#your mysterious moderator is AHEAD OF THE GAME!

[asouefanworkevent]

another fall is upon us! another woevember is coming!!

what is it?

woevember is an asoue fanwork event week, that will take place from november 12th through november 18th, 2023. last year there was a different group of characters each day, and this year, each day of the week is dedicated to a different location for a series of unfortunate events or all the wrong questions.

what do i do?

the prompts will be revealed now, so everyone has time to make something. between now and the week of november 12th, you’ll create fanworks about the prompts, and then post it on the corresponding day during november 12th - 18th!

don’t forget to tag this tumblr (asouefanworkevent) in the post so i can find it and reblog it, and tag the post with #woevember !

what do you mean by fanwork?

everything! fanfic and fanart are of course allowed, but woevember has always been meant to be an event that is as big or as little effort as you want! fanwork also means edits, gifs, analysis posts, headcanons!! your cosplay!! your photography!! your photosets!! your web weaving!! your super short fics!! your sketchiest drawings!! your most ramble-y half-fic idea posts!! your wip scenes!! you merely saying 'lemony snicket, though. am i right?????' (and you are. you're so right.) whatever you are moved to make from the prompts! i want people to be encouraged to and be able to create even something small that didn’t exist before for the snicketverse, and share it with other people!

are there any rules?

to keep the event open and comfortable for everyone, no explicit content. also, as always, sibling romance and age gaps will not be tolerated.

do i have to make something for every day?

only if you want to! feel free to just make something for one day if you want :) the point of having a different theme for each day is so some part of canon that you like comes up eventually, and you can at least make something for one of the days. or you get struck by an idea you might not have considered before! i want to get people thinking about all the intriguing people and places in asoue and atwq and the exciting different ways we can interpret and create from the same idea.

what are the prompts?

the description under each prompt is just some ideas to get your brain going -- feel free to take them in another direction too!

november 12th - olaf's mansion

to celebrate the 24th anniversary of the bad beginning! what becomes of the house post-canon? was it olaf's family home? what sort of nefarious, or, perhaps, completely innocent shenanigans have occurred here, pre-canon? does this house also have a secret passage somewhere?

november 13th - the baudelaire mansion

did beatrice and bertrand build the mansion? what sweet pre-canon moments have we missed with the baudelaire children and their parents? what visitors came there? do people still think the mansion remains are haunted post-canon? what sort of new home do the baudelaires make for themselves when they return to the city?

november 14th - the clusterous forest

the wild and lawless place. what was it before the water was removed? what sort of beach or shore was there? where did the water go? does it ever come back? what does lemony, or anyone else, find in there? does another train ever come through after the thistle of the valley? do the stain'd-by-the-sea crew ever go in to investigate it? what sort of rumors might be created about a place like the clusterous forest?

november 15th - the hotel denouement

the last safe place! is it vfd-owned, or denouement-owned? what happens down in the archives? are the archives ever found? what sort of firefighter or firestarter meetings have taken place here? what relationship might they have with the preludio hotel? what were the denouements up to at the hotel? what hotel, or what sort of home in general, might frank and ernest create for themselves post-canon, with dewey's absence?

november 16th - the masked ball

the duchess of winnipeg's masked balls have so much potential! what happened at that last one, where lemony tried to contact beatrice? when was that? what happened at past balls? what is the duchess's relationship with the parties? (whether the duchess is jacquelyn or r or jacquelyn is r's daughter is up to you, dear reader!) what costumes do they all pick! or is there even a different masked ball you might have in mind?

november 17th - the reptile room

to also celebrate the 24th anniversary of the reptile room! what becomes of this house post-canon? how did monty come to own the reptile room, where does his herpetology career fit into vfd? why was the quagmire mansion connected to it? how did jacques get there and find quigley? what other moments with the baudelaire children in the reptile room might we have missed -- or pre-canon moments with the baudelaire parents? do not forget about our beloved, the incredibly deadly viper!

november 18th - free space!

there's tons of other locations, too! prufrock prep, heimlich hospital, 667 dark avenue, paltryville, caligari carnival, the city, the punctilio, veblen hall, the orion observatory, the opera, the sewers, the hemlock tearoom and stationery shop, the museum of items, the museum of bad breakfast, the snicket mansion, the quagmire mansion, the island, the mortmain mountains, lucky smells lumbermill, wade academy, killdeer fields, anwhistle aquatics, the queequeg? or do you care not for locations! use the free space to write about the character or relationship or thought of your choosing!

if you have any questions about anything, feel free to drop me an ask or a message!

happy creating, and i hope to see lots of you november 12th-18th!! ✨

[devildom-moss]

Celebrating the holidays/New Year headcanons (the others)

The second part of this ask by @angel6776

(Part 1: general + the demon brothers headcanons)

(Suggestive, except for Luke's part, obviously) (Platonic/familial for Luke)

Word Count: +5,300 (no wonder this request took so long)

Diavolo

He’s so excited to hear about your usual holiday traditions. He’ll invite you over for tea just so you can tell him all about it. Honestly, he’ll feel a bit disappointed if you don’t have any particular traditions or if you have negative feelings about the holidays. However, if that’s the case, he’ll be even more motivated to ensure that you have an excellent holiday season in the Devildom. Diavolo wants to build new traditions with you that you can cherish. If not for Barbatos and Lucifer, Diavolo would be willing to spend anything to show you a good time.

He will actually get his work done ahead of schedule if it means you can come over and decorate the castle with him. It sounds like such a fun couple-y experience and if he can’t do that, he’ll pout, and Barbatos will never hear the end of it – especially if the brothers or someone else mentions that you helped them decorate.

Schedules a date with you near the end of the year 2 or more weeks in advance and uses it as motivation to get through all his work. Although, on occasion, he gets scolded for daydreaming too much. He can’t stop imagining holding your hand on a chilly Devildom night or kissing you in the snow or wrapping his arms around you in bed and pulling you so close that your breath would warm his skin.

Brings an assortment of rare Demonus to the party, which puts everyone in a good mood. He drinks moderately and joins in on every possible activity everyone is involved in, and he tries to drag you into them too. “MC, you have to sing a duet with me. Please?” “Have you tried the cake Simeon and Luke prepared yet? Here, I brought you a slice. It’s delicious. I wonder if they would share the recipe with Barbatos.” “Would you care to dance with me?” “You should join our game, MC. Come, you can sit on my lap if you’d like.”

It starts to feel like even if Diavolo is involved in some other activity, he always has an eye on you. He just can’t keep his eyes from searching for you. He’s one of the first people to notice if you disappear with someone else, but assuming you aren’t exclusively together, he lets you have your fun. Just know that whatever state you return in, once he gets you to himself, he’ll be determined to unravel and fluster you twice as much as the last person.

He will get his chance to steal you away for a while. If he can’t find the opportunity during the party, he’ll ensure that he’s the last person awake so he can have you all to himself at the end of the party. If you’re out, too, then you’ll mysteriously be impossible to find the morning after the party.  

Gifts – giving: The man loves giving gifts, and while he’s usually fine handing out presents in a group, he preferers the intimacy of giving you your present alone. He’d give you a whole house if he thought he wouldn’t get in trouble for it. Instead, he’s likely to give you fine jewelry or clothes. He’s a bit like Asmo in that he adores dressing you up in items that accentuate your attractiveness. It’s also a thrill to know he’s the one who gave you the clothes that will inevitably end up strewn across his bedroom floor. If it’s immediately clear that you like the clothes/jewelry, he’ll chuckle, lean in, and whisper in your ear, “If you like it so much, wear it on our next date. I want to be the first person to see you in and out of it.” If not clothes or jewelry, he might do something more extravagant like importing some of your favorite plants to be displayed in a temporary exhibit at the Devildom botanical gardens. (so much research goes into this, too). Diavolo will invite you on a date to show you the exhibit before it opens to the public. He’d probably arrange it so you can go during off hours and enjoy the entire location by yourselves. He might also opt for sentimental gifts: photo albums, scrapbooks, or trinkets that will remind you both of some shared memory.

Gifts – receiving: Literally anything (well, almost. Don’t give him pickles or something he despises). Diavolo is too thrilled to be getting a gift from you to care about exactly what it is. That’s not to say that he doesn’t appreciate your efforts, though. Just show him that you care, and he’ll be a happy little prince. If it’s handmade or sentimental, he’ll love it – even things as small as a keychain from somewhere you visited. If Barbatos would let you, Diavolo would love to make you be his butler for a day (he would reward the thoughtful gift by being at your service all night).

Barbatos

He strikes me as a “I could do without the holidays” guy. Everything gets so busy and he has to scramble to finish up all of his work for the year – and on top of that, Diavolo’s desire to shirk his responsibilities seems to get worse this time of year. (Shit like: “Barbatos, the brothers had a snowball fight today. Do you think we –” “Did you finish that paperwork I handed you this morning?” “. . . no.” “Then, no.”)

However, your presence makes it all more bearable. He likes helping out and ensuring that everyone he cares about has a good holiday season but knowing that he can give you a good holiday brings him a unique, unmatched joy.

Barbatos will invite you to tea a few times under the guise of wanting your opinion on the party menu. If you can be trusted in the kitchen, he may even ask for your assistance – not because he needs it, though. His only need is you. His heart melts when you try his cooking and praise him. If you help with the cooking, he adores the feeling of working beside you. This man will absolutely charm you up in the kitchen: hand feeding you before kissing you to experience the flavor of the food combined with your lips, swiping sauce or icing along your skin just to lick it off, pressing his body firmly against yours while he peers over your shoulder to check your progress, and goodness all the things he could do for you while he waits for the oven timer to ding.

The quantity, quality, and variety of food this man prepares for the party should earn him head praise. For all the effort he put in, you almost wish he would do a bit more than sip at his Demonus and people-watch most of the time. He might play a few games or dance if you, Diavolo, or Luke encourage him to, but he tends to fade into the background.

Luckily, that makes it easier for him to slip away with you. He suspects that he won’t have much time, so once he gets you somewhere quiet, he makes quick work of improving your night. “You look lovely tonight, MC. I must admit, I’m quite taken with you. I’m glad you seem to be enjoying yourself. Please, allow me to make you feel even better while we have some time to ourselves.”

Luck may yet again be in his favor if he happens to get you all to himself just before midnight on New Year's Eve.

Gifts – giving: If you’re a fellow tea lover, you can expect custom tea blends from plants that Barbatos has grown himself. No doubt, they would be delicious. He may also use a bit of magic to give them a calming effect or to bring you happiness. Another likely present would be hand-made outfits. Affection swells in him when he sees you wearing something that he crafted just for you. “Oh dear, I’m afraid I’ve made a mistake. You look so enticing that I’m eager to get you out of those clothes already.” He would love to offer you his services for a day if you wanted it, but he may have to postpone that until after the New Year, when things are less hectic. In the meantime, he’s more than happy to prepare delicious meals for you.

Gifts – receiving: Barbatos is keen on more practical gifts, but he’ll appreciate a touch of sentimentality: custom kitchen knives with a sweet message engraved on it (a kitchen knife with something symbolic of love, affection, or even lust like a rose or lilac engraved on it would melt him); embroidered handkerchiefs, kitchen towels, or dust rags for him to use; human world herbs and spices; and tea blends that you created with him in mind. He’ll appreciate the thought and usefulness. Alternatively, if you just want to give him yourself, he has no complaints.

Luke

This sweet child is so hyped for the holidays. He wants to try whatever fun traditions you tell him about. That excitement is only compounded by the introduction of new seasonal foods becoming available. There are so many new sweets to try, and he can bake often with the cool winter temperatures.

He will be begging Simeon and Barbatos to teach him new recipes, and, of course, they’ll cave. Luke will be bringing you new treats every few days. When he isn’t bringing sweets to you, he’ll try to bring you to the sweets. Luke, Beel, Asmo, and Thirteen are up on many of the limited-time seasonal offers at cafés and bakeries. He’ll invite you to go with him to try something new. Sometimes he wants alone time with his parent #3 best buddy, but usually he’s happy to have Simeon, Solomon, Raphael, Beel, Barbatos, and/or Mephisto tag along (he’s fine with the others, too, but these six are his favorites).

Asks you to help decorate with him or offers to help you decorate. He has a great time making things look all festive – even if he is too short to reach some places.

Helps Simeon with the baking for the party – although he also prepares a few things on his own. Luke savors the experience of baking with his loved ones during the holidays; it seems like the cheer-bringing thing to do.

Juice, mocktails, and hot chocolate only! They’re good drinks, but the assortment was primarily prepared with Luke in mind.

He spends a lot of time playing games, singing karaoke with Levi, and eating with Beelzebub. Your son Luke is less clingy than most of the demons, but he makes sure to check in with you once in a while to ensure you’re having a good time. He’ll ask you to be on his team for games and he’ll even bring you food (especially the things he made).

Falls asleep relatively early on despite insisting he can stay up. When he wakes up before the others, he’ll start cleaning and probably prepare breakfast for everyone (because he’s the nicest son ever).

Gifts – giving: Luke would probably give you cute gifts that accidentally remind you what an adorable little angel he is. Items like plushies, matching keychains, and cute stationery are likely options. The latter would probably come with a sweet admission: “You’re always helping me study, and I’ve learned so much from you, so I thought something that made studying more fun would be a good gift.” If he has the time, he might ask Raphael, Levi, and/or Barbatos to teach him how to sew a plushie for you. He might also bake a box of assorted cookies for you (possibly more than you can even eat).

Gifts – receiving: Luke is easy to give gifts to. On the more practical end, he’d be excited to receive kitchen tools or serveware: cute animal-shaped silicone molds, cute bento boxes, a nice teacup, etc. Giving him books (I feel like fantasy, mystery novels, and cookbooks would be especially good) would also work. On a more sentimental side, getting him matching keychains or sweatshirts would have this little angel eager to show off. (Just imagine Luke in a big, cozy sweater telling Simeon, “Look, Simeon, MC gave me this sweater. They have one just like it. We match now!”) Additionally, you could compile a book of recipes for him, collecting all the recipes he’s learned and been taught since coming to the Devildom. He would cherish that so much he would keep it in a prominent spot on his bookshelf.

Simeon

Why does Simeon strike me as such a winter boy? Maybe I just think he’d look cute in cozy sweaters or baking in the kitchen? Anyway, he has a lot of fun learning about your human traditions, but he especially enjoys seeing you and Luke having a good time.

Invites you over to bake at least once before the holidays – just you and him. He’s much less outright flirtatious than Barbatos but he builds up romantic/sexual tension as if he was a smut author in his down time: his hands lingering on yours when he asks you to pass him something, brushing your arm or shoulder when he works beside you, a gentle touch on your back as he passes behind you, his warm breath as he contently hums over your shoulder at your progress, the feeling of his fingers grazing your lips when he offers you half of a cookie fresh out of the oven (that he deliberately split in half so it would be small enough for your lips to touch his hand). He won’t even kiss you while you’re in the kitchen, but he’ll leave your heart pounding. You’ll have to blame the rising heat in your face on the oven, or just tell him how you really feel, and have him drag you back to his room for a few minutes.

Helps decorate and does the second most cooking for the party, but he probably also prepares the most drinks. Simeon could make a cup of hot cocoa that would turn a bad day on its head, and he’d offer it to you with such a warm smile that you couldn’t help but smile back.

Hangs back with Barbatos, Lucifer, and Raphael during the party, but he’ll happily join in whenever you or Luke insists. He doesn’t drink much until after Luke falls asleep, but he keeps a good hold on his senses.

I wouldn’t put it past him to fake being drunk to get you alone again. If not that, he’ll ask you to get some air with him – probably (and only) in front of the ones least likely to try to tag along (Lucifer, Beel, Barbatos, Raphael, Thirteen, and Mephisto – the latter two mostly because they’d feel awkward around Simeon for that long). However, despite going out to get air, you end up more breathless than you were before.

Gifts – giving: I could see Simeon offering to be your personal chef for a week. He’d get so much joy about being your little househusband for a bit. If he happens to have a novel in the works at the time, Simeon might also present you with a signed first copy of it, only for you to find that he dedicated the book to you. Another likely gift would be jewelry – but it would probably be something matching or a custom piece (or both). This might be kind of messed up and maybe even yandere territory, but I imagine Simeon would probably burn one of his feathers and get the ashes crafted into glass or cast into resin for a custom piece (but he wouldn’t admit to doing that).

Gifts – receiving: Anything. Give him flowers and enchant them to last for a while longer than they are supposed to. He’ll think of you every day that they live and dry or press them as they begin to die so he can keep the memory of your shared holiday fresh in his mind. As far as jewelry is concerned, pendant necklaces might be a good option – probably for the same reason as Beel: keeping you close to his heart. Simeon would also appreciate quality or engraved pens. Even if he gets flustered thinking about you when using it to write, he’ll also feel encouraged to keep writing, and that will outweigh the occasional distraction. Speaking of writing, if you write him a letter splaying your heart on the page for him, he’ll be over the moon. The man just wants constant reminders of your love.

Solomon

Tries to bake for you during the holidays and must be stopped; even if he gets cute and pouty, don’t let him anywhere near the kitchen – unless he promises to just stand there and look pretty. Although, I do believe he can actually make a decent drink without killing anyone, so as a last resort, you could probably let him make you a seasonal drink. He might even be allowed to make a few drinks for the party if he promises not to cook any food while he’s preparing them.

Solomon won’t get super clingy, but he will mope around and bury himself in his studies whenever you don’t spend time with him. He’s trying to let you have your fun and freedom, but he’s so lonely, and he wants your love and attention.

Invites you over for a cuddly movie date but specifically plays holiday themed horror movies – even the truly awful ones (have you ever watched The Gingerdead Man or Jack Frost? Ridiculous trash. But he’ll throw some good ones in there, too.) He thinks movie dates are perfect for winter nights, but you should expect to stay the night, too.

If he could get away with it, he would try to invite you to the human world – in part so you might be able to celebrate some of your usual traditions (if you have any) and in part so he can get you all to himself.

He’ll be pretty chill at the party – mostly hanging back. However, Asmo will inevitably pull him into some of the fun. (He might even be feeling enough holiday cheer to give Asmo that kiss he’s been begging for all night.) Solomon would add to the party by using his magic to create beautiful visual effects (like shining, iridescent snowflakes cascading down from the ceiling). He does it as a party trick, but he would also use it to distract the others so he can steal you away for a few minutes. If you feel like you’re missing out on his magic, he’ll promise to recreate it just for you.

This little shit would definitely leave a hickey somewhere visible when he gets you alone, like he’s marking his territory. He finds it amusing sending you back to the party and stirring up chaos as everyone tries to find the culprit. If you want to make it easy for them, mark him too.

Gifts – giving: He is so soft and overprotective that he would give you enchanted jewelry that has a protection charm on it or something you could use to summon him to your side whenever you want him, even if your D.D.D. dies or something. He might also give you part of a matching set so he could subtly claim your heart in front of everyone. Solomon might also teach you a spell or potion that he concocted himself as a sign of trust and to show you that he believes you’ve progressed significantly. (He can’t get over the way your face lights up when you learn something new and interesting – when he teaches you something new.) Solomon is an incorrigible flirt, so he might give you enchanted sex toys (something that could connect to his body or that feel just like him), but he might present it as a joke, unless . . .

Gifts – receiving: Solomon would appreciate things that would further his magic research: rare herbs and flowers, magical tools and materials, rare books, etc. It means so much that you would get him something so difficult to obtain because he might be able to use it in his studies. However, he might pout a bit and wish that you had told him so he could have gone with you to get it. It would have made for an excellent date. Similarly, taking him out on a date and showering him with affection would also be wonderful. He’s also a sucker for domestic things, so giving him your homemade food or sweets would melt him – just beware: he might try to cook for you in return. Finally, at your own risk, you could offer yourself. Now that would be a present he could play with for hours on end.

Thirteen

She wants to take you to every café she can think of and share all the adorable winter- and holiday-themed sweets with you. Thirteen would even bring you seasonal drinks or snacks because she just so happened to be waiting in line (and not at all because she wanted to see you smile).

Doesn’t decorate her cave or anything unless she can make a trap to do the decorating for her. Work smart, not hard. However, she does enjoy sight-seeing and looking at decorations that pop up throughout the Devildom with you. She would hold your hand and pull you towards interesting window displays, her eyes lighting up the whole time.

She’s the most likely to be forgotten about when everyone is party prepping, which annoys her to no end, but she’ll pretend like she doesn’t care. To be fair, part of her just wants to chill at home in her cave, so she would consider not even showing up if not for you. She doesn’t need to spend her holiday with idiots, a sham of a sorcerer, and an outnumbered amount of decent people who she’d have to compete with for your affection. At least that’s what she tells herself.

In truth, she has a lot of fun. She even brings a few traps to see what gullible fools she can toy with. No one is safe except Luke. He’s just too precious for her to do that. Thirteen will also join in on the games, determined to win and show off for you. She’ll enjoy sampling all the food, and she’ll be so sweet and bring you drinks and food throughout the night.

Does Demonus work on reapers? I imagine it doesn’t, which makes the night even more entertaining for her. She’ll make note of who can hold their liquor and what they’re all like when they get drunk or tipsy. If nothing else, it’s good blackmail material.

Proactive about her need for alone time with you and gets you alone pretty early on in the night. Like Solomon, she’ll leave her mark on you, but she has the decency to mark you somewhere more inconspicuous. (Although to be honest, she also has the lack of decency to mark up your thighs and spends half of her alone time with you on her knees.)

She will probably fold and give Asmo a kiss on the cheek. It’s a holiday after all. (But if she kissed him on the lips, I can just imagine him commenting on how she tastes like you. Sorry. Throw me in the trash.)

Gifts – giving: Thirteen would give you strange traps and gadgets she made herself. Although most of her traps are designed to prank people, she might actually decide to make you something more practical. (She could probably build a functioning cuckoo clock if she wanted). Thirteen might also surprise you with date reservations at a nice café – possibly one that’s outside of the city so she has an excuse to steal you for an entire day. Other than that, she would probably give you clothes, especially cozy sweaters, shirts, or cardigans that she will inevitably steal from you. She’s the most likely to give you your present in front of everyone.

Gifts – receiving: She would be content with strange gadgets you found. Thirteen could spend hours taking them apart, putting them back together, and figuring out how to replicate their actions. Sweets gift baskets are another good option, especially if you can bake and you fill them with homemade desserts. Thirteen would be happy with jewelry (primarily necklaces). She would adore those skull-shaped carved pearl necklaces. They suit her so well. Last but not least, give her yourself. Seriously, even a symbolic gesture, like couples’ items while you tell her, “I’m yours: my soul, my body, my heart. I’m all yours,” will have her heart pounding.

Raphael

He doesn’t have the emotional expression range to match the other angels’ joy, but a gentle smile will grace his lips when he finds you baking in the kitchen with Luke and Simeon.

If you want a date with him around the holidays, you’re probably going to have to ask. He just assumes you’re too busy for a date with all the party planning, so he doesn’t bother asking. He might stubble across you while he’s shopping and just tag along with you until you’re done with whatever you’re doing. He’ll even buy you a meal if it means he can keep you to himself for a while longer. A warm smile will find his face when he sees you enjoying your time out with him.

Raphael doesn’t decorate, but if someone asked, he would sew holiday-themed outfits for them. It would be fun for him, at least.

The wallflower whose vines are so tangled and cling to the wall so strongly that you can barely get him to join in on any activities. He mostly just leans back against the wall, sipping at his Demonus and observing the others. He might chat with a few of the tamer people or play a chill game of cards or chess.

He finds it easy to sneak you into some quiet hallway or empty room (he doesn’t even care if that room belongs to someone else) and make out with you. He probably drags you off somewhere because he got jealous after watching you enjoy yourself around the others, but he’ll claim he just got bored and wanted to mess around.

Pulls you closer than necessary when you spend time talking to him – especially in front of Diavolo or Lucifer. He does it by grabbing you by the thigh or waist.

Eventually drinks himself to sleep relatively late into the night. Falls asleep in a really weird, uncomfortable position (slumped over in a chair or couch, sitting on the floor with his back still against the wall, or using his arms as a pillow on a table).

Gifts – giving: Usually pretty bad at buying gifts, but he’ll give you nice, sewed items that he made for you – usually plushies or warm sweaters/outerwear. He likes making plushies for you because he knows you’ll look at it and hug it while thinking of him. When he can’t be with you, it’s a comfort to him to know that you’ll have the plushie. As for sweaters or outerwear, he thinks you look adorable in cozy clothes and layers (but he’ll never say that). Raphael never thought he would enjoy giving a gift as much as he does when your face lights up and you thank him for your present. He stifles his cuteness aggression so hard, but he desperately wants to pull you into his arms and bite you. Also, he probably blesses whatever he gives you.

Gifts – receiving: Even though someone told him that giving gifts was a common tradition during the holidays, he didn’t expect you to get a present for him. He would love fabric and sewing supplies. He finds it sweet that you’re supporting one of his favorite hobbies. It lets him know that you care. Raphael would also be pleased with gift baskets containing strong-flavored foods: super spicy hot sauces, extra sour candy, bitter snacks, Solomon’s cooking, etc. Lastly, he would be pleasantly surprised if you set up dates as a gift.

Mephistopheles

Only cares about the holidays because Diavolo seems so into it. It at least makes for some interesting newspaper content, though. Likely the second to last to get an invitation to the party – but it comes from Diavolo, so he doesn’t mind too much. He isn’t thrilled to be spending a holiday around Lucifer and his brothers, but if it means spending the holiday with you, he’ll come along. Once Satan invites him to join in on his and Belphie’s prank plans for Lucifer, he starts to look forward to the party a bit more. He’d be thrilled to see Lucifer embarrass himself in front of you and Lord Diavolo.

Uses his stalker journalistic skills to find you on days off and escort you around town while you go about your business. He might show you around if he has any insight into seasonal attractions that he thinks you’ll enjoy. Mephisto, then, invites you for a meal or a drink or back to his place. He’s such a gentleman when he wants to be, and he’ll help you carry things home or get you a ride.

He brings a few rather expensive bottles of Demonus with him, and almost gets kissed by Asmo for it, too. Mammon will throw an arm around him and thank him in a way that somehow annoys Mephisto more than if Mammon hadn’t said anything at all.

He hopes that at least one of the pranks he helped Satan and Belphie with will work, so he keeps an eye on Lucifer throughout the party, anticipating his humiliation. However, his eyes still seem to be trained on you. He follows your every move. Even when he’s talking to Diavolo, he still finds a second to follow your figure.

The only ballsy mf who steals you away multiple times throughout the night. It’s partly because he’s jealous, and partly because he wants you too much to hold back (and it scratches his exhibitionist kink), but he’s cautious until after he’s certain that Luke has gone to bed. After that, all bets are off. He’ll be all over you just behind a pillar in an open hallway – with barely enough room to obscure you and some of his body.

Gifts – giving: Sorry to be back on this foot fetish Mephisto HC but Shoes. Whatever style you’re into, he will get the perfect shoe designed for you. I’m talking more than one person is involved with the design and creation of these shoes. They will be custom made. You will not be able to find them in even the fanciest shops. They’ll be incredibly comfortable, too. If you are able to walk comfortably, they’ll probably include at least a slight platform or heel. He will even drop to one knee and offer to put them on for you. Additionally, he would make some kind of affectionate gesture while he’s down there (probably grabs your calf and brings his lips to your shin or thigh – depending on your height, mostly). Perhaps needless to say, he’s on the “gives gifts in private” team. Mephisto might also present you with jewelry: necklaces, bracelets, and for obvious reasons anklets. No surprises here, but it’s for similar possessive reasons as some of the others.

Gifts – receiving: If you can procure a bottle of Demonus that this man has not managed to get his hands on, not only will he be impressed, but he’ll be so delighted that he will kiss you on the spot and want to try the bottle with you right away. Other than that, you could flip the script and buy him shoes. He’ll be a mess, his cheeks hot and flushed, as you help him slip them on. You could also get him a custom cane. Mephisto probably wouldn’t use it daily though. Adorably, he would designate it for special occasions just because you gave it to him. I’m half joking, but collar him, please. Just imagine his precious face when you tighten the collar around his neck and pet his head and maybe attach the collar to a leash. “Are you trying to claim me?” “You mean I don’t already own you, Mephisto?” “. . . is the door locked?”

A/N: Congratulations on making it all the way down here. Hi. Anyway. I'm going to extend requests for the 1 year flash request event (more details here) for at least another day since I only have 3 requests so far, which is a bit of a bummer, but I'll still be starting with SFW stuff tomorrow. Please feel free to join if you feel like getting a short request. (Also, for real, the past few months/years? have been just bad globally, so I figure it might be nice to write some stuff that might make people feel something good for a while.)

[fractualized]

Knight Terrors: The Joker #2 is out and I have never had so much to chew on in my life. I'm trying to moderate my enthusiasm so I stop exceeding the image limit making these posts, but there is so much going on!!

(spoilers ahead as usual, along with violence, gore, and death as usual)

At the end of last issue, we were left with the mystery of what exactly is up with supposedly dead Batman's reappearance, but this issue answers that pretty quickly:

This is at first presented as Joker's dream-within-a-dream, but later we get confirmation that Joker is sleepwalking as Batman. Sleep-vigilante-ing. Sleepigilanting. He's a Batman Who Jokes!

With Joker awake, we find that some time has passed, and now Joker is married to Lena, the wife of Johann to whom Joker showed some kindness back at the real-world hospital before she died. They also have a child, Albert, who was also a dying patient at the hospital.

The poster is for an actual movie I haven't seen, but it's about a scientist who is betrayed by a wealthy patron who takes credit for his work, and then becomes a beleaguered clown who has a heroic and tragic end. Oh, Joker likes a movie about a clown who was betrayed by a rich guy? You don't say!

At first I was amused by the onesie, but then the story returns to Joker at work and we see that he's no longer wearing a plain gray suit. He's in his usual Joker colors, perhaps indicating that he's found comfort in this humdrum life? This corporate dullness is his identity now? Oh dear.

Also he's interviewing Mr. Freeze.

Joker asks why Freeze wants to work at WE, and Freeze says he wants to lay low now that Batman is killing people. Like the last issue, Joker insists that Batman is dead, and he also acts like his memory of his old life is fading.

Fair point, Victor, but I don't think you're getting the job.

Is Poison Ivy Joker's secretary?? Well, no one would look for her there, I'm sure. So long as she resists the temptation to poison her boss.

Cut to night: Joker starts sleepwalking.

Oh my god, Joker has his own dour bat-monologue. Batman's truest fanboy.

This brings me back to Joker War, when Joker told Bruce that Gotham City didn't want to be saved. But here Joker is, protecting her dead body for/as Batman anyway.

Gremlin Batman, being up front about his MO.

These clowns are with Gaggy, who sadly cannot get Joker to remember him but does receive some TMI.

Poor Gaggy. ANYWAY, we cut to a corporate baseball game between Wayne Enterprises and freaking LexCorp. In dreamworld, Jimmy Olsen works for Lex, at least until he jokes about how with Joker's sports ability, he should be called Batman.

omg AND BRUCE IS THERE

Damn right Joker is your man, Bruce!

Talk. Dinner. At Bruce's place. IT'S A DATE. So much packed into an instant classic batjokes panel.

When Joker arrives at the manor, Insomnia is there, and… like… there is so much going on.

- Joker seems to recognize Insomnia as his boss, but then instantly accepts that he's now Winchester, Bruce's butler. (Not sure if Joker noticed Insomnia was also the umpire at the game.)

- Insomnia tries to say that Bruce was called away, in a classic Batman bit, and when Bruce shows his face, Insomnia seems perturbed. He doesn't want Joker to talk to Bruce.

- YEAH BRUCE IS WEARING THE KILLING JOKE OUTFIT. The tourist costume that Joker wore when he shot Barbara. Alright. Okay. Alright. Okay.

There is so much going on!!

You may have noticed that Bruce called Insomnia Windham, not Winchester, and he misnames him again here, as Winthrop. Joker regularly does this to people, particularly henchmen.

Also, Joker earlier told Bruce that he can't eat seafood, but that's all that's being served. lol

Here's an extended version of a gag from Batman 1989, and also Joker noting that his sense of humor has resulted in lawsuits (but not in him being fired, of course). There's an implication that Joker's been muting his personality at work, adding a layer to all the jokes he unleashes when he sleepfights as Batman.

The next bit just calls for the full page.

- Bruce saying the world needs a little craziness, that the city needs Batman, so that life makes sense, so that it isn't boring.

- Insomnia trying to stop the conversation twice, and shut down by Bruce twice (again with the wrong names).

- Bruce saying he wouldn't be the same man if Batman died and indicating he knows Joker feels the same way. Batman is integral to both of their identities. Just laying it out there that Joker is acting as Batman so the city doesn't lose something irreplaceable.

- Bruce saying, jk, Batman is fine and whatever is wrong with Johann, Bruce must have dreamt it up. He's telling Joker what's going on in reality, that Batman is fine and this is a dream!

- Insomnia blames Bruce's rambling on a seafood allergy, but he's applying a trait of Joker's to Bruce. He's just strengthening the connection.

And maybe the allergy is supposed to be real for Bruce too, and not a throwaway, and he's eating like a ravenous animal, because he doesn't care, because like Joker he dives into danger even when it's idiocy. And because Bruce basically is Joker. Joker sees them reflected in each other, but also Joker's subconscious is telling him all this to bring himself back to reality. The TKJ outfit on Bruce of all people is glaring signal meant to shake Joker out of it. It's just wrong. But it's also that Joker is hearing the truth from someone he really knows. Yes, it's not the Bat who laughed with him in the rain, at the futility of trusting each other, but the face behind the mask is the man who wanted to help him anyway. Maybe Joker does want to trust him deep down I KNOW I'M RAMBLING THIS IS A LOT

And it all gets into Joker's conscious thoughts too. He's, uh, distracted at work the next day.

Hey, Freeze got hired after all!

HR can't have you being silly, Joker. You start killing people at work again like a good Batman nemesis, and then you might take the dream in a different direction! Insomnia doesn't want that, and he tries telling Joker that Bruce is just messing with him.

And Joker intends to clear his head, but when he goes home he discovers his secret corpse is no longer well-kept.

Batman's corpse, face down and ass up. What an image!

Joker's old life will not be suppressed!

As Joker loses it, he's contradicting himself. All this time he's been saying Batman is dead, but now it's "he tried to make me think that Batman might have died." Either his thoughts are scrambled up, or "he" actually refers to Insomnia, or maybe both. But regardless, now Joker needs to prove that Batman is alive. If Batman is alive, then the boring little life Joker has made for himself makes total sense. Batman has always made Joker's life make sense.

Joker resurrects his old skills and creates a plan to catch the Batman, but the logic behind it is that Batman is uncatchable. So if Joker's plan fails, then the Batman running around is real, and everything is okay. Then of course Joker takes a "nap" so we can see this plan come to fruition.

It starts with a gaggle of violent clowns attacking a couple on the street. "Batman," with no memory of this plan, appears to stop them, and is overwhelmed.

And one of the clowns releases toxin.

The Batman was caught, and he's exposed. He's not real. He's Joker, and he's dying. Batman is dead, and everyone needs him. Joker needs him.

And it's with this revelation that Joker wakes– and we get confirmation that it's shot-in-the-head, sewer rat Joker who is having the dream! This has to be confirmation that he's the real one, doesn't it? Right?? It's possible the other Joker had his own dream… But I have a soft spot for the underdog. I hope he's our guy and Mr. Waffles defects to his side. Then everything will be right as rain!

Speaking of, Joker does seem to shake the dream off pretty well. For now, anyway.

I wasn't sure how to interpret this at first, but I figure it's just that Joker doesn't care too much for these friends, and having weird dreams about Batsy is more appealing even if they're nightmares about losing him and becoming a defanged normie.

Still, I expect this nightmare will bolster this Joker, who started out lost and despondent, in his efforts to get rid of his doppelganger and re-establish himself as Batman's one-and-only nemesis. Maybe bring some flowers to smooth over the divorce thing, apologize for trying to cut his face off…

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Kicho's Main Story Chapter 6 Part 1

These translations are not intended as a replacement for the game. Please support cybird by buying their stories. JP SPOILERS under the cut. Expect mistakes.

Mai: "So, this Kicho who is here now is..."

Sasuke: "I don't know all the details, but I guess he was affected by the distortion of history."

Sasuke: "That means he was originally a different person who never existed."

Mai: "Isn't that impossible?"

(How can one person's existence change like that?)

Sasuke: "I can't say it's impossible. There's always the unexpected."

Sasuke: "Have you noticed anything unusual around you since the wormhole stopped appearing?"

Mai: "Unusual?"

Mai: “Oh, after the attack on Azuchi Castle, the book I brought from the future turned weird.”

Mai: “It was a travel guide, which had some historical info in it, but right now, most of the pages are blank.”

Mai: “It was as if the future had disappeared.”

Sasuke: “I see. That would explain why I can no longer observe wormholes.”

Sasuke: “Then, to return to our original time, we first have to deal with the distortion.”

Knock, knock.

Mai: "-----!"

Subordinate's voice: "Have you finished carrying the package?"

Sasuke: "Ah, yes. Safely."

Subordinate's voice: "I see. Then I'll walk you to the door."

(Looks like he's on the lookout.)

When I blinked at him, Sasuke immediately understood and replied cheerfully while quickly writing something on a piece of paper he had taken out of his pocket.

Sasuke: "Thank you very much."

Sasuke: "Well then, miss, I'm leaving. I look forward to working with you again."

Mai: "Yes, it's my pleasure."

I accepted the note he laid on the table, and just as I crumpled it up to hide it in my hand, the door opened.

Kicho's subordinate: "This way, please."

Sasuke: "Yes."

I looked over at Sasuke, resisting the urge to wave my hand.

After confirming the two had left, I gently unfolded the crumpled-up paper.

"Anyway, there may be some serious things ahead. I'll come back to you again. Until then, please take care."

(Serious things, huh?)

(I finally have a chance to get in touch with Mitsuhide, thanks to Sasuke, but there are more mysteries to solve.)

That rainy night, I finally felt grounded, and my vague sense of self took shape when Kicho told me I should just live as me no matter what.

(Is there anything in this world that didn't exist originally?)

(If so, when everything goes back to the way it was, will it be as if it never existed again?)

Kicho: "That's all for today."

Mai: "Okay.”

Kicho: "............"

Mai: "What is it?"

Kicho: "That's what I want to ask. What happened while I was away?"

Mai: "Eh, is something wrong with me?"

Kicho: "You have dark circles under your eyes. Are you having trouble sleeping?"

(As expected, he's sharp as a tack.)

Mai: "My sewing tools and fabrics arrived the other day, and I got caught up in making clothes."

Mai: "I know staying up late is not good, so I'll be careful."

Kicho: "Yeah, it's not worth it if you hurt yourself. It's best to do it in moderation."

(To be honest, I haven't even come up with a design yet because I don't know what to make.)

(I can't talk to him about it, hence the lie.) 

For the past few days since my encounter with Sasuke, I couldn't stop thinking about what I had heard.

I found myself worrying about his every move more than ever and ended up thinking about a lot of things at night.

(In the first place, if there's a historical distortion involved, he may not even be aware of it, and it's probably none of his business.)

Kicho: "By the way, I have one more thing to tell you."

Kicho: "We're going to have a banquet here at the trading post in two weeks to get acquainted with our business partners."

Kicho: "No, I think it would be better to call it a party."

Mai: "I could kind of imagine it. Can I help with the preparations?"

Kicho: "Yeah. You're quick to catch on."

He nodded briefly and took a few papers from his desk drawer.

Kicho: "Here is a summary of what I need."

Kicho: "We don't have much time, so we'll have to split up the work with the others."

Mai: "What about the business meetings?"

Kicho: "I'll head to one tomorrow alone."

(Alone.)

Mai: "Then, we'll be working separately for a while."

Kicho: "Also, I'm not going to have my men watch you 24/7."

Kicho: "As long as you don't make any suspicious movements, there is no need to be so worried."

Mai: "What?"

Kicho: "You looked bothered just now. I just thought you were worried about the surveillance."

Mai: "No, it's not that一Oh."

I involuntarily turned around to escape his gaze.

(Was I feeling lonely just now?)

(Nah, there's no way. Maybe he's right. Maybe I was just worried about the surveillance.)

Kicho: "Mai, what's wrong?"

Mai: "N-Nothing!"

Mai: "More importantly, um, I'm gonna get ready for today's work. Excuse me!"

Without making eye contact, I left the room in a hurry.

Mai: "*sigh* That surprised me."

I put my hand on my forehead and took a deep breath.

(Anyway, let's go to work.)

Then, without seeing Kicho much, I began to spend my days running around preparing for the event.

Mai: "Is that the guy?"

Kicho's subordinate: "Probably. It's easy to tell when he's dressed like that."

Mai: "Right. I'll go talk to him then."

(I still get nervous when I'm with other people.)

(Until now, I've mostly been working with Kicho.)

I came to the port today with his men to get the necessary supplies for the party.

Hiding my tense appearance, I hurried over to our business partner, wearing a tall hat.

Mai: "Hello. Um, here, please."

When I handed him the letter that Kicho had written for him, he smiled, nodded, then beckoned me to come over and walk on.

Mai: "They have some stuff over there. Let's go."

Kicho's subordinate: "Yeah."

(I can't believe he's already made all the arrangements.)

(We worked every day and night, so when did he start preparing all this?)

Thinking of him, I looked at the man walking ahead of me.

(Still, it's fun to see all these fancy-looking clothes.)

(I bet the people attending the party will wear something nice, too.)

(I wonder what Kicho plans to wear.)

Mai: "Right!"

Kicho's subordinate: "Is something wrong?"

Mai: "Yes, I've finally decided on the design."

Kicho's subordinate: "Design?"

Mai: "Um, I mean the style of the kimono."

Mai: "Hey, can I ask you for some help?"

That night.

Kicho: "What's the matter with you guys? Why are you in a hurry?"

Kicho's subordinate 1: "Before you return to your room, can I have a moment of your time?"

Kicho's subordinate 2: "It'll only take a moment, so please remain standing."

Kicho's subordinate 3: "Excuse me!"

Kicho: "Hey, what are you suddenly wrapping around me?"

Kicho's subordinate 4: "Don't worry about it. We'll remove it as soon as we finish the measurement."

Kicho's subordinate 2: "This one is complete. How are the others?"

Kicho's subordinate 3: "Done."

Kicho's subordinate 1: "This one is also complete."

Kicho's subordinate 4: "Then I'll take them and report back to Lady Mai tomorrow."

Kicho: "Mai?"

Kicho's subordinate 2: "Thank you for your cooperation, Lord Kicho. We apologize for troubling you."

Kicho’s subordinate 2: "Well, please excuse us!"

Kicho: "Hey, you guys...!"

Before Kicho could call out to them, his subordinates quickly left.

Kicho, who remained there alone, looked at the door of Mai's room at the end of the hallway with a look of dismay.

Kicho: "I didn't expect you to order around my men in just a few days."

Kicho: "What the hell are you up to?"

One week later.

(Yup, it looks pretty good!)

Comparing the design with the finished material, I pulled my sewing kit next to me.

(All I have to do is sew the rest and make adjustments as I go along.)

(I really appreciated their cooperation.)

His men were willing to help me when I asked them to get his measurements for the clothes.

(They weren't as scary as I thought they would be when I talked to them.)

(Just like Kicho.)

(I haven't seen him for about a week, but I hope he's okay.)

I imagined his face and felt a little sad.

(Anyway, I'll do whatever I can to finish this before the party next week.)

(If I do it on my breaks, I'm sure I can finish it.)

Mai: "Crap, it's this late already!?"

Remembering my promise, I rushed out of the room.

Mai: "Thank you for your cooperation. I really appreciate it."

Merchant: "No, this is nothing. Merchants help each other from time to time."

(He's so kind.)

Today, I visited a merchant we met along the way to borrow some supplies for the party at a warehouse near the main street.

Merchant: "The tablewares are on that shelf, and the vases and picture scrolls are over there."

Merchant: "Next is一sorry, there are too many things to keep track of."

Merchant: "The items stored in this warehouse are not particularly meant to be used, so please take them as you like."

Mai: "Okay, thank you very much."

Merchant: "By the way, I heard that Lord Kicho is coming today."

Mai: "He's busy right now, so I'm taking his place."

Merchant: "I see. He really trust you."

Mai: "I don't know about that."

(Sometimes it's because they don't trust you that they keep you around.)

(But I don't think I should say that here.)

Mai: "Don't worry. Even if he's not here, I'll do my best. Huh?"

Before I knew it, something cold touched my neck, and as soon as I looked at it, I saw him holding something shiny.

(A knife!?)

Mai: "Why?"

Merchant: "Sorry, but a businessman needs information to make a profit."

Merchant: "See, I told you before. We need to help each other from time to time."

Mai: "I don't have any information. I'm only一"

Merchant: "Shut up!"

Mai: "............"

I could feel the coldness of the knife as he put more force into it.

(What should I do? Kicho's subordinates aren't here yet.)

The man had a scary glint in his eyes, as if he believed that what he was doing was the right thing, with not the slightest hint of hesitation.

(I don't think I can buy some time.)

(I have to handle this myself!)

I quickly stepped back, put my hand on the shelf, and knocked it down forcefully.

Merchant: "Whoa!"

Crash!

Mai: "I'm Kicho's secretary, but no matter what I am, I will never do what you say!"

Merchant: "Guh, you cheeky little shit! Hey, you guys, come out here right now!"

(Are there more people outside!?)

(Then I can't escape.)

???: "Yeah, I was going to come out even if you didn't tell me."

Mai: "Huh?"

Kicho: "It looks like you gave my secretary a great deal of hospitality."

Mai: "Kicho!"

A graceful silhouette holding a pistol emerged against the light shining into the warehouse.

Kicho: "Your buddies outside are in no condition to be of any use anymore."

Kicho: "Get that girl over here now, or I'll shoot you."

Merchant: "Damn it!"

Mai: “Ah!”

He pushed me hard in the back, and before I had time to catch myself, a blinding pain resonated through my entire body as I fell to the ground.

Mai: “Ugh...”

Kicho: “Mai!”

Kicho immediately ran to me while the man rushed to the doorway, smiling wryly at us.

(Don’t tell me he’s...)

Merchant: “Later, losers!”

Mai: “W-Wait!”

I frantically shouted, only to be answered by the sound of a door being closed, followed by the sound of a lock.

(What to do? We’re trapped.)

Mai: “Sorry for causing you trouble.”

Kicho: “............”

Mai: “Kicho?”

I looked up with my hands on the floor and saw him breathing shallow breaths, and his face was so pale.

Mai: “Um, are you okay?”

Kicho: “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Mai: “Yeah, you’re not okay.”

He immediately turned away from me, but I could see a bit of sweat trickling down his forehead.

Mai: "Are you hurt somewhere? Or are you feeling sick from all the work you've been doing the past few days?"

Kicho: "No, none of the above. It's because of this situation."

Kicho: "I have to get out of here as soon as possible."

Kicho frowned as he fell on one knee, clutching his collar.

(His hands are shaking, and his breathing is becoming more frantic.)

(Is there anything I can do?)

Mai: "You stay put. I'll find a way out."

I got up and walked around the warehouse, relying on the little light I could see.

However, there was no place to go in or out except for the closed door.

I tried opening it, but it was locked from the outside.

(I don't think I can do anything about it from here. At least, if someone passes by一no, what if it's a guard?)

Mai: "Kicho, we need to find a way to get out of here."

Just as I turned around, his shadow slid out of its position.

Kicho: ".............."

Mai: "Kicho!"

I ran to him and supported his body as he fell to the floor.

Just listening to the sound of his weak breathing made me feel suffocated.

(What's wrong with him?)

Kicho: "...ive…"

Mai: "What?"

Kicho: "I want to live."

Previous Part╏Masterlist╏Premium

[theseventrumpets]

A loud, trumpeting sound goes across the entire Plain. All cats are overwhelmed for a moment by an ethereal sense, something that they can't control and can't find the source of. The sky pulses white for a moment, but no one can tell if it was a hallucination or not.

♪ ♫ The Seven Trumpets Sound,   ♫ ♪

The cats of the Plain have experienced a lot of loss recently. With the Red suffering an attack from one of their own, the Pale discovering a monster in its depths, an illness finding its way into Black, and the White having its final battle with the raccoons, things don't seem to be going too well for them.

Trouble stirs, as Calandivaspade heightens tensions with the Red Face, Volcanicdiamond, bringing the two decks ever closer to war, while Turnclub suffers from losses after a war with raccoons, and his only ally, Aegisheart, is dealing with a mysterious disease with no cure. How will the canaries escape the coal mine when there's no exit in sight?

►► The First Trumpet Sings. ◄◄

This RP has been running for 10 months now, and after 3, I finally make the announcement that we are OFFICIALLY IN THE 1ST ARC!!!! THIS IS SO EXCITING!!! I have never run anything on this big of a scale before, and I hope so desperately to create a memorable experience for everyone involved. All of my members and moderators mean SO SO MUCH TO ME. It is truly amazing to me to see your creativity shine, and all the wonderful characters you've made so far. I'd love to see even more as time goes on!!

Now, of course, there's still room for those uninitiated. The current plot needs to be updated on the website, but if you hop in the server, you can get some pretty decent rundowns from fellow members if you're interested! You must be 18+ to join, there's no applications, and there's little to no restriction on the kinds of cat characters you can make in here.

If you’re interested, read below the cut to see more in-depth details about the server and story, or check out the links right below to get started on reading the lore, about the Decks, and so on. To join the RP, just go ahead and click the link to the Discord server! After you’re in, wait some time for our mods to check you over, and give you permission to join. I would love to see a batch of new members and potential helpers/mods in this first arc, so please please PLEASE take a looksie at my story, and I hope to see you there!!

♪♫♪► WEBSITE ► RULES ► SEND AN ASK ► DISCORD LINK ♪♫♪► SERVER ADOPTS ► ALLEGIANCES ► LORE ON TUMBLR

"We picture seven swinging branches, with seven swinging bodies--seven singing trumpets, with seven seals to come! We shall overcome!"

Here’s what you can expect from this RP:

► Oh god, there’s elemental magic built into the cats. ► It all takes place entirely in a world of my own, so there’s a shitton of worldbuilding! ► Paranormal and supernatural activities, including Gods and ghosts from the grave! ► Non-feline animals are allowed in limited quantities! ► There’s no Starclan, just Ad Infinitum and it’s subsections! ► A completely overhauled and hand-crafted Warriors ranking system! ► A mostly liquid time based RP, both in events, roleplay, and aging! ► Morally dubious and evil characters allowed in certain quantities! ► Neurodivergent/mentally ill/physically disabled characters are allowed with no restrictions or paywalls! ► Currency system to add rare traits to your cats, AND MORE! ► Occasionally fun games and events to earn you points for currency, as well as to bond with your fellow server-mates!

The Seven Trumpets is an 18+ horror Warrior Cats Roleplay based around the concept of a biblical apocalypse, inspired by the album 'Until The Horror Goes' by the band John Congleton & The Nighty Nite. It uses a lot of horror themes, though mostly focuses on psychological horror and the idea of unreality and fear, and how those can drive characters to survive, or cease surviving entirely.

This RP will focus on some darker topics, and gore will be featured from time to time. This RP may not be for the faint of heart, and I encourage you to make sure you can handle psychological horror before coming into this server! Although this RP is horror themed, it will not be purely angst and hardship. As the goal of the story is to stop an apocalypse, there will be themes of hope and light coming through the darkness, and characters finding the strength to keep pushing on even when everything is against them. Don't expect this server to be purely dark with no happiness, as that just wouldn't be fun for anyone to constantly deal with anxiety and pain and suffering all the time!

[entryn17]

heyy can I know your thoughts on in stars and time? I like your thoughts on things

ahh, yes, of course!!! spoilers ahead for anyone else that might be reading :3

genuinely saying this - i think it's one of the best games i've had the pleasure of playing recently! it really does the idea of "character stuck in a time loop" justice. one of the things i'm particularly glad about is the pacing especially considering this all technically takes place in like, two locations for (technically) two days for the entire 20-30h of playtime. the dev did phenomenal writing it! the characters are all solid, the worldbuilding is good, the red herrings it pulls also, with the wish/time craft thing. i'm also really, REALLY glad it left some things unanswered at the end.

to elaborate on the pacing, it DOES feel like siffrin is slowly, surely losing their mind throughout all this. i don't think it happens neither too quick nor too slowly and i was immersed throughout! i like how different items have different dialogue and usage depending on when you interact with them at certain points throughout the story, and i thought all of the horror segments were truly unsettling!!

siffrin was a really compelling character and both them and odile really spoke to me because of the way the dev handled their relationships with their respective heritage. i burst into tears when i was playing odile's friendship quest; i hadn't really seen all of those particular thoughts and fears expressed for a while before playing ISAT, and so seeing them written out like this just felt like.. reopening a wound you thought had healed but was actually still pretty raw? and siffrin's desperation to connect, to learn more about where they came from, the hurt that is left unaddressed for so long that it blooms into resentment was just so poignant. odile and siffrin are really, really important to me because of this.

i really love the different small things that get recontextualized when you learn more. like the king asking if siffrin remembers, which i had assumed was about the loops in the beginning! and loop's "you may refer to us with the royal We" and such!! and the missing island too! reached the part where it had been mentioned for the first time in the library and then the game went on for a while to the point i was starting to think "isn't anyone gonna bring up the island that got erased from everyone's memories" and then THEY BROUGHT IT UP. AND IT WAS SO PAINFUL!!! the segment where siffrin tries to say the name got to me so bad!!!

also the little details i'll always die for the little details. the changes in flavor text, menu portraits, inner monologue. it's tiny thing after tiny thing until you pause, look back and realize that you don't even recognize siffrin anymore! like god!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm genuinely really curious how the dev managed to keep track of everything! how many switches and variables they must've used, how many event pages there are, etc.

ANOTHER THING. i think it's so fun how it does a subversion on RPGs as a whole. it's still that at it's core, of course! i'll always enjoy turn-based combat and it freshens it up with the rock/paper/scissors crafts system, and it's incredibly story rich and character driven but it's like.. i guess the RPG conventions that it plays with that i really, really enjoyed. like the whole "mysterious protagonist gathers a party and then goes on a journey to fight the big bad boss" (the big bad is even called The King!!!) except the majority of the journey leading up to that boss already IS over when we start, characters are leveled up and have gathered plenty of usable skills, and they've already have formed dynamics between each other! but we get to learn more about them through the loops! and at some point the king isn't even a threat anymore!!! i REALLY loved that when i realized how unimportant he'd become in the grand scheme of things!!! it was so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but yeah in conclusion i feel only moderately strongly about this game. LOL

[apollosprings]

Attention Apollo Springs guests, this is your Director speaking.

I have been given permission to disclose the details of your next mission. As we had discussed prior, we are sending out the Elites of Apollo Springs to grab one sword piece, with Jupiter and Saturn heading out simultaneously to grab the other one that we had detected prior. We aren't sure if there are other pieces missing or what may lie ahead, but we know that these pieces must be retrieved at all costs.

You must all travel to the moon of Vetigrav. According to our intelligence, a group of cultists had migrated up unto the moon to enjoy solitary confinement away from their home planet. Although the details from there out are slim, there has not been active communications between the planet nor NASA for a very long time. This means we know very little of what lies ahead, other than that we are expecting you all to find and retrieve the piece. The planet itself could be abandoned or the cult has cast aside all outdoor communications. If the latter is true, then you must all infiltrate the cult and play a part, as always.

Our sensors detect that this moon belongs to an aquatic planet...

If everything goes accordingly and we retrieve the remaining detected pieces, we will then begin to look into reforging the sword. As of right now, details are foggy and it is taking every single researcher that we have working overtime to locate the secret lying behind such a mysterious blade. But to know that it slays even Gods would grant us an advantage that I cannot simply ignore.

As such, I would ask that you all treat this mission with the UTMOST of importance. I am sending you all tickets to your COZMOs for you to show at the spaceport terminal and will have you depart this weekend. Come prepared for the worst and may the stars watch over you.

-Director Solstice.

Moderator's Note:

This event is going to be our spooky-themed event, DMed by our lovely Mod Marie, so expect some spooky elements! There won't be any combat, more or less playing a big social game and discovering the truth behind this mysterious and wicked cult. That said, this isn't the first time we've run into a cult. In fact, it's like a reoccurring theme. Hmmm...

This event will start on Sunday, October 20st and conclude on Monday, October 21st.

Nevertheless, come with your thinking caps on and good luck!

[lemliv]

SUGAR RUSH AU CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS

this is. Very long.

Ranboo (Aka Ranboo Le Quorish)

Candy: Licorice and Taffy !

Powermove: String-Shot

A speed boost that starts fast and gets gradually slower - two licorice poles shoot up from the ground while a string of taffy wraps around them, acting as a sling shot to propel him forward!

Racer type: ??

Go to phrase:

Description:

Ranboo is a racer- at least he thinks he is. Sure he’s never completed a race and glitches the ones he is in but he can’t escape the nagging feeling that he belongs on the race track. That things will be better once he proves that he can finish a race.

For now, however, he’s learning how to be content with his foggy memory, constant glitched state, and watching from the side lines. It’s all he can do after all.

Tubbo (aka Toby Jollypop Jr)

Candy: Green apple Jolly Ranchers and Jaw Breakers

Powermove: Jolly Rollers

A protective shield that forms around Tubbo’s Kart to temporarily make him invincible and causes other players to bounce off

Racer type: Tank

can take a lot of damage at the expense of speed

Go to phrase(s): “Let’s break some jaws!” / “Sugar!”

Description:

Tubbo has a good life. He places well in races, he has a best friend, a nice house, really anything a video game character can ask for. But he can’t shake the feeling of something being wrong. And all signs point to the figure who disappears mid race after messing something up.

With enough determination, and some would argue carelessness, he is determined to figure out who the glitch really is. And more importantly, he’s determined to help him.

Tommy (Aka Tommy Sowers)

Candy: Sour Patch Kids

Powermove: Sour-Sweet-Swift

A basic speedboost! He maintains a higher speed for a short amount of time - its extended the further behind he is

Racer Type: Starter Racer

A type exclusive to Tommy. It makes him available on easy mode at all times (booting out the 9th spot if not on the roster already) Overall he’s a very well rounded but middle ground racer who is assisted by who he races with

Go to phrase(s): “Patch up your karts and let’s get sour!” / “Spice!”

Description:

Tommy is a racer in every meaning of the word. He likes competition, he’s loud and energetic, and he always seems to be going. Tommy loves his life and doesn’t get why others wouldn’t. He gets along with everyone, and wouldn’t mind if everything stayed the same.

Wilbur (aka Wilbur Cin O’Spice)

Candy: Cinnamon Discs

Powermove: Cinnamon and Spice

Wilbur throws up a cloud of spices temporarily blinding nearby racers

Racer type: Skill required

A moderate to eh racer when not properly used, but an amazing one to a devoted player. Has great handling, the kart flows through shortcuts easily, and power move is useful when applied right

Go to phrase: “Let’s spice things up!”

Description:

Wilbur is analytical, if you ask him he was simply coded that way. Always trying to find the best route and path, and figuring out solutions. It’s what he’s known for! So when Phil retired unexpectedly, giving no answers nor reason, Wilbur has determined that it’s now his job to find out why. More importantly, to get him back.

Techno(blade)

Candy: strawberry bon-bon (strawberry granny-candy)

Powermove: Straw-brawl

Temporarily gains more spikes on his kart, making him harder to hit and causing more damage to others

Racer type: Tank

can take a lot of damage at the expense of speed

Go to phrase: less lines - more so lots of noises like HEH when he gets hit and laughter when he hits others

Description:

Techno loves a good challenge, and as of recently races have been lacking. He doesn’t find the same enjoyment that he used to back before Phil stopped racing. So instead, he focuses on studying. Namely other games, but really anything he can study will do. He claims he’s read countless books from around the arcade, and will gladly give the information out if asked.

Phil

Candy: Green Peppermint Candy Canes

Powermove: ?

Racer type: ?

Go to phrase: ?

Description:

Phil used to be a racer. Arguably the best racer in the game prior to his retirement. After disappearing mid race, and not coming back until a week later he made a simple announcement. He would be stepping down as the leader of the racers and wouldn’t be racing for an undisclosed amount of time. Anytime anyone begged for the whys or whats, his lips were sealed, and still are.

Dream

Candy: Toxic Waste and Juicy Drop Pops

Powermove: Toxic Sludge

His kart lets out a liquid that causes racers behind him to slow down, it disappears after a short amount of time

Racer type: Speedy

Fastest karts at the expense of less handling and can't take a lot of punches

Dream has the fastest kart

Go to phrase(s): “Oh come on now- Smile!” / “Some people just can’t handle their sour candy”

Description:

Dream is the new leader of the Sugar Rush racers. When Phil disappeared he noticed how disorganized everything became and jumped to fix it, figuratively keeping the game running during hours. When Phil returned and didn’t take back the position, no one had any opposition to him staying. Dream runs the game democratically, seeing himself as someone to enforce rules rather than solely make them, and he tries his best to make sure everything is fun and perfect for the racers.

Sapnap

Candy: Red Hots

Powermove: Too Red-Hot to Handle

A speedboost that involves flames bursting out of Sapnap’s exhausts speeding him up until they burn out and he slows down quickly

Racer type: Well-rounded

Doesn’t have a particular strength or weakness - just well rounded!

Go to phrase(s): “BOOM BABY!” / “If you can’t handle the heat - get off the track!”

Description:

One of Dream’s closest friends, prior to Phil’s retirement, he was known as a dedicated and passionate racer. Now he’s one of the most trusted advisors for Dream, letting his opinions be heard with a blunt yet passionate emotion-fueled manner.

George

Candy: Blue Raspberry Gummy Rings

Powermove: [unnamed - send in suggestions!]

Temporarily gains the ability to bounce off of objects / racers rather than hitting and slowing down- repeated bouncing also causes a small speed boost

Racer type: Skill required

A moderate to eh racer when not properly used, but an amazing one to a devoted player. Has great handling, the kart flows through shortcuts easily, and power move is useful when applied right

Go to phrase(s): "I could beat you in my sleep!” / “Guess I’ll have to bounce back”

Description:

Dream’s other closest friend, standing in opposition to Sapnap, George could be amazing if he tried at racing a bit more. He’s known for sleeping in and showing indifference towards most things. Though for Dream, he knows George provides an analytical and logical thought process that can’t be beat.

Fundy

Candy: Candy Corn and Caramel

Powermove: Trick or Treat!

Fundy throws a random item from his cart that looks noticeably self made - sometimes it’s catastrophically bad, sometimes it just helps him, and other times it actually might assist a racer nearby !

Racer type: ??

Mysteriously - Fundy’s stats seem to change every so often though, surely it's just people remembering wrong?

Go to phrase(s): “Stay crafty and stay ahead!” / “Clever as a fox and just as sweet!”

Description:

Jack of all trades - master of none suits Fundy relatively well if you don’t take coding into account. Fundy used to be Phil’s advisor on coding when he was the leader, but since his retirement and Dream’s decline of Fundy’s offer to be his advisor, he’s picked up new hobbies. He fiddles and invents things, including messing with his own kart.

With experience that no one else has but his own reservations, Fundy has his own opinions on what’s going on in Sugar Rush.

EXTRA CHARACTERS

Kristin (non-racer)

Description: Bartender at a different video game called Tapper - her and Phil grew close during his break from racing and are now dating. She doesn’t play a big role in the story I just wanted to add her because they’re so sweet.

Jack Manifold (aka Jack Manifold)

Candy/sweet: Bomber pops

Powermove: [send in name suggestions}

Not so much a temporary boost as it is that when you fall off the map with Jack - instead of dying you’re placed back on the track!

Racer type:Speedy

Fastest karts at the expense of less handling and can't take a lot of punches

Go to phrase(s): “The Manifold always comes back!” “Bombs away!”

Description:

Minor rival to Tommy - just designed him because I wanted to. Does have his own track though - it’s cold / ice cream themed.

[guqin-and-flute]

[You know how there’s a set of fics I promised to work on first? Apparently that was a lie! 😘 This is just epilogue, Post-Reconciliation fluff with teenage Jingyi--he’s probably 15-16 CW: Moderate descriptions of dead bodies and injuries in reference to a game they’re playing]

[3zun Raise Jingyi AU] [Main Fic][Ao3 Link]

“Are you you cold?”

“Oh yeah, very.”

“Are you animated?”

“No.”

“Do I know you?”

“Nope.”

“Hmm.”  Yellow-Father flipped the page of the book he was examining, eyes still on his work. “Are there obvious wounds?”

“Yup, my organs are all chewed up, throat torn out, and...let’s say my nose is gone.” Jingyi thumped his chin into his hands, sticking his legs straight out under the low table in the middle of Yellow-Father’s office, idly waggling his feet. 

Next to him at the table, Gray-Father looked like he was falling asleep, his cheek all smushed against his propped up fist, eyes mostly closed, but he still grunted, “Shape of the teeth marks?”

Jingyi squinted into space and wrinkled his nose, considering. “Oblong?”

Yellow-Father twitched a half smirk without looking up from what he was signing. “Oblong teeth?”

“No, oblong...jaw shape or whatever,” Jingyi waved his hand dismissively, wiping away his previous words before drawing a long, thin U-shape in the air with his index finger. 

Gray-Father cracked one eye open to take in the sketch, then closed it again. “Not a fierce corpse, then.”

With an air of exaggerated mystery, Jingyi shrugged, then sprawled backward on the floor so he took up the rest of the walkway in front of the door. “Whoooo’s to say? Is that your guess?”

“Boy, I said it wasn’t a fierce corpse, why would that be my guess?”

“Well, you’re trying to fish for unauthorized information, Chifeng-zun, you gotta play by the rules,” Jingyi shot back sternly, jabbing a serious and admonishing finger in his direction.

Though his eyes were closed, it was very clear that Gray-Father rolled them.

Yellow-Father heaved a sigh and drummed his fingers idly on his desk, gaze roving over the piles of paper as he sucked on his teeth in thought--though, Jingyi had to admit, probably not just about their game. Yellow-Father seemed to operate on several levels at once at all times. “Are there deep puncture marks?” 

“Uhhh...sort of?”

Finally, Yellow-Father looked up to shoot him an amused glance over his desk edge.  “’Sort of?’ That’s hardly fair or specific.” Rising, he gathered a stack of scrolls and came around his desk, stepping easily over Jingyi’s supine form before rapping smartly on the door with his knuckles. 

“Like...teeth marks are technically puncture marks.”

After a moment, the door slid open and a harried looking Jin courier took the pile without a word and disappeared down the hall. Yellow-Father closed the door and turned back. “Yes, I suppose. I’m asking specifically about fangs.”

Lolling his head over, Jingyi watched as he stepped back over him without even looking, robe hem brushing over his belly. He barely fought the sudden urge to grab his ankles as he might have when he was younger. He managed not to--but it was definitely a close thing. “It’s not a snake.”

“What?” Gray-Father demanded, sounding offended.

Jingyi lolled his head back to see his eyes open, glaring at him in mock reproach. “You’ll tell him it’s not a snake but you can’t confirm it’s not a fierce corpse without threatening to take away my guess? How is that playing by the rules?”

“Aha,” Jingyi raised his finger straight into the air again as he proclaimed, “But it is.” Then, he pointed back down at himself. “Because I make the rules.” 

Gray-Father gave a derisive huff through his nose, but smiled. “Yeah, that was cute when you were 5. Not so much anymore.”

“Um, whatever, I’m adorable. Dieeee, are you done yet? I’m bored. When is Blue-die done with his meeting? I wanna gooo.” 

“Patience, Jingyi, I need to clean up. And he’s coming.” Yellow-Father rustled about on his desk, neatly packing everything away into drawers and piles that Jingyi thought were a little excessive--like, why did it need to be that clean? “Where did we find you, again?”

With an exaggerated scoff, Jingyi shook his head slowly, feeling the hard floor beginning to dig into the knob at the back of his skull. He’d have to sit up soon. “Wooow, you find a dead body and you don’t even care enough to remember your surroundings. This must be just any other day to you.”

“In the woods, he said,” Gray-Father betrayed him easily, so Jingyi raised his head to shoot him a glare, but his eyes were closed again. Wriggling closer, he punched the side of his rock of a thigh, earning him a chuckle and Gray-Father leaning down to flip the ends of his fanned out hair over his face.

“Woods, thin, oblong jaws, deep tooth marks, throat torn out, organs and nose gone--or at least chewed on,” Yellow-Father ticked off precisely down an imaginary list as he turned from shelving to continue puttering around. “I’m guessing; wolves.”

Heaving himself upright, Jingyi crashed his hands together just as the gold, white, and blue painted door slid open once again and he bellowed. “GUAAAUAUAUANG!” 

Framed in the doorway, Blue-Father stopped short and blinked at the sudden noise but smiled in amusement. “’Guaaaung?’” When Jingyi thrust out his hands demandingly, he stepped in and obligingly gave him custody of one of his arms. “Hello.”

“Almost done, Er-ge,” floated Yellow-Father’s voice from the closet.

“Clearly, it’s a gong noise.” Jingyi used his arm to haul himself to his feet--Blue-Father didn’t even sway. “They won; I was murdered by wolves.”

At this pronouncement, his blue father cocked his head down at him, smile turning quizzical as Jingyi dusted off the seat of his robes. “...Ah?”

Gray-Father blew out a breath and shook himself awake, unfolding slowly from the table.  “We were playing Dead Body while we waited for you and A-Yao to be done,” he explained, then gave a hugely expansive stretch, scrunching his face up. “I was thinking it was wolves, but I was waiting for the usual twist.”

Yellow-Father emerged from the closet with a smug smile and murmured, “Mmm, of course you were,” to which Gray-Father leaned over the desk and swatted at his butt--he easily dodged. 

“The twist was that there was no twist, this time,” Jingyi said sagely, hands on his hips. “Are we good to go? Finally?”

“I...yes.” Blue-Father still had on that ‘I still don’t know what’s going on here’ smile as Yellow-Father closed the shutters against the streaming sun and joined them. “How does one play Dead Body, exactly?” he asked curiously as he leaned down to let Yellow-Father kiss his cheek hello just before they made their way out into the hall.

Pretending to hold back barf was something Jingyi did less because he cared about them kissing and more because it was his job as annoying teenage son to do things like that. In any case, he was rewarded by Gray-Father wrapping him in a casual headlock, then ignoring him when he flailed to escape as Yellow-Father locked up his office. “You mean you’ve never played Dead Body with him?”

“Mm, not that I recall--and I feel like I would remember something like that.”

From his chaotic and squished vantage point, he saw Yellow-Father look down at him--all captured and partially strangled and sputtering under Gray-Father’s arm. He rolled his eyes, and fondly scolded, “Let him breathe, Da-ge.”

Easily, Gray-Father complied. Wonderful, blessed air flooded back into Jingyi’s lungs--which he immediately used for retaliation by leaping onto Gray-Father’s back like a monster spider and wrapping him in a headlock of his own. Yellow-Father winced and hissed, “Mind Baxia, Fufu, for gods’ sake--”

“Dead Body isn’t a Lan game,” Jingyi panted dismissively, tightening his grip and bracing himself when Gray-Father planted his feet to take stock of the situation. 

His other 2 fathers continued to walk on, out of range of Such Antics. It was a good thing, too, because in a whirl of walls and ceiling, Gray-Father managed to very neatly flip him over his shoulder onto the ground. With a smack, all the breath stuck in his lungs for a few agonizing moments while his horrible, rotten Gray-Father grinned down at him and laughed, “You little ass. What did you think was going to happen?”

“Vengeance,” Jingyi wheezed back several seconds later when he could breathe again again. The ring in his ears hadn’t completely left, yet. 

“--and then you have to diagnose what killed him. It was very popular back when he was around 7 years old,” Yellow-Father was explaining to Blue-Father ahead of them, ignoring the intense drama of betrayal and revenge happening just up the hall. “Though, what on earth makes it not a ‘Lan game’ is beyond me.”

Staggering to his feet with the grudgingly accepted hand of his gray father, Jingyi caught up to them 2 of them. “Right, like shu-gong would want me lying around shouting about my limbs being torn off. He doesn’t even like me yelling about normal things; I would get so many lines.” He flopped down onto his yellow Father’s shoulders and leaned as they walked, even though he was just a little taller, now (and oooh, didn’t Yellow-Father hate it).

 Automatically, his father reached up and pet his head, even as he said, “You’re crushing me, Fufu.”

Transferring over to Blue-Father, he hung from his shoulders when he patiently slowed to allow him to do so. “You find a body,” Jingyi intoned, dramatically. “It’s Lianfang-zun.” He spread his other hand wide as if painting the scene. “He’s folded up like a letter in the halls of Koi Tower! Cause of death?”

“A ridiculous son,” Gray-Father chuckled from behind them, and Jingyi twisted to kick up a foot and stuck out his tongue.

“Wrong.”

“Usually, there was a lot more posing, as a child,” Yellow-Father informed Blue-Father in a heavy tone over Jingyi’s head. “And props. It was a whole ordeal. I’m forever grateful it’s now entirely theoretical.”

“Ahh, I see,” Blue-Father shook his head and put a steadying arm around his shoulder as Jingyi hopped along on one foot, waggling his other one behind him as bait for Gray-Father to take amused, cursory swipes at. “Is there a reason I never got to play Dead Body?”

With exaggerated patience, Jingyi put both feet on the ground and reached up to pat his blue father’s cheek, smiling sympathetically. “Die, whenever I wanted to play war, you always asked if there was a peaceful solution--and I just wanted to stab people.”

All 3 fathers burst out laughing as they rounded the corner of the hallway, the sun shining warmly over their sides from the garden windows. “Oh, so you decided that I just didn’t have the stomach for it, is that it?” Blue-Father asked with a grin.

Jingyi heaved himself off, spinning around to walk backward in front of all of them. “I mean, sort of? I think maybe I figured it would make you too sad to imagine me dead?”

At this, Gray-Father’s eyebrows shot up with a sharp, incredulous laugh and Yellow-Father reared his head back in offended bafflement, demanding, “Oh, and for some reason we wouldn’t be sad to imagine you dead?!”

Shrugging aggressively, Jingyi held up his hands in defense. “I dunno! He seemed like he would handle it worse! I was 7, what do you want from me? It doesn’t have to make sense, I was an idiot!”

“Oh, you were not an idiot,” Blue-Father protested, tilting his head and crinkling him a smile. “You were wonderful.”

“You were 7,” Yellow-Father agreed with Jingyi’s first statement, darkly. Apparently, he was still highly offended, because he muttered, “’Handle it worse’...” under his breath before saying, “You’re about to run into a vase, Jingyi, turn around.”

Instead of obeying, Jingyi just veered away from the obstacle and continued to shrug at him when he sighed and looked to his blue father for help. Before it could come, Gray-Father nudged Blue-Father with his shoulder, teasing, “Congratulations on being the only one to actually care about our son, apparently.”

“Holy hell, fine, if it’s going to be A Thing, we’ll all play and mourn my death together. Happy?” As he rolled his eyes, Jingyi nearly ran into the wall as the last corridor before the outside door ended, but Yellow-Father caught his sleeve and steered him right with feigned annoyance in his pursed lips.

Blue-Father laughed, the light sparking off his spikey guan when he shook his head fondly. “Alright, I’ll play if you turn around. What do we find?”

Obediently, Jingyi spun back around and waited to fall into step with them, pondering the details of his gruesome demise. Beside him, Yellow-Father rolled his eyes to the ceiling with one dimple showing and Gray-Father shook his head with a grin. Then, Jingyi snapped his fingers and spread his hands theatrically just as they all rounded the corner of the hallway. “Alright, so, I’m face down in a river and I’m covered in boils--” 

[awanderingdeal]

Lazy summer mornings with the cubs.

Is this an update for one of the many works in progress that I have? Afraid not! This is a story that I wrote live on the discord (after some inspiration from @ais-for-alex), with a bit of editing. The flow still isn’t 100% but I’m pretty happy with it. 

It’s smutty mess of emotion, featuring some of the corniest lines I have ever written. I would apologise but these boys make me feel things. RATING: EXPLICIT. 

All credit for the wonderful Leo, Logan and Finn goes to @lumosinlove. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When they weren’t travelling, summer break was filled with lazy mornings that Leo treasured. Sometimes, like today, Finn slipped out at first light to play basketball with Alex, Kasey and Natalie. It left Leo and Logan to wake slowly. Inevitably, Leo would be the first, piling pillows behind him so that he could make some headway in the required reading for his online class. Eventually Logan would crack his eyes open, stretching and popping his limbs. Once he had fought through the sleepy haze, Logan would grab his laptop, finding a documentary to meet whatever his latest obsession was. Apparently, ‘The mystery of the rebel pharaoh’ was not as riveting as it sounded because Leo could feel Logan getting restless beside him. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Leo saw Logan rip off his headphones and he heard the slap of a laptop closing. What he doesn't expect is Logan's fingers on the band of his underwear. Leo protests, just wanting to get to the end of his chapter. Logan’s hands still but his eyes are bright and wanting. Leo knows that look. 

"Can I?" Logan asks, a slow smirk spreading across his face. The words are few but Leo understands the question is related to the article that Logan sent him yesterday. The article he had opened whilst in a meeting with Cameron, the specialist keeper coach, by the way. He'd been expecting something mundane about picking up groceries or what setting on the washing machine to use, not 'Cockwarming 101'. He can still feel the heat of the blush that had spread over his face and Cameron’s concerned questions.  

Leo nods his consent and Logan takes his penis into his mouth. He is fairly certain that he should have just dropped the reading, because how was he supposed to concentrate with his cock in the warmth of Logan's mouth. However, surprisingly quickly, it becomes an intimate, comforting sensation and he is able to make progress. Occasionally, Logan would shift or hum his contentment and it would send a shiver through Leo. He breathes through it and waits for himself to calm down, feeling Logan grin around him. Leo sees Logan's hand move to his own cock, stroking it lazily. His fingers barely grazing over the darkened skin, matching the lazy sucks he'd started to subject Leo to and Leo's resolve breaks. He puts his tablet down, his fingers tangling in Logan's hair, "Alright, baby. Go ahead."

Logan's eyes glance up at Leo, and somehow he looks the picture of innocence despite the fact that he still has Leo between his lips. Logan suckles Leo a few times before pulling off with a pop. "Finished reading, baby?" he asks, giving Leo a smug look that Leo really really wants to hate but just can't. 

"You know very well that I wasn't," Leo scoffed. "But somebody is needy."

Logan laughed, "I don't know who you are talking about."

Leo raised an eyebrow, "a minute ago you seemed interested in keeping that smart mouth occupied by something else." 

Logan pressed his lips to Leo's thighs, mouthing a mark into the skin. His fingers played aimlessly with Leo's balls, "what if I’ve changed my mind?" 

Logan reached out to grab Leo's hand. "Non," he sang, pulling the long limb towards him. It fell comically onto Logan's curls, but Leo knew what he was going for and wrapped his long fingers into the hair with a snort. 

Leo groaned, his head flopping back against the headboard. He quickly composed himself. Logan could be a shit, but Leo was more than able to match the teasing. "I'll just finish studying then, shall I?" he retorted, contorting his features into a smirk.

"Better distract me then, sweetheart," Leo grinned, lifting Logan's head gently and leaning down to press his lips against Logan's. Logan, having had enough of the games, licked his lips and sunk his mouth down on Leo's cock with a practised ease. His movements matched the lazy morning, slow and unhurried, savouring the moment. Logan's fingers clenched into Leo's hips, there so often that the skin seemed to have moulded itself to make a home for them.

A picture of restraint, Logan kept the pace slow. Each time Leo thought he couldn’t take it anymore, Logan’s tongue would lap at the head, taking the edge off. It was a beautiful kind of torture; Leo's length cocooned in the heat of Logan's mouth. He wanted nothing more than to thrust into it, to chase the pleasure humming just there. But Leo let himself fall into the heady feeling, let himself be guided in the way that Logan wanted.

Lost in the sensations, the first Leo knew of Finn's return home was the low whistle from the doorway. Leo's eyes snapped over to meet Finn's. Logan only sucked harder, pressing his fingers to the thin skin at the base of Leo's balls. A spot that  Logan knew would make him keen - nothing if not a performer. 

"Can I request that I come home to this all the time?" Finn breathed, pushing himself off the frame of the door. He crossed the room, the tight athletic shorts he was wearing left little to the imagination. 

Somehow, Leo managed to find his voice. "Hey sweetheart. Good game?" he asked. Twelve months ago, when Leo was just starting to let himself imagine what this could be, he never could have conjured this image. Sometimes he still felt like he was dreaming. The reality was so much better. 

Finn hummed a reply, leaning down to catch Leo's lips in a slightly salty kiss. "Yeah. Nat and I won, of course," Finn grinned, his fingers lingering on Leo's cheek.

"Morning, Lo." Finn added casually, his eyes glancing down the bed. Logan's mouth morphed into a smile around Leo. His eyes were questioning and Finn didn't need words to know what they were asking. "Sorry babe, I'm tired. Gonna jump in the shower and grab some food. You enjoy yourself though," Finn answered. Twelve months ago, Finn would never have turned down an opportunity like this. Leo knew that Finn too had been afraid that one day he was going to wake up and it'd all be over. But Finn was more secure these days. He could say no because there would be a lifetime of opportunities to say yes. 

"Can I steal that mouth for a second?" Finn chuckled. Logan drew off Leo with a purposeful slurp, his lips painted with the signs of Leo's pleasure. Finn didn't hesitate before pressing their lips together, and Leo could have sworn his heart stopped for a beat when he saw Finn's tongue brush the mess away. "You always taste good, baby," Finn winked at Leo and it should have been cheesy, but Finn managed to make it effortlessly cool.

You think he's going to jerk off in there?" Logan laughed, cocking his head towards the bathroom door.

Leo rolled his eyes gently, his muscles jerking as Logan took him back into his mouth. "It's Finn so who knows? Fifty percent chance he's jerking off. Fifty percent chance he's practising his fake out and he's going to end up in the ER," Leo snickered. 

Logan murmured his agreement, a breathy laugh sending a shiver up Leo's spine. He gave Leo a long lick before glancing up at him and pulling away again. Leo's eyes widened. He was officially going to combust. He was going to be the first person with, 'died of horniness', on their death certificate. 

Logan huffed out another laugh, "Okay, Okay. Let's get you sorted. As much as I love having you in my mouth, I know half of that big brain of yours is already planning what to feed Finn." 

Leo couldn't argue with that, "You know me too well, Logan Tremblay."

 "Maybe you're just too predictable, Leo Knut," Logan countered.

Logan hollowed his mouth and filled it with Leo again. There was no moderation this time. Leo could feel him everywhere. His hands squeezing his balls, gently at first, and then harder. Logan's lips pressed tight around him, dragging down his cock and then back up again. His tongue wrapping around the head, dipping in to taste. Leo is vocal, gasping out encouragement liberally. Logan deserves to know how good he makes him feel. If he is a little louder so that Finn can hear from the bathroom, then that was his prerogative. Logan pushes Leo's legs up, his hands grasping onto his thighs. Leo knows what is coming and tries to prepare himself; he never can. Logan's mouth is at the head of his cock again, sucking and it doesn't stop. His legs push up but Logan's hands are strong against the pressure. Leo's eyes meet Logan's and that is enough for him to be emptying into his mouth. Logan doesn't falter, working him through it. 

It's a few seconds before Leo finishes soaring, although it feels a lot longer. A few seconds before he notices that Logan was now resting on Leo, lips barely brushing his penis and  hips rutting into the sheets. "Need a hand, Lo?” Leo asked, his voice still shaky.

Logan's eyes squeezed closed, his body stilling and Leo had his answer. He brushed his hands through Logan's hair until his green orbs were visible again. Logan blushed in the way he always did when he came untouched, no matter how many times he and Finn told him how much they loved it. 

"Come here, sweetheart," Leo cooed, pulling Logan up his body. "How many times?" 

Logan smacked his hand on Leo's chest, "Just twice."

"Just twice," Leo chuckled. "I'll try harder next time." He brushed his thumb over Logan's lips, still a bit tacky. "Tell me when?" 

It was part of their normal routine now. Sometimes a way to debrief. An easier way for Logan to let them know what he liked. A relationship saver really, because if Leo had heard, "all of it," in response to "what was your favorite part?" again, then he wasn't going to be responsible for his actions. Sometimes a way to ramp things back up. The start of a 3rd, 4th or even once, a 5th time.

Logan nipped at the thumb playfully, "When Finn kissed me. When he took you from my lips. And then he just...licked." His words trailed off, barely audible at the end as if he was reliving the moment. Leo couldn't blame him. It had been hot.

"Yeah, I think that might be ingrained in my memory forever," Leo agreed, taking his thumb back and replacing it with a quick kiss. The bathroom door opened, releasing a haze of steam and a very relaxed looking Finn. 

"He lives!" Logan teased, his laugh full and happy. 

"Had a bath in the end," Finn shrugged, letting the towel wrapped around his waist fall and Leo was sure that he left it a beat longer than normal to pull on a fresh pair of briefs. "I got distracted." Finn continued.

 Leo pulled Logan's damp clothes from him, the shorter boy lifting up to aid their removal. "I'm just going to grab a cloth," Leo whispered, kissing at Logan's jaw. 

"...and then I couldn't stop so I just re-enacted that whole scene in the perfect bathroom. I was Harry, Myrtle and the merpeople. Deserved an Oscar if you ask me." 

Leo caught the end of Finn's monologue, complete with enthusiastic gesturing, as he walked back into the bedroom. He'd learnt long ago not to ask questions, but that was definitely not what he had been expecting.

"Sounds like you had fun, babe," Leo chuckled, tapping Finn's ass as he passed by. 

"And don't think I didn't hear your dramatics. Very much appreciated, by the way." Finn said, an arm wrapping around Leo's waist as he was pulled back to Finn. Leo felt Finn's hand tilting his chin and pressing his lips to his own. It all happened so quickly, leaving Leo a bit dazed. 

Leo blinked, looking down at Finn with a smile. He took Finn’s hand from his chin, pressing his knuckles against his lips before pushing the washcloth into his curled fingers. "How about you take care of our boy over there and I'll make breakfast?" 

Finn hummed his approval, kissing Leo again. His collarbone this time. "I like that plan,” he said, reluctantly untangling himself from Leo. Still, there was a bounce in his step as he made his way to the bed. From the arms of one love to another.

Leo didn't leave straight away, letting himself indulge in the whispered tenderness of Logan and Finn. It was moments like this that he loved the most. The calm before the storm, as Leo thought of them. Soon they'd get up and it would be a symphony of noise - Leo loved that too - but for now it was murmured nothings and skin on skin, searching out comfort in the familiar beat of one another's hearts. Moments that should have been too private to watch, and yet Leo was welcome.

[agentsnickers]

small wonders

(this is not quite a whole fic, but a little glimpse into the royal au. surprise! Friday was ITIK/Royal’s first birthday!)

Davey feels cold fingers close around his own, followed immediately by the familiar weight of a body pressing close to his side.  He doesn’t need to turn to know exactly who it is.

“I’m sure you’ve met Prince John,” Davey says.

The nobleman Davey had been talking to – some moderately high-ranking member of King Joseph’s court, though his name is slipping Davey’s mind – looks from Davey to Jack and back again.

“We’ve met, yes. I’m impressed that you didn’t jump at all, David,” the nobleman says, “if I hadn’t seen him coming I’m quite sure the prince would’ve startled me quite badly.”

Jack laughs. “I haven’t been able to startle David in almost twenty years.”

“I grew up at Manhattan Castle,” Davey explains. “I’m well used to the prince’s quirks.” He turns his head toward Jack, tipped curiously to one side. “Did you need something, your highness?”

“It’s your turn,” Jack says. “She’s looking for you.”

“Already?” says Davey, surprised. He turns back toward the nobleman. “If you’ll excuse me, sir, I have to attend to the princess.”

The man nods, waving Davey on.

Davey follows closely behind Jack as the two of them walk back over to where Jack’s wife is deep in conversation with her parents.

“Davey!” Katherine says brightly, breaking off from whatever she’d been saying to her father. “She’s been looking for you!”

“I wasn’t even gone that long,” Davey says, laughing. He opens his arms and lets Katherine pass him Felicity, who coos and reaches for his face. “Hello, Lissie.”

King Joseph raises an eyebrow. “I don’t understand why you’re all so insistent that she was looking for Jacobs.”

“She’s been asking for him when she looked around,” Katherine says. “Haven’t you, Lissie-belle? Can you show Grandfather how you say Davey?”

“Dayee,” coos Felicity. She reaches for Davey’s face again, patting his cheek. 

She is ten months old, and so far “Davey” is all she’s mastered saying. This is her first visit to Katherine’s home kingdom, and naturally it’s been a bit of a to-do. Despite the fact that this party is in her honor, her grandparents had wanted to leave Felicity upstairs in Katherine’s old nursery, attended by a servant or two, but Katherine and Jack were having none of it. They’re insistently hands-on parents, with Queen Medda’s firm approval and support.  

Davey kisses the top of Felicity’s head. “Good job, sweetpea.”

He and Jack and Katherine have been passing Felicity around all night, just like they do at home. Usually there are a few more hands in the game – Sarah, for one, and both Les and Charlie – but Davey was the only person spared to make this trip with Jack, Katherine, and Felicity. Queen Medda herself had been the one to suggest that Davey accompany them, a knowing smile on her lips.  

“Ah,” says King Joseph. “I didn’t realize that was meant to be a word.”

“Sure is,” Jack says proudly. “Our little girl’s awful bright. We’re still working on mama and dada, but she’s sure got Davey down.”

“Dayee!” Felicity repeats, giggling.

“Lissie,” Davey replies, bouncing Felicity with each syllable.  

“It seems like she sees a lot of you, Jacobs,” Queen Kate says in a tone that sounds intentionally diplomatic.

Privately, Davey thinks anybody who sounds like they’re trying to be diplomatic when they’re speaking should not be in this line of work. But birth rank doesn’t much account for one’s people skills, he supposes.

“I’m Prince John’s right hand man,” Davey says. He has had to use Jack’s real name more this week than in the last few months together, but it still fits wrong in his mouth. “Comes with the territory, I suppose. I’m quite fond of her, so it’s hardly a hardship.”

“Do you have any children yourself?” the queen asks, still in that odd tone.

“No,” Davey says with a bit of a laugh. Felicity giggles along with him. “I’m unmarried and intend to stay that way, Your Majesty.”

“No prospects of your own, Jacobs?” King Joseph asks. His tone is far less diplomatic. King Joseph has, for some reason, never much liked Davey.

“I have far too much on my plate to entertain the idea of marriage,” says Davey, rocking Felicity slowly as she calms down somewhat, resting her little head against his shoulder. “Duties to my kingdom and my prince come well ahead of any of that. I have two siblings both happy to carry on the family name.”

King Joseph hums, unimpressed. “I see.”

“I’m going to walk with her for a bit,” Davey says, still rocking Felicity. He directs it to Jack and Katherine. “I think she may be ready to fall asleep soon.”

“Of course,” says Jack, “because for me she wants to be awake and looking around at everything, and the minute Kit hands her to you, she goes right to sleep.”

“That sounds more like you tired her out than me having some magical talent,” Davey points out. 

Katherine laughs. “Ever the realist, our David.”

Jack splutters a halfhearted protest, but they all know it to be true.

Davey nods politely to the king and queen and leaves Jack and Katherine to their conversation, taking slow, measured steps so as not to jostle Felicity too much. He does have a bit of a knack for getting Felicity to go down, but it’s much more to do with his steadier pace and quieter voice than anything more mysterious. Jack is boisterous and bright, which always draws heart melting smiles and hiccupping giggles from his daughter, but rarely encourages sleep.

(Katherine has the advantage over both of them of being the only one who can ever sing Felicity to sleep, where Davey always has to walk her around and Jack just has to hand her off to one of the others.)

“Dayee,” Felicity mumbles, patting his chest.

“I love you, Lissie-belle,” Davey softly replies. He keeps rocking side-to-side as he walks, watching Felicity’s eyes drift shut. Sometimes he truly can’t believe how lucky he is to have a place like this in her life. 

He glances up, meeting Jack’s gaze across the room without realizing he means to. Jack grins, his face completely lighting up. Davey smiles back reflexively, and he doesn’t miss the way Katherine - who is mostly facing Jack, still - smiles fondly at the two of them, shaking her head.

Not just her life, Davey supposes. He presses a gentle kiss to Felicity’s soft, fluffy curls. He can’t believe it, sometimes, but he’s not about to complain.

[chiaki-translation]

4th Anniversary The Key to Daydreaming: Winter’s Door - Event Translation

Of course I’ll start from Winter *cough cough*

But yeah, I don’t know why but I’m quite moved by the entire scene at the end? And also, I dieded when Hisoka called us Ojou-san XD

For the benefit of those who doesn’t have the JP game, I have uploaded the voiced recording of this story. Please don’t reupload them anywhere else, but here it is: WINTER’s DOOR

4th Anniversary The Key to Daydreaming: Secret Key / / Spring’s Door / / Autumn’s Door / / Winter’s Door / / Opening the Future Door with You

Disclaimer:

A3! belongs to Liber Entertainment

Translator’s Note: The character they portray are the characters from their Mixed Play, namely Kondo from I Come with The Night, Miyagi from Run Around The Field, George from Luminous Circus, Holmes from Scarlet Mirror, Kou and Hisui from YinYang Midnight. Character names followed Yaycupcake wiki as I’m not sure about the correct reading of their names.

Winter’s Door

Director:

(The manager told me to go to the rooms one by one… I wonder which room I should start from)

Ah, speaking of which, I have something to ask Tasuku-san.

(The clock in the lounge hasn’t been working well, I thought I should ask him to take a look at it.

There’s the thing about the key as well, I guess I’ll go to Tasuku-san’s room first, that way I can hear from Tsumugi-san as well)

<Shifts to Corridor>

Director:

Hmm? There’s something pasted on the door.

“Unlocked” ?

What is this about…

Eh!?

(There’s a dull sound coming from inside…  I wonder if everything’s alright.

I’m a bit worried, let’s try calling them for now)

<Shifts to Room 204>

Kondo?:

“Uh… ugh…”

Miyagi?:

“Oi, are you alright?”

Director:

(Hmm? Those are Kondo and Miyagi from the Mixed Play performance right.

What’s the two of them doing with that look…?)

Miyagi:

“I think it’s not a good idea for you to push yourself…”

Kondo:

“I’m not pushing myself. I’m just not feeling very well today.”

Director:

(Tsumugi-san… To be exact, Kondo is trying to lift the dumbbell.

That dumbbell is quite heavy though…

I want to stop him because it will be bad if he got injured, but they might be in the middle of practicing an etude)

Kondo:

“Uh, ughhhh….!”

Director:

Umm, if it’s too heavy, please don’t force yourself…

Kondo and Miyagi:

“!”

Director:

(I got too worried and ended up stopping him)

Kondo:

“Sigh, it’s so pathetic to be worried by a woman.”

Miyagi:

“I told you that the way you hold it makes people worry didn’t I.”

Director:

(As I thought, they’re deep in their role.

I guess it’s better for me to match them for now)

Are you trying to build your physical strength with the dumbbell?

Miyagi:

“No, that’s not the case…

About how it comes to this, how to say it.”

Director:

?

Miyagi:

“I run a liquor store, and I’m thinking of opening a new shop this time.

Then, I found out that there’s a good property nearby so I went to take a look.”

Director:

A new shop! That sounds good.

Miyage:

“Yeah. And then, I met this guy who has bought our sake before.”

Kondo:

“I’m quite confident with my physical strength, so I was thinking of offering some help after hearing the shop owner’s situation.”

Miyagi:

“I’m grateful for your intention but, I have told you so many times that it’s enough for you to just come by and buy some sake again next time…

You said you’re confident in your physical strength, that’s why I said you can carry several bottles of beers like the one you bought last time--

It’s supposed to be a joke though...”

Kondo:

“Of course not. Just like this, I can easily pick up this heavy dumbbell… Ugh….! Uh…!”

Miyagi:

“Oh, well… As you can see, he’s quite stubborn, and he started to try showing off his power using the dumbbell that happened to be around.”

Director:

I, I see.

But if you overdo it, you might ended up injuring yourself, please do it in moderation.

(In the end, Kondo is still Tsumugi-san…)

Kondo:

“I guess I have no choice…

I’m not feeling very well today, I’ll leave it at that for now.”

Miyagi:

“Please do so.”

Director:

Right. I was a bit distracted, but I have something that I want to ask the two of you. Is it alright?

Kondo:

“A question for us?”

Miyagi:

“What is it about?”

Director:

I picked up a key earlier and I don’t know the owner.

Do you have any idea about what this is?

Miyagi:

“It’s not mine.”

Kondo:

“I also know nothing.”

Director:

Ah, I see…

Miyagi:

“Ah, speaking of which, a circus troupe seems to be coming near here.

There seem to be a considerable amount of people coming, you might be able to find the owner there.”

Director:

Circus Troupe…?

(What is this about.

I wonder if it’s another setting for the etude.)

Miyagi:

“Also, it’s fine for you to keep looking for the owner, but there are some strange rumors floating around here recently, please be careful when you’re walking alone.”

Kondo:

“Ah… It’s about the non-human ‘Mysterious Visitor’ that appears once a day right.”

Director:

No, non-human huh…

Miyagi:

“Yeah, some rumor even said that they’re devils.”

Kondo:

“For now, why don’t you go and check the circus troupe first.

That circus seems to have a trapeze artist and a beast master too.”

Miyagi:

“Hoo, that sounds interesting.

I’ll go invite my brother and friends to take a look on my next day off.”

Kondo:

“Yeah, I’m also thinking of bringing my wife to see them.”

Director:

A trapeze artist and a beast master…

(This feels familiar, are they actually talking about Luminous Circus troupe…?)

Understood. I’ll be going ahead.

Kondo:

“Yeah, please take care.”

Miyagi:

“Then, see you around.”

<End of Chapter 3>

Director:

(Ah, I kinda forgot to talk to Tasuku-san about the clock, it just doesn’t seem to be the right time. I’ll go and ask him next time.)

!

There’s a lively music coming from the next room somehow…

(As I thought, the story from before was most probably about Luminous Circus Troupe.

Ah, Room 205 also has a paper written “Unlocked” on it.)

<Shifts to Room 205>

George?:

“Thank you so much!”

Holmes?:

“That was pretty interesting.”

Director:

(It’s George and Holmes this time…!)

Holmes:

“Hi, my lady. What a pity, you were just slightly late.

George was performing his show until just a minute ago.”

George:

“If you come to our Circus, I’ll show it  to you as much as you want.

Please come to Luminous Circus Troupe next time. ”

Director:

Eh umm, Alright…

Holmes:

“Then, you were saying that you have something to consult with me.”

George:

“Right. I want you to look at the “Mysterious Visitor” rumor that has been floating around here recently.”

Holmes:

“That rumor huh, I recently heard about it.”

George:

“The number of customers tend to decrease when there’s a creepy rumor floating around. That’s why, I would like to ask for Mr Detective to unravel this mystery.”

Holmes:

“I’m not really interested in strange rumor like this, but I guess I’m a bit curious this time, I’ll take a look at it.”

George:

“Right. As expected of a great detective.”

Holmes:

“Apparently that visitor only appears once a day.

They’ve been visiting the houses around here in turn, and the next one that they’re most likely going to visit seems to be the empty building over there.”

Director:

(Eh? That one was probably the building that Miyagi mentioned just now…)

Holmes:

“But, I don’t know when that visitor will make their appearance.

If there’s someone there it would be easier, at least I would be able to hear from him.”

George:

“I’m also quite concerned that the visitor will make an appearance at that empty building.”

Director:

Excuse me… I think there’s someone there today.

I was told by my acquaintance that he came to visit that building today.

George:

“Is that true! So this kind of coincidence do happen.”

Holmes:

“I see, there’s a possibility that my lady’s acquaintance has met with this mysterious visitor.

Thank you for the information. You’re faring better than my assistant.”

Goerge:

“That was a great help, my lady.

If there’s a way we can extend our gratitude to you…”

Director:

Ah! Then, can I ask you just one question?

George:

“Of course, I don’t mind. Ask us anything.”

Director:

I’m looking for the owner of this key.

Do you know anything about it?

George:

“Hmm… It’s a key that I haven’t seen before.

It’s a pity, but it’s not mine.”

Holmes:

“I don’t recall anything either.

But, if you’re talking about key…

I saw a mysterious room with a paper stuck on its keyhole.

It’s a room just opposite from here.”

George:

“Oh, I think it might be a good idea to check it at once.

Why don’t you go and see?”

Director:

(The room opposite from here is… Room 206)

Right, I’ll go check it out.

Thanks for telling me!

Holmes:

“Of course, you’re welcome.”

George:

“Good luck to you. My kind lady.”

Holmes:

“Now that that’s gone…

Should we eat some marshmallow?”

George:

“Aren’t we going to check that building?”

Holmes:

“… It’s just a joke.”

<Shifts to Courtyard>

Director:

(Like I was told to, I ended up coming to Room 206…

It’s true, there’s a yorishiro-like paper stuck on the keyhole.

TN: Yorishiro is the paper used to attract spirit, just Google it for the appearance.

Furthermore, it’s the same “Unlocked”  written on it.

This yorishiro…

The mysterious visitor that everyone was talking about, could it be--)

<Shifts to Room 206>

Director:

(As I thought, inside is Kou and Hisui)

Kou:

“Geez, you never get tired of it every day.”

Hisui:

“This world is clearly very different from the world that we live in.

I thought if I can continue to exist like this, Master might exist in a different form here as well.

Is it a sin for me for just wanting to see him one more time…”

Kou:

“No, I never said that it’s a sin.

But, rather than doing this troublesome thing every single day, why don’t you get it all over and done with.”

Hisui:

“I have to look at each one of them carefully, otherwise I might miss it.”

Kou:

“Geez, what a troublesome matter.”

Director:

(I thought the mysterious visitor would either be Kou or Hisui, but looking at this situation, it seems to be Hisui.

After listening to their story, I think they’re looking for Geppaku.)

Kou:

“So, where are you going today?”

Hisui:

“There’s an unoccupied house over there.”

Kou:

“That one huh…

You said it’s unoccupied, so there’s no one inside right.”

Hisui:

“I know that, but…”

Director:

(What a dejected expression he has.

I feel a bit sorry for him…)

Umm… Excuse me--

Kou:

“Little girl, you finally opened your mouth.”

Director:

Uhh, so you found me out…

Kou:

“Of course, it’s a given.”

Hisui:

“What business do you have with us.”

Director:

That empty building, there should be someone coming there today.

But those people are my acquaintances, so I don’t think it’s the person you’re looking for.

Hisui:

“I see.

But master might not be the same master as before.

There’s a possibility that his form has changed.”

Kou:

“If it’s her acquaintance, isn’t it faster just to bring her along with you.”

Hisui:

“You’re right… Can I ask for your assistance.”

Director:

Yeah, I don’t mind.

Hisui:

“I’m really grateful.”

Kou:

“Hmm, today sounds more interesting than usual.

Let me go along with you.”

Hisui:

“Then, let’s head out.”

Director:

Ah, before that…

Does this key belong to any of you two?

Hisui:

“Key? …So a key can take this kind of shape.”

Kou:

“I don’t know. It’s not mine.”

Hisui:

“My bad, I have no idea either.”

Director:

(So key doesn’t really exist in this form in their era…

Well, there are still places that I haven’t confirmed yet, I guess I just have to look patiently.)

Understood, thank you so much.

Then, should we go.

<End of Chapter 4>

Director:

Ah… Now that I think about it, I don’t know the specific location of that empty building…

Hisui:

“You don’t need to worry. I know the way…

It’s over here, follow me.”

Director:

(We ended up in front of the storeroom…

There’s a paper written “Unlocked” over here as well.)

Kou:

“Hmm, it’s here huh. Then, let’s go inside and take a look.”

<Shifts to Storeroom>

Holmes:

“There’s a chance that the mysterious visitor is going to appear over here today, do you see any apparent changes in the surroundings?”

George:

“If it stays this way, the customers will stop coming.

I wonder who this visitor is, I do want to know as well.”

Miyagi:

“I just met the caretaker for this building, there doesn’t seem to be anything unusual—

Right, I’m getting up now,”

Kondo:

“Ah, oi! Who are those people over there…!?”

Holmes:

“!”

George:

“What…!?”

Kou:

“Seems like our appearance suprised you.”

Director:

Sorry for coming in suddenly.

Eh umm, I have something to tell everyone.

The identity of the mysterious visitor is Hisui-san over here.

Kondo:

“This person?”

Holmes:

“Oh, the fact that my lady brings the mysterious visitor here directly means…”

Hisui:

“Mysterious visitor…?”

Director:

Actually, recently there’s a rumor floating around here which says about a mysterious visitor that visit once a day.

Hisui:

“I see…

My bad, I was being careful not to stand out, but I didn’t think that I actually bothered a lot of people.

I’m just, trying to look for someone that I really want to meet.”

George:

“I see, so it’s like that.”

Miyagi:

“Don’t just create a fuss like that…”

Kou:

“But as I thought, none of them is your Master.”

Hisui:

“Yeah. You even come here especially with me, my bad.”

Director:

It’s fine, please don’t mind it.

Kondo:

“Regardless, what a strange appearance you guys have.

It doesn’t look like the so-called cosplay too…”

Holmes:

“What are you guys?”

Kou:

“We’re Shikigami.”

Kondo:

“Shi, Shikigami!?

The kind that appears in Onmyouji stories, you mean you’re that…!?”

Miyagi:

“It’s just a joke right…”

George:

“Hmm, what is a Shikigami?”

Holmes:

“I feel that I’ve heard the word itself before…”

Director:

Umm… I don’t know if I can explain it well, but something like a ghostly spirit apparition? I wonder if that explanation is alright…?

Kou:

“It’s troublesome to explain. So let’s leave it at that.”

Hisui:

“I don’t mind either.”

George:

“An apparition…! What a profound mystery…!”

Holmes:

“Who would have thought that the mysterious visitor is really such an existence.”

Hisui:

“I’m really sorry for making a fuss for everyone.

I’m going to try looking somewhere else once more.”

Kou:

“But you seem to have scared the people around this area, isn’t it better to just stay over here for a while.”

Hisui:

“You’re right…”

Director:

(Hisui looks a bit disappointed…)

Miyagi:

“…Hey, you.”

Hisui:

“?”

Miyagi:

“You look pretty tired, why don’t you take one of my sake and drink for now.

You might feel more energized after drinking good sake.

Ah, I don’t know if Shikigami can drink sake or not though.”

Hisui:

“I’m thankful for your offer.”

Kondo:

“Ah, that sounds good. The sake that the owner choose always hits the mark, they’re delicious.”

George:

“Oh, then I would like to try drinking it too.

Can I get one as well?”

Kou:

“The sake of this world huh. Hmm, I’m also interested.”

Holmes:

“You piqued my interest indeed. Let me have it as well.”

Miyagi:

“You guys…!

Sigh, understood… I’ll take everyone’s share later.”

Director:

(Fufu, they’re people from different era and country, but they get along well somehow, looking at them is pretty funny)

Holmes:

“Speaking of which, have you found the owner of the key?”

Director:

No, I actually haven’t found them.

Miyagi:

“… I see. Just like that Shikigami who is looking for someone, the key might also be looking for the keyhole that suits it.”

Director:

You’re right… That might be the case.

Kondo:

“If you can’t find the owner here, the key might be connecting you to a new story up ahead. This is not the end.”

Director:

A new story…

Holmes:

“If you have decided, that means you can’t stay over here isn’t it?”

Director:

Yes?

Hisui:

“You’re going to look for the key’s owner right?”

Director:

I mean, I guess it’s supposed to be that way…

But from the beginning, what are these all about!?

Kou:

“It’s best for you to go now, little girl.”

George:

“A journey around with the key, please enjoy yourself.”

<Shifts to Courtyard>

Director:

I, I got kicked out, in the end I didn’t get to know anything either…

(Even so, a mystery in the warehouse really sounds like Winter Troupe, how to say it…

But, I was really drawn by everyone’s lively performances, I ended up participating with them naturally)

This is not the end…

(Even if the season changes, once more, it’s going to connect to the new season, just like Winter.

What’s there behind this key I wonder…

I’m really looking forward to it.)

Then, let’s go and try to find the key’s owner once more.

<End of Chapter 5>

[archeiafaith]

Merry Christmas from Sam and Dean!

Sam and Dean Go to the Christmas Diner

A One-shot Holiday fanfic for all your jolly needs, I hope you enjoy and Happy Holidays to you all!

When Sam came out of the bathroom, Dean was already dressed for the day advertising his not-so-surprising plaid shirt and white undershirt (they go hand in hand). “Hey, there is a local diner not too far from here. Want to catch some breakfast?” Dean asked. 

Sam reluctantly agreed, and that’s why he found himself walking up to a small, antique-looking diner with his brother in tow. The outside of the diner was white with red streaks aligning the top and the bottom rim of the restaurant, while the front of the building had a big, neon red sign displaying the name of the diner which read, ‘The Shaky Shack.’ A bit of an odd name, Sam thought. 

Christmas was around the corner, only a few weeks away, so the entire diner was decorated in a plethora of Holiday spirit. Candy-colored lights aligned the roof and outer edge of the building, creating the perfect loop. The windows were decorated with painted reindeer, elves, mistletoe, and Santa himself sitting in an extravagant sleigh.

 The second the brothers entered the restaurant, the smell of hot chocolate and peppermint wafted through their noses. The jukebox in the corner blasted ‘Rocking Around the Christmas Tree,’ and the waitresses were wearing Christmas themed uniforms decked out in red and green. 

Sam and Dean passed the bar top and walked over to the booths in the back near the Christmas tree surrounded by colorful, wrapped presents. 

“Wow, now all they need is the big man himself handing out candy canes and this place would be perfect,” Dean announced sarcastically as he took a seat across from Sam in the red patent leather booth. 

Sam smirked at his comment and took a moment to really take in his scenery. Dean was right, Sam thought this place was a bit overzealous when it came to the Holidays, but Sam also saw it as refreshing and charming. 

While the brothers awaited their server, Sam decided to confront Dean about the whereabouts of their vacation destination, “So, Dean, where precisely are we going? You didn’t exactly leave me much to go on. All you said was that we were heading north and that I should ‘Stop bothering me about it, Sammy. Just drop it,’” Sam imitated his brother by exaggerating his words, acting childish. 

“Real mature Sam,” Dean responded by simply nodding his head and stretching his arms across the booth’s seat, “sorry to break it to you buddy, but I’m not telling you anything.”

“Why not?” Sam asked harshly. Dean was bothering him with all this mystery. Sam’s eyebrows began to crease over his sullen hazel eyes. 

“Because Sammy boy, that would ruin the surprise and illusion of this wonderful adventure I have in store for us,” Dean said confidently. His attention then turned to look for their server, his head scanned the diner from left to right. 

The restaurant was moderately busy, most of the customers being senior citizens, with the offset of a young couple. Dean noticed a cute, young woman sitting a couple of booths ahead of them all by her lonesome; she looked up and caught Dean looking her over and he smoldered at her as a response. The blonde woman immediately looked away blushing. 

“Hello, earth to Dean. Could you please stop ogling poor girls, and come back to the conversation at hand,” said Sam snapping his fingers in front of Dean’s face. 

Dean smacked Sam’s hand away and turned his attention back to his brother’s stupid face, “Hey, don’t get pissy with me just because you have no game.”

Sam rolled his eyes and was about to rebuttal a response when their waitress arrived. Their waitress was a short, stockier woman with stringy, ashen colored hair all tied up into a messy bun. She looked to be in her late fifties, and she had on classic, ruby red lipstick with a pair of glasses that sat upon the tip of her nose. Sam looked to her ornament themed name tag that had the name ‘Mira’ printed in an elusive, cursive print. 

“I apologize for the wait boys, my name is Mira and I’ll be taking care of you today,” her voice was rough and sounded as if she had been smoking for the past thirty years. “happy holidays! It’s such a wonderful time to spend with your loved ones. So are we celebrating anything special? Maybe an anniversary?” Mira asked smiling at the two of them, insinuating them to be a couple themselves. 

“Oh God no,” Dean started shaking his head side to side vigorously, “we’re just brothers.” 

Sam agreed by smiling awkwardly and muttered a small, “Yeah.”

“Really? My, my, I am so sorry. That is my mistake, you look the type is all,” Mira responded by avoiding eye contact, and she grabbed her notepad out of her red apron that was tied around her waist. “Well then, what can I get for you two brothers?” She asked. 

“I’ll start,” Dean began by flipping to the breakfast side of the menu, “I’ll take your Simply Eggtravagant deluxe with an extra side order of bacon, please. And coffee, black. Oh, and do you happen to have any specials going on like, I don’t know, pie for instance, ”Dean finished his order by longingly looking at their server. Sam thought Dean looked like a four-year-old who was about to get his new, favorite toy for Christmas. 

“Sorry son, we are fresh out of pies this morning. Old Billy over there,” Mira said pointing to an elderly gentleman asleep on the bar top with his head sitting in his breakfast, “he ordered all the pie we had in stock and ate them all at once! He was trying to prove that he used to be a professional eater in his prime, ” she laughed, ”of course, all the boys of the joint bet that he couldn’t even finish one pie by himself. And well, you know the rest.”

“That was quite an intriguing story, Miss. I’ll be sure to remember that as I’m NOT enjoying my very-deserved pie,” Dean stated, annoyance edged every word he spoke, his eyes were as sharp as knives. 

Mira looked taken aback; her mouth opened and closed for not having the words of what to say next. 

“I-I think my brother was just joking,” Sam jumped in trying to ease the situation, “he is such a kidder. We can’t keep this guy from cracking the big ones,” Sam laughed awkwardly. Sam could tell that what he said didn’t help at all, since both Mira and Dean were looking at him as if he suddenly grew a tail and turned into a donkey. 

“I’ll just uhm,” Sam coughed, “take the number two with a coffee, please,” Sam finished his order scratching his cheek. He figured it was best to just move this along as fast as possible. 

The waitress leisurely took down their orders and grabbed their menus. She smiled half-heartedly and walked away without saying a word. 

“That was awkward,” Dean said after a minute of silence. 

“Uhh, yeah I would say so Dean,” Sam said frustrated, “what the hell was that all about? You were so rude and she didn’t deserve that at all. Why do you always insist on purging your baggage for everyone around you? Honestly, Dean, you’re starting to act irrationally,” Sam looked at Dean with his somber, determined eyes the whole speech. It left Dean no choice, but to stare and listen. 

“Whoa, you mind taking it down a notch, Betsy? You have been up in my ass all day and I have had it up to here, ” Dean motioned his left arm up over his head and used his hand as a makeshift bar, ”when you're in pain with your weird visions, I get that. But, Sam lately you've been throwing these tantrums every damn day and I honestly don't want to deal with it anymore. This time is precious, vacation time, prime time, MY time.” Dean paused to close his eyes and exhaled through his nose, ”Now I haven't been able to get any proper sleep, ” he continued his voice rising with every syllable, ”I have you breathing down my neck every second, let's not forget who we had to cremate last, and now this freaking lady!” Dean nods in the direction of their waitress, ”tells me that I can't have any pie! When you know that was the whole reason I wanted to come to this diner in the first place!” Dean finished exhaustedly sitting back into his seat. 

The whole diner went silent, even the jukebox had stopped playing ending with a loud record scratch. All eyes were on the two brothers sitting in the back booth. Sam looked at the other patrons and simply gestured a small wave, he gave a tense smile and a nod as a response to their piercing on looking. 

At that moment Mira came over carrying their drinks and food on one large tray. She wobbled as she walked and she shakily placed the tray onto a nearby table. She grabbed the two coffees and placed them in front of both Sam and Dean, the creamers coming right after in the middle of the table.

”The Simply Eggtravagant deluxe, ” Mira said, holding Dean’s meal with both palms. She was having a little trouble holding on due to how large the serving was. Mira placed his meal down in front of him and went straight for his side order of bacon.

”Wow, I'm impressed. That was fast, questionably fast, ” Dean questioned while rubbing his chin. He smiled when the elderly waitress placed the entirety of his meal in front of him. Food will always be a cure to Dean’s grumpiness, Sam wished Dean could have gotten his pie too. 

”Hmm? Yes, son, speed is what we are known for, ” Mira responded and pointed to a wooden sign displaying the words, ‘It’s better than fast food, its Diner food,’ written in a bold print. 

Mira finished passing out their meals and gave a polite curtsy while wiping her hands on her apron. ”Enjoy your meal boys, give me a holler if you need anything else, ” she said while walking away. 

At this point, the rest of the restaurant went back to their own private conversations, most of them discussing the mere recent event amongst each other. 

Dean immediately stuffed his face with every piece of food he could muster. He ate ravenously going from food to drink simultaneously, his cheeks constantly bloated. Sam stared at Dean with a look of disgust, the younger of the two yet to have touched his food. 

Dean looked up at Sam’s gaping, with his fork at the ready, “What? I’m hungry,” Dean stated matter of factly, his mouth too full to speak properly. 

Sam blinked away from the scene in front of him and tried to focus on his own meal. Hesitantly, he began to sip from his coffee and then progressed to nibble on his eggs and hash browns; Sam wasn’t very hungry nowadays. 

Dean hasn’t spoken a word yet; his focus was completely on the food in front of him. He would hum happily here and there after taking a particularly delicious bite. At the rate Dean was eating, he finished rather quickly, but not surprisingly. Dean smiled teeth and all while he happily rubbed his belly, “Man, I needed that,” Dean said, satisfied with a burp, leaning back into his seat. 

Sam indifferently took another small bite of his eggs and placed his fork down. He covered the rest of his food with a napkin, indicating that he was finished. 

“That’s it? That’s all you’re eating? Come on Sam, you can do better than that,” Dean encouraged pushing Sam’s plate closer to his side of the table. 

“No thanks, I had enough. I’m full,” Sam shrugged his shoulders and looked away. 

Dean noticed this as Sam’s usual response to most things lately. “Okay, well, I think you should at least take the rest with you. Maybe you’ll get hungry later,” said Dean already motioning toward their waitress to grab her attention. 

“No, wait, Dean, it’s okay really. I don’t want to take it home, it would only go to waste. Just leave it, please?” Sam pleaded to him and looked at Dean sincerely. 

I’ll drop it, for now, Dean thought. 

Sam and Dean decided it was time to leave and proceeded to shuffle out of their booth. They passed the other customers, Dean walking confidently with his head up high. While Sam was walking a few steps behind Dean, slouching his shoulders, almost as if he was trying to hide inside himself. 

Dean walked by the booth with the cute, blonde woman he saw earlier. He noticed she was now accompanied by another gentleman sitting across from her. This didn’t seem to faze Dean as he continued his stride and winked at the woman as he passed down her aisle. She blushed again and looked down, her male company eyeballed the back of Dean’s head as he passed.

Sam was a witness to the whole scene and awkwardly shuffled past the couples’ booth with a side glance. He rushed up a couple of steps, so he would catch up with Dean. 

They both walked up to the cashier near the front doors, paid their bill, got back into their Chevy Impala, and drove off. 

**This is part of a larger fanfiction story called Sam and Dean Take A Vacation

Check it out on Wattpad:)** (link in chat)

[cherry3point14]

Stranger Than Fanfiction: Ch 3

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Dean x Reader Warnings: Meta baby. Pure meta. Word count: 2,100. Chapter Summary: Your google search turns up something unexpected. A/N: No author in this one for... reasons. Also this one is kind of short and lame. A means to an end if you will, but trust me, Ch 4 is a doozy. P.S it’s nearly 3am so Chapter 4 will be up when I wake up, ya dig.

Ao3 if you prefer

It’s almost funny how dramatic the voice in your head wants to be about those suited criminals and yet it doesn’t care to elaborate on anything important. Like, say, your imminent death. The mention of it was so casual, calm, but a couple of weirdos want to pretend to be insurance adjusters and suddenly it’s all pretty prose and run-on sentences. Flowery language about broad-shouldered men in roaring muscle cars that are going to change your life. She’d kept going while you’d interviewed Maggie Hall. She’d harped on and on about how you couldn’t stop thinking about them.

Of course, you couldn’t stop thinking about them, she wouldn’t shut up about them.

After an entire monologue about the way the paper felt in your hands and could never be replaced by computers—purists are the worst—you finally get to leave. That's when you get some respite. You’re walking out into the late afternoon sun and thanking Maggie for her time and it's bliss. Maggie's story sounds a little off, after years doing this you have this gut instinct for when you should investigate further. Funnily enough, you have drama in your life that you’ll submit a valid claim anyway. Just so you can get this cursed case out of your hair. You might even hurry it through the system before the thing has the chance to kill you.

You’re still not sure how a case could kill you. You’re a pencil pusher at best and the interview with Maggie is an excellent example of the majority of your fieldwork, obviously excluding the criminals at the start. Unless your demise is death by papercut.

For now, you’ve given up trying to fathom out the voice you’re hearing, especially since she's chosen to once again go radio silent. If she won’t say anything useful, like say how not to die, then you were going to have to figure out how to skip ahead on your own. Since she kept talking about the imposters you’d met that day, they seemed to be an excellent place to start.

CNK 80Q3. Ohio plates. That's as much as you know without google.

That evening you set yourself up in the same way you would to work from home. There's a desk in the corner of your dining room with a chair that offers enough lumbar support for the longest of research sessions. Although it’s your personal laptop and there’s not normally a large glass of wine sitting next to you when work.

After it powers on you’re assaulted by the usual pop-ups; windows you forgot to close last time and your emails. Procrastinating is not a new routine, and you’re on a mission, so they all get minimized instead of closed completely. Then you open a new browser window and a stark google homepage stares back at you. A hopeful new beginning.

CNK 80Q3. You’re genuinely surprised that she hasn’t started talking again to describe the change in the air as you type in the plate number. Or some drivel about the way your fingers emphasize each letter and number. It’s all there happening anyway, making the moment foreboding, but your narrator doesn’t seem care.

The first row of results are images. Weirdly its images of the license plate itself. That doesn't strike you as odd at first glance and then you think about it a little more. Why are there so many pictures of this particular license plate? Who is running around taking these pictures? You're pretty sure if you typed in your own plate number there would be no pictures of it. And then you see some shopping results where you can actually buy the plate. While the online shops might explain the images, it only really poses more questions. Why are so many people buying that license plate? What’s so special about it?

You take a sip of your wine before you scroll further, savoring the taste as well as the way it relaxes your shoulders. You don't own any 'fun' novelty coasters that say it but you're inclined to agree with the statement you've heard before. Wine really does make everything better.

You’re not yet into the murky depths of page 2 but you’re far enough down the page now to make it past the sponsored results. These links come thick and fast from websites that all seem to have one word in common. Supernatural.

Then you see your salvation. A page called Supernaturalwiki—the link is simply titled: Impala—and you stop scrolling, a grateful sound slipping past your lips as you do. Wiki, you know that word. Like Wikipedia. Wikipedia has references and moderators', clear and concise explanations. This was the easy way out you were looking for.

That’s what you hope as you click on the link anyway. Your naivety lasts all of twenty seconds before the page loads. With its stock image of a 1967 Chevrolet Impala, and a quote about it being the most important object in the universe.

Or it's the most important object in some books at least.

Further clicking and longer sips of wine reveal it’s a series of books called Supernatural—with the title of the wiki you should have seen that coming. These were story after story of ghosts and demons and angels? There are pages that describe monsters, urban legends, and two men. Sam and Dean Winchester. They each have dedicated pages with their whole lives mapped out.

Sam and Dean are fictional brothers and apparently the heroes. Each of their respective profiles begins with an illustrated image from book covers, and then a series of quotes that contradict those pictures. Then their lives are intricately detailed, or should you say they are chronologically recorded according to each book. You would read their histories in full if it wasn't for how tiny the scroll bar is, indicating that these profile pages are ridiculously long.

You sit back in your chair and take a deep breath in the hopes of it being soothing. Or answering all your questions. It does neither. You have no answers and more stress.

This went beyond two men pretending to do your job now. Those guys were driving around in a car with fictional license plates. What was this? Some weirdly immersive cosplay? Was that something Sam and Dean did in the books?

Even so, those two guys weren’t roleplaying at comic con, they were actually in that woman's home. If you hadn't arrived they could have done anything. They could be doing anything now.

There's a ding from the kitchen which means the frozen meal you’d thrown in the oven is ready. Not that you stop thinking about this while you go and grab it because the more you think the less sense everything makes. Like why is a narrator who, until now, was obsessed with those guys, so very silent all of a sudden?

Back at your desk with hot food, you head back to google to see if you can buy these books anywhere because knowledge is power. Unfortunately, not even Amazon has copies. It’s only when you add the term “ebook” to your search do you find a Tumblr blog with links to download all the files, split into two categories. Published and unpublished. There are a lot of Supernatural books and from the looks of it there’s an equal amount of drama over how the unpublished ones got out.

You start downloading them without consciously making a decision to read them. Downloading kind of happens because your macaroni cheese is too hot for your mouth to handle yet, and your hands still need something to do. Besides you didn’t necessarily need to read all of them, if they were truly terrible you’d delete the files. No harm, no foul. But if this was the only way to get answers then you and your kindle were going to be pretty busy this weekend.

“Morning Laura.” Nobody likes Mondays, yet you have a little bounce in your step having made your usual green tea, got dressed, and driven to work in complete and utter silence. In fact, you’d heard nothing all weekend. The caveat was that, yes, you’d spent all weekend reading those books.

You liked reading and without discrimination. Trashy romance novels at the airport? You betcha. Fantasy books thicker than your mattress? Sure thing, order a pizza. But a mystery? Well, those were your favorite. Of course, the detective needed some sort of sketchy backstory and there had to be a fishy amount of red herrings. Most importantly there had to be something to solve. It was an elevation of your day to day life and you always get sucked in. In your job, you try to solve the most benign mysteries; people faking insurance claims. More often than not there isn’t even a mystery to solve, someone really did slip and break something. So, a mystery that grabs you out of nowhere is like a promotion for you, a challenge.

That had been how those Supernatural books had dragged you in. Ghosts and ghouls you could take or leave, you might have stopped reading if that’s all there was. Then this Carver Edlund went and put in that damn side plot about their missing father. It was too enticing, addicting. From the cryptic disappearance to the indecipherable journal of clues. John Winchester would be the death of you.

Or case 24-01 would be. The jury was still out on that.

And now it’s Monday. You’ve heard nothing more from the voice in your head—it may have been a low-level case of carbon monoxide poisoning—and the boys are so close to figuring everything out you can taste it. Technically they know John is alive by now, you finished Shadow some point yesterday afternoon and felt yourself choke up at the emotional goodbye with a father they just got back. But they still have no clue what he's up to, which is a hideous funhouse mirror reflection of your own life. Hopefully, by the time they figure out John’s game plan, you'll have your life figured out too. And fingers crossed figuring everything out will involve staying alive as well.

“You look like you’re feeling better this morning.” Laura is her perky self, always a little too happy for this side of 9am.

Oh right, you went home sick on Friday. You should remember things like that. “I think it was a bug or something I ate maybe.”

“Sure, sure. One of those convenient Friday bugs.” She winks at you.

If she accused you of that say, last week, you’d have laughed it off given that's a thing everyone has in common; trying to skip out on work. So, that's what you try to do this side of the weekend. You push out something that hopefully resembles a regular person's laugh like you’re in on the joke. You have to fake it because you’re still thinking about Providence. The book you’d finished that morning instead of watching the news. You’re still wondering if Sam is starting to move on after Jessica. 

Needless to say, you understand now. The many fan blogs and the artwork you’d glanced at before you started reading. All those things that you’d disregarded as an unhealthy fascination for a bunch of books. Now you’re one of them, obsessed. Walking into the office with your kindle tucked in your bag and Salvation just begging to be read.

This goes beyond finding John. That plot got its hooks in you but you’ve known John was alive since Home and you’re still reading. You could also blame this on your general love of reading except it goes beyond that too. Honestly, it’s hard to pick one thing. They’re really great books. Sam and Dean have such turbulent lives but they still have each other. They’re snarky, lost, angry, and caring. They’re both so different but the sibling relationship is so real. And the stories go beyond a new monster every book, there are these huge interesting story arcs that you couldn't stop reading if you tried. John Winchester had been the first example of these addictive plot points, but not the only one.

“Y/N?”

You snap your head up, “sorry, sorry.”

“I was only saying you’re going to be here all day then, lunch?”

Even though Laura must see the decision on your face she still pretends to hope until you start speaking. “Actually I have a lot to catch up on so I’ll probably be working through. Tomorrow?”

She smiles brightly and nods, “sure thing.”

As bad as you feel about lying to Laura she has presented you an opportunity. Everyone thinks you were sick on Friday. They even think you're behind on your work and they don’t know you’ve already conducted the initial interview. Which makes your decision to sit at your desk and prop your kindle up next to your screen even easier. Nobody would notice the difference between you concentrating or reading. If you skip lunch you might be able to get to Bloodlust out of the way too.

Continue to Chapter 4.

5eva tags: @divadinag @darthdeziewok @fluentinfiction @witch-of-letters @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @magnitude101999 @alexwinchester23  Dean babes: @thewinchesterchronicles @akshi8278​ @bloodydaydreamer StrangerThanFiction tags: @jaylarkson

[jealousbitchdennis]

Since we didn't end with jealous Dennis and Mac with a boyfriend in TGGR, I'm prepared to settle back in for a normal, silly season of classic MacDen shenanigans. Which is perfect! That's exactly what I want! I want each episode to be just a little more cute and a little more clear about how comfortable and deep Mac and Dennis's bond has really become. I want insight into how their texting relationship has regrown since Dennis came back from North Dakota. I want homoerotic tension ala the old Hollywood Noir films in TJAMT. I want explicit, over the top, on the nose metaphors in Solves Global Warming with Dennis making faces in the background because he's the only one who notices only for those faces to fade into little shrugs and nods and maybe even smiles to himself because it doesn't scare him anymore. I want little domestic moments all through the whole thing, references to the movies they watch and each others' opinions on coffee.

And then I want them to play laser tag in Waiting For Big Mo. It's dark, and the adrenaline is pumping, and they've been waiting forever for this Mo guy that Frank insists is going ti be here any second but clearly is never going to show. They started a game with the promise of restarting should the mysterious man actually make an appearance, and they've all been joshing around and pissing each other off to pass the time, teams forming and breaking every few minutes, and it feels natural. Classic Gang stuff.

I want the atmosphere to get to Dennis, the annoying but familiar sounds of the arena pinging off in the background, and the constant, comforting presence of Mac at his side. A noise a few yards away puts them on high alert, and without a word, Mac yanks his arm, and the two of them duck to the side, finding a short lived safe haven behind one of the stacked-cube obstacles. When Dennis looks up, the neon lights break through the shadows and paint Mac's face in slices of inhuman colors, blue and green, exaggerating his cheekbones and putting a synthetic shine in his eyes. His hair is all ruffled from the gameplay, and they're both panting from running around so much.

It makes Dennis's eyes go wide and he starts to get that feeling he's been fighting for a while - the same one from the restuarant and the RPG and... he starts to lift a hand to Mac's face. It's so easy, even though before it always seemed so hard. Maybe that means he's finally ready... for whatever comes next... Then the lights go up, and he freezes, and they whip around to find Frank walking up with a big cheesy grin, Charlie and Dee grumbling furiously on his either side.

"Hey, assholes! Look! I told you he'd show any second. We're starting again - with real teams this time. Hope you losers are ready to get your ass beat!"

The three of them part, and a moderately fit and attractive man in his forties steps through from behind to apologize for being late, it was a family emergency or something, when he stops short. Dennis follows his eyeline to Mac, who stares back with his mouth hanging open.

"Mac?" The man starts to grin, a little taken aback.

"Wait," Frank interrupts, waving his hands around. "You know this homo?"

Just the look on Mac's face alone confirms it. Mac and the random man that Frank found on craigslist who knows his name - Big Mo, according to Frank, Morgan according to Mac - marvel over running into each other for a second, before Dee gets the bright idea to cut in and demand to have it explained how the two jerkwads know each other anyways. Mac stops short, fumbling for a moment, and the two men lock eyes. It's weird and obvious and Dennis is starting to lose feeling in his legs.

"Well," Big Mo says, looking to Mac, who immediately flushes.

"Right... so..."

"Well?" Dee prompts.

"I mean..." he starts, but doesn't get any further.

"Oh!" Charlie claps, looking between the two, then scrunches his nose. "Ohhhh..."

"Oh! Woof," Dee grimaces. "You and him?"

Mac glares at them.

"What?" Frank narrows his gaze, looking around at each of them. "I don't get it."

Charlie turns to answer his troll-like roommate, voice sliding a bit higher as he uses made up terms to explain that Mac and Big Mo are, in fact, gay lovers. Dennis can feel his brows furrowing, and his scowl deepening but he can't do anything to stop it. Something, a feeling, an impulse, is clawing at his ribs. Dee corrects Charlie's terminology with a sick combination of glee and repulsion contorting her expression, and Mac practically trips over himself to correct her and then tell all three of them to shut up because that's not it, okay?

"Actually," he says, "we didn't just hook up, okay? We went on a date. We dated. I'm dating material now, so."

The response he gets is a chorus of "Oof," and "Awkward," and "Wait, Big Mo's a gay? I hired a gay guy off Craigslist?"

Mac scowls, agitated. "No, no, not awkward! Not oof, because it didn't end badly!"

"It didn't end at all," Big Mo notes, linking their hands. "We're still dating"

"Exactly!"

"What?" The word rips from his throat like it's been waiting impatiently to escape. Dennis can't even appreciate finally finding his voice, as everyone stares at him. He only has enough eyes to stare back at Mac.

Big Mo nods, oblivious to the tension. "Yeah. We've been seeing each other about - what was it, babe? Three months?"

The entire gang balks before losing their shit. "WHAT?"

"No! No, we. I mean, our first date was..." Mac's eyebrows jump. He clears his throat awkwardly, before untangling their hands and wrapping an arm around Big Mo's waist. "Okay. So... guys... I guess I have something to tell you."

"Oh, do you?" Charlie drawls.

Mac swats at him with his gun. "I have a... boyfriend, now. And, uh, this is him."

Dennis feels the gun slip out of his fingers. The others have already processed the information, are responding and poking fun and telling him his boyfriend must be an asshole for making them wait so long, and arguing with each other about the game they've already played and whether it's Mac's fault seeing as it's his boyfriend that Frank hired who ended up late, and all Dennis can think is, seriously? That's it? They're just going to nod their heads and except this massive, earth-shattering shift to the status quo as if they were in any way prepared for this to happen? Seriously? Seriously?

"The laser tag arena will be closing in fifteen minutes," a voice interrupts their thoughts over the loudspeaker. "Please wrap up your games and return your guns to the stations, located at the front desk, or to any of our standing attendants by the arena exits."

The words echo in his head as Charlie starts yet another fight with Frank, and Dee complains over the top about being undervalued as a player because she's a woman. He can't seem to stop staring at where Mac's hand rests on Big Mo's hip. Nobody else seems to have heard the overhead announcement. They have to go soon, but nobody else seems to even realize. They can't stay, but nobody is moving. Only Mac's brow furrows, and he turns to look at Dennis.

"Hey, did you hear that? Should we get going?"

Dennis blinks before forcing a smile. "Right, yeah, of course. No, of course. Actually, you know what? You two go on ahead."

"You sure?" Mac's mouth turns down.

Dennis keeps his smile pinned. "Course! We'll catch up."

He nods, brow furrowed, shrugging and taking Big Mo with him through the exit, leaving Dennis to stand there, like an idiot, watching after him as their three other idiots blow his ear drums out with their incessant screaming.

[ohnohetaliasues]

Stones to Abbigale {Ch.5}

(Kat)

I still wanna die.

I sat alone in my room thinking about all that happened in the last day. As I slid deeper into thought a knock sounded at my door.

“Dinner’s ready James” my mom said.

I responded “Lentils again?”

This is also still not how you write or format dialogue.

She opened the door and looked at me with a blank facial expression “We have to talk, come to the table.”

As I left my room, I saw a man sitting at the table next to my sister. Trying not to be rude I said hello and he smiled responding loudly “Hello! Nice to meet you James!”

I asked my mom “So who is this gentleman?”

No teenager talks like this. At least no teenager I’ve met.

My mom responded, “Go ahead and sit down James.”

I slid out the old-fashioned second-hand store chair I always sat in at the table and waited for my mom to explain.

I don’t give a shit where you bought the chair or what style it is. Just say chair. Those details are unnecessary.

“This is Rick, the reason you haven’t seen much of him is because he lives on the other side of the mountains all the way in Spokane,” my mom said.

I smiled feeling slightly awkward and replied, “Oh, alright, cool.”

My sister immediately mocked me “Oh, cool mom duh! You’re such a dweeb James.”

There was no point in being that rude, Lisa.

Despite her bratty insult, I could see she too felt awkward about Rick being so spontaneously introduced to us and was just trying to distract.

Yeah, I agree, this is strange.

“Rick and I have been dating for quite a few months now and are starting to become quite serious” my mom said, clearly seeking our approval.

Rick added “So yeah, it’s really cool to finally meet you, your mom talks a lot about you”.

This...

This is the first this woman is telling her kids of this? She hasn’t told them she’s going to probably Spokane or somewhere in between for dates? They just don’t question it? This is bullshit.

I smiled and nodded while thinking about how odd it was my mom had never mentioned him.

Yeah, good to know I’m not the only one who thinks this is weird.

Rick proceeded to tell us stories about him hunting animals, his upper-level position at a construction company based out of Spokane and continued to remind us how happy he was to be meeting us. As far as I could see he wasn’t a bad guy but as usual, I didn’t expect much knowing most everyone puts on their friendliest mask for first impressions. I’m sure my sister was thinking pretty much the same thing I was, he wasn’t my mom’s first post-dad boyfriend.

My mom inquired, “So how’s your life going James?”

I replied “Fine.”

Rick asked, “Got a girlfriend?” I didn’t respond.

Why in the fresh hell is this the topic of conversation?

I just kept my head down, looking at my plate. My mom looked at me with a proud smile, “James is more of the mysterious type Rick, he doesn’t talk about his relationships.”

Oh, give me a goddamn break.

Rick then said “Oh yeah? Well if you find a lady half as good as your mom, I’d say you’re set.”

My sister interrupted “Aren’t you seeing that messed up emo chick James?”

There is no point in being that rude.

Looking over at my sister with a blank face I said, “Aren’t you seeing every guy at school Lisa?”

Oh my god. Why are you slut-shaming your sister?

Lisa looked horrified and my mom responded “James!”

Not knowing what else to say. Rick was the only one still smiling at the table at that point. Moderately upset by what Lisa said I asked to be excused and went to bed.

As I climbed on the bus the next day Davis hollered “Praise be to James! Our hero has arrived” I smiled as I always did. I hated loving his hilarious lines;

They aren’t hilarious. They’re just... Annoying.

they were kind of a tradition for Davis. Every time I stepped on the bus, he would yell them. Even when I wanted to be upset he always found a way past the walls I had built, knowing exactly what to say every time.

As I sat next to him he said, “I’ve been missing your face a lot Mr. James, I’m trying to figure out ways to compete with your skates.”

Compete?

What?

I smiled and said “You’re one of the only reasons I ride the bus Davis, you’re doing just fine.”

Davis then jumped up and yelled, “You hear that everyone, my best buddy thinks I’m pretty fantastic!”

I laughed, wishing to myself I had more friends like him.

Davis makes me want to die.

Also, that interaction was very stale, but moving on.

As I approached my history class, I could see Mr. Hanson waiting in the hall. I tried to walk by him unnoticed but he said, “Not so fast, you need to go see the guidance counselor.”

???

I asked why and he replied, “It’s about that fight you got in. Ms. Robertson is waiting.”

Okay fair.

I proceeded to the office where there was a line of three people ahead of me.

That isn’t a big line, bro.

It wasn’t due to bad scheduling, Ms. Robertson was just outmatched by the school population and considering she was the only person most students knew to get free condoms and/or advice from she was regularly seeing visitors.

Why does she give out condoms and not the nurse?

“James Patrick!” she said aggressively as I approached the old wood and glass door. I smiled out of politeness as she turned to the others and tossed a bundle of condoms in their direction.

“These are a last resort, abstinence first!” she said as she stood by the door waiting for me to enter.

One of the boys standing at the door said “I actually need advi...” but she slammed the door before he could finish speaking.

Okay. Don’t do your job I guess.

“Have a seat James,” she said. I sat down and the room filled with a few awkward seconds of silence.

She continued, “So it looks to me that you’re healing up ok.”

I replied confirming I was fine.

She then said “I’ve heard both sides of the story and have concluded that your friend Jason is destined for not so great things if he keeps up his attitude.”

My face remained still, emotionless really. I just sat silently listening. She asked, “What direction do you want to go with your future?”

I replied, “I’ve heard really great things about up.” It was like my joke hit a brick wall.

She seemed only sarcastically amused and continued speaking, “But seriously, I was told you turned down a TA position which I personally recommended to Mr. Hanson.”

I replied, “I just wanted to stay in art class.”

She replied “With Mrs. Stanley?”

I nodded and she laughed. “So who’s the girl?” she asked.

I was surprised that she concluded so quickly it was even about a girl. But then again I was just one of thousands of students, we like to think romance is unique, but we’re most all playing the same game.

Shut your mouth.

Also, I hate how Onion is trying so hard to make this a John Green novel.

It isn’t working.

Ms. Robertson had years dealing with people like me, no wonder she could see right through me.

For a brief moment, Ms. Robertson nearly spoke my mind, she said with a smirk, “Oh come on, lots of us like to think we’re special but that just of shows you how we really aren’t. Especially the brats walking these halls.”

Knowing Ms. Robertson had to keep our conversations private, I replied, “There’s this girl... Abbi. I really like her, and it’s the only class I have with her.”

Ms. Robertson was no longer smirking now that I told her who I was interested in. She sat up and looked down at her desk.

Oh no.

She moved some items around and stopped suddenly, she then looked me in the eyes and said  “Listen to me carefully, I can’t tell you anything about Abbi but I can give you advice, think twice about getting involved with her. I want to see you succeed and some people being a significant part of your life can make that difficult for you.”

I didn’t say anything, in that moment I was lost in thought wondering why she would become so serious over Abbi.

This should be good.

Ms. Robertson then asked, “So, I’m not going to try and change your heart, in my experience that’s more often than not a lost cause, but I can change your schedule to something that fits. Abbi has PE during third period, how about you just stick with Mr. Hanson after your first class of the day. Doing so will replace your art class, and your third period will now be PE, where you can see your precious Abbi.”

It said she asked, but nothing in that paragraph was a question.

While her attitude towards Abbi continued to concern me, I also was curious as to why both Ms. Robertson and Mr. Hanson were so adamant about having me be a TA, but I was grateful they were at least trying to work with me regarding my preferences, so I accepted the schedule change.

It’s so bizarre to me that Ms. Robertson told James to stay away from Abbi and then helped him rearrange his schedule to have more classes with her.

I returned to Mr. Hanson’s class and requested I attend art class one last time before the schedule change. Mr. Hanson agreed and I made my way over to the art trailer once more. As I walked in the trailer door I was happy to see Abbi once again sitting in the same seat she always did.

When I approached her to sit down she pulled out my backpack and shook it, “You’re backpack has a lot of interesting things in it.”

I replied “Oh really, you went through it?”

That’s really weird.

She responded “Yep! And by interesting things I mean nothing, just school junk.” I laughed and asked “Life’s got enough burdens for us to carry, why add physical weight?”

Oh my god my eyes are glazing the fuck over.

She raised her eyebrows and said “Ok smarty, did you like our bear?”

I smiled and replied, “I love it!” She threw her arms up and hugged me.

Why?

Physical contact?

Mrs. Stanley walked in, immediately seeing our hug and said, “If you’re going to suck or eat go find an alleyway. This is a trailer we have god damn dignity!”

s this...

A reference to oral sex?

It’s so poorly executed that I literally just thought of food and was confused.

Not knowing how to react, I looked over at Abbi silently mouthing “Oh my god” to me.

I smiled and sat down with Abbi. Alex walked in the room and gave me a glare, probably because his art partner was still suspended for the fight we had, which meant he had to do it alone. I tried to ignore Alex, all I could think of is that pee jar when I looked at him which still freaked me out.

I hate that that’s what you associate this douchebag with. Or that that is a part of this stupid book.

As class came to a close we gathered our things and began to walk out. “Bye Mrs. Stanley I’ll miss you.” Mrs. Stanley responded calling me the F word,

in her natural offensive fashion and gave the class an awkward, semi-shocked laugh.

Walking outside, Abbi asked, “Why do you think Mrs. Stanley still has a job?”

I replied “Pretty sure everyone feels they’ll guarantee themselves an eternity of torment in the afterlife if they were to fire someone as old as her.”

Abbi replied “Yeah, I guess it would be hard getting a job when you’re resume lists World War I nurse in your work history.”

:/

I laughed so hard I had to stop till I could control it, “Are you ok?” Abbi asked with a nervous smile on her face.

Still laughing, I said “Sorry, sorry.” and continued walking as Abbi looked at me, bewildered by how funny I thought she was. My reaction wasn’t really just about what she said, but the fact that she said it to me. I felt so important and excited when she gave me her attention.

I hate everything.

As we got closer to the gym Abbi was giving me a funny look, as I normally didn’t walk her that far, I said, “Don’t worry, I’m not stalking you, we have the same class now.”

She replied, “Manipulating your schedule to be with someone sounds like stalking Mr. Patrick.”

I said, “Not if you drop Mrs. Stanley.”

She pushed me playfully saying “Jealous!”

???

Jealous about what?

The boys split off to dress in their locker room and the girls did the same. I didn’t have gym clothes with me yet so I just sat down at the bleachers and waited for everyone else to get done putting on their uniforms.

It’s a thing at my school that if you don’t have gym clothes you will be provided with some, but maybe that’s just me.

A deep voice sounded off “What are you doing here kid?” I looked over to see a very tall man in the baggiest gym suit I’d ever seen.

“Hi, I’m James Patrick, I think I have your class now. You can clear it with Ms. Robertson.”

He smiled and said, “Well James Patrick, I’m your gym teacher Mr. Mack.”

I nodded and smiled as he bluntly asked, “You’re that kid who got beat up by Jason?”

I hate having to format this fucking story just to make it easier to read.

Onion, learn to format your own work.

I replied, “Yeah I pushed him after he pushed me and then he started throwing punches.”

He smiled and said “Well, that’s my nephew for you.”

Yikes.

I froze up and blankly stared at Mr. Mack as his words sank in. I swear I could feel my heart skip when I acknowledged his connection to Jason. Seeing the look on my face Mr. Mack continued

“Don’t worry, between you and me, kid’s a prick. Just like his dad.” Mr. Mack chuckled and walked away.

Also, another thing, Onion thinks that if you write a word that might extend onto the next page, you have to write a hyphen in the middle of the word to make it fit. While this is sometimes the case, it’s usually fine unless the word when put onto a new line leaves a large dent in the side of the paragraph. When this isn’t so, it’s just annoying to read.

I felt relief and awkwardly smiled only to see Abbi in the corner of my eye bursting out of the girls’ locker room. She was in her PT uniform

You said you needed gym clothes, but whatever, be inconsistent. Also, that says ‘PT’ uniform, not PE. Did Onion even edit this at all?

and carried a beautiful smile on her face. Running over to me, Abbi sat down and gave me a big hug.

“I’m so glad you’re still in a class with me,” she said. The gym shirt was hiked up her arms so I could feel her skin connect with my neck. The sensation was glorious.

Why... Why?

They’re arms.

My face was beaming from feeling her warmth around me.

I replied, “You will be the one reason I look forward to gym.”

Mr. Mack overheard and interrupted as he stood a short distance away “Hey kid, and I thought we were becoming friends!”

I laughed awkwardly feeling a little weird about him eavesdropping. But then again, it’s much easier to close your eyes than it is to turn off your ears.

Yikes.

Everyone gathered on the gym floor, excluding me. Mr. Mack immediately noticed I was not participating and said “Hey, if you don’t have gear, go in my office and pick out an outfit.”

Like I said earlier, clothes will be provided for you.

I reluctantly got up and walked over to his office where all I realized I would have to sift through a huge pile of mismatching jerseys and sweatpants to get a half-decent outfit.

After changing in the bathroom I walked out to everyone taking part in dodge ball. I could feel the focus of the room shift on my outfit and, just as I expected, I was greeted with laughter.

And it doesn’t tell me what that looks like, so I’m just imagining a metallic 1980′s tracksuit.

“Hey, at least you won’t get your normal clothes sweaty from dodge ball!” Mr. Mack said tossing me a ball as the game was already in play.

Before I could even catch it, Raymon, one of the jocks in the class, smacked me in the side of the head.

Raymon is out.

That’s also not a name I have ever heard of. So there’s that.

Everyone but a few people bust out laughing again as Mr. Mack lurched up and pointed at Raymon screaming

“You’re out Raymon, can’t hit above the shoulders!” Raymon replied with a discouraged snap of his fingers, scowling as he sat on the sidelines.

I’m just imagining him like.

‘aw darn!’

Because nobody snaps their fucking fingers in discouragement unless they’re joking.

It was odd how he broke the rules and hit another person in the head yet pretended to be the victim.

He didn’t pretend to be the victim, though.

I never really understood the human tendency to feel sorry for yourself when you’re being punished for breaking rules you were well aware of.

Oh, because you’re so high and mighty.

Abbi was on my team and we were down to just a few people, I very quickly found out I was quite good at the game, better than I thought at least. I kind of used Abbi as my motivation to do well.

A girl you’ve spoken to only this week. And to add to this, you can count the number of times you’ve spoken to her on one hand.

I imagine it was some kind of evolutionary thing, a man trying to impress his mate with physical performances to demonstrate his superiority over other members of the tribe.

That gif is the only one I can use to express how much that line alone pisses me the fuck off.

That is so sexist?

Primitive?

It’s creepy?

It’s really fucking weird?

Like, Onion, honestly, what the fuck was going through your head that made you think it was a good idea to write that shit? ‘Evolutionary thing’ my ass, if I liked a girl or a guy I’d also want to impress them.

You aren’t special and neither is your shitty pretentious main character.

Okay, moving on.

I kept catching every other ball thrown at me only to return it, hitting a student approximately one out of every three attempts.

‘Approximately.’

Stop trying to make yourself impressive.

I always threw low to decrease the chance of anyone catching my ball. After a while my consistent efforts paid off, our entire team was back in play. Raymon had made his way back in the game on their side but only a small nerdy kid remained in play with him. Raymon would try to catch what we threw but was always a few inches short of reaching the ball as it flew by. A ball smacked the nerdy kid in his ankles and only Raymon was left. He tried to throw a ball at my head again but this time I was ready. Just as the ball flew past me every person with a ball on my side threw theirs at him. In an almost comedic fashion every other ball impacted his chest and below. We were all cracking up over it but Mr. Mack interrupted us letting us know class was over.

Okay so that was hard to imagine as a sequence of events.

Before Abbi ran back to the locker room, she walked up to me and said “Can you call me tonight?” I nodded smiling and she kissed me on the cheek. My mind exploded with excitement. From that single kiss on my cheek my whole body felt light and warm the rest of the day.

After doing my chores later that night I called Abbi like she asked and she answered “Hey you!”

I want to die.

I replied “Not a lot of callers huh?”

She said “Actually I just embarrassed myself on the last call hoping it was you. My grandma felt pretty special for about ten seconds.”

Okay, so there’s another thing I have to keep fixing. When you write dialogue, you put the period at the end of the sentence inside the quotations. Onion keeps putting it outside and it’s driving me crazy.

Also these jokes just make me want to die even more than I already do.

She and I talked for hours; we discussed the plausible absurdity of horoscopes, “The Secret,” the legitimacy of souls, the afterlife and even leprechauns. Very few topics were off-limits.

Wow, you’re making yourself even more pretentious.

Being free to talk about whatever was on my mind felt liberating. Having these conversations with her served as just another reminder that there was someone out there who could really understand me with just as much kindness and acceptance as I did them.

YOU HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER PERSONALLY FOR LESS THAN A GODDAMN WEEK.

STOP.

Before I hung up I said “Abbi, thank you for making my imperfect life feel perfect.”

FUCK YOU.

She laughed at how cheesy the line was only to respond, “Well thank you for being so perfectly imperfect.” I felt a warm smile come across my face and said goodnight.

This whole romance between James and Abbi is really unrealistic and corny and forced.

But the chapter is over, so whatever. I’ll see you guys next time.

~Kat