#< new tag lets go?

[separatist-apologist]

Genuinely, and I mean this kindly, but learning to recognize bait and not engaging with it will change your fandom experience.

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

Hot take maybe but I think Bertie would be FAR more likely to survive the first two months of Dracula than Jeeves would be. Bertie has a healthy sense of self-preservation. Jeeves consistently underestimates how dangerous a situation might get (Steeple Bumpleigh, the club book) because he’s overconfident about his level of control over any given situation. He'd handle Dracula masterfully if they faced off in England, but on Dracula's home turf? Much more doubtful.

I realize this might be a tough sell, so I will explain further (or it's not a tough sell, and I'm going to explain further because I want to). (criteria taken from @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula) Without further ado.

Would Jeeves and Wooster survive Castle Dracula?

Jeeves

Jeeves' survival will depend on how long Dracula finds him more entertaining than irritating. On that basis, I don't think he's long for this world. On the one hand, he has a huge wealth of knowledge about English society and culture that he can recite perfectly from memory. That should buy him at least a little time with noted teaboo Dracula.

On the other hand, he would be absolutely no fun as a vampire plaything. Jeeves cannot be got. Sneaking up on him while he's shaving will yield zero reaction (though that's at least good for his short-term survival--given that, although he DID take the crucifix from the old woman out of politeness, he certainly isn't going to wear it. The rules of fashion don't go out the window just because you're in a spooky castle). Then, although managing the whims of rich jerks is not an insignificant part of a valet's job, Jeeves usually does this by bending his employers to his will. Dracula is not the sort of employer this will work on. It'll just add insult to injury when on top of being impossible to scare, NOW Jeeves is telling Dracula that his favorite cloak is several centuries out of fashion and he's not allowed to wear it anymore.

Jeeves will 100% go exploring in the areas he was told not to go-- though to be fair, he MIGHT actually get away with this, what with his superpower of appearing in rooms without being seen or heard. Said superpower might save him from the brides as well (though this is by no means guaranteed). Since I find it doubtful that Dracula would come to rescue his annoying ass, not being noticed is his best defense.

There are a couple other things working in Jeeves's favor; the question is just whether they'll be enough to save him.

He DOES know shorthand, and could try to send coded letters. He might even have the foresight to squirrel away some extra stationary where Dracula can't find it. But could he get them posted? Would it even do him any good?

He certainly has enough cultural literacy to figure out what his new boss is pretty quickly. If he didn't chuck the crucifix out the carriage window, he might start carrying it around in his pocket.

Psychology of the individual, sure, but the individual in question is a 400-year-old vampire who lives in an isolated castle in a foreign country and is regarded as a terrifying mythological figure in the surrounding villages. Jeeves has never come up against anything this alien before, he's cut off from his normal resources, and opportunities to play people against each other are limited.

He probably has enough upper body strength from all that shrimping and fishing to climb the wall, so he COULD escape if he wanted to, if he survived long enough. It's just, again, that overconfidence, and also Dracula has a vast library full of rare old books that are entirely at his disposal. He's keeping his eyes and ears alert for potential escape strategies, of course, but I don't see him being as desperate to get out as Jonathan was.

There are just a lot of "depends on"s here, and I'm not convinced that luck would shake out in Jeeves's favor, all things considered.

Bertie

Bertie is so perfect for the job of Castle Dracula Prisoner it's like it was made for him. Think about it. Being held against his will in big manor houses comes more naturally to him than breathing. He's afraid of things that are scary. A lifetime of dealing with Aunt Agatha has made him the world's preeminent expert in "curl[ing] up in a ball in the hope that a meek subservience [will] enable [him] to get off lightly." He will NEVER go exploring in places he's been warned away from if nobody is forcing him to (Rev. Aubrey Upjohn's office notwithstanding. There were biscuits in there). He's both fun to talk to and easy to toy with (and extremely English). A+ prisoner. Dracula adores him.

In my opinion, Bertie is at Castle Dracula either because Aunt Agatha got some wires seriously crossed and thinks he’s going to meet an eligible potential bride (I mean, there are certainly brides there), or because Dracula has something Aunt Dahlia wants him to steal (far less likely, given that one of Dracula’s THINGS is famously not owning anything silver). Either way, he's shown himself entirely willing and able to escape down drainpipes if a sitch gets too scaly.

He DOES take the crucifix, and DOES wear it (which is what will save him during the shaving scene, because you KNOW he's going to jump a foot and cut himself like the dickens). He's read enough supernatural goosefleshers to be genre savvy about terrified old women cryptically pushing crucifixes into one's hands. I also think his sunny disposish endeared him to the villagers, and they were particularly vehement about urging him not to go. He doesn't speak German or Romanian, but he's empathetic enough to recognize Pure Terror. So by the time he actually gets to the castle, his imagination is already running wild and he's plenty aware that he is in imminent danger.

I think the biggest risk to Bertie will be the brides; whether or not he's susceptible to trances, if he thinks they're trying to marry him, it's against the code of the Woosters to turn them down. But that only becomes an issue if he comes face to face with them, which, luckily, I think is unlikely on account of the aforementioned "won't go exploring" (and if he did, Dracula would definitely rescue him).

I'm inclined to say due to his drainpipe-escape habits that he WOULD be able to climb the wall and MAY attempt to sneak into Dracula's room to look for the keys if his desperation grows to outweigh his fear. Whether he does or not, though, he does NOT have the stomach to attempt shovel murder, and therefore won't get magic brain fever, and may very well simply walk out the front doors when the people come to take the boxes away. OR he climbs his way out like Jonathan did. Either way.

When Bertie tells this story at the Drones later, Tuppy will say that no doubt it's been greatly exaggerated and all that probably happened was that he spent a couple months in an oldish house entertaining a weird loner.

[bluevelvetea]

So start by saving me, Itadori.

(Find my reference here)

[metalmachination]

hello. i am learning to draw this Thing . Go my first post

warning for scary endoskeleton face under the cut

unfortunate!

[spaciebabie]

goat and lamb qpr save me. save me goat and lamb qpr

[divorcedfiddleford]

and you may say to yourself: "my god! what have i done?" and you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful wife!" and you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful house!" and you may ask yourself: "well, how did i get here?"

time isn't holding up, time isn't after us, time is a pony ride! (images described in alt text)

[nandermoenthusiast]

not them having a fucking showdown about which one of them was more devoted to the other………… not them making it a fucking competition and a fucking argument which one of them is more down bad horrendous for the other and STILL they havent had their realisation in the dead of night/day while lying in their bed/coffin that the other has feelings for them

[ukegenius]

i havent drawn in days these are all couple days old ill make something worthwhile PROMISE i have a couple sketches i wanna get done i am executive dysfunctioning hard lately

been gettij into rick and morty typical opinion moment season 5-6 make me bored season 7 is awesome tho lets go guys

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Ascended Astarion Manipulation

I'm back on my dark bullshit. Now thinking of your "choice" to be a vampire spawn. Any sane person would refuse, and Astarion is aware of this. So he decides to convince you with some very not good tactics.

Tw: Obsession, manipulation, jealousy, ascended Astarion doing ascended Astarion things, bad, bad, man, toxic relationships

~

Astarion had developed a significant lack of patience ever since reaching Ascension. It was hard to entertain most things when he'd achieved the power to twist the vast majority of situations in his favor. But he was trying his damndest to be patient with you. Despite the fact that your constant refusals made him absolutely furious. You insisted that you loved him, that he was all you would ever want, but yet you still refused to undergo the change.

It's not like he was asking for much, if anything you should be thanking him for the opportunity. He was offering you the gift of immortality, with little to no drawbacks. Besides your unwavering devotion of course. But what was that in the face of absolute freedom? You would never have to worry about a thing again. He would keep you safe and cared for, all while you'd both be free to walk in the sun. He had endless funds now that he had taken over Cazador's estate, unmatched political power in a startlingly short amount of time, considering his work as part of the heroes of Baldur's gate, and the power to obliterate nearly any mortal enemy he could think of. Anything you desired he could give, if you would just let yourself take that final step.

But as much as he wanted to be solely angry at you, he really only had himself to blame. Why had he insisted on being so descriptive about the limitations of being a spawn? He had been such a cowardly moron back then, with no imagination to imagine a better future. And now he was paying for it. While it was true he would never make you a fully fledged vampire, it didn't mean he would mistreat you. He loved you. Adored you more than anything else in existence. And having you as his spawn, his official consort would be for your benefit just as much his. This was the only way he would have complete control over you, fully able to protect you from everything. Including yourself.

But you weren't buying his lies about eventually becoming equals. The offer of giving you everything you ever wanted also fell flat, considering how he was already doing that. He just couldn't help but spoil you.

He had started to wonder if he should just force it. He would prefer not to, but he would if it came to it. But he didn't get this far by not using his brain. Force wasn't the way with you, it never had been. If anything, turning you against your will would just lead to decades of fighting and bickering, something that Astarion would like to avoid if possible. He would hate to make the experience of putting you in your place unpleasant.

No, he would try to be reasonable one more time. And appealing to your emotions, to your guilt, seemed as good a bet as any.

He waited until you were comfortable and relaxed. You were dozing off against his chest in bed while Astarion contemplated the best approach to this conversation. If this didn't work, then he'd just have to bite the bullet and bite you without your consent. Then, he'd probably have to lock you away for a time until you came around to your new state of being, an idea that did send a shiver of excitement up his spine.

But not yet. He was willing to give you one more chance to do the right thing.

He ran the tips of his fingers over your back, taking the time to work up a couple of tears before fully waking you with a seemingly accidental shake. He sniffled loudly, barely managing to hide his smile as you blinked your eyes open. You blearily looked up at him, immediately tensing when you saw the sorrowful expression on his face.

You sat up quickly, concern knitting your brows together as you asked, "Star? What's wrong? What happened?"

Astarion looked away with a shake of his head, "I... I didn't mean to wake you darling. Ignore me, I'll be fine."

You shook your head. You gently turned him back towards you, both hands cupping the sides of his face, "None of that. Tell me? I'll never be able to sleep if I know your upset."

Astarion gripped your wrists as he spoke, his voice soft, "I don't want to upset you."

"You won't," You said, just like Astarion knew you would, "I promise. Just tell me what's wrong?"

He took a deep breath, his voice barely over a whisper when he admitted, "I'm so afraid of losing you, my love. I... I just can't stop thinking about it."

"But I'm not going anywhere-"

"For now," Astarion interrupted, his voice pained. He only had to take a portion of that, "But... one day you'll die. And I won't. I... I don't know how I'll ever live without you."

He could feel you tense up, badly enough for you to almost pull away, but he just tightened the grip he had on your wrists. You sighed, looking away with a guilty frown, "I-we've talked about this. I don't-I'm not ready to be... that."

Astarion could feel that same anger creeping back up at your rejection, but he stomped it down. He could tell that you were semi-buying the act. You were so much smarter then he gave you credit for, never failing to challenge him. Just one more thing he loved about you.

Astarion took a shuddering breath, nuzzling into the palm of your hand, "I know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I just... I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," You said softly, "I'm the one who asked."

"But I'm the one who woke you," Astarion argued, "I'm so sorry darling. I want to let this go. I do. But I... I'm scared. Of so many things. I'm afraid that you think... that you think I'm like him. That you don't trust me to take care of you like you deserve. I'm afraid of you dying yes, probably more than anything but... I'm nearly just as terrified of you leaving."

That speech was... a touch too honest for Astarion's liking, but it seemed to be working. He could see tears prickling in your own eyes, your resolve shaken in a way he had yet to seen.

"I-I do trust you. And I know you're not like him. I'm just... I'm scared too. What if... what if you get tired of me? What if you find someone better suited for you? Then I would just... be there. Forever tied to a man who doesn't want me."

That... actually hurt to hear. Didn't you know that you were it for him? That he would set the whole world ablaze if it meant keeping you safe? No one would ever get between the two of you, he'd slaughter anyone who would even dare try.

Astarion finally let go of your wrists, opting to pull you into a tight hug instead. He cradled you against him, whispering in your ear, "That will never happen. You're mine. There is no one else, nothing else, that will ever change that. And if you let me I'll prove it to you, for all eternity."

You were fully crying now, so, so close to breaking. You just needed a little more to push you over the edge.

"I love you," Astarion murmured, one thing that would never be a lie, "And I can't live without you. I won't. It's either forever with you, or my life ends the day yours does."

"Don't say that," You whimpered, "Please don't say that. I-I don't want that for you."

You were so close to him, so distraught. He could smell the siren call of your blood through your skin, calling out to him. He made the choice then and there, he was biting you tonight. Without or without your consent. It would be up to you if it would be a fight or not.

"Then give me this," Astarion pleaded one more time, his real emotions coming to the forefront, "Let me have this life with you. Please my love, let this happen. Let me change you. For me?"

This was it, your last change. Astarion could only hope that you wouldn't disappoint him.

And you didn't, perfect thing that you were. You were nearly sobbing into his shoulder, but you were nodding against him, your voice barely audible through the tears, "Y-Yes, I'll do it. For you. You... you can change me."

That was all the permission that Astarion needed. He was sinking his fangs into your throat before you could even process it, so, so ready to drain you dry.

You gasped at the unexpected pain, but you didn't fight him. You let it happen like the good pet you were, all you had needed was a little push. He could feel you start to fade away, your body becoming more and more lax as you started to die in his arms.

But that was fine. You were about to be reborn into something better, someone who would never be able to leave his side.

This was it. Now, you were his, in every way imaginable.

You would never be away from him again.

[codgod]

yaaay yippee woohoo ^-^

[soft-cryptids]

Ghost's attention almost had a weight of it's own, dark eyes sharp when they locked on the object of his interest, his focus absolute and unwavering. Most of the time it was cold, clinical, assessing; analyzing the risks and the possible benefits. Sometimes it was predatory. Possessive. Dangerous.  

It was always heavy.   It was always there.

A physical touch, blade pressed to skin, cold air on the back of the neck.

Most people found it unnerving, but Soap felt almost naked without it; the weight of Ghost's attention was as familiar as the shape of a knife in the palm of his hand, the scent of smoke, the burn of good scotch at the back of his throat. With Ghost next to him, or knowing he's watching from afar, following him with a scope - it was grounding. It felt right.

[joonebugg]

MOONWATCHER‼️💪🥶🔥

SHE IS MY GIRL BRO SHOUTOUT MOON!!!!!!!!

Winter, Kinkajou, and Qibli are here too I guess.../sillay /lh

And as always, @yellow-computer-mouse !!!!!!!! Get in here boy!!!!!!!!!!!! I made hod dog!!!!!!!!!!!

[mattodore]

theo and his attack dog

[brw]

MUSIC FOR THE DEAD AND RESURRECTED: POEMS; “GENESIS”, valzhyna mort. // DAYSPRING, anthony oliveira. // AVENGERS VOL 1 #107, steve englehart. // A BROTHER NAMED GETHSEMANE, natalie diaz. // nathanielorion on tumblr // AVENGERS WEST COAST VOL 1 #66, roy and dann thomas. // WEST COAST AVENGERS VOL 2 #2, steve englehart. // KILLING FLIES, michael dickman. // AVENGERS WEST COAST VOL 1 #65, roy and dann thomas. // valtsv on tumblr // AVENGERS VOL 1 #108, steve englehart. // ANTIGONE, jean anouilh, trans. lewis galantière. // AVENGERS WEST COAST VOL 1 #68, roy and dann thomas. // AVENGERS VOL 1 #52, roy thomas. // ANTIGONICK, anne carson. // DIOSCURI, dante émile. // WONDER MAN VOL 2 #25, gerard jones. // BROTHER BY THE INTERSTATE, k.c. cramm.

[tiafrye]

Delicious 🩸

[courfeyrec]

i keep coming back to 'i was a functioning alcoholic til nobody noticed my new aesthetic' because i do distinctly remember conversations about how taylor seemed to be drinking a lot more and getting drunk at like every awards show she went to. and those conversations were coming from a place of concern and of hoping that she was alright and that this wasn't a problem.

so to then say 'ugh i can't believe no one noticed this problem i had' when i know that people definitely did, and on the same album say that fans who are genuinely concerned about a new relationship that you are in are just 'bitching and moaning'? what do you want from them? you're talking about so many people who do at least believe that they are coming from a place of care and concern, and you are totally dismissing them on both ends of a scale!

not to mention that her implying that since nobody (???) was noticing her ~aesthetic~ drinking problem she just stopped having it is a bit of a kick in the teeth to people who do have drinking problems and can't just stop having them, since that's not how it fucking works.