#<- i’m not saying i ship these it’s just examples
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Sure, he’s dated a number of wealthy solicalites but i still firmly believe that Batman’s sexuality is villainy. He’s attracted to people who can commit grand larceny in at LEAST the second degree. His ex’s cross over with his rogue gallery far too much for it to be anything other than a type.
#canon examples of this: natalie selina and talia#non canon examples: khoa harvey and the joker#<- i’m not saying i ship these it’s just examples#dcu#batman#batfam#batfamily#bruce wayne
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i support ambiguous sexualities and gender-blind attraction within fanon. like i can read a fic with a pairing i don’t think would work in canon and 100% believe (or even love) it if it’s written well enough
#i said something like this in the tags of a reblog earlier this week but had to say it again in broader context#jegulus#i’m lookin at you#i hate that some people twist that to be a fetishization. they’re two great characters#why wouldn’t they love each other in this fictional context where the stars have aligned and it would absolutely make sense that they do?#crimson rivers#superbat#drarry#stony#stucky#merthur#marylily#i fully cannot think of more examples that i specifically don’t think would work in canon like my mind just wants to put ACTUAL ships i have#supercorp#destiel#shipping#ship#fandom#fanfiction#fanfic#fanart#fan#lgbt#lgbtqiap
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Mike loves taking care of people. He loved taking of el in season one, and he loved taking care of will in season two, he loves feeling needed. He desperately wants to be the knight(paladin) that will sees him as. Mike and el love each other but not the way that mike and will do. Mike was only able to say he loves el because will told him that “el” would always need him no matter what:
Mike even says that he knows el doesn’t need him and that’s why they’re having problems. It isn’t mikes monologue that gets her out of Vecna’s vines, it’s max. We even see it in the last scene of s4 where el is separated from the rest of the group. She’s become independent, doesn’t need just mike, as a romantic interest, she’s not a damsel in distress. What she does need is the support of her friends and family.
You know who does need mike though? Will! He makes it clear through the painting and his monologue in the van scene, and we see how happy this makes mike, to know he really is needed. That’s why byler works.
#this is so incoherent and there’s so many holes in what i’m saying#can you tell i’m trying so hard not to say anything bad abt milkvan#I don’t hate the ship it’s just clear what theyre trying to do with this#we see that wills always had his platonic relationships but what he really needs in the end is mike (his romantic interest)#and that el has always had mike(the romantic interest) and what she needs in the end is her platonic relationships#duffers love subverting tropes and the shy tortured gay kid not dying and ending up with his love interest will be the perfect example#again incoherent but whatevs#byler#byler endgame#byler proof#byler s5#byler evidence#byler nation#will byers#mike wheeler#stranger things#st5#st5 speculation#milkvan is bones#william byers#michael wheeler#stranger things 5#don’t come for me yall it’s 2 am and i don’t make sense 🙏🙏🙏🙏#mike x will#miwi#cleradin
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strange behaviour from the arcane fandom when a woman that has relations with another woman goes down a darker path and people condemn her whereas if she was a man in love with another man this would be lapppped up as “toxic yaoi”. please get a grip
#i’m tired#i’m so tired#people will do anything to erase lesbians from media#not even just when i think about the treatment of mel from a vast majority of jayce / viktor shippers … weird fucking behaviour#if cait was a man and vi remained a woman nobody would bat an eye#if they were both men nobody would bat an eye#her whole arc is reference to how privileged people will fall to facism at the smallest drop of suffering#that the lower classes experience like. what are you not fucking getting#i’m trying to think of examples here but people looooove kylo ren and he takes on a sort of dictator’s role#though not in a similar fashion#it’s just tiring to read all of the time#nobody can stand nuanced female characters but everyone sits and laps up similarly or WORSE toxic male characters#get a fucking grip#tbd.#also the mel issue is separate it’s just on the brain#because apparently two men cannot have a close bond without wanting to fuck and devour each other :/#but women are always written as besties. ok#i’m#also not saying don’t ship jayvik. but you see the issue here right#a canonical lesbian relationship is thrown to be shredded#and jayvik takes favour yet again ??? MEL IS RIGHT THERE TOO ….. not that it’s any betterrrr#but you see. you get my point ???? THE CANON IS THERE. ACKNOWLEDGE ITTTTTTR
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So something that came to my brain
We’ve gotten Optimus and Megatron iterations where Megatron is older than Optimus, and in more modern interpretations, where they’re around the same age
So why not have an iteration where Optimus is the older one of the two?
The idea that immediately pops into my head is that before the war (assuming we keep the story of the two knowing each other prior), Optimus could have been a mentor to Megatron, only for Megatron to eventually change for whatever reason and turn his back on Optimus, creating the Decepticons and waging war
It doesn’t need to be that, it’s just what came to my head first. But the idea of their dynamic being where Optimus is the older and Megatron the younger is maybe something to explore in future iterations. We now have a version where Starscream is notably older than Megatron, why not do the same with him and Optimus?
#I mean one might say it could throw a wrench into megop#though granted it depends on the interpretation like if it’s the one I listed#but even then it’s probably not going to stop people (TFA as an example)#and I mean despite my love of the ship in certain iterations it isn’t canon and doesn’t need to be#and I don’t know I’d be curious to see where this sort of interpretation would go#especially since I feel like most interpretations have Megatron as the one with more “power” so to speak#but having an Optimus who’s the older one could certainly change that#I don’t know I feel like I’m starting to sound weird#but I just think this idea has some potential and I don’t think it’s been done before in official media#transformers#megatron#optimus prime#ideas
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For me the most fascinating aspect of Hera’s character is her relationship with her culture. Like, it directly affects everything about her because she’s only ever known war, to the point she never even spared a thought of what she would do once it was over, and because of the ridge with her father she can’t even help Ryloth directly for a long time, and then once that’s opened up again she’s immediately forced to gamble away her home in Order to protect the only piece of her mother and her brother she still has left. Like all series she very competently walks the tightrope of being as professional as possible while still trying to be gentle to her adopted kids who are also kind her subordinates and yet her relationship with her planet is one of the few things that makes her lose balance. I just think she’s so neat. This has nothing to do with that other post btw I just agree with you that Hera is such a well written character and I wanted to share some thoughts
this is sooooooo good and yes i agree! hera is so fascinating, and while i obviously love her relationship with kanan and the maternal side of her, and that IS an important part of her character, there’s also so much more to her and it’s really sad that everyone reduces her to “wife and mother,” especially when i feel like she is a character purposefully written to break the mold of the typical mom character
challenge for the star wars fandom: say something about hera without calling her spacemom or just focusing on her romantic life. instead try:
her relationship to her culture/homeworld
her relationship with her own parents/childhood
her love of flying
her relationship to organized military (in the rebellion and the new republic)
her abilities as a mechanic
her leadership skills
and so much more!
#don’t get me wrong i LOVE spacemom but that’s like all anyone has to say about her and it’s annoying#and kanera is undoubtedly the best star wars ship and i am OBSESSED. but again hera is her own whole person!!!#ask#anon#oh and obviously her maternal side and her relationship to kanan is woven through a lot of the points i brought up and you can’t really#divorce those things from her character those were just examples of interesting things about her barely anyone talks about#i’m not saying DONT talk about those sides of her just. recognize her in other ways as well bc there is so much to her
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having. feelings about “wincesties dni” banners. (Feelings do expand more broadly than this specific ship/situation, but for reference, this is what we’ll work with)
On one level, I do understand the desire to not have your work perceived in a way that makes you uncomfortable or triggers you. That’s a valid boundary to have. I would feel weird if someone came onto one of my gen fics about. uh. who do I write gen for. Jack & Lucifer. And started talking about shipping them in the comments or wherever, when that was explicitly not the point of what I’d written and I did not want to be involved in that conversation, especially if it’s concerning my piece.
So, it does make sense to me to have a disclaimer of “hey, I made this art/fic/etc to portray this dynamic, please do not apply any other to it”. (Like, no, you can’t stop anyone from doing that anyway, but you can make that boundary and that makes whoever ignores it an asshole.)
But on another level, that’s not what the banners say, is it? It’s “wincesties dni”, not “hey this stuff is gen, do not talk about Sam/Dean on it”. It’s “if you are one of the Bad People, do Not touch my post.” Which feels. Idk. You can do whatever you want on the internet, but that does feel kind of presumptuous. Speaking as someone who has written wincest before, who has looked at the show through that lens, the fact that I have done that does not mean I am now unable to perceive it any other way.
Like, bluntly, just because I have dabbled in wincest (or michifer or hell, any ship actually?) does not mean I’ve suddenly lost the ability to look at gen works about the two characters and take it at that. I like gen Sam & Dean content, probably more than I like wincest, but at the same time, I do linger in the space from wincest-adjacent to shipper. so it’s always. Weird. To come across art or fic I adore and then to get slammed with a “wincesties dni” thing at the end. Like, am I too dirtied by association to be allowed to enjoy it? is my sin so great that everything i reblog shall be tainted? am I being a little fucking dramatic about fandom nonsense?
Sorry about all that. I’m just having some thoughts. I want to reblog cute art. That’s all.
#fandom wank#tw incest#for wincest mentions and such#look away dev#spn#when I say this applies to all ships what I mean is like#just because you ship something. that doesn’t mean every time you look at those characters you’re shipping them. right?#you are still capable of enjoying platonic content between those characters! just because you ship something doesn’t blind you#to alternative readings of their dynamic! idk. idk.#and on a personal level returning to my jack & Lucifer example like. okay again. personally. but if someone did ship them#and came to a gen fic I wrote about them. and enjoyed it as a gen fic. left a nice comment.#I’m not going to like. assume they have sinister incest shipper intentions in reading my fic.#like even if they do who gives a shit as long as they don’t blast that at me on a fic I didn’t want that on. but presumably they’re there#the same reason anyone else is. for the platonic aspect of it.#because if they wanted shipping wouldn’t they. you know. go to the ship tag.#but again that’s a personal take.#wincest
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i am aware that when people talk about straightbaiting they are literally just joking but also
That is literally just what happens when the woman is chubby or has a job in a male dominated field or it is an interracial couple.
#but this is also a non issue and i feel so silly being as annoyed with those posts as i am#i also feel the need to disclaimer this by saying i am a lesbian <3#I’m not saying that queerbaiting and stuff isn’t real but I could think of so manyyyyy examples of couples who didn’t get together#and who people insisted were just friends because of those reasons#like Morgan/Garcia has it all#and the type of people who are in these big gay ships. thin and white. and i just think some people need to be brought back down to earth#its something im more annoyed about now that im interacting with more of the spn fandom but when people say d*stiel would b real if cas was#a woman? her name is anna and she died after three episodes
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absolutely insane to me to watch shadow and bone and straight up not give a shit about shadow and bone and only care about the crows. dude can you be serious why are you even here…
#well as you know all i do these days is watch shadow and bone edits on tiktok and read shadow and bone and stare at walls#so all i’m saying is like. i know the s&b sections of the show don’t have gay men to ship but they are not bad just because they’re s&b….#i’m sick of seeing mathias. who the fuck is matthias. talk about zoya. nikolai. nadia. genya. david…#there are many great characters in s&b who are more interesting than half of the crows.#for example my best friend genya. who i would kill for.#beth.txt#absolutely none of that applies to kanej btw. kanej is more interesting than everything else in that show except alina.#it goes like this 1) alina. 2) kanej. 3) mal is also there. 4) genya <3. 5) everything else#🪲
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not saying you absolutely cannot elaborate on ozai in fanfic but I do think it’s often. weird especially considering his place in the narrative which is. quite literally to be the Evil (tm) the protagonists need to defeat (mostly imperialism & child abuse). like there’s a difference between adding nuance to a villain and writing an uwu fluffy romance fic between said villain and his wife (whom he canonically abuses in the comics!) with zero critical thinking (and possibly accidentally becoming apologism for the things the villain symbolises)
#atla#I get if you don’t consider the comics canon or haven’t read them (I don’t & haven’t either) but it’s so funny when people are like.#ozai voice I can excuse imperialism & child abuse but I draw the at abusing my wife#elli rambles#also when people are like well bad people also deserve love and happiness or whatever (genuine take I’ve seen multiple times btw)#bestie. these are characters. they’re not in fact people with agency or who can ‘deserve’ stuff they’re pieces of a story in the same way#like. themes are. they’re not real!!!#also I think ursa x ozai fics are just a. particularly egregious example of ppl only being able to look at things with their shipping goggle#r#none of this is worded well I’m just saying stuff but I’m just like. ugh#again you can obviously write whatever the fuck you want I’m not the boss of you I’m just pointing out sth that’s just. weird to me
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I was thinking I wanted a queer platonic partner, but thinking about it more I don’t? I don’t want any intimacy whatsoever. I don’t wanna be touched unless it’s simple arm holding/arms linked together or a quick hug or lean on when in troubled times. I don’t want to be called a partner or anything either. I guess I just want a best friend to maybe live with? Just be close to someone with mutual trust and comfort and understanding and respect? I don’t wanna rope someone into a relationship that’s other than friendship because that’s all I want; I wouldn’t ever want to hold someone back if they want to be an intimate or romantic relationship! Having a close friendship sounds so heavenly to me, while having any other kind of relationship makes me feel anxious and uncomfortable to think about. God this book did so much for me ngl..
#it just made me think a lot about myself#I’m gonna reread it#it really made me realize I have a very uneducated view on sex and romance#to me sex was always hand in hand to romance because that’s how I#consumed it in media/fandom which how I even got into it(thru shipping)#i used to think I was a hopeless romantic and pansexual bc of this#when really most of what I was interpreting was unrealistic#I think my views on how a relationship worked was always childish?#like I mean how maybe a 6 year old would view how it would work#like just hand holding and kissing and smiling is what defined a relationship#not any other factors I had learned about through media (I’d say daily life but I think I shouldn’t use my parents as a good example)#(I mean used to; I always thought aggressive teasing name calling and hitting was a (healthy) form of affection so…)#most of the time when I characterize a ship I find it hard to make it romantic so I research what things are romantic to do#even then it’s hard bc I don’t see how exactly it’s romantic#so I kind of just default to them hanging out like a couple of friends would#this is all so fucking liberating omg#it feels like I just stepped out of a cage? like I’m letting myself actually think without worry#talkies#asexual#aromantic#aroace
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Actually very funny when dudes (gender neutral) get mad that the male Shounen protagonist and their beloved male rival who they call their destined partner (or similar) and who they would sacrifice everything for are paired together.
But suddenly 10 billion heterosexual harem fics where the female characters are turned into notches on the bed, sex dolls, and wives are okay.
“Why can’t men have platonic relationships?” And it’s something (a male friendship) that has been allowed for millennia and even gay relationships have been turned into a deep friendship with “no homo” (Ex. Achilles and Patroclus, who constantly get arguments about the nature of that relationship)
#Naruto and Sasuke for example are like#this is incredibly homosexual#I don’t even ship them#it’s just wow you can really tell Kishimoto put all of his creative juice into that relationship#and not into the ones with their wives#and I’m saying this as someone who likes Naruhina and Sasusaku#i think romantic and platonic relationships are equally valuable#and both relationships tend to blur together#but come on now#like it’s very obvious why a lot of people get really invested in Shounen protagonist/rival#when it’s noted trend that a lot of popular Shounen Writers have trouble writing girls#Note: not all ofc considering Frieren is a thing among a number of others
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Karlach POV - some asshole with a stupid name is chasing you across Avernus as you try to escape and you need him dead like yesterday
Wyll: is literally the kindest and best person she’s ever met, plus he could probably cut her head off in one swing if she asked
Karlach, now sweating and slightly more on fire: hey Mizora can Wyll and I go over the fact that no one has snapped you in half yet?
Karlach/Wyll is so funny to me. Like
Mizora: so your new target is this fearsome awful devil from Avernus and we need her dead like yesterday
Wyll: oh cool
Karlach: is literally the kindest and best person he's ever met plus she could snap him in two if he asked
Wyll, now sweating: hey Mizora can we go over our deal again
#Good post OP#Karlach rightly gets a lot of credit for being a Good Person but I feel Wyll deserves more credit on that front too. (She’s very hot ik ik)#I remember in early access loads of people were like ‘I bet Wyll sucks! I bet he’s gonna turn out to be evil!’ No! He really is that nice!#He really is just doing his best! He’s very hard on himself but that doesn’t mean he should be!#I have a lot of appreciation for Gale but I’m Tired of him being the go-to example of BG3’s soft guy boyfriend#I do understand the appeal of the posh cat man who makes a joke that people who don’t study magic can’t read - but solely in terms of#gentle good guy poster boy credentials#Wyll is right there!!#I cannot tolerate so many people sleeping on Wyll#They can both be Best Boy - the fandom has two hands.#Anyway. Wyll and Karlach being each other’s biggest fan in-game even when they’re both NPCs and not dating is the best and cutest thing#And Wyll and Karlach are indeed a god-tier ship#that is all I have to say
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✨The Fashionista✨
Rise Ramblings #234
While watching “The Clothes Don’t Make The Turtle,” I noticed something.
I found it interesting that Raph, Mikey, and Leo were content with Raph’s outfit choice until Donnie stated that he wasn’t “in love with it, ya’ know.”
Suddenly, Raph declares “I’m a disaster!” Albeit ridiculously endearing, it was a little strange to see his sudden shift from moderately content to absolute dissatisfaction. Huh…
Then, the disaster twins decide to help him out.
Take a note of their outfit choices.
Raph tries on all of these fits and more.
Donnie’s first choice is a mild “no.” Leo’s choice is a hard “NO.” (Not surprising, lol.) But then, the overwhelming consensus lands on Raph’s fourth outfit, which ended up being Donatello’s other pick for his brother.
So, in summary, Raph tried on his personal choice for an outfit, of which they rejected. Then, ultimately, Donatello picked out an outfit for his brother, and that pick ended up being perfect. Hmm…
Then I noticed something else. In this episode, we never get a Donnie “curtain reveal” moment, to our disdain. I mean, Raph, Leo, and Mikey got to try on several different outfits in order to get their brothers' opinions before landing on that “perfect outfit, you know the one.” All of his brothers got to shine. Why not DonTron?
Then it hit me.
The try-ons were to get their brothers' opinions and approval. And, for his brothers' choices, he was a major contributor in assisting them in pulling their looks together.
What if, bear with me, Donnie didn’t need the "curtain scene" because he was so confident in his fashion sense that he didn’t need to ask his brothers for help to pick out a great look.
…or they figured out how to break Hypno’s spell before he could get a “curtain reveal.” BUT STILL-
Look at his outfit choices in this episode. Some of his wardrobe changes were off-screen, but all of them were fire.
(I added the baseball cap pic because it makes me happy. I wish we'd seen more of that fit.)
To me, he makes some really smart choices for himself, pushing the envelope of what is expected and taking chances: an open collar with no tie for a “black tie” event, a beanie and spiked wristbands for their “gansta look,” no socks with loafers (a viral fashion trend that actually began in Africa) with old man slacks in his reclined pose. *muah* Chef’s kiss!
But Don’s fashion sense doesn’t just shine in this episode.
In “Reparin’ the Baron” the boys go to Draxum’s apartment. Leo and Donnie show up in some extra nice “Sunday Dinner” twin drip.
The gold is in the details. Everything Leo is wearing, Donnie rocks its compliment: for Leo’s round collar, Donnie’s is angled, for Leo’s blue shirt, Donnie’s is white, For Leo’s light slacks, Donnie’s are dark. Blah blah blah. It’s so good!
Look at the winter fit in Snow Day.
Again, Donnie is Leo’s perfect compliment. As a pair? Fire.
Donnie has “the eye.” I can go on and on with examples, but I’ve said all of that to say this…
In the future, we see that Donatello’s technology had major pull in the resistance. He had drone ships patrolling the skies. He built and designed Leo’s arm, Casey’s chainsaw-hockey stick, and Casey's mask. The list goes on…
But, when Donatello from the past see’s Casey’s clothing from the future, he says this:
We know about the “Genius Built” brand. We’ve seen that logo on all of his tech up to this point. But, here he didn’t just say “Genius Built.” He said, “Genius Built Apparel.”
“Apparel” is not a tech brand. “Apparel” is a fashion brand. Of course, tech is incorporated into the clothing, but still.
This means that past Donatello secured this trademark with plans of creating a fashion brand, comparable to the likes of Gucci, Ralph Lauren, or any other modern clothing brand, as a subsidiary of “Genius Built,” the tech company.
And why not? The evidence has been in front of us this entire time. He has a sharp eye for style, fashion, and trends. It is easily canon that he can sew. Splinter sewed their ninja garbs in “Insane in the Mama Train,” and there is a sewing machine in the house.
They already learned Ninjutsu through basically osmosis, so learning to sew is not too far-fetched.
And here it is, right in front of us, Casey’s entire ensemble, from mask, to weapons, to clothing, was made by Donatello in the middle of the apocalypse under the brand name “Genius Built Apparel.”
And that was just in the bad future. Resources were limited, they didn’t have access to much of anything in that broken world as they were survivors of a devastating Krang invasion. Yet, he created all of this.
However, now that they’ve changed the future, his future as a fashion designer is limitless. Think of what Donatello could produce with unlimited resources, unlimited technology, and unlimited creative freedom.
Tech genius. Clothing designer. Fashionista. Future Genius Built Apparel Owner and CEO. I’m sorry, but I have to call it...
Donatello Hamato of the present, of the bad future, and of the good future is a fashion icon, the likes of which the world has never seen. ○○○○
Update: I've decided to make this concept into a mini-comic series!
2025 Update:
I've also made this post into a YOUTUBE VIDEO!
Video Preview:
You can check that out →→→ HERE ←←←
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🎞 YOUTUBE 🎞 | 💚 SEND A SLICE 🍕 | 🎵 BANDCAMP 🎵
#Tech Genius#Clothing Designer#Fashionista#Future Genius Built Apparel Owner and CEO#Fashion Icon#Donatello Hamato#Donatello Ramblings#starkiss ramblings#rise analysis#rottmnt analysis#character analysis#rise don#rise donnie#rise donatello#rottmnt donatello#donatello#rottmnt#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#tmnt2018#tmnt 2k18#tmnt 2018#save rottmnt#unpause rottmnt#unpause rise of the tmnt#save rise of the tmnt#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles
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OKAYOKAYOKAY BUT Olivia has basically introduced her parents to tiktok right??? So what if she catches them watchind edits of one another?? Like her mum watching Hugh and Wolverine edits and Hugh watching edits about her and her Marvel character?? And maybe even fans make edits about Wolverine and her Marvel character together like au’s where they meet or just because they love them as a real couple, and Olivia catches them sending each other those vids??
i ship it | hugh jackman
an: thank you for the request anon! ma!reader and hugh are definitely those people that see a pic of each other and say “damn is he/she single?”
marvel actress!reader masterlist
Olivia didn’t even realize her mom had tiktok. She saw the app installed on your phone one day and decided to see what your for you page was like. She guessed it would be a mix between cooking videos and cat videos, but she never would’ve guessed that your fyp was filled with edits of Logan Howlett and Hugh.
Your account wasn’t verified so the editors didn’t know it was you liking the videos. If they did then Twitter would’ve freaked out. Olivia didn’t mention it to neither you or Hugh. She actually found it funny that your tiktok was filled with edits.
She wondered if her dad’s phone was the same. So she checked one day when Hugh was taking a nap and left his phone unattended. Like you, he had the tiktok app installed. Olivia tapped it and, like expected, his tiktok was filled with edits of your marvel character.
“Cute.” Olivia commented as she scrolled down. She then saw an edit of your character and Logan. She found it adorable that people made edits of characters that have no relationship with each other only because their actors are together.
Later in the week, Olivia had caught you watching one of those edits with your character and Logan. It was the afternoon and you two were watching Legally Blonde on the tv. Eventually you got somewhat bored so you scrolled on tiktok and watched the edits that popped up on your fyp on low volume. Still, Olivia could hear them.
From the corner of her eye, she watched as you shared the video with Hugh. She couldn’t help but smile.
“What does ship mean?” You asked her. “Like ship as in a boat? A comment says I ship them so hard.”
“No, the person means they want two people to be together. Like Elle and Emmett, I ship them. Or another example, me and Spencer Reid.” Olivia explained.
“So this person really wants Logan and my character together? That’s nice. Thank you, I think so too.” You smile and continue scrolling. “I’m going to tell your dad that I ship us.”
@kellyxo1 @barnes70stark @ru-kru @flyestvenustrap @evasmlp
#hugh jackman blurb#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman one shot#hugh jackman imagine#hugh jackman fanfic#hugh jackman fanfiction#hugh jackman#marvel actress!reader#actress!reader
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Fluid, Dynamics
“So, uh…” Anakin said, looking around him. “This is weird.”
“Is there something wrong, Master Jedi?” the Kaminoan asked, concerned. “I was going to welcome you to Tipoca City.”
“Oh, I’m actually not a Master,” Anakin replied. “My Master’s busy, I’m just…”
He shook his head. “Sorry about that, it’s very unprofessional of me. I know I’m supposed to be professional, but being around this much water is very odd for me.”
“Being around water is odd for you?” the Kaminoan repeated. “...is there an alternative? I know Kamino is an unusually wet planet, but I did not think the difference was that stark.”
“I’m from a world where there just… isn’t water,” Anakin explained. “The only way we got water to drink was to pull it out of the air, and there wasn’t enough to go around.”
Then he frowned slightly. “Actually, uh… come to think of it, it isn’t all that far from here to my homeworld… do you think I could ship some water over there?”
“That is an… odd request,” the Kaminoan admitted. “But I must admit, we do have more water than we know what to do with. Perhaps we could discuss something like that after our main business is completed.”
“Sure,” Anakin agreed. “So, where do we get started?”
“I will take you to Lama Su,” the Kaminoan decided. “He will show you the current state of progress.”
Anakin nodded, absently, mostly thinking about showing up at Tatooine with a freighter full of water.
“How often does Anakin go on missions without you?” Padme asked, curious.
“It happens, sometimes,” Obi-Wan replied. “Increasingly often these days, actually. Anakin is approaching the point where he will have the chance to become a Jedi Knight, and… I worry about him a little.”
“Is that something a Jedi does?” Padme said.
“All the time,” Obi-Wan replied. “But right now, Senator, your safety is the highest priority.”
He frowned. “Though I must admit, I was expecting there to have been some kind of assassination attempt by this point.”
“You almost sound disappointed,” Padme suggested.
“No, no, it’s pattern recognition,” Obi-Wan replied, firmly. “You see, my missions with Anakin so rarely go smoothly. And if this mission is going smoothly, where the biggest danger we’ve had to deal with is mosquitos, then I dread to think about what is going on with Anakin.”
There was a beep.
“...like that, for example,” Obi-Wan added, taking his comlink out of his pocket. “What is it, Anakin?”
“So, first I want to say, I didn’t set out to do this, Master,” Anakin said.
“...oh dear,” Obi-Wan sighed. “That’s never a good sign. So, what is it that you didn’t set out to do?”
“So it turns out that Kamino was building an army for the Jedi,” Anakin said. “Also, it’s a really wet, flooded planet, they actually have too much water, I didn’t know that was possible! But I said that Tatooine had too little water, and since they had all those giant ships anyway I thought some of them could be used for transporting lots of water…”
“Sorry, Anakin, Kamino was building an army for the Jedi?” Obi-Wan repeated, a little incredulously. “That seems like the most important part of the situation.”
“No, no, the most important part is that some guy called Darth Tyrannus hired this bounty hunter called Jango Fett to be the clone template,” Anakin said. “And get this, he’s the one who killed that bounty hunter we chased, and things got a bit complicated… anyway, I went over the technical details and the clones have this weird chip in them and I think Chancellor Valorum might have been trying to assassinate the Jedi because the chip would have let the Chancellor tell the clones to kill the Jedi… obviously I told the Kaminoans to take that bit out because we didn’t need it and it’s way too much like slavery if you ask me. Anyway, uh, I’ve got the clones shipping water from Kamino to Tatooine for now, the Kaminoans are actually totally okay with it because they’ve got too much water, and I rescued my mother, too! I told you she was in danger!”
Obi-Wan took several seconds to process that particular bit of Skywalkerness.
Then he processed it a second time.
“…you have the clones… shipping water to Tatooine,” he repeated.
“Yeah, it’s going to break the Hutt control over water production and transportation for anything above the subsistence level,” Anakin said. “And it’s going to make Tatooine a way better place-”
“I have to interrupt you there, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said. “You said you rescued your mother? That’s very impressive, but you didn’t tell me she was in danger.”
“I did!” Anakin objected.
“You said you were dreaming about her,” Obi-Wan pointed out. “That does not mean you were dreaming about her being in danger. That’s quite different, Anakin, you must remember to use the right words if you want me to know something.”
“...oh,” Anakin said, and Obi-Wan could hear the shrug. “Well, anyway, I think there might be some kind of Sith plot involved too because of the whole Darth thing. Do you think Chancellor Valorum was a Sith?”
“I see what you mean,” Padme admitted.
#star wars#another bad day for palps#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#padme amidala#kamino#attack of the clones
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