#zara loves taylor

[zaralovestaylor]

I am unwell x

[writtenwhalien]

jump then fall (into you) | part 2

banner by the talented @jimilter​ 💖

pairing ↠ jungkook x reader

genre ↠ cruise AU, fake dating AU, best friends to lovers AU | fluff, angst, smut

word count ↠ 52k (pt 2. 14k)

18+ | warnings ↠ swearing, drinking, sexual content: foreplay, oral m. and f., protected sex etc.

summary ↠ bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?

note. i hope you're enjoying! ☺️ don't forget to interact please + here's a few songs that inspired me and this story (more at the end too!): photograph — ed sheeran i think i fell in love today — kelsea bellerini where are you now — lost frequencies & calum scott 3:15 (breathe) — russ words — alesso & zara larsson jump then fall — taylor swift

part 2

🍉 note. while I have your attention, I would like to divert it to those in palestine as israel commits war crimes against them. Innocent men, women and children are being tortured, degraded, displaced and murdered endlessly — it is a genocide and we are all complicit if we do nothing.

as a minimum, please donate to legitimate organisations + boycott the big 3 — starbucks, disney and mcdonald’s — as well as others. feel free to message me for more information and/or donation links, thank you <3 🇵🇸

You know what he wants you to say, but as you feel his fingers around yo, all you can think of is how wrong they feel — they’re not as long as the ones you’re most familiar with, not as calloused on the palms  or soft from the back. Every moment with Jungkook from the past few weeks buzzes through your mind and it all starts to make sense – you’ve always known Jungkook makes you happy but you never thought about why…

Looking up at Lawrence, you nod slowly. “Yes,” you say, softening the words in the hopes it softens the blow.

It’s a quiet confession, not only because you’re pretending to date Jungkook, but because now you’re no longer sure if your heart is open to anyone else besides him.

Lawrence smiles, releasing a small breath he’d been holding. “I had to ask,” he chuckles.

You’re sure his cheeks are turning pink but with the dim lighting, you can’t be sure. 

Lips pursing, you nod.

There’s another moment of hesitation from him, then he kisses your cheek once before stepping back. 

“I’m glad I asked though, I’d probably regret it forever if I didn’t,” he adds, eyes gleaming as they look over your face. 

You manage to smile despite feeling bad and a little awkward now — it’s not every day someone confesses to your face like this. “It’s okay, I get it.” 

Just while your mind races to find an excuse to leave now, Lawrence’s gaze shifts to behind your shoulder and his eyes suddenly widen, face going somewhat pale. You turn around, eyes following his line of sight and when you see who’s standing there, you’re sure your expression mirrors Lawrence’s. 

Jungkook and Alias stand more than a few feet away by the staircase towards the upper decks, but it’s not hard to see their expressions from here. 

Alias purses his lips and looks at Jungkook before he shifts his weight awkwardly. But it’s Jungkook you’re focused on. His expression is blank and he just stares at Lawrence and you.

How long has he been standing there? Why isn’t he doing anything? And why do you only now realise how close you and Lawrence are still standing while holding hands too? 

You let go, stepping back abruptly too but you know it doesn’t make a difference. 

Jungkook's lips curl into a curt yet polite smile before he turns and disappears around the corner. 

What the hell is happening? 

Jungkook and you aren’t even dating for real for this to be a problem so why on earth does it feel like you’ve actually done something so wrong?

The guilty feeling in your chest grows as you stand still, still looking upon where he was.

“I’m so sorry,” Lawrence apologises immediately. “I can go talk to him, it was all my fault.”

“No it’s fine,” you shake your head, managing a smile. “I should talk to him, don’t worry.” 

He nods and you walk away before he can say anything else.

“Walk with me?” you say as you approach Alias. 

He nods, falling into stride beside you. “What was that about?” he asks, nodding back in the direction of Lawrence.

“Um, he told me he likes me, or at least did,” you wince. 

“Ah, that explains it.”

You shoot him a look. “That explains what?”

Alias hesitates. “Well, he looked like he was about to kiss you.”

Oh gosh. “But he wasn’t!” you exclaim in a hushed whisper. “I wouldn’t do that!” 

“I know!” Alias exclaims too, “But it still didn’t look good. I’m assuming that’s why Jungkook just left.”

“You think he’s upset by it?”

“Well what else could it be?”

Sighing, you slow down. 

Alias looks at you confused. “What’s wrong?”

“What am I doing?” you ask rhetorically, thinking out loud.

Raising his brows, Alias points down the corridor. “Finding your boyfriend to explain what’s happening?” he says almost sarcastically. 

“But that’s just it, he’s not actually my boyfriend so why did he walk off? And why do I feel bad about it?” You feel like you sound a bit helpless but at this moment you don’t actually care, at least not with Alias. 

It’s confusing — first you find yourself having all these weird moments with Jungkook, then Lawrence tells you he likes you only for you to realise that maybe you actually do like Jungkook, and now Jungkook walking off like this…

Could he actually be upset by this?

Alias’s expression softens and he places his hands on your shoulders, squeezing gently. “I think you know why.”

You frown, lips pouting. “What are you trying to say?”

He chuckles, pulling you in for a hug. “I’m not saying anything. You’re figuring this out on your own.” He pulls back and takes your arm in his as he walks slowly down the corridor again. “Now, what are you going to say to Jungkook?”

His question is met with silence, but he doesn’t push any further as you take the time to think. 

You’re well aware of what Alias is trying to say to you but there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to acknowledge it — more like you don’t know how to acknowledge it. 

Maybe you do like him? Or maybe you’re just confused? It could definitely just be lust, or even just loneliness as it has been a long time since you’ve last been with anyone. Or maybe all the pretending has gotten to your head? — that’s definitely a plausible reason for the way you’re feeling. 

Although, it really doesn’t feel like it. There’s a reason pretending to date Jungkook comes so easily to you. Being with him is natural to you because you’ve always felt like you belong together; now you realise you’ve been feeling that romantically not just platonically. Having been so close to him for so many years has created a safety blanket around you, one that you can’t imagine living without and most definitely can’t ever replace. Even the thought of coming on this trip without him felt so wrong. There must be a reason why it doesn’t feel surprising to you that at some point, your feelings crossed the line from friends to something more.

“I don’t know,” you groan quietly. “This is so weird, what does someone say in this situation?”

Alias actually takes a moment to consider this. “Actually,” he starts, pulling on your arm to stop walking. “You need to be sure of how you feel before you say anything.”

He’s right.

“Take some time,” Alias says. “Maybe just address what happened with Lawrence for now?”

You nod. “Okay, I’ll just tell him what happened.”

“Yeah, do that,” Alias nods too. He looks down the corridor but makes no move to walk any further with you. 

Your cabin is only a few doors away so you hug him goodbye, and after he wishes you good luck, you make your way towards it.

Clearing your mind, you focus on the simple goal for now. Just let Jungkook know that there’s nothing between Lawrence and you — what he saw isn’t what it looked like. 

Tapping into your room, you feel your heart race a little faster as your nerves rise. Jungkook isn’t anywhere in the cabin but you can hear water running in the bathroom. 

Taking a deep breath, you mentally scold yourself to get it together. Some of your clothes from earlier in the day are still scattered on the bed so you decide to at least clear these away while you wait. 

It isn’t long until you hear the lock clicking and Jungkook walks out of the bathroom. 

You look up to see him patting his face dry with a towel. He’s already dressed for bed and you note that he’s wearing a top this time. 

When he sees you, his face shows no surprise or even much emotion at all. He simply nods and averts his gaze almost immediately. “Hey,” he says, tossing the towel into the laundry basket. 

“Hey,” you respond quietly while keeping your eyes on him. 

He walks over to the bed and starts picking up some of his own mess. If the situation were any different, you wouldn’t really think anything was wrong by the way Jungkook is acting. But you know Jungkook. 

For starters, he never folds his clothes neatly before putting them away. He usually just roughly puts them together and hides them away somewhere, yet here he is, laying out a shirt and folding the sleeves with much focus.

“Um, Jungkook…?”

He looks up immediately. “Yeah?” There’s no irritation or anger or anything else in his expression. Just the usual concern you’re used to seeing on his face whenever you call him. 

“Are you okay?” you ask, feeling stupid as soon as you ask it. 

“Yeah, of course,” he answers, shrugging as he resumes folding his clothes. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” 

“Good.”

Turning away to put your clothes in the drawer, you frown to yourself. You know he knows why you’re asking — him walking off like that wasn’t normal and now him acting like nothing’s happened…

“So,” he says, clearing his throat. “You and Lawrence…”

There it is. You turn to face him again. He’s still looking down as he folds his clothes but you don’t need to see his face to know he’s not looking forward to the answer. 

“You like each other?” His voice is steady but you can hear the quiet reservations that come with it. 

“No,” you answer immediately. 

He pauses for a second and you expect him to say something, but he doesn’t. He only nods and carries on putting his clothes away. 

You tell him everything. “We bumped into each other during the game because I was kind of confused about where to go after me and you split up. We just started talking and it came up that I used to have a crush on him way back in high school, and as we spoke…” you watch Jungkook carefully, still unable to see his face as he stays looking down, “… he just ended up telling me how he used to have a crush on me when we were growing up and it apparently never really went away.” 

It’s now that Jungkook finally looks up. He has a small smile on his face — not a smirk, not anything to show you it’s anything other than a genuine smile despite it not being his usual smile that meets his eyes.

“So Lawrence likes you then.” He says it more surely, as though he’s just reaffirming a fact rather than asking a question. 

You hesitate. “Well, yes, he does but he knows I don’t like him.”

As his smile fades a little, Jungkook raises a brow. “Are you sure?”

“Positive,” you say, feeling something heavy begin to weigh down your chest. 

Jungkook considers this. His gaze is steady as he looks at you from across the room, looking for any clue that might suggest otherwise to him. 

The longer he stares, the more you feel the weight on your chest. You don’t like this — you don’t like that Jungkook could even think for a minute that you like anyone else. Since high school, you haven’t had any real feelings for anyone and as Lawrence made you realise, it’s all because of Jungkook.

“Jungkook?” your voice comes out coarse and quiet. 

He looks away, jaw shifting as he now chooses to roughly fold his clothes together. Then — 

“I think we should stop the whole dating thing, it was my fault so I’ll tell whoever I need to tomorrow.” He says it clearly and decisively. “I don’t wanna hold you back, you should give Lawrence a chance.”

With a scoff, your brows knit together and you frown at him. “I just told you, I don’t like him.” 

“He was your high school crush for years, you’ve always wanted this.”

He says it so nonchalantly now and it makes you angry because you know just moments ago he was upset because of this. Sure, he didn’t say anything, but Jungkook is your best friend and you know him more than anyone else. 

“Well not anymore!” you blurt. “Why don’t you believe me?”

Jungkook looks at you and immediately you can recognise the small signs of him feeling hurt but he does well to disguise it as best as he can. “I saw how you looked at him that night, Y/N. It was pretty clear how smitten you were, anyone could see it.”

Immediately, you’re confused. “What are you talking about?” 

“Cartagena,” he responds, almost despondent. “You came out of the venue together and it was clear from your face that you were over the moon to have him there.”

Now you remember… and devastatingly enough, you realise Jungkook isn’t wrong. You remember how you felt when you initially bumped into him — it was a childish kind of excitement when seeing your crush but that’s all it was. Seeing him just brought back memories and that small part of you came out because it had been so long but since then you know there’s been nothing. 

Jungkook, however, wouldn’t know that. You realise that you must’ve looked how he’s describing and gosh, you can’t even imagine how you’d feel if the roles were reversed. 

Before you can ever try to find the words to explain how you feel, a knock sounds at the door. 

Jungkook is the one who answers it since you’re still too caught up in your thoughts. 

You even remember how you’d stupidly been flirting with him right in front of Jungkook, you pretty much called him ‘tall, handsome and mysterious’ when you were supposed to be “dating” Jungkook– 

“Lawrence.”

You turn immediately at the sound of Jungkook’s voice. Sure enough, Lawrence is standing there in the doorway looking exactly as he was when you left him. 

“Uh, hey,” he says, nodding awkwardly as he glances between Jungkook and you. 

You just stare at him blankly. This really doesn’t help you right now. 

“Hey,” Jungkook says with a smile, resorting to his usual politeness. “What’s up?”

Lawrence hesitates, still glancing between you both. “Sorry, I was thinking about whether or not I should come but I figured the sooner the better… uh…” he looks down, clearly feeling bad. “I just had to apologise, I told Y/N about how I felt and that was inappropriate and stupid of me when she’s with y—“

“We’re not together.”

Lawrence looks up and at the same time, your eyes snap to Jungkook. 

If you thought him saying that was harsh, the blank way in which he says it hurts even more. 

“We never were,” Jungkook says. “Y/N just agreed to help me out by pretending to be my girlfriend because my ex is on this trip.” 

Lawrence’s face changes from confusion to surprise to realisation within a few seconds. But you’re not looking at him. 

Your focus is solely on Jungkook. You can’t clearly describe what emotions you’re feeling. There’s a bit of everything — it hurts, that’s for sure, but you’re also angry at him for so rashly telling Lawrence and you can’t help but feel betrayed. 

Pretending to date Jungkook has been nothing but easy for you and these past few days have taught you it’s because there’s probably a huge part of you that wants this. For Jungkook to just end it so suddenly makes you feel like he doesn’t want you the same way you want him. 

You wonder if it’s naive to think he wants you back, but you do. Alex has told you countless times, heck all the Cirillo siblings have made a remark or something about Jungkook and you at least once every time you’ve met. Even Lawrence has seen it apparently. Though, none of this necessarily means it’s true. 

With the silence in the room, Jungkook looks at you. He holds little emotion in his face but the way his lips are pursed tightly tells you he’s holding back something. 

“Uh,” Lawrence glances between you both, “I’m gonna go. Sorry again for everything,” he adds in a mutter. He closes the door as he leaves and you’re left alone with Jungkook. 

“Why would you do that?” you ask as soon as the door clicks. 

“Because he likes you. I’m not gonna stand in the way of that.”

Your expression falters. Fuck, it’s been a long time since you last wanted to cry but you’ll be damned if you let him see you. Steeling yourself, your jaw clenches.

Despite your best efforts, of course, Jungkook still notices. His own steely expression softens and he almost says something but then stops. For a second, you think he might apologise and even tell you something you want to hear. But he doesn’t. 

“What am I supposed to do?” Jungkook asks softly.

There’s a hundred other things he could do but he chose this — even after you’ve told him how you feel about Lawrence. 

“Fine,” you flare. “Tell everyone.” Without another glance at him, you walk past him to the bathroom and slam the door shut. 

It’s only after a quick shower and some much needed TLC, that you come out of the bathroom. 

Truthfully, you didn’t expect Jungkook to still be in the cabin, but it doesn’t make the feeling in your chest go away when you see he’s not there. 

There’s so many questions going round and round in your head that it hurts. You trudge across the room, slipping into the bed and finding solace with the comfort of your silk sheets that still smell of Jungkook. 

Everything Alex said to you at the start of this trip keeps replaying in your mind — you want it to be true, and sure most of the time it feels true too. But with the way this past hour has gone, you can’t help but doubt it. 

If Jungkook really liked you, he wouldn’t have told Lawrence the truth, would he? It doesn’t make sense, why would he? He should’ve wanted to have kept it up the same way you do. Pretending to date Jungkook is as close as you’re getting to the real thing and that’s something that you’re sure that you want. 

Now though, you don’t even have that. 

It’s not exactly something you can blame Jungkook for. There was no reason for him to keep it up, especially if you haven’t told him why you want to. 

Maybe you should tell him now though?

No. That’s too scary. Sure, you want him to know, but the idea of him not feeling the same way is way worse than anything else. Plus, what if he starts to feel uncomfortable around you, you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if he felt that way. 

Releasing a heavy sigh, you sink further into the bed and close your eyes. 

You shouldn’t say or do anything else until things go back to normal. That’s the best thing to do. 

With your mind made up, you try to fall asleep but it proves to be more difficult than normal. With every minute that passes, you wonder where Jungkook is and what he’s doing. It’s only been 15 minutes but you’re already deciding whether or not you should message him. 

It’s always been like this with Jungkook — your arguments never usually last longer than a day and most times you settle them straight away. 

This feels different. 

The sound of the door clicking open simultaneously relaxes you and raises your heart rate. 

As Jungkook makes his way across the room, your heart decides to do all kinds of acrobatics. Inwardly, you curse at yourself for not realising your feelings sooner. 

You can hear the sound of his shirt being pulled off as he changes into his pyjamas. A moment later, he’s carefully moving the covers back on his side of the bed as he gets in slowly so as not to wake you. 

Moments pass in silence and you wonder if he’s fallen asleep, but then…

“Y/N?” His voice is barely above a whisper and just like that, your heart jumps again. 

Instead of responding, you turn around to lie on your back. As you lower your hands to your side, you accidentally brush his hand. Reflexively, you move your hand to rest on your stomach instead. 

Noticing this, Jungkook turns to look at you. You’re sure he can’t see you very well in the dark but with the white of the ship’s exterior safety lights coming in from the gaps in the shutters, it’s still easy to see fairly well. 

For a brief moment, he doesn’t say anything and you don’t turn to look at him. Then, he looks back up at the ceiling too. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, sounding deflated.

It hurts you to know he’s feeling bad about something that isn’t even his fault. If it wasn’t for the way you’re feeling, you wouldn’t care about him telling Lawrence and you wouldn’t have argued with him for him to be apologising now.

“It’s okay,” you respond quietly, finding it too hard to find the words to say anything else.

“No, it’s not,” Jungkook sighs. “I shouldn’t have done that without asking you, especially since I made you do it in the first place. This whole thing was stupid, I shouldn’t have let it happen.”

“You didn’t make me do anything,” you mumble as his last words play over in your head – this whole thing was stupid. “It was Alex.” Does he really think it was stupid? It never felt stupid to you, it just felt right. 

“Yeah, but it’s because of me it happened and I could've stopped it.”

“I didn’t mind…” 

You feel lame saying it because the real reason you didn’t mind is because it was the closest you’d get to dating Jungkook, but you say it because you don’t want him to feel bad about any of it.

“I know,” he says softly in understanding. “I think it’s just best to tell everyone it wasn’t real.”

You haven’t experienced anything like this before – there’s a heavy feeling in your chest trying to fight its way out. It’s causing the lump in your throat and you can’t tell if you want to cry or just tell him the truth right here, right now. 

But you don’t. “Okay,” is all you say.

He must hear something in your voice – he’s attuned to every frequency of yours and the emotion that comes with it, just as you are with him. You know how sad you sounded just then and undoubtedly he’s picked up on it.

He looks at you, trying to analyse your features in the dark. Then, his hand moves and you feel his palm closing around yours, pulling your hand between your bodies to rest on the bed with your fingers intertwined. “Again, I’m sorry.”

You’re looking at him too now. Have his hands always felt this warm? Have they always fit into your own so perfectly? 

“I know, it’s okay,” you answer, still fighting that feeling in your chest.

His brows knit together. “You promise?”

“I promise.”

Gently, he squeezes your hand and his features relax.

That feeling in your throat pushes harder and you realise you want to tell him. Maybe it’s because it’s dark right now it seems easier to let the truth out, almost as though it’ll stay a secret in the dark. 

“Also,” he says, voice suddenly softer, “for what it’s worth, I think Lawrence is an amazing guy.”

All other thoughts come to a halt in your mind and you swallow hard. “Why are you saying that?” 

Jungkook looks back up at the ceiling and when he talks, it’s a little quieter than before. “Just, I know how you used to feel about him and if he feels this way about you now, well, it could be good for you,” he adds with a shrug. 

You’re unable to mask the frustration in your voice.  “I already told you,” you say, “I’m not  interested in him.”

Jungkook looks at you again with his brows furrowed in concern. “I know…” he hesitates with a sigh, “I just…” 

“Forget it,” you mutter, pulling your hand free from his. “I’m going to sleep.” 

Jungkook says nothing as you roll over with your back to him, and you say nothing else either. 

The feeling in your chest has subsided but it’s been replaced with another feeling, more like an ache which you’re determined to sleep away. 

It feels almost impossible as your thoughts stream endlessly through your mind, each and every one about Jungkook and the words that you’ve left unsaid. But somehow, at some point, the thoughts slip away as the weariness of the day takes over and you finally fall asleep. 

It’s hot. 

Jungkook pushes you hard against the wall, his thigh parting your legs as he grabs your waist tight. His breaths are heavy as his nose skims your neck, teasing you before he settles in the sweet spot behind your ear. 

You’re just about managing to hold yourself up though if it weren’t for his grip on you, you’re sure your knees would give way. 

There’s barely any material separating you from his thigh and you’re desperate for some friction down there. With your arms around his neck, you rock yourself against him to find some much needed relief. 

You’re moaning and Jungkook chuckles, a sweet deep sound that makes you want more, and he gives it to you as his hand slips between your legs.

Gosh it’s hot.

It is hot. 

That’s the first thing that your barely conscious mind picks up on. 

It’s the middle of summer–you don’t know why you can feel the weight of the blanket on you. You dimly remember getting under it when you got into bed but normally you always stick a leg out or something before going to sleep. 

You try to move your leg now to push it past the covers and out into the cool air, but it doesn’t budge. 

Something is in the way. 

Still half asleep, you try again as you think it’s just the covers tucked under your leg — only now you realise that’s not the cover, it’s another leg and it’s not yours…

You didn’t realise something was missing when you were falling asleep a few hours ago. Why would you? You were completely preoccupied with other things to have remembered it. 

It’s now that you come to your senses and realise what’s happened — you forgot the pillow. 

You forgot the pillow as a physical boundary between Jungkook and you, and now the exact thing you wanted to avoid is happening. 

Jungkook’s warmth surrounds you from everywhere. His breath is gentle and quiet by your neck, his chest close to your back and his legs are somehow tangled with yours. His arm is draped over your frame, hand resting comfortably by your stomach. 

What’s most obvious to you though, is your ass tucked comfortably against him, no doubt right against his crotch. 

Fuck. This is simultaneously a dream and a nightmare. It feels so good to be this close but you know it’s so wrong, especially after the actual dream you just had which given your situation now, explains why you’re still feeling so needy down south. 

You try to shift slightly again but it doesn’t work — Jungkook sighs softly in his sleep, leg moving to rest on top of yours. 

Great. Now you’re actually stuck like this. 

Eyes closing, you try to think of what to do but as you run it through your mind, you come to the conclusion to stay exactly as you are. 

How bad can it be? With the sun shining through the cracks in the blind, you can tell it’s probably 10 am so all you have to do is pretend to fall asleep again, Jungkook will wake up very soon, he���ll realise and then he’ll just move away. Then it’ll be as though nothing ever happened. 

Besides, it really does feel so good to have him holding you like this. Sure, Jungkook hugs you a lot and in general is pretty affectionate with you but this. Having him softly breathing down your neck as he sleeps comfortably with you in his arms — it’s a feeling that satisfies something you never knew you needed. 

The only problem is it’s more than a little difficult to fall asleep when you can feel the hard outline of his little friend down there. Fuck, life is really testing you right now and it really doesn’t help that your pyjama bottoms are silk so you can feel a lot more of him than expected. 

Groaning internally, you try to scoot away once more but it doesn’t work. Not only that, you actually didn’t just groan internally but out loud. You almost clap your hand over your mouth when you feel Jungkook shift behind you once before going still again. 

Except this time, you can’t feel his warm breath on you for a second… then it comes back, but this time it’s different. You’ve spent enough of your lifetime with Jungkook to know that he breathes heavily when he sleeps and right now, he’s no longer asleep. 

You’re not quite sure what comes over you, maybe it’s the heat getting to your head, or maybe you’re emboldened by the fact that Jungkook is awake and he hasn’t moved away from you… ever so slightly, you push your hips back against Jungkook’s crotch. 

A sharp intake of breath from behind you confirms exactly what you wanted to know. 

You do it again and this time, Jungkook reciprocates in kind. You can feel him even better now and the hard outline of his dick pushing against you makes you let out the softest whine, barely audible but with Jungkook so close to you, there’s no doubt he heard you. 

Fuck. You feel almost dizzy and you’re certain that you’re not thinking clearly right now – this is Jungkook, your best friend… you try to remind yourself of that as you wait for him to do something more, but the only thing that repeats in your head is this is Jungkook. Jungkook, the man you love and adore so much and right now you can only think enough to know that whatever is happening right now, you want it. 

With bated breath, you wait for what feels like an eternity but is probably only a few seconds, then Jungkook’s hand slides from across your stomach to hold your hip.

“Y/N?” 

His sleepy voice so close sends a swirl of excitement through you. 

“Yes?” you answer in a breathy murmur.

“I…,” he whispers, barely audible. His hand slides up your side, stopping below your breast. 

You can tell he’s hesitating to move further so without hesitation, you roll your hips against him which elicits small moans of pleasure from both of you and in response, Jungkook’s hand begins to move again and you’re anticipating the feeling of his strong hands grabbing on to you where you want them so bad–

Knock knock knock knock knock. “Sleepy heads, what time do you call this?!”

– Only to be interrupted by the one and only Alias. 

Immediately, Jungkook withdraws and moves faster than you can even process. He’s out of bed and throwing on the closest hoodie just as you turn around, still catching on from whatever the hell just happened. Despite the dark lighting in the room, you can tell he’s flustered from the look on his face but goddamn he looks so cute with his messed hair and you could not be more annoyed about being interrupted right now. 

He pauses, turning towards you and just as your eyes meet, there’s the loud knocking again followed by Alias yelling whatever it is he’s saying. 

You’re more focused on how Jungkook is looking at you to comprehend anything else. In this split second, he looks like he has a thousand things to say but not a single thing comes out of his mouth except…

“I’m sorry.” He says it so fast that in the seconds it takes you to realise what he just said, he’s already at the door letting Alias in. 

“You’re not even dressed,” Alias says the second the door opens and he sees Jungkook. “And you’re not even up,” he says as he sees you. Shaking his head, he walks over to the blinds, completely unaware of the tension that is still heavy in the room between Jungkook and you. 

You glance at Jungkook again to see him looking at the floor but it’s as though he can sense your eyes on him because he looks up and your eyes meet for the second time. You’re sure your expression must mirror his – flustered, somewhat guilty, but mostly just confused. 

You know why you’re confused – in the last few days you’ve come to the realisation that your feelings for your best friend are more than just platonic and this happening makes you wonder what the hell Jungkook is thinking… is he feeling the same way as you? God, you can only hope… Or is he repulsed by what he’s just done and is completely regretting it now?

“Honestly, Y/N, I’m actually surprised that I’m up before you,” Alias continues as he rolls up the blinds. “You’re usually the responsible one. And Jungkook, you know we were supposed to meet at nine, it’s almost 11 now and we’ll be arriving tomorrow morning and we were supposed to meet with Alex this morning to go through the plans for the weekend, did you forget—?“ Alias pauses mid sentence, turning to look at you with a frown. 

For a second, you think he’s caught on to everything, but thankfully, it’s not that. 

“Why do I sound like my parents?” He shudders, looking at Jungkook too. “I must be getting old.”

Both Jungkook and you laugh, albeit awkwardly. This, however, doesn’t go unnoticed by Alias. His frown changes to something more curious as he looks between you. 

You expect him to say something about it but he doesn’t. 

“Well, Jungkook, he’s still waiting to speak with you, he’s already briefed the other guys.”

“Right,” Jungkook nods, now avoiding your gaze as he grabs his clothes. “I’ll just get ready, I won’t be long.”

“Cool,” Alias says, taking a seat in the armchair by the window. “I’ll wait for you then.”

As soon as Jungkook has disappeared into the bathroom, Alias turns to you. “Did you tell him?” he asks immediately.

Still slightly befuddled, you frown. “Huh?”

“Last night, you said you weren’t gonna say anything about how you feel but why are you both acting so different?”

“Oh.” All of last night comes back to you in an instant. Lawrence confessing, your conversation with Alias and everything else that happened with Jungkook after. “No, I didn’t,” you pause, brows knitting even further together before you look at Alias. “But I think he might know anyway.”

Alias’s brows shoot upwards. “What makes you think that?”

Because he was just feeling me up in bed and if you hadn’t walked in it seemed like it would have gone further. Well, you absolutely can’t say that. 

“I don’t know.” 

Frowning, Alias moves to sit at the end of the bed. “Are you okay?” He reaches forward and puts a hand on your knee.

“Yeah,” you nood, smiling as you take his hand to reassure him. You’re sure you must look like a bit of a mess, not only have you just gotten up but your mind and pulse is racing from what just happened with Jungkook – whatever it was. “Could you just give us a minute though?” 

“Sure,” Alias answers, getting up right away. “Just text me if you need anything,” he says. “I’ll be waiting on the deck for you guys.” He stops by the door, turning around. “But Alex is still waiting for Jungkook too.”

“We won’t be long,” you reassure him with a smile.

He nods once more before leaving the room. 

You’re left with only the noise of your thoughts and the shower running in the bathroom. You can feel your pulse racing as you push the covers back and get out of bed. It still feels so hot in here so you find the AC controller and blast the cool air to help calm yourself down as you try to process what just happened.

What did just happen? Were you and Jungkook really about to do something? Just thinking of it sends butterflies swirling down south but they’re quickly sent off track when you ask yourself what on earth it means?

You know why you were okay with it all happening… if you didn’t have feelings for him, you would never have let it happen, but you do, so you didn’t stop it. Is it the same for Jungkook? The idea of Jungkook liking you is far from foreign – Alex has always been trying to tell you but you just never believed it… this, however, has you in two minds. 

Or, there’s also the other more plausible reason. Jungkook woke up and realised his hard dick was enjoying the fact that there was another warm female body in such close vicinity to him so naturally, he made his move and you didn’t object so he went along with it. You’ve had your own small share of experiences with friends who you ended up doing more with without any feelings involved and so has Jungkook, maybe he just thought that’s what this was…  God, even just the thought of that hurts. 

The bathroom door clicks open and your head snaps up.

Jungkook walks out still scruffing his hair dry with a towel. He’s dressed casually for the day but he still looks as good as ever to you. He pauses after a few steps when he sees Alias has gone and slowly, he lowers the towel and looks at you. 

You feel small because you’re so unsure of where you stand with him right now. Pressing your palms with your fingers, you try to relax and think clearly but it’s hard when your heart is pounding in your chest and wants nothing more than for him to confess he has the same feelings as you do.

Still, as you look at Jungkook, it seems like he feels small too. His fingers are squeezing the towel as he switches it between his hands and he hesitates, starting to say something before he stops. 

You so badly want to say something, anything, but you have no idea what. How do you start? Can we talk about what just happened? Did you like it? Do you like me? Because I like you, a lot. Gosh, if only it was that damn easy. 

“Um,” Jungkook starts but looks away from you. “I’m sorry about what happened…” He loosely points to the bed.

Startled, you just stand there for a moment. He’s sorry?… “You’re sorry?” you repeat.

“Yeah, I, uh, I don’t know what I was thinking.” 

“So, you weren’t thinking about what you were doing…?” you echo, starting to feel like a stupid parrot. He regrets it, of course he does.

Jungkook blinks, somewhat confused but you don’t blame him. You’re asking for clarification for selfish reasons – you need to know if he thinks what just happened was a mistake because it was far from a mistake for you. 

“No…” Jungkook hesitates, his face rounding as he looks at you. You’re sure he can tell you’re upset by what he’s saying. “Were you?” he asks.

“No.” It’s not a lie – you really weren’t thinking about what was happening, just that you enjoyed it. 

As soon as you say it, you’re sure you see Jungkook deflate. Did he want me to say yes? No, that doesn’t make sense, he said no first. 

“Right, yeah.” He clears his throat as he fiddles with the towel again. “I’m sorry it happened, I wouldn’t ever want to make you feel uncomfortable.” He says it with such sincerity that your chest tightens.

“I didn’t feel uncomfortable.” The words come out before you can even stop them but you want him to know that, you’d hate for him to feel bad about something like this when it’s far from his fault that you let it happen just because you like him and wanted it to be something more.

Jungkook’s expression is the same as before, eyes rounding and there’s that barely-there pout to his lips as he asks, “You didn’t?” 

“No, I didn’t.” Shit, what are you saying, Y/N? You can hear the blood rushing through your ears and you start to feel sick. “But… it wasn’t supposed to happen?” You mean for it to come out as a question but you have no clue if it did.

“I, no,” Jungkook clears his throat again and he nods. “It was just a mistake then, it won’t happen again.” Now he looks away from you completely as he goes and puts the towel into the laundry basket.

Suddenly, you feel yourself on the verge of breaking. How can he be so composed right now when you feel like you simultaneously want to shout at him to tell him how much he means to you, and cry endlessly because–does he really not feel anything for you?

“Alias is waiting for you upstairs,” you say, walking past him to go into the bathroom. “I’ll meet you later.”

You leave no time for him to respond but just before you close the door, you catch a glimpse of his confused doe eyes and just like that, your heart sinks again.

“Could it really be?” your dad pretends to rub his eyes, blinking a few times as his face morphs into a grin. “Our daughter is here to grace us with her presence, I don’t believe it.”

Your mom laughs, gently patting your hand as you sit down between them. 

“Ha-ha, very funny dad,” you deadpan, throwing him a grumpy look.

“I’m only kidding, honey. I’m just glad you’ve decided to join us for lunch.”

“Of course,” you shrug. “I’ll even make your plates, what do you want?”

Your dad throws your mom a look. “Our princess is spoiling us today.”

Rolling your eyes playfully, you head over to the buffet table to prepare two plates for your parents with everything you know they like. Just as you turn back to return to your table, you catch Jungkook watching you from across the balcony.

He’s on a table with Alex, Sophia and a few others. Meeting your gaze, he gives a small smile before looking away. Gosh you never knew a smile could hurt so much. 

Ignoring the pang in your chest, you return to your parents and slump into the seat.

“Where’s yours?” your dad asks, already reaching for a sandwich. 

“I’m not that hungry,” you mumble, taking a strawberry and biting into it. 

Not so slyly, your parents exchange glances. They choose to say nothing for the moment, making small talk as they enjoy their lunch. 

Once your dad is on his second cup of coffee, your mum takes your hand and squeezes gently. Looking up, you take comfort in the smile you see on her face. You know that both your parents are aware that there’s something on your mind – it’s why you’ve chosen to sit silently in their company while they have their own light hearted conversation. You also know that their advice is usually unparalleled to anyone else’s and right now, you could really do with some of their wise words.

“Is there anything you want to eat, honey?” your mom asks.

“The fruit is fine,” you answer quietly.

In response, your dad piles all the fruit into the plate in front of you while your mother gently continues probing.

“You’ve lost your appetite then… that usually happens for a reason, hm?”

You don’t say anything and she continues. 

“Would it have anything to do with Jungkook?”

The rounded eyes you give your mom must give it away immediately as she lets out a small sigh.

“How could you tell?” you ask. 

“He came down ten minutes before you,” your dad answers, “he normally always waits for you. Not to mention the funny look you gave each other just a little while ago.”

Sighing, you slump further into your seat. “We got into an argument last night,” you admit, feeling like a five year old again. 

It seems so stupid to say out loud, especially because you don’t think you can bring yourself to reveal the real reason the argument feels as bad as it does – the reason being your feelings for him – but you don’t really care about feeling like a kid when it’s your parents. They’re the only people you can be this vulnerable with and at times like this, you want their comfort and company the most. You would love to tell them the whole story but there’s no way you’re telling them what just happened this morning so you go with everything else.

“It wouldn’t be the first,” your mom says, still holding your hand as she takes it into her lap.

“No, but this felt different…”

Your mom hums, gently playing with the bracelet on your wrist. Neither she nor your dad say anything, waiting for you to continue on your own.

Closing your eyes, you let out part of the truth. “Lawrence told me he likes me.”

Your mom’s fingers pause briefly before she continues twisting the charms between her fingers. Looking up, you catch your parents exchanging glances, most definitely surprised but they’re subtle about it. 

“He told me last night and I made it clear it wouldn’t work… but I think it looked different to Jungkook and he just kept telling me I should give Lawrence a chance even though I told him I don’t want to.”

“That’s what you argued about?” your dad asks. 

“Mhm.” 

“Lawrence telling you that…” your dad pauses momentarily before continuing, “how did it make you feel?” 

“It was weird,” you admit. “I used to have a big crush on him.” 

“Oh, we know,” your mom says with a smile. 

Despite it being in the past, it still feels so embarrassing — you were such a wide eyed 16 year old with a fat school crush that even your parents noticed. 

“But I don’t now,” you mumble, cheeks warming as you keep your head lowered. “I told him that and I guess I felt kinda bad too. It’s been a while since we left school.”

Your father hums in agreement. “That’s a long time to like someone,” he says, head cocking as he looks at you knowingly. 

“I know.” 

Squeezing your hand, your mom takes over. “And what about Jungkook?”

“Well, when I told him, he was insisting I should give it a try.”

“That doesn’t seem like such a bad thing to suggest,” your dad shrugs. “I’d say the same thing, after all, you said it yourself that you liked him before and Lawrence is a good guy.”

“Yeah but I don’t now,” you reiterate. “I thought Jungkook would know that.”

“You’ve been single since you left college, Y/N, there’s absolutely no reason for him to think your heart is elsewhere…” he pauses, patting your leg, “unless you tell him.”

“Huh?” You look at your dad but he’s already looked away, a smirk on his face as he takes a sip of his coffee. 

“I, what would I…?” you sputter, looking at your mom and seeing the smile on her face, you fall quiet. 

So much for trying to keep this a secret — if your parents know then you wonder if anyone else knows. Although, of course no one else knows you as much as your parents and here they are telling you to tell Jungkook how you really feel but it’s still so nerve wracking to you. 

There’s so many times you can think of that would make you think he likes you as much as you like him, but then there‘s also that voice of reason in your head that tells you you’re reading into it too much. Jungkook doesn’t like you romantically as much as you wish he would. 

Chin lifting, you get up. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you say, “but thanks for the chat,” you smile, giving a quick kiss on the cheek to both of them. 

“Darling, you’ll regret it if you don’t,” your dad says as you’re walking off. 

“No idea what you mean,” you call out with an airy wave of your hand. 

Walking across the length of the deck, you steal a glance in the direction of Jungkook only to see he’s no longer there. Looking around, you can’t see him anywhere. Resigned, you find an empty table that’s out of sight from everyone you know and slump into the chair to be alone with your thoughts. 

No one knows you better than your parents, not even Jungkook and if they’re telling you to tell him then you can’t argue that there’s a big part of you that agrees and even wants to tell him.  How would it feel to have Jungkook as yours? Sure, you have him more than anyone else right now — you share everything together, the good stuff, the bad stuff, and all the days in between… 

It’s something you’ll forever be grateful for because if you can’t have all of Jungkook then you’ll take the little things whenever you can. Still though, you know it’s not the same when all you are to him is a best friend; his response to what happened this morning completely confirmed that to you. In some ways, it hurts more than anything else knowing that as his best friend, you’ll be there when he eventually does find someone to call his own and fuck, even just the thought of that hurts like a bitch. 

Who knows if you’d even still be friends when that happens? It’s only natural that he and whoever he chooses would become closer than ever and you’ll just be that childhood friend considered to be like a sister…

“You’re moping.”

Turning around, you see Alex standing with his hands on his hips. 

“And you’re interrupting,” you grumble, slumping back into the seat.

“Nope, come on, I’m not having this,” he says, coming right behind you and holding your head to look up at him. “The wedding is in three days and you are not going to spend it like this.”

“I’ll be fine for the wedding, I promise.”

Narrowing his eyes, Alex lets go and sits down next to you. “What about tomorrow?”

Tomorrow night is Thalia’s hen night and Alex’s stag night. The cruise will arrive at Porto Cheli around dawn tomorrow and most guests will be escorted to various villas rented out by the Cirillo’s. Meanwhile, you and a few close others, including Jungkook, will be arriving at the Cirillo family home. A grand estate which given its enormous size, will accommodate the tradition of keeping the bride and groom parties separate until the wedding on Saturday afternoon.

Thalia has never been much of a party-goer so she’s choosing to keep things simple with a fine dining evening although you’re sure Sophia has planned for strippers and booze to appear at some point during the night. 

“I’ll be fine,” you repeat, plastering on a smile.

“I know you can fake it for everyone else but I actually want you to have a good time, Y/N,” he says, putting his arm around you.

Your smile turns into a genuine one. “I will, of course I will, it’s your wedding weekend and I’m so happy for you.”

Alex grins. “Thanks, I know you are.” He lets go and turns his chair to face you. “But I also know that you’re not talking to Jungkook right now, which means both of you will be moping until you make up.”

Of course he knows, you think. Well, he doesn’t know about this morning and you don’t know if you can bring yourself to tell him, it feels rather embarrassing for you. “Alias told you?”

“He told Sophia, she told Thalia and Thalia told me,” Alex shrugs.

It’s not like you expected it to stay a secret between your friends. Whenever Jungkook and you aren’t talking, it’s usually pretty obvious to everyone around you, especially your friends. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Alex offers.

“Not really.” Talking to your parents was enough and you already know what Alex is going to say. “You probably think I should just be completely honest about how I feel, right?”

Alex shrugs again. “Yeah, although he should’ve been upfront about it first.”

Surprised, you look up at him and he continues.

“I know I've been telling you for ages that he’s whipped for you, but this kind of proves it, don’t you think?” Alex glances at you, eyes creasing in the corners as he hides a smug smirk. “There’s only one reason he reacted to Lawrence the way he did.”

It makes sense, but it also doesn’t – Jungkook purely could’ve been pushing you to be with Lawrence as a friend who just wants to see you happy. You’d hate to think it’s for the former reason, only to realise you’ve terribly misinterpreted the situation and end up stupidly admitting your feelings to Jungkook when he cares for you only as a friend. “It doesn’t really,” you say, trying harder to convince yourself than Alex. “I mean, he probably just didn’t want me to waste the opportunity.”

“Ha!” Alex scoffs. “Waste the opportunity.” He gives you a look. “Come on, Y/N, why are you fighting every reason that you have to try?”

“It’s not a reason,” you counter. “We’ve gotten into one argument and I don’t think me saying I have feelings for him will change anything–”

“So you do.”

“What?” 

You look back at Alex and see his eyes wide and he’s not even hiding his smile anymore. 

“You do like him,” he repeats.

“I, what…?” Suddenly, you realise you just said it out loud. Opening your mouth, you’re about to try to cover it up somehow but it’s too late.

“I knew it,” Alex laughs, seeming way too ecstatic considering how shit you feel. “This is gold, Y/N, this is it, I’ve always known Jungkook liked you but you liking him too, it’s perfect!”

“Shh,” you hush him suddenly, grabbing his hands as you look around in a panic. “Alex shut up, someone’s gonna hear you.”

“The whole world should know, Y/N,” he laughs happily again. Looking at you, he cups your face in his hands. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long, you need to tell him, Y/N, please!”

The thought of telling Jungkook is terrifying to you, even more so now that Alex is saying it out loud and someone could possibly hear. 

With your expression split between worry and confusion, Alex’s smile fades a little but not completely. “Y/N, this is good, what’s wrong?”

For the first time, you let yourself say the truth out loud. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

Alex sighs, his smile softening. “There’s only one way you’ll find out.

Now it’s you who scoffs, pulling away from him. “Yeah, right.”

“I am right,” he insists.

Sighing, you look at him. It’s so hard to hear Alex tell you that Jungkook likes you when youc an only think otherwise after this morning… “Something happened,” you start, watching Alex carefully.

For a second he still smiles but when he sees the worry lining your face, his expression mirrors yours as his smile fades. “Okay… you wanna talk about it?”

You quickly glance around to make sure no one can hear. “You promise you won’t tell anyone,” you say, “not even Alias or Sophia or Tha–” you cut yourself off. Asking Alex not to tell his soon to be wife is like asking him to cut off his hand, you already know that since he couldn’t even keep Sophia’s birthday present to her secret. “Fine, only Thalia.”

“Appreciate it,” Alex nods.

“Mhm, well…” You tell him briefly what happened this morning, sparing him the details but telling him every word of what was spoken after and he listens carefully, not interrupting you once. 

You chose to tell Alex because he’s the one who has always been so sure of Jungkook’s feelings for you, not Alias, nor Sophia, or even Thalia. Sure, the others have hinted at it but only Alex has ever paid attention to everything between Jungkook and you so if anyone knows the whole story and can give you the best advice, it’s him. So, it feels a little alarming to you when once you’re done, he still doesn’t say anything for a moment.

Then, he purses his lips, grimacing before he finally speaks. “Honestly, that’s a bit confusing. If there ever was a way to confess, this was the perfect window to do it.”

For what feels like the umpteenth time today, your heart sinks. “That’s what I thought.”

“But,” Alex says very surely, taking your hand, “it doesn’t change every single other thing he’s ever done to show he likes you, and let’s be real, he’s probably just worried that you won’t feel the same.”

It’s what you want to hear but it’s still so hard to accept it because what if it’s not true and you make a fool of yourself in front of Jungkook.

“I wish that were true,” you mumble. “But I don’t think I can keep holding onto hope when it hurts like this.”

Alex squeezes your hand. “Y/N, we know Jungkook, he doesn’t exactly play with anyone’s feelings and I absolutely don’t think he would start something physical with you unless he was feeling it emotionally too.”

“I know, but what if it’s just because he was horny.” You’re still mumbling, cheeks going warm as you say it. 

“Look, I think there’s a lot of guys who would sleep with their best friends if they had the chance,” Alex says, “but Jungkook isn’t one of them, he never has been.”

Thinking about it, you realise he’s right. Jungkook wouldn’t. There’s been way more chances in the past for him to have done things with you and you’re pretty sure there’s even been times where you drunkenly made a few moves on him but he never did anything himself.

“Still, I don’t know.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N,” Alex says encouragingly, “how long have I been telling you he likes you? I haven’t been saying it for no reason.”

“But you have no concrete proof either.”

“Just take a chance, be brave and then you’ll see I was right,” Alex says, raising a brow.

Glancing at him, you chuckle. “This is coming from the guy who had to get drunk to say I love you to the love of his life for the first time.”

Alex smiles and leans back in his seat as he gestures around him. “It worked didn’t it? Look at me now.”

Well, he got you there. Plus, you can’t deny the big part of you that believes it. Jungkook and your friendship does feel more than friends sometimes and you know it’s not all in your head. This morning seemed to confirm that too.

Narrowing your eyes at Alex, you turn away to face the horizon. “Don’t say anything to anyone, but I’ll think about it.”

“Yes,” Alex laughs, hugging you. “I’ll keep my mouth shut,” he says, sounding so excited. “You won’t regret this.”

Laughing, you pull him into your side. “You could start now, half the deck can hear you.”

“Sorry,” he grins, squeezing you. 

Maybe he’s right, maybe you won’t regret it. 

Jungkook comes to a stop at the end of the balcony to watch the sun set behind the sea. It’s been a long day with Alex asking his groomsmen to assist him in all things wedding related and then Alias needed help sorting out the entertainment for tomorrow.

Jungkook hasn’t seen you since lunch. He went back to the cabin while you had lunch with your parents since he didn’t want to make it awkward for you when you eventually came up to finish packing and since then he hasn’t seen you as you’ve been with the girls all day. 

Truthfully, after this morning, he doesn’t think he can bear to see you just yet. He feels like a coward. Not only has he probably ruined his friendship with you, but he also can’t help but feel like he’s hurt you. You looked so timid as you stood across the cabin from him and a part of him felt like you wanted him to say something other than what he said. If only he was 100% sure it’s what you wanted, Jungkoook would shout it for the whole world to hear, but what if it’s not and he really does ruin everything between you. Besides, you called it a mistake. That’s all Jungkook can remind himself of as it takes everything in him not to tell you he wishes that there was something more between you.

“Why the long face, Kookie?”

The voice comes from behind him but Jungkook doesn’t have to be looking to know who it is. 

Valentina appears beside him and leans on the balcony too. She doesn’t even look at him but just watches the horizon ahead as Jungkook was. “Trouble in paradise, huh?”

Jungkook frowns. Of course that’s the first thing she would think of. “Not really,” he mutters. 

As much as he wishes it was paradise between you and him, it wasn’t, none of it was real

and what he finds worse is that he couldn’t even keep up a fake relationship with you – he completely blew it.

“So what then? They didn’t have your favourite bagel for breakfast this morning?” She laughs lightly. 

However, Jungkook internally scowls. It’s annoying that she actually knows him rather well despite the finer details of their ‘relationship’. “No offence, Val, but I really just wanna be alone right now.” 

There’s harsher things he could’ve said, particularly naming her as the least desirable companion right now, but even without that, Valentina seems to get the message from his tone alone. 

The humour in her expression disappears leaving only a small poignant smile. 

Not expecting such a quick retreat from her, Jungkook immediately regrets his harsh tone but at the same time, he really is not in the mood for Valentina and her usual antics today. 

She doesn’t move an inch though. With a small sigh she turns and faces the horizon just as Jungkook was. 

Jungkook does the same; although he’d rather be left alone, he’s definitely not about to make it known again, especially since he now feels a bit bad.

“It’s always been her, hasn’t it?”

For a moment, Jungkook is completely thrown. Multiple thoughts run through his head – What? Valentina knows? How long has she known? Was it from when he was with her? Was he really always in love with you even while he was seeing other people? That must make him a complete dick, right? Has he always made it so painfully obvious that he’s in love with you?

His hesitation seems to give Valentina the answer she was looking for.

She glances at him and smiles before looking away again. “I’m not surprised really, I knew it from when I first met you, I guess it’s my fault for putting us both through everything we went through, it was damned from the start.”

“That’s not your fault,” Jungkook says, the guilt festering.

Valentina just shrugs. “It’s over now, no reason to care.” She says it meaninglessly but Jungkook can only hope she means it.

“So why the long face then?” she repeats, looking at him. “She’s yours, go be with her.”

“It’s not that simple.” 

Valentina laughs, bumping her shoulder into him. “Yeah, you’re right. Pretending to date someone you’re secretly in love with is never simple.”

For the second time, Jungkook looks at her stunned. “How did you…?”

She shrugs, still sporting an amused smile. “I know you think I’m stupid, Jungkook, just a head in the clouds rich bitch like everyone else does, but I’ve gotten this far, haven’t I?”

“That’s not true,” Jungkook corrects her immediately. Sure, Valentina has her unbearable moments and more often than not, she plays dumb and innocent, but Jungkook knows that she’s more than that. “I wouldn’t have dated you if I thought that.”

“Don’t worry, Kookie, you don’t have to try to make me feel better, I really couldn’t care less about it. Now, back to the main issue here, you need to grow a pair and tell Y/N how you feel about her,” she says bluntly.

She’s not wrong, Jungkook thinks. “It’s just not that simple,” he sighs, turning away from her. It feels odd to be having this conversation with Valentina and despite her honesty just now, he doesn’t really feel like opening up to her.

“What’s complicated about it? You like her and she likes you.”

“We don’t know that.”

“You honestly think she doesn’t like you?” she asks, sounding surprised.

Hesitating, Jungkook eventually shrugs. “Sometimes I think so…” It’s true, sometimes Jungkook really feels so sure that you feel the same way, but then something always happens that changes things. He thinks of Lawrence – you liked him for so long and although Jungkook doesn’t know the extent of it, you always had this schoolgirl crush on him, even whilst you were with Alex. “But I don’t think she does.”

Valentina looks at Jungkook like he’s stupid and he’s vaguely reminded of why they never worked out. “Well, you can keep thinking that but it’s kind of obvious she does.”

Saying nothing, Jungkook looks out at the horizon again, leaning his forearms into the balcony. The sun is almost fully set marking the last day of the cruise. They’ll soon be arriving at Porto Cheli and it’ll be even harder to spend time with you once the bride and groom parties are separated. He wants to talk to you and to make things okay between you again, but he knows that he’s upset you and although it’s confusing him, he wants to give you space. 

Valentina sighs, nudging him. “Just talk to her, you don’t want to regret it later on,” she says, straightening up as her usual flamboyance returns. “You know if it doesn’t work out, I’ll always be here for you Kookie pie,” she almost coos, making Jungkook laugh and cringe at the same time. As ditzy as she may act sometimes, Valentina is more smart than Jungkook ever gave her credit for.

She grins, winking at him before she waltzes off like the conversation never happened.

The cabin is dark when you finally return to your room. It’s well past midnight and you expect Jungkook to be here but as your eyes quickly adjust, you can see the room is empty. As you walk in further, you see his suitcase standing packed and ready in the corner of the room. 

Deflating, you trudge over to your own open suitcase on one side of the room. You’re only half packed and you’d hoped Jungkook would still have his to do too so you’d have a chance to maybe talk to him, but it seems he’s already done it while you were busy with the girls. You wonder if he avoided you on purpose.

Pushing this thought quickly out of your head, you press shuffle on your ‘summer ‘23’ playlist in an attempt to cheer yourself up while you finish packing. It doesn’t really work but you at least keep your mind free from running rampant, instead singing along to some of your favourite tunes with no regards for your cabin neighbours, one of whom is Valentina and you’re more than certain she’s not in her cabin because you last saw her walking out of the premium lounge with a tall, handsome stranger whose face you couldn’t see and they went into an elevator going to the cabins on the other side of the ship, barely waiting to let the door close before locking lips.

Must be nice, you think sourly before shaking your head. Not cute, Y/N, you scold yourself. Although you don’t blame yourself for having negative thoughts since you are on the short end of an unrequited love story with your best friend, you’d still rather not be bitter.

Almost three hours later, you’ve packed everything, showered and are already dressed ready for the arrival at Porto Cheli soon. You’ve chosen a simple outfit, a sky blue linen co-ord with jewellery to match. Slipping into the comfiest sandals you own, you move your suitcase next to the door and grab your phone before heading out of the room. It’s almost 5am so there’s around an hour left until the ship docks at the port, marking the end of the cruise and the start of the busy wedding weekend. Most of you took a nap during the day, so deciding you wouldn’t sleep tonight, they all agreed to meet one last time on the cruise.

Despite everything that’s happened with Jungkook and the dampener it’s put on your mood, you’re still excited to celebrate Alex’s wedding. Not only is he dear to you, but you’re celebrating his marriage with so many of the people you love the most, making this whole trip special. It would be perfect if you could end it by fixing what’s happened with Jungkook but you feel like you’ve already made yourself so vulnerable to him and nothing came out of it.

It’s quiet and dark in the hallways as you make your way out to the pool on the top deck. It reminds you of the nights you were sneaking out with Jungkook to meet the other guys for whatever stupid stuff you were getting up to. It makes you miss him now and you subconsciously walk a little faster in anticipation of seeing him now as you all gather for the last time.

You can hear your friends before you see them and you smile at the sound of Alias’ laughter as you climb the steps to the deck. You’re certain any patrolling staff would have heard and they’re either being nice enough to let you all off, or Alias tipped them enough to keep quiet. 

There’s a bunch of familiar faces hanging around all together, all friends of either Alex, Thalia, Sophia or Alias. You smile at a few as you make your way over to Sophia, Thalia and a few others. 

The girls greet you warmly as you approach and Sophia hands you a drink as soon as you arrive. You take it and immediately take a sip. You weren’t planning on having anything to drink but one won’t hurt. There’s an excited buzz in the air, the same you felt on the first day of cruise but this feels special. The sun is rising on the horizon and you’re here with almost all of your best friends. Almost all of your best friends. Jungkook still isn’t here but you try not to focus on it and just have a good time with your friends. 

It works, so much so that you’re mid laughter when a familiar face joins the deck and makes their way over to you, but you don’t quite realise until he pats your shoulder as the conversation progresses. 

Turning around, your smile falters but doesn’t disappear. “Oh, hey.”

“Hey.” Lawrence looks nervous, an emotion you’re not used to seeing on him.

You also weren’t actually expecting to see him but you’re glad he’s here. Throughout everything, he’s still a friend and you’d hate to lose that relationship with him.

“How are you?” You ask, smile widening. You haven’t seen him since that night and you’d hate to think he’s been avoiding you when it’s the last thing you’d want.

“Good, thanks,” he nods. He seems to suddenly relax at your warm response. He glances at the group behind you and you turn too. No one is paying either of you any attention but Lawrence still asks for privacy. “Do you think we could talk?” he asks tentatively. “I’ll make it quick, I promise.”

“Of course,” you nod, following him as he turns right away and walks to the furthest side of the deck where it’s quietest. 

You stop when he does, taking a seat on the bench beside him. It’s easy to see he’s nervous as he glances around quickly before looking down at the drink in his hand. You want to say something to make him feel better but you don’t want to interrupt whatever it is he wants to say.

“How have you, uh, how have you been?” He looks up, holding eye contact for barely a second before looking away again.

“Good,” you answer. It’s not the truth but he doesn’t need to know that.

He nods and takes a sip of his drink. You do the same and you’ve just swallowed when he speaks again.

“I‘m sorry for pulling you away from your friends, I just wanted to talk to you tonight before all the wedding stuff starts and I didn’t know if I’d get a chance.”

“That’s okay, I don’t mind.” You lean in a little so he looks at you and smile. “You’re my friend too though,” you say, feeling the need to remind him.

His smile mirrors yours and he nods. “I kinda messed it up though…”

You know this is of course what he wanted to talk to you about and although you don’t think it needs to change anything between you, you know yourself how easily feelings can change a friendship. Not only that, but he deserves an explanation from you too since you did have feelings for him for a good chunk of your teen years and later, plus your conversation ended before it was supposed to that night when Alias and Jungkook appeared.

“Not really,” you shrug. “I think it’s just how we deal with it now, no?” 

“Yeah, if you’re okay with that,” he agrees. “I’d like to.”

“Of course I am. And I’m sorry too by the way.” 

Lawrence looks confused and you don’t wait for him to say anything before continuing.

“I think it must have been confusing for you to be on the receiving end of my feelings for you while we were in college and maybe I even subconsciously made it seem like it after too.”

“Ah,” Lawrence purses his lips. “Well I didn’t really know.”

“I know, you said that before but I still feel like I need to say it. There may have been a few times I was coming off as more than friendly and that was wrong of me.”

Lawrence’s silence serves as an answer.

“So yeah, I’m sorry too. I hope we can go back to how things were,” you say hesitantly.

“It might be hard,” Lawrence responds honestly. 

“I know…” your voice feels small. You know all too well how feelings can change a friendship. “But we’ll try?” You look at him and smile hopefully.

He nods. “Of course.” 

You’re content with that. Of course you don’t know the extent of his feelings for you so you hope it won’t be hard for him to move on – after all, the two of you mostly ever met up at family functions and dinners of the same sort. It’s rare for Lawrence to have joined any of the outings with your friends. It was never his fault since his parents have always pushed for him to do more for their company, especially since he was an only child. It’s something that’s always made you more grateful for your own parents and their completely laid back and caring approach to your career, even all throughout school. The only thing they ever pushed for was your grades but they kept up that same effort in all areas of your life, even your extracurriculars. Sure, sometimes when you were growing up you felt the pressure but you always felt supported by them no matter what the final result was.

Lawrence has experienced the opposite of you to say it simply, and you’re sure that given time, he’ll find the right person for him as he prioritises himself.

“Thanks for talking to me though,” you say, “I’m glad you did.”

“Me too,” Lawrence says, taking another sip. “At least now I don’t have to avoid you all weekend long.”

You laugh, agreeing with him and soon enough, the conversation continues although it doesn’t last longer than ten minutes with Lawrence excusing himself.

You stay seated at the bench as he leaves. You didn’t realise you were concerned about your relationship with Lawrence but the relief and content you’re feeling now tells you as much. You’re glad you’ve cleared everything up with him, now if only you could get yourself to do the same with Jungkook.

Glancing around, you realise that he still hasn’t appeared. He definitely would have known about it so you wonder why he hasn’t turned up. Finishing your drink, you get up and head over to where Alias is sitting with his friends Kelce and Dillon.

“Hey, Y/N,” they all say in unison when you come and sit beside them at the pool. They’re definitely a little tipsy and you don’t need to see the cans beside them to know that. Their goofy smiles say it all.

“Hey guys,” you chuckle, patting Kelce’s shoulder. “Um, have you guys seen Jungkook anywhere?” 

Alias immediately frowns but it’s Dillon who answers. “We were with him a while ago at the lounge.” He looks at the other guys. “When was that? A couple of hours ago?”

Kelce looks at his phone. “Yeah, it was around one.”

You went past the lounge at the same time, that’s when you saw Valentina leaving with that guy… for a split second, your mind goes there – could it have been him? – No. Absolutely no. The idea is absurd. You feel stupid for even thinking that.

“You haven’t seen him since then, Y/N?” Alias asks.

“No.” You ignore the seed of concern that settles in your stomach. You’re certain he’s not with Valentina, but where is he? 

“We were gonna leave the lounge together but he stayed for another drink,” Alias tells you, seeming to share the same concern as you. “He seemed like he wanted to be alone so we left him.”

“Oh.” It’s not like Jungkook to drink alone – if he does, he’s usually upset about something. “Well, thanks for telling me,” you mutter, getting up and leaving the group.

Alias, however, gets up with you. “Hey,” he says, taking your arm. “You want me to find him?” He looks you over and you’re sure the concern in his expression isn’t solely for Jungkook.

“Um…” you hesitate. You don’t want to seem like a clingy best friend, especially not after what happened between you, but if Jungkook is drinking alone then he’s not feeling okay and you would normally be there for him. This time you feel like you can’t be, but Alias can. However, you don’t want to ask Alias to spend his night away from his friends and family.

Looking at him, you smile. “No, it’s okay. I’m sure he’s around somewhere.”

Alias doesn’t seem convinced. “But then he would be here.”

He’s right. “Or maybe he was tired and went back to the cabin?”

“You just said you haven’t seen him since we did.”

Chewing on the inside of your lip, you shake your head. “I haven’t.”

Sighing, Alias pulls out his phone. “I’ll try calling him but if he doesn’t get back to me in ten minutes we’ll go look for him.”

“Okay,” you nod. “Let me know if he replies,” you say, thanking him too before going back to some of the girls. 

You’re not listening much to their conversation although you try to get involved to take your mind off of Jungkook. 

It isn’t until you receive a text from Alias with a screenshot that your nerves are put to rest. 

[3:01] Me: hey man where r u?

[3:13] JK: hey sorry bro, I knocked out on the balcony.

[3:13] Me: oh okay, it’s all good just wanted to know where u were. Join us now? We’re at the top pool deck. 

[3.15] JK: I’m just gonna check all my luggage is packed first. Will join later.

[3:15] Me: cool see u. 

So he’s fine, he just fell asleep. You still want to see him but you know that’s not going to happen unless you go down to the cabin room and you don’t want to seem clingy so you don’t. Instead, you turn your attention back to the conversation the girls are having and feel the excitement for the weekend to come.

Jungkook doesn’t get drunk often and he had no plans of doing so the last night of the cruise either, and he most definitely did not expect to get drunk with your father of all people…

“You coming Jungkook?”

Looking up from his drink, Jungkook shook his head. “Nah, I’m just gonna hang here for a bit,” he said with a smile so as not to raise suspicions from the already watchful eye of Alias. 

Still, Alias frowned. “You sure?” 

“Yeah, I still got a headache.”

“Alright, well text me if you need anything,” Alias said as he, Kelce and Dillon got up. 

“Get well soon,” Kelce said as they took their leave.

“Join us later, yeah?” Dillon added.  

“Yeah,” Jungkook nodded. “I’ll catch you guys later.”

He watched as they walked out, trying to find the same excitement in him for the wedding as they’re feeling but his head was full of other thoughts. 

Sighing, he looked down at this drink again. It’s true that he had a headache. He even chose not to have anything alcoholic, opting for a mocktail from the extensive drinks menu available at the lounge. He’s not sure where it came from but he thought it’s most likely just because he couldn’t stop his brain from thinking and the lack of sleep didn’t help either. 

Truthfully, he knew he was just moping. He knew what he had to do and he knew it before his conversation with Valentina. Although, the fact that she said it too just made Jungkook more aware of the truth. 

The line between friendship and something more had always been blurry for Jungkook and the past few days only made him more sure of it — he’s in love with you and he always has been for as long as he can remember. 

Every time the thought crossed Jungkook’s mind, it triggered the questions that come with it. How do I tell her? Does she feel the same way? She’ll hate me. What if she hates me? I shouldn’t do that to her? What’s worse, is that now  it had come to the point that being with you was almost painful – not knowing if he could have more with you when all he had to do was confront his feelings, swallow his pride and be honest with you. Even if you didn’t feel the same, it was the point at which he realised he would rather you hate him for admitting his feelings and ruining your friendship, than stay quiet and never know if he can have what he’s always wanted with you.

That said, it still felt so hard to do – he had a lot to lose.

Head lowered, Jungkook tried to figure out the best way to do this when he heard a familiar laugh somewhere behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Valentina walking with a tall, handsome man beside her. Jungkook had seen him around a few times but he wasn’t sure if he was a part of the wedding party. Whoever he was, he sure knew how to make Valentina laugh; she was laughing as he put his arm around her and she raised her hand to hold his fingers loosely when she looked towards the bar. Making eye contact with Jungkook, she stopped and tilted her head.

Jungkook just smiled awkwardly and turned back around. He didn’t want to seem like he was staring even though that was what he was doing but for no bad reason – he liked to see Valentina happy. Despite her shortcomings, deep down she always had good intentions for the most part and making her happy was something Jungkook couldn’t do. However, he would’ve been lying if he said seeing her like that didn’t hurt – not because he was jealous of her, but because everyone around him seemed to be having such good luck in their love lives (whether there’s feelings attached or not) and here he was, unable to find the words to tell his best friend he loves her. It sucked.

“And what are you doing here, may I ask?”

Hearing Valentina’s voice so close to him all of a sudden startled Jungkook. He looked up, eyes wide. She stood with one hand on the bar and the other on her hip. 

“Uh, just getting a drink.”

Valentina rolled her eyes. “I spoke to you less than 12 hours ago, Jungkook, do you not remember anything?”

“I do,” he replied, glancing across at her date who seemed super unbothered as he waited for her a short distance away.

“Then why are you here?”

“I just needed to think some things over.”

“Like what?”

“Just things,” Jungkook said, feeling somewhat intimidated by how serious she was right now.

“You know you’re just wasting time,” she said matter-of-factly.

“She’s with everyone else right now, I don’t want to ruin her evening,” Jungkook says defensively.

“I really don’t think anything you say or do could ruin her evening.”

“We don’t know that.”

“Well, yeah but you’re not doing anything about it so how is that any better?”

She wasn’t wrong but Jungkook was convinced he needed to give you time. “I’m just not ready yet,” he sighed.

Valentina sighed too. “Fine,” she shrugged and turned back towards her date. “But you don’t need to think, Jungkook, you just need to do what needs to be done,” she added with a wave of her hand.

He knew she was right but why did it feel so hard?! 

Getting the attention of the bartender, he ordered a much needed drink, downing it all almost as soon as it came before ordering a second. At least he wasn’t a light weight. He knew this wouldn’t help his headache but it wasn’t like he was helping himself at all by sitting here and thinking endlessly. Endless thoughts of what could go right and wrong trailed through his mind, leaving him conflicted as he accepted that he wouldn’t disturb your night with this.

Halfway through his drink, someone came and took a seat at the stool beside him despite there  being space elsewhere. Looking across, he was more than surprised to see the last person he would’ve expected to see here.

Lawrence only acknowledged Jungkook with a nod before ordering his own drink. 

A multitude of emotions went through Jungkook at this particular moment starting with wanting to punch Lawrence in his perfect face, to feeling sorry for himself for being forced into this situation, then feeling sorry for Lawrence because he knew that he got the short end of the stick – at least Jungkook still has a strong friendship with you —  and oddly, gratefulness because Jungkook knows what he needs to do now and without Lawrence, he wouldn’t have been forced into it and who knows how long he would’ve gone without telling you the truth (though he had yet to do it). 

Saying nothing himself, Jungkook took another sip of his drink.

Lawrence, however, started a conversation. “You not joining the others?”

“Nah,” Jungkook answered quietly. He gave no reason but he didn’t need to. 

Lawrence nodded in understanding but said nothing else. His drink arrived and he stayed seated, sipping quietly beside Jungkook. 

Jungkook really didn’t care for conversation. He came to the bar for some peace and quiet so initiating a conversation is the last thing he wanted to do.

With all that said, Jungkook’s curiosity got the better of him. 

“What about you?” He asked without even turning his head. “You’re not gonna head up there?” 

Lawrence shook his head. “I’ll head up a bit later”

Jungkook nodded, wondering if Lawrence would see you while he was there. He could ask him but that would open the doors to another conversation which he didn’t really want to have.  

Lawrence didn’t owe him any apology since you’re not really his girlfriend. He did seem to cross a line considering he didn’t know that at the time, but there was no reason for him to say it now. 

Just when Jungkook took another sip of his drink, Lawrence put his glass down and looked toward Jungkook, sincerely. 

“Hey, man, I’m really sorry for what I did.”

Although he harboured some slight resentment towards Lawrence for what happened, it immediately seemed to melt away in that moment. Their friendship extended well beyond the past few days and Jungkook has never been the type to hold a grudge, especially not when the other person is genuine. 

“It’s cool,” he responded. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I did.”

Jungkook only had to glance at Lawrence to see he looked guilty and felt bad about it. “I was selfish and I wanted to tell Y/N how I felt. I guess there was a part of me that wished she wasn’t with you and that was completely fucked up.” 

“She’s not with me though.” 

It came out slightly harsher than intended, carrying the weight of Jungkook’s own feelings. Lawrence went quiet and Jungkook continued, resigned.

“Honestly I’d say you’ve got a pretty good shot with her, I’d go for it if I were you.”

“Why don’t you?” Lawnrence asked simply, without any curiosity or even peaked interest. His voice held more of a genuine want to help. 

“What?”

“Why don’t you just go for it?”

Jungkook shook his head. “We’re just friends.”

“I don’t think it’s that simple.”

“No offence Lawrence, but how would you know?”… Now that did come out slightly harsher than intended. “The last time you even saw us was probably at Sophia’s graduation and even then you were gonna way before the night ended.”

Completely understanding, Lawrence backed up. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” Jungkook cooled off. “I’m sorry too.  That came out wrong.”

“It’s alright.” Lawrence sat back in his chair, swirled his drink before taking three long sips to empty the glass. 

“It doesn’t change anything though,” he said, getting up from his stool. “There’s a point at which you can pass friendship and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with treading beyond that line.” He put a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “Just do it carefully.”

Jungkook stared at Lawrence but Lawrence didn’t linger. 

“Anyway, like I said, I’m sorry for everything.”

Jungkook watched as he walked away, the words swimming in his befuddled mind.

Lawrence was right. There was a line and Jungkook knew he was straddling that fine line and perhaps now it was too late to step back. Instead, he should be brave and put everything out on that line. It was easy enough to think with liquid courage flowing through him, that and the fact that you weren’t here right now. But maybe he should have taken advantage of the fact that he was feeling more confident now, he should find you, he found himself thinking. He should tell you he’s in love with you and then whatever happens next will happen. He can’t control that and right now there’s already a strain on the relationship that can only be fixed by the truth. 

He should do it, he thought. The thought built up more and more, ushering Jungkook as he pushed himself off the bar stool—

“Where you going, son? I just got here.”

A firm band on Jungkook’s shoulder pushed him back down, contrasting the loving tone with which he was spoken to. 

Your dad took the seat which was previously occupied by Lawrence and Jungkook could only stare for a moment as he called the bartender and ordered two drinks. If it was anyone else, Jungkook would’ve apologised and excused himself to carry out his plan of finding you, but with your dad it was simply not the case. 

“You like a gin and tonic right?” He asked, after ordering. 

Jungkook wasn’t particularly fond of it but he nodded. “Yeah, thanks. “

“How come you’re not with the others?”

Jungkook shrugged, hoping that your dad wouldn’t be able to tell he’d already had a couple to drink. “I just wasn’t feeling it.”

“And Y/N?”

Despite being the only thing on his mind for a while, the mention of you still threw him. “Huh?”

“Is she with the others?” Your dad asked coolly, reaching for some peanuts from the bowl in front of them.

“Yeah, I think so,” Jungkook answered as nonchalantly as he could. 

The bartender arrived with their drinks and your dad took his and sipped slowly in silence. 

Jungkoon was not uncomfortable around your dad, not in the slightest. In fact, he seemed to have grown rather close to him over the years and appreciated the almost father-son bond they shared. Having spent much time with your family, there wasn’t much he had yet to experience when it came to your dad, but this was something different. He’d never been sat at a bar, just the two of them making small talk over drinks. 

Jungkook knew your dad well enough to know that that wasn’t the purpose of this. Your dad is just breaking the ice to another conversation… but what? Surely it had to be about you and that was the only reason Jungkook found his palms unusually sweaty.

After what must’ve been at least twenty more minutes of small talk about the weather and football, Jungkook had emptied his second glass. 

Your dad laughed. “I forgot you can take your liquor, huh?” 

Before Jungkook could even respond, another drink had been ordered for him and Jungkook willed himself to drink this one slower, wary that he was already more than a few drinks in now though he was grateful that your dad was good at keeping up 

“So, what’s the real reason you’re not with the others?” Your dad asked, his own drink replaced with another as well. 

Jungkook shrugged and answered honestly. “Just not in the mood to socialise. I think I’d be a bit of a Debby downer so I’d rather sit this one out.”

“That’s selfless of you.”

“Not really, kind of selfish actually.”

Your dad nodded. “A bit of both then.”

Much to Jungkook’s surprise, your dad emptied his glass faster than Jungkook had and didn’t hesitate to order another. 

“Anything else for you?” he asked Jungkook. 

“Uh, sure.” Jungkook wasn’t sure why he said yes but he did, ordering a whiskey instead.

Your dad pulled his phone out and sighed, muttering an apology about a work issue and Jungkook nodded, not minding in the slightest. But the issue must have been resolved quickly because he put the phone away only moments later. 

“It almost feels wrong to be drinking with you,” your dad said. 

“Why?” Jungkook asked, taking the smallest sip from his glass. “Because I’m younger than you?”

“Partly. I’ve known you since you were so young, it’s hard to believe how much you’ve grown up.” Your dad smiled. “Y/N too.”

Jungkook smiled. “It has been a long time.” He thought back to the first day he first met your dad and you. He was a shy kid, hiding behind his mom and at the time, you were pretty shy at the time too. It was your mom who encouraged you to ask Jungkook if he wanted to read a book with you. He looked at his own mom for reassurance before shyly agreeing and following you to the reading corner in your playroom.  By the end of the night your affinity for him had grown and that was the simple start to your long friendship with more ups and downs than Jungkook could count.

“But at the same time it feels like nothing.”

Your dad raised his glass. “Exactly,” he said, with an agreeing nod of his head. “A lifetime and nothing, both at once. I sometimes wish I could go back.”

“To when we were young?”

“Further back if I could,” he smiled. “Maybe a few years before Y/N was born. Just before I got married.”

“Why then? Jungkook asked, curious. He’d known your dad for so many years and they’d had plenty of conversations about serious stuff and more light hearted stuff, but this was different. He’d not spoken much about his relationship witn your mother, especially not when partially intoxicated. And while Jungkook had seen plenty of the love they shared, he’d not heard much about it except from you.

“When I first met Y/N’s mother—gosh,” he sighed contentedly as though reliving the moment. “She was like no one else I’d ever met. She still is,” he added with a gentle chuckle. “There’s no one else I’d rather spend my days with. I’d give everything I have to be with her. Every minute of every hour, always.”

The smile on your dads face grew, as did Jungkook’s. 

“We were young when we got married, you know?”

Jungkook nodded. “I know. 24 right?”

He nodded, the corners of his lips turning up further into a proud smile. “I didn’t want to waste another day without the promise of having her by my side. My friends said I was mad, too young.”

Jungkook shakes his head, knowing how it felt to not want to be apart from someone he loved so dearly. “I don’t think you were mad at all. You were in love.” 

Your dad turned, now masking the smile that was on his face as he looked at Jungkook with a mischievous glint in his eye that Jungkook hadn’t seen before. “You know it when you feel it. There’s no mistaking it.”

Jungkook knew that now. He felt it more than ever with you now. But more pressingly, Jungkook realised – your dad knew. 

If it weren’t for the drinks he’d had, Jungkook might have felt embarrassed.

In quiet admittance, Jungkook sighed. “I know.”

Your dad smiled. “You shouldn’t let this time get away from you, Jungkook. You’re young with a life to live. Do it with love and without regrets. 

Jungkook nodded, feeling a tumultuous swirl of emotions inside. “I will,” he said, feeling more certain now than he had before, but he knew his head wasn’t in the right place to do this. First he ought to sober up… 

There was a gentle pat on his back from your dad. “Good.” He flagged the bartender down for what felt like too many times to Jungkook. “But first another drink with me.”

“Sure.” Jungkook felt his words slur slightly. Then the cogs in his brain which were turning a little slower raised a question in his mind. his eyes narrowed and he turned to your dad. “Wait, is this a test?”

Your dad laughed. “I’ve always liked you Jungkook.”

“Me too.” Jungkook smiled though he still looked wary. 

“Good.” Your dad returned the smile with even more fondness. “And no, it’s not a test. Let’s drink.”

So Jungkook stayed.

note. how are you finding it? :) let me know xoxoxo link for part 3 here

more song recs: lose control — meduza & becky hill & goodboys tenerife sea — ed sheeran i'm a mess — ed sheeran so good (stripped) — halsey crazy what love can do — david guetta & becky hill & ella henderson

[drewsbraziliangf]

there'll be happiness after you | Drew Starkey x black!reader

summary: what can you do when you're back in the same place where you had your heart broken for the last time? Is there any way to move past all the hurt and longing?

a/n: ok so I'm sorry for the long wait for this... This will be the last part of this story :'( I want to thank you guys for the love shown in this because this is my first time writing for anything other than House of the Dragon in a loooong time. I hugely suggest listening to "No Goodbyes" by Dua Lipa, "Funeral" by Zara Larsson or "happiness" by Taylor Swift during this read. I hope y'all enjoy it!

dividers: @/saradika

warnings: some cuss words, angst.

The morning after a was never my favorite. Always waking up with a pounding headache and lips as dry as a desert is not the best way to start a day. But there was something about today that made it all worse, for some reason, my brain decided to remember most of the events of the previous night─ touches, kisses, promises, apologies─ everything.

A part of me prayed that I'd forget about it and be able to sneak out without him noticing, but seemed like he was expecting that already and gotten up before I was even awake. The only thing that made it clear that he was indeed at home, was the soft sounds coming from the kitchen.

Okay... I know this apartment like the back of my mind, so since the kitchen door wasn't a direct line for the main door, maybe if I'm quiet enough I'd be able to leave without him noticing, right?

Dwelling on it would only make it worse, so I got up, picked up my clothes from the day before, and quickly got dressed again, this time feeling much more exposed than I did last night. I looked around for my phone, but it wasn't anywhere to be seen. Cursing myself, I remembered that I left it in the living room. Great, a detour.

Thankfully I didn't have to worry too much about how my hair looked as the braids did half the work in keeping it presentable. With a sigh, I walked out of the room with my heels in hand and kept quietly praying to the gods above to grant me this one wish. I just needed my phone and then I'm able to leave.

As I reached the main hall, I could see the bathroom door closed and the lights on. Great, this would be even easier. I quickly walked towards the living room looking for my phone, thankfully it was exactly where I remembered leaving it. It took me no time to grab the device and turn toward the door, only to have one of the biggest jump scares of my life.

"HOLY SHIT!" My left hand instinctively went to my chest as my heart rate increased.

Yeah, there goes my prayers. Drew was leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing a black tank top and a pair of grey sweatpants. His hair was messy and there was still a small air of sleepiness around him. He cleared his throat as he stared at me.

"Yeah, I knew you'd try to do that," he said with a shrug.

"Well, this is exactly what I was trying to avoid," I snap back after I'm calmer.

I could feel my hands getting sweaty and the weight of his gaze upon me was making me feel so uncomfortable. Like there was this white elephant in the room getting bigger by the second.

"Uhm, I kinda have to go-"

"Come on, let's talk over breakfast."

Without giving me a chance to answer he walked back towards the kitchen and I had no choice but to follow him. With a bit of reluctance, I dragged my bare feet after him. The cold tiles on the floor were not even bothering me as they were five minutes ago.

The worst kind of deja vu bathed me as I stood by the counter. The last time I was here was the worst day of my life, so I wasn't feeling great watching him move so effortlessly.

He filled two glasses with black coffee and the toaster with white bread before picking up some jam and cottage cream cheese.

I sat on one of the benches and quietly accepted the plate he handed me once it was all done, he then proceeded to sit by my side and we began to eat in silence, more like me watching him eat as I sipped my coffee.

"So you were just going to sneak out?" He asked casually after a few minutes as he coated his toast with jam.

"What did you expect me to do? I shouldn't even come here in the first place," I bite back and he places his mug down.

"Well, I thought you would at least grant me the chance to talk. We have a lot to talk about."

"No, we don't. We fucked and that's it. It shouldn't have happened and it won't happen again. It can't happen again." I confess, with the instinct of avoiding to meet his eyes.

"What do you mean? We have to talk this through and fix what happened. I know that I fucked up but you just left. As if it all meant nothing to you. We were getting married, for fucks sake." He says, throwing his hands in the air in annoyance.

At that, I stand up and begin walking back toward the living room. I had to leave. This could escalate and both of us leave even more hurt than before.

"I'm not doing this again. I didn't just leave. You pushed me away. You didn't give me a reason to stay. That's what happened."

"I love you! How can you say that?"

"Yeah, you might. But do you like me?" The words leave my mouth before a second to think them over.

He watches me for a second before running a hand over his face. All the traces of sleep were gone from his features now.

"Because I did. And I was so in love with you too," I continue, as my eyes begin to sting. "I was so ready to have the rest of my life by your side. So, how could you do that to me? When did I stop being enough?"

The questions kept flowing out and I couldn't filter my feelings or my words. I just wanted this to end once and for all. My brain couldn't stop reminiscing on last night's events. His touches, his kisses, him.

But being sober now and knowing it all was killing me. How could I be such a fool? After I tried so hard to erase him from my mind...

"No, baby, please listen to me, okay? Just let me talk," he pleaded taking a step closer.

"No, Drew. There is nothing to talk about. I shouldn't have come here and this shouldn't even be happening."

My voice is slightly pitchier than I'd like but I couldn't help it.

"Do you have any idea of how hard it was for me?" I ask looking at his glossy eyes. "I don't get to travel all around the world and the country so I can simply put what happened aside. I had to deal with pitying looks for weeks. I had to walk around the city remembering a life we planned together but wouldn't have anymore. I have to keep on living knowing that that the man I loved didn't choose me when I really fucking needed him to."

At this point, I wasn't trying to keep track of my tears or my words. I just needed that out of my chest so I could be free. I was so tired of carrying these in my heart that even if it hurt, it was freeing.

"So it would be so fucking unfair to me if I just walked back into this," I say as I wipe my face with the back of my hand. "I can't do this to myself again. No matter how much a big part of me still cares about you. I deserve better. I have to choose myself because you clearly didn't."

He didn't say anything at that because there wasn't anything that could be said. Both of us knew that I was right.

Seeing him cry was like picking at an open wound, it made me feel even worse. But, what else could I do? I could feel this eating me up inside and I couldn't look past all the suffering I went through just because he showed up again.

"Loving someone isn't enough to keep a relationship going. You have a lot to do and you didn't, you really didn't. So I'm sorry if I can't just pretend to be okay with everything after a few hours spent together after a few months."

"You think you're the only one suffering in this? I lost you and I had to wake up in our bed every day. I had to be in this apartment knowing that the person who made it a home wasn't going to return. And that no matter what I did or who came by, it was never going to be the same."

His confession made my heart clench but he brought this upon himself. It wasn't me who gave up on it.

"And who's to blame for that?" I say looking into his eyes.

"I know. Don't you think I've blamed myself enough for that?  Because I did, for all the days that you have not been here. This is the first time in seven months when I have felt a sense of normalcy and that's because you're here. Don't you see that?"

Now that the bandaid was ripped once again, the both of us were in tears standing in the middle of the living room. The walls felt like they were getting closer and closer each second that passed.

"Did you know that Frankie came by on the third month? She gave me the TED talk of my life."

That caught your attention, Frankie has never mentioned that. At all.

"She told me that she knew that I wasn't good enough for you from the start, but that she had never expected me to be a shitty partner too. That she had never seen someone disrespect their girlfriend as much as I did without even knowing and that now that I was single the reason for my breakup pushed me aside for someone more interesting. So that not only was I trash for  how I treated you but I was also dumb for not seeing it."

His words come as a shock to you. With shaking hands and deep breaths, you look around the room trying to focus on something that isn't his red face.

"And she's not wrong, you know? And I was also a coward for never coming to you and watching your life on the sidelines."

At this point, I was feeling the huge urge to sob. My hands were sweaty, my tears were not even drying in my face as new ones came down.

"So I'm sorry, okay? I'm so fucking sorry for it. But please, don't say that I didn't care enough about you. Because I did."

His words keep ringing in my ear for a while as I try to place my thoughts correctly. Seven months ago I thought that it would be the last time I would see him and then I'd be able to heal and move on, but now seeing him and hearing everything was bringing a new wave of unaddressed feelings that I have not dealt with yet.

"I can't." A whisper comes out of my lips after a while. "And you have to understand why I can't do this again. I can't ignore everything."

He looks at me with his lips trembling as his tears keep on falling down his face. In the walls of this apartment now the only sound that rang was defeat. This was a lost cause and no matter what happened, both of us would be losing today. 

"I'm sorry, Drew. I really am, but there's nothing that can be done anymore. " I declare as I finally feel like he might let me go. "I hope you find someone who's ready and brave enough to love you through it all, you deserve to be loved and the times that I felt genuinely loved by you were the greatest. That person just won't be me."

Like the first time, months ago, I turned towards the front door and walked out.  Knowing that he would not follow me and that whatever had remained seven months and thirteen days ago, was completely over this time. Even if a huge part of me kept screaming at me to forgive him, I knew I couldn't. Not only it wouldn't be fair to me but I knew what would happen. Of course she wasn't as present in his life anymore, she completely isolated him from any potential significant other he could have. And if we got back together, the cycle would repeat itself and I would never put myself in a situation where I had to fight for someone's attention just to be tossed aside as if I was nothing. 

In this story, there was ever only one winner and it wasn't either Drew or I. 

💖taglist💖: @emmaafinchh @rafecamerons-national-anthem @bvleeeeeee @a-j-stuffs @maybankslover @lovelylove268 @cooper8224 @esquivelbianca @dreamybabbyy @lulubabii @idiotussupremus @drewsphswife @ietss @noneofyabuisnezs @chenslucy @yvbe99 @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @theeternaloptimistt @roselibrary @daddydraco0 @iheartcats444 @allopathi

[pickingupmymercedes]

Welcome!

Ella ◦ (she/her) ◦ Masterlist ◦ 1k Jukebox (1k event)◦ reqs: closed ◦

My ask and inbox are always open to chat, come say hello!

1k Jukebox (1k Followers Celebration)

Agora Hills - Doja Cat (Fluff, bits of angst)

Nothing without you - The Weeknd (Fluff)

Through the night - Maeta (Angst)

Partition - Beyoncé (NSFW)

As you leave - Canaan Cox (Fluff)

Let me go - Lou Val (Angst and NSFW)

Die with a smile - Lady Gaga & Bruno Mars (Fluff)

No chill - PND (Fluff and Angst)

Bed chem - Sabrina Carpenter (NSFW)

Diamonds - Rihanna (Fluff)

Grovel - April Jai (Angst)

Steal my girl - 1D (Fluff)

Pretty please - Dua Lipa (NSFW)

Back to december - Taylor Swift pt.1 pt.2 (Fluff and Angst)

Sexual love - Maeta (Fluff)

Do me - Kim Petras (NSFW)

Let it happen - Gracie Abrams (Angst and Fluff)

Neva play - Meghan Thee Stallion (Fluff)

Dinasty - Miia (Angst)

Hold on til we're old - Jamie Miller (Fluff)

Rocket - Beyoncé (NSFW)

Kiss me - Cassie (NSFW)

Blessed - Daniel Caesar (Fluff)

That Girl - Olly Murs (Fluff)

London Boy - Taylor Swift (Fluff)

34+35 - Ariana Grande (NSFW)

You're in love - Taylor Swift (Fluff and Angst)

Won't say I'm in love - Hercules (Fluff and Angst)

Ruin my life - Zara Larsson (Fluff and Angst)

Nervous - John Legend (Fluff)

Hands on you - Austin George (NSFW)

Bite-Sized Celebration (500 Followers) - Read the blurbs from the celebration

Lastest pieces

Salt and Starlight - Fluff (40th birthday special)

“This is exactly how I imagined love when I was a teenager.” “Yeah? Did you imagine me too?” “Shut up.” “For the record, I like vintage Ferraris better anyway.”

A Christmas Carol - Fluff (Christmas Special)

“That’s what makes it special, honey. It’s never about the perfect decorations or the perfect dinner. It’s about… this.” “The mess. The people. The noise. The love in all of it.”

White Fireproof - NSFW

“I’m only pointing out the obvious. The 2019 ones were iconic. These? Meh.” “I don’t remember much from that race. But those ten minutes? Burned into my memory forever.”

Ageless Wonder - Fluff (Las Vegas Special)

“How long can I leave it up before PR calls me personally to tell me I’m banned from every Mercedes garage on Earth?”. “I’d say we’ve got a couple hours before the panic sets in. Maybe three if I keep ignoring my phone.”

What it means - Fluff

“Since I was five, since I first saw Ayrton race on TV. He was my absolute hero, and I didn’t know much about the world back then, didn’t know what I could be, but seeing him… it made me believe.

Can't check out - NSFW

“Where’s the cutthroat guy who would have had me pinned to the wall by now?"

Lewis FULL Masterlist

I mainly write for Lewis Hamilton but I can be persuaded to write for Sebastian Vettel, Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz.

Also, I'm a huge Senna and Lauda fan, so they could be included as well.

There's little I consider too much, so feel free to send in anything. (This is a safe place ❤️)

Want to get to know me? Need questions?

NOTE: any bigotry/discrimination of any kind are NOT welcomed!!! Please, be nice.

WRITING TAG POST - if you want to be tagged interact with this post, comment on any of my works or send me DM/ask

[sterredem]

Short ‘n Sweet

Charles Leclerc x singer!reader

Face claim Sabrina Carpenter

Summary Y/n releases an album and Charles is whipped

Warning hate, slut shaming, not proofread, spelling mistakes

A/N sorry that didn’t post for a while, and that this came late, but I lost my log in.

I also made this in a day so there will be spelling mistakes.

Part 1 - Part 2

Instagram

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 3.754.754 others

Yourusername I’m going on tour!! I am so exited to bring the Short ‘n Sweer tour to north America and Europe!!!

This tour will be with special guests @amaarea @wiffygriffy & @thedeclanmckenna !!

Can’t wait to be singing with y’all soon💋

View all 22.764 comments

Instagram it’s her year😌

Charles_Leclerc Fir sure going to as many as I can

Spotify preparing ourselves now for the outros we are about to receive

User1 Hopefully it’s not to expensive 🤞🤞

User2 Excited😍

User3 please please please don’t make the tickets to expensive

User4 AAAHHHH

User5 not the article😂

User6 Can we just talk about how good she looks…?

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Instagram

Liked by gracieabrams and 5.826.826 others

Yourusername eventful

View all 7.725 comments

Charles_Leclerc gorgeous girl

Yourusername 💋

User7 wow

User8 in love

User9 not the switch😂

User10 Charles is so lucky

User11 so exited for the album!!

User12 Y/n Y/l/n the women you are

User13 😍😍😍

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Instagram

Liked by Taylorswift and 4.725.735 others

Yourusername look at you, the entire short ‘n sweet tour sold out, espresso #1 at pop radio andddd I slit down this slide :’) thank you all so much!!!

View all 12.752 comments

Taylorswift SUMMER OF Y/N AND MAY it CONTINUE FOREVER 😇

Zaralarson oh that’s queen shit

Charles_Leclerc so proud :)

User1 WOHO

User2 Taylor and Zara commenting?? She made it!

User3 she’s not our little secre eet anymore 😭

User4 overrated

User5 says you

User6 wow… just wow…

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Instagram

Liked by OliviaRodrigo and 8.735.826 others

Yourusername Short ‘n Sweet august 23rd!!!! Claim your track n tell your friends!!!

Comments are disabled

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Instagram

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 5.725.726 others

Yourusername my give a fucks are on euhhh how do u say

View all 9.625 comments

Charles_Leclerc Cute girl

Yourusername pretty boy

Gracieabrams wow, cutie

User7 She looks so good tho…

User8 awww… leoooo

User9 I love her and Charles

User10 I’m jealous of everyone in this photo dump

User11 you just see her glowing from happiness, she deserves it after her shitty ex

User12 I’m curious if any of the new songs are about Charles or her ex

User13 pastaaaaa

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Instagram

Liked Yourusername and 3.835.735 others

Charles_Leclerc flying ears and swimming fast

View all 8.736 comments

Yourusername who’s that handsome man?

Charles_Leclerc who’s that gorgeous girl?

Carlossainz55 cute

Landonorris whipped man, whipped

Pierregasly why wasn’t I invited?

Gracieabrams bring her back please

User1 Oh?? Y/n made it to the instagram!

User2 Charles be like 🧍

User3 Y/n looks so good and Charles is also there

User4 Leo is so cuteeee

User5 He looks so hot

User6 power couple fr

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Instagram

Liked by laufey and 5.725.835 others

Yourusername some shots for you before Short ‘n Sweet comes outtt

View all 9.725 comments

Charles_Leclerc Wow……… beautiful

Bsfuser I see myself!

Laufey cutie

User7 she knows she’s hot

User8 can’t wait for the album!

User9 speechless

User10 I love supportive bf Charles

User11 she is only so famous because of how she looks

User12 stfu. Saying that doesn’t make you cool

User13 sexyyyy

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Instagram

Liked gracieabrams and 3.254.164 others

Yourusername taste me!

View all 6.643 comments

User1 WHO IS THAT ON THE LAST SLIDE??!!

User2 Funeral?? Who’s in the last pic??

User3 she things she can distract us with the 1st pic but it won’t work!!

User4 it worked on me

User5 slut!

User6 listen to all because I liked a big my love. Just cause you have a man crush on Charles doesn’t mean that she is a slut

User7 OH?!

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Instagram

Liked by jennaortega and 4.735.735 others

Yourusername Short ‘n Sweet is officially yours now!!!

I feel so lucky that u het to write and sing songs for my job, and I love that you all listen to it!

This is a project that is very close to my heart, I have worked on it through different periods of my life, an do am delighted to share it with you all!

Thank you to my brilliant talented friend that helped me produce, write and record this. And an extra special thank you to my lovely boyfriend Charles fir helping me with the piano on these songs!

I love you all and I hope that you enjoy this!💋🩵

View all 13.725 comments

Jennaortega your mind ❤️!

Charles_Leclerc amazing!🩵❤️

User8 short ‘n sweet = no skips

User9 Y/N YOUVE DONE IT AGAIN!

User10 Love the album already!!

User11 MOTHER IS MOTGERING!!

User12 Bed chem? Dumb and poetic?? Juno??? Slim pickins???? Amazing!!!

User13 I love all the songs!!!!!!

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Instagram

Liked by Oliviarodrigo and 7.836.836 others

Yourusername Taste btssss. The music video for taste is out now!!

View all 9.735 comments

OliviaRodrigo Hot hot hot

Charles_Leclerc I’m there!

User1 AHAAAAAAHHHHH

User2 JENNA!!

User3 Charles being in yet another music video is amazing!!

User4 Charles is now in 3 music videos!

User5 wait… which ones? I thought only 2 now

User4 Feather, please please please, and now taste!

User6 OMG!!

User7 Masterpiece!!

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Instagram

Liked by Yourusername and 4.825.735 others

Charles_Leclerc My sweet girl just released a new album!! Go stream Short ‘n Sweet!!

View all 12.725 comments

Yourusername I LOVE YOU!!💋💋❤️❤️

Landonorris As I said, whipped

Carlossainz55 You won mate

User8 CUTEEE

User9 Love supportive bf!!

User10 you’re a lucky man Charles…

User11 is bed Chen about you???

User12 …Wow…

User13 I love you twoooo

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Also this will be the last part of this series: so this is the end. Maybe I will put one last small smau in it with a paddock appearance and the vma’s but that is if someone is interested. So let me know!!

[brookediamonds]

these hands had to let it go free and this love came back to me | Axel Kovačević x fem! reader

based off this request

summary: after moving to the states from Hong Kong, you join a local dojo to pursue your love for karate and try to move on from the past you left behind. that included your ex-boyfriend that broke up with you right before you left. little do you know, you'd come face to face with him once again.

Wc 2.k Warnings: none, fluff, angstttttt

not my gif

You had dreaded this moment. The day your dojo was invited to the Sekai Taikai, you prayed you wouldn't have to see him again. But there he was, dressed so nice in his green uniform, his captain's head band tied around his forehead you loved to kiss.

Axel Kovačević stood across from your team with the Iron Dragons, your former team. And now with seeing Tory stand with Cobra Kai, you couldn't help but feel sick to your stomach.

"You look like you're about to throw up," Miguel whispers over to you seeing your ill state.

"I might," you admit honestly.

"Maybe we can talk to her," Sam spoke up next to you.

"Yeah," you whisper knowing Tory wasn't the one consuming your thoughts.

Axel watched as the tall curly haired boy next to you reached behind you and rubbed your back comfortingly. Had you moved on? Who was this guy touching you?

After the head guy of the competition introduced all of the teams, and talked about the history of the Sekai Taikai, you're released for the day due to mingling events the sensei's have to attend and activities for the students to do.

As everyone was assigned to their designated rooms, you stood with Miguel and Sam waiting for Robby to return back to the group as he went to talk to Tory.

"Maybe I can ask my dad if we can go to one of the restaurants near here for dinner," Sam said scrolling through her phone seeing the map around the area.

"Johnny said all the student's are being treated to dinner at some restaurant nearby," Miguel interjected glumly.

"All the students?" You froze. That meant...

"(Y/n!)" You recognized her accent, the perky fake attitude hidden behind her voice.

"Why's that girl coming over?" Sam questions you.

"Well long time no see," Zara approaches you a smug look on her face. You roll your eyes, turning to face the perso you least wanted to see.

"Hi, Zara," you respond curtly crossing your arms over your chest.

"Sorry Axel couldn't say hi," she dramatically pouts. "He's busy finding our room. Cause we're together."

Our room? They were together?

"Can't say I'm surprised, you always did come up second to me," you tsk'd, tilting your head.

Sam and Miguel raised their eyebrows, eyes widening at your pettiness. They knew you could hold your own, but this was a new side of you they'd never seen before. And they were all for it.

Zara shot daggers at you, scoffing at your remark.

"Watch your back," she threatened glaring at you before walking away.

"Okay, start connecting those dots," Miguel and Sam step towards you wanting clarification. You stared off thinking back to when Axel ended things between you two.

A year ago...

You stretched on the mat of your dojo, distracted by the news your parents just gave you. Your mom received a promotion at work and the new position took place in Los Angeles, California.

You loved where you had grown up, even though you're originally from the states, you had spent the last ten years here. No dojo would be able to go through the same lengths as this one.

And California sure as hell didn't have Axel Kovačević, your current boyfriend. You had fallen in love with his dedication and quiet demeanor. He was your favorite mystery.

Seeing Axel walk into the dojo, you stood up on your feet and walk up to him.

"Hey," you greet him softly wrapping your arms around his frame. Axel goes stiff making you frown.

"Everything okay?" You ask pulling back from his body.

"Yes, need to go change," he says abruptly avoiding eye contact with you. Your shoulders deflated, at his sudden distant attitude. The only time he does this is when something is on his mind.

The next few hours of practice feel extremely long, especially when your sensei is taking every opportunity to call you out on every mistake you make.

When class is over, you wait outside the building for Axel, hoping you could talk him through whatever was on his mind.

"There you are," your boyfriend says seeing your figure standing alone outside the doors.

"I was waiting for you," you give him a small smile. Axel gives you a faint smile, his eyes still not entirely meeting your own.

"Axel, what's the matter?" You ask reaching out to stroke his arm. He takes your hand in his, squeezing it lightly.

"I- I think we should break up," he says hesitantly. You feel your heart drop to the pit of your stomach.

"What?" You blink, thinking maybe you misheard him. Maybe make out?

"I do not feel we belong together, I am sorry if this hurts your feelings," he says robotically. You drop his hand making him look down at you.

"D-Did I do something?" You stutter trying to find out where you went wrong this past week.

"It's not you," he shakes his head. "I think this is for the best."

You try to hold back the tears that swell in your eyes, his words cutting deep into you. None of this had made sense.

"Axel, I don't understand-" you begin to talk but he cuts you off with an impatient sigh.

"I do not want you anymore, (Y/n)!" He raises his voice startling you.

Oh. You nodded quickly wiping away the fresh hot tears cascading down your cheeks. He didn't want you anymore, he outgrew you.

"Got it," you muttered no longer looking at the boy you adored. "I'm not enough for you anymore."

"(Y/n)," Axel attempted to reach out for you but you had taken a step back not wanting to hear his excuses.

"Don't," you warn him making him stop in his place. "You made yourself clear."

He dropped his hand, watching your face turn to stone.

"Goodbye, Axel," say coldly before walking in the opposite direction, away from him.

Little did he know it would be the last time he saw you. When he saw your empty locker the next day, he was dumbfounded, no way you left this dojo just because of him.

He then learned a few weeks later, you were gone. You left home and there was no way of getting you back.

Present

"Last I heard, Sensei Wolf had lost the dojo to gambling, but I guess he got it back," you explained to your friends.

You, Sam, Miguel, and Robby hung out in your room waiting for it to be time to go to the aquarium.

"So this Axel guy, you two used to date?" Robby asked carefully.

"Yup," you respond lowly. "Didn't last that long."

"I can't imagine how weird this must be for you," Sam empathizes with you. You've always appreciated her grace, it's something that lacked severely at your last dojo.

"Not really," you admit sheepishly. "Iron Dragons had the best fighters, but it doesn't mean we worked well as a team."

Sam gave you a look knowing that's not what she meant.

"I moved on from him, we broke up before I left town anyway," you shrug off, avoiding their gazes.

At least you think you moved on.

-------------------------------------------------------

Your body was on high alert everywhere you went, the boy you fell in love with still gave you the same nerves he had given you on your very first date.

And you hated it. You were supposed to hate him after he did what he did to you. He made you feel small, like you were nothing.

Miyagi-Do made sure to never let you feel that way again. They accepted you for who you were and all that you are.

"You've got be kidding me..." you mumble seeing Axel and Zara sit diagonal from you, a couple of seats down from Robby and Miguel whom directly across from you and Sam.

"What's the matter?" Sam asks filled with concern. Her eyes trail down the table, landing on the issue that was bothering you. She lets out an angry sigh.

"Do you wanna move further down?" She suggests thoughtfully.

"No, we were here first," you held your head high, adjusting the menu in your hold. Sam nods, and from the corner of your eye you see her gesture to the people to the left of Miguel and Robby making them glance that way.

"There's so much room down there, they had to pick the chairs closest to us," Robby shakes his head in annoyance.

You can't help but giggle at your friend's protective state, one thing about this friend group; they will treat you like their own family.

"What's funny?" Miguel asks trying to see the comical side of this ordeal.

"Nothing," you grin at the three confused teenagers. "I just... love you guys."

"We love you too," Sam reciprocates wrapping an arm around you, leaning her head on your shoulder. You follow suit, laying your head on top of hers.

Unbeknownst to you, Axel is watching everything that happens. He sees your beautiful smile, the one that only a few people can bring out of you, it makes his heart ache.

He hears your laughter from down the table and can't help but want to know what was so funny? Who was making you gasp for air from how hard you were laughing?

He had missed the sound of your sweet giggles, to hear them again made him crack a smile he hardly wore now that you were gone.

For a brief moment, your eyes wonder down the table and connect with a pair of dark blue irises making your heart jump. Do you smile? Wave? Look away?

Before one of you can acknowledge each other, Zara catches sight of the two of you and holds her phone up in front of her and Axel making you break eye contact.

Right, they're together.

You focus back on Robby, slightly turning your body so you didn't have to face Axel the rest of the night.

When dessert was being passed around, you excused yourself needing to use the bathroom.

After you finished your business, you walked out into the hall but stop in your place when you see the tall Croatian boy standing a few feet away from you.

"Hey," Axel greets you, his deep voice sending a flutter through your heart.

"Hi," you exhale, taking in the sight of the boy in front of you. He wore a pair of black joggers, a red t-shirt, and his black jacket you would borrow time from time.

You make your way to walk past him, when he tugs at your hand, twirling you around to pull you in close, and smashes your lips together.

Fireworks erupted through your stomach, as he ran his hand through your locks, tugging your body close to his as much as possible.

You gasped shoving the boy back, realizing what had just happened.

"Why did you do that?" You demanded, tears brimming in your eyes.

"There's something you need to know," Axel says desperately making you shake with anger.

"You broke up with me," You pointed to yourself, reminding him he was the one who wanted out. "You said you didn't want me anymore."

"Is everything okay over here?"

You turn to see Robby standing behind you, his eyes filled with concern for you.

"All good," you smile faintly at your co-captain, walking towards him wiping away your salty tears.

"(Y/n)-" Axel reaches out for you again only for Robby to step in front of you.

"Let her go, man," Robby says calmly. Axel's face fell as you avoid his gaze.

Your friend wrapped an arm around you as you crossed your arms, guiding you away from your ex-boyfriend.

------------------------------------------------------

Sleeping was inevitable. You tossed and turned unable to get comfortable. There's something you need to know?

Ripping your sheets off, you quietly get out of bed and write a note for Sam incase she wakes up wondering where you went.

You decide to head to the hotel's gym to practice your breathing work that Sensei Toguchi taught you when you're feeling overwhelmed.

As you walked into the studio, you're taken by surprise when you see someone else was borrowing the room.

"Oh," you see Axel turn to you mid-move his eyes widening.

"S-Sorry," you apologize, "I'll go."

"Wait," Axel walks towards you, stopping when you start fidgeting with your fingers knowing it was a nervous tick you had.

"I do not apologize for kissing you," he confesses. "I missed you."

You shut your eyes, groaning at his words.

"You're with Zara," you point out to him. "You can't kiss me and be with her at the same time."

"I am not with Zara," Axel furrows his eyebrows, a small frown evident on his face. There was a jump of excitement that ran through you but then you remembered how things ended.

"Fine, with her, not with her, it's all the same," you mumble. "You ended us after a few months, with no explanation."

"I did not want to," he says urgently afraid you'd leave before finally being honest with you.

You narrowed your eyes at the guilty boy across from you, confused at what he was getting at.

"Sensei Wolf said we became distraction for each other," Axel explains.

A distraction?

"I did not want to hold you back, so I followed sensei's orders," he states. "I let you go so you could continue being the best fighter you could be."

You moved to sit down near the closest bench processing what he had just informed you.

"But now that I see you here, with those other guys," his hands turn into fist, tightening at the thought of them making you smile. "It makes me angry, I made mistake breaking up with you."

Axel tests the waters and moves to stand in front of you. You glanced up at him, slowly standing up your face only meeting chest level with the lengthy boy.

"Those guys are my friends, they're my family now," you explain softly. His familiar cologne filled your senses causing tingles to run through your body. You had missed him, all of him.

A year wasn't nearly long enough to forget what you two had, you still loved every little thing about him. His adoring freckles, his calming demeanor, his hard to pull smile.

"They look like they love you," he scoffs holding back an eye roll.

"They do love me," you say matter factly. "Because we're a team, we look out for each other."

"Do they love you as much as I do?" He asks throwing you for a loop. He closed the gap between you two, moving your hair over your shoulder.

You shuddered as Axel ran the back of his pointer finger over your cheek, finding it difficult to keep holding your wants back.

"They might," you murmur raising your hand to mess with the zipper of his jacket. He leans down, hovering his lips above yours, his warm breath mixing with your own.

"Do they kiss you like I used to?" He whispers before capturing your lips with his. It's passionate but sweet, making you chase after his lips when he pulls away.

"Maybe," you respond breathlessly as he tilted your head to the side giving him access to leave soft pecks down your neck.

"Do they even know what it takes to handle a woman like you?" He spoke lowly against your skin, tugging at the back of your hair lightly to make you look up at him.

You bit your lip, eyes hazily meeting his own.

"Probably," you teased. Axel ran a thumb across your bottom lip before diving in to brush his lips against yours, this time his tongue explored your mouth, getting to know it all over again.

When you come up for air, he leans his forehead against yours, pecking the tip of your nose.

"I am afraid if I let you go again, I will never see you, kiss you, or touch you, again," he frowns, rubbing your back soothingly.

"Then, don't," you beg. "I've missed you too."

"You do?" He asks searching for an answer in your eyes. You bring your hand to stroke his cheek.

"I always do," you respond. "Everyday."

"I do not care what sensei says, I love you and I will do anything to be with you again," he states.

"Anything?" You ask raising a skeptical eyebrow. Axel laughs pulling you into his chest, resting his chin on top of your head.

"Anything and everything," he promises leaving a sweet kiss to the top of your hair.

Anything and everything was true, Axel and you kept in contact the next few months until you both graduated and finally flew to see one another.

Turns out the study abroad program you applied to back in September had an opening in Europe making things just a little bit easier to see the man you loved.

[kokushibosbestie]

pookie can you make a tanjiro playlist?🥺 it’s oki if not ofc💖💖💖💖

✿ Tanjiro Kamado Playlist ✿

A/N: YES MY LOVE HERE YOU GO! I'M SORRY IT TOOK A FEW DAYS :')

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi Love & War - Yellow Claw, Yade Lauren Arcade - Duncan Let Me Down Slowly - Alec Benjamin Water Fountain - Alec Benjamin If We Have Each Other - Alec Benjamin STAY - The Kid LAROI, Justin Bieber Save Your Tears - The Weeknd Tadow - Masego, FKJ Out of My League - Fitz and The Tantrums Dandelions - Ruth B. Helpless - Phillipa Soo, Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton pov - Ariana Grande no tears left to cry - Ariana Grande Die For You - The Weeknd, Ariana Grande Halo - Beyoncé Just the Way You Are - Bruno Mars Sunroof - Nicky Youre, Dazy Sunflower - Post Malone, Swae Lee Adore You - Harry Styles Sucker - Jonas Brothers Lost in Japan - Shawn Mendes I Like Me Better - Lauv After Tonight - Justin Nozuka Lovebug - Jonas Brothers Enchanted (Taylors Version) - Taylor Swift Rude - MAGIC! Eastside - benny blanco, Halsey, Khalid Count On Me - Bruno Mars Lost Boy - Ruth B. Snowman - Sia Scars to Your Beautiful - Alessia Cara As It Was - Harry Styles Lush Life - Zara Larsson Dinero - Trinidad Cardona House of Memories - Panic! At the Disco Diamonds - Sam Smith Never Say Never - Justin Bieber Shape of You - Ed Sheeran Perfect - Ed Sheeran Maria Maria - Santana, The Product G&B If You Had My Love - Jennifer Lopez Skedaddle - Mannywellz Watermelon Sugar - Harry Styles Lights Up - Harry Styles Nonsense - Sabrina Carpenter i like the way you kiss me - Artemas Sure Thing - Miguel Mayonaka no Door / Stay With Me - Miki Matsubara Rather Be - Clean Bandit, Jess Glynne Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes, Adam Levine Dance, Dance - Fall Out Boy Sugar, We're Goin Down - Fall Out Boy Still Into You - Paramore

So yes, what I'm trying to say is that THE Tanjiro would listen to Harry Styles, Alec Benjamin and Ed Sheeran often. Not much rock for this one because I think Tanjiro wouldn't want to listen to that. Also, the singer and writer of Mayonaka no Door is named Miki too!!! That's so cool ngl!

NONE OF THE PICTURES OR SONGS BEING USED / MENTIONED ARE MINE, ONCE AGAIN THEY ARE NOT MINE. ALL CREDITS GO TO ORIGINAL POSTERS / CREATORS!!!

[tailsbeth-writes]

RWRB Festive Fan Fest | Dec. 14th: Decorations

Playlist | Can we be together babe for Christmas? ✨ | Make an espresso martini, it's time for Alex & Henry to make the Brownstone festive.

RAYE - Buss It Down.

Wolf Alice - Santa Baby

Lily Allen - Somewhere Only We Know

The Pogues & Kirsty MacCall - Fairytale of New York

Nothing But Thieves - Free If We Want It

Al Green & Annie Lennox - Put a Little Love In Your Heart

Taylor Swift - Christmas Tree Farm

Tom Odell - Real Love

Laura Mvula - Magical

Slow Club - Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

Courteeners - Winter Wonderland

Stephen Sanchez - Evangeline

Tom Jones & Cerys Matthews - Baby It's Cold Outside

The Backseat Lovers - Maple Syrup

Clarence Carter - Back Door Santa

Sabrina Carpenter - Feather

The Big Moon - It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

The Shacks - Crimson and Clover

dodie & Laufey - Love to Keep Me Warm

Celeste - A Little Love

Pretenders - 2000 Miles

Begonia - Marigold

Smith & Burrows - When the Thames Froze

Queen - Thank God It's Christmas

Fleet Foxes - Ragged Wood

Coldplay - Christmas Lights

FIZZ - Lights Out

Norah Jones - Christmastime

Omar Rudberg - Red Light

Maisie Peters - Together This Christmas

Zara Larsson - Invisible

[chaos-vulpix]

Legacyverse: Olivia - Marine Blade

1 Night - Mura Masa ft. Charli XCX

All the Time - Zara Larsson

Be With You - Rootkit ft. Gloria Kim

Bonbon - Era Istrefi

Cleopatra - Nova Twins

Conceited (There's Something About Remy) - Remy Ma

Confident - Demi Lovato

Down - Mr Kent & Ruby Red

Future Nostalgia - Dua Lipa

Girlfriend - Icona Pop

Hold Me Like a Grudge - Fall Out Boy

In My Mind - Maty Noyes

Maybe It's My Fault - WILLOW

New Look - Rita Ora

New Romantics (Taylor's Swift) - Taylor Swift

Rich Girl - Gwen Stefani ft. Eve

Tell Me You Love Me - Demi Lovato

Training Season - Dua Lipa

Waves - Normani ft 6LACK

When I Rule The World - LIZ

[zaralovestaylor]

does taylor know I would be a fundamentally different person if she had not put out Tim McGraw 18 years ago to start her career

[imecliptic]

since i’m having an inheritance games brainrot currently, i decided to throw together taylor swift songs/lyrics that i thought fit the characters. it was actually really hard but i’d totally do it again-

Avery Kylie Grambs: …Ready For It? - “Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him. Wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted. But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom, holdin' him for ransom.”

Libby Grambs: Tied Together With A Smile(I also really considered Begin Again) - “I guess it's true that love was all you wanted, 'cause you're givin' it away like it's extra change, hoping it will end up in his pocket, but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain.”

Nash Westbrook Hawthorne: Fearless - “We're drivin' down the road, I wonder if you know I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now. But you're just so cool, run your hands through your hair. Absentmindedly makin' me want you.”

Grayson Davenport Hawthorne: cardigan - “You drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleedin'. 'Cause I knew you, steppin' on the last train, marked me like a bloodstain, I- I knew you tried to change the ending; Peter losing Wendy.”

Jameson Winchester Hawthorne: Mine - “Do you remember, we were sittin', there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time. You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter. You are the best thing, that's ever been mine.”

Alexander Blackwood Hawthorne: The Archer - “I've been the archer, I've been the prey. Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?”

Tobias Tattersall Hawthorne: Mastermind - “What if I told you none of it was accidental? And the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me? I laid the groundwork and then, just like clockwork the dominoes cascaded in a line. What if I told you I'm a mastermind?”

Skye Hawthorne: the last great american dynasty - “‘There goes the last great American dynasty’ ‘Who knows if she never showed up, what could've been’ ‘There goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen’ ‘She had a marvelous time ruinin' everything’.”

Zara Hawthorne-Calligaris: Better Than Revenge - “I had it all I had him right there where I wanted him. She came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause; She took him faster than you could say ‘sabotage’.”

Toby Hawthorne: closure - “Don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled. I'm fine with my spite, and my tears, and my beers and my candles. I can feel you smoothing me over”

Pearl O’day: no body, no crime - “She thinks I did it but she just can't prove it. No, no body, no crime. I wasn't letting up until the day he… died.”

Alisa Ortega: Midnight Rain - He was sunshine, I was midnight rain. He wanted comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name.”

Maxine Liu: dorothea - “You got shiny friends since you left town, a tiny screen's the only place I see you now, and I got nothing but well wishes for ya.”

Thea Calligaris: New Romantics - “We need love, but all we want is danger. We team up, then switch sides like a record changer. The rumors are terrible and cruel; But honey, most of them are true.”

Rebecca Laughlin: tolerate it - “I greet you with a battle hero's welcome. I take your indiscretions all in good fun. I sit and listen, I polish plates until they gleam and glisten. You're so much older and wiser and I.”

Emily Laughlin: Wildest Dreams - “Say you'll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe. Red lips and rosy cheeks; Say you'll see me again, even if it's just in your wildest dreams.”

[folklore-barnes]

songs that defined me or i was obsessed with | 2024

take a broken heart – madeline merlo

birds of a feather – billie eilish

i love you, i'm sorry – gracie abrams

whatchu know about me – glo rilla, sexyy redd

without me – eminem

tv off – kendrick lamar, lefty gunplay

yahweh we love you – elevation worship

that's so true – gracie abrams

good luck babe – chappell roan

i had some help – post malon, morgan wallen

espresso – sabrina carpenter

traveling song – ryn weaver

you love who you love – zara larsson

a bar song (tipsy) – shaboozey

moth to a flame – the weeknd, swedish house mafia

orange show speedway – lizzy mcalpine

guilty as sin – taylor swift

montana sky – jonas brothere

so american – olivia rodrigo

i know the end – phoebe bridgers

girl you know it's true – milli vanilli

blowing smoke – gracie abrams

sol del sur – sun room

runnin' – elevation worship

phoenix – big red machine, fleet foxes, anaïs mitchell

juno – sabrina carpenter

the real slim shady – eminem

fortnight – taylor swift, post malone

playing with the boys – kenny loggins

apple – charli xcx

guy for that – post malone, luke combs

chiquitita – abba

speechless – lady gaga

left hand free – alt-j

make a way – elevation worship

pretty boy – léon

what don't belong to me – post malone

motion sickness – phoebe bridgers

block me out – gracie abrams

head over heels – tears for fears

looking for love – the strike

when i kissed the teacher – abba

por el contrario – becky g, leonardo & angela aguilar

un verano sin ti – bad bunny

cola – lana del rey

dirty diana – michael jackson

i'm gonna miss you – milli vanilli

blame it on the rain – milli vanilli

happy for you – dua lipa

por si las dudas – gale & lagos

born with a broken heart – damiano david

escapism. (live at royal albert hall) – raye, the heritage orchestra

lie to me – noguidnce

home sweet home – bigbang

not like us – kendrick lamar

hot to go! – chappell roan

california love – tupac, roger troutman, dr. dre

shop around – smokey robinson & the miracles

sloop john b – the beach boys

all too well 10 minute version – taylor swift

[pickingupmymercedes]

1K Jukebox

I don't even know where to start, but I'm so beyond mind blown that 1k of you chose to follow me and these stories.Honestly, thank you to each and every single one of you, from the bottom of my heart.

REQUESTS CLOSED

And to celebrate we’re creating our very own jukebox of blurbs and one shots.

Requested Songs

1:59 - Normani ft. Gunna

Me & U - Zeke Bleu

Agora Hills - Doja Cat

No chill - PND

Nothing without you - The Weeknd

Die with a smile - Bruno Mars & Lady Gaga

Ride it - Jay Sean

Partition - Beyoncé

Broke me first - Tate McRae

Rocket - Beyoncé

Through the night - Maeta

That girl - Olly Murs

Blessed - Daniel Caesar

Let me go - Lou Val

Bryson Tiller - Blame

Sexual love - Maeta

As you leave - Cannan Cox

Steal my girl - 1D

Grovel - April Jai

London boy - Taylor Swift

Do me - Kim Petras

Need to know - Doja Cat

34+35 - Ariana Grande

Pretty Please - Dua Lipa

Seven - Jungkook

Bed chem - Sabrina Carpenter

Kiss me - Cassie

Diamonds - Rihanna

Press me - Chris Brown

Position - Ariana Grande

Always - Isak Danielson

Black Pearl - Exo

Haunted - Beyoncé

Neva Play - Megan Thee Stalion

Hands on you - Austin George

Back to december - Taylor Swift pt.1 pt.2

Next to you - Chris Brown & Justin Bieber

Nervous - John Legend

Sand - Dove Cameron

Red - Taylor Swift

Ausência - Marília Mendonça

Let it happen - Gracie Adams

Won't say I'm in love - Hercules Movie

Dynasty - MIIA

There you are - Zayn

Fallin' all in you - Shawn Mendes

You're in love - Taylor Swift

It Girl - Jason Derulo

Hold on 'til we're old - Jamie Miller

Ruin my life - Zara Larsson

If you want to follow, all one shots will be under the ella1k hashtag

Rules:

Only Lewis requests

Please give me a general direction of genre and where you'd like things to go

I’ll write it as sfw and nsfw (please state if you don't want it nsfw)

I'll be accepting requests from the 29th of September through the 6th of October (a week)

They can range from 400 words to full 2k one shots (depends on what my mind comes up with)

I won’t write for a song twice (they’ll be listed down below and will be updated as they get requested)

The fics won't necessarily be posted in that order but they'll all be written (I'll try my best to get them all done asap)

Note: your idea might be incorporated into one of my on-going series.

Note 2: I'm updating the requested songs list every other day, so if you sent a request and in two/three days it hasn't been added tumblr probably ate your ask (do send it again, please)

[1000-year-old-virgin]

203 Best Songs of 2023

Janine - If I Call *FAVE SONG OF THE YEAR*

Kim Petras - Brrr

Sam Smith, Koffee, Jessie Reyez - Gimme

ILIRA - Work of Art

Joseph - Nervous System

Mariah the Scientist ft. 21 Savage - 77 degrees

PinkPantheress & Ice Spice – Boy's a liar Pt. 2

Ryan Destiny - Lie Like That

Latto ft. LU KALA - Lottery

Chrissy Chlapecka - I'm So Hot

Ashnikko - Don't Look at It

serpentwithfeet - Gonna Go

Don Toliver ft. Lil Durk & GloRilla- Leave The Club

Don Toliver ft. James Blake - Let Her Go

Miley Cyrus - Flowers

Miley Cyrus - River

Meghan Trainor - Mother

Ice Spice & Nicki Minaj - Princess Diana (Remix)

Melanie Martinez - DEATH

Natalie Jane - Seeing You With Other Girls

Amelia Moore feat. jxdn - FUMD

Ashnikko - You Make Me Sick!

Flo Milli ft. Lola Brooke & Maiya The Don - Conceited (Remix)

Flo Milli ft. Monaleo & Gloss Up - Bed Time (Remix)

Astrid S - Come First

Ashnikko - Want It All

salem ilese - PainHub

Libianca ft. Ayra Starr & Omah Lay - People (Remix)

Labrinth ft. Billie Eilish - Never Felt So Alone

Katie Belle - The Best You'll Ever Have

Emilie Nicolas - Everyday

Donna Missal - Flicker

Donna Missal - Out of Me

Donna Missal - Move Me

Donna Missal - God Complex

Donna Missal - I Saw God

LØLØ ft. girlfriends- 5,6,7,8

Jackson Wang & Ciara - Slow

Troye Sivan - Can't Go Back, Baby

Baby Tate & Saweetie - Hey, Mickey! (Remix)

Shania Twain - Number One

Shania Twain - Got It Good

Empress Of ft. Rina Sawayama - Kiss Me

NLE Choppa ft. SexyyRed / Sukihana - Slut Me Out (Remix)

Maggie Lindemann, Siiickbrain - deprecating

Ed Sheeran - The Hills of Aberfeldy

Rita Ora ft. Fatboy Slim Praising You (Fatboy Slim Remix)

Tyla & Ayra Starr - Girl Next Door

Kesha - Only Love Can Save Us Now

Ciara ft. Lola Brooke & Lady London - Da Girls (Girls Mix)

Jeremy Zucker - OK

CXLOE - Flight Risk

Josh Levi - See Low

Josh Levi - BIRTHDAY DANCE

Alex Vaughn & Summer Walker - So Be It (Remix)

Alex Vaughn & Ari Lennox - Demon Time (Remix)

Taylor Swift ft. Ice Spice - Karma (Remix)

Taylor Swift ft. Lana Del Rey - Snow On The Beach (More Lana Del Rey Edit)

Boris The Lucid - BOYFRIEND

Carrie Underwood - Take Me Out

Libianca - Jah

Conan Gray - Never Ending Song

The Aces - Always Get This Way

Madison Beer ft. Timbaland - Home To Another One (Remix)

Äyanna - Girlfriend

Nicki Minaj & Ice Spice ft. Aqua – Barbie World

Rita Ora - That Girl

Rita Ora - Unfeel It

Tanerelle - Feel Good Inc. X Sidetracked (Perfect Lover Mash Up)

Sleater-Kinney - Hell

Saweetie ft. YG & Tyga - BIRTHDAY

Mae Stephens ft. Meghan Trainor - Mr Right

Brooke Candy - FMUATW

Ben Kessler - When I Hate Myself

Eliott ft. Vancouver Sleep Clinic - Happy On My Own

Reneé Rapp - Pretty Girls

Leah Kate - Bored

Chappell Roan - HOT TO GO!

Rina Sawayama ft. Amaarae - Imagining

GAYLE - Leave Me For Dead

Selena Gomez - Single Soon

Äyanna - Change Your Life

Julia Wolf - Wishbone

Cloudy June - Devil Is A Woman

Anne-Marie ft. Shania Twain - UNHEALTHY

Leaf ft. Bandmanrill, DJ Drewski - 2 Freaky

Olivia O'Brien - I should've fucked your brother

SIIICKBRAIN - Psychopath

Adekunle Gold - Do You Mind?

Duncan Laurence - I Do

Dizzy - Open Up Wide

Leigh-Anne ft. Ayra Starr - My Love

Troye Sivan – Got Me Started

Cate - Girlfriend

NERIAH - Falling 4 Somebody

Cardi B ft. Megan Thee Stallion - Bongos

Amelia Moore - Over My Ex

Johnny Orlando - Boyfriend

Tyla - Water

Tems - Me & U

Mette - Mama's Eyes

Wrabel - Beautiful Day

Chxrry22 - MORE

Norah Jones - Can You Believe

Kanii ft. Trippie Redd - sins (let me in) [Remix]

Niall Horan & Lizzy McAlpine - You Could Start A Cult (Encore Version)

Travis Scott ft. Beyoncé - DELRESTO (ECHOES)

Addison Rae ft. Charli XCX - 2 Die 4

Gyakie - Rent Free

Kim Petras - Hit It From The Back

Kim Petras ft. Banks - Bait

Kim Petras - Dirty Things

K. Michelle - Blame Yourself

Sunnitharapper ft. Salma Slims - Moody

Troye Sivan - One of Your Girls

Lady London ft. Jeremih - Do Something

Zara Larsson, David Guetta - On My Love

cassö, RAYE, D-Block Europe - Prada

Serpentwithfeet- Damn Gloves

Dove Cameron - Still

Kenya Grace - Paris

Dua Lipa - Houdini

Tokischa ft. Sexyy Red - Daddy

Zach Seabaugh - Helium Balloons

COBRAH - 10/10

COBRAH - BAD POSITION

COBRAH - TEQUILA

Clinton Kane - PANIC ATTACK

Megan Thee Stallion - Cobra

Nick Wilson - For You It Was Him

Nick Wilson - Way Back

Ice Spice - Deli

Enchanting - Needy

SZA - Kill Bill

Kylie Minogue - Padam Padam

Summer Walker - Girls Need Love (Girls Mix) ft. Tyla / Victoria Monet / Tink

Tate McRae - exes

Tove Lo - I like u

Kim Petras - Je T'Adore

Doechii - Booty Drop

Kim Petras - Claws

Sam Smith & Madonna - VULGAR

Kim Petras - uhoh

Borgore x Cupcakke x Chase Icon - Abracadabra

Clinton Kane - DISAPPEAR

Nicki Minaj - Big Difference

Nicki Minaj - Pink Friday Girls

Charli XCX ft. Sam Smith - In The City

Reneé Rapp ft. Megan Thee Stallion - Not My Fault

Flo Milli - Never Lose Me

Kim Petras - Thousand Pieces

Kim Petras - Minute

Charli XCX - Speed Drive (jamesjamesjames Remix)

Chrissy Chlapecka - BRAT

The Last Dinner Party - My Lady of Mercy

Shania Twain - Waking Up Dreaming

Nicki Minaj - Fallin 4 U

Jessie Ware ft. Pabllo Vittar -Pearls (Brabo Remix)

Shania Twain - Queen Of Me

Chiké, Oxlade - Spell [Remix]

Anycia - REFUND

Lah Pat ft. Flo Milli - Rodeo (Remix)

Biig Piig - This Is What They Meant

Niall Horan - Save My Life

Bronze Avery - Sex In The Room

Ava Max - Cold As Ice

Peach PRC - F U Goodbye

Suzanne Sheer - Off Limits

Nicki Minaj - FTCU

Madison Rose - Girls Girls Girls

Kaliii ft. GloRilla - Can't Get 'Em

BIA - FALLBACK

Miley Cyrus - Jaded

Kylie Minogue - You Still Get Me High

Miley Cyrus - Violet Chemistry

Miley Cyrus ft. Sia - Muddy Feet

Bebe Rexha - Visions (Don't Go)

Coi Leray - My Body

Coi Leray ft. Saucy Santana - Spend It

Maiya The Don - Luv U Better

The Last Dinner Party - Nothing Matters

IDK ft. Jucee Froot & Saucy Santana - Pinot Noir

Tinashe - Uh Huh

Nicki Minaj - Beep Beep

Nicki Minaj - Pink Birthday

Bella Poarch - Bad Boy

Nicki Minaj - My Life

Trippie Redd & BANKS - Saint Michael Myers

Tamera - Frozen

Shygirl & CoSha - Thicc

Ari Lennox - Get Close

Flo Milli - Fruit Loop

Mette - For The People

Amaarae - Angels in Tibet

Jamila Woods ft. Saba - Practice

Rachel Chinouriri - Maybe I’m Lonely

Jonah Kagen - Save My Soul

The OMG Girlz - Lover Boy

Karin Ann - A Stranger With My Face

Victoria Monet - Alright

Paige - Aquarian

Jack Harlow - Lovin On Me

KenTheMan - Mean B*tch

2022's List

[manyfandomocs]

Harry Potter OC Masterlist (K-Z)

(A-J) (The Greatest Show series)

Name: Kieran Quill (Marauders, Gryffindor)

Fic: Laugh with the Sinners

Love Interest: Sirius Black

FC: Taylor Zakhar Perez

Name: Lenore Han (Durmstrang, N/A)

Fic: Come Alive

Love Interest: Romulus Balan

FC: Jessie Mei Li

Name: Lisette Cayard (Golden Trio, Beauxbatons)

Fic: From Now On

Love Interest: Jurica Lazarov

FC: Amy Forsyth

Name: Mathieu Cayard (Golden Trio, Beauxbatons)

Fic: The Other Side, From Now On

Love Interest: Seamus Finnigan

FC: Dylan Sprayberry

Name: Matilda Griffiths (Marauders, Ravenclaw)

Fic: Starry Night

Love Interest: James Potter

FC: Rachel Zegler

Name: Maxine Weasley (Next Gen-Riddle, Gryffindor)

Fic: Price of Your Greed

Love Interest: Tom Riddle, Oberon Lovegood

FC: Alisha Boe

Name: Morgana Gryffindor (Golden Trio, Hufflepuff)

Fic: Bold, Fair, Sweet and Shrewd

Love Interest: Blaise Zabini

FC: Danna Paola

Name: Nicola Doyle (Marauders, Ravenclaw)

Fic: Nevermore

Love Interest: Peter Pettigrew

FC: Saoirse-Monica Jackson

Name: Oberon Lovegood (Riddle, Slytherin)

Fic: Price of Your Greed

Love Interest: Maxine Weasley

FC: Louis Partridge

Name: Otto Kowalski-Goldstein (Golden Trio, Hufflepuff)

Fic: Heart of a Golden Badger

Love Interest: Charlie Weasley

FC: Logan Lerman

Name: Petronella Grigsby (Fantastic Beasts, Ravenclaw)

Fic: Unusual Love and Where To Find It

Love Interest: Newt Scamander

FC: Lily James

Name: Phineas Darlings (Golden Trio, Gryffindor)

Fic: The Boy Who Tried

Love Interest: Daniel Potter, TBD

FC: Kit Young

Name: Romulus Balan (Durmstrang, N/A)

Fic: Come Alive

Love Interest: Lenore Han

FC: Archie Renaux

Name: Tabitha Booth (Golden Trio, Ravenclaw)

Fic: Catching The Keeper

Love Interest: Harry Potter, Oliver Wood

FC: Brenna D'Amico

Name: Zara Dixson (Golden Trio, Hufflepuff)

Fic: Braveheart

Love Interest: Neville Longbottom

FC: Willow Shields

[myfairkatiecat]

Every line of “anti-hero” Taylor Swift applies to at least one Hawthorne.

I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser

Midnights become my afternoons

Jameson, in every sense of these lyrics. He’s always up at night doing whatever he needs to do to not think about whatever it is he needs to avoid. He chases as much adrenaline as he needs to not feel terrible.

When my depression works the graveyard shift all of the people

I’ve ghosted stand there in the room

Grayson and Nash (Grayson bc he’s distant and Nash bc he’s avoidant)

I should not be left to my own devices

They come with prices and vices

I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)

Jameson, all the way. Also it’s possible that Xander feels this way, even though we all find his scheming quite endearing as he doesn’t seem as bent on self-destruction as Jameson

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving

Cause you got tired of my scheming (for the last time)

Grayson and Jameson bc Emily gave them issues

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me

At tea time everybody agrees

For Jameson this could be interpreted as him feeling like he’s seen as too “ordinary” by his grandfather compared to his brothers but also knowing full well the disapproval he gets for the things he does to NOT be ordinary.

For Grayson, it could mean that he knows he has to be better than all of his siblings bc everyone knows he’s inheriting it all one day (ha.) and feels like he never lives up to it.

For Nash this looks like being the one brother who was never as involved in their grandfathers games as his brothers and always was a little more distant for the family. While he WANTS to be distant, he probably feels very confronted every time he catches sight of his relatives, even if they aren’t thinking about it that way.

For Xander, this probably refers to how he’s the youngest and least serious of his brothers and probably felt inferior as a child despite the fact that he’s the smartest of all the Hawthorne brothers

I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

Hm which Hawthorne brother will do literally anything except confront themselves and their own actions? Which Hawthorne would stare directly at the sun, but never really look at themselves? EVERY SINGLE ONE. It looks different for all of them—for Nash, it’s pretending his last name isn’t Hawthorne; for Grayson, it’s burying himself in pressure and stress and work; for Jameson, it’s living 2000 miles an hour; for Xander, who actually probably has less issues with this (he seems introspective to me), it’s always creating other things that do things and never really noticing himself doing things. I could even get into talking about Skye and Zara here if I wanted.

Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby

And I’m a monster on the hill

To big to hang out slowly lurching towards your favorite city

Pierced through the heart but never killed

So, all four of them being extremely attractive means this can’t be taken the way it’s meant, but I imagine Nash probably has weird feelings about all his little siblings being around the same age and having all these shared experiences he is less familiar with.

Do you hear the covert narcissism disguised as altruism

Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)

Grayson, all the way. Especially after reading The Brothers Hawthorne. It’s part of what I love about his character. His internal monologue is “look at me being manipulative and asserting my power over everyone else” even when what he’s doing is perfectly fair (and sometimes when it absolutely isn’t). It’s almost like at some point, he was raised to take over his father’s business of being a billionaire who plays dirty and never learned any other way to be, and kind of hates that about himself.

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving

And life will lose all it’s meaning (for the last time)

Still Grayson and Jameson and still bc they have Emily Issues, but this version of the lyrics is how they would feel about losing Avery. Not, “she left bc she got tired of me” but “she’s gone and now everything is back to how it was when nothing meant anything”

(Chorus is the same)

I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money

She thinks I left them in the will

The family gathers round and reads it and then someone screams out

“She’s laughing up at us from hell”

I actually forgot this verse existed when I started making this post. But. This verse belongs to Tobias Hawthorne I. Duh. I guess this fits even better than I thought it did 😂 this is LITERALLY the plot of The Inheritance Games

I rest my case, “Anti-Hero” is the Hawthorne family anthem. Someone get all these boys therapy and happy endings 😭