#i think idk time flies so fucking fast

[faedotexe]

So i'm working on a tiny roll & write about being a giant dragonness and conquering the land and burninating the countryside and uh I'm kind of trying to make """"""art""""" for it lmao

chat is this cringe

[huggybearluvr]

Next Thing You Know || Q.H

Series Masterlist

Synopsis: After meeting Quinn at a bar in your 20's you can't believe how fast the time flies.

The song links:

Apple Music || Spotify || Youtube

y/nmathews

liked by yourbestfriend, quinnhughes, and others... y/nmathews met this guy at a bar and next thing you know he's my boyfriend....

view all comments...

yourbestfriend I'll kill him. He better treat you right.

y/nmathews oh he is girl

austonmathews do i know him. does he play hockey. and how old is he.

y/nmathews idk. maybe. lols

quinnhughes seems like a stud

jackhughes that back looks familiar....

y/nmathews no it doesn't!

lukehughes YES IT DOES @quinnhughes

quinnhughes shut up.

jackhughes @austonmathews do we approve of this?

austonmathews i'm just glad it isn't you with your grubby hands.

jackhughes excuse me?

quinnhughes

liked by y/nmathews, lukehughes, and others

quinnhughes never thought I could love like this.

view all comments...

jackhughes thought you said you were staying single for awhile

lukehughes he did infact say that.

quinnhughes don't be mad that you guys cant pull like I can

y/nmathews I love you <3

quinnhughes I love you more baby

ellenhughes such sweethearts

austonmathews this is...

jackhughes nasty?

lukehughes absoutely fucking crazy?

y/nmathews can you guys leave us alone please?

austonmathews sorry.

jackhughes im not

lukehughes me either

quinnhughes .

yourbestfriend OKAY THIS IS CUTE

quinnhughes

liked by y/nmathews, jackhughes, and others

quinnhughes next thing you know she moved in! ... and brought her weird ass dog with her...

view all comments

austonmathews the first picture...

y/nmathews is so cute!

austonmathews no.

y/nmathews WEIRD ASS DOG?! excuse me sir Zues is a little baby

quinnhughes he could squash us both.

y/nmathews hes. a. little. baby.

quinnhughes he ways 140 pounds...

y/nmathews shhhhh he's my baby.

mitchmarner @austonmathews YOU LET HER TAKE THE DOG?!

austonmathews its her dog?

mitchmarner NO NO NO It was yours as much as it was hers.

y/nmathews he didn't take care of that dog, it was all me.

mitchmarner zues squared tho :(...

y/nmathews ill bring him with me when I visit.

y/nmathews

liked by austonmathews, mitchmarner, and others...

y/nmathews Mrs. y/n hughes has a ring to it.

view all comments...

quinnhughes I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you baby

y/nhughes I love you more than anything else in this world

austonmathews when he asked for my blessing, I didn't think he would propose so quickly.

quinnhughes oops?

austonmathews if she's happy, I'm happy.

y/nmathews im more than happy :)

jackhughes god she's gonna be moms favorite now

ellenhughes she already is :)

lukehughes MOM NO I AM

quinnhughes in your dreams Luke it was me before y/n

yourbestfrind AWWWW BABY

y/nmathews my maid of honor <3

quinnhughes

liked by y/nhughes, ellenhughes, and others...

quinnhughes the best weekend of my life. To my beautiful wife, I love you more than any words could ever say. You are the sunshine of my life and I have no idea where I would be without you. Thank you for choosing me to spend the rest of your life with.

view all comments....

y/nhughes wouldn't wanna be doing life wiht anyone else. I love you quinn.

quinnhughes I love you too baby

jackhughes congrats to both of you! I love you both.

y/nhughes awww rowdy, we love you

ellenhughes Congratulations! welcome to the family officially y/n!

y/nhughes thank you!!

austonmathews You got a good one Quinn. Congrats to both of you!

lukehughes huggy is all grown up :(

quinnhughes i've been grown.

y/nhughes

liked by jackhughes, yourbestfriend, and others...

y/nhughes the honesymoon has been nothing short but amazing.

view all comments...

austonmathews Zues misses his parents come back soon

y/nhughes or do you just miss me?

austonmathews ...

jackhughes QUINNS A SIMP

y/nhughes I can't deny that

quinnhughes for her yes I am a simp.

quinnhughes mrs. quinn hughes looking great!

y/nhughes mr. quinn hughes looking even better

lukehughes vomit.

y/nhughes

liked by quinnhughes, jackhughes, and others...

y/nhughes surprise! baby hughes on the way!

view all comments...

austonmathews I'M GONNA BE AN UNCLE?!

jackhughes WE ARE GONNA BE UNCLES?!

lukehughes WEE ARE GONNA BE UNCLES?!

mitchmarner WEEE ARE GONNA BE UNCLES?!

y/nhughes yes you are ALL gonna be uncles.

austonmathews so like whose the god father...?

jackhughes me

lukehughes uhmmmm no me.

quinnhughes both of you stop.

ellenhughes congrats! the baby is gonna be a little angel!

quinnhughes I am so excited baby!

y/nhughes me too! Can't wait for little nugget.

quinnhughes

liked by y/nhughes, jackhughes, and others...

quinnhughes surprise twin boys! Y/n and I are so excited to introduce Sawyer Warren Hughes and Seth Auston Hughes.

view all commments...

y/nhughes I am so excited to be doing life with you and them! I can't picture a better family! I love your three more than anything in this entire world.

quinnhughes and we love you all the way to the moon and back baby.

austonmathews you named one of them after me?

mitchmarner he is quite literally crying rn.

y/nhughes awww Aus, come over and meet your god children :)

austonmathews are you being serious? I am the god father???

quinnhughes we couldn't think of any one more perfect for the role

lukehughes I am so honored.

y/nhughes we love you lukey.

[larsnicklas]

What is that people don't understand about Barky?

eh i think it's less that he's misunderstood as it's.... idk. that he flies very under the radar by choice and tends to be overshadowed by flashier personalities. on purpose. i guess if there's one thing i'd say — with the caveat that none of us know the guy personally! — i don't really think he's shy at all, which is how he was described a TON when he was younger. he speaks when he has something to say and has always had yappers in the leadership group to balance things out lmao. but he's so funny!!! and tbh the older he gets the more he lets his personality show on camera i think lol

i, a longtime nicke enthusiast, am used to basically all of this and even drawn to these traits, and therefore voraciously consume every longform sasha interview/piece that is available to me in order to kind of get a grasp on what makes the guy tick. here are a few of my favorites + a few highlight videos for fun!

SASHA MINI PRIMER ⬇️ aka an incomplete but lovingly curated collection of required reading/videos/essential moments below the cut!!!

📰 Sushi With Sasha: Barkov jests that all being captain really means is, “I have to open my mouth sometimes.” [...] The fact Barkov cracks wise about his quiet ways, though, is in line with a defining characteristic — knowing how to pick your spots, both with the puck and one-liners. “Yeah, that’s exactly it,” says Pittsburgh Penguins defenceman and fellow Finn Olli Maatta. “Definitely not the loudest guy in the room, but when you get to know him he has almost like a sneaky sense of humour.”

🎥 32 Thoughts: Barkov Reminisces About Panthers Magical Playoff Run (he is so cute in this. hair fluffy. smiley. sweet.)

📰 Q&A: Sasha Barkov is home in Finland and discusses his love of chicken wings, Jaromir Jagr and the Miami Heat: How fast does that car go? Well, 65 is the speed limit, right? So, 66. But I think it would hit 200 if you really pushed it.

🎥 Aleksander Barkov Shootout Goals But They Get Increasingly More Impressive (what it says on the tin)

📰 The NHL’s new Patrice Bergeron? Panthers’ Aleksander Barkov fits the bill — ‘He does everything right: Affable as always, Barkov, despite his short offseason, looked noticeably more jacked than he’d even been during the Panthers’ tremendous playoff run. He smiled and extended his hand before discussing his motivation to captain the Panthers back to the spot that had been so grueling to get to in the first place.

📰 Barkov Keeps His Cool: It’s right after one of those long days of work at the rink in November that Barkov, known better around the locker room as “Sasha,” has me on his car’s speakerphone as he works to traverse through a bit of traffic around rush hour. In the background, vehicles can be heard zooming and honking around him. But just like he does on the ice, the Panthers captain is keeping his cool. As he maneuvers through congestion with his foot tap dancing on the pedal, he doesn’t talk much about his extension, but rather of the first time he attempted to traverse the highways of South Florida as a fresh-faced, 18-year-old hockey prodigy during his rookie season in 2013.

🎙️/ 🎥 The Hockey PDOcast Episode: Aleksander Barkov's Defensive Impact and How He Does It (analysis of barkov as a player with accompanying video clips)

🎥 Panthers Celebrate Captain Aleksander Barkov (this video is so fucking funny to me because joe t.hornton just talks for ten seconds about how big sasha is. which. yeah real.)

📰 Dwyane Wade crashes into fan at Heat game -- Panthers star Aleksander Barkov: Barkov said he would like to see Wade at a Panthers game this season. The Panthers play at BB&T Center in Sunrise, which is 35 miles north of AmericanAirlines Arena, where the Heat play. Barkov predicted Wade would get a standing ovation from Panthers fans and said he wouldn't let boards stop him from trying to see Wade during that game. "I'll try my best to fly over him," Barkov said.

🎥 Ask Me Anything | Aleksander Barkov (this is where he says his dream golf quartet is his ex bf his current work wife and his dilf mentor)

📰 Q&A with Sasha Barkov: Fast cars, Miami sports and his first move as NHL commish: Yeah, the palm trees were cool and he really liked the ocean. But he also liked to drive. To do that, he needed to head to the DMV and get himself a Florida driver’s license. “I don’t have a car but I have the license,” Barkov said during his first training camp with the Panthers in 2013. “I failed the first time because I didn’t understand the questions.”

🎥 Laine and Barkov go to town on Finnish chicken wings (literally just a minute long video of them eating chicken wings LOL)

🎥 ALEKSANDER BARKOV VS. PAVEL BARBER | HockeyShot Shootout Challenge! (silly trickshot video... fans throw rats at sasha and he's like thank you :D... it's like an artificial sheet on the beach, sasha is very cute)

[bloedewir]

The more I think about all that trapped-in-the-Fade situation the more possible ways of interaction pops up in my mind. Just like flowers after rain.

I mean if Solas will be connected to Rook in some abracadabra fade spiritual mental way.

Few tiny thoughts:

What it's like to have a freaking god inside your head? He lives much much longer, he has a very different definition of time, way of thinking, or a depth of feelings.

Rook may not be able to handle the weight of that kind of emotional pressure. (Not because they're weak, because they're mortal).

I mean if an ancient elven god suddenly felt a bit sad it has to be like a qunarian punch in the face. Evening discussion in Lighthouse and Rook idk just starts ugly crying during the conversation for no reason. Or flies into a berserker rage because the weather isn't that good. Or catching up a devastating depression mood like Howl (because Solas remembered his vhenan 🥲)

Solas thinking or murmuring on ancient elvhen which Rook doesn't understand and it drives them crazy. Like a broken radio you can't mute, "blah-blah, dirthara, blah-blah, set'lin".

While everyone else speaking Rook is also continuing arguing inside their head, having two conversations at a time. And it's not always going well.

For example:

Harding: ..and then we finally found..

Rook: CAN YOU SHUT UP FOR A FREAKING MINUTE??

Harding and rest of the squad:

Memories mingle all the time. Flares up like fireflies over and over again. Old, disturbing or just too strange to this world. But some memories are surprisingly understandable. Maybe familiar even.

If solavellan involved the first meeting must be soooo embarrassing.

"I see that "Inquisitor" for the first time in my life, why in the hells I feel so.. sad and full of regrets? Why the heart beating so fast.. and wtf is this? Am I, what, sweating now??"

Some changes is going. Rook started to use words they never prefer before. Some of those words on elvhen they can't translate but just know the meaning. Solas accidentally found himself asking not the "did you consider the upcoming consequences of your own actions?" but "what the fuck are you doing now?"

Undesirable thoughts and growing anxiety. "Am I still me? Just me? What is this, my thoughts or nightmares he sent to manipulate my fears? Or..?"

Meanwhile Dreadwolf scratching Rook's sculp inside with claws in silent rage, forced to be an observer incapable of continue the fight he started a long long ago while two evanuris are fleed from the cage.

And there it goes another day and all starts over again...

such a capturing topic to speculate with oh gooods

[chunkymamatam]

Do you have any more info about shifting to MHA? I know that was probably a while ago but I really wanna try shifting there so yeah!! :DDD

Yeah. It was a really long time ago. Like 4 years lol

So this was actually the first time and place I wanted to shift to. It was mostly mini shifting.

One time I went and I “gained sentience” as me and my friends like to call it lmfao in the street. I looked around and I was like “oh shit. I’m actually here.. huh. I wonder if I can bother Hawks” I saw he was busy and I was like “man I’ll go bother Aizawa he’s too busy with fan girls for me to introduce myself.” I go to walk off and I hear flapping of wings

My first thought was “ah he has hero work to do.” Tell me why this man lands in front of me and knocks me on my ass. That shit hurt like a bitch 😭THEN HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO ASK IF I NEED HELP GETTING UP LIKE HE DIDN'T DO THAT SHIT ON PURPOSE

Also keep in mind I had never met that man until then. I shifted home it freaked me out so bad lol It's funnier when I remember over there my clone teleported her ass away pfff

The next time I managed to shift there I was in an alleyway and all of a sudden a feather floats down. This stalking ass bitch was watching me up above. He drops down and I kindly (NOT) tell him he needs to stop doing that shit (He hasn't done it since pfffff) and he was like

"So.. You're the one who teleported away in the middle of a crowded area?"

"What does that matter? The fuck were you doing watching me???"

"That's for me to know and you to never find out! Haha anyway duty calls" THEN THE BITCH FLIES AWAY Keep in mind I didn't think he was actually stalking me and that's why I didn't freak out more and this next bit happened.

I left after that interacting and came back a different night. It was night and I was just trying to figure out wtf to do now that I'm here and tell me why this man appears behind me saying some "We meet again!" Now if I call you one of my many claimable slurs...(/j) but seriously tho little 18 year old Tam was just happy to be there lmfao. He comes at me with the "I just got off of work you wanna get a bite to eat"

... I said yes and he finally asked my name LMFAO I ended up going to his place at the end of the night. Crazy I know but again I didn't think he was ACTUALLY stalking me okay????

It gets better because after that I ended up accidentally shifting into the LOV hide out LMFAO I literally don't know why tf my clone was there but I was trying to get out of there so fast. They wanted me dead bro. Now I momentarily shot myself in the foot when I was arguing why they should let me live. Shiggy asked why I should be allowed to live and I was like "I got dirt on everyone"

he said "prove it"

I was like "Well I got dirt on everyone here too so I could probably prove it like that"

BRUH BAD MOVE THEY WANTED ME GONE EVEN WORSE WHEN I PROVED IT

I revealed to Dabi I knew who he was and gave a few details about every person there that I definitely shouldn't have know from there perspective but then Magne came in and I was like "HOLY SHIT YOU'RE STILL ALIVE????" proceeded to give them life saving advice for her and went home cuz that shit was TOO stressful. had to let my clone deal lmfao

It worked considering I was a free man when i went back. did it last long? no. Was freedom nice for a while?? yeah. Tell me why I run into Hawks and Endeavor. He introduced us and idk if it's just his face but bro was mean mugging me. Endeavor please stop looking at me like that I haven't even started dogging on you verbally yet. They end up running off to do their job or whatever and I walk off. Tell me why I see Shigaraki creeping in an alleyway just watching. HELLO??? I cross the street and end up getting snatched up by Dabi and Twice anyway but fucking christ bro. They take me to the warehouse and tell me why they hit me with the "You were right" MAGNE FUCKING DIED BRO I WAS SO UPSET

Long story short they forced me to stay with them after that. Dabi for the longest time gave me the cold shoulder and was acting like he hated me. I'm just gonna say he didn't and not go too far into what happened cuz idk how old you are. There was also this time when Shigaraki kissed me out of nowhere. I was drunk and rambling and crying about something to him and he kissed me. Gonna be honest I thought he just wanted me to shut up and he was just following the trope. I didn't think he liked me. I only found out because he found out what happened with Dabi and chased me down to confront me about it. It was a wild time. I was so fucking scared bro.

He said "How did you not know I liked you??? I literally kissed you"

"I thought you just wanted me to STFU!"

Shiggy after I said that dumb shit:

I'm fucking stupid when it comes to people liking me in short. I stopped going to that specific DR shortly after that. I have other MHA DRs if y'all wanna hear about them.

[azumasoroshi]

minidura chapter 4 react

simon i SWEAR ill get you out of there and that horrendous art style

also though. TEENAGE SHIZAYA CHAPTER LETS GO???? idk if narita made the minidura or if it's a separate illustrator but they are giving the FOOD rn

i was wondering where the official knowledge that simon forced izaya and shizuo to eat sushi together came from. i mean i guess this isnt official and it was probably stated in the anime somewhere but still, good to see it illustrated pff

AAAAAAAAA ive seen this image around tumblr but i didnt realize it was from minidura 😭 i thought it was fanart or smth (<-dumbass)

wait im actually going crazy over this akwjhkjdshs they're washing dishes together!!! now we just need them to do laundry and taxes and-

im going to go over the image limit this time on god

wow cant believe they're bathing each other too (<-delusional)

something about the first shizuo panel reminds me of aggretsuko. which is. actually. huh. arent they both like adults with anger issues. durarara aggretsuko au when

also deadass i forgot dennis existed until i read about him in a shizaya fanfiction and i was like "who's dennis" pfgfkhkd

so true though never throw kitchen knives kids

LMFAO HE JUST GAVE THEM MORE WORK INSTEAD OF RESPONDING

they're gonna be here all day at this rate. actually shizaya as fast food/restaurant staff au when because they'd have the stupidest rivalry known to man and i need it

fucking imagine shinra walks in and sees shizuo and izaya working by the counter

i hope izaya gets to eat fatty tuna by the end of this though. god knows he's gonna look cute as hell

made funnier by the fact that izaya at least definitely knows how to cook with how long he's been on his own and needed to feed his sisters

damn ive actually never seen someone's vein burst in a way where blood sprays out in anime akshGKJHJKSD thats impressive actually

dont look now but this may or may not inspire me to make a mermaid/pirate au (<-obsessed)

who needs kaiju battles when you can have blue fin tuna vs crab

they're literally never leaving this place bro they're gonna be stuck here for eternity. anyway here's a literary analysis of durarara pointing out why russia sushi is actually representative of dante's inferno /j

i want to read those blurbs so baddddd screams sobs bangs table

rip dennis dude he doesnt get paid enough to deal with shizaya

rippp time to listen to izaya pine hopelessly for the man he cant stop annoying for five seconds

simon had the right idea. too bad shizaya are shizaya

what is that face izaya. i cant tell if he's irritated that simon's right or irritated that simon cant understand how instinctual their hatred is or amused that simon thinks he and shizuo could be friends or amused because he thinks meaningless fighting is hilarious

oh......that kind of hurts actually

i can imagine izaya suggesting it as a joke and then lying in bed that night thinking about how it's never going to happen and it really sounds like a funny joke huh? (he is not crying)

i cant believe simon's been dealing with these bitches for like 7 years now like dude has the patience of a saint

😭give him his 50,000 yen simon

we can see that the crack in the sign is actually fixed now too ahhh time really flies when you're stuck in a relationship of mutual hatred

chibizaya is so cuteeeeeeeee

im sure he intended to paint himself that way in his recollection though pff

THATS RIGHT SHIZAYA BE THE PORCUPINES. SNUGGLE. DO IT

step aside erika, simon is the face of the shizaya nation now. especially with that "you just have a shizuo complex dont you" quote that i found the other day which i still havent recovered from

HAUDGHUSDH orihara izaya, pro unreliable narrator

hilarious how we never see tom's face. just his dreads lmfao

dennis and simon are so done with like izaya bro i think they can tell at this point that he's horrifically pining and has no healthy outlet for it. the bills go to him because they're bullying him

it'd be funny if they billed him 50,000 at the end actually pft

I KNEW WE'D GET THEM EATING TOGETHER!!! I HAD FAITH

they're so cute oh my god can i make that my header or something

10/10 chapter im going to punt izaya into a wall and get simon flowers

[totaldrama-showdowns]

Submissions for the Non-Human Showdown! Including ones that are invalid!

Fang (x2)

“🦈🦈🦈”

“He's Fang ❤”

Cody Jr (x2)

“Cody Jr! No! Not Aunty Heather!”

Mr Coconut (x2)

“The og. Should have won every season /serious”

vince the alligator (x2)

“SWEEEEP”

“The lore… so immaculate”

the don box (x2)

“bzzz i have a stupid fucking clue for you. ah fuck the interns put me in a lame outfit again”

“what id don on about he's slaying in that shirt”

wt pineapple (x2)

“ALEPINEAPPLE FOREVER!!!”

“👅🐍🐍🐍🐍”

Irene the fish (x2)

“shes so beautiful i’d kiss her too”

“The final remaining member of Team Victory after DJs elimination, Irene went on to win the million and the hearts of many.”

the chrarry baby (x2)

“Goo goo gaa gaa”

“ive got my eye on u chris mclean”

Princess Beth Doll

“I WANT TO BUY ONE SO BAD IRL!!!!! Also, this too is yuri”

Old Jester from reboot S2ep9

“I love when Damien hugged him! That's scene is soooo cute. Also I love fluffy animal!”

Bobo :)

“SEASON 2 SPOILERS Bobo is the name of the bear that had the Raj mask in season 2 episode 12 :) idk I just think he’s silly”

DJ’s bunny

the Chris-shaped cake that Julia's group made

“I wanna eat that thang”

Dramarama Cody

“He's an alien”

Theodore (MK's stuffed unicorn)

(the arts and crafts) Shed (from season 1)

“shed sweep”

that evil little seal from wt

“sooo little and evil. who can hate him”

caleb rock

“possibly the best version of him out there”

the skull duncan carved for courtney

“you cant deny how iconic it was”

eva’s mp3 player

“the most important character in td history”

heather’s various hairstyles

“possibly the most diverse and versatile entity in td historu”

pahkitew island

“The best one”

Myself

“:^)”

ryan seacrests car

“very fast”

chef's car (total dramarama and gen 4)

“MY CAR!!!!!”

alien clone cody

“AAAAAAA*explodes into green goo*”

chris's wig

“wiggin”

heather's wig

“wiggin”

total drama yum yuk happy go time candy fish tails

“You ate it!”

trents five finger shirt

“5”

princess courtney CD

“all the greatest hits!”

owens butt

“fart”

anne maria’s hair style

“Ey im walkin here”

bridgettes surfboard

“BONK”

the fake antlers from the paintball ep

“Duncney”

manitobas fedora

“served!”

beary <3

“it’s LITERALLY beary”

ripper’s world record breaking fart

“he did it”

the portrait of cody as blue boy in wt

“funny looking”

sierra’s pizza box-cum-laptop*

“she uses the internet AND eats witj it. shes a genius”

*Mod Note: this refers to cum meaning: combined with; also used as (used to describe things with a dual nature or function).

waynes accent

“Eh we play hockey eh”

mal ventriloquist doll

“aaah im evil mal doll”

alejandro puppet

“we do a little trolling”

Chef 2.0

“He made him from a cashew”

Mt. Kīlauea

“She has the mercy to have her lava not hot enough to kill Alejandro, Ezekiel, and that random intern like... Everyone say "thank you" or somethin idk. Do you think she feels bad that Alejandro ended up in a robot suit because”

Immunity idol s4-5

“They ruined it's design in the reboot boooooooo”

MK's infernape

“Listen, she's a gamer and she's based. She would totally pick chimchar in bdsp. She probably hates people who tells her to "play platinum" because that was a game made for old people.

Try and exclude this submission, I dare you. There's nothing that says I can't submit theoretical non-humans. There's a non-zero chance that MK has an Infernape and I know it's been raised to have some awesome sneaky move. If you exclude this, I bet you'd allow "Mike's Torterra" because only a grass type fan would be a fire type and MK hater!!

Julia would keep her piplup unevolved and beat her console into tiny bits when she gets to Cynthia btw”

the drone of shame

“[picks up victim and flies away] wheeee”

that giant bowl of rice they fall into in japan

“mm giant bowl of rice”

noah’s dog

“his epic dog”

celine dion cardboard cutout

“love fucking wins #duncney”

the face huggers from Area 51

“rip tyler”

ezekiel MISSING milk carton

“Sad! He died.”

the eagle chris shot and killed

“someone arrest this man. again”

the confessional

“it’s always there for you”

geoff’s splinter

“OW”

the bread from codys pants

“man i need to rewatch island. i fucking love the pants bread”

That ice cream snowman from SMS

“LISTEN. JUST BECAUSE HE IS FROM THE EPISODE THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN NOT GIVE HIM HIS RESPECT”

bear

“the one from raptear specifically. let's go lesbians”

that pizza chase threw the challenge for

“clearly he should be with it rather than emma. chemma? chipper? chazee? nope never fucking heard of them”

Momma's Spice

“*sprinkles it on op's head* mmmm tasty”

The Gilded Chris award

WT barf bags

“give a real f to those guys. never appeared after episode 7.”

the toxic marshmallow of loserdom

“killer of staci's hair”

The lavatory confessional

“bitch is iconic. 6/8 is a passing mark!!!”

Courtney's PDA

“why wouldnt they call it a phone idk but its so camp”

The Cassowaries

“Male cassowaries are responsible for raising the young. We love an involved father.”

Fire-breathing winged mountain goats

“You could make an Undertale reference with this (also they're really cool)”

Giant Beetle

“Dott shippers will like this one”

Mutated Maggots

“They're pretty cute!”

Six-Legged Rats

“ADORABLE EEEEEEEP!!!!”

scott bird

“what a beautiful bird”

Chef's car

“It may play a role in mkulia canon”

Gethin

that rainbow porridge in episode 8 of the reboot

“aw hell naw chris cookin up the gay porridge”

The cassowary that fell in love with Zee

“We love an iconic single mother looking for love”

The rat in the cargo hold that appears on screen for 0.5 seconds during Ezekiel's solo in "Come Fly With Us"

“That rat really carried the whole song. Iconic. Astounding. Never before seen talent. Lady Gaga is shaking in her Demonias.”

The Erymanthian Boar

“It wrecked Duncan's shit in Greece.”

The dock of shame

“So many teens walked on her, i think she deserves some recognizion”

gwen's blender necklace

Zoey's hamster (Miss Puffycheeks)

“It's cute and can punch a cat, need I say more?”

[tsintotwo]

[59 Hours, Part 5. (Part 4 here). Jake (Sweetbitter) x Reader. I am obliged to warn you: This is a. Long, b. bit of a rollercoaster ride, c. kinda wild, and d. HELLA smutty/NSFW.  Like, I don’t wanna be too dramatic but, um, read at your own risk? Kinda? I guess? (Man, idk what y’all are gonna think.)]

Hour 32

Jake was the one to shower first. After taking yours and stepping out, you find him asleep on the bed. You can’t blame him- last night wasn’t your best sleep, but it sure was hell of a lot longer and better than what he had.

You stretch. In the last thirty hours or so you’ve sat around so much more than you normally would, and much of it in less-than-ideal positions. Your body feels stiff. You think for a second, then you get your headphones from your backpack. You hook them up with your phone's bluetooth, switch on an upbeat playlist from your music library, then walk around Jake’s apartment listening to it. This is common practice for you. You don’t ask for much in terms of entertainment- you don’t have the time or the money. Losing yourself in music is enough for you.

Usually you do this when you’re trying to clear your mind though- calming yourself down, getting through some worry, cataloguing to-do lists in your brain. But right now, you don’t feel like thinking about much- your mind feels airy in a way it hasn’t for a long while. You’re just focusing on the music, and oh, it’s fun- before long your steps are peppy, matching the beats. It’s not dancing, exactly, but it’s also not not dancing.

Then, of course, it turns out that Jake’s sleep was more of a power nap, and he has to see your ridiculous dance-walk, swaying your hip and flailing your arms with the drop of that trap beat as you strut. You don’t hear him because you’re wearing headphones, and you don’t see him until it’s too late and he’s right in front of you. It startles you, and you swear, clutching your chest before you take off the headphones.

He’s raising his eyebrows. ‘Wow,’, he drawls, ‘I didn’t realize I was this good.’

He’s referring to the sex, and you refuse to be embarrassed. ‘Why?’, you say, ‘Feedback hasn’t been nice so far?’

He chuckles, ‘Who needs feedback when you can literally see them do happy dances?’

You realize you’re probably blushing, but you hold your ground, and say, ‘Oh, I see how you’ve been deluding yourself. People just do their own thing, and you assume they must be doing it for you, huh?' 

He stares, and suddenly you’re unsure if you’ve hit a nerve. You reach for your phone and switch off the music. ‘I’m joking, Jake. I do feel good.’, you say, ‘And don’t get too big of a head, but that- you- were pretty amazing.’

‘I don’t need your fucking feedback.’, he turns away, ‘What’s there to eat?’

The breath you exhale becomes a sigh, your heart slowly sinking like the airy flakes in it have turned into tiny, sharp pebbles. You should’ve known- some things are too good to last.

Hour 33

‘Dear Valued Customer…’, goes the email. It’s from the Airline, informing you that you have a few hours to transfer your unused ticket for free to a similar flight leaving within the next 48 hours. The two flights tonight aren't options, and only one you manage to find without ridiculous layovers flies out at 2 in the morning the day after tomorrow. You transfer your ticket to that one, the final click bringing a strange emptiness with it. For a while there, you almost forgot the world outside existed. In that world, you aren’t this woman- taking shots, doing sexy dances, wrapping yourself around a guy you’ve known for less than a day, sleeping in his bed. Feeling things- too fast, too much, too soon. You have responsibilities- a job, a family to take care of. What you don’t have is time or space for distractions. Don’t you worry, girl, a voice whispers in your head, you can go right back to your stupid life after this. No one would be bothering to go distract you anyway.

Trying to ignore the hollow feeling that’s creeping up from your stomach, through your chest and inside your throat, you swallow, looking around for Jake. But you can’t see him from here. He was pacing aimlessly around the apartment, he must have settled down at the table, or the old half-broken sofa near it.

Earlier, you two had Chinese food for dinner. There wasn’t much conversation. You both managed to skip lunch today, and while that actually means something for you, you could tell for Jake it’s just whatever. You’ve been noticing his eating pattern (there isn’t one), and when you told him that he should eat more often, he threw you a look. You shut up after that. Maybe he was right to be annoyed, who were you to show concern for him anyway?

He didn’t talk to you afterwards either. He tapped away at his phone, brows furrowed, mouth in a firm pout. Some of his irritation must have been from nicotine withdrawal- you think he finally emptied his cigarette pack this afternoon. What you don’t know is if the rest of it was because of you.

Now you find him on the sofa, drinking. This thing is so much worse than the other furniture in the apartment, and when you’d asked about it earlier, Jake informed you it came with the place, and he just never got around to throwing it away. It doesn’t look comfortable at all, and when you sit down beside him, you’re confirmed- it feels exactly like it looks. You can’t help thinking the only reason Jake would be sitting here is to avoid being near you.

You tell him about your flight. ‘Good.’, is his response. He doesn’t look at you.

You made one stupid joke, and you don’t see how it was worse than all your other stupid jokes. Is that all it takes for this to happen- for Jake to act like none of the connection- intimacy, whatever, something- you had exists anymore? Guilt is an old friend of yours. It comes quiet, whispers to you- you messed up, you ruined everything.  

It would’ve worked a couple years ago, too. But you know guilt like the back of your hand, and you’ve been learning to peel off its mask and expose it as the liar that it is. Your dad leaving was not your fault, your remaining family’s dysfunction is not your fault (right?), your relationship burning up in a trash fire was definitely not your fault. And this isn’t either. It’s not you, it’s not the joke or anything else you did. Maybe it’s just Jake, and like you, when things start looking too good, feeling too real, he’s suspicious. Only he doesn’t hold his breath like you do, waiting for them to turn bad again. He charges ahead and tries to destroy them before they can destroy him.

And things would be so much simpler if you could let that be, wouldn’t they- leave Jake alone, wrapped in his chosen darkness, and withdraw into yourself for the night, then leave quietly tomorrow. But for the life of you, you can’t, you can’t not care, you can’t not want more, more of him, more of you with him, more of the unnamed thing between you that feels so disproportionally monumental. So you have to try pulling him back from this shadow.

You start with simple conversation, ‘What would you be doing now if it was a regular day?’, you ask.

‘Be at work.’, his answer is short.

‘I tried to be a bartender once.’, you say.  This captures his interest.

‘I bet that went well.’, he’s looking at you now.

‘Yeah.’, you laugh. ‘I was fresh out of school and looking for a job. Options were thin in my town. There was this new pub in the next town. They were looking for a bartender, and I thought, why not shoot my shot? I didn’t think they’d actually take me, since my knowledge of alcohol is… lacking. Also, I was faking my age.’

Jake’s mouth twitches, ‘Didn’t think you had it in you.’

‘Oh, you don’t know the stuff I have in me.’

‘Oh, yeah?’, the twitch becomes a half-smile, ‘Why don’t you show me?’

‘I might.’ You’re completely winging this- you’ve pretty much been a straight arrow most of your life, the fake ID thing was a one-off- and only because you were desperate for a job. In here though, with Jake, a wild version of you doesn’t seem so impossible. ‘But yeah,', you continue, 'I think they just chose the young pretty thing and hoped for the best. I tried it for a month. Then I quit.’

‘Did you.’, Jake pours more drink, turning away. You think he’s losing interest. Actually, no- it might just be the opposite. He was starting to enjoy the conversation, and as soon as he’s realized it it's like he doesn't want to allow himself that anymore.

‘Yeah’, you still keep it up, ‘Too many creeps hitting on me that I didn’t know how to handle then. And I was terrible at it anyway. Do you like doing it?’

‘Whatever.’, he’s disengaging, ‘It’s a job.’ It’s not an answer at all.

‘You like photography.’, you point out. ‘Have you tried doing it professionally? I think you’re good.’

‘Yeah, no.’

‘Why?’

‘I don’t know. You ask too many questions.’, you’re losing him.

‘Yeah, hashtag Straight-A Student Struggles. Former student, that is.’- this is the only thing you can think of saying. 

He didn’t expect this answer maybe, and chokes on his drink a little. ‘Did you really just say ‘hashtag’ out loud?’

‘Told you I had stuff in me that you can’t even imagine.’, you shrug. ‘Where are my points for showing you?’

He’s shaking his head. But his mouth twitches again. 'Humblebraggers,' he says, pouring a large drink, 'get no points. And', he offers the drink to you, ‘it’s never too late to make up for lack of knowledge.’

‘Yeah, I'm not so hopeless that I don’t know this.’, you take a sip of the drink and give it back to him, ‘But I’m not drinking this much bourbon now.’

His face shifts towards distaste in a second. ‘No,’, he mutters, turning away, ‘You wouldn’t.’

‘I wouldn’t, because I know I can’t handle it.’, you tell the truth.

‘You gotta handle it, huh?’, he sneers, ‘Not be messed, not throw up, not have a hangover, just perfectly sober, handling things, problems, like me last night-‘

‘Jake!’, you have to stop this spiral right now, and the only way to do this is more truth, ‘No, I want to remember.’

‘What?’, he stumbles on his train of thought, confused.

‘I-‘, you take a deep breath, ‘I would be worried about all that normally, yeah, being sick and hungover and all that shit. But here, with you- you make me-‘ , oh, God. The bottomless blue of his eyes is sharp and focused despite the drinks, and it’s hard to go on as he looks at you, because what if he laughs in your face? But you do anyway, ‘You make me feel different, like I can be different… carefree. More. And I would get drunk with you, and do things with you I wouldn’t with anyone else. But,’, oh, how is this getting even harder? ‘I’m leaving tomorrow, and this has been, you have been-‘, What, exactly? You don’t know how to put any of these into words, so you just say, ‘I want to remember this. I don’t have much more time left here, and I want to remember this, and you. When I look back, I don’t want half of it gone in an alcohol muddle, blurry and blotted out. I want to remember it all.’

You take another long breath, and he's not saying anything, and oh God, why did you think it was a good idea to say all this? You feel exhausted suddenly. What are you doing here? ‘I-‘, you swallow before saying, ‘Sorry, I get if that was weird for you. You’re just sitting here trying to enjoy your drinks, and I’m-‘, you stand up. ‘I’ll go, sorry.’ You turn away.

But then there’s a pull, and you look down over your shoulder to see that he’s reached up and grabbed your hand, stopping you.

‘You-‘, he lets go of your hand, looks down, eyes closed for half a second, exhaling. Then he looks up again, and says, ‘You wanna see some pictures I took? I have a Flickr account.’

He’s trying to be casual, but you think he looks… vulnerable- a kind of helpless hope shining through the resistance. It makes you feel too many things, but the smile making its way across your face shines the brightest.

‘Yeah.’, you say, ‘Love to. I'd much rather remember those than your toilet bowl.’

Hour 35

Shut away from the world with Jake, time feels liquid. When you notice, you’re shocked to realize that you two have been looking at photos Jake took for over 2 hours- there aren’t that many on his online account. But he explains them a bit, then makes a slanted comment, you quip back with something else, and he tries to turn it back around, and so it goes. It’s so easy between you two when he lets it be easy.

There are a couple pictures of Simone in here. You realize the picture on the wall is her too, but in that she’s face down on the beach… honestly, kind of like a mermaid, you think. But here you can actually see her- blond, willowy, and exuding a natural confidence that comes through even in still images, she’s gorgeous. You say as much to Jake, and he makes a non-committal sound in his throat that could mean anything.

Not that you’re some photography aficionado, but you can tell Jake takes good pictures. So you ask again, ‘Honestly, you never even freelanced? You’re really good.’

Jake shakes his head, clicking away from his account window that he’d pulled up on an ipad- he took it out from the drawer of his side table beside the bed.

‘Why, though?’

‘I have a job.’

‘In service. Perfect for you, seeing how you’re a real people-person.’

‘I like people’, reaching up from his position on the floor, he reopens the drawer and puts the ipad away, ‘when they tip me.’ He grins, ‘Which they do, a lot.’

With that face of his, you don’t wonder. ‘Oh, no. No hope for the rest of us poor people.’

He smirks, ‘Why, desperate to have me like you?’

He’s sitting with his side slightly leaned against the bed, legs stretched out on the floor, graceful even in this simplicity. And even though you were being sarcastic with your comment, now you suddenly can’t find words- inside your chest there’s a stupid twinge of inexplicable pain. After a pause that’s a second too long, you look away, and say, ‘Don’t worry. I know what I can’t afford.’

It's an awkward answer, and you’re waiting for him to make fun of it, but he doesn’t. When you look back at him, he’s watching you in that intense way he has of doing it sometimes, and that makes it even harder to remember rhyme or reason. You have to change the subject, so you grab onto the first thing that occurs to you. It must have been working itself out at the back of your mind.

‘Simone started working at the restaurant before you, didn’t she?’, you ask.

Jake frowns, ‘Not by much. Why?’

‘Just- is that why you started working there?’

‘I- I guess. But I’ve been bartending for years now-‘

‘And was Simone always a waitress or a server in those places?’

Jake’s jaw clenches for a moment before he replies, ‘So what? She looks out for me, I look out for her. That’s us.’

That’s us. The us of Jake and Simone that he keeps falling back on.

‘It’s great.’, you say, ‘I was just wondering- if one of you doesn’t want to stay anymore, what does the other one do? Like, if you wanted to quit tomorrow-‘

‘I don’t want to quit.’, You can almost see Jake reeling away from you, but you can’t stop.

‘If you did.’, you say, ‘If you said you wanted to, like, be a photographer now, or travel, what would she do?’

‘She’d be fine. I-‘, he stops.

‘What?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Tell me!’

‘I was going to open a place with one of our chefs who wanted to quit. We’d both quit and open our own place.’

‘And?’

‘Simone was very supportive. The house at Cape Cod is both in our names, and she was willing to let me sell it.’

‘So why didn’t you?’

‘It was a stupid idea.’

‘How did you arrive at that conclusion?’

‘I just did.’

‘How?’

‘Simone-‘, he stops, trying to find words, ‘She agreed to sell the house, and told me she’d do anything for me. She’s always worried about me, she still does. I can’t- I can’t abandon her.’

‘How is you owning your own business abandoning her?’

‘You won’t get it.’, Jake shakes his head. ‘Other people never do.’ He looks at you, and you feel the change, the ease between you- strong, but so fragile in its existence- evaporating. You’re other people now, on the other side of Simone and him. Knowingly or unknowingly, you were expecting it as soon as you started talking about this. But you didn’t expect what you feel now- defiant.

‘Okay.’, you say, ‘Just, to me, it feels like-‘

‘Oh, for fucks’ sake! It feels like- who cares?' He scoffs, 'This is all you want in the end, don’t you- to fucking sit here braiding one another's hair, talking about feelings.’, he stands up. He left the bourbon behind when you came here to look at the pictures, you’re certain he’s going back to it now. It should upset you maybe, this whole thing, and it does in a way, but really all you feel is dangerously reckless.

You’ve been dancing this dance with Jake since yesterday and the pattern already feels familiar like the back of your hand- he takes you where he wants to, and you follow. But everything is liquid here, remember? Everything can slip and slide, so why not this? Why not you- the essence of you? Maybe you’ll drop some tinder in this pattern, throw a match, watch the fireworks light up the sky or the wildfire as everything burns down.

‘Your hair is too short, but I would put makeup on you.’, you say, stopping him in his tracks, ‘And acting like you’re da shit because you love avoiding talking about feelings? You’re a walking cliché, Jake. What a fucking shame.’

He turns back at you, incredulous, ‘What the fuck are you talking about?’

‘You know exactly what I’m talking about.’, you stand up, swinging right into his personal space, ‘You don’t have to talk to me. But you know what I think? I think maybe you couldn’t if you wanted to, because you don’t know how, and you’re too fucking stubborn to let anyone take the time and help.’

‘What do you mean, help? I don’t need help-‘

‘Nooo, you never do, do you?’ He’s breathing hard, and so are you. His blue eyes blaze, but you don’t take yours off them. ‘Whatever. You’ll ‘deal’,', you make the air quotes, ‘Drink your drinks and do your wild parties with folks at work and Home Bar or whatever- worst name for a bar ever by the way- but guess what? I’ll still be too wild for you- with my makeup and talking about feelings.’

You think you’ve made Jake genuinely speechless, and it sends tiny sparks of thrill through your whole body. You feel a bit insane- this is so not you. But maybe this was always you, and how’d you ever know without a guy like Jake?

‘You think you’re too wild for me.’, Jake has found his voice. He enunciates every single word, low and silky- something between a growl and a purr that makes your throat go dry. He looks like he’s seeing you for the first time.

‘You’ll let me put makeup on you, then?’, you challenge, and when he doesn’t say anything, you lean in even more, your breasts touching his chest, and whisper, ‘Pussy.’ You never did put your bra back on, and both your cardigan and your top are thin- you know he can feel your nipples through them, erect and hard, and you don’t even know if that happened because of the cold or something else entirely.

His eyes flash, and his tongue flicks out to slowly touch his bottom lip. Then he reaches out and winds his fingers through the hair on the back of your head, clenching a fistful, tipping your head up. Lowering his mouth to your ear, his hot breath sending a shiver down your spine, he says, ‘Do your fucking worst. And then we’ll see.’

Hour 36

Your Junior/Senior year at high school was the time around which makeup channels on Youtube were getting really big. You weren’t that much into it but other girls at school were. You saw a chance to make a little money. By the time you graduated, you’d gathered a decent stash of items, had reasonably good skills, and had done more than 50 makeup jobs for girls in your town for fees. It wasn’t much money- $10 here, $20 there- but everything counted in your household. You haven’t done any of it since high school, and you’ve never regretted that more, because if you did, you’d have your stash with you right now. As it is, all you have is a pencil liner, a mascara, and a lip tint.

This will have to do. Jake is still seething, but underneath that, you think he’s a bit nervous about the prospect of wearing makeup for what you assume is the first time. And even though you shouldn’t, you’re really, really enjoying making him nervous. You take your time, sitting him down on the side of the bed and standing a foot away, looking at him cocking your head, going, ‘Hmm, I would definitely do a smokey eye on you. Grays, silver metallics. Not matte. Maybe even all shimmer, if I was feeling inspired…’

You know he’s got no idea what you’re talking about, and he doesn’t know you can’t do any of that, so he sits there and tries to burn you with his glare, his mouth pinched in that pout that you now think is sexy. You step closer, gently lifting his face up with fingers of your both hands. That death glare is locked with your eyes now, and you have a moment of doubt suddenly- what are you doing?- but then you’re distracted by the whole view- cream-smooth skin, midnight hair, dark furrowed brows, fiery blue eyes, angry swollen lips, a raw and wild energy coming off him. Your breathing becomes shallow. Shit, this is getting out of hand already.

You get your cleansing tissues and wipe his face first. You didn’t need to do that, his face was clean. You just wanted to touch and trace his features again. You run your fingers through his hair, shoving the fringes away from his forehead. You put some moisturizer on him. You’re standing between his knees now, and as you’re doing it, you feel his hands on your body. He touches your waist, slowly runs them on your back, touches your thighs, your ass over your PJ shorts. It almost seems unintentional, involuntary, but you know it’s not.

You step away to get the other items, and then your fingers touch something else in that pocket of your backpack- oh, oh yes! It’s highlighter- the makeup kind- you picked it up for a colleague’s birthday that’s coming up and forgot to take it out of the pack. Oh, this is perfect!

You put the liner on his eyes, subtle on the top, darker and smudged on the waterline, but still not much- just to have that blue pop. He’s still touching you wherever he can reach, and you catch your breath as he plays with the edge of your top, tracing his thumb on your stomach. He squirms when you apply mascara on his lashes, blinking too much, uttering several ‘fucks’, but when you finally do manage to put it on and look at him, your heart stops for a moment. Oh, God. He looks fucking gorgeous.

You touch his lips, slowly running your thumb over them. They’re perfect, you’ll leave them as they are. His breath is warm, and just a tiny bit shaky, and so close, you can feel it on the exposed skin of your chest. Ignoring the distracting tingle between your thighs, you pick up the highlighter. You wish its was of a silvery shade, but it’s more gold. Okay, well. With your fingers, you put a little of the shimmery powder on him, keeping it subtle, but also making sure it shows and does its job- highlighting his sharp cheekbones with a trace of golden glimmer. You run your hand through his hair again, going for a windswept look. And then you’re done.

This whole thing started as a joke- or a fight, really- but as you look at Jake right now, you don’t regret a single thing about it, because he’s breathtaking, and this couldn’t have happened any other way.

You pull him by the hand, ‘Mirror. Come on.’

The one body-length mirror in his apartment is stuck on the far left wall, and it is narrow, so when you stand him in front of it, you can barely see yourself though you’re still beside him. But then he pulls you in front of him, right arm circling your stomach. Now you can see yourselves both.

‘You look stunning, just in case it’s not clear to you.’, you tell his reflection. You can’t not tell him this.

He assesses your handiwork for a few more seconds and there’s really nothing in his expression that’s different now from before- this was a thing to get through, and he did. He’s not even looking at himself anymore, he’s looking at you in the mirror. ‘Well,’, you start trying to move away, ‘as no appreciation for my hard work is forthco- aaahhhgh...‘ Your sentence trails away in a choking moan as something like a thousand-volt electric shock runs through your body, making you shudder- holding you against himself, right arm tight around you, Jake has put his left hand between your legs, grabbing you there over your shorts.

You squirm, but he doesn’t let go, and the friction this causes makes you more and more breathless. You can see yourselves in the mirror- your mouth open, eyes helpless, and Jake’s head bent low over your shoulder. He murmurs against your ear, sounding husky and dangerous, ‘A bit of ink and glitter. This was your worst? I’m so disappointed.’ His fingers rub between your thighs, and you have to swallow another moan.

‘Of course that’s- not my worst’, you say, panting, ‘Haven’t even- started on the- talking about feelings part yet- aaaaahh!’

He’s pushed a finger in, as far as it would go over your shorts and panties, and you can tell you’re wet, you’re so wet. Your whole body jerks with his touches, but his grip around you is like an iron vise, not letting you move.

‘You can do much better things’, he traces his lips on your neck and shoulder, his breath raising goosebumps on your skin, ‘with that pretty little mouth.’ Then he turns you around and kisses you, crushing your lips with his.

You don’t even remember how you end up where you do- in your underclothes and sitting between his legs, leaning back on him while he sits on the floor leaning against that couch, holding you from behind. One of his hands is running over your body- taking off your bra, he grabs your tits, circles and presses your nipples with his fingers, slides the hand over your stomach and thighs- while the other one still teases between your legs- and it is teasing. He slowly rubs you over your soaked panties, and you feel his stubble, rough and delicious against your shoulder and neck as he whispers, ‘So wet. Who’s it for?’

You don’t say anything, trying to control yourself, to not move your hips and rub yourself harder against his hand.

‘Who is it for?’, Jake’s lips are against your ear, tongue touching as he talks. He pushes his finger deeper- in and out in a quick stroke, and you gasp, ‘F-for you, Jake.’

‘Mmm.’, he’s almost purring, but it’s deep, and hoarse, and you can’t breathe. He slowly kisses your back, shoulder, the side of your face, and he hasn’t taken off any of his clothes, but you can feel his erection through his pants against the small of your back. You arch back your neck, lips parted, and he kisses those, bringing a hand on the nape of your neck. His mouth, his tongue, his kiss- so hot it seems to burn, to set you on fire, and then you jolt violently and he laughs right into the kiss- he’s hooked his thumb through the waistline of your panties and given it a sudden, strong pull up- the thin material of it is cutting on you at the soft and swollen-open place. You desperately gasp for breath, and he stops kissing you, slowly releasing your panties, then bending forward to pull them down to your knees. He leans back again. Then he does nothing.

You’re dripping wet, your thighs are spread open, and you’re ready, you’re so ready for release, but Jake’s hand isn’t there anymore. Both his arms are circling you tightly, keeping yours pinned. You try to squirm, but his legs are tangled with yours, and he uses them to keep you in place. You’re a prisoner.

A prisoner who wants to be there.

‘Ask for it.’, Jake says, breathing and nuzzling against your neck, almost sweet, ‘What do you want,-?’, he calls you by your name.

You don’t know what to say, you can’t even think anymore. Jake reaches out and touches you there again lightly. Then he takes his hand away, and you whimper. This is torture. This is exquisite, glorious torture.

‘What. Do. You. Want?’, Jake asks again against your ear.

‘I-‘, you gulp in air, ‘I want you- you to-‘

‘Me to-?’

‘Put your f-fingers in there.’, you pant, feeling the sweat spring on your chest and neck.

‘In where?’, Jake’s hand is on your inner thigh, fingertips tracing on there.

Oh, oh, so close-

‘In my pussy. Now. Please.’

And he does. In one swift motion, he’s almost knuckles deep inside you, and you clamp down your jaw trying to push back the scream. You’re breathless in anticipation for his fingers to start moving, but they don’t. Instead, Jake says, ‘What did you do that for?’

You have no idea what he means, and you don’t care. You sway your hips, trying to feel him deeper inside you. Another groan wants to escape, and you swallow again.

‘Don’t do that.’, Jake’s voice is hoarse, but this is different, because this is not a game, or a command, ‘You don’t have to be quiet. Let it out. Let me hear you.’

You’ve never thought about this before, but all the times you had sex in the past, you’ve never felt comfortable being loud, making the sounds that formed in your throat. So many times it was a shitty place you were doing it in, privacy fragile, and other times you knew the partner (aka your ex) wouldn’t like it. But right now- right now it’s Jake and this empty apartment, and he’s asking you, and maybe there are neighbors, but so what?

You ease into it as Jake’s fingers start to move inside you- audible gasps and tiny moans, but they get longer, and louder, and now you couldn’t stop if you wanted to. He’s making rhythmic strokes while using his thumb to rub on just the perfect spot, and every single one of your nerve endings feel like they’re fused with live wires. You have slid forward to open yourself up more, thighs angled up, and as you let your head fall back against Jake’s chest, he watches you, arm around your back. He doesn’t take his eyes off your face as you let out helpless moans, mouth open, lips quivering, eyes hazy with desire, and you can’t stop looking at his face either- it’s like looking at a mirror. He’s pleasuring you but just by seeing you get there, listening to you moan and scream for him, he’s almost getting there with you. His breathing is ragged, and as you near climax, they become shuddering gasps, matching the rhythm of your repeating moaning. When you’re on the edge, he pulls up your head towards his and kisses you, hungry and scorching, and your final scream sinks into the kiss as you come violently against his hand, back arching, thighs shaking uncontrollably.

He doesn’t give you time to settle- in moments his clothes are off and he’s turned you around, pulling you to his lap, your thighs straddling his. You’ve never done it in this position before but you don’t even have to think as you slowly slide him inside you, big and thick and stiff, and start to move. Every one of your senses feel like they’re overloaded, but you can’t stop wanting more. He has one of his elbows up on the couch, supporting himself, the other arm around your waist. Both your hands are on his shoulders, then you reach out with one of them and sink it in his hair. You kiss him as you move, and with the blue in his dark-rimmed, thick-lashed eyes liquid, hair messed, blood rushing into his cheeks under the shimmer, mouth wet and letting out hot gasps, you’ve never seen anything so arousing in your goddamned fucking life. Neither of you last very long, and as you climax together, your eyes are locked for a moment, and you don’t see punishment, or powerplay, or dominance, all you see is trust. It was what it was but now he’s giving himself to you, totally, and you give yourself to him, falling onto him and holding him tightly as the orgasms wrack through you both. You don’t know when you started it, but you’re sighing his name over and over, and then you hear him do the same- he says your name, groans it out, again and again, and yes, yes, let me hear you, Jake. Let me hear you.

[Update: Part 6 (last part)]

[cxmembert]

1: Ai-Lin

2: erm… Jim Carrey age*65280

3: May 7th!!

4: Taurus

5: lilac

6: 32

7: two dogs!

8: 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

9: 5’3 | 162cm

10: no clue tbh

11: 3

12: idk but something about swimming pools and @b4nd1tm1ss1ng

13: music (i can play piano + kazoo) n art (i think?)

14: nope

15: Decent Cancer by Ashbury Heights

16: tie between Dead Poets Society (1989), Lord of the Flies (1960) and Nineteen Eighty Four (1984)

17: @b4nd1tm1ss1ng 💗💗

18: adopted, maybe

19: nope, Pittsie and I already thought of a funnier way to get married

20: I believe in the fundamentals of Satanism if that counts?

21: mhm!

22: technically no

23: not really met, but i once saw Simon Cowell in a restaurant when i was younger

24: showers all the way

25: 🏳️‍🌈

26: no

27: no

28: screamo/punk/rock! I’m also a massive Cosmo Sheldrake fan though, so like, folktronica?

29: no

30: none (pillows make me feel weird)

31: on my side

32: no clue but i live in a 1-story

33: usually i skip breakfast but i’d snag some butteries if i ever feel like it

34: no because australia and scotland has laws preventing minors having easy access to guns es em etch..

35: during school camps!

36: flabbergasted

37: twatwaffle

38: 2 days

39: i have: ‘gills’ on my arms and waist, scar on my leg and scarred tissue on both arms

40: James from my old school who was insanely homophobic and had no clue i was trans

41: depends

42: probably not

43: my accent is already a weird blend, but i can put on a much heavier british/scottish accent

44: Pittsie thought so when we first met, so i guess?

45: australian (Pittsie’s accent basically)

46: ISFP-T

47: my cardigan

48: mhm

49: innie

50: left handed

51: yes

52: laksa!

53: fairybread?? idk

54: clean (neat freak)

55: ‘youre a bloody wanker!’

56: fuck (it’s my default word when i begin stuttering, i just abruptly shout it and i can get back to talking as normal)

57: 5 minutes

58: ??

59: bite

60: yea

61: naturally

62: 110% no but it’s fun when my friends and i get together to do karaoke!

63: abandonment or betrayal

64: i only engage in gossip if other people start talking about it first, but i usually just remain by the sidelines for the most of it

65: Dead Poets Society?

66: short! long is a PAIN to maintain

67: without google, no 😅

68: english!

69: introvert

70: mhm! the jellyfish had a good time stinging my face though

71: needing to talk in front of people and confronting others

72: no

73: depends on what kind of mistake

74: very 😭

75: nope

76: like, once in 6th grade for 20 minutes

77: no

78: no

79: girl from my class back in early middle school

80: 2

81: mhm

82: honestly, pretty fast when i want to

83: no clue (im asthmatic so i just kinda instantly stop breathing the moment i start running)

84: dark brown

85: hazel

86: pineapple, pollen, bandaids, fake blood, hay, bug bites

87: i do! i just forget to write in it most days

88: my mums a GP and my dad is a mechanical engineer

89: what

90: the phrase ‘is that okay?‘ and ‘are you okay?’ for some reason (only when said by specific people though)

91: mhm! i picked it myself 😊

92: haven’t thought of baby names yet

93: haven’t thought of a kid

94: i know karate + sharp teeth

95: all my allergies + asthma

96: i chose it!

97: idk

98: already answered this

99: white

100: white/blue

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

PLEASE DON’T LET THIS FLOP AHHHH

1. What is you middle name? 2. How old are you? 3. When is your birthday? 4. What is your zodiac sign? 5. What is your favorite color? 6. What’s your lucky number? 7. Do you have any pets? 8. Where are you from? 9. How tall are you? 10. What shoe size are you? 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 12. What was your last dream about? 13. What talents do you have? 14. Are you psychic in any way? 15. Favorite song? 16. Favorite movie? 17. Who would be your ideal partner? 18. Do you want children? 19. Do you want a church wedding? 20. Are you religious? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 24. Baths or showers? 25. What color socks are you wearing? 26. Have you ever been famous? 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? 28. What type of music do you like? 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 31. What position do you usually sleep in? 32. How big is your house? 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 34. Have you ever fired a gun? 35. Have you ever tried archery? 36. Favorite clean word? 37. Favorite swear word? 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 39. Do you have any scars? 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 41. Are you a good liar? 42. Are you a good judge of character? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? 44. Do you have a strong accent? 45. What is your favorite accent? 46. What is your personality type? 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 48. Can you curl your tongue? 49. Are you an innie or an outie? 50. Left or right handed? 51. Are you scared of spiders? 52. Favorite food? 53. Favorite foreign food? 54. Are you a clean or messy person? 55. Most used phrased? 56. Most used word? 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 58. Do you have much of an ego? 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? 60. Do you talk to yourself? 61. Do you sing to yourself? 62. Are you a good singer? 63. Biggest Fear? 64. Are you a gossip? 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 66. Do you like long or short hair? 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? 68. Favorite school subject? 69. Extrovert or Introvert? 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? 71. What makes you nervous? 72. Are you scared of the dark? 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? 74. Are you ticklish? 75. Have you ever started a rumor? 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? 77. Have you ever drank underage? 78. Have you ever done drugs? 79. Who was your first real crush? 80. How many piercings do you have? 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ 82. How fast can you type? 83. How fast can you run? 84. What color is your hair? 85. What color is your eyes? 86. What are you allergic to? 87. Do you keep a journal? 88. What do your parents do? 89. Do you like your age? 90. What makes you angry? 91. Do you like your own name? 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? 94. What are you strengths? 95. What are your weaknesses? 96. How did you get your name? 97. Were your ancestors royalty? 98. Do you have any scars? 99. Color of your bedspread? 100. Color of your room?

[eatingoutmen]

.... 7 am...? BRO IT'S 1:30 AM HERE You're in the future fr fr

💌 : 𝜗𝜚 I know, it’s crazy😭 Like it’s so fucking early here and i’m just working on some random thrists/drabbles of Sergio/Professor bcuz idk what else to post to feed ya’ll :(( i’m clearly obsessed with that man so bad that I think i need to be sedated and placed 10 miles away from him if I ever met him (which sadly I can’t🙁) And yeah i think I am in the future, time flies pretty fast… 𝜗𝜚

[brattyfrenchvampire]

It's been 1 month and surprisingly harder than I thought to not drink. We've gone months and even over a year before without trying. I think it's that finality that is difficult. It was easy when I had a choice and just said no. Where saying "I can't" or "I don't" makes me want to fight back for some reason. I suppose I felt I had more control when I chose when I drank versus abstaining. (I'm aware of how much that's an addict's thoughts.)

Alcohol is a tricky thing. For one it's everywhere and for cheap. Also, if you turn down someone's "gift" of a shot or drink they take it personal. I'm not even talking about the guys trying to get into anyone's pants. (Though they're annoying as well.) You have people from your own group that will order drinks without asking you. It's lightning fast, "here do these shots, also here's a whole drink...we're leaving in 5 minutes so you better slam it. It has red bull in it." Okay, yeah the last time I was at a bar I really didn't care for dude bros pressuring me. I actually can have fun without alcohol, besides I know my own pace best. I can drink fast but I don't chug. Idk it felt very disrespectful. (Besides this vessel needing to avoid caffeine for our heart. Yes, have an energy drink. It will give you wings when your heart flies out of your throat.)

Anyways, I might be hanging out with some of the group this week and I'm sure we'll end up at a bar or someone's house with booze and I'll have to tell them I don't drink anymore. I wish that was something that was more accepted. I don't care if they want to drink around me, I'll still hang out at bars with them, nothing is changing other than I don't want alcohol in this vessel. How does 1 sober person affect anyone's fun? I'm not policing what they want to do and put into their own bodies. I'm certainly not judging either. If they're that weirded out by it I can always have an edible or smoke. Like why does everyone have to do the same stuff?

It's horrible but part of me says that since I'm done drinking, I should have one last blow out. 1 more fun time. Why?! Non, it's a good thing the last time was so terrible. That's what I need to remember. Being dehydrated, having fucking neurologic issues, probably needed to go to the hospital. That's the reality of drinking. I always take it that step too far. I think I'm tougher than what I am. I've never had a drinking problem where it was too often. But why is it every other time I drink I go on a bender? That is a problem. The quantity, it's too much. It's dangerous even, I need to treat this vessel better it's fragile as is. I've had a couple nights I thought a drink or two would be nice. There was 1 night it was pretty bad, shocked me actually, as I never considered I had a problem with alcohol. I've made it a month, how can I even entertain the idea of one more hurrah? And throw that month away? This will be more challenging than I originally thought, but it's worth it.

[1nkwe4ver]

Honestly I think it’s just the natural “extreme” of his power. Like how we saw Diego’s bullet manipulation possibility in the season 2 opening. I don’t remember for sure, but I feel like Reginald experimented on him to make him hit that strength in previous seasons, and then it was only possible through a means that forced those ape features on him. Now Luther’s ape mode is just there because they’re all at “extremes” for their powers.

I’m more confused with Lila, Allison, and Klaus’s new tricks.

Like for me the others at least make a little sense-

Luther- Super strength and durability charged to even more strength and durability with the side effect of unlocking animal genes- similar unlock to what Reginald experimented out of him before

Diego-Okay normally bullets are so tiny fast and forceful it never even occurred to him to try his powers on them because it was ridiculous, supercharged to doing it on instinct- very cool and clear

Five-Teleporting through space and traveling through time supercharged to teleporting to a place that lets him travel through timelines- there’s enough connection I buy it and it’s compelling

Six-The monster in his chest is now a part of him and the tentacles are now his. (Not sure if this is what happens but that’s the way I interpreted it)

Viktor-Already OP monster power is difficult to supercharge- I feel like they kinda pulled it off well though. It felt almost like they made it smaller, and counter intuitively made Viktor stronger as a result- because instead of him being this slow build bomb that’s almost too powerful to be of use without causing friendly fire, suddenly his power can be summoned really quickly and directed in little energy balls right at his targets.

But then there’s Allison, Klaus, and Lila.

Allison-Okay sure not having to say “I have a rumor” makes sense. But she only controls someone’s mind once this way. Mostly the power up they focus on with her is like, telekinesis or something? What’s the connection there? I feel like they should have leaned into the way they portrayed her supercharged in the S2 opening, where she still “heard a rumor” but instead of just controlling minds, it affected physical reality. Could have achieved most of the same things she did with her telekinesis, even. “I heard a rumor, I busted your balls” type deal.

Klaus-So okay? His powers are the same but…He floats/flies? (And why did they bother with the trick shaky table when he could have just made things look believably mystical by floating in front of them idk). He also just doesn’t use it. We see him get the ability just with a throwaway moment of him chilling meditating and floating and they use it in one moment at the end where they would have usually used a pre-Season 4 Five blink. Otherwise he’s just got his normal abilities. It’s possible he unconsciously made Thunderbolt’s barking audible, but as he made Luther essentially completely physically present in Season 3, that doesn’t seem new.

And Lila- Power mimicry supercharged is fucking eye lasers? Her original power isn’t even visual, she mimics Viktor’s powers in S3 through a closed door. I feel like they just wanted to give her a power that was completely her own but it was just really jarring and random. I would have liked to see her become a shapeshifter, or create clones of herself, or travel through mirrors- or all of those things, or any combination of those things, or just ANYTHING relevant.

Not even all I want to say, but I’m gonna cut off my tangent so I can sleep lol.

Someone please answer me why does LUTHER HAVE THE APE BODY

That's not his default

His default is super strength

Please explain someone please

[noelssluttt]

Can’t stop thinking about camerons comments since i read them about noel

First one is that “he didn’t think would noel come here ,and he want noel to leave his house more “

The other one was when a fan asked noel about coming to london he said “I’m down” but cam didn’t here it and said something about noel “not doing it “

When the fan informed him about noel coming he said “yeah i love london”

I fully understand noel side , not wanting to leave the house and having no energy or patience to do the stuff you really want to do

It is hard and the more you spend time at home the more you don’t want to leave

Most his hobbies are ‘alone ‘ hobbies you don’t talk to people doing them

.painting .reading .working out .writing ,All of it is stuff you do alone

Funny enough that’s literally what i do everyday + leaving for class not talking to anyone then coming back to my studio to just set there and do ‘alone ‘ stuff alone

I wouldn’t say i feel lonely and i don’t think he does ,He have a wife yeah but staying in your own bubble everyday doing your own thing ,Watching something and reading something I don’t think they have conversations as much as you think a married couple ‘should’

Being in a relationship for 2 decades is pretty much living with a sibling you don’t talk to them a lot you just exist in the same house ,In different parts of the house ,His house is pretty big not small so they have a lot of space between them

I can imagine him waking up going to work out coming back settling on his phone - reading a little-phone again -eat something-phone again-talk a little with wife -phone again -write?nothing no inspiration-phone again -work out 2-eat-phone again on bed -sleep,And coffee here and there

Is it lonely?not really you don’t really feel it you don’t feel much it’s like you’re sleep walking and time just flies by ,You do tell yourself your doing something but you forget about it somehow ,And now you’re back at square one

Do i want him to do everything and for this con to help him? Yeah ,But it’s not that easy ,He would probably finish his life like this ,Like a zombie until the end ,Dying like that is not weird or never happened before it happens all the time the difference is he’s famous and have people looking at him

Part of me is very thankful to cameron for trying to get noel out and i do really wish it work and noel slowly starts to do stuff with other people

Seeing noel in that prospective is like seeing a pov of myself ,And understanding how hard and stressful it is to want to do something and feeling useless even when you’re as useful as you can ,It’s hard because in your mind time is going really really fast , your brain is off most of the time

And for other people it’s not as fast so you see them do all this stuff and you feel like shit for not doing anything ,Then you’re literally back at square one,Trying to get out of it

Some call it a depression unending circle , going to therapy and getting medication is not going to fix it ,Literally noel is the only person who can fix it ,and it’s sad , even if he want to fix it it’s not just like that,It requires a lot of strength and patience to go through

I couldn’t do it so i just live with it and try my best to live next to it

part of me thought maybe noel did that too? He gave up? He just live with it and wait until somehow it goes be itself,he doesn’t have enough strength to try getting out of it ,he said it himself he’s not a strong person

It’s a very depressing topic but i couldn’t shake out Cameron comments out of my head

Now I think that’s the last time we see him out this year

Idk fuck this

[i-am-cesear]

I don't know much about BSD because I still did not watched most of the things nor I read the manga but Tanizaki is my ultimate favorite character since he played the bomber and I also want to say stuff about him. So. Yeah. Also, the last time I watched BSD was Cannibalism Arc so my examples are coming mostly from that and before Cannibalism.

I love how Tanizaki makes himself look like this weak, ordinary guy who is not flashy like other ADA members and "not having an ability suitable for combat" but played the bomber so well, almost choked Higuchi to death, almost killed Gin AND Mori and flies a freaking helicopter. If Akutagawa was not there, Higuchi was fucked. The way he used his ability in Anne's room?? That guy knew what he was suppose to do and he was great at it.

I agree about how he is close to evil because I remember how he was so ready to kill Mori without blinking. He was like, "Would that save the President? Ok, let's kill Mori." And I am not a Mori supporter or anything, don't get me wrong but he had no moral compass about it. When he sees red, then it's over. He never thinks about consequences or possible guilt of taking someone's life. We saw him being shy and guilty after he played the bomber, he apologized to Atsushi for tricking him like that but he only felt that because there was no real danger and it was "just a role". When it's about Naomi and her safety, he never thinks anything else but violance. When Steinback talked about Naomi, he was immediatly in killer mode. When Hirotsu said that Gin is an assassin and she can just kill Naomi, his whole personality changes. He is not that shy, weak guy anymore.

I love my evil guy so much, he have a great potential to be an awsome assassin. If I remember correctly, even Hirotsu said that he had that potential. Which is so cool.

Also. I know it was actually the real life author Junichiro Tanizaki who was afraid of earthquakes but there should be something about that in BSD Tanizaki's backstory too. It is kinda weird how his dislikes is not related to Naomi, like "Losing Naomi" or "Naomi getting hurt" or maybe even "Naomi being too flirty with him when they are in public." It's just. Earthquakes. I wonder if we'll ever see anything about that either.

(maybe he is not afraid of losing naomi because naomi is actually not real and she is a product of Light Snow. I read a theory like that years ago, idk whose theory was that and i kinda like that theory too. because when we think about it, we don't know much about Light Snow either. We only know that it can cover only some area and when he was trapped in Mori's bedroom, he said that because Ozaki's demons was too fast, he will die but how long can he put Light Snow?? How big can he make it??? )

So. Junichiro Tanizaki is a really cool character. I don't like it how much people hate them because of the most likely references to the actual book and being sexual and "being siblings", meanwhile Naomi literally made herself a shield for Junichiro and Junichiro tried to kill multiple people just for Naomi. I'm glad I read Naomi and knew their sibling act is MOST LIKELY not real. I just know that he have so much story and characteristics and I hope that we will see more of him.

I will finish my words with this bomber Tanizaki. This was my PC wallpaper for years, I think. This face can't be just "an act", come on.

Do you have any thoughts or insights about tanizaki? We’ve known him for so long but I feel like I still know little to nothing about him 😭

That was the truth. He had made it this far in life because he was easily swayed by others. He went along with Kunikida’s scheme because he was asked to, and he was going to play the bomber because that was the role shoved onto him. Despite having a slightly bizarre skill, he wasn’t great in combat like the other agents, nor was he especially cunning. Tanizaki didn’t have any mortal enemies, nor did he have a dark past or any trauma. He was an ordinary guy. The only thing he really even wished for was his little sister’s happiness. - A Day at the Detective Agency (from The Untold Origins of the Detective Agency light novel)

Tanizaki sees himself as a pretty average guy, as someone without a notable past or fancy skills... and as a pushover. He doesn't really have convictions besides "Naomi" and goes along just about anything. But...

Tanizaki is the person who comes the closest to “evil” among all the Detective Agency employees. This is what I always tell everyone involved in this work. [...] [...] Tanizaki hit the enemy with the truck of a civilian who happened to pass by. By doing that, the truck would be completely destroyed and the driver would not be able to come out intact. But Tanizaki couldn’t care less about such things. Because for him, justice, morality or peace for the people, all come after his “sister”. - Asagiri, for the bsd expo (source and complete translation)

Tanizaki is canonically leaning on the "evil" side of bsd's grey morality. Since he has no bigger motivation than keeping Naomi safe, he'd do just about anything for her, no matter the price. He is in a good place, being at the Agency, where he is surrounded by people who do want to uphold great ideals and help others. However, he was also very quick to offer himself up as tribute to be transferred to the Port Mafia in Yosano's place. Again, he's a pushover at heart and lets himself drift around as the people around him see fit.

Naomi being his "sister" is probably a cover of some sort, since the book she's based on had exactly that (a scandalous marriage hidden behind a false, more familial relationship). Even our Naomi points out that she and Tanizaki look nothing alike (while groping him) and seems to make a show of their supposed relationship. There's no way they are actual blood siblings, and there definitely is a story behind that. There's also that book Naomi was making her husband, who was obsessed with her, do whatever she pleased. It matches our Tanizaki's pushover nature and our Naomi's assertiveness, at least as inspiration.

That's about as much of an input we have of him at this time, but Kenji's backstory was just revealed, so surely Tanizaki's turn will come... his ability came from somewhere, he met Naomi somewhere, he got into the ADA someway/somehow... and even if it's ultimately not that eventful... well... characters can get their trauma during the story, instead of before...

[lunar-fey]

vent or whatever.

when y. when you dont get to eat dinner bc youre broke bc youre disabled and cant hold a job and your parents buy your food but they dont believe in things like "digestive disorders" or "dietary needs" so they basically tell you to either eat something that will make you sick or not eat at all bc they cant go to 3 different places to pick up food and skerples already cant eat the food everyone else eats (autism). and then they get mad at YOU when youre like okay. guess i will not eat then. because they are like ogh youre just being mean because you hate me stip trying to be special and eat it even though it makes you sick like the rest of us >:( like SORRY id rather not eat at all than eat something that will make me throw up. (me and dad have had extended arguments over this. he truly cannot understand this concept and thinks that everyone should eat things that they hate or that make them sick because its food and no one should ever be allowed to like. customize their food or get something else))

they did get me like some potatoes but 1. its like. 3 bites worth (none of us knew it would be that small) and it also tastes awful (i really didnt want to get anything but again they got really pissed at me for saying i just wouldnt eat then (not even like. in a passive agressive way i was just like. uhhh well i think im too sick to eat any of this. itll be fine) and looked like they were gonna cry about me not getting food. like idk but if you care that much about me eating then maybe stop picking the same 2 fast food places that you KNOW and have known for years that i cant eat at. maybe then you wouldnt have to feel bad or whatever. or maybe the real issue is just that you WANT to feel wronged by me + a refusal to accept that people can be sick for their whole lives bc you have been sick for your whole life but refuse to accept it. mom literally cant work and is on ssi bc of her disabilities but also disabilities arent real and no on has them and everyone can just try hard enough to overcome their symptoms. except her of course, because shes your wife. but fuck those kids tho. no matter how old they get they are still too young to have any type of medical problem, because kids are immune to medical problems and adults can simply will them away.)

anyway this time it was taco bell but also just because i want to get this off my chest too im adding it. normally they get like burgers and i can only tolerate mcdonalds burgers and bk to an extent (as far as wjats availble here. i knos everyone hates mcd burgers but they dont upset my stomach like everything else. idk why. they dont taste like a burger but whatever they do taste like is good to me. mostly i think they just taste like salt) and the sheer RAGE dad flies into every SINGLE time he asks what i want and i say i want a cheeseburger with no mustard. he LOOSES HIS SHIT. EVERY SINGLE TIME HE YELLS AT ME FOR IT. im like sorry man but if its got mustard im not gonna eat it. its disgusting. i dont want you to waste money on food im not going to eat. and he gets SO MAD. he doesnt WANT to save money; he wants me to be the perfect little military brat he tried to raise me as who never speaks unless spoken to or asks questions and does as hes told and eats disgusting slop and vomits and says thank you sir. can i please have more sir. and it AINT ME.

anyway if you wanted to know why im bad at starting conversations and you read this far uh. now you know. the ability to speak to someone else first got beaten out of me its not even anxiety i get so scared of getting introuble for starting a conversation that i black out and forget every single interest ive ever had. BUT if someone else starts for me im okay <3

[noxtivagus]

I'M SO LATE I ONLY FOUND OUT NOW BUT </3 SQUEALING SMILING APOLLO JUST TOLD ME THERE'S A PREVIEW FOR UHHH TWEYEN SILVA CHARACTER SONG ???? I JUST SQEUALED N SMILED HELP MY HEART....