papuhater

[papuhater]

Rant incoming!!

Don’t get me wrong I love all my followers, but some of y’all got me acting like Emily in this clip.

I will not hesitate to delete your comment(or even block people if necessary) if I feel like y’all are being too pushy about my writing.

Some people be forgetting that fanfic writers are doing this FOR FREE and if the only comment we get are “part 2?” “Next part?” “Tag me.” “Can you make this longer?” “Next update?” Without any other sort of appreciation for the work,or just asking nicely, we aren’t gonna want to write anymore!

I’m gonna start ignoring and deleting comments like that because it makes me sooo frustrated.

[papuhater]

lonely part 2 ꕥ

father figure!Miguel O'Hara & reader summary: You're his dead fiancé's daughter. You just lost your mother and now Miguel's left you alone to live in another dimension.

Contains: Mentions of death, bad parenting, mental illness, ANGST, not proof read.

WC: 1411

part 1

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

They had banana pancakes for breakfast that morning, blissfully unaware of what was to come. Unaware that would be their last breakfast together.

Or that Miguel would receive a phone call hours later and be asked to identify his fiancé's body.

It didn't make sense. They were supposed to get married and begin the next chapter of their life. They were supposed to grow old and gray together. Instead, she was laying cold and pale in an equally cold morgue. Her chapter ended. The mortician gave him the ring in a tiny plastic bag that felt impossibly heavy in his palm.

The night Dana died, part of Miguel died with her.

Then there was you, her daughter. Her doppelgänger. Fuck, why did you have to look so much like her? It was unbearable, and he felt like he was being haunted every time he looked at you. It wasn’t fair to you, but he couldn’t help it.

So he would just leave, only coming back every few days. Only at night when he knew you were asleep so he wouldn’t have to risk seeing your face.

He distracted himself with work and spending more time researching the multiverse. He stumbled upon this one particular dimension's family a few months after Dana's funeral. He began watching them on his platform obsessively, living vicariously through his alternate self. They had a little girl and he could see little bits of himself and Dana in her. 

He fell in love, and as if the universe heard his prayers, an opportunity presented itself. He watched as his alternate self bled out in an alley. He buried him too, somewhere no one would find him. But wasn’t this better? He would take over so they would never have to mourn their father and husband like he did for Dana.

And he continually justified his actions for months, so deep in delusion he couldn’t see the damage he was causing. Though, he could never bring himself to make another batch of banana pancakes no matter how Gabriella begged.

Then he lost Dana. Again. The dimension crumbled into a myriad of colorful pixels before his very eyes.

----

In the midst of his grieving, your face appears crystal clear in his mind.

Fuck, when was the last time he went home? When was the last time he saw you? Has to be months now. But it's in that moment he realizes you're all he has left. The only one who hasn't died or abandoned him. Yet. Dread pools in his gut at the realization.

As rushes back home for the first time in months, all he can think about is seeing you. He needs to make sure you're still there. That you haven't abandoned him.

"Cariño, I'm home," Miguel shouts in the doorway, but he’s met with silence. "(y/n)?"

When you don't answer Miguel frantically begins tearing through the house, fear and panic bubbling up.

Miguel strains to hear sounds of movement, of life, but there's nothing. The oppressive silence weighs on him as he frantically searches each room.

"No, no, no," he mutters, panic rising. This can't be happening again. He can't have lost the last link to his happiness, his salvation.

Stopping in the middle of the empty apartment, Miguel clutches at his hair, breathing hard. His eyes flash red and his fangs slide out as he tries to reign in his swirling emotions. Anger, grief, guilt, panic - it broils inside him, threatening to erupt.

He needs to find you. Now. Miguel races outside, using his enhanced senses to track you. It doesn't take him long, your scent and energy signature are still strong despite the distance and time apart. As he swings and runs through the city, following the trail, Miguel berates himself.

How could he abandon you like that? Get so wrapped up in his own pain that he didn't see yours? What kind of man does that make him?

He won’t fail you again. Once he finds you, Miguel vows to never let you out of his sight. To protect you, to care for you, to make up for his failures.

—

He almost doesn’t notice you amongst the other travelers at the train station, curled in on yourself at a lone bench. You have a suitcase with you. You were planning to leave for good and Miguel’s heart twists at the realization.

Miguel approaches slowly, as if afraid you'll bolt like a frightened doe. His eyes glow dimly red in the darkness, focused intently on you.

He says your name that comes out like a plea on his lips. His voice is gravelly with emotion. "I've been looking for you."

He stops in front of the bench, towering over your huddled form. You look so small and fragile, so different from the vibrant personality he remembers. Guilt flashes through him. This is his fault.

Miguel kneels down cautiously, trying to meet your lowered gaze. "I'm sorry, cariño. I'm so sorry I left you alone." His voice cracks slightly.

One large hand reaches out slowly, gently grasping your chin and tilting your face up. His skin is warm against yours.

"But I'm here now. And I promise, I'm never going to abandon you again." Miguel's eyes blaze with intensity. "You're mine, understand? No one is ever going to take you from me."

His posture is almost predatory as he looms over you. Waiting for a response, for acceptance, for you to acknowledge the unbreakable bond between you. He needs this, needs you, like air in his lungs. You are his salvation, the one good thing left in his ruined life. 

You stare at him in shock, like you've seen a ghost. Miguel has to fight back the urge to sweep you into his arms and never let go. 

But after the initial shock wears off, anger flashes in your eyes.

"You left me! I needed you and you left without a fucking word!" You push on his brick wall of a chest that does nothing but hurt your balled fists. "For six months."

“I hate you, I hate you,” you cry before dissolving into sobs, heedless of the bystanders shooting concerned looks your way.  “I needed you.”

Miguel doesn't budge as you push against his chest. He takes your weak hits without complaint. When you struggle in his hold, he tightens his grasp just enough to keep you close.

"Shh, I know cariño, I know," he rumbles softly. Miguel brings up a hand to gently wipe the tears from your cheeks.

"Leaving you was the worst mistake of my life. I thought I could escape the pain, pretend it never happened." His jaw clenches. "I was a coward. And you suffered for it."

Miguel tilts your chin up again, forcing you to meet his intense gaze. "But I swear to you, that will never happen again. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. No matter how hard you try to push me away."

The hand on your chin moves to grip the back of your neck firmly. "You want to be angry? Hurt me? I'll take it. I deserve it." His voice drops to a rough whisper. "But I'm not letting you go. Not now, not ever. You're stuck with me."

Miguel feels you slump against him, the anger and fight draining out of your body as quick as it came. He keeps one arm wrapped securely around you, supporting your weight.

"I've got you, princesa. I've got you," he murmurs. Miguel scoops you up effortlessly, one arm under your knees and the other supporting your back. He holds you gently against his broad chest.

Your exhaustion is evident - you feel impossibly light and frail in his arms. Worry creases Miguel's brow as he takes in your wan skin and limp hair. Guilt gnaws at him, knowing he's responsible for letting you waste away like this.

But he'll fix it. Starting now.

"Let's go home," he says quietly, already moving with swift, sure strides. Miguel glances down at you cradled safely in his embrace. "I'll take care of you. Get you fed, draw you a hot bath. And then you're going to get some rest."

His tone brooks no argument. This is non-negotiable. You need him, and Miguel relishes being needed, being able to provide and care for you. It gives him purpose.

"Everything's going to be okay now. I promise." He presses a gentle kiss to your hair. "I'm here."

[papuhater]

. . . . . ╰──╮ lonely ╭──╯ . . . . .

father figure!Miguel O'Hara & reader summary: You're his dead fiancé's daughter. You just lost your mother and now Miguel's drifting away. Contains: Mentions of death, bad parenting(kinda?), neglect, mental illness, angst. not proof read. WC: 942

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

Five years ago, your mother fell in love.

When your mother first told you about Miguel, you had already decided you didn’t like him. 

"Hola, chiqui. I’m Miguel.” You had to crane your neck to look up at him.

"I'm not chiqui," you spat with narrowed eyes, not bothering to hide your disdain with his existence. It wasn’t like he was mean or anything. In fact, he was quite the opposite.

No, it was the way he was looking at your mother like she hung the moon and how comfortable he was in her space - it was all wrong. He was trying to settle in a place that was already taken. 

Your place.

A little voice told you that he was trying to steal her away from you. That if she started to love him more, she would forget about you. And then you’d be alone. Your mother was the only family you had, and it was supposed to stay that way. Just you and her.

For the first few months, you would glare daggers at him if he tried to talk or stand too close to you.

But he was persistent in getting you to like him, and eventually he succeeded.

"Oye, princesa," Miguel greeted after picking you up from school and got hit with the silent treatment. Again.

Miguel let out a sigh. "Vale, vale," he muttered to himself before pulling into the parking lot of the ice cream parlor.

He tried again when you were sitting down with your ice cream.

"You know... I love your mamá and you, sí? I'd never take her away from you. Never." He ran a hand through his hair. "I want to take care of both of you. I'm going to get a nice, big house for us. Gonna make sure you go to a nice college..."

In the midst of his rambling, you looked up from your ice cream, studying him. And you found sincerity. It was the first time you considered the possibility that maybe, just maybe there was enough room for your mom and Miguel in your heart.

And overtime, he had carved a place for himself in your life. He became family, in every sense except blood. Miguel wasn't your father, but he acted like one during the five years you've known him. Doing all the things you wished your biological father had done.

You never had a father growing up, but you imagined this is what other kids must have felt like. Loved.

—-

And one year ago you lost your mother. 

When your mother died, that's when he started to become absent. At first it was subtle. During your conversations, his eyes would glaze over and he would give one word answers, like his mind was somewhere else. He would leave and you wouldn't see him for days. So you learned to wake up from a dead sleep at the quiet click of the front door unlocking. You were desperate.

Days stretched into weeks. Weeks into months.

Grief and loneliness followed you around like a storm cloud. Your friends slowly drifted away from your dark and gloomy aura until no one was left. It's been six months since you've had any sort of contact.

Six months ago you lost Miguel. In a fit of desperation to know he isn’t just laying dead in a gutter, you dig for answers. You find it in your phone, in the cloud storage that you both shared. That’s when you find the pictures, and videos. The proof that he was alive tasted like ash on your tongue.

Your hands shake as you uncover the hundreds of pictures and videos of Miguel with a woman who looks just like your mother and a little girl who isn’t you. The first one is dated seven months ago.

"What the fuck."

As you scroll through all the pictures of them smiling, you feel like you're suffocating. Tears blur your vision and roll down your cheeks, but you force yourself to scroll through them. That little girl is his daughter in another universe. His and your mother’s.

So this is where he went.

"Good job, princesa," he says in one of the clips as he helps her with her math homework. Just like he used to with you.

You sink to the floor and retch up the meager contents of your stomach. Your mind is a maelstrom of anguish, betrayal, hurt, and most of all - loneliness.

"It's not fair," you croak, pulling yourself up. It's not fair that you get to play house while I'm stuck here with no one.

And you were nowhere to be found in any of those clips. Your mother was family, this random child was family and yet... he could care less if you were in this universe or that one.. Maybe you weren’t in that universe. Maybe it didn’t matter.

Maybe you never mattered. You're not blood - that means you’re not family, right?

You sense yourself straying into dangerous territory. The isolation, betrayal, grief - they're all festering in your head, telling you to give up. That no one would even notice. In a moment of clarity, you realize just how unwell you are. Physically, you're malnourished after barely feeding yourself. Your skin is waxy and your hair is limp.

"I can’t do this," you whimper, over and over as you pack a suitcase. You leave the house in a daze and the sun blinds you at first after rotting in that lifeless house for so long. Your feet take you to the train station.

You don’t know where you’re going, you just know you can’t stay another second in that dead home.

[papuhater]

Do ypu have any gen hcs for gabriel? Like, relationship wise. or not hihi

I just love him so much he’s so bbg

I gotchu!!

Gabriel doesn’t get enough love and recognition. As many, I do hope he makes an appearance in the next movie.

♡Gabriel Relationship Headcanons♡

He is definitely the type of guy to bring you flowers on your first date

You would receive texts from him at 3 in the morning, asking if you were still awake because he wanted to talk to you and just hear your voice.

He would take you on dates to the amusement park, library, or do picnics. It didn’t matter. He would do anything you wanted to do. As long as he got to spend time with you, he didn’t care.

Gabriel was always happy to accompany you when you went out shopping. While other guys would be bored out of their minds following their girlfriends around the mall, Gabriel would have the time of his life. He would urge you to try out the clothes you’d pick and even pick some things himself for you to try. He was always your biggest supporter.

Whenever you felt insecure, he would always be there for you, reassuring you that those thoughts were not true and that you were perfect and meant the world to him. He would repeat himself as many times as he needed to for it to stick.

Gabriel was the golden retriever in the relationship. It was very rare seeing him upset or serious. However, it did cause you some worry at times, hoping he wasn’t bottling any stress.

Whenever you had those restless nights where your mind would be racing, you’d feel anxious or stressed, Gabriel would immediately make his way to your place. Didn’t matter if it was 2am. He would get out of bed and go to your place to comfort you.

Gabriel had his own insecurities as well. Whenever he saw you and his brother Miguel hanging out, he sometimes would think you’d be better off with Miguel, since he was the more attractive one- at least, that’s what he heard. But, you always assured Gabriel that you only had eyes for him.

Gabriel loved cuddles. He loved cuddling you and nuzzling his face against your neck, wrapping his limbs around you like a koala.

Gabriel can sometimes act like a sad puppy when he is deprived of attention from you. He will look at you with the biggest puppy eyes and pout until you kiss his pouty lips and nuzzle up against him.

While he may act all carefree and unserious, he is responsible and makes sure your needs are met

Sex with him is always an experience. Sometimes he is sweet and slow, other times he can be wild

He gets baby fever like crazy! If you two are both on the same page in wanting kids, he would subtly press you about it, like showing you some cute baby clothes from the rack while you’re shopping, or even cute stuffed animals from the toy section

May make a part 2?? *shrugs* Let me know if you guys want more Gabriel content

[papuhater]

GYARU!

[papuhater]

I DO COMMISSIONS!!! DM FOR INFO

[papuhater]

I think it’s so silly how Giyuu has this huge ass house and it’s just like.. empty?, like there’s no furniture or anything that you can see just the shrine and that’s literally it, he’s not even sitting on a cushion or anything just the bare floor. That is so him. He’s so silly

[papuhater]

dating Miguel O'Hara headcanons

(miguel o'hara x fem! reader)

He leaves you for a man.

[papuhater]

Like and reblog if you agree with this:

[papuhater]

TAKING WHAT’S NOT YOURS 

(I watch her go with a surge of that well known sadness and I have to sit down for a while– the feeling that I'm losing her forever.)

The rundown: That cake scene with Miles at his father’s bodega party but it’s with Miguel and his universe’s daughter. He’s late and it’s your quinceañera. Content: Father!Miguel O'hara x Daughter!Reader / Angst! (wc: 3844)

There was something oddly peculiar about your father. People would assume that he would be the archetypal absent one who chose to abandon his child; the dead-beat-dad who ultimately never cared for them. You’d argue it wasn’t true– you were fed, you had the weight of what a fifteen year old should have, and education was proper. 

You love your papa with all of your heart, but there was no denying the fact that he would never be around often enough. You understood this when you were eight years old, and mornings would bring only a cold breakfast accompanied by a hastily scribbled note from him. He’d leave early– far too early. You tried staying up in an attempt to tell when he gets up and leaves the house, but you swear you don’t hear the door open every time. 

Then came twelve and the missed events. Miguel seemed to be missing in action when it came to certain school activities, not showing up for things that he had previously made commitments for. It became more and more frequent as you grew older– you wouldn���t hear from him for days.

He was a man dedicated to his profession, and although you felt pride in what he had achieved, there was this empty space in your heart that hadn’t been filled ever since you were eight. It was said that a child needed the presence of their parents to feel security– to feel important. You never truly understood it, not until you had to endure many nights at dinner alone and the numerous times you spent walking home with nothing but your own thoughts for company.

You had always pondered over the question of whether it was a common phenomenon that fathers seemed to love their daughters less once they had reached teenagehood– or if it was possible for fathers to unlearn being fathers. 

“Is your papa coming, bebita?” 

The faint notes of classical music filled the air as you sat on the wooden floor, stretching your sore limbs. You observed the ladies who were much older than yourself starting their exercise routines, having come in early before the group class began. You waited for Miguel to pick you up. 

– But that had been two hours ago. Your teacher finally worked up the courage to approach you, hesitantly looking for the right words to say. She wasn’t exactly pleased to be the one to let you down, but she’d seen you walk out the studio’s door alone time and time again after you told her that your father would bring you home himself.

“He said he’d come pick me up today.” You spoke, nervously twisting the ends of your skirt. Your teacher had most likely heard these words countless times before from you, but the faint ray of hope in your voice remained firm. “He promised.” You added quietly, praying that maybe it would be different this time. 

“Ay, bebita– you know how this ends. You tell me those exact words and you walk out here on your own anyway.” She slightly shook her head, her face softening with a sympathetic smile as she knelt closer to you. “Tell you what, how about I offer to give you a ride home today? I have plenty of snacks in my car that you can enjoy. You can take as many of them as you'd like.”

You took some time to consider it, letting her gently weave her fingers through the strands of curls that couldn't quite fit into a bun. Your lips pursued as you sighed softly, “What if he comes and I’m not here anymore?” You’d hate to miss the opportunity.

Of course you still had faith that he would come, having endured all the other times he had let you down. You were never one to quickly give up on people and your father was the only one you trusted the most— you’d hate to admit that his inconsistency was starting to hurt; digging a deeper wound to the already bleeding cut. 

“He’s not coming and I know you know that too.” 

She stands up, grunting slightly as she hefts herself up. You knew there was no more room for negotiation anymore when she urged you to come along. She carefully takes your backpack from off your back and drapes it over her own shoulders, “Come on sweetheart, let's get you home.” 

The silence in the car was palpable, with no one feeling the need to prod conversation. You hadn't stopped fidgeting with the hem of your bag since you got in, and you could feel your teacher's worried glances burning into you. Your mind was a jumble of emotions that kept bubbling away as they all competed for your attention. What could be his reason this time/?

She switched on the radio in an effort to lighten the tense mood, but when a melancholic tune filled played instead, you couldn’t help but let out a deep sigh.

“Is it possible for fathers to unlove their daughters?” 

It was a question that took her completely by surprise, so much so that another uncomfortable beat of silence passed before she could respond. The stillness made you regret asking in the first place. Your legs shifted nervously, an unconscious habit which you had never noticed before.

“Of course not,” She muttered, almost inaudibly. “Fathers tend to forget is all.”

But you knew that wasn’t the case. 

While Miguel was never home, something else resided on the corners of your house– someone you have never met at all. She smiled back at you from the frame sitting atop your dad's nightstand, wearing the similar blue soccer jersey your school had. She was the picture on his wallet and the little widget on his phone. It was beyond you– the few blue ribbons hidden on the box beneath his bed; the medals, the drawings you know you’ve never drawn or given him. For all you know, the kid didn’t even go to your school. 

It wasn’t anything sinister, but in a way she felt like a ghost. A child your father mourned for all his life and you had no idea why. 

This was a physical pain in your chest; one that was peeling away the very layers of your heart until it was nothing but ugly– just how could Miguel love a child more than his own? It was ridiculous to feel like you were in competition with someone you barely knew, yet somehow, you felt like you were losing. It felt even more absurd when you considered the possibility that maybe you weren't really his child at all.

“I joined our school’s soccer team today, papa.” 

It wasn’t an ordinary occurrence for Miguel to be at the dining table for lunch. But on this Saturday noon, he was there. Sitting across from you, quietly eating his food. Finally, he paused and shifted his gaze towards you, seeming to linger on you longer than normal before looking away, cracking a grin.

“Soccer? You hate sports, mija.” He says, a bit of laughter in his voice. "What made you decide to try out? I don't recall you being the least bit interested before."

Something in his eyes becomes brighter, a sense of familiarity as he eagerly awaits your response– and the thing is, you couldn’t tell him why. Not without addressing the elephant in the room. Maybe you’d hang my medals too? Maybe you’d frame a photo of me? You know well your question reminds him of someone else. 

“No reason.” 

It was no surprise that you were terrible at it. After barely two seasons, you'd already given up. However it was surprising to see Miguel in the stands during the times that you had a game, but there wasn’t much to watch anyway— not when you’d been relegated to the bench for most of the time. All you felt was shame. 

Oddly enough, he didn't question it. He remained silent during the rides back home, his gaze distant and never once looked at you. Had you embarrassed him to an extent where he couldn’t even acknowledge you? Or have you given him the impression that you were just no better than the little girl in his pictures?

You dared not to talk about it too.

Music was your passion; the pulse, the poise and elegance of it all resonating with you deeply. Ballet was something that spoke to you particularly in ways no other art form could. You found a special joy out on stage, a feeling that grew deeper and greater each time you danced.

But like every flame that you desperately try to keep alive, Miguel had a way of snuffing it out. 

You remember it all so vividly, even though you'd much rather the memory be nothing more than a faint blur. Your very first recital and yet he wasn't anywhere to be found amongst the audience.

Your focus was a tunnel-vision, only set to finding even a glimpse of him— you had been so determined to find him that you forgot about all of your own movements. Soon, the few wrong turns had turned to missed cues; as soon as the music stopped, you made a run for it.

Your teacher had done her best to console you that day, attempting to coax a smile from you in front of the vanity mirror with its bright lights. She had wrapped her arms around you, doing anything she could to draw even the faintest curve of your lips. But you stayed slumped on your seat, feeling the weight of the unshed tears on your eyes. 

The door swung open, finally revealing Miguel; he was out of breath and sweat glistened on his forehead. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top and his tie was undone, a clear sign that he had run all the way here. He paused for a moment to catch his breath before walking in frantically, eyes looking for you. 

His eyes softened at the sight of you in your pretty pink tutu– then the tenderness was replaced with a feeling akin to plummeting one hundred stories down. How could he miss this? How could he let his sweet girl wait? He rushed to your side, sinking down into a kneeling position. He looked upon you with lines creasing his forehead and you already knew what was to come out of his lips.

“I’m sorry muneca, I came as fast as I could.” 

The other parents of your classmates started to barge inside the very room, their children giddy with joy and excitement, running to them with beaming smiles. You could hear their loud congratulations– voices singing sweet praises and telling how they looked outstanding on stage. The noise sounded like static in your ears, like their words were unfamiliar to you. They received bouquets of flowers, sweets– gifts for a job well done. Miguel came late and only with apologies. 

“You want pretty flowers too, mijita? We can stop by the flower shop a few blocks away from here, you can pick any bouquet you want.” His lips curved into a gentle smile, desperate to make his daughter feel better– the same daughter who wouldn't even meet his gaze. “Papa had to deal with something. I’ll be sure to go to your next recital– pinky promise.” 

“But I worked really hard for this.”

You wanted so desperately to blame him; to yell at him for every mistake that you've made on the stage. You felt ashamed, humiliated, and helpless all at once- and still, you couldn’t have the heart to be mad at him.

He looked at you apologetically, "Baby, I'm sorry I couldn't make it earlier. How about we talk about the flowers you want to buy instead? There are lots of restaurants nearby as well— you can pick whatever pleases you, just name it." He paused for a moment before continuing, gently nudging your shoulder. “I know how much this meant to you.”

If he did, why couldn’t he have come at all?

You let out a deep sigh, feeling completely ridiculous in your tutu. All of the sudden, the leotard appeared to be two sizes too small and utterly irritating; your tights seemed unbearably itchy. You looked down helplessly, wanting nothing more than to leave this situation behind. “I just want to go home. Can we just leave? Please?” You pleaded softly. 

He bit the inside of his cheek, a gesture that conveyed own sinking heart in a way words could not. His shoulders sagged ever so slightly, breath hitching as he gave in to your request instead. 

“Of course.” 

After that very moment, you'd vowed to yourself never to wait in anticipation of something that may or may not come. You wouldn’t put your faith in any more of your father's promises spoken under the dead of night. It took a toll on you– your naivety had taught you better than before.

But when your fifteenth birthday drew near, you never expected he would go so far.

The locks clicked and whirred as Miguel fumbled with the keys to the front door. You could hear your Father's voice, clearly agitated as he jostled the keys back and forth in an attempt to fit them into the lock. Finally, he steps inside, eyes immediately darting to you.

“You’re not wearing your birthday dress, sweetie. Is something wrong?” He’s wearing a smile, struggling to keep the two boxes of cake upright as he locks the door from behind. The banner is lopsided and the balloons scattered all around seem small– like they’ve been there for days and were starting to deflate themselves. He kisses the top of your head once he gets close, getting a better view of what you were working on on the counter. Homework. “Did you have your friends over today? How was it? Wanna hear all about it.”

And he must have forgotten. You decided to pretend not to hear his question, continuing to jot down notes, only humming at his presence. He settles the boxes down, sitting on the stool beside you. 

“I know papa’s late, but you can still go and wear your dress. I want to take pictures– should we order pizza? Do you want something else?” He’s rambling, hurriedly searching for his tone to dial down a few numbers. Miguel turns frantic, looking at the closed signs under every nice restaurant. “Pizza should be fine, mijita– you’ve eaten dinner, right?” 

“Not hungry.” 

Miguel chuckled, dialing anyway. “Did school suck today, sweetie?” He jokes, trying to lighten the mood. “You know what can cheer you up? Cake. You love cake.”

“I don’t like cake anymore.” You say, your voice barely above a whisper. You can feel frustration boiling over inside– and you fear it wasn’t the kind you’ve grown accustomed to suppressing. He was oblivious and it was killing you, hurting you in so many ways possible. “I’m not hungry.” You repeat again.

“Don’t be like that, __. Besides, it’s still tradition.” He stands up to check the drawers, only finding worn out candles from past birthdays. He takes a lighter. “Know what’s better than a cake? Two cakes! You’ll change your mind, go and open the boxes mija,”

Miguel excitedly pressed his hands on your shoulders, pushing you gently forward to open the two boxes of cake. The look in his eyes was that of pure anticipation as he waited eagerly for you to do so. It almost hurt you to tell him the news— that you wanted more than to just take the blame itself. It was conflicting. 

You finally got up from the bar stool, settling on your feet in front of the counter. Taking a deep breath, you carefully opened the lid of the boxes. What greeted you had made you visibly recoil– the small flicker of hope that settled in your chest gone as quickly as it came. The cakes were crumbled and the frosting was all over the box, like it had been trampled and tossed around.

Was this all a joke? Were you a joke to him? Your shoulders trembled as you couldn't bring yourself to look away from it; the letter was still visible but amongst the cake crumbs lay written a name– Gabriella. Not happy birthday to you, but Gabi. 

You didn’t know what hurt most. Your lips quivered and all you could mutter was, “Gabi?”

His eyes widened in surprise as he quickly moved to your side to take a look at the cake himself. He swiftly closed the lids, shaking his head. “Must’ve been a mistake back at the bakery. I can–” 

And you could barely catch your breath, not when the hurt piled over one another. 

“Are the medals from her? The one’s from your bed? The trophies?” 

He furrowed his eyebrows, clearly irritated. “What did I tell you about snooping around my things, __?”

“Is this the girl–” A ragged inhale cuts your thoughts, “on your nightstand and wallet?” You didn’t even realize you had started to cry, but when another breath had caught itself in your throat, you were inconsolable– finally letting the dam break all at once.

Miguel did nothing to console you– he didn’t know how to. He knew he had messed up royally and all he could do was helplessly watch you break down. Who knows how long you’ve kept this? 

“__, come on. It’s just a simple mistake, it’s still cake–”

“And it was my birthday!” 

“Baby, what’s the big deal?” He was shocked and understandably so. His sweet, babygirl, who was usually so quiet and docile, was talking back angrily to him– but Miguel knew better than to point fingers. This was his fault– your unbecoming was his own doing.

“You just had to be late– on my birthday!” 

“I have work, baby, you know this.” 

“That still doesn’t explain anything!” You cried out, desperation flooding your voice. “Why are you never home? Where do you go? Who is Gabriella– why do you love her more than me?” You could feel your breath catch in your throat as your voice rose and trembled with every question. Your breathing grew unsteady and your throat began to close up, not allowing anymore words to come out as much as you wanted to scream. You feared there’d be no more room for air.

And there was something about Gabriella that everytime she was brought up, Miguel would be defensive. Perhaps it was the plenty of times Lyla would reprimand him when she catches him watching the few videos of them or when Jess would pity his state. “Don’t be ridiculous, __. I made a mistake– that’s it. We don’t have to fight.” He says, grabbing a spatula. “If it bothers you so much, here,”

Miguel frustratedly spreads the lettering with the spatula, leaving smudges of red on top of perfectly white frosting, resulting in a more muddled mess. He's making a complete mess of it and you can't bear to watch any longer. Your still figure finally reaches out to grab his wrist, “Stop— stop that! What are you doing?!”  

It was no use. The cake was nothing but totally ruined now. You didn’t even have the chance to read the message. He forcefully digs the candles on both, sliding it in front of you. Your eyes stayed on the cake– you didn’t have the heart to look at him. Anger boiled up within you and without a moment's hesitation, the words leaped from your mouth, "You're not listening to me! This is not what I'm so upset about—!"

But he responds in the same loudness as yours, slamming his hands down on the cold tiles of your countertop. “Okay, champ, you got it– go for it! Say what you have to say,” A sarcastic chuckle left his lips, adding insult to the already deep wound. “What do you have to tell me so bad?”

And you didn’t think it was possible for silence to be more deafening, but as you stared each other down, all you could think of was how maybe Miguel was worse than the archetypal absent one who chose to abandon his child or the dead-beat-dad who ultimately never cared for them. 

You were right. Fathers were capable of unloving their daughters and the way his dark eyes burned into yours was all the answer you needed. This wasn’t your papa– did you ever know him?

��My birthday was two days ago.” 

He furrowed his eyebrows, doubt creasing his forehead as he looked back to the calendar hung on the fridge. His gaze resting on your birthday date, the red circle mocking him in vivid reminder— two days ago. Your birthday was two days ago. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, and he felt nothing but guilt tying his stomach in knots. 

“Mijita–” He’s quick to console you, the anger in his words disappearing immediately and turning into an apologetic one– but every time he’d try to move forward, you’d only step back. Miguel couldn’t even bear to think how you’ve celebrated on your own. How you waited for him all night in your birthday dress. He subtly shook his head, trying his best not to clog his mind yet. 

He needed to make it up to you. He couldn’t lose you too.

“My birthday– why did you have to take it?” You rubbed your eyes harshly, but the more you wiped the tears away, the more they seemed to fall. “It’s mine and I still had to wait for you to be able to sing the song. It’s my day and all I could think of was what time you might come home tonight.”

You wanted nothing more than for him to run to you with open arms, to let you cry on his shoulders– but as his silence stretched on, you mistook it as nothing but ruthless. He simply didn’t care. Miguel was too much of a wall for that. 

The look you gave him was nothing but hate– a look no parent wants to ever come across and it almost makes him stagger back. It was like what he had done was the most disgusting– most inconsolable act ever beyond repair and all he could do was watch; watch as another daughter of his slip through his fingers. He’s holding you like water and he doesn’t know how to keep you in.

You scoffed, averting your gaze. “You don’t want to talk about it? Fine by me.” You turned your back, letting out another shaky exhale. You couldn’t look at him the same– not after this.

“You make it really, really, hard to feel like a daughter.” 

And with that, you run to your room, leaving Miguel to stay rooted to where he stood. He thinks to himself– had he taken that from you too?

[papuhater]

I need more Miguel cheating. I wanna feel it in my soul.

[papuhater]

there's not a lot of gabri ohara m readers 🤔

so I'll do it

[papuhater]

Shelter dogs are still just dogs. You are still a dog. You still love.

— quote from a piece my boyfriend rewrote.

i'll add credits asap! (i say, about every recent web weave i post)

[papuhater]

Tomska going hard on Twitter again.

[papuhater]

The faces of the Shie Hassaikai (excluding Overhaul and Chronostasis)

[papuhater]

he serves

In 1944 a kitten named George (short for General Electric) was saved from drowning by a U.S. Navy crew member. George was then photographed and given a liberty card and detailed health record. Source.