#maybe ill delete this

[the-amber-raven]

I would never delete my fics

I got linked to a reddit thread today where people were being advised to download my mortifying ordeals/Buddie fics, since apparently "now that I'm a BuckTommy shipper", I might be "petty" and delete all my Buddie fics.

So. I'll move past the complicated feelings it gives me to have people hoarding my fics while actively shitting on me as a person (and seemingly not even telling me that they enjoyed my work, although in fairness that could just be a difference in usernames.) That's the nature of fanfic, fandom, and putting things out there on the internet and I accept that.

But I do want to reassure people that I would never delete my fics. I still have the cringy-as-fuck Harry Potter fics I wrote in high school up; believe me those would be first on the chopping block if I was inclined to delete my work. And all of my 9-1-1 fics hold a special place in my heart, but none more than the mortifying ordeals series, which consumed basically a full year of my life and reminded me why I love writing. Hell, I got engaged while writing the final chapters of I once was lost. That fic is indelibly tied to my life now.

And look... I don't think it really matters, nor should I have to explain and justify what I do and don't enjoy about a show or fandom, but this whole experience has upset me more than it probably should have and I can't help but want to get it off my chest anyway.

My favourite thing about this show is the found family feels. I either love or am at least intrigued by every single character that has appeared. You'll notice that family is the central theme of every story I write, whether the story is Gen, Buddie, or BuckTommy.

Because yes, the idea of BuckTommy and how that plays into the family themes of the show has intrigued me and captured my muse.

I've also said before that I didn't think Season 7 left Buddie in a great place in terms of romantic relationship potential - in my opinion, the ghost of Shannon would be an absolutely massive barrier to them getting together right now. The post season 7 Buddie fics have also heavily featured character bashing, which isn't something I generally enjoy seeing, and infidelity, which I really don't like seeing romanticised especially since I've had a partner cheat on me.

So yes, I've distanced myself from the post-S7 Buddie fandom because I just don't enjoy the pervasive negativity I've seen and the way that cheating and violence is suddenly celebrated by a significant subset of the fandom.

That does not mean I've given up on Buddie altogether. I still have a whole list of pre-S7 buddie fics in my to-be-read list that I've been making my way through and 2 out of my 5 WIPs are Buddie fics (both in the mortifying ordeals 'verse, just to make it even clearer that I'm not at all interested in deleting that series.)

But two of those 5 are BuckTommy, because as I said above, their relationship was intriguing to me and it captured my muse.

I don't think those opinions make me some kind of betrayer, or that they inherently make me a "petty" person but I guess I just didn't realise that not-exclusively-shipping-Buddie was such a High Crime in this fandom.

[alex-arts-stuff]

Quick doodle of Michael with the glasses.

[blanket-hugger]

as the iof is continuing its campaign of extermination, i have trouble understanding how life can go on here, in the belly of the beast. but i keep thinking about the attitudes of adults around me about world war 2 and geopolitics when i was growing up in the 2000s in sort of nowhere on the continent.

that teacher that took upon herself to educate us about the shoah among other things. she very much leaned into the center-left mainstream takes of the time (rosy view of the resistance, little talk of collaborators, communism, the eastern front, no talk whatsoever of colonialism, etc (i may one day recover my memories related to the genre of shoah movies and have a rant)) - a mixed bag overall but she tried. even with that i feel we should have a deep seething hatred of nazis, their enablers and anyone enacting the same policies instilled in the popular culture, but here we are.

i remember my father, who has been voting center-right and has tried to play (unsuccessfully) stocks, yet he would (often?) ramble to me about resource extraction in neocolonies and how they're kept down by debt.

he told me he did not know what he would have done during the war. "i may not have joined any resistance you know. hell i might have caved under the pressure and collaborated". i am grateful for the honesty i suppose. it worrying, also for him. (that's certainly not the only fucked-up thing he might say; guess he only sees himself working as part of the nuclear family in a big bad world and that fucked him up)

a couple holidays i was dragged to in maghreb thanks. without even a keen awareness of the horrible colonial history, you can guess something is fucked up when we see what us middle-class fucks can afford and general interactions with the locals. it made me deeply hate tourism (i have let go enough of that not to be an asshole when my friends want to visit the local church) (ngl, i also resented being dragged around when i did not want to, it was not solely disgust at colonialism.)

"we won't go to algeria there is too much terrorism". I remember hearing for the first time "algeria war" being said by someone irl when i was 16 by an airforce veteran - he defo was ashamed of that part of his past. beforehand i would only hear of "the algeria events"

many years later, hearing my PhD advisor tell a colleague that you can always stir up the most reactionary shit from someone by just suggesting something of theirs is going to be taken away. No matter how minuscule, no matter justice. (ww2 and palestine were also things he thought about a lot back then. seeing bus drivers bragging about their guns in tel-aviv)

it probably tracks that the 50 shades of "fuck you got mine", a measure of in-group identification and our material interests leads to the asinine stances of those who claim to be progressive but follow the "apolitical" or the "liberal" line on settler-colonialism (or immigration, or ....).

EVEN THEN. anyone can see the current level of atrocities. committed by humans. the flimsy propaganda and lies, for so many years. i dont see how these ppl can't feel the hurt of directly participating in structures that support this

[tealares]

i miss them so much its going to be too long until i can see them again. that meetup was the best moment in my entire life. i was made to be with them. i miss his heartbeat and hair and i miss her lips and her laugh i miss their everything i miss their breaths i miss staring at them be alive, be there, right next to me. i miss the affection and feeling so right around them. one day we're going to live together and everything's going to be okay but i hope it's sooner rather than later. I can't wait to hold their hands again

[funkle420]

no talk me i angy cant stop thinking about my girlfriend who's been kidnapped by a crazy powerful ancient magician

[jessewhitmoreart]

Wyll

[pmpwbrrs]

There are so many AUs where Artificer's blue slugpup is taken by scavengers and raised by them . When will there be an AU where th GREEN slugpup s taken away by leeches and raised by them, huh?

[boringwomanwithabook]

more weird ass angles from your least favorite girl

[starrypawu]

purple with wings!

(+ green preening purp's wings below the cut, not finished tho)

bro green u cant just grab someone else's wing like that !!

(update: i did finish this little preening comic u can find the finished version on my blog:3 )

[ryssbelle]

Inspired by these comics by @zivazivc and this comic by @chongotheartist

This has been chilling in my mind since I first saw ZivaZivcs comic and I finally got the energy to make it XD

[tinyperson00]

notes game because I can

!!Deadline is December 1st!!

rules:

no spamming!

5 notes per person total

any extra notes will result in a 1 day deduction to the deadline

please do not write meaningless letting or numbers in the comments

10 notes: I'll do my laundry more often

30 notes: I'll take care of my hair and face better

50 notes: I'll take showers more often

75 notes: I'll eat more often

100 notes: I'll stop purposely ignoring my iron pills in the morning

130 notes: I'll get out more often

150 notes: I'll stop my occasional very minor sh

175 notes: I'll stop neglecting myself and others around me

200 notes: I'll set an alarm to remember to eat lunch and other snacks throughout the day

250 notes: I'll stop procrastinating my work

300 notes: I'll find a way (hopefully) to get rid of my chronic year long insomnia

350 notes: I'll stop being so reserved and secretive around my family and friends

400 notes: I'll stop jumping from high things like bringing and trees

500 notes: I'll fix my bad habits

600 notes: I'll start socializing with people

700 notes: I'll seek help about my depression

800 notes: I'll start trying to get along better with the people in my life

900 notes: I'll (try) to cut ties with some toxic people in my life (not talking about any tumblr mutuals or you ace, don't you even dare think that D:<)

1000 notes: I will stop trying to kms at any given chance

[absolutechaosss]

Do you ever go insane thinking about how every member of Laios' party is extremely atypical for their species, but a lack of exposure and understanding smoothes out these differences and makes everyone think they're the "typical" representation.

Senshi is terrible with other dwarves since he has no practical interest in mining or weapons craft. We cannot know this until Namari and later, Senshi's backstory are introduced. When we see him interact with dwarves, it's awkward and clear there's a fundamental disconnect.

Chilchuck is incredibly tall for a half foot and as such has to manage his weight more than other half foot dungeoneers so he doesnt set off traps. The first detail takes the changlings to properly understand, the second is referenced in text but is fully explained in additional materials. It is plot relevant that people who don't have the exposure to half foots might not even realize they're their own species.

Marcille as a half elf is kind of obvious to many of the elves who encounter her and they're deeply cruel and assume she's driven by a desire to be able to have children but the party never notices and Senshi especially thinks of her as a typical elf even though in truth she's so outcast she could never dine with her mother at the queens table.

Laios and Falin are a bit more complicated, since we as the audience do have context for most of tallman culture, since it mirrors our own mostly, but both of them have magical aptitude that both people like Marcille, who has a lot of access to mana and people like Chilchuck, who has very little and no magical training, fail to understand how isolating it is to have that much potential and aptitude.

Arguably Toshiro and Namari fall into this as well. Toshiro looks like the embodiment of the silent but noble warrior, but his own party and extra material confirm that he's abnormally shy and introverted, something that makes it hard for him even in his own family. Meanwhile Namari is able to stand on her own as a weapons expert and "typical" dwarf, but total dwarves who are total strangers like Dya know who she is and resent her.

Arguably a lot of dungeon meshi is about peeling back layers and assumptions not working out, but it's so great that every member of the core party gets interpreted by others (and maybe the reader) as "typical", especially with the skills line up, as a human fighter, halfling rogue, and an elven mage are so basic a stereotype. But none of are able to achieve that standard. These assumptions and misunderstandings only thrive because each party member is so inexperienced with both the biology and culture of the others. The only way they gain context is either interacting with a wider pool of people or experiencing it for themself. Everything in this story is so layered and I love it.

[kyoukoswife]

you ever think abt what if you gave a girl your whole life but she didnt even want it? you gave her your life to protect her and she threw you away?? what if even after that you still took care of her the best you could???? and then when you next see her shes not even her???? because you gave her your whole life to save her but you couldnt protect her?????? wouldnt that fuck you up?????? wouldnt that be so painful????????? you ever think about that?????

look at the full size image for better quality:>

[drarw]

mouthwashing has really gotten aholda me

[astericias]

few doodles from the past two weeks. happy valentines or something....

[zevrans-remade]

🐱🐱🐱