#// Since I was last here I've had 3 jobs and a new partner and a career change - and that's just the start //

[grollow]

I'm tucking this under the cut but tldr; life update stuff.

I'm really bad at posts like this so I am going to preface it with: I'm sorry if I stumble.

A year ago, I lost my job with no notice. It was a job I'd been at for a decade. I tend to stay with the jobs I get--so for this reason, I've actually only had 4 altogether in my entire lifespan; I stay for 10+ years, and I've only left them because the companies straight up folded.

When I lost it, they owed me about a grand.

I've been struggling since then to make ends meet. My friends and partner have helped me stay afloat, and I live with my parents--which is a complicated situation that I'd rather not get into, though I will say that it's certainly not helping my mental state in the least. I've managed to make ends meet, between that, and people helping me out--both when this first happened, and when my computer died last year (thank you, again).

But despite my best efforts and over 500 applications, I haven't managed to get a job. I take commissions here or there, though with my brain being as it is, I'm backlogged and can't accept any more of those.

I'm making a concentrated effort to make life easier on myself. Toward that end, I recently went and applied for (and got, thankfully) low income insurance, which I hope will help with some of my problems.

But I figured I'd reach out here and also say: if you're someone who enjoys my content and wants to support me in a way that isn't just likes + reblogs + kudos + comments (all of which I love, please know--this is not to discount them in the least), I have a ko-fi and you are welcome to donate there. Anything you donate will likely go to helping me get new glasses (assuming my insurance doesn't cover them, I don't know what it covers yet but mine are busted--I'm hoping it covers them? and mental health? Maybe dental? My teeth are so messed up) and probably trying to get driving lessons because I don't drive currently.

There is no pressure. I promise I am not going to be homeless tomorrow, nor am I going to starve, I'm not in immediate danger and I'm genuinely okay. I don't want to trigger anyone feeling guilty--I know these sorts of posts can cause that.

I'm just offering the link up in case anyone wants to help out. This is hard for me because I'm kind of scared I sound like I'm begging--so if I'm being awkward, that's why.

Thank you in advance. <3

[sunbloomdew]

beach episode spoilers below cut a collection of random thoughts :]

kudos to roxie and rob for being great friends to eva, reaching out to her and taking her on that vacation. we don't know who was calling eva in the starting screen but it was probably one of them or members of her family. it could have also been quincy! i've been thinking how they could help each other out while grieving :( i'm glad she has people she can count on in her life

also i really like that the beach episode gave us more roxie and rob moments, showing us more of their characters!! i love that they got more chances to be goofy <3 rob especially since in previous games, when he had lines of dialogue he was stoic and serious, and here we get to see that he matches roxie's freak kshfskfhskj

im wondering if eva left her job at sigmund after neil's death, since she'd had to get a new partner. plus this whole thing going down would definitely change how she feels about her job... i wonder if she ever briefly considered signing up with sigmund for a life where neil lived.

and last but not least: what the hell did angus mean by "... who's still alive, that is..." what is the fate of sigcorp

and i gotta say, while im a tinyyyyy bit disappointed over there not being a lot of new music tracks in the game, i really enjoyed hearing music from the previous games. and the title theme GOES HARD

thank you for reading this assortment of thoughts

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

RECYCLING /REPURPOSING

I've been sitting for days on the recycling concept of these 2 mirroring scenes this fucking SOB Storer planted there in plain sight for us.

I hated the Carmy scene soooooo much that I was blocked. So I postponed analyzing it all together. Till today.

I couldn't believe Storer fucked up soooooooo much.

CARMY'S VERSION:

Carmy sounds completely OC, who wrote this?!?!?!

He's talking nonsense. As if the entire S2 never existed, as if his realization during the panic attack never happened, and as if all the things we all know he feels for Syd were never there, as if Braciole never happened either, is a complete OVERWRITTING OF THE CHARACTER! He sounded as if a whole new team of rookie writers came in and wrote this P.O.S. scene on their first day on the job and then Storer signed off on it and shot it, with the money I pay HULUUUUUUUUUUUUU every month!

I figured: "It has to be on purpose! This can't be THIS BAD, it has to be good like deep deep down, and I'm fucking missing it."

Well... turns out I was missing the PURPOSE. Or the re-purposing, I should say.

Carmy, with the help of the other 2 clowns that were absolutely unnecessary but had a point bc let's face it, he shoulda sent a SO SORRY text as soon as he got out of the walk-in and he didn't do it not only bc he's an avoidant asshole and didn't get Syd's clearance that put his priorities in order, which he took as the perfect excuse to AVOID taking responsibility, was trying to re-purpose Claire, but here's the catch→ HE FAILED. He gave up on her.

Eventually, we saw all of that giving up on her altogether attitude in a more apparent way, yet still quite symbolical, too symbolical if you ask me, in the freezer in 03x09, he took his time, he doubted, and to me, that was a huge statement so I dedicated that moment alone several posts already:

Syd's version:

Syd, on the other hand, all by herself, like the independent G woman she is, is in the dumpster:

Also recycling the fucking cardboard boxes that those 2 clowns SHOULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF as if she had any fucking free time to on top of EVERYTHING SHE ALREADY DOES AT THE RESTAURANT and had to also recycle because the fucking Faks fucked up and failed to do their fucking job! Completely different energy than the "boys talk" the 3 other idiots had in the dumpster while calling the MPDG "peace"/piece of ass.

So she is in the middle of trying and failing (that’s why she didn’t sign the agreement that day either even though Nat urged her to) to recycle her whole purpose of being there, working at The Bear, because it's obviously not turning out to be what she expected or wanted, she's masking the disappointment she really feels with anger and frustration because the partner she trusted last season in, to make sure this didn't blow up in her face like last time, should be RECYCLED ASAP:

So Syd is in the process of losing and having to recycle her purpose to stick around, which is obviously what the Jocker's offer triggered in her but was simmering under the surface since even way before he tried to poach her.

She's in the middle of a purpose crisis too, but totally different than Carmy's.

Parallels:

His crisis has to do with his feelings for a girl he can't make himself love and has decided to leave behind, knowing where that may take him down the line → UNSTUCK FROM HER MUD WITH ALL THE IMPLICATIONS THAT HAS IN REGARDS TO OTHER FEELINGS HE DOESNT WANNA FEEL, which I went over HERE.

Syd's repurposing crisis has to do with: CARMY and whether or not she's gonna keep on giving him more chances, whether or not she should stick by his side, because this, as it is, is just not working for her. But that doesn't mean she thinks Shapiro will work. It means she wishes her disappointment didn't exist, not that she wants to continue taking chances on chefs and risking getting burned AGAIN. That's her crisis. That's why she's losing purpose now, this is her current DUMPSTER CRISIS. The only piece of ass she's thinking about is Carmy’s and she has to re-purpose their entire relationship, which the Joker/trickster Shapiro brought up to the forefront of her mind in that ep. The same ep where we learned about Legerdemain

It's all about:

Or more like... lack thereof.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[csigeoblue]

Double Date Part 1 - Roy Kent x Platonic!Reader (Ted Lasso Fic)

A/N: Roy Kent is your sour bestie and hates your mean boyfriend.

"Oh come on Roy! Y/N has been asking us to double date with their boyfriend for a month now. They're gonna think you don't like them anymore if you keep dodging 'em babe." As much as it pissed Roy off that Keeley was right, he knew he had to make an appearance especially since Luke is letting you show your face in public for the first time in a while. He'd always been skeptical of the guy when you first started dating but he didn't want to get in the way of your happiness as you'd been so helpful in getting him off his ass to win Keeley back.

"Oi! Fine. We'll fucking go on this stupid double date to check on Y/N." Keely squealed in excitement. She knew you'd be so happy to see your best friend. Roy looked down at his phone to text you back in your chat with Keeley.

RK: Let's meet at your favorite restaurant, Y/N/N.

YN: Luke made reservations for us at Pearl's. xD

RK: But you fucking hate that place.

YN: It's grown on me :3 ... Besides you and Keels love going there!

RK: If you're sure.

Only a fucking arsehole would take their partner to a place they absolutely hate. Roy tried to shrug off the weirdness of your texts and focus on the Tesco trip he had planned with Keeley. ___________________

At dinner, Roy's concern only grew. You came at him like you normally would for an overly aggressive hug but the look in Luke's eyes as he witnessed it was not at all jokingly annoyed even though his words were meant to be. Keeley hugged you with the same energy - having missed you the last few weeks.

"C'mon Darling, don't make a show with me right here."

"Sorry love, you know Roy's my best mate from my time at Chelsea."

"Why don't we get our table then? Thanks for making the rezzie Luke!" Keeley, bless her heart, attempted to diffuse the situation by deflecting attention towards the restaurant you all were meeting at.

You tried to get Luke and Roy to engage in conversation but it seemed Luke only cared about Keeley today.

"Honey, why don't you tell Roy about your new promotion at work?"

"Yes Luke, tell me about fucking work." Keeley rolled her eyes at Roy's sarcasm before hopping in. "Congratulations Luke! What is it you're doing nowadays?"

"Well Keeley, I am now a senior financial analyst at a big firm in London. Taking on more responsibilities and training new idiots."

"They're not idiots babe - they just need your guidance to know what to do. It's not easy being the new kid on the job." The wicked smile Luke gave you at your response made you freeze. Keeley might have missed it because she piped up adding onto your stance but Roy's all knowing gaze caught the slight tremor in your hand as you reached for your wine.

Luke chose that same moment to make a big gesture with his arms pushing back on Keeley a bit and happened to bump your wine allover your shirt as you went to sip. Roy stood up in fury as you did in shock. Luke had the audacity to laugh.

"Oi! Fucking hell, what was that?" Roy breathed heavily as Keeley put a hand on his arm to let him know she was there.

"Sorry Darling, guess you should be more careful of what's happening around you." You took a deep breathe to calm your nerves although now you were full on shaking. You nodded along mumbling an apology to the group.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Hey Y/N/N, it's not your fucking fault. It's this twat sitting next to you's fault."

Luke threw his napkin on the table as Roy sat down and you were wiping your top. "Alright that's it. Y/N, we are leaving. I'm sick of his shit."

Keeley spoke up concerned at how you've completely shut down.

"Y/N/N, babe, you can stay with us for dinner if you want. I've got a spare top you can borrow in the car. It'll only take a second." You shook your head while gathering your things. Luke had already started walking away from your group.

"No that's okay Keeley. I don't want to make things any worse than I have. You both have a good meal. Roy, you be better be good to this one." You pointed to Keeley with a small smile on your face.

Part 2

[what-the-stark]

// Hey friends <3 apologies for the lengthy hiatus, it's good to be back! I hope you're all doing well, life things will be under the cut, if you're interested.

As far as blog stuff goes, apparently tumblr ate my theme while I was away and I had to rebuild it after retrieving some elements from the Wayback Machine lol, so it's been an adventure already.

I'm getting organized and reaching out to partners about current threads, but feel free to poke me here or on disco if you wanna chat or remind me of something I owe you that you'd like to continue <3 and thanks for sticking around.

So, lifethings! It's been a wild few months, work has been an actual layer of hell that is seriously affecting my mental and physical health, but the most recent struggle is a car accident I'm in the process of recovering from (both physically/mentally and monetarily). I had surgery last month and I'm healing, but I'm still in a good deal of pain and my stamina is definitely compromised. I feel like I do nothing but sleep, honestly, and sleeping on the regular has never been my strong point.

My wife was holding my laptop hostage until the surgeon released me to hold 5 lbs again lol, but now that I have it back I can at least engage in some quality nerdistry since I'm off until August. And hopefully find a new car at some point, as mine is completely trashed.

But anyway! That's about all the adventure I've been up to lately, other than filling out insurance and job application paperwork lol. I hope you're all having a great summer so far. I look forward to chatting and writing with you soon <3

[ryndicate]

How bad do you want it? ⨳ Ichida Ryuken

"Then you know what to do."

notes: for @semisgroupie 's what's done in the dark collab! I've finally written something for bleach and I couldn't be happier to be writing about daddy Ishida >:3

warnings: uneven power dynamic, abuse of position, reader is given multiple outs aka consent, unprotected sex, public/risky sex

By expanding you are agreeing to viewing adult content and all warnings listed above. 18+ Minors DNI

Rules & Main Links

Whispers have been echoing around you since you arrived at work this morning, early but not so bright at a severe three in the morning. 

"Have you seen next week's schedule?"

"I haven't had a day off in three weeks."

"At least you don't have four back to back doubles. I've done nothing but work and sleep for god knows how—"

"Ma'am!" The youngest nurse in the lineup, Sachi you think, pops up from her seat after catching sight of you frowning at your boards. You turn to see her pacing towards you and grimace. 

You had seen the schedules too and were feeling the drain the same as everyone else. A few staff members from your department had been transferred last month with no replacements in sight.

"Can you please talk to Dr. Ishida," she all but begs you, her voice carrying enough to draw some of the other nurses towards you, their expressions taking on a hopeful outlook. "If anyone can convince him to hire more nurses it would be you."

Too late to escape, you try to ready a smile as the other nurses chorus at you, anxiety climbing.

"He always listens to you! It's probably because you're so good at your job."

"Yeah, I couldn't even get him to order new pens."

"He's so curt with everyone else."

"It wouldn't hurt to try, right?" Sachi throws on her best puppy eyes for good measure and you feel your willpower splinter. "Worst he could say is no?"

"Fine," you sigh, the pulsing of a new headache sounding like the last nails in your coffin. "I'll ask him after my shift today; he's got surgeries for most of the afternoon and a consultation in the evening."

Everyone relaxes measurably, breaking off one by one to get back to their duties and thanking you in hushed tones as the man in question appears around the corner.

Dr. Ishida Ryuuken barely gives you a cursory glance before breezing right past and you stiffen, making a show of studying the papers in your hand until he's gone. 

It's right to feel intimidated; tall and fit with vibrant snowy hair and a sharp jawline, he's incredibly handsome, barely looking a day over thirty despite having a teenage son. Quiet and icily strict, he’s a talented and sought after doctor despite losing his wife all those years ago. You could hardly imagine a man as cutting as him to even have had a wife, but you've never married so you guess you don't understand what it's like to lose a partner.

"Wouldn't hurt him to be nicer though." You rub your eyes, mumbling the words under your breath before glancing over your shoulder to make sure no one heard you. 

It’s a long day, like always. The work is hard, but in the end it’s good work. Infected stitches, bed sores, endless looping conversations with worried patients… someone has to do it, right?

You’re standing in the nurses bathroom exhausted, starving, and making a small attempt to wash some of the day’s grime away while you work up the nerve to go back upstairs to your department head’s office. This is honestly the last thing you wanted to do today, but you’ve been here longer than the rookies who swarmed you this morning, and honestly? They’re right. If they tried to talk to Dr. Ishida, he would have sent them running with their tails between their legs. You, on the other hand, have a little more backbone than that.

Feet still sore from the day you take the elevator up, thankful to find it empty and silent, and make your way down the familiar path to his office. You pause outside the door at the sound of muffled voices coming through the door. You check your watch. It’s nearly eight; you thought he’d be done with his consultation by now. There’s no way it would have run this long. Listening intently you try to make out the words.

“Sir, it’s the board of directors again. They’re trying to schedule—”

“Tell them I’m not here.”

“They’re not going to believe that.”

There’s a beat of silence and you can almost feel the undoubtedly stormy glare roiling behind his glasses.

“Then tell them to contact me during my operating hours. I’m off duty. They can leave a message like everyone else.”

“Sir, it’s the board.”

There’s more silence, and you step back from the door quickly when you realize their conversation is over, trying to appear unassuming. 

Ishida’s haggard looking aid doesn’t spare you a glance as they leave, and suddenly you feel less pessimistic about your own job.

The door is ajar so you tap your knuckles on the door, peeking in.

Dr. Ishida looks up from his desk, eyes still sharp, but some of the severity dissipates as he realizes it’s you.

“What is it this time?” He goes back to the papers on his desk. He’s aloof, bored, but with no direct dismissal you gather your nerves to do what you came for. You leave the door open to make the point that this won't take long.

“The nurses are still having a hard time since the transfers finalized,” you start, haltingly.

There’s several long moments of silence and for a moment you think he’s going to ignore you indefinitely before he looks up, raising an eyebrow at you.

“And?” 

The dry expectancy of his tone has heat rising beneath your collar, but you grit your teeth and work up your customer service smile from the days you worked retail to put yourself through nursing school. You never thought that experience would actually be useful, but here you are.

“Well, I understand how important your time is, sir, but we were hoping you might take some time out of your busy schedule to hire some additional staff to help balance the workload.”

As much as you try, there’s no curbing the biting undercurrent to your words. You’ve been in this position too many times to not be tired of it, and today you really just want to go home.

The good doctor turns his chair to face you, and his now piercing stare is enough to whittle away at your faltering confidence shakily propped up by indignance. You find your feet shifting as you try to ease your discomfort as he looks you over.

When he doesn’t say anything you’re getting ready to turn and stalk out of his office, but he finally speaks.

His voice is smooth now, nonchalant. “How important is this?”

“It would really help, sir,” you sigh, meek and defeated as he moves his chair a few feet back from his desk, the wheels giving a light squeak as they catch on the carpet. He leans back in it, crossing his arms. There’s an intensity in his eyes now that's different, an unspoken dare.

“Then you know what to do.”

There's that moment of resistance, there always is, where you simply maintain his stare with the blankest expression you can manage. But you inevitably crumble.

With a silent sigh, you reach for the hem of your scrubs and pull the colored pattern over your head. You're reaching for your bra when you pause, remembering the door is still open. 

Your hands drop and you're turning when Dr. Ishida's voice quietly rumbles across the room.

"Leave it." You glare at him and he stares back, immovable. "Unless you're done here?"

There it is, your best chance at walking out. Ignoring his bait you swallow your biting retort and unhook your bra, heat rising beneath your skin as he eyes your exposed tits, already hard from the scrutiny. You don't give him much more time than that, kicking out of your shoes and shoving your scrub bottoms off before coming around the edge of his desk.

You're left in nothing but a simple pair of gray cotton panties. Trying to hide your nerves, you lay yourself over his desk, nipples tightening painfully against the cold wood, hips raised and jutted out, displaying your ass for him.

You inhale slowly as he trails his hand up your outer thigh, skimming over the curve of your ass with such a gentle touch that it’s almost too sensitive. It makes you want to shy away, but you know that would only displease him, so you bite your inner cheek and steel yourself.

“Laundry day?” Ryuuken hums idly, sliding a finger in the band curving your left cheek and letting it go with a soft snap.

“With respect, fuck you, sir,” you sigh wearily, not in the mood for his brand of teasing today.

There’s a single note chuckle behind you, and you hate the way it sears against your skin like a brand, goosebumps rising down your spine in anticipation as you feel him move closer behind you. Instinctively you raise yourself to the balls of your feet as you feel his erection against your ass.

“Good girl.”

He’s amused now and you want nothing more than to hiss at him like a disgruntled cat, but your anxious eyes keep flickering to the open door, the risk of someone walking past keeping you silent.

Ryuuken rolls his hips into your ass a few times and smoothes a palm up your back, apparently content with taking his time.

“Will you hurry up?” you finally hiss, shuddering as his fingers make a third pass up and down your spine. You can feel the uncomfortable wetness growing between your thighs, the damp patch against your entrance sticking to your pussy. 

His hand immediately wraps around the back of your neck, effectively scruffing you, and you can’t help but let out a little squeak of surprise. He presses more tightly against you, leaning down to put his lips by your ear.

“Be quiet or get out,” Ryuuken murmurs, soft and dangerous, but the apparent lust roughening his tone is like little sparks bursting in your gut. You go limp, resigning yourself to his petting, arousal building like bubbling pressure in a coffee machine. 

You’re a hot flustered mess by the time you hear the clink of his belt, and you can’t help the tiny moan of approval as he finally tugs down your panties. The ache between your thighs has you biting every ounce of self restraint to keep your hips from arching towards him, letting him press on the small of your back and bump your feet into his preferred position like you wouldn’t have done it yourself given the chance.

A mewl is on the tip of your tongue, half choked as you chew your lower lip, at the feel of his fingers swiping through the slick you’ve accumulated. It receives a low hum of approval before his fingers are replaced with the blunt tip of his cock.

There’s a fog swirling over your mind. You can’t remember hearing the sound of a condom, but the heat and warmth of him slowly sinking into you is enough to send any worries of that flying from your mind. Your knuckles are white on the edge of the desk as you chew on a whine; his girth is something you’ve always reluctantly referred to as perfect, just enough to leave you full without making you grit at any pain, but his length always has you holding your breath because it never seems to end. He gives a little sigh behind you that has your mind fill with fluff, crackles of electricity sparking like exposed wires through your nerves.

“Breathe,” Ryuuken instructs calmly, and you hiccup, drawing in air like you just remembered how. “Again.”

There’s tears threatening your lashline as he stills, and you want to growl and posture at this stupid, sexy, rude as hell doctor being kind enough to give you time to adjust, but the alternative isn’t worth it. Knowing him, he’d rub it rather smugly in your face just how much you’re dripping all over him. So you sniffle instead, and tip your hips up just a little more, moaning in your throat as it has him pressing tighter against the front wall of your pussy.

One of his hands is stroking over the fat of your ass almost absentmindedly, as your pussy ripples around him at random, finally growing impatient for more stimulation. As if sensing your frustration, his grip moves to your waist and you curl a forearm under your cheek, ready to muffle any sounds if you need to.

His thrusts are quick and dirty right from the start, and your teeth are making divots in your arm before you know it. You get the sense that you’re not the only one stressed from today’s workload; it’s as if he’s trying to slam every ounce of pent up frustration out through your cunt. The unbreaking pace is mind-numbing and your eyes glaze over as he strikes deep in your core. 

Ryuuken’s grunts are quiet but they bathe over your ears, causing your pussy to squeeze down on him, and the hand supporting the brunt of his force flashes back to grab his wrist as you feel pleasure curl so close to the surface that you’re sure you’d crumble if it didn’t peak. He shakes his hand out of your grip and you almost sob, but he’s tugging your hips back further off the desk and reaching under you, the tips of his fingers brushing over your clit and your whole body locks up as your orgasm rips through you. 

His breathed curse falls on deaf ears as you ride out the blissful storm, extended by the way he savagely pulls you back on his cock, jerking into you unevenly, frantically, and you taste iron and salt as he sinks deep and grinds.

He’s still for a moment, breathing hard before his cock slips out of your cunt, and you feel warmth spilling down your thighs. One of these days you’ll have half a mind left to pay attention when Dr. Ishida Ryuuken loses his composure, but you’re too preoccupied with riding out the final aftershocks as he straightens his clothes behind you and smoothes his hair down.

Only then does he slide your panties back up your legs, making sure they’re firmly in place. There’s the soft sound of rustling fabric and finally your awareness rouses. You raise your head to see the office door closed, and your discarded scrubs sitting on the corner of his desk. 

Ryuuken watches you silently as you redress, offering no words, and you don't need them. You've been here before; you did what you came for, and he got what he wanted. Words weren’t necessary. Words complicate things.

He opens the door for you as you slip on your shoes. “Until next time.”

Something indescribable brightens inside you at Ryuuken’s words, and you give him a searing glare. In return you receive a small smirk, and he closes the door behind you with a light click.

As you walk down the hall, you tell yourself it’s only to gain favor with your employees, to help everyone out. That it’s altruism in its finest for you to pimp yourself out to the head of the department. That it has absolutely nothing to do with how well he fucks you and sends you on your way with shaking legs and a dripping cunt. Absolutely nothing at all.

Sachi is sitting at the nurse's station when you get down there, and you belatedly realize she was one of the nurses working double today.

“Oh, your arm!” She gasps, peeling out of her seat and dashing for the first aid cart. “I hate it when patients bite.”

You look down to see the mark on your arm; it’s bleeding, barely, but the crescent shape is like a ghostly reminder of his smile right before he closed the door in your face, and your heart jumps against your wishes.

Your glare returns in earnest.

Damn him.

© All rights reserved to @ryndicate. Do not modify, translate, or repost.

[the-literary-alchemist]

In the time I have been away from Tumblr, I have gone through a lot of turmoil and heartache. One situation was a three-year relationship with a woman with BPD — she really loved being sick, and I put up with a lot of physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse with her.

She ended up leaving me in May 2018 but then took her own life in August that year — in fact, it is the very same day (12 years ago) I attempted to take my own life for the third and final time, which she knew that and part of me thinks it was her intention to do that as a means to hurt me before she vanished from this earth.

Since then, I have had flings and another serious relationship. There wasn't much compatibility in either of those, and I have been single since summer 2022.

I just met someone new this year. And she had lost her partner a little over a year ago now too. We have been connecting a lot not only through that kind of grief, but we love a lot of the same things: sense of humor, food, music, emotional intelligence, kindness. Last but not least, she's beautiful — I don't think I've met anyone as gorgeous as she is.

First and foremost, she's whom I would consider a best friend, but I also think I have developed the purest sense of love for this person. I think she's aware of how much I like her. We haven't had a conversation about it yet. We are both very busy as adults. I work a high-level marketing job with my writing as well as lead in poetry outreach and housing justice activism; she's a single mom, widowed, working as a real estate agent. We don't get a lot of time together, but when we do have moments, time freezes. I hope to have a conversation with her soon about how much I love her but have no expectations for any of us to make immediate changes. In fact, I want to take our time.

She's asked if she could be present for this strange, double anniversary I will have. And I don't think I could imagine another person to be with me that day other than her.

I hope everything works out, whether we are just best friends or more. I don't think a bad outcome can come out of this situation. I'm so much more mature and accountable than I have been previously.

Some of you are new to me whereas others on here have known me on this format for over a decade now. I just want to let those friends that you would be incredibly proud of who I have been becoming since <3

[didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live]

hi im new here can you give a brief rundown of like you lol?? where youve lived, jobs, partners, interests, give me the idsb lore please!!!!!

hi!! sure, I have a lot of new followers and I was just thinking the other day abt this and how my blog is like 70/30 my personal life v Taylor so that must be confusing for new people. so yes! here's the spark notes:

My name is Holly and I just turned 28! I grew up outside of Boston and lived in NYC for ~10 years after I went to art school there. I dropped out of college after one semester to pursue my actual dream of touring with artists. After I dropped out I spent a while willingly homeless in NYC so that I could establish myself & my career there. Eventually it worked & I had been doing freelance photography, videography, graphic design and merch sales as steady income since ~2017. I was in a 5 year, emotionally abusive relationship with my high school sweetheart and finally ended it in 2018. A bit after this, I went to Australia for the first time with my then-friend now-boyfriend (Nov 2018). I've been obsessed with Australia since I was like 5 years old and it was an incredible adventure. I spent about 3 weeks there alone without then-friend, and during those 3 weeks met a Man. The last night we spent in Australia on this trip was Christmas Eve, and said man invited me to have an outdoor Love Actually screening and have a wine picnic with him and all his friends. it was one of the best nights of my life. We hooked up and he singlehandedly cured some sex-related fears I had from the previous relationship and I couldn't stop thinking about it for months. Back in America (Jan 2019) I entered my hoe phase in a never-ending quest for validation and slept with every guitarist I'd ever worked with while meanwhile having a big mental breakdown. Enter a John Mayer vibing man we called the Guitarist here, and a lot of Bad Shit he did to me in his own validation quest mental breakdown (May-August 2019). Clearly my only choice was to fly back to Australia to see the other guy! And I did (September 2019)! Then I was mega depresso when I went home bc my life felt hopeless & I'd already lived out all the hope it had going for it :) I continued my hoe phase and chronicled it via Spice Nights where I’d just answer nsfw asks and give advice for like 8 hours straight. This is waxing over it but it was chaotic and I cannot understate the Depression (Feb 2020).

Then the pandemic happened whomp whomp. I lost all my gigs and posted about it on Tumblr dot com, this blog gained a very large following sort of bc of being a Taylor blog and sort of bc of live-blogging all the drama. ms Taylor Swift saw it and she sent me $3,000 to cover my rent for all of lockdown. a lot happened as a result of that but in the end I realized it was not smart to stay in NYC and spent summer 2020 roadtripping around the US with my then-friend who had first come to Australia with me, who had since joined the leagues of guitar-playing-employer-i-was-sleeping-with (there were 4 in total but I was in loveeeeee w this one). Big Cruel Summer vibes. my friend group exploded partially as a result of my behavior and partially bc they were cunts who didn't care about John Mayer vibe man manipulating me. So then I said fuck it and moved to Montana to work in a national park w guitar guy I Actually Loved who had become my boyfriend at that point, and we lived there until winter 2021. Then I started touring again, got insanely successful, was making more money than most people I knew with salaried jobs and booking work all over the world, my relationship ended over some drama I found out about way after the fact but then we got back together & moved in together (May 2023). Going great. Then I got so fucking burnt out from my job I was like stop the presses I am fucking off to Australia I can't do the music industry and the mega late-stage capitalism anymore. so now I live in Melbourne and am a bartender at a fancy cocktail bar and my relationship is sort of a LDR but I’m going home soon maybe(?) and that is what you missed on Glee!!!!

[lunarubra]

This is me blabbing away and trying to make sense of this crazy moment that's my life... Kind of like a PSA, without a real structure.

(Let's start with an apology, this was supposed to be short, just a couple of lines long, asking for some forgiveness for being so absent, and it turned into a small vent about my crazy life. Synthesis has never been one of my strongest features, apparently.)

Life has been crazy lately. April, May, and June are always hectic months for a teacher, and this year looks like it's going to be even worse. Right now, I'm juggling a full teaching post, a university research, a social life with a partner, a new kitten bringing me everyday dead lizards (she is a serial killer in disguise), and being selected as an internal commissioner for the high school diploma this year. And no, the last one is not an honor; it's more like a punishment for younger professors who don't have the authority to say no to older colleagues, plus a ton of paperwork and two more months of work while everyone else is on holiday. Yuppie for me. But joking aside, I'm not complaining about my job. I'm happy to teach, and compared to a lot of other jobs out there, I feel privileged to do what I'm doing. I love my kiddos, and even though most of the time they behave like dunderheads, teaching supports my creativity and gives me so many insights into my life.

But let's get to the point of all this. I am feeling slightly guilty for not being as active here as I should be and for not having enough mental energy and time to dedicate myself to writing more. To my lovely mutuals, I'm in awe of all that you're posting right now. I apologize for not replying and commenting on your amazing content as much as I would like. I just wanted to say, it's not because I'm disappearing; I'm just really busy, and I can't wait for the moment when I'll feel more chilled and can treat myself to all your new chapters, moodboards, and all the amazing content you're creating. I know I am being a small silent weight in your tag list, so thank you for still including me <3

About "Shadow of the Sea," I have a chapter ready and one WIP of the following one. I want to post the one that's ready sometime in the next week, but after that, I'm not sure when I'll be able to write the next one. So Jiyan and Cillian are taking a small break. I'm going to continue the story; this is not a goodbye. I have many ideas and plans for those two idiots; I'm just waiting for some writing energy and time in my schedule.

And yeah, I understand if you're thinking, "Are you aware that your blog and story are read by less than 10 people and no one really gives a damn?" Yes, I am aware, and this post is mostly for me, writing it down it helps me a lot, giving some sort of clarity. However, I've had the chance to meet amazing creators since I got busy on Tumblr again a couple of months ago. People who supported me and helped me, so this is more me trying to explain why my support isn't at its 100% right now and trying to excuse myself since I feel like a horrible mutual right now.

Ah, one last thing, maybe the only thing that will pop up on my blog are some "Slow Horses" GIFs. Thanks to Alex, @cillmequick, Jackson Lamb, and River Cartwright have become my new obsession, and creating GIFs is one of the few things that calm me after a busy hectic day and make me use some of that creative energy left.

I think that's it. Please still free to write me and contact me about my fic, blog, shenanigans; I will try to reply as soon as possible. Sending you all a big hug if you arrive till the end of this long long lengthy text xD

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey Cas, how are you? This is brave anon again

So I quit my job when I said I would and overall I feel amazing, it’s hard and I’m still unsteady but definitely feel better quitting. I also got a really amazing opportunity to move away and do something new and get a fresh start which I’m super excited for.

The problem that I have now is I can’t continue to see my therapist once I leave and I’m not sure how to handle that. I don’t actually go to her to manage any mental illness or process trauma or do any “work” anymore, I go because I’ve gone to her for years and years now and we have a really amazing connection and in all honesty she’s probably the closest relationship I have besides my parents (as I said in my last ask I don’t have a lot of friends and the ones I do, I struggle to connect with on more than a surface level or keep for more than a couple months).

Maybe the wound is fresh but tbh, I feel more upset over this than when my long term partner dumped me or when I’ve had any type of friendship break up. I also feel really weird because the main thing I talk about with her anymore is that I connect with people and that I run away from my problems or am too impulsive for my own good and want to stop. And now I have to stop seeing her because I impulsively quit my job and am moving so I can runaway from my problems and in doing so I have to end a relationship with, the only person I’ve successfully connected with.

I still have time before I leave and plenty more sessions with her and I know she’ll help me end the relationship but idk I feel so broken over it. And also I don’t want to find a new therapist because honestly, I don’t need one I just go to her because I like her and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to have a connection with a therapist like I do with her again. It took me 2 years to actually open up and bond with her and it’s been years since I finally did that. I guess I feel like I’m losing the one person I connect with, the longest I relationship I think I’ve ever had, and that I’m failing her by doing the thing I’ve been in therapy to stop doing.

Hi! <3

I'm so glad you're happy with your decision!

Leaving a therapist is so hard- I've done it once, and it's so sad! Would it be possible (financially and like..rules-wise) for you two to have a phone/telehealth session every once in a while to check in?

If not, remember that just because the relationship is ending doesn't mean the things you've learned and gained are ending. You can still ask yourself what you think she'd say and you can still remind yourself that she cares.

I think it's really good that you realize this now, too, because you can talk to her about it! Make sure to be honest and express how you're feeling! There has to be some sort of therapy rulebook for this sort of thing, right?

But really, I'm here for you, and I know that's hard. Remember that this is what's best for you, even if it sucks now <3

[gaychocolatehomicide]

People You Want to Get to Know Tag Game

I was tagged by @inquisimer !

Hello new friend!! Sorry for the delay, this is the second time I'm typing this out because Tumblr ate the first one! Thank you so much for tagging me! (Also, I have no idea how much enthusiasm is appropriate here, so I'm just gonna go for "a bunch" and you can let me know if I need to back off lol)

So! Into the thing!

Last Song: Top of My School by Katherine Lynn-Rose -- This one has had a grip on my spine since I first heard it. Gotta love that kid burnout 👉👉

Favorite Color: Purple! I also love seafoam/mint and like 85% of my stuff is one of those colors. My brother says it makes it easier to buy stuff for me!

Last Movie/Show: I've been watching Dimension 20's Fantasy High and I'm 4-ish episodes into The Seven, which is also in that universe. Cannot recommend it enough! (Also, Persephone Valentine is in it so there's another reason for any girl likers to check it out)

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: oh boy so I've got a ton of sensory stuff that makes food Complicated for me, but if we except all the stuff I can't eat, sweet > savory > spicy. Salty should go between sweet and savory tho imo

Relationship Status: happily coming up on 3 years with my wonderful partners! They both have tumblrs but I'm not gonna tag them for privacy reasons (their preferences). I just refer to them as my boyfriend and my noodle associate, respectively.

Last Thing I Googled: Thorn (letter) -- I needed it for a thing I was writing lmao. Fun fact, I have the long s (this guy: ſ ) saved as a text shortcut in my phone so I can use it to harass my friends

Current Obsession: I've been playing BG3 and Pathfinder: WOTR, but I can feel the Fire Emblem obsession creeping up on me again. I've been working on a couple old fics from 3 houses and some more recent stuff from engage and I can just... Feel it.

Last Book: I'm reading and annotating a memoir for my boyfriend, and I'm reading the Alana the Lioness books by Tamora Pierce for my noodle associate (very important part of their childhood). On my own I'm reading the Federalist Papers because I'm that kind of nerd (and I teach history but thats beside the point)

Looking Forward To: it's about to be AP season at my tutoring job and I'm so freaking jazzed to get to teach my favorite subjects instead of just SAT Reading/Writing all day every day. Like dgmw I love teaching grammar as much as the next language nerd, but I miss talking about the absolutely out of pocket things historical figures got up to.

Tagging Forward To: @fuitgummybat | @offbrandcrisis | @thiefbird | @satanic-fruitcake | @thevanillahorizon | @transfenris-truther | @bimyheel | @eye-of-yelough | @mirthcrowned

If we're mutuals and I didn't tag you, I still love you, but the template said pick nine so I grabbed folks off the top of my notifs

No pressure to anybody, but I'd love to learn stuff about you! 💜💜

Blank template under the cut

Last Song:

Favorite Color:

Last Movie/Show:

Sweet/Savory/Spicy:

Relationship Status:

Last Thing I Googled:

Current Obsession:

Last Book:

Looking Forward To:

Tag nine people whose answers you're interested in!

[vikygoestheextramile]

Hello, Tumblr, dear old friend!

Tumblr has been my home through some really hard and challenging times in the past. There was a time when I found community here, on this blog, a community that helped me pull through, thrive even, on a fitness journey, and a time when I found my sole consolation through the darkest of times, on my main blog (anotheryearinheaven).

I have struggled in my relationship with my body since I was a teen, and the year before the last, a new challenge arose when I faced some serious medical issues, which I think I feel okay sharing: For 4 months we thought I had ovarian cancer and would have to remove all my reproductive organs. I was blessed to find out it wasn't the case, but for the duration of these months my world did turn upside down, and I turned to food as I very often have done in the past in my difficult moments.

Thankfully, through all the process, I had my gem of a life partner to help me pull through, mentally. But, the struggle with my body became even more difficult, as I reached new highs on the scale, and highs I've not been able to drop from in the last 2 years. I'm struggling tbh. I'm at a place where I don't recognize my own body, and haven't been for a while.

But, on the flipside, I'm pretty sure that right now is the first time since then when I feel like I can actually take up the challenge of, well, DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Right now, I am away from home for a 3 week job that ends on November 1st. This photo is right before a staff party at my current workplace, where I actually PUT MAKE UP ON, and kind of, recognized myself in the mirror, so I had to commemorate with a photo. Being in a body where I feel uncomfortable in, has made me pull away from things like putting make-up on, or dressing up, or doing anything that would normally make me feel beautiful. So, that's a start!

With my return home next week, I hope to regain the safe space this blog has been for me in the past, and use that to support my endeavors, and everyone else's along the way. I'm actually very happy, because the last couple of times I tried to return to this blog for the same reasons, the community seemed to be distant at best, which resulted in me departing again. But since being back here, it has been a pleasant surprise to me how vibrant it once again is! 😊 In time, I hope to share more on here, as I once used to.

So, happy trails, everyone! It's good to be back!

🌺🌺🌺

[hunniebunnietarot]

I mean...it's kindddaa twilight themed, right? Black+red=vampires lol Enjoy!

Hopefully everyone finds this interesting and helpful. Also, thank you sooo much for all of the followers, i've been busy lately, but i'll try to post more! I appreciate all of you<3

Why Didn't You Get Closure?

This person was kind of cowardly and equally as sneaky. They may have enjoyed making you question yourself and how they felt about you, it made them feel powerful. They enjoyed the ups and downs caused by the instability of this connection. Freezing you out was a normal thing for them, maybe they blocked you more than once(or vice versa). This person could have moved away physically from you, thus escaping without having to take responsibility for anything(could’ve been a move for a new job overseas). They kind of got what they wanted from you and decided to pick up and leave afterward, without a care in the world. For some, you also didn’t respond how they thought you would, and were like “If they aren’t going to come searching for answers, then they don’t deserve any”, a very petty energy.

What Would They Have Said?

“I’m going to have a new start”

“I was lying to you the entire time”

“You knew deep down”

“False relationship/false start”

“I’m not who you think I am”

“This is best for us both”

I see that they would have been blunt, telling you about everything they’ve ever done wrong since knowing them. Some of those things would really shock you because you’d never suspect them. They would point out that you both upheld this unstable relationship knowing that it was bad for both parties. They would then say how this would be a chance for them to be a better person and heal their toxic ways.

For Those Who Need Help Moving Forward

You’re moving onto bigger and better things. Don’t let a toxic person cause you to be so guarded. It’s okay to be cautious, just make sure you don’t self sabotage when it comes to new things and people. This cycle of heartbreak and betrayal is approaching an end for you. If you were asking about a past romantic partner, you will be meeting a new love interest sometime moving forward. They will be good for you, and your heart. It’s destined. One broken heart isn’t the end, I promise.

Why Didn’t You Get Closure?

This person felt like it was already done, as if you had that final conversation about wanting to cut ties. They were so wrapped up in how they saw the situation that they didn't stop to ask about how you felt. There’s an unintentionally selfish energy here from this person. If this was a romantic relationship, they felt like you had already learned all you needed to learn from being with each other and that it was time to move on. They knew that if you guys had that last conversation that they would be in their feelings again, wanting to keep trying to be together. For some, there may have been some external circumstances that created a situation where you couldn’t be together, because they didn’t necessarily want the relationship to end, but they felt like it had to.

What Would They Have Said?

“I’ve loved/liked you for a long time”

“Too much history”

“I admire you”

“This hurts/this sucks”

“We have no control over this”

They would definitely cry. They have a genuinely remorseful energy when it comes to this. Helpless.

For Those Who Need Help Moving Forward

If you need to cry, cry. Emotions are meant to be felt, not suppressed. You don’t have to lose your mind and go insane, but it is perfectly healthy to express how you feel if that’s what you want to do. Allowing yourself is your first step to having closure in any situation, it’s something you can do for yourself. Eventually your tears will run dry and you’ll feel a smile coming in replacement. Focus on school/work and give it time!

Why Didn’t You Get Closure?

They wanted to protect themselves. This is a person that has a history of being betrayed by people, so they left before you had the chance to…This was definitely self sabotage on their part. They felt themselves liking you a bit too much and panicked. It’s kind of like they are not at all aware that what they did would affect you in any kind of way because they’re too busy being paranoid. Instead of waiting it out, they jumped the gun and came to their own conclusion. 

What Would They Have Said?

“I moved/reacted too fast”

“In my head”

“I was impulsive, I’m sorry”

“You’re everything I want”

They would definitely take it back and try to undo their mistake. They’d be kind of embarrassed like “Damn, wtf was I thinking”. They wouldn’t see it as a big deal and would want to continue where you left off.

For Those Who Need Help Moving Forward

For those who are asking about a recent situation, this has yet to happen and will sometime moving forward. If they do come back, it is entirely your decision to take them back into your life. Listen to your heart and do what’s best for you. Make sure you get the complete truth out of them before making the decision.

Why Didn’t You Get closure?

They’re immature/young and don’t know how to handle situations. They took on too much, and weren't ready for what they were getting into. Doesn’t matter if it was a platonic, familial, or romantic situation; they couldn’t handle your connection and work/school at the same time. For others, they committed and then realized that wasn’t what they really wanted so they backtracked.They definitely felt like you were holding them back in the financial department.

What Would They Have Said?

“I didn’t know”

“I got distracted”

“I was scared”

“Conflicted”

They would’ve been short with you. They genuinely don’t know what they want, it’s so hard for me to interpret the cards…I keep getting distracted. Maybe they would talk in circles and what they say may not be enough in your opinion.

For Those Who Need Help Moving Forward

Let the hurt go, if you have any. You have such a prosperous future ahead of you. You need to take this experience as a lesson and learn from it, but do not hold a grudge when it comes to this. Release it, and financial abundance will make its way towards you. I also see a family(partner, kids) if you want one.

[peskellence]

Pairing: RK900/Gavin Reed

Tags: Post Pacifist Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Masterlist

Read on AO3 here:

Summary: A lot has changed since the revolution. Crimes against androids are now punished in the same way as crimes against humans. A reluctant Gavin Reed and his new partner RK900 have been assigned to investigate a string of disturbing murders. Despite the shift in Detroit's social climate, Gavin still holds reservations about whether or not androids are truly alive. Will his developing feelings for 'Nines' be the thing to change this?

Warnings: Graphic Violence, Depression/Self Destructive Behaviour, Eventual Smut

Word Count: 3.3K

As they pulled up to the crime scene, cornered off by a strip of police fencing, Gavin spotted a familiar face amongst the patrolling officers.

"Well, look who it is", he mumbled, grinning broadly through the window. As the car came to a stop, Gavin quickly unbuckled himself before swinging the passenger door open. "I'll go and see what's happening. You wait in the car, and I'll call you, okay?". 

Gavin did not bother to wait for Nines' response, as he was already out of the vehicle and striding down the sidewalk. His target had their back turned to him, talking with a set of pedestrians, likely trying to steer them away.

"Chris!" He called out, trying to get their attention, "Long time no see".

Officer Chris Miller turned around, smiling nervously as he saw Gavin approach. He extended a hand politely towards the older man, which Gavin took graciously, squeezing tight. 

"Nice to see you, Gavin", Chris said, wincing slightly at the firmness of the grip. "Yeah, it's been a minute. I saved up my vacation days to spend some time with Ange and Damien. Since I came back, I've mostly been on desk duty". 

Gavin scoffed in disbelief before folding his arms. "Four years on the force and already pushing pencils? Come on, man, do better". 

"It isn't like that, really. I love being on the frontlines, but after what happened last year..." Chris was overcome with a far-off look as if preoccupied with something deeply troubling "I can't take any more chances. I have a family to care for now". 

"Nah, I get it", Gavin assured, nudging Chris playfully on the shoulder. "I mean, I don't get it get it. Not a family man myself. Seems boring as Hell - but whatever works for you". 

"Oh," Chris said, seemingly taken aback. "What about you and that Jack guy? I thought you two were getting serious". 

Gavin felt a pang of bitterness at the mention of his ex. He nibbled on the inside of his mouth, struggling to fight the knee jerk instinct to chew Chris out for his blunder. "We were. Until he decided to trade me in for a younger model". 

"Ahh, I see...sorry to hear that", Chris apologised, rubbing the back of his neck, "At least you've got Tiffany to keep you company. How is she doing these days?". 

The conversation was cut prematurely by the loud slam of a car door. Nines had emerged from the driver's seat, its already severe expression marred with a deep grimace. Its eyes were trailing its surroundings, studying every detail closely, before locking onto Gavin and Chris. 

"Apologies for intruding on such a touching reunion, but I would appreciate it if you could refrain from idle chit-chat, Detective Reed. We have a job to complete". 

Chris stumbled backwards. He stared at Nines with trepidation, no doubt intimidated by its intense stare and imposing stature. Gavin knew that Chris had lost his nerve when it came to androids. Following his encounter with a group of revolutionaries that had almost killed him, it was more than understandable. 

"Hey, I, uh...I don't think we've met," Chris managed to stumble out, trying to stay as courteous as possible. 

"Officer RK900, Serial Number 313 248 317 - 87", Nines titled its head sharply, looking Chris up and down with severe judgment. "You appear to be nervous, Officer Miller, so I'll keep this brief. There is no need for drawn-out introductions". 

Gavin cursed under his breath, the persistent migraine that Nines was giving him making him question his entire career path. "Could you not have stayed in the car? For five fucking minutes?". 

Nines snapped around to face Gavin, the movement unnaturally rigid and stiff. It raised its eyebrows in a bemused expression as if daring Gavin to elaborate further, "You have no authority over me, Detective. There was no reason to oblige to your request". 

They were at a standoff, as Nines seemed to will him on, and Gavin tried desperately to avoid rising to the bait. The android could taunt him all it liked, but there was nothing he could do about it. 

It had already proven to him its physical capabilities. Outside of the protection of the precinct, Gavin didn't feel like testing how much the assertion that it 'wasn't willing to fight him' actually rang true. After the week he'd been having, all Gavin wanted was to go home to his shitty apartment and drink himself stupid. The sooner he could get there, the better. 

Chris cleared his throat, trying to break the tension brewing in the silence. "Do you want me to show you to the victim Gavin?".

Gavin sighed in relief, eagerly turning his attention away from his partner. "You read my mind. Nines, feel free to do your analysis thingy - or whatever you android detectives like to call it". 

The two human officers walked away, leaving Nines to stand alone by the perimeter of the barricade. For a moment, Gavin was confident that the android would follow. If anything, just to spite him. To his relief, however, it crouched down and ran its fingers across the loose gravel, seemingly preparing for a scan. 

Gavin watched over his shoulder, only truly relaxing when they had turned a corner and left Nines out of view. He was relieved to get away from it, if only for a little while. 

"Gavin" Chris began, sounding more than a little uneasy, "Who the Hell was that?". 

"My new partner. An RK900", Gavin deadpanned. "It's like Connor, but they dialled its 'Pompuous Prick' setting up to a-hundred-and-ten". 

"Why does it look like it wants to rip you apart?".

"I think that's just its face. Having said that it fucking hates me, so I guess there's some merit behind it". 

"I don't mean to be rude, but he's kind of...creepy. How did you upset the Captain enough to get paired up with him?"

"It's part of my 'tolerance boot camp'", Gavin said with air quotes, mimicking his Captain's tone in a poor impersonation. "Which is  horseshit,  incidentally. I'm plenty tolerant of these plastic pricks. I just don't buy into this 'androids are people too' bull". 

"I mean, the revolution changed a lot of things" Chris responded back, clearly trying to stay diplomatic despite his own reservations. "But this guy is - I don't know. What's that old movie you're always going on about? The one with the killer robots?". 

"Terminator ", Gavin clarified, snickering to himself. "I've always said that CyberLife is just babies first Skynet". 

Chris led Gavin to a sectioned-off alleyway before encouraging him forward. The asphalt turned into a narrow strip of loose cobblestone, framed on either side by tall graffitied walls. The floors were covered in food waste and other garbage, leaving Gavin to wonder why anybody in their right mind would ever wish to go down there. 

"The report came through about an hour ago: The victim was supposed to meet a friend for coffee but never showed up, so the friend got worried and decided to investigate. That's when she found the body". 

What's an android going to do on a coffee date?  Gavin silently pondered before getting himself back on track. "How did the friend know where to look for them?" 

"The victim was very methodic. Took the same route every morning ". 

"I mean, it's an android. Guess that figures. Sure didn't pick the scenic route, though". 

As they walked further down the alleyway, Gavin focused in on a crowd of forensic investigators. In amongst mummers of discussion, distressed whimpers could also be heard. They were distinctly inhuman. 

Gavin felt a nervous tug in his chest - like he was about to walk into something far more unpleasant than just a broken android. 

"What was that?".

As if clocking the concern in Gavin's tone, Chris looked at him reassuringly, "The victim's dog - but don't worry, it's not hurt. Poor little guy is just really freaked out". 

The investigators began to clear a path for Chris and Gavin, allowing them a better vantage point. When Gavin finally saw the victim, it was total carnage. 

The android was lying face down on the floor, the back of its head wholly caved in. All that remained was a fractured mess of plastic and blue blood - intermingled with synthetic hair. One of its arms had been ripped from its torso and was nowhere to be seen. The second arm had been mostly amputated but was left partially attached by a few strands of cabling. 

"Jesus, what a mess..." Gavin remarked, leaning in for closer inspection. The victim had been bludgeoned, no doubt about it, with deep indents and crevices grooved into its central processing unit. "Looks like the fucker bashed its head with a brick or something". 

The victim's dog whimpered helplessly as Gavin attempted to touch the android. One of the attending officers held it back, attempting to soothe it best they could, but it was continuously trying to struggle away. It was a tiny animal, fitting snuggly into the officer's arms. Its large black eyes were filled with immeasurable sadness, and Gavin felt his heart aching. 

Throughout his years of service, he had become well-versed in detaching himself from human suffering. With animals, though, he found this impossible. There was something profoundly tragic in a pet mourning the loss of its owner, and it never got easier.  

"Hey, little guy," Gavin said, voice uncharacteristically soft and gentle. He approached the dog slowly, careful not to startle it, and crouched down to its level. He held out a hand in invitation, waiting patiently for the dog to respond. It took a few tenuous sniffs before seeming to calm down. 

"I'm sorry about your friend," Gavin said, giving the dog's head a gentle pat. "We'll find someone else to take care of ya, I promise". 

The officer looked back at Gavin and smiled sadly. "We've called the local shelter and explained the situation. I'd take him home myself, but my husband would kill me".

"Yeah, I can relate", Gavin chuckled. "It's tempting, but I don't think my cat would be thrilled."

He noticed the copper tag hanging off the dog's collar and held it up for closer inspection. Engraved in CyberLife sans was the name 'Marshmallow' - alongside an illustration of a bone. 

Gavin smiled.

A cutie like you will get adopted in seconds.

When he brought his attention back to the crime scene, Gavin noted how the alleyway seemed to hit a sudden dead end. He stared at the wall confused and began searching for other exit points. 

"There's a cut-through further down", Chris informed, pointing to the end of the alley. "It takes you through a yard and back to the streets, but it's walled up for another block or two".  

Gavin placed a hand on the wall that Chris had pointed to and trailed his fingers across the brick, slowly moving forward. He was met with a sudden dip and the cold sensation of metal wire. As promised, a break in the wall was sectioned off by a chainlink fence. Alongside this fence was a gate, pulled slightly ajar. 

"Isn't that convenient? Perfect place to change their clothes" Gavin peered through the fence, pulling it further back. A low creak emanated from the rusty hinges. "The bastard must have bashed that android's skull at least a dozen times. They would have been covered in blue blood by the end". 

"The victim was struck precisely forty-six times", A calm voice swiftly corrected him. "So more than a dozen. The first two blows will have been enough to incapacitate it. Anything beyond would have served no purpose but to satiate the killer's sadistic pleasure".  

"Oh goody, the fun is back", Gavin mumbled sarcastically, making no attempt to look behind him. "Had enough of licking the sidewalk?". 

Chris stepped to one side, allowing Nines some room. Gavin sighed despondently as the android settled beside him, inching closer as if refusing to be ignored. 

"Your description of my analytical capabilities is both crude and wildly inaccurate. I was analysing DNA traces that may prove significant to our investigation. Having found nothing, I can assure you that this was a contained attack". 

"Yeah, no shit," Gavin snorted. "The guy wasn't about to start cracking skulls in the middle of the street. What I want to know is how the android didn't clock that someone was following it". 

Nines looked down at the victim, gaze narrowed in concentration. It was silent as it scanned the body from head to toe. Once finished, it turned to Gavin with a frustrating air of confidence. 

"Isn't it obvious?".

Gavin sneered, "No, it isn't. My inferior human mind cannot comprehend. You'll have to enlighten me, o' plastic messiah". 

Nines crouched next to the victim and picked out a small, black object from the fragments of its synthetic skull. As soon as the android picked it up, the thing in its hand blinked to life, illuminated by a small ultraviolet ring. 

"Wireless headphones". 

Gavin cursed inwardly, kicking himself for missing such an obvious detail. Despite this, he feigned disinterest, pulling the gate back and stepping through the threshold. "Still, it didn't hear  anything ? I thought you things were supposed to have super senses". 

Stepping into the yard, there were remnants of mechanical parts and old discarded vehicles everywhere he looked. It had clearly been used as a scrap yard at some point but was long since abandoned, judging by the levels of rust and decay. Amongst the wreckages, nothing initially stood out as having any significance. That was until Gavin spotted what he initially assumed to be a black cleaning rag tucked under a car windscreen wiper. 

He picked up the fabric and noted the broken, melted edge of the synthetic material. Despite this, it seemed new - and was placed far too conspicuously to simply be there out of coincidence. 

Like a shitty note left by a neighbour, whoever had left the material there had wanted someone to find it. 

Taking it back to the primary crime scene, Gavin arrived just in time to see Nines standing up from beside the victim. It seemed ready to say something, but Gavin quickly cut it off before it had a chance, abruptly pushing the material into its face. 

"Hey, Robocop, do an analysis on this", he demanded. 

Nines was visibly taken aback. It zoned in on the material before it raised its eyebrows questioningly. "This appears to be litter, Detective. I think you'll also find plenty this side of the fence". 

"Oh no, I don't think it is", Gavin corrected, waving the material proudly. "I bet good money it's a little present left behind by our culprit". 

Synthetic eyes rolled back into the android's skull. It chuckled condescendingly before turning back to Gavin as if ready to humour him. 

"Very well". 

It examined the material with dull, unfocused eyes - until something lit up inside them. It seemed, at that moment, to be in utter disbelief as it shot an accusing glare back to Gavin. 

"Where did you find this?"

"Tucked under a windscreen wiper".

"Impossible", Nines shook its head. "Our killer would never purposely leave such incriminating evidence...unless they are truly so confident we will never catch up to them".

"Oh, so it is important?" Gavin's mouth twisted into a large, saccharine grin "Not garbage after all?". 

"Quiet", Nines demanded, holding out a hand. "Give it to me so I may pass this on to the forensic investigators".

"Ah, ah, ah, not so fast", Gavin teased, holding back his arm and keeping his find well out of the android's reach. "I want you to tell me what it is first. Don't be shy".

Nines pursed its lips, clearly reluctant to give Gavin his desired satisfaction. Eventually, it conceded, closing its eyes in frustration as it spoke.

"100% waterproof polyester. There are traces of Thirium belonging to an MJ100 android. No doubt our victim. It has been purposefully singed at the edge, likely with a lighter, to detach it from a larger garment ".

"Hmm, 100% polyester..." Gavin repeated, tapping his chin with his finger "...Detached from a larger garment...." He purposefully drew out his words, enjoying his momentary victory over the android. "Gee, with the blue blood and all, you would think it might have belonged to our killer". 

"An astute deduction indeed. I am sure that you are exceptionally proud of yourself", Nines' tone was flat and unenthused, as it continued to hold out its hand toward Gavin, fingers tensed impatiently. "Forensics may be able to determine some greater specifics. Give it to me". 

"Not unless you say please".

Having clearly exhausted the minuscule supply of patience it had, Nines reached forward with lightning precision and snatched the material from Gavin's fingers. It all seemed to happen faster than Gavin could process, leaving him feeling thoroughly cheated. 

"Hey, what are you -". 

"I have information of my own that I wish to share with you", Nines clipped back, cheeks tinged with a subtle blue. It looked a little disheveled, with some of the stands of its meticulously styled hair falling out of place "An effective partnership is built on the merits of cooperation and cohesion. Not childish attempts at one-upmanship".

Gavin scowled back at the android, his momentary good mood quickly dissipating. He moved to snatch the material back, but Nines counteracted, maintaining a distance between them. Realising it was pointless, and with a sigh, Gavin soon relented "Go on, Stretch Armstrong. We haven't got all day".

Nines nodded, seemingly pleased by Gavin's cooperation. It regained some of its lost composure, smoothing its hair back into place, and placing its hands behind its back. "I thought about what you said regarding the victim's hearing. Even with headphones on, a functioning MJ100 would have been tuned in acutely to its surroundings. It would have known it was being followed -

The issue is, our victim was not functioning at full capacity at the time of the attack". 

"In what way?", Gavin pressed.

"My postmortem analysis indicates that the android's audio processors were critically damaged".

Gavin gasped dramatically, holding a hand to his mouth in feigned surprise. "You mean to tell me that when you smash something with a brick, it breaks? What a revelation". 

Nines frowned back at him, clearly unamused by the Detective's theatrics "Try not to be so obtuse. The audio processors were damaged before the attack: The result of a factory defect that affected many units in the same batch. It will have caused distortion, making it difficult for the victim to pick up on more than one auditory stimuli at any given time". Nines reached into its jacket pocket, retrieving what appeared to be a small slip of paper heavily stained with blue blood. "Aside from the prerequisite anti-android slogan, I also found this tucked into the remnants of the victim's central processing unit". 

Gavin studied the paper, unsure what exactly he was looking at "I can't see shit".

"You wouldn't. The Thirium is still fresh, making it extremely difficult for the human eye to detect anything else. There is, however, a hidden message - written in pencil".

"What does it say?"

"69 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 73 6c 61 79 20 74 68 65 20 6d 65 63 68 61 6e 69 63 61 6c 20 64 65 6d 6f 6e 73". 

Gavin stared back at Nines, utterly bewildered, before blinking slowly. "Did you just have a stroke or something?". 

"Machines are incapable of hemorrhaging. I also lack arteries". 

"Well, do you need to reboot then?" Gavin pressed, "Because I don't know if you noticed, but what you just said wasn't English". 

"I suspect it is. Simply encrypted". 

"This guy thinks he's so clever, huh..." Gavin remarked, biting his thumbnail. "Leaving behind all this cryptic bullshit". 

"They clearly enjoy toying with law enforcement", Nines agreed, "Having said that, they wish to make their views quite plain to the public. The written slogans leave very little for interpretation". 

"So what was the message this time?"

"ANIMALS ARE FOR HUMANS. PROPERTY CAN'T OWN PETS".

[robinismywifee]

Back to the Old House - Chapter 4

August 23rd, 2034

[4 weeks, 5 days since beginning of Chapter 3]

Raines age: 16 years, 6 months

Ellies age: 15 years, 3 months

CW: none?

Words: 1920

Masterlist

Raines POV:

Today is the first day of patrol. Maria was super impressed at the gun range and she gave me a week before doing the real patrol job, just making sure I was ready to be around new people, taking me out to eat and shit.

It's been difficult, but I need to pull my head out of my ass.

I woke up early, 6am, patrol started at 7am, but Maria wanted me to eat beforehand. I brushed out the knots in my hair and brushed my teeth, got dressed, just jeans and a black tanktop, as it was still summertime, and my black canvas shoes.

I swung my bag over my shoulder and equipped my holster around my theigh for my gun.

"Hey Maria" I said in a sleepy voice, rubbing my eyes, making my way into the kitchen where Maria sat at the stool infront the counter.

"Hey, you seem tired. You sure you're still up for it?" she said, sipping something out of a steaming mug.

"Yeah yeah, i'm sure- it's just early"

She nodded, "you want some?" she gestured to her cup, "uh, what is it?"

"Coffee" she smiled proud, "oh, no thanks, never had it. Wouldn't wanna waste any"

"You sure you don't wanna try? It has caffeine in it, get you out of your tired mood"

"Not really, i'll be fine with water."

"Would you rather us go to get breakfast or me make you something?"

"Uh.."

Well I would definitely rather stay here to get food, but I should probably go out to eat so i'm not too overwhelmed with meeting this Jesse guy.

"Let's go out?"

Maria smiled, she gulped down the last splashes of her coffee, placing the now empty mug on the table, "i'm glad you said that"

୨♡୧

After I ate only half my food, since it felt like i was gonna puke if I ate anymore, me and Maria left to go to the stables.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't finish it.." I practically mumbled to her as we walked

"What? No. Don't be. You probably have lots of anxiety right now and i'm proud that you even tried. I'm also very proud that you're going out of your comfort zone to do this job."

I felt confused. Why is Maria so nice to me?

she wouldn't be if she knew the real me.

I stayed quiet. Thinking of how happy her words made me feel and thinking of how much I didn't deserve to feel that happiness.

"Hey" Maria waved to the guy who worked at the stables once we arrived, "We're gonna have you take this guy. We found her injured a few months ago but shes healed since, and fully trained. She's a good girl who was in need of an owner. She doesn't have a name yet either, so feel free to name her. This will be both of you guys first time on patrol" Maria smiled, as she handed me the horses rein.

I nodded, getting up on the horse. "perfect, now just follow me" Maria said softly, I followed next to her slowly riding my horse until we made it to infront the exist, I saw 7 other people on horses. They all looked to range from ages 18-30.

"Sorry for the wait. We got new patrol people, this is Raine" Maria introduced me to everyone, as I shyly waved. It felt weird considering i've been in town for weeks now, and yet I only know about 6 people, 2 of them I dont even know the names of.

"Hey Raine! I'm Jesse" one of the people said, it was the guy closest to me and looked to be the same age as me. His smile was gentle and he seemed nice. Maybe this won't be too bad.

"Hi" I awkwardly said, unsure of what else to say as he already knew my name.

"Great, I hope you two become friends as you'll be working together from now on, that is if everything goes well, but im certain it will."

Maria continued to talk about saftey precautions and which partner group was taking which route, Jesse already had taken this route before from when he had did group patrol, so I was basically just gonna have to follow him.

Once the gate opened, every partner group went separate ways, and it was just me and Jesse.

"So, I heard you came in weeks ago and was in the hospital for awhile. I also heard you got out of it weeks ago, where you've been?" Jesse asked in a curious tone, glancing to the side to look at me for my answer. When I opened my mouth nothing came out, he spoke up before I could make an embarrassing scene. "Sorry, that could be very personal, I dont wanna overstep anything.."

"Uh- no it's fine. I- I was just um.. I mean, I was in a coma? So I was recovering.. from it.. i've been staying at Maria and Tommy's place."

God, I sound so fucking stupid. Also im lying. I've been done recovering, i've just been staring at the wall in bed letting my own thoughts consume me.

"Oh, thats cool. Maria and Tommy are nice dudes."

It was awkward silence since I didn't know how to reply, and by the time I thought of just saying 'yeah' it was too late to reply.

"So what's it like being in a coma? I heard you dream some weird stuff- oh, and when people visited you, could you hear them?"

I softly smiled at his excited banter, he actually felt nice to be around and didn't make me that type of uncomfortable yet.

"Uhh, no weird dreams that I remember. Just was sorta blank. And, I wouldn't know. It's not like anyone vistied me"

"What do you mean? Of course she vi-" Jesse started saying, but stopped talking in the middle of his sentance. I scrunched my brows confused.

"Uhh.. sorry," he let out a dry chuckle, "forgot what I was gonna say"

What the fuck was that about?

I nodded, feeling awkward.

"Uhhhmm. So what made you wanna do patrol?"

Jesse asked, "Oh, just thought i'd be good and could help out."

"Nice.." Jesse nodded looking at me, as I stared down at my horses mane. "same.." he said, stretching out the A.

"Welp, Maria had us take a short route since its our first time and we're young, so.. here we are"

Jesse said, once we made it some office type building.

I didn't say anything, we entered it and Jesse signed us in. "You don't talk much, do you?"

"Guess not."

He nodded, pukering his lips and blowing air out. "Hey, you wanna know a fun fact about me?"

"Uh.. not really?" I asked, confused of why he kept trying to talk to me as we searched the building. "Can I tell you anyway?"

I shrug, not caring.

"Okay, well, my girlfriend, is actually the one that found you. You know, like right before you passed out in that coma."

My eyebrow's scrunched, and my face visibly showed confusion. What is he talking about? Ellie was the one that found me and shes not into gu-

"Dina, is her name"

Oh right. They were in groups.

I nodded, "Nice" I said not knowing how else to respond. "I think you and Dina could be friends. You'll have to meet her one of these days"

"No thanks" I said, cutting him off. He looked at me confused, "Oh- I just meant, i'm not really.. a social person, and meeting you is enough for me.. for awhile.."

His confusion dropped as he understood. "Gotcha. Well, still, it's a small town, you're gonna have to meet her eventually. But yeah, sure, take your time"

The rest of the patrol was boring silence broken up with Jesse throwing in information about himself that I didn't need to know. He even told me his shoe size? He's kinda weird. But definitely better then most, he wasn't being weird to me in that way at all and I feel like I could relax around him.

We finished the job and made it back to Jackson. It only took us a few hours since we had a short and recently cleared route. We didn't run into any infected or anything.

The people at the gates said hello to Jesse and welcomed us back, I figured that they didn't know my name. We rode to the stables, the stables were empty except for the same person working from before, and a black haired girl standing off to the side, looking as if she was waiting for something. She looked odly familiar.

Jesse was infront of me when I heard the girl speak up excitedly, "Jesse! How was it?"

Jesse smiled, "Hey Dina,"

So thats her? Fuck I hope Jesse doesnt try and make me introduce myself.

"It was pretty chill, we had a short route and no trouble. No infected or anything."

Jesse got off his horse and put the horse in its assigned stable, while I did the same. I saw from the corner of my eye Jesse and Dina hugging.

I could feel their eyes on me once they stopped hugging. "Raine? This is Dina"

I took a breath before turning around, "Hi" I mumbled, barley audible. "Hi, it's nice to meet you. I'm glad to see you up!"

Are you though?

I nodded slightly, pressing a fake smile that I thought was convincing when in reality it wasnt at all, and then turned around to leave.

Once I left the stables and was out of their view, I heard Jesse apologizing for my behavior.

Why the fuck do I act like that?

I speed walked to Marias with my head down, feeling my heart pump fast. My cheeks were red from embarrassment.

Once I got to the house, Maria was already in the living room, and was alerted by me slamming the door shut that I was back.

She got off from the couch and ran over to me, "Raine? Whats wrong, did you get hurt? Did you get bit?" Maria asked me in a calm voice, but you could hear panic and worry behind it.

"No- no im fine-" I took a deep breath, feeling my cheeks grow more red from being even more embarrassed, since I was starting to have a hard time breathing over it.

"Well what's wrong? Was it too soon to go out?"

I shook my head, bringing my hands to cover my face, "No, I just- I dont know, I think it was just- alot, for such a short time." I breathed out, pushing past Maria to get water from the kitchen.

"Oh, i'm sorry hun, are you gonna hold off on patrol for awhile, or are you gonna stick with it?"

She asked, following behind me to the kitchen.

"No- I can still do it. Im fine. Tomorrow at the same time?"

She nodded, "Are you sure? How was Jesse? Do you want to switch him for someone else?"

I immediately shook my head no. That would just cause more trouble, and I would have to meet another person.

Before Maria could talk more, I took my water and went to my room.

[worldwright]

good evening ! im super early today bc im dying lmao

man, it was so fucking hard to fall asleep after my war against that fucking stinkbug, and someone i wont name fucking deserted and left her leader to fight this great and horrifying enemy

anyway, i checked which fucking painkiller i can take, and the only one i can is paracetamol but this fucker does nothing to my headaches, so im switching entirely to water from tea bc it works better than a fucking painkiller

i slept bad (what a surprise), my father woke me up bc he couldnt find me (man, the only day he wants to know where the fuck i am is the only where i dont wnat him to find him), a headache is there and my nap didnt help ;-; but at least i finished my second watch of glass onion (started last week) and watched the episode of dunmesh and now i can say w/o any doubt that chilchuck is my fav -he was from the very beginning but ude, now im sure)

ill be able to finally sleep in my bed tonight yay

and here a picture the coward from this morning (or icecream, or latte, or whatever you like to compare her to. my friends call her "table basse" [coffee table] or "chieng en format familial" [familiy-sized doggo]. youre too kind with your nicknames for her lol)

have a wonderful morning with your partner my friend !

o how decadent is her lounging !! would that we could all feel the same peace 😌❤️

(no that is not proper English grammar don't copy me 😭😭)

hehe tiny emojis 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🍃🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

immmmmm so excited to hang out with people I felt like I was withering lmfao

I think I'm gonna go up to see all my friends next weekend, since all of them are once again living in their dream life shared apartment with the besties ughhhh I can't wait to live there

the new office manager at my job is so cool :3 he's incredibly gay lmfao

I've officially caught up on apothecary diaries. ugh what do I do with my life now

obviously the answer is wait impatiently for every new episode and write analysis posts in the meantime

mmm I wanna reread witch hat atelier...... next week downtime obsession found 👍👍

egg salad last night was all right! I accidentally added too much mayonnaise and then had to overcorrect from there, so it ended up not having as much egg per volume as it should have. but still tasty and nutritious :3

speaking of food you're SO valid about Chilchuck. he's just ❤️❤️❤️ This Is A Divorced Father Of Three With Extreme Communication Issues ❤️❤️❤️ who looks like a middle schooler 🥰🥰🥰

also chatted with a friend about our fic ideas, which was really fun. the problem is that I have a really fleshed-out AU, but I don't know what actual plot to put in the AU. lol. ahhhhhhh

girlfriend weekend!!!!! girlfriend weekend!!!!!!!!

hope your headache goes away in time for you to get good sleep tonight!!