#<-bc he is mentioned
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Two trans kids with weird left arms(Morro is shorter than Sora,he is just floating to match her height)
#ninjago#ninjago morro#ninjago dragons rising#morro wu#morro ninjago#ninjago lloyd#<-bc he is mentioned#sora dragons rising#ninjago sora#sora ninjago#sora#dragons rising sora#dragons rising#morro is trans to me#ninjago leaks
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The funniest thing about House MD to me is that all the shippers are right. House and Wilson really are just Like That. I'm so used to big ships being completely noncanon or distant subtext at best. Not Hilson. They have a fake dating episode. In the episode where House mocks a gay man for being in denial, the multi-episode-long subplot is about him trying to break up Wilson's relationship because he's jealous and wants him to himself. Wilson, his best friend and person whom he lives with. This show is insane.
#house md#hilson#no spoilers plssss#i didnt want to add this bc i couldnt word it in a way that was funny and also proves my point but#its worth mentioning that at the end of that ep#house has a moment where he tells cuddy that he wants to be more than friends#and the gay guy in that episode almost married a straight woman in order to deny his gayness#hmmmmm makes you think
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going to chb must be crazy like imagine sharing a camp with
-one of the strongest demigods ever who's saved the world like at least 3 times, fought multiple gods & titans and WON (and is a tartarus survivor)
-the literal main architect of OLYMPUS who's also saved the world multiple times (also tartarus survivor)
-THE lord of the wild who's also close friends with the first two (and has helped save the world multiple times)
-an emo kid from the 1930s who again helped save the world and is also a tartarus survivor (TWICE)
-a son of apollo who survived tartarus with nothing but cargo shorts and sheer will (pun intended)
-the main designer and builder for the argo II, also the first hephaestus kid to have fire powers since hundreds of years ago (did i mention killed gaea? no? yeah he did that too)
-a girl who somehow charmspeak-ed gaea into falling back asleep (also side note daughter of super famous actor because why not)
-pretty much everybody is a two-time war veteran
-THE GOD APOLLO who just sometimes comes down to visit in the form of a teenage boy
-did i mention dionysus, god of wine madness and theatre
-also chiron, trainer of pretty much every greek hero ever
#shit's crazy#theyre basically living history#percy is kinda the new hercules except less macho manly man#'oh who's killed this guy before' 'percy jackson'#like can you imagine playing capture the flag with rhese bastards#ur scaling the wall and you see these mfs make it up there in like 2 jumps#they arent allowed to be in the same team for any of the games because you KNOW theyd beat everyone else's asses#people are fighting to have percy on their team#not to mention the gods that just pop in for a visit every now and then#like at this point the fact that DIONYSUS is their camp counselor isnr even that surprising anymore#some scrawny teen dude shows up and will's just 'oh hey dad'#'YOU MEAN APOLLO????' 'yeah lol he just visits sometimes'#pretty much everyone there has survived at least one war#the background characters must feel hella overshadowed bcs what does it matter if u won a game when the guy in the cabin across has like#saved the world. 3 different times. like wtf#pjo books#leo valdez#trials of apollo#lester papadopoulos#pjo fandom#percy jackson#grover underwood#nico di angelo#annabeth chase#pjo hoo toa#heroes of olympus#piper mclean#chiron#camp half blood#pjo text post
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if any one of you missed me it's because i've been playing hades game nonstop since a month ago and there have been shown no signs of stopping as of yet i love my silly boys
#i've finished hades the game and my brother gifted me hades II early access and i miss zagreus where is he#i can only hope Than is in II because i HAVE HIS SCYTHE I NEED MY WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ALSO where was it mentioned that thanatos had long hair???????????? i need to know if it's a dialogue i need to unlock bc I HAVE NOT SEEN I#i've finished the game but it has not been mentioned even once what did i do wrong#hades#hades game#my art#fanart#zagreus#thanatos#tried out coloring this way and it's been pretty fun so far
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dad issues
+
(I think they were all fundamentally affected by what they saw and just collectively decided not to share the upsetting details)
#dungeon meshi#aj art#chilchuck#chilchuck backstory stuff#sorta#comic#tw alchoholism#tw death#tw parent death#dont generally tag for death stuff but in this he straight up dies on screen so I thought I should#Uhh I think they all had extremely grim visions bc I think that’s sort of the nature of ghost attacks#I mean Laios’ was basically just him being like “I should’ve died no one would care if i died”#I think Marcille’s would be. Horrifying. Given all her baggage around death.#Tho iirc this would be before Falin’s backfired resurrection#But anyway the mentioning of his father got me thinking#Since at least judging by Laios’ vision#They focus on people who’s death you have baggage around#Especially since Falin wasn’t ever like. Dead dead.#And Chilchuck does mention his father multiple times#Specifically he mentions his death and how he died#Like it seems like that specifically is a notable memory for him#Like you never see him like “my dad taught me to do this”#It seems like he remembers his dad *for* his death#So I anyway I made an extremely grim comic about it#beabell
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dense, neutron star of a man. His weight fluctuates based off of the amount of sun hes been exposed to, and the amount of water ingested, so a very healthy kryptonian easily weighs around 350-400 lbs/ 158-181 kgs. Martha quickly traded in her lawn chairs for sturdy, solid wood, rocking chairs for the front porch as he got older, but Clark seems to be drawn to the flimsy lawn chairs like a moth to a flame.
(Hes prone to shouting for his Ma or Pa when hes scared awake, old habit hes never broke out of lol)
Bonus: a regular day for Bruce
#superbat#clark kent#superman#bruce wayne#batman#mine#my art#treating kryptonians like sponges a lil lol...#he drinks way more than he eats. weird plant man#despite bruce being a human wrecking ball it still shocks clark everytime hes picked up#like a huge dog confused by the concept of uppies#how could this happen....? i am so large...and powerful...did i mention Large...??#meanwhile Bruce bristles as soon as hes airborne against his will#he is aware he is pick-uppable despite his size (bc of his team) and it angers him deeply
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i keep seeing people say the doctor shouldn’t have feelings for rogue because he’s married to river…? river song… who has also married multiple people… one of the most polyamorous characters in the show…?
#i think the only issue river would have is that she wasn’t there to witness it#ngl#plus when has the doctor ever been strictly monogamous???#even when he was infatuated with rose he still had feelings for other people too#madame de pompadour anyone ??? hello?? 😭#and river’s been gone for multiple regens now… is the doctor meant to never have a relationship ever again or what#gonna be real i think if rogue was a woman i’d be seeing less Ummm He Has A Wife The Doctor Wouldn’t Cheat Like This takes#i really don’t think the doctor & river were ever strictly only with each other bro like they’ve always had a more open relationship anyway#🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️#doctor who#15th doctor#rogue doctor who#river song#timerogue#dndoctor#yowzah#twiver#ehhh yeah.#y’know ????#also as people have mentioned she’s dead#i didn’t make that part of my post bc timey wimey whatever people still want her to return somehow#so if she *was* alive and the doctor wasn’t literally a widow… she’d have no problem with rogue 😭😭#keepin this post ambiguous for u river return truthers
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I think it would be funny - in a post-BT breakup, Buck still oblivious to his feelings about Eddie world - if there was an episode where Buck tries to manifest his perfect partner into existence, and every reference to this practice is immediately followed by Eddie just showing up.
For example:
"I'm waiting for the universe to send me a sign."
"A sign about what?"
"About my perfect match. If I manifest hard enough, maybe the universe will point me to where I need to go?"
"Buck, the universe doesn't just... hand out relationships or - or signs to people who want it bad enough!"
Cut to Eddie walking up the steps of the loft holding a package.
"The new signs you ordered for the loading bay just arrived Bobby."
"Perfect. Let's see what they look like."
Buck is still talking with Hen and Chimney while this is happening behind him.
"I know it won't be, like, the universe will point an arrow at someone going 'This Is the Love Of Your Life' but maybe I'll feel a certain energy in the air... or a spark?"
Eddie takes a sign from out the box.
"What do you think?"
"I think you're holding it wrong. The arrow should be pointed down, not up."
Eddie looks and sees the arrow pointing at him. "Yeah, don't need anyone thinking they can just park on my face."
Anyway the episode kinda plays like that for 44 minutes.
#9-1-1 on abc#911 abc#911 on abc#eddie diaz#evan 'buck' buckley#buddie#buck x eddie#gay eddie diaz#and at the end when buck finally reveals to eddie what he's been trying eddie reminds him about 'making love happen' instead of waiting#which is advice that is completely misunderstood bc buck thinks eddie is suggesting he throw himself fully into the dating pool#did i mention eddie is a pining mess lol
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A Vision
That scene in s9 is probably one of my favorite Jay moments because of how well it shows why Wu chose him and what his role is in the team. Being the out-of-the-box thinker, the dreamer. Especially because of how it sets him apart from the rest, like Zane, Cole or Kai, whose purposes are to protect others while Jay inspires people (s6 and s12)
#ninjago#jay ninjago#ninjago jay#jay walker#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago fanart#ninjago wu#wu ninjago#dad jay au#← it's that scene from chapter 18#the moment when jay had to be on the verge of death to have a vision with wu#also yes this flashback is the one that is repeated the most in the AU#aa drawing young jay makes me sad. he has no idea what awaits him#i don't know if i've mentioned it before but in my hc he's 16 when wu recruits him#so he's the same age as Kaida here bc parallels
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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so just know, I'm healing / even though it don't feel like it
insp
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#good evening it is past midnight and i am here furthering the itfs scar kissing agenda#stumbled across the insp pic buried in my likes and i went oh this is relevant in the opposite direction :) I Can Use This :)#op has some of my fav itfs fanart ill b so real n tht piece ws swimming around in my brain fr Days#so i told myself today my reward for submitting my zine checkin wld b drawing yuuji kissing megumi's scars#also pls observe. /this/ is what i mean when i say tht megumi receiving affection looks like he is unsure and in mild pain#Does Not Know How To Respond To Affection Even From His Own Boyfriend.png#i LOVE drawing megu with this expression so sosos much the downcast sidelong gaze + furrowed brow.....#its SO good#also idk what i did with his hair here but the render actually turned out so well ?? best megu hair to date every1 pls clap#not 2 mention th shape of yuuji's bangs???? pats self on th back no offense but i am on fire w these boys' hair lately#that being said i decided i did not want to render anything else ddfdfjjghdjgf i got tired#kept the rest flat n took the opportunity to play around w light chromatic abberation on the scars#idk if any1 noticed but i found th retro film filter n used it a bunch on my recent comic#its so convenient it comes w built in noise n everything!!!!!!#anyway . caption is salt fv <333 if u care <333333#i think it is also a megu song but like . a post-canon megu song#i thought this wld take longer bc i was planning on rendering everything so i cracked an energy drink and am tragically awake#shld i start smth new we shall see smile :)
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cuscusses
#first outfit is based on the roma flag bc the author mentioned he was inspired by the culture this week#second pic is bc the first pic blew tf up so i made everyone pat him. yay#witch hat atelier#.csp#2024#custas#coustas
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Do you ever do requests? If so, do you ever plan on drawing some Yandere with the Hantengu clones? :D hope you have a good day/night!!!
Mentioning an unfamiliar name
yes!! I love yanderes.. and these guys.. these guys are such good material...... nods nods..
I'm not sure about requests..I assume you mean drawing requests? I suppose if it REALLY catches my interest enough, I'd do it, but it'd probably just be line art/sketches.
#null rot#yandere kny#yandere demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#midori306#YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THE YANDERE QUESTION MY BELOVED CULT MEMBER#uwaa and i recently checked back on their designs.. THEY HAVE LONG SLANTED EARS DUDE WHAT THE FUCKKK THATS LIKE THE CUTEST EVER#i tend to shitpost and focus on the dere than the yan but thats my mistake!! im sorry cult members.. I'll need scarousal#when calling sekdio. he pretends to ignore you but you can tell he heard you when his ear twitches#He's flabbergasted that you met someone else to begin with. who let you go out without one of them?!#hes too shocked and angry to even properly get upset!!#Karaku loves everything you have to say. less so if its positive abt someone else. still listens tho. listening carefully for details..#he doesnt mind others eyeing you. youre perfect in his eyes. who wouldnt? still.. thats not gonna fly well.#Urogi loves when you seek him out but mentioning someone else... is bc you want to feed him right? ofc! you want to benefit him!#its cause hes your favorite! yeah! youre so sweet!!! ofc he'll get rid of someone for you both!!#Aizetsu's bashful. he feels put on the spot when calling him but hes always hoping you give him affection of some kind. always ready for yo#mentioning someone else was NOT what he wanted and now hes sad.. youre making him sad.. whats so important you had to bring that up?#The thought of anyone else makes him feel so exhausted already.. wont you comfort him instead? he needs you now.. atone for your mistakes#uwaa expressions.. uwaaa aizetsu releasing some of the tension in his brows when hes feeling upset towards you uWAA#i CANT RAMBLE ENOUGH IN THE TAGS SO WAIT FOR THE POST I HAVE IN THE BACK BURNER FROM SOMEONE ELSE WHO ASKED FOR SOMETHING SIMILAR!!!!!!!
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new idea: shen yuan transmigrates into a pidw version with abo dynamics, but he doesn't know about it.
he knows what abo is, but it's so far removed from his expectations that it simply doesn't cross his mind at all. with that, cang qiong is a respectable, upstanding sect, so there is no growling, claiming, scent pushing or primal instinct stuff going on. people also don't mention it, as it's simply not relevant most of the time, and is considered rude to discuss unprompted.
shen qingqiu, of course, is an omega (the characters who make the best omegas are the ones who would hate it the most), but he has suppressed it with his qi for most of his life because he doesn't want to be seen as weak. the other peak lords assume he's a beta.
now, i'm not a traditional abo dynamic fan, but, there is something very appealing to me about the nesting and scenting aspect of it.
it starts out slow and painfully oblivious, with shen yuan assuming cultivators must have a really good sense of smell, and it's simply book logic that every character seems to have a signature scent. all those romance novels always mention characters smelling of pine and flowers and scotch and leather, so this isn't a foreign concept. liu qingge, for instance, is the bai zhan war god, girls fall for him left and right, it's only natural he smells of musk and deep woodsy notes, like the earth after it rains. right?
besides that, shen yuan has always been a homebody who loves his creature comforts, so him getting extra blankets and pillows and soft fabrics for his bed to curl up in isn't odd at all. or him collecting soft pretty things. shen qingqiu already has fans and night pearls and hair ribbons and silky clothes, so nothing changes.
then without-a-cure hits.
the poison breaks down the suppressors that the original shen qingqiu put in place, and his body starts restoring the balance. this worsens the cravings, and sets off his omega instincts.
he gathers more blankets, but it doesn't fill the need, like there's something missing. then liu qingge forgets his outer robe in his house after a meridian cleansing to deal with an emergency, and that robe ends up in his bed. he tries to reason it's a comfort thing—he wore his dad's sweater when he was young and had nightmares, and liu qingge does smell very nice, so is it really that strange that he holds it at night and presses his face against the collar where the scent is the strongest to soothe himself?
his own scent starts to develop as well, much stronger than the mild, watery green tea flavor from before, and people notice.
thing is, though, that there are many formalities and rules of conduct around omegas, one of which is not to bring up their status in any improper or unbidden way. so even though the alpha lords now notice a very distinct omega scent coming off their shixiong, they can't mention it out of societal pressure. so, they don't.
shen yuan still doesn't notice a thing.
the first time liu qingge smells it is during their bi-weekly cleansing session, when shen qingqiu leans in and liu qingge gets a mouthful of green tea, bamboo and honeyed jasmine, soft and sweet and pleased and so very content it sets off his alpha brain and he has to rein himself in before he starts releasing his own pheromones like some inexperienced teenager—
he's only just grown used to their amity and their habit of sharing tea and cakes after the cleansing, but now shen qingqiu is sitting there smiling at him and smelling like—like liu qingge is spoiling him and, making him feel safe...
he doesn't bring it up, downs his tea, and leaves.
meanwhile shen qingqiu keeps happily nesting away, filling his bed with all kinds of soft fabrics, some clothes of other people that he's trying really hard not to think about. everything is going well, binghe just turned sixteen and the girls are calling him an 'alpha', so his little bun is growing well into his protagonist charms! yue qingyuan comes by more often, acting a little strange but shen qingqiu is used to that by now. he looks very bashful offering him a ribbon of his, a pretty silver one that smells of incense and ozone, and shen qingqiu happily accepts it.
one time binghe comes back bruised and scuffed from a fight with bai zhan disciples, and shen qingqiu tsks at the strange smells on him, do those brutes ever bathe?? he rubs his hands over binghe's sleeves to try and get some of it off, and his poor bun must still be in shock because he stares wide-eyed at his shizun. he must also be getting forgetful because shen qingqiu finds that same robe still unwashed a week later in binghe's bedroom.
he also loves it when people brush or play with his hair, it's his favorite part of the evening when binghe helps him take down his hair for the night. the combs feel so nice on his scalp, if he could purr he would! (binghe's heart sobs quietly behind him, in complete disbelief his master is purring at him).
his icy, lofty demeanor has all but shattered, because now every time he tries to act aloof, like when yue qingyuan gives him a present or liu qingge shows up on his doorstep, his sweet, pleased scent betrays him.
the opposite is true, as well, when without-a-cure flares up and he's in pain and his scent goes sour and distressed, even when he's waving everyone off saying he's fine. the entire house smells of burnt tea leaves and ash after a nightmare, and shen qingqiu is very confused when liu qingge comes to pick him up for a meeting but then refuses to leave.
anyway he doesn't find out until after the conference when airplane tells him to keep his acrid scent under control, his house is starting to stink.
#yqy finds a robe of his in sqqs bed once and his alpha brain goes !!!!! and he cant stop preening for like. a month#sqq wonders if the original goods had cat genes or smth because he keeps wanting to rub his head against people for some reason#he just deserves to curl up in a nest of blankets and pillows and coziness#preferably with a mate or two or three#cuddling into them all warm and cozy and purring and being held as they call him a good boy and kiss his forehead#also shen yuan being woefully oblivious to societal norms is so delicious to me like getting super intimate bc he doesn't know the formalit#and yes he HAS ended up in someone else's bed before. either lqg or yqy both of whom would never wash that pillow again#alphas betas and omegas have absolutely been mentioned in sqqs vicinity it's just that it flew right over his head#''liu qingge is an alpha? why of course! he's the bai zhan war god! can't get more masculine than that!''#all he can think about is those youtube videos of ''how to be an alpha male to attract high value women''#svsss#abo#omega shen qingqiu#scum villain#svsss abo au#shen qingqiu#liu qingge#liushen#luo binghe#yue qingyuan#shen yuan#bingqiu
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She’s the most like me
#dungeon meshi#aj art#chilchuck#meijack#chilchuck backstory stuff#dungeon meshi spoilers#Sort of ?? Is it?#AHA. Ahah sh shsh sl#sjchdjjfv#THIS TOOK ME SO FUCKING LONNGGGG#I was thinking. About how Chilchuck would feel about Mei doing lockpick work#Since he mentions that and even recommends her to Laios in case he dies#So I was like. Idk I thought that was really interesting#Bc I can’t imagine that his initial response to her career goals was positive#Given his own experiences as an adventurer being so very Bad#Like his ass aged a decade in two years#So I wanted to draw what I thought that initial reaction would’ve been#anywayy
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Joel winning the Life Series where he centered his entire gimmick this season around Family under the guise of "Joel Toretto" makes me insane because he was alone for so long in the Life Series and it works out so perfectly that the guy who was allergic to allies for the start of the life series and had to be forced into it with soulmates wins the season he focuses on Family. Poetic cinema.
1. Third Life Joel. No friends. No allies. He joined up with Monopoly Mountain last minute and died out of sight of either of them, mostly alone. He had a house full of dogs, not full of friends (and where is that familiar?), and nobody really mourned him when he was gone, offhand comments and brief "Oh No!s" following his death. Being alone got him nothing.
2. Last Life Joel. No friends. He's alone again, for the most part. In Last Life there's a lot of unknowns, a lot of instability- people can get back in yellow or green, or they try, so Joel has temporary red alliances with the likes of Scar and Grian but they don't last. He's alone. Again. Joel laments it, in one of his videos, IIRC, that he's bad at making allies, and "look at where it got him". The closest person he had to an ally in Last Life was Grian when they were both red, Grian seeing first hand how insane and blood thirsty Joel becomes on red. They call themselves the Deadliest Duo, and they kill people, and they laugh when they die. But Joel dies, still, killed by Scott, shortly after Grian permadies.
3. Double Life. Now it's different. Now we're seeing some changes. Joel gets put with Etho, who off the bat immediately considers him a liability, a notion he rejects and fights against to get Etho to respect him. He builds Etho a ship to try and impress him. Etho purposefully takes fall damage to remind him of what's at stake. He's not just a lone wolf, anymore, Etho's life is in his hands and he's not happy about it. Joel hates it, being treated fragile and like a bomb to go off. Eventually, they find out they work together well, they get killed, they go red and Joel goes crazy. Red rage is a real, definable, re-occuring phenomenon for Joel, he IS angry and he DOES want to make people pay. Etho in the life series is usually more reserved, and he holds Joel back, yes, but Joel also helps Etho out of his shell and pushes him to do things he wouldn't normally do. The ship burns everything burns. And then they burned. And Joel's first real alliance goes up in flames, literally.
4. Now Joel has a taste of what it's like to not be alone the entire season. He teams up with Jimmy and Grian, his Bad Boys, and he's fiercely loyal to them, and then to him. (Even Grian by his standards is FIERCELY loyal to the Bad Boys- I mean, he doesn't even kill one of them! I think. Not permanently?) He changes his skin, matching leather jackets, these are his people. And he'd die for his people. Joel and Grian try their best to keep Jimmy alive, Joel going so far as to say he'd have sacrificed himself to keep Jim alive, but it wasn't enough, he wasn't quick enough, and he died right afterwards, leaving Grian alone. But he wasn't alone. And he didn't go out alone.
5. Secret Life is.... weird. He has allies, yes, but it's a bit of a strange situation, he allies with the Mounders and he lives a bit of a ways away from them, not quite in the group but not quite out of it. But he doesn't want to be alone again. He knows what happens when you're alone in this game, and he doesn't ever want that to happen to him again. Mumbo goes out almost immediately following Jimmy, the third to go out. Pearl IIRC betrays the Mounders and messes around with Gem, which is really funny given the events of Wild Life. It's only him and Bdubs at the end, both murdered by Scott.
6. Now. Wild Life. Again. Joel knows what happens if you're alone in this series, and he never wants it to happen to him again. So he bases his persona around a movie character, one that everyone knows and likes, he thinks. He makes himself someone that he thinks people will want to befriend, one where he won't have to be alone. He makes himself look strong, fake muscles clumsily attached to his arms, quoting about family and the importance of it, a vast difference from the lonely man in 3rd Life and Last Life who couldn't be assed to find allies. And it works. He has Gem- and everyone fears them, for once. Everyone already knows Joel is insane, but with Gem behind him, he's a significant threat. Gem keeps him grounded, and from doing stupid shit that gets him killed. They have Etho, and he comes and visits, which is nice. Everyone struggles a lot with the Wild Cards early game but them, neither of them losing lives for several sessions. Joel even comments that normally he's red by session 4, and he doesn't know what to do with himself without all that anger. He lives his best life, with Gem, with his car.
And then Grian's allies die, and isn't that familiar, and Joel lets him into the Family, because of course he would, allying with Grian is like second nature to him at this point. Maybe he feels guilty for leaving him in Limited Life, or maybe he just knows what it's like to be alone and doesn't want that for him. Who knows. He tries and fails at building traps. As soon as he's yellow he gets a double kill on Scott and Pearl, and Grian and Jimmy scream with him like old times. And it's okay, I mean it's stressful and it's like the end of the world but Joel's doing okay, he has his family, he's not alone.
And then the finale comes and it's so hectic and so many people are trying to kill him and Grian saves him, Grian tries so hard to save him, and isn't that something. Being worthy of being saved by Grian. And Gem goes out, not even to a player, to a vex, one of his family members is gone and it's so hectic Joel can't even stop to mourn or he, too, will die. And then he finds Grian and he stumbles to him screaming "Thank God you're alive!" because it had gotten so crazy, so wild that Joel didn't truly even know if Grian was alive, but he was, he still had Family, he wasn't alone again, not this time. And Grian says that he thinks Joel can win, Joel can win, that he'll give Joel his life, that it's about time he wins and Joel gets flashbacks to wanting to die for Jimmy, and Scar wanting to die for Grian and what that did to him, and he doesn't want that, but GOD he wants to win. So badly. And then Grian got knocked off the tower with Bdubs, ender pearling off, screaming how he refused to go like Mumbo, like Skizz, not on his tower and Joel's running, EVERYONE is targeting him, Grian takes out Pearl and Joel takes out Cleo and Ren.
And then it's just them, then it's just Joel and Grian, and Joel can't even find Grian, he just heard the arrows as Grian tries to shoot him, going back on his word as expected, which Joel-- Joel is glad for. Because he wanted to win this on his own terms, he wanted to win because he won, he would not be given anything. He's not alone this time. And he charges up the tree, and he kills Grian, kills his Family, his Bad Boy, his red friend, his ally in the sand, screaming that he's sorry, and Joel laughs.
Joel laughs, and laughs, and laughs.
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