#do y’all not remember learning that we have a two party system
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It seems the issue rn is that people think that unless the candidate is 110% perfect in every way than it is morally wrong to vote for them/endorse them. Not at all considering the nuance and factors that are going into this election (the electoral college, our stupid two party system, the threat of project 2025, etc). Believe me Biden is not my favorite and I’d give anything to see a third party/socialist president but the way our two party shit works, it is just NOT possible during this election cycle. We need to stop clinging to that fucking fantasy and work with what we have while we can before it’s too late. Anything besides that is laziness disguised as activism and moral outrage.
And abstaining from voting altogether bc you wanna throw a fit about the options not being good enough for you; you are the WORST kind of person there is. You say you care so deeply about these issues that unless someone ticks off every little box of yours, you’re not going to involve yourself at all?? How on earth does that make ANY sense?? If you give a fuck about anything at all you would vote for the candidate that is most likely to win and also not start the Dark Ages 2 like trump will. And I don’t care what the fuck y’all say, any vote not for Biden (or not casted at all) is a vote FOR TRUMP. Republicans know this and believe me they fucking show up to the polls. The two party system does not give a fuck about your moral outrage, and while you stand back and fuss over Biden not being perfect, you are deliberately allowing trump to take the presidency. So not only are you not helping at all but you are also actively hurting the ppl you claim to stand for. It truly baffles me as to how so many of y’all think this is a legitimate act of political protest and not just… throwing a pointless and silent temper tantrum that will ultimately lead to many many people dying under Trump? HOW is that in any way better than voting for a man who may not be perfect but is still doing a lot for us???
BUT if we continue to push Biden left as we have been, we can show future candidates that America is ready for more leftist leaders. If you want to see leftist candidates in office then THAT is how you get them. Not by pitching a fit about it in the middle of the goddamn election or refusing to participate altogether. Just because you don’t like him as he is now doesn’t mean he can’t be pushed further left with more pressure from his constituents, another factor I think a lot of people are ignoring.
The solution is not going to perfect. Biden is not perfect. But millions of lives are at stake here and one man is obviously much better than the other, anyone saying they are on the same level is full of shit. Not perfect is better than nothing at all and descending into project 2025. But if you are the type of person that will not accept a solution unless it is entirely perfect for you, then you cannot pretend you actually give a shit about anyone these policies will affect bc we all know you really don’t, you’re more concerned about standing on your soapbox and telling everyone how enlightened you are by not voting for Biden. Meanwhile the support you could’ve given to Biden to protect the people you claim to care for, goes directly to trump.
I’m so tired.
So weird thing I'm noticing is that almost all of the people arguing with me on my "please vote" post have profiles saying they're trans.
But, like, I know a lot of trans people in real life. I'm nonbinary. A lot of my closest friends are also in the trans community. All of them are planning on voting for Biden.
Maybe it's just because we're all older -- and we all remember 2016.
Maybe.
But, like, if any of you are who you say you are, I beg of you -- please understand that things are going to get so much worse under Trump. Right now we're fighting at the state level in a lot of places, and activism needs to be focused there. But if we lose the White House, it's going to start coming from the Federal government too, and it's going to be so much harder.
It's just exhausting sometimes.
#guys this is literally high school govt class like#do y’all not remember learning that we have a two party system#and that third parties NEVER win and in fact serve only the opponents#and I think to when I say these things ppl take it like I’m saying that this is how it SHOULD be#I do NOT think this is how it should be but unfortunately this is how it IS#and to pretend we don’t live in a two party system is willfully ignorant at best#and dangerous at worst#the point of activism yall is not to get to the endgame immediately but to do what you can in the circumstances you’re given#working with what you have is infinitely better than doing fucking nothing#please use your fucking brains#also I WILL block you if you clown on my shit#I am SO done with y’all acting like you’re so smart and involved by not voting/voting third#like it literally doesn’t even make sense omggg#politics#vote blue
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Heeey!
Saeyoung, Yoosung, Jumin and Zen reacting to to “hotel only one bed” trope ? ♥️
a/n: of course you can lovely! <3 *AHEM* Lemme just say this trope is ELITE and I will NEVER not love it // also, i’m writing it like it’s before they’re dating (OF COURSE) because I want it to be spicy (actually that’s the only thing that would make sense for this prompt but you get my point whatever). ALSO also I’m basing the fancy hotel off my stay at the Ritz Carlton (it was like $25,000 a night) because my grandma couldn’t manage money N E WAYSS. Also, if y’all could let me know whether you prefer Y/N to MC pls lmk k thx
TW: drunk old lady w/no filter, gets pretty suggestive because I couldn’t help myself, an overbearing aunt, savage Italians, and loud hotel neighbor
Note: omfg i accidentally made this so long oh well here’s yo present lmao
“There’s only one bed” PT.1 PT.2
-
Saeyoung
Getaway missions are mad cool until you can’t sleep
When you finally neared the parking entrance to your hotel you were SO looking forward to taking a nice hot shower before shimming into the covers of your crisp, (clean, you hoped) sheets.
It was past 3AM when Saeyoung finally drove his elegant vehicular device (because what other word is there for it) into a secured parking space
“Because I don’t trust those shady valets, y/n.”
“Whatever you say, Seven”, you replied groggily.
You hauled ass up to the front desk, then to the elevator of the exquisite hotel you were staying at
not that you cared
because S L E E P
but Saeyoung likes to quote Jurassic Park (because of course he does) like “I spare no expense, y/n”
“I’m too tired to laugh”
*gASP*
“Not everyone naturally stays up until the early morning light before going to sleep.”
“It really should become a thing, it’s honestly very iconic of me.” (it’s not)
By the time your conversation ended you were glad to see your hotel number and a little key card slot.
Saeyoung made a show of sticking the key card in like a spy or something
it was funny for normal y/n but not for tired y/n
“Here’s your room, M’lady.”
He held the door open to your room as you looked around the room
a large, lush bed set before a ginormous flat screen TV with complimentary expensive chocolates laid before you as well as complimentary take-home elegant towels and slippers.
suddenly, you heard a knock on the door
blinking in confusion, you opened to see it was Saeyoung
“Um.. hey! What’s up?”
Saeyoung looked a bit bewildered himself before saying,
“Hey, so, I realized my key card was the same room number as yours and I was like ‘That’s weird!’ so I called the front desk who verified that I had placed a reservation for one room, not two, so I hacked into their system to see what went wrong and if I could change it but it looks like they’re completely booked and I think I had made the reservation before I knew that you had to come along and I’m so sorry”
he was breathless after the mouthful he just gave you
As it was 3AM a drunk, old woman was tripping her way to her room and shouted much louder than she should at 3AM, “Kiss her already n’ fuck, ya youngin’s!”
Saeyoung’s hair now matched his face :)
His ears were tipped bright red before coughing awkwardly
“I can sleep on the ground. I’ve done it plenty of times, it’s actually pretty comfy.”
“Um, Sev’ I’m not going to make you just sleep on the floor. If you want--”
“You’re not making me, y/n, I want to do this”
“Actually I think I’ll sleep on the floor, I sleep a lot better on the ground”, you fibbed.
“You’re sleeping on that big ass bed.”
“No you are.”
“If you don’t listen I’ll sleep in the bath tub instead of the floor.”
“Then I’LL sleep outside the room!”
“LIKE HELL YOU WILL!”
“WATCH ME”
the phone rang, a worker politely asking you to quiet a bit down because even with your luxurious privacy walls, guests could still hear you arguing.
Saeyoung began whisper shouting, “Guess that settles it.”
he plopped on the ground, fake snoring with his arm as a pillow
you sighed
“Fine, if neither of us are going to agree to this then we are both going to sleep in this bed.”
Saeyoung blushed lightly at your boldness, a tad worried you’d find him creepy or weird
You started again, beginning to undress a little, causing Seven to yelp in panic and turn around immediately, shielding his eyes,
Now in your tank top and your leggings you’d been wearing under sweatpants and a t-shirt, you said, “I’m gonna go take a quick shower and go to bed. I’m so tired.”
Seven turned around only when he’d heard the bathroom door shut
he sighed, What am I going to do with this girl.
By the time you’d come out of the bathroom, drying your wet hair, Seven was lying on the bed, clad in casual t-shirt and jeans.
“Come on, Saeyoung, you have comfy clothes! It’s okay, change! I’m done in the bathroom now.”
“Nah, this is fine.” This was not fine. Saeyoung was out of his area of expertise of expecting the unexpected because God you were so unpredictable.
“Please” you jutted out your bottom lip in a little pout, being sure to make eye contact with him
Something glowered in his eyes for a split second before he half-smiled saying, “Ah, little Y/n, you know I can’t say no to you when you go all sad on me.”
He stepped into the bathroom to change, but let’s be honest. He was freaking the fuck out.
he covered his flushed face, changing into his soft sweatpants and a cozy sweatshirt. he was scared
the more comfortable he became the more likely he’d accidentally get closer to you and then you’d freak out because you’d hear the sound of his heart beat like it’s a fucking rave concert and then you’d be weirded forever and quite possibly never talk to him again
but on the outside, he stepped out of the bathroom, whipping his phone out with a huge smirk saying, “Smile”
you threw up a peace sign with your tongue sticking out
he laughed before sending it to the RFA chat
707: Sleepover lolol [see attachment]
immediately both your phones blew up with buzzes of notifications from the chat
you laughed lightly, brushing a stray hair from your face to tuck it behind your ear
this was gonna be a long night for Seven.
Zen: UGH get away from her!!!!!!!!!111!!1!!
Jumin: Maybe you should learn to type first.
Zen: shut it cat freak
Zen: seven answer
Zen: hey
Zen: y/n, text “qwerty” if you’re in any kind of danger
Jumin: What a strange code.
You: qwerty :(
707: lololololol
Zen: !!!!!
Zen: ASJDHKJFASHFKJA
Jumin: -_-
Zen: WE NEED A CAR, NO A HELICOPTER im omw!!
You: just kidding <3 i’m fine you guys
707: lololol
Jumin: Have a bit more faith in your subordinates, Zen.
You closed the chat and muted your phone, expecting the incoming argument that was quickly to ensue.
You patted the bed lightly, ushering Saeyoung to lie down next to you.
He obliged, though he politely laid at the far edge of the left side of the bed.
You yawned before shutting the light off and whispering a “good night”.
Saeyoung glanced at the clock. 4AM. Only 15 minutes had passed. You were breathing softly in your sleep within the 10 minutes after you’d said goodnight and here he was still awake.
You suddenly tousled in your sleep, and Saeyoung raised his head, whispering a soft, “Did I wake you up?”
You replied with a soft moan before abruptly turning left onto his corner of the bed and grabbing for the first thing you’d felt -- his torso.
Saeyoung’s breath hitched as he felt you exploring the new found “object”, running your fingers up and down his torso and nearing dangerous areas below
Saeyoung whisper-shouted, “What are you doing?”
He leaned closer to hear your reply, but your only answer was more soft little snores
Saeyoung sighed, trying to lightly grab your wrists without waking you up, and directing toward yourself
no matter how hard he’d try, your arms kept finding his own
your nails would softly ghost over his chest or neck, causing him to shiver and blush profusely
again, he sighed, trying his hardest not to give into your sleepy state
until you broke him with a soft utterance, “Sae....young..”
Saeyoung’s eyes widened to the size of saucers before he dared to look down at you, your hair curling on the bed every which-way.. your mouth slightly agap...
he groaned, his brows furrowed and his eyes shut
at last he slunk his arms around your torso, being sure to respectfully keep them high around your waist
he buried his face in the crook of your neck to subconsciously try to hide his ever growing blush (and erection)
I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this ‘friend’ thing when you’re driving me this crazy, y/n.
You awoke to a sleeping Saeyoung, his toned arms enveloping your small body in a hug
shamelessly, you laid still for a few moments longer.
Yoosung
this bean is lonely uwu
so when he’d invited to you go with him on a trip his uncle had paid for, you felt bad saying “yes” because it’s a paid trip!!
until he begged you because his cousin Chaewon would be there and he was always really pushy and borderline a huge fuck boi
so you conceded
but hey free trip for the both of you minus shitty family gatherings with no one you know, right?!
you hope there’s at least one dog. and alcohol.
dog + alcohol at a party = an actual fun fucking time
you were glad Yoosung was there with you because he honestly couldn’t agree with you more
You opened your beach-side resort room to find there’s only one bed.
Yoosung blanched and quickly dialed his auntie, who’d made the resort reservations
“Ah...hi auntie! Um, how come there isn’t a separate room for me and y/n?”
his aunt cackled into the phone, “Aren’t you an old fashioned little gentlemen!!! Awe~~~ you’ve grown up to be such a good boy! <3 Well don’t worry, I won’t say a word to my sister or your pops. Enjoy the time you have with your adorable girlfriend and get it on a little!! I’ve got condoms if ya need ‘em honey~~ Remember dearie, when the shlong is not covered, the child support better be.”
Yoosung hurriedly hung up the phone, his face completely red, praying you hadn’t heard the conversation that’d just ensued.
You did
but you smile and say, “So.. what’d they say?”
He cleared his throat before saying, “Well, --err.. Basically there’s been a little mishap. B-but don’t worry!! I can just ask Chaewon if I can spend the night in his room.”
“Didn’t you say he leaves a sock on the door handle every time--”
“YES but I want you to be comfortable, okay! It’s really not a big deal.”
You shyly smiled while looking down before softly saying, “You can sleep with me.”
Yoosung’s eyes widened and you quickly looked up, your face flushing to a deep crimson
“I-I-I meant in the bed!!! With me. We can lie together. In the bed---- I mean we--”
Yoosung could practically see the steam coming out of your ears and the room felt a LOT hotter
“S-sure! Sounds great.” he had a feeling if you didn’t agree you’d end up embarrassing yourself further.. and he didn’t want you to feel bad. And he didn’t want those thoughts circulating his mind again.
“Alright, so I’m going to hop in the shower, y/n... unless you want to go first?”
Gulping down some complimentary water you’d found in the hotel mini fridge, you quickly replied with a shake of your head.
Nodding, Yoosung make quick work of washing his hair and trying to give himself a pep talk before he would be sleeping next to you.
Thankful for the big size of the resort bed, you climbed under the covers, already beginning to feel sleep take you
When Yoosung had at last dried himself off and walked out to the bed area of the resort room, he gazed at how small you looked, hugging a soft pillow in your arms, your eyes fluttered shut
He looked away, feeling like a creep.
He shut off the light after making a call to the resort staff to wake him up at 8AM as directed by his uncle’s itinerary
He slid under the covers, shoving a pillow in between the two of you as a little border to separate the two of you
it wasn’t until further in the night when Yoosung had felt a jolt and he looked up in panic, through the blackness recognizing the pillow-border had been cast onto the ground
and even more noticeably, your leg was swung over his hip, your body flush to his own
your arms were snaked around his neck
he felt like he could feel every inch of you
your soft breath just below his ear
your soft .. er.. chest... against his torso
your stomach and .. the rest of it... against his own
Yoosung could not breathe
like someone actually help this man for he is losing oxygen by the minute
He squeezed his eyes shut and make the executive decision to wait it out til morning
he was terrified that if he’d move you, you’d wake up and see just how much you affect him.
And so, when the phone rang that morning, you’d startled, looking up to see your tangled limbs lying on top of his own
“oH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY YOOSUNG UGH IT’S A HABIT OF MINE AHAHHSAHDAJSHS”
he looked at you with eyes that had noticeable circles under them (darker than even after his LOLOL gaming)
“you look like you didn’t sleep much.... --- Is it because of me!? Oh my god I’m so sorry you should’ve just shoved me off or something seriously I didn’t mean to do it on purpose, honest!!”
“N-no, no it’s really not!! I promise!!” He tried his best to grin, though it probably looked like a grimace, because the next thing you said was, “I’ll make it up to you”
“You don’t need to do that. Really, I liked it.”
It took a moment for him to realize what he just said.
“I-I mean I like you! I mean I liked sleeping with you!!! I mean--!!”
Yoosung was quickly spinning circles in his mind
you couldn’t help the little giggle that came out of your mouth, “I guess we’re pretty similar, huh?”
Yoosung smiled lightly, “Yeah, guess so.”
You walked out together toward the breakfast area of the resort
“Hey”, you started, “Is.. Did you mean what you said? About liking me?”
Yoosung glanced away, taking a deep breath before saying, “Yeah, yeah I did. I really like you.”
You couldn’t hold back the big ol’ smile that took over your face as you proudly declared, “Me too!!”
Right when Yoosung was going to go in for a kiss, he saw his auntie suddenly right next to the both of you
“Oh my GOD when did you get here?!”
She smirked, “My question first, dearie, what did you two like?”
Neither of you answered, your cheeks growing red
“You know, the first time your uncle did it with me I felt the same way. Like, what a man! Must run in the fam--”
“OKAY! THANK YOU FOR THAT AUNTIE BUT BREAKFAST IS CALLING MY NAME MM SMELLS GOOD SEE YOU LATER.”
Your blush didn’t leave you as you smeared strawberry cream cheese on your toasted bagel
This trip was going to be very VERY difficult. Thank God there was alcohol. And Yoosung. And probably dogs. And Yoosung.
Yeah.
Gotta love relatives.
Jumin
You received a call from a stern voice you didn’t recognize
<<“Hello. This is Mr. Han’s chauffeur. I’m approximately 6.3 miles away from your residence. Do not worry about clothes or other necessities. All will be provided for you.”>>
“Uh.. thanks? Where....?”
<<“Mr. Han has invited you to join him on his stay at the Ppalgan Vineyard Estates. Have you not received the notification?”>>
You glanced at your phone, seeing two unread messages on your phone.
You read them, feeling bad you hadn’t seen them before.
“Yes, yes of course. Thank you. Tell him I said thank you. Are you sure it’s okay for me to attend?”
<<“Miss Y/L/N, Mr. Han gave me specific instructions to assure you would be able to come with him. I have been ordered to give 2 minute updates following your being picked up. I can assure you, it is his utmost wish that you join him this weekend. I’d be honored to thank him on your behalf, though I feel it would mean much more to him if you said it to him rather than me.” >>
“You’re right, thank you. And thanks for driving me. And for all the other stuff you said”, you replied nervously.
<<”There is no need to thank me, Miss. I am glad to serve Mr. Han in anyway I can.”>>
The call hung up before you could spout out more thank yous
you phone buzzed, startling you.
you clicked the notification
<<(XXX-XXX-XXXX HAN COMPANIES) I’ve arrived at your residence. Let me know if there is anything I can carry for you. Sent 13:52>>
You quickly texted a reply of gratitude before rushing down the stairs out of your apartment, not wanting to make Jumin’s chauffeur wait.
“Good to see you Miss Y/L/N. Is there anything I can get you? I have been given orders to purchase anything you may want or need on our way to the airport.”
He quickly texted something on his phone, presumably a text to Jumin about your safe arrival to his limo.
“A-airport? You mean, like, flying? Are you sure I don’t need my wallet? It’s not too late for me to go grab it, right? I have my debit card on my phone too, otherwise.”
“Miss Y/L/N you are not to spent a single won on this vacation. All is paid for.”
“But my clothes... I don’t want Jumin to have to pay for all new things!!”
"I assure you, money is not something Mr. Han wishes for you to be concerned with.”
You’d stayed silent at that, feeling bad that you’d already bothered the poor man who’d just been ordered to drive you, not reassure you of Jumin’s financial affairs.
You grew quiet, looking out the window as trees, streets, and cars zoomed past you.
“If you so wish, there are numerous meals options in the compartments below the seats as well as alcohol, carbonated beverages and iced water glasses. You are, of course, welcome to any of these. Please do not hesitate to notify me if there is something you’d like instead. We’d glad to make it a regular option in all of our limousines.”
You flushed, embarrassed at the amount of power Jumin’s words, and effectively, your own seemed to have on the entire Han Conglomerate as a whole. You laughed a little, it was funny thinking to yourself that you had so much power as to decide snack options for Jumin’s cars.
Jumin was extra like that, he always went above and beyond to make you comfortable. You loved that about him. It made you feel a little spoiled, so you instinctively rejected most offers at things that seemed to further complicate his worker’s duties.
You had no idea that when the chauffeur had said airport he meant the Han Private Airway Transportation Zone.
As in... private jet.
It was hard not to feel like you were in a whole different world.
Not that Jumin treated you that way... but it was hard not to notice!
You bowed in thanks to the driver before hastily finding your way to the nearest man standing in another black suit, his hands folded together in front of him.
As soon as you uttered your name, his whole demeanor changed and he instantly had gone from cool and collected to humble and overwhelmingly kind.
He’d quickly made his way to the boarding area, escorting you to the jet before leaving you at a polite distance way from Jumin who’d been looking at you from the moment you’d entered the aircraft.
His eyes searched your own as you’d yet to discover his presence
He couldn’t help but rake his eyes up and down your body, admiring the way you could look just in anything.
He at last saw you searching the spacious cabin, at last laying eyes on him.
His heart pounded faster, as if your noticing him made his heart leap in joy
You looked relieved and smiled, running over to him and sitting down next to him
“Hi Jumin!! Oh, should I be calling you Mr. Han? That’s what your chauffeur called you.. sorry if that’s what I should’ve been addressing you as!!”
His deep voice rumbled in your ear, causing you to shudder, “Jumin is fine.”
You gazed up at him through your lashes, noticing the way his perfectly tailored vest made him look so... well... for lack of better word...hot.
“Wow. You look...” Your eyes moved from his hair, to his face, to his neck, to his torso, slowly to his groin, to his legs... before you realized what you’d been doing and quickly your eyes shot up again.
You bit your lip, “You look nice.”
“Nice?”
You laughed shyly, and slightly (embarrassingly) breathless, “Yeah. Yeah you do. Nice.”
Jumin couldn’t help the sly smile he’d been holding back before replying, “You look beautiful.”
You flushed and looked down, squirming in your seat a little before looking at him once more, offering a small, “..thank you..”
After a few minutes of silence, you’d decided to change the subject, chattering on about how you wondered what this mysterious vacation would hold
Jumin couldn’t help is concentration half on every word you were saying, but also your lips. Slowly licking his own, he nodded along when you’d gotten especially enthusiastic, grinning slightly when you’d gotten so excited you’d leapt out of your luxury seat.
Within a half hour of the trip to your destination in Italy, Jumin had trouble concentrating on much else.
Get it together, Jumin, you’re not some fool like Zen.
It’d gotten worse the more you’d leaned further in your seat, your chest becoming slightly exposed
he covered his mouth with a hand, opting for looking out one of the many windows of the jet.
You’d always caught his attention and made him lose his focus -- something he’d never lost before he met you
He blamed the strawberry sent that you’d always carried with you
He wasn’t much for expensive, faux perfume that so many of his father’s skanks would wear... it was like no other.
After a few hours of grueling torture on your part (though you hadn’t know every single time you’d grabbed his hand or arm it’d sent his heart on a sky dive) Jumin was glad to have arrived in the gorgeous Italian acreage of the countryside.
It was even more beautiful at the dusk of night, you’d decided
Immediately a shiny vehicle pulled up, ready to transport you and Jumin to the estate you were to be residing in for the weekend.
Upon pulling into the culdesac, you almost scoffed at the word “estate” -- it was more of a country in and of itself, land stretched beyond what you could see
The mansion itself stood on pillars and high, Gothic windows.
Inside, flying buttresses decorated the building, giving it an elegant and aged ambiance that you just adored
“It’s so beautiful.”
He smiled at you then, watching you take in the wonders he’d realized he took for granted.
He was then directed to a double-door entrance way, “Your room, Mr. Han, Miss Y/L/N.”
“Separate, correct?”
The man stood in surprise, looking slightly aghast, “T-they never specified such details.”
“Contact them immediately to confirm. I’ll work it out from there.”
“Yes, Mr. Han.” From there, the man scurried away to contact the head of the estate.
After a few moments, he returned, “The Rossi Conglomerate had assumed that you’d brought your fiance with you.”
“Did you mention I don’t have one?”
“Y-yes, of course! But, Mr. Han, your father--”
Jumin sighed, “I’ll take care of it.” with a wave of his hand, the man was gone
You thanked him on his way out.
Jumin looked at you, searching for a reaction of displeasure or worry
When he didn’t find one, he began, “I was notified the Rossi had booked their other estates to their American investors. My being here is a formality, but it is business. It would be a great discourtesy to demand--”
You smiled reassuringly, “Jumin, don’t worry about it.. we’ll share the bed, okay?” You held your hand in his own, rubbing soothing circles on his knuckles.
Jumin looked at you, choking on his spit slightly.
“Y/N you do understand that--”
“It’s fine, Jumin!! It’s late already, I’ll just put up my hair.. and.. do you know where the night clothes would be?”
He watched as you fixed a bobby pin between your teeth before running your fingers through your hair, watching as you arched your back to--
“Jumin? ...you don’t know?”
He cleared his throat, looking away, pink dusting his cheeks
“Bathroom.”
You thanked him, unaware of his watchful eyes
It had been a few seconds since you’d entered the bathroom before he heard a loud and alarmed, “..UM....JUMIN...?!”
He’d quickly made his way into the bathroom
“What’s wro--”
He looked and laying on the long granite island of the large bathroom was a silky set of lingerie as well as a note in Italian you couldn’t read.
Jumin’s words stopped dead on his lips as he stared at you, then the silky underwear set, you, silky underwear, you.......silky underwear.
On the outside, Jumin liked to think he came off as calm and collected, saying, “I can get you something else to wear.”
But when he’d made it two steps out of the bathroom he had a little collision. And by collision, I mean his face.. and the wall.
He looked in every drawer, finding nothing. He presumed clothes would be delivered as specified. But it was late already.. their servants are dismissed, only the protective guards surrounded the inside and outside of the estate.. explaining the situation to them didn’t seem very promising.
Of course you were kicking yourself, before you’d found their little....gift... you’d cast your days clothes into the washer. They were probably soaked by now.
Maybe I could use a hair dryer...? Or I could stuff them in the dryer??
Either way you’d be without clothes for.. too long.
And nothing would be greater punishment then showing all that in front of the man you had completely fallen for...
You heard a knock on the bathroom door. You listened from inside.
“Hey, I, uh, couldn’t find anything. Do you think you could wear your clothes from today?”
You whimpered, on the verge of tears, “I already put it in the washer!”
He knocked again, “Can I hand you something?”, he asked, undoing the buttons of his formal shirt.
“C-close your eyes!”
Jumin chuckled darkly before covering his eyes and handing her his collared shirt
“I’d give you the pants, too, but I don’t think they’d really fit you. Could you look at what they’d provided for me? Maybe slip on something from mine.”
“N-no! That’d be even worse for me!! .. and you!” You blushed again imagining him half naked
You hurriedly shuffled through the drawers, but to no avail.
You gulped, slipping on the lingerie to ensure that maybe something would be covered before buttoning Jumin’s formal shirt on you as well.
it was so big it didn’t leave much for the imagination
but you decided through a 10 minute pep talk that you’d suck it up and try your best to make his shirt into a night gown.
You at last stepped out of the bathroom, Jumin’s head shooting toward the sudden noise before taking you in
He could scarcely breathe, much less come up with a coherent sentence
you were in his shirt...
with barely any clothes on underneath
and you looked up at him shyly, biting your lip a little
drawing even more attention to your lips
Jumin had to stifle a groan, opting to head to the bathroom to change
After splashing some cold water on his face in a poor attempt to get his head out of the gutter, he quickly got on his pjs
after you both were ready for bed, Jumin sat on the bed, opening a small novel he’d been enjoying, Anthem.
His attention was immediately diverted from the dystopian fiction when he saw you were stretching
His shirt rode up high as he took in the way the lingerie perfect accentuated your curves, though it didn’t cover much below the waist
Noticing your folly, your eyes widened in shock before you immediately put your hands down
which, just your luck, made it all worse.
the sudden movement disheveled the shirt, causing it to ride down completely on one side, openly displaying the soft brassiere beneath it
Jumin slammed his book so hard it left an echo in the large room.
Great. He couldn’t even make it look like his book was suddenly unbelievably interesting that he just so happened to not take notice of the obvious sight before him.
You blanched, feeling a breeze along your shoulder, gasping before running to your side of the bed and pretending you don’t exist anymore
Meanwhile Jumin is in a c r i s i s
In the most eloquent of words, his mind said holy fucking motherfucking shit oh my God fuck fuck fuck AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH oh my god shit shit shit fuck shit sdfasodjgiajsidogjosdg MALFUNCTION!! WARNING!!!! RUN BITCH!!!
But Jumin didn’t run
because mama ain’t raise no bitch
but also because if he stood up it would be blatantly obvious that he had--
Stop thinking about it, Jumin.
He tried to redirect his mind to his 5 senses, a grounding technique he’d learned when he got too anxious when he was younger
But sight seemed to dominate it as his mind replayed your facial expressions, the way your hands awkwardly tried to cover yourself up, the way you looked the way he’d take it all off---
Oh God. I’m deep in shit.
He had never been so pissed at himself... and embarrassed.
He looked over at you, a horrible decision, really.
You were still awake, your face was redder than the strawberry sent that adorned you
“s-sorry..” you whispered, willing yourself to try to forget, “pretend that never happened..”
Jumin was practically feral and you were saying it never happened?
Jumin couldn’t just pretend he didn’t just see a fucking goddess
but he would for you
“..........pretend what never happened?”
You sighed, a small smile on your face as you quickly turned to thank him
but he was a LOT closer than you imagined
he was propped up on one elbow, looking down at you, his head slightly angled.
And suddenly your faces weren’t so far apart.
And you couldn’t help but slowly close your eyes
Jumin felt confusion when you’d done this
he can be a bit of a pea brain, so he of course said, “I’m sure you’re very tired.”
He shut off the light, reaching over you
You held back the big frown you’d gotten when you realized he’d rejected you
unbeknownst to you that it took everything in him, from the moment he’d saw you in the jet cabin, not to scoop you up in his arms and make out with you the whole way there.
Zen
Was Zen going to invite you to his own fucking tour?
Of course he was
he liked flexing his connections
and most of all, showing you just how much he cared about you
and loved you
but not the love part because God if you ever found out Zen might jump into the nearest body of water and never return
not that he didn’t have any confidence
he has lots of it
but it all kind of disintegrates when he gets to talking about his real feelings
But come on, it was blatantly obvious to anyone who had heckin eyes
or ears
or just any functioning body
the way he’d try to subtly throw an arm over your shoulder
or he’d lean in whenever you spoke
or the way he’d readjust his posture when you walked into a room
or the way everyone caught him staring
like anytime you weren’t looking
or when you are looking because he is “built different”
So the limo ride to the fancy hotel he was to stay at was something that had him looking forward to the tour, but also dreading it
you’d sat close to him in the limo because his agent and other workers were sitting along with him.
So close that your ass got pushed further and further onto his lap
because damn where the fuck are we and why are there so many goddamn potholes
Zen tried to steady you by firmly grabbing your hips
which was NOT the move
because now that you were firmly set on his lap, every bump felt like a fucking war against his hormones.
Like a gentleman, he quickly opted to seat you next to him, not wanting you to feel embarrassed
still, he could feel you being pulled closer to him with every long turn the limo made or every bump or abrupt stop
and it was torture.
like this man is sweating
but by some miracle you arrive at the hotel in one piece! Yay!
but Zen’s soul has left his body~~
so you get set up
You open the room, “Look, Zen! This bed is HUGE!!”, you ran over to it and plopped your face onto the sheets
He chuckled, watching you act like a little kid excited about a hotel for the first time
his brows furrowed when he realized there was no door separator between your rooms
He immediately called the front desk
all you could over hear was “No, there seems to be some kind of mistake”
and “I reserved two rooms -- conjoined”
“Alright, ok. Thanks.” and then he hung up.
“So..” he sighed, “They can’t get another room because they’re completely booked. Someone must’ve recognized the limo and lots of fans immediately bought up all the rooms in hopes of seeing me.”
“It’s alright Zen! I can ask to switch with your agent or something!!”
“NO!” Zen said a little too loudly. “No. Um, look it would be bad because he’s a man.”
“Your a dude, too, Zen.”
“I-- yeah, but that’s different because I’m a guy you can trust.”
“True..”
“So I’ll sleep on the couch, ‘kay?”
“Zen, no! You need your beauty sleep to be ready for your performance tomorrow!!!”
“It’s alright, really!”
“I’ll sleep on the couch!”
“Like hell you will.”
“Please :(”
“Y/N, seriously--”
“Then how about this! You and I just sleep in the same bed!”
Ever the dramatic soul, Zen gasped with his palm over his heart “How SCANDALOUS!”
“Aren’t you supposed to be Mr. Playboy?”
“Only for you, baby”, he winked.
You stuttered, “T-that’s not funny! Seriously don’t make it weird you horn- dog!”
He threw his head back in laughter, “Horn-dog?! I thought you said you trusted me!”
“Not when you’re obviously thinking about doing this and that to me!!”
“Doing this and tha---Hey! Who do you think I am?!”
There was suddenly a loud bang on the wall and a burly man shouted, “GO TO FUCKIN’ SLEEP YOU OBNOXIOUS, SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED LITTLE SHITS!”
You smirked, holding in a laugh saying, “Sounds like your fans are getting jealous.”
Zen’s mouth dropped and you began laughing hysterically
“T-that was like a 60 year old man!”
“I’M 42 YOU LITTLE SHIT”
You fell back on the bed, laughing louder
Zen shouted back, “WELL EXCUSE ME, SEXY, 42 YEAR OLD MAN”
There was silence before a harsh knock sounded at your door
All Zen’s bravado disintegrated and he made a dash for the bed, whispering loudly for you to “Turn off the fuckin’ lights, turn off the fuckin’ lights!”
You stifled more giggles rising up to your throat as you clicked off the light, making sure the room was locked, and climbed into bed
you breathed out your last laughs, sighing to yourself contentedly before noticing the close proximity you were to Zen
You stared at each other for a long moment
You leaned in closer
Zen placed a palm on your cheek, gently cupping it
he softly whispered, “Can I kiss you?”
You answered by harshly connecting your lips
The two of you feeding off each other’s oxygen as Zen bit your lip, causing you to gasp and open your mouth to make way for his tongue
you whimpered, feeling faint from lack of oxygen
the two of you parted, out of breath
Zen wanted to say something smooth like “I’ve always wanted to do that.”
but instead he said “I’ve always wanted to do you.”
He mentally smacked his head, blaming the lack of oxygen for his stupidity
But you smirked up at him coyly, replying, “Then why don’t you?”
Um yeah rip your hotel neighbor he will literally hate both of you so much
I had honestly SO MUCH FUN writing this!! Let me know if you want, like, a part two to this. I think I’d just be so fun lol
#707#zen x reader#jumin han x reader#yoosung fluff#yoosung fanfic#yoosung mm#mm jumin#jumin x reader#jumin han#han jumin#saeyoung choi#luciel choi#seven zero seven#yoosung x reader#seven x reader#saeyoung x reader#myseme#mystic messenger#707 mystic messenger#mystic messenger zen#mystic messenger 707#mystic mess#yoosung mystic messenger#mystic messenger jaehee#mystic messenger jumin#mystic messenger rika#mystic messenger saeran#mystic messenger fanfic#mystic messenger headcanon#mystic messenger saeyoung
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drink deeply
or, as they say at samwell, “penitus potes.” shitty gives the toast at jack and bitty’s wedding. for @zimbitsweddingofficial and day two of zimbits wedding week: the wedding itself!
just for fun, a draft version of the beginning of this fic with lardo, ransom, and holster’s “helpful” edits can be found via google doc here. hope y’all enjoy! <3
Good evening, everyone! On behalf of Jack and Eric, thank you all so much for being here tonight, and welcome to what could very well be the most highly anticipated wedding reception of 2019. I mean, this party was planned by the likes of Suzanne Bittle and Alicia Zimmermann. We are in for a treat, folks.
Before we get to all that, I’d also like to extend a particular welcome to those in attendance who are part of the playing, coaching, and/or office staff of the Providence Falconers. Glad you could all make it this evening; I know this past week was a little bit busy for you guys.
[Insert appropriate pause and gesture to the punch bowl, which on closer inspection is actually—oh yeah—the Stanley Cup the Falcs won three days ago. Hold for inevitable applause, general hysteria, and/or hooting/hollering from Tater.]
For those of you who don’t know me, I’ve been trying to decide whether I should introduce myself by my first name, which will inevitably get me mocked by my friends until the end of time, or by my nickname, which will definitely scandalize anyone who has not spent a significant amount of time around twenty-year-old guys who play hockey. However, as I look around the room, I’m realizing that most of you probably either raised, spent significant time around, or were once a twenty-year-old guy who played hockey. To the rest of you, I am profoundly sorry.
So, hi! I’m Shitty, and I’m Jack’s best man.
read more below or on ao3
Being someone’s best man, as I’ve realized over the last few months, should really come with a playbook or an instruction manual or something, because it’s a task unlike any other you’ll ever take on. In addition to being a friend, you have to be a confidant, an expert at bachelor-party debauchery (I think my college resume definitely prepared me for this part) and someone who’s not afraid to step in to make last-minute decisions so the grooms don’t have to. You also have to do all of these things without getting fired from your job or stepping on anyone’s toes, up to and including: the couple getting married, the other people in the wedding party, the grooms’ parents, the wedding planner, and most importantly, Moomaw, whose word is law around here.
(Seriously. She made the pie tonight, people. Bow down to her.)
But as much as the role can feel a little bit like you’re being thrown in at the deep end, it also definitely comes with its perks. Tonight, I have both the honor and the challenge of somehow summarizing how much I love Jack and Eric in a speech that is heartfelt and witty yet also brief so that we can get to the aforementioned pie as quickly as possible. If you’re still following me here, that is a tall order—but here goes nothing!
I met Jack Zimmermann on our first day of freshman year at Samwell, during the bright, hot summer of 2011. I was participating in the time-honored tradition of moving into a dorm on the third floor of a building with no elevator and no air conditioning in the middle of August. It builds character, or so the good folks in Samwell administration probably tell themselves. Anyway, athletes got to move in early for preseason, so I was expecting to be one of the only guys on the floor for at least a couple days. I was just carrying the last box into my room when the door next to mine opened and—well, you can probably guess who walked out.
Now, I grew up in Boston, which means I also grew up around hockey culture. I’d heard the news that Jack was coming to Samwell, so I knew who he was when he stepped into the hall in that same vague way that you kind of-sort of recognize celebrities hustling down the street or through the airport with their sunglasses on. And he gave me that same vibe—“I know you know who I am, and I’d very much like not to be bothered about it.”
Here is something that will not shock you if you know us: Jack was the first friend I made in college. Here is something that might shock you if you know us: That definitely doesn’t mean we were friends at first. By his own admission, Jack wasn’t at Samwell to make friends at all. He told me, much later, that he was only planning to go to play hockey, get his life back on track, and keep his head down as much as possible.
So in retrospect, maybe it was an unlucky thing for Jack that he ran into the one person who wasn’t going to let him do that.
Because no matter who you are or where you’re from, freshman year of college breeds a unique kind of terror I’ve never felt anywhere else. There’s a lot of pressure to completely remake yourself, to become the person you maybe never could have been in your hometown. By coming to Samwell, I wanted to be a different kind of kid than the one that Andover had raised. Jack wanted to be a different kind of kid than the one he’d spent twenty years telling himself he had to be. As much as neither of us wanted to admit it, we both wanted similar things out of our college experience, and we needed a support system to do that. And so, however begrudging the two of us were about it at first, we started to bond more and more.
It wasn’t always easy. For one thing, my idea of a good time was a lot louder than Jack’s—who enjoyed such scintillating pursuits as “watching golf” and “going to bed at a reasonable hour”, neither of which were quite in my vocabulary at the ripe old age of eighteen. Also, if it’s before six in the morning, he has a hard time remembering to speak English, which used to make for a lot of stilted conversations between the two of us as we walked to early morning practice. (On a completely unrelated note, the first and probably only thing I ever learned in Québécois is how to swear.)
I don’t remember the exact tipping point at which Jack and I really became friends; I think it was more of a quiet acknowledgment that we liked having each other around, that we balanced each other out in ways that neither of us initially knew we needed. What I do know is that, slowly but surely, I started to get glimpses of the Jack that exists off the ice. And so began one of the most extraordinary journeys of my life, because the only thing crazier than knowing Jack Zimmermann is actually knowing Jack.
Here are some things that I’ve learned in the process: He’s on his third pair of neon yellow running shoes, which he buys specifically because the color makes him happy. Before either of us tried Eric’s pies, the only thing that could make him cheat on a meal plan was a sleeve of Double Stuf Oreos. (Don’t ask him how to eat them correctly unless you’re interested in a twenty-minute speech on exactly how they have to be pulled apart.) And he loves Captain America, although it is the opinion of this best man that America’s ass has nothing on his hockey butt. Have you seen that thing? It has Internet fans in at least two different countries.
But I digress.
In our sophomore year we lived next to each other again, by choice instead of by chance, in what I can only describe as the pinnacle of American college living: the Samwell Men’s Hockey Haus. We used to pull the comforter off of one of our beds and climb out onto the roof and clear off the snow so we could share the blanket, look up at the stars, and listen to the bass thumping through the wall of the house next door. On nights when other things felt confusing, this one part of my life was clear. There’s something about sitting out under the open sky that just makes it easier to talk to a guy, you know?
Some nights the conversations we had were funny. Some nights they were serious. Some nights we said nothing at all, just sat secure in the knowledge that someone cared enough to exist alongside us for a little while. There was always an unspoken agreement between us on nights like these: I got your back. For me, Jack’s friendship became a rock, a refuge. It’s something that I came to depend on that year and still do to this day.
As for the content of those late-night conversations—well, some things do have to stay between friends. I’m sure Jack will agree, especially because he has so graciously allowed me to get up here and lovingly roast him just a little bit.
So let’s skip ahead again, to yet another August, the start of our junior year, and the arrival on the scene of one Eric Bittle. This kid burst into our ranks like a ray of Southern sunshine and turned pretty much everything upside down in the process. In the first five minutes of being in the Haus, he somehow made us a pie? Folks, I'm not kidding, it was the best thing I’ve ever eaten. We were a bunch of guys who didn’t know what we were missing until we had it, and let me tell you, it was one hell of a semester after that. In pretty short order we had curtains on the windows and baked goods on the counters, and Samwell Men’s Hockey started to become not only a team but a family.
That was off the ice, at least. On it, things were a little more complicated. As our dear friend and former goalie John Johnson said to me, Jack and Eric hadn’t gone through their character development yet—whatever that means.
Take our third or fourth practice with the full team that year, for example. It had gone… uh. Poorly, would be a word. Later that night I heard some rustling on the roof outside, and God knows I was willing to do just about anything but my homework—so I stuck my head out the window and there was Jack, watching the stars. I asked him if he wanted a buddy, and he said alright, so I slid out and sat down next to him.
That was pretty usual for us at this point. What wasn’t usual was the topic of conversation. The first thing Jack said to me was, “Bittle’s gonna get eaten alive when our schedule starts.” (Remember, people, they’re married now!) The second was, “I want to help.”
Here’s another thing about Jack: Underneath the veneer is a guy who just cares so intensely it’d shock you if you knew nothing else about him. It shocked me a little that day. I think it even shocked him to admit it, to the point where I had to say, “Jack, it’s not a criminal offense to care about other people. Even if it feels like you’re doing it for yourself.”
So he helped. He offered an olive branch, and Bits took him up on it. I’d hear the two of them get up in the morning, hours before the rest of us had to be at Faber, for checking practice. None of the rest of us ever knew exactly what went down, but one thing was for sure—Eric put in a ton of work to overcome some of the fears that had followed him to college. He got better, and Jack relaxed. The two of them really started working as a team, and things started looking up from there.
The day that they told us they were dating was pretty amazing. Eric is so full of light no matter how bleak a situation may look, but that day he was literally almost glowing. And I’ve seen Jack in moments after victory and loss, at his best and at his worst. But I’ve never seen a Jack who was so happy, possessed of such confidence in a decision he’d made, as I saw him that day at brunch. And that’s when I knew this relationship was really special.
From there, many of you know the story. You watched it play out on ESPN and social media and the front pages of every single gossip magazine on the supermarket shelves. But if you’re sitting here with us tonight, you also watched it play out between Jack and Eric themselves. You’ve watched them handle expectations as a united front. You’ve watched their unfailing dedication to each other while they navigate the pressure of being some pretty big firsts. You know that, behind the scenes, these are two incredibly genuine people who bring out the best in each other and are dedicated to doing that every single day.
In the last four years, I’ve watched Eric become self-possessed and confident because he was given the space to do so. In the last six years, I’ve watched Jack grow from a kid with a chip on his shoulder and something to prove to a guy who finally believes that he deserves all the good things the world has given him and then some. If you take nothing else away from this speech, I want you to know this: I’m incredibly proud to call myself a friend to both of them.
Jack, Bits, you’re always gonna be my brothers, my best friends, and two of the finest damn men I’ve ever had the pleasure to know. I wish you both a long and happy marriage. Take care of each other, be good to each other, and never forget where you started—as a team.
So please join me in raising your glasses, everyone, and as they say at Samwell—penitus potes to Jack and Eric!
#shitty knight#jack zimmermann#eric bittle#zimbitswedding#omgcp#check please#this idea jumped into my head and refused to leave#shitty & jack & bitty friendship my beloved#my writing
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Kevin and the Coffee Shop
An: hey y’all! Sorry this chapter is a little short, just some of the lads goofing around. Hope you enjoy!
Chapter 4
The next few days were spent trying to cheer Brian up. Seán had closed down shop for a while, Electing to make sure Brian was ok and giving everyone a break. The Craig fiasco had affected them all in a way.
Currently the lads were playing Mario Kart, as had been tradition whenever one of them was feeling down. Kevin was currently in last, the benifits of being Turg weighs heavily on his shoulders, and Brian and Dan fighting for first place. Daithi was screaming about getting hit by red shells while Seán laughed. It was a very peaceful day.
“Should we let Turg win lads?” A call from Dan broke the concentration silence
“Nah fuck em” Brian responded laughing
“Alright well now I’m gonna use my blue shell” Kevin respond and laughed when both Brian and Dan shouted.
Seán and Daithi laughed as Brian’s speech went from coherent to no idea what was being said. Once the race finished up the lads were considering what other games to play
“Seán when are you gonna open up shop again” Brian asked. Silence came over the call, as it was obvious that the question had been bothering the rest of the lads for a while.
“Well I was gonna open tomorrow but with your injury and Craig I wasn’t sure-“
“Ah don’t worry about me, doc said it wouldn’t even scar too bad” Brian cut in chuckling “beside I can kick his ass any day”
“If he doesn’t throw hot coffee on you” Daithi said. On screen Kevin could see him rolling his eyes
“I’ll dodge next time”
“Seán” Kevin cut in “when do I get my training? For ya know the coffee and stuff”
“Well I said Wednesday but if you want to come in tomorrow so we can get you set in the system and you can shadow Daithi or-“
“No no he cannot shadow me” Daithi snapped “he gets on my nerves with raft I don’t want him to be by my side all the time”
“I can take him tomorrow” Dan said quickly “hes gotta learn all the cleaning bits first, like you lads did.”
Brian laughed “then it’s settled, he’ll train with dan and then Daithi”
“Wait what-“
“Works for me” Kevin smiled, with a glint in his eyes
“Then that’s what we’ll do!” Seán laughed as Daithi once again tried to cut in to express his dismay.
“Daithi you’re stuck with me” Kevin laughed “Seán’s orders”
“Alright let’s just play Mario Party” Daithi huffed, booting up the game. Brian decided to sit that one out, casually commenting about how Dan was still winning despite changing the game.
They played that for a few hours, Dan won two games and Daithi won one, till Brian had to go. He bid them good night and that he’d see them in the morning.
After that the rest of the lads finished their final game of Mario party and decided to call it a night.
“Kevin, don’t forget you have to be in by 5:00 got it?”
“Yup Seán I’ll remember” he said setting an alarm on his phone “see you then”
Seán hung up and Kevin took the time to power down his computer. Deciding it was time to get something to eat, he went to his kitchen. Opening the fridge he grabbed the gallon of milk, a bowl and his favorite cereal. ‘Nothing like a good bit of cereal before bed’ he thought jokingly. Kevin finished his cereal, got ready and headed to bed. Excited for what tomorrow would bring.
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I got a little angry on main last night, and was probably more abrasive here than I needed to be. But I NEED people to understand that both parties are NOT the same.
And in this two party system, it can be life or death for people some of us care about. That is why tempers are high. It’s personal. When my mom lived in a red state, she had no access to mental health facilities. They just didn’t exist. She had to stay in a drug rehab facility, where she had no supervision and no support and spiraled to the point where we were getting calls from the police almost weekly. She wouldn’t take her medication, would take too much, wasn’t eating, and was more paranoid than she’d been in decades. Then my sister and I took time off, drove there, and moved her to a blue state. We got her into an actual mental health facility.
She now has her own apartment.
If you think there isn’t a reason to support Biden, then you are blessed to not rely on the services that the so-called “deep state” provides. I’m glad. But if you really think having Trump again is worth the risk of showing Biden how upset you are, what you are really saying is that people like my mom don’t matter. People like my friends, those with trans children, don’t matter. People suffering in areas without abortion access don’t matter. You might have some semblance of a point if Trump would be better about supporting Israel, but he won’t. You don’t even have that.
The ONLY reason Biden is as progressive as he is is because Bernie’s run proved that young people will get involved and support a candidate who fights for progressive things. If y’all don’t give that support, then he will try to get it from more conservative voters. He will try to reason with the voter base that he thinks he can win the support of, every time. You can criticize him without denying reality. You can fight to change our systems, and talk about not liking needing to vote for him, without minimizing all of the reasons we do still need to vote for him.
Sorry for coming in hot on this. I just clearly remember 2016. And it is so frustrating, even after watching them not learn the lesson people tried to teach by not voting, that some still insist withholding votes is the answer. It doesn’t make a difference. All it does is hurt the people around you who will be impacted by a second Trump term. That includes the Palestinian Americans that this post says it is trying to support - the ones Trump and other Republicans have already openly spoken about deporting.
it’s like people forget that some of us have family and close friends outside of the US. it’s already reprehensible to tell anyone to vote for someone who commits genocide “over there” because you believe he’s less likely to commit genocide “over here,” but it’s plain foolish to tell someone to vote for the man who killed their cousin
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Half As Pretty
Heather Series Part 5
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
The Song Mentioned in the chapter, Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars aka, the song that made me sob because it was too perfect for this damn fic. I recommend listening to it while you read the part its mentioned in.
Summery: Reader is experiencing her own personal hell, but one midnight confession sets everything ablaze.
Words: 3.4k I told y’all it’d be longer.
Warnings: Swearing, mentions of nicotine addiction, the beginning of an alcohol addiction, suicidal thoughts, slight manipulation from one Derek Morgan, and just a whole lotta hurt.
Paring: Spencer Reid x Heather Charmical, eventual (I promise) Spencer Reid x Female!Reader
A/N: Okay.....I’m finna be real honest.....I was listening to my music on shuffle when Poison and Wine came on, and I started crying while typing, and than I re-listened to it while typing this up and proceeded to cry again. It took me about 3 minutes of psyching myself up to write ONE sentence near the end of it because I knew there was no going back once I wrote it. This was so hard to write in the most beautiful way possible, and I really hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Shout out to @toosassy2handle for the recommendation of Heather's last name. It’s long and annoying and just reminds me of a stuck up bitch so its perfect.
~~~~~~
I used to love weddings.
They were always so well put together.
I’d always admire the pretty bride, the dress, everything.
I dreamed of having one of my own one day. And when I met Spencer, those daydreams changed so that I was walking down the aisle towards him instead of someone whose face I could never quite focus on.
But that’s all I’m ever going to have. Daydreams.
Because here I sit, all dolled up next to his mother, at none other than Spencer Reid’s wedding.
It’s obvious Heather did most of the planning.
I don’t take him as a ‘dusty rose’ type of person.
I stare at the soft colors and delicate flowers, and fire burns deep within me.
I want to burn this place to the ground.
I can’t, though.
I’m supportive.
I’m happy for Spencer.
I’m happy that he’s happy.
I’m happy.
I’m happy.
I’m happy.
I look down at my hands, playing with the hem of my burgundy party dress.
I don’t think I’ve been this dressed up since….
I think I threw that dress away when I got home that night.
I don’t remember much of that night after coming back to the table.
I’m positive I drank at least half the champagne they had.
Derek had to carry me home.
“My son didn’t plan any of this.”
I look over, and see Diana scowling at the decor.
I can’t help but let a small smile spread across my face.
At least she agrees with me.
I lean in closer to her, so our words can only be heard by us.
“I completely agree. He’s more of a ‘dark academia’ kind of guy.”
She smiles at me, reaching her hand over, and patting my leg. “You know when he told me he was getting married, I thought it was going to be to you.”
My heart stops. “Y-You did?”
She nods, looking around the room like she hadn’t just said something that made my world stop spinning. “I didn’t meet Heather until a week after he told me. That’s when I learned that they were dating in the first place. I can’t say I wasn’t disappointed.”
I bring a hand up to my mouth, covering the smile and laugh threatening to spill.
“But she makes him happy. Anyone can see that.”
The smile falls, and the laugh dies.
“Though, he did bring you to meet me not too long after meeting you himself.”
I nod, remembering the trip. “It had been a month. I had known him for a month, and he really wanted me to meet you. I was so nervous. I really wanted you to like me.”
Her smile is big, and her hand finds one laying in my lap, squeezing it.
“I liked you the minute he told me about you.”
I loved Diana.
I will always love Diana.
I open my mouth to say something, but someone a few rows back says ‘Here comes the groom.’
I turn my head, and low and behold, there he is, walking with the biggest smile on his face towards the front. He stands, with his hands clasped in front of him, as he waits like the rest of us.
He looks stunning, in a simple black and white tux.
His eyes meet mine, and I smile at him.
He winks back at me.
The moment doesn’t last long before a song starts, and a hush falls over the crowd.
Slowly, one by one, bridesmaids and groomsmen make their way down the aisle.
Derek is the best man, and he pats Spencer's shoulder as he takes his position behind him.
And then the music shifts, and while she starts to walk, something dawns on me.
I will never be as pretty as she is.
She’s breathtaking.
She’s practically glowing in the white satin ballgown, a bouquet of roses clutched in her hands.
She’s looking around at the crowd, smiling and nodding and it’s only when she’s halfway down the aisle that she meets his eyes.
I look at him, and I don’t think there are any words that can explain the look of pure joy written across his face.
JJ, who is sitting beside me, reaches over and grabs my free hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.
She reaches the front, and all eyes are trained on her, but I can’t tear mine away from him.
He holds her hand so delicately, and I can see him fighting back tears.
I don’t even notice when vows are said and rings are exchanged. I only notice when I see JJ look at me from the corner of her eye as the officiant says “If anyone has any objection to the marriage of these two people, speak now, or forever hold your peace.”
For a moment, I think about it.
“Me! I do!”
The crowd gasps as I make my way towards the front.
“I do. I object.”
His eyes are wide and she looks furious.
“Why do you object?” The officiant says, startled.
“Because I love you.” I’m looking directly at him.
“I love you, Spencer.”
No.
No, I can’t.
I’d lose everything.
You’d be a selfish bitch is what you would be.
“Then do you, Heather Charmical, take Spencer Reid to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
“I do.”
Tears are lipping out of my eyes, though my eyes are not the only wet ones in the room.
I can blame it on the emotions. I wouldn’t be technically lying.
“And do you, Spencer Reid, take Heather Charmical, to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
Please say no.
“I do.”
I don’t have a heart anymore.
This just confirmed it.
“Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”
He takes her face between her hands, and places his lips on hers in a passionate kiss.
That’s it.
They’re married.
People clap and cheer, and they lock hands, walking back down the aisle, now together by law.
I want to puke.
People start to get up, and I suddenly can’t breath.
My chest rises and falls, and I shoot a glance at JJ, before making my way through the crowd as respectively as possible to leave the room as quickly as I can.
I look down to my bag once I make my way into the vast hallway, digging and searching for my cigarettes when I ram into someone, dropping my purse, and spilling the contents over the smooth tile floor.
“Fuck.”
“Hey hey hey, what’s the rush baby girl?”
I look up to see Derek, kneeling down to help me pick up my stuff.
“I just, I just um,”
Breath, y/n, just fucking breath.
“I just really need to find a bathroom. I shouldn’t have drank all that tea before coming here.”
I shove things back into my purse, not even really looking, before standing back up.
“I’ll find you and Pen in a bit. Promise.”
I don’t wait for him to answer, turning and walking away before he gets a chance to speak.
I’ll find a bathroom eventually.
~~~~
When is an appropriate time to leave the wedding of your best friend, whom you're secretly in love with, without seeming rude?
Because I need to leave.
I’m afraid of what I’ll do if I don’t.
My right leg is crossed over my left, shaking with every anxious heartbeat.
People have plates full of food, and are mingling with drinks from the open bar, another thing that I know for a fact Spencer had nothing to do with.
I’ve barely touched the food on my plate, my appetite gone, at least not for anything other than the fruity little cocktails that keep appearing in front of me.
I’m about to get up and find someone, probably JJ, that I got sick in the ladies room, and to tell Spencer I’m sorry, when he walks up to where I’m seated, his hand outstretched for me.
“Come dance with me.”
The liquor in my system makes me giggle.
“I thought you didn’t like dancing?”
“I’ll make an exception for my favorite girl.”
Don’t let Heather hear you say that.
I place my hand in his, and let him lead me to the dance floor, where he spins me, before bringing me in close to him, resting a hand on my hip, and grasping my left hand with his other.
My hand not in his rests comfortably on his upper arm, and we sway, back and forth to the soft music.
My heart is pounding in my chest, and I’m positive he can feel every heartbeat through the layers of our clothing.
The lights are soft, and the music is gentle. If I close my eyes, and don’t think about it, I can imagine that this is our first dance, at our wedding that will never happen.
“Thank you, for coming y/n.”
My eyes open, and I can’t hide from him anymore. His eyes don’t falter from my own, and his smile is small.
“Of course I’d come. Why wouldn’t you think I would?”
“I don’t know. You’ve seemed off these past couple months. I didn’t know if you’d be up for it.”
Shit shit shit.
I laugh off my panic. “Spence, I could be bleeding out on my apartment floor, and I would still make it here. You mean everything to me. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
He grimaces at the thought of me dying, but the words that follow erase the worry on his face. “You’d tell me if something was wrong right? Everything’s okay?”
I smile at him, placing my head against his shoulder so I don’t have to look him in the eye when I lie. “Everything is fine. I’m okay. I promise.”
You’ve gotten way too good at lying to him. What’s gonna happen when he finds out? About your secret? About how it's getting harder and harder for you to get out of bed in the morning because it’s just not worth it anymore? Or about your depleting alcohol cabinet, since every night you seem to think drowning out your sorrows will make it easier to sleep?
He rests his chin on my head and we just sway back and forth to the music.
His fingers start gently playing with my own, and I hear him softly singing to himself as we dance.
“Oh, your hands can heal, your hands can bruise.” His hand moves from my hip to my lower back, holding me there against him as he continues to sing.
“I don’t have a choice, but I still choose you.”
I move my face farther into his shoulder, like I could disappear if I wanted to. This feels too intimate, feels too wrong. I should step away and congratulate him, tell him to go find his wife for god's sake, and leave with my dignity still intact.
But I don’t want to. I’ve dreamed of him holding me like this, and the words he’s whispering I know are for only me to hear.
“Oh I don’t love you, but I always will. I don’t love you, but I always will.”
Whoever the dj is, deserves a raise, because while this song is totally not for a wedding, it’s perfect for this moment.
“I always will. I always will.”
The song ends, and we stand, still together, for a second longer than we probably should.
“I’m sorry to break you two up, but I was wondering if I could convince my son to dance with his mother.”
Diana’s voice is soft, and I smile against his shoulder before moving back, removing myself from him.
His eyes are wet.
“Of course, Diana. He’s all yours.”
She turns to me before I walk away, pushing stray hairs out of my face, fixing my necklaces and smoothing out my dress. “Heather looked like she was about to burst into flames. I thought I’d save you from a public sacrifice.”
Fuck.
“Thank you, Diana.”
She kisses my forehead before turning back to Spencer, and I use the time to walk back over to my table, grab my purse and make my way out of the room.
I find a balcony of sorts, and the cool December air cools my skin.
I once again dig through my purse to find my cigarettes, pulling out the pack once I do. When I open it, however, I find it empty.
I smoked my last one and didn’t even realize it.
“Damnit!” I crush it in my hands, before placing it back in my purse.
The sun is setting, and I can see my breath.
I walk forward to the stone railing, looking out over the small park below the building. The stone is rough beneath my palms, and dark spots appear as I cry for the second time today.
I don’t have a choice, but I still choose you.
He couldn’t have meant it the way I’m thinking he meant it. He was just singing along to a song he’s probably heard thousands of times the past couple months.
But it’s too perfect not to.
Is it possible? Did he love me? If he did, does he still love me?
“Aren’t you cold, sweetheart?” Derek’s voice startles me, and I jump a little.
“Uh, no. It feels nice. It was getting a little stuffy in there so I thought I would come get some air.”
He hums, and walks up to stand beside me, his hands in his pockets.
“You know, when you dropped your purse earlier, an envelope fell out.”
My eyes widen.
“It didn’t have anything written on it, so I just assumed it was for Spencer and Heather and put it with the others. You seemed like you had other things on your mind so I thought I’d help.”
No no no no no no no no this isn’t happening. This isn’t real, he didn’t just give my love confession to the now married man it’s about and his wife. Oh my god, I’m gonna die.
“Y-You what?! No no no, that wasn’t meant for them. No no no. Holy shit.” I start pacing back and forth, combing my hands through what little of my hair was down.
“I need to go get it. He’ll understand. It’s just a big mix up. He can’t have that envelope.”
I turn ready to run back into that room and make a scene when Derek speaks from behind me.
“You mean this envelope?” I turn and there he stands, holding it in his hand.
My stomach rises from my feet. “Jesus fucking christ, Morgan. That’s not fucking funny.” I walk forward to grab it, but he’s taller than I am, and raises it out of my reach. “I never said it was.”
“Give it back, Derek.” Even in heels I can’t quite reach his hand.
“I will, once you tell me what's in it that gets you so worked up at the thought of Spencer having it.”
I don’t meet his eye as I reach for it again. “It’s nothing. It’s none of your business.”
“Baby girl, I see the way you look at him.” He grabs my wrist with his free hand, lowers himself so he can look at me straight on. “And that dance that you two just had? That’s not nothing and you know it.”
My lip trembles and I remove my arm from his grasp, walking back to the railing.
If you jump, this could all end. You wouldn’t have to explain anything. It's a perfect cop out.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, my voice shuddery when I talk. “You have to promise not to tell anyone. Not even Penelope. And especially not Spencer.”
He stands close by my side, his eyes on my face as I stare out over the park. “I promise.”
Is this what having a heart attack feels like?
I take a short breath in, it's all I can muster, and speak.
“It’s a confession. I’m horrible with words, so I wrote it down to give it to him.”
“What were you confessing?”
Tears resume to fall down my face, and I pinch at my cuticles. “That I’m in love with him.”
I feel Derek shift to look down at the railing, the envelope placed in between us.
“I confessed that I’m in love with him. That I have been since the moment I met him. I know how horrible it is, I know but I couldn’t keep it in any longer. Even if he never finds out, I needed to put it out there that I love him.”
“You’re in love with me?”
I choke on my breath, and my nails dig into the stone.
No. Please no. Please tell me this is all just a nightmare, and I’ll wake up this morning and it’ll have never happened.
My body is frozen, but I manage to turn to see him standing in the doorway, a look of pure shock written across his face.
He looks like I just slapped him.
“Spencer, oh my god.” It’s nothing more than a whisper, but it feels like a scream ripping from my chest.
“Y-You’re in love with me? When-, I-,” he runs his hands through his hair, and takes a step forward.
I'm sobbing, and I can’t stop. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was never supposed to happen. “Spencer, I-I’m sorry. I didn’t plan on you finding out like this.”
“When were you going to tell me?” His voice cracks, and I realize then that he’s not angry. He’s hurt.
I have to be honest with him now. I can’t lie to him. It’s over. The ruse is over.
I’m finished.
My fists clench and unclench as I try my best to keep my emotions under control.
“I was going to tell you the day you introduced me to Heather.”
His eyes flicker to the envelope resting on the railing, and they gloss over for a second as he remembers that day.
“You told me-”
“I lied. I lied and said it was for my mom, but it wasn’t.” I cross my arms in front of me, a chill settling itself on my skin.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I wish his voice would get louder. I wish he would scream at me. I deserve to be screamed at.
“You were dating someone, Spencer. You had been dating someone, and you had just introduced me to her. What would you have wanted me to do?”
“Not lie to me!” There we go. Get angry. Hate me.
“Why? What would you have done!? What would have happened if I didn’t care about your relationship with her and just given it to you?”
It’s getting darker, and the light pouring outside from the building is the only one to see by, so I can’t really make out his face.
“I don’t know! I have no idea of knowing, but I do know that I wish you wouldn’t have lied to me. You’ve been hiding from me, Y/N. Please stop hiding from me. I can help you.”
I roll my eyes, my vision going blurry from the tears. “No you can’t Spencer. You’re married. Did you forget that?”
He’s quiet, and I can see Derek shift his gaze from between us, not really knowing what to do.
His voice is substantially softer when he speaks next.
“Give me the letter.”
I choke back the noisy sobs. “No.”
He repeats himself, holding out his hand.
“Please, give me the letter.”
“Why?” I’m exhausted. Can’t this conversation just end?
“Because I need to know that you loved me like I loved you.”
Loved?
He just told you to your face, that while he may have loved you once upon a time, he doesn’t anymore. He doesn’t love you anymore. He doesn’t love you.
I can’t fight this anymore.
“Please don’t hide from me anymore.” He pleads, and I can feel myself beginning to go numb. Whether it’s from the cold, or my mind starting to shut down, I have no idea.
I grab the envelope from where it sits, walking forward and handing it to him.
He brings it to his jacket, tucking it safe inside one of the pockets.
“I’ll call you. Okay? And we can talk this out.”
There’s no talking this out, Spencer. What’s done is done.
He looks between me and Derek, and without another word, he walks back into the building, shoulders tense, and head down.
This is it. This is the end of the line. Nothing will be the same.
“Y/n….”
I don’t respond. I just turn, grabbing my purse and walking down the stairway the leads to the park from the balcony.
My tears leave hot streaks against my cold skin.
A snowflake lands on my nose.
~~~
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I’m Always Curious Part Twenty Eight
Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist Notes: I hope everyone’s having a good week 💕
Sooo….. How are we doing…………….
Warnings: ....Less angst than last week? I think? I mean by my gauge anyway y’all might disagree
Also cursing and mentions of canon-typical violence Summary: “I don’t want to sound insensitive or glib, Kat, but this better be fucking good.”
Can we talk? I had taken my time in answering Una’s message.
Maybe it was a little petty of me, but it was the first time she’d reached out to me in months, and I was tired. Despite the fact that the armistice between the Federation and the Klingons was in effect ahead of the Peace Accord in Paris, my work had yet to be completed. I’d been selected and summoned back to the Academy by Starfleet High Command to work closely with a number of other Comms specialists and the Klingons to draw up a treaty that would be beneficial to both sides, and would help to ensure that the armistice held. Are you going to hang up again? Was my answer, finally. Her response stunned me - but then, Una typically found a way to catch me off-guard. It would be difficult for me to hang up on you in person.
-- I had this inexplicable urge to hug her, if only to ensure that we were both there, both real and solid, but I knew that Una was not a hugger. Instead I nodded to her as she slid into the booth seat across from mine. I’d taken up brief residence in one of the vacated mess hall spaces in the Academy while I’d waited for her. “How much time have you got?” She asked. “About an hour. It’s technically lunch break.” “We can get something to eat.” “I’m not hungry.” “...How are you?” She asked after a moment. “I’m not sure you deserve that answer.” I didn’t mean to snap, but— seeing Una in person, seemingly unchanged after what I had gone through - after Somonia, after the war, and after she had been so harsh to me, I was not in a mood to be warm and cuddly. Una nodded a little, unflinching. “I do deserve that,” She conceded, “I was...Processing. I should not have said that to you, it was a blatant disregard for your feelings. I’m sorry.” “...Well,” I bristled a little, “Thank you for that.” I glanced out of the window for a moment, gathering myself before asking, “So, why are you on Earth?” “There was a hitch in installing the new Holographic Communications System, it had to be brought in to space dock.” “Crew’s in one piece?” “Yes.” “Are you the only one down here?” “...Yes.” I lowered my gaze to my hands again. “Why did you want to meet with me?” I asked. Una stood and walked around to my side of the booth, sliding in to sit beside me. I didn’t turn to look at her, and she didn’t push for me to. “When...Spock told me that you were alive,” She said softly, “When he brought the timeline to me, the evidence… There was some little part of me that almost hoped he’d made it all up-- Not because I wanted you to be gone,” She hurried to explain, “But because I… Could not fathom the fact that we had left you behind. And seeing your medical file, reading the briefing that you gave Command-- the hell that you went through. If we’d turned back when Cornwell contacted us--” “You couldn’t have known--” “That shouldn’t have stopped us,” Una insisted, “We should’ve gone back, should’ve...Made sure.” I glanced over at Una to find her staring ahead of us, shoulders and jaw tight. “It was hard, watching the crew learn that you were gone. You were missed, you were needed, but seeing the news spread that you were alive, that you’d been drafted into service for the war so soon after you were found— And that we were constantly being told to stay out of the war on top of it … I was angry. I focused that anger in the wrong place when we spoke,” She admitted, turning to meet my eye, “I have regretted that every single day.” I felt tears prickling at my eyes and I lowered my eyes to the gold fabric of her uniform, clenching my jaw. “I’m not apologizing for not telling you,” I shook my head, "I’m sure Cornwell was monitoring my communications, and I don’t know what the repercussions would’ve been-- for either party.” “Considering the Admiral’s tendency to run a tight ship, as it were, I understand. I think you did the right thing...Commander,” Una tipped her head forward as she addressed me by my new rank. I rolled my eyes a little, a small smile creeping onto my face. It had been a battlefield promotion for the sake of my ability to command a small vessel during the Battle of Xisad, one of the last battles fought during the war. Cornwell had promoted me herself. “You know I had to take the Bridge Officer’s test when I got back?” I told Una, slouching down in my seat a little bit, “Just to make it official. They told me that if I didn’t, my rank would revert. I almost let it go.” “Why didn’t you?” “Durling.” “Eli Durling?” I nodded, humming, “Bastard goaded me, said I wouldn’t pass first try, so it wasn’t worth bothering.”
Una smiled. “Stubborn as stone,” She shook her head. “Don’t start,” I began to laugh, and it soon overtook the two of us. As it settled, I gathered my courage to ask the question that had been sitting on the tip of my tongue since Una had told me she was the only one on Earth. “Where is he?” “He’s on Starbase five at the moment. Visiting someone.” “Is he alright?” “Yes.” “And he...He knows?” Una frowned, nodding a little. “Of course he knows,” She confirmed, “You haven’t spoken to him?” “No. He hasn’t reached out and I...I didn’t, I wasn’t sure,” I admitted. I suddenly felt jittery-- sharp, and sensitive. It was like I’d taken a gulp of the worst kind of Koutovian tea. “So--” I cleared my throat, “When do you leave?” “In a few hours, most likely. Starfleet’s set us another mission. Do you know where you’ll be stationed next?” “No. I don’t know how long we’ll be working on the treaty and Command doesn’t want to set me to another post prematurely.” “I understand.” I could see the disappointment in Una’s eyes, but rather than say anything, she just tipped her chin up a little bit. “Do you think you’ll leave Communications for Helm now?” She prodded, and I snorted. We both knew the answer to that.
-- Tilly and I nearly knocked one another over with the force of our embrace. I squeezed her as tight as I could, grinning from ear to ear, wholly uncaring that the transporter room crew and the Cornwell were nearby. “I have to check on where you’re staying, but um-- I’ll come and find you and show you and-- excuse me, Admiral,” Tilly ducked around Cornwell before hurting out of the transporter bay.
The Admiral arched a brow at the sight of me before gesturing for me to follow her. I fell into step beside her, glancing around. The Discovery hadn’t changed since my last stint on it, of course, but it was surreal to be back on the ship that I thought had been destroyed. But as nice as it was to be on a starship with no threat of war, I was not in the best mood. Treaty completed, peace talks aside, Peace Accord signed, I had been afforded leave. Shortly after that leave had been granted, I'd received a message from Admiral Cornwell.
“I don’t want to sound insensitive or glib, Kat, but this better be fucking good.” “You’re not in uniform.” “No. I’m not, because technically, officially, I am not here,” I reminded Cornwell as I cast her a sidelong glance, “Were those not your exact words?” “They were.” “Well, then if I am still technically, officially on leave,” I gestured to my civvies, “Then why would I be in uniform?” “You’re in a fine mood.” “Do I need to remind you what happened the last time you pulled me off of leave for an assignment?” I retorted. “The Discovery has been tasked with chasing down signals that have appeared in varying points throughout the galaxy.” I frowned. “I thought that the Enterprise had been tasked with that directive.” “It had, but it experienced catastrophic system-wide failures. The Discovery took over the mission.” “And I’m here because…?” “There is a colony on the way to the next point that’s in need of monitoring. Starfleet is not interfering, but we’re keeping an eye on them. We need you--” “A Tag and Run?” I asked, stunned, “You’ve really pulled me off of leave for a Tag and Run? Why not pull Durling?” “I have. He’ll be here in a few hours to oversee the op. I’ve business to attend to elsewhere.” “Of course you do.” “Commander, I may’ve tolerated a certain amount of this disposition in the midst of the war, but please trust that I have no such patience for it right now.” I fought the urge to snap back and roll my eyes. “I thought that Tag and Runs were only sanctioned outside of the war in the most extreme cases.” “Trust when I tell you that this is extreme, and sanctioned by Starfleet.” Cornwell stopped at the turbolift, turning to face me. “There’s something else that I ought to make you aware of.” “Oh, there’s more?” “I need you to keep your head.” I looked over her face, at the slight grimace on her lips, and that sharp, jittery feeling bubbled back up in my stomach. “...Kat, what--” “Admiral, a question.” I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t help but turn at the sound of his voice-- my body was moving before I even fully registered it, half turned from Cornwell, half turned toward Pike. It almost didn’t register, at first, that it really was him. I hadn’t seen him anywhere but my mind’s eye, my dreams, for the longest time. He looked… Well. Almost just as I remembered. There were maybe a few more streaks of grey around his temples, but I didn’t get a good enough look. My brain finally caught up with my body, took in his bewildered expression - the narrowed eyes, his parted lips, the scrunch of his brow - and I turned my head away, eyes set on the turbolift panel. “...You couldn’t have mentioned this before I beamed aboard?” I asked Cornwell quietly. “I wasn’t sure if another ship would be in range. False hope would’ve been cruel,” Cornwell's voice was no louder than mine, her eyes set on the Captain. I turned my head a little as the turbolift doors opened and Tilly stepped out. “Oh! Wow, just who I was looking for--” She glanced between the three of us, taking in the tense silence, “I...Am sorry to interrupt, but, um, your lodgings are ready, Commander.” “Thank you,” I mumbled. “Commander?” Pike’s repetition was hushed, almost awed. I turned my head toward him a little, unable to meet his eye. He’d missed so much-- and what the hell had I missed? “If you’ll excuse me,” I answered tightly, stepping onto the turbolift with Tilly. “See if you can find a uniform,” Cornwell watched me, “And try to give Durling less lip.” “No guarantees,” I retorted before the doors slid shut. --
“That seemed… Tense. Like cage-fight-with-a-Mugato-tense,” Tilly commented over the hum of the turbolift. She was right - it felt it, too. I couldn’t get that look Pike had given me out of my mind. It was buzzing through me; it was a stone in my stomach; it was behind my eyelids when I blinked. “Speaking from experience?” I tried to tease as we stepped off. “Ah-ha,” Tilly shook her head, “No.” I gave her a small shrug, following her down the hall, “Pike used to be Captain of the Enterprise.” “Right.” “And I haven’t seen him since…” “Since he thought you were dead,” It dawned on Tilly, “Oh… Oh that’s worse than a Mugato.” “It’s like two Mugatos.” “Well, here we go,” She stepped aside to let me in, “You’re gonna have a roomie, but it won’t be me.” “Who’s it going to be?” I asked as I stepped inside. “Well, it’ll be me, and if you don’t like that, you can sleep in the frickin’ cargo hold.” I froze again at the sound of that dry, almost raspy voice. “Jett?” I asked, stunned. “Is that a yes or a no to the cargo hold?” She added, standing from her bed, “I mean you don’t actually have a choice, but it only seems polite to ask.” I flexed my hands before I asked, “Can I-- Are you-- Can I hug you?” “Once,” Jett conceded, “But make it a quick one.” I didn’t approach her too fast, didn’t hug her too tightly, just patted her shoulder twice and took a step back. “What, um…” I asked lightly, throat growing tight, “What happened?” “It’s a long story-- And you haven’t even heard it yet,” Jett frowned, watching me step back to what would be my temporary bed and lower myself down onto it, putting my head in my hands. “Hey,” Tilly sat down beside me, resting a hand on my shoulder and rubbing it, “What is it?” I couldn’t answer. I just shook my head a little as I took deep breaths, trying to slow my pounding heart, trying to steady my breathing. “Are you mouthing ‘pie’? I should get her a snack?” I heard Jett ask Tilly-- which made me laugh through the few tears that were leaking from my eyes. “Pike,” I mumbled, “She’s mouthing Pike.” I could understand why the two were trying to be careful with me. I surely seemed panicked by what should’ve been amazing news. And it was amazing. I was overjoyed, relieved that Jett was alright, but-- between the mission, Tilly, Pike, and Jett, I was overwhelmed. And Pike had looked right at me -- Right at me. He’d seemed so startled, like I was a figure that had stepped out of a dream-- or a nightmare: unknowable, unplaceable, but strangely familiar and to be dissected. Maybe that was one small consolation. While Cornwell hadn’t warned me, she'd been remiss in warning him, too.
I tipped my chin up from my hands, looking between Jett and Tilly and giving them a weak, watery smile. “I won’t lie, though, pie sounds amazing right now.” "Sure! We can do that,” Tilly said quickly, more than happy to put a baked band-aid over this hurt, “Jett, you coming?” Reno shrugged, “I could eat.”
Tag list: @angels-pie ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta ; @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo ; @how-am-i-serpose-to-know ; @onlyhereforthefandomandgiggles ; @inmyowncorner ; @tardis-23 ; @2manyfandoms-solittletime ; @paintballkid711 ; @katrynec ; @hypnobananaangelfish ; @elen-aranel ; @blueeyesatnight
#I'm Always Curious#captain pike x reader#Captain Pike x You#Captain Pike/Reader#Captain Pike/You#Captain Pike fic#Captain Pike Imagine#christopher pike x reader#christopher pike/reader#Christopher Pike/You#Christopher Pike x You#Christopher Pike fic#Christopher Pike Imagine
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truth or drink
summary - truth or dare never works out, but when you add drinking things just get worse
paring - han x reader ft. twice, the rest of stray kids, bts, and blackpink
genre - fluff, angst, comfort | friends to potential-lovers!au, nonidol!au
word count - 4.6k words
warnings - slight harassment and bullying by O.C. against reader, drinking, very minimal slut shaming of O.C., swearing
masterlist
“I don’t even wanna go tonight,” Dahyun said, laying on your bed. “Who’s even going to be there?”
“The usual crowd I think, us girls, Han and his friends, Tae and his friends, and I think Jennie and Lisa are coming too,” you conclude, putting the finishing touches on your makeup.
“Ooh, I haven’t seen Jennie in ages,” Dahyun commented, suddenly sitting up. “I suppose I can make an appearance.”
“That’s more like it,” you laughed, turning around. “How do I look?”
“Absolutely stunning!” she cooed, “Han isn’t gonna know what he’s missing.”
You scoffed, “I’m not doing this for him, I’m doing this for myself.”
“Sure, sure, and you’re absolutely not wearing that blue sweater because he told you it looked nice on you last week?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Absolutely not,” you declared, though a slight red hue appeared on your face. “Come one we gotta go soon anyway. Party starts in 20 minutes.”
“No one ever shows up right away, Mina and Jihyo said they aren’t coming till closer to eight.” Dahyun whined, going into the closer to change.
“Yeah, but I promised Bang Chan and Felix I’d help set up, so unless you wanna find your own way there, you’re stuck with me,” you laughed, grabbing your jacket off your desk. Dahyun groaned, but reappeared minutes later, ready to go.
“Alrighty, let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”
______
“y/n, Dahyun, so glad you could be here to help!” Felix said as he opened the door, quick to grab a couple of bags from you and Dahyun. “Please, please come on in!”
“Thanks, Lix,” you said, closing the door behind. “Any word on when people are planning to show up?”
“It varies really, Tae and his friends said sometime around eight-ish, Changbin and Minho said they’d be here around 7:30, I’m assuming the girls will be here around then as well?”
“Yeah, Sana just texted me now, said they’ll be here in about 20,” Dahyun said, as she started taking bottles out of her backpack and adding them to the drink table.
“Oh that’s awesome, I’m so excited to see them!” you cheered, going over to help her.
“Excited as you are to see Han?” she teased, nudging your shoulder as she poured a bottle of vodka into a giant container you had bought specifically for wop. Across the room, Felix chuckled as he untangled some cords for the sound system.
“Oh my god, please shut up,” you plead, your face a slight hue of red as you unscrewed your own bottle. “It’s really not that big of a deal.”
“Sure, sure. Felix did you know that she literally hasn’t stopped talking about this party all week, seems a little coincidental that this also happens to be the first party Han has been able to come to since he left to go visit his parents,”
“I’m actually going to kill you,” you muttered, unable to keep a straight face as the two of them laughed. Dahyun may have had a point, Han had left two weeks ago to visit his parents, which meant you hadn’t seem him for a couple weeks due to conflicting schedules. You missed him, missed his jokes, his vibrant personality. You guys had met about six months ago when Dahyun invited you to a party at her place, and ever since then you guys had hit it off.
“Oh leave the poor girl alone won’t you?” Chan said as he entered the room, laptop in hand. “So she has a thing for the kid, it’s not like you two haven’t ever had a crush.”
“Yeah,” you chimed in, gracious for Chan’s appearance. “If I remember correctly Lix you had quite the infatuation for a certain barista down at Two Rivers, right?” You grinned at his red face, and inability to rebuttal, “and Dahyun,” you said, facing her. “Don’t make me bring up the infamous crush you had last fall-”
“Okay!” Dahyun said suddenly, smacking a hand over your mouth. “Point taken! Sorry y/n, you know I think it’s cute that you like him, I think y’all would be cute together! I’ll shut up now.”
You laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, “Apology accepted, sorry for bringing up your past, I promise not to do it again, unless circumstances call for it.” you grinned, running away from her as she chased you with an empty bottle.
______
Music blared from the speakers in the backyard as you sat with Felix and Sana, currently exchanging your thoughts on the latest season of stranger things. “There’s no way Hopper’s actually dead,” you argued, taking a drink. “Why else would they include that clip of him in the promo?”
“I agree!” Sana said, “Plus that’d be so cruel for them to kill him off like that just as he and El were developing a real relationship!”
“Right, and I’d rather die than not see Hopper and Joyce get together, literally made for each other!” Felix agreed, the three of you laughed at his sudden outburst, but sudden stopped as Sana whispered.
“Who invited them here?” you turned towards the entrance of the house, and spotted exactly who she was talking about. Currently talking to Chan and Jennie were two girls who you had briefly met your freshmen year, they were awful; mean and cruel just for their own enjoyment. Unfortunately, at a school so small, circles overlapped, and somehow they ended up at this party.
“God, I hate them,” you muttered, taking another sip of your drink. You turned back around. “Think they’ll stay long?”
“Well Aria has a huge crush on Chan I think,” Felix said thoughtfully, “So yeah unfortunately.”
“Fantastic,” you muttered again, annoyed that you even had to be in the same room as them. It wasn’t that Aria and her friend Soon were ever mean to you directly. In fact, you even used to be friends with Soon a couple years ago, but times change, and so do people. While you had learned more about yourself and learned from your wrongdoings, Soon found Aria and together they adhered to this “preppy-high-school-mean-girl” bullshit attitude that never really wore off.
“Oh don’t be sad, y/n! Look who just showed up,” Dahyun said suddenly as she appeared behind you, wiggling her eyebrows. You rolled your eyes at her as she sat down beside you, but turned around anyway, already knowing who had shown up.
Han Jisung walked through the doors and you hated to admit it, but your heart leaped out of your chest. It had been so long since you had seen him, and not to be cliché, but he was literally glowing. He looked amazing, his hair was still that same raven color you loved. You remembered when he had first dyed it two months ago, he was nervous to go back to a dark color after being blonde for so long, but you had assured him he looked good in any hair color.
“y/n, earth or y/n, hello?” Felix said, waving his hand in front of your face, you jumped, not realizing you had zoned out. Sana and Dahyun laughed as you blushed. “Sorry what?”
“I asked if you wanted to go grab a new drink?” Dahyun laughed, and you look down at your drink.
‘Yeah sure,” you agreed, laughing at yourself as you folllowed her back inside. You crossed the yard, mentally preparing youself to walk by Han, it was dumb, really. He was your friend, there was nothing to be personal about, but you’d be lying if you said he didn’t make you nervous. It wasn’t till a weeks ago that you had even developed these feelings for him, and if it wasn’t for a drunken night at Chan’s, no one would have even known you had felt that way, but when you’re drunk, your filter leaves you, and that night you spilled the beans to Dahyun, Sana, Felix, and Chan over a game of truth or dare. You tried to keep it lowkey, you did, but as you got to know him better, it was becoming harder and harder to avoid it.
Dahyun passed Han and Changbin as they talked on the porch, as you did the same someone grabbed your wrist, “y/n!” Han said, grinning from ear to ear. “Don’t think you could pass me and not say anything!”
You laughed, and looked at Dahyun who wiggled her eyebrows. “Changbin,” she said, looking past you. “Wanna help me grab some drinks?”
“Sure,” he agreed, brushing past you. “Nice to see you, y/n.”
“You too,” you said, taking his seat next to Han. “So, how was home?”
“It was great,” he said. ‘It was nice to see family and celebrate my grandma’s birthday, but I’m glad to be back.”
“I’m glad you’re back too,” you agreed. “Someone needs to be the life of the party.”
“Oh, you don’t think that Jin already has that handled?” he asked, and you both looked into the house, where he was currently, furiously rapping some song on the karaoke machine.
You laughed, “I’ll admit that he’s pretty chaotic when he wants to be, but there’s only one person I know who enjoys starting conga lines at the most random of times. Remember when you started one when we walked to the grocery store? People were so confused!” you said, and he laughed.
“Well I’m glad someone appreciates my antics,” he grinned, taking a sip of his own drink. “What have you been up to since I last saw you?”
“Nothing too exciting, just the usual.”
“Bullshit, I follow your photography page, that place you went last week looked incredible, you’ll have to take me sometime,” he said, nudging your shoulder.
You blushed, “Ahh thanks, it was so pretty, a super nice hike too, you’d love it. The sunset there was incredible!”
“Well we’ll have to make sure we go at night then,” he mused, and you grinned.
“Oh absolutely, when are you free next week?” you asked, hoping to set something up, hanging out with Han one-on-one was a rare and fun occasion.
“Let me check,” he said, pulling out his phone. About to pull yours out, you suddenly hear the music cut out. A chorus of boos and cheers resounded throughout the party.
“Sorry everyone!” Chan said, mic in hand. “Aria and Soon here wanted me to let everyone know, that if you’re interested, there’s a game of truth or dare happening over here.”
You rolled your eyes, poor Chan, you looked over at Han. “Should we go save Chan from an evening of Aria’s torment and neverending questions?”
“Good idea,” he agreed, standing. “Ayo Seungmin, I.N., you guys wanna go play a couple rounds of truth or dare.”
“Why not?” Seungmin said, standing up, with I.N. following suite. Changbin and Dahyun appeared next to you, with a handful of drinks.
“So true or dare, huh?” Dahyun said. “Classic Aria.”
“It truly is her signature,” you agreed, grabbing two drinks from her and handing one to Han. “Let’s get this over with, yeah?”
You made your way over to the firepit where Aria and Chan sat, surround by some others. Jennie and Lisa sat to the left of Chan, while Seungmin and I.N. sat next to them. Soon was next to Aria, and Mina, Jihyo and Sana were next to her. You took a seat in between Dahyun and Han, and Changbin in between you three and Felix. The group waited as a few more people piled in, Jimin and Jungkook taking sets behind Changbin on the brick wall, and Hoseok and Tae taking up seats on the wall as well behind Chan.
‘“Let’s get started, shall we?” Aria said, scanning the group. “Felix, truth or dare?”
______
Numerous rounds had passed since you first sat down, and the rules were simple. If you didn’t want to answer a truth or do a dare, you had to take a shot, but the catch was you only got three shots per game. So far people had jumped into the pool while fully clothed, made out with random party goers, and made prank calls to people who weren’t at the party. So far, you had told everyone which professor you would sleep with if given the chance, called your good friend Solar to tell her her cat had ran away, and told everyone about your most embarrassing moment from 5th grade.
Currently, Tae was attempted to walk along the entire edge of the pool without falling in. “You got this, Tae!” Jimin cheered, getting everyone to start a chant of encouragement. You did your best ro hold in your laughter as Tae slipped at the last second and fell into the pool. A chorus of laughs resounded, and the game continued on.
By now, some people had left to get drinks or eat food, so the only people left were you, Han, Dahyun, Chan, Aria, Soon, Felix, Sana, Seungmin, and I.N.
“Aria, truth or dare?” Soon asked, taking a sip of her drink.
“Dare, obviously.” Aria said, a tone of cockiness in her voice. “Truth’s are loser who enjoy being an open book,” she commented, glancing in your direction. You rolled your eyes, taking another sip of your drink.
“Takes one to know one,” you muttered under your breath, across the fire, Chan chuckled, amused at your lack of filter coming out.
“What was that?” Aria said, obviously irritated that Chan had laughed at your retort.
“Oh, nothing.” you said, looking up at her as she glared daggers into your eyes. “Soon what’s her dare?”
“Aria, I dare you to make out with Chan!” she said excitedly, and the rest of the group, minus Aria, groaned.
“Shocker,” Dahyun said, and you looked over at Chan who looked less than thrilled to be in this position.
“Hey don’t make him do something he doesn’t want to do,” you chimed in, worried about Aria’s influence over your friend.
“It’s okay, y/n.” Chan said, taking a quick shot. “I can handle her.”
You sighed, and took a long sip of your drink as the two of them made out for the next 15 seconds or so, as they pulled apart Aria looked at you. “Yeah, y/n, Channie’s a big boy, he can handle himself. Plus he’d probably prefer a girl with experience anyway, unlike you.”
You rolled your eyes for what seemed to be the millionth time that night, “Sorry Chan, just looking out for you, didn’t want you to get an STD or something.”
Alcohol had this affect on you that sometimes you didn’t realize what you were saying until you had said it, as the words left your mouth, you instantly regretted them due to the way Aria started you down, a look of hatred in her eyes. Around you, everyone lost their minds at your reply, some congratulating you on your comeback, others looking shocked the words even came out of your mouth. You weren’t sure how to feel, on one hand Aria deserved a taste of her own medicine for how she belittled every person she ever met that didn’t meet her standards, but also you were never one to slut-shame, so who knows what came over you. Beside you, Dahyun was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes, and Han looked so shocked you weren’t sure whether it was a good thing or bad thing.
Aria narrowed her eyes at you, unsure of what had come over you, but sure of what her next move was going to be, ”y/n, truth or dare?”
“Uh-” you started.
“Don’t bother answering, I’ll pick for you since I already know the answer: truth. y/n, tell me, what’s it like to be a lonely virgin, with no romantics pursuits besides having a crush on a close friend who doesn’t even think of you that way?”
The group quieted down pretty quick after that, you stiffened, shocked she had said that, confused how she even knew that, but mostly concerned of where this was going to go. You were sure that if someone took a photo of you now, you would look like a ghost. Aria cocked an eyebrow at you, “Oh y/n,” she feigned concerned. “Cat got your tongue? Need some help with that? Must be tough to like someone who doesn’t even think of you that way, right? Who goes away for weeks and doesn’t even text you? Let alone think of you in any other way besides a friend. You can call me a slut all you want, but at least I get the things I want, I don’t sit around and wait for them to happen like some stupid hopeless romantic. At least boys answer my texts, what do you get? A pity reply to one of your numerous attempts at a real relationship with him?”
“Aria, shut the fuck up.” Dahyun said beside you, you were frozen in spot, so utterly humiliated, but also amazed at her level of intel, how the hell did she find out?
“Why?” Aria asked. “It’s okay for y/n to blatantly slut-shame me in front of my crush, that I can’t expose her in front of hers?”
“That’s not the point-’” Dahyun said, anger seething from her body. You put a hand on your shoulder.
“It’s fine,” you said, trying you best to remain calm. “I mean she right, right? What I did was a low-bow, and I’m truly sorry, Aria.” you said, trying to look as sincere as possible despite your mental stability rapidly declining. “It’s only fair you attack right back, but if you don’t mind, I think we’re pretty even now; I think I’ve heard enough.” You finished, your voicing cracking slightly at the end. You quickly got up, and made your way inside the house, ignoring the calls from the rest of the group.
As you entered the house, you got some looks from everyone you passed. Some concerned, some confused, and some just straight up lost as to why you were running through the house crying.
It was your own fault this had happened, you knew Aria was the type to have dirt on everyone, so why didn’t you think about the fact that’d she have dirt on you? You shouldn’t have even responded to her, no matter how much she got under your skin, Aria always won every battle she started, but you never expected her to rebuttal with things so cruel and close to your heart. You just hoped people were too distracted to piece together the underlying meaning.
Your phone buzzed rapidly in your pocket, a call from Dahyun on the screen. You sighed, and picked up the call. “Hey-”
“Are you okay? I swear to god I’ll kill her for saying those things about you! That was so fucked up, you made one comment and she spilled your entire load of dirty laundry for everyone to hear. Where are you? We should go home, forget-”
“Dahyun, slow down.” you laughed, feeling a little less awful than you did before. “I’m in the bathroom, I’ll be back out in a little bit, no need to have Aria ruin this whole party for us.”
“Oh that’s good, I’m glad your okay,” she said. “Aria’s gone anyway, after her little performance, Soon and Chan convinced her to go home for the night. The bitch was too intoxicated to form a coherent thought after she used them all on you.”
You laughed at that, “Serves her right, I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Sounds good, bye!” she agreed, hanging up the phone. You looked in the mirror, wiping off your mascara that had run onto your face. You pondered how the rest of the night would go, everyone had heard the embarrassing details of your life, but on the other hand, fuck Aria and fuck her for trying to ruin a perfectly good night. Yeah she every right to be upset at you, but unlike her, you could bounce back from this, you determined. How would things go with Han? You had no idea, you suppose it depending on his ability to read between the lines, and whether or not he was too intoxicated to do that or not.
“It was what it is at this point, I guess.” you said to yourself, accepting your fate, whatever it may be. It was odd, you had always imagined that your crush finding out you like them would be mortifying, but you felt oddly calm, maybe it’s because you knew thing would be okay. You had great friends, supportive friends who would stand by you no matter what, and even if Han did know, you knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t be mean about it, maybe weirded out, but that was only temporary, cause at least then you’d have closure and could move on.
You exited the bathroom, ready to get another drink and hang with Dahyun and Felix, and everyone else if they were still around.
“y/n!” Sana yelled from the end of the hallway, running up to you. “Are you okay? God I can’t believe Aria did that, she’s awful, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m fine, really.” you assured her. “Aria’s a bitch, but it’s not like I didn’t have it coming with what I had said to her.”
“I guess, but she said some really personal things that weren’t her business at all. Everyone knows that she gets around here and there, she even admitted it! You weren’t saying things we didn’t already know,” she said, looking annoyed. “But if you’re fine, then so am I. Wanna grab another drink?”
“Yes, please.” you laughed, following her into the living room. As you were there getting drinks, you assured many people that were at the fire that you were okay, and you didn’t need them to kill Aria for you.
“y/n!” you stopped talking to Sana and Changbin, and turned around to see Chan, he looked frazzled, a look of worry on his face. “Can we talk?” he asked, you bid your goodbyes to Sana and Changbin, and followed Chan back outside.
“What’s up?” you asked.
“First I wanna say I’m so sorry for Aria’s behavior, I know it doesn’t mean much, but she was pretty drunk, but I’m not sorry that I didn’t do anything to stop it. I’m the reason she was even here, and it’s not cool that she did that to you.”
“Chan, Chan, it’s fine, really. Aria isn’t your responsibility, you’re not her dad or boyfriend, so you couldn’t have predicted she would have done that. I accept your apology, but there’s no need for it, truly.” you assured him, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
“Okay, good. The other reason I wanted to talk to you was because of that,” he said, gesturing over his shoulder to the fire. At the fire was Han, Felix and Dahyun sat with him, but he looked distant. It didn’t seem like he was paying them any attention.
“Is he okay?” you asked. You felt bad, this was your fault.
“Dahyun, Felix, and I have been trying to talk to him, get him to come inside, but he isn’t really speaking to anyone. We all figured he might talk to you; but only if you’re comfortable doing so.” Chan explained, you nodded. “Of course, he’s still my friend.”
Chan and you walked over to the fire, and as soon as Felix and Dahyun saw you were with him, they stood up, leaving with Chan. As Dahyun passed you, she whispered in your ear. “I think he’s just confused is all.” You nodded, understanding.
Han didn’t look up as you sat down, just kept staring into the fire. You weren’t sure what to do, it wasn’t as if you had done any malicious to him in any way, but you’d also understand if he didn’t want anything to do with you.
“I’m sorry,” you said, breaking the silence; he didn’t look up. You sighed, “I know you must feel really weird with everything that Aria had said, I swear I didn’t know she was going to say that stuff at all; I honestly don’t know how she found out, but I’m sorry that that indirectly put you in a weird position.”
“Why are you sorry?” he muttered. “It’s not like you asked her to do it.”
“No I didn’t, but what she said involved you, and that’s something you should have heard from me, privately, not in front of all our friends at a bonfire,” you reasoned, nervously chuckling at the hilarity of it all. Who would have thought this was how you night would end? “So, I’m sorry.”
Han put his head in hands, running his fingers through his hair. He sighed, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“I-uh, I don't know,” you stuttered, unsure of what to say. “I didn’t want to make things weird, change our friendship in any way. I like being your friend, and we hadn’t been friends for that long when I first realized, so I choose not to say anything in order to keep being your friend. If I’m honest, I thought I’d get over it by now.”
“You thought something like that would end our friendship?” he asked, looking up at you. “y/n, that’s crazy.”
“Well, I don't know!” you exclaimed, “How could I be sure how you’d react? We aren’t exactly best friends, and I hadn’t seen you in awhile, so it felt awkward to hang around after she had said that. Figured it would be easier to leave so you wouldn’t be obligated to talk about it if you didn’t want to. I’m sorry if I hurt you, or made things confusing, that wasn’t my intention, I just didn't know what to do.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “I get it, feelings are weird, and you can never be sure how things will turn out, but I still wish you would have said something, don’t you trust me?”
“Han, we may be friends, and I do trust you, but this is probably the one thing I wouldn’t have told you about.” you laughed awkwardly. “Usually people don’t tell their crushes they like them till they’re sure their crush feels the same.”
He blushed, “Ah yeah, that’s a good point, but hey! Who’s to say I don’t feel the same.”
You paused, “You like me?” What was happening right now?
“Well maybe, I don’t know!” he laughed nervously turning an even darker shade of red, and you chuckled. “I feel like we’ve become better friends lately, and I like having you around, like spending time with you. I don’t wanna rush into anything, but I would be down to start hanging out more one on one.”
You smiled, “I feel the same. I don’t want to rush things either, and I’d rather us both be on the same page about it if this does become something in the future.”
“Well I hope it at least means we’ll become better friends,” he said hopefully.
“Me too,” you agreed, feeling a weight being lifted off you shoulders.
“But I could be okay with us being in a relationship too, I suppose.” he mused, pretending to look thoughtful. You laughed, and lightly kicked his foot.
“I suppose I could be okay with that too,” you joked, and he grinned. “Well if you’re up for it, the offer to go hiking still stands.”
“Let’s do it!” he said excitedly. “We can take some sick pics at the top too!”
“Oh absolutely,” you grinned. “I’d love nothing more.” Han smiled at you, a glint of something promising in his eyes. Everything was going to be fine, you could feel it.
______
a/n: hope y’all like this one, it took a different turn than I thought it was going to, but I still like how it turned out!
#han jisung#skz#skz han jisung#kim dahyun#dahyun#sana#changbin#bang chan#seungmin#i.n stray kids#stray kids#stray kids fluff#stray kids angst#stray kids comfort#stray kids han jisung#stray kids lee minho#stray kids kim seungmin#stray kids i.n.#stray kids seo changbin#stray kids felix#twice sana#twice dahyun#bts#bts imagines#skz imagines#twice imagines#stray kids imagines#han imagines#friends to lovers#friends to lovers imagines
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dancing bachata with him
pairing(s): iwaizumi x reader, nishinoya x reader, bokuto x reader, yamaguchi x reader, tendou x reader, oikawa x reader (all separate)
requested: no; just self-indulgent writing and i wanted a reason to listen to bachata
word count: 2.6k+ words
warnings: slight manga spoiler (timeskip)!! wrote this as gn as i could, but thought of a f!reader when i wrote it, sorry if i offend anyone. dancing gets steamy and suggestive. mentions and implications of sex, not proofread at all
a/n: i added some songs that i felt vibed with the character so feel free to listen to them if you want. gets repetitive at one point. this is also my second time trying to post this so uhhhhh apologies
iwaizumi:
the birthday boy!!
so this man, i just know he knows how to dance bachata
i mean he went to uni in california, there’s a ton of hispanics and latinos there bro
i know for a fact he befriended one of them and by default, he was dragged to a party at one point
which is exactly where you are right now
you and iwa were invited to a mutual friend’s little sisters quince
so, you’re both sitting at a table as the music is roaring through the sound system
the moment iwa hears romeo santo’s voice begin to ring through the room, he’s instantly standing up, stretching his hand to you
propuesta indecente or odio vibe mega hard with this man
“let’s go”
“go where?” you asked, not really expecting iwaizumi to be into dancing
“dance, of course. unless you don’t want to?” a nervous expression was on his face now.
“you know how to dance to this type of music?”
“of course i do, i’m what you call cultured”
so you take his hand and walk onto the dance floor with him
you kinda know the basics of the dance style so you’re not too nervous when you get into your own space of the dance floor
he put his hands in front of his body, a hint for you take them as he slowly began to lead you in the dance
you both kept your distance at first and you couldn’t help but admire the sensual way his body was moving
you both moved in accordance to the songs beat before he pulled a quick on you
he intertwined your fingers on one hand and allowed his other hand to travel down your waist
feeling extra confident in himself, he pulled you into his body and slotted one of his thighs between your own
not stopping your movements whatsoever
“wasn’t that awfully smooth of you, mr. iwaizumi?”
“you already know it. gotta keep you on your toes, no?”
to which you laugh at bc being with him is already a treat in itself
definitely has you wrap both your arms around his neck so you can be closer
he has one arm hanging lowly your waist while the other sneakily settles onto your upper thigh
very smooth and touchy man
iwa makes sure to hold you so incredibly close while smoothly maneuvers you both across your little spot on the floor
he definitely spins you when he finds it necessary
would for sure end up kissing you during a song
maybe a cheesy ass dip at the end, even if doesn’t seem to fit the song
all in all, 1000000/10 dance partner
would let him maneuver me any way he wants
nishinoya:
this is gonna be so self-indulgent so apologizes beforehand
so, in my head, noya travels the world a lot
and he’s a latin/hispanic king in the eyes of many so yes he’s visited various of these countries. you go along with him too ofc
and yes, he can dance bachata and various other dance styles
unlike iwa, he’s a lot intimate about this bc he’s the ultimate simp
he’d do anything to have your body pressed tightly against his own
especially if you’re wearing something irresistible
also unlike iwa, he vibes best with prince royce bc in my head they’re both like more upbeat and wholesome? idk if that makes sense but it does in my head
def incondicional or darte un beso vibes
BUT if he’s feeling frisky that night, definitely see te robaré
mans would not ask you if you want to dance
he’d DRAG you out to dance
strong believer that it’d be a good first for your relationship bucket list
“yuu, where are we going?”
“to dance, duh.”
“you didn’t even ask me though…”
“don’t have to! i know you’ll love it.”
“love what?”
“this.” he instantly pulls you into his body, wide smirk on his face
there’s virtually no space between you two
can’t even slip a piece of paper between you two
your breath hitches at the close proximity, you can feel his breath against the shell of your ear
who knew noya could be this smooth?
your mind is definitely thinking of other activities but you come back to earth when he begins to dance to the beat
one, two, three, (four)
one, two, three, (four)
he makes sure to keep you in beat
while also making sure he can feel every ridge of your body on his own
your arms are wrapped loosely around his neck
has his around your waist
he likes sneaking playful gropes in your ass or even waist if he wants to be more innocent
mans is touchy touchy, that’s the way to describe him easily
LOVES to spin you and also loves to be spun
your full body is in motion with this man and you’re not going in just one direction, you’re moving every which way (very organized tho)
sneaks in kisses between spins
also an amazing partner and bc i am an extra simp for this libero i rate him a 10000000/10
bokuto:
also an honorary member of the hispanic/latino community
very very cultured man
he plays pro volleyball so he’s bound to travel to other countries
honestly, he’s never practiced bachata with a partner
he has seen people do it though so he has a very general idea of how to dance it
bokuto is currently on an away game on a different country and he flew you out
simp, you know?
you guys went to a club, destress a little and just let loose
definitely vibes with monchy & alexandria bc the vibes are immaculate, especially on hoje en blanco and dos locos
anything that’s fast-paced and all-around energetic is perfect for mr. bokuto
also does not ask you to dance
but instead of just dragging you, he pleads for you with his eyes
puppy dogs before glancing between you and the pile of bodies dancing
you HAVE to take the hint or else he’ll be really bummed out
bokuto: 🥺👀🥺
you: ???
bokuto, in bold: 🥺👀🥺
you sigh at this, “kou, would you like to go dance?”
”i thought you’d never ask, babe! c’mon let’s go!” he’s literally beaming
you’re dragged away right after that
similarly to noya, he loves having your body pressed to his
but bc he’s not as experienced, he keeps you at a safe distance so he doesn’t accidentally step on you or something
that changes once he gets more confident
or when he sees a couple do something he wants to try with you
also loves to spin you
loves pressing your back to his chest and dancing like that for a bit before spinning you back around so he can see your pretty face
holding onto your hips and helping guide them just the way he likes
loves pressing his thigh between your own, might make you come closer so he can feel you better
also likes groping you, with consent ofc
sometimes he gets too distracted with the way you’re moving that he loses count of the beat and ends up messing up
part of the distraction would come from him smooching you anytime he please which makes you guys stumble a few times
that’s okay though
he makes up for his mistakes in energy and enthusiasm
how would i rank this man? hmm
1000/10 very fun to be around so he’s a very fun dance partner
yamaguchi:
hate to say it but mans does not know how to dance bachata
sorry yamaguchi stans, just had to to say
man works in electronics!!!
hardly goes out as it is
but you eventually get him to leave the house every once in a while
one of those times being rn, at a co-worker’s party
you honestly can’t remember what it’s for but there’s loud music playing
also gives me prince royce vibes but like,,, early prince royce, ya dig?
i’m talking corazón sin cara and even soy el mismo bc bro y’all are soft
you’d have to take the lead with him for the first few minutes of the song
maybe seconds bc he’s a quick learner, especially if he’s observing
this man is the only one who’d actually ask you to dance before even trying to drag you out of your seat
he looks at you with these cute eyes bc man is love in with you
“do you wanna go dance? this song looks like fun.”
“ashi, do you know how to dance this type of song?”
“well, no, but i want to try with you. do you want to?”
who are you to say no?
so unlike the other three, he’s a lot sweeter and maybe even shy while you’re dancing
idk if y’all know but he’s basically a little kid trying to dance with you
you guys keep like an arms distance and probably do not get much closer
you guys do move your arms around and bring them a tad bit closer to spice things up
but otherwise, you guys won’t get too close, especially bc this is his first time dancing bro bachata
lots of soft gazes
he looks at you like you’re the only person in the world and that shit’s cute
loves complimenting you as you’re both dancing
all in all it’s just a pure moment, nothing too spicy for the first time around or second for that matter
10/10 dance partner, learns quickly but still not too confident in himself
tendou:
KING!! HE IS THE MAN IVE BEEN SIMPING OVER FOR A WHILE
cheeky mf would be so good at this
does he know how to dance it?
no
but he’s the fastest learner and also very very sensual with these sort of thing so he’s amazing
idk what he does as a profession but he’s still the same person from high school, just a tad more professional in the workplace
gives me the fattest aventura vibes (if you haven’t realized i don’t know much about bachata, murder me)
obsesión and el malo vibe or maybe even los infieles
very similar to iwaizumi and his way of dancing bachata
but less smooth and more cheeky
very very cheeky
“baby, let’s go dance”
“yeah, give me a min-“
you do not get a minute, his big hand is already instantly wrapping around your arm to pull you up
“tori, do you even know how to dance to this?”
he laughs, “no, i’m smooth but not that smooth.”
you’re left a little confused but the moment he pulls you in tightly, your worries disappear
“just follow my lead,” he whispers in a seductive voice
he places on hand on your waist and the other holding yours just at your waist level
he instantly slots his thigh between your own and leads you guys through your spot on the floor
loves when you pop your hip to the beat
as every moment passes, he pulls you closer and closer
to the point where all you can breathe is his cologne and the alcohol in his breath
might lean down to press a few teasing kisses to your neck
mans might even grind his crotch down on your thigh
he wants to leave you as flustered as possible
was this a plan for him to take you back home so he could ravage your body? maybe, but he won’t admit, that’s the fun in it
also loves to spin you but he does it outward so he can catch a full look of how you’re dressed
bites his lip when he sees you enjoying himself
ceo of dirty compliments in your ear as you’re both dancing
LOVES LOVES LOVES seeing your flustered face as you guys are so so so close
he’d for sure try and start a makeout session in the middle of the song
something about the passionate atmosphere between all the couples, really gets him going
also sneaks in gropes along with the grinding
once he realizes how much he loves dancing to this music, he wants to go out and do it more
rate for this man?
100000000000/10 broke the scale plenty of times
i want to be his dance partner, please 😔😔
oikawa:
HE LIVES IN ARGENTINA
HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT ARGENTINIAN CULTURE AND AND OTHER HISPANIC/LATIN COUNTRIES
YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE
anyway, he takes you guys to a bar as well
you’re visiting him so he has to show you the best parts of the country and this is the end of your day
the spanish music blaring through the speakers gets him in such a great mood bc he wants to have his own little spanish opera moment with you
also gives me aventura vibes but the lighter more romantic music of it
very playful with it
def un beso and dile al amor or even ella y yo if he wants to get spicy with it (even if it’s like a mix of reggaetón and bachata, maybe pop, idk i’m whitewashed 😔)
“my love, do you want to go and dance with me? i love this song.”
“since when do you dance, tooru?” you tease him
“i’ve been a cultured man since i’ve landed in this beautiful country”
“really now?”
“yeah, would you like a demonstration, y/n/n?”
YOU CANNOT SAY NO TO HIM
especially not when he’s looking down at you with this smug grin on his face
does things to you, ngl
he pulls you up and instantly wraps an arm around your waist as he leads you towards the dance floor
he knows how to dance so he instantly rests his hand on your lower back
takes the lead without telling you, you have to have faith him and his skills
sways you both PERFECTLY in beat
his other hand is at his side but he is not stuff at all
his body is loose with it, just the way it should be
asks you to wrap your arms around his neck maybe even asks you to hold onto his cheek and give him a smooch
has you giggling the entire time bc he’s such a dork but he’s your dork
SPANISH SPANISH SPANISH
he sings the lyrics to you in such a quiet voice just for you two to hear
he has an accent when he’s singing bc it’s like his third language but it’s still the cutest thing ever
also loves praising you in spanish or even giving you spanish nicknames
“te miras tan hermosa, bailando conmigo así, mi amor.”
you either know what it means or you don’t
if you do, you’ll blush and come up with an equally cute spanish compliment
“gracias, mi rey. te vas tan chulo debajo de esta luz.” (thank you, my king. you look so good/cool underneath this lighting)
or you don’t have a clue what he said but he said in such a low tone that you assume he said something nice
“i said that you look so gorgeous, dancing with me like this, my love.” he laughs at the lost expression on your face
his laugh is contagious so you end up laughing as well before leaning in to connect your lips, as the song begins to dwindle down
also enjoys twirling you about when it’s appropriate, adds in to the giggly fun part of him as a dance partner
now, i’m not a simp for oikawa but i would simp for him over him if he offered to be my dance partner
i rate him a 100000/10 for a dance partner
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#hq#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu hcs#haikyuu headcanons#iwaizumi#haikyuu iwaizumi#iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi imagine#iwaizumi hcs#iwaizumi headcanons#haikyuu nishinoya#nishinoya#nishinoya x reader#nishinoya imagine#nishinoya hcs#nishinoya headcanons#haikyuu bokuto#bokuto#bokuto x reader#bokuto imagine#bokuto hcs#bokuto headcanons#haikyuu yamaguchi#yamaguchi#yamaguchi x reader#yamaguchi imagine#yamaguchi hcs
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Clarity in the Cancellation Crusade
After posting multi-paragraph comments on a couple different things that have popped up in my feed recently, it seemed like I should probably just sit down and write this out.
“Cancel culture.” Crazy shit, right?
The recent onslaught of cancellations includes Mr. Potato Head, Pepe Le Pew, a handful of Disney movies (Peter Pan, Dumbo, The Aristocats), and *audible gasp* Dr. Seuss. The Muppets also got a newfangled Disney+ content warning, though I’ve seen significantly fewer headlines about that.
The thing that inevitably happens when the news media decides to publish a headline about a children’s toy or book being “canceled” is a veritable parade of social media complaints about how sensitive people have become. I saw this particular post over 10 times in the period of a couple hours one day last week…
The question I’ve been asking recently when I see posts like that is this: “Who do you think cancel culture is?”
Because “cancel culture” isn’t real. In the majority of the cases currently making headlines, the choice to remove a character from a movie or stop publishing a book has been made by the company responsible for that character or book… and that is very much a normal thing companies can choose to do.
No one I’ve posed the above question to has overtly mentioned “Libtards,” but it’s certainly implied. People who haven’t read a Dr. Seuss book in 20 years are now suddenly all up in arms (literally?) because “the Liberals” are coming for “And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street.”
The Liberals are not coming for Dr. Seuss. They do not care about a potato toy. Also, nothing is happening to the Cat in the Hat. I repeat: NOTHING is happening to the Cat in the Hat.
The choices to stop publishing that book and to market a vegetable toy in a less gendered way were made by the companies responsible for producing those products… not the Liberal “cancel culture” ghoul. In fact, it’s really, really hard to find public outcry about any of the things that have been recently “canceled.” There was a single NYT article that recently discussed the problematic nature of the Pepe Le Pew cartoons… that said, Warner Bros hasn’t aired that show in decades and it is not clear whether that article had anything to do with the skunk’s scene being removed from the new Space Jam movie.
Even growing up I remember things like political correctness needlessly becoming a partisan issue. When we fall into that media trap, all we’re doing is watering the plant of an already poisonous and ineffective two-party system. Be bigger than that temptation. Push back against media intended to further divide Americans. If something stinks, it’s probably rotten. Sure, there are certain topics that fall under the umbrella of political correctness that sound alarm bells for censorship issues… but didn’t everyone’s mom tell them that if they didn’t have anything nice to say, they shouldn’t say anything at all?
Again, though, the most important thing to remember about this recent wave of “canceling” is that censorship concerns are moot. A person who owns a thing is legally allowed to do all the censoring they want. It’s not the government that has decided to stop publishing 6 books written by Dr. Seuss… if it were, we could have the censorship conversation. These changes aren’t happening because there is a Democrat in the White House. They’re happening because the company who makes these products, has for whatever reason, decided to take a different approach.
In the case of the Dr. Seuss books, Dr. Seuss Enterprises re-evaluated their choice to publish 6 books based on racist themes and images. I have only heard of two of those six. The image below is, in my opinion, objectively problematic:
The fact that a major company behind such a well-known name has seen that something is problematic and has decided to stop publishing the books containing overt racist images is awesome. It sets a great example that we can all learn from. Humans have an amazing capacity to learn… that’s one of the only reasons we are in charge here on Earth. If we fall on ice once, we are often more careful on ice the next time. When we see that something is racially problematic, it’s a good thing if we can take action to get that thing out of rotation. More on that later.
Fundamentally, what is happening right now in Media Land is gross sensationalism.
“Cancel culture” isn’t real. Should people face consequences if they say or do racist things? Yes. We should all agree on that. Should we stop publishing books that perpetuate racist stereotypes? Yes. There are plenty of non-racist books that provide an education about racial differences without the added (exceedingly inappropriate) zing of Asian characters being painted yellow and African characters being given monkey features.
If you’re not convinced that some of Dr. Seuss’s material is racially problematic, I encourage you to pop on over to Google to check out the series of ads he did for FLIT in the 1930s. Yes, it was the 1930s. In the last 90 years, we’ve learned that images like that are not okay… let’s use that knowledge to let old racist graphics die.
Still can’t accept that “cancel culture” isn’t real? Still feeling like there’s something in the air now that is different and worse than before?
Okay, then, let’s consider it further.
Things have been “canceled” by people for millennia… this isn’t new. Being all for cancel culture when Colin Kaepernick kneels for the anthem (a perfectly legal form of peaceful protest considered respectful by many veterans) but opposing cancel culture when it’s threatening to eliminate an obviously racist thing is not exactly a moral stance. Burning your Nikes in the street but then turning around and spending $400 on a copy of “If I Ran the Zoo” on eBay after Dr. Seuss’s own family has pulled it from publication due to racist imagery is… silly.
The same people who seem to be so vocal about “cancel culture” now are part of the same communities who tried to cancel plenty of things in my lifetime. Things like trick-or-treating, Harry Potter, school dances, books and movies with LGBT+ characters and themes…
History absolutely bubbles over with things that have been canceled… often for good reason! Some examples that come to mind:
DDT
the Catholic Church (see the 16th century Protestant Reformation)
doing our everyday poopin’ in outdoor holes
polio
hoop skirts
phrenology (new science cancels old science like every damn day)
Ford Pintos (not to mention cars without seatbelts)
telegrams and rotary phones (replaced by easier and better ways to communicate)
lead paint
asbestos
Four Loco
Y’all remember when we all did the ice bucket challenge to cancel Alzheimer’s?
Learning that something is problematic and moving past it is LEARNING… not cancel culture. Learning and growth are good things. We all benefit from them.
Another thing worth commenting on from that Cat in the Hat post that circulated in my Facebook feed: why do we consistently demonize sensitivity? Racism feels like something we should all be sensitive about. If being sensitive about something results in meaningful change and a less hateful country, isn’t that… good? Why do so many Americans seem to place so much value on their “freedom” to hurt others?
And don’t get me started on comparing this stuff to Cardi B. It boggles my mind that that’s happening at all. Why is there suddenly so much outcry about one song that features female genitals in a literal ocean of songs that feature male genitals. I grew up knowing every word to songs about sex well before I even knew what sex was. Your kids are only desperate to listen to WAP because they know it makes you squeamish. And take a second to think about why it makes you squeamish. Genitals are human and scientific and we literally all have them. If you have more of a problem with WAP than with any of the other 10,000 songs about dicks and sex, you need to spend some time examining why that is.
Here’s another post I’ve seen bouncing around the social media feeds:
Something about this is just plain hilarious to me. Like what are racism and rape culture if not THE REALEST issues? This country’s problem with systemic racism runs so, so deep and is reflected very plainly in centuries of cold, hard numbers. It’s not that I *think* systemic racism is a problem. The data very clearly shows that regardless of what white people think about race in this country, systemic racism absolutely IS a problem. Racism and rape culture, arguably at the root of the most recent canceling spree, are not just real issues, they’re real American issues. They’re cultural issues. And solving cultural issues is not easy. We know that these issues have been passed down through the generations so maybe changing children’s toys and books and shows isn’t such a bad thing to try. There is SO much work to do to address racism and rape culture in the United States, but small steps are still progress.
If choosing to stop airing a show that blatantly perpetuates rape culture means one less young person is stalked or assaulted or raped, that’s worth it, no? What if that one young person who doesn’t become a victim is your daughter?
If choosing to stop publishing a book with racist themes and images leads to even one kid understanding more about the nuance of race in America and the breath-taking extent of white privilege, that’s worth it too.
Would I rather the media spend time and money to bring American attention to bigger issues associated with this nation’s racism and rape culture? 100%. There are ENORMOUS fish to fry. Dr. Seuss is not an enormous fish. Potato head toys are not enormous fish. Pepe Le Pew is not an enormous fish. They’re not even big fish. They’re small. They’re tiny fish. They’re anchovies. But frying some fish is better than frying no fish.
Canceling Pepe Le Pew is not hurting anyone. Warner Brothers owns Pepe Le Pew. Warner Brothers owns nearly everything; they are not hurting for money. And canceling Pepe certainly isn’t hurting American kids. There are plenty of other kids’ shows to watch that are significantly less problematic. Just because you watched Pepe Le Pew and went on to be a properly respectful adult doesn’t mean there aren’t other kids out there who did internalize a harmful disrespect for consent. No, Pepe Le Pew probably isn’t single-handedly responsible for anyone’s decision to stalk or rape anyone else. But could a show reinforce the groundwork that ultimately leads a kid down a path where he is unable or unwilling to respect the boundaries of others? I mean, it’s not the craziest thing I’ve heard this week.
Canceling six total Dr. Seuss books that are already pretty obscure is not hurting anyone.
Changing the name of an already genderless potato toy to reflect that genderless-ness is not hurting anyone.
A brief recap: racism and rape culture are very real, very American issues.
If the decision to stop doing a thing doesn’t hurt anyone and may even save someone some hurt, why does that decision bother you?
Also, in all your frantic Facebook posting, make sure you are differentiating between “cancel culture” and consequences. When the media tosses around the phrase “cancel culture” it has this tone of finality that is, plainly, not realistic. Fads and trends move so quickly in the internet age that the idea that a group of people could “cancel” something permanently is just not possible. People who do or say racist things, though, should face consequences. People who do or say transphobic or homophobic things should face consequences. Consequences are one of the only ways we learn to do better. And again, that’s not my opinion, it’s science.
One of the consequences that can have the most impact is, you guessed it, losing money! In this capitalist hellscape, money talks. Boycotting and choosing how we spend our money are some of the most engaging ways to combat racist and homophobic garbage. When you have your temper tantrum because the company who owns a book with overtly racist imagery decides to stop publishing that book, that speaks volumes about your priorities. If you respond to that company’s decision by buying the book in question on eBay for $400, that speaks even louder volumes. What are you doing? WHY are you doing it? I’m guessing you don’t even know, and you should probably spend some time thinking about it before you flush away a chunk of your stimmy on a freaking RACIST KIDS’ BOOK.
All actions have consequences. All of our choices never affect just us. How we vote affects other people. How we spend our money affects other people. Spending our money on things that are problematic perpetuates the problem… whether it be racism, rape culture, homophobia, or transphobia… or so many other things this country desperately needs to address.
It’s human to not like change. Change is going to happen, though, regardless of whether or not we’re comfortable with it. In the information age, we have a remarkable opportunity to steer that change. Leaving behind racist relics is change, so it may be inherently uncomfortable. But change that moves our country away from racism and rape culture is GOOD change.
I am begging you. Use critical thinking… if you’re seeing a headline about something being canceled, look up WHY. Some of these headlines are absolute bunk… they’re shared just to get people all riled up and create American division. However, just like we *should* cancel lead paint, a children’s book with overtly racist images shouldn’t be published anymore and it’s weird if you disagree with that. Disagreeing with that decision, as silly as it may seem, perpetuates racism. I know how triggered y’all can get when someone suggests you might be perpetuating racism, but it is what it is. Do your research. Don’t spend your money on racist garbage. Be better.
I feel like this post is me just barking the exact same thing in different ways, but I also feel like there is so much more I could say.
I’ll leave you with this:
What will it take for Americans to weigh the threats of racism and homophobia the same way we weight the threat of lead paint? If it’s a matter of costing lives, well, the numbers speak for themselves.
#cancel culture#cancellation#racism#rape culture#the muppets#pepe le pew#dr. seuss#seuss#consequences#change#mr. potato head#potato head#cancel culture isn't real
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When You Wake
I literally cannot believe I wrote this. This was originally started to celebrate Yaku’s birthday (happy belated, my love), and to satisfy the requests for a Noya/Yaku threesome. Uh, don’t come for me. I couldn’t find inspiration in the normal hq world, so we’re making it weird. If y’all thought Between the Lines was long, this monstrosity is 13.2k words. 13,200 words, with a shameful, side amount that is smut. Literally, this is all just plot.
ear candy list is, surprisingly, on the smaller side.
⤞ Revenga - System of A Down ⤞ Violent Pornography - System of A Down ⤞ Question! - System of A Down
pairing: Yaku/Reader/Noya
w a r n i n g s//TW: rape, murder, blood consumption, mentions of getting roofied, gore, blood from wounds, supernatural AU, revenge, temporarily mute reader, reader is converted to a vampire without consent, dubcon, death, spitroasting, dirty talk, senpai kink. PLEASE read through these warnings over and over until it is clear to you that this is not going to be an easy read. The reader literally goes on a revenge spree. ⤞ THIS. IS NOT. AN EASY. READ.
Now that you have been thoroughly warned, enjoy.
The way media and films and television glorified and romanticized college parties never could have prepared you for the fateful encounter in the alleyway on a muggy August evening. Primarily, college parties were depicted as fun—drunk nights on the weekends with your girlfriends, maybe hook up with that cute boy from chemistry that somehow ended up with you grinding on him on the dance floor. Though, in some genres, college parties end up with the protagonist roofied and raped and follows how the heroine spirals and recovers. But it only was supposed to happen in the movies, right?
It wasn’t supposed to end with you halfway to death, knocking on Hell’s door with blood pooling around your lifeless body in a barely lit, bleak alleyway. It wasn’t supposed to end with warbles of light fading in and out of your vision as cars passed you by, unknowing there was someone in the alleyway between a closed down butcher shop and a florist who had already gone home for the evening. You were only in your early twenties with only two more years of university to compete—it wasn’t supposed to end yet.
“We can’t just leave her here.”
“I think she’s too far gone, Yaku. We were too late.”
The voices swirling around you were unfamiliar, or at least from what you could gather. In your condition, it was impossible to discern them in the first place—were they even real voices? They sounded entirely too angelic from what you could process in your catatonic state. Maybe they weren’t; maybe death had taken you without your knowledge and the jury that decided whether or not your soul would ascend to heaven was passing their judgment on you.
“I can save her, Noya.” One of the voices, presumably this Yaku character snarls back with urgency. It is the last thing you hear before your limp body is pulled from the concrete. The movement, regardless of how delicate, causing more blood to rush from your open wounds and draining any ounce of consciousness from your mind. “You mind trying to collect the fallout?”
Nishinoya, though shaking his head, gives a subtle grin that cannot be seen in the dead of the night. He pulls out a large mason jar from the satchel he’s carrying and places the mouth of the jar where blood is pouring out profusely from a knife wound. The man collecting the blood knew entirely too well that once his mate sets his mind to something, there was no changing it. Not that it served as a recurring issue; if anything, Noya was grateful for Yaku’s stubbornness considering it was that exact trait of his that had given the former his second chance at life.
The two of them move swiftly, trying to make it back to their hidden mansion, that was quite a distance away, in secret. Yaku is doing all that he can to make sure not to disturb your body so as not to open any wounds further that could force you to bleed out and meet the grim reaper. He wasn’t a very pleasant creature, but that was a story for another day. At the same time, Nishinoya is almost fighting to keep the same steadfast pace while simultaneously holding the now half full mason jar just under the knife wound. The blood was beginning to thicken, turning from bright red to a deep crimson as it oxidizes.
The moment they enter their private garden, Nishinoya busts down the door to their home with expertise, alerting the other members of their clan. “Akaashi!” He screeches, his voice bellowing out in decibels that should not be used unless trying to project a voice in an amphitheater with no microphone. Thank omniscient beings for noise cancelling enchantments. “We need you!” An almost timid, young looking man enters the foyer where Noya is still collecting blood and Yaku is holding your limp body in his arms.
“So that’s where you two have been,” Akaashi deadpans, unfazed by the steadily decaying girl. “Bring her to my room. You can store what blood you’ve gathered there while I remove the knife and get her patched up.” Though calm, the three of them move at breakneck speeds, laying you face down on an operating table while Akaashi suits up. From what he can tell, this was going to be a real mess, considering how deep the knife is. The three of them knew what was to come and what their designated roles in this moment were—Nishinoya was to separate the blood he had gathered from your body and ration them into IV bags, while Yaku was provide suction in case of a bleed out.
“We can save her, can’t we?” Yaku asks quietly, tools in hand.
“That will depend on her will to fight,” Akaashi says quietly, half due to concentration, half because he genuinely does not have a valid answer. “You’ve done this time and time again, Yaku. If anyone is going to save her, it’s going to be you.”
Upon coming to, the only muscles in your body that can move are your eyelids. Peeling them back as much as you can muster, you notice the only light filtering into whatever room you are currently residing in is coming from the blaring moonlight through an open window. The shadows around you make up areas and shapes that you are entirely unfamiliar with, causing you to sit up impulsively to make sense of your surroundings. A mistake on your part, as you are immediately met with a searing pain in your ribs. With further inspection from your droopy eyes, you learn that your torso is entirely bare, save for the copious amounts of medical grade bandages and gauze around your breasts and stomach. Blood pooled somewhere along your left shoulder blade where the pain felt the worst.
“You shouldn’t try to sit up right now.” The same voice you faintly remember from the alley, the one that didn’t want to leave you, before blacking out calls out from across the bedroom. The room is quite large from what you could tell and his smooth voice seems to be leagues away. “Lay back down before you bleed out again—I’ll change your bandages.” From the shadows, a man whom you presume to be Yaku emerges before you, perfect pale skin and sandy brown locks nearly reflecting in the moonlight as he approaches. His face, while incredibly handsome, is blank and is strictly business as he saunters near. Even as he is gingerly tearing off the tight bindings around you with next to no effort, his face remains nonplussed. Even as he washes the dried, crusty blackened blood off your bare chest, nothing. “Do you remember anything?” Yaku’s voice is quiet and somber as he asks his question. He takes your silence as a no.
Your mind is a hazy smog, trying to recall any type of memory at all. Rather than actual imagery, you see a white light when you close your eyes—you see colors you don’t remember seeing before, you hear crying. You hear your name. Not just your first name or a nickname either, you hear your entire given name along with your birthday, even the time of birth.
Any attempt to recall memories is interrupted by a sharp pain. You suck in a breath as Yaku tries to lift your arm to wrap the fresh bandages around your torso, causing him to grimace ever so slightly. This task was a bit easier for him when you were still unconscious, but nonetheless he is glad you’re awake. When the pain subsides, you peel your eyelids back once again, staring at the man sitting at the edge of the bed in wonder. Why was he tending to your wounds? How did he fit into the story? “You needn’t worry about that right now, [name],” he murmurs quietly, reintroducing the same delicate tone you heard before blacking out in the alley. Yaku can tell you’re wondering how he knew what to respond with and how he knew your name but, after a small deliberation, he decides it’s best not to overwhelm you right now. “Get some rest, little one,” he speaks again, “I’ll be here when you wake.” Before you know it, you’re out like a light once again.
Yaku exits his and Noya’s shared bedroom to dispose of the sullied bandages, only to be greeted to the sight of his mate leaning against the bannister closest to their room. “How’s she doing?” Yaku’s lips tighten, the seam becoming a hard line as his grimace deepens.
“She doesn’t remember anything but when I asked her if she did...”
“What?” Noya presses, perturbed at the silence. Very few things in their lives rendered Yaku speechless.
“She started seeing memories of her birth.” The two shorter leaders of the clan meander their way down the grandiose staircase in silence, each step accompanied by the dramatic chimes of a grand piano coming from the foyer. The music stops when they reach the bottom of the staircase, Sugawara pausing his fingers and quirking a brow at the couple. It was a rare occurrence to see both of them, or Nishinoya in the very least, look so morose.
“What’s got you guys looking so down? You look like someone just died.” The musician muses. Sugawara Koushi always did have the most twisted sense of humor—that was partially the reason that Yaku had kept him around. The other primary reason was solely for bragging rights and an inside joke between the clan because no matter how many times Sugawara introduced himself as Beethoven or Bach, people assumed that they all just meant he was talented. Not that it was literal and Sugawara was just a name he’d adopted when he earned another century of life.
“Ha ha,” Nishinoya drawls satirically, for both himself and for Yaku. The latter excuses himself, parting ways because he knows he can’t handle conversation right now. “Come on, Suga, that’s not funny. Yaku’s already taking this really hard and if we lose her...”
“Humans die all the time, Nishi. A conversion isn’t a guaranteed shot at a second life and Yaku knows that so why is he—“
“Because she was found just like I was. Wrong place at the wrong time and it ended with...” the shorter of the two can no longer find the words to speak. It didn’t matter how many centuries old everyone in the clan was, it didn’t matter that they had watched plagues take countless lives or even bared witness to some of Jack the Ripper’s victims—it was a different monster entirely to genuinely watch a person become prey to another human. “I hope she makes it through, if only to rip out the guys throat that stabbed her.”
Three months had passed since you had first woken up. Strength is returning to you little by little, though not enough for you to hold consciousness for more than a few minutes a day. Regardless, Yaku is relieved to see you making some form of progress, to see that you’re somewhat handling the conversion well. The head of the clan was almost always present when you did awake, though there were instances in which his partner, Nishinoya, had been the one to greet you.
Nishinoya was much more boisterous than his other half—much more talkative and, considering you haven’t found the strength to speak quite yet, that was entirely okay with you. You learned that Yaku and Nishinoya had been together a very long time and Yaku had saved his life ages ago, as the latter phrased it. In admiration, Noya mentions his partner’s abundance of patience—a skill that he himself lacked—and determination to see justice being served had swayed the younger of the two to continuously stand alongside him. Through these little vignettes of their life, however, Noya makes it a point to acknowledge the fact that he was once almost too overbearing for his senior, often intimidating him with just how open and blunt he was. “Nishi, are you boring her with details of our mundane life?” Yaku asks bemusedly as he enters the room you’d been resting in.
“Hey, we aren’t boring. I’m not boring you, am I?” Noya looks to your face, your expression not giving much away save for the light in your barely live eyes. It was far from mundane—if anything, hearing the stories made you so curious considering from just barely glancing with the two, they seemed to be a strange couple.
“We are,” Yaku confirms, though as to what, you aren’t sure. You were certain you hadn’t said anything aloud, considering you practically can’t. “Let’s just say I can hear your thoughts. It’s how we’ve been communicating with you.” The head of clan saunters over casually, sitting at the edge of the mattress opposite to his partner. Both of their rich, golden irises are gazing at you, gauging a reaction from you as he shares this bit of information. Weird, was the only way for you to describe it. Though Yaku didn’t need to read your mind to know that; the slightly panicked look on your face gave away your thoughts.
“Don’t think we don’t know about those vivid wet dreams you have of us—“
“Yū, you weren’t supposed to tell her that!”
“What? We’re all adults here—“
“Nishi, get out,” Yaku covers his face in utter horror, even more so as his partner exits the room laughing as he does so. Shameless Noya. The door closes, leaving you and Yaku alone—were he able to go red out of embarrassment, he probably would have. “I-I am so sorry about him.” Testing out the information that the man beside you supplied moments ago, you reassure him that it’s fine—that you have no control over your dreams and that he probably doesn’t have a way to turn off this strange ability. For a moment, he’s relieved because you seem to be accepting everything with grace thus far; maybe telling you the truth wasn’t going to be the worst case scenario.
But the thought of the truth makes Yaku hesitate—there was no way you were ready to handle the entirety of the truth. At the moment, you could barely handle your weekly check-ups with Akaashi—the household doctor. After a formal introduction, you learned that Akaashi was the one who patched up your wounds when you were first brought to the little mansion. From what you gathered, he was quiet and direct, kind even, but you hated the weekly visits. Not only was Yaku carrying you rather painful, as you’re still recovering from your injuries, but Akaashi had to do regular blood transfusions because, according to the young doctor that you swore could not have already completed medical school and residency, you had lost a lot of blood during the incident.
An incident in which you still can’t recall.
“It’ll come to you,” Yaku says morosely, probably responding in accordance to your thought. The man beside you gets up from the bed, holding his arms open to you, silently asking for permission to pick you up. “Sorry, I’ll try to be more gentle.” His arms are cold as he lifts you up, but all you can focus on is the throbbing in your back as he moves you. A sharp intake of breath leaves your lungs as Yaku supports you physically, adding gentle words of encouragement because he can almost feel how much pain you’re in. Every step down the steep staircase adds another metaphorical bruise to your tender skin, a small groan leaving your throat each time. And while you’re not uncomfortable with the idea of being in Yaku’s arms, you’re grateful when you’re laid down in Akaashi’s office along the leather exam seat.
“How are you feeling today, [name]?” The young doctor asks as he preps you for your blood transfusion. Much to your surprise, you feel hungry—ravenous, even—like you hadn’t eaten a meal in months. Maybe you hadn’t; it wouldn’t be that ridiculous to consider since your memory was a little shoddy.
“You’ll feel better after the transfusion,” Yaku reassures from the chair he’s sitting in beside the exam bed, “we’ll get some food in your system before we start your physical therapy.” There’s an interesting intonation in the way he speaks this, you notice. Like there’s an underlying joke or hidden agenda that you don’t quite understand, but at the same time, the strange phrasing doesn’t trigger your fight-or-flight system in any capacity. If anything, it just seems that Yaku wants to help you regain strength as best you can.
Though, that was currently proving to be a challenge as well. While you weren’t entirely sure how long ago your injuries occurred, you knew a decent amount of time had to have passed. One of your first check-up appointments with Akaashi led to the explanation of the muscle atrophy in your legs from lack of use. Once you slowly became acclimated to being awake for more than just a few minutes a day, Daichi was introduced to you as your physical therapist. He was another enigma—entirely too young to be as experienced as he was in his field, but you decided against questioning it—temporarily mute or not.
Being mute was another issue that was taking much longer than you liked. You hated only being able to communicate through Yaku’s inexplicable talent of being able to read your mind. There were many occasions in which you wanted to ask Akaashi about your condition and how bad of a state you had been brought to him in; how you wanted to ask Sugawara how he’d learned to play such a vast variety of melodies so expertly; how you wanted to tell Nishinoya that every time he tried to feed you a soup or something, it tasted foul and metallic no matter how fresh it was.
You’d have to wait until you found your voice again.
After your check-in with Akaashi, Yaku brings you to Daichi’s office just down the hallway. “Hey, there’s our little fighter.” Daichi was probably the kindest out of everyone in the household. He had a warmth to him that seemed to contrast his icy fingers when he’d hold and guide you for your therapy sessions—a little uncanny that everyone in this mansion had freezing finger tips. Maybe everyone had poor blood circulation?
From the opposite end of the room, Yaku stifles a laugh by biting his cheek. Glad to know that your deconstructed concept of time hadn’t waned on your sense of humor. Meanwhile, Daichi lays you gingerly on a mat on the ground with you back flat as he wraps a resistance band around one of his ankles, as well as your own. “Alright, [name], I’m gonna help you get your leg up and I want to see you pull your leg up as high as you can go, understood?” Five didn’t seem like a very large number, but for now it was the goal. If you could at least lift your legs five times, it was progress considering the severe muscle atrophy in your legs.
Some days, it was difficult for Yaku to sit with you through therapy. He can see the way you wince in pain because you’re trying to relearn and rebuild your muscle groups; other times he just wanted someone, anyone, to blurt out the truth about the situation and hope that it inspires you to push yourself to heal. Some days, it was difficult because Yaku found himself just wanting to hold you in his bed that you’d taken over while the two of you plot out the revenge you didn’t even know you needed. But it wasn’t always bad. There were days, like today, where the progress on your therapy was going much better than anyone in the clan anticipated. There were days where Yaku would ask what you remembered about...anything, and you would have some form of answer for him.
On those days, Yaku began to realize that your memories were coming in chronological order. From the first time you sat up or crawled, to your first word even. In fact, Yaku’s favorite moment that he’s witnessed thus far was watching your father teach you to take your very first steps—it seemed to recur during your therapy sessions, as if subconsciously encouraging you to try to walk again. Maybe that’s why today, you were able to provide Daichi with double the repetitions that he asked for—a sure sign that strength and muscle were returning to your legs. But even with what progress you’ve made so far, Yaku makes it a point to carry you back to your room and lay you back in bed to rest. As always, Yaku tucked you in as he spoke, “get some sleep, little one. I’ll be here when you wake,”
For weeks on end, dreams stop becoming dreams. Per usual, Yaku awaits in the corner opposite of the bed where you rest, allowing your memories-turned-dreams to flood his mind. Each night, they’re progressively becoming more and more clear—you’re able to recall outfits that you’d worn twenty years ago with perfect detail, scars and scrapes that your friends had, even when that one sock was in the corner of your closet from when you were seven. But the clearer these chronological dreams became, the less frequently you were waking up and it was beginning to worry the head of the clan. While you were still obtaining your weekly blood transfusions to help sustain your life, it seemed to be that they were no longer providing you with enough energy to move past your current stage of recovery. “Yaku, she needs to start feeding,” Akaashi had instructed him during a consultation.
“I still haven’t told her—“
“Come on, man, it’s been almost eight months,” the house doctor groans. There was no reason to coddle you anymore as your life-threatening wounds had already healed for the most part. Sure, there was still discomfort from your broken ribs but even those had almost entirely healed over; your physical therapy sessions and rehabilitation with Daichi were going rather well but, at this point, if you didn’t start getting more substance in your body, this would be the end of the line for you. Akaashi had advised him this for weeks now, but Yaku still hesitated. “We’ve got to tell her.”
“I know, I know. I just—“ the sandy brunette ruffles his claws through his mussed locks in frustration, “I think her power is developing. And I’m afraid if we drop the bomb on her now, it’s going to halt or hinder that progress.”
“Either tell her or feed her,” Akaashi bites, “if you don’t, she’s not going to have any power because she’s going to starve to death.” With that, Akaashi walks away because he has nothing left to argue at this point. While he may be the youngest of the brood, this made Akaashi the most volatile of the group. More often than not, he was relatively kind and patient, timid even, as he was in his human life, but also very stern and strict—all of it coming from a place of love. And Yaku, knowing the tremendous amounts of emotional pain that the former had received, the leader of the clan dare not disrespect him.
Rather than making it an argument, Yaku roams around the lodge to grab a couple bags of O negative out of storage before heading back to his room. Much to his surprise, Nishinoya is sitting at the edge of the bed already, a slight look of panic washing over his features. “Yaku, I think something is wrong.” Without another word, the creature in question hands the bags of blood to his mate before resting his forehead against yours—a sure fire way to make sure that the mental images he picked up from you were pristine and uninterrupted as you dreamed—ignoring the cold sweat beading on your forehead.
You were at the Pike house. It was the first week of the new college semester and your roommates had convinced you to tag along to a frat party they were invited to. The night was going along exactly like a corny romantic comedy—you had locked eyes with a man from across the dance floor. He was sweet—much kinder than others you had met that night. He grabbed you drink after drink, but your memory begins to go fuzzy after that despite being able to recall memories of your own birth or the stupid girl that picked on you when you were twelve and even the small pimple on her temple that you figured was probably making her insecure. So if you were able to recall these memories, dreams, whatever they were, with such perfect clarity, why could you not remember leaving that party? Did that mean he had been drugging your drinks? It was entirely possible, considering Pike wasn’t exactly known for their hospitality. You vaguely remember the man holding your hand firmly as the two of you weave and bob around people and being met with the sweltering humidity of a muggy August night and your roommates, Yukie and Kaori, were nowhere to be found.
You were dragged into a dimly lit alleyway, stumbling with every step that the man had nearly carried you by your wrist alone, reeking of trash that had been long overdue for pick up and maybe even rotting carcasses. It was difficult to tell considering the drugs you assume that had been placed in your system and it was even more difficult to recall the memories. Bits and pieces of your memory were coming back in patches—though the face of the man that had brought you there was not one of them. Nor were any of his friends that had joined in, appearing at the opening of the alleyway. You remember the sound of tearing fabric, salacious laughter of the group of men surrounding your body. You remember feeling searing pain as one held a knife to your throat, warning you that he would slit your throat if you tried to scream.
The threat was replaced in the form of one of the frat boys ramming a half-hard cock down your throat, knife still in place along the jugular vein, while every orifice and inch of your skin had been violated. Vaguely, you remember trying to bite down on the cock in your mouth and run away. The one that threatened to kill you had missed your throat when you ran and threw the knife into your back instead. Foul screeches of demeaning slander left their mouths as they kicked your ribs in at full force, as if the knife deep in your back wasn’t bad enough.
You remember them leaving your bare, naked body in the alley for death to take you.
You remember their faces.
Awakening with a start, you sit up abruptly, only to fall back into the pillow with a resonant clacking noise followed by a dull throb to your forehead. Yaku recoils, mostly out of shock rather than pain—maybe laying his head on yours wasn’t his finest moment. “You remember,” he balks after he’s recovered from the impact. You’re trying to scream, no sound leaving your lungs while tears barreled out from your eyes. Remember? Why was that a memory? Why did it have to be a memory?
Nishinoya acts hastily, tearing open one of the O negative packs and draining half the contents into his mouth and holding it there as he shoves Yaku out of the way. The smaller of the two slats his lips over your silently screaming mouth, puncturing a small wound to the inside of your lip with his teeth and letting the blood trickle in the hole. It feels like pudding trying to push through a sieve, the flavor of copper and iron tampered out by an earthy, meat flavor—maybe venison? The desire to scream fades away as well, rather being over taken to have whatever nourishment Noya is giving you to enter you more and more. Out of necessity, you mold your lips over his, sucking hard on his lip while wrapping your arms around him because it just didn’t seem that he could get close enough in this moment. Despite the fingers you have threaded in Nishinoya’s gelled locks, he pulls away with a shit-eating grin, his tongue swiping away at the trail of red liquid dripping from the seam of his lips. “Careful, might make a guy a fall in love with that kinda kiss.”
“M-more,” you croak out, deflecting the younger one’s flirty comment all together. Yaku and Noya’s eyes go wide upon hearing your voice for the first time. The former acts on instinct, downing the remaining contents of the bag in his partner’s hand before reenacting the same gesture as the latter. Yaku’s lips are much softer than his partners—or maybe it’s the quelling of whatever hunger that hadn’t been satiated that eased the desire. With Yaku, his tongue laves against the wound that Noya had made, coaxing the fluid to enter at a much more steadfast, intimate pace. Even well after he was done feeding you, Yaku sucked on your tongue, encouraging you to reciprocate, so as to get every drop. “W-What was t-that?” You pant out brokenly as soon as the two of you break apart. The question startles the two sitting at the edge of the bed—now that you had your voice somewhat back, Yaku no longer needed to communicate for you. That also meant he couldn’t control the flow of responses to not overwhelm you.
“I think it’s time you finally got your answers,” Noya mumbles, treading carefully as he looks at his partner. It was a silent reassurance that, no matter how this scenario proceeded, he would be here to support Yaku. To make you more comfortable, he adjusts the pillows behind you so that your back can rest properly along the headboard.
“M-my d-d-dreams?” Having just rediscovered your voice, it still came out in sharp, staccato-like whimpers, but the boys weren’t going to discourage you from speaking. Much like everything else Yaku had done in his life, he had done with patience and your recovery and rehabilitation were no different. But your throat was still raw and it still hurt to speak—thankfully with your mind rushing like a bullet train, Yaku was able to grasp the entirety of your question.
“I think they’re more memories than dreams.” His words come out like a condemning nail in a coffin—like a doctor telling you you only have a few months left to live—because that means everything you recalled from Pike house, the drinks, the party, the alley, all of it was real. “Noya and I found you that night barely clinging to life. Naked, soaked in blood and semen. You died that night, [name].” As he speaks, his cold finger tips traced along your breast until you feel the throbbing mound of flesh—a scar of where the knife had been thrown into you from the back and exited out the front. “The knife had gone through your aorta. Akaashi spent a long time trying to repair it but was unable to.”
Your body begins to tremble as silent sobs wrack through your body. You died? “S-so how ‘mi h-here?” Yaku looks over at Noya in discernible worry—not because the head was afraid of telling the truth, no. He was afraid how you would react to the truth. His partner looks at him poignantly, mentally reminding him that this was eerily similar to how Noya had reacted when he had learned the truth as well. Yaku’s head bobs in agreement, swallowing his hesitance before speaking again.
“I made you like me. Like the rest of us.” Your brows furrowed in confusion, suspicion even, because there’s no way that he’s saying what you think he’s saying. But rather than offering a verbal response, Yaku holds his hand out towards Noya, in which he places the other bag of O Negative in his palm. While the original plan was to just feed you once again, the second Yaku tears open the bag, the hunger you thought had eased returned at full force. You rip the bag out of his cold hands, elongated claws scratched at you as you do so, before you down the contents like a shotgunned beer before you could realize what you were doing.
“T-This is a joke, right?” You balk, voice clear as day due to the strength returning to your body once again from freshly consumed sustenance. But the tensions have gone down significantly, to the point where Noya feels relief and excuses himself to feed, leaving you in Yaku’s solitary care. Once the two of you are left alone, Yaku can only shake his head as he continues to press on with the truth. This had to be a cruel, sick joke. But it wasn’t funny and you certainly weren’t laughing. Yet Yaku had no reason to lie to you and the snack you had just consumed moments ago was meant to serve as a final nail in the metaphorical coffin to make you understand that he was telling the truth.
“We have been alive for centuries—storytellers dubbing our kind as vampires—but originally, we were simply called the Damned.” Yaku proceeds to go through the history, much like he had with all the others before you, because he feels the need to share the truth, needs to tell you that your death isn’t the end of your life but rather the beginning like it had for all those in clan. The most recent addition to the family was Akaashi. He was less than a century old, compared to the others. Akaashi had been tied to a tree and shot repeatedly, only to watch his lover drown to death, who had been tossed into the ocean before shortly before with a thirty pound weight attached to his ankle with his last few breaths. Yaku and Sugawara were the ones to set his nearly lifeless body free with the head of the clan performing Akashi’s conversion. This lead to the newborn to coming back to slaughter the community that decided to his partner needed to die for being a man in love.
Each of their stories was nearly identical. Sugawara, who apparently has been every major known classical musician in history hiding under the guise of his shapeshifter ability, and Daichi were hanged together for being a homosexual couple after their village had carved unsavory words on their bodies to remind their reincarnations of their sins. Yaku and Noya had saved each of them respectively, and allowed the two of them to go on a rampage to annihilate their executioners.
Lastly, or rather firstly, was Nishinoya himself. As Yaku goes into detail about transforming his partner, he tears up ever so slightly. And as you listen actively with no interruptions, no questions even, as he tells you about how Nishi was wrongly imprisoned for theft and how the other prisoners constantly violated and sodomized his body because he was smaller than the rest; how he ended his own life by ingesting whatever toxic chemicals he could find and how Yaku broke him out of prison to start a new life together. “Speak of the devil and he shall appear,” the aforementioned prisoner re-enters the room, a fragile smile on his thin lips as he takes a seat beside his partner. “So you finally told her?”
“B-but why m-me? Why not just let me die?”
“Do you not want revenge against the assholes that killed you a year ago, [ name ]?” Noya bit before Yaku could jump in. “They’re still alive after what they did to you—how is that fair?!”
A year?
You had died a year ago. How did your family take the news? Your roommates and best friends? Nishi was right—it wasn’t fair at all. Yaku raises a hand towards his partner in attempts to get him to calm down before he got too riled up about the situation and before he could get out the most important question. “I have to know, [ name ], if you want to continue on with this lifestyle or not before we proceed with the real rehabilitation.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You tilt your head to your newfound savior. He said it so nonchalantly, as if learning how to walk or learning that your diet was blood wasn’t rehabilitation.
“Well, we have to teach you how to feed properly so your strength gets back up—unless you just want us to feed you for the rest of your eternal life.” Noya jokes, waggling his eyebrows suggestively in what you’ve come to understand is his typical, joking demeanor.
“I mean, I wouldn’t complain.”
“Noya, can you maybe save the flirting for later?” Yaku grits out—once again slightly mortified. It brings laughter to the man in question; it was like rewatching his own life all over again, seeing him get flustered at the smallest amounts of forward affection. It was endearing, if anything.
“Sure. Let’s get [ name ] healthy first then.”
After coming to terms with your transformation and feeding more regularly, still off of a supply stock that the mansion carried, you were able to attend therapy sessions with Daichi more frequently. And while you hadn’t entirely regained muscle or use of your legs, you were able to at least stay awake more often than not. Rather than being cooped up in the bedroom, you found yourself lounging near the entryway where Sugawara would entertain you with the countless pieces he had written over the years. It was soothing and peaceful and Sugawara’s jovial personality kept you from spiraling into a deeper hole knowing that you died. It was still an insane concept, but the five men in your new home had worked hard to keep you sane. “Ready for your session?” Yaku asks gently as he takes a seat beside you on the luxurious sofa. He’s not as uptight as he was now that you knew the truth, though he still did get flustered when you would openly show affection. Even if it was something as simple as leaning your head on his shoulder like you were now.
“I think so,” doing what you could, you scooted and clambered onto Yaku’s lap, wrapping your arms around his neck firmly while your weakened lower limbs splayed across his lap. He tucks one arm under your knees while the other supports your back, effectively scooping you up and brings you to the kitchen where the blood stock is kept. You quirk a brow at the creature carrying you, knowing you’ve already had at least three bags since you woke up.
“Gotta get your strength up so you can recover faster,” is all he responds with before he sets you down on a bar stool. Yaku tears open the bag of O Negative and, much to your shock, he drinks half the contents without swallowing before his lips are on yours. One of his fangs finds purchase on the inside of your lip, sinking down and creating an opening for the blood to flow in for quicker delivery. Usually, Yaku would only have to feed you like this when you were in a weaker state, so it felt a bit out of place for him to be doing it right now, but it certainly wasn’t unwelcome. While the blood trickles into the wound, Yaku’s tongue swirls with yours intimately, coating the cavern with the liquid and he doesn’t stop until every ounce is clear from both of your mouths.
“Not complaining,” you say slowly, “but is there a particular reason you wanted to feed me instead of just letting my chug the bag?” As you ask your question, Yaku is draining the rest of the contents of the bag into his mouth before pulling you towards him in another kiss. The question is repeating over and over in your head, he can hear it loud and clear, but the other thoughts are spurring him on further. The thoughts of how Yaku’s touch makes you crave more, makes you want to feel his lips along your skin and his large hands gripping your thighs tightly. Sometimes he’s unsure whether or not you conveniently forget that he can read your mind, sometimes he wonders if you let your salacious thoughts run wild on purpose. His chest is heaving, deep intakes of breath are plunging through his nostrils despite the blood being long gone. He doesn’t want to stop but centuries of control are begging him to.
“We’re going somewhere today, after your PT,” Yaku pants out after he pulls away, tilting his head down because he can’t look at you right now—he’s afraid to. He needs to try to dampen whatever feral thoughts are running through your brain so that his own self-control doesn’t just get tossed out the window. “Noya and I are taking you out for your first hunt.”
“Uh, am I ready for that?” Shit, you can’t even walk in your own yet. Yaku laughs, grateful for the reprieve from your sexually charged thoughts when you point out the setback.
“That’s why the extra feeding tonight. I needed to make sure it was in your bloodstream so that you had enough strength for PT and the hunt,” Yaku adjusts you from barstool, scooping you into his arms once again to bring you to the mansion’s back garden. Daichi is standing a short distance away adorning a tight muscle tee and joggers, while Noya and Akaashi are sitting at the small table with cigars in hand. Yaku steadies you in front of Daichi, the latter holding onto your hands to make sure you don’t fall, before the former joins the rest the clan at the table. Sugawara emerges from inside the mansion as well, passing off a cigar to Yaku while lighting his own. It was uncomfortable in some capacity to have everybody watching—you couldn’t help but feel as if you were being critiqued on your performance.
“I’m going to be one step ahead of you, and I won’t let go, okay?” Daichi holds his arms out to give you space to take your first step. You take in a sharp breath, the scent of scent of cigars and pine trees overwhelming your nasal cavity. When did you sense of smell become that strong? With trembling limbs, you cling onto Daichi’s muscular forearms, praying to god you didn’t fall as you took a step forward.
“Hey, look!” Noya cheers from a distance, nudging Yaku in the stomach. “She took a step!” The excitement in his voice was evident because, after months of constant aid, Noya has come to have a soft spot for you almost as much as Yaku does. The two of them are watching, utterly enthralled with the way you’re only moving mere millimeters—but millimeters is better than nothing considering the muscle decay and atrophy that had taken place over the last year.
After the first few steps and curling your toes in blades of grass, your feet begin to relax as you tremble forward. Gripping Daichi with all the strength in your hands, you pick your right foot off the ground and place it forward. “That’s good, [ name ]! Gimme one more,” Daichi, a therapist in more ways than one, encourages you to continue moving, wanting to make sure both legs were receiving equal treatment. You repeat the motion with your left leg, taking two full steps. While not perfect, you kept moving forward with his guidance until his calves hit the stone wall of the garden fountain. Considering where you started, twenty five feet was a tremendous distance to cover. “You did amazing, [ name ].” The vampire holding onto you smiles big, pride swelling in chest like a father praising his daughter for taking first in a beauty pageant.
Yaku and Noya are by your side immediately in celebration, the latter much more overt with it as he’s hugging you and holding you up. “What do you think, Daichi? Is she strong enough to at least witness a hunt?” The former asks. Mentioning the “H” word again perks your ears up because a part of you almost wishes to not have to engage with whatever a hunt entails, but part of you also knows that this is your life now. Everything you thought you knew was no longer valid—this was your rebirth, your awakening.
“I think she’ll be okay if one of you carries her for it—“
“Ooh, I’ll do it!” Noya cheers almost too loudly in your ear as he’s still holding you. Without so much as a chance to offer a rebuttal, you’re swept up into his arms as he stands at full height before glancing at his mate. “Ready to go?” Yaku gives a nod, gripping tightly at the satchel over his shoulder before the three of you are off at breakneck speeds. They’re silent as they travel—perhaps because were they to open their mouths at this speed and velocity, they would be catching a whole lot of bugs in their mouths. To your surprise, the three of you end up outside ten-foot-tall brick walls and a chain link fence.
“This is a...”
“A prison,” Yaku answers simply, as if he were answering with what his favorite color was rather than his favorite meal, “considering our diet, we choose to collect our sustenance from those who do not deserve redemption.” There’s a malignant, dark twist in the headman’s words.
“Personally, I prefer going after the rapists and child molestors. Those bastards deserve to be drained of every ounce of blood.” Noya snarls—you could tell it was personal for him. But how could he tell? Surely it wasn’t just written on placards outside of prison cells.
“Easy. Walk in, ask them what they’re serving time for, and their minds fill in the blanks.” The foreboding you sensed from Yaku deepened even further; deepened to the point where it felt like a magnet drawing your eyes towards your savior. But he looked anything but. Yaku stood merely a few inches taller, his claws sharpening and turning black while red overtook the once golden hues of his irises. You look up at Noya curiously, wondering if he’ll undergo the same sort of transformation, but before you could even question it, the gold in his own eyes had already molded into crimson rings.
The three of you enter the building with ease, aiming for the top floor because, according to Nishi, that was where they kept the worst criminals. It played out exactly as Yaku said it would—ask them what they were imprisoned for and, if they were in captivity under the basis of rape, first or second degree murder, sexual assault, or anything involving a minor, he would sink his fangs into their jugular vein and drain them dry. Though he announces his satisfaction, he remains in this strange form that he has presented you with as Nishinoya passes you off into his arms.
The smaller of the two repeats the same process, taking down two prisoners of his own before taking the satchel off of his partner’s shoulder. Noya continues questioning prisoners, letting Yaku’s power of mind reading acting as the judgment call, before pulling out a small, sharp knife from the satchel and slitting each victim’s throat while holding them downcast like a gavel banging down the rule. As blood fountains from their necks, Nishinoya holds fresh IV bags over the openings to collect whatever comes out like rain. Was this how they ended up getting blood for you to feed over the past year. “Yes,” Yaku answers evenly, looking down at you with his crimson eyes, “but we were hoping to actually teach you how to feed tonight. Are you up for it?” Every nerve in your body seemed to scream no, like you shouldn’t be witnessing these events let alone doing it.
But your guts are telling you yes, yes this is now your way of survival. These men were horrid, their victims needed justice. You needed justice. Giving Yaku a small nod, he gives you instructions while the three of you search for your very first meal. Considering neither your fangs nor claws had grown in, as you were very much still a baby by all intents and purposes, Noya would have to incapacitate your prey for you while you bit the inside of your lip, reopening the same puncture wounds from earlier, to allow easier access for the nutrients to enter your body. Once they were out, Noya would puncture the jugular vein for you, while Yaku dipped you down far enough to feed.
Your lips latched on to the raw skin, hooking your own canines for leverage as you draw the blood from your dinner and the moment the warmth seeped into the opening, all doubts about what you were doing had flown out the window. You adjusted the way you’re sitting on your victim, your hands finding purchase on his shoulders as you continuously sucked every drop of life from him. “Did she just—“ Noya questions, not missing the fact that you had just moved your atrophied legs. And while Yaku is very aware of his mate’s balking, he can only focus on the way your lips mold against your meal’s neck or the muted slurping noises bubbling from your lungs like a woman starved. In a sense, that was quite literal. Noya looks over at his partner—silence wasn’t typical of Yaku when asked a question—but words are lost on him when he sees the way Yaku’s eyes are hungrily staring at your form and he’s unsure if its due to hunger or hunger. The moan that leaves your tongue when you finally pull away from the now empty body confirms the shorter one’s suspicions. “Not that seeing you turned on doesn’t turn me on, but you might wanna put that away, Morisuke.” Noya teases before walking towards you, the call of his given name causing Yaku to snap out of his stupor. Well fuck, he snarls bitterly in his head. He was gonna have to feed again, considering all the blood he had just consumed went straight to his cock.
You feel alive—more alive than you felt in ages. And despite your attempt being incredibly shaky, you managed to stand on your own two feet, using the wall to brace yourself. Noya rushes over to your side to try to hold you steady, asking if you’re alright. “I’m more than alright, Nishi, holy shit.” He has an arm under you, carefully bringing you back towards Yaku, though for the most part, you’re walking entirely on your own.
“So what, have you guys just been giving me snacks this whole time?” You sneer teasingly, though Yaku looks away because your accusation because it isn’t entirely wrong. The blood packs were indeed “snacks” but were usually only used to stave off hunts, that way they didn’t just decimate the prison on an every other day basis, but were also used as post coitus replenishments.
“One more?” Yaku coughs out, as if choking on his own spit. “We can do this one together, if you like.” He’s trying to be polite, despite the feral look in his eyes while also trying to calm down the lust and adrenaline running rampant in his system.
“Yeah, that’d be nice.” As opposed to carrying you this time, Yaku flanks to your empty side, helping you walk between him and Noya until you came upon your next victim. This one was larger than the last few—stocky and skin marred with stories of a brutal past. No matter which way you looked at him, he looked bitter, and after asking him what he was in for, you figure he was a perfect candidate. After all, intentionally murdering his wife and three children was heinous by definition. Yaku approaches the much taller man, crouching ever so slightly in the event your meal tried to escape; not that he could even if he wanted to. The leader of the Damned was behind him in seconds, snapping his neck to disarm the threat that was his build.
To everyone’s surprise, you made your way over slowly to the now lifeless, six-foot-three prisoner while Yaku punctured holes on both sides of the victim’s neck, allowing the both of you to feed. It was oddly intimate, being so close to someone while sucking the literal life out of somebody. The lapping, sucking noises brought back salacious thoughts to the man beside you, and he’s doing all that he can just to avoid trading sustenance for an erection again. Meanwhile, Noya is watching both of you in amusement. Does his partner realize that he’s gingerly scraping his claws along your spine? Is it out of encouragement, or interest? Yu can’t quite tell, but he finds it entertaining nonetheless. Even more so when Yaku squirms at the throaty moan leaving your lungs when you pull away, lips plump with a bead of leftovers dripping from the seam of you mouth.
Either way, Nishinoya knows it won’t be long now until Yaku cracks. Despite the great amount of self-control he tends to exercise, Yaku is but a simple creature that cannot stave off his desires and Noya is no different. They were going to give way to their desires sooner rather than later, but they made a vow eons ago that revenge must always come first.
One year, three months, one week, and four days. That was how long it had been since you died in the alleyway. Today was the day those boys were going to die for what they did.
By now, you were fully functioning; walking on your own, feeding on your own. The only difference between you and the others was that you still slept, though not very much anymore, and according to Akaashi, it would be a trait that you would grow out of maybe two decades after your first century. That was actually the sole reason there was even a bed in the house—Nishinoya still slept merely because he enjoyed it. He wasn’t like the others who had found a passion project that kept him up around the clock, so more often than not, he would join you in bed. After all, it was originally his bed.
And more often than not, Yaku would sit in the spacious window sill while Noya wrapped his arms around you protectively in your shared slumber, as if to abide by the repeated mantra he had said over the last year—he’ll be there when you wake.
Your dreams are no longer memories, as you’ve got caught up to current events thanks to the playback speed that they paced themselves at. Now, you’re able to recall on every single event of your life that you’ve witnessed thus far with perfect detail—including the faces of your five murderers. Each of them belonged to your university Pike fraternity; two of them were a year older than you, two the same age, and the one who had the knife to your neck was a freshman not yet old enough to drink legally, but apparently old enough to to pull the metaphorical trigger and throw the knife that had gone through your entire body, severing your aorta in your heart.
After researching in the form of disguise, you learned that tonight Pi Kappa Epsilon would be holding their annual holiday gala; fancy words for a giant frat party for those who chose not to return to their hometowns for Christmas. Knowing how these events tend to function—it was relatively easy to sneak in, even with Nishinoya and Yaku flanking your sides. You flashed the doorman a crisp fifty, knowing males always had to pay a fee for entry while women always got in for free. The bouncer grins upon seeing you in a tight, red body-con dress, but the grin is immediately displaced when his eyes land on the two men beside you. Giving your best, most flirtatious smile, you grab both of their wrists before heading inside. “Don’t lose me, okay?” You yell over the pounding music.
“We won’t,” they say in unison. Noya gives you a reassuring smile, hand pressed against Yaku’s back gently, while the latter purses his lips together in discomfort. “Just keep talking to me through here,” he adds, pressing his cold lips to your forehead chastely, “and I’ll find you.” You give him a confident nod before you throw yourself into the throng of people to find your targets. It proved a bit of a challenge, considering the strobe lighting and the myriad of people—all of the men looked the same on top of that. But once your eyes narrowed in on the man you first lured you, it was game over.
Like a tiger ready to pounce, you sauntered over to him, pushing aside whomever he was with at the moment before wrapping your arms lewdly around his neck. He looks down at you skeptically, but otherwise pleased with the bold actions. From a short distance away, Yaku and Noya are hiding like wallflowers, listening to the resounding chant happening in your head that screamed to kill him. “You know,” Noya chimes in lowly, distracting Yaku from the way your hips are grinding and gyrating against the strange man’s, “we could just kill the entire fraternity.” Yaku shakes his head—Noya was always fond of the idea of revenge against all who were guilty by association. While the others in the clan gave into his persuasion, Yaku never found it amusing.
“What if they had no idea that their brother killed someone?”
“They probably bragged about it,” Noya grumbles. From his own experience, the shorter of the two liked to think that he knew how these people tended to operate.
“It’s go time.” Yaku says abruptly, eyes locked onto your retreating form as you pull one of your rapists by the tie and lead him out the frat house. The two Damned maneuver their way towards the quietest space, hunting for a window they can exit out of to follow you without garnering too much attention towards the situation. When they end up on the sidewalk outside of the Pike house, they see you parading—brokenly, complete with fake stumbles to allude to you being drugged again—the man by the tie until he shoves you into the same alleyway.
Close behind were four others, all built and stocky as they traveled in their pack and making their way towards the alley. You were cornered amongst trash and dead rats, the five of them trying to zero in on you, yet you showed no fear. Instead, you stood at full height with the addition of your stilettos, as your body transitioned into it’s more predatory form. “Remember me?” You ask sweetly, cracking your knuckles nonchalantly. Your hair that’s covering the ugly mound of flesh scarred over from your injury is swept over the opposite shoulder, giving them full view as your short, blackened claws graze over the skin. “Over a year ago, the five of you brought a woman to this alley, raped her and you,” a feral snarl leaves your lips as you point to the youngest fraternity brother, “threw a knife into her back that went all the way through her heart and killed her.”
The five of them begin looking over at each other, wondering who ratted out who considering they had never spoken of the night since it occurred. It was easy to avoid, considering the body was never found. There was never any evidence. “W-who are you?” The youngest one squawks out.
“Don’t remember?” Your head snaps in the direction to one of the older members. “I should have bit your dick off when I had the chance.” There’s no more room for talking, no room for rebuttal. Instead, you grab the same man you lured into the alley by the tie, bringing him close enough to snap his neck. When he was neither moving nor breathing, the remaining four began to back up.
“Yo, this bitch is crazy, let’s get out of here—“
“You think you’re just gonna get away?” Noya laughs dryly as it crescendoed into full volume, shaking the walls and mimicking an earthquake that did not expand beyond the walls of the alley. The remaining four fall to the ground, not prepared for such loud noises let alone a trembling earth to accompany the sound. Yaku shakes his head in utter disgust before the crimson ring in his eyes locks with the prey.
“Done eating, love?” He calls out, causing the four other frat boys to look over in horror at the “e” word. Once again, you’re standing at full height, the back of your hand wiping away the blood that had escaped from your mouth from your feeding.
“Not quite yet,” With every step you took, they trembled back, only to be met with your two saviors blocking their only exit. The youngest one is hiding all the way in the back, trepidation causing his bones to rattle within his skin as his back hits Yaku’s calf. “I’m still hungry.” Noya lets out a snort at this—he truly did love your sense of humor.
“You’re next.” Yaku looks down at the young boy, only nineteen-years-old, who had been your executioner. That same boy looks at the leader of the clan in horror, eyes wide because he never in a million years saw this as his end. Effortlessly, Yaku picks him up by the collar of his shirt before tossing him in your direction. Rather than catching him, you gathered your claws together to form a single point, driving the makeshift lance through the stomach of the one who had ended your life. Without verbalizing it, you gave the boys permission to feed on the other two—so long as it wasn’t the one that you had tried to bite down on when he rammed his cock in your mouth.
You had plans for him.
In the mean time, you pull the now lifeless body off of your bloodied hand, drinking down whatever was dripping down your arm before tossing him off to the side; you had one more pressing matter to deal with. The last of the boys—the dessert to your meal was pressed against the wall as he tried to run from this situation, watching in mortification as Yaku and Noya beheaded the other two brothers with their bare hands, feasting on their prey. “Like I said,” you sneered as you approached the last one, ripping off his pants and boxers much like he had when he violated your mouth. “I should have bit your dick off when I had the chance.”
And so you did.
“Remind me to never get on your bad side,” Yaku muses, having finished his meal, gawking at the way you had just left the last one along the wall with his penis bitten off all the way down to the base while you returned to the youngest member again, draining your murderer for all he was worth.
“I dunno, it’s kinda hot, babe.” Noya jokes, watching in amusement as well.
“I’m actually kinda full,” You shrug, having drained the stabber entirely—that put your body count to two full bodies. “D’you guys wanna have the last one? I got all I wanted from him.” At sound of your permission, Yaku approaches the last one with a predatory glare, not daring to break eye contact as he asked you one more question.
“[ name ], do you feel that justice been served?” With a nonplussed grimace, you gave a shrug.
“If anything, these assholes got the short end of the stick. They murder a girl they raped so she comes back from the dead and kills them all with two beautiful men by her side? Yeah, I’m happy with that.”
By the time you returned home, you were an entirely different creature. You felt...free. Like there was nothing else anchoring your dead heart, like you no longer had a tether to this world. Like you had no purpose.
So now what?
Silently you meander back to your shared bedroom to further contemplate your existence, the boys you left behind glancing at each other in concern. “Want me to talk to her? I might be able to better sympathize.” Noya asks quietly so that your now heightened hearing can’t quite pick up on the conversation. Regardless, Yaku shakes his head. He knows exactly what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling and not just because of his ability to read minds.
“I’ve got a few things I want to say to her anyway.” Noya presses a tender kiss to his mates cheek before he flits away to hang out with Daichi as he normally does when he’s not with Yaku, while the head of the clan makes his way to the room. You’re lying in bed already, the dress and stilettos shed and traded for bare feet and a slip. Despite your back turned towards him, you feel the bed dip as he lays beside you, something atypical of Yaku. “How do you feel?” His voice is merely a whisper as he cautiously wraps an arm around your waist.
“Shouldn’t you know the answer?” You retort, but Yaku doesn’t recoil because he knows. He knows the sort of limbo you feel you’re placed in now that your postmortem mission had been carried out. What were you supposed to do for the rest of eternity besides act as an impromptu executioner, feeding off of the worst criminals within a hundred mile radius?
“Is that all you see us as?”
“No,” You say quietly. These Damned men had accomplished great things, from what you knew of them, in their lifetimes. Sugawara has continued composing even well after his other alias’ deaths, Akaashi has been working on a research piece for decades regarding cancer in the form of preventative measures rather than a cure, in addition to a cure. Daichi had participated in the Olympics a number of times, Yaku was once a politician in multiple countries and Nishinoya had worked closely with electronic developers over the years including Microsoft and Linux. “You guys have accomplished so much in your lifetimes, I just don’t want to be some sort of disappointment—“
“[ name ], we never knew were going to do those things. We just kept pushing on, finding out things we were passionate about and since we have unlimited time, we’ve had time to hone and perfect those skills.”
“What if I never do anything that great?” Yaku lets out a sigh, turning your now fully restored body around to face him and pressing his face into your neck. Over the duration of your rehabilitation process, he’d become so over protective of you, wanting what’s best for you in any capacity yet never fully being honest with himself.
“You have time to figure it out,” he mumbles into your own icy skin, lips tickling your veins. “Until then, just stay? With me?”
“Yaku...” he had never fully outright asked you to stay—only alluding to it in the past with talks of the future.
“I-I want you,” he whispers almost uncharacteristically. Being a diplomat, stuttering was not a thing that Yaku did very often. “To stay with us forever. To stay with me forever.” This is it, he figures. It’s now or never. Yaku can’t stand the idea of you leaving the clan, leaving him when he hadn’t yet had a taste of you, had you in any other form than a few mere kisses for feeding or in fantasies. Pulling away, Yaku shifts once again so that his arms are holding his weight above you, his lips ghosting intimately over yours.
Both of you are overly aware of the attraction that’s there—you knew of the daydreams you’d had of him throughout the year and with his ability, he was unwillingly subjected to them. Reaching up slightly, your lips press against his hungrily, your tongue immediately dancing along the seam of his lips, begging for permission to enter. Yaku doesn’t waste a second dropping the support from his arms in favor to press his body fully into yours because he’s been waiting for this moment. It’s evident in his fervent kiss, it’s evident in his ever present erection. A mewl warbles in your throat as you feel him grind against you.
Why the hell had you waited so long for this? Why did he wait so long for this?
There was no more waiting.
Breaking a part for a moment, you pull the slip off your torso hastily while Yaku unbuckles his belt and frees his lower half. Impatience floods you as you tear off the thin Henley he’s wearing, leaving the two of you entirely bare in front of each other. The large scar on your bosom that had made you self conscious for months suddenly felt dull in comparison as you’re met with the varying marks that marred Yaku’s skin. From what you could tell, they looked like whiplashes. “I need you now,” he pleads, ignoring your wandering thoughts as he hungrily pulls you in for another kiss. Though rather short lived, your overwhelmed with warmth and pulsing in your core as his fangs run along your neck before sucking lovingly at your collarbone.
“O-oh,” you moan out wantonly, clutching at his shoulders to keep yourself steady. With no preparation, not that you needed any, Yaku slowly sheaths his member inside of you, the girth stretching you deliciously. For a moment, the two of you remain still to bask in the reprieve you both felt, unaware of the third party member watching pleased in the lounge chair across from the bed. “Fuck,” you hiss out between your teeth as he’s pushing in inch after inch.
“You’re doing so good, princess,” for a moment, he’s impressed—taking eleven inches with little to no preparation can be torturous, and he knew that from experience. “Come on, baby take the last of it—oh fuck yeah,” Yaku groans out as soon as he’s balls deep within you. The two of you are still, enjoying the moment of togetherness before he bottoms out entirely in your sweet little hole. His hips move almost languidly so as not to hurt you but good lord for all that is unholy, is he holding back.
Soft whimpers leave your lungs each time his hips snap back into yours—why the hell hadn’t you fucked Yaku sooner?! A throaty chuckle grumbles in his chest at the thought. Even with him slamming his cock in you at half-force, his mind is intertwined with yours to the point where your thoughts feel like his own. “I had to take care of you princess, wanted to make sure you could handle me fucking you.”
“Then fuck me harder, ass-hat.”
“He likes it better when you call him senpai.” Nishinoya calls out from the opposite corner of the room, as if he wasn’t just leisurely watching his partner ream himself into your core. You let out a scream and at this point, you aren’t sure if it’s because Yaku have a particularly hard thrust with the head of his dick meeting with the edge of your womb or if Nishinoya’s presence surprised you. Even more so to see that he was stark naked, stroking his cock that he’s presenting to your mouth.
“Suck off your senpai, princess.” Yaku whispers devilishly in your ear, holding his cock still within you as he does so. Tentatively, you give a kitten lick to the head before you, testing out Nishinoya’s reaction to the motion before deeming him worthy. A soft grunt escapes him, his body more than welcoming of the sensation—but it just wasn’t enough for you.
“I need a better reaction than that, Nishi,” You joke.
A poor plan on your part.
The shorter of the two looks down at you curiously, a wicked twist of his lip displayed for you as he briefly tosses an amused look towards Yaku, to which the latter lets out a chuckle in addition to the shake of his head before he starts to withdraw his cock from within you. “How’s this for reaction?” Noya chirps before deftly wrapping his claws in your hair, slamming his engorged member down your throat while Yaku simultaneously thrusts back inside you. The carnal desires that had run rampant through your mind on occasion had built to this moment, built up the needy desire that the boys finally had the chance to release with you. “Yeah, you take that cock in your throat, baby. Show us how much you’ve wanted us from the start.”
Nishinoya is absolutely relentless as he repeatedly withdraws and replaces his erection in your mouth, pulling so far back as to have his tip tease and smear pre-cum along your lips, all the while chanting praise and how much he loves you; how much he’s dreamed of having you between him and Yaku. The latter can’t help the stuttering motion of his hips as he unabashedly strokes his member along your walls, the tip of dick all but moving into your womb. “Yeah, princess, take your senpais cocks so fucking good, yeah? You want us to fill all your holes with our fucking cum, don’t you?” You can only wail out around Nishinoya in your mouth in response, clenching and squeezing your pussy tightly around Yaku inside you. The clan head lets out a very audible groan at the abrupt friction. “Oh, fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, senpai’s gonna cum so fucking hard inside you, yeah yeah yeah.” Yaku is absolutely wrecking and ravaging your lower half while all the foul, salacious words leaving him were only serving to turn on his partner even more until the both of them hold still to empty their first loads inside you.
After a momentary reprieve, the two of them withdraw from you, the smallest whine leaving your lips at the distinct emptiness. Between pants, both of the males look to each other before letting out a laugh. “Princess,” Noya calls out from your left, golden eyes light and airy as they gaze at you, “did you think we were going to let you cum?”
“Y-yes?” Why wouldn’t they? Wasn’t that just normal, sex etiquette between partners?
“Oh no, love,” Yaku adds, “We’re gonna show you just how much we love you, gotta coat every inch of your skin in our fluids before you can even think about cumming.” Before you can blink, the boys are up again with Nishinoya taking his position with the tip of his still hardened member teasing the outer lips of your pussy. Meanwhile, Yaku makes it a point to slap your cheek with his own erection, making sure to keep your attention and focus on him. Simultaneously, they thrust into their respective orifices that they’ve traded—Yaku treating you much more delicately versus Noya who shoves his entire mast inside your depths.
“Oh damn, babe, you’re so fucking tight!” The latter howls, throwing his head back in ecstasy. Despite having identical lengths, Nishinoya was much more rough and rigid, your walls acclimating to every vein out of necessity before relentlessly pounding away at your insides. At his pace, your pussy doesn’t even have a chance to miss the feeling of fullness. Your voice is no longer coming out in moans or screams due to the damning pace—only in a broken staccato of warbles from the speed that Noya’s fucking you. “Yeah, baby? Gonna stay here with us forever and get dicked down every night? You’d like that wouldn’t you?”
But with the almost tender, loving way Yaku is holding your throat while repeatedly sliding his cock in from tip to base, there is no actual way you can reply. Instead, you let out grunts and cries of affirmation because you would stupid not to welcome the way these two were screwing you. It’s also more than just that.
These two, as well as the rest of the brood, had taken you in being inches from death, presented you with another opportunity for life that served as an opportunity for you to seek revenge, while caring for you and almost...loving you.
“We do,” Yaku bites, withdrawing his cock from your lips offended at the thought of almost, “love you, that is.” The hand that is cupping your throat moves to brush the backs of his claws along your jaw before pulling your chin and torso up so that Yaku can kiss you fully. There is no lust or wanton desire in this kiss—it’s love through and through that is simultaneously cold yet warm.
“You’ve been dreaming about us for a long time, princess,” Noya grits out, his peak approaching all too quickly with the way you’re clenching around him with no relief. He’s panting heavily, no longer caring about his need to assert his dominance in any capacity; all he can think about is cumming deep inside you while you cum around his thick cock. “We want to make your dreams come true.”
Yaku pulls away from the kiss in time to hear your cries—a delicacy he had never had the pleasure of knowing in a past life—as you cum with Noya. The latter is holding still for a brief moment before withdrawing, his spent body collapsing beside you. You’re sensitive, you realize, as Yaku slides back in to reclaim his space. Your walls are still trembling in the aftermath of your orgasm, but Yaku is much more gentle this time around. Pressing his body flush against yours, he wraps both his arms around you with one cradling your head, the other around your lower back to pull you as close as possible. His shallow moving thrusts in accompaniment to his pulsing girth are enough to trigger yet another orgasm in direct succession, and coercing his own orgasm. “Please stay, [ name ].” He mumbles into your hair as he feels his seed spurting within you. Though you supply no answer due to trying to catch your breath, you only nod in response. Yaku remains still inside you, so as if to seal both his and his partner’s emission within you with his own softening cock, smiling at the simple fact that you had nodded in response. “Get some rest, little one,” He adds, adjusting so that he’s on the opposite side of you and a now sleeping Noya. “We’ll be here when you wake.”
#haikyuu took over my life#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu scenario#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu!!#vampire!au#supernatural!au#vampire!Yaku#vampire!Noya#vampire!reader#vampire!Daichi#vampire!Akaashi#vampire!Sugawara#yaku morisuke#yaku x reader#i love yaku#hq yaku#haikyuu yaku#happy birthday Yaku#nishinoya yuu#nishinoya imagine#nishinoya x reader#nishinoya scenarios#implied Daichi x Sugawara#haikyu
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BnHA Chapter 268: Please Don’t Tap on the Glass
Previously on BnHA: Dabi revealed his true identity to Hawks! His real name is actually [sound of semi truck horns blaring]. What’s that? You didn’t hear me? I said it’s [sound of dolphins chattering]. You really need to listen better. Anyway, so Dabi set Hawks on fire a bunch of times, and Hawks had some flashbacks indicating that Endeavor saved him when he was a small child, and just when it was starting to look like we might get our second tragic death chapter in a row, Tokoyami showed up to defend his mentor! Meanwhile in Jakku, Miruko remembered that even though kicking ass is fun and she’s really good at it, she still had a job to do, so she sped off toward Ujiko’s little hideaway, getting stabbed and impaled a bunch of times along the way and losing an ear and shit (I very much look forward to the cyberpunk robot-limbed Miruko 2.0 that we had better fucking get once this arc is over). Fortunately Endeavor showed up to help her out! Anyway, so absolutely no one was talking about this last week, but the chapter totally ended with Miruko about to bust open Tomura’s bacta tank with a badass roundhouse kick, so, uh. Shit might be about to go down you guys.
Today on BnHA: Shit does indeed go down, but at a very languid pace. Ujiko apparently built Tomura’s holding tank out of Nokia phones and kevlar, so even though Miruko gets a few good kicks in, she ultimately doesn’t do more than just crack it. So now the tank is just standing there leaking ominously while Ujiko sobs for no reason and we all ponder whether or not a 75%-charged Tomura will be any less doom-harbinging than the full-fledged deal. In the meantime we’ve got Girl Noumu thinking strategic thoughts and chucking acid at peeps; Crust still doing absolutely nothing; Endeavor not doing that much better to be honest; and Mic and Aizawa ready and raring to go kill the old man who turned their dead buddy into a sentient Einstein-Rosen bridge. Obviously I’m all in favor of this last bit, but I’m also on team “Mic and Aizawa not dying horribly” though, so. I do have some concerns here.
full disclosure, I’m very sleep-deprived for various reasons related to various things which can be broadly summed up as Just 2020 In General. so anyway, I’m dealing with it, but I’ve noticed that my rate of typos and errors and such has shot waaaaay up in this past week or so, so I’m just putting that out there that you may find some weird shit in this post! maybe I will write the same sentence maybe I will write the same sentence multiple times, or or the same word twice in a row by mistake, or use the completely wrong word. you are more than welcome to point this out and I will not take any offense and will indeed be grateful because I’ve apparently gone blind to it all! anyway so how are you I hope everyone is well
anyway! the chapter is early (god for all I know it’s been out for hours already. HOW FAR BEHIND AM I) so I’m recapping it early so that I will have more time to play Animal Crossing and fish and craft all of my troubles away. speaking of which Horikoshi, you had better not bring me any troubles this week, I am not in the mood do you hear
good fucking lord
is all of that Miruko’s blood??!? god, she’s even better at bleeding than everyone else. now hold up all you excited vampires, you all can get in line, I was here first
by the way Endeavor, I gave you a pass last week because your entrance was so fucking raw and you saved my girl’s life and that was really neat my man. but now that I’ve recovered from my shock and awe and am ready to be sarcastic once more, I just want to say... welcome to the party, guy. did you stop for drive-thru on your commute from the other side of the planet. were you simply not immune to the bizarre 5th dimensional time-stands-still effects of March 2020. are you curious at all how your son has changed during these past 20 years, and by “son” I am referring not to Dabi, but Shouto. are you looking forward to meeting all of Shouto’s children. are you excited to be a granddad. anyway thank you so fucking much for finally making your way down to this lair with all the speed and haste of a federal appeals process
and I see Crust is still fighting this guy after six decades
(ETA: I would be more upset about the scan quality here, but let’s face it, nobody actually cares about seeing this in HD. I’m sorry Crust.)
and we’re really expected to believe this is the very next ranked hero below Miruko. could it be that the hero ranking system is actually flawed. don’t tell me. I’m just as shocked as you are
seriously??
are we really going to stop and chat with Geriatric Hero: Crust over here. really. far be it from me to tell you how to do your job, Number One. but I’m just saying, I’m pretty sure he does still have... let’s just check... one... two... yep, two arms. not that I’m saying your system for prioritizing which of your fellow heroes to help out should be based off of the number of arms they have. but also I am saying that
OH SONNY BOY
is that a two-page panel of Aizawa Hatake Kakashi Shouta and his loyal husband Screaming Man leaping into the fray to take on some high end Noumus with their bad and sexy selves. I think that’s exactly what it is. are we blessed or are we blessed. Aizawa I’m pleased to see you haven’t aged a day and are looking just as fine as ever in this the year 2045
oh wow Endeavor I thought you had incinerated it
why wouldn’t you incinerate it. please incinerate it. did you not learn your lesson. please don’t start taking your cues from Dilly Dally Hero: Crust over here
oh wow
and yet Miruko was kicking all of their asses like they were made of plywood. really though guys. only number five. okay
Aizawa’s shouting that he wasn’t able to erase that last Noumu who was impaling Miruko because his vision was obstructed. that’s okay Aizawa, that’s why Endeavor is hopefully about to incinerate him
oh snap here we go
again, one has to wonder what kinds of interactions with rabbits Horikoshi has had in his troubled young life so as to influence his writing of Miruko’s quirk in such a way. did you at some point get rabbits confused with... I don’t even know. polar bears?! not that I’m fucking complaining holy shit
anyway, so just a friendly reminder that if Miruko dies here I will in fact push the button which triggers the hidden ejector seat built into Horikoshi’s office chair. he will be missed. but he had a good run
ho lyyyyyyy shit
so... Miruko I love you but... then why would you break the fucking vat apart with your moon-powered legs. Miruko. Miruko are you listening. oh shit she’s missing an ear I forgot. oh shit. oh shit
MIRUKO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU JUST KICK THE BALD MAN IN THE LAB COAT INSTEAD goddammit well it’s been nice knowing y’all
well then. so this is happening. this is really happening. at least she saved us all from having to face the 100%-charged world-ending Tomura somewhere down the line. instead all we have to do is face the 74%-charged Tomura right fucking now. so that’s. ...I wonder how Tokoyami is doing
holy shit!
leave it to Girl Noumu to be the smart one. for a minute I thought maybe Ujiko had given her Ragdoll’s long-lost quirk. but then I realized that this isn’t a quirk at all, this is just her being smart and using her Big Noumu Brain. anyway so I’m preemptively sorry for having to root against you, Girl Noumu
so now she’s pondering how to disable Aizawa’s quirk. meanwhile I just remembered that we haven’t seen her quirk yet I think. please let it be something good
oh snap she ran away and made it out of Aizawa’s sight range oh fuck
the fuck is up with this thicc fucking Girl Noumu page I can’t tell wtf is going on
LOL OH SHIT
NOT TO WORRY GUYS SHE’S JUST SHOOTING BIG GIANT GLOBS OF ACID AT EVERYONE. can anyone tell if Endeavor has incinerated this Noumu yet down in the middle panel on the left. what is the fucking holdup
and now there’s a big double page of Miruko shattering Tomura’s Noumu Vat, and I can’t quite tell, but it looks like her eyes might be rolling back in a way which I decidedly do not like
(ETA: nah on closer inspection we’re good.)
didn’t she just do this like four pages ago. and how the hell did Tomura suddenly jump from 74% to 75% in like .2 seconds
oh thank god she’s still awake. but now she’s being dragged back now by the Noumu’s bone appendage things because Endeavor SERIOUSLY CANNOT GET HIS FUCKING ACT TOGETHER LONG ENOUGH TO FUCKING LIGHT ITS BRAIN TO ASHES ALREADY, LIKE SERIOUSLY THOUGH. WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OF THAT TALK ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING FAST AND THE DIFFERENCE A SPLIT SECOND MAKES
Miruko if we make it out of this alive, I’m promoting you to number one. Fatgum will be number two. the only two pro heroes in this arc who have actually impressed me at all. shame on the rest of you. shame
so now somehow or some way Miruko is being flung into Endeavor at the speed of light
I don’t understand this at all. did the Noumu retract those bone whips back into its body superfast while dragging Miruko back with them and somehow it managed to avoid being hit by her projectile body but Endeavor took the impact straight on. this doesn’t make any kind of sense to me with my admittedly rudimentary understanding of physics. but then again it is a fucking manga so I’m not about to call NASA and ask them if this could really happen. so this was a waste of a paragraph I guess!! my bad!!
swear to god this is like the fifth panel of Ujiko just screaming. please just stop. what do you have to be worried about anyway? although if Tomura suddenly went crazy upon awakening and just straight up killed you for no reason, that sure would be delightful! that wouldn’t happen, though. or would it
WHAT IS THIS FUCKING FISH TANK MADE OF
IS THIS A TUBE OF GLASS OR A FUCKING FALLOUT SHELTER
ENDEAVOR I’M GLAD YOU’RE CONCERNED ABOUT MIRUKO BECAUSE I AM TOO, AND ALSO IT’S ALWAYS NICE TO SEE THAT YOU DO HAVE A HEART, BUT ALSO MAYBE JUST LEAVE HER FOR NOW THOUGH, SERIOUSLY??
though on the other hand it’s already too late to stop this inevitable tide, so maybe at this point they should all just get the fuck out of there instead. at least Miruko did her fucking job and saved you all from having to face the invincible unstoppable version. that’ll be a real comfort to everyone when he’s out laying waste to the countryside, I’m sure. but still
-- oh no
the boys heard that. listen you guys, I want Ujiko to die as much as anyone, but I’m gonna need you to not go anywhere near Shigaraki fucking Tomura now or ever. please. do you hear me?? you two still have both of your ears goddammit I want some acknowledgement
-- NO!!!
(ETA: is that. a fucking Tomura dialogue bubble. something stirs in the east. a sleepless malice. the eyes of the enemy are moving.)
THE MANGA GIVETH AND THE MANGA TAKETH AWAY nooooo from 20 pages last week back down to the usual 17. I got spoiled. I expected too much. sob
so now we settle in to wait two weeks to see if Mic’s piercing tones can shatter this fucking adamantium tank like a wine glass. I’m not sure I’m ready for the Noumuraki Tomuracalpse you guys. then again by this point I’m braced for just about anything though so bring it
#bnha 268#miruko#mirko#I finally caved and did it both ways#endeavor#aizawa shouta#present mic#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste spoiler recap#makeste reads bnha#happy easter everyone#don't mention it to horikoshi though#he's terrified of rabbits as we all know#they are vicious and unstoppable#so please treat them with respect
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Who Is Making Sure the A.I. Machines Aren’t Racist? Hundreds of people gathered for the first lecture at what had become the world’s most important conference on artificial intelligence — row after row of faces. Some were East Asian, a few were Indian, and a few were women. But the vast majority were white men. More than 5,500 people attended the meeting, five years ago in Barcelona, Spain. Timnit Gebru, then a graduate student at Stanford University, remembers counting only six Black people other than herself, all of whom she knew, all of whom were men. The homogeneous crowd crystallized for her a glaring issue. The big thinkers of tech say A.I. is the future. It will underpin everything from search engines and email to the software that drives our cars, directs the policing of our streets and helps create our vaccines. But it is being built in a way that replicates the biases of the almost entirely male, predominantly white work force making it. In the nearly 10 years I’ve written about artificial intelligence, two things have remained a constant: The technology relentlessly improves in fits and sudden, great leaps forward. And bias is a thread that subtly weaves through that work in a way that tech companies are reluctant to acknowledge. On her first night home in Menlo Park, Calif., after the Barcelona conference, sitting cross-legged on the couch with her laptop, Dr. Gebru described the A.I. work force conundrum in a Facebook post. “I’m not worried about machines taking over the world. I’m worried about groupthink, insularity and arrogance in the A.I. community — especially with the current hype and demand for people in the field,” she wrote. “The people creating the technology are a big part of the system. If many are actively excluded from its creation, this technology will benefit a few while harming a great many.” The A.I. community buzzed about the mini-manifesto. Soon after, Dr. Gebru helped create a new organization, Black in A.I. After finishing her Ph.D., she was hired by Google. She teamed with Margaret Mitchell, who was building a group inside Google dedicated to “ethical A.I.” Dr. Mitchell had previously worked in the research lab at Microsoft. She had grabbed attention when she told Bloomberg News in 2016 that A.I. suffered from a “sea of dudes” problem. She estimated that she had worked with hundreds of men over the previous five years and about 10 women. Their work was hailed as groundbreaking. The nascent A.I. industry, it had become clear, needed minders and people with different perspectives. About six years ago, A.I. in a Google online photo service organized photos of Black people into a folder called “gorillas.” Four years ago, a researcher at a New York start-up noticed that the A.I. system she was working on was egregiously biased against Black people. Not long after, a Black researcher in Boston discovered that an A.I. system couldn’t identify her face — until she put on a white mask. In 2018, when I told Google’s public relations staff that I was working on a book about artificial intelligence, it arranged a long talk with Dr. Mitchell to discuss her work. As she described how she built the company’s Ethical A.I. team — and brought Dr. Gebru into the fold — it was refreshing to hear from someone so closely focused on the bias problem. But nearly three years later, Dr. Gebru was pushed out of the company without a clear explanation. She said she had been fired after criticizing Google’s approach to minority hiring and, with a research paper, highlighting the harmful biases in the A.I. systems that underpin Google’s search engine and other services. “Your life starts getting worse when you start advocating for underrepresented people,” Dr. Gebru said in an email before her firing. “You start making the other leaders upset.” As Dr. Mitchell defended Dr. Gebru, the company removed her, too. She had searched through her own Google email account for material that would support their position and forwarded emails to another account, which somehow got her into trouble. Google declined to comment for this article. Their departure became a point of contention for A.I. researchers and other tech workers. Some saw a giant company no longer willing to listen, too eager to get technology out the door without considering its implications. I saw an old problem — part technological and part sociological — finally breaking into the open. It should have been a wake-up call. In June 2015, a friend sent Jacky Alciné, a 22-year-old software engineer living in Brooklyn, an internet link for snapshots the friend had posted to the new Google Photos service. Google Photos could analyze snapshots and automatically sort them into digital folders based on what was pictured. One folder might be “dogs,” another “birthday party.” When Mr. Alciné clicked on the link, he noticed one of the folders was labeled “gorillas.” That made no sense to him, so he opened the folder. He found more than 80 photos he had taken nearly a year earlier of a friend during a concert in nearby Prospect Park. That friend was Black. He might have let it go if Google had mistakenly tagged just one photo. But 80? He posted a screenshot on Twitter. “Google Photos, y’all,” messed up, he wrote, using much saltier language. “My friend is not a gorilla.” Like facial recognition services, talking digital assistants and conversational “chatbots,” Google Photos relied on an A.I. system that learned its skills by analyzing enormous amounts of digital data. Called a “neural network,” this mathematical system could learn tasks that engineers could never code into a machine on their own. By analyzing thousands of photos of gorillas, it could learn to recognize a gorilla. It was also capable of egregious mistakes. The onus was on engineers to choose the right data when training these mathematical systems. (In this case, the easiest fix was to eliminate “gorilla” as a photo category.) As a software engineer, Mr. Alciné understood the problem. He compared it to making lasagna. “If you mess up the lasagna ingredients early, the whole thing is ruined,” he said. “It is the same thing with A.I. You have to be very intentional about what you put into it. Otherwise, it is very difficult to undo.” The Porn Problem In 2017, Deborah Raji, a 21-year-old Black woman from Ottawa, sat at a desk inside the New York offices of Clarifai, the start-up where she was working. The company built technology that could automatically recognize objects in digital images and planned to sell it to businesses, police departments and government agencies. She stared at a screen filled with faces — images the company used to train its facial recognition software. As she scrolled through page after page of these faces, she realized that most — more than 80 percent — were of white people. More than 70 percent of those white people were male. When Clarifai trained its system on this data, it might do a decent job of recognizing white people, Ms. Raji thought, but it would fail miserably with people of color, and probably women, too. Clarifai was also building a “content moderation system,” a tool that could automatically identify and remove pornography from images people posted to social networks. The company trained this system on two sets of data: thousands of photos pulled from online pornography sites, and thousands of G‑rated images bought from stock photo services. The system was supposed to learn the difference between the pornographic and the anodyne. The problem was that the G‑rated images were dominated by white people, and the pornography was not. The system was learning to identify Black people as pornographic. “The data we use to train these systems matters,” Ms. Raji said. “We can’t just blindly pick our sources.” This was obvious to her, but to the rest of the company it was not. Because the people choosing the training data were mostly white men, they didn’t realize their data was biased. “The issue of bias in facial recognition technologies is an evolving and important topic,” Clarifai’s chief executive, Matt Zeiler, said in a statement. Measuring bias, he said, “is an important step.” ‘Black Skin, White Masks’ Before joining Google, Dr. Gebru collaborated on a study with a young computer scientist, Joy Buolamwini. A graduate student at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Ms. Buolamwini, who is Black, came from a family of academics. Her grandfather specialized in medicinal chemistry, and so did her father. She gravitated toward facial recognition technology. Other researchers believed it was reaching maturity, but when she used it, she knew it wasn’t. In October 2016, a friend invited her for a night out in Boston with several other women. “We’ll do masks,” the friend said. Her friend meant skin care masks at a spa, but Ms. Buolamwini assumed Halloween masks. So she carried a white plastic Halloween mask to her office that morning. It was still sitting on her desk a few days later as she struggled to finish a project for one of her classes. She was trying to get a detection system to track her face. No matter what she did, she couldn’t quite get it to work. In her frustration, she picked up the white mask from her desk and pulled it over her head. Before it was all the way on, the system recognized her face — or, at least, it recognized the mask. “Black Skin, White Masks,” she said in an interview, nodding to the 1952 critique of historical racism from the psychiatrist Frantz Fanon. “The metaphor becomes the truth. You have to fit a norm, and that norm is not you.” Ms. Buolamwini started exploring commercial services designed to analyze faces and identify characteristics like age and sex, including tools from Microsoft and IBM. She found that when the services read photos of lighter-skinned men, they misidentified sex about 1 percent of the time. But the darker the skin in the photo, the larger the error rate. It rose particularly high with images of women with dark skin. Microsoft’s error rate was about 21 percent. IBM’s was 35. Published in the winter of 2018, the study drove a backlash against facial recognition technology and, particularly, its use in law enforcement. Microsoft’s chief legal officer said the company had turned down sales to law enforcement when there was concern the technology could unreasonably infringe on people’s rights, and he made a public call for government regulation. Twelve months later, Microsoft backed a bill in Washington State that would require notices to be posted in public places using facial recognition and ensure that government agencies obtained a court order when looking for specific people. The bill passed, and it takes effect later this year. The company, which did not respond to a request for comment for this article, did not back other legislation that would have provided stronger protections. Ms. Buolamwini began to collaborate with Ms. Raji, who moved to M.I.T. They started testing facial recognition technology from a third American tech giant: Amazon. The company had started to market its technology to police departments and government agencies under the name Amazon Rekognition. Ms. Buolamwini and Ms. Raji published a study showing that an Amazon face service also had trouble identifying the sex of female and darker-skinned faces. According to the study, the service mistook women for men 19 percent of the time and misidentified darker-skinned women for men 31 percent of the time. For lighter-skinned males, the error rate was zero. Amazon called for government regulation of facial recognition. It also attacked the researchers in private emails and public blog posts. “The answer to anxieties over new technology is not to run ‘tests’ inconsistent with how the service is designed to be used, and to amplify the test’s false and misleading conclusions through the news media,” an Amazon executive, Matt Wood, wrote in a blog post that disputed the study and a New York Times article that described it. In an open letter, Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Gebru rejected Amazon’s argument and called on it to stop selling to law enforcement. The letter was signed by 25 artificial intelligence researchers from Google, Microsoft and academia. Last June, Amazon backed down. It announced that it would not let the police use its technology for at least a year, saying it wanted to give Congress time to create rules for the ethical use of the technology. Congress has yet to take up the issue. Amazon declined to comment for this article. The End at Google Dr. Gebru and Dr. Mitchell had less success fighting for change inside their own company. Corporate gatekeepers at Google were heading them off with a new review system that had lawyers and even communications staff vetting research papers. Dr. Gebru’s dismissal in December stemmed, she said, from the company’s treatment of a research paper she wrote alongside six other researchers, including Dr. Mitchell and three others at Google. The paper discussed ways that a new type of language technology, including a system built by Google that underpins its search engine, can show bias against women and people of color. After she submitted the paper to an academic conference, Dr. Gebru said, a Google manager demanded that she either retract the paper or remove the names of Google employees. She said she would resign if the company could not tell her why it wanted her to retract the paper and answer other concerns. The response: Her resignation was accepted immediately, and Google revoked her access to company email and other services. A month later, it removed Dr. Mitchell’s access after she searched through her own email in an effort to defend Dr. Gebru. In a Google staff meeting last month, just after the company fired Dr. Mitchell, the head of the Google A.I. lab, Jeff Dean, said the company would create strict rules meant to limit its review of sensitive research papers. He also defended the reviews. He declined to discuss the details of Dr. Mitchell’s dismissal but said she had violated the company’s code of conduct and security policies. One of Mr. Dean’s new lieutenants, Zoubin Ghahramani, said the company must be willing to tackle hard issues. There are “uncomfortable things that responsible A.I. will inevitably bring up,” he said. “We need to be comfortable with that discomfort.” But it will be difficult for Google to regain trust — both inside the company and out. “They think they can get away with firing these people and it will not hurt them in the end, but they are absolutely shooting themselves in the foot,” said Alex Hanna, a longtime part of Google’s 10-member Ethical A.I. team. “What they have done is incredibly myopic.” Cade Metz is a technology correspondent at The Times and the author of “Genius Makers: The Mavericks Who Brought A.I. to Google, Facebook, and the World,” from which this article is adapted. Source link Orbem News #Arent #machines #Making #racist
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PTA
[Trevante Rhodes x Reader]
Word Count: 1.5k
Inspired by a true story on Twitter
You gather up the stray napkins cups and plates littered on the classroom desks left behind from today’s Valentines Day party. The kids got about a week’s worth of sugar in their system today with all of the cupcakes, cookies and candies supplied as a treat, so let the parents deal with that. You load up the big black trash bag and tie it off before heading for the whiteboard to wipe off the leftover markings from the lesson you taught earlier today. Since it was Valentines, it seemed like a nice idea to discuss a couple of Greek and Roman gods and goddesses, teaching their names and meanings as well as providing activities where the students built their own gods and demonstrated their invented meanings. All went well until the great pencil stealing debate came to fruition.
Finishing up the whiteboard cleaning, you hear your student’s voice behind you.
“Good Afternoon, miss.”
You see seven year old Nemour standing there with his hands in his pockets.
You look at him positively. “I’m glad you made it back. Is your father with you?”
Just as you ask, in walks a man suavely rubbing the top of his child’s head.
“This your class, little man?” His voice makes an odd tickling in the back corner of your scalp. A man has entered the chat. He looks up at you absentmindedly for less than a second before minutely forming into a warm expression.
“You must be Mr. Rhodes, right?” You put on your best customer service voice before putting out your hand to shake.
He leads his son by the shoulder gently with one hand and reaches for yours to shake with the other.
“Last I knew. Nice to finally meet you. My son has so many nice things to say about you and what he learns when he comes home.”
You sputter, a little speechless from the compliment. His grip still cradles your hand in his: palm hot but not sweaty and soft despite the obvious work he does to achieve that body. His biceps can’t hide anywhere from his heather grey tshirt, in a permanent flex.
“I am really happy to have your son in my class actually. He is beyond bright and helpful even, but let’s sit down before discussing this further.”
“After you.” He offers as you finally pull your hand from his, walking over with a subtle switch to your desk with two chairs sat beside it. Everyone takes a seat before you begin again.
“So I do want to start off by thanking you for coming in, on Valentines at that. I don’t take for granted that this is out of the way so I appreciate you sharing the time.”
He shrugs. “I don’t have no plans. I wish I was here though, looks like you all shut it down.”
The room was heavily decorated with hearts and streamers of pink and red colors, and little Cupids adorned each child’s desk.
You smile nervously. “It’s a fun holiday to celebrate so I manage what I can to show that.”
Nemour adds, “We learned about Eros and Arrodit today!”
Mr. Rhodes looks at his son with wide eyed wonder. “Oh yeah? Who’s that?”
Nemour shifts in his seat excitedly. “Um um Eros and Apostrophe are love gods! They like love and give it to people!”
“You mean Aphrodite, but awesome Nemour, that’s right!” You encourage your student.
Trevante smiles brightly at his child offering a high five. “That’s what I like to hear, my boy learning.”
You admire the father son bond in front of you so much, you can tell you’re absolutely melting into your chair. You could watch them all day but there is still business to take care of.
“But I do want to address what occurred in class today just so that it doesn’t become a habit or bigger than it already is. Nemour had been accused of taking someone’s pencil today.”
Mr. Rhodes stares at you in a way that makes you clear your throat to fill the silence. He doesn’t look upset, if anything he looks amused by this topic, eyes smiling with a little tuck of his lips.
“And…” He goes on.
“…and it was a pencil we reward students with perfect attendance. It’s pretty specific and the student requested it back but by the time the party started and the day was done the pencil isn’t accounted for.”
Trevante wiggles his legs back and forth with an arm over the back of his son’s chair. “Haven’t y’all got a box of these perfect attendance pencils to replace the lost one?”
You dance around the answer. “The point is that it was taken in the first place. We keep pencils in a cup at the front of the class-”
“Mixed in with everybody else’s?”
“Yes and-”
“So people can just take any pencil…” He draws out the statement as a question.
You didn’t expect an argument. “W-well that is the point. So a student can’t say they forgot their pencil or don’t have one, they can get one from the cup. We set them together to sharpen them towards the end of the day.”
“And you think keeping a nice pencil along with the basic ones is the best thing around some bright eyed seven years old?” He asks, stroking his chin for emphasis. “Sounds like some Reagan level trapping. Son, do you know who Reagan is?”
“No.” He says.
“Well, back in the 80s-”
You start to feel hot under the collar by his defiance and possible straying into the crack epidemic. “Nemour, do you mind going to sharpen the cup of pencils while we finish up talking?”
“Cool!” Nemour cheers as he walks across to the cup and takes one pencil to begin sharpening.
“Mr. Rhodes-”
He holds up his palm, bringing it to his heart. “Please, call me Trevante.”
“Trevante. I wanted to make sure you understood that my point is Nemour took something that wasn’t his.”
The pencil sharpener drowns out your voice a little, making Trevante lean closer to you.
“It is just a pencil.”
You raise your voice a little more. “But it was a special pencil. He could’ve taken any other pencil but he took the one that is particular to one student.”
Trevante, smiles again. You don’t understand why but it makes you calm down for a second.
“How long have you been teaching?”
“About two years now.” You say.
Trevante chuckles, clapping his hands together. “That explains it!”
“I’m sorry?” You ask in confusion.
“Being so rule-minded. You this hung up over my son taking a public pencil! The kid should’ve kept the pencil with them!”
“Rules ensure the world isn’t a crap crowd, first of all. Second, he isn’t getting into trouble over it! I just want to reiterate that it’s not right to take what’s not yours.”
Trevante shakes his head in disbelief but isn’t tired of the conversation. “We gettin a little loud Teach, so let’s use inside voices. These kids should learn responsibility for their belongings instead of catering to every possible need, ma’am. It could take some stress off them shoulders for you.”
You subconsciously adjust the neck of your sweater, flustered over not getting your point across. “Don’t police my volume, Mr. Rhodes, its the damn sharpener. Well then let me apologize for taking your time.”
“My bad. Like I said, I had no plans and this was the best time waster I have had in a while. That is a nice sweater by the way.”
You freeze up at the compliment, rewinding that his eyes followed your movement from earlier. “Thank you. But next time I’ll just email you, how’s that.”
Trevante smiles genuinely. “Oh but real life is much more fun, ain’t it? I see what you did there though. Won’t be a next time, Teach. I promise. Right Nemour!”
Nemour stops sharpening. “Huh Daddy?”
“Don’t take any pencils that ain’t Ticonderoga or #2, K?”
“Yes, sir.” He says meekly before continuing his sharpening duty.”
Your phone goes off with a text. “Oh, um. Well I’ll call this a done meeting right? Do you have any questions?”
Trevante stares up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “You got plans this evening? A happy hour perhaps to de-stress?”
You clutch your phone. “Kind of. I have a date actually.”
“Ohh, so thats why you aint got a ring...and you wearing that sweater?”
“What is wrong with this sweater?? I thought you liked it!”
He shrugs, looking you over like a runway model coach. “It’s good for the cute teacher look, but I don’t know about a hot date.”
“Well if I didn’t have this meeting I would have time to change.”
He wags a finger at you. “Uh uh, don’t blame me. This coulda been an email, remember?”
You start to stand. “Yeah, yeah. Nemour, that’s good enough, thanks!”
Nemour blows the shavings off his last pencil, returning it to it’s cup and running up to his dad.
“I’ll see you Monday miss!”
“Sure will! And Mr. Rhodes?”
“Trevante…”
“Trevante…I hope you have a good Valentine’s Day.”
Trevante holds his hand out again for a shake. “You do the same.”
Your hand lands in his, giving him a firm squeeze, recording the amount of pressure given back from his.
“And if there is a next time, feel free to call me. Usually if people don’t get it the first time, I can convince them the second turn of it. You want me to take this trash out for you?”
“Oh I couldn’t ask you to do that for me.” You say humbly.
He swings the bag over his broad shoulder, giving you that 100 watt grin one more time. “Good thing you didn’t ask. See you later.”
You sit back at your desk, breathing deeply to calm yourself. As much as parent conferences tested your nerves, his tested yours in a way you wanted to get right the next time.
Part 2
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ship history meme
Embrace your past and get to know your friends’ fandom origins!
Rules: Post gifs of your fandoms / ships starting with your most current hyperfixation and work backwards. (Bonus points if you share any stories about how or when you got into that ship! But not necessary!!) Then tag anyone whose fandom history you’d like to learn about!
Tagged by the most gorgeous, smartest, sweetest, and kindest person in my life @sightetsound <3 Sorry y’all, I have a lot of hyperfixations and I’m on NyQuil!
1. Katsuki Bakugo and Eijiro Kirishima, My Hero Academia - I literally can’t watch Season 4 until it’s finished because my heart will Explode if I’m left on a cliffhanger involving these too!!! (Unbreakable T.T <3) I don’t usually like animes but I fell in love with his trash bastard and his soft rock boyfriend by the villain’s attack in S1. It all started when I got a TikTok because a Very Hot Bakugo cosplayer was on there. (Literally, their rendition of Bakugo is just, umph. They have appeared in my dream.). As she got more popular he started cosplaying more of Class 1-A of MHA, and I kept wondering?? What the fuck is this anime about?? Why is there an alien girl?? I soon gave in and watched the show to gain context to this thirst trap. I have so many feels for these boys, even though I don’t post on them much here, and T.T
2. Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane, Shadowhunters - I literally almost wrote my thesis because of this ship. I got into Shadowhunters because I was depressed in a foreign, racist country where I couldn’t go outside alone because old white men would corner me on the street, and everyone was talking about how Mike from Glee was kissing a guy at a wedding? Instead of partying during my study abroad trip, I gobbled down Malec content. And like who wouldn’t?? Harry Shum Jr. was playing a bisexual warlock?? And he had lines and a main character role??? An interracial couple where the characters are both POC?? Sign me up! But then I quickly fell in love with awkward gayby Alec and immediately knew how it felt to be in his shoes. (Disclaimer: I still haven’t finished the show because I don’t want their story to end, but just seeing their wedding scene????? Tears!!!!!!!!!! Both wedding scenes! I-) I just love how soft they look at each as they realize how lucky they are to be able to fall in love against the odds. T.T They deserve the world and all the warlock and shadowhunter babies and T.T This is just going to devolve into me crying so-
3. Stiles Stilinski and Derek Hale, Teen Wolf - I got into Teen Wolf to escape the hellfire that had become the Glee fandom around S3-S4. (Tbh it might have been Dereklei’s constant Sterek content on my dash that led me to give in.) Stiles was bi (through subtext) and definitely turned on by an older werewolf. What more could a depressed Gleek ask for? And listen - now looking back, Sterek is definitely gay Twilight - if Bella was snarkier, had a mental illness, and also a personality. Sterek was the ship to get me back into writing fanfiction and where I could read paranormal characters working through PTSD, ADHD, and other mental illnesses while fighting monsters and having unrealistic sex! I also love those future fics where Beacon Hills isn’t a Hellmouth anymore, and everyone’s alive and just living as one big found family. Truly, Derek deserves the world and I love him so much, and Stiles definitely agrees.
4. Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, One Direction - If it’s a surprise that I’m a dark larrie, please read my bio. HL made me believe that love is real and exists and can last for years. I got into One Direction in 2011 through a Lilo fanfic, but as soon as I watched the Video Diaries,,,we knew. Louis has saved my life in ways I can’t describe and the songs that they’ve written for each other through their tough times are so inspiring to listen and dance to. Seeing how they’ve been dragged apart by management, Sony Entertainment, and the whole music industry as a whole even though they exist in glass closets is very disheartening to see. But their resilience that they show through their art (Only the Brave, Sweet Creature, If I Could Fly, and like so many others) is always there. If you want to fall in this rabbit hole, look at freddieismyqueen on YT and come inside lol. Larry is real.
5. Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson, Glee - the ship that got me on Tumblr! I didn’t start watching Glee until the summer before S2 came out. My whole choir was into it and I didn’t want to be “mainstream”, but Kurt was the first openly gay teen character that I saw on TV. When I heard a character played by Darren Criss, a musical theater YT legend from AVPM, I had to watch it. I ended up binging the first season with those Netflix DVDs during summer break (yeah remember when Netflix wasn’t streaming? lol). I watched every episode of that god-forsaken show the night of (or night after illegally, hidden from my parents) for that ship, and then me and my best friend would rant about it for the whole week: rinse and repeat. The episode they got together made me scream and I definitely put those Glee Rewind songs in my iPhone. (Fun fact: I used to cry at night because I wished someone like Kurt could love me like that because I heavily related to Blaine and his whole situation). I naturally stopped watching Glee the moment they broke them up and I’m still mad at their hasty attempt to marry them out of nowhere with no well-written getting together / make-up arc other than Jigsaw?? and a barn wedding?? As if Hummel would. What a trash fire. But dang, Glee fanfics have some of the dirtiest, kinkiest, forbidden fics out there. If you were ever on Glee_Kink_Meme on LJ, you know.
6. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter - the ship that started it all, the big kahuna, the ultimate enemies to lovers for 90s kids. Drarry got me into the fandom world in middle school, where I basically lived on FFN and LJ while pretending to do my homework. I used to get ready every day by watching the same playlist of “The best Harry Potter videos on Youtube!” (curated by Ariel333Lindt, who was the only queer person I knew but lived in Eastern Europe, where I could see two gay people kiss and fall in love in the safety of my room through badly photoshopped videos. Please check out that playlist). I just love how each fic is a microcosm where they have to construct how magical systems work, the backstories of pureblood families, creatures, or just wizarding culture for the end goal of having Drarry fuck and fall in love! I love redemption arcs that take 200k to achieve, I love dark!Harry takes, and every single different damn take on Narcissa, Pansy, and Millicent - because deep down that’s the writer trying to come to turns on whether or not Draco should be redeemed to get together with Harry. (I mean we all know they’re obsessed with each other, book 6 anyone?) I feel like Drarry fics have the best worldbuilding and characterizations of these characters, and I just love those moments when Draco and Harry take a moment to take a breath together and realize how far they’ve come. No one else can understand how it felt to be the pariah or the chosen one, they both interacted with Voldemort the most, and they have the most history together. They should have gotten together! But I mean the author’s dead, am I right?
So that was a lot! Those are all the ships that impacted me that I still participate with. They have shaped me for better or worse, and have made me learn more about who I am and what I want (or don’t want) in a relationship. This was the most fun essay I’ve ever written on NyQuil!
I’m tagging @homosociallyyours because I really want to know your fandom story! Also @stozierbrak because I love you and must hear you gush about your boys. I’m also tagging @iamaqualady because you’re literally the most intriguing person I know and I’m glad we’re friends even though we haven’t interacted that much? ish?
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I started writing an outline for a non existent Flower Shop AU series but it just turned into Loving Avatar Thuy Hours.
Here are some great things about Avatar Thuy (SUPER long post because I love Thuy):
She tells her folks that she’s a girl around the same time she tells them about the bald man who taught her to sling mud. Because there’s not a lot of gendered differences in the Swamp Tribe, the trans thing wasn’t a big deal. Finding out their daughter was the Avatar, on the other hand, REALLY WAS.
The concept of “kin” (FOLKLORE TERM) and the connection of all life in the swamp via the root system has a profound spiritual effect on Thuy. She can perfectly call up any Avatar and, as she gets older, can channel them easily when in the Avatar State. For the on-screen Avatars, here’s Thuy’s hot takes:
Wan- She is Not A Fan. Doesn’t like how he shifts between being super cocky and super insecure. Wishes he had not closed off the Spirit Realm. (Not like it worked, as she gestures angrily around the swamp)
Yangchen- When Thuy learned about Fairy Godmothers from a book of Fairy Tales someone brought into the Swamp, this is immediately who Thuy thought of. Yangchen was always calming and patient, and listened every time Thuy would rant about her cousins stealing a toy or when someone pushed her into the swamp. Family is big in the Swamp and Yangchen became another mother.
Kuruk- He can’t handle kids. He also cannot handle the concept of hick Waterbenders. He is a North Pole Waterbender and (SPOILERS) fell for a high class Fire Nation Lady so, he does not like the Swamp. The Swamp is not a fan of his either.
Kyoshi- TBH Thuy was intimidated by her at first. However, when puberty hit, they talked a lot about body dysmorphia and what it means to be a woman. Thuy was able to accept her body with the continued help of Kyoshi.
Roku- Roku is a story-teller. He told Thuy about the start of the war, and his time with Sozin. He talked about Azulon and what the royal family used to be like. Thuy was fascinated by the Fire Nation, wondering how such a mythological sounding people could do something so human like wage war.It allowed her to think of the Fire Nation as something more than just The Enemy.
Aang- The first Avatar to greet her. He was her confidante and like a very fun grandpa. He taught her to meditate and throw mud pies (breaking the rules by tiptoeing into Earthbender territory). He talked about the war as it was happening, and explained to her how important it was that she grow up safe. He talked about his kids and asked her about the Swamp. He explained how important it was to understand how all things, all nations, were connected and to make friends in every nation. He told her about Zuko, and about his grandkids. Especially Rohan, who might know a thing or two about pronouns.
Sometimes, catgators are tame enough to keep near the residents. However, this is similar to things we see in the news when people keep exotic pets. Tame does NOT equal domestic, and bad things happen. So when Thuy shows up with Mister Whiskers, Everyone Is Quite Alarmed.
Catgators, like real life catfish, are also borderline cryptids. No one knows how old they get. Or how big.
I imagine catgators move like alligators and can be surprisingly fast for their flat, fat bodies. Remember kids, run in a zig zag because they WILL get you.
I am from Florida. I live in Florida once again. My family has lived in Florida since we came to this country. I was “poor white trash” and had an accent. I am NOT indigenous (see above comment about coming to this country). I give Thuy a lot of traits from what I remember about growing up, things I know about the rural south via my family, and throw in the pieces I like from canon. I also want to explore topics that are indigenous specific like what’s happening to the Amazon and the continued sins my country commits on native and/or sacred land. As a sensitivity point: I do not wish to ever write about the trials and tribulations of these issues. That is for native people, as they are the ones who truly understand the generational trauma surrounding it. What I would hope to do is bring awareness to real world situations where we as non-indigenous people can assist.
Don’t let them cut down the Amazon y’all for real. And blowing up Mount Rushmore is RIDICULOUS.
Thuy loves people. Because she’s so used to being around a supportive community, and being a teenager, she doesn’t understand when adults are rude or mocking at first.
However, she is VERY secure about who she is as a person. Her family and tribe has always supported her, so she has a very strong foundation. It takes a lot to rock her. Mostly, she gets embarrassed when people call her out or make fun of her for being loud and overly excited.
She is scared to meet Katara at first, because she learns a little about what Katara did in the war. What and who she lost. She feels bad that she wasn’t there. Thuy doesn’t know how to start a conversation with her, which is bad because Thuy not so secretly wants to replace Kuruk with Katara as her Water Tribe connection. She doesn’t want to go to Arnook, who lost his daughter, or Hakoda, who lost his wife, and Sokka is in the same category as Katara, obviously.
Suki finds her freaking out. And remember, Thuy is a close friend of Kyoshi. They talk and Suki relaxes Thuy by putting the Avatar in Kyoshi robes. Sokka finds them with Thuy thoroughly disguised and, I might actually write this scene so you’ll have to wait.
Thuy likes Azula at first because she is oddly fascinated by the performative femininity of the Fire Nation. Azula is powerful, confident, and very feminine, and that intrigues Thuy. But Azula is Azula and has very little interest in some backwater peasant, even if she is the Avatar.
Toph embraces everything about the Swamp Tribe, as does Rohan, so they are the ones Thuy is the closest to. Toph, as a more destructive Gyatso, figures out how to rig a pressurized device that launches mud projectiles and the two of them wreck havoc at fancy Beifong dinner parties. Rohan takes the technology up a notch and they all terrorize the Air Temples. Doesn’t have the same impact, because they all survived Aang. Toph teaches Thuy to take no shit and give no fucks.
Thuy is insecure about her inability to communicate with the Spirits. Having grown up in the swamp, she could see them and heard how other people ran into them. Especially the refugees that were allowed in. The Spirits seemed to guide certain people to Thuy, which meant they didn’t hate her, but they never seemed to engage. The only thing she could think of was Wan and blamed him unfairly for a long time.
Thuy does a traditional education as the Avatar. She works for a few years with Toph, having a basis in earthbending already from Aang. Crystalbending is her special talent and Toph dismisses it as playing with jewelry (but never discourages her pupil ofc).
Jinora is Thuy’s airbending teacher and spiritual advisor. She is very good about calming Thuy when she continues to have this disconnect with the Spirits, but is unable to help her overcome it.
Tenzin deems Rohan too irresponsible but allows them to ferry Thuy around so they still teach the Avatar new things. Plus, in this world, there’s a secular sect of Airbending that Bumi - Aang’s son and an Airbender since apparently all Air Nomads are Benders?? - started during the war. They have a very loose relationship with the Air Nomad commitment to non-violence and can live in permanent residences. They are required to do their initial training at the temples, but many go back to their homes, don’t shave their heads, don’t live a monastic life, etc. Rohan goes back and forth about their place, but ultimately takes over as the head of the secular branch. It appeals to Thuy more and they take their role very seriously because of the responsibility.
Zuko teaches Thuy firebending. His adaptations to include other styles makes it easier for Thuy to pick up, though she still learns the basics at the Royal Academy for Girls (where she meets Suzu and Zula).
Katara is Thuy’s “master.” She helps Thuy navigate the political world and they work together on the Water Tribe restoration and re-unification plans. Katara oversees the training schedules, the visitations, the summits, the tributes, and every other bit of minutiae. She also gives Thuy a break and they hang out doing Waterbender stuff.
Sokka and Suki teach Thuy non-bending martial arts. Thuy can kick your ass in a multitude of ways basically.
Thuy gets her Avatar Companions at very different stages. You’d think they wouldn’t get along, but Thuy has collected them and they like her, so they make it work.
Suzu and Zula (those are their names, not nicknames) are twins. They are Firebenders and are not related to the royal family at all. They grew up near the palace, went to the Royal Academy for Girls, and were sent to the palace to keep Thuy company and it was supposed to be very formal and politically advantageous for their parents. Except they actually became friends with Thuy and escaped the Fire Nation to go on adventures, which their parents did not like.
Suzu is a blend of Azula and Ty Lee in my mind. She is named in honor of Fire Lord Sozin. (Her family is SUPER into Fire Nation superiority) She is cheerful and enjoys playing around. She and Thuy get overly excited about things together instead of being “mature” and “above such things” as many noble girls tell them repeatedly. Her “Azula” traits come out when someone insults her family or Thuy. She ends up learning chi blocking from Ty Lee. Suzu is not to be left unsupervised.
Zula is a blend of Azula and Mai. She is “the eldest” and does everything her parents tell her to do, even if she hates it. She is named in honor of Fire Lord Azulon (and I guess Azula?). She ends up becoming an instructor at the Royal Academy for Girls until Thuy whisks her away to go adventuring. Zula hates the rigid society among the nobles and very happily dashes off. Can’t say no to the Avatar right??? Her firebending skill is in marksmanship. She can and will singe the sleeve of some snotty little noble from across the room if they irk her. She learns to bend lightning from Iroh and even Thuy is a little scared.
When Thuy moved from her earthbending lessons and onto air, Toph opened up her metalbending academy to have something to do between professional bending competitions. Jae-hwan was a late addition because he couldn’t afford the fees. Then he found out that the fees were arbitrary because Toph is a Beifong and she gave him a room to stay in. Thuy met him when she visited her Sifu and he, not knowing she was the Avatar, stole her purse as a joke. When he did find out, instead of freaking out, started to make fun of her because some lowly Earthbender orphan was able to steal the Avatar’s wallet. He never lets her forget that or any other embarrassing thing he witnesses.
Tashi is very quiet. He surprised everyone by choosing to join Urban Dust, the secular branch of the Air Nomads, instead of continuing on at the temples. People thought he would become a great sage and possibly live old enough to see the next Air Nomad Avatar. But Tashi is a true child of the sky and would live on his Sky Bison Dawa if he could. He does not like being on the ground for long and frequently disappears to go flying. Tashi specifically asked that Rohan be his mentor, again shocking everyone, but Rohan understood. Getting older, Rohan calms down and becomes very philosophical. Tashi finds them to be very wise and they contemplate the nature of things together. Thuy appreciates the one friend of hers that would never end up in jail with her. Tashi brings the bail money. Tashi also hides the body. Tashi can keep secrets.
Aktuk was born and raised in the North Pole. His father is a waterbending master and his mother is a waterbending healer. His older sister is a waterbending prodigy. He lost his leg during his ice dodging ceremony when the boat crashed. As a non-Bender, he had almost drowned and has a fear of the open sea. He makes his own prosthesis and is very into mechanics. When Thuy attended a festival in the North Pole, they had collided because Aktuk was carrying a bunch of parts and material for a project and didn’t see her. Freaking out, Aktuk tried to scurry away as quickly as possible but Thuy kept asking him questions. When she asked how he kept his leg from freezing, Aktuk immediately started to infodump and forgot about being scared. Thuy had to drag him around for awhile, because Aktuk had been basically taught to defer to Benders, but they refused to let him. Suzu and Zula hated the reminder of Fire Nation propriety, Tashi accepted everyone, and Jae-hwan only cared if people were paying attention to him. Thuy and Aktuk date for awhile, but part amicably after they grow into different people.
Thuy saves the world and I steal Korra’s ending for her own. She balances the Spirit World and the Physical World, opening up the portals. She brings back DRAGONS.
Zuko and Katara ultimately retire. Their daughter Izumi becomes Fire Lord. Sokka and Suki’s daughter Kya surprises everyone when they find out she’s a Waterbender and sits on the Water Tribe triumvirate as the chief of the South Pole. Kya and Izumi, having been born on the same day, terrify the rest of the world with their closeness. They consider themselves more like sisters than cousins and have to be repeatedly talked back from their plans to rule the world. They aren’t killing machines, more that they think they know what’s best and only listen to each other. Sometimes Lu Ten. But ALWAYS Suzu.
Rohan becomes the head sage of the Urban Dust and creates a flying society that freaks everyone out for awhile. Tashi goes to the Spirit World for a long time and comes back, a little weird. IDK, I have stuff to explore with him. It’s not bad, just very different.
Suzu marries a nice, minor Fire Nation lord and settles down to teach firebending in his rural home. She adores the royal children and they adore her. When Suzu shows up at either the Fire Nation palace or the South Pole, other people know it’s because either Izumi or Kya were planning something.
Zula never leaves Thuy and they travel together forever. Are they together? IDK, it might just be my attempt to fix (what I think is wrong with) k*rr*sami tbh.
Toph DOES end up going to the Swamp, but her family knows about it and visits her often. Toph does not become a cop ffs, she becomes Willy Wonka but without the candy and slave labor. Lin tries to head the Beifong family after her mother just leaves one day, but she is much more suited to being a metalbending instructor. Once Suyin settles down, she gently pries the Beifong stuff from her sister’s terrified hands and does a really good job at managing Gaoling. They both studied under the Avatar for a little bit, and their rivalry came about with Suyin getting along better with Thuy.
Sokka, pulling an Iroh, never leaves his flower shop. People ask him if he’s THE Sokka, brother of the Queen of the Water Tribes, brother-in-law to the Fire Lord, friend of the Avatar, then the father of the South Pole chief and he always goes “No, I just look like him and we have the same name.”
He often says this while Zuko is sitting with him behind the counter, drinking tea.
Aktuk helps rebuild the South Pole and the Water Tribe navy is reborn. The Earth Kingdom is shook. Toph introduces him to another Swamp Tribe member and he marries her. He loves the Swamp. The Swamp Tribe gains a lot more replacement limbs that were lost to catgators.
Jae-hwan has a hard time letting go of the metalbending academy. He basically grew up there, and spent every free moment there if he wasn’t travelling with Thuy. When Toph has kids, he realizes he had thought of her as his mom and freaks out. She assures him that it’ll be okay. Before she runs off to the Swamp, she legally adopts him, making him a Beifong. He opens more metalbending academies but runs the one in Gaoling because of familial pride. He encourages Lin to take up pro-bending, and becomes a coach when the mixed bending circuit opens. Rohan is OBSESSED with mixed bending matches.
Ultimately, Thuy gets to relax in a way Avatars had been unable to for many cycles. The Water Tribe navy keeps the coastal city-kingdoms in the Earth Kingdom in check, while also reinforcing the United Republic. With the Swamp Tribe literally in the Earth Kingdom, the city-kingdoms become more firmly established and the Earth King becomes the Earth Emperor, but has to manage all of the city-kingdoms and it’s just a lot you guys he is so tired. The Fire Nation goes through an artistic renaissance under Zuko’s rule and the former colonies turn into industrial powerhouses. They are an economic force unto themselves and protect the Fire Nation from Earth Kingdom advances.
With the world in relative harmony, Thuy travels often, since her friends and family have settled all over the world. Mister Whiskers grows to ENORMOUS size and they put him in a wagon when they go around. He does not eat people (anymore) but the wagon still warns others not to get too close.
Zula is always there, with her RBF and scary fast bending. Thuy is still prone to gleeful outbursts and Zula smiles lovingly. They like to read together and will fall asleep resting on Mister Whiskers as they all bask in the same sunny spot.
Aw crap, they are together.
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