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[gwenmontrose]

Of Crossbows and Lawyers

@jilymicrofics February Prompt List | No. 8: Uncertainty

Words: 1.6k

First time writing in English, so I really hope it's decent! Inspired by one of my favourite scenes of one of my favourite tv series, Fleabag 💕

Lily Evans never had problems with the law during the first twenty-eight years of her life.

On the contrary, everyone who knew her would describe her as the model citizen. No speed tickets, no minor thefts, not even a single fine for a book returned late to the local library.

Nothing.

Even her appearance was one of a sensible, intelligent young woman, polite and well-mannered, with that kind of innate beauty that made people in the streets turn around to look at her.

She was, in her words, completely and utterly ordinary.

So, it was with a little bit of a shock that she found herself – at the ripe age of twenty-eight and two days – walking down the corridor of a posh London law firm, in her best suit, desperately trying to keep up with the marching pace of her sister, and just a few moments away from meeting her brand-new solicitor for the first time.

It was even more shocking that Petunia, of all people, was the one helping her out of the legal mess she found herself in, but life had taken a very unexpected turn just a few days before, so Lily had wisely decided to accept any given hand and not to question her neurotic older sister.

Besides, it wasn’t as if Petunia had decided to help her out of pure goodness of heart, or in the name of sisterly affection. When she had found out that Lily had been arrested during a peaceful march for women’s rights, which had unfortunately turned into an out-of-control riot, she had been positively horrified.

«Just think of what this could mean for Vernon’s imminent promotion!» she had hissed on the phone when Lily had called her, as if her precious’ husband’s boss could care less about his sister-in-law’s misdeeds. «We have to clean up your reputation quickly, before anyone else comes to know about this. You need the best defence attorney we can get»

She hadn’t even wanted to listen to Lily’s explanation.

«I don’t care if you were wrongly mistaken for the person who actually broke that window with a homemade crossbow» she had said, almost growling. «I just want to fucking erase your criminal record and be done with this nonsense»

Petunia had probably cursed only three other times in her entire life. Lily had been so stunned that she forgot how to speak for a good twenty minutes.

Therefore, Lily found herself in a truly surreal situation, but maybe this time her sister’s love for order and propriety was going to be her salvation, instead of a constant pain in the ass.

As they were approaching the attorney’s office, Petunia started to rattle off a long and interminable list of dos and don’ts and basic rules of what she defined as “civil interaction”, adding here and there sparse information about the man who was going to represent her.

«He’s on top of his game» she said, stiffly, marching with unexpected sureness down the corridor. «Maybe a bit too young, but he managed to pull Dave Thomas out of a very, very tight corner last year»

«Wasn’t Dave Thomas the one who broke into his ex-wife’s house to steal her –»

«Yes, Lily, and we don’t talk about this in public, please. He was Vernon’s groomsman at our wedding» Petunia levelled her with an icy stare and then went on. «Now, I hear this lawyer has the best success rate of his firm and he agreed to take your case because he’s apparently a feminist» Her mouth twisted in a strange grimace as she said the word. «Or something like that»

«It appears he still has a little bit of integrity left after defending Dave Thomas» muttered Lily. «Good for him»

«I’ve already filled him with the basics» Petunia ploughed on, ignoring her comment. «Just be serious, will you?»

«I’ll do my best»

«And do whatever he says»

«What if he asks me to –»

«And don’t flirt with him»

Lily was so taken aback that she almost burst out laughing. She rearranged her face in the most disbelieving expression she could manage, as if she were extremely offended by Petunia’s admonition, and scoffed: «I’m not going to f –»

Then the door of the office in front of them opened abruptly and the most gorgeous man Lily had ever seen appeared behind it.

«– fucking hell, okay» she concluded in a whisper.

He was tall, dark, handsome in a very effortless way, with warm hazel eyes behind stylish glasses and a stupid, infectious grin dancing on perfect full lips. He was wearing what was with all probability a tailored black suit, for it seemed almost stitched on his lean and athletic body, and he carried himself with that type of self-confidence that could only belong to a person who didn’t know the feeling of uncertainty.

Lily had always thought lawyers were kind of sexy, but she had never seen such a fine specimen and for a moment she almost felt grateful for the absurd situation that had led her to meet him.

Then she remembered she was going to be taken to trial for vandalism and private property damage and her enthusiasm dimmed a little bit.  

«Right on time!» he said, almost jovially, as if he hadn’t just flipped Lily’s world upside down. «Miss and Mrs Dursley, I assume?»

«Miss Evans» Petunia hastily corrected him. «She’s my sister. I’ve taken my husband’s last name»

The exquisite man in front of them smiled kindly – Lily noted that a dimple appeared on his left cheek when he did that – and then hold out his hand to her.

She shook it weakly.

«I’m James Potter» he said.

Even his name was attractive, for fuck’s sake.

«And I suppose you are the dangerous criminal who smashed open a shop window during a very illegal and reprehensible revolt against the status quo» he continued. «How disappointing of you»

Lily blinked.

«I’m joking!» he exclaimed, after a beat. Then he smiled, almost in a mischievous way. «My mother was at the march, too, you know?»

«What?!» Lily and Petunia gasped, the former with incredulous surprise, the latter with clear distaste.

«Oh, yes» he confirmed to both, proudly, before turning again his attention back to Lily. «But I dare say she was a little bit more fortunate than you, since she managed to hail a taxi and come home before everything went south»

«Lucky her» mumbled Lily.

«I must say, though, I’m very curious about the whole homemade crossbow affair» he went on. His eyes, which were sparkling with mirth, searched her in a way that made her feel strangely seen. «I know you don’t just judge a book from its cover, but you don’t seem the type to assemble Medieval weapons in her basement as a hobby»

«Usually I prefer something more traditional as reading a book on a park bench, but sometimes I like to change, you know, to liven up my life» Lily immediately said, forgetting everything about her predicament and her sister’s rules and not flirting with one’s lawyer.

«I think it’s a wonderful way to do so» James agreed. «Even if it occasionally lands you in the local prison»

«It was just a police station»

«My bad, miss Evans» he said, before smiling again. «Apologies»

«So» Petunia interjected, stiffly, before Lily could open her mouth, interrupting their conversation with the timing of a huge pimple on the day of an important date. «I see you hit it off wonderfully»

If James heard the razor-sharp quality of her voice, he didn’t seem to be put off by it.

«I think we’ll get along fine» he commented.

She really needed to stop thinking about him in very different and spicier scenarios.

«Yeah» she said weakly, trying to ignore the “don’t fuck your lawyer” look that Petunia was furiously sending her. As if she could afford to risk her dignity and pristine criminal record just for the thrill to sleep with her attorney. Even if he was something akin to a model. «You can go, Petunia. I’ll manage on my own from here»

Petunia scrunched her nose in a very irritated way, but didn’t dare to argue with her in front of a relative stranger. So, after giving her a stern and reproachful look, she hitched her bag to her shoulder and said a polite and detached goodbye to James.

«I’ll see you later» she said to her and, with a last warning stare, she went off in the opposite direction, disappearing down the long corridor and finally leaving them alone.

For a moment, they both remained silent.

Then James chuckled, almost to himself, and took a step back into his office.

«Shall we get started?» he said, beckoning her to follow him inside. «I’d hate for you to go to prison, miss Evans»

«I really hope you’re good at what you do, because I have no plans to do so in the immediate future» she replied, honestly, and then, feeling strangely bold now that her sister wasn’t there, she added: «You can call me Lily, by the way»

«I don’t think it’s proper for me to be on a first-name basis with my clients» James argued, but his voice was teasing. He sat behind a large mahogany desk that probably was worth a small fortune and invited her to take a seat in front of him. «But maybe I can make an exception for you. Lily»

Lily laughed and shook her head.

When she woke up that morning, she didn’t think that at the end of the day she would find herself in much more trouble than she already was, but it seemed like it was totally going in that direction.

And she certainly wasn’t going to complain about it.

[federoman]

Hey und guten Abend! Ich bin auf der Suche nach Schreiberlingen. Mir fällt es seit dem Ende von VZ schwer Schreiber zu finden, aber ich möchte nun aktiv dagegen vorgehen. Stichpunkte zu mir sind: FSK18 (alles kann vorkommen), Erzählperspektive 3. Person, Romanschreiber, Genre wäre grob gesagt Fantasy (kann und darf gerne in etwas düstere Gefilde abschweifen), Länge der Texte sind ca 1-1 1/2 Word Seiten, 1-2 Mal wöchentlich, manchmal auch mehr. Ich freue mich über jeden Schreiber!

—

[seven-oh-four]

character misses their shot and the villain goes "ha! you missed." and the main character goes "did i?" and then shoots the villain again while they're frantically looking around the room for what the hero could possibly have aiming for instead

[beguilingcorpse]

[codecicle]

MY FAVORITE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS' PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE!!!!

[ahotknife]

YOU don’t have to be perfect to be loved. but I do

[erros429]

roommate texted this to me……..

[toothwormfactory]

[badass-space-fish]

No shade to the stuff that’s currently trending at this very moment or the people posting the things. But. Today is an anniversary of a variety of major world events and NONE of them are trending.

For those who are unaware:

It’s literally autism day in every way yet it’s not trending

[histrionicscribbler]

hi everyone i hope you dont mind if i

(hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws) (hits you with my paws)

[calware]

shoutout to lil hal

[beguilingcorpse]

[codecicle]

Guys I'm so glad everyone loves hit JRWI campaign: The Suckening so much. 12 thousand notes on just a thumbnail that's so cool. Anyone think about emizel pussy-out post revival

[silvermoon424]

New reaction pic for y'all to be used when you get into an argument about trans healthcare and your opponent starts talking about the 0.8% or whatever of trans people who regret transitioning

[erros429]

no thoughts, just the absurd way the touden siblings pull items out of their clothes

[toothwormfactory]

what if we saw shapeshifter versions of izutsumi?

Explanations under the cut

#1 is Laios' Izutsumi:

extra detail on her cat parts

more monster-y traits present

outfit mistake

#2 is Marcille's Izutsumi:

influenced by their time in the Golden Country

a little more chill than the others

softer hair

#3 is Senshi's Izutsumi:

details of puffed up fur

this izutsumi is skinnier than the others (ribs showing)

^^ senshi must take care of the child

#4 is Chilchuck's Izutsumi:

rounded ears like marcille's

eyes kinda look like his kids puckpatti and flertom

stanced