#//I know my posts are far and few in between//

[saltynsassy31]

Full disclaimer, I have to read any of the fics written for Shockwave and the kids yet as I've been busy and off Tumblr for a bit for my own mental health lol

But I recently saw a photo of an abandoned carousel in some underground area filled with puddles and it reminded me of that one deleted scene from Detroit: Become Human where the Jerry's make a broken carousel work again for Alice and they all just watched her happily play on it as the world around them crumbled.

And, with that thought, it also reminded me of Shockwave and the kids and I simply HAD to write a small drabble fic of it. Sorry if it isn't accurate for the characters or the story already made, but I hope it's enjoyed regardless :3

And, I hope, with all the angst going on, this fluffy story will satisfy yall a bit XD

[This is the post I saw that inspired me to write this, if anyone wants a visual of the place: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DGog_W_vDiR/?igsh=b3FsYm50enJhM3ln ]

AU belongs to @keferon

Carousel

~☆~

As the days went by, the situation they all found themselves in was slowly starting to get far too real. It was fun, at first, running around abandoned buildings and scavenging for whatever they could find, spending time with their newly acquired aquatic dad friend who kept them safe and well fed.

But then things started to show up and it scared them. Shockwave tried to avoid the areas with the most floating bodies, the children having seen enough of that (and he hoped they hadn't seen any they would recognise), but every now and then something would float up and startle them. Other times they'd run into bigger problems while scavenging and they had far too many close calls for Shockwave's liking.

They tend to keep themselves entertained, for the most part. Shockwave only occasionally indulged. But, usually, he could simply gently float on the surface of the water and let the kids tire themselves out. However, they've become more quiet lately.

It was hard to tell what caused it. Could be a myriad of things, as listed before, maybe it was finally starting to dawn on them how the situation was far from ideal. Maybe it was the conversation they had with that Orca - Jazz, was it? Shockwave couldn't tell, and it bothered him.

He missed their lively chatter (it still happened, but few and far between). A part of him was starting to wonder if the humans who called him out on the fact that this wasn't normal behaviour for human children were right, a small pang of regret reaching the back of his mind.

But he shook those thoughts away. Now wasn't the time. Nothing about their situation was normal anyway, he was already providing more than enough for them to survive this cruel world.

Shockwave was aggressively pulled out of his drifting thoughts by an ear piercing screech that immediately put him on high alert.

“Guys! Guys! Look!” He heard Skids say. Turning to look at him, he followed where the boy was pointing at.

It looked to be some kind of fair or theme part, it was a little hard to tell. Half of it was submerged, but there were some areas in which the water had receded. Shockwave relaxed once he deemed the situation safe, but still gave a small scrutinising glare at Skids for causing unnecessary concern - which went, of course, completely ignored.

“Oh wow, it looks pretty banged up, huh?” Tc noted, crawling closer to the edge of Shockwave's back to get a better look.

“But there might still be some things left over. You know how much they tend to sell in these places? And now we can just snag them!” Warp argued, already getting excited at the thought.

“Do we really need more useless things to carry around?” Trailbreaker argued, the bag he carried strangely heavier on his back.

“There are other things we could do there.” Skids quickly chimed in. “We could check out some of the games they have.”

“Would there be any still working?”

“Carnival games easy to fix, Soundwave up to the task.”

They all turned to look at Soundwave, seemingly to silently fall into an agreement.

Warp turned to face Shockwave, clasping his hands together as he pleaded. “Can we go there? Pretty pleaaaase?” Before he could even answer, the others had joined them.

He wasn't going to say no. This was the exact type of fun distraction they needed, maybe it would help them go back to their usual, energetic selves. So the theatrics were unnecessary. Still, he couldn't help the small amusement it brought him. He pretended to think it over, as if he didn't already have their answer.

“Hmm, I don't know…”

Those simple words were enough to make them all Start to plead harder, making their eyes as big as possible, throwing promises he knew they'd never actually follow through.

That broke the façade he was trying to play up, causing him to laugh. “Alright, alright. We can go.” The kids erupted into celebratory cheers, hugging each other and jumping on Shockwave's back. “But don't stray so far where I can't reach you, okay?”

They all nodded, but he only had trust in some of them to actually obey his orders.

Regardless, he swam over to the abandoned park and waited until they had slid off of him before crawling over onto land. The ground was still pretty wet, so it made it easier for him to slide around and follow them, keeping himself to the more deeper puddles when possible.

He watched as they all went to different directions with their own, small group. Tc and Warp, always tied to the hip, ran over to some of the stands that still had some prizes hanging. Windcharger and Trailbreaker followed Damus as he ran to play some of the games that didn't require power to work. And Skids and Soundwave went…

Where did they go?

Panic immediately followed the realisation. Shockwave stood up straighter and began to spin his head around in search of the two missing kids. The others didn't seem to have noticed their absence, too enthralled in their own activity.

He was about to start calling when he heard a familiar boisterous voice call from not too far. “Guys! Over here! Come see what me and Soundwave just discovered!”

Immediately, all of the attention was on Skids who had a smile so wide Shockwave was worried he'd hurt himself with it. The others looked at each other briefly before making their way over, Damus hesitating a bit before putting down the fishing rod he held and following the rest.

Shockwave did so as well, to the best of his abilities anyway. The further they went, the tighter the space became and less water reached the surface for him to easily slide around. He wanted to voice his complaint of them going too far, like he had explicitly told them not to before coming here (and really, he thought Warp would have disobeyed first before Soundwave. Skids made sense, but him?) But before he could even think of what to say, Skids noticed his struggle and seemed to remember something.

“Oh, right! Almost forgot.” He jogged over to the mer shark and gently grabbed at one of his fingers to guide him elsewhere. “There's an opening that takes you directly to the area we found. You have to swim underneath some rubble, but it should fit you.”

The boy took him to some dilapidated attraction of the park, it was too broken to tell what it used to be, but it did create an opening that allowed Shockwave to fit through perfectly fine. “Just swim straight ahead and it should take you to the area, we'll meet you there.”

Immediately, Shockwave didn't like that idea, and he didn't need to voice his thoughts for the teen to catch on, his glare doing the job just fine. “It'll be fine, don't worry! It's not that far. Less than a minute, probably less than a second for you since you're so big you'll just have to slide in and out. Besides, there's nothing here, the place is completely barren.”

Shockwave was still unconvinced.

Skids took to pleading. “Please! It'll be quick, I promise you. And worth it too! It's the exact thing we've been needing, and Soundwave put a lot of work on it. I know you don't like leaving us alone for even a second, but give it a chance?”

They stared at each other for a moment, Skids making his eyes as wide and innocent as possible and Shockwave hoping the stubborn teen would dispel this idea with his glare alone.

In the end, Skids guppy eyes were far too powerful even for a great shak such as Shockwave. And the kid was right, wasn't this what he wanted for them to begin with?

He let out a heavy sigh of defeat and reluctantly agreed to it. “Fine. I trust you, but if anything shows up–”

“We don't engage with it and call for you, yes, I know. Now go! Soundwave is waiting!” Skids ushered Shockwave to submerge himself into the large opening with the wave of his hands and only joined back with the others once he could no longer see the large mer.

One relief Shockwave had was that the tunnel formed was large enough that he could easily turn around and pop back out if he heard any of the kids in danger, though it also lacked any proper escape for him as it only had one direction for him to go. Straight ahead or backwards. 

But Skids was right in saying the trip was short, he could already hear the muffled voices of his children. Soon enough, he found himself resurfacing, the lively chatter being the first thing his senses picked up on.

When the children heard the splash of water, they all turned to look towards the source of the noise, their excitement almost blindingly radiat in contrast to the dark, murky room they found themselves in.

The place was closed off by fallen buildings that created a sort of cave around them, plenty of fauna already making its home here. It was fairly empty as well, save for the large, round attraction in the middle of the room. It had horses stuck to poles inside it, a dim pink and gold decorating the whole thing, the paintings that littered it had long since faded and it was hard to tell what it once was.

“Okay, you're here, good.” Skids turned to Soundwave, who was standing next to what looked to be a control panel. “Soundwave, would you do us the honours?”

The other teen nodded, bending down to start pulling at some wires in place of pressing the buttons offered. Warp scoffed, crossing his arms and looking skeptically at his friend. “There's no power here, how in the world are you going to get it to work? I swear, if you brought us all the way here for nothing I–”

Before he could finish his sentence, a blast of music and light echoed loudly around the empty space, causing everyone to flinch back and cover their ears. Shockwave nervously looked around, worried that the loud noise might have attracted some unwanted attention. Once the shock faded, Skids ran up to Soundwave and gestured proudly at the now working carousel.

“Ta-da!”

“Wh…how is this possible!?” Warp questioned, looking at Soundwave for answers, to not only be ignored, but shoved around by the other kids who ran towards the attraction. “Seriously?! Is no one else even a little bit concerned on how this is possible?”

Tc placed a hand over his shoulder, bringing his attention to him. “Warp, just enjoy the miracle. When are we going to get another chance like this?”

Warp could only grumble. Tc was right, they wouldn't, not for a long time. That didn't mean he had to accept it though.

Shockwave watched as they all walked over and picked their favourite horse, Tc and Skids fighting over the same blue one before Trailbreaker broke their fight up and offered his to Tc, walking up to help Damus up and sit with him instead. Shockwave observed the way Soundwave continued to pick at the control panel and looked up at the other children, waiting for their confirmation that they were ready before clicking something and closing the panel. As soon as he did that, the carousel began to slowly move, the horses bobbing up and down in gentle motions, causing the kids to excitedly cheer.

Soundwave stepped on the moving platform while it was still picking up speed and sat on a random horse near Windcharger. Although not as vocal as the others, he was clearly enjoying it.

Shockwave couldn't quite get what was so entertaining about the thing. It was slow, even after it picked up some speed, and the music was painful to the ears. But that didn't quite matter, did it? They were happy, and they were having fun.

It clearly was something they knew about before the tsunami, before their civilization fell apart. A simple joy of life that they missed.

And, in a world dimmed by tragedy and destruction, where at every corner something threatens their very existence, isn't that all they could ask for?

So, in a small moment of peace, Shockwave let himself relax. He bent forward and rested his chin over his crossed arms and watched as his children sang along with the screechy music, bouncing on their fake horses and pretending they were in some high chase in their little imaginary world.

In this dreary reality, even the artificial light of a broken past could make it all worth it. 

[anghimalaaynasapuso]

Your work is amazing, I love the way you interpret Simon’s personality and speech patterns in the prosthetic arm Simon fic.❤️

hello, anon! thank you so much for the kind words. i just wanted to take this opportunity to post this deleted part of prosthetic arm simon.

sfw. angst (?). highschool dropout simon. shame.

the prosthetic is finished.

it fits like a second skin. moves smooth, seamless, with no lag between thought and motion. it’s perfect. better than anything he could’ve gotten himself. better than the overpriced models he looked at years ago, wondering if he could stomach the debt just to feel normal again.

and for a moment, as he flexes his fingers, as he watches the metal articulate like flesh, he feels… proud. proud of you, of your work, of the precision in every detail. he turns his hand over, watching the way the joints move, the faint hum of technology so advanced he still doesn’t fully understand it.

but then— the thought creeps in, unbidden, unwelcome.

his throat tightens.

does this mean he doesn’t have an excuse to see you anymore?

his fingers still, mid-motion.

the past few months have been good. better than he expected. seeing you, talking to you, getting to know you beyond the surface-level interactions he usually keeps with people.

but now?

now there’s no more check-ups. no more adjustments. no more need for him to stop by so you can make small tweaks, run diagnostics, ensure everything’s running smoothly.

simon swallows, something cold curling in his chest. he tells himself he’s being ridiculous. that if he really wanted to see you, he could just— just call, just text, just ask.

but that’s not how he works.

he’s spent so long just coasting with people. staying at arm’s length, keeping interactions simple, necessary, easy to walk away from.

but you? you’re not easy to walk away from.

“you did good,” he says, and he means it. he just hopes you can’t hear everything else under it.

you don’t seem to notice his unease, too excited as you bounce on your heels, practically beaming.

“oh- i have news!”

he blinks. tries to steady himself. “yeah?"

“my thesis got picked to be presented at congress!”

it takes him a second. longer than it should. he hears the words, knows what they mean, but they feel far away, like his mind is still caught in the spiral from before.

but then he sees the way you’re looking at him, the pure joy on your face, and something inside him lurches

“shit,” he breathes. “that’s- that’s incredible.”

and it is. you deserve this. you deserve more than this.

he shows up to the congress.

he doesn’t tell you he’s coming. he doesn’t even decide until the last minute, standing in front of his closet, staring at the one half-decent button-up he owns.

but then he’s there, standing outside the venue, and he brings flowers.

he’s never done that before. never even bought flowers before, really. but he stands outside the venue, fingers tight around the cheap bouquet, feeling ridiculous and out of place.

he feels out of place.

too big, too rough, too obviously not part of the sleek, academic crowd milling around in suits and dresses. he tugs at his sleeves, shifting his weight, half-ready to just leave the flowers somewhere and go before—

then he sees you. scanning the crowd, eyes searching.

and when you spot him— you light up.

like he’s supposed to be here. like he’s not just some guy who stumbled in, unsure if he even belongs in moments like these.

you rush over, practically colliding into him, and he barely has time to react before you’re grabbing the flowers, pressing your face into them, laughing breathlessly.

“you came.”

his throat works. he clears it, rubbing the back of his neck.

“’course i did,” he mutters.

you smile.

…

he knew this was a bad idea.

he knew from the moment he walked into the restaurant, stiff in his chair, palm sweating against the napkin in his lap.

knew when you slid into the seat across from him, looking bright and effortless and so at ease, still glowing from your big presentation, still beaming about the congress.

knew when he looked down at the menu and realized he didn’t recognize half the words on it.

simon’s spent years in places like this— quiet, dimly lit, the air thick with the smell of good food and low conversation. but he’s always been alone. always sat in a corner with his back to the wall, a meal in front of him and no one expecting him to talk.

but now— now there’s you.

and you’re talking, telling him about the congress, about the people you met, the questions they asked. you sound so fucking excited, like the whole world is opening up in front of you, and simon—

simon just nods.

he doesn’t know what to say. doesn’t know how to keep up.

he’s never been smart like you. never been the type to sit in lecture halls, to write papers, to stand in front of a room full of academics and present something that matters.

he barely finished school. left home at sixteen, signed his life away at eighteen, spent more years holding a gun than a pen.

simon’s just good at breaking it.

he doesn’t belong in places like this. doesn’t belong next to you. you who's all bright ideas and ambition, the kind of person who builds things, who makes the world better.

he shifts in his seat, hyper-aware of how he looks— broad shoulders hunched awkwardly, big hands clumsy against the silverware, a goddamn mutt at a dinner table.

he wonders if you notice. if you see it. if you realize you could do better.

your food arrives. you thank the waiter, pick up your fork—

and before you can even take a bite, it slips out.

“i-”

you pause, fork halfway to your mouth.

simon grips his napkin under the table, flexes his fingers, heart thudding heavy in his ribs.

he shouldn’t ask. should just let this be a nice dinner, let you go home, let you move on.

but—

“would you…” he swallows, throat dry, stomach tight.

he shouldn’t ask.

“would you want to go on a date with me?”

the words hit the table like lead.

silence.

he doesn’t breathe. doesn’t move. because fuck, he actually said it.

and now there’s nothing but the space between you, the quiet hum of conversation, the faint clink of cutlery against plates—

and you. staring at him.

he braces for rejection. tells himself it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s—

“yeah,” you say, voice light with something he can’t name. “i would.”

his stomach drops.

relief. disbelief. something dangerously close to hope.

he exhales, tension bleeding from his shoulders. nods, just once, like he’s acknowledging an order. like his hands aren’t trembling under the table.

“okay,” he mutters.

then, quieter—

“good.”

[dfstolenart]

Oh baby | Criminal Minds

.・゜✭・. Spencer Reid x F!Reader .・゜✭・.

Summary: you and Spencer unexpectedly become parents despite not being together officially

A/N: This is probs my fav fic I’ve written, so far. Hope you guys love it<3 lmk your thots:D also not proof-read I just wanted to get something posted.

BYR(b4 u Reid): Kind of a situationship?, nervous and scared Reid | kissing lol <- [warnings]

You woke up feeling absolutely miserable, maybe even worse than a hangover. A wave of nausea hit you hard, sending you rushing to your bathroom.

Dropping to your knees in front of your toilet, you barely had a second to catch your breath before you started throwing up, your stomach twisting with each heave “gross” you muttered

Flushing the toilet, and brushing your teeth you run to your alarm reading the time 7:30 am

Thirty minutes before you had to be at your desk

You throw on something work-appropriate but comfortable, not having energy to put much effort into your appearance after the rough start to your morning

As you walk towards the door, your eyes flicker to your calendar. Something makes you pause, and you decide to check it

A sinking feeling settles into your stomach when you see it’s around the time you’re supposed to start your cycle, but you quickly brush it off not wanting to stress yourself out even more

Cycles change all the time you convinced yourself it was just happening to you

As soon as the elevator doors opened, you hurried out, making a beeline for your desk.

“Just in time.” Spencer noted as you arrived

“I was worried I was going to be late.”

“You had exactly one minute to spare.” He held up a cup of coffee “I picked it up on the way.”

You took the cup but eyed him skeptically before grabbing his wrist and pulling him towards a quieter corner, his brows furrowed in confusion

“It’s a nice gesture, really,” you said as you lifted up the cup “But this looks a little suspicious.”

“Getting you coffee is suspicious?” He questioned

You sighed “I just don’t want the team in our business. They’re already catching on, and I’d rather keep this between us.”

He considered that for a moment before nodding “If it helps, I’ll buy Derek coffee tomorrow to throw them off.” He suggested

You couldn’t help but smile “you’re annoying.”

Spencer chuckled, then, to your surprise, laced his fingers with yours “you know.” He said matter of factly “If anything looks suspicious, it’s you pulling me somewhere private for a conversation.”

You nodded agreeing with him “You’re right.” and with that you let go of his hand “I’ll talk to you later.” you say as you walk away from the tall gorgeous man

You’d be lying if you said you didn't miss the way your fingers felt together or the sounds that leave his mouth when he laughs

It was like music to your ears

You know you shouldn't feel that way since what you guys have isn’t official, and you didn’t want to get hurt.

A few days have passed and it was like each day was worser than the last, now it was headaches, fatigue, nausea all creeping in at the worst moments

But you're convinced its just a bug, between the stress of the last case you and your team did and the lack of sleep it makes sense that your body is shutting down

Except, your girl friends at the BAU don't believe that one bit

“Geez, you look pale.” JJ says as she leans against your desk, arms crossed “And she’s been running to the bathroom a lot.” Emily joins in

You wave them off “I'm just coming down with something”

“Yeah that's what you said yesterday, and the day before.” Penelope recalls “What is this an intervention?” you question

“Nope, just your friends worried about you.” JJ says as she shared a knowing look with Emily and Pen

“It’s nothing.” you assured them

“Hey, I brought you some tea.” Spencer says as he joins the group, setting a cup down in front of you. His eyes scan your face with concern “you look sick.”

Your stomach twists at his comment “Do I really look that bad?” you ask feeling a bit insecure

Spencer's eyes widen slightly, he stumbles on his words “No-no, not bad. I just meant… you seem unwell. That's all.”

Emily smirks, shaking her head “Way to go, Dr. Reid.” she grabs her files and walks off

JJ gives you a sympathetic look as she stands “And that's our cue to leave. Come on, Penelope.” Garcia leans in as she follows JJ “Feel better sunshine.” she says before disappearing down the hall

Spencer shifts on his feet “I’m sorry. I shouldn't of had said it like that.”

You sigh, feeling guilty for your reaction “It’s okay. I’m just feeling extra sensitive today. I know you didn’t mean anything by it.”

He studies you for a moment, then lowers his voice “Have you thought about seeing a doctor? You've been sick for awhile now.”

You shake your head quickly “It’s not that serious.” but Spencer doesn't look convinced “Well…If you need anything, I'm right here.

You offer him a smile “Thanks, Spence.”

As he walks away, you stare at the tea he left behind. The more you think about it, the more unease settles in your chest. What if this isn’t just a stomach bug? What if it’s something worse.

And worse than that, what if you’re right?

As soon as lunch rolled around, you grabbed JJ, Emily, and Penelope by the arms “Come with me. Now.”

“Where are we going?” Garcia asked, eyeing you curiously “A store.” You hesitated, lowering your voice “I need a test.”

All three of them stopped in their tracks, wide eyed “Like a test test?” JJ asked, eyebrows raised, you nodded the fear in your eyes answering for you

“Okay.” Emily said already walking “Let’s go.”

“Wouldn’t you want to do this with…you know, whoever might’ve done this?”

“Uh, no. He’s busy.” You said quickly, leading them toward the exit, but just as you reached the door, Morgan and Spencer appeared

“Hey, where are you guys headed?” Morgan asked “Yeah, I thought we were all getting lunch at Caesars.” Spencer added, Rossi standing beside him

JJ reacted fast “We’re getting medicine for y/n” Spencer frowned “Oh I can come. I know which one will work best.”

“No, no, no, we got it.” Garcia said quickly waving him off Spencer narrowed his eyes, clearly sensing something was off, but eventually nodded “Alright. See you later.”

The four of you bolted out the door.

Inside the store, you stood frozen in front of all the pregnancy test selections, overwhelmed.

“Why are there so many?” You groaned, scanning the shelves “These are easy to read.” JJ said, grabbing a Clear Blue and handing it to you

You grimaced “Do I have to put it on the register?”

Emily snorted “You literally profile murderers for a living, but you’re scared to purchase a pregnancy test?”

“No wonder you might be pregnant” Garcia teased “Were you too scared to buy condoms too?”

You shot them a glare “Hilarious.”

JJ rolled her eyes and grabbed the test from your hand “I’ll put it down.” you sighed in relief “Thank you.”

At the register, you all smiled stiffly at the cashier as he rang it up. He barely acknowledged you guys, but that didn't stop you from feeling widely judged.

Back at the BAU, the four of you rushed to the restroom.

“Pee on the stick, wait five minutes, and we’ll either celebrate or cry.” JJ instructed “Your call.”

You exhaled, feeling like you were preparing for battle “Alright.” Stepping into the stall, you did what you had to do, then set the rest down on the counter, turning it away from you

“Timer is set.” Garcia announced, your heart pounded, you knew what the results was going to be, and that terrified you more than anything

The four of you sat in silence on the restroom floor, gross, but none of you cared right now. The weight of the situation hung heavy in the air

“Time’s up.” Garcia finally said glancing at you with concern, you swallowed hard “I can't look.”

“Want us to?” Emily offered you nodded “Please”

JJ picked it up first. The three of them leaned in, their expressions unreadable. Then, without a word JJ handed it to you

Your hands trembled as you looked down

Pregnant

Your heart dropped, and a lump formed in your throat, but you refused to break. Not here, not now. Instead, you slowly nodded, forcing out a breath “okay”

“So…is this good or bad?” Garcia asked, studying your face, you opened your mouth, then closed it “I don't know.” you admit

“Are you going to tell him?” JJ asked gently, you nodded “eventually.”

Emily places a reassuring hand on your shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze “We’ll give you time to process, when you're ready, we’re here.”

Each of them gives you a small, comforting smile before slipping out of the restroom, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You leaned back against the wall, staring at the ceiling

“Why? Why? Why?” you whispered to yourself

This wasn't just about you.

This was about Spencer.

Your coworker.

A man you weren't even in a relationship with.

How the hell were you going to tell him?

You stepped out the restroom, exhausted and ready to be anywhere but here. Your body felt heavy, your mind even more so. All you wanted was to crawl into bed and shut the world out.

“Hey! We’re still on for tonight?”

The familiar voice made you stop in your tracks. Of course it was Spencer.

“Tonight?” You frowned, genuinely confused

He gave you a puzzled look “Movie night? At my place? Like it has been every Friday for the past six months?”

“Oh…right.” You let out an awkward laugh, and rubbed the back of your neck “Sorry, I’m just- are you sure you want me there? I don’t want to get you sick.” You say even though you knew what you had wasn’t contagious

“I’ll be fine.” He said with a small smile “I can disinfect everything.”

You hesitated before nodding “then, I’ll be there.” “Great.”

Silence settled between you two, he looked at you like he knew something was off, and part of you wanted to just say it right then and there.

“Well, I should get back to my files.” You said quickly making an excuse to leave.

Before you could slip away, he gently grabbed your hand “Are you sure you’re alright?” His voice was quieter now, more concerned.

“Yes, Spencer, I’m fine.” You forced a reassuring smile, but his eyes searched yours unconvinced

“Did I…do something?”

“What? No!” Your stomach knotted at the thought of him blaming himself “why would you think that?”

He hesitated “Just how you’ve been acting recently, I want to know if it’s because of me.”

You sighed, squeezing his hand before pulling away “It’s not you, I promise.”

He nodded but the uncertainty was still there “Okay.”

With that, you turned and walked back to your desk, diving into your files, forcing yourself to focus. For a couple hours, it worked. You got lost in the work, grateful for the temporary escape— until a voice whispered right into your ear

“So… who’s the father?”

You jumped, nearly knocking over your coffee “Jesus Garcia.” She grinned unapologetically “Sorry, did I scare the baby?”

You glared at her “No, you scared me.” She leaned in closer “Can I take a guess?”

You gave her a warning look “You don’t know him.”

Garcia scoffed “Sweetie, I know this guy. Anyone with a pair of eyes can tell just by the way you two interact. You guys are getting it on.”

Your face burned “Penelope.”

She wiggled her eyebrows “So, it is who I think it is.” You sighed, lowering your voice “You have to keep this a secret. Please.”

She immediately sobered, nodding “Of course, but you are telling him, right?”

You swallowed hard, glancing over at Spencer who was talking to Hotch across the room “Yeah.”

“I’m happy for you guys, no matter what you choose to do.” Garcia said warmly you gave her a small grateful smile

“Thank you. I just- I don’t know what to do. I know my options, obviously, but I don’t think I can go through with that. But at the same time, I don’t want to do this if Spencer isn’t ready. I don’t want to hold him back.”

Garcia shook her head “Look, he loves you. It’s so obvious the little things he does for you, the way he talks about you when you aren’t around. He is going to be ready.”

You let out a deep sigh, looking down at your hands “we’re not even together.” The admission felt embarrassing, like it somehow made everything worse

“Honey, you know Spencer. It takes him awhile, but he’ll come around to making it official. He’s just scared.” You exhaled leaning back into your chair

“Yeah…maybe.”

“not maybe— definitely” she corrected “Just give him time.”

The work day ended, and you had finally returned home, you threw yourself on your bed still in your work clothes but too lazy to change

You laid there deep in your thoughts until you drifted off to sleep

You weren’t sure how long you had been out but there was knocking at your door that woke you

You looked through the hole and seen it was Spencer, he looked worried “Spencer?” You question as you open the door allowing him to enter

“I was calling, you never answered. I got worried.” He tells you as he looks at you scanning to make sure you were alright “I fell asleep, I’m so sorry.” You apologize “no it’s okay. I’m just happy you’re safe.”

“Today was exhausting.” You admitted. He gave you a look of understanding “Can I do anything to help?”

Your cheeks warmed at the sincerity in his voice. He was always quick to offer whatever he could “No, it’s alright.”

“Are you sure? I give great massages.” He teased, a small smirk playing on his lips, you let out a small laugh “I’m sure, Spencer. How about we just watch a movie?”

He nodded, clearly liking the idea “what are you in the mood for?”

You thought for a moment. After everything today, you just wanted something comforting, something that reminded you of simpler times

“The Fox and the Hound.”

Spencer’s face lit up with a soft smile “That’s a good one.”

“Can you set it up while I change?” You asked “of course.” Spencer replied without hesitation

You stepped into your room, closing the door behind you. As you emptied your pockets your fingers brushed against the pregnancy test. You sighed, staring at it for a moment before tucking it away in your nightstand drawer

Once you had changed into something more comfortable, you walked back out, expecting to see Spencer in the living room but he wasn’t there. You glanced around and spotted him in the kitchen.

“I decided we needed popcorn.” He casually said as he poured some into a bowl “That’s a good idea.” You smiled

Settling on the couch, you grabbed the remote as Spencer joined you, sitting down beside you with the bowl in hand.

You pressed play and it didn’t take long for you to immersive yourself in the familiar comfort of the movie

The movie held your full attention, so much so that you barely noticed every time your hand brushed against Spencer's in the popcorn bowl.

It had always been your favorite movie as a kid, but now watching it while being pregnant, it felt different.

Then came the scene, the scene that always broke your heart as a child and even now as an adult

The little old lady drives off in her car, away from the Fox leaving him in the woods to be free. It felt like it hit you harder then ever before, and suddenly you couldn’t hold back the tears

Spencer turned his head, noticing the way your shoulders shook “Are you crying?” He asked softly “no.” You lied even as you wiped at your cheeks

You let out a small, embarrassed laugh, trying to play it off. Spencer shook his head, shifting to face you. Without a word, he reached out, gently brushing away a stray tear “Hey, it’s alright. It’s a sad scene.” he agreed

Your eyes met his “I think I could use that massage now.” a small smile played on his lips “I think you could too.”

You turned around, away from his gaze, and pulled your hair to the side giving him full access to your back. His hands found your shoulders, pressing in firmly. The tension in your muscles melted under his touch.

“You’re tense.” He murmured. You sighed, eyes fluttering shut “that feels good.”

“So, what’s been on your mind?” He asked your eyes snapped open “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been really stressed lately, today especially. You told me it’s not me, so… what is it?”

You hesitated, knowing this was the moment. You couldn’t keep avoiding it.

“Spencer.” You said, your voice barely above a whisper, his hands stilled “yeah?”

You turned to face him, fresh tears slipping down your cheeks. His stomach dropped, he didn’t know what you were about to say.

“Hold on.” You murmured, quickly getting up. You rushed to your room, grabbing the test from your nightstand. When you returned, Spencer was watching you carefully, his brows furrowed in concern

You sat down, heart pounding “I have something to show you.” You say as you hold out the test to him, Spencer took it hesitantly, his eyes scanning the results

His lips parted slightly “oh.”

That single word terrified you

You weren’t sure what he was thinking.

Spencer on the other hand, his mind was racing so fast he couldn’t form a single coherent thought. His fingers tightened around the plastic stick.

“Say something.” You say as you watch him intently, his head snapped up, eyes wide, searching yours as if trying to piece together a puzzle with missing pieces “You’re…pregnant.” He said

You nodded “yeah.”

Spencer swallowed hard, looking back down at the test, then back to you “it’s mines..right?” He questioned hopeful that you wouldn’t have been with anyone else “of course it’s yours.” You said quickly, feeling a strange mix of emotions, offense, anxiety, fear.

“Right. No, I-i didn’t mean it like that, I just-” he exhaled sharply, shaking his head as he tried to process “This is…a lot.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Spencer went quiet again, his mind clearly catching up to reality.

And then, finally, he looked at you “How are you feeling?” He softly asked “I don’t know. Scared, overwhelmed.” You admitted

Spencer nodded and reached for your hand, taking it in his, it felt warm and grounding.

Spencer hesitated for a moment before taking his hand away and reaching into his pocket, pulling out a small, folded piece of paper. He held it up between you.

“I’ve been carrying this around for a while.” He admitted “It’s a list… of all the reasons I think we’re perfect for each other.”

Your breath caught “Spence-”

“I’m not finished.” He said quickly, his eyes pleading with you to let him get it all out “I’ve been planning to tell you for so long. Too long. I should’ve said something the moment I realized it was you.”

You just stared at him, heart pounding, and he cleared his throat “I even calculated the probability of a successful relationship based on compatibility factors and shared interests.” He let out a small, nervous laugh

That made you smile. Without thinking, you reached for his hand, giving it a soft squeeze

“I want to be with you.” He said, his voice quieter now, more vulnerable “But don’t say yes because of the baby. Say yes because you want me the way I want you.”

His eyes searched yours “say something?” He whispered, you swallowed hard, then nodded towards the paper “Can I read it?”

Relief washed over his face as he handed it to you without hesitation “You just carry it around?”

He nodded, a small, shy smile tugging at his lips “It reminds me of you. So even when you’re not with me, it still feels like you are.”

Your chest ached, and you smiled at him with tears in your eyes “I want to be with you.” You say

Spencer had never felt anything like this before, it was overwhelming in the best way, pure happiness, the kind he never thought he’d get to have.

Despite the fear of the unknown, he knew one thing for certain, he was happy it was you he was going to experience this with.

He pulled you into him, the embrace feeling both familiar and new. This time, there was no more unspoken words, no more uncertainty. Just the two of you, together, exactly as you were meant to be

“So…do the girls know?” He asked, remembering how strangely they all had been acting at lunch, you nodded “They were with me when I found out.”

Spencer exhaled, his eyes softening “I wish I had been there.”

“I know.” You murmured guilt tugging at your chest “I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head “I just, I don’t want to miss anything. Not with you, not with this baby. Every doctors visit, every sick day, every moment, I want to be there.”

His sincerity made your heart ache in the best way “I want you to be there too.”

His fingers gently tilted your chin before he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours. It was soft, and lingering.

When his tongue traced along your bottom lip, asking for more, you gave in without hesitation.

After he pulled away, he smiled, his eyes full of wonder “I can’t wait to see you grow.” You brushed a hand over his cheek, returning his smile “I can’t wait to see you become the best dad.”

Should I make this into a mini series ? Where the next part can be them telling the team? 🤭

[sevsgiirl]

— sevika reassuring her anxious partner (soft and angsty headcannons)

synopsis: when you get into an argument with sevika, your anxiety gets the best of you. luckily, she knows how to get rid of your doubts.

note: this is my first time posting my hcs of sevika because I usually post long fics, but after seeing so many tiktoks of people mischaracterizing sevika recently saying she’d be the type to cheat after an argument (she would never) I just had to write this because I am not letting anybody smear my wife’s good name.

𖥔 sevika isn’t necessarily argumentative, but she is very stubborn. she doesn’t like picking fights with you, if she could avoid them as much as possible she would.

𖥔 however, she always feels the need to have the last word, and that riles you up.

𖥔 she never raises her voice at you and make it seem like she’s pissed, but her frustrations seep through.

𖥔 and she knows if the situation further escalates she’ll say something she’ll regret, so she’ll force herself to take a step back, look at you and say “we’re not doing this. I’m not in the right head space right now and clearly you aren’t too.”

𖥔 usually she’d want to fix the issue right away because she doesn’t like prolonging a problem when she knows simple communication could fix it.

𖥔 but when she knows it’ll take the whole day for the problem to be resolved, she’ll create some distance between you two so she can have a clearer mind before bringing up the issue again, and without any bias.

𖥔 however, when she tells you that she needs some time away from you for a bit, your anxiety levels skyrocket. you start scrambling for a way to make her stay and fix the situation but she just sees it as you wanting to argue again, so she shakes her head and goes for the door.

𖥔 “not now. I’m not angry but just give me some time.” she tells you before walking out the door and leaving you in your apartment alone, already feeling bad that the argument went too far.

𖥔 as a way to compose herself she’ll head over to the last drop to have a drink and play some cards, and people at the table would notice her brooding demeanor and ask if there’s trouble in paradise.

𖥔 she won’t answer, she doesn’t like taking advice from people especially when it comes to her relationship. she doesn’t like airing out her business, but people will chime in either way.

𖥔 telling her that as long as the love is still there, there’s nothing that either of you can’t overcome together. again, she stays silent but keeps it in mind.

𖥔 meanwhile, you’re back at home. it’s been a few hours and sevika still hasn’t returned and it’s getting really late.

𖥔 you start assuming the worst case scenarios. pacing back and forth as you wonder if she’s gotten tired of you already, and it doesn’t help when her past at the gardens come to mind.

𖥔 so your mind pivots to that, as bad as it sounds, your chest suddenly feeling heavy as the ugliest scenarios of her confiding in another woman’s arms plague your mind and you immediately feel tears forming in your eyes.

𖥔 you know she would never, but you always feared the worst. you’ve opened up to sevika about your trust issues and she always listened intently. her loyalty and devotion are her most notable traits, and you’d never doubt her. but still, during your darkest moments you can’t help but let those ugly thoughts win.

𖥔 as you imagine her seeking escapism in another woman’s body, you thought maybe if you had just shut up she wouldn’t go out doing god knows what so she wouldn’t be trapped in the same space as you.

𖥔 meanwhile, sevika is trying her best to walk in a straight line as she heads back home from the bar, mentally cursing herself for drinking too much because now, how else is she going to have a conversation about your argument earlier if she could barely form a coherent thought?

𖥔 it’s almost midnight by the time you hear sevika’s spare keys unlocking your door as she stumbles in, groaning as you step inside the living room and watch her walk in.

𖥔 “where were you?” you ask, your voice shaking but sevika didn’t pick up on your anxious state just yet.

𖥔 so she raises a hand to signal for you to give her a moment, but you being paranoid, take it a sign of her being annoyed with you.

𖥔 “I’ve had too much to drink, just give-“

𖥔 she stops dead in her tracks when she hears you sniffling, and it’s like all the liquor in her system got evaporated as she looks up and notices your watery eyes, fidgeting with your fingers and she immediately takes a step forward.

𖥔 “hey, what’s wrong-“

𖥔 “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to blow things out of proportion and I understand if you’re fed up with my shit, but sev, j-just…”

𖥔 her eyebrows furrow as you look down at your feet “hey, remember what I said earlier? I’m not mad. I just needed some space to clear my head.”

𖥔 your glossy eyes pierce through her grey ones as you gulp “I-I thought you got tired of me a-and…”

𖥔 she looks at you and encourages you to finish, but as you think about it you can’t help but feel embarrassed “it’s stupid.”

𖥔 “sweetheart, just tell me-“

𖥔 “I thought you went to the gardens.”

𖥔 all thought process quickly stopped working as she stares at you, dumbfounded. feeling her heart twist at the thought of you losing faith in her that you’d assume she’d go and sleep with another woman just because she was angry at you.

𖥔 she wasn’t even angry at you. she could never be angry. she was frustrated with the situation but she’d never have it in her to be mad at you and blame you for anything.

𖥔 she takes a step closer and extends her hand to palm your cheek, calloused but warm.

𖥔 “sweetheart, you know I’d never do that. ever.” she put both of her hands on your face and fixed you with a hard gaze “no matter whatever bullshit we go through, don’t ever think I’d stoop as low as betraying you like that. I wouldn’t even imagine doing that to you.”

𖥔 she swallows the lump in her throat. she wasn’t the type to get emotional but seeing your big doe eyes look at her, all pitiful and devastated, made her heart break. so with a sigh she pulls you against her chest and tightens her arms around you, running her fingers down your hair as she rest her chin on top of your head.

𖥔 “I love you. so fucking much. you could put me in a room with a thousand women and I’d still crawl my way out of there to get to you. nothing else matters. just you. you know that, right?”

𖥔 you sniff, nodding as you let out a shaky breath “I know and I’m sorry. I just got a b-bit paranoid.”

𖥔 she shook her head “it’s okay, it’s not your fault. I’m not going to be upset when I should’ve stayed here with you and worked things out. I’m sorry for making you go through that, baby.”

𖥔 after a few minutes you finally look up at her and gave her a wobbly smile.

𖥔 “it’s okay,” you nuzzled against her touch and sighed “I love you, sev.”

𖥔 she smiles, thumb caressing your cheek “I love you more.”

[poetticoo]

This speculation from @writingescapades about MC's bond with Rafayel made me think about the differences between a normal human and a lemurian, when it comes to 'bonding.'

As an avid enthusiast of magical beasts, it has come to my understanding that these out of the world bonds have been forged by superior beings, and are written in stone by destiny. That is of course, just a speculation. Considering the fact that Rafayel also got the blessing of the sea to forge a bond with MC, their relationship seems more like the case of Chosen Bond.

A lemurian perceiving someone might be the same as finding a eternal mate. If we look from a more narrower perspective, they were destined from the beginning to be together, since birth. If we look from a more broader perspective, MC is one of the few that may be compatible to Rafayel.

Reciprocation also plays a huge role to the forming of the bond.

Of course, as of now, we'll never know until more information about Lemuria is released.

Now on the differences between normal humans and lemurians, I find it a little funny how many think that will cause problems in their relationship. I would like to add my two cents, that many people underestimate humans and their emotional intelligence.

MC can't feel what Rafayel feels, since she doesn't have the ability to perceive, but does that really matter when she loves him?

In fact, I would go as far to say, it is massively a insignificant matter.

Because humans can love.

They love so much they're willing to die, to kill, to write poems.

We have seen it, not even in the game. Look at history, look around you.

Can you really say that human love is less than that of a lemurian, because their species can form a spiritual bond?

Rafayel loved MC, this is not up for debate. He would rather see the waters of Lemuria dry up before taking her heart, he would rather see his civilisation fall than see the fall of his beloved.

Do you really think MC's feelings, or a humans' for that matter, are any less prominent and/or intense in that matter? That they're incapable of such emotions?

They're the very same with just enough different functions.

In conclusion to my assignment, I would like to say again that many have underestimated humans and what they feel, what they can do, and how far they can go.

MC can fully love Rafayel as much as he does. Because again, for the bond to form, it needs reciprocating.

If you'd like to add more information in this post, reply down below, starting the comment with "Added Context:"

[storiesaplenty]

Orange

Simon "Ghost" Riley x f/Reader

Call of Duty Masterlist

Jelly Bracelets Masterlist - Simon "Ghost" Riley

This has not been proofread. Please enjoy, though.

Warnings: swearing. This story will eventually be smut.

WC: 856

©️ magicalbuttertarts 2025: do not repost or translate my work. Do not use AI on my work.This is the only place I post my work.

Orange - wearer is willing to kiss

You are old friend of Simon's, who he always visits when he is comes back home on leave. During one of your visits, he notices the new bracelets you won during a hen night. Knowing what the colours were always rumoured to mean, Simon snaps one, wondering what you will do. You decide the play along, due to your long-time crush you have on him.

I went back to my flat that night to do a bit of research.

I knew what most of the colours meant, but just had to double check the few I did not know.

When I could see what the colours blue, black and glittery blue meant, I could feel myself twitch in my boxers.

Hoping that she would be willing to do those with me.

I held up the yellow jelly bracelet in my hand, examining it, wondering what I should do with it.

I looked over at my keys, and before I knew what I really was doing, I tied it around the keyring, so I will have it with me wherever I go.

Yellow ♥︎ Glittery Purple - coming soon

I didn't see her the next few days as she had work, but she and I would randomly text, just like how we always did when I was back home, but I knew my time at home was almost up, and before just like I knew, I got the call from John.

"Got another one Simon. Tomorrow, 0500. You know where to meet." I sighed as I heard the dial tone.

I called her up and left a voicemail. "Gotta leave tomorrow love. You know the drill, Northern Soul, after you done work."

I knew she would be there. I never had to worry about her not being there.

When it was her break time, I looked at my phone and she gave me a thumbs up emoji.

I had a few hours to kill, so I took a nap and then got ready for my night with her.

◆

She called me to say she was running a bit late, and to order for her. I already knew her order, so I ordered it along side mine

"Sorry I am late Si. My boss was hounding me." I gave a grunt when she mentioned her boss. Who looks at her a bit to long.

Always complimenting her, but doesn't for his other employees.

The few times I picked her up for her job, I have seen the man literally close his eyes as she walks by and sniff the air.

I wanted nothing more than to grab him by his neck and squeeze until his head popped off, but I held myself back when I heard her say my name.

"It's alright love." I told her as she sat across from me.

"You always know what I like. I never have to worry about you ordering the wrong thing." She complimented as her food was placed in front of her.

I felt a bit of pride swell in my chest, but then again, I knew everything about her.

◆

"Lord, I am full. I shouldn't have had that milkshake." She playfully groaned as she rubbed her stomach as the two of us walked to my place, which we were not far from.

She takes the bus to and from work, seeing no need to take her car.

"You deserve that milkshake." I said to her, as the two of us walked in a leisurely pace.

"Do you know when you will be back?" She asked me, forcing me to stop mid-step, to turn and look at her.

"No, I don't know when I will be back." She knows this, but yet she asked, shocking me for a second, as this is the first time she is asking me.

"I just had a plus one to Nicole's wedding, and wanted you to come with me." I knew Nicole, and she is alright. So is her future husband, Joey.

I asked when the wedding was, and she told me. Still a few months away.

I grabbed her hands and held them between mine, running my thumb across her knuckles.

"I will try to be there." I promised her.

"That is all I ask." She smiled at me, and I gave her a soft smile back.

We didn't move as we looked at one another, forcing the people to walk around us.

I could hear them grumbling and muttering about the two of us being rude, but I wasn't moving.

"Simon, you didn't." She said as took a step back from me, holding up her arm to see which one I snapped.

I held up the orange one, making her rule her eyes as me.

"Come on love, this one isn't so bad."

It really isn't. It is one of the safer ones.

"I don't know what that one means, Si."

"Wearer is willing to kiss."

"Anywhere?" She quickly asked, and all I did was nod my head yes.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, gently pulling my face towards hers, and I wrapped my arms around her waist.

I was ready for what was about to happen, but then, she switched it up on me.

She moved her head just to the right and kissed the corner of my mouth, along a small scar I have there.

"Let's get going. You have an early morning tomorrow." She said to me as she stepped out of my arms.

"Drive me?" I asked her, knowing she has tomorrow off.

"Anything for you, Simon."

♥︎

Tag list: @skeletonsucker

[dragon-in-the-mountains]

Being pokemonkin can be really annoying sometimes when people place your worth on your stats and battle capabilities in competitive fights.

Like, maybe I'm cool cuz I'm a fancy electric tropical bird or a water-loving whale-dragon.

[nanstar200]

Erm what the fri- *gets shot multiple times*

(More info about my comical disappearance in the tags LMAO)

[mcytegg]

What were your thoughts on the devotions in today's stream?

ummm. okay so its complicated LMFAO cause like okay. u need to keep in mind my inherent bias for mapicc in general bc i recognize his wrongdoings and flaws, i just dont care in the slightest. like its still mapicc and i support his rights and wrongs always.

on one hand i do always enjoy dysfunctional and codependent relationships and friendships in general, like i love toxic codependency a lot so obviously i fw whatever the hell zam and mapicc have going on. i also just........support mapicc always. like as long as he is doing what makes him happy. or what he thinks will make him happy, i support him simply bc he is mapicc. even if he has dumbass fucking ideas, theyre usually funny anyways so yk its whatever as long as hes doing what he thinks is best for himself.

on the flipside, i do very much recognize theyre both treating each other very unfairly and i dont think theyre able to communicate everything they need to. it annoys me when people spam in chat "just communicate" bc mapicc avoids talking abt his own feelings and struggles openly in a Normal Way like the plague and zam himself cant FULLY and TRULY be honest abt how he feels w anyone bc he cant even do it w himself. there are so many feelings and thoughts zam has that he struggles HEAVILY to deal w on his own so him being unable to be completely honest w anyone else, even if unintentionally, just makes sense. like no matter who it is— whether its someone he trusts deeply like mapicc, someone who pushes and prods him like kab, or someone who is patient and gentle w him like derap. its not smt that can just be Solved just like that bc its BEEN an issue throughout multiple seasons.

i enjoy analyzing and picking apart the devotions dynamic bc i love them both as characters very dearly and i like their toxic thing. i like that theyre fucked up and codependent but i also recognize that its just very much not healthy for either of them, and i can understand why others may not fw their dynamic like i do since i specifically Enjoy codependendency as a trope LOL

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 60 Plot Posting

Hi again, dear void. So, about those complaints I've had in regards to the pacing... and others that I've been holding off on to see how they'd be handled... this is a long and mostly negative yapfest that rambles about the chapter itself and some general writing choices.

Bad TL of Editor's note stuff:

First Page: 会議-!! [kaigi-!!], "A meeting-!!" Last Page: 征くは修羅の道...!! [yuku ha shura no michi...!!] "Leaving for battle on Asura's path...!"

Asura are the demigods who fought against the Devas in Hindu and Buddhist mythology, by-the-by. Basically, the gist is that Chihiro and the Masumi are heading out on a road fraught with carnage and strife to face an extremely powerful foe. Oh, and Hokazono-sensei clarified that the squad are indeed called "Masumi" and not "Makizumi"- the latter is a typo.

Before I rant, I got something wrong with my interpretation of the Japanese version last week. In the last panel here:

"Controlled the war" is still not the greatest way to phrase the line, but mine was way off too since I got too hung up on the literal meaning of a particular kanji (駆ける [kakeru]). The actual meaning of what John's saying there is more along the lines that Samura's an experienced war veteran, which isn't as cool but if that's the more accurate translation then so be it. Please do not ever trust my translations to be correct and I'll do a better job of relaying that I'm not to be trusted if I try to interpret something.

What the Fuck, Man

Alright, so... I'll get this out of the way. This chapter was a huge let-down for me.

It did all the necessary things but the proportion of time spent on what and the way they played out made my concerns about the fast pacing boil over. Come on, Hokazono-sensei. Slow down just a smidge to let us maintain our bonds with the characters.

Slower chapters are necessary to make it easier for the reader to keep their suspension of disbelief and stay immersed! A great story is more than racing from points A through Z with just the bare minimum detail to give context for the next cool action scene. When people ask for the pace to slow down or for there to be more "filler", what they're really asking for are more meaningful times spent with the characters interacting with each other and getting in their heads. Letting some emotional moments linger, bonds get set up and maintained outside of tense moments and strictly necessary plot events, things like that.

After such heavy chapters back-to-back for about a month with Samura's betrayal, I think most of us need a breather. Just some time to sit with the characters to reflect on everything that happened and how they feel about it, you know? A lot of stuff happened and Chihiro especially has a lot to process. We even had a time limit of a week set up to do that- surely one day or even half of one could be given over to letting the cast regroup and take a breath on-screen before the next beat. But Hokazono-sensei seems allergic to giving us time for quiet reflection so now I'm more exhausted than the protagonist who died and came back to life a few hours ago. Yes, Chihiro rested for a few days off-screen before rolling out but we didn't get to see it. So it's not a break for us.

I've been holding back on criticism of this because I wanted to see where the story was going and what the author would do but the pacing is an outright flaw as of this chapter. It's something that I wish had been left behind in the action movie genre; that kind of pacing works for films because you're doing 90ish-minute installments every few years. But it's terrible for a weekly manga.

I will eat a whole stick of apple cinnamon incense if this is some long-con on the author's part to eventually slap Chihiro down for running on fumes and force him to sleep for a week or something. But I'm only making this bet because by now I think it's clear that we're in thriller action movie pacing for the rest of the series' run. It's just something that will have to be accepted as part of the experience going forward. For me, it's a drawback. An acceptable one since everything else is still holding my interest (for now) but a major one nonetheless.

What Did we Not Rest For?

An administrative meeting, a Shiba & Chihiro conversation, and Minimura exposition; Hakuri was so unimportant that he gave an offscreen info dump and went back to sleep, apparently. That's a hell of a lot- there was a ton of yapping and all of it was related to the plot and keeping the momentum up. That's not appropriate downtime! It's the manga equivalent of working from home early Saturday morning after pulling all-nighters at the office from Monday through Friday.

Anyway... this chapter was dense as fuck. I don't catch everything each week but damn I feel like I'm missing a lot of things to speculate on this time. I don't have the brain power to get every little thing until we start tying up some existing threads; hopefully what I caught here is good enough until more room can be made. Early Bird Kamunabi Conference

Azami! Good to see you again! Please do stuff more often to give me a heads up so I can start preparing defense statements against those traitor allegations.

First up, the Kamunabi convening at a little after 3 in the morning. Using Magatsumi's still on the table despite the sealing process being partially complete, obviously. And based on the discussion it seems like we'll probably meet Subaru, the Sushi Chef Bearer from Sushi Subaru next. Sorry girl Bearer fans. Hope Ms. Masumi in a suit can tide you over until then.

In terms of Kamunabi member insights, I'm really warming up to the mask Kamunabi guy that was impressed by Hiyuki's evaluation of Chihiro (and helped Kunishige hide after the war). He's the one who cares about the well-being of others the most out of everyone who we got to hear from. I'm thinking he's also a true believer in the mission with a more compassionate bent to his philosophy than Mutton Chops. Mutton Chops is pretty competent when he's not being a Rokuhira Hater, though.

Everyone else is pretty much on the practical discussion side to get us away from a bunch of talking heads as soon as possible. Except Ear guy- he's still as flippant as ever. I've still got my eye on you for corruption and/or negligent incompetence, buddy.

They all get failing grades for sending Chihiro back out again so soon, though. Guess we won't be dealing with the political side of the conflict just yet. Samura using Owl to monitor all of Japan for Enchanted Blade signatures is pretty spooky though!

Shiba and Chihiro

[Slaps Shiba] This bad boy can fit so much misguided grief in it.

The long conversation was a must-have and I'm glad it happened! I just wish it had gone a bit differently. Less Minimura, more just the two of them, you know? (Or solo Chihiro reflecting on things before Shiba comes in!) They've got a lot of complicated emotions going on and I really wanted to see more of Shiba's conflict over how he wants to protect Chihiro but also feels like he can't. It's been there in the background since Chapter 1 and this would have been a great time to dig into it a little more. He just watched Chihiro die in his arms and some stern faces are all he can muster?! After shaking and nearly crying for comedic effect over the stunts Chihiro and Hakuri pulled in Ch. 46? And busting into the hospital room with a yell in Ch. 11? Call it a nit-pick if you like but it just feels weirdly subdued from Shiba's end when he's normally so emotive about Chihiro's well-being. I guess this is the "heavy feelings make the comedy guy get serious" trope in effect. Boo hiss bad application, let this man be more emotional about his adopted nephew!

I guess I can at least appreciate that Shiba being subdued contrasted with Chihiro being the most outwardly emotional we've ever seen him (in the present) when he echoes the words his dad spoke to him:

Passionate, glossy-eyed Chihiro gets anything he wants forever and ever no questions asked.

CHIHIROOOO you need to rest and get some hugs, not go out and kill more people! But we're already well aware of why he's out here doing this, so... damn it, you get to go. Just don't keep accumulating wounds and stuff, OK? And don't freakin' die again!

I understand why Shiba didn't put up much of a fight when Chihiro asked for Enten back. He's driven by guilt just as much as the rest of the major characters this arc, especially over failing to protect Kunishige. Won't commit on the exact reasons right now but they're probably along the lines of "If I hadn't failed that day then Chihiro wouldn't feel the need to do any of this, so the least I can do is train him and catch him when he falls". This is good stuff honestly! I just wish we'd gotten to see a bit more of his inner thoughts.

The second biggest thing I disliked about this chapter was the implication that Chihiro finally heard at least some of the truth of things from Shiba there in the hospital room but we the audience still can't know about it yet. Which is fine for us- it's tough being teased about it for so long but I don't mind. What bothers me is that I think this is something that's important enough for us to learn about the same time Chihiro does. So we can feel the weight of whatever this monstrous cover-up was, you know? We're supposed to be on this journey with him, seeing the world from his point of view and coming to understand things as he does. Something this massive should have been dropped on the reader and the protagonist at the same time! I don't want the reveal relegated to a flashback in the middle of a fight- give it the full attention it deserves. But maybe the author's cooking again. No choice but to wait and see anyway.

Zombie Chihiro?!

HMM...

Samura spared Chihiro, which makes sense. He just wants Chihiro to stop before he goes too far down this path. But of course Chihiro's gotta have that clash of ideals and say "I'm a sinner too".

I did feel really bad for Chihiro again this chapter. Being reminded that he's just a nice 18-year-old kid pushing himself to be a killer out of grief and feeling like he can't turn back hits right in the kokoro. I hope we can see how a Bearer bonds with their sword since his contract with Enten was severed...! Samura can sense blades with contracts when they're in use so I wonder how Chihiro will adjust to that too. He's watching all of Japan for signs of enchanted blade activity so Chihiro might have to use Enten as a regular sword for a while.

Chihiro's rapid recovery could either be ascribed to Samura's precision in slicing him or some other kind of power, possibly from Tobimune.... HMM... do we really need more little details to chew on in this chapter? Sure, why not. Let's add another thing to ponder on while we wait for resolution on the all the other hanging threads too. At least this one's tied to some blade or Chihiro sorcery lore. If it's a Tobimune power, wouldn't Chihiro know about it? Unless it's a True Realm ability that hasn't been documented. More things to theorize over, yay...

It's also the last remaining shred of hope for Uruha being alive despite apparently being in autopsy. I'll admit, it's pretty damn fishy that Shiba can't get info and Chihiro refuses to believe the man is dead, so I guess I can't complain if my favourite goofy ronin dude comes back somehow. Would still prefer it if he was left definitively dead though because we have more than enough "but maybe?!" threads hanging around already.

Not to get too gruesome, but... if this is a flag that the Kamunabi are doing unethical things to Uruha's corpse, hoo boy. Oh man. I'm not ready for that kind of development despite being a horror fan.

The Sore Spot

Couldn't you have saved this for next chapter?

And then... a lotta Minimura exposition yap.

I feel like this conversation could have been pushed to the next chapter with Minimura stepping into the hospital room as the cliffhanger to end this one. It's just too much information overload and exposition when we've been begging for Chihiro to rest for months now in real time. Even if the in-universe timeline remained the same, it would have given us readers a lull while Chihiro had the heart-to-heart with Shiba and thought about everything that just went down. Heck we might have even gotten some time with Hakuri too.

The last page of Chihiro and the Masumi stepping out in suits was cool as heck but it didn't land due to how sick I am of these characters running from plot point to plot point. Now it's Chihiro and the ninjas out there doing Things and Stuff to find their answers from Samura... I'm interested in the conflict that will arise from Samura's old guards -basically his little family- fighting against him, don't get me wrong. It's got some very tasty parallels to Hakuri's story and resonates deeply with Chihiro's need to know the truth about the people he cares for so much. Again for the millionth time though, I just wish this had gone down a little bit differently.

Hakuri Where?!

There's a lot of baseless venting here and some raw, barely-edited thoughts- sorry in advance. This chapter is kind of an information overload (and I'll be honest, I got super petty over Hakuri's status being hand-waved away). I just don't have it in me to condense it all like usual. Sorry.

Oh, he's just drowning in self-hatred offscreen. Don't worry about it we gotta get going.

So, Chihiro's the MC and this is his story. Stuff with him will usually take precedence over other characters. But when you barely acknowledge Hakuri -ostensibly one of the most important characters in the cast other than Chihiro himself- in the aftermath of a series of major events that he was directly involved in like this, I gotta wonder.

I'd be happier if he wasn't mentioned or shown at all beyond still being alive because that would mean there was more to say that needed proper time to be allocated. But much like Chihiro waking up alone and the Shiba and Chihiro conversation, a prime chance for character and/or relationship quality time was skimmed over to keep the plot moving at mach five.

"Finer details not necessary."

I'm not saying this because I wanted HakuHiro hospital fluff that badly. I'm saying this as a Hakuri fan who's worried that he'll be reduced to an exposition and gag delivery tool. It's happened to some of my favourites before despite the prominent billing they got, and I hoped it wouldn't happen again here after the Rakuzaichi arc set Hakuri up to be second only to Chihiro in terms of narrative importance. But shoving him offscreen so we get updates about him indirectly -giving us no time to even see him wake up or express anything directly- feels like side-character treatment. You know, how Hinao was treated in Chapter 11 (where's she been lately?).

The best that can be hoped for is that he gives us a PoV that lets us explore the Kamunabi side more via his hospital stay somehow. Feels bad when the author clearly hates deviating from the action to do those kinds of scenes, so I wonder how much we'll actually see of Hakuri struggling and working through his issues while he's setting up plot points for other characters and the larger narrative. All while Chihiro's shoving him out of mind for one reason or another to keep focusing on the story events too.

Chihiro not checking in on Hakuri after he wakes up isn't a huge issue- that can readily be ascribed to guilt thanks to the panel of him recalling how he said he'd rely on Hakuri's help with a sad expression. He's worried in general too even if it would have been better if he'd been more proactive about expressing it. It's not like Chihiro has to wake up in a cold sweat and demand answers but shouldn't he be a little more concerned about his "equal partner"? Especially after all the emphasis put on how important they are to each other during the last arc?

Chihiro seems hesitant to broach the subject of Hakuri at all despite obviously caring a great deal.

The most generous interpretation I can make of this is that Chihiro and Hakuri are both too guilty to face each other right now. Chihiro's got a lot of other stuff going on anyway, so he can avoid thinking about the guilt of dragging Hakuri in to his mess by continuing on his mission. Meanwhile Hakuri's clearly thrashing himself something fierce. The panel of him curled up on the bed under Minimura's narration combined with him requesting the Masumi to help Chihiro in his stead is all we need to see based on what we already know- Hakuri is absolutely drowning in self-loathing right now. So he probably doesn't want to see Chihiro either even if he can get out of bed and walk himself over.

I don't want to go on a fuckhuge tangent about this but I've not got a lot of hope that these guys will interact or resolve the situation any time soon. It seems like very small potatoes compared to facing Samura, dealing with the Hishaku, and whatever's yet to come with the Kamunabi. Honestly, though? I just plain hate miscommunication drama. It's realistic here and very understandable from both sides but please, for the love of god, don't drag it out for the rest of the arc. Let them talk when Chihiro gets back or so help me God I really will think the author is pulling their relationship beats out of a generic BL tropes bin.

After Having Calmed Down...

Alright, alright. Enough of that. At least a few days passed between Chihiro waking up and rolling out again, we just didn't get to see it. So maybe they did meet up at some point. Or maybe the avoidance is to follow up on the "friendship" flags set up by Hiruhiko. Something about how they should still be relying on each other in situations like this instead of flagellating themselves in isolation. That's classic shounen, right? At any rate, we have Hiruhiko and Hakuri one-sidedly calling themselves Chihiro's friends for a reason, so we'll just have to wait and see what comes of that. I don't think that will end with Hakuri and Chihiro not being friends somehow.

Also, despite the dialogue about Hakuri not having much hope for healing his damage nerves, I'm pretty sure he will at least partially recover at some point. I just hope it's not entirely off-screen. The vast majority of character development in Kagurabachi happens through combat and the direct lead-up to the fights, which is a big strength of the series. But that also means that characters who can't fight don't get much on-screen development.

Hakuri's going to have some time to examine his circumstances in a future chapter after all the set up he got earlier in the arc. His thing will probably be learning to value himself; most likely in the sense that he's not just a tool, but a person. Hard to see how that will happen while he's stuck in recovery mode though. Will the author change tack and start having more scenes of talking heads and political drama to explore between action scenes? Seriously doubt it. So either Hakuri gets put on an expedited recovery schedule of his own or he'll be out of the story until he's useful to Chihiro('s story) as a sorcerer again. ...Not great vibes with so much of his trauma being tied to "utility=worthiness of love" but maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised? I hope?

It'll be really tough for him to learn his lesson for this arc if he's burnt out after failing to save someone he swore to protect, too. A day after finally proving himself to be a genius of rare talents capable of doing so no less. God this poor kid. He finally got everything he wanted and deserved and lost it all... well he didn't lose Chihiro and Shiba, but he probably thinks he deserves to right now. Especially since Chihiro seems to have left without seeing him even once.

Which would have just made his guilt worse anyway because of what happened to him and Uruha. Hakuri summoned Chihiro back in a panic and got him killed too! And now he's totally burnt out and may be forever, so he can't even try to make up for it by training his power and "earning" redemption by becoming stronger and saving more lives. The last thing he did with his abilities was fail to save a life he promised to protect and get his friend killed. He was already being crushed under the weight of what happened to Ice Lady and now...

Huh, wouldn't that kind of be a good point to make though? That you have to forgive yourself before the guilt eats you alive. Else you'll never stop self-destructing... wonder if the author will go that route for Hakuri and/or Chihiro.

... Man. The feelings I have about Hakuri are really messy and way too closely tied to my own life experiences, so it's hard for me to be objective about him and how I want him to be handled. His journey mirrors my own in so many ways and made this series a ride or die for me based on how he was written last arc. In terms of Current Events, though? From a neutral standpoint, I think we'll get scenes of him interacting with other characters for side-plot reasons while the focus is on Chihiro's exploits. From a personal standpoint, I want in-depth explorations of him like we got in the Rakuzaichi arc. I want to see more of that, as much as possible. Even if it means deviating away from cool spreads and Chihiro doing awesome stunts more often. (In other words: the author's priorities and mine probably don't overlap right now.) So even though I know objectively that it's just not time to get back to Hakuri yet, I'm anxious that even when we do it won't be handled with grace because he can't be directly tied to the action scenes.

There are a lot of complicated thoughts about how Chihiro interacts with people in general, too... Hakuri's not the only one who does the emotional heavy lifting when it comes to depicting the relationship between them. A lot of character screen time is devoted to establishing bonds and such with Chihiro but rarely from Chihiro's point of view in return. He's completely consumed by plot things and we don't know how he feels about the people close to him directly for the most part. Hakuri is actually the lucky one who got a whole few sentences of Chihiro's inner thoughts acknowledging him as someone stronger that one time! Everything else is left to context and facial expressions -which is appropriate for a relatively reticent MC- but it would be nice get in his head to hear what he thinks about Shiba, Hakuri, and others more often.

Normally I work all that feelings stuff out in a private draft, but I'll leave it here in case you were starting to think I was anything more than a sad sack mad man, dear void. Depending on how next week goes I might not post; maybe not until after New Year's if life keeps being difficult. Be kind if you're given a choice, okay? Take care out there.

[starryoak]

sometimes I’ll see a pairing that I so desperately wished I liked, but when I look at it, it’s like. Everyone shipping it seems to treat it like a cute sweet normal pairing, when it seems blatantly obvious to me that it would be a complete trainwreck that would crash and burn sooner than coalesce into a healthy relationship, considering the characters actual canon personalities.

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

I didn't know Batman Begins was filmed in Chicago

[spacedlexi]

trying to keep all my clemviminnie thoughts contained until i get to episode 3 but

its hard

[inkyu]

Some re-draws I did :33 (+June (June is just for funs heheheh) :00)

idk if I should do the rest bc this is all I could finish up

[orcelito]

ok not really an analysis post but i cant get over these pages (from trigun chapter 10)

vash just looks so happy & peaceful basking in the atmosphere of the geo-plant. & considering this happens after we see him call the plant on the sand steamer "sister" & we get that shot of him with the wings, we as readers are supposed to know that this is more than just a normal dude enjoying nature

he reaches down, touches the grass, and says with complete certainty that this is a geo-plant, just like from his memories on the ship. it makes me wonder whether he can sense the plant in the vicinity & that's the source of his certainty here.

either way, he's so happy just being here, experiencing the atmosphere of the geo-plant. probably feels like home to him.

[2soft2sensitive]

still lowkey kinda mad that someone put that Argo and Fitz were dating as like, a supposedly canon thing on the TAZ wiki, so the entire time I was listening to it I was waiting for them to get together and then it just. never happened and I was so completely confused 😂😭