#discourse made personal

[arillustrated]

thinking about mizu from blue eye samurai. thinking. thinking so much. thinking about how mizu operates outside of gender. like we joke about her gender being revenge but straight up? it literally is. like she grew up as a boy and is most comfortable being a man, but behind that is the feeling of betraying himself because he isn't being honest about who he is and he lives in fear of being discovered. and when he lived as a woman, she found joy there as well. she fell in love, and though she wasn't good at it, she liked being a wife and enjoying a simple life. but in that life too, she isn't being honest about who she is. and when she reveals her true self, it's not a woman, she's a demon, a weapon. she's to masculine to be a woman, and too feminine to be a man. ultimately, mizu is most comfortable when they are being a murder machine. that's when they feel they are being the most true to themself. like a sword, they are neither man nor woman, but a blend of both, which makes them stronger.

[butterflyslinky]

I keep seeing anti-Tommy people saying that his past as a bad person from the Begins episodes will be the hurdle he and Buck will face. That Buck will find out about what Tommy was like and be offended by it.

Except…Buck already knows about it? Tommy's pretty openly talked about not being a good person in the Gerrard era. Maybe he didn't tell Buck exactly what he said, but he probably doesn't remember because in-universe, that was fifteen to twenty years ago. He said the 118 was regressive, and that being under Gerrard did not make him a better person.

Hen and Chimney have also been pretty open about how shitty things were back then. Maybe they didn't name Tommy specifically, but Buck can make inferences based on them talking about how everyone was shitty and Tommy was part of everyone. This isn't some Deep Dark Secret Buck would be shocked by, it's information he had before meeting Tommy.

But okay, let's say somehow Buck had all three of the people who were there telling him Tommy was not a good person back then and somehow didn't realize what that meant. That doesn't change the fact that Tommy is clearly not that person anymore and that everyone's moved on from it. Chimney and Tommy are friends, and have been for close to two decades. Hen and Tommy don't seem to be super close, but they clearly have a level of professional respect for each other and she doesn't object to him hanging out with the group (Bobby Begins Again, the bachelor party.)

Like, if this is the big problem they face, what's supposed to happen? The story grinds to a halt while Tommy details every bad thing he's ever done and Buck processes it? Does Buck need to go see Hen and Chimney to get their blessing to date a guy they're both cool with and have been for years? Does Tommy need to do an apology tour to rehash everything and reopen all the old wounds for the benefit of the guy who wasn't involved in anything that happened back then? What purpose would that serve, either in the story or for the viewers? Honestly, if Buck made Tommy do that as a condition of continuing the relationship, I would not be rooting for Buck.

No, we didn't see Tommy give apologies in perfect therapy-speak or see the work he did on himself in the years between Begins episodes and the rest of the show. He's a minor supporting character who existed in Begins to show the growth and change of the LAFD as a whole, and who was bumped up to recurring minor character to be Buck's love interest. We're not going to spend entire episodes sitting in therapy with him, we're supposed to draw conclusions from the information given so the story can keep moving.

[ingravinoveritas]

Full three minute-long clip of David on the Reasons to be Cheerful podcast talking about Pride Month and gay/trans rights. Truly heart-wrenching to hear him get so genuinely emotional/choke up as he keeps going. Notable moments:

David: "When I was at school, calling somebody gay was like the worst thing you could be called in the playground, and now we celebrate it...[choking up] and it makes me a little bit emotional. That it just gives people a chance to be seen and celebrated and to be just--combating some of that snide nastiness that is...when Target have to...[trying not to cry] when Target in America have to take down their displays because people are so intolerant, I think we all need to put up our rainbow flags and we need to march and shout and--[crying] I didn't expect this to get me this emotional, I'll be honest with you, but--you just want your children to grow up in a world that is kind, and you want your children to be kind and you want your children to be accepted for whoever they are. Whatever they want to be. They should be allowed to be whoever they want to be." David: "When you look at it--when you take a step back and see how far we've come, it does give you hope. Because sometimes when you're right in the middle of day-to-day you think, 'Where are we going guys, come on?' Ed Miliband: "We were in the era of Section 28 and all that stuff. But it has to be fought for." David: "Yes, we can't take our foot off the gas, that's the thing. And we can't expect that we will always travel in the right direction toward acceptance. We've got to--we've all got to be fighting that fight every day."

[arcanegifs]

Just some things I wanna say:

You are always free to not like the work I do. You can hate the show’s characters, ships, and what nots. You can 100% disagree with the opinions I or other people have.

You are NOT allowed to send hate or send malicious intentions (such as being an asshole and spoiling me S2) on my inbox. Harassment is never okay.

To prevent more potential harassment, I’m just closing my inbox and replies indefinitely.

No, I will not post the users, since I think it’s just me that these people have been hating on.

I’ve blocked them, and they’ve blocked me (but for some reason, apparently, love to use my gifs lol) and if no more harassment happens, I’m all good.

No witch-hunting people. I don’t like seeing people fight over silly things. Again, harassment in any form is never okay. Blocking and moving on is the best option.

Thankful for supportive friends who have been with me the entire time. Ily guys <3

With that, I don’t wanna talk about this anymore. Just gonna focus on S2, which is coming next month 💙

[giallos]

personally i saw chim's comments to gerrard as him sticking up for the 118 past and present, including both buck and tommy as well as hen, but primarily for himself ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[daisy-mooon]

A reminder that some of you guys only use LGBT activism to shit on religious people and do exactly no activism whatsoever if you can't use it to be anti-theist. Some of you will have no problems harassing and being racist and homophobic to queer people if they're religious.

[stardustbuck]

“it’s bucktommys who are the toxic ones and ruining the fandom”

is that so? oh look at these.

or maybe these on tiktok

or perhaps comments left under lou’s own posts?

oh maybe these comments under a completely non-911 related tweet from an account that just posts mlm gifs? (btw, they posted a bwdd!e gif right after...I wonder why)

if you want to try and turn the mass hate behavior onto us, at least bring receipts.

and btw, your lord and savior Oliver Stark does NOT fuck with you.

[the-amber-raven]

I would never delete my fics

I got linked to a reddit thread today where people were being advised to download my mortifying ordeals/Buddie fics, since apparently "now that I'm a BuckTommy shipper", I might be "petty" and delete all my Buddie fics.

So. I'll move past the complicated feelings it gives me to have people hoarding my fics while actively shitting on me as a person (and seemingly not even telling me that they enjoyed my work, although in fairness that could just be a difference in usernames.) That's the nature of fanfic, fandom, and putting things out there on the internet and I accept that.

But I do want to reassure people that I would never delete my fics. I still have the cringy-as-fuck Harry Potter fics I wrote in high school up; believe me those would be first on the chopping block if I was inclined to delete my work. And all of my 9-1-1 fics hold a special place in my heart, but none more than the mortifying ordeals series, which consumed basically a full year of my life and reminded me why I love writing. Hell, I got engaged while writing the final chapters of I once was lost. That fic is indelibly tied to my life now.

And look... I don't think it really matters, nor should I have to explain and justify what I do and don't enjoy about a show or fandom, but this whole experience has upset me more than it probably should have and I can't help but want to get it off my chest anyway.

My favourite thing about this show is the found family feels. I either love or am at least intrigued by every single character that has appeared. You'll notice that family is the central theme of every story I write, whether the story is Gen, Buddie, or BuckTommy.

Because yes, the idea of BuckTommy and how that plays into the family themes of the show has intrigued me and captured my muse.

I've also said before that I didn't think Season 7 left Buddie in a great place in terms of romantic relationship potential - in my opinion, the ghost of Shannon would be an absolutely massive barrier to them getting together right now. The post season 7 Buddie fics have also heavily featured character bashing, which isn't something I generally enjoy seeing, and infidelity, which I really don't like seeing romanticised especially since I've had a partner cheat on me.

So yes, I've distanced myself from the post-S7 Buddie fandom because I just don't enjoy the pervasive negativity I've seen and the way that cheating and violence is suddenly celebrated by a significant subset of the fandom.

That does not mean I've given up on Buddie altogether. I still have a whole list of pre-S7 buddie fics in my to-be-read list that I've been making my way through and 2 out of my 5 WIPs are Buddie fics (both in the mortifying ordeals 'verse, just to make it even clearer that I'm not at all interested in deleting that series.)

But two of those 5 are BuckTommy, because as I said above, their relationship was intriguing to me and it captured my muse.

I don't think those opinions make me some kind of betrayer, or that they inherently make me a "petty" person but I guess I just didn't realise that not-exclusively-shipping-Buddie was such a High Crime in this fandom.

[gracerings]

I sometimes feel that this endless discussion about what is and what isn't 'good queer rep' is poisoning art. just let art breathe, let queer stories exist, even if you don't like them or they don’t represent you personally. queer media undergoes so much unnecessary scrutiny because there’s this distorted perception that every piece of queer fiction ever put into the world needs to represent every queer person. and that’s not only impossible, but also unfair to the creators and the story itself. it’s okay to just not vibe with a piece of queer media, but please consider that it may be a matter of personal taste and preference, rather than an objective flaw in the portrayal of the community

[myopicry]

sometimes I think so much of "queer" discourse surrounds semantics and identity labels because people engaging in these spaces legitimately do not live life outside of the internet. I don't just mean they don't go outside or talk to real people, but the way they interact with real people is never truly free from the internet. I think this is just sort of how gen z are now unfortunately, so much of our lives are consumed by handheld devices and social media platforms, but I find it way more prevalent in artsy, liberal, tra-positive communities. (the amount of times I just hear people straight up quote popular tumblr posts or tiktok trends...)

and surrounding yourself in real life with people who frequent the same internet circles as you and thus hold the same beliefs is a great way to not end up experiencing anything actually real, and thus you never really learn anything from your life experiences or from other perspectives, much less experiences of relationships or sex or romance. leading to people caring way too much about words and perception with things like pronouns or microlabels or "validity." everything is about optics and holding the "correct" opinions because that's the state of the internet these days! of course they'd ignore the actual material aspects of oppression, what is the internet if not a breeding ground for consumerist distraction from dealing with the various staggering issues in society?

"touch grass" isn't even a good enough solution anymore. can you partake in any hobby without thinking of how other people would percieve it? can you have a conversation without parroting the words of a tiktok post? can you seek love and relationships without obscuring it in layers of branding? can you understand yourself, truly understand who you are, without obsessing over how it looks on a screen?

[liesmyth]

would you be able to give examples/explain more about how race only impacts gideon in the tlt-universe? not being facetious or condescending, genuinely asking. thank you!

Hi anon! If you mean my tags to this post, I wrote

#earth conception of race doesn't impact any character in the series except the canonically brown main antagonist

By which I mean my Worstie and main antagonist of the series, John Gaius (PhD).

I don’t think TLT as a series engages with race in any especially meaningful ways. It’s set in a post-Earth society with entirely different social norms, and there’s no concept of race and ethnicity within the population of the Nine Houses. Physical descriptions of the characters are scarce to say the least, and they rarely spell out the kind of features that suggest specific racial connotations, because the POV characters don’t seem to think it’s something worth remarking upon. iirc, it takes until halfway through HtN for the narrative to confirm that Harrow has brown skin.

[See also Tamsyn’s GtN characters description post. It quotes passages from the book, and you can see how minimal the descriptions are, and she repeats several times that her characters’ appearances are up to the readers’ interpretations. It just doesn’t seem to be a big concern of hers]

Then there’s John, who grew up in twenty-first-century New Zealand and IS explicitly Māori in a way that absolutely impacted his character arc. It's not A major theme of his Nona chapters, but it’s there if you read between the lines. The boarding school he went to, which IRL had a high percentage of low-income Māori students on scholarship. The depth of his climate anxiety, his uncompromising “Nobody left behind” stance before the cryo project was halted, and his fervent hatred of ‘the trillionaires’ afterwards... these are all informed to some extent by his background as an indigenous man imo, and so was the global reaction to his developing powers. The “We were going to put you fellas in jail, weren’t we?” the way his initial attempts at publications are all flat-out ignored by the scientific community and dismissed as culty gimmicky faith healing until he leans into it.

John being Māori is just one of the many pieces of his backstory, and far from the most impactful to what eventually went down, but my point remains that he is the ONLY character in TLT whose racial background 1) affects his story arc and 2) is relatable to the audience. Everyone else is ten thousand years removed from Earth, and I’m just not very interested in using racial identifiers when exploring these characters and their dynamics, because the characters themselves don’t care and neither does the narrative.

[myfandomrealitea]

We actually are in the era where we're so offended by everything we're getting offended on other peoples' behalf and telling them that they're wrong if they're not personally offended by something.

[latexjester]

pls rb for a wider range of responses!! im curious to see the results.

[butwhatifidothis]

This (almost) week on "Raxis screencapping people who've blocked him who he says he totally wants nothing to with," here he is not only not censoring my name yet again, he has also left a completely unrelated other person's name uncensored.

(censoring done on my end)

Which, two things:

I was talking about the fandom, not the game, so nice going there with the media literacy you claim you have oodles of.

Is that a sockpuppet

Like that blue1lion6stan account. With the default pfp? That, after a bit of digging, has only been around since... May of this year? So, barely five months? And it has like.. two reblogs and four likes? In the span of, again, five months at the minimum?

Did like. Did Raxis accidentally out one of his sockpuppets

[vicsy]

people out there are saying “oh nobody is willing to post fics anymore” etc etc while that is exactly because of some motherfuckers out there who deliberately take fandom stuff OUT OF fandom spaces and put it to fucking toxic cesspool twitter is. locking your fics doesn’t work since some registered users with zero fandom culture, zero basic understanding of how rpf works (an already precarious topic) and zero functioning brain cells make screenshots of fics off of AO3 and put them where everyone can see, especially people involved. all of this on top of AI scraping fics and people plagiarizing works left and right. yet those same motherfuckers ask for more content, mind you, since the same fic authors they put on a spot are just faceless content machines. apparently. absolutely sickening to see this happening more and more. you want to alienate fic authors you claim to love and cherish so much? keep up the good work, ignore people asking you to delete the fucking tweets. sure, that’ll make it all better. im so mad.

[leavemebetosleep]

damn John de Lancie has a really fucking cool Discord statue