#your credentials

[littleshopofhorrors-confessions]

I want Audrey Seymour and Orin so bad

~~~

[leathercircuits]

Me listening to the great legends @synthient @pinkwesker @tvboaerosmith @docbot113 @murdertie @requirecookie @maecatt @grrbrainsorwhatever tell the tale about how it was to live during the time where neosmith peaked on Tumblr, Livejournal, FanFiction.net, etc. before it all got lost in the fire.

[blackcrystalball]

Apparently there's some bitch on tiktok that complained about the lack of women GM's within the ttrpg space, before taking a moment to jump down Aabria Iyengar's throat to complain about how the things she says, "leave a bad taste in her mouth." They then proceeded to go on and on about how much they like Brennan and how he would never do/say those things (news flash: he does. Frequently) and I'm just like, what the fuck do you want then.

And like, we all know why they have so much smoke for Aabria and not Brennan. The very least they could do is be real about it, because doing all kinds of bending over backwards to make it seem like they aren't dropping microaggressions everywhere they go is not only not believable, but it's also fucking pathetic. They are not slick, they are not sneaky, they're just mean and disingenuous.

And like, if you're so desperate for more women in the ttrpg space, then going after the best, most popular and main woc in that space is not the move. They weren't even criticizing Fr, they were literally posing double standards, in the same breath that they lament the lack of women in the space.

The entire reason I even got into ttrpg and dropout in the first place is because I saw the first episode of burrows end on YouTube and I was truly mesmerised by Aabria's work. She literally inspired me to try out being a DM, and I wholeheartedly believe that she has done the same for so many other women.

And I'm riding really hard for a woman that does not know me, which is kind of crazy, but that video kind of upset me and I needed to get that off my chest.

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

OH. okay so normally i dont touch discourse with a 20 ft pole, but this has been niggling at my brain tonight and i finally realized why

the people who are mad at qbbh for the memory loss and “dodging consequences” dont understand that he doesnt want to dodge consequences. Like they cant know that, they werent focused on him when he was literally feeding himself to the soul vultures and planning his eventual imprisonment and also. The Many Many Many hints he made towards suicide/sacrifice/Just Fucking Dying.

ccbbh is a subtle roleplayer, he’s been building this shit up for two whole months- it was day FIVE of the eggs going missing that he resolved to do whatever it took (hurting his friends) to get the eggs back. It was day three that he followed in dapper’s footsteps and started feeding himself to the soul vultures (and gaining a Massive headwound beneath his hood in the process- you can only see it if you go on namemc and remove the layers). He’s got impaired judgement. Even the memory issues arent a new thing- i cant remember exactly when they started, but one of the first big moments i remmeber was september 30th where he spent an hour falling into a delusional frenzy searching his base for cameras that he forgot he asked aypierre to plant.

The super murder of purgatory and the memory loss afterwards probably all feels very sudden for people who havent been following his story, but as someone who has been- all of this has been true to character. The only cheap swings he’s made have been combat-based in purgatory, and even the motive for those was built up in rp.

People are calling for consequences, but he has alrwady been experiencing self-inflicted consequences for months. The blue on his usual outfit is blood. This recent memory loss isnt a restart to get away with the atrocities - it is yet another consequence of his egg-protecting complexes and the ways he punishes himself for failing them.

he is NOT a moral character. he’s a demon hiding in plain site. he has eaten people. he has killed people. he understands the cruelty of his actions, and the consequences of them for the loved ones of his victims. but it matters when that harm is being done to his loved ones. he’ll still do it, because he will do anything for the eggs, but it matters, and that means that he has already started the process of self-inflicting those much-demanded consequences

[somewhatstacey]

Every single fan girlie on tumblr rn is like, “oh that’s not him - he’s not got the right eyebrows and/or eyelashes”

Can’t wait to see THAT subject matter expert on the stand 😂

[translucent-at-best]

White Man at Work I Don't Fool With: Wow, Michelle, you have a master's degree in education?

Me: I do.

WMAWIDFW: Oh.

Me: ...

WMAWIDFW: Wow.

Me: So, anyway, the reason I asked you here was...

[stinkymoldman]

When a new fic pops up and i don’t recognize the author, so i start looking through their other fics.

[whentherewerebicycles]

man oh man i have so many thoughts about how insistently (and i think kind of blindly/uncritically) my university pushes us to frame absolutely every type of learning experience we offer to students in the language of "career readiness" and "career-connected learning" and "professional development." i totally get that we have a large first-gen student population who are making a big investment of time & money in a college degree and who want to be sure that doing so will grant them access to greater socioeconomic mobility. and i DO think it is important for us to think about like, ok, long-term, what comes after these experiences or after this four years in college, and what can we be doing to set students up for success as they transition out of college and into the rest of their lives. but like. idk man. i find it really bleak sometimes. just this relentless messaging that the only thing that matters in your adult life is how competitive you are on the job market. and i also think it pushes us to just like, kind of warp or distort the things we are offering students to make them fit under that rubric, or that particular framework for valuing things? like if we want to convince a student to study abroad we can't be like, living abroad is one of the most amazing things you can do. it's so fun/scary/exhilarating/awesome and it will expand your horizons in ways you can't even anticipate and it will expose you to different ways of seeing the world and you will get to interact with people whose perspectives have been shaped by totally different cultures & contexts and it will help you become more independent and more confident in your ability to handle unfamiliar situations and it will give you stories you will remember all your life and you will build strong friendships with the people you meet and you will take cool pictures or buy little knickknacks that remind you of those experiences in your daily life forever and it will motivate you to travel more and when/if you have kids of your own you will probably make it a priority to travel with them if you can or to encourage them to study abroad when they're older because you know how amazing that experience is and you want them to have access to those kinds of life-changing opportunities. like instead of saying any of that we have to say oh this will develop your skills in time management and project management and professional communication with your supervisors and it will give you something impressive to talk about on your resume or in job interviews and blah blah blah. or even if you use a more capacious definition of career readiness that focuses more on habits of mind (like, in the workplace you will sometimes have to navigate complex situations where expectations are not fully clear! you will also likely have this experience living abroad!), it's still just like... idk man... i find it so reductive lol like yeah sure but "get a skill that applies to your job as a project manager or an IT professional or whatever" just feels so much... Less... than the more humanistic appeal to like, this will enrich your life in so many ways, and you will, through these experiences, just become an all-around more emotionally mature, confident, and interesting human being who has engaged in an experience that challenged you and helped you grow. but then i am all in on the humanities and humanism in general so maybe i am biased here and someone who wants to be a software engineer or whatever would be wholly unmoved by that kind of appeal. idk. anyway. it looks like our team is going to be subsumed into our career center in the next year or two so like. what can you really do except to inwardly say "wow i kinda hate this"

[warcoaxed]

On Wearing Your Heart On Your Sleeve

Or: the disjointed post where I diagnose Q!Forever with BPD-like tendencies in regards to Q!Philza.

Anything from this point forward is about the characters only.

continue reading under the cut!

1. On Brunim's entire existence.

One of the first real moments we got with Forever were his interactions with Philza and how he quite instantly got attached to him. While quite comedic at first, this later spirals into straight up obsession.

The basis of this obsession is Brunim Neets, or Forever's ex-husband who's very much not on the QSMP & bears a striking resemblance to our Philza.

It's quite easy to see that Forever is rather attached to Brunim, to the extent that he occasionally believes Philza is Brunim who simply lost his memories.

This leads to the conclusion that Brunim is quite literally Forever's FP ( Favourite Person. )

[ For the uninitiated, an FP is a person who someone with BPD relies heavily on for emotional support, seeks attention and validation from, and looks up to or idealizes. ]

Philza, who Forever uses as a replacement for Brunim, turns into one of Forever's main motives to do things, to gain his attention and love. This also makes Philza one of Forever's FPs, albeit an unhealthier one.

2. On Festa Junina & Forever's relationships.

Festa Junina was another turning point, where Forever entered a relationship that was just to make Philza jealous. Forever has a tendency to impulsively enter relationships and exit them just as fast.

Forever as a character is often categorized as airheaded, but that's very much not true. His emotions are very much a double edged sword, and can act as a source for his strength but also make his interpersonal relationships fall apart.

His stilting of Maximus' feelings is a result of this, where he gets so hyperfocused on Philza, he somewhat ends up using Maximus.

He has a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. This can be said to be true in regards to both Philza and Brunim.

3. On the fear of abandonment & The Wedding (?)

Forever misses Brunim & there is no denying it. It's evident in how much Brunim is mentioned by him, to the extent that even Richarlyson pokes fun at it.

It's quite fair to assume that he feels a little abandoned by Brunim, with them being ex-lovers and Brunim very much not being around on the SMP.

And when you bring Philza to the equation? The Philza who very much wants to leave, the Philza who very visibly doesn't want this?

In comes the Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

The wedding canonically happens while Philza is either tripping on drugs, or simply in his head (have your pick,) where Forever builds a shrine around them, declares them married and then proceeds to try to (badly) gaslight Philza into believing that they got married in Vegas.

His attempts at gaslighting are laughably pitiful, but they're incredibly desperate and frantic. It's almost like he thinks that if he can convince Philza that they're married, he wouldn't leave.

4. On Splitting and the Proposal.

Splitting refers to the difficulty to accurately assess another individual or situation. It can lead to intensely polarizing views of others, for instance, as either very good or very bad. A person typically splits unconsciously or without realizing it. Rather than seeing people in their lives as complex human beings with good, bad, and in-between characteristics, they may apply intensely polarizing or exaggerated labels. To them, their partner may be the “worst partner in the world” one day and the “greatest partner ever” the next.

The real turning point in Forever & Philza's relationship is the proposal following Cellbit & Roier's wedding. Their dynamic between then could easily be described as teasing, but this when things got very real very quick.

Forever asked for Philza's hand in marriage and got rejected ( very harshly at that- Thanks, Phil .)

This lead to a rather drastic reaction from Forever, where he ran to practically throw himself off a cliff, only for Philza to chase him down and stop him. What follows is a rather interesting conversation where we can watch Forever's high-held opinion of Philza practically plummet, where he later proclaims that he never even loved Philza, and how much he wants Philza to explode ( his words, not mine. )

It's almost like a switch has been flipped, with how he goes from happy to very upset, to determined to be president out of spite.

Not as obvious as others, but this can point to a persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

There's probably more I could speak about this, but this is all I can say from the top of my head. Feel free to add things, I enjoy spitballing all kinds of things!

[pushing500]

What's this? A piece of a mysterious ship has crashed near Parish-by-the-Expanse? Hmm, it's making a terrible mess of the landscape. That rotstink might warn raiders away, and we can't have that! Best go and investigate...

Well, I suppose we should have expected something like this. No matter, I'm sure we can easily deal with it... right?

"Infector mouth" does not fill me with confidence...

First | Next | Previous

[perkeleen-lavellan]

I have to say, from my brief foray into the HOTD fandom I can only say, you're all equally toxic and ruin the internet experiences of your own favourite ships by constantly bringing fandom drama into the tags. I have been in some real questionable hot mess fandoms over the years, but considering the newness of the show you guys did in a year what took the whole ass Dragon Age video game series at least 5 to really get going. Congratulations.

[toshio]

Dude why are you so pressed about my ask? My point is that you’re manipulating your photos even if just angles and lighting and yes you see results from push ups everyday but those results don’t outweigh the long-term damage it does to your body. You don’t see it now because you’re still in your 20’s. But the advice you give is dangerous and is going to hurt people. Those people on youtube get the same criticism because they’re giving terrible advice with inflated results.

i’m not pressed over your ask, however i think you clearly are if you’re still sending me long angry messages on anonymous instead of coming out of hiding and having a civilized conversation with me.

my main frustration with your original message was the false accusation that my photos were edited, as if i have the time to literally import my iphone camera selfies into photoshop and alter my physical appearance to look more muscular than i really am.

anyway, doing pushups is a great exercise that requires no equipment or gym. to anyone reading this, if you want to start your fitness journey and develop a chest, i think it’s a great start. i don’t know why this anonymous person in particular is so pressed and vehemently against simple & effective home workouts (some people can’t afford gym memberships so i think this is a great solution) but i hope they find peace. LOL

[thewrongmoon]

also, while i'm burning bridges, a very prominent byler here i used to be close with is lying about going to film school. don't trust her, lol.

[loki-zen]

working in the NHS really underlines how white libraries are

[anonymusbosch]

today after work i sat in the car in the parking lot for 30 straight minutes staring at my phone ("vegetarian options near me") staring out the windshield at the gray sky (slowly getting darker) staring at my phone ("hi [manager] i was not cool with") and staring out the windshield trying to swallow some seething and a headache to drive back with a cool head.

i don't - i don't get angry. not really. frustrated, grumpy, irked, annoyed - sure. i am not moved to out-loud anger: raised voice, yelling, outbursts. whatever rises I am capable of biting back.

kept my cool long enough to get a Vegetarian Options Near Me (note: bad) and long enough after that to go buy ingredients that i can make food with in a hotel microwave. took care of some of the needs of the flesh. called partner. could relay nothing but the insanity of the work conversations and, in speaking, heard again the words that had driven me to muteness earlier

"I would have just said 'what the fuck' out loud" says the phone.

and I had, alone, in my car, quietly, "what is wrong with you" and "what the fuck" and "what is your problem", but not in conversation.

for which i am giving myself several gold stars today and resolving for tomorrow:

* literally leave the conversation and walk away while they're talking to you if they don't give you grace to leave

* don't play their games

* data, document, propose solution. ask for nothing. especially permission to do your damn job

* buy a fucking soldering iron.

[vanglaggle]

you're literally so real for the xvials thing it gives me so many weird vibes like. whrhhryuck /neg (coming from an ink fictive idk if that gives me any credentials or whateverr)

I'm happy to see someone who gets it !!!!!

yay!!! thank you i'm very good at being upset with things that wouldn't make a difference in real life situations