#ok really getting off the soapbox now

[brightening-the-stars]

I was going to try to yap in the tags but it was too many characters, so for a bit of irrelevant commentary-- I'm personally fascinated by stories that follow semi-utopian societies in which a group of people has solved a bunch of problems caused by life under capitalism, but also thrown out a few desirable aspects of our current system as they built something entirely different. I think Ursula LaGuin's "The Disposessed" and Lois Lowry's "The Giver" do this especially well. (I've linked the Wikipedia synopses in case anyone is interested, though I would absolutely recommend reading both books!)

My tastes are partially driven by my politics (I really love stories that try to create realistic anarchist societies that maintain a level of technological sophistication similar to our own) but I think these stories are also just really engaging literature, because we get to explore the world through characters that take for granted things that we dream about, and dream about things that we take for granted. Because of this, they can avoid being prescriptive or preachy, and there's a pretty clear route to an interesting plotline as the characters dive into the non-ideal aspects of their organizational systems and try to rebel against or improve them.

I think solarpunk would lend itself really well to this sort of thing! What would it take, to unify people to create this sort of a future? What would we lose along the way? Even if we think these losses would be worth it, what would our great-great-grandchildren think as they are growing up in the world we've created? They should be allowed to complain about their world in a nuanced manner that recognizes that a broken utopia doesn't have to be cartoonishly oppressive. Work that criticizes aspects of a possible solarpunk future without reducing it to something monatonically bad would allow us to more clearly examine the flaws in our ideas and envision a realistic future.

(as a disclaimer, I'm not all that familiar with solarpunk so im not sure if this is coherent?? Also tagging @guutzprojects bc we were discussing similar ideas recently!)

I think a lot of the reason there's not been a ton of big solarpunk-style media is because it's inherently utopian and that leads to a real lack of conflict. Which is a shame that there's not a lot, because I LOVE how Solarpunk looks! But A lot of it is very big-scale from what I've seen; theorizing about ways man can integrate technology with nature, but not really what man is actually doing after that. What are the kinds of lives people would live in a solarpunk city? Surely actual human stories don't simply end because a lot of our needs are met. There's gotta be something!!

[dionysianchub]

Hi! Was just wondering if I could ask for some advice! Long story short I recently realized I was into soft feedism as a male feeder! I brought it up to my partner who LOVES to eat and eating already makes her feel so happy well we tried to connect food and pleasure and unfortunately it brought up trauma and insecurities! Well we are conditioning her to become a hopelessly addicted fvck toy already so I decided to start trying to subconsciously condition her to connect the two! I think it’s going good within the last week I’ve been praising her when it comes to eating lots of you’re doing good or good job when she finishes asking if she’s excited for her meals or snacks as well as praising burps and telling her she’s a good girl when she eats until she says she’s full which latley she says that then has a couple sweets on top of it! She’s starting to mindlessly moan while eating eyes rolling back and all! As well as eating more than she ever has before and now I can visually tell she’s more rounded and stuffed throughout the day this past week with no complaints like before!! Also the past couple days specifically when I’m pleasuring her I make sure to do lots of belly rubs during especially during cumming or orgasms! In fact last night I’m pretty sure I caught her rubbing and kneading her stomach by herself while I was pleasuring her! Do you think these are good signs? Also do you have any tips?

I have to be honest, this sounds Super Duper Not Okay. I actually put my phone down and came back to this to read a second time, just to make sure I wasn't misreading, and it sounds like you're saying that you're trying to subconsciously coerce her to be okay with something that was very traumatic for her, without her express consent. I truly, sincerely hope I'm misunderstanding the situation; because if I AM reading this right, this is intensely fucked up and something that is never okay to do to your partner. CNC is great and can be very pleasurable, but the key is the consent and verbal communication of intent. She may be happy right now, feeling like she can eat whatever she wants and is getting praise for it, but if Feedism was already triggering for her, it is likely to be problematic down the road. Best case, she decides she's okay with it, but you tricked her into it. Worst case, she's having a bad day or is already down about something and realizes that she's gained weight, and it retriggers that trauma she already expressed - the trauma you chose to ignore and take it upon yourself to condition her without her input. Based on her current responses, she very well could be into this, but weight gain can still be deeply traumatizing for people who have experienced fatphobia or abuse. I myself spent years unlearning the things that were inflicted on me to feel comfortable as a gainer, and I STILL have my off days. It is so, so important that she has a voice in this.

I always tell people Feedism is, in my opinion, one of the most extreme kink/fetishes you can have, because most other kinks can be put away in a drawer when you're done, or washed away in the shower. This is permanent. The subject of the weight gain has their body physically and visibly altered, in a way that can be traumatic and severely detrimental to their long term health. You have to make a conscious choice to do it anyways.

I really do hope that a word or two were left out that would help me realize this was her decision too, and if that's the case, I am very sorry to have soapboxed at you - you can let me know, and I'll be happy to give my input based on my own experience bringing partners into this space.

But if anyone reading this thinks the above is ok, the thought I want to leave you with is that this is exactly the scenario - that maybe (hopefully) only a fraction of a percent of us actually do to our partners - that gives everyone outside this kink the impression that we're evil, manipulative, and creepy. If you do this, they're not wrong.

[paddingtonfan69]

ok getting on a soapbox about fanfiction for a second, apologies!!!

~four years ago I got back into writing fanfic in a big way and it was a true joy! one of the reasons it was so great is bc of the ol ao3 comment section! ofc hearing all those nice things was swell for my ego, but beyond that, it was a tool for building community. literally next month I am going to a the wedding of a friend that I originally met the comment section of ao3, how cool is that!!!!

but in the last four years, the comment rate has dropped like hell and everyone knows it!! there are a myriad of reasons that ppl smarter than me have noted, like people treating ao3 like social media or a transaction or an algorithm or whatever. bad stuff!

i’d never really felt the comment drop off as much maybe bc I’ve mostly been in smaller (and more desperate lol) fandoms, but this weekend I dropped a little agatha along fic. (which you should all read hehe it’s fun!) but this, as we know, is a fandom that is very popular right now! and boy that’s a different experience. so let’s look at these stats:

okay brag that it got over 500 kudos in two days, wow slay! but, as you can see, there are also only 17 comments. only 3.4% of the people who liked it thought it was worth saying a nice little thing?? come on girlies we can do better than this!!!

obvi part of it is me wanting the little dopamine hit, but it’s more than that! this is coming from someone who’s fic is doing WELL, like imagine you’re newer to writing fic and you don’t get those wonderful notes of encouragement to keep going!! fandom can be such a welcoming place and ao3 comments are truly such an easy and kind way to open the door to that community! do better!!

i’m tagging the fandom hehe bc I looove to inspire some good old fashioned shame :)

anyway if you’ve read this, go comment on a bunch of fic bc it makes people’s days!! okay bye!!!

[bitchslapblastoids]

dumb fic thoughts that are going to sound whiney and like personal complaints but i promise are really me talking big picture about the state of fic engagement on ao3. and i know i've been on this soapbox before and I KNOW everyone who follows me is a homie so i’m really just old man yells at skying about this again, but just let me say all the quiet parts out loud please. I do not wish to be aloof and demure.

1. hits to kudos ratios are so fucking bleak. and i don't mean wrt my own fics, i mean in general, the two numbers side by side is always so dismal to see. hits are kind of a meaningless metric, esp for chaptered fics and for fics that people return to to reread, so i wish ao3 just wouldn't publish them, because it sets up this weird pair of numbers for people to compare and jump to conclusions based upon, even though they aren't actually informative for anyone. Why do I want to know how many people clicked on something? That doesn’t tell me anything.

2. That being said (to make it about me now), I know I’m a good fic writer. and while obviously my fic isn’t going to be to everyone’s taste (puppet smut isn’t a crowdpleaser wym??), I feel pretty confident that out of the 250+ people who have clicked on my brand new fic so far, more than just 17 of them must’ve liked it. which brings me to…

3. people can get so cagey about leaving kudos on explicit fics. this is a time-tested truth. let's let go of this phenomenon! I promise no one's stalking where you've left kudos. if they are, they're a freak. and if they're judging you, they're especially a freak because HEY LOOK, they wouldn’t have seen it if they weren’t on that fic too lol! let's all try and shake off these fucking shackles of sexual shame and stigma.

4. similarly, the # of bookmarks that i can see on an explicit fic i've posted vs the # of bookmarks the public can see is so funny. This one makes more sense to me and I can understand why bookmark choices feel more private. But i will say again, people aren't judging your bookmarks. even if it's smut! no one cares what you get horny about and probably the only reason they'd be looking is bc they trust your judgment and they'd like to get horny about it too lol.

5. lack of feedback/interaction is such a scourge. We all gotta fucking engage with the writers we like! it means so much and it's such a great way to build a mutually supportive community. Also, people who have left comments on my fic and vice versa are the people i became most immediately PALS with on here. It’s a lovely thing to do and it’s not time intensive I promise! Authors don’t seek comments for validation but more because publishing fic is sharing this thing this offering that you became so obsessive and giddy about that you had to literally create it and once it’s out you just want to be giddy and obsessive with others about it.

6. Obvs no one should feel obligated to leave kudos or bookmark or comment on anything they don’t like. Be a discerning reader and engage with what brings you joy! There’s a ton of shlock out there. No one has to pretend to like it all. But societally I feel like we’ve become such selfish consumers - I see it in streaming our favorite music for .0000000000000000000000000000002 cents, in the erosion of concert etiquette, in the rabid sense of entitlement towards celebrities’ attention and time, in the uncredited circulation of other people’s art without a second thought, and in the way apparently only ~10% of readers leave kudos, which are a paltry way for an author to get a sense if someone liked something enough to take the most bare bones possible step of simply tapping a button (you don't even have to have an account! you can leave kudos as a guest!). that's a bummer. I don’t want fandom to be a selfish one-sided space where we’re just taking what we want instead of connecting or building together.

Ok, that’s all ✌️✌️✌️

[pvnkassbvtch]

additional, less organized tips for executive dysfunction:

do not betray yourself by failing to provide the reward you promised yourself for finishing your task. Build trust with yourself and follow through on that reward!

actually following through on nice things in general helps make it easier to follow through on not as nice things, at least for me. I get to practice following through on something that's intrinsically rewarding, which makes it easy to do, and then on less rewarding things I have a better sense of how "follow-through" actually works which means sometimes I can actually make it happen.

if there's a chore you never do, it's really helpful to figure out why. then you can come up with creative ways around the obstacle. Do you forget to use the trash can because it's far away from where you eat your snacks? You can put a trash can where the trash happens, anywhere in your house.

generally speaking instead of trying to force things that already aren't happening, find a way to make your tasks easier to do. When I need to clean out the fridge, I bring my desk chair into the kitchen and set it in front of the refrigerator so I can sit instead of bending over and rummaging for five to fifteen minutes while standing up. It helps me see everything better too.

another way of looking at it is just "cheat". nobody's scoring you on your life. if it gets done and you reap the benefits and it doesn't hurt, you win. Good job!

actually doing necessary tasks should never hurt, if you can avoid it. people who are Great At Tasks do not have to suffer to get them done, and neither should you. that doesn't mean you don't gotta do what you gotta do, it just means you get to be creative about how you do it.

So there's one or more things you need to get done

ask yourself:

do you want to get the thing done? like even if you don't enjoy the idea of doing it, is "doing the thing" still what you want to happen?

if you think about how important the thing is to do, and the consequences of not doing it, does that make you feel empowered to get it done, or does it make you anxious?

is this a thing you've done before? do you know how to do it? do you already know the first step and the steps that come next?

do you actually have enough energy to do the thing? are you mentally or emotionally exhausting yourself with expectations around how the thing is to be done instead of doing it? have you done too many things today? have you given yourself permission to relax in the last [week/month/etc]?

These are the questions I usually forget to ask myself when I'm struggling to do something and beating myself up about it.

If you want to get the task done, your problem is not with motivation. If you feel a sense of urgency towards the task and still can't bring yourself to do it, that doesn't mean you don't take the task seriously enough. If every time you try to move towards doing the task your brain mysteriously bounces off of it, that doesn't mean you're not trying to do the task. And if you continuously expect performance from yourself without giving yourself permission to slack off once in a while, you're going to be too exhausted to complete most tasks even if you haven't gotten much or anything done. All these things mean is that you're struggling to produce the executive functions necessary to complete the task. And usually that means you need help, or at least a different way of doing things.

Some things you can try if you're struggling with starting a task:

ask someone else to tell you when to begin your target task, and make sure that you actually begin.

ask someone to explain to you, from beginning to end, what the process of the task will look like, as if you'd never heard of the concept before. Tweak this if the response you get is too detailed or too condescending (or not detailed enough). This would have saved me so much heartache the first time I had to like.. file my taxes. It's okay to explain that you need to be able to visualize the process all the way through and you want someone to help you fill the gap in your brain.

don't start the "whole" task, pick a small-enough segment of the task and start with that. Wash one single dish, open the confusing administrative website and log in or make an account. Get something done that will make it easier to do the rest later, even if you don't get very far.

physically move your body towards the task. It might actually help to do something unrelated that you like doing, in the physical location you need to be working. Then while you're there, you can either fully switch to the target task or you can do bits of it in between something you like better.

Some things you can try if you're having trouble finishing a task:

assign yourself an external reward for finishing, or remind yourself of something you're looking forward to once it's done.

half-ass it. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly! Ask yourself if it's actually necessary to put your full effort into making it good, or if it would be better to get it done even if it's less than perfect. This saves me a lot of time, personally.

don't try to "finish" tasks that can never end. The dishes do not need to all be clean at once for you to be done doing dishes, you need to set specific goals for "completeness" that don't require absolute perfection. Running a full dishwasher or emptying a clean one and putting the available dirty dishes into it can be the whole task.

you can also ask someone else to help you define "finished" for a task that you don't have an easily defined ending in mind for.

purposely give yourself a break from the task. That includes thinking about it or worrying about how you'll get it done. Set a date or time when you can begin working on it again, and until then dismiss thoughts about it with "I will deal with that [at set time]." If motivation and energy to complete the task return before the set time, you can always start early, but you need to be able to step away from things sometimes in order to give them the effort they deserve.

These are the strategies I use to accommodate the executive dysfunction I get from my combined ADHD and autism. The way the two interact can vary wildly from person to person and makes it hard for people to understand how I work because I seem to contradict my own needs a lot. I don't always know which one is causing which problem but there's always an accommodation or way around the thing that gets me stuck.

[calciumdeficientt]

HELLO! it’s me milky you may remember me from my posts or maybe from my many many unspeakable crimes.

anyway in all seriousness i wanted to hop on and address some of the things ive been seeing since i took a step back from posting.

firstly i’ve been seeing some cliques emerging in the fandom. something i found a little bit strange because of bully’s source material and the strong ‘dangers of clique’ message. and i’m not trying to get on here and police who is friends with who but we’re a small collective as a fandom so i think it would be nice if we all uplifted each other’s opinions and work.

on that note id really love if we appreciated all the time and effort that goes not only into artwork but into written works as well. they’re art, and art takes time. this particular point is relatively self indulgent because, when my ask box was open i got very very sick. i was trying to keep up an almost impossible posting schedule, so i wasn’t eating, i wasn’t sleeping and i wasn’t happy. i enjoyed posting but the pressure i felt to keep putting stuff out was immense and it made me very unwell.

anyway i’ll get off the soapbox now but i really felt like i needed to raise these qualms and hopefully we as a fandom can work together to make some positive change ok love you bye <3

[warmhappycat]

Time for me to bang this drum again:

I’m pretty sure CALICO JACK IS STRAIGHT.

You wouldn’t say that a gay person having had straight sex in the past makes them less gay, right? You’re not out there saying that Stede is definitely, 100%, indisputably, canonically bisexual (as opposed to gay) for having had sex with Mary, right?

Ok. Fun fact: It works the other way too.

Jack literally said the words, “anything goes at sea.”

I guess you can headcanon whatever you want. Sure. But to be honest, I find it kind of sus when someone is like, “well if he had gay sex then he must be queer!” That’s just. Not how that works, and seems kinda… idk, I don’t want to sling accusations, but it always makes me go 🤨 Because, why? Why can you accept that the kinds of sex people engage in don’t map exactly onto their identity when the “aberrant” sex is m/f, but not when it’s same-sex? I’m not inclined to think that anyone in this fandom is consciously thinking thoughts like this, but it really smacks of “well gay sex is gross, so no one would ever do that out of convenience or whatever. The only people who’d be willing to do that, under any circumstances, are people who really, innately want it.”

Plus - to get off my soapbox and be a bit less dramatic and moralistic about it, thank you for bearing with me through that - I don’t understand why you want, narratively, for the guy who tries to break up Ed and Stede, insults Stede, says “anything goes at sea,” is mean to Ed, and then dies, to be queer.

There’s no story to be had there about a self-loathing queer person learning to accept himself. If he was a self-loathing queer person, then he was still self-loathing when he died. That just feels, mean for this show? It’s depressing. I’ve seen enough shows about gay people hating themselves for their sexuality and then dying without ever finding peace. I don’t want that in my happy pirate show.

If he was straight, however, it’s an interesting story. It would mean he was a homophobic guy who used Ed for sex and consenting to being used in return, purely out of convenience, and the implication is that Ed was getting to have the kind of sex he wanted, but for his safety, had to pretend it wasn’t what he really wanted. Isn’t that so much more interesting!? Ed has had gay sex, probably a lot of it, but he’s never been safe to admit that he wants to be having gay sex! He’s probably had to stifle the signs of his pleasure, because if his partner thought he was having too good of a time, that could be dangerous for him!

I know a lot of people don’t want to be confronted with the threat of homophobic violence in their happy pirate show. I myself just said that I don’t want to see the tragic self-loathing gay trope in my happy pirate show. But, here’s the thing, one of those things is the case with Jack. I just don’t see a third option. Either he was queer and he behaved the way he did anyway, or he was straight, and that carries the implications it carries.

Personally, I find the second option both more plausible and more hopeful. We know Ed has been through terrible, traumatic things. That’s already true; adding the implication that having gay sex with straight men carried risks of violence for him doesn’t whumpify a character who was doing great before. It does, however, add a layer of meaning to his relationship with Stede! He’s been through that, and maybe he thought that was the only kind of sexual relationship he’d ever get to have! Maybe that’s part of why he thinks he’s unloveable! He’s surely heard that there are people out there “mAKiNg LoVe,” but none of the people he’s ever wanted to have sex with have loved him. It wasn’t even a possibility, and what’s more, he couldn’t even be honest about his own attraction to them lest they hurt him. But now!! Now! He’s attracted to Stede!! And he wants to have sex with Stede!!! And he loves Stede!!!!!!!!! And Stede!!!!!!! Feels! The! Same! Way!!!!!! They’re gonna have gay sex on purpose!!!

I mean, doesn’t that just seem nicer?

[azazelsazaleas]

Ok, this is really, really nit picky, but it’s been bothering me since I watched the last season of DS9, so here goes…

Y’know when Kira gets assigned to help out the Cardassian resistance and they put her in a Starfleet uniform (for obvious political reasons)? The uniform they gave her had three pips, indicating the rank of Commander.

She should’ve had four.

By that point in the show’s run, she had been promoted to Colonel - not Lieutenant Colonel, she was a full bird - which is the army equivalent in rank to a naval Captain, not a Commander. Her uniform should’ve reflected that. Kira should’ve had four pips on her collar, not three.

Ok, I’ll get off my nerdy soapbox now.

[ratcandy]

After Consideration, I probably won't be outright avoiding PT stuff as god dammit if my brain didn't latch on like a motherfucker, but I won't be posting anything here (or on the artblog) about it for those who may be Uncomfortable

Mostly just holding onto some optimism that something'll be done to fix the lingering issues. Should my hopes be unfounded, well. Piss, ig

Oh for fucks sake

[cupcakefoggy]

Ok, this drives me nuts.

I love Bridgerton. And I don't love all things Regency, so before you write me off as a romance-loving Austenite (which is ALSO a perfectly valid thing to be, thankyouverymuch) just hear me out on why this take is so damn annoying.

Ok. Cool. Now, you're entitled to your opinion that Bridgerton is too fluffy, too girly, and needs more "texture" (which, according to the article, should come in the form of labor, hardship, threatened financial ruin, the usual good stuff) but I want to impress upon you, firmly but politely, that if you're in the market for something gritty, you probably should turn off Bridgerton.

She compares Bridgerton to every prominent period show in this article, and consistently complains that it doesn't measure up. "Well it's not Downton Abbey!" No, no it isn't, and that's what we like about it. We aren't watching it to Learn Something. We're watching it because, for an hour or three at a time, it's really nice to forget that there's so much awful crap going on in the world, and just focus in on Penelope's up-and-down courtship with Colin or how damn cute Kate and Anthony are together.

But that isn't even the thing that bothers me the most about this article.

Why, in the year of our lord 2024, are we still perpetuating this "fluffy girly things are BRAIN CANDY" nonsense? Has Jane Austen truly taught us nothing? At the age of 12, back in the early aughts, my dad gave me a hard time for reading the Sweet Valley Twins books. He wanted me to read Pride and Prejudice, and aggressively shoved it under my nose until I finally agreed to take a look at it. I found it incomprehensible, looked it up online, and found to my immense pleasure that Jane Austen's literature was considered "popular" and "feminine" in its day -- not at all serious literature. I took my findings to my dad, who just about exploded and told me "that's not the point, it's a classic NOW, so shut up and read it."

Guys, I don't care if it was written in the 1600s or last week, pop culture is pop culture. It reflects its time. And more importantly, it shapes its time.

In the 1990s, Seinfeld aired the now-famous episode wherein the boys and Julia Louis-Dreyfus' character, Elaine, have a contest to see how long they can all go without masturbating. One of the men is out before the contest begins; of the remaining contestants, Elaine cracks first. This is now considered a bold statement, because in the 90s, women actually ENJOYING orgasms was taboo -- a concept they make sure to acknowledge within the episode itself, as the men insist women don't masturbate.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus later said of her time on Seinfeld, "We weren't trying to change the world, we were just trying to make something really funny. And that's really hard to do. And if you can do it, you CAN change the world a little bit."

Now, I don't watch Seinfeld. I hate it. I tried to watch a bit of it for Julia, bc I loved her so much in New Adventures of Old Christine, but I just couldn't get into it. but I saw the episode she's talking about, and it IS funny. Because they aren't up on a soapbox, they're just having fun, and she's a damn good comedic actress. So why am I bringing up Seinfeld in a conversation about Bridgerton? Because they're both fluff. No one is watching Seinfeld in an effort to solve the mysteries of the human condition or reflect on the nature of good and evil. It's just for fun. And so is Bridgerton.

And even if there was absolutely no value to Bridgerton besides being fun, it would still be "okay" to watch it. Because sometimes we just need fluff. But I don't think we really spend enough time thinking about just how much impact that "fluff" has on our culture.

I've seen people argue that Bridgerton DOES tackle occasional "serious" topics, and that's why it has value. I disagree. Bridgerton's value comes from the fact that it is FUN. It's easy to get into, it's easy to watch, no one is FORCING it on you, like my dad tried to do with P&P. And because it's fun, people -- YOUNG people -- are willingly watching it…

And they're seeing elderly women, women of color, and plus-size women being depicted as beautiful and desirable.

They're seeing a young, newly-married woman force herself on her husband and realizing that women also need to be taught about consent, and that a lack of sex education leads to damaged relationships.

They're seeing depictions of mental illness in the Queen Charlotte spinoff. They're seeing a man with a mental illness bare his soul to a woman he loves, and hearing her say, in no uncertain terms, that as damaged as he thinks he is, she loves him too. Unconditionally.

They're seeing queer representation in the Queen Charlotte spinoff, too. They're seeing racism and politics and medical abuse. They're seeing storylines that they'd never seek out on their own, and intentionally or not, they're learning from those stories.

Maybe it's optimistic to a fault, but I just can't stop wondering, how many young girls talked to each other about Daphne and Simon? How many plus-size women saw Penelope and Colin's sex scene and felt beautiful, felt seen, for the first time? How many people with mental illness saw Charlotte love King George and realized that they too are worthy of love? How many people heard Violet shyly tell Agatha that she misses having sex with her husband, and felt validated that, no, you don't turn 40 and stop being horny?

I sobbed my eyes out watching S3 the other night, because they captured the feeling of being unpopular and overweight so damn well. I saw my high school years reflected in Penelope's story and it broke my heart and gave me hope all at the same time. I love that they dress Violet and Agatha and Charlotte as richly as they do the younger, "hotter" leads. I love that Anthony Bridgerton goes down on Kate every fucking chance he gets. I love Bridgerton's message, however unintentional, that you don't have to be the classic Pretty Skinny Caucasian Starlet - you can be fat, old, BIPOC, disabled, outcast, anything, and still deserve and GET your happily-ever-after.

Shondaland is not trying to change the world. They're just trying to be fluffy and horny. And if they can do it, they can change the world just a little bit.

[eclipsedomens]

Following up that one post about 'transmascs not having any transfem friends" MY TRANS WOMAN FRIEND IS THE ONE WHO HELPED ME TALK THRU MY OWN GENDER FEELINGS! I wouldn't be the man I am now without her transitioning, (feeling safe enough to) tell me and then explaining the whys and how she felt the way she did when I asked. It was like she opened the blinds on my window and made me realize I could open it up to get fresh air.

ummmmm. but your "trans woman friend" supports trans men so is she really a trans woman. i am very progressive. are you sure she isnt scared to speak up against you.......

^ worlds heaviest sarcasm. btw. LITERALLY. like they act like transfems and transmascs are two different species and its like no!!!! we have very similar experiences BUT there is also differences!! and thats ok!!! we can still learn from each other!!! but instead its all ohhh tmes are so evil. people be saying things so definitively and its like I think it Depends.

off my soapbox to say im happy you have a good friend to help you through that stuff :-) experience joy forever, okay?

[relaxxattack]

Ok pitch pairings… I think solkat and dirkuu are pretty good pitch pairings hehe. Could be fun to draw. Or like. Vrisrose (im not very good at thinking of pitch ships rip) (there’s gotta be some im forgetting)

i fucking LOVEEE dirkuu. its just so unhinged like its incredible. so fun. and solkat is literally the GOAT of pitch pairings as ive said before

but as for vrisrose. okay i know people are gonna call me crazy for this. hashing Unpopular Opinion incoming. but i don’t really ship vris♠️rose like that.

i have more refined tastes. called, whatever the fuck you would call THIS absolute disaster

i just think it would healthier for them and also i made posts about how it’s textually supported /silly

okay getting off my soapbox now. gnighttt

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

THE ASK ABT JOBS SUGURU WOULD HAVE ,,,,,, i love thinking abt it thats my favorite subject EVA !!!! [thats a lie suguru as a whole is my favorite subject teehee :3]

ur SOOO right abt him being in law 2 help ppl ,,,,,, SO right w the idea of him walking around w a briefcase + slicked back ponytail + coffee GOHDDDD ok . okay . jobs I THINK suguru would have LETS GO !!

CERAMICIST - hed make these insane pots + sculptures n have showcases that r BOOKED like ,,, hes just so ,,,, pottery person 2 me,,,, n i feel like hed have a focus on using old pottery methods n keeping them alive in the modern day ,, like hes got some crazy intricate jomon pots, porcelain bowls + other kitchenware, n probs some bizen pots that he made dotted around his garden ,,,,, WAUGHHH I LOEV ART HISTORY

TATTOO ARTIST - ok . popular hc BUT STILL . hes worked his way up from being an apprentice in a huge shop -> owning his own lil studio pretty fast n hes GOOD . like hes got a rlly nice set of flashes that r colorful n playful but on himself hes probably got these super serious grayscale marbles and mythology plastered all over him [except for a family portrait mimiko + nanako made when they were like . 6 that he thought was so cute he got it tattooed on him] also i dont think hed b SUUPER in2 tattooing ppls names on other ppl or on himself, but maybe once u two have been dating for a LONGG while or r even almost a solid decade into marriage hed consider getting your name tatted somewhere hidden-but-not-really-hidden [womb tattoo, around the back of his ear, inner thigh]

MARINE BIOLOGIST - oHH MY GOHD OH MY GOHD OHHHHH MY GOHD i get super excited abt this cuz i wanna b a marine biologist SO BADDDDDD . its coming . TRUST !!!! anyway, he probably does some type of conservation bcuz . cmon . look at him . so he dives pretty often, like a weekly typa thing, BUT IMAGINE HIM IN THE SCUBA OUTFIT . he comes out sopping wet n hes probably rlly hot 4 a solid minute b4 the Stench hits u since ur both in an enclosed space and he smells like the underside of a dock.

CLASSICAL MUSICIAN - u know how i was talking abt how suguru would b a cellist ? yeah hed b a DAMN GOOD cellist like that man is principal cellist and hes so nice abt it 2 ,,, like he doesn't flaunt it and whenever someone in his section needs help w bowings or smthn else he gladly helps them !! he probably solos a ton on the tuba 2 ,,, like hes just SO GOOD at everything he picks up its insane

CONDUCTOR - same vein as the classical musician thing, he would b such a fine ass conductor ,,,,, like his facial expressions when the music gets intense and then it softens and hes swaying with the orchestra, hands gliding through the air ,,, also hed just b rlly good at keeping ppl in time and figuring out what each section was doing wrong.

oki thats my 2 cents on the whole thing ill get off my soapbox now dhhdhd :3

ASHLEY i’m finally getting to this…… these are all so bigbrained it’s crazy . AND I’M SO GLAD YOU SEE THE LAWYER!SUGU VISION <3333 he means the world 2 me….. silly little guy……

BUT WAHHH. CERAMIST SUGU THE LOML????? there’s this one stsg fic i rlly like where he’s a ceramics instructor and it …. changed me. as a person. AND I AGREE COMPLETELY the part abt him wanting to keep old art alive….. showcases constantly booked bc he’s just so skilled….. 😵‍💫 yeah. sugu as any kind of artist makes me insane. and him being good at pottery is just so…. weirdly attractive to me???? LIKE . him just having the most steady gentle hands…… teaching you how to mold the clay properly……… your back against his chest as he guides your hands . i need him so bad

AND . TATTOO ARTIST. yes it’s popular but it’s popular for a REASON (reason being: he is hot). HIM OWNING HIS OWN STUDIO and being so skilled….. the mythological tattoos + family portrait 🥺🥺 wahhh . he’s so sweet ashley…. i need him so bad…….. AND THE NAME THING …… i agree btw i feel like he would see tattoos as very . very very special. so getting your name inked into his skin so permanently might feel just as serious as a proposal to him 😭😭 i could see him doing it eventually tho ….. i agree w all the placements bUT. a part of me feels like . he’d get it tattooed somewhere on his chest … close to his heart….. :’3 sniffle. i could also see him getting a tiny heart you doodled onto his palm tattooed w/o you knowing and you’re just like ???? SUGURU??????? and he’s just. “i thought it was cute :)”…… sick sick man (affectionate) 😔😔

AND MARINE BIOLOGIST!SUGU ??? YOUR BRAINNNNN i remember you mentioning that in the sashisu college au too :33 him scuba diving!!!!! being constantly drenched and smelling of seasalt….. i’m of the firm belief that he was obsessed w marine biology as a kid so it just makes sense. I TRUST YOU BTWWW you’ll become a marine biologist for sure 🫡🫡🫡 pls let me pet the sharks once it happens . i would like to see them.

and finally ….. classical musician and conductor. CONDUCTOR!SUGU HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD BTW?? he would look so graceful and commanding and and and 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 just . him. swaying w the orchestra!!!!! he’s like a beautiful swan….. and ofc i love the idea of him being a musician too :3 it just makes sense. AND . HIM BEING A CELLIST. WHAT IF I CRYYYY he’d look so good playing it……

ashley your brain is actually so insanely big did you know that …… tysm for the food as always 🙏🙏 i am nomming him 2 death

[qinwenzheng]

cannot even say wta is in its straight era because technically it is not but the vibes are so weird. not necessarily bad. but weird. i think it's because there is no balance. what do i mean by that? i don't even know. am i rewriting history in my head? maybe. i think the "old era" of like...serena/maria/caro/angie/aga/ana/vika were so...not necessarily messy but so different? the rotations were better somehow. you could group them together easily and they played each other more often.

but now i feel like im lying!!! like aryna/iga, aryna/elena, elena/iga in theory have a similar sort of dynamic that can translate from on court to off but i cannot make it work...coco's rotational abilities are interesting to me because there is potential. i think jess is so....straight married boring and maria fell off the face of the earth. even tho i still think they're fun mirrors of each other meaning...it's a flop fest. you understand me etc. iga is just like....you can't even have messy (fake!!!!!) fun with her psychologist or whatever. that video of her inviting jasmine over for pierogies for CHRISTMAS like girl...i was thinking. and then NAOMI who i thought was the centre of the wta universe is like...where are you? iga/naomi is still interesting to me but their lives SEEM so opposite that i find it hard to like. just ignore the fact that naomi has an entire baby. even tho rpf is FAKE fake fake. and just using them as pre-tense for stories. like i get that i am not really a tinhatter in any sense of it. but idk. i think that's part of why m/m rpf is more popular because it's like. easier to forget about the rest of their lives where with women it is still so much more centred? idk. maybe i've lost my marbles. who else even is there. i know i wrote a dreamwidth post with all my potential pairings i'd write but...that is under lock and key. aryna is def, imo, the most rotatable because she is the most extroverted and in everyone else's business. i thought emma had so much potential but now i'm like...mhm. karo is like. ok dyke but also ? mhm. doubles is so...i could make it work but the effort vs. reward of writing it stresses me out too much. bianca is my favourite "no homo" "im not lesbian just to clear that up" remix but she's so isolated from the tour that it's hard to make it work. absolutely NOBODY cared about emma/bianca even though i still think it works and is interesting. jannik/carlos does nothing for me i'm so sorry. holger/anyone i can be into. i keep starting and deleting a very dumb and indulgent denis/domi fic where domi decides to coach denis and it is a mess that's kind of successful except it ends up with a v weird sexual dynamic ¯_(ツ)_/¯. if i am being honest i am still thinking about dyke novak. sorry. other pairings i just...idk. i don't even think the current crop of players are boring but there's just less content and they feel more media trained/resistant to saying anything interesting? but then i read transcripts and watch interviews and i don't know if that's true. even in trophy speeches...it's like i see. i think i still just have brain blockage of how f/f is perceived vs. m/m and i'm not...trying to be like well you must read/write f/f to be a good person because that's...stupid. it is just...i do not care about men nearly as much as i do women in any facet! it is not on purpose! or to prove anything or out of any sense of ~activism. i just cannot find men that interesting and i do not want to come across as standing on a soapbox or whatever. but idk. the difference is interesting to me? i felt like it was SO easy to come up with random tidbits of ideas/stories/pwp vague ideas for the like....2012-2018 era and now i'm stuck half the time and everything feels so repetitive. maybe there's just less...grounded in reality and the season is so jumpy without consistency (not of results but just of repetitive match ups or like...they are in the same place. and talk to each other off court) or whatever. i thought the olympics was going to be ripe with rpf happenings but no! it was just this weird "qinwen isn't friendly" bullshit. tho i guess that did result in one v good fic so there's that. idk. i have no point here.

already on AO3 pairings (* indicates ive written them already, from only this season, restricted from dec 2023 to now)

jannik/carlos (192)

roger/rafa (46)

holger/casper* (39)

daniil/stefanos (34)

karen/andrey (16)

novak/rafa (15)

grigor/andrey* (12)

daniil/andrey (11)

novak/andy (10)

flavio/ben(12)

jannik/sonego (8)

stefanos/zverev (7)

hubert/iga (6)

carlos/ferrero (6)

nikola/mate (5)

fritz/zverev (5)

jess/maria* (4)

iga/qinwen* (4)

draper/jannik (4)

novak/roger (3)

aryna/iga* (3)

karo/iga (3)

andrey/zverev (2)

daniil/daria (3)

paula/aryna* (2)

holger/jannik (2)

elena/aryna* (2)

carlos/novak

grigor/hubert

novak/holger* (2)

emma/bianca* (2)

iga/elena* (1)

qinwen/li na* (1)

naomi/iga*

maria/serena

jannik/carlos is soooo dominant it's crazy...good for them etc. the gap between m/m and f/f is wiiiiild but not really surprising. other pairings i've written but before this year angie/andrea, caro/serena, caro/alizé, caro/kristina, borna/donna.

potential pairings (that i would write, probably)

iga/bianca

novak/denis

aryna/jess

madi/sloane

jess/madi

coco/iga

jasmine/iga

donna/maria (technically already wrote this but)

elena/qinwen

holger/denis (spider man meme basically)

retirement fic still has a hold on me...which is so dumb but it does. but it never hits the way i want it to. maria/serena/caro/angie and any iteration of them....you have my attention. there's other pairings that i'd never write but think are interesting. jess/taylor, emma/qinwen is like...i can see the vision and i deeply respect it but i cannot make it work. reading it, hell yes. idk. i am back at a point where writing feels very useless and too self-indulgent and the payoff isn't really worth it but. who knows. off-season is a great time to make shit up.

[imaginespazzi]

BESTIE! It is good to have you back around. Anything new or just crushed w school work?

First of all, happy W Playoffs Semifinals Day 1 ! And lets go Liberty! (though in all honesty I like all the teams left overall). Cant wait to watch and Im just hoping for no sweeps after the 1st rd provided no 3rd game. Which, if youll allow a soapbox moment, all the series should be at least 5 games and automatically have games at both places! Hill I will die on

Argh. Yeah my final Mystics thought/sentiment basically boils down to ~well better than nothing~ Really curious to see the rules/system the leagues organizes re expansion along w the next draft! Ok slightly surprised by Curt getting the axe but was really floored by Spoon. I guess those organizations seem known for some odd, not necessarily beneficial decision making though.

Its so odd to see her in action in Kentucky gear! Superficial, and maybe Im still just adjusting, but I feel like the VT colors suit her appearance more than the royal blue. I do feel like the weirdness and finality of the change is probs kinda hitting Kitley as official practices for next wcbb season begin, so funny that you mentioned. In fact I saw somewhere on here that she was listening to what was formerly her "Georgia" playlist recently. Though w this girl and her emo ways w music, I dont really know how much meaning to quite attribute to that. And at least just going off my personal observation within the general world of college athletics, this is def the time of year where the recognition of change/a fresh start really sets in for players. And Im sure its true in a sense for Liz, as she realizes that its the fall but for the first time she isnt going back to school. Would think that the playoffs and knee rehab are a providing a decent distraction though!

GH Ch 10 🤌. Possessive Stephie was a great laugh and the beginning of Pookie dramatics + contract discussion have me eager for the next read! (Uncle Drew 🥹)

BESTIE HI so I'm like years too late to answering this but hey at least I'm here!

Lmao choosing tonight to answer this is actually really funny cause in hindsight you did get half of your wish! The Liberty made is so fun to root for them in the semis and have now decided they are going to make is so difficult to root for them in the finals. I was a little conflicted to begin with an after this first final...yeah maybe I need to cool off lmao.

Also a great day to answer this cause we do know the rules now and well....was that late run that established absolutely nothing worth only having ~10% of a chance of getting Paige Bueckers, Mike??? T-Spoon getting the Axe was an insane choice and I have no idea what the Sky is thinking with that. Curt was also such a random choice but mayhaps LA will get Stephanie White now (I say because I can't stand the idea of her going to the Fever)

It's definitely strange not seeing her in the VT uniform and the blue is pretty but just doesn't feel like her yet. And while not the biggest thing, I'm sure it's one of those tiny changes that adds to Liz probably feeling a little bittersweet about this whole time.

Ah yes...the next read that I totally have made so much progress on mmhm

[katatonicimpression]

Bobby/Romeo, you’ve probably talked about them before but I don’t remember

Oooh so i actually really like this. And, like, in a way I dont ship it - I don't make or consume fan content for it - but I really like what Vecchio and Orlando did with it. I think it's a strong storyline.

Because I'm petty and my brain is weird, I'm gonna format this by responding to objections:

A) The age thing/is this problematic?

So, Romeo was time displaced teen!Bobby's boyfriend. Canonically, when they sent the teens back to the past, they wiped their memories with one exception - bobby was allowed to retain his memories of being out as a teen, as a treat. I believe the intention here was just to make it a little less depressing, but it opened a possibility that Vecchio noticed. Present-day bobby does remember dating Romeo - he now has an adolescent crush on a character who is actually a viable romantic interest.

Romeo was late teens when we first saw him. Vecchio's comic takes place "nebulous sliding timeline" years later, but in the real world was about 7 years afterwards. On top of this, Vecchio added a line where Romeo says he was caught up in some time travel shenanigans of his own, and has aged an additional 10 years. This puts him in his 30s, the same vague age as Bobby.

Some people object to this on principle. The trope of rapidly aging a character to make them sexually viable is absolutely a thing in comics (think Layla Miller and Magik and how they both jarringly oscillate between being young children and sexualised young women. Or even think about Synch and Talon, and how they wrote an in universe reason for him to physically age, because they thought it would seem weird if he was still physically a teenager - which is bad writing but I concede it's less viscerally creepy than the magik and Layla stuff). The objection is basically that the aging up of an underage character to make them a viable love interest is creepy and weird - and I do pretty much agree with that.

Like, if someone wanted to age up an existing kid character like Gabby just to put her romantically with an adult, I would be right there with you saying that this is fucked up. So, yes, point granted.

However, not only would Romeo have been well into his 20s even without that 10 year boost, more importantly this is not an example of a pre-existing dude just being plucked out of his life and warped into a love interest role for bobby. He's a character who literally only exists to be a love interest for bobby. On top of that, weird time travel hijinks were always on the table with this. And I think that does change the situation. It's not "let's take this kid and age him up", it's "this couple transcends spacetime."

Idk maybe I could have explained that better, but the way I see it, this is a trope that you should watch out for, this particular case is not really a problem.

B) Wait, you're saying Romeo is more of a plot device than a character? Isn't that bad?

Yes, he kind of is, and no it isn't bad.

So, all good characters are plot devices. Ok, yeah in big unending serialised things like comic books and soap operas, characters do start to exist independently of story writing. But, in terms of actually writing a story, the characters are what they bring to the story. That can be in a very utilitarian plot way, or in a more loose thematic way, or, hell, comic relief. Characters are their purpose in the story. They can be more than that, but a well-written character can be identifiable by their narrative/aesthetic purpose in a given work.

*gets down off of soapbox*

Romeo's main purpose is to be a love interest for Bobby, and specifically to be a love-interest with empathy powers for Mr Emotional Repression. He is someone for Bobby to feel things with, to be vulnerable with. He's there to open bobby up (in the first place with teen!bobby) and to be the person he lets in (metaphorically). This is what Vecchio is doing; Bobby initially responds to emotional anguish by running and reverting, then eventually reaches catharsis by breaking down in front of Romeo.

With Orlando, Romeo is there to very literally facilitate the plot, but also to once again reveal Bobby's vulnerabilities, this time in a less positive way. Through Romeo we see Bobby's weaknesses, both in his powers at the time and his psychological failings.

This is good. This is fun. This is why I like romantic storylines in my comc books. I like how they can be used to tell us things about the characters, I like how they can heighten the emotional stakes, and drive conflict and resolution. It's good.

C) Bobby should be with a pre-existing character

My biggest bobby ship is with St. John so idk if I have a leg to stand on here. But one of the things I kept seeing when people were complaining about Romeo coming back was "bobby should be with Hank" and "Bobby should be with Warren" and like... erm... no?

Specifically, it was always phrased as "bobby should be given a new permanent, endgame love interest" which I think is the problem. Shipping is so often about assigning two people to each other forever and ever, but that's not necessarily a thing that canon ever needs to be conerned about in comic book world. And certainly not something it needs to bother with all of the time.

What I wanted was a romantic storyline for Bobby, and I got that. Yes, you could write a storyline with a pre-existing character (e.g. st. john) but you can have a dedicated love-interest guy instead. The important thing is that you actually write it. So, fundamentally I don't think either Hank or Warren would ever actually be considered as love interests for Bobby by editorial, but even if they were, the thing you would need to do is actually write that narrative, and it's not currently there at all imo.

I just find this so silly and weird. Let bobby date some rando it's fine. What matters is whether the story is compelling in its own right.

D) Isn't this a step backwards?

One objection to the writing that I've seen is that by dating his teenage boyfriend, Bobby is basically regressing. This is a step backwards for him, and is bad for that reason.

I agree and disagree. Yes it's a regression, and also I'm kind of into it.

What I mean is that Orlando actually introduces a lot of codependency between Romeo and Bobby. Bobby is literally reliant on Romeo to physically exist, and Romeo is physically stuck somewhere he cannot survive without him. So, like, that's messed up. Also they argue, Bobby is still closed off, uncomfortable with how vulnerable he is. Romeo is kinda clingy, but how else could he possibly act in this situation.

It is deliciously fucked up. And it's using a superhero/sci-fi premise to exaggerate an emotional conflict, to paint the internal into the external. We love to see it.

Orlando didn't really dive into it, beyond having mild conflict between them at times. But I dunno I like drama. I was excited for their to be drama. And if this storyline gets revisited at some point, I kinda hope they lean into it.

E) Monogamy Reigns

This isn't a response to any specific thing I've seen but more a vibe that's floating about. I already mentioned that when people ship, they so often favour this idea of one true endgame pairing, and monogamy is usually the norm. Hell, even polyshipping is usually an ot3, with a set limited number of partners.

Bobby and Romeo's relationship is open, like many relationships between gay men are. They are melodramatically romantic, and they are open. I love this.

We have wiccan and hulkling for cutesy wholesome gays. We have Jean-Paul and Kyle for marriage and monogamy. It's important, to me personally, to also have queer men who don't operate that way. Open relationships are very commonplace for queer men and to me there is something implicitly homophobic about seeing these relationships as less. Hell, I am a very monogamous person myself and I still feel very strongly about this.

I think people have a tendency to not understand what Vecchio and Orlando were trying to show here, and sometimes to take the romance less seriously because of it (oh, it's just a casual thing) and, no, that's not it.

So, yeah, I like it. This was a lot of words to say I like the pairing.