#you think we plan this nonsense

[alskyllhasarrived]

I love getting possessed by the spirit of a significantly more coordinated writer at 10:30 PM

[averlym]

miscellany (again),, tags in the last image by @pyrotechnicarus

[randomnameless]

I think the writers didn't write set in stone rules for Crest so they could have a more varried experience for the cast and all but some of them just... makes me ask question. Like why is there so many in Empire people who have several crest, not only all of Mercedes and Jeritza's half siblings, but also Edelgard and Lysithea yet in other country they don't and it's not all people of the Empire because Caspar doesn't have one and Hanneman's sister doesn't have one...and then you learn that they experimented on Lysithea first when she is 2 years younger then Edelgard who was 14 when she was experimented upon by the Agarthans... just... what the heck is this game ?

Jugdral too apparently didn't have rules for Holy Blood inheritence!

But... the games aren't all gung-ho about blaming Holy Blood for everything wrong in this verse...

Granted, iirc, do we know if the Emile and Mercie's step siblings had crests? I thought their step father wanted to shag Mama Martitz to get crested more kids - bar Emile who was already a crested Bartels !

Also, Hanneman's sister had one, that's why she died when her hubby tried to re-roll many times to get a crested heir?

That's partly why I'm curious about Adrestia, because we know there are crested nobles/people who are either fit to be pawned off as wedding prizes, or they just... exist, and no one gaf about them.

There's a heavy dose of sexism in how the Empire deals with this issue, but tbh, I wouldn't say it's specifically a "crested" issue, but more one where... Adrestian's society sucks, because some people try to become "more powerful" by any means necessary, let it be alliances where they offer their daughters, getting "high valued" babies or just, getting rid of people because they can (house martitz, house nuvelle, etc etc).

Monica was adopted by Baron Ochs, but she wasn't offered to a potential husband who started to work on his legacy to get a trillion crested heirs.

Bergliez was retconned in Nopes to have a Cichol Crest, even if all of Caspar's supports in FE16 treated him as a "non important" member of the House not because he was crestless, but because he was a second son...

But in general, yep, at least in backstory, Adrestia has a lot of unnamed randoms with crests (which is represented in Nopes, some generics have crests!) and yet they're randoms and not the ones calling the shots, almost as if having a crest, or not having one, isn't as important as being born male to the right family.

(and I will die on this HC-hill, Adrestia must have a least 3 different branches of the Hresvelg House, meaning at least a dozen of legitimate randos with a Crest of Seiros, Supreme Leader must have had some cousins too, and we're not even talking about bastard children!)

[noisemastter]

so,

its like that

[bonefall]

Thoughts on Riverstar? I find him interesting, especially considering he objects to early clan life but ultimately becomes a leader despite that

River Ripple is actually one of the most interesting parts of DotC and if the Erins actually cared about how Clan Culture evolved, they would have made him a much bigger player in DotC. But no, instead, we've smacked the climactic Battle of Fourtrees in the MIDDLE of the arc to make room for the Clear Sky Redemption Arc That Isnt Even A Redemption Arc.

But hey at least we got One Eye and Slash. We all remember One Eye and Slash right. Those were villains that definitely didnt feel forced and entirely completely didnt contribute to the 'evil foreigner' thing that warrior cats as a series is plagued with

No it doesn't count if you only remember One Eye through CheeCats, CheeCats has a massive brain and can do whatever they want forever. If you or a loved one has started shipping River Ripple x One Eye as a result of CheeCats you may be entitled to financial compensation.

i am included in this demographic.

But enough grinding my teeth over the parts of DotC I don't like. This is about Riverstar, a part of DotC that I DO like

Cats of the Park

The Cats of the Park have such a fascinating culture, and it seems to have a bunch of the 'missing pieces' that the Sun Trail cats don't share with their descendants. The mentor/apprenticeship system, the nature reverence, the changing of names after significant events, the rigid schedules and rituals of their daily lives...

Even the leap to worshiping STARS comes from River Ripple and the Cats of the Park.

Heck, it would have been super cool if the Clan cats actually got to react to the destruction of the Park. I think that would have been a really fun and horrific way to rise up the tension, put more stress on the forest to feed a sudden influx of cats, and establish that humans are starting to encroach.

ESPECIALLY if it happened after Thunder Rising, you know? Set up River Ripple as one of Thunder's good friends, helping him realize that his relationship with his biodad is toxic. Then he falls into the river but comes out okay, instilling a reverence of the forest in ALL of his friends

Riverstar Himself

It's really cool to see that River himself is so relaxed about everything, it's a fun and refreshing mindset that we don't get in very many cats, ESPECIALLY not after the rigidity of Clan life is established in later books.

I think that would have been a super cool contrast to the invasive mountain cats, with Clear Sky bringing his concept of borders and battles, and River Ripple trying to appease him with teamwork and diplomacy... and Thunder, Wind Runner, and Tall Shadow realizing it is not going to work.

So I think if there's one thing I really don't like about River Ripple as a character, it's how he doesn't get dragged into the bigger conflicts.

I don't think any character should have gotten that luxury, especially not someone who will become a leader later on. I think the writers let him have too much of an easy time hiding behind his river and watching everything happen from afar.

He does get involved in the One Eye and Slash conflicts, of course... but personally it just feels kinda weak.

Like, he understands the purpose of getting involved AFTER witnessing the corpse-making event at Fourtrees, not suffering loss or injury exactly because he minded his own business? Feels backwards to me.

So to be clear: What I WANT is for him to not want to get involved, but the plot should keep dragging him back in against his will.

Anyway, overall I really like the guy.

[always-a-joyful-note]

@lady-merian Sorry for replying in post but....KNOW HIM??!?! YEAH I KNOW HIM!!!!

He is literally one of my favourite authors. The way I SCREAMED when after two or so years of silence we heard from him again (with relief that he was all right).

I strive to match his chaotic writing style, his balance of emotional beats and ridiculous humour, the way he looks at his plot and goes "actually, we need more threads," the way he blends genres of portal and time travel and gaslamp fantasy and westerns and and and.....and also the way he shows his love for literary mythos (he has done his RESEARCH) with not just fairy tales and myths but also childrens lit and gothic fiction (the jekyll and hyde short story!!! the hints of dracula we're going to get in the next crockett and crane book).

Seriously, I love how he will make you cry with laughter and then actually just cry, but also how despite how heavy his books can get plot-wise, there's such a thread of lightness and fun even during the darker moments. Also absolutely obsessed with how all his characters will commit theft, arson, crimes against the time stream continuum and multiverse, and still believe they're the most sane of their group.

Sorry, this got a little rambly but I really love KRS.

[batemanofficial]

i need weed. i need a medical card so bad or im gonna go out of my fuckign GOURD

[witchwhaat]

a tragedy: couldn't fit a nap in my schedule

[bitegore]

very important question. what various decepticon teams could use one (1) frontliner speedster

eta: i need at minimum four of them for this to work lmfao

[spade-club]

:/ fighting with my partner atm. We rarely ever do and if we are fighting its over this very thing. I got real close to breaking up with them. Its so hard to weigh how I feel and what I should do here. I just want to take a nap. I'm so tired. But I'm at work and when I get home we have to finish talking. I just want to sleep before thinking about all this any more. That last half hour of my shift energy boost better fucking be enough. It never feels like it will be but I always get everything done somehow.

[askshivanulegacy]

These are great comments. I'll be the first to say that I LOVE suburbs. Find me murdering all my neighbors if I'm forced to be crammed into a city just because someone personally thought that was the best way to be "efficient" with living space.

I'm not here to be efficient. I'm here to live in a nice chunk of QUIET space, away from everyone else, because nobody else has the rock-bottom decency to not be noisy. I've done duplexes, I've done townhouses, I've done apartments, I've done cities. And I'm not doing them again. I need my own four walls with a respectable air gap between my place and the next person, and I need enough yard between me and them so their obnoxious nighttime backyard whatever is out of my way. If that means that I'm buried in a "monoculture" and I need a car to do my shopping, I'm fine with that. I do not care.

Granted, all these suburb haters for some reason always conceptualize these places as a treeless, sidewalk-less desert, which has never been my experience. I'm sure there are places like that. There are also places the complete opposite of that. I would ALSO love to have something like a small bakery, eatery, or grocery store embedded in the suburbs. I don't NEED it to be nothing but homes, but that is the "sacrifice" I'll happily make to live somewhere nice.

Living in a city is NOT nice.

But anyway, every last post and complaint on this topic is just talk. Suburbs exist. They're not magically going away (thank goodness!). Until the people wanting to update suburb layouts get up and become city planners or get into city councils at minimum, then we're just going to continue enjoying suburbs as they are.

Which is great for me, if not someone else.

So many people talking about the terrible environmental impacts of suburban sprawl, but I can't find anybody proposing an actionable improvement...

[bemusedlybespectacled]

proposing what I'm going to call Gaylor's Razor, which is: never explain normal shit as being part of a secret message that can only be decoded by over-analysis.

"These Taylor Swift lyrics are actually coded messages saying that she's a lesbian and is forced to stay in the closet! Any lyrics that are clearly about being attracted to a man are just to throw us off the scent!" Sometimes people, like Taylor Swift, are straight and write about being straight, because they are straight.

"The fourth series of Sherlock was deliberately bad because it was actually a coded message to us fans that there is a secret fourth episode that will make Johnlock canon and will actually be good!" Sometimes writers (even experienced writers who are normally good at their jobs) will write something that's not good, because no one is perfect. They're not going to waste everyone's time and money and energy creating something terrible on purpose as part of a grand master plan.

"Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir, the Canadian Olympic ice dancers, are secretly married (with kids)! Their public relationships with people who are not each other and them repeatedly saying 'we dated as kids and now we're just friends' are just to hide the truth! Which they need to hide for some reason! Their relationship is obvious just from their physical chemistry when competing! JUST LOOK AT THIS TWO SECOND CLIP OF HIM BLINKING AT HER!" It seems counterproductive to put all that thought into hiding a relationship that doesn't need to be hidden but then also telegraph that same relationship in front of millions of people through planned choreography.

"But BB, what about times that people really are speaking in code or hiding something due to outside influences?"

If it requires huge leaps in logic, like adding all the letters in a sentence together and dividing by seventeen and that number matches the binary sequence for the color yellow so YELLOW MUST BE SIGNIFICANT, it's not a secret code.

If it requires focusing on teeny tiny details but discards huge ones, like analyzing someone's micro-expressions but handwaving away what the person is actually saying out loud with their mouth, or focusing on one specific line instead of the entire scene or song or whatever, it's not a secret code.

If both supporting and contradictory evidence are used to come to the same conclusion (ex: when Taylor says something that I interpret as gay, that means she's gay, and when she says something that I interpret as straight, that still means she's gay and just hiding it), it's not a secret code.

Trying to apply fandom meta analysis techniques to real life is a really good way of fall into conspiratorial thinking that can be easily exploited. You can totally try to predict what's going to happen in a story or choose to interpret a scene in a specific way; you can't do that in real life with real people. That way lies the kind of nonsense that leads to shit like "this image of pizza on a children's toy is actually subliminal messaging by The Cabal™ that proves that Pizzagate is real."

[dksfml]

take a chance with me - yjw

pairing: school president!jungwon x club president!reader genre: secret dating, highschool, jungwon is jealous with club vice president!sunghoon, FLUFF!! en-drama typa jungwon word count: 2.3k summary: jungwon and you knew it's for the best that you keep your relationship hidden for now, however, things have been hard for jungwon ever since the whole campus started thinking that sunghoon and you make a great pair.

His laugh you'd die for, his laugh you'd die for The kind that colors the sky...

every first monday of the month brought a unique buzz to the broadcasting club. it wasn’t just about club projects or the regular announcements—there was something else in the air, something that made your heart race a little faster. it was the day jungwon, the school body president, would step through the door for his monthly broadcast. to everyone else, it was just routine—an official duty where the admired campus figure would deliver school updates. but to you, it was more than that. it was the one time you could be near him without arousing suspicion.

you, the disciplined and respected president of the broadcasting club, known for your flawless grades and no-nonsense attitude, and jungwon, the school’s golden boy, adored by every girl who passed him in the hallway. on the surface, you were nothing more than polite acquaintances—just two student leaders crossing paths for official business. but beneath that carefully crafted facade, there was so much more that the rest of the school didn’t know.

today, like clockwork, you heard that familiar knock at the door. straightening up, you cleared your throat, trying to act as composed as ever.

“come in,” you called out, keeping your voice steady.

jungwon stepped inside, and the usual chatter of the club quieted down. he smiled politely, his gaze quickly scanning the room until it landed on you. but as usual, you pretended not to notice, staying focused on the papers in front of you.

“here’s the announcement script,” you said, handing it to him without so much as a second glance. your heart pounded, but you maintained your distant, professional facade.

as he took the script from you, his fingers brushed yours—just for a second—and it sent a wave of warmth rushing through you. he didn’t meet your eyes, but you knew what that touch meant. behind the polite smile he wore in front of your club members, there was something more. and you wanted to believe no one noticed the way his fingers lingered, even if just for a heartbeat.

sunghoon, your vice president, leaned back in his chair, completely unaware of the tension. “i’ll review the schedule with y/n before we finalize it. right, president?” he asked, smiling at you like always.

“right,” you replied, forcing a smile back, though your mind was elsewhere. you caught jungwon’s jaw clench slightly, something only you could notice. he had heard the rumors—the whispers around school that you and sunghoon looked like the “perfect couple.” people shipped you two together, even though sunghoon was just a good friend who had no interest in relationships. jungwon never mentioned it, but you could tell it bothered him more than he let on.

as jungwon left the room, a small part of you wondered if that would be your last interaction for the day, but you knew better.

to everyone else, it was official business as usual: the president visiting the broadcasting club to announce the school’s plans and upcoming events. but to you and jungwon, there was an unspoken connection woven into these formalities, hidden beneath the surface of your perfectly poised exteriors. and then there was sunghoon—your broadcasting club’s vice president—always by your side, unaware of the subtle, electric tension that hung between you and jungwon during these monthly meetings.

today, as you navigated the bustling hallways of your school, you could feel eyes on you. it wasn’t unusual; as the strict, organized, and admired president of the broadcasting club, people often looked up to you. but the whispers and glances lately were different, especially when sunghoon walked beside you.

“they look so good together.”

“i swear, they must be secretly dating.”

“she’s always with him. it’s just like one of those romance novels.”

you heard the whispers and pretended not to care. you and sunghoon had always been close friends, working seamlessly together, and despite what people said, you knew there was nothing romantic between you. but there was someone else who wasn’t as indifferent to those rumors.

as you entered your classroom later that morning, your gaze drifted down the hallway, half-expecting to see jungwon pass by on his way to class. your heart skipped a beat when you spotted him. he walked with that calm, composed air, surrounded by a group of his friends. the girls nearby were in full swoon mode, whispering excitedly the moment he appeared. jungwon was the definition of the campus crush—handsome, charming, and utterly out of reach for most.

you quickly looked down, busying yourself with your notes. jungwon couldn’t approach you, not here, not with so many eyes on him. but as his footsteps drew nearer, you froze. was he really coming over? the air around you tensed, your fingers tightening around your pen. please don’t. not in front of everyone…

and then, he walked straight toward your desk—but not to you. instead, he leaned over to your classmate, the one seated directly in front of you.

“hey,” jungwon said casually, flashing that easygoing smile that made every girl’s heart flutter. “can i borrow that biology book you mentioned last week?”

your heart sank and surged all at once. he wasn’t here for you—but then again, maybe he was. his left hand rested on your desk as he spoke to your classmate, his fingers so close you could feel the warmth radiating from them. you glanced down, glaring at his hand as though it had betrayed you. did he really have to lean on your desk?

your classmate handed him the book, completely oblivious to the silent turmoil you were in. jungwon didn’t look at you, but you could sense the faintest hint of a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

“thanks,” he said smoothly, turning to leave. but before he walked away, his hand brushed over your desk once more, as if to remove something he’d forgotten. you glanced down after he left and saw it—wrapped candy with a crumpled note tucked beneath.

your fingers trembled as you carefully unfolded the note, glancing around to make sure no one was watching. the message inside was simple, but it made your heart race:

“hi gorgeous, i miss u :( just want to tell you how much i want to hold your hand right now. CU l8r <3”

a smile tugged at your lips despite your best efforts to remain composed. you crumpled the note back into your palm, hiding it away before anyone noticed. that brief interaction had felt like an eternity, and your heart still raced from the near disaster of him actually talking to you. but now, all you could think about was the note, and the secret rendezvous waiting after school.

the day crawled by, and soon enough, the afternoon bell signaled the time for jungwon’s monthly broadcast. the familiar hum of equipment filled the broadcasting room as you and sunghoon prepared for the transmission. you kept things professional as always, though you could sense the mounting tension.

when jungwon arrived, the atmosphere shifted instantly. his usual calm demeanor was in place, but you saw the slight flicker in his eyes when he glanced at you standing next to sunghoon. it was subtle—just a brief tightening of his jaw, a flicker of something unspoken—but you knew what it meant.

you handed him the microphone, nodding as you spoke in your most official voice. “the floor is yours, president.”

“thank you,” jungwon replied, taking the mic with practiced ease.

as jungwon spoke into the mic, laying out the plans for the month, you kept your eyes on the monitor, pretending to focus on the broadcast. his voice was smooth and steady, but you couldn’t ignore the way it made your heart skip.

“...and as we move into the second semester, we look forward to increased collaboration between our students and the research institute,” jungwon announced, his voice echoing through every classroom.

you felt a tug, something beyond the words, and against your better judgment, you glanced at him. to your surprise, he was already looking at you. just for a second, his eyes held yours before he turned back to the camera. it was quick—barely noticeable—but it sent a flutter through your chest.

in that tiny moment, you knew. even with the whole school listening, it felt like the words were just for you.

meanwhile, sunghoon remained oblivious, casually checking the sound levels as jungwon spoke. he leaned back in his chair, totally unaware of the silent storm brewing between you and jungwon.

the broadcast ended without a hitch, and jungwon handed the mic back to you. “good job,” you said, keeping your voice professional.

“thanks,” jungwon replied. he was all business now, but as he walked past you toward the door, his fingers brushed your hand, a fleeting touch meant only for you.

sunghoon, who was packing up the equipment, didn’t notice a thing. you wished you could feel the same ease, but every time sunghoon stood close to you, or when he smiled too casually, you felt the weight of jungwon’s gaze, the jealousy simmering beneath his calm surface.

after school, you took your usual route, heading in the opposite direction from jungwon as always. the two of you were careful—no one could suspect that the broadcasting club president and the school body president were secretly dating. but as you turned down the familiar alleyway behind the school, there he was, leaning against the brick wall, waiting for you with that familiar mischievous smile. the moment your eyes met, you felt the weight of the day melt away.

“hey,” he said softly, his voice no longer the cool, composed tone of the school president, but warm and affectionate—just for you.

“hey,” you replied, your smile growing as you walked toward him.

without saying a word, he slipped your backpack off your shoulders and pulled you into his arms, his fingers intertwining with yours like it was the most natural thing in the world. in that moment, the tension of the day—the whispers, the teasing, the rumors—melted away. everything faded the instant you were alone with him, the world outside forgotten.

“you have no idea how hard it was to keep a straight face during that broadcast,” he murmured against your hair. “standing there, talking to the entire school, while you were right there next to sunghoon.”

you smiled into his chest, feeling the warmth of his embrace. “sunghoon? really? you know he doesn’t care about the rumors. he’s just doing his job.”

jungwon sighed, resting his chin on your head. “i know. but still… i hate that people keep pairing you two together.”

“i don’t care what they think,” you replied softly. “i only care about you.”

jungwon smiled down at you, his eyes filled with affection as he laced his fingers through yours. “i know. and that’s all that matters.” he gently tugged you closer, his forehead resting against yours. “but sometimes i wish i could just—”

“just what?” you teased, smiling at how cute he looked when he was flustered.

he hesitated for a moment, before breaking into a mischievous grin. “sometimes i just want to make it obvious to everyone that you’re mine. forget all the secrecy.”

you laughed softly, your heart fluttering at his words. “we can’t, remember? the school would lose its mind.”

jungwon groaned, his hand tightening around yours. “i know. but i miss you so much during the day. all those girls swooning over me in the hallway… it’s hard not to tell them i’m already taken.”

“well,” you said, leaning in closer, your lips brushing his cheek, “you don’t have to worry. i’m the only one who gets to hold your hand after school.”

he chuckled softly, squeezing your hand. “and i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“i missed you,” jungwon murmured softly, his thumb gently brushing against your hand. “it felt like forever since i last saw you.”

his voice, low and tender, sent a warmth through you that rivaled the sunlight, and you couldn’t help but smile at how much those simple words made your heart flutter.

you laughed softly, squeezing his hand. “you saw me at lunch. in fact, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

he smirked, clearly proud of himself. “what? borrowing a book from your classmate isn’t allowed anymore?” he teased, though his eyes sparkled with something more.

“you know exactly what you were doing,” you shot back, playfully nudging him. “leaving a note like that? what if someone had seen it?”

“no one did,” jungwon replied smoothly, pulling you closer to him. “besides, i like the thrill of almost getting caught.”

you rolled your eyes, though the smile tugging at your lips was impossible to hide. “you’re impossible.”

“but you love me anyway,” he said softly, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. there was a gentleness in his voice, one that only came out when it was just the two of you.

you leaned into him, resting your head against his shoulder as the world around you grew quieter. in the dim light of the alley, away from prying eyes, the two of you could finally be yourselves—no rumors, no pretenses. just you and jungwon, hand in hand, hearts racing in sync.

“i do,” you whispered, closing your eyes as you let yourself sink into the comfort of his presence. “i love you.”

the words felt like a promise, a secret meant only for the two of you. and in that moment, nothing else mattered.

[the-millennium-curse]

See, the flashbacks to Nobara, a character who Gege really obviously didn't decide the status of, leaving her, for real life years, in a functionally dead state but without the chance for the story to ever deal with that death in any way because maybe she'll come back sometime... make me think that maybe he just isn't good at writing character deaths

Ok lets address the elephant in the room. Why is no one talking about Satoru? why is no one mentioning Satoru. why is no one grieving Satoru? why is everyone acting like Satoru does not exist?

its so jarring that no one and especially his students not acknowledging him at all.

so its either 1- Gege does not give a fuck and want to quickly end his manga 2- Satoru is alive and being healed by Shoko and will have his major comeback.

[hurtspideyparker]

If Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lived together Part 2

Read Part 1 and Part 3

Tony: Why is Underoos mopping the ceiling?

Sam: Told him since he's sticky that's his chore

Bucky: It's only fair he helps out around the house

Tony: Hm. Makes sense

-

Vision cooked dinner:

Peter: *pushing around food to make it look eaten*

Natasha: *surreptitiously spitting into napkin*

Steve: *taking small bites with tons of water*

Bucky: *just stares at full plate*

Tony: Well this is disgusting, I'm ordering pizza

-

Sam: C'mon man stop moping around, you gotta get yourself a girl

Bucky: Ok.

Sam: Ok? Okayyyyy! I know-

Bucky: Give me your phone

Sam: Oh you got a number in mind already hotshot? *hands phone over*

Bucky: *ring* Hi Sarah ;)

Sam: BOY-

-

Peter: Ned thought you would seperate your colours from your lights but he also thought you'd be homophobic so I don't pay him much mind cuz clearly I'm more of a superhero expert than him but he does have a 2% better average than me in history so like maybe you do hand wash your clothes and that's why I asked what underwear you wear because-

Steve: *listening intently with apprehension and alarm*

Natasha: I can't believe you found the one person on Earth who talks more nonsense than you

Tony: I know right, it's incredibly unnerving. I'm planning on adopting him

-

Peter: Mr. Stark I have to tell you something. I think Vision is a... *whispers* pervert

Tony: Um, why?

Peter: He keeps floating through my room without knocking! He saw me changing, he saw my nipples !

Tony: Well if anyone's a predator here it would be you. I mean showing your nipples to a 2 year old? Deplorable.

Peter:

Peter: Oh god, I'm the pervert...

-

Bucky: Y'know animosity isn't good between teammates. I think we should spend more time together

Sam: Am I being punked right now? Where's the camera

Bucky: I'm serious. I think it would be healthy for us to bond

Sam: Okay fine I'll bite... what did you have in mind

Bucky: Wanna go for a run?

Sam: *slams door in Bucky's face*

-

*staring at Bucky's sparkly clean metal arm*

Bucky: Dishwasher?

Peter: Dishwasher :)

(later that day)

Bucky: I've decided to let the child live

Peter: YoU wHaT?!

-

Thwip

Tony: Who took my coffee cup, It was right here

Thwip

Bruce: Um, has someone seen my book? I just had it

Thwip

Steve: I could've sworn I was holding a pen a moment ago

*giggling from the ceiling*

Tony: Young man I will take those webshooters away if you use them for shenanigans and rascality

Peter, muffled: Mr. Hawkeye told me to!

Clint: Oh so you're just gonna rat me out like that?

Peter: Sor- OOF

*falls out of ceiling vent*

-

Sam: You're in my spot

Bucky: There are no spots, it's a common area

Sam: Well that's my spot

Bucky: Did you buy the chair??

Sam: No, but everyone knows that's where I sit. Right Steve?

Steve: Oops I forgot something in my car, be right back *leaves*

Sam: Still my spot

Bucky: Still not

Sam: *sits on him*

Bucky: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL THE COUCHES ARE FREE-

Sam: IT'S MY SPOT YOU CAN'T TAKE A MAN'S FAVOURITE CHAIR-

BUCKY: YOU HAVE ISSUES GET OFF ME-

(one hour later)

Steve: Hey so turns out I don't have a car! Isn't that funn...

Sam & Bucky: *Squeezed awkwardly on the chair together*

Steve: I think I left something in my car

-

Steve: Leave the bedroom door open when you have Vision in there

Wanda: UGH you're so protective

Tony: Teenagers, am I right? Caught Pete reassembling my particle accelerator at midnight because he needed to neutralize a miniature nuclear bomb he nabbed off some guy he neglected to tell me was trying to kill him

Steve:

Steve: Wanda y'know what do whatever you want

Wanda: Really?

Steve: Yes just keep being normal. At least I can read about our issues in a parenting book

-

Thor: Ah, new warriors I see! Good to make all your acquaintance. But why are you so grumpy my friend?

Bucky: *glaring*

Peter: He's always like that. It's um, P- P- PMS? Wait -

Natasha: Yes it's PMS

Wanda: He's got it bad

Steve: *genuinely concerned* Bucky you didn't tell me something was wrong. What can I do to help?

Bucky:

Bucky: I like chocolate

-

Wanda: Welcome to the first annual girls night! This place reeks of men, so I thought we needed some women time

Pepper: Why is Vision here?

Wanda: I get sad when he's gone

Natasha: Why is Pietro here?

Pietro: Slay queens

Wanda: Moral support I think

Maria: Why is Peter here?

Wanda: He looked really upset when I said he wasn't included and I felt bad

Wanda: Anyways... yay girls! Who wants me to paint their nails?

Peter: ME ME ME

-

Steve: Pancakes or waffles?

Natasha: Pancakes

Steve: Good because I don't have a waffle maker

Natasha: Then why would you ask-

Steve: It's important for your voice to be heard, as team leader I value your opinion

*2 minutes later*

Steve: Good morning Clint, pancakes or waffles?

Clint: Waffles

Steve: Oh no.

-

Some of these were based on requests (ex. more Sam & Bucky, dad Steve w/ Wanda) so if you have certain dynamics you enjoy let me know !

[violenteconomics]

as a prank, ace and epel start referring to their upperclassmen as members of their family rather than by name — when they're not actually talking to their upperclassmen, of course — just to see how long it will take them to notice. and after a while, the other freshmen start doing it, too.

ace is the first one to come up with this idea. he think it's a harmless little thing, a prank that'll cause plenty of mayhem but won't get him in any serious trouble. so he starts referring to cater and trey as his dad and mom respectively, and riddle as his uptight, no-nonsense older brother.

("one time i saw my brother try to put one of mom's tart into like a ziplock bag to save it for later, and when he took it out like two days afterwards, it fell apart immediately and he started bawling, ha ha! my dad got the whole thing on camera and shared it with me — i can show you if you want.")

he ropes epel in on the plan. epel is a little more hesitant, but seeing this as a way to get back at vil, even in a small way, he agrees to it. vil is now "ma" and rook is now "pa". people do start to wonder why he still uses he/him pronouns to refer to his supposed mother, but they decide not to question it too much.

("a few months ago, my pa told me a story about how one time my ma was trying to comb his hair, only for his comb to get stuck. so he got another comb to get the first one out, and that ended up getting stuck, too. five combs later, and peepaw had to rush him to the barber for an emergency haircut. it was pretty funny, but now i'm left wondering how pa even knew that story... hold on, i need to check my bathroom mirror for cameras, excuse me.")

surprisingly, deuce catches on pretty quickly, and he starts thinking maybe it's a new dorm policy. he doesn't know why, or why nobody else seems to be doing it, but ace seems pretty sure of himself, so he starts doing it, too, if a bit awkwardly.

("my brother always gets on my case for my bad grades. it's a little frustrating, but he only does it because he cares. my dad tutors me whenever he can, but he's not very good at studying, either. but whenever i do get good grades on my report card, my mom makes me egg tarts!")

yuu starts after they ask ace about it, and thinking it's a good prank, they decide to join in on a little mischief. so they start referring to all the teachers as their "dad". it makes people really confused, because they assume they only have one dad, two at most, but "dad" seems to change personalities every single time they talk about him.

("i was helping my dad do paperwork the other day, except we didn't get anything done and spent the entire evening playing solitaire and making dog puns."

"i was filling my dad's basketballs for him for his next game, whilst simultaneously helping him rework his pick-up lines that he's going to use on rsa's 'hot librarian' — his words, not mine. it was... a weird experience."

"i was feeding my dad's cat a couple of days ago, but i guess i fed him too much, because he's just a ball with limbs now. it's fine, though — it's not like my dad actually goes anywhere. too old for that, y'know?")

ortho is up next. idia's already ortho's brother, so he can't really do anything with that, but he really wants in on the average teenage experience of pranking your peers. so he starts referring to literally every upperclassmen he knows as his "brother". this is when everyone starts to realize that something's wrong, because some of things ortho says can not apply to idia in any reality.

("my brother is so talented! he's so good at talking to people, and making them sign contracts with him, and convincing them to invest in his restaurant... gosh, i wish i could be as good at communicating as him!")

jack is, unsurprisingly, very unamused when he figures out what the others are doing, but he doesn't try to stop them. but after a few weeks of exposure, and jack starts unconsciously doing it, too, which the others don't point out to him because they think it's absolutely hilarious.

("my brother didn't show up to morning practice, again, so my other brother and i went lookin' for him, and we ended up findin' him in a tree. obviously, my brother and i can't climb as well as my eldest bro can, so my brother just... threw a spelldrive disk at him. to get him out of the tree. and then we had to rush him to the infirmary because now he had a concussion. i don't... i don't know why he thought that would work.")

sebek is the last hold-over. not only is he unamused by this prank — and frankly very aghast when he realizes that jack has also been infected by it — but he's also really repressed and will do literally whatever it takes to not sully his image in the eyes of diasomnia. of course, with enough wear and tear, this doesn't last very long.

("ugh. my brother fell asleep on the road AGAIN! i swear, so many people have tripped over him, i'll be surprised if he hasn't broken any ribs yet.")

ace and epel think all of this is extremely funny, so they all keep trucking along with it with nobody noticing for a couple of weeks. it's all fine and dandy until the first-years are out on the town during the weekend, and deuce gets involved in a really bad carriage crash.

at the hospital, deuce starts deliriously asking for his older brother to take him home. but when the receptionist checks his familial records, they're really confused because deuce never even had a brother.

unfortunately, ace knows exactly who deuce is talking about, and awkwardly spends the next 30 minutes trying to get a hold of riddle over the phone.

the awkwardness doesn't end as riddle actually gets to the hospital, and the doctor smiles and says, "you must be mr spade's big brother."