#am i really one to judge? no. because again. i dont know.

[shdwtouch]

not me openly admitting that shade lowkey takes after me. this was not intentional, I swear. uwu; she kinda just... ended up with an extra dose of who I am as a person, whereas most of my original characters receive much less.

I realized this when considering that shade is most likely homo leaning. and I was like, haha she's just like me ! an enby ace lesbian... and then the similarities just kept getting drawn. idk maybe I'm just overly tired.

also like. not gonna apologize ? she really isn't a self-insert. but its also like... creators are allowed to put themselves into what they make ! and I'm proud of shade, I really am. so I won't be made ashamed for traits we might share.

[iwakuraz]

it'll all be okay because there's only one more day left in the school week and after that it'll be the weekend. wait no what do you mean after the weekend I'll just have to go back to school? what do you mean the cycle of going to school and coming back home completely worn out is gonna continue?

[dullahandyke]

i look at some of u guys talking abt a new show u watched or a new thing u read and im like. holy shit thats a thing u can do. im in awe of u. i spend my time slowly ping-ponging between several interests whose base componants i can never experience because i get scard

[collecting--stardust]

This semester's summary: existential crisis, existential crisis, existential crisis

[i-cant-sing]

TT AU PART 13

Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Part 8 is here. Part 9 is here. Part 10 is here. Part 11 is here. Part 12 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

"I cant do this."

He rolls his eyes. "Not with that attitude." He runs a hand through his hair before nodding at you to follow him. You both enter the dance studio that his grandfather built for his wife inside the house because he loved her and well, he had the money.

"Silas, no one can learn ballet in a month." You state again and he lets out an exhale while Cadbury is bringing in about a dozen of ballet flats. "Even if your grandmother were to try and teach me, I still wont be good enough to perform in front of the queen-"

"Your voice is shrill and piercing and thoroughly unpleasant."

You blink at him before scowling. "A simple "shut up" would suffice, you know."

Silas glances at you. "What is this really about? Are you pretending to have low self esteem so I could offer you sympathy?"

"Excuse me?" Your tone sharpened. "Not that I like to remind anyone of the favours I do, but maybe you have forgotten that I literally saved your social image and status from being tarnished yesterday? Or did you forget about our Nikkah?"

Silas suddenly leaned down, bringing his face close to yours. You backed away, and he tilted his head slightly. "And I'm eternally grateful for that, missus, but the Nikkah saved your image too. Must I remind you that I converted to Islam too?"

"Because it benefitted you, not me." You spat out, only to inhale sharply as he gripped your chin firmly.

"As is the stipend I've been paying you, yet you fail to write a single article on the murders."

He pouted, feigning hurt. "Besides, are you saying I am not a real Muslim? That I have malicious intentions? Doesnt that go against your teachings- what is it? Not to judge someone?"

"I dont need to judge when its all so apparent-"

"Ah, good to see the love birds again!" Sarah's voice made you two pull away from each other. She clasped her hands as she made her way towards you two.

"Nana." Silas greeted her and kissed her cheeks. "Thank God you're here. My sweetheart is so concerned over this performance, even though I've assured her many times that she will be learning from the best. There's just no way she would mess this up!"

Sarah laughed heartily. "Stop buttering me up! And she is right to be concerned. Anyone would be nervous to perform in front of an audience, especially the queen!"

Silas wrapped one arm each around your and Sarah's shoulders, pulling you two close to him. "I only see a queen and a princess here. There's no need to be nervous. Just have fun!"

Just have fun? What kind of bullshit motivation is that-

Sarah smiled and nodded. "He's right, Y/n. As long as you're having fun, you're going to be just fine darling!"

-

Colin never thought he'd have to resort to day drinking.

And yet here he is, adding whatever he could grab his hands on and fill the flask with and mixing it in his coffee.

I need this. He reasoned with himself. Its not that much, just small doses to keep me sane when Y/n comes.

And then you do, in your Sherlock Holmes disguise, cheerfully greeting him before going to Will's office to work on the murder story.

He takes another sip of his coffee as he tries to process... well, everything.

Why was I attracted to you? Why am I still attracted to you even though I acted as a witness to your wedding with that rich bastard-

Another sip. He scowled before adding some more liquour, then he sipped it. Better.

Whats the best way to get over a crush? Crush? Is that what you were? An infatuation, a passing by fancy? So, how do I get over-

Wait. He set his mug down. You know that he and the boys all know that your marriage to Silas is a sham. You never really hid the fact but now they had all witnessed that it was just a rushed, possibly contractual marriage that Silas wants to save his ass.

So the marriage is bound to end. He doesnt have to get over you. No, not really. If anything, I should be spending more time with you. Yes. Yes! This way, when you and Silas end things, Colin will be right there to comfort you and support you! He needs to be the first man there after you dump Silas, lest anyone else gets ideas and wants to marry you as well.

Colin got up and managed to make his way to his boss's office without bumping into anyone. He's going to ask to work on the murder story and then you two will spend time-

"No. Keep working on the asylum story. We have enough people on the murder case." His boss dismissed him.

Colin slumped in his desk as he looked at the coffee mug. Eh, what the hell? He took another sip and another solution popped in his head.

If he cant help you with the murder story, then perhaps you can help him with the asylum story!

-

Silas handed you the invite.

"How did you get it so fast?" You asked, examining the small paper with elegant writing. It was the invite to the Gentleman's club, the one Henry owns. You'd asked Silas to get you an invite to what was an exclusive, members only club (when you tried entering the club, the men at the front laughed you out.)

Silas looked at you unamused, with his arms crossed over his chest. "Must I remind you who I am?"

A pompous ass?

"Of course not, my duke." You said mockingly, before raising a brow at him. "I suppose it would make sense for you to get easy access to shady places like this. You might be their popular customer."

"Oh darling, I'm popular everywhere." Silas shot back before dismissing you with his hand. "You can go now."

"What? You arent going to ask me why I'm going there?" You asked him. "Maybe you dont care that I am going there, but arent you worried about Mrs Fitzgerald or Duchess Y/n being in a place like that?"

Silas shrugged nonchalantly. "No." He leaned back in his chair. "I trust you not to screw up or entangle yourself in scandals. But even if you do end up in trouble, I will stand by you."

"You will?" You couldn’t hide the disbelief in your tone.

He nodded. "Of course. Look, I know we are in this... unconventional relationship and it appears that I couldnt care less about your existence, but you still carry my surname next to yours. And I wont allow anyone to disrespect what or who is associated with me. So, rest assured-" He leans forward, resting his arms on the mahogany desk and clasped his hands. "you have my support in all your endeavours, Mrs Silas."

A small smile formed on your lips. Maybe he's not so bad.

"Thank you, Silas- oh, can you drop me off there?" You knew he was going to leave in the carriage soon.

"No, I dont want my beautiful, pure bred stallions to go through those dirty streets. You can walk."

Jerk.

You stomped out of his study, not noticing the butler going in after you with the dessert you'd made for yourself last night.

"And what's this?" Silas asked him as he took a bite of the decadent, gooey chocolatey dessert.

"Uh, the duchess called it "brown-ies", but I've never heard of it before." Cadburry watched Silas ate it and sighed dreamily. "Do you like it, sir?"

"No." Silas pushed the empty plate towards him. "But I'd rather not have grandmother eat her cooking and say something. Bring me the leftovers."

"Y/n- oh, are you going somewhere?" Sarah asked just as you were about to leave.

"Yes, um- I'm going to meet my friends." Its not like you could tell her that you worked in the paper disguised as a man.

"Male friends?" She asked.

"Yes. My old flatmates." You watched her smile falter. "What?"

"Nothing, dearie. Enjoy your time with them! I hope you'll join us for dinner." You nodded and left while Sarah looked for her grandson.

"Where's Silas? I must speak to him this instant." She asked the maid, who informed her that the duke had went to play tennis just moments ago.

"Tennis?"

The maid nodded. "Yes. With his uncles."

Sarah was a little surprised to hear that. Not the tennis part, no. Silas is extremely well at any sport he plays, but she knows her sons arent ones who are good at athletics, let alone at a sport as strenuous as tennis.

An idea popped in her head.

-

You stood outside the Gentleman's club, watching people go in. Smoothing your hands over your black velvet dress, you made your way to the door.

After handing them your invitation, they let you inside and you saw a waiter handing everyone masquerade masks from a silver tray. Perhaps it was the theme for the club tonight, or maybe the club just gave masks to everyone to conceal their identities.

You were given a black and gold mask that covered the upper half of your face. As you adjusted the mask over your face, you heard a familiar voice.

"I need to see her. Now." You looked over your shoulder and saw Benjamin harshly whisper to one of the waiters. "She told me to come and I'm late as it is. Dont make her wait any longer!" You turned your head away as the waiter lead Benjamin into the club, all while Benjamin yanked a mask off the tray and pulled it over his head.

What is Benny doing here?

You quickly followed him inside, lest you lost sight of him, which you did as soon as you stepped into the main hall and were immediately stunned to your place at the sight.

Loud jazz music played by a band live, smell of smoke and alcohol filled the air and people. There were so many people, despite the club being "exclusive". And as your eyes scanned them, trying to spot familiar faces, your heart dropped at the realisation of what they were doing.

This was... an adult club. That kind of adult club, the one where there are absolutely no limitations on who is doing what with whom, all drunk on pleasure and drugs of course, no inhibitions. You spotted men with men, women with men, and more than one person pleasing another man.

Thats why this is an exclusive club, why they gave everyone masks. Because if word got out that a someone was here doing.... something that was generally a taboo and even punishable by both God and the law, well it would put them in huge trouble. People came here to let loose, to give in to their darkest desires.

What the hell is Benny doing here?

Averting your eyes, you looked for Benjamin and spotted him from afar, going into a room.

Oh God, please dont let it be a- please dont let sweet Benny be a depraved creep.

You waited for him to come out and after about 20 minutes, the door finally opened.

Benny walked out first, adjusting his mask again and then leaving. You're about to follow him, perhaps even confront him for being here when someone else walks out of the room as well.

A tall woman wearing a bright red, backless dress and a golden mask concealing her identity. But what really stood out were two things- first, her fiery red-orange hair that was styled into voluminous Hollywood waves. And second was her figure, her athletic built, or more specifically her broad shoulders and muscled arms.

Everything about this woman screamed important. And if it werent for her looks that demanded attention, then it was certainly her aura. People parted the way when she walked past them, all looking at her as if she was their saviour, an angel or divinity among men, which is ironic considering where you were.

You jumped as you felt an arm snake around your waist.

"What the hell?!" You looked at the culprit, who turned out to be a blonde woman drunk off her head.

"Oh dont be like that! Come on, love, let me show you a good time-" She tried to touch you again but you backed away before she could.

"No, thank you." You dismissed her, going back to looking at the red head.

"Prude." The blonde muttered before following your gaze. "Oh so thats what you're into? Well, put me in a red wig and we can play like that!"

"No, thanks." You huffed, eyes still trained on the woman in red.

The blonde scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Well, its not like you'd be able to sleep with the club owner."

"She's the club owner? I thought Mr Blackwood owned this place."

"He does, but Lady Scarlett there runs this place, from entertainment to management. She does it all!"

Lady Scarlett? Fitting name.

Pushing away the blonde one more time, you looked for Lady Scarlett, except you lost sight of her now. You scanned the entire ballroom, but she was nowhere in sight.

"Shit." You mumbled, turning around only to stumble back as you came face-to-face with her, or well... face-to-chest. She towered over you.

Her bright red lips smiled knowingly at you. "Looking for me?" She asked in a sultry voice, stalking towards you until you were backed up against the wall.

"N-no-" You yelped as she suddenly grabbed both of your wrists in one hand and pinned them above your head.

You stared at her wide eyed as she leaned down, hovering inches away from your face and thats when it hit you-

Lady Scarlett is a man.

Of course! The muscled arms, the manly built, and now on close inspection, you saw the clean shave under the makeup too.

"Y-you're a man." You stated in disbelief, hoping to catch her or him, off guard. What even is he? A drag queen? A trans? You dont know if they existed in victorian era.

Scarlett tilted her head. "So? Are you the only one who is allowed to cross dress as the other gender?"

What? No, no way she knows-

She leaned in closer, whispering in your ear. "Did I catch you off guard, Mr Holmes?"

She knows!

"How- how did you-"

She smirked. "I know everyone that is associated with Mr Blackwood." She brought a hand up to your face, and you noticed a golden ring on her ring finger. She cupped your face. "And I know for a fact Henry wouldnt like his latest infatuation snooping around in a place like this. So..." She leaned into you again, staring into your eyes. "Leave."

You didnt have to be told twice. Lady Scarlett, that cross dresser creeped you out, even more so when she already knew you.

Stumbling out of the club, you removed your mask, dropping it to the ground. The fresh night air filled your lungs and cleared out the smokey air from the club. It was quiet outside, considering it was way past midnight and everyone was home now.

And I have to walk all the way home. You huffed, rubbing your arms. Because my husband would rather I get hypothermia than let his precious ponies walk through these streets.

You turn around, walking away from the club to see if there was a carriage available at this time, when you hear a shrill scream from the alleyway you're walking past.

And there it is- a woman lying in a puddle of her own blood as huge, dark figure slashed her face over and over again. The moonlight hit the woman's face- a blonde woman-

-the blonde from the club.

Frozen in your place, the figure stood up and looked at you, not at all looking startled at being caught mutiliating someone. It was definitely a man, huge stature, and he stared at you, the dark night concealing his identity. He slowly bent down to pick something up, a top hat, dusting it off before placing it on his head.

And then he tipped his hat at you.

What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck-

It wasnt until he took a step towards you that you finally broke out of your trance and ran. You ran and ran, not even risking a look back, not realising where you were running off to until you burst through their door, out of breath and paler than white paint.

"Y/n?" Colin rushed towards you, the Shepherd and Liam rushing into the living room as Colin helped you inside. "What happened? What's wrong?" He feared, as did all the boys, that Silas had done something to you.

"I- I- I-" You shake your head, the image of the dark figure running through your mind, the hat, the long cloak, the knife- it finally pieced together.

"I think I saw Jack the Ripper."

-

You sat at the police station with Colin. After explaining everything, he'd convinced you to report the murder.

The detective lead you inside the interrogation room, motioning for you to sit down as you began giving your statement.

"And who did you think the murderer was?"

"Jack the Ripper." Your answer made him roll his eyes. "And who might that be, miss?"

"I dont know." The investigator shook his head exasperated. "Of course you dont." He muttered, then sighed.

"So, what were you doing at this club?"

"Me?" You didnt pause for long. "I was invited there. My- my husband wanted me to attend on his behalf."

"Your husband-" he paused, reading your surname on the paper. "Fitzgerald? Wait, you're Mrs Silas Fitzgerald?" You nodded, making him sigh. "Guess it makes sense for you to be there..."

Whats that supposed to mean?

"Did you see anyone familiar there?"

"No." You answered curtly, before adding another detail. "Everyone was wearing masks. Couldnt recognise anyone even if I wanted to."

What? I'm not gonna rat out Benjamin and make him the prime suspect without gathering all the facts before.

It's definitely not because I have a soft spot for him since he reminds me of Qasim so much. Nope.

The door suddenly swung open and in walked what you assumed was the detectives superior since the man got up.

"Is this the witness for club murder?" The higher up asked him.

"Yes sir, she was just giving her statement-"

"No need. Dismiss the witness and the case. It's been handled." He told the detective who only nodded.

"Handled by who? You can't just dismiss the case!" You exclaimed getting up. But before he could reply, someone walked in from behind him.

"You can go now, Smith. I'll see Miss Y/n gets home safely." Henry patted the higher ups shoulder who left with the detective.

"What are you doing, Henry?" You crossed your arms.

"I could ask you the same." He leaned against the doorway, crossing his arms as well.

"I'm reporting a murder that happened outside your club! I saw him-"

"Saw who? Jack the Ripper?" He scoffed. "You think you saw him, but all you really saw was a dark shadow."

You shake your head. "I did see him-!"

"And how do you know that he's Jack the Ripper?" He pushed himself off the door frame, walking closer to you. "How do you know that he's the Ripper when no one knows who the man is?!"

You pursed your lips. You could argue that the victim profile and post mortem show a matching pattern but you doubt Henry is going to listen to reason.

"Even so, you should still let me give my statement. Why are you adamant on me not giving one? A woman was murdered for God's sake!" You try to walk past him, but he grabs your arm and yanks you back, making your chest collide with his.

"She was my employee. She worked for the club. And you-" his face hardened. "-you are insulting her death by making it a public frenzy. By stating that some sick nobody, someone who was nicknamed by the papers just to strike fear in people's hearts, killed her. I will not let you use her death so that your paper could make a quick buck! Jack the Ripper is a nobody!"

-

"Why do you think Blackwood's trying to cover up the murder?" Colin asked you as you two made your way towards your next destination.

"I dont know." You huffed. "Maybe he knows who the murderer is? Maybe he's protecting his business? Surely, if people were to hear that a serial killer made an appearance near his club, he'd lose clients."

"Or maybe he's the killer." You stopped and looked at him. Colin looked at you knowingly. "It would make sense for him to be Jack the Ripper, or at least the man who murdered that woman. It is very suspicious of him to probably bribing the coppers to drop the case."

You shake your head. "Its too obvious."

He rolled his eyes. "What? So Henry cant be the murderer because its “too obvious?” People make mistakes-"

"Not Henry." You cut him off. "He's too smart, calculating. There's got to be another reason for him to be sweeping this all under the carpet."

Colin shakes his head in disbelief, shoving his hands in his pockets as he looked ahead. "We're here."

You followed his gaze and saw the building. The sign on the gate read-

"Aveline's Asylum"

"Really? Right now?" You asked Colin, who just smiled cheekily.

"It'll take your mind off things. Just take a break and help me on this assignment and we can go back to speculating what Blackwood's motives are." He raised his brows. "Plus, I think you'll enjoy this one."

You followed him inside the asylum, walking through the lush green gardens and seeing the pristine white building ahead, you wondered how this would help Colin's "exposing horrendous hospital environments and patient care" article when all of this reall just screamed "rehab for the rich".

"Shouldnt we go to an asylum that is in much worse conditions than this? Possibly next to a workhouse?" You asked him, but Colin just smiled. "Why did you choose this place, Colin?”

"You'll see." He says before whispering to you. "Remember your script. And... action!”

While pretending to be insane (which was easy because all you had to say was that you don’t think being a mom or stay-at-home wife is your life’s purpose), you saw a familiar figure there. And he saw you too.

“Y/n? Colin?” Benjamin looked surprised. “What are you two doing here?”

“Working on an article.” Colin replied, glancing at the way you’d gotten quiet, staring at Benjamin.

“Oh. Right, the horrible healthcare environment. But why this place? Its practically one of the finest asylums, housing mostly the wealthy of London.”

Colin nodded. “I know! But I have a hunch about this place-”

“What are you doing here?” You cut him off.

“Me? Oh, I’m here to give haircuts.” Ben chuckled nervously. “Its not a noble cause, but the wealthy unwell patients do pay a lot.”

“Mmhm, where’s your hair kit?” You remember distinctly that Ben was very particular about using his own scissors, so he often carried his own.

Ben looked caught off-guard by your question, but he quickly recovered. “The nurses provided me with their own. Cant carry scissors around an asylum now, can I?”

How convenient.

Colin continued to make small talk with Ben, while you studied him. Even if you didn’t tell anyone that you saw Ben at the club the night of the murder, doesn’t mean that you didn’t suspect him. For all you know, appearances can be deceiving and this sweet man may just be the infamous Jack the Ripper.

Blonde haired, the kindest eyes, the sweetest smile, a golden retriever in human form- could Benjamin really have killed all those women so brutally? Then again, Ted Bundy was also known for his good looks and superficial charm.

Am I really comparing Benny to Ted Bundy? God, I hope I’m wrong.

“I should go now. See you at home?” Ben asked you, hopeful.

“Maybe.” You shrugged, Ben’s smile faltering at your answer. He then raised his hand to shake Colin’s and thats when you noticed a distinctly familiar golden ring on his hand.

The same one you’d seen on Lady Scarlett’s hand.

And just like that, everything fell into place.

-

By the time you’d reached home, you’d pieced out the story. Ben being at the exclusive club and being discrete about it, seen in a room with Lady Scarlett, both wearing the same rings-

He’s in a relationship with her. Or him.

Thats why Ben was at that club! Homosexuality or anything else that isn’t heterosexuality was simply not accepted in Victorian England, and was possibly punishable by law! Just look at Oscar Wilde! Ben is dating Scarlett, keeping it discrete, he never committed any murders because he’s not Jack the Ripper. He’s just not straight!

Oh, I’m so glad you’re not the Ripper, Benny. I knew you weren’t capable of committing such heinous crimes.

As for why he was at the asylum, maybe he’s telling the truth. He did come to give the rich patients a haircut because he needs the money to maintain Scarlett’s lifestyle or maybe be rich enough to whisk her/him away from the club.

Benny is such a gentleman.

Now that Benny is no longer a suspect, that leaves Henry to be the main suspect. Maybe he’s not the one killed the woman, maybe he hired someone? Or maybe Henry’s not the killer either, its just too- obvious.

“Why do you think Henry stopped me from reporting the murder?” You asked Silas as you whisked the eggs before adding them to the pan. Silas had entered the kitchen the moment he heard you were cooking, though he did shoot you a weird look for making scrambled eggs at 11 pm. With you running around London all day, you hadn’t found time to eat until now, and you were just looking for a quick meal really.

“He probably doesn’t want you scaring off his customers. If word gets out that a murderer, or as you claim- “The Ripper” was seen near the club, then people wont be frequenting the place. Or perhaps he’s protecting the murderer?” Silas suggests, swallowing as the smell of butter wafts through the kitchen.

You add cubes of cold butter in, then look at him. “What? You don’t believe that I saw the Ripper?”

“I believe that if you really saw the Ripper, then you wouldn’t still be alive. He had the time and the opportunity to get rid of you.Why else would the notorious killer would let a witness get away?” Silas crosses his arms over his chest, leaning against the kitchen counter near the stove.

“Maybe because he targets prostitutes? All of his previous victims match that profile.”

“Like he could tell a difference-”

“Are you saying I look like a prostitute?” You dished out the eggs. “No, you’re saying that. I’m saying that the man you saw kill that woman was just an amateur who was caught offguard by you, otherwise he would’ve attacked you too.” Silas states before grabbing the plate of buttery scrambled eggs on toast from your hands.

“Hey! Thats mine-” “My kitchen, my eggs.” He smirked before walking off. “You can make yourself more, I need to feed my dogs first.”

You glared at him until he left the kitchen, not knowing whether he really was going to feed it to the dogs or it was just a lie disguised as an insult so that he could eat it himself.

It was the latter. Always.

-

The next day, after you’d taken another ballet lesson from Sarah, you were about to go out to investigate the club again but Sarah had other plans for you.

“Y/n, I need you to stay at home today.”

“Oh, is everything alright?” You ask. She never made you stay home before. “Are we having company?”

“No. I think that you should play some sports to keep yourself fit. As a ballerina, it is important to keep both the mind and the body sound, and what better way to achieve that than by playing in the sun!” She lead you outside towards the tennis court, hidden by the huge bushes for privacy from outsiders.

“Tennis?” You ask her, and she confirms it. “Yes. Do you know how to play?”

Do I know how to- if I wasn’t so obsessed with history and sciences (and my mom scared that me wearing a skirt would attract predators), I had plans on playing professionally. Qasim and I used to play tennis at the club he’d won a membership in. We were both very competitive but he was just always a little better than me. He always knew my moves, he read me like an open book.

I was second only to Qasim though. Everyone else? They ate dust.

“Yes, I do.” You smiled at her. “Who am I playing with?”

“Me.” Silas spoke from behind you, dressed in all-white tennis wear. He looked at Sarah unamused. “Nana, I thought you said you had a worthy opponent for me.”

You shot him a glare, but Sarah came to your defense. “Now, now. You don’t know how capable your wife is. And I’m willing to bet that she’d make you run out of breath, Silas.”

You smiled cheekily as Silas scoffed. “We’ll see.” Sarah places a hand on your back. “Why don’t you go get changed, dear? I had the maids prepare an outfit for you.” When you left, Sarah looked at Silas. “Now Silas, I know you play exceptionally well but you must remember that this match is more of a way to spend time with your wife. Not a way to show off. So, be a gentleman, hm?”

You huffed as you returned to the tennis court. What the hell is this? Silas gets to wear a shirt and pants and I have to wear a full length dress with a corset and a hat?!

Mom would probably have let me gone pro if this was the official tennis wear for women.

Sarah sat on the side lines and watched you two play. Silas let you serve first and after a couple of back-and-forth, you won the first point. And then the next. And the next.

“Ah, you’re doing fantastic, Y/n!” Sarah cheered before standing up when the butler informed her that a guest has come to see her. “I’ll be back! You two keep playing!”

As Sarah left, you couldn’t help but tease Silas. What? He still makes you sleep on the floor! “So, how does it feel to lose to a girl?”

“I wouldn’t know.” And with that, Silas threw the ball in the air and served.

The ball shot past your head, just centimetres away from hitting you.

“What the hell? I wasn’t ready-”

“Lame excuses dont work on me.” He pulled out another ball and bounced it. “Are you ready now, duchess?”

You scowled at him before getting in position. “I’m ready, jerk.”

You lost two of the three matches. The first match you almost won was because Sarah was there and Silas was going easy on you, but when Sarah left, Silas regained all those points by serving topspin and slice serves. By the second match, you were finally able to return his fast serves, but now Silas used his speed and your lack of because of your heavy dress and made you run around all over the court trying to return his fast shots. By the third match, you were all out of breath but not out of determination. So, Silas decided that now would be the time to use your body as target practise and he hit the ball over your legs and arms, only stopping when one shot hit you in the head and made you fall on the ground.

“Are you okay?” He asked, barely suppressing the glee in his voice. He held out a hand to help you up, but you swatted it away and got up on your own.

“Finish the game.” You growled and he raised his hands in surrender before returning to his side of the court. For the rest of the third match, he missed all the shots you served and let you win. And he did it so openly, not even being courteous enough to hide his intentions.

Sarah watched you return inside the house, looking all sweaty and angry as you stomped unto your room. Silas trailed in behind, a satisfied grin on his face and Sarah shook her head at him disappointedly. “What did you do, Silas?”

“Nothing. I even let her win the last round, but she’s still angry.” Sarah looked at him admonishingly, making him sigh. “Fine, fine. I’ll go talk to her. The things I do for you, Nana.”

“The things you do for love, Silas.” She corrected him.

Sure. Silas rolled his eyes mentally. I “love” Y/n.

Silas entered the bedroom and saw you had showered and changed into new clothes. “Going somewhere? Perhaps to get some handkerchiefs to wipe all the sweat and tears?” He watched you glare at him through the mirror and he chuckled, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, I’m sorry. I’m just teasing. But seriously, where are you going? I could give you a ride.”

“I’m going to an asylum with Colin.” You huff, packing some things in your small purse. Silas nodded. “Good idea to get yourself finally checked-” He dodged the hairbrush you threw at his head, chuckling. “Now now, duchess. It isn’t exactly speaking much for your mental health for you to be chucking things at your dear husband.”

Ignoring his antics, you slipped on your shoes, walking out of the room. He trailed behind you. “Dont be mad. I’m just playing around. Come on, I’ll drop you off at Saint Peters asylum. Its on my way to work.”

“I’m not going to Saint Peters. I’m going to Aveline’s.” You stated, ready to walk off but he grabbed your arm.

“What?” You looked at his shocked face. “What?” You repeated his question. Why did he suddenly look so pale.

“Where are you going?” He asked, his grip tightening when you tried to move. “Which asylum?”

“Aveline’s.” You frowned, grabbing his hand and removing it from your arm. Silas expression paled further.

“Why?”

You shrugged. “Colin wants to do an article on horrible asylum conditions and treatment of patients-”

“Dont.” Silas ordered more than he suggested. “That place- don’t go there.”

“And why not?” You looked at him skeptically. “Colin wants to do a piece on the place-”

“Pick another asylum. I can get you access to any other.” Silas ignored your question, averting his eyes. “You will not go there, and you will not write a piece on that asylum.”

You grabbed his arm to make him look at you. “What are you hiding, Silas?”

Silas stared at you before yanking his arm out of your grasp. “I don’t have to explain myself to you. Just- do as I say.” He raised finger, wagging it at your warningly. “I’m telling you- you will not go there again, Y/n. And if I find out that you or Colin or anyone else tried to write about that place, I will shut down that paper and make sure none of them find a job ever.”

You watched Silas leave you there standing dumbfounded.

Did he really just threaten me?

This bitch.

-

Silas watched you leave from the window. He knows you wont listen to him, knows that its inevitable to try to stop you from going to Aveline, so he already sent someone to bribe the staff to not let you on the asylum premises. He’s not worried about who you’re meeting or where you’re going, just as long as its not Aveline.

No. He closed his eyes, painful memories flashing through his mind. You cant know. You cant know.

He sat down on his chair, trying to think of ways to divert your attention from the asylum. You’re as stubborn as a mule, you wont listen to him. So he has to create distractions for you.

Jack the Ripper!

Of course, the murder case!

“Cadburry!” He called his butler. “Arrange me an invite for the Gentleman’s club. Now.”

You were sitting in the boys apartment, Benjamin playing with your hair out of habit, braiding it, unbraiding it, then braiding it again. Colin sat confused. “Why cant we go to the asylum today?”

“I’m not in the mood to see depressing white halls today. Besides, I have an errand to run.” You lean your head further back for Benny.

“And what that might be?” Colin was intrigued.

“Girly errand. You wont understand.” You dismiss him. “But we’ll go to Aveline’s again, thats for sure.” You felt Benny tug your hair at that statement.

“Ow! Benny!” You glare at him. Ben shakes out of his daze, apologising profusely. “Sorry, sorry! I was just lost in my thoughts.”

A coy smile formed on your lips. Lost in thought? Oh, I know exactly what kind of thoughts you’re having, Benny.

Colin stood up with a sigh. “Alright then. I’ll go to office and start writing down a draft.” You nodded as he left you alone with Ben.

Once you heard the door click, you immediately turned around. “Hey, Benny.”

He gave you a gentle smile. “Hey, Y/n.”

“So…” you wiggled your brows at him. “What’s going on with you?”

“Hmm… nothing much really. I got a new customer who wanted a toupee. Apparently word got around that I’m a very skilled barber, no matter how much hair one has or lack of, I can make it work!”

“Yes, thats lovely Benny, but-” you cleared your throat. “I meant, whats going on with you, personally. You look happier, livelier these days.”

He shrugged, offering you another sweet smile. “I guess that’s just the effect you have on people around you.”

Ugh! Stop being so charming, Benny!

“Thanks, Benny. But… I don’t know, I feel like there’s something different about you.” You tried another approach. “You know you can tell me anything, right? I wont ever judge you or anything.”

Though he was smiling, you saw something flicker in his eyes. Doubt? Fear?

“What do you mean, Y/n?” He asked, his voice stable as usual.

Your eyes studied him.

“Did you meet someone new?”

There it is! That flicker in his eyes. His face didn’t let anything away but his eyes, you saw it.

“Yes.” Finally, we’re getting somewhere. “I met you.”

Stupid Benny. Annoying Benny.

Sighing, you realise that maybe he’s just not ready to come out yet. And that I shouldn’t take it personally because I am close with him and he could tell me anything, just like Qasim would. It would be unfair to force Ben to tell you about Lady Scarlett before he’s ready.

“Thanks, Benny.” You said, hiding your disappointment. “I have to go now. Have to go… run that errand.”

“Oh, need me to come?” He got up with you. You shake your head. “No, I’ll manage on my own.”

Why would I tell you when you wont tell me about your love?

-

You were now standing outside the club again. You had initially returned to the back alley to investigate the crime scene again but it had been scrubbed clean and Henry had somehow managed to get a permit to start construction to expand the club further.

He was erasing the crime scene. Henry was trying to hide something.

Speak of the devil, you saw Henry exit the club and get in his carriage. Once you were sure he’d left, you made your way towards the club entrance, still having the invite from last time, only for the guards to stop you.

“I’m sorry but Mr Blackwood has forbidden you from entering the club, Miss Y/n.” One guard said, holding a hand up to halt you.

“Mrs Fitzgerald.” You corrected him, hoping to use the name to get by. “I am the duchess of Westminster!”

“Forgives us, Miss Y/n, but Mr Blackwood specifically instructed us to not let you in and he also instructed us not to address you by anything but Miss Y/n or- um…” The other guard trailed off, making you narrow your eyes at him.

“Or?” You sneered at him to continue.

“Or… future-Mrs Blackwood.” He mumbled but you heard him loud and clear.

I’m going to kill him.

“Listen here and listen clear!” Your voice took a threatening tone, though you’re sure it would look comical to an outsider seeing a woman of your stature trying to intimidate men who were towering over you with their buff physiques.

“I am going to only be addressed as MRS FITZGERALD and you will let me in this club right now or I will have my husband, the duke of Westminster, shut this place down before your twat boss would dare to associate his name with me again!” You yelled with your nostrils flared. “Now, you will march in and inform Lady Scarlett that I’m here to see her. And if she says no, tell her I know about the rings!”

The guards shared a look, probably trying to communicate telepathically whether to let you in or not.

Fortunately for you, your huffing and puffing seemed to work and one of them walked in before returning moments later.

“Please wait for a short while Lady Scarlett entertains some guests.”

After about 20 long minutes, during which you were sure Henry would turn up and have you carried off the premises, the guards finally lead you inside.

“This way, future Mrs Blackwood.” You shot him a glare but didn’t say anything since you were inside the club anyways. They lead you up the stairs towards the room that you had seen Ben go into the last time you were here.

The door opened and you saw a large bed on one side, silk sheets and plush cushions adorning it, and a huge vanity in the other corner, full of makeup and expensive jewels, all arranged in an orderly manner. Then there was a table next to the vanity on which sat a variety of beautiful red haired wigs.

“They’re made from real hair.” A voice said from behind you. You turned to see Lady Scarlett, wearing a maroon robe and a black mask covering her identity. Her trademark red hair, still styled as beautifully as the first time you saw it and that bright red lipstick on her lips. “Benjamin was sweet enough to get them for me.”

She walked past you and sat down on a couch next to the window that opened to the balcony outside, and then she lit up a cigarette, holding it in a vintage cigarette holder.

Not that I would ever condone a nasty habit such as smoking, but she looked absolutely badass in that moment.

“What do you want, Mrs Blackwood?” Scarlett let out a huge exhale of smoke.

“Fitzgerald. I know about the rings.” You state, watching her take another drag.

“What rings?” She asked, feigning innocence.

“The golden rings.” You narrow your eyes. “I saw it on your hand that night and I saw it on Benjamin’s hand as well. I know whats going on, and I’m here to talk about that.” Taking a deep breath, you blurted out your suspicions.

“I know you and Benjamin are in a relationship.”

She looked up at you expectedly, not at all alarmed at being caught. Then again, why would she be caught off guard? Considering the line of business she’s in, she probably has practiced her poker face.

“Is that so, Mrs Blackwood?” Scarlett’s lip’s curled up. “So what?”

So what?

“Look, I mean no harm, but I- I care about Benjamin a lot. He’s like family to me, and I know its not my place but I am very protective of him and I just… I’m just here to make sure that this is not some sort of game for you. I don’t want you playing with his feelings, so if you’re not serious about him then I suggest you end things with him now before it gets too messy.”

Scarlett looked at you before chuckling. “As you wish, Mrs Blackwood.” He stood up with a click of his tongue. “Now, is that all or do you have any more shocking news to pass on to me, Mrs Blackwood? I suggest you do it now because you wont be stepping a foot in this club again.”

“Its Mrs Fitzgerald. And I don’t plan on returning to this depraved scum either.”

“Depraved scum, huh?” Scarlett tilted her head slightly in a mocking manner. “Since you insist on calling yourself Mrs Fitzgerald so proudly, let me show you something as well.” He opened the door and lead you towards the top of the stairwell, from where you could see everyone and everything down below on the dance floor.

She nodded her head to the far right corner and your heart dropped for a second. Is that-

“Mr Fitzgerald seems to be enjoying himself. Though not all that much.” Scarlett said as your eyes remained focused on Silas who was sitting on a chair, looking uninterested by the different women who surrounded him. “Maybe he likes boys. I’ll send some his way-” You rushed out of the club, not able to hear another word or see Silas for another moment longer.

-

Its been a couple of days since you went to the club. Of course, when you arrived home and waited for Silas to return, who upon your questioning about his whereabouts claimed he was meeting a businessman.

He lied.

You tried to distract yourself by taking more ballet lessons from Sarah, but still your attention lingered on him.

Why was he there?

You then tried to divert your mind towards work, and then here you are, sitting on your desk with a blank paper, ready to be filled with words.

Why was he there?

Dropping your pen because you knew you weren’t going to be able to get anything done until you processed your feelings about this.

What feelings? Certainly not jealousy because I am far more mature than this. Its just-

I thought he had standards. Taste. Sure I might not be fine wine, but I’m certainly better than those skank-

Nope. I am a woman. I will not be bringing other women down because of a man.

But Silas… how dare he? Yes, how dare he?! I am not jealous, I am insulted! How dare he act like he’s a polished aristocrat and I’m just ditzy, poorer than a church mouse, a NOBODY, when he goes around prancing his repute and himself in the utter gutters of London?

Maybe he’s just hypersexual. Yes, he’s a depraved, disgusting individual and I married him. Great. So the first man I married, had a NIKKAH with, turned out to be lying, cheating, piece of-

Why did he lie?

Its not like he expects me to sleep with him. If he did, why would he still make me sleep on the floor?

Baldwin would’ve never made me sleep on the floor, always covered me with his cloak because he knew how much the cold bothered me.

And he’s always so rude to me! He beat me at tennis, quite literally!

Salauddin always lost to me in chess. And he let me rub my wins in his face too!

Not to mention, how uncaring he is to my feelings!

Ibrahim always put my happiness above everything. He chose to wait for me, until I was safe- felt safe.

And of all of them, I ended up marrying Silas.

How dare he?

Pushing yourself back into your desk, you began writing down furiously. Fuck Silas, fuck Henry, and fuck Lady Scarlett! I WILL go back to Aveline Asylum, I WILL expose the the Ripper and- if I have time, maybe find Benny a better significant other!

“Woah there- what are you writing?” Colin came up behind you, frowning at the title he read.

“The Ripper strikes again! Murder outside the exclusive club for the wealthy freaks!” Colin looked at you. “Have you gone bonkers?”

“Yes.” You snapped. “You cant talk me out of it, so why don’t you go and get us access into Aveline asylum again. Discreetly, this time.”

By the time everyone was going home, you had finished your article and dropped it on the editor’s desk just as he was about to leave.

“Read this. Trust me, its worth it.” You look over your shoulder. “And I have a witness ready to go public- Mrs Fitzgerald.” Of course, the editor wouldn’t ever figure out that you are Mrs Fitzgerald, not Mr Holmes.

-

However, you were a little surprised to see that he hadn’t published your article in the paper the next morning. Storming to work, you quickly made your way towards the editor’s office, barging in without knocking.

“Hello there, love.” He smiled cheekily. Instead of your editor, Henry Blackwood sat in his chair, his legs propped up on the desk. “I was waiting for you.”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“What? You can barge into my business, but I can’t swing by yours?” He asked, feigning hurt.

“No. Now leave.”

“Well then its a good thing that this is also my business now.” Henry grinned, removing his feet from the desk and replacing them with his arms, resting his head in his hand as he stared at your fuming self.

“What?”

“Oh love, you’re looking at your new boss. I just bought the paper this morning.” He winked, standing up and making his way to you. “See, I told you not to come by the club again, I told you to drop the Ripper case, and you didn’t listen either time. So, I’ve come here to tame you. Personally. Seems like you need my undivided attention, kitten-”

“I did drop the Ripper case. I didn’t give my statement to the police!” You exclaimed.

He tutted, wagging his finger at you. “No, but you did write an article. You’re lucky I was here before it got published.”

You frowned. “How- how did you know about the article? I wrote it yesterday, I gave it to the editor at the last moment-”

“I have eyes everywhere, Y/n.” He smirked, leaning down to whisper. “Especially on you, naughty kitten.”

Henry chuckled as he looked at your flushed face, mistaking your anger for bashfulness. He walked out of the door but not before passing another comment to tick you off.

“Nice moustache. Or shall I say… whiskers, kitten?”

-

For the next 3 days, you didn’t leave the house. You didn’t even leave your room. It seemed like all your previous pettiness-driven motivation had run out and dropped you into the well of depression. And here you wallowed in your sadness, taking Silas’s bed even when he was away and looking like a pitiful lump of sadness under the covers.

“What is wrong with you?” Silas asked, exasperated as he sat down on the bed to tie his shoes. “How long will this go on? You have missed your ballet classes and you are worrying grandmother.”

“I’m just sleepy, okay?” You mumbled from under the sheets. “Its not like sleeping on the cold, hard floor is helping me.”

“And it seems like sleeping in my bed hasn’t helped either.” He raised a brow. “Its been 3 days already. This has gone long enough. Now you can either tell me what is wrong or I will have Cadbury drag you out and hose you down in the gardens.”

You shoved the covers down to glare at him. Asshole. You don’t doubt that he would have his butler hose you down.

“I miss… I miss my brother.” You mumbled as you averted your eyes. “Qasim would fix everything for me. He always had a solution, always. And I- I need him right now. To guide me, to handle things for me.”

“So… why don’t you ask for his help?” Silas asked, fixing his tie.

You stared at his back before looking down at your lap. “We’re not on speaking terms… I’m mad at him.”

Silas rolled his eyes. “Well he’s your family, isn’t he? I’m sure you can still talk to him.”

“Cant.” You muttered gloomily, making Silas’s annoyance trigger off.

“And why the bloody hell not?” He turned to glare at you. “You cant get out of my bed! You cant attend work! You cant take your classes! You cant tell me what’s bothering you! And you cant talk to your own brother! Why!? Why?! WHY?!”

You flinched at his harsh town before tears filled your eyes.

“Because… he’s dead.”

Your statement rung in Silas’s ears like a daunting bell. Dead. Dead. Dead.

God, did he feel like shit now.

You threw the covers off you, getting out of bed as you fixed his sheets.

“Sorry for hogging your bed.” You sniffled, using your sleeve to wipe your tears as you walked past him, only for Silas to catch your wrist. With a gentle tug, he had you sitting back down on the bed.

“I’m sorry.” He said, sincerely. “I was just… frustrated due to things at work. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“Its fine, whatever. You’re right, I’ll go to work and classes-” He tightened his grip on your wrist when you tried to leave.

“No.” He tilted your chin towards him. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s wrong. I may not be your brother, but I am your husband.”

You stared at him conflicted. Did he really mean it?

He answered your silent question with a gentle squeeze of your hand. “I will fix your problems, Y/n.” He offered a smile. “Your duke is at your service.”

-

After you told Silas your work situation with Henry and how he’s stopping you from writing anything about Jack the Ripper, how you cant get anything done with his shadow looming over you and monitoring everything you do, Silas explained that solution to it was all simple.

“I will buy the paper from Henry.” He stated nonchalantly, as if he was talking about buying eggs not a newspaper company.

“I dont think he will give you the company. He wont put it up for sale-”

“Everything is for sale, Y/n. You just need to find the right price.” He stood up, assuring you he will buy the company. “I’ll get the company, if you promise to put on a great show. You focus on the ballet classes. After all, the show is only a week from now.”

The following seven days were filled with you doing ballet for hours and hours, all with one motivation.

Not to let Silas down.

Because if I let him down, if I embarrass him, then he wont get the paper from Henry. And I wont be able to find Jack the Ripper or help Colin with the asylum! And Silas will lose trust in me and wont let me have my space at the Westminster palace or wherever so that I can work on my time machine-

Time machine! You face palmed. I’ve been so busy with the murders and shitty men that I forgot to build my machine! My way home!

No, after the show, I’m- I’m demanding- I’m moving out. I don’t care if I get the paper or not, I need to build my machine.

“Oh Y/n, what are you doing in the storage- honey, are you alright? You look like you’re about to pass out! Cadbury! Hurry and open the windows!” Sarah guided you out of the dusty store to sit down, fanning you with her hands. “Oh dear, do you hate confined spaces like Silas too?”

You took deep breaths as fresh air flooded in through the windows, furrowing your brows. “What?”

“Nothing dear, I just thought you felt suffocated in closed spaces, like Silas!” She explained. “He cant stay in a room with closed windows for too long, you know.”

Now that she mentions it, she’s right. You don’t remember Silas being in a room without at least a window open, even as winter rolled around. Hell, he still opens the balcony windows in the bedroom as soon as he wakes up, but you thought that was because he hated your guts and wanted to give you an early wake up call by letting the cold air slap your face and rattle your bones.

“Why does he hate confined spaces?” You ask, letting her loosen your corset.

Sarah looked a little hesitant to tell you, but then relented when you asked her again. “He never told me the reason, but I figured it was the night when his mother passed away. Silas… he was just a young boy, he was hiding in his closet. He liked to scare his mother when she came to check on him, and so he often hid in the closet to give her a fright. He saw his mother get murdered while he was in the closet.” She looked down sadly. “Unfortunately, the killer’s identity was hidden by the dark night. Silas wasn’t able to identify who killed his mother, and I suppose he’s blamed himself a little for that incident.”

Damn. Thats… dark. And sad.

Maybe I can excuse Silas for being rude to me at times. Maybe. Just a tad.

The night of the ballet show rolled around quicker than you’d expected. And despite all the hours of practice and Sarah’s countless assurances that you’d be amazing, you knew the reality.

Your performance was barely passable.

From a young age, you were able to critique yourself very well. As Qasim said- “Only you know yourself the best!” And you knew right now, as you stood backstage, peeking through the curtains at the audience and spotting the queen and her family, you were utterly, truly set up for failure.

NO ONE CAN LEARN BALLET IN 2 MONTHS! AT LEAST NOT ENOUGH TO IMPRESS THE QUEEN!

Your stomach churned, you felt bile rise up your throat, your legs wobbled as you backed away from the curtain, stumbling away, right into Silas’s arms.

“Silas- Silas, I cant do this! I can’t! I can’t!” You cried out and Silas tightened his grip on your arms.

“Okay.”

Okay?

“What?”

“Okay. You cant do it.” He squeezes your shoulders. “I guess I’ll just tell everyone to go home. I’ll apologise to the queen and make up an excuse as to why she wont be seeing a performance by my wife tonight. But hey, she’s family. She’ll understand, right?”

You stared at him in confusion. Silas ran a hand through his fingers. “As for all the journalist who came here to write about you, and all the influential people I’ve invited over because this was your formal introduction into high society, I guess I’ll just have to make something up. But you-“ he gave you a warm smile that didn’t meet his eyes. “-you don’t worry your pretty little head over this. Its okay, I… well, if I’m being honest, I never really expected you to perform.”

“What?”

He shrugged. “I knew you’d back out at the last second. Oh well, what can we do. Now-” he rubbed his chin in thought. “Should I tell the guests that you’ve broken your leg? Or perhaps you cant perform because you’re with child? If we go with the first excuse, people may call you a ditz, maybe unprofessional. And they might come to check on you. But if we go with the second excuse, people will talk about- well, it has been only a month into our marriage-”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Is he… did he set you up?

“You expected me to not perform?” You asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“No, Y/n. I expected you to fail to deliver what I require of you. I expected you to perform in front of an audience, and that was all I asked. I didn’t ask you to become a prima donna, I just wanted you to be good enough. Which you are in my opinion. But your doubt in yourself right now is only because you clearly haven’t spent enough time practising because you were too busy running around town, going to clubs and asylums and chasing after a murderer when all of your attention should’ve been on becoming a competent wife!” Silas fumed, tightening his grip on your shoulders. “I asked you again and again to focus on the ballet lessons, and you ignored my advice repeatedly and for what? Because you wanted to prove yourself? Because you wanted to play detective and solve murders? When you cant even do a simple job as putting on a show? And I knew- I knew you would abandon me like this, so you know what, Y/n? While I keep my end of the bargain, while I invited Henry tonight to talk him into selling the paper to me, you continue to let me down. So go on stage or don’t, I really don’t give a shit now. I can’t take your word ever again.”

Silas stormed off, leaving you shell shocked backstage. You sat down on the steps, trying to control your breathing. How could he- how can he say all that to you?

Does he not understand the pressure you’re under? Does he not understand how hard all of this is for you?

You really thought that after you told him about Qasim, after he assured he that he would help you out, that he would fix your problems-

I thought he understood. I thought he had my back.

You let out a shaky exhale, rubbing your chest to ease your ache. Why is it so hard to breathe all of a second?

Tonight, you didn’t invite Colin or Benny or any of the boys, and it only hit you now how truly lonely you were. There’s no Colin. No Benny. No friends. No family. No Qasim. No… Silas.

“Ma’am? Ma’am, are you alright?” Cadbury looked alarmed as he spotted you looking shell shocked, struggling to breathe.

“I… I cant-” You couldn’t speak, and the butler quickly took your nervous, trembling form in and sprung into action.

“Here, duchess- ma’am, drink this.” He brought you a cup of tea. “It’ll calm the nerves, ma’am. Drink it.”

You let the bitter, warm liquid slide down your throat without a second thought.

“You’ll be alright now, ma’am. You’ll be all… right.” The butler assured you kindly, helping you stand up. In just a matter of seconds, your anxiety had melted away and was replaced with… unbridled confidence.

“What did I just drink?” The words slipped out as you felt your heart beat faster. Your eyes snapped towards Cadbury. “What did you give me?” The words came out quickly.

“Nothing special. Its just tea to calm you.” He said, ushering you up the steps towards the stage curtains. “Are you ready now, ma’am?”

Your eyes zeroed in on the white particles on his collar. Like powder.

“Is that snow?” If you weren’t so hyper focused on his collar, it would concern you how fast you were talking. “Is it snowing outside already?”

Cadbury looked down on his collar and suppressed a smile. “Yes, duchess. You could say that. Now- please return your attention to your performance. We are all rooting for you.”

“Not Silas.” You snapped again, your eyes looking at the dark curtains as you take your position. “Not that twat.”

Cadbury’s brows shot up in shock. “Ma’am-”

“I’ll show that twat.” And then the curtains opened.

-

Silas sat down in his seat with a satisfied sigh. Everything is going according to plan. You’re nervous and he just chewed you out so the stage will now be empty because you’ve ran off to cry a river, the royal family will once again be embarrassed as they happily welcomed Silas and his Muslim wife into the family (by making them the duke and duchess) and with all the journalists he invited, the news will now spread like wildfire that Silas rejected a princess, Queen Victoria’s daughter to marry an embarrasment.

The princess was one upped by a fool. A commoner. A failed ballerina.

Did Silas feel bad for you? Just a little, because he didnt like the way you looked at him, hoping for support, maybe even motivation, only for him to break your heart. Broken hearts can be mended, but broken reputations? Nope.

Besides, he’s sure that when he buys the company from Henry and give it to you, you’ll forget all about it! Everything will work out just as he’d planned-

What the hell?

The curtain opened and instead of being met with an empty stage like he’d planned, there you stood in your white tutu skirt, face completely devoid of any expression.

What are you doing?

The pianist began playing a tune he didn’t recognise. Sarah did tell him that of the three songs you had chosen, there was one she hadn’t heard ever before. You’d worked with the pianist to get the tune right, and at that time, he was impressed at how much work you were putting into this.

As the music played, you began dancing. From what his grandmother had told him, he was expecting soft, gentle, shy dance.

And yet you were doing anything but that. Your movements were strong, powerful, determined. You were nothing like the woman whose hope he’d crushed just moments ago. You were all alone on that big stage, but you practically leaped from one side of the stage to the other, your legs faster than lightening.

By no means did you look like a mess, or that you didn’t know what your were doing. Your eyes were wide open, as if hyper aware of your surroundings and your audience. From beside him, Silas could hear his grandmother whispering the choreography.

“En pointe. En pointe. En pointe.” You were now dancing on the tip of your toes, and Silas could only imagine how painful, if not destructive this could be to your feet.

“Tendu. Chaine turn. Chaine turn. Pique manege.” Now, you were moving across the stage while making turns.

And finally, the big ending. “Pirouette. Pirouette. Keep spotting, Y/n. Pirouette.” Silas knew about the pirouettes. He watched you spin around your own axis, in a fixed position on a ground, your body moving first, your head later, your eyes focused on a spot in the dark so that you don’t lose your balance. You turned- 1,2,3, he lost count because you were turning too fast.

“34- was that 34 turns, Silas?”

Thirty four? Thirty four pirouettes?!

The performance ended with fouetté turns, which according to Sarah were about 28 and you exited the stage dancing en pointe, on the tip of your toes.

The ballet hall erupted in applause and cheers, and Silas stood up with everyone else to give a standing ovation to a now empty stage.

What the hell just happened?

-

Its hot. Its hot. I’m burning up!

As soon as you were off stage, of which you have no memory of your performance, you almost fell to the ground if it weren’t for strong arms catching you. And the moment your eyes caught sight of the broad shoulders, you instantly pushed yourself away, throwing yourself against the wall to support yourself.

“Careful there, love.” Henry grinned, clapping his hands in mocking manner. “That was quite the performance you gave, kitten. I’m very impressed.”

“What are you doing here?” You spat out, wiping the sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand. He tilted his head, amused at the sight of your flushed cheeks. “Silas invited me. He wanted to discuss business. I wonder if the little kitten went to her owner for help because she couldn’t scratch me with her tiny paws?”

“Owner?” You heaved a shaky breath. His smirk widened. “What else would you name it? He bought you to be his wife, because you know and I know that there isn’t and there never will be love between you two. He’s just using you. So drop the charade and come to me-” Henry caught your wrist before you could slap him, and while he may have stopped your physical assault, he wasn’t able to stop your verbal one.

“What would you know about love? You’re here, pursuing a married woman who has insulted you from the very first moment. Those skanks at your disgusting club have more self esteem than you do right now. You’re fucking pathetic and I’d rather eat a cactus and shit it out before I marry an entitled, emasculated prick like you. Fuck off!” You shoved him away and stormed out of there, unaware of just how much Henry wanted to wring your neck (just for a moment) and how a certain someone had overheard this little spat.

And he smiled proudly.

Good job, Y/n. He thought to himself.

-

“Fuck!” You screamed as you burst through the doors and landed out in the gardens, falling to the snowy ground, letting the ice cool your burning temperature.

How the hell am I burning up when its literally snowing?!

You grabbed a fistful of snow and threw it to your face, trying to cool down your body temperature. When that didnt work, you dove face first into the ground, before flipping on your back, letting the snow engulf your body from all sides. Your ballerina costume was thin and sheer as it could be, finally allowing the cold to creep into your skin and slowly into your bones.

Now that the adrenaline rush and whatever the hell was in that tea wore off, your body immediately went into fatigue and became aware of all the aches in your body, especially the pain in your feet. You tried to move, but your muscles didn’t budge. They were tired out, strained beyond their limits.

The cold suddenly became too unbearable and your teeth rattled. You tried to lift your head, tried to yell for help but it was like your mind had suddenly went autopilot and decided to shut down to let your body recover from its fatigue.

“No…” You whispered, as tears slipped out of your eyes. Everyone was inside, the party was loud, no one would even hear you scream for help even if you tried, no one would come to your aid. The realisation that you would freeze to death had you panicking, but alas, your brain refused to cooperate with you.

You heard the sound of footsteps and a glimmer of hope rose in you. Turning your head to the side took the last bit of energy, and your brain put you out of your misery when you saw the daunting shadowy figure that imprinted itself in your mind from the night of the murder.

The cloak, the top hat, a golden ring on his hand and the shiny glint of the knife.

The Ripper is here.

Your mouth fell open in a silent scream before you blacked out.

So??? Thoughts??? Also nobody @ me for not putting a "keep reading" button because I had to edit 12k words TWICE on mobile, I have pulled an all nighters for yall. I have to go to clinic in loke 2 hours.

Yall better send comment and send ask.

[funlovinzara]

“Speechless” Turbo!ken and Okarun x reader

I didn’t know id cause so much trouble, but in the end i met someone who touched my heart…i don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love him.

Warnings: none really

A/n: im back divas 💜 IM SICK AGAIN

______

Okay, lets not start off with “im just a normal person, who attends a totally normal school.” Because its stupid and dumb and i really really just want to explain this whole situation. This school is weird. Ive been experiencing some supernatural things happening to me and i dont feel safe wherever i go and i think something bad might hurt me. I walk home after school one day and i notice the air getting thicker and thicker and i just feel the tense pressure of something following me

I rush home and all i can do is ponder about whats going on with me, am i mental?? Is this some of condition?? Im having nightmares and i cant take it anymore. I cant even talk to anyone about this because i hardly talk to people at this stubborn school���

Besides all the crazy things happening to me, theres this guy I’ve had my eye on, not romantically or anything i just keep seeing him wherever i go and he just sticks out like a sore thumb. I think his name was Ken….im going to talk to him, he seems like the only person who wouldn’t judge me.

I walk up to him and before i could even mutter a “hey” a girl comes first and speaks to him, it seems like they’re close. Suddenly everyone must have a friend besides me, thats so annoying. I’ll speak to him at lunch then. And as i expected, that girl was there again. So i guess i’ll just speak to him afterschool.

“Hey..” i tap his shoulder while walking out the gate of the school. He swiftly turns around looking at me in surprise and quickly blushing. “O..oh hello!”

“I wanted to know if you’d like to be friends…you look really cool and i thought it would be nice.” His face flushes even more “Cool..? Me? Oh- yeah s-sure we can be friends thats totally awesome! Yup! Cool!” He was geeking out, and it was really cute

“Can w-“ before i could speak again he cuts me off. “How about we talk together at lunch tomorrow or if we have the same class..? Its s-super nice to meet you. Im Ken takakura!”

“Oh im y/n l/n, sure we can talk tomorrow” he bows and runs off home, i mean at least i’ll be able to actually talk to him. I start to walk home and the sun starts to set, i really don’t want that feeling to come back again. But it’s not my choice is it..

While i walk home i start to feel it again, the feeling that im being watched. But no it’s way worse this time. My ears start to ring, and i hear footsteps slowly pick up behind me. I start to run home, it wasn’t far anyway, i could make it! I run into a neighborhood I’ve never seen before, but I’ll do anything just to get away.

A blue light appears above my head and i turn around to see 3 large men with a horrifying smile standing behind me. I turn again to sprint for it until they catch me in a millisecond. “What a fine specimen!!! We shall take your banana for inspection.”

“What the heck does that even mean??? Let me go!!” I hear another pair of footsteps and i see..Ken? And that other girl..

“Get em okarun!!” The girl exclaims, and before my own eyes i see okarun leap forward to one of the men holding me, transforming into something so unknown. The aliens are caught off guard and unhand me while i see that other running behind us, a big set of translucent blue arms emerge from her back and grabs on hold on one of the men and slams him.

“Okarun!! Take the girl somewhere else!! I’ll be safe i promise!” This new…person that is ‘okarun’ sighs in laziness “such a drag..” he picks me up bridal style and starts to speed away into a secluded area where the strange men were sure not to search. He lays me down on the concrete floor and i think i recognize this area, this is a part of my neighborhood thankfully!!

I look up at him in disbelief, “your…ken..?” He was prepping to sprint back to where the other girl was but he looks at me instead “in the flesh.” What was up with his lingo..

“..how are you able to do that?” It’s absolutely incredible, i was totally mesmerized, he’s beautiful! “Dunno, i gotta go. Stay safe babe.” He pats my head and then gets into a crouching start position to run, he sprints off and into the night he goes. What just happened, and he called me babe? How am i going to even talk to him tomorrow??

It takes me a minute to get back up and into shape, i make my way back home and i was later than usual. I make myself comfy, shower and change, and hop right into bed. I shut my eyes and start to recap.

‘Alright, what the hell was going on today. Ken is some secret transforming boy, and i guess his nickname is okarun? This other girl has magical powers and i almost got kidnapped by some disgustingly terrifying ‘men’. Based on what I’ve seen today, were those even men?? Im speechless..’ I continue to yap on in my head until i drift off into slumber.

—

I wake up the next morning trying to figure out if i should just stay home today, but then again i need answers. I quickly hop out of bed and get myself ready while having something small to eat for breakfast. I make my way to campus and i see Ken and that girl again, i really need to get her name..

“Hey Takakura.” While he was speaking to that girl he turns around to look at me, she gives me a glance and her face brightens, it seems like she recognizes me. “Hey y/n, is everything alright?”

“Um yeah no, what even happened last night?? That was totally insane! Do you guys know what was going on it freaked me out, and you turned into some creature and that girl had big arms coming out of her back-“

The girl giggles and cuts me off “okay i know it’s crazy, and I’m momo! What you saw yesterday wasn’t normal i know, it’s a long story. But those men you saw were aliens, thats why they looked so weird. Okarun here has this new ability to transform into something completely new, i have psychic powers.”

My face must have been absolutely confuzzled because they both started to giggle “Don’t worry, we’ll talk more about it at lunch! By the way whats your name?”

“It’s y/n l/n, nice to meet you.” She smiles and rests her arm on my shoulder “Sweet! Cmon okarun, let’s head to class!”

He follows right behind us and my smile fades a bit, that person okarun was…i can feel my heart start to strain. This isn’t good, i think i might like him but every-time i see Okarun and Momo together, they just seem like an unbreakable bond that stays together forever and i might be tinkering and getting in the way of that. I want to go home already.

“Hey y/n, matter of fact how about you come to my place after school? Then we can totally go over everything you’re confused about.”

“Oh, yeah sure! I don’t mind.” They day goes on as it fades into the mist of night. Her house is more larger than i thought, i enter and it has this calming feel to it. I spot Ken taking off his shoes and my hear starts to race a bit, this is making me insane. “Alright Okarun, show em!” I watch him transform again and i see that boy…wow he is so alluring. His droopy sleep eyes and tall slim frame would have anyone at campus falling head over heels

“So this is what you saw yesterday, this form is when he blah blah blah blah…”

I really should have payed attention but i was lost in his thoughtless eyes, and he was staring right back at me. I wonder does this form have the same mind as Okarun or is it someone else? While momo continues to talk, without her noticing he nods his head up at me in a “sup” motion, with his hands in his pockets. He was trying so hard to be cool and he really was. I feel my brain melt to my toes as i nod my head back at him.

“So do you understand?”

I snap back into reality, “Yeah..so what can he really do?”

“Well he can only run really fast, he has no good fighting skills yet.” “Wow, harsh.” He said while leaning back on the wall. Momo takes out her phone and looks at the time, she jumps and shrieks “its really late! Hey how about this, you can come over again tomorrow and we can go over how you’re able to see things like this. Okarun since it’s dark outside and you’re a fast runner, take em home!”

“whatevs, I’m the fastest yo.”

We head out the door and he lets me get on his back. “later y/n!”

Ken gets into the crouching start position again and speeds to my neighborhood “quick, where do ya live” I whisper my home into his ear and he quickens the pace all the way until the destination. He slows and gets down, allowing me to step off his back. I was hesitant to walk into my home and i turn around right before he was going to speed back to momos place.

“Cya on the flip side babe.” Seriously does he call everyone babe…but then i realized he was leaving and as he took off i managed to shout “See you tomorrow!!” I see him wave his hand in the air while he ran, this wasn’t so bad. I lay back in my bed ready to disclose for the night, this is crazy.

Will he be someone i can love or am i just going to be a nuisance..?

—

GUYS I JUST finished watching dandadan please i had to write something y’all idk it set something off in me for real!! bye DIVAS 💜

[dandyshucks]

i will attempt to explain it and people are free (and welcome) to tell me if i'm misunderstanding or speaking out of turn! also I have troubles with tone in writing when I'm trying to be clear, so please read this all in as kind of a tone as possible - there is no bad judgement in any of my words here, nor am i meaning to be patronizing, and I apologize in advance if I come across that way!

(also disclaimer that there is infinite nuance to this situation and I cannot possibly cover all of it, but I feel like maaaybe this is a main theme that people are possibly missing, and that it's causing issues)

but I think what I am seeing is there are vaguely two sides in the selfship sphere - I have labelled them as the "community-builders" and the "scrapbookers" just for clarity's sake; this is not an attempt to divide ppl. the community-builders want to build community and connect and interact with each other. the scrapbookers are just here to post/rb about their F/O as if they're gluing photos and text into a scrapbook and that's it, they're not actively seeking a community for themselves.

both of these things are okay and fine! neither of these sides are bad or lesser in any way, they are just looking for different things in the time they spend on tumblr. (more under the cut bc it's a long post otherwise)

I think some of the issues are arising from community-builders assuming that scrapbookers are ALSO wanting community but just not putting the work in. so to community-builders, the scrapbookers appear as if they're expecting interaction without putting in any effort themselves, but I don't think that's the case. I think scrapbookers are just not looking for community the way that community-builders are - they want two different things from their experience in the selfship sphere!

I think there IS occasionally an issue where some people expect or beg for interaction without actually interacting with anyone themselves, but in that case it is best to block and move on OR let the person know directly (and kindly) that they should try to interact with others if they want interaction themselves.

unfortunately it seems like a lot of knowledge around community building and upkeep is not well-known in the present-day, because of [gestures vaguely at our current societal structure and the way social media functions now compared to how it used to etc etc etc]. so I do feel that posts encouraging people to interact with one another are good and helpful and sometimes even needed, but they are not applicable to the scrapbookers. I wonder sometimes if community-builders see scrapbookers having fun in their own little corner and assume that the they must want attention but aren't getting any, so we end up with an attempted rescue situation where community-builders make a "let's all interact more!" post to try to drum up interaction for the scrapbookers even though they aren't actually wanting that.

i know for myself, while I do enjoy the circle of friends and mutuals I've made, I am not super community-oriented. I interact with my mutuals and friends because I like to do so, and I also welcome in new friends and followers with open arms, but I am never expecting interaction and rarely actively seek it out. If my art gets notes, great! But that's simply a bonus for me personally. So to think that some people might look at 0 note posts of mine and think "oh that poor soul! they must be desperate for interaction! i have to do something about this!", that... feels a little silly and even a bit presumptuous on their part. I'm okay over here in my corner, I promise! :] I'm just here to have a space to love fictional characters, and I don't feel like I necessarily Want attention for that.

and to clarify! it is okay to want community, and to want interaction. we just have different wants and goals from our time here, that's all. neither of us are wrong for what we want and neither of us are better than the other - we just have different things we're looking for in this part of the internet, and that is okay :]

i keep seeing an argument of sorts floating around every couple of months and i think maybe the reason the argument is happening is because people are not realizing they want different things out of this all

[kokushibitch]

my dmmd au where mink is actually a brown guy instead of being vaguely yellow and grey. left edit is just a skintone edit while the right contains more natural looking feathers. i also gave him a stronger face

i spent a while trying to pinpoint his nation. unfortunately his design contradicted itself a bit and the slapping of random feathers and dreamcatchers everywhere pisses me awf. i wish that the artists had chosen to stick with one specific nation, and the closer i looked it actually wasn't as bad as i initially thought, but there were still some pretty egregious errors made with his design that could be avoided with CURSORY research, and for a company like n+c, big as they are with the resources to do better research, is unacceptable. to be quite honest, i almost hesitate to even make this post because i really don't want people to run with the information ill be discussing. while i am a native dude that enjoys DMMD, i know so many others that dislike mink, his design, and story because he falls into quite a few racist tropes. also, just because i can kind of glean some information about mink's culture based on his character design/home design, does not mean that it's a 100% accurate portrayal of said culture.

TL;DR: i used to think he was supposed to be ojibwe, but upon further inspection i headcanon mink as navajo/dine and afronative, my reasoning below the cut. im gonna make a later post discussing the nuances of his route and the meta racism in DMMD cause its been a loooooooong time since ive played his route. while im not navajo myself (im tsalagi) i at least have the life experience to tell the goddamn difference between nations lol. i also love the inclusion of a rainbow in his design as a fellow indigenous rainbow enjoyer

note: dine and navajo are the same thing, but im gonna use navajo because thats what more people are familiar with.

the easiest way to start would be with his most obviously unique feature, his locced hair. loccing among NA nations wasn't super common, but it did happen due to the culture & rituals around hair (no cutting unless under specific circumstances, braids/plaits end up "locced" from saltwater, etc etc). to me, however, his locced hair didn't feel like a purposeful design choice. meaning, i dont think the artist chose the locced hair because they wanted to convey something traditional about mink's culture, i think they chose it just because it looks cool, or because mink kind of just falls into the "vaguely brown" category. i'd also be okay with interpreting him as black/native, which i think im gonna do because i know that there are (or was, dead fandom) plenty of black dmmd fans that identify with him

his second most unique cultural indicator is his dreamcatcher. unfortunately, dreamcatchers have kind fallen into that "vague native design" bullshit, but they do have a tribal origin: aanishinabe. again though, due to the sheer abundance of people slapping dreamcatchers onto vaguely native characters, i cant say that this is a strong enough point for me to say definitively that he's aanishinabe. also, you dont fuckin wear dreamcatchers. end of, they're not supposed to be on your body.

THEN there are even more important indicators to me that denote exactly which nation he's from.

just judging base on the patterns used on his traditional tapestries, blankets, and runners, would denote some sort of southwestern nation. now they're not accurate designs necessarily, but i can understand and see clearly where they took inspiration from.

the peace pipe on the wall in both his home and his hideout immediately indicate navajo, a southwestern nation. the fact that he has a strong religious orientation to smoking herbs (im assuming in place of tobacco) is also very navajo to me. the pottery in his home & hideout are also very strongly southwestern, as pottery was a very common art in the southwest. the fact that he has an altar at all is unique because altars are actually not common practice and are usually only found in the southwest, which is actually a good detail point whether it was intentional or not. ignore the dreamcatchers which were, again, thrown in randomly

and of course his homeland contains mountains and more importantly, cliffs and canyons which is another southwest feature. there's also his fuckass cowboy boots which are VERY southwestern

IGNORING the dreamcatcher in his hair AGAIN, he's also flexin beaded jewelry. to me, these are just like regular beads, but you could interpret them as turquoise if you wanted. traditional turquoise jewelry is usually inlayed onto silver bands or pieces as well as strung together like so. his white belt also contains a very southwestern design.

as much as some elements of his design annoy the fuck out of me, i love, love, love, love the inclusion of the rainbow in mink's character design. the rainbow is so important to so many different nations, and mink being a religious person, it actually makes a lot of sense for him to have this sort of draw to rainbows or rainbow colored items. specifically in navajo culture, rainbows are used as Bridges between The Navajo and The Holy People, basically communicating with a higher power. a rainbow is also a symbol of the 7 sacred rituals in navajo culture, one color per ritual. here's a youtube video about it, learn something

i do have some thoughts on mink de-loccing his hair in his good ending, but i think i will have to save that for another post further down the line

anways, ive made my case. mink is navajo

[ihopeiexplode]

📱 “heaven knows I'm miserable now”

[←Previous | Next→]

—

—

you were sitting on your couch with some snacks laid out in front of you as you were about to play a movie while it rained heavily outside, however before you could even hit play on your remote suddenly you heard some knocking on your front door

You get up from your couch to open your door. Who would knock on your door in the dead of night while it's raining? as you opened the door you saw none other than Sukuna, drenched in rain holding a bouquet of flowers along with a box that seemed like it was filled with all your favorite food

should you let him in or let him stay out in the rain?

while you were thinking of a decision suddenly he spoke up

"before you close the door I just wanted to say, uhm.. I'm..sorry for everything I said back then...."

judging by the tone of his voice you could tell someone forced him to say this, not to mention his facial expression as well...

"okay? is that all?"

"yes"

"Who told you to do it?"

"uraume"

"figured, but how come you agreed?"

"I was forced to"

without another thought you just slammed the door in his face, your not accepting an apology from someone who didn't mean it and just apologized because someone told him to

then again you felt slightly bad leaving him out there drenched in rain, you'd sigh before opening your door once again

"come in..."

the moment he stepped in he immediately soaked up your floor, you'd go towards your room to grab him a towel, and when you came back you'd wrap it around him

''sit down ill dry you up"

"I can do it myself"

"Sure you could"

actually, he didn't even want to go against your idea, he really was hoping you'd be the one to dry him up the moment you wrapped him around with your towel,

as he took a seat on your chair while you stood behind him drying up his hair without saying a word, usually the silence between you two would feel comforting to him but this one felt different, he could tell you were still mad at him,

he should try apologizing like he means it this time..

"y/n listen, I'm sorry I'm not good with my words but I'm sorry like I really am i know it sounds like I don't mean it but I do, uhm I'm also sorry about the flowers and food, and there probably soggy"

this time you could tell he was actually sincere about his apology which is..odd for Sukuna, but you'll take what you can get out of him

"I guess I could forgive you"

"wait actually"

"Don't make me take it back"

he really didn't expect you to forgive him, if anything he thought you'd just ignore his apology, you'd continue drying him off by you'll eventually get startled by the sudden thunder strike outside, then you'd notice how it started raining heavier than it before

"you should stay"

"why? it's just some rain ill be fine"

"If you wanna get struck by thunder be my guest"

Will he tell you he used his car instead of his motorcycle to get here? no, of course not if he told you he just passed on a good opportunity to stay at your house why would he pass on the opportunity to stay over at your house

—

when you were finally done drying him off you'd put away the towel before sitting back on your couch

"wanna watch a movie with me?"

"yeah sure i dont mind"

"oh yeah thx for the flowers and food by the way, even if there soggy"

"You're welcome"

—

both you and Sukuna would be sitting right next to each other with a blanket around you two while you guys watched some romance movie, if anything sukuna felt bored out of his mind.

about half an hour into the movie he'd notice how you fell asleep as your head rested on his shoulder, do you always fall asleep during movies? this is the second time this happened..

he sighed before turning off your TV, carrying you bridal style as he made his way towards your room

—

as he placed you down on your bed as he placed a blanket over you, he was planning on sleeping on your couch, but before he could leave suddenly it thundered once again causing you to grab onto his arm as you were startled

he would just sigh once more before laying down next to you, as he did he noticed how you started to calm down, eventually he'll wrap his arms around you pulling you close with your face against his chest before he eventually drifted off to sleep

—

[⛩️] @: Likes & Reblogs R appreciated! ^^

A/N: Idk what my titles should be so I'm using song names🔥🔥💥🗣️🗣️‼️

Taglist: @catobsessedlady @hellomeow12 @0-candlecove-0 @shivzypuff @swirlingcurses @1-800-choke-that-ho @attackonnat @chilichopsticks @getoxmahito @memenojutsu @uhnanix @ichorstainedskin @needtoloveoutloud @love-me-satoru @s-j320 @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @goj0sunglasses @svtvrnal @haitanibros0007 @punkhazardlaw @mslydiaa @jayathelostdragon @caileysdead @rixyaaaa @minzxec @rzcnlb @cadibearrr

[r-riri]

dont smile - oikawa toru

(credits @strangergraphics-archive for the divider)

word count- 508

angst

"hey hey! iwa my phone" oikawa cried reaching for his blue cladded phone that was now in the steel grip of iwa's hand

"no, i am deleting their contacts right now, im sick of your incessant whining about them, you broke up with them" he seethed angrily, shoving his hand away, already opening oikawa's phone searching for their contacts "really? pretty thing? that what their contacts were? god" iwaizumi judged clicking the information button ready to delete it

"you cant do that, thats a invasion of my private life" oikawa yelled reaching for the phone "what if they need me! what if they cant contact me because of this!" he tried to reason coming up with stupid excuses to leave their number in his phone because he just wasn't ready to actually break the bound they once had stitched so closely together, he wasn't ready to never be able to have a direct line of communication to them at all times

"if its an emergency they can contact the emergency services, and they have plenty of other people they can call" iwa easily bushed the concerns that oikawa had already seeing though his ploy to come up with stupid excuses because he wasn't ready to let it go

"if you wanted to keep this, you shouldnt have broken up with them, but no, things got to real when graduation is around the corner and you are too scared to grow up and face the fact that relationships will have hardships" iwa kept pushing, he was sick and tired of constantly hearing about his stupid relationship and how he was in it for the long run because they were, but then two weeks ago what was stupidly tooth rotting because incessant whining about how the relationship would break apart once he moved to Argentina

oikawa stood there breathing heavily staring at iwa, the anger in his eyes, the sharp stinging anger was enough to remind him of how they looked when he told them he wanted to break up

'i just cant stay with you anymore' he stood out front of their single apartment handing back the key they once gave him so he could enter the apartment when he needed

'the hell do you mean 'ru, i cant believe you're doing this after 3 fucking years, this is ridiculous' they scoffed ripping the key from his hand 'you know what? i hope you get what you dream of in this life but i hope i never hear your name ever again

he remembered the moment all too well, the moment he realised this wasnt some nightmare he had frequently, this was happening. he just broke up with the one person he loved and now they are out with some other guy while he is sitting here begging his best friend to let him keep their phone number because with out it he knows he'd dig himself into a hole that will be inescapable

he needs to get them back, he needs his oxygen again, he needs them back.

[itsruki]

Good Girls Like Bad Guys

Dom!Older!Takeomi x Sub!Virgin!Younger!reader

MDNI! MINORS DO NOT READ!

Masterlist:

a/n: So...im back from hiatus. I dont know how often I will post. we shall see about that but this is a lil bit longer of a Smut ff

synopsis: Senju´s class mate, meets Takeomi while working on a school project with her. from there, he keeps on teasing her. he is double her age so its obvious its not serious.....right?

Trigger warnings: afab-reader, mentions of unprotected sex, large age gap, petnames: good girl, baby, doll, dollface, babygirl

word count: 4031

I feel like I'm a bad person. I feel like some people would judge me for my actions and I feel like, if she would know why I always come over; she would never talk to me ever again. 

Senju is great; don't get me wrong. I am happy to call her my friend, but I'd be lying if I didn't say, there is an ulterior motive for me to come to her place. 

It's because he is there. Takeomi Akashi. Her older brother.

It started a few months ago, when I was assigned to a project with Senju. Before, we knew each other; we would be in similar friend groups, but that's when I really started talking. 

Senju is a nice and sweet girl, bubbly and kind. She is welcoming and offers to do the project at her place right away. I accept because, for me, I just want to get it over with. 

I am a little bit of a socially complicated person who doesn't really like being around people. Usually hiding behind my bangs and glasses. People always take my quiet and reserved nature as being cold and condescending. In truth, I am just shy and don't really know what to say.

Senju never has an issue with that. Senju could see through me right away. 

I was sitting in the living room of her small apartment. It is a small 2-bedroom apartment, and I heard before that she was living with her brother and not with her parents, but I never really gave much thought to why that is.

We are both busy working on the project, occasionally cracking a joke and laughing. I am sucked into the work until the front door opens.

That's when I see him the first time.

He is tall; his dark hair was slicked back, some gray streaks and blond sections in it. He has a scar over one of his bright eyes. His eyes themselves are a bright color with so much depth, I thought I could drown in them. His body is muscular and very lean. He looks like he trains regularly. The remains of a cigarette in his hand as he blows out the last bit of smoke out the door before fully stepping in.

I'd be lying if you'd say that you weren't starring at first.

My eyes were glued to him. His toned chest covered in a loose and deep-cut gym tank top, gray sweatpants that, for a lack of better words, left nothing much to the imagination, and god, he looks large...

My cheeks heated up. 

My eyes go to the floor, and I look back at the project.

"nii-chan! You are home early!" Senju says

"Yeah, the gym closed up early because of the Heat." His voice is gruff and rough. Deep and husky. It is noticeable throughout all his features that he is about double my age. A mature man that lives his life 

I look up to his eyeing you. His expression is unreadable. His face doesn't give much away at all.

"This is my friend nii-san. We are doing homework together," he nods as she speaks, his eyes still on me.

"huuuh." is all he says before he walks to the kitchen. "Do we have something to eat?"

Senju giggles, "Yeah, I made dinner. It's on the stove."

He gets himself a bowl of food and sits down on the sofa next to us. I try to ignore his presence and just focus on your homework. Getting it done and then just leaving. 

"What are you two working on?" he asks.

"Oh, just a project about Japanese history. Nothing crazy," Senju Speaks casually with her brother, seemingly unaware of the tension I feel. 

"Yes, it seems that some people your age have a thing for older things," he says with a smirk... It can't be, right?... He isn't egging me on...right? He is just being playful and nice, right? 

That is the first encounter.

The second one is a few weeks later, when Senju is sick, and I am requests to bring her the schoolwork. 

I ring the bell and wait. Takeomi opens the door. He is on the phone with someone and looks extremely pissed until he lays eyes on me. He has a cigarette in his mouth and gives me a smile.

"What brings you here, doll?" ...doll…he called me a doll… "Not you! Shut up! Give me a minute, dumbass!" he says into the phone before pressing it in his chest to muffle the sounds for them. "So, what do you need? Looking for Senju?" I nod slowly and already feel like a light dusting of pink creeping on my cheeks. "u-uhm, I have her...her homework." He chuckles at me....what does that mean?? Is he making fun of me?? "How thoughtful of you," he says in a mocking tone. "You are a real sweetheart. Good girl." I almost chock on my spit. 

"u-uhm so....h-here is the-the ....homework" I mumble before I hand it to him. My cheeks, ears and neck are a bright red. "I will let her know you were here," he said. I can't stand it much longer. I pretty much ran off in embarrassed 

After that, I avoid going to her house for a few months. She keeps inviting me over for projects, homework or even a sleepover or two. I decline it all. I am so mad at myself. How can a man in his 30s make me feel like that??...

One day, I am out buying groceries. I am in the store holding two bags of instant noodles, trying to decide which one to get, when I hear a familiar voice behind me.

"Haven't seen you in a while, doll face. Are you trying to avoid me?" Takeomi says in a teasing and half-joking tone. "You're hurting my feelings, doll. I thought we had something special~" My cheeks turn pink. I'm panicking. "I-i...uhm....I.....I am not.....trying to avoid...anyone..." He moves closer, which I responded to by backing up until I have a wall behind me. "Am I scaring you, Hun?" My breath hitched as he used his fingers to caress my cheek.  "N-no....A-akashi-san...." "Takeomi" he corrected me. He whispers the next thing in my ear, "You know, it really makes me sad when my favorite little eye candy doesn't show herself anymore."  I stammer nonsense, unable to process what he is saying. He moves back and laughs in a hearty way. "Your expression is priceless, doll! As if you just had a prince swoop you off your feet." he taped his ice-cold water bottle against my hot forehead. "Do me a favor and stay this pure. I would hate to see a guy ruin that for you." then he slowly walks away. "And don't be shy. Shoe yourself again once in a while. Senju thinks you hate her." My eyes widen, and I can't help but feel bad. Poor Senju. I don't hate her.....I just.....I can't be around her brother. Its torture. Knowing he is just teasing me. Knowing he isn't serious. It breaks me. I end up buying nothing and burying myself in my bed that night.

About 3 weeks later is Senju´s birthday, and when she asks me if I would stay at her house for a sleepover, I am about to tell her no. Then she tells me nobody else wants to come. She looks close to tears. I couldn't say no. impossible. So I agreed.

On the night of her birthday, it is mostly just us two. We go the full 9 yards. Facemasks, nail polish, talking about boys (obv I don't mention that I like her brother), and cheesy Romance movies. We are in our PJs and sit in front of the TV in the living room. I am having so much fun. I am finally relaxed and could just be me. Then the front door opens. Takeomi comes inside with a cake from the convenience store. He is wearing a white tank top and gray sweatpants. His cigarette in his lips as he enters. "nii-san! Finally! You are so late!" Senju is extremely hyper and happy. She takes the cake and walks to the kitchen. Takeomi´s eyes lay on me, and he gives me a mocking whistle. "Meow~" he says, "looking sharp." My cheeks turn pink, and I pull the shorts just a tiny bit further down. He laughs again. He is such a jerk. After we all have cake and talk for a bit, me and Senju move to her bedroom. Not too long after, we go to bed. I just couldn't sleep. While she is deep asleep and snoring, I am tossing and turning. I check the time. 2:00am. Shit. I decided to go and grab a drink. I stand up and walk over to the kitchen. Takeomi is in the living room, spread out on the sofa, smoking as always and watching TV. He gives me a wave and a smirk. I blush but try to ignore him. I take a confident step to the open kitchen and grab a bottle of water.

"You really are nothing for sore eyes, doll. I could look at you all day." I flinch. He is right behind me, speaking directly into my ear. One of his hands on my hip, thumb drawing circles around my midriff, while his other flat against the fridge door next to my head. My breath is stuck in my throat. "U-u-uhm, eh..." I stammer again. My cheeks are a bright red. "You are way too cute...I could just eat you up..." His lips touch my ear, gliding to my jaw, and he gives me some feather-light kisses. I feel a shiver down my spine, goosebumps all over my body. He straightens his body, now both his hands on my hips. He is trembling. 

He pulls away. I lean against the fridge and pant, looking back at him in shock. My whole body burns. "Sorry. I went too far with my joke." he chuckles and walks over to his door. "Have a good night, doll." He opens his door and walks into his room, closing the door behind him. I sink to my knees and shake. I pant and ring for air. I cup my cheeks and try to calm down. What the heck was that?! That kind of joke is all it is... He keeps playing with my feelings just to get a reaction out of me! It's so cruel! I couldn't handle this torture anymore. Something needs to happen. I don't even remember how I raised to my feet. I stamp over to his door and rip it open. He stands there shocked, without a shirt. I am shaking. Tears are dwelling up in my eyes as I march over to him and push him on the bed. I sit down on him and begin to box his chest. I don't do damage at all, but I am just so angry and hurt. "Who do you think you are!? You can't keep doing this to me! It's not fair! Stop pretending that you like me, and then just walk away! Do I look like a game to you? Someone you can just mess with for a laugh?! You keep playing with my feelings! It sucks! It stinks that I fell for it, too! Not only that, but it stinks that I can't stop thinking about you! And that you just aren't serious!" I sob and cover my face with my hands as I weep. 

"Shit," he curses. He places his hand on my head, and I look up. He pets my head, "I really messed up, huh...." He gives me a different face. It's a warm smile. "You probably think I'm a sadist that gets off on messing with people... yeah?..." I sniffle as I look into his eyes. "Is that not how it is?" I ask. My voice is weak and horse through all the tears. Takeomi chuckles and shakes his head. He cups my cheeks and brushes a strain of hair behind my ear. Then he leaned in slowly, "Let me show you."

I don't have time to process. When his lips meet mine, I feel hot and cold at the same time. I freeze up and can't move. Then it clicks. I try to fight back at first, lifting my arms to hit him and push him away, but he caught both my wrists with his hands. I am so confused. I don't know what any of this means. I don't know what to do.

My brain is empty. All I can think about are his chapped lips and the taste of cigarettes. In any other circumstances, I would be repulsed by that, but somehow it just sucks me in deeper.

My hands slowly sink down and find there way on my thighs. Whatever this, however bad of an idea this is, and whatever kind of consequences might come after this, I can't fight back anymore. 

When he was about to pull back, I lean in and pull him back. He is startled for a second before his fingers tighten around my wrists. The kiss is growing more heated. He licks my lower lip with his tongue, and instinctively I open up for him. His tongue moves into my mouth, and when I feel it run through my mouth and taste every part of me, I moan. He groans against my lips, and his hands move to my hips and pull me flush against him. We break the kiss for a moment to breathe. My hands move to his shoulders, and then I move my arms around his neck. 

I whimper and moan as he turns us over. "This is so wrong," he breathes out and leans back into kissing me. His hands running up and down my thighs. I mewl and moan. "mhm...so wrong....we should stop...fuck…" I curse when I feel his bulge grinding against me. His hands grasp my wrists and pins them over my head. "Tell me to stop," he whispers into my ear before kissing down the side of my head to my jaw, down to my neck. His lips are sucking and kissing my pulse point.  "Please don't stop..." I gasp out. His fingertips grace my midriff. "Keep your arms over your head, or I will have to tie them up." his voice husky and horse. His hands move higher, sliding under the hem of my PJ button up. His thumbs are drawing circles right under my breasts. His tongue licks up and does my neck. 

He begins to unbutton my PJ. Every button less, he reveals my white lace bra. I hear him curse under his breath before he kisses further down until he is between my boobs. He cups both of them with his hands and takes a deep inhale "fucking perfect." His words run a chill through my whole body. Heat pools between my legs.

My moans grow louder. Takeomi rocks his hips against mine. His bulge is grinding against my covered sex. "Ta-takeomi..." I gasp out. The grinding grows more intense and deliberate. He fumbles with the clasps of my bra, but curses in frustration when his desperation renders him incompetent.

His hands move to my shoulder straps, pushing my arms down for a moment. He grabs onto them and yanks them down. I blush in a dark red when he eyes my exposed breasts. The look in his eyes is filled with animalistic lust, hunger and a deep-seated need. 

He undoes his belt, and within a few seconds, my hands were tied above my head to the headboard. 

A low growl escapes his throat as he kisses down mine. "It's all your fault. You and those eyes. Fuck....I tried everything. I tried everything to stop wanting you...." His face dips between my boobs. He gives the mounts of flesh kisses, licks around my nipple, and makes me jump under him. I whimper and whine. He tweaks and pinches the other one. When they were hard and turn into small pebbles, he began to bite the flesh of my boobs. Leaving bite marks everywhere. "Fuck.......fuck fuck fuck!......how do you have such a chock hold on me.....this body....your voice....it's like I'm losing my mind."

His hands glide down my sides; hook into the hem of my shorts. "....fucking finally. You've been flaunting this body around me for way too long...." He slides the fabric down my legs. My panties are now the only fabric that separates me from his gaze. "Fuck......you are so fucking wet, babygirl..." He kneels between my legs and spreads them even wider, pressing his nose into the drenched fabric. He inhales deep and groans. "fuuuuuuucckkk...." He gives my ass a firm slap, which made me yelp. Then another one, and another one. His tongue runs between my folds, held back by the barrier of my panties. He eats my pussy through my panties. My brain is blacking out. I can't contain my moans anymore. My body is tensing up.

He smirks against my covered sex. "You are close, aren't you? Fuck...drench those panties for me, baby. Squirt your juices into them for Daddy." 

Something in my head just snapped, and I whimpered out loud when I cum hard in my panties.

I pant. He looks up into my eyes. My face is red, tears run down my cheeks, my mouth a gape as I ring for air, my drool running down my chin.

I'm completely out of it until I notice a flash. He took a picture of me. "You don't mind, right, baby? You're gonna let Daddy have a piece of you, right?"

I shake my head. I can't talk. He smirks and uses his thumb to draw circles around my covered clit. I whimper. I'm still so sensitive. 

He peels the panties off my legs and spreads them wide. I feel the urge to cover myself, but my arms are still bound. He runs his fingers through my folds.

"You like it when I play with this pretty, little pussy, don't ya? Yeah...I can see you creaming all over my fingers....such a good girl for Daddy." His fingers slowly sink into my pussy. It's such a weird feeling. My walls clench around his digits. His thumb draws circles around my clit, "Open up, baby. Let Daddy stretch you out. Believe me.....you will need the preparation"

Two of his fingers slowly pump in and out of me, spreading my walls. He is stretching me out. He adds a third finger, making me gasp and whimper out. "You can take it, baby.....good girl"

When he decides that I am stretched enough, he pulls his fingers out.

I look down and see him hooking his finger into his Pants. I can see the bulge straining against the fabric. There is a dark spot where the tip would be.

He smirks at me as he slowly pulls down the Pants. His cock springs free. It's monstrous—girthy and long. It is veiny and leaks a copious amount of pre-cum. 

"You look like you just saw a ghost. I admit it's pretty dang big....but I'm sure you will be able to handle it.....hopefully. "

He grabs his cock by the base and runs the tip up and down my folds. I whine. It feels so good. It feels so unbelievably good. Then he lines up with my entrance. My body braces itself. He notices that and rubs my cheek. "Relax, babygirl....let me in."

I breathe and try to relax my muscles. He slowly pushes forward. The crown of his cock is inching its way into my tiny, unused hole.

It burns a little. He isn't rough at all, but he uses force. Slowly, painfully slow, he inches his way in. Then, I feel a piercing pain and take a sharp breath. He rubs my hips in soothing circles, "Breath through it, baby. It will be over soon." I look up at him and see his face strained. He looks like he is holding himself back. I take deep breaths. "Told you, you'd need the prep...." he chuckled. My arms wrap around his neck as I try to hold onto him. My body is slowly adjusting to the intrusion. He is so long and girthy, and I can feel every inch of him inside of me. He then slowly pushes the rest into me. Once he bottoms out, we just remain in that position. He keeps kissing me; he keeps whispering sweet nothing's while I slowly accommodate to his size. Once I feel like I'm okay with it, I wrap my legs around his hips. That's all the invitations he needs, and he begins to slowly pull out until just his tip remains in me. Then he pushes back into me in one motion. I yelp. It hurts, but it also feels so unbelievably good. I am so full. I feel like he is reaching everything inside. I begin to whine his name. He sets the pace of his slow but rough fucking. He lifts my legs to reach even deeper. I can't move. I can just lay there and take the pounding. He doesn't speak much anymore, mainly just grunting, groaning and cursing. It's like he isn't quiet there and only acting on instinct. 

The sound of flesh against flesh fills the air. My whimpering, his groans and the creaking of the bed. The wet squelching of my juices and the occasional spank he gives me. 

"I love you," I murmur. "I know," he  doesn't respond. Then he kisses me. The kiss is intense, almost as if he is saying it back but being too afraid to actually say it. I match the kiss as he keeps pounding me.

"i-im clo-" he interrupts me, "I know. I feel you squeeze down on me.....hold on for a bit longer, okay? I'm almost there..."

Easier said than done. I'm not sure how to hold it back. I take deep breaths and try to distract myself. He feels so good.

He changes the angle, hitting a spot in me that takes the air out of my lungs, a spot that makes me see starts. I was about to scream in pleasure when he presses his flat hand on my mouth. Tears pick up in the corners of my eyes. I'm so overwhelmed, but in a good way. He keeps hitting that one spot in me. I whine and moan against his hand. I can see him smirk at me. Sweat drops off his face down his neck. "Just a little more....fuck....just a little bit..."

Just a little bit. I say it in my head, over and over again, as a mantra. Trying to hold onto dear life as he pounds me.

When I feel like I can't hold it anymore, I give him a begging look. That's all it took. He picks up the pace and aggressively fucks into me. His free hand moves between us and begins to rub my clit.

I cum.

Everything flashes. I see stars. Then I feel a warm feeling in me. He gives me a few more hard thrusts as he shoots ropes of cum into my tight hole.

While I can't move, he keeps kissing my face, my neck and my collarbone. "You did amazing, doll. So fucking good..."

He proceeds to sweet talk me again. He rubs my body lovingly everywhere and kisses me softly. He keeps praising me. Then he turns over and pulls me with him. He pulls his soft cock out of me and just gives me loving embrace after loving embrace.

"It's exactly what I said.....you are too pure...too sweet....I knew someone couldn't control themselves and just ruin you.....just didn't expect that someone to be me.....but I'm ain't complaining. The Lord will forgive me for sure..."

He rubs my head. "You should rest. Try to sleep. I'm right here."

When he says that, I can already feel how my body is drifting to sleep. My eyes keep closing until I am peacefully snoozed off, in the arms of the man that I love.

I will deal with everything else tomorrow.

Goodnight

Taglist:

@reiners-milkbiddies

©itsruki reblogs and likes are very appreciated! pls do not repost!!

[sukunasweetheart]

according to some fans sukuna could also be a r*pist.what's ur thought on that?

Tw: discussions of rape

Im guessing this is rooted from the moment where he asked about the women and children 😭 which is odd, because he literally said "it'll be a massacre!" right after... he had murderous intent, not lust. Or maybe women and children taste better!

I know if you look at my masterlist you'll see a couple of dubcon fics and its true i like dabbling into dark content with sukuna quite often, but canonically speaking, sukuna has never been portrayed as an inherently sexual individual.

He is quite the opposite in fact, he is a complete nerd for jujutsu, he values strength above all and i just don't see him being interested in raping someone...? Though i understand him committing atrocities and believing that the "weak" deserve to endure their own suffering has kind of led to people getting the idea that he wouldn't be opposed against raping someone but i really disagree with this idea

He has shown time and time again that he is completely uninterested in weak people, in fact, he doesn't even give them the time of his day - most of sukuna's victims have been killed off quite quickly and without him paying much attention to them at all, he simply doesn't care about those who don't match his bare minimum expectations.

And those that he does end up liking to some degree, people who have the power to give him a somewhat worthy fight, he does respect them in his own way, which is indicated by him learning their full name and being more responsive and engaged when he's fighting them. When he was fighting yorozu, she asked him to "wait!" even after they had started fighting, and i found it interesting that he actually stopped and heard her out before continuing the fight. Additionally we can see from uraume's relationship with him, he is also not keen to abuse them at all, in fact he is quite chill with them??

If sukuna is uninterested, he does not even bother looking at them twice. When he is interested in someone, he has shown he maintains a level of respect for them. In my opinion, it doesn't matter whether this interest is romantic or platonic, i think one can depict a lot about the other...

I definitely don't think he doesn't rape because he thinks its morally wrong or whatever, i feel like he just 1) lacks an inherent desire for sex (he is more infatuated with a person's strength and jujutsu) 2) he doesn't go out of his way to torment those weaker than him, he is just that disinterested in weak people 3) to people that he ends up liking to some extent, he respects.

Sukuna is a very sexualised character (i dont hate it, in fact i love it a lot 😍) which i think makes him more prone to easy misunderstandings that he is sexually impulsive as well, but gege has shown us its really not the case! (Yorozu came over with her whole pumpum out and he did not bat an eyelash)

Please take anything i say here with a grain of salt, i am obviously not gege akutami so i wouldnt dare to say i know sukuna inside and out, but this is just my honest thoughts on this question!

I won't completely rule out the idea that he may be a rapist, gege hasn't portrayed his past, we barely know anything about sukuna personally- but judging from what we already have canonically, i don't think he would be a rapist.

I know that in fanfics, almost anything is game and i really enjoy viewing sukuna from all kinds of angles and perspectives, i truly believe he is such an interesting and appealing character, i could also write up a whole essay about how flexible he is to write with, but this is already quite a lengthy response to a simple question so i will leave it here 😭

[ilovepaigebueckerss]

can we have emily engstler x fem but masc energy reader like- reader is always trying to hit on the girls and trying to rizz them w a masc energy (reader is TALLLL and has some muscles) and when she saw emily for the first time shes like okay im seeing you and she suddenly turns out as a pick me girl trying to get her attention 😭😭 masc energy suddenly disappears and she just wants emily (very random im sorry 💀💀💀)

just an act.

part 1/?

pairing: emily engstler x fem reader

summary: you were a pretty cocky girl. you knew you were fine and you used that as an advantage to flirt with any girl you wanted and you were pretty smooth. this all changes one night when you meet a blonde basketball player.

a/n: okay so like the dates dont match the ACTUAL game dates but js shhhh🤫🤫🤫but anywho i kinda dont like this but yeah. THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING BTW KEEP EM COMING.

word count: 1.1k

__________________________

APRIL 26TH, 1:23 AM

you were at a bar with your friend maddie, taking shots, dancing, and just having fun. you were wearing a short leather skirt with a plain white crop top. (you can imagine whatever you want) you had your hair in a half up half down style and you thought you looked pretty good.

“cmon y/n!!! lets dance” maddie yells to you

you were a few drinks in and already ready to go home. the bar was sweaty and reeked of alcohol. not to mention the loads of guys attempting to get a pass on you.

“you go ahead, i think imma get another drink.” you respond.

she nods and throws you a thumbs up as she walks toward some random dude shes probably gonna forget about tomorrow.

you head over to the bar and order yourself a drink. you noticed the bar tender was oddly attractive. long hair, a septum AND eyebrow piercing. she was wearing a white tanktop with a unbuttoned plaid button up.

one thing about you is, if you think someone is attractive you’re gonna let em know since you were pretty confident.

she came back with your drink and when you grabbed it you made sure to graze your hand against hers.

“thanks” you say.

“welcome” she responds.

“soo.. when did you get into bartending?” you asked. you mentally slapped yourself. ‘really’ you thought ‘couldn’t think of anything better..’ you judge yourself.

she chuckled at your poor attempt to start a conversation.

“2 years ago” she responds, smiling at you. “whats your name?” she asks, continuing the conversation.

“y/n, and you?”

“audrey”

you smile at her taking a sip of your drink observing her features.

“a picture lasts longer you know.” she says snapping you out of your thoughts.

“haha very funny. its not my fault theres an attractive girl standing right in front of me.” you respond slickly

you can see her facial expression changed to a flustered one. ‘im backk’ you thought.

“thanks. your pretty cute yourself” she says. you giggle at her comment “thank you” you say sweetly, still smiling.

maddie comes stumbling towards you. “y/nnn, lets go homeee” she slurs.

“oh my god, let me get her home. it was nice meeting you audrey!” you say grabbing maddie by her waist to keep her stable.

“you too.”

______________________________

APRIL 28TH, 7 AM

“morning” you say to a very sleepy maddie. she just groans in response.

“made you some food!” you say smiling big.

“thanks y/n/n” she responds tiredly. “mhm” you hum in response.

“im so excited! today is the mystics game!!” you practically yell.

_______________________________

APRIL 28TH, 5 PM

you were getting ready for the game making sure to look cute because you didn’t know who you were gonna see.

your rule was ‘always look cute nm where you’re going’ (real)

you were wearing jorts and a random basketball jersey you found on amazon. (again imagine whatever you want) you had big gold hoops on and your hair in a slick back pony with a red bow to match your jersey.

“MADDIEEE” you yelled for your best friend. “LETS GO WE NEEDA MAKE TIKTOKS”

your bestfriend comes running into the room all dolled up.

“AHHHH LOOK AT YOUUUU!!” you yell “looking all fine and shittt” you hype your best friend up.

she sticks her tongue out in response. “BABY LOOK AT YOUUU” she screams.

“mwah” you say making a kissy face.

“okay lemme just put my lip combo on and we good to go” you say excitedly.

________________________________

APRIL 28TH, 6 PM

the game started at 7 but due to your best friend being extra she insisted you got there at 6.

so there y’all were at the game; early as hell.

“okay ill get us our seats, go get the snacks from the car.” you say to her. she nods in response and starts walking off to the exit door.

once you found your seats you sat down and started scrolling on your phone. you notice the players starting to come in and you feel your cheeks get hot. you didn’t realize it would be that embarrassing to be here so early.

the players wave to you and you wave back smiling big. you couldn’t help but notice one blonde with tats. she was FIONEEE and coming your way.

‘shit’ you think.

“hey! thanks for coming to our game.” she says smiling

her voice is husk and you melted just by hearing it.

“oh and i like your jersey” she says raising her eyebrows.

you look down at your jersey and see that the ‘random’ jersey you bought belonged to a fairly attractive blonde basketball player.

“oh uh, thank you.” you respond shyly. you could feel your cheeks getting hot. “and uh of course yeah uh good luck” you say a stuttering mess

“well i got to go! but it was nice meeting you..” she pauses “uh y/n” you say “y/n!” she continues.

she runs off but looks back at you “hey! stay after the game!!” she yells to you.

________________________________

TIME SKIP

the game ended and the mystics won.

you didnt mention to your bestfriend that emily told you to stay after the game.

“hey uhh, so emily engstler wanted me to stay after the game.”

maddies eyes widen “WHAT” she says shocked and then her expression changes.

“and why did you not mention this?” she asks sassily.

“i don’t know but i’m scared” you say honestly. you never had to hide your feelings from maddie.

“girl, GET UP” she yells louder than she intended. “look at youuu” she says spinning you around. you couldn’t help but smile at her antics.

“i love you” you say making a sad face. “yeah yeah now go get your girl!” she says.

“y/n!” you hear a sorta familiar voice call your name.

your knees buckled at the sound of her voice.

“hiii” you say, sounding way too excited. your cheeks get that familiar sensation.

“hey! i just wanted you to stay after the game cause your pretty cute and i was wondering if i could get your insta” she admits.

you almost fainted.

“oh yeah its ‘y/ncantstandyouhoes’” (real)

Emily chuckles after hearing your username

“well i gotta get going but ill text you okay?” she says

“yeah..”

you stand there dumbfounded trying to process what just happened.

________________________________

TIME SKIP

you got home and maddie went straight to bed so you had no one to debrief to.

you decide to just go to bed until you see a notification that makes your knees weak.

‘Emily Engstler followed you!”

[kratenz]

Hi! I was wondering if you could maybe write some Harlan x gn!reader? Not forced of course!

ofcourse! thank you so much for requesting. this, in short, is the morning after with harlan.

judging by the state of things, it had been a night, for sure.

you woke up groggy and dazed, slowly peeling your eyes open in pure exhaustion. you know you didnt drink anything— you were never the type to— but the sunlight cascading through the blinds still gave you a slight headache. actually, upon second thought, that would make sense. you hadnt woken up with the morning sun in ages.

you had a slight habit of staying up late, and therefor waking up late aswell. so it would make sense for you to feel groggy when, for the first time in a while, you woke up at— you check the clock— 7 am. dear god.

theres a blissful, peaceful silence in your head for a mere moment as the fog of sleep once again attempted its siege of your brain, calming and relaxing...

but then you remember. you have an alarm clock. this one has roman numerals. and you dont have these blinds either, your bedsheets are not this colour... and all of a sudden you see the clothes strewn across the floor. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. for a second your brain and heart turn into overdrive, a sharp intake of breath as you wildly look around where you were, who you were with.

you get shaken out of your thoughts by an arm being lazily draped across your chest, a sleepy, comforting voice accompanying the gesture. "g'mornin, toots. god its so early..." and at that moment, a part of you feels safe. you roll over to see bright blue eyes staring at you, safe for the occasional sleepy just-woke-up blink. a slight smirk played on his face, boxy features looking so soft and squishy and nice...

"goodmorning." you utter out, bewitched. partially by the man in front of you— or, eh, well, laying beside you, but also because memories of last night started replaying in your head like an old videotape. "goodmorning, harlan." the 'you look so handsome' goes unsaid. you think he knows that you wanted to say it, anyway.

the frankly evil smile grows even wider, almost dopey, as harlan reaches out; a ruffle of sheets, a small shriek from you, and suddenly you were laying ontop of his chest. smiling. like an idiot.

"do you really think i was going to let you go after last night?" then, after a beat, "youre beautiful."

[kaq3yma]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐉𝐔𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑 ft yamato endo

syn: could he a be a good judge of character after all?

⸻ contains: slight yandere tendencies, reader is mentioned to be a cashier, and languages.

qeena's brief note: yippieeeee finally wrapped up my endo fic AND slightly yandere endo (๑-﹏-๑) wowzwowzzz but honestly idk how i feel about this um whether i like it or not BUT i dont hate it rofl anyway no long note this time, im keeping it "brief" (๑>؂•̀๑) so lemme know what you guys think of this, thank you, i love you, reblogs and comments are very much appreciated and happy reading xoxo 🩷💚

It's that one time, that one time he walk around amidst of the night trying to find an open store to buy fireworks for Takiishi. He stop in his trance, gaze swept away by a solitary store stood out among the dimly light streets. His feet brought him almost leisurely to the front door and that's when he saw you, working through the racks to fill up stocks.

When he pushes the door open, the automatic bell chime and you turn around "Welcome..." The corner of his eyes crease as he smile at you "Hey, do you guys have any fireworks in 'ere?" Yeah, it's not everyday a weird looking guy with weird tattoos litter across his body come in the middle of the night asking for fireworks "Yeah, sure..." He follows you to the farthest corner of the store where you kept them "Is there anything else?" The man turn to you, shaking his head "That'll be all,"

You rushes back to the counter, patiently waiting for him to come back and pay "Y/n..." Your eyes widen, and as you look up, you're surprised to see him leaning down to your face very closely. His eyes concentrated on your tag. You ring every bit of his items as quickly as you could "That'll be 507¥." He huff, taking the bag from you and leave.

You really thought it'll be the last time you see him...

But no, the weird man keep coming back, not to buy fireworks or anything, just to loiter around and pester you with your works and because it's in the middle of the night, there's barely any customers in the store which leave you not to only listen to his constant yapping but to reluctantly accompany him as well "Don't you have anything else to do?" He point at the cup of noodle he site on the table "Besides eating?" You groaned, shaking your head "No. Besides bothering me." He snickers, taking a noisy slurp of his noodle "I do. Following Takiishi around."

You look at him, confused but you dismissed the thought straight away "Whatever, I'm going back to work, if you're finish eating, leave." He pout, putting down the utensils he's using "You're mean. I'm a customer, y'know?" You sway your head at him "You make me pay for you everytime, you fool." He breaks into a fit of laughter, watching you mad is so hilarious.

The next night, he strides to the familiar route of your shop, face bruised and nose trickled with stained blood. The prior incident flashes in his mind once again.

He was with Takiishi like usual, tailing behind the poker-faced male wherever he go without question. The duo browse a town with its street swarming with delinquents and thugs. Endo didn't mind and he's sure as hell Takiishi didn't mind it either but when one of the men purposefully pick a fight with Takiishi, Endo decided to step up for him instead and he got a harsh blow from Takiishi "Don't intervene." Another blow, his face spotted with sheepish smile and blood smearing out every cuts as Takiishi continue to beat the tattooed male.

"Why am I going to her, anyway?" He didn't understand why his feet brought him to you. He knew what you're like, indiffirent and without a doubt, he can guarantee you couldn't care less about the bruises on his face, so why is he here? In front of your work place, damaged face grinning without a thought. He opens the door, greeting you with that same crazed smile.

"Welcome...!" Your eyes widen upon seeing the state he's in "What the fuck happened to you?" He chortle, bringing one hand to touch a singular cut on his face which causes him to wince terribly "... That hurts." He couldn't properly registered what was happening until you pull him to a nearby table and sat him down "Of course, it hurts, you prick. You leave the wounds untended!" He watch you move around the store, going to the back room and came back with a first aid kit "You're so careless..." You sighed, lift the lid of the box and start tending him.

A deep gash across his cheek, several cuts and scratches covering his forehead and temple, nose trickled in crimson and eyes almost swollen "Just what the hell did you get yourself into..." You graze alcoholic pad across the wound to clean it, damping ointment gently over the cuts and scratches and finally, you put one last bandaid below his eye, on the apple of his cheek "All done."

Your eyes flutter forward to him, only then did you realized just how close you both are. Your eyes expanded and you almost fall back in shock but he caught you, rolling into laughter "Why are you red?" There's that, that hint of mockery lacing in his undertone "Shut up, asshole. You didn't even thank me for stitching you up." You look away from him, well, he wanted to tease you some more by how red and incredibly cute you look at this moment but uncharacteristically, he stayed quiet.

"Thanks," You look up, awkwardly coughed out fake coughs "D-Don't mention it, just buy me something next time." You pick up the first aid kit and leave back to the cashier.

He leave the store, heart pounding within its cage, he can feel himself shuddering to the bone at the slightest remembrance of you. Yes, he likes you, he think he wants to make you his, he think you are so perfect... Don't tell Takiishi but, now, you're his number one.

And yes, he indeed still is a bad judge of character.

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓 is open. all rights reserved goes to @kaq3yma on tumblr.

[cringelordofchaos]

craig is so fucking emotionally repressed and afraid of being vulnerable and open about his feelings and bottles them up way too much until he cant handle it and it never gets resolved i love him

he thinks he "is in control of his emotions", but in reality it seems like he's moreso blocking them out or ignoring them, or trying to rationalize the situation. (at least that's what it seems to be the case judging by the fact that's how he tried to help tweek feel better in Put It Down.) But it's literally canon that his primary weakness is communication so its definitely moredifficult for him to express his emotions unless he burts them out (like in his argument with tweek in put it down.)

love his relationship with tweek, it really forces him to confront an important part of life he is shown avoiding - emotions. and by talos it is difficult for him but he's learning.

though at the same time he's overwhelmed and overburdened, since tweek is pretty emotional and sometimes potentially clingy (due to him being naturally insecure of himself and somewhat relying on craig for encouragement), this might be perceived as a threat for craig who's practically afraid of emotions or vulnerability, and probably doesnt know how to manage them the best.

this is best shown (but not resolved) in Buddha Box where Cartman says the buddha box can help him block out anxiety or other people that may overburden him. he begins to talkabout tweek and feeling like hes always asking for his attention. so he just tries blocking everything out instead of confronting this or communicating this to tweek. its pretty interesting how they practically made it canon that he actually struggles with anxiety, despite him being the monotone, deadpan and calm one, especially when compared to tweek. im pretty disappointed they didnt resolve this by the end, but boy am i glad they showed the part of him that struggles as much as others. from what we know, craig is really not that close to many people, or much things, besides stripe, his guinea pig... so given his difficulties with communicating and accepting his feelings accompanied by the fact that he isnt and never was close to that many people, i dont blame him for finding it difficult to exactly manage his relationshiip with tweek, especially as tweek is really emotional himself. and craig does care, a lot, and does want tweek to be happy, and he tries helping him by simply being logical and coming up with solutions, rather than thinking emotionally, but sometimes that's simply not enough. and he does learn that in put it down but sort of starts struggling again in buddha box, except this time instead of learning to be emotinally vulnerable for tweek, he shuts himself off from everyone. though hopefully one day he learns to be more open, because that's pretty important in general but especially in a relationship, i think.

eurghhhh they complete each other so well. they are so different which does prove itself to be an obstacle but also is important for both of them, because they learn soo much from each other. Tweek learned how to be more confident in himself 'in a way he never has before' thanks to craig. and tweek is helping craig learn how to manage emotional relationships and life better and understand emotions in general.

Im not sure where exactly his emotional suppression comes from. It could be due to his family being more closed off. it could be due to him possibly being autistic. it could be due to both. it could be due to neither. but i love him nonetheless.

anyway sorry for small rant. the post was initially just gonna be one sentence but i felt like elaborating on what i meant. i love craig tucker soooo much. he makes me soooo happy.