#/descends from soapbox

[marypsue]

16 and 21 for the fic ask meme

[from this meme]

16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles?

There are two possible times I come up with titles: either as soon as the premise lands in my head, or when I am staring down the draft on AO3 and about to post it. There is no in-between.

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

Here's my little secret: I don't delete anything anymore. Anything that doesn't work where I'm trying to put it gets copied and pasted into the very end of the document where the story lives, after about half a page of blank space from the last line of 'real' writing. Then I have it, preserved in amber, for if I get another twenty scenes in and realise that I need something and that thing that I cut out twenty scenes ago is exactly the thing I need.

(This happens more often than you might think. I completely cut about 2/3 of the final chapter of the road goes ever on, thinking I'd have to rewrite it from scratch. Nope! Just had to chop up those 2/3 of a chapter that I cut, rearrange it like a maniac with a corkboard and some red thread, and write a handful of interstitial sentences. And now it reads like it was always meant to be that way, and I can't even remember where all the stitches are. Ain't writing neat?)

To answer the spirit of this question and not the letter, though: yeah, all the time. Part of that is because I keep scenes that I cut, and if I really love them, I'll often find a way to work them in somewhere else (or into something else), so it doesn't feel like quite as much of a permanent sacrifice as it might. Part of that is because...well, have a story.

I'm a fresh baby adult. I have just recently graduated high school, and now the full weight of everyone's expectations of what I'll do with my 'potential' and everyone's disappointment that I don't have a clear, safe career path planned out yet are resting directly on my shoulders. I'm in a university art class. I'm very, very nervous, because I don't feel like a 'real' artist, because I don't feel like I belong here with all the good artists, and because I have a nervous perfectionist streak almost as wide as my entire body.

We are doing a unit on sculpture. I have never in my life done any sculpture, except for a couple of (extremely ugly) clay crafts in elementary school. We are assigned to take a rectangular block of styrofoam, and make an animal shape out of it. The kicker - we can't add anything to the block, only cut away.

I manage to make a reasonably decent-looking animal shape in my rough draft. But as soon as I try to translate it to the big block, it's immediately obvious that my design...lacks something. It's blocky. It's bulky. It's ugly. It looks...close to the shape of an actual animal, close to photorealism, but the fundamental rectangular-ness of it is so overwhelmingly strong. I'm carefully whittling away at the edges and the corners and the curves, scared to wreck it by making a big change, but nothing I do is helping at all.

Luckily, I have a very good art professor. Luckily, I have limited patience for fussing around with things that aren't working. (Luckily, I've been listening to MCR's Danger Days on repeat and it, especially the idea of 'Would you destroy something perfect to make something beautiful?', has been setting little fires in my brain.) Luckily, somehow, for whatever reason, I get fed up with nibbling around the edges and seeing no results. I get brave.

And I cut a deep curve into the side of my sculpture, cutting nearly half of the material away in one stroke.

The sculpture comes to life. The change is instant and obvious, and, more importantly, it's good. It's not anything resembling photorealistic anymore - if an actual animal was shaped like that, it would be very, very uncomfortable or possibly very dead - but it looks more like an animal than it ever did when I was going for 'realistic'. It has motion. It has visual interest. It carries the eye through the sculpture. And this massive improvement on the one side makes it suddenly extremely obvious where the rest of the sculpture needs similar cuts and angles to balance it.

I think I ended up getting a B or a C+ on that assignment. The sculpture turned out kind of wonky, with some angles that still didn't sit right. It was not a piece of timeless art. But that wasn't what was important. What was important was that I took a big risk, and got rid of what wasn't working, and it made something good. Something compelling. Something interesting. Something that, for all its flaws, I was much, much prouder of than the dull, safe thing I had been working on.

Sometimes, especially when you're just starting out as a writer, just starting to find your voice and feel confident in your work, every sentence feels precious and it feels dangerous to move or remove them, because what if you'll ruin it, what if you'll never make anything that good again. But if you're writing, it means you care enough about telling a story to try at it. Trying, and continuing to try, is how improvement happens. As Annie Dillard so beautifully put it, these things fill from behind. You will write something as good as that again. Many things, even. And even better things, so long as you keep plugging away at it.

And...you know your story. You know when something doesn't fit or isn't working, way deep down. The worst thing you can do for yourself is leave it where it doesn't belong anyway because you're scared of making a mistake.

[enter-the-phantom]

Okay, sit down, Tumblr. Let me get on my soapbox for a moment.

I want to talk about Windows95Man and Henri Piispanen and why we should all be applauding them. And no, this isn’t another “crown the pantsless Finn” shitpost.

I know I joke about my love for these two a lot, and I’ve kind of become the Windows95Man guy this week, but with all the drama and chaos going on, they really do deserve recognition for what they did. And I’m so dead serious about that. There is a reason I adore this stupid act so goddamn much.

This competition was a shitshow and was very stressful, for the performers as well as the audience. It was tense and hostile, and even when our favorites for the win were performing, we could never really relax because we wanted so badly for them to beat the team that should not have been there and that was turning this into a nightmare for everyone involved. We were so scared of the points and the voting at every turn, wondering if the EBU was going to pull another stunt. It was miserable even when our favorites did well. And we are all heartbroken for Joost. It was a disgrace and it wasn’t fun.

Now. “No Rules!” was the joke entry and it never stood a chance in hell and everyone knew it. I guarantee you they knew it and they never expected to get this far. But for a few minutes, everyone got to forget about the cruelty and the politics and the unfair treatment and the harassment, and just watch a crazy dude run around pantsless on stage. We got to be consumed by pure, unbridled joy and happiness for a few minutes, together, because this entry wasn’t a threat to anyone’s win and never set out to be. They did not come here to win—according to Teemu himself, they came to spread a few moments of joy to a world and an audience that desperately needed it. That is all they came to do. And that is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

It is such a deeply moving and wonderful thing to watch people laughing together with the people they hated only moments ago. The way the crowd roared when that stupid denim egg opened was a truly emotional moment in a way I can’t quite express. No matter what flag they were waving, everyone in that audience was singing along and cheering on these two madmen, united in the sheer hilarity and chaos of those few minutes. When that man’s shorts descended from the rafters and he lit those sparklers, we weren’t crying for Joost or worrying about the final outcome or panicking. We were laughing, and we were laughing together. Laughter is healing and it’s unifying. And it may have been only a few moments in a week that was bitter and stressful for all involved, but that is worth something to unite people in such a way.

According to all sources, the Finnish team was nothing but kind and warm to everyone and did exactly what they set out to do. They can go home with their heads held high knowing they made people smile. I have so much deep respect for these two and their team for being the joy and fun this competition was so sorely missing. They never lost that spark and that drive to make people happy, because that was their only goal. And it’s probably melodramatic because I’m a performer myself. But they are my heroes for it. And I mean that with all the sincerity I have.

With all the drama and the horrible things happening in this organisation and the world at large, I just don’t want us to forget two of the unsung heroes just because their entry was never a real contender. They deserve better than that, because they more than succeeded in what they came out here to do.

All the love and all the applause in the world to Teemu Keisteri and Henri Piispanen, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. 🇫🇮❤️👖

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: I'm gonna punch the winged lion in the face istg

(Again, reminder that this is all retroactive and/or reread. Original timestamps [about half the screenshots/comments] are 3:57-4:14am, last week.)

I dunno, I think it seems like a nice young creature that could be my friend!!

Seriously though: love love love that the first desire it heard was literal hunger, that the first thing it did was feed itself to a creature as food (Laios energy!) (and get pooped out, and so become part of the world!), that the first thing it ate was literal hunger.

"I learned that in this world, things that were consumed ceased to exist."

It's so neat how this applies to everything in this world - physical food, souls tied to bodies which are eaten, and insubstantial desires.

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I just like these little creatures with the eyes.

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it looks so sad...

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fucking LOVE the implication that the different races are just descended from people who wished for different things for "their" people. Yet another #WorldbuildingWin

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I just like these guys! They're neat!

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Genuinely sad that they never even briefly sealed the lion into the Dungeon Gourmet Guide. That would've been so funny and appropriate. For is it not Laios's spellbook, the superficial guide to everything he desires!

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YET AGAIN I LOVE THIS BOY'S STRATEGERIES. He's very..."ruthless" isn't quite the right word, though it's not wrong either. "Unflinching", perhaps. He sees what needs to be done and he does it, even at grievous, grieving cost to himself first, his allies only if he can't avoid it.

Also, obviously: gotta love the relationship between a guy and the cat he trusts to kill him if necessary.

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[clambering up onto a standard internet soapbox] Thoughts are not crimes, you anti sonofabitch!

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THE BITTER IRONY THAT THIS IS EXACTLY HOW LAIOS HAS TO LIVE THE REST OF HIS LIFE, THANKS TO HIS DUTIES AS KING AND THIS FUCKER'S CURSE. (Though, to be fair, as noted earlier, all dungeon lords' final wishes seem to be 'Fuck The Guy That Did This To Me', so it's only fair - and narratively juicy! - that the demon's is, too.)

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Wnged Lion:

Kabru, 20 minutes ago:

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[Radiohead voice] 'Cuz he's a creep...he's a weirdo... What the hell is he doing here? This is just vore, now...

Also, eyes!

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Get you a cat like this!!

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I do not fucking approve of this.

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Extreme unsettlingness aside, this is truly so funny and I can't WAIT to see it animated, and moreover voice-acted. The Laios voice and some body language, but also it's teh Winged Lion, but ALSO the Winged Lion has maintained somewhat of a persona of benevolent, gracious wisdom, whereas demon!Laios has 'slightly charming fuckboy about to Spring Break party in Florida' vibes.

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Get that Kabru-ass big-eyed earnestness off my son's FACE you FREAK!

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The fucking JUMPSCARE of this, I'm cackling. Mithrun's vibes remain impeccable. Bizarre! But impeccable.

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THAT"S NO NIGHTMARE! THAT'S A TRIPLE-HEADED MEGA-SUPER FIRE-AND-ICE-BREATHING HELLA-HYDRAMERA WHATSIT, aka MY BELOVED SON THE KING OF MONSTERS! I'm no more concerned than when he jumped in front of Lycion wearing a giant mushroom and holding Kensuke! I know a friend when I see one!

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 民国奇探/My Roommate is a Detective.

My Roommate is a Detective is a 2020 drama about the Jazz Age shenanigans of a terrible OT3: a useless noodle boy, a spoiled journalist girl, and a handsome thug-turned-cop, who together solve Agatha Christie mysteries in 1920s Shanghai.

I mean, seriously, have you ever wondered what Hercule Poirot would be like if he were a 6'2" Chinese rubber man? If he had a long-suffering sugar daddy from the wrong side of the tracks and a spunky sugar mommy who owned their shared apartment? The answer is, it would be a laugh-out-loud-funny series about a ridiculous and charming assortment of weirdos solving only slightly believable murder mysteries in charming period clothing.

This is another one of those shows where I'm kind of shocked at how not well-known it is, except I'm not, because I can see exactly the problems that keep fandom from descending on it like horny little vultures. Nonetheless, I think it's a good time that more people would enjoy if they gave it the chance. Here's five reasons why you should:

1. Equal parts smart as heck and dumb as butts

On the one hand, especially given its tone and tenor, this show has many surprisingly clever turns and thoughtful moments, carried along by some talented actors. On the other hand, [.gif of a guinea pig in a rollerskate being pushed merrily down a hallway]

This show is not a complicated intellectual exercise. It's an action comedy about a goofy sleuth, a rich-girl reporter, and the cop who should be the straight man in this trio, except he's as much of a goober as the other two are. If the promotional tableaus are giving you real "cover of a Clue box" vibes, you've understood the kind of pastiche it's pulling off.

The mysteries are preposterous. They're all the kind of thing that exemplify the Doyle line about how, when you've eliminated the impossible, whatever's left has got to be the answer, no matter how ding-dang improbable it may be. You know the type: tons of overly elaborate setups, unbelievably perfect timing, coincidental long-lost relatives, people hallucinating right and left. They're also very short -- most full cases take only 2-3 episodes to introduce, investigate, and resolve, even when interspersed with the larger goings-on in these weirdos' lives. The DramaWiki page for the show lists 23 separate arcs over 36 episodes, so you do the math.

And yet, it's way more thoughtful and clever than its doofy little setup would indicate. Its attention to detail surprised me on more than one occasion. Add to that a bunch of solid performances from an ensemble of real characters, and what you get is definitely more substantive than a junk-food waste of time. You can't turn your brain off while watching it, but you sure can turn it down, and that's great.

It also doesn't hurt that everyone is super attractive and wearing great outfits. The whole show's worth it for the wardrobes.

2. THE GIRL

Fuck the haters, fuck everyone, I am going to climb right up on my little soapbox and tell you all why Bai Youning is awesome.

She is insane. She's a troll. She's a clever little monster. Every other character's response to her is, oh my god, you are literally the worst. And she is! She has been spoiled beyond belief by her incredibly rich Crime Dad, and she has learned to leverage her uwu just a widdle girl status to get her whatever the hell she wants. She simply cannot hear it when someone says the word "no." She will look her future sister-in-law in the eye and point a loaded gun at her own head without blinking. Every ball she has is made of brass.

She's hardly perfect. During the course of the show, there are some times where her entitlement runs face-first into the brick wall of reality. She's not nearly as good at her chosen career path as she's been told (mostly by the people who get paid to tell her she's good). She's rarely prepared to deal with the consequences of her actions, especially when she can't just throw money at the problem.

So she learns, and grows, and changes. She's always going to be a stubborn bitch, but she can become a stubborn bitch with a more accurate conception of her relationship to the world around her.

She's actually a really good romantic foil for Lu Yao, who is equally stubborn and spoiled and obnoxious as hell. It is a pure brat4brat relationship, where each one thrives on comically enraging the other. What this means, though, is that when they actually start showing one another some vulnerability, it's really sweet.

Now: I'm pretty sure that you could not have made a female character in her position that everyone did not hate, no matter how cool you made her, because that is the fate of all girls who theoretically keep the two boys from kissing. (More on that next point.) If she were less outgoing and friendly, she would've been hated for being too cold. If she were less headstrong, she would've been hated for being a pushover. If she weren't as into the boy, she would've been hated for being frigid. I know the "god forbid a woman do anything" meme is a joke, but ... man, god forbid this girl do anything. She gets a level of hate entirely disproportionate to what she's actually like. As I said with Eom Dada, it's not always sexism, but sometimes, yeah, it's sexism.

(Real talk: Her character is also fighting both how she's definitely not written as well as the boys are and how the plot sometimes needs her to be artificially stupid and jealous for Straightness Drama Reasons, so that's a legit problem on a structural level. Also, she's dubbed by someone else and the boys aren't, which gives her voice an annoying not-quite-there quality that's hard to ignore. The deck is stacked against her real hard even before she steps onscreen.)

So here's my advice: Go into this show wanting to like her. Embrace her terribleness as a positive, intentional quality. Don't be mad at her for straightening up an endgame that was never going to be gay, even without her. Welcome her contributions to the chaos. Realize that she is exactly as entertainingly irritating as her boys are.

Truly, this is a story of three terrible people in love. They're all just awful, and you wouldn't want to be in a room with any of them for longer than you had to. Left to right up there, Bai Youning is spoiled and self-absorbed, Lu Yao is arrogant and lazy, and Qiao Chusheng is suuuuuch a fucking cop. If you're into the kind of dynamic that can only be described OT3: You All Deserve One Another, then this one's perfect for you.

3. Do you really miss '00s queerbaiting?

Like, really? Are you just super-nostalgic for being able to see the showrunners go, ha ha, girls, we know you're watching and we know you want these cute boys to kiss, which they never will -- but what if we pretended for just this one scene??? Do you just carnally ache for that with every fiber of your being?

Yep.

Now, why am I calling the occasional really gay moments between these two gentlemen "queerbaiting" and not "bromance"? Because these moments are a) obviously intentional, b) completely sporadic, and c) never spoken of again.

For example: There's a scene (which you can see a gifset of here) where the two of them are at a restaurant frequented by the cop, who brings a lot of ladies there on dates. When the waiter points this out, useless noodle boy says, I'm his date. The waiter looks mildly surprised by this, the cop says not to listen to his bullshit, and that's the end of it. The scene moves on. There is no further discussion of this comment. It does not affect their relationship.

That's the essence of queerbaiting: that little on-purpose nod to the homoerotic tension between the two, in a way that isn't a joke but also isn't not a joke, and either way is never going to happen. (In fact, the show is going to go out of its way to make sure that ship gets sunk, so, uh, get your fanfiction lifeboats ready for that.)

A true queerbaiting move is something that should make a difference in a relationship, but doesn't. It should make a difference that our cop is so comfortable in the noodle boy's personal space that he invades it at will. It doesn't. It should make a difference that noodle boy keeps getting real weird every time the cop has a date with a girl. It doesn't. Those are some real romantic moves the two of them keep pulling, and then nothing comes of them.

I had this show sold to me as being incredibly shippy, to the point of being even more so than its censored-BL contemporaries. And ... well, it is and it isn't. It has textually gayer individual moments, but it is much less pervasively gay. It's clear from the start that it's going to throw all its actual relationship points into its canon het romance. When it comes to these boys, the show is toying with you. It knows you want to see those boys smooch, just as much as it knows (and it knows you know) they're never gonna.

How you feel about this is entirely up to you -- and indeed, it may be a dealbreaker on the whole drama for you. If you are inclined to pitch a fit when your ship does not become canon, you'll be happier somewhere else. If, however, you see this as a delightful opportunity to do whatever the hell you want with the situation as it is presented, all the while enjoying little moments of startlingly blatant homoeroticism between two handsome dudes, well, here you are!

(I mean, if you want my take on it, what needs to happen is that the cop and the girl need to fuck while the useless noodle boy watches with asexual bisexual interest, and then they all need to snuggle with the noodle boy in the middle so they can both annoy him appropriately, but your mileage may vary.)

4. The multicultural extravaganza!

1920s Shanghai had a lot going on in terms of cultures and languages, and this show actually does a fair job of representing that.

By now, I've seen a number of shows set during this era, and they all at least acknowledge the international nature of the city -- usually by mentioning the French Concession and having a handful of evil Japanese characters. However, this is the first time I've seen a show go to such lengths to actually show so many non-Chinese characters onscreen, even to the point of making one a recurring character supporting the main squad.

Salim is the best. Whatever he is being paid, it's not enough. He's Qiao Chusheng's right-hand man, which means he is also the dude who most often has to put up the main trio's bullshit. (The actor himself is also a dude with a pretty cool backstory, which is another great layer.) He's sharp, he's loyal, he's patient, and he looks great with his shirt off. He's got it all!

Other non-Chinese characters include a white Jewish art collector (I'd issue a warning for period-typical antisemitism, except ��� honestly, it's mostly just confused), a sadistic priest who maybe is supposed to be Italian, a completely different priest who [last episode spoiler], and three whole sinister white dudes behind it all.

It's not just the world coming to China, though! A large number of the Chinese characters are said to have spent significant time outside of China, whether for business or for schooling. Near the end, when some characters are discussing moving away from Shanghai, they consider a number of foreign cities as potential destinations.

Here's a delightful detail: When Lu Yao and his sister speak English, they're dubbed by actors with posh British accents who sound like native (or near-native) English-speakers. This makes perfect sense, because both of the siblings did a lot of their schooling in the UK. When Bai Youning speaks English, she's dubbed by someone who speaks English very well but also has a noticeable Chinese accent, which makes perfect sense for her character's background. And Qiao Chusheng never speaks English at all, because he's a street tough who has no reason to know more than three words.

...This is also kind of weird to say about something literally made in China, but go with me on it: Everything's kind of got that Art Deco Orientalist vibe to it. It looks like China's idea of what Britain's idea of China during that period would have looked like. The result comes across less like what 1920s Shanghai would actually have looked like, and more what an ad for 1920s Shanghai would have looked like. It's a fascinating aesthetic, and more so for how it's mostly pretty subtle. The show isn't some visual extravaganza, but it's always very nice to look at, and I appreciate that in a show.

5. A wonderful horrible protagonist

A lot of mystery-themed prestige television involves an asshole genius detective who gets away with being a dick to everyone because he's sooooo smart, while all his long-suffering friends and colleagues spend a lot of time doing damage control for him because, sigh, he's an asshole but we need him, genius excuses all dickhead behavior, we'll always make exceptions for him because he's just ever so special. (Watch histrionic sage hbomberguy's video on Sherlock if you're unfamiliar with the trope.)

Lu Yao is an asshole genius detective, but one who winds up spending most of his time being an asshole to a) people who deserve it, or b) his horrible friends who will be assholes right back at him. When he is awful to the people who don't deserve it, the show smacks him pretty hard on the nose for it and makes him apologize.

This is a show where you'll figure out pretty quckly if you'll love it or hate it, because if you love Lu Yao, you'll love it, and vice versa. He carries most of the show himself, with his goofy charm and his incredibly bendy slenderman body and his ability to make the one competent person he knows both protect him and give him money.

Like so.

For my own part, I find him intensely charming, and I think a lot of this has to do with Hu Yitian's ability to play him as an affectionately bullyable weenie who needs to get shoved in a locker for his own good. He's the worst, and it's comically endearing instead of offputting because at the end of the day, he really does have a good heart. He's just also lazy as heck and disinclined to do anything that he does not want to be doing, and really, aren't we all?

As I alluded to in point 3, he comes across as real asexual. He's just not that interested in sex, and he is in fact pretty uncomfortable in situations where he finds himself the subject of someone else's sexual desires. He's perfectly capable of romantic feelings! I mean, not only does he get Bai Youning as a love interest, we actually meet one of his ex-girlfriends. He's just not partciularly horny about them -- which is even more noticeable as a sharp contrast to how extremely horny Qiao Chusheng is for just about everyone, but this exasperating little dork in particular.

(Like seriously, 90% of the time, Chusheng is about to explode with sexual frustration at Lu Yao's skinny oblivious ass.)

This isn't to say you couldn't get Lu Yao into bed, because you absolutely could, and he'd probably have a good time. You'd just have to remove all distractions from the room, lest his ADHD ass wind up running off to solve a crime mid-coitus.

Twiggy little nightmare man. Garbage-animal boy. Love him.

sidebar: A word about the ending

I'm going to be vague and talk about general vibes instead of specific events, but you should still skip this section if you want to remain completely unspoiled. Jump to the picture of Chusheng holding the sledgehammer.

Okay, so, a lot of people do not like the ending, and I'm including myself in that number. I honestly don't know if they got rushed and had to wrap everything pretty last-minute, or if they thought they might get a second season out of it and were leaving things open-ended accordingly. Either way, it's incredibly unsatisfying.

I think there's a clue that the show didn't actually want to end this way, and it's not actually in the text of the show itself. Every episode, between the last scene and the start of the credits, you get to see a couple still frames from the episode (usually some of the queerbaity ones). After the very final shot of the series, you get two images: the boys hugging goodbye, and Chusheng's upset face. That's not a resolution! That is at best a "to be continued..." ending!

But no, that's it. That's all, folks.

It's not quite an ending so bad it ruins the rest of the show, mostly because it doesn't feel finished, so it's less like you're watching a car being deliberately driven into a wall because someone thought that was the best route to take, and more like you're watching someone leave a car on the railroad tracks because they figured they'd have time to move it later.

As far as I know, there has been no noise made about a second season. These 36 episodes are the entirety of the narrative. It had the distinct misfortune to start airing in March 2020, which wasn't exactly prime time for planning sequels, and that seems to have been that. (There is a 2022 show called Checkmate that stars the two main guys in extremely similar roles, also adapting Agatha Christie stories, but it's apparently pretty meh? Somebody else who's actually seen it, go ahead and weigh in here.)

I'll say that if you turn off the episode right after Lu Yao gets out the handcuffs, you'll save yourself the worst of it the awkward and unsatisfying moments (though I'm impressed at your willpower to stop watching something five minutes from the end). That's not all of it, though. Structurally, there are several situations rushed to a resolution and loose threads left flapping untied in the breeze. I guess stopping before the last five minutes simply saves you the hope that it'll pull a good ending out of the fire, because it won't.

And let's be real: The more you hate Bai Youning and her romance with Lu Yao, the more you'll hate the ending. (Not that liking those elements will necessarily make you like the ending, of course, because I'm a fan of hers and I still think the ending is butts.) The ending is already like a pair of uncomfortable shoes; if the het romance especially makes you grind your teeth, the ending becomes a pair of uncomfortable shoes that also have a rock in them. A lot of the comments online indicate plenty of people dropped the show when they learned the het romance would be endgame. It's a pretty common dealbreaker.

Oh well. Bring on the fanfic, I say! Those of us who are used to taking a sledgehammer to canon are unafraid.

Smash it, baby.

Still want to see some of these mysteries?

Both iQiyi and Viki have the answer to your sleuthing!

It's not a perfect show -- as evidenced by my digression about the ending -- but it's a lot of fun. If you can handle the occasional foible and some eyebrow-raising moments, you're in for a good time with some attractive people that occasionally tastes very gay.

Every roommate crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man

[laylawatermelon]

The K-Drama Of It All

Hello! My hyper fixation has (very unhealthily) latched onto this show so I'm gonna be analyzing.

First of all, I am a veteran in these spaces.

Very shy in real life I am an avid observer in all my fandoms but TRUST I know what's up at all times because of it.

This first analysis will be of the phenomenon of how they playing in my face with the classic K-Drama tropes and cinematic choices.

Let us begin.

Now we all agree that The Bear is a cinematic masterpiece right? Right.

I have been consuming media across all mediums since I was a kid.

I quite literally spent most of my life watching behind the scenes, in front of the scenes, and in between the scenes.

I'm also an aspiring filmmaker and screenwriter. As such I analyze stuff I like more.

I try to understand why they are the way they are.

Now that we got all the fluff out of the way let's get down to the nitty gritty.

*stands on soapbox*

Page 1 of 10000 ehem

In this this essay I will -!

Fr tho. Let's look at this from a K-Drama perspective.

I've spent about 10-12/13 years watching them. And luckily got into it during the golden era.

I literally watched She Was Pretty air (among others). Ex, Strong Woman, Descendants of the Sun (never watched; controversy+ bad attention span), School 2013.

So you know I'm (somewhat) of an og.

I'm those shows it's very formulaic.

This can extend to other Asian dramas but I'm going to try to stick to K-Dramas.

For example, the 10 ep rule. Must have a kiss or kiss in that episode. (Before is fine)

Now they're getting a little willy nilly and getting down in the first EP but I can argue they was down bad back then as well. Just more angsty longing looks.

(which tbf Sydcarm does all the time but it's 99% Carm though)

In KDramas there's something common in the cinematography that I'd call the halo of light. Almost all the time there are some form of beauty shots with them beautifully lit where they're together, the way they look at each other etc.

Which ironically they do with these two a lot on the show.

I know the show is gorgeous but you can't just explain away some of the choices.

I have watched and read a lot of discussions so this will be influenced by a lot of people. I will mention when I got the help from (if i can find it).

Now I just want to say I think this.

These following trope have been here since the dawn of K-Drama time.

Enjoy my infodump.

Firstly let's discuss this here:

1. The Meet Cute/Halo Effect

We've all been screaming to the void about the classic meet cute that happens with Carmy's life and him being constantly bombarded with noise and chaos.

Stylistically this wouldn't be a typical formula for K-Dramas as it leans more into Kmovie style (which valid The Bear was originally a movie) I think it's as textbook as it comes.

Now the original script (which I have read) had a story of different tone. Very Chicago and chaotic but still...

In this iteration of the script idk what the actors were on but JAW looked at the script and chemistry test and was like hmm yes.

A dramatic romcom. I see.

For her she's an ambitious woman who has (maybe a tiny crush) admiration for him cause like he's literally who she wants to be.

Young, talented and successful. He's made a name in their industry so of course she wants to work under him.

But he he's playing the male lead in an early K-Drama with the classic *she enters* and it's like the second coming out Christ being lit from behind her.

The classic 'I can't believe I never noticed how beautiful she is' in all dramas (and romcoms honestly).

You can also compare it to the corny slightly funny moments in slow motion when they miss each other/do the angsty look.

Like this.

Good old kdrama tropes.

What's interesting is that in their scene they do the opposite of what a K-Drama would usually do. They cut the music and let it become calm.

You get to breathe and relax and so does he. He feels at peace.

In K-Dramas, osts are a kind of a life line so they would most likely blare it when he has that realization.

And then at every other romantic moment after.

Another way that it could be is by using very like calm music (still the ost but still).

They do use this with having mostly romantic music in their scenes but it's usually quiet and a bit hard to hear or understand (unless you're analyzing like many of the wonderful people on this app).

Now you can argue her warm lighting in each scene from the finale and introduction represents his hope/life/good change being given back to him in the form of her (but if that's not the most romantic thing I ever heard).

Now for the flashback in the panic attack scene you could argue the blue tone he sees her in, as it usually represents some kind of sadness/distance/professionalism in this show, it can also represent his piercing blue eyes remembering her in the only shade they know how.

Good God that color grading is nuts. His eyes *ARE* the color Blue.

Now I want to talk a bit more about shot composition, color grading and color choices.

In a few interviews I've seen and read the editors, directors and others were quite serious about the shots and music they used were very much on purpose.

I mean come on.

Also Announcement from a novel/screenwriter:

EHEM

WE DON'T EVER INCLUDE NOTHING THAT CAN BE MISINTERPRETED IN SCRIPTS!

AND THE DIRECTOR WOULD DEFINITELY CUT IT IF IT WASN'T HOW HE ENVISIONED IT!

(/hj)

The most telling scenes is the beginning of omlette and the end of the episode before it.

The director had chose to show her tattoo that represents loss in a deep blue lighting which was actually in a similar lighting that Carmy and Claire were bathed in afterwards.

The quora search says it means pain, heartbreak, and emotional turmoil.

It also lines up with the rest of the shots with him preparing dinner with Claire and her being alone.

I believe this kind of represents the emotional cheating (?) going on between them as he practically abandoned her (and their child, The Bear).

(which is a wild choice for platonic coworkers)

As I've said before blue lighting is usually representative of sadness, coldness etc.

In the scene personally even without connecting it to shipping or everything the message came clear to me.

Suffocation.

He was quite literally being suffocated as in the last scene her body was on his as he stared in the distance blankly.

Honestly that shot was kind of heartbreaking because it feels like coercion in a warped way.

He feels like he should be happy, he should participate in these acts, he should be doing well.

He's fulfilling his family's wish.

So why isn't he happy?

That's my writer kicking in but that's what I got from it.

🥲 (gimme a sec i gotta cry)

But the same blue tone was used in his panic attack as the camera zoomed in.

Now the ironic part was that they used warm lighting for the scenes with Claire, but it's not that unusual.

Warm lighting has always been used to also represent a time period in the past in addition to good/warm times.

What's ironic is what's literally colored in what should represent good times isn't working.

He's remembering his family in those same tones. The past isn't helping.

But the future does.

Enter Sydney in blue.

Now blue usually represents sadness (or calm) but it's also used in futuristic scenes.

*They benefit from the cold clinical look i guess🤷🏾‍♀️*

Then he becomes calm.

I can also say that their kitchen scenes in early season 2 are blue coded but it has a calm feeling not a distant feeling. It ironically feel warm and calming despite the cool tone.

This appears in a couple other scenes in the show when he's showing her the work done in the early season.

But color wise it's usually warm tones with them as the color kind of transitions in that scene. It's half half.

His view is warm because he thinks she's good with what he did and hers is cold because he ditched her so yeah.

Now shot wise let's discuss because it's a bit obvious.

The staff head mentioned loving close ups to show the characters emotion but also to convey a sense of what's not being said.

An example of his uncertainty with Claire is the car scene. In most of his shots it's extremely close to her and gives off an awkward vibe.

But when you go to her perspective, she's more open and his shots show background and more of his character, also reflecting their relationship with each other,

This persists with the kitchen scene as well.

When I rewatch it it has that same quality. It's a bit more pulled out (obviously as they literally spent the night together so anyone would feel closer) but there's still an awkward/dreamlike feel like when its on her like she's not quite based in reality.

Or in Carmy's self sabotaging view, too good to be true.

In comparison to Sydney, the shots with her are almost always wide and open.

We see it with them as early in season one with the outside scene where he's staring her down and gets her to open up.

You can argue that almost all of their shots are as equals, or in the same frame with an openness that have/represents when they're communicating with each other. (I'm def writing about their communication)

Sydney's character is ironically what a male lead would be like and Carmy would be more of the female archetype.

Which I really appreciate now that I think about it.

The male lead is usually very successful/good at what they do, hesitant to share but when they do you feel it and know it's sincere. They're usually more bumbly with expressing when they're emotional but when they do its like a huge release. And when they love it's very obvious and excessive at times.

In comparison, Carmy is very expressive, sensitive and aware. He's devoted (Claire sorry but you don't quite count) to things he's passionate about, willing to communicate and has traits of sensitivity.

His eyes and body tells what he's feeling almost immediately. (Also JAW is just an incredible actor)

In Kdrama land their roles would be switched. Hell I can argue some American dramas as well.

Back on topic though.

The Halo Effect is there. Like all the time.

To my next point-

2. The She Looks Away, I Look At Her

Now you may argue this is very Disney Rapunzel, all that coded.

You will also be correct.

I am a Disney (more Nick honestly) kid.

This too applies to the K-Drama world nay I would say it originated there (it did not).

Do you know how many shows I can name where the male lead is just hopelessly in awe as he stared at the female lead because she just insulted him and he wants to tell her he loves her in every way.

Ring ring.

I heard The Bear calling. Yeah imma need you to clock out on this gaslighting.

time to fangirl

Look at the gif sets!

But honestly, it's a common way to show that the character cares and wants a person without outright saying it.

You understand the vibes almost instantly.

He likes her. He wants more.

She likes him. She wants more.

3. Matching Clothes

This one is a simple one but we all know how common it is in K-Dramas to have a matching something.

A good example of a recent show is Extraordinary Attorney Woo, and how they almost always matched even if he was in casual clothing and she was in office clothes.

You're supposed to get a telepathy feel from them. Like they're on the same wavelength.

In ships/shows they usually subconsciously brainwash you into details of a relationship by having them wear or have something that reminds you of them.

In wardrobe, clothing is meticulously planned to match characters financial situation and express their personality. The clothes tell the story.

And the story usually is we go together. Real bad.

So yeah, sure in this scene/episode they were more in tune and tandem and as time went on they became more disjointed.

Granted they do work in a place with uniforms but I digress.

And lastly my third point part II-

Same But Different

If this were a kdrama there'd be like 0.00% chance that they WOULDN'T happen.

First they're the main leads so duh, and second the way that they parallel each other is insane.

There are many edits and examples of them directly mirroring each other in certain situations.

Scrubbing the floors when feeling lonely seemingly in the exact same spot, stressing in the freezer, saying stuff at the same time and their weird telepathy and answering each other's - sandwiches (that's what I was gonna say).

(sorry)

And if any of you say work wife I will rage cause let me catch my man laying under a table like that!!!

Sparta!

But for real, yes there's intimacy and friendship and all that but I ain't everr look at my friends of either gender like that.

If did I probably had feelings and just kept em in. And did the Carmy puppy eyes (TM).

And yes we are aware Carmy is emotionally constipated like a coke bottle filled with mentos with a tight cap on and his lack of a social life coupled with his (many) different mental illnesses/difficulties.

So he probably doesn't even recognize or even want to recognize them as such and honestly as a 4 lifer

I'm really sad but I don't think he'll confess in the next season.

I'm making a post about it but I'm also uncertain about it lasting more than three seasons as thematically and the way it was intended to be a movie I feel kind of uncertain.

It can extend to 4 but it was intended and the way it's narratively been flowing its exactly like a 3 act structure just spread out (like butter).

The next season is after the dark of night aka main character loses everything.

This season was fun and games - quite literally him having amusement and such. (Training Arc!!) It ended with his demise I'd say.

Now there's no where to go but up.

I'm not saying that it's impossible, but a 4th season would likely be more aimed toward getting a star or maintaining a star etc and family ties and such.

That'd be most likely when, if any, outwardly romantic contact should happen.

But they might surprise me.

Butt honestly in KDrama land there's no way the set up isn't romantic even if it was just a chef or professional focused show.

I'd say it'd be standard honestly for ones focused on career with a dash of romance.

Ex. Miss Hammurabi (best example)

The Good Doctor (Japanese Version)

There's probably more but I exclusively watch romance so 🤷🏾‍♀️.

In Conclusion,

Yes. They are end game.

I also wanna say how odd it is that this ship is attacked by fans of the show and non fans alike because I've literally grew up in the age of Rise of The Brave Tangled Guardians.

There's nothing more random than that time period.

They all dated each other!

Like my guy there's a Tony the Tiger x Grinch fic and don't even get me started on the Onceler selfcest as different flavors of himself (/j i love stuff like this)!

My point is it's not that unusual for the two leads to be shipped. Same gender or not.

I also have years of teenage brain rot developed from eating movies for breakfast so I know more than you! (/hj) I'm obviously right!

I will be discussing some more of this in length at a later date.

But I rest my case.

I will retreat into my cave until next time.

[folksy]

getting on my dawn and connor soapbox again but I wish they got to meet! the monks making dawn from buffy because they knew she’d love and protect her. connor impossibly existing because angel was willing to lay down his life for darla to be human and living again. they both have so many issues with their existence and are the most important figures in buffy and angel’s lives. both being representative of trying to break the cycle (buffy sacrificing herself over dawn which is clearly compared to her and angel in season 2, angel wanting to be a good father to connor unlike himself as angelus to his male descendants like penn and spike along with his own issues with his father when he was a human). it’s too much.

[kindlythevoid]

I finished AC: Odyssey and the amount of RAGE I felt when watching the after-credits was UNREAL.

(Please be warned, there is a very long, angry, slightly incomprehensible rant underneath. Proceed with caution.)

Like, not even touching the fact that Kassandra put Herodotus’s manuscripts in the LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA (which made me super mad about the burning of the Library which means that she put it there for NOTHING and his writing is GONE and it makes me EMOTIONAL)

Okay, so I touched on it a little.

But other than that, seeing the little bit at the end? The little “Kassandra’s journey continues in AC: Valhalla”??? Unreal. Absolutely not. I get that she’s immortal (a lie; I really, really don’t and did not appreciate that story line because of the fucking plot holes that gives the rest of the series but it’s fine I’m fine I’m ironing them out as all angry fanfic writers do) but dear lord why is she in another game??

Okay, I have taken a second and reviewed my words. Allow me to rephrase.

I actually really like Kassandra. I think she’s great. I can deal with her outliving everyone (which she DOESN’T DESERVE) and fucking about like the world’s greatest cryptid (srsly do they explain why she never got in contact with the assassins when she so CLEARLY adopted their weapon-of-choice and are aligned in the same damn cause?). Part of me is rubbing my hands together and cackling at all the sand this gives me to play with in the sandbox of canon. Another part of me is screaming and bashing pots and pans together in front of Ubisoft.

Kassandra showing up in another game? Incredible. Fantastic. Start filling in those plot holes immediately. But also? Valhalla is a separate game. (I have my own rant prepared on what I’ve heard about the game, but that is for another day and when I have actually completed the game and have a legitimate soapbox to stand on.)

Please, please inform me if Ezio or… someone? Some other game has an end credit scene with “their journey continues” after everything?

Maybe I’m not the target audience. Maybe I’m too happy with plot to be in the AC fandom. But, dammit, this is where you go to when you want to scream about your opinion and by golly who ever made it this far is going to hear it.

Like, okay, I felt so tired when I saw those words. I was taken right back to the MCU (which I love and adore) and just felt tired. The MCU, at the moment, is churning out, approximately, a fuckton of content at lightning speed. Usually, I can wrap my head around it and move on. But they are leaving no time to digest, very little time (imo) for me to settle into a character and form a connection before the next show/movie/short comes out! And they’re rushing (imo) after COVID with movies that can and should be, I don’t know, pushed back or reviewed or something.

However, I’m deviating a little bit. Sadly, not enough. Because I see those words in Assassin’s Creed, my little comfort murder video game who brought me into the bubble of video games that I didn’t leave and got me attached to these characters, and I am filled with… not even dread; I’m just tired of it.

Like, okay, you start a game with an assassin and Some Guy who happens to be his descendant. Okay, cool. Next game, you introduce another guy, sprinkle references to the first guy, and give the descendant some quirky friends. You then build on this group of people for the next two games (totaling four at this point) before introducing yet another family through the same guy. Then you kill the guy. It is a big, emotional scene, presumably with some implications and effects (affects?) and what-not. But the family stays. The next game, the family stays. But you waffle between protagonists for no less than four games. But at least everything is entwined!! At least you’re going after Juno, the quirky friends from earlier show up and help, everyone gets a sad fun reference through the games.

So then you start over.

You are over ten games into this franchise and you start over. To be fair, it’s with a new protagonist and it feels right. It’s a good decision! It pulls things more mythologically, but it works. Presumably, you’re setting things up. And then you bring up Atlantis. And you introduce an Isu. And there is very little progress in the modern world, even though (again, as far as I am fucking aware) there is a humanity-hating Isu in the internet probably fucking things up for people.

And after all of these games, which focus on death, dying, and the permanence of said death, you make one of the characters immortal. Like. Good sir, are you well? And then you tell me that this immortal character, which throws quite literally everything that was built up over ten-ish games into question, is showing up in the next game. No, no, not showing up, continuing her journey.

There are a few instances that will probably be brought up if anyone has really strong feelings against me disliking this.

Ezio had three games, why does it matter if Kassandra shows up again? Because!! This isn’t!!! Her game!!!! If this was Odyssey 2: Electric Boogaloo, so be it, go for it, very excited for you, honey, you’re doing great. But this is Eivor’s game. As in, about Eivor and their journey.

Well, what about Altair in Revelations? It’s basically the same thing and you liked that game? Yes, I did like that game. I liked it very much. But Altair had something going for him that Kassandra does not. Altair was dead. So very dead. Extremely, extremely dead in a way that does not effect Ezio in any way, shape, or form except as someone to be studied and put to rest. Kassandra? Alive. Very alive. Able to make active changes to her environment (and then they fucking killed her as soon as we figured it out, I swear, Ubisoft, I swear—).

Alright, well, Conner Kenway showed up in Liberation and he was living and breathing? Yeah, as a celebrity guest star. He lead Aveline around, helped her kill some people, stood around awkwardly in the snow, and called it a day. Like, if that is all it is, then my problems are zilch. You can ignore this whole rant and sit smugly with the knowledge that you have a good told-you-so ready as soon as I finish Valhalla. But dammit you don’t phrase things like Marvel if they only make a guest appearance (and if that is a thing, then shame on you. Keep the surprise).

I would like, as a fun change of pace, for game plots (if applicable) to be thought out. Just a little. Maybe even, and this is where I get ‘em, connected. I would like to see wtf Juno is up to at the moment. I would like to see Shaun and Rebecca again. I would like a tangible plot that connects all of the games and characters together in a way better than aesthetic.

But, again, that is more my personal grievances with the modern missions that needs it’s own angry rant.

Kassandra, sweet murder darling Kassandra, is really trying my patience here. Ideally, I play Valhalla, find out that the Abstergo and the Juno storylines were picked up, Kassandra shows up for a hot minute before fucking off to who-knows-where, and this whole rant is for nothing. Heck, I’d take one of the three at this point. Because, and I think I’ve tagged it now, I’m interested in their independent journeys.

Now, admittedly this gets a bit sketchy when talking about the Assassins. They’re like Batman. Everyone thinks they work alone until you look behind them and there is an army of adopted/blood family backing them up and doing their own thing.

AC1 is about Altair’s redemption. It’s also about Malik’s long hard road to forgiveness. If you really want to dip deep, it’s also Maria’s break-out role and Al Mualim’s descent into madness. Ezio’s trilogy is the rise of the Italian brotherhood and Ezio’s quest for vengeance, justice, and knowledge respectively. You can also find his mother and her dealings with grief, Claudia and her own coming-of-age story, as well as Leonardo’s grappling with the outcomes of his inventions. AC3 was about Connor’s work-life balance as he pursued vengeance and protecting the colonies through helping the revolution and his own little homestead. It was also intertwined with Achilles coming to terms with all of the death that preceded his life with Connor.

I could continue, but I think you get the point. My point is, these stories were all about the individuals, their own personal journeys through grief and heartache and morality, as well as their affects (effects?) on the ones surrounding them, the ones closest to them. By introducing Kassandra into Eivor’s tale, it takes away some of that individuality.

Kassandra already told her tale. (Hell, you fucking picked her tale out for her. But that is a can of worms I’ll explain later.) This is where the torch gets metaphorically passed and Eivor learns their own lessons. While these games are very much stab/slash/kill games, they are also about the meaning of choice and responsibility (especially when dealing with death). They push that these moral lessons are something that should be experienced and carefully examined by each individual.

And quite honestly, as long as Kassandra doesn’t get in the way of Eivor’s lessons? If Eivor gets their own tale, their own emotional journey, without clashing with Kassandra’s? Then, yeah. Yeah, I’ll be happy seeing my favorite misthios running around a different time.

[tathrin]

Revan = Isildur but with Light Side ending how?

Oh, okay! So I haven't actually figured out exactly how things went down, and actually trying to write it out semi-coherently now may end up toppling the whole house of cards let's see lmao...

But: I've extended the existence of the Empire from 20 years to 400 (I picked that number because Revan was 4,000 years ago in SW canon so it's tidy to just lop a zero off, but there's no actual specific plot reason for why it's 400 years specifically; that might get shortened a bit?) because I want this to be something that's been going on for multiple generations. Likely the Empire did not take over quite so immediately in this universe, probably because it had to actually conquer some places instead of just slot itself in as the auto-replacement for the Republic? So it's been in complete control of the galaxy for less than 400 years, but 400 years ago is when it started.

Revan themself is a rather ambiguous figure at this point (because I LOVE ambiguous Revan! that's the whole point of the game! Revan has to be ambiguous enough that they can potentially be anyone because you need anyone to be able to be Revan! ahem sorry I'll get off that soapbox now) so no one's exactly sure how things went down...but the legend goes that Revan defeated the Dark Lord, but then Fell themself and that was how Dark Lord II survived to ultimately lead the Empire to victory in the end. So Revan died (or "died"? no one is sure! but they sure did disappear from the historical narrative at that point!) a hero, but their victory was short-lived and ultimately led to the Empire's rise and conquest of the galaxy.

Aragorn may or may not be an actual descendant of Revan, but he's definitely descended from the survivors of the Jedi Purge. They have lived in secret, at the edges of the galaxy, passing their teachings down, training any Force Sensitives they can get to before the Empire does, their numbers slowly dwindling. They often wander alone, trying to help without attracting too much notice; they do not wield their lightsabers, for those would be too noticeable. They do not call themselves Jedi in public any longer (although they always remember what they are; why it matters) but rather the Grey Company, for they bring light to the darkness—but the darkness is so thick now that it is only a faint twilight. But there is a prophecy that someday their light will shine forth again, and it will be time to replace the crystals in their swords, and blaze bright again in one final stand against the Dark Side that will decide once and for all the Balance of the Force. Aragorn has carried an empty lightsaber hilt and a cracked kyber crystal around for ages...perhaps one once carried by Revan themself?

But there is a second story about Revan, one whispered by the Grey Company among themselves: that it was in fact Revan who was the Dark Lord who rose from the defeat of the first one; that in order to destroy the Dark Lord Morgoth, Revan leaned too far into the Dark Side and fell. The power was too tempting and they became what they had once fought against, and went on to slaughter hundreds of their former friends and fellows in the formation of their Empire; in the great Jedi Purge that decimated the Order and sent its scattered survivors into shadows and hiding. Aragorn fears the temptations of power above all; fears that the Force itself might be his undoing, even as it is his guide and strength. Because if Revan, brightest of all Jedi, could fall then so could he.

So not Light Side Ending Revan, no...rather, we're set before the game begins (and the tales do not speak of whether Revan died as part of the Dark or the Light, because in the tales Revan dies before they could Fall). Most of the galaxy only knows the part of the story that ends with Revan's "death" in a Heroic Last Stand, a parry-of-two-widows situation if you will; they know that Revan destroyed Morgoth and was destroyed themselves in the doing...but they don't know that in this case destroyed does not mean killed, but rather corrupted. The Jedi know otherwise, but even they do not how the Dark Lord that was once Revan eventually died.

[northropi]

This. Even if GenAI perfected creating A Dude it doesn't provide any way to specify a structure that must be tweaked by a specific amount.

AI fails utterly at perspective, as laid out above, but also at anatomical and mechanical art. Dinosaurs with extra legs, fighter planes that are a scrambled mess of triangular surfaces, and I have zero hope it'll know what the fuck an antorbital fenestra or Divertless Supersonic Inlet is. If I went out and soapboxed this to a more visible platform than what I have I'd be flooded with about a trillion "it'll get there!" responses- but where is *"there?"* There would not be AI at all. There would be a tool to help me calculate ideal placements of structural elements or a model of a skeleton to pose to help with perspective, another tool to do the placing- ie, opening any 2D art program or 3D modeling software and just putting the stylus in the appropriate places- and then from there just the fucking fill tool to make a solid object of it, and a shader or brush for all the rust and texture and integument and shadow. Most of these already exist, and what aspects do not will not be descendants of current image breeding software- they will be welcomed by the greater art community as situational tools, where GenAI rots as a proof of concept that somehow grew into a cult, circlejerking itself as the end of all other forms of illustration. Riding off the anti-artist sentiments of the Monkey Jpeg army as the world's longest, most painfully forced Own The Libs bit. GenAI is a dead end.

We have perhaps made a mistake to describe AI as soulless, because that lets chucklefucks call it subjective and move on. No, what it lacks is something far more concrete: design. Style. Intent. Form. You're looking up images, same as going onto Google, except, wowee, technology, these images don't exist! Too bad they suck and you can't fix them. But, hey, at least the fucking teratoma you're trying to pass off as a Dragon will come out with pretty shading. Better light and shadow than I do honestly. Will look good on a wall, from the other side of a room, probably.

This machine kills AI

[mightbewriting]

Would you ever write a full length NottPott

hello! i dont currently have any ideas or inspiration for a novel length nottpott, but i'm definitely not opposed. it's all just a matter of time and inspiration!

and if i can be forgiven for getting on a very small soap box in order to go on a tangent for a moment (and to be clear, i do not assume any malice in this ask whatsoever. it just happened to hit on a very specific nerve of mine lolol). i realize this is intended to mean a *longer* nottpott comparative to the one shot i wrote. but just as a point of interest: one shots are full length stories. they just aren't always long.

i realize being a stickler for the semantics of it is super annoying of me, but anyone who's writing one shots, i think, deserves to be recognized as having written full length stories. they aren't incomplete, they aren't just random scenes, they have full story and character arcs and that's sometimes a lot harder to do in 5 thousand words than it is in 50. i have written a full length nottpott. i haven't written a novel length one.

as someone who spends most of her day reading and writing, i think how we word things is important.

[hopeless-eccentric]

re: Éowyn, I think the OTHER problem is that patriarchy is inconsistent in Tolkien’s universe.

Númenor seems to have developed it as an institutional force independently (LaCE’s whole section about Noldorin gender roles indicates that even if the author is a bit sexist the elves don’t seem to be, even down to an absence of a requirement that marriage be heterosexual*, and Haleth and Andreth respond to some gendered pressures but they don’t seem to be systemic) but challenges it through the legalization of absolute primogeniture. Despite this, Gondor and Rohan have their own versions of patriarchal norms, in contrast to Harad and potentially to Umbar. The Shire is written as a land of benevolent sexism, and yet Merry never questions Éowyn’s capacity to murder things with a sword when he realizes he’s been riding with a woman. So we’re left with this nebulous thing that obviously exists and impacts the life of one of the most significant female characters in the text, but that also clearly exists in a way that’s different from our own modern conceptions of patriarchy as all-encompassing and global even as the author isn’t thinking too hard. I wonder if a more feminist LotR written with, say, input from Joy Davidman, would have featured the non-Gondorian Aragorn calling out the patriarchy, but that’s simply because Tolkien tends to do those sorts of things in response to criticism (see Gimli).

* LaCE-compliant elvish marriage being queer-friendly is sort of my personal soapbox, I apologize

ok, so ill admit we're starting to edge out of my area of (if you can call it that) expertise since ive done the most research on the real-world mythological/literary connections within the Men (celts and anglo-saxons specifically, lord above ive read so many eye-splitting middle english poems in the last few months), but i would love to hear more about the stuff with gimli, which i havent heard about before!

also for the sake of transparency im about 2/3 of the way through the silmarillion until my local library's hold comes in so im a bit new here

so something ive done a lot of reading/writing on myself is that patriarchy in rohan/gondor is very closely tied to war and "warrior culture," i.e. this concept that glory via violence should be celebrated above all else and the association of this idea with masculinity. this is more prevalent in rohan than gondor, but tolkien writes that that the presence of a budding warrior culture in gondor is some sort of "fall" from a more peaceful (and implicitly wiser) culture of the past, which very well could be a reference to a more Elvish, numenorean culture (if im reading your ask correctly in assuming that numenor's culture isnt quite as patriarchal as we see in later ages)

so the thing that gets complicated is that these ideals of peace, wisdom, the arts, intellectualism, etc over war are strongly gendered. in The Feminine Principle in Tolkien, Menalie Rawls (who also saved my ass on that paper god bless her) suggests that a lot of the aforementioned traits associated with this "better" (i.e. aligning more with tolkien's internal moral compass for the book) numenorean-refugee culture are strongly in the feminine category, while the warrior culture stuff sits in the masculine category

so that leads to a bit of a weird point. i think a lot of patriarchy as we see it in lotr is related to this idea of the descendants of numenor falling away from their roots and becoming more hypermasculine (the thesis of Rawls's paper is essentially that tolkien's heroes are either expected to have an internal balance of gendered traits or an external one where they balance their gender expression with strong opposing forces to become their most heroic self, i.e. legolas and gimli, eowyn and faramir, varda and manwe, beren and luthien, etc) as opposed to their more balanced, and therefore, in the eyes of the book, "better" past. essentially, like the warrior-worship, patriarchy seems to be an adverse effect that centuries of war can have on a culture

the weird part of it is that i dont know if the whole fall from a golden age thing was supposed to include patriarchy as a symptom of societal decline or just had it coincidentally because tolkien personally associated femininity with peace. it feels like a bit of a chicken or the egg situation honestly

but, like most of tolkien scholarship, this all completely falls to pieces when you try to apply it to the hobbits. i would hazard a guess that the hobbits do a lot of weird shit that doesnt click with the rest of the world (i.e. golf, wristwatches, a mailman) because they're supposed to be the closest thing tolkien has to a normal english human reader in his worlds, so they probably dont have any views/cultural norms outside what someone in the rural england of his childhood would have. best i've got is a reason, but not an explanation

in certain pockets of the world, i think the culture of patriarchy is pretty well justified. however, i agree that there are some major inconsistencies. the hobbits, as per usual, break any theory you try to apply universally across the text. the crowning of aragorn, which is meant to represent gondor's rebuilding to its former glory, has very little to do with how women are treated (which does make me lean more towards the "patriarchy just came along with tolkien liking peace and not warrior culture while also gendering those two concepts" theory now that i think of it). if anything, femininity is treated better after aragorn's crowning (i.e. focus on healing, very gender-balanced king, rewarding small heroes, marrying an Elf, rewarding faramir, tree blooming again, so much celtic symbolism stuff i dont have time to get into but they were considered effeminate as well, etc). but that's how the concept of femininity is treated which is. yknow. different than actual living breathing women

so point is, 1) there's some insight onto why gender concepts look different among different cultures, especially with Men 2) hobbits confuse me

[liquidstar]

i love greek mythos, and obviously i have a cultural connection to it, so it holds some significance to me, but i also feel like i get greek mythos fatigue sometimes with how its presented in media, if that makes sense. of course its not a bad thing to use it in writing, generally i like stories that are based on mythology, and i totally take inspo from it too! but like. its everywhere, but even when its everywhere it also have absolutely nothing to do with greece. its one important aspect of the culture, sure, but the way its used is so so so so so far removed from like... actual greek culture that its totally moot point in that regard. 

like, when i see things based on the greek gods i dont feel like im looking at anything thats particularly greek. it doesnt feel greek at all, its just sort of an Ancient Aesthetic. like, this is just one example, but did percy jackson even have any greek characters? in its cast of kids descended from the greek gods? im not sure what the diegetic reason is for that, so im not directly critiquing the books here (idk enough abt them to do that). but its just one example out of many things that sort of just ignore the country that still very much exists! another reason im using it as the example is just because it takes place in modern times, obviously i dont expect things that take place in ancient times to have anything to do with the modern culture directly. like, i’m not upset that the hades game didnt have you fight any tsoliades (which is for the best either way. those uniforms are straight up goofy, even the cool as hell designs in that game couldnt save them)

of course im aware that there are more pressing issues of representation in the world than that of greeks, im not trying to soapbox here at all, or make this out to be a bigger deal than it is. im moreso just talking about personal feelings about how greek mythos and greek culture (or lack thereof) is handled in modern western media because its just a little annoying! (also i have covid on pascha weekend so this is how im being greek instead). but like, the first actually greek character i saw on tv as a kid was from the suite life on deck, i remember it super vividly because i was really excited to see a greek character on tv! but he was just like, a huge loud idiot who talked about playing with sheep guts or something, and would complain about how he owes everyone money, and had knuckles so hairy he had to shave them every morning. i dont think its the most offensive in the world, but im still not in love with that kind of portrayal, id honestly prefer greek gods devoid of greek culture lol

[tealchameleon]

It seems the issue rn is that people think that unless the candidate is 110% perfect in every way than it is morally wrong to vote for them/endorse them. Not at all considering the nuance and factors that are going into this election (the electoral college, our stupid two party system, the threat of project 2025, etc). Believe me Biden is not my favorite and I’d give anything to see a third party/socialist president but the way our two party shit works, it is just NOT possible during this election cycle. We need to stop clinging to that fucking fantasy and work with what we have while we can before it’s too late. Anything besides that is laziness disguised as activism and moral outrage.

And abstaining from voting altogether bc you wanna throw a fit about the options not being good enough for you; you are the WORST kind of person there is. You say you care so deeply about these issues that unless someone ticks off every little box of yours, you’re not going to involve yourself at all?? How on earth does that make ANY sense?? If you give a fuck about anything at all you would vote for the candidate that is most likely to win and also not start the Dark Ages 2 like trump will. And I don’t care what the fuck y’all say, any vote not for Biden (or not casted at all) is a vote FOR TRUMP. Republicans know this and believe me they fucking show up to the polls. The two party system does not give a fuck about your moral outrage, and while you stand back and fuss over Biden not being perfect, you are deliberately allowing trump to take the presidency. So not only are you not helping at all but you are also actively hurting the ppl you claim to stand for. It truly baffles me as to how so many of y’all think this is a legitimate act of political protest and not just… throwing a pointless and silent temper tantrum that will ultimately lead to many many people dying under Trump? HOW is that in any way better than voting for a man who may not be perfect but is still doing a lot for us???

BUT if we continue to push Biden left as we have been, we can show future candidates that America is ready for more leftist leaders. If you want to see leftist candidates in office then THAT is how you get them. Not by pitching a fit about it in the middle of the goddamn election or refusing to participate altogether. Just because you don’t like him as he is now doesn’t mean he can’t be pushed further left with more pressure from his constituents, another factor I think a lot of people are ignoring.

The solution is not going to perfect. Biden is not perfect. But millions of lives are at stake here and one man is obviously much better than the other, anyone saying they are on the same level is full of shit. Not perfect is better than nothing at all and descending into project 2025. But if you are the type of person that will not accept a solution unless it is entirely perfect for you, then you cannot pretend you actually give a shit about anyone these policies will affect bc we all know you really don’t, you’re more concerned about standing on your soapbox and telling everyone how enlightened you are by not voting for Biden. Meanwhile the support you could’ve given to Biden to protect the people you claim to care for, goes directly to trump.

I’m so tired.

So weird thing I'm noticing is that almost all of the people arguing with me on my "please vote" post have profiles saying they're trans.

But, like, I know a lot of trans people in real life. I'm nonbinary. A lot of my closest friends are also in the trans community. All of them are planning on voting for Biden.

Maybe it's just because we're all older -- and we all remember 2016.

Maybe.

But, like, if any of you are who you say you are, I beg of you -- please understand that things are going to get so much worse under Trump. Right now we're fighting at the state level in a lot of places, and activism needs to be focused there. But if we lose the White House, it's going to start coming from the Federal government too, and it's going to be so much harder.

It's just exhausting sometimes.

[qqueenofhades]

pel!ivan and fedyor went through a lot of ups and some downs from the end of pel and 2021 but they also celebrated 10 years together 🥳 i hope fedyor shoved cake into ivan’s face and also you know, im sure they were mushy like the saps they are

Ivan was supposed to be out of here ten minutes ago – actually, at this point, more like twenty – but the clients are still fucking talking, and if they keep it up much longer, he’s going to add it to the bill for “initial consultation.” Drew has a man-bun and unbearably hip black glasses, and works as a developer for some start-up app that he’s tried to convince Ivan to download at least twelve times. (What does the app actually do? Don’t know don’t care.) Mia is thin, blonde, waifish, smells like essential oils, and has been flitting around with her smartphone the entire time, getting in Ivan’s way as she snaps perfectly filtered pictures of the “developmental process” and posts them nonstop on Instagram. They both have a lot of opinions on how they want the energy of the space to feel, and a preapproved list of ethically sourced suppliers. They have paid some ludicrous price for this converted loft in Prospect Heights and chose the location for its proximity to the best farmer’s markets and hippie coffeehouses. Did Ivan die? Is this hell?

Somewhat ostentatiously, he looks at his watch. “Okay,” he announces. “I think that wraps up. You have work number, so – ”

“Oh, just one more thing!” Drew has recently read one (1) book on home design and thinks he’s an expert, so Ivan is forced to suffer his idiotic opinions about the kind of tile they want to use on the kitchen backsplash. Somehow, he manages not to roll his eyes directly out of his head, for which he should be commended. Ivan has discovered that the secret of successfully dealing with people, especially clients, is to smile and nod at everything they say, while mercilessly mocking them in your head. Amazing, the things you learn as a small-business owner in Brooklyn in the year of our lord 2021. Especially when it comes to renovating overpriced tiny gentrified apartments for insufferable techno-douchebags and their vapid influencer girlfriends. And people think Ivan might want to live like this more often? No fucking thank you.

Finally (it’s another ten minutes after that, this is definitely going on the bill), they more or less wrap up, except for the fact that Mia then wants a picture with the three of them. “It’s just so important to us that we’re supporting the immigrant community,” she explains earnestly. “After all, being open, tolerant, learning from our neighbors, people who are different from us, that’s what life is all about. We just love that you’re foreign. The energy feels so right, you know?”

Ivan wonders whether to inform her that he has lived in this country for eight years and been a full citizen (passport and voting rights and everything) for three, then decides that this would venture into sharing-personal-information territory and he is having none of it. His English has improved to the point where he can handle almost all business transactions by himself, but feigning incomprehension can sometimes get him out of them when they turn really stupid. Unfortunately, that isn’t an option here, and so he diligently leans into the frame, smiling half an inch, while Mia snaps a picture of “us and our adorable Russian contractor!!” Ivan informs her of the correct flag emoji to add to the filter, decides that he’s going to add an extra fifty bucks just for that, and finally, finally, makes his escape.

It’s rush hour, and the Q is crammed as Ivan heads into midtown. So much for social distancing and not getting too close to anyone, which is the only thing from the pandemic that he wouldn’t mind keeping. Only about half the crowd is wearing masks, including him, and so he gets off at Times Square, dodges the latest lunatic standing on a soapbox and shouting about how it is all a hoax, and walks several blocks uptown, just to get some space. He finally reaches the restaurant, where he has to flash his vaccination card to get inside (Ivan, who remains Russian to the marrow of his bones, is a little irked that he couldn’t get Sputnik here and had to settle for Pfizer) and climbs up to the open-air rooftop terrace. It is only when he spots his husband, waiting at a table that overlooks the glittering evening lights of the city, when Ivan pulls off his mask and allows himself to properly smile. “Sorry I’m late,” he says. “They are the worst.”

“I figured it was something like that.” Fedyor musters a smile in return, though his eyes look permanently tired these days and Ivan would bet that he’s been scrolling through more depressing emails on his phone. Technically Fedyor is on a two-month sabbatical from work, but he can’t stop himself, and Ivan has had to pry it from his fingers on a number of occasions. “But you’re here now. That’s what matters.”

Ivan nods stoutly, they are furnished with the drinks and appetizers list, and when the waiter asks if there’s any special occasion tonight, tell him that they are celebrating their ten-year anniversary, albeit somewhat late. This was supposed to happen last spring, but obviously, nobody in New York was going out to a restaurant in the early months of 2020, and Ivan himself had barely gotten home from the hospital and still could be knocked over in a strong breeze. They’re celebrating a lot of things tonight, in other words, even if it’s now been eleven years, not ten, since the day Ivan marched into a Red Square coffee shop and engaged in – well, Fedyor has made sure to inform him that the first date didn’t go nearly as well as Ivan always thought it did. But it worked, didn’t it? Here they are, wedding bands on their fingers, a couple of successful American urban professionals who have built a nice life for themselves and are, if anything, even more madly in love than they were when this whole nutty adventure together first began. So really, if you ask Ivan Sakharov Kaminsky, it went just fine after all.

The waiter congratulates them, gives them two drinks for the price of one, and they both relax and start to talk, fully at ease in the way they only are in each other’s company. Ivan does his Mia impression in an extremely convincing falsetto (after all, [NAME REDACTED] has practice at this) and Fedyor almost dies laughing. They hold hands on the table – no need to hold them under the table – and gaze into each other’s eyes all they want, order dinner and dessert, and take a long time about it. They raise several toasts to this, to them, to ten years, may there be many more. Ivan pays the bill, his treat, and they walk slowly back to Times Square, hand-in-hand, Fedyor’s head nestled on Ivan’s shoulder. It’s New York. Nobody cares.

They ride the Q home, in all its smelly, secondhand glory, taking an hour to bang out to Brighton Beach and descending the elevated stairs into the familiar down-at-heel comfort of their Russian-American neighborhood, neon Cyrillic signs glowing in windows and somebody shouting about how if Sergei ever shows his face here again, she is going to cut his dick off. Ivan and Fedyor look at each other and snort, resisting the urge to shout up and ask what exactly Sergei did, and walk a few more minutes to their building. They climb up three flights of stairs to their apartment, unlock the door and the deadbolt, and step inside.

The instant they are home, Rasputin shoots out of nowhere, yowling as if he has been neglected for months, and curls himself around Ivan’s ankles (he is still liable to give Fedyor evil looks when he feels that this interloper has been stealing his human too often). Ivan sighs, trudges to the kitchen, points out to Rasputin that his food bowl is still half full, gets a wounded look in return, and adds an extra scoopful. Once the cat is happily snarfing down, Fedyor pulls Ivan by the hand, into the dim living room with its blowing curtains. “Come here, my love,” he says. “Hold me.”

Ivan does as ordered, because it’s his favorite thing in the world: cuddling Fedyor close, nothing but the two of them in all of time and space, swaying slowly in the blue hour with fingers and arms and hearts entwined. Ivan kisses Fedyor’s temple, and Fedyor nestles even closer, melted into his embrace. “I love you, Vanya,” he mumbles against Ivan’s collarbone. “I love you so much. I love you more than anything in the world. I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I love you too, Fedya.” Ivan leans down and kisses him properly, sweet and slow and lingering, as they continue to waltz in stately time to a music that nobody except the two of them can hear. “I’m still not always sure why you married me, but I am very glad you did.”

[nevermindirah]

Ok it's Jewish Booker o'clock, I can no longer stop myself, let's do this!

Why Jewish Booker? Dude was born in Marseilles in 1770, which happens to be a FASCINATING time and place in Jewish history, and it adds ridiculous layers to his character (without excusing a damn thing). Alternately just because I think he’s neat :)

Jewish Booker headcanons that make me happy:

not to be all "real Jews do X" but Jews fuck with candles hard. Book of Nile thrives on old/modern analog/digital giggles. Booker lighting Shabbat candles, lighting yarzeit (memorial) candles for his wife and sons (sob), lighting a menorah, lighting candles just because he's feeling emotional even though it's not chag (a holiday) or a yarzeit and Nile thinks he's trying to be sexy but he's really just in his feelings. just like. so many candles.

maybe Booker was the person who punched Richard Spencer at Trump's inauguration, just bringing back that time somebody punched a famous neonazi in the street and said neonazi has all but stopped appearing in public after a few rounds of public punching

were the Old Guard in Charlottesville in 2017? how many times has Booker the Blond Jew infiltrated North American white nationalist / Klan type activities and then stolen their weapons and/or killed them? likewise there's plenty of horrifying white nationalist shit happening across Europe this century, how many Pim Fortuyn types has he been involved in taking down? (I Am Of Course Not Endorsing Violence TM ;) ;) )

SINGING. Mattias Schoenaerts sings in Away From the Madding Crowd but it's church shit, sigh, anyway he has a nice voice. a lot of Jewish prayer is sung/chanted (depending on when/where you are and the gender rules of the community you're in) and there’s been a lot of innovation to Jewish singing in Booker’s lifetime, and I just want Nile to overhear him singing to himself on Friday afternoons

Nile Freeman was four years old when The Prince of Egypt came out, she grew up on that shit, she would want to introduce her new family to that shit. Please join me in picturing Booker, Nicky, Joe, and Andy all shouting "that's not how it happened!!" throughout this beautiful nightmare of a movie with lovely animation and songs but where white people voice most of the Egyptian and Jewish characters, because Booker Nicky and Joe's religious texts all frame the Exodus story a little differently and Andy was probably there when it happened (except for how it didn't actually happen it's an important story but it's just a story pls just let me giggle about Andy being super old)

Read below the cut for sad Jewish Booker headcanons, French Jewish history (mostly sad), context on antisemitism (enraging/sad), and all the way to the very end for a himbo joke.

Jewish Booker headcanons, I made myself sad edition:

he is a forger. who was alive. in 1939. visas. VISAS. V I S A S. how many of us did he save? how many more could he have saved if he didn't sleep that night? how heavily does that weigh?

how do we think he BECAME a forger? most likely he was doing what he needed to do to support his family, which gets extra poignant if he was also trying to help his people, forging documents as well as money even during his mortal life

Booker raised Catholic by crypto-Jews adds ANOTHER layer to the forgery thing, no shit he'd get good at falsifying paperwork and coming up with plausible cover stories

do we know how Booker made it back home after his first death in 1812? his route between the Russian Empire and Provence in 1812 would've been a patchwork of laws about Jews, in case starvation and frostbite weren't enough for him to have to deal with, he's blond and could maybe get away with pretending not to be Jewish if he had to, alternately maybe synagogues and yeshivot took him in on his way home

the structural and sometimes-interpersonal dynamics of antisemitism cause many individual Jews to experience feelings of teetering on the fence between a valued member of a not-exclusively-Jewish community and a scapegoat/outcast/problem. HOLY SHIT BOOKER. "what do you know of all these years alone" is the most Jewish loneliness-in-a-crowd shit I've ever heard. fear that we're not wanted, or only wanted so long as we're useful — that's something that basically all people struggle with under capitalism, but it's especially poignant for many Jews because of the particular way antisemitism operates. (NOTE this can tip from a legit Jewish Booker reading to woobification of the sad white man who couldn't possibly be held responsible for his own actions because he's so sad, which, NOPE. it's very understandable for him to feel left out and misunderstood and not as wanted, as the youngest and not part of an immortal couple and maybe Jewish, but NONE OF THIS excuses his betrayal.)

Crusaders murdered a lot of Jews on their way to the ~holy land~. how many of Booker's people did Nicky kill on his way to kill Joe's people? has Booker ever actually talked to either of them about it?

I read this really beautiful fic about Joe needing to circumcise himself after getting run over by a cart (ouch) — this is a hell of a thing for Joe and Booker to have in common

just generally Jewish Booker adds more layers to him and Joe so clearly being such close friends, ugh that look Joe gives him when they're leaving the bar at the end of the movie, and I very much do not mean this in a gross Arab-Israeli-conflict way because Joe is Amazigh not Arab and Booker is Jewish not Israeli (and also a lot of Jews are Arabs) (but most importantly there's no ~eternal conflict~ between Muslims and Jews) (more about OP Is Not A Zionist below)

like, the UK and France (and to a certain extent Italy) carved up the former Ottoman Empire after WWI; among other things, the UK took Palestine, and they could've worked on eradicating European antisemitism so Jews wouldn't have to leave but instead they used their control of Palestine to encourage Zionist emigration of Jews out of Europe, and France took what is now Iraq, which has some pretty direct implications for US military involvement in that country in Nile's lifetime; France colonized Tunisia in the late 19th century and still held it during the Vichy era which means Tunisian Jews were subject to Nazi anti-Jewish laws which is just layers upon layers of colonial racist Islamophobic and antisemitic nightmares for Joe and Booker to live through

to be crystal clear before anybody gets ooh Muslim-Jewish conflict up in here, antisemitism is an invention of European Christians that they imported to the places they colonized, the European colonial powers encouraged Zionism because it was easier for them to encourage Jews to leave Europe and set us up as middle agents between the colonial powers and the ~scary brown people~, the Ottoman Empire and other Muslim governments historically have had a second-class citizenship category for non-Muslims that rankles my American first amendment freedom of religion sensibility but was very much not targeting Jews specifically, and these two men who've lived for a long-ass time through many varieties of geopolitical awfulness (and alongside a certain unwashed Crusader who has since learned his lesson) would have Things To Say about how our current mainstream discourses frame these things

getting off my soapbox and back to this action movie I'm trying to talk about, the ANGST of Booker's exile, which is simultaneously a very valid decision for Andy Joe and Nicky to make, an extremely long time for Nile who is only 26 years old to be separated from the one person on the planet in a position to really understand the crisis she's going through, and holy shit expelling a Jew from your group when he's already been expelled from mortality and his family and being expelled from places and continually having to start over somewhere new is THE curse of surviving through antisemitism, OUCH MY FEELINGS

Some French Jewish history:

France, like basically all of Europe, periodically expelled its Jews, but Provence (where Marseilles is) wasn't legally part of France during the expulsions up through 1398 so Provence had a continuous active Jewish community; about 3,000 Iberian Jewish refugees ended up in Provence after the expulsions from Spain and Portugal in the 1490s

the 1498 expulsion of French Jews DID apply to Provence but many "converted" to Christianity and reestablished a Jewish community when enforcement of the expulsion chilled out (which was in the government's interest because they were really into taxing Jews at higher rates, so much so that they taxed "new Christians" at higher rates once they realized expelling Jews meant they wouldn't be around to overtax, ffs) — by the mid-18th century Provence had notable communities of Jews and crypto-Jews (forced converts and their descendants who still kept some Jewish practices in secret)

Booker would've been 21 when revolutionary France granted equal legal rights to Jews in 1791 — his mortal life and first century of immortality happens to line up almost perfectly with the timeline of legal emancipation of Jews across Europe

the American and French Revolutions happened pretty much concurrently and took different approaches to religious freedom that make Book of Nile with Jewish Booker and canon Christian Nile extra interesting — French emancipation, at least from my American sensibility, is about secularism and religion not "interfering" (hence French Islamophobic shittiness about banning hijabs), whereas American religious freedom is more of "the government can't stop me from trying to evangelize / religiously harass people at my school/workplace/etc" — to be clear I think both countries' approaches to religious "freedom" are hegemonic as shit and have devastating flaws, but they're different models that emerged at the same time in Booker's youth and Christianity is clearly a source of emotional support for Nile and there's so much to explore here

Napoleon tried to ~liberate~ the Jews of places he conquered for his dumbass French Empire, but liberation from ghettos came with strings attached (like banning us from some of the only jobs we'd been legally allowed to have for centuries, and liberating us for the stated purpose of getting us to assimilate and stop being Jews) and many places that were briefly part of the French Empire reinstated their antisemitic laws after Napoleon was gone, can you imagine being a French Jew forced to fight and die in Russian winter for that jackass and then have to trudge back through a dozen countries whose antisemitism was all riled up by French interference?

Some facts about antisemitism:

antisemitism operates differently than many other oppressions, it doesn't economically oppress the target group in the same way as antiblackness or misogyny or ableism etc — the purpose of antisemitism is to create a scapegoat to blame when European peasants are mad at the king / the church / the people actually in charge, and structural antisemitism encourages a system where some Jews become visibly successful so that those individuals and our whole community are easier to make into scapegoats

one of the historical roots of antisemitism is stuff in the Christian Bible about moneylending as sinful — Jews in medieval Europe were often barred from owning land and Christians barred from moneylending, so some Jews found work in finance and some of us became very visibly successful for working with money — a few individual Jews running a particular bank or finding success as jewelry dealers turns into "Jews control global financial systems" scapegoating — a more recent example of this is the participation of nonblack Jews in white flight and the role of Jewish landlords doing the visible dirty work of non-Jewish institutions in American antiblack housing discrimination, Nile grew up on the South Side of Chicago and would have seen some shit along these lines and might repeat hurtful ideas out of a lack of knowledge, here's Ta Nahesi Coates on some of these dynamics

Booker canonically being a forger (specifically of coins in the comics?) needs a little extra care to avoid antisemitic tropes about Jews and money, I will happily answer good-faith asks about this if you want to check on something for a fic/etc

antisemitism in the United States where I live in October 2020 isn't institutional in the sense of targeting Jews for police violence or anything like that. it IS systemic, however, for example in all the antisemitic conspiracy theories the Trump administration and several other Republicans peddle (ie QAnon), and in how the Trump administration points to support for Israel as if that means support for Jews (it doesn't, it's evangelical Christians who push the US government to support the Israeli government because they think Jews need to be in the ~holy land~ for Jesus to come back that's literally why the United States funds Israel at the level it does). antisemitism also gets weaponized to encourage white Jews (those of us of European descent, who in the United States are definitely white because the foundation of US racism is slavery and antiblackness as well as anti-indigenous genocide, maybe European Jews aren't included in whiteness everywhere but we definitely are where I live) to side with white supremacy instead of building solidarity with other marginalized people (ie a lot of mainstream Jewish groups shit on the Movement for Black Lives because of its solidarity with Palestinians)

the Nation of Islam has a major presence in Chicago and its leader Louis Farrakhan who lives in Chicago has long spread a variety of antisemitic as well as homophobic bullshit but there are genuine good reasons many Black people find meaning/support in the Nation of Islam and Nile would've grown up with that mess in the air around her, this is a good take from a Black Jew about the nuance of all that

the way the Old Guard comics draw Yusuf al Kaysani is HOLY SHIT ANTISEMITISM BATMAN I hate it please summarize the comics for me because I DO NOT WANT to look at that unnecessarily caricatured nose why the fuck did they do that human noses are beautiful there is absolutely no need to draw Joe like a Nazi would

Jews for Racial and Economic Justice is a local NYC group that recently developed a fantastic resource for understanding and fighting antisemitism (pdf) 11/10 strongly recommend

Zionism disclaimer: A lot of Jews feel strongly that we need a Jewish-majority country in order to be safe from antisemitism. I strongly disagree with this idea on its merits (Jews disagree about who is a Jew and making Jewish status a government/immigration matter means some of us are going to get left out; also non-Jews aren't fundamentally dangerous and separatism isn't going to end antisemitism) but I have a lot of empathy for the very valid fear that leads a lot of my people to Zionism. Whether I want a Jewish-majority country or not, what Israel has done and continues to do to Palestinians is a deal breaker. Emotions run very high on this subject — I spend a lot of my not-Tumblr life talking to other Jews about Zionism and I'd rather not have this Jewish Booker headcanons post become yet another place where fellow Jews yell at me in bad faith. Block me if you need to, you're not going to change my mind. Call me self-hating if you want, I know I love us.

Racism in fandom disclaimer: I feel weird about increasing the volume of meta about Booker in this fandom. Nile Freeman is the main character and deserves lots of attention and adoration from the fandom — and she deserves emotional support from as many friends and orgasms from as many partners as she wants. I think Jewish Booker makes her friendship and potential romantic relationship with him even more interesting, hence this post. Ship what you ship, but be aware of the racist impact of focusing your fandom activity on, for example, shipping two white men while ignoring awesome characters of color especially the canon man of color one of those white dudes has already been with for a millennium. Please and thanks don't use my post for shenanigans like sidelining Joe so you can ship Booker with Nicky.

Oh and a non-disclaimer fun fact, Matthias Schoenaerts was born in Antwerp which apparently has one of the largest Jewish communities still remaining in Europe?? ~Jewish Booker headcanons intensify~

In conclusion: Jewish Booker! Just because it's fun! It exponentially increases the angst of his mortal lifetime and it puts his first century of immortality smack in the middle of the most intense changes to Jewish life since the fall of the Second Temple (aforementioned emancipation, also founding of Reform Judaism, the Haskalah, Zionism, and then of course the Holocaust). It makes his relationships with Nile, Joe, and Nicky more interesting and potentially angstier and with more intense commonalities and tenderness about their differences. It's very common for Jews to not believe in God (this confuses the shit out of a lot of Christians) and this would probably have further endeared him to Andy.

One more thing: Booker as golem. (A golem is basically an earthenware robot of Jewish folklore.) He's tall and blond and the most Steve Rogers-looking of all of them and from the Himbeaux region of France. THE trope of Book of Nile is he will do WHATEVER Nile wants or needs him to do. I was today years old when I learned that Modern Hebrew speakers use golem figuratively to mean "mindless lunk" and I'm choosing to squint and read that as "hot kind and dumb as rocks" because it amuses me.

[breelandwalker]

I'm glad you asked! The short answer is, "It's not relevant in this case."

Murray's claims rested entirely, per her own citation, on 16th and 17th century witch trial records from England, and those claims were that the accusations made by prosecutors and village gossips were accurate representations of the alleged activities of a supposedly real secret pagan witch cult.

You know, instead of accusations borne of fear and superstition and propaganda being leveled at innocent people, many of whom were tortured or executed as a result, which is and was the viewpoint of the rest of academia regarding European witch trials.

Whether Murray's claims are similar to other pre-Christian traditions still existing in the world is irrelevant because her work does not cite evidence from anywhere but England and a few briefly-mentioned examples from mainland Europe. Furthermore, a similarity of folk belief between two or more rural agrarian populations separated by several thousand miles and centuries of time is more reflective of a beautiful similarity of human experience with regard to the natural world and the annual harvest cycle than it is evidence of some grand unified underground pagan cult.

Are there pre-Christian traditions that still exist in the world today? Yes.

Are there elements of pre-Christian traditions extant within modern Christianity? Yes.

Is their existence proof of Murray's claims? No.

Sycretism and cultural blending have been happening for centuries all over the world. It is not unique to Europe or Christianity, and while remnants of previous traditions may be preserved in this way, it does not mean that the entire tradition survives intact and unchanged. The myth of the "unbroken line" of witches passing down a secret matriarchal pagan tradition from pre-Christian antiquity to the present day is exactly that - a myth.

(And if I may step onto my soapbox for a moment, we are not the descendants of the witches they failed to burn because there were no witches involved in the witch trials to begin with. Witch trials, historically speaking, are almost never about actual witches. The victims of these trials would NEVER have independently identified themselves as witches as we understand the term today, and the fact that members of the witchcraft community continue to try and cite them as martyrs to some great secret pagan cause irritates me to no end.)

hi Bree! I am currently doing research on modern paganism as a whole, and have come across a few passages about how some practitioners claim to follow an 'old' or 'the old and true' religion. I know Margot Adler mentions this briefly in "Drawing Down The Moon" (page 77) - but I'm wondering if you've seen any other sources on this? I want to learn more about the origins of this 'old and true' religion, but none of my regular resources are turning up anything of substance.

-gasps in Witchstorian- Is it time? I think it's time. Excuse me while I put on my very best hat.

Today, we're going to have a chat about MARGARET FUCKING MURRAY and her thoroughly discredited theories about a Great White Western Witch-Cult. (I have plans to do a wholeass podcast episode on this nonsense in the coming year, so consider this a warm-up. I should also note that debunking claims of an Ancient Unified Religion of Witchcraft is part of how I first earned my stripes as a fledgling Witchstorian. So this be my wheelhouse and I welcome ye to it.)

In her 1921 book, The Witch-Cult in Western Europe, Murray put forth the theory that the ceremonies and rituals detailed in witch trial documents were actually descriptions of practices utilized by a matriarchal pagan fertility cult whose adherents had survived in secret following the Christianization of the British Isles. She pointed to a number of historical personages accused of and/or executed for witchcraft as members of this alleged "Old Religion," presented the idea of "flying on broomsticks" as a ritual activity involving a leaping dance with brooms held between women's thighs (the handles being smeared with a hallucinogenic salve), and claimed that the "Horned God of the witches" was later twisted into modern artistic depictions of Satan as a method of quite literally demonizing these supposed pagan ways. Furthermore, according to Murray, the cult had survived into the present day in the form of a certain secret groups in rural areas of Britain. (It should be noted that while Murray did not invent this theory, she was its' biggest and arguably most legitimizing proponent in her day.)

If any of this is sounding familiar, you get a cookie.

Gerald Gardner was a big fan of these theories and further bolstered the claims when he touted the New Forest coven as a surviving group from the "Old Religion." He incorporated many of Murray's claims into the early framework of his own myth-building. If you read Witchcraft Today (1954), you'll see a lot of Murray's work repeated as a framework for Gardner's own theories on contemporary witchcraft practices, which later became the basis for Wicca.

The issue here is that Murray was working with both a flawed premise and a really terrible use of source material. Repeatedly, she cited superstition, prosecutorial arguments, and confessions from accused witches from 16th-17th century trial records as fact, completely ignoring that none of this had any physical evidence attached to it and that confessions were often made under torture or the threat thereof. She also cited a lack of evidence as alleged evidence of a coverup by the Church and the Crown, or the cult itself covering its' tracks. Even her contemporaries viewed her work as fringe theory and it's largely because she was invited to write the Encyclopedia Britannica article on Witchcraft and the later use of her theories in the creation of Wicca that she's taken seriously by anybody at all.

While Murray's claims are thoroughly discredited, almost literally laughed out of academia during her own lifetime, certain sectors of the modern witchcraft and pagan communities still cling to this idea of a secret surviving pre-Christian goddess cult. I can fully understand why this is tempting, given the romantic notion of clandestine meetings and bonfire dances out in the woods, as well as the need of some modern witches to feel connected to some form of borrowed martyrdom as a mirror for their own feelings of disenfranchisement. No serious scholar of the early modern period or the history of witch trials during that time considers Murray's work credible and modern historians are prone to cringing whenever her name is mentioned.

So yeah, if you see a work on modern paganism or witchcraft referring to "the Old Ways" or "the Old Religion," that's very likely what it's talking about. Margot Adler and Ronald Hutton, both noted and credible authors writing about the modern witchcraft movement, mention Murray's witch-cult hypothesis in their books....but mostly only to say what a crock of shit it was.

For further reading, I recommend Jacqueline Simpson's 1994 article, "Margaret Murray: Who Believed Her And Why?," Ronald Hutton's "Triumph of the Moon," and the Wikipedia article on the witch-cult hypothesis (purely for a condensed version of how the theory came to be and how it has affected modern thought).

I'll leave you with this quote from A New History of Witchcraft: Sorcerers, Heretics and Pagans (Russell and Brooks), regarding Murray's work:

"That this 'old religion' persisted secretly, without leaving any evidence, is, of course, possible, just as it is possible that below the surface of the moon lie extensive deposits of Stilton cheese. Anything is possible. But it is nonsense to assert the existence of something for which no evidence exists. The Murrayites ask us to swallow a most peculiar sandwich: a large piece of the wrong evidence between two thick slices of no evidence at all."