#maybe i really should go for it.. after the summer has passed though

[moodr1ng]

re last post while im being chatty (sleeping pills do that to me): i have a kinda strange relationship w my knuckle tattoos. when i was 17 i was in a pretty rough spot in life. though i wasnt in The Absolute Worst Years, things werent going great on pretty much any front. i was failing out of school at the time, i saw no future for myself, i felt like i had fucked up all my options beyond any redemption. i lived in a "bad neighborhood", in a social housing apartment where i shared the one bedroom with my sister and my mom slept in the living room. i had like, two irl friends and one of those friendships was quite toxic and codependent. my mental health was abysmal and my parents were at the end of their rope with what to do with me. nobody even believed id manage to graduate high school anymore. i had no money except what i could glean from art commissions on tumblr and whatnot. i was perpetually broke and so were my friends (we shoplifted quite a bit at that time). i always knew my mom and i didnt exactly have much money but i was really feeling it then, and more than that, i felt like this prophecy was hanging over my head, that i would too end up like my parents: an underpaid worker in a shit job with seemingly no upsides or ways to move forward.

yet i had an inkling that one day i might get out of this; that i might one day escape this and 'rise above my station', 'make it' in some way. i pictured myself as someone who did make it: an older version of me, who i pictured very clean-cut and acceptable-looking, maybe wearing a suit or something. i hated that version of me; the sellout. i looked at that future me and thought: dont you dare forget about me. dont you dare forget about all of us here - not just my family but everyone i loved, and the people in the same neighborhoods and the same situation. i guess it was a moment of class awareness and solidarity. i thought: ill never let myself become a clean-cut, law-abiding, middle class sycophant who looks down on people like me.

so i got commission money for the cheapest tattoo machine i could get, some $50 crappy machine i got off ebay that came with needles and inks, and i sat at my kitchen table one afternoon with an internet friend on a skype call and tattooed my own knuckles - right hand tattooed with the left hand and all. i chose "DIRT POOR". i thought: there. not only can i see it, everyone can. i can rise up as much as i can in the world. but there will always be this neon sign on my hand that says: i came from here.

and i stuck with that for a very long time. i loved those tattoos. when i stopped loving them (because theyre kinda ugly, and i dont like explaining them to people, etc) i still loved the meaning behind them.

but then i actually 'made it'. i mean, not really. i didnt truly make it. i dont have a job, my main income is disability benefits, but im blessed that i also have my etsy shop and a roommate who helps with rent and a very cheap apartment, all of which means i have an income thats almost minimum wage and benefit from a lot of government aid, and through that ive set aside sizeable savings. i dont have to worry about paying for my food or home or clothes or other necessities, and i can go for drinks with friends or order takeout or buy myself little eccentricities just because i want to. i certainly didnt turn out clean-cut and proper in a suit, but i got to a place that 17 year old tattooing himself on a dirty kitchen table thought hed never get to.

and now that im here the tattoos feel.. silly. shameful. the people who ask me about them are most often panhandlers - and when i translate what it means to them i feel like such a poser. like, dirt poor? really? but im not dirt poor. im doing fine. if i dont get into the extensive backstory of the tattoos every time, i just.. look like someone trying to look rougher than i am. i feel like im appropriating a struggle that is no longer mine. and i dont even like the tattoos anymore and havent for a long time, and now the message itself doesnt feel worth having them.

like id forget where i come from if i didnt have it etched in my hands? like i even needed that reminder anyway? in the end, i got these because i didnt trust myself - because i thought my class solidarity was disingenuous, opportunistic, based only in my current circumstances. but ill never forget how i grew up. the message is already in me. i never needed a reminder. my past will always be a part of me.

so, anyway, ive been thinking of getting the tattoos lasered off. im far from being sure i wanna do it, though almost only because of the price, but ive been considering it often. i still feel a bit like its a betrayal of my 17 yo self. but then again, i think if he saw me now, 10 years older and in the position im in now, hed probably get it. hed see i havent really changed, not in the important ways. i think in the same way i need to forgive my past selves, maybe they too need to forgive me for moving on from them. so i really might get the laser, if not soon, then someday.

if i do, ill still have other hand and finger tattoos, so it wouldnt change much if i get new knuckle ones. if that does come to pass - im thinking "GOOD LUCK" this time.

[angel-kyo]

Pay it no mind

Part XIV

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. There is a mention of reader being injured, and I guess everyone is ooc here, but thank you for bearing with me.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII

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A week. Seven full days of silence. When was the last time you had gone this long without any contact with Satoru?

No calls. No messages. Not even a glimpse of him. You had learned from Ijichi that he had been sent on a mission to a distant part of the country just a couple days ago. In other words, there was nowhere to see him.

Initially, it had been a relief. After he left on that fateful night, and you allowed your feelings out. It was only then that it hit you: you had never cried over his rejection. It had hurt, and you had grieved in some way, but maybe by immediately pretending it had never happened, you had prevented yourself from accepting heartbreak.

The truth was just too scary to accept, so you had told Satoru the same lies you had been telling yourself for the past months. ‘It was just a crush’, ‘It has passed’, ‘I’m over it’.

“Liar,” you muttered to your own reflection on the bathroom mirror. Dark bags were starting to form under the eyes that returned your gaze.

Your back was sore and your sleep had not been the best during the last few days.

At first, you had been upset with Satoru, and then upset with yourself for not being able to just dodge the hit and play it cool.

Satoru must have known how much of an unpleasant memory it was for you. Why did he have to bring up the rejection again?

He was not that dense, and neither were you. Your friendship had often felt as both of you stepping right on the line between friends and lovers. Sometimes one of you would lose balance and almost fall on either side of it. Even if both of you denied it, none of you had a similar relationship with anyone else. Still, you believed he had given you the definitive push the day he rejected you.

If he could not feel the same, you could respect that. In fact, you had vowed to just forget it. But why did he have to kiss you while being aware of the hold he had on you?

It’s probably nothing to him, that’s why.

You remembered what Shoko had told you once.

“He is a bit selfish when it comes to you,” Shoko said softly, putting her head on your shoulder.

It must have been summer with how hot it was, and you could see droplets of sweat forming on Shoko’s forehead. You and she were sitting on a bench, outside of a convenience store. She had sent Geto and Gojo for drinks inside.

Satoru had initially said that Shoko and Suguru should go, but Ieiri had refused, saying she was getting a heatstroke and needed to sit down, with you to keep her company. Gojo rolled his eyes but let Suguru pulled him into the store anyway.

“Are you really feeling unwell?”

She only smiled.

At the beginning of your friendship with Suguru and Shoko, Satoru had wanted for all of you to get along, but he was not particularly appreciative of you spending too much time with either of them without him. He had loosened up quickly, though, but Shoko and Suguru were an exception. If he could keep you by his side, he would.

He could not take it back. All he had said and done; all the ways he made it look like there was more to it when there was not.

He can’t take any of it back, and neither can I. Paying it no mind is not going to solve it either.

You looked at your phone. You had sent Satoru a message earlier, just to make sure he was okay. Not that you should worry; he was strong, and if the world had not yet collapsed under curses, he was probably still alive. However, it was not like him to stay away from you this long with nothing but radio silence in between.

I guess I did kick him out, so I can’t blame him.

You washed your face and went to bed, not bothering to take your phone back to the bedroom. You needed to sleep, and the only person you cared to chat with at the moment had not even read your message.

***

“Okay, this one is it. Just try it out.” Satoru patted the mattress of the queen size bed he had found at the department store you were currently at.

You sat down. “It’s… It’s okay,” you said.

To Satoru, you did not sound impressed at all. “Just okay?”

You nodded. “Comfortable.”

“Is that how you try out a mattress? Do you sleep sitting up, [name]?” he asked smiling as he laid down on the sample bed.

You looked around. None of the other clients were really looking at you, too focused on their own shopping to care, but still…

“It’s kind of embarrassing.” You directed your eyes back to Satoru.

“It’s not, and it’s the only right way to do it,” Satoru said smiling and patting the mattress again so you would lay down too, which you finally did.

“And?” he asked.

The ceiling lights of the store were a little too bright, but if you focused only on how the mattress felt, it was indeed comfortable.

You had just signed the lease for your first apartment and getting some furniture was the next thing on your to-do list to become an independent person. Among the basics, having something to sleep on would be nice. That is how Satoru had accompanied you shopping for your first mattress.

“It’s more than okay,” you admitted.

“You should get it then.”

“How much is it, though?” Your eyes widened a bit after looking at the price, and you got up from the spot immediately. "Forget it. It's one zero too much."

I wouldn’t be surprised if they charged for just trying it.

Satoru, on the other hand, could not have looked more unbothered even if he tried. This was why going shopping with him and a budget in mind was useless.

“If this is the one you like, I would not mind…”

You shook your head. “No way. I have a budget, I just need to stick to it,” you reassured him. “Besides, this one would not even fit in my bedroom.”

Of course, he would not mind lending you money. He might not even ever ask you to pay back, but this was your quest for independence. You would rather not to lean on his resources. It was the same reason you had declined Yaga’s offer to crash at the school dorms, even though now that you were starting your teaching career there, it might have been convenient. It was going to be nice to have your own space, plus, now that all your former classmates had left, the dorms were too empty and too full of memories at the same time.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” A store clerk had spotted you and landed next to you. The woman was quick to compliment the model ‘you two’ had chosen.

Satoru had sat up and was now looking at her. When she looked at him more closely, her words halted, and a light blush appeared on her cheeks.

Right, that’s the effect he has on people.

You mentally thanked Satoru for being so good-looking that people would become speechless on his presence and allow you to speak instead.

“Actually,” you started, “this is not quite what I’m looking for.”

“Oh, well…” She seemed to have recovered from the momentary shock of first meeting Satoru’s face, “We have some other options that are preferred by couples. I will be glad to show you…”

You and Satoru shared a small smile. Another one, huh?

“We are not…” he said.

“We are friends,” you stated.

“Oh, sorry.” Her smile looked sincere, “Then is there anything you are looking for in particular?”

“Are there any… smaller options?” you asked hopeful. Maybe she had some cheaper ones too.

She nodded politely and asked you to follow her to another area of the store.

“Smaller?” Satoru had stood up to follow you. “How will we both sleep in it?” He was smirking.

You elbowed him, and he was kind enough to pretend it had hurt.

“Don’t say anything else that will confuse the lady,” you hissed and he chuckled.

That day, Satoru pretty much ended up picking your bed. It was not as big as he had wanted it, but it was comfortable enough and, to your delight, within budget. The only downside to Satoru was that it would require a bit of effort for both of you to fit in.

***

“Fancy seeing you here.” Satoru sat across from Shoko at her table in the school cafeteria.

She had decided to take a break from reviewing files at the infirmary and usually, she would not go to the cafeteria, but you had pulled her there so many times that her feet had carried her there almost automatically.

She looked at Gojo’s face. “You are back.”

“Got back last night.” He took out his phone and Shoko saw him check something on the screen and put it down on the table. Was it her imagination or he seemed tired? Tough to say without seeing his eyes, but he did have a duller aura around him right now.

Shoko raised her cup of tea to her lips and eyed Satoru’s phone.

“New phone?” she asked.

Satoru had leaned back on his chair and a adopted a more carefree expression. Even if he was a grown man, Shoko would have said he looked just the same as when they were highschoolers.

“Yeah…” It was impossible to tell, but Ieiri also thought his eyes were looking around the cafeteria, and she had a hunch on what he was searching for, or rather, who. “The other one broke down. It’s the same number, though.”

His phone had broken down three days ago, it slipped and the screen turned pitch black. It had not shut down immediately, though, and it still rang when Ijichi called him, but if he could not see the screen, it was no use keeping it.

Satoru had not really cared at first, only getting a cheap phone to communicate through the end of his mission. Ijichi had gotten a more suitable replacement ready for him when he got back, and it was only after setting it up and retrieving his backup data, that Satoru realized you had actually messaged him days ago.

Unlucky.

He had not replied yet, figuring he would see you at the school anyway and could maybe set things straight between you two. However, he had not encountered you across campus, and when he peeked at your class, your students were being looked after by a first-grade sorcerer he had seen around a few times, filling in the substitute teacher position.

He wanted to ask Shoko. “Say, Sho-”

“[name] took a couple days off,” she interrupted him while placing her cup back on the table and encircling it with both hands.

Can she read minds?

Shoko could not, but knowing Gojo, it was taking him long enough to ask about you.

"Oh."

She looked at him. “They...”

Shoko wanted to tell Satoru you had paid her a visit after one of your missions that week, but she was not sure you would have wanted Gojo to know.

Ieiri had been surprised at first when she saw you that day. A lot of blood always made it difficult to perceive at first glance how big a wound really was. After a closer inspection, she realized the injuries on your torso were not too concerning, not for someone with her abilities at least.

But if they were a regular person and I was a regular doctor, they would have probably been bed-ridden for a while, she thought.

She had had you in walking condition after a couple days, but it still bothered her. Getting injured during missions was the norm for sorcerers, especially younger ones, however, she knew you were experienced in battle. A scratch here and there was expected, but she had seen you returning more beaten up lately.

They are taking on more difficult missions, that was what she wanted to tell Gojo. She was not sure whether you were trying to get promoted or if for some reason they were actively assigning you missions above your rank.

The cup Shoko was holding was warming her hands.

A thought assaulted her mind: There is no predicting the higher-ups.

If you had upset one and now had a target on your back, Satoru could help you out, could he not?

“What is it?” Gojo tilted his head looking straight at Ieiri, or at least she felt this time he was looking at her.

“Nothing. I think they will be back tomorrow.”

Satoru had thought about visiting you, but seeing how that turned out last time, he decided to wait.

Giving you space was the right call in his experience. Usually, no matter what the problem was, you could talk it through when you both had had some time to mull it over.

But, in this case, how much time did you need?

The whole situation was like nothing you and him had faced before. Fighting over snacks or over a joke that went a step too far was one thing. The look you had given him that night and the way you called him selfish, that was completely different, and it had haunted him since he left your apartment.

Satoru grabbed his phone and finally replied to your message. He hit 'send' and offered an attempt of a smile to Shoko.

“If I asked for advice, would you give me some?”

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Note: I almost forgot my iconic note (even though I'm the only one who thinks it's iconic). And the note is... there is no note, just my love. <3

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part XV

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke @allie-jay @username23345 @spin-garden @ashehateaccount @kayzens @blehtotheblehtothebleh

[gejo333]

An Unexpected Match XII

Pt. 1

DBF/DILF Miguel O’Hara x female reader

18+ Warning

Summary: What does Miguel have up his sleeve during this graduation vacation gift?🤔

OMG, I am so so so sorry that I haven’t updated in a while. I moved abroad so I’ve been adjusting these past weeks. Also this chapter is extremely long which was another reason for the delay. Another reason might be that I know this story only has a few chapters left before it’s over🥺 so I want to savor it more.

I apologize for any grammatical mistakes I missed.

Enjoy!💕

Wc: 8.5k

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Luckily you only were taking two classes for your last semester of college, as you were able to still keep high grades even though you were recovering from the accident.

Over the course of those weeks you did have to testify in court for the kidnapping and endangerment of Gabi and the attempted murder on you by Sofia. Although you kept your composure, you wouldn't deny that you were grinning from ear to ear to see her in an orange jump suite and cuffs looking miserable.

Today was your graduation and luckily you had healed enough that you weren't limping anymore and you could wear the heels you had bought months ago specifically for your graduation dress.

You looked in the mirror of the bathroom making sure your makeup, hair, and outfit stilled looked just as good as it did back at home. Though you were excited to finally get your degree with your piers your nerves were going through the roof. What you really wanted was to be at the graduation dinner with your boyfriend, daughter, brothers and best friend. You decided to still invite your parents, not being that cruel to not let them see you graduate. But you really didn't want to interact with them, which you knew sadly will not go your way. You feel bad for Miguel as he has no choice but to sit next to them. You hope your brothers were in between him and your father.

"You look fabulous!" You turned to see Stephanie as she walked into to the bathroom also wearing a dress with the cap and gown.

"You look amazing too, Steph!" You smile as you hug her before she checks herself in the mirror just like you had done. She took out her mascara she hid in her small purse as she touched up her eyelashes.

"Girl, I can't believe we're graduating! It's insane. You're going to work at Alchamex and I'm going to grad school here. Super excited for the next chapter in our lives! Especially for you girlie, I think I hear wedding bells in your near future." Stephanie smirked as she looked at you.

"First off, I don't know if I got into Alchamex yet. I should hear next week. And you really think he might propose?" Your cheeks turn pink as your smile widens to the thought of Miguel proposing.

"You're definitely getting that job. And I have this feeling. Like maybe sometime this summer he'll do it. Damn girl I don't think either one of us would have thought that one of us might be married before 25." Stephanie chuckled.

"Well, we don't know he's going to propose. But like it's not like it hasn't been talked about." You check the time on your phone as you take a deep breath before sighing nervously. "It's time to line up."

You and Stephanie line up, her one person a head of you. She turns around smiling both anxious and excited which you return before the announcer begins the commencement.

As you walked out on to the lawn and towards your seat you looked around in hopes to catch Miguel's gaze. Sadly you couldn't find him as the audience was far too large. You made it to your seat, sitting down while you listen to the speaker.

After some time had passed they finally begin to call out names as people begin to line up. Your heart begin to beat quicker as the line continues to get closer to the stage before you know it, you heard Stephanie's name being called as she walked on to the stage to receive her degree.

"Y/n L/N." Spoke out the announcer. You smiled  as you walked up on to the stage to receive your degree. The crowd cheered as they did for everyone. You hoped to have caught a glimpse of your people, but sadly you couldn't spot them.

After getting back to your seat you sit with jitters the rest of the commencement as you want to go see Gabi and Miguel.

After another two hours, finally the time came for everyone to reunite with their loved ones.

"Ahh we did it!" Said Stephanie as she holds up her degree which you join her in as you both scream in excitement. You both then make your way through the crowd to try and find your group. Of course it wasn't too hard as your 6'9" boyfriend stuck out from the crowd. You grab Stephanie's hand as you guide her towards the group. Once you got closer, Miguel's eyes locked on you as his smile widened.

You quickly get to him as he opens one of his arms wide, the other carrying Gabi who was wearing a matching colored dress to yours with a pretty headband. You wrap one of your arms around his waist.

"Mama! I saw you on the stage! I waved!"

"I wish I was able to see you, but there were just so many people. I love this dress. It's so cute." You smile as you caress her cheek.

"We match!" She smiled excitedly.

"We do! I love it." You smile at her lovingly.

"Ok ok, it's time for Papa to congratulate you now." Miguel chuckled as he leaned down and captured his plush lips with yours before pulling away. "Congratulations, mi amor."

"Congratulations y/n. Welcome to the real world." Said your older brother Jack as he came over with Stephanie by his side.

"Thanks Jack. So should we head out."

"Not yet. Mom and Dad want to see you real quick and congratulate you." Said Liam as he walked up to the group, followed by your parents. Even after your accident your relationship with them is still on thin ice. If they just accepted your relationship with Miguel then you would be more than happy to forgive them. However as they join the group their smiles falter as they glance over to Miguel.

"Congratulations sweetie, we're so proud of you. All that hard work really paid off." Said your mother as she tries to hug you which you awkwardly accept.

"Thanks." A half-smile was awkwardly placed on your lips. "I'm lucky I was able to finish this year." You couldn't help yourself from saying the snide comment.

"Well you understand our reason why." Added your father.

"And you understand why I'm going to continue to ignore you both."

"It's just ridiculous, it's so hard to attend local events because of-" your mother went off before she was interrupted by Miguel.

"It's getting close to our dinner reservation, so we're going to go." Miguel lost his smile as he stared down at your parents.

"Fine. Can we at least see you for dinner tomorrow or Sunday to celebrate?" Your mother offered. You sighed about to accept it, so that they'll be off you back off for a while, however before you could Miguel spoke up.

"Actually she won't be available this weekend." You looked up to him brows furrowed, curious to his response. He sighed before looking at you with a loving smile. "I was going to surprise you later with your gift, but you and I are going on a weekend vacation." Your eyes widen as a surprised smile replaces your awkward one.

"Can I ask where?" You chuckle.

"Sorry Cariño that's a surprise." Miguel chuckled as he kissed the side of your head.

"Well, we're going to leave." Said your Mother with an unamused expression as she and your father left. "Liam come on." She added.

"But I want to go out with them." Liam complained.

"Listen to your mother Liam." Added your father.

"Dad it's fine. I'll pay for him and drop him off." Offered Jack.

"Fine. Be back by 8." Your father said before catching up with your mother.

"Ok let's get these solemn faces some food and liquor to celebrate y/n and I graduating." Cheered Stephanie which made everyone smile and laugh as you all head to your designated cars to head to the restaurant.

Dinner with your brothers, best friend, and family to celebrate was great, but eventually it had to end as you all went on your way back home.

Miguel opened the front door, letting you go in first as you were carrying the sleeping Gabi. You both went upstairs as you helped change Gabi into her pjs before tucking her into bed. Both you and Miguel sit there on the bed gazing at her peaceful state.

"Is it possible to have her stay the way she is?" You whisper as you gently brush some of her hair away from her face.

"I wish there was a way." Miguel replied as he smiled down at her before placing a kiss to her forehead and standing up from the bed. After you repeated the gesture he held his hand out for you to take and help you off the bed, just out of kindness and for some contact with you.

You both walk back to your shared bedroom as you take a seat on the edge of the bed to rest for a second, as the exhaustion starts to take a toll on you. Miguel comes out of his closet, shirt unbutton, revealing his chiseled chest, which you couldn't help but glance at with a small blushing smile.

"You like what you see?" Miguel chuckled as he made his way over to you and sat next to you before putting your legs on his lap.

"I do."  You grin as you get on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. Miguel places his arms around you to bring you closer.

"Hey, I have something to tell you." Miguel smile was wide and infectious as you smiled back at him.

"What is it? It must be good if you're smiling like that."

"I got a call from Jess my colleague at work. She said you got the job."

Your face turns to surprise before smiling again. "Omg, no way. Really?! I thought I wasn't suppose to find out until next week?" You hug Miguel which makes you both fall onto the bed, both laughing. You ended up straddled on his lap. You leaned down and kissed him. While distracted he flipped you around on the bed so he was above you.

"I might have pulled some strings to get your response sooner. Jess said that your resume was phenomenal. Actually you were the top person out of the people selected." He said before leaning down to kiss you. "Now you are stuck with me." He added placing another kiss to your lips.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." You chuckle as you happily return his kiss, You wrap your arms around his neck to deepen it and savor the taste of his lips.

"We should get some rest we have to wake up early to catch our flight. And Gabriel is probably going to be here earlier than planned." Miguel sighed giving you one last kiss before laying next to you and pulling you against his side, resting your head on his chest. You turn your head to look up at him.

"Where are you taking me Mr. O'Hara?" You smile as you trace your finger over his chest and abs.

"Like I said before, it's a surprise, cariño. You will find out when we get there." Miguel chuckled from your teasing tone.

Your hand trail down his abdomen where you loosened his belt and pants, and lowering your hand into his boxers. A sigh escaped his lips as your wrapped your hand around his half-erect cock. You begin to move your hand, " will this convince you to tell me?" You batted your eye lashes at him, which made him chuckle lightly as he relaxed against your touch.

"Sorry hermosa. Not telling you. But you can continue with what you're doing though." Miguel whispered in your ear. You smile as your roll your eyes from his response. You lower his boxer so his now erect cock, dripping with pre-cum bounced out against his stomach. "You're lucky I've been so horny lately since I was only cleared this week to be able to have sex again." You chuckle as you straddle him, positioning him before you lowered yourself as you let out a moan. Miguel rest his hands on your hips as he begins to thrust up into you instantly hitting your sweet spot.

"It has been a very fun week since that check-up." Miguel chuckled as he let out a groan. Not being allowed to have sex for so long during your recovery, making each time this week even more sensational. As soon as the doctor had cleared you, both you and Miguel couldn't even make it back to the house, fucking on the sink in the private bathrooms in the hospital and once in the car in the garage before barely making it to the bedroom. Let's just say neither of you have had any rest this week.

You move your hips along with his. You throw your head back as you feel his tip hit against your cervix. "Fuck I missed feeling you so much. God you're still tight even though I've been fucking you non-stop this week."

Miguel's grip on your hips grew stronger as he fucked you faster, making the knot in your stomach grow tighter and release as you let out a breathy moan. "Miguel."

Your voice sent him over the edge, as he thrusted into you, spilling inside your inner walls. You collapsed onto his sweaty chest as he wrapped his arms around you, kissing your forehead before removing himself from you, earning a small moan from your lips. Of course your voice made his cock go hard again.

"Guess we're not getting any sleep tonight." He breathed out before thrusting back inside you.

——————-

It was the early morning hours of the next day, the sun not even out yet when you heard the doorbell ring. Both you and Miguel got up an hour prior to get ready and packed, barely running on two hours of sleep.

You go to Gabi's room as you go to her bedside and kneel down. "Hi baby bug. Tio Gabi is here. Papa and I are going to leave soon, do you want to say goodbye?" Your soft tone woke her as she rubbed one of her eyes trying to get the sleep out as she yawned nodding her head. You lift her out of the bed and walk out of the room. You smile as she rests her head against you, her eyes trying hard to stay open.

You walk down the steps towards the two brothers in the entry way where your two suitcases sat.

"Someone wanted to say goodbye." You say as you bring Gabi over to Miguel, who smiled lovingly at his daughter as he took her into in his arms and gave her a kiss to the cheek, "goodbye princesa. Mama and I will miss you so much. We'll see you on Monday." He gives her another kiss on her forehead. You then stood right next them as Gabi squirmed out of her father's hold as she wanted to go back in your arms.

You happily took her as you held her close to you as you gave her a kiss to her forehead. "Aw we'll miss you baby bug. If you ever miss us just ask Tio Gabriel to call us."

Miguel comes back inside the house after putting the bags in the hired car. "It's time to head to the airport."

You keep holding Gabi as you comb your fingers through her hair, which calmed her down when she felt anxious. "Ok baby bug, we have to go now. I'll miss you so much."

Gabi clung to you not wanting to leave your arms, which made your heart ache, making you not want to leave her.

"Come here mi pequeña sobrina. We'll have a fun weekend. We'll go to the movies, the park, and eat all the junk food we want." Gabriel said as you handed Gabi over to him. His words perked her ears and made her eyes widen with excitement. "Yay!"

Miguel rolled his eyes at his brother, not ready to have to deal with a sugar-high child when he comes back. But as long as his daughter was happy he would be happy.

After saying your last goodbyes you and Miguel enter the back seat of the car as it drives off towards the airport. The smooth ride plus the warmth of sitting right next to Miguel made your eyes grow heavy before closing.

What felt like only a minute later you feel lips pressed to your hand. "Wake up, mi vida. We're here." Your eyes open to see Miguel smiling down at you. You lift your head from his shoulder as you smile up at him. "Oops, I must have fallen back asleep." You chuckle. You both get out of the car. Eyes widened slightly shocked to not be in front of the airport drop-off but on the tarmac with a private jet 10 feet from where you stood.

"You ready, cariño?" Miguel placed a hand on your mid-lower back. You look up to him with a smile as you both walk towards the jet. When you entered you were amazed by the luxurious scene before you. Light tan leathered cushioned seats.

You find a seat by the window as you look outside the window, smiling as you begin to see the sunrise. Miguel sat in the chair in front of you. He extends his hand across the table to rest on top of yours.

"Is everything alright? You have a surprised look on your face."

" Everything is perfect. I guess it's a mixture of still waking up and coming to the realization that I'm on a private jet." You smile as you intertwine your hand with his.

"Ah I see. Well let's make it an amazing first time." He gestures for the flight attendant, who brings a bottle of Prosecco and two glasses. Once they were filled you clinked glasses and took a sip, neither of your eyes left the others.

Throughout the plan ride you still tried to convince Miguel to tell you where you were going. And every time he wouldn't tell you, only giving a toothy grin and a chuckle as he would say, "lo siento mi amor. Not happening."

In between that you both would have conversation either about Gabi and her changing schools next year, talking about you starting at Alchamex, or just random things on each others' mind. Plus a few fun activities in the bathroom.

Finally the time came that you would find out where you would be going, seeing the view from the window. However, Miguel, being sneaky had all the windows close so you couldn't see it. Your pout made his heart swoon as he gestured for you to come over and sit on his lap.

"You'll find out very soon." Miguel lightly took your chin as he kissed you. The kiss lasted a bit longer turning slightly heated, but before Miguel could get his tongue in your mouth you removed your lips from him earning a pout on his face, making you chuckle.

"Sorry Miggy. Not happening until I know where we're going." You press a quick kiss to his lips before getting off his lap and back to your seat. You grin mischievously at him knowing you've poked the bear who stares down at you with lust-filled eyes.

Another 20 minutes and the jet landed. You and Miguel got up and towards the now open door. You stepped outside as you felt the warm salty breeze that was so familiar to you.

"It's nice to be back in Miami with you cariño."

You look up at him both eyes and lips smiling in excitement. "You're so sweet. Thank you for this." You go on your toes to kiss his cheek, which made his grin widen, showing his dimples, something you cherished deep within your heart and soul.

The drive didn't take long as traffic went smoothly. Flashbacks and the feeling of nostalgia overcame you as the driver pulls into the same hotel you had met Miguel in almost 3 years ago.

After getting checked in Miguel leads you to your room. A smile graces your lips as you reminisce the memories of walking through these halls last time you were here.

Miguel opens the door as you enter a massive suite. As you walk in your eyes widen in amazement as you gaze at the gorgeous spacious living room with floor-to ceiling windows and luscious and soft furniture. When you turn you see a massive kitchen with an intimate-size dinning table.

You set your bag down as you walk towards the main windows you noticed the large patio balcony that has its own intimate pool, lawn chairs, and dining table with an umbrella. The sun was shining beautifully brightening your smile. You couldn't wait to spend the weekend under the sun with Miguel.

Strong arms wrapped around your waist pulling you against him. A relaxing sigh escaped you as you felt his soft lips against your neck, hitting your sweet spot.

"Should we break in our sanctuary for the weekend?" He whispered against your ear as his hand lowered, lifting your skirt. He pulled you closer as he moved your panties to the side and began rubbing your clit. Your breath hitched as you felt one of his fingers push inside you as his other hand lifted up your top and squeezed your right breast.

"Didn't get enough on the flight here?" You let out a small chuckle before gasping as he entered another finger and pumped faster.

"I can never have enough of you, cariño. Fucking you in that enclosed bathroom twice wasn't enough. I wish you would have just let me sprawl you on the sofa in the jet." Miguel inserted a third finger, filling your aching pussy as he sucked on your neck, leaving marks in his trek.

"T-the flight attendant w-would have seen us."

"She would have gone to the cockpit to give us some privacy.But no matter. We'll make up for it right now." Miguel continued to pump his fingers into you as he grind his boner into your back. A moan left you, chills shooting up your spine as Miguel pinches your right nipple as he sucked on your neck. The various touches made the knot form in your lower abdomen. Your head falls against his chest, giving his mouth more access to your neck, marking you all over.

Miguel lets out a groan as his pants tighten, wanting to free himself and fill up your soft and warm walls.

Not able to take it much longer Miguel removes his fingers, letting out an annoyed moan from you. He turns you around lifts you up and sits you on the dining room table. He goes down on his knees as he removes your panties and skirt putting your legs over his shoulders before diving his tongue deep into your aching cunt.

A shaky moan leaves you as Miguel's tongue enters your wet folds. His lips adventure around your overly sensitive area, as your thighs wrapped tight around his head, making his cock twitch from the pressure as he yearned to be inside you.

Every time your eyes opened and looked down your cheeks turned a shade darker as your eyes met his intense reddish-brown gaze. You gripped the edge of the table as you felt his tongue slowly lick your wet folds before sucking your sensitive clit, instinctively making your hips buck up against him.

You begin to feel your core tighten again, " Cum for me cariño," he said before his lips sucked on your clit.

Your grip on the table relaxed as you released yourself onto his face, your thighs shaking from your release of your orgasm. Miguel stood up from his knees, a smirk on his face as he hooked your knees with his hands as he pulled you closer against him. He leaned down and took your chin as he lifted your head slightly and captured his lips with yours. You moan as you tasted yourself on his tongue.

"You like tasting yourself, amor?" Miguel hummed in amusement before capturing your lips again and entering his tongue in your mouth.

You hummed in agreement against his lips before breathlessly saying, "only from your lips, Miggy."

As you both continued the passionate make out session Miguel moved his hands from your ass. To your disappointment as he began to unbuckle his belt and began to unzip his pants the doorbell rang.

You both sighed in frustration, annoyed in being interrupted. Miguel puts himself back in and walks to the front door as he buckles his belt. Already losing the moment you hop off the table.

You peak around the corner to see that it was the bell hop delivering the bags. Although you could only see Miguel's broad back you tried to hold back a chuckle as you saw the scared face of the bell hop. Miguel must have been terrifying the man just because he cock-blocked him.

After the bell hop left Miguel brought all the luggage to the main area, setting it down in a huff in frustration. His hair was out of its normal place. He combined it back with his fingers, however, it fell right back onto his forehead. He looked at you with a smile opening his arms to you, which you happily walked into his arms as he wrapped you up in a bear hug. You looked up at him as you got on your toes to kiss his chin.

"I guess the moment has passed?" Miguel asked.

"Yeah, I'm sorry Miggy. That Bell hop really did come at the worst time."

"He did." Miguel sighed as he leaned down and placed a loving kiss on your lips. "What would you like to do now? We can go shopping, go to the pool, the beach, stay here."

"I don't care what we do I just want to be with you." You smile as you rest your head against his chest, enjoying the rhythm of his heartbeat.

"Dios mío, mi amor. Mi corazón se hincha por lo lindo que puedes ser. Mi mente y mi corazón se vuelven locos por ti. Te amo con todo mi corazón y mi alma." Miguel smiled wide as he places butterfly kisses all over your face and neck. (Oh my God, my love. My heart swells because of how beautiful you can be. My mind and heart go crazy for you. I love you with all my heart and soul.)

"You are such a sweet talker, Miguel. Are you trying to get into my pants again?" You chuckle as you wrap your arms around his neck to pulls him down and kiss him.

"'Maybe a little bit." He chuckled along with you. "Let me take you shopping cariño. I want to treat you to a nice weekend."

"Aw Miguel that's sweet of you. But you know you don't need to win me over with anything artificial. I love you."

"I love you too. And I know that. But can't a boyfriend just spoil his girlfriend sometimes?" He chuckles as he brushed some strands of your hair behind your ear.

"Well if you say it like that, then ok. But if there is anything that catches your eye, I'm buying it for you."

"Whatever you wish for cariño."

You spend majority of the day exploring the shopping district in South Beach. Both you and Miguel bought plenty of things. The last place was a men's store to look at shirts for Miguel. Throughout the day he had bought everything that peaked your interest even if you didn't say anything, he got it for you. You really wanted to buy him a few things.

He picked out a few nice dress shirts as he went to go try them on on top of handing him a few more that you thought would look good on him. Every time he showed you a new shirt you thought he looked amazing in all of them. Also you just kept on eating up all the gawking stares at Miguel from both men and women. Usually some people would be annoyed by people checking out your boyfriend, as long as they didn't directly try to flirt with him in front of you. But you just loved that he was yours and you were his, which was easily shown when he wrapped an arm around your waist.

After grabbing a bite to eat you both decided it was time to head back to the hotel as the sun already was gone. After dropping off all the bags you both head down to a familiar-looking out door bar by the pool.

Miguel guides you to two seats at the bar counter. A chill went up your spine, the feeling of deja vu running through your mind.

Your smile widens when the bartender brings over the drinks you both had ordered. Before you could take a sip Miguel swiftly moved it from your grasp. You sent him a playful offended look as you lean closer to him, lips only centimeters a part. "This time I'm old enough to drink." You wink at him, before his lips could meet yours, you pulled your head away and placed your lips on the rim of your glass as you take your first sip, eyes never leaving his.

"This time I know that you're mine." Miguel pulls you closer  towards him, smiling wide at you before taking your chin and kissing you. "God I just want to ravage you right now."

You giggle at his words, "Not. Yet. My love." You tap his plush lips with your finger as you pronounce each word. Miguel smiles against your finger as he kisses it before wrapping an arm around your waist and moving your chair as close to his as possible.

"Hey I wanted to tell you some big news."

"Oh?! What is it?!"

"The same day I heard about you getting the internship I officially became the CEO of Alchamex."

"Oh my god Miguel! That's amazing! Congratulations!" Your eyes widen as you wrap your arms around his neck, practically jumping on him, giving him a kiss.

Miguel's smile widened with joy as he happily accepted you into his arms.

"Well now we have something to celebrate for this weekend!"You smile as you sit back in your seat and raise your glass. Miguel chuckles from your remarks as he follows your gesture with his drink.

"Let's drink to us mi amor."

"To us? What for?" You return his wide smile.

"Your internship. My new position. Our future." You felt your heart skip a beat when you heard his last words.

"I'll cheers to that. I love you."

"I love you too, cariño."

After a few more drinks at the bar and another night of passion you wake up the next morning feeling slightly sore.

Raising from the bed you stretch as you smile at the beautiful morning sky. You notice the lack of warmth to the other side of the bed as you can hear the shower running in the bathroom. A chill went up your spine, as the feeling of Deja vu washed over you. You leave the bed as you walk over to the master suite bathroom in your birthday suit.

As you enter your cheeks redden from the sight of water dripping down his wide strong back as it rolls down his waist to his plush ass and down to the marble floor. You bite your lip as you watch his arm muscles flex as he washes his curls. You step into the shower stepping around him and directly under the water. You look up at him with a suggestive smile.

"Good morning mi amor. I didn't think you would be up yet. But I'm glad you are now." Miguel leaned down and cupped your chin as he kissed you. Craving him you wrapped your arms lazily around his neck. His other hand grabbed you by the waist pulling you against him, a groan escaping his lips as your stomach rubbed against his erected cock.

"I missed the warmth of your body in the bed." You gave him a fake pout as you push your body closer to his, making your breasts push against him. Miguel's eyes widen before filling with lust as he gave you one of his iconic smirks.

"Aw I'm sorry baby. I can warm you up now though." Miguel lifted you up against the shower wall, large hands cupping your ass as he thrusts himself into you.

A moan escapes you as you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist as he begin to fuck you at a rough pace. Your nails dig into his shoulders as you feel the build up from the feeling of his thick ridges invading your pink flesh walls.

Miguel moved one of his hands to your lower abdomen has he could see and feel himself fucking your insides. "Ugh cariño I just want to fill you up with my seed and see your stomach swollen with our children."

"M-Miggy." You barely could say his name, to caught up in your own pleasure.

"Fuck, I love it when you say my name." Miguel's lips pressed against your neck as he nipped and sucked at your skin as he continued to ram you against the wall. With his hand pressing against your lower abdomen, making your space for his cock to move inside you tighter. The feeling in your stomach quickly builds up and with one more thrust your eyes roll back as you find your release. After a few more thrusts Miguel released himself inside you, latching his lips to yours in a heated kiss. His thrust slowed down before he pulled out, his seed spilling out of you.

Miguel let you stand again. He turned you around, putting some shampoo in his hand as he massaged it into your scalp. You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes enjoying the sensation.

After he helped washing your hair, you poured some body wash in your hands as you began to wash his body. As you used the cloth to wash his broad chest he brush some loose strands behind your ear, whispering "So beautiful." You smiled lovingly up at him as he caressed your cheek. 

After finishing cleaning in the shower you both get dry and ready for the day before heading out hand in hand to grab some breakfast.

The hostess seats you at a nice table outside facing the beach. You and Miguel decided to sit next to each other instead of across wanting to be close to one another.

"Anything in store for today?" You smile before taking a sip of your mimosa.

"I was thinking we relax at the beach today. How does that sound?" Miguel smiles as he pops a grape into his mouth.

"That sounds wonderful."

Miguel's phone buzzed on the table, picking it up a smile appears on his face. Looking over you see it's Gabriel face-timing him. You scoot your chair closer to Miguel before he pressed the answer button.

"Mama! Papa!" Said the young voice you missed.

"Buenas días, princesa. ¿Cómo dormiste?" ( Good morning princess, how did you sleep?)

"Good! I miss you and mama. When are you coming home?" Your heart ached when you saw her sad pout.

"We miss you so much baby bug. Papa and I will be back in two more sleeps."

"Ok Mama. Papa did you-" "well look at the time, it's time for you to get ready for soccer practice." Gabriel interrupted his little niece for talking further.

You frowned slightly wanting to talk to Gabi more as you did miss her, but after a quick goodbye Gabriel hung up the call.

"I wish we could have talked longer. I miss her."

Miguel took your hand and kissed the inside of your wrist.

"I miss her too, but we'll see her soon."

"You're right." You smile as you cup his cheek lovingly.

After enjoying breakfast together you walk to the beach and find two seats with an umbrella. You lay your beach bag and towels on the chairs before removing your sun dress over your head. As soon as your were just in your colorful bikini you heard a snap. Before you could even react Miguel blocked your chest from nearby onlookers.

"Aw my shoulder strap broke." You pout, as you cover your chest. "I have another one in my bag, I'll go change in one of the bathrooms."

"Do u need help?" Miguel asked with a look of slight concern.

"Don't worry I'll be ok. Thank you for protecting me, my knight and shining armor." You go on your toes and kiss his lips before grabbing your spair bikini and heading over towards the bathroom.

After switching bikinis you look yourself over in the mirror smiling before heading back out to the beach. Your happy smile switched to a frown when you noticed the waitress getting too close to your boyfriend. Of course before you can get there she leaves. When you got to your chair you noticed Miguel's annoyed face before his eyes met yours and seconds later his loving smile returned.

"Make a friend there?" You chuckle as you sit on the chair next to him.

"Just the typical waitress trying to gain my favor, they are just too blind to see that my heart and body belong to you only. Oh I ordered you a mango margarita." Miguel took your hand and kissed your knuckles. You notice the waitress was about to come back over with your drinks, so the mischievous person you can be, you straddle his lap as you trace your hands up his chiseled chest to his shoulders to massage them.

"¿Qué estás haciendo mi sexy minx?" Miguel chuckled with a smirk on his face as he placed his hands on your hips. (What are you doing my sexy minx?)

"Just helping you relax plus another reason."

"Care to let me in on it?"

"Oh I think you already have figure it out Doctor O'Hara."

Miguel gave your hips a tiny love squeeze to your cheeky remark.

The waitress came back now acting nervous when she noticed you on Miguel's lap acting all lovey dovey.You smiled as you could tell Miguel was trying told back a chuckle as he knew your only got like this when you got jealous. He thought it was cute. "H-here are your d-drinks."

"You can place them on the table. Thank you." The waitress gives you a fake awkward happy smile before walking away. You hand Miguel his beer before grabbing your drink and taking a sip from your straw.

"This is bringing back fond memories." Miguel brushed some of your hair behind your shoulder before bringing you closer against him. Luckily you were at a Adults-only hotel, so you didn't have to worry about children being around.

"What makes you say that?"

"You sitting in my lap under the sun by the sea. Who would have thought I would call you mine almost three years later." Miguel took your chin gently and placed a loving kiss to both sides of your cheeks before placing one on your lips.

"Oh Miggy you can be such a romantic. I love you." You chuckle with a loving smile before placing another kiss on his lips.

"Anything to please you hermosa."

"You remember that nice memory of us in the private pool?" You give him a suggestive smile wrapping your arms around his neck now and bringing your chest against his. Miguel grabbed your ass and pulled you closer, feeling a half erect  hard on under neath his swim suit shorts rubbing  against your clit you bite your lower lip to hide your moan.

"I do."

"Maybe we should sneak into the pool tonight and recreate it?"

"Actually I booked us a private cabana and pool for all day tomorrow. So we can recreate that moment, on and on and on." Miguel moved his hips against you on rhythm with his last words. Before the beginning of a knot could form in your lower abdomen you remember you were in public and immediately remove yourself from his lap and back to to your chair blushing madly.

"Aw cariño why did you leave? I thought we were having fun." Miguel sent you a fake pout.

"A little too much fun in public. Save it for closed doors." You wink at him. Miguel winked back with a chuckle kissing your forehead as he wrapped and arm on the back of your chair as your were right next to him.

You spent the day laying in the sun enjoying each others presence in comfortable silence with a break or two playing in the water to cool off.

Once the sun begins to set you go back to the hotel and shower together, taking longer than usual to both satisfy your sexual hunger building up throughout the day.

You smile at yourself in the long mirror lining the long dress with heels that you chose. Miguel had said that dinner was at a Michelin star Mexican-Japanese restaurant tonight, which you were excited to try.

"You look gorgeous mi amor." Miguel wrapped his arms around you in a hug as he kisses your neck. You turn around to face your handsome boyfriend.

"You look handsome." You giggle slightly from his light kisses tickling your neck.

"Not too old for you?" He lightly chuckled but you could tell he actually wanted to know, feeling slightly insecure.

"Miguel. You're the one for me. You're my perfect man."

"Flaws and all?"

"Flaws and all. But I see your flaws as unique characteristics. And I love every single one." You lift his head to look into his brown eyes.

"You are more than perfect y/n." Miguel smiled as he kissed your lips. Once you both broke away you chuckled lightly to see that your red lipstick left a mark on his lips. You grab a tissue and gently wipe the red from his lips.

"God, if I didn't want to go to this restaurant I would mount you right now on this bed." You take a deep breath trying your best to control yourself. What this man could make your mind and body feel.

"We'll have plenty of time afterwords, unless, do you want to have a quickie right now? We have 20 minutes. Only takes 8 to walk there." Miguel smirked as he turned you back around and bent you over before you could answer. He got your answer when you rubbed your ass against his crotch making him groan from the contact. He unzipped his pants and taking himself out before lifting your dress and pushing your white lace underwear to the side before pushing himself in. A moan left your lips as he fully entered himself inside your wet pink folds. From this angle you were tighter so you felt the feeling of his ridges and veins moving against your inner walls.

Grabbing your hips he removes himself fully except the tip before plunging back into you.

"Fuck hermosa. You feel so good. It's going to be hard just to fill you once."

Miguel pace quickens at record speed building your knot instantly. Another moan escaped your lips overwhelmed by the quick and pleasurable orgasm. However, after coming down from your euphoric high you noticed his pace doesn't falter.

"M-miggy."

"Just one more. Let me make you cum one more time." And true to his word you felt another knot build just as fast as the first before feeling that familiar and intoxicating high you can't seem to get enough of. After your second orgasm Miguel stopped his thrusts inside you, as he made your inner walls white. He thrusted a few more times inside you wanting as much seed to stay inside you as his constantly had the need to breed you.

He walked over to the bathroom to get a warm wet towel to clean you off before cleaning himself off.

You look in the mirror to make yourself look presentable before linking arms with your boyfriend. "Look at that, we still have time to spare. Could have fucked you for another few minutes.Guess we'll head over early."

"Guess we'll have to add those minutes for later tonight's session." Miguel smirked from your response before placing a kiss on the top of your head before you both left the room towards the restaurant.

You make it to the restaurant and are seated right away at a beautiful table outside with a bottle of Prosecco in an ice bucket ready to be sipped.

The dinner and atmosphere was perfect. The food and drink was amazing, the staff were really nice. How more perfect could this night get?

"Wow, I can see why this restaurant has a Michelin star, every bite was amazing. What an amazing day. Thank you." You smile

"I'm glad you liked it cariño. But dinner is not quite over yet. We still have dessert." Miguel chuckled slightly when you gave him a curious look.

You were curious to his words because Miguel didn't have a big sweet tooth. You're surprised by the waiter coming over with a small white cake with white flowers dusted gold.

On the top it read in cursive "Will you..."the waiter took a lighter and lit the thin layer on fire revealing another set of words, "Marry me?"

When your eyes lifted to Miguel's you saw him already beside you kneeling down on one knee with a velvet small box open.

"Y/n. Mi Vida. Mi amor. When I look into your eyes, I can see a reflection of the two of us and the life I hope we'll share. I know we have had our challenges in this relationship. But my love for you is so much stronger than any challenge that has come or will come in our way. When I met you almost three years ago at this very hotel I'd never felt my heart so full. I never felt so happy before. And I'm so happy that you came back into my life. I promise you, no one will work harder to make you happy or cherish you more than me. Will you make me the happiest man on Eartg and marry me?"  Miguel opened up the black velvet box to reveal a beautiful oval shaped, 3 carat diamond stone with a white gold band that decorated with smaller diamonds on both sides.

Tears brimmed the corner of your eyes. Your heart was pounding a mile a minute as you felt butterflies fly rapidly in your stomach. You started to nod your head yes having a hard time speaking as you gave him a wide happy smile before wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him up with some new found strength as you kiss him. You pepper his lips with kisses while you say in between, "yes. Yes. I will marry you."

Miguel smile was bright and happy, the smile that made your heart swell with love. He cupped your cheek, "You just made me the happiest man on Earth."

The surrounding tables called and cheered for your joyous occasion. Miguel took the beautiful ring from its box as he slipped it on your ring finger.

"It fits perfectly. It's beautiful Miguel." You look at the ring smiling before placing another kiss to his lips.

After paying the bill you both leave the restaurant as you decide to take a walk on the beach.

Miguel leads you to a private section of the beach where a gorgeous open tent with candles lighting a path in the sand with petals trailing up the middle. You gasped in wonder when you see the inside of tent. A king sized floor mattress and comforters with blankets and pillows. On one side there was champagne and a small fruit platter with a sign that said, 'Congratulations.'

"Oh Miguel this is gorgeous." You look up at him with love and excitement which returns in his gaze.

"Now let's celebrate." Miguel lifted you up bridal style before gently throwing you on to the soft comforter.

The ending of the night was perfect as you showed each other how much you loved each other as you made love on the beach under the starry night sky.

You wake up to the bright sun shinning over the bright blue water. Brain becoming more awake you realize you were still in the tent on the beach.

You felt Miguel shift as you felt the grip he had around your waist tighten as he pulled you back against his chest as he whispered in your ear with his rough morning voice, " Good morning hermosa."

"Good morning." You turn your head slightly to meet his lips with yours to give him a morning kiss. You then remember the band around your finger as you turned to look at it.

"Oh my god, we're engaged."You cover your mouth eyes widening smiling as the realization finally hits you.

"We are." Miguel chuckled to your words as he placed a few kisses on your shoulder and neck.

"How did you set this all up?"

"It's a special offer they have for the newly engaged. It's a private part of the beach that no one else can go to .

"Very romantic. Thank you for a wonderful weekend away."

"Of course mi amor. Anything for you."

The rest of the morning was spent with more love making and breakfast that was delivered.

You both decided it was time to head back to the room, walking back in the clothes from the night before.

The day went by in a flash from the private pool and cabana to another romantic dinner to now where you are on the terrace balcony of your room laying on the outdoor sofa and cuddling in each others arms.

You gaze up at the stars as you both try to find constellations.

"Look there's the Little Dipper!" You point up to the sky with your left hand. Miguel gently grabs your hand that was raised to the sky and brings it to his lips placing a kiss to your wrist.

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." He smiled as his reddish-brown gaze met yours. Your cheeks flushed slightly as you smiled up at him.

"Me too. I love you Miguel O'Hara."

"I love too, soon-to-be Y/n O'Hara."

————————————————————————

Hope you enjoyed this chapter!💕

Tag List

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[asksythe]

Ah? What do you mean mpreg is built into the setting of MDZS?

I mean exactly what I said. It's part of the setting. Mpreg is part of MDZS setting.

Or rather, mpreg is part of any and all xianxia or Chinese fantasy settings. Mpreg is not impossible... or even truly rare... in xianxia setting. There are at least three different regular ways for men to get pregnant in this kind of setting, even for low xianxia like MDZS.

Xianxia is Chinese fantasy. Cultivators cultivate until immortality. The upper level of cultivation, an immortal becomes a facet of reality and bends the world to their will. Some can even create an entirely new world wholesale. What's getting pregnant compared to that?

Sure, the setting of MDZS is low xianxia. But we know at the very least a lot of MDZS cultivators are at the Jindan stage. Do you know which stage comes right after the Jindan stage?

元婴 Yuanying. The common English translation for this stage is Nascent Soul. But its real meaning is nascent / origin child/baby/infant.

How does yuanying come about? Well, a cultivator at the end of Jindan stage will go through tribulation. If they pass through tribulation successfully, the jindan (golden core) in their belly will collapse and out comes a baby. This baby then takes over the task of the jindan, circulating the cultivator's chi and feeding off of it. The baby will grow alongside the cultivator's progress, eventually maturing and potentially becoming a separate person should the parent allows it.

(Game interface from a Chinese cultivation game)

This stage is very well documented in actual real-world ancient texts by Wu Liupai, dating back to the 16th century. It's not a modern concept made up for entertainment. It's part of actual real-world Daoist practices and beliefs.

...And xianxia is the brought up to eleventh fantasy version of real-world Daoism. Think about it.

So in truth, every single high-level Jindan stage cultivator in MDZS is just one stage and one successful tribulation away from getting preggo whether they want to or not. (Yes. Every single one of them. Not just Wei Ying or Lan Wangji, but also Jiang Cheng, Lan Qiren, Lan Xichen, Xiu Xingchen, Song Lan, Nie Mingjue... if he didn't die, etc... Not Jin Guangyao, though. He's too weak to get pregnant. Jin Zixuan, maybe)

You don't even have to be a cultivator or in a xianxia setting to get pregnant (whether you are male or female or whatever). Artificially induced pregnancy has been a thing in Chinese folklore since the Summer and Autumn period (BCE). Several different classics mention a fruit called 孕果 yunguo (Lit. Pregnant Fruit). This fruit bestows the ability to get pregnant to anyone who eats it, regardless of gender. Sexual activity with a man is still required, though. Can't make something out of nothing.

And the most famous and widely known in Chinese folklore: water from the River of Mother and Child 子母河. Anyone who drinks this water becomes pregnant, regardless of gender (or even species, actually). You know the most famous person who drank it? The monk Tan Sanzang... and his disciple Zhu Bajie (a male pig), and Sha Wujing (a male fish). It's been made into several TV series and movies. In one of those movie adaptations, Tang Sanzang even carried the pregnancy to term as he wasn't willing to terminate a life and saw this as an opportunity to experience the female side of life.

In the same story, Journey to the West, a rock was pregnant with Son Wukong and gave birth to him.

You have to remember this. Ancient Chinese didn't really think of pregnancy as a biological process requiring sperm and eggs like we do today. They thought of it as a concentration and condensation of qi (breath of the world) until the 'mother body' was saturated with fetal qi and gave birth.

Real-world folklore texts are chockful of such instances where things got pregnant with the breath of the world and gave birth. And that's just regular folklore, not the brought-up-to-eleven version that is xianxia.

[pathetichimbos]

First Meeting - Part Two

((part one here))

((part three here))

Thomas Hewitt/GN!Reader

taglist: @goodiesinthecloset21

---

You've run away from home, hitchhiking around Texas as you come up with your next plan, only to find that life has plans of its own when a simple ride with a group of friends lands you at a lone gas station in Travis County, drawn to a mysterious man most seem to avoid.

---

You let out a sigh as you exit the store, a bounce to your walk as you head in the opposite direction you came from, moving rather quickly in order to cover as much ground as possible before the dark of the night hits.

It doesn't take long before a large, familiar figure comes into view ahead, his pace much slower than your own.

Realizing your only options are to either ignore him and pass him, or slow down and accidentally look like a creep following him, you sigh and jog ahead, slowing down to match his pace as you catch up.

"Funny seeing you again," You catch him off guard, making him jump a little as he looks at you in surprise, "...Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you, I just saw we were headin' the same way and I thought I'd just say hi."

He sighs, seeming to relax a bit after your mini jump scare.

"So..." You start, realizing he wasn't going to reply, "...You live out this way?"

He nods.

"Seems quiet."

Another nod.

"Kind of like you." You give another smile, shrugging, "I was always told I could talk the ear off of a dead man."

He lets out a small, humored chuckle, and you feel yourself relax a little.

Conversation begins to flow easier as the two of you walk along, with you talking about the people you'd met and the places you'd seen in the last month and a half. The more you talk, the easier it becomes to see the good in your adventure, the ache of your empty stomach and sore muscles fading into the background as you retell your stories.

“Can't say I'd be able to find it again, but man, it was a really beautiful place. I'd love to go there again.”

Thomas nods, a genuine smile on his face from hearing the way you described the lake you had found last week.

You can feel the long grass reaching its way under your jeans, scratching at your ankles as the two of you walk side by side down a narrow dirt path you had absent-mindedly followed him down.

“Maybe I will go back...” You hum a little, hands resting in your back pockets, “Can't be that hard to find, right?”

He lets out a low hum of agreement as the two of you break the clearing in the trees and a large white house slowly comes into view.

“Whoa...” You mutter as the two of you reach the porch, “You live here?”

He nods.

“Wow…” You gaze at the house. It was old, sure, the white paint peeling off, the windows dusty and missing a couple of panels, but it was huge, and absolutely gorgeous.

The worn porch swing creaks as a summer breeze slowly pushes it, and you can distinguish the faint sound of animals echoing from the barn that sat a bit further back from the house.

You look at the overgrown property and sigh before smiling at Thomas, almost sadly as you realize it was time to leave.

“Well, I guess I should–” Your words are cut off by a deep, growling sound.

The Texas sun was no match for the heat in your face as you realized the noise was coming from your stomach.

Thomas tilts his head and you quickly look away, biting the inside of your cheek.

“I, uh–” Southern pride keeps your mouth shut as you stumble over your words, eyes boring holes in the dirt as you try to think of an excuse.

You're pulled from your own embarrassment as a strong hand grabs your arm, pulling you up the old wooden stairs and into the house.

It was just as big on the inside, greeting you with a large hallway that stretched to the other end of the house. To your immediate right was an opening to the spacious living room, and a little further down was a staircase leading to the second story.

You, however, were directed to the left, to a small table sitting in a rather big kitchen- though it didn't seem quite as big as the living room sitting across the hall.

“N-no, it’s no problem-!” You try to protest, but he doesn't hear a word of it as his firm grip gently nudges you into a chair.

You sit there, now quietly flustered as Thomas looks through the fridge.

“Tommy what the hell are you doing!?” A new voice suddenly came from beyond the kitchen, and the owner followed in.

It was an older man, wheelchair bound and missing the bottom half of his legs. He looks to Thomas, and then to you, a look of confusion and annoyance on his face as he does so.

“Who the hell is this?”

“I, uh, I’m Y/N…” You offer, knowing Thomas doesn't speak, “I met Thomas down at the station and walked with him.”

“Does Hoyt know about this?” The man ignores you as he continues looking at Thomas.

He finally turns around, a plate covered with tin foil in hand as he shakes his head to the other man.

“Ah, shit, Thomas. I ain't dealing with this. Don't try to say I didn't warn you.” He scoffs before turning back and leaving the kitchen.

You stare at the doorway he just left through, realizing that everyone you had seen so far in this town seemed to either know or be related to Thomas in one way or another.

Perched on the old kitchen wall was a picture of the older woman from the station, though she seemed a bit younger and less grumpy. The sheriff- Hoyt, you had remembered her calling his name- had called her Mama, and the man that had just left mentioned him as well.

You wondered if they had any other family filling the rooms of this large home, though right now it seemed quiet, save for the faint echoes of a TV playing from a room you hadn't seen yet.

Thomas pushes a plate in front of you, catching your attention as he grabs a fork and hands it to you as well.

“Thank you, but you really don’t have to–”

He cuts you off by tapping the table beside the plate.

You sigh, the clench of your empty stomach reminding you that you weren't going to gain anything by not eating it.

You pull back the tin foil to reveal a full meal, something you hadn’t seen in days. The food was piled up, and your mouth was practically watering at the sight. You take your first bite, the flavor exploding in your mouth and making your stomach growl again.

It had been so long since you'd had proper food, you didn't even mind that it was cold, simply excited to get something in your system.

You eat as much as you can, having to turn away over half of it after your shrunken stomach protests eating anymore.

Feeling more comfortable, you gave him a smile and thanked him again, “Did you cook that?”

He shook his head and pointed to a picture on the wall, the same picture of the station clerk that you noticed earlier.

“She's your mother?” You question, earning a nod in response.

You open your mouth to continue when a car door slams shut outside and an almost familiar voice calls out.

“Thomas!” The man screams from the front yard.

“Is that… The sheriff?” You ask, looking back to Thomas who was staring at the door, his face now grim and shoulders tense.

“Thomas, get your ass out here!” Hoyt hollers for him again.

Thomas stands from the table, another voice echoing in from the outside.

“No, no, please, let us go!” A woman screams, her voice blood curdling and scared.

You stand up as well, a worry in your voice, “Is that Katie?”

Thomas puts a hand on your shoulder and shakes his head, a warning.

More screaming comes from the front yard, the voices of the sheriff and Katie mixing together as they yell at each other.

Thomas tugs your arm, pulling you to the kitchen pantry. He motions for you to stay quiet before shutting the door, his fading footsteps leaving the kitchen.

You sit in the dark, heart racing as your mind tries to piece together what was happening.

The slam of the front door makes you jump as the sheriff yells again, his voice much louder and clearer as he had apparently come inside, “Goddamnit, boy, when I holler for you, that means you come!”

“Please, please, let me go, I won’t tell anyone, I swear to God…” Katie was sobbing, you could hear it in her voice and the way she hiccupped between her words.

“Here, Tommy, put her in the kitchen. We’ll let Momma deal with her when she gets home.”

Your body seems to move on its own as you crack the pantry door open, watching Thomas drag Katie across the kitchen floor.

Blood is soaking her clothes, leaving a mess trailing behind as Thomas ties her hands to the kitchen table.

He glances up, intense eyes staring you down as he shakes his head, a silent command to shut the door.

You do as you're told, hands covering your mouth as you start to hyperventilate, adrenaline rushing your system as you start to shake.

You can hear Thomas' heavy footsteps leave the room again over Katie's crying, the table scraping the floor as she futilely pulls against her restraints.

What the hell did you get yourself into?

Your mind starts racing as you try to contemplate your options.

You could stay hidden here, sure, but for how long? What if Thomas wasn't the next person to open the door, and what would you even do if it was?

Would you take the risk and bolt? Would he even let you?

Your breathing starts to become shaky and uneven as the fear takes over your mind. You shut your eyes and lean against the door, trying to ignore the sounds of the girl on the other side.

She was crying, still, asking no one in particular, “God, why me? Why us, God, why–” She cries out, sobbing violently as her sentence is cut off with a broken sob.

After a few minutes of this, the front door opens once again, and footsteps, too soft to be Thomas' or Hoyt’s, come in.

You peer out of the door again, watching as the older woman from the gas station steps into the kitchen.

Katie notices her as well, immediately crying out, begging for help.

You watch as she stops in front of her with a sigh, “Oh, dear. What has that Hoyt done now…?” She mutters before walking past her.

She doesn't notice you as she walks out of view and comes back with a bowl of water and a rag.

“I don’t know why he always has to be so messy.” She shakes her head, gently running the rag across Katie's face.

“Please, please, let me go, please…” Katie pleads with her, only for the woman to hush her, “Why are you doing this?”

“Well, we’ve got company coming over, and you don’t want to be all dirty, do you?” She coos slightly as she finishes washing her face, “There we go, that’s better, isn’t it?”

Katie sobs again, yanking at the ropes once more.

The woman ignores her, walking out of view once again, you assume to get rid of the bowl of water and now bloody rag.

You close the door again and sigh, pressing your forehead against the door as tears begin to slip down your cheeks.

What was going to happen to you?

You sit there in that pantry, silent and listening to Katie’s tears as you wait to find out.

You can hear the woman come back into the kitchen and begin making something, and eventually the whistling kettle hints at tea, or maybe even coffee. At some point another woman joined her and they both took a seat and began chit chatting.

You barely listen to their conversation, only picking up on the first woman’s name, Luda Mae. You didn’t catch the second woman’s name as they chatted casually, exchanging small talk about the weather and the tea. If it wasn’t for Katie’s crying, you’d assume nothing was out of the ordinary at all.

“Oh, here, let me go get you some from the pantry.” Luda Mae's voice pulls you from your thoughts as you listen to her shuffling footsteps come closer and closer.

Your heart stops and sinks all at once and you feel sick realizing what was about to happen.

You push yourself away from the door, holding your bag in front of you as if it could somehow keep you hidden, silently pressing yourself against the back shelves as you brace yourself.

The door handle starts to turn.

A feeling of complete helplessness settles in as the door swings open.

Your eyes screw shut as light floods the pantry, waiting for the worst possible outcome as you shake, holding your measly bag in front of you.

"Please..." You mutter, whether it be to her or to a God or yourself, you don't know, "Don't hurt me..."

[gojos-thot-patrol]

please could we get cuddling headcanons for gojo geto and nanami. seriously though i love your blog your one of my new favourite writers!

Oh reader, that is so sweet of you to say! Thank you so much Dear. and flattery will get you everywhere around here <3 that being said,

Now Presenting...

Starring: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, and Ryomen Sukuna (I had to cast him, I'm sorry!)

Satoru Gojo

His love language is physical touch, so you know this man is a massive cuddle bug! If you have the opportunity, you guys are cuddling.

This may be controversial but I stand by this next take: He is the little spoon. Like, He’ll be the big spoon, but he 100% prefers to be the little spoon

He’s a soft boy that just needs a hug ok? Protect him!

His favorite date nights are stay at home movie nights. Not because he likes movies, he does, but it’s not why. He’s excited to hold you close while you drift to sleep, the soft sounds of you snoring reminding him that there is beauty in the small moments of life.

I feel so bad for you guys in the summer, because it doesn’t matter to him how hot it is, he’s going to cuddle with you. You’re going to pass out tangled in his arms and wake up tangled in them. Who needs his giant California king, if he has it his way, y'all take up only enough space for a twin

He just wants to hold you while the two of you whisper about your future together. The colors of your wedding, how many kids the two of you wanted, where you’d move your family once it was all said and done.

It’s all fantasy, of course. The equivalent of making up the most dramatic scenarios to soothe yourself to sleep. But still, it gives him a fleeting sense of comfort. Late at night, when it’s just him and the sound of your steady heart-beat, it gives him hope that maybe, just maybe, one day he won’t just be playing domestic with you. He can actually be domestic with you.

Maybe that's why Gojo values cuddling so much. He’s intimacy starved and needs to create it in anyway, ya know?

Anyways, moral of the story is: Satoru loves cuddling, and I hope you do too!

 Sidenote: I just know this man gives the best hugs/cuddles. His arms are that long for a reason god damn it.

Suguru Geto

…..He’s not a big cuddler- HEY HEY, PUT AWAY THE PITCHFORKS, LET ME EXPLAIN-

He’s not a big cuddler! It’s hot, he doesn’t know where to put his limbs, and his arm always falls asleep. 

Which is why when you insist on cuddling with him and he's actually comfortable it’s kind of a big deal for him. (See? Put down your torches.)

He still doesn’t want to admit that he likes cuddling though. At this point it’s like, almost a pride thing. So he’s a sneaky cuddler. 

You’re watching Hulu on the couch when suddenly there's an arm around you. You go to sleep on separate sides of the bed but wake up tangled in his arms. You’re quietly reading on your front porch and suddenly his arms are wrapped around you, asking you about the book.

My point being, He never directly asks for cuddles, he just kinda cuddles you then reads your body language to see if he’s welcome or not, ya feel?

I will say, and yall should see this coming, the only time he’s openly receptive to cuddles is when he’s showing you new music. 

He’ll hold you close, playing with your fingers while the two of you discuss lyrical meanings and parts of the music you like. 

He’ll tap out the beat of the song on your thigh while he holds you what feels impossibly close, kissing the top of your head. You could feel the vibration in his chest as he hummed along to the melody. Music will always be how Suguru feels intimacy.

I really do always bring it back to music with him, don’t I?

Kento Nanami

Nanami honestly feels neutral about cuddling. If you want it, cool! If not, also cool. He doesn’t crave it the way Gojo does, but he also isn’t against it the way Geto is.

The exception being after a mission. Especially the missions that take him away from home. When he gets home from those, he’s dropping his bags on the floor then holding out his arms and making grabby hands.

Missions always suck for Nanami since he started dating you, because now he’s scared of death. Don’t get me wrong, beforehand he wasn’t suicidal or anything- he for sure wasn’t going to make stupid moves or put his life at risk. But death also didn’t scare him, it just came with the job.

But now you’re here. And he knows that if he dies, It’s going to destroy you. He can’t have that, so his already stressful job just got 10000 times more stressful, because literally every mission is a brush with death for a first grade sorcerer.

So when he gets home, The only thing he wants is to collapse on your shared bed, and hold the person he does all of this for. It’s the reward he gets for making it this far.

It’s quiet too. Nanami is not one to talk about his work, but you can tell how stressful it was by how long he insists on cuddling with you. Only an hour or two? Eh, probably not that big of a deal. But one time he literally held you until you both fell asleep and well into the next morning. Satoru let you know that Nanami actually almost died that night, and only survived thanks to Shoko being a healer. 

Nanami almost killed him for telling you. He never wants you to worry.

Also he’s definitely the big spoon. Look at him. Tell me I’m wrong.

He just takes comfort in your presence, knowing you’re there and you love him helps.

Someone give Nanami a hug for me, thank youuu

Ryomen Sukuna

Oh Ryomen, my boy. What are we going to do with you? You’re not a part of the request and you don’t fit it, but I have to force you into all things, don’t I?

As a heads up, Sukuna comes with a slight nsfw warning. It is suggestive.

Sukuna is not into cuddling. Really, he’s ambivalent at best, against at worst, any touch that doesn’t lead to sex.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t cuddle though. If you’re watching tv or going to bed and it's convenient, whatever. He won’t push you away. 

He’s not going to hide anything that pops up either if you get what I’m saying. He’s less of a ‘oh my bad’ type of guy and more of a ‘and what are you gonna do about it?’ kinda guy.

Now, all of that being said, I’ve said before that Sukuna lives in a domestic delusion with you in his head. So if you go too long without asking him to cuddle up with you, he gets angry about it. Like, what, is he not good enough to cuddle you now?! Get over here and accept his affection!

If that sounds confusing to you that's because yes. It is!

Really, the tragedy of Ryomen is that he craves intimacy and affection, but he can never bring himself to admit that because that would mean weakness and vulnerability. He wants you to recognize that he needs these things without him telling you. Like, of course he likes cuddling! He doesn’t kill you when you cuddle him, does that not make it obvious! It shouldn’t matter he’s told you he doesn’t like it!

God I feel so bad for all the Sukuna girlies out there.

Me, it’s me. I may be Gojos-Thot-Patrol, but I am 1000% Ryomens thot 🫀

Oh, as a final bit, his favorite part about cuddling with you is your warmth. You heard me. He’s always cold as a curse, and can’t really generate his own body heat. So yours is intoxicating. If he could spend eternity basking in your warmth, he would <3

[starlostastronaut]

DAY 01 | A COMPLETE MESS

PAIRING: han jisung x reader

GENRE: fluff, maybe a bit of angst? not really tho

WC: 0.94k

CW: nothing i think, felix featured for like two seconds

PROMPT: "falling for their best friend. stupid, i know. i mean, who does that?" "i did"

the first story is here! i don't even know what happened here but this was born at one am, so that should be self explanatory lol. enjoy reading <3

title from complete mess - 5 seconds of summer

general masterlist here

mctc masterlist | next >>

“I got this,” you said to yourself, pacing in front of the boys’ dorm. Today was the day you decided to finally do it - to finally confess to Jisung. It had been too long, and the pining was getting more and more useless with every passing day. You knew he would never love you back; otherwise, the other boys would have said something by now. You knew you were in for a rejection, but you were tired of hopelessly longing. And it was better for everybody to let yourself be officially rejected and move on.

Your hand reached for the door handle. Your fingers brushed against the cold metal, and you gripped the handle, taking a deep breath. “Nope, I don't get this,” you decided in a split second, suddenly panicking. You let go of the door and turned around, fully intending to march down the hall back to Seungmin to tell him you failed and maybe to cry a little. Seungmin gave good hugs, so you would be okay.

Unfortunately for you, at that moment the apartment door opened and Felix appeared in the hallway. “Hi! Coming to see Jisung?” He greeted you in English, giving you the signature Felix sunshine smile.

You could but dumbly nod. “Yeah, that's what I'm here for. I need to talk to him,” you ended up saying. You probably sounded too serious, because Felix's smile fell for a moment. He composed himself soon enough, though, linking his arm with yours and not giving you the chance to ponder his reaction. He led you inside almost ceremoniously, just like a king would his queen. Felix released you once you stood in front of Jisung's door.

“Well, I'm off to see Channie-hyung. Be nice to Sungie, please. It was hard for him to do,” Felix said, squeezing your shoulder gently as a form of goodbye. Then he rushed off in the direction you came from, leaving you to stand there utterly confused. 

What did Felix mean by “it was hard for him”? You haven't seen or heard from Jisung for the last two days. And as far as you knew, Stray Kids were on break before comeback season. And knowing Jisung, his plan on how to spend his breaks included exactly three activities: watching anime with Minho, hanging out with you, and occasionally working on some songs. And neither of those things has ever been "hard", so what the hell was Felix on about? 

Lost in your thoughts and theories, you somehow missed that the little blonde gremlin knocked on the door. So you got properly startled when it opened with a click and Jisung's head peaked out. “What are you doing here?” he asked, genuinely surprised.

“Oh, is it a bad time?” you asked anxiously, even the last bits of confidence and determination to confess crumbling down. “I can come back different-”

“No!” Jisung all but yelled. “I mean, no, stay. I actually want to talk about something,” he said, after making sure none of his members were coming to scold him for yelling. 

“Okay,” you smiled. “I wanted to talk to you too, so..." You left the sentence unfinished, letting Jisung take the lead. And he did. Jisung grabbed your arm and dragged you to his room without saying another word. Immediately after closing the door, he apologized, reasoning his behavior by not wanting the members who might be inside the dorm to know you're here. 

“So, can I-” you both said at the same time. Your eyes met, and the laugh both of you let out was nothing short of awkward. This was it, you thought. I'm going to tell him.

“You go first,” you encouraged him as he averted his gaze. You weren’t sure if you would still have the confidence after letting him speak first, but you would manage. It was better to let Jisung talk first; otherwise, he might get too nervous to speak. 

“Okay,” Jisung murmured. "I wanted to tell you, but I never found the courage to, until Felix bullied me into it this morning." He laughed, short and forcibly, to alleviate the heaviness of the situation. Jisung began pacing in front of his bed, not being brave enough to look you in the eyes. “So you know how I usually do a lot of stupid things? Well… I might have done the dumbest one yet. I kinda… accidentally... fell in love. With... with you, I mean. And it's super cliché, I know. I mean, falling for your best friend, who does that?” He chuckled, but it was very clear he's faking it. 

You stood there completely in shock. Did you hear that right? He actually loved you back. Your heart did a little happy dance at his words. So that was what Felix meant. He thought Jisung had already confessed, and that was why you came to the dorm. Which was when you remembered you still needed to tell him. Jisung was beginning to ramble, and that was never a good sign. You quickly reached for his hands, stopping him from fidgeting. “Jisung. Jisung, it's okay. I did that too.” You whispered the last part, but your words were still loud and clear for him. Jisung slowly looked up, finding your eyes. 

“I'm… I'm your best friend,” he said, so quietly that if it weren’t for your close proximity, you wouldn't have heard him. You smiled and nodded, confirming his suspicion. “Can I..." he asked. It was an invitation rather than a question, and despite leaving the statement open, you both knew what he meant.

“Yes,” you breathed out as his lips pressed to yours. 

taglist: @stayconnecteed @saintriots @vivioluh

©starlostastronaut 2023 | do not repost/translate my work without permission

[futbol16]

You Can Smile?  • Ona Batlle

I’ve really enjoyed writing this so I hope you like it too!

Request:  If you can, maybe a Ona x Reader. Reader is known as someone who is brutal on and off the pitch. This is due to rumors spread around by an ex. Maybe Reader has a few scars on her face and that makes her intimidating because that adds to a few factors like her height and athletic build. But in reality she is a big softy and Ona sees that when she sees R helping a fan after almost being crushed. After witnessing that encounter she observes R for the next few days and sees that R is actually a gentlewoman, holding doors, pulling out chairs, reaching things for people and packing training stuff away. Ona and Reader share a room after being moved around and slowly they get closer. Maybe in a game Ona gets tackled(badly) R gets angry and is just a powerhouse for the rest of the game. Maybe it ends with R being soft towards Ona in front of everyone in the locker room and carrying her to their own room and just hugging her(spooning) in bed with a confession and Ona having to ask R out on a date because R is too shy and can't get the words out. 🤷‍♀️ sorry for rambling. I just love your Ona fics!(:

Word count: 3,9k

Your transfer has been one of the biggest signings of the summer, Chelsea’s star midfielder who hasn’t renewed her contract and a bunch of European clubs wanting her. Everyone expected you to follow your national teammate, Georgia to Germany, but to the fan’s surprise, you chose Manchester. Although many hoped you’d stay true to your colors with the blue jersey, Man United’s welcome post made it clear you were now one of the reds. While some thought you made the wrong decision and should have stayed at Chelsea, the United fans and team welcomed you with open arms and you happily reunited England’s infamous trio. 

Alessia and Ella couldn’t have been more excited about the prospect of having you on their team and soon the rest of the girls were hyped about your arrival too. The two practically jumped on top of you on your first training session and though the pair of them told the rest of the team the rumors about you were false, they were still unconvinced.

You intrigued Ona, the second she saw you Ona knew she wanted to get to know you. However, that was easier said than done. Your departure from Chelsea was for many reasons, all minor in your opinion, but your relationship ending had been the last straw for you and you left your childhood club. The rumors your ex had spread, the not so subtle hinting at your short temper and unapproachable demeanor left your teammates and the Spaniard to believe that you were going to be cold and stoic. 

It was their first impression of you, even after you’ve been introduced to them and have been their teammate for weeks they still only saw that side of you, the rumored side.

Ona watched as you got handed a ball upon entering the pitch and you made your way over to Ella while kicking at the ball. She let her eyes roam over your body. Staring at your face and she let her gaze linger on the scar just below your right eyebrow, there was a similar one next to your chin on the curve of your jaw. It made your already impassive expression look even scarier.

“What’s up soldier?” Tooney’s voice breaks her out of her trance and Ona watches as you nod at the brunette in greeting before passing the ball to her. Again, she was lost as she observed you skillfully control the ball as you warmed up with Ella. Sooner than expected, she’s sent to line up as the game is about to start. 

You’re proud to say it only took you three matches to make the starting eleven and though you don’t show it with a smile, you make sure to give it your all during the game as a thank you to the fans supporting your team in the stands.

Another reason the United team thinks you’re cold is because of your playing style. You were not one to mess with, that’s it and everyone you ever faced knew this. You were brutal during matches, not afraid to get carded as you fought for the badge over your heart and cockily rubbing it into the opponent’s face when you scored. It was a sight to see, the passion you had for the game was one that many admired, Ona being one of them.

 She wouldn’t admit to watching you more than paying attention at practice though. 

Still, your chemistry with the team is undeniable. It’s as if you’ve been playing with them since day 1 and Manchester United seem like an unbeatable team now. 

Yet another ball passes the keeper’s gloves and you show off your signature celebration, no hint of a smile on your face as you silence the crowd.

“YES SOLDIER, YES!” Tooney’s shout is one that almost deafens you but Ona grins at the way your lips twitch upwards. It’s been months since your signing, yet she still wasn’t over just how good you were. You fit in perfectly and it made her even more motivated to not let the opponents close to goal. Truly, your team was one to fear.

Manchester derby is a game that everyone looks forward to, the blues against the reds, City against United. The rivalry is huge, the talent is there but what matters is the score line after those 90’ minutes.

Both teams come in strong but the Red Devils know the outcome of the match by half-time.

Mary is set on having a clean sheet, Ona and Millie are stopping players advancing any chance they get and Alessia, Ella and yourself are linking up in the best way possible up front. 

The crowd is wild at the close to sold out stadium when Man United win 3-1 and for the first time ever you flash a smile to the people, many of them screaming louder than before. 

Both teams decide to make their rounds around the stadium thanking their fans and you pair off with Maya and Ona as you sign autographs.

Ona’s struggling to sign a shirt and you move over to help her, stretching out the material to make it easier to write. She doesn’t know why but her cheeks are burning at the close proximity and she hides a smile.

“Thank you” she mutters out and you unknowingly smile down at her, a tiny smile but nonetheless an incredibly rare sight.

“OH MY GOD, SHE JUST SMILED!”

“Y/N! Y/N!” shouts of your name have you looking up, the smile gone from your face and Ona glances up at you as you straighten up. 

She takes notice of the furrow of your eyebrows and the way your eyes jump around the mass of people as if trying to spot someone. With a gentle hand on her shoulder, almost as if excusing yourself, you step aside and closer to the people. The Spaniard watches on curiously as you’re enveloped by too many people to count. 

“Aye! Back up a bit, will ya?” your strong voice rings out and you step up to the railing as you reach down on the other side. They don’t all listen though and you’re forced to nudge the people away. “Watch out!”

The short brunette has now walked over to you and her eyes widen as you pull a child out of the crowd, a little boy who looks close to tears. A harsh glare is sent to the man behind the kid who realizes his mistake of almost crushing the boy against the railing but before he could apologize you’ve already turned your attention back to the boy.

Ona peers over your shoulder, as much as she can and she listens to how your voice suddenly comes out in a soft, comforting tone. It even has her feeling at ease as you talk to the boy, making sure he’s okay.

“You wanna come with me buddy?” He looks to be around 8 years old but he enthusiastically nods at your words and you quickly check with his parents before placing him in your neck. Ona lets out a giggle as the boy jumps up and down as you carry him around and you turn to her at the sound of the sweet voice. 

“Your face is the same shade of red as your shirt” Millie snorts from next to her and Ona jumps at the sound.

“What do you mean?” she questions even though she knows the answer. Millie laughs at her fake confusion.

“I mean you’ve got the hots for soldier over there.” the blonde points after you and Ona slaps her hand away making sure no one saw. The defender raises an amused eyebrow at the action. “Just talk to her, she can’t be that scary. That kid seems to be having a whole lotta fun with her, so you know, maybe try” she shrugs.

“What? You want me to get on her shoulders?” Ona is beyond confused now and concerned for her friend who doubles over in laughter.

“Sure, if that’s like a kink of yours” Millie continues laughing on the ground as Ona only stares at her blankly, searching for the term of the unknown word but her eyes once again find your form and the dreamy look is back on her face.

She’s never seen you be so soft, so different from what the team was warned you’d be like. It wasn’t necessarily that they all believed the rumors spread about you, but they’ve truly only ever seen the ruthless and intimidating Y/N on the pitch and they didn’t know what you were like off it. The hurtful jabs at you from your ex at Chelsea didn’t help your case either, but this unexpected act of kindness and protectiveness from you had Ona shining a light on you. 

It opened her eyes and throughout the next few days she observed your behavior with the team.

She took notice of the way you’d make sure to greet every staff member in sight when arriving at the training grounds and how you would often help them carry equipment out for training and then stay after to clean up as you shared small talk with the coaching and assistant staff. Unlike any other time, you gave them genuine smiles, though still little, they were there nevertheless and she knew they were grateful for your help. 

She even noticed the lack of trouble Alessia now had with keeping herself upright. The English woman was known for her clumsiness and tripping over everything, mostly her own legs though. Since you’ve arrived the number of times she’d end up on the ground decreased and Ona is sure the blonde could only thank you for that. It was at one of the team lunches that she spotted your foot inching closer to the leg of Alessia’s chair before pushing it closer to the blonde who was standing. If it weren’t for you she would’ve missed her seat by a mile trying to sit back down.

All these little things had Ona realizing that you were far from what the rumors said about you, those rumors were indeed just rumors and totally wrong. 

She was now eager to properly get to know you and get closer to you.

It seems like God heard her wishes, or maybe it was just Marc because the next away game Manchester has the two of you get roomed together. 

“You can have the bed by the window if you want?” you look at the defender asking the question and you raise an eyebrow remembering that she liked to be closer to the window.

“Why? Don’t you want it?” she shrugs at you.

“Maybe, but if you want it then you can have it” you know your façade is breaking when you almost smile but you stick to jokingly rolling your eyes.

“Ona, you can have it, I’m good with the other one.” Even though the other bed looked to be a bit too close to the wall, no doubt whoever would be sleeping on it wouldn’t get much sleep with the way things were positioned, but you still thought it was a silly thing to be discussing. You’d much rather have Ona well rested and happy.

“Gracias” the Spanish slips out and she gives you a sheepish look, her cheeks pink.

The pair of you unknowingly form a routine the first few days before the friendly against Birkirkara. You get ready for the day together, pulling clothes on while making conversation, Ona waiting for you after practices, sometimes joining you and the staff in packing away and in the evening after a long day with the team you shower before her, ending the day with late night conversations. 

It made you wonder why you only just befriended the short defender, but you’re happy you’ve finally had the courage to talk to her. It wasn’t a very well known fact, probably only your England teammates knew about just how shy you could be, especially around pretty women.

The fourth day of the week soon arrives and your team is delighted by the number of fans supporting them despite the match being held far from England. Manchester United bring their best selves and by half-time the reds are up 6-0, yourself scoring a massive goal with a rabona kick. The game is one all of you enjoy and you fight off a smile when Ona gets another assist, and the team another goal. 

However, in the 84’th minute a rather mistimed tackle involving your favorite defender ends with her staying on the ground. You’re quick to get to her and with a gentle hand on her side you search for her gaze.

“You okay Ona?” she gives you a weak nod as she holds onto her thigh and as one of the medics gets to the two of you, you’re informed she strained her quad and would need to get subbed off. When the brunette attempts to limp off on her own you chase after her and allow her to lean most of her weight on you. One of her hands lands on your stomach and Ona stumbles over her feet as she feels your muscles flex under her palm. Her eyes widen as they stare at your jersey clad front and she tries to play it cool once she realizes she is caught staring. 

It isn’t only Millie and Vilde smirking at her, but also Maya, Ella and surprisingly yourself too. Though just before she could open her mouth to stutter out an excuse the two of you reach the sidelines and you leave her there with the medic, only after you’ve given her shoulder a quick squeeze. 

For the remaining six minutes of the match and added injury time Ona watches in amazement as you transform into a damn tank, practically bulldozing over the other team as you try to create as many chances as humanly possible. 3 more goals later the game ends in a 12-0 victory for the Red Devils and Marc is jumping up and down in ecstasy as he grabs you and Alessia in a bone crushing hug before he moves onto the rest of the girls. 

Your eyes are already set on Ona but just as you are about to make your way over a small hand tugs at your arm. You look down curiously at the Maltese mascot, giving her a gentle look when she smiles at you shyly.

“I can have your shirt?” you have to lean down to her level to hear her request muttered in broken English, but you nod at her, flashing her a big smile. She squeals in excitement, lips splitting in a wide grin as you pull your shirt off and hand it to her. She pushes a marker into your hand, yourself laughing at her enthusiasm as you sign the shirt and you send her on her way with a ruffle of her hair.

The smile stays on your face as you get to Ona and Ella doesn’t waste a second to comment on it. 

“Miss tough is showing happiness? Would you look at that” her teasing isn’t meant to be offensive, but you drop the smile in a way that has her baking away with raised hands. She buys your joke as she leaps onto Alessia and commands the blonde to escort her to the changing rooms. Finally, you reach the girl and check up on her.

“How is your leg?” Ona is completely deaf to anything you say as her eyes roam over your upper body, taking in your athletic build. Her stare lingers on your full shoulders and biceps, her mouth watering and she chokes on her saliva once she spots your abs. There’s an amused glint in your eyes and you glance back at Millie in question, but she’s doubled over and laughing loudly at the brunette in front of you. You shrug at their behaviors and instead bring Ona closer to you as you help her walk to the changing rooms. 

The Spanish girl’s whole body heats up as you help her out and eventually carry her to your shared room once you get to the hotel. She clings onto your shoulders with a tight grip that has you wondering if Lucia was right and Ona really is aroused by your muscular body. 

Much like the past few nights your routine is the same but as Ona hops out of the bathroom and gets under the sheets with a bit of struggle she turns to you expectantly.

“What?” you ask and she raises her head from her pillow.

“I wanna talk to you” she says like it’s the most obvious thing.

“I thought you would be too tired to talk” there’s a silly smile on her lips, one that has you swooning as she invites you to her bed.

“To you? Never” it is no secret that the two of you have become extremely close during the past week, the pair of you glued to each other's side, a rather unexpected friendship and you hope the defender hasn’t yet noticed your less than platonic feelings for her.

She shuffles over in the bed and pats the space next to her, urging you to climb under the blanket. Once you settle by her side you take a moment to just look at her. The soft glow of the lights from the street give her already beautiful face an even more angelic look and you melt under the warmth of her own gaze on you.

“Why do they call you soldier?” she breaks the silence, genuine confusion lacing her voice and you stifle a laugh.

“It’s my last name, the name on the back of my shirt.” you clarify and Ona hides her face in embarrassment as you laugh at her. “It’s Saldjer but it is pronounced soldier.” 

“It fits you.” she nods towards you and though she can’t see the massive grin on your face she can hear it in your voice. You’ve found yourself smiling a lot more in her presence and you got tired of trying to hide it, she made you feel giddy and you couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, so I’ve been told.” she thinks for a second, another second where you allow your eyes to wander over her freckle littered face.

“That doesn’t sound English though, I mean the spelling.” she points out, hoping to learn another interesting thing about you.

“It’s the Serbian way of spelling, at least that’s what my dad said.” 

“You’re half Serbian?” her ears perk up and you hum at her question, though soon she has trouble keeping her eyes open, the game from earlier and the scare of an injury taking its toll on her.

“Go to sleep, Onita, yeah?” just as you’re about to get up from her bed a hand reaches out to grasp your shirt, keeping you from standing up.

“Stay, Y/N, please” there’s no way you could say no to her, especially not with the way she says your name in that sleepy smooth voice of hers and you find yourself curling up by her side as you pull the blanket over the two of you.

 You listen to her breathing until once again her hand reaches behind her as she finds your arm she pulls it around herself, effectively forcing you to spoon her. Not to misunderstand the situation, you are not complaining one bit but you’re afraid she can feel your heart beating out of your chest that’s pressed to her back. You hope she’s already asleep. Ona smiles to herself.

“Why is your heart beating so fast?” your breath is caught in your throat as you think of how to answer her and you consider just waiting for her to fall asleep, she couldn’t be far from it. 

“Y/N?” she turns to you, suddenly the tiredness is gone from her body and you go to pull your arm away that still lays over her side but she grabs it, keeping it in place before you could do so.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you squeak out, cursing yourself for being so nervous. 

“Are you sure?” the teasing is clear in her voice, but she means no harm.

“Yes, Ona, like it’s like always like this” you rush out trying to convince her, your breath hitching when she slides a hand up your arm and squeezes at your bicep. “For example today during the game- wait that’s a stupid example- then on the bus -” a soft giggle cuts your sentence short and you exhale in embarrassment.

“You’re telling me your heart is always like this?” her palm is now laying flat on your chest, right above your heart and her eyes soften at the rapid beating. You really do care for her and it has her feeling butterflies in her stomach. 

“Mhm, like always” you quickly nod, only stopping the movement when Ona’s hand cups your cheek, her finger running over the small scar next to your chin, right on the curve of your jaw. You instinctively lean into the warm touch, your eyes fluttering closed for a second.

“So it’s not because of me?” the defender has no idea as to where her confidence is coming from but the adoring look in your eyes assure her of what she’s thinking.

“I-um..I-” you clench your jaw at your stuttering. You haven’t been like this in years, the last time was when asking out your ex and you definitely weren’t doing that right now so what was your problem. Ona’s thumb rubs gentle circles into the skin of your cheek and you release the breath you’ve been holding.

“Relax Y/N, there’s no reason for you to be nervous around me, I feel the same” your eyes widen comically and you’re about to deny the accusation but you’re too far gone. 

“Can I like- on a date? Ask you with me?” the words come out all jumbled and Ona giggles at your flustered state, this time you laugh with her feeling less embarrassed about the situation knowing that she feels the same.

“Let me try” she pokes at your shoulder in a teasing manner and you know you’ve got nothing to hide from Ona, this is the same girl you’ve spent quietly sharing your thoughts with every night before going to sleep this week, you don’t need to be scared of her reaction.

“Would you like to go on a date with me, Y/N? Maybe tomorrow?” 

“Yes, yeah I’d love to” you beam at her and she scoots closer to you. 

You think she’s only going to give you a kiss on the cheek in that real Spanish manner but as you feel her breath on your lips you know what she wants and you’re far less shy about this part. With a final glance in her warm brown eyes that you can just about make out in the dark room you finally close the distance between the two of you and you seal the deal with a soft, loving kiss. Once again you can not help but smile in her presence and as Ona smiles into the kiss too you’re forced to break away. 

The two of you are smiling at each other like two crazy teenagers in love but you like the way she makes you feel and you hold onto one another tightly as you both drift off to sleep, Ona snuggled in your arms. 

Perhaps you would start smiling more.

[softguarnere]

2 am

Joe Liebgott x reader

A/N: (this is written for the fictional depictions from the show - no disrespect to the real life veterans!) This fic idea has been banging around in my head for a solid year now, but for some reason I'm only just now writing it. Oops. The title comes from "2am" by Foals. Thanks for reading, and I hope that you enjoy! Warnings: alcohol, mentions of the Holocaust, language (one f-bomb and that's it)

For the middle of summer, the night air is cool against your warm cheeks when you stumble out of the hotel lobby, arms slung around the necks of your friends as the three of you lean into each other for support and guidance as you make your way to the curb. The three of you are still laughing at some joke that Luz made back inside when the cab pulls up.

“Here you go.” Careful not to lose his grip on you, Luz opens the back door of the cab and guides you towards the back seat.

You really should be getting back to your hotel, but you don’t want this night to end. And who would, after all the fun you’ve been having with your old friends? It’s nice to see them again, to catch up with them, like you’re finally getting to know them without the constant threat of German artillery fire looming over your heads.

“I’ll take the next one,” you protest.

This makes Babe laugh. “Nope. Drunkest person needs to get home first. We gotta make sure you get in the cab before you pass out.”

You fix your old friend with the best intimidating look that you can manage in your current condition. “You drank way more than me, Heffron.”

Babe chuckles. “But I can actually hold my liquor.”

Well, touché. You can’t argue with that one.

“Can you make it home okay?” Luz asks.

“I’ll be fine,” you promise. After all, you’re not nearly as drunk as they seem to think that you are . . . At least, you don’t think you are.

As if he can see your thought process, Luz laughs. “I’ll swing by tomorrow morning to make sure that you’re still alive.”

Your friends close the door of the cab then. Babe taps the glass of the window twice to signal to the driver that you’re ready to go. On cue, the car pulls forward, slowly pulling out of the hotel’s drive. Only when it nears the exit of the parking lot does your driver finally ask his question.

“Where to?” A voice with a familiar raspy quality wants to know.  

The sound is enough to make you freeze, your breath stuck in your throat. Maybe you are drunk. Yes, that must be it – the alcohol making you hear what you want to hear, using some wild manifestation of your subconscious desires. Because you haven’t heard that voice in years. You haven’t seen its owner in just as many. And you certainly didn’t expect to run into him here, of all places.

Your eyes jump to the rear-view mirror. A lump the size of a golf ball appears in your throat. Because even in the faded light of the late summer night, there can be no mistake as to who is staring back at you, waiting expectantly for your answer. Even after all these years, even though you can only see his eyes, you would recognize him anywhere.

“Joe?” Somehow, the words manage to push past the lump in your throat, echoing through the car in the silence that has fallen.

Click-click, click-click. The turn signal methodically keeps time, a metronome as your fellow paratrooper waits for a reply. Though you still haven’t said anything, he takes a right out of the parking lot and eases onto the road.

“Guy behind us was looking impatient,” he says by way of explanation.

It’s Joe Liebgott, you can tell. From the voice, the eyes, the way he tensed when you said his name. Would he have reacted that way if anyone else had said it? Or is it only because of you and the things that happened between the two of you so long ago?

The car is moving and you probably shouldn’t, but you can’t stop yourself from leaning forward, trying to get a better look at him. He’s so close – closer than you ever thought he would be – but he seems unreal and worlds away, like a dream that you can almost, but not quite, reach.

“Is it really you?” You whisper.

Joe sighs, a familiar sound. “Yeah, (Y/N). It’s me.”

“San Fransisco,” you remember aloud, some far away memory of some offhand comment that he once made to someone filtering into your memory. “You always said that you would come back here.”

He only nods. Your heart thuds in your chest. There’s so much to say, to ask, yet it feels like you’re running out of time for it all.

“And now you’re here,” Joe finally says. “With . . . them.”

It takes your brain a second to work out that he means Luz and Babe. Two of the many members of Easy Company who came to the reunion this year. Unlike some people.

“You didn’t come to the reunion.”

“No.” He makes a noise that might be a laugh. “Kind of defeats the purpose when you’re trying to leave the war behind you.”

Leave the war behind you. A slap in the face would have hurt less. Is that why he stopped calling you? Stopped answering your letters? You met during the war, during boot camp, and made it through the whole thing together – from Georgia to the Eagle’s Nest. You had been under the impression that you could make it back to the States . . . Well, at least now you know that Joe had different ideas.

“Then why are you here?” You ask. It’s a fair enough question; Easy Company reunions always generate a lot of attention. Joe happening to be outside of the hotel that was hosting this year’s reunion can’t be a coincidence, can it?

His silence is all the answer that you need.

“You showed up, but you didn’t come inside. Why?” Before he can answer, you add, “And don’t say the thing about leaving it all behind you again. I got that part, okay?”

You can hear Joe’s mouth shut with a click. You hadn’t meant to snap the last part at him. But seeing him here . . . All the anger, the sadness, anything you ever felt about or towards Joe Liebgott that you’ve spent years repressing is now rising to the surface.

“I think you know why,” Joe mutters.

No! You want to snap. No, I don’t understand how you could have left me hanging like that, after all that we went through together, all that we meant to each other.

“I – “ He clears his throat, shakes his head. “I was only hoping to see you. Just . . . I don’t know. I thought that would be enough, if I saw you. I never expected you to get into my cab.”

“And now I’m here.”

“Now you’re here.”

Thankfully the darkness of the night hides your faces from each other. In the solitude it provides, you can feel warmth bubbling and spilling over your eyelids, leaving glossy trails down your cheeks that shimmer gold in the passing streetlights. When it was clear that Joe was done with you, you had decided to leave him and your affections towards him behind. Clearly a part of you never quite let go. That much is clear to you now, as tears escape you without your permission.

Still driving, Joe glances up at the rear-view mirror, catching your eye. Your teary eyes. You can hear the frown in his voice.

“(Y/N)?”

“You left me behind,” you whisper.

For a moment, more silence. Then, “I know. And you know what? It was the stupidest decision that I ever made.”

Yes, it was. For a while, having loved him, having trusted him, felt like the stupidest decision that you ever made. It seems so terribly silly and childish to be sitting behind the man you once loved wholeheartedly – the man who broke your heart – and to wish for nothing more than for the two of you to go back to the way that you once were.

Second times the charm? Or should you follow a policy of “fool me once”?

“I want to go home,” you say. “Can you take me home? Please?”

Joe nods. “Where to?”

You give him the name of the hotel that you’re staying in. The cab fills with the rhythmic click-click, click-click of the blinker as Joe changes lanes, easing the car onto the exit and then navigating onto the quickest route like a master. There are several times when you hear him draw a breath as if to speak, but he never says anything. You keep quiet, allowing him the silence to concentrate on his driving.

Say something! Part of your brain – or is it your heart? – demands. You never expected to see him again, and now the chance is here. The destination is fast approaching, and then what will you do? If only you don’t squander it, this could be your chance to say all the things that have plagued you for years.

The cab slows as Joe sidles up to the hotel. Warm light from the lobby spills out the door and into the back of the cab, beckoning you into its safety. However, something stronger in the front of the cab keeps you firmly in place.

“I can’t sleep alone. Not again.” The words tumble out of your mouth before you’ve even had the chance to register them in your mind.

For the first time since you got into the cab, Joe turns to face you so that you can look at each other head-on. He frowns.

You rush on. “Do you remember Austria? After we liberated that camp, I never thought that I would sleep again. I only got rest because you were willing to flaunt the fraternization policy to come hold me, keep me safe.”

“I remember.”

“I think about that, sometimes,” you admit. You probably shouldn’t have told him that, given him that power over you. But who doesn’t regret the things they say at 2 a.m.?

Joe pushes a sigh, long and hard, through his nose. “Fuck.” He adjusts his position so that he’s leaning further back into the cab, closer to you. Through the darkness, you can see the conflict so clearly on his face, with his wrinkled brow, his frown. It’s so familiar.

“I’m sorry,” Joe says. “I really . . . I was stupid. You deserved better than that. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought that I was sparing you.”

“From what?”

“All my pain. My anger.”

“You don’t think I have that, too?”

Joe blinks, like the thought hadn’t occurred to him. When your boyfriend should have been helping you through those things, you had to rely on your old friends from the company instead. You would have helped him through his struggle, if he had only let you.

Then again, Joe Liebgott always had trouble asking for and admitting when he needed help.

“Park the car, Joe,” you say. “No, not here. In one of the parking spots.”

“Why?” Joe asks, even though he’s already pulling into a parking spot – he gets it perfect on the first try, effortlessly.

“Because,” you say. “You’re done driving for the night. You’re coming up to my hotel room and we’re finally going to talk.”

Joe kills the engine, but he doesn’t move from his seat. For a moment he stares at you, like he isn’t sure if this is real, or if he should. He must make up his mind because he nods, gets out of the car, and comes around to open your door for you. In the old days, he would have smirked at you, given you some pick-up line to hear you laugh. Now, he watches you with reserve.

Maybe this is a mistake. But if either of you really feels that what happened was a mistake, then there’s the possibility that it can be fixed, even after all these years. Not in one night, but it will be a start. Tonight, you can do something for Joe that people so often forget that he needs – show him some understanding, some compassion. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll be able to reignite the light that once existed between you again.

[brokebonewritings]

All My Battles

Matt Murdock x Reader

Tags: 18+, fluff, slight hurt/comfort, making a home

Summary: A trip back to Bar Harbor creates a summer a new memories as you and Matt renovate your childhood home into a place to spend your future summers. Song: Lover, You Should've Come Over by Jeff Buckley

Word Count: 3K

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“Don’t worry! We will make sure both your apartments are safe and sound!”

“And we promise no major ragers while you’re away!” Foggy quickly said after Karen’s initial reassurance.

“Ha Ha, You’re hilarious.” You say with a deadpan expression.

Both you and Matt were packing for the summer to go up to your childhood home and fill it with your own furniture. Thanks to your wonderful team of attorneys, you were able to expedite the paperwork of signing the house over to your name.

It was a long battle, but your mom was out of the house at the beginning of the summer. Though it didn't come without a fight. She was very slow at moving the process along until you finally sent Foggy up to Maine with eviction papers.

"I just can't believe it's finally over!" You sigh as you close the trunk of your car.

"I'll drink to that, serving your mom that eviction notice was the best theatrics I've seen in a while, and Marci took me to see Phantom of the Opera last week!"

All three of you laugh, as you wait to finish locking up his apartment. You see him step onto the sidewalk and make his way towards the group.

"Okay, ready to go?" He asks.

"Yep, I just closed the trunk so we're all good here."

Karen is the first to step forward and give you both a big hug. Foggy being the last and stepping away with tears in his eyes.

"Don't you forget about us here in the Big Apple." He says tearfully.

"I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow." You respond playfully.

The man wipes his metaphorical tears, and turns to Karen. "She thinks I'm a Scarecrow."

"Yeah, probably the lack of brains." She snarks.

"Hey!"

This earns another group laugh, as you and Matt get into the car. It was going to be a long summer, but it would be worth it. You get to redecorate your family home, even though you thought the previous decoration was perfect. Your mom took most of the furniture when she moved.

As the car pulls out of the city, leaving behind the familiar hustle and bustle, a sense of sadness fills you. "So, any ideas on what we should do with the place?" you asked, eager to hear his thoughts.

"You're asking the blindman for decoration advice?" He smirks, which pulls a giggle from your chest. 

"Well this is gonna be our summer home, so I just want to get an opinion of someone who will be spending every year there."

Matt paused for a moment, his fingers tapping rhythmically on his knee as he contemplated. "Well," he began, "I think we should start by repainting the walls. I know your favorite color is orange."

"You remembered my favorite color?" 

"Of course, maybe a soft shade of blue to give it a more serene atmosphere."

You nodded, imagining how the color would transform the space. "And what about the furniture? I know we'll have to buy new pieces, but do you have any specific style in mind?"

"God, just anything without plastic wrap on it." He laughs.

You laugh along with him. "You really hated sitting on that couch."

"It was an overstimulation nightmare."

"Yeah, well, no more plastic-wrapped nightmares," you reply with a grin. "We'll find something comfortable and stylish."

As the two of you continue to discuss ideas for the house, you feel the excitement building up inside you. This summer was going to be a fresh start, not just in terms of your living situation but also in your relationship with Matt. It had been a long journey to get to this point, but now that you were finally together, everything felt right.

The landscape outside transforms from towering skyscrapers to vast green fields and rolling hills. It's as if the world itself is mirroring the sense of calm and new beginnings you feel in your heart.

With the passing hours, you make sure to stop frequently so that you both stretch your legs. Soon enough you enter the Bar Harbor limits and begin to recognize your surroundings. 

As you approach your childhood home, memories flood back — running through the fields, chasing fireflies on warm summer nights, and sitting on the front porch with your dad and a big cup of iced tea.

The familiar sight of the white picket fence and the old oak tree in the front yard is a relief to see. It hasn't changed much since you were last here, except for the overgrown grass and faded paint on the house. But that's all about to change.

You and Matt step out of the car, taking a moment to breathe in the crisp sea air. The scent of wildflowers and fresh pine brings a smile to your face. This place holds so many precious memories, and now it's time to make new ones.

"I can't believe we're finally here," you say, your voice filled with wonder.

Matt reaches out to take your hand, his touch grounding you in this moment. "Ready to get to work?" He asks and you reply with a soft 'yes'.

Together, you approach the front door, pulling out the key and inserting it into the lock. The door creaks open as you step inside, dust particles dancing in the sunlight streaming through the large bay windows.

As you make your way from room to room, deciding on furniture layouts and discussing which pieces to buy, the house starts to feel like home. Matt's fingers glide over the surfaces as he senses the textures and dimensions, his uncanny ability to visualize the space turning into an invaluable asset.

The next day you and Matt set to work immediately, armed with paintbrushes and a vision for transforming the old house into your dream summer retreat. The walls soon shed their faded colors and come alive with the soft shade of orange you chose. The air is filled with the scent of fresh paint, invigorating and promising.

Days turn into weeks as you tackle each room with determination. The living room is filled with cozy furniture, perfect for curling up together with a book or watching movies on lazy afternoons. The kitchen becomes a vibrant space, adorned with colorful tiles and filled with the aroma of delicious meals being cooked. And the bedrooms become sanctuaries, personalized with photographs and cherished little touches.

As the final touches are being made, you and Matt stand back to admire your handiwork. The transformation is remarkable, a testament to the love and care you poured into this project. The summer home now radiates warmth and comfort, a haven from the outside world.

You begin to cry as you both stand in the middle of the parlor. Matt's arms wrap around your waist as he pulls you into a tight hug. It was all finally done, and you couldn't feel the overwhelming sense of sadness. The very same you felt as you left the city.

"It's alright, sweetheart. I got you." He whispers as you continue to sob.

You hold onto Matt, feeling his steady presence anchoring you amidst the waves of emotion. The tears flow freely, a mixture of relief, joy, and a bittersweet longing for the old memories that haunted these walls. You couldn't wait to bring your friends and family here in the future summers, and make new memories that were happier than the old.

After a while, the tears subside, and you sniffle, wiping away your damp cheeks with the back of your hand. "I'm sorry," you murmur against his chest.

He pulls back slightly, his hands cupping your face gently. "There's nothing to apologize for," he says softly. 

You nod, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. "You're right." You pause, feeling a surge of love radiating from the man in front of you.

"We made it," he says softly, his voice filled with reassurance. "We turned this house into our own little sanctuary."

"I love you," you whisper, burying your face in Matt's chest.

He holds you tighter, his heartbeat reverberating through your body. "I love you too," he replies.

That night you decide to have a picnic on the porch. You turn on the fairy lights, and set the radio to the local classic rock station. As you set up outside, Matt was in the kitchen preparing the meal you both were going to enjoy. Everything was perfect.

As twilight settles in, casting a soft golden glow over the porch, you light a few candles and spread out a cozy blanket. The scent of freshly cut grass mingles with the aroma of the meal Matt has prepared, creating an intoxicating symphony for your senses.

After dinner, you both clean and decide to stay outside for the rest of the evening and bask in the romantic setting you had set up. He notes that he forgot to bring the best part of dinner and runs back inside to grab dessert.

Matt emerges from the kitchen, carrying a basket filled with delicious treats. He carefully sets the basket down and joins you on the blanket, wrapping his arm around you.

"This is amazing," he whispers, his voice filled with awe.

You lean into him, feeling the warmth of his presence enveloping you. "I wanted to create this special moment for us," you say softly, your gaze fixed on the flickering lights.

The two of you spend the evening laughing and reminiscing, savoring each bite of food and each tender moment shared. As the night deepens, you find yourselves lost in conversation under a sky sprinkled with constellations.

Matt's fingers trace patterns on your arm, creating a soothing rhythm that matches the cadence of your conversation. You pause for a moment, overcome by a wave of gratitude. Gratitude for this beautiful night, for the love that fills your heart, and for the journey that has brought you here. You lean in closer to Matt, resting your head on his shoulder.

"I never imagined we would be here," you say softly, your voice filled with wonder. "Creating a home together, filled with love and happiness."

Matt squeezes your hand gently. "Life has a funny way of surprising us," he replies, his voice laced with sincerity. "And I'm grateful for every twist and turn that led us here."

As the hours pass, you find yourselves lost in conversation, delving into topics ranging from childhood dreams to future aspirations. Each word exchanged deepens your connection, solidifying the bond you've built over the years.

Eventually, the conversation mellows into comfortable silence, yet the electricity in the air remains tangible. You nestle closer to each other under the blanket, feeling the warmth of his body seep into yours. With every passing second, it becomes clearer that this is where you're meant to be.

You look up at Matt, gently grabbing his chin and pulling him in for a kiss. As your lips meet, a surge of warmth courses through your veins. The kiss is gentle yet filled with a quiet intensity, a beautiful reflection of the bond you share. Time seems to stand still as you savor the taste of his lips, the feeling of his arms wrapped around you.

When the kiss deepens, you feel a sense of belonging and contentment settle within you. Under the soft glow of the moon, you and Matt continue to share sweet, lingering kisses, each one filled with an unspoken promise.

Eventually you both feel the exhaustion from the long work day, and decide to head inside for the night. Matt is the first one to head inside and as you pick up the blanket and turn off the lights on the porch. 

You linger long enough for Matt to come back out and wrap his arms around your waist and kiss your neck lightly. "We have a lifetime of moments like this ahead of us," he says softly. "Come inside now."

Nodding, you follow him back inside for the night. Inside, the house is bathed in a soft, inviting glow. The scent of freshly painted walls lingers in the air, a gentle reminder of the transformation you both undertook together.

Matt leads you upstairs to the bedroom, where the moonlight spills through the open curtains, casting ethereal shadows on the hardwood floor. He pulls back the covers and invites you to slide into bed. You nestle against the plush pillows and feel the weight of the day slowly melt away.

As Matt joins you under the covers, he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. His touch is gentle yet possessive, a silent affirmation of his love for you. The room feels hushed, as if it holds its breath in reverence for the intimacy shared between two souls.

You close your eyes, letting the tranquility of the moment wash over you. The sound of your steady breaths fills the room, creating a soothing rhythm that lulls you closer to sleep.

The day before you leave is filled with eventful commotion as you invite some of your neighbors over for a small barbecue. You and Matt spend the morning setting up the backyard, draping string lights across the trees and arranging tables and chairs.

The aroma of grilled burgers and vegetables fills the air as the food sizzles on the barbecue. You decided to man the grill to give Matt a break from all the cooking he insisted on doing. The neighbors arrive one by one, carrying dishes to share. Laughter and conversation fill the backyard as everyone gathers around, sharing stories and exchanging smiles.

Another car begins to pull into your driveway, and you realize who it is before you see the two figures step out of the vehicle.

"No fucking way" You say as you turn to Matt who has a huge smile spread across his face.

"I called them last night when you went out to pick up dinner." He replies.

You start sprinting towards the car as Foggy steps out and walks around the car. Once he sees you running, he mutters an 'Oh shit' as you jump into his arms. He catches you and spins you a bit before setting you down. You give a gentler hug to Karen.

"I can't believe you guys drove all the way out here!" You say happily.

"We had to come see this house! Especially if we're invited here every summer." Karen says while lightly nudging your side.

Leading your friends to the picnic area, you introduce them to your neighbors and some old friends from high school. The backyard is filled with the joyful chatter of voices, as everyone embraces the sense of community and love that permeates the atmosphere.

As night falls and everyone leaves, the four of you gather around a crackling bonfire, its dancing flames illuminating the faces around you. Matt sits beside you, his hand entwined with yours, as you listen to Foggy telling one of his infamous stories. You all add in little quips to enhance the story as everyone listens and drinks.

The crackling sound of the flames blends with the soft hum of laughter, creating a harmonious symphony of friendship and love. As you look around at the faces illuminated by the fire's glow, you can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude.

Gratitude for the unwavering support of your friends, who have stood by you through thick and thin. Gratitude for this beautiful home that has become a haven, a place of solace and happiness. And most of all, gratitude for the love that surrounds you, weaving its way through every moment shared.

As the night wears on and the fire begins to die down, you find yourself lost in a comfortable silence. The embers glow softly, casting a warm light that dances across your friends' faces. Karen leans her head on Foggy's shoulder, while Matt rests his chin on top of your head.

"What a great night, amongst friends." Foggy sighs.

"I'm really glad you guys came out here to see the house." You begin. "It's like this house was built for our family."

"You wouldn't have this house if it weren't for your dad." Matt reminds and you nod in agreement.

"To Tommy!" Foggy says while raising his beer can.

You smile as the rest of you raise your drinks and cheers to your dad. A tear rolls down your cheek, but Matt wipes it away before it's able to fall from your face.

"You know," Karen says, breaking the silence, "your dad would be so proud of you right now. Look at what you've built, what you've overcome. It's truly amazing."

The moment is bittersweet, as the memory of your father tugs at your heart. It's been years since he passed away, but the house stands as a testament to his hard work and love for his family, a symbol of the legacy he left behind.

As the night winds down, you and your friends gather up the empty beer cans and remnants of the barbecue feast. The fire has dwindled to mere embers, casting a soft glow upon the yard. 

With a final round of goodnights, Foggy and Karen retreat to their respective rooms. You and Matt finish cleaning in the kitchen and make sure everything is put away before you all leave in the morning.

As you climb into bed, exhaustion weighs heavily on your eyelids. Matt wraps his arms around you, pulling you close and pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. The warmth of his embrace soothes you, easing away the worries and stresses of the day.

"Thank you for everything," you whisper, your voice barely audible.

He tightens his hold on you, his voice filled with affection. "I would do anything for you. You know that."

With a final sigh, you surrender to the gentle embrace of slumber, knowing that tomorrow will bring new adventures and challenges. But for now, in this haven of love and sanctuary, you find solace.

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[hannahssimblr]

In the evening we bike to the shop to buy firelighters. Jen says she likes the idea of a bonfire while we eat our barbeque food, even though the only time one has even been lit at the beach house is when my dad did it, all the while ranting on about how he learned everything he knew about fire in the boy scouts, and how if I had an iota of discipline or self control I might have benefitted from them before the local pack expelled me for being a shithead.

He was right. I reluctantly accept it as Jen and I approach the materials for making fire. Nobody has ever told me about the difference between briquettes and coal, what firelighters actually look like and exactly where peat plays into all of this. I know nothing about how to do manly things, and only ever figured out how to pitch a tent after subtly watching Shane do it the first time he and I went camping in the woods. 

In contrast, my father has shot an actual gun. He and his brothers hunted deer, game and wild pigs in the hills around their family farmhouse in Redding California. As they loaded up their rifles and zipped up their jackets they would say things to me about how I’d be coming with them someday, as though was some sort of honour, something to strive for, but by the time I was big enough to kill pheasants I was already five thousand miles away drawing comics on printer paper. My soft hands were meant for art.

“You grab the firelighters,” I tell Jen, and take a swerve towards the magazine stand so that I can peruse something in my comfort zone. There’s a small selection of artsy magazines, and I flip one open. 

“Um, do you think we should buy gasoline or something?” She stands chewing on her lip. 

“Probably not, right? That seems dangerous.”

“Should we ask someone?” 

“What? No.” Embarrassing.

I pretend to be engrossed in an article so that I don’t have to help, but while I'm there, an ad catches my eye, “Hey,” I call out to Jen, “would you want to go to an exhibition this weekend?”

“What kind?”

“Art.”

“Yeah, what kind?”

I turn the page to her so that she can see it, “contemporary,” and her eyes narrow at the images of weird sculptures made of bits of scrap metal, canvases with random splatters of paint dripping off the bottom, colour bleeding onto the floor.

“Hm. See, that’s the kind of weird art I don’t get.”

“It’s not about the art specifically, it’s about us doing something fun together.”

“And that’s in Dublin?”

“Yes.”

She smirks in a self satisfied way, “You’re bored,” she stops a passing customer to ask him if he knows what firelighters are, and if so, what does the box look like.

He shows her, and while she’s picking up the last two packets I come to stand with her, not helping, because now I'm more interested in selling this new idea to her. “It’ll be fun! How nice would it be to have a change of scenery? Get back to the city where stuff is actually happening, maybe go to that ice cream place you like.”

I’m certain this will sway her, but she pulls a face, “There’s loads of ice cream here, and the only reason you think nothing is happening on the beach is because you’re deliberately not doing anything.”

“Is it so bad that I want to have a day out with you?”

“No, I suppose not, but...” She wrinkles her nose “Fine. I don't want to be cynical. Do you think I’m cynical?”

“Yeah a bit.” I pay for the firelighters. As we exit the shop into the lingering light of the evening I admit to her, “I’m trying to cheer myself up, I just think I should make the most of the time I have left.”

She laughs, “It sounds like you’re terminally ill. You’re moving. So what? I’ll still talk to you all the time.”

“Yeah but I really want to savour these last few weeks. Will you come to the gallery?” I grip her arm and pretend to die, letting my knees buckle under me to really sell it, “...before it’s too late?”

“God, yes, fucking hell,” she groans, “I’ll come. I’ll do whatever you want for the rest of the summer, right?”

I throw an arm around her, “Thanks Jen.”

“Yeah, manipulator.”

“Takes one to know one,” I say cheerily, and we unlock our bikes and head towards home.

Beginning // Prev // Next

[heuhuewaves]

i'm a fiend, and you're all i need

billy hargrove x steve harrington summary: the tremendous lows and bittersweet feelings of billy and steve's senior year content warnings: violence, smut, death word count: 1k this was heavily inspired by @ickypuppi3 's harringrove oneshot! please check it here out im obsessed!

Billy ends up moving to Hawkins around the summer of 85’. At that point he hated Neil for not letting him stay in California. What did the divorce have to do with him anyway? In any world Billy would have rather stayed with his mother.

3 months later, school started. Same shit, different town.  He only had to last nine months before he got his diploma and escaped back to San Diego. That was until he met him.

Steve wasn’t hard to miss. The entirety of Hawkins High basically worshiped the ground he walked on. If you didn’t wanna be Steve, you definitely wanted to be with him. None of this phased Billy though.

Basketball season came and with it Billy made the team. He played basketball back in California so making the team was a no brainer for him. Steve wasn’t fond of the new addition. It wasn’t long before the boys on the team began to hop on Steve’s case.

“Looks like King Steve has some competition.”

“Hargrove might have you beat Steve.”

Bullshit.

Steve wasn’t gonna let anybody see him as a pushover. Who the fuck was Billy to him anyway? Certainly not someone who was gonna come in and try to make him look like a bitch.

The next day they exchanged currency in the form of fists. Steve added a dark color to Billy’s right eye and earned himself a shade of crimson running down the bottom of his face. Courtesy of his nose.

A month and a half later, Steve was giving Billy a blowjob in the locker room showers after everyone left. It didn’t really make sense to Steve or Billy. Neither of them had been with another guy before

So how did it feel so good to steve? 

A few weeks later, Billy repaid the favor by pounding Steve into the mattress. Of course nothing could prepare Steve for the pure girth of Billy’s cock. He only had experience with his fingers. Neither of them were entirely sober either. 

A month or so passed with no contact. Steve was avoiding Hargrove like the plague. As if he wasn’t the one who wasn’t breaking him in the month before. Billy is all for confrontation so that’s exactly what he did. 

After practice is when he went for it. Of course they were the only 2 left in the locker room at the time. When weren’t they at this point?

“You’ve been ignoring me, why?” Was all Billy asked.

Steve slammed his locker shut. The blonde immediately got the vibe that he didn’t wanna talk about this at all. Especially not where they were at. 

“You should already know Billy.” Steve responded.

“No, I want you to tell me.” Billy demanded as he got closer to the brunette. At this point Steve was clenching his fists. This just wasn’t who he was. He wasn’t somebody who did that type of thing with other guys.

“We both know this isn’t right. We aren’t supposed to do this-” Steve paused as he saw the expression on the other boy’s face change. It was a look that was telling him to say what he actually wanted to say. “We aren’t supposed to fuck. I’m not a faggot. Maybe you should leave me alone and stop trying to be one.” 

That’s all it took for Billy to lay a punch that landed directly on the right side of Steve’s face. He could’ve kept going and he really wanted to. But there was no point. No amount of pouches would change the fact that Steve was right. They could never do what they really wanted to do. Especially not in the shithole of Indiana. 

So Billy left Steve there, rubbing his cheek in irritation as he grabbed his bag and left the gym.

The rest of senior year went as uneventful as the months before their confrontation had gone. Neither of the boys interacted with each other. The rest of basketball season went on with awkward glances and brief conversations about what play they were about to do during the game.

Then after that went, nothing. Radio silence and more awkward glances in passing. Many nights Billy would dream of a different reality where this was all fake. He was still in California and found a man who wasn’t ashamed of him. Somebody who wasn’t hesitant to be with him and didn’t care what other people thought.

All those recurring dreams only encouraged Billy to get out of Hawkins faster. 

7 months had gone by with no contact. Graduation came and went, where everyone went their separate ways. Steve couldn’t have predicted that he would have been fighting a monster in the mall where he worked at. Or that Billy would’ve been possessed by said monster. 

Everybody dies. Steve knew that. He just didn’t expect Billy’s death to tear him to pieces.

6 more months passed and Steve had gained a habit of visiting Billy’s grave. He brought fresh flowers every time he went. Steve liked to think that Billy was hearing him every time he sat at his grave and spoke to him. Confessing things he’d never told anybody else, reminiscing on the ‘what ifs’ , and telling him his future plans. 

Without Billy, Steve couldn’t think of a purpose for him to be Hawkins anymore. 

From that day forward he swore to himself that he would pack his shit and settle down in California. That was the only remnant of Billy he had left.

The Beginning of the following year was the last time Steve spoke to Billy’s grave.

“You remind me of the waves dude.” Steve said as he placed a bouquet of roses by the headstone. “I promise I’ll spend as much time on the beach as I can so you don’t ever feel lonely.” 

Steve planted a kiss on the headstone before treading through the melting snow and back to his car, where he drove off with California dreams.

[hugmeimtouchdeprived]

Ghost! Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x fem!reader - Chapter 2

Chapter 2!!! I'm busy with school and assignments and looking for a summer job and starting my final thesis, but I write when I have time and energy to do so😊

Let's ignore the fact that I posted this a few hours ago, but deleted it because I came up with something that I really wanted to change so I'm posting it again now

Content warning: Talk of possible stalking and breaking in (not really what's happening, but it's mentioned?), mention of blood.

Original drabble | Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

“Come on, what else could it be?”

“I’m not being haunted, Donna,” you groan, rubbing the bridge of your nose between two fingers. You glance around the small café, fairly empty of other patrons at this time of the day. The two of you sit next to the large windows, watching as people walk and drive by. It’s a weekday, middle of the day, so most people are likely still at school or work.

Donna is an old family friend. Used to be your neighbour when you were a kid and would often babysit you if your parents couldn’t find another babysitter. The two of you grew close until she got married and moved to the states briefly, before returning with her wife. It’s rare the two of you get time to see each other, but it’s always nice when you do.

You swear she hasn’t changed a bit since you were a kid. She’s in her early 50s, you’d guess, and still just as full of energy as she was all those years ago. Her wife is a bit of a mystery to you, but you know she travels a lot for work.

And that Donna loves her more than anything.

“What else could it be?” Donna repeats for the hundredth time. “You’re being followed by something; we both know it,” she insists. Donna has always been fairly enthusiastic, or at least interested in, the afterlife and ghosts and whatnot. You, not so much. Sure, it is intriguing, what happens after death and all the different views on the subject, if ghosts and spirits exist. Intriguing, but not very believable in your mind.

“You know, there was that terrorist attack in that tunnel a few months ago. A lot of people died there, I heard there was a soldier that passed, too,” she continues, her tone more serious now.

Donna always seems to know things. Sure, the attack, its casualties, have been public knowledge, at least some part of it. But Donna always seems to have more information than even the news do. You always joke she must have someone on the inside of all these things. “Something like that,” she’d respond.

You told her about everything as a joke, to try and ease your own nerves. She ended up taking it way more seriously than you would have anticipated. Maybe you should have predicted that, in hindsight, but at least she doesn’t seem to think you’ve lost your mind.

And sure, you promised yourself you wouldn’t talk about it to anyone, that you’d just go on with your merry life and ignore it, assume it’s a figment of your imagination. But you trust Donna, you wouldn’t be surprised if she knows you better than your parents do. Probably better than you do, if you’re being honest. And things really are getting out of hand with your ghostly friend. Roommate, squatter, stalker, whatever. You’re not sure what to call him, but it’s all too real to really keep ignoring it.

He’s in your goddamn home, your sanctuary, your safe space. Where you haven’t yet allowed even some of your friends to visit, you’re not sure if your coworkers even really know where you live. And this- this thing has invaded it, made himself right at home. Begging, yelling at him to leave you alone, to leave your home at once. The train station and the bookstore were manageable, at least. This? No. No way. This is your home, your apartment. It’s yours! You live alone and you quite like that, thank you very much.

You swear you see the shadow shake and shift, as if trying to hold in his laughter. He does seem to give you more space after that, though; instead of standing right next to or behind you, he stands in doorways, corners of rooms. That’s something, you guess.

And that’s the other thing. He’s so human, you often mistake him for an actual person standing in the corner of your room. It’s like having an extra clingy roommate, following you around the apartment. At least you can shower and change your clothes in peace. (That’s what you think. He’s not snooping or being creepy, of course not! He’s just lonely, needs the comfort of being with someone.)

It’s almost freaky how used to it you’ve gotten. It has been, what, a few months? You know by now that he, whoever he is, isn’t going to be leaving anytime soon.

The shadow in the corner of your eye no longer freaks you out nearly as much. You still don’t know who he is, or was, why he’s here and with you of all people, but you accept it. Not that you’d have a choice in the matter, anyway.

You watch movies with him. You see him next to you on your couch, almost feel his weight on the cushions, as if sitting next to a real, living person. Somehow, you can just tell when you’ve picked something he likes. The air around you feels different, more relaxed. He looks like he’s leaning forward in his seat, sitting on the edge of the couch when the movie gets exciting or interesting. You hear him laugh, not even the airy sound it was before, but an almost proper one.

He audibly groans if you pick something he doesn’t like. Might even throw a pillow on the floor or keeps turning the tv off. You’ll either scold him and keep attempting to turn it back on until he gets bored and gives up, or you’ll give up first and put on something he might like more. Problem is, you’re both stubborn beings, and might “argue” over the movie for a long time.

During horror movies you find yourself leaning towards him, looking for that feeling of safety he provides. It always takes you a moment to realize you can’t curl into his side, with his arm around you, like you would if he was physically there.

As more time goes by, you see more of him. He becomes more refined, quite literally. Going from a shadow in the corner of your eye, disappearing the moment you try to look at it, to what you’re sure is a human man. You can’t exactly see the details of his features, his face, but there are some things that are certain.

He's tall. Taller than you, at least. Muscular, too, by the looks of it, and wearing some sort of gear. Military, maybe? Donna did mention hearing of some soldier who died in those tunnels some months ago. Or maybe you’re being haunted by some terrorist who has taken a liking to you. You sincerely hope it’s the first one, though.

And then there’s the very obvious gunshot wound to his temple, oozing blood down the side of his face and neck. It drips down his chin and vanishes before hitting the floor. It’s more visible in darkness, or in the light of the moon and stars. You do your best to ignore it, there’ll be time to ask about it later. Surely not a subject he’d be very open to discuss or reminisce over.

At some point, it starts to feel nice to have some company over, even if it means you get little to no privacy. His presence makes you feel safer, in a way. You’re not sure if he could do much if someone was to break into your apartment or harass you at work or while running errands, or if he even would do anything to help you, but it still feels almost like having a guard dog. A dog that no one else can even see, unless he wants to be seen.

That’s what you think, at least. You see him because he wants you to. There’s not much concrete evidence of how ghosts really work, so you’re mostly going on what you’ve read about the subject and different cultures, and your own gut instinct.

You know your ghost can talk, too. A little bit, at least, not quite full sentences. You’ve heard what you swear was a laugh, a groan, mumbled words. He’s getting stronger, and you’re certain he will answer your questions, eventually. You’ll be patient.

One evening, you ask for his name while getting ready for bed in the bathroom. You see his hulking figure behind you in the mirror, dark shadow almost looking like he’s leaning against the wall. Not that you were expecting any response, but it’s still disappointing to not get one. The bar of soap at your sink gets tossed to the floor. “It was just a question, you know. No need to start throwing stuff around if you don’t want to answer,” you mumble as you pick it up. It’s back on the floor as soon as you turn your back to toss your clothes in the laundry basket.

You wake up feeling cold that night. Glancing at the clock, it’s barely past midnight. You close your eyes, wanting to go back to sleep; having an early morning tomorrow, you want to at least try to get a proper night of sleep.

Something’s wrong, though. It takes you a while to realize what exactly that is. It’s cold, unusually so even under your thick duvet. A weight behind you in bed as you lie on her side. An arm around your waist, weighing you down. Someone’s cold, hard chest pressed against your back.

This is a dream. A fucking nightmare. It must be.

Feeling the weight shift behind you, a cold breath of air at the back of your neck, wakes you up rather quickly. The panic settles in slow, creeping up as you process the situation, eyes wide open.

You squeeze your eyes shut, considering your options. You could tear that arm off you and make a run for it. Scream as you go, get the attention of your neighbours; the middle-aged lady whose name you haven’t bothered to learn, who is always so quick to blame you for any and every sound she hears. Or you could just go back to sleep, ignore your problems until the morning, or until the person behind you decides to do something. Just- just ignore it until then.

Or you could turn around and see who it is.

What if they’re not even asleep? Watching, waiting for you to react?

You try to rationalize it, you always do. Always have a plan, always prepared for anything.

Not this, though.

How the hell could anyone ever be prepared for waking up to something like this?

You try to move, to slide out of bed, moving so slow the person behind you wouldn’t notice if they’re truly asleep. Their grip only tightens around your waist, stilling your movement. You hold your breath.

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?!

What’s a person supposed to do here, in a situation like this? You’ve heard enough horror stories – stories from real life, real people, not mere fiction – about how these things usually end. A woman living alone, someone forcing entry to their home after weeks, or even months of stalking them, getting to know their schedule, their workplace, their life. Every option, every possible action you could take has its risks, and your mind in running a million miles per hour.

You decide to turn, the pure fear getting to you. Fear of simply not knowing who this person is, why or how they’re here, in your home. In your bed.

You turn, moving slowly and carefully again, to face whoever is in the bed with you. Your heart pounds in your chest, the fear and anxiety or what or who you’ll see terrifying you to your very core.

There’s nothing there. In the dark room, you only see the moonlight peeking through the blinds, not doing much to light your room.

There’s nothing there.

Your eyes close and you take a deep breath, telling yourself it was some fucked up dream that just felt too real. You have been stressed out lately, more so than usual, so it's not that out of the question that it would start affecting you in different ways.

You promptly choose to ignore the still cold to the touch indentation on the mattress beside you.

You don’t even notice the now familiar eyes watching you from the corner of your bedroom.

Thank you so much for reading! Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated!🌷

Also, I've been very busy and stressed recently, mostly with uni and assignments and starting my final thesis. I've found writing this to be sort of relaxing, like a way to get my mind off of things when it gets too much and my brain turns to mush. :)

[raainberry]

Blue Hour

“The blue hour is the idea that everything is about to end or, on the contrary, that everything is about to start again.”

Jihyo x gn!reader

Fluff

synopsis - it was only supposed to be a fling

wordcount - 1.9K

T/W - Blood (mentioned (1) once)

A/N - missing the killing me good era😔 i actually don’t know how to feel about this one but i miss my girl so

Twenty to thirty minutes.

That’s how long it takes for the sun to fully rise. To show itself in the morning.

It takes the same amount of time to fully disappear. To hide itself in the evening.

In each case, the moon isn’t too far away. You remember seeing it every time before she showed up.

And every time after she left.

Nature’s schedule is strict. So was her’s, leading the two of you to only meet at night: in between two blue hours.

“It’s a little cloudy today.”

The sound of her voice broke your staring contest with the moon, finding the glow in her eyes to be more interesting. The latter shone brighter than yesterday, you noticed as she leaned against the railing beside you.

Your own smile pulled a little more at your lips as well, excited to see hers again. You’d only part for half a day’s worth every time, yet it always felt like it stretched as each day passed.

“I didn’t get to see much of the sunset on my way home.” She pouted. “Did you?”

She hoped the rooftop of her apartment building had offered a better end to your day than it did hers. After all, the sunrise and sunsets she’d witnessed from here so far were nicer.

You shook your head in response, though, making her frown. “Just a glimpse.”

“Maybe it’ll be better tomorrow.” She said, still hopeful.

Her optimism made you smile. The sun could stop shining for all you cared, she would do its job better anyway. She was one little sunshine, a true ray of light you wouldn’t have dared to approach if she hadn’t done so first.

“I doubt it. Fall is coming soon.” You reminded, but she shrugged, looking at the darkening horizon with the same spark in her eyes.

“The sun still sets during Fall, don’t be so depressing.”

“But it’s not as pretty.” You pointed out, pulling her eyes to you.

Maybe that’s what you were looking for, she realised, giggling at the sight of a familiar smirk on your lips.

“And what if I’m there?” She asked, grinning and posing with a hand under her chin for you.

She fluttered her eyelids, giving further into her own banter; her grin warm, playful and inviting as she urged you to join her point of view.

You couldn’t help but laugh at her antics, giving in to the harmless corruption with a soft kiss on her happy lips. She managed to steal a few more from your own, smiling into each one despite having to chase them.

When you managed to pull away, she pointed fun at your flushed cheeks, something you expected by now. You sported the shade proudly, her teasing never bothered you, but sometimes you did wonder how she managed to turn you into such a mess.

Maybe it was because things were still recent between the two of you. Or maybe you were just too far gone and—in all honesty—too down bad for her.

Either way made sense, so you never bothered to look further.

“Why do you still blush like that, we’ve been doing this for weeks, you should be used to it.” She teased, but her words landed in a different tone on your ears.

They made you think.

For weeks, you repeated…

“I am, that’s the problem.” You slipped out just under your breath. It was too late to retain the words, so you tried to keep them out of her ears.

It’d been weighing on your mind for a bit, how uncertain your relationship with Jihyo has been.

Whatever was going on between the two of you, it wasn’t exactly conventional anymore.

It was, only until about three weeks ago, when it was all supposed to end. You should not have seen her face past August 31st. That’s how flings worked. How summer flings worked at least. Or how you thought they worked?

You weren’t really sure of anything regarding love and affection. Relationships had taken a whole new meaning the second she laid her lips on yours that one night at the bar.

The feelings, the thoughts, the moments… It was all new.

She was new.

Maybe infatuation was the right word at the time. Now it just felt weak. Unqualified. Wrong.

You couldn’t tie the bond you’d developed down to such an ephemeral idea.

Not when your feelings for her settled in your heart with intentions so far out of field.

“The problem?” She repeated after a while.

Way to ruin the mood, you mentally congratulated yourself.

“What exactly is the problem, Y/N?” She asked, holding onto your sleeve with a couple fingers.

A timid and discreet gesture that didn’t go unnoticed. Your eyes fell down to her hand, and you couldn’t help but feel some of that hope she’d showcased minutes before.

Meeting her eyes again, you noticed the spark was gone, replaced by a clouded gaze similar to the blue sky above. It seemed heavy. Not as dark, only busy.

Was she worried?

“I just… Don’t know where this is going. That’s all.” You tried to shrug it off, pulling your hand away to get the sleeve out of her grip.

The busy streets below kept an awkward silence away from the two of you, allowing you to feign interest about their noise and random happenings.

The distraction could have been sweet if only it weren’t from your own mind.

It was hard not to think it all over. It was hard to focus on the rational part of it. The one telling you to leave tonight before getting hurt more than you already were.

It was hard because of how loud the other part was.

The one happy with just a glance from the woman beside you. Happy with just standing next to her. Seeing her smile, hearing her laugh. Satisfied with her kiss, her touch… As long as you learned more about her.

More than you should.

You sighed into the night, feeling your rationality push through.

“Would it make you feel better if I said I don’t know either?” She broke the silence.

Your eyes found her again, catching her smiling down at her own hands. That smile seemed heavy as well, as if she was forcing it out to avoid any other reaction.

“Not at all.” You said truthfully, causing a chuckle to escape her lips.

You didn’t understand why, especially when her eyes started watering instead of just… crinkling in joy.

Her teeth suddenly pulled on her bottom lip, nearly drawing blood as she tried to find words. The right ones. Ones that would make you stay even longer.

Her lips alone weren’t enough for that anymore.

“But… Don’t you want to figure that out together?”

A breath caught in your throat. Then another, after a second. It felt as though you didn’t know how to breathe anymore. Like her question shook much more than your heart.

You looked at Jihyo once more, hoping it would fix it like it did everything else, but her focus remained on her own fingers.

“I know I want to.” She said, picking at her nails, a giveaway of her nerves. “I just thought it was obvious.”

Her eyes finally raised to meet yours, sadness written all over the smile she tried to send you.

“Do you actually?”

Your voice came out a whisper, and it didn’t surprise you. You weren’t sure you wanted to know her answer to that question. You gave her a chance not to hear it. To get away and break the rules with no consequences for a little longer.

Truth was you’d let her.

“I think I like you.”

There it went again; your breathing.

“You think?” You chuckled, but only to fight the tears suddenly pooling in your eyes. “Jihyo, I can’t do this anymore.”

You stared out ahead, your gaze landing on nothing and everything all at the same time. So many lights, buildings, so many trees and people… Yet nothing registered.

All you could process, all you could feel… It emaned from right next to you.

The skies above reminded you of it. The familiar blue drowned its details as time deepened its shade. You watched it happen so many times with her you could blindly tell the time.

08:10pm.

That’s when she decided to take your hand in hers, pulling you away from the overwhelming sights.

That’s when you felt the warmth of her hands against your cheeks as she made you look into her eyes instead.

You focused on the lights reflecting in them instead, trying to avoid her thoughts. They could hurt.

“Tell me something, Y/N…” She trailed off, her eyes desperate for even a sign of your focus on her. “Do you regret any of what happened between us?”

“Yes.”

You watched silently as the effects of your answer painted her features.

They tensed up. Eyebrows lowered, lips narrowed, yet eyes watered, holding a sense of hopelessness you witnessed for the first time… It was messy. As if even she didn’t know how to feel.

You, however, could tell.

She wasn’t angry. She was exasperated. Frustrated.

“Can you feel it too now? Do you see why I regret it?”

You should have known she wouldn’t answer the way you wanted her to.

You knew she was stubborn.

You should have expected her lips on yours.

Just like you knew you’d melt into them with a single kiss despite yourself.

Your will never mattered when it came to her. You always ended up folding to hers, giving into a second kiss before intiating the third one.

And you rarely pulled away first.

“Why?” You practically begged through breaths she’d stolen from you.

The gentle brush of her thumb against your skin, the warmth and care she seemed to hold in her eyes for you, the silent words you could make out in them… It almost made you break down right then and there.

It all suddenly became so obvious.

“Because I like you.” She smiled.

It was bright again. It made you believe her a little more, although you still weren’t convinced.

Maybe she sensed that, as she wasted no time to argue her point.

“That’s why I’ve been making excuses to keep seeing you.”

“My flight back was delayed, can I stay at your place?”

“The company’s letting me choose the flight date and I don’t actually have to go back to work for another week…”

“Can we stay friends? I’d love to just hang out with you. Maybe come see me in Seoul some time?”

“It just happened, let’s just put this on reunion excitment.”

“Yes, friends don’t kiss each other. But friends with benefits do. So no, it’s not weird.”

Maybe they were not all excuses. Some you definitely had a hand in. Yet you remained clueless for some reason.

Love really makes you dumb.

“I thought you were playing me.” You mumbled.

“Then you don’t know me at all.” She said, amused.

“That would be because I wasn’t supposed to.”

“Yet you learned to, didn’t you?”

You nodded, looking down in embarrassment. You couldn’t help but feel ashamed of the drama you’d caused.

You scolded her for not being honest, but you were just as guilty.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled again. “This is all new to me, I guess I freaked out a little.”

Your confession caused a few giggles to escape her lips, to your delight. The sound made you smile as you admired the happiness radiating from her features again.

The intensity of your emotions made it feel as though it had been months since you last had the chance to.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. My intentions could have been a little clearer.” She admitted. “I want to date you.”

You chuckled at her small clarification, finding the moon in the dark blue sky again.

It shined a little more. The blue was turning into its darkest shade yet, as the day finally left room for the night.

The blue hour was over, and it made you smile.

You had all night to spend with Jihyo. The woman holding your smiley cheeks so softly in between her hands.

For the first time since you met her, you couldn’t wait until the next one.

Because this time you won’t have to forget about her once the sun comes out of hiding.

[lunarvir]

FRIENDS? FRIENDS.

tsukishima kei x chubby!f reader

not a professional writer at all TT, bored writing but I hope you guys like it, kinda ooc bat hehe whatever. Kei here is not that salty sooo🙏 bored writing

FLUFFFF + ANGST

Tsukishima Kei, A new transfer first year in Karasuno High. For the first time that I saw him I felt nothing for him, I never thought that I could fall for a guy like him, he looks nerdy and a bit boring actually absolutely not my type.

As months pass by we got to know each other better, found out that we both like reading comics, playing volleyball, video games, dog, and the majestic taste of strawberry cake. After knowing him for a while I actually thought, maybe this Kei guy wasn't bad after all?

"hey shortie" you sigh as you heard his voice "oh nerd what you doing here?" you replied as you both bump into each other at the coffee shop, "ah, nothing much just getting something to drink, you know schools been though" "is that so? well you won't mind if we go in together? a study date maybe?" "shortie asking me on a date?" then letting out a little giggle "whatever Tsukishima Kei, you could just say no plus! it's not even a date date dramatic ass" you replied while rolling your eyes "geez my apologies your highness, oh well I guess I'll have to accept your offer to have a date I mean a date but not a date date with me" he said while trying not laugh at his own corniness, as you let out sa laugh you both want inside the coffee shop

you both have been sitting and studying together for almost 3 hours, with you actually just wanting to go home and just binge watch netflix series. as you broke the silence asking Kei if he wanted to go to your house and just hang because studying is starting to bore you out, Kei absolutely accepted your offer, considering that your parents were barely home like, everyday and that the two of you were close enough that he always comes to your house to just watch series, to borrow some of your comics and to even play with your dog biscuit.

"damn all of that studying killed me shortie" as he sat his self down to your bed, feeling super comfortable as if it's his own bedroom "ah, yea wanna watch something creepy??" "just look at the mirror then you'll see something creepy and scary" he joked around to annoy me, as i rolled my eyes at him, he finally picked a good horror movie to watch. for me scary movies never really scared me, but for him well I actually never thought that he was a scardy cat.

as we were halfway to the movie we were so close together laying down on my bed, almost like we were cuddling. I didn't thought anything about it until his hands were getting closer and closer to mine, my heart beat rapidly beating as his hands were still getting closer I felt kinda awkward so I asked him "you scared?" "hmm" as he nodded i just went ahead and interlocked my hand into his, then slowly I felt myself slowly sliding down onto his chest feeling his heartbeat beating as fast as mine was. as we finished the movie we were watching, I turned of the tv to scare him teasing him that somebody's beside him other than me, after I teased him I turned the tv back on for the only source of light we had as i complained that it was cold i suggest to turn off the ac but he just offered me a hug, feeling his warmth I never thought we would be this close, never in a million years.

months passed by me and Kei wasn't as close as before, he barely hanged out with me anymore maybe it was because he was getting a lot of fame from playing volleyball and having all of his fan girls around him. I never thought I'd miss his touch, his hands, his laugh, his hair, his voice even his scent. When we were physically close I never had feelings, but when he was slowly drifting away from me I'm starting to miss him and even like him for some reason.

a month has passed by, we were no longer first years. it's summer i know I should spend it going out with my friends but I'm just here in my bedroom remembering all the times we spent, then I finally had the courage to confess my feelings to him, how much I actually liked him.

at first he never took my confession seriously, so i didn't stop giving him unwanted attention. as weeks passed by I guess he got annoyed by me and the finally rejected me properly. him telling me that those touches were just for fun broke me, he never at any intentions nor interest.

END.

[heliads]

Dear Elena

It is hard to keep track of anything when your entire life has been shattered into pieces. You're meant to be writing letters to your best friend, who happens to be in a coma at the moment, but you keep getting sidetracked by the one man who won't leave your thoughts.

masterlist

It is a beautiful morning, the sun is out, and all you can think about is the people you’ve lost. Last summer, you had more friends around than you do right now. Some of them are gone forever, some have moved on and moved out of town, and others are not within your grasp anymore. The endless loss blends together into one dense cacophony of regret, enough to keep you indoors even despite the lovely day outside.

Instead, you’re curled up on one corner of a sofa in the Salvatore house, passing off your suffering as an excuse to write to yet another one of the friends you’re missing. Elena Gilbert is not to blame for her absence in your life; she certainly wants nothing to do with her seemingly eternal coma, but your journal entries to her have started spiraling into irritation as the weeks go by without her waking up.

Case in point, your latest attempt at a happy message to your friend if/when she ever wakes up:

Dear Elena,

Shit has been fucked.

A voice sounds from over your shoulder, just as dry and sarcastic as ever.

“Y/N, you’re supposed to be uplifting with these things. Last time I checked, ‘uplifting’ didn’t involve nearly so many bad words.”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes, but it’s a losing battle. “And last time I checked, these journals were for Elena, not you, Damon. Quit reading over my shoulder.”

Damon Salvatore, for of course it is he, spreads his hands in another display of his usual casual bravado. “Maybe you shouldn’t be writing them in my house if you don’t want me looking. Consider me curious, that’s all. I want to know if you’re adequately portraying my great deeds of heroism that I’ve been doing all the time since Elena closed her eyes.”

You take a moment to ponder that, then scrawl in one more line beneath the aforementioned expletives:

Also, your boyfriend is annoying me to death. Again.

Damon swats you on the shoulder. “Rude. Don’t you have anything nice to write other than complaints or depressed musings?”

You laugh bitterly, but the sound only turns more troubled as it trails off into silence. “Not really. Nothing’s going well at the moment. Every time I think I can count on someone, they leave or let me down.”

Damon blows out a low breath. “Tell me about it. I mean, it’s not like Mystic Falls is always a powerhouse of fun and playtime, but I think I even caught Caroline moping around when she thought I wasn’t looking.”

You hug your knees tighter to your chest. “It just all feels pointless. We fix a problem and two more take its place. You think you know someone and you’re wrong about them every time.”

Damon gives you a look, finally serious for once in his extended life. “This is about Enzo, isn’t it?”

You glance away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He chuckles. “Of course you don’t.” A beat goes by, and he speaks again, almost an afterthought. “It’s not love, by the way.”

You frown up at him. “What?”

“Why Enzo is on Lily’s side. It’s not love, it’s duty. She turned him. That does stuff to your sense of obligation. He’s helping her because he thinks that’s what he should do. He doesn’t love her. Or, not like that, at least.”

You shake your head. “He doesn’t love her like what?”

When Damon remains infuriatingly silent, you press him again for information. “Wait, Damon, like what?”

He doesn’t answer you, though, just disappears, leaving you only with the fluttering of your notebook pages for company. You groan, muttering silent curses about over dramatic vampires never saying what they mean, then toss your notebook to the side. Damon’s right, you’re never going to get this entry done properly if you’re still in your head about everything to do with one certain Enzo St. John.

After all, how could you? Enzo is Enzo, for better or for worse, and nothing about him has made sense since the day you met. You were there when Enzo was trying to kill Damon, when he did time on the Other Side, even when he was helping the rest of you try to free Damon and Bonnie from the prison world. He’s been your enemy at times, your friend at others, but above all, he has lingered around your thoughts far more than you would care to mention.

Dear Elena,

Do you remember when you first told me you were falling for Damon? How I told you that you were crazy for loving someone who had tried to kill us at one point? I think I might have to join you in that camp. I’m not crushing on Damon, don’t worry about that, but someone else. Someone pretty similar to Damon, actually. Guess that’s why they’re such good friends.

You never counted on falling in love with Enzo. Love is difficult in Mystic Falls– there are always a thousand different things going wrong, enough to tear you from what you’re certain is a happily-ever-after just when you’ve finally allowed yourself to have hope. You had just decided that you were going to use your head and not fall in love at all if you could help it, and then he showed up and just like that, you knew you were done for.

It’s not like you could have done anything else. Enzo flirted with you constantly while he was trying to kill you. He made jokes when you were facing each other off. He sought you out first when he escaped the Other Side, said something about how the worst part of it by far was not being able to talk to you. 

He made you promises you knew he couldn’t keep, and then he joined Lily Salvatore and now it’s like he’s gone from you forever. Technically, he’s still out there, but he’s not yours anymore. If he ever was, that is. Suddenly, you’re not sure of anything the way you once were.

Dear Elena,

Why do boys have to be so insanely difficult?

Your moping clearly isn’t doing anything for you, so you give up and head outside. Most of your remaining friends have taken to camping out in the Salvatore estate at some point or other during the day. It makes it easier to find everyone when a new startling discovery descends upon you all, but it also makes you feel trapped, a bird in a cage who longs to spread her wings.

There is, however, a very good reason why you should stay inside longer, and that reason appears when you’ve hardly taken three steps into the center of town. You were headed for the Mystic Grill, but you do an abrupt 180 on the sidewalk and start heading back towards the residential areas when you spot a dark-haired figure that’s all too familiar to you. You don’t think he saw you, so you might be able to get away if you hurry.

Or maybe not. There’s a shout after you, it makes you flinch. “I missed you, you know.”

A gust of wind rustles the leaves on the branches nearby, and you don’t have to turn around to know that Enzo has just appeared behind you, taking advantage of his vampire speed to cross the street in less than a second.

“Yeah, well,” you say, still not trying to make eye contact with him, “maybe you shouldn’t have joined Lily and her Heretics, then. If you miss me, why aren’t we on the same side?”

“We weren’t on the same side at the start,” Enzo muses, keeping time with you even as you try to walk away, “that didn’t bother you then, now, did it?”

“That was different,” you argue.

“Was it?” He asks. “I was trying to kill you then. I’m not anymore.”

“And how do I know that?” You ask, finally standing still long enough to look him directly in the eyes. It’s been a while since you saw him face to face, you almost forgot how deeply he looks at you, like you’re the only person in this world worth seeing.

Enzo sighs, raises his hand to scuff through his hair but stops himself just in time. It’s been a while since he cut it short and started gelling it smooth, but sometimes you think he forgets that it isn’t the unruly almost-shoulder height it had once been. Enzo has spent enough time in various stages of captivity and death and rebirth that sometimes the lines start to blur. Even for seemingly insignificant things like hair. 

You like it better now, actually. You’re certain you’ve told him that at least once, and if you haven’t, he’s probably picked up on it from the way your eyes lingered on him when he first got the cut. 

“You know because you trust me,” Enzo starts, and holds up a hand when it looks like you’re going to cut him off. “And yes, you can say all you want about how you won’t trust me since I’m with the Heretics but maybe— maybe I don’t want that anymore.”

Your brow furrows. “Why not?”

He lifts a shoulder. “I’m not sure, honestly. I thought it would feel better. She promised me that we’d be like a little family or something, but the lot of them have been together so long that I just feel like an intruder.”

“Then why haven’t you left yet?” You dare to ask. 

“I’m waiting for the right moment,” he answers you, “Lily’s control over her little monsters is slipping. At some point it’ll be easy for me to steal away and just never come back. I don’t want her sort of life anymore. I want something that feels right.”

“Like what?” You breathe. 

“Like you,” Enzo says without a second’s hesitation, “it’s always been you, Y/N, you know that. I liked you from the very start. I had hoped that spending more time with Lily wouldn’t hurt us, but I was wrong. I just want you. Not her, not her bizarre idea of a family. You.”

You exhale slowly. “I’ve been waiting to hear that for a very long time, you know that?”

Enzo cracks a grin at last. You missed that smile more than anything, more than it hurt to admit you needed him. “My apologies, love. I’ll try to be better at spilling my heart out in the future.”

He’s joking, though, and his smile only grows when you start to laugh. It is easy, being with him, and although you never really thought about why that was before, you’re glad to know that you’ll have plenty of time to ponder it now, especially with Enzo by your side. 

Dear Elena,

I think, for once, that things actually might turn out alright. 

tvd tag list: @thatfangirl42