#not so for drinking. thats something im only managing to Not Do by a fucking thread

[isdalinarhot]

every night im like this is it this is the night i relapse because i Cannot Stand It Anymore and then every night i end up not doing that. win i guess

[paiges-1vur]

can you write about reader riding paige's face 🙈 only if you're comfortable with it 💞

all of you… as always, enjoy loves <3

uconn just celebrated their win against usc, leading them into the final four. the whole world was left in shock as uconn defied all the odds. you had met paige years ago, when she first came to uconn. you guys had met from mutual friends, but slowly grew closer, becoming fuck buddies. you had a no strings attached rule, but something about the way your heart stopped whenever paige called, said differently. you honestly didnt expect anything from her. you were at her beck and call, ready for whenever she needed you. it was coincidental that you both crossed paths that night..

somehow, you guys both ended up at teds, a few drinks in and ready to have fun. once she locked eyes with you she swiftly made her way over to you, smirking. she soon told her teammates she had to take you home, because you had “too much to drink” bullshit. as soon as you got in the uber she pounced on you, pulling you into a deep kiss. she lightly bit your lip, causing you to moan. she slipped her tongue into your mouth, exploring you while her hands traveled up your dress.

as soon as she led you into her hotel room, your arms were above your head, and your body pinned against the wall. paige moved to take off your shirt, breaking the kiss for a moment. “off.” she commanded, “arms up.” she pulled the shirt off, throwing it to the floor. her knee slipped in between your legs, as she applied pressure, leaning into you. you elicited a deep moan, making paige grin against you as she moved to kiss and leave love bites on your neck. “like that?” she asked teasingly, creating friction once again with her knee. you whined “please, paige now..”

“jump.” she grabbed you by the waist and you jumped into her arms as she carried you closer to the bed. “these, come off now.” she said, moving her fingers to unbutton your jean skirt. soon you were left in just your underwear and bra, as paige looked at you hungrily. “oh.. and these can come off too,” she said pulling your underwear down to your ankles in one swift move, making you flinch at the sudden movement. she grinned down at you “lucky me..” she moved to lie down on the bed, pulling you down with her. “i have you all to myself” you swung a leg across her abdomen, to straddle her. “what do you want me to do paige?” she smirks, playing with a strand of your hair, her other hand sitting comfortably on your hip. “i want to taste you baby, do you think you can help me?” you nod eagerly, your core aching for attention from the blonde. “whatever you want paige..” you breath. “good girl, thats what i thought. now, sit up and grab the headboard for me, okay darling?” you nod sitting up on your knees and grabbing the headboard as you feel paiges hands navigating your hips. she moves you so that your hovering over her face. you can feel her ragged breathing against your sensitive skin, giving you goosebumps. you let out a shakey exhale. “now,” paige starts, “sit down baby, i got you..” her hands push down on your hips, as her mouth attaches to your clit. you immediately roll your eyes at the sudden sensation. “p-paige oh my! yes!” she grins against you, her tongue working under you. her tongue darts in and out of your slick folds, lapping you up. your moans grow louder and more frequent as she continues to eat you out. “paige! i cant take it.. im going to cum” you manage to say, now riding her face gripping the headboard for support. her hands are back on your hips, guiding them to move against her mouth, as you ride her. “cum for me baby” she managed to let out, her voice husky and strained.

as you ride out your high you lean your forehead onto the headboard, taking dee breathes still coming down from the high. you slowly sit back down to straddle paiges abs, looking her in the eyes. her eyes arent her usual ocean blue, but now a dark and icy blue color. her mouth and chin are dripping with your juices as she brings her wrist to her face, to wipe it clean. “you did so good for me baby,” she says putting a kiss on your forehead gently. your still trying to form words, breathless from your release. “i, i think i need to lie down..” you say letting out a deep breath. paiges hands move to your waist, placing you to lie down on the bed next to her. you put your head on her chest slowly drifting off to sleep exhausted, but over the moon.

[smoshyourheadin]

Maybe u could do a Spencer besties to lovers? Like they've known each other a long time yk

Thankssss no pressure if ur busy ofc <3

It’s Always Been You

cw: reader has a boyf who she breaks up w bc he’s an alchaholic!! don’t read if you aren’t comfortable, i’ll catch you another time ml 💛

a/n: EEK IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT ANON 🫶🫶💛💛 also im taking this as smosh spence not cm spence so feel free to re-request if you’d like <33 ps, ive written that he listens to pink floyd here so thats who syd barrett is if you don’t know :))

requests r open!!

///

pairing: spencer agnew x fem!reader

florida, 2002

you and spencer were scurrying around in the freshly mown grass of his backyard, playing tag.

“you didn’t get me, you cheated!” you exclaim, ducking as he reaches out to get you again, tumbling to the floor.

“did too!” spencer retorts, his grazed knees dropping to the floor so he can lean over you. he meets your eyes, pulls a tongue, and hoists himself back up to run to his tyre swing.

all 11 years you’d known, you’d known them with spencer. your moms had been great friends since way before you were born, being in the same book club. or was it an art night? you didn’t exactly know, but you did know that because your moms were best friends, so were you and spencer.

as you sprung back up to your feet, your moms watched your antics through the kitchen window.

“whoever can swing the other the highest gets to have the last red popsicle!” he yelled as you ran over

“oh you’re so on!”

your hands gripped the tyre and you pushed like your life depended on it.

“y’know,” your mom said “one day, they’re going to end up together.”

his mom looked over at yours and smiled,

“i’d be surprised if they didnt honestly.”

los angeles, 2024

you walk through the door of your apartment, and you kick the door closed behind you. your bag slides off your shoulder, and you throw your keys onto the dresser next to the door. you only manage a long groan before flopping onto the couch.

“heya, charlie!” you scrunch your face up as you feel your dog’s cold, wet nose press against your cheek, as he gently wags his tail

“i missed you too boy, work was so tiring today.” you work at smosh with spencer, and have done for the past seven years after you left your job at another channel to join him. it was basically the best decision you’d ever made, every day filled with laughs; practically just a 24/7 hangout. you work with spencer on smosh games, but rarely ever go on camera, even if spencer’s there. you enjoy it anyway though.

you sit up and scratch behind his ears. he wiggles his body contently at your fondness. and then your stomach growls. it made sense, it was currently 6:43pm, and you last ate at noon, so you get up and drag yourself to make some mac n cheese.

as the pasta boils your phone starts ringing.

it’s james.

rubbing your hands over your face, you answer the dreaded call from your boyfriend james.

“heyyy~ sweetheart, y’doin okay? you were hic bein’ a bit of a bitch today, didnt answer my calls, what, you hate me or sumn?” he rambles, most of his words just slurring off.

“james, are you drinking again?” your voice is agitated, hearing the chattering and the low bass of a bar in the background.

you know he has a problem, and you’ve tried to get him to stop so many times. but you just can’t. he just won’t take your help.

“wha- i mean- well- no- but um- well y’r just gonna be mad at me like y’allways are” he stammers, not wanting to tell you the truth.

“no, i’m done with this. you say all this to me when you’re drunk, and then act like everything is fine! i’m sick of it! you spend so much time at the bar, and its the only place we ever go on dates, and i just end up babysitting you! so yeah i am mad! but for the last time! fuck you james.”

you hang up.

you start to tear up, the knot in your chest tight as your emotions come rushing to you, face heating up as tears begin to fall. the hissing of something behind you snaps you out of it.

“shit!” you rush over to to your stove, where the water from your pasta spills over the sides, the flames licking at the bottom of the pan.you take it off the heat and turn it off. it looks done anyway. you add some butter, and, of course, cheese. stirring gently, you sob.

james was so nice to you, always showering you with gifts and praise and love. but it was all for nothing. he just didn’t love you like he loved drinking in the end.

pouring the mac n cheese into a bowl, you call spencer.

“hey lemon! how’s my favourite person this fine evening?” you smile at the nickname.

florida, 2007

“spencer, you’re a boy. why are you so complicated? i mean, its just annoying!” you walk into his bedroom after his mom let you in, clearly pissed off. being 16 isn’t fun, especially when boys you like are rude to you.

“what did he do?” spencer doesn’t look up from his computer, just slightly turn his head.

“he said that i must eat lemons because of how bitter i am. i mean come on!” you lie on his bed and watch him play runescape.

“lemon… hmph” he just smiles and continues whatever he was doing on his game.

“what? nothing to say? ugh! you suuuuuck!”

los angeles, 2024

“yeah, i mean, no. i broke up with james.” you sniffle, and eat a forkfull of your food, elbows resting on the cold marble of the kitchen island.

“i mean- um- yeah thats horrible…” he says

“you’re allowed to celebrate, i know you hated him. and so did everyone. but still. im fragile right now!” you giggle through your gentle tears

“well, i mean, honestly? glad he’s gone. he sucked dude. not sure why you didn’t do it sooner. well, one positive to come of this, your pillows won’t stink of beer next time i nap at yours!” he replies, clearly happy for you.

“yeah,” you chuckle at the memory of spencer falling asleep on your bed, then completing his hair smelt like budweiser “that is true.”

“all seriousness though, are you okay?” his voice is genuine this time, filled with concern.

“no, not really. it’s just… different i guess. but, not much has changed y’know? like, it already felt like he wasn’t my boyfriend anymore…” you begin to ramble for at least 20 minutes, only to be met with the occasional ‘mhmn’ and ‘yeah’ from spencer. mid sentence, there’s a knock at your door.

“oh one sec, someone’s here.” you get up from your table and swing the door open to see a very sympathetic looking spencer, two target bags in his hands.

your jaw is on the floor. you were just crying to him over the phone, and he’d stayed whilst going out to get what you can only assume is things like sour patch kids and vanilla ice cream, which you could see at the top of the bag. your favourites.

“girls night?” he smirked and raised the bags at his sides.

all you can do is smile ear to ear, and wrap him in a tight hug. he leaned into you, basking in your sweet citrusy perfume.

“you’re my favourite, spencie.” you say into his shoulder.

as you both walk inside, charlie comes bounding over to spencer, his favourite person.

“who’s a good boy! charlie is!” spencer was now crouchedby your kitchen island, fussing over your dog as you walked to put on something more comfortable. you slid on some track pants and an old atari hoodie. walking back into your kitchen, spencer has unpacked the bags, and is creating his favourite conconction, The Agnew Sundae. basically the most sickeningly sweet ice cream ever. his dad made it for you both in the summer, and it consisted of:

vanilla ice cream

chocolate syrup

caramel sauce

whipped cream

sprinkles

mini marshmallows

chocolate chips

m&ms

and some crushed oreos to finish.

god, you know you’re going to regret this later, but boy was it a good way to cheer you up.

also strewn on the counter was his switch and copy of animal crossing, a few of his dvd’s for you to watch, and his mom’s chocolate chip cookies.

“spencer, how on earth did you get these? your mom lives across the country!” you hold up the baggie, and raise an eyebrow.

he looks up from his ice cream assembly station, and smirks.

“a magician never- ow!”

you cut him off by lightly jabbing his arm

“okay okay, she visited not to long ago - when she took you to the mall? and she gave me these to freeze and keep for an important event. i think she’d agree this is important.” you cant help but smile at his remark. you missed you moms.

“i’ll have to ring her later to thank her.” you say.

the night goes on, and you and spencer sit on the couch under a blanket watching barbie princess charm school. because what else are you going to watch?

as the movie goes on, and the effects of the agnew sundae kick in; you were dozing off on his shoulder. towards the end of the movie, so does he. he drifts off, comforted by your soft hair occasionally brushing against his face.

you stir awake, the sun beaming into your eyes through your semi-open blinds, and you’re hit by a wave of memory. everything that happened last night comes flooding back.

james’ call.

spencer’s call.

spencer showing up for you.

at the latter, you smile slightly. you prop yourself up on the sofa, and notice the absence of spencer’s warmth by you. frowning slightly, you walk into the kitchen.

“morning sleepyhead” his sweet voice rings through the room

“hey. i thought you’d’ve gone home”

“no, im not that mean! who do you take me for?” he retorts, his attention turning back to the pancakes on the stove.

“pancakes? what time is it?” you come up behind him, putting your chin on his shoulder.

“yeah, and it’s about 10:30.” he leant his head on yours, flipping one. you had to admit, they look pretty good.

“10:30!?” you lift you head in surprise, looking at your phone “shouldn’t we be in work?”

“nope, i called us in sick. said my mom was having surgery. which she is, but i made it sound dramatic so we could stay off.” he looks at you, and smiles slightly.

“well, send her my love! i think i’ll go get dressed now.” he hummed, and you left the room.

opening your closet, you pick out a yellow baggy t-shirt and some grey sweatpants. you pull on some fluffy socks, and slip on a zip up hoodie. walking back out into the living room, spencer walks in with two plates piled high with pancakes, drenched in syrup and strawberries

“so,” you say, a fork full of pancakes in your mouth. “whats the plan for today?”

he looks over at you, and shrugs slightly. “not sure, we could go to the book store you like?”

“ah, you know the way to a girl’s heart“ you put a hand over your chest and giggle a bit.

a few hours later, you walk into the store, door creaking just a bit as a small brass bell chimes overhead. the air is filled with a comforting mix of old paper, leather bindings, and a hint of freshly brewed coffee from the corner cafe that you and spencer like to get tea from. you breathe it in deeply, a sense of calm washing over you. as you walk over the creaky wooden floorboards beneath you, soft warm light filters down from antique lamps, and cast a gentle glow over the rows of books. you ghost your fingertips over the cloth spines while the quiet murmur of whispered conversations and the occasional rustling of pages create a soothing background noise, almost like a lullaby. through spencer’s airpods, syd barrett serenades you both, and his voice blends seamlessly with the ambiance of the store.

“anything good today lemon?” spencer says as he shimmies up next to you in the aisle of towering book shelves, his voice like honey rolling off his tongue. his hair was unruly as always, but he looked so pretty in this light. his face was littered with freckles that you wish you could kiss. he’s smiling at you, and it snaps you back to reality, and reminds you of the fact you’re staring at him

“uh, yeah, i think i’ll get this one” you smile back, holding up a copy of memoirs of a geisha by arthur golden

“cool, shayne likes that one i think. but he likes every book so…” he smiles at his own remark “um, you want me to grab our normal seats in the cafe while you pay for that?”

“yes, please!” you reply eagerly, smiling as he walked off.

you walk up to the cashier, an older lady who always gives you a bookmark.

“thank you m’darlin’, have a lovely day!”

“you too mrs bryson!” you reply, heading over to spencer who’s sat in some plush leather armchairs. as you sit in comfortable silence with him, time seems to slow down, and for a moment, it's just you, spencer, the books, and the comforting atmosphere of this charming bookstore.

“i got you your sweet tea.” he says, handing you a plastic cup filled with your favourite tea.

he remembered.

fuck.

you were in love with spencer agnew, and it took you him handing you your favourite tea to realise it.

“thanks spence.” you say, still grasping the feelings in your chest.

while you read you book and drink your tea, you feel your attention drifting to him. you can't help but glance up from the pages every now and then, watching him as he sits across from you, his focus on his own book. his fingers absently tracing the rim of his coffee mug, his brow furrowing as he reads. the way the sunlight filters through the small window, casting a warm glow across his hair, highlighting the subtle streaks of lighter brown among his dark curls. you find yourself smiling at the sight of him, wondering when these small, mundane moments began to mean so much to you. the bookstore is quiet, aside for the murmur of others reading or talking in hushed tones. yet, with spencer sitting just a few feet away, the world feels like it's faded to the background. it's just you and him, sharing this space, this moment. you watch the way his lips move slightly as he reads, how he occasionally tilts his head in concentration, and the way his eyes light up when he finds something particularly interesting. as he looks up and catches you watching him, you feel a rush of warmth spreading through your chest. he smiles at you, a slow, easy smile that makes your heart skip a beat. he raises an eyebrow, and you quickly look back down at your book, feeling your cheeks flush. but you can't help it; your gaze finds its way back to him, like he's the most interesting story in the room. he seems to notice the shift in the air between you. he closes his book and leans forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees.

“everything okay?” he asks, his voice gentle, his eyes filled with genuine curiosity.

“yeah,” you reply, trying to sound casual, though your heart is racing. “just... glad to be here with you.”

he nods, his smile growing a bit wider. “me too.”

as he settles back into his chair, you realize that this simple exchange has changed something. the air feels lighter, the connection between you stronger. you may have come here to read and relax, but now, sitting across from spencer, you know you've found something else entirely - something you never want to let go of.

as you leave the store, you’re panicking slightly as you realise you don’t know what to do. so instead you make up an excuse.

“i forgot my keys ," you blurt out, looking back at the bookstore. it's a thin excuse, but spencer doesn't seem to notice. he simply nods, a hint of concern in his eyes.

"do you want me to wait for you?" he asks, already reaching for his phone to check the time.

"no, it's fine," you reply quickly. "you can go ahead. i’ll just be a minute."

spencer seems reluctant to leave, but he nods, offering a warm smile before stepping out onto the street. you watch him walk away, his figure blending into the crowd as he heads toward the main crossing. your heart sinks a little as he disappears from view, and you take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing pulse.

the bookstore feels different now. the warm glow and soft murmurs are still there, but without spencer, it's like the color has faded a bit. you stand by the door, uncertain of what to do next. you could go back outside, catch up with him, and just say it. tell him how you feel. but the words seem stuck in your throat, and the thought of laying your feelings bare feels like too much, too soon.

you step back inside, pretending to look for something you might have left behind. the stacks of books seem to stretch endlessly in front of you, a maze of comforting distractions. you wander through the aisles, hoping to calm your racing thoughts, but all you can think about is spencer - his smile, the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, the warmth of his voice.

eventually, you find a quiet corner and sit down, closing your eyes for a moment. you know you have to do something. you can't just let him walk away without knowing how much he means to you. but the fear of rejection, of changing everything, feels overwhelming.

you realize you need time to sort through your feelings, to figure out the best way to approach this. with a heavy heart, you decide to make your way home, hoping the familiar surroundings will bring clarity. as you step out onto the street, the cool breeze brushes against your skin, and you take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging inside you.

on the journey home, you replay the moments with spencer in your mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of how much he means to you. you know you can't keep hiding your feelings, but you also know you need to approach this with caution. as you unlock the door to your apartment, you make a silent promise to yourself—to take the time you need, to listen to your heart, and to find the courage to follow where it leads, even if it means risking everything for him.

when you get home, spencer tries calling you as he paces around his bedroom, his phone pressed against his ear. the ringing continues, but there's no answer. he frowns, feeling an uneasy twist in his stomach. maybe you're still in the bookstore. maybe your phone is on silent, or maybe you're just busy. he tells himself there's a reasonable explanation, but the doubt lingers.

as he walks to his kitchen, he dials again. this time, the call goes straight to voicemail. his instincts tell him something isn't right. the keys excuse felt odd, and your hurried departure only amplifies his worry. he takes a moment to think, then leaves his apartment, jumps in his car, starts the engine, and drives toward your apartment.

the streets pass in a blur as he navigates through the evening traffic, his mind racing with possibilities. he finds a parking spot near your building and heads to your door. the hallway is quiet, save for the distant sound of a tv from a neighbouring apartment. he takes a deep breath and knocks.

nothing.

he knocks again, this time a little louder. the knot in his stomach tightens. what if something's wrong? what if he's too late? he knocks a third time, and this time, he hears a faint rustling from inside. the door opens slowly, and there you are, standing in the doorway with a look of surprise and confusion.

"spence?" you say, blinking at him as if he's the last person you expected to see.

"i - i was worried," he stammers, rubbing the back of his neck. "you didn't answer your phone, and i - i didn't know if you were okay."

you tilt your head, trying to process why he's here. his eyes search yours, and you can tell he's anxious, almost desperate to explain himself. "i'm fine," you say, "just had some stuff to think about."

he nods, but you can see he's not entirely convinced. there's something else, something deeper. he takes a step back, as if he's about to leave, but then he hesitates. "i - i have to tell you something," he blurts out, his words coming out in a rush. "i like you. like a lot. like i think i love you? and i know it might be weird, and i don't want to mess things up, but I just had to say it - because i couldn't keep it to myself anymore.”

he looks at you, his eyes full of emotions you can't quite decipher yet. you nod, urging him to continue, even though your own heart is racing. there's something in his gaze that makes you realize this isn't just any confession - this is something that's been building for a long time.

"i've liked you since we were kids," he says, almost breathlessly. "i mean, you were always the coolest person I knew. you didn't care what anyone else thought. you were smart and funny and just... so genuinely kind. i remember when we used to ride our bikes around the neighbourhood, and you'd always be the first one to try something new. like, remember when you climbed that huge tree in mr lawson's yard just because you wanted to see the view from the top? i thought you were so brave."

he chuckles softly, his gaze softening as he reminisces. "and then, when we got older, you were always there for me. when my parents split up, and i felt like everything was falling apart, you were the one who came over with a pizza and just listened. you didn't try to fix it; you just let me talk. that's something i've always loved about you. you're a great listener, and you care about people. like, really care."

he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes locking with yours. "it's not just that, though. It's the little things, too. the way you laugh at the dumbest of angela’s jokes, the way you get excited about your favorite books, and how you always know the right thing to say when I'm feeling down. you make everything feel... lighter, you know? like, even when things are tough, you find a way to make it better."

spencer pauses, his voice growing more earnest. "so yeah, i've um, been holding onto this for a while, and i just, couldn't keep pretending that i didn't feel this way. i like you - a lot. and i don't know if you feel the same way, but i just couldn't not tell you anymore."

he takes a step back, the tension in his shoulders indicating that he's prepared to leave if needed. "i don't want to make things weird between us. if you don't feel the same, that's okay. i just had to say it, because you're the best thing in my life, and i can't keep acting like you aren't."

his confession takes you by surprise, but as he speaks, you feel a surge of warmth in your chest. the words you were struggling to say are suddenly so clear, so obvious. you watch as he starts to turn away, his shoulders slumping in resignation. before he can take another step, you grab his arm and pull him back, your lips pressing against his in a gentle, yet desperate kiss.

he freezes for a moment, stunned by your sudden action, then his arms wrap around you, pulling you close. when you finally break the kiss, you look into his eyes, and there's no doubt, no hesitation.

"it's always been you," you whisper, your voice soft but sure. "you're my person, spencer."

he hugs you tightly, his grip firm and comforting, as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he lets go. you rest your head on his shoulder, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your cheek. it's a perfect moment, one that feels like the beginning of something new, something beautiful.

and as you stand there in each other's embrace, you know that everything's going to be okay, because you have each other. and that's all that matters.

[pumpkinsy0]

hcs for ponyboy getting pneumonia 🤩

cant wait for this fucker to die off already (i would b very sad if he did)

•ponys got pneumonia a couple of times before and after this poi t, once as a baby, twice as a teen, he WILL get it in the future, hes a sick guy what can we say

•part of the reason y everyone in the gang is so protective of pony is BC he was pretty sick as a baby, ponys had 2 near death experiences and THAT was one of em.

•imma b frank n tell yall that they havent rlly went to the hospital for it before, each time pony got it, it was mild and even then they didnt know it was pneumonia SPECIFICALLY, just that he was pretty sick

•when he “got it” after dallys death n such, what caused it was being in that church for so long w all the dust, mold, shitty air, etc etc. he had bacterial pneumonia and its not like it just POPPED up one day, he was sick and just ignored it w pills n such to keep on pushin.

•w this pneumonia however, it was just flat out thee worst hes ever had it and ever will have it, the other times were more manageable while this time, combined w pony being very hallucinative, they feared pony was gonna die and thats y soda stayed at ponys side, scared he was gonna go out alone

•they knew it wasnt no regular ass sickness when ponys lips and fingernails started lookin blueish, im not kidding they thought ole ponyfella was gonna have to b put DOWN

•smoking can make it rlly hard for u to rlly clear ur airways, so ik ponys coughs were WET, he could cough as hard as he wants, hes done for either way (if u wanna hc him w asthma as well, it sounded like he was genuinely struggling to breath, he was wheezing loud and couldnt take deep breaths, just drinking was hell for him

•the type of pneumonia pony got is contagious for like 48 hours, he absolutely got a few ppl sick as well, maybe not as bad, but it was still there for sure, soda most def got sick but he was just glad ponys doin better while pony felt bad

•darry stuck by pponys side but i love thinking he felt a lil guilty for what happened to pony so he can only do it for so long before feeling like shit, he does make his soup and gives pony a lot of orange juice so he still feels a lil helpful

•bc bacterial pneumonia has symptoms that rlly do require medical attention, when pony was able to gain so semblance of consciousness in between his bouts of confusion he would refuse to go. he doesnt like hospitals and mumbled about the social worker finding that put and taking him away but darry and soda for the first time in forever didnt gaf about that, just wanted pony alive damn it!!

•funnily enough as much as he fought against it, pony doesnt remember it, but instead they just called a doctor to come over and take a look at the guy. he probably just thinks of it as a delusion or something, but he didnt rlly care that much to ask, cause a week and a half later he was feelin better

now THANKFULLY i get ur other ask before i finished this one so heres that curly bit🙏🏽🙏🏽

•they didnt see each other for MONTHS after pony got sick bc curly still had the 6 months to serve, tim told curly what was happening w pony but he focused more so on the fact that his 2 friends instead if him being sick which honestly, yea i get.

•so pony being sick COMPLETELY skipped passed his mind he thought it was like a kinda bad cold, nothin BAD like pneumonia😭

•reason y curly was like “hmmmm somethings off w him,,,” is bc yes, once again his friends died not too long ago, but also the pneumonia lowkey fucked his mental up, someone save this kid😭😭

[obsidianpen]

ello ello ello

okay so bout the assassination theories in NG: it just feels right, you know? if feels like it NEEDS to a be a plot point at some point, although it might not be in the form of public hate and assassination attempts exactly, but rather harry getting hurt by someone/something else.

Examples that are running around in my head: 1- Assassination attempt: it would take a lot of building up to get there, since the public doesn't really hate harry per say, they are confused and wary right now but soon they are going to come to a decision, now what would that be? hmmmmm wherever it will be, its gonna take a loooooong time for the plot to get there(next year maybe XD)

I think Neville’s Funeral could open up a lot of possibilities for public interactions (even if its not allowed to be public, just his gradmother talking with harry might be a starting point for this huge ass snowball we have here; will she hate harry for what happend to Neville? will she thank him? how will she react aohgoahgiaheoighaoihgi)

also its the fact that its going to be quite difficult to manage that orrrrrrr very… very lucky…

2-Elixir overdose: this one I haven't seen mentioned anywhere else and Im starting to think if its just me whos over over analysing this but hear me out!

Vee didn’t exactly manage to get much details out Nicolas Flamel before he died and his wife is probably dead by now as well. I re-read this so many times but there are no mentions on how long will its effects last? I mean thats gotta be one reason why Vee has made it a point for harry to drink it everyday? (and not a small amount of it either) he doesn't know how one batch of it will last and isn’t willing to risk it. Vee only tested its healing limits on umbitch not how lond its half-life is…

and dont tell me it has a very long half-life, I refuse to believe that fucking pink toad is still immortal. just. NO.

Also I firmly believe that it has got to have some drawbacks, WHICH AGAIN WE DONT KNOW WHAT THEY WILL BE SO AHHHHHHHHHHHH

???- A mixture of the two above?who is browning the elixir?Is there a way for this information to get out and like imagin this scenario: they capture harry, try to kill him, can't so they torture him, meanwhile V is going mad and whezzing like an angry bee(feeling harrys pain though the bond), also is scared since WE DONT KNOW ELIXIRS HALF-LIFE???

3- The ordre of the headless chickens(lmao I love them): this honestly is the one I feel like will happen since it would make way for a lot of other plot points in the future and like with McGonagall joining us as a character very soon, its has to got to be at the very least mentioned.

any ideas? :) love u as always <3

I do have ideas! I’ll share none of them 😉

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Someone liked my post about how Amren should have to drink fae blood and since ive been on a pretty big vampire kick since about october of last year Im just thinking about what if acotar was about vampires. first of all, i think sjm writing vampires would make me very angry, i hear that the way she writes fae makes fae-fans really angry and I can definitely see why even though i dont know THAT much about fae, I just dont have a whole lot of personal investment in the accuracy and interestingness of fae lore, but I am highly invested in vampire lore it would make me pretty mad but I think itd be more fun for me to complain about, so what Im saying is sjm should totally write a book series about vampires

But anyway, lets get back to my initial thought of 'What if ACOTAR but vampires'. honestly, theres not much to get back to because Im basically just rotating some vague aesthetic bullshit in around in my mind. Oh, also I just had a thought, what if Feyre had to experience episode one of the hit-netflix miniseries Dracula (2020). I think she'd kill that old man if im honest. OH wait no, speaking of dracula series

Okay so, imagine this: at some unspecified point in the future, Feyre gets sick and tired of Prythian and leaves, I was gonna say Rhysand died before that but i dont wanna imply that she only left because he died and also I remembered that stupid death bargain existed. So she leaves and she actually goes back to the mortal realm, but she goes to the continent instead of returning to her home village, she wants a completely fresh start and shes like, pretending to be a human too, shes hiding her ears and glamouring herself and whatnot. With her shes brought some faerie lights as well as all of the stuff she needs to make a whole lot more of them, because shes gonna sell faerie lights as this groundbreaking alternative to more traditional light sources. So she rolls up to the scene, this hot mysterious foreign entrepeneur, shes enlisted that mercenary from all the way in the beginning of ACOTAR to help her in her endevour, and shes got all these suits who have a vested interest in maintaining a monopoly on light sources so theyre doing everything they can to prevent her from getting faerie lights of the ground, but Feyre simply keeps evading them. At some point she aquires a boytoy with whom she does not have any kind of sexual or romantic relationship with its exclusively professional and for the sake of her faerie light business, Feyre ends up seducing her boytoys fiancee and just absolutely destroys her marriage. Thats when those light source suits come back in, they have still been trying to bring Feyre down while shes been busy seducing but now theyre back at the foreground, and they approach the boygoy being like "hey, we heard that mysterious weirdo stole ya girl. Well, shes in danger of stealing our profits as well so how about you sabotage her and destroy her business and life" maybe they would mention something about her being a dangerous fae as well but idk, theyre like capitalists so Im not expecting them to care that much about the danger. But whatever, boytoy says "sure I'll do that" and he goes over to this big warehouse/factory type building where they make/store all the faerie lights. Feyre is about to give this big show where she properly shows the public how the faerie lights work and how you can replace normal lamps with them, this has been planned for months now and theyre storing all these lights in one place. So boytoy goes to where they store all the lights and he fucks with them a little, and then Feyre goes up on like a stage in front of am audience holding a faerie light and shes giving this presentation on how they work and whatnot, but as she goes on she notices that theres something very wrong and she realizes that all the faerie lights are about to EXPLODE OH NO so she tells everyone to run away, get out of town as quickly as possible, but its too late; she just barely manages to save her girlfriend/boytoys fiancee but everyone else dies in this massive explosion that just completely destroy a good chunk of the town. And then Feyre and her new gf have sex in the rubble, i think? Idk, and then after that they decide to travel a bit and live a quiet life and maybe try the whole entrepeneur thing somewhere far away from the town that feyre just exploded

and thats my pitch for an acotar au based on the hit tv show Dracula (2012)

[cupofbeesbackagain]

Introduction + My rules (4 myself lol)

Hey! I go by Bee on here. I use he/him prns. This is mostly just gonna be a vent blog centered on ed stuff but also a place for storing info + asking questions lol

Im 17, I had my old blog on here from when I was around 12-14 but then I tried to recover and really fucked everything up weight wise!! I went from 119 lbs to 230 in the span of about a year thinking that was 'recovery' (it was binge eating)

Ig Im back now though, not sure how long though since typically I relapse for like a week then recover but honestly I am so damn fat i think it's gonna last a lil longer this time + I've never actually made a new blog except for this time so

Stats:

Height: 5'3

Hw: 230

Lw: 115

My other stats are in my bio + will be posted weekly once november ends (not weighing this Nov which really sucks since I won't even know my relapse starting weight lol)

i want moots..... I beg....

Here are some pictures from my old blog + my new rules for myself just so yall know what you're getting into (I don't have DID there is just Something wrong with me idk what it is lmao)

thats your official warning, I don't post advice on getting worse i only reblog it. I do occasionally post m3an/sw33tspp but usually i tag that i do NOT want it to be reblogged because I do not want to be known for spreading it. I occasionally post harm reduction. I will mostly post vents that will probs make me sound crazy lmao

thanks <333

rules 4 me

~1500 cals or lower daily on school weeks

1-100 crunches daily (spin the wheel)

128 oz of water daily

cant eat till all your homework is done + checked for answers

Do a plank for as long as you can once a week

Take dog for a walk twice a week

Walk at least once a day (aim for 10000 steps, if you don't manage that then do the burn 1000 cals exercise thing)

Jog/run once a week

dont purge pls <333 and try not to drink caffiene

[cogbreath]

ngl even tho i had faith in both you and allah that whatever you had done would not be the end of you i WAS worried still so yeah like everyone else is saying i'm also rly glad that you're recovering. congrats on surviving life's bullshit yet again my friend. may the next one maybe be less painful tho bc that did/does not sound like a fun time

jazakallah khair ❤️

and i do wanna apologise for worrying you guys. we all do know that i didnt mean to but i do understand how even when we r aware of that, it can still hurt and be scary to see someone u care about end up in a situation like that and it can be confusing and frustrating cuz of the fact its so clearly not a good thing to do to oneself. but im rlly rlly thankful that despite all that you guys have it in your hearts to be so so gentle and kind to me which seriously means the world to me

im not entirely sure how bad my situation really was, because it's honestly difficult for me to remember how much i actually ended up drinking, my memory is rlly blurry about it but i do know that i did pass out for a while. i wasn't exactly worried at first that i felt that i needed to puke and legit was shocked when i started seeinf it turning red n shit. i wanfed to believe that somehow it was just something i ate that was also red but when i started tasting the taste of iron i Knew. because it seemed to be becoming more and more bloody i was like. "o fuck." i was still aware of ans believing in the resilience of the human body, reminding myself that people have literally survived getting hit with a particle beam in the head, but nonetheless it doesnt change the fact that vomiting blood is something associated with fatal outcomes. i guess honestly it really doesn't matter either way what the true severity of it was and i shouldn't trouble myself too much about trying to figure it out because no matter what, it was a dangerous and bad situation to be in. also im not detailing more now about what happened so as to be shocking or graphic but like i just want to be honest about it so i can help process it and help u guys have more clarity on what happened now that im not as delirious and panicked as i was when it all went down

i wasnt scared to die and honestly no matter what never will be because of the way my brain is wired about the concept of death, but what i was most scared of was that ppl i care about and that allah would be mad at me. so it helps a lot to have that affirmed that nobodys mad at me and nobody thinks that i'm stupid or had it coming

sorry if this is more than u expected as a response, but you guys are some of the only people i can feel comfortable being truly deeply honest with. i dont ever intend to trouble you with things that arent your job to manage and i dont intend to freak people out. but maybe thats not nice to assume thats what anyone is thinking. ily

[thetiredassistant]

[from @oriongarcia]

[ collar ] sender smooths out receiver's collar

prompts for comfortable intimacy

Jordyn did not expect to end up here, not in a place like this. Was it even possible? Never believed in things like that, even if he was a writer-- a shitty one at best. Was studying to be one, anyways. Thats why he was working for Orion. Jordyn was able to go to a good college, have his own apartment, and still have money to spend because shit his paychecks were well. All he had to do was be an errand boy for the boss' son. Which was not an easy task.

Which was why, only for a moment, Jordyn was a little relieved to be in this new world. Although yes, you had to play terrifying death games so you could keep surviving but.. it wasn't work. So Lose.. Win??

He shouldn't have celebrated, because once he found the beach, low and behold was his Boss. Okay yes. There was just a tiny little part of Jordyn that was thankful he was here. Orion was a sense of familiarity. He was in a foreign place, so of course something familiar was comfort to him. But then again, it was Orion. The rest of him was filled with dread because he knew that now he had to make sure neither of them died, because if they did manage to make it back home, he wouldn't have a job. Which meant bye bye college and beautiful apartment.

Trying to look on the brighter side, at least now he didn't have to juggle college, rent, and his job. Now, all he had to do was keep him and Orion alive! great! And do whatever he was asked. At least Jordyn had his coffee still, thank fuck.

This night though, Jordyn only had to worry about himself during the game. Clubs game, nothin to difficult. He was used to working with others, having to do so usually in class. Although he did get a little scuffed up. He was still in his outfit that he came here in. Tan button up shirt under a orange sleeveless sweatervest. Which now, it was tattered. Bummer. One of the nice things he owned from his own money.

Hearing his last name being called out, Jordyn already knew who it was. He looked up to see Orion half jogging up to him, drink in hand. "Wow, you look like shit." Was the first thing that he said to him, and Jordyn resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "I managed to beat the game, I didn't really care about how I looked during it." He said, and Orion snorts slightly. "You should. You're basically a apart of my image, You have to look good if im going to look good." He said, reaching out and fixing the collar of Jordyn's shirt, doing a little bit of good and smoothing it out.

Staring down at his boss in a little bit of surprise, this time he resisted the urge to call out the action. Instead he just sighed, "Alright I'll.. I'll keep that in mind. Looks before the lives of others, got it"

@oriongarcia

[moodr1ng]

re last post while im being chatty (sleeping pills do that to me): i have a kinda strange relationship w my knuckle tattoos. when i was 17 i was in a pretty rough spot in life. though i wasnt in The Absolute Worst Years, things werent going great on pretty much any front. i was failing out of school at the time, i saw no future for myself, i felt like i had fucked up all my options beyond any redemption. i lived in a "bad neighborhood", in a social housing apartment where i shared the one bedroom with my sister and my mom slept in the living room. i had like, two irl friends and one of those friendships was quite toxic and codependent. my mental health was abysmal and my parents were at the end of their rope with what to do with me. nobody even believed id manage to graduate high school anymore. i had no money except what i could glean from art commissions on tumblr and whatnot. i was perpetually broke and so were my friends (we shoplifted quite a bit at that time). i always knew my mom and i didnt exactly have much money but i was really feeling it then, and more than that, i felt like this prophecy was hanging over my head, that i would too end up like my parents: an underpaid worker in a shit job with seemingly no upsides or ways to move forward.

yet i had an inkling that one day i might get out of this; that i might one day escape this and 'rise above my station', 'make it' in some way. i pictured myself as someone who did make it: an older version of me, who i pictured very clean-cut and acceptable-looking, maybe wearing a suit or something. i hated that version of me; the sellout. i looked at that future me and thought: dont you dare forget about me. dont you dare forget about all of us here - not just my family but everyone i loved, and the people in the same neighborhoods and the same situation. i guess it was a moment of class awareness and solidarity. i thought: ill never let myself become a clean-cut, law-abiding, middle class sycophant who looks down on people like me.

so i got commission money for the cheapest tattoo machine i could get, some $50 crappy machine i got off ebay that came with needles and inks, and i sat at my kitchen table one afternoon with an internet friend on a skype call and tattooed my own knuckles - right hand tattooed with the left hand and all. i chose "DIRT POOR". i thought: there. not only can i see it, everyone can. i can rise up as much as i can in the world. but there will always be this neon sign on my hand that says: i came from here.

and i stuck with that for a very long time. i loved those tattoos. when i stopped loving them (because theyre kinda ugly, and i dont like explaining them to people, etc) i still loved the meaning behind them.

but then i actually 'made it'. i mean, not really. i didnt truly make it. i dont have a job, my main income is disability benefits, but im blessed that i also have my etsy shop and a roommate who helps with rent and a very cheap apartment, all of which means i have an income thats almost minimum wage and benefit from a lot of government aid, and through that ive set aside sizeable savings. i dont have to worry about paying for my food or home or clothes or other necessities, and i can go for drinks with friends or order takeout or buy myself little eccentricities just because i want to. i certainly didnt turn out clean-cut and proper in a suit, but i got to a place that 17 year old tattooing himself on a dirty kitchen table thought hed never get to.

and now that im here the tattoos feel.. silly. shameful. the people who ask me about them are most often panhandlers - and when i translate what it means to them i feel like such a poser. like, dirt poor? really? but im not dirt poor. im doing fine. if i dont get into the extensive backstory of the tattoos every time, i just.. look like someone trying to look rougher than i am. i feel like im appropriating a struggle that is no longer mine. and i dont even like the tattoos anymore and havent for a long time, and now the message itself doesnt feel worth having them.

like id forget where i come from if i didnt have it etched in my hands? like i even needed that reminder anyway? in the end, i got these because i didnt trust myself - because i thought my class solidarity was disingenuous, opportunistic, based only in my current circumstances. but ill never forget how i grew up. the message is already in me. i never needed a reminder. my past will always be a part of me.

so, anyway, ive been thinking of getting the tattoos lasered off. im far from being sure i wanna do it, though almost only because of the price, but ive been considering it often. i still feel a bit like its a betrayal of my 17 yo self. but then again, i think if he saw me now, 10 years older and in the position im in now, hed probably get it. hed see i havent really changed, not in the important ways. i think in the same way i need to forgive my past selves, maybe they too need to forgive me for moving on from them. so i really might get the laser, if not soon, then someday.

if i do, ill still have other hand and finger tattoos, so it wouldnt change much if i get new knuckle ones. if that does come to pass - im thinking "GOOD LUCK" this time.

[paiges-1vur]

welcome to the party… as always enjoy loves <3 (pt. 2/4)

Friday 9:32 pm

It’s not long before the door opens up revealing a smiling girl. This must be Azzi, Rileys friend.

“Hi ry!” the girl says in a high pitched voice, “I haven’t seen you in so long we need to catch up.”

I see Riley smile and give her a quick hug before introducing me. I flash a quick nervous smile and tell her it was nice to finally meet her.

As we walk inside we meet 3 other girls. Then it hits me. Fuck. How could i be so stupid? I forgot Azzi was on the women’s basketball team. I walk in and try to suppress my anxiety as i face her 3 teammates.

Right as soon as i look to Riley for some stability, i notice her and Azzi have gone off somewhere else, probably to catch up.

The three girls are all occupied on their own, but one of them comes up to me as soon as she sees im uncomfortable.

“Hi your Ana, Rileys friend right! My names Nika and its really nice to meet you.” How could i be scared of this girl who sounded so sweet? I decided to pull myself together and try to have fun tonight.

“Yeah, im her roommate, and its really nice to meet you too!” I reply with a smile as she sips on her drink.

“And may i just say damn girl! you look so hot tonight!” Nika hypes me up and i do a little 360 giggling. As im spinning i see one of the other girls in the corner of my eye. The only girl i knew here. Paige Bueckers. “You know what lets do shots!” Nika is obviously feeling the same energy i am and i love it.

She calls the other girls over and quickly introduces me to kk who i love just as much as Nika. Paige stays quiet and Nika doesn’t say anything about her. She pours 4 shots and i say “Fuck it. Pour me 2” I hope I dont learn to regret this because being 5”1 and 120 pounds doesnt mix well with taking shots.

We all knock them back and i reach for my second one taking it down as quick as the first before making a quick face.

I look up to my right and see Paige looking down at me. Her eyes scan up and down my body as she bites her lip. I blush and look away, and in the corner of my eye i can see her smirking.

Azzi and Riley come back into the kitchen and let us know its time to head out to the bars. We all pack into Azzi’s car which has just enough room to fit us all. As soon as we pull out Azzi says “Shit. Guys is it okay if we pick up my friend real quick she just needs a ride to the bar thats all.” We all nod in understanding because we don’t mind.

As soon as her friend walks out of her building Azzi says “Okay theres not enough room so Ana since your the smallest your going to have to sit on Paiges lap. Is that okay?”

My mouth goes dry. i somehow manage a “Yeah thats fine.” As i move over to Paiges side of the car and sit on her lap. I immediately feel her staring at me. I turn my head to look at her, and her pupils are dilated and her eyes an icy blue. I feel her staring at my top again and this time i decide to be bold.

“You like what you see?” I whispered looking at her through my eyelashes and twirling my hair in my finger, biting my lip ever so slightly.

I can see her demeanor instantly change. She grins and comes down to my ear “I would like to see what you look like under it more.” I gulp and turn my head to the window trying to hide how wet that just made me.

I cant help from getting uncomfortable on Paiges lap in my mini skirt and have to keep moving my position on her lap. All of a sudden i feel two big hands on my hips. I look up at her as she licks her lips.

“Don’t start something you cant finish.” This immediately stops me from moving until the rest of the car ride, but Paiges hands linger on my hips for the rest of the ride.

————————

We all walk into the bar quickly flashing the bouncer our ids. Nika told me that tonight was going to be really fun especially because Paige knows the owner of the bar so we can do basically whatever we want.

We all sit down at a table and Im already feeling tipsy (but thats also coming from the girl who blacked out after 5 shots once..) “Who wants to get more shots!” I half scream at the girls smiling ear to ear.

They all laugh as Paige gets up and goes to the bar to order us two rounds. We are celebrating tonight. Once she got back we immediately downed the next two rounds and i decided i wanted to dance. I grabbed Nika by the hand laughing and dragged her to the dance floor.

She was surprisingly a good dancer and we danced with each other to the music that was blasting from the speakers. I started to grind on Nika as she hyped me up. I had my back faced to her as i moved up and down her body before turning around and putting my hands on her chest laughing because people had started to cheer us on.

I look over and see Paige staring at me moving on Nika, her hold so tight on her drink it could shatter at any moment. She stares me down in jealousy, and shit was it hot.

As the night went on I talked to all the girls and they were all super nice and i wanted to get to know them.

We started talking about basketball and when i asked who’s the best everyone turned to Paige. She bragged about how good she was for about 10 minutes.

She flexed and looked at me, “These don’t just come in overnight.” Everyone at the table laughed. My jaw dropped and the Paige looked over at me and winked. I mean i knew she was jacked. She had toned arms, smooth abs, and a killer back. NOT that i had ever looked that up on youtube.

I decide to distract myself from the growing need to touch Paige.

“GUYS!” I say ten volumes louder than i should have, “Guys lets lets play truth or dare right now i want to play now.” Everybody laughs and agrees as we sip our drinks.

The game is going well until its Paiges turn to ask me.

“Ana truth or dare.” She says flashing me her signature smirk. I try not to melt under her gaze. I know shes looking at my tits, but i don’t care. I want her to.

“Dare.” I say drunkenly, ready for whatever shes about to throw my way.

She laughs, “Lets do body shots.”

“W-what” I mumble, my brain suddenly slowing everything down.

“You heard me.” She gets up from the table and walks over to the bar. I look around at the other girls at the table and they all are smiling and trying to hide their laughs. Im just about to ask what the fuck i got myself into but then i hear something coming from the speakers.

“No fucking way.” I say. Azzi is trying to hide her laughing under a napkin. Pony by Ginuine starts blasting in the bar as i see Paige whisper something into the bartenders ear with a grin on her face. The girls at the table are absolutely losing it. Suddenly the bartender speaks into a microphone.

“Everyone we have a little something special for you all tonight. We have my good friend Paige and her new friend Ana are going to do body shots so lets give them all a warm welcome!”

People are whistling and cheering, eating up this little act.

“Come on up Ana!” The bartender looks over to my table and waves me over to the bar. I get up from my seat slowly walking to the bar, as Paige offers me her hand to get on top of it. I look at her with a “what the fuck.” look and she only laughs in response.

I lie down on the bar feeling very underdressed. As the music plays I decide to let go and let myself be happy. I can’t live life always worrying about the what ifs right?

I let myself feel free and the music blasting in my ears makes me anticipate whats going to happen. The bartender pours the shot and puts it down next to my head. She then pours the line of salt across my chest, which I’m sure was per Paiges request.

“Here you go hun.” The bartender hands me the lime to put in my mouth as she flashes me a wink. “Everybody lets hear it one more time for Paige!” The crowd erupts people clapping, screaming, and whistling. I see Nika holding her phone up recording this all, but to be honest, i don’t fucking care. Im too drunk to worry about the little things.

As im ready for Paige to initiate it i see her move. She climbs up on the bar and straddles my stomach, playing into this little act. Everyone is screaming clearly eating it up. i look up at her trying not to moan at just the sight of her on top of me. Fuck i need some sort of friction.

She leans down and grabs both of my wrists, and i let her take full control. She pins them above my head and smiles before scanning over my upper body one more time and whistling to the crowd.

I close my eyes before hearing Paige by my ear whisper “Open your eyes baby. I want you to see my face when i do this to you” I flutter my big brown eyes open staring at her in awe. “Good girl.” she says before returning to the act.

She leans down putting her free hand on my upper stomach as she licks the line of salt from my exposed chest. My back arches in response to her tongue and shit it feels so good. She then grabs the shot and downs it before coming down to my face and gabbing the lime from my mouth.

Still straddling me she sits up and tilts her head back with the lime in her mouth. The bar is packed full of students all screaming and cheering. The girls over at our table are still recording and cheering for Paige and I.

Im so drunk at this point that im stumbling back to the booth, and im fully leaning on Paige in the corner of the booth, sort of behind me. The girls whistle and Nika tells me how sexy that was. I giggle and lean back into Paige more, sitting in between her legs. The girls start to talk about something else, probably basketball before i feel a big cold hand sneak up my skirt on the inside of my thigh.

——————————

[powderrblue]

mutual canonically-a-genloser tell me all of your randy delusions right now (threat)

ohhhh theres so fucking many this is gonna take me a bit IMMA START WITH AUS

i have multiple of the aforementioned universes in my brain and mostly the only differences between these aus are the amount of children that him and henrik adopted and took from showfall, and sometimes that changes up the timeline in which things happen

i don't have one where it's just sneeg and charlie throughout the entire story even though i Should and it is absolutely something to consider

there is one with rgb and in this one he marries henrik in showfall and charlie and sneeg are the only ones there for the wedding. (the wedding is to me a Canon Event. this is spiderman) now this one has two possible endings that i have considered. either A) randy (and potentially henrik) die hours later and randy later saves ranboo after the box when charlie and sneeg are trying to escape with them or B) randy is revived unbeknownst to charlie and sneeg but they don't find out until after they've been out of showfall for years and randy escapes and finds them

now i have another one where randy and henrik have all five kids (rgb, niki, and hetch) and it's the version of the wedding i described where hetch officiates it but it's not quite as central of a plot point in this one. randy still dies but is reset and hetch, charlie, and sneeg dont know. but in this one they all escape during the end of generation 1. all the show up to the box happens, and randy and henrik manage to save all five and just leave. this one is probably my favorite because of all the dynamics and it's so fun to think about. i could go on and on about how they would all be so fucked up but still so so codependent and despite hating each other sometimes they still care about each other because they're quite literally the only ones in the world who can understand each other and they are so aware of that it makes me crazy and also i just love love love randy being the best girl dad (<- this one is the Fucked Up Showfall version of the delulu cabin au)

okay so moving on from au paragraphs, one thing about randy and ranboo interactions. to me at first he is genuinely pissed at them even though he knows he shouldn't be because they were not in control when they killed his kids. but it's the days when charlie and sneeg hate him for letting them die and watching niki be the only one willing to comfort him is when he starts changing his mind. and then one night ranboo comes up and apologizes to randy for what happened in gen 1 because they know hes upset at them for it and thats when it hits randy like "oh yeah okay im actually Emotionally Attached to this kid now"

also on a more silly note. we've recently brought up henrik being a hairdresser. he probably knows how to do makeup and nails too. i will bet you he taught randy how to paint someone's nails really well and he would do it with niki and ranboo. sometimes charlie and sneeg would probably join in too i think. hetch Might. if there were black

also this has been bouncing around in my brain for a couple of days but sometimes i imagine what if randy could play like four songs on the guitar. he barely knows anything outside of these songs but if someone genuinely asks him to play for them he will. and just imagining these seven people who just escaped showfall and they're in a shitty rv and huddled together because the windows dont close and just. falling asleep to it. im insane sorry

also to me randy drinks insane amounts of coffee. like Insane. its probably the reason hes so anxious half the time (i am Choosing to ignore showfall)

[athene-studies]

k havin some trouble keeping out of The Ennui this past while and i realized i had 7 core values listed on my blog (listed on the little explore thing on my desktop theme as "live life on purpose • step off the path of least resistance • take care of myself • contribute to the community • get things done • always learn • appreciate beauty") sooo score thats a weekly challenge right there.

im just gonna start tomorrow (its the night of the 5th as i post this) since im lucky and my week isnt bounded by things like "weekdays". lets do them in order!

6. Tue - live life on purpose: to keep myself mindful I'm going to write down what I've done after every half hour of my day, plus im gonna plan out a couple things at certain points of the day and attempt to stick to those plans 7. Wed - dont get dragged back into my comfort zone: i do have a dentist appointment that day, but im going to also go to the library while im out, which ive been trying to do for a while but just never felt right. im going to wear a cute but maybe a bit weird outfit, and whenever i have an urge to do something (i should go read, i should cut up and eat an apple), im going to do it instead of succumbing to the Nah. ...also this isnt relevant to the daily challenge but i do need to pick up a prescription so im going to try to remember that 8. Thur - take care of myself: im going to try to do all of my self-care habits ive set up. most of them i do once in a while, but i havent managed to do all of them at once in a few weeks. so that means doing my workout, brushing my teeth, turning my phone off at 1 and reading instead for bedtime, making sure my laundry is put away... etc. this one's only a small part of the day but i guess that means its a good chance to rest lol 9. Fri - help others: its a terrible time of year to do things like volunteering, plus short notice, so im going to focus on chores around the house and donations and home political action, that sort of thing. maybe text my siblings to find out how theyre doing. 10. Sat - get shit done: i mean what else is there to say. at the beginning of my day im going to write down a list of things to get done (attempting to include things that are low on my priority list so just keep repeatedly getting pushed back, like calling my grandpa and working on a video edit) and see how much of it i can do. the slogan for the day is gonna be "if i think to myself 'yknow i could go do this thing' i fucking will" 11. Sun - learn: hopefully the rest of the week will have caught me up on my accounting course, but if not, id like to do that. after that, though, id like to set aside some time to read articles on things i care about but dont know much about, and do a lesson or two of language learning or coding or something. learning at my own pace isnt going very well so far considering "my own pace" is ✨stagnancy✨ 12. Mon - appreciate the world: not much else to note other than looking around myself more often. im pretty good at this one already. lets use it to mean "do hobbies"-- take an hour to do some writing, take an hour to do some music, drink a tea ive been keeping aside for a special occasion, idk

and i will let you know how that goes :)

[helptheheart]

What is up, my guy. 0-0 So... A little life update. I don't remember if I already said this or not, but you know how H stabbed someone? I found out why, ad it was just literally something dumb. Some guy tried to mug him and his sister, so he stabbed the guy; the guy didn't die or anything and I was told that the guy dying wasn't like H's end goal. Anyway enough about that deadbeat whore. and on to some other whores.

SO. Its coming up to christmans, and the yule has just passed. With Christmas being in like lietteraly 2 days as Im typung this out. Yesterday, the pub I work at, had a little staff party, where we just drank the open kegs and open bottles of wine, so none of it went off or went sour over the two weeks were away for the holidays. So during that I had a few pints of our cass ale bitter. It was okay, and like it says on the tin. Bitter. I will list the drinks I had at work now bc from then on I was just stealing other peoples drinks. So I had: -2 pintes bitter ale -1 half pint of rosé -1 half pine mimosa -1 half pint of a IPA -like a quarter (shared the half pinte with someone) of larger. -1 tequila shot. Thats what I drank at work-. At this point I was probably a little more than drunk, but I have been told I hold myself together pretty well while Im drunk. ANYWAY. So its all the staff in the pub after the days done talking drinking laughing having fun and all that good stuff. A director, of the pub stopps by to drink with us. And From what I saw he had like 1 pint, but he was tripping over his own breath so Im assuming he had something to drink somewhere else. Im standing there minding my own business, and he stands next to me, I say stands this man could not keep still, he was like ACC looking like some seaweed bc the way he was swaying. And he started talking to me, Youknow Im cool with that, I sort of know who this guy is, I know he's high up in this company that Im working for and stuff so I humore him. and then one of the waitresses asked him, if we could do shots, I jokingly said no, but he took it for some reason as like I acc didn't want to do them. so he made me give like a fucking PEEL REEL speech as to why I think we should have those shots. the whole time he was touching my ass..... I don't know if I've said how old I am, but I am 18. this man was alteast in his late 30 early 40s. Just gonna let that sink in, cause what the fuck

Anyway thank god for the people around me cause two people noticed. One of the managers, my female manager that I don't ACC like like put her arm around my shoulders and I was like are you hugging me? and she said yeah. I don't hug this woman, bc like I just don't like her, but Im seeing a new light bc I see now that she is if not anything but a girls girl. Cause she hugged me and took me away from that Mr director man, so hed stop touching me. and then he kinda followed me around the room. I went and stood next to one of the biggest guys there, like ACC big, he works out all the time, and he's tall. Told him, he said he saw and that he and my female manager talked about it and that's why she hugged me and pulled me away from that man. But this guy would fucking leave me alone. he just stood there staring at me like an intrusive thought, with not a singular thought behind his eyes cause all of the blood needed for him to form a singular thought was in his dick. Im not sure if I mentioned my little work crush on my little chef. Yeah, so I just stood around him, bc well 1 were the same age and id have more to talk about with him than I would some of the other people there. and 2 Mr ominous thought the pedo was lurking behind me. So. I told lil chef and he agreed to stay around me. Which we love. Soon enough litterly all of the male staff members knew, bc turns out me exectuve man touch every female person there. apart from one of the only two female chefs that was there. So we all end up leaving the pub and go to, this pub, club mash up ig. called Beef licker I think. On the way there, all the chefs were yelling. "Where's executive, pedo." and asking everyone "where the pedo is"

Acctually made me laugh. so I walk with my arm linked with my lil chef. were walking were talking were having fun. Little time skip were in the pub/club. there's loud music and were all dancing, Im dancing with lil chef. and you know, the Dj see's at least two people of colour fucking shit up and bussing it down on the dance floor, they throw in a few carabean and Spanish songs, which if you know anything about any music, know that these are the songs of my people, and my people are the masters of winning and dirty dancing. I am caibaian, and the other coloured person is a Spanish guy. so were there fucking shit up anyway in a circle of white boys doing white body dances. Eventualy I go outside for a smoke. Lil chef comes out too, and we uses u coat as a blanket cause is like an XXXL men's jacket off temu. So, we talk while were sitting on the floor out side the pub/club snuggling together for warmth under my jacket. Imma say this rn. and probably go on for another half hour bout it but JUST KNOW I GOT GAME. bc He kissed me, and we ended up making out for a little. A little context about my face. I have snake bites. and I wear horse shoe rings for the jewellery. so yeah. After a while some of our friends come out and I pull a way and UK try to make it look like he wasn't just devouring my face like he was trying to undo my peircings with his tongue. Eventually the friends go back in, and were alone again. I mumble something like, do you like my lips better with or without my pircings,,. so I turn them upsidown and we make out a little more, he said he likes it better with them and I tell him he's gotta turn them back up for me, he does. then out friends come back out, they go back in bal bal bal. same shit again and again for like maybe an hour. me and lil chef make out, our friends come out we stop they go in we keep going. Now I'm just say this. I got a cocktail from the place we were at, only because it came with a duck. like a little bath duck. I got the duck and Igot the drink. the drink it was okay 10/10 would drink again. but I ended up losing the duck asking for another one and then finding my first one. I put both of them in my bra. so this little adlib was nessaserry cause. lil chef squeezed my boob a little and it like sqweeked...

I then put my hand down my shirt and pull out two yellow rubber ducks from the depths of my barely there b cup tits. I gave him a duck. the other one went back into my bra. But you know he said something that I'm still thinking about. We made out then we stopped for a little bit and just kinda cuddled into each other. and he said. and I quote. "You know this cant go any where right?" and ofc I was like why? he said "Cause, I'm just a boy, and we lead girls on, and I don't want to lead you on. Im sorry." and ofc I was like well why are we making out them if you don't want to lead me on. and atp I'm like pretty sure this guy knows I have a little crush on him. and again he just apologised and said "Im just a boy, and I don't mean to do it"

eventualy i get over that, and were taking a little more, and so he's leaving Saturday just passed was his last day being someone I work with. We talk a little more, he asked me to be hims 'work girlfriend' I ask what does that entail and he said making out in the toilets after shift. I was like yeah okay, but I'm more of a work wife kinda gyal. he said I skipped a few steps but I was now his work wife. but I sednt him a text after I got home. and was like, why don't you stay at the pub, like I cant be a work wife if we don't work together, then I'm just wife. time skip I wake up the next morning. as hung over as it gets for me, which is I'm just tired and super dizzy and thirsty. so I drink some water and go back to sleep wake up still dizzy but not like a lot. still a little dizzy typing this. but its like half 8 now. at 5 he responded to my text and was like no<3 I'm not gonna do that sos.and then asked if I wanted to go over to his. Atp its five Im literally just laying in bed, its not that late, sure its darker than the devils prostate outside, but its still like an okay time for me to be out. I wait a little bit so I can eat dinner then I'm like oh by the way where the fuck do you live. and then he says his mum came home and now he has to go out with family. and he's done this twice now. like invited me over and the flaked. So idk if he just invites me over bc he has balls at the moment and them if I go yeah sure give me a little bit and then lmk where the fuck I'm supposed to rock up to, and then he flakes bc its getting a little too real? But like I said before Im asexual so its not like Im getting blue balled or anything like. If I were to be in a relationship with him, we would really only be doing this bc he wanted to, UK like ofc id say no if I just wasn't feeling it but like you know, like he'd be the one to initiate every time. I personally just want cuddles and to feel like someone ACC loves me and values me. some one that isn't my family. bc my friends have been kinda crummby lately and Ive done a lot of emotional baking. Ive made so many cookies and loafs of bread for the past two weeks

But yeah no. I just want to be cuddled and just one made to feel a little special to someone, that doesn't 'accidently' hit me in the hed with his bong multiple times. oH I almost forgot, back to the i got game part. I made of with a different guy I work with. in a photo booth. I told one guy I'm like besties with that I lips two people and told him who they were and he sent me a vn being like "Im super impressed like u lipsed two of the most attractive guys that work(/ed) with us like u got game." and I was like bbg ikrrrrrrrr. But anyway that's all from me for now. Happy yule tide, merry Christmas, happy hanica and an happy holidays and I hope everyone is blessed with health and prosperity for the rest ofwhat little we have of 2024 and has the best 2025 they possibly can. (xoxo gossip girl)

[togoldlilya]

Summer is hot you know

tw/ mentions of nausea and throwing up

the sun is beating down harshly as it reaches midday. "toge you're gonna overheat or something, please take off your sweater" sayaka begs, already regretting agreeing to go on a walk.

"okaka" he refuses immediately, sayaka huffing at his stubbornness.

"come on kiki, you're gonna get heat stroke... again!" she argues incredulously. he just shakes his head 'no' causing her to groan loudly at him. giving up the fight for now they continue to walk around the grounds. by the time they reach the other side of the school sayaka is sweating profusely. not stopping they automatically circle back to where they started, as they near the other side sayaka starts to feel nauseous and faint. as she stumbles and starts to fall, she curses toge in her mind for jinxing her. breathing heavily, her head starts to spin, black dots dancing in her vision. limbs feeling weak she's barely able to help as toge gently as possible brings her to sit in the shade of a tree. closing her eyes she struggles to hold her nausea at bay, breathing fast and harsh. she begins to feel a small cool breeze on her face as someone pulls her hair back, the loss of it making her feel significantly cooler.

"its okay saya just breathe, remember nice deep breathes, you're okay" sayaka would recognize yuujis voice anywhere. trying to nod, she attempts to take a deeper breath, forcing her to push down a wave of nausea. "good job, thats good saya" the encouragement makes her heart calm down a little allowing her to breathe a bit easier.

"mentaiko natto" the words are mumbled but no less effective, as the sound of his voice instinctually calms her down fully, the sick feeling fading away as the cool breeze begins to do its job.

"here saya, drink some water" peeling her eyes open she's met with the sight of yuuji kneeing in front of her, waving a fan, surprisingly steadily, and holding out a bottle of water. shakily grabbing the bottle she takes a sip, the cool water a saving grace on her parched throat.

"thanks yuu" she breathes out finally able to take a steady breath without wanting to throw up, and is rewarded with a bright smile from him. looking to the side she comes face to face with toge who is holding her hair back, a worried look on his face.

"natto, takana?" he brushes her bangs back as he askes, voice deep in concern. her eyes flutter shut at the action, continuing to take deep breathes as she nods to his question. at her reassurance he begins to giggle, it quickly turning into a fully bellied laugh. she cracks her eyes open to shoot a glare in his direction which only spurs on his laughter.

"and why are you laughing so much sushi?" she deadpans, holding back her own smile. he continues to laugh for a minute before getting ahold of himself and pulling out his phone.

im sorry natto, its just so fucking ironic that right after you nagged me about getting heat stroke again you immediately get it right after

reading what he typed out makes her unconsciously reach out to land a solid punch on his arm, which only accomplished getting him to bust out in laughter again, loosing the hold he had on his hair. "wow inumaki senpai ive never heard you laugh so hard before!" yuuji comments, mouth hanging open at the blatant display. after a few more minutes of laughter from toge they finally manage to get sayaka back to the school and into an air conditioned room. spreading out on the cool floor, she breathes a sigh of relief, eyes falling closed at the lovely feeling. right before she drifts off to sleep, exhausted from the whole ordeal, she feels a soothing hand on her back, courtesy of toge. feeling safe and blissfully cool, she drifts off into dreamland, ready to wake up and potentially be laughed at again at the irony of the situation.

[vaguelypleasantwombat]

info reblog for @am-i-the-asshole-official

okay i definitely left out waytoo much detail. thats my fault tho i shouldnta posted a rough draft i wrote while on the bus home from a 10 hr shift. i completely agree that i got wayyy off the original topic towards the end. also a weird amount of y'all are assuming like A LOT?? i mean fr do y'all's lil knees hurt from jumping to conclusions?

1. yeah, im being petty as all hell. but not for no reason?? like yeah i can be a dick, but never like just for shits and giggles, someone had to do something where I feel they deserved some wrath. also I WOULD NEVER EVER OUT SOMEONE NOT EVEN MY WORST ENEMY foh wit all that

2. i didnt know his name but he wasnt a complete stranger. and yes, i do know for a fact that he's a white cishet. 100% not queer and is in fact very queerphobic himself.

3. to those saying it was shitty to talk to him like he was "one of us" - omfg i literally talk like that to everyone!!! its just how i talk!!!!!!

4. damn y'all is hateful!! shoulda expected that it is tumblr 🤦🏽always assigning the worst possible intentions. but frfr some of y'all should try anger management/group therapy. im also f u k i n g dead at y'all callin me a bully, y'all sound like these butthurt old ass bigots from my post

aight here's the INFO:

so this guy, we'll call him Jared(40s-50s), was at the resort for close to 2 weeks total. i did what i did in the middle of his 2nd week. the entire first week he was there, he was learning to ski/snowboard. now i work primarily in the Learning Area (i run the conveyors and the gondola), so i saw A LOT of this piece o shit. not once did he, his friends, or his wife ever say or do anything remotely nice to me. i had bruises/cuts on my ankles to my shins from where he repeatedly smacked me with his equipment while getting off the conveyors. with how much he did it, and what he would say to me, it was on purpose. he'd said things like "pfft its [state] what do u expect 😒" when i politely corrected him on my gender, the first time. the next handful of times correcting him, he just ignored me and/or laughed in my face. refused to listen to me about the park rules, would only talk to my white cishet coworkers (YES IK FOR A FACT WHICH OF MY COWORKERS ARE QUEER, AND WHO'S NOT its a small fucking department), and would call me slurs under his breath when he thought i couldn't hear. well, i couldnt hear it, but ive lip read for over a decade, and i definitely know slurs when i read them, especially when theyre said wit such obviously venom. hes poured beer on my sleeves/gloved hands when it was in the negatives outside, because i was collecting his drink (ur not allowed to have alcohol or smoke in the gondola cabins). once, he finished a bar of weed chocolate (we're in a legal state), and then threw the trash on my feet when i asked him to hand it to me. his wife did that wit food wrappers, her half full coffee, and several hand warmers as well. the friends would also throw trash for me to pick up, but they had the decency to not do it directly in front of me. they all thought it was soooooo funny every time😮‍💨 and my job, we're fucking thee front line of customer service at our resort, so im not allowed to actually call this guy out OR really stand up for myself.

eventually id had enough!! id seen him, his friends, and his wife all call me slurs and make fun of my voice and how i acted (like, im a limp wristed, drag wearin ass twink. i have that stereotypical gay lisp, very pronounced too. they stayed makin fun of me all week) and they were being so so so racist (not giving examples on that😐).

the last straw came when he smacked me on the head & in the face (got a cut on my scalp) wit his equipment on the gondola earlier that day, after i told him to be careful cuz i was right there. so the next time i saw him, yeah i wanted to make him feel how he n his made me feel all fucking week. i saw him in his brand new ski suit for the 2nd day, and i just pounced. it was a gotcha type thing, like a "oh y'all're so hateful, treatin me like shit, but u still reppin my colors?" but i cant like actually be rude or shitty to guests so i had to be fake nice about it

and by "a week of hell" i mean he got verbally made fun of for like 3-4 days. and by made fun of, i mean whenever they all saw me they would (playfully, but rough cuz drunken) push him and go "oooooh look he's STILL wearing it😂" and "hahahhaha we should make him give YOU that suit" and, when the wife wasnt there, "lmao maybe he just wants to get with/has a crush you" so like. i was also still bein made fun of at the same time??? just felt better that he was also on my end of it for a while. like y'all he was more than rich enough to have bought a new suit directly after i said that (literally there was a store 500 yards from us), he was just bein a stubborn crotchety old man refusing to "give in to the woke agenda"

as for the "only assuming folks are queer", y'all do know worldwide society at large (specially here in amerikkka) will assume a person is Straight until proven otherwise right? and even then the proofs gotta be indisputable, and even then even then most times it'll still be ignored. so why is it so wrong that i do the opposite? hint: it's not. i dont need huge indisputable proof to believe someone is straight, im not gon ignore when someone says who they are, but im not one to go by the societal norms. to me, everyone is queer until stated otherwise. that guy who couldn't find his gf? was literally watching her live location for the like 3 minutes he and I were talking. its not like we were waiting on a search party or sum🤦🏽calm down. and ykw? the gf was so happy that i said "omg i LOVE y'all's matching bi pride suits🤗", she said they werent bi, but she picked them out cuz she loved the colors, we both agreed that it (the bi flag) looked like a beautiful sunset, like the one we were currently watching. we then gushed over how cute she looked in those colors, and she thanked me for teaching her something new. the only one upset was the bf - that I used they/them for his gf, and that i "insinuated" that he was gay. the "him" was an autocorrect i didnt notice, i only use they/them, or ey/em for folks idk the pronouns for.

nowhere did i insinuate either of these men were queer, i did not and do not out people, and the only reason these people felt "bullied" was because theyre queerphobic and didnt like that i didnt immediately assume they were cishet. so 🤷🏽 sucks to be a bigot tasting they own medicine ig?

the bi flag suit was the design of pic #1, the trans flag suit was the design from pic #2 except the bottom half was solid black

AITA for telling a guest his snowsuit was the trans pride flag?

okay so i work at a super popular ski resort in the midwest, and most of our clientele are white Straights. im like very obviously a tranny. there was one day that this guy came thru, his snow suit was black with the trans pride flag stripes all over it. he was sat in a gondola cabin with about 5 other men. he came by, and i was in a weird mood ig. i gushed over how "cute" his pride flag snow suit and "omg hun where can i get one🤗" and his friends just started going in on him. it was kinda gross to watch, but idk it felt satisfying? they continued to make fun of him relentlessly for the next 3 days, especially whenever they saw me "yooooo look he's still wearing it🤣how hilarious is that"

i know I just put that man thru about a week of hell, but it felt so perversely nice to get one over on a straight white man.

ive actually started doin in to everyone i see in pride flag colors (its a crazy high amount of people???), and like ill only "assume" that folks here are gay

ex: this guy lost his gf on the mountain, and he didnt say her gender so I was calling her "your partner", "oh I hope you can find them soon!", "omg i hope ur bf gets to you asap :(" and he seemed rather frustrated with me over that but like. fuck em?

so. am i the asshole for "assuming" everyone is queer even if its obvious they arent?

What are these acronyms?