drop off your things and change. You reemerge to the sounds of them bickering back and forth.
ā€œHey, do you want to try some of what weā€™re making?ā€ Chan calls.
ā€œSheā€™s going to say no,ā€ Seungkwan says.
ā€œIā€™m starving. Iā€™m down to try whatever it is,ā€ you disagree.Ā 
ā€œLooks like Chan wins this one,ā€ Vernon teases.Ā 
A beep from your phone distracts you from engaging in the bickering back and forth. Itā€™s the last thing youā€™re expecting, though it shouldnā€™t be. Ever since Jeonghan managed to get your number, and heard your half-hearted chat about boundaries, heā€™s been bothering you whenever he feels like it.Ā 
Jeonghan: have you thought about what I asked? You: no Jeonghan: donā€™t believe you You: my answer hasnā€™t changed Jeonghan: that it's not a good idea? You: exactly Jeonghan: thatā€™s not a no You: isnā€™t it? Jeonghan: listen, I respect you and if you tell me no, I wonā€™t ask again Jeonghan: the only thing Iā€™m going to ask if you actually think about it before saying no You: fine
ā€œHello? Are you there?ā€ Seungkwan asks, snapping his fingers in front of your face.Ā 
ā€œHuh?ā€ you ask.
ā€œOh, sheā€™s gone girl,ā€ Chan says with a laugh.
ā€œWho were you texting?ā€ Seungkwan asks. He gives you a look that screams heā€™s about to tease the shit out of you if youā€™re honest.
ā€œOh, nobody important. Just a friend,ā€ you say dismissively.Ā 
ā€œAre we calling Jeonghan a friend now?ā€ Seungkwan teases.Ā 
ā€œIt wasnā€™t Jeonghan,ā€ you say with an eye roll.
ā€œWhoā€™s Jeonghan?ā€ Vernon asks.
ā€œI think heā€™s that guy weā€™ve been betting on when sheā€™s gonna finally give in and sleep with him,ā€ Chan says in an undertone to Vernon.
ā€œIā€™m not going to sleep withā€¦hang on. What the fuck?ā€ you ask, wheeling around on Seungkwan. ā€œHave you been betting on me again?ā€Ā 
ā€œOnly when youā€™re being an idiot,ā€ Seungkwan says with a shrug.Ā 
ā€œWait, again?ā€ Vernon asks.
ā€œBro, we have been involved in other bets,ā€ Chan says.
ā€œI need new friends,ā€ you grumble.
From there, it devolves into the usual bickering that you associate with your friend group. Sometimes you wonder how you even got so sucked into this friend group where theyā€™re two or three years younger than you. Youā€™re incredibly thankful for them, though, even in moments like this where you want to strangle them.Ā 
Dinner moves into watching something and playing a game. It always goes the same way. Chan or Vernon take care of picking what to watch since they watch more TV and movies than you and Seungkwan. Conversely, Seungkwan usually picks the game, which is never a good idea because he always picks something that heā€™s good at. It doesnā€™t really matter to you, at least. Your brain tends to be fried from classes and research and all that. Itā€™s nice to let them just make the decisions and chime in when you have something to say.
Thankfully, the conversations quickly move past your friends and their complete conviction that you have feelings for Jeonghan to much less serious topics. Sitting there, though, you feel an overwhelming sense of peace even in the chaos. Even when you say that you need new friends, you know that you wouldnā€™t trade these friends for the world.Ā 
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Itā€™s been just over a week since you promised to give Jeonghanā€™s question actual thought. Youā€™re still not entirely sure why you agreed. Itā€™s not like youā€™re actually going to say anything other than no. Itā€™s been a little weird, though, because Jeonghan hasnā€™t brought it up again, either. Itā€™s like heā€™s actually been true to his word. He even skipped your office hours when he would usually show up just to bother you and pretend to ask questions.Ā 
Since your workload has been a little light, you agree to go out for drinks with Seungkwan and some friends. Itā€™s a much needed night to unwind and just not think about any of the issues that plague you during the week. Itā€™s a night of ridiculous conversations while you all give each other a hard time about nothing that really matters. Eventually, as is always the way it goes, Seungkwan gets up and kicks off some karaoke. Itā€™s a blessing and a curse. Heā€™s got an amazing voice and you feel like you should be paying to hear someone sing that well. But, then he wants other people to join him and none of you are that keen to embarrass yourselves by following him.Ā 
Casting your eyes around the bar, they land on someone in a leather jacket. As you watch, he shrugs it off and sets it on the back of his chair. Thereā€™s something compellingly beautiful about him. He runs a hair through his short, perfectly textured black hair and turns his face slightly to the side. Youā€™re appreciating his profile for a second before it hits you. This isnā€™t some stranger. Itā€™s Jeonghan. Itā€™s just that heā€™s clearly cut his hair and styled it differently. You quickly return your eyes to your group and only can hope that he hasnā€™t noticed you yet. Then again, Seungkwan has been loud and singing before returning to your table. Most people seem to have noticed him. Still, since Jeonghan hasnā€™t texted you or come over to say anything, you figure that maybe he hasnā€™t seen you. No matter what, you down another drink to forget about checking him out.Ā 
By the time itā€™s your turn to go up to the bar and get another round of drinks, youā€™ve mostly pushed the thought of Jeonghan out of your mind. With your back to his table, itā€™s been much easier to act like he doesnā€™t exist. Once youā€™re at the bar, itā€™s a little more difficult. Your eyes find his table without even meaning to. His jacket is still there, but heā€™s not.Ā 
ā€œLooking for me?ā€ a soft voice asks from just beside you.Ā 
It makes you jump a little to realize that heā€™s somehow right next to you. You try your hardest to act like youā€™re unaffected when you turn to face him. Try to act like you didnā€™t realize he was there. Kind of fail at that, honestly, because youā€™re one drink past the point of being able to pull it off. ā€œHey, Jeonghan. How long have you been here?ā€
He smiles that mischievous smile that always makes him look like he knows something that you donā€™t. ā€œI saw you looking over at my table. You knew I was here.ā€
ā€œI almost donā€™t recognize you with the new haircut and that leather jacket,ā€ you say and only realize your mistake a second too late.Ā 
ā€œThe leather jacket back at my table?ā€ he asks, raising an eyebrow in challenge. ā€œI saw you checking your phone too.ā€Ā 
ā€œWere you watching me?ā€ you challenge.
ā€œYes,ā€ he admits freely. ā€œYouā€™re nice to look at.ā€Ā 
ā€œOh, well thatā€™s notā€¦I didnā€™t mean,ā€ you stutter out, saved by the bartender setting a small tray down of drinks for you and your friends.Ā 
Somehow, though, because life isnā€™t fair (and neither is Seungkwan), your best friend picks that moment to waltz over claiming he wants to help with drinks. What he really seems to want is to introduce himself to Jeonghan. Even goes as far as pretending he hasnā€™t heard Jeonghanā€™s name before. Seungkwan manages to sell it better too and you think it would probably pass with anyone else that wasnā€™t paying such sharp attention. Itā€™s only then that you notice Jeonghan doesnā€™t have a drink in hand. Doesnā€™t really seem the slightest bit drunk. Which is fine until Seungkwan manages to make it even worse by inviting Jeonghan and his friends to come join your group.Ā 
Then, something else thatā€™s kind of weird happens. Jeonghan, who has spent the entirety of the semester up until about a week ago terrorizing you, barely says anything to you at all. He talks about his favorite artists with Seungkwan. Asks Chan for suggestions on some movies that heā€™s recently seen. Even laughs about random ass memes with Vernon. His friends, whose names you canā€™t even remember, fit in just as seamlessly. Itā€™s a littleā€¦well, uncomfortable. Itā€™s giving you entirely too much time to think and you donā€™t like it.
So, you do the only reasonable thing and you keep getting drinks. Stay just on the right side of drunk so that youā€™re aware of your surroundings, but not sober. It makes it easier to deal with everything happening around you.
As the night continues on, your merged groups seem to ebb and flow. Some people wander over, drawn in by the fact that it seems like a fun place to be. Other times, some wander off to make new friends or have new conversations. This is especially true of Seungkwan, which youā€™re used to. Your roommate is one of the most social people that you know. And then people start to make their excuses to leave as it gets later. How you end up outlasting Chan is a mystery, since he seems to have endless energy. Itā€™s fine, though. You still have your roommate.
Well, until he tells you, without nearly the amount of shame that he should have, that heā€™s going to be bringing someone home that he got to talking to about karaoke. Itā€™s a little unlike him, at least until you realize that the person isnā€™t a stranger. Theyā€™re definitely someone that Seungkwan has talked to before. It still leaves you a little lost on what to do or where to go.
ā€œI never ask you for anything,ā€ Seungkwan pleads. Itā€™s patently false. Heā€™s always asking you for things, just never things like this.Ā 
ā€œI could text Chan or Vernon to see if theyā€™ll let me crash on their couch,ā€ you say, trying to quickly clear the cloudiness from your brain.Ā 
ā€œDonā€™t they put their phones into DND as soon as they get home?ā€ Seungkwan asks.
ā€œMy only other option is to just go home and put headphones on,ā€ you say.
ā€œYou could come crash at my place. My roommate wonā€™t be back from a trip til tomorrow,ā€ Jeonghan offers.Ā 
ā€œPerfect! Thank you!ā€ Seungkwan rushes out.
ā€œUm? Seungkwan? You canā€™t just send me to some stranger's house?ā€ you protest.
ā€œHeā€™s not a stranger. Heā€™s been in your class all semester and at your office hours nearly every day,ā€ Seungkwan says with an eye roll. Jeonghan looks vindicated hearing this piece of information. ā€œYouā€™re so dramatic.ā€Ā 
ā€œItā€™ll be fine. I can sleep in his room and you can sleep in mine. Iā€™ll even make sure you have fresh sheets if youā€™re worried,ā€ he says.Ā 
This is definitely a bad idea. Even though youā€™re not drunk, youā€™re definitely not sober enough to pretend youā€™re not at least a little bit interested in Jeonghan. Everything about him seems to be a study in contrasts. Confident but not in some toxic masculinity type of way. Chaotic but serious at the same time. Silly to where he would say he joined a class because heā€™s good at Legos but also genuinely smart. And beautiful in a way so few men seem to be. Heā€™s just something entirely his own.
You shake your head because you realize youā€™re spacing out. This is a terrible idea and one you probably wouldnā€™t agree to if you were sober. Itā€™s not like heā€™s actually a stranger, though. Jeonghan seems to have realized the conclusion before you open your mouth. ā€œWhatā€™s the worst that could happen?ā€
ā€œDangerous question,ā€ Jeonghan says with a glint in his eyes.Ā 
ā€œI love you,ā€ Seungkwan says and wraps you up in a hug before skipping off.Ā 
ā€œAre you ready to leave, then?ā€ Jeonghan asks when itā€™s just the two of you.
ā€œYeah, might as well,ā€ you say. He nods, looking a little unsure for the first time since youā€™ve known him and turns to grab his jacket. Says a quick goodbye to his friends and you try to ignore the looks they cast over at you.Ā 
ā€œLetā€™s go,ā€ he says a minute later.
ā€œAre we calling an Uber or something?ā€ you ask.
ā€œIā€™m sober because I rode my bike here,ā€ he says as he leads the way outside.
ā€œIā€™m sorry, you rode your what?ā€ you ask, brain slow to catch up with what heā€™s saying. Itā€™s then that you notice he didnā€™t just grab his jacket. Heā€™s got a helmet as well.Ā 
ā€œBike,ā€ he says and indicates a motorcycle parked outside the bar.Ā 
That brings you up a little short. Itā€™s the last thing you would have expected when you thought of this man. Though, maybe it shouldnā€™t have been. After all, you said he was a study in contrasts. Isnā€™t this just another one of those?Ā 
Somehow, the more you look, the more it seems to suit him. Itā€™s not some big, clunky bike. Not what you typically think of when you think of a motorcycle. Itā€™s sharp and beautiful, just like he is, even if you can only admit that in your head. He pulls open a compartment that seems to be under the backseat and hands over a helmet.Ā 
ā€œPromise I wonā€™t go too fast,ā€ he says with a softer smile than youā€™ve seen on him before. Like heā€™s actually trying to reassure you.Ā 
Sure, itā€™s not the first time youā€™ve been on a bike. Itā€™s just that of all the ways you could have seen this night ending, this wasnā€™t one of them. At least youā€™re not feeling too self conscious as you slide onto the bike behind Jeonghan and wrap your arms around his waist. You miss the way his breath stutters as you settle in close to him. Miss the way his heart starts to beat out of his chest because youā€™re too focused on getting comfortable. Donā€™t even think twice about clinging to his lean frame. But, even with the drinks, itā€™s hard to ignore the way that your body slots perfectly against his. Or the way your thighs squeeze against his hips. Maybe thereā€™s a lot more to whatever has been happening than youā€™ve been admitting to yourself.Ā 
Once you reach Jeonghanā€™s apartment, he carefully helps you off the bike and then puts a bit of distance between you again. Itā€™s the first time that you notice he seems nervous, like maybe, you think, he might be reconsidering if this was a good idea. Thereā€™s not really much you can do about that now. You promised Seungkwan that he could have some privacy in the apartment and youā€™re already here. It canā€™t possibly be so bad that you really regret coming here. It could even help you sort through the very complicated feelings that are making their presence known.Ā 
Inside the apartment itā€™s incredibly cozy. Not at all like you imagine two single guys would live while theyā€™re in school. Itā€™s not overly cluttered, but it doesnā€™t feel cold either. Jeonghan disappears as soon as you both have your shoes off, which lets you look around at some of the decorations. He returns with a spare t-shirt and shorts for you to change into. Despite your insistence that itā€™s fine, he just presses them to you and indicates where the bathroom is for you to change.Ā 
It feels oddlyā€¦comfortable. Like this isnā€™t the first time youā€™ve seen him outside of class or your office. It also makes you take a little longer to change because you have to process whatever youā€™re feeling. Since youā€™re not sure exactly what to do after you change, you peek your head out into the living area. Jeonghan is setting some snacks and water out with the TV on in the background. You take it as a sign that youā€™re supposed to come out and join him. Momentarily, he disappears into his room and reappears also wearing more comfortable clothes.Ā 
The confusion only gets even worse from there. Maybe itā€™s just that Seungkwanā€™s gotten into your head. Since youā€™re finally processing that you might be interested in being something a little more with Jeonghan, you expect things to go a certain way. Seungkwan, and your other friends, for that matter, seem to think itā€™s only a matter of time before you cross over into being more than friends. Subconsciously, your brain must have latched onto that. Even wanted it, a little. But, now youā€™re here, and Jeonghan doesnā€™t do anything. Heā€™s not the smooth, confident person that youā€™ve gotten to know over the course of the semester. He doesnā€™t try to pull any moves on you. Just makes sure that youā€™re comfortable, that you like the snacks, and that you like the show he has on.
It all feels like itā€™s a little too much and so Jeonghan shows you the way to his bedroom. Your nerves feel frayed because surely, this is the moment where things finally shift. Surely this is when he makes whatever move heā€™s held off on making up until this point. Quickly, you brush off the need to change the sheets. Itā€™s not like itā€™s that big of a deal if something else happens. Without giving your brain a chance to overthink it, you lean in to give him a hug. His whole body tenses for a second and youā€™re about to pull away, when he finally relaxes and wraps his arms around you.
ā€œYou know, you can just sleep in your own bed,ā€ you offer carefully.
ā€œI donā€™t want you to be uncomfortable,ā€ he says through an emotion that you canā€™t place.Ā 
ā€œI wonā€™t be. Plus, Iā€™d hate to force you into your roommateā€™s bed,ā€ you suggest again, meeting his eye to reinforce the point.
ā€œOh, well, itā€™sā€¦ā€ he starts, eyes avoiding your gaze.
ā€œReally, Jeonghan, itā€™s fine. Your bed is big,ā€ you say.
ā€œOkay,ā€ he agrees and walks to the other side of the bed.
Itā€™s confusing, to say the least. He slides into the opposite side of the bed without meeting your eyes again. Youā€™re not exactly sure how to give him another sign that you want something else to happen without making it too obvious, especially because itā€™s not clear if he wants that. The guy constantly in your office was just on the right side of flirty. Always trying to wear you down. This Jeonghan in his apartment is much quieter, more reserved. Like heā€™s not really sure what happens now that heā€™s gotten you outside of school like he claims heā€™s wanted.Ā 
ā€œDā€™you usually sleep with the TV on?ā€ he asks and you pull a face.
ā€œIā€™m not a psycho,ā€ you snort.Ā 
ā€œGood to know after I let you into my apartment,ā€ he jokes back and turns on the TV anyway. ā€œIā€™ll set a timer just in case we both fall asleep.ā€Ā 
Confusing. Youā€™re laying in bed with this person that up until tonight you referred to as basically a stranger and thereā€™s justā€¦nothing happening. The two of you are plenty close enough that you could brush up against him, yet not touching at all. His attention seems to stay forward on the TV. Occasionally, he shifts to get more comfortable, but he doesnā€™t get onto his phone or even really look over at you.Ā 
Thankfully, the bed is comfortable and without even realizing it, you drift off to sleep laying on your side, facing Jeonghan. The last thing you remember is looking up at his face. Appreciating the cut of his jaw and the way the light from the TV threw his features into contrast. Then nothing but the easiest sleep youā€™ve had after a night of drinking.
In the morning, when itā€™s too early to wake up after a late night but late enough that the sun seeps through the curtains, you have a momentary panic wondering where you are. Slowly, the night before settles back into your brain and you relax into the bed. Itā€™s only when you feel a weight around your middle that you wonder if everything is coming back. It is, though. You think back to the last things you remember before falling asleep. Jeonghan was safely on his side of the bed. Now, his arm is draped over your waist and heā€™s breathing rhythmically like heā€™s still fast asleep. For once, instead of overthinking it, you just slow your brain back down and drift back into sleep. After all, this is one the right path to what you wanted the night before.Ā 
The sun is fully up when you wake up again if the light streaming around the curtains is any indication. Thatā€™s not the only difference, either. Thereā€™s no weight around your waist and, when you look over your shoulder, the other side of the bed is empty. Which isnā€™t entirely surprising when your phone tells you that itā€™s nearly noon. Itā€™s very unlike you to sleep in that late, but it makes sense. Youā€™re just thankful that Jeonghan insisted on giving you so much water and something to make sure you didnā€™t wake up with a headache. Even though youā€™re still a little tired, youā€™re not hungover and that feels like a miracle.Ā 
But, what do you do now? Nothing happened last night, despite genuinely feeling like Jeonghan had some level of interest in you. But, then he did share the bed with you and curl up to you during the night. Maybe that was his subconscious way of showing what he couldnā€™t say. Youā€™re out of the bed and nearly out the bedroom door when you hear voices drifting in from somewhere else in the apartment. Voices, plural. One is clearly Jeonghan, but the other sounds female and that stops you in your tracks.Ā 
The decision is immediate once you hear the second voice laughing at something Jeonghan says. You open your group chat with Seungkwan, Chan, and Vernon to ask if any of them are around to pick you up. Chan is the first, and fastest, to respond, saying to drop your location and heā€™ll be out the door to get you in a minute without any questions asked. Thatā€™s more than youā€™re expecting and youā€™re incredibly thankful. Makes it feel like one weight has been lighted as you quickly and quietly get dressed back into the clothes you wore the night before.Ā 
Chan texts you to let you know heā€™s only a few minutes out. Thatā€™s your queue to actually leave the bedroom and make an appearance out in the rest of the apartment. Jeonghanā€™s back is to you and it looks like heā€™s got a cup of coffee next to him. The other person you heard from the bedroom is, in fact, a woman. Sheā€™s stunning in an effortless way that actually makes your head hurt a little bit. It has absolutely nothing to do with the drinks the night before, either. Her eyes land on you and thereā€™s a smile you canā€™t place. It could be saying that she knows she won, despite whatever effort you made. Something on her face must tip Jeonghan off because he turns around.
And itā€™s worse than you thought, immediately. The smile on his face is both welcoming and soft, like heā€™s actually happy to see you. It only makes the whole thing more confusing. Why is he looking at you like that with one of the most beautiful people sitting across from him?Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re awake,ā€ he says, still smiling. ā€œI hope Hana here didnā€™t make too much noise.ā€Ā 
ā€œSorry, babe, I only have one volume setting,ā€ she, Hana, apparently, says with another smile you canā€™t place.Ā 
ā€œDo you want coffee? Something to eat?ā€ Jeonghan says and starts to get out of his chair.
ā€œNo, no, itā€™s fine. My friend is almost here to pick me up. Thanks for letting me crash last night,ā€ you say without fully meeting Jeonghanā€™s eyes. It means you miss the confusion that settles in there.
Without a backward glance, youā€™re out the door and down the elevator. Itā€™s only another minute or so before Chan pulls up, shockingly by himself, and smiles softly at you as you get into his car. All he asks is if youā€™re hungry and then starts navigating to your favorite place to get breakfast food thatā€™s open at least into the early afternoon. Itā€™s exactly what you need right now.Ā 
Chan lets you just be in your head while he drives with music playing softly in the background. It might be a dangerous decision, honestly. All you can think about are reasons for that person, Hana, your brain supplies automatically, to be in Jeonghanā€™s apartment like that. His roommate wasnā€™t home, to the best of your knowledge, so that means she was there for Jeonghan. Was that his girlfriend? Was that why he was so reluctant to do anything the night before? On some level, you do know thatā€™s probably not the right answer. The rational part of your brain knows that he wouldnā€™t be so calm if that was his girlfriend. Thereā€™s no space in your brain for rationality right now, though. So, youā€™re going to stew in the feelings that she could be dating someone.Ā 
ā€œDo you wanna talk about whatever happened last night?ā€ Chan asks once youā€™re sitting opposite of each other in a booth.Ā 
ā€œNot really,ā€ you say. ā€œNothing happened last night, though. So, you donā€™t have to worry about whoever wins the bet.ā€Ā 
ā€œIā€™m not worried about some stupid bet. Iā€™m worried about you,ā€ he says.Ā 
You shrug. ā€œI think I might actually like him.ā€
ā€œNo shit,ā€ Chan says with a knowing smile.
ā€œYou didnā€™t let me finish. I think I might like him and I donā€™t think it matters,ā€ you say.
ā€œStart at the beginning and weā€™ll figure this out together.ā€Ā 
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Itā€™s been a week since whatever happened at Jeonghanā€™s apartment and you havenā€™t spoken a word to him since leaving. Not that he hasnā€™t tried to speak to you. After breakfast with Chan, you realized you had both texts and missed calls from Jeonghan trying to figure out what went wrong. Those stay unanswered. Even if youā€™re being stupid, you canā€™t really bring yourself to behave in a different way. When the next class comes around, you avoid his eyes as much as possible. The one or two times you do look over at him, he looks incredibly hurt and confused. Itā€™s funny, you think, how heā€™s the one thatā€™s acting put out by this whole situation when youā€™re the one who had to wake up to some other woman in his apartment without understanding anything.Ā 
That leads to your first office hours. Thankfully, Jeonghan doesnā€™t show up to those like he normally would. The office feels a lot quieter, even though other students stop by to ask questions. It just all feels very professional and detached. Not comfortable in the way it does when he drops by. Itā€™s hard to admit, even to yourself, that you had gotten used to having him around. That you even looked forward to it. Somehow, youā€™re not really sure how, Jeonghan became one of your favorite parts of every day you saw him. That realization makes you want to crawl into your bed and hide forever. No matter what, it doesnā€™t feel like youā€™ll have the option to go back to that. It sucks to realize it just took you too long to come to the very obvious conclusion.Ā 
Now, at least, itā€™s the weekend again so you have a short reprieve from all things school related. Well, all things Jeonghan related because you still have your own homework to handle, assignments to grade, and a new week to prepare for. At the very least, you deserve a little bit of a treat. Texting the group chat makes you realize, though, that a lot of your friends seem to have their own things going on.Ā 
Seungkwan is out spending the day with the same person that he brought home last weekend. They seem like theyā€™re really enjoying getting to know each other, which youā€™re rooting for wholeheartedly. You want your roommate and best friend to be happy. Vernon is kind of vague saying that heā€™s got other plans. With anyone else, you might think that heā€™s also seeing someone. You just know that he tends to be a little spacy when it comes to sharing plans. Knowing Vernon, heā€™s probably just off with some friend of his. Once again, Chan comes through and says that he could really use a coffee. Apparently, thereā€™s some new cafe by him that heā€™s been wanting to try out. It feels like an excuse because Chan will absolutely go anywhere by himself, but you take it all the same. Heā€™s actually probably the easiest of your friends to speak to about this, even if heā€™s younger than you are.Ā 
One sip into your drink proves that this is the best decision for a Saturday afternoon. Chan chatters away about the things that have been going on in his life. Heā€™s taking more dance classes in every free moment he has and itā€™s nice to see the way his face lights up talking about it. He certainly seems happier than any time you see him talking about his actual classes. Think about suggesting he give up one thing to pursue something else that would truly make him happy. His face is different when heā€™s happy like this. It makes it obvious how strained he feels with everything else.
A laugh pierces through the crowd and it gives you the worst sense of deja vu. Suddenly, youā€™re back in Jeonghanā€™s apartment. Which is crazy, right? What are the odds that he and the mystery woman are in this same coffee shop at the same time as you and Chan?
Not impossible, apparently. Well, at least in part. Your eyes cast around for the source of the laugh when they land on the mystery woman sitting with someone else that you donā€™t recognize. Your brain tries to stutter over the name before it forces you to think, Hana. Just as youā€™re about to look away, her eyes find yours like she could sense someone looking at her. She flashes a smile, which you try to return, before looking back at Chan and whatever story heā€™s sharing.Ā 
That should be it. Except, when she appears by your side a moment later, you realize itā€™s not. She has someone else youā€™ve never seen in tow behind her. Chan, not always as quick on the uptake, looks up at her in confusion.
ā€œHey, I wasnā€™t sure if you remembered meā€¦ā€ she begins and youā€™re quick to answer.
ā€œI do, yeah. Sorry about the other day,ā€ you say. Chanā€™s face has a look of dawning comprehension.Ā 
ā€œNo, no, itā€™s fine. Iā€™m sorry if I did something to offend you. I didnā€™t even catch your name,ā€ Hana says and you open your mouth to share before she cuts you off with a wave of her hand. ā€œNo, Jeonghan told me. Heā€™s done nothing but speak about you for weeks now.ā€
ā€œAnd I thought I could be annoying,ā€ the mystery person says from behind Hana.
ā€œOh, Iā€™m so rude. This is my boyfriend, Joshua,ā€ Hana introduces and your brain short circuits. What? Boyfriend?
ā€œAnd Jeonghanā€™s roommate. I hit traffic coming back last weekend or I wouldā€™ve been there to meet you as well. Make the morning even more awkward,ā€ he jokes.
ā€œIā€™m sorry,ā€ you say, rapidly trying to make your brain connect. ā€œYou two are dating?ā€
ā€œYup!ā€ Hana says with a smile and then notices your face. ā€œWait, what did you think? That I was dating Jeonghan?ā€
ā€œOh, well, I donā€™t know. I just thoughtā€¦it was still early-ish in the day andā€¦ā€ you stumble awkwardly.Ā 
ā€œBabe, no. Jeonghan is very single. I was just early getting there because Joshua hit traffic and I was excited to see him,ā€ she says. ā€œHe will kill me for saying this, but he hasnā€™t talked about anyone but you since the class started.ā€
ā€œPlease note that I had no part in spilling the beans. I have to live with him,ā€ Joshua jokes.Ā 
ā€œAnd just so thereā€™s no more confusion, Iā€™m one of her closest friends, Chan. Not a boyfriend or date or anything like that,ā€ Chan says.Ā 
ā€œOh!ā€ Hana says and turns to Joshua. ā€œJeonghan was mentioning him, remember? There was a movie we were supposed to watch.ā€Ā 
ā€œYeah, he did mention that,ā€ Joshua agrees.
ā€œAnyway, Iā€™m sure you have lots to think about, but Iā€™m nosy and I figured Iā€™d say hi. Have a good weekend!ā€ Hana says, full of more energy than anyone should have on the weekend. Joshua gives a smile and follows her out of the shop.
As soon as theyā€™re out of sight, you drop your head into your hands. All that worrying and you could have just talked to him. Could have avoided this whole idiotic situation.Ā 
ā€œFeeling kinda dumb right now?ā€ Chan asks. You raise your head to glare at him. ā€œI did say it didnā€™t seem like he was seeing someone.ā€Ā 
ā€œNot the time, Chan,ā€ you say.
ā€œItā€™s completely the time. Look, yeah you fucked up by not just talking to him. But, you admitted that you liked him. He clearly likes you. Just talk to him. Iā€™m sure you can fix it,ā€ he says.Ā 
ā€œI donā€™t know,ā€ you start. ā€œI was such an asshole.ā€Ā 
ā€œI mean, yeah, you kind of were. But, he spent that whole night after Seungkwan invited them over getting to know your friends. Genuinely interested in everything we said. Heā€™s not doing that just to make more friends. He wants to show you that he can fit into your life without anything really having to change,ā€ Chan reasons and it brings you up short.
ā€œWhen did you get so smart?ā€ you question.
ā€œIā€™ve always been smart, you just treat me like a baby,ā€ he says with an eye roll.
ā€œYou are the baby in this friend group,ā€ you point out.Ā 
ā€œJust go figure out how to make it up to him,ā€ Chan says.Ā 
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Even though you know it was a terrible miscommunication, youā€™re not sure how to approach Jeonghan for the rest of the weekend. Youā€™re also not sure how the conversation will go. So, despite knowing better, you decide to just take your time. Get yourself completely set for the coming week and figure that youā€™ll see Jeonghan during the next class. As much as you want resolution, you donā€™t feel like it would be enough for you to text him and ask to talk. That could also be taken wildly out of context.
So, you prepare for the next class. Make sure you look a little cuter than you normally would for class. Go over what youā€™re going to say with both Seungkwan and Chan, whoā€™s gotten incredibly invested in the whole situation. Itā€™s another class where youā€™ll just be sitting in the back and listening, which might also make it easier. Youā€™re a little early getting there so that you can set all your things down.Ā 
But, then the class starts to fill in and you donā€™t see Jeonghan. Professor Choi closes the door, doesnā€™t comment on Jeonghanā€™s absence, and just starts teaching. Itā€™s unusual. He normally takes attendance. Instead, he does a head count of the students and gets on with teaching. Everyone else is there. Jeonghan is the only one missing. You figure that maybe he reached out about missing the class. It leaves a weird feeling in your stomach, though, because you wonder if heā€™s okay. What if something happened to him?Ā 
At the end of class, you join Choi at the front as you do on every other occasion. The answer comes immediately when Choi looks up at you. ā€œMr. Yoon emailed me before the class to say that he was feeling very sick and wouldnā€™t be able to make it. I assured him you would send over some notes on the subject matter today.ā€Ā 
You try to avoid any relief that you feel at knowing itā€™s at least nothing that serious. It sucks that heā€™s sick, but at least he wasnā€™t in an accident or anything. You need to stop going to the worst case scenario, honestly. ā€œOh, sure. Iā€™m sure heā€™s already ahead on the material, but Iā€™ll send it over.ā€
ā€œHeā€™s such a good student,ā€ Choi agrees. ā€œThank you for helping him with the proposal. Iā€™m not sure if you read it over, but itā€™s exactly what I was looking for.ā€
ā€œI did read it because he wrote it during my office hours. But, it was all him,ā€ you say.Ā 
Professor Choi looks up at you like he knows thatā€™s not entirely true. ā€œI can feel your influence on it. In a good way, of course. You have a habit of helping people get to their best results.ā€
ā€œThank you,ā€ you say earnestly. Itā€™s the most genuine compliment heā€™s ever given you. He reaches into his briefcase and pulls out a folder to hand to you. ā€œDid I miss picking up an assignment to grade?ā€
ā€œNo,ā€ he says with a smile youā€™re not used to seeing. ā€œThis is your letter for the recommendation packet. I already sent it in, but I thought you might like to see a copy.ā€
ā€œThank you so much, Professor Choi,ā€ you say with a relieved sigh.Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re incredibly bright, probably one of the brightest students Iā€™ve ever taught,ā€ he says and it takes you completely by surprise. ā€œI know itā€™s probably seemed like Iā€™ve been hard on you because I have been. I knew there was even more potential in you waiting to be coaxed out. I also know I made it much easier on John to ask for a recommendation. But, between you and I, your letter is much more complimentary and personal than his was. I canā€™t wait to see what you accomplish.ā€Ā 
It all suddenly makes sense. Everything that Choi has put you through since asking for his letter. It almost makes you laugh. ā€œIā€™m sorry for doubting your motives for asking me to TA this class.ā€
Now, Professor Choi does actually laugh. ā€œOh, no need to apologize for that. Itā€™s much easier to get the most out of a student when they think they have something to prove.ā€
ā€œYou may be onto something,ā€ you agree.
ā€œIā€™ll see you next class,ā€ he says and closes up his briefcase to head off.
With that bit of good news, you feel a lot lighter. You almost donā€™t even need to read the letter (though, you definitely will later). Itā€™s enough to know that your entire future is still open ahead of you. It makes all of the miscommunication with Jeonghan feel incredibly silly. It also makes you feel a little bolder. So, you figure that you still have the location for Jeonghanā€™s apartment dropped in a group chat. Why not get him some food and medicine to help him feel better? Itā€™ll give you a chance to apologize for how youā€™ve handled everything up until this point.Ā 
That idea seems a little poorly thought out when you show up at Jeonghanā€™s apartment with soup and medication. He answers the door, looking completely fine healthwise and confused to see you standing on the other side of the door.Ā 
ā€œProfessor Choi said you were really sick so I figured Iā€™d bring some soup to help you feel better,ā€ you offer, holding up the bag to show him.Ā 
ā€œWhy are you here?ā€ he asks. Thereā€™s none of the normal warmth.
ā€œI was worried about you,ā€ you admit.
He sighs and leans against the doorframe without letting you in. ā€œI canā€™t do these mind games.ā€Ā 
ā€œIā€™m sorry,ā€ you say immediately. ā€œI know I messed up really badly. I owe you an apology.ā€Ā 
ā€œYou might as well come in,ā€ Jeonghan says and steps aside. ā€œSoup does also sound good. Itā€™s cold out.ā€Ā 
ā€œRight, here,ā€ you say and hand it over to him.
ā€œIs there enough for you to eat with me?ā€ he asks and takes the bag. ā€œOh, it looks like it. Wanna join me? And you can try to explain whatā€™s been going on?ā€Ā 
ā€œSure,ā€ you agree.
Itā€™s mostly silent as Jeonghan heats up the soup and puts it into two bowls for you to enjoy it with him. He sets the bowls at the kitchen table and also sets some drinks down for you. The two of you take a few sips first before you venture to explain whatā€™s been going on.
ā€œIā€™m really sorry, Jeonghan,ā€ you say.
ā€œSo youā€™ve said,ā€ he comments. Heā€™s not going to make this easy on you.
ā€œThat whole night when I stayed here wasnā€™t exactly what I signed up for,ā€ you admit. He opens his mouth, but you wave him off. ā€œLet me try to get this out. You were so kind and caring to me when you brought me back here. Then, I was kind of expecting something to happen and nothing didā€¦ā€
ā€œBecause you had been drinking. I wasnā€™t just gonna be like hey, letā€™s jump into bed when your mind wasnā€™t fully clear,ā€ he says with a scoff.Ā 
ā€œThatā€™s fair. I get that,ā€ you acknowledge. ā€œThen, I donā€™t know. I saw Hana sitting out here with you the next day and I just kinda freaked out. I had realized that I might actually like you and hereā€™s this beautiful person in your apartment for who knows what reason. I worried she was your girlfriend or something.ā€
He snorts a little derisively at that. ā€œThat would be kinda shitty to share a bed with you and then let you walk out to find me with a girlfriend. Sheā€™s not, by the way. Sheā€™s my roommate Joshuaā€™s girlfriend.ā€
ā€œYeah, I know. I ran into her and Joshua while I was getting coffee over the weekend,ā€ you admit sheepishly. This seems to surprise him.
ā€œYou met Joshua?ā€ he asks.Ā 
ā€œThey didnā€™t tell you?ā€ you ask in return and he shakes his head. ā€œProbably because Hana told me that Iā€™m the only one youā€™ve talked about since starting the class.ā€Ā 
ā€œI wouldnā€™t have even cared if I had an answer to why you started ignoring me,ā€ he says.Ā 
ā€œI got a bit scared,ā€ you say softly.Ā 
ā€œThat doesnā€™t mean you shouldnā€™t just speak to me,ā€ he insists.
ā€œI know that. I really am sorry, thatā€™s all I can say,ā€ you offer.Ā 
ā€œWell that and you can tell me that you do actually like me. Not that you might like me or something else vague,ā€ he says with a glint to his eyes.Ā 
ā€œYou areā€¦infuriating,ā€ you say with a laugh. ā€œYouā€™re beautiful and smart and funny and impossibly kind. You make me want to pull out my hair at least once a dayā€¦ā€
ā€œDonā€™t do that. You have nice hair,ā€ he interjects.
ā€œBut, yes, Iā€™m trying not to be scared anymore. So yeah, I do like you,ā€ you say.
ā€œWhat about being the TA for my class?ā€ he asks and you shrug.Ā 
ā€œThe class will end eventually,ā€ you say.Ā 
ā€œDoes this count as our first date, then?ā€ he asks like the true demon he is.Ā 
ā€œOnly if you plan something else for our second date,ā€ you concede.
ā€œDeal,ā€ he agrees.Ā 
Everything feels a little bit easier after that. A little bit lighter. Like you actually can breathe for the first time all semester. You tell Jeonghan about the letter and he suggests that you read it right then with him. It makes sense, in a way. Working with Jeonghan has brought out exactly the side to you that Choi wanted to see. It feels like this is kind of his win as well, even though he didnā€™t realize it. It also feels a little less overwhelming to read it with him by your side. (Itā€™s a rave. Way better than anything you could have dared to hope for and better than any other letter written by him that youā€™ve read. Everything feels worth it and like it falls into place.)
Now that the awkwardness is out of the way, Jeonghan shares that he wasnā€™t actually sick, which you already know. Itā€™s obvious looking at him that he feels fine. It does surprise you a bit that he admits to avoiding you to give himself time to process, though. Then he moves onto talking about Joshua and Hana, grumbling that they hadnā€™t told him about running into you after you relay the entire conversation. Even goes as far as to say that he would have come to class so that you could have figured all of this out. Instead, he admits telling Joshua about the plan to skip. Thatā€™s why Joshua isnā€™t there, though. He claimed he was going to give Jeonghan his space to work through whatever he was feeling and spend the night at Hanaā€™s. You make a mental note to thank Joshua for that.Ā 
ā€œHow early is your day tomorrow? Do you want to stay and watch a movie or something?ā€ he asks a little awkwardly when you finish your soup.
ā€œNot that early,ā€ you answer easily. ā€œA movie sounds good, but can we watch something in your room? I feel like laying in bed and being lazy.ā€
ā€œOh, uh, sure,ā€ he says.
ā€œWe donā€™t have to,ā€ you say quickly.
ā€œCan I say something thatā€™s really gonna make me lookā€¦not cool?ā€ he asks.Ā 
ā€œSure,ā€ you say curiously.
ā€œYou make me a little nervous,ā€ he admits.Ā 
That completely surprises you. Nothing about Jeonghan really seems anything short of confident in everything that he does. Itā€™s kind of nice to see him falter. All you do is hold out a hand to him. ā€œItā€™s okay, thereā€™s nothing to be nervous about.ā€
He takes your hand easily and lets you lead him into his own bedroom. Seems very content to let you just set the pace of whatā€™s happening. So, you settle on top of his covers and he hands you the remote. Itā€™s nice to get to control whatā€™s on the TV for a change, even if youā€™re not really paying much attention to it. Jeonghan is a little stiff against his headboard as you try to settle into his body.Ā 
ā€œIs it okay if I lean against you like this?ā€ you ask, suddenly worrying this is too much.
ā€œOf course,ā€ he says after a moment.Ā 
ā€œYou can tell me ifā€¦ā€ you start.
ā€œNo,ā€ he says firmly. ā€œNo, Iā€™ve been thinking about this since the last time I had you in my bed.ā€
ā€œJust since then?ā€ you tease.
ā€œNo, it was definitely before then, but Iā€™ve already lost a lot of cool points,ā€ he says.
ā€œI donā€™t want to possibly misread the signs, but are you okay withā€¦ā€ you start, once again, before he cuts you off.
ā€œI am fine with absolutely anything you want to give me,ā€ he says and you wish you could see his face. Wonder if heā€™s blushing.
ā€œAnd if thatā€™s just a cuddle?ā€ you test.
ā€œFine,ā€ he says.
ā€œOr if itā€™s a kiss?ā€ you ask and feel the breath he takes. ā€œOr what about if itā€™s a lot more than a kiss?ā€Ā 
He takes another beat. His voice sounds a bit strained when he speaks. ā€œDefinitely more than just fine.ā€Ā 
Thatā€™s really all the confirmation that you need. Making sure youā€™re on the same page is important and getting this kind of consent makes it easier to relax. You settle further back into his chest and pull his arm around you, let one of your own arms drape across his lap. It feels like it might be easier for him to settle that way. So that you canā€™t see his face and he doesnā€™t have to worry about losing any more cool points. Not that those really matter with you anyway. More than anything, itā€™s entertaining to see the way this constantly confident, perpetual pain in the ass gets so tongue-tied now that heā€™s getting what he wants.Ā 
The more time goes by, the more he seems to relax a little more into whatā€™s happening around him. His fingers absently run along your arm, raising goosebumps in their wake. He leans his head down to meet yours and you could swear his lips press the lightest kiss into your hair. His entire presence is a little overwhelming. And he smells amazing. Itā€™s such a unique scent that you canā€™t place. Something light, airy, and delicate. Something that seems to perfectly suit him. It might be your new favorite scent.Ā 
Nothing about the TV show is keeping your attention. It feels like little more than a precursor to what you both know is coming. But, Jeonghan doesnā€™t make the first move beyond the contact his fingers make with your arm. The first actual move seems like it might belong to you, which is actually kind of exciting. Itā€™s a bit thrilling to know that youā€™re going to be in charge with this man whoā€™s done nothing but send every one of your senses into overdrive. Itā€™s nice to know that he doesnā€™t need to be in control of everything.Ā 
Almost as if youā€™re testing the water, you run your hand across his lap, careful to go slowly. He stops breathing for a second as he seems to wait to see what youā€™ll do next. It prompts you to run your hand back and forth a few more times, not bothering to move on from the subtle imprint of his dick through his sweatpants. Everything about him stills: his hand freezes on your arm, he doesnā€™t fidget, and his breathing is incredibly shallow. He starts to get noticeably harder underneath your hand while you keep your eyes trained forward, even though you have no idea whatā€™s going on in whatever show you picked as background noise. Thereā€™s something strangely intimate about this in the way it feels a little innocent.Ā 
Finally, when he starts to moan a little with each motion, you pull your hand away. Delight in the way he actually whimpers at the loss of contact. Itā€™s time to actually face him so that you can see what youā€™re doing to him. Repositioning yourself, you see the look on his face. Heā€™s a little flushed just from the attention and his eyes are wide. Waiting. All heā€™s doing is waiting to let you set what happens next, like he canā€™t really believe that this is happening after so much time. It is, though.Ā 
You run a hand through his hair and marvel at how soft it is when it looks perfectly styled. Either his hair just looks like that or heā€™s got the best products in the world. Neither feels fair when heā€™s already this stunningly beautiful. Gently, you lean forward to press your lips against his. Let your hand tangle in his hair as you anchor yourself to him. The kiss is at complete odds with you slowly rubbing him through his pants. Thereā€™s a little bit of desperation and youā€™re not even sure which of you itā€™s coming from. All you know for sure is that his lips are so soft that they feel like clouds and he doesnā€™t even fight you for control when you slide your tongue into his mouth. Just meets whatever pace you set. He really is happy with whatever you give him.Ā 
Your free hand winds down his body and doesnā€™t waste any time slipping into the waistband of his pants. When your hand wraps around his cock, he tries to pull away from the kiss, but you donā€™t let him. The moan that comes from you running your thumb over his tip gets caught up in your lips. You pull your hand out just long enough to spit into your palm and return it to the inside of his pants. Jeonghan does break the kiss when your hand wraps around his cock and strokes the first time, a hiss coming out of his mouth.Ā 
ā€œAre you still sure youā€™re okay?ā€ you ask, but itā€™s almost more of a tease.Ā 
ā€œFuck,ā€ he hisses out. ā€œPlease donā€™t stop. Please.ā€
Hearing him nearly begging like that is the sweetest sound youā€™ve ever heard. Never could you have imagined you would have this man like putty beneath your hands. Itā€™s going to your head a little bit and then it hits you. You wonder if you can make him come just like this. Wonder how that would feel to have that kind of power over him.Ā 
So, you do the only logical thing, and decide to test it out. You kiss him again, fierce and messy and desperate. Keep a steady rhythm of stroking him. Heā€™s a squirming, writhing mess under your touch and itā€™s like he doesnā€™t even remember what to do with his hands. Itā€™s actually turning you on as well to know that he wants you this bad. That nothing more than your lips and his touch are going to send him over the edge. Itā€™s obvious when he starts getting close because he works harder to break the kiss. Canā€™t seem to catch his breath. You take a little pity on him and kiss across his jaw. Even pull away to watch him as he squeezes his eyes shut.
ā€œYouā€™re gonna make me come,ā€ he whimpers.
ā€œSo come,ā€ you direct.
ā€œI canā€™t come in my pants like a fucking teenager,ā€ he protests. ā€œPlease, Iā€™m beggingā€¦ā€
ā€œI want you to come for me, Jeonghan. Right now. Exactly like this. Come for me and show me how desperate youā€™ve been to have my hands on your cock,ā€ you instruct.
ā€œFuck,ā€ he draws out. ā€œFuck, I canā€™tā€¦Iā€™m gonnaā€¦ā€
His release comes almost out of nowhere, so hard and heavy that it coats your hand as you continue to stroke him through the release, coaxing every last bit from him. Once heā€™s spent, he collapses back against the headboard of the bed and you see any tension drain from his body. You pull your hand from inside his pants and wipe it off on them. Thankfully, he doesnā€™t even seem to protest.Ā 
While his breathing steadies, you shift and get off of the bed. He slowly opens his eyes and tracks your movement. Only swallows a little hard when you start to undress without taking your eyes off him. Sometimes, this part makes you a little self conscious. Itā€™s much easier now, though, knowing you had just made Jeonghan come in his pants. Thatā€™s an ego boost you never expected to get. His breath stutters when you even remove your bra and panties, leaving yourself completely exposed before him. His eyes go somehow even wider when you get back onto the bed and position yourself in front of him. He reaches out to touch you, but you slap his hand away.
ā€œOh, no, no,ā€ you chastise softly. ā€œNo, my little demon, you are going to watch now.ā€
ā€œWatch?ā€ he asks.Ā 
ā€œYes, watch,ā€ you confirm and study his face. ā€œDonā€™t you want to watch me get myself off? Donā€™t you want to watch me show you exactly what it is that I like?ā€Ā 
ā€œF-fuck thatā€™sā€¦wow,ā€ he stutters out.Ā 
You lean back, using one hand behind you on the bed to brace yourself. You spread your legs open to show him the way your pussy already glistens a little. The kissing and the feel of bringing him over the edge like that really turned you on. Itā€™s a little bit of a first for you. Running a finger up your entrance, you collect some of the wetness there. Do it once more for good measure. And then, still emboldened by whatā€™s happened so far, you reach forward to hold your finger out to Jeonghan. Let it run along his lip until he takes it into his mouth and tastes you.Ā 
ā€œFuck, youā€™re soā€¦just, fuck,ā€ he hisses. ā€œCan Iā€¦ā€
ā€œNo,ā€ you say and cut him off, pulling your finger back.Ā 
Now that youā€™ve had a taste of him begging for something, you want to drive him to that again. Want to get him so turned on that he canā€™t even see straight. You slowly tease at your entrance and watch the way his eyes track each movement. When you use your free hand to play with one of your nipples, he seems like he canā€™t really figure out where to look. Then, you slide one finger into your pussy and itā€™s like he canā€™t see to take his eyes off the motion. You moan, even though itā€™s nowhere near enough of a stretch, and increase the rhythm. Quickly add another finger and start to fuck yourself just the way you like. Just the way you would when you want to draw out your release a little more than using a toy. You slide your free hand down your body and use it to rub small circles on your clit. Somewhere, the thought of Jeonghan watching you becomes a little secondary. Itā€™s incredibly sexy to know that heā€™s just watching, but youā€™re also invested in your own high. You want to do this for yourself as much as to show Jeonghan. Canā€™t possibly realize that Jeonghan is even more turned on knowing that youā€™re so lost to your own passion.Ā 
The orgasm washes over you more suddenly than youā€™re expecting and it takes a moment to catch your breath. It takes another moment to realize that Jeonghan has undressed himself while you were lost in your own world. He isnā€™t touching himself though and you canā€™t figure out if heā€™s still sensitive or just waiting for your permission. Itā€™s hard to avoid the realization that every part of him is beautiful. His body is all lean lines, not overly muscular, yet still looks strong. Even his cock is kind of beautiful in a way, which isnā€™t fair. Itā€™s not surprising, though.Ā 
ā€œThat was one of the sexiest things Iā€™ve ever seen,ā€ he admits, a little breathless.Ā 
ā€œDā€™you think you can make me come as well?ā€ you tease. ā€œWant to feel my pussy squeeze around you?ā€Ā 
He nods immediately and it makes you laugh a little. ā€œI know I can. I wantā€¦ā€Ā 
ā€œTo taste me?ā€ you offer and his eyes go dark with lust.Ā 
ā€œCan I?ā€ he asks. ā€œCan I actually get a taste? Just your finger wasnā€™t really enough.ā€Ā 
ā€œI want to see what that mouth can do when itā€™s not talking a mile a minute,ā€ you say. ā€œI hope youā€™re just as good with your tongue.ā€
Itā€™s obvious that this catches him a little off guard that youā€™re so confident now with him. So easily fall into telling him exactly what you want him to do. But, youā€™re very curious to see what his skills are like. The two of you reposition so that he can settle between your legs. His eyes find yours, searching, Maybe asking permission. You nod and he uses his fingers to spread your lips open. He licks up your core and mutters a quiet fuck under his breath at your lingering wetness. The breath against your core sends a slight shiver through your body.Ā 
After all the build up and everything, you donā€™t really have the patience for him to go slow. So, you tangle your hand into his hair and press his head further into your cunt. Force his nose to brush against your clit. Donā€™t really stop to consider if itā€™s too much for him. His moans into you seem to show that theyā€™re not, though. Itā€™s nice to just take what you need and know that heā€™s enjoying it just as much as you are. When you ask him (read: tell him) to add a finger, he does it without question. For someone that always seems to have a retort for everything, heā€™s surprisingly quiet now. Nothing piercing the quiet of the room apart from the constant stream of moans from both of you and curses from you as you get closer to your second orgasm.Ā 
The second one hits a lot harder than the first, a fact that you wouldnā€™t really want to admit to Jeonghan. Itā€™s too obvious to hide, though. You donā€™t even care. Jeonghanā€™s tongue is far better than anything you could have dreamed about. Not that you were dreaming about it. (And not that you ever got yourself off in the shower or in your bed, late at night, thinking of the annoying guy who wouldnā€™t ever seem to leave you alone. Absolutely not.) When you open your eyes again, you find Jeonghan looking at you with awe. Thereā€™s nothing smug about his look. It makes your insides go even a little mushier. Itā€™s definitely not the time for those kinds of emotions.Ā 
ā€œWow,ā€ is all Jeonghan says.Ā 
ā€œYeah,ā€ you agree.Ā 
ā€œDo you still want toā€¦? I mean, can we stillā€¦ā€ he starts.
ā€œJeonghan, do I make you feel that nervous?ā€ you joke. ā€œYou just ate me out and made me come all over your face.ā€Ā 
He shrugs. ā€œI just donā€™t wanna press my luck.ā€Ā 
ā€œMaybe we just stop here then,ā€ you say with a return shrug. ā€œIā€™m not sure you want it enough.ā€
ā€œOh, no, I definitely want it,ā€ he disagrees.
ā€œAre you sure?ā€ you taunt. ā€œSure you can handle it?ā€Ā 
That unleashes a side of Jeonghan you havenā€™t fully seen yet. The next moment, heā€™s begging you for your pussy. Begging you to show you how much he still wants you. Begging to make up for the fake that he came in his pants just at your touch. Just begging for anything and everything. He even goes as far as to say that heā€™ll do all the work. It shouldnā€™t be working for you. Itā€™s kind of lame, the way he just canā€™t seem to stop himself from running his mouth. And, unfortunately, itā€™s working for you. You kiss him just to make him stop.Ā 
The kiss immediately turns into something desperate, but youā€™re not sure which one of you takes it there first. Every new bit of him you get only makes you want even more of him. Itā€™s kind of insane to think you werenā€™t even sure you liked him when itā€™s been so easy to fall into this. Jeonghan breaks the kiss and reaches over into his nightstand for a condom. Somehow, he manages to get it on in nearly record speed, despite his nerves about everything else. He doesnā€™t waste any time in positioning himself, either. You lie back when he spreads your legs open and seems a little drunk on the sight of you. You tap his side with your foot and he shakes his head clear of whatever he was thinking.Ā 
Jeonghan lines himself up at your entrance and presses his tip in. You arch your back, moaning at the initial stretch. Itā€™s immediately better than either of your fingers or his tongue. You wrap your legs around his waist to pull him in and it makes him snap into you in one swift movement. All you wanted was to be full and you squeeze your walls around him. Direct him to move. The two of you work together to figure out the right pace, knowing that neither of you is likely to last all that long. Youā€™re both a little sensitive from everything in the lead up to this moment. Still, you revel in the way that Jeonghan rolls his hips into you. Appreciate the way that he nearly pulls all the way out before snapping back into you. Moan into the sloppy kiss when your mouths crash together. Itā€™s hard to tell where your own whines start and his moans begin. The sounds all kind of blend together into some kind of weird harmony.Ā 
Where Jeonghan was incredibly vocal when he was begging, he doesnā€™t seem to have a coherent thought to share now. Yet, his eyes never leave you. Like heā€™s trying to map each part of your body. Itā€™s too fast for him to learn what you actually like. Thatā€™s not what you need, not right now. What you need is to have another release, one that comes at the same time as his own. And thatā€™s exactly what you get when you come hard again just as you feel his thrusts stutter. A moment later, heā€™s coming into the condom and eventually stilling inside of you.Ā 
The last thing you want is to feel the loss of him inside of you, but you understand that he has to pull out. His breathing is heavy when he rolls over onto his back. Itā€™s clear that he doesnā€™t want to get out of bed. That itā€™s a struggle. But, he gets up to dispose of the condom and you hear water running in the distance. He returns a moment later with a wet cloth and starts gently washing you without even asking. He tosses the cloth on his dresser and then collapses back on the bed next to you. Pulls you into his body without a second thought.
ā€œI donā€™t want to go anywhere,ā€ you say softly while youā€™re nestled into him.Ā 
ā€œLike I would let you leave,ā€ he says just as softly.
ā€œOh, the man that begs for my pussy is going to force me to stay?ā€ you challenge.Ā 
You feel the way his chest slightly rumbles with laughter. ā€œI was hoping youā€™d let me live for a second.ā€
ā€œAfter you not letting me live since we met? Fat chance,ā€ you answer.
ā€œI suppose I deserved that,ā€ he says.
ā€œI really donā€™t want to leave tonight, though, so hopefully you have more clothes to lend me,ā€ you say.
ā€œYouā€™re gonna have to let me move for that,ā€ he says in return.
ā€œWorst offer Iā€™ve gotten all day, but fine,ā€ you agree and allow him to disentangle from you.Ā 
Once he offers you some clothes, you also get up from the bed to get dressed. Try not to ogle Jeonghan too much as he does the same. He catches you, because of course he does, but surprisingly doesnā€™t say anything. Only smiles back at you. You help him remake the bed before the two of you go back out into the living area. It occurs to you that you didnā€™t exactly let your roommate know what you were up to before just heading straight over to see Jeonghan.
A fact that is immediately obvious when you see the texts and missed calls on your phone. Oop.
ā€œHey,ā€ you call out to Jeonghan. ā€œMy roommate, Iā€™m sure you remember himā€¦ā€
ā€œYeah, Seungkwan, right?ā€ he asks.
ā€œYeah, heā€™s freaking out because I forgot to say I was coming over here,ā€ you say. ā€œIā€™m just gonna call him really quick to let him know Iā€™m fine and Iā€™ll see him tomorrow.ā€
ā€œDo you want privacy?ā€ he asks and you just laugh lightly.
ā€œNot sure I need it,ā€ you say and the phone is already ringing. Seungkwan answers nearly immediately.
ā€œWhat the fuck? Are you okay?ā€ he asks instead of saying hello.
ā€œChill, Kwan, Iā€™m fine,ā€ you answer.Ā 
ā€œWhere are you? Your class ended hours ago,ā€ he says.
ā€œHas it been hours?ā€ you ask with some amount of surprise.Ā 
ā€œWait, where are you?ā€ he asks again, sounding calm but skeptical now.Ā 
ā€œI justā€¦just donā€™t worry about me for the night, okay? Iā€™ll be home tomorrow,ā€ you say.Ā 
ā€œSwitch to video, you whore,ā€ Seungkwan says skeptically.
ā€œDonā€™t be a weirdo,ā€ you retort.
ā€œCome on! Turn on your camera!ā€ he yells and you pull the phone away from your ear.
ā€œFucking fine,ā€ you grumble and press the button on your phone before holding it back up to your face.
ā€œI KNEW IT!ā€ he shrieks gleefully. ā€œWhoā€™s shirt is that?ā€
ā€œOh, well, itā€™sā€¦ā€ you stall and look over at Jeonghan. Heā€™s already moving toward you.
ā€œWell?ā€ Seungkwan prompts as Jeonghan leans over behind you so his face shows in the camera.
ā€œItā€™s mine,ā€ Jeonghan answers and Seungkwan looks like Christmas came early.
ā€œWell, hello Jeonghan,ā€ he says.Ā 
ā€œI promise to take good care of her and send her back in one piece,ā€ Jeonghan says and Seungkwan canā€™t contain his grin.
ā€œKeep her as long as you like. Iā€™m about to be so rich,ā€ he says, far happier than he should be.
ā€œGoodbye Seungkwan. Iā€™ll see you tomorrow,ā€ you say and hang up before he can say anything.Ā 
Once you hang up, Jeonghan gives you an odd look. Like heā€™s trying to figure out what Seungkwan just said.
ā€œDo Iā€¦want to ask?ā€ he finally asks.
You sigh. ā€œSeungkwan started placing and taking bets about me sleeping with you as soon as I mentioned you.ā€Ā 
ā€œAnd when was that?ā€ he asks, seemingly not even surprised by the bets. You internally curse.
ā€œAfter the very first class when you mentioned you joined because you like Legos,ā€ you admit.Ā 
ā€œWe could have saved so much time,ā€ he whines and you just shake your head.
ā€œThis is exactly how it was supposed to go,ā€ you disagree.
ā€œMaybe,ā€ he concedes. ā€œShould we get some sleep? We can figure everything else out in the light of day.ā€
ā€œSounds perfect,ā€ you agree and follow him to bed.Ā 
Itā€™s far easier than it should be to settle into bed with him. Like youā€™ve done it a million times before. Maybe itā€™s okay to allow yourself to have the things you want. Maybe this can all be as easy as attaching one block to another until you have something amazing.Ā 
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i hope you liked it! and like i said, i'll be back to fix any spelling/grammar errors after the weekend.
taglist: @newjihoonie, @tinyelfperson, @dokyeomkyeom, @miriamxsworld, @hongrizon, @klecksstorys, @sunflowergyeomie, @gyuminusone, @aaniag, @straykidswhoo789, @kimseokgen, @beomesbabe, @haolistic, @vanishingboots, @babybae-shisui, @harry-the-pottypus, @okiedokrie-main, @nuttywastelandmentality, @writingbarnes, @gyuhao365, @jjin-kun, @divinityyy, @dibidibidismynameisleeknow, @jelly-n , @christinewithluv, @hipsdofangirl, @sana-is-ms-rmty, @lllucere, @vixensss, @soffiyuhh @aidanjoon, @hanniebub, @stormy1408, @lilifiedeans, @hyucksrealm, @joshuaslv, @tinkerbell460 (strikethrough means can't tag)
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ayyy-pee Ā· 5 months ago
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Discord 18+Ā -Ā Twitter - Part Two of Outlaw Series
Pairing: Outlaw!Suguru Geto x Female Reader Genre: Western AU WC: 8.7k Summary:
ā€œGettinā€™ train tickets ainā€™t easy. Where ya headed?ā€ ā€œJust a few towns over. Goinā€™ to visit family,ā€ you explain, now more relaxed with him. Something about the way he was able to soothe your nerves makes Suguru feel proud. It also is making him clearly insane, because some sick part of Suguru begins to think he could be your family. If youā€™ll let him. ā€œWhat about you?ā€ His brows shoot up in surprise. Why would you want to know about him? ā€œMe?ā€ You nod quickly. ā€œI know youā€™reā€¦ā€ You lean forward and Suguru mirrors the action as shivers race up his spine when you whisper scandalously, ā€œ...an outlaw.ā€
Story Warning: Train robbery, hostage situation, lying and scheming, profanity bc bitch it's me??, dub-con, Suguru has a corruption kink, needy downbad Suguru, "virgin" reader, guns, smut, blowjob, riding, fingering, spit, thinking about spitting, i love spit, dirty fantasies, titty sucking probably, using ropes, hair pulling (lmfaooooo), threats of violence, dirty talk, inexperienced reader, spit!, overstimulation, humiliation kink, Suguru is kinda pathetic, actually real pathetic, don't get your hopes up idk
Artist Credit: @/tsumusbeloved (on twitter)
A/N: FINALLYYYYY. This has been sitting in my drafts for like 3 months!!! I hope yall enjoy!!!
Tags: @syubseokie @yasu-1234 @cassayeee @glmpsfs @struxkbylightning @aotdump @oidloid @sunnysdiarythoughts @stillseren @lovebittenbyevans @avaatara @elliesndg @luv-kae @megtheebimbo @buttercupblu143 @toffeebrat @kaqua@moggleatlife @candy-s72 @sukunadckrider @xixflower @apchmon
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Itā€™s the shrill screech of the metal meeting metal on the train tracks that Suguru enjoys most about his work. How this massive tank of metal carrying so many people can just fly across the country, providing beautiful views of miles and miles of desert sands and mountains. The wildlife roams free on the frontier without a care in the world. And the train just keeps going, filling the sky with thick curls of black smoke.
Yeah, this train has many people on it.
Which means, this train has plenty of goods that will soon be his.
ā€œAh, you dropped your hat, boss.ā€ A smooth voice speaks behind Suguru, holding open the train door as one other clambers in. Suguru kindly grabs his hat from the man, placing it atop his head as he watches his partner take the last personā€™s hand, lifting them inside.
Itā€™s a woman, small and with strawberry blonde hair. She grabs onto the man before her. The disgust is clear on her face as her eyes roam along his body.
ā€œCouldnā€™t pick another day to wear no shirt, Larue?ā€ She complains, spreading a small cloud of dust as she brushes her clothes off.
Larue shrugs, chuckling lightly while he closes the train door. The rushing roar of the winds finally subsides. ā€œItā€™s hot as all hell outside, Manami. Why not be shirtless? Besides, it gives everyone something spectacular to gawk at.ā€ He motions towards his chest where his new set of ink lies ā€“ two hearts, one where each of his nipples are.
ā€œA drunken bet gone right, if you ask me,ā€ Larue had said the night after. ā€œTheyā€™re gonna love these at the whorehouse.ā€
ā€œIf you twoā€™re finishedā€¦ā€ Suguru begins. Both Larue and Manami straighten up. ā€œI wanna get in ā€˜n outta here. No funny business. Larue, take the back of the train. Better for you to be there in case the conductor gets any ideas. Grab what ā€˜ya can get your hands on ā€“ jewels, shoes, money. Donā€™t matter.ā€ Suguru taps his chin in thought, running through his mental list to make sure he hasnā€™t forgotten anything. ā€œOh! And donā€™t forget to check the bars for any spoons or forks. Yā€™know what that silverā€™s worth. Me ā€˜n Manami will take the front of the train.ā€
Larue nods, no further instruction needed and Manami smiles next to him excitedly. She quickly shuffles over to Suguruā€™s side, looping her arm through his and Suguru rolls his eyes before slipping his arm out of her hold. Manami shoots him a pouty look before she quickly recovers, folding her arms over her chest.
ā€œAlright, Boss. Iā€™m ready.ā€ She says with a hushed tone. Larue gives one more nod before he turns around and heads the opposite way. He slides the door slightly ajar, peering inside and just after he enters and the door has been shut and locked, Suguru and Manami hear the muffled shrieks of the passengers in the car.
ā€œHands in the fucking air! This is a stick up!ā€
Suguru peers down at Manami who is already staring up at him with eager eyes. And it takes everything in Suguru to not roll his eyes in response. She really gets on his last nerve.
ā€˜I gotta get rid of her after this one,ā€™ he thinks as he moves past the woman and into the opposite end of the train.
He slips through the door, closing it quietly behind Manami once sheā€™s in. No one bothers to look up when they come in and Suguru counts his lucky stars that this will be easier than he anticipated. They make their way along the aisle, offering soft smiles to the passengers that happen to look up as they pass. Suguru thinks thereā€™s nothing but a bunch of carefree monkeys too relaxed and stupid as all hell on this train. They donā€™t even know whatā€™s coming and if they know whatā€™s good for them, they wonā€™t bother to fight back when they find out.
He lets Manami do the work of maintaining a mental checklist of every item worth its salt in this train car. This is where heā€™ll leave Manami to do her part. Then Suguru will take the final car where the stragglers usually reside. Larue is already taking care of everything in the back. When heā€™s done, heā€™ll pile up all the goods in an empty car and then make his rounds to grab what Manami and Suguru collect.
When they reach the end of the current car, Suguru turns to Manami who is already reaching into her blouse. She beams, eyes locked on Suguru as she slowly pulls out a pretty little Coltā€™s revolver. Her lips pull up at the corners, a sly grin on her face. If itā€™s meant to be alluring to Suguru, itā€™s not working. In fact itā€™s having the opposite effect. Itā€™s so annoying, the way her pupils dilate when she looks at him. Itā€™s only been a few months since Manami joined their group, but itā€™s only getting worse for Suguru. She spends half her time trying to seduce him and failing. And itā€™s not that Manami is unattractive. Sheā€™s a very beautiful woman, but sheā€™s not exactly Suguruā€™s type.
Heā€™s looking for someone a bit moreā€¦inexperienced when it comes to this life of crime. Someone he can mold into his ideal woman, untouched by the roughness that west has to offer. Manami has been doing this for far too long, and already has habits that consistently get under Suguruā€™s skin. Sheā€™d never interest him that way.
The pink haired woman flashes Suguru her gun, pointing her chin towards the last car as a signal for him to go on. Suguru nods, spinning on his heel and heading towards his destination. And just in time too, because he hears the door on the other end of the train car close and he knows Larue has finished and has come to assist Manami.
The train car slides shut behind Suguru right as he hears the passengers scream in the car behind him. Itā€™s louder than the first instance and catches the attention of the passengers in his car who now stare at him with wide eyes, mouths agape like a sea of fish.
Suguru rubs the nape of his neck, frowning. Then, offering a goofy grin, he mutters, ā€œAh wellā€¦ā€ He reaches behind him, wrapping his nimble fingers around the cool, wooden handle tucked into his waistband. He whips out his revolver, the sun glaring off of the fancy gold weapon as Suguru aims it at the passengers who all shriek in terror. The women clutch their jewels. The men hold onto their women. And Suguru? He laughs raucously before he barks out, ā€œPut ā€˜em up!ā€
- - - - - -
Itā€™s a little surprising how easily the heist goes, but Suguru tries not to give it too much thought. You start thinking somethingā€™s gonna go wrong and it damn sure will. While Manami is guiding passengers into the back cars, Larue has the conductor held hostage, locked away with threats of a bullet to his skull unless he continues driving. Heā€™d only shown his face and quickly hid away in his cabin when Suguru told him to use his fucking brain unless he wanted it splattered across the window.
Now, Suguru finds himself roaming the cabin to see if there are any stragglers. And there is one. A very beautiful woman, at that. There you sit, in the last seat of the train car. He slowly makes his way over to you. Suguru thinks you must be some type of saloon girl. Your pretty little dress and waist neatly cinched in a leather corset is the giveaway. He glances over his shoulder, just to be sure this cabin is empty, only to find that it truly is only himself and you left. He hates having to wrangle the stragglers. Thatā€™s Manami and Larueā€™s job. And Suguru hates it even more when theyā€™re not doing it.
He tightens the grip on his gun, turning to give you an earful until his eyes meet yours. Theyā€™re so wide and glistening, like youā€™re on the verge of tears. Your lips are quivering, your bottom lip protruding in a pout. It reminds him of the look Manami gave him just before the heist started. Except when coming from you, for some reason, itā€™s bringing out a different reaction.Ā 
His heart rate quickens, and Suguruā€™s hands suddenly feel clammy and not from the heat in this train car. He can feel sweat beginning to bead on his forehead and he has to swallow to quell the dryness thatā€™s forming in his throat. Then heā€™s tucking his weapon away into his holster and moving towards you.
ā€œI beg your pardon, maā€™am,ā€ Suguru speaks calmly as he takes the seat in front of you. You peer up at him, with apparent fear in your eyes and he wants nothing more than to see that look disappear. Usually, heā€™d use force to get you out and rounded up with the rest of the passengers. Heā€™s not sure why, but thereā€™s something about you that makes Suguru want to take care of you. ā€œWhy didnā€™t you leave with the rest of the crowd?ā€ He questions.
Youā€™re fidgeting with the fabric of your dress in your lap, visibly shaken even as Suguru removes his hat and sets it on the seat in front of you before he sits down.
ā€œIā€“ā€ you clear your throat and bite down on your lip, seemingly to calm your nerves.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m not gonna hurt ya, maā€™am,ā€ he tells you softly, reassuring you. ā€œJust wonderinā€™.ā€ Suguru takes this time to drink in your features ā€“ how soft you look, the way your body so beautifully fills that dress of yours, how youā€™ve got a face that will be burned into his memory long after this encounter.
And for some reason, it also feels as if it was burned into his memory long before this encounter. Thereā€™s a familiarity about you that Suguru canā€™t quite place. Heā€™s certain heā€™s seen your face somewhere. He had been through many saloons and brothels in his time traveling the frontier. Perhaps he had run into you in one of the many establishments he frequented?Ā 
No. No, Suguru would remember if he saw a woman who looked like you in any of those places. You would have easily stood out in the crowd. He would have called you up to his room on any of those nights.Ā 
You bite down on your lip as you stare at Suguru. As afraid as you look, you donā€™t break eye contact. To see you so stricken with fear, and yet you steadily look him in the eye without blinking. You show courage even when faced with danger, and it does something to him.Ā 
The look on your face has him picturing all sorts of things about you and he doesnā€™t even know your name.
ā€œI was afraid,ā€ you mutter quietly.Ā 
Thankfully so, because Suguru was just about to begin imagining a life outside of crime with you. Which is shocking in and of itself. Three minutes of simply staring at you had him visualizing a future on the prairie hanging laundry on the line while you fed the cattle.
ā€˜Keep it together.ā€™
ā€œDonā€™t be scared. Iā€™m not gonna hurt nobody,ā€ Suguru reassures you again. He tries to calm your nerves with a smile which seems to work because he sees you visibly exhale. You return his gesture with a small smile of your own, and his imagination runs wild once more.
ā€œPromise?ā€ You ask, Suguruā€™s smile widens.Ā 
ā€˜Cute,ā€™ he thinks. He wants to see more of those. ā€œI promise, sweetheart.ā€
He can hear the way you huff, something between a laugh and a sigh of relief. And Suguru finds himself becoming more and more infatuated with you as he keeps the conversation going.
ā€œGettinā€™ train tickets ainā€™t easy. Where ya headed?ā€
ā€œJust a few towns over. Goinā€™ to visit family,ā€ you explain, now more relaxed with him. Something about the way he was able to soothe your nerves makes Suguru feel proud.
It also is making him clearly insane, because some sick part of Suguru begins to think he could be your family. If youā€™ll let him.
ā€œWhat about you?ā€
His brows shoot up in surprise. Why would you want to know about him? ā€œMe?ā€
You nod quickly. ā€œI know youā€™reā€¦ā€ You lean forward and Suguru mirrors the action as shivers race up his spine when you whisper scandalously, ā€œ...an outlaw.ā€
He leans back, rubbing his chin thoughtfully while he purses his lips together. His gaze is locked onto you because he wonders if youā€™re up to something. If youā€™re not as sweet and innocent as you look. But when you lean back and flutter your lashes at him, he begins to doubt it. That sweet face of yours is a rare one to see on this side of the wild west; beautiful and unscarred. You donā€™t look like youā€™ve been exposed to anything more dangerous than a thunderstorm. And itā€™s arousing. The air of innocence that you carry has Suguru shifting in his seat, his pants suddenly feeling tighter.
This is exactly what heā€™s been wanting. Someone opposite of Manami, someone who is interested in his life, but not involved with crime in the least. As far as he can tell, youā€™re clean as a whistle. And Suguru likes to think heā€™s good at reading people.
ā€œNever seen a outlaw before?ā€ He drawls. You shake your head, back to messing around nervously with your dress.
ā€œNever,ā€ you answer softly, batting those pretty, long lashes at him. ā€œOnly seen ā€˜em on signs. Wantedā€¦dead, or alive.ā€
Oh, you really are sheltered.
ā€œWell, now youā€™ve seen one in person.ā€ Suguru combs his fingers through his dark tresses, grinning like his criminal status is one to be proud of. To him, he supposes it is. ā€œWhat dā€™ya think?ā€
You do that lip biting thing that Suguru is beginning to realize he finds cute. Maybe itā€™s a nervous tick, but this time it seems itā€™s to be you holding back a smile. Everything you do is cute to him. Everything you do is sweet, innocent, arousing.
ā€œIā€¦ā€ You lean forward in your seat again, and whether you realize it or not, it gives Suguru a perfect view of the swell of your breasts. Itā€™s a struggle to keep his focus on your face when your skin looks so smooth, and unmarred, perfect. Those plush lips of yours whisper, ā€œ...I think itā€™s exciting.ā€
He can only think one thought in this moment.
He wants to ruin you.
ā€œYeah?ā€
ā€œYeah.ā€
ā€œWhatā€™s excitinā€™ about it?ā€ He asks, though he has an idea what it is. The travel, not being tied down to anyone or anything, the freedom this life provides. Itā€™s what they all say when they try to make small talk. ā€œPretty girl like you canā€™t possibly know nothinā€™ about this life.ā€
You inhale deeply, leaning back in your seat and Suguru watches closely, the way your chest rises and falls with the breath. ā€œWell, I never seen a outlaw in person. Surely never spoke to one. Andā€¦ā€ You purse your lips together, like youā€™re contemplating if you should say the next thing. But you do anyway. ā€œI just never thought a outlaw could be so pretty.ā€
His eyes widen, the corners of his lips rising with a goofy grin. ā€œPretty?ā€ He chuckles, combing his fingers through his hair again. ā€œYou really think so?ā€
Heā€™s been called a lot of things, but pretty is not one of them.
ā€œYep. Look at ya.ā€ You stand, moving quickly to cross the small gap between you both and take a seat next to him. You reach for his arm, then hesitate, pulling back for a second. You peer up at Suguru, silently asking permission and he nods. Your fingers ghost along his forearm, over his bicep, along his neck where his Adam's apple bobs with a gulp, and then your hand is cupping his cheek. Your trail leaves behind a trail of goosebumps.
And Suguruā€™s pants grow tighter.
Suguru has had his fair share of women and men alike during his time as a felon. But youā€™re particularly tempting. Heā€™s not sure heā€™s ever wanted someone as badly as he wants you right now and itā€™s been all of ten minutes in this train car together. But any minute now, his crew is going to come through those doors and tell him theyā€™re ready to go. And then Suguru will have to leave and the chances of him seeing you ever again are slim to none.Ā 
But on the bright side, the chances of him seeing you again are slim to none. Itā€™s a little sudden, but you seem like you want him with the way youā€™re feeling him up right about now. Maybe you'd let him bury his cock as deep as he can go, fuck you until youā€™re screaming his name, begging and crying on his cock. Then heā€™ll fill you with his seed, maybe leave a baby in you to remember him by if youā€™re lucky and then heā€™ll grab his spoils with Larue and the rest and go. Then he'll never see you again.Ā 
This desert is far and wide. Heā€™d have you today, then never have to face you again for the rest of his life. A woman like you? You'll be just fine. A pretty face and an even prettier smile. Though he thinks you're a bit naive. Have to be to be sitting here chatting with him like heā€™s some gentleman you met on a leisurely trip to see your relatives. Regardless, there will be some poor fool out there that'll be happy to have you after he's had his way with you.
ā€˜Werenā€™t you just daydreaming about settling down with this woman?ā€™
ā€œPretty eyes,ā€ you hum, pulling Suguru from his filthy fantasies. ā€œNice skin, pretty lips. Justā€¦very pretty.ā€ Your thumb caresses his skin and his eyes can't help but notice the way your gaze is locked to his lips. He pokes his tongue out, watching your eyes widen just slightly at the motion, as he runs the wet muscle along his lips. And heā€™s right back in his head, thinking of all the ways he could have you.
Thereā€™s no mistaking the thick tension filling the room at this moment. Like a lightning bolt hitting the same spot repeatedly. Each stroke of your fingers along his cheek only intensifies the mood. Suguruā€™s lips curl into a teasing smirk, and yours into one that matches. ā€œWhy do I feel like you're trouble?ā€ He says.
Your smile widens, and like a magnet, Suguru finds himself slowly being drawn closer and closer to you. Even as a soft laugh falls from your lips, his mind is wiped clean of all thoughts that don't consist of you.
ā€œMe? Thatā€™s funny cominā€™ from a outlaw like yourself,ā€ you mutter just as you close the distance between you, pressing your lips teasingly to Suguru's. They barely touch, truly a ghost of a touch but Suguru still has to swallow down the moan that damn near bursts from his chest the second your mouth was close enough to his.
You pull away suddenly, covering your lips as you lean away, your eyes wide with worry. ā€œā€˜m sorry.ā€
ā€œWhat are you apologizinā€™ for?ā€ Suguru asks, scooting closer.
ā€œI donā€™t know whatā€™s gotten into meā€¦I justā€¦ā€ Youā€™re back to fidgeting with your dress again, and Suguru places a large hand over yours to stop the movement. ā€œYouā€™re a criminal, and Iā€™m just me. I shouldnā€™t even be talkinā€™ to you.ā€ You stare up at him with wide eyes, and fuck he wants you.
You look so sweet, so pure looking at him like that. And he feels a little like a piece of shit because while youā€™re looking at him with probably innocent thoughts floating around in your head, heā€™s thinking about how heā€™d love nothing more than to cover your face in his seed.
ā€œIā€™m not a bad guy,ā€ Suguru lies easily. ā€œHave I done bad things?ā€ He shrugs, because heā€™s done way too many terrible things to count. Better not to give a real answer to that one. ā€œBut Iā€™m enjoyinā€™ our conversation. The kiss was just a perk. Wouldnā€™t mind it if it happened again. Iā€™d gladly accept it.ā€
ā€œButā€¦I donā€™t even know youā€¦ā€
ā€˜All the better,ā€™ is what he wants to say, but instead, he tells you, ā€œAnd thatā€™s fine. Listenā€“ā€ he squeezes your hand gently. ā€œBest part of beinā€™ a criminal is that I just do what I want. Donā€™t gotta ask permission for nothinā€™.ā€
Your eyes swim with curiosity. ā€œItā€™s that easy?ā€
ā€œYep. Do what makes ya feel good, sweetheart.ā€
You still donā€™t look convinced, and if this next question doesnā€™t work, Suguru will have no choice but to tie you up and dump you in the other train car with the rest of the hostages. He doesnā€™t have much time to waste trying to get you just to kiss him.
ā€œLemme ask yaā€¦did you like kissinā€™ me?ā€
He knows he should be worrying about the heist, not some pretty face distracting him from the job. But when you speak again, he tells himself the job can go to hell.
ā€œYesā€¦butā€¦I got scared. Iā€“ Iā€™ve only done some things with a manā€¦ā€ you admit quietly. ā€œAnd Iā€™m not too good at it.ā€
Fuck. He has to have you.
ā€œThatā€™s not a problem, sweetheart,ā€ he reassures you, and you beam.
Your hand grasps onto Suguruā€™s, squeezing tightly. ā€œReally?ā€
He nods. ā€œI donā€™t got much time before I gotta leave, but I can show ya some things real quick.ā€
ā€œYouā€™ll show me? How to do things?ā€ Your voice is eager, so ready. Suguru is finding it hard to contain how much youā€™re turning him on right now. ā€œLike kissinā€™ andā€¦yā€™know other stuff?ā€
ā€œWhat kinda stuff?ā€ He asks, because he wants you to say it. Wants to know how far youā€™re willing to go if youā€™ve never done a damn thing before. You pinch your lips together, turning your head away shyly. But Suguru gently cups your chin, turning you to look at him again.
ā€œWhat kinda stuff?ā€ He repeats. ā€œTell me.ā€
ā€œStuffā€¦that makes a manā€¦yā€™knowā€¦ā€
He grins, tauntingly. ā€œEnlighten me,ā€ he whispers.
ā€œStuff to make a manā€¦ā€ you worry your lip between your teeth. ā€œ...feel good.ā€
Oh hell.Ā 
What type of good deeds has Suguru done to find himself here? With someone as virtuous as you, who is asking him of all people to show you how to please him? He has half a mind to tell you no. Heā€™s got shit to do and his partners are bound to come looking for him any minute. But his cock is screaming within the confines of his pants to get into those undergarments of yours. And thereā€™s no argument to be had here.Ā 
Heā€™s listening to his dick.
Suguru crashes his lips to yours, swallowing up the yelp that escapes you from the sudden kiss. ā€œIā€™ll teach ya whatever ya want, pretty girl.ā€ He groans into your mouth.Ā 
He kisses you hard, but slowly, giving you time to catch up. Youā€™re a little slow to pick up, but you get there. Your lips slot against his, fingers slipping into his hair and holding on tight, making Suguru groan into the kiss once more.
ā€œWe donā€™t got a lotta time,ā€ he breathes against you.
You nod, pulling away to look up at him. ā€œWhat dā€™ya want?ā€
You.
He needs you ā€“ bent over the passenger seat and holding onto the bar sitting atop it while he fucks you from behind. He needs you sitting on his face, needs your hand around his length. But heā€™s looking at your face again, so desperate for instruction. Looks at your lips, swollen from the little bit of kissing youā€™ve been doing. And he knows exactly what he needs in this moment.
ā€œEver had a cock in your mouth?ā€ He shifts, sitting back against the seat.
You shake your head.
ā€œEver touched one?ā€
Another shake of your head.
ā€œWhat have you done?ā€
You hum, thinking only for a short time before you answer. ā€œKissed.ā€
What fucking luck.
Doesnā€™t matter what they score off the train today. This is the biggest reward of all.
ā€œGood,ā€ Suguru says, tugging your hand until you stand. With a grin, he guides you to the floor until youā€™re sitting up on your knees. ā€œThere wonā€™t be another man whoā€™s had ya then. Iā€™ll show ya how to please me, make me feel good.ā€Ā 
You nod, and Suguru canā€™t believe how easy this was as he fumbles with his belt, quickly undoing the buckle. He yanks his pants down, along with his underwear. Only to his knees. He wants to be able to get up quickly if needed. Suguruā€™s dick sits against his stomach, fat and long, with a harsh red tip that leaks with precum. He peers down at you, your eyes honed in on his length.
ā€œTouch it,ā€ he whispers encouragingly.
Your eyes meet as you move, your hands wrapping around Suguru tenderly, pulling a hiss from him. You hold his length like itā€™s a foreign object, and he supposes it is to you since itā€™s the first time youā€™ve done. Suguru grits his teeth, bringing a hand up to your fist. Youā€™re simply touching him and his dick is throbbing in your grip.
ā€œMove your handā€¦up ā€˜n down,ā€ he tells you. ā€œLike this.ā€ He guides you, helping to move your hand in slow and light pumps until youā€™ve found a rhythm that works. His head falls back as the pleasure takes over. ā€œAhhhā€“shit, just like that, pretty girl.ā€
ā€œItā€™s so bigā€¦ā€ you sigh, licking your lips as you stroke his cock slowly.
From here, Suguru is certain he has a perfect view of you. Eyes wide and curious while you observe every ridge and vein running along his length. It turns him on beyond measure, his hips jerking upward in your grasp.Ā 
ā€œDamn,ā€ he moans, fucking himself into your hands. For someone with no experience, you hold his dick just right. He never knew a womanā€™s touch could feel this good, but youā€™re a natural talent. You stroke him so good, his mouth falls slack as he lets himself enjoy the feeling of your hands around him. But you surprise him, just as youā€™ve been doing all this time, his eyes snapping open just in time to watch you lick from the base of his length all the way to the tip, teasing the slit with your tongue and lapping up the bead of precum that sits there.
ā€œItā€™s salty,ā€ you giggle before you kiss down his shaft, bringing your attention to his balls, kissing and licking the two orbs teasingly. Suguru inhales sharply, eyes rolling to the back of his head as the sensation makes his head swim with pleasure. Especially when your hand wraps around Suguruā€™s length again, pumping him up and down, slowly as you continue to lap at his balls.
ā€œYouā€™re already so good at this,ā€ Suguru pants heavily.
ā€œI am?ā€Ā 
He can hear the excitement in your voice, so eager to please him. It turns him on knowing that youā€™re trying so hard to make him feel good. He wonders if you can feel his cock throb in your hands.
ā€œSo fucking good,ā€ he praises you, loving the way you hum against him.
ā€œCan I put it in my mouth?ā€ You ask sweetly, squeezing your hands around his cock.
ā€œGod, please.ā€
When you take Suguru into the warmth of your mouth, you hum around him, and the vibrations make him shiver, back arching off of the seat. His palm finds the back of your head, his hips rolling up so he can shove his cock as far as possible without hurting you. Heā€™s gentle at first. Youā€™ve never done this before, after all. He wants to give you the time you need to adjust, though he canā€™t afford to give you too much. Which seems to be just fine, because just like before, you catch on quickly. You take his cock damn near to the base, and you take it so well, relaxing your throat for him so itā€™s easy.Ā 
ā€œCould fuck this pretty little mouth all day,ā€ Suguru grunts, pumping into you. ā€œSo goddamn good.ā€ The sound of his balls slapping against your chin as he fucks your face has his legs trembling, pleasure shooting straight up his spine. He wants to grab your head and push you down further, make you swallow all of him until he blows his load down your throat, then make you swallow that, too. But he doesnā€™t want to cum just yet.
He craves more from you. He needs more from you.
You hum again, sending another vibration through him as your fingers come up, caressing his balls. And Suguru squeezes his eyes shut, trying so hard not to cum. ā€œAhā€“ shit, shit!ā€ He pushes at your shoulders, forcing you off of him with a loud and wet pop. You look rather pleased with yourself, smiling when you see his red cheeks and the way he rapidly tries to catch his breath.
Like he noted before. Youā€™re trouble.
ā€œFuck, youā€™re fuckinā€™ perfect,ā€ he gasps, staring at your chin dripping with saliva and his juices. Suguru watches through hooded eyes as you swipe it away. He could watch you on your knees all day, taking his cock down your throat time and time again. But unfortunately, time is not on his side today. He needs to hurry it up.
ā€œCā€™mere, pretty,ā€ he calls for you, taking your hand. You stand, waiting for your next instruction as Suguru leans forward in his seat. His hands find your waist, pulling you close enough that he can press a kiss to your stomach before he leans back again. ā€œPull up your skirt for me.ā€
ā€œOkayā€¦ā€ you agree, shakily. You reach for the hem of your skirt, pulling the layers of fabric as high as itā€™ll go. Suguru always hated these damn dresses. Itā€™s like digging for gold trying to get through every damn piece of clothing. But eventually, you get to the end, revealing your bare thighs to him. Soft, plush, beautiful. But what heā€™s truly interested in remains concealed by your underwear.
Suguru swallows hard before he drags his finger along your clothed pussy, grinning when your thighs tremble just barely. His gaze glides back up your form until they rest on your face, watching as your mouth falls open with a silent moan.Ā 
Hard to believe youā€™ve never been touched here. Also, so very arousing to think youā€™ve never been touched here. He thanks his lucky stars that youā€™re allowing him to be the first.
He slips his finger into the fabric, his slender fingers quickly finding your slit and sliding along your folds. He sucks in a sharp breath when he feels how soaked you are. He briefly brushes a finger against your entrance, pausing when he feels you tense up.
ā€œMight hurt a little,ā€ he warns as softly as he can manage right now. But you whisper, ā€œgo aheadā€, hands coming to rest on his shoulders as he dips his finger into your pussy, biting back a moan when he feels your soft walls clench down on his hand. Itā€™s tight, as expected but he moves slowly, pulling back every so often to work his way further.
You whimper above him, squeezing his shoulders as your breaths come rapidly while Suguru pumps his finger in and out of your hole. Your bottom lip sits between your teeth, and your brows are knitted together.
Youā€™re enjoying this.Ā 
And heā€™s enjoying watching you.
Suguru presses his thumb to your clit, slowly circling the sensitive nub. Dark eyes lock with yours as his other hand finds the top of your dress where he hooks his fingers into the cups and pulls it down. Your breasts spill out of the fabric and your breath hitches when the air caresses your nipples. Suguru kneads the soft flesh, his thumb swiping across one of the hardened buds.Ā 
ā€œAhhh, yes,ā€ you moan, your voice barely above a whisper. Your head falls back with a loud gasp as Suguru slips another finger into you.Ā 
ā€œBeinā€™ real good for me,ā€ he coos. His dick grows painfully harder as he slowly thrusts his fingers inside of you, while his thumb stimulates your clit. Heā€™s panting trying to hold himself together while he preps you for what he wants next. Your hips move on their own, riding Suguruā€™s hand, chasing your high.Ā 
ā€œFeel good?ā€ He grunts, fingers slipping into you over and over, curling inside, and hitting your sweet spot and you canā€™t help but to gasp quietly each time Suguru touches it.Ā 
ā€œY-yes, feels incredible,ā€ you whine.
Suguruā€™s eyes are locked on your center where he watches his fingers disappear into your cunt over and over, your slick coating his hand more with each thrust. It only adds to Suguruā€™s struggle to keep it together as he ignores the pulsing need of his cock. Your pleasured moans and the squelching sound of your dripping pussy fill the space of the train car.
ā€œIā€™mā€“ā€ you breathe harshly against him and he feels your walls squeeze down on his digits. Youā€™re close already.
ā€œGonna cum, sweetheart?ā€ Suguruā€™s fingers dip into you faster. His eyes linger on your face as his thumb rubs tight circles on the sensitive bud between your legs. Your eyes flutter closed, mouth hanging open as a delicious moan rushes past your lips, your grip on Suguruā€™s shoulders tightening so much it stings. But he loves it, loves feeling your pussy squeezing down on his fingers, sucking them deeper as your release crashes over you until he can feel your cum dripping down his fingers and into his palm as he keeps pumping into you.
Suguru sighs as he stares at his fingers, slowly pulling them from you. He licks his lips, admiring his slick covered hand.
Heā€™s never taken the time to just enjoy the moment with anyone. Never cared much to please a woman. Itā€™s easier for him to just get himself off and high tail it out of there. No attachment to these ladies, no reason to stick around. But what is it about you that makes him want to see all the ways your body is capable of falling apart? Because itā€™s a beautiful sight to behold.Ā 
ā€œOutlawā€¦ā€ you murmur, slipping your undergarments down your legs until youā€™re able to kick them off. You push Suguru back by the shoulders, lifting your skirt so that you can easily maneuver into his lap. His hands find your hips beneath your dress as you straddle him, and his thumbs caress the soft skin gently.
ā€œYeah, beautiful?ā€
So beautiful. He canā€™t stop staring at you and your eyes, glazed over with desire. You lean forward, the heat from between your legs making Suguruā€™s length twitch. It lightly taps your core and you gasp. Your hands clutch onto the bar that runs along the top of the train seat, one on each side of his head. Suguruā€™s palms glide around to your backside, squeezing the flesh of your ass. You brush your nose against his, soft breaths mingling with his as you whisper, ā€œmake love to me, outlawā€¦ā€ just before your lips touch.
And Suguruā€™s groaning into your mouth, because this kiss is different. Itā€™s hungry, hot, full of want and need. Itā€™s sloppy and rushed, because youā€™re both aware of the time crunch youā€™re in. Itā€™s intoxicating, addicting, the way he never wants to stop kissing you. To hell with the heist.
ā€œReady for me, pretty girl?ā€ Suguru pants, a hand gripping his cock. He can feel the heat of your pussy radiating off of you and it makes him all the more eager to have you.
Your eyes are wide, filled with something Suguru thinks may be excitement. Heā€™s not sure he sees any hesitation or fear behind your eyes. You want him badly, itā€™s clear as day. He wants you just as badly, if not more. So he positions himself at your entrance, nudging your hole gently with his tip.Ā 
A small whimper slips past your lips, and Suguru kisses you sweetly. ā€œItā€™s only gonna hurt for a second,ā€ he coos. ā€œPromiseā€¦ā€
He kisses you again, muttering, ā€œIā€™m pushinā€™ inā€¦ā€ against your lips.
You close your eyes, teeth digging into your bottom lip as Suguru rolls his hips forward, slowly sinking his tip into your pussy, only stopping when you let out a harsh breath.
ā€œā€˜S a tight fit,ā€ he murmurs through gritted teeth. An understatement. Your pussy is gripping him with so much force, heā€™s struggling to breathe. Youā€™re holding him hostage within your walls and the feeling has him tightening his hold on your ass. ā€œYou alright?ā€
Because he wants to make sure it feels good for you, too. Your pleasure is his. Which is a whole new feeling for him in and of itself. Heā€™s aware of how the tables have turned. What started as him wanting to show you ways to please him, turned into him desperate to please you. But he likes it that way.
You nod, moaning quietly when Suguru keeps moving forward. ā€œOhhhā€¦ā€Ā 
ā€œGod, this pussy is so fuckinā€™ ā€“ā€ he canā€™t even finish his sentence. He needs to focus all his attention on not cumming already.
You take him all the way to the base, moaning loudly when you fully sink onto him. Your grip tightens around the bar, steadying yourself as Suguru lifts you by your ass before pulling you back down on him, so slowly. ā€œFuuuckā€“ā€ he groans. He thrusts into you at a leisurely pace, slow and controlled, giving you time to adjust to his size.Ā 
But his kissesā€¦theyā€™re rough. Such a contrast to the way heā€™s fucking you right now. The pleasure is overwhelming to Suguru, and when your tongue slips into his mouth, itā€™s him thatā€™s whimpering now, thrusting just a little faster, a little harder.
ā€œDamn, you take my cock so good, pretty girlā€“ā€ he growls into your mouth. ā€œLove the way you ride me.ā€ He smacks your ass hard, eyes falling to your breast, bouncing up and down with the rhythm of his thrusts. He takes one into his mouth, greedily lapping at your nipple, nipping and sucking and loving the way your cries get louder.
ā€œOh my god, fuck!ā€
ā€œRide my cock, pretty. You already do it so good. Wanna see you ride me.ā€ Suguru groans. He releases his hold on you, hands coming up to play with your breasts while you bounce wildly on his dick. He lifts your dress, relishing the view of his length, glistening with your slick, vanishes into your tight cunt over and over. ā€œShiiiittttā€¦ā€
You slip a hand into his tresses, pulling hard and forcing him away from your nipples. You pull so hard Suguru has to close his eyes because the sensation sends goosebumps igniting across his body. That, combined with the way you keep taking him to the tip before slamming down on his cock repeatedly. Fuck, youā€™re a quick learner.
Your pussy is what it feels like every single time he pulls off a heist successfully. Like fucking heaven. And he never wants to leave it.
His eyes flutter open, just enough to see your breasts bouncing with every rise and fall of your hips. Your velvety walls hug him tight, so fucking good, Suguru thinks he'd like to be able to have you all the time. Hell, he has half a mind to take you with him once theyā€™re off this damned train. Being able to have you like this any time he wants, watch your body come undone under him, on top of him, in any position youā€™ll let him have you. Heā€™d even give up this outlaw life if you wanted him to. Settle down, start a family if thatā€™s what you wanted. The thought of it makes Suguru more excited than heā€™ll ever admit.
Each time your pussy sucks him back in, begging for him to cum, he can suddenly picture a life outside of this. Each time those sexy little noises fall from your sweet lips, he can suddenly envision raising a family with you, building himself a life where he's able to hear those sounds any time he desires.Ā 
He lets his mind drift to these fantasies while he can, enjoying the feeling of you and the sounds you gift him with.Ā 
There's a fire pooling in his belly, growing hotter each time his balls meet your ass. He's gonna blow his load here any second. And he can't wait. He wants to cum inside your walls, wants to thrust himself so deep into you that there's no way you're not carrying his child when he's done. Least you'll have something to remember him by if you tell him you donā€™t want shit to do with him after this. A sweet woman like you with a wanted felon? Of course youā€™d prefer to get your rocks off while you can and move on. Which is fine.
Because Suguru is gonna remember you, anyway. Heā€™ll remember the way you squeeze around him, the way you moan the little nickname youā€™ve given him, the way your cunt feels fucking unlike any other womanā€™s. Youā€™ve got him mesmerized.Ā 
So much so, that he doesn't even notice the cool press of steel against the center of his forehead.Ā 
ā€œOhhh,ā€ you moan, whimpering, ā€œPleaseā€¦pleaseā€¦will you put a baby inside me, outlaw?ā€Ā 
Itā€™s like you read his mind, and Suguruā€™s eyes snap open, balls tightening as his release threatens to come at any moment. But then his eyes see the stiffness in your arm, see the glimmer of metal as the sunlight reflects off it through the windows, and he finally realizes you've got his gun to his head, and maybe thatā€™s actually why his balls are tightening. Youā€™ve got this wicked grin on your flushed face as you keep riding him. Hard, fast, walls squeezing him in a vice grip. And he can't do shit but let his eyes roll to the back of his head, let his pleasure race straight down his spine and into his balls as his release shoots from his cock before he has a chance to get ahold of himself.
But you donā€™t let him get a drop inside, lifting yourself smoothly off his lap just as fat, hot streams of cum land messily in his lap and on his stomach. Suguruā€™s gasping for air, still struggling to figure out what the fuck is going on. And you donā€™t give him a second to catch his breath, to let his mind catch up before youā€™re wrapping your hand around his cock again, squeezing and stroking his length until heā€™s so overstimulated his jaw is cramping up from how hard heā€™s gritting his teeth to keep from crying out.
ā€œWhat the fuck are you ahhhā€“ā€ you run your thumb over his leaking tip, your eyes alight with joy when his hips buck up automatically, legs trembling as you keep pumping him, though his balls are beyond empty.Ā 
You tsk, shaking your head as you press the barrel of the gun harder against his skin. ā€œWhereā€™s that sweet outlaw from before?ā€ You drawl.
Your voice has changed. No longer soft spoken, shy and sweet. The hardness of your tone tells Suguru all he needs to know. The memories come flooding back. And now he realizes why you looked so familiar when he first laid eyes on you.Ā 
Your face has been plastered on wanted posters in damn near every town he and his partners have stopped in. Murder, robbery, drunkenness, prison escape, cheating at cards. All the crimes that should have you in the town square hanging, youā€™re wanted for. Somehow, youā€™ve managed to never get caught.
How could he have let his guard down? How could he have fucked up this badly?
ā€˜Thinking with your dick. Thatā€™s how.ā€™
ā€œGuess it takes an outlaw to know one,ā€ He grits out, nostrils flared with fury. He can only hope his crew comes through those doors soon, though itā€™ll be fucking humiliating to be caught in this position.
A giggle spills from your lips and the sound makes Suguru sick to his stomach. You donā€™t even sound like the same person from before. ā€œYā€™all are pretty easy to spot. ā€˜Specially when all yā€™all think with your cocksā€“ā€ You echo his thoughts, emphasizing the word by squeezing Suguruā€™s slowly softening length in your hand. You frown, releasing your hold on him. ā€œHuh, thought youā€™d be able to gimme another one.ā€
He inhales deeply, shakily, narrowing his eyes at the woman ā€“ the stranger ā€“ that stands before him. ā€œEverything you said was a lie, then.ā€
Itā€™s not a question. He knows. Because youā€™re just like him. Maybe even worse.
Laughter bursts from deep within, like what he said was the funniest thing youā€™ve ever heard. ā€œIt really is easy to fool yā€™all men. Just gotta make our pussies feel reallllll tight and wet and yā€™all donā€™t question nothinā€™.ā€
You climb off of the seat, taking the gun off his head while you fix your undergarments, unbothered and careless. And Suguru decides to act fast, takes this moment to lunge for you. But he doesnā€™t make it far, because his head is yanked back roughly the moment he jumps forward. His scalp burns, and he reaches back, feeling a thick knot tied around the metal bar that sits atop the train seats. The same metal bar you were just holding onto moments ago.
ā€œYou fuckinā€™ tied my hair to the seat?!ā€ He growls.
And you chuckle, shifting your dress around until youā€™re decent again. The gun is pointed back at Suguruā€™s face, and he puts his hands back down, not daring to try and free himself when youā€™ve got a revolver ready to blow his brains out.
ā€œAnd your hands are next,ā€ you promise in a sing-song voice. You keep your word, spinning around briefly to reach between the wall and your original seat, where youā€™d apparently hidden a small rope. You make quick work of tying Suguruā€™s hands behind his back, leaning a little too close to him as you finish the knot.Ā 
He can feel your breaths against his neck, and right now, if heā€™s being honest with himself ā€“ which he may as well be since he could very well be dead soon ā€“ itā€™s confusing him. Because he feels like he fucking hates you, is repulsed by you, could spit in your face right now. Oh, he really fucking wants to. But something tells him youā€™d like that anyway. And the thought of your face, depraved and covered in his saliva is making his still exposed length hard again. Even when you tug harshly on the rope for good measure, chuckling low in Suguruā€™s ear when you hear him hiss in pain, his cock stiffens further.
And of course you notice, your eyes glancing down to his lap, where the sticky mess you left him with lies. ā€œSure you donā€™t wanna go again?ā€ You tease, laughing when Suguru scowls.Ā 
You like him upset, and probably a little pathetic, because you press your lips to his pout, kissing him hungrily. And apparently, Suguru is as pathetic as he looks, because ā€“ and itā€™s a surprise to him, too ā€“ he kisses you back! Your tongues tangle during this brief meeting of your lips, fighting for dominance, though itā€™s apparent whoā€™s the one in control here.Ā 
The filthy moans between you are interrupted when Suguru feels that damned gun under his chin now, applying enough pressure to push him back. Only a line of your mixed saliva connects you two as you stare down at him in amusement.
ā€œLike I saidā€¦ā€ you peer down quickly at Suguruā€™s lap before whispering. ā€œAaaalways thinkinā€™ with your cock.ā€ You step back, pointing the gun at him once again.
ā€œWhat do ya want?ā€ He asks, pulling at his restraints to no avail. Heā€™d love nothing more than to wipe that cocky smile off your face and flip the tables on you, but itā€™s not looking good for him.
ā€œWhat I wantā€¦ā€ You wiggle the gun in his face, tauntingly. ā€œ...is already mine, outlaw.ā€ Thereā€™s humor in your tone, and your body language is relaxed. You couldnā€™t see Suguru as less of a threat if you tried.
You piss him off.
And make him so fucking hard.
Heā€™s confused!
The noise of the doors to the train cabin opening can be heard and Suguru grins. Youā€™re fucked now. Larue is going to put a bullet between your eyes and sure, Suguruā€™ll be sad about it. But better you than him. You were a great fuck, heā€™ll admit. And yes, he entertained the idea of giving you a kid or two, maybe getting a little cabin out in the prairie. But that fantasyā€™s as dead as youā€™re about to be. Sad that he wonā€™t beā€“
ā€œThe guy with the nipples and the girl have been taken care of, boss!ā€ A chipper voice sings.Ā 
Thatā€¦is not Larue.
Suguru couldnā€™t turn his head if he tried, courtesy of this goddamn knot, but he can see the smirk on your face as you nod. ā€œGreat work, Hime. And the goods?ā€
ā€œAlready on the move with the others. Just gotta get on the horses when youā€™re ready.ā€
You turn your head, staring out the window and nodding again. Out of his peripheral, Suguru can just barely make out the form of two horses, racing alongside the train and he knows heā€™s screwed.
You sigh, shrugging while feigning sadness as you pout. ā€œWell, outlawā€¦looks like this is the end of the line.ā€
Suguru tugs at his ropes again, struggling against the holds. ā€œYou gonna leave me here like this?ā€ He gestures with his chin at hisā€¦situation. You must be forgetting his entire dick is out for the world to see. And that youā€™ve tied his hands up. Not to mention his fucking hair! If he has to cut his hair because of thisā€¦
You hum, like youā€™re actually giving deep thought to his question. Youā€™re not.
ā€œYeah, actually. Think I am.ā€ You lift your dress, not even pretending to be as innocent as you presented yourself to be when Suguru first laid eyes on you. You tuck his gun into the waistband of your undergarments, patting it affectionately. ā€œThanks for a grand olā€™ time, outlaw. If you manage to survive this, we can do it again.ā€
You shoot him a wink before you lean over him, leaving him with one final kiss on the lips. Itā€™s gentle this time, soft, save for a light nip to his bottom lip that embarrassingly enough, manages to arouse Suguru yet again.Ā 
ā€œAt least tell me your name,ā€ Suguru grits out through heavy breaths. ā€œSo I can be sure to repay the favor.ā€
Itā€™s a threat, but you donā€™t take it as one. You simply smile. Itā€™s warm, almost reminiscent of the woman he met just earlier. The woman he thought you were. But that look is gone as soon as it appeared. You pat his face gently, reaching across the seat to grab his hat that he had set aside when heā€™d first sat down. You sit it atop your head, wearing it like some sort of crown, and without another word, you leave.
The train cars open, the roaring rush of the wind filling the space for just a moment before theyā€™re shut again, and Suguru is left with nothing but his thoughts and his dick literally out. He leans his head back against the seat, closing his eyes to calm his racing heart and honestly to stifle the pain of his untouched erection.
This has been the wildest ride of his life. Definitely the worst heist heā€™s ever done. And if he does survive this, does manage to somehow talk his way out of charges and prison time, heā€™s going to find you. Fuck the robberies. Fuck the brothels. Fuck gambling and drinking all day. Yeah, if he manages to survive this, he will make it his lifeā€™s mission to find you again.
Because even after all is said and done, Suguru thinks he might fucking love you.
1K notes Ā· View notes
f1fantasys Ā· 6 months ago
Note
uhm so i have an idea where Lando is working out alone to release his emotions, perhaps after a bad day or bad race. but suddenly, you enter the gym, which annoys him because he wanted to be alone right now.
however, as you start working out, he kinda ogling your šŸ’ and eventually decides to approach you to talk and that led to the spicy part when he starts touching you and fucked you on one of the bench using you to let out his anger šŸ«£ tysm!!!
THIS!! I don't feel like I've done this INCREDIBLE request justice. So someone please write a better one and tag me in it! @ccsainzleclerc5516 you would do amazing at this!
POST RACE WORKOUT
Warnings - smut!! need i say more?
2.4 words. IDK why it's so short - feel like i have writers block.
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The Monaco weekend was always a fun one. Fun, but extremely busy, especially being a Sky presenter. From the Monday leading up to the weekend you'd been in and out of meetings, events, and not to mention recording and being live on air for several hours a day. But you loved it, and you wouldn't have it any other way.
But now that the race and post-race shows were finally over, you still had a lot of adrenaline and energy to burn, which is why you currently found yourself walking up the stairs to the gym, wearing the tightest tights and a sports bra. It was well past midnight, but, having connections had its perks, so here you were.
You pushed open the door and stopped in your tracks. There was some distant music playing and as your eyes scanned the room you definitely weren't expecting to find Lando Norris who was currently lifting weights, shirtless, might I add. He stopped what he was doing and stood up, eyes shamelessly searching your body, but an annoyed look on his face.
''Uh, hey'' you greeted.
All he did was nod his head.
''You good?'' you couldn't help but ask at the way he was looking at you. You felt you own cheeks heat up as you gawked at his body that was riled with sweat.
''Yeah'' was all he said as he turned around and continued what he was doing.
You of course have had a lot of interaction with Lando - several interviews and social media videos which meant you'd spent quite a lot of time with him. Obviously, he was one hell of hot man, and yes, you looked, but you'd never touch. Your work was too important to get involved with any of the drivers. You'd also noticed him looking more often than not, but you never allowed your mind to go there.
As you stood there for a few minutes you couldn't help but feel bad for the guy. He'd had a shitty race - mclaren had fucked his strategy, once again, and he didn't get the win. So you totally understood why he was in the gym at the time - also trying to get rid of the adrenaline.
You dragged your feet to the treadmill and hopped on, setting a medium pace, trying to focus on something else and not the half naked man across the room.
After about 15 minutes you slowed your pace down a bit, grabbing your towel to wipe the sheet of sweat over your face and arms. As you walked over to do some weights, you looked ahead in the mirror and locked eyes with Lando. He was standing drinking his water, and you watched as his eyes left yours and shamelessly looked your body up and down again. To be fair - you were swearing the skimpiest gym clothes which left nothing to the imagination.
What you didn't know was that Lando had been eye fucking you the full 15 minutes you were running. He had wanted to be alone, let out his frustration, but that changed the minute he realized it was you who walked through the door. He licked his lips as he saw how your tights wrapped around your ass so perfectly, how your boobs were bouncing and threatening to spill out of your bra, how you back muscles flexed as you ran, and how sweat covered your body making you glisten under the lights. Lando had always found you attractive to say the least, and now he was painfully hard by just watching you workout. He wanted nothing more than to walk up to you and rip your clothes off, bend you over, and rail into you.
You tried your best to ignore him and focus on your task, so you sat on the bench and started brench pressing, heavy breaths leaving your mouth.
Suddenly, you saw Lando standing above you, staring down, and his own breathing just as heavy as yours.
Before you could react and say anything, he held onto the weights and pryed it out of your hands.
''Lan-'' you started, but he cut you off.
''Shh'' you said, before walking around and facing you as you sat up. He took a seat in front of you, legs on either side of the bench as yours were.
You swore you heart was beating out of your chest right now. He looked so heavenly. Bright green eyes, curls messy and sticking to his forehead. And not to mention his god-damn beautiful torso. Muscles taught and defined, with sweat dripping down, his own body shining in the lights.
''Eyes up here'' he said, smirking, catching you out for staring.
''Fuck'' you mumbled to yourself, before you looked up at him.
You felt as his hands found your waist and effortlessly slid you closer to him, and now your breaths were mingling, the heat in your body rising.
As you found yourselves in an apparent staring contest, Lando's hands started roaming your body He traced your arms up and down, your shoulders, you back, and your breath hitched as he suddenly slipped them under your sports bra, feeling up your boobs and fondling with them.
You closed your eyes and tried to calm your breathing, but that was impossible with the fact that he was sitting right in front of you and touching you. Now he was rolling your nipples between his fingers, pulling at and tugging them, earning himself a moan from you.
''Lando'' you panted, needing more, almost grinding yourself on the bench.
''I know baby''
The nickname gave you goosebumps, and you couldn't help but open your eyes and smile at him.
Soon after, Lando tore your bra off of you, revealing your perky boobs. He lowered his head and latched his mouth onto your left nipple. Biting and sucking on it before using his tongue to sooth over.
Your hands found his hair and you pulled at his curls, edging him on, begging him some more. ''Lando, please'' you said, grinding down on the bench harder than before.
He lifted his head and crashed his lips to yours. It was eager and messy, tongues clashing and spit sliding down both yours and Lando's chin. He bit on your lower lip and you felt him slide his hands through your tights to grope at your ass. By now you were cupping his face, pulling him impossibly closer. While his one hand stayed on your ass, the other slid round to your front and cupped your cunt.
The action has you arching off the bench, breath increasing ever so much as he slid his fingers through your folds, which were soaking by now - something that didn't go unnoticed by him.
''Already dripping for me, love?'' he asked, voice thick and hoarse with his British accent.
''Uh huh'' was all you managed to say, biting your lips at the feeling of his calloused fingers rough against your clit, which he found rather quickly.
He captured your lips with his as he thrust two fingers through your entrance, the swift movement making you tremble in his arms.
''Ride my fingers y/n'' he said between breaths.
And so you did, you rode his fingers hard and fast, and just as he curled them at just the right time, feeling you soft cushiony spot inside of you, you felt a warmth begin to build in your stomach.
No word spoken and Lando added a third finger, sending you trembling over the edge as you latched onto his shoulder for support to ride you through your orgasm.
He slowed his fingers, eyes never leaving yours, before pulling them out and shamelessly licking them clean of you cum, moaning at the taste.
''Hmm, so fucking delicious'''he said, smirking, as you watched, mouth agape.
''Lando please'' you panted. ''Need to feel you in me'' you said, looking at him with longing eyes.
When you looked at him again, his whole demeanor changed. His eyes became ridiculously darker and the emotion he wore on his face was a mix of sudden anger and frustration.
He didn't say anything. Instead, he man handled you to lay down before he ripped your tights off of you and stood up to free himself of his constraints.
You watched as his hard cock bounced first then stood tall and angry.
''Fuck, he's big'' you thought to yourself as he placed himself between your legs.
Lando leaned down to kiss you as you took him in your hands and pumped him a few times, using your thumb to spread his pre cum around his tip.
The movement had him bucking forward, grunting into your mouth.
He pulled back and looked you in the eyes. ''You sure?'' he asked.
''Please. Please fuck me''
He lined himself up and wasted no time in slamming into you, bottoming out in one thrust.
''Shit'' you gasped. He was definitely the biggest you'd ever had, and the sting was intense. But this was Lando Norris, and you were determined to let him have his way with you.
He finally started moving, setting a pace that had your eyes rolling to the back of your head as your nails dug deep into his skin.
''So fucking tight, fuck y/n''
''Oh, Lando, yes, please, yes'' you cried out, unable to keep your moans at bay.
Lando continued to fuck into you while his mouth found your boobs and sucked hard at them, surely leaving purple bruises for tomorrow.
Within minutes you could feel your walls begin to clench around him, your orgasm approaching fast.
''Fuck, gonna cum Lan-'' you started but before you could finish he pulled out. You whined at him, an annoyed whine which you knew would edge him on further.
He scooped you up with such an ease, and suddenly you were flipped over and on your tummy, Lando sliding into your cunt with force again.
He bunched up your hair and pulled it tight, earning pornographic moans from your mouth straight to his ear.
''Can't win a fucking race but at least I got you begging for me'' he said through bated breaths, finally railing you the way he wanted from when you first walked in.
''Fuck Lando, you won. You won for me'' you moaned. You didn't care what the outcome of the actual race was - in your eyes, he was always a winner.
''Doing so well for me babygirl. That's tight.''
This time your orgasm gave you no warning. Hearing him call you babygirl pushed you over the edge, your body shuddering underneath him and your juices spluttering all over.
You moaned his name as you came, and if anything, he sped up his movements briefly before sliding out of you again.
This time he sat facing the mirror and pulled you up to sit down his lap, facing the mirror as well.
You immediately sank down on his now throbbing dick, setting a harsh pace as his hand snaked its way around you and settled on your throat.
''Want you to watch yourself fuck me'' he roughly whispered in your ear.
You kept your eyes on each other while you rode him, Lando's occasionally dropping down to watch how your boobs bounced up and down with each thrust.
''Fuck'' you hissed as you felt another orgasm approaching.
''Fucking me so good baby, go on. Be my slut'' he urged you to carry on.
Your movements were becoming sloppier, unable to hold yourself up and able to continue to thrust so Lando had to take matters into his own hands.
He was now fucking into you again, but at a relentless pace, clearly chasing his own orgasm as well.
''Together, yeah?'' he asked, his hand sliding down to toy at your clit.
You couldn't hold it in anymore. ''Fuck, Lando, now. I need to cum'' you said, as you felt his cock twitching inside of you.
The room now filled with grunts and moans, swear words flying everywhere as you both reached your climax, juices spilling out of you like the end of the worlds. Lando made sure to empty his load painting your walls white with his warm splutter.
You sank back down on him, letting your weight fall back leaning on him.
You locked eyes in the mirror again, both trying to catch your breaths, sweat dripping down the both of you.
Now that he got his release, Lando couldn't help but feel ashamed at the fact that he used you. Although this was the best sex he'd had in a long time, he felt he needed to apologize, and hope he hadn't fucked up a chance at anything more.
You could feel him softening inside of you, but neither made any attempt to move.
''Lan-''
''Wait. Fuck. I'm sorry if I was too rough'' he said, shyly.
''What?''
''I'm sorry i called you a slut. It was a complement, actually. I just had all this adrenaline from the race. And you were there. And...Fuck, i couldn't help myself'' he was rambling.
''Lando stop.'' you said firmer than you intended to. ''I didn't say I didn't enjoy it. Did I?'' you asked.
He shook his head.
''Really, it was so fucking good, and I'm glad it was me. I'm glad you used me''
''I-What?''
''Yeah, think I needed it as much as you did'' you said.
He wrapped his arms around you holding you tighter.
''Well then I'm glad you walked through the door. Thank you'' he cooed.
You smiled at him and slowly got up, letting him slip out of you, when something dawned on you.
''You ripped my clothes, Lando! literally'' you shrieked, eyes wide and a chuckle filling the air.
He stood up and pecked your lips.
''Well then, you'll just have to come home with me'' he said, smirking, but throwing his t-shirt to you to wear.
As he watching you put it on, he couldn't help but notice the stickiness dripping out of you.
''Fuck'' he mumbled, more to himself.
''What?'' you asked, as you didn't even release he was still watching you.
He didn't say anything, instead he bent down and licked your core, collecting the mixture of both of your cum.
The action had your breath hitching, not expecting it at all. You held onto his head as he did what he did, before he stood back up and let the juice slide out of his mouth and into your, before he kissed you roughly again.
''So fucking hot. Round 2 at mines?'' he asked.
You just smiled and walked to the door, opening it while gesturing him to follow you out.
REMEMBER - requests are open!
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1K notes Ā· View notes
astonmartinii Ā· 7 months ago
Text
you gotta look out for the quiet ones | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: oscar piastri x fem musician!reader
a surprise appearance from y/n in the formula one paddock raises some questions, but the rumour mill will never guess who she's there to see...
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
note: olivia rodrigo is the face claim but i'll be pulling from her music as well as taylor swift!
f1
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liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and 2,439,677 others
tagged: yourusername
f1: there's paddock guests and there's paddock guests, y/n y/ln is here for the bahrain grand prix!
view comments
user1: MOTHER WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?
user2: this is not what i expected to see this friday morning
user3: okay i've only ever heard of y/n y/ln through others but like she must be dedicated to be there for friday as well
user4: certified y/n superfan here! y/n has always said she's a massive fan of f1 - she hasn't been asked about it recently but when she was last asked about it she said she grew up loving jenson button!
jensonbutton: @yourusername i see you have amazing taste
yourusername: how could i not love the playboy of f1?
user3: okay she knows what she's talking about, i guess it's time to have a little listen to her music
user5: okay so what garage is she going to be in?
user6: ferrari šŸ¤žšŸ»
user7: did we not just see this ^^^ she's clearly going to be in the mclaren garage
user8: if she has any sense she'll be in the mercedes garage with sir lewis hamilton
user9: what about the literal world champions?
user10: shut the fuck up (i would like to see max blush and stutter tho)
user11: i love how y/n said she's taking a year off of music after her tour and we're immediately seeing her here, there and everywhere
user12: living her true sports nerd life and i love that for her
landonorris: i promise that mclaren have the best hospitality xx
user13: oh brother are we about to see some lando norris snapchat u up flirting?
alexalbon: this is tragic
georgerussell63: make sure you don't tell her about the massive poster you had of her that you practiced kissing on!
georgerussell63: whoops!
landonorris: i am in your walls george
user14: well.. that was something, i don't think we'll see her in the mclaren garage anytime soon now
logansargeant: @oscarpiastri i hope you brought your vinyl to be signed
oscarpiastri: i didn't want to risk it on the plane, it's limited edition šŸ˜”
user15: wait so oscar is also a y/n fan ???
user16: not this mclaren battle for y/n's attention
user17: lets be real, there's no competition here - there's no way she wouldn't choose lando
user18: i'm tired of you people sleeping on oscar (pun intended)
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yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 21,309,784 others
yourusername: i had so much fun the first time round, i thought i'd come by again
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user25: okayyyy i thought the girlies on twitter were delusional but the second race in a row ... i fear there's another incentive
user26: once again, she's been a massive fan of the sport and has a ton of disposable money why wouldn't she go to a load of races?
landonorris: can't wait to see you again this weekend, i'll get you that win i promised
alexalbon: nurse he's talking to himself again
georgerussell63: this is crazy thirsting to do in front of 21 million people
landonorris: i assure you i'll be the one with the last laugh here
maxverstappen1: sure you will buddy, it's good to see you so confident
user27: are they gentle parenting lando?
user28: bro is about to get his heart broken they're actually being good friends
user29: idk i think he's still the one in the paddock with the best shot
user30: i gotta get this delusion all lando fans seem to have
carlossainz55: i think you'd look great in red ā¤ļø
charles_leclerc: oh gosh....
carlossainz55: they don't call me the smooth operator for no reason, just sit back and watch the magic
maxverstappen1: you fucking morons do realise you're proclaiming this in a PUBLIC instagram comment section that everyone INCLUDING y/n can see?
user31: this is a mess ... keep going!
oscarpiastri: i celebrated my win here in 2021 with the release of sour - i know you're on a sabbatical but any chance of a surprise single?
user32: yall getting on lando and carlos for their bad flirting when oscar is stinking up the gaff with his attempts
yourusername: i'm so sorry to tell you this but no surprise single, but i can show you some demos?
oscarpiastri: please, please, please! good 4 u is my scream in the car song
user33: i just know oscar was streaming traitor when his DRS failed for the ten billionth time
oscarpiastri: it went platinum in my car yes
yourusername: i imagine it's even better at 200mph
oscarpiastri: i'd be happy to show you anytime
yourusername: carpool karaoke x hot laps when?
oscarpiastri: name a time and i'm there
user34: why is oscar trying so hard bro she's not going to choose you
user35: and yet he's the only one she replied to ... makes you think
user36: you guys are miserable because i'd literally do anything to see them singing in a car together
oscarpiastri
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 832,988 others
oscarpiastri: jeddah you were okay i guess
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user37: holy soft launch
user38: and right after flirting up a storm with Y/N Y/LN
user39: first of all, oscar is a fan of y/n so it could've definitely been from a platonic point of view
user40: it has to be platonic cause bro had no chance to start with and has a gf ???
landonorris: i'm sorry what is this ?
oscarpiastri: an instagram post, would hope you would know what that is if you're already on the app
landonorris: don't get smart with me mister
oscarpiastri: you got smart first šŸ¤Ø
landonorris: what happened to my sweet rookie?
oscarpiastri: he's still 23 years old ?
landonorris: i need to meet this mystery woman who has seemed to give you all this sass
user41: prema girlies know that this sass has always been here
user42: but i'm glad it's coming out in f1
yourusername: okay i guess? you slayed mr piastri and i won't hear anything less than that
oscarpiastri: okay it was a bit of a slay
yourusername: a bit?
oscarpiastri: a big slay then
yourusername: stop talking down on yourself otherwise you'll have me to deal with
oscarpiastri: that is not the threat you think it is
yourusername: it's not a threat it's a promise x
user43: excuse me what the fuck was that ^
user44: i can't tell if they're flirting or if y/n just feels sorry for him?
user45: they did get coffee like once this weekend so maybe they're just friends
user46: they have to be because there's no way that is y/n in this soft launch
user47: there's no way oscar piastri could woo the y/n y/ln idk why people are even suggesting it
user48: and i think even flirting with her is a bit weird considering his teammate has made it so obvious he likes her
user49: oscar doesn't seem to be the type to step on toes but we'll see
logansargeant: if that's who i think it is i am going to fight you for not telling me straight up
oscarpiastri: i'll meet you in the parking lot i guess
logansargeant: be there or be square
user50: what does logan know that we don't ???
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f1tea
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liked by user52, user53 and 11,209 others
f1tea: now she's attended THREE races in a row, i think it's okay to start the conversation about her being with one of the drivers... so here's our theories!
lando: he's been on this train the longest and has the old thirst tweets to back it up. he's been spotted talking to her numerous times at races and has been camping in her comment section since bahrain
carlos: he has also been in her comments since bahrain and has been seen with her in the paddock - less than lando but y/n has worn red a couple times in the paddock so??
lewis: y/n was blushing up a storm when they were spotted together and i honestly think if the age gap wasn't so big they would be so cute together
liam: an outside shout but this guy was stuck to her side the whole time she was at red bull
charles: they have spoken a lot in the paddock, i don't think it's him but omg imagine them together
view all comments
user54: not this oscar erasure - i.e. the only driver she's actually interacted with online
user55: if it's oscar i will literally streak across the track at the next race
user56: admin snuck liam in there like we wouldn't notice
user57: idk why they think that liam is a better shout than oscar
user58: i think all the fangirling from oscar defo put him straight into the friend zone
user59: idk about you guys but i've actually listened to y/n's music and her album after her last breakup suggests that she might like someone who appreciates her craft and publicly supports her
user60: yeah but she also deserves a boyfriend that's on her level
user61: oscar is a literal f1 driver?
user60: yeah but he's not cute enough
user62: to YOU
user63: omg just say you have no taste and bounce gosh
user64: how did lando become a frontrunner in this?
user65: i think because he's liked her the longest? and has been the most insistent
user66: i hate to say this but just because you like someone and said it first, does not mean you are entitled to actually date them
user67: i will laugh my ass off if she's not with any of these fools
user68: bro took a year off of music to have some fun and now is linked to everyone and their mum
user69: unfortunately this is the way it goes although if she does become a wag (tho be real, whoever is with her is the wag) i shall be enjoying her paddock outfits
user70: carlos vs oscar i think i've seen this film before
user71: oh trust me off track there is no competition
user72: you people are so mean
user73: oscar will win again, mark my words. i'm not sure if carlos can cry to the fia about that tho
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 23,874,093 others
yourusername: getting the real aussie experience down under
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user74: AHHHHHHHHHH A MAN
user75: who the fuck wears jeans on a hammock she needs to run away from this man he's clearly a psychopath
maxverstappen1: you went to see quokkas without me??? does our friendship mean nothing ???
yourusername: it's not considered normal to invite friends to a date
maxverstappen1: boring. i will remember this when you try and get some red bull from our hospitality
yourusername: nO PLEASE
maxverstappen1: no, for this you must suffer through the piss they put in monster cans
this comment was deleted
maxverstappen1: well you should've thought more of our friendship :P
yourusername: you are impossible. no more limited edition merch for you
maxverstappen1: WHAT
user76: for all this love life speculation i am loving this max and y/n friendship
user77: but... the monster comment... it has to be lando right? monster sponsor mclaren
user78: i think this is the most confirmation we're getting right now
user79: they're so cute
oscarpiastri: i am glad the homeland is treating you well :)
yourusername: i've only had one scary insect encounter so win!
oscarpiastri: we'll have to get you some real australian delicacies this weekend
yourusername: i've heard of grandma's baking so i'm excited!
oscarpiastri: we've got a tupperware box with your name on it
yourusername: ugh i love you guys
user80: the monster comment pointed to mclaren but there's only one of them in the comments...
user81: i mean this is a soft launch so it would make sense that lando wouldn't comment if they're trying to throw people off of their scent
user82: the mental gymnastics you people are doing is insane
user83: literally just admit that your driver just doesn't have the sauce like that
user84: and oscar piastri does???
user85: STOP SLEEPING ON HIM HE'S LITERALLY GETTING HER HOME-BAKED GOODS
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oscarpiastri
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 2,349,761 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: home win means more than you could ever know. and you can stop theorising now, i may be a nerd but i've still got game.
view all comments
user89: HHAHHHAHHAHAHAHHA THAT'S MY AUSSIE
user90: stunting his stunning gf on all these delusional fangirls
yourusername: now i can finally say it: I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU
yourusername: and i'm proud of you
yourusername: forever and always
oscarpiastri: maybe i was so fast because i knew there was a literal angel waiting for me back in my garage
yourusername: oh so the other races i came to i just didn't look good enough for you to win :(
oscarpiastri: NO NO NO you're always the most beautiful woman in any room
oscarpiastri: but this time you're wearing my jersey and my name
yourusername: i guess i'll never take it off again
oscarpiastri: you might not take it off, but that doesn't mean i won't
yourusername: ehhhehehhehheeh hurry up in debrief :P
user91: oscar piastri i am so sorry i was not familiar with your game
user92: i for one had complete faith in that bumbling fool
yourusername: as you should, he may have stuttered through the lines, but he's one smooth operator
carlossainz55: that's my nickname? please stop rubbing salt in the wound
yourusername: it was better than your attempts. and better than whatever the fuck you've been doing on the track - keep your dumptruck away from oscar
user93: y/n defending oscar, consider me moved
user94: okay fave celeb couple just dropped
landonorris: HOW LONG HAS THIS BEING GOING ON? HOW LONG HAVE YOU LET ME FLIRT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND? HOW DID I LOSE TO YOU?
yourusername: watch your tone.
landonorris: sorry???
oscarpiastri: we've been together nearly a year. i didn't 'let' you flirt with my girlfriend i tried to tell you but you ignored me at every turn. you didn't lose to me, there was never any competition.
yourusername: best year of my life šŸ«¶ and lando i tried to tell you, maybe listen to oscar for once šŸ˜­
oscarpiastri: awwwwww i love you šŸ˜˜
yourusername: i love you too osc xx
user95: not them dancing on lando's dead body šŸ˜­
logansargeant: I FUCKING KNEW IT YOU SON OF A BITCH
oscarpiastri: never doubt me again eagle boy
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 35,609, 451 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
yourusername: if you saw me ugly crying on live tv - no you didn't. i'm so proud of you osc, my beautiful boy.
view all comments
user96: i think y/n was all of us
user97: absolutely screaming at all of the y/n fans on twitter having a meltdown and trying to figure out how f1 works
user98: this was me, am i really going to learn about tyre compounds because y/n is dating a driver? yes!
maxverstappen1: i am very happy for you both but enjoy the win while it lasts oscar i have a score to settle after being ABANDONED on the quokka date
yourusername: once again it was a DATE which is for the two people in the relationship, not the weird third guy with attachment issues
maxverstappen1: well jokes on you i do have attachment issues and now i've latched onto you and oscar which means you're contractually obligated to come to every race now
yourusername: ok?
oscarpiastri: it's okay max with our combined powers, y/n will have to stick around she hates making us sad
yourusername: it's true :(
user99: not lando fumbling yet another lead
yourusername: he never had a chance to begin with
oscarpiastri: šŸ˜†
user100: this is another level of teammate psychological warfare
landonorris: i am a victim of a smear campaign
oscarpiastri: smear campaign being you flirting with my girlfriend after she told you she had a boyfriend
landonorris: I DIDN'T HEAR HER
yourusername: i said it multiple times šŸ¤Ø and SOFT LAUNCHED OSCAR AND YOU STILL TRIED
georgerussell63: looks like it's back to the poster now lando
yourusername: and for the record ^^ this is very creepy
landonorris: THAT WAS LIKE TEN YEARS AGO
alexalbon: that's what you want us to think ...
user101: i am screaming at them rubbing it in lando's face
user102: kind of deserved LOL but funny nonetheless
oscarpiastri: all things aside, i'm so glad you could be there for my first win! i love you so much and can't wait to spend there rest of my life with you, even if it means my teammate flirts with you everyday
yourusername: i love you too osc, i'm sure you'll win so many more
oscarpiastri: i'm counting on it ;)
landonorris: I AM SORRY HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT
yourusername: you gonna let oscar have the upgrades first?
landonorris: no?
yourusername: then i will guilt you at every corner šŸ¤Ø
fin. i know, i know. guilty as sin is coming but i just wanted to get this out. i had to come home from silverstone early cause of a mechanical dnf (foot stopped working and had heat stroke and a cold at the same time). but i had a great time while i was there and met a load of drivers with lando and alex signing my hat !!!!!
3K notes Ā· View notes
maplesyrupsainz Ā· 8 months ago
Text
Ė–āŗļ½”Ėšā‹†Ė™opposites attract | CL16Ė–āŗļ½”Ėšā‹†Ė™
pairing: charles leclerc x tattoo artist!reader y/n (she/her) x alexandra saint mleux
genre: social media au, polyamory
warnings: polyamory, some sexual innuendo
summary: in which no one actually believes your new partners could actually like you
a/n: LOVE this request i jus chose charles & alex coz i figured they r both sweet and tattooless LOL they dnt rly match y/n vibe hehe i luv it tysmmm
request!!!: reader is a tattoo artist of at least heavily tattooed. Iā€™m talking big tattoos all over her body. I imagine that no one believes they could be together let alone be friends because itā€™s someone you totally wouldnā€™t expect to be with a driver and his girlfriend? Iā€™m open for any driver x wag pair :))
my masterlist
fc: aussiedomxo on ig
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twitter ->
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instagram ->
yourusername šŸ“ monaco
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liked by alexandrasaintmleux, yourbff, and others
yourusername so much fun in monaco this week ā€“ got to do some super cool tattoos among other things!
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user1 alex in the likes
user2 why would they be friends šŸ’€
user3 we dont know them lol. be srs rn
user4 she's so cool
yourbff sooo cool
yourusername ilysm
user5 who's the man lol
user6 who is she???
user7 tattoo artist who's been seen out with alex
user8 who cares bro šŸ˜‚
user9 idk ppl r so dramatic and nosy lol
alexandrasaintmleux me next! šŸ™‹ā€ā™€ļø
yourusername i could never mark that glorious skin of yours
alexandrasaintmleux not what you were saying last night .......
charles_leclerc šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚
user10 urmmm WHAT
user11 excuse me lol
twitter ->
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instagram ->
f1wagupdates
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f1wagupdates (your nationality) tattoo artist y/n y/l/n was spotted driving one of charles leclerc's cars this weekend in italy, following rumours of her newfound "friendship" with him and his girlfriend, alexandra saint mleux
tagged: yourusername
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user18 stop it hahahaha
user19 is this some elaborate prank
user20 not y/n liking this post lol
user21 i kind of love her
user22 threesome alert threesome alert
user23 our unbothered queen y/n
yourbff she looks good in red
liked by yourusername, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc and others
user24 omg hello????!???!
yourusername posted a story
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user25 there's no way charles & alex like u covered in all that šŸ’€
alexandrasaintmleux wow
yourusername i am not worthy of you
charles_leclerc my love šŸ˜»
yourusername meow
charles_leclerc oh stop it you
user26 me when i love women
user27 wow the tats r so cool
user28 charles & alex have rich prince and princess vibes & then there's y/n
user29 trashy tbh
alexandrasaintmleux posted a story
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charles_leclerc wow look at her šŸ˜»
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francisca.cgomes love her!! bring her to a raceeee
alexandrasaintmleux all in good time šŸ¤“
user30 omg y/n again??
user31 why are u always with her now
user32 where's charles!!!
user33 this pairing makes no sense
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc home life lately
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user34 AHHHHH stop it
user35 omg wait what?
user36 WAS THREESOME ALERT THREESOME ALERT REAL???
user37 YESSSS F1 POLYAMORY
user38 maybe they're just friends??? everyone always wants ppl to be dating
user39 be fr...
alexandrasaintmleux our tattooed goddess šŸ’˜
charles_leclerc she is so majestic!
alexandrasaintmleux unbelievably beautiful
charles_leclerc oh, i believe it šŸ˜Œ
yourusername GUYS. stop it im blushing
user40 AHH NO WAYY
user41 where are the charlesalexyn deniers now
user42 omgg they are so mismatched but in the best ways possible
user43 i can't believe it's real omg
user44 literally i didnt believe it at first
yourusername im so lucky to know you guys! you know what they say, opposites attract šŸ˜‰
charles_leclerc forever and always ā¤ļø
alexandrasaintmleux our missing piece šŸ§©
THE END ā¤ļø
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spatialwave Ā· 1 month ago
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Jayce Talis as a Husband & Father | Headcanons
āžø ask: "hiii i was wondering if you could do post s2 arcane headcanons for Jayce?? like jayce x wife!reader that have a newborn baby??" āžø pairing: jayce talis x wife!reader āžø word count: 923 words āžø tags: mdni! sfw, fluff, comfort, mentions of jayceā€™s trauma, pregnancy, headcanons, childbirth, parenthood, canon-divergent ending. āžø notes: i went really poetic with this idk why. also this definitely heightened my already terrible baby feverā€¦ā€¦. please for the love of god send me more asks about girldad jayce, i am begging you. i love writing these.
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When you met Jayce Talis, you fell madly in love with him almost instantlyā€”as did he with you. Within the first six months of your relationship, he proposed to you with a ring that heā€™d smithed himself, adorned with a hextech gemstone that sparkled unlike anything youā€™d ever seen. Of course, you said yesā€¦ and moved in within that same week.
Living with Jayce Talis meant dealing with the aftershocks of what heā€™d gone through during his time in the arcane and subsequent war. With a permanently injured leg and mental wounds that left him cursed by night terrors, you were they by his side to help him overcome his past. You were the rock he hadnā€™t known he needed, the one who encouraged him to keep fixing what heā€™d broken (and not without his partner, Viktor.)
Although heā€™d gone through hell and back, he found joy and happiness in you again. No longer was he filled with anger and guilt for allowing his naivety to take control of what was rightā€”all Jayce wanted was to be happy. With you.Ā 
When you found out you were pregnant, Jayce was over the moon, excited and horribly nervous. He constantly worried whether or not heā€™d be a good father, and the absence of his own in his life made him uncertain. He would spend countless evenings with his mother, asking her hundreds of questions about parenthood, which either made it better or worse depending on what he wanted to know.
However, the worry washed away when he held his little girl in his armsā€”weighing shy of six pounds and so tiny in his arms. It was a beautiful sight, a rugged man with messy hair, scarred arms, and calloused hands holding the love of his life.
Your daughter brings out a side of Jayce that Viktor told you is reminiscent of his life when they first met all those years ago: gentle, curious, nervous and much too excited.Ā 
Jayce is messy and clumsy in his parenting, learning as he goes, but he is so dedicated. Heā€™s used to being covered in stains but no longer in oil and soot from his work. Now itā€™s spit-up and dried milkā€¦ among other things. And to you, heā€™s never looked sexier than when heā€™s a mess.
Even though heā€™s still a councillor and working with Viktor on restabilizing hextech, he makes time for his family. The days of late-night tinkering in the lab or long council meetings are in the past because there is nothing more important to him than you two.
He is a very overprotective dad, constantly worrying about the little things and often getting sleepless nights because he checks on her one too many times to make sure sleeping soundly in her crib. He baby-proofs your home with everything he can makeā€”doorstops, locks for the cabinets and removing any of his work from his home to the lab so there are no accidents. Itā€™s cute, but considering that your daughter is shy of two months old, the baby-proofing tends to get in the way, but you let him. ā€˜Father knows bestā€™ is a term he coins and uses, much to your annoyance.
Jayce always splits the tasks of parenting between you two but is never opposed to taking on more than you if you need the rest. As you slowly transition to include bottle feeding in your routine, he takes on nightly shifts for you. You find him asleep a few times, sitting up against the crib with a blanket covered in spit-up draped over his shoulder and an empty bottle in his hand.
He is a sentimental man. He makes a locket that he wears as a necklace every day, tucked beneath his clothing, and shows it off to anyone that he canā€”a photo of you and your daughter inside it.
You swear youā€™ve never been more in love with Jayce than you are now. A loving father and husband who doesnā€™t let his new role as a parent overshadow his love for you.
Heā€™s just as romantic as he was the first time he took you on a date. A month after you gave birth and were far too stir-crazy to be at home any longer, Ximena watched your daughter, and he took you out on a date that reminded you of simpler times. Showering you with gentle touches and kisses that set your heart on fire and reignited your passion.
Jayce noticed how your confidence dropped since the pregnancy. He finds you looking at yourself in the mirror and trying to love the body that grew your daughter, hands over your still-rounded stomach and tracing the stretchmarks. Changes that look so large in your eyes go unnoticed by him, and he makes sure to cherish your body as a reminder that his love for you hasnā€™t changed.
Every night in bed, he kisses your stomach, your hips, your thighsā€”peppering your body with kisses and massaging you as he worships your strength and beauty, silently thanking you for bringing your daughter into the world.Ā 
As with any relationship, there are good days and bad. Some days go so smoothly that you wonder if you both were naturally inclined to be the perfect parents. Then come the days when all you can do is argue, overcome with the stress, fears and worries of marriage and parenthood.
But you make it through because to be loved by Jayce Talis is to feel love unlike anything you have experienced before, and that is worth the hardships.
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