#you're never alone
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rip moonbin. (raw and unedited, bcs I need to get it out.♡)
I've never really gone into depth about what kpop means to me, but it all goes back to my thoughts on living life, embracing people & experiencing them, and learning from them, and being inspired by people from all walks of life to shape my character, world view and ultimately share that with the world.
ASTRO and Moonbin have and will always be an inspiration for me, to let love shine through, to be hardworking, passionate and diligent in everything I do, so that no matter who sees it, whether they no me closely or not, the message shines through.
I have been grieving so many things for the past 3 years. Time is such a strange thing, it seems like it's flying when things are mundane but when you have so much pain to carry, minutes can feel like hours, days even. This pain was yet another stab in the heart and I'm grateful that I took the time to process it for as long as I did... (please everyone take your time to move through grief. Everyone may not understand, but it's unique to everyone and it's completely ok to be sad and feel terrible for as long as you need to. Everyone's pace is not yours.)
I mourn with so many people such a beautiful light, but I know first hand, that the pain I feel will never measure up to what those that were closest to Moobin will experience. I can only imagine, from experiencing his glow through the internet what a blessing it was to be around, be acquainted with, be cared for and loved by him. I'm sending prayers to all those who were close to him and that have met him and been touched by him because that special little ache will always be there...it will be there through the pain and through the healing.
I'm grateful to have experienced him, his vlives when I couldn't sleep, and his beautiful voice and spirit, to feel encouraged to be afraid but do it anyway, that no matter how small my contribution to his life may have been in my eyes, it was worth showing my love and appreciation for his talent, art and dream, and although it is a reality so bittersweet and heavy to accept, it keeps me encouraged to become the person I know it's possible to be.
Someone who encourages. Someone who lives and spreads light. Someone who tries their best and then another 1000%. Someone passionate about a dream. Because no matter what your flaw, your intentions, your purpose and your light shines through, like it did with Moonbin to all of us.
My heart aches, it hurts...but I'm grieving and growing, and using all the hurt to push forward. Life is so hard, and no one will ever know every single struggle someone else has, but we should all strive together to be the best we can be, because someone needs the vibe that is unique to one person alone. Your quirks, your kindness. You.
You are needed. You are loved. Please keep going. Live is crazy, short and amazing. Live it up, be true to yourself and have no regrets.
Thank you Moonbinnie, for simply being who you were and shining on this world. You'll always be in my heart.
RIP.
#astro#aroha#<3#moonbin#rip moonbin#i hope this helps#jindongdongietalks#you're never alone#keep going#coping with grief
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Οι Dirty Caravan παρουσιάζουν το νέο τους single-video clip με τίτλο “You’re never alone” απο το επερχόμενο άλμπουμ “Drops”.
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Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
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same as it never was.
#variant + wip under the cut!#back to the future#bttf#marty mcfly#fanart#my art#illustration#having big lone pines timeline feelings. can you tell#tfw when you're you but you're not You.#you're not the You they know and you're not the You they grew up with or raised and you're not the You who belongs here#tfw everything is better but nothing is right#but if you're the only one who knows any different#then is it really everything else that's the problem?#tfw you overwrite your entire reality but in doing so you created a world you don't and can never belong in#tfw you alone remember a childhood that never existed because you destroyed it#tfw you technically committed temporal genocide but your mom needs you to make space on the table for the turkey#as you can see i am normal about marty mcfly
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NO ONE ELSE CAN HELP YOU
NO ONE ELSE CAN HELP YOU
(objectober 2024 day 20: dream)
#dandy's doodles#inanimate insanity#ii#ii mephone#i don't feel like tagging the others... individually they're not that important anyway#objectober#objectober 2024#featuring lyrics from dream by roar :) one of my favorite songs of theirs#roar has an incredible capacity for expressing helplessness and isolation in their songs. it's so heart-wrenching. horribly real#i don't know the 'real' meaning but i've always seen dream as being about wanting to make your parents happy#and feeling like you're always failing#and now that they're gone you feel totally lost cuz you've based your whole life around making them happy#and you feel so alone and scared without them#and you don't know whether to continue following what they would've wanted#or to pursue dreams you feel you can never achieve without their support#i may or may not be projecting... but in any case it's very VERY fitting for mephone#and the prompt immediately made me think of the song and him... so...#very fond of how this turned out :)
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This is so funny.
When the westerners see a post complaining of russophobia they imagine a young queer intellectual stuck in russia, hating the regime to the core and being all bleeding heart for the suffering Ukrainians.
Meanwhile, the same very person complaining of russophobia in one post boasts about literal war trophies brought from the occupied Ukrainian territories by their war criminal father in another, fills their artworks with modern russian military symbols, and tags the posts about their relatives participating in invasion with 'lol memes'.
It is honestly funny how much goodwill russians are still given for absolutely nothing while Ukrainians have to constantly prove that we deserve, well, to at least not be massacred.
#the person I'm talking about literally came to one of the posts by a Ukrainian to whine about russophobia#and there was another post where smb very naive was talking with them at how unfairly the westerners treat russia#and saying that those people would probably hate Ukrainians too#like dude at least take a look at the blog of the person you're speaking to#they're literally cheering on the genocide of Ukrainians their family actively participates in#I doubt those who hate this user hate Ukrainians too lol#some of you have never been targeted by the artillery and drones and missiles for your nationality alone and it shows#Ukraine
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when ur murderous puppy dog of an ex-boyf defends ur honor or something
#do you feel favored by him daniel#daniel ricciardo#max verstappen#f1#maxiel#*#**#hungarian gp 2023#max getting very agitated in first gif 😵💫#imagine you're daniel getting ready to answer a stupid and inflammatory question and then your#(friend? colleague? ex-teammate? the one that got away?) interrupts and calls them out for you#something something realizing you'll never have to be alone
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Let's talk about some lesser known symptoms of autism! Maybe this will help some of you get a broader perspective on what this can be like. There is a whole grab bag of symptoms of autism, but here are some ones you may not know that you have.
Focus on truth
What does this mean? Well glad you asked. This is the focus on facts and logic rather than anything else. People have shown this as autistic people may refusing to lie because it goes against what they find as true. But that's not always the case.
Have you ever used logic to try and figure out your emotions?
Are you someone who doesn't understand why others may speculate when the current knowledge is right there? (such as subtext versus canon knowledge or theoretical arguments)
Do you find it frustrating when others avoid their problems as a way to avoid figuring out negative things? (such as avoiding conflict in a friend group)
Is it easy for you to talk about your strengths and flaws? Do you know your likes, dislikes and limits pretty well?
High context communication
This is preference on details and the full context of any situation. Often going into great detail and backstory to anything.
Do you feel as though you need to overexplain to give the person everything they need to know?
Have you ever apologized to someone by explaining the deep and meaningful reasons of why you did it, before you said you were sorry? And maybe even felt upset or confused why they reacted badly?
Have you ever felt stressed out because you wanted to give others full detail but they either interrupted you or cut you off?
Are you stressed out by people who tell you what to do and not why they want you to do it?
Are you ever told that you talk back a lot?
Do you prefer recipes versus verbal/vague instructions? (All the things that you need such as ingredients, measurements, prep time, etc.)
Do you really like watching deep dives and knowing about the whole history of something you're even vaguely interested in?
Identity diffusion
This is not everyone's experience, and it is common in a variety of other disorders such as DID and BPD. However, it is when you do not know who you are in regards to others. This is also known as identity disturbance.
Have you ever felt like an outsider without knowing why?
Are you deeply interested on what other people think of you? Especially if it's all the time?
Do you really like taking personality tests and quizzes? Are you interested in horoscopes?
Do you feel like you don't fit in any one specific group? Either being a loner, or hopping in between many different groups?
Do you ever feel weirder than the "weird kids" group? Do you not really get along or feel like you belong with them?
Do you have low self esteem when it comes to comparing yourself to your friends? Do you feel like they're better or more capable than you?
Do you feel drastically unimportant and not as interesting or cool as everyone else?
Have you ever related to narratives surrounding a character that is the last of their kind?
Do you feel like your identity is a vast and gaping void, that even if you learn a little bit, that you'll never know everything?
Internalized repetition
This is one of those traits that not every autistic person experiences, but that some might. You could say that for all autistic traits, but hey, good to know regardless. Because of internalized repetition, you may not do many external stims, besides vocal.
Do you listen to a song over and over again? Perhaps having a playlist on repeat?
When stressed out, do you type the same word or phrase over and over again?
Do you like looking at the same things, such as the same color or the same artist's works?
Do you really like certain patterns, crystals or aesthetics?
Do you enjoy games with recognizable fighting patterns? (Such as character rotation, boss battle rotation, etc.)
Struggling to connect to others *
This is something that's been characterized by struggling to connect to others through their emotions, but the opposite is actually true for many autistic people. *I will be talking about those who struggle to connect to others who are emotionally distant or unavailable. Being emotionally distant or not showing emotions externally is a trait that many autistic people share, but for those without alexithymia, they may struggle to understand why anyone wouldn't like to talk about their emotions. I don't know the specific symptom term for this, so please bare with me. If anyone would like to inform me about what this is called, please tell me.
Do you struggle to talk with dry texters, or tend to over-examine people's tone through text?
Do you have anxious attachment?
Do you feel disconnected with many other autistic people and struggle to make friends or talk to them?
Do you feel embarrassment or shame with being emotionally sensitive?
Have you fallen down the rabbit hole of things like starseeds, star children or empaths?
Do you want to talk about serious emotions a lot, even when its not appropriate?
Do you trauma dump or wish people would become more emotionally intimate with you? Do you enjoy it when people share their deep traumas with you, even if it's triggering?
Are you constantly reassurance seeking?
There is plenty more symptoms out there, and these are just a few that stood out to me, because I think I may be autistic. I've always related somewhat, but never connected the dots. But there are reasons for that, such as identity diffusion and thinking I'm different from everyone else no matter what. I struggled because I didn't seem to have a lot of the outward and visible symptoms that were often talked about. I thought every autistic person had alexithymia, when that's just not true. My best friend, who has similar symptoms to me, along with another close friend of mine, have a similar presentation of autism. And it's taken quite a bit for me to accept or process. I feel like I'm faking my experiences just because I've self diagnosed before. And I'm angry that ADHD isn't given enough significance.
But I think I might be autistic, and this article that I based this post off of, confirmed it. So here's my post informing and coming out on that. You can be autistic and highly masking without actually knowing what's going on is masking. You can be autistic and have a spectrum of verbality, you can be autistic and struggle to connect to anyone who isn't immediately emotionally intimate with you. You can be autistic and not relate at all to other autistic people.
You're not alone.
#babey posts#actually autistic#audhd#autism#autism spectrum disorder#i know its a spectrum disorder but bro it doesn't feel like it#its broader than you might realize#you can be autistic and struggle to accept it#this has been the most frustrating and painful realization#i just. i feel a lot of negative feelings at myself about this#but i want to curate a place for people to exist without judgement#and before the anti self dx ppl come in here. this has never been the blog for you.#if youre like this. you belong here.#and if you just understand this. you also belong here.#you're not alone
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6.18 Lauren | 17.05 Conspiracy vs. Theory
#criminal minds#criminalmindsedit#criminal minds evolution#cmevolutionedit#cmverse#cmverseedit#emily prentiss#emilyprentissedit#mine#edit#*#parallel*#i love parallels#MY LOVE#currently drowning in tears thinking about 'i can compartmentalize better than most people' emily prentiss who is a rock#until the second her family reaches out and proves they are there for her#and then she CRUMBLES#oh my poor baby you try SO HARD and you're SO GOOD and do what needs to be done!!! you do it alone!!!#but you don't WANT TO you want love and care so badly but you'll never ask for it!!!! you'll never expect it!!!#also the side by side showing her nodding in lauren and shaking her head no in conspiracy?? oh my heart
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🍄
'keep going'...
...does not mean that you cannot rest.
it means that even in the face of difficulties, giving up is not the answer. rest if you must, and then pick yourself up and keep going.
you have the strength in you. keep going ✨
#positively positive#positive affirmations#mental health#daily affirmations#affirmations#self love#self care#love yourself#mental health tips#mental health support#keepgoing#keep going#keep moving forward#dont give up#never give up#giving up is not an option#you can do it#you can do this#you can do whatever you want forever#you got this#you matter#you are capable#you are here#you are not alone#you are brave#you are strong#you are enough#you are where you're meant to be#you are worthy#you are loved
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realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards
*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#clone^2#danny fenton is a clone#like i dont even need to traumatize you worse the pure explorative options from this aLONE is enough to feed me for a week.#like. tucks hair behind ear let me shatter you into glass pieces then glue you back together babe. i can put you back together so good.#i'm missing a few shards because some parts of you broke into such small pieces i couldn't pick them back up again so you'll be missing a#few chunks of yourself that you'll never get back but that's okay. you'll still be a resemblance of your old self :]#don't let anakin (me) listen to late night sad songs he makes angst.#hhh imagine being stuck in a house for two weeks where you can hear your parents torturing ghosts in the basement and not only that but#you're the only person who can undERSTAND the ghosts. how many times did he see his parents drag in a ghost with whatever capturing device#they made recently? iirc the thermos was like. brand new in episode one right? but gOD the trauma this alone would cause#nobody touch me im cooking rn i need to think about how this would impact danny. like obvs it would fuel into a developing obsession to#keep his parents away from ghosts and to help the dead but what *else.* i need to refine my becoming phantom ficlet i wrote back in winter#raaa#and like even after two weeks they were *still capturing ghosts* danny just wasn't in the house 24/7 at the time.#*but those two fucking weeks man*#i need to sleep on this first before i make any major moves bc i know im tired but i am having thOUGHTs
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i see... i see...
#gang i'm afraid lord-of-the-dungeon! marcille could never bring herself to ressurrct falin#she'd be too scared of what falin would think of her#and petrified at the idea that she would pull a delgal on her and try to leave the dungeon#nooo don't trap your loved ones in a gilded prison because you're terrified of being alone haha you're so sexy#marcille-thistle paralels are so yummy#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon#delicious in dungeon spoilers#falin touden#marcille touden#delgal#thistle#posted
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231003 ♡ Happy Birthday Bang Chan!
#chan#bang chan#stray kids#cb97net#createskz#*gfx#*m#long post#all the stars in the sky couldnt compare to how much i love you... thank you forever and for always...#i will be by your side till the sun sets okay?#together always... im happy here with you#you changed my life and made me into a warmer person...#i think im so lucky that the universe led me to you... im so grateful that you exist here with me...#my everything... you are always my brightest sun and i hope to continue to be your moon#how many times can i say thank you till my tongue grows numb it still wouldnt be enough... to say thank you to you#because of you i am here still today... because of your kind words i was able to hold onto who i was that night#im never truly alone because you're always a part of my heart and who i am now.. you exist inside my very heart#you are so truly and deeply a soulmate to me...#i love you... so much..
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ink is a sociopath
does this make him a bad person?
absolutely not.
he can't feel empathy or remorse and my guy (gender neutral) that doesn't mean he's always got to be the villian
free this man of the stereotypes
let him be silly and fun and free without . people automatically making him a villainous character due to his lack of emotions
#ink sans#bro is sociopathic#<- will never ever make someone a bad person#the path you take is your own but you're also not alone#quill rambles#i do actually think it's cool when he's villainised but alsoooo#let this man not be the villain#let him be free#free himmmm
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this is sort of pathetic, but when you were younger, you were sort of puzzled by the cartoon representations of fathers: how a kid would be outside with a mitt, waiting to play catch.
it's not that your father never played catch with you, but you also didn't like when he did. something about a hard ball coming quickly towards your face doesn't seem exciting. not that you'd ever say you don't trust him. you trust him, right?
it's not like he never tried to teach you anything. or never tried to parent. on rare days, a strange person would walk in your father's skin. bright, happy, magnificent. this version of your father was so cheerful and charismatic that you would do anything to keep him. and this is the version of your father that would laugh and gently coax you try again. this is the version of your father that would break down the small elements of a problem and point them out so you have an easier time with them.
as a kid, those days happened more often. but somewhere around 11, you started being too much of a person, and he was often cross about it. when he'd try to sit you down to learn something, you spent the whole time with your shoulders around your ears, nervous, uncertain. terrified because you didn't immediately understand how to navigate something. worried you will run out of his goodwill and then you will have the Other Father back, and you will have ruined a good day for your entire family. something about you being visibly afraid - it just made him angry. he would accuse you of not wanting to learn and storm away.
on tv, it's not like there's a lot of versions of men-who-are-mostly-fathers. they can be good dads, but usually their stories are not told in the household. so it's normal that your father is there, but he's never around. you know he was in the house, somewhere, it's just not that you guys ever... "hung out". he just seemed to get kind of bored of you, annoyed you weren't made in his perfect image. frustrated with how much energy it took to raise a kid. over time, you kind of adopt a bittersweet band around your throat - he knows nothing about me. he says at least i never abandoned my family.
and it's technically - technically - true. he was there for you. sometimes he even made an effort and made it to the big moments; the graduations and the dance recitals. he grins and tells everyone that he taught you. it almost erases the days in between, where he complains because you need a ride to school. the weeks that go by where he doesn't actually ever speak to you. the times you say i am struggling and he says figure it out on your own. i can't help you.
and that's fine! that's all fine. you can call him if you are having a problem with your car. or if you need a ride to the hospital. he loves playing hero, he just doesn't like the actual work that comes with being a father. and you've kind of made your peace with that; because you had to, because you don't want to live your life like he does; the whole world at a managed distance, a little rotating and controlled orb he can witness and take credit for but never truly love.
as an adult, you are rewatching some dumb cartoon - and again, the child standing in the rain, with a mitt, waiting for their father to come play catch. as an adult, there's this strange creeping dread - this little thing? this little thing, and their dad can't even show up for that? oh god, holyshit, it's not about the mitt, is it. oh god, holyshit, your father spent most of your life leaving you hanging.
#spilled ink#writeblr#:) lol . anybody notice how i write about dads in second person exclusively#me: haha silly cartoon#also me: ): this child is not getting what they need#also btw this is about a father but it might apply to any parent or caregiver#there's a really weird space of like#''this person was technically around me but either ignored me or was actively harmful to me''#and like u learn this very strange ritual of like... this person is my parent/caregiver on a technicality#that you almost spend all ur time with them like... tiptoeing and acting as THEIR parent so u don't upset them.#like you're 17 and ur mom is suddenly hit by a wave of wanting to talk to you so she's like :) lets make breakfast together :) and ur like#uhhhhhh okay?? bc you feel like this is absolutely going to go wrong and is why u usually make breakfast alone#and she starts being like: THIS is called a TEASPOON ... & u know all this stuff but you also know to just be very quiet#bc if you say like ''mom ive been making this breakfast every day since i was 13'' she would FREAK OUT and be like#DONT ACT LIKE I NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR YOU DONT ACT LIKE I DONT CARE ABOUT YOU. FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL .#so u have to smile like ur a preschool teacher and be like. OH COOL! i didn't know A CUP existed! tell me MORE! :)
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If there's anything I've learned about being human in 18 years, it's that you're never completely alone. There's surely someone somewhere in the world who understands intimately what you're going through, and they may not be as far away as you think. I'm here for you if you ever need to reach out. 👍
having some feelings, thinking about the way that my switches seem to happen and just... wondering if it's at all "normal" and if anyone else experiences it like that. Mostly because I only have experience with myself and with a very disordered, very internally antagonistic system with a piece of shit core/host (my ex)...
So it's like...
Generally, switches feel almost voluntary? Like, when I finally got back into the driver's seat on Saturday night (Adam was driving most of the day), it was after having an actual internal conversation about like, how I wanted to be fronting again and missed my partner and he was just like "yeah sure".
But it wasn't like, immediate. It was this slow, gentle shift from Adam's mental landscape/mindset into my own over a few minutes (and also started happening during the "conversation" between me and him). Though it totally feels like, if I wanted to, I could probably make a switch happen and that doesn't feel... "right" to me.
Mostly because like, my experience with my ex was that his switches were absolutely involuntary and usually happened almost instantaneously or if not, he'd kind of half pass out with some of them.
I know co-consciousness is totally a thing that other systems have experienced, but he didn't have any of that and I keep thinking/feeling like... that it's evidence of me "faking" somehow. IDK.
Consider this me asking the plural comm what co-fronting or co-consciousness feels like for y'all? Or what it feels like for y'all to have a switch???
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