#maybe ill delete this

[pastadoughie]

Made in Aseprite (i was tired) || 10-21-2024

[bananaink]

Well, I'm alive :'D And I drew a silly little fake-cover for a fake-DLC for Cult of the lamb. Because I'm obsessed with the game, obsessed with arcane and find myself just smushing two things I love together until they look cool :D At the beginning, I only wanted to draw Viktor as a little critter-follower next to the lamb but that wildly escalated into all of this :D Happy new year everyone

[the-amber-raven]

I would never delete my fics

I got linked to a reddit thread today where people were being advised to download my mortifying ordeals/Buddie fics, since apparently "now that I'm a BuckTommy shipper", I might be "petty" and delete all my Buddie fics.

So. I'll move past the complicated feelings it gives me to have people hoarding my fics while actively shitting on me as a person (and seemingly not even telling me that they enjoyed my work, although in fairness that could just be a difference in usernames.) That's the nature of fanfic, fandom, and putting things out there on the internet and I accept that.

But I do want to reassure people that I would never delete my fics. I still have the cringy-as-fuck Harry Potter fics I wrote in high school up; believe me those would be first on the chopping block if I was inclined to delete my work. And all of my 9-1-1 fics hold a special place in my heart, but none more than the mortifying ordeals series, which consumed basically a full year of my life and reminded me why I love writing. Hell, I got engaged while writing the final chapters of I once was lost. That fic is indelibly tied to my life now.

And look... I don't think it really matters, nor should I have to explain and justify what I do and don't enjoy about a show or fandom, but this whole experience has upset me more than it probably should have and I can't help but want to get it off my chest anyway.

My favourite thing about this show is the found family feels. I either love or am at least intrigued by every single character that has appeared. You'll notice that family is the central theme of every story I write, whether the story is Gen, Buddie, or BuckTommy.

Because yes, the idea of BuckTommy and how that plays into the family themes of the show has intrigued me and captured my muse.

I've also said before that I didn't think Season 7 left Buddie in a great place in terms of romantic relationship potential - in my opinion, the ghost of Shannon would be an absolutely massive barrier to them getting together right now. The post season 7 Buddie fics have also heavily featured character bashing, which isn't something I generally enjoy seeing, and infidelity, which I really don't like seeing romanticised especially since I've had a partner cheat on me.

So yes, I've distanced myself from the post-S7 Buddie fandom because I just don't enjoy the pervasive negativity I've seen and the way that cheating and violence is suddenly celebrated by a significant subset of the fandom.

That does not mean I've given up on Buddie altogether. I still have a whole list of pre-S7 buddie fics in my to-be-read list that I've been making my way through and 2 out of my 5 WIPs are Buddie fics (both in the mortifying ordeals 'verse, just to make it even clearer that I'm not at all interested in deleting that series.)

But two of those 5 are BuckTommy, because as I said above, their relationship was intriguing to me and it captured my muse.

I don't think those opinions make me some kind of betrayer, or that they inherently make me a "petty" person but I guess I just didn't realise that not-exclusively-shipping-Buddie was such a High Crime in this fandom.

[clariis]

Quick doodle of Michael with the glasses.

[kisses-in-the-void]

***

The way I see some people talk about Mairon (the fans of a certain m/f ship, though I'm not saying that all of them are like that) reminds me of my time in reylo fandom — and it makes me side-eye my past self for unironically thinking that "Kylo did nothing wrong".

I'm not comparing these two characters, and I don’t even think Kylo is as bad as Mairon — he has more redeemable qualities, and it’s canon that he was groomed, abused and manipulated into falling to the dark side (yk, unlike Mairon). But I do understand that urge to forgive a villain for everything he did just because you ship him with a kind, compassionate heroine and want him to be worthy of her. You end up ignoring or justifying all his actions, bending over backwards to excuse all his crimes, because otherwise, your OTP doesn’t work, and they wouldn't kiss in canon (with Sauron, it's "ROP" canon, because obviously, it didn't happen in the text).

It doesn’t make you the most "objective" fan — no matter how well you know the source material — if you’re incapable of analyzing your favourite character without your shipping goggles on.

[opentanie]

'This is why Harry Potter su-" omfg SHUT UP!!! If you didn't think the books suck, you'd be okay with trans women being stripped of their laws?

[janop1]

sorry im gonna talk abt roblox but its interesting to me that a large amount of Regretevator’s cast uses multiple sets of pronouns and several of them even use neopronouns. maybe the bar is rly low for me idk but it feels refreshing to have such a diversified group of characters even if its just a roblox game

[aalesu]

Just heard about some stuff happening in the US and since the only thing I think about is fanfiction and Dr Stone I think someone should make a fic where Stanley is trans and has trouble cus he's in the military yk?

I had never wanted to read a fic where Stanley is trans because I just like to think of him as a cis dude but omg I would just love reading a fic about that 😭 (I wouldn't feel right making it myself since I don't understand that much about the United States)

[inthewordsofaspiderlily]

[October 2, 2020, 18 years old]

there is days where everything around me stops making sense

the order of things gets all messed up

but perhaps that’s cuz nothing makes sense in the first place

but my mind isn’t much better

the opposite

i think that maybe im the one who makes no sense

maybe the way i view the world is the problem

it’s easy to blame the world for the reasons as to why i don’t want to live in it

but at one point i gotta stop blaming everyone else

i realize that the reason my life is like this is because of my choices

then it becomes easy to take the blame

to accept that i do this to myself

maybe that’s the problem

i feel the need to feel pain

i think this is what i deserve

it would be much easier if anyone else could help

if anyone would reach out and try to understand

but when they do i shut down

no matter how hard they try they never understand

understand what goes on in my mind

i try to explain myself but how can i tell you why im this way if i don’t know

even if you ask what’s wrong i can’t tell you if i don’t know

[tealares]

i miss them so much its going to be too long until i can see them again. that meetup was the best moment in my entire life. i was made to be with them. i miss his heartbeat and hair and i miss her lips and her laugh i miss their everything i miss their breaths i miss staring at them be alive, be there, right next to me. i miss the affection and feeling so right around them. one day we're going to live together and everything's going to be okay but i hope it's sooner rather than later. I can't wait to hold their hands again

[lazylittledragon]

so uhhhhhhhh. not to be cryptic and bitchy on main but congratulations to everyone in my messages for like 5 months on being right i guess

[funkle420]

no talk me i angy cant stop thinking about my girlfriend who's been kidnapped by a crazy powerful ancient magician

[dreamyblanket]

Because i have a coupple asks for him, here's a little redesign for pre corruption sm!

there were some minor things I didn't like about his design so I changed them! It may change in the future but for now I'm happy with this //^^//

[clariis]

[athenaeum-of-the-herald]

Truly I am becoming so sick of people treating my religion like a fun quirky irl Percy Jackson. (I've ALWAYS been sick of it but oh my gods)

This is a REAL AND ANCIENT RELIGION. These are GODS. Not your silly best friends that are just constantly chilling around you. The lack of respect towards their divinity and weird mortalization of them I've seen in some spaces (not as much on Tumblr but tiktok and SEVERAL discord servers I'm in) is so uncomfortable and angering.

The prevalence of "deity identification spreads" as if they're trying to figure out their godly parent in PJO, the constant "what god is reaching out to me?" questions I see from beginners who barely even KNOW hellenic polytheism, and the constant treatment of the Theoi as fun friends that just sit around on altars at someone's every beck and call. It's so upsetting? It's so uncomfortable?

Yes, the gods love us. Of course, they care for us. But where is the respect? Where is your kharis? How can they love you when they don't even know you? And how can you claim to love Them when you hardly know Them?

You MUST research in this religion. There are no cutting corners. You must must MUST learn. Because without understanding how sacred the practices are and their significance of them to their time and who these gods truly were, you run DANGEROUSLY close to religious and cultural appropriation.

[jessewhitmoreart]

Wyll