#idk it just feels bad that i dont think i can do that after being so ready and excited for it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

isaisliterallyhim · 6 hours ago

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hey can you please write about reader giving nagi a handjob while he's playing but as revenge because he's been ignoring reader for his games so reader doesn't let him cum unless he wins the round but he can't focus on the game because of the pleasure he's feeling!! hoping for a kinda subby nagi if that's alright <3

YES YES OMG ANON BBY I SEE IT AHJWJSAJ delicious plot hehe!

"i'm about to show you, baby slow down!"

ft. nagi seishiro . ooc! nagi ? . somewhat sub! nagi heh . aged up! characters . established-relationships . fem! reader . nsfw . smut . handjobs . cockwarming in the end ? . nagi's kinda a dick rn . use of mommy ig... . unreliable narrator.. :^

wc: 0.5k

cw: this might be dub-con idk tho

"my girlfriend's always harassing me whenever i'm tryna play a game.. what a hassle," nagi started off. his friends giggled on vc. "she's a nice person, you'll get used to it."

a few rounds of horror games, nagi was carrying hard. (heh hard like him :x) horror games were yea, a hassle. but, not a hassle to him. unlike his friends, nagi didn't really scream. shit, he was so lazy he didn't even wanna be fazed.

this round in particular though... "g-good god..." the man whined, spasming a little. "you good, nagi?" bachira asked. "is the horror finally getting to you?" your softer, smaller hands pumping at his cock :p

it started off slow, nagi didn't really notice at first. slow and steady wins the race right? but after a few more minutes of getting ignored, you fastened the pace.

you locked eyes with nagi. your lips curling into a smirk. "sei, what're your friends g'na think when they realize that when you're receiving a handjob with little to no lubrication at all?" you began. "your cock was leaking so much pre — it was like you wanted me to do this!" you continued to yap, face now no longer in a cocky demeanor but, in a pouty expression now.

"[n-name]," the grey eyed man moaned out. your expression, your hands... the stimulation was getting to him. "w-wait guys- oooh..." nagi tried to get out, his voice now strained. "nagi, you weren't even screaming are you good?" isagi asked. screaming? nah this guy was CREAMING.

"y-yep, i'm good," he stuttered out. "i jus' need a few minutes off real qui.." his voice trailed off as he muted himself. his hand released the mouse as his calloused fingers wrapped around your hand. nagi began thrusting into your hand.

his shaft was absolutely tearing up, just like the man. tears leaked from his eyes while there was a bit of semen leaking out of his tip LOL.

"[name], s-slow down.. [name], i-i.." he couldn't even get the words out as he scrunched his eye shut. "sei, yknow you dont deserve this at all.. all you've done was ignore me n shit this whole week..." you frowned. nagi knew he was coming close, hell he WAS going to come.

"i'm sorry mommy, i didn' mean t'- god! please, i'm sorry!" he apologized. the stimulation actually got to nagi as he came. his precious n delicious come leaked out as he let out the most gorgeous moan you've ever heard during the whole time you two were together.

your eyes kinda widened. nagi had this flushed, fucked out expression. he was panting like crazy. "[name], i'm so sorry.." he sobbed.

"what happened to emotions being a hassle, seishiro?" you teased. his sweatpants n boxers were to his knees LOL. nagi slid down your shorts n panties. "please let me feel your warm cunt, ma'am.. please use me f' your pleasure, pretty.." nagi mumbled. most genuine mumble omd...

"my bad guys, i'm back." nagi grunted after unmuting. nagi had a little bit of struggle seeing the PC screen with his gorgeous partner's warm n tight walls clenching against his shaft. let's just say, nagi wasn't the best player after LOL.

— ©isaisliterallyhim, 2025

tags! : @twijaxx ♡, @kyvkc

a/n : errr... idk man i came back from training w my corps i j wrote this and threw it .. kinda late night post so uhwhhdaj sorry for the unreadabler englush i tried ok ygs i j went thru a breakup pls give me credit for trying. nyways, nagi ohf wakkk hes so hot omg.. i need that 190 cm man in me omgmgmjddkkwjd anyhow i hope ygs enjoyed hehe

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bacchuschucklefuck · 9 months ago

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okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is

#dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #not art #fhjy spoilers #its!!! gods I will Be My Ass in the tags rn. but thats so like. deliciously setting typical #like porter's desire is to transcend and his contempt for the world he's in feels. idk Real #like he plays the game bc he wants to win and be done with it. how do I word this #yknow. being a god would like. be his win state. when he gets that happening thats it his story is done he checks out #meanwhile the bad kids do actually just like playing the game lmao. like they love adventuring!#theyre so solidly Of This World. they carry the values that can only be born of it and they like having mastery over it #its a meta angle that I think is very fun specifically for d20 being in such a unique position in the zeitgeist when it first started #the rat grinders are from DnD Writ Large. porter wants to escape. but this is the bad kids' home its Their Actual Play Show #which makes it so fucking excellent to me that porter's question is somewhat of merit! its their show and it tries very hard to punish them #and they just straight up dont listen to him here lmao bc they hate him but! since the moment the academic track ended its been clear #that they save the world bc they Like Playing. With Each Others #thats what riz thinks the core of adventuring is! thats why fig stayed! and I also think thats why this hovers over elmville now and #a dead god is coming back in the school gym. porter is a shit evangelist but even if hes a good one I dont think it wouldve worked like he #wants it to. the only way he couldve escaped is if he'd not involved elmville at all. thats where the bad kids met dude #its a shitty place that fucks with them but they all come back here bc they wanna play with each others #and in that regard I think thats what the stress tokens ultimately means. Is This Game Still Fun To Play. ITS A RAGEQUIT LIMIT #Im literally running from one end to another of this conspiracy board Ive pulled out of nowhere #Ill draw after this I just wanna get this out. gods this episode has done nothing but furthering my delusion of grandeur actually #Im the hottest smartest manthing on earth Im king fucking midas over here. anyways uh! great ep!

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dykedvonte · 2 months ago

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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.

I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.

It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.

There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.

#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea #would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress #was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he #just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim #the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking #eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the #reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew #feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to #choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like #it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto #that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the #scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt #cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still #followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want #because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so #they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you #just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be #like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c #crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot #himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point #like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a #point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c #there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance #in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly #is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the #convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied #Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact #Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs #around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin #to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago

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whatever //blasts your old man with the butch beam//

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #yakuza series #jo sawashiro #genderbend #snap sketches #sorry.#i laid in bed for three seconds and i dont know what happened i saw a vision and thought to myself 'how can i make my mommy issues worse'#unrelated ramble time my dad. texted me and he did the whole 'you need to eat' bit #and then i told him i was goin to my moms this weekend for a hot minute and he was all 'oh ill send you miso soup :) quick an easy :)'#like thank you...... i. LOVE. water.#i actually do like miso soup but it just seems like a funny thing to me idk LOL #immediately after that he was like 'wait ill just give you money for groceries'#which i felt bad bout since i always feel bad gettin money from my dad. not my mom tho she's a witch #see this is. why we're here tonight this ramble is NOT totally unrelated LMAO #anyway. i have a genderbent ichi doodle too but i figured one (1) instance of me being ill is enough for tonight #so with that im gonna look at the wall more and think of women BYE

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faaun · 1 year ago

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it's just not going to work it feels bad but it has to happen but breakups that happen when nothing in particular has gone wrong and it's just an issue of like...paths in life/compatibility etc etc, where otherwise you actually rly do love the person, are so hard !! like i care for u i still want to be ur friend it just wont work in a romantic way !!

#its 1yr+ relationship too i care abt her so much #we just both deserve to feel fulfilled and i dont currently feel that way its not rly her fault i think we were just meant 2 be friends #and not lovers but somehow that makes it worse ?? like im glad im not on bad terms w her ofc i love her a lot #but it makes it harder to get over yk #....i hope we can still be friends idk idk !!#she has been my best friend for a while #breakup happening in 1 week from now. i keep delaying this decision but it rly rly has to be done #we r just...fundementally missmatched and we both need to be w ppl who we can grow with #i think we could grow together if we were just friends but aughh its sl ahrd ik being friends after a breakup rarely ever works out #my friends say its like a 50/50 chance if u break up on good terms #anyway being the person doint the breaking up is hard !!!#also i have been doing kind of super badly recently and i think i need some time to figure stuff out w my own mental health too

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termagax · 6 months ago

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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.

#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean #so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him #a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww #i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now #but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting #so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3 #and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that #so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it #anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of #doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes #all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups #(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really #tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze #i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time #but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it #will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy #would be. and i cant do that for him #again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go #'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad #ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not #because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience #to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever #because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it #^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows #idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster #about it and i want it so bad

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xxplastic-cubexx · 4 hours ago

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just read the new mutants issue where Charles chose to stay behind in space and my god the juxtaposition between Charles trusting Erik and Erik joining the hellfire club and wondering at his own trust worthiness. I wonder how much of Charles decision was him ultimately trying to avoid the fact that his first class had seemingly betrayed mutant kind and not be willing to face them and how much of it was Dani and Illyana's reaction to him having Karma mind control Illyana. the fact that Illyana was depending on him to ease her mind through limbo and in choosing to stay he forced karma to do it instead, probably fucking up their relationship in the process.

I love him, this is crazy, how much of this is him trying to runaway and how much is this him not trusting himself to fix things and how much is it just him trusting Erik?

i keep trying to put into words my exact thoughts about the sitch but there really is a lot for one issue aintit... oh charles you and your brain...

#snap chats #thats why we have tag rambles AHAHA #ok so to tackle things one at a time charles ultimately deciding to stay in space despite his expressed want to return to earth #obviously it was when lilandra pointed out if her sister took charge of the shi'ar then the universe- earth included- would be in peril #charles notes his position as a losing one: whichever choice he makes he loses #he goes to earth then the universe could be at stake/he stays in space he loses his kids #of course charles COULD just put his faith in the starjammers but is that a risk he wants to take ? evidently not #charles' reoccurring flaw is he's willing to sacrifice personal relationships for the greater perceived good #even lilandra acknowledges this- that charles' homesickness for earth was an inevitability just as she is indebted to protecting the stars #so now his ruptured relationship with illyana and co- esp right after comforting a split illyana last issue #we've seen charles act more coldly/rashly when he's about to lose people (i think of his first death with the og5 mostly)#i mean it's a key part to charles' chara that he doesn't favor mind controlling others and im sure he has the same regard for his students #he's aware of the damage it can do and in this instance- for one reason or another- he orders it to be done regardless #im sure he does this as a form of defense: if his kids are upset with him they won't feel too bad about losing him and it'll be less painfu #obviously we still see sam wish charles farewell and wish for him to come back soon but yk.. worthy attempt..#and it's not as if charles wants them to hate him ENTIRELY.. he's still touched by sam's goodbye no.... fickle man he is..#i dont think charles is totally afraid to confront the og5- its what made him want to return to earth with the nms initially #tho again.. could his decision to stay in the stars be influenced by that? that maybe he ISNT prepared to confront them like he thought?#who's to say... not me i dont got that psych degree yet..#erik being charles' trusted confidant definitely made his decision easier on top of that: i mean is he needed if he has a substitute #i think charles DOES wholly trust erik: charles really doesnt approach his x-men half heartedly. from his pov ofc #if he didn't genuinely believe in erik's potential he wouldn't have picked him; hes a comforting thought when charles decides to depart #'although i'm gone erik understands me and my goals enough to continue my work as good as i would have so i have nothing to worry about'#which. yk. makes the whole White King thing kinda awkward VJAELVJEAKL charles you fool #i have no idea how this saga ends though... tbh im only on ish 45 of NM i just read 50 and 51 to get context for this ask #so i can only wait and see how this saga turns out... once i finish reading house of m/secret invasion stuff jvLKEJKA #idk im tired and rambling dont pay attention to me.. ramblin bout charles' brain is a good day for me regardless if i make sense jVLAJ

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orcelito · 6 days ago

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It feels. So so so good to feel confident in my playing again.

I spent a good hour and a half yesterday working at my new bridge again (so a total of 2.5 hours of sanding) and I think I'm satisfied with it now. The sound is definitely a lot better in general, which is Wonderful!! And I put on one of my new practice mutes today, so I didn't feel quite so self conscious playing with my bow. Bc my playing both sounds better than before and wasn't as loud (due to the mute), so! Not as self conscious!!

The bow was an important thing for practicing today. Prior practices at home, I was just practicing the fingerings and plucking, but when I got to rehearsal I'd still get tripped up by the bowings. So I needed to practice the bowings for this audition video.

Playing here today... I mean I still wasn't perfect, but that's what the practice is for. But my finger agility feels like it's really coming back, nowhere Near as stiff as it was when I started out this semester, AND my bow control was actually pretty damn good!!! So even with the parts I was tripping up on, overall my sound quality was Good, and that's. Such a relief, honestly. I got so out of practice that it kinda felt *wrong* to play, bc the experience just didn't match what I'd known in the past. Too clumsy, too stiff. But after just a few weeks of consistent practice, im starting to feel like my old self again. Starting to feel like I Do have the right to call myself a violinist.

And it's a very, very good feeling.

#speculation nation #stopping playing for now bc it's starting to get a lil late. and even with the mute it's still kinda loud.#dont wanna be that asshole neighbor playing their violin at night lol #but i also got the sections to a point where im. reasonably content with them.#i can play them mostly without error. just slower than i need to play them for the video.#but im gonna practice again tomorrow to focus on speeding that up.#and then on tuesday... after rehearsal im gonna see if i can nab a practice room to film my audition video in #if theyre all full i can film the video at home. but the practice room would be easier :p #regardless. i feel like i can actually do this. i feel like i'll be able to nab a spot in one of the first few stands.#ahhhhhhh im so happy. it feels like something is slotting back into place for me.#i never stopped being a violinist but my body started forgetting. but all it took was a few weeks to wake it back up again...#GAH im gonna get emotional if i think about it too much. just a few weeks to start feeling like im getting my old skill back!!!!!#which is to say. i couldve done this all along. i just never had outside pressure to motivate me into practicing.#combined with my self consciousness at having other people hear me practice... and thus i fell out of practice.#but im not gonna let it get that bad ever again. even if i dont have an orchestra im in i will find pieces to play #play at least once a week or smth idk. i'll have to see.#i have a lot of hobbies and a lot of them end up on the back burner because of this #but violin is one of those core hobbies that are worth it to me to prioritize. and so i shall!!!!!!!

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shdwtouch · 9 months ago

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not me openly admitting that shade lowkey takes after me. this was not intentional, I swear. uwu; she kinda just... ended up with an extra dose of who I am as a person, whereas most of my original characters receive much less.

I realized this when considering that shade is most likely homo leaning. and I was like, haha she's just like me ! an enby ace lesbian... and then the similarities just kept getting drawn. idk maybe I'm just overly tired.

also like. not gonna apologize ? she really isn't a self-insert. but its also like... creators are allowed to put themselves into what they make ! and I'm proud of shade, I really am. so I won't be made ashamed for traits we might share.

#《 ° puffin.exe 》 im a puffin ! i dont do much #° mobile post !#° to be deleted !#tbh i dont know hoe people get off accusing people of making self inserts in the rpc like #how do you know ?? unless i explicitly state or draw comparisons ??#and why would i do that if my intent is to fool people ? like.#i understand that interacting with inserts can be uncomfortable. i do !#but unless you really know the person ? you arent in a place to say their characters are inserts #and tbh i feel like most of my discomfort comes from the prospect of being deceived #im okay with writing with inserts but im gonna draw boundaries #especially if youre writing them with the intent to live through them / fantasize.#while I think its valid its not something i am personally comfortable with. i dont consent to that as an rp partner.#but im also envisioning the worst possibility in which its someone getting off to how i interact with their oc #point being. to my mind. self inserts arent bad. they also arent easy to judge.#and even if i dont consent to interacting with an insert for the purpose of being wank material or emotional stimulus...#people could still use my content for wank or emotional stimulus by putting themselves in the shoes of whoever im writing with so #am i really one to judge? no. because again. i dont know.#and i honestly think anyone who can come out and say their oc is an insert or takes after them is #more trustworthy than someone who doesnt disclose it. idk just. there is no need for deception.#and if you do try to deceive me im gonna assume you have ill intent #whereas honesty is something that should be valued. especially in cases where the truth is so stigmatized.

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macroglossus · 1 year ago

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being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED

#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right?????#this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh.#when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like #two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that #time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore #is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and #when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up #and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not #that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on #listening. if that makes sense #IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive #like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!!#idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that #im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy.#epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍

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iwakuraz · 3 months ago

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it's not going too well

#cw vent #but #:[ i feel so baaad about it idk #one of the only things im known for in school is self harm and i dont wanna go back tomorrow #and now it feels like sh is basically my only recognisable thing #so everytime i look down at my arms and see scars fading away i just feel so terrible about it #what am i doing? why am i not cutting myself tahts what im meant to do thats what ive always done!! thats all anubody wants from me #i kinda really don't like how #basically everykne in my school really doesn't like me much cuz all i really have going is that i cut myself #have autism #and may or may not be a tranny #even though all of those things are things that are true qnd i dont even think they're bad things #i just. i dunno. i feel bad. like genuinely they have one thing they want me to do #and thats hurting myself!! but im not even doinf that right now #this is so dumb. all my problems are dumb as fuck huh #im so scared of school now #its not even just how the people act #when i go into the corridors there are so many people #so when im finally alone it always feels like theres someone behjdn me. its scaring meee i dunno. i hate school #please dont make me go back tgere. wait no what do you mean this is gonna be another three or so years #and even after those threes years i still have to go to university.. and get a job #this is the rest of my life i think and that makes me sad #i really tried to like school i tried so so hard to like school #but its so difficult. too many people too many noises #too many rumours and too many ableists #there are also too many tags on this post #but rlly the bad part of school has never been the work for me. im a dumbass but i do like learning #weh. dont make me go back. can i sleep for 72 hours instead of going to school #i hate walking into that stupid building everyday and being able to feel everybodys eyes go onto me #its all so scary. i should stop venting on here but i probably won't im sorry

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freezi-drink · 4 months ago

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#i feel like my life is falling apart rn and i know that a good bit of that is amplified by way of being 19 but it really is bad rn #i got a job at the end of summer and i absolutely love it but my grades at school have been suffering really really bad bc i just dont have #the energy after working weekends and im failing like 3 classes and for my scholarship i have to keep at least a B and 2 of the classes i #think i can fix but im probably gonna have to pull out of one of them which freaks me tf out bc my dad pays the tuition that isnt covered by #my scholarship and hes gonna be so disappointed and im really fucking bad at asking for help especially from him bc it makes me feel like a #little kid and so ive been lying to him about my grades for weeks so now it feels like its too late to ask for help and even once i email my #advisor emailing her takes so much out of ke that i dont even have the energy to meet with her so its a useless endevor but i also know that #the only way to fix this is to get help and idk what im doing im just a kid and god i wish i could flash forward to 20 years from now when #this shit wont matter and ill have things relatively figured out and the stuff i dont im not too worried about and fucking hell being 19 #sucks so much

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hyp3rfixation-h3ll · 1 year ago

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Seeing your post about toxic doomed Yuri burgertron/spudmuffin changed my brainwaves. I read it and was like woahhh they ARE toxic doomed Yuri

there is a top 10 messiest breakups botvid and spud / burgertron are in the #1 spot and i will not be considering otherwise. they could have been THE power v-shaped polycule with ulf but fate aligned their destinies and it was not written in the stars . pouring one out for the combo meal of all time 😔✊

#botbots tag 🏪#you've got mail 📬#tf botbots #botbots #transformers botbots #i choose 3 believe burgertron Does miss spud btw.#it hurts him a lot and he DOES still keep the photo of them and ulf on his wall in his nest #idk how 2 describe it but it's like. just because he knows what he did was the correct thing #doesnt mean he Isn't going to grieve #spud isn't Dead but he mourns all the same #because he *lost* someone dear to him #there's also the aspect of me hcing burgs w/ bpd and spud was one of his FPs so after everything happens i hc he black and white splits --#-- a lot because he's under a lot of duress (something i do when someone i love does something bad)#botbots dont have therapists so i think the rest of the lost bots'd help him out with that but i am not going to sugarcoat it #he is a DISASTER . (ENDEARINGLY)#and then there's the days he feels like a bad person for even being the reason this happened in the FIRST place #when it wasnt . it was never his entire fault and some of that blame DOES go to spud because he never took the liberty of just Asking #and yes burgertron didnt know but can you really blame someone for setting events in motion when theyre oblivious???#he didnt know. he couldnt have #and that just adds to the tragedy of it. had burgertron known and spud just taken the appropriate course of action the show'd be different #but of course we all know it didnt go like that #i could talk about them for a while and the fallout of the games bc holy shit there is so much and they make me insane #THANK YOU for giving me an outlet 2 speak and im so glad i could open your eyes to burgerspud yuri #they are So tragic i hope they recover and go to therapy

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faedotexe · 4 months ago

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So i'm working on a tiny roll & write about being a giant dragonness and conquering the land and burninating the countryside and uh I'm kind of trying to make """"""art""""" for it lmao

chat is this cringe

#print and play #boardgames #also the base concept for this game was “fuck it today im making monopoly but good”#and uh it's kind of moving away from monopoly pretty fast #but im content knowing that the base structure of it still was an inspiration #like how can i take this dreadful gameplay and pump as much decision making into it as i can #and i did #well im saying monopoly but good but the first playtest wasnt that good honestly #it wasnt bad but it wasnt like ENGROSSING #idk the roll and write about fishing i did last week was a bit MORE #but also they're not on the same scale games kinda #but also also i think the next version is going to be really nice actually #but i kinda got sidetracked uhhhhhhh #i just hope i dont have to throw all of this graphic work to the garbage #haha that never happens i never EVER get sidetracked and work too hard on visuals before i should #no but actually the playtest felt kinda close to good so im half confident that the changes im making will get it where i want it to be #its not a huge project anyways #like i started working on it friday i think #but i kept getting sidetracked i havent been efficient since thursday i think #well by sidetracked i mean setting up this tumblr #which is kind of also work if i want to try to have a Social Media Presence #well anyways i'm trying to find an artstyle that i can do with just a mouse and being Not Proficient At Art #and also one that works well with vector graphics because i'm already using illustrator for everything kind of #i could also maybe do pixel art i guess but it's so much more work idk #also im way too new at pixel art #this just feels like the natural next step after having been making icons for years and years #and by years and years i mean like four years #i think idk time flies so fucking fast #help #anyways

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phantaloon · 5 months ago

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#i mean in the nicest way possible #but like when you're in med school you truly have to have your priorities straight #bc otherwise you're going to end up doing just mediocre #and like #who wants a mediocre doctor to help them #there's some shit you have to sacrifice sometimes #sometimes its spending time doing things you like sometimes its asking for help with your responsibilities #sometimes its knowing you're gonna get an hour or two of sleep bc you have to finish doing everything you have to do #and if you're not gonna learn how to prioritize and be responsible idk if there's a point 😭#like im sorry #ik mental health is incredibly important more than anyone else #but we're training to be people who will literally have to save someones from dying at one point #us being late or us not studying or us not knowing something can literally kill someone #i just #ugh #it pisses me off how some actual friends dont take this seriously #and like oh im sleepy bc ive been doing other stuff all day im not gonna study i think #LIKE BROTHER IN CHRIST #and the worst part is like #i feel so bad saying this but we should be taking 5 classes each semester so we can get to intern year #this person is taking only 3 #like bro we've literally had exam after exam every day this week #we're exhausted too #we just gotta suck it up

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pyrosomatic-metamorphosis · 1 year ago

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I read that same fic earlier and I just straight up muted the person so their works don't show up for me anymore lmao

there was also another one like that posted yesterday because the person was mad at something qBad did a couple of days ago while not at all in his right mind and amnesiac, it was odd (not shitting on the person just confused and slightly concerned)

yeah there’s. a lot of misconceptions around qbad rn lmao. It’s one of the reasons Im so obnoxious about him, tbh, so that it’s not JUST the negativity that gets spread. He’s a really good target for the hate rn, because he has a smaller fanbase and his pvp playstyle + lore lead him to all that antagonizing during purgatory, and that gets vented out into fics.

It’s genuinely really interesting, the dichotomy that seems to exist between tumblr and twitter regarding him. Ive heard nothing but slander about bbh from twitter (again, he is not faking his illness, that is a lie), but he’s got a solid enough foothold on tumblr that ive seen more hate towards the fans that the cc, here. which makes sense, given how we take over the tag almost ever day when he logs on. genuine o7 to people who find that obnoxious but thats one of the reasons i overtag so much, for blocking purposes.

anyway i think all the bbh mischaracterization means that we just need to write about him more >:D please this is a call for more bbh centric fics from people who do not hate him/know a little bit about his lore. blease he’s such a fun pov to write i promise

#discourse #<- discussion of it anyway #idk maybe people are spreading lies over here too but i block anyone who doesnt filter their neg/go out of their way to make bad faith #arguments.#i think ita REALLY interesting how seeing all the hate towards bad had me finding myself saltier towards other fans/creators too #so i can understand why these vent fics are being put out yknow sometimes its just really fun to hate a guy #but that’s what neg tags and bashing [character] tags on ao3 are for #on tw/itter where a lot of this gets spread you dont really. Have that #dont mind me ive just been ruminating on this a bunch the past two weeks #ive never been so active in a fandom where discourse had the opportunity to actually reach me #its been p interesting to observe how thats effected the way i say and clarify things #<- rhats the main point of my other post ig because if my gifter is someone who has been seeing nothing but bbh neg after bbh neg comes her #*here and sees me swooning about bbh’s ‘only egg protector’ and ‘no one helps him’ complexes Getting Worse during the end of purgatory #then they dont have the context that im doing so strictly for fun and not putting it on other characters/blaming them for not also swooning #we have media literacy in this house i promise #i would like more characters to have flaws and feel alone and commit incredible sins #anyway. excusez-moi im verbose when im tired and procrastinating #anonymous #shape answers

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