#you wanted a jewish character trust that i will not let you down

[arachnidiots]

jake johnson

moshe is the son of esther, one of the five members of the book clubbing club. peter met esther when he routinely helped her with her errands and eventually she introduced him to the rest of the book clubbing club, which is at its core a collection of elderly jewish women who love to meet up and chat. they still read, on occasion, but mostly it’s a social thing now. peter meets moshe when he’s invited to esther’s birthday dinner.

moshe is the middle child of three, with one older brother and one younger sister. his brother is the only one of them that’s married, and he’s an uncle to four. he currently works as an events planner for a hotel. he’s on occasion gotten peter a quick gig at the hotel and elsewhere through people he knows in the city needing a hand. it’s good quick cash. he thinks peter’s a good kid, albeit a little weird, and is not at all surprised by the fact that his mom enjoys his company.

send me a fc and i’ll think of a character on the spot.

[doberbutts]

Thank you for making the schindler post, it perfectly illustrates why I hate the way people will act like people who hurt others (like active nazis and racists) aren't capable of regular emotion and thought. Second chances are often seen as bad when it comes to violence and crime, but if you never give someone the chance to change, form different opinions, or see the damage they or their associates have caused, they'll just keep taking the path of least resistance, keep following orders. I just want people to take a serious look at a nazi who changed his mind. There is nothing inherently evil about anyone, there are only moral and immoral choices.

It helps, I think, to understand that he did not join the nazi party because he hated Jews. Even what research I did on the real man said that for the most part his reasons for siding with Hitler were purely economical. And, as I've said before, Hitler did not start with "I hate Jews let's kill them all" but with "look how bad the economy sucks! And who is doing well while the economy sucks? The Jews. That means they're the ones behind making the economy suck!" to get people on his side.

I think Schindler did have some internalized antisemitism. How could he not? He thought of the plan to use almost exclusively Jewish slave labor as good business sense. Cheaper than Poles, more desperate for the work and thus less likely to complain about conditions or quit, can't fuss about wanting wages or better hours, what's not to like? Supposedly his workers were treated well. I don't know if that makes it particularly better. I wonder how his workers felt, staring at the emblem proudly pinned to his jacket, knowing it stood for the extermination of their entire people.

I wonder if any of them ever considered it might be a trick. An elaborate long game to get them to trust and slip up. To get them to reveal the hiding places and secret messages and the others striving to find or make a way out.

I think the movie played with that concept a little bit, when the character of Stern (who apparently was 3 different real guys rolled into 1) is portrayed as always being a little standoffish and cold to Schindler until close to the very end. He was afraid of him. Schindler held not only his life but the lives of all of the people working there (plus more, irl) in his hands. He rubbed shoulders with high ranked officials and knew personally more than one known sadistic bastard that actively got off on murdering Jews. All it would take is a single word and it would be more than just those in the factory who died.

But then the ghetto was cleansed. In history, Schindler had advance warning and made his workers lock themselves in the factory overnight to spare them. In the movie, Schindler did not have warning, and saw the chaos from atop a vantage point as he'd meant to pass by.

Either way, both in life and in film, that was the line. He was, at minimum, willfully blind and passive to the evidence of what was happening up to that point. Once he couldn't deny it, he put his foot down and said, no more. I'm not doing this. I can't save everybody but you aren't getting your hands on anyone in my charge. Put me in jail if you have to. This is wrong.

He had everything to gain by continuing to look away. In the movie, Stern says something to the tune of "you'll have to hire Hungarians and Poles. They cost a little more but you'll still be rich" when they're both faced with Hitler's final solution. No more cheap Jewish labor when they're all dead, after all. It is at that point that they come up with the list- to get as many Jews as possible out of Germany before they're all sent to their deaths. He could have just said "yeah, sorry. I tried". Stern even more or less gave him permission to do so, like he was expecting it.

But he didn't. He said no fuck that, it's bullshit. It's not happening. I'm not letting it happen. They can arrest me or kill me if they want but if I'm alive for it I'm not just going to stand back and watch.

But I think it is difficult for people to grapple with that level of complexity. Not everyone he saved thinks he was overall a good person. His motives were not always pure. In fact many times his motives were just about lining his own pockets. But when he saw atrocities happen, he put his foot down and refused to participate. Even at his own cost- he had the equivalent amount of money back then as would be needed to retire early nowadays from his factory labor. He spent it on bribes and rations to keep them safe. He went to jail several times for refusing to back down. He risked his own neck by networking with other factory owners to get them to do the same. He could have been executed for this at any point. Nazis loved public spectacle executions for traitors and for collusion with Jews.

He wasn't a perfect ally. But I think I'd rather an imperfect ally do whatever they can to help, than no allies at all.

[pluckyredhead]

Character Profile: Eddie Bloomberg (Kid Devil/Red Devil)

Some of you could probably see this one coming. I have an Eddie fic ready to share with you very soon, but for those of you who have no idea who I’m talking about, I figured I should fill you in. So here he is! The sweetest little devil in the DCU!

Eddie Bloomberg debuted in the 1984 Blue Devil series. Blue Devil is Dan Cassidy, a Hollywood stuntman/special effects artist who was cursed by a demon and trapped in a devil costume forever. If he had been a Marvel character, he would be hated and feared etc, but since he lives in the DCU, it literally has no effect on his movie career. I love the DCU.

The producer of the movie Dan is making when he’s cursed is Marla Bloom (real name: Marlene Bloomberg), a somewhat manic but fiercely loyal visionary. Her nephew, Eddie, is a gofer on set and in fact is only known as “Gopher” for quite a few issues of Blue Devil before anyone uses his actual name. Eddie is teeny tiny in this series - logically he’s probably no younger than 12, since he’s allowed to actually have a job on set, but the writing and art, especially his little OshKosh B’gosh green overalls, make him seem younger, more in the 8-10 range.

(Note: It is never explicitly stated that Eddie and Marla are Jewish, but their last name, and Marla changing her name upon arriving in Hollywood, are such obvious clues that I wouldn’t even consider it coding or subtext. It might be missed by people who aren’t familiar with Jewish names or the long history of Jewish people changing said names to make it in Hollywood - which, trust me, is as antisemitic as anywhere else - but they are Jewish. This will have some HIGHLY PROBLEMATIC IMPLICATIONS further down the line, but we’ll get there.)

Eddie’s hero worship of Dan leads him to make his own costume, plus a “trident” (Dan has one too and that’s what they both call it, but you guys, you are devils, not mermen. They’re pitchforks.) that he uses to fly, which, UM??? Eddie is apparently a genius and no one ever comments on it?

Eddie is probably best known these days in fandom for his extremely brief (it’s a four page story) friendship with Jason Todd in his Robin days. They are PEN PALS and they team up to catch a jewel thief and it’s so damn cute:

But not too long after this, Blue Devil was canceled, and Eddie faded into obscurity. That is, until he showed up on the Teen Titans 20 years later, looking like this:

Eddie is now 17, and the intervening years have been extraordinarily shitty for him.

First, his Aunt Marla was like “Hey, I talked your parents into letting you stay with me indefinitely, because I love you!” and it took him years to realize that actually, his parents had suggested he stay in Hollywood because they didn’t want him.

Then Marla died in a freak helicopter crash, because some safety lights that should have been on were out. Eddie struggled to keep a job after that, since he’s not actually very good at being a gopher/PA. (Why he was allowed to live on his own/work/not go to school as a minor is not explained.)

He decided to focus on being a superhero, but no one wants a kid in a devil suit with no powers, so that didn’t go so hot either. Eventually he got his chance when a mysterious hooded stranger gave him a black candle, which...Eddie, no. Lighting the candle took him to Neron, who is one of the DCU’s several versions of the devil, specifically the one who makes Faustian bargains with characters.

Neron asked Eddie who he trusted the most in the world, and Eddie said Blue Devil. Neron offered Eddie a deal: he would give Eddie powers, and in exchange, if Eddie ever lost his trust in Blue Devil, his soul would belong to Neron on his 20th birthday. Eddie, thinking nothing could shake his faith in his hero, agreed.

And then Neron told him that Blue Devil killed Marla.

This was in fact completely true. Years ago, Dan had made a deal with Neron: fame in exchange for destroying a power station in the middle of nowhere. Dan, assuming no one would be hurt, agreed. The power station being down was the reason the warning lights were out during Marla’s helicopter crash. Dan never told anyone the truth about her death.

Eddie refuses to believe him, because after all, Neron is a demon and demons lie. He goes on to finally join the Teen Titans as the happy go lucky comic relief/loser. But it weighs on him, and finally he confronts Dan:

Eddie realizes to his horror that his soul is now forfeit to Neron on his 20th birthday, which is less than three years away. But he doesn’t want anyone to pity him, and he doesn’t want to spend the next three years being miserable, so he doesn’t tell anyone (except his friend Zachary Zatara, who was there when he met Neron), and continues to be the sweet, seemingly happy-go-lucky comic relief of the 2000s-era Titans. EDDIE MY DARLING. 😭

I do want to pause here to talk about the implications of Eddie’s transformation. Like I said earlier, Eddie is Jewish. Even if that’s never confirmed in the comics, even if he isn’t religious (we have no evidence one way or the other), Eddie is at the very least ethnically Jewish on his father’s side. This is the extremely clear intent of his (also Jewish) creators.

Jewish people having horns, and just generally being associated with devils, is a very, very old stereotype dating back to the Middle Ages. It was used in Nazi propaganda. I’m a millennial, and I know Jewish people my age who have been asked where their horns are. It is a living stereotype, and an incredibly dangerous one.

I am...let’s say 90% sure that giving a Jewish character horns was a genuine mistake? Maybe Geoff Johns, who wrote that storyline, didn’t realize that “Bloomberg” was a Jewish last name. Maybe he wasn’t familiar with the stereotype. But I can rattle off a whole list of shockingly racist things that man has written by (maybe) accident, and he was one of the people Ray Fisher called out for racism during the filming of Justice League, so...who knows. I love Eddie, I love the devil version of him, but I also don’t trust Geoff Johns an inch, and am generally very uncomfortable with the implications of this particular transformation. (Also, like...cramming a Jewish character into Christian mythology like this is still pretty gross. Jews don’t believe in Hell.)

Eddie has a lengthy tenure on the Titans, from the mid-2000s almost all the way to the New 52. Like I said before, he’s largely comic relief/the “loser” team member who thinks no one likes him (and some characters are pretty relentlessly contemptuous of him, particularly Cassie and Tim during their era of being written horribly OOC at all times). He’s also incredibly self-sacrificing - at one point a villain tries to kill him but accidentally absorbs his curse instead, and Eddie insists on taking it back, because he can’t let anyone suffer in his place, even a rando who tried to murder him for no reason. EDDIE MY LOVE.

And he does have friends! Aside from his friendship with Zachary Zatara (who isn’t really on the team), he’s particularly close with Miss Martian and Blue Beetle.

And then there’s Rose Wilson, Ravager. She joins the team right around the same time Eddie does, and he very obviously has a massive crush on her. Rose equally obviously does not really know how to relate to people in an honest and healthy way, so she veers wildly between flirting with Eddie, being scathingly cruel to him, opening up to him in a way she doesn’t with anyone else, and going feral to protect him.

Also, this happens:

I have never recovered.

Eddie eventually loses his powers when he’s bitten by Brother Blood, because sure, why not? A trip to Hell confirms that not only is he free of his obligation to Neron, but he never actually signed a contract in the first place - Neron simply activated Eddie’s latent metagene, which...turned him into a demon for reasons but can be mystically deactivated, apparently? Look, there’s no time to make sense, Eddie has a noble sacrifice to get to!

Eddie is happy to be free of Hell, obviously, but he’s now stuck being support staff for the Titans, since he doesn’t have any powers. Rose, who had left the team a while back, returns and tries to get Eddie to leave with her, since it’s dangerous to be powerless around superheroes. He turns her down. EDDIE, NO.

Literally the next issue, a riot breaks out on Alcatraz, which is a supervillain prison in the DCU. While the Titans are fighting the supervillains, Eddie is tricked by the Calculator into flying out to the island in the T-Jet to try to find a nuke. When he discovers that the nuke is just a man with radioactive powers who is melting down and minutes from exploding, he gets the man into the T-Jet and flies it as high as possible before the explosion, saving the Titans, Alcatraz, and San Francisco.

😭😭😭

Eddie stayed dead for the next year or so, and then the New 52 happened. He appeared in one issue as Blue Devil’s godson in the New 52; then returned for one more issue with his powers intact in Rebirth.

And then he died at Sanctuary in Heroes in Crisis, because apparently if you’re a redheaded friend of Jason Todd with a penchant for backwards baseball caps, you’re gonna die in HiC.

We haven’t seen Eddie since, so it’s anyone’s guess whether he was brought back to life by Infinite Frontier or not. I choose to believe he was, because I love him and I say so.

If you want to read about Eddie, your best bet is the 2003 Teen Titans series. It’s, like...pretty bad, but it’s also the lion’s share of Eddie’s appearances, and he’s extremely lovable. If you’re looking for fic, I'm mostly familiar with stories where he appears as Jason’s bestie. Eddie Fucking Bloomberg by chucklesbuckles makes me laugh every time I read it. Eddie also has small but delightful roles in the longer JayRoy fics i wish i was by @shhhenanigans​ and gentle on my mind (the actual world) by @hamjay​. And Burning my defenses by the shaking of her hips is some excellent Rose/Eddie by @macabrekawaii​.

(Also, I have a fic about him coming next week! Stay tuned!)

In conclusion: don’t cry. Baby Eddie in Tiny Titans, okay?

[angedemystere]

You know what’s the most tragic part of Judas storyline on The Chosen? Part of Judas always felt like he didn't belong in the group, and he was kinda right. Jesus had high hopes for all his apostles except Judas.

Watch out, I got a long reply to this!

I don't feel that so much about Judas in season 3. It would've been nice to see him getting close to a couple of the disciples, like we see with John and Thomas. Even so, he was involved with the group from the start. It's more in season 4 I can see how he doesn't seem to be as "in tune" with the group.

But here's something to keep in mind: this idea that Jesus had "high hopes" for everyone except Judas may be something we, the audience who knows the story, are projecting.

In terms of being supported or elevated, sure, Simon Peter and John have had special attention, but I'm pretty sure Judas has had as many one-on-one onscreen moments with Jesus as most of the disciples. And ALL the disciples struggle on some level with Jesus's mission and identity. That's a huge part of the story that's not unique to Judas.

What I see the show doing is showing how, yes, Jesus is not holding Judas's hand through every moment whenever Judas wants to improve the ministry through fiscal strategy. But Judas is also failing to internalize the things Jesus has said point blank. He tells Judas to think back to the Sermon on the Mount. Judas doesn't follow up on this; instead he goes to Hadad, his former mentor, for advice. Yes, Judas is a tragic and very relatable figure.

But let's not pretend Jesus is orchestrating Judas's downfall or letting it happen through neglect. He's given Judas many opportunities to better understand the mission, as have other disciples (Simon Z, John). Judas is getting in his own way to that understanding. He keeps defaulting to what he thinks he knows and how things should be done and is frustrated when his input is exposed as faulty.

Judas keeps thinking in worldly terms - and that makes sense. Most of us think in worldly terms. Christians often think in worldly terms without realizing it. That's why we have to keep going back to prayer, to Scripture, and putting aside how we would do things to focus on how God wants us to do things.

The very first experience Judas had as a disciple of Jesus was the two-by-two mission where they did not take anything, ANYTHING, with them. This approach taught them to fully trust in God's provision, and they continued to do that when they reunited. Judas doesn't fully internalize the lesson, or he finds God's degree of provision unsatisfying when he keeps thinking about bringing about an earthly kingdom with Jesus on an earthly throne.

And this attitude is not singular to Judas - many Jews at that time thought the Messiah would drive out the Romans and establish a new Jewish kingdom on earth. John and Big James believe this, too - that's why they ask Jesus to sit "at your right and left hand." And what happens? Jesus is pissed. He's angry and frustrated and heartbroken because they think he's come to be an earthly king, not the kingdom of Heaven, despite everything he's been teaching them.

It just so happens that Judas isn't willing to revise that belief in the face of all the ways Jesus is renouncing that vision of the Messiah. The fact Judas still believes Jesus is the Messiah at this point is quite amazing.

I feel for Judas in his struggle and see how his character flaws are pushing him in a dangerous direction. As for Jesus, I think he shows his love for Judas in the show, even if he's not sitting Judas down for lengthy heart-to-heart chats.

[floral-force]

Apples & Honey - Oneshot

din djarin x gn!reader, jewish!reader (no y/n)

summary: A hired mechanic developing feelings for the Mandalorian finds themselves missing the culture that surrounded them before they started their journey. The stoic bounty hunter asks them to tell him about it, his own feelings starting to grow as well.

warnings: none, but my blog and work is 18+ only. no minors. notes: this one is all about a jewish holiday, Rosh Hashanah. even if you aren't jewish, I encourage you to read--I tried to weave education into this as well as I could. I just wanted to share my favorite holiday with all of you! enjoy! thank you to the mods of @starwarscultureweek, this is a few days late for day 3 and day 5, but submitting anyways. read on ao3 | fic masterlist

You didn’t know much about the Mandalorian that had hired you to work on his ship. He was quiet and kept to himself, usually preferring to stay in the cockpit throughout your travels and only coming down to the hull to use the privy. Your partnership was still new; you’d only been working for him for around 30 standard days, give or take—you’d lost track. You knew he’d open up more as time went on, as would you. Peli had warned you about his indifference towards conversation, so you’d expected his brief remarks to you and the lack of meaningful conversation.

You hadn’t expected to feel your heart flutter when his boots tapped down the metal ladder, or to savor every interaction with him, etching his voice into your brain. It dripped into your ears like honey and seeped into your veins, even if it was modulated through the helmet he wore. Sometimes, when he walked past you, you’d get a whiff of his scent—musk, leather, sweat—and it was a strange comfort. You’d come to enjoy his tough exterior, for you knew deep in your heart that underneath the unbreakable beskar was a tender man with a sense of duty and honor.

The little green child in his care brought out this tenderness. A new duty had been added to your job within the last few rotations: caring for the big-eared baby named Grogu. It flattered you that he trusted you enough to care for and watch over Grogu while he was away from the ship; anyone could see how protective the Mandalorian was. Even through brief, stolen glances, you could see the way he held the child with a fondness only a father could possess. This careful nature and fierce protectiveness fanned the flames of your growing affection towards the mysterious man.

You were hoping that your suspicions about his character underneath the tough exterior were right as you sat on the Crest’s ramp, a scenic meadow in front of you. You tried to relax your body and mind, extending your legs and leaning back with hands planted behind you, eyes closed to feel the sun penetrate every pore. Though the afternoon rays warmed your skin and brightened the tall green grass and its random bursts of flowers, it couldn’t warm your heavy heart. 

Earlier, all three of you had taken a trip to the market. It was rare, but after you mentioned your curiosity about the planets you traveled to during his hunts in passing, the Mandalorian dropped out of hyperspace and landed on this random, idyllic, Mid-Rim planet. You hadn’t expected him to listen to you, let alone fulfill your wish. As you’d walked through the market, your heart had felt light and excited about the potential of growing your relationship with him beyond stiff exchanges and brief interactions.

Your heart froze over when you saw the date on a calendar in a random bakery Grogu forced his armored guardian to stop in. Mando had noticed the slight change in your demeanor, asking if you were alright, and you forced a smile and nodded. The rest of the excursion was a blur, muddied by the date. You’d been so busy since joining the Mandalorian that you’d never stopped and thought to ask about something so simple. And now, sitting alone in the sun, you let it sink in.

“You going to use those?”

You jumped, sitting up straight and twisting around to see the Mandalorian standing at the top of the ramp, a finger pointing at the forgotten tools by your side. You’d meant to repair something incredibly minor just to take your mind off things, but you hadn’t been able to focus enough, the task only making things worse.

“Oh, um…no,” you stumbled over your words. “At least, uh, not yet.”

“I thought you were fixing something underneath the hull.”

Kriff, you’d forgotten about mentioning that to him. You bit your bottom lip and turned yourself back to face the meadow. “I couldn’t figure it out.”

There was silence, only the leaves of a nearby tree rustling with a gentle gust of wind. 

You felt your heart skip a beat when he said your name, and then the Mandalorian cleared his throat. “What’s really going on?”

The sound of his boots grew closer until he was standing, then sitting next to you on your right. His legs were bent, and he was casually resting his arms on his knees. You felt hot under his gaze as if you were a quarry he wanted to interrogate.

“It’s nothing.”

“You’re a horrible liar,” he said, the ghost of amusement under his words. “Tell me.”

You sighed and crossed your legs, fingers mindlessly toying with the fabric of your pants. “I saw the date on the calendar in that bakery we visited, and I realized it’s a holiday.”

“It is?”

“In my culture, yes.” You dropped your eyes from the bright grass and stared instead at your feet. “It’s Rosh HaShanah.”

You heard a modulated hum. “What’s that? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it.”

Your head snapped up to turn and stare at his helmet incredulously. “Really? You’ve been everywhere, and you haven’t heard of it?” When he shook his head, you raised your eyebrows and gently smiled. “Interesting.”

“So,” one of the Mandalorian’s gloved hands waved you to continue as he spoke. “Tell me about it.”

“Well—ok,” you grinned. “I’m Jewish, and my people celebrate Rosh HaShanah, the Jewish New Year. I guess you’ve never heard about it since we aren’t a very large or common people.” 

As you’d been talking, your gaze had drifted back out to the meadow, so you turned to look back to the Mandalorian, making sure he was still listening. When you saw that he was, and that he was waiting for you to continue, you carried on.

“Rosh HaShanah in our language literally translates to ‘head of the year,’ and it’s part of the Yamim Nora’im—the Days of Awe, or High Holidays. It lasts two days, and religious Jews will spend almost all day in synagogue, reading prayers.” You gasp and turn to him. “And the shofar! It’s blown during religious services. It serves as a call to repentance since the days ahead are centered around atoning for sins and wrongdoing, called teshuvah.”

He nods and turns his body towards you, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his thighs. “Is it just prayer?”

You shake your head. “There’s also festive meals and foods. On the first night, it’s customary to dip apples and round challah—a sweet bread—in honey to symbolize our wish for a sweet new year. Ashkenazi Jews, like my family, also make tzimmes, a dish of sweet carrots to symbolize a wish for a year of abundance.” 

You smiled at the memory of helping prepare tzimmes, the memory of the sweet aroma of brown sugar and carrots tickling your heart and melting it. The honey you’d dipped your apples in years ago was golden and sweet, and now you had a sound—a voice—to match that delicious taste. 

“Sephardic Jews have a special seder—a ceremonial dinner—with specific foods that each get their own blessing, like leeks and dates.” You chuckle. “Food is very important in my culture.”

“It does sound very nice.” The compliment sent heat to your cheeks, making you feel better about being vulnerable about something so precious to you. “Thank you for telling me about it.”

“Thank you for letting me,” you say, feeling your eyes tear up. You looked long across the meadow and watched the tree sway. “I remember sitting in synagogue as a kid and wishing I was better at speaking our language—Hebrew. I don’t remember much now, but I’m glad I know a bit and can remember some prayers, even if the religious aspect of being Jewish isn’t as important to me now.” 

“Mando’a is the language of my people. I don’t know much either, but as Foundlings, they try to teach us what they know.” He paused, sighing. “It connects us to our planet, even if it is cursed.”

“I understand that.” You smile longingly. “It’s a joy to be Jewish. We’re not a large people, but we have such rich traditions and practices tied to both our religious and our ethnic identity. Being Jewish isn’t only about being religious—plenty of Jews are secular. What binds us is our traditions, our language, and our perseverance.”

The Mandalorian’s beskar helmet glinting in the sun caught your eye, and you looked at him. “It reminds me of my people. We’re scattered like stars in the galaxy, but we survive. It’s something I and other Mandalorians take pride in.” He nodded at you. “The Jewish people should as well.”

Despite the helmet, you felt so comfortable and seen under his gaze. The smile on your face widened, beaming hope and joy at him. Though you had chosen to leave your home world behind in search of adventure across the stars, you missed the Jewish community you’d grown up around. You’d never had to explain such an important holiday before—nobody had ever asked throughout your journeys. The first person to ask was the stoic Mandalorian in front of you, and you felt more connected to him in this moment than you ever had before. 

Here are two people, you thought, who carry the long and ancient histories of their people on their backs, seeing each other clearly like nobody else ever could—ever would.

The warm connection took root in your chest and grew, and you wished you could hold it out for him to touch and see and admire. 

You turned back to your grassy view, brow furrowed in thought. “Mando?”

“Hm?”

“Is there water around here?”

“I saw a river not too far from here. It’s a short walk,” he remarked. “Why?”

“There’s this other ceremony done on the first afternoon of Rosh HaShanah, and I think you might like it.” You look at him again, a gentle smile back on your lips.

You barely noticed his helmet tilt to the side in curiosity. “What is it?”

“You go to a body of water and perform the tashlich ceremony. You toss breadcrumbs or pebbles into the water, symbolically casting off your sins from the past year.”

“I’d like to try it, if you’ll let me,” he said, his honey-soaked voice dripping into your heart.

“I don’t remember the prayer, but we can do it,” you smiled.

He stood up with a grunt, offering a gloved hand to help you to your feet. It was a gesture he’d never extended to you before, and the sweetness of it melted your heart. Even now, he stood only a foot away from you, his beskar shining in the sun. Incredibly close, but still far away. Maybe, though, you were slowly closing the distance. The Mandalorian was truly showing his tenderness now with you, and you felt a sense of pride knowing that he had started to extend that softness out to you. It was a warm hug in a moment of sorrow, a moment of grief.

You wished that this year, he would hug you more and hold you closer, and that the honey secretly dripping from his lips would continue to bless you with its hidden sweetness.

“And, Mando?” You smiled. “Shanah tovah. Happy new year.”

“Shanah tovah,” he replied, making sure to say it slowly to copy your pronunciation. His effort made you grin, and he wished you could see the smile decorating his face.

if you want to learn more about jewish practices, traditions, and culture, I recommend checking out this page on chabad.org. educate yourself on antisemitism here and by listening to jews and what we have to say. chag pesach sameach and shalom to my fellow jews <3

Pronunciation:

ROHSH hah-shah-NAH

yah-MEEM nohr-ah-EEM

TSHOO-vuh or te-SHOO-vah

TZIH-miss

SAY-der

TAHSH-lich

shah-NAH toe-VAH

taglist: @charlottetownwaffles @theamuz @jellybeanstacey0519 @elinedjarin @maddiedrmr @kaqua @tortor-mcgee @tizylish @graciexmarvel @dheet @kalea-bane @mymindfuckery @spxctorsslut @hardlystrictlystarwars

[skarabrae-stone]

Okay, here we go. Thanks to @burberrycanary for the tag!

Rules: Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass this onto other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Not a Perfect Soldier -- 93k | M | Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers | MCU

Summary: In a world where HYDRA was wiped out in the '40s, Steve is found by the Army rather than SHIELD. General Thaddeus Ross wants a perfectly obedient super-soldier at his command, and to that end, he sets out to break Steve to his will. As Steve struggles to come to terms with all he has lost, his life in captivity is only made bearable by the presence of another prisoner-- another super-soldier known only as "Soldat". Then the Avengers strike a deal with Ross to "borrow" him for missions, and Steve is faced with a team who dislikes him, an organization he doesn't trust, and the question of what he's willing to do to escape Ross's clutches. This is probably still my favorite of the fics I've written, as it included a lot of themes/tropes that I enjoy reading as well as writing. It was a really interesting challenge to handle Steve and Bucky's separate traumas, and the various misunderstandings between Steve and the Avengers. This was also my first time writing Jewish Bucky in a way that really focused on that aspect of his identity, and I'm really grateful to siyuttov for their help in making that part of the story more accurate. I'm also really proud of the fact that I wrote a novel-length fic!

You Can Touch -- 3k | E | Bucky Barnes/Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers | MCU

Summary: She opens the door almost as soon as he knocks, ushering him inside before he can say anything. Her hair is partway down, her jacket and tie folded neatly over the back of a chair. She was getting ready for bed, he supposes, or at least planning to stay in for the night. Steve is in a meeting. Bucky goes to visit Peggy. There are three fics in this series, but this one has a special place in my heart. This was my first fic where I really tried to get explicit, and it was also different from my usual Steve/Bucky-focused fics in that most of the fic is just Bucky/Peggy (Steve comes in at the end). I really loved writing the developing intimacy between Bucky and Peggy, and there's always something fascinating to me about characters choosing to be vulnerable with each other, and taking care of each other/allowing themselves to be taken care of.

The Kind You Save -- 37k | M | Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson | MCU

Summary: When HYDRA sends the Winter Soldiers to assassinate the new Captain America, they expect the mission to be an easy one. After all, they're super-soldiers-- how hard can it be to kill one unenhanced human? As more and more of their attempts prove unsuccessful, however, the Soldiers' respect for Wilson grows, as does their suspicion that HYDRA's motives are not what they seem. If Sam Wilson is a good man, what does that make them…? I really love playing with the concept of Steve as the Winter Soldier. I also love Sam Wilson as Captain America. So Steve and Bucky as Winter Soldiers who first attempt to assassinate Sam, then start to fall for him as they realize what a good person he is, was great fun for me! It was really interesting to figure out what Steve's personality as the Winter Soldier might be like, and how his and Bucky's dynamic might work if they were both brainwashed. And it was great getting to write Sam as the hero he is!

Brave Soldier Boy (Comes Marching Home) -- 2k | G | Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers | MCU

Summary: Ten years after losing her son in the war, Winnifred Barnes receives an unexpected visitor. The Winter Soldier needs her help with an important mission. This story is from the point of view of Winnifred Barnes, which I really enjoyed writing! Mothers in the MCU tend to be dead if they're mentioned at all, and I really enjoyed giving Winnifred (and the rest of Bucky's family) a chance to shine. Several people told me they were nervous to read this because of the title, but it has a happy ending!

Let Me Touch You for Awhile -- 2k | T | Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers | MCU

As Bucky heals from his experiences as the Winter Soldier, he begins to remember some of the things he's been missing out on-- specifically, the fact that Steve and Bucky used to be comfortable touching each other, whether it was an arm around the shoulders or a hug goodbye. But Steve in the present day seems determined to give Bucky space... much more space than Bucky wants. Can Bucky work up the courage to ask for the physical intimacy he craves? Set after an Infinity War that ended differently, with the Avengers and co. defeating Thanos before he had the chance to Snap. I'm a huge fan of touch-starved Bucky, but I'd never written a fic that just focuses on that, so I really enjoyed writing this! This is also a bit of a fix-it with everyone surviving Infinity War (and no Endgame), and I liked getting the chance to write a cameo of Natasha and Yelena's relationship.

@elvenfforestydd, @h-i-raeth, @16woodsequ, @lycorogue, @xemiliagryphonx, @planeoftheeclectic, @bifuriouswaterbender and anyone else who'd like to join in, please play if you want to!

[thelediz]

Sonic Underground episode 32: Haircraft in Space

I’m watching Sonic Underground in search of inspiration to finish a fic I’ve been writing forever. It’s a sad state of affairs. See the recap of the first three episodes here, if you're interested!

The plot (for want of a better word): A robotic hairdresser trusted by all the aristocrats in Mobius has been passing secrets to Robotnik! WhoEVER could have seen this coming? Can Sonia override her new friend’s programming and keep Mobius safe?

Yeah, as you can guess, the whole conceit of this episode annoys me. BUT. There is some GREAT worldbuilding for the aristocrats and Robotnik this episode, so let’s go for some good vibes. Please relax with your drink of choice and the understanding that I am rolling my eyes at whoever decided Sonia shouldn’t blink at the whole ROBOT thing, and let’s get our world building hats on!

We are introduced to the Character of the Day, with Sleet and Dingo hovering in the background to tell you from the start that she’s on the wrong side. It’s a robotic hairdresser (I Will Not refer to said robot by her actual name it is Too Stupid) with a very strong New York Jewish accent (because again: stereotypes) (on second thought, does this need a content warning? I don't think it was an intentional antisemitic thing, but... um. Reader beware if it is.) who is apparently an absolute wonder and all the aristocrats love her.

She is also a hypnotic spy who brainwashes her clients into giving up anti-Robotnik secrets.

WHICH -flails- SUCH LEGIT. I hate the conceit of this episode, but a service worker or entertainer used as a spy to infiltrate and identify high society anti-establishment or resistance fighters…! This is horrifyingly true to life and why social media and pop culture is so tightly controlled in some areas of the world and I. Love. This. Plot.

It's just the fact this character is a ROBOT that I object to. There are no sentient robots in Mobius that aren’t on Robotnik’s side in this series. So it’s DUMB for anyone to trust her.

Unless that’s a commentary on the arrogance of the higher classes that I am totally here for except that makes Sonia so incredibly problematic and

I am a problem.

There is something immensely uncomfy about the scene where Sleet and Dingo get the data out of the hairdresser. It’s played… well. There are parallels one could draw. And her data is kept in her chest plate. And they lift up their chest to do it. And… yeah, it’s uncomfy, and I don’t like it.

Sonia is getting frustrated with her Resistance life, trying to put her hair in curlers, and the boys are being loud, obnoxious, and gross, and she loses her patience and storms out. And while I can’t relate to her decision to go to a beauty salon to destress, I go encourage everyone to occasionally remove themselves from stressful situations and recentre with things they enjoy.

But you know. Still. She gets brainwashed into giving up all the secrets of course, while we get a recording of the bad guys listening to Bartleby vent and it is kinda funny when he points out the “Excellent” is the only superlative Robotnik knows. Robotnik spends the rest of the episode tripping over the word.

I enjoy Bartleby more than I should.

Sleet and Dingo go back to the salon just as Sonia is finishing up, and a fight of course breaks out. Sonia has good gymnastic skills but not any particular power in this scene, making it an example of why I draw attention to the times she supposedly IS super strong. The point is, while she’s fighting everyone off, the hairdresser escapes.

Sleet and Dingo put out an alert to the legitimate citizens about the hairdresser, and Bartleby warns Sonia not only about the alert, but also explains his theory that Robotnik has been using the hairdresser to spy. Bartleby, you brilliant idiot, working out the whole plot on your own!

Sonia realises she told the hairdresser too much, and that they need to track the robot down. But she does not explain to her brothers how SHE screwed up, so Sonic and Manic take the low road and say “sucks to be an aristocrat right now!” which is… not cool, boys. They’re still your people, arrogant bastards or no.

Divine right NONSENSE matzerfratzin

Manic tries to twist it as being fitting punishment for gossip, but… no. Just… just no. But oh well –

The song: Don’t be a Backstabber. We’re back to the early 90s rock, some jokes about Sonic not being good at rap (to be fair, he isn’t great at it), and it’s all about not being two-faced, which I would normally strongly encourage and support and so I can’t dislike this song, BUT

I cannot get past the fact that they would apparently rather the aristocrats be loyal to Robotnik than let them bitch about him behind closed doors and…

-WILD FLAILING-

ENCOURAGE THE BITCHING, YOU IDIOTS. FROM BITCHING COMES RESENTMENT COMES REBELLION COMES POLITICAL MOVEMENTS YOU IDIOTS.

I cannot believe I actually respect Robotnik more than the triplets this episode. I feel dirty.

ALSO. Even after the song, Sonia does not tell the boys the truth, so they think she’s crying over the fact Bartleby is in trouble. I am counting this as “Sonia being in love with Bartleby” because the boys think that’s her motivation, even though I actually kind of more think she’s being a self-absorbed bitch in this moment and I Am Not Impressed With You, Sonia.

The point is that the boys agree to help.

And the hairdresser randomly shows up at their door, which is convenient.

The boys make fun of her (further defying their own song) until the hairdresser flirts a little with them. Sonic makes himself scarce while Manic falls for it (again, it’s blink and you’ll miss it, but I’m adding one to Sonic’s counter)… and the brainwashing. So they see it happen in action.

Because they can’t get into her recording tape, the triplets decide to take the hairdresser to Bartleby, who knows a ‘bot expert’. But the boys are furthering their whole hypocritical two-faced natures this episode and secretly conspire to let the hairdresser be taken back to Robotnik.

My patience is thinning, because there is an important message in this episode about honesty and teamwork that is not going to be properly communicated.

Sonic and Manic’s plan works, and the hairdresser is kidnapped. Worse, this happens right outside Bartleby’s estate, so they also see Sleet and Dingo taking Bartleby to see Robotnik. This causes Manic to let slip that they tipped off surveillance about the hairdresser, and THANKFULLY, Sonia confesses that she gave away their secrets as well, so you know, Sonic’s actually motivated now.

I’m sorry, for fic purposes, I absolutely MUST quote Bartleby’s line here. “Don’t worry, all. If there’s one thing you can count on, it’s my Sonia.”

I love this jellyfish so much.

Sonia flawlessly rescues the aristocrats, but the boys run into trouble when trying to retrieve the tape. Luckily, the hairdresser picks up Sleet’s gun and joins the fight, and the three of them escape together. Thereby getting the boys on her side, I guess.

But I do have to roll my eyes at the hairdresser’s line. A gun is NOT just like using a blowdryer.

A glue-gun or charm stapler, which she would use to maintain the medieval hairstyles the aristocrats use, on the other hand…

But I digress. The boys find it funny, so they like her now.

And to keep all the previously arrested aristocrats (including Bartleby) safe, the hairdresser uses her brainwashing powers to make Robotnik, Sleet, and Dingo forget everything about the tape and what they heard on it. We assume this includes the fact that she can be used for spying purposes.

I am sure they will not come up with this plan again and everyone is now safe.

I...

There… are things… that could have been done differently.

They weren’t.

Communication. And being willing to engage across class and skill and cultural divides. These. My whole... #personal. Values. All that stuff.

I Am Annoyed By This Episode.

MOVING ON. COUNTERS!

Sonic implying less than 100% American heterosexuality: 7

Sonia in love with Bartleby: 6/37

Sonia in love with someone who is not Bartleby: 3/37

Sonia’s got super strength: 4

Manic’s thieving Is A Problem: 5

Tomorrow Is Another Day.

[shdwtouch]

What was the first muse that you’ve written? & How do you create an OC? What are your steps for developing an OC?

oh goodness, the first muse I wrote on tumblr was an alternate universe clint barton ! but first muse is general ? I don't remember. but considering I was roleplaying on a forum before I came here... it was most likely some sort of original character ?

I didn't write a lot of canon characters, since threads were usually organized around a central plot or location with multiple people playing one or more character, all of which were usually created specifically for the thread. however, I do remember two relatively clearly. one was some sort of... mutant ? he had been experimented on in a lab alongside a bunch of other kids, which ended up escaping and were basically being hunted as fugitives. the other was a professor at a magic school a la x-men, but he was actually like... secretly undercover investigating the school because there was some shady stuff going down ? I'm sure I could still find them on my account... but oh, the cringe. I did. and yes, it was very cringey. also the first guy was a vampire, not a mutant. all in the distant year of... 2011. I was eleven years old lmao

as for how I create an original character ? it kinda just... happens. at least, in regards to original / fandomless characters. others are a product of the fandom I made them in. Shade was created because I really liked the lore of the shadow-cursed lands and wanted to make a character that was involved in it. my (currently fandomless) original character Kaey started out as an antivan crow oc in drag-n age. my oldest original character, Lorence J Harving, started out as a team fortress 2 oc ! then I have muses like Zhu Dai and Yew, which were inspired by mythology and folklore. Wyn started out as a random picrew design I made ! Indi and Caoimhe were made for roleplay groups that were abandoned. it really just depends on what the inspiration is ! so I don't really have a tried and true method for original character creation. but trust me, if I did I would be bottling and selling it XD not to blow my own vertubenflugen, but I know people have expressed interest and envy towards my creative process... and I genuinely wish I could offer advice other than embrace the process !

as for developing an original character ? again, it kinda depends. with Shade just being able to talk about her to others and see how she interacts with other characters has done wonders for her development ! Zhu Dai was embracing different mythologies, cultures, and religious ideologies. if the muse is there then things will come somewhat naturally, but muse can also be fickle and wishy-washy so. it can definitely take time ! but I honestly believe that some of the best development does happen in the cooperative process that is roleplay. yet, I have other methods. music plays a lot into my muse and development, as does the media and content I consume ! I take inspiration from a lot of different places !

but if we want to talk nitty gritty... I don't know. I tend to walk my developments around quite a bit, feeling them out to make sure they're what I really envision / want for the character. I change my mind a lot, go back and forth on things. and tend to write very cryptic late night notes in my personal Discord server that awake and lucid me must then decipher for optimal impact. uwu; but in general... yeah I have no idea. it happens. sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't. Kaey in particular has been victim to that indecision and, dare I say, overabundance in ideas. lets just say I can't kill my darlings. I cannot. but I also hate recycling ideas, so. make it make sense.

idk but here are my general steps / points I like to hit

character name [ex. shade]

what is their basic story ? [ex. a fugitive assassin doing their best to survive]

appearance [ex. long black hair, gray eyes, short]

cultural heritage / identity [ex. jewish + indian ]

notable features or characteristics [ex. spooky eyes, always wears a hood]

general personality, defined by arc / period in life, i.e. how has this characters personality, habits, etc developed and evolved through their story up to their current point ? (asking questions like why is my character like this now ? etc can help you figure out important points in their history that may have influenced their current state, basically providing a skeleton to work a timeline off of)

asking random questions. whats their favorite ice cream ? do they listen to podcasts, if so what kind ? do they celebrate holidays ? etc. (knowing basic details can help you paint a better understanding of your muse, and help you find their voice, especially in terms of decision making !)

important relationships, whether they be past or present, or even the optimal / wishlist relationships you would want to explore. (this can really help set a foundation for creating meaningful dynamics through roleplay !)

what does your character want ? what is their goal ? what is their optimal ending ? is their optimal ending what they want / expect ? if the character doesn't have a perceivable ending then consider how this journey impacts them ! do they have a turning point ? etc

alternate universes. ask all the "what ifs" you can think of, silly or not ! (even if you don't use these for rp, they can help you find your characters voice !)

turn them around and around in your head until you are either obsessed with them or sick / frustrated. if you are obsessed then you have succeeded in making an original character, congrats ! if you are sick / frustrated take a step back and come back to it later; go through the steps again, rework things as needed, but if you still end up frustrated... keep the things you like the most, discard anything that makes you go eh or nah, take a step back, then return with inspiration !

hope that helps ! ; w ;

EDIT: I have had a very long day so I don't know why I thought answering this now would be a good idea owo; but I just want to say... the gist of my approach to writing any character is this: we are all a tapestry of what we have experienced, the people we have met, etc and a good, dynamic character will reflect that. humans are also flawed and full of contradictions, so don't be afraid to embrace those !

but yeah. if you're ever stuck developing a character, figure out what about them ticks, then find out why it ticks. your character is really gruff, certainly they weren't born that way. did they have a rough home life ? were they in the military ? did they get their heart broken, did they watch a loved one die ? how has that impacted other aspects of their life and story ? have other traits / experiences interacted with this gruffness ? is this gruffness a product of an interaction between traits / experiences ? are they aware they are gruff ? do they care ? do they secretly wish like they could be less gruff ? do they need to be gruff ? what would it look like if they weren't ? I could literally go on and on listing questions that could lead to a thousand different tangents. point being: cause and effect. explore it. your character is a product of what they have been through, of their world. embrace it.

[writingwithcolor]

I'm writing an AU of a movie that takes place in the 1880s USA, where a travelling white character and a Jewish character are waylaid by Native Americans, who they befriend. Probably because it was written by and about PoC (Jews) the scene actually avoids the stuff on your Native American Masterpost, but I'd still like to do better than a movie made in the 1980's, and I feel weird cutting them from the plot entirely. I have a Jewish woman reading it for that, but are there any things you (1/1)

2/2 1880s western movie ask--are there things you'd LIKE to see in a movie where a white man and a Jewish man run into Native Americans in the 1880s? I do plan to base them on a real tribe (Ute, probably) and have proper housing/clothes and so forth, but right now I'm just trying to avoid or subvert awful cowboy movie tropes. Any ideas?

White and Jewish Men, Native American interactions in 1880s

I am vaguely concerned with how you only cite one of our posts about Native Americans, that was not written by a Native person, and do not cite any of the posts relating to this time period, or any posts relating to representation in media. 

Sidenote: if you want us to give accurate reflections of the media you’re discussing, please tell us the NAME. I cannot go look up this movie based off this description to give you an idea of what my issues are with this scene, and must instead trust that the representation is good based off your judgement. I cannot make my own judgement. This is a problem. Especially since your whole question boils down to “this scene is good but not great and I want it to be great. How can I do that?”

Your baseline for “good” could very well be my baseline for “terrible hack job”. I can’t give you the proper education required for you to be able to accurately evaluate the media you’re watching for racist stereotypes if you don’t tell me what you’re even working with.

When you’re writing fanfic where the media is directly relevant to the question, please tell us the name of the media. We will not judge your tastes. We need this information in order to properly help you.

Moving on.

I bring up my concern for you citing that one—exceptionally old—post because it is lacking in many of the tropes that don’t exist in the media critique field but exist in the real world. This is an issue I have run into countless times on WWC (hence further concern you did not cite any other posts) and have spoken about at length. 

People look at the media critique world exclusively, assume it is a complete evaluation of how Native Americans are seen in society, and as a result end up ignoring some really toxic stereotypes and then come to the inbox with “these characters aren’t abc trope, so they’re fine, but I want to rubber stamp them anyway. Anything wrong here?”. The answer is pretty much always yes. 

Issue one: “Waylaid” by Native Americans

This wording is extremely loaded for one reason: Native American people are seen as tricksters, liars, and predators. This is the #1 trope that shows up in the real world that does not show up in media critique. It’s also the trope I have talked about the most when it comes to media representation, so you not knowing the trope is a sign you haven’t read the entirety of the Native tag—which is in the FAQ as something we would really prefer you did before coming at us to answer questions. It avoids us having to re-explain ourselves.

Now, hostility is honestly to be expected for the time period the movie is set in. This is in the beginnings (or ramping up) of residential schools in America* and Canada, we have generations upon generations of stolen or killed children, reserves being allocated perhaps hundreds of miles from sacred sites, and various wars with Plains and Southwest peoples are in full force (Wounded Knee would have happened in 1890, in December, and the Dakoa’s mass execution would have been in 1862. Those are just the big-name wars. There absolutely were others). 

*America covers up its residential schools abuse extremely thoroughly, so if you try to research them in the American context you will come up empty. Please research Canada’s schools and apply the same abuse to America, as Canada has had a Truth and Reconciliation Commission about residential schools and therefore is more (but not completely) transparent about the abuse that happened. Please note that America’s history with residential schools is longer than Canada’s history. There is an extremely large trigger warning for mass child death when you do this research.

But just because the hostility is expected does not mean that this hostility would be treated well in the movie. Especially when you consider the sheer amount of tension between any Native actors and white actors, for how Sacheen Littlefeather had just been nearly beaten up by white actors at the 1973 Academy Awards for mentioning Wounded Knee, and the American Indian Religious Freedom Act had only been passed two years prior in 1978. 

These Native actors would not have had the ability to truly consent to how they were shown, and this power dynamic has to be in your mind when you watch this scene over. I don’t care that the writers were from a discriminated-against background. This does not always result in being respectful, and I’ve also spoken about this power imbalance at length (primarily in the cowboy tag).

Documentaries and history specials made in the 2010s (with some degree of academic muster) will still fall into wording that harkens Indigenous people to wolves and settlers as frightened prey animals getting picked off by the mean animalistic Natives. This is not neutral, or good. This is perpetuating the myth that the settlers were helpless, just doing their own thing completely unobtrusively, and then the evil territorial Native Americans didn’t want to share.

To paraphrase Batman: if I had a week I couldn’t explain all the reasons that’s wrong.

How were these characters waylaid by the Native population? Because that answer—which I cannot get because you did not name the media—will determine how good the framing is. But based on the time period this movie was made alone, I do not trust it was done respectfully.

Issue 2: “Befriending”

I mentioned this was in an intense period of residential schools and land wars all in that area. The Ute themselves had just been massacred by Mormons in the Grass Valley Massacre in 1865, with ten men and an unknown number of women and children killed thanks to a case of assumed association with a war chief (Antonga Black Hawk) currently at war with Utah. The Paiute had been massacred in 1866. Over 100 Timpanogo men had been killed, with an unknown number of women and children enslaved by Brigham Young in Salt Lake City in 1850, with many of the enslaved people dying in captivity (those numbers were not tracked, but I would assume at least two hundred were enslaved— that’s simply assuming one woman/wife and one child for every man, and the numbers could have very well been higher if any war-widows and their children were in the group, not to mention families with multiple children). This is after an unknown group of Indigenous people had been killed by Governor Brigham Young the year prior, to “permanently stop cattle theft” from settlers. 

The number of Native Americans killed in Utah in the 1800s—just the number of dead counted (since women and children weren’t counted)—in massacres not tied to war (because there was at least one war) is over 130. The actual number of random murders is much higher; between the uncounted deaths and how the Governor had issued orders to “deal with” the problem of cattle theft permanently. I doubt you would have been tried or convicted if you murdered Indigenous peoples on “your” land. This is why it’s called state sanctioned genocide.

This is not counting the Black Hawk War in Utah (1865-1872), which the Ute were absolutely a part of (the wiki articles I read were contradictory if Antonga Black Hawk was Ute or Timpanogo, but the Ute were part of it). The first official massacre tied to the war—the Bear River Massacre, ordered by the US Military—places the death count of just that singular massacre at over five hundred Shoshone, including elders, women, and children. It would not be unreasonable to assume that the number of Indigenous people killed in Utah from 1850, onward, is over a thousand, perhaps two or three.

Pardon me for not reading beyond that point to list more massacres and simply ballparking a number; the source will be linked for you to get an accurate number of dead.

So how did they befriend the Native population? Let alone see them as fully human considering the racism of the time period? Natives were absolutely not seen as fully human so long as they were tied to their culture, and assimilation equalling some sliver of respect was already a stick being waved around as a threat. This lack of humanity continues to the present day.

I’m not saying friendship is impossible. I am saying the sheer levels of mistrust that would exist between random wandering groups of white/pale men and Indigenous communities wouldn’t exactly make that friendship easy. Having the scene end be a genuine friendship feels ignorant and hollow and flattening of ongoing genocide, because settlers lied about their intentions and then lined you up for slauther (that’s how the Timpanogo were killed and enslaved).

Utah had already done most of its mass killing by this point. The era of trusting them was over. There was an active open hunting season, and the acceptable targets were the Indigenous populations of Utah.

(sources for the numbers: 

List of Indian Massacres in North America Black Hawk War (1865-1872))

Issue 3: “Proper housing/clothes and so forth”

Do you mean Western style settlements and jeans? If yes, congratulations you have written a reservation which means the land-ripped-away wounds are going to be fresh, painful, and sore.

You do not codify what you mean by “proper”, and proper is another one of those deeply loaded colonial words that can mean “like a white man” or “appropriate for their tribe.” For the time period, it would be the former. Without specifying which direction you’re going for, I have no idea what you’re imagining. And without the name of the media, I don’t know what the basis of this is.

The reservation history of this time period seems to maybe have some wiggle room; there were two reservations allocated for the Ute at this time, one made in 1861 and another made in 1882 (they were combined into the Uintah and Ouray Indian Reservation in 1886). This is all at the surface level of a google and wikipedia search, so I have no idea how many lived in the bush and how many lived on the reserve. 

There were certainly land defenders trying to tell Utah the land did not belong to them, so holdouts that avoided getting rounded up were certainly possible. But these holdouts would be far, far more hostile to anyone non-Native.

The Ute seemed to be some degree of lucky in that the reserve is on some of their ancestral territory, but any loss of land that large is going to leave huge scars. 

It should be noted that reserves would mean the traditional clothing and housing would likely be forbidden, because assimilation logic was in full force and absolutely vicious at this time. 

It’s a large reserve, so the possibility exists they could have accidentally ended up within the borders of it. I’m not sure how hostile the state government was for rounding up all the Ute, so I don’t know if there would have been pockets of them hiding out. In present day, half of the Ute tribe lives on the reserve, but this wasn’t necessarily true historically—it could have been a much higher percentage in either direction.

It’s up to you if you want to make them be reservation-bound or not. Regardless, the above mentioned genocide would have been pretty fresh, the land theft in negotiations or already having happened, and generally, the Ute would be well on their way to every assimilation attempt made from either residential schools, missionaries, and/or the forced settlement and pre-fab homes.

To Answer Your Question

I don’t want another flattened, sanitized portrayal of genocide.

Look at the number of dead above, the amount of land lost above, the amount of executive orders above. And try to tell me that these people would be anything less than completely and totally devastated. Beyond traumatized. Beyond broken hearted. Absolutely grief stricken with almost no soul left.

Their religion would have been illegal. Their children would have been stolen. Their land was taken away. A saying about post-apocalyptic fiction is how settler-based it is, because Indigenous people have already lived through their own apocalypse.

It would have all just happened at the time period this story is set in. All of the grief you feel now at the environment changing so drastically that you aren’t sure how you’ll survive? Take that, magnify it by an exponential amount because it happened, and you have the mindset of these Native characters.

This is not a topic to tread lightly. This is not a topic to read one masterpost and treat it as a golden rule when there is too much history buried in unmarked, overfull graves of school grounds and cities and battlefields. I doubt the movie you’re using is good representation if it doesn’t even hint at the amount of trauma these Native characters would have been through in thirty years.

A single generation, and the life that they had spent millennia living was gone. Despite massive losses of life trying to fight to preserve their culture and land.

Learn some history. That’s all I can tell you. Learn it, process it, and look outside of checklists. Look outside of media. 

And let us have our grief.

~ Mod Lesya

On Question Framing

Please allow me the opportunity to comment on “are there things you'd LIKE to see in a movie where a white man and a Jewish man run into Native Americans in the 1880s?” That strikes me as the same type of question as asking what color food I’d like for lunch. I don’t see how the cultural backgrounds of characters I have literally no other information about is supposed to make me want anything in particular about them. I don’t know anything about their personalities or if they have anything in common.

Compare the following questions:

“Are there things you’d like to see in a movie where two American women, one from a Nordic background and one Jewish, are interacting?” I struggle to see how our backgrounds are going to yield any further inspiration. It certainly doesn’t tell you that we’re both queer and cling to each other’s support in a scary world; it doesn’t tell you that we uplift each other through mental illness; it doesn’t go into our 30 years of endless bizarre inside jokes related to everything from mustelids to bad subtitles.

Because: “white”, “Jewish”, and “Native American” aren’t personality words. You can ask me what kind of interaction I’d like to see from a high-strung overachieving woman and a happy-go-lucky Manic Pixie Dream Girl, and I’ll tell you I’d want fluffy f/f romance. Someone else might want conflict ultimately resolving in friendship. A third person might want them slowly getting on each other’s nerves more and more until one becomes a supervillain and the other must thwart her. But the same question about a cultural demographic? That told me nothing about the people involved.

Also, the first time I meet a new person from a very different culture, it might take weeks before discussion of our specific cultural differences comes up. As a consequence, my first deep conversations with a Costa Rican American gentile friend were not about Costa Rica or my Jewishness but about things we had in common: classical music and coping with breakups--which are obviously conversations I could have had if we were both Jewish, both Costa Rican gentiles, or both something else. So in other words, I’m having trouble seeing how knowing so little about these characters is supposed to give me something to want to see on the page.

Thank you for understanding.

(And yes, I agree with Lesya, what’s with this trend of people trying to explain their fandom in a roundabout way instead of mentioning it by name? It makes it harder to give meaningful help….)

--Shira

[interact-if]

Day 2 of the interviews! The lovely Yulisa, everyone :chinhands:!!

Yulisa, author of The Nexus Trials: Trial One

Religious Diversity Month Featured Author

It’s been years since you last stepped foot inside the Silver Nexus, a large kingdom with mile high walls surrounding the bustling cities inside; each metropolis  filled with magic and intrigue hidden around every corner.

Once a place you called home, you’ve long since given up that security to travel the world as a wandering mercenary alongside your two companions– though soon an opportunity too good to refuse arises in the form of a mysterious though promising summons from the Silver Queen herself. Having asked for your company’s assistance specifically, you begin the long trek from the Bronze District, ignoring the vague details in favour of anticipating your big break.

Returning to your old homeland fills you with an almost heavy sense of nostalgia as you walk the brick road leading to the capital, hopes high knowing this job could change the lives of both you and your companions for the better. However, unease quickly sets in as you come to realise nothing could have ever prepared you for the trials that await…

The Nexus Trials Demo TBA | Read more [here]

Tags: sci-fi, fantasy, horror

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

Q1: Tell us a little bit about your project(s)!

The Nexus Trials is an entirely text based interactive story with two parts currently planned. For Trial One, the player takes on the role of a mercenary down on their luck. Having spent years wandering the expansive lands of the Outside, taking on whatever odd jobs you could find, you tossed your moral compass aside long ago for any potential of extra coin; having debated more than once resorting to selling the clothes on your back to avoid total bankruptcy.

Things begin to look up, however, when you receive a summons requesting the aid of you and your companions from the illustrious Silver Queen herself. The promise of prestige and security is one too good to resist; the offer a gateway to turning over a new leaf and starting fresh. Escaping the lingering shadow of your past never comes so easy though.

Q2: Why did you settle for interactive fiction? What drew you to this format?

I think, more than anything, what drew me to create interactive fiction was the freedom it allowed. The ability to go down these different paths and witness how the world around you changes depending on the choices you’ve made, whether it be for better or worse. Not having to worry about being bound to any specific, hardset canon is nothing short of exciting to experiment with, especially because even with my other non-IF stories I’m constantly entertaining the possibilities of the what ifs? even if they aren’t always plausible. I remember reading a lot of R.L. Stine growing up. 

For the most part, I actually wasn’t the biggest fan of the regular Goosebumps, but the spin off series Give Yourself Goosebumps had always intrigued me. Being as young as I was at the time when I first discovered them, the concept of CYOA books was foreign to me and opened my eyes to a new way of storytelling. I loved getting to dictate the course that the story would take, even if the consequences of my actions didn’t always lead to the greatest outcome. In a lot of ways, the little catchphrase has stuck with me throughout writing TNT, even if it’s been years now since I last read any of the books. Reader beware… you choose the scare!

Q3: How have your identity and beliefs influenced your work?

Everything about who I am has left traces in my work, though truthfully it’s often unintentional. With TNT taking place in a fantasy setting, I’ve done my best to instead let the world take on an identity of its own; though I do admit to projecting onto a few characters in particular. Really, just about the only time I ever go out of my way to bring my own bias into what I write is for really petty things, like my hate for all and anything mint. I don’t understand how people are so obsessed with that burning sensation… but then again, I’m allergic, so I’m probably not the greatest person to trust on that front.

Q4: What aspects would you like to be more explored or represented in media regarding your religion?

The norm these days in more mainstream media is for characters apart of minority religions to mention what they follow in passing, never to be brought up again, in some sort of half-hearted attempt at religious diversity. If nothing else, I want there to be a sense of pride from those token Jewish characters, unashamed in their identity, without the typical pressuring to partake in religious practises not their own from other characters. It’s as good a starting point as any.

Q5: What are you most excited about sharing related to your project?

Would it be cliche to say I’m excited just to be able to share my project in general? I’ve never had the confidence to release any of my other works before, and truthfully me putting TNT out there publicly was poorly controlled impulse on my part; then suddenly, next thing I know, it basically blows up overnight and I’ve got hundreds of people excited for it despite a demo not even being out yet. It’s a level of confidence I never thought I could achieve. If I had to choose, I can’t wait for everyone to meet the characters. Will you find a family in them, or make lifelong enemies?

Q6: A tiny bit unrelated, but what’s your favourite religious holiday?

A bit predictable, maybe, but I love Hanukkah. I have a rather large family, to put it mildly, so our schedules rarely line up which means most holidays tend to pass us by without much thought; Hanukkah, though, is something we’ve always managed to make time for, even if it’s not a consistent celebration. I value the time we all get to spend together more than anything.

Q7: Any other thoughts or advice you’d like to give to fellow authors or readers?

To my fellow authors or aspiring authors, go your own pace. You’ll find what works best for you even if it might seem hopeless at times. Remember that you’re building up these worlds brick by brick with your own two hands, breathing life into these characters you’ve birthed from ink. That in itself is something to be proud of.

To the readers, your support means more than you could ever know. I can never thank you all enough for the encouragement you’ve given me in the times I’ve wanted to give up.

[gringolet]

INTRO TO ARTHURIANA MASTERPOST

under the cut for absurd length

HOW TO GET STARTED WITH ARTHURIANA

The Arthuriana fandom is very broad and there's no one piece of media, which can be confusing for people just getting into it! There’s no right way to engage with arthuriana, and no minimum level of knowledge or reading you need to attain to qualify. 

The basis of the Arthurian Legend is a body of hundreds of texts written across the medieval and early Renaissance period in dozens of languages and cultural traditions. Which can seem pretty overwhelming, but there are a lot of modern vernacular translations-- you absolutely don’t have to learn old French or anything. I’ll go more in depth on where to get started with texts further down.

You also don’t have to read texts at all. As I said, there is no minimum basis-- if you prefer to engage with modern adaptations, or want to engage with medieval arthuriana outside of reading texts, that's also cool! 

In terms of modern adaptations there is a wealth of choices, which I am very much not an expert in lol, so I’m afraid I can’t give much in the way of reccs. Books I have heard good things about are, Exiled from Camelot, Idylls of the Queen, The Buried Giant, the Squire's Tale series, and Gawain by Gwen Rowley (warning that this one is apparently erotica? Good for him). I trust @princesslibs  for modern book reccomendations. and if you speak French Kaamelott is purportedly a very good tv show. Frankly no modern adaptation will ever be better than Spamalot to me, but that's just my personal take. 

If you are curious about engaging with texts but (understandably) don’t want to read a ton of dense medieval literature, one really cool resource is Norris J Lacy's New Arthurian Encyclopedia, which you can pick up at most used bookstores for under ten bucks. It’s a very thorough easy to look through reference of characters stories and texts. I know a lot of people like the Nightbringer wiki, though I personally am wary of it because it basically never cites sources. It’s a good quick reference though and a lot of people like it, I’d just take it with a grain of salt. Sparknotes also has a lot of summaries of the major texts like Le Morte D’Arthur and the romances of Chrétien De Troyes. You are not a fake fan for doing this I promise. And of course you’re always welcome to send me an ask <3 

Finally, getting started with texts. Quick glossary of terms:

--Verse Romance

    A verse (poem) story which can vary a great deal in length. These deal with the adventures of individual knights, usually Gawain, and tend to have a great deal of magical elements and the stereotypical monster slaying, questing, damosel rescuing knight adventures.

--Prose Novel or Romance

    A non poetic narrative, more like a modern novel, more likely to deal with the fall of Arthur, sword in the stone, Mordred, fall of Camelot sort of affair. They are usually quite long. Most famous of these are Le Morte D’Arthur and the French Vulgate, but there are a slew of late medieval Prose novels floating around. Eluding Rey.

--Pseudohistory

    I’m gonna b real these are boring I think. These are, as the name suggests, written as accurate depictions of history.  They very much are not, but they claim to be. Most famous of these is Jeffrey of Monmouth, Mr Jeff Mouth himself, and his History of the Kings of Britain, which I haven’t read because it bores me. You can if you want. It’s in Latin. Whatever. These tend to be some of the earliest texts, and include the “lives of saints” stories. Life of Gildas is the only funny one.

--Ballads

    These are only arguably texts, as most of them were written after the time of the “canon” being composed. But I like them. These are songs telling stories, recorded by people like Francis Child and Thomas Percy. They are very short and fun and include stories like The Boy and the Mantle, Kempion, and King Arthur and the King of Cornwall.

--Lai

    A specific type of French verse poem, usually quite short. The most famous collection of lais are those of Marie le France, including things like Bisclavret and Lanval. 

--Traditions

    Since Arthuriana was written all over, there are different literary traditions across time and space. The French tradition is one of the most famous, including works like the vulgate, Chretien and a lot of verse romances. The English tradition is one of the most influential on modern adaptations, including the Morte D’Arthur and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. There are also Welsh, German, Dutch, Hebrew, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Tagalog, Greek, Belarussian, Scottish, Irish, Breton, and probably even more. There’s a lot. It’s very cool and sexy.

A note that there is also a big tradition of Victorian revival Arthuriana. I wrote a starter guide to that here, it’s all very fun and like, aesthetic. 

Alright, now, which texts do you start with?

If you’re a little intimidated by long texts or medieval lit, starting with short verse romances in modern translation is a great place to start. These include Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, which is very good and gay and well known, Lancelot and the Hart With The White Foot, which is very good and gay and underappreciated, or Lanval, which is homophobic but funny. 

If you want to start with what is considered the oldest King Arthur Story, Culwch and Olwen is short and fun!

If you want to read about the grail quest, you can start where it started with Story of the Grail or Percival, then the four continuations, Essenbachs Parzival, the vulgate version of the Grail quest which you can buy paperback for like 5 bucks (I can also scan my copy for you just shoot me an ask <3)

If you want to read about the fall of camelot, I have the Vulgate death of Arthur section scanned here. There’s also the Alliterative and Stanzaic mortes, which are in middle English. I have scanned Simon Armitage's Alliterative Morte translation here. I’m working on my own translation of the Stanzaic but it’s not done lol. If you want the first third or so DM me lol. King Artus is very short and readable and it’s a Jewish text which is really cool.

If you want to read about Lancelot, Chrétien de Troyes Lancelot is his first text. He also has a whole long vulgate section, the first part is scanned here by val <3, and there's Lanzelet,  Sebile is in it so it’s probably very good. He’s also basically the main character of Le Morte D’Arthur which I might as well talk about here uhm. It’s long and fun in places and boring in others but it does have like the version most modern adaptations take from and tells the whole story of Arthur and Camelot from beginning to end. The Keith Baines version scanned by val is the most readable but it is an abridgement I believe. people who like le morte usually read this version so its probably the best choice lol

If you want to read about Gawain, good news! He’s in basically everything. Even texts that aren’t supposed to be about Gawain are doomed to become The Gawain Show Featuring The Protagonist Of This Text As A Sidekick. Which is so funny of him. The Roman Van Walewein is very funny and long and Gawain™. I also recommend, L’atre Perilous, Diu Krone, Sir Gawain and the Turk, and I could go on but for brevity's sake let's start there. 

If you want to read about Tristan, go shoot an ask to Valentine @lanzelet on tumblr because Tristan scares me. 

Thank you to rey @gawain-in-green for helping me find links and put this together! They are also a super great resource for stuff and very cool and nice <3 They have a tag on their blog for full text resources so deffo look at that if you want more scans and links, and an info tag and tons of cool shit that is way better organized than my blog lol

Okay finishing this off, if you want content warnings for any texts, feel free to shoot an ask! I know medieval lit can be A Lot and there aren’t a lot of good warning systems, so if I’ve read it or know someone who has I can give you warnings if you want to read something but are understandably wary . <3

In terms of tagging, Arthuriana and Arthurian Legend are the main ones on tumblr. Arthurian Mythology is also used but tbh shouldn’t be. On Ao3, we’re trying to get our own Arthurian Literature tag but <3 its a whole thing. Anyway the tag is Arthurian Mythology, but I’ll b real, it’s kind of flooded with stuff that doesn’t really belong there, because even though it’s a fandom tag other people unknowingly tag stuff as Arthurian Mythology when it’s like, a knight au. Which is not their fault bc it’s confusing but, ah, alas. ANyhow, feel free to drop in my inbox anytime with questions, suggestions, reccs, etc!

Okay godspeed!! Have fun reading, watching, browsing, etc! 

[imperiuswrecked]

Still largely unfamilair with Namor, so please trust that I'm asking genuinely and in good faith: You've talked before how Namor being sexist is OCC, but I dunno-I know Early Installment Weirdness is a thing, but if we are still gonna give shit to Reed for 60's sexism, (see Life Story), Namor was the one who kidnapeed Sue and went "marry me OR ELSE" and even in modern stuff had "please, I know what you REALLY want" attitude. The guy obviously loves strong women who don't take his shit, but that's not the same as truly respecting them or women as a whole, if internet and Joss Whedon have proven anything. You don't see him pulling that shit on Jim Hammond.

Sorry this took so long to reply to, this is actually a very valid question that I have thought about before when looking more into Namor as a character and what I found myself asking is: Is a character sexist? Or is this character being written in a sexist way? The line between these question is very thin because fictional characters cannot actively chose their own fate. Who or why a character is being written by is important to consider when breaking down a character as is considering who the writer is. Literature/writing is not something that is created in a vacuum, so you have to consider when it was written, who it’s written for and by whom. 

Namor has been around for over 80 years, he is an old school, literally one of the first, golden age characters. His character has vastly changed from his first appearance to his current. There have been many many writers who are sexist and it shows in their writing. I won't go out and say "not all writers" because let's face it, the majority of white male writers grew up in a world where being sexist isn't questioned and Namor is rarely written by a female writer. So first yes, there has been sexism in the writing.

So let us examine this; Is Namor a sexist character or was he written specifically in a sexist way that does not fully represent the character?  The definition of sexism is: prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex.

Namor doesn’t hate/discriminate against women, he hates all people men & women, he hates surface people, he doesn’t get along with all the Atlantean people. He isn’t a soft and fluffy character, he is literally a giant jackass who doesn’t pull his punches or his words. He opens up to very few people. People confuse a character being a jerk or abrasive with them being a bad character. Namor only uses his people skills when it’s with people he likes. 

The Susan Storm thing is just... bad. It’s terrible actually, and the you have to remember that Namor is being written as an antagonist 90% of the time, a rival for Sue’s affection from Reed. When Namor is with women who aren’t Susan Storm and thus isn’t being written as a alpha male love interest, he doesn’t constantly hit on them, sometimes he flirts but most times he doesn’t. Namor shows more respect to women than he does to men. 

One example of Namor around a woman who isn’t a love interest, and he has to takes orders from, he slips up, ignores the chain of command and rushes in. He is reprimanded by Wasp and Namor falls in line because he respects her command as she is the leader.

Avengers (1963) #217-278 Janet van Dyne is leader of the Avengers, Namor joins in #262.

Compare Namor to a very sexist character such as Fabian Cortez and you can see they are two very different characters. As for the sexism of Reed in the early days, it’s just sexist writing, doesn’t mean Reed himself is, or he thinks less of Sue. Life Story is a terrible comic, I will say to find Reed fans who are more knowledgeable than I but just from what I read, the writer really didn’t know the characters at all, he even had Ben (a Jewish character) eating pork. Like that is a huge red flag that if he can’t even get that most basic fact down then he really isn’t a good writer. 

The purpose of Fantastic Four: Life Story, is confusing because it’s not a retelling of their origin, it’s not a homage, it’s straight up rewrite to make it more “interesting”. It would have been better off as some AU no one would care about. If you want to read about Sue & Reed not being a couple and Sue getting with Namor then there are other what ifs that cover that better.

So to wrap up my thoughts on this subject; Namor in Fantastic Four books is written differently and if you want to see more of the character I would not recommend you read him there, because in those books he is meant to be Sue’s “dark temptation”. Reed is a character who gets a lot of hate for no reason, and most of it has to do with people who just don’t like him. 

I hope I answered this to your satisfaction and if you have any other questions about Namor I would be happy to reply.

[palmett-hoes]

i said in this post that i have original characters and backstories for neil's extended family. it took me,, a really long time to write it all down. it's been a full month since the original post, and this is still just a run through of things, not full prose, which i might be interested in doing one day but not anytime soon

now, some things to note about what i'm writing, why, and how. methodology, basically. this might not have come through yet in my posts, because i just don't post about my half-finished ideas, but i research a LOT. i like to base what i write about on real life, even if it's just headcanons and fanfic

also, i love helping people with research, so if anyone wants help with research for a fic or just their personal headcanons or anything hit me up!!

as a white person who wants to write characters from different ethnic backgrounds, i feel i have a responsibility to really do my due diligence and research as much as possible to consider things from every angle. and part of that for me is making sure that every character of color has a backstory. they don't just appear somewhere, i have to give them a reason for being there and a story for how they got there, even if that's not what i write their STORY about. people, come from places, basically. i follow a lot of demographic census information and population averages, as well as a lot of history, from as general as transatlantic trade in the last 500 years to as specific as the changes in a single city in a certain year

talking to other writers in the fandom i know i'm a little overzealous, but this is what gives me peace of mind to feel like i am putting the effort in to get things right

so anyway, as for what that means here:

i like writing neil as mixed black/jewish. it works well thematically for his character, as well as just what FEELS right for how i visualize him in my head

only, that can't simply come from nowhere. we know who his parents are. they need to also be poc for neil to be one, and they're a complicated pair to handle in that lens

one choice i made about that, for multiple reasons, is that everything about neil's parents' backgrounds should mirror each other. it can't simply be that one if them is black and one is jewish, or even that mary is both and nathan is white, because that says something i don't want to say any way you slice it. additionally, i want both facets of his ethnicity to be important to neil, and i feel as though he would want to ignore the half of himself from his father.

so: they both have to be mixed, giving them a sort of,, ideological equal footing, as it were. that way, i can also write three different experiences, rather than accidentally implying that This is what being black is, or This is what being jewish is, or This is what being mixed is. and that's also important to me, even if it's just in my head or not even directly addressed. it's still a big consideration of mine anytime i write about any of them

now, finally, onto mary and nathan! i'll put it below a cut because this is already long enough, the under-the-cut is much longer, and i don't want to wear out your thumbs if you don't care

mary hatford

canon timeline, neil was born in 1988. as a tentative number let's say mary was around 30 when he was born, meaning she would be born in the 50s. say her parents were roughly the same age, so they were born around the 20s

like i said, what's happening where in history is very important to me for building these backstories, and major historical events tend to have a lot of influence on population shifts. and well,, jews and europeans in the early-to-mid 20th century? there's no getting around involving world war II. nothing explicit, but it is mentioned and part of the story

mary’s paternal family are the hatfords. they're from the british west indies, largely jamaica, but they've been involved with shipping and trade all over the trans-atlantic region for generations.

they have a complicated relationship with the british empire, having both worked for them and against them at various points, sometimes both at once. similarly, they've tried multiple times through the generations to relocate the family to england permanently, but have been turned away or pressured out

they associate england and the british empire with power, and they both disagree with and desire that power in degrees which vary person to person. they do have a general idea between them though that living in england is a sign of status and authenticity, and while they don't want to leave jamaica permanently they do want their center of power to be in england, and there is a deep resentment against the anglos for not allowing them to stay permanently despite their wealth and influence, the fact that their work will always be looked down on and seen as lesser

i did come into building the hatfords with the primary idea of them being black british, and looking into the organized crime connection second. them being jamaican/west indies is a reference to the jamaican posse, who have a large presence in the london crime scene, although that's really the only connection. the hatfords aren't really yardies in any sense

the hatfords' status as organized crime is a little iffy. mostly they skirt the line between legal and illegal, owning legal trading companies and doing plenty of legal shipping. their main business in the criminal underworld is being middlemen moving supplies for other groups. they have a lot of contacts, and they serve an invaluable role in international smuggling, but they rarely get their own hands dirty. they move things from one place to the other and don't question too much what it is, though they don't deal in people

mary's father is named samuel hatford (first name in reference to samuel bellamy, the gentleman pirate king of the early 18th century). he was born in England, raised largely in Jamaica, then moved back to England as a teenager/young man. he's light-hearted and a bit idealistic for someone from a crime family, seeing the best in people even when they're cold and often believing in principle over profit, which at times put him in conflict with what's best for business

he almost enlisted in world war II, but instead convinced the family to work as weapons and supplies runners supporting the Allies and guerilla resistance groups

mary's mother is named cima ben nahman (ladino/judeo-spanish/sephardic names, doesn't really reference anything or anyone in particular). She's is an algerian jew. Born in algeria (city undecided, though algiers had the largest jewish community at the time), she moved to france for a few years as a young woman, probably for education. she joined anti-fascist organizations which became resistance groups once germany invaded

she's stoic, and has a ruthless mind for strategy. like most algerian jews, she's caught between her home country and its colonizer. the french empire played the algerian muslim majority against the jewish minority as a way to create infighting and distract the algerians from uniting and turning against them, but the algerian jews also then became reliant on the french for protection. (it's a really, really complicated situation)

cima sort of hates them both, both algeria and france. her only allegiance is to being jewish

(contrast this to samuel, who feels that he is BOTH british and caribbean, even when those two identities may be in conflict)

cima and samuel met when samuel provided weapons and supplies to cima's militia group. he took particular interest in them and went out of his way to help, above and beyond the other groups the hatfords were supplying

in the waning period of the war, cima was seriously injured, i'm currently thinking a land mine accident. she survived, but her recovery was slow. she lost an arm and had burns across half her torso, neck, and face. samuel brought her to england supported her through her recovery. in the hospital, they spoke a lot about why they each chose to fight, and the ways they did because neither were formal soldiers fighting for a country. samuel was in many ways fighting for an ideal, while cima was fighting for her people. cima also talked to him a lot about judaism and religion during this time, which samuel took an interest in. eventually, cima decided to stay

they got married. samuel converted, which was somewhat controversial with his family. however, cima agreed to join the family business, where she became an integral but sometimes ruthless member. after algerian independence, she brought some of her trusted family and community into the fold as well, some moving to england and others to france

both cima and samuel believed very heavily in responsibility, though what it meant for each of them was different. cima believed in preparedness and follow-through, samuel believed in family and protection, doing what's right outside of the bounds of the law. this contributed a lot to how they raised their children

when they were born, mary and stuart were raised in england (and i like to think they have an oldest brother). the hatfords were a big family, and influential, although careful about balancing the legal and less-legal sides of their business. the ben nahmans were smaller, and most of them were in france so mary and her brothers saw them less often. they were raised very religiously and culturally jewish, though close with the caribbean side of their family too, as well as being the first generation who were born and raised in england. this put them at a cross-section of three very different cultures, and was where mary first learned about changing and blending in with different groups

mary was the youngest and a little bit spoiled by her father, aunties, and uncles. her mother however was much less tolerant of her. clearly very affected by her time in the war, cima became extremely distrustful and suspicious, and tried to instill in her children a similar sentiment of secrecy and self-sufficiency, avoiding attention and casual relationships. she could be harsh on them, especially mary, who was the most resistant to this

growing up, mary was irresponsible and fun-loving, goading her brothers and cousins, getting in trouble, and starting fights. she didn't understand the tenuous balance of being organized crime, and at times put the whole family at risk by overestimating their sway. her mistakes affected the whole family but it was usually her mother who confronted her about them first and most harshly

she resented her mother's control, and didn't understand the reasons behind it. she also couldn't differentiate between the boundaries her mother sets as a result of her own trauma, and the necessary boundaries she set for the safety of the family, viewing them as one and the same, and leading her to hate any kind of control exerted over her

really, a lot of cima's character is just who mary ends up becoming after being married to nathan and being on the run. i like the story of a child becoming the parent they once hated. rather than learn from her mother, both her failures and her successes, mary becomes her, doomed to make the same mistakes. this is also why cima is wounded by a landmine, because mary dies in fire

---

nathan wesninski

nathan was HARD to come up with a story for, mostly because,,, WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS GUY WORK FOR THE JAPANESE YAKUZA

wesninski is a VERY polish name. the japanese-polish connection is,, not super strong

so anyway, working off the idea of the wesninski family being a polish jewish one, WHERE is he going to meet a japanese crimelord to get into a multi-generation debt/business arrangement with?

turns out, the answer is brazil

brazil actually has a large jewish population (roughly 10th largest in the world). it began with its colonization by the portuguese, but the 19th century to modern population largely comes from central and eastern europe. brazil ALSO has the largest japanese population outside of japan

also this story ended up being WAY more detailed and prosaic than samuel&cima's story, which is basically just bullet points. there's no reason for this i love both stories very much just for some reason the words flowed for me here and not there

to avoid having a second jewish story where wwII is prominent, the wesninskis get a page out of my own family's book: nathan's grandfather (neil's great grandfather) came to the americas fleeing the russian pograms around the turn of the 20th century

so

Wesninski came to brazil (city undecided, have a lot more research to do about individual cities in brazil). he had waardenburg syndrome(a hereditary genetic condition that can affect eyes and hearing) which runs very strongly in his family (his son, nathan, and neil will all inherit it), and he is completely Deaf. while he came to brazil alone, in his new home he connected both with the local jewish community and the local deaf community, and eventually marries another Deaf Jewish woman

eventually they were able to establish a kosher deli and restaurant in the city, one which became a common hangout for the Deaf community. then one day (probably around 1915), a group of japanese men came in, and kept returning

these were the moriyamas, recently arrived from japan, in a place with very few japanese people and businesses. they liked the wesninski deli because they didn't share a language with anyone in there, couldn't even be heard by most of them, and it would also be difficult for the authorities to question them. two layers of protection for a crime family in a vulnerable place

wesninski and the moriyamas were amicable to each other, but as they didn't actually have a way to communicate that was the extent of it. but the moriyamas were polite and payed well and didn't bother the other customers. als, as a jewish establishment, they had a lot of education resources, which were helpful to the moriyamas in learning about brazilian society, including beginning to understand portuguese

now, in japan, the moriyamas were a small yakuza family. they got driven out by their bigger and stronger and more established competition around the time when japanese immigration to brazil was just starting, so that was where they went. though they had little option in where they ended up, they also had little competition in establishing their business

i still have a lot of research to do about the moriyamas. about both how the yakuza operate and about how brazilian organized crime works, and about life in brazil for early japanese immigrants. so a lot of the moriyama details are pretty vague

now the wesninskis had a son, meyer (nathan's father. name in reference to meyer lansky, famous american jewish mobster of polish descent) who was around 14 when the moriyamas arrived. he himself was not fully deaf like his parents, though was hard of hearing and raised in the Deaf community. as he goes through his rebellious teenage years, well, the gangsters are right there

in the early days the moriyamas were still more concerned with mostly the japanese enclaves, but they had aspirations of expanding. meyer wasn't japanese, but he was helpful to the moriyamas who came into the deli to study. he was perceptive and bold, could keep a secret, knew his way around knives from working in the deli, and knew the city. he was a good asset to them, and he was interested in causing some trouble

over the next ten years or so, meyer got increasingly more involved, alongside the moriyamas becoming increasingly more established throughout the city. he goes from someone who helps out occasionally and relays information beyween parties to getting involved with minor shakedowns, bribery, evidence disposal. by the time he's in his 20s he's thoroughly enmeshed

his parents were older when they had him, and his father died relatively young, leaving meyer the store and his mother to take care of. they were vaguely aware of his connections to the moriyamas and didn't approve of what he did with them but he also kept the worst from them, and was always a diligent son, and the only one they had. he assured them no matter how far he went that he wasn't "really" part of the gang

"yakuza have tattoos, and see, ima? no tattoos. i'm still a good jewish son, not a gangster"

now the problem arises when meyer falls for camara da machado, a young Deaf woman who frequents the store

(based on/inspired by/FC yaya dacosta (where the name comes from) and rutina wesley)

she was a Deaf girl born to a hearing family who struggled to give her the support she needed, maybe even just a single mother, and she'd spent a lot of time alone at the deli from a young age (12-ish?). she was shy and quiet and a little bit of a shrinking violet, but the wesninskis became very fond of her. she started tentatively helping them out around the store which became a job. she was often included in family meals and holidays, and always had a bed in their apartment above the deli if she needed one, and more than once had helped patch meyer up after he got in trouble to hide the extent of it from his parents

she was a couple years younger than him but he'd always been sweet on her. and she'd had a crush on him from basically the moment she'd layed eyes on him. they'd known each for years and camara was basically family, and then one day when they were both in their 20s it just suddenly clicked for them

so meyer and camara fell in love. meyer was head of the house, had to keep the deli running, and had his mother, camara, and possibly camara's mother (undecided at this juncture) to worry about and he decided he didn't want to continue working with the moriyamas in case it dragged his family into danger. being a gangster was a fling of youth and he was ready to grow up

when he informed the moriyamas of this though, they,,, did not agree.

while MEYER might not have considered himself part of the gang, THEY didn't think he just got to walk away. he'd worked with them for too long and knew too much. there might even have been a desire to tie him to the family permanently through marriage. and well,, one man against a growing criminal empire can't do much

it was a huge shock to him, and made him truly realize how naive and reckless he'd been. he'd been a dumb kid who wanted to start some trouble, the moriyamas were career criminals. they expected that once you were in, you were in for life, and they did not take kindly to meyer disagreeing with this

he didn't know how to explain this to his family... so he didn't. they'd all told him they wanted him to stop, but he'd meant for the announcement to be a surprise. after learning that he would not be permitted to walk away, he chose to just hide it and continue with business as usual

it worked for a while, maybe a few years, a time during which the moriyamas were getting a lot more brutal as they got more established and increasingly looked to expand, putting them in competition with other gangs and greater law enforcement, until they were a true crime empire spread across whole regions of the country. meyer had lost a lot of esteem in their eyes by asking to leave, leading them to put him under increasing scrutiny and giving him more incriminating tasks, to ensure that he would be incriminated if he ever tried to turn them in. it's during this time that he first had to kill for them

then camara got pregnant

and meyer was terrified. he didn't know how the moriyamas would deal with a kid. the only marriages and children he knew of within the family were endorsed by the boss, many arranged by him, and he knew his wouldn't be approved. yakuza wives were heavily involved with the business too, and he absolutely did not want that for camara

he broke down and told her everything. she's horrified, and furious that he kept it from her, but she didn't want to give up her baby. it would be hard, but she believed they can keep it hidden, and if the moriyamas found out, maybe it wouln't be so bad?

(spoiler: it would)

they have a son, born natan da machado, under his mother's name

meyer and camara never got married. meyer was going to propose after he left the moriyamas but that obviously didn't happen. marriages were supposed to be blessed by the boss, and meyer never dared to ask. they already lived together, anyway

but with natan, they decided that meyer couldn't acknowledge him as his own. in the deli or in the streets, he didn't acknowledge natan. he was camara's bastard son, and meyer didn't want anything to do with him

it was a flimsy disguise at best. natan was mixed, but there was a strong enough resemblance to his father. even if his hair was a darker red or he had brown skin, they had the same eyes

they tried to keep him away from the moriyamas as he grew up, hoping they wouldn't see him and make the connection, but they also kept him very hidden in general, just in case. he spent a lot of time inside, with his grandmothers

and that was how natan grew up, feeling like a secret, his father cold and distant, only acknowledging him in their apartment. cut off from other kids his age. a hearing boy in a Deaf family (natan himself was HoH but still had most of his hearing. meyer and his maternal grandmother could both hear, but they had gotten out of the habit of it and mostly communicated through sign)

natan developed a deep feeling of resentment towards his father and shame about himself from a young age. he felt like a mistake, defective somehow. so wrong he had to be hidden away from everyone

there's only so long that you can hide a child, though, and when natan was around ten the moriyamas found out about him, and they were not happy.

they didn't like split attention or loyalty. they kept children and family under very tight wraps. they should be one hundred percent enmeshed in the moriyama empire, raised to be loyal and helpful in whatever way they were needed. the fact that meyer wanted and was willing to leave for this family, and then hid his son, was a huge betrayal

still, they gave him an opportunity to prove his loyalty: kill camara or the moriyamas would kill them all: her, natan, meyer, and both their mothers

but meyer couldn't do it, and instead he told camara to run and hope they didn't actually care enough to chase her down. and she did. and she couldn't take natan with her. (i haven't fully fleshed out why yet, currently thinking that meyer was given this ultimatium when they already had natan)

so camara left her son, and got away

i built the story of mary's mother as a reflection of mary's story if something had been different, and i built nathan's story the same way. his wife takes her son and runs away with him when the moriyamas try to take him from her. nathan's mother was in the same situation and left him behind

over the next forty years of his belonging to the moriyamas he gets to marinate in that resentment. from the father that ignored to the mother who ran away from him, he internalizes it as being something wrong with him, not the circumstances. the more he's taught to torture and kill and the more he excels at it, the more this belief gets cemented. he's good at killing, he was meant to kill. he's twisted and broken and wrong inside and he always was and his parents always knew

and then when it happens again but differently this time he throws away a decade and millions of dollars and his standing with his boss to hunt down his son and his wife because he didn't get to run away so why should they? why does mary love nathaniel more than camara loved natan?

from here, the exact detail's of nathan's story aren't quite solidified. whether he was raised by his father from then on or by his grandmothers (or whether his grandmothers left with his mother) or whether the moriyamas put him somewhere else entirely, but from then on he lived under the moriyamas' direct supervision, and they taught him how to turn a knife on a man

they took his mother's name from him, though, so he's natan wesninski, not natan da machado, because they own the wesninskis now

and when the moriyamas decided to expand beyond brazil when natan was a young man instead of a child, and settled on the east coast of the US, they renamed him nathan, because it sounded more "american"

---

so that's it. obviously there are still a lot of unfinished details in both stories, but they're strong enough at this point to stand on their own and i haven't changed or rethought a lot of the major details in a long time

i've become extremely attached to these OCs and their stories, and i hope they interest other people too. some day i'd like to write them out in prose properly, along with the story of nathan and mary meeting, but that'll be a while away considering the pace i move at

so until then i just wanted to put this out there

[hoodoo12]

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa

Hold up, hold up there-- Someone’s salty.

(mixing fandoms there, but it’s the indomitable Alex Brightman so it’s okay)

@my-name-is-louise won’t be directed to this post; I can’t tag her because she has me blocked. It did come to my attention, however, that she made a post filled with lies, ‘tagged’ me specifically in it, and insulted a large group in this fandom. 

Here is a screenshot of her post (again, can’t reblog because of the aforementioned blockage):

Let’s break this down, shall we?

1) Howard Phillips Lovecraft was a racist and anti-Semitic. Yes on all counts. Even trying to use the “he was a product of his time” argument doesn’t hold water. His personal views were horrible now and they were horrible then.  I don’t know anyone who stans the man’s personality as an idol, and not only was I reading Lovecraft before you were born, I belong to multiple Lovecraft fanclubs and groups. We admire the Lovecraft’s ability to world-build and create horror (along with others, such Robert Chambers, an author who influenced him) that was beyond the scope of human- or folklore-based terror. His fiction created a legacy that extends to this day. Hell, I just watched a movie last night called Underwater that was one of the most recent films drawing heavy inspiration from his work. 

People that I know don’t stan HP Lovecraft. It’s complex, but we can love what he contributed to the field of horror and dislike the man personally. That’s actually a thing that can happen, unlike you who seems to only see things THIS WAY or THAT WAY. 

Most people in this fandom aren’t Lovecraft fans. They may not even know about him, or Lovecraftian/cosmic/weird horror. Some do, and they created art and stories featuring aspects of it. 

I, however, gave Beetlejuice tentacles based on the fact that the DC run of the musical had his name as “Lawrence Shoggoth Betelgeuse” and Juno was “Juno Shoggoth”. The writers took inspiration from Lovecraft’s creations, and I ran with it because you know what? I like tentacles and other people like tentacles. It’s fun and fits into the musical’s canon. 

2) Some people hc Musical Beetlejuice as Jewish and/or gay. Or bi. Or pan. Or ace. Or trans. Or female. Other people do not. He is a fictional character. He can be anything anyone wants to imagine. Since you’ve got a hate on for me, I’ll state I have never in my own personal works said Musical Beetlejuice was Jewish or gay. That does not mean I try to force other people to accept my hcs as the only ones that are correct. Gatekeeping this fandom is your hill to die on, not mine.

3) Neither Burton or Keaton created Beetlejuice, but Lovecraft did. What the actual fuck are you talking about? Literally no one has ever claimed this. This may make sense in your head, but trust me, it’s dumb as fuck. 

4) My tiny clique of idiots! I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard at anything for a while reading that, till I got to your next couple of libelous insults. I really, really want to tag that “tiny clique of idiots” but Tumblr has a line limit on posts. Don’t worry! I will be putting a link to this in the Beetlejuice discord servers I belong to so everyone can enjoy your unfounded, lying hate. 

5) My ignorance is offensive. I don’t know what ignorance you’re specifically talking about (I’ll assume you think you “schooled” me on the Lovecraft stuff because you’re already an ass). Your random bursts of hate are offensive. Your lack of anything creative or constructive to the fandom is offensive. 

6) I objectify gay people. Uh . . . what? This one I really would like a reply to because . . . what? 

7) I’m a bigot in Woke clothing. Nope. Being “woke” directly counters your libel that I’m a Nazi. You might want to actually look up the definition of bigot, because it’s suspiciously close to your attitude for others in this fandom.

8) Eat shit. Nah. What I am going to do is see Alex Brightman talk about tentacles later today (which he knows is from me) and write more on the rps I’m doing with friends. They all feature Beetlejuice and they all have tentacles in them! Good times. 

In all honesty and all snarkiness aside, this musical and the part of the fandom that came from it seems to make you so angry because it is not what you want and you simply cannot understand that people from all over the world were brought together by it. People have fun together and are creating and for some reason that personally offends you. You can’t “find your tribe” because you’re combative and both cannot see past your own ideas of the character and are too rigid to even accept that other people like something you do not.

I feel sorry for you. 

[i-did]

Ok ok this may be a dumb question but we'll see, what are your thoughts on bdsm + andreil? The vast vast majority of these types of fics have Andrew as the dom (and I get why) BUT theres 1 dom Neil fic and I'm like 99% sure I think I saw u comment on it so I'm assuming ur reading it and enjoying it too. And tbh, I find it much better than pretty much all the dom Andrew stuff, I hadnt realised the potential dom Neil could have until I read it. But anyway, I wanted ur thoughts? 🤲 (this is so badly phrased I apologise)

Lmfaooo being perceived is so weird. I hope I didn't say anything because I remember commenting on that fic and thinking about commenting something about my personal sex life, but I don't remember if I did lmfaooo. Omg okay, all that aside–time to now respond to this seriously.

Okay regarding that specific fic, yeah I read a lot of AFTG fics of all types, I haven't read something NSFW in a while, but when I saw the ‘Dom!Neil’ tag I decided to give it a shot. It’s interesting seeing how other authors go about their ideas and just enjoying their story. It doesn’t align with my personal ideas of everything obviously, but those are my personal HC and that fic is that authors personal HC. I like that they’re exploring something that this fandom doesn’t see explored a lot and is just a fun read, lol. Honestly I give up on most BDSM fandom fics because the depiction of Neil makes me uncomfortable ...almost always. I agree a lot more with this fics concept of how they would explore power vs control in a BDSM sexual sense, than most Dom!Andrew Sub!Neil fics– which I have long ago stopped trying to read.

Okay here are my personal ideas about Andrew and Neil, and how they would explore sex.

Many NSFW HC below the cut:

I personally don’t think canon Andrew and Neil would go into BDSM culture or ascribe to either roll strictly. I feel they wouldn’t like established dynamics like that and would get turned off by that aspect, especially since Andrew both craves control of situations but fears ‘being like them’ and a lot of Dom play is about power dynamics that he wouldn't be comfortable with. Andrew sees power in sex as different as control during sex. He needs a controlled environment, and be in control of the other by having them listen to his boundaries, but he can’t feel he’s overpowering the other person. I don’t think he could do a lot of strictly Sub things either for similar reasons, he would feel like he's giving up control of the situation in a way that could make him very uncomfortable.

Neil on the other hand is also often portrayed as a very textbook sub, but I don't think he is. I see him written as a brat a lot, but personally I don’t see him doing that since a lot of what playing with a brat is, is giving them what they want and denying them what they want and them ‘defying you’ and stuff. It's like a form of playful miscommunication I don't see Andrew or Neil ever actually doing. Obviously all healthy and proper play is outlined and discussed beforehand, but I see Andrew and Neil as needing the actions themselves to be clear and cut and dry.

Neil also gets off on Andrews pleasure, Andrew is the same about Neil, they're almost like a feedback loop of “the other enjoying themselves is inherently hot.” to me, Neil getting off on other people (Andrew) getting off is a very Dom like quality. In turn, Andrew is very turned on by pleasuring Neil, but from the point of his knees, which is almost sub like, he is turned on by sucking someone else off and seeing how into it they are. Either way, I think they both wouldn’t be into hardcore BDSM or BDSM culture but also aren’t vanilla. I don’t see either of them going to leather clubs instead of Edens and going to Folsom Fair and joining BDSM social groups and stuff.

I also don’t think either would ever use titles for the other, I think they don’t call each other by their names often on a day-to-day basis, since usually the people were talking to already know their name, and we don’t need to use it for clarification. I do think–just like in canon with emotionally charged moments–names will be used with more emphasis, especially Abram which is not used frequently.

Side note about my Jewish Neil HC: Judaism rocks because sex isn’t shamed, but rather considered a blessing and a holy act. In fact, it’s a good thing to have sex on Shabbat, G-d is actively like ‘fuck yeah you little humans, enjoy life’s pleasures and each other's company’ sex was designed to feel good and a way to connect. Shabbat is all about human connection with those important to us, and a day of rest away from work, so sex on Shabbat is actually actively a good thing. I don’t think Neil is ever religiously Jewish, but Andrew making a joke about this once would be peak to me. Which also fits Abram, a very Jewish name I HC to be not just Neil’s middle name but his Jewish name, and is used in said holy context of sex.

I think like a lot of healthy adults who are sexually active, they will explore and will be more adventurous to try new and other things, especially when dealing with issues like waning to get off but having touch aversion and issues like that. I have a lot of sex life HC about them actually, ways they navigate erectile dysfunction, mental health, and what they like in a safe environment. They trust each other, and I like imagining different ways aspects of their relationship would change or evolve in my head in all different types of ways, including sexual. I also enjoy giving them kinks and inclinations I specifically don’t have, because it’s like me exploring the concept of why someone else might like something even though I personally don’t. I’m not imagining things that make me uncomfortable necessarily, just things I'm neutral on or don’t see the appeal of, but know why they appeal to others and try to imagine what these characters might think.

I feel canon Andrew and Neil explore sex and dynamics that make them comfortable, I have HC about Andrew possibly exploring pup play and wearing a collar for Neil partially as a “joke” in the beginning, but discovering they really like it. I also HC Neil is really into athletic stuff sexually, he thinks Andrew half dressed with his padding still on and a jock strap is just peak sex appeal. I also think Neil is very sensory, and makes associations with smells and senses easily, so he develops a sweat kink, which leads into his armpit kink. Neil isn't turned on by ‘the bad smell of sweat’ but rather the fact that when Andrew is sweaty he smells like Andrew a lot, rather than after a shower he smells more like soap, and he can’t smell Andrew as much. Andrew on the other hand prefers cleaner sex. He’s not triggered by dirty sex though– he used to suck guys off at an alt dance club and is used to the smell of sweaty balls, it's just not an active turn on. Neil has ‘nothing is hotter than Andrew wearing running shoes and socks, and only running shoes and socks’ energy to me too. I think Andrew feels good about himself in leather, but isn't going to be a leather daddy and wear the leather assless chaps and the cap, he will wear the leather harness that every gay wears to pride, but he wears it just for Neil. Also, Neil loves Andrews pecs, Neil’s kinda a boob guy, but for Andrew’s pecs specifically.

I personally think Andrew and Neil typically don’t have penetrative sex. They do it sometimes–and when Andrew is ready he will bottom more as a way to prove something to himself than anything–but it’s not their preferred way or their ‘go to’. When they finally do, they don’t see it as ‘finally having sex for the first time’, since all the sex they've been having is real sex, even if its oral, hand jobs, etc. I don’t think Neil is naturally inclined to bottoming, and since even the visual of topping can make Andrew uncomfortable, they enjoy sex in any other ways, thigh fucking, docking, Andrew fucking Neil’s ass cheeks, sucking each other off, mutual masturbation, frottage, etc. and it leads to stronger orgasms when they don’t have to hope ever second will be a cliff edge and turn into a panic attack. Safer waters are simply more comfortable for them to swim in, and they deem all sex as equal in ‘value.’ that being said, Andrew likes his ass being ate, as long as its just Neil’s tongue, while Neil is neutral on his ass being ate, but loves doing it to Andrew.

I also think they would explore toys, but not in the way they're often explored in fics, which is very vibrator and dildo centric. I think they would use jacking off toys, the disposable egg kind or some more long term ones, maybe even something they could use at the same time. I don’t see them ever actually using handcuffs or restraints really either. Andrew would see Neil tied up as an equivalent statement of ‘I don't trust you not to touch me’ when he wants to actively progress past that, and shows he trusts Neil by not holding his arms back or letting him touch him. Andrew had to hold down previous partners, but Neil is different, Neil listens. This isn’t my personal opinion about restraint, but it is what I think Andrew would think.

I have no idea if this is what you meant by ‘my thoughts’ but here they are. *puts something in your open palms,* idk what emoji that would be

[3xc3lsior]

Okayyyyyyy e4 Thots under cut

Sucks that Arthur didn’t come through for Tommy @the funeral. Would’ve been great redemption and character arc wise (tommy not trusting Arthur to speak at his wedding —-> asking him to speak for ruby) but it was a big ask I suppose. And Tommy wasn’t even mad about it! Learning forgiveness. the wine cellar scene was great

Now that I have decided the curses are Not Real™️, Tommy murking the gypsy camp was especially Bad. Like, watching through my fingers going “oh no no no no” bad. Perhaps not that Unexpected bc we knew he was fully going to lose his shit, but even still. Hard to watch. Same for the tumor thing, which I…. Will try to get into.

Again, why is everyone asking about Finn? And complaining about the song choices? Like there aren’t? Other things to focus on?

WHAT IS THIS GOOD YOU WILL BECOME??? Yes girl tell him!! Tell him and leave!

Tommy started smoking at NINE? I am truly shocked the tumor is what’s getting him and not Lung Cancer

Fucking lurveeee whatever is playing while the fascist parade pulls up

I just noticed there are maids in the background while Diana gives her lil devil speech. Bad day at work

Aside from Gina the women are wayyy better this season. Ada??? Threatening the nazis with the gun? Step on me

Stephen said the white horse means hope. If that equates to Lizzy sobbing onto one I do not think we have the same definition of the word

Let’s just assume ads lied about Freddie being Jewish to make a point to Karl bc otherwise??

I kinda like jack Nelson’s character tbh

I want tommy to redeem himself just for Lizzy’s sake at this point.

Lizzie just leaves when tommy asks her to. Wife material. Goddamn. Down ass bitch. Love u so fucking much mommy

Last thing:

Tommy needing people around him who love him very much is basically his living hell so. Do not want to watch that at all