#again still new to alt text. i like being a little bit silly but let me know if it gets in the way of accessibility

[divorcedfiddleford]

and you may say to yourself: "my god! what have i done?" and you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful wife!" and you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful house!" and you may ask yourself: "well, how did i get here?"

time isn't holding up, time isn't after us, time is a pony ride! (images described in alt text)

[serendipitoustae]

What Your Father Says

pairing : alt band! taehyung x reader

genre : college au, established reationship, fluff, implications of smut but not that explicit

word count : 7.8k

summary: your father doesn’t want you to be with taehyung but you simply do not care

a/n: loosely inspired by the vamps song because all i could think about whilst listening to it was rebellious teen romance.

“That ridiculous band have been wreaking havoc again” your dad sighed as he looked at the local paper whilst you ate your bowl of cookie crisp cereal. “Says here that they spray painted the local skate park before having a bonfire on the premises all for a silly little music video” he continued shaking his head.

“They were getting permission to do it” you told him before realising what you’d said “I mean I assume they did because they used to always ask before they did things for videos” you quickly added

Your boyfriend Taehyung was part of the local rock band that the majority of adults over 40 absolutely despised. They hated their style, their music and most importantly the so called trouble they caused in the name of art. Your dad had never been a fan of Taehyung no matter how polite he was whenever he came to your house. A couple months ago after you helped the band set off a load of fireworks in a car park, your dad forced you to break up with him. He didn’t want his precious little girl involved in that kind of thing. You’d never understood why he cared who you were with, he never cared about your life at all. He rarely even asked how your day was but to avoid arguments and tension in the house you “broke up” with Taehyung. As far as your dad knew you had no contact with him at all but of course you did. You weren’t going to break up with the boy you loved because your dad didn’t like him. Your mother knew you were still with him, she’d always loved Taehyung and was outraged when your dad suggested you broke up with him. She often covers for you when you go out with Tae and says you’re studying at a friend’s or simply that you’re ‘out’ because your dad really didn’t care that much about your whereabouts.

“I bet you’re glad you’re not involved with those trouble makers any more” your dad said as he turned the page of the newspaper

“Yeah I’m really glad” you said in a blunt tone before your phone went off

From: Mik

outside angel x

You’d changed Taehyung’s name in your phone to ‘Mik’, his last name backwards, so that if your dad saw your phone he wouldn’t know you were still with him. You looked out of the window and saw Jungkook’s truck on your drive way, Jungkook was the bands lead singer and despite being the youngest he was often the designated driver. Taehyung used to always drive you to college but since you ‘split up’ he’s been riding with JK so your dad didn’t recognise the car.

“Namjoon’s here I’ll see you later” you said

You always used your best friend Namjoon as a cover up for anytime you were going out with the band. Your dad loved Namjoon and often asked why you’d chosen to date Taehyung over him as he was so intelligent and sensible.

“Bye, send Namjoon my regards” your dad said not looking up from the paper as you left

“I will” you said as you walked out of the front door.

You opened the back door of JK’s truck and were instantly met with the sound of ‘something in the way’ by Nirvana one of the band’s biggest inspirations. Taehyung was sat in the back behind JK just in case your dad ever happened to look in the car. He didn’t actually know what the other band member’s faces looked like so if he saw JK you’d be able to lie about who he was.

“Hey baby” Taehyung grinned as he pressed a kiss to your lips the second you were sat next to him. You brought your hand up to cup his face as he nestled his ring cluttered hand in your hair and deepened the kiss

“Ugh! Guys come on it’s not even 9 am it’s too early for your pda” JK groaned from the driver seat next to Yoongi, the bands bass player.

“You’re just jealous you’ve not got a girl as hot as mine” Taehyung smirked as he wiped the remnants of your lip balm from around his mouth “is that strawberry flavoured?” he asked licking his lips to which you nodded “it’s nice” he said pressing another kiss to your lips. This one a lot shorter lived than the other.

“Can we just get to college before they fuck in the backseat” Yoongi groaned causing you and Taehyung to laugh.

The drive to college was fairly uneventful other than the boys talking about the big show they were playing at the end of the week. It was their biggest show yet and there would be a tonne of record labels scouting for new talent so to say they were nervous was an understatement.

“My dad heard about what you guys did at the skate park” you said

“Let me guess he said ‘aren’t you glad you aren’t with that absolute rapscallion Kim Taehyung anymore’” he said mimicking your dad with a pretty spot on impression

“Yeah pretty much” you laughed “you guys did get permission though right?”

“Of course we did, they said they’re thinking of demolishing the skate park soon so we’d be doing them a favour” JK explained.

When you got to college JK and Yoongi went straight to their music class but Taehyung walked you to your lesson as he always did even if it made him late.

“I’m perfectly capable of getting to class by myself you’re going to be late” you told him as you walked up the stairs to the art department

“It’s a music class, the teachers don’t give a shit about us so it doesn’t matter” he replied as you got to your class door

“If you get in trouble don’t blame me” you said

“I would never” he said as he pulled you into a quick kiss, you went to pull away as you knew your whole class was probably watching but he followed your lips and held you there for a bit longer

“I don’t think my whole class needs to see that” you laughed as you pushed his chest away from you

“Sorry that strawberry lip balm just tastes really good” he smiled licking his lips

“You can have it if you like it that much” you told him

“No it tastes better this way” he said quickly kissing you again

“Bye Tae” you said as you rolled your eyes and walked into your class.

Your lesson was off to an extremely boring start. There was only so long you could listen to your teacher talk about colour theory before you were ready do a Van Gogh and cut your ear off.

“I wish we could just get on and do some painting already” Namjoon whispered from his seat next to you, you agreed as you doodled on the page you were meant to be taking notes on. Even though he complained about it you could see Namjoon’s page was full of notes written in green biro.

Once you had finally got on with some painting your phone sounded from the pocket of your denim jacket.

“Phones on silent please” your tutor said, you knew it was Tae texting you because your phone was on silent but you had it on the setting so it would go off no matter what if it was him.

From: Mik

can you come outside please x

You looked up at the window of your class and saw Tae looking at you with his big puppy dog eyes. Despite the majority of your friends not caring for the school system at all you were somewhat of a goody two shoes. Tae was well aware of this so you knew he’d only want to get you out of class if he really needed to.

“Can I go to the toilet please sir?” you asked, your teacher said yes without even looking in your direction. You quickly left the class as you wanted to be out of class for as short a time as possible.

“I’m so so sorry I didn’t want to pull you out of class but I need to calm down because if I ditch again I’ll get expelled and I can’t get expell-“ Taehyung rambled before you interrupted

“Babe it’s okay what’s wrong?” you asked as the two of you began walking out of the art building

“So you know we’ve got that massive show on Friday, we wanted to practise for that in our lesson because obviously that’s our priority right now” Taehyung started as you entered the smoker’s area and he sat on one of the tables pulling out a box of cigarettes.

“Our teacher said we had to learn some shitty pop riff instead and obviously we should get an exception because we’re the only people in the class that actually give a shit about music but no, apparently they don’t give a shit about the biggest opportunity of our lives” he continued as he lit a cigarette with the lighter you’d painted for him and pressed it past his lips. The lighter had your own take on Van Gogh’s starry night as you knew Tae loved that painting. You’d done it so the moon was the Nirvana smiley face and you still remember the smile on Tae’s face when he’d received it for his birthday. After blowing out the smoke carefully to avoid getting any in your face he began speaking again.

“I refused to do the task and explained to the teacher why but she didn’t seem to care so she kicked me out for being disrespectful” he said taking another drag of the cigarette.

You felt bad for him, you really did. He’d gained such an awful reputation as a student for speaking out against the system. He hated being told what to do with an absolute passion. Obviously he listened to his teachers, but sometimes he just didn’t think they were fair and more often than not he was right.  You stepped closer to him and rested your hands in the traffic light red hair at the back of his head, careful not to loosen his bandanna. You felt his entire body relax under your fingertips.

“I know you’re stressed about the show but I promise you could do it tonight and absolutely smash it so not much more practise is needed. I know it’s unfair and stupid that they won’t let you practise in your lesson but you’ve just got to suck it up, I know that isn’t what you want to hear but you know your parents will stop you from playing the show completely if you get in anymore trouble with school” you told him as you continued to play with his hair.

He sighed as he put his cigarette out in the ash tray beside him.

“I love you” he muttered as he dropped his head to rest on your chest “I’m sorry you have to put up with my bullshit”

You pressed a kiss to his head before pulling him up by a hand on his jaw so he’d look at you

“It’s not bullshit you’re passionate about your music and your teacher should understand that , I love you too please don’t think you’re something I have to put up with helping you is what I’m here for” you smiled

“Thank you, can you come over tonight please?” he asked

You knew you’d have to tell your mother in advance so she could make up a lie to your father as to why you weren’t home.

“Of course I can I’ve gotta get back to lesson are you gonna be okay?”

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into a tight embrace

“Yeah I feel a lot calmer now sorry for keeping you from your lesson” he said as he released you

“Stop apologising I’m here for you okay?” you told him once again holding his face so his dark eyes were looking in yours

“Okay” he grinned before pressing a kiss to your lips

“I’ll see you later” you said walking back to into the art department.

“Was I gone for suspiciously long?” you asked Namjoon as you carried on with your painting

“No not really, is Tae okay?” Namjoon asked obviously having seen him outside before you left

“Yeah he just needed calming down but he’s okay now” you said

“You’re really good for him you know he’s been so much calmer since you two got together”

Namjoon and Taehyung were neighbours so they grew up together and were still best friends now. That’s how you’d met Taehyung in the first place.

“What’s that noise?” you asked Namjoon as you sat at his dining table studying

“Oh it’s Taehyung and his band” Namjoon told you.

You’d seen Taehyung around as you spent a lot of time at Namjoon’s so it was inevitable you’d see him every so often. You’d never really spoken to him though oddly. You were quite happy about that fact though, he was extremely attractive so much so that it intimidated you slightly.

“They sound good” you said

“We could go watch them rehearse if you wanted? I think we’ve earned a study break” he smiled as he closed his textbook and removed his glasses.

You loved the sound of whatever they were playing but you weren’t sure if you’d be able to cope watching Taehyung playing drums and actually being in his company.

“No it’s okay I’m sure they don’t want us intruding” you said

“Oh come on I know you’re just scared because you think Tae’s hot” Namjoon laughed

You looked at him with wide eyes and furrowed brows.

“Did you think I didn’t know? You think I don’t see you staring at him through the window every time he gets home” Namjoon chuckled

“Okay fine let’s go then” you said as you stood up pulling your oversized Kurt Cobain t-shirt down as you did so.

You and Namjoon walked over to Taehyung’s garage and Namjoon let himself in as you assumed he’d done hundreds of times before

“Hey guys this is Y/N she thought you guys sounded cool is it okay if we watch you rehearse for a bit?” he asked.

The garage was painted a dark blue and covered in old rock band posters, it actually looked quite similar to your bedroom. Once you’d taken in your surroundings you looked at the three boys before you. The guitar playing lead singer was smiling at you as was the bass player, it was the sort of smile that made you feel like they knew something you didn’t. You looked at Taehyung as he was sat behind his drum kit running his hands through his dark hair as he shot you a small smile.

“Yeah that’s fine” Taehyung said as he twisted his red drum stick round in between his fingers.

Namjoon introduced you to all the boys properly and Yoongi told you he liked your outfit even though it was simply just a long t shirt with some fishnet tights. You sat on the sofa opposite their set up and watched them perform a cover of ‘Paradise city’ by Guns ‘n’ Roses. You were surprised that you’d never been friends with any of the band considering their style and music taste was very similar to your own.

After that day you realised Taehyung wasn’t nearly as intimidating as you thought he was. He was actually really sweet which most people wouldn’t assume from his leather jackets and the multiple metal hoops in his ears.

It took around a month after officially meeting for you and Taehyung to get together. All the boys had said from the second you met it was obvious you two would get together as you were just perfect for each other.

When your lesson had finished and you were off to lunch you and Namjoon met the band at their usual table. Once you were sat down you texted your mum telling her you’d be going round Tae’s tonight.

“Would you be able to sleepover tonight?” Tae asked as he rested his arm on the back of your chair.

Sleepovers with Taehyung were always harder to get away with. Your father wouldn’t allow you to sleep round a boy’s house not even Namjoon’s and unfortunately you had no girl friends that you were close enough to that they would lie for you.

“I don’t know I’ll have to think of some sort of excuse” You told him

“I was thinking we should all get new piercings so we look cooler for the show” JK announced

“Yes I am up for that idea” you answered knowing the statement didn’t include you but you would love to see your boyfriend with more piercings. He already had loads in his ears and one in his tongue that he got done when you got your nose pierced. You still remember the horror on your dads face when you came home with studs on either side of your nose. That was probably the start of his hatred for Taehyung.

“What would you like me to get?” Taehyung said as he faced you. He was so open to things like tattoos and piercings and didn’t really make a big deal out of them.

“A nose ring maybe?” you suggested excitedly

“Okay gorgeous, do you wanna go after college?” he asked to which you nodded.

“I was thinking of getting my eyebrow pierced” Yoongi said

“Okay great I’ll get my nose done too” JK said

“Are you gonna join us?” Taehyung asked Namjoon

“I’d pass out if I even saw a needle so I think I’ll just go home” he said

Namjoon was very different to the rest of you, he had completely different style and completely different music taste but you were still all great friends which you couldn’t be happier about.

Once you’d finished college for the day all of you minus Namjoon piled into JK’s truck and made your way to the piercing shop. It wasn’t the most amazing place but it was cheap and you didn’t have to make appointments.

Yoongi and JK went in to get their piercings first as you went in two at a time.

“I’m gutted we can’t even post a cute photo of us having almost matching piercings after I get it done” Taehyung said as you sat on the black leather sofa in the shop.

The chances of your father seeing anything you or Taehyung posted on social media were low but not zero so just to be safe you hadn’t posted anything accept for on your private stories.

“We can take some and put them up in your room maybe” you suggested

In the year and a bit that you two had been together Taehyung had made a photo wall of the two of you above his bed. There was photos from your dates, from his gigs and just stupid little selfies you’d taken together. You wished you could do the same in your room.

“You ready?” the piercing woman asked Tae as she came out with Yoongi and JK. Taehyung nodded and you both inspected the boys’ piercings before going into the room.

Taehyung laid on the chair like he’s done several times before and you sat in the chair opposite. You watched as the needle went through his nose cringing as you remembered exactly what that felt like. Despite his eyes watering slightly due to the pressure on his nose he was fine. After thanking the woman he came over to you standing close to you so you could see the piercing.

“It looks so good” you smiled

You both left the room before joining the other boys. They all had a proper look at each other’s piercings smiling as they did so.

“We’re gonna look so cool at the show” JK said everyone instantly agreeing.

JK dropped you and Taehyung back at Taehyung’s house and you were still thinking of a way to stay the night without your dad finding out where you were.

“Dad I’m home” Taehyung called as you both walked through the door

Taehyung’s dad came to meet you at the door quickly noticing the piercing

“Oh nice piercing, loving the outfit Y/n” he smiled

You’d always adored Taehyung’s dad, he was always so complimentary and supportive of you that it made up for what you lacked from your own father.

You and Taehyung went upstairs and you laid on his bed as he hung his jacket up on his door. He came and laid next to you before pulling out his phone to take photos of the two of you. You did multiple poses making sure you could see his new piercing. He also did a little video because he loved being able to take screenshots from them to have genuine photos of the two of you smiling together. Once he’d edited the brightness and vibrancy of the images he sent them to his Polaroid printer that he had. Once they’d printed he grabbed the ball of blue tack from his bedside table and added them to the photo wall.

“I’m so jealous of this wall” you told him as he laid back down with you

“Why don’t you just tell your dad we’re still together? I treat you well I’m polite I don’t see his problem” He said as he fiddled with your fingers that were rested on his chest

“I know it’s just that he thinks you’re a bad influence and think you’re the reason I dress like in his words ‘a groupie’ and the reason I got my nose pierced” you explained causing him to scoff

“You dressed like that before we even met properly and you’ve always wanted a nose piercing, it’s not like I’ve impacted your life badly your grades are still perfect and the only time I’ve got you in trouble was when I snuck us into that pool that one time” he said

You could feel his frustration through the way he was speaking and how he sighed after each sentence.

“Babe you don’t have to tell me I know , I just don’t want the argument with him and I don’t want him being an asshole to you” you told him you know your dad would eventually get over it but it would just cause a lot of problems in the house and there didn’t need to be anymore.

“Last time I checked we’re planning our lives together you’re gonna have to tell him at some point you’re almost eighteen he can’t control who you’re with” Tae said sitting up which made you fall to the mattress as you’d been laying half on his chest.

“Why are you blaming me?” you asked as he pulled his bandana off and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I’m not” he muttered

“Well it sure sounds like it” you told him

“I just don’t understand when you’re planning to tell him , he can’t really do anything about it and if he kicks you out or something you can just live here” he exclaimed

You sat up and looked at him. He was deliberately avoiding your gaze and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Well maybe if you didn’t have such an awful reputation then he wouldn’t want me to date Namjoon so bad” you said

You knew it was a low blow and something Tae often got jealous over but you couldn’t believe he was blaming you for your father’s disapproval.

“If it makes your life easier go fucking date him then! You know all the shit your dads heard about me is just rumours” he yelled instantly turning to you as he stopped.

“I’m so sorry babe” he said, he’d always had a rule that he’d never yell at you. There wasn’t a specific personal reason for you it just didn’t sit right with him. “It’s just so frustrating I treat you like a fucking princess and I still can’t get his approval because of things other people have said about me”

You didn’t mind that he’d yelled at you, you found the situation frustrating but it must’ve been even worse for him. Your dad used to somewhat like him but the bigger the band got the more rumours about him spread and eventually your dad didn’t care about the whole year he’d already got to know Taehyung.

“It’s okay I get it I’m sorry about the Namjoon comment you know I’d never want to be with anyone but you” you told him

He sighed and wrapped his arm around you

“It’s not okay I should never raise my voice at you I’m not mad at you I’m just mad at the situation” he said before kissing your head.

“I’ll see if I can talk to him at some point soon” you said

“I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring as long as I can be with you I don’t care” he said before pressing his lips to yours.

You gently moved your weight forward so he was laying down and your position was more comfortable. His hand gripped your hair as his tongue moved against yours the metal of his tongue piercing creating an icy contrast to the warmth of your mouths. He hummed slightly into the kiss as your hands travelled under his ‘Children of Bodom’ t-shirt. He sat up slightly, assisting you in pulling the shirt over his head before laying back down and pulling you further up his lap. You could feel the cold metal of his rings on your skin as his hand ran underneath the skirt you were wearing. It was then that your phone rang causing the two of you to groan at the interruption. Sitting up, still on his lap, you leaned over and grabbed your phone seeing it was your mum before answering it.

“Hello?” you said sounding more breathless than you’d hoped

“Hi sweetie there’s not a way I can convince your dad to let you stay out for the night especially as it’s a school night, he’s home late from work tomorrow so Tae’s free to come round here I’ll leave the house to you two” your mum said

“Okay thanks what time do you want me home?” you asked

“Eight pm latest”

“Okay see you then”

You hung up before tossing your phone on the bed next to you

“Take it you can’t stay” Tae mumbled against your neck as he pressed kissed up to your jaw

“No I’ve got to be home for eight but dad’s out all day tomorrow so you can come to mine” you told him as you tangled your fingers in his hair and leaned your head to the side giving him more access to your neck.

“Ooh sneaking about now are we?” he said as he trailed kisses back down to your collar bone “that’s hot”

You laughed at his words softly before you felt him bite lightly at your neck

“You can’t leave marks remember” you reminded him

“Not in visible places” he smirked as he undid the zip at the back of your skirt.

“Babe”

“Babe!”

You stirred at the mellifluous sound of your boyfriend’s voice

“What?” you groaned as you snuggled deeper into the warmth of his bare chest

“It’s almost eight I’ve gotta get you home” he said

“I wanna stay here” you whined still half asleep

“I want you to as well but you can’t” he said as he got out of bed gathering both of your clothes and underwear before dropping them in a messy pile on the bed “You gonna be able to walk?” he smirked as you did up the clasp on your bra.

“Don’t flatter yourself” you replied

“Excuse me” he grinned in false offence causing you to laugh

Once you were both dressed and you’d made yourself look presentable, he drove you home stopping a road before your street so your dad wouldn’t see.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, I love you” you said pressing a kiss to his lips

“I love you too” he told you as you got out of his car.

“I’m home” you said as you entered the dining room to see your parents

“Hi sweetie did you have a good time at Namjoon’s?” your mum asked

“Yeah it was great” you said

“Why does he never come in to say hello?” your dad asked

You look at your mum quickly “Uhm he’s a busy guy these days lots of studying to do” you lied as best you could

“he used to always come in when he dropped you home, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re secretly still dating Taehyung behind my back” he chuckled causing you and your mum to let out nervous laughs

“No never, I’d honestly forgotten about Taehyung until you mentioned him” you lied as if you hadn’t been laying naked in bed with the boy less than twenty minutes ago

“That’s what I like to hear” your dad said

You quickly exited the room and went to the bathroom before turning on the shower as you hadn’t had a chance to have one at Tae’s.

Once you’d finished and were in your pyjamas back in your bedroom you checked your phone.

From: Mik

my bed smells like you come back please i miss you

To: Mik

trust me i wish i could, almost thought my dad was onto us a second ago

You explained what your dad had said and discussed whether or not you thought your dad knew. You two had been so careful that there’s no way he could know and it’s not like your dad was that clued up about your life so you were pretty sure you were in the clear.

“Okay I’m going to be out as long as you want me out for later” Your mum said the next morning as she came into your room “I’ll tell your dad to let you know when he’s on his way home you’ve got to make sure you leave no proof of Taehyung being here though” she continued

It was risky sneaking Tae into your house whilst your dad was at work. You’d never done that since you “broke up” but you thought if you were careful it would be fine.

“Get him to come in the back door so that the neighbours are less likely to see, I’ll unlock it on my way out” Your mother added

“Okay I will” you told her before she left the house

Text From: Mik

house empty?

Text To: Mik

yep, come in the back door x

You had a couple hours until you had to be at college so you were hoping you’d be able to get some more sleep in whilst Tae was there. Within ten minutes you heard the back door open and footsteps coming up the stairs.

“Morning beautiful” Tae smiled as he entered your room instantly pulling his shoes off and climbing under the sheets next to you. His cold body sliced through the warmth you’d previously been surrounded by as he wrapped his arms around you.

“You’re freezing” You whined despite curling into his chest

“Would you rather I wasn’t here?” he said

“Of course not” you replied as his hands began playing with your hair.

You laid in silence for a while, simply enjoying the comfort of a sleepy morning together that you hadn’t been able to have for a while. When you were allowed to be together he’d stayed most nights and if he didn’t it was likely you were at his. You’d spend every morning wrapped in each other’s warmth having nonsensical half asleep conversations.

“I’ve missed this” he muttered into your hair but you had already fallen back to sleep.

You were wrenched out of what was a seemingly pleasant dream by the screeching of your alarm. Tae’s arms tightened around you as you rolled over in his embrace to turn the alarm off. You managed to sit up out of Tae’s arms slightly deciding that as he was already dressed he didn’t need to be woken up yet.

As you sat next to him you took the time to fully take in his appearance. The slow rise and fall of his chest signified his relaxed state as did the way his thick lashes that were smothered with eyeliner sat upon the flawless skin of his cheeks. His red hair that was once flat against his forehead was now sticking up in the air exposing the slit he’d shaved into his eyebrow a couple weeks ago. You were flooded with a sudden rush of adoration for the boy lying next to you, you never got to properly relax and appreciate him for what he was as you were always worried about getting home and making up excuses these days. He groaned slightly as he rolled over, his arms wrapping around the duvet you were previously laying under. You’d always found it endearing that the Kim Taehyung most people were intimidated by had to cuddle something in order to sleep, whether it be a pillow, a teddy or ,his preferred option, you.

“Stop staring at me you weirdo” he grumbled as his puffy eyes opened and met yours

“Is it wrong for me to appreciate how beautiful my boyfriend is?” you asked

“When you’re denying him morning cuddles it is” he said through a yawn as he made grabby hands at you

“I’ve gotta shower and get ready” you told him before ruffling his hair and getting out of bed

“Can I join?” he asked smirking at you

“No you cannot you can get me an outfit ready though” you laughed before heading to the bathroom.

Once you’d showered and put clean underwear on you walked back into your room and saw Tae sat at your vanity table his hair now a lot neater than when you’d left him.

“I chose the AC/DC t shirt and your red skirt” he said as he quickly stood up to grab the clothes “I was thinking you could where the long sleeved fishnet thing you wear sometimes with your red boots maybe to match the skirt” he said as he looked up at you with his pouty lips and wide eyes showing you he wasn’t sure if he’d chosen well.

“Yeah that sounds great” You smiled walking to your draw to pick out your fishnet top.

“You look so hot in that” he muttered as you pulled the fishnet shirt over your head “Shame JK’s getting us in ten minutes”

You rolled your eyes at him and the way he was like most boys constantly thinking about one thing.

“Don’t forget we’ve got all afternoon once we’re back” You reminded him

“How could I forget? My favourite person all to myself with no interruptions, it’s a dream come true” He grinned as he pulled you into him by your waist and pressed his lips to yours

“I’m starting to remember-“you said into the kiss “why we were late all the time when you’d stay here” you smiled as your arms wrapped around his neck

“That’s young love for you” he grinned as his hands began trailing down south

“Go downstairs so I can get ready with no distractions please” you said as you took his hands off of you

He feigned offence as he looked at you

“The one time your boyfriends here with you in the morning and you’re telling him to leave? The audacity” he said

You giggled at his expression

“You know I take ages to get ready even without distractions and you said it yourself JK is gonna be here soon so please”

“What if I don’t want to?” he challenged as he stepped closer so he was towering above you face inches away from your own

“What if I make it up to you later?” You shot back raising your eyebrow at him looking him up and down for extra effect

“Done!” he said before leaving the room

After being only slightly late to college you were in your usual spot next to Namjoon.

“Are you sure sneaking Tae into your house is the best idea?” he asked as he mixed his water colours

“My dad’s at work all day and my mum has left us the house so what can go wrong?” you asked

As much as you loved him, Namjoon didn’t have a rebellious bone in his body and would often make you think through your antics properly before you did them. You weren’t particularly rebellious apart from dating a boy your Father hates and consistently lying to him so that you can go and see said boy.

“What if your dad comes home early or what if one of the neighbours sees and tells him?” Namjoon said

“He’s going to text me when he’s on his way home and Tae’s going to go in the back door so the neighbours probably won’t see” you assured him

“Okay let me know if you need me to cover for you at all for any reason” he said

No matter how much he disagreed with your actions he’d always be there to help you if you needed it and for that you were eternally grateful.

Once you finished college you got JK to drop you home, you went in the front whilst he drove round the back to drop Tae off. You dropped your bag and walked through the house to open the door for Tae.

The second the door was open his hands were on you as were his lips. You stumbled backwards into your living room as Tae walked forwards, his lips still feverishly attached to yours.

“What’s the rush? We’ve got all afternoon” you asked as he started trailing his lips down your neck

“We never get to be this alone, I’m making the most of it” he mumbled as his lips reconnected with yours your dark lipstick now smeared all around his mouth. He continued walking the two of you backwards before grabbing the back of your thighs and pulling you up to wrap your legs around his waist. Taehyung carried you through the house for a second before pushing you up against the wall simultaneously pushing himself into you causing the both of you to groan slightly.

“As much as I love this just go to my room already” you said moving your lips only millimetres away from his to speak.

“What’s the rush? We’ve got all afternoon” he smirked mocking you

“Shut up” you rolled your eyes

“Gladly” he said as he reconnected your lips and began blindly walking to your bedroom.

Once you were there he dropped you onto your bed before taking his shirt and jeans off and climbing on top of you. You’d already taken your shirt off so he instantly placed his hands under your skirt and began pulling your underwear down with one hand whilst the other held your face. Seconds after you’d put your lips back on his you heard the front door open. Tae pulled back and you stared at each other with a similar look of horror.

“Y/n?” Your dad called

“I thought he was working late?” Tae whisper shouted

“He was supposed to be!” you replied as you quickly got up throwing your shirt back on and checking yourself in the mirror. You quickly grabbed a makeup wipe to get rid of the lipstick on your chin and neck.

“Y/n are you home?” your dad’s voice sounded again

“Yeah I thought you were uh working late?” You said as you made your way downstairs

Your dad was in the living room placing down his brief case and loosening his tie when you walked in

“I was meant to be but my meeting got cancelled, I was going to text you but my phones dead” he explained

Your mind was running a million miles an hour trying to work out a way to get Tae out of your house without your dad seeing.

“When you didn’t answer and I saw the back door was open I thought someone had broken in” your dad laughed causing you to laugh in return

“Sorry I had my headphones in” You lied avoiding eye contact with him. As you did so you noticed a pair of shoes by the still open back door. Tae’s shoes. How did you not even realise he’d taken them off? Anyone that had ever met Tae could recognise those shoes as his anywhere as they were covered in little doodles he’d designed. Your father was yet to see them but there was no way you could discretely hide a pair of size 10 Doc Martens.

��Would you mind getting me a beer?” your dad asked you as he sat down on the sofa

“Yeah of course” you said but you didn’t want to leave the room because you knew your dad would see Tae’s shoes if he wasn’t distracted by conversation. As you grabbed a beer from the fridge and were making your way back to the living room you heard your dad yell your name.

“Where is he?” your dad said as he met you in the kitchen

“Who?” you said knowing there was no point lying but not knowing what else to say

“Don’t play dumb with me Taehyung’s here his shoes are by the back door, god I thought he’d be smarter than to leave evidence of him being here right in the living room” he scoffed

“In his defence you weren’t meant to be home for hours” you said knowing it would just make the situation worse

“He’s upstairs isn’t he?” your dad asked despite knowing the answer and already heading upstairs

“Dad wait!” you called rushing after him, oh how you hoped Tae had put his clothes back on and wiped his face before your dad found him.

You trailed behind as your dad opened your bedroom door and saw Tae sat on your bed. You let out a sigh of relief as he was now fully clothed. “What are you doing in my house?!” Your father said causing Tae to jump to his feet “Dad it was my idea don’t be mad at him” you tried as you stood between them both but your dad dismissed you completely “She’s lying sir it was my idea I’m so sorry” Tae said You snapped your head towards him a his words “What are you doing!” you exclaimed at him “Dad I promise you it was my idea he’s just trying to protect me” you said turning back in your dad’s direction. “I don’t care whose idea it was I want him out now!” Your father shouted pointing at your door. Tae looked at you with an apologetic look on his face before walking towards your door. “Tae stop” you said causing him to look back at you “Dad what’s your problem?” “What do you mean? Isn’t obvious? Look at him!” Your dad exclaimed gesturing towards Tae “He looked like that when you knew we were together so what’s happened to make you hate him so much?” You asked as Tae made his way too your side Your dad sighed and sat down on the chair of your vanity table “For starter’s he didn’t have red hair and a nose piercing when I knew, I just don’t want my daughter involved in the antics him and those boys get up to” he explained His words made absolutely no sense to you and you were about to voice that when Tae spoke up “Sir if you don’t mind me saying the things the papers write about us and our music videos we always get permission for everything we do, we’d never do anything against the law and if we did I wouldn’t involve Y/n” Taehyung explained “I understand you’re protective of her as any father would be but I can confidently say I treat her perfectly and have given you no reason to think I don’t” he finished Your dad looked up at him and shook his head “I never said you don’t treat her well I know you do, but I also know what it’s like being in a rock band it starts out harmless and legal but the bigger you get the worse it gets and before you know it you’re all drug addicts and alcoholics and I just don’t want her getting caught up in that like I did” he said You never knew your dad had been in a band. You’d never think he’d ever have the guts to do something like that, he’s always been so sophisticated and quite frankly up himself as far as you were concerned. “How have I never heard about you being in a band?” You asked “Because it’s not a time I’m proud of and I wanted you to think better of me” he admitted causing you to laugh “I’d have thought better of you if you’d told me” “Well now you know , Taehyung I never asked for you two to split up as a personal thing I’m just afraid you’ll get into things like I did” You father said looking at Taehyung without disgust for the first time in a while. “You know how headstrong and stubborn she is she’d never do something out of peer pressure and would probably be the one stopping us from doing anything like that” Tae laughed smiling at you “I know you’d rather her be with someone like Namjoon I’m aware I’m not good enough for her but by some miracle she thinks I am so would there be any hope at all of you letting us be together?” Tae asked “Honestly I always knew she’d end up with someone a bit different and alternative and if you continue to treat her well and promise you won’t get her involved in anything bad then I suppose you can stay together” Your dad smiled “Seriously?” you asked making him nod

“Thank you! I promise I swear on my life and hers I will never involve her in anything bad” Taehyung grinned at him

“Thank you dad” you smiled as Tae pulled you into his arms

“This door stays open though!” Your dad said as he left the room.

“I can’t believe that was so easy I should’ve snuck you in weeks ago!” You said

“I told you if we just spoke to him it would turn out okay” Tae said

“so where were we?” he added as he kissed you running his hands under the hem of your shirt.

“We weren’t anywhere, not with my dad right downstairs” you laughed as he continued to trail his hands under your shirt

“That’s definitely not stopped you before”

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-03-12

I have been told only a few things about the upd8 that just landed, over Discord by two people:

upd19 feat. 4,901,157 read it. now. note: the featuring note is accurate if in a different base than what you might be expecting

What the fuck does that even mean.

Okay Pretty good chapter.

...from another friend who VERY dislikes HS^2?  Oh shit.

I also glimpsed a post that may or may not have been about Homestuck at all at the top of my Tumblr feed for an instant that said “YES YES YES YES YES” in huge bold print.  I have no idea whether to be excited or nervous.

Okay, it’s not a Bonus update... let me comb through from an earlier page to be careful not to get a spoilerlook at the pagecount...

...huh.  That seems... like a conversation that would be up my alley, but not necessarily unique so far or worth all this crowing about.  I thought we were about to get Dirk-aliens with a full Horschestra backing... are we getting something else?

> CHAPTER 6. A Conversation Regarding Relevance

Hmmmmmmmm.  With the contrast between their reactions and this ominous buildup, there’s got to be a serious fun-twist coming.  Right?  --I’ll stop with that talk for the moment though.

space is vast. an unproductive statement, almost a tautology. [...]

Alright, that and the starry background are riffing the fuck off Star Trek.  Nice homage to Andrew’s roots.

the lives of the many are far too volatile and instinct-driven

Alt!Callie what the fuck are you doing.  This is intentional now.  You can’t play this off as “what’s a Star Trek”.

tautologies are, in general, reserved for stories. for narrative device. for finding new and inventive ways to tell an audience that which they already know.

God damnit she’s still doing it

neither of us ever able to convince the other of the righteousness of our stance. we were never meant to agree. it isn’t in our blood.

Blah blah overanalyzing classpect blah

when they scoff at my tautology ‘space is vast’, what do they really know? nothing. as far as any of them have experienced, space does not exist.

It’s still nice to see some real personality leak through on Alt!Callie.  We definitely know from her other self that she can develop quite a relatable and colorful one.  Have the years helped?

> ==>

dramantic pouse... ........

Also,

-look at that collar.  Damn, Callie, that is a collar

very few have stood and looked into the abyss, the true gulf of nothingness that spreads out around the single point of consciousness adrift in a constellation. all the combined weight of sentient endeavour would quail underneath that sheer, irresistible truth. the realization that they are so small, that the universe cares about their puny lives so very little. sitting in the glowing light of the stars this becomes even more apparent

In the official aspect quiz I never took the time to analyze, the aspects were put on a wheel where Space was a neighbor to Void, if I recall correctly.  I wonder how much those aspects engender feelings of goddamnit I’m doing it again aren’t I

...

are we out of orange juice?

Yesss let more personality Alt!Callie bleed through, more of it~

Wait, does Alt!Callie even taste through Jade?  Isn’t this remote control?  Is she vicariously drawing pleasure from Jade’s not-just-meat-or-candy mostly-human taste buds or?

> ==>

JADE: are you talking to me? JADE: because if you are i would like to remind you that i hate!! orange juice!!

OH FUCK YES!!! SHE’S IN THERE AND AWAKE!!! SHE STILL HAS AT LEAST ENOUGH AGENCY TO BE PRESENT AND ARGUE WITH CALLIE! YESSSSSS

no you don’t.

JADE: well i guess i never really had a strong opinion on it before JADE: but now i cant stand it!! JADE: its all you drink!

i like the pulp.

QUIT INADVERTANTLY FORCING SHIT ON JADE WITH NARRATIVESPEAK GIVE HER A BIT OF LEEWAY ALT!CALLIE YOU CONTROLLING--

JADE: its my body and i dont want orange juice! JADE: i hate pulp, and i didnt just make that up to spite you JADE: who wants strings in their juice?

i do.

JADE: ughhhhhhhhh

I have had friends hopefully fantasize about and/or therapeutically roleplay this exact situation with Jade breaking through and arguing with Alt!Callie’s control to make this all a fair bit more palatable but I didn’t dare to hope we’d get even THIS much

Maybe the HS^2 authors DO care about not leaving us wallowing in hopeless witness to the characters’ constant torture and existential turbosuffering!!!! :#D

i realize that jade’s situation is less than ideal from a characterization perspective, but i still politely point out that nobody likes a whiner.

Fuck you, this isn’t CALIBORN you’re trying to repress you asshole!  Leave Jade some AGENCY!!!!!  She deserves it!!

JADE: fuck you rude calliope inside my head!

YES EXACTLY

JADE: why dont you try being possessed by the spirit of some other version of a good friend of yours, and floated around a spaceship full of people you love JADE: unable to affect anything or say hello to anyone! JADE: then tell me about whiners!

i killed my brother and consumed him.

JADE: sounds like a you problem

Compromise and give her some agency finally come on compromise and give her some agency you red-text twatwaffle

i suggest to the witch that i have spent untold eons in the void between universes, waiting for the moment i would be needed to prevent the dissipation of reality as we know it. her appeals to emotion will not help her. i will remain unmoved.

Oh god damnit.

JADE: well i had to watch my boyfriend and my brother die in front of me on a tiny scaled version of a world that i shrunk for them! JADE: and then spend the next three years talking to myself, wracked with guilt that id killed them!

Oh. God. Damnit.  This had better not be where the Suicide trigger warning was coming from.  Are there going to be any characters left who DIDN’T emerge from this mess feeling suicidal?!?  (I mean if there were any understandable case it would be three years alone on the golden ship Jade but-- I mean COME ON, we have to discuss that in our FIRST GLIMPSE at her since the epilogues?!?)

> ==>

i remind the witch that my time was in the void, which is far darker and lonelier [...]

Oh fuck you don’t compare suffering as an excuse to COMPLETELY body-enslave and squash the agency of someone when you probably don’t have to.  You’re just doing what’s COMFORTABLE alt!Callie admit it.  There’s a way you could give her some leeway, I’m almost positive.

JADE: even if i had the powers of a first guardian, my brain still worked in modules of human pattern recognition! JADE: three years is a long time for a human teenager, i dont care how many of her molecules are made of a god!

(i love it when jade talks smart, that bit of the epilogues was a treat too, plz reveal more of the big brain on jade)

It seems Jade can’t see or quite understand the full import of there being a “narrative”.  Or THINKS she cant, because she still says:

JADE: your voice is impossible to read and i cant see your face

If she’s “reading” alt!Callie’s remarks, that means she’s breaking through to understand the narrative to SOME extent.  She might be one of the ones who learns to do that a little more and better in the future, especially with alt!Callie almost unintentionally training her to see it.

> ==>

Oh, good.  So A!C’s not above being considerate.  That’s a step in the right direction.

> ==>

D’aww, Jade conceding and trying to empathize like her usual self.  I appreciate it.  :)  --but Alt!Callie’s definitely in the wrong here.

JADE: but i think it is a very natural thing to be silly when you are used to being able to control your own body, but now cant

i will allow that, yes.

Thanks.  Learn some damned reason.

jade smiles. dave and karkat will always be a source of pain for her, a low ache somewhere in her center of gravity, but she is happy for them. she knows that there is really no other alternative for how to be. they chose each other over her, and they always will. they are the two people who matter to her the most in every universe, and that will not change, no matter how much she wishes it would, no matter how--

JADE: do you actually know that?

pardon me?

Oh, shit.

JADE: do you actually know that im doomed to pine over dave and karkat across every iteration of reality? JADE: like, can you actually see that? JADE: because youre a space player, like i am. JADE: i know that you are more powerful than me, but i dont think you can see other timelines any better than i can JADE: so i think you are just being dramatic JADE: for the “audience”, whatever the heck that means

i experience a moment of unease as jade looks at me. keeping her out of my thoughts is proving to be more difficult than i had first assumed it would be.

That’s a damned interesting question.  I was giving the narrative the benefit of the doubt, but given everything the Epilogues warned us about when it came to the narrators and alt!Callie’s occasional slips into her own bias, I really should have known better.

i had begun confident that i could keep her consciousness sleeping peacefully inside the shell of her body, tamed and quiescent, but she has proved to be more irascible than i initially gave her credit for.

JADE: heheh JADE: i have never been particularly tamable, and my consciousness is huge!

This might end up playing out more like my friend’s Jade-breaks-out roleplays than I initially assumed.  (What does she mean “huge consciousness” though?  Superpowered due to part-First-Guardian, like she alluded earlier in the conversation?  That never got much play before, so it’s great to see that potential realized here a bit...)

> ==>

...I’m a fucking idiot.  Of COURSE “huge consciousness” and the whole line around it was just an unsubtle double-entendre.  A small part of me actually wondered if it was and dismissed it as a clumsy reading in an instant.  How stupid am I?  Jade is the best.

If only this sort of thing worked on Cherubs.

> ==>

Yeah.  It really doesn’t.

...Alt!Callie, you are a fucking war-criminal for bottling all these double-entendres up where none of the others can appreciate them.

> ==>

JADE: you are a pretty tough crowd, evil callie JADE: but yes, i can hear most of what you are thinking to yourself JADE: it took a little while to separate it from my own thoughts, just like it did with dirk JADE: because thats what he was doing the whole time, wasnt it? JADE: controlling our thoughts JADE: making us believe things we never would, things he thought we SHOULD believe

Fucking excellent.  She’s definitely training herself on this shit.  The more people who have a harder time getting fooled by this nonsense the better.

jade knows all of this, i don’t have to tell her. she is a very bright girl, and even if she didn’t have partial access to my thoughts, she is good at compiling data and using it to fill in gaps. as she herself had rather licentiously mentioned, her brain is quite large.

C:

and all of these reasons are why i know i can count on her to be reasonable and realistic about her situation. i need a body to continue interfacing with this timeline, and her body is the only one that will do.

Dammit.  Trying to get her to logic her way back into keeping Alt!Callie in complete control.  That’s a tactic that will probably work.  :(

what about [kanaya], jade? she is a space player, it is true, but her powers are nothing compared to yours. for one, she isn’t god tier, and for two, she is dead. a living dead, but dead nonetheless.

Hm.  Are you saying she maybe has less relevance, less of an effect on her surroundings because she spent some of her “cred” on unconventional partial resurrection?  To the extent where she’d make a less influential vessel?  Hmm.

For that to even matter, you have to be planning to use Jade’s Space powers too.  Taking a far more active role in things than narrative beacon.

and a sylph’s specializations lie on a different end of the spectrum from my own. a witch is a far closer match.

!!!!!

Sounds like details of the classpect system that we don’t know will have relevance in HS^2, and we’re indeed gonna possibly get some actual new, clearer details about the system Andrew invented unlike the dearth of new info the Epilogues brought us.  That is... promising.

no, jade understands and sympathizes with my assurance that her body, and her body alone, will do for my purposes.

JADE: um...no i dont!

YES.  Jade is now officially immune to absolute command! :D :D :D

she does. after all, she would not wish this sort of state of being on anyone else, and especially not on one of her friends. jade may have undergone a lopsided number of narrative hardships in her life, but at least she is used to them. why spread that suffering to another?

What the fucking shit???  You’re using that on her?  You think it’ll WORK?!

jade understands and accepts her place in the story, which has always been to enable events to play out around her, just as it has been mine.

..........yeah Jade’s gonna bust the fuck out on the very next page, isn’t she.

What the fuck is Alt!Callie thinking, here?  Wasn’t the other Calliope the one to let us know that the Witch is one of the most active classes there is??  ...what exactly does a Witch officially do anyway, for Alt!Callie to think saying such a thing wasn’t dead wrong?  This sounds MUCH more like the sort of statement someone might make after breezing through Homestuck and confusing the old Jade (cough) for the person she grew up into.

And the fact that you’re phrasing this as a narrative command to try and make her forcibly THINK this way deserves you a smack in the non-literal depictive face.  Let’s see if you get one:

> ==>

Oh wow, no smack yet?!  That’s some restraint!

because what is a story, truly? nothing but a series of misadventures and connections, actions spurring reactions, tumbling into one another, over and over and over. with so many competing interests, clearly the story cannot account for all perspectives, for all threads? it would be laughable, childish, even selfish, to demand that they do.

in other words, not everyone will achieve a happy ending. this is a truth that jade had come to grips with a long time ago.

JADE: wait. JADE: stop. JADE: why are you saying all of this?

Ohh.  Because she still had even MORE smackworthy stuff left to say, to make the smack even SMACKIER, didn’t she.  Alt!Callie you asshole.  If this gets you kicked out of her almost entirely and jeopardizes the crew as Jade struggles to combat Dirk’s narrative influence on her OWN, then I’m fucking blaming YOU!  Do you realize how horrible it’ll be if Dirk gets to almost singlehandedly write the whole story around her and the others for the first section of HS^2 with only one or two characters aware and trying to mentally avert it??  We already TRIED that in the Epilogues!  It was awful!

jade’s body is my vessel, and it is through this realization that she will understand her true role in the story. her true relevance.

Go fuck yourself, Alt!Callie.  Read the audience a bit!

if i released my hold on her consciousness, there would be no guarantee that i would be allowed in again. therefore i cannot permit her the control of herself that she so desperately craves, and she understands that.

THAT’S your reasoning your used-to-surpressing-Caliborn ignorant--!??

JADE: wait. so...you could give me my body back, and then just hop back in when you need to?

in theory, yes.

JADE: then what the hell callie!

because i don’t trust you to cooperate when the time comes.

MotherfuckerTheMusical.mp4

(or real existing equivalent that’s just off the top of my head)

JADE: why not? JADE: i thought you said i was a reasonable girl with a huge brain!

you are, to an extent.

she is. but the truth of the matter remains that humans are capricious and emotional. and even jade herself can admit that she hasn’t been the most...committed example of her species in the last few years.

Oh my fucking god.  I know they’re trying to make this more satisfying when she actually DOES take control in a few panels, but, Alt!Callie, seriously, get more on your other self’s level!!!

> ==>

Yes, please >:O some more

moving from lover to lover, job to job, interest to interest. over the last few years jade had found herself listless, unable to settle and unwilling to commit to anything or anyone. she knows there’s nothing wrong with that on a moral level, but on a personal level she’s always believed that she could be more, could do better. be better. and now, because of this, she realizes that sacrifices must be made.

and that she, as a space player, is uniquely built for sacrifice.

JADE: yeah JADE: i guess youre right JADE: i have been such a silly little slut! JADE: hey callie

yes, jade?

JADE: oh my god, whats that!!!!

You are so fucking screwed Alt!Callie.

this space is utterly under my control. jade could control it too, if she had any access to her own powers. but with my grip around her cortex, there is no chance of that.

(Wait, there’s an extent to which this space is “real” and not imaginary?  Or does holding her space powers in check also mean keeping her imaginary space powers in check?)

Anyway, here comes the smack.  And, though Alt!Callie deserves this, I hope Dirk isn’t let in too often amidst the others as a result.

> ==>

Yup, poising to pounce...

> ==>

I thought there was a weird infinity symbol underneath them but it’s just two spotlights and a shadow cast by her head.

and here i make my first mistake.

No you made your first mistakes WAAAY earlier in this conversation.  And what you did to Jade in general.  She’s a hero/player for a reason, she doesn’t take stuff lying down forever.

but bringing her into a place where we can both physically manifest has left me, foolishly, vulnerable.

First, physically manifest?  This isn’t pure imaginationspace?  And second, she’s going to blame her polite concession to Jade for this and hold on even tighter the next time, isn’t she.  God damnit, not looking forward to that.  Alt!Callie won’t learn her lesson til the end, will she?  :(

her fingers tear at my throat, trying to find purchase. she won’t be able to kill me here, but it is certainly unpleasant, and not to mention slightly repetitive. we just saw this in the previous chapter, although this particular fight will not end as amorously as the last one did. so don’t get your hopes up.

JADE: who! JADE: are you talking to!

I really hope Jade ends up with full narrative powerOOOOOHHHH FUCK THEY COULD GO FOR THAT HUH

Dirk was able to become an Ultimate Self in his own body because it was the uniting of an irrepressible “self” that he always unbreakably represented.  The others had more trouble.

But Jade

has a BIG PART-GOD BRAIN as reinforced in the narrative repeatedly!!

Meaning that later, SHE could Ultimate Self without ANY PHYSICAL CONSEQUENCE.  :D

I was hoping Jade would end up with full narrative-dictating-and-reading power when she wants to use it, at some point, but I might’ve been aiming too low! :D :D :D

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay

Now all the playfully-horny omnipotent Jade fanfics are true, what that totally isn’t part of why I love this go ahead and admit she doesn’t deserve it

> ==>

Yesss flashy gif struggle against control!  (Though, not as elegant as one of Andrew’s might’ve been. Gotta say.)

> ==>

Blinky-eyes about to resolve normal-Jade-colored....!

> ==>

Wait, what?  I thought Jade was about to snap in and--

during the ship’s trip through space, there have been numerous experiments; modifications to the nutrition output of the various machines designed to create sustenance for the various species on board. i myself have been content with orange juice and synthetic proteins, but dave and roxy have both expressed longing for various ‘earth snacks’, and so the trials and errors began.

What the fuck?  I don’t even know where this is going if it’s punways.

Is there like a dog treat somewhere that’s gonna push her over the edge?  Where is this headed even.

> ==>

Wh...

WHa??????

the results were mixed. as roxy told us in a previous chapter, alchemized food all sort of tastes the same, although the visuals really help to bring about the flavor. and at the end of the day, isn’t it the journey that is more important than the destination? the stories you tell as you create the strangely flavored nutritional paste?

JADE: ????????????

Um??  What’s even going on.

so far, everyone’s favorite attempt has been a vaguely peanut-butter and chocolate flavored creation called "Rices'". nobody eats them really. they just sit in a bowl on the counter.

i’m not actually sure what the witch is trying to accomplish here.

Is Jade trying to humorously gross Alt!Callie out of her body with a candy she doesn’t like or?  But, “suicide threat”? Why joke--

JADE: you dont? JADE: really?

i don’t know what she is trying to accomplish, because surely she would not be doing what it appears she is trying to do. making such a meaningless threat.

JADE: meaningless? JADE: do you even know anything about the body you stole? JADE: shouldnt you have run some sort of psychic physical before you possessed it? JADE: its definitely what i would have done!

Oh SHIT.  You mean Jade has the same peanut allergy JOHN does?!?

> ==>

jade must know that i am well-aware of her family-wide peanut allergy. a story thread that has been extremely important and weighed in on in multiple parts of the narrative. how could i have forgotten such a key detail?

...yes, she totally forgot, but more than that.

I’m betting John is the ONLY one with a peanut allergy.  That Jade is USING that fact to bluff like hell.  :D

(Allergies aren’t usually inherited that way you alien!)

there is nothing remotely just or heroic about dying from self-imposed anaphylactic shock in the throes of a childish tantrum. at the most i’ll get a relaxing few minutes of sleep.

Is Alt!Callie bluffing now?  Even a resurrecting death could throw her off.

> ==>

FUCK YES JADE.

JADE: do you really want to risk it?

what are you talking about, jade? i just said--

FUCK YES JADE, BE A HUGE WITCH

(i say in the most witch-connotatively and non-classpect-related way)

JADE: i dont know, callie JADE: ive never really understood the rules that govern the death of a god tier, have you? JADE: it seems pretty arbitrary from where im standing JADE: who makes the decision whether or not something is heroic or just?

...that’s unclear. but it certainly isn’t you.

JADE: right, of course not JADE: but are you so confident that youre a good guy? JADE: are you sure that the alpha timeline WANTS you to be here?

...what.

JADE: youve done some stuff, callie JADE: im only saying you shouldnt be so quick to assume that me killing you wouldnt be just JADE: and that taking my own life to do it wouldnt be heroic

Even with JUST this one fucking situation Alt!Callie put her in, throwing off her control forever by dying would be shortsighted but HELLA JUST.  What Alt!Callie is doing to her is a crime.

Oh shit!?!?

> [S] ==>

What is this, HTML5?  *clicks play*

...for a second, I thought this was gonna launch into a huge thing with that clock ticking song from the Felt album.

Having Rose and Dirk’s colors competing here really reinforces that... Prospit vs Derse vibe that was feeding the whole this-is-the-basis-for-the-game’s-structure-and-the-birth-of-Paradox-Space theory more earlier.

> ==>

i don’t let the witch manipulate me. i refuse to falter in the face of her whispers. without my careful planning and swift action, the prince would have taken full control over this timeline. none of my friends could even begin to imagine the turmoil.

In the end, you’re ignoring what’s right and brave in this instance to instead do something EXPEDIENT, to the exclusion of trust and compassion when things COULD work out just as well without taking the worst actions -- which is textbook villainous.

> ==>

JADE: they arent your friends!! JADE: you took them from me!

Now isn’t THAT a way to put it. :D :D :D

Alt!Callie is sinning almost as badly as Dirk, here.  Viewing everyone else as characters in a story, the only way she’s ever viewed “friends”, and her as the not-so-humble narrator doing what’s best for all of them.  If she’s going to win against Dirk -- or if that victory is going to MEAN anything -- she will HAVE to realize that she needs to be different.

JADE: you keep saying that youre doing all of this for my own good, but youre just lonely! JADE: i know you are, because so am i!

Ouch.

Will Alt!Callie force her to swallow it?

JADE: you said that being a space player is all about sacrifice JADE: well

> ==>

JADE: bet

...I guess she really might have an allergy.

> ==>

Aaaand the candy drops.  A W A K E ! ! ! !

Yaaaaay Jade is BACK and we’ll get to see even more of her!!!

...please tell me on the next page she grabs the candy, noms it, and mentions she doesn’t have a peanut allergy after all.  That would be sweet.

> ==>

...

Nope, you just leave us on a sad.  Dammit, why do you gotta be all adult and showin’ us both sides in a moment of triumph, HS^2.  Shucks.

Anyway, YAY JADE!  C:

I am happy by this, if slightly too emotionally-rollercoastered by the past 24-hours to give this the full-rejoicing it deserves.  That, and worried about the openings Dirk will get because of this... joy now for potential frustration later, even if Jade tries her best to let Alt!Callie back in in-time.

See y’all next time!  And, uhm.  I guess I’ll comment on whatever other asks I promised to comment on another less-eventful day.  Keep reminding me and holding me to it though!

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Gift-fic for bessie-bass (because she has all the best headcanons)

She’d barely given two minutes thought to the tweet- that was the really frustrating thing. She’d meant it as a joke- it’d been born from a moment of mild frustration, sure, but she hadn’t meant anything bad by it, she’d typed it out in less than a minute before tossing her phone aside and going back to work.

  ‘Love having my costume purloined at the last moment- perhaps I’ll grab a spare queen dress next time I need to do laundry lol’

  It had been barely a day later when the director had pulled her aside and asked if she’d looked at her feed lately. Of course she hadn’t, and said as much- she’d been working more or less nonstop to ensure everything was going smoothly with the new alts….and when he’d brought it up on his own phone, she felt suddenly sick.

  People were so ANGRY- so many tweets, direct and indirect, all telling her that she was awful, rude, disrespectful, that she was trying to ‘erase’ the queens and their alts, that she was giving herself undue importance, that she should be GRATEFUL that she could be of help to someone so much more important than herself….

And then the others, wishing her every sort of pain, graphic descriptions of what they wanted done to her in retribution….

  Watching her face, the director closed the tab after a couple of minutes but she’d had more than enough time to get the gist of it. She felt light headed, like she was in freefall.

  What had she done?

  Perhaps her distress was obvious- the ticking off was brief, but it still stung: not least to be scolded like a child but to be blamed for the response, as if it had been something she wanted.

  The injustice of it all roared in her ears and drowned out at least half of the lecture- when she realised that input was expected from her, she mumbled and apology and fled to the dressing room, grateful at least that it was a Sunday and that the theatre was relatively empty aside from her and few others putting in extra hours.

  Sitting down at her station, she tried to refocus herself back on her work but thoughts buzzed round and round her head like angry bees- humiliation, guilt, anger….and under all of it, she just felt sad.

  People she didn’t even know, would never know, were somehow angry enough at her to want everybody to know….and the thought made her feel very alone.

  Suddenly, she wanted Cathy- to see her or even just hear her voice, to be able to remind herself that at least one person wasn’t angry with her, that at least one person didn’t think she was bad. The strength of her feelings was surprising and disconcerting too. She wasn’t used to needing people (she wasn’t used to having people to need) and it made her wonder if she’d become weak, if getting used to having Cathy smile at her and ask about her day had stripped away some of her self reliance.

  It made her wonder if she should resist calling or texting- if she should push through the sadness like it was an addiction until she just stopped feeling altogether….but after a few minutes of pretending to make notes, she had snatched up her phone and was keying in a message.

  ���Hi. Sorry to bother you. I hope you’re not busy.’

  Her hands shook as she pressed send- and then it occurred to her that perhaps Cathy wouldn’t even have her number saved and added a quick ‘This is Joan btw.’

  It was only after she sent it that it occurred to her that not identifying herself would have allowed her some leeway to make comforting excuses to herself if (when) Cathy didn’t reply….but almost immediately, her phone buzzed with a message.

  ‘Not busy and not a bother- what’s up?’

  Then, quick on its heels: ‘I knew it was you silly, I have your number saved!’

  It was nice, she found, the image of Cathy actually saving her number into her contact list (the idea of her number being included in the list of Cathy’s actual friends, as if she was no different from any of them).

  She agonised over what to put- she didn’t want to explain exactly but she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to put up a good front and pretend she was only texting to chat. Besides, she never texted for nothing. Still though-

  She composed and deleted half a dozen responses- and then her phone started ringing, surprising her so much that she nearly dropped it.

  ‘Hi!’ Cathy sounded bright, cheerful- not as if she needed her free afternoon ruined by Joan’s stupidity and neediness. ‘What’s up? Thought I’d just call rather than waiting for you to reply-’

  The chiding was of the very lightest, most friendly sort- and yet it was also much too much for Joan’s current state: the implication that she had annoyed Cathy on top of everyone else (the idea that she was frustrating her, irritating her, using up her patience) was something she just couldn’t deal with.

  She gave a little gasp and burst into tears.

  Straight away, she tried to find the button to end the call- she didn’t want Cathy to hear her being so pathetic (Cathy wouldn’t WANT to see her so pathetic)- but her tears made everything blurry and her hands were shaking too much to work properly.

  ‘Joan? Joan? Are you there?’

  Cathy’s voice sounded tinny through the speaker but her tone was unmistakably frantic. It gave Joan pause that she sounded so concerned- and she immeadiately mentally berated herself for (selfishly) giving her closest (only) friend worry over something so stupid.

  She tried to take a deep breath as she pressed the phone to her ear.

  ‘I- I’m here- I’m sorry, I-’ Another sob almost choked her.

  ‘What’s the matter sweetheart?’ The warm concern in Cathy’s voice was like honey. ‘Can you tell me what’s wrong?’

  She had intended to lie and pretend to be ok (she had surely forfeited her right to comfort for being so dramatic) but instead she found herself pouring out the whole stupid story in a teary, hiccupy rush, while Cathy hummed and made soothing noises of understanding into the reciever.

  ‘-and now everyone hates me, and it’s just-’ She pressed a hand to her eyes as she finished, already dreading Cathy’s reaction. ‘- it’s just all ruined….’

  ‘Oh you poor poor thing.’ Cathy sounded so very loving, it was enough to bring fresh tears to her eyes- it was unbelievable to Joan that she didn’t sound even a little bit cross or annoyed. ‘That all sounds dreadful sweetheart, I’m so sorry-’ There was a pause and some tapping and Joan realised she must be at her laptop. ‘I haven’t even looked at twitter in days-’ Suddenly her voice was louder, indignant. ‘Oh my GOD….they- Oh Joan! I can’t believe they- it’s so-’ The fact that Cathy was speechless made Joan feel a tiny bit better: it was nice to know that perhaps she wasn’t overreacting, that other people were horrified too, that Cathy was clearly not holding her to account for how things had turned out (perhaps Cathy didn’t think she deserved it).

  ‘They’re…..a bit irate….’

 She wanted to sound funny but it just came out as a flat little whimper. It was too hard to mask how absolutely crushed she felt- as if someone had pulled out her insides, as if she was collapsing in on herself.

  ‘They’re AWFUL!’ Cathy sounded angrier than Joan had ever heard her. ‘The fact that they think they can treat you like this, especially under the guise of ‘protecting’ us….I’m going to write a tweet right now, let them know EXACTLY what I think of them….’ From how fierce she sounded, Joan almost felt sorry for anyone to catch her ire. ‘I wish I had them here now so I could really make them sorry-’ Suddenly, she paused, perhaps remembering that she was still on the phone.

  ‘Joan, sweetheart, where are you?’

  The question took her by surprise. ‘The theatre- why-?’

  Cathy sounded a bit surprised. ‘Well I’m coming to get you. Obviously.’

  There was nothing obvious about it to Joan- she tried to protest.

  ‘It’s your free day though- you shouldn’t have to waste it on me!’ She brushed at her swollen eyes with her sleeve. ‘I’m fine really- I just needed to tell someone but I’m ok, I don’t need-’

  ‘Joan.’ Cathy’s voice cut through her rambling. ‘You’re definitely not fine. No one would be fine.’

  ‘Yes but-’

  ‘I’m coming to get you. You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to and I’ll take you straight home if you like, if you want some space but….you really should take some time to relax.’ Cathy’s voice was insistent but soft, fond. ‘You work too hard. You need a break.’

  ‘Honestly you don’t have to, I can get a cab or walk or-’

  ‘Now-’ Cathy carried on talking as if Joan hadn’t even spoken. ‘Why don’t you go and wash your face, get some tissues and a drink of a water and make yourself comfy in my dressing room until I’m there? I think I left my sweater on the sofa- did you remember to even take a coat with you?’

  There was an embarrassed silence that answered her better than words and Cathy laughed quietly. ‘Thought not. Put it on, if it’s there and get yourself settled and I’ll be with you in a little bit ok? And then I’m going to get you home, run you a nice hot bath so you can relax, make you some hot chocolate and we’ll pile up some pillows and blankets on your bed and watch a movie or something ok? Something to take your mind off things. Sound good?’

  It sounded so very good that Joan found herself actually nodding into the phone, as if Cathy could see.

  ‘-and you’re going to actually eat something for dinner that’s real food’ Cathy continued. ‘Because I know you haven’t been taking proper care of yourself lately, what with all the new cast and everything. And you’re going to get some sleep at some point, because if you haven’t been eating, you probably haven’t been sleeping-’

  (It occured to Joan that Cathy could perhaps be compared to a bulldozer. A very tiny, very soothing blue bulldozer.)

  ‘-and I’m not going to leave until I’m sure you’re ok again. And then….’ Cathy’s voice takes on a slightly sinister edge. ‘I’m going on twitter because I REFUSE to let them treat you like this. And also at some point there is a tv series I want your opinion on. But that can wait til you’re up to it.’ She takes a breath. ‘Sound like a plan?’

  Joan wanted to protest again, to tell Cathy not to waste her time, to enjoy her free day and not worry…. But somehow she heard herself giving a very quiet assent to Cathy’s plan, and when the other woman arrived at the theatre half an hour later, slightly breathless and armed with a thermos of hot tea, a tube of eye gel and a bag of Joan’s favourite Malteasers, she found Joan wrapped up in her big blue cardigan and sipping a glass of water. 

  Just as she had ordered.

[dahniwitchoflight]

minor AU Completion of the Beta Kid’s Animal Symbolism

so something I’ve always thought about and wondered about, I wanna talk about for a bit, now that homestuck’s over and I’m rereading it going through the story

all of the beta kids throughout the story have unique animal related symbolism, that eventually ties into delving into greater parts of their characters, exploring even what you might consider the “darker side” to their characters, sometimes to the point of representing their inverted states/jungian shadow selves nicely tied into the idea of “lower bestial natures” being at odds with their true human natures

and these culminate and get fully cashed in by tragic/failed alternate versions of each beta kid that gets somehow mixed with their respective animal (usually through sprite shenanigans) and ends up in some way dealing with their inner issues a bit

Jade’s Dreamself (who was always very silly and prone be overemtional) dies under prospit’s moon, gets stuffed, and later resurrected as a JadeBecsprite who represents Jade’s inner tragic emotional states

Dave gets trapped in an alternate timeline with Rose, but then goes back in time after learning the ins and outs of the game, only to sec prototype as Davesprite and earn wings, and then forevers deals with the depression and aftermath of never being “Alpha” Dave ever again

Rose eventually dies in a pre retcon timeline fighting the condesce, and her corpse is thrown into Roxy’s sprite post retcon, which then merges with Jaspersprite to make Jasprosesprite^2 and which post retcon Rose is herself embarrassed by the inner revelations revealed by this character, who has itself lost all inhibitions due to the animal prototyping

but John never really gets anything of the sort, but in reality, there was a GREAT opportunity for him to have something like this happen to him, early on in the story, that doesn’t actually change much of the story at all

so this is kind of a “what if this had happened instead?” minor AU where some minor details were a little different

because the animal candidate I’m thinking of that could have had something to do with John personally in the above way, already has a great setup for this: none of its own character/personality/dialogue as it was just a programmed toy robot, minimal invasion into the plot (and most only in regards to John’s Dad related things), viewed John as it’s sole master and had a nice clean death via Green Sun explosion in Cascade

and that is the Uber Bunny Robot known as Liv Tyler

and the alternate version John candidate I’m thinking of is the John that got tricked by Terezi into facing Typheus too early and getting killed by him, causing the doomed timeline where Davesprite is from

this John also has a great setup for this, because at first we get exactly 5 or so pages describing what went down in the Doomed timeline, and all of it from Dave and Rose’s perspective, we know nothing of what really happened in that John Typheus encounter, other than “John died and thus was unavailable to help Jade enter the game”, we also get a little bit more later, when we see the Ghost of this John have a chat with a dead version of Vriska much much later in the story. John says there was more to his death than he let on, he died, but not in a fight with his denizen, because he spoke with Typheus, and knew that his death was necessary for his friends to live on, he made his Choice to die, for the sake of the timeline

and because this alternate John and Liv Tyler have a huge chunk of symbolism in common, all of which ties directly back to John, and more specifically, John’s opposite aspect Blood

the first is, the same Liv Tyler Bunny plush was given to John by all three of his friend’s on his same birthday through time shenanigans

Dave gives him the original plush rabbit, which is the actual original rabbit from the one nic cage movie john really loves, when John ecto’s all the babies, he dramatically re-enacts the con air nic cage scene from that movie (reunite with your loving wife and daughter) and gives the rabbit to Rose

Rose in this reality grows up with the rabbit as her own sentimental youthful object, its old and torn growing up with her, so she knits it back together using the needles that John gifted to her and gives it to John on his birthday

John then gives this rabbit to Baby Jade in the same reunite with loving wife and daughter scene

and finally, Jade with her then alt universe penpal Jake, send it back and forth, making robotic upgrades and enhancements and equipping it with all kinds of awesome gear:  the Warhammer Of Zillyhoo, the Quills of Echidna, the Royal Deringer, and Ahab's Crosshairs, which match the Strife Specibi of the beta kids. She does this because she foresaw John would be in danger and wanted to send something to help him fight

this rabbit is the literal embodiment of Johns strongest friendship bonds 3 times over, the literal physical manifestation of his Blood

and then Typheus!John is only able to get to Typheus because Terezi through Sollux helped him removed the 3 random objects stuck in his rocket, 3 random objects, that just so happen to be object that appear in Dave’s, Rose’s and Jade’s houses: a cinderblock, a violin and a potted plant

so again, a connection to John’s connection to all 3 of his friends

now here’s where the AU kicks in:

John is still tricked into meeting his denizen early, preserving the timeline with Davesprite and whatnot, however his choice to die to preserve the reality where his friends continue to exist has another part to it

Not only does Typheus allow him to choose to become a ghost to preserve the alpha timeline, but also gives John a sort of challenge, with a potential boon at the end

If John as a ghost can break out of his extra hard dream bubble coma, break out of his memories, remember the choice he made to help save his friends/the timeline, he may be allowed to manifest in a different physical form instead, in order to continue helping his friends/his new alpha self survive the game

all the panels where dead Vriska meets him and helps him to jog his usually hard to jog memory compared to the other ghosts still happen, but the ending is different, because of the extra challenge/boon Typheus gave him. When John remembers fully, he remembers the boon Typheus left him/how to use it, probably something like, a one use portal window thing that transports his ghost back into the physical realm, so he’s kinda in the same state Aradia was as a ghost in Alternia

so he finds somewhere where the uber bun exists, some point before it actually gets to his dreamself on prospit (doesn’t actually matter where)

and then it’s revealed after the fact, that everything Liv Tyler did upon activation at Prospit was actually the choices made by this alternate universe dead spirit version of John

it’s viable because as a robot made by Jade and Jake, it has the ability to potentially house a soul/life, just like Jade’s dreambot for her dreamself (or again, earth version of the tech that Equius made for Aradia, lot of weird Aradia parallels here, but that really only helps this AU) and something that helps is that the bun likely wasn’t built with any way to naturally communicate, no pesterchum in it like lil hal, nor a voicebox, again making a connection to this being a John which has to internally deal with/overcome that he is no longer the “important” John, but this time he’s simultaneously back with all of his friends, and cut off from them at the same time, similar to Davesprite, but also in a having no mouth and must scream kind of way (relating to symbolism of Breath = Speech/communication/mail) being the opposite of his natural element, in an unhealthy place, similar in situation to how Lil Hal was an A.I.  copy of Dirk, a heartless version of a heart player/out of their natural element and having to deal with that negative environmental influence

and it helps explain the few things that Liv Tyler seem to do with no direction, like help get Dad’s wallet containing the tumor (which a John would have recognized as his dad’s and picked up anyway) and getting to Dave Rose and helping them (when it’s stated Liv Tyler was supposed to view John and only John as his master, specifically built that way by Jade for that purpose, to protect John)

the package hes in goes through it’s shenanigans like usual, one minor change could be instead of Jack Noir wielding the bunny against the black queen to get her ring in rebellion, he could simply use one of the many regiswords/assassination requests he apparently gives out like candy, like the one he gave to PM, and the bun merely stays in the box until it’s delivered to PM and then John himself and Bun!John recognizes John and becomes his protector

but then you could just make the point in time that Alt!John merges with the bun the point where Liv Tyler’s allegiances switch to helping John from Jack Noir, so the above is just moot anyway

he stays with John for awhile, then fulfills his major mission in helping get the tumor to Rose and Dave and help them to survive/god tier in the correct time and place/again preserve the timeline, fulfilling the idea of him wanting to come back for the purpose of wanting to keep his friends safe/putting his bonds above his own internal state and self to the point of self sacrifice during the green’ sun’s explosion (again, another point for his blood overpowering his breath)

so yeah, you can see, despite all my text it doesn’t actually change much in the plot! the biggest thing could be Jack Noir not using it for the Black Queen (cuz lets be honest he didn’t really need to, his betrayal would have caught her off guard enough to grab the ring) but really just depends on where you choose to do it

AND instead of this flash: https://www.homestuck.com/story/5027 which was more comedic, we could potentially get a string of panels showing what John was thinking and feeling as the Bun Robot, so close and yet so far away from all his friends, completely alone in his own thoughts and with his only motivation being to make sure his friends survive the game, maybe in thought bubbles or code like Serenity the firefly, showcasing the sort of mental descent and depression that John is really prone to, showing how he could end up in a state where he willingly dies for his friends for their sake

I think it’s a great missed opportunity to be honest and at the very least it’s a very neat little AU Idea

and the way it’s set up would be like an awesome shock reveal too

but then also, John is already compared to nic cage so much it’s not even funny

and John himself makes the symbolic connection between nic cage being just like the rabbit “dirty, worn, old, but it’s what on the inside that counts” simultaneously making that connection to himself when he’s inside the rabbit, because it’s bot his outward appearance that matters, what matters is that He’s still John on the inside, still your best friend guys, I’m right here...

and homestuck has a pattern of turning old jokes into new serious content, so it’s not like it doesn’t fit

and if a few panels are thrown in of a ghostly spirit wandering a bit before settling on the bun inside jade’s gift, it can help establish that Alpha John later would become truly intangible and floating through not just earth, but all of homestuck itself

anyway, those are my thoughts for this idea, I think there’s a lot to go on here

the only thing thats not involved are sprite shenanigans, but If I could find a way to involve those then I would :P

maybe instead of dying at the green sun with Dave and Rose he somehow gets thrown into an sprite somewhere and becomes actual RoboBunJohnsprite (even though everything’s taken already and can’t be altered) maybe it can happen instead of Tavris or GCATavris who knows is BunJohn even survives somehow

shenanigans! shenanigans i say

[quonit-aceattorney]

2.4 Reaction

Rules:

Q = Me, Quonit.

BF = Bardic Feline, the friend that made me spend 30 dollars on the game and whom I am messaging

I don’t use those when I send the messages close enough my username doesn’t appear.

Any typos (unless they are funny and part of the conversation) will be fixed.

x Notes x

This case is why i bought the game. I comment on it a lot more than the others so it is much longer.

Index

—

:moments after completing 2.3:

Q: I CAN PLAY FARWELL MY TURNABOUT NOW

Q: dammit you're probably asleep

what is this

who is me

nobody cut the moon in half that's silly

where is the murder

where is Juan

WHERE IS EDGY

Q: hi powers!

BF: hahaha no I'm awake

Q: yay!

I am very excited

hi pearl!!!

BF: and you've actually already seen Juan, he just hasn't been named as such

Q: ???

what???

well ill have to figure it out

BF: I'll give you a hint: he was one of the dude's on stage

BF: one of the competing hero guys

Q: interesting!

I'm not old I just have a different taste.

BF: hahah it's not hard the game is about to tell you anyway

Q: pearly why :(

alright!

BF: PEARL THE MERCILESS

Q: SHE IS!!!

AND I AM RAISING HER APPARENTLY!!!

bright red guitar... Juan!

BF: hahah WELL SOMEONE HAS TO, HER MOM IS IN JAIL AND HER DAD NOWHERE IN SIGHT

and yep

Q: :D wait no he's gonna die :(

BF: SADLY, YES

the ceremony was the closest you come to actually seeing him alive during the game! Not counting flashback shots.

Q: AND I WILL DRAW HIM NOT NOT HIS FORM THE LADYVERSE

Juan x Sha is weird Like Juan is a character that does nothing in a lawyer game that Zarla got attached to. Years later, due to an accidental pallet share of two jerks one form lawyer game and one from some weird zombie game, she decided to add Juan. THEN you were interested in him and Zarla drew him a bit more, THEN YOU ADOPTED THIS VERSION OF HIM. NEXT WE HAVE TO GO INTO THE HISTORY BEHIND SHA. This time he's an original character that you for some reason decided "Hey! I like this character, and I like the curedverse, he'd do good in there sense he already has one scar!" and because you were already attached to this weird Juan person, you decided to have them both know eachother. AND THEN YOU SHIPPED IT AND WROTE FANFICTION THIS SHIP IS WEIRD

i wonder if Powers and Gumshoe would get along

matt!!!

MATT

MATT

I FORGOT OTHERS ARE HERE TOO

Q: THERE WILL BE MATT, THAT ONE BROWN HAIRED GIRL, AND BLOND ANGIE

FRICK

BF: hahahaha THAT'S....LEAVING SOME DETAILS OUT BUT YES, IT IS A WEIRD SHIP WITH A WEIRD HISTORY

Q: With details it makes it weirder

BF: Actually, Sha's involvement is even weirder than all of that

Q: i wanna hear more! I've only done a little research on Sha so I don't know much... Fire mage OC. At one point you thought about why people default to male so you contemplated Sha's gender. That is all I know.

white scarf red guitar I like Juan :(

BF: Okay, so there's a DIFFERENT fic I did in the earlier days of Lady Fandom that's basically...they characters become aware they are characters in a story and end up in a place full of characters from OTHER stories who are ALSO aware of their own fictional nature (and it actually allows Hunter and Smoker to bond more in the end)

Q: and so matt killed him

I THINK I READ THAT. They went to some bar and it was Zarla's mind and there were all of her OC's (or adopted characters) and a DDR machine.

BF: During the course of the night, Smoker has a conversation with a handful of my OCs, one of who happens to be Sha and they strike up an odd friendship. and yes, DDR

Q: :O I need to read that again.

Also Matt sucks

BF: ANYWAY, one of the rules of the metaworld is that characters in it can pop in an out of other universes, but a lot of times visiting another place means getting forced into its narratives and being forced to conform to its rules.

Q: I wonder what your metaworld looks like... 

 I wanted to like him (Matt) at least a little bit but then I thought back to the few comics I saw and he sucks Zarla made an AU where they date and it's terrible for Juan and now I hate it more >:(

BF: So if you have magic in your own universe and go visit a place that doesn't have it, you know longer have magic while you are THERE

Q: huh!

BF: Awwwww

POISONED THE MATT WELL EARLY

Q: IM GOING TO TRY AND LIKE HIM

BF: this is going to be interesting

Q: and that is why i decided to show my reaction

time to flash my badge at everyone before i go to the hallway

alright now to the hallway

BF: ANYWAY, so I started (but never got far into) a scenario where Sha and his friends decide to pop in on Hunter and Smoker just to see what their world is actually LIKE for some reason and they basically get sucked into the zombie apocalypse and all three end up infected

Q: very interesting

do you have drafts for that fanfic still haha

BF: here’s where it gets weird. in that little scenario, I imagine them getting out or getting rescued or something and being majorly shaken up by the experience...

Q: huh... I would read this!

I wanna continue but I know if I do time will move and Juan will die

Dangit

i have no choice now

BF: but then I went on to do a thing (only the first part) where a team of Assholes (Griffin, Sparkles, Mousey and...because I needed to fill out the team and he was available...I wasn't that interested in him yet...Juan) find zombie Sha where he'd holed up

Q: ORIGINAL PLANS

BF: (basically one of his teammates locked him in a room when he felt himself starting to turn as a last ditch attempt to protect him. it...failed.)

Q: Game stuff: Dangit the ceremony is starting and Juan is gonna get killed

Q: POOR JUAN

Q: POOR JUAN SERIOUSLY I MISS HIM ALREADY

BF: So TEAM ASSHOLE finds Witch Sha and through sheer luck they manage to capture him alive instead of killing him or being killed

Q: THANKFULLY AFTER THIS IS OVER I CAN HOPEFULLY READ ABOUT AN AU WHERE HE LIVES

THAT ISN'T FULL OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE

RIGHT???

RIGHT????

I think I remember something about that... not sure where I read it but I remember that!

BF: and they decide to put him on a leash and take him with them because Male Witch, that's weird, maybe some medical examiner will be interested in this or something right

BF: I didn't write past them leashing him up and taking him away BUT fast forward and Zarla started the Cured AU

Q: I remember them arguing about it or something... but I remember thinking this:

"Juan meet your new boyfriend"

I don't remember seeing past that in the fan fic. Where the heck did i see it?

BF: And I basically ALREADY had Sha lined up as a witch at that point, so it was easy enough to just jump forward to him being a Cured.

Q: ...I should go to the hotel lobby…

...BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!

interesting!

BF: hahaha.

Q: help me go to the hotel lobby

...BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!

interesting!

BF: hahaha.

Q: help me go to the hotel lobby

BF: DID YOU EXAMINE EVERYTHING IN THE HALLWAY WHILE YOU COULD

Q: i can't press A I feel too bad

BF: YOU HAVE TO PROGRESS

Q: NO I DIDN'T ILL GO DO IT NOW

BF: YOU MUST

Q: NO I MUST EXAMINE EVERYTHING IN THE HALLWAY

BF: Hehehe

all the flowers in front of Juan's door

Q: dangit I already have everything in here

ya... It's like they know his funeral is coming

Q: the Japanese text, going by Google translation of it, suggested that some of the flowers were from SIBLINGS of his

Q: NO

SO MANY PEOPLE LOVE HIM

I CAN'T KILL HIM

D:

BF: the English translation just says Family, but the Japanese suggested he has siblings we never get to meet

I LIKED TO IMAGINE HIM WITH A BUNCH OF SISTERS

Q: I THOUGHT I WANTED TO PLAY THIS BUT I DON'T

I DON'T WANNA KILL JUAN

BF: YOU MUST IF YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT EVERYONE

Q: ...I guess i have too...

Q: but-but I like Juan mroe than everyone else!!!

BF: it's an interesting plot!

Q: alright imma go

im going

Q: dammit

I PRESSED A I AM SCARED

BF: You can do iiiiit

Q: Juan please

please don't make me feel too guilty...

SHIT HE'S ALREADY DEAD???

BF: hahah that said, when you get through, the closest thing we have to happy Juan stuff right now is some stuff I did for Alt 2-4 future settings

and the Frozen AU.

Q: I wanna read those instead :(

BF: Juan is comparatively better off in the Frozen AU.

Q: Juan is dead...

he is dead :(

BF: Now if you want one that will TEAR YOUR HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT, read Somebody That I Used to Know

Q: D:

BF: but only after this case hahah

it's like a perspective change on the events of this case.

Q: Soon i will unlock what I bought this game for

and i don't even know if I want to

oldbag what are you doing here

BF: YOU MUST. YOU HAVE TO

being awesome!

Q: FINE

hahaaha

BF: She's a Juan fan, that'makes her great

Q: oh okay i like her now

hey um what happened to Juan can I like break in and yell at Matt even though im still not 100% sure he did it

I mean he's terrible from what I've seen and heard from both stupid comics and this game so

PLEAD THE FIFTH

OH I FORGOT ABOUT EDGY

DO I GET TO SEE HIM

whatever i wanna punch matt

Q: phoenix you're a lawyer sense when have the questionings ever been useful to you? Fuck the police! Let's go find Matt and punch him!

BF: EDGEWORTH WILL APPEAR

Q: YES

Q: THE NAMETAG SAID BELLBOY AND I THOUGHT THE OTHER ONE RETURNED

but... who would call her?

WHO IS SPEAKING IN CAPS

LOTTA HI

HI GUMMY

BF: hahahaaha yep she's back!

Q: I like these two

BF: and you can't have a case without Gumshoe!

Q: no you can't!!!

He feels distant this second game... THIS WILL CHANGE SOON

WELL YA HE'S MATT

LET'S TALK ABOUT JUAN

what is that picture

what

BF: Fun fact: in the stage play version of this case (which, sadly, did not get an official translation anywhere because it actually gives Juan some lines and it makes him into the MOST ADORABLE DORK YOU HAVE EVER SEEN), and the anime version of this case both give Lotta's role to LARRY

Q: Do you recommend the anime???

MATT SUCKS

THAT PICTURE MAKES HIM LOOK NOT AS EVIL AS HE IS

BF: It has it's good points and it's bad.

Q: alright, I was wondering if at one point I should try watching some of it

BF: the art can be wonky as hell at points, and it feels oddly fast paced because it tries to cram all of the first and second games into one 24 episode season

Q: ??? why would they make it 24 minuets!! That was a bad choice.

BF: 1-5 and 2-1 don't get adapted at ALL (which kind of make sense but)

24 EPISODES

Q: WHAT

this is a weird anime

they should try again but better

BF: HOWEVER they add a whole flashback episode between 1-4 and 2-2 showing Edgey, Pheonix, and Larry as little kids

Q: :O I WANNA WATCH IT

Q: they ramp up the subtext between Phoenix and Edgeworth quite a bit

and they make the silly court dramatics even more over the top

Q: I might enjoy that..

yessss

maybe at one point I'll look at it, it sounds like something I may find funny.

BF: and they did a lot to reduce the parts of 2-3 that people didn't like.  (they cut out nearly all of the stuff with people chasing Regina for instance)

Q: Dangit the episodes should've been longer

BF: and they put more emphasis on how the whole circus gang ultimately comes together in the end in spite of their differences.

Q: dangit. Well hopefully it's nice enough.../

BF: More emphasis on Regina realizing that she'd done something wrong and hurt someone, even if it had been an accident

and it kept the fun parts, like Phoenix having to fight a monkey to get his badge back hahah

Q: Gumshoe we're not rivals we're friends

right?

BF: heheh oh Gumshoe

Q: The anime does sound like something I'd enjoy, I'll check it out at some point

BF: SO ULTIMATELY I LIKED THE ANIME BUT IT HAD IT'S ISSUES AND IT WAS WEIRDLY PACED

Q: ALRIGHT

I should record my live reaction to that too haha

BF: on the other hand, it confirmed, after all of these years, the color of Juan's jacket

Q: It's still probably wishful thinking but I still think that one of them saw maybe a snippet of one of Zarla's comics and maybe even just subconsciously used that to make the decision that it was the exact same shade of blue.

WHATEVER

Q: aww man gumshoe do you need some money to buy some fruit maybe

Q: How do I progress I'm stuck with gumshoe, talked about him with everything, and showed him everything

nowhere else has updated

KIWI

Q: Dangit i wanna progress

Q: oh hey a conversation topic i missed

MATT WAS ARRESTED FOR EXISTING OF COURSE

BF: hahaha of course.

Q:

BF: hahaaahaha

Q: I DON'T WANNA DEFEND MATT

DANGIT HOW TO I PROGRESS

hey the lobby updated!

I'll defend Matt if there is somebody worse like a serial killer around

Q: why is the radio person >:(

who

crap mything is beeping

ya im here... what do you want from me...

WHO KILLED MAYA

Q: OH MY GOD THERE IS A SERIAL KILLER HERE

HAHAHAHA

BF: MAYA ISN'T DEAD hahahah

Q: OH MY GOD

i know but

THERE IS A SERIAL KILLER HAAHAHAHA

BF: also this game seriously misuses the term 'serial killer"

lololol no this guy is an ASSASSIN, there's a difference. XD

Q: OH MY GOD

WHAT THE HECK

Q: I SAID I WOULD ONLY DEFEND MATT IF THERE WAS SOMEBODY LIKE A SERIAL KILLER AROUND

OH MY GOD HAHAHAHA

WELL MATT YOU'RE WITH ME NOW

BF: (I say it misuses the term cause they kept calling Joe Dark in 1-5 a serial killer...but he was more like a spree killer. If you use a really liberal definition of THAT word.)

YOU GOTTA SAVE MAYA

Poor Phoenix

Q: (True, i was misusing it)

NO I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT THE PERSON WOULD APPEAR I JUST SAID IF THERE WAS A MURDERER AROUND THAT WASN'T HIM I WOULD DEFEND HIM AND THERE IS AND IT'S SO FUNNY

but ya... Pheonix is having a bad time...

Q: i think this is just so funny

HOW DID I GUESS

de killer isn't a name it's a title.

Q: PHOENIX I HAD A DEAL THAT IS ANOTHER KILLER WAS AROUND I WOULD PROVE MATT INNOCENT, AND BY SOME UNSPEAKABLE CHANCE THERE WAS SOMEBODY. MATT IS INNOCENT.

hey we're not at the perspective is Phoenix

this is weird

oh so the bulter is the person who did it

BF: hahaha IT'S ALWAYS THE BUTLER ISN'T IT

Well, nothing else for it, you gotta defend Matt!

Q: I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF THAT JOKE

I am still shocked

BF: hahaha isn't this case great already?

Q: IT IS

BF: it gets you from the very start!

Q: Juan is dead :(

it does i love it

BF: POOR JUAN

Q: poor Juan indeed... but ZARLA ADOPTED HIM SO EVERYTHING IS OKAY

Q: SOMETIMES

oh my god

MATT WHAT THE HELL

Well uh hi I'm Phoenix and for some reason you look a bit too innocent.

nope I don't like him

Q: you know what I'll like him

for somebody's sake I'm not sure who's but it isn't Maya's

Q: matt probably can think and if he can he thinks evil thoughts

Q: baby powder that's it

I was trying to figure out what he reminded me of

Q:

Me: :shows picture of Juan: Matt: Man, too bad he's dead TOO BAD GEEZ WELL I GUESS THAT'S TOO BAD THAT HE DIED WELL I GUESS IM FIND NOW HOOPDEEDOO

Q:

Matt: So apparently that warrant does exist after all Phoenix: Ladies and gentlemen I think we may be making some progress here! Phoenix is my favorite character not only because I'm allowed to project myself onto him but because half of the time I don't need to

Q: 

Matt: Don't let some disemboweled voice boss you around Yes tell me more about this because you believe so strongly I shouldn’t

I can't believe this is the same matt

nooo don't gooo

I don't know if I hate the matt I saw from the comics or this matt more eh they'll collide eventually I know it

Q: Mr. Juan

dangit

Q: crap ya you're right you're both 21

Q: :D

YA THE MAGIC ROCK

:O

he is innocent! INTERESTING

BF: THE PLOT THICKENS

Q: BUT

BF: hahaha I love the line about disembodied voices

coming from the guy who's constantly calling someone or another for advice

Q: UH HUH PLEASE TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T LISTEN SENSE YOU THINK SO STRONGLY NOT TO

Q: wait frick I am projecting onto phoenix

oh well :/

oh ya i forgot about save points

Q: FINALLY WE TELL PEARL THAT WE AREN'T DATING

BF: hahaaha

I DO LIKE HOW SARCASTIC NICK CAN BE

Q:

Pearl: nick! stop it! don't hide your feelings from me!

Fine Pearl I’m gay

(sorry crackship I think it's fun)

yaaay that should continue MORE SARCASTIC NICK

too the hotel!! I remember this date it wasn't even that long ago...

SHE IS FAN OF JUAN IM ON HER SIDE NOW

Q: Phoenix Juan is good!!!

Q: It's an hour past when I should sleep but I have no reason to today

but should I stay up

Q: wow 4 locks a new record

Q: Lotta help me!!!

why i thought you liked me lotta

finally a pun with Lotta's name. I was waiting for that.

Q: Oh come on Lotta!!! Everybody please stop lying to me!!! Why is Matt the best one here???

HEY I CAN GO INTO THE HOTEL ROOMS NOW

I need to sleep...

but I wanna snoop though people's stuff...

flipping a coin one moment

BF: hahahaaha

Q: heads is play tails is sleep

where is a coin

BF: THE ROOMS WILL STILL BE THERE IN THE MORNING

Q: BUT- BUT I WANNA PLAY NOW MOOOOM

I hid my wallet somewhere and I can't find it

BF: uh oh

Q: this is bad

BF: where do you remember last having it?

Q: I remember hiding it somewhere in the desk

Q: but this is a big denk

BF: hmmm

but it's got to be in their S

OMEWHERE

Q: Somebody might've stolen it though

they're in this house but dammit

BF: So you can start by checking the most obvious drawers and stuff, like the ones you'd open first without even thinking

Also you can go through and straighten stuff up

Q: cleaning gets you to find stuff

BF: exactly!

Q: I really wanted to find my wallet but I found a penny so I flipped it and it said tails and I am upset.

BF: awwwww

Q: Case is interesting, I'm sad he died, I think Matt is fake and he actually is evil, Maya is fine, Peal needs better parents, Lotta finally gets a name pun, Gumshoe is suspicious and I DON'T WANNA FIGHT EDGY IN COURT BECAUSE IF i WIN THEN HE'LL HATE ME FOREVER BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF HE'LL BE THE PROSECUTION ER BUT HE PROBABLY IS AND I'M SCARED I JUST WANNA BE FRIENDS

Q: I'll drop the game but I'm talking to you till I can get the other stuff I need done done.

Q: The anime sounds like something I'd probably like. Sure flaws and weird poses but I make fun of the poses and all of the other stuff sounds great

My biggest problem sounds like the timing... but I can probably live with that if I find it funny enough

Q: i didnt say much cool now I can sleep. Also hope house is good. This case's summery is "The plot thickens."

BF: haha okay

Q: Yesterday I thought "okay even if Matt didn't kill Juan this guy doesn't feel like the person who would constantly argue with him"

Oh hey I can go to the detention center again

Matt for you I will let just sign and ask what you we

Q: You want. I don't like you but I'm game I don't have a reason to hate you get

YET

Q: Well I don't have anything else to say to him so whatever. More looking.

Q: Oh ya I can look in the rooms!!!

BF: yessss

Go snoop in the roooms do it

Q: Look at all of the bears... His family must be liked him a lot :(

Hi gumshoe. I'm mad at you right now.

BF: Family, fans...

Q: Poor phoenix... Thanks gumshoe for asking

Q: I wanna give him a teddy bear!

Thank you gumshoe!!!!!

Pearl gotta map!

Don't worry pearl I'll read it for you

Dead Juan picture :( I want a picture of alive Juan

Q: I feel really bad for this juan... I hope one of the characters does too

Matt was set up, as much as I hate to admit it

Q: ya well if Franz tried to hurt you gumshoe I will kill her... But sadly I can't

Q:

Gumshoe: listen here pearl. Never pick up a whip, OK? Don't even think about it

Best advice in the game

Q: Awww well what kind of stuffed animal should I given Juan if he doesn't actually like teddy bears?

BF: lol, honestly, given how many he has and how cluttered his room is right then, i'm willing to believe that teddy tumbled into the waste basket by mistake

how many he HAS bleh

Q: I thought that may be the case too

Crap Franz is here

Well gumshoe I think I found all I need to and I really don't want you to be caught by Franz

Q: I still have Matt's room to search but now I am scared Franz is a there

Q: IT'S BLOND ANGIE

BF: Hai Adrian

Q: Well ANGIE is brown haired Adrian because ANGIE came second

"Why do you call Adrian blond angie" because that is what I first thought when I saw a drawing of her

Haha I like Adrian

Q: HEY stop right there Adrian pearl wanted to come!

Phasing for lunch

Q: YES Pearl watch Juan's show instead

Q: aww

Q: 

Phoenix: Yeah, I would love to go back in time and relieve a few of the good things... *chuckle* I'm sorry Phoenix what do you mean by that

hey looks like Will knows Adrian!

Pearl you should help this love story you like those right

Q: Matt can you tell me something about your manager

no? How dare you.

Q: hi gumshoe i haven't talked again with you for a but so

So apparently Adrian is really popular No wonder Zarla decided to make her love interest a woman

Q: Going in Juan's room just makes me sad... look at all of the bears... :(

BF: Oh that’s not the only reason she’s almost exclusively shipped with ladies

By the majority of the fandom haha

Q: Interesting, I hope I'll be able to find it when it appears

Q: yess i found a new conversation topic, and it's on Adrian!

Q: I don't think they're dating because Juan is dead

Hey Adrien so they're saying you were dating Juan but he's dead so

pfft no responce okay

HEY LOTTA

HEY GUMSHOE

I bet Juan named all of the bears tbh

wonder if matt will say anything to it

hey he will!

alright well that was fun time to go and figure out what else to do

Q: don't think i can get any of the locks yet but i could try :/ i'll fail though

Q: wait I think the Adrian gossip could have something to do with it!!!

she did say she wanted to do something with taking photos of celebrities

I broke a lock!!! I wonder if I can get the other!

all I have is a newspaper clipping :/ I don't think i have enough info yet but at least I saved before!

hey I did it!!!

:D

Q: now that I did something a room might've updated

Q: I know matt's hiding something and I'm mad

i know I can't but I wonder if I can break any other locks

Q: nope alright Phoenix let's go

Q: dangit im stuck

Q: might as well mourn for Juan while I am

AH

FRICK I EXAMINED SOMETHING AND FRANZ IS COMING

RUN PEARL RUN

WE'RE LEAVING NOW

CRAP

GUYS NO

YOU SHOULD'VE RAN

NOOOOO

I'LL CALL THE COPS ON YOUR FOR HURTING US WITH THE WHIP

YOU'RE DAD IS SHIT AND YOU'RE LAST NAME SOUNDS DUMB

D:

I will treasure this autograph forever ...but I think I'm supposed to use this to get oldbag to talk... :( I don't wanna give it up though

Oldbag's name is Wendy! Dammit! I have no choice >:(

Q:HAVE YOU'RE DAMN AUTOGRAPH FROM JUAN BACK. BUT ONLY IN EXCHANGE FOR INFO

THEY'RE ALL GONE IN AN INSTANT :D

YESSSS

goodbye atougraph

Q: oh one more

nvm

Q: I knew matt was evil!

BF: hahaha

Q: BUT HE IS

MATT I HOPE I CAN STILL GO VISIT YOU SO I CAN KEEP STARING AT YOU ANGRILY

STOP SMILING IM MAD AT YOU

there isn't anything here anyways may just talk to the more likable characters

Q: well i can visit the police station...

I feel really bad for gumshoe :(

Q: hi gummy im really sorry about Franz do you mind if i go to punch her in the face?

BF: I think Matt is hilarious, personally

and poor Gumshoe!

Q: he's gonna pull a knife on me i know it

Franz you cant win please stop torturing my friend

again Matt was set up

BF: oh definitely

Q: Maybe somebody dressed as him or something I dunno that's happened before

HEY

WAS THAT WOMAN BY ANY CHANCE JUAN'S WIFE

Q: no? WELL IT'S THE BROWN HAIRED GIRL HEY I KNOW HER

WHY DOES SHE ALSO HAVE TO BE DEAD

YA I WANNA LEARN MORE ABOUT HER

oh go away Franz

FRANZ NO

WHO SAID THAT

EDGY

OH MY GOD

EDGY I MISSED YOU SO MUCH

EDGY YOU'RE BACK!!!

:D

Q: HE'S DOWNTALKING FRANZ THIS IS THE BEST

EDGY!!!

:D

AND HE ISN'T MAD AT ME!!!

Q: PHOENIX YOU WERE ANGRY ABOUT HIM BECAUSE YOU WERE SAD ABOUT HIM AND HE SAID THAT YOU'RE HATRED IS ONE SIDED AND HE'S BEING NICE PHOENIX THIS IS THE BEST

:DDDD

PHOENIX STOP BEING MEAN >:(

BF: To be fair, he is under a ton of stress right now haha

Q: ya. Poor Phoenix, angry and try

Q: D: Nooo Adrian tried suicide

BF: yep. and this, by the way, ties directly into why she's pretty much universally viewed as a lesbian

Q: alright so that is why the fandom thinks she is a lesbian and why zarla ships her with that person

ALRIGHT

BF: SHE WAS VERY VERY VERY DEVOTED TO CELESTE

Q: noooo Adrian

BF: Zarla also ships her with Franziska, which is hands down the most popular ship for either of them hahah

but yeah...POOR ADRIAN

Q: what hahahaha alright I can see that as a funny ship

Q: EVERYBODY IS SO DEPRESSED IN THIS GAME

BF: and while it's partially his fault, POOR JUAN. I mean yeah he screwed up, he screwed up BAD.

but he was 19 years old and he was the one to FIND THE BODY

Q: DANGIT WHY IS EVERYBODY SO SAD

BF: IT GETS EVEN MORE MESSED UP. you'll seeeee

Q: "POOR PHOENIX", "POOR GUMSHOE", "POOR ADRIAN", "POOR JUAN", POOR EVERYBODY

yaaay i can't wait this case is very interesting

dang I wonder where to go next

I should probably go to adrian

Q: OH PLEASE DON'T TALK TO FRANZ PLEASE BE ON MY SIDE PLEASE I WANNA GIVE YOU A HUG

so they interacted this gives a little more of a reason to ship it

>:( EVIL DON'T PUT THAT THING IN GUMMY

Q: pffft shipping those two alright

i'll try to talk to her before presenting that I know about her attempted suiside

nvm

wonder if i can unlock the thing

BF: I THINK you should have enough to do it...I think. have you talked to Will?

and Lotta?

I know you've talked to Oldbag

Q: I have talked to will

though not recently i probably should

nah ill try to unlock it

BF: just check to make sure you have everything from him

OKAY

Q: fine

BF: I think you should be good

Q: OKAY

YAY

Q: didn't start it yet I'll go ask will

ya i already have averything from him

WHATEVER HEY ADRIAN

Q: frick im stuck hmm

BF: hahaha One detail I love is that there was a vague implication I picked up from Will that he and Juan were on good terms with each other

Q: huh!

Q: ADRIAN I FEEL BAD FOR YOU I WANNA GIVE YOU A HUG BUT I NEED TO COMPLETE THE LOCK THING FIRST

Q: i wiiiin

I like her though I don't wanna say she is the killer

oh ya pearl was listening to all of that

no wonderPhoenix brings her to fun places all of the time!!!

No Miss I wanna give you a hug I think you are great

Q: and I don't wanna be the reason you die!!!

goodbye adrian...

hey the hallway reset!

Q: HI ASSASSIN WHAT DO YOU WANT

BF: TO SAY SOMETHING OMINOUS.

Q: YES

I'm writing that down

Q: oh so the card is the assassin's card okay

Dammit Adrian!

Q: oh boy I escaped

hahaha oh my god i feel so bad for phoenix already

save point!

Q: Hi matt...

I'm sorry about being mad at you i don't think you did it anymore... well, I didn't really in the first place. I felt like you were resposible though, and even if you weren't, you're terrible anyways If you do anything though I will revert back to my pervious opinion for not have a pat on the head

Phoenix uh the assasin is calling you

Q: pfft hahahaha

I THINK THE ASSASIN IS FRAMING MATT

wait where is the prosicution

WHAT

SOMEBODY SHOT FRANZ

I AM ANGRY AND I AM SHOCKED

WHY AM I ANGRY SOMEBODY SHOT HER

ASSASSIN WHAT THE HELL

hiiii eeedggyyyyyyy before you ask i didn't do it

:D

Q: GUMSHOE YOU'RE FREE NOW

OH MY GOD THERE IS NO WHIP WE'RE FREE FREEEEE

:D

edgy is great'

hey the guitar case had something to do with it

I don't know what yet but it has

With Franz gone i feel like a weight i had no idea was there has been lifted Assassin, you get a pass at the moment.

Q: ya no if anybody in this entire game is gay with the game full on actually agreeing and making a few jokes out of it it's Adrian

Q: i think that something is wrong and that it's the assassin's fault

why does matt have hair over half of his face anyways he looks suspicious

Q: IM FINDING EVERY REASON TO HATE HIM BUT FOR NOW HE IS FINE I GUESS

Q: Still bothered that the matt im talking too doesn't seem like somebody who would fight with everyone

Q: Ya Phoenix that's what matt told you, that he didn't see Juan as a rival

like i beleive him

Q: oh ya i forgot to say what i was doing

Q: "Alright so I've learnt this a few times"

"When you don't know something about the evidence ask that peice of evidence" it works very well for some reason

Q: dang then I better save before the evidence tab pops up!

Q: Wait Juan was killed by... wait gumshoe said something about the scarf on his neck. It has to do with that.. was there blood on the scarf? Was there any blood on it? Why was another knife stuck in his chest later? Was that knife this knife?

what the hell is up with the wineglass of tomato juice?

Q: Why would Adrian drink tomato juice out of a wineglass if Juan is the one who loves the color red

Q: >:( Then why didn't you wonder if Adrian was the killer!

Q: dangit why oldbag

oh my god she kept the nickname edgey-boy

EDGY REALLY DOESN'T LIKE HER IT SEEMS HAHA

I am reminded of that picture I drew

Q: all you two have in common is the appearance for the most part and the same first name (well ladyverse Juan is Rivera which is Ace Attorney Juan's last name in a different translation I'm pretty sure so also kinda last name but it's not like they'd know that) as well as a red guitar and an interest in music... and a friend that looks like Angie/Adrian and like 6 other things but it's a coincidence

DOODLES

BF: hhahahahaah JUST LET IT GO MR. JUAN

Q: I feel smart

Probably just me being scared for life by Franz "I'm suspicious about Matt's face" "BUT THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTS ME TO THINK IT MUST BE HIS CLOTHES"

Q: oldbag stay behind the thing what happened

Q: ya but didn't Matt not know about that show afterwards

Q: wait but he didn't stab juan

what

ASK THE KNIFE

HEY IT WORKED

Q: ya but it doesn't make sense

why would he bring the knife if he didn't wanna kill him???

Q: To frame Matt!!!

Matt the rope is getting thicker but don't get your hopes up

Q: the autograph? Juan? Adrian???

Adrian!

Q: Ya but it'd seem reasonable is Adrian started talking with Juan after the brown haired girl (I forgot her name I'll call her R for now) died because he knew her. Then gossip spread.

This case is probably darker than that

...but i can't talk about her attempted suicide... Adrian :<

Q: ...Lotta knows!

I could probably do something with that... I really wanna help Adrian

Q: I knew oldbag stole the camera >:(

Q: um

sorry oldbag but i really wanna find Lotta's camera. Lotta visits me more and... she's just been the better friend. I hope you understand, right?

I knew it >:D

Q: ...who's room is the guy dressed at nickle samurai coming out of?

When did Matt say that???

Q: ...hmmm...

wait there is something wrong with it how dare the text block it

Q: And sadly, Adrian is small

why are we calling her the killer!!! D:

Q: 

Mia: He's just letting the trial run itself -- as if he's only along for the ride that's because he is

Phoenix he wants to see you succeed and to prove a point! Phoenix needs a hug

it's adrian... :(

Q: ...She did though...

...I'm sorry Adrian...

Don't worry Maya escaped Phoenix dangit

I wanna say wait im sorry Phoenix...

...dangit...

you know nobodyw ould care anyways if he did raise an objection

Edgy objected for me?? But you know nothing about her kidnapping!

Q: Phoenix is having a tough time I'm happy that Edgy is being nice to him

save point!

Q: Adrian I am sorry

Q: It won't be alright phoenix Adrian...

What if she dies??? D:

Q: how did the judge get his job

Q: but i don't wanna attack herrrr

"What if you think Angie is two people how come you never considered Adrian" They don't have the same glasses

Q: Adrian what about the guitar

did you think anything of that

Adrian im talking to talk to you in code

but what about the guitar

Q: i wanna know what happened to it

Q: ya but if you didn't wanna drink it then why did you get it in the first place

If you were shocked then how did you set it down before it existed

Q: Adrian please don't be upset

hey something about the guitar! What the heck happened to it!

hey I can talk about the guitar case!

Q: i wanna know what happened to the guitar!

ya but WHY was it empty?

why did you open it though? I know you don't know but why

Q: ...wait didn't somebody say earlier only Juan's figerprints were on it?

Dammit I really don't wanna keep saying you're lying Adrian

then if you were wearing gloves

then it'd prove you were the person in the picture!

Q: wait you weren't wearing gloves

SO EITHER you were the person in the picture, or you didn't have gloves and that wineglass was yours and you did tip over the vase!

Q: what else could be in the guitar?

case

Q: what if Juan opened it

probably not but somebody did stab him "after he was dead"

BF: hahah what could have been inside the guitar case? Well, we know it wasn't the GUITAR

Q: ahhh i don't knooowwwww and I can't save either

i pressed the wrong thing!

wait what

it's working???

Q: what is it a photo of???

what???

HUH WHAT OKAY

Q: what is it a photo of?

Q: It's of the pic off steel samurai show and Phoenix is saying the costume is in there and I am very shocked because I don't know what happened

ya but if she was wearing it while leaving then why was her in the costume shown going there

BF: hahaha well...okay I'm going to assume you have the photo of SOMEONE leaving Juan's room wearing Matt's costume Q: ya and i don;t like the idea of it being my frien BF: and that I'm not sure of. there's more than one problem with this case's timeline that I've seen because I've overanalyzed it to death BF: But right now you are going with the logic that it is HER in the costume leaving the room Q: huh! So there is a continuity error??? it being a spare would make sense... BF: mostly in the thing you just said...how did someone not notice her going into his room without the costume and leave wearing it Q: ah. Dangit i trusted this case BF: but that doesn't matter for the sake of your argument...the thing you need to prove is that it was HER in that cotume, and not Matt. Q: dangit but I like her more than matt! BF: Do it for Maya!

Q: but she's already escaped!

BF: she's not as free as you seem to think she is

Q: ya i know but

That looked like a basement so she must be in the same house i bet

BF: she's still locked in, that's all

Q: ah.

BF: OKAY but Adrian...and yes, the game is very much playing with your feelings...the key thing you need to keep in mind is that Adrian is TINY

Q: ALRIGHT

BF: she's like...5 foot four inches to Matt's almost 6 feet

Q: Wonder if there are canon heights posed for everybody somewhere

BF: if you keep THAT in mind...her HEIGHT...you should be able to spot the thing in the photo that proves it can't possibly be Matt in the costume

BF: and you can check it against the Nickle Samurai poster to see the contradiction

Q: Well I said earlier that the pants seemed much too long so it must be somebody small (Adrian)

BF: ding ding ding! you got it!

Q: yaaaay

Q: D: I feel bad for Juan

BF: and yeah, there actually are official heights for nearly everyone.  The Fan wiki for the game has everyone's heights (everyone who was given one) on their respective character pages

and I know right? :<

So that's how we know for sure that Matt was two inches taller than Juan. XD

Q: he should've won dammit then none of this would've happened

hey is that what happens in one of the AUs where he lives? that'd probably be a spoiler to the case.

pfft that's why Juan's hair is more poofy

BF: hee hee

Ummm...actually, no, I haven't done an AU where Juan wins the Grand Prix, and neither has anyone else, as far as I'm aware.

Q: oh well

BF: But weirdly enough, if Juan has won, that MIGHT have spared him. But I can't say why

Q: alright!

BF: In any case, I'm convinced the whole contest was rigged in Matt's favor, but that's just speculation.

Q: WELL YA

I hope soon i'll understand why Matt is evil

Q: yes but you see JUAN WAS KILLED BY THE SCARF not the knife!!! Why does everybody forget this!!!

BF: hahha poor Adrian just floundering at that point and going but...but the evidence that it was Matt...

Q: but... but Adrian the evidence that it WASN'T matt

BF: (I know you're having to be awful to Adrian, but keep playing...things are FAR from over.)

Q: (alright! I hope that she doesn't die!)

Q: To frame Matt@

M@ is apparently a thing now

BF: HAH

WHY NOT IT'S FUNNY

Q: it's not Adrian though!!!

I HAVE NO CHOICE AT THIS POINT

dangit

Q:

Phoenix: MISS ADRIAN ANDREWS, I CHOOSE YOU

haha

quonit

I AM SORRY ADRIAN

SHE'S GONNA START CRYING STOP IT

Q: Dammit Franz you're still hurting me

Edgy I know she didn't do it right now i just wanna prove Matt didn't do it

Q: I always felt like pleading the fifth was like admitting to something. Good job Adrian for making it ambiguous.

but mayaaaa

Edgy you DON'T UNDERSTAND

thank you edgyyyy

Q: Mia he's a good objection buddy that is what he is

Q: just let matt be not guilty but also let me defend her later

Q: that's because she didn't the killer!

Q: also does the lock thing not work in court

Q: alright i can see why Zarla and other people ship it

Mastermind is the person who kidnapped Maya god dammit

BF: You are FAR from done with this trial. >:3

Q: yaaaay

i need to sleep soon though

BF: hahah okaaaay

I am up too late myself hahah

:Next day:

Q: back to this question WELL requesting not guilty would make Adrian wanna testify so that she isn't founded of murder, but if i just made her testify she would give me one anyways.

Q: i flipped a coin and it chose to do the not guilty one so

IM SORRY ADRIAN BUT

EDGY NO SHE TOLD ME NOT TO TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS I SHOULD GO BACK AND CHOSE THE OTHER OPTION I FEEL TO GUILTY

i actually stopped the game i was too upset oh my god

now for the other option

this is so much better already

the coin hates me

nvm it's going the same

Q: I WILL HELP YOU ADRIAN I AM SORRY EDGY IS BEING LIKE THIS BUT YOU KNOW I KINDA HAVE TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW I'LL GET YOU A BOX OF COOKIES LATER

Q: alright thank you adrian

Q: but why were there no fingerprints on the case still???

Q: ugh whatever

Q: i wanna know Matt's weaknesses pleaaaseee

Q: well it's good Franz was shot

oh well too bad phoenix

EMPTY SEAT WHAT

poor phoenix D:

Q: Juan what did you do why do you have the assassin's card

WAIT EDGY DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS IT

save point!

Pearl with all of the talk of suicide and things like that please don't say stuff like that it’s really unsettling

HI GUMSHOE!!! Franz is gone :D You can be happy again!!!

ya work for me! Why not :D

Q:

Pearl: Even that woman prosecutor was better than that!

Pearl, let me introduce you to a man named Manfred Von Karma, also knows an Vampire the first.

Q:

Gumshoe: She almost looked like she was being tortured to death not being able to go to that trial today!

GOOD.

WHY THAT HOTTI CLINIC IT IT BECAUSE THEY ALREADY HAD DRAWINGS FOR IT

Q: I am a lot more upset than I thought I would be when I learnt she was shot so I guess i have a heart and should go visit her. Also i think she wouldn't be allowed to bring a whip to a hospital so

hey edgeworth are you here to say hi too

ha i still don't like this guy

Q: heeeey fraaanzzz imma make fun of you for being shot by my assassin friend

Q:

Franz: :whipps ''hottie'': HE DESERVED THAT THOUGH I AM WITH FRANZ ON THIS ONE

Q: What do you mean that kinda thing happens all of the time??? Do you regularly get shot???

I just realized she was shot in the right shoulder just like her dad haha

YES FRANZ WE KNOW YOU TOLD ADRIAN TO PLEAD THE FIFTH

Q: Franz thinks she has to one up me all of the time but really she can stop

Q: SHE'S SUICIDAL DAMMIT FRANZ YOU'RE TERRIBLE

I'm sorry i was mean to your honorary sister but she really is terrible

Q: Hey edgy do you think maybe shelly kidnapped Maya because uh

Q: SO THAT MEANS THE ASSASSIN KILLED JUAN I knew it but I still hate Matt

yaaay we can talk about maya to him

Phoenix: Stop trying to console me Edgeworth! I don't need your pity!

I feel really bad for Phoenix.. so much stress…

I KNEW IT

Q: MATT IS EVIL

WE CAN ASK HIM IF HE HIRED THE ASSASSIN

MATT HIRED THE ASSASSIN TO KILL JUAN BECAUSE JUAN WAS GOING TO REVEAL SOMETHING AND THEN ADRIAN MADE IT LOOK LIKE MATT DID IT AND NOW PEOPLE CAN FIGURE OUT THAT SHELLY DID IT

MATT YOU SUCK

Q: I really, really feel bad for Phoenix... all of this stress and then shock of edgeworth and then just being like "No i need to do my job" and he's mad at edgeworth because he needs to be mad at somebody because of the stress and

Q: hey! What does the assassin have to do with the brown haired girl!

most inaccurate thing in the game: A VSR. What even is that thing? Must be ancient.

hey Maya Matt's show sucks

it's a love Y story that is a blatant rip off of steel samurai that doesn't even include Will Powers in it. Also matt is evil.

dangit assassin go away

Q: To the detention center. Also i hate you Matt.

D: not a message!

he wants me to feed his cat ...the cat's probably innocent…

how do i get to his house though

ah down from the hotel, guess i have to go there

are you saying that i stole Edgy's heart and now you can't take it hahahahaha

i have a damn note let me look

Q: "Would you let this unsophisticated young person collect information?" HAHAHAHA

Q: hmmm i should go feed matt's cat but i wanna look around first

hiiii lottaaaa

Q: the game said that neither of them were there the whole time to maybe it isn't a continuity error?

Q: red-coat's my friend but phoenix is stressed out at the moment so not now

Q: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE OLDBAG

Q: WAIT A SECOND did i just notice a RING on oldbag's finger???

WHAT

Q: Phoenix rivals can be friends but actually one of my firsts ships are rivals who became love interests so you can shut up

Q: well I guess it's time to feed Matt's cat

WHAt IS THIS HOUSE

After we will Matt can I adopt Shoe?

IT'S THE ASSASSIN

Q: HAHAHA SO MATT DIDN'T EVEN ORDER THE ASSASSIN THE ASSASSIN WAS ALREADY HIS BUTLER MAYBE THIS IS THE WEAKNESS JUAN I MISS YOU

Q: wait if Matt has a butler why would he want us to feel him ...to have his assassin butler kill us...

Q:

Phoenix: What is it with me feeling inferior today

It's okay phoenix :( have a cookie

HEY

MAYA IS AROUND HERE

D:<

im saving dammit

Q: AH

IT DIDN'T EVEN SHOW THE DARE BUT THE BEAR IS TELLING AT ME

HI ASSASIN WHAT DO YOU WANT

Q: the transceiver isn't broken i bet i just know that the assassin did this on purpose

Q: YOU CAN DO IT GUMSHOE

Q: this is fun i wonder what else is setting it off

THE EARTH IS ROUND BECAUSE OF GRAVITY DAMMIT PHOENIX YOU'RE A MORON

Q: I found it in the bears head!

Q: you can do it gumshoe!

HI EDGEWORTH WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE I'm going to start calling him Miles

Q: The buyer is Matt/assasin because he's evil and so is Shelly

imma go a bit ill be back

Q: back and dangit i can't find the charger

Q: yaaay my bro found it

Q: savepoint!

Q: I was talking with my brother and we decided the anime probably would've worked a lot better if the episodes weren't one entire case but savepoint to savepoint base

...9 isn't that late...

Q: HEY WENDY (sense you don't like being called oldbag) I WANNA CHAT

Q: Pffft fine Miles, next time i bump into wendy i'll tell her your exact location so that she can bother you instead

Q: I KNEW THAT CEL AND JUAN WERE A THING DANGIT BARDIC FELINE GOOD JOB NOT CONFIRMING DETAILS

Q: oh ya the butler does have stitches on his face...

Q: yesssss thanks Miles now i get to go YELL AT MATT FOR BEING TERRIBLE

Matt: I thought you said I was okay for now! MPW: NOT ANYMORE

Q: oh dang... Adrian is here... I wanna talk to her a lot more than matt

the real matt? YOU MEAN THE EVIL ONE???

Q: wooo only one lock

Q: talked with her on everything... I feel sad BUT ALSO I STILL HATE MATT

Q: I decided to save and just listen to the song a while

Q: Thank you Pearl for making a salad for gumshoe he's having a hard time as well, getting fired and all that

WELL PHOENIX GO BUY SOME LETTUCE

Q: but i don't wanan talk to matt unless I can stab him! Hey look i found powers let's talk to him instead

Q: BUT JUAN IS GOOD PHOENIX DAMMIT

...guess... I'm going to talk to matt now... *sigh*

Q: don't look at me like that Matt i hate you

die matt

5 locks! New record :D

Q: I'm done talking to this moron let's go

gumshoe! What is it?!?!

AND EDGEWORTH SAID IT WAS A DEAD END, HAH

PEARLS SHHHH HE FIGURED IT OUT ON HIS OWN WITH NOTHING ELSE TO GO OFF OF THIS IS IMPRESSIVE

YA WELL I ALREADY KNEW MATT BOUGHT IT ANYWAYS

Phoenix....

Q:

Phoenix having a really tough time. Edgy’s “suicide” being cause by him but he has to not acknowledge it and get to his job, raising Pearl, getting Maya KIDNAPPED, worrying about Matt, Edgy coming back and Phoenix is under enough stress and has to be angry at something (I MADE A NOTE ABOUT HOW IT SEEMS LIKE EDGY KNOWS PHOENIX IS UNDER A LOT OF STRESS AND HE’S BEING NICER TO HIM BECAUSE OF THAT) and Von Karma (just her whip tho), and the assassin and… I really wanted to give him some cookies to make him feel better.

Me going through Zarla’s very old 2-4 doodles: It seems we have very different opinions on Edgeworth in this case

cookies

Q: Matt I know there are 5 locks but I hate you and want to find your secret and then tell the newspapers

Q: OF COURSE YOU WERE WATCHING THEM THERE IS A STUFFED BEAR TRANSMITTER AND CAMERA >:(

Q: YOU BOUGHT THE DAMN BEAR

I'm sorry matt hey why do i feel pity for him

BECAUSE HE'S YOUR BUTLER

Q: FUCK IM SCARED I REGRET THIS

OH FUCK YOU I KNEW THAT YOU'RE HAIR WAS SUSPITION

I HATE YOU

Q: I miss the old Matt

I MISS OLD MATT

I don't wanna get back to the game anymroe i just wanan doodle my regrets away

BF: Hahahaha awww

Just had to scroll back a bit to see your reactions to other stuff

BF: I think I went straight up to the reveal wanting to believe that Matt was somehow innocent, and I’d been spoilered for his evil face.

IIIMMMMMM SOOOOORRRRYYYYYYY

BF: And I coulda sworn I...or the game...told you about Juan and Celeste earlier

Q: dangit

BF: Heee

Q: not earlier i suspected earlier and only recently did it tell me

BF: I have an elaborate theory that Celeste was murdered and it was made to look like a suicide but

Q: I opened the game again. I feel like crying. I'd like to hear more about this

I want to have Pearl punch him but she'll get hurt :(

BF: Admittedly, it’s partly cause I’m so biased in Juan’s favor (and I still acknowledge he messed BADLY) but what we know about the timeline that lead up To Celeste’s death is WEIRD

if only

Q: I wanna hear more but i think i will get spoiled

BF: Aaah okay. I’ll tell you the logic later hah

Q: REALLY PHOENIX IS SCOUNDREL THE STRONGEST SWEAR WORD YOU CAN THINK OF

REALLY

I'D GIVE YOU A LONG LIST OF WORDS I'D CALL HIM BUT IM AFRAID THAT AT THE MOMENT I WON'T PRIVATE MESSAGE THEM

BF: Heee...you can have some of the best doofy conversations with Matt right before god reveal

Before THE reveal, even

Q: >:( I MISS OLD MATT

BF: And I love some of the penalty messages for presenting the wrong stuff during his psyche lock section

There’s this bit where if you ask him that one question again before dealing with the locks, and he goes hold on dude, I gotta call my lawyer

Q: ya well too bad I was too mad to think "hey maybe i should get this wrong"

BF: Hahaha fair enough

Q: Well the game is called Justice for All so that means I may just have to prove my defendant guilty because he sucks

HAHAHAHA

BF: I didn’t doof around as much on my first playthrough cause I spent the whole thing worrying about Maya

But yeah...he pulls his phone out

And the next thing you know, Phoenix’s phone ACTUALLY RINGS

And Matt tells you, over the phone, that he knows nothing so stop asking

HE CALLS YOU WHILE SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU

AND NICK IS DOOFY ENOUGH TO ANSWER

And that mental image will never not be hilarious to me

Q: HAHAHA I REALLY WISH I DIDN'T MISS OUT ON THAT

BF: IT’S REALLY EASY TO MISS

BF: There’s a lot of optional dialogue in the bug sweeping part, too, which is easy to miss if you aren’t really thorough about scanning the room

Like one random thing I found in Juan’s room is a BREAD MAKER

Q: HAHAHA THE CAT PFFT WWELL TIME GO GO BACK TO THE HOUSE MILES COME WITH ME

Dangit one day i will replay this and I will find that dialogue

BF: Which had fresh bread still inside if it!

Lol Shoe gave them awaaaaay

Q: TO THE HOUSE

I remember finding that! Pearl was very excited 

I remember somebody who named their cat concrete

BF: So yeah...things that are canon about Juan that make me love him: the entire premise of his show (I would so watch a show about a singing fail ninja, I mean)

Q: SO DO I DAMMIT

MUCH MROE THAN SOME LOVE Y STEEL SAMURAI RIP OFF

BF: He apparently claimed in his OFFICIAL BIOGRAPHY that he fought a bear. And won. And made friends with it.

BF: His whole weird thing with tomato juice and the fact that, if Adrian’s account is anything to go by, the fact that he sleeps SO HEAVILY that he can be taken for dead

Q: MILES HELP ME BREAK DOWN THE DOOR

I remember that!!! it was cute!!!

EDGY THE DOOR OPENED LET'S FIND THIS GUY

I wanna implement that into the ladyverse Juan haha

BF: His stupid mouth reed haha

Lol Zarla and I had a FIELD DAY with Juan and his heavy sleeping in the Frozen AU

BF: I love how weird and intense his rivalry apparently was with Matt, and I think it’s morbidly funny just how badly planned and half assed his actual revenge plot against Matt was when you know exactly what he was trying to do (it’s also pretty sad, but)

Like seriously nothing he tried to do holds up as a good plan if you think about the logistics of it like...at ALL

Q: dangit Maya don't die!

I feel bad for Juan...

BF: I DO TOO He was so young :<

Q: ADRIAN IM ON YOUR SIDE PLEASE TELL ME --- HE JUST WANTED TO GET REVENGE ON MATT!!! so young he died just because he was so desperate to get Matt back and didn't think him plan through...

BF: THAT’S THE WAY I SEE IT

BF: Even the most morally questionable thing he did (you’ll see) I see as being the act of someone who didn’t think his own words would be taken seriously

BF: Because who would believe anything bad said about a beloved actor when it comes from his bitter and angry rival

I think Juan got desperate:<

Q: that thing makes sense now... dangit I thought that picture was funny... --- :(

Q: ...time to save....

Q: Juan didn't deserve to die!

hey this is the the same dream from the begining of the game did i accidently reset i am scared

oh good i didn't accidently reset

phoenix do what Edgy has done before: Fail for justice.

Matt I hate you

go away im sad

Mia is Maya already dead

GUMSHOE HE'S UNDER A LOT OF STRESS RIGHT NOW NOT JUST WHAT HE HAD BEFORE BUT NOW BECAUSE OF MATT PLEASE FORGIVE HIM

Q: How much what this tip

Q: the face had a scar on it. Alright, but how much did Matt 'tip'?

Q :A BIG FAT ROLL. Hopefully the judge can understand this

Q: what the heck does "try to pull a fast one" mean

Q :...this statement still feels wrong..

Q:

Phoenix: ARE YOU SAYING THAT BASEBALLS ARE SUSPICIOUS BECAUSE THEY HAVE STITCHES??? 

How will I ever be able to trust a baseball ever again

Q: I apparently can't trust any sorts of sports balls now because of Phoenix huh

Q: fine. Did the hand on the end of that arm have brown figerless gloves?

find then. Whatever. what was the something?

Q: wooden statue... hm...

the bear.

BF: hahaha so much of Phoenix's arguments here are him pretty transparently stalling for time

Q: IT'S SAD but he needs to learn how to do what edgy does How could anybody hate edgy

dangit uhhh what now well i can save at this point

Well I'm kinda curious about the bear so

Q: uh how about the guy to got the bear? That could be helpful

Please tell me who took the bear!

nice he must've not wanted to get caught

Q: please hand down the verdict 

...Phoenix needs to know where Maya is first...

Mia we need to hear it i'm sorry

Mia don't worry maya is fiiiiINNNNNNEEEE haha

Q: ugh i bet phoenix is thinking of Adrian

Q: dammit we've already hurt her enough!

Q: Edgeworth's opinion is "Phoenix really i thought you grew" and my opinion is "PHOENIX IM SORRY ABOUT MAYA BUT IM WITH MILES ON THIS ONE"

Mia you told me to do this don't look at me like that

Q: oh fuck off matt

Q:

Gumshoe: Have you been hangin' in there pal?? 

me: NO HE CERTAINLY HASN'T

Q: ??: a tent! 

that is the most random thing wtf

MIA how is maya

BF: hahaah SUDDENLY A CALLBACK TO THE PREVIOUS CASE

Q: ALRIGHT SO MAYA'S BEING STARVED WONDERFUL PHOENIX LET'S MAKE MATT FUCKING PAY FOR BEING A *****

Q: LET'S GET A SLEDGEHAMMER AND BREAK THE BEAR OPEN DAMMIT

Q: Judge is doing the puzzle!

Q: Ya well WHAT IS INSIDE OF THE BEAR

Q: THE SUICIDE NOTE

WHAT THE FUCK ADRIAN

Q: frick i hope they find maya soon

BF: the were you responding to the fact that Adrian was planning on burning the note, cause if you are, I always found that to be really messed up

BF: like wtf yes I know you didn't want Juan to use Celeste as a way of getting back at Matt cause you didn't want either of them using her anymore but BURNING YOUR BELOVED MENTOR'S FINAL WORDS

Q: Well I already knew that I was also confused that IT EXISTED AND SHE KNEW WHERE IT WAS and it was brought to my attention yet again she wanted to burn it... AND AS YOU SAID, THAT IS REALLY MESSED UP

BF: Also, Adrian, you tried to use Juan's death as a way to try and get back at MATT.

Q: EXACTLY

BF: WHAT JUAN DID WAS BAD, BUT ALMOST NO ONE SEEMS TO DRAW THE COMPARISON BETWEEN THAT AND ADRIAN STABBING JUAN'S CORPSE

I mean christ if Adrian can be forgiven for that

Q: I AM STILL MAD AT HER FOR THAT!!!

BF: (I like to think that Adrian and Juan were way the heck more alike than she wanted to admit. and I say that while also totally understanding why she feels the way she does.)

Q: waaaaaaaa this case makes me feel sad

Q: ...BUT ON THE BACK OF THE PICTURE FRAME CEL WROTE SOMETHING RIGHT???

Q: "With love, Celeste" is all Celeste wrote on the picture hahah

Q: YA AND IT'S HANDWRITING

YESSSSSSSS A PHONECALL!!!!

BF: (I still have no clue why she dated Matt. like, Lady, why did you date your client? WHY DID YOU DO IT AGAIN WITH JUAN.)

Q: (AND NEVER ONCE DID SHE SEE THE BIG FUCKIN ASS SCAR I MEAN HAIR MOVES IN WIND RIGHT WHAT THE HELL)

HAHAHA I LOVE HOW THEY'RE PLAYING CATCH WITH THE PHONE

BF: hahahahaa HOW DID MATT HIDE THOSE

Q: SERIOUSLY I WAS VERY ANGRY ABOUT THAT EVEN BEFORE I KNEW HIS SCAR WAS THERE

BF: lolol Zar did a comic about that where Phoenix throws the phone and beans Edgeworth in the head with it.

Q: SEND IT NOW

EDGY THANK YOU

Q: hahha I'm used to that kind of silly anime flop bang, I didn't think about it.

Q: dangit was it colored???

BF: it softens his face, so it makes sense from a design standpoint.

Q: I THOUGHT ABOUT IT BECAUSE I DON'T WATCH TOO MUCH ANIME

Q: SEND THEM NOW GUMSHOE

FUCK HE GOT IN A CARCRASH SHIT

NOT GUMSHOE!!!

BF: GUMSHOE WILL LIVE

https://zarla.deviantart.com/art/Bad-reception-PW2Spoilers-59768674 and here

Q: MATT IS NOT INNOCENT AND NEVER WILL BE

Q: SAVE ADRIAN

I feel so happy thank you mia

Q: EXACTLY PHOENIX DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW

Edgy is a friend!!!

BF: hahah

Q: I am still upset how the heck could anybody dislike him

(Edit: I felt guilty for liking him because of hearing Zalra’s not a big fan. I kinda felt guity over liking him because i thought in doing so i was being annoying or something??? it’s dumb but sadly enough i still have problems with it.)

I apparently just really like this character!

BF: hahahaha Edgeworth?

Q: YA!

BF: HE HAS NO SHORTAGE OF FANS IN THIS FANDOM

Q: true

BF: it's the people who DON'T care for him so much who are in the minority

https://zarla.deviantart.com/art/Bad-reception-PW2Spoilers-59768674 and here

Q: WAIT WE DO HAVE A WAY

DOES FRANZ STILL HAVE THE TRACKING DEVICE???

Q: I KNEW THE NOTE WAS FAKE

DANGIT BUT STILL MATT IS TERRIBLE AND SO IS ADRIAN FOR WANTING TO BURN IT

Q: HEY ASSASIN COME TO COURT WITH US

after this is over im going through Zarla's Ace Attorney folder

BF: haha yeah the old forged note thing. that's actually one of my reasons for arguing murder not suicide...cause i took that as 'he couldn't find a note at ALL"

Q: ah alright!

BF: (Also, I love the implication that he's got good handwriting...don't know why i zero in on THAT detail.)

but yeah...the forged note is the REAL thing I parallel to Adrian stabbing Juan's corpse.

cause it feels like the same basic intent

Q: (I took note of that too haha) UGH HOW DARE SHE

BF: (also I'm convinced, again, that Juan didn't think anyone would take anything he had to say about Matt seriously...but they'd listen to CELESTE.)

I STILL FEEL AWFUL FOR ADRIAN AND DON'T BLAME HER FOR PULLING A DESPERATION MOVE even though it made everyone's lives harder and just got her implicated for a crime she didn't commit

Q: ...I still like Juan from this case... he made mistakes and he didn't think about it all of the way through but I really think what he was doing what something that needed to be done considering...

Q: ADRIAN

I DON'T THINK IT'S HER STILL

DAMMIT WHAT THE LIVING HELL ASSASSIN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PROVE MATT GUILTY NOW

Q: MILES IM SORRY WHAT IS WITH ADRIAN

OH YA I KNOW YOU STILL WANT MATT FOUND INNOCENT

SO DAMN YOU IT'S NOT ADRIAN

Q: but i don't wanna go to the fandoooommmmm (eh)

IF SHE KNEW HE WAS DEAD THEN WHY DID SHE GET THE WINGLASS SCREW YOU SHELLY

Q: 

Judge: That was an awfully weak objection for the two of you ah so you know us by now I should've expected this

BF: hahaha the Judge even more used to Phoenix's shenanigans by game 5

Q: assassin your lies are easily seen through hahaha well considering how long of a time that is of course he is

Q: YOU SAID HIM WHAT THE HECK

HAHAHA

ASSASSIN YOU ARE SOMEHOW REALLY BAD AT LYING

BF: hee hee

Q :more obvious lies are coming

BF: WELL SHE DOES HAVE THE MASCULINE VERSION OF HER NAME FOR SOME REASON (the feminine version is spelled Adrienne)

Q: I don't think he saw it spelled to be honest, so either way even if it was spelled the feminine way then he wouldn't have known

BF: hahah TRUE

either way PROOF HE NEVER SAW HER

Q: ALRIGHT THEN WELL THE FIGURINE WAS INSIDE OF MATT'S HOUSE SO

AND IF HE GAVE HER THE FIGURINE SHE WOULD'VE BURNT THE NOTE

BUT GUESS WHAT

IT ISN'T BURNT

BF: (that probably works a bit better in the original Japanese. She has a kind of masculine sounding name there, and it's way way more likely to talk about someone without using pronouns at ALL in Japanese, so more likely he never heard her called a her.)

hahh YEP YOU GOT IT

Q: FUCK. OFF. MATT. NOW.

SO YOU KNOW I HATE YOU AND IF YOU PROVE YOUSELF GUILTY MAYA WILL DIE AND YOU WILL GET YOUR REVENGE ON ME FUCK OFF

I CHOSE TO MAKE MATT FUCK OFF THAT'S WHAT

BF: hahahahahaha

Q: FRANZ WHAT ARE YOU DOING HE'S GUILTY WHAT IS GOING ON

FRANZ DID YOU BRING GUMSHOE

OH MY GOD THANK YOU

YOU ARE HELPFUL

EVEN IF HE'S NTO HERE

YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE YOUR DAD FRANZ!!! :D

BF: Franzy is so much better hahah

Q: :DDD

BF: Though she never does get any good at admitting when she's wrong

Q: ya well at least she doesn't try to kill people over it

i really should sleep but this case is almost over!!

BF: YOU ARE VERY CLOSE TO THE END, IT'S TRUE

Q: BUT I'VE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR 3 HOURS

MATT WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL HERE I TOLD YOU TO FUCK OFF RIGHT

BF: now whether or not you want to intentionally get the bad end or not just to see it is up to you...though I can't remember if the preserved the infamous typo that makes the bad end so memorable for the HD version

if THEY preserved, even

BF: (basically the bad end is super sad and dramatic...but they have a VERY noticeable typo on the dramatic final line that makes it unintentionally funny.)

Q: (pffft)

(I DON'T WANT A BAD END)

Q: I WANNA SHOW THE DAMN VIDEO TAPE TO MR KILLER DAMMIT "why" ILL EXPLAIN WHEN I DON'T FEEL SO RUSHED

BF: (hahah I MEAN FAIR ENOUGH. it's shorter than the good end. BUT THE GOOD END IS SO VERY SATISFYING.

heee jee

Q: (I WANNA SEE THE GOOD END DAMMIT)

BF: yesss SHOW DE KILLER THE PROOF OF MATT'S BACKSTABBING

Q: BACKSTAB BACKSTAB BACKSTAB MATT YOU SUCK FUCK OFF AND DIE

BLACKMAIL OF COURSE DAMMIT

Q: YEESSSSS

KILL MATT KILL MATT KILL MATT

MAYA IS SAFE!!!

Q: FUCK YOU MATT YOU BLACKMAILED THE ASSASIN AND YOU MADE TWO PEOPLE COMMIT SCIDIDE AND KILLED JUAN AND FRAMED ADRIEN AND MADE PHOENIX' LIKE TERRIBLE AND MADE ME GIVE YOU A ROPE FOR A LITTLE BIT (THAT SHIT IS EXPENSIVE) AND

NO I WILL NOT HELP YOU

YOU DUG YOUSELF INTO THIS HOLE AND YOU WILL NEVER GET OUT

YOU WILL BE BURRIED

ALIVE

AND WE WILL ALL CHEER

BF: and now you are about to see that Matt canonically has RAZOR BLADES for fingernails.

Q: HE IS GUILTY I HAVE LEARNT EDGEWORTH IS FRIEND oh boy give me a second

WOW

HOLY SHIT MATT YOUR FINGERNAILS OW

UM MATT STOP IT PLEASE YOU'RE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE

BF: WHAT DID I JUST SAY

Q: RAZOR BLADES

ABSALUTE KNIVES FOR FINGERNAILS

BF: and yet there is still endless speculation about whether or not his scars are from a self inflicted wound or not. WHICH WE REALLY CAN'T BE SURE OF HONESTLY

Q: What do you think on it?

aww adrian!!!

(It’s like 1 in the morning now)

Q: Awww!!!

BF: I've heard tons of convincing theories for one thing or another, and I've never settled on a single one.

Q: Alright!

BF: Self inflicted is the OBVIOUS answer...but I've also seen compelling arguments that it was like...Shoe the cat. Or Celeste.

Q: Miles!!! Hello :D

Shoe the cat haha

Celeste makes sense…

BF: I have one very specific scenario where it was JUAN, but that's for one of the AUs

Q: :D yay!!! Maya is good!!!

Hi Franz!!! Well AUs

I lost and i am HAPPY because I got Matt to FUCK THE HELL OFF

BF: (and in that scenario, it was very much self defense...but cutting up his face was unintentional.)

hahahah YOU GOT THE RIGHT VERDICT THAT'S THE IMPORTANT PART

Q: INTERESTING

Finally Phoenix understands Edgy's side of the story 

Edgy is best

BF: hahah I'M AFRAID I CAN'T TELL YOU MORE THAN THAT cause it's major spoilers for an ongoing fic

Q: Fine!

Q: hahaha ONE DAY FRANZ, ONE DAY.

Franz: You are no longer worthy of being a Von Karma!

Franz: :with a smile: And neither am I!

:O

...the whip?

I FEEL SO HAPPY FOR HER

Q: MAYA THE BEST THING JUST HAPPENED YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT

BF: hahah SHE REALLY WAS JUST TRYING TO CATCH UP WITH EDGEY, HONESTLY

Q: EVERYONE HERE NEEDS A HUG

HAPPY FAMILY PHOTO :D

Edgy you can be part of the family too

Q:

Maya: A feast!

me: AND EDGY WILL PAY FOR IT!

Hi gumshoe!!! You're also in the family :D

AND LOTTA!

AND POWERS

BF: lol what make the most financially well off person pay for anything? In THIS GAME? don't be silly

BF: EVERYONE IS HERE YAY

Q: EVERYONE IS IN THE FAMILY

EDGY PAY MY RENT

Q: IN THE COAT POCKET

FRANZ IS NEAR?

FRANZ IS PART OF THE FAMILY TOO

WHEREVER SHE IS

Q: Pearl after watching that you still ship me and maya seriously I thought you knew what 'gay' meant

best crackship

Q: RIP PHOENIX'S WALLET, THE EPIC TV SHOW SERIES IT NEEDED TOO MANY SEQUELS TO BECOME A MOVIE SO WE JUST MADE IT A TV SHOW

Q: ALRIGHT IM SLEEPING I’LL LOOK AT THE CREDITS LATER GOODBYE

:After sleeping:

Q: Alright I'm back and looking at the credits

Q: Maya that's not a good thing

Pearl not only did you kill phoenix' wallet again you still fail to see the one true ship here Good job Gumshoe!!! I hope you get a livable amount of money now! Sure I can see Bryde as a waitress... but wait if she's so unlucky then... crap

Q: I wonder where the real hotti is

You can do it Max!!!

BF: She’s definitely coming back in the next game, haha. So is Adrian, but Adri has a far far better time of it that time around.

Q: Well she's fun enough so i don't find yaaaay Adrian :D

BF: Maggey is doomed to have awful luck and end up in trouble though

Q: dangit. MAGGEY IM SORRY FOR YOU

Wendy!!! We got the assassin to kill Matt and got Matt a guilty verdict for killing Juan!!! Are you proud of me!

eh who cares

awww thanks Adrian!

haha Adrian x Franz why not

Q:  goodbye de killer, have you killed matt yet?

hey look the date is showing!

hi Franz!!!

Q: back. had a thing

but franz it does matter! everything matters!

Edgeworth: Are you running away? Franz: Shut up! FRANZ DON'T BE SAD

Q: Franz: You can't possibly understand what is means to be Manfred Von Karma's daughter! ARE YOU ACCEPTING THAT HE IS THE ASSHOLE I KEEP TELLING YOU EH IS

You are a good person, unlike your father

Q:  this is sad I love her character though and it is cool seeing ehr develop

MORE ADRIAN X FRANZ OF COURSE

Q: AWWW SHE'S CRYING D:

BF: I know aaaah. Poor Franziska

Q: BUT SHE IS IN FAMILY!

Sad music!!! Poor Franz D: Don't leave!!! I love you though!!! You are good!!! You're father was terrible! You don't need to be perfect! No one is!!! You're good the way you are!!!

Goodbye Franz! I hope we meet again :(

???

Maya's drawing!

...to the third game!

D: I am scared

(Edit: This drawing was made around 2 months later but it was a drawing of me yelling at everybody that they are in the family so i might as well put it here

)

[justlanroyref-blog]

Online dating hating tumblr

Hating, Dating and Procreating: Online Dating and the Alt Again, 5 picture spots and 3 are of your dogs and not you …hmmm are you hiding something? That mentality enables them to have fun experiences and coincidentally…see great results.  Good old fashion texting, emails, phone, generic instant messages? I always enjoy asking couples how they met.  Brand names can exist in fiction, just like song titles and novels can exist.  Someone you are messaging casually is not your therapist.  So I ask you… How often do you laugh on dates or when you meet someone new? So I downloaded the phone app called Plenty of Fish and started fishing for dates.

How to Stop Hating The Dating Process McCarthy appears to have taken a less active role in the alt-right since the scandal.  So I thought the time had come for some ranting about the less… rosy side of romance.  He asked if I wanted to meet again, and seemed really relieved when I said yes… There were some really nice moments and good signs.  Hardline racist dating sites associated with open fascists have existed for more than two decades.  Do you think those women are attracted to his awkward, embarrassing moves? After mentioning last night he was horny and I obviously shut that shit down I got a message midday about wanting to take my clothes off and what he wanted to do! If you have any questions you want me to address, be sure to post in the comments or via the contact form.  Instead, understand how they just say ridiculous things to amuse themselves.  Stormfront remains one of the most significant online meeting points for racists seeking romance.

My Online Dating Experience One would think that when everybody is working at a step or two removed from the immediacy — via online dating — those questions can still crop up and make people want to throw their hands up and scream in frustration.  No matter how interesting a night they had, their entire feeling about it was determined by whether or not the women found them funny and desirable.  Even if you have to put up with a lot of uh… weird. I have tried various dating apps and have found that all of these services, whether free or paid, have the same kind of people and situations.  Then say some silly, absurd, or random shit about it.

Online Fill in a friend on the date details before you go.  We went for coffee at a place he had looked up as being the best cafe in town , we stayed there until they were closing, and then we went on a row boat in the sunshine.  You meet someone at a party who tells you she was recently divorced or her father was widowed or her daughter was dumped and is having trouble meeting new people.  Most writers, particularly those who intend to publish, do use work-arounds but in a way that still fits for the story.  Or excuse yourself and go seek out the people who have success stories.

10 Ridiculously Offensive Things People Tell Asian Women On OkCupid I wish you romantic patience with a touch of — wait for it — cockiness.  The first move comes from making that initial tentative contact that will lead to a kiss at the end of the night.  And therefore having connections or conversations that are engaging, fulfilling, and amusing to you.  After a few minutes of this, he not so discreetly stopped to check and adjust his zipper, which was odd because it was still up where it should be.  So we meet up for a bite to eat at a happening little place just a short walk from my apartment.  But it seems like such a waste of time for everyone involved.

These Scientists Analysed How We Behave On Online Dating Services And It Is Very Silly I can see why people get really worn down by it though.  Dating a story is definitely part of the limited use, but the bulk of the answer falls into a legal area and it heavily depends on what is being mentioned, why, and the role it plays in the story.  Why do people love to tell you their bad online dating stories? I carry the conversation for a couple of messages, in case someone is having an off day, then I just…let it die.  Use has been encouraged by prominent figures in the British far-right, and profiles include familiar names to those following the British fascist scene.  In theory, it should be fairly simple; dude with the brightest plumage, women with the best child-bearing hips, 10 minutes of squishy noises and then a whole lot of controversy as to whether primates pairbond monogamously or polygamously.  Then, without further prompting, he began telling the stories of how he got them and how the second one was bullshit.

10 Ridiculously Offensive Things People Tell Asian Women On OkCupid Do you like to get sarcastic and absurd? So for the sake of conversation I commend him on staying hydrated in this weather.  The site racked up 1,300 profiles in the first two years of its existence.  So now, I am a bit of a Plenty of Fish and Tinder message and match collector.  True, dating ushers in all sorts of unknowns: Will he be funny? This is just an interaction with one random person.  The neighborhood is happening place, so I agreed, but steered our walk towards the direction of my street.  Please note: I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice.  Messaging should feel fun and easy! Of course, it is difficult to gauge how many white nationalists are hiding their beliefs on mainstream sites with the intent of manipulating women in this way.

online dating site Shift your perspective inward Starting to have fun with dating begins by shifting your perspective inward.  Then there was the case of the woman who asked her date to a flea market, made an excuse to use the restroom and promptly disappeared.  So instead, girls are less engaged and attracted to you.  You ask the questions you think they want to answer.  They ended up spending the night together.  Showing a character using Instagram is also fine.

Online dating fails. Ignore everything else around you and like you would at home.  From then on out, every sentence needed at least an f-bomb or two.  Finally, on a date a girl asked him about his guilty pleasures.  He thought it would be too off-putting.  Making up names and using generic terms for actions is always the best way to avoid all potential legal problems.  Ignoring a message or declining interest in someone is one thing, but initiating contact then declining straight after? She started opening up about her more eccentric side and they developed real chemistry.

[kiyote23]

Evernote - Oh, How I Want to Love You

I’ve been using Evernote for years now. At one point, I was all in on it, using it for almost everything I could think of. Any project I was working on had an Evernote notebook. And once I got my iPad, my use really exploded, as suddenly I had a notebook that automatically synced between my desktop and my tablet. I have the Evernote Moleskine notebook, and at one point, the Evernote Adonit stylus.

But Evernote has it’s problems, and eventually, I started looking elsewhere for my note needs. It really started when Apple Notes matured beyond a weird add-on to Mail.app. After a while of playing with it, I switched to using it full-time. And then Bear came along, and I tried just using Bear. And now things have swung full-circle, and I’m back to using good old Evernote. Evernote has some tricks that the others just haven’t learned yet.

Evernote is one place to stash everything. Any piece of information that I think I might want to look at later, I send it to Evernote. Little bits of information from work, like how to handle a certain problem, get chucked into a work folder. I’ve clipped a ton of articles about different games that I’m playing, tips and tricks, and tossed those into Evernote. And with a robust search feature, it’s pretty easy to get things back out.

And it’s really easy to get things into it. There’s a Safari extension on macOS, and Chrome extension, though I’ve had trouble with both of them hanging and locking up, and I’m not sure why. There’s a share sheet extension in iOS, and the feature that I love, an email address that I can forward emails to that causes them to get added to Evernote. This was great when I was getting a lot of different correspondence from different teachers and administrators regarding my sons school—I could send them to Evernote and be sure I could reference them at any point, even during a meeting.

Evernote also automatically OCRs any image that it gets handed. I’ve been doing a lot of handwritten notes on my iPad using GoodNotes, and I can toss those into Evernote as images, yet still be able to search my own handwriting because of the built in OCR. I routinely take pictures of different signs and notices I see, knowing that I can send them into Evernote and be able to search for them later.

Evernote has a pretty decent tagging system, allowing you to put any tag you want on any note. You can then filter your view to just see notes with certain tags, allowing you to create some pretty creative perspectives. I was just reading about someone who uses tags of dates to create a custom calendar within Evernote:

He organizes Evernote differently than some of the other ECCs, and his ingenious system creates a running agenda for him. “I organize by year, month, date, and time,” he said. “If I sort this way, then I don’t have to do anything to set my schedule for the day. I just look at Evernote, and it’s already there. There was a point when I stopped using calendars altogether. Just let Evernote tags automatically generate a calendar for you.” — 7 Tips From Experts: Watch Business Productivity Soar in Evernote

You can also organize notes into notebooks, and you can even group the notebooks into stacks, to really compartmentalize things. You can make the notebooks private, or you can make them public, allowing you to share their contents with other people. My wife and I share a notebook for our son’s school correspondence, so we can both access the information easily.

You can add a reminder to a note, allowing you to use Evernote as a task manager as well. You could use notebooks as projects, and tags as contexts, and create a useable GTD system. The reminder system is pretty basic, allowing you to set a date and a time, but there’s no allowance for creating recurring, repeating events.

There’s a built in chat system in Evernote. Like the reminder system, it’s a little rudimentary and not very robust. Like a lot of things in Evernote, it feels a little like a cool idea tacked on at some point without anyone following through to make it an integrated part of the Evernote process. This really sums up the Evernote problem: a lot of good ideas, some well implemented, and others not so.

You can share notes with other people, but they have to create a free Evernote account to see the note that you shared. There’s no option to share outside of Evernote, but the free account is pretty simple to set up. The sharing feature is nice if you’re working on a team alts using Evernote, or if you just need to work with one other person. The ability to let other people add to a notebook or edit a note is pretty cool, and might be one of the most under-leveraged functions within Evernote.

Evernote is robustly cross-platform, with clients available on macOS, Windows, iOS, and Android. There’s also a pretty good web interface, so you can get to Evernote even if you’re not at any one of your many devices. I played with Evernote’s cross-platform capabilities a lot when I was trying to figure out a way to work with Android devices. Evernote was able to easily sync between two devices, and gave me a viable way to write on one device and be able to pick it up on another.

Evernote is a cloud-based system, so putting your notes on a new device is as easy as installing the client and signing in. Changes made on one device sync onto another, and everything is accessible through a web interface. Having your notes in the cloud means that they’re always backed up, always accessible.

It all sounds good, but even as I’m writing about its good points, I’m reminded of the problems. Evernote uses an RTF system to provide rich text notes on the screen. Even weirder, this RTF system is HTML-based, so it’s prone to same problems of formatting that a lot of rich HTML editors run into—problems with bulleting and nesting lists; spacing issues; spaces between paragraphs. If you don’t care about these things, then writing in Evernote can be fine, if sometimes a little weird.

Sometimes there are syncing issues. For a while, the version of Evernote on my iPhone was behind all my other devices. It would hang while syncing, and then just give up. I’ve had both the desktop and the iPad give me errors with syncing as well. Eventually with my iPhone I just deleted the whole app and reinstalled, and it started syncing up again just fine. The syncing issues aren’t major, but they do detract from what feels like it wants to be a seamless experience.

And I don’t know if it’s related to the syncing issues or not, but I’ve had image issues as well. One set of hand-written notes that I imported wouldn’t display on my iPad. There were just empty blank frames. When I opened the note on my iPhone, the images were there. Even weirder, when I did a text search on my iPad, it highlighted the words on the missing images, so something was there.

A common complaint about Evernote is the cost. You can have a free account, but you’re limited in how much you can store, and maybe even what you can do. You’ll have to set up a yearly subscription to get more space and features, and there are different tiers. There was a lot of backlash when the subscription was implemented, and more when the prices were raised. I’m actually fine with the cost, because I use the app and the service, and I’d rather they focus on using the app to make money instead of selling notebooks, pens, or even socks.

Like I said, the main problem I have with Evernote is that it’s trying to do too many things, and as a result, it’s not doing some of them very well. The work chat feature is a little silly, particularly since so many people use the app on devices that already have communications apps on them, apps people use. I’d rather have an easier way to share a note over something like Slack than this rather transparent effort to get people to use Evernote.

And the HTML-based RTF WYSIWYG editor really shows Evernote’s age. Six or seven years ago, that was the easy portable way to do RTF. Now there’s Markdown, and there are even people who prefer to write and work in plain text, and it would be nice if there was an option to use those. I’d love it if when I imported something that had Markdown if the RTF editor would recognize it.

But for all of it’s flaws, I came back to Evernote. I tried Apple Notes, but found that there were a few features I really relied on in Evernote that weren’t in Apple Notes. And I tried Bear, mostly to use the Markdown support, and while Bear is nice, it’s not as powerful as Evernote.

Like I said, I use Evernote to collect things: Recipes; articles; pdf manuals for household appliances. These are things that you could put in Bear or Apple Notes, but they’re harder to get out. Evernote’s OCR and capturing and importing the text of a web page really make it a lot easier to search for what you’re looking for.

I’m also using Evernote as a, well, notebook. I’ve been taking notes of different things that I’ve read over the past couple of years, and I’m collecting them in Evernote. It’s a habit left over from years of being an English major, to collect a quote that really sums up a work, or something that’s really interesting. I can pull stuff from the web, from iBooks or Kindle, even from Pocket, and put it in my notebook. I have no idea what I’m ever going to do with them, but at least they’re there.

Ironically, the thing that I really want to use Evernote for, the thing that it seems to really want me to use it for, is project management. I’ve created notebooks for projects, collected materials, set reminders. You can even, pretty easily, create a table of contents note for a notebook, that helps you organize things. I guess what it would really function effectively as would be a project organizer, a project binder. That’s something I’m going to keep working at, I guess.

from dorkFarm http://ift.tt/2pTMRN9 via IFTTT

[yelir-atsirk]

1.Name Krista 2. Age 23 3. City that you live in Kansas City 4. What do most people not know about you? I have terrible stage fright 5. What do most people know you for? I hope people know me for my kindness, my sillyness and genuine nature. 6. Hobbies I love to sing and paint. 7. What are your passions? People, Love, Joy, Travel, God, Family and Service in pursuit of those things. 8. What do you search for in a significant other? Intellect, kindness, a humble nature, generous, goofy and gentle. Deep, soft, eyes and a hearty smile. 7. What are you most proud of? My ability to stick to my guns and do the right thing when it really matters. 8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love? My mother and I often have those. Outside of that, it has been quite some time that I've had a real milestone conversation with a love of mine own. 9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it? Not really? Coffee mugs are abundant, I keep little memorabilia from all over and can never seem to quit collecting pens. 10. List 10 things off of your bucket list. Visit Ireland Cross country road trip Ride in a Hot Air Balloon Cooking Class Take Piano Lessons Preform Live on stage Death Cab for Cutie live Grand Canyon Graduate College Attend a Murder Mystery Party 11. What was the last thing you learned? My Mom was teaching me how to make an omelet. 12. How many relationships have you been in? I count 3 legitimate one. 13. Turn ons Make me laugh, play with my hair and shut my mind up. Good kissers, strong arms, steady hands. 14. Turn offs Bad breath, insecurity, tough lips and try hards. It's meant to be fun, don't take it all too seriously. 15. Favorite food Pizza, melty cheese. 16. Favorite drink I love dr.pepper, sweet tea, blue moon and ice cold water. 17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received? Chicago Trip was pretty awesome, Gambino trip was equally awesome. 18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? Optimistic, no doubt. 19. Do you sleep during class? Not intentionally. 20. What is the most expensive thing you own? Do student loans count? 21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own? Key rings and Carribeaners 22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone? Yikes, lots. 23. Text or call? I love phone calls. 24. Opinion on long distance? It just doesn't work long term, plain and simple. It's like having half of a relationship. 25. What is your definition of success? Happiness. A balanced life. Simplicity. 26. Favorite song? Impossible to say. 27. Favorite artist? Death cab for Cutie, Alt-J, Mayday Parade and Kelsey Wild. 28. Celebrity crush/crushes? Ben McKenzie, Kit Harrington, Chris Evans and I lady crush on pretty much all of the Emmas. 29. When was the last time you read for fun? Last summer, working on that now. 30. Favorite flower? I love Gerbera Daisies, Sunflowers and Dahlias. 31. What is the best gift you could receive right now? Time off and some far away destination to travel to or someone to kiss on the regular. 32. Any guilty pleasures? Plenty. 33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself? Two words, Lazy Heart. 34. What do you search for in a friend? Real, honest, down to earth, supportive, silly and slightly crazy. Must not envy, manipulate or play stupid. 35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month? Oh lots, I'm sure. To a significant other? Zilch. 36. Where did you last go other than your room/home? Walgreens. 37. Why do bad things happen to good people? Not all bad things are bad. There's a lesson to learn in all that we experience. 38. In your opinion, what hurts more: Being left out or being stabbed in the eye? Eye stabs, like no fucking question. 39. How many green shirts do you own? Roughly 4. Not my color. 40. Do you like anime? Nope. 41. What do you invest the most time in? Work. TV. Sleep. Family and Friends. In that order. 42. What was the name of the last book you read? "The Testing" 43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone? Loving someone implies a vulnerability, wether voluntary and mutual or not. 44. Where are you most productive? Where ever I feel most inspired. 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends. Drinking. Eating. Talking. 46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone. Painting. Planning. Listening. 47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist? I don't. Humanity is far too fragile and fallible. 48. Do you have any allergies? I think not, but I will knock on wood anyway. 49. When was the last time you cussed at someone? Tonight's playoff game. 50. What was the last promise you made? I'm sure I promised a table I'd make something happen for them. 51. What was your last dream about? TEETH FALLING OUT. 52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be? My Mom, Riley, Brooke, Kristin and Gabby. 53. How many countries have you visited? One. 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.) Music without a doubt. 56. When was the last time somebody complimented you? I got a hair compliment today. 56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself? By my hair. 57. Do you consider yourself mature? I do, but perhaps that's naive and immature of me. 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr? Meh, a week possibly. 59. What is your favorite quote? "Our limited understanding of the truth has no bearing on whether or not the truth exists." 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be? I won't. 61. What is your greatest accomplishment? I've yet to feel as though I've had one of those. 62. Do you believe in the death penalty? I do not. 63. What are your goals for life? Live a life that follows God. Have a family, see the world, spread love and joy and know it deeply myself. 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now? Sleeping. 65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world. Somewhere sunny and green. 66. What were you like in 2013? I was 20, broke, and having a boatload of fun being both. 67. Do you have a job? Always. 68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend. She's still my best friend, and will always be. 69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be? It's hostility towards its own ignorance. The numb nature of education and the aggressive stifling of creativity and critical thinking. 70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before? Plenty. I'm a bit messed up. 71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website? It's all about that buzzfeed life. 72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars? Play a series of mini games and answer trivia questions on live Tv. 73. Does money equal happiness? In the right hands. 74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime? Oh plenty, but it's always fleeting and reserved simply for that moment only. 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime? Lots more. I feel a constant state of grief for time and youth and change. 76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told? Your mom. 77. When was the last time you looked at the news? Facebook counts, right? 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say? You are only temporary, but you are breathtaking. 79. What is your favorite animal? I love sea turtles, whales, humming birds and elephants. 80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it? Like lie still and be buried dead or disappear for 3 years dead? The first I could not, and the second would be so hard to do without friends or family let alone to them. 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at? Self discipline, accountability, consistency and honesty. 82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get? 3am average bed time, 8-9 hours average length. 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity? Fuck no. 84. What is your favorite clothing store? Rue 21, Target and Gordmans. 85. In the winter- beanies or gloves? Gloves. I got a weird shaped head. 86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail? Wings, duh. 87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it? All life has value, doesn't it? 88. What do you fear the most? Failure. Never taking any risks because of my fear of failure. 89. How many digits of pi can you recite? 3.14. 90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be? 21-22 was a damn good year. 91. Describe yourself in one word. Real. 92. Describe your last victory. Scheduled close all weekend, didn't close once. 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen? I'm sure it was something I've found in the fridge. My family is bat shit insane. 94. What is something you will never forget? Apartment 508. 95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail? Vivid detail. 96. Have you ever broken a bone before? Knock on wood, no. 97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody? Hate, by far. 98. Coffee or tea? Coffee. 99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way? Positivity, church, planning, self care. 100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today? Just the time to take this.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ upd8 2020-01-17

Alright, morningblogging yesterday’s 2020-01-17 upd8 to Homestuck^2 let’s go!  Spoiler-free again.  I kinda don’t want even the next chapter names image-spoiled above the cut anymore so I’m going to have to figure out WHAT to put above the cut in these liveblog posts for visual reinforcement... a unique silly icon?  Going back once I’m done with the upd8 and posting something non-spoilery but weird-looking out of context?

Eh, can’t be assed.  Just know that after this I’m going to pony up for the Patreon commentary and skim it for anything plot-useful to y’all (in a separate post).  Let’s get started.

Okay, what’s next:  Any bonuses?  Oh, none!  Phew.  Unless those are coming faster too and just staggered differently, which would mean I gotta overcome my irrational pre-Homestuck-reading anxiety even MORE often.  :T

No Homestuck you don’t GET to ask how my-- ah, right.  :P

(FYI, HS^2 has been good to my emotions so far, quite a balm for the epilogues, so once I START reading I’m usually fine; but after being hurt so badly how could I possibly convince my lizard brain to trust it until it’s right in front of me?  Seriously, just hearing that the upd8 has landed messes me up a bit until I come fix it by reading w/ y’all here.)

Okay, so whose feelings?  As much as I’ve been waiting for Jade, I hope this isn’t about Jade.

> ==>

Ah fuck, we’re finally with the Pursuit Crew.  Bracing myself.  That means we get to see probably sleeping Jade ( :C ), full-swing DaveKat (approving nod), the first canon onscreen look at masculine-mode Roxy (<3), a probably pretty pissed off Kanaya (possibly either the feelings target, the one Saying How Are Your Feelings, or both), and uh... did they drag Callie along?  Or leave her back there with her meta freakout?  Probably left her back there, but... hm.

Let me turn up the brightness on this screen to sear these next pages into my retinas.  (Also, it feels odd to still be using a four-person “==>” for these, although if Jade is still asleep the numbers might fit on both ends... :c )

> ==>

I don’t think Dad is in the spacefaring business, so this is probably one of Jake’s shittier spaceship designs.

> ==>

...well that’s a touch disturbing.  Is that a Jade-occupied bed or are those just pillows?

Oh what the fresh fanfic’y heck is this command.

> i enter.

Okay that’s great.  I got a kick out of that.

JADE [in calliope red]: the prince’s power grows.

--but that’s not.  That explains the narrative command text, it’s alt!callie talking through a still conked-out Jade.  Please let her wake up between speak-throughs, please tell me you’ve learned that trick??  I already know you’re gonna pull an “oh she was asleep pretty much all of those THREE YEARS OF TRAVEL” thing on me and that’s hard fucking enough to deal with.

KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST!

He’s actually using the full curse correctly, huh?

...These commands.  Guess part of the puzzle is how much alt!Callie is being typically morbid and how much she might actually be wising up enough to get a kick out of this.

> the knight of blood falls.

DAVE: dude can you chill for like even a single fucking second DAVE: also are you ok

Has CallieJade chilled for even a single second this entire trip??  Is he asking just if Karkat’s okay or Jade too???

--yeah I’m overblowing things out of nervousness.  Just wait and see a bit, boots.

Alt!Callie has at least learned to be more of a smartass:

> karkat is characteristically appreciative of the alarm call.

Shirt trade Karkat, nice.  And uh, Jade’s dress sure is a... dress.  Hm.

(Did alt!Callie alchemize adjustments to did she just luck out to have a red-symbol’d Bec belt and accent leggings?  I’d prefer the former, because as much as it would be acceptable within Homestuck proper, using the transition between the epilogues and this new-author’d work to just HAPPEN to give her a fitting outfit without an excuse via providence is kind of lazy.)

KARKAT: OH, PARDON THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR OVERREACTING A LITTLE WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND "POSSESSED JADE" BUSTS INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK AT 5 AM! KARKAT: NEXT TIME I’LL JUST PULL THE COVERS BACK AND LET HER CLIMB IN! JADE: i am uninterested in that scenario. KARKAT: GREAT! POSSESSED JADE ISN’T EVEN HORNY! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

...please let that mean he’s not used to her being possessed all the time and she wakes up sometimes.  PLEASE.

DAVE: but im pretty sure i locked that door JADE: i unlocked it with my mind. DAVE: fuck KARKAT: FANTASTIC. JADE: the prince’s powers are growing, but so are mine.

Dave, I’m pretty sure regular-ass no-Green-Sun Space powers can flip a few lock tumblers too.  (--though, I guess from context this was a Jakeship technolock.  Confirmation on the ship’s bad taste in design.  --I think I’m foggily remembering it said in the Epilogues that they took one of Jake’s ships just like Dirk did, too... man, being depressed so much by the Epilogues sure took a lot out of my ability to recall them decently.)

KARKAT: LIKE YOU DON’T FLOAT AROUND LIKE A CREEPY PIECE OF SHIT ALL DAY AS IT IS?

God DAMN IT she’s been asleep and possessed the whole fucking time.

> sleep is abandoned, coffee sought.

More obligatory DaveKat being cute, somehow only emphasized by the embarrassing glowing-with-power observer who doesn’t really get any of it.

Ah, here we go:

> the rogue is also awake.

Oh huh.  Cool!

Hero outfit, understated...  her his choice of heart-shades color-coded to stand out from Dave more to avoid further mistaken identity cases.  Works well!  (Holy shit I only JUST remembered at the end to go back and correctly gender Roxy as him, that was close. I blame the epilogues for a lack of visual reinforcement; I shouldn’t have as much trouble soon enough.  Seriously, I don’t remember ANYTHING without visual reinforcement, I think that’s why I remember so much of Homestuck proper so clearly.)

KARKAT: OH SHIT, THERE SHE IS! I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR HER FOLLOW US! ROXY: sometimes a girls just got to get her drift on i guess ROXY: it be like that

ilu roxy.

I missed Roxy so much, you guys.  I need more of him remarking on all this crazy shit if I’m gonna stay sane though all this.  (And I need more of him and AWAKE JADE kicking ass independently or together if I’m going to continue to believe there’s justice in the world.)

> ==>

We rarely saw Rose drinking anything but the rare coffee in canon, but I think Kanaya would have gotten her plenty into tea, yes.  Or at the very least, wanting the aesthetic of drinking tea with Kanaya would have gotten Rose into tea even if it never crossed Kanaya’s mind to try the stuff.

ROXY: well i mean who knows what she drinks now ROXY: dirk probs tossed the coffee machine out the space window right away ROXY: dude doesnt "believe" in "substances" > the prince is contemplated for a moment in silence.

FUCK, Dirk can see the narrative all the way out here???  No wonder alt!Callie’s forced to have possession turned on 24/7.  That’s fucking disappointing.  How the hell are we going to get any proper Jade time with THAT hanging over our heads?  She’d only be able to do anything when Dirk’s knocked out, and maybe not even THEN!

I was virtually promised more of actual non-asleep Jade getting shit done in HS^2.  Now there’s an even longer wait on it than I expected.  This sucks.

(EDIT: BOY did I misread that link line. Thinking “is contemplated” meant is sitting contemplating, when it meant "is being contemplated by everyone here". That was dumb of me.)

*clicks that next link*

Oh my goodness, Roxy joined the Bird Hair Crew.  It makes him look like a fucking asshole but I kind of love it.

KARKAT: IS THERE MILK?

I can’t believe Karkat is okay with drinking milk.  --yes, culturally Trolls are more comfortable with animal excretions than we are, but you would’ve thought years of railing against Equius would have purged any tolerance the idea of milk from his psyche.

I guess Dave introduced him to cereal, and it was all over from there.

DAVE: this is more like a castle DAVE: a castle of idk DAVE: twenty something ennui

Sounds like a relatable mood.  Especially considering Dirk probably decided to conquer reality out of almost nothing but twenty-something ennui.

Alright.  You aren’t going to turn Kanaya into an alcoholic or anything on us are you?

> the knight of time seeks a sylph...

--this is the shittiest shipboard starship aesthetic.

> ...and finds her, momentarily.

WOW that looks fucking depressed.  :(

> ==>

...okay you know what?  Never mind.  That outfit has wrapped straight back around into Trying Too Hard and is now hilarious.

DAVE: you ever feel like our whole lives are eventually gonna end up like this DAVE: just blasting through space on a sweeps long journey to ""somewhere"" chasing after or running from some vague enemy thats sometimes a god modded pet dog and sometimes your dad DAVE: without the faintest fucking idea of whats going to happen when we get there DAVE: thats a little specific but you know what i mean

Why do you think the epilogues upset us so much?  We thought we’d won free of that bullshit.

> ==>

Oh jesus christ that’s the most depressingly sad I’ve ever seen Kanaya drawn.  :C

--Karkat got you to watch Serendipity?  That’s amazing, Dave.

KANAYA: You Arent Reminding Me Of Her As I Rarely Think Of Anything Else KANAYA: I Close My Eyes And I See Her KANAYA: I Keep Them Open And I See Her

Fuck.

Y’know how little showing these two in love and actually HAPPY together we’ve seen in this entire comic and its subworks?  Despite them having spent at least a few happy years together we only saw in tiny screenclips?  And how Candy alluded super hard that they most likely couldn’t get that in this real timeline where shit’s going down?

Seriously, FUCK.  You could at least pretend to give us some hope, here.

Oh no, don’t ask for the nursery story, Dave.  Unless it turns out to be a funny one or a Rose twist on an old story or something.  Which it probably is, I should stop worrying.

> ==>

KANAYA: Oh Its A Wriggler Story About A Young Prince And The Beloved Flower He Loved And Lost DAVE: flower DAVE: like a plant KANAYA: Its A Fairytale Dave DAVE: right KANAYA: A Singular Wild Rose He Failed To Cherish When He Had Her KANAYA: And His Journey Of Discovering What She Meant To Him All Along KANAYA: Culminating In A New Quest To Find Her And Win Her Back

Dirk you PIECE OF SHIT did you rewrite the narrative of the fucking STORIES SHE TOLD CHILDREN?!??  Does the fact that alt!Callie is only in the present mean he can rewrite ANY past event we didn’t literally SEE???  FUCK you.  Seriously fuck all of this.

Please tell me she was kidding just then, or realizes there’s fucking something wrong with what she’s saying and getting angry or.

(EDIT: shoutyourporpoise replied: "Hey, idk If you picked up on this, but the 'nursery story' Rose told to the wigglers is just The Little Prince, which is maybe a BIT early for them to read, but I don't think that's a case of Dirk changing the narrative; its just Rose being Too Adult as usual." Oh, damn, I didn't even CATCH that it was that story. That makes all of this a lot more forgivable, even if pretty unforgivably leaning into the fiction that Dirk used to brainwash and kidnap her. Maybe that's exactly why it worked -- fiction, a story so blazed into the public consciousness? Hm. Thanks, shoutyourporpoise.)

KANAYA: But In A Way I Feel As If It Is the Greater Universe Trying To Tell Me Something

Mother fuck I’m even going to have to see our protagonists warped by Dirk when they’re ostensibly FULLY SHIELDED aren’t I.  There’s only so much of that I would be able to take, you know.

KANAYA: It May Simply Stem From My Longing To See Her Again And How Much Is Indicative Of Something More Sinister KANAYA: She Is A Goddess Of Light And The Only Of Her Kind We Know Is Alive After All KANAYA: Maybe Shes Wrested Dominion Of The Entire Concept In All Its Appearances Within This Frame Of Reference

Hm.  Well, it being a product of Rose’s ascension instead of Dirk’s is possibly a more charitable take, with Ultimate Rose projecting the delusion enforced on her backward, visible to past Rose’s Sight when she isn’t paying attention and thus paving the way for Dirk to paradoxically exploit that “ideal” as something Lighty and Important and “Perfect”.  I still don’t fucking like it though.

> ==>

DAVE: sorry i know you say you got your badass monster powers but kanaya you look tired as hell DAVE: not that im tryna psyche you or whatever but youre waxing poetic in the dark which i guess is maybe on brand but still

Yyyep.

DAVE: unless terezi is lurking in the vents somewhere and now that i bring that up its actually not out of the question so im kind of gonna be thinking about that one for a while

Pffff.

DAVE: youre the only person i know whos still basically the same as when i met you

--Which is kind of going to have to change, right?  She’s got some other cosmic purpose ready to change her a little more than she changed pre-human-troll-meetup, you’d think.

> ==>

Cute as hell.

> ==>

KANAYA: How Are Your Feelings

There’s the title drop.  I’d think Dave’s doing pretty well, considering?  Still fucked over by Dirk betraying and tricking Rose away who he’s been close with all his life, but.

> ==>

DAVE: except sometimes your best friend disappears and your other best friend goes into a ghost coma and your third best friend fucks off to space with your dad DAVE: the dude youve spent the last 7 years convincing yourself isnt an egomaniacal anime villain DAVE: and who isnt actually lying in wait to completely decimate your life and your emotions and shit

Ah... yeah.  A little worse than my casual list, huh?  Forgot that Jade vanishing into a possession-coma for THREE FUCKING YEARS is going to be hard on people inside the comic too, fuck.

DAVE: maybe it was naive to think that a bunch of twenty something trauma victims could run a society

I was honestly surprised they TRIED to run society at all.  Jasp even just highlighted a big reason why not in the bonuses.

DAVE: cool how earth c existed for centuries then we show up and manage to ruin society in seven fucking years

:(

Well, the trolls got THEIR lesson on why they didn’t deserve to rule over their new universe like gods; I guess some of y’all needed that lesson too?

DAVE: every serious conversation i have inevitably falls apart into riffing on a casual acquaintances ass

True.

Dammit, Dave didn’t feel like he could just be Some Guy even on Earth C.  :(

> ==>

...don’t think I’ve forgotten that nursery story, though.  I don’t want to think that it was something that ACTUALLY past happened, especially not without manipulation.  Like maybe past Rose was foreseeing the false purpose that Dirk wrote for her or the like, a cooperative misunderstanding between the two instead of Dirk or Rose literally reaching back in time.

> meanwhile...

KARKAT: WAIT, WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN ASKING? HE’S OBVIOUSLY NOT FINE. KARKAT: ARE ANY OF US? ARE YOU? ROXY: not rly KARKAT: EXACTLY.

:(

--Oh right.  I remember that Callie and Roxy were going reasonably steady in Meat even though it was only alluded to, she didn’t freak out and stay awol or what have you.  That’s good to remember.  But it means Roxy deliberately left her behind to go on this dangerous quest, for years.  :C

KARKAT: KANAYA BARELY EVEN TALKS, CALLIOPE WON’T LEAVE THEIR CABIN, JADE JUST FLOATS AROUND LIKE A CREEPY BALLOON THAT’S MOSTLY MADE OF HAIR.

Oh, SHIT.  I should have read one line further.  They DID bring her.  Alt!Callie being here too must really FUCK with her.  ...maybe she can actually learn to accept that alternate way her life might’ve played out, though?

KARKAT: THE REALLY FUCKED UP THING IS I MIGHT BE THE MOST OKAY OUT OF ALL OF US, WHICH IS HOW YOU KNOW SHIT HAS REALLY GONE GLOBES UP.

Quite true.

ROXY: ur kinda an intense dude anybody ever tell u that KARKAT: NO.

Pff.

> ==>

KARKAT: AGAINST PRETTY MUCH ALL ODDS, AND DESPITE ME NOT DESERVING ANY OF IT, I ENDED UP GETTING PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING I WANTED. KARKAT: OVER AND OVER AGAIN. KARKAT: SOMETIMES IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE WHATEVER SLATHERING MONSTROSITY OF A COSMIC HELLBEAST THAT PUT ALL THIS SHIT INTO MOTION...ACTUALLY LIKES ME?

Well, if you want to blame Lord English for instance... we never saw Caliborn and Karkat interact much, but the parallels between the two were drawn so severely that Caliborn was basically the idealized, multiverse-threatening Ultimate Kismesis that he’d always dreamed of.  And operated against him without him even ever quite realizing it.

If a level of “respect” went from Caliborn to Karkat, too, from his Lord-Englishy vision nigh-omnipresent, then this outcome isn’t very surprising at all.

> ==>

(I don’t quite feel I get why Roxy shifted to this exasperated-Dave expression, but I get logically that he’d been waiting for Karkat to make a breakfast choice... Homestuck proper rarely pulled a “last line said corresponds to next-panel’s expression” without either leaving the conversation blank or having the NEXT lines of the conversation reinforce it, to prevent this inelegant misunderstanding.  Andrew was really damned talented in getting his point across visually, in that regard.  Just like, that careful visual intent delivery.)

Alright, I guess that’s it for this short upd8!  Meeting the pursuit crew was both more and less difficult than I expected.  Hopefully I get desensitized a bit as the characters continue to feel semi-almost-sorta-fine.

I have NO idea how this group is gonna work as a proper crew when we get to whatever weird other-players’ session this shit is going down in, though.