#you wanna make him gay- fine- death of the author

[eyes-in-the-void]

Adding this because I keep seeing people accusing Linke of being homophobic and spiting the ship when that’s not what he said at all. Saying it’s a misinterpretation of the interview is giving them too much credit.

ACE VIKTOR IS CANON ⚠️⚠️THIS IS NOT A DRILL⚠️⚠️ VIKTOR IS AN ACE ICON CONFIRMED!!!!!!!

Link to the post

[papuhater]

Gotham Jervis getting male friend that he really get along well. After some time they both starts to mutually grow feelings and it's surprisly friend who makes first move.

"Jervis, I know that you're looking for Alice and me being guy automatically exclude me but I need to tell you... I really, REALLY like. Just, wanted you to know."

And please don't leave on cliffhanger, I might actually strangle you-

Boyfriend or boy who is a friend

pariring: gotham!jervis tetch x male!reader

a/n: the title's a joke due to the fact that i'm questioning if i'm bisexual leaning torwards women or a lesbian

summary: jervis gets a male friend and he gets the gay sickness (the author has it too and is planning to ask her girl-friend out ), and he has homophobia( not sm but internalized but he yells at the reader some shit) but it gets resolved

=) ok this man? he has never had anything romantic.

=) i just know it.

=) and you? you are his "collegue" in the life of crime, just a pawn to get alice,

=) why is he caring about you?

=) maybe it's that you don't betray him, maybe that you actually show care for him, or maybe you're his friend.

=) it's weird at first, but not used to hanging out or stuff agter heists, he is used to people leaving after getting what they wanted.

=) familiarity hits, and well, he stops thinking it too much, and just enjoying spending time with you, tea time, rhymes! and just sitting rambling. i feel he really like rambling about many things

=) and you would just stare at him with all the attention in the world, starry-eyed.

=) the jokes during heists began occurring more frequently, in one heist you almost died but he hypnotized the person behind the gun, he didn't even have to think about it, it was just jervis' instinct to protect you, suddenly, when you began your teasing about how he saved you so quickly, he just laughed it off and responded with a

"okay fine, i actually have some care for you."

'loosing you scared me to death.' he wanted to scream

=) jervis is confused.

=) suddenly small hugs that felt normal continued to feel normal but the warm rise in his cheeks became evident and he was confused and scared.

=) his mind began wondering if his alice could be you?

=) it could be you, but wouldn't it ruin your friendship?

=) he seemed lost in his thoughts, during tea time, you noticed that, and you asked if anything was wrong, and he just seemed more jumpy that his usual "paranoid" persona.

"No, uh, I'm fine."

"Dammit jervis, you aren't 'fine' you have been acting all weird, and not talking about it, you know you can talk to me if you want to."

and you reached to his shoulder, but he didn't know that , your hand got closer to him and he thought you were going to grab his hand and he quickly pulled his whole body off

"NO!" you flinched at the sound

"What's your problem?" you spat out

"Why were you going to touch my hand?"

"No! Jervis, jeez what's happening?"

"I dont know!" he threw his hands up "I'm not sure, you suddenly seem different every time I look at you! I feel confused about you! complexed!"

"why? what the hell?"

"BECAUSE I LIKE YOU."

=) and just like that, you could hear a pin drop in the room, when he dropped that bomb, he just remained quiet, with his flushed exhausted face, until jervis expected a reaction of you. you just remained stone cold;

'jervis....likes me back?'

=) while you were lost in yout thoughts, jervis left the room, quieter than usual.

=) when you finally became concious of his feelings, you stood up and looked for him everywhere, knowing that you fucked up big time. you found him sitting in the roof.

"Hey Jervis" He looked over to you, as if expecting something "I wanna talk about what happened-"

"I know you don't like me back, it was just-"

"But I do like you back, Jervis, I was scared you didn't."

=) so the cat was out of the bag, and well you both talked it out, and well, now you have a bf!!!

=) so handholding is necesary and also tea parties :)!

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Broken Mirror: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Word Count: ~1.5k

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill, and angst

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there is any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated.

Feedback is gold, and it’s the only currency I take

"When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him." - Euripides

Thinking about going on a date with Spencer is way different than actually doing it. Gideon got you two the good seats even if it is a first come first serve. However, you made sure to arrive early enough to get a seat by the exit so you didn't have to waste time just sitting around while everyone else leaves. Gideon picked a good day as well since they were playing a two special horror movies, Psycho and The Shining. Spencer hadn’t seen either of them, but you have and you knew you would have a good time.

“Okay, I got literally every sweet thing they had,” you announced, climbing into the bed of your truck. Spencer didn’t have a car since he preferred to take public transportation to work. Sometimes you would be his ride if he asked for it, so it was natural that you two take your car. It was better anyway since you had a 4x4 off road truck with a comfortable bed if you laid down blankets and pillows, which you did. Spencer leaned on the back of the truck as you sat next to him, handing him the candy he requested.

“I didn’t know you liked sweet stuff.”

“Sweetheart, my whole life revolves around sugar,” you chuckled, pausing when you realize what you just said. “Sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“For calling you sweetheart. It just came out,” you chuckled nervously.

“It’s okay. I like it,” he smiled.

“Great, okay,” you immediately felt better.

“So, what do we do here?”

“You’ve never been to a drive-in theater before?”

“Never.”

“Well, some people stay inside the car with the windows rolled down, but that’s only if they have a bench for a seat so they can sit really close to each other. I don’t have that so I chose the bed. We can sit anywhere we want,” you began to demonstrate by moving all around the trunk to show him before settling right… next… to… him, “even here.” You go to move, but he placed a hand on your shoulder to stop you.

“You can stay here if you want.”

“Oh, okay, sure,” you cleared your throat, trying to get the awkwardness out of the way. It was clear Spencer didn’t do this too often which was fine, but you wanted to move past the awkward phase.

“Aren’t these movies two hours long each?”

“Yeah, or more, which I don’t know why Gideon thought getting us tickets for this day was a smart idea. He knows I fall asleep during movies all the time.”

“How do you know Gideon?” he asked. Your intentions were to lean against the car, but you shifted too much and ended up against his side, which he didn’t seem to care. Opening the bag of candy you got, you popped one in your mouth and chewed.

“He was the lead agent on my case,” you finished once you swallowed.

“What do you mean?”

“My sister was murdered by her boss since he kept harassing her at work and she would always deny him. He was the one who helped me through losing her. I mean, she wasn’t my blood sister since my parents were fostering a bunch of kids, but she was my sister. The man killed himself before Gideon and his team could get to him, but at least we know he did it. He had the whole plan and more laid out at his apartment.”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” he said quietly.

“You couldn’t have. It’s fine. The more I talk about it, the less it hurts. I was the one who led Gideon to his apartment since I saw the whole thing after it happened. After that, Gideon and I stayed in touch and would occasionally ask me for help on cases. It’s why he wanted me to join the BAU.”

“That must have been so difficult.”

“It was, but I’m glad I have it. I get to help a lot of people because of it,” you grinned. The first movie started playing, and you and Spencer got comfortable enough to sit through four and a half hours of both movies.

“Did you know due to how repressed Americans were in the 1950s, Psycho is actually the first American film to show a toilet on screen. Consequently, it’s the first American film in which we hear the toilet flush,” you informed him.

“I didn’t know that, no,” he chuckled. 

Halfway through the movie, Spencer began to feel your weight getting heavier as you gave up holding yourself up as to not crush him. He looked over at you to see your eyes closed and your mouth parted. He didn’t want to move for fear of waking you, but he couldn’t help but give a smile at your state.

Walking into work the next day, you couldn’t help but recall the events of yours and Spencer’s date. You did fall asleep halfway in the first movie, and you didn't know why he didn’t wake you since it was supposed to be a date. Nonetheless, when it was all over, you two got some ice cream which was way better. Gideon did a good job sparking up the flame between you and Spencer, but it was now up to you two to keep it lit.

“You fell asleep?” JJ laughed as you, her, and Penelope walked down the hallway to the bullpen. 

Of course, you told your two best friends what happened on the date. You three were getting closer which is why you thought it would be good to engage in some healthy gossip.

“Yes, I did. I always do. But Spencer and I went out for ice cream afterwards which was way better,” you chuckled.

“Did he kiss you?” Penelope asked with a grin.

“No, he didn’t. Well, not on the lips. He did kiss me on my cheek, but it’s a first date and I don’t even know if it’ll happen again. I mean, he hasn’t really talked about it. We haven’t had time to really talk about what this might mean. I can tell he’s nervous and tense which can either mean he’s trying to find a reason to let me down gently, or he likes me but won’t do anything about it,” you explained as you walked into the bullpen.

Spencer was on the other end of it talking with Derek, and when you two made eye contact, you gave him a small wave. He stiffly waved back, and you looked away with a sigh.

“His emotional state is all over the place, but I don’t know what it means,” you shrugged.

“Reid, Morgan, Y/L/N,” Hotch announced when he and Elle exited his office, “document's up on the screen regarding the kidnapping of Trish Davenport.”

“That’s my cue,” Penelope left the group.

“Keep me updated,” JJ whispered.

“Have you read them yet?” Spencer asked as you three walked up the stairs to follow the duo.

“Yeah, I got a copy from the document examiner.”

“What does it say?” you wondered.

“That we've got until 8:00 tonight,” he sighed, closing the door once everyone was inside the briefing room. The note that was left for Evan Davenport, the father of the kidnapped girl, was up on the screen.

“You will follow instructions carefully. You will do this to ensure the safety of your daughter. You will wait for the call. You will answer the call at 8:00 P.M. You will write down the instructions and follow them to the letter,” Spencer read it word for word.

“That gives us less than 9 hours to get to Connecticut, work up victimology on Trish Davenport, and prepare her father for the ransom drop.”

“How do we know the letter is real?” you asked.

“The handwriting is a match for Trish's,” he explained as he showed it. “He dictated it to her, and they found saline on the paper.”

“Her tears,” Gideon muttered.

“He never says ‘I’. He doesn't say, ‘I will call’. He says, ‘you will answer the call’. He's distancing himself from the kidnapping. If he said ‘I’, he'd be taking responsibility for it,” Derek noted.

“There's also another missing element. No mention of the police.”

“Ransom notes almost always forbid police involvement,” Elle stated.

“So, is he expecting law enforcement to get involved?” you wondered.

“Well, if he's expecting us, let's not disappoint him,” Gideon smiled.

“Is everyone familiar with the father?” Hotch asked as he passed out the case files while the plane was in the air.

“Evan Davenport, U.S. Attorney, executive assistant southern district, New York, widower. He assigned U.S. Marshals three times in the past ten years due to death threats,” Spencer spit out the facts.

"Is the protective detail still current?” Derek inquired.

“Around the clock, but Trish declined protection when she turned eighteen.”

“But why kill the boyfriend?” you asked, crossing your legs in your seat.

“Well, if I'm gonna kidnap someone I know, I have to take out whoever's with them. It says here she's got a sister,” Derek stated.

“Cheryl.”

“Any problems? Were they close?”

“Yeah, they’re identical twins,” you showed everyone the picture of both sisters side by side. “Which makes me think was Trish the target or was Cheryl?”

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[1000sunnygo]

my Neji-outburst is bad it makes me wanna curl into a ball and cry

For a series that spent episodes after episodes on mourning the death of important people, departure and loss of teammates... it seemed easy to move on from Neji's death

Even from the fillers... I got nothing

Lee screamed his name once. Tenten was concerned about Lee. Gai told him Neji lives on in their hearts. After few episodes, everyone's fine. The war ends, a few crying shots, team Gai back as the comic relief team.

Team Gai, the only team from Naruto's generation that lost a member of his team. Like how Kakashi "lost" Obito and Rin. But they're fine, because the war is over. You mustn't be sad. These people are goofball, they don't 'miss' Neji because Neji's spirit is in their hearts being a goofball with them.

No, it's not funny.

It's unfair. Neji felt STRONGLY about so many people. yet. It's seems to be hardly reciprocated. Like Gaara and Sasuke, Neji also suffered. He too was at his breaking point, no one cared enough to help him until he found solace in Naruto's words. Isn't it heartbreaking that he only felt free when he DIED?

Kishimoto wasted Neji's life in a scene that failed to gouge out a proper reaction even from the readers, rather they found it ridiculous and funny. It's something people remember as a morbid joke. Not a tragedy.

Neji's death doesn't hurt when I see clips of his death, it hurts more when I rewatch old episodes when he was alive. This is the most tragic character in the series because the author abandoned him, his entire development is thrown away for a silly reason. Hizashi's legacy died with him. Branch family's gifted child died as a meat-shield with his back towards the enemy, because the enemy was too powerful he couldn't do a single thing.

Rather, because Kishimoto didn't bother giving Neji a chance to SHINE before his death, spending a single chapter where "jonin" Neji FOUGHT properly for once to balance the power-levels with other characters that were once considered strong

Kishimoto didn't have time to make his dying words "because you called me a genius" have a weight to it. What's so genius-like, dying like this? He was awesome when he took an arrow through his stomach and FOUGHT to win. This? This isn't.

Yeah, sure.. It's a war, people die and you don't get time to mourn for them. If realism really mattered, Gai and Lee wouldn't be goofing around two chapters later. Surely people don't do that during war either.

Characters like Jiraiya, Itachi and Asuma left people who'd find it hard to move on from the loss. What about Neji? I hate how it all makes me wonder if Neji's genuinely important to anyone?

Maybe for Lee he was, but boy was it easy to start being goofy again after losing your teammate, rival and friend. If Naruto moved on so quickly post- Sasuke departure, maybe the series would've been simpler. I love Lee but he was turned into a comic relief.

Neji was Naruto's important nakama. Like Naruto's hundred other important "nakama"s. Naruto is one in a million for Neji but the opposite isn't true. Let alone his teammates, Naruto's reaction to Gaara's death was so fierce it made Chiyo give her life to bring Gaara back. Comparing that to Naruto who called Obito the coolest guy.. I feel sour.

Yeah to Hinata Neji was a brother. Honestly I don't mind her reaction. She cried when he died and named her child after him. iirc we never saw her being goofy since his death till the end of the series, and she was near his grave leaving fresh flowers in the final chapter. Hinata cared for Neji and it's well-conveyed. Hinata is, by nature, very kind, and that side of her came out most in her interactions with Neji. But I think Neji's feeling toward Hinata has more substance to dissect than the opposite. Because Neji wasn't the most important person in her life.

I think Hiashi genuinely cared, but he didn't come close to him at his dying moment. Kishimoto doesn't have time for this.

Gai worried sick about Lee's injury. He cried for him numerous times. Gai didn't come to watch Neji's match in chunin exam finals. Compare that to the Gai we saw after Neji's death. It's unbearable.

When Neji was in the operation room on the verge of death after sasuke retrieval arc, no one from Hyuga clan or his team were free to pay him a visit. Maybe they did. He's a secondary character and the series doesn't have to show minor scenes. But he matters to me.

With all subtle, unintended negligence piled up I can't overlook any of them. He's just a young boy. I want to see thay he's truly loved. I want him to be remembered not as a part of the crowd but as Hyuga Neji.

[ragingbookdragon]

New Risks

A Jason Todd x Reader One-Shot

Word Count: 830 Warnings: Explicit Language

Author’s Note: GUESS WHO’S BACK WITH A DC FIC???? AYEEE! ENJOY! -Thorne

“You know, I wanna say this is the dumbest thing we’ve ever done,” she adjusted the strap at her waist, making sure it was snug against her, “but we’ve done dumber stuff in the past.” He grinned as he checked his own belt before sitting back against the seat, pushing the ignition button.

           “C’mon doll, where’s your sense of adventure?” She grunted, crossing her arms over her chest as she retorted,

           “Well if this goes wrong, it’ll be crushed between a solid concrete wall and seven thousand pounds of reinforced titanium and steel.”

           “The Batmobile is sturdy enough to withstand concrete. We’ve driven through concrete before.”

           “Yeah, but at sixteen g’s? We’re pushing it Jason.”

           “(Y/N), we’re gonna be fine.” She eyed him before reaching over and pinching his cheek.

           “We’d better or the grave digger will be digging two graves.” Jason grinned as he pushed a few buttons and the car began to speed up.

           “Technically I could just crawl back into my old grave.” (Y/N)’s eyes went wide, and she inquired,

           “Wait, does Bruce still have your tombstone standing?” He nodded.

           “Oh yeah. We meet once a year at it and boohoo properly like a mourning father and zombie son.”

           “And you wonder why he thinks about wringing your neck most days.”

           “What’d I say?” She snorted as the Batmobile reached one-twenty-five and Jason reached over, grabbing her hand. “You good?” (Y/N) nodded, squeezing his hand.

           “I dunno ‘bout you, but this seems like a bad date idea.”

           “Why’s that?”

           “We’re currently going one-hundred-and-sixty miles an hour hurdling towards a wall?”

           “I mean…you did say you wanted to take more risks?”

           “Oh my god, I meant like climbing a mountain freehand or kayaking the rapids! Not this!”

           “Do you wanna stop?”

           “Hell no, this is the most exciting thing we’ve done in forever.”

           “Also the dumbest.

           “I thought that was already known?” Jason chuckled before looking out the windshield, quipping,

           “Well, we just hit two-fifty.” (Y/N) hummed, turning her gaze to it as well.

           “That wall is getting closer.”

           “Would you like me to start quoting Shakespeare?”

           “Hmm…do Edgar Allan Poe, it seems more appropriate.” Jason cleared his throat before extending a hand, eloquently reciting,

           “And now was acknowledged the presence of the Red Death. He had come like a thief in the night. And one by one dropped the revelers in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in the despairing posture of his fall. And the life of the ebony clock went out with that of the last of the gay. And the flames of the tripods expired. And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.” (Y/N), impressed, nodded as she clapped her hands.

           “The Masque of The Red Death? Marvelous choice Jay.” He thanked her, curling his hand in hers.

           “Only the best for you doll.” She smiled at him, and as they neared the wall, the Batmobile suddenly lurched to a stop, wheels locking. They jerked forward in their seats before slamming back against them, gasping as the air left their lungs from the impact. (Y/N) raised a hand to her shoulder, painfully stating,

           “I think my collarbone is broken.” Jason groaned.

           “I think I broke my sternum…and all my ribs.” Before they could say anything else, the doors opened, revealing the very owner of the vehicle himself. He stood, a frown on his face, which when he had the cowl on, was much scarier in person.

           “What are you two doing?” She reached over, unbuckling her seatbelt.

           “We were testing the dynamics of the acceleration of the Batmobile to it’s ability to withstand-” One snort from Jason, and she huffed, “Oh fuck it, we were seeing if the Batmobile would survive through concrete.” Bruce didn’t even sigh as he grunted,

           “With you two inside?” Jason raised his hands, palms up as he shrugged,

           “Go big or go home, old man.”

           “Why are you two like this?” (Y/N) leaned over, resting her elbow on Jason’s shoulder.

           “‘Cause we share one braincell.” Jason nodded and his father sighed,

           “Evidently.” Bruce jerked a thumb over his shoulder, muttering, “Get out of the Batmobile and go home.” The two conceded and climbed out before watching Bruce get in and drive off. They stood in silence for a few moments, then Jason asked,

           “What now?” (Y/N) hummed, taking his hand in hers.

           “Well…it’s only seven…wanna go dick with Two-Face and his thugs?”

           “I thought you wanted risky?”

           “I do…but dicking with Two-Face by talking about law is super fucking funny. I mean it’s one thing to talk to Harv, but have you ever watched him have an argument with himself over the ethics of his decisions? Funniest shit you’ll ever see.” Jason stared at her but nodded.

           “Yeah, you have a point.” The two started towards the other side of the city, and he said, “I love you doll.” (Y/N) grinned as she squeezed his hand.

           “I love you more Jay.”

[dameferre]

i also wanna know abt who am i really 👀

okay. so. ‘who am i really’ is the first zukka thing i ever wrote, started before i had even. finished watching the show lmao

basically i have 25k of it written, probably another 4-5k written in notes and an outline, but i am mature and knowledgeable of my own shortcomings enough to know there’s no way in hell i’ll ever finish it, because that 25k? isn’t even. 20% of the fic if i were to actually write it, like this shit would approach 200k in its final form and i very simply do not have the time to actually. write that lmao

but i’m happy to talk about it! so basically it was the whole ‘oh my god they were roommates’ premise except zuko is sokka’s downstairs neighbour, they fight over music volume, and for the first part of the fic zuko’s a bootlicking son of the city police chief and starting out at the police academy, who calls the cops on sokka for his music one night

aand i just realised how long this is gonna be so under the cut!

so we start from the ‘zuko’s a fucking asshole’ stage and move on from there, and then due to a couple of different mildly traumatic events  zuko realises the police system is inherently evil, has his whole redemption arc slash emotional breakdown and quits the force, he gets cut off by ozai and moves in w sokka for cheaper rent bc sokka is a nice person (who’s seen the way zuko has been walking around looking like absolute Death for weeks) and also needs someone to help w the rent

we also start from the point where sokka’s dating suki, and zuko’s still coming to terms with his sexuality, so there’s all that to work through

basically it just goes into the development of zuko and sokka’s friendship, and zuko’s development as a person going from an incredibly sheltered, incredibly privileged life to... the opposite of that lmao and how his friendship with the rest of the gaang grows, and his personal journey, and whatnot, just a nice little mirror for canon except w more swearing and the author talking about how all cops are bastards

it’s all self indulgent nonsense and little bits of shit that popped into my head so i wrote it down, really, but here’s my favourite bit

“So I was thinking.”

“Never a good sign.”

“Ha, ha.” Sokka deadpans. “Seriously though. I want a GNO. Drinking, dancing, questionable choices, might even get some action if I’m on my game.”

“And you think this is something I would enjoy.” Zuko, the introvert who can’t dance, responds.

“You’ll enjoy it because you’re going with your best friends, one of whom is just getting over the emotional hangover of the end of a three-year relationship.” Sokka pouts. “We can even go to a gay club! It’s been ages since I’ve been to one.”

Zuko snorts, and looks back to the TV. “I thought you wanted to get some ‘action’.”

“I mean, I would also be fine with just a fun night out with the gang. But if there are interested parties.” Sokka shrugs.

“Well, forgive me if my idea of a fun night isn’t watching Toph beat the shit out of you for creeping on lesbians at a gay club.”

Sokka makes an exasperated noise. “C’mon, you know me better than that.” He says, throwing a cheeto at the side of Zuko’s face. “I said interested parties. I can be strictly dick-tly for an evening, no sweat.”

Zuko turns, brow raised. “What does that even mean.”

“Y’know. I wouldn’t say no to a girl of the bipan persuasion if she wants to make a move, but if I’m actively pursuing anyone, it’ll just be guys. And, y’know, any non-girl people who seem into it.”

A record scratches in Zuko’s brain. “You… why would you pursue a guy.”

“I dunno, if he’s hot?” Sokka says, looking at him like he’s crazy. “Or has a nice smile? Shiny hair? I dunno, why do you usually pursue guys, Z.”

“But.” Zuko stammers, staring at Sokka. “But I’m attracted to men.”

Sokka blinks at him. “…so am I?”

What. “What.” No seriously, what. “What?!”

“Is this… are you trying to be funny?”

Zuko stares at his roommate, frantically trying to understand what’s going on. “Are you trying to be funny?!”

“No, I’m being bisexual.” Sokka says, slightly defensively. “Because I’m bisexual?”

“Since when?!”

Sokka stares at him, then gestures to wall. “Zuko, that’s been up since I moved in. I know you’ve seen it.”

Zuko turns to stare at the wall, but all he can see is- “The flag?”

“Yeah, Zuko, the fucking flag. Did you think I just thought it was pretty?”

“Is-” Zuko flounders. “Is the flag significant?”

Sokka looks intently, somewhat crazed, at Zuko’s face, like he’s searching for something. Whatever it is, he obviously doesn’t find it. His arm is still held out towards the wall, and he uses it to gesture towards the flag again, more aggressively this time. “It’s the fucking bisexual pride flag, Zuko!”

“I.” Zuko gapes at him, still confused. “I thought the pride flag was a rainbow?”

“Oh my-” Sokka starts. “Are you fucking with me right now. Is this you fucking with me.” He pauses, staring at Zuko. “Jesus fuck, Zuko, there are different flags for different sexualities. That’s the bisexual one.”

Zuko stares at the flag, then back at Sokka, then back at the flag. Then back at Sokka. “Well how was I supposed to know that?!”

“Everybody knows that, Zuko!” Sokka exclaims, then brings his hand up to rub at the bridge of his nose. “Okay, I guess you just. Didn’t know that. Somehow. And that’s fine. Point being, I am bisexual. I am attracted to all genders, I’ve been- I thought- out since I was sixteen. So yeah. I’m bi.”

“But.” Zuko’s brain has been trying to process this information, and now rejects it entirely. “But that. You can’t be.”

Sokka gives him a weird look. “I can’t be?” His face shifts, into something sort of… defensive. Wary, almost. “Do you have a problem with bisexuals?”

“What?” Oh shit. “No, of- of course not! I- I love bisexuals! All of the- um,” Zuko’s mind races, trying to think of a bi person he knows personally, and then frantically widening its search to any bisexual human being in all of recorded history. “Jet! Jet’s bi! Love Jet, he’s, um. Yeah! Bi.”

Sokka’s face isn’t defensive anymore, but it is shocked. And- something else, Zuko can’t quite place. “You love Jet?”

“What?”

“You just said you loved Jet.” Sokka says, sort of quietly. “I just- I guess I didn’t know you guys were at that point.”

Zuko absolutely does not love Jet. Only Jet loves Jet. But Sokka’s looking at him, lit by the artificial glow of the TV, still the most attractive thing Zuko’s ever seen. So Zuko’s self-preservation instinct kicks in. “Uh. Yeah, you know.” He swallows. “It’s still pretty new, but. Yeah.”

“Well hey, that’s.” Sokka gives a small smile. “That’s great.” He places his hands on his thighs, pushing up off the couch. “I’m just gonna text everybody, see if we can get the night planned.”

He walks away, leaving Zuko to his mental breakdown in peace.

Sokka’s bi.

Sokka.

Is bi.

[later that week or some transition i haven’t written lmao]

“Zuko, you know I’m bi, right?” Suki laughs, but the grin slides off her face when Zuko hesitates. “You know that, right.”

Zuko makes a reluctant face. “I know now…?”

“Oh my-“ Suki stares at him, then looks at Sokka who makes a face as if to say ‘see, what did I tell you’. “Ew, Zuko!” She cries. “Ew, you thought- you thought I was straight?!”

“You had a boyfriend,” Zuko defends himself weakly.

Suki looks like she wants to scream. “I’ve never been so offended in my entire life.”

“Now you know how I feel.” Sokka says.

“Me! A straight girl!” She laughs, slightly hysterical. “Me!”

“Okay, I guess I just-” Zuko starts, but Suki holds out two fingers in front of his face, shutting him up.

“No no, that’s enough from you today.” She looks, wide-eyed, at Sokka. “What do I have to do, paint the fucking bi flag on my face?”

Sokka snorts. “He wouldn’t recognise it, anyway.”

Suki turns back to glare at Zuko. “I thought we were friends, Zuko.”

and then in a perfect world this would be followed by a montage of all the times sokka has definitely been openly bisexual in front of ‘still coming to terms with his own sexuality’ zuko who’d just. wrote it off as bro culture

[mc-i-r]

Thrill of the kill

Prologue

Masterpost

Ship: intrulogical

Pov: Remus

Tw: blood, gore, death, torture, cursing, kissing

Let me know if I missed anything!

Word count: 1,024

I tied the knot, securing this asshole in place. He had passed out sometime between the car ride here and our arrival so me, being the fabulous person I am, carried him inside. This one got pretty lucky; the other chair was too dirty to put someone in so this creaky old chair will do. I made sure he was properly tied up and grabbed the bucket of water from beside my tool table. I poured the bucket on him and he gasped for air. There he is! Silly me thought he was dead. Luckily he's not, now I can have my fun. 

The mans’ gasp was muffled, probably because of the giant di- I mean gag in his mouth. Wait for it, wait for it… three…

...two…

...one…

There it is.

This dumbass started struggling, thinking that by wiggling a little that he could get out of the ropes. Ha, fat chance. I just laughed at his attempt at freedom. I mean, who does this guy think he is? 

“You’re so silly,” I said in a fake flirtatious tone. 

I went over to my tool table and grabbed a pair of common black gloves while looking over the assortment of weapons, choosing a small knife to start with. The reasons for the common gloves are simple; no fingerprints and no specific location of purchase. I don’t want to get caught before I’ve had my fun now do I? I was just about to start my work when I felt two slim arms wrap around my middle, hugging me from behind. I immediately started smiling and leaned into the touch. 

“Thought you forgot about me,” I said in a sweet tone.

“My dear, I could never forget about you. Not when we have...guests,” my pookie said. God I love him. I looked over to the poor soul tied to the chair, him looking at us through wide eyes. Its honestly like he hasn’t seen a gay serial killer couple before. 

“I was just about to get started. Want to join me?” I asked the man still hugging my waist. He sighed.

“I’m a little worn out after yesterday so, if you don’t mind, I’d like to watch you work,” he said. I just smiled like a maniac, or well, like me. 

“Anything you say, Lo,” I said. I looked up at him since he was a couple inches taller than me. He kissed my nose and I smiled back at him. God, he’s adorable. Then I heard muffled screaming. Seriously? Now? I was having a moment. I rolled my eyes and let out a dramatic sigh.

“Okay, shithead, since you want attention I’ll gladly oblige,” I growled out. The man responded by screaming even more. Can this guy just shut up? Oh wait. I smiled again as an idea came into my head. Perfect. 

I wiggled out of Lo’s grasp to walk forward to the man, holding the knife out. I heard Lo grab a chair and pull it up to watch. 

“So, should I start here,” I pointed to his left arm. “Here,” I pointed to his chest. “Here,” I pointed to his leg. “Or here?” I finally pointed to his throat, pressing the edge of the blade into the skin to break the first couple of layers, drawing little blood. He started squirming, making the blade draw more blood. This guy really is an idiot, isn’t he? 

“Fine, if you want to be that way. Logie bear? Where should I start?” I asked. I heard him hum in thought.

“I believe that you should aim for the arms first but avoid the main veins to prevent bleeding out. Then, I’d go for the chest. Do your specialty on the legs, I know it makes you happy. Lastly, I'd kill with the throat and go back to the veins in his wrist,” Logan said. Damn he's cute when he’s thinking. Okay, not the time. 

“Sounds like a plan, Love,” I said, turning back to the man whose face was almost paler than me.

I followed Logan’s plan, making large gashes down his arm and across his chest. As for his legs, I simply performed my specialty. When we decide to use knives, I use my only signature; cutting the Achilles tendon. For all of you uneducated delinquents out there, the Achilles tendon is the rubber band thingy on the back of your ankle that connects your calf muscles to your ankle and it's so fun to cut. It severs the connection of your foot and the rest of your body and the screams it makes are just...ugh they’re so good. It’s my favorite part of using the knives but we rarely use it to avoid too much suspicion. We can’t have the authorities thinking that there's two serial killers out there, are you crazy? I am, that's for sure. 

After I was done having my fun, I slit the man's throat who, by that time, was completely exhausted and had stopped screaming after the tendon cutting. I cut so deep that I severed the trachea and esophagus, the spinal cord barely visible. The nearly headless man slumped over as he choked on his own blood. I half smiled and grunted turning around to face Logan. He stood up from his chair and started clapping as if I had just performed; which, in a way, was true. I smiled upon seeing him and he walked over to me as I put my knife down. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood slightly on my toes to kiss him. He returned it, sighing in content as our lips met. Kissing him always felt right, even after three years of being together. I pull away and we both have a dazed look in our eyes, still hungover by our kiss. 

“You were amazing today, Re,” he said. I smiled and leaned my head on his chest, snuggling closer to him. 

“I love you, Lo,” I said. I felt him tighten his grip around me for a moment.

“I love you too, Remus.” 

taglist:

@braingoburr @falsemood (if you wanna be removed I can take you off I just didn't know who would want to be added for sure)

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

[remythologise]

I don't even watch SPN but all the rants got me super intrigued, is it possible to get a layman's summary of what's going on? I think I understand why the Destiel canon confession thing got everyone mad but what happened after? What's the meta narrative everyone's talking about? Was there an expectation of something and they didn't deliver? Just super curious feel free to ignore if you don't have the time x

Hey anon! Sorry for flooding your dash haha. Layman’s summary is as follows:

Of the people watching SPN and shipping Destiel in season 15, most don’t expect it to be canon. A small group of people are providing meta being like it’s DEFINITELY going canon, but 500 times bitten 600 times shy, most don’t believe them. Now I wanna say, this meta - on the most part - makes sense. It does. It just assumes a smarter show than I think Supernatural is.

Season 12-15, from when Dabb takes over as showrunner, is emotionally about building a family around ‘Jack’ a nephilim child who considers Sam, Dean and Cas his ‘three dads’. They love him as a son, textually this is stated many times. 

Season 15 is a meta narrative in which the characters face off against God, ‘the Author’. The Author also represents the SPN writers. Many people believed that this meant the end of the show would be Sam and Dean being ‘free’ of the narrative that had chained them, which is, to SPN’s credit, exactly what happened (if executed extremely fucking poorly.) The defeat of God is the one plot point in 15.19 I liked, even if I don’t like how it was done.

During this season and to be honest, many previous seasons, there’s a really subtle Dean/Cas narrative being drawn, and when I say ‘subtle’, I mean like, it’s loud for an intelligent show, but quiet for a CW show where nothing is written subtly. And this season, there’s a beautiful line being strung through about free will, about how Castiel had free will, how he fell for Dean, outside the narrative. Outside of the author’s intention. It matches up with the meta arc.

15.18 airs, Destiel goes canon with Cas’ confession, suddenly everything is on the table. The show REALLY IS intelligent enough to understand that amazing meta narrative; the characters falling in love outside the author’s plan. They really bring it into canon. Suddenly, all the bi flag lighting and weird tap dance scenes in this season make SENSE. And I mean that sincerely; it was like the arc of the season was completely locked into place with this. Everything had a place to fall into. Everyone is very excited for the end, because surely, surely, this being a grand epic narrative where one main character confesses to another, Castiel would not stay dead. The narrative had showed us that Dean loved him, through mixtapes given and unmatched grief for his death and choked off prayers. And tap dancing with lamps, if you read into that.

I think the problem is that the Dean/Cas arc was written subtly by the talented writers who love it, and for that reason it’s far better than anything else in season 15. And I think people wrongly assumed that Dean would be allowed to love a man in return, despite the narrative imperative he return Cas’ love (Cas being a character who has never really been treated the way he deserved, and a happy ending being the antithesis to Chuck/The Author’s desired tragic ending) Which brings us to

15.19 airs, and it’s a complete clusterfuck. The episode itself is the worst I’ve seen, hands down. The writing is terrible, the ending is anti-climatic, they have montages that are supposed to be emotional but just seem like random clips of random characters to completely incorrect music choices. Not only that, but the characters end the episode emotionally OOC in a way I’ve never seen before. At the start of the episode, Dean begs God/Chuck to bring Cas back to life. Chuck has the power to do this; we see this when he resurrects Lucifer from the same place Cas is. At the end of the episode, Jack, despite having acquired God’s powers, resurrects EVERYONE IN THE WORLD, but not Castiel. Castiel is not mentioned, by Jack - the son who adored him, and who he adored - and not by Dean - who had just received a love confession from him, and had not twenty minutes earlier begged God to kill him and Sam and bring back everyone especially Cas. Hello?

There are so many plotholes and canon continuity errors and dropped plot points with 15.19 but let me say the most glaring wrt Cas; in s15, Ruby asks Cas to free her from the Empty. She says it’s eternal suffering for demons and angels there. We know the Empty hates Cas. Lucifer, in this ep, mentions the Empty being a fucking nightmare. And yet DESPITE ALL OF THIS, Castiel is left there to suffer. And the writers it seems are pretending that the Empty is meant to be ‘peaceful’, despite this being mentioned nowhere in text. 

At the end of the episode, Sam and Dean toast to Jack and Castiel, to the ‘ones they lost’ and then just seem to be happy and fine with everything. Sam doesn’t even mention his love interest, Eileen, who he had been panicking over being dead. And full smile coming from the man, Dean Winchester, who was textually suicidal last time he thought Castiel was dead. What??? But it really does seem like the family was just broken up without any emotional catharsis and Castiel’s confession won’t be addressed.

As far as we are aware, Misha Collins is not returning and the next ep is a Monster of the Week brother-centred ‘classic’ episode finale.

So basically; everything intelligent we thought was happening in the story was mostly a lie, Dean/Castiel was no-homo’d out of being a beautiful never before seen meta narrative love story (well, a reciprocated one), the family dynamic of Team Free Will was horribly broken up with no emotional coherence or catharsis, and most of this seems to be a poorly written excuse to have the two brothers alone again. Oh, and also, Castiel is an incredibly tragic queer figure who spent the whole show suffering, dying, and serving the man he loved, and got sent to super-turbo-hell for it. And NONE of the dropped plot threads or emotional threads are gonna be picked back up, barring a miracle surprise appearance from Misha Collins in 15.20 - but even then, how do you excuse Jack walking out, and forgetting to bring Cas back to life? How do you excuse Dean suddenly giving up on Cas as soon as it’s possible to revive him again... what, because he’s gay for Dean now? How do you excuse any of it? 

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 15x18 “Despair”

WOW TODAY SURE IS A DAY, HUH

-

04:40pm

Y’ALL

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS

I KNOW WHAT’S COMING

BUT AM I PREPARED?

my post leading up to this: https://almaasi.tumblr.com/post/634003656411381760/i-have-seen-the-spn-spoilers-okay-okay-okay

i found a faster torrent and there are 7 minutes until it’s done I’M GONNA GO WANDER AROUND FOR A BIT BRB

-

04:51pm

window is blacked out

i am as ready as i can be, i think

-

04:52

HERE WE GO

-

omg so much has happened irl i fully forgot what happened at the end of the last ep so THANK U RECAP

-

BILLIE JUST

BOMBED THE EMPTY

WITH JACK

:0

-

05:00

just as i was thinking “aaah billie’s probably lying, jack’s capital D Dead” THERE’S JACK

-

JACK’S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-

05:05pm

nice shot

-

05:07

CHARLIE’S PARTNER IS GORGEOUS AND THIS IS SO HAPPY

they better both make it to the end and out the other side or istg

-

OH NO WHERE DID BABE GO

-

babe is named stevie

BRIng STEVIE BACK

-

05:09

THIS PLACE IS CALLED KIM MANOR

-

we’re like 1/3 of the way into this episode?? damn

-

cas and jack hanging out on the hood of the impala like the brothers did all those years ago

good family talk spot

-

05:13

high quality face

-

05:15

cas: WE DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE USEFUL OR--

cas baby yesssssssssssssssssssssss

these are the words cas can say because he knows them for himself

-

05:19

THE DOTS ON SAM’S PHONE CHAT WITH EILEEN

DISAPPEARING

OH...................

-

05:26

DONNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

oh i wish we’d had more donna and jody :/

-

05:29

dean’s gonna lose cas and then it’s gonna be the sam+charlie+dean “i just lost my lover” club :c

-

05:34

just thinkin about the ending of the final episode

the only two endings i really want are:

everyone we love is somehow alive and they drive into the sunset

they all die but wake up in heaven and there’ll be peace when you are done

or some combination thereof

-

05:37

billie: i didn’t hurt your friends

yeah i thought not

-

bobby vanishes and my eyes flood with tears

that last look between him and sam........

-

wait when was donna from another universe??? or did she die at some point

WOW I’VE FORGOTTEN A LOT

-

05:42

dean: “what do we do, ca--- my heart”

.......

yep

i’m not ready for whatever’s about to happen

-

I’M SO !!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE THE FACT THEY JUST WON’T DIE

AND THEY ALWAYS COME BACK

IS THE SEMI-BOSS FIGHT

I’M LOVING THIS

EVEN THOUGH I HATE IT

-

05:46

this sure is a screenshot huh

-

05:49

/mutes discord bc this needs all of my attention

-

05:51

cas’ eyes are starting to tear up and he’s smiling as he starts to talk and ohhhhhhhhh here it comes

-

05:53

there’s.

literally.

a wall.

between them.

talk about SYMBOLISM

-

jensen’s pupils are so wide right now holy shit

-

“you are the most caring man on earth”

dean looking at these words like it’s news to him

;~;

cas

thank you for saying these things we’ve all been yelling at the screen for years

-

05:58

DEAN HAS CAS’ BLOODY HANDPRINT ON HIS JACKET

........i can’t let myself believe that was it

THERE WILL BE MORE

SURELY

like

in no conceivable world do the writers get this far, give us THAT, and have it never be mentioned again or properly resolved

hello yes i’m waiting for the magic ritual where cas’ bloody handprint plays a part

-

06:02

yeah i mean

if they saved the whole world multiple times over

everyone’s gotta go

-

oh dean................. oh no

-

GOD

THAT REALLY WAS SOMETHING HUH

i feel like my full reaction is reserved 

because this was half a story. this was one-sided and it was just cas’ monologue. dean has things to say

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT OVER

i know people (misha??) has said it’s a permadeath but i do not believe that, and i don’t believe anything anyone says about what’s coming tbh

i got an anon in my inbox a few weeks ago who correctly predicted this, saying they knew someone on set, but like......... the real ending would be top secret and anything that gets out would not end up in the inbox of some fic author along with a bad vibe. (i didn’t answer it, not wanting to stir up shit.)

that anon said cas isn’t in the last two episodes. except that can’t possibly be true because we, the audience, can see people in the empty, and cas still needs to yell at the empty, and death is in there too... and the empty just wants to sleep so we need to see that too, and cas would be there.

THERE’S MORE TO COME, KIDS

two episodes left

i’m wary of the next one because it’s the deadly duo writing, but they seem to be okayish these days so maybe it’ll be fine

but the finale..... fingers crossed <3

fingers also crossed for a blue georgia, north carolina, and pennsylvania <3

/goes back to cnn livestream because I WANNA WATCH WHEN GEORGIA FLIPS

also. back to spn for a sec. i’m a leeeeeeetle bit mad that the gay black woman disappears first. like i know everyone died but. haven’t we had enough of that??

10/10 even so BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN BETTER

eh. this show is what it is, and i just gotta accept that, BUT ALSO I THINK WE’RE GENUINELY GETTING SOMEWHERE WITH DEAN AND CAS HERE

but only so long as this actually has a conclusion

which it must do

because this is very much an emotional cliffhanger. cas just emotion-dumped and then fucked off so dEAN’S GOTTA PROCESS AND THEN CHASE HIM

OBVIOUSLY

BECAUSE THAT’S HOW LOVE STORIES WORK

we didn’t watch 15 years of this thing only to be given half of what we wanted in the closing moments, and then get left left high and dry. the writers/producers are clearly willing to give us canon love confessions, and they're not gonna get as far as this, with a finale as tense and dramatic as this, and be like lol dean's straight and only likes cas as a friend........... after he’s dead and died for the joy of their love........... that's beyond madness

and dean needs to SPEAK. there are so many things he’d never said. and he needs to say them to cas. he was basically silent in this conversation and you can’t just say that’s their ending. it’s not their ending.

AND LIKE

IF THIS SHOW AND THIS FINALE AND THIS SEASON HAS PROVED ANYTHING

IT’S THAT NOBODY STAYS DEAD

AND WHATEVER THE WRITER INTENDS, THE CHARACTERS HAVE THEIR OWN DESIRES AND DRIVES

AND FOR THAT REASON, GAY LOVE WILL PIERCE THROUGH THE VEIL OF DEATH AND SAVE THE DAY

[deckyshep]

Unholiest - Chapter One

Original story by R.D. Shepard. Genre(s): Historical Fiction, Supernatural, Romance Content Warnings: HIV/AIDS diagnosis, homophobia, homophobic/transphobic slur usage, missing person Author’s Notes: Thanks for reading! This is chapter one of the Unholiest novel I’ve been working on for about a year now. It’s still in progress, but I’m excited to be able to share this first chapter with y’all. This novel was heavily inspired by a TTRPG series that I’ve been a huge fan of for a long time; with the uploading of each chapter, it’ll likely become apparent which TTRPG series it is, haha. Enjoy! Summary: Mac Whelan and Drew Kelly are a young, openly gay couple in the early 1980s, living in NYC and struggling to make ends meet. It’s hard enough being out of the closet in the midst of the AIDS crisis—but when Mac suddenly goes missing, Drew struggles with the grief of losing the first man he ever loved while also dealing with the existential dread of his own mortality. When he discovers what happened to his fiancé, though... heads will roll.

It had been almost an hour, and the doctor hadn’t even walked in yet.  Mac Whelan and his fiancé, Drew Kelly, sat impatiently in the office.  Drew’s hand was holding Mac’s leg down, as he had a tendency to bounce his leg when he was nervous.  They’d ran out of conversation to distract each other with, so they simply leaned against one another, keeping their eyes on the door.

“You know it’ll be fine, right?” Mac whispered, turning his head to kiss just below Drew’s ear, and Drew sighed.

“Please don’t make me have this conversation again.”  Drew rubbed Mac’s knee gently.  “We don’t know that, and you’re not making me feel better by heightening my expectations.”

Mac grinned a little. “No, I know.  I just wanna rub it in your face when the tests come back negative and it turns out I was just dehydrated.”  Drew scoffed, rolling his eyes with a smile.  “You know I’m gonna be right.  I drank so many Sex on the Beaches that night, and exactly one bottle of water.  I’ll admit, that was my fault, but that’s all that—”

They both sat upright when there was a knock at the door.  “Come in,” Drew quickly said, and the doctor walked in.  He was a bald-headed man with thick-rimmed glasses and a long white doctor’s coat that covered a crisp, plaid button-down.

“Mr. Whelan,” the doctor greeted Mac, shaking his hand before sitting down at the desk.  “And… Drew, right?”

“Yes, sir,” Drew answered a little too quickly.  “Dr. Stannard, did you… get anything back?”

Dr. Stannard nodded.  “If you remember correctly, Mac, we tested you for HIV.”

Drew’s hand was tightly held in his fiancé’s as Mac’s leg bounced nervously in his seat.  “Right.”

“Which stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus.”  The doctor set down a clipboard, removing a couple of papers from the board and looking them over. “It’s a virus that, depending on the patient, can remain dormant for many years, or start attacking the immune system right away.  You were at risk due to your relationship with another man, and after your last spill, we’re all very glad you came in to get tested—”

“Can you just cut to the chase?” Drew interrupted.

Mac squeezed his hand, chastising him with a look.  “Baby, he’s trying to make sure we know the facts.  Even though I don’t have HIV, it’s important that we stay safe.  Right, Stannard?”  The doctor opened his mouth to speak, then closed it with a soft sigh. Mac felt his mouth go dry.  “Doc?”

“Mr. Whelan, I’m sorry. Your tests came back positive.”

Drew’s grip on his hand grew painfully tight, and Mac blinked.  “Excuse me?”

The doctor furrowed his brow, obviously never enjoying this part of the job. “You tested positive for HIV, Mac.  Moreso, we’re afraid the virus is working faster than we’d expected. Mr. Kelly, if you have been his only sexual partner, you’re going to need to get tested as well so we can make a care plan for both of you.”

Mac heard Drew start to cry, but he couldn’t really feel anything.  Not the pain from Drew squeezing his hand, not the tears soaking into his shirt sleeve, not the coldness of the room.  “I… No, there’s gotta be a mistake.”

“These tests are ninety-nine percent accurate, Mr. Whelan.”  The doctor sighed, setting his hands flat against the desk.  “I know this is difficult to hear. And I’m genuinely sorry for having to be the person to bring you this news.  I will answer whatever questions you have for me.”

“Is…” Mac shook his head. “Is there a treatment right now? Like—there has to be something, right? We can do something about this?”

The doctor looked solemn as he spoke.  “We have some experimental trials going on right now, but as of right now, we don’t have anything to actively fight the virus yet.”

“This is bullshit.” Mac said it quietly at first, like he was still comprehending it, but then he stood up suddenly, letting go of his fiancé and beginning to shout. “This is bullshit!  You don’t have anything?  Are you fucking kidding me?”  Drew tried to take his hand to calm him down, but he pushed it away.  His face was beet red.  “Half the gays in Manhattan have HIV and no one’s doing anything about it! This is fucking bullshit!”

Dr. Stannard shook his head, genuinely looking remorseful.  “Mr. Whelan, I’m sorry.  We’re doing what we can.  Finding funding for HIV research has been… difficult.”

“I don’t—” Mac grabbed at his own hair, as though to keep himself from doing anything he’d regret. “You don’t… you don’t have anything?” His voice grew quieter, and he sat down in the chair, staring at his lap in defeat.  Drew wrapped an arm around his shoulders, trying to suppress his own tears.  “How long do we have?”

“It’s hard to say, Mac.” Dr. Stannard clasped his hands together, sighing.  “It might be a couple of years. It could be a few months.”

“Months,” Mac repeated hollowly, reaching up to hold Drew’s hand.  “Fuck.”

-

Love of my life,

It’s worse than they thought.  I might not live to see next year.  I needed to tell you, but I didn’t know if I had the strength to tell you face-to-face. You have to get tested, baby.  Get some treatment before it gets worse.  And before you start blaming yourself, I don’t blame you in the slightest.  This HIV shit is a silent killer.  The doc said people can go years without knowing it’s in their bodies. There’s no way you could’ve known you had it.  Make sure you check up on Willie, let him know he might have it, too.

I found someone who’ll take care of it for me.  It’s not a cure, but it’ll keep me from dying painfully.

Please don’t look for me. You have to live the rest of your life happily without me.  I know you can do it.  Find another man who’ll make you feel like the queen you are, baby.  You deserve so much better than to watch me die.  You have to live.

I know this isn’t easy. I know it’s so fucking hard, and horrible, and painful.  I didn’t want to leave.  But I’ve weighed the options, and letting you watch me die is the worst thing I could do. You’re the most wonderful man in the world, baby. You’re so perfectly imperfect to me.  I’d kill anyone in the world just to be with you one last time.

Feel your feelings. I know you’ll be depressed, pissed, begging for one last chance.  You feel those feelings as deeply as you can.  But you have to move on from them so you can feel happy again with someone who’ll treat you better than I did.

If you have to, forget me.  If it makes it easier to move on, pretend like I never existed.  But know that I love you like the sky loves its stars, framing them like the beauties they are.  I love you like the tides love the moon, moving every night at her command. I love you like a prospector loved gold, traveling thousands of miles just to get a glimpse of the stuff.

And most importantly, I love you more.  I will never forget you, Drew.

Lover-boy

-

“Drew Carey, I know you’re in there.  Come here and open this damn door before I bust it down.”

Drew Kelly sat on the kitchen floor, hugging his knees to his chest.  He wore nothing but a pair of red boxer briefs and that white, red-trimmed shirt Mac had gotten at his first concert, the one that was big enough to be baggy on Drew. His red hair, normally pulled back tightly into a bun, was hanging down messily in his eyes.  The record player sat on the kitchen counter just above him – it was playing Love of my Life by Queen, one of Mac’s favorite singles.

He couldn’t hear himself crying anymore, couldn’t feel the tears burning his red cheeks.  It took a couple of times for him to hear Deloreah’s voice through the front door, and even then, he didn’t think he had the strength to get up.  But once Deloreah made that threat, he sighed, wiping his eyes and stumbling up to his feet.

Deloreah’s face quickly changed from stern to pitying as soon as Drew opened the door – he wouldn’t even look up at her.  “Oh, baby.” She immediately stepped inside, wrapping her arms around the redhead and embracing him snugly.  “Thank you for openin’ the door, baby.  Let’s go sit down, sweet boy – you look like you’re about to pass out.”  She closed the door and locked it before leading him to the beat-up, hideous red couch in his living room.  Drew collapsed in his seat, and Deloreah kissed the top of his head, walking over to the kitchen to turn the record player off.  “You ain’t eaten nothing today, I can tell.”

“Not hungry,” Drew mumbled, bringing his knees up to his chest and hiding his face down between them.

Deloreah sighed, putting her hand on her hip as she turned to look at him. “You gotta get somethin’ in your stomach, Drew.  You’re gonna start gettin’ sick.” Drew didn’t respond, merely started sniffling.  Her face fell, and she came back over to him, sitting next to him and beginning to rub his back soothingly.  “I know, baby.  I know it hurts.  Nothin’ hurts more than losin’ the love of your life.” She took a deep breath, glancing around the filthy apartment. “But... it’s been three months. You haven’t even gone to the doctor yet. I don’t want you starvin’ to death.”

Drew began to cry quietly, keeping his head between his knees.  “What’s the fucking point?” he whispered.  “I love him more than I love breathing, and he’s just... gone.  He’s just fucking gone.”

“He wouldn’t want you slowly killin’ yourself,” Deloreah started.

But Drew suddenly looked up at her, harshly wiping the tears drenching his face.  “I didn’t want him to leave, but here we are!”  He was beginning to ramble angrily – not at Deloreah, but at himself.  “Nobody gets what they want!  I met the love of my life at the wrong time, and now I’m gonna--” Drew’s face suddenly fell, and he let out a soft, trembling gasp, more tears streaming down his cheeks.  “Fuck. I’m gonna die alone.  I killed the love of my life.  I gave him AIDS, and now I’m paying for it,” he sobbed, grabbing tightly onto his hair.  “I was a slut!  I was a fucking whore before I met him, and I thought everything was just gonna be okay, like a goddamn moron!”

“Shut your damn mouth for two seconds,” Deloreah said sternly, raising her voice just a bit. Drew clenched his eyes shut, pressing his face between his knees again.  “You are not a moron,” Deloreah murmured, rubbing his back affectionately again.  “And you weren’t no slut, either.  You were living your life, sweet pea, and things got complicated too quickly.  This doesn’t have nothin’ to do with you or anything you’ve done.”

Drew cried quietly, hugging his knees tightly.  Deloreah sighed, scooting closer and pulling him into her side to hold him tightly. “It’s just bad luck, baby.  It ain’t got nothin’ to do with you.  Just bad luck.”

[sargentr]

my fave drarry fics of all time, part one

so, after discovering i’ve officially been reading drarry fanfic for 4 years now, i decided to show my (quite big) list of favorite drarry fics. there are 46 in total, but i’ve listed 10 down below. the first three are my absolute favorites but the rest are equally as good

most of my notes are fresh from when i wrote them post-reading. i’ve changed some, seeming less like a crazy unstable bitch, but fuck these were all emotional as fuck. enjoy

ps: i dont really know how to tag people i dont follow. i cant try and tag the authors later. soz!!

pps: most of these i read when i was really into a bottom!draco phase, so most of them contain that, some are switch tho (as it should be, yikes past me)

1. Everything That Happen is From Now On / ~43K 

After surviving a brutal assault, Draco tries to navigate the tumultuous waters of his mind, and embrace a bit of love and trust in his life. After all, the smallest steps forward can begin to heal the most fractured of souls

okay so before i get in to how beautiful this story is, i wanna say that it does touch on rape quite explicitly. i cried like an idiot reading the entire thing, because draco’s pain is navigated in the most beautiful and realistic way. it touches on a subject very risky for me, very personal, and i still can’t think of a better drarry story. draco’s very draco about it all, and harry is very harry about it all. it’s just perfect, and messy, and tender, and sad. i’ve reread it more than any other fic, and it doesn’t disappoint. 

2. Pocket Full of Starlight / ~46K

When Scorpius Malfoy and Jamie Potter meet at Quidditch camp, they take an instant dislike to each other. Then they discover their lives are more connected than they could possibly imagine.

ah yes. the magic of kid fics. the TASTE

parent trap au. i read this one recently, like 3 months back, and absolutely fell in love with everything about it, partially because the parent trap is legit one of my top 10 favorite movies of all time. its just. the essence, the IDEA, is soooo mf beautiful. i cant get enough of reading when harry or draco finally meet the other twin, or how they cant stop loving each other even after 11 years. my heart clenched throughout the whole thing. 

3. Temptations on the Warfront / ~180K

Draco Malfoy is forced into hiding with the Golden Trio and dragged into their search for horcruxes. What ensues is a journey of redemption, unexpected friendships and an unwanted, turbulent romance with Harry Potter. Warnings for swearing, sexual content, and dark themes. 

this was the first drarry fic ive ever read, and before this mf i HATEDDD this pairing. so you can imagine how much it took to convince me otherwise, bc i was 100% scorbus before this.

to be fair, horcrux hunting with draco involved is, possibly, my favorite trope ever. its unique. theres tension, both sexual and life threatening. in some ways it romanticizes the war, but fuck it it aint a real war. 

slowest of burns. amazing. life changing. long as hell. nothing else to be said except read it right now i demand it.

4. Clouding the Senses / ~58K

As everyone returns to Hogwarts for a final eighth year, some people are coping better with the aftermath of the war than others. After encountering a very drunk Draco Malfoy one night, Harry realises that maybe those that lost loved ones aren’t the only ones trying to escape the war. Blaise Zabini seems to think Harry can help Malfoy, that the Slytherin might actually listen to him. Harry is not so sure. Dependence is a tricky thing, and one addiction can quickly shift to another.

everyone that reads drarry loves 8th year fics, but this ones just kinda different from all those normal (yet entertaining) ones. draco’s an alcoholic in this, and one night harry tries to help him and whoops, one thing leads to the other and they start having casual sex. its really, really amazing how both draco and harry navigate the addiction, i really cant say it has any flaws. 

i know the author got a lot of hate on their fics and thats why they took them down, but they’re truly one of the best drarry authors out there. i’ve reread this a couple of times, and the tenderness, the love and confusion is all very on character. a+

5. Restraint / ~153K

Someone casts the Imperius curse on Draco Malfoy, and whatever the instructions may be, Harry finds himself an unwilling target. The encounter leaves him torn between pleasure and revulsion. As they fight in the aftermath, a tense game begins. Harry fights to convince Malfoy, and himself, that he was not affected by that initial encounter, or any of those following it.

Faced with a series of escalating encounters, Harry must come to terms with desiring things he never thought he could, things he wishes he didn’t respond to. They each use signs of arousal as weapons against each other in a mad struggle to finally shame the other into backing down for good. 

But it’s only after the game is over that Harry starts to understand.

this is by the same author of clouding the senses, and i read this just this week. at first, it’s shocking, because it plays around with consent in a very unsettling way. when communication comes in, and its starts getting healthier, you can really understand where the author found the idea of playing with consent. it is, in my opinion, 100% characteristic of how they would behave post-war, with that grief and confusion. it’s also dom/sub in some parts, and that’s mf hot. 

it also has my favorite tropes in it, but it’s a spoiler to say which one. i’ll probably mention the trope in the list along with a bunch others, but when u finish reading you’ll know which one ;)

6. Humbug / ~30K

Draco has been taking his casual relationship with Harry for granted. Visits from four key ghosts the night before Christmas just might shake up his priorities in life.

(felt like it was valid to just paste what i wrote in my notes app after reading this)

(FUCKKKKKK HOW TO EVEN START?!!!?? just a fucking bonus, draco is THE best bottom o ever exist i love my bottom son so much. this story isnt only amazing it’s excruciatingly painful to read, harry and draco have been sleeping together but harry is completely in love with him. draco doesnt see how much harry cares for him or how much hes hurting harry by treating their fling like its just that, a FLING. with that, draco is haunted by three ghosts. one of the past, the present and the future, AND THEY SET THAT IDIOT STRAIGHTTTT 1800000/10. the gays DO KEEP MF WINNING!!!

7. in your arms, rests my world / ~24K

Harry presses his mouth to Malfoy's forehead; he wants to tell him that he’ll never leave, that he wouldn’t dream of it.

“You make me feel safe, Potter” Malfoy whispers. “You keep me safe.”

the friends with benefits trope doesnt ever disappoint, top 5 tropes fr, especially if its also 8th year. harry and draco get into their little thing, but of course nothing ever is simple between them. by the preview, you can clearly see how much draco likes harry (also another 10/10 trope, the ‘i’ve been in love with harry potter since i was 11′ one). my only tiny issue with this is that harry fucks it up just a tad, but it of course adds up to the drama of it all, which i absolutely love.

noting it also touches on non-con/rape and, and all in all, is extremely angsty. one i was tense from beginning to end. but i am gonna say it ends amazingly and v happily.

8. Playing the Hero / ~29K

Nobody kissed me like Harry did. He kissed like he flew; he kissed like he duelled - with his whole being, not caring about anything else. I had never felt as vulnerable as I did when he kissed me, seizing all and any control I had over myself. But when Harry kissed me, I felt free...

so the thing about angst is that it ignites that mf feeling side u that even tho it hurts you cannot get enough of. this fic was EVERYTHINGGG. it made cry and laugh and smile. also another trope i absolutely adore is them breaking up and not being 100% ok with that, bc ding ding!! YALL STILL LOVE EACH OTHER!! 

i cant describe how i felt, honestly. i would just paste my notes (i wont bc spoilers) but it looks like i went thru sum shit. deadass

9. fine i’ll hold my breath / till i forget it’s complicated  / ~ 15K with the two parts

Harry and Draco become friends with benefits, and Harry thinks it's more complicated than it actually is.

u know, fluff is a drug. i dont know if its beucase 90% of drarry fics are about angsty get-togethers, but i had butterflies in my stomach when i read this. its adorable. draco is so clearly in love, he jusT SMILES A LOT I CANTTT. 

its cute. i love it to death. have some fluff before starting your day.

10. Un Noël très parisien / ~14K

When Draco crossed paths with Auror Potter at a political function in Paris, he was not expecting their former animosity to change into something rather more intriguing. But he could be certain their casual flirtation would not last more than the night, couldn't he?

look. i know i named a lot of my favorite tropes here, but i cant end this without mentioning how much single dad draco affects me. i love scorpius and how much he changes draco in every fic he appears. i love parent draco and i shant be silent about it (especially when scorpius is legit just a year old in this. i died)

as it states, harry and draco have a one night stand but draco thinks thats it, that it was all he was ever gonna have. he’s wrong of course, and the path it takes, with both scorpius and harry there, just melted my mf heart.

well kids that’s all i have for now. imma work on a part two with 10 other fics i really love!1

[binickandros]

i'm sorry to be bothering you with this but you're like the most active blog with the stand content, and i like your opinions. but i'm here just to vent, cause i was so fucking disappointed at the show and i actively decided "you know what i'm just gonna pretend it never happened and go on with life", but i can't. not a day goes by that i don't feel extremely mad or that i do not check on the stand tag on tumblr to check other people's opinions, and tbh i am so fucking sad i cannot let it go, you know? every day i am taken over by a wave of anger. and i know the topic of nick being disrespected and the topic of harold having a show just for him has been overly discussed. but i don't even think it matters? cause everything was so incredibly bad? i mean, it was lazy. and i mean literally everything. the only thing that would be defendable would be the cast, which is a lot of very talented nice people, but then they cast hearing boy for a deaf character (i'm not shitting on henry zaga, he's a good enough actor, but ableism, yk??) and then AMBER HEARD? they fucked up the one good thing they had going on wich was the cast... but anyway, the whole thing with the laziness just... kills me. like no character development for anyone at all. not even "main character" harold had development. you knew the exact kind of shit he was from minute 1 and nothing changed. what about frannie and stu?? simply out of no where. glenn didn't even get a backstory or flashbacks of his own?? and omg the dreams?? like... so shallow and i felt like it wasn't enough to convey how much of it permeated the story development?? i am just honestly mad and i am sorry to vent on your asks i just don't have anyone else to vent to who will get me.

Okay first thing I meant to answer this last night and somehow...didn’t idk. Second thing, you’re not bothering me IN THE LEAST so don’t worry about that!! Third, and I say this as someone who’s been on tumblr a while and absolutely no criticism is meant, but when did tumblr start allowing asks this long?? This is like a fan mail of old.

Anyway...a cut bc y’all know why...

God DAMN it makes me so mad bc of the wasted potential. Like you’ve got this book that’s beloved by millions, one of the most popular books written by one of the world’s most popular authors, and like. There’s not much you need to change!! Mostly it’s updating things!! Say what you want about SK, but the man KNOWS storytelling, and with the exception of some bad tropes he uses too often and outdated depictions, he knows character development!! Like it is literally RIGHT THERE on the PAGE!!

So okay you don’t wanna make a shot-by-shot adaptation. That’s fine!! I don’t mind adaptational changes!! What bothers me is when you change things to the point that someone new to the material doesn’t “get” it. I mean duh obviously anyone can get the basic plot of the The Stand, but I mean like how...new ppl don’t understand why Nick’s death is a big deal. They don’t get the importance of the dreams. They only see “magic” in Flagg, and not in like...the entire fabric of the world King’s built. And also they aren’t fucking pissed at the US Military for starting the whole gd thing, and then acting like such dicks about it.

That’s the hardest pill to swallow for me: the letdown. I was so excited about having a new, updated Nick. More Nick!! Because it’s 9 hours!! Nick signing?!? I hate ofc that they cast a hearing actor, but there wasn’t anything I could do to change that, so I was hoping that at least they’d be, like, accurate in their portrayal of a deaf-mute character. But then they WEREN’T and it was BAD and LAZY.

I just see LAZY written all over this in mile-high letters. Coasting on King’s bonafides, trusting that fan allegiance alone would paper over their flaws and let things slide. I keep comparing it to Game of Thrones, but honestly that’s what it feels like. D&D were such lazy god awful HACKS, and it wasn’t finally until the last couple of seasons that fans started waking up to that fact. Boone & co didn’t have the benefit of goodwill from earlier seasons, so they’re getting roasted right away. As they should be. Nadine’s lack of gray hair = Dany’s lack of purple eyes. Lack of focus on the dreams = lack of focus on the direwolves...and it all just goes downhill from there.

I just wish for every adaptation from now on we could have a little committee in the room that calls the showrunners out on basic misunderstandings about the work they’re adapting. “Oh it’s just hair color, who cares??” “Well 1) a lot of ppl, but also 2) maybe it would be okay if you ALSO didn’t make all these other changes that clearly demonstrate how little you care about fundamental worldbuilding here...”

But!! That group is allowed 1 (one) token straight white male, and the rest have to be POC, women, and the gays. And a mixture thereof.

Literally I think 90% of our problems could have been solved by diversifying the writing room. Because even if they made adaptational changes we didn’t like, at least they wouldn’t be shitty white boy changes rife with tokenism.

[etherealwaifgoddess]

Adapting

Summary: Bucky tries adapting to the 21st century but finds the challenge too much for him. He loves Steve, but he can’t imagine ever fitting in to the modern world and it leads him to a drastic solution.

Content Warning: A very sad Bucky. Very brief mention of period-typical homophobia. Overall this one is a little angsty but it has a happy ending, promise. 

Word Count: 2.3k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies, it’s been a while! I’ve been trying to get back into the groove of writing over the past few weeks and that posed more challenging than I’d expected. I managed to get this little fic where I wanted it though and figured I’d share it while I try to wrap up all the other stuff I’m working on. Hope you all enjoy :)  XOXO - Ash

Adapting

After a few months of living in the twenty-first century Bucky found he both loved and hated it in turns. When he’d been cleared as completely deprogrammed and sent home to the states he thought he couldn’t have been luckier. He was finally a free man, from both the government and the decades of brainwashing. Bucky was looking forward to living with Steve again in Brooklyn, the two of them on their own and free to do whatever it was super soldiers do in retirement when they’re not even thirty yet. The world was his oyster, he thought to himself as they signed the lease on a cute little condo right in the heart of their old neighborhood. 

The glamour of the twenty-first century faded quickly as Bucky tried to adjust to everyday life. Steve, who had been doing well on his own for four years, was eager to help Bucky acclimate to the new century. Unfortunately, Steve took to that as he did with all things; barreling in head first all at once. Bucky needed time to adapt, he couldn’t just throw himself at something and become good at it like Steve could. As much as he loved Steve, and god did he ever love that man, it was hard keeping up a brave face. Even harder, was that the love he’d felt for Steve back in the 30s hadn’t diminished one bit. 

When they were young being gay was a death sentence. Something so secretive that even back alley whispers could ruin a man’s life. Bucky had known he was gay since he knew what it was to want someone in that way. And like most things in Bucky’s life, it all came down to Steve freaking Rogers. The fine boned little blonde who never knew when to quit, his giant spirit housed in such a delicate frame. Bucky never acted on his feelings, never dared to, but some days he wished he’d had. It had been enough though, the time they’d had together in their tiny apartment over the Miller’s garage. He knew it wasn’t a crime to be gay anymore. He’d caught on to that pretty quickly, thank you HBO, but he still couldn’t bring himself to share that truth with Steve. Maybe someday. Bucky needed time to process and evaluate before proceeding, just like everything else in his life. 

One of the first things Bucky really minded was the food. Steve had warned him that everything tasted a little different nowadays but claimed he’d get used to it. Steve loved all the different types of takeout you could get in the city, willing to try anything and everything. Bucky found he couldn’t get past how fake everything tasted, like he could sense the lingering chemicals. Steve continued to insist they’d find something Bucky liked, even trying to ply him with bags of candy and boxes of mass produced cookies, trying to cater to his sweet tooth. Bucky gave up finally after a week where he’d spent ninety percent of the time hangry. He headed down to the farmers market and loaded up on all organic produce and heritage bred meats. He found an artisanal bakery that used simple organic ingredients too. Bucky took to making his own food from his farmers market shopping trips and was finally able to enjoy a meal. Steve, bless him, continued to try and find things Bucky would like but it never seemed to work out. Bucky felt guilty every time he’d have to pass something back to Steve with a “no thanks, pal” and the light of hope in Steve’s eyes dimmed. 

Steve was quite attached to his iPhone and thought for sure Bucky would love one too. He came home one afternoon with a sleek, shiny, little phone for Bucky, handing it to him like it was something priceless. “It does everything, Buck. You’re gonna love it.” he insisted. Bucky did not love it. The tiny black device only served to piss Bucky off more than anything. He could never quite get the hang of navigating it and his fingers always felt too big when he was trying to type. He’d loved technology when he was younger but the phone was just a bridge too far, and one he was not ready to learn how to cross. “I’m a hundred goddamned years old, Steve. No, I don’t wanna learn how to tweet. I’ll leave that to the fucking birds.” he grumbled, throwing the phone down on the coffee table after yet another one of Steve’s well intentioned attempts at teaching Bucky how to use some annoying app. Steve let up after that, leaving Bucky to poke around on the phone only when he was willing. Bucky knew Steve was upset that his gift wasn’t well received, but he was too frustrated with himself and the whole situation to apologize. 

Socializing was even becoming unenjoyable for Bucky. He used to go out every weekend to the dance halls and, when they were flush, the bars or clubs. Bucky was always the life of the party with a dame or two hanging off his arm, while Steve had shied away, content in the shadows. The times had certainly changed. Steve was now the one urging Bucky to hang out with the team and go out to the movies, but Bucky couldn’t have had less interest. He didn’t want to hold Steve back, and he felt horribly guilty when Steve would give him that damned sympathetic smile and say “It’s okay, Buck. We can just stay in.” when he very clearly wanted to go out. Bucky just couldn’t seem to fit in. He didn’t get the jokes or share the same interests with anyone and it was exhausting trying to make it seem like he did. So he preferred to stay at home in their condo, reading books or watching documentaries on their ridiculously large TV. He did occasionally enjoy when Natasha would drop in. It was seldom, but sometimes the tiny redhead would drop in unexpectedly with some old fashioned, homemade, Russian dish tucked under her arm for him. They would sit in silence watching a documentary, not having to say a word. She would give him a gruff hug and then be on her way. It was perfect and Bucky enjoyed her drop ins more than he’d admit. 

Everything came to a head after Steve’s birthday party. It was a week from hell as far as Bucky was concerned. He’d wanted to get Steve new paints and canvases, the expensive ones he’d seen the blonde fawning over a few weeks prior. Buying the supplies involved either going out in public alone, not ideal, or internet shopping, even worse. He tried to get them online but gave up after an hour, wanting to smash the damned laptop. Forcing himself to go out in public when he was already in a foul mood served to be just as disastrous, but he made it somehow. Then there was the party. Steve deserved the biggest, grandest party a guy could ask for, as far as Bucky was concerned. He wanted the best for Steve, he just didn’t want to be part of it. Steve looked at Bucky like he’d kicked his puppy when Bucky had told him he didn’t think he would be attending. So Bucky had put on his brave face and joined in on the loud, obnoxious party on July 4th to celebrate. Every drunken laugh and cheer grated on his nerves but he was coping and was quick to smile and nod every time Steve would look over. The last straw was the damn fireworks. Bucky hadn’t even stopped to consider how he would be with the fireworks but he quickly learned he was very not okay. Steve was staring up at night sky like it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, completely enraptured by the show. Bucky was digging his nails into his palms so hard blood trickled slowly down to his wrist, his whole body shaking uncontrollably. In between blasts, he miraculously managed to excuse himself for a bathroom break, and locked himself in the bathroom where he could fall apart for a few minutes. Maybe the shrink Steve had drug him to was right about the whole PTSD thing. Fuck. 

Bucky was certain when he woke up the morning after Steve’s party that he was ruining the other man’s life. There was no sugar coating it anymore, Bucky was bringing Steve down by being with him. Bucky didn’t think he’d ever adapt to this new world and he was so damned tired of trying. He wished they’d just left him on the ice in Wakanda until they needed him for a mission or something. It had worked out for the past seventy years, it would probably be better knowing it was the good guys pulling the strings now. Sure, Steve would miss him at first but Bucky was convinced it was for the best in the long run. Who needed a socially inept, only slightly stable roommate who couldn’t do anything on their own? And Steve, self sacrificing saint that he was, would never complain about it. Which honestly just made it worse. Even when Bucky had his low spells and would spend days on end curled up in bed, unable to even function, Steve was there to support him however he could. It was just too much to throw on the man, no matter how hard Bucky was trying or how much he loved him. 

“I think I need to go back on the ice.” Bucky said one night over dinner. He was only half way through his roasted chicken and potatoes but he couldn’t wait another minute.

Steve choked on his pad thai. “What?!” he yelped once his coughing fit had stopped.

“I need to go back on the ice.” Bucky was firm in his decision, “I’m not meant for this world, Steve. You know it as well as I do. So let’s save everyone the headache and put me back under. If the team ever needs me you can just bring me back out to help.”

“I’m gonna be sick.” Steve jumped up from his spot on the sofa and started pacing, running his hands roughly through his thick blonde hair. “If we did that to you we would be no better than Hydra. Do you get that?”

Bucky sighed heavily, he should have known Steve wouldn’t get it. “It’s nothing like Hydra. The Avengers are the good guys. I won’t be brainwashed or tortured or anything. I’ll just take a long, chilly nap and you guys can bring me out when you need me.” 

“I need you!” Steve cried, exasperated. 

“Stevie,” Bucky’s tone softened, pleading, “I’m ruining your life, pal. I can’t, I won’t, sit back and watch you give up this amazing life you could have if I wasn’t in it. I want you to be happy.” 

“That’s fucking rich.” Steve barked out a harsh laugh. His pacing stopped and he stood stock-still to stare a Bucky. He couldn’t hold it back anymore. “I just want you, Buck. How can you not see that? It’s only ever been you. Even when it was just you and me in that shitty little apartment in 1936, when we were so broke we couldn’t turn on the heat. I...” Steve’s voice broke with emotion and he shook his head. 

Bucky’s chest ached, terrified of what Steve was saying. It couldn’t be. “What are you tryin’ to say?”

Tears shone in Steve’s eyes. “I love you. I always have, and I guess I always will. I know you think you’re not adjusting to life now but you’ve only been here for six months. It took me a whole damn year to really get my bearings. I won’t give up on you. Not when I just got you back.” 

“How long?” Bucky cleared his rough voice, “How long have you felt that way?”

Steve shrugged, “Since forever, I guess. I’m sorry, I know you’re not-”

“I’m gay.” Bucky blurted out, cutting Steve off. “And I’ve loved you since the minute I could put a name to the feeling.” 

“Fuck.” Steve cursed, crossing the few feet to pull Bucky into his arms, “Fuck, we’re terrible at communicating.” He crashed his lips down on Bucky’s, frantic and desperate. 

It wasn’t a perfect first kiss but it was everything to Bucky. Steve’s warm palm rested on the back of Bucky’s neck, stabilizing him as he drowned in the other man. It was rough and heated and absolutely perfect. “I love you.” Bucky rasped out in between kisses, “I love so much.”

“Don’t leave. Please don’t leave me again.” Steve pleaded against Bucky’s lips, holding him closely, “We’ll figure it out, Buck. I promise. Please.” 

Bucky trembled, tears falling with giant sobs. He was so emotionally worn out and he clung to Steve like a lifeline. “Okay. We can try.” 

It took another six months and a few extra therapy sessions, but slowly Bucky began to adapt. It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t quick, but that was okay. Change happened slow and gentle, like dawn rising up over the city rooftops bringing warmth and light to everything it touched. They found compromises and Steve did his best to be patient with Bucky, even though sometimes he practically vibrated out of his skin with the effort to slow down. They moved Bucky into Steve’s room and adopted a fluffy white cat they both doted on endlessly. Bucky eventually found common ground with Sam and they even made a weekend trip down to DC to visit him and do some sightseeing. After seventy years of being apart, and twenty years before that hiding their feelings, being able to be openly in love felt like the biggest blessing either man could have asked for. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but they were together and that was all that really mattered. 

[abbeyfangirl]

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum. 

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so. 

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

[swatato]

fat. FAT. P H A T RANT INCOMING FOR ANYONE WHO CARES TO READ THIS NONSENSE CUZ @haldidoodh ASKED

That episode literally blasted the last of my serotonin into smithereens but TBH??? WHO AM I MAD AT I should have seen this coming this whole volume has been such a headache. I cant be bothered to type up a coherent rwde essay on everything that bothered me this episode so im just gonna copy and paste my earlier yelling here instead ;A;

Team Rwby was god awful in episodes 11-12. They’re so self-righteous, entitled, hypocritical and cocky as a team and it doesnt help that they all suck as individual characters nowadays (except for weiss but even she lost best-girl points this episode also lmao blake and yang aren’t even INDIVIDUALS anymore they’re just bumbleby). It was annoying at first but now its just infuriating how rwby thinks theyre always right with their uwu energy and think they can do whatever tf they want with ZERO CONSEQUENCES.

Basically any time there is a problem in this show they have Ruby uwu at it and its solved lol.

They kept giving ironwood shit for taking on this incredible burden SO THAT NOBODY ELSE WOULD HAVE TO and rather than offer any real solution they just kept going “but mantle” like okay?? But remnant??? Like obvi letting mantle rot is bad but HE WAS OPEN TO ANY HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS CUZ HES OBVI AT HIS WITTS END AND DOESNT LIKE THE IDEA EITHER but yeah they just proceed to be the fattest hypocrites by hiding secrets of their own after being all “no more secrets uwu” and WHEN THEY GOT EXPOSED THEY JUST WENT “>:[“ (yangs self-righteous little glare here pissed me off so much oof) especially when ironwood was laying everything out in the open to them from the start. AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SECRET WAS FKIN “OH YEAH SALEM CANT DIE LOL” They watched ironwood make every decision he did in hopes of beating Salem while KNOWING she couldnt die??? So literallY WHERE do they get off on screeching at him with their yOu doNt hAvE to Suffer In ManTle YOu doNt kNow whAt iTs liKe bs. Wtf made ruby distrust iw at the start anyway? Because he had a bunch of ships out? They kept this CRUCIAL piece of information from him because he seemed stressed out?? Like what made ruby keep the secret from him. Someone tell me.

And the fact that rwby beat the ace-ops makes no goddamned sense. The power-scaling in this show is non-existant. We finally got to meet some pro huntsmen in this universe who aren’t teachers but are actually on the job, but because we gotta move out of the way for that 👌🏽✨ Power Of Friendship✨ and ✨rwby is always right✨ they somehow managed to beat experienced huntsmen with YEARS in the field who’ve actually graduated school??? FARM BOI OSCAR WHOS *JUST* LEARNING HOW TO FIGHT MANAGED TO LAND A PUNCH ON NEO FKIN POLITAN??? Didnt neo dance circles around yang??? Yang, who punches for a living and also beat mercury and adam??? I cant yall (and the fact that he didnt even bother to sneak up on her this boi literally screamed “no!!” as he ran down a hallway and neo didnt even have time to blink??? Pls)

Ruby’s “you were the best, until you trained us :3” -for maybe 2 days before my team went dancing ruby sis shut right tf up pls my god is this line just so. UNEARNED. Training in a room for a short while does not simply grant you the years of field experience the ace ops have and whAT IS UP WITH HER TRYING TO REASON WITH HARIETT AFTER SAYING THAT COCKY LINE AND FIGHTING HER??? WHAT and also like. The entire idea of “the ops lost cuz they weren’t good friends and were bad at teamwork uwu” is just so dumb. Ur telling me this group of high ranking hunstmen who’ve most likely been working together for at least a few years didnt have teamwork down??? Learning to work together is the most BASIC concept for a team to learn!! Its like the first thing a team has to perfect!! If the ace ops are supposed to be the best of atlas you dont think the ops would have gotten something as fundemental as teamwork down?? I dont buy it. And who gives a shit if they dont hang out after work or take selfies with eachother. Being friends doesnt necessarily mean theyre great at working together. If they succeed at relying on eachother to watch their backs, to keep each other alive (in the words of hariett herself) then Id think theyd know how to protect eachother i.e WORK TOGETHER.

And for all the ✨friendship✨ and ✨going through so much with someone✨ talk rwby like to do, the show barely displays these people acting like friends. We’re constantly TOLD how great of friends this group is, but the actual CONTENT we are shown leaves a lot to be desired. Tell me the last time ruby and blake teamed up in a fight. Or weiss and blake. Or yang and weiss. What teamwork?? Yang only interacts with blake now and weiss is only ever allowed to interact with ruby. Has blake ever said nora or ren’s name out loud? Have jaune and yang ever held a conversation between just them? Team rwby just spent a GOOD DEAL of time seperated from eachother, but when they reunite their teamwork is still somehow better than the ace ops?? Honestly its easier to believe that ruby is closer with team jnpr than she is her own team. If they showed the ops messing up during rwby vs ace ops fight due to lack of communication, then it still doesnt matter. My point is that they shouldnt have lacked teamwork in the first place.

Robyn was m e h this episode “JaMes ConTinUes to UnDeresTimAte Me” *proceeds to get knocked over in .3 seconds and is then KO for the rest of the episode* also great job for starting a fight and aiming to take clovers life in a moving airship with a terrorist on board when clover was acting PEACEFULLY and qrow was WILLING TO TALK IT OUT WITH IW and potentially work on a solution, but naw robyn is big mad and shall shoot.

Qrow made zero sense this episode too. I was with him right up until he chose TYRIAN OVER CLOVER??? THE PSYCOPATH WHO CANNOT BE REASONED WITH OVER THE RATIONAL DUDE YOU KNOW IS GOOD except clover wasnt acting rational in this fight at all and ill get to that AND IS THE ONLY FRIEND YOU HAVE WHOS NOT 19????? Qrow rly looked at tyrian- a man who is literally an enemy to all of remnant and went after ur neice- and said lets get rid of this punk together u and me bro. Like screw teaming with clover to bring down the dude you ACTUALLY have a grudge with whos also a serial killer and then trying to talk it out with clover whod be willing to do things peacefully why is this show like this

and AS FOR CLOVER. where were the braincells this episode. Qrow was trying to fight tyrian-the WAY bigger threat here, but clover??? kept knocking him away from tyrian and restraining him with his hook like??? YEAH LETS HELP OUT THE DEMON SCORPION CRACKHEAD HES CLEARLY NOT THE PRIORITY ATM nvm clover deserved to die there m8

His death scene was emotional and I feel bad for Qrow but u literally sealed his death when u ganged on him with tyrian so why are you even surprised. And on the subject of fairgame, im glad it didnt happen. Qrow was in no state for romance and I was glad he finally had a friend. He just spent the last volume thinking he wasted his life away helping oz, drowning in misery, drinking til he passed out on the street and so drunk he couldnt even be of any help during the apathy situation, when up til now hes been shown to fight just fine while drunk. I don’t see this as a “bury your gays trope” because clover was never confirmed to be gay and all their scenes added up to 40 seconds of platonic friendship. These two are grown ass men, if they had the hots for eachother then im pretty sure they could openly show it and not dance around it like theyre kids. I do feel bad for mlm viewers who were hoping for some rep with fairgame/lucky charms (cuz rt only cares if ur a cute marketable lesbian) but idc for the overly entitled fans who try to force their own headcanons on the writers and go feral when they dont get what they want. You dont just get to prance around claiming whats canon and what isnt. If rep is there then great, but if it isnt, then why not look somehwere else and let the author tell the story theyre trying to tell? Shipping fairgame cuz you think its cute is absolutely fine but not when u start getting ready to casterate crwby for not catering to you. Also, rwby sucks with lgbt+ rep anyway so what were yall expecting.

The only thing that was great this episode was the chorerography. It just sucks that the animation/choreo continues to improve while the writing doesnt. Another thing that really fell off this episode was the whole “we’re friends but we have to fight” drama. It doesnt work when its only ONE SIDE SHOWING ANY DISTRESS OVER IT. Only the ace ops (marrow, clover, the vine dude) seemed to show distress over having to fight rwby (it sucks that the only 1v1 weiss has won was because marrow was going EASY on her cuz he didnt wanna fight her fr) but rwby???? They didnt give any shits. They were so quick to turn against them and aim for their heads. They were SMILING as they ran at the ace ops, while they looked conflicted. If you oppose their UwU philosophy, you’re dead to them.

I really wanna enjoy RWBY but sometimes this show (and the fndm) really tests me. Its ironic how this episode came right after last episode, which I thought was the best chapter this volume. Anyway I rate this 10/10 cuz it gave me best character ironwood and best boi marrow and I would like to give them hugs for carrying this volume on their backs. (Also tyrian and penny and winter have been great too)

[shadowboltgamer-blog]

The Awakening Ch 1: Final battle

(Author note: I’m so sorry to everyone for the long delay of The Awakening. @attitudeangels was the one writing this until she had family problem, so she ask me if I can finish for her. Give AttitudeAngels some support and love. Thanks to everyone for the wait and sorry again, hope you enjoy it)

After the Loser Club found out Mike lied about the ritual and now they have to face themselves with pennywise once again. When they his true form and tell them for their blind mistake. Pennywise started chasing them around the cave, not before long the Loser split up in different directions, which confused the giant clown.

Richie POV:

Me and Eddie ran into a cave trying to get away from Pennywise. We kept running down the cave, trying to find a way out, then ran into three doors.

“Shit. You gotta be fucking kidding me”

“Um, all right. “Not scary at all.” All right? Eddie said

“No no no”

“W-wait why?

“They’re flipped, he fucking with us”

“Are you sure”

“Trust me”

“Positive”

“Yes”

“Okay”

We walked towards the very scary door. I turned the door knob and opened it. It was a dark closet, then a voice called out.

“Where’s my shoe?”. My heart started speeding up. I pulled the string to turn on the light bulb. We heard tap dancing, and it started getting closer then giggling. A girl without a torso started skipping towards us. We started to scream then shut the door.

“What the fuck!”

“You told me to trust you!” Eddie said

“He’s not fucking with us, let’s go to “Not scary at all.”

“Okay”

Eddie was scared to see what’s on the other side of the door. He turned the door knob and opened it slowly. “It’s all right. Let’s go” Eddie said. We started to walk forward then we heard a noise then looked down to see a little Pomeranian.

“Oh shit” Richie whisper

The little Pomeranian just staring at us with his tongue out

“No way am I falling for this shit again”

“Oh yeah. That things a fucking monster”

“Richie, make it sit”

“I know yours moves, you little bitch”

Then we heard growling behind

Eddie whisper “Richie, it’s gone man”

“Yeah, wait”

“Okay”

We both turned around to look at the little Pomeranian

“Sit”!

“He did it”!

“Oh that’s cute”

“That’s a good boy”

“That’s actually super cute”

“That’s a good boy”

“Are you a good boy”

“Good boy”

Then out of nowhere the Pomeranian turned into a giant monster. We screamed at the last second, before it was about the launch at us, we closed the door shut.

“Shit” Eddie yelled

“Yo, next time, we just go with regular, “scary.”

“Next time!” I yelled

We speed walked out of that cave and trying to find a way out.

3rd POV:

When bill came out of the water, he swam toward the edge then he pulled himself out. Mike was hiding behind the rock, when he turned around and saw Bill on the fall trying to catch his breath.

“Bill” Mike whisper

He stands up and about to help bill when pennywise pop out of nowhere. “Miss me” pennywise shout

“I know what you are. That’s why I’m not afraid” Mike said

Pennywise wrapped his arm around Mike then pulled out his claws. He lifted him off the ground, then started laughing.

“Well, I know what you are. A madmen”

Pennywise opened his mouth and more Sharp teeth came out, he was about to bite Mike when he got hit with a rock. Mike turned his head to see who saved him.

“Hey, fuckface!”

The giant clown turned his head then threw Mike into the rock wall, after Mike landed he groaned in pain. Richie picked another rock and look at IT

“You wanna play Truth or Dare”?

“Here’s the truth. You’re a sloppy bitch”!

“Yeah, that’s right”!

“Let’s dance! Yippee-ki-yay mot…

When Richie was about to throw the rock, pennywise put Richie under his deadlights. He lifted him off the ground and showed him his worst fears. Eddie ran out of the cave and saw Richie caught in pennywise deadlights.

“Oh shit Richie”

Eddie backup against the wall then he looked at the spear that Beverly gave to him before they went deeper into the sewer

“This… kills monsters. If you believe it does. If you believe it does”

“IF YOU BELIEVE IT DOES…. BEEP BEEP, MOTHERFUCKER!!”

Eddie threw the spear. It landed in pennywise mouth, he let go of Richie then he landed on the ground, but he hasn’t fully if out of the effects

Eddie POV:

“Hey Rich, wake up! Come on, man! Wake up”!

“Don’t do this to me, Rich, I swear don’t-”

“What do I do, what do I do? Fuck! What… this happened to be once and ben…”

“I hope this works”

I looked at Richie then his lips, I placed my hands on the side of his face. I took a deep breath and exhaled. l lean in and kissed Richie. I couldn’t tell if it was working, then I felt a hand on the back of my head and then Richie pulled me a little closer. I didn’t want it to end, but I had to end it.

“Hey there he is! I did it, Rich I think I killed IT! I- think-”

Then out of nowhere Richie pushed me to the side, I heard a loud crash.

“We gotta move, buddy” Richie said quietly

“How did you- you just saved my ass, I could've…”

“Yeah and I gave you the ted talk about it later if you want, but now we gotta kill this fucking clown”

Time skip

After the Losers Club bullied pennywise to death and got his heart. When they place their hands on the heart. When Richie and Eddie’s fingers slightly touch, then they slowly interlocked their fingers and they hold on to each other. Eddie looked at Richie, he felt his face heat up. Then he looked back at the heart and the Losers crushed it.

At the lake

When Bev jumped into the water first then the others jumped in after her. They were so happy to be free from pennywise and finally killing him. When they started cleaning themselves. Richie and Eddie were doing their business and then they looked at each other, they smiled at each other and then they moved towards each other.

“Ed’s-”

“Rich I was so fucking scared”

Then they hug each other

“I never been so scared in my whole life, I could if die”

“Breathe eddie, it’s over. Don’t worry we did it, we killed the clown, it all over”

“I have to tell you something, you gotta promise me. You won’t freak out”

“What is it Rich”?

“Ed’s I been in love with you for 30 years

"You’re”

Richie pulled away to see Eddie

“Yeah I’m gay… everything Bowers said about me was true when we were kids, there’s that”

“It’s fine Richie, I felt the same way about you”

They look at each other, slowly leaned in. They kissed passionately, Richie ran his fingers through Eddie’s hair. They pulled away and touched each other’s forehead. Then they heard whistling from the Losers, Eddie giggle and Richie started yelling at them

“OH COME ON, DON’T DO THAT, FUCK ALL OF YOU, ME AND EDDIE WERE HAVING A MOMENT!”

“SERIOUS RICHIE IT TOOK YOU THIS LONG TO TELL EDDIE HOW YOU FEEL. IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU GREW SOME BALLS, RICHIE” Stanley said

“WELL THATS JUST FUCKING RUDE”!

Everyone started laughing and splashing each other, playing childish games. Then they got tired and swam back to shore then started walking back to town. While they were walking and some of them were talking to each other. Eddie was right behind Richie, he looked down at Richie’s hand. He took a deep breath then he gently grabbed Richie hand then wrapped his fingers around, Richie looked at, Eddie, smiled then he did the same thing.

Skip time

When they went back to the hotel and everyone took a shower and settled down, they decided to celebrate their victory and their freedom. They were drinking like crazy, they were cracking jokes, playing games and a little bit of dancing. A few hours later when things were finally settled, everyone went to their room, but when Eddie was about to go into this room, he turned around and walked towards Richie room. He knocked on the door. Richie open the door and smiled at Eddie

“Hey Ed’s what brings you here”?

“Nothing I was just wondering what if I can sleep with you tonight”

“Oh s-sure Eddie”

“Okay just let me get somethings and I’ll be in there”

“Okay”

Eddie walked back into this room and grabbed a couple of small things like, toothbrush, toothpaste, his phone etc. Then he changed into his pajamas, grabbed his things and went into Richie’s room.

“Richie is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just thinking”

“That’s dangerous”

“Yeah, so are you”

“What that supposed to mean?”

“I like you Eddie… More than anything”

Eddie smiled and he remembered how his heart was pounding against his chest and having butterflies in his stomach.

“I like you too, Richie more than a friend”

Richie smiled and hold Eddie hand

“What do we do”

“Well, first of all stop calling me Ed’s

Richie rolled his eyes and chuckled

"Second, we should wait and see what happens next?”

Richie looked at Eddie, he placed his hand on Eddie cheek and gently rubbed his cut on his face. He closed his eyes and moved closer into Richie’s hand, he looked up at him. Eddie leaned in, then he kissed him. Richie pulled Eddie closer and made the kiss deeper. Eddie grip onto his hair. Richie gently pushed him down onto the bed and they had a heated make out. When they pulled apart to catch their breath, Eddie pushed Richie onto his back then he got on top of him.

Eddie slowly took off his shirt

To be continued