#+fanart and fanfiction that this whole thing made in LESS THAN A WEEK? AND LIKE COLLABORATIVELY? THIS ISNT JUST TWO PPL DOING THIS LIKEWTF!

[rohan-kishibes-grindr-account]

OKAY THIS IS MIND BOGGLING ITS BEEN LIKE 3 DAYS SINCE THE GONCHING COMMENCED (not counting the og shoe post) AND WE ALREADY CAN GET AUTHETIC GONCHAROV MERCH? if enough of us get these could this possible be the resurrection of “i like your shoelaces”??

Apparently you can just buy these

You can get them here at 110 yen each (0.78 USD at time of posting).

Shipping is 230 yen, free shipping for orders over 2750 yen. You can get black or red but not green.

※TL note: ゴンチャロフ means Goncharov.

Edit: international shipping link here

[mannatea]

Fanfiction writing and posting culture has shifted so much over the last 20 years. Every time I read anything on r/fanfiction, not only do I lose brain cells, but I feel like a huge, huge part of fanfiction culture has moved toward reading only completed works and avoiding engagement at all cost, but particularly until a work is finished. There was a post yesterday by someone celebrating the fact that a fic they had on alert updated because it had "been so long" since the last update: it was a wait of one and a half months.

That isn't that long for a writer with a spouse and/or children and/or a busy career and/or someone busting ass at school and/or a life outside and off the internet.

While a lot of comments did chastise this person for their perceived idea of a long wait for an update, there were also a few comments from readers proclaiming that this was why they never read incomplete works.

Heck, there were one or two (upvoted!) comments about how writers should simply pre-write everything if they wanted feedback.

Don't get me started on the posts by people that read hundreds of fics a week and yet never comment. "Gosh, I wish I there were more fics for xyz." As if there's not something they can do about that by simply commenting on the works that do exist to show the authors the content they made has an audience!

As a fanfic writer specifically, I find this weird attitude toward the creative work of other people more than a bit discouraging (and sometimes deeply uncomfortable). Fanfiction, like fanart, is a social experience. I create a thing and then others engage with it to encourage me to do more of the thing. I am not a machine and I do not exist for your entertainment or pleasure, but the way fandom leans these days would lead you to believe authors and artists exist for the purpose of consumption.

I am a whole person and doing this costs me my time. For a long story, many many hours of time.

I don't think it's asking too much for people who took the time to read a story (and in particular those who enjoy it) to engage with it.

This doesn't even touch the weird "I only read completed fics" mindset and how it feels to see that sentiment echoed as an author.

"Just write it all in advance before posting it then." Do you even know how long it takes to write a story—to write a longform fic with a plot to completion?

Break Open the Sky was 102,000 words long (and this is short compared to a lot of longfics, so keep that in mind). Even if you assume a writing speed of 1,000 words an hour (generous, because some difficult passages will be much slower to write), that is a whopping 102 hours. That doesn't include the time I had to spend to go back and re-read to continue the story. That doesn't include outlining. That doesn't include note-taking. That doesn't including mapping out locations and distance for travel. That doesn't include editing or formatting to post, either, which took hours per chapter.

I have to sacrifice something else to be able to write. No video games, no movies, no books, no television, no nap, no goofing off online.

Comments become a big motivation, especially on a WIP. It doesn't feel like a waste of time then, to get a little less sleep or take a little less time for yourself; it gives the writer something to look forward to: interaction and socialization with fellow fans. And I don't think the cost is that high for a reader compared to the hundreds of hours it might have cost me to be able to show it to them in the first place.

But nope, r/fanfiction is really out there complaining that fics don't update (even though they didn't bother to comment) and that longfics aren't finished before they start being posted (even though they still don't comment as the story is being posted) and then complaining that there aren't enough fics for [ship]/[trope] even though they are really out there refusing to engage in fandom in a meaningful way that might encourage authors whose work they enjoy to continue to create.

TL;DR: creation costs time.

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

Writing smut without cringing the whole time? How do you do it.

Writing Smut 101: Overcoming Smut Shame

CONTENT WARNING: NSFW RELATED CONTENT BELOW.

The short answer, nonnie, is: you don’t. 

That is to say, writing smut is always kind of cringe—especially if you’re new to it, or simply “not in the mood” to write. 

But rest assured, feeling embarrassed is completely natural. The trick is learning how to overcome the cringe when it does happen, instead of letting it deter you.

I’m going to break this up into a few sections: 1) Why you might be feeling this way, 2) How I, personally, combat the issue, and 3) Some more tips that might help you get the ball rolling.

1. Why You “Cringe”

It’s important to find the root cause of any form of writer’s block so you can pull the weed out instead of just trimming it back. Smut writer’s block is its own special brand, and generally, the main issue writers have when it comes to smut is stigma.

Speaking openly and honestly about sex, in Western society, is still very much a taboo.

No matter how “progressive” we like to think we are, the inherent shame surrounding pleasure-seeking experiences, and the detailing/consumption of them, has been ground into us since we learned how to understand the concept of gratification.

And I’m not just talking about sexual gratification. This applies to everyday things, as well. Eating, shopping, relaxing (or doing virtually anything in capitalist society that does not directly contribute to capitalism).

So it makes sense that you would feel any amount of embarrassment, awkwardness, or “cringe” when writing smut. It’s something our society teaches us is wrong to want. Unfortunately, that shame translates to writer’s block when we sit down in front of the computer.

A lot of this blockage might stem from not giving ourselves permission to write the thing.

We’re staring at the blank document, knowing we want to write smut, and suddenly the thoughts start streaming in: This feels wrong, is this wrong? What if someone comes in and looks over my shoulder while I’m writing? Am I describing this right? Is this too unrealistic? I have NO idea what I’m doing, and everyone is going to know it.

These are all perfectly normal thoughts, and definitely ones I still have from time to time. But they’re also probably the direct cause of why you feel so blocked. Luckily, I have some bits of advice to give you on how to unblock yourself.

2. How I Combat Smut Block

✦ First, when the intrusive thoughts occur, instead of ruminating on them, think of each one as an impermanent object. You can use any metaphor, but I like to use the imagery of leaves:

Each negative thought is a leaf floating down the river of your mind. If you focus only on the leaf, you’ll exert a lot of energy running to try and keep up with it, consequently miss everything else around you. But if you acknowledge that leaf as a temporary part of the scenery, and let is pass, you can process and appreciate the beauty of your surroundings a whole lot better.

Remember: you are separate from your thoughts. You are not defined by them. The things you think sound stupid might be incredibly exciting to someone else. 

If you can string a sentence together, you can write smut. This is all part of giving yourself permission to write the thing that makes you feel uncomfortable.

✦ Second, I’d suggest giving good thought to how you personally experience embarrassment, how you experience excitement (of the sexual variety), and how those two might sometimes commingle or feel similar.

For me, they are very comparable, like different shades of the same emotion—but there are differences which are important to note. 

If I’m making myself blush from excitement, this is a very good thing for writing smut. It means that what I’m writing feels real enough to evoke something in the reader, even if the reader, like me, knows what’s going to happen.

If I’m making myself cringe, however, it may be time to take a step back and readjust my perspective.

✦ Third, ease yourself into it! Don’t jump straight in the deep end and expect to know how to keep your head above water if you’ve never swum before.

The way I eased myself into smut was first by writing “Steam”—a category of fic I made up because the current vocabulary lacked an efficient term for fics that straddled emotional romance and explicit content. 

Essentially, steam is smut-adjacent but not explicit, and here’s a step-by-step example of how I transitioned myself smoothly from one genre to the next:

I first wrote my fics Wicked Game and You Are (both of which feature either a heavy make out session or teasing + lots of sexual tension) with this “steam” concept in mind.

I wrote the first chapter of Fine Line, which has brief but explicit descriptions of fantasies, framed by a very sexually charged scene.

I released my fic Crashing, which is probably more of a bridge between Steam and Smut, and features soft-focus fingering. Nothing in it is explicit—it focuses more on the emotions than explicit detail—but it’s very clear what is happening.

After I wrote those, I felt just confident enough to make that final stride over the threshold into smut. I wrote my fics Holy, King, and the second chapter of Fine Line all within weeks of each other.

And trust me when I say, once you get the momentum going and receive that validation from people who’ve read your work, it becomes SO much easier to sit down and start writing. 

You just have to finish that first piece.

✦ Finally (and I know I’m going to sound cliche when I say this), just like any other skill, the more you practice the more confident you will feel and the better you will get. 

So practice, practice, practice! 

If you’re nervous about posting smut for the first time, have a trusted friend/mutual Beta read it for you. It’s the online equivalent to someone holding your hand before jumping off the cliff, and works wonders for the nerves.

3. Keep The Smut Rolling

Now that you have some tools to help get you past the blockage of writing smut, here’s how to keep the inspiration flowing.

✦ Start by incorporating smutty fanfiction/erotic fiction into your regular reading rotation- 

Of course AO3 is a fantastic resource for smutty fanfiction. 

If you’re a fan of TFOTA or ACOTAR and want some of my personal fic recs, visit my fic rec masterlist.

In terms of erotic fiction, my personal favourites are anything Anais Nin (specifically Henry & June and Delta of Venus), The Thornchapel series by Sierra Simone, The Godwicks series by Tiffany Reisz, and The Original Sinners series by Tiffany Reisz.

There are also sites like Literotica and sexstories.com, which play host to explicit short fiction (not fandom based).

✦ Next, I’d recommend having a designated digital space for smutspiration- 

This can be a list of “smutty” words/phrases kept on a separate document on your computer, for those days when you just can’t think of the right way to describe something. 

Or you can create a private side-blog or Pinterest board for your favourite smutty fanart or other kinds of visual smutspiration.

✦ For that matter, try following some smutty/18+ blogs (ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+) here on Tumblr-

Many of them have a plethora of what I like to call “lemony snippets”, a.k.a. short text posts that describe (usually in conversational language) explicit scenarios. 

This is useful because it will normalise the concept of sexual fantasies in your brain, making it less weird for you when you try to come up with ones of your own to write into smut. 

Not to mention, your dash will be rife with inspiration.

✦ I would also suggest checking out 18+ ASMR on YouTube (AGAIN, ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+). 

My favourite account is Professor Cal Official, but Auralescent also has some good content. 

Headphones are highly advisable for this, as their stuff is very dangerous for work.

So, nonnie, I hope this has provided you with at least one helpful tip. Whether you took anything away from this or not, just know that the feelings of embarrassment when it comes to writing smut are entirely normal. And the best way to keep those feelings at bay is to confront them head on. 

-Em 🖤🗡

Writing Advice Masterlist

Writing Masterlist

2K Celebration!

[i-did]

I would like to hear more of your opinions on fandom depictions of Neil, if you don't mind! Your post made me realize some things I wasn't even aware of when reading aftg fic!!

Yeah sure I have a lot of thoughts on this. I think this is an overall fandom issue and not just an aftg fandom issue, but the feminization of neil as well as the ironing out of his personality to make it more palatable is definitely a thing.

I've noticed in a lot of fics hes a lot friendlier, a lot less distrusting, and a lot more oblivious. I also noticed the amount of demand for vixen neil, and neil in dresses and skirts and crop tops, neil crying and being vulnerable isn't a challenge on traditional masculinity because andrew and the other guy foxes don't receive nearly the same amount of demand.

There is heavy emphasis on people wanting not just neil but andrew to be softer, and while that's okay, it's important to remember the moral of aftg is that trauma makes some people hard, and intense and not traditionally likeable, and that those people aren't broken and don't need to be fixed. So when people just, ignore that and make andrew and neil a lot softer, neil always sitting in andrews lap and other things, lots of expressions of PDA, and other out of charter moments, it erases the idea nora was trying to convey.

I've stated before about how the fandom also often doesn't mention body hair but when it does its andrew having facial hair and neil having less typically, but also there is usually emphasis on andrew having a deeper voice than neil, who sometimes gets written almost as whiney and petulant or pouty.

-nsft text below-

I also think there is an overall lack of understanding of mlm culture in fandom which is largely a women's space. I won't go into detail here but how pwp is written (especially a lot of the trans andrew or neil ones) are not with a mlm gaze in mind, after all if it was proper gay porn then only mlm would be turned on by it, but the consumer in mind isn't mlm at all, both because the authors are almost always not mlm, but the readers aren't as well. There is emphasis on neil being more vocal and whining, mewling, whimpering, and moaning, all common in how straight porn treats the woman, while andrew is emphasized in being a lot more quiet, maybe grunting and groaning.

Lingerie is not common in gay porn outside of fanfiction, jock straps?? Thats a thing thats a huge thing, but in all the pwp I've seen of them in their exy gear I haven't seen it mentioned before, not a cup or jock strap or anything like that.

Neil is also the one being put into the lingerie and there is emphasis on him feeling pretty rather than handsome and him being petite and slim rather than a bulky athlete

There is also an overall lack in realism in preparation and dynamics that are physically impossible or unsafe but thats a whole other thing.

This is just off of the top of my head, I can get into the fetishization of trans andrew fics another time thats a whole other thing, but yeah this is just my unprepared thoughts and observations I've noticed.

Fanart also tends to lack the men having bulges, i respect trans hc but i have possibly never seen a flaccid penis in running shorts neil is wearing. They don't go away they sit there and take up space.

-end nsft text-

I have more to say when it comes to the dealings with trauma in fanfiction but for another time. I also have a huge rant about how fanon deals with the race in fics, both nickys canon race as well as the fanon everyone else's race

Overall, people can write what they want to write, and fiction is fiction and i cannot stop anyone from doing anything, and people can interpret the characters how they want. But when writing fiction, the authors own biases can slip though, the charters are written by them after all. An author who writes a torture scene isnt someone who has done that, but an author who writes let's say nicky as even more predatory, slutty, stereotypically gay and "ayeyeyye" in fanfic is unknowingly being racist and homophobic.

A person existing in real life fitting steryotypes is one thing, I've been told like once a week that im stereotypically gay since I've been alive, and have been under a lot of fire for being both "too mexican" and "not mexican enough" but an author who is not mlm and is white can still fall into these pre conceived notions they don't realize they have. There is no such thing as a real life queer couple being heteronormative, but someone else writing one can be because they're not real people, they're characters.

Why does this dynamic appeal to you? Are you projecting? In what way? Why do you think x character is more passive and y is more aggressive? Are they like that in canon ?

When quarantine started I threw myself into aftg even more, but quickly became depressed and felt gross and watched, I felt lonely as an mlm and isnt white in a dominantly white wlw/wlm fandom. Most of tumblr is queer white women dominant tbh, in the same way its American dominant, and fandom is like that too. I still have a hard time talking to my friends who aren't mlm about fandom stuff sometimes because I will tell them something bothers me and I'm not sure they understand or take it seriously. I was so depressed because my personal escapism was making me feel worse.

My depression has gotten better since then, but I still get very uncomfortable with the word "twink" being applied to not just neil, but now any queer man, especially when not said by someone mlm.

Okay I'm gonna stop here lol this was a longer ramble than planned. Ah. Don't cancel me don't twist my words I swear I don't care what others do this is just my observations

[l-egionaire]

She Loves Me Not- Chapter 1-An Owl House Fanfic.

Willow had had just about enough.

When she first realized Amity's obvious crush on Luz it had been somewhat funny. Seeing her serious and studious childhood friend being turned into a red-faced stammering mess by the human girl couldnt help but cause her to snicker. But after nearly three weeks of seeing Amity practically swoon as soon as Luz so much as gazed in her general direction and her friend still being almost painfully oblivious to her affections, Willow decided something needed to change.

She knew that if she just told Luz about Amity's crush, the witch would personally sic her largest abomination on her. So she would have to help Luz figure it out on her own. Which would be difficult as it seemed like Luz was especially dense when it came to Amity's feelings about her.

Case in point, when Amity leapt up from their lunch table with her face the color of blood and Luz's only response was "huh, guess something didn't agree with her." Willow was tempted to bang her head against the table.

Thankfully, she found the perfect moment while the two of them where walking down the hall and Luz had started talking about a new piece of Azura fanfiction she'd read.

"So then Azura pushes Hecate out of the way and takes the blow from the burning heckhound! Horrified by whats happened to her friend, Hecate is filled with rage and power and defeats the monster with one powerful blast of magic!" Luz swept her arm in excitement, just narrowly missing hitting Willows forehead. She chuckled nervously after noticing. "Sorry. Anyway, Hecate runs to Azura's side and cradles her in her arms. Hecate asks "why would you do that?" And Azura says "I couldn't lose you." Oh, it was just so romantic!"

Willow raised a brow at Luz's word choice. "Romantic?"

"Yeah. I mean, the author isn't really a Heczula shipper but the way they interact in the story just gives such a really strong romantic vibe. I tried telling the same thing to Amity but she said she didn't really see it."

Resisiting the urge to smile at the irony, Willow carefully asked. "So, Amity isn't really into romance?"

"Oh no, she's actually a HUGE Heczula fan. In fact she even showed me some really great fan art she'd done. I actually asked her about working together to make our own special Heczula piece. Marry our skills so to speak."

She could just imagine Amity's response to that. Still keeping her expression as neutral as possible, Willow pressed on.

"Speaking of Amity and romance, has she talked to her crush yet?"

Luz frowned. "No. And I don't know why. I mean, I get that she was afraid of being rejected but its Amity. She's smart, talented, cute. No way someone would reject her."

Okay, Luz calling Amity "cute" wasn't a bad sign. "Maybe its because she's already got a relationship with this person. You know, like a friendship shes scared of messing up."

Luz immediately struck a hand out in front of Willow and they both came to a stop. The human girl gasped like a banshee, practically sucking in air.

"Of course! She's developed feelings for a friend and now fears her romantic attraction will end up damaging their friendship if she reveals it! Its such a common romance trope, how could've I have missed that?!" She gave another loud gasp. "Ogmigosh. I know who Amity's crush is!"

Willow couldn't help but smirk. About time.

"Its you Willow! Amity has a crush on you!"

Willows left eye started to twitch and she internally groaned at her friend once again drawing the wrong conclusion.

Mustering up as much effort as possible, she calmly asked. "What makes you think that?"

"Well it all fits. You two were close childhood friends before suddenly being separated. You've started rebuilding your relationship which probably caused her to realize that her feelings for you went beyond friendship and because things only just started getting better between you she's scared of admitting her feelings because she doesn't want to lose you again!" Luz declared, looking extremely pleased with herself.

Okay, that actually made since. "Yeah. But you know Luz...that could also apply to you too."

Luz's pride turned to confusion. "What?"

"Well, you two only recently became friends after not liking each other and she might not want to mess up your friendship since its so new." Willow said slowly, hoping it would finally sink in to her.

Luz stared at her for a moment before bursting into laughter.

After a round of giggles, she wiped a tear from her eye. "Thats ridiculous. Amity couldn't have a crush on me!"

At this point Willow couldn't swallow the annoyance when she replied. "And why not?!"

She expected to hear "we're just friends " or "we danced at Grom" as Luz's defense but what she said next completely shocked her.

"Amity would never be interested someone like me."

Both the statement and the paradoxical chuckle Luz gave while saying it zapped away whatever anger Willow had at her obliviousness and replaced it with intense confusion.

"What are you talking about? Why wouldn't Amity be interested in you?"

"Because Amity is, well, Amity and I'm me." The way Luz said it, t as if it should be completely obvious, caused Willow to get a twisted feeling in her stomach. Before she could say anything Luz pressed on.

"I mean, Amity's a skilled witch, Hexsides top student, she's planning on being part of the emperors coven one day! Plus she's rich, popular, she makes great fanart. And me? I'm...barely able to do magic. And I can't even do it the right way like you guys thanks to my stupid human organs. I'm not even a real witch. I mean, if Amity had a crush on me, you really think she'd be afraid of me rejecting her?"

Willow just stared at her in stunned silence. She was waiting for Luz to yell "kidding" or say that this was just a joke and she'd known about Amity's crush the whole time. But the bittersweet smile on Luz's face told her that she was completely serious.

She couldn't believe it. Luz, quite possibly the nicest person she knew, the one who tried to help her with a school project at the risk of being violently dissected, the one who'd managed to get past Amity's walls and become her friend, honestly thought that Amity didn't consider her good enough to have a crush on.

"Luz, I'm sure Amity doesn't think that way." Willow argued. "You two are friends now! You have that book club thing you do together! She doesn't think of you as less than her! In fact, I bet if you asked she'd definitely say she would be interested in you!"

Hopefully that would kill two birds with one stone.

"I can't do that Willow. Like you said, things are good between me and Amity. The last thing I want is to scare her off because she thinks I got feelings for her." Luz looked to the side and muttered. "I don't want to end up losing another friend because I pushed too much."

Her voice was so low Willow almost didn't hear her. She couldn't help but notice her use of word in particular. "Another?"

Luz winced, clearly not having wanted Willow to hear her but seeing the look her friend was giving, she began to explain.

"Back at my human school I would sometimes manage to meet people who had some of the same interests I did, like Azura or Anime. We'd talk about it, meet up, it was almost like we were friends."

Luz sighed

"But eventually, I'd do something. Somthing too weird or too much. Maybe even something that ccidentally ended up getting us in trouble. And then...they didn't want to be friends anymore."

The whole time Luz spoke her voice cracked, and Willow noticed a twinkle in the corner of her eye. The defeated expression on Luz's face seemed almost alien compared to her usual beaming face.

"Luz.....".

Upon seeing the sympathetic look on her friends face, Luz cleared her throat, plastered a smile on her face and tried to unnoticingly wipe the corner of her eye.

"But, anyway, thats my point. Amity and I are at a good place and I don't need to go asking her questions that might make her uncomfortable just to make myself feel better."

Noticing that she hadn't managed to ease her friend, Luz added. "Hey, come on, relax. Its not like I don't think anyone could like me But Amity? Trust me, I think she's be a bit out of my league. Now come on, we should get to class."

"You go ahead. I'll catch up."

As she watched Luz walk away, their entire conversation replayed in her mind. She couldn't believe her friend honestly thought that way about herself. She truly thought she wasn't good enough for Amity to like.

Willow knew one thing, still felt like she had before. She'd had enough. She wasn't going to let Luz keep thinking like that about herself. She was going to do something about it.

And she knew just what that something was.

[paunchsalazar]

i was a huge Harry Potter fan growing up but never really interacted with ”the fandom” online, only had friends who were into it. the first fan art I made would be drawings of Harry and hermione and Ron when I was like 8 years old. I also dressed up and went to the midnight premiers. But when I was in high school it became less of a thing in my life.

I’m sad JK Rowling has ruined Harry Potter for its fans, and has used her wealth and fame to be hateful and dangerous. But without be being aware of it, it was my first fandom.

the first fanfiction I ever read was for Teen Titans! i rewatched the series on YouTube when I was 13 and I was like I really like the idea of beast boy and raven together. So I googled it and found they had a ship name: bbrae!

i didn’t know that was a thing and thought it was cute. From there I read some stories on fanfiction .net and came across a ”lemon” which I had no idea what that was or what everything in it even meant. I was so confused! but bbrae is what got me into reading fanfiction. And from there I eventually moved to reading on AO3 for various fandoms.

This was interesting to think about because I never really thought about it before.

(hi!!! I’m sorry this is so late I realized I saved this as a draft and never shared it)

(Even just in the last week JK Rowling has infuriated me more than ever. I have to say she is dead to me and her bigotry and transphobia is beyond inexcusable. She is dead to me!!

I am saying all that follows as someone over it. I don’t know how to phrase it, I will always appreciate what I got out of them as a kid and for my friends and the joy of make believe but that does not excuse her at all.)

Anyway this was more about early days getting into fandom at all and I was surprised by how similar our paths were! I think it started apart from the internet for me and then I learned how much and how many people were out there.

I remember waiting in line for the Deathly Hallows book (I think I was too young for any of the preceding ones and I had the whole set that went from 1-6) and lining up for the premieres with my elementary school friends, my school was super small so almost everyone went and it felt crazy to be up that late with them, and wearing a cloak! First fan fiction I ever stumbled on (not sure how) and first con ever.. I actually think I started this account (which has been a catch all since 8th grade.. I remember I properly waited until I turned 13) to have a place to save A Very Potter Musical gifs/posts lol because it was better than just looking through Google images. Though this was all spread across years, finding things and losing them and finding them again.

Have very early memories of being in 8 or 9 and watching High School Musical imagine/fic videos (there is totally a word for this.. I don’t know what it is) but basically a fanfic but it’s just official pictures of the characters and dialogue like a video game and they had whole episodes and plot lines, absolutely crazy, would watch for hours and then stumble into other fandoms.

and of course Teen Titans!!! Some of the first ever fanart I think i saw and it started on Google images and then into wherever they came from (Tumblr, deviant art) omg I remember learning what a ship was and that characters had ship names and being like :O especially non-canonical ones, like there are people out there that got this feeling too? I thought I was just crazy and imagining things.. a lot of girls were really into One Direction in middle school lol and rpf and I remember trying to read the popular fics and being utterly confused by them lol.. it didn’t quite take til later but I think I just wasn’t reading the fic for me! and then a whole other wave of discovery happened later.

[lauraluna98]

Diana’s mothers fanfic

Have you ever think about Diana’s parents?

Have you think how did Daryl become so mean with Diana?

Why only Daryl, the twins and Diana are the only Cavendish remaining?

Where’s Diana’s grandparents?

Who’s Diana’s grandparents?

Why they aren’t there?

Why Bernadette was dead?

Who’s Diana dad?

How’s Bernadette Luna Nova years? If she really studied there

What happened in the Cavendish manor?

I’m going here to ask all these question with this fanfiction I wrote that is going to give a proper and a writing you guys never seen about Bernadette Cavendish the mother of Diana and her wife

Things here are going to change from the canon a little but well this is fanfiction and this is what fanfiction stand for

“Wait Wife? How? Why?”

Yeah Wife, by magic they made their kid and I’m going to explain why I choose a woman to be Bernadette’s wife rather than a dad

Simply, because feels generic and shallow to just simply give Bernadette a generic husband, this wouldn’t give a better writing to Bernadette as if was with another girl, Bernadette would simply marry or just have Diana with a generic man #1 and then one day he will die, leave her, or even plan to kill her

Plus the great majority of the fandom shipps Diakko, and they never think about the whole dilemma around Diana, by Akko’s side is easier she just need to fell in love with Diana and then yay they are together. But What about Diana’s side? Have you guys ever think that she’s an aristocrat (I’m not assumpting that aristocrats are LGBTphobes), she needs to keep a reputation there, a image and even she needs to have kids in order to keep her lineage being the one who will keep the head. So by Diana’s side things are harder, the reputation side she just can be simply strong and say openly that she’s a lesbian and everyone needs to accept that because we are in modern days but things get complicated about having kids

And pretty much the fanarts about a Diakko kid the children is always 100% biological daughter of Diana and Akko, so an artificial insemination by a donator is out of question (unless the donator is someone from the family who looks like them). Trans headcanon? That’s a pretty cool concept I think, tbh I love it, but to that work Diana or Akko wherever is gonna be Trans need to froze their sperm before the HRT if they want to have kids in the future, because the HRT make person infertile after a while. So magic? Well this is a another cool concept if both are cis so a fertility spell enters here, but how this is going to work? Leave that to the writers to do it. This is the idea I pick up with the fertility stone

This is why I come into the idea of giving Diana two mothers rather than a generic dad, because with that possibility Diana would get into the conclusion that a fertility spell is real with her at the first not actually believing it, until she finds out that her father was actually an another mother and she used the fertility stone with Bernadette

See how cool is that? And I’m not even starting to tell about Diana’s mom deeply, because this isn’t a story that takes place in the modern days but in the past

This is going to focus on Diana’s mothers

Bernadette Cavendish (the one everyone knows) and Laura McLaren (better than the generic Diana’s father OC)

Just to enter into the context of this story, the Cavendish family was into a time where they are even more close minded than today, on a time where Diana’s grandmother was alive and she’s a very conservative person, she was LGBTphobe AF not allowing their two daughters being other sexuality rather than straight, she controlled a lot of Bernadette’s life and even pressure her to be perfect

So times there was even worse for her than what is today. Bernadette’s mother was someone who preserve for the traditions and the image of the Cavendish family and this is where Daryl’s hatred among Diana enters

“What? But Diana wasn’t even born”

Because the hate wasn’t with Diana, but at Bernadette, Daryl hated Bernadette

“But in the anime has shown that Daryl had some feelings with her sister”

Really? I’ve only seen her screwing up with Bernadette will to keep the traditions of the family and she simply sell everything, I’ve seen her pretty much being very mean to Diana, not even taking care of her niece, plus when Bernadette was alive she pretty much was bullying Diana for liking Shiny Chariot

Come on the twins are less worse because they are kids but Daryl was a grown ass mother with two kids, she was simply bullying her niece for nothing when Bernadette was still alive in the canon

So this is how I come that Daryl is envy of Bernadette and she in reality hates her and I pretty much think that she’s even responsible for her sister death

Because of power, money and the wish to be the head of the family, Daryl pretty much has shown that in the anime and even her redemption was more like “Yeah you didn’t leave me to die so I’m in debt with you” (If LWA was going to have a season 2 she could pretty much fit into a villain and even if LWA didn’t have, Daryl was more Villainous than Croix ever was)

This envy among Daryl was something that started since she and Bernadette were kids, because their mother prioritize all the attention to the eldest daughter, the eldest daughter should be the one who will deserve to be the head and all the attention, but this is how their mother think is right to do and because of that Daryl starts to hate Bernadette’s side, plus that she was educated into a different way, she got more “evil” and greedy with the influence of her great aunts that think like that, while Bernadette was educated to be someone more “nice” and preserve the traditions of the family, she was even a little influenced by her grandma that actually believes into the fertility stone legend, where all the family think that’s bullshit

Bernadette needs to improve herself as a person to overcome all that weight over her, to have her own personality and freedom, because she didn’t have any freedom on her residence, until she enters on Luna Nova and meet someone called Laura McLaren

Laura is the complete opposite of Bernadette with her family, the McLaren family was like the Cavendish but from Ireland, they are rich too, but they prefer to live on a more simple big house, rather than a big ass castle because is more cheaper to maintain, Laura’s family is open minded AF they already knew about the fertility stone because the matriarch of the family is a 88 years old trans lesbian who used the fertility stone back then, so they are pretty much very fine with LGBT thing. Laura is openly a lesbian and she’s free to be herself, even tho she was most of the time trained with magic to become a powerful witch, so that makes her a strong ass witch that she didn’t even need to study in Luna Nova, but she’s there just for the grade

Laura was going to show to Bernadette how’s the freedom to be herself and not accept everything, that she needs to impose herself when someone is making her feeling down and Bernadette was going to make Laura being more mature with herself, since Laura was a little teen rebel, since she didn’t care that much about the authority of older persons rather than the family, so she really feels like she’s an adult and wanted to be respected like one. She’s the kind of badass tomboy girl who don’t care about authority and thing that she knows how the system works, so she obeys only who she really want

The time was going to be set around 1987 on the very first chapter which could fit very well into the canon since the anime canon takes place 30 years later, plus the time they make into adulthood and when the couple finally have their kids

The 15/16 years students on that time are going to be born on July 1971 to June 1972 and their birthdates will actually fit into the school year

Daryl is 3 years younger in this story she will be born in 1975 just like Laura’s sister Chelsea

The main differs with the canon

Since the time is changed in this AU with the anime being set on 2014 the 16 years old characters of the anime are born in 1998 in this AU.

Another thing I’m going to fix from the canon is the School year, since Luna Nova is a British school I’m going to change the school year from the canon which use the Japanese school year starting on May, but here I’m going to make the year starting in September to June next year with three vacation, December on Winter, two weeks after the easter on a spring break and the 3 months vacations from June to September when the year ends

And the whole magic limitation of them need to be near the sorcerer stone in order to use magic, in this AU they can use magic wherever they want, the most powerful the witch the most capable she is with the magic to point some of them can use their own body as wands

The dates are going to differ from the canon on the AU only when Diana is born and Chariot/Croix age since this is a part of the whole AU where the “anime” is set on 2014 and I make them both on the 30s when I didn’t know their canon ages there, so Chariot will be born on 1984, this will make her a kid when she meets Laura McLaren when she come to the Du Nord family residence to research for the fertility stone this presence of Laura is what made Chariot enchanted with magic

Bernadette have olive green eyes, idk if this differs a lot since we didn’t have proper canon information of her eyes and we didn’t even see her eyes in the anime, the main information is that the Cavendish has mostly blue eyes and I put her with greenish ones just because I want to make her unique, being the only Cavendish with a different eye color in her family

Diana is Irish/Scottish here, since Laura is Irish and Bernadette Scottish this makes Diana half of each (making her more Irish than Amanda lol)

Bernadette didn’t die, but that part could be also the one with Bernadette die and the whole canon anime happen with Laura didn’t come back to see her daughter

The Claiomh Solais didn’t appear for Chariot neither Croix and the main reason is because wasn’t needed at that time, the magic was pretty good, so both girls still become rivals but into another thing that is Broom Racing, just like on the real life we have Formula 1, so why not a championship with broom racing like Formula 1? This is what I bring into the AU in the next story which takes place after this one

Akko still idolize chariot but into her dream to become a Broom Racer and you can see here

Diana also like’s Chariot career but her main Broom Racing icon is her own mother Laura McLaren which become a excellent Broom Racer on the 1990s decade, without actually know that broom racer is her mother

The fic

It’s a remake of The mysterious mother, a lot of things are gonna be like the original but I’m also going to do a lot of changes to give more development to the characters, give more reasons to them to do what they did and also I wanted to do a story to fit in my whole AU

Well I talked a lot but not about the story, but this is because I don’t want to give a lot of spoilers on what happened and the whole answers to all these questions, even the one where Laura leaves Diana, since she’s a nice person, something happened that Laura leaves her lovely wife and her daughter and how did Diana never knew about who’s her dad actually is

Take a read into the very first chapter and have fun because this is going to be a very looong story with some familiar faces around there and some of them that are OC’s but they are needed to appear since most of the cast isn’t born at all despite the teachers at Luna Nova or Chariot and Croix that are still pretty young

This story is also the 3rd part of the whole AU of the fertility stone which you can check out all the parts I’ve wrote just to be more clearer with this whole story

Part 1: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26913469

Part 2: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27899341

Part 3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31098311

Part 4: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23807575

Also not only we are going to know about Diana’s mothers but a lot of things that will play on the part 5 story read it to find out, since the story is going to take place 50 years after this one, also is going to be a very very long story with them I’m already with 30+ chapters wrote and I’m gonna write even more, plus I’m gonna do daily updates so stay all the days on Ao3 for updates on the same time if you got interested on this story (I’m also very sorry with bad English and Grammar since I just put the story into Deepl translator and I change a word or another into the translation, when things get confused, since English is not my language)

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31098311

Fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13875351/1/Laura-McLaren-The-mother-of-Diana-Cavendish-IV

Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/1065632225-laura-mclaren-the-mother-of-diana-cavendish-iv-so

[gwens-projects]

Day 19 - Theme Memories

So I’ve been around this fandom for a long time, not as long as some people, but since TPOM was still kicking out episodes. Today I’m going to talk about some of the memories I’ve made through this fandom.

Under a read more because this is going to be long.

I remember first when I was really small getting to watch Madagascar when it first came out. It was very blurry and pixilated because it was on one of those cam copy discs that my dad had brought home. It was fun, I liked it, but didn’t think anything about it really. The same happened with Madagascar 2 a few years later, and then after that I got my first exposure to TPOM when dad had a disc with the When I was a Penguin Zombie ep collection on it. I’m pretty sure I watched that disc on repeat for weeks in the car, I loved it but had no idea there were like actually other eps I could watch anywhere else.

Years after that, somehow I managed to catch the Return of the Revenge of Dr. Blowhole on TV actually in the midst of all the singing, we almost turned the channel but I was amazed that there were more eps than what I had seen before and we watched what was left of the episode.

I’ve never been someone who easily makes friends. I’m very quiet, nervous, and rather weird. 8th grade I made my first decent friends, and then at the end of the school year both transferred away to different schools. I was about...15 maybe? and I was crushed. I had never really noticed how lonely I really was until then, and so I started watching some shows on youtube I remembered I liked but never got to watch every ep of...Kim Possible, Lilo and Stitch, the Smurfs....I was looking for something Smurf related online when I accidentally discovered fanfiction, specifically Smurfs fanfiction that I thought was actually like a canon Smurfs book. This led me to exploring fanfiction a little more and then I accidentally come across some TPOM oneshot (written in Spanish that my computer translated) about Private? It reminded me that oh yeah the penguins was a show I liked as a kid, so I looked it up and started binging those eps. 

Watching those eps, I honestly felt the least alone I had felt all summer. Private was my first comfort character and at the time I found him super relatable. I also started reading a few TPOM fanfics. Season 3 still had episodes coming out and so that was pretty exciting. That August I started writing my first fanfic, A Trixy Situation, and drew my first fanarts. I also consequently made my first OC.

I look back at that first fanfic and the reviews I got and all I can think is “People thought this was good?” But at the same time, if it wasn’t for those kind comments back then, I wouldn’t be the writer I am now. A Trixy Situation wasn’t just my first fanfic, it was the first piece of written fiction I ever wrote and FINISHED. People’s kind comments spurred me to write and for the first time I really felt like I was writing for a purpose AND having fun with it. I was over the moon.

Granted, I did get my first critiquing review a few fics later, and as much as I cried over it...I will admit, it made me a much better writer. I still wish they had phrased it differently though.

Through fanfiction as well I made my first fandom friends. One of which I still keep in contact with even now 7 years later. She became my first best friend that I could truly say was my best friend and I wouldn’t have made her except through this fandom.

When I transferred schools from private to public in 10th grade, TPOM eps and writing TPOM fanfiction got me through it. It was...a rough 3 years of my life. I had 0 offline friends, but I had that one very good online friend who I would sneak chats to through a google doc during lunch and class breaks.

I remember when AHKJ came out and I’d have to stay off of tumblr because tumblr mobile wouldn’t let me tag and block spoilers and GEE WERE THERE SO MANY SPOILERS POSTED. 

January 2016 I gave roleplaying a try and made a slew of Private_Private_Penguin rp accounts across multiple platforms. I made a few connections and associates then, but none really stuck. However, I had a lot of fun rping as Private until the rp community more or less went silent.

Junior and senior year of high school and the first couple years of college, I was too busy and stressed to think of TPOM much. Then I noticed a new up-springing in TPOM rpers again. I watched a few eps and this time around realized that I really, really related to Kowalski now....Far more than I ever related to Private in the past. Granted, in the past I was kind of driven away from Kowalski because the fandom was so...well, let’s just say there were a lot of rapid Kowalski fangirls where it made me nervous to even approach the character. Private didn’t have as many fans so he was calmer to have as a favorite. But modernly, the Kowalski hype had died down and I finally felt at ease finding him as a comfort....I also think the age old “disliking a character until you realize there’s a lot of yourself in that character and that’s why you dislike them” theory applied to that as well...because he and I do have a lot in common, personality wise.

Anyway, through the new round of rping as Kowalski, I made some new fandom friends and through them was exposed to new fandoms and experienced a new love for the series as a whole. I also was introduced to new ship ideas and got new headcanons....And then I got back into writing fanfiction. My friend who rps as Blowhole, they got me into the Franski ship...Our rping was a slow burn enemies to friends to Kowalski muse having a crush on Blowhole. It’s a fun thing to look back at the old rps like “oh Kowalski started liking this ship before I did.”

After I got back into fanfic writing, I made yet another friend who IMed me about my writing and since then I’ve been co-writing with her on her fic. I also discovered a discord group where I ran into several fanguins who I recognized were around the fandom back when eps were coming out as well and I just sort of felt...at home? It’s the best way I can describe it. It was new but familiar all at the same time. Did we all share the same ships and headcanons? Heck no, but with such a vague canon that’s understandable and completely fine. It’s interesting seeing the different ideas and such and the joint enthusiasm we all have for this franchise.

I’ve recently started watching A Little Wild...Admittedly, I’m struggling with it but for its target audience, it would be a great intro into the franchise, honestly.  

I have so many memories from this franchise and its fandom, some bad, but mostly good. And now I just will take this moment to thank both the franchise and the fandom for the memories and comfort its given me through the years. 

[writeangstime]

Problem of fanfiction writers – aka the whole bucket of reasons why writing for fans is not always easy

So idea to write this was in my head for almost a week and latest post on my dash only encouraged me to sit down to it and write everything. It is quite important because people don’t speak about it and I think it is important thing to do. If any of you would like to reblog it because you agree with it, feel free. If you disagree and want to add something, please, made it cultural in discussion. So without further delay, let me start.  

PART 1 – THE GENERAL PROBLEM

So the general thesis I feel we need to tell is this: Fanart is more ahead than fanfiction in view of fans.

I don’t want to point “artists have better than writers” thesis to start some great war in fandoms, but I think this is very often the case. We want it or not, we live in world that is demanding things to be aesthetically pleasing in our eyes – starting from everyday clothes and ending on the design of websites. So we quickly can decide what we like, what is funny, what is sad, what is pretty. Fanart is easier in terms of deciding if we like it or not. Not only that, many websites also like to promote themselves using specific fanarts, either by promoting them in things like “fanart of the day/week/month” or organizing contests for drawing something in the theme. This websites usually use a huge fanbase that can be drawn by this – after all, one would feel nothing but pride when the website posts their favourite Harry Potter art that they drew for hours.

The other issue is that the most famous applications and websites are either more established for visual media (Instagram, Twitter, etc.) or, if they feature general art, they usually focus on something that isn’t written (Deviantart and their Daily deviations). If writers use any websites, they are either of mixed purpose – Tumblr for example – or some that aren’t used by general public that is not connected to any fandom (AO3). That makes it more difficult to “normalize” writing fiction.

PART 2 – THE SPECIFIC PROBLEMS OF FANFIC

Of course it is not like everything is “blame” of that gap between the fanbase, because fanfiction writers also come up with some issues that are specific for just writing itself. Those I will list below could be probably expanded, but I think those are the most important when we first thing about writing.

1.      There is no money from writing

This probably could be told about pretty much anyone who will made something for fandom, but it needs to be said at every opportunity – majority of the fanfiction writers never had occupation connected to writing. Still they have to earn their livings and that means less time for getting down to write, which in turn means less time to develop your skills. There is also a problem with commissions – barley any writer puts them up and if they do, the prices are extremely low, too low to make any decent money. This also makes problem with setting any kind of Ko-Fi, Patreon or basically anything that would be a side-profit. Devoting time fully to run the pages and write stories is simply not adding up in the moment where you could just push yourself to do something else.

2.      Writing in foreign language

As it might came to you, there are many people in fandom that basically aren’t English native. It might not seem a problem – after all almost everyone now speaks this language – but if you want to have a broader fanbase, you have to write in completely different language than you were taught. So there are always harsh beginnings where you struggle with gramma and even then, when you are fluent enough to live without any problem in another country, you still will get some struggles. People are not the best to understand that – I saw mean comments that were established on fact how said person can’t use the language well. This can be huge strike for someone that tries and struggles to get through the things that could be problematic and just can turn you away from even trying to get better.

3.      Bad fame

In the current fandom fanfictions are very often viewed and portrayed as the fantasy of teenagers that find in that substitute for relationship or for fantasy made true. It is definitely not helpful that the fiction that was turned into books and movies is completely unhealthy in any terms – the stalking issues, the control issues, all the relationship being promoted there are really unhealthy and it is hard to see it as positive at all. No wonder that fanfiction is still viewed as low-quality literature, therefore is not taken much seriously and there is probably hard time getting “profession” by writing fiction like that. Also even the word “fanfic” carries a bit of the negative meaning in some groups.

PART 3 – HOW CAN I HELP?

1.      Reblog/comment as much as you can

Any kind of reaction is pure and warms the heart of writer, but also what we lack is the feedback. Without that we can’t really get the story going better, because we don’t know what part you liked or not. Of course it is nothing obligatory and no one is forcing you to do so, but you know that even writing simple and cheesy “I like it” in tags can make a whole day better.  

2.      If you have some funds you are willing to spend on the writer – do so

Now I don’t say that you need to pour all your money on those fanfiction people out there, but if you ever want to order some story from person that you kind of admire, just ask them – the worst answer would be refusal, in the best you would get a good story. Some of the writers would be even kind enough to write it for you without publishing it, so no one beside you would read that.

[wherestoriescomefrom]

A Goodbye, of a Sort

I finished writing the last chapter of Song as Old as Rhyme.

It’s going to go through some rounds of edits, it’ll probably be ironed out a little over time - I might even scribble a few one-shots for later. But as of now, the last of my long stories featuring Molly Hooper has been finished. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be publishing it on both ao3 and ffnet. 

I’ve been doing this for a long time now. 

I know a lot of you probably don’t remember why you follow me, or what my tiny bits of contribution were - but here it is, a history of the last six years of me. Allow me to reintroduce myself: I’m Ridiculosity. I’ve not had much, not always - I wasn’t a big name, but people read me. I have loved everyone who took what they can from whatever I could offer. 

I first started writing Sherlolly (multichaptered Sherlolly, mind. I’d been doing the one-shot variety for a bit before that) with Endless Forms Most Beautiful - a five chapter something that I wrote for @the-littlesparrow. Arguably, the Sherlolly I am most known for is Two Hundred and Twenty One B, Baker Street. Most of my writing has come from a place of having loved Molly Hooper, wanting to know her as well as I possibly could. I have loved her through countless reinterpretations, through numerous ship wars, through infighting and outfighting, the debacle of season four and with no promise of having more than five minutes of screentime each episode. 

Half of my journey is her. The other half is you guys. 

All of you wrote so many comments, cheered me on so many times. I remember usernames of people I got so used to seeing in my comments section they felt like friends. I have slipped so many times - fallen, and found it hard to come back to writing. You made me love Molly over and over again, you made me love my writing over and over again, and I have never been more grateful. 

Then @whyimmathere happened to me. Molliarty happened to me. I wrote Nameless, arguably my most famous and popular work, I wrote more prompt fills, I wrote one-shots for side fandoms like Agent Carter. I became friends with @s1e1pilot. I wrote Derry Girls fanfic, and Uprooted fanfic, and @iridogorgia and @thebookishtea created the Molliarty discord - and before I knew it, I was writing Song as Old as Rhyme. @lockwoodmyass Made me fanart!!!!!! @s1e1pilot DID AS WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I don’t know which of those made you follow me, but I am grateful because I don’t know when I will return to Molly Hooper (and by extension, possibly fanfiction) again. I’m not saying never again, because even now I have the urge to write a short one-shot, or maybe to do a prompt fill of some sort - but I wanted to say goodbye, because I have no new plans for a multichapter. Anything else that I write will happen based on a mood, on a whim, and not necessarily with the kind of dedicated time I’ve put into these other stories. 

My time in fanfiction is not coming to an end, I just have other projects I want to focus on. I don’t know when or if I am returning, but I don’t think it’ll be through Sherlock. I wanted to say goodbye to Molly Hooper, the person I have loved so intensely without ever having met her. 

I wanted to thank all of you - for everything you have given me, for everything you have taught me. Both the Sherlolly and Molliarty communities have been so wonderful, and I’ve never forgotten a single reblog, a comment, nothing. You all have made me a better writer, and I cannot stress that enough. Again, this is hardly forever, but it is an ending of a sort - and it’s a good place to end, with most of my stories completed. I only hope that I am remembered for whatever I wrote, and I hope you return to me, just as I fully expect to return to you all the time. It’s not a forever, nothing is - its a sort of. 

I love you all, so so much. I will come back when I feel up for it, when I am less tired. Maybe I might even get an idea for a longer story again, and this whole thing would have been for nothing. But I sincerely wanted you all to know what a huge impact you had on my life. I wouldn’t have been writing for so long had it not been for you. 

Cheers, love, and all of me, 

Ridiculosity

[thefantheorist]

Miraculous Reveal? (Miraculous Ladybug)

Hello all my fellow Fan Theorists! Today we are going to be talking about Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir. So I really like this show and if you’ve never seen it, you should totally check it out because it is worth it. So, in light of the most recent episode, Oblivio, a reveal scenario doesn’t seem too far off in the future, and a permanent one at that. And that’s where I come in. You see, so many people have speculated about what the reveal scenario is going to be like and many others have made fanfiction and fanart speculating the reveal, but for the first time, I think that we really have some solid ground to stand on.

Alright then, so first let’s start off by listing all the known facts that we have. First, it has been confirmed that Marinette will be the holder of the mouse miraculous, it has also been confirmed that she will use both the mouse miraculous and the fox miraculous at once, with the base probably being the mouse miraculous and her using the fox overtop.

It is also confirmed that she will use the dragon miraculous over top of her Ladybug disguise, this could be before, after, or during the time when she is Mulmouse. 

Adrien will also be getting an upgrade to the snake Miraculous, whose powers are probably going to be those similar to a Siren, based on the fact that he’s got a little harp thingy and serpents of lore have been known to be able to hypnotize people.

But this is all just scratching the surface because there are other leaks on the series, like the fact that Kagami is seen de-transforming from the peacock miraculous, how Luka is probably going to be the holder of the snake miraculous probably given the miraculous by Adrien, and Adrien has been seen in just the snake miraculous costume. We also have the fact that Thomas Astruc himself confirmed that Marinette and Adrien would become a couple by the series conclusion, but we all know that they are gonna take a while to ring that towel dry.

So... with all of this evidence compiled, what is the actual theory here? Well, let’s start with that Dragon Bug outfit. So, recently Hawkmoth’s villains have become less like jokes and more like actual opponents that Ladybug and Chat have to face, and as things have gone on, each individual villain has become more and more of a threat. Oblivio from the most recent episode was a big threat, one that Ladybug and Chat barely beat, and they only beat him because they knew each other’s identities. So, I think that Ladybug and Chat are going to be facing a villain that is much stronger and more capable than any other villain they’ve faced before and they won’t be able to defeat them before they change back, but they will leave the scene, regroup, and head to Master Fu’s place to ask him for his guidance, where he will tell them that they can use other miraculous’ on top of the one they are wearing, cue Dragon Bug and Snake Noir. They will end up defeating the akuma and Hawkmoth will realize that Ladybug and Chat have access to many or all of the other miraculous’.

After this, I believe that they are going to use these special suits again when fighting a big threat, and the time limit on Adrien’s Chat Noir power will expire, cue the Adrien with snake miraculous image that everyone is freaking out over, saying that Chat will lose the ring.

While I think that Chat will de-transform into the snake, I don’t think that Ladybug will de-transform into the dragon, mostly because there is not concept art for it and also because if she did, she couldn’t use her lucky charm to clean up the mess until she recharged Tikki. I also think that Adrien will have the snake miraculous before Luka ends up getting it because of how similar the designs are. Adrien’s, while a bit embellished, is relatively simple, a body suit and a cool hood mask, but Luka’s is a lot more detailed, while also having practically the same design. Perhaps when Luka gets the miraculous, he will have seen Chat in his snake miraculous form and his costume will come out looking similar.

Now, back to the fight with the double miraculous. If I am right and there are two of these fights, then who are they fighting? Well, the first fight I imagine will be with Lila. She has proven herself to be a very capable villain in two incidences and both times she almost defeated them, so it isn’t too big of a leap to assume that she would be a villain capable enough that Ladybug and Chat Noir would need to consult Fu. But the next villain, I believe, is going to be Kagami. She has proven time and again that she is a threat, her akumatized form was almost too powerful, and it is honestly a waste to see her used as mere jealousy fodder for Chloe and Marinette. Now, I can’t be sure that the leak about Kagami having the peacock miraculous is accurate, but if it is, then I suspect that this akumatization will be before she gets the peacock miraculous. I believe after she is de-akumatized, Hawkmoth will realize how capable she is and how much hate is in her heart and want her as an ally, much like Lila, however, I believe that Hawkmoth will see more potential in Kagami than in Lila and will give her the Peacock miraculous. I also think that Kagami and Lila will have a fun dynamic, if the two do end up working under Hawkmoth, where they will dislike each other, but they’ll work well together as a team due to their hatred of Ladybug and Chat Noir and also of Marinette, but they will quarrel over Adrien at times.

Again, this might be fake, but I think that it would be awesome if it wasn’t. I also think that a lot of the fans want Kagami to be the peacock miraculous holder.

So, that leads me to the last bit of theory fodder that I haven’t talked about: Mulmouse. Marinette is going to be the holder of the mouse miraculous, but how? And how is she going to be fighting alongside Chat and Ladybug when she is Ladybug? Well, the answer is a lot simpler than you’d think: she gets revealed. The idea that Marinette would get unmasked is one that nobody really thinks is going to happen at the rate the show is going, but it has to happen eventually for the story to conclude, but what if the reveal doesn’t happen at the end of the story like everyone suspects? My suspicion is that in the season finale of either season 4 or 5, all of the new miraculous holders will be gathered together for a big fight, probably on the eiffel tower as that is where it all started with Hawkmoth in the first place. Volpina, Carapace, Queen Bee, whatever Luka’s hero name is gonna be, and Ladybug and Chat Noir will be battling it out with whatever big bad atrocity they need to defeat and they’ll manage to trap Ladybug and take her miraculous, revealing to the world that Marinette is Ladybug. Cue shocked gasps from everyone. The villains will manage to take the Ladybug miraculous and give it to Hawkmoth. Not only will that make things a lot less stale by giving Hawkmoth further motivation and drive to get Chat’s ring, it will also free Marinette up to be Mulmouse, which she will have doubts about because she lost the ladybug miraculous. She will also be devastated about losing Tikki.

So why do I think that Mulmouse has to take place after Dragon Bug and Snake Noir? Well, if Marinette really does lose the ladybug miraculous, she will probably take the mouse miraculous in order to help Chat find Tikki and stop Hawkmoth. But as the picture shows she eventually uses both the mouse miraculous and the fox miraculous, with the mouse as the base, which means that she has to have lost the Ladybug miraculous to be using the mouse miraculous, but if she loses the Ladybug miraculous, she won’t be able to transform into Dragon Bug. Do you see how complicated this is?

Anyways, let’s move on to the last piece of business:

Now, despite him disliking spoilers so much, I don’t think that he is lying here. It seems pretty obvious that the love square is the ship that will eventually become canon, but we just aren’t really sure when. However, I think that after Marinette gets revealed, that is when Adrien and Marinette will become a couple. Adrien will finally realize that Marinette is the girl he’s in love with and he will be all over her. But I don’t think it’s going to be immediately afterwards, in fact I think that Astruc is gonna milk it for all it’s worth. Adrien will probably not tell Marinette about his feelings because he thinks she doesn’t reciprocate them, and it’ll be a whole thing. Because THEY CAN’T JUST BE HAPPY, CAN THEY THOMAS?

So that is what I think will become of Miraculous Ladybug in the seasons to come. What do you think? Do you agree or am I way off base? And tell me your theories! Thank you all so much for the support and as always, have a wonderful week.

[offdensen]

so, if you’re someone who started reading confectionery (that one ice cream!au subscorp fic) nearly four years ago and have been wondering what the hell is going on with it since, this post is for you.

(also, if you haven’t heard, there’s a new chapter! read it here ♡)

i should begin by apologizing. i wish i was more forward about my feelings on the work and why i stopped working on it, and i regret not doing so. i also feel like i should explain myself a bit.

i began writing confectionery after being inspired by a parody video (I WANTED ICE CREAM) and trading ideas with my best friend during the summer of 2015.

that summer, i was in a weird spot mentally; i had just finished my first year at a university i hated, where i spent most of my time between classes crying my eyes out due to the stress of being unable to afford the tuition, as well as just not being ready for that transition in my life yet. i decided to transfer to a school in my hometown that was much cheaper and allowed me to stay home for that following fall.

however, i still struggled to find work, so i had two and a half months of seemingly endless free time, which allowed me to write plenty during that break. i had managed to finish and publish chapter six right before the next semester began, and i knew after my first day of class that i wouldn’t be able to continue writing, but i pretended that i could force myself to. i started chapter seven and then promptly gave up when i couldn’t write more than three sentences before wanting to give up and try again tomorrow.

the thing with fanart and fanfiction is that it’s purely meant for pleasure; fanartists can make a (legal) profit from their work, but fanfic writers cannot, and so the only thing driving me was the creative need to make something. but starting school again and having to figure out what the hell transfer students were supposed to do (my university did little to help me or other transfers with this kind of transition) drained me significantly.

my interest in mk waned around the same time, and i knew that forcing myself to write something i wasn’t feeling passionate about would hurt the quality of the work, which i simply could not allow myself to do; i take way too much pride in my writing ability and skills to post something i’m not satisfied with. i also felt that it would be unfair to the piece itself and to everyone who was actively reading it.

i didn’t want to orphan it, though, and instead put it on hiatus because i knew i definitely wanted to start working on it again at some point, but also realized that i likely wouldn’t want to return to it until the next mk title rolled around (which is exactly what’s happened lmao).

however, i also received some very frustrating and entitled comments in 2016 that lead me to resent confectionery and as such, made me want nothing to do with it; i ended up publishing four unrelated fics during that year (after marathoning simon pegg films and becoming INCREDIBLY hyperfixated on star trek because of it), which is where all my creative energy went.

anyone who’s looked at my work history will find that i haven’t published anything since then, though. my depression is a constant thing i’m dealing with, and it hit me hard at the time. i also found a job (fucking finally) in may 2017, which shortened my free time between work and school. i tried to write, but never finished anything. i think i have three or four projects i’ve started since then, but couldn’t force myself to complete. i poured most of my personal time into playing overwatch instead.

so, writing’s been hard for me lately. i put a lot of creative time into sfm and not much else, but eventually burnt myself out on that, too. i’ve also barely made any gifs or edits in the past few years. capitalism has a way of draining you of any and all creativity lmao.

but, now that i’ve graduated with my bachelor’s and found a new job where i’m actually utilizing my knowledge instead of making pizzas under a manager who couldn’t give less a shit about me or my efforts, i’m feeling much more satisfied with the direction my life is going and also have a lot more time to do things for myself.

i recently replayed the story to mkx to give myself a refresher of the plot so far (i referenced this in a recent comment on confectionery, for you eagle-eyed readers) and also got to do a few towers during the mk11 beta a couple weeks ago. since then, i’ve been fleshing out the plot line to confectionery and finally wrote the next chapter (one that i was super excited to write before my interest wilted and died rip).

so, if you’re reading this, that means i also finally published it!! we did it kids!!! we’re back on the mortal kombat ice cream train!!!!

if you’ve made it down here, thank you so much for reading this whole thing. my intent isn’t to make excuses but to simply explain myself for the very long hiatus. your patience and support means the absolute world to me. i hope you enjoyed the recent update, and that you’ll stick around for the next one! ♡

[leilas-digital-scrapbook-blog]

Giving Love a Bad Name – Confessions of a Fanfiction Writer

I know we’re supposed to blog about our major projects this week and I promise I will get to that soon, but I’d like to go off book for a moment to address something that’s been bugging me since last Thursday’s class. As someone who’s always tried to engage with fandom in as creative a way as possible, I hoped a class on user generated content would offer a fresher perspective than the usual amount of prejudice and self-righteous superiority that sadly seem to accompany the subject of fanfiction even amongst people that make stories and their passion for it their bread and butter.

Guess I should have known better.

In the world of professional writers, fanfiction is still a filthy word. It sums up everything that’s wrong with the people you’re sharing your stories with: the obsessiveness, the entitlement, the disregard for boundaries, the penchant for making everything about sex. Worse, gay sex, as unspeakably dirty as it’s hilarious. Be warned, writers: if you make it big, your stories will inevitably become a free-for-all at the mercy of those people. A worse fate than even George R. R. Martin could wish on his own characters.

I’m used to seeing the world of fanfiction belittled and disparaged, of course, and I’m the first to admit that the community is often its own worst enemy. But for some reason it still hurt a little to sit in class and listen to people I’ve come to like and respect during these past few months buy into every bad stereotype associated with the form. Not because I felt called out (though yes, I do write fanfiction from time to time, and I happen to quite enjoy reading it too), but because of the underlying assumptions that 1. something that’s not 100% original cannot be art, it’s a violence in fact, especially if it twists someone else’s creation into something it was never meant to be (in this case, queer representation); and 2. there’s something wrong with creating exclusively out of love, without ever expecting to be paid for it. And I have Strong Opinions on that.

So let’s talk about fanfiction.

Actually, scratch that, let’s talk about my favorite subject – yours truly. As you may have gathered by now, I love fanfiction. A whole fangirly lot. My gateway drug into it was my obsession with Lost about 10 years ago and its pesky habit of offing every character I was foolish enough to get attached to. But lo! Someone was keeping them alive through their stories! I felt blessed. I got to spend more time in a world I loved, and I stopped flirting with the idea of giving up on the show every time another character I liked bit the dust. Everybody won.

Even more than as a fan, though, I appreciated the world of possibilities that fanfiction opened up to me as a non-native speaker. I come from a small town in the north of Italy; the access I had to foreign books in their original language was limited, and if I wanted to read something in English I’d have to spend quite a lot of money on one of the very few novels (usually chunky airport bookshop thrillers or housewife romances – not exactly my preferred genres) that shared a single shelf in the bookstore with German, French, Spanish titles. But fanfiction was free, accessible, and there was so much of it. If I didn’t like a story, all I needed to do was move on to the next. Suddenly there was an infinite library of engaging stories to help me make my English better. True, they didn’t all read like a published novel would – there’s a lot of unpolished, error-plagued, stream-of-consciousness-y material out there. But there are also so, so many beautifully written works, and believe me, even for a non-native speaker it’s very easy to spot the difference.

Fanfiction also gave me the chance and motivation to practice my English writing in a way school never could have done. I’ve been writing my own stories since I could hold a pen, but I didn’t dare write in English until I was a fanfiction-loving teenager. It was a marketing decision, really – my first foray into writing fanfiction was for a fandom so small that I wouldn’t be surprised to find out I’m the only Italian representative, so if I wanted any kind of feedback on my work I’d have to suck it up and try my hand at writing in a language that didn’t come natural to me. I would never argue that the feedback I got on my works made me a better writer – contrary to popular opinion, the fanfiction community is made up of the nicest, most supportive people, and alas, you’ll never get a comment on everything you did wrong with your structure or even just pointing out common grammar mistakes from them (though I was lucky enough to have someone explain to me how dialogue punctuation works differently in English than in Italian, so I guess something can be learned even from the Internet). It did motivate me to keep writing, though, and that made me a better writer. If you think I’m being too dramatic, dishing out this monster of a post nobody asked for just to declare my eternal devotion to fanfiction, it’s because it’s personal to me. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been told that I write in English as well as native speakers, and fanfiction is a big part of why that’s true. I doubt I would even be in this course if it wasn’t for it.

And then, of course, there’s the gay thing. I’m not going to argue about how heteronormativity sucks and representation matters because I’m sure everyone’s as sick of talking about it as I am, but please try to understand how it felt for a gay person like me, used to be depicted in media as a plot device or token secondary-character representation if at all, to be able to step into a world where queerness was the default for once. Where queer protagonists had meaningful queer love stories and queer friends and got to save the world from the Apocalypse too. Or to fight the Empire or go to Hogwarts or everything else fictional straight people have had a right to do since the dawn of storytelling in addition to romancing the hottie of their choice. I’m not asking you to feel as passionately about it, of course, but (especially if you’re straight) you might try and empathize the next time you think a fanart of two boys kissing is something deserving of your amused contempt.

I hope I’m not coming across as the person that screams “homophobe” at everyone who disagrees with her because I guarantee that’s not what I’m trying to do here, but I think the general distaste for slash says a lot about the way our society sees heterosexual relationships as love and homosexual relationships as sex. Yes, there’s a lot of gay porn in the world of fanfiction. But you know what you’re most likely to find? Romance. Not in the saucy literary sense of the word, but in its simpler, most literal acceptation. Fanfiction is just one more way for humans to express themselves, after all, and love has always been front and center in our art. Love, not sex – even if it’s gay. In fact, explicit material doesn’t even make up the majority of what you’ll find on a fanfiction website. Don’t worry, I don’t want anyone to taint their souls by visiting one of those dens of iniquity so I pulled some stats myself. Here’s the number of works for each rating in three of the most popular fandoms on Archive Of Our Own, the current go-to website for the fanfiction community (sorry Fanfiction.net) – Harry Potter, Supernatural and the Marvel Cinematic Universe as of 9/3/2019:

Even counting both Mature and Explicit works as straight-up porn (which I don’t think is quite fair, but that’s a discussion for another day), they only make up less than 1/3 of the material. Kinda disappointing, for a medium that’s supposed to be all about filthy graphic gay sex. Imagine if only one in three musicals actually featured singing and dancing, or superheroes weren’t in the majority of superhero movies. They’re lucky fanfiction is shared for free, or I’d be screaming for my money back.

Maybe I’ve just been brainwashed by SJWs, though, and this has nothing to do with my being an immigrant or a lesbian. Maybe my inability to see what’s so bad about appropriating someone else’s intellectual property for your own amusement is a cultural thing. I apologize – as mentioned, I’m Italian, and we all know Ancient Roman culture was basically just a ripoff of everything those inventive Greeks came up with. It’s in our blood. Hell, our 2€ coin, the biggest, has the face of Dante Alighieri on it, a writer most famous for having written 14.000+ verses of self-insert real-person-fic in which the girl he fancied as a teenager, his favorite author, and God himself all fall over themselves to tell him how awesome he is and he gets to prophesy an eternity in Hell for his political enemies. Talk about wish-fulfilling entitlement. Not to mention all those creatively arid Renaissance “artists” celebrated for stealing characters from the Bible and Greek mythology (seriously, the fact that Greece hasn’t unleashed an army of lawyers on us yet is nothing short of a miracle) and putting them in their cheesy paintings. Other countries can rely on a much stronger moral backbone and endless imagination – I’m sure Shakespeare, Milton, Goethe, those creative geniuses at Disney and countless others never had to resort to something as cheap and despicable as borrowing other people’s characters to tell the stories they wanted to tell.

Either way, I can’t help it – I see the prospect of creating something that will resonate with people so strongly that they’ll make it a part of themselves, that it’ll compel them to make more art, to reach out and connect with other fans, as something incredibly beautiful rather than scary. Maybe this is my usual naiveté speaking, and I will come to eat my words. It’s certainly disturbing that a bunch of entitled fans bullied the Mass Effect developers into changing the series’ ending, and sending actors explicit fanart of themselves is straight-up harassment, but is fanfiction really the problem here? Or is it social network culture, with its power to destroy all barriers and foster hive mind? To give resentment a platform to spread and be heard? I promise that the average fanfiction writer wouldn’t campaign to get an ending changed. They’d just roll up their sleeves and write a better one themselves.

[grundalucious075-blog]

Fragments and Sparks: My Writing Origin Story

We're gonna break tradition a little and skip some parts at the beginning.

We're gonna skip my mom meeting my dad and eventually marrying him.

We're gonna skip the miscarriage she had with his child.

We're gonna skip the day I was born, and my formative years as a smaller-than-average child who loved to tell stories, even winning first place in a local children's writing competition with my illustrated "book", Zorn the Unicorn and Meal the Seal.

Instead, we're gonna skip to late 2007, being the weird kid who always started a week later than everyone else. When small arguments between my parents started to rapidly become explosive and toxic. When my bad luck of being an easy target for bullies started to come to a climax. When I turned to physical fights and scraps to make them stop with no real success, only injuries that were no longer hidden.

When I needed escapism the most.

I was already drawing: I was drawing Kingdom Hearts fanart (RokuNami and SoRiku were my main OTPs, at the time). I soon found myself with an urge I haven't felt in nearly seven years:

I wanted to tell a story.

I wanted to tell a love story.

But I was afraid to write fanfiction. I was worried that it wouldn't be good, that the characters would be too OOC (out of character), and that everyone would hate it. Not to mention the major hurdle of the toxic lesson of "don't try something new if you think you're gonna suck at it. It's best to always try if you know you're gonna succeed in every way possible" didn't make things easy. But I still wanted to write. So what was a smol bean like myself to do?

I created my own characters: Adam and Turk.

I created my own setting: a small, fictional city in Japan.

I created my own plotlines, my own antagonist and motives, my own story flow.

Soon, a year has passed, and Adam and Turk were all I wrote about.

They were my children. My lovely, simple, gay children. By the time I was a freshman in high school, I had a small binder filled with the stories about the two I printed, a folder with the countless illustrations I made, and a whole gallery on deviantART dedicated to the two. The stories and art never really got much attention, despite the amount of groups I submitted to...in fact, not a lot of mine got noticed except for a Pokemon SoulSilver Nuzlocke story I ran in 2010-2011 (completely in text, known as a Writtenlocke).

I was a little upset, I'm not going to lie. It felt like nobody wanted amything to do with my stories, and I usually got very little to no feedback. But, I had two things that kept me going:

I met my best friend shortly after the second semester started. I was drawing a cute picture of Adam and Turk (the latter kissing the former on the cheek, whishing him a good dau at work). A cute blonde girl noticed it and, with a gasp that rivaled Pinkie Pie, said "Oh my god, you like Yaoi? I LIKE YAOI TOO! You're my best friend now!"

And just like that, I had a best friend who also liked to write. I would try to illustrate her work, and she would help me with my writing. We encouraged each other. Even to this day, long after the horrible days of high school, long after she helped me discover I was bisexual, and long after our friendship blossommed into romance that was killed by a poor descion on my part, I value that time, and I truly miss them.

The second was that I discovered how happy I was. Even with my mother's attitude becoming increasingly toxic and abusive (especially after I told her I was bisexual), I found my happiest moments spent late at night, writing, drawing, playing music, listening to YouTube videos, and chatting with friends on deviantART. I loved the feeling. It lead to an epiphany about what I wanted to do with my life: to create.

It was vague, and admittedly, not well thought out. I was never very good at picking a "sensible" career path.

My mother seemed to agree. She had different ideas in mind that I don't wanna delve into too much, so I'll just say that my current full-time employment at a bagel deli is not only less-than-ideal, but also her getting the last laugh.

We're gonna skip some more bits to save some time and feels; mainly the parts about us getting evicted from our home, my mother's abuse and manipulation coming to an intense climax, and being forced into a college and life plan I had no real say in. Not for the first nor last time, I was shattered. I lost the will to create. Adam and Turk were nothing but fleeting, rose-colored high school memories. I felt empty.

I wanted to die.

One night, I was up very late. I had classes the next morning, but I didn't care. I was idling around on an ancient laptop that my mom got for me (after literal MONTHS of begging) when an idea struck me. I wanted to write something magical. Something with adventure and fighting! Something that still had romance.

In March 2013, I started writing a series of stories that finally convinced me that I wanted to become a writer.

That series, is my beloved KoB.

I've faced a lot of hurdles that I'll discuss another time. My passion has waxed and waned as often as the moon, but writing, in some form, is still a large part of my life...and something that will always make me happy.

So now...here I am. In the dwindling hours before 2018 ends, and 2019 begins. Just looking back at it all makes me feel a certain kind of way--even with all the stuff I left out. The fact that, even though it's all been for one project, I've stuck to this stupid, silly fantasy set in the mid 2010s for over five years, is more than proof to me that this is where I belong.

This is a part of who I am.

And soon...2019 will be a part of that as well.

Happy New Year, everyone! We're all great! We all deserve love and recognition! Let's all work to make this year one of the best of our lives!

Aaaaand even if this year doesn't turn out so great, than it'll still be an important chapter in my life...and in everyone else's.

GRUNDY OUT!

[aquilacalvitium]

I just finished watching Jack play the boss and there are a few things I’d like to say to him.

To start off, I’m not going to pretend that I’m special or any better than the rest of the community; I’m just a random face in the crowd. I’ve made fanart and a work-in-progress fanfiction of Jackieboy Man, but other than that I haven’t really done much that would make me stand out. Regardless, I continue to give my full love and support on everything you do.

Now, I wish I could tell you that you helped me out of a dark point in my life like many other people, but that’s simply not the case. My life was nowhere special, not really headed anywhere special. The worst years of my life were already behind me. I was a completely different person to who I am now when I first stumbled across your channel. I can’t remember what videos of yours I watched first, but they must have had something special to make me want to subscribe, especially since I was very against swearing back then. I think that was near the end of 2015? Maybe 2016? I can’t remember. Probably 2015 though so let’s stick with that.

After a video or two I went silent on your channel for a few months as I continued to watch more family-friendly YouTubers until one day one of your videos showed up on my recommended list. I thought, what the hell? And clicked on it. Again, I don’t remember what video I watched, but I do remember laughing until my stomach hurt and thinking to myself, why did I ever stop watching him? I was hooked from then on.

Over time I got more and more invested in your videos, eventually got accustomed to your humour, and finally decided to join Tumblr. That decision had nothing to do with your channel when I made it, but it soon turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

It was so much easier to connect with people on Tumblr and most of the first blogs I followed were associated with your channel. Blogs like @chase-brody-protection-squad for example.

Within a couple of weeks, I’d found a fair few people who were also fans of your channel and Tumblr was starting to feel less like social media and more like a place where all these amazing people could hang out. I felt very blessed to be among them.

Now, the Tumblr JSE community feels like a second home to me. Other fandoms just feel like a mass of people competing to be the best fan or to see who gets to meet their idols first or trying to make them do things for entertainment or be in relationships. Honestly other fandoms  can feel like total hell sometimes. The JSE community is anything but that. It feels like more of a safe space where everyone can be themselves and no one is competing or shouting over each other - except in friendly ways. I feel like I can go up to almost any JSE fan and strike up a conversation, be it a friendly debate, a question or just a passing comment. Everyone gets along with everyone here which is just the best feeling ever.

Another thing I wanted to say is about something you addressed in the last video of The BOSS. You’re worried sometimes that people only come to see Jacksepticeye and don’t acknowledge Sean at all. I know for a fact that many people do but I’m going to speak for myself here. I may call you Jack because it’s the name I’m most used to hearing, but I’m really here for both Jack and Sean. Jack is the guy who makes me laugh and can brighten up any day. Sean is the guy who looks after us and genuinely cares for our wellbeing. One can’t be without the other. Otherwise, you’re not you.

Jack is the guy I see on camera, the guy who makes me laugh and smile all the time. Sean is the guy I think about when I think about you outside of your videos, and the guy who’s wellbeing I care about most. When I read your Twitter updates, I imagine what Sean might be doing at that moment, and how he must be feeling. Probably hanging out with Signe or his friends, or maybe trying to get work done.

I realise that sometimes YouTube or your personal life can get you down which is why I, among others, encourage you to take a step back and relax. You don’t have to be Jack, but you also don’t have to be Sean. Be whoever you feel most comfortable being.

To me, you’re not a brand. You’re not just a loud guy on my screen. You’re not just a person shouting and swearing at video games. You’re a genuine, caring and loving person who puts hours upon hours of effort into making us smile in whatever way possible. You’re a person with a life, feelings and relationships, all of which should be and - as far as I know - are respected by the community - which is more than I can say about other fandoms.

You’ve also inspired me and changed me for the better. I was inspired by other YouTubers to make my YouTube channel, but after a while things got slow and I stopped making videos. I was in a creative slump and was about to give up. Then you, along with one or two others, inspired me to keep going and doing my best. I completely rebranded my channel and started making new, different videos. By now I have sixty subscribers which is absolutely amazing! I know it doesn’t seem that much, but I only rebranded five months ago, so to gain a following that big in that amount of time is mind-blowing to me! I owe it all to you and a couple of others. You’ve also encouraged me to be as genuine as possible. I always try my best to make it clear in my videos that I’m being myself and I’m just doing it to make others happy. I make videos now because I enjoy it, but also because I love making other people smile - it’s the best feeling!

I’m not as creative as you and I don’t have much recording equipment so my videos aren’t great. I’m also trying to survive college so my current schedule is one video a month. But I keep trying, because if there’s one thing you taught me, it’s that if I enjoy something, I should follow it!

I just want to say thank you to the JSE community for all being to kind and genuine and just overall really lovely people. Every single person I’ve spoken to in this community has been incredible. And it’s not just the people I talk to, it’s the people I see/hear talking to and encouraging each other. A perfect example would be at this year’s PAX where one person stodd up to ask you a question and hesitated because they were scared. I almost teared up with pride when I heard fans shouting encouragement from their seats, letting that person know that there was nothing to worry about.

I look up to you as more than a YouTuber or idol, but as a friend. The way you interact with the community as a whole and individual people within the community doesn’t feel quite like an entertainer addressing his fans, but as a great friend, guiding and helping all of his friends. Nothing I say will ever come close to expressing the amount of gratitude and love that I have for you, but I hope this post can get the message across.

I’m sorry it’s so long, but I’ve had all of this building up over a while now and I needed to get it out.

In conclusion, I love you and the community with my entire heart and I honestly don’t know where my life would be without you all.

Thank you, Sean, from the very bottom of my heart, and thank you to the entire JSE community.

I could leave on a long, sappy note, but all I’m going to say for now is...

PMA!

@therealjacksepticeye

[working-on-becoming-a-better-me]

Day 253—Mar. 23, 2021

Okay, so the numbers for my previous consecutive posts were off by a day (like a day ahead) and February 7′s math was way off, but I googled this! so from here on out, we will be accurate! let’s go bois!

BIG UPDATE BOIS! Essentially? I’VE GOTTEN BETTER! Mental health is better, habits are better, outlook on life is better, productivity... isn’t as high as it was when I first started the blog, but it’s doing MUCH better than November and even January.

coping with minecraft:

So, I’m still addicted to the dream smp minecraft fandom. my friend got me a dream hoodie, bucket hat, and a georgenotfound hoodie for my birthday. but! I’m coping better. I’m behind on streams, and am now catching up during Spring Break. For a while, I was pushing back school work to watch and catch up on streams. I promised myself that during free periods I would work since I was catching up on streams at home, and then... yeah. ANYWAY! I’ve gotten a lot better at that recently by noticing that even fanart accounts (accounts dedicated to mcyt-ers) were talking about how they didn’t watch a phasmaphobia stream because they weren’t interested in it, or talking about how they were behind on streams... it really helped me accept the fact that I can be a real fan and not watch every single stream.

cultural convention:

My international school does events with other international schools but because of covid, we can’t travel. I act and made varsity drama (we call it a different name, but yeah!) and we had virtual conferences. I was incredibly friendly and loud and there were tons of zoom calls. Our schools kinda known for being... uh, stuck up? and kinda elitist. Not like I was being fake, but I was making an effort to talk during calls and be active on group chats made. I joke-flirt a lot and focused my attention on one person. A whole thing ensued, but some of the other actors in my school (there were only 11 of us) were joking abut sending me to “horny jail” and one girl kept apologizing for me. During “lounge sessions” I would interject with what I thought were funny comments and she’d say “again, I’d like to apologize for her behavior” and... uh... I cried at school. Cuz I’ve heard way too many times from too many different people about how I’m embarrassing... BUT.

What really helped was the fact that there were late night zoom calls and I was one of only three kids from my school the first night on a call with around 25 people. Other people said I helped give them a really good first impression of our school, especially considering all the things they’d heard previously. The guy I joke-flirted with (I previously dmed him asking if he was okay with it and he said he was) said on a call that I was one of the funniest people he’d met in a while. It was a huge confidence booster in knowing that the efforts I was making were paying off :)

confidence:

Since starting this blog, I’ve been trying to be nicer to myself. I’ve been practicing more positive self speak and have recently realized the difference between the way I speak about and to myself and how some other people do. Being nicer to myself out loud has helped a lot in feeling better and more comfortable.

I wanted to try wearing black masks, but my mom bought the wrong kind. They had patterns and I was really nervous because I didn’t really want to stand out. I used to not care, but... I dunno. Teenagehood and whatnot. We wear uniforms too, so the only differences are in accessories, hair, etc. I’m not sure why, but I was really nervous to wear the new mask patterns to school. But I told myself it was an experiment, to force me to be more confident. I actually forgot I was wearing it until I saw myself. And since I’d posted on my private story saying I was doing this to try and be more comfortable, some of my friends came up to me and told me it was actually cute. Shows that I really had nothing to stress for. Not that it was really self-expression, but for me, and anyone else who needs to hear this, no one cares. Maybe they even wish they had the courage to wear different things as well.

mcyt mantra:

I have a mantra now! adapted from something drunk Wilbur Soot said during Quackity’s livestream, I think. I repeat it when I’m happy and when I’m nervous or scared and I guess... I dunno, I’m like classically conditioning myself? Except not really since I’m doing it out of order. But yeah! get yourself a mantra!!!

character day:

more with confidence! spirit week is just an excuse for kids to not wear their uniforms, but I put a lot of effort into an Ace Ventura outfit I put together. I only saw around two or three other people actually dressed up as characters, but I had so much fun and thought I looked amazing. I was proud that I wasn’t a normie ;]

Also... it’s so humid in this country and the rubber bottoms of my boots actually stuck to the pavement and fell off. I spent the day without the bottoms of my shoes and it was so funny. Even my mom laughed after (she laughed for so long, it was adorable) and she said only I could pull it off and that the friend I walk to school with everyday is lucky to have me as a friend. My mom was telling me about how she never had a friend like me growing up, just so weird and goofy. And it made me happy to think that I can bring so much... zaniness to people’s lives

ao3:

been writing a lot more recently! haven’t been posting on my writing blog since it’s all fanfiction, but it’s helping me write! I update one of my stories every two weeks. When I feel like I’m not doing enough, it’s a nice reminder that I actually can be consistent. I may be getting better... who knows :)

nehs:

been editing lots of papers even though I don’t need to anymore since I made vp of my school’s nehs chapter. but it’s helping me learn too! I’m very instinctual when writing, but obviously when I’m editing I can’t just ask them to change something because “it doesn’t sound right”. So I google explanations and then tell the people who’s papers I’m editing. It helps both them and me!

ipad/drawing:

got a new ipad for my birthday. been messing around with procreate. been doodling in class (only dream team characters so far lol). might be getting better... hopefully I am!

also have a sticky notes app on my ipad and been creating to-do lists! yay!

teaching:

been teaching students in cambodia! last year I had a teaching partner who guided lessons mostly. this year I’m the leading teacher. It’s helping with my fear of leadership and responsibility.

social:

still not the most social, but more active on snapchat now with keeping in contact with some of the cultural convention kids. covids made it harder to keep in contact, and I’ve been trying to reach out more to my closest friend who I’ve not hung out with in a while. not that we don’t see each other at lunch every other day, but I walk to school with, share a class and after school study hall with another friend. so comparably, I’ve spent less time with my closest friend.

recently had a spa day with my small neighborhood gang! my friend painted my other guy friend’s nails! yes! we used face masks as well :)

general update:

- went to the pool the other day and now I’m hecka burnt

- yesterday I wrote letters for honor society points, caught up on math hw, wrote a reflection and plan for a class, reviewed chinese with my mom, met up with my “mentor” for a class

- have been helping a lot of people! am currently a part of two people’s pieces for their theater class and I have a rehearsal later today!

- was doing a lot of work as an officer of thespian honor society—I’m likely going to be on the officer team again next year and, until a few weeks ago, I hadn’t felt like I’d been doing much and was feeling unworthy. but then I was proactive about something and updated our sponser (school’s drama director) on what we as officers decided. felt... prettyyy goooodddd :)

- !!! yesterday I went on a walk and brought money and my student ID, ready to buy bubble tea, but then... I mustered up what little willpower I had and then didn’t buy it. Instead, I bought surprise lilies for my mom (and some groceries she asked me to get)   - been trying to cut out unnecessary sugars and foods. if I’m not hungry, I shouldn’t eat, but also... I listen to my body and if I’m feeling really snacky, I’ll indulge   - recently been craving ice cream, but not the flavors in my fridge so instead I’m just not eating ice cream at all and ate an apple once as a substitute :D

- not sure if I’ve been sleeping more, but it kinda feels like I have been?

- started taking pictures of the world when I think it’s pretty one sunny afternoon when I was laughing lots with a friend... especially right after cul con, I was taking a lot more pictures...

- just been more active (not physically... though occasionally, when bored, I’ll stretch some... but I should try and get more active (I mean... the walk yesterday?))... creatively speaking (ao3, with art), socially online (cul con kids), in person (making plans over spring break!)...

- I just feel like I’ve been putting more effort into life

of course, there are the down bits, like for one project based class where the end product is due in May-ish and it focuses on the “process”... I’m just... not... process-ing. I chose a writing project (why). I’m focusing a lot on my side projects, but not my class writing one :/ as well as that, when assignments pick up, I do too, but when I get down time I feel like I deserve it (which I do!) but I don’t work ahead. I’ve been really busy though. Teaching got cancelled because the school in Cambodia shut down unfortunately due to covid. But before spring break, I was teaching, editing papers, writing my own for lang, doing cul con and then catching up on work I missed because of cul con, studying for tests, attending rehearsals... there’s a lot going on and I need to recognize that I am doing so well, especially compared with a few months prior when I was in a much darker place.

mostly stress has been my plague, but yeah! also in the span of one week, two classes bumped up a grade (or half a grade... we have letters and + system (no -)) so my previously low gpa became slightly less low! It gave me confidence that I can end the semester strong!

procrastination: another plague. I keep delaying setting up college counseling meetings and have delayed this update for a while now... and the project-class...

also have babysitting jobs again so we gon get some monnaayyyyy! (job is not from people we met at the pool, but we did meet people at the pool and their kids liked me so much they asked me mom to get me to babysit them... another boost to confidence! yay :) I’m a likeable person :] )

thanks for sticking around! I’m glad I’m getting this update in because I’m doing... really well :D hope you guys are also doing well or that it gets better!