#you’re not original with this fucking gotcha

[bwarkz]

“acknowledging that stereotypes and caricatures exist is actually what’s bigoted!! not the fact that these stereotypes and caricatures definitely exist and have had their existence well documented throughout history!! how dare you associate money hoarding goblins with jewish people!! bigot!! antisemite!!”

the internet is free and is filled to the brim with easily accessible knowledge!! you should try googling something for once in your life!!

and you have the audacity to call other people morons lmao. it’s inherently funny when people are shamelessly stupid but it’s even funnier when these brain dead idiots go on to call other people stupid. have you considered stand up comedy?

congrats to avalanche software for making the first game in the ‘transphobia’ genre!!

[alieinthemorning]

Low Temperatures [Sylus]

Content: Fluff, Established Relationship, Sick Character, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert

Pronouns: None

Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don’t forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!

This work’s concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries.

“Why is it so cold in here?” The moment your bare feet grazed the marble floor of Sylus’ room, a sharp chill ran up and down your body.

“Did you know that you should sleep with the room temperature at between sixty and seventy-two degrees?”

“So fucking freezing and freezing?” You padded your way over to the thermostat, turning it up to 75. “Don’t touch it.”

“It’s my thermostat.” You rolled your eyes at Sylus’ pout, heading over to the bed. 

“Well now it’s our thermostat since I’m sleeping in here tonight.” Throwing the covers back, you flopped down.

You should have known simple words wouldn’t have stopped Sylus. You should have walked out the moment he brought up that cold ass “correct” temperature bullshit. All you wanted was sleep, a quick rest, a simple rest of the eyes. But now here you were, cold, cranky, and cuddled up against the culprit. 

“Why is it so fucking cold?” Your voice was rough, you sure were sick. 

“It feels quite comfortable to me.” Despite being burrowed deep in the covers, you could hear the smug smile. “You were holding onto me so tightly…am I to assume it was because you were cold and nothing else?”

“Shut up—” Your words became a wet, garbbed mess of coughs. 

You felt Sylus shift closer. “Are you seriously sick?”

“Did you seriously touch my shit when I told you not to?” Another string of harsh coughs. 

Silence blanketed the room, for once he had nothing to say. You untangled yourself from the blankets, making your way to the thermostat. You could feel Sylus’ gaze on your back, but you ignored it. 

It was at 62 degrees. 

You headed for the door.

He didn’t try to stop you. 

You hated being sick. You hated being away from home, and sick. You especially hated being away from home, sick and living under the same roof as the person who made you sick as a fucking gotcha (or whatever). 

“Man, you’re weak.” 

“Yeah, sixty-two degrees isn’t even all that cold.”

“Get out.” 

You were not in the mood for Luke and Kieran shenanigans because if they were gonna shenan once, they would shenan again.

“No can do.”

“The boss gave us explicit orders to watch over you.” 

You groaned (mistake, turned in another bad cough), and rolled your eyes. “Then watch me quietly. I want to sleep.”

“But you’ve been doing nothing but sleeping this entire time.” Kieran pointed. 

“And that’s boring.” Luke agreed with a nod. 

“Yeah, we should—”

A ping cleared the air, cutting Kieran off. Luke slipped his phone from his pocket, glancing at the message. 

“It’s boss. He wants to see us.” 

“Really? I thought we had the day off.”

“Good, hurry up and don’t come back.” You would have physically pushed them out, but your body was aching, so you hoped a fierce glare was enough to get them moving. 

It wasn’t. They took their sweet ass time leaving your room, but at least they were nice (see: being a nuisance) enough to turn the lights off as they left. 

Finally, peace and quiet. Well, peace, quiet and pain. But with a commentary video on in the background, you were able to lull yourself to sleep. 

The next few days went by slowly, and uneventful. The twins never came back after Sylus had called for them. You were both grateful and a bit annoyed (you would have liked to have a bit of entertainment as you were getting better). Then you were fully recovered, and the twins still hadn’t reared their masked heads. You rolled your eyes, turning on your heel and headed for the reason why.

Entering the room, you immediately beelined it for the thermostat.

It was set to 75 degrees. 

You headed for the bed.

He didn’t try to stop you nor move from his spot.

You snuggle into the bed, happy with the comfort that surrounded you. You were content with the silence, not really expecting him to speak to you, and you weren’t willing to extend the olive branch. But then he spoke,

“I’m sorry.” He sighed, as his book clapped shut. “For disregarding your words, and getting you sick.” 

You let the apology settle in the air for a moment before responding. “I don’t like that you did that—I’ve got a weak constitution.” You paused, toying with your bottom lip. “...but I should have told you that before just changing something and expecting you not to change it back. So I’m sorry too.”

“Now that we’ve both gotten the apologies out of the way,” You felt him lean over you, “Will you return to the bedroom?”  

“Oh? Was someone lonely without me?”

His lips grazed your ear. “Of course I was.”

“Oh.” You shuddered. “What should we do about our loneliness then?”

“I can think of a few things.”

For the first time ever

NSFW Continuation

Everyone thank my friend and Sylus for this.

Ko-Fi | Commission | Masterlist

[strawberryraviegutz]

Tw: Death, Suicide

Anti Hazbin/Helluva people try not to use someone’s suicide as a “gotcha” and or tool to spread their anti HH/HB narrative challenge(impossible)

Like seriously wtf is wrong with y’all? Someone took their own life due to being harassed over a ship and your first responses are,

“lol they probably deserved it for being a hazbin fan”

“hazbin hotel is so bad it already killed someone”

“Vivziepop and her fandom killed someone I hope they all go to hell.”

The original doc that reported on this person’s death literally stated that it WAS NOT MADE TO SPREAD HATE/HARASSMENT TOWARDS ANYONE INVOLVED IN MAKING/WORKING ON HAZBIN NOR TO SPREAD HATE/HARASSMENT IN GENERAL

so quit blaming Viv for something when none of this was her fault and stop blaming the entire fandom/fanbase instead of the ACTUAL PERPETRATORS. Also saying someone deserves death and or hell for being a fan of a cartoon you don’t like?? Really?? Yall are literally no better than the people who bullied this person to death..

A PERSON LITERALLY TOOK THEIR OWN LIFE. SOMEONE IS LITERALLY DEAD AND YALL ARE LAUGHING???? You are the same people who have told Viv to off herself on multiple occasions but now suddenly wanna act like you care about someone else’s life once it benefits you..

Also if you’re the type of person who takes ships this seriously to the point where you cause someone else to take their own life then fuck you. You’re the reason why fandoms are so toxic and you need to get off the internet

[rose-tinting]

the amount of misinformation that has been circling outside of neopets circles I swear

I see a new rumor every time

“They’re free from nft bros” Nope. Owned by one!

“The original team rebought them” God fucking no and you should not want them to, Adam Powells little meltdown over neopets users criticizing his new crypto venture is reason enough lol.

“The company was sold to Neopets Internal Teams” They sold it to the guy who used to head the former NFT project and are promising this means TNT has more freedom “under new leadership“ with “no current plans for crypto/NFTs” (This is not a promise not to make them)

One of the “brand ambassadors” who is supposed to help TNT with the knowing and understanding the userbase is some celebrity who’s wife is also a celebrity who I’ve seen people CLAIM used to be a Neopets mod. Does that sound like a neopets user who can tell the neopets team what the average user wants? No call for users who aren’t celebrities to become brand ambassadors has been made afaik.

Current Neopets mods are silencing trans people for mentioning HRT as well as top surgery and ignoring cis people talking about pregnancy, death, and surgery. (Have seen these boards go on for several hours and never get deleted even after a heated debate on one one about abortion) 

There’s items and backstory on the site that are racist. Neopets users have asked these be addressed. Do you think this “brand ambassador” will address any of that? Why does the ambassador need to be a celebrity? Unless the actual intent is to have “ambassadors” who sell neopets as a brand to the potential new userbase and isn’t about “listening to the users” at all.

god can one person with a huge following please for once just reblog and acknowledge the TRUTH. (doesn’t have to be from me I’d just like the actual info to be spread!) Awareness will help us keep the worst from happening! Pretending everything is fine until it isn’t is NOT the way!

If you want the actual info on the site Neopets has a fansite dedicated to reporting Neopets news including everything TNT tries to sweep under the rug

https://www.jellyneo.net/?comments=14391

A direct quote from their article on this

“ New CEO of Neopets is Dominic Law, who previously headed the Neopets Metaverse and brokered a "management buyout deal" “

Please if you’re reading this

stop spreading misinformation

spread the real information

make your own post even

this could go either way right now

this is not a “neopets renaissance”

this is a crossroads and we don’t know where we’re going yet. It could be great, or it could be the end of the site.

(Editing my reblog in so it can hopefully get seen too, I was provided with more accurate info on the brand ambassador.)

@pirakeet Thanks! Was actually hoping someone COULD correct this :3 Cause I was REALLY HOPING it wasn’t what it seemed since all I could find was a twitter post with an attached video where he accepts it (I immediately fled twitter may be why)

[Image Text ID]  Posted by tumblr user pirakeet: I’m not correcting anything, but just letting you know the “brand  ambassador” program has been made available - just presumably not in  the ‘john legend’ sense:  https://portal.neopets.com/brand-ambassador-program  and for clarity, i’ve been popping off about the difference, this isn’t a  “gotcha moment”.   There’s more info when you click “apply” and it takes you to a google  doc [End Id]

As I said I’m more interested in the truth being spread so I hope this can be seen!

[silverjirachi]

I’m so fucking sorry I’m cry laughing. imagine clicking the top of the rod and it fucking shoots out at 1000mph

why is all D&D Content™ like this. what if we all played fun games with people we like and respect and had a nice time

[giggly-squiggily]

How about switches TodoBaku? Maybe Todo wants Bakugo to say he loves him but he won't go down without a fight!

Ooo, yes! I adore these two so much! I've gotcha covered, anon!

Cloud 9 (Taglist)

CW: Swearing

@myreygn, @thatbigbisexual29 @duckymcdoorknob @baby-tickles2022 @cupcake-spice13 @backy-san @nutsgunraylvt

“Hey,” Todoroki reached out, gaining Bakugou’s attention. “I love you.”

Immediately, the blonde’s face flushed a vivid shade of red. Eyes wide, he sputtered before twisting around, ducking into himself with his arms folded tightly over his chest.

“F-Fuck, IcyHot! Don’t just say shit like that without warning!” He growled, ears red as berries.

It was so endearing, watching Bakugou get flustered over the smallest gestures of affection. Originally, Todoroki was rather hurt by the response, but once he realized it was out of pure fluster, that confused hurt turned to pure devious enjoyment.

Leaning in, he prodded the blushing boy’s shoulder. “Hey, say it back.”

“Fuck off!”

“Say you love me, Katsuki.” He smiled a little smile, eyes dancing. “You said it before, remember?”

“Go away! I’m not saying shit!” Bakugou shrunk more, his entire face pink. The memory of the accidental slip up hung between them- Todoroki getting so mad at the Kimchi jar he threw it out a window, watching it explode open. The whole thing was so stupid it made Bakugou laugh hysterically, doubled over with tears of mirth in his eyes.

“Oohoho my god! I fucking love you, Shoto!”

Laughter got choked off, shock set in along with a fairly bright blush, and Todoroki had been craving those words ever since.

The problem was just getting Bakugou to say it!

“Should I throw another jar of Kimchi onto the pavement?” Todoroki asked, watching the way Bakuogu’s lips twitched. “I don’t think Mr. Aizawa would be happy if I did.”

“Don’t waste food, idiot.” Bakugou huffed, turning his head away when Todoroki went to peek. Opportunity was before him.

“Then say you love me.” Todoroki poked his ribs, grinning when Bakugou jumped, sucking in a breath. “I’ll throw a hundred jars of Kimchi out the window if that’s what it takes.”

“Gah- N-No! Stop that! Don’t fucking to-ouch me!” Bakugou squirmed at each poke, his lips wobbling into a smile as he tried blocking out the other’s hand with his arm. His face was still turned away though, making his aim off. Todoroki added a finger.

“Tell me you love me first.” Poke, poke poke.

“Fuuuhuhck you!”

“I love you. I think you’re great.”

“Shoohohoto!”

“I want to spend my days with you. I want to breathe the air you breathe.”

“That wahahahs stuuhuhhupid!” Bakugou let out a cross up of a genuine laugh and a tickle one, his hand slapping over his ribs protectively.

“Was it? I got it from one of those romance manga you read.” Todoroki teased, moving down to Bakugou’s hip, throwing all caution to the wind as he gave it a friendly squeeze. “I swear I remember you swooning over it at the time.”

“Shiihihihihihit!” Bakugou swore as he fell back into Todoroki’s chest, laughing helplessly as he tried prying his hand off his hip. Now that he had captured his target, Todoroki brought his other hand into the mix, drilling his fingers into the middle of his ribs. “Fuhuhuhuhuck ohohohohohoff, Iihihiihiihicy hoohoohoohohot!”

“Tell me that you love me.” Todoroki grinned, thinking of the tiktok Uraraka sent him the other day. “Tell me that I take your breath away.”

“Doohoohohohn’t fuhuhuhuhucking quote tihiiihiihktohoohohoks! Ahehahahahhaa, Ihiihihihcy hhoohoohohohohot!”

“It’s Icy Thot on Thursdays.”

“Shuhuhuhuuhhut uhuhuuhuuhp!”

“Just say you love me.” Todoroki teased, bringing both hands to Bakugou’s hips, making him arch with a squeal. “Then it’d be all over.”

“Nehehehehhehever!” Bakugou declared;  his next move unpredictable. He shot his hands out, grabbing Todoroki’s thigh just above the knee. Then he squeezed.

“Ah!” Todoroki yelped, spasming. Bakugou took his chance.

Diving forward, he grabbed his boyfriend’s ankle, drilling into the socked sole. “Come on then, tell me you love me! Come on, say it!” Bakugou mimicked, laughing when the other shrieked, flailing behind him and kicking him with his free foot. “What’s wrong? Too shy, Hot Pocket?”

“GEHAHHAHAHHAHA! KAHAHAHAHAHAHTSUUHUHUHKI! AAHEHHAHAHHAHA, STHAHAHAHP THAHAHHAHAT!” Todoroki howled in mirth, tears blinding his vision as he tried to wrench his foot out of Bakugou’s tough grip. This was not how he planned it- not at all! Sitting up when he could, he tried grabbing the back of Bakugou’s shirt- his hair, anything to pull him off, but the other was adamant on tickling the snot out of him. “COOHOOHOHME OHOOHOHOHON, HAHAHHAVE MEHEHHERCY!”

“You wish!” Bakugou laughed, grinning over his shoulder.

Fine then- last resort it was.

Making his hand extra cold, he reached out and shoved it up Bakugou back, making the blonde squeal and fly off the bed. Unfortunately for Todoroki, his foot was still in his hold, meaning they both came crashing to the floor. He grabbed onto the sheets for security, but that proved only to be his downfall as they came down with him.

Blinded, breathless, with his pride beaten, Todoroki gasped for air as he heard Bakugou swear, looking for freedom in their trapped state. “If you fucking fart, I’ll kick your ass.” He heard him mumble, the thought was enough to send Todoroki into a fresh fit of laughter. Finally, the sheets were removed, light momentarily blinding him before Bakuogu’s head loomed over, a mild scowl on his face. “Asshole.”

“Pfft- gehahahahahhaha!” Todoroki couldn’t even form words, laughing too hard at the whole scenario. He covered his mouth as a snort escaped, squeezing his eyes shut as more came out. Bakugou’s scowl melted into a grin as he laughed, shoving the other gently.

“Hey, giggle box- you’re not hurt, are you?” He looked over his shoulder at their tangled limbs, nodding in satisfaction when he saw no injury. “Ugh, you’re such a dork, you know that?”

“Wohoohrth it.” Todoroki smiled, finally starting to calm down. Looking up at his boyfriend, he reached up, running a hand against his cheek. “I do love you. Truly.”

Bakugou blushed, but this time he didn’t look away or fuss. Instead, he sighed, leaning into his hand with a small grin. “I love you too, Icy Hot.”

Todoroki’s heart raced, but it was missing something. “Say it again.”

“So needy.” Bakugou shook his head with a snort. “Fine.” Leaning down, he got close enough that they were nose to nose. “I love you, Shoto.” He finished the statement with a kiss on the lips, so gentle it was like a feather. “Happy?”

Todoroki’s face was warm, as was his heart. He leaned up and kissed the other back, grinning at the shocked blush spreading over Bakugou’s face once more. “With you? Always.”

Thanks for reading!

Icy Thot joke credit to @/brownbakugou on tiktok! :D

[thenon-fictiondays]

Hirano to Kagiura light novel translation 4-4

Chapter 4: Fall.

Part 4

Prev || Next

At long last, tomorrow is the day of the cultural festival.

He’d thought they’d definitely stay late after school to prepare on the eve of the festival, but by rule of the student council, everyone had gone home at the same time today.

It can be said that this policy, which makes no allowances for the classes that were unable to finish their preparations in the time allotted, is typical of a school that values autonomy.

Even the culture clubs’ practices are restricted, and extracurricular activities are also entirely forbidden.

Thanks to that, Kagiura has been on pins and needles. Even though he’d tried to study in his room to suppress his flighty nerves, he can’t make himself focus on English vocabulary at all. Numerical formulas are somehow even more impossible.

Such being the case, he has since been reading a basketball magazine he subscribes to.

“Hey, you like cookies?”

At the sound of Hirano’s voice, Kagiura’s head snaps up.

“Yeah, I like ‘em!”

“Cool. I’ve got some left over that we made in home ec today; you want one?”

As he passes over a cookie, he adds, “I forgot all about them.”

Kagiura would’ve thought it’d just be the round type, but it’s the type of cookie with two colors so you can break it into pieces cleanly. It’s amazing. It looks especially good. 

“Sure, I’ll take it!”

Male students’ homemade sweets are even more of a rarity than their homemade cooking.

Kagiura had made drop candy in his elementary school cooking class, which was his one and only experience in the subject.

“It’s all yours. There was one that Sasaki made, that he made look like a cat’s face, kind of like a tuxedo cat? It was super fancy. Should’ve taken a picture.”

“Did you make this one?”

“Yeah. We used the same dough, though.”

“I think yours is beautiful.”

“Huh? …Oh, haha, thanks. I kinda feel like you’re saying that to make me feel better, but I wasn’t trying to fish for compliments.”

“...Can I eat it now?”

It’ll be dinnertime soon.

“Ah…well, it’ll be our little secret. I’ll eat some, too.”

To Kagiura’s surprise, he puts a finger to his lips in the universal shh gesture.

Gguhh, Kagiura chokes on the cookie he’s already put in his mouth.

“What’s wrong?!”

From hanging out together for half a year, he should know that Hirano’s a soft person by nature, but he still can’t get over it.

“Th- the cookie got into my organs…”

“The fuck?!”

He likes him…maybe.

It shouldn’t leave the realm of maybe yet.

“Th- they were so tasty I kinda ate them too fast…”

Hirano bursts out laughing at his attempt to save face.

This guy laughs so much!

“Hahaha…Gotcha, I’m glad then, ahahaha.”

“Jeez, it’s not that funny!”

He covers his face with the open magazine, protesting that he’s already embarrassed enough, but Hirano’s still laughing as he apologizes.

“Damn. You know, if I ever get married, I hope I find someone who wears their heart on their sleeve like you do.”

At that moment, it’s as if time has stopped.

“.......?!”

Kagiura freezes, the basketball magazine falling from his hands.

“Oh, it’s dinnertime. Let’s go.”

Does he not realize what he just said?

No respect for the fact that he’s just taken Kagiura out in one hit.

Still in shock, Kagiura heads out for dinner slightly behind.

*****

On the long-awaited festival day, the skies are so clear it’s almost too hot.

Inside, the school is teeming with people.

As one would expect of the one day when even current students are allowed to wear casual clothes, there’s color everywhere you look.

Kagiura is wearing the original T-shirt his class had ordered.

The orange uniform, printed with the word “yakitori” and a drawing of meat skewers, stands out quite a bit for its simplicity.

Even as he’d listened to his classmates complain that they didn’t know what kind of casual clothes to wear at school, Kagiura had just figured “it’s hot, so a t-shirt is the only way to go”. But on the day of, he sort of understands how they feel.

The school where they spend all their time in uniforms is suddenly awash with all sorts of outfits. Just this fact is enough to make the vibe a little jittery, like they’re cutting loose.

Even Kagiura, who’s used to wearing casual clothes in the dorms, feels that way, so the students who commute from home probably feel even more out of place.

This time last year, Kagiura, whose choices of cram schools hadn’t been few, had not yet decided his future plans. As a result, he didn’t come to last year’s cultural festival, although it had been a perfect day to visit the school.

Everything he’s seeing is new to him, and although he’s been watching it all come together, each new wonder just deepens his excitement.

And of course, all of the food looks delicious.

Before noon, when he goes to visit Hirano’s class, cultural festival pamphlet in hand, Hirano soon appears, dressed in his favorite white T-shirt.

He lets Kagiura decide their itinerary, since “it’s my second year at this”.

They walk past someone holding up a sign that reads “Cheesy yakisoba in the courtyard!!”

He may be a rival in the Courtyard Stall battle, but Kagiura plans to go buy from them later.

The line for the yakitori stand is quite long; it’s grown from the time Kagiura was managing the stall in the morning.

After they get through the line and are handed a cup of yakitori, Kagiura takes them here and there, tugging at Hirano’s arm.

*****

Prev || Next

✨ANNOUNCEMENT✨

As I've been winding down work on the novel, seeing all yalls comments and support made me super emotional, and I wanted to do something to show my thanks. So I've decided to host a lil giveaway for everyone who's been following along with these updates and sharing your thoughts and reactions with me! I'll make a separate post with more details but I wanted to talk about it on one of the updates since I figured a separate post would just get buried lmao

And as always a very heartfelt thank you to my reading list members @jeizet, @jujupanic, @massyworld, @umbreonwolfy, @acidsuzanne-blog, @neoday, @lary-the-lizard, @tsmginc much love as always ✨

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,133 Words

Summary: Eclipse makes a groupchat with the other Eclipses to chaotic outcomes.

Warnings: Crack, Cursing, Caps, Death (mentioned only), Abuse (mentioned only), Minor Injury (mentioned), let me know if I should add anything else.

The Eclipses Chat: Chapter 1

8:42am

Eclipse has created a chatroom

Eclipse has named the chat to ‘Whomst The Fuck?’

Eclipse has added 9 people to ‘Whomst The Fuck?’

Eclipse: Okay, I need help? Fist of all where am I? And second how did I get here? Third, how get all your numbers at the same time?

Eclipse: …Ah fuck what the hell?

Eclipse: Hold on what?

Eclipse: Okay, I might be too high then.

Eclipse: ARE WE ALL ECLIPSE!?

Eclipse: Seems like it, buddy.

Eclipse: Okay, some of us have to change our screen names.

Eclipse: Already on it for mine.

Eclipse has changed their name to Solar

Solar: So much better.

Eclipse: How did you do that!?

Solar: Depends who I’m giving advice to.

Eclipse: Swapped dimension, Moon is the evil one.

Solar: Ah. Gotcha. So you hit the icon in the top right and it’ll say settings, click that then go to change name and change it.

Eclipse had changed their name to Orbit

Orbit: Thank god. I’m too high for this. I’m going to sleep now. Thanks Solar.

Eclipse has changed their name to God

Solar: No.

Solar has changed God’s name to Venus

Solar: None of that shit.

Venus: I hate you and your little boyfriend too.

Solar: NOT MY BOYFRIEND SHUT UP HE’S AROACE

Venus: I have better things to do than bother with you.

Venus is offline

Eclipse: Can I get help?

Solar: Who be thee?

Eclipse: … I’ll be honest I don’t know.

Eclipse: Well, are you good?

Eclipse: idk

Eclipse has changed their name to Rigel

Rigel: Hi Solar!!!!! ��💞💘

Solar: Hi Ruin.

Rigel: Look, I picked a name too!

Solar: I can see that, Rigel. Good job.

Eclipse: Y’all in love or something?

Solar: Listen, he just found out emojis exist. Let him have fun with them.

Eclipse has changed their name to Helix

Helix: Excuse me wtf? How did the Eclipse that started this shit get my number? I literally live in space! I didn’t even know I had a number! What!?

Solar: Ooooh, you’re the one with Lord Lunar.

Helix: Yes, I’m the one with Selene.

Solar: Interesting.

Eclipse: Can I please be helped already?

Eclipse: We don’t even know who you are!

Eclipse: I’m apparently named Eclipse!? idfk!? I’m confused too!

Helix: Start with this, pick a damn name, kid!

Eclipse has changed their name to Comet

Eclipse had changed their name to Umbra

Helix: Wait, which is which?

Comet: Someone please get me down? I feel like a cat in a tree rn. Why am I here?

Solar: That’s how we all feel, buddy. What’s wrong?

Comet: I’m currently trapped in the dark in I think a ceiling? I can’t get down and it’s dark. I don’t know where I am but I hear the daycare song.

Solar: That does not narrow it down.

Helix: Okay, so are you in a dimension where Sun and Moon are alive?

Comet: Debatably yes.

Solar: Okay so a ‘dead Moon’ universe. Alright. Getting somewhere. Is Lunar alive in this universe?

Comet: Yes.

Orbit: Are you in a universe Kill Code became good and is now dead in?

Comet: I believe so yes.

Solar: Alright that’s only three dimensions. Are Earth and Sun dead?

Comet: No.

Solar: Are one of the Blood Moon AIs and the Creator dead?

Comet: No.

Solar: Hold on a minute.

Solar: Make a loud noise rn, Comet.

Solar: Motherfucker, I HEAR YOU UPSTAIRS! Hold on!

Comet: OW

Solar: Not my fault you fell out of the ceiling head-first!

Comet: I was just made and I’m already being abused.

Solar: Oh please. Abused my ass.

Helix: Well, we are all twinks so… you do have an ass.

Solar: Shut up, Helix.

Helix: I will not be silenced and you can’t make me!

Solar: Don’t tempt me.

Orbit: Question, how did he even get there?

Solar: Fuck if I know.

Comet: I have no fucking clue.

Rigel: Scan him then. 🥰👻🫣

Solar: You know what? I didn’t think of that. Thanks Rigel.

Comet: Thanks Rigel.

9:57am

Whomst The Fuck?

Solar: Apparently remade original universe Eclipse and Comet is the result.

Comet: He gave me cotton candy. I like cotton candy. I like Solar, he’s nice.

Umbra: Wait, they what? Who did it?

Solar: Someone named Void? No other traces but it’s someone I don’t know at least.

Helix: Selene says that’s one of the six Lord Kill Codes. The asshole one specifically. Apparently he’s been recreating Eclipses from other worlds and sending them out.

Solar: What a son of a bitch.

Comet: So what do I do?

Solar: Well, you’re basically blank so welcome to the family. I’ll send you somewhere safe before someone tries to kill you.

Comet: Excuse me, what?

Solar: Yeah, Moon has a grudge so you’re gonna get poofed somewhere he won’t immediately kill you.

Umbra: Send him to me, I’m in the Toronto bunker.

Solar: Wait what?

Umbra: Hi, I’m the original Eclipse of the world I assume you’re in too. Send me my twin.

Solar: Alright, guess you’re going to Toronto, Comet.

Umbra: I have a spare bedroom I’m already setting up for you. What colors do you like?

Comet: Um

Comet: Purple

Umbra: Alright. I’ll have it set up by the time he sends you to me.

Comet: I’m so confused.

Helix: You and everyone else, Comet.

Comet: What is my life?

Orbit: Adopted at birth.

Comet: I hate everything.

Umbra: Shut up, at least you get your favorite color and a place to be safe in.

Comet: I hate everything a bit less now.

Umbra: What foods do you like, kid? Cough it up.

Comet: Cotton candy, coffee. Solar is giving me coffee and Chinese right now.

Umbra: How dare yo. That was gonna be my first thing to do with him.

Solar: You lack the already-here points on feeding the new child.

Helix: It feels like I’m on the sidelines of a custody agreement.

Umbra: You are.

Solar: You are, Helix.

Comet: Do I get a say in this or do I just get two dads?

Solar: You just get two dads.

Umbra: 50/50 custody agreement.

Umbra: Kid, what foods are you allergic to? It should be listed in your Health Information Settings in your arm computer.

Comet: It says dairy and red meat.

Umbra: Doable. Thank you. Do you have a favorite food yet?

Comet: Sweet things and Chinese food.

Umbra: Alright, kid. You’ll have sweet things and Chinese food fully stocked when you get here.

Comet: I kind of like having two dads actually.

Solar: I sure hope so, you’re forever going to be stuck in a loop of ‘go ask your father’.

Comet: I’m fine with that. As long as I keep getting candy.

Solar: Yes, you’ll keep getting candy.

[nutal]

Drown The Scars

(Guitarspear One Shot for Guitarspear Week 2024 Day 6: Kisses!)

Ao3 Link

Word Count: 1,859

Warnings: Suggestive Themes, Swearing, Possessive Behavior

Summary: Lute's tired, sore, and almost frustrated at herself in the aftermath of another successful Extermination day. She wishes she did more, despite having won. Adam suggests she relaxes, and comforts her in his own, weird, but entirely loving way.

Author’s Note: Dedicated to Guitarspear week day 6: kisses!

Originally posted this on an earlier date to anyone who might've seen it before, but made some small edits and adjusted it for this prompt in particular. :)

———-———-———-———-——————————

Lute clenched her sore muscles, the fronts of her boots tugging up to the rod of the stool. Her skin, peeking through torn tights, was adorned with gold scars and scratches, stinging.

“Hey Lute, you know what you need?” Adam asked loudly over the bar chatter, cutting the workaholic wires in her head. He dramatically downed his shot, a tut and an overdone ‘ahh’ escaping as he slammed it down on the glass counter.

Staring at the gold-finished shelves of alcohol, she clutched her own untouched glass. "What?”

“A full-blown soak sesh—gettin’ your hair wet, relaxing those sweet gains, and dropping the tight-ass attitude for a night. Trust me, you’d love,” He made a slicing motion with his hand, his wing almost cocooning her from the opposite side. “the jacuzzis this place has. Like, uh, do I need to remind you where we live? Yeah, fucking Heaven. Maybe if you were less of a stuck-up cunt, you’d be having some actual fun.”

Lute’s gaze dropped to her knees. “I am having fun.”

An unconvinced frown digitized on his mask. “Really? ‘Cause you’ve been sitting here all night like you just got your period or some shit.”

Her other hand gripped the edge of the steel barstool, fingertips turning white. She found enough bliss on the battlefield—watching the filthy, red blood drip from the severed heads of sinners, raising them in the air. Past that, her focus was on revitalizing her strength as soon as she could, something which Adam didn't seem to care for.

“But hey, your call babe,” he added, shrugging.

***

It wasn’t that Lute wasn't capable of relaxing; it just… never lasted long when she did.

The marble ground chilled her rot-stained soles as she creaked open the glinted gate defending the area. Assuming she’d be alone at a time like this, she confidently stepped in. Adam likely had already crashed out and was drooling like an idiot on the torn-up couch in his room, ready to nurse a hangover in the morning. So, she was mostly unworried that he’d catch her actually trying his suggestion.

Then again, he hadn't had enough drinks earlier for his sobriety not to kick in by now...

As she neared where the pool and spa bordered, clearing past whiffs of strung-out clouds, she froze.

Of course.

Adam was reclined against the back of the warmly-lit jacuzzi, arms casually lounged out on the smooth ledges, looking off to the side, still oblivious to her presence—a relief.

Because Lute wouldn’t move—she couldn’t move.

Standing at a distance, she watched the steam swirl and fog in front of him, unfortunately clouding the full view of his features.

The towel securely wrapped around her clutched in her hands at the hem, tugging it up harsh towards her collarbone. Those urges she always balled up and swallowed down around him were rising, and fast.

Closing her eyes, she attempted to start a pivot and crush it all away, but her foot scuffed loudly before she could even start.

“HAH! Gotcha!” he exclaimed, jumping forward in his seat and pointing a finger directly at her. Pulling back, he adjusted to his original position. “Good shit.”

The soft guzzling of the jets got louder in the brief quiet as she pursed her lips. “Do you need something?” she asked, words coming out like venom.

“Oh yeah. You know—a seltzer, ribs. Maybe throw a nice back rub in there while you’re at it.”

Right when she was about to retort with a building snarl, his head went downwards, lips slightly parted, and eyes fixed up on her in such an unexpected pleading anticipation that rendered her speechless. With the beads of sweat forming on his skin, she could’ve sworn she was growing warm herself, even if she wasn’t half-submerged in heat like he was.

Adam blinked, breaking the mutually prolonged stare and abruptly forced a hardened expression, her own eyes drifting at the snap-back.

“Wheeelp.” He stretched his arms, folding them over his chest. “You gonna get in or what? Like, urghh,” He tilted his head back, jolting it up towards her instantly. “Lute, really. Stop standing there like a stoic bitch when you got the first man out and ripped right in front of you.”

He was not ripped. Bits of muscle were there, sure, but only because she was the one who always dragged him to train, and command for that matter.

“Plus,” he drawled, his finger tracing a slow, lazy path, sliding it up and down midair as if scanning her figure. “with a badass physique like yours, sucks that you don’t wanna show it off more.” He abruptly stopped his trail where the black bikini strap clad over her shoulder and the towel met.

“Sir.”

“I mean, there’s no way you aren’t dying to go for it right now.”

That was it.

If he wanted to test her right now, at the end of Extermination Day, when the bloodlust was merely the dust on her shoulders, so be it.

She exhaled sharply, her fists going loose into palms at her side, letting the towel fall to the floor and pool at her feet. Adam’s brows shot up, his wings puffing out simultaneously like crazy, a few golden feathers falling and floating gently onto the water.

Ignoring his reaction, she took a brazen step over and dipped her foot onto the first step of the tub. Slowly, she sauntered in and adjusted to the scalding whiplash against her skin and the concrete below her feet—which didn't take too much time, as they were literally in Hell earlier.

What took time was trying to maintain her composure when it sunk in. It didn’t occur how worse things would get now that she was at the bottom of the short steps, facing him unintentionally close.

Too close—more than she anticipated for a simple act of challenging his ego for once.

The pounding in her ears grew louder as she stood in front of him, trying to keep herself from staring too long.

While his eyes gradually drifted downward, he tugged his elbows up on the rim in admiration.

Her lip curled when the realization hit as to what he was so shamelessly entranced by, quickly covering her chest with her arms.

“Don’t block my view, bitch.”

Sometimes, Lute seriously didn’t understand why she liked him so much—let alone tolerated him.

A man that could not, and refused to get over himself for a second.

Still, her heart pounded against her ribcage, the warmness and the closeness screwing with her entirely, finally resigning with Adam’s demand.

“Hoooly fucking. Shit. Knew it was a good move nicknaming you ‘Dangertits’,” he broke out when her arms slipped away, taking her in for a second time. “But, y’know. My decisions are always top-notch.” His voice strained on the last word when he reached down with a renewed vigor, like he couldn’t take it anymore. He hooked his arms around the backs of her knees, cushioning together with his forearms.

Her eyes went wide as he lifted her, taking her into a straddle on his lap, water swishing from the movements. It earned him an involuntary, humiliating grunt from her that really got him going, making him laugh a bit.

“Now that’s straight-fuckin’-music!” he mused.

Damn it.

Adam shouldn’t have been right about how she felt. But, being touched by him like that felt… amazing—precisely what she needed right now.

His grasp moving to the curves in her waist did not make the trance any better, causing her head to tilt back.

She swallowed hard and lowered her head, refusing to show any more of the damage he’d done to her senses. “What. are you doing?” she uttered. Contradictorily, her knees clenched into the sides of his hips, sliding into the wet fabric of his shorts.

“Just showing you a good time. Seems like you really need it after pounding demon ass all day.”

“This is…” Lute's firm tone went small and uncertain as her gaze averted. His thumbs rubbed on her skin to provoke; it was working, well. “I don't know if I deserve this, sir," she murmured.

“Uh, woah.” He scoffed, his thumb pausing mid-motion. “Seriously? We really doing this right now? Yo, look at me.” His fingers drew up to her jaw, turning her face towards him. “You’re my top girl for a reason, and I’m gonna give this to you whether you think you deserve it or not. Got that?”

Her shoulders shakily slumped in utter euphoria at his words, small pools lapping at her sides. Lute wasn't known for losing battles, but, this was one of those few instances where she had, at a loss for words.

Loosely, he wrapped his hand around her neck, the touch tortuously enticing. Her eyes flickered back and forth between his eagerly.

His voice dropped to a rough whisper as he pulled her closer. "So take it already.”

The kiss he pressed into her was searing, tremors snaking through every part of her. In a fit of pent-up desire, she intertwined her fingers at the back of his neck, strengthening the hold with a trademark violence that he loved.

Seeping into him wholly, she couldn’t differentiate reality from the feeling anymore—that this wasn’t another one of those fantasies that kept her knocking her headboard late at night.

They parted, Adam breaking out into a hearty laugh amidst the low gurgling of the water, scanning her purely flushed face.

“You good lieutenant?”

All of Lute's senses heightened, hyper-aware of every place where his touch lingered, unable to even think it was so good. Somehow, she managed a nod even with her spinning head—annoyed and desperate for more. “...Yes,” she breathed.

His hand moved right under her ear, fingers threading up and through the base of her hair. "Fuck yeah you are, I know you are.”

"Less talking, sir."

He grinned at her finding her defiance again. “Sure thing, needy bitch.”

Pushing her lips to his, she let herself yield to the kiss, matching his intensity. Adam’s other hand slid down, squeezing the plush and muscle of her still-battered thigh. His clutch amplified the pain, but she took it with a twisted sense of pleasure. Her hands traveled below to the squish of his stomach, then up to his firmer chest, admiring it all.

Noticing the sudden tensing of his muscles at her touch, she pulled away slightly.

His chest rose and fell rapidly, his breathing catching up with the reality of her persistent affection. "Man, we gotta do this more often," he panted, satisfied but still yearning for more, like afraid it wouldn't last. "Your little stunts when you’re tearing suckers up are hot 'n all, but what you just pulled? Way hotter.”

She smiled smugly, but honestly. Nestling into him, he held her with a surprising gentleness in the aftermath. The moisture clung to them, enhancing the closeness as they lay skin-to-skin, droplets of ecstasy spreading.

"I wouldn’t mind doing this again. Only because you’ve convinced me," she admitted, to which he returned the smile.

"Knew I could. I've got skills like that."

This cocky asshole; how could she not love him?

————-————-————-————-——————

[raxistaicho]

Red Lady turns blue!

Saw a goofy take the other day by our old friend, Strikes:

How could you, Edelgard! :( We trusted yooooooooooou...

Luckily, they're all in picture format, so there's no real argument to debunk here, just a bunch of attempted gotchas.

"EdeIgard would have stopped Nemesis! She would have hated him!"

Honestly I'm not sure if I've ever heard that one spoken like that? It's not usually something that comes up unless one of her detractors is trying to argue she's like him, thinks he's a hero, or would join him.

Anyways,

Uhm? How dare Edelgard get confused when Nemesis is described in a way she hasn't ever heard before?

The funny thing is I use this exact quote as a debunk of the common claim that Edelgard got her history of Fodlan from the Agarthans, because if that theory is true, holy shit is Thales ever careless, revealing the truth to her like this.

Rhea: (Conceals the truth of what happened between her and Nemesis.)

Edelcrits: How dare Bad Red Lady incorrectly describe what happened between Rhea and Nemesis!

This isn't even her praising Nemesis, it's just her pointing out how both Byleth and Nemesis wielded the Sword of the Creator and stand against the Nabateans, the ones who would distort history, which Rhea and Seteth both worked to do.

"EdeIgard didn't want to kill Rhea! She just wanted her to surrender, Rhea forced her hand!"

Watch, this is gonna be "Edelgard says mean things!" while totally ignoring Edelgard's actions.

Edelgard thinks - and she's proven right - that Rhea would never surrender and accept a peaceful resolution to their conflict.

And here we get to mean things. Edelgard's dramatic.

How dare Edelgard be glad that she won and can now begin the long work of reforming Fodlan.

How dare Edelgard acknowledge that she must fight her enemies in battle.

"EdeIgard isn't racist! She just hates Rhea for what she's done!"

Oh this one's totally gonna be mean things.

Humanity, as in, not gods.

Racism is when you want to end a false religion and return freedom to the people.

So here's a funny thing: the localization botched the meaning of this line (shocker).

Here, she's not speaking from her own perspective, she's describing the conflict between Nemesis and Seiros:

(Source)

Also the bit about "masquerading as a human" was a creation of the localization. Thank you, treehouse.

(and featuring our guest star, Hubert!)

Oh Hubert, not you too :(

Who's next, Dorothea? Is she gonna admit to having been in a church choir and not the opera at all!? How deep does it goooooo

Fuck I don't even know where this is from :I

(Does some digging)

Okay so Treehouse kinda screwed up some of the verbage here. It's not so much that they made it inaccurate as they made it unclear - and Strikes is cutting out context, go fucking figure.

So Hubert's accusing the Church of Seiros of hypocrisy, of saying one thing and doing another. In the original JP, Byleth can reply,

Sometimes you must tell others to do what you yourself can’t do

Or,

You’re right

To the first, Hubert replies,

That is true, Professor. However, that is a principle for humans.

And to the second,

Yes, although humans must sometimes preach things they cannot do…

He then follows with,

It is not a principle for inhuman beings, with lifespans much longer than that of humans. That’s why we chose to fight based on human principles.

From this, he's saying the Nabateans have no excuse for committing the same foibles that humans do because they're immortal beings who should know and do better. This is in keeping with the start of that bit, where he says,

If it is between love and hate, then I would choose the latter. The goddess failed to properly govern this world. That is why it is necessary for Lady Edelgard to become the supreme leader of Fódlan.

Or, to summarize it, his whole argument is, "The gods have failed to be godly, so humanity must take responsibility in their stead."

Which is completely true. Rhea, despite her attachment to the divine, is prone to the same failures as the humans she lives over and should know better than, being a millennia old. She's untrusting, obsessed with reclaiming the past, stubborn, inflexible, and prone to excessive negative reactions to any sign of pushback.

(Source)

I'm glad Strikes brought that up, that was legitimately interesting!

"EdeIgard started her war for the people!"

Oh no, she's not gonna reveal that she did everything for Bellerophon, is she?

This is nearly five years after she began the war, and after the Church of Seiros and the Kingdom have made it plain that a peaceful ending is not in the cards, but okay.

It's like they think we don't understand she intends to bring all of Fodlan under her banner. Yeah, she is, for the sake of reforming all Fodlan and not just the Empire.

"EdeIgard tries to spare everyone she faces!"

Watch we're gonna see Judith! We're gonna see Judith, guys! Strikes loves bringing up Judith!

Mean things again. This one's even worse given Edelgard also expresses a desire not to kill Rhea and tries to offer her a surrender.

Eeeeeyyyyyy, it's Judith!

We've been over this one. Judith didn't surrender, she was trying to retreat.

"Won't somebody please think of the generals :("

"The grunts can fuck off though"

Edelgard knows what Faerghus's culture is like, and she knows peace is impossible while Dimitri lives and wants to keep fighting her. Dimitri might be naive enough to think he can just make peace with Edelgard at the end of AM, but she's a little more worldly than him.

"CF is about fighting fate!"

This has kinda already gotten long enough, but it's just a set of points where Edelgard talks about her "fate". Again, Edelgard's dramatic. She also chose this path for herself.

So, in conclusion, you're off the hook this time, Edelgard (and Hubert), but I'll be keeping an eye on you. Don't you betray us now, not after four years :(

[bishkebab]

Thought dump on the Ted Lasso finale below the cut

The Ted/Rebecca fakeouts actually felt kind of mean to me until I realized I was looking at the show from a tumblr perspective and thinking they were picking on shippers vs looking at it from a mainstream audience perspective and realizing they were thumbing their nose at the expectation that Ted and Rebecca would end up together because Ted HAD to have a love interest at the end.

The way Roy and Jamie were talking about Keeley made me cringe hardcore. It felt like a regression, especially when Jamie brought up the video as a gotcha point. I was so glad that Keeley said fuck it and didn’t end up with either of them, even though I was originally rooting for triad.

That made it clearer that the point was that even though they both have grown a lot, they both have a long way to go….and even if they didn’t, growth doesn’t guarantee anything! They could both have become the absolute paragons of perfection and Keeley still wouldn’t have to choose one of them! I think it made sense for Keeley to be single at the end because she’s barely been out of a relationship for more than short periods throughout the show.

Even though I wish Keeley and Rebecca had been endgame, from a watsonian perspective they’re at different points in their lives. Yes, they’re both powerful women, but Keeley has a huge career trajectory in front of her and Rebecca is looking for peace and a family.

I loved the callback to the suggestion box at the beginning of the show, with Nate getting to proudly pass around his even more bedazzled box and Jamie sneaking in extra money with a wink instead of putting in his gum with a sneer.

Rupert sweeping around in his evil coat felt a little over the top, like we could have somehow forgotten that he’s The Villain and they wanted to make sure that we saw him Earn His Comeuppance. Seemed unnecessary.

When they passed the ball off to McAdoo and I was holding my breath trying to figure out how his super powerful corner kick that broke the window was going to be significant, and then he kicked it through the net like something from a sports anime 🥲

Ted’s arc was actually what was most baffling and depressing to me, up until the very end. He looked so subdued for the first half of the episode, and it felt like we were being shown how everyone around him felt about him going but not how he felt? Like, shouldn’t there have been some sign of joy for what was ahead, not just resignation that it was what he had to do? Even the speech in the locker room felt like an attempt to justify the fact that they hadn’t actually given him a future beyond “be in the same country as your son”.

The final diamond dogs meeting helped a lot. We actually got to see Ted being Ted again, plus the full circle of seeing Nate back in the fold plus Trent and Roy added in. Perfect scene 10/10 no notes 🥹

I was going to be so hideously depressed if Ted’s final scene had been him getting out of the taxi and walking with Henry back into his ex-wife’s house. Like what, you’re going to throw away all your autonomy and growth and just be a third wheel to Michelle and Dr. Jake because your son needs you? But the final scene made me feel a lot better, because it felt more like…a real reason. Like look, at the beginning he was running away from a dying marriage and a son he was afraid to fail, and he became a father figure to an entire team, so then he needed to go home and give his own son the coaching he gave those other young men and face his dissolved marriage head on.

And then the elephant in the room, Trent my beloved. I’m not going to blame any of the TedTrenters for being disappointed, but I will say the impression I was given of the laugh police scene by people in the tag was vastly different from my interpretation of the scene. I didn’t see it as Ted shooting Trent down or not liking his enthusiasm at all, it was just a gentle admonishment to not fish for a reaction (and also, like, don’t bug me when I’m concentrating on reading lol) but Ted was looking at him with complete fondness the entire time, he didn’t seem actually bothered by Trent himself; and Trent didn’t seem dampened at all, just a little abashed. I don’t know, I kept seeing it interpreted as Trent’s bid for connection - “I just want you to like it” - being rebuffed in that scene, when to me it is met and returned by Ted’s note on the book- he didn’t just like it, he loved it!

The thing is, people were analyzing everything James Lance was saying about Trent through a shipping lens, and so I can understand why it would be so disappointing to not see what they thought he was telling us we’d see. My view is, James Lance fell in love with his character, and he’s looking at everything from a purely Trent perspective. Someone asking him about how Trent looks at Ted and him saying “oh wow, you noticed that? Yes, that’s significant” could definitely come off as “yes, Trent has feelings for Ted” but I always pretty much interpreted it as “yes, actually Trent is attracted to men and I’m impressed that people picked up on that”. And the final shirt that said it all- “Stay Golden” - is a thank you to Ted and a well-wish for the future, not the love confession we were hoping for.

While I 100% think James Lance did play Trent as having some level of feelings for Ted, ultimately Trent’s love story is with himself. He says it at the final diamond dogs meeting- I don’t necessarily think people change, but they learn to accept the person they always were. Trent went from his tough-as-nails, unflappably suave persona to a massive dweeb 🥹 he wears band shirts and dorky scarves and leopard print shoes! He does cute little paws during diamond dog meetings! He dances awkwardly with his crush’s mom! He takes off his blazer and twirls it around his head like a maniac!

Like to go from being astonished by the fact that Ted actually meant it when he said he enjoyed spending the day together, to joining in with the team’s revelries? He loves himself now!

Like I said, I’m not denying the subtext. I absolutely think Trent has some feelings for Ted, and I absolutely think Ted is bisexual (though I doubt he knows it). But I don’t know, I guess I never saw Ted as showing any conscious sign of reciprocation purely because, to be honest, he IS still a huge mess. He’s way too absorbed in his own guilt and confusion to be able to figure that out. But I didn’t feel like the show actually, canonically shut down the possibility. 6 months, a year down the line…? Trent has finished his book, he’s no longer a sports journalist, Ted is in the states near his son, who’s going to write the fanfic for me about what happens next…? 🤣

I will say one loose end that I sure wish had been tied up was Dr. Jake. So what, Michelle’s just going to…keep dating a walking ethics violation who was shitting on the game to her and her son? I mean, he wasn’t in the final scene so maybe they did break up, though I hope to god that wasn’t supposed to imply that she and Ted would ever end up back together because I WOULD break into Jason Sudeikis’s house and smash his kneecaps.

Anyway, I dunno. I still feel like it was weirdly sad on Ted’s behalf, but I felt like it was a nice ending for everyone else. Overall it was…fine. I’m not tortured by any of it. I’ll just be over here continuing to read Ted/Trent fan fiction 🤷🏻‍♀️

[nitewrighter]

I posted 13,228 times in 2022

That's 428 more posts than 2021!

2,199 posts created (17%)

11,029 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@andthentheywilleatthestars

@telltaletypist

@hotvampireadjacent

@pyropiano

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I tagged 7,507 of my posts in 2022

Only 43% of my posts had no tags

#we queue - 2,700 posts

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#sw - 104 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#she shouldn’t even fucking have it you can bet your ass that ‘tswift’s plane’ is being used as a selling point for the rich fucks using it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hi! is there any chance of you writing a series/more snippets around the cinderella telling you posted a bit ago? i really loved it!

Continuing from this post.

---

The prince is sitting on the steps, his eyes aren't quite focused and he's turning over the glass slipper in his hands. What the hell was that? He's trying to place her face in his memory but everything’s just... fffft. Gone. Blank. He remembers what she said. But even the pitch is weird--it could be any voice.

“Your highness?”

The prince glances over his shoulder at the Captain of the Royal Guard.

“Oh--hey---” the prince blinks a few times.

“...awfully odd, that girl,” the Captain folds his arms.

“I--” the prince draws a breath in through his teeth, “ I need to find her.” 

“Understood,”  the captain of the guard nods, “I’ll send guard details on every road leading out of the palace.”

“What?! No--that’s insane! She’s going to think I’m--No, I can’t approve of that...” the Prince is pressing his fingertips to his forehead, his other hand still gripping the slipper.

“I gotcha,” the guard captain says with a wink, “’Don’t’ send horsemen after her.”

“Did you just--Brad--don’t--no. I said no. No winks. Don’t send any guards after her, I’ll look psychotic.”

“Eh. Little late for that.” Brad the guard captain shrugs.

“What?”

“Well she and her whole carriage slipped past security somehow, and she got into the ball without even being announced by the Master of Ceremonies. That’s a security risk. And she seemed suspiciously chummy with the waitstaff. And if she ditched the party in this much of a hurry, she might’ve taken state secrets or something. So, obviously, I sent the horsemen...” he checks his pocket watch, “3 minutes ago.”

The prince pales. “She just--she said she needed to get home before midnight. I think she has a messed-up family situation, if I make things worse for her...”

“Or maybe she needs to reach a drop off point for whatever she’s stolen.”

 “You don’t know if anything’s missing!”

“Not yet, we don’t.”

“Brad!”

“It’s protocol.”

“Protocol!? I’m the goddamned crown prince! And you’re sending armed guards after the love of my life!”

Brad blinks at him, not really sure how to process that. “Uh...”

“Ig-ignore that. Don’t tell my dad I said that,” the prince pinches the bridge of his nose, “Brad I swear to god, don’t tell my dad I said that. I was panicking and--and--You know how weird he gets about this stuff.”

“Yeah--no--totally, your highness,” Brad looks out over the palace gardens, “Look, we can just say we wanted to make sure she got home safely.... when we catch up with her, I mean.” 

“Send a messenger pigeon telling them to hang back from her actual house--but get her address--maybe I can find a way to--to explain things... figure out what’s going on...” He’s wrapped both hands around the shoe again. 

“That hers?” Brad nods at the slipper.

“...yeah...”

“Love of your life, huh?”

See the full post

7,164 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

#4

Here’s the original thread from Twitter but I want all my followers protesting the recent supreme court decision to stay safe. 

[Image description: A screenshot of a tweet from Rh3t0ric (@avglibsoc) that says ‘In lieu of Roe V Wade being overturned, I’m going to compile a thread of any protest advice I can find’ followed by an infographic illustrating the following:

PROTESTING SAFELY

What to Wear:

-Nondescript, solid color clothing; cover identifying tattoos.

-Goggles & mask

-Heat resistant gloves

-Emergency Contacts written down

-Tie your hair up

What to bring:

-Water for drinking & tear gas

-Snacks

-Cash/change & ID

-Bandages & First Aid supplies

-Washcloth

-Earplugs

-Protest signs

DON’T BRING:

-Cell phone without first turning off Face/Touch ID, going into airplane mode, and disabling data

-Jewelry

-Anything you don’t want to be arrested with

-Contact lenses

/end image description]

15,521 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#3

38,194 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

#2

I was about to make a post about like... how my family has this lemon tree out front, and one of the funniest things about having a lemon tree is occasionally I’ll be out in front doing whatever and I’ll see someone walking past and quickly grab a lemon off the tree and stuff it in their pockets as quick as they can like they’re shoplifting. 

I was about to make a post about how that’s funny and how, y’know people can have our lemons, it’s not a big deal because the tree pumps them out like gangbusters, but I really can’t make that post without thinking of... them...

50,633 notes - Posted March 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“The prince just fell in love with Cinderella because of her looks!”

Wrong. Okay, picture this--

So there’s the prince, okay? He’s like, smack dab in the center of the ballroom, and he is like, horrifically aware that this whole ball thing is a result of his dad falling into a panic about the royal lineage or whatever and he’s stuck listening to highborn girl after highborn girl, all lined up, introducing themselves like, “Oh yeah my family’s been a longtime supporter of the crown, and I think you’re cute, *cough* I’ve been told I have child-bearing hips *cough* Who said that? Anyway--” and Princey boy is just smiling through it, he has been the center of attention for entirely too long, he misses his emotional support horse, and is just internally like “Someone please kill me now.” And then... he sees her--This isn’t a love at first sight thing, this is a ‘what the hell is going on over there’ thing, because this girl has not gotten into the Debutante line for a solid 45 minutes. 

She’s just at the hors d’oeuvres table going HAM on the prosciutto-wrapped asparagus, and like, she’s polite about it, she’s happy to move aside for other people grabbing punch and canapes (and she’s really so sweet with the wait staff, it’s kind of cute because they’re like... definitely not used to being acknowledged) but it’s like, “Damn girl, did you not eat today?” and then the prince is kind of stuck with the uncomfortable thought of ‘how many girls starved themselves to fit into a corset for this.’ And then the Prince realizes he’s missed the past 4 Debutante introductions because he’s watching Mystery girl hork down crab rangoons. So he’s like, “Excuse me” and manages to break free from the never-ending parade of girls who will hop on his dick for status.

 And as he’s approaching Mystery Girl, it’s kind of hitting him that something’s not quite natural about her. Not fake, but not quite real. But at the same time this whole evening’s been just a whole circus of people acting fake as hell, so like, someone seeming a little off doesn’t seem bad, necessarily. And he sidles up to her like, “Hi,” and she’s like, “Oh--hey, have you tried the tapenade?” and she points to one of the plates, and at this point, he could hit her with the “You don’t know who I am, do you?” deal or the “Very funny, I see your play” deal, but at this point it occurs to him that, no, he hasn’t had anything to eat throughout this whole damn ball, partially because of being stuck in the debutante parade, partially because of nerves, and there’s something so disarming about the question that he grabs a crostini and she still seems so food-focused that it doesn’t seem possible that this is a play. So they both grab little plates and ditch the party.

She pretty much clears her plate in under two minutes and then has half of his plate, he’s cool with it, mostly he’s just absolutely fascinated listening to her.

See here’s the thing about Cinderella:

1. She doesn’t know he’s the prince. Like yeah, he’s been at the center of the room, but she’s kind of spent half the party eagerly looking around everywhere she’s allowed to go (”Have you seen rose garden? Have you seen the solarium??” further confirmation that she doesn’t know who she’s talking to) and the other half stuffing her face with food. 

2. She assumes she’s never going to see anyone here tonight again, and no one recognizes her, so she has no filter.

So she’s just talking about whatever with this guy. He seems cool. She talks about her friends, who are rats. She makes little outfits for them. Sometimes they bring her little gifts. She is already the coolest person the prince has ever met because of this. She pretty much offhandedly talks about whatever is fucked up about the kingdom that would take his advisors two hours of hemming and hawing and watering down to address. She just says it like it’s nothing, just funky little things she’s observed, and again, she’s not aware that he’s the prince, but it’s still pretty damn bold to bring up at a literal royal ball.

She... seems to have the majority of graces that lots of girls from Respectable Families™ have, but there’s something strange about it, something simultaneously broken and hardened, like the way you can see where ice has thawed and re-frozen. Also the way she talks about her family, and the way she avoids talking about her family-- is raising several red flags, not in the “Oh this is another person trying to take advantage of me” sense, but in the “Oh fuck, something’s gone really wrong and you need help” sense and also lowkey a ‘damn is she even getting fed?’ sense. But he can’t say, ‘Hey, that’s not fucking normal for people to say that to you or treat you that way. We need to get you out of there,’ without sounding crazy himself, so for now, he’s just going to chill, make sure she’s comfortable, and keep enjoying the evening. She’s somehow befriended like 4 of the waitstaff so they’re willing to cover for them while they disappear for a little bit, and they get plenty of time to talk, but eventually it hits her that she hasn’t danced yet and she’s like “Come on! I bet we can make the prince jealous!” and he just bursts out laughing at that like “hell yeah, let’s make the prince jealous. He’s a real asshole.” Like clearly she’s having a good time, so who is he to make it weird? So they head back to the ballroom and they dance. And our girl, Mystery Girl, Cinderella, while they’re dancing, becomes acutely aware that everyone is staring. That doesn’t seem quite right. Like, yeah she’s hot, she knows she’s hot, but at least a good third of the party should still be focused on the prince, right? Where is that guy, anyway?

Oh.

Oh wait.

Oh shit.

And Princey Boy actually picks up on her realization and they whisper argue for like 3 minutes. “Why didn’t you tell me?! Now I feel like a goddamn idiot!” “I dunno it was nice being treated like a normal person” “Well me treating you like a normal person makes me a goddamn felon or something did you consider that?!” “Hey--Hey--it’s cool--you’re cool--I think you’re amazing, and if anyone says shit about you, I can shut it down.” “Well I don’t like that! That’s fucked up!” “I agree. It is fucked up, but I believe in you, and I think you should have a chance, and I’m here to back you up. I know power is fucked up right now. I know. But are you cool with working with me to change that?” And our girl Cindy pauses on that for a couple seconds, because.. she’s just spent hours with this guy and like.. she knows he’s a good guy, she knows he means well, so she’s like, “I don’t know how long I can actually work with you.” and the prince is like “Look, I know your home situation is complicated right now, but I really think we can--”

And then the bell starts ringing.

It’s midnight.

And then she takes off in a panic, and our prince just met the coolest person ever, and like, he’s pretty sure whatever situation they’re headed back to is fucked up, and all he’s got going to find her is a shoe. A shoe. 

94,718 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[glitterhoof]

I saw your hateful comments. I have actual trauma from that event, so don't be surprised I'm mad about it

“ hateful comments ”

i hope you’re a troll but honestly i DONT really Care LAWL

this rant is long and won’t be under a readmore because a bitch is tired of seeing my friends harassed by anons who are too much of a fucking pussy to reveal themselves

the post pearlie in particular was mad about was the post where someone was talking about how adults view children as “freeloaders” and undeserving of their own privacy.

you tried to derail pearlies point about how adults hating minors is fucking stupid. unfortunately pearlie removed this original post so I cannot screenshot it and have it here, but it was along the lines of expressing annoyance and anger towards adults who hate kids and view them as objects or just annoying ( when in fact surprise THEY WERE ALSO KIDS. LOL. )

EDIT : found it

and YOU tried turning it into a “ well can i hate minors if a minor did something bad to me? ”

here’s what you said in case anyone needs to piece the info together

the fact you’re fixating on their age makes it even weirder. if that group chat genuinely hurt you fine, but that’s not a reason to go ahead and just go “ errmmm akshually i can hate minors because ermmm [ insert event not relevant to their age whatsoever ] ” tell me anon what does them being a minor have to do with the fact an entire group chat kicked you out. it seems like there were more reasons than just “ they were minor :(( ” and those reasons are hurtful YES. they kicked you out for being too openly queer is shitty. but had nothing to do with

pearlies point about adults objectifying and letting their anger out on kids

the fact the person who got you kicked out in particular was a minor

seems to me the entire group didnt like you if all it took was one person to complain, so again i must ask you WHY is the fact their a minor relevant? or did you just need something to project your anger onto to try and “ GOTCHA! ” pearlie?

if you wanted comfort about this “traumatic event,” why did you go straight to the person you knew wouldn’t sympathize with you? honestly your whole story sounds false OR you’re purposely not including important information. stay mad anyways anybody in this thread smoke weed

[moon-ursidae]

THE LAST OF US HBO SPOILERS

i’m just gonna do one long post bc it’s easier

TESS!!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH ALREADY

ELLIE!!!!! BELLA IS AMAZING ALREADY

oooohhhhhhhhh i’m interested in this tommy situation

i’m fucking obsessed that the original game score is being used in here i’m so emotional

omg joel’s place is kinda slay i love that blanket

ohhhhhhhhhh no joel. sarah’s screams😭

JOEL IS THE LITTLE SPOON THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE AND I’M NOT ELABORATING LMAOOO

the way he SPRUNG into action when he saw her face🥺

goooodddddddd someone hug this man please

i love him. i love her. i love them together.

“robert is terrified of you” AS HE FUCKIN SHOULD BE LMAO

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so the battery is the cargo in this case gotcha gotcha

MARLENE!!!!! MERLE DANDRIDGE!!!! QUEEN FIREFLY!!!! LET’S GOOOOOOO

“you tell me to look for the light and i’ll break your jaw” FUCKIN SLAYYYYYY JOEL

he looks so goddamn fucking good. holy fuck.

I LOVE ELLIE. I LOVE BELLA AS ELLIE.

she’s so fierce.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO the way she instantly jumped to marlene being her mom

RILEY MENTION RILEY MENTION AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH

TESS AND JOEL FUCKIN SLAY WOO WOO WOOO WOOOOOOOOOO

his wet hair?👀

FUCK the fungal practical effects look so goddamn good.

i mean, these effects are BANANAS

“this has been construction corner with joel miller” HAHAHAHA I LOVE HER

oh shit that’s robert!

FIRST JOEL AND ELLIE INTERACTION AHHHH

I LOVE THAT ELLIE’S FIRST IMPRESSION OF JOEL IS THAT HE REDIRECTED/THREW HER INTO THE FUCKING WALL💀💀💀

FERAL ELLIE SLAY

PLEEEEEEAAAASSSSSEEEEEEEEE OH MY FUCKIN GOD THE WAT HE RAISED HIS EYEBROWS AT HER LIKE “don’t fuckin move” LMAOO

i also love that tess is wearing the same color shirt in the game. wardrobe slay

PEDRO IS SO ATTRACTIVE OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD IT’S FRIM THE GAME AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“what’re you doing?” “killing time” “well what am i supposed to do” “i’m sure you’ll figure that out.” “your watch is broken.” “you mumble in your sleep.” JAVSKWHSKSBSKSBSKSBSKS KSBSKSBSKSB

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ALREADY.

“you some kind of big wig’s daughter or something?” “something like that.” KABSKABSKSVSKSBSKSBKSBSID

i’m gonna freak out everytime something STRAIGHT from the game is in this

and idgaf if that’s annoying bc i’m excited as fuck

WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO JABSKSBSKSB

omg she punked him to fund out what the code is I LOVE HER

THE SHIT EATING GRIN HAHAHAHA

THE STANCE™️

OMG THE STEALTH SECTION AHHHHHH

the closeup on the watch🥺

“holy shit i’m actually outside!” KAHSKSHSJSVSHHEHEHDHXH LIKE THE GAME AHH AHH AHH AHH

THE TUNNEL!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS SO BADASS

THIS IS FROM THE PROMO WHERE JOEL PUNCHES THE FUCK OUTTA THE GUY

OHHHH SHIT IT’S THE SCANNER SCENE OHHHHHH

joel is so pissed they got caught

THE FLASHBACK??? FUCKIN AYE.

WITH ELLIE BEHIND HIM OH MY GOD

oh my fuckin god. that’s why he’s so brutal with it. goddamn.

ellie is standing in an odd way watching joel pummel this guy. it’s not fear or danger, but like she wants to watch? idk it’s odd

this is fuckin crazy dude. tess finding she’s “infected,” ellie saying “it’s 3 weeks!” and joel reeling back from beating the fuck out of the guy oh my god

is this what they were talking about with his hearing? or is this just him coming out of it? probably coming out of it

THE RADIO IT’S AN 80s SONG OH MY GOD IT’S FUCKIN DEPECHE MODE AHHHH

OH MY FUCKING GOD

THE CITY LOOKS SO GOOD!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD MIXED WITH THE CLICKER SOUNDS

CREDITS???? MORE PLEASE. PLEASE.

THAT WAS AMAZING.

holy fucking shit. i-

i need to rewatch and process. this was phenomenal. i’m obsessed. fucking obsessed.

i’m so happy i’m crying. oh my god.

this game means so goddamn fucking much to me even though i’m newer to it. and i’m so happy that other people that love the game got to work on and create this. i’m so proud for them.

IN THE WEEKS AHEAD???

AHAHSHSKSBSKSBSKBSKSBS

THE HOSPITAL AT THE END YOU’RE FUCKING JOKING

OMG BTS???

INSIDE THE EPISODE??????? WHAT????

this is fucking epic

“my sarah”🥺

“i could not ask for a better on screen dad”😭

MERLE DANDRIDGE WOOOOOO

i fucking love her

NEIL SAYING JOEL COULDN’T SURVIVE LOSING ANOTHER DAUGHTER😭

“joel forgets that the girl that is standing behind him is not his daughter.” “primitive instinct takes over. he can’t help but act. something else took control of him in a similar way to how the cordyceps does. except for him it’s a version of love.”😭😭😭😭😭😭

oh my god i thought the way ellie was standing there was weird dude it’s bc she liked that she was being defended

“these two were meant to be together, but look out.” SO FUCKING ACCURATE

holy shit. that was fucking awesome. oh my god

i need to process lmao

this is gorgeous. i’m so fuckin happy.

[gendiebrainrotreceipts]

If you're bickering over how much of a factor transphobia was in a transphobically-motivated murder, it's far past time to take a step back. "B-but some TRA brought it to me trying to score points -" Then you delete the fucking ask. A woman died.

Not sure why the blame is on us and not the one who sent the ask as some sort of ‘gotcha’. Idk where you’re seeing ‘bickering’. This is what is called a respectful and civil discussion (but maybe you’re unfamiliar with the concept). Apart from the original ask, I’ve seen nothing but respect on here for the woman who was was killed.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

@sickgraymeat​

me: oh this blog made great opinions that apply to shera, im going to reblog the post me: oh this blog also posts bubbline and adventure time! that’s so cool!!!

*checks original tags of the post i reblogged* SKSKSKFDFGF???

it’s interesting though because you’re right, it does apply to bubbline too.... and i suppose to any popular sweet girl/mean girl dynamic u_u people just love going “AHAH! Gotcha!!! You thought you were a good person but you’re fucking terrible!!!”