#i think bea deeply cares about her and has learned a lot about her

[starryoak]

sometimes I’ll see a pairing that I so desperately wished I liked, but when I look at it, it’s like. Everyone shipping it seems to treat it like a cute sweet normal pairing, when it seems blatantly obvious to me that it would be a complete trainwreck that would crash and burn sooner than coalesce into a healthy relationship, considering the characters actual canon personalities.

[cricketnationrise]

Congratulations 🎉 500 followers is amazing!! Lots of people out there with good taste 😉

My prompt:

2205

Catherine

Backyard of the Austin farmhouse

Into the Mystic

okay gonna be honest here. i have no idea what happened here. like, i really adore what i wrote, but i have NO EARTHLY IDEA where it came from or if it's even at all close to what you were aiming for. lots of catherine/arthur feels ahead and like, a little magical realism? i guess? anyway here's wonderwall...

read the rest of the ficlets here

❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

10:05pm, texas farmhouse

It’s odd, really, that an ocean and half a continent away from their shared home, that Arthur’s spirit feels so strong here. Here, in Henry and Alex’s backyard, deep in the heart of Texas.

The boys—they’re still boys, no matter that they’re closer to forty than thirty—are inside, cleaning dishes, rinsing out bottles. Catherine can see them through the window above the sink, laughing and chatting easily before Alex flicks water in her son’s face. The affronted look on Henry’s face sends her right down memory lane, a slideshow of the dozens of times she and Arthur did the same thing playing in her mind.

It took a while, a shove from Bea, and a lot of therapy, but the memories no longer hurt her, no longer make her feel like her soul is being ripped away every time she thinks about her husband. Now, after everything, she can let the memories pass through like a draft through windchimes; she might get knocked around, but what sweet melodies they make.

A cool breeze makes Catherine pull the quilt Alex draped over her earlier closer around her shoulders and she looks out over the dark backyard. The only light is from the stars, the crescent moon, the dying embers, and the occasional lightning bug. Catherine inhales deeply, breathing in the smell of the earth, of burning wood, of the lingering scent of the beer that Alex knocked off the picnic table earlier. The sound of crickets chirping is accompanied by grass rustling in the breeze and the quiet pops of the fire. It’s peaceful here, in this place where there’s more sky than anything else—a sky big enough for dreams and memories alike.

Arthur would have loved it here. He would have been first in line to learn how to work the grill from Alex. He would have laughed easily at their son’s carefree antics. He would have been their biggest supporter in buying this place. Catherine knows that their siblings were confused, Alex’s parents were a little more understanding, but Arthur— Arthur would have seen the house for what it is: a sanctuary, a place to recharge, a place where they can truly be themselves, stripped of the pressures of both royalty and politics.

She knows that they chose Texas for Alex, but the feel of the place has more than a little to do with Henry; Catherine finds echoes of the cottage in Wales around every corner. The farmhouse is a monument to the love they have for each other and to their families. The house is so full of affection and care that one could almost taste them, almost trip over them on the way to the kettle. 

Another breeze sweeps through the yard and Catherine shivers, but not from the chill this time. She can feel something—someone—here with her now. She gets a whiff of Arthur’s cologne, a faint trace of pine and leather that always made her feel safe. She holds her breath, and she can faintly hear Arthur’s laugh, bright and full, over the sound of her heartbeat. Impossibly, she feels the weight of an arm across her shoulders, tucking her close into the faded imprint of a warm chest.

The back door opens and the boys’ chatter spills out along with the kitchen light. Their presence breaks the spell the night was weaving around her, but between more jokes and reminiscing, between dessert and a cup of decaf, Catherine feels ghostly fingers slip between her own, and hold tight.

[sinsbymanka]

Writing Tag Game

Okay listen I’m on vacation XD hence why I’m ignoring everyone’s tags/taking forever to respond. But I’ve been tagged in this A LOT and I really liked it/wanted to do it so thank you to everyone who tagged me (oh my god I’m so sorry if I missed one of you there were SO MANY): @noire-pandora, @in-arlathan, @thevikingwoman, @morganlefaye79, @elveny, @kunstpause, @pikapeppa

I’m not tagging anyone because I’m tagging everyone since I’m too lazy to find my tag list (I’m on VACATION). If you’ve not gotten tagged and wanted to do this, say I tagged you. 

How many works do you have on Ao3?

147 - I have 145 linked to my profile and two in the anonymous collection. 

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

1,468,248. Almost 1.5 million!! 

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Of Miracles and Heroes (FenHawke, Cadash/Varric, Varania/Blackwall): 269

Interspecies Relationships Have Their Ups and Downs (Shakarian): 145

Don’t Make it Hawkeward (Varric/Hawke): 135

The Ambassador’s Vices (Josephine/Adaar): 111

The Girl with the Arrow Tattoo (Cadash/Varric): 101

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do (but - to be honest - it takes me FOREVER). I love comments. It’s so much easier to not leave comments than leave comments, so every time someone leaves one I’m blown away. I feel like - for leaving me a comment - you’re definitely owed an answer! I do apologize that it takes me awhile though - I am very bad at answering because they mean a lot to me and I get easily overwhelmed by the AO3 inbox I don’t know why. Blame anxiety. 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I’ll be honest, I don’t like angsty endings so I don’t have many of them. By far the angstiest ending I have is Flowers, Lies, and Forgiveness. This is a Bianca Davri/Varric Tethras fic set during the final act of DA2. I wrote it from Bianca’s POV - showing Varric unraveling under the pressure of Kirkwall and Bianca’s complicated feelings about infidelity to her husband who clearly cares about her as well. I wrote it for @hollyand-writes who always lets me lean into the tragic “fucked upness” of the pairing when I’m feeling like making Varric suffer.  

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending

I prefer happy endings so almost EVERYTHING has a happy ending. My favorite endings, so far, are for Cheating the Dread Wolf, which is my Varric/Cadash/Solas polycule (or as I like to refer to it - Solas has a dwarf kink) and The Viscount’s Mistress which is my Hurt/Comfort Cadash/Varric Trespasser bullshit. 

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I have not written crossovers - but I am very into AUs in another setting that belongs to a different fictional universe. Most recently I got back into my Downton Abbey bullshit and wrote Flappers for Fen’harel which is basically a Downton Abbey AU Solas/Cadash and I’m not taking comments about the outrageousness of it. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep. Honestly though? Over the two years I’ve been active in Fandom, the shitty comments can be counted on one hand and usually came from the same people over and over again, who are easily blocked, and should stop seeking out clearly labeled content they don’t like. Me and my work are not for everyone - that’s REALLY okay. I’ve blocked people for no other reason than making things I don’t like - that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

GOD DO I.

I am extremely sex and kink positive. Because of this - a lot of my work involves sex in some way or another. I think sex is a beautiful part of many (although not all) relationships, and that it’s frequently glossed over in mainstream media (particularly queer, kinky, and polyam sex). 

This ranges from sort of vanilla slow burns (My Cole/Bea fic, Compassion for an Assassin, has smut which hasn’t been posted yet. It’s Cole’s first time and is fairly vanilla and romantic, and occurs approximately 40k into the fic) to some pretty dubious consent near 24/7 dom/sub dynamics with BDSM kinks (I’ve written JUST as much of the Sereda/Gorim problematic smut as @jarakrisafis has in our series Forced Moves). 

There’s very few kinks I’m not willing to touch at least to try out - even if I end up not liking them. And the ones that aren’t for me are 100% allowed to exist and I will fight for them to the bloody end. My only recommendation is CLEARLY labeling your shit and not being afraid to add a tag if someone asks you to. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of? I’ve seen ideas I’ve tried on picked up by other people - but I don’t consider that stealing and it’s hard to trace “who has been inspired by who” because we ALL have been inspired by thousands of other people and frankly more stuff for me when I pull you over to my weird AUs and rarepairs. 

I also think that’s a huge part of not getting stolen - I’ve got so much weird niche shit that only a couple people read that stealing from me is going to most likely be caught IMMEDIATELY the audience is so small. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I’ve got some co-written secret smut with @blarfkey which almost nobody has seen, I’ve borrowed @tightassets Hawke, Lavellan, and Shepard for fics that she has illustrated, borrowed @tuffypelly‘s Adaars for some great fics, and my most ambitious project - the Forced Moves series with @jarakrisafis. It started out as us just exchanging gifts back and forth but we’ve wrangled it into Gambits and Countergambits, an Aeducan-origin prequel, that I’m VERY proud of. 

I love co-writing very much, but it’s very important to find the right partner and for it to be someone you trust completely. 

What's your all time favourite ship?

This is a stupidly hard question because I am, at heart, a multi-shipper. 

I love Varric/Hawke and Varric/Cadash. I’m also a sucker for Solas/Cadash. My fandom pool noodle is Varric/Cadash/Solas which I adore, and I’m very fond of Cole/Cadash. 

Most recently I’ve been DEEP in Aeducan/Gorim Saelac, Bhelen/Rica/Vartag, and Aeducan/Brosca feels. Dwarf origins are the best origins in my opinion and those characters are PERFECT. 

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I fully plan on finishing everything. My writing style changed a lot, for the better, in a short period of time. I need to integrate my old style/new style and had to get a pep talk about how to do that. Now I’m ready to try as soon as I finish Compassion for an Assassin. 

What are your writing strengths? 

I write very sexy, hot smut. I also really like playing with character voice and making sure I get them “right” so I do a lot of experimenting before publishing a new character for the first time. 

I struggle to write action scenes - it’s like pulling fucking teeth - but people really LOVE my action scenes and they read well. So that’s something I’m proud of even if it feels like doing fucking pull ups. 

What are your writing weaknesses?

I never learned anything. My experiences with English and writing teachers were overwhelmingly negative. I’m unsure if I’m just not cut out for classes or if they were that bad, but I always left feeling like there was one “right” way to do it, and everything I liked was “bad”, so what was the point of “learning” anything? 

It turns out there’s this very pompous, pretentious thought process in writing where people “assume” things must be done, but GOOD writing teachers teach you the rules and then how to break them. I either never had a good writing teacher or got too intimidated to give them a chance before bouncing. 

So I’m exceedingly self-taught. I lack the vocabulary to discuss plot structure, characterization, grammar, etc. I instinctively know most of these things based on trial and error and reading, but I didn’t learn them and I miss a lot of nuance in the rules, but until recently I was still too intimidated and unsure of myself to admit that or take it seriously. 

So - my defense mechanism is NOT taking ANYTHING seriously. If my writing is a joke to me, it’s gotta be a joke to everyone else, but that’s been a shield to hide behind instead of being thoughtful about things. I’m here to have fun, yes, but there’s nothing wrong with learning a technique to the art. 

I’ve learned - mostly thanks to @blarfkey who is an amazing person and a wonderful teacher - that I am a good writer based on my self-teaching. And being intimidated of people who throw around impressive sounding words is a weakness that I am working on. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 

Use sparingly and with good reason. It should be short and explained later or clear from context. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter on message boards back in the fucking day. Thankfully none of it exists anywhere anymore. 

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This is such a sappy answer and I’m so sorry. My favorite things have been written for and because of people I love and care about. When I read them, I’m not just reading the story, but remembering the relationships I’ve made and how important they are. 

So, my top three fics for THAT reason: 

1. Cheating the Dread Wolf - written for @blarfkey who inspired the idea and ruthlessly encouraged me to make it happen. This fic was so healing for me because it heavily features Fatherhood within it - and I lost my father in June 2020. I don’t know if I’d have been able to do it without her and it was so important for me to do. 

2. Gambits and Countergambits - written with @jarakrisafis and the culmination of a years worth of gifting shit back and forth and crafting a shared universe. The worldbuilding, smut, relationships, EVERYTHING about this fic is so deeply and passionately cared about by both of us and to our knowledge it is completely, totally unique.  

3. Relentless, Ridiculous, and Rakish - one of my only primarily gen-fics focusing on a forming brother/sister relationship between Maria Cadash and @tuffypelly‘s Otsar Adaar. I very much enjoyed writing it for her <3 

And then my overall favorite fic: 

The Viscount’s Mistress: I have a lot of opinions about how fanfiction treats the anchor’s meltdown and the aftermath. It’s one of the things in DAI that resonated with me SO much as someone who lives with chronic pain and a disability. I loved the fact my OC was in the same shoes and STILL saving the world. This is very much a fic that explores all the dark sides of trauma, pain, and the mental health effects of it. But it ends on a happy and hopeful note.  

[esotericakit]

Fancy ranting about why you love kit snicket?👀 tbh I never found her character that compelling but I’m extreme open to changes of opinion hhh? pls feel free to ignore this hhgkkgkg

oh my god i’m so sorry i’ve been super busy I only just saw this but ahhh I love this question ((also sorry if some of thisk doesn’t make sense, i just got off a 7 hour bus ride and I am sleep deprived)). also a tw here for some discussions of painful stuff like death, loss, grief, implications of suicidal thoughts (nothing graphic)

okay so that’s valid bc she doesn’t get a lot to work with in tpp BUUUUUT what you do get is very rich. so basically it’s all tied in with vfd and what they’ve done to the sugarbowl gen. every member of the sugarbowl gen has been ripped from their family extremely young and recruited into this organisation, forced into life threatening situations, kept from loved ones for long periods of time (like kit and lemony in atwq) and have sort of convinced themselves, to varying degrees, that it’s important because the organisation is important. with lemony, he’s disillusioned and disappears after heartbreak. with beatrice and bertrand, they decide to pull away and leave. with jacques, he buries himself so deeply into his work with vfd so that he doesn’t have to reckon with what they did to him. and then you have kit.

with kit, I think she isn’t as sold to vfd as jacques and can still be somewhat critical of it, but also recognises that she’s trapped and always will be at their beck and call, and it’s not easy to break out from this illusion of the mighty organisation she’s a part of. she’s a quick thinker, she’s a mechanic, she’s resilient, she’s quick-witted, she’s as good a volunteer as they come, and so they exploit that and use her gifts (like building the queequeg and having her make the poison darts). for the most part, she buys into vfd’s bullshit, but i think it’s a sort of defence mechanism where she knows that resistance is going to be harder than compliance, so she puts her head down and does the work.

and this leads her to do things that she maybe wouldn’t have done of her own free will, like aiding in the murder of olaf’s parents. we don’t know exactly what kit and olaf’s relationship was like, but from what’s given in their interaction in te, i think they were young sweethearts, i think kit did genuinely care for him, and i think that it was vfd that ordered the murder, and not beatrice and bertrand, as many people have implied. so, by giving beatrice and bertrand the darts, she chooses the organisation over her relationship, and it can’t have been an easy choice. this then re-ignites the schism, olaf becomes a firestarter and kit has to watch as her brother is framed by olaf for crimes he didn’t commit.

and then lemony dies, or so she thinks. i’m of the mind that kit never learns that her brother is actually alive, and dies thinking she lost him. and we know that family is one of the most important things to the snickets; “we snickets look out for their own”, and I imagine kit going beside herself trying to find ways to protect lemony from all the attacks, the frame jobs, the rumours, only to have it be too late, and she’s lost her brother forever.

and so she’s left there, mourning lemony, and all she has left of her family is jacques. and she loves jacques but his first priority is vfd, it’ll always be vfd. she has beatrice and bertrand, but they’ll leave to the island soon, and they’ll leave vfd after that, and be largely out of her life for good.

she starts building the queequeg and at last, her vfd work seems to be doing some good. she meets ink, monty’s latest discovery, and at last, it seems that other members of vfd are doing some good. and then she hears about the medusoid mycelium, and the illusion of vfd cracks a little bit more. she desperately tries to stop gregor from creating the mycelium, only for that to fail. another loss.

then, we don’t know the nature of kit and dewey’s relationship so again, going off what we have with the fact that she is pregnant when we meet her and that dewey’s last word is “kit”, not to mention the way that she explicitly asked about dewey’s wellbeing when she meets the baudelaires on the island, the implication is heavily that she and dewey are romantically involved. and I think she found a lot of solace in dewey. dewey, in his own way, had lost a lot, from his parents to his brother (joining the firestartera), to his own identity, all to vfd, and he understood where she was coming from in terms of being disillusioned but also being trapped.

and then the baudelaire fire happens, and it’s very clear to everyone that olaf was involved (whether he actually was or not is a different debate). so this is now 3 people who kit has loved that olaf has had a hand in their deaths. someone she loved killing other people she loved, and it’s the most painful thing.

we don’t know where kit is for the events of asoue, but regardless, she has to hear how other associates and friends have died or been killed at the hands of olaf, and each one hurts more than the last, because she can’t stop or slow down how many people she’s losing, and I think there’s an element of not being able to help but blame herself for his actions, because if she hadn’t helped kill his parents, maybe he wouldn’t be doing this.

and then jacques dies, and it’s the biggest blow yet. she just lost the last member of her family she had left, and she can’t cope, she stays in bed and decides that, despite dewey, despite her child, she’ll never leave her bed again.

what does make her leave, however, is vfd business; the message from quigley. she knows that she can’t even take the time to mourn her brother, she has to keep moving, and the pressure to carry the whole “good” side of vfd, to continue what her brother started, is on her shoulders, and that’s immense.

and so that’s when we meet her in tpp, and she is a broken person. she has lost so many people, been put through so much, had her entire worldview and foundation turned upside down, and she’s still doing all of this work, putting her life on the line over and over again, for an organisation that has done nothing but take things from her and hurt her, but there’s absolutely nothing else she can do. she’s pregnant and she can’t allow herself to be happy or excited about that because she just doesn’t have it in her. all she knows is that she has to get through this as quickly as she can, losing as few people as she can. her conversation with the baudelaires is interesting too, and is so exemplary of how she’s mourning; she remembers little details about beatrice and bertrand (like the feathers on bea’s shawl) and reminisces about how much the children look like them, and you can tell that it’s extremely painful to go through

she then leaves the baudelaires and risks her life again trying to rescue the quagmires, and it’s unclear whether it was a success or not but regardless, when she finally pulls herself up onto that stupid book raft she insists on making, she’s so so so so tired. she’s in labour, she doesn’t know what’s happened at the hotel denouement, she doesn’t know whether she’ll return to the city and find more destruction or not. i think the only thing stopping her from giving up while on that raft is the thought of her child and dewey, so she holds on.

she washes up on the island and the baudelaires are there, which means they’re alive, so that’s something. but then she hears that dewey’s dead. that the hotel went up in flames. that all that’s waiting for her in the city is more pain and more loss. and that’s the final blow, that’s the moment that she knows that there is nothing can happen that can repair the damage created by what’s been taken from her. she refuses the apple, citing fear that it would harm the baby, but I think the truth is that she couldn’t bear to consider continuing her life after all that’s happened, even if it means sacrificing a life with her child.

and then olaf shows up and he rescues her from the raft and she’s suddenly face to face with the reason for so much of the loss she’s faced. it was him who killed so many of her associates, her friends, her brothers. and she doesn’t forgive him, because she knows she isn’t big enough to do that. we can also hypothesise about whether or not olaf could be the baby’s father (i like to headcanon that she doesn’t know either way but it’s either dewey’s or olaf’s, and the stress of that makes this moment even harder). but she also doesn’t have the energy to be angry at him. she knows these are her last moments, and she knows that olaf was a victim of vfd, just like she was. so she touches his tattoo and chooses instead to recite poetry, because it’s easier than being angry, it’s easier than hating him. he recites poetry back, and then dies. and despite the fact that he’s hurt her so much, she did care for him once, it’s one more person she’s lost, when she didn’t think she had anyone else to lose.

and then she gives birth to her daughter, using the last ounces of strength she has left. it’s a horrendously sad thing, because i think she could have had the capacity to love her daughter, to be a good mother, but the pain won out and she stopped being able to want to help herself, if that makes sense. so she gives her daughter life, the only thing she has left to give her, and then dies.

I think it’s so staggering to think about this person, who could have lived a life full of colour and fire, and see her completely beaten down to what she ended up as in tpp. she’s a prime example of what vfd does, she’s the last one standing of her generation, and the toll that takes on her is immense. i think the juxtaposition of her recklessness and her grief against the fact that she’s pregnant and about to become a mother is even more heartbreaking. she’s such a compelling character and so gorgeously written, even though what we see of her is so brief. she’s a person who so desperately wants autonomy and control over her situation, things she’ll never truly have, so she does reckless things that endanger her life, to get that control back and because she truly stops caring about her well-being.

and it’s a little comforting i guess? i tend to project onto kit a lot because of some of my own life experiences and losses and i understand where she comes from a lot of time time and it’s such a difficult place and my heart just hurts for her a lot

i’m sorry that this was so long, i got carried away lol thanks for the question though!!

[scarlettroubles]

2, 3, 8, 13, 29 and 47 for Eileen? Sorry, I wanna know more about her tho X3

I’ve already answered some of these questions previously but I’ll answer them again since I feel like a lot has changed since then so here we go.

2. What house are they in and why do they belong there?

Eileen was a hatstall for 12 minutes because the sorting hat couldn’t choose whether to put her in Gryffindor or Ravenclaw. She had the courage, nerve, and daring attitude of a Gryffindor and the wit, wisdom, and creativity of a Ravenclaw but was ultimately placed in Hufflepuff because out of what all the four houses valued and looked for in a student, Hufflepuff is the house whose values resonated the most in Eileen. Not to say Eileen doesn’t possess the traits of a Hufflepuff because she possesses the traits of being hard-working, loyal, and just but what really put her in Hufflepuff was her want not to be a great person but a good one.

3. What’s their patronus? Why?

Eileen’s patronus is the same as mine on Pottermore which is a Runespoor haha. I think this summary from @hogwartswelcomesyou sums it up:

The runespoor is a creature original to the Harry Potter universe. It is described as an orange serpent with black stripes and three heads. Each head corresponds to a different personality – the left head is the planner (which comes up with the runespoor’s ideas), the middle head is the dreamer (which tends to get lost in its own daydreams and remains the most stationary of the heads), and the right head is the cynic (which critiques the ideas of the other two heads). Apparently it is not uncommon to find a runespoor with only two heads, as sometimes the first and second heads will bite off the third because it’s being too critical, though a two-headed runespoor will not live very long.

Snakes, of course, are a pretty standard symbol to associate with Slytherins, being symbolic of change, fertility, healing, energy, and the duality of good and evil. But more interestingly it has been hypothesized that runespoors in particular are representative of writers – one part of the writer is the logical planner, one part is the imaginative center that dreams up all the magical flights of fancy, and the last part is a never-ending self-critic who never sees their writing as good enough.

Having a Runespoor Patronus means you find comfort in push and pull. You are a multi-faceted and complex person (appropriate to a Slytherin!) and you don’t just listen to one internal voice, you listen to several…and that’s okay! You know that way that you’ll never be fenced in or pigeonholed. That flexibility and versatility is reassuring because you’ll be able to face whatever comes your way. This is what the runespoor appears to tell you – you have the energy and the capability to think your way out. It is a healing presence that says just what you need to hear – whether it be encouragement, idealism, or a good old smack of reality – to keep fighting.

8. Is there anyone at Hogwarts that they can’t stand?

At first it was Merula since in the beginning she made sure her first few years at Hogwarts were absolute hell but they eventually become proper rivals and later on allies. Second was Diego because she wasn’t the biggest fan of him constantly flirting with her even if she knew it was all in good fun and just his way of being friendly. And then there was Beatrice Haywood. Eileen knows that Beatrice is just acting all emo and pessimistic because of unresolved and undealt trauma from being stuck inside a portrait for her entire first year at Hogwarts but Bea constantly talking about how “Hogwart’s is doomed”, telling her to “find the vaults faster” and her saying how much she hates her sister because she’s too coddling when Eileen herself would love to have her big brother Jacob give her the time and day instead of just pushing her away to protect her from a danger she is already deeply entangled with just really gets on her nerves.

13. What are their talents? Mundane or magical.

Eileen’s good at drawing and sings from time to time. She also knows how to play the guitar and ukulele. Her parents tried having her learn the piano but Eileen had a hard time learning to read sheet music and wasn’t all too interested in learning the piano. Magic wise, Eileen has a strong connection towards magical creatures particularly felines and she’s working hard to become a magizoologist.

29. What’s their wand type? What does it symbolize about them?

Eileen’s first wand is Beech wood wand with a phoenix feather core,11 inches and reasonably supple flexibility. Beech wood wands pair with witches and wizards if young, wise beyond his or her years, and if full-grown, rich in understanding and experience. Beech wands perform very weakly for the narrow-minded and intolerant. Eileen is wise and pretty mature for somebody her age and this is because Eileen was forced to grow up rather quickly. After Jacob went missing, her mother went into a deep grief and her father became a workaholic. He hardly ever came home and would stay weeks upon weeks cooped up in his office at the Ministry. One day, her father brought her into his office and told her that she had to be strong and that she had to be the one to watch over her mother and her little brother Conan. He told her to “Never depend on anyone Eileen, because they’ll only disappoint you in the end.” Before breaking down crying and pulling a 9-year-old Eileen into his chest as he tearfully apologized at not being strong enough for his own wife and children. This event is what causes Eileen to be so independent and apathetic.

Her second wand is Red oak wand, phoenix feather core, 12 1/2 inches, reasonably supple flexibility. According to Ollivander, the true match for a red oak wand is possessed of unusually fast reactions, making it a perfect duelling wand. The ideal master is light of touch, quick-witted and adaptable, often the creator of distinctive, trademark spells, and a good man or woman to have beside one in a fight. Eileen has grown a lot since her first year at Hogwarts and that’s largely due to the dangers she and her friends had to face with the Cursed Vaults and R. Eileen has always had pretty good reflexes but those reflexes greatly improve thanks to her uncle Magnus’s training. Because of the constant danger Eileen is put through she’s awakened what is known in her family as the Ryder Instinct. Years of hunting down dangerous dark wizards and witches and even dragons (they don’t hunt down dragons anymore btw) have caused any descendant of a Ryder to possess the ability to detect when danger is near. This magic is deeply ingrained into a Ryder’s blood and is the reason why fighting comes so naturally to those who are born into the Ryder family and why they are known as ‘The Family of Survivors’ because of the countless times the family was almost completely wiped out in the past and were only saved thanks to this strange power. The red oak’s reputation for being the perfect dueling wand along with Eileen’s Ryder instincts and reflexes make for quite the deadly combo.

47. What was their opinion of Patricia Rakepick?

She didn’t trust her AT ALL. Eileen has been disappointed by adults her entire life so when an adult says they just want to help she always doubts it and expects the worse from them but this time, she desperately wanted to trust Rakepick because she wanted oh so badly for an adult to actually care enough to deal with the vaults. To care enough about her well-being but Eileen’s instincts kept telling her that this woman was dangerous but even then she tried to ignore them because just this once she wanted to hope. But after Rakepick blasts her first wand to bits and she’s forced to watch her torture a bystander in Knockturn Alley she knew she couldn’t be trusted and so when the time came for them to finally face the Buried Vault and the dragon in it, Eileen was prepared for the betrayal she knew would happen but even then the sting of being betrayed and yet another adult disappointing and abandoning her still hurt like hell.

[squidproquoclarice]

Hey Squid 👋🏻 Regarding your Sunrise AMA, what is one of your favourite moments from the story, or favourite thing about Sunrise in general? Was their a line or paragraph that stands out to you as one were you were like yes, this is good and just flowed easiest? Did you have any things that you knew straight away that you needed or wanted to write about? Also I was wondering what inspired you to have them join the Circus? And what do you think their kids jobs would be when they grow up? (I probably have a dozen more but I will just leave it at that for now 😊 ty!)

Heya!  Let’s see.  Since we’ve got multiple questions, I think I’ll leave the favorite moment(s) question for someone else to ask.   Favorite thing about Sunrise: I started it a few days after finishing the game.  From the savefiles and my chapter 1 posting date, it was only four days.  Obviously Arthur touched something emotional within me, like he did for a lot of people, and seeing Sadie so cold, alone, and fatalistic in the Epilogue hurt too.  I wanted to see if I tried to write what could have happened after that fight on the ridge where it might lead.   So I guess my favorite thing about Sunrise is that it debunked the assumption that Arthur had to die for the story to work or matter.  I wrote a journey for him and for Sadie that a lot of people connected to and told me that meant a lot to them to see them thrive and heal.  Characters don’t need a tragic ending to be deeply meaningful.  Characters don’t have to die for redemption.  It’s not somehow more artistically pure or daring to kill someone off.  I didn’t break RDR1 by writing Sunrise, and I made the plot beats of the RDR2 Epilogue work.  So Arthur’s death also frankly wasn’t necessary for plot integrity towards the events of 1907 and 1911. A line or paragraph that I really enjoyed writing: I’ll go with one early on, from chapter 6, “Death Is A Woman”, that actually gave the chapter its title. He managed a low, dark chuckle at that, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees. His lungs gave a bit of a grouchy hitch at it. “Newsmen are a different breed of confidence men and liars, that’s all. Anyway, I’m sure Death’s got to be a woman, Sister, cause it seems even she won’t have me.” That one made me feel like I really finally nailed Arthur and his character and state of mind in the weeks right after he’s had his entire life and identity knocked out from under him.  But of course he has to couch it in a self-deprecating quip.  Also kind of a funny line in retrospect because I hadn’t planned anything with Death/The Strange Man cropping up in the story at this point, but apparently Arthur’s wrong and Death is not a woman in RDRverse.  ;)   Things I immediately needed or wanted to write about: Giving Sadie a voice and POV to show what was going on in her head.  Beyond that, giving both of them the respect of acknowledging their PTSD, but doing my best to let show what trauma recovery really looks like, and showing that it’s possible.  I didn’t want to either shrug it off as inconvenient to a happy ending, or else treat them like permanently broken things.  I wanted it to be a journey.  When it came to Arthur’s TB, I also wanted to write something realistic and accurate to the period in terms of his recovery rather than just sort of handwaving it.  Historical medicine’s an interest of mine, so this was a good chance to explore some of that.  Joining the circus: This is one of the rarer instances where the tail sort of wagged the dog and I had to make something fit to an immovable future plan.  I had them in 1904 having claimed a homestead up in Canada that needed to be settled and improved within three years.  And I knew for 1907 Team Griffith needed to be in the five-state area of the RDR2 map in order to be involved in the Epilogue.  I could have had them go back to Chuparosa and continue eking out a living, and debated pushing them back on the bounty hunter path to put them being sometimes in those American states that would let them cross paths with the Marstons somehow. Didn’t really like it.  Given how averse they were to bounty hunting together with two very young children at home, how Sadie absolutely wasn’t going to be the little wife sitting at home and letting Arthur go alone into danger as an alternative, and how much they both liked the idea that they no longer needed to live that sort of life, it felt like I needed something else.  And it needed to be something that they could walk away with no offense taken from in three years.  In retrospect, I could have had them hire on at MacFarlane’s full time rather than seasonal and developed that bond even more, but I ended up coming up with a circus that folds in 1907 as a good alternative.  Given they’re ace riders and crack shots and pretty fair actors, that Arthur was very used to a nomadic lifestyle, that circus folk are great actors and can deal some mild well-meaning trickery as part of the delight, that they were fairly egalitarian for the time, and that traveling circus folk sort of existed as a quasi-disreputable and tightly knit “outsider” group, it felt like a neat chance to mirror the gang, but in a positive way.  So with the circus, I got to write Sadie and Arthur getting to live the best version of that kind of life, and sort of coming to peace with more of the past by it.  Proving the things they missed about the gang weren’t the robberies or Dutch’s antisocial philosophy, but the people they loved and the freewheeling lifestyle.  Also proving that while they enjoy that life, they do both really want to have something more settled and put down solid roots.  Sadie misses that, and Arthur yearns for it as something he’s never had. Also noting I hadn’t planned at all on Arkady Rudenko when I wrote Sadie and Arthur performing as the “Cossack Karolovs”, and I only realized that connection after I’d written the final chapter.  Guess my unconscious brain knew more than I thought even back then, though I’d only earmarked a few months before that final chapter trying to possibly work in the interesting fact of Ukrainians being a very prevalent immigrant group to the Canadian prairie provinces at the time.  But yeah, as an actual Cossack kid, Archie’s probably going to laugh his ass off. Kid’s jobs: So I actually have a short scrapped bit that I didn’t include as an extra document at the end of chapter 88, though I debated it.  I like the piece, but I wanted to leave it with Sadie and Arthur’s journal entries and the circle of things being sort of complete. It’s a preface to a book called “Red Dead Redemption” written by Jack--who’s become a writer of a fairly famous radio play turned TV serial--in the ‘60′s once all the OGs are finally gone and he feels safe to tell that story.  It mentions that the illustrations were done by his wife, Bea.  So yeah, Bea got Arthur’s artistic talent, and by submitting her work as “B.M. Griffith”, she managed to get some illustration jobs that would have been denied to her as “Beatrice”.   Mattie (Matt as he grows older), becomes a doctor.  He’s already got the caring heart and desire to heal and help people.  He’ll likely end up helping Felipe out as a teenager and learning some of the ropes there before going to college. Susie ended up becoming a teacher.�� There were definitely still strictures at the time against married women working as teachers, so if/when she got married (and I think if so, she did it later in life) she’d have been expected to retire and effectively become a housewife.  But she’d still keep teaching as a tutor.  Andy, with his energy and love of horses and the outdoors, actually shows a passion for farming and ranching.  So he’s the one who ends up running the day-to-day of Paradise Run as the next generation.     Feel free to keep up with the AMA with those further questions!  Might be better to send them in individually, though, as this one got pretty long.  ;)

[seeing-the-light]

For the character thing, Eugene ofc 😌💕

Sexuality Headcanon: To me, he’s probably bi or pan, with a preference for women.

Gender Headcanon: I see him as someone who identifies as male but isn’t afraid to be gender nonconforming- I fully believe in dress-wearing Eugene supremacy and think he deserves the chance to try on heels and paint his nails and whatever other fun shenanigans he’s gotten up to through the course of his crazy life :)

A ship I have with said character: like I said for Rapunzel, I ship those two adorable dorks together with all my heart

A BROTP I have with said character: Lance and Eugene! Love how much they’re both there for each other and clearly care even if their relationship is full of banter at times (I also continue to stan Team Awesome, just figured I’d highlight another one I love here)

A NOTP I have with said character: Honestly what I hate most with him is the suggestion that he still pines for Stalyan and wishes Rapunzel was more like her, or trying to spin her criticism of him as legitimate when he was a teenager being coerced into a marriage with someone who treated him in ways that definitely looked abusive onscreen, so probably them.

A random headcanon: I’m kinda obsessed with the idea that post-season, after the castle/city has been fixed and things have settled a bit, Eugene goes to the Dark Kingdom to check on his dad’s efforts and help out a bit, and they get the chance to bond more and maybe that’s the first time Edmund begins to open up more about Eugene’s mom and it’s very soft.

(Bonus from a conversation my friend and I had today- for some reason Eugene and Rapunzel’s kid takes a shining to Dabney, and has it as their personal bear comforter instead of a usual baby blanket, and Eugene humors the kid but will absolutely never admit how many times it’s badly startled him when he sneaks in for a late goodnight kiss.)

General Opinion over said character: Um, I love him and he deserves the world. That’s it. That’s my opinion.

...jk, so, Eugene’s one of my favorite characters, period. As much as people talk about the hot man meeting and I agree that he’s very aesthetically pleasing, that’s honestly one of the lowest reasons in the list. I think one of the first things that stood out to me was actually his personality. Like when he first complained about the poster, I genuinely thought he was distressed about the fact that he was on one, so the joke actually got me. And like... the entire way he interacts with Rapunzel in the beginning, from “it’s in that pot isn’t it” to pointing out her conflicting emotions to “stay calm, it can probably sense fear” to his utter confusion about why these thugs who were about to kill him had now broken into musical number to “let’s just assume everyone here wants to kill me” and being ridiculously proud of his stunt with the frying pan to trying not to freak out about hair to finally feeling comfortable enough to open up a little about his backstory.... like wow. I’m absolutely going off rn but these are all iconic things that have lived in my brain rent free since 2010. And we slowly get to see his mask get pulled back and shatter, slowly get to see him respond well to receiving compassion for the first time in his life. The movie culminates in him being so self -sacrificing, and then it could’ve ended with him getting the castle and his dream and being loved for the person he really is.

But it doesn’t? In fact, we see fairly early on in the series that now that he’s here, he’s trying to spread that to others- whether that’s in being there for the kids he claims he’s not good with, or searching for ways he can contribute something to castle life because he doesn’t want to just be a freeloader- he doesn’t just stop there. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t think the series did his character and feelings justice in many ways, but the times that it did? Peak content. He doesn’t just sit on these lessons he’s learned - he applies them to other people- like Lance, when he tries to steer him down the wrong path, or his father. But he’s also not afraid to speak his mind or stand his ground when there’s good reason for him to not budge. He values life, a lot- even In people who’ve tried to kill him, like when he pulls Edmund back from the edge in Destinys Collide, or going back for the Stabbingtons. (Which is probably because he knows what dying is like in a way no one else can.) At the same time, he’s always so ready to close his eyes and accept it when he’s in those sorts of positions- almost like he knows he’s on borrowed time and just expects that to run out some day. He still seems so surprised when he’s shown love and affection, he’s so deeply committed to Rapunzel that he doesn’t let a misunderstanding like what happened in BEA put any sort of distance between them- if anything, it pulls him closer as he commits to being patient. He STILL has some of the most iconic moments in the series - I could gesture to most anything he does in the finale to support that. But like he does in BVA, he’s also more than ready to recognize his friends’ strengths and push them into the limelight.

This is getting super long so I should probably force myself to stop or else it’ll never end but yeah. Yeah, my opinion is that I love him, and he’s good, and deserves all the love and support and affection he gets, and I appreciate how patient and understanding he is of his friends even when sometimes they don’t even give him the time of day, and I’m grateful they gave him an existential crisis as ripe as the one he explored in DC because he had more than enough reason to have one, and how much he grows into his place and relationships . He deserves many hugs. 💜

Thanks for the ask! Feel free to send more my way!

[nicolinocolino]

s4 thoughts

Okay so I’ve only watched the season once through and I’m sure I missed some stuff, but here’s my reaction for anyone who cares haha.

I’m going to start with Sana, obviously. Brilliant. Show stopping. Memorable. I never felt like the season was about anyone else, even with the side plots. I think this has a lot to do with the friendships, which skamit does really well. But this season was truly about her. And Bea did fantastic. 

I think the switch to make the Malik drama about Eva worked much better, as Eva is someone who’s kind of... swung from one guy to another and back. It just makes sense. I also loved how they toned down the drama and got rid of the cyber bullying all together. 

Sana’s voicemail on the roof explained it all... and it was so heartbreaking. Honestly, I could relate. I think that’s another big testament to the season — she’s relatable because she’s, you know, a person with feelings and expectations who doesn’t always make the right choices. I never felt like I wasn’t allowed to relate to her just because we come from different backgrounds. And isn’t that the point? Isn’t that the point of it all — to humanize her and not put her on a pedestal or be afraid of her? She hurt her friends who hurt her, and she let it all out. Sometimes we need that honesty to become closer to one another, and, in turn, understand each other better.

My favorite clip was the one of her and Malik talking about religion. The music? Her metaphor to the moon? God, she shone in this clip. I’m not a religious person, but I could feel the passion in her. I think it’s healthy to be challenged sometimes, too. I don’t think Malik saying that you can be a good person without religion is something I will forget.

Overall, her story was so good that I don’t really mind the other parts I was disappointed in. It was a fantastic final season. The music and editing and quality was incredible. She was the true star.

Okay, Marti and Nico. Because you know I love them a lot. And I’m sorry if I have more to say about them than Sana. I know it’s her season. But obviously Marti and Nico are my favorite and ALSO there’s just..... a lot to process regarding what we did get from them. I’m not the kind of person who can look at canon and be like, “I don’t like that so I’m going to forget it!” — no. I see it happen and my brain goes “make it make sense.” Which is what I’ve been trying to do because I really don’t want these two ruined for me. So:

First of all, I’m so, so thrilled that Nico’s “half a thing” long ago with Luai was the real deal. It had nothing to do with his mental illness and added depth to his back story that comes from a place of love and understanding. I cannot even imagine the guilt he must have felt at Virgilio after watching Luai get sent away. It must have been difficult to talk about, so keeping it from Marti (for so long!) is something I can kind of understand.

Which brings me to Marti’s reaction. I have mixed feelings. I definitely do understand Marti, in a way. When you piece together what he knew from Maddalena, that look between them he witnessed, Nico’s obvious lies... yeah. Maybe I’d go a bit out of my mind, too. Essentially, I can see this starting in ep 2 and building to ep7. That’s FIVE WEEKS of hardship on their relationship. FIVE WEEKS of Nico hiding the truth and Marti going insane pestering him. FIVE WEEKS of patience before Marti finally snapped. My big thing is I think Marti has gobs and gobs of patience. Without that real time format, it looks like he has none. But really? It was almost two whole months of... guessing and asking and getting nothing. Of course he was paranoid! Of course he was jealous! His patience, which I believe he had, wore thin. While I think some of what Marti did was out of character, some of it I can see. He gets angry, we’ve seen that. He withdraws, we’ve seen that too. Not saying this is the healthiest thing ever, but if you REALLY loved someone... you probably would be at least a little jealous. We villainize the feeling of jealousy so much — and it’s true that it’s not healthy in this amount — but it happens. And it happened to Marti. My big hangup is that I don’t really think that’s very in character for him, but in a way... I can see it. I think we can argue that what he did to Gio and Eva in season 1 was the result of some jealousy. Love makes you do all kinds of crazy things and feel all kinds of crazy ways. I half think that Marti “left” as a sort of final straw/ultimatum. Like, ‘ah, if I leave him maybe then he will tell me, since there is nothing left to lose.’ But then Nico didn’t, so he was left with that choice. I don’t think he really meant it, at least not for the long haul. If Nico were to text him the next day and say ‘yeah, you’re right, this is for the best’ Marti would be a giant mess. I can clearly see this was a situation of “well, I think he’s going to leave me for Luai, so maybe if I leave him first I can control the pain.” We literally see him reverting back to his old self in eps 7 and 8. He closes off. He doesn’t want to listen to his friends. At Silvia’s birthday, he was honestly being so loud and jokey and obnoxious. I truly think that was a mask. His “I have nothing to say to him” (referring to Nico) REALLY really got to me. That was not in character. But in hindsight, as I try to make sense of it, I think he said it because he wanted his friends to disagree with him. It’s more of a “I have nothing more to add” because, well, he tried. He tried for five weeks to get Nico to tell him the truth. He was left with his embarrassing mistake of leaving Nico, which he knew was wrong, and is embarrassed even more because everyone else knows it was wrong too. Somehow he has to crawl out of the hole that is his own stubbornness and pride. And in this super public space, he wanted everyone to think he was fine. But we know he’s not. We know he had a cliche low point eating ice cream on the floor. We know he’s hurting. In his mind, Nico possibly cheated and lied and might leave him and that hurts him. Because he loves him.

Which brings me to my next point. Marti you dumbass if you opened your eyes you could SEE how much Nico loves you. Everything from wanting to get coffee in the morning with him, wanting to pick him up from school, wanting to dance with him, wanting to help throw him a nice birthday, just the way Nico LOOKS at him... boy he LOVES you. And I bet that hurt Nico a lot to think Marti didn’t feel any of that. Nico shows his love, it pours out of him.

But also: Nico, my boy, why take so long to tell Marti the truth. If there’s nothing to hide, why does it matter that you had half a thing with some guy two years ago? I think what happened was that they didn’t have proper closure. Luai was essentially ripped away from Nico, horribly, in the middle of their half a thing. Did Nico even know that he was okay? And... the guilt? Oh my. I can only imagine Nico wanted to reconnect with him just to get that closure, and, in the process, because he never told Marti, it looked a lot like maybe something else was going on. Not only the night of the fight, but maybe after that there were some texts or phone calls, too. And then how do you tell your boyfriend that you want closure with your ex? How do you explain what you had, which never had a proper ending and, who knows, maybe would have grown or still have been going on if things were better and Luai never left? I think Marti could piece that together, too. He knows Nico learned the Koran for Luai. He remembers the talk in Nel Mio Letto. He knows how deeply Nico can feel. And, he knows that Nico’s feelings are real. Or, were real. And maybe had the possibility of becoming real again now that Luai was around again. 

The excuse that Nico didn’t tell Marti because Luai was engaged and wanted to keep it on the down-low doesn’t fly with me. Maybe it’s partly true, but I also think what I stated above was more of the cause. Nico didn’t know how to explain to Marti without sounding suspicious but needed closure. He tried to do both at the same time and failed. Because, duh. You have to be honest and hiding isn’t right and doesn’t work. I think it would hurt Marti to know Nico doesn’t trust him enough with that secret. So, in sum, they both need to trust each other more.

I was really excited for Nico’s clip and was left feeling kind of empty afterwards. I don’t like how Marti basically interrogated him. I think that if Marti wants that level of honesty with Nico, that’s valid. But there’s a fine line between that and pestering someone about phone calls. Which is what makes me think the thing with Luai was more than just the night of the fight. I think Nico was hiding a little more than a past. He was hiding his reconnecting to get closure. I mean, in the end, it’s a nice clip. The beach is beautiful and their kiss was cute and smiley. And that hug is god tier. I liked how we saw Nico’s meds in a short and respectful way even if just to give the audience some peace of mind. Maybe Marti only used his birthday as an excuse to be so nosy. I do think he was hurt by the lies — and Marti knows that lies can ruin things, he’s seen it happen — so he’s just on guard. I mean, I don’t think Nico’s lie was HUGE... it’s just the fact that it went on for so long even after Marti tried to tell Nico he wanted the full truth. So, even if I didn’t love the clip and am disappointed a bit in it, in the end it really just shows that they can and will work through everything.

So, like, did I want all of that drama? No. Is it realistic? I think so. I romanticize these two so much so it brought me down to earth a bit. Did I already KNOW they would be able to work through hard times? Well, yeah. I didn’t need to see it but in the end I’m glad I did. I truly believe they will face future hard times with the knowledge, now, that they need to do better. And honestly? I think Marti is 18 now and Nico is like 20? 21? And to be tested with something like this and work through it the way they did so young is a lot. Also, they’ve been together for over a year now. It takes about a year for that honeymoon phase to wear off. So in reality they are working through that right now too. Love is something they have to dedicate more time and effort to, and they did! They did do that and it’s nice to see that they’re willing to nurture this very very special thing they have instead of letting it fall away. And they made it out on the other side with, I think, more love and understanding for each other. I certainly love and understand them better now, too.

I might add on with more thoughts later, but this is what I have for now. Most of it is about Marti and Nico but, ya know. I love them dearly. Also, Sana’s stuff was just so good there’s really not much for me to work through with it. If you read this all, you’re a trooper lol

[pop-culturereference]

Like We Were Before

a fic for Dickbabs week 2020 day 1: history

Summary: Babs and Dick, what things were like before, what they’re like now, and how they’ll be in the future. Because Rebirth is frustrating and I’m never sure what the characters do and don’t remember.

The night was settled and smooth, with streetlamp light seeping through the blinds of her apartment. Babs and Dick had dragged themselves in after a night of high-energy crime fighting and immediately shaken off the Nightwing and Batgirl getup to run it through the washer. Babs had been waiting up to switch it to the dryer, and now that that was done, she could go to bed. Dick was haphazardly sprawled on her bed like a pair of discarded socks. She pressed her lips together against a smile. Even while he was drooling on her pillow, he was so completely him that she couldn’t help but find him adorable.

Babs lightly shifted him over to his side to make space for herself on the bed. She didn’t have a couch in her new apartment yet, so if she wanted to sleep at all, she’d have to share the bed with Dick, she told herself. But, the soft stillness of the night made her honest enough to admit to herself that she didn’t mind. It was nice. 

“Babs?” Dick asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“I can sleep on the floor if you want.”

“No, I don’t mind.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Seriously, don’t worry about it. I only shoved you over because you were taking up a little too much space. You’re like…an invasive plant species, taking over my bed like-“

“Hey!” Dick was more awake now.

“No, no, hear me out,” Babs cut in before he could object. “Like, you just sprawl everywhere, but it’s not bad. You’d be a GOOD invasive plant. Like morning glories, or ivy.”

“Ugh. Not ivy, ever,” Dick muttered into the pillow.

“Gotcha, morning glory.” Babs tugged the blanket up and rested her arms above her head. She relaxed into the mattress and breathed deeply. 

It was a good night. There was a reaching peace inside her, the kind that usually came after a light workout that relieved aches and worries, and before a day with no obligations. She stared up at the ceiling and played with that thought. That was becoming more common, as of late. She couldn’t remember a time in her life when she’d been so consistently happy. 

She had recently climbed out of a rough patch. Her mind had been a jumble of conflicting memories. Or, rather, it still was, but now she was starting to make sense of them. Before, it had felt like two different versions of Barbara Gordon were trying to reconcile with one another. She’d been in constant turmoil. She didn’t know which memories to believe and to act on. Which Barbara remembered Lady Blackhawk? Was Cassandra Cain ever Batgirl? Was Babs being selfish by keeping that from her now?  Which of Tim’s personalities was the real one?

Eventually, she had put it together, piece by piece. It was like everything happened in a timeline. First, she had been permanently in a wheelchair. Then, all of a sudden, she was walking and running and Batgirl-ing again, with no explanation. It had made no sense, but at least it fit together nicely.

Babs tried to return to the contentment she had been feeling. With a sigh, she rolled to her side, leaving her facing Dick’s back. Did he ever think about things like this? Most people didn’t realize anything was different in their memories, but she’d learned that most heroes had the same issues she did. Dick probably had an even more jumbled mess than she did. His hair poked out funny over the bullet scar, and she itched to run her thumb over it. After a few more seconds of the itch, she slowly reached out and tenderly smoothed his hair.

She felt a tingling current. She used to do this, before, but it had been so long since she and Dick had been so close. Back then, 

he hadn’t had a bullet scar, and she’d been a little bit more in love with the world. Did Dick remember that? 

Her breath caught when she remembered that he was right next to her and she could ask him if she really wanted to. 

“Hey…Dick?”

“Mm hmm?

“What do you… remember?”

Well, that was vague.

“In the sense that…do you feel like you’ve lived two lives? Are your memories all…split?”

Dick rolled over to face her and blinked at her. “Hmm. Yeah. I’m not a huge fan.” He curled in to bring the blanket up to his chin and his head lower on the pillow so their faces were level. It made Babs feel like they were kids again, curled up and close. Dick sighed. “It’s been awhile since my brain made any sense at all,” he said with a rueful laugh. And sometimes, all I can remember is the bad stuff, like, the crime syndicate.”

Babs took a sharp breath as a memory suddenly flashed through her: Dick, chained up and tortured, secret identity revealed. 

Apparently Dick was more used to that memory than she was, because he kept talking, his words picking up momentum.

“What’s crazy is that I actually remember more since I got a bullet to the head. When…I remembered…I had all these memories, and I didn’t realize I didn’t have them before until a few days later. It was- I- I was thinking about you, actually, and I remembered something that I knew I didn’t even know before.” Dick squinted.  It was something they both did when they were thinking hard- as if squinting pointed their eyes at their thoughts. 

Dick used to visit her from Blüdhaven—that was from Memory Timeline #1. He’d swing into the clocktower window. She’d usually be doing Oracle work, and he’d bring her something- usually coffee or pastries- along with a hacking request. He’d start working on one of his own cases, but they’d ask each other for help and  usually both end up working on the same one. She would realize she was squinting, then look over at Dick and he’d be doing the same thing. “You’re doing the squinting thing,” she’d say with a grin, and he’d say, “Don’t act like you weren’t doing the squinting thing just a minute ago, oh high and mighty Oracle.”

She laughed and told Dick, “Hey, Boy Wonder, you’re doing the squinting thing.”

He broke his squint with a laugh. “What ever happened to ‘Hunk Wonder?’ Have I been downgraded?”

Her heart skipped a beat. He remembered, then. 

“We-“

“Some-“

They started speaking at the same time.

“You first,” Babs said.

Dick sighed. “Sometimes I wish I could go back.” She expected him to wistfully stare off into the distance as he elaborated, but instead he looked straight into her eyes and held her gaze, waiting for her to say something.

“Things were better,” she solemnly agreed.

“You were in a wheelchair!” Instead of sounding puzzled by her agreement, Dick sounded sounded teasing.

Babs took this as a good sign, and, without letting herself think her way out of it, quickly worked around the knot in her throat to say softly, “We were engaged.” 

Dick nodded, not breaking her gaze. “That’s why I wish I could go back.” Before Babs could say anything, his next words tumbled out in a rush. “When I remembered, I was still with Bea. I did love her, and she’ll always be special to me, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Babs. I remembered how we were before, and I compared it to how I was at the time. I was slowly, slowly getting back to how I was before the brain injury, but I realized I didn’t like who I was even before I got shot. I was a flake. I got too absorbed in myself to care about what was going on around me. I made stupid decisions and then refused to admit any responsibility or fault.”

Babs laughed. “Well, look at you, a new man already, taking responsibility and admitting fault at the same time.”

“I was dealing with a lot. I’m not trying to make excuses, but I had a lot on my plate. I was tortured to death, brought back to life, Bruce convinced me to fake my death, Damian was dead, then he wasn’t, everyone hated me for pretending to be dead, and then when I finally started to get things figured out, boom. Bullet to the brain.”

Babs opened her mouth, but Dick cut her off before she could say anything.

“I don’t like talking about it, and that’s all I’m going to say. Moving on. Anyway, I realized that I was not happy like that. I didn’t feel like myself. And I realized… I feel the most like myself when I’m with you.” He kept his gaze on hers expectantly.

“Dick- I-“ she started, but she couldn’t choose what to say. After a breath, she tried again. “This isn’t going to be nearly as sweet and sappy as what you just said, but thank you, everything you said means a lot. Wow. I-” She had to take a break to get her voice under control and to quickly blink her teary eyes. She was smiling now. She kept trying to bring her lips together to push it away, but it was hopeless.

“When I’m with you, I feel content. Like, right now, I’m thinking, how long has it been since I felt so at peace, and so happy with my life? And I realized, oh, it’s actually been this way a lot recently. The last time I felt this was actually last week, when we were tracking Mudman through the sewers together and you kept squealing whenever you saw a rat. Even the most disgusting thing is good if you’re there.” 

Babs didn’t feel dumb about smiling anymore, because Dick had an equally corny grin on his face. He shifted closer and put his head on Babs’s pillow. “I love you,” he whispered. 

Babs tangled her legs with his and brought up an arm to twist his hair with her fingers. “Let’s get engaged. Again,” she said.

“Barbara Gordon, did you just propose to me? In your pajamas?”

“So what if I did, Hunk Wonder?” 

“Well,” he said with a sly grin and scooted closer to her under the covers. “I’m not complaining, if it gets me promoted to Hunk Wonder. I’ll be the perfect trophy husband. When you get elected president, everyone will say I’m the handsomest first man the nation has ever seen.”

“Is that a yes? We’re not even dating,” she pointed out. 

Dick got serious again as he said, “Babs, I don’t need to date you again to know that I’m 100% certain. You’re my best friend, isn’t that what everyone says? You should marry your best friend? Plus, it helps that every time I see you, I want to sweep you off your feet like in some sappy romance movie and kiss you.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Do it then, you coward.”

Later, as Dick’s heartbeat and his arms around her lulled her to sleep, Babs let go of her longing for the past and was carried off by dreams of the future.

[sebthesnipe]

The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagin an Analysis? (Part 1 cuz it was a lot longer than expected)

All portions:

Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Okay so first off… I get asked a lot what I can do with a forty-thousand-dollar degree in Literature when the job economy is so crap… Answer: Lay awake at 2AM analyzing your favorite fanfic authors. So, here we are. Before I begin however, I wanted to make a few things clear: First, if you have not read any of @whatwashernameagain’s work I highly recommend you do so. She is very talented. You can find her on archiveofourown here; and The Dreamer Chapter 1 here. Secondly, I realize that most authors don’t look into their work as deeply as the reader does when writing an analysis and that a red door may simply be a red door… but where is the fun in that? And Lastly, there will be spoilers… So… Beware! (Also it is a Sanders Sides fanfic so check out Sanders Sides by Thomas Sanders on youtube as well if you haven’t already)

WARNING: Spoilers under cut!!

I’m not sure how many of you are familiar with the literary theory of Reader Response (its pretty much exactly what it sounds like) but I’ll probably be addressing it throughout this post. In fact here and here great introductions to the literary theory; which can be defined in its most broad sense, as a criticism that “considers readers’ reaction to literature as vital to interpreting the meaning of the text” (Purdue Writing Lab). Not very clear is it? Basically, Reader Response is the concept that readers have just as much say in what the work means as the author does. In other words, “readers do not passively consume the meaning present to them by an objective literary text; rather they actively make the meaning they find in literature” (Purdue Writing Lab). Without the author there is no reader and without the reader there is no author.

           That’s probably a lot of mumbo jumbo to take in but I’ve studied so many literary approaches that it is merely a glimpse into the stuff rattling around in my brain when I read any type of work. I don’t tell you any of this to flex or show how smart I am… …. Well… not really anyways lol. I am explaining this now because it will be important later in the post. Now! Onto the really fun stuff!

CHAPTER 1 (Again spoilers!)

Okay, going into the work I knew the premise: Superhero vs. Villain eventually becoming friends and even lovers. I’m totes down! However, Eva (the author (Whatwashernameagain) never ceases to pull in the reader from the first line!

“He’d chosen to call himself the Utilitarianist, the etymology of which was clearly derived from the Latin word ‘utilis’, meaning ‘useful’” (Whatwashernameagain).

First off! The italics are beautiful! They pull attention to the fact that whoever it is that is naming himself (*cough* Logan *cough*) has already shunned the outer world. He doesn’t care what others have to say. He is deciding this for himself. The sheer amount of strength in a single word because she used italics is stunning and I’m certain she doesn’t even realize what she has done.

Moving on to the actual name is another thing entirely. I know that ‘Utilitarianism’ is defined as “the ethical doctrine that virtue is based on utility, and that conduct should be directed toward promoting the greatest happiness of the greatest number of persons” (“Utilitarianism”). So first, this screams Logan, secondly there is a lot to be said for the name choice. While, the hero/villain’s goal is obvious by the name (doing acts that are for the ‘greater good’) there is a lot to be said for personality here. Obviously, it can be taken that whoever chose this name is insecure in a way; only taking value of themselves by how useful they are. The man no doubts feels as if he is only as valuable as the contributions he makes, which is certainly relatable. So, within the first sentence we learn quite a lot about a single individual and are already drawn in… then again, that’s Eva for you.

Within the next paragraph we learn that the he is in fact a ‘villain’ though I like to think of him more as a… misguided vigilante… but Logan is my bea… so… yeah. Once again, we see italics: “They called him a villain” (Whatwashernameagain). It pulls the reader’s attention to the separation the Utilitarianist is making between himself and the outside world. The feeling of loneliness just from the two italicized words is almost suffocating, at least to me (hence Reader-Response theory). Eva always has such a way with capturing emotions so subtly its breath taking. It certainly is one of her biggest strengths. I mean, here we are not even two sentences in and I’m already moved by the isolation of the villain.

Moving on down the line, we see that the Utilitarianist feels he is doing good for the world… sees himself as a hero rather than the villain the world sees him as. Eva also begins to apply descriptors to the not-villain. “Cold and infallible logic” is used to describe his work. Knowing Sanders Sides as I do its obvious that at this point, I have an assumption as to which character the Utilitarian is (and I’ve already read the work once or twice) but this practically cements it. The reason I bring these four little words to your attention however is the simplicity of them and the giant impact they have. Just as the italics spoke volumes so does this small excerpt. The loneliness I mentioned before only grows with these words, becoming an image of shivering, icy fingers reaching out for someone who isn’t there, the only thing keeping him warm is his own logical calculations…. Its… so heartbreaking… Damn it Eva!!! T.T

Within the next paragraph however we’re moving on to a more light-hearted tone as the Utilitarianist calls the world small minded and unable to understand his ‘superior logic’ (Whatwashername). That, in and of itself, gives way to more personality, breathing more life into the previously abstract character and making him more human… though far less humble lol.  

I feel as if I really need to move a bit more quickly through this work to keep this post from getting to long but… Eva’s work with emotional subtext is so stunning I can’t help myself. We’ve moved from the first sentence drawing attention to the separation of the Utilitarianist from the public’s view of him, to the lonely cool logic behind his actions and now within the next few sentences were pulled into a whirlwind of frustration and all of it is so seamless. It may seem like something small and inconsequential but there are published best-selling authors that struggle with it regularly and she manages it so flawlessly (and if I had to guess, without even really thinking about it.

The frustration I mention above is visible through the way the Utilitarianist uses descriptors pulling attention to names like ‘whistleblower’, ‘eco-terrorist’, ‘extremist’, and the way he points out more than one, obviously frustrated. He also insults the world once again pointing out their ‘small minds’ and ‘hypocrisy’; the media calling him ‘cruel’. Again, it’s the subtle things that really make a work shine and as usual Eva’s work is almost blinding.

“His enemies were clear to him, chosen not by his own selfish passions or greed, but by pure, beautiful logic” (Whatwashernameagain).

This line…. Oh, this line…. -sighs dreamily at the words-

So, Reader-Response theory can be interpreted in a number of ways but basically what you need to know is that everyone reads things in different ways due to their own life-experiences, interests, backgrounds, opinions, etc. So, this tiny line that most wouldn’t think twice of is one of my absolute favorites. Why? Well… Lets just say that I have four copies of every Sherlock Homes book (Sir Arthur Connan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes) (Leather bound, hard cover, soft cover, and children’s versions). Which means I’m a bit of fan. Why is that important here? Well, Logan’s (the Utilitarian’s) thought here, pulls me straight back to Doyle’s work. It is so Holmes-esc that it makes me all warm inside and brings a smile to my face. Not to mention it is another shift in the emotional tone of the work, pulling the reader from frustration to an almost affection as Logan addresses his work. This provides the character with even more complexity making him more tangible than ever. There is already so much depth to this character in the first half of this chapter than it astounds me… I am never disappointed in the woman’s writing.

As I read about some of Logan’s target, I have to pause because of just how real some of these issues are. “Fast food chains that ate away the natural resources with their disgusting wastefulness, earning money on the back of animals starved of space and clean air. Government funded projects poisoning the water of people dependent on it. Radioactive plants secured so badly the surrounding hospitals were filled to the brim with cancer patients. Presidents who criminalized people for their skin, their sex, their religion or orientation” (Whatwashernameagain). It makes we want to bring attention to New Culturism and New Historicism but that’s a whole different can of worms. For now, I’ll just say that in today political and environmental climate these are some real issues and she knows that. She knows her audience, for sure! I feel as if this could be a real power play, not in any bad way but in the sense that she can pull at the concerns of so many readers at once with Logan addressing these issues, submerging them in support of his unconventional solutions. How else do you make a reader fall in love with a villain but with sympathy and support? Brilliant… just bloody brilliant.

“Public acts of violence threatened to cause a brutalization of the human mind and thus cause more violence due to normalizing it by prolonged exposure” (Whatwashernameagain).

I won’t spend too much time on this but… Holmes-esc… just saying… I love it so much!

“Despite any attempts to paint him as a ruthless monster, the people were his ultimate ally… Ultimately, he believed the world would come to understand his superior philosophy” (Whatwashernameagain).

Okay, lets pause for a moment. We get some conflicting information here (not in a bad way). Up until now Logan has isolated himself from the world but now, we find out that the people work with him. This is conflicting not because it goes against what has been said but simply what the reader has assumed (reader-response theory). When we really consider it, of course there would be support for his tactics. Trump has supporters… I don’t see why but he does… It’s only logical that someone who is actually making change for the better (even if his methods are extreme) would have them too…. Wait… Did I just compare Logan to Trump?! I’m going to go cry in a corner now… T.T No, but seriously Eva is making her readers think and ask questions that they have to fill in the blanks for, themselves. Its fantastic! The truth of the matter is, the best works have the readers read between the lines, fill in the blanks, help mold the story to their own liking, and she does this so Wonderfully I am jealous and awed by it all. As for bringing the world around to his philosophy we as a reader know that’s probably not going to happen but that might not be the point of the sentence. Perhaps, its to bring a small sense of eccentric tendencies in a far less subtle manner to Logan or just determination. I feel that it does both whether intended or not and does it beautifully. It makes it obvious that Logan is still lonely and determined to bring others in on his work while deluding himself that they will. I think most of us have been lonely enough that we went just a little crazy at one point or another… Which makes Logan more relatable.

Unfortunately, I have to go to work; but I will be back with a Part 2 of this. I have a lot more to say so be warned! And yes, I realize there’s going to be a lot of TLDR’s but it’s a good thing I’m writing this more for myself than anyone XP so… until next time…

 Purdue Writing Lab. “Reader-Response Criticism // Purdue Writing Lab.” Purdue Writing Lab, https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/subject_specific_writing/writing_in_literature/literary_theory_and_schools_of_criticism/reader_response_criticism.html.

“Utilitarianism.” Dictionary.com, Dictionary.com, https://www.dictionary.com/browse/utilitarianism.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 1.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/187581477262/the-dreamer-chapter-1.

[aliceslantern]

Beyond this Existence: New Life, short 22--Listless

Recovery is a tedious, nonlinear process. Demyx, Ienzo, and the others living in Radiant Garden's castle have to learn to come to terms with their pasts and their memories, learn to grow, and begin to understand what, exactly, it means to be human. While there is unexpected joy in this, there is also unexpected sorrow. A series of oneshots set after Beyond this Existence.

Current short: “Listless.” Ienzo isn’t okay.

Read it on FF.net/ on AO3

---

Something wasn’t right.

Ienzo stared deeply into his plans, spread across the worktable and anchored by his research. He bit his lip. It had all been revised and engineered within an inch of its life; yet something was off, wrong. Was it the angles of the joints of the walls?

Maybe it had nothing to do with its creation, and all to do with its creator.

He had a vicious headache. Ienzo took off his glasses and rested his face in his hand for a moment, trying to rub away the pain. Ever since his confrontation with Even, and in the light of Ansem’s overwhelming depression, Ienzo was feeling increasingly shaken, and increasingly anxious. Sleeping was getting more and more difficult again.

Demyx didn’t seem to be doing well either.

It was clear that the poisoning had shaken him. For a few weeks after it happened, Demyx remained mostly in their apartment. He slept a lot, picked at Arpeggio aimlessly, songs that made no coherent sense to Ienzo. Ienzo first attributed this exhaustion to the aftereffects of the poison, but it seemed to go on longer than it should. This must have traumatized him; he was self-conscious enough when it came to his competency, and he could have taken this as a sign he was unwanted in the community. Ienzo was able to analyze Demyx’s mental state with ease; but he himself was too tired to be of any real help. He felt as though he were constantly carrying another dozen or so kilos.

Ienzo, too, just wanted to rest. The early winter day was cold. He would go home, he decided. He would take a bath and make himself some tea and he would read a perfectly awful book, and he would wait for this to blow over.

Would it?

The anxiety threatened to pull him into a spiral. What if this happiness they’d had had been temporary? His growth and healing falsified? He should have known better than to believe they would have a happy ending, or any ending for that matter.

Was this illogical?

He unlocked the apartment door. There Demyx was, curled under the covers. His gummiphone was on the bed beside him, but he didn’t look at it. He barely moved when Ienzo came into the room. Ienzo took off his shoes and slacks and crawled under the blankets as well. He pulled him close, a gesture that sought more to take comfort than to give it.

Demyx turned, and for a moment they faced each other, wordlessly.

“Are you alright?” Ienzo asked.

“No. You?”

“No.” At least he’d come this far, to be able to admit it. “The world lately has felt so very heavy.” He could feel the pinch in his throat, of oncoming tears, and tried to fight it. “I know you’re hurting, and I want to help, but I--”

“It’s okay,” Demyx said. “I know you’re dealing with a lot. You can’t take care of people when you’re drowning.”

“I used to.”

“Then is not now.” He looked so exhausted, his hair flat, circles under his eyes. “I’m not… going anywhere. I just need some rest.”

“I can’t help but wonder…” It was warm under the covers, but still he shook. “What if this is all temporary, you know?”

“I know. God, do I know.”

“I know this is merely a relapse, of sorts. That these are conditions I have to manage and live with for the rest of my life. But they’re so close to convincing me this is how I’ll always be. I’m not that person. I’m logical, I reason. It feels so draining.”

His face crumpled a little. “I know. They… they triggered you. You have to deal with it. Repressing that pain makes it so much worse.” A sob caught in his throat.

“I’m truly sorry,” Ienzo said. “You’re reeling from this trauma, and I--”

“I’ve been talking through it with Aerith.” He looked ashamed to admit it. “She gave me some pills, to help manage things… they make me so tired.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You had enough on your plate. Besides, I should be… better in a week or two. When the chemicals in my head stabilize. Or whatever.” He didn’t make eye contact.

Ienzo knew that it wasn’t that simple. “Demyx…”

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

Ienzo touched Demyx’s face. He hadn’t shaved in a few days; the pale stubble was scratchy. “There has to be something I can do.”

“You can. You can take care of yourself.”

He inhaled. “You’ll tell me, if things get much worse?”

“Of course.”

Ienzo wanted to believe him. Yet it was so much easier to worry about Demyx than his own increasing instability.

“I mean it, Ienzo. I’m not done with you.”

The smile seemed to take some effort. “Okay.”

---

He tried to get some rest.

He pulled himself away from the memorial, away from the internal. He assisted Even with some simple chemical experiments, had lunch with Ansem, went on a few rounds with Aeleus. Anything to keep his hands and body occupied. Idle hands make the devil’s work. He understood.

Ienzo was determined not to overwork, just to get his mind off of heavier things until he could unravel them a bit more cleanly. Maybe if he let it percolate a bit more, it would grow clearer.

On one of these rounds with Aeleus, they discovered what had evidently been a mother cat’s nest; there were several rodent skeletons, along with damp red stains of birth. But the mother and her kits were gone; aside from a small, wriggling lump in the makeshift scraps of fabric.

“Oh, poor thing,” Ienzo whispered. It was tiny, possibly the runt; its white and brown fur slightly matted. He was shocked to see it was still breathing, but hesitantly so; who knew how long it had been sitting here without its mother. He took the kitten into his hands, to try and warm it up a little bit. Its eyes were crusted over, possibly infected, and it trembled a little.

“It must be sick,” Aeleus said. “Perhaps we should… end its suffering.” It pained him to say this, his blue eyes glinting. “Mothers don’t usually abandon their young unless they feel it’s a lost cause.”

Ienzo stared at the kitten. So small. Yet, the thought of stamping out its life repulsed him. “Well, I certainly wasn’t,” he said. “Perhaps… I want to at least try to nurse it.” He felt like a child. Oh please, oh please can I keep it?  “Demyx might be able to help me.”

Aeleus nodded, a shade of relief gracing his otherwise stoic face. “We could use a mouser.”

---

The first few days he was certain the kitten wouldn’t make it, and any attempts to treat its myriad illnesses felt like Ienzo was just prolonging its suffering. Demyx was only able to help so much--he knew humans, not cats--and for several hours Ienzo dripped milk and antibiotics intermittently into its small mouth. At least it was swallowing, and breathing. He kept as constant of an eye on it as he could, rubbing its small belly to stimulate digestion, wiping the pus from its eyes. He didn’t let it out of his sight and held it as much as he could, because it was so so tiny and so cold. Even the incubation lamp he was able to borrow from Even didn’t seem to do much good.

“You’re going to cause yourself more hurt,” Even said gently. “I can… I can put it to rest painlessly, without violence.”

“I think she wants to live. She’s eating.”

Even shook his head. “If this is how you wish to spend your time. You can probably adopt a healthy cat at the market.”

It took about a week of this, of trying different medicines and drops for its tiny eyes, before the kitten seemed to turn the corner. Its breaths were less labored, it was eating even more; it seemed to gain a few grams every day. Then the pus stopped weeping from its eyes and it gave a tiny, scratchy mew. And for some reason this unraveled him; Demyx found him bawling over the kitten and assumed it had died. Before long, its eyes opened--a temporary blue--to a startling new world.

Ienzo wasn’t sure what this whole ordeal had revealed about himself. The symbolism of it wasn’t lost on him. This uncomplicated kindness was a relief.

She lived.

She went from being on the verge of death to being constantly underfoot, or climbing all over things, up to and including the curtains. She found a particular interest in Demyx’s sitar, trying to crawl over the frets. “Well,” Demyx said, “At least she’s not a critic.”

As she got bigger, she slept on (and in) the bed. She seemed to sense their nightmares; more than once Ienzo woke up to her purring next to his cheek, even as he woke in a cold sweat.

The cat was a comfort to them both. But it still took weeks to name her. Demyx suggested silly names like Jat or Rocks, Ienzo found himself thinking about it entirely too hard, going so far as to look into nomenclature before finally Demyx said, “You know it’s a cat, right?”

One morning Demyx woke up with her paws on his face. All he said was “Beans.”

And Ienzo groaned, because he knew in his heart that the cat’s name was Beans. As stupid as it was. He tried to shorten it to Bea, or Bebe, but the cat didn’t respond to that. She, great comforter of anxiety, was now named after the legume family.

So it goes.

But she did help shake him out of that horrible spiral, and for that she was worth her weight in, well, beans. He could work near her, scratch the soft spot behind her ears, and get back to clear and concise thinking. It was grounding. He wondered how much of his childhood suffering would have been nullified if he’d just had a pet. It was something to look forward to, a concrete reason to exist; Beans needed him. As complex as he tried to be, really simple comforts meant more than intense psychological analysis.

Gradually, the sense of heaviness that had been plaguing him began to fade, and he felt again hopeful. In a small way he would always resent how much control his emotions had over him, how they would muddy thoughts that had once been so easy to grasp. But this was part of humanity, and there was no going back.

[mutantsrisingrpg]

Congratulations MORGAN! You’ve been accepted as PHOEBE with a FC change to JULIANA HERZ.

Ciara is someone that has always fought to be seen, there’s nothing she wants more than to truly be noticed by someone. Your bio created this rich history that weaved that very aspect into every corner of her life and I loved it. Making her the middle child out of five that was supposed to be a son? Chef’s kiss if you ask me. The details you put into Ciara were such beautiful breadcrumbs that lead to a well rounded character with a clear path to folliow. I can’t wait to see her on the dash! 

Welcome to Mutants Rising! Please read the checklist and submit your account within 24 hours.

NAME/ALIAS: Morgan

PRONOUNS: She / Her

AGE: 27

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL: EST, On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d say I can be a 7. I’m in a D&D group who play late on Fridays and Saturdays, so I’ll be less active on those days. I hope that’s alright!

In Character Information:

DESIRED ROLE: Ciara Sawyer

GENDER/PRONOUNS: She / Her

DETAILS & ANALYSIS:

Ciara is one of 5 kids. Specifically, the middle child. Often forgotten and overlooked. As a young child, her personality was quiet and soft spoken which did not mesh well with her siblings louder, more boisterous ones. It was often joked that she was adopted. Which was untrue, she was her mother’s daughter for sure. Though whether the man that she called her father was actually her father? That’s another story.

She prefers tea over coffee. Not that she doesn’t drink coffee, she does, but she would much rather be curled up on a couch with a good cup of tea. She’s learned about how tea blends are made and has started making her own. She keeps mixes of different ingredients around. Holy basil, chamomile, lemon balm, and lavender for relaxation, peppermint, rosemary, thyme, and lemon verbena for people feeling unwell.

She enjoys to baking and she’s a decent cook as well. It’s soothing to her, being able to cook food and support herself. It’s something she learned to do from an early age. When she’s in a bad mood or just needs to wind down, you can usually find her quietly working away on something in the kitchen.

Art has always caught her attention and though it isn’t something she’s good at, she has dabbled in it before, mostly in her childhood. It was something she could do without drawing too much attention and offering her a calm space away from her loud family.

Ever since she was a kid she’s been allergic to pineapple. It’s not going to kill her if it’s just a little but it’s not really fun to eat. Her mouth gets numb and swollen it’s just not good. Safe to say she’s firmly in the no pineapple on pizza club. Though it was used against her a few times by her siblings, so she doesn’t usually tell anyone.

Ciara is someone with a good heart but it’s often hidden behind her quiet personality and general uncertainty of other people. When she cares about someone, she cares about them deeply. Often worrying over them and doing her best to make sure everything gets worked out. When she sees a person, she tries to look past the material to see is what is in them. What truly lives inside their heart and soul.

People often look over Ciara, she’s the person you bump into coming out of a coffee shop or that you cut in front of because you didn’t see them standing in line. For a moment the serious and tired look on her face would make someone think that she was angry or annoyed. But usually a small soft smile breaks through and shows that kind and funny side that she usually hides. She is certainly not the most personable person or charismatic but she at least tries, though often people just don’t seem to understand her.

BIO:

A family lived In a small city just north of Chicago called Evanston. For most families, another baby is a reason for celebration but it wasn’t so with Ciara. Her parents already had their hands full with two other kids, who were both girls as well. So it was easy for her to be over-looked and put to the side when she was born. Ciara’s parents had been hoping for a son and that set her up for disappointment from the moment they found out that she was a girl. She wouldn’t know that though. Not until she got a little bit older. Those few oblivious years were some of the best she would have in her childhood. Her parent’s took care of her, at least until she could walk and sort of talk on her own. Then she was left to her own devices, being watched by her older sisters who only saw her as a doll they could dress up and poke fun at. As soon as she turned five, everything went down hill from there.

That was when her mother found out that she was pregnant again. This time there was good news, at least good news for them. They were going to have a baby brother and not just one but two! The house they all lived in was comfortable for the 5 of them but with two more people on the way it quickly moved from comfortable, to cramped. Her oldest sister was allowed to keep her own room but Ciara was forced to move in with her second oldest sister. At first she was excited about it. She always looked up to her sisters and getting to share a room with one of them seemed so exciting. Quickly, her hopes and excitement were dashed as her sister just took over most of the room. Never one to argue, Ciara would just nod and go along with whatever her sister said. Which included taking things of hers and telling her that they were too pretty for her or something along those lines. The first few times she ran to her parents, they told her not to argue with her sisters and why couldn’t she just get along with everyone else.

This caused her to retreat even more into her shell. It became a defense mechanism for her in order to get through her days. Just make yourself as small as possible and take up the smallest amount of space. That didn’t stop her sisters from teasing her however. When the twins were born, she hoped that maybe for a second they would move on and leave her alone. But instead as the twins got older, they picked up on the older sisters habits and started to pick on Ciara as well. Every day was hard to get through but she pushed on, determined to not let anyone see how much it bothered her. Even through all of this, it never broke her spirit. Her trust in others was damaged but she tried her hardest to be a good girl, to get her parents to notice her, just for a few moments.

Even in school, she was an outcast. At first she tried to do well in school and get good grades. Up until high school she did just that. Though again, it went unnoticed by her parents. Her siblings were always better than her, or more trouble than her in the twins case, and she continued to be overlooked. While in high school she was made fun of for being the quiet, smart kid so in a bid to at least fit in a little, Ciara stopped trying so hard. Her straight A’s slipped to mostly B’s with the occasional C. Even that didn’t catch her parents attention. Ciara was out of ideas. Nothing seemed to phase her parents. It was almost like she was invisible to them.

The more she thought about it, the more real it seemed to be. For a while she thought that she was making it up in her head. Just small things, like her family not setting a place for her at the table or her mother grounding her because her sister had said that she had snuck out, even though she had been taking a nap in her bedroom to try to avoid the general rowdiness and loud nature of their chaotic household. The nail in the coffin was the day when she was finishing taking a shower and one of her brothers had found a way to unlock the door and had stolen her towel. She could feel the tears and frustration welling up in her. It didn’t matter that she was getting ready for her high school graduation, which everyone seemed to forget, or that she hadn’t done anything to deserve the way she was being treated. As she looked in the mirror, expecting to see her tear stained cheeks, instead she saw nothing but the bathrooms reflection. She waved in front of the mirror and still saw nothing. Where she thought she’d feel panic, there was nothing. Ciara was finally as invisible as she always had been.

One would think that something like that would make someone panic but instead, it just made Ciara feel comfortable in her skin. She had heard all about mutants but she never thought she was one. Well, not since she was a kid who thought it looked cool. Growing up she realized that it wasn’t as good as it seemed. Plus her family had stayed firmly on the ‘ no mutants’ side. So she kept it a secret and planned to leave as soon as she could.

It only took her a few months to save up enough to where she thought she could survive on her own. So one night she packed up her things and left for Chicago, never looking back. As far as she knows no one cared or came looking for her. It’s been almost 10 years since then and she’s pretty sure they don’t even think about her anymore. Which hurts her but she tries not to let it show. She’s made her own place and is in the process of trying to make her own family. Though that’s easier said than done. Ciara’s learned a lot about herself through the years, but she still has a long way to go.

EXPANDED CONNECTIONS:

Tierney:

She was surprised when she clicked with him as much as she did. At first, she was wary of him but by working with him more and more she found a connection with him and owes him more than he’ll ever realize by just being there for her and not caring if her defense is to joke about things, even when the tensions are high. Something in her tell her this is what having a sibling should have been like, but she doesn’t dare say that out loud. Instead she often gifts him baked things. Never with a name but she’s pretty sure he knows it’s her. She tells almost no one about her family but she thinks that maybe one day, she might be able to talk to him.

Bea:

There was something that drew Ciara to her, almost like a magnetic pull. Everything about her, she adored. For a long time, she just wanted to make her happy, to see her smile even if it was only a small up turn at the corners of her mouth. She wanted someone to give her whole heart to and she thought she found that in Bea. There were things she told her and confided in her, that no one else knows. That’s what made the blow up of their relationship so painful to her. Someone else who she had given her heart and soul to only to have it destroyed again. She’s still hurting from that, but she puts on a brave face for the other. If she made it through her childhood, she can do this. But there is still a soft spot in her heart for her.

Rebeka:

It’s not often that Ciara hates. But oh does she hate Rebeka. It feels like she’s the personification of all of her siblings, blaming her for things that she did wrong when really, it was their own fault. They had been friends before that. Maybe Ciara was trying to make peace with how she left, thinking of her like one of her siblings, that if she could be friends with her than maybe things might work out alright. But she always had to be right, always had to get her way and grated on Ciara’s every nerve. It’s hard for someone to push her but Rebeka does it well and often. Joining the King’s Collective was just salt in the wound for her.

EXTRA: I made a mock blog / inspo blog for her [ here ]

ANYTHING ELSE: If possible, I’d like to change her fc to Juliana Herz please!

[povertytaurus]

Lesson One: The Wheel of the Zodiac

So what is the zodiac?

Technically they're just constellations chilling around up there. Really. In astrology they're used like spices, think of the sign as the flavor of what's going on in the house. There's spicy aries, which is like a cajun blend. There's scorpio with a hint of licorice. And Libra with a balanced citrus sort of flavor. What? I know.

The Elements

So there is balance here. Four elements, earth, air, water, and fire. They interact with each other in different ways. So when you guys are shipping cancers and capricorns together, that's because they're complementary signs. They sit across from each other at the table. Taurus natives and cancers still get along, but scorpio is better. This is because taurus and scorpio are also sitting across from each other at the table. Generally speaking, earth and water signs are comfortable with each other. That's what we can grasp from this. So following this train of complimentary logic, Gemini and Sagittarius are a nice pair, because fire and air go together naturally. But you may wonder, why is it like this? Why is the Libra/Leo ship not setting sail? This is because we can divide it up even further. Within an elemental grouping, each sign still differs from each other. We divide that up into Cardinal, Mutable, and Fixed. So the divisions go like this:

Cardinal: Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn.

Fixed: Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius.

Mutable: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces.

So basically if you stay in these groups with complimentary elements, it's all good. The signs in the elements also get along. Cardinal signs are enterprising, and ambitious. Fixed signs are stable, and strategic. And mutable signs are flexible and changing.

Earth signs like Taurus, Capricorn, and Virgo all get along with each other.

Air signs like Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius all chill and chat together.

And Fire signs like Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius all party with each other.

What happens when you put together signs that don't get along? Well one usually puts too much pressure on the other. The reason water and earth work together is because water signs emotionally feed earth signs, and earth signs give structure to water signs.

You see earth signs tend to be pretty rigid and strategic.

And water signs are very flowy and emotional.

Have you ever heard the saying fanning the flames? Most definatly that's what's going on with the air and fire duos as well. So when aries and libra come together, the two are egging each other on.

Air signs are extremely cerebral and curious.

And fire signs are very creative and ambitious.

So if you put fire sign with a water, the water smothers the fire, and the fire is usually frustrating to the water. Fire and earth, well, wild fires.

In the following descriptions, I will not be speaking as though I'm talking about a person. This lesson is not about sun signs. The reason why is because learning how the zodiac behaves only through the sun's influence is not good practice. Sure an aries sun will act as you would expect from an aries sun, punchy, independant, and this is true. But how would a person act if their mars was in aries? The same? No. Not quite. Because planetary placements are not quite the same, or you might already have it figured out. Every sign has its ruler, and mars happens to be the ruler of aries, so the aries vibe will come through more prominently than the sun could show. My below description is designed so that you can get a sense for each sign in the zodiac, that way you can come to filter it like light through each planet.

Now let's look at each individual Zodiac Constellation...

Aries

Here we have a cardinal fire sign, so immediately we know there's an innovating, ambitious, creative. Since it's the first sign in the zodiac, a planet may indicate being first here, hence innovation. Aries is a trend setter, because he just simply doesn't care what you think. He's an independant kind, he likes to do things his own way, and at his own pace, because this pace is fast. This may also indicate an impatient nature. This is where people get the idea that aries is an aggressive sign. I dont think hes so much aggressive, as he's actually just very adamant. As far as vibes go, he's a very excited sign, no, he's amped! His ruler is Mars, the planet of action. So when it comes down to it, aries is a doer, he wants to put his ideas into action. The angst is real! Anyone with an aries placement will feel a need to take action in that part of their life, and if they cannot it will manifest as an anxiety. Though most of the time aries is strong and brave, he can take ‘em!

Taurus

This is a fixed earth sign. Taurus loves all things stable and reliable. She is much the opposite of aries, she is very patient, and always stops to smell the flowers. Taurus has a reputation of being lazy, but it's not the case, she just wants to be certain, so she takes slow steps toward progress. She is ruled by venus, the planet of love and art, so it is certain that Taurus has an appreciation for things coming from the heart, things which are beautiful. She also has a deep appreciation for nature. When a planet is in taurus there is often a richness in it. This planet will want stability, but also beauties. Taurus is a beautiful lady walking in nature, she is able to find the beauty in everything.

Gemini

This is a mutable air sign, Gemini is a wiz kid. Like all air signs they enjoy thought. They're your younger sibling who can kick butt at trivia. How do they know so much? Gemini by nature knows a little about a lot of different subjects. A jack of all trades! That is their nature, being mutable. Gemini is at the library hitting the books at the library right now! They've got five books going at once. They want to string together all the little facts to make a complete picture. There is something hectic with them though, they may be a little scattered at times, which makes them hard to follow. This is the archetype of a scattered mind. Gemini is ruled by the planet mercury, which is the planet of communication and thought. This sign adds an air of playful curiosity to whatever it influences.

Cancer

This is the archetype of a mother, she just wants to nurture and be nurtured. She is a soft girl, who doesn't want to hurt anyone. She is deeply empathetic, if not a little overly emotional. Really, she is emotion. She is ruled by the moon, planet of emotion. So you see how deep this runs. Cancer is a fixed water sign: she likes her security, and can be upset when that security is threatened. Like many other water signs, she is very intuitive and emotional. Having a placement in cancer will bring a sensitivity to that area of life, and can indicate something having to do with a mother. Planets embraced by this energy will take on an emotional, intuitive, or nurturing theme, depending on house, and planets involved.

Leo

This sign is the king of the zodiac, and he's got some great hair. Leo is the sign of congeniality, he is either really enjoyable, or really formidable. He is spirited in his expression, and passionate about his ideals. He is ruled by the sun, so a leo sun is easy to spot, as the sun is most forthcoming in this position. He is a fixed sign, and so looks for security in his creative endeavors, and his interaction with others. Leo, like other fire signs is competitive and active. Having a placement in Leo will emphasize the creativity of that area, as well as a desire to be noticed by others. He is the guy at all the parties with the great smile who can talk to just about anyone with ease.

Virgo

I don't know why, but virgo can be a tricky sign for a lot of people. Virgo is a very wise lady, but very humble. She doesn't want to make anyone feel bad for not knowing something, as she knows she once was there too. She is ruled by mercury, so this stimulates a cognitive function in the sign, however she is an earth sign, so still very grounded in her nature. This is counteracted into a balance, as she is a mutable sign, creating a sort of flexibility in her. Having a placement in virgo will give that area of life a strategic function, an organized, and orderly nature. Virgo is that girl at the library everyday with beautiful eyes who is researching anatomy, and poetry, simultaneously. You want to talk to her, but sometimes she can come off a little cold.

Libra

Libra is more or less the opposite of Gemini: Gemini takes two sides in the extreme, and Libra takes the two and blends them together. There is a distinct need for harmony and balance with libra. They are a cardinal air sign, which means they strive for innovative ideas. But more so they want to organize and orchestrate. Like other air signs, libra delights in conversation, as well as intellectual pursuits. They love to have friends with whom they can share their ideas, and especially be shared with. Libra is a gentle sign that is very good at listening, they want to bridge the gap between two ways of thought. Libra like taurus is ruled by venus, which gives them a deep appreciation for beauty, especially from a social standpoint. Libra is that sweet person everyone knows, who speaks with everyone all the time, but makes you feel special to be their friend.

Sagittarius

He is the ultimate bro, this guy is the best to be around. He is always upbeat, always optimistic, and always great to have conversations with. He is ruled by jupiter, a planet of expansion, which means the area touched by sagittarius’ energy will be one of growth. He is known for his long distance travels, and philosophical conversations. Sagittarius is a mutable fire sign, making him quite competitive, if not a little bit perfectionist. Like the other fire signs, he is very driven, and like other mutable signs, very flexible. Sagittarius is your favorite beat poet, traveling across the country, rolling with the punches. He loves to be active, and outside experiencing his life to the fullest. He is just in search of a good time.

Scorpio

Scorpio is a delicious and deep sign to have a placement in. Placements here will cause equal parts pain and enjoyment. This is the sign of secrets, of obsessions, of transformation and growth. She is a deep well with emotions buried within her. She is a fixed water sign ruled by Pluto, which is an explosive combination. Her fixed nature makes her secretive, and the fact that she is a water sign implies a great many emotions. Also intuition and matters of the occult. Pluto makes this a transformative sign, and these areas of life will have a transformative nature. Scorpio is the girl you see who never says anything, but the one time you spoke to her it changed everything. Scorpio by all means is a game changer.

Aquarius

People with strong aquarian energy are a lot of fun to be around. They're unique people who highly value their independence and freedom. They have strong ideals with which they are usually strongly attached to, but you can be certain that these ideals are unique and perfectly suited to them individually. They are deep thinkers as air signs, and you can be sure aquarius will come up with some new ideas. Aquarius wants to question things, and ultimately change the world. They can sometimes be slightly detached, and feel often like they're on the outside looking in on all the festivities. Aquarius is a fixed air sign, which is why they're solid in their ideals. And they are ruled by Uranus, the planet of innovation and progress. They have a strong urge to help others grow.

Capricorn

This is the archetype of the father. He is there to construct boundaries. He wants to form the native into a more solid and complete person. His energy at times can seem a little rigid, and constricting, but he is just doing this because there is something to be learned. He likely has a dry sense of humor and a very straight forward sort of essence. He is simplistic, and direct for an earth sign, capricorn is extremely practical. He is ruled by saturn, the teacher of lessons. He is a cardinal earth sign, which actually gives him more ambition as an earth sign. He is very traditional, and likely to want to build something solid from scratch. Capricorn is most definitely not afraid of hard work! Anywhere the energy of capricorn touches, it will be a practical field where the native may be very direct in their approach. Alternatively there may be something to learn.

Pisces

Pisces is a mirror. They are a little bit of all of the signs, and reflect whatever they are seeing. They are truly the most empathetic sign of the bunch because of this. They being a water sign, are very emotional and extremely intuitive. And you can see the mutable nature in their willingness to adapt to any situation. But the ruler of this sign is Neptune, the planet of imagination. So pisces is incredibly creative and imagination driven. This can lead them to have a sort of spacey outlook. There is a slight duality in them, as there is a pulling in two different directions. Pisces is the friend with sparkly eyes and big dreams. Anything that is touched by watery pisces might have an imaginative nature, or pull in its duality. It is all up to the native, and the area it is touching.

Extra reading:

None this lesson, if you would like to, further research the signs.

Assignments/Review:

Why do all the signs under an element get along?

What signs get along?

Are there any signs which share rulers? Would they get along? Why?

Sort out the fixed signs from the mutable and cardinal.

Sort out earth, fire, and water signs.

What energies are pronounced in your chart by what planets are at home in their signs? How does it act out in your chart?

Which of these signs is your favorite energy in your chart, and why?

Remember you have the option to reblog this post with the responses to the assignments, and I'll give you feedback on your work!

*And to follow and opt for notifications so we can get into the nitty gritty of astrology.

[cotton-candy-haze]

OC ASKS: If you could sort all your OCs into Hogwarts Houses (besides your Harry Potter ones) which House would they be sorted into and can you give a brief blurb on why?

Thanks so much for the asks! I appreciate you. 🤗

Before we get into it, I'm going to briefly mention my Harry Potter OCs for anyone that doesn't know/is curious.

Adeline Ronan ~ Gryffindor

Elliot Ronan ~ Gryffindor

Jessica Moreno ~ Hufflepuff

Now, onto the actual show!

☾Arrowverse☽

Alexandra Thorne ~ Slytherin

Alex is ambitious and strong-willed about everything she does. She wants to be the best and she's not ready to let anybody stop her. Alex is also extremely resourceful and she knows what to do to get what she wants and needs. She is determined and stops at nothing to achieve her goals.

Jakob Burnouf ~ Hufflepuff

Jakob cares deeply about the people in his life and his loyalty is unbreakable. He sticks to the sidelines, doesn't like to put himself in the spotlight, but he'll so anything required of him if it means helping a loved one. He's honest to a fault and, once something captures his attention, he works tirelessly to take care of it.

Penelope Sheppard ~ Ravenclaw

Penny is extremely intelligent and she's fully aware of that, but she doesn't get cocky about it. Her whole life has been a pursuit of knowledge; of learning everything she can about any given subject. She's kind, so she tries not to overshadow others, but she could easily outsmart a wide range of people.

☾ATLA☽

Noka ~ Gryffindor

Noka is embodied by bravery just as much as she's embodied by chaos. There are very few things in life that scare her and she's not afraid to cause a bit of a ruckus. She also cares a lot about those that she thinks need protecting. Noka is always looking out for the little guy and she'll stick her neck out for those that need help.

☾MCU☽

Abigail Rogers ~ Hufflepuff

Abby is quiet and reserved; distant from those she doesn't know. Around loved ones, however, she is warm and loving and loyal. She protects those she cares about and sticks by their side no matter what. She is also a hard worker, never one to abandon a project until she's seen it through to completion.

Evelyn Hayden ~ Slytherin

Evelyn embodies the worst of this house, using her ambition and her cunning to cause harm. She's intelligent and tricky and she uses these abilities to get around obstacles in her life. Her determination leads her to use extreme means to meet her goals, and she's not afraid to manipulate others to get things done.

Beatrice Velasquez ~ Gryffindor

Bea isn't afraid to run into danger if it means helping somebody in need. She's as brave as they come, facing difficult life circumstances and coming out on the other side, not unscathed but alive. Bea is daring and has a strong moral compass, feeling compelled to help those around her no matter what.

Leah O’Conner ~ Hufflepuff

Leah is a kind soul, hardened by a tough life, but caring nonetheless. She is loyal to those she considers family and is difficult to sway from her convictions. She's a hard worker, determined to do everything she can for herself. She doesn't like to look weak, so she toughs it out with determination.

Artemas ~ Ravenclaw

Artemas is a seeker of knowledge and a lifelong learner. She takes every situation as an opportunity to learn and expand her talents. She's calm and collected, able to keep a clear head in the middle of chaos. There's nothing she can't master or accomplish once she puts her mind to it.

Apollina ~ Slytherin

Apollina is, at times, too ambitious for her own good. She has high expectations and she is determined to always achieve them. She wants to be the best at everything she does. She's intelligent and relies on that intelligence to get her way. Apollina is also very resourceful and is somehow always able to talk her way out of trouble.

☾Merlin☽

Betony Pendragon ~ Gryffindor

Betony has been courageous for her entire life, never afraid to get into trouble if it means helping someone else out. She's a little bit reckless and has an inclination toward dangerous situations. She likes to live on the wild side and sees rules as suggestions. She's also always ready to defend.

Eilwen ~ Hufflepuff

Eilwen is in tune with the emotional, empathetic aspects of magic. She's a gentle, caring person who feels deeply for those around her. She's helpful and humble, more focused on pushing others forward than stepping into the spotlight herself. She's also honest and very against lying.

☾Umbrella Academy☽

Elena Hargreeves ~ Hufflepuff

Elena is dedicated to helping those around her in small quiet ways. She doesn't seek out praise and, in fact, would rather that her actions remain behind the scenes. She also highly values loyalty and would do anything for her loved ones, even if things are tense between them. She's ultimately an optimist.

Mollie Fitzpatrick ~ Slytherin

Mollie seeks out success in everything she does and her talents often allow her to achieve that. She's determined and a hard worker, meaning that she doesn't stop until she's achieved her goals. She's an ambitious individual, sometimes struggling between chasing out a dream or sticking to something more realistic.

☾White Collar☽

Alana Montague ~ Ravenclaw

Alana is a very intelligent individual who has made a job out of seeking information. She's very curious and is always open to learning more about whatever's on her mind. She also has creative tendencies that she will sometimes hide behind strict intelligence. She likes to keep herself in check by following strict guidelines.

Eliana Bennett ~ Slytherin

Eliana is inspired by the finer things in life, pushed by an ambitious personality to seek them out. She's extremely cunning and intelligent, and she relies on that to make her way in the world. She has a strong personality and has no issue getting others to follow her lead.

[miax1119]

Land Girls Fanfiction

Morning sickness

updated version of Morning sickness and revelations

Esther had been sick every morning for the past two weeks. Martin heard her throwing up every morning. She was usually first up but lately she just couldn’t sleep enough to avoid fatigue shortly after she got out of bed. She knew she was four weeks late and her nausea was a hint she couldn’t ignore anymore accompanied by the fatigue. It was early in the morning. A few sunbeams were shining through the window and upon her figure. She was dressed in her nightgown and bending over the washstand fighting her nausea. She didn’t hear the light knock on the door as she emptied her stomach once more.  Joyce opened the door carefully and peaked inside. She too was an early bird and as she passed Esther’s room she heard Esther throwing up. “Esther – are you alright?” when she saw Esther at the washstand she hurried to her aid. “You´re sick!” Joyce took a wet cloth and wiped Esther’s forehead and lips. Esther steadied herself on the small table with one hand while the other rested on her abdomen. She closed her eyes and tired to compose herself. “I´ll be alright – it´ll go away any minute now – it always does” She rubbed her tummy. Joyce looked concerned at Esther. Her hand on her abdomen…nausea, and the statement that it would go away any minute. “Esther, are you sure you´re alright?” Esther looked at Joyce. Lips slightly parted - contemplating whether or not she could tell Joyce her secret. But she didn’t have the courage and sat down on her bed. “It´s just the flu I suppose” Joyce sat down next to her. She couldn’t look Esther in the eye as she asked her: ”Are you and Finch… I mean do you and Mr. Finch…” She looked at Esther “Are you pregnant?” Esther looked shocked “Why would you say that?” “Because you have morning sickness!” Esther looked down “How did you find out?” “Well the walls are quite thin and I´ve heard you being sick every morning for a few days now, but nothing seems to be wrong during the day. You´ve been a bit touchy lately - you´ve been avoiding the cooking… And you did get sick at the party the other day” “I thought no one saw me” “Quite a few saw you actually – I’m sorry – does Finch know?” Esther didn’t know what to say - how to explain. “No and I don’t want him to know” “But you can´t hide it forever… How far along are you?” “About two months… but I’m not planning on keeping it” “But people will find out before you can give it up or give it away. You can’t hide this Esther” “I´m not planning on having this baby… There´s lady in town…” Joyce took hold of Esther’s hand “Please don’t – it’s not safe… think of Martin” Esther stood up and stated pacing the room “Don’t you think I am… what about the shame?  I´m not seventeen like Bea… I won’t be forgiven” Joyce stood up and took hold of Esther´s shoulders “Think about it Esther. Martin needs you. And you could do a lot worse than Finch… think of Storey” Joyce smiled but Esther tried to hide her agitation at the mention of Vernon Storey, “I need time to think” Joyce gave her hand a small squeeze. “Alright. But promise me you´ll talk to Finch about it?” Esther didn’t answer. Joyce went downstairs to find Finch at the kitchen table fiddling with some coins.   He looked a bit surprised to see her “Where´s Esther?” “Oh she wasn’t feeling well – but she´ll be down in a minute” “Odd she´s been feeling sick every morning for the last few days” He stated as he rubbed the dirt of the coins. Joyce was preparing the kettle but turned around “Yeah, that’s how morning sickness works isn’t it?” She looked at Finch and within a few second he looked up at her “morning sickness?” “Yeah, but she doesn’t want you to know… ” He was a bit shocked. More shocked than when he found out Esther had sold herself to Storey. He cared deeply for Esther. He didn’t realize how much until he learned how Storey had taken advantage of her. Joyce assumed Finch was the father and somehow he didn’t mind that assumption. He took a stand and looked Joyce directly in the eye. Joyce didn’t know what to think of his expression – mostly shock she would say. He went up the stairs in a brisk stride. He knocked once on Esther´s door as he entered. He didn’t notice she was standing there in her nightgown. “Is it true? Are you expecting” Esther quickly went for the door and closed it but too late. Connie heard Finch´s words as she passed the door and stopped in shock. What the hell did he just say? Esther… pregnant… with him? Esther pulled her arms around herself feeling a bit exposed. “Lower your voice please” Esther hissed at him. He took hold of her hands. “Is it true?” She looked down with shame “Yes” and when she looked back up tears were running down her cheeks. Finch pulled her into his embrace. “What will I do? How will I tell Martin?” She asked “Tell him its mine!” Esther pulled back “But we…” “I know… but everybody already assumes you and I…”   “But the shame Fred…” “Let me deal with that…” He could see she was fighting an inner battle of conscience. He placed his large hand on her abdomen and she gasped at his touch. It had been almost three years since she last felt a tender touch. He felt how soft her stomach through the thin fabric and the heat radiating into his hand. She placed both her hands over his, but she didn’t attempt to remove it. They just looked at each other. He leaned in and kissed her softly on her cheek.  “Let me be here for you?” She was a good looking woman in her prime. Lovely round figure. Skilful in the house as well in the field. She would be a good farmer’s wife. Connie couldn’t help herself. She was peeking through the keyhole and saw Mr. Finch tenderly holding Esther sliding his arm around her – kissing her! Oh my. “Connie! What are you doing?” She was surprised by Iris in the hall. “shyy take a look – you won’t believe your own eyes. Finch and Esther are going at it” Connie whispered “What” “shyyyy – be quiet” Connie pulled Iris towards the door. “Look” Iris peeked inside the keyhole and sure enough she saw Finch´s arm around Esther in a warm embrace. She didn’t know what to think. It was forbidden to have any relationship to any men while employed as a land girl. Iris´s eyes were ready to pop out and Connie giggled. “Well didn’t see that one coming – come on we better get downstairs before we get caught” Connie didn’t mention the pregnancy. Esther didn’t know how to feel or what to think “Thank you Fred – it´s a kind offer” “Think about it Esther… You know Stanley´s properly not coming home.. You haven’t heard from him in more than a year… You and Martin belong here now… this is your home” She turned around. She was feeling lightheaded, properly because her stomach was empty more or less… “I´m not sure Fred” She took a step forward but was overcome by dizziness. “Oh” she put her hand to her mouth and tried to reach the washstand. Fred noticed her struggle and helped her to the table but her stomach was empty. “I´m sorry – I look awful” she accepted the cloth he handed her and wiped her face. Her nightgown might not have been the best to conceal her figure but Fred admired every curve. She caught his admiring stare and he started stuttering “Yeah well - think about it… My offer stands” “Thank you Fred” she smiled at him as he left her room.

 It was early in the evening. Esther was taking a walk around the farm and stopped at the gates to the fields. She was leaning on the gate overlooking the pasture contemplating her options and caressing her stomach. Frank was on his way to the house when he saw Esther by the gate looking down, both hands on her stomach. He approached her slowly not wanting to startle her. “Fine evening… enjoying the sunset?” Esther quickly let down her hands. “Yeah, just needed some fresh air” Frank joined her by the gate “it´s a fine view” “Yes it is” She looked miles away. Frank looked at her “The view this way is not bad either” She looked at him a bit skeptic “why would you say that?” “Because you´re glowing” he looked down at her stomach. She didn’t like it. She felt exposed and pulled her cardigan around herself. “Mrs. Gulliver has been asking odd questions for a while about you and Fred. It didn’t hit me until I saw you standing here… with your hands on…” Esther looked away: “that snake – she´s filled with poison” She felt rage building inside her. “Only - they are not lies…are they?” Frank asked. Esther looked bewildered at him. “You think Fred and me?” She paused Frank looked down at her “Well the proof will soon be hard to miss…right?” Her eyes didn’t leave his but her hands went for her stomach. Tears welling up she turned her back on him. “Does Fred know?” Frank asked but didn’t get an answer so he continued: “Fred is a good man” She slightly turned her head “Yes, he is” “He´ll take good care of you… and the baby” “Yeah…” She headed towards the house.

A week later Esther was on her way to town when Vernon Storey caught up with her. “Afternoon Mrs. Reeves” he greeted her. She tried to ignore him, but Vernon Storey was not a man who´d let anyone ignore him and especially not the woman of his desires. “You look very nice – almost glowing” he smiled wicked “I wondered if I might buy you a drink?” “No!” She kept walking Vernon was an impatient man and he stepped in front of her blocking her way “Don’t you have something to tell me?” She stopped but looked at him furiously. “Get out of my sight!” “Please I just want to talk” “I have nothing to say to you” Vernon was far superior in strength and he backed her up against a tree just a few inches away. He pressed himself against her and the force of the tree in her back made her groan slightly and her put her hands protectively around her stomach. Vernon’s intention was a stolen kiss but her groan made him stop and look down at her with concern and his gaze fell upon her protective hand on her stomach. His right hand went for her abdomen. He remembered the last time he felt her softness. He had heard rumors from Gulliver that Fred and Esther were living in sin and that Esther showed signs of pregnancy. But that would mean she was carrying his child – from their one night of sin. “Get your hands of me!” She knew he was thinking back at that night. “The rumors are true then! You´re pregnant? Oh Esther – I…” he didn’t get to say anymore because Fred was approaching from behind. He´d seen the scene unfold from afar and hurried on. “What´s going on here? Esther I thought you were resting at home?” When Fred reached Esther he placed his arm around her shoulders. “Come on I better take you home.. Out of my way Storey!” but Vernon wasn’t done. “you and I are not finished Esther” “Oh I´m sure Mrs. Reeves doesn’t know what you mean” Fred replied “Oh she knows” Vernon pointed his finger towards Esther’s stomach “She is carrying my child!” Fred laid his hand on her stomach. “Oh you mean this? – nahh you must be mistaken. This here is mine – isn’t it Esther?” Fred gave her a little squeeze: “Yeah” was all she could get out. Vernon stepped forward “That child is mine!” Fred leaned towards Vernon: “You just keep yourself away from her – she wants nothing to do with you – you hear?!” Vernon snorted “you haven’t heard the last from me” And then he turned around and left. “Are you alright?” Fred asked concerned. Esther closed her eyes for a moment “yeah, yeah I think so.. I´m off to town” “I´ll make you company. Don’t want Vernon creeping up on you again” Esther was thankful. She didn’t know what to expect from Vernon. Outside the pub they ran into Mrs. Gulliver… “Well now – if it isn’t Bathsheba and David” She looked at them with great distaste. “Just keep out of my way” Esther snarled at her. Fred followed her. “How are we going to deal with that snake Fred?” Fred put an arm around her shoulder which didn’t go unnoticed by Gulliver. “We´ll stick together – you´re not alone in this” Esther looked at Fred with great compassion “How did I come to deserve your friendship Fred?” “You live under my roof – we go together well you and I” He smiled “Yes, we do”

[empresstress13]

OC Questions!!!

I was tagged by @dragynfox the wonderful! 

I’ve only talk a very little about any of my OC characters on here because I’m shy about them. The few mentions have been from Dragon Age and since that’s my current obsession it’s what will be appearing here as well! I kind of winged this - sorry if it seems disjointed!  

I’ll go ahead and start at the beginning with 2 of my wardens: Surana and Tabris - both originally inseparable troublemakers of the Denerim Alienage! Surana is my “canon” HoF . . . but I head-canon that Tabris manages to somehow survive everything and they manage to reunite in Denerim.

1. What is your name?

BT: *smiling sweetly* Beatrix Tabris! Bea to my friends and Death to my enemies, think 'bout which category you’d prefer to be in.  

NS: *does not look up from a large tome she’s reading*

2. No seriously, what is your name?

BT: *poking Surana*. . . . Nara. . . . NARA! 

NS: *still not looking up* What, Bea? 

BT: *rolls her eyes, before responding in a sing-song voice* civilized people introduce themselves! 

NS:*turning a page* well, since we’re just a dangerous elvhen mage and an impudent alienage thief then there is no point! 

BT:*snatches the tome before dancing out of NS’s reach* ah-ah-ah~! Be a dear and introduce yourself to our lovely new friends, won’t you?

NS: *raising a brow* well, if my lady of shadows insists! I am Nehnara. Nehnara Surana. *sends a minor shock at Beatrix, who gasps and drops the tome which Nehnara promptly picks up*

BT: Andraste’s flammable ass! Shite, that stings, you friggin’ piss-bucket! 

3. Do you know why you were called that?

NS: Presumably my parents were partial to the name. 

BT: *rubbing her side* since she sucks the joy out of things, her da thought they’d at least put some joy in her name . . . hmmmm, Nehn?

NS: My, my, my! Someone’s picked up some knowledge!

BT: See! Even outside of your fancy-pants circle we sometimes learn things! 

NS: *actually smiling* well . . .you were always a quick study. 

4. Are you single or taken?

BT: *with an innocent expression* Taken? Taken where?

NS: *snorts* Don’t be falsely obtuse. It doesn’t suit you; they would like to know about you and your chantry sister.

BT: You’re the one who introduced us! Besides, wouldn’t you rather speak of your pretty, witty crow?

NS: *smiles coyly* Are you asking for details?

BT: Admit it: you have a soft spot for us sneaky types!

NS: ...Perhaps. 

5. Do you have any abilities or powers?

NS: *cocks head* one could say so. . . . 

BT: HAH! And false Modesty doesn’t suit you! Prodigy of Kinloch Hold! Mage of the Circle! Hero of Ferelden! Commander of the Grey! Arlessa of Amarathi-

NS: That last one has nothing to do with abilities or power-

BT: Now you’re bein’ dull, sparky-fingers, political power totally-

NS: AND FURTHERMORE, considering the average Circle mage I very much doubt that’s much of a title to take pride i-

BT: Aaaaand now we see why false modesty doesn’t suit you, besides all that magic stuff seems plenty powerful to us normal folk. 

NS: “Us normal folk” from the Shadow of Denerim? Spymaster of Amarathine? The Dancing Blade? Slayer of evil shem lordlings who were never taught to keep their hands to themselves? 

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

BT: Mary what now? 

NS: . . . ? These questions are going from slightly annoying and inconvenient to downright inane. 

7. What is your eye color?

NS: . . . . absolutely INANE. 

BT: *flutters eyelashes* will you write me sonnets to my . . .what is the phrase? Cerulean orbs? 

8. How about your hair color?

NS: *sighs* My eyes are hazel. My hair is auburn. 

BT: She’s a ginger alright!

NS: AUBURN. 

BT: *winks* I’m a brunette. 

9. Have you any family members?

NS: . . . . inane and personal I see. 

BT: *gently placing a hand on Nehnara’s shoulder* It’s not uncommon to lose relatives to bigotry and harsh conditions . . . I’m lucky enough to still have my da and cousins . . . but we’ve all lost someone. 

NS: *glaring* Those who were mine just also happen to all be dead. That enough for you? Move on. 

10. I see… what about pets?

BT: C’mere girl!

NS: *whistles* Phaelan! 

*Two mabari war-hounds and several puppies come bounding towards the interviewer. . .I’d brace myself if I were you.*

NS: My hound imprinted on me during the Blight. Named Phaelan . . .aft. . .after my father. 

BT: *pulling Nehnara into cuddles with the mabari* And this is Blossom; Nara introduced me to her! As well as their pups: Linmi, Tulip, and Duncan!  

11. Tell me about something you don’t like.

NS: *deadpans* Inane questions. And those who ask them.

BT: *her smile suddenly turning sharp* Entitled little pricks. That sort usually finds they have very little good coming to ‘em. *smile returning to normal* Nara also dislikes onions and hot weather! 

NS: I do better with heat than I use to . . . I seem to recall that you dislike tomato juice. Not tomatoes, just the juice.

BT: ‘Cuz it’s gross! 

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

BT: I really enjoy music! Leliana has been teaching me how to play the lute! Oh! And since I’ve left Denerim I’ve taken to collecting and pressing flowers! 

NS: Actually, luckily enough, I do in fact enjoy the study of magic-

BT: And of history, and languages, and science, and politics, an-

NS: Yes, thank you for that insightful clarification. I’ve also been working with Bea on picking up by old slight of hand and lockpicking skills . . . 

BT: And then laughing as your lover fails to pick locks you could open with ease!

13. Ever hurt someone before?

*both start laughing*

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

BT: *still giggling* w. . wait. . . are you seriously asking that?

NS: *smirking and shaking her head* I’m the Warden Commander of Ferelden, and she’s my spymaster in Amarathine. . . what do you think? 

15. What kind of animal are you?

BT: *laughter cuts off abruptly* . . . beggin’ yer pardon; wot? 

NS: *snorts* The dangerous kind.

16. Name one of your worst habits.

BT: She has a tendency to be rude and grouchy. Also, she’s a slob. And she forget’s to eat or sleep! Swear I’m more of a caretaker than a spymaster! 

NS: She’s an obnoxious busybody. Probably why she makes such a good spymaster AND caretaker. Guess I’ll keep her around. 

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

BT: *points at Nehnara*

NS: *smacks her hand away* Stop that! . . . I suppose we’ve both done relatively well for ourselves besides everything this Maker forsaken world has thrown at us. 

BT: Honestly - and I think we’d both say this - we’ve been lucky enough to have been raised by pretty fantastic people. They had their flaws, but, without them we wouldn’t be who we are today. All respect to Cyrion, Adaia, Misyl, and Phaelan! 

NS: . . . well said. 

18. Sexual orientation?

BT: *winks* All are welcome! . . . well were welcome - rather not piss off Leli! 

NS: Why are you so interested in absolutely ridiculous trivia? I’m more interested in the person’s character than what’s between their legs. 

BT: Yeah, but you seem pretty attached to what’s between Zevran’s-

NS: Indeed. 

19. Do you go to school?

NS: . . . I was educated in Kinloch Hold, if that’s what you mean. Though I gained more knowledge from personal study in the libraries than from my teachers. . . . though to be fair there were several competent instructors.

BT: My mum taught me before she was killed. 

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids someday?

BT: ooooh! Maybe Leli and I can take in some of the orphans in Amaranthine! Get a big ol’ house, piss-off the shem neighbors-

NS: Your lover is in fact Human as well.

BT: -get a few more dogs and nugs-

NS: The dogs will eat Leliana’s nugs. 

BT: - train them up a bit -

NS: Are you speaking of the dogs, the nugs, or the children?

BT: Be one, big, cozy family! Well loved and protected! 

NS: *snorts* It sounds rather noisy and messy. Terrifying. 

21. What are you most afraid of?

NS: The child, dog, and nug infested house that Bea is apparently planning on inhabiting. 

BT: You faced demons and darkspawn and all manner of nastiness, and you’re telling me your afraid of a lil’ noise and mess? 

NS: From children or animals that you raise? Yes. 

22. What do you usually wear?

BT: Well, I do like a lil’ bit of pretty or shiny here and there, but overall I dress for practicality. Mistress Fancy-mage over here is the one who has a penchant for dressin’ up! 

NS: I do like fine things. I admit it. 

23. Do you love someone?

NS: . . . Did we not already cover this question? I suppose it is possible to be in a relationship without love, but I do in fact care quite deeply for Zevran. It may have taken awhile to sort things between us, but there you are. 

BT: I think you’re gettin’ better at this speakin’ on emotions thing.

NS: Shut it.

BT: I love my Leli very much! *side-hugs Nehnara* and I love this grump like the sister I never had! 

NS: *blushes* ugh. Yes, yes, I care for you too.

BT: Me, her, and Shianni use to create all sorts of mischief! Drove Soris right up the wall!

24. What class are you?

NS: . . . class? As in . . . what sort of mage I am? I’ll admit I’ve dabbled in different fields quite a bit, but I’m particularly skilled at Spirit and Entropy. I’ve also studied the ancient skills of an Arcane Warrior. 

BT: And she can turn into a spider! 

NS: *sighs* Yes. I also picked up some shape-shifting my Morrigan. 

BT: I never did get to really meet that bird. . . heh, bird. Leli’s been trying to teach me some bard skills!

25. How many friends do you have?

BT: Surprisingly lots! Nara tries to be anti-social, but somehow she just attracts them like flies! Guess what they say about vinegar and honey just ain’t true. 

NS: . . . I think you’re definition of “friend” may be off. Someone who you are acquainted with who hasn’t yet tried to kill you is not automatically a “friend”. 

BT: Of course not! You’ve got a very close friend who HAS tried to kill you after all! 

NS: Ugh. Besides we have plenty more enemies.

BT: Keeps things interesting!

26. Thoughts on pie?

BT: Berry filled pies are a bit of a weakness of mine! But Nara here-

NS: Please don’t start.

BT: Nara can put some pies AWAY. Sweet pies, savory pies, pies she just filched from the cart down the street! I grant you I don’t think she’s had to steal pies recently. . . 

NS: No. I haven’t. 

BT: It’s funny, for someone who can forget to eat AT mealtime, you sure do love your food! 

NS: As with clothing and finery - I do enjoy the finer things when it comes to food and drink . . . I’m just not great at time management. 

27. Favorite drink?

NS: Honey wine.

BT: Any wine! 

28. What’s your favorite place?

NS: Not Kinloch Hold. 

BT: pffffft!

NS: . . . I haven’t felt particularly attached to any location in a long time. There are some places I’d like to visit though. 

BT: Gettin’ your parent’s wanderlust are ya? 

29. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

NS: Lake. 

BT: Ha! Either! 

30. Are you interested in anyone?

NS: How many variations on this will you be asking? 

BT: This one does seem to becoming repetitive? Unless you mean like person of interest? Like under suspicion? There’s a list somewhere . .  . 

31. What’s your bra size?

BT: My what size? 

NS: Bra? . . . . Please ask sensical questions or let’s end this. 

32. Well, what’s your type?

NS: Oh for the love of . . . ! 

BT: Bwhahahahaha! 

33. And what attracts you?

BT: *still laughing* You are really curious, aren’t you? 

NS: *sighs* . . . Fine. Cleverness. Thoughtfulness. Adaptability. Flexibility. 

BT: *smirks* Flexiblity you say?

NS: Shut. It. 

BT: Hahaha! Someone I can have fun with is attractive to me. Someone who is caring as well. 

34. Any fetishes?

NS:Why do I even bother? How is this any of your business? 

BT: Ooooh! Well, Leli and I were just discussing this thing they apparently do in Orlai-

NS: Please don’t. 

BT: And I had a friend who worked at the Pearl who taught me how t-

NS: This is really more than I want to know. Does Cyrion know you were being taught skills from the Pearl? 

BT: Don’t see how that’s Da’s business! 

NS: *rolls eyes* Yes. I have fetishes. I have a very satisfactory sex life. I don’t see how it’s pertinent to this interview however. 

BT: You don’t want to tell us more about Zev’s flexibility?

NS: No. I don’t. 

BT: Hah! As for me, I’ll try almost anything once! Have a hard-limit on physical bondage though . . . 

35. Top or bottom? Dominant or submissive?

BT: *winks* I’m a switch. 

NS: I am not by nature a particularly submissive individual. That holds true in all aspects of my life. 

36. Camping indoor or outdoors?

NS: I believe that I’ve done enough outdoors camping to last a life time. Unfortunately I doubt it will end anytime soon.

BT: Both can be lots of fun in the right company! 

37. Are you wanting the quiz to end?

NS: Quite. If you will excuse us we’re both quite busy individuals. 

BT: *with a final wink and smirk* Catch you later! Don’t do anything that’ll have to knife you for! 

I’m not sure who has done this already, but I’ll tag @thema-sal-shiral, @wardsarefunctioning, @extravagantlies, @fadedforyou, @thranduilsausage, @elfsplaining, @circadian-rhythm, and @love-in-nature. If you’re already done this or don’t have the time feel free to skip! :)