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— December 18, 1913 / Franz Kafka diaries

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^ me anticipating season 5

^ also me watching season 5 (probably)

rb if season 5 will end you

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“Now compared to these wanderers [Socrates, Buddha, etc.] the life of Jesus went as swift and straight as a thunderbolt. It was above all things dramatic; it did above all things consist in doing something that had to be done. It emphatically would not have been done, if Jesus had walked about the world for ever doing nothing except tell the truth. And even the external movement of it must not be described as a wandering in the sense of forgetting that it was a journey. This is where it was a fulfilment of the myths rather than of the philosophies; it is a journey with a goal and an object, like Jason going to find the Golden Fleece, or Hercules the golden apples of the Hesperides. The gold that he was seeking was death. The primary thing that he was going to do was to die. He was going to do other things equally definite and objective; we might almost say equally external and material. But from first to last the most definite fact is that he is going to die. No two things could possibly be more different than the death of Socrates and the death of Christ. We are meant to feel that the death of Socrates was, from the point of view of his friends at least, a stupid muddle and miscarriage of justice interfering with the flow of a humane and lucid, I had almost said a light philosophy. We are meant to feel that Death was the bride of Christ as Poverty was the bride of St. Francis. We are meant to feel that his life was in that sense a sort of love-affair with death, a romance of the pursuit of the ultimate sacrifice. From the moment when the star goes up like a birthday rocket to the moment when the sun is extinguished like a funeral torch, the whole story moves on wings with the speed and direction of a drama, ending in an act beyond words.”

–G.K. Chesterton, The Everlasting Man, “The Strangest Story in the World”

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They're kind of awful here and I love them

s4 james and john are truly unhinged. they see their buddy get promoted and given a cool little new name and go well that's just because he answered the question first. we totally knew that too. it was a test actually

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THE CHOSEN S01E03 — Jesus Loves the Little Children Jonathan Roumie as Jesus of Nazareth

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THE CHOSEN S01E03 — Jesus Loves the Little Children Jonathan Roumie as Jesus of Nazareth

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THE CHOSEN S01E03 — Jesus Loves the Little Children Jonathan Roumie as Jesus of Nazareth

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Going on a limb here - I've been thinking about Jesus ships (romantic or quasi-romantic) and my views on them.

I'm gonna discuss a few and rank them as follows: Love it | Makes sense | Mmm not much there for me | Absolutely not

If there's a ship you know that I don't mention below the cut, DM me for my opinion and ranking!

Let's start with the big ones, then a few fictional ones of questionable (or nonexistent) notoriety:

Jesus x Mary Magdalene: Mmm not much there for me

I'm gun-shy about this ship because it gets pushed a lot, including by scholars, as a way to explain why Jesus would have a prominent female disciple. First of all, she was not his only female disciple - what about Joanna and Suzanna? Mary and Martha? (ok Joanna was married to Chuza so we'll let that slide).

Yes, Mary got to see Jesus first after the resurrection (according to John's gospel), which is awesome. But nothing about that encounter suggests a romantic connection, and I don't think a romantic connection would make it more meaningful. The whole point of Jesus appearing to Mary, or any woman, was to honor what society considered lowly. A woman's testimony was not valid in that time and place, yet Jesus made his resurrection evident to women first. I like when non-canonical stories explore Jesus and Mary's friendship, but a romantic connection undermines the significance of Mary's role rather than augments it.

Jesus x Judas: Absolutely not

I wouldn't be quite so annoyed about it if it weren't so dang prolific in fandom (among people who treat Jesus and his followers as characters more than real people). It's even more annoying when people try to pass it off as wholesome - y'know, apart from that little bit of betrayal for money thing. NO. At least own up that it's a tragic dynamic. Trying to whitewash it for the sake of a cute ship leaves me feeling even ickier.

Jesus x John: Makes sense

I don't consider it canon, but I'll take it over Jesus x Judas and Jesus x Mary Magdalene for a few reasons. It actually IS wholesome, and a romantic element fits with the "beloved disciple" narrative more believably (for me). I have a problem with the power imbalance (teacher-student) and subsequent age difference (30s vs. teens), but if fic frames acknowledges these elements and characters act appropriately (and in character), I'm fairly ok.

Jesus x Ana (The Book of Longings): Makes sense

Obviously the story is written with the intention of making Ana the wife of Jesus. I have some issues with the book and the relationship, but Sue Monk Kidd makes it fairly believable as an unconventional marriage of the era. I think Ana's story could have been told without her being Jesus's wife. At the same time, her relationship with Jesus develops in an interesting and engaging way. You don't necessarily think they are "in love" when they marry, but they acknowledge that they could be good for each other (and are attracted to each other), and it gives her a means of escaping a difficult situation at home.

Jesus x Tamara (Three from Galilee): Absolutely not

This relationship could have been ok were it not for some VERY weird choices made by the author, Marjorie Holmes. Significant age gap (30 vs. 15) and smacks of insta-love. They knew each other one day before deciding they were in love (after he first saw her standing under a waterfall ... yeah). Too many comparisons between Tamara and Mother Mary for me to be comfortable. Pretty much no personality from Tamara, all about how Jesus thinks he's found someone to have a "normal" life with, only to have that shut down. It's supposed to be tragic that they don't end up together, but honestly they dodged a bullet.

Jesus x Lucifer: ABSOLUTELY NOT

Yes, this ship exists. No, I don't know why. Ok, I can kinda imagine why. And I don't like it.

Jesus x Hel: Love it

I know ... I'm literally the only person who ships this.

For those who don't know, Hel is the Norse goddess of the dead. I'm writing a whole story that's a remix of the Harrowing of Hell (not denying the original Harrowing but expanding it with, "What if Jesus went to other underworlds besides Sheol, too?"). Obviously it depends on the interpretation of Hel's character - being a mythological figure, she has flexibility. Also it HAS to be slow-burn, enemies-to-lovers (for me). Would recommend to those intrigued by Jesus x Lucifer but want a healthy, not entirely heretical dynamic.

(Ok we can debate the heretical part.)

What other Jesus ships do you know?

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Me: Everyone is entitled to their opinions and can not like the things I like.

Someone: [calls my fave boring]

Me:

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Beautiful October. Värmland, Sweden (October 14, 2017).

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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away. - George Eliot

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Mary: And then Rabbi Benjamin said to Him, "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! How could you do this to your family?!"

(Lazarus interrupts to bring some food to Mary)

Mary: Where was I?

Luke: (reading from his notes) "Oh my God, oh my God, how could you do this to your family?"

Lazarus: Boy, it really loses something in the Gentile translation.

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James: Eema, do I smell fresh raisins and cinnamon cakes?

Salome: No.

James: Could I?

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Judas: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment?

Judas: At all?

Hadad: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

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Quintus: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven!

Atticus: I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction.

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Thaddeus: I was 17 once, too. I snuck out all the time. Of course, I didn't have a girlfriend. I just wanted to eat bacon.

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Any time someone tries to sound clever by proposing theologies or writing stories where God as understood by Christianity turns out to be "both God and Satan" or "actually kind of evil the whole time," I think about how Red from OSP gets frustrated when people think they're being smart and edgy when they reimagine Superman as evil.

You're missing the point.

The fact that, in Abrahamic religions, there is one God who is also all-good defies the "trope" (if you'll allow the word in a religious context) that most religions follow: either there are no all-good gods, or they're just one of many deities of varying moral make-up. God's beneficence in the context of a lot of terrifying things He's done (flood the world, destroy cities, urge the Israelites to fight other people and squelch their religions) complicates the question of what "holiness" means. God's all-goodness enriches the theological narrative more than saying "He's good and evil" ever would.