#// a month (ish) left!
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inspired by a scene from 9 1/2 days by @magpiefngrl
‘Harry?’ Urgent, clipped vowels, insistent at his ear. A cool hand shook Harry's shoulder, hot breath played on his cheek, and the smell of lavender tickled his nose. Without thinking, Harry raised his head and pressed his face at the source of the lavender smell, inhaling deeply. Dawn’s fabric softener brought him slowly back to himself. He opened his eyes to see he had his nose buried in Draco’s shoulder.
#this is my fav fic currently#i left an embarrassingly long comment on it and haven't stopped thinking about it for months#drarry#drarry fanart#hpdm#9 1/2 days#doodle#i didn't draw the scene very accurately... harry's supposed to be kinda sitting ish on the bed? and their shirts are definitely more fun#just wanted to capture the mood :)
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going through my drafts for new years, here's a compilation of tristamp sillies that I never got around to finishing/posting
#trigun#trigun fanart#vash#wolfwood#meryl#trigun stampede#tristamp#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#meryl stryfe#vash trigun#wolfwood trigun#meryl trigun#vashwood#fanart#meme redraw#doodles#digital art#pen and ink#cnp art#ids in alt#I do have a few more trigun arts left in the vault but I hope to actually finish those so for now: this<3#theres like 11 different styles going on here but they're all from a 3-ish month period. artiste moment👍#but anyways back to regularly scheduled danmei/furry posting soon I promise#art dump
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Mina in May: I can't wait to join you at the seaside for a relaxing summer vacation, Lucy!
Whitby, day 1: Lucy is lovely, the town is beautiful, lots of spooky stories to enjoy...
Whitby, day 3: Jonathan is MIA and Lucy is sleepwalking. But surely it will all be fine soon enough!
Whitby, day 4: No fiances to be had for either of us. Lucy's sleepwalking is keeping me up all night. It's hot, and I'm tired, and I'm worried. At least Lucy looks healthy for now, but where is my Jonathan?
#dracula daily#mina murray#that went downhill quickly#poor mina#if jonathan left a month ago-ish then he should be home by now/soon unless something has gone wrong#and if something went wrong he would have written unless something went REALLY wrong#and it sounds like lucy has had prior health issues that mina is on the lookout for. or at least about the lack of good sleep telling on he
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do you make enough money from selling prints in etsy to sustain your life? how are you able to afford this beautiful house and time to crochet and go on walks and all of that? i’m not asking for nosiness but because i’m trying to figure out what i would need to do in order to make my life financially sustainable… is art an option… etc
short answer i mooch off my bf <333333333333333
#long answer part 1: i make enough off my etsy to afford my stuff (and i really don't buy much) and help out w th food bills where i can etc#i hvnt been able to do much of that OR save anything for the past couple months bc i hvnt been selling much BUT . things are beginning#to pick up again and i hve new stock to add when i get back from holidays :3#i have a smallish job lined up from my agent which is exciting! but hopefully i will make enough w her doing picture books etc to be able#to pay my keep / save more etc! i hve been anxious abt money this past months but thats just more so money for me to spend on small stuff :#i also dont drive so . i dont rlly hve many outwards expenses . im very lucky to have him hes very kind and lovely !!#if i wasnt w him and he didnt hve a house i would still b living w my mama which i did since i left uni!#long answer part 2: i always make time for goofing off during my work day. always!!!#part of the joys of being a freelancer! i can do what i want!!#i can share my routine in more detail if u guys want but i dont start work until abt 2pm-ish most days bc i dont rlly work well in the#mornings. when i hve more work that might change!! i have enough on to keep me busy but im not rlly hvin 2 manage my time u kno#im very very lucky to be in such a comfortable position :3 i hope one day u can be as comfy !!#oh also. i think once the agency work kicks in i will b fine financially ! and also u can absolutely make a living off etsy when its good#its very good for me ! i was very comfy financially around xmas last year i made a lot#u can do it u can do it !! art will always sell !!
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no thoughts, just lockwood still using his nickname for lucy even though she left the agency four months ago and hasn't talked to them since
#i nearly scream every time he calls her 'luce'#like she left FOUR MONTHS AGO and hes STILL calling her luce ?!?!!?!?#ok mr “i didnt come here to ask you to join us again”#anyways im only 100-ish pages in so no spoilers for tcs please 🙏🙏#the creeping shadow#lockwood and co#lockwood & co#l&co#lucy carlyle#anthony lockwood#lockwood and lucy#locklyle
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oh yall. OH YALL. i was listening to the do i wanna know hozier cover, as one does, and. and Y A L L. i just came up with a F A N T A S T I C fic idea — if i do say so myself 😌 — that's based on it. and i am... im kinda vibrating out of my skin about it, actually fhsjsjdjsk
#not to toot my own horn but. i was COOKING OKAY I WAS COOKING WITH G A S#i am. soooooooosososo tempted to like. actually try to write it too#bc like. oh man there is this One Scene in particular that i can just SEE soooo vividly like a film reel in my head#and ohhhh i KNOW i could crush that scene i KNOW i could#im so 👀👀👀#i opened a doc already fhskdkdks but aaaahhhhhh#its kind of a long(ish)fic idea and i would ideally want to put it out before the hiatus is over.#which doesnt leave me with TOO much time left#but also. i could do it in a month. i could. probably.#the spark is lit so like. i COULD#as long as i dont let myself get daunted by the longfic of it all 😂#ANYWAYS IM RAMBLING#but yeah. YEAHHHH.#i kinda wanna put the idea out there but also that would be. a VERY long post i think 😂😂#((oh and like. in case it wasnt obvious by my current interests it IS a buddie fic lmfao))
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It's been more than 20 years and for some reason I feel that Gosho hasn't given Kaiao any development, how can more than 20 years pass and Aoko dynamics, relationship and feelings remain the same? At this point I feel like Gosho is just going to make them date because "they already liked each other" they remain in the same status quo
Hey, if we go by DC romance progress, they've been going too fast. We've already had suspicion of identity chapters, and that didn't happen until more than 400 chapters in DC. /j
Since heists have taken over any character development recently, I don't even know if Kaito and Aoko will even get any romantic progress. Maybe the actual identity confrontation will happen down the line, since that's thief drama, but atm, it really wouldn't surprise me if they only ask each other on a real date at the very end of the manga.
Like. I'm sure Gosho would love to make MK a love drama as well, but he writes MK so rarely, and usually as hype for something Kid related in other media. So the MK stories tend to be heavy on drama that can only take place at Kid heists. (To the point that the new chapters just. Use Kid as the plot device to show off a new character. Even Hakuba's never gotten so much 'look at this character being a detective' treatment in MK.)
-sighs- I just feel bad for MK as a series at this point. I like the characters, I like the general story idea, but. It's been going down a very steep hill with Gosho wanting things exciting, but not wanting any real progress in. Anything. But unlike old MK, the new stories aren't even nice standalone setpieces of story, they're... mundane. They could be high stakes, if you purely look at the scenarios on paper, but. We all know nothing's gonna happen to Kid. Nothing even happens to him when the actual bad guys show up, much less one-time antagonists.
We need actual character focus and development, not heist drama. Badly. Not even romance, though that'd be a nice change. Just any character expansion of our limited cast of characters. Gosho wants big, all the time, meaningless big stuff, when small would be so nice.
#And also he probably won't care to expand on KaiAo when he knows it's already canon#Like; not in the same way that ShinRan is canon endgame and he just needed to write it out#But in a 'I said these two were dating in another manga; they will exist even if I haven't written it'#And his story atm does feel like it could be left off with an ambiguous note on if they're together or not#And then just leave them dating in Yaiba for people who care about confirmation#MK is not in a stable enough state; I really don't know what he's planning with anything#And it's been so. -gestures to all the 'meaningless big stuff'- lately#I don't know if it'll ever get any shift in focus in the future#We barely get anything; all we have now is a new character people are divided about#And the tiniest continuity of Aoko thinking to herself that Kid is teasing her by reminding her of Kaito#Like; part of the problem is continuity as well; at least if Gosho wants to stick with DC-ish MK#MK has all the potential for callbacks or returning characters that could be interesting#But none of the potential that fans enjoy is ever /used/#We got all our KaiAo up front. We have suspicion arcs where it's barely mentioned that Kaito's proven his innocence in the past#They could go back to the amusement park and Aoko could mention the movie and Kaito can be sweating#Because he never saw the movie; that's then he peaced out to go heisting#There's so much. Gosho's good at adding potential to his story#But everything he comes up with to make canon ends up disappointing because he never fully uses any of it#He just adds more and more elements that go nowhere#MK is a mess that gets more and more fun to play around in; but the actual chapters are. Bad#Which might be for a reason similar to DC of we wait so long and get something extremely meh#Except instead of the months between DC cases; it's years for MK; and DC fans complain the entire time#So when MK fans are fed crumbs of... anything. It's just not as enjoyable as new content should be#(I got rambly in tags; sorry ;._. )
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Don't get me wrong I love season 2 of PD but this TRAINING ARC IS KILLING MEEE
I WANT THE GRAYSCALE ARC AND I MISS MY OLD MAN YAOI
#i have like two ish episodes left of this arc but it took me like a month and a half to get to this point#jrwi#jrwi prime defenders
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miserable injury update:
#poor mr sportsthoughts has chipped a considerable chunk off of the top bone in his foot. looking like a long-ish recovery#and definitely means he can't finish his current contract and instead needs to go and sit in rehab for 6 months. which. i mean at least#in his line of work that's something he's sent to do and gets paid for etc.#but it's beyond shitty because we thought we only had 5 more months left of him being away all the time and now it looks closer to a year#at the least. ugh he is in so much pain and it's not even something surgery can fix and he's going to be absolutely insufferable#because he is not someone who cannot be running around exercising every minute of every day and he already has cabin fever#womp womp i just feel so sorry for myself and him#i genuinely felt like i was crawling to the end of the contract and barely surviving and the thought of this being extended is so bad
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Another fic?? You bet! I almost finished this about 4 weeks ago, when I got sidetracked by the Dorothy gets dipped fic, so I finally managed to add the finishing touches here :) it's been in the works for about 3 months (off and on; many different projects got in the way) so I'm happy to finally be able to say it's done! (after that final edit at 3 am I posted about last night lol)
Summary
When Blanche announces that she thinks she's pregnant, each of the girls deals with it in her own way. (They find each other in Rose's bedroom in the end, for one reason or another.) // an exploration of S02E01: end of the curse, and what happens in between
#started this the same day i got the news that my friend became a grandma & i was having Feelings about babies <3#it kind of got out of hand after that haha but it was initially supposed to just be a sweet little scene between rose & dorothy!#(but a couple of months passed and of course that means it kept expanding until. uh. i was left with whatever this is)#it could've probably used another final editing round that wasn't at 3 am but hey! it feels okay so i'm putting it out there#i put enough time into it as it is lol#at some point i just get an itch and i *have to* put it out there you know??#like there's some sort of urgency all of a sudden#it's been sitting in my drafts for nearly 3 months but waiting one more day now??? impossible#the words yearn for freedom#(or i yearn for freedom from the words)#(that being said i was actually going to wait & post this tomorrow but i accidentally hit 'post' instead of 'save draft' in ao3 sjkfd)#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#rose nylund#dorothy zbornak#sophia petrillo#golden wives#(ish? you could go for either platonic or romantic with this tbh)#my writing
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in other positive news guys. I cut my hair again 😇
here's a little peeky at it
#delete later#yapping#left is obv before right is after.#its been 2-ish? months since i last cut it. its grown out soo much 😭😭#i like to aim for a mullet even tho it never ends up looking like one LMFAO#started out the haircut telling myself to trust the process and im kinda glad i did. it looks pretty okay ish.#i def think it needs to grow out tho. maybe ill tweak it tmmrw???? idk i have to go to an event on sunday so maybe not SJJDSN#...realizing what im doing after writing that last txt post. went from sad to happy/humorous in a matter of seconds. i feel sick. unhappy :)#< sorry sdjnsjd
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Monday blues are hitting me hard today
#you can ignore this if you want cause im gonna talk a lot of shit and sads and feelings#but as i’ve realised i literally have no one to empty my heart out to irl#and it’s fucking heartbreaking cause i love my friends but I don’t think they love me back#which is an insane though but I genuinely think it’s true like#i moved away 4 ish months ago and i know that communication comes from both side but like i wanted to test smt#so i stopped texting first and guess what?? only 2 friends texted me#1 because she’s genuinely a good friend i think and the other because she needed money (which i gave her like a fucking fool)#my heart just hurts cause i realised i’m not as important to them as they are to me and I’m completely misreading our relationship and#it sucks because I thought they were going to be my friends for life but now they’re all posting recaps of 2023 and im in none of their pics#even in pics where i was present at the time#and i dont know if it’s intentional or if im just being an insecure little bitch but it fucking hurts#i just want to be important to someone#i want to be someone’s person#not a last resort like#they keep doing stuff together which i get like life moves on and i’m the one that left#but not a single text or a pic or a ‘we miss you!’#not even a fucking heart on insta stories#am i being desperate?? or do I actually have shitty friends#like i have impostor syndrome in my own fucking friendgroup???#I can’t just drop them either cause then I’ll actually have no one#idk i must exude some sort of energy#i dont think ive ever had a genuine good best friend like for some reason they leave after 3 years#(and this is why i have trust issues and attachment disorders)#anyway I’ll probably just suck it up and go about my day#ive lived 24 years like this what’s an entire life#it’s wild cause i have a good time whenever i’m with them (i think) and then i leave and it’s crickets#i feel like hired entertainment sometimes#idk my head hurts so I’m probably overthinking but like these feelings come from somewhere right?#i have to stop
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good morning!! <333
#sunday again so breakfast time :D#also i have the epilogue fic and that's it left#the epilogue (specifically cait's + vi's) is like three minutes so i'll have to add some stuff to it or it'll be really short lol#but then... i kinda want to write a proposal fic at least for cait + i (bc i think it would happen soon-ish after everything settles down)#can you believe this? like three days away from two months with them and i wanna write a proposal already#anyways today should be pretty chill actually#it is sunday after all - i'll write that last fic and then just find ways to entertain myself#anyways~ i hope today/tonight is good to you!! <3333#morning rambles
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every night im like this is it this is the night i relapse because i Cannot Stand It Anymore and then every night i end up not doing that. win i guess
#now this is hubris talking but i do think i could get drunk one specific night and then go another mon#wait no just stopped and thought about it for like 10 seconds. no i could not go another month.#not having Any Alcohol In The Apartment whatsoever (i have one night left) would make me nervous#and id go back to the liquor store the next day to rectify this#and if i went through the whole 2 hour arduous process of going to the liquor store#i would want some kind of Juice Reward for doing that#and then i get drunk 2 days in a row and at that point its like well i might as well go back at it#its not like with self harm where i went over a year not doing it and then fucked up One Day and then did not do it again for another#well its been 8 ish months i think? and i got rid of my self harm weapon of choice when i moved#so like. im pretty much Cured for that one and when i do fuck up it resetting the counter feels unfair#cuz like. it incorrectly reflects how long ive been in a state of Yeah I Don't Do That Anymore#not so for drinking. thats something im only managing to Not Do by a fucking thread#anyway. i should find an excuse to come over to my parents' house tonight#luke.txt#self harm mention#cutter gutter bitch dalinar says this#soberposting
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Selfie, baby
Why not~
Four days, four different looks✌🏻😗
#the top left is my current look; i just got home from a coffee date and a bunch of errands#not pictured are the battle jacket and black scarf i was wearing before this#uh top right is from a picnic/tea party at the lake a few months ago (before i chopped off my hair lol)#bottom left from my last trip to dc a year-ish ago? it was the day i hit up the national zoo & the weather#couldn't decide if it was rainy or sunny so I'm wandering about with my rainbow umbrella all day#bottom righr from halloween ish last year? was meeting up with a friend for ice cream sundaes and movie#anyway~#hello tis i#anon asks#may this satisfy your curiosity friend ♡#the picnic was technically a selfie; i had my phone on a tripod and timer. i used a pic i took that day to celebrate a work achievement ^_^#face reveal#my photos#shut up ace#also i couldn't decide which one i liked better so here we are ^_^;;;
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currently have a lot of feelings abt house’s relapse in s7,, may have to write it out at some point. he was clean two years at that point (it was either foreman or chase who gave this number). the way a lot of them reacted, they expected it—not surprised. like they expected his sobriety to fail.
yes, relapse is often a part of recovery. but it doesn’t always have to be. the fact that the most standout conversation about it was from wilson to cuddy is wild to me. i’m not a huddy hater—I feel they would’ve eventually broken up but stayed friends if it happened in earlier seasons, because cuddy does care for house. but in s7, she wanted him to be someone he wasn’t. wilson accepted him as who he was.
house literally internalizes all of his issues. he’s terrified when cuddy leaves him. especially when he keeps saying no, and asks cuddy “don't. please don't,”. (also shout out to hugh laurie for his incredible acting in that scene because I cry every time!) and then he ends up back on vicodin and tries to push everyone away again. but think about that guilt. he knew his addiction hurt the people he loved—that’s why he tried to hide it from cuddy. that’s why he begged her not to leave, that it was a one-time thing. he knows it impacts more than just him. so even if he’s back in those harmful habits? I assure you that he is being eaten alive by guilt.
two years clean. he would’ve had so many moments where he likely came close to relapsing, or, he just had intrusive thoughts about it. he pushed through. and then he relapsed, and his world collapses, and he can only blame himself. and he hates himself for it. if he felt confident in his growth for two years and then lost it all, he probably lost sight of any hope for true recovery. for real happiness. for having people by his side in support.
and, in a way, house cannot see the people who care because he’s blinded by his own emotion. wilson went to that hotel to check on him. wilson went to cuddy. wilson was angry on house’s behalf, because he knows how hard it is for house to have gotten through those two years, and to have lost it. he knows how much house likely hates himself for it, even if the guy is acting all snappish and nonchalant about it all. wilson understood.
I want to write out all of my thoughts on it but this is the very basics so rahhhhh take this for now. I dunno if any of it makes sense but <3
#lucas rants#house md#gregory house#james wilson#dr wilson#dr house#hilson#ish?#idk I feel very heavily for house when it comes to his addiction and mental health#it makes him a horrible person at times#and his actions can’t be excused just bc he’s battling an addiction#but god#he acts out over and over out of fear#and pushes and pushes because he wants people to leave for a reason that isn’t genuinely about his feelings#he’s an asshole so people hate him for that#but if cuddy left because of how house really felt#that would be a knife to the heart#I also just have a lot of thoughts on relapse and recovery#tmi ig but tomorrow (1/28/24) will be six months from when I graduated the program I was in#I was in a long-term residential treatment center/rehab for three months#so I feel very heavily for house and the feelings he may have surrounding relapse#and I know my sixth months tomorrow is not as long as two years but#i still get intrusive thoughts and the guilt tears me alive#because I’m supposed to be Better#and I feel like house would have that feeling too#if he relapsed after two years then maybe he feels he really is broken#he can’t be ‘fixed’#(wilson would remind him that’s stupid- people can’t be ‘fixed’)#house md season 7#sorry for brainrot
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