#;cw: suicidal tendencies mention

[corcnaiism]

;-- caffine cops is the song that prompto wrote himself ( with included changes to lyrics slightly ) and played it on his acoustic guitar to the rest of the boys. they adapted it to add more instruments, but it is a song they don't perform for the public, except for close relatives like regis, luna, and iris.

it is a song about his struggles with coping with life after escaping from his broken home life and trying to find himself and his purpose once he's been freed from that. he mentions being part of the band and spending time with people who genuinely care about him, how he wants to make someone proud of him ( that someone being his homeroom teacher ), and how he has been able to see the good in life ever since he got accepted by the boys and other important people in his life, currently no longer thinking about unaliving himself and finds himself surprised that he can start planning for his future when he didn't think he'd live pass teenage years. he's "having a pretty good time right now being alive," and that is a very important message to him that he was able to come in terms with himself.

[i-3at-s0ap]

The urge to kill myself is strong but the urge to paint my partners blorbos for a Valentine's Day present is stronger

[warrenwaskilledbyadeer]

I wanna make a joke about myself but I also wanna warn people that it's about suicide so if that's too much you can keep on scrolling, though I will be tagging every suicide tag I can find so this post can be easily blocked, and it's mostly a joke

Me playing games with my aunt and brother:

They don't even know I'm borderline suicidal-

[kkami-writes]

waiting for us — masterlist pt 2: electric boogaloo

pairing. OT8 x fem!reader synopsis. At age 16 you either get your soul mark (in the form of your soulmates name somewhere on your body) or you become a blank, someone who doesn't have a soulmate. You've long lost any semblance of hope or comfort in the magic of soulmates, despite the fact that you have 8 of them. genre. soulmate!au, college!au, social media!au + written parts, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut cw. swearing, mentions of sex, sexual innuendos, skz should be in horny jail, eventual smut (MDNI), domestic abuse, sexual assault/harassment, implied/referenced self-harm, suicidal tendencies/thoughts, implied/referenced past suicide attempt, male x male relationships (skz are soulmates), polyamory, kms/kys jokes, mentions of homophobia + transphobia, lots of written parts, reader is really bad at feelings, ulzzang pics (this is more so to focus on the fashion), appearance of junhao, yeji and hyunjin are siblings, more to be added wanna support my work? consider buying me a coffee.

go back to masterlist part one. Chapter forty one. sunset Chapter forty two. ferret coded Chapter fourty three. more rumours Chapter forty three point five. a talk w/ hyune Chapter forty four. to nationals Chapter forty five. andong Chapter forty six. moonlight (s) Chapter forty seven. congrats on the sex Chapter forty eight. concern Chapter forty nine. afterparty Chapter fifty. +8 Chapter fifty one. the wedding (s) Chapter fifty two. jypapi Chapter fifty three. the thread Chapter fifty four. waiting for us Chapter fifty four point five. threats Chapter fifty five. time skip Chapter fifty six. silence bottom Chapter fifty seven. showcase prep Chapter fifty eight. the winter showcase Chapter fifty nine. found Chapter sixty. lost

bonus chapters: everyone's sexual preferences. thirst tweets. handsome boys. size boyfriend day! memes part one | part two alignment charts the bet of who's gonna kick mio's brothers ass.

[chlorinecake]

PART 2: GHOST FACE YANDERE imagine

Ｂｌｏｏｄ Ｏｎ Ｉｃｅ | 얼음에 피 - a park sunghoon ff

⚡︎ cw: mentions of suicide, violence, character deaths, swearing, underage drinking, pregnancy/marriage themes, lgbtq+ themes, non-con scenes, heavy petting/kissing, ft. other kpop idols

⚡︎ summary: your unexpected pregnancy causes yandere!Sunghoon to grow unhealthily obsessed with you. the ex ghost face killer is then driven to dangerous extremes to ensure that you remain his (read part 1 and part 3)

⚡︎ wc: 13.6k (sorryyyy)

❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆now and then

Love always had a way of making Sunghoon Park go a little mad at times. Though, the young charmer with a deviant undercut was more of a threat to himself than anyone else around him. His obsessive tendencies led to him developing an obsession with the very thing he feared most: losing someone he loved.

Coupled with his compulsion to protect that love at all costs, Sunghoon ranked up an impressive kill count over the past three years.

Some may consider his inner world to be one of blind devotions, vanity, and false justices. Another might ask what’s so monstrous about fighting for love?

Everything, Sunghoon would warn you.

He lived day after day, feeling like a menace in love's never-ending nightmare, when all he ever wanted to be was the hero. He thought that if he killed just a little more, that maybe love would hurt a little less. But, to be honest, there was more to Sunghoon's violence than noble love. In a world of prey, murder granted him power, even amongst predators, a power that would drive him to dangerous extremes for the rest of his life.

Sunghoon discovered his true self in the very darkness that haunted him. The same darkness he would eventually find you in, hoping that someday, your light might consume him and grant him peace. Besides, you were the only 'good' he knew after his sister's passing.

It caught him off guard, his feelings for you.

Sunghoon grew fond of you beyond the fleeting satisfaction your body bestowed him by force, or during tearful fits after he'd just beaten you senselessly.

Oh, he thought you were such a pretty crier, it gave him a rush he wished to feel forever.

You were addicting, his new favorite drug.

꒷꒦ 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐨…

The sound of school bells shattered your fragile sense of contentment, signaling for you and the rest of your disappointed peer's to attend the most detested class of the day: Physical education.

That day's roster consisted of a brutal dodgeball game, girl's versus boys. You weren't typically in the mood to have rubber balloons launched at your head, so you successfully escaped class under the lie that you were experiencing unbearable cramps. Mr. Peterson, your P.E teacher, handed you a hall pass, dismissing you from participation.

You made your way to the ladies restroom, located only a few steps from the gymnasium. Walking up to one of the bathroom sinks, you checked yourself out in the mirror, only to be met with the sound of hushed sobs, coming to a full stop upon the realization that someone else had entered the restroom.

"Hello?" Your voice echoed against the faded tile walls.

Hiccup.

The suppressed cry that slipped from her throat gave away her hiding spot. You paced down to the furthest bathroom stall, your gym sneakers squeaking with each step.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Are you alright in there?" You whispered, pressing your face flush against the obviously unlocked door.

"Please, just go away," the sullen voice begged you.

You sighed, "I hope you're not naked in there, because I'm coming in, anyway."

The sobs only heightened in response.

"Three," you began counting down, "two... one," you slung the heavy door open, revealing a teary eyed Wonyoung Park, sitting with her knees to her chest on the cold restroom floor, still in uniform.

You got on your knees to meet her before handing her a tissue.

"Thank you," she frowned, blowing her nose.

Your gaze swiveled around the gloomy stall, spotting a rectangular blue box stuffed in the trash can.

Reaching for it, Wonyoung gently swatted your hand, pulling your attention back to her.

"Please don't look at that," she pleaded, using her delicate fingers to dry her swollen eyes.

"Why're you crying?"

"It's really none of your business."

"Tell me or else I'm looking in the trash can."

She scoffed at your threat, crossing her arms again. "What's it to you anyway? We hardly know each other and now I'm supposed to give you life updates?"

"I'm just looking out for you, okay? It's a pretty big deal to find a girl crying in a school restroom with no explanation."

Wonyoung toyed with the beaded bracelet on her wrist, letting your words sink in before responding.

"Fine. I'll tell you why, but only if you share a secret in return."

“Seriously?” You asked both offended and surprised at the simple exchange.

“Yes, now start talking or I'll change my mind,” she giggled, nose still stuffy from her crying.

“Hmm,” you pondered, sitting crisscross applesauce as you struggled to think of something. Then it hit you.

“Well, it’s actually a secret about my friend, Kazuha, if that’s okay.”

“Of course, now go on," she directed eagerly, peering in closer as you started to speak.

“Okay, so, it all started with Jay's house party during freshman year. A simple game of truth or dare led to us having to kiss each other."

"On the lips?"

"Yes, but it was only a quick peck. The next day, she confessed her feelings for me, but I rejected her for the sake of our friendship.”

By now, you could hardly tell Wonyoung had been crying, as her white eyes widened with pure shock.

“Kazuha’s a lesbian?!”

“Shh! Keep it down,” you whispered, eliciting a fit of giggles from Wonyoung. “And no, she’s bisexual. That means she's interested in guys and girls."

Wonyoung stared at the ceiling in thought, “Y'know, now that I think about it, I do remember her peeking at me in the showers a few times.”

“Wonyoung!” You whisper-yelled.

“What? I didn’t mind or anything. I just thought it was a little strange.”

“I think you're forgetting something, missy," you said, reminding her of the deal you made earlier.

“Oh, right. Sorry,” she smiled before her restored countenance returned to the sad expression you found her with. She swiped the cardboard box from the trash can, placing it in your lap.

It was a pregnancy test.

No more words needed to be exchanged for you to know why she was crying, but she went on to explain anyways.

"Me and Jun-Hwan were together a few times, and... I... we used protection, but... just don't tell my brother. Please."

"You won't have to worry about me telling a single soul about this," you replied, shoving the box in your gym shorts pocket to throw away later.

Back then, you and Wonyoung didn't know each other well, but you divulged secrets you wouldn't have told anyone else, sharing a bond just close enough to be considered 'pending friends.' Your silly pinky promises to her have remained unbroken to this very day, cherishing her secrets as if they were your own. However, your connection with Wonyoung was short lived, as you would eventually betray her for Kaz and Mads.

➠ sunday -❆- present, one month after your abduction...

5:56am

The sound of your vomit clashing with the clear toilet water every morning became somewhat familiar for you and Sunghoon over the past few weeks. First, you felt the urge angrily twisting in your stomach. Then, your cheeks started to sting from the acidic saliva forming underneath your tongue. On bare knees with a hunched back, clinging to the toilet bowl with all your might, Sunghoon held your hair back, gravely concerned for your well being as you threw up for the nth time that morning.

It goes without saying that Sunghoon handled you harshly at times, but your escalating symptoms led him to believe that it was more than just some strange abuse response you developed.

You also began to experience backaches and tender breasts.

“I don’t like being rough with you when you’re already weak, ____, so stop fighting back when I want to play with you.”

Fatigue and intense abdominal cramps made each day under his ruling seem like a century.

“Remember that you’re here to suffer, ____. This pain is something you’ll have to endure for now.”

And then…

You missed your period.

Clutching unto your nearest hand as if never wanting to let go, Sunghoon sat on the edge of the bathtub beside you, anxiously waiting for whatever result dared to appear on the two pregnancy tests.

He picked with the dead skin that made up his nail bed, shallow breaths escaping his rigid body.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Sunghoon leaped at the sound of the alarm, reaching for the tests that rested dauntingly on the bathroom counter. Lifting the results to his eyes, his gaze softened at the sight of double positives, letting out a deep sigh.

"What is it, Sunghoon," you spoke softly, getting up from the tub to meet him. He set the tests on the counter again, turning to face you.

He took both of your trembling hands in his. "____," he began with a whisper, "I need you to listen to me when I say that I am never letting you go. Not with our child, and not without me."

Kissing the top of your head, he held you so impossibly close to him that you could hear his heart beating. “We must stick together now.”

And just like that, everything around you was suddenly changing, your foggy mind could hardly keep up. Sinking into his embrace, you felt both of your bodies simultaneously breaking and rebuilding themselves.

The news was heavy, but something about the idea of being a mother made you feel light.

➠ monday

6:27am

Despite how angry you made him at times, Sunghoon knew he had to tone down his hostility towards you. The potential baby’s health and safety became one of his top priorities, and he refused to risk it all on plain rage.

As far as your academic career was concerned, Sunghoon had clarified a while ago that your college plans were as good as forgotten.

Though, with a possible baby on the way, you were somewhat thankful for him making you drop out.

You and Sunghoon scheduled a doctor's appointment to have your pregnancy confirmed professionally before making any major changes. “So, you’re not worried about bringing me around people anymore?” You asked him, sitting with your legs crossed in the passengers seat of his car.

“I have no reason to be worried. You’ve learned better than to do or say anything stupid. Besides, I’ll be there the entire time. Now sit back and put your seatbelt on.”

You internally rolled your eyes, reaching for the seat belt before buckling it in.

Clink.

You pressed your body against the seat, reclining it backwards to relax your posture.

“Well, does that mean I can leave the basement more often now?”

He snickered to himself, shaking his head at your nonsense. The car rocked slightly as he drove past the stony trail.

“We’ll see what the doctor has to say about your condition. Then, I’ll decide from there.”

7:19am

It was still fairly early in the morning when you and Sunghoon arrived at the hospital. The parking lot was packed with cars and trucks positioned haphazardly in every which way. After finding a decent parking spot, you two made your way into the clinic, large sliding doors closing swiftly behind you.

Immediately, you were met with the sounds of the intercom, murmuring codes and directions from the ceiling speakers. Nurses dressed in pastel shrubs paced hastily up and down the hallways, greeting the two of you with simple yet friendly nods. “Good morning,” one of them would say, but you only waved back.

Eventually, Sunghoon's gaze fixed on the waiting room, guiding your steps as he held your hand. The row of chairs sat frail elderly citizens, runny-nosed children, and other eager patients waiting to be treated. You and Sunghoon found an idle loveseat located near a window next to the noisy air conditioner. You sat closely together, trying to absorb any warmth emitting from your shivering bodies. "How're you feeling?" He asked, toying with a loose thread hanging from your top.

"Nervous,” you admitted, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Don't be," Sunghoon whispered back to you.

That's when a tall man with round spectacles entered the waiting room, earning desperate looks from every person seated in the stuffy square.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Lee, but feel free to call me Heeseung."

Sunghoon left your side, standing up to meet the doctor before giving him a firm handshake. "Nice to meet you, Dr. Lee. My name is Sunghoon Park, and this is my girlfriend, ____."

'There's no way in hell he just called me his girlfriend,' you thought to yourself.

"It's a pleasure to treat you two today," he smiled while adjusted the glasses over his bottom nose, flipping through sheets of paperwork on his clipboard. "Let's see, you scheduled an appointment over the phone for an HCG blood test at 7:30 sharp... Okay! Everything looks great. You two can follow me to my office and I'll be with you shortly."

Heeseung started walking before either of you could respond, your legs mirroring his fast pace as he made his was around the maze of a hospital.

You were present physically, yet your mind was stuck on the image of Dr. Lee's face that stained your mind. He looked relatively young to be a doctor, with the attitude of a preschool teacher, full of glee and optimism. Your first impression of him was odd, though, at the same time, admirable.

Heeseung closed the office door behind you, directing with a simple hand gesture where you and Sunghoon could sit. He flicked on a light before taking a seat himself in a rolling chair, holding the clipboard and pen as if it was a color pallet and paintbrush.

"Okay, so I read something on your report about a previous drugstore pregnancy test?"

"Yes, she took two at home and they both came back positive."

"Awesome! Though, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be 100% sure, which is why we'll be sampling her urine today."

Oh, God.

"Estimate how long ago you suspected to be carrying."

"About two weeks ago,” Sunghoon answered.

"Mhm, and when was your last menstrual cycle?"

A temporary silence filled the room’s air.

"____?" Sunghoon rested a hand on your lap, snatching you from your thoughts.

"Erm, around 6 weeks ago. Sorry."

"It's alright, love. Appointments like this tend to be daunting for women your age. Anyways, if you are pregnant, a dating ultrasound is something you can look into. It helps us determine the precise size of an embryo, if that sounds interesting at all. From the sounds of it though, you're around 12 or so weeks."

Heeseung proceeded to fill the sheet of paper with neat cursive notes down, taking a sip from the Starbucks coffee that sat on his desk, the warm liquid slightly fogging up his glasses.

"Okay, so I have this fun little deer themed folder here, and this is where I'm going to store any notes or important information you provide. I’ll make a copy for myself so you can take this one with you when visiting other medical professionals. What sort of symptoms have you been experiencing, love?”

You looked up to the ceiling in thought, "Uhm, morning sickness has been a major one. I’ve also experienced some abdominal cramps."

"Hmm, I see. Ovary aches are entirely normal during the first weeks of pregnancy, and often follow a mother into her later months."

Simultaneously, your mind both appreciated and stressed over the information overload you were experiencing at this moment.

You understood that Dr. Lee was only trying to equip you with the best information and service possible, but you still couldn’t shake the nerves.

"How often are you and your partner intimate in the bedroom?"

Your heart sank at his question, the word “intimate” being quite far from what occurred between you and Sunghoon, and it rarely took place in a bedroom.

”I’m sorry, what?" Sunghoon asked, also in disbelief.

"How regularly do you and ____ have sex?"

You could feel yourself sweating now.

"Uh-”

"A few times a week,” Sunghoon answered for you again.

You felt so dirty after hearing him say that, it probably showed all over your face.

"And none of you have a history with STI’s or related diseases, correct?"

"Yes. I was her first and I got tested before we tried anything."

What a stupid lie.

Heeseung gathered the notes he made, tucking them into the deer folder. Returning to the clipboard, he flipped to a colorful page, looking up to meet your eyes.

"This is a mental health check sheet. I’m going to ask you a series of questions, and it’s imperative that you answer every single one honestly. Can you promise me that, Miss ____?"

You looked to Sunghoon for permission, and he nodded back to you. "Yes, Dr. Lee, I promise.”

"Awesome! On a scale from strongly agree to strongly disagree, you often experience feelings of anxiety."

"Strongly agree."

"Depression?"

"Agree."

"Calmness?"

"Somewhat disagree."

"Feelings of fear?"

"Strongly agree."

"Suicidal thoughts-"

"I think I've had enough of your silly questions!" Sunghoon interrupted, your body flinching at his sudden raise in vocal tone.

"I’m just proceeding with protocol, sir. I’m not trying to step on your anyone’s toes here. Nice shoes, by the way," the doctor joked, trying to lighten the mood, but Sunghoon wasn't having it.

"She's perfectly fine. Right, ____?” He asked, shaking your shoulder, “Aren't you happy?"

You felt your palms grow clammy, afraid of how Sunghoon might blow up on you for saying the wrong thing, so you kept quite.

"____, is your boyfriend making you feel uncomfortable?"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Heeseung ignored him and continued counseling you, "It’s perfectly normal to feel anxious while answering such personal questions in front of your partner."

"Oh please," Sunghoon interjected.

Heeseung stood up from his rolling chair, standing a few inches above Sunghoon.

"Can you step out of the room for a bit? I’m trying to assess my patient and you're hindering the process. Considering my tight work schedule, I can’t afford to waste my time going back and forth with you."

"Sunghoon," you pleaded from your seat, giving his balled fist a gentle squeeze.

He responded by grabbing your wrist, dragging you from Dr. Lee's office.

"What," he spat harshly, tightening his lips as he pinned you to the now closed door.

"Your temper will only lead to trouble if you stay. I think its best that you step out for a bit while we finish."

His gaze fell to the floor as he considered your idea.

"Fine. I’ll be waiting for you in the car at the same parking spot. You have exactly thirty minutes to finish up with him, or else I’m gonna make sure you’re pregnant once we get back home, understood?” he asked in a low voice, sending shivers down your spine.

“I understand, Sunghoon,” you complied, afraid to meet his eyes.

He stormed off in the opposite direction, leaving you to sort things out with the doctor.

Considering your limited time frame, you rushed into Heeseung’s office, apologizing for Sunghoon’s behavior.

“How soon will results for a urinalysis come back?”

“Normally, no longer than five minutes,” he said, handing you an empty cup. “Take your time, love.”

The excitement you felt from knowing that peeing in a cup could save your ass was strange, yet enjoyable nonetheless. You returned the yellow sample to Dr. Lee, earning your third and final pregnancy confirmation within four minutes.

"Congratulations," Heeseung cheered, holding a bowl of colorful stickers for you to choose from. "I will be your general healthcare provider for the duration of your pregnancy unless any changes are made. I’m available during the week if you need anything, but expect to hear from me weekly,” he smiled as you fished through the stickers. “Don’t stress, just pick one intuitively.”

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes befofe pulling out an oddly shaped piece of paper. “A snowflake,” you beemed softly, taking in the glittery periwinkle accents that made up the image.

“It’s been twenty minutes, Miss ____. I’m afraid your boyfriend is waiting on you.”

Your smile faltered, “What did you just say?”

“I said I look forward to treating you again. Have a blessed day, now.”

“R-right, uhm, you too,” you waved, tucking the sticker into your pocket before traveling down a few elevators, making your way to the parking lot. You could see Sunghoon still sitting in the driver’s seat, gripping the steering wheel as he awaited your return.

You sat beside him in the passenger’s seat, remembering to buckle up your seatbelt this time.

“How’d everything go?” He asked nonchalantly, immediately turning on the car ignition.

Pulling out of the parking spot, he made his way around the hospital, cruising down the interstate.

“I’m pregnant.”

➠ tuesday

6:53pm

The sound of Sunghoon's heavy footsteps from behind the basement door broke the little concentration you held while thinking. He unlocked the basement door and entered the still atmosphere, making his way over to where you were sitting. Placing a navy blue suede box on the table, he took a seat beside you.

“What’s this," you asked curiously, eyes trained on the dainty object.

“Just open it," he urged, fidgeting with his fingers.

He wasn't nervous. Was he?

You wasted no time reaching for the navy blue chest, flipping its golden latch open to reveal a shiny silver ring with the most dazzling violet stone at its center. Gold details encased the gem like protective roots of a tree.

You examined the ring further, noticing the name “Park” carved in hangul at its underside.

“Sunghoon-"

“It was my grandmother’s,” he began, stopping you mid sentence. He took the ring from your grasp and slid it down your wedding finger.

So many thoughts were running through your brain now. It was a tragedy how Sunghoon could switch from a complete monster to one of the most gentle creatures you've ever known during moments like this.

"It's beautiful," you admitted with a shaky voice.

He smiled. “You really think so?”

“Mhm,” you barely nodded, tears beginning to form in your eyes. You knew where Sunghoon was going with this, what he was going to ask you, and what your answer should be unless you wanted your tongue ripped from your throat. Sunghoon’s gesture likely arose for reason of you carrying his child. Though, you weren’t oblivious to his growing possessiveness of you. The crooked romance.

He took your hand in his and got on one knee, kissing your cold knuckles. He met your eyes, sporting a look on his face that you couldn’t quite read as you'd never seen his features so sickeningly soft.

“____, will you marry me?”

You fell to your knees at the question, even though you already knew it was coming. Meeting him on the ground, you fell into his arms, crying into the crook of his neck. The now familiar scent of him met your nostrils as your tears dampened his shirt.

Fuck, you could hardly pull yourself together.

Sunghoon smoothed the nerves of your back with the warmth of his hand, trying to calm you down. "Shh," he cooed, patting your head.

“I’m gonna need an answer soon, ____.”

Why wasn’t he forcing you into submission all of a sudden?

You broke from his embrace, wiping the tears that fell from your eyes. His hand was still busy running over your skin, trying his best to soothe you.

Placing your hands on his shoulders, you looked him earnestly in the face, taking what felt like the deepest breath of your life. You knew it was for the best. You knew you couldn't say 'no.'

“I’ll marry you, Sunghoon.”

The tension in his body disappeared out of relief. He took your chin in his hand, kissing you on the lips this time, eyes fluttering at the pure bliss your taste brought him.

“Thank you, ____,” he smiled softly, “I’ll try my hardest to make you love me.”

꒷꒦ 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐨…

“She’s pretty for nothing with a personality denser than a brick,” Kazuha whispered, taking a bite of her burrito.

“Too bad her baby daddy’s six feet underground. I guess that means child support isn’t an option anymore,” Maddison added, feigning a pout.

“As if her spoiled rich ass would need it anyway,” Kazuha went on, wiping some sauce from the corner of her mouth.

“Wanna trade lunches? I’ve got tuna on wheat with French fries," you chirped in between the two gossiping girls.

“Hell no! I’m keeping my chicken wrap, girly. Enjoy your canned fish.”

“Oh God, here she comes,” Maddison said with a mischievous grin, eyeing Wonyoung as she walked through the cafeteria.

“Do you think her skirt is way too high or is it just her long as fuck giraffe legs?” Kazuha asked facetiously.

“I’m surprised she got past the school entrance with that on,” you observed, taking a sip from your water bottle.

“Hell, if I had a brother that looked like Sunghoon, I’d totally be down for incest,” Maddison shamelessly admitted.

“That was so random, get some help, chick,” you laughed, nudging her shoulder.

“Ugh, fuck, yes! Yes! Just like that, don’t stop. Mmm, feels so fucking good! Nghh, I’m gonna cum,” Kazuha performed with screwed eyebrows as Wonyoung sat down a few tables across from you and your friends. "Was that convincing enough, Wonnie?" Maddison poked, grabbing a handful of your fries before launching them in her direction. Salt remnants from the fried snack decorated Wonyoung’s coal black hair. She hid behind her bangs, terribly embarrassed from all the harassment. “Aww, looks like she’s shy with the lights on, ladies!”

Wonyoung got up from her seat with haste, walking towards the cafeteria exit as she carried the lunch tray with such a grip that her knuckles turned pink.

“Oh, you want us to meet you in the bathroom? Such a dirty girl,” Maddison cackled.

Those were some of the same sounds that kept Wonyoung awake at night.

“How’s your brother doing?” You asked, redirecting her attention on you.

“Why?” Maddison inquired back, sounding offended by your question.

“Dunno. Just thought I should ask.”

She took a deep breath before answering, “Max’s condition isn’t really improving yet, but the doctors are doing everything they can to help him get better.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” you and Kazuha said in unison.

“Don’t be. Being sorry is for homos, anyways.”

➠ monday -❆- present, one week later

9:30am

The hospital soon became a sweet place to you, an appreciated break from the basement you typically spent your days in.

Dr. Lee clarified the difficulties of distinguishing a baby’s gender as early as 13 weeks, but Sunghoon was desperate, scheduling you for a dating ultrasound.

Sunghoon wouldn't accompany you at the clinic today, due to academic obligations. In spite of his personal vendetta against you, he seemed genuinely serious about this new chapter in his life.

After stopping for breakfast at Café Royale, Sunghoon dropped you off at the hospital around 10 am, leaving for his first class of the day.

You made your way to the hospital’s fifth floor, greeting all of the friendly nurse faces that you'd grown to be more familiar with over the past week. There was a slight delay before Dr. Lee called you into his office.

"Good morning, Miss ____. Got any good rest last night," he asked, flipping through random sheets of paper on his famous clipboard.

"Morning, Heeseung. I don't work long shifts like you all week, so I really can't complain." Something about your comment made him smile.

"Oh, so I'm 'Heeseung' now? Or is that only when your boyfriend's not around?"

"Uh, it's not like that," you stammered.

"Relax, I was only teasing. You can take a seat on the metal bed for me and I'll be right with you," he said, rolling up his long sleeve turtleneck before slipping on a pair of blue latex gloves. "Alright, let's see what we have here," he began, sliding over in his rolling chair. He pulled your shirt over your stomach, massaging a clear gel against your lower abdomen.

"If I'm being honest, you seem nervous. Is everything okay, love?"

"Yeah, just a little anxious," you admitted, thinking about how desperately Sunghoon wanted a daughter, and the 50/50 chance he had at getting one.

"Well, I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about. Your recent blood work looks good, the baby glow is kicking in...you're in a good place, Miss ____."

"Ow," you winced at the pressure he applied to your stomach.

"Your baby bump is hardly noticeable, I'm surprised you felt anything, but discomfort is normal" he pointed out. "Everything feels great. He's gonna be a healthy fellow.”

“Or she," you blurted out.

"Of course. A little princess would bring all the more joy to you and Mr. Park's life... oh," he paused, running a finger over the scar above your navel.

“Was that from an impulsive high school belly button ring,” he laughed to himself, going to grab the x-ray handcamera. The memory of Sunghoon poking you with the knife reminisced in your mind. Shaking it off, you tried redirecting your mind on a different topic. “Not exactly,” you admitted, “I don’t think it’s best that you treat me anymore.”

Heeseung gave you an offended look through his glasses, temporarily retreating the x-ray from your stomach.

“What? Am I being too rough? I can be gentle, I swear! Or was it my dad jokes?”

You wanted to tell him the truth, tell him that Sunghoon was a psychopath who’d kill anyone he deemed a potential threat to his love. Deep down, you had feelings for Heeseung, and the sooner you cut off contact with him, the better. Not wanting to be responsible for taking away his smile, you came up with an excuse.

“I don’t wanna make anyone jealous.”

“Jealous? Who, Mr. Park? I mean, your boyfriend?”

The word 'boyfriend' floated around in your mind. What a horrendous word to describe your relationship with Sunghoon. You could hardly get over the fact that he was your fiancé.

A look waved over your features that led Heeseung to believe guess was right.

"Well, I'll finish up the ultrasound and give you a dvd copy of the footage for you and Sunghoon to watch at home."

"Home." All of this was becoming too much for you to handle right now.

“I know what it's like to deal with a paranoid partner, ____. I won’t persuade you to follow anything but your first mind.”

“Thank you for understanding, Heeseung,” you said as he ran the camera over your stomach, the mirrored TV showing the blurry scan of your uterus. "I'm just doing my job," he smiled, analyzing the screen with a finger. “It’s a girl,” he pointed as you tried to discern the image.

Pushing himself from the metal bed, he removed his gloves, grabbing two large disinfectant wipes from his desk, one for your stomach, and the other for the x-ray camera.

“I’ll send Mr. Park the credentials and office number of your new health provider after I sort some things out with another professional. You should expect to receive the necessary information by tomorrow evening.”

You took in all that he said, almost feeling like you made the wrong decision. Doctor visits wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable without Heeseung being there. Getting up from the metal bed, you tossed your purse over your shoulder, looking him in the eyes.

“I’ll see you next time,” you smiled, heading to the door. That was all it took for him to know that you didn’t actually want to stop seeing him.

“Oh, and ____?”

You turned, a happy smile displayed upon his face. He was so close to perfect, you could cry.

“It would make me, your baby, and the entire clinical staff exceedingly happy if you went home and ate a steak. Doctors orders and what not.”

A moment of silence filled the air before you laughed at his request, feelings a sense of joy dance in your stomach. A joy that Sunghoon tried so desperately to take from you.

"Alright, Dr. Lee. I won't let you down!" You replied, closing his office door.

Fabulous, now you have a crush on your doctor while secretly engaged to a ex ghost face killer who’s daughter you’re carrying.

➠ friday, a few days later

10:47pm

This was Sunghoon's very first time at a bar, and likely one of his last. Cosmetically, the establishment was a fan favorite, reeling in patrons on a hook of visual appeal. The menu offered a plethora of exciting drinks, ranging from vibrant fruity flavors to warm and creamy mixes. Still and all, the dreary atmosphere of the pub beckoned costumers in, lugging them into a depressive state that would linger til their hangover passed. For the lot of them, the aforementioned events would be relived again and again every Friday night after working a 9-5 job. They'd wash all their problems away with the help of a pricy drink and a few catchy songs before completely blacking out. Though, Sunghoon wasn't here for a half-decent time and cheap conversation. He was on a mission that involved a crowded environment with zero sober witnesses, a sharp knife, and the perfect victim: Maddison Dupont.

She was beautiful to say the least, with a radiant smile and cheekbones like a movie star.

Sunghoon remembered Maddison's hair being longer from when he last saw her at Wonyoung's funeral, but she cut it to her shoulders some time after, putting her natural brunette waves on full display. She wore a black leather jacker, black leather pants, and well, black leather booties. Sunghoon being the psychology major he was, had a habit of profiling people based off their appearance and body language.

'She's attractive and tall, wearing high boots with a short haircut. She wants to come off as intimidating, powerful, hence the natural makeup look. The all black get up likely alludes to hidden negative emotions, the parts of herself she wants to hide,' Sunghoon noted to himself, analyzing her from afar.

"I'll have a gin and tonic cocktail, with light ice this time," she said to the bartender, feigning an entitled persona.

"Hopefully you don't plan on ordering me around like this after my shift, Mads. You know I’m usually more dominant with women," the bartender replied, flashing her a smirk.

"Usually, huh? Is that an invitation?" She teased, using her tongue to seductively toy with a plastic straw, earning a shrug from the busy server as he prepared her cocktail.

"Depends."

She scoffed dramatically.

"Pfft. Why?"

"Because. From the looks of it, you use teeth," he replied, eyeing the way she nibbled at the tip of the straw.

"Oh c'mon! Don't be so vanilla-"

Screech.

Sunghoon pulled out a bar stool beside the talkative brunette, dragging it across the hard floor before taking a seat.

The bartender slid Maddison her drink, wiping the moisture from his hands before meeting Sunghoon's dark eyes. "Fresh face. Welcome in! What can I get for you tonight, sir?"

"Uhh, I'll start with a sample of your best whiskey and go from there," Sunghoon replied, glancing at the server's name tag: 'JAY PARK.'

"Hmm, we have the same last name," Sunghoon added, putting on a smile that Jay returned.

Maddison looked up from her cocktail, finally facing the mystery man who sat beside her. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the sight of him before a light bulb went off in her head.

"Oh. My. God. If it isn’t Sunghoon-fucking-Park live and in the flesh. Please tell me you remember who I am," she pouted hopefully in her naturally raspy voice.

Maddison was always a fast talker, her friendly smile and youthful nature often winning her a sense of popularity and close companionship. It’s one of the main reasons why Sunghoon was here tonight. Despite Kazuha’s venomous tendencies, Maddison was the head “mean girl” back when Wonyoung was in high school. The primary instigator and initiator of every wrongdoing that his little sister endured up until her passing. For Sunghoon, letting Maddison live after everything that happened wasn’t an option. He decided to retire his ghost face attire after Kazuha, as it was only gonna get in the way of fulfilling his mission smoothly. After talking to a few of her colleagues, it was easy to determine Maddison’s precise whereabouts on a typical Friday night like this.

"Yeah, you went to high school with my sister. I could never forget that."

"I- I don't even know where to start! Uhm, you can call me Mads," she smiled, reaching out to shake his hand. Her breath hitched at the mere contact with his skin, sending a rush of nerves through her stomach. Or maybe it was the shots from earlier starting to kick in?

"Wow, I never thought you could get more handsome! It’s crazy how time flies, you know? Gosh, I used to have the biggest crush on you back then. Wonyoung hated me for it.”

I’m sure that wasn’t the only thing she hated you for, he thought to himself.

“Wait- I’m being rude! How've you been these days? It's been forever!"

Jay rolled his eyes at Maddison's gawking, his cheerful serving demeanor faltering in the presence of Sunghoon. It was barely two minutes ago that she was seducing Jay with a straw of all things, and now, the chances of him and her hanging out later were slim to none. He placed the bottle of whiskey back in its respective place on the alcohol shelf behind him, handing Sunghoon a short glass of the sample he'd ordered.

"I've been good, thanks for asking. College is kicking my ass at the moment, but there's this one girl who's been keeping me company. A sweet distraction, if you will."

He lifted the cup to his lips, taking a thick sip of the bronze drink before letting the flavors meddle on his tongue. It was an aromatic blend with notes of French vanilla, cinnamon, and hazelnut.

"What do you think," Jay asked, searching Sunghoon's features for any clue.

"It's delicious! I'll let you know if I need anything else."

"Of course," Jay bowed before busying himself with other costumers. That was better than watching Maddison ogle over Sunghoon Park for the next hour.

She noted that Sunghoon mentioned another girl, so she toned down her excitement.

"So, are you in school, too?"

"Nope. I forfeited all my scholarships after Max passed. I just didn't have the drive to do it anymore. Not without my twin," she paused, swallowing the lump in her throat before continuing.

"Now I work at a call center during the week and every Sunday, I volunteer as a tour guide for the city.”

Sunghoon simply nodded in response, the memory of murdering Max reliving itself behind his dark eyes. He wondered if Maddison's screams would sound anything like Max's did. They both had pretty big mouths, after all.

"I get where you're coming from. Sorry for your loss, Max was a good guy," Sunghoon said, forcing an empathetic expression upon his face.

"No worries, hun. We both know what its like to lose someone we shared the biggest part of ourselves with. The person we loved most," she replied, picking up her drink and holding it in the air. "A toast. To staying strong and treading on after all of life’s fucked up happenings," she added, showcasing her striking blue eyes.

"To surviving! Cheers," Sunghoon smiled, returning the gesture.

Clink.

Their glass cups collided, taking the final sip of their drinks in unison.

Sunghoon placed the empty glass on the countertop, tucking a one hundred dollar bill under the coaster before getting up from his seat.

"I'm gonna head outside for a bit," he said, walking toward the bar exit, disappearing into the black of the night.

Maddison placed a twenty under her drink, glancing at the exit before getting up from her seat.

Jay reached over the counter and grabbed her hand, eagerly trying to get her attention now.

She turned to face him, giving him an impatient look.

"Mads, you're not gonna go anywhere with him, are you?"

"Oh, please. Don't be so jealous-"

"I'm not being jealous. I’m looking out for you," Jay clarified, his voice sounding more serious.

"Just promise me you'll be careful."

"Jay."

"Promise me, Maddison!" Jay half-yelled in desperation.

She sighed, leaning over the bar and looking him I the eyes.

"I promise," she smiled softly, kissing the birthmark on his neck, causing his grip on her hand to loosen before completely letting go.

"And thank you, Jay. For everything! The cocktail was lovely," she added, giving him a playful high five.

“Any time, Maddie. See you around,” he replied, trying to mask the growing blush on his cheeks with coolness.

“See ya,” she waved, heading out of the bar to meet Sunghoon.

It didn't take long for her to spot him, standing beside his shiny black car. The sound of her boots hitting the damp pavement echoed through the parking lot, gracing Sunghoon’s keen ears.

Bingo.

"Nice car," she complimented, running a hand through her brown locks. Sunghoon didn't respond, simply unlocking the car and getting in the driver’s seat. His window's were rolled down, compelling Maddison to go against the very thing Jay just asked her not to do. Peering at him from where she stood, she placed her hands on her hips, voicing her request.

"Would it be too much if I asked you to take me on a joyride?"

11:19pm

Sunghoon was getting used to chauffeuring around naive young women after hours. He happily obliged to Maddison's foolish petition, as we both know he had other plans for her tonight.

“You’re not some kind of serial killer, right?” Maddison asked, about three minutes into the ride.

"Would you chicken out if I said yes?" Sunghoon teased her, gripping onto the steering wheel.

"You're cheeky."

"And you're playing a dangerous game with your life, young lady."

“Tell me about it,” Maddison replied nonchalantly, digging into her jacket pocket before pulling out a tiny cardboard box.

Click.

A warm light flickered beside him.

Click.

The sound of a hot flame against a dry object hit his ears.

Sunghoon finally looked away from the road to find that the source of the clicking was coming from the purple pocket lighter Maddison held in her hand, desperately trying to light a fresh cigarette.

“What the hell are you doing?” Sunghoon asked in disgust.

“Roll down a window or something,” she replied without meeting his eyes, inhaling the hot fog before blowing it past her plump lips.

“I don’t care if you wanna punish your lungs for keeping you alive everyday! Just don’t smoke in my fucking car!” Sunghoon reprimanded her through gritted teeth. He didn’t mean to raise his voice at her, but the anger was starting to override his composure.

“Has anyone ever told you how hot you get when you’re bossy?” Maddison joked, giving his tense thigh a playful squeeze.

Oh, the way Jay would cry just to hear her say that.

She stared out the window again, her thick brown waves following her movements.

“Would it kill you to respect my vehicle?”

All she did was snicker in response, a clicking noise filling the air as she toyed with purple pocket lighter once again.

She took a moment to yawn, reclining her jaw before answering. “Hmm. Probably not, but I don’t really care to find out, anyways.”

Click.

The tip of the cigarette burned red as she focused intensely on the simple action of lighting it.

Sunghoon looked from the road, eyes burning with rage as she put the cigar between her dry lips, inhaling yet another puff of toxins into her body.

Stretching her neck up, she blew the smelly cloud against the ceiling, staining the roof of his car and fogging out the windows.

He snatched the hot stick from her grasp, her head springing up immediately, eyeing him lustfully. “So we’re getting handsy now, I see. How would your girl feel about thi-“

Sunghoon shoved the red hot end of the cigar into her neck, sizzling her pale skin to a burnt hue.

“Ahh! You crazy bastard,” she yelped in shock, using her arm to push him away from her, but he had already parked somewhere in the forest, exiting the car with a harsh slam of his door.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going,” she yelled out for him, stammering from the vehicle with unstable steps.

She was way more drunk than she would’ve liked to admit, explaining her strange change in behavior.

By now, Sunghoon was walking into his log cabin, waiting patiently at the kitchen dining table for her to come out looking for him.

A kitchen knife sat idly on his lap as he gripped its handle in his right hand.

Maddison observed the cabin before running in, following the trail of dirt his shoes left behind him. Whipping around the kitchen corner, she spotted him at the table, laughing at a thought in her head. “Are you gonna declare a thumb war or something,” she cackled, not sure as to why Sunghoon ran to the kitchen of all places. She went to touch her neck, flinching at the sore he burned on her, reminding her why she chased after him in the first place. All he did was sit and stare at her, maintaining deadly eye contact. Maddison was far from intimidated, walking towards him with a dumb smirk on her face.

“You’re a freak, y’know that Sunghoon?” She spat, shaking her head again. “An empty-hearted spoiled freak!” She landed a harsh sting across his cheek, her own hand hurting from the act. Her chest heaved, trying to catch her breath from the minor exertion of energy. Her lack of sobriety was really taking a toll on her physically.

Screech.

Sunghoon pushed himself away from the table, standing up a few inches over her with the knife in his hand.

She simply glared at the weapon, chuckling to herself again.

“Is that supposed to scare me, little boy?”

He tilted his head at her ignorance, mirroring the smirk that rest upon her features. Playing with the tip of the knife, Sunghoon closed the space between her and him to the point where they were only a mere kiss apart.

“Hmm. Probably not, but I don’t really care to find out, anyways.”

The knife cut through her stomach like butter as she hurled over his hand, widening her eyes at the intense pain. He shoved the knife even further, causing a weak whimper to fall from her mouth. Guttural coughs filled the atmosphere as blood trickling down his hands from how closely the blade impaled her. Sunghoon pouted facetiously at how pathetic she appeared in front of him.

Releasing herself from the blade, she senselessly tried to run away. Though, Sunghoon could keep up with her hindered pace just by walking.

“Get the hell away from me!!” She screamed at the top of her lungs, the cigarette and lighter falling from her jacket pocket.

She made her way outside to the front porch, taking a seat against the closest tree she could get to before her strength ran out. Sunghoon soon met her outside, holding a jug of gasoline in one hand, and her purple lighter in the other.

She looked up from the puddle of blood she was creating on the grass, shaking her head in misery at the sight of this deranged Sunghoon.

“Please, don’t do this to me,” she sobbed, black tear marks from her eyeliner staining her cheeks.

Splash.

The pungent odor of the gasoline burned her nostrils as the cold substance leaked from her head to her lap.

“Oh my God,” she sniffled, squirming under his dark shadow.

Click.

“Speaking of, maybe God can roll down a window for you. Or… something,” he shrugged, tossing the lighter onto her lap as flames engulfed her entire body, the sounds and smells of death disturbing the tranquil forest air.

“Hmm, turns out her and Max do have the same screams.”

Maddison died within a few minutes, but her body continued to burn for the next hour or two. Sunghoon would eventually bury her corpse that morning once it cooled down, only to wash away the scent of smoke, blood, and any other trace of her for the remainder of his day. Afterwards, he would figure out what to do about his smoke show of a car.

What a lovely way to spend one’s weekend off.

➠ sunday

“I saw Maddison at the bar the other night.”

Your heart jumped at the name of your friend from high school. She went totally radio silent after her brother passed away. You remember her giving up sports and even college because of how broken she was after everything. You couldn't help but wonder how her life was turning out so far.

“Really?" You inquired eagerly. "What'd she say? How is she?”

“Dead,” he smiled sinisterly before sitting behind you, caging you between his long legs as he massaged your scalp.

You could feel your hands start to shake with a mix of different emotions, none of which being positive.

He really did it again.

“You said you wouldn’t kill anymore people.”

“She was the last person on my hit list, ____, and you know I have my reasons. Just be lucky that your relatives are still in the picture.”

You wouldn't put it past Sunghoon to hurt your family. He was a cold blooded killer and murder was like second nature to him.

“It’ll never stop with you. You'll never stop hurting people. You can't."

“Relax your mind, princess, stress isn’t good for the baby.”

“Neither is a deranged psycho killer for a father who keeps mommy locked up in a basement for days at a time, but what do I know? At least parent career day's at school will be interesting,” you thought to yourself.

Ahhh!

Sunghoon balled a handful of your hair in one fist at each side of your head, aggressively tugging at the strands.

You just realized that you said that out loud.

He pulled tighter as you held in your groans, forcing choked whines to spill from your lips.

“S- Sunghoon! Let go!” You whimpered, reaching for his feral grip on your hair with desperate hands.

He twitched in his pants at the agonizing sounds you made. He never understood why he found a terrorized you so arousing.

You felt your bottom lift from the ground before plopping back down with a loud thud, your scalp stinging with hot pain. Surely you had a few bald spots now.

“Massage time’s over,” Sunghoon growled before finally releasing his tantalizing grip from your hair, only for him to pin your wrists to the cold wooden floor. The look in his eyes was enough to have you scared shitless.

“I’ll show you just how deranged I am.”

He flipped you on your stomach, pulling your hips towards his bulge. Linking his fingers at the waistband of your underwear, he pulled your bottoms down to your knees, followed by his own.

He pried your legs open, revealing a string of wetness coating your swollen lips. He almost drooled at the sight, lining his tip at your throbbing hole before shoving himself in. He started to pump you from behind, squelching noises filling the rooms humid air. Tears started to pour over your eyelids, hitting the cold floor like raindrops. Sunghoon wanted to savor every ripple that made up your heat, but his desire to come caused him to thrust at an extreme pace, wobbly moans escaping your mouth. Your face was now flesh against the flood, his rough palm pushing into your cheek as you bounced against his pelvis, swallowing his cock. He leaned down, sticking the middle and index finger of his free hand into your mouth.

“Suck it,” he ordered, and you did, parting your mouth for him as your warm saliva coated his fingers. “Harder than that, princess,” he encouraged you, tightening your lips around his digits. You were started to feel dizzy from all the different sensations.

“Fuck” he grunted, flipping you on your back before pumping into you again at the same pace. He traced a tear that fell down your cheek with his tongue, leaning closer to whisper in your ear.

“Kiss me,” he nearly begged, grabbing at your jaw. You shook your head beneath him, pleading with your eyes for all of this to stop.

Slap.

You winced at the sting, a choked sob slipping past your lips. He forced your lips open with his hand, spitting in your mouth before dominating your tongue with his own, a string of saliva webbing from your lips to his as he broke from the sloppy kiss. You whimpered at his act, vision becoming blurry from the tears clouding your eyes. You reached up a hand to cover your sobs, the sounds being too gruesome even for your own ears.

“Don’t be shy, baby, I wanna hear how badly you want this, how good I’m making you feel.”

Your started to feel numb from all of his thrusting, regretfully clenching around him.

“So fucking good, baby,” he cooed, moving his hand down to stimulate your throbbing clit. He maneuvered the pallets of his fingers in circular motions against your sensitive spot, causing you to moan loudly.

“Look at you? Losing your mind all over my cock,” he leaned down, biting into your shoulder. “Come for me, yeah?”

You cried at the sharpness, arching your back. He was beyond delusional.

“That’s not an answer, baby.”

“F- fuck, Sunghoon, I can't t-take this anymore, just shut up” you whimpered, tears wetting the back of your head.

He held your knees at an angle, grinding into you like his life depended on it. You could tell that he was close because of how his thrusts quickened. You dreaded that you could feel your own climax taking over you, as your body tensed up before you came all over his dick. Shortly after, he painted your walls with warm spurts of his pearly release. Slowing down his movements, he ran his palms over your legs, trying to ease your shaking from the overstimulation. He kissed your lips one last time before pulling out, readjusting your clothes first before fixing his own. He lay down beside you, cradling your exhausted body in his arms before drifting off to sleep.

➠ tuesday

You’ve been living with Sunghoon for the past three months, and he was never one to feed you according to nutritional values. You weren’t sure if it was a part of punishment or simply a lack of consideration, but your daily diet was limited to canned foods or broth. So when you told Sunghoon that Dr. Lee advised you to incorporate more steak into your diet, he wasn’t too fond of listening.

Instead, he’d get dressed in hunting apparel, losing himself for the next hour before bringing you a slab of mystery meat that he wouldn’t even eat with you. He’d just rest it on your plate with a drizzle of olive oil, and tell you to ‘eat up.’

“I appreciate your gesture, Sunghoon, but I can’t help to ask what you killed for this?”

Sometimes, talking to him was like walking on egg shells. He always wore the same blank face, so you never knew if your words would earn you a harsh slap or kiss on the lips. You tried your best to season every sentence you spoke to him with propriety and respect. It was one of the only ways you knew to protect yourself.

He’d conceal the growing mischief that wanted to show as a smile on his face, simply pacing around the kitchen with his hands behind his back.

“Only the forest’s finest for my mother with child,” he teased.

“Sunghoon,” you pressed, not being in the mood for his sarcasm.

“I’ll tell you once you finish it. All of it. Now hurry before it gets cold,” he warned, taking a seat across from you.

The kitchen fell silent as you used a fork and knife to divide the meat into small bites. The taste was gamey, and rather tough in texture, but you commended Sunghoon on seasoning it well.

He stared intently at your every movement as if anticipating something.

You were about half way done when he stood up from the table, walking towards the kitchen pantry.

Sunghoon grinned to himself, reaching his arm into the closet and pulling out a female’s dead body from behind the door.

“She’s a little past her expiration date, but I’m sure she tasted splendid nonetheless,” he quirked, flashing you a grin so devilish that his fangs showed.

You looked down at your plate and noticed a strand of wavy brown hair sticking from under the meat.

Oh my God.

“Maybe we could start selling “prime Maddison” at the market! Talk about a limited time offer!” Sunghoon laughed as if their was an audience. Meanwhile you were on the verge of vomitting.

Sunghoon was gripping Maddison’s corpse by a handful of her hair, a few of her once beautiful teeth missing from her swollen black gums. He punched her skull in the face, using the hair as a way to maneuver his newfound punching bag, chunks of decay flying from his knuckles. You assumed he got bored of that as he dropped her body, walking over to the windowsill before picking up a steaming pot.

“Bone appétit,” he chimed, pouring the contents of the hot pot into a small bowl for you. Human teeth were swimming in the mixture, with what appeared to be a few toes in there, too.

“Eat it!” Sunghoon ordered, beating on the table with death stained fists. Tears poured from your eyes like waterfalls as he screamed his lungs out, spit flying from his agressive commands.

Growing impatient, he walked around the table, grabbing you by the throat.

“I said eat it, you stupid bitch!”

You woke up heaving for air, your clothes clinging to your body from your night sweats. You looked around, but the room was so dark that you couldn’t see anything. “Sunghoon!” You called out for him, but to no avail. You were completely alone in the basement, like you always were, but a part of you desired comforting so desperately. You wanted him to hold you close and make you feel safe.

Though, it’s hard to feel safe in the arms of someone you’re deathly afraid of.

You felt the urge to cry creeping up on you, but you decided to lay back down instead, wincing as your sore scalp sunk into the pillow.

Thankfully, this was all just a very bad dream.

꒷꒦ 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐨…

Sunghoon and his figure skating group wanted to take a camping trip during their break from training. The team coach promised to finance the rest of the trip if they raised $300 organically by the following week. Wonyoung offered to help by hosting a bake sale at her school. With her free-time after class, she visited the library in search for a French patisserie recipe book. Meanwhile, Sunghoon was at the grocery store, shopping for fresh fruit, overly expensive dark chocolate, and whatever other ingredients his sister outlined on the list. She paced through the book shelves, noticing a group of jocks huddled around a table. Tuning in an ear, she eavesdropped on their conversation, continuing to analyze the book catalogs.

“Bro, I think he got her pregnant,” she heard one of the boys whisper, stopping her dead in her tracks.

“I don’t even believe he’s slept with her before,” another guy added.

“Mhm, and why’s that?”

“First of all, Sunghoon would kill him, second of all, she’s a literal child.”

“Shit, I’d sleep with her in a heartbeat. Child or not, we can do it at the playground if that makes her more comfortable," Maddison's twin brother grinned slyly.

“Gross, Max, she’s like your cousin's age."

“Jun-Hwan said something about Wonyoung practicing her moans for him?”

“Yeah, probably while he was pumping her with his baby batter. I hope she knows that’s not how you make cupcakes.”

The boys burst into laughter, earning an aggravated look from one of the librarians.

“Sorry,” Max mouthed quietly.

“Yeah, you’re gonna be. I bet Sunghoon’s already writing you punks down on his “do not admit” list,” the one with glasses retorted, getting up from the table before leaving the obnoxious group.

Wonyoung was still listening from behind the book shelf, swallowing the lump in her throat that dared to flatten into tears. She tried reminding herself of what Sunghoon would tell her everyday.

“Ignore the rumors, don’t let them take away your smile, Wonyo.”

Though, these words sat in the back of her mind as she made her way over to the jocks table, unintentionally balling her fists.

“Who told you that?” She inquired with a clenched jaw, interrupting their perverted gossip session. They looked as if they’d seen a ghost at the sight of her, completely speechless as they simply stared back. “W-what are you talking about?”

“Oh my God, just spit it out!” She yelled, not trying to keep her voice down anymore.

“Jun-Hwan did,” one of them shyly admitted, not meeting her face out of shame.

Wonyoung went to find Jun-Hwan, hoping that he would deny sharing things about her and their breakup behind her back. She knew exactly where to find her ex-boyfriend after school. It was the same place they'd usually meet to fool around: an abandoned bunker near the bleachers because Jun-Hwan hated anything too cliché.

She crawled into the bunker, finding Jun-Hwan with his tongue down some girls throat. Wonyoung didn't recognize her, but from the looks of it, she was around her age. The horny youths disconnected their lips with a wet pop at the realization of Wonyoungs presence. The girl hid her face in Jun-Hwan's shoulder while he met Wonyoung's anxious features.

“Is it true?”

“Is what true, Wonnie?”

“That you told people about us? About me?”

“God, would you slow down with all the questions? I was kind of in the middle of something here," he spat, pointing a hand at the girl who straddled him.

“Please don’t make me ask you again, Jun.”

He let out an annoyed sigh, “Okay. Fine. Yes. I told people. I don’t get why you have a problem with that, though.”

“Jun, I asked you not to tell anyone about us.”

“Yeah, when we were together. But you wanted to break up, remember?”

“You know that decision wasn’t up to me. Why’re you being so cruel all of a sudden? You could at least pretend to care about my feelings.”

“Hey, Wonyoung? Fuck off, alright? I don’t have time for your juvenile high school bullshit. Now go finish making fruit tarts with your brother or something.”

The saddened girl adjusted the backpack strap over her shoulder, wiping away the moisture that fought to escape her eyes.

“Okay,” Wonyoung whispered. “I’ll see you around, Jun-Hwan. Sorry for bothering you.” She sniffled one last time before crawling out of the bunker and beelining back home.

➠ wednesday, present

9:04am

Sunghoon dropped you off at the hospital for another check-up right before class. He gave you $50 in bills of five to last you til he came back. Still shaken from last night's events, it took you ten minutes just to work up the courage to sign-in for your appointment with Dr. Lee.

"Right this way, Miss ____. Feel free to wait in the visitor's lounge until Dr. Lee gets back. It's rare that any of our patients have visitors, so you should feel more comfortable there," the friendly nurse smiled, completely aware of your fragile emotional state. You took heed to the nurse's advice, entering the visitors lounge before taking a seat at one of the tables. You were thankful for the dim lightening of the empty space as you felt an intense panic frazzle your senses. Holding your own hands in an attempt to comfort yourself, you tried redirecting your attention on controlling your breaths. Looking down, you noticed the darkening bruises on your wrists from Sunghoon's abuse, pulling down your sleeves to cover the marks.

"____?" A concerned voice called from behind you, resting a hand on your shoulder. Your body jumped at the feeling, immediately relaxing as you turned to meet Heeseung.

You were unaware of your own tears streaming down your cheeks until Heeseung reached out to capture the droplets with the back of his hand. That's when he noticed the scuffs on your cheek from Sunghoon forcing your face into the floor, dried-up blood poking through your exposed scalp.

"Oh my God, what happened to you?" He asked, kneeling down to meet your height in the chair.

Your lips quivered into a frown as you shook your head frantically, shutting your eyes tightly at the memory:

“I’ll show you just how deranged I am.”

Before you could realize it, Heeseung was already holding you in his arms as you wailed into his shoulder. He ran a hand down your back, trying to soothe your nerves.

"Sunghoon... h-he's a monster," you confessed, telling Heeseung everything in your moment of weakness. You told him about Wonyoung, Kazuha, and Maddison. You told him about the log cabin and the things Sunghoon did to you in private. You couldn't keep hiding your pain anymore.

“____," he began with a sorrowful expression, breaking from the hug, "it’s not too late to get rid of the baby.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in frustration, “Why the hell would you even suggest that? I have to keep her! She's my child!”

“He assaulted you, ____, and your child will have to live everyday of her life knowing that. I won't persuade you into making a decision, but either way, I will do everything in my ability to get you the help you need.”

Your gaze fell to the ground as you tried to process all of your options.

"Hey," Heeseung said, grabbing your chin to meet his face again.

"I need you to listen to me when I say that I can't just let you go. Not with Sunghoon, and not without a fight."

You stared into Heeseung's glistening eyes, kissing him in the heat of your emotions. He pulled back, looking at your desperate features before diving back in, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. You used your weight to pin him on the ground, melting into his honey-like touch as he explored your nervous skin.

Something about this moment felt different from the dark affection you'd grown used to from Sunghoon.

Heeseung felt light, energizing your entire body from the outside in. His body was warm and smelled like lilac, a new yet welcoming scent. Snaking a hand under your shirt, he fondled with your breasts as you trailed your own hand down to his bulge, palming him gently. He moaned into your mouth before you broke from the kiss, already missing the heat of his tongue against yours.

Looking down at his frame, you took in his disheveled hair, wrinkled shirt, and flushed cheeks. Retreating your hand from his hardness, you were reminded of the silver band that rested upon your ring finger.

"What is it," Heeseung asked, still trying to steady his breathing.

"I... it's...," you stuttered in a quiet voice, "Sunghoon and I are engaged.” An empty feeling washed over you at the unfortunate reality.

“Y-you...what?”

“He asked me to marry him last week, and...I said yes.”

Your confession meddled in the air for a moment, before Heeseung swore to himself, guiding you off of his lap.

“Forgive me, ____. I should've listened when you said we should stop seeing each other,” he frowned, considering how unprofessional his actions were.

Standing up from the ground, he offered a hand to lift you from the floor.

"This isn't your fault, Heeseung," you said, fixing your tussled clothes.

"None of that matters, right now, love," he replied, readjusting the collar of his shirt. "You need to figure out what you want to do about your circumstances and quick. Before it's too late."

➠ three days later, thursday

9:47pm

Sunghoon came back to the cabin later than usual. Unlocking the basement door, he broke through the staleness, hanging his jacket over one of the chairs.

“Where’ve you been?” You inquired tepidly, tucking away the origami deer you were folding into the psychology book that supplied the paper you used.

“It’s Wonyo’s birthday today, so I visited her grave on my way back," he said, walking over to meet you on the bed. "I forgot to ask the other day. How was the doctor?”

“Fine," you simply replied.

Sunghoon shook his head in disappointment before snapping like a rubber band, pulling you from the bed and pushing you against the wall.

“Remember, ____, this isn’t a get out of hell free card just because you’re carrying my child,” he hissed in between your squirms, “I will not hesitate to kill the both of you if you continue to disrespect me.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” You raised your voice at him, struggling in his grip.

“You didn’t think I’d find out about you sliding second base with the cute older doctor? Huh?” He asked rhetorically, gripping at the neck of your nightgown and shaking you like a rag doll.

“Sunghoon, stop it!” You yelled this time, earning yourself a harsh slap across the face. You felt one of your teeth puncture your upper-lip from the force, a metallic taste filling your mouth.

“What’d you tell him? And don’t you dare fucking lie to me!”

Your eyes screwed shut in fear at the intensity of the situation.

Why did things always have to escalate to such extremes with him?

“TELL ME EVERYTHING!” He growled impatiently, grabbing you by the throat with veiny hands.

“The baby’s dead!”

Silence.

His grip around your neck loosened before tightening again, “Bullshit, you fucking whore!”

“I’m serious, Sunghoon,” your voice cracked, eyes burning red from the brief loss of air.

He stopped his ministrations, searching your face for any uncertainty, any clue that you were lying.

“Th-that can’t be true, ____,” he could hardly meet your eyes.

“We lost her, Sunghoon. She’s gone.”

“For the sake of my sanity, tell me you’re lying! Tell me this is all apart of your plan to escape me.”

“I’m not like you, Sunghoon."

“What're you saying,” he asked, legs feeling numb from the pure dread that tainted his blood.

“I’d never lie to you.”

He fell at his knees, pulling you down by the shoulders with him. Cradling you in his arms, he guided your head to his chest, weeping into your embrace. This was your first time seeing Sunghoon cry, his dark eyelashes soaked with tears, pouty lips falling victim to an acute trembling. If it wasn’t for his agressive heartbeat, you would’ve thought he was dying from the sounds he made. Though, to be honest, it’s like apart of him did die.

“This world just won’t let me have anything at all, will it?”

➠ friday

6:05am

“____? ____, wake up!” Sunghoon nudged your sleepy frame excitedly.

“What, what is it?” You answered with a groggy voice.

“I made you breakfast.” He said, handing you a banana.

You ignored the 'breakfast' he held in his hand, “Why?”

“I wanna go somewhere.”

“What’re you talking about? I’m stuck here, remember?”

“Just eat up so you can get dressed.”

All of this excitement was too much for you process so early in the morning. “Sunghoon, just tell me all of this is about.”

He took your hands in his, smiling wide enough for his dimples to show. “I’ll tell you after you eat and get dressed. I promise.”

You sighed. “Okay.”

Why was he acting nice all of a sudden?

7:10am

Sunghoon took you to a familiar looking spot in the woods, about forty-five minutes from his log cabin. By now, you had gotten used to being Sunghoon’s passenger princess, but you didn’t understand his reasons for wanting to take you somewhere. He parked his infamous black car along a brick trail, cutting the engine before exiting the vehicle.

“Follow me,” he smiled, leading you to a lover's picnic area. A large white sheet rested on the ground, grassy rocks holding down each corner. There was a woven basket with a bottle of wine and a few pieces of bread wrapped in knitted cloths. “Come. Sit!” He urged as you met him on the picnic mat. The sounds of morning wind rustling through tree leaves filled the air as you observed your surroundings.

“Okay, Sunghoon. I ate the monkey fuel, got dressed, and now we're here. Why?”

He chuckled at your odd sense of humor, closing the distance between you on the sheet.

“Look. I know this may sound crazy, but… I wanna try again.”

You wished you misheard him, feeing you heart skip a beat at his suggestion. “Excuse me?”

“I’m talking about a baby, ____. I want another chance.“

“Sunghoon-”

He interrupted your sentence by cupping your face in his hands. “I gave you a choice with the marriage, but this time I’m telling you.” His smile faltered into a dour expression, a greedy hand traveling up to the base of your thigh.

“I want this from you, and you’re going to give it to me.”

A nauseous sensation hit your stomach, feeling disgusted by his chronic insanity.

Grabbing a fist full of dirt, you stunned him in the eyes before taking off in the distance. At this point, you were quite seriously running for your life, a natural adrenaline carrying you across the rocky path at an intense speed.

“____!” Sunghoon called out, dusting the dirt from his eyes before chasing after you.

Your feet and heart pounded in unison with the same vigorous effort, ignoring the voice that told you to look back. You thought to hide somewhere and catch your breath, but you knew had to keep running.

You had to survive.

Following the same path that Sunghoon took to get you there, the sight of civilization encouraged you just enough to run for a few more minutes.

That’s when you spotted a red car parked near the public garden you passed on the way. You couldn’t run any longer or else your legs would give out of you, so you hid behind the seemingly vacant vehicle, only to hear the sounds of slow footsteps approaching you.

You shut your eyes, repeating a prayer to yourself over and over again.

“____," a familiar voice called out, "what’re you doing by my car? I-is everything alright?”

“Heeseung!" You yelped, jumping from your initial crouching position and subconsciously clinging to him. "You have to help me!"

“Hey, relax, alright,” he cooed, bracing your lack of balance with his hands.

“It’s Sunghoon,” you forced out in between heavy breaths, chunks of sweaty hair sticking to your forehead. “He wants another baby, and now he’s after me.”

Heeseung wasted no more time speaking before unlocking his car and hiding you on the backseat floor, getting in the driver’s seat himself.

That’s when Sunghoon came running out of the thick of the woods, still calling after you like a madman.

Observing the public garden, he rationalized with himself that you couldn’t have gotten too far beyond this area. From the outside, he appeared to have barley even broken a sweat, but his core burned with a bloodthirsty hellfire.

Narrowing his eyes, Sunghoon spotted Heeseung sitting idly in the red vehicle, parked with the window slightly rolled down.

“Hello, Mr. Park. Taking an evening jog?” Heeseung called casually at the sight of Sunghoon, trying to mask any obvious suspicion.

“More or less. It’s great to see you, Dr. Lee! How’ve you been?” Sunghoon inquired, feigning consideration.

“Good, thankfully. Though, I have work at the clinic today, so I should really get going,” he replied, rolling up the window before Sunghoon hit the tinted glass.

“Wait!” He pleaded, his inner emotions now reflecting on his sullen features.

Heeseung sighed dramatically, trying to convey urgency. “I’m really in a hurry here, Mr. Park, and I can’t risk being late.”

“Just tell me the truth,” Sunghoon tried.

“Did ____ actually lose the baby?”

Heeseung fell quiet for longer than Sunghoon appreciated, but he waited patiently for an answer. The kind-hearted man took his glasses off, folding them in half before setting them in the empty passengers seat. He met Sunghoon’s weakened eyes, feeling compelled to answer him honestly.

“____ didn’t lose the baby, Mr Park. She had an abortion.”

Pop.

The single thread holding back Sunghoon’s rage broke at the confession, lashing out in a kicking tantrum against Heeseung’s car. He wanted so desperately to see the crimson exterior dent from the force, but his depleting strength failed him. You could feel a new force pulsing from the front of the vehicle, rocking your body against the backseat floor. With balled fists, Sunghoon smashed the hood of Heeseung’s car, a string of curse words flying from his mouth like venomous wasps.

Heeseung fired the ignition, gripping his hands on the steering wheel. “Move out of the fucking way!” He warned, honking the horn a few times to scare him, but Sunghoon was hardly phased. He pulled out a gun, pointing it at Heeseung’s head from the behind the windshield, “Get the fuck out of the car. NOW!”

Heeseung was left with no other choice but to obey, abandoning the vehicle and getting on his knees before him.

“Do you have any idea how many people I’ve killed before? I’m sure ____ told you all about it, didn’t she?” Sunghoon asked, pacing back and forth. “The only thing is, I’ve never murdered anyone with a gun before,” he smirked sinisterly, imagining the way Heeseung’s eye balls would burst from their sockets as the bullet penetrated his skull. The frightened doctor kept quiet, afraid that saying the wrong thing or anything at all might shorten his life. Sunghoon fiddled with the tip of the weapon, “You deserve this, anyway. Slutting it up with my fiancé, taking away my child, and daring to look me in the face with that phony fucking smile.”

Screech.

You hopped in the front seat of Heeseung’s car, putting it in reverse before making eye contact with Sunghoon, hitting him straight on.

Crash.

You weren’t sure if Sunghoon’s limp body was underneath or in front of the car, but the sight of Heeseung kicking the deadly weapon a few feet away let you know that everything was gonna be alright.

You ran to hug him out of relief, several emotions taking over you. The once uproarious atmosphere fell quiet, as neither of you could think of anything to say. And frankly, there wasn’t much left to say, anyway.

The ten minutes that passed by felt like hours before the ambulance arrived at the scene, police investigator’s barricading the park with yellow tape. Upon retrieving Sunghoon’s body, the emergency team announced him to be in a state of deep unconsciousness from the collision: a coma. You were granted special visitor privileges because you were his fiancé, but you couldn’t have cared less to stay informed on the status of his well-being. The idea of him being incapable of eating on his own or even speaking for the next weeks or few months granted you an indescribable feeling of light.

Though, this was far from your story’s end.

➠ monday, two months later…

You tried to live a normal life after everything that happened. Giving up on your college dream, you picked up work at a cafe until you got used to normal again. You and Heeseung remained close friends, as the two of you shared a pretty dark part of your lives together. He also helped you overcome the nightmares you suffered from.

It went without saying that Sunghoon passed away. The part of you that still cared about him even brought flowers to his grave, but you never attended his funeral. Honestly, you doubt that anyone even arranged one for him.

Time went on, and you fell in love with your new life, still carrying scars with you that not only reminded you of a painful journey, but one that you survived.

Ding.

That was the sound of the bakery’s entry bell, letting you know that a costumer had just walked in. “Welcome to Café Royale,” you announced cheerfully out of habit, wiping crumbs from the front counter before meeting the fresh face at the register. The man stood tall with silky platinum hair, stunning eyebrows, and a killer jawline.

“Hello! How may I treat you today, sir?”

“Hmm, I’ll have an iced vanilla latte, with a sample of your classic tiramisu, if you don’t mind,” he smiled, flashing his pointy fangs.

“Of course! That’ll be 3.95, please,” you said, taking the five dollar bill he handed you. One of your employees whipped up his order in the back, passing it to you in less than a minute. You placed the plastic cup of coffee and tiramisu sample on a wooden tray, handing it to the charming costumer.

“Enjoy,” you chirped with a smile, ignoring the rush of butterflies that ran through your stomach.

“Thank you,” he replied, taking the platter and walking off. You watched as his footsteps come to a halt, turning on a heel before meeting you at the counter again.

“Do I…” he began, titling his head to take in your profile, “have we met before?”

❅ Thank you for reading @chlorinecake ‘s “Blood On Ice” Part 2! Make sure to check out more fun reads on my enhypen bookshelf!

❅ You can read part one of this series here!! 🎂

✎ ᴀ/ɴ: in no way, shape, or form does this fanfic intend to romanticize unhealthy relationships or abusive behaviors. i simply write for entertainment and creative purposes. thus, reader discretion is always advised.

taglist: @ashgonedash @nikilvr @ttokyoobv @yourmomscuntis2tighy @fightqueen @addictedtohobi @sltfohoon @lisaaannna @beomgyusonlywife @casualcloddeputyherring @calichuchies-blog @devqrasgirl @rhiannass @fanficfactoryfoxxx @lovelycassy

[soap-ify]

GLADIOLUS | simon 'ghost' riley x reader

cw — angst, heavy suicidal tendencies, simon is NOT okay, he is depressed, mentions of death, hurt/no comfort but there's comfort too if that makes sense, bittersweet ending. [1.4k]

italic paragraphs mean flashback!

Cold and stale, the tea in Simon’s hand had long lost its heat. Almost like a cruel mockery of his own life, slowly losing the warmth that made him a human, reducing him to nothing but a breathing corpse.

A waste.

“I think my life’s too short for our love.”

His words caused you to look at him with confusion, trying to mask the inner turmoil brewing in your head at his sickeningly vague words.

“Sorry?” Though you had heard him well, you still wanted him to repeat it, to hear his voice once more.

Simon sighed and put the tea cup aside, having no energy left within him to drink anything, or even do anything. Trapped by the chains he couldn’t see, maybe just simply forged by his own brain. Brown irises soon looked over at you, still holding the same fondness as all the other times.

“I…” He paused momentarily, the thoughts in his head too loud yet distant. “My life. S’too short to love you properly in the way you deserve.”

“Don’t say that, Si. It’s more than enough.” You smiled and placed a gentle, comforting hand on his shoulder. Your words were like a sweet lullaby, calming him a bit. A bit.

So he stayed quiet and nodded, pretending that he was fine now, letting you stay in this false bubble he had made up for you both — tranquil and domestic. A paradox to his actual life.

Simon had been overly fascinated by knives lately. Even guns. Not by their beauty, but by the damage they could inflict. He’d let his gloved thumb caress the sharp edge of his knife sometimes, wondering what it’d be like to just stab it into his neck at this very moment.

Some poor unfortunate soldier would find him lying in his own blood, completely oblivious to how contentful he’d be.

Other times, Simon would fiddle with one of his guns, awful intrusive thoughts invading his head, making him feel overly sick. What if he just presses the barrel against his forehead, his finger on the trigger. One click and he’d be gone for good.

Was it selfish to want to die? Simon couldn’t even point out why he feels this way, or since when. All he knows is that nothing helps anymore. Well, you do, sometimes. Though he’d rather have you not see this damaged man rotting himself away more and more. He loves you too much for that.

Was it really selfish to want to die? All he wanted was to leave behind everything, leave behind the blood on his hands and the deaths he had seen, leave behind the memories and just fly away, finally free from the chains suffocating him.

He wanted to become the air, and you’d be his sunlight then — both of you dancing around each other everyday, together once again.

Maybe he could be better for you that way.

“Si.” You poked Simon’s arm, momentarily interrupting his quiet reading. Not that he minded though.

“Yeah?”

“I want to ask you something.” The mild shyness adorning your face sparked his curiousity, causing him to put his book aside and turn all of his attention onto you.

“Go on.” He urged softly.

“Um… Do you think we’d be together in every universe?” You felt silly for asking a question like that, blood rushing to your cheeks while your eyes looked away.

Simon paused for a second, brown eyes softening up as he studied your expression. Together in every universe? God, he’d do anything for that. Anything to love you in every life of his.

“Yeah.” He grumbled softly after a while, a poor attempt to appear nonchalant, though it failed as soon as you hugged his arm happily, making him chuckle under his breath.

“I’ll find you in every universe.”

Gladiolus. It’s a pretty flower, though Simon doesn’t like it just for its beauty. He feels oddly connected to it, uncomfortably exposed — even though he didn’t know why. Could flowers even speak to you?

Which is why he decided not to pick them, turning away to look at some other options. It was his little routine to bring you flowers whenever he could. Though this time, it was different.

A mission — a suicide mission. He was dreading the moment he would have to announce it to you, knowing that he couldn’t back out from it anymore. That was his job. All the dirty stuff.

It was hard, too hard. Watching you collapse in his arms while sobbing in pure devastation absolutely tore his heart, his arms holding you tightly while your fingers hardly dug into his arms, trying to touch him whole.

“M’sorry, love. It was just… supposed to happen one day.”

He couldn’t really recognise the words coming out of his mouth anymore, not really knowing what to say. He couldn’t give you false promises, especially when you both knew the severity of this situation.

Laying on the ground, drenched in blood, wasn’t that bad. He felt a sickening relief that made him feel nauseous yet happy at the same time. His hand was pressed against the severe bleeding wound on his stomach, fatal coughs leaving his mouth while he weakly stared at the sky, the sounds of shouts and gunshots too distant and blurry. It was as if he was slowly slipping away into a bubble that carried him away from this battleground and into somewhere calmer.

At least I didn’t kill myself with that damn gun, he thought to himself, smiling weakly. At least there wouldn’t be any nightmare anymore, no more sleepless nights and random outbursts. Peace. The beauty of death slowly engulfed him, wrapping her arms around him and slowly taking him away from this damned life.

You. He lost consciousness thinking about you — about how he left you back at home, about how he wasn’t strong enough to just retire from the military once you moved into his place.

I’m sorry, words he could desperately say, I’m sorry for not being strong for you.

Though right before dying, he made an oath to himself that if there was even a tiny chance of him living another life after this, he’d find you.

It was another one of those sunny days where you wished you had enough funds to fix the damn air conditioner. Your fingers silently put the last gladiolus into the bouquet one of the old ladies around the town had requested, the sweet scent of flowers soothing your senses.

The soft jingle of the door opening averted your gaze from the bouquet, your eyes falling onto your new customer walking into the flower shop. The sheer size of this mine caught you off guard, though you were quick to scold yourself for being so invested into someone’s height.

“Welcome. How can I help you?” You smiled politely and put the bouquet aside. Once those brown eyes of his met yours, both of you went dead silent for a split second, a strange spark igniting somewhere in between you.

He seemed… familiar. You were sure that you haven't seen him ever in your life, but something about him made you feel as if you knew him. Your fingers twitch involuntarily, feeling as if they had run through those dirty blonde hair off his.

He stared at you with, internally equally bewildered. His lips were slightly agape behind the black surgical mask he wore, for which he was glad for since you couldn’t see the soft shade of red slowly spreading on his cheeks. Why were you so familiar? He felt an odd pang in his chest, making him momentarily forget about why he was even here.

Oh yes, flowers.

“Can I have some roses?” He grumbled under his breath, quickly looking away as he reached for his wallet. “S’my mom’s birthday today.”

“That’s sweet. Happy birthday to her.” You looked away alongside him, a soft bashful smile creeping up on your lips as you began grabbing some newly fresh roses.

It was silent for a while between you both before he eventually broke the thickening silence, clearing his throat, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

“Thanks. Um… My name’s Simon, by the way.” God, he was awkward at this.

You stared at him for a second before letting out a soft giggle, introducing yourself. “Here are your flowers, Simon.”

He felt as if he had been searching for you his whole life.

[angeart]

Hunted Hybrids AU [hhau] Masterpost

compiled all the au rambles and other important bits for better organisation. ---

a survival story and a love story. a story of despair and hope.

---

hunted hybrids au [hhau] is a scarian au that i share with @linkito - it’s self indulgent and rp-born, although there might be some drabbles and ficlets coming out of it (because we’re obsessed). 

the basic premise is that scar and grian got transported to and stuck in a permadeath world that’s actively cruel and dangerous to hybrids. the nature itself is set against them, providing next to no resources, and the weather keeps getting colder and colder. 

as an avian and a vex, they get relentlessly hunted—and getting caught means death. as they struggle to stay alive, they only have each other left. (desperately, they wish it could be enough.) 

they have no idea what happened to hermitcraft, or if their other friends are even alive, but they barely have time to think about that amidst the cold and the hunger, the fear and the pain. days stretch into months, and their hope of ever returning anywhere akin to home dwindles. (but maybe they can put together a different makeshift hope: a feeble little thought of maybe one day managing to get far away enough that nobody will follow anymore; maybe one day they could make a new home, or the closest thing to it they can manage. maybe this nightmare can have an end, if only they hold onto each other and keep going.)  

---

au cws: violence, blood, injuries, dehumanisation of hybrids, self harm (feather plucking), mentions of suicidal ideation, self-destructive tendencies, arson (just a bit), victim blaming, character death (?), animal death, grief, self worth issues, panic attacks, trauma responses, abandonment issues, separation anxiety

---

--- RAMBLES, ART, ETC ---

au introduction ramble - here

about the ribbon - here

about scar’s wings and vex magic - here

wanted posters - here

---

refecences:

grian design/reference - here & here

scar design/reference - here

scar timelapse face/hair/earring reference: here

---

other bits, snippets, and asks:

what happened to scar’s wings - here

can scar's wings heal? - here

the spear incident (feral scar) - here

feather earring + what happened to scar's ear - here

scar's journal - [to be posted]

scar and cub's bond (including post-rescue mentions) - here

---

he remembers the mornings when he woke up pressed against Scar [snippet] - here

you need to go / please don't leave [snippet + art] - here

hurting and feverish in a cave [snippets... multiple] - here

grian feels broken, in some horrible, unfixable way (and scar deserves better) [snippet] - here

---

will i find my home, my home, my home in you? - confession/first kiss [RP/FIC] - here (AO3)

---

MIMIC ARC:

PART I - MIMIC

part I main rambles - here

part I bonus: the ribbon incident [FIC] - [to be posted]

part I bonus: campfire closeness [art] - here

part I bonus: learning about different, kinder worlds - here

part I bonus: mimic's name - here

PART II - REUNION

part II main rambles - here

part II bonus: scar's magic extertion - here

part II bonus: scar calling out for grian [art] - here

part II bonus: reunion embrace [art] - here

PART III - AFTERMATH

part III main rambles - here

part III bonus: hunted - here

part III bonus: the eclipse - here

part III bonus: mimic, alone - here

PART IV - THE IN-BETWEEN

part IV main rambles: hot spring bath - here the wing spiral - here make the danger feel good - here love and other gifts - [to be posted] hopewards - [to be posted]

part IV bonus: the red haze - [to be posted]

PART V - [REDACTED]

part V main rambles - [to be posted]

---

VEX arc:

PART I - COMMUNE

part I main rambles - [to be posted]

part I bonus: about the characters [art included] - here

part I bonus: about nadia - here

part I bonus: about kane and grian (the bird incident, misunderstandings, learning, and flock) - here

part I bonus: scar's vex instincts - here

part I bonus: learning about mating marks - here

part I bonus: learning about mating marks [mini comic] - here

part I bonus: mating marks, vexes, and not being enough - here

part I bonus: building - [to be posted]

part I bonus: cabin arson [ramble] - [to be posted]

part I bonus: cabin arson [art + snippet] - here

part I bonus: a night for living: mr beak - here grian gets mr beak [art + snippet] - here a pink ribbon (kane & flock) [RP] - here dancing by the bonfire [art + snippet] - here other parts - [to be posted]

part I bonus: nice things - here

part I bonus: preening, flying, and flock - [to be posted]

part I bonus: phantom attack - [to be posted]

PART II - DEATH

part II main rambles - [to be posted]

PART III - [REDACTED]

part III main rambles - [to be posted]

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summer arc:

something burns [ask answer] - here

---

rescue:

rescue rambles pt I - here

rescue rambles pt II - here

rescue rambles pt III - here

---

post-return bits:

will they ever return? [ask] - here

clothing choices [mini ramble + art] - here

loss of sense of safety - here

we're going to live [snippet] - here

things don't end - here

doubts and breakdowns [+ rp snippets] - here

previous relationships and the booty call incident - here

fever and feeling unsafe [+ rp snippets] - here & art here

scar's feelings & sleepover preparations - here

on hermits that support scar and grian - here

the sleepover (and the aftermath) - [to be posted]

wedding bits:

proposal [art/comic/snippet] - here

wedding scar [art] - here

wedding grian [art] - here

wedding scarian [art] - here

wedding respawn - here

---

more art and other things under #hhau tag <3

art-only tag is #hhau art (but all art also has the main #hhau tag)

[ironunderstands]

AAAAAAAAA

Genuinely I feel annoying as fuck for saying this but like I can’t stand the way anybody else but me or my mutuals writes Aventio/Ratiorine 90% of the time

So, to vent my frustration, here’s a not in order at all bulleted list of stuff I absolutely despise when seeing content of them. This is not to call ppl out or anything, I just wanna rant about my preferences lol

oh and cw: mentions of slavery, nsfw, suicidal tendencies and non-con

-one or both of them being way to horny/flirty

Maybe this could work in content with an established relationship, but like, these guys don’t fuck, I’m sorry, they don’t. They are the biggest virgin losers ever regardless of if they have had sex in the past or not. Some of yall don’t get that they were acting in Penacony for the most part and Aventurine’s flirtiness didn’t have any weight behind it, he was really just messing with Ratio. I think if he were seriously trying to court Ratio, he’d probably be LESS flirty, but that’s just me. I understand why people make nsfw of them without any kinda buildup because well it’s fun, but for me personally I don’t really like it 90% of the time, however I fully get this is a me thing. I can tolerate it more in fanart bc well it’s fanart so yeah there’s not gonna be 3000k words of lore behind it, but like if I’m reading a fic and Aventio go from not even being in a relationship to having sex on a whim it just confuses me.

-yandere anything

I despise this trope already but it makes me 100000x more annoyed because holy shit neither of them would be a yandere I get it some people like this but WHYY THEMMM it doesn’t make sense. Yandere Aventurine makes me even more mad bc why the fuck would he make someone suffer like he did when he was younger???

-emotionless Ratio

Idk why half the community treats Ratio like he’s an unfeeling logic robot who’s sole goal is knowledge even when the game beats you over the head about how he’s the exact fucking opposite of that, but honestly I think this is just a symptom of the fact that a lot of ratiorine writers don’t give two fucks about him at all and he’s practically written as a plot device for Aventurine’s characterization.

-misunderstanding why Ratio is a tsundere

I’ve seen a lot of people misinterpret how and why Ratio is a tsundere towards Aventurine, citing it as if he doesn’t want to be associated with him/looks down upon him/is ashamed to like him when that’s really not true at all. Ratio respects and cares about Aventurine a hell of a lot, and he isn’t shy at all to show it when it’s necessary (see DSAIWYTBOL or the “if you can’t hold on any longer then tell me”). However, the reason he pushes away Aventurine isn’t exactly personal (although Aventurine’s closeness to him is part of the reason why).

Rather, Ratio tends to downplay his close relationships a lot, likely as a defense mechanism, as he admits himself that he isn’t good with people in one of the dialogue options with trailblazer for the express visits. Now why he is this way is a subject of speculation because Ratio rarely ever talks about himself, and the only character who actually has a voiceline on him is Aventurine himself, so it’s very hard to get an outside perspective on him. His character stories don’t really help that much either, as they are more about his personal philosophy and journey in life rather than his personality.

However, taking what Ratio says towards Aventurine at face value when he has proven the opposite (especially considering how the trope of the tsundere is kinda centered on the character in question spouting bullshit) results in people completely misunderstanding their relationship which can get REALLY annoying. Ratio doesn’t think Aventurine is an idiot in the slightest, he just worries about how his methods put himself in danger, not his capabilities.

-fast burn

You’re telling me these emotionally constipated idiots will get together easily? No. There’s a reason I write the most crazy bullshit happening to them before a confession scene and that’s because that’s the only way you can get them to confront their goddamn feelings quickly.

-slavery aus/anything like this

Self explanatory. If you have fetishized Aventurine’s past or made stuff like this please stay 1000 feet away from me at all times or block me. Thank you 🙏

-babying Aventurine

He’s one of the most competent members of the cast, but somehow people act like his breakdown scene in 2.1 is how he behaves 24/7 when that isn’t true at all. Aventurine is incredibly smart, and single-handedly clawed his way to the top. He does not need Ratio to save him. Would he appreciate Ratio’s support? Of course, and he definitely needs loving relationships in his life, but Aventurine isn’t a damsel in distress and not everything in his life is miserable and related to his trauma.

-or the horrible reverse of babying Aventurine: his trauma doesn’t exist actually and he’s perfectly fine/ they write him like it never happened

This one is rather rare and it has overlap with a few of the other points (seriously I’m gonna tweak out the next time someone writes the character who is implied to have survived sex trafficking being a person who would even dream of crossing others boundaries). Usually this happens because people treat Aventurine’s playboy mask as if it’s his actual personality and not traits he picked up to survive and succeed at his goals, and while admittedly even Aventurine is losing track of where the mask ends and he begins, some of y’all take it wayy to far even going on to unironically call him a fuckboy when he’s anything but that. The thing is, I think this happens when people erase who Kakavasha is from their minds, and act as if that side of Aventurine is a purely innocent child and all the “bad” parts of him are part of Aventurine’s mask. However, that’s not true, and Aventurine’s most admirable traits ARE Kakavasha’s. His strategicness, his intellegence, his bravery, these are all traits he possessed long before becoming Aventurine of stratagems, something which he demonstrated when he for example got his sisters neckless back, or made that bet with his first enslaver.

Aventurine’s purity and Aventurine’s capabilities are not separated between Kakavasha and Aventurine of Stratagems, both of those qualities ARE Kakavasha’s so if you are going to write him with the mask off, you have to write BOTH, not give into one or the other.

The things I tend to drop when writing him with the mask off are his false compliments and niceties, acting like he really gives a shit about the IPC’s goals, turning down the flamboyance and cockiness to reasonable levels and making him seem less like he’s playing pretend. Honestly I don’t think it’s that hard yet this is still a pitfall I see a lot of people stumbling into.

-Ratio talking like a goddamn encyclopedia

I understand he’s like that sometimes, but he also is well versed in internet lingo and seriously nobody unironically talks like that 24/7 because it’s pointless, and Ratio doesn’t use big words to seem smart, he uses them when they are necessary.

Like I’m sorry but if they are in a middle of having sex and unprompted Ratio starts talking like a biology textbook I’m closing the fic and running around my room screaming BECAUSE GOD IS IT CRINGE. Promoted it can be funny because yeah I can see him doing that but oh my god HE WOULD NOT SAY THAT I don’t even want to give an example it pisses me off that bad but trust me it’s a common phenomenon AND I HATE IT

-Aventurine trying to kill himself 24/7

He isn’t an active suicide risk every goddamn day of his life, he’s just self destructive and those are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

Yes, he tested if you could die in the dreamscape several times, but that’s because one of the favorable outcomes for his mission WOULD BE DYING in the dreamscape. He’s not doing this during a normal work week and even if I believe he still has suicidal tendencies, he’s not gonna throw his life away randomly or over nothing

-Ratio holds authority over Aventurine in any capacity

No, just no. Like the only other thing he might have over him is being intelligent, although they both are smart at different things so even then does it matter? Like I’m sorry but normal human with the ability to float and make imaginary constructs versus LITERAL FUCKING STONEHEART is not a fair fight on Ratio’s end. It doesn’t matter that he’s physically larger than Aventurine, muscles don’t mean shit in a sci-fi setting, especially when your opponent can just summon 3 bajillion coins to drop into your head at a whim and there’s nothing you can do about it. Not like Aventurine would ever dream of hurting him, of course, but seriously people need to stop acting like their different in stature really means anything. Even in terms of position, Aventurine probably outranks him so this false sense of authority people apply to Ratio in their relationship is confusing at best.

Hmm, well that’s all the things I remember to bitch about although I probably have more complaints. To be fair, whenever they aren’t written like incredibly smart people who are idiots hopelessly in love with one another when together I pop a blood vessel so most of these (besides THAT one) are non issues and if you have made/enjoyed these don’t feel ashamed because of my opinions. I needed to let out my inner grinch every once and awhile, so thanks for reading

[2-dsimp]

can u write something for yandere armin? like what if his darling actually liked him back but then ppl are gossiping about him visiting Annie and still having feelings for her? this hurts darling bc she never forgave Anine and maybe her sibling is dead bc of the female titan so she just kinda stops talking to armin???

@laughing-with-god these were catching cobwebs in my drafts but it’s finally here (^◇^;)

————/———-/——————————-/—————-

Cw: Unhinged Armin! Fem! Reader, suicidal mentions, manipulative tendencies, yandere tendencies, obsessive behavior, mutual pinning

————/———-/——————————-/—————-

Is she ignoring me?

Armin questioned.

Watching you longingly from afar underneath the bangs of his long blonde hair, he began to overthink about what went wrong between the two of you. The rumors that kept circulating his mind about how you also had feelings for him. Was driving him insane with all the conflicting emotions in his weak heart.

Doesn’t she feel the same way? But if that’s true then why…?

If the rumors are true then why’re you avoiding him? The day before the both of you were in the library leisurely reading books sitting next to each other as if you were connected by the red strings of faith. The atmosphere was so blissful a lovely distraction from the chaos in a world that seems so hopeless.

But now he’s witnessing you ignoring his existence entirely almost as if he didn’t exist in your heart to being in with. And that made him anxious with insecurities running rampant until it turned into twisted delusions.

Has she found another?

No, that can’t be! What do I do? I can’t let her go. I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her—

“Hey did yall hear about what’s happening between Armin and Annie?”

A distant voice snapped him out of his obsessive train of thoughts, and he automatically tuned into the conversation of gossip stemming from a group of scouts.

“Duh everyone knows that those two will hook up eventually, but my heart goes out to that girl who had a crush on him.”

Another voice chimed in with a slight huff of pity going out to you.

“Yeah, hasn’t Armin always had the hots for that Titan girl? I heard that he went to see her last night at the stables”

Armin went rigid at the mere mention that he would choose that abomination you utterly despised over you. Calming himself he couldn’t help but let out a tiny sigh of relief realizing that it was not as bad as he originally thought. Although, he did have an encounter with her, trust me when I say that it was far from that of a friendly front.

Now that he had a clear vision of the situation, he knew exactly what he needed to do to mend the bridge between him and his darling.

Him being all nice to Annie was just a facade to get her guard to the lowest crumbling point. The woman was already running on a half life carrying the guilt of her past warrior self. He pretended to be empathetic towards her, feeding the flames of her innermost desire to end it all by stating that she had suffered long enough by the hands of fate. And that as a former ally he’d assist in making sure she had a nice send off straight to hell.

And eventhough He knew it was wrong of him to enjoy the simpering thought of how jealous you were at the mere inkling idea that he was interested in Annie. He couldn’t help the excitement drumming along in his heart at how that was a sign of your apparent love towards him. A telltale sign of how you wanted him.

He nearly got weak in the knees at the vision of you and him getting together as a loving couple. Especially since he knew that his goal was within reach, all he had to do was set the plan in motion. In few days time you’ll soon see how much he truly loves you, and how much he’d be willing to be your faithful companion.

And what better way to show it, by giving you the chance to get revenge on the traitor you loathed with all your being.

With that in mind Armin quickly headed towards your quarters, his steps becoming upbeat with a small hopeful smile on his face while he daydreamed about you rewarding his efforts with a kiss.

[tundra-employee]

”don’t be stupid, it’s not something you can control. I’ll only be here a little while, anyways. And I won’t go hungry at least. Just. Don’t do things like that for my sake. I’ll be fine. Besides, it’s not like being on the tundra is any different.” Rory said. He stood up and meandered back to his room, throwing one last, “goodnight,” over his shoulder.

Rory shuffled into the kitchen and stared into the refrigerator. He pulled out an apple and took a bite, seeming lost in thought. He had changed back into the clothes he had fallen in, a fluffy sweater and pants. He had lost his jacket and scarf somewhere in the ocean.

“Miss. Can we go shopping? I… need a jacket that fits. I’m just… cold all the time.”

(@tundra-employee)

"Hm? Oh, right, of course! I almost forgot, heh. And please, just call me Simon."

He was sitting on the kitchen counter, swinging their feet back and forth, reading a newspaper that she quickly discarded in favour of talking to Rory.

"What type of clothes do you want? There should be a shopping mall nearby, though it's been ages since I actually went there."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making someone think I’m dead?

cw: mentions of abuse, self harm, and suicide. putting 🐙👁️ emoji here so i can find the ask again

ok the title sounds awful but here’s the context

so basically, i’ve been in an online relationship with someone who i’ll call K. we’ve been together for a couple years but our relationship has historically been rocky and we’ve almost broken up a couple times. K and i are both autistic and K is also mentally/intellectually disabled (never told me what kind specifically but that’s not really my business) and has struggled with self harm in the past.

K’s family is abusive and their mother accuses them of faking their disability. K also can’t afford to move out or to get a therapist because they can’t work due to their disability, so i’ve been basically the only one taking care of them. it’s really exhausting and i want to be supportive and don’t want them to get hurt but i’m not a therapist and have no idea how to help them.

eventually i decided to just stop talking to them and go quiet on my social media since they have a tendency to look over my accounts. problem is, they keep dm’ing me and asking if i’m still alive (i’ve been inactive for months at this point) and i don’t know if i should respond or what to say. i don’t know if they’re trying to guilt me or if they genuinely think i’m dead but either way i feel like a dick for essentially abandoning them.

i also worry that they could end up hurting themself again (they’ve told me a couple times they would probably kill themself if i broke up with them) and i don’t know if i’d be able to forgive myself if they ended up doing so.

sorry if this is too heavy

What are these acronyms?

[meaeris]

cw: mention of suicide

I absolutely adored this part not only for the great angst (that's how you easily win me over), but also because it unexpectedly provided an opportunity to delve into a significant aspect of my MC’s background. I've chosen to develop her with a tendency towards recklessness, almost bordering on "suicidal tendencies", though she remains unaware of it. Having grown up surrounded by constant threats, danger has become ingrained in her life, leading to a diminished sense of fear.

In the face of adversity, she has embraced a philosophy of "acceptance," allowing her to adapt easily to new perils but leaving her hesitant to confront dire conditions head-on. I think it's fascinating to explore how she suppresses her anguish, offering a unique perspective on her resilience.

As the story unfolds in future chapters, I envision my main character's growth influenced by Kian's concept of immortality which could present a compelling opportunity for her to evolve and navigate her internal strugge.

Thanks to @evertidings for writing this beautiful story!

[vampireistic]

AVENTURINE CHARACTER ANALYSIS

★ with some aventio analysis too !

CW: this is aventurine we’re speaking about so; mentions of suicide, gambling, massive spoilers

ps. i’m a massive dumbass that still to this day doesn’t fully understand the penacony lore so i’ll most definitely miss things out, my bad.

Watching everyone around you die out while you are forced into living because of a God blessing you with their rainy tears really presents the duality between a blessing and a curse. Really makes you wonder if luck even existed or does experiencing constant suffering and finding a string of hope make you blind to the true nature of your condition. Are you truly fortunate, or are you merely trapped in a cycle of endless grief masked by moments of fleeting hope?

CHARACTER DESIGN

Aventurine’a design is a reflection of who he is; wealthy, confident, flamboyant and so on and so forth. More importantly, though, his design is meant to reflect his desire to be seen as well as his use as just a mere pawn. His design and character are very reminiscent that of peacocks (a design choice rather common with characters who gamble) — peacocks are known and praised for their distinctive beauty as well as their worth.

This also means that they’re a massive target for collectors meant to serve as a person’s trophy; a similar way as to how Aventurine is quite literally a slave, his extravagance meant to pale his vulnerability. This Sigonian trophy has now become a pawn for the Stonehearts (IPC), his design is almost like a branding for him (even more so than the actual mark on his neck), it’s a reminder that he’s going to forever remain someone else’s property. The collar around his neck is meant to serve as a similar reminder.

His lavish design could be seen as a way to distract from his lack of freedom. The more extravagant he appears, the more people focus on his outer beauty rather than the fact that he is, essentially, a prisoner.

HIS TRAUMA / LORE

Aventurine’s relationship with his family has always intrigued me. He absolutely loved them to his core, and they loved him completely back in turn; sounds rather perfect, right? But I can’t help but feel like them drilling into his head that he was the gem of their home, that he would bring them to victory even as a sole survivor — he was their lucky charm. Sure, at the time it probably didn’t mean too much since he was a child and understood that these were words said in desperate times, but now as he’s older? Those words haunt him once again — I mean, it’s literally one of the many reasons he has survivors guilt.

It was actually a little difficult to categorise Aventurine into an attachment style (a template for how a child will most likely act like in the future) because his relationship with his family isn’t really shown all too specifically, or at least specifically enough to understand how he truly feels about them. All I can go off of is his devotion, therefore I can vaguely assume he would have an avoidant attachment style.

Given the way he was treated as someone “treasured” or “superior”, Aventurine has developed avoidant tendencies as a way to cope with the pressure and isolation of his status. He might distance himself emotionally from others, preferring to maintain a facade of independence and self-reliance rather than risk vulnerability.

"Maybe luck won't be on your side this time, and the bill for all your past good fortune will come due."

Finally, the person in front of him turns around. The distant skyscraper reflects a kaleidoscope of colors like an opal stone, while a music box plays on its own.

"But isn't that what you've been longing for?"

────────────────────────

This man is quite literally so suicidal. Pretty obvious, I think anyone could pick that up from the fact he outwardly admits in the Penacony quest that he “attempted multiple times” in the dream world, which of course led to nothing. He’s so desperate, weak, and afraid. He’ll try anything even if he knows the final outcome is more than likely futile.

As soon as he’s allowed a little bit of freedom, his first instinct is to off himself. Perhaps that’s also just a showcase that he cannot handle the idea of his own autonomy and that’s unfortunately quite common with victims of abuse; when given freedom, they don’t understand what to do with it. It’s like freeing an orphaned deer from an animal trade…whats it’s use now that it doesn’t have anyone controlling it?

Aventurine’s duality may be a form of dissociation, a psychological coping mechanism where he separates his true self from the persona he has been forced to adopt. The “peacock” persona becomes a mask that he wears, allowing him to navigate a world where he is constantly objectified and used.

However, despite his innate survivors guilt and this want for an escape, he refuses to actually die without trying to avenge his home.

────────────────────────

Immediately after gaining a sense of agency and somewhat power, he seeks for some form of closure. He’s obviously still very determined, in this way, he’s regaining that form of liberty by using his new role to his advantage despite it clearly weighing the IPC down (that alone is purposeful, he’s a pawn for them because it’s also convenient for him).

RELATIONSHIPS (slash aventio :3)

Now I utterly hate Jade — to me, she feels like a very lazily written antagonist/villainous character, and even if she had good aspects to her, it’s completely overshadowed by the fact she’s clearly marketed as just another “dom mommy” (believe me i cringed there too). One thing I’ll praise her for is the relationship she creates with the other Stoneheart’s members — it’s disgustingly manipulative and I love it.

To Jade, Aventurine and Topaz are two sides of the same coin, similar yet vastly different. Both of them are of course beneficial to the IPC, yet if a moment arose to be replaced, she wouldn’t hesitate to backstab Aventurine over Topaz, he’s a speck of dirt on their shoulders and too much of a burden.

More specifically; the only way Jade cares For Aventurine is the same way you’d care for a weapon, you wouldn’t want it to get damaged but there’s always the option to replace it if it does. Have you seen that post where it, to simplify, stated “love but in the way a wolf loves the sheep it herds”, that’s basically the entire dynamic between all the Stoneheart’s, however it’s evident Aventurine is a black lamb.

Outside of Aventurine’s acquaintances of convenience born purely from the notion of gaining something in return, Aventurine truly has one person who’s willing to stick to his dumbassery through thick and thin: Dr Ratio.

Firstly, these two clearly mimic the dynamic between Kaveh and Alhaitham and I find myself slowly just loving their trope even more heavily — a man who thrives off the intangible for the sake of success with a man who’s entire life focuses on logic, reason and book smarts. Throughout the entire segment where the pair are about to meet with Sunday and commit to the most dramatic ass lion king esque betrayal scene, Dr Ratio is cautious. He has to make this betrayal look real, so he maintains this facade of indifference with all the quips and comments Aventurine says.

He does everything for the sake of Aventurine. This man quite literally can’t look at Aventurine after he plays the part of a betrayer because he can’t imagine himself actually doing such a thing. Does he trust Aventurine? Yeah, sure, but he still leaves Aventurine with a heartfelt note that he specified he should read in his last moments:

“Do stay I alive. I wish you the best of luck.”

Dr Ratio is one of the first people to acknowledge Aventurine’s vulnerability and doesn’t exploit it, instead choosing to console him. In a way, it’s actually a little sweet that Dr Ratio thought of a scenario where Aventurine’s godly luck ran out, it shows he views him as a person who’s gained the knowledge he has, and not just a pawn who’s been polished into a gem.

cute dividers: strangergraphics

art: amosprinz

this is a little less analytical and more so rambly than i would’ve preferred, but i also just wanted to give people the opportunity to yap and talk about aventurine and the penacony lore in general. feel free to share whatever thoughts you have on this d(^_^o)

[boneappleteethsplural]

serious post again, CW: brief mentions of suicide and death threats

i saw a post that stated "bullying alone can not cause USDD/OSDD" i dont remember the exact words but that was the jist of it.

kids are fucking brutal. story time! when we were in grade 10 (freshman year, i believe) we got our head slammed in a locker door. we got a concussion from that. we have permanent double vision, we had one surgery, and we have another lined up because it will not go away. we had to do a full year of eye therapy and exercises in an attempt to fix it that did not work. that same kid has been verbally tormenting us since before kindergarten. that kid has gotten multiple of our classmats to berate us and bring us down. that kid has genuinely caused us to consider suicide. he turned everyone against us, spread rumours, the works. we had NO friends from school. we never had anyone over for birthdays except cousins who were obligated to come. we never got invited to anyone elses birthday, because no one liked us. we were the 'weird kid' (undiagnosed autism, undiagnosed adhd, undiagnosed other disorders that fuck with our mind and make dayto day life more impossible than it is) no one ever wanted to be our friend we were isolated and neglected and! bullied! HARSHLY! PHYSICALLY HARMED by classmates. we are 20 years of age bodily, we have a few issues (that i will not name) that makes our mental age be the equivalent of 15-16. we will always be a few years behind our physical age. our mom says that once we turn 24, 25 that itll be easier to pretend we're the right age mentally. all of this shit got us bullied to the point where this other kid deemed it acceptable to screw up our fucking vision by smalling our head in a locker door when we bent down to pick up a binder and make our parents shell out fifty thousand+ dollars to try and fix it. you wanna know what they did to make sure we didnt get bullied again? took us out of the same classes and moved our locker. he didnt get suspended or expelled or even punished. the bullying stopped after we dropped out due to suicidal thoughts and self harming tendencies. we have not gone back, and we legally cant go back as we're legal adults now.

when our aunts went to school, they received threats such as "im going to bring my dads b*tch*r kn*fe to school and ch*p your head off". do you know how fucking upsetting that is to a child? do you know how terrified our aunts were when they got told things like that DAILY? they could not go to the teachers, because the teachers would step in, talk to the bully, and then the bully would call them tattletales and bully them harder.

we got hit with a motercycle by our brother and then got blamed for it. it wasnt our fault. we were on a bicycle, driving on the right side of the road, pretty much in the ditch. and he hit us and lied about it to our parents so he wasnt in trouble and they believed him and yelled at us and took our bike away. even lying like that can be horribly horriby damaging to a small child.

when youre a small child and dont have a big concept of 'things could be worse!' and stuff like that, bullying is a massive deal and it can, and has, driven people to suicide, kids recieve literal death threats and then dont tell people because they will get bullied harder. other kids will lie about big things and then you get blamed for something very serious that is not your fault. kids get physically harmed, and the teachers do nothing about it and the child learns early on that they are on their own. traumatizing, right? people also seem to forget that parents are the bullies sometimes. parents who bully their kids also count as bullying. bullying is bullying no matter who it is.

obviously our trauma and OSDD wasnt caused solely by bullying. we have a rough home life, our parents are actively preventing us from getting a job and moving out, but thats a story for another time or maybe even never. i dont mind sharing those three stories as they happened a long long time ago, we have come to terms with it and accepted that they happened. we cant do anything about it anymore.

dont share your trauma online unless you know for a fact you wont be bothered if someone attempts to harass you or use it against you, this was to prove a point and let people know how fucking awful and traumatizing bullying can be from anyone.

DISASSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDERS CAN BE CAUSED BY BULLYING.

-Lumi/Etho

[kkami-writes]

waiting for us ― a skz social media au.

pairing. OT8 x fem!reader synopsis. At age 16 you either get your soul mark (in the form of your soulmates name somewhere on your body) or you become a blank, someone who doesn't have a soulmate. You've long lost any semblance of hope or comfort in the magic of soulmates, despite the fact that you have 8 of them. genre. soulmate!au, college!au, social media!au + written parts, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut cw. swearing, mentions of sex, sexual innuendos, skz should be in horny jail, eventual smut (MDNI), domestic abuse, sexual assault/harassment, implied/referenced self-harm, suicidal tendencies/thoughts, implied/referenced past suicide attempt, male x male relationships (skz are soulmates), polyamory, kms/kys jokes, mentions of homophobia + transphobia, lots of written parts, reader is really bad at feelings, ulzzang pics (this is more so to focus on the fashion), appearance of junhao, yeji and hyunjin are siblings, more to be added status: ongoing! / taglist: CLOSED! wanna support my work? consider buying me a coffee.

yn's accounts | the boys chapter one. go to horny jail chapter two. sus chapter three. welcome home cheater chapter four. you come here often? chapter five. sk8er boi chapter six. just a coincidence chapter seven. soulmate tingle chapter eight. down bad chapter nine. avoidance chapter ten. feminine urges chapter eleven. the whole circus chapter twelve. fairy boy chapter thirteen. apologies chapter fourteen. simp behavior chapter fifteen. not slick chapter sixteen. scooby doo chapter seventeen. screwed over chapter eighteen. back off hoe chapter nineteen. the gig chapter twenty. the plan™ chapter twenty one. yn chapter twenty two. a chance chapter twenty three. good morning chapter twenty four. totally subtle chapter twenty five. opening up chapter twenty six. howls moving castle chapter twenty seven. a deal chapter twenty eight. girls daye chapter twenty nine. girl dinner chapter thirty. the clit chapter thirty one. knight in shining armor chapter thirty two. masterpieces chapter thirty three. #NPP chapter thirty four. beach episode chapter thirty five. in the rain chapter thirty six. rumours chapter thirty seven. laser tag chapter thirty eight. cat cafe chapter thirty nine. bruises chapter fourty. sunrise

waiting for us masterlist part 2!!!!

[kn-1013]

Sal Headcannons

I've done headcannons and Larry and Travis, so now it's time for my Sal headcannons. CW for mentions of suicide.

His Jersey accent used to be a lot thicker, but faded over time as he lived in Nockfell. He still calls it 'wutter' instead of 'water' though, and Larry makes fun of him for it (S: Can I get some wutter? L: No, I can get you some water though).

Henry and Sal are pretty isolated from the rest of their family. Diane's family don't like Henry because they think he had something to do with Diane's death, and they've tried to influence Sal to believe that he did, but it didn't work. They aren't in contact with Henry's parents because quite frankly they're just awful people, and Henry hasn't spoken to them since Sal was very young.

Sal takes bugs outside with a cup and is unnerved by squishing them.

He can't drive because his depth perception has been pretty badly damaged from both losing one eye, and the mild brain damage he received after the shooting. He still feels comfortable enough to ride his bike most of the time, though.

Yeah, he got a bit of brain damage after the shooting, and experiences mild issues with balance, vertigo, depth perception, swallowing, occasionally with speech, and reading/reading comprehension.

He was born with a cleft lip and palette, and that coupled with the missing cheek and the brain damage makes it so that he has a mild speech impediment most noticeable with P's (they can sound more like B's), and S's (slight lisp), and he often slurs his speech slightly, especially when he's tired. He also has tendencies to skip over words when speaking, say them out of order, or conjoin words.

He has ADHD.

Despite his lack of a license, he has been driving a couple of times before, though it's usually because Larry convinced him to. Larry would drive his truck down to an isolated location and have Sal drive around for fun, and it was mostly just donuts because as soon as Sal learned how to do those, that was all he wanted to do.

After the shooting, Henry started drinking heavily and began neglecting his son's posttraumatic needs, and most other needs. He also got bullied for his face and his feminine nature very heavily, getting worse as he got older and the teens got meaner. His friends mostly defended him, but they could be just as mean at times, and it never really felt like he was a part of the group as much as he was their pet freak. This all caused Sal to become extremely bitter and mean for a long time, which comes as a surprise to his friends, having only known him as a very kind person.

He attempted suicide once, when he was around fifteen or sixteen, as a result of the mounting stress and mental health problems. This is what caused Henry to really wake up about his alcoholism, realizing that if he couldn't better, then he'll lose his son, too.

In the aftermath of this attempt, after having to deal with patronizing doctors for weeks, Sal managed to express his bitterness and hatred and anger properly for the first time in years by yelling at his father about it until he broke down. This was the beginning of their relationship beginning to heal. Still, Sal said a lot of things he regrets now during that breakdown. (S: If you took five minutes to stop pickling your frontal love in Miller Lite, you'd have enough brain cells left to realize what was going on with me a lot sooner.)

Sal hates doctors more than anything, having had some very negative experiences with them over the years. He finds them extremely patronizing and often feels gaslit after talking to one professionally, because they're often extremely homophobic to him, assuming that his gender non-conformity is somehow the result of an Ed Gein-like pathology. If they're not being homophobic, they see his face, his disabilities, and his psychiatric issues, and they start treating him like a toddler, (it gets worse in psychiatric hospitals).

With how I write him, Sal definitely has quite a bit of BPD, but with the original storyline, he wouldn't have gotten the chance to get diagnosed. In AUs, he probably gets diagnosed sometime in his early to mid twenties, as that's when his symptoms really become apparent as relationships in his life start getting more serious and his old coping mechanisms start becoming much more pathological.

I've given some of my weird bullshit to Travis (autism) and Ash (mystery, because I haven't made her post yet lol), so I've also been giving Sal some too: He has POTS, but Henry explained it to Sal as 'your mom's heart thing'. It started when he was around 14, and got progressively worse over the years, but he didn't know it was a problem until Lisa pointed out that he wasn't experiencing a normal fatigue when she took his blood pressure with her at-home monitor one time, and he displayed tachycardia and low blood pressure. He often wears compression gear underneath his clothes to help, and can often be seen drinking pickle juice, because it's cheaper than pedialyte.

Due to the everything that's wrong with him, he's very passionate about disability justice.

His favorite horror movie is Texas Chainsaw Massacre, because it was the first one he watched with Larry. To this day, he maintains that Bubba Sawyer did nothing wrong, that it was the fault of those stupid teenagers, and that the sequels take away what made the first movie so good by making them so over the top.

He watched Carrie once and it made him cry. In retrospect, it reminds him somewhat of Travis.

Considers Nightmare on Elm Street a kid's movie.

His favorite actor is Michael Berryman, as he is a successful and well-liked person with facial/body differences, and that makes him feel a bit more confident in himself.

Sal has a lot of gender-differences, but I don't know if he would ever label it officially. I do think he should try Estrogen though. It's a recreational drug, he'll like it.

With sexuality, I think Sal is bisexual. As far as types go, I think he's most into people with more dominant personalities than his; people who like to talk more, people who are very passionate, people who know what they want, people who can take the lead in a relationship because he's definitely too nervous for that, etc. I think Ash falls into this category, which is what draws him to her.

Larry also falls into this category as well, if we wanna talk Sal/Larry. He has more experience and stands on a more solid ground identity-wise than Sal does, which makes him a great rock and dominant character in the relationship.

Travis does not fall into this category, at least not at first, because he simply doesn't feel very comfortable with himself or in a relationship with another guy at first. Especially with Sal, I think this would probably be his, like, first or second relationship, so he's not very experienced at all, and has trouble knowing what he wants. But, this changes a lot as he grows into himself and eventually becomes the more dominant one of the relationship.

No matter what the end-goal ship is for the story i'm writing, I always picture Sal and Ash having dated for a bout a year or so during or after high school, then breaking up, usually either for Ash's college reasons, or general mutual reasons, such as Sal not being stable enough for a relationship mentally, or realizing they do better as friends.

Upon reflecting on the relationship, Ash describes dating Sal as more like dating a girl than a guy. All things considered, she holds Sal in high esteem as a partner, as he was very attentive to her needs and generally eager to communicate. Though, his biggest issue was that he could be cagey and didn't like it when she focused on him too much, due to his insecurities and fears around intimacy.

Sal has always been feminine and faggy, which is why it was somewhat of a surprise to Henry when it turned out he DID like girls, just in addition to boys. Not that that's a bad thing, he just wasn't expecting it.

Henry's parents are pretty homophobic, and instilled a lot of that into him, but a lot of that started changing when he had his own son, who seemed so pleased to wear fairy princess dresses that Henry couldn't bring himself to do to Sal what was done to him in the name of an increasingly arbitrary masculinity. He ended up having to argue with a lot of doctors to leave Sal's expression alone, because they kept claiming that it was some kind of pathological issue that needed to be fixed, and not just who he was. (H: The problem isn't that he's a fag, he's always been that way! The problem is that his mother was killed right in front of him, and his face was disfigured! Why don't you focus on that?)

This is getting a bit long now, lol. I'll need to make a part two at some point because I think about Sal way too much. It's very easy for me to write for him, because we have a lot of very similar experiences with 'random tragedies'. He's probably my favorite to write for, aside from Todd.